Ep. #244 - Unforgettable

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Unforgettable.

[0:04] Wait, what was this movie about? I forgot.

[0:07] Oh, Elliot, there he goes again.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:40] Hey, party over here. It's me, Stuart Wellington.

[0:45] And I'm Elliot Kaelin from what sounds like the bottom of a well.

[0:49] Hey, everybody.

[0:50] Elliot's recording in a different room than he normally does, and he's very concerned about it.

[0:54] Yeah, the bottom of a well.

[0:56] Yeah, I found an ancient Roman cistern in my backyard, and I decided to climb on in there and turn it into a recording studio.

[1:03] Yeah, you're like a real Lara Croft.

[1:06] Lara?

[1:07] Oh, yeah.

[1:08] Lara? I don't remember.

[1:10] It's pronounced Larry. Larry Croft.

[1:13] Oh, no. Not that again.

[1:15] Yeah, they wanted a boy. Larry Croft, tomb buyer.

[1:20] He's just a realtor? Is that what you're saying?

[1:23] Yeah, yeah. He buys and sells tombs. He's in the tomb real estate business.

[1:27] Because here's the thing about tombs, Dan. People are dying to get in.

[1:32] I'm a dad.

[1:35] So when you become a dad at the hospital, they go down a list of the types of jokes you can't tell anymore.

[1:41] And they're like, funny jokes, can't tell them anymore.

[1:44] Witty jokes, no. Relevant jokes, no.

[1:47] And I'm like, well, what kind of jokes can I tell?

[1:49] And they said, hold on to your hat.

[1:52] And I was like, all of them?

[1:54] And they said, mm-hmm.

[1:55] And they give you a book called 1,001 Terrible Jokes for Dads.

[1:58] And I've just been memorizing that stuff, you know?

[2:01] Now, what about dirty jokes?

[2:03] I guess you can tell them quietly to someone's uncle in the corner of an adult party.

[2:08] Yeah, you have to make sure your kid is far enough away that they don't think you're talking to them,

[2:12] but close enough that they can overhear it.

[2:14] Right.

[2:16] And you can tell dirty jokes if your daughter's friends are in the house, too, just to embarrass her.

[2:24] It's all in Chapter 1, Embarrassing Your Child, which is also Chapters 2 through 100.

[2:30] Wow, there's a lot of chapters in this book.

[2:33] It's really more of a multi-volume set. Robert Caro wrote it.

[2:36] See, now that we know what we know about Bill Cosby, I guess you can take over the dad humor-ist mantle.

[2:43] You can start doing all this dad material now.

[2:46] I mean, I think Dave Barry has that locked down pretty hard.

[2:50] I don't feel like he talks about dad stuff so much as local man does crazy thing.

[2:56] What?

[2:57] Two names, two words.

[2:59] Yeah.

[3:00] Ray Romano.

[3:01] Okay.

[3:02] Sure, yeah.

[3:03] Ray Romano has it locked up.

[3:05] Have you ever seen the video of him performing at the White House press dinner?

[3:09] No.

[3:10] It's his regular routine.

[3:11] It's about how his kids dream about candy.

[3:14] There's like no laughter in the room.

[3:17] It's like this is not the material that's going to hit well with these Washington insiders, these Beltway boys.

[3:22] Come on.

[3:23] Yeah, they don't have children.

[3:25] They reproduce with spores.

[3:27] Mm-hmm.

[3:28] They reproduce through leaks.

[3:30] So this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie.

[3:33] Oh, fuck, we already started.

[3:34] And then we talk about it.

[3:36] And, hey, guys, we're just coming off a run of real fun shows.

[3:39] We did some live shows recently, and now we're back to doing the podcast the way we do it nowadays,

[3:44] which is you in Brooklyn and me in Los Angeles and all of us tired.

[3:48] Yeah.

[3:49] Yeah, it's real weird.

[3:50] Luckily, we watched a bad movie that got us all fired up.

[3:54] Mm-hmm.

[3:55] So now I don't know when Elliot –

[3:57] So, Dan, what do we do on this podcast?

[3:59] I said it already.

[4:00] Have you already forgotten?

[4:01] Jesus.

[4:02] No, so I don't know when Elliot watched this movie.

[4:05] You watched this movie recently, Stuart.

[4:06] Yeah, yesterday.

[4:07] I watched this movie.

[4:08] We were going to record this.

[4:09] Pull back the curtain a little bit.

[4:11] We were going to record this in –

[4:12] That was me.

[4:13] That was you pulling back the curtain on me taking a shower.

[4:15] Yeah.

[4:16] We were going to record this in Los Angeles, but you threw your back out, so we couldn't record it there.

[4:20] Mm-hmm.

[4:21] And I had watched the movie already by then.

[4:23] Yeah.

[4:24] Me too.

[4:25] Ironically, this movie called Unforgettable is largely forgotten because it was like a month ago that I watched it.

[4:32] So, Stuart, you're going to take up the mantle right here.

[4:35] Oh, it's my time to shine.

[4:37] Yeah.

[4:38] Okay, guys.

[4:39] I will say I watched the first hour of it a month ago, and I watched the last 26 minutes of it about a week ago.

[4:45] So that's still pretty fresh in my mind.

[4:47] All right.

[4:48] I refreshed myself by looking at a plot synopsis.

[4:51] Does that help?

[4:52] Not really.

[4:54] Yeah, sure.

[4:55] It's great.

[4:56] I mean, that's the thing that's great about doing a movie podcast is watching the movie as far in advance as possible and then spending the whole time trying to remember what happened.

[5:08] Yeah.

[5:09] So, Stuart, you want to take the reins, and I'll just chime in when I feel like it?

[5:14] Oh, man.

[5:15] Let me consult my complicated note system.

[5:19] So we open in a – sure, why not?

[5:24] So this is a movie called Unforgettable.

[5:26] Okay.

[5:27] Based on the song of the same name.

[5:29] Yeah.

[5:30] Stuart, you keep going.

[5:33] I'll introduce my fact when you're done with telling who stars in it.

[5:36] Okay.

[5:37] So it stars Rosario Dawson and Blophouse fave Katherine Heigl.

[5:43] That's right.

[5:44] Heigl the Horrible.

[5:45] In fact, we should call this the Heigl House, I think.

[5:49] Should we take a vote on it now that I've put the motion on the table?

[5:53] I think I've got to second this motion, Stuart.

[5:55] Oh, wow.

[5:56] Okay.

[5:57] Okay, Dan.

[5:58] So call up iTunes and change everything.

[5:59] Okay.

[6:00] Call up iTunes.

[6:01] Tell them to put a new name in there.

[6:03] Yeah.

[6:04] Heiglography.

[6:05] Well, this is our new – is this our new theme month of Heigl-vember?

[6:09] Yeah.

[6:10] It's our poorly-punned theme month.

[6:12] Thanksgiving?

[6:13] Yeah.

[6:14] I was going to say about this movie that I didn't realize until after I watched it, and I was looking up.

[6:19] This was directed by a woman named Denise DeNovi who produced a ton of movies.

[6:24] Yeah.

[6:25] She produced Heathers.

[6:26] She produced a ton of Tim Burton's movies.

[6:28] She knows movies, and this was her directorial debut.

[6:32] And so going into – I'm glad I didn't know that going into it because I think I would have expected a different,

[6:38] perhaps better movie than I got.

[6:41] Okay.

[6:42] You're showing your hand a little bit, but that's all right.

[6:45] So I'm saying there's powerhouse people behind this.

[6:48] So we're punching up.

[6:49] So it's okay to say terrible things.

[6:51] Dan, go for it.

[6:52] Say something terrible.

[6:57] Rosario Dawson is wasted in this role.

[7:01] All right, Gene Shalit.

[7:02] Great.

[7:03] Stewart, back to you.

[7:04] Okay.

[7:05] So the movie opens.

[7:07] Rosario Dawson, who is not wasted in this role, is covered in blood in a police station being interviewed by the actor who played Bunny Colvin on The Wire.

[7:18] So you know he's good at being a cop.

[7:22] So he's like, hey, who's this dude?

[7:25] We found him dead in your house.

[7:26] What's going on?

[7:27] And why did you send him all these pictures on his Facebook?

[7:32] They have a pair of her panties, too, that they say she mailed to him.

[7:36] Yeah.

[7:37] So at this point, it looks like she's going down.

[7:41] Cut to six months earlier, and we're in San Francisco, which we're going to be in soon.

[7:47] More on that in a little bit.

[7:49] December 9th.

[7:50] Get your tickets now.

[7:51] We're in the offices of Chapter Pad.

[7:54] Wait.

[7:55] I think it's called Chapter Page.

[7:57] No, it's Chapter Pad.

[7:58] No, Chapter Pad.

[7:59] Really?

[8:00] Yeah.

[8:01] Well, Stewart and I both know this, and you're trying to remember a movie a month old.

[8:05] I watched this yesterday.

[8:07] No, Dan's probably right on that.

[8:10] We're introduced to Whitney Cummings.

[8:12] Wait.

[8:13] Hold on a second.

[8:14] Let's take a moment to talk about what Chapter Pad does.

[8:17] Chapter Pad appears to be some kind of a storytelling website, and what that means is never totally

[8:23] clear if it's fiction or nonfiction and whether Rosario Dawson is a writer or an editor or

[8:28] what.

[8:29] Yeah.

[8:30] I had a problem with this because I immediately assumed like, okay, Chapter Pad is probably

[8:35] a blogging site, like a place where people can upload whatever stories they want to upload,

[8:40] and that makes sense kind of as like a thing that could maybe make some money.

[8:46] But then later on, Rosario Dawson has to edit a story that someone submitted.

[8:53] So then I'm like, okay, well, is this like a literary magazine?

[8:56] Because there's no way this startup works as that.

[9:00] And then later on after that, Whitney Cummings is like, Rosario, you got to get in that story

[9:05] that you promised us.

[9:06] It's like, wait, you're a writer for the site now, too?

[9:08] Like, I don't understand what's going on in this Internet company.

[9:12] It doesn't make a lot of sense.

[9:15] Let me explain, guys.

[9:17] Okay.

[9:18] We're just going to say like, is the reason that they're a startup based around like story

[9:24] stuff and she's a writer is because that's more feminine or something?

[9:28] I don't quite get it.

[9:30] I think, well, the story reason for it in the movie is that this is a job that you don't really,

[9:35] nobody knows what writers do or what editors do.

[9:37] So you can just kind of have her not doing her job and no one cares.

[9:41] But here's the thing, Dan and Stuart.

[9:43] ChapterPad is disrupting the way we read stories by bringing together the Internet

[9:50] and the lack of those gatekeepers who are keeping you from reading the hottest,

[9:55] hardest, hardcore erotica.

[9:58] My amateurs are out.

[10:00] You wouldn't know it from their squeaky clean offices

[10:03] or the fact that it seems to be almost entirely staffed by women,

[10:05] which to be honest is fairly accurate to the publishing industry.

[10:08] But Chapter Pad said, hey,

[10:11] who says Moby Dick can't have hardcore sex scenes in it?

[10:14] Who says that A Tale of Two Cities can't now be a bondage story?

[10:18] Because that's what Chapter Pad does.

[10:19] It takes the great works of literature,

[10:21] puts them in the hands of fan fiction amateurs

[10:24] and turns them into the Fifty Shades of Grey's of tomorrow

[10:27] and you can read it on your phone.

[10:29] With the Chapter Pad app.

[10:30] Hi everybody, I'm Elliot Kalin for the Chapter Pad app.

[10:33] Have you ever been on a bus before waiting for a meeting

[10:36] and you wanted to read a version of Dante's Inferno

[10:38] that's lighter on the Catholic theology and heavier on the sex?

[10:42] Have you ever been in public and wanted to get a boner?

[10:46] All the time, guys.

[10:48] Hi, I'm Elliot Kalin for publicboners.com.

[10:51] Publicboners.com is your place for things that you can look at in public safely,

[10:55] but it'll still give you a boner.

[10:57] Well, it depends on what you're turned on by.

[10:59] Are you turned on by maps of countries you've never been to?

[11:02] In that case, publicboners.com is the place for you.

[11:04] It's mainly public domain maps of places I assume you haven't been to.

[11:08] But Chapter Pad, it's disruptive.

[11:10] It's disrupting the way we read.

[11:12] It's disrupting the way we think.

[11:14] Disrupting the way we disrupt and disrupting the way we disrobe.

[11:17] Dan Stewart, would you like to invest in this new startup?

[11:19] I need a couple of unicorn investors, some pegasi, if you will.

[11:23] I know Pegasus is not technically a unicorn, but whatever.

[11:26] Let's just go with that.

[11:28] Do you have any questions?

[11:29] What's a unicorn investor?

[11:31] A unicorn investor is like someone who's going to give you all their money

[11:34] and expect nothing in return.

[11:36] It's called a unicorn investor because much like a unicorn,

[11:39] a virgin needs to sit down in the forest to attract the investor.

[11:42] The investor lays its head in her lap and then we murder it,

[11:46] split it open, take the money that's inside and use it to invest in our business.

[11:49] What I'm talking about, guys, is a boffo IPO.

[11:52] I just need your money to help get Chapter Pad off the ground.

[11:55] Then we go IPO, we release a zillion shares for three zillion dollars

[12:00] and we're so wealthy, we can escape to the moon.

[12:02] So, that's the Chapter Pad promise.

[12:06] So, what can you tell me?

[12:09] I wasn't realizing that this was like a plot to get off world.

[12:11] I didn't know we were doing the jumbotrons already.

[12:15] Guys, have you ever wanted to make enough that you can finally move to Elysium?

[12:21] Because that's what Chapter Pad offers with this investment opportunity.

[12:24] I think instead of doing that, I want to get some kind of terminal brain cancer

[12:29] and then get a robot exoskeleton and then fight my way to Elysium.

[12:34] Sure, that's the traditional way to get to Elysium, sure, but I'm offering a shortcut.

[12:37] Invest in Chapter Pad, help people read public domain fan fiction sex versions

[12:42] of the classic works of literature and we all win.

[12:47] That's Elliot Kalin for publicboner.com Chapter Pad.

[12:49] Dan, you got a lot of money, right?

[12:51] You're always bragging about it.

[12:53] Yeah, that's the key personality trait.

[12:58] I don't need to tell you, the listener, you've been listening to 240 some episodes now

[13:03] that you know that I am Rich Uncle Pennybags from Monopoly.

[13:07] No, but you're always bragging about it off air.

[13:09] You're always like, those rubes that listen to our podcast don't know that I'm swimming in the bucks.

[13:14] Dan actually has a solid gold handkerchief and gold doesn't absorb mucus.

[13:20] He just blows his nose into it and then throws it away.

[13:24] It is ineffective, it is poorly designed.

[13:26] If it absorbed the mucus, he'd hold on to it for future generations.

[13:30] And if Dan, when he throws it away, if he hits a homeless person in the head with it,

[13:33] he goes, ka-ching, bonus points.

[13:38] Look, I'm doing a homeless person a favor.

[13:40] They can sell that gold handkerchief for big bucks, buffo bucks.

[13:46] Maybe I should get them to invest in Chapter Pad.

[13:49] So anyway, yeah, they work at Chapter Pad, a storytelling website,

[13:52] and they give Rosaire Dawson a birthday party thrown by her friend Slash Boss.

[13:56] It was a going away party.

[13:58] Oh, no, you're right. It's a going away party from her friend Slash Boss, Whitney Cummings.

[14:02] And Whitney Cummings gets her a hat as a birthday present.

[14:05] And, oh, no, it's a going away present.

[14:06] They really spend a lot of time talking about that hat.

[14:08] Creator of Two Broke Girls, Whitney Cummings.

[14:12] Yeah, talk about someone you get to invest in something when she's got the money.

[14:17] So she gives her a hat, which is awesome because, you know, Rosaire Dawson loves hats.

[14:23] And the way they're talking, you realize that she's leaving San Francisco to marry a man,

[14:31] marry a fella, and that she had just come out of a, what, a bad relationship?

[14:37] An abusive relationship.

[14:38] She was the victim of domestic abuse with her ex-boyfriend.

[14:42] But she's leaving all that behind.

[14:44] She's going to Southern California.

[14:46] And she just drives there.

[14:47] And at a certain point in the opening credits driving trip,

[14:50] her suitcases open up and all her clothes fall out while she's driving.

[14:54] And you just have to assume she never gets those again.

[14:56] It's a weirdly Muppet moment in this otherwise very serious, you know, like, love triangle thriller.

[15:03] At that point, that is the butterfly shedding its chrysalis and moving on.

[15:09] I also like that the street that she drives away from in San Francisco

[15:14] that she was living on is Cervantes Street, guys.

[15:17] Do you get it?

[15:18] Named after Cervantes from the Soulcalibur video game.

[15:23] Oh, okay.

[15:24] I was wondering where you were going with that.

[15:28] It was just like, yeah, this really is a modern-day Don Quixote story.

[15:32] I don't know anything about that, but Soulcalibur, what a game, dude.

[15:38] It's a modern-day Soulcalibur story.

[15:41] And also, one other thing in the opening credits is you get that moment

[15:45] where there's an executive producer credit for Steven Mnuchin,

[15:48] the Secretary of the Treasury, who's a real piece of garbage.

[15:52] So that's a nice moment when you're like, oh, when I rented this on iTunes,

[15:56] he got a penny from it.

[15:57] I don't like that.

[15:58] Yeah, I don't like that at all.

[16:01] Oh, man, so that's basically where my notes end.

[16:06] Okay, well, I'll take over from here then if you want me to.

[16:09] You can take over. I'll jump in.

[16:11] Okay, we cut to Katherine Heigl is putting on makeup.

[16:14] Oh, my God. I love this part.

[16:17] She is allowing her daughter to put on a drop of her perfume,

[16:20] and then she says, now you're perfect, just like mommy.

[16:24] What a great introduction.

[16:26] She's a real... and so she's the ex-wife of Rosario Dawson's fiancé,

[16:29] and she's being kind of polite, but the music tells us she's very creepy.

[16:33] She's very controlling.

[16:35] She's a real robo-lady, a real Stetford ex-wife.

[16:38] She's an ice queen stereotype, basically.

[16:41] Yeah, and not the fun type of ice queen like in Frozen,

[16:44] where she has ice powers and sings songs about letting it go.

[16:48] She never sings a song and she does not have ice powers.

[16:50] She has the power to freeze Rosario Dawson with fear.

[16:54] And give audiences the chills.

[16:57] Yes, Dan?

[16:59] When you say let it go, what is it?

[17:02] The restrictions that she's had through her life before then.

[17:05] I mean, the song makes a lot of sense in the context of the film, Dan.

[17:09] Up until that point, she's been told she can never use her powers in public.

[17:12] She has to pretend to be someone she's not.

[17:14] And now, you know what? She's already in trouble.

[17:17] She's off in a frozen wasteland.

[17:19] Let's just make an ice castle for herself,

[17:21] a la Dr. Manhattan on Mars in Watchmen,

[17:24] who makes a castle out of glass sand.

[17:26] And she's just like, let it go.

[17:28] I mean, the lyrics, if you've ever listened to the movie version,

[17:33] are all about, I have these powers,

[17:34] now I'm just going to see how far I can go with them.

[17:36] The Demi Lovato radio version is not about that at all.

[17:39] It seems to be about a relationship gone bad.

[17:41] Well, ask a stupid question, get a serious answer, I guess.

[17:45] Yep, that's that old Al Jaffe department at MAD.

[17:48] Serious answers to stupid questions.

[17:52] Where like, it would have someone being like,

[17:56] good Friday? What's so good about it?

[17:58] They crucified him.

[17:59] And this person would be like,

[18:00] well, it's a different understanding of the word good

[18:02] than you're using right now.

[18:03] It embodies the good news that mankind can be redeemed

[18:08] of their individual sin and original sin

[18:10] through the blood and the suffering of Christ.

[18:12] And the person who asked the question is like,

[18:13] I just kind of wanted to make a joke real fast.

[18:17] I don't know if you noticed this.

[18:18] I'm a dad making jokes over here.

[18:21] And the answer is like, oh, I'm so sorry.

[18:22] I didn't realize you were a dad.

[18:24] Go about your business.

[18:25] You just show your dad license

[18:27] and you're allowed to make any dumb joke you want.

[18:29] So anyway, Rosario Dawson and her fiance,

[18:32] who I don't remember his name.

[18:33] He is like the blandest, dullest white man type of character.

[18:39] He's like, and he used to work in finance.

[18:42] Now he's achieved his dream of opening up a micro brew.

[18:45] I fucking hate this guy.

[18:47] Everything about him is so hateful to me.

[18:50] He's like, you know that he was like

[18:51] a fucking college lacrosse player or some shit

[18:54] and like had a ton of fun with his buddies,

[18:56] Chet and Goober back at the frat house

[18:59] and probably was terrible to women.

[19:01] And now he's just a winner all through life.

[19:04] He never has to shave.

[19:05] He always has a little bit of stubble

[19:07] because you know what?

[19:07] If he's a little disheveled, it looks super sexy.

[19:10] But not enough stubble.

[19:12] I watched this with a friend and she was very adamant

[19:14] that anyone starting up their own micro brewery

[19:17] should have had a full beard.

[19:18] Like that was the thing she found

[19:19] least believable about this movie.

[19:23] Yeah, you don't ever really see him,

[19:25] you also don't ever really see him like work.

[19:29] No, nobody ever has to work in this movie.

[19:31] They have so much time to just wander around eating lunch

[19:35] and just talking to each other and getting into tension.

[19:37] They never seem to have to do anything.

[19:39] It's even as parents because her fiance has,

[19:43] again, this like almost tween daughter

[19:46] with Katherine Heigl.

[19:47] They don't ever have to do that much parenting.

[19:49] But anyway, there's a moment.

[19:52] So they're taking the daughter for the weekend.

[19:54] And there's a moment where the daughter, I guess,

[19:55] I don't know if she had a bad dream,

[19:57] but she crawls into bed with her dad and her.

[20:00] mom-to-be and it cuts to Katherine Heigl in her bed at her house and she briefly

[20:04] awakens because her her her paranoia sense that she might be being replaced

[20:09] like triggers something like yeah it's one of those moments where you're like

[20:13] is she like an otherworldly creature like is it possible that is it possible

[20:19] that Katherine Heigl is actually like a dryad or something like that like I

[20:24] don't know she's certainly possessed by some kind of demon and we'll get to that

[20:27] more later oh yes so yeah at that point so at that point the dad can't make

[20:33] dinner you know Katherine Heigl shows up unannounced at dinner where Rosario

[20:38] Dawson is cooking and she is kind of shitty to her she makes pasta because

[20:43] Rosario Dawson's food is too spicy for her daughter too spicy because her

[20:48] daughter is only been exposed to the most Caucasian of foods I assume yeah

[20:52] the the hint of ethnicity that comes with Rosario Dawson is just too much

[20:57] it's a this this macaroni and queso is just too spicy I guess this is a very

[21:03] what's weird about this movie is that you could totally see this movie maybe

[21:07] it's the Steven Mnuchin connection I don't know but it's like you could

[21:10] totally see it as a kind of Trump movie where it's like these non-white women

[21:15] are coming in and stealing our white husbands from our white selves and our

[21:19] white daughters and they're cooking them spicy food this is outrageous her

[21:23] hair isn't even the right color like it's a is it there's a there's a maybe

[21:28] it taps into something you know a real sense of anxiety that the Katherine

[21:31] Heigl's of the world have now in middle America and in the wealthier enclaves of

[21:36] the suburbs what do you guys think yeah I mean they keep talking about how this

[21:40] is a small town but they the only houses we see in the small town are really big

[21:45] are enormous and I don't think that small town has the labor to run a

[21:52] brewery like well you don't notice they actually work they actually live in

[21:56] Galt's Gulch from the Atlas Shrugged books oh we're at all the creators

[22:01] actually shrugged books the one book trilogy the Atlas Shrugged trilogy the

[22:09] they live in they live in Galt's Gulch where all the makers and creators went

[22:14] to get away from all the takers and the leeches so that guy I assume all the

[22:17] rich people just kick in and help each other clean their their own houses and

[22:22] run their own breweries but everyone in the movie seems to be super just wealthy

[22:27] and have no cares that their lives might be stolen by this woman from San

[22:31] Francisco something we learn Rosario Dawson's restraining order against her

[22:36] abusive ex-boyfriend has expired okay she gets a piece of mail that tells her

[22:40] this and also Rosario Dawson makes it clear she's not on Facebook why would

[22:45] she be on Facebook she only works at a website she only works in them in the

[22:49] world of social marketing and online media why would she be on face I mean I

[22:53] was under the impression she wasn't on Facebook because after this abusive

[22:57] relationship she deleted all that shit oh that's probably it that makes sense I

[23:01] mean okay you know what I retract it movie make more sense than I thought

[23:05] moves it after this situation you know Rosario Dawson's explaining that she

[23:10] wants to be she wants to be good at being you know a mom in this case so

[23:15] she is working on she's working on this big activity board which is the real

[23:20] lesson of the movie guys activity schedules that's the thing that's really

[23:24] unforgettable am I right no it's very forgettable that's why you need the

[23:28] board okay so cut to a scene of Katherine Heigl doing some angry horse

[23:34] riding right angry 3d yeah you skipped the part where in the middle of the

[23:43] night Rosario Dawson hears a creepy noise no it's just the daughter's

[23:47] hamster no wait that's her boyfriend at the window oh no wait it's her fiance at

[23:50] the door and he likes her food and it was like the movie just didn't want to

[23:54] commit to any one jump scare it was like it kept coming up with new ideas and

[23:59] just throwing them out at you but it was the rare moment in the movie where up to

[24:03] this point anything was really happening it felt like a movie that was content

[24:06] to kind of like sit around and wait for something to happen yeah we're just kind

[24:10] of interact and be around real cinema verity are you including the jump scare

[24:14] where he eat some food and you're and he likes it and you're like oh no that was

[24:18] the food Katherine Heigl made and then he's like no it's your food I like it I

[24:22] would like it the movie just continued like doing jump scares after the guy

[24:27] came home like it was just like oh something's on this porch oh it's a

[24:31] raccoon and then like she goes to bed and she like does that thing where she

[24:35] closes the mirror on the on the what do you call it the above the sink yeah and

[24:41] someone's standing behind her and it's just like oh my mom came to visit yep

[24:47] she picks up the mail and she's like oh no it's a bill oh no it's for someone

[24:51] else because bills are the really scary thing am I right guys yeah yeah the

[24:57] Buffalo Bills are a scary football team so and a scary serial killer yeah so now

[25:03] we're introduced to we have at what a dedication ceremony for the brewery and

[25:09] that's where we were that it's parent before that it's parents day at school

[25:13] uh-huh and I was I was watching the scene with my wife and she described

[25:16] Katherine Heigl gives her daughter what my wife described as the least

[25:20] affectionate hug I've ever seen and Heigl sees them all like leaving without

[25:25] her and it was at this point that I was kind of curious as to why Katherine

[25:28] Heigl didn't get to spend any time with her daughter but we learn why later go

[25:32] to the okay the brewery is opening Stu what happens uh yeah I don't know that's

[25:38] where you're introduced to what this guy does for a living and yeah I just don't

[25:41] like this guy man like and we're also introduced to the idea that Katherine

[25:46] Heigl I guess is still a partner I'm assuming she was part of the she owns

[25:50] part of the brewery they make jokes about how she won't even drink beer and

[25:55] he takes the microphone at the ceremony and says she wasn't thrilled that he was

[25:59] chasing his beer dream but she wishes him the best and it's very clear from

[26:03] her tone that she does not wish him the best and she's also wearing the she's

[26:07] also wearing the white dress that Rosario Dawson had tried on earlier that

[26:12] day to be a possible wedding dress that's the Rosario Dawson stopped at

[26:17] Katherine Heigl's favorite dress shop and tried on some dresses she bought one

[26:21] but she didn't buy that white dress and I should mention we know that Katherine

[26:26] Heigl wishes only the worst for everybody and as a bad person because as

[26:29] you mentioned we saw her intensely riding a horse and for some reason that

[26:33] I can't quite understand riding a horse a woman riding a horse in the movies has

[26:37] become shorthand for she's a bitch like if a woman is riding off if a woman is

[26:42] in jodhpurs and a riding cap and is riding jumping a horse over some hurdles

[26:46] it's like oh damn she must be a total she's a total shrew

[26:50] well should she be interested in communing with this animal moment it's

[26:53] how I felt when I watch Mad Men I'm like now that's I get why Don Draper is such

[26:58] an asshole to people yeah cuz he's got to come home to this horse riding lady

[27:03] it's true though like I mean I assume that the shorthand here is like oh she's

[27:08] a rich person like she's from the upper classes like that's what that's what

[27:12] most horse riders are in in culture I mean like not really probably but I mean

[27:19] it's a money like I'm in what like Western culture right yeah and Western

[27:25] culture not like Wild West but like everybody rides horses yeah yeah there's

[27:33] and and also sometimes a woman is just riding a horse off a diving board

[27:38] because wild hearts can't be broken yeah yeah she's not a bitch at all but it's

[27:42] I feel like especially in I think it's real more of an East Coast thing where

[27:46] people cannot afford to ride horses unless they're wealthy yeah it's like up

[27:51] she's riding a horse either she is a real jerk or she's like the prim daughter

[27:57] of a rich man and some scruffy guy from the streets is gonna have to teach her

[28:00] the ropes of life and it's how she's dressed if she was wearing like a

[28:03] fucking flannel shirt and just some jeans people be all about it right

[28:08] people be like yeah then I just assume she's gonna go host her own HGTV show

[28:13] where she like she's doing all the construction herself with her oaf of a

[28:16] husband mm-hmm I want to say I'd be called that don't impress of me much

[28:21] right Dan you assume no I want to just a mistake I don't when you assume well you

[28:31] assume that I said I want to say which oh yeah that's kind of like assume but

[28:37] not really I misheard okay I'll save my dad joke for later Dan you wanted to

[28:41] say as Dave Matthews once said what would you say I would say that I even

[28:48] though she's being coded very obviously as being a villainous true woman I I had

[28:57] a lot of sympathy for Katherine Heigl early in the movie because you know

[29:01] she's being replaced by a new woman in her old era whole her old life she's

[29:08] saying her daughter you know look to this new mother figure and I had a woman

[29:14] with I mean Rosario Dawson is rightfully so you know she's hesitant she has a

[29:20] mysterious past like she's not super comfortable sharing all that information

[29:24] with other people and if you're trusting this person to basically be a big part

[29:31] of your child's life I could see yeah nervous about it and I sort of sure I

[29:35] sort of like enjoy that the movie spent a little time sort of giving this

[29:41] villainous character a little depth yeah like you know a reason this is the kind

[29:52] of movie where that where the mother a mother sings Alouette to her daughter

[29:56] and it's presented as a chilling moment

[30:00] It's like, oh, this should be this should haunt your dreams till the end of your days.

[30:06] Is that more like upper class coding?

[30:08] It's just like, oh, this one knows French.

[30:10] She's no good. So, yeah, I would.

[30:13] Yeah, she is.

[30:13] This new woman's coming into life that she

[30:15] doesn't really know is going to be taking care of her daughter.

[30:18] And this woman, Rosario Dawson from San Francisco.

[30:20] Best case scenario, she's a full house.

[30:22] Worst case scenario, she's a Zodiac killer.

[30:25] Yeah, come on.

[30:27] So this so that, you know, this party goes on.

[30:32] Rosario Dawson is dancing with her, her

[30:35] fiance and Catherine Heigl, but she left her phone sitting on a table, which is

[30:40] crazy. Why are you doing it?

[30:42] Yeah. And she's receiving text messages from, I'm assuming, Whitney Cummings

[30:48] and the whole since there's since since no other human being has been established

[30:52] in the world in this movie, you have to assume it's Whitney Cummings.

[30:55] Yeah. And the she, of course, is getting the text

[30:59] messages and the whole text is popping up on the screen, which is crazy.

[31:03] Why you be doing that?

[31:06] Why don't you be doing that?

[31:08] Fix your phone.

[31:09] So Catherine Heigl sees these texts and realizes, oh, my God, they're engaged.

[31:13] They're going to get married.

[31:15] So she steals the phone and has sex with it, has angry sex with one of the guys who

[31:21] works there, some dude, but a stranger in a car in the rain.

[31:24] Yeah. And then she lets him out of it.

[31:27] She's having used and abused him.

[31:29] She lets him out in the rain, refuses to drive him anywhere and speeds off.

[31:34] She does. She dismounts and goes, go now.

[31:37] Yeah. And it's raining very hard for Southern California.

[31:41] I'll just say that right there.

[31:43] It's one of the rare sex monsoons that we have.

[31:46] When someone has angry sex in the car,

[31:48] huge rains, it does terrible damage to property.

[31:51] I don't know if you saw in the I don't know if you saw in the credits,

[31:54] but there's they snuck a little Easter egg in there for real fans.

[31:58] That actor, that character's real fans of what?

[32:01] Unforgettable. Yeah.

[32:02] The character's name is for the forgetta heads.

[32:05] Yeah. The character's name is Horace,

[32:08] which sounds a lot like horse because she rides them when angry.

[32:12] And I just made all that up.

[32:15] So his name is not Horace.

[32:18] I don't know. It was a joke.

[32:19] Come on, laugh a little.

[32:22] Live it up.

[32:23] I thought you were positing some sort

[32:24] of unforgettable Louis C.K. cinematic universe where that's Horace from Horace

[32:29] and Pete, Louis C.K.'s sadness show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[32:33] And unforgettable. Just as funny as Horace and Pete.

[32:36] Or he's Mickey's friend, Horace Horsefeather, the horse character.

[32:41] I thought his name was Horace Horsecollar.

[32:44] I think it's Horace Horsefeather, but we can look it up later.

[32:47] In either case, it's funny.

[32:49] Well, you know, just laugh. It's funny.

[32:51] Listeners, write in and weigh in on the Horsefeather-Horsecollar debate.

[32:55] Send in your questions.

[32:56] We'll be doing a live debate on CNN in three weeks and we'll be answering some

[33:00] of your questions about this. Oh, you're right, it is Horsecollar.

[33:03] I looked it up.

[33:04] Well, listeners, don't send in your questions.

[33:08] The debate is over. I won.

[33:10] Oh, yeah.

[33:11] I'm now the president of, I guess, through Disney characters.

[33:14] Elliot's dabbing over there.

[33:16] That's crazy.

[33:18] What?

[33:20] Oh, wow. You are a dab.

[33:21] Don't even worry. Yeah, I don't know what that means.

[33:23] What's that mean?

[33:25] Well, so she...

[33:28] The only thing, Stuart, the only thing I'm dabbing is paint onto this old car that

[33:33] I'm restoring in my garage because I'm a dad now.

[33:36] The only thing you're dabbing is barbecue sauce off of your, your what?

[33:41] The college sweater you're wearing?

[33:44] Like my my apron that says, kiss me.

[33:47] I'm Irish. And the joke is, I'm not Irish.

[33:49] No.

[33:51] So anyway, Katherine Heigl goes to one

[33:53] of my favorite things, which is a really fakie Internet search engine.

[33:57] She goes to backgroundprobe.com

[34:00] and she gets the password to Rosario Dawson's phone and links the phone

[34:05] to Rosario Dawson's computer. Now, guys, I don't want to I don't want

[34:08] to call you guys out right now, but do you guys ever use the digits from your

[34:13] birthday as a password?

[34:15] Because that seems crazy.

[34:18] Yeah, that does seem crazy.

[34:21] I don't really want to talk about what I use as my password.

[34:24] The digits on my birthday.

[34:26] OK, but so he does use the digits on his birthday.

[34:29] It seems like an obvious thing.

[34:31] My password is 123 Elliot.

[34:34] Oh, wow.

[34:36] You change your tune pretty quick, Elliot.

[34:40] Well, you know, that's just OK.

[34:42] Well, let me tell you what my password is for real.

[34:43] OK, my password is Fidelio Fidelio.

[34:49] Oh, so you know it already. Yeah.

[34:51] But Dan, what's the second password?

[34:54] There is no second password.

[34:56] Damn. OK, you got through my system.

[34:58] All right. Well, I guess.

[34:59] Welcome to my masked orgy.

[35:01] How's it going?

[35:02] Just the two of us, I guess.

[35:04] Yeah, I'm kind of waiting for other people to show up.

[35:06] I was glad that you guessed the passwords because I was getting pretty bored just

[35:10] sitting here naked in a mask eating Tostitos by myself.

[35:13] Yeah, I guess until anybody else shows up,

[35:16] we should just play some Parcheesi or something.

[35:19] Yeah, that is the sexiest of the board games.

[35:21] Yeah. Let's set it up.

[35:22] I don't know how to play it, but OK.

[35:24] Or you could just have some of these olives.

[35:27] There's just bowls of olives everywhere.

[35:28] That's a pretty sexy snack, right?

[35:30] Yeah. You eat it with your hands.

[35:31] And you can pretend it's witch's eyeballs.

[35:33] I mean, most snacks you eat with your hands.

[35:37] Yeah, I guess unless you're like unless you're bobbing for olives.

[35:41] Yeah,

[35:44] so it's either that's either incredibly difficult or incredibly easy.

[35:48] Depends on the olives to water ratio.

[35:50] Yes. The brine really gets in your eyes.

[35:53] The traditional summer time game bobbing for olives.

[35:58] Now, the hard part, too, is when you're

[36:00] bobbing for the olives, your mask keeps slipping off.

[36:02] So I've learned your identity at the secret elitist orgy.

[36:07] But Dan, you guess the password.

[36:08] So I guess you go first, take off your clothes and start bobbing for olives.

[36:11] OK, so I love when they I love when they pop open.

[36:15] I love it when they pop open Rosario Dawson's phone.

[36:19] She just has all of her important documents.

[36:23] Yeah, she has her documents on her phone somehow.

[36:26] Like, do you guys do that?

[36:28] Am I doing being an adult wrong? Yeah.

[36:31] Like right now I need to keep it all in one place.

[36:34] I need to get a new watch band for a watch that I love.

[36:38] And I don't know how to do that.

[36:41] So what do I do?

[36:43] There's like a nice like watch repair shop on Vanderbilt, actually,

[36:47] that probably could hook you right up, but guys, oh, wow, right there.

[36:53] Local Brooklyn promotion of local Brooklyn businesses.

[36:58] Let's save it for your podcast Clockers,

[37:00] which is all about local watch repair shops.

[37:05] And we'll go on to or your other podcast,

[37:08] The Built Boys, where you talk about businesses on Vanderbilt in Brooklyn.

[37:12] Let's talk about that later.

[37:13] Now, Clockers is different than Clockstoppers,

[37:16] my podcast where I just talk about the movie Clockstoppers.

[37:19] Yeah, very different.

[37:21] Now, Catherine Heigl finds a selfie of Rosario Dawson in bed with her fiancee

[37:26] and she reacts to it physically like it shakes her to the core.

[37:31] So no wonder that she looks up this abusive ex-boyfriend on Facebook

[37:36] and then contacts him pretending to be Rosario Dawson.

[37:42] I was watching this with I was watching

[37:44] this with Charlene and she was talking to the movie at this point.

[37:48] She's like, don't do that.

[37:52] She's going to connect to him on Facebook,

[37:54] which is a really weird option to have in that background check website.

[37:59] I mean, I guess if you're using that that background check, what background?

[38:03] What's the fucking name of the website?

[38:04] Probe dot com. Yeah.

[38:06] I guess if you're using background probe dot com as a way to, like,

[38:10] find old like people you went to like high school with that for some reason

[38:14] you didn't immediately just go to Facebook for a.

[38:18] I guess I see why you would have a connect

[38:21] to this person on Facebook hot link on that page.

[38:24] But that's another thing about the movie

[38:26] that actually makes a lot of sense when we dig into it.

[38:28] Yeah.

[38:30] Yeah, I guess it's like a steel trap, it's so tight.

[38:33] So anyway, Catherine Heigl is setting things up.

[38:37] She Catherine Heigl's mom comes to visit and she's played by Cheryl Ladd.

[38:41] And she is you see where Catherine Heigl

[38:43] comes from, because she is a kind of brittly, critical, blonde wealth bot.

[38:48] Yeah, like she is she is to Catherine Heigl what Catherine Heigl is to a normal

[38:53] person, like it's just it's exponentially

[38:58] more critical and emotionless and wealthy and blonde.

[39:02] And she must ride like seven horses at once.

[39:06] That's what I get from this.

[39:07] Or maybe she rides like a giraffe.

[39:09] I don't know. I had to I had to slam.

[39:11] I had to slam on the pause button and then go to information on this movie

[39:17] because for a second I thought, did somebody did the TV just change

[39:21] to the movie The Granny, which is a horror movie about an evil monster granny?

[39:27] But you know what?

[39:28] No, I was actually watching the movie

[39:30] Unforgettable, which is what we're talking about today.

[39:33] Fascinating tale, glad you spun that yarn for us.

[39:37] So her mom is she's Catherine Heigl says,

[39:41] I think I'm going to have to get a job.

[39:42] And her mom's like, no, you don't.

[39:43] You should just get a new David.

[39:45] You ruined your last marriage.

[39:46] You have to get a new one.

[39:47] And Catherine Heigl sadly watches her

[39:50] wedding video as she overhears her mother criticizing her daughter.

[39:54] And it's like and it's another moment where you're like, OK,

[39:56] now I kind of sympathize with Catherine Heigl like she's she wasn't.

[40:00] on a monster she was made a monster yes you know what

[40:03] i have sympathy for this devil

[40:04] who who

[40:05] uh... wow

[40:07] yes i was always a lot of it

[40:10] uh... and uh...

[40:12] rosario dawson meets with some of her fiance's uh... friends and they all

[40:18] talk about how

[40:19] they like coming over the house now that

[40:21] uh... kathryn heigl doesn't live there because before

[40:24] when they would come over

[40:26] they'd always have to be

[40:27] walking on eggshells

[40:30] what this is a

[40:31] what was the music parody of walking in memphis

[40:37] i would have gone to

[40:38] walking on broken glass

[40:41] uh... i guess

[40:42] i mean that's not my range

[40:45] uh... dan what song about walking would you have used

[40:48] unlike when you sang it where you were pitch perfect on that pitch

[40:52] because you also could have gone

[40:53] i'm walking on eggshells

[40:57] and don't it feel bad

[40:58] that's just a good song parody

[41:02] i go out walking on some eggshells

[41:04] after midnight

[41:06] no wait but guys

[41:09] but i'm walking on eggshells

[41:13] wait what is that

[41:14] that's walking in memphis again

[41:19] okay you know what i don't recognize the song once shame on you don't recognize the song twice

[41:24] shame on me that's on us

[41:27] oh man okay walk like you're on eggshells

[41:32] there's a lot of walking songs

[41:35] i guess we do it a lot as a human being it's a common human experience

[41:41] so we now cut to a scene where there's a lot of songs about love why is that

[41:46] i mean we don't sing a lot of songs about breathing other than the air that i breathe

[41:52] and every breath you take

[41:54] okay that's true

[41:55] and uh... what's that what breathe by pink floyd

[41:58] all right

[41:59] but there's not a lot of songs about pooping why is that

[42:02] uh... let me introduce you to a bunch of heavy metal songs

[42:07] there is a youtube video where a little girl sings a parody of let it go

[42:11] called let me poop

[42:13] and there's a new verse for every verse

[42:17] she really goes all out with it

[42:18] so uh... if you want to hear a song about poop that's one

[42:22] uh... so

[42:23] is this when we learn that katherine heigl actually cheated on her

[42:28] husband david and that's why the marriage broke up

[42:32] yeah it's somewhere around here is that when they go to that mexican restaurant that is very well appointed

[42:37] oh maybe that's earlier yeah i can't remember

[42:40] katherine heigl has lunch with rosario dawson at a mexican restaurant where i think they both just have like

[42:45] green salads

[42:46] and by green salads you mean a ton of margaritas baby

[42:52] yeah well they are

[42:53] ladies buying expensive dresses in the middle of the day with nothing to do

[42:56] and uh... i couldn't take my eyes off of the statues in this restaurant like

[43:02] there's all these sombreros and like

[43:04] like sleepy guys wearing sombrero statues from the restaurant it's really great

[43:09] so it's called pj racist is what you're saying

[43:13] yeah i mean i don't know it's in southern california

[43:17] isn't there a lot of great mexican food in southern california yeah i'm sure

[43:20] there is they tend not to have sleepy sombrero statues in the restaurants though

[43:25] i've only been here for a few months maybe i haven't been to most of the

[43:29] restaurants i mean this seems like a pretty affluent white town like i feel

[43:34] like most of their restaurants are racist caricatures i have to assume this is my

[43:38] back story for that restaurant much like

[43:40] uh... david the fiance quit his job to open a brewery

[43:45] there was some young stockbroker who now he's not young anymore now he's

[43:48] approaching forty or in his early forties

[43:51] he's like i always wanted to open a mexican restaurant

[43:53] but he doesn't know anything about mexico or mexican food

[43:56] so he fills it full of sombreros and they just serve like hot dogs and salads

[44:00] they call it

[44:02] mexican food because you can have a margarita with it

[44:05] yeah technically if they get taken to kids court they can prove it

[44:10] it's called the name of it is jose tequila shots and that's the mexican

[44:14] restaurant in town

[44:15] so around this time

[44:16] around this time we're introduced to the idea that uh... rosario dawson is

[44:20] obviously freaking out somebody uh... she's missing her engagement ring

[44:25] she's getting a lot of anonymous phone calls and her engagement ring is missing

[44:28] and we also see a mysterious

[44:31] begloved person uh... steal into the home while rosario dawson's about to

[44:36] take a bath

[44:37] in the middle of the day

[44:39] i don't know what her lifestyle's like dude

[44:41] sometimes you just need a bath

[44:43] she's super stressed out she almost goes back to smoking

[44:48] cigarettes which is a sign of being stressed out

[44:51] haven't you taken a shower in the middle of the day you know where you're just like

[44:55] the morning has gotten away from you you're just like

[44:59] slobbering around the house you know

[45:02] so here's the setup dan was eating a big bowl of chili

[45:06] and got all over himself and he's like

[45:10] i can't go out tonight covered in chili i might as well take a shower

[45:14] okay fair point he had it all in his hair

[45:17] i'm a real chili boy

[45:22] dan that's the dating type that you are that you list on dating websites

[45:28] i'm a real chili boy looking for a single woman

[45:31] i'm spicy and messy i'm a real chili boy

[45:35] looking for somebody who can sop me up

[45:37] oh gross so rosario dawson almost smokes cigarettes

[45:43] but we also see cut to katherine heigl when she's in her like evil lair using

[45:47] the computer

[45:48] and she's vaping it up because she's a bad guy or she's just

[45:52] really fancy and refined right

[45:54] is that what vape is code for

[45:57] code it's code for fancy and refined like java the hut the original vapor

[46:01] sure i would like to say i would like to think that like there's pot in there

[46:05] and like she's a secretly like a pothead

[46:07] i mean maybe it's you know the socal lifestyle

[46:11] yeah sure but you'd think she wouldn't be so uptight yeah i know but that was

[46:15] a constant pothead that's the thing like she has the kind she

[46:17] just keeps getting the kind of pot that gives you a lot of anxiety

[46:21] like she's got a really bad bizarro pot the kind of pot that they grow on

[46:24] bizarro world so was this when is this when we have the uh that

[46:29] that montage the weird sex montage where rosario dawson

[46:33] has sex with her fiancee in a ladies room

[46:37] that's a little bit later let's well we'll quickly get to that uh rosario

[46:40] dawson is bonding more and more with her future stepdaughter

[46:43] uh she's having nightmares about her abusive ex-boyfriend

[46:46] uh that scene where she was going to have a bath that ends with her finding

[46:49] flowers from a serious stranger on the front door

[46:52] and she has a very hostile interaction with

[46:55] uh katherine heigl who yeah stops by to drop off some mail

[46:58] also uh unmotivated body double butt alert

[47:02] and that scene too what do you check that out on mr scan no i remember it

[47:06] from the fucking movie i watched the movie unforgettable

[47:10] and i noted the unmotivated body double butt shot

[47:14] okay how do you know it wasn't uh how do you know it wasn't rosario dawson is not

[47:18] gonna get naked for unforgettable okay he did for that uh for that danny

[47:22] boyle movie right yeah but danny boyle is danny boyle wow

[47:26] harsh critique of danny boyle from elliott

[47:31] uh so anyway uh katherine heigl spends forever making a fake

[47:34] rosario dawson facebook page and chatting with the abusive ex-boyfriend

[47:38] really getting him turned on sending her coy rosario dawson pictures she stole

[47:42] from from her phone i was kind of hoping it would turn into

[47:44] like a weird episode of that show catfish at this point

[47:48] that's when they have their lunch at the mexican restaurant katherine heigl says

[47:51] i had an affair that ruined the marriage i have in my notes here they

[47:54] have huge drinks and katherine heigl says the problem is

[47:58] that david her ex-husband and rosario dawson is

[48:01] sexually insatiable i thought we might get back together but

[48:04] we didn't and she's he just always needs sex

[48:07] and uh she goes home and katherine heigl goes home and mails a pair of rosario

[48:11] dawson's underpants to the abusive ex-boyfriend and a key

[48:15] to the house yes rosario dawson is under such stress

[48:19] right now that at the local carnival she loses the daughter for a split

[48:24] second she turns her back thinking she's being

[48:27] followed the daughter has run off and this is to be honest if i entrusted

[48:31] my son to somebody and i showed up i was like where's sammy

[48:34] and they're like oh uh i lost him i would be fucking pissed

[48:37] like i'd be so mad but david starts doubting rosario dawson's

[48:42] sanity like he just yeah i mean much about her past he's keeping mind of this

[48:46] this is a carnival where every person is either

[48:49] covered in face paint or wearing a hat so like

[48:52] yeah it's like some kind of nightmare hellscape

[48:56] it's your it's a basic carnival yeah everyone's

[48:59] it's all terrifying uh rosario dawson and katherine heigl have a fight over

[49:03] the daughter while uh well katherine heigl is forcing

[49:06] the daughter to ride a horse she's trying to force her into that

[49:09] mean ice queen lifestyle the daughter just doesn't want it

[49:13] the daughter chooses rosario dawson in front of the grandma

[49:17] shaming katherine heigl particularly and it's like

[49:20] oh damn now it's gonna get really bad here is when we get now we've caught up

[49:24] to the scene so it was talking about it's an investment dinner

[49:27] with investors of the brewery yeah and rosario dawson seems to go into a

[49:31] fugue state obsessing over katherine heigl's former sex life

[49:35] and she pulls her fiance into a bathroom and

[49:38] they have incredibly intense sex that neither of them seem to enjoy

[49:42] very much they're just smashing furniture over and stuff yeah slamming

[49:46] into walls and the looks on their faces are like

[49:48] both of them thinks the other one wants to do this but neither of them want to

[49:51] so they just look really grim and upset the whole time yeah terrible

[49:55] and it's this is intercut with shots of katherine heigl

[50:00] having

[50:01] uh... what like

[50:04] chat sex with... it's called cyber sex too

[50:08] she's cybering with the ex-boyfriend so she's cybering with the ex-boyfriend

[50:12] while pretending to be Rosario Dawson while

[50:17] pleasuring herself

[50:19] uh...

[50:19] and yeah it's just a whole sad scene

[50:21] uh... which was made more enjoyable by watching it with my wife who kept

[50:25] complaining that

[50:26] you don't get to see the guy's butt

[50:31] here's the thing about this scene this movie up to this point

[50:35] is kind of like

[50:37] is kind of

[50:38] halfway dull halfway has potential to be a crazy movie and i feel like it's this

[50:43] scene where the movie is just like

[50:45] fuck it we're going all the way this is a crazy movie and you have this

[50:49] like double terrible sex scene

[50:52] where Rosario Dawson and her husband are

[50:55] engaging in this grim unenjoyable bathroom tryst where they're like

[51:00] tearing at each other it's almost like

[51:02] it like uh...

[51:04] they are they both hope that they're gonna wake up from this at any moment

[51:07] it's just gonna be a terrible dream that they had and Katherine Heigl is

[51:11] basically doing what happens in

[51:13] Showtime TV shows like the show or Cinemax TV shows

[51:17] uh... like it's that the movie's just like you know what why are we hiding

[51:21] anymore let's just be a crazy movie

[51:23] guys

[51:25] let's not pretend we're crazy

[51:28] yeah

[51:29] but a crazy movie that's unwilling to show this fellow's bottom

[51:35] it's crazy but that doesn't mean it has to be uh...

[51:38] vulgar

[51:38] it's a double-stranded man they should have shown Rosario Dawson's butt

[51:42] uh... you said it was a double Dan

[51:45] i'm using shorthand Elliot

[51:47] Rosario Dawson's character so you had mentioned that uh...

[51:51] we were expecting some kind of fallout from the

[51:55] uh... from the daughter shaming her mother in front of the grandmother

[51:59] right boy do we get it

[52:01] because uh... Katherine Heigl then uses this as an opportunity to cut her

[52:05] daughter's hair very short

[52:07] revealing

[52:08] that this little girl's either wearing a super bad wig at this point or the first

[52:12] hair was a super bad wig i can't tell which was which

[52:16] you don't think they shot the movie in sequence and actually cut her hair

[52:19] and dyed it

[52:21] because it's like she's a brunette at this point

[52:26] uh... yeah i mean that's that's possible that that's what happened

[52:28] uh... so which one do you think the wig came in

[52:32] it was always a wig i think it's a wig now i think i think that

[52:35] little girl has naturally very blonde hair

[52:38] so would you say that Katherine Heigl at this point is

[52:41] wigging out

[52:43] i mean i would say that yeah

[52:45] it's a dad joke again

[52:47] a joke from a dad so it's bad it's a dad joke so the little girl's got her hair cut

[52:52] and it's

[52:52] like a normal person's

[52:54] like slightly over the shoulder haircut but it's treated like you have just

[52:59] scarred this girl for life

[53:01] you've mutilated her yeah you took one of her fingers

[53:04] in the form of hair

[53:05] which will grow back

[53:07] and uh... that's introduced in a scene right before Rosario Dawson is backed up

[53:12] the stairs by Katherine Heigl and then when she gets to the top of the stairs

[53:16] she does a little bit of play acting

[53:20] and then falls down the stairs as if Rosario Dawson pushed her

[53:23] and everyone assumes Rosario Dawson did it clearly gives her the benefit of the doubt

[53:28] yeah this is one of

[53:30] my problems with movies like this is uh...

[53:33] you know these ostensibly loving relationships as soon as someone starts

[53:37] getting gas lit like

[53:39] the husband always like it's like

[53:42] immediately doubting the woman he's supposedly in love with

[53:45] idiot asshole like

[53:47] this is clearly the point where Rosario Dawson would go to him and say

[53:52] look dude your ex-wife is fucking with me

[53:56] deal with it she threw herself down the stairs

[53:59] he knows his ex-wife is crazy

[54:01] he doesn't like he knows that that's a thing does he

[54:05] like he's such an oblivious fucking moron

[54:08] that like he is like

[54:09] i don't want to get political again

[54:11] but this guy is like

[54:12] the movie embodiment of

[54:14] white male privilege

[54:15] where he just kind of

[54:16] he just kind of hovers through life and does whatever he wants

[54:20] never the fact that

[54:21] he has a daughter

[54:23] and his

[54:24] fiance comes in from san francisco and he immediately is like take care of my kid

[54:28] i gotta go do some shit

[54:29] like that's crazy

[54:31] he's like he never does anything

[54:33] yeah like does he just assume he's like

[54:35] yeah you know my ex-wife uh... yeah she's high she's got high standards or

[54:39] something like what

[54:42] she's clearly like he dated her since college right they don't look that young

[54:47] so he's been with her he's known her a long time

[54:51] i don't think they ever spent that much time together though

[54:54] it's one of those couples where they were always kind of like doing different things

[54:57] and they just kind of came together to have joyless bathroom sex at investor

[55:01] dinners

[55:01] and they had a daughter once and they were like ugh

[55:04] he's like now this is your job you take care of her

[55:07] i'm gonna go drink beer for a living

[55:09] and never shave

[55:10] anyway gotta go for that mountain hiking trip with my buds

[55:14] see ya

[55:15] hey honey

[55:17] can you can you take care of making all the food and doing all the shopping and

[55:21] buying the clothes for her

[55:22] because i'm spending a lot of time pricing out camping gear

[55:26] i mean i'd like i really need to get the best sleeping bag

[55:29] this feels like it's coming from a really real place inside

[55:34] as a heretofore

[55:36] uh... untapped my well of bitterness on elliot cahill's part

[55:40] you can go camping if you want it's okay it doesn't make you a bad dad

[55:45] dude you can go on a camping trip if you want

[55:47] i can't do it because it would make me a bad dad

[55:50] he seems like the kind of guy who spends a lot of his time

[55:52] talking to his friends about expensive

[55:54] things to buy

[55:56] either

[55:57] watches or suits or like sporting gear or like

[56:02] he's really into or he's really into sports but he like

[56:05] he likes to talk about the equipment

[56:07] more than anything else

[56:09] uh... anyway

[56:10] yeah it's the uh... he's like a lifestyle brand type guy

[56:14] he is like a walking lifestyle brand he's he like

[56:18] walked right out of a bonobos suit catalog

[56:21] like uh...

[56:23] or like a gq one of those pages where it's like what's the best type of

[56:26] fountain pen to buy something like that

[56:30] yeah you know he watches mad men and he's like

[56:32] uh... if only those were the days right and totally doesn't get what the show is

[56:36] about

[56:37] yeah i like to think of myself as a real don draper

[56:40] what an asshole anyway so he doesn't believe rosario dawson and it's this at

[56:43] this point that her voice gets more and more gravelly as the movie goes on and

[56:47] she gets sadder

[56:48] and it's like

[56:48] you can track where her psyche is by how much vocal fry she's

[56:53] and uh... this is where she brings in a little bit of reinforcements

[56:56] uh... her friend comes down from san francisco

[56:59] and uh... they do a little bit of

[57:01] uh... internet hackin

[57:03] that's right they start hacking the mainframe

[57:07] they ride the nexus into the uh... hyperloop and so she uh... they find

[57:13] of course

[57:15] katherine heigl's got a couple skeletons in her closet

[57:18] that she has

[57:20] what? what's a skeleton? a skeleton of a house

[57:22] she burned down

[57:23] she found out her dad was being unfaithful to her mom and she burned down her dad's

[57:26] house but she was a minor so the records were sealed yeah yeah we got sealed minor

[57:31] records i feel like

[57:32] sealed records of a minor is now like all-purpose thriller go-to like

[57:38] uh... plot device

[57:40] well it's so easy to look up somebody's background online now

[57:44] like it used to be that you could have a whole thriller and then at the end it

[57:47] turns out oh

[57:48] she spent time in an insane asylum i never knew that but now you just find

[57:52] that stuff really easily so it's got to be sealed records and while i found this

[57:56] movie's handling of something like this a little bit insensitive or seal records

[58:00] or seal records like kiss by a rose

[58:02] anyway dan i'm glad you made that joke

[58:04] i don't know if the name of the record is kiss by a rose i think that's just the song

[58:09] uh...

[58:10] the uh...

[58:13] the but i feel like i feel like this movie's a little bit insensitive with

[58:16] dealing with

[58:18] uh... a minor who

[58:20] is clearly the product of

[58:23] a bad

[58:24] situation

[58:25] and using that as incriminating evidence against her

[58:28] whereas on a show like crazy ex-girlfriend

[58:31] i still find uh... i still like the way that movie that show handles it

[58:35] which is has some eerily similar plot elements to unforgettable

[58:40] well i mean the tone is different and the crazy ex-girlfriend is

[58:44] is the protagonist of that show even though she's a sociopath

[58:48] and is performed by the uh... very charming uh... rachel bloom

[58:53] and those songs how many new songs do they have every episode it's amazing

[58:58] this this movie no songs yeah

[59:01] stewart wellington

[59:02] gives this movie one star in his review he says his review is two words

[59:07] no songs

[59:09] it's no crazy ex-girlfriend says stewart wellington gave the movie zanadu five

[59:14] stars he said lots of songs

[59:18] yeah i'm basically writing i'm writing movie reviews just so that amazon movie

[59:22] reviews will retweet me

[59:27] uh... now

[59:28] you wonder you're like how she should talk to david her fiancé about what

[59:33] she's just learned clearly he's on a business trip he'll deal with this

[59:36] katherine heigl situation later

[59:38] uh... honey i know you're being gas lit right now by my ex-wife

[59:42] i gotta go on this business trip so i'll see you later

[59:45] but then rosario dawson comes home one day from somewhere and who did she

[59:49] discover in her house

[59:51] her ex-boyfriend bum bum bum

[59:55] they have a confrontation she escapes by stabbing him in the leg

[59:58] she runs out

[1:00:00] Oh at this point that this guy's gonna die like this was in the opening of the movie

[1:00:04] Yeah, I'm opening the movie opening of the movie. I thought it was I thought it was unforgettable

[1:00:10] so I

[1:00:11] was a little nervous when this character showed up because I was a little nervous that this abusive boyfriend was gonna show up and just

[1:00:17] Get accidentally killed by Rosario Dawson like she had been so gaslit that she just killed him upon seeing him

[1:00:24] Yeah

[1:00:24] But luckily he's given a chance to be because I would have sent a fucked-up message that this abuser doesn't deserve

[1:00:30] You know

[1:00:32] Whatever happens to him kind of but luckily he is a fucking total asshole before he dies

[1:00:39] So, I don't know. Yeah, I was just alone

[1:00:42] I was just a little nervous that the movie was gonna try and say something like you know

[1:00:45] Who the real monster is not this abusive boyfriend, but Katherine Heigl, right?

[1:00:49] It was gonna be a real witch hunt for abusive boyfriends

[1:00:52] but no, he slams her into a wall and is a real real jackass, let's just say that and

[1:01:05] Really brave, yeah, he's being what is he? Let's just say he's a real he's a real piece of work. Yeah, what is he gonna go camping?

[1:01:15] She runs out and Katherine Heigl walks in and is like she's in full supervillain mode

[1:01:19] She's like, oh you ruined it. You screwed up and stabs him to death through the chest. Uh-huh. That's killing him

[1:01:27] Thank you. Yeah, she basically like hits the off switch on him. Like as soon as that knife goes in he's done. So

[1:01:35] And so she the police pick up Rosario Dawson because as a new person in town who is

[1:01:41] Not fully white. She's the first suspect has to be. Yeah, it's all the evidence is circumstantial

[1:01:47] So they can't hold her but they clearly think that she did it

[1:01:50] meanwhile, Katherine Heigl brushes her hair and puts her ring back on like an evil robot and

[1:01:57] Her fiance shows up to the police station the police give them give him all this the like

[1:02:05] messages that Katherine Heigl had been sending this guy and it makes it look like Rosario Dawson was grifting him and was gonna steal his

[1:02:13] money and then go back to her ex-boyfriend, uh-huh, the guy of course being an asshole totally believes it and

[1:02:20] They're like he is so gullible

[1:02:22] He believes it he goes back to Katherine Heigl's house where Katherine Heigl is burning the evidence and wearing the wedding ring

[1:02:31] He literally walks in on this and he's like

[1:02:34] Wait, I figured it out. Yeah

[1:02:37] It's not like yeah, like Katherine Heigl herself is the evidence

[1:02:41] He's such a dumbass like I hate this guy so much that he figures everything out by walking in on it

[1:02:49] Yeah, good work. Good work, Quarro

[1:02:51] Like that's the only way that he's gonna believe that Rosario Dawson isn't a bad guy is by walking in on the evidence

[1:02:58] I it's I'm surprised

[1:03:00] They just didn't have him walking on in on her stabbing the the ex-boyfriend and then was like babe. What's going on? Huh?

[1:03:06] What's happening? This guy giving you trouble like and she would have to be like, I'm a I'm an evil person

[1:03:13] Framing your fiance for murder. I killed this man. He'd be like, but what's going on, babe?

[1:03:18] It's like what's like moms, you know moms get worked up

[1:03:22] That's all I'm saying moms care about their kids. Is this like a period thing? Is that what's going on?

[1:03:27] Cuz I don't need to know about that

[1:03:30] Wow

[1:03:31] That's the kind of stuff they Wow

[1:03:34] Elliot's impression of this jerk really got under Dan's skin

[1:03:38] Even even putting that in like the voice of another person like disturbed

[1:03:45] That's the thing about real art Dana sometimes that uh, sometimes it sounds like Elliot's really cool, but I don't know yeah

[1:03:53] Just about reconfirming the things you already love Dan arts about challenging you and shaking up the world. Yeah

[1:04:00] So anyway, he walks in on her and Katherine Heigl's like Rosario Dawson is stealing my life and David's like I'm out of here

[1:04:08] And so Kevin Heigl, what can she do? She hits him in the head with a fire poker

[1:04:11] Yeah knocks him out like and fucks him. Oh, yeah. He is seriously injured like for a while

[1:04:16] I'm worried that this guy's dead like I was

[1:04:19] She could have caved his skull in. Yeah

[1:04:22] Yeah, cuz bloods coming out of every part of that head. Yeah

[1:04:26] Even this the hair follicles bloods just seeping out of yeah, not like he's got scurvy or whatever. Yeah, his eyeballs are bleeding

[1:04:35] What if it was that what it was the case that she actually missed him?

[1:04:37] But he had scurvy and it was at that point that he passed out

[1:04:41] Yeah

[1:04:43] Is that he drinks beer all day? I don't know what kind of vitamin C. He's getting out of that beer

[1:04:47] I mean, I think I like you could probably survive off beer for a while. Maybe he's drinking

[1:04:53] You know like a wheat beer so they're putting orange slices in there he's getting some vitamin C

[1:04:57] Yeah, or maybe he's drinking or maybe he's drinking Guinness back when they still used a fish bladders before it was vegan

[1:05:06] Fish bladders. Yeah, they use like fish bladders for some shit for a while. I'm not I'm not making this up

[1:05:11] You can't make this stuff up. Yeah, it's true. The truth is stranger than fiction Dan literally

[1:05:15] Well, they strain the beer

[1:05:18] Yeah, I think one fiction that's stranger than truth name one stranger than fiction

[1:05:24] Okay, good point. Okay hosted me on my petard on that one

[1:05:29] Well that it was so obvious Elliot like it's it makes sense that you would overlook it. I didn't think he was gonna

[1:05:34] Yeah, it was like the purloined letter just hiding in plain sight. So okay, so Rosario Dawson sneaks in splinter cell style and

[1:05:41] She avoid she avoids the patrolling enemy of Katherine Heigl

[1:05:46] She finds he gets the daughter really and puts her in the car

[1:05:49] Which I kind of like I like that her first

[1:05:52] Her first instinct is I got to get the little kid out of here because shit's gonna go down

[1:05:56] Yeah, yeah, and also because worst-case scenario. She has a great daughter instead of a crappy husband

[1:06:03] Yeah, and I mean don't work at this point. She's like, I don't want this little girl to see me beat the shit out of her

[1:06:09] Mom, yeah

[1:06:15] Anyway

[1:06:17] That's pretty surprising

[1:06:20] Anyway

[1:06:21] Rosario Dawson, so meanwhile, Katherine Heigl makes some tea and then tapes up David's mouth and hands and Rosario Dawson's trying to call

[1:06:28] 9-1-1 and

[1:06:30] Katherine I was like nope and rips the phone out of the wall and then hits Rosario Dawson with the fire poker

[1:06:35] And she gives a speech about how you're worthless. You're worthless. You're trying to steal my life

[1:06:39] and at this point the whole time she's holding her up against the wall with this fire poker and I'm like

[1:06:45] You know, that's not a sword, right? You could just grab it

[1:06:48] You should just push it. It's not sharp. Just if you grab on to it, it's fine

[1:06:53] Like then she won't be able to swing it at you

[1:06:57] Well, but at this point Rosario Dawson's been broken down to the basic fundamental elements of her personality

[1:07:02] She shattered and she's hitting rock bottom and it's that rock bottom that she's able to push off of yeah

[1:07:08] She gets her berserker strength and goes I want my life not yours pushes her away

[1:07:13] They're grappling they're shoving each other. They break a lot of nice stuff. They're knocking vases over

[1:07:18] It's just like that bathroom sex scene except now it's fighting

[1:07:20] But they actually seem to enjoy it a lot more than than they did in the bathroom

[1:07:24] So yeah, and they're like choking each other. They're scratching each other. They're smashing Katherine Heigl's head into a glass frame

[1:07:30] Yeah, that was wild. Yeah, like this is um, this is not even a catfight. This is like a saber-toothed tiger fight

[1:07:35] Like it's crazy

[1:07:37] Yeah, I finally I bet it's fun for the actresses to

[1:07:41] To do that. I bet that that's a fun scene to do what to do like physical stuff

[1:07:45] Yeah, like yeah, like an all-out drag-out fight like that. I

[1:07:48] Mean, I would imagine it's fun to yeah

[1:07:50] I don't know like is are you talking like how like military guys talk about that?

[1:07:55] Like, you know, they might not like the act of violence, but like they're trained for it

[1:08:00] So they might as well like the act of being able to use what they're trained for. Yeah, really

[1:08:04] Catherine Heigl is trained for this kind of violence

[1:08:08] Well, I mean, I'm sure she took like first age combat

[1:08:12] She was personally taught by gremlin battler. Yeah. Yeah on the on the set of the ugly truth

[1:08:16] He was like listen, you might hopefully you'll never have to use these skills to battle a gremlin or Rosario Dawson

[1:08:23] Teach him to you. And while she was shooting this movie, it was like, oh my training is coming

[1:08:27] It was just like in a in Karate Kid. She's like Gerard Butler. Why do I have to wax your car?

[1:08:32] You're gonna learn from it. Trust me. And then while she's fighting Rosario Dawson, she's like, oh

[1:08:36] I'm using my waxing hand motions to fight it fight her off in this stage combat. This is amazing

[1:08:41] Yeah, she's like gremlin battler. Why are you always making me make fire fires in your fireplace with this fireplace poker?

[1:08:48] Yeah, you'll see

[1:08:53] Eventually Rosario Dawson it manages to knock Catherine Heigl out

[1:08:56] And there's she moves to another room and they have the most incredibly lazy villain returns from seeming

[1:09:03] Destruction thing vanquishment where Catherine Heigl just walks back into the room very casually

[1:09:09] Yeah

[1:09:09] Like it's like a the moment in every horror movie where you thought they defeated the bad guy

[1:09:13] But then the bad guy comes back here. It's literally like

[1:09:17] Catherine Heigl walks into the room as if to be like is the movie over yet. Are we done? Oh, I mean

[1:09:21] Oh, I'm a bad guy now

[1:09:23] It just is very lazy

[1:09:25] But then Catherine Heigl sees herself in a mirror with scratches on her face her her perfect face has been ruined

[1:09:31] She's not perfect like mommy anymore

[1:09:34] Yeah, exactly and she looks in the in the reflection says why do you always ruin everything and she's got a knife in her head now

[1:09:40] She's reached rock bottom. She's looking at herself in the mirror. And you know what? She doesn't like what she sees

[1:09:45] Rosario Dawson is holding a knife that she's taken from Catherine Heigl and Catherine Heigl

[1:09:50] Like a Greek tragic hero of old or a samurai having failed her master which in this case is her perfect mommy

[1:09:56] Walks onto the knife impaling herself. She's

[1:10:00] And she says, don't let my daughter remember me like this or something, right?

[1:10:05] Yeah, she's like, don't tell my daughter that I did this or something.

[1:10:08] She's like, at last the nightmare is over.

[1:10:11] I wish she had impaled herself and been like, free at last, and then died.

[1:10:17] Yeah, the curse dies with me, yeah.

[1:10:20] I'm not sure how they're going to keep this from the daughter.

[1:10:23] I mean, the fact that she's dead of a knife wound from…

[1:10:28] Oh no, they're going to pull a Weekend at Bernie's and it's just, mommy stopped by, marionetting her dead body around.

[1:10:34] But this is also the point of the movie where I'm just like, I was actually getting legitimately worried about what was happening in the movie.

[1:10:41] Because Katherine Heigl walked onto a knife that Rosario Dawson was holding.

[1:10:46] And the police already think that Rosario Dawson is a bad guy.

[1:10:51] We don't know what that guy's brain is going to be like.

[1:10:55] I was like, you better pray that that guy does not die because he is the only witness that could corroborate your version of events at this point.

[1:11:03] To be honest, if that's the way the movie ended, here's the better ending of this movie.

[1:11:07] Where the police show up.

[1:11:09] Better ending story.

[1:11:11] What?

[1:11:12] I said better ending story.

[1:11:14] Yeah, just like the hit film The Better Ending Story.

[1:11:17] Where a kid reads a novel and he's like, this novel didn't end very well.

[1:11:21] Let's put a luck dragon in there.

[1:11:23] Yeah, let's have the Rockbiter drive his fucking big wheel through.

[1:11:26] And you're a superstar.

[1:11:28] Yeah, I like it.

[1:11:30] I'm glad that your better ending is Roseanne.

[1:11:34] Yeah.

[1:11:35] The what?

[1:11:36] Your better ending is Roseanne, is what I said.

[1:11:39] Curse this technology that we're using.

[1:11:44] So the way it ends is cut to after the wedding.

[1:11:48] They live in San Francisco now.

[1:11:50] Everybody's happy.

[1:11:51] Whitney Cummings brings in donuts.

[1:11:53] And then Katherine Heigl's mom shows up.

[1:11:56] Uh-oh, and she brought a gift basket too.

[1:11:59] That's the scary part.

[1:12:00] She fucking turns to the camera and her fucking eyes turn into cat's eyes.

[1:12:06] She turns into, what's her name from Pee-wee's Big Adventure?

[1:12:10] What's the trucker lady's name?

[1:12:11] Large Marge.

[1:12:13] How do you not?

[1:12:14] That's like the easiest.

[1:12:16] Large Marge is the easiest name to remember.

[1:12:21] I wanted to say Big Bertha, but I knew that wasn't it.

[1:12:24] Here's the ending the way it should have ended.

[1:12:26] The police show up.

[1:12:27] They see Rosario Dawson's fingerprints on this knife.

[1:12:30] Rosario Dawson they think already killed her ex-boyfriend.

[1:12:33] Rosario Dawson's fingerprints on the fire poker because she was struggling with it.

[1:12:37] She knows, and they're like, clearly, Katherine Heigl discovered what you wanted,

[1:12:41] what you were trying to do in destroying this family, and you killed everybody.

[1:12:44] No, it wasn't me.

[1:12:45] It wasn't me.

[1:12:46] She shows up, and they take her away.

[1:12:48] Then the grandma comes by, takes the girl, and says,

[1:12:52] well, I'm going to raise you right from now on.

[1:12:54] Cut to the sequel, Unforgettable 2, where the grandma's the bad guy.

[1:12:59] But no, they didn't do that.

[1:13:01] Instead, they still have a grandma coming by, I guess setting it up for the sequel,

[1:13:05] Unforgettable 2, granny's in town.

[1:13:07] But everybody's living the life great in San Francisco, so I don't know.

[1:13:12] Everywhere you look, there's a smile.

[1:13:14] That's San Francisco.

[1:13:17] But it's so funny how the movie was just like, everything's okay, right?

[1:13:25] No, it's not.

[1:13:26] And you as the viewer are like, I know it's not okay, because if it was,

[1:13:29] the movie would be over.

[1:13:30] It's just like at the end of Casino Royale where Daniel Craig and his girlfriend

[1:13:34] are just jet-setting around, and you're like, I know it's going to turn out

[1:13:38] there's a problem, because otherwise the movie would be over.

[1:13:42] You wouldn't be spending five to ten minutes showing me them having a great time.

[1:13:45] That's not what movies do.

[1:13:47] Yeah, it's like at the end of Red Dead Redemption where you're like,

[1:13:50] I guess I'm just going to go hang out with my family now that I beat all the bad guys.

[1:13:55] Spoiler alert.

[1:13:56] I mean, it's an old game, but man.

[1:13:59] I guess I'll just teach my son how to go hunting.

[1:14:02] Nothing bad could ever happen.

[1:14:04] Yeah.

[1:14:05] All right.

[1:14:06] We've gone way, way, way long on this, so let's quickly do five.

[1:14:09] It turns out we didn't forget that much.

[1:14:11] Yeah.

[1:14:12] Let's do final judgments whether this is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie,

[1:14:15] or a movie we kind of liked.

[1:14:17] Stuart, what do you think?

[1:14:18] I don't think this is necessarily a good, bad movie, because it's not inept,

[1:14:22] and I don't think there's a lot to laugh at.

[1:14:25] I also don't necessarily like – I guess it's closer to a bad, bad movie

[1:14:29] than to a movie I kind of liked, but I thought it was all right.

[1:14:34] It was better than I expected it to be, if that's anything.

[1:14:39] Yeah.

[1:14:40] In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't the worst one of these we've watched.

[1:14:44] I'm going to qualify it as good, bad.

[1:14:48] It's not quite right.

[1:14:50] It's not like laughably bad, like you're going to have fun drinking beers

[1:14:54] and making fun of it with pals or something like that,

[1:14:57] but it's like one of those Lifetime Network movies,

[1:15:01] but a big-budget, big-stars version of that,

[1:15:06] and there's something strangely compelling about that shit.

[1:15:09] The campiness is kind of fun.

[1:15:11] So I actually kind of enjoyed watching it.

[1:15:14] Yeah, the more it leans into the campiness is the best stuff.

[1:15:18] Yeah.

[1:15:19] Yeah, I would also call it a qualified good, bad movie.

[1:15:22] Like you're saying, it moves a little too slowly to be like a

[1:15:25] pop it in and rag on it type of thing,

[1:15:28] but it does get crazy, and it is super tawdry.

[1:15:33] So I would call it a good, bad movie.

[1:15:43] Oh, sorry about that.

[1:15:45] Just had to dispatch some goons real quick.

[1:15:47] Hi, I'm April Wolf, lead film critic at LA Weekly,

[1:15:50] and when I'm not kicking butt,

[1:15:52] I'm hosting the new Maximum Fun podcast, Switchblade Sisters.

[1:15:55] Do you love genre films?

[1:15:57] Do you love female filmmakers?

[1:15:59] Do you love discussions on craft?

[1:16:01] If your answer is yes, you'll love Switchblade Sisters.

[1:16:03] Every episode, I invite one female filmmaker on,

[1:16:06] and we talk in depth about their fave genre film

[1:16:09] and how it influenced their own work.

[1:16:11] So we're talking horror, action, sci-fi, fantasy,

[1:16:14] bizarro, and exploitation cinema.

[1:16:16] Mothers, lock up your sons,

[1:16:18] because the Switchblade Sisters are coming for you.

[1:16:20] Available at MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

[1:16:50] Like how we did with the ugly history of the Texas Rangers.

[1:16:52] But we always lighten the mood with a splash of pop culture.

[1:16:56] Olivia Pope's new wig. Have you seen that?

[1:16:58] It's poppin'.

[1:16:59] Just like your lip gloss.

[1:17:00] And Janet Jackson.

[1:17:01] And you know we like to put our nerd glasses on

[1:17:04] and talk about things like Marvel.

[1:17:07] It's true. That's it.

[1:17:09] I don't speak about TC.

[1:17:11] But you just did.

[1:17:13] All from a perspective that's black, queer,

[1:17:15] and ladylike.

[1:17:17] So come on over and learn, laugh, and play,

[1:17:19] and join the corner. It's a lot of fun.

[1:17:21] I'm having fun right now.

[1:17:25] Minority Corner.

[1:17:27] So, we have got multiple sponsors for the podcast.

[1:17:32] Yay!

[1:17:33] Today.

[1:17:34] Keeping the lights on.

[1:17:35] What's that ringing noise that I hear on your end of the...

[1:17:40] Oh, that's just water going through the pipes.

[1:17:42] Oh, okay.

[1:17:43] I think.

[1:17:44] Did it turn off just then?

[1:17:46] Yeah, it just turned off.

[1:17:47] Yeah, that was water going through the pipes.

[1:17:49] Yeah, it sounded almost like a doorbell or something.

[1:17:52] It was not.

[1:17:54] I actually don't have a doorbell.

[1:17:56] Fascinating stuff for the podcast.

[1:17:58] You don't have a doorbell?

[1:17:59] How do people announce their arrival?

[1:18:00] Do you have a herald?

[1:18:02] Yes, I have a herald named Harold,

[1:18:05] who stands outside.

[1:18:07] He says, let me tell everybody.

[1:18:09] Hey!

[1:18:10] Hey you!

[1:18:11] The food's here!

[1:18:13] Hey!

[1:18:14] And I'm like, oh, okay, thanks.

[1:18:16] Speaking of food, Blue Apron.

[1:18:20] Oh, what a pro.

[1:18:21] What a pro.

[1:18:23] Blue Apron is the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country.

[1:18:27] How it works is you get a box full of fresh ingredients

[1:18:30] sent directly to your home,

[1:18:32] portioned out perfectly

[1:18:34] with instructions on how to make

[1:18:36] like three recipes.

[1:18:40] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:18:41] Go on.

[1:18:42] And you have them for food.

[1:18:43] You eat them for your meals.

[1:18:45] Yeah, so if...

[1:18:46] Have them for food.

[1:18:47] Yeah.

[1:18:48] My wife and I, I mentioned this before,

[1:18:50] my wife and I make Blue Apron kind of regularly,

[1:18:53] and yeah, we dig it.

[1:18:55] It's nice to get a lot of all your ingredients

[1:18:58] not having to go to the store and pick out,

[1:19:01] I don't know,

[1:19:02] end up buying way more than what you're going to need,

[1:19:05] and I also...

[1:19:06] You don't end up with like a whole package of xanthan gum.

[1:19:09] Yeah, exactly.

[1:19:10] You're never going to use it again.

[1:19:11] What do you do with all this xanthan gum?

[1:19:13] And the...

[1:19:14] I also like that they portion out the meals a little better

[1:19:17] because I know when I cook at home,

[1:19:19] I'm like,

[1:19:20] oh, there's...

[1:19:21] I'm going to have rice tonight.

[1:19:22] I'm going to have so much rice,

[1:19:23] you'll never...

[1:19:24] I can bury myself in all the rice I'm about to eat.

[1:19:28] But if they have specifically things like starches and stuff,

[1:19:32] they're a little bit more controlled with.

[1:19:35] You guys know.

[1:19:36] You guys know.

[1:19:37] The thing I hate most about cooking is the measuring.

[1:19:39] Yeah.

[1:19:40] I'm glad to have that taken out of my hands.

[1:19:42] I find that weird,

[1:19:43] but I'm glad that Blue Apron can solve that problem for you.

[1:19:46] When it says like,

[1:19:47] put in a pinch of this,

[1:19:48] and I'm like,

[1:19:49] my fingers aren't the same size as the person who wrote this,

[1:19:51] probably.

[1:19:52] My hands are small.

[1:19:53] They're not large like yours,

[1:19:54] as Jules said.

[1:19:55] It's like...

[1:19:56] Your hands are small,

[1:19:58] I know,

[1:19:59] but they're...

[1:20:00] Not yours, they are your own.

[1:20:02] What's that?

[1:20:03] It's a Tori Amos song, I think.

[1:20:06] No, it's Jewel.

[1:20:07] Jewel, that's right.

[1:20:09] Like I just said.

[1:20:10] The same, from the same time period of songs.

[1:20:16] Is this a fuckin' ad for Jewel or Blue Apron?

[1:20:18] It's an ad for Jewel Culture, new book of poetry.

[1:20:25] In stores now, I assume.

[1:20:26] Blue Apron's great,

[1:20:27] because you don't have to measure anything.

[1:20:28] You just dump it in out of the containers.

[1:20:30] Yeah.

[1:20:31] And then you get to do that fun thing

[1:20:33] where you slice open the cold packets

[1:20:36] and watch all the goop come out.

[1:20:38] Yeah.

[1:20:40] Cold goop.

[1:20:42] Well, listen, check out this week's menu

[1:20:45] and get $30 off your first meal with free shipping

[1:20:48] by going to blueapron.com slash flop house.

[1:20:52] You will love how good it feels and tastes

[1:20:54] to create incredible home-cooked meals with Blue Apron,

[1:20:57] so don't wait.

[1:20:58] That's blueapron.com slash flop house.

[1:21:02] Blue Apron, a better way to cook.

[1:21:04] We're also sponsored in part today by Casper,

[1:21:09] a sleep brand that is dedicated to creating

[1:21:11] an exceptionally comfortable sleep experience

[1:21:14] one night at a time.

[1:21:16] Their mattresses are affordable,

[1:21:18] because Casper sells directly to you, the consumer.

[1:21:23] Casper brand mattresses combine

[1:21:25] multiple supportive memory foams

[1:21:28] for a quality sleep service

[1:21:28] with the right amounts of both sink and bounce.

[1:21:32] And you can be sure of your purchase

[1:21:34] with Casper's 100-night risk-free sleep on it trial.

[1:21:39] So if you-

[1:21:40] It's so good.

[1:21:41] Yeah, you're doing really good.

[1:21:42] So if you don't like it, you can return it

[1:21:45] as long as it's not been 100 nights.

[1:21:50] So Dan, give us your Casper testimonial.

[1:21:52] You use a Casper mattress,

[1:21:53] and you said you sleep so well

[1:21:55] that ghosts can't wake you up,

[1:21:57] which I guess is why they call it Casper mattress.

[1:22:00] I sleep so well that Archie can't wake me up

[1:22:02] climbing over me as he does constantly during the evenings.

[1:22:07] But does it give you, when Archie's climbing all over you,

[1:22:10] do you have like really weird dreams?

[1:22:12] Yeah.

[1:22:13] Where you're like, I'm covered in spiders, or?

[1:22:18] I'm being-

[1:22:19] Did you ever dream a cat was walking on you,

[1:22:20] and when you woke up, your pillow was gone?

[1:22:24] That's right.

[1:22:24] I woke up and I was married to my pillow.

[1:22:27] It was weird.

[1:22:29] It's very weird.

[1:22:30] How would you find a pastor or a priest

[1:22:32] that would perform that ceremony?

[1:22:34] Elliot, you give someone enough money, they'll do anything.

[1:22:37] Hmm, interesting.

[1:22:40] I see the thought balloon forming above Elliot's head.

[1:22:43] Interesting.

[1:22:44] Start sleeping, I didn't mean that to be dirty.

[1:22:47] It sounded dirty.

[1:22:48] Yeah, you're gross.

[1:22:50] Start sleeping ahead of the curve with Casper.

[1:22:52] Get $50 toward any mattress purchase

[1:22:54] by visiting casper.com slash Flophouse,

[1:22:57] and using promo code FLOPHOUSE, all one word,

[1:23:01] at checkout, terms and conditions apply.

[1:23:04] And real quickly, we also have an ad from ZipRecruiter.

[1:23:10] Wow.

[1:23:11] So here's what I want everybody to do.

[1:23:12] First, go sign up for Blue Apron, get some food.

[1:23:15] Then, go sit on your Casper mattress to eat it,

[1:23:17] and then get ready to hire some people at ZipRecruiter.

[1:23:20] Dan, tell them all about it.

[1:23:22] What if hiring could be easier?

[1:23:23] Hiring, I assume, is pretty hard.

[1:23:25] Yeah, it's a pain in the ass.

[1:23:28] What if it could be easy, Stu?

[1:23:29] What if it could be more streamlined

[1:23:30] and less time-consuming?

[1:23:32] I love it.

[1:23:33] With ZipRecruiter, you can post your job

[1:23:34] to over 100 job boards with just one click.

[1:23:38] And ZipRecruiter doesn't depend

[1:23:39] on the right candidates finding you,

[1:23:42] it finds them a turnabout

[1:23:45] by actively notifying qualified candidates about your job.

[1:23:51] No wonder 80% of employers who post on ZipRecruiter

[1:23:54] get a quality candidate through the site in just one day.

[1:23:58] And right now, our listeners can post jobs

[1:24:00] on ZipRecruiter for free.

[1:24:02] Just go to ZipRecruiter.com slash Flophouse.

[1:24:05] That's ZipRecruiter.com slash Flophouse.

[1:24:09] I realize you could live a whole life

[1:24:11] using just the things that sponsored us today.

[1:24:15] Blue Apron, there's your meals taken care of.

[1:24:17] Casper mattress, there's your bed.

[1:24:20] Maybe your home, if you want to live

[1:24:21] in a tent made out of a mattress.

[1:24:23] Yeah, I mean, you might have that

[1:24:24] like Japanese minimalist lifestyle

[1:24:26] where everything serves multiple purposes in your home.

[1:24:29] And you only keep those things that give you joy.

[1:24:31] Yeah, yeah, like Casper's and Blue Aprons.

[1:24:34] Ironically, not a DVD of the movie Joy,

[1:24:36] which gave no one any joy.

[1:24:38] Throw it away.

[1:24:40] And then ZipRecruiter, it's like,

[1:24:42] hey, I need a job to afford this fancy Blue Apron,

[1:24:44] Casper mattress lifestyle.

[1:24:46] Maybe I'll hire somebody and then they'll hire me.

[1:24:48] And you go to ZipRecruiter

[1:24:50] and you do it.

[1:24:51] Yeah, yeah.

[1:24:52] It's a perfect, it's what we call a perfect triad.

[1:24:59] I guess we call it that now.

[1:25:01] I guess I'm fucking locked in.

[1:25:04] Something witty.

[1:25:06] Just a bunch of words I said

[1:25:09] with a lot of stumbling at the end

[1:25:12] that I wish the audience could have seen

[1:25:14] Stuart's look of disgust when I reached the end

[1:25:17] of that interminable sentence.

[1:25:20] Okay, guys, we also have us a hot Jumbotron.

[1:25:24] Yeah.

[1:25:24] Whoa, steaming Jumbotron right out of the Jumbolo.

[1:25:28] Let me get my pot holders

[1:25:31] because this one's coming in super hot.

[1:25:35] Okay, are you ready?

[1:25:37] Okay, let's start.

[1:25:40] Okay, now let's start over.

[1:25:43] Do you like? Sorry.

[1:25:44] Okay, I'll start over again.

[1:25:46] Do you like movies, pickle babies and tiny apple pies?

[1:25:51] How about current events?

[1:25:53] If you like the first three

[1:25:56] and you're willing to put up with the fourth one,

[1:25:59] try Decades Podcast.

[1:26:01] We talk about movies from the olden times

[1:26:04] versus movies from nowadays and drink weird cocktails.

[1:26:08] You like drinks that look back at you?

[1:26:11] We've got them.

[1:26:13] Learn about great and terrible movies

[1:26:17] you've never heard of like Gabriel over the White House

[1:26:22] and The Silent Command.

[1:26:24] Listen to the pod and read the blog

[1:26:26] at decadespodcast.wordpress.com.

[1:26:31] So that's it.

[1:26:32] Listen to Decades Podcast wherever you get your ear candy

[1:26:36] and read the blog at decadespodcast.wordpress.com.

[1:26:40] Those ear candy drugs that you take through your ears.

[1:26:43] Yeah, yeah.

[1:26:45] It's audio cocaine.

[1:26:47] Like, comment, subscribe and imbibe.

[1:26:51] I like that tagline.

[1:26:53] That's quite a call to action.

[1:26:55] Gabriel over the White House is a crazy movie.

[1:26:57] I haven't seen it.

[1:26:59] I'll have to check out the pod.

[1:27:03] I just wanna quickly give a shout out

[1:27:05] to our friend Chuck Bryant.

[1:27:08] Chuck Bryant.

[1:27:09] Of the Stuff You Should Know podcast.

[1:27:11] Stuff you should know.

[1:27:13] Husband of Lane Bryant.

[1:27:14] Oh, he's not a Max Fund.

[1:27:17] And grandson of William Jennings Bryant.

[1:27:22] Okay, anyway, I'll keep talking.

[1:27:25] Not a Max Fund personality,

[1:27:27] but certainly Max Fund adjacent

[1:27:29] as he's been in a lot of Max Fund cons

[1:27:32] doing things like running the trivia with John Hodgman.

[1:27:36] Yeah.

[1:27:37] He's a great guy.

[1:27:39] And he just launched a new podcast on November 3rd

[1:27:44] called Movie Crush.

[1:27:46] Where as I'll quote him,

[1:27:48] I sit down with awesome people

[1:27:50] to chat about their all time favorite movie.

[1:27:53] And he's done shows with people like Tig Notaro,

[1:27:56] John Hodgman, Kevin Pollack, Ken Jennings, Roman Mars.

[1:27:59] Is Kevin Pollack's favorite movie

[1:28:01] a movie with Kevin Pollack in it?

[1:28:03] I have to assume it's Grumpy Old Man.

[1:28:05] Yeah, it's just, no.

[1:28:06] His favorite movie is just him doing a Columbo impression.

[1:28:09] It's weird.

[1:28:10] Not technically a movie, but all out.

[1:28:13] So just check out Movie Crush on behalf of our buddy.

[1:28:18] And before we move on,

[1:28:19] there's two things that we should mention about ourselves.

[1:28:21] Okay.

[1:28:22] First is-

[1:28:23] Let's toot our own horns.

[1:28:25] Guys, get your horns out for some tooting.

[1:28:28] We have got a live show coming up December 9th.

[1:28:31] That's a Saturday in lovely San Francisco,

[1:28:35] home of Rosario Dawson's character in Unforgettable.

[1:28:37] Oh, near Cervantes Street?

[1:28:39] From Soul Calibur?

[1:28:41] I don't think it's on Cervantes Street.

[1:28:44] It's at the Marines Memorial Theater.

[1:28:46] That's the night of Saturday, December 9th.

[1:28:48] Tickets are still available, but for how long?

[1:28:50] It's gonna be our last live show of the year.

[1:28:53] Yeah.

[1:28:54] And-

[1:28:55] The last one's scheduled right now too for the future.

[1:28:58] We're looking into other ones,

[1:29:00] but we don't know where or when those will be just yet.

[1:29:03] So, get on this one.

[1:29:05] This is the last chance for the foreseeable future

[1:29:06] to see us in person, all three peaches together,

[1:29:09] unless one of us hurts our back or our knee

[1:29:11] or dies in an avalanche or something.

[1:29:13] But then we dedicate the show to them.

[1:29:16] Yeah, yeah.

[1:29:18] And it should be a lot of fun.

[1:29:20] So that's San Francisco, December 9th, 2017.

[1:29:24] It's a Saturday.

[1:29:25] And tickets are available.

[1:29:26] Go to flophousepodcast.com slash event

[1:29:29] and it'll take you right to the link for it.

[1:29:34] Another thing you should go to the Flophouse Podcast website,

[1:29:35] if you go to flophousepodcast.com slash comics

[1:29:38] is our current round of comics.

[1:29:42] They're based on the theme of love

[1:29:44] and every proceed that goes to it,

[1:29:48] all the profits from it,

[1:29:49] go to Hurricane Relief for Puerto Rico.

[1:29:52] It's crazy that it's been so long

[1:29:54] and they're still struggling

[1:29:55] with the aftermath of the hurricane.

[1:29:57] And buy these comics and that money will go-

[1:30:00] them yeah we're talking we're talking about we're talking about american

[1:30:02] citizens here

[1:30:04] yet american citizens

[1:30:05] who are who are living a

[1:30:08] it

[1:30:08] unthinkable uh...

[1:30:10] calamity right now

[1:30:12] uh... and you get something out of it you get great comics by dan me and soon

[1:30:16] stewards will be available and i think i was coming out soon the uh... i mean

[1:30:20] getting previews of the art and looks super awesome

[1:30:23] i can't wait to see it all finished

[1:30:26] i know dan's really part of his story i'm extremely proud of my story uh...

[1:30:29] this comes from a real great if you haven't read on

[1:30:32] go read on and know that you're helping your fellow americans or if you're

[1:30:35] listening to this you're not american they are helping

[1:30:38] an american

[1:30:39] and we need all the help we can get right now

[1:30:41] uh... so that's what has podcast dot com slash comics

[1:30:45] and if you don't live in san francisco you should probably just by plane tickets

[1:30:48] and go there for a live show

[1:30:51] i mean it's not unheard of

[1:30:53] it's happened before

[1:30:54] sorry i just i i i just got a concerning text message that just says

[1:30:59] so much cat puke

[1:31:00] uh... time to get to the bottom of this mystery

[1:31:04] uh...

[1:31:06] pics

[1:31:07] question mark

[1:31:10] that does sound more like the kind of mystery that encyclopedia brown would be

[1:31:13] dealing with sure

[1:31:14] bugs me he's trying to sell cat puke to people and passing it off as dan's

[1:31:19] chili

[1:31:20] uh...

[1:31:23] uh...

[1:31:26] and he has so much about

[1:31:27] uh... something that happened in the nineteenth century that proves bugs me

[1:31:30] he's wrong

[1:31:31] uh...

[1:31:33] now what we do next

[1:31:35] now it's time to uh... answer a few letters

[1:31:38] from listeners

[1:31:39] and the first letter

[1:31:41] is from kyle last name withheld katarn

[1:31:44] who writes yep star wars character kyle katarn

[1:31:48] i was delighted to hear stewart mention the nineteen ninety classic ski patrol

[1:31:52] on a recent episode

[1:31:54] i probably watch that movie a hundred times when i was a kid

[1:31:57] but i hadn't seen in so long i assumed i had made it up

[1:32:00] i looked it up on i'm dvd just for shits and grins

[1:32:04] and discovered that the character of stanley the awkward but lovable weirdo

[1:32:07] of the group

[1:32:08] was played by a fucking paul feig

[1:32:11] is this common knowledge that i just acquired

[1:32:14] or did i just blow your god damn minds

[1:32:17] my question is this

[1:32:19] if only it's factoids about ski patrol could still blow my mind

[1:32:26] have you ever discovered someone from a favorite movie in an unexpected place

[1:32:30] or

[1:32:31] have you ever realized someone from the current zeitgeist was in a childhood

[1:32:35] favorite but you had no idea

[1:32:37] thanks for the hours of entertainment keep up the great work kyle last name

[1:32:40] withheld

[1:32:42] uh...

[1:32:44] yeah i think the closest i can think of today it's not like a favorite that was

[1:32:48] it neither of these are favorites of mine

[1:32:50] but uh...

[1:32:53] the uh...

[1:32:54] in the movie mac and me

[1:32:56] is a scene with a dance number inside of a mcdonald's

[1:32:59] and there's a moment where the camera zooms in on this little girl that is

[1:33:03] dancing her heart out like she's dancing so hard

[1:33:06] and i always felt bad for that little girl because it was like

[1:33:08] she thinks this is the beginning of like a huge career

[1:33:11] like that she's going to be famous off of mac and me

[1:33:14] and i always wanted to be like

[1:33:16] uh... that poor girl she didn't know and then i found out years later it was tv's

[1:33:19] nikki cox

[1:33:20] who's had quite a fine career for herself

[1:33:22] so it was like

[1:33:23] oh there was a happy ending to this story

[1:33:26] uh... i was really happy

[1:33:28] that dancing role in mac and me did work out for her so i guess

[1:33:31] anyone who was in mac and me dancing and has not

[1:33:34] had a long tv career you ruined it

[1:33:36] so you screwed up somewhere else it wasn't mac and me that did it

[1:33:38] yeah you can't blame mac and me

[1:33:41] no don't blame mac for this maybe me i don't know

[1:33:43] mac certainly not

[1:33:44] i mean after you know after

[1:33:48] thirty rock came out it was fun to rewatch uh...

[1:33:52] national lampoon's vacation and realize that jane krakowski's in it

[1:33:56] she's great

[1:33:56] i love jane krakowski

[1:33:58] yeah who does she play in it she plays uh... what randy quaid's daughter or

[1:34:03] something

[1:34:04] in the uh... they're like cousins that live out in the country

[1:34:08] yeah i didn't realize that was her i haven't seen that movie in a long time

[1:34:12] why don't you just go run it from the blockbuster and pop it in and watch it with the

[1:34:16] family

[1:34:17] maybe i will i think sammy would like it he'd definitely like hearing holiday

[1:34:21] road

[1:34:22] he would probably like that song i don't know that he'd really get the rest of

[1:34:25] the movie but he'd be like where are the muppets why are there no muppets in this

[1:34:28] i think he'd probably be like

[1:34:30] wow christy brinkley what a babe look at that car she's driving

[1:34:35] yeah he would be all over it that's a pretty good impression of your son right

[1:34:38] yeah my son's always talking about babes

[1:34:42] uh... i don't have any answer to this specific question but

[1:34:46] as long as we're talking about ski patrol i want to

[1:34:49] bring up a story about ski school that i can't remember what i've brought up on

[1:34:53] the podcast before but uh...

[1:34:55] i was in a play

[1:34:57] uh...

[1:34:59] in college you were in ski school the musical

[1:35:02] it was a play in college

[1:35:04] with a woman who is dean cameron the star of ski school's

[1:35:08] sister

[1:35:09] i don't know why you just qualified that i think everybody knows that dean cameron is the star of ski school

[1:35:14] well i found out that she was his sister it blew my mind and i'm like

[1:35:20] the star of ski school

[1:35:22] and ski school two

[1:35:24] and summer school

[1:35:26] i don't know if he's the star of summer school

[1:35:28] chainsaw i would take issue with that chainsaw is the breakout star of summer school

[1:35:32] i mean i don't know the breakout character but not the star

[1:35:36] he's at best the third lead

[1:35:39] but uh...

[1:35:40] yeah i just

[1:35:41] i just enjoyed seeing like the look of

[1:35:44] dawning horror

[1:35:46] as

[1:35:46] as i was able to

[1:35:48] pull all these uh... semi-obscure

[1:35:52] kind of exploitation-y films out of my brain

[1:35:55] uh... and list her brother's credits to her and her sort of like

[1:35:58] mentally backing away from me yeah the look in her eyes as she's scanning the

[1:36:02] room for possible exits exactly

[1:36:04] haha

[1:36:07] uh...

[1:36:08] so moving on

[1:36:10] this name

[1:36:11] this name this name

[1:36:14] the name of the next person

[1:36:16] is nathan last name withheld

[1:36:18] nathan lane sure

[1:36:20] and he writes

[1:36:22] hello peaches

[1:36:23] on the monster trucks episode i heard elliot make an offhand reference to the

[1:36:27] firesign theater

[1:36:29] my dad introduced me to the further adventures of nick danger and probably

[1:36:34] ruined me for life

[1:36:36] they're one of my favorite obscure comedy references which i try and

[1:36:38] introduce to

[1:36:40] uh... introduce friends to any chance i get

[1:36:45] what are some obscure companies you and try you've tried to introduce friends

[1:36:48] and family to

[1:36:50] and what you do they don't laugh at the classic line

[1:36:52] open up in their your door knocker fell off

[1:36:55] yours

[1:36:56] made them last name withheld

[1:36:58] so

[1:36:59] he tried to introduce people to apologize at all of these

[1:37:04] i've been trying to let there's a lot of uh...

[1:37:07] there's a lot of lower tier thirties comedians like wheeler and woolsey

[1:37:11] that i find very funny in the movies and i've kind of given up trying to share

[1:37:14] those movies of people because it's like forget it nevermind you're not gonna

[1:37:17] like this so much

[1:37:19] uh...

[1:37:20] the fireside theater uh...

[1:37:22] it's great we can have to get to be in keyed into that

[1:37:26] into the way point for them and that's been one that i've that i've tried to

[1:37:28] choose people to in their life and there are very many jokes in it like it's full

[1:37:32] of jokes we talk about

[1:37:34] and that wasn't a very interesting answer but it's true

[1:37:37] normally a response like yours opens them up to company at that point we're

[1:37:41] like

[1:37:42] i was going to jokes and they're like

[1:37:44] all you make a good point i should like this more

[1:37:48] uh... i mean

[1:37:49] and i know when my wife and i a first are dating

[1:37:52] uh...

[1:37:53] i think i i don't really try to introduce it like

[1:37:57] uh... this you know this is years ago but uh... it's like graham linehan

[1:38:00] comedies like father ted and

[1:38:03] uh... black books and

[1:38:05] i don't know the i t crowd

[1:38:07] and this was years ago before graham linehan became a problematic like uh...

[1:38:11] but charlene just did not

[1:38:13] take to it it was far too british for her

[1:38:17] yeah

[1:38:18] uh...

[1:38:20] and i think i may have

[1:38:22] related the story of the podcast before it's so hard to remember after so many

[1:38:25] episodes what i'm boring people by

[1:38:28] reiterating

[1:38:29] but uh...

[1:38:30] but uh... this is not what i mean if it is a question is are you boring people

[1:38:34] than just assume yes

[1:38:36] uh... that's

[1:38:37] you know that brings a lot of freedom with an elliott

[1:38:39] but that's actually they don't have to worry about it anymore

[1:38:42] uh...

[1:38:44] yeah it's not an obscure comedy group by any means but i remember

[1:38:48] exposing a female friend to the marks brothers

[1:38:51] and the scenes where harpo runs after women

[1:38:55] uh... through the scene

[1:38:57] don't play quite as well

[1:38:59] and this modern world

[1:39:01] they seem a little more

[1:39:02] uh... sexual assault the then uh... they played perhaps at the time

[1:39:08] and my explanation that harpo is kind of a sexless imp

[1:39:13] who wouldn't know what to do with a woman

[1:39:16] uh... is is was not taken

[1:39:19] on on value

[1:39:21] yeah i mean

[1:39:22] it's it's i mean that sort of things weird

[1:39:26] because it is i mean obviously it was a different time and it's harder to use

[1:39:30] the argument of like they should know better i mean they fucking should know

[1:39:33] better but

[1:39:34] uh... it's not like the first season of

[1:39:37] brooklyn nine nine where they had joe latruglio's character being like a weird

[1:39:41] creepy stalker dude right time if you're like

[1:39:43] uh... you guys should definitely know better than this at this point yeah

[1:39:50] what are you looking at elliot

[1:39:52] elliot scannon is what i'm going to recommend later

[1:39:56] uh... and

[1:39:57] by the way going back by i'd did not mean to

[1:40:00] like those shows were what like unknown or under underappreciated faves they're

[1:40:07] just the experience I had was very similar to what the the writer

[1:40:12] described the moment of me looking at the joke laughing and looking for

[1:40:17] recognition and mild annoyance was all I got so last letter is from first name

[1:40:27] withheld Joseph last name withheld and what a complicated name he writes dear

[1:40:35] floppies firstly it's always a pleasure to hear all of your voices every time a

[1:40:39] new episode comes out whether it be the smooth bass of Stuart the Midwestern

[1:40:44] drawl of Dan and then there's Elliot who's saying treble recently recently I

[1:40:52] rewatched Darren Aronofsky is controversy controversial movie Noah

[1:40:56] this take on the classic story of the flood divided many people both religious

[1:41:00] and non-religious alike and I was one of them I'm not a religious man myself but

[1:41:05] I found the film to be initially tone-deaf with its bizarre sci-fi themes

[1:41:09] and such a religious tale after rewatching it however I found new joy

[1:41:14] with better understanding what the movie was about

[1:41:16] Aronofsky was going for a much bleaker take on the flood and the more bizarre

[1:41:20] moments of the film like the rock monsters and Noah's in the beginning

[1:41:24] tale really make this biblical adaptation stand out my question is what

[1:41:29] are some films that made you go from hating it to actually liking it and how

[1:41:32] do you feel about Aronofsky's Noah if you saw it in general as always keep on

[1:41:38] flopping in the free world sincerely first name withheld Joseph last name

[1:41:42] withheld a complicated name yeah I don't like it I mean I think I think I think an

[1:41:50] example of a movie kind of similar was was seen Prometheus in the theaters

[1:41:56] because there's a lot of things that I liked about it but it felt like I'm like

[1:41:59] wait there's supposed to be a prequel to alien why isn't this better at being a

[1:42:03] prequel to alien and being really frustrated by it but the more I thought

[1:42:08] about the more and then seeing it a second time I totally came around on it

[1:42:12] and was like I don't give a shit if it's a prequel to anything yeah I'm having a

[1:42:17] hard time with this because I'm not saying that I'm like I'm always right

[1:42:23] and so my opinions never change but I rarely like have an experience like this

[1:42:29] I don't and I'm like nothing's jumping to mind your old stick to your guns

[1:42:34] McCoy that's what we call you I am old stick to my guns McCoy I mean it's much

[1:42:37] more likely that a movie I liked initially then I reevaluate I'm like oh

[1:42:42] this isn't so good like you're talking about monster squad I'm talking about

[1:42:46] something like Forrest Gump which the first time I saw it like I was swept up

[1:42:50] in kind of like the emotion of it and like how technically proficient it is

[1:42:54] and then I later on I was like oh this is a weirdly like conservative movie

[1:42:59] that really celebrates like a go-along get-along attitude that I'm not sure

[1:43:03] that I agree with and but I mean more likely I'll try and watch a movie that I

[1:43:09] know is gonna be good and I'm just not in the mood for it you know like I

[1:43:13] remember I tried to watch the movie repulsion the first time and I was like

[1:43:19] I'd heard that it was this great horror movie and I wasn't in the mood at the

[1:43:24] time for like a slow burn like someone becoming crazy over time movie and then

[1:43:32] I watched it later about the we're talking about the early grind core band

[1:43:36] repulsion yeah I'm talking about the grind core band with their album

[1:43:38] horrified yeah I get it it's a it takes a couple listens you know but I mean

[1:43:42] like that was just a pull of like the first movie that I thought of that like

[1:43:45] I tried to watch and wasn't in the mood for but then later on was like this is

[1:43:50] very well made and that happens more often than me like reevaluating

[1:43:55] something I think it hurts when a movie is not super obvious with what it's

[1:44:01] trying to do it can have that effect on me sometimes like or if it's an

[1:44:06] abrasive character sometimes like as much as I love a lot of West most of

[1:44:10] Wes Anderson's movies it took me a long time to get into Rushmore which I feel

[1:44:15] like otherwise in our generation people loved it so much but I found the main

[1:44:19] character so abrasive and hateful and it took me a while to like get into liking

[1:44:26] the movie despite not wanting to spend time with this character but uh then

[1:44:30] there's a movie like young adult which I haven't watched again yet I'm curious to

[1:44:35] watch it again it's the first time I watch it I like didn't really know what

[1:44:38] the movie was until very late in the film and I'd already kind of decided I

[1:44:42] don't like this movie but watching it now knowing what I'm in for and like

[1:44:47] what the movies trying to get at I think I might appreciate it more I don't know

[1:44:50] I haven't tried yet I'm very worried that my saying that repulsion is a good

[1:44:55] movie is like gonna be taken as an endorsement of Roman Polanski or

[1:44:58] something by the way who is obviously a horrible human being I mean monsters can

[1:45:03] make good things I mean we live it's it's the it's on a on a it's on a very

[1:45:09] certain level like no one can be such a horrifically evil person that Chinatown

[1:45:15] stops being an amazing movie you just have to be like this is an amazing movie

[1:45:19] that was made by a terrible person yeah a truly terrible person yeah like you

[1:45:23] can agree that you like something and not want to support that person yeah yeah

[1:45:29] well I mean like that's a debate that people have and I'm not sure mm-hmm you

[1:45:33] could say I like Chinatown but you know if I met Roman Polanski I'd punch him in

[1:45:38] the face yeah yeah yeah there you go but I'm just amazed that old stick-to-his-guns

[1:45:42] McCoy is suddenly backing away from an opinion that he proffers very clearly

[1:45:48] well seems like he's not sticking to his guns anymore yeah it's like his hands

[1:45:54] are covered in something slippery so the guns can't stick to them they used

[1:45:59] to be covered in honey so the guns stuck very well yeah yeah but lately he's been

[1:46:05] even what working on a car and your hands are covered with grease and oil

[1:46:08] yeah let's just slip right out old slippery guns McCoy they call me that's

[1:46:14] a debate we that's a debate we can have in another time but how okay is it to

[1:46:17] like something created by a I mean it's a monster like I feel like I feel like

[1:46:22] any debate of pop culture is certainly now more than ever that that topic

[1:46:28] comes up a lot and I'm sure we've talked about it before here oh yeah it's like

[1:46:32] we're living through this time when it feels like we're living through bad

[1:46:37] times because we're learning all these bad things and I think it's it's part of

[1:46:42] remembering that we're not this stuff didn't just happen it's not like things

[1:46:47] were great and then it turned bad like this the bad stuff has always been

[1:46:50] around and now we can see it and that's a better world to live in where this

[1:46:55] stuff is not hidden anymore I've been thinking a lot about how like it's not

[1:46:59] that we're living through this crappy time it's that people are kicking over

[1:47:02] the rocks and we can see all the ants and the rot that was always there and

[1:47:05] that means you can go about trying to fix it and doing something about it and

[1:47:08] that's a better thing yeah you can also say it knows the problem you can also

[1:47:12] say I like Roman Polanski's older movies I don't want him to ever be able to make

[1:47:19] another movie again because he's in jail which I think is another suitable

[1:47:23] attitude to have yeah that's another option okay well let's move on from

[1:47:30] serious matters to recommendations of movies that you might want to watch

[1:47:34] before you watch unforgettable there's a finite amount of time in human life and

[1:47:39] maybe I make some hard choices the grains in the hourglass just slip away

[1:47:46] that's I don't know let's let's just sit for a moment let a few of those grains

[1:47:50] yeah Dan I thought you had one in the fucking chamber when you started this

[1:47:54] okay I was just wondering you said Dan went let's recommend some movies and then

[1:48:00] just stop what's gonna jump in with a movie recommendation I can certainly go

[1:48:07] first yeah do it so I watched recently I rewatched a movie that I had enjoyed

[1:48:13] very much in the past but forgotten most of the details of I watched the

[1:48:26] shot and is this like Dan what you're doing right now it's you're the kid

[1:48:29] who's like I can't play this video game till I sit down and read the

[1:48:32] instruction manual all the way through yeah which I used to do in the bathroom

[1:48:35] I gotta know the names of all the bad guys before I start fighting them I need

[1:48:40] I need to know the history of Waluigi before I can battle against I need to

[1:48:45] know the powers of Karubo's shoe I don't even know what that is so I watched the

[1:48:52] shop around the corner which is a great movie great Ernst Lubitsch movie it's

[1:48:59] what you've got mail was very loosely based on and also the stage musical she

[1:49:06] loves me it's based on that yeah I wasn't even aware that there was such a

[1:49:10] musical but it's a good musical guys guys I can confirm that was a lot of cat

[1:49:16] puke okay you got a photo oh you got a photographic evidence I'll just put

[1:49:20] those up on the wiki it has so so Elliot is that are they in Budapest that where

[1:49:27] it's set where's where's the yes I believe so it's in I think it's

[1:49:31] Budapest at that time a number of Hollywood movies especially those light

[1:49:35] comedies were being set in Eastern Europe because the people making them

[1:49:38] were from Eastern Europe right and Budapest had this reputation for being

[1:49:42] kind of like one of the glittering cosmopolitan cities of Europe but

[1:49:46] everyone in the movie the only the only thing that really makes it like it's

[1:49:50] Budapest is that everyone has kind of Hungarian names otherwise it could

[1:49:53] easily be Spokane or Kansas City or something like that you know but the

[1:50:00] The plot is simple. Jimmy Stewart is corresponding with a woman that he's falling in love with.

[1:50:06] Meanwhile, he doesn't realize that the shop girl that he is constantly sparring with

[1:50:12] is the person that he has been corresponding with.

[1:50:17] And all sorts of romantic complications ensue.

[1:50:21] But it has what the people call that Lubitsch touch.

[1:50:25] It's a delight. It's charming.

[1:50:28] And it's also, you know, It's a Wonderful Life is Jimmy Stewart's Christmas movie.

[1:50:34] It's considered a Christmas classic even though only the ending really happens at Christmas.

[1:50:39] And Shop Around the Corner is also set at Christmas.

[1:50:42] I guess it doesn't count as a Christmas movie.

[1:50:44] Yeah, it's no Die Hard, says Dan McCoy.

[1:50:47] Gremlins did it better, says Dan McCoy.

[1:50:50] When it comes to Christmas movies, I'll take Gremlins with Thin Man.

[1:50:54] True Christmas classics.

[1:50:57] I consider it a Christmas movie, definitely.

[1:51:00] I was just fending off any possible argument against it.

[1:51:04] Dan, you have been so hedging everything you've said on this podcast.

[1:51:08] What is going on today? Why are you so fearful?

[1:51:11] I don't know.

[1:51:12] I just want to make it clear. I don't like Roman Polanski.

[1:51:14] I just want to make it clear.

[1:51:16] I know there is a huge amount of actual Christmas in It's a Wonderful Life.

[1:51:20] I've also been outside clipping the hedge in front of my apartment building.

[1:51:23] So I've been doing that hedging as well.

[1:51:25] That's so much hedging.

[1:51:26] No, but it's just another Jimmy Stewart Christmas movie that deserves to be remembered, is all I'm saying.

[1:51:32] Yeah, it's a great movie.

[1:51:34] That was a favorite in my family.

[1:51:39] Yeah.

[1:51:40] I'll go next.

[1:51:42] I'm going to do two quick recommendations.

[1:51:46] The first one is a movie that I think needs all the love it can get right now,

[1:51:50] because it's crushing it at the box office.

[1:51:53] That's right.

[1:51:54] I'm going to recommend Thor Ragnarok.

[1:51:56] Check that shit out.

[1:51:57] It's great.

[1:52:00] I knew I was going to love it.

[1:52:02] I like Taika Waititi's other movies quite a bit.

[1:52:05] It definitely feels like a comedy with some action thrown in.

[1:52:09] All the performances are great.

[1:52:11] Particularly, I really love the Valkyrie character that is portrayed by Tessa.

[1:52:18] Valkyrie.

[1:52:19] Valkyrie, yeah.

[1:52:20] She's great.

[1:52:21] It's one of the first times that I feel like Marvel put a female superhero on screen who is enjoying being a superhero,

[1:52:35] like actually seems to be having fun doing this stuff, which is nice to see.

[1:52:40] I don't know.

[1:52:41] I feel like her character is, in any other movie,

[1:52:44] is the character that would be played by the fun Kurt Russell character.

[1:52:50] Okay.

[1:52:51] I like that.

[1:52:52] Check it out.

[1:52:54] I want to recommend a movie that's a bit of a qualified recommendation,

[1:52:58] but when I was in Toronto,

[1:53:00] I was lucky enough to get over to the Art Gallery of Ontario to see the Guillermo del Toro exhibit,

[1:53:05] which is just a portion of Guillermo del Toro's personal museum,

[1:53:11] his personal collection of both books,

[1:53:14] original comic art, as well as props from his movies and other movies.

[1:53:19] They had the mask from Phantom of the Paradise there.

[1:53:22] Yeah.

[1:53:23] That was pretty great to see.

[1:53:24] And the helmet that Dracula wears in the opening of Bram Stoker's Dracula.

[1:53:28] Yeah.

[1:53:29] That was awesome.

[1:53:31] And some original pages of Bernie Wright's Frankenstein, which was amazing.

[1:53:36] But going to that exhibit made me excited to go revisit Guillermo del Toro's movies

[1:53:44] and also to finally check out Crimson Peak,

[1:53:48] which I'd been put off from kind of the negative reviews.

[1:53:52] And I like Crimson Peak a lot.

[1:53:54] I think it is a little bit messy, and I feel like he repeats himself a little bit,

[1:53:59] but Guillermo del Toro makes beautiful looking movies, and Crimson Peak is no exception.

[1:54:06] So, yeah, if you're looking for a period piece that might not be the most original story

[1:54:13] but is filled with kind of beautiful visuals and some, I don't know, some cool ghost design, check it out.

[1:54:21] It does also feature Guillermo del Toro's habit of sticking in occasional moments of CGI that looks like shit.

[1:54:29] But, you know, that's okay.

[1:54:32] Everything else looks great.

[1:54:34] Speaking of period films with beautiful visuals, that's the kind of movie that I'm going to recommend.

[1:54:40] I recently saw The Lost City of Z.

[1:54:42] Oh, wow.

[1:54:43] It's a James Gray movie about the true life story of Percy Fawcett, who is a British explorer who—

[1:54:52] And it also features Charlie Hunnam, who is in Crimson Peak.

[1:54:56] Yeah, that's right.

[1:54:58] You know the original son of anarchy?

[1:55:02] Charlie Hunnam is the star of it, and the new Spider-Man is in it later on, and Sienna Miller's in it.

[1:55:09] And it's a true story about a British explorer who found this, or believed he had found, this ancient city in South America

[1:55:20] that proved that the South Americans were capable of feats of urban engineering and architecture and civilization

[1:55:27] that at the time Europeans assumed they were too primitive to ever attain,

[1:55:33] and then spent the rest of his life trying to find evidence of it that he could use to prove that he was right.

[1:55:38] And in the process ends up sacrificing his relationship with his family members,

[1:55:43] sacrificing his public image at times, sacrificing, eventually, possibly his life.

[1:55:49] You'll find out if you watch the movie.

[1:55:51] And it's very, very kind of old-fashioned classic style filmmaking in a way that was really refreshing to watch, in a way.

[1:56:01] Like, this is the way they used to make prestige movies in the 70s, 80s, or earlier.

[1:56:09] And I thought it was really good.

[1:56:11] At times, Charlie Hunnam is a bit wooden, but that's kind of how he is.

[1:56:18] But Robert Pattinson is in it as his kind of sidekick assistant, and he's surprisingly really funny and sprightly in his character.

[1:56:26] I think Robert Pattinson kind of gets a bad rap because of being in the Twilight movies.

[1:56:32] But, like, almost everything else I've seen him in, he's been pretty good at.

[1:56:36] Yeah. I got a new appreciation of him in this.

[1:56:40] And it was just like a really good jungle exploration movie,

[1:56:45] and a movie about stuffy British people being confronted with the dangers of the wild.

[1:56:55] Yeah.

[1:56:56] And about family and how family falls apart.

[1:56:58] Anyway, I thought it was really good.

[1:57:00] The Lost City of Z. I recommend it.

[1:57:04] Well, we've all got places to be.

[1:57:07] So why not, why perform things?

[1:57:09] I don't.

[1:57:10] You don't?

[1:57:11] I thought I was going to hang out here all day.

[1:57:14] Collar tug, collar tug.

[1:57:18] Thank you for narrating that collar tug, Dan.

[1:57:20] Yeah. This is the radio.

[1:57:22] Well, anyway.

[1:57:23] Well, I have some big Hollywood meetings I have to get to with some Hollywood hotshots.

[1:57:28] Perhaps you've heard of the star of hotshots, Charlie Sheen.

[1:57:34] Oh, wow.

[1:57:36] I haven't heard anything about him for a while.

[1:57:38] I think he's due for a comeback.

[1:57:39] He kind of dropped off the radar a while back.

[1:57:41] But people love him.

[1:57:43] People just love him, and we're going to meet and work on a project together.

[1:57:45] Okay. Well, that sounds great.

[1:57:46] Good luck.

[1:57:47] I think Roman Polanski is going to direct it.

[1:57:49] Okay.

[1:57:50] Again, another guy you don't hear a lot about these days.

[1:57:53] And we've got Harvey Weinstein on to produce, so I think we've got a real chance at success.

[1:57:59] Oh, boy.

[1:58:01] Just great guys, the whole group.

[1:58:03] Anyway, so the movie is going to be called Bad Idea, the movie.

[1:58:06] Oh, wow.

[1:58:07] I'm glad that you're bringing back the movie subtitle to your project.

[1:58:13] Well, we were talking to theater owners, and they thought if people walked up to a marquee that just said Bad Idea,

[1:58:19] they'd be like, you're right.

[1:58:20] It is a bad idea to waste my limited time on this earth sitting in the dark watching someone else's creation.

[1:58:25] I'm going to go do something in my own life.

[1:58:27] And then the theater owners don't get money, and the movie doesn't get money.

[1:58:30] So we've got to call it Bad Idea, the movie.

[1:58:32] The same way that people were worried that someone would walk into a theater and say, one hot dog, please.

[1:58:37] And they didn't sell hot dogs at the time.

[1:58:39] Now they do in theaters.

[1:58:40] Now if you walked into a theater and said, one hot dog, please, they'd say, here you go.

[1:58:43] That's $17.

[1:58:44] But at the time, they didn't sell that.

[1:58:46] People would not know it was a movie called Hot Dog, the Movie.

[1:58:49] Now it is.

[1:58:50] Yeah, when the Alamo Draft House did a screening of Hot Dog, the Movie,

[1:58:53] they made a special menu that did not feature any hot dogs, and people burned the place to the ground.

[1:59:00] Rightfully so.

[1:59:01] Just like Katherine Heigl and her dad.

[1:59:03] It's like when people bought tickets to the Emoji Movie thinking it was going to be a movie,

[1:59:06] and there was just a giant emoji on the screen.

[1:59:08] And they're like, we want our money back.

[1:59:10] And that's why the movie didn't do that well.

[1:59:12] Yeah, that's the story.

[1:59:14] That's the oral history of that.

[1:59:16] That's been our show.

[1:59:18] Thanks for listening.

[1:59:19] Go to MaxFund to listen to a lot of other great podcasts.

[1:59:23] And check it out, maximumfund.org.

[1:59:27] And we'll be back at you sooner than you think.

[1:59:30] Actually, probably exactly when you think.

[1:59:32] I don't know why I said sooner than you think.

[1:59:33] Yeah, every two weeks, pretty much when it happens.

[1:59:35] It's on schedule.

[1:59:36] Are we going to release like a secret episode?

[1:59:38] Like when a band is playing a secret show at a club somewhere?

[1:59:43] We'll be visiting you in your dreams.

[1:59:47] But before that happens, let's sign off.

[1:59:50] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:59:51] Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:59:54] Elliot Kalin here at the bottom of an ancient Roman cistern.

[1:59:58] Remember that joke?

[1:59:59] I made it earlier.

[2:00:00] See you later, guys. Bye.

[2:00:15] I've got you should see my setup over here, guys.

[2:00:17] I'm like a regular Rush Limbaugh.

[2:00:18] I got my microphone. I got my computer.

[2:00:21] I got my other computer for looking up information.

[2:00:23] I got my notes and my notepad.

[2:00:25] I've got my phone for skyping with you guys.

[2:00:27] It's like a regular pump up the volume over here.

[2:00:29] I've got your oxycontin.

[2:00:31] I've got my oxycontin because I'm addicted to it.

[2:00:34] I got my complete lack of decency or moral values.

[2:00:38] I got a solid gold microphone.

[2:00:40] I've got like 300 extra pounds.

[2:00:42] I'm like Rush Limbaugh over here.

[2:00:43] Uh huh. Do you got a hot cup of Java

[2:00:46] and an even hotter cup of takes?

[2:00:52] But I'm just worried that I'm

[2:00:53] accidentally going to drink my cup of takes and then I have to.

[2:00:56] Oh, maximum fun.

[2:00:59] Dot org, comedy and culture artist owned listener supported.

Ep. #244 - Unforgettable

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