Ep. #255 - The Layover

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss The Layover.

[0:02] I have no jokes about The Layover, much like the movie The Layover.

[0:30] hey everyone welcome to the podcast i'm dan mccoy hey everyone welcome to the podcast i'm

[0:39] stewart wellington hey everybody welcome to the podcast i'm elliot calen and i just want to say

[0:45] real quick if we're not at our tippy top top energy today okay because stewart stewart just

[0:52] flew back from a red eye from the grand canyon doing a show for for max fun yesterday i was out

[0:58] marching for our children's lives and dan i'm sure you were doing something also as important

[1:02] yes uh i went to matt koff's birthday party at a bowling alley does that count for anything

[1:09] is it okay let's just moving on sorry my one my one arm is kind of tired i thought we'd hit our

[1:17] listeners with like a trifecta of stories of exciting like activism or a creative risk like

[1:24] stewart took and guys out of but you know and guys out of uh out of respect for everybody

[1:29] marching yesterday i'm gonna not say the joke about dan's arm being tired not from bowling

[1:35] but from jacking off thank you for the respect that you've shown very respectful um hey guys

[1:42] before we get started uh just want to say this is our second max fun drive episode what's the

[1:48] max fun drive dan max fun drive is uh the time once a year when we come to you hat in hand to

[1:55] ask for a little cash to help keep our shows running a lot of cash it's a big hat it's a big

[2:01] hat and it takes a lot of cash to fill it yeah max fun is listener supported in the same way that say

[2:06] you know national public radio or pbs is largely listener supported and uh it's your gifts of money

[2:14] that help us keep you with the, I don't know,

[2:17] the entertainment you crave, I guess.

[2:19] I mean, don't oversell it.

[2:21] Think of this podcast like a living organism,

[2:24] and the money they give us is the food that keeps it alive.

[2:27] Yeah.

[2:28] See, Elliot has clearly just recently watched Annihilation.

[2:32] I did see it yesterday.

[2:36] Guys, I had a packed day yesterday.

[2:38] I drove some people to the airport, my family,

[2:41] they're out of town for a couple days.

[2:42] then i went and marched in an anti-gun march then i went to see annihilation then i visited a friend

[2:46] of mine i had like a weekend's worth of activities in one day am i tired you bet but i'm still here

[2:52] to tell you about max fun drive and how important it is and how necessary it is which leads me to

[2:56] say dan you tell them uh i think i already have uh i will make it the uh max fun drive technically

[3:03] ended yesterday but i have it assured from the max fun headquarters that if you donate this weekend

[3:08] it still counts to the drive

[3:10] oh cool

[3:11] so we're still here telling you about it

[3:14] and I think

[3:16] we may have made some

[3:18] promises over social media

[3:20] over the last two weeks

[3:22] during the MaxFunDrive and we

[3:24] may or may not have hit those goals and if we did

[3:26] hooray

[3:27] and if we didn't

[3:30] well let's keep trying this weekend

[3:32] still counts Dan to

[3:34] donate am I correct in saying that people should go to

[3:36] MaximumFun.org slash donate.

[3:38] That's correct.

[3:39] You got it, buddy.

[3:41] And maybe later in the episode,

[3:43] we'll tell you even more

[3:44] about the amazing bonus content

[3:46] and gifts that you get

[3:47] for your varying levels of donation

[3:48] at MaximumFun.org slash donate

[3:50] for the MaxFun pledge drive

[3:52] now winding down,

[3:53] hopefully after shattering

[3:55] all previous records.

[3:56] Yeah.

[3:56] Now, what do we do

[3:58] on this here podcast, Dan?

[3:59] Okay, well, this is a podcast

[4:00] where we watch a bad movie

[4:02] and then we talk about it.

[4:03] Uh-huh.

[4:03] But we also,

[4:05] We also on this podcast promote the Max Fun Drive and shame Dan about his weekend.

[4:09] Look, just because I'm not living your rich, full life doesn't mean that I'm not a person of value.

[4:16] No, Dan, actually, the fact that you went to a party and went bowling was actually I thought you were going to say you stayed at home and like reorganized your DVDs.

[4:24] I'm impressed.

[4:25] Yeah.

[4:26] I mean, I have found enough time in my life to try and rewatch all of the Marvel movies in anticipation of Infinity War.

[4:35] I'm glad that you put try and re-watch.

[4:37] Like, oh, I might not make it.

[4:39] My eyeballs might be too tired.

[4:42] Who knows what lies ahead?

[4:46] That's true.

[4:49] Your eyes are like, it's too much blue glowy stuff.

[4:52] I can't handle any more blue glowy.

[4:54] And you're like, just push through the wall.

[4:56] Push through it.

[4:56] You can get there.

[4:57] Yeah.

[4:58] So I've been doing really worthwhile things with my time.

[5:01] See, in addition.

[5:03] So Dan.

[5:04] In addition to doing a full rewatch of the Marvel movies, which I think I'm about as far as you are, Dan, I'm also doing a full reread of a 14-book science fiction series.

[5:14] What series is that?

[5:17] It's the Gaunt's Ghost Novels by Dan Abnett.

[5:20] Oh, okay.

[5:21] You know, comic book writer, novelist, man about town, I guess.

[5:28] He's one of the two writers you can thank for making the comics that the Guardians of the Galaxy movies were essentially taken from whole cloth.

[5:39] Yeah, yeah.

[5:39] Interesting.

[5:41] Interesting facts.

[5:43] The run that he wrote with Andy Lanning.

[5:44] Yeah.

[5:44] Now, Dan, but you said we watch a movie on this podcast and then we talk about it, right?

[5:49] And in this case, we watched a movie called The Layover, which we found out is not William H. Macy's directorial debut.

[5:58] but it might as well be but it's his second film it's his sophomore effort it's his i mean i have

[6:03] to assume it was his dream project this is the one that he's been trying to get made for years

[6:08] this is his cashed all his chips this is his rushmore this is his boogie nights yeah this

[6:15] is his star wars this is his um uh uh go on jaws kiss jaws um is now would you call jaws

[6:26] Steven Spielberg's second movie?

[6:27] Well, I mean, it depends on whether you count Duel, I suppose.

[6:30] And what about...

[6:32] Where does Sugar Land Express fall in with that?

[6:34] That was before Jaws, I believe.

[6:37] I do believe.

[6:39] It's true.

[6:40] So it really does...

[6:41] Everything is happening at the zoo.

[6:42] So, now the layover...

[6:45] This is not the TV show that Anthony Bourdain hosts sometimes, right?

[6:48] No, this is...

[6:49] Wait a minute.

[6:50] I thought that's what I was supposed to watch on the plane.

[6:54] Oh, shit.

[6:55] Uh-oh.

[6:56] Guys, listeners, I'm just fucking around.

[6:58] I actually did my homework this time.

[7:00] I know you were worried.

[7:02] Should we talk about what the movie is?

[7:05] Yeah, let's talk about the movie.

[7:06] This movie is kind of like an old-fashioned sex comedy,

[7:09] except without the comedy and with very little sex.

[7:12] And it's about two feisty ladies who are feuding over the same guy.

[7:17] Dan, you've been in that situation many times.

[7:18] What's that like?

[7:19] Where I've feuded over the same guy with another feisty lady?

[7:23] Yeah.

[7:24] You got it.

[7:25] well you know sometimes you just got to go with your heart and do what you got to do to make your

[7:30] you know your love life what it's got to be step out of your comfort zone yeah that's what this

[7:35] movie is all about okay actually let's tell you what this movie really is all about okay uh so

[7:42] uh the layover begins we open with uh our heroine alexandra daddario who you may remember from

[7:49] like uh like what who detected san andreas and the like percy jackson movies yeah i see in those

[7:57] i'm sure we all remember the first you guys know those real jacks heads he's now that's percy

[8:05] jackson and the olympians right that's that movie i i was not aware of the book series it's based on

[8:10] until afterwards so i kept seeing posters for it i thought it was a band that's a pretty that's a

[8:14] pretty crappy name for a band old-fashioned name yeah yeah yeah uh so anyway uh alexander dario

[8:20] she's a high school teacher she's teaching her school and teaching a class about lord of the

[8:24] flies because and this also refers to annihilation a movie i saw yesterday and liked a lot uh every

[8:30] movie that involves a teacher the teacher can only be teaching something that speaks to the

[8:34] themes of the film and the themes of the movie and as often as like and as basically as introductory

[8:41] is possible yes uh this this now this this this scene got me excited for the movie because

[8:52] you guys probably know i'm not a huge fan of kids i don't like kids that much sure but this

[8:58] movie introduced me to a kid that i can endorse the child the the character demarius okay who's

[9:05] a young man who instead of reading lord of the flies he is reading some manga uh underneath his

[9:10] desk yeah uh and demarius i don't know he's just got this certain style like maybe it's the gold

[9:15] chain around his neck or the way he wears his glasses like he's jeffrey wright uh but man

[9:22] that kid's that kid's just awesome and like when called out by a lot of stuff going there's a lot

[9:28] of stuff going on with demarius that was very confusing like the way he dressed and his body

[9:33] type and his interest in manga and i was like they i think they tried to write this like as

[9:39] colorblind casting as possible yeah some and yet it somehow ended up being a character that makes

[9:45] no sense it was like this weird mix of like like black and white and nerd and cool kid and like

[9:52] grown-up and teen and i like demarius is all things i like he should be the hero of the movie

[9:58] now was he reading manga or was it like full-on hentai because i feel like they were talking about

[10:03] i mean how the tentacles were like penises in his in his words he was calling it manga so i'll just

[10:09] i'll accept what demarius says all right uh but the fact that like my guess is that my guess is

[10:14] that the people making this movie don't really know the difference yeah and assume all japanese

[10:19] comics has tentacle penises in it right and it's they've never read grave of the fireflies which

[10:24] has nary a tentacle penis to be found maybe maybe they have little like margin comics like

[10:29] masamune shira does of tentacle penises maybe possible uh but the thing about demarius is when

[10:37] called out by his teacher and it's revealed that he's reading uh comics under the table

[10:42] instead of being embarrassed he is like nope i'm going to start reading you dialogue and tech and

[10:48] panel descriptions she makes him but uh but he seems to be cool with it yeah with gusto he has

[10:55] no shame whatsoever he displays levels of confidence that only she can she can only hope

[11:01] to achieve or maybe she achieves by the end of the movie we'll find out yeah now uh that gets

[11:08] interrupted by uh the principal of the school uh rob cordry my old co-worker he comes in and now

[11:14] there's some cross-cutting back forth let's just say what happens with daddario first then we'll

[11:17] get to kate upton uh daddario is told by the principal that he would like her to resign so

[11:22] that he doesn't have to fire her yeah it's never it's never made clear why yeah i assume it's uh

[11:28] you know just funding issues because it doesn't seem like she's doing a bad job as a teacher

[11:33] other but she's also like an english teacher so it's not like this is a like a it's not an

[11:38] extracurricular type of class right it's outside of the main core school educational curriculum

[11:44] like i don't i don't get it anyway but she is she is disheartened by this clearly as she should be

[11:49] meanwhile her roommate and best friend kate upton is trying to sell unsafe north korean cosmetics

[11:57] to the buyer for a cosmetics company sounds funnier than it plays in the movie it plays very

[12:05] badly and it's also like she puts this lip gloss on and then it burns her lips and she has to

[12:09] pretend it's not burning and she runs out and it's like so am i supposed to sympathize with her

[12:13] because if she gets what she wants then she's going to hurt untold numbers of people i would

[12:18] like i would like a pre-credit sequence of her like establishing the connections to some north

[12:24] korean company that'll provide her these cosmetics that's the other thing is she's she's breaking

[12:29] international law which is or american embargo law which is pointed out like the the fbi should

[12:35] be investigating her right now like i don't know how she bought that stuff uh and then she goes

[12:40] outside to find that her car is towed and she utters the first of numerous swear words because

[12:46] one of kate upton's character one of her personality so we've already figured out here

[12:50] the two characters alexander daddario supposed to be like the good girl who wants to do good

[12:54] and kate upton is the bad girl who only wants to party yeah they are their roommates together in

[13:00] an enormous apartment i think it has four floors yeah it's a it's seattle dude you can get i mean

[13:06] uh like what real estate's not expensive in seattle right this is one of the many things

[13:12] that stressed me out about this movie because all right so the movie starts out with alexander

[13:18] daddario just being a teacher and having a teacher's salary and kate upton apparently just

[13:23] excuse me excuse me dan just being a teacher as if a teacher is not i just i just mean in terms of

[13:28] something to have pride about i'm talking about financial stability of being a teacher and like

[13:33] the understand i'm just busting your chops mccoy keep on keeping so she doesn't have any money

[13:38] kate upton is you know doing this cosmetic scam she presumably has no money and in the in the

[13:44] midst of this movie like and daddario gets fired so then they take a vacation she presumes that

[13:51] she's getting fired yeah um well i mean that's yeah the the way that money is dealt with in this

[13:58] movie is interesting because it's never really a it's never really an issue no they bring it up a

[14:04] lot they bring up specific pricings often yeah my guess is that both of these characters the

[14:11] backstory i gave them was they both have rich families and it's like they don't really have

[14:16] to worry about money but it's embarrassing to have to go ask mommy and daddy for more bucks

[14:20] because they throw they throw money around like crazy but yeah but you're right like one of them

[14:25] has no job and just bought 10 000 bottles of poisonous north korean lip gloss and the other

[14:30] one is working on a public school teacher salary she can't be that it's not like i mean she couldn't

[14:36] of been doing the job so long that she's built up a lot of money from seniority and and extra

[14:41] graduate degrees as how that's how it works when you're a teacher but uh so it's like i don't know

[14:46] but they they complain about money a lot but they never really seem to be in danger of running out

[14:50] of money now so they both cope with their their uh their business problems in different ways uh

[14:56] alexandra dadaro does a little bit of uh retail therapy and kate upton presumably like forces her

[15:03] uber driver into sex with her like the way that guy reacts to the situation seems very much more

[15:09] like a hostage yes he does now with here and you know that so you know that alexander dadar just

[15:15] everything about this is very cookie cutter like the way that they dress tells you everything you

[15:19] need to know you know that alexander dadar is the good girl because she wears professional clothes

[15:23] you know that kate upton's the bad girl because she doesn't wear pajama pants when she goes to

[15:27] sleep like that you kind of you always know in a movie if you see it if you see a grown woman in a

[15:33] movie wearing a shirt and pants to go to sleep you're like oh she's gonna have to bust out of

[15:37] her shell at some point yep because cool babes don't wear pants when they sleep which is crazy

[15:43] everyone wears pants when they sleep i don't wear pants when i sleep well but you're not everyone

[15:48] you're special yeah what am i supposed to wear wait like i'm supposed to wear like full button

[15:54] down pajamas my or slacks jeans overalls whatever you want to wear oh wow just makes my legs hot

[16:02] Yeah.

[16:02] Now, the two of them, we see them in their pajamas because they watch The Bachelor together and express their different romantic philosophies about whether they should compete and what's fair in love or war.

[16:16] And my notes, I don't remember what I'm referring to here, but I just say Upton is terrible and terrible is underlined several times.

[16:22] You mean her character or her performance?

[16:25] I'm not sure.

[16:27] It applies to both.

[16:28] Okay.

[16:30] I mean, no one is particularly good in this movie, but Kate Upton is, you can see why she is not setting the world on fire as an actress.

[16:38] I feel like people, well, I think performances vary, but yeah, for the most part, no.

[16:45] She would be the perfectly acceptable lead for like a Hallmark movie.

[16:50] Okay.

[16:51] I could see that, yeah.

[16:52] I could see that, Dan.

[16:55] And what's that movie about?

[16:57] It's about, so it's Christmas, and someone needs, her dad always used to go ice fishing, and she has a real connection to ice fishing because of that, but they're going to tear down the old ice fishing shack.

[17:16] And when they do, they find her dad's body.

[17:18] Now, Perry Hole is on the case.

[17:20] It's a Hallmark, Hall of Fame, Yo Nesbo.

[17:25] it's uh it's a it's a whole mark come on crossover yeah whole mark as she says that's all harry

[17:32] hallmark production oh boy so stewart what are we gonna say uh i don't fucking remember uh

[17:41] well we don't have time for it because kate upton just bought them last minute tickets to fort

[17:46] lauderdale that's right they're going to fort lickerdale for a little bit of uh bad girl

[17:51] vacationing is that is that what they call it troubles is like that's what uh my uh a co-worker

[17:57] of dan's who used to be a co-worker of mine as well one james don he grew up right near there

[18:01] and apparently yeah that they would uh that's what people would call it fort lickerdale okay

[18:05] he said it was a weird place to grow up because when you're a kid like all these tv commercials

[18:11] for like spring break crazy things to do so you're like you're like is this what grown-ups do

[18:16] like this uh uh they go this initiates the second part of the movie that created great anxiety in me

[18:24] because uh kate upton apparently in one of the throwaway lines it's kind of funny honestly

[18:30] alexander daddario said something like i told you you could have a bath or poach an egg but not both

[18:35] uh and in a better movie that would have gotten a laugh out of me but she apparently took a long

[18:41] time getting to the airport and they're stuck behind a big line and there's nothing that causes

[18:46] me more anxiety in a thing in a movie than people not taking travel seriously yeah i think we've

[18:54] talked about this uh what to me is when people on in movies or tv leave faucets running yeah okay

[19:00] is to you people who are like not giving enough care to their travel plans see the thing that

[19:05] really stressed me out when like i don't know like a convicted serial killer is left alone

[19:11] with a child and then he just wanders away free like that stresses me out one movie i don't know

[19:19] i'm a little bit crazy that's one of my my quirks yeah uh stewart are you forgetting that that was

[19:25] the breakout lovable character of the movie yeah the movie by national acclaim the character that

[19:31] the movie ends on before

[19:33] like doing a happy version

[19:36] of Sweet Home Alabama

[19:37] apparently making me happy

[19:39] that he you're forgetting that

[19:41] he escaped are you forgetting

[19:43] that Bill Clinton awarded that character

[19:46] the Presidential Medal of Freedom

[19:47] because America so fell in love with this

[19:49] this serial killer who

[19:51] it's described as him driving cross country

[19:53] with a little girl's head tied to his head

[19:55] like a hat and

[19:57] that is somehow the character who's now like

[19:59] the adorable mascot for the film

[20:01] is that what bothers you thanks for reminding me because i remember when bill clinton awarded that

[20:06] character that medal he actually he had to go to that magical movie theater from last action hero

[20:10] and travel into the movie universe so he could hand that metal to steve buscemi's character

[20:15] i think now you're i think you may be misremembering the cosmology of last

[20:20] action hero that it was a magic ticket and not a magic theater but yes otherwise exactly correct

[20:25] so wait i could just take that fucking magic ticket to any old like movie pass

[20:30] yeah that's how that's how the that's how death from the seventh seal comes up and it starts

[20:35] walking around do you think that was playing at the same theater as the latest arnold schwarzenegger

[20:40] jack what's his name cop actually i mean that kind of sounds like the alamo draft house is

[20:44] programming schedule but touche good point by the way i'm betting that my movie pass reference is

[20:50] going to be what dates this podcast like by the time we actually release it it's gonna have gone

[20:54] under i mean i'm shocked that it hasn't i have a one of my employees is like has been has been

[21:01] keeping a movie pass journal about of how much he has spent on movie pass and how many dollars

[21:08] worth of tickets he has bought on movie pass and it's something like 10 times the amount of money

[21:13] wow it's like he's yeah but he's made he has cost movie pass like 800 dollars

[21:17] except he's not the the movie is not the product not the product he is the product the whole thing

[21:25] is just to collect data on people's movie going and purchasing habits so they can clone the same

[21:31] the same way that people are like all this internet stuff it's totally free it's not free

[21:36] dude if it's free then you're what's being sold anyway welcome to chapo trap house we got to talk

[21:41] about some stuff yeah is that the kind of stuff they talk about i have no idea i thought it was

[21:48] all like simpsons references i i don't like titles that rhyme so i've been avoiding dan i we talked

[21:56] about this uh i'm uh i'm always just afraid to listen to it because it's a trap yeah i don't

[22:04] in the title yeah yeah yeah it's right there anyway so uh they go to fort so they have this

[22:11] i gotta say this this line sequence where this is when in the movie i thought there's a chance that

[22:16] maybe it was uh because i was watching on a plane and the altitude was affecting my brain

[22:21] but this is when i i thought that i might have been hearing things are going crazy

[22:25] because it seemed like this is the start of the movie using sound editing to splice in little

[22:31] noises to like punch up some of the scenes okay so when she is uh she's trying to get uh you know

[22:38] jump to the front of line by revealing that she packed underpants in her in her bag i thought i

[22:46] heard like little moaning sounds like sex noises and then later on i think those might i think

[22:52] those might have been in there yeah okay so i'm not going crazy so she is now she's gonna try to

[22:57] get to the front of the line to get some extra help from the guy at the desk by making him think

[23:01] about her wearing underpants by show it by showing her his the underpants she's packed uh he helps

[23:07] and then they get to the security line where she eats a hot dog and chugs an entire dr pepper

[23:12] and it's like and at that point i'm like i feel like i have gone through some kind of gender

[23:18] reversing cabinet and then used a magic movie ticket into this movie because that's how i like

[23:23] to travel that's you really you really identified with that character i've often thought you're a

[23:30] kate upton type yeah yeah yeah yeah where did she where did she get that that crazy sausage and

[23:36] peppers in the airport i don't know having spent a bunch of time she brought it with her okay that

[23:41] makes sense that's why they were late yeah they were late because she was making a sausage and

[23:45] peppers uh sausage on a bun with peppers and onions and she poached an egg uh this again this

[23:51] is the caricature you see every now and then of like she's supposed to be that much more attractive

[23:56] because she likes guy stuff but she's also kind of gross uh-huh and uh and so and when she was

[24:01] forced to chug that uh that dr pepper uh not really forced i mean she chose to do it uh but

[24:08] while she was doing it i think they spliced in background audio of people like saying awesome

[24:14] okay or maybe that was just me saying it under my breath

[24:19] you're a real layover detective i missed all these uh extra clues

[24:24] each one is necessary to solve the mystery at the heart of the film i was i was in

[24:31] what i consider to be and what my friend christopher nolan considers to be the perfect

[24:35] viewing environment which is on a uh on a cross-country flight watching a movie on an ipad

[24:41] yeah there is no outside you and your friend chris talk about that a lot yeah me and chrissy

[24:48] uh we yeah we talk about how we like to watch movies like that and uh yeah the smaller the

[24:54] screen the better he says now uh here's the note i have for their their time on the plane

[25:00] daddario is a bad flyer and upton's brassy and burpy yeah uh now because she's an anxious nerd

[25:07] type daddario is and i at this point i did not know either of these characters names we're probably

[25:12] 15 minutes into the movie it took so long before i picked up what these characters there's a there's

[25:17] a meg right a meg and katie meg is i think kate upton is meg all right and meg is the is uh they're

[25:26] both named after a peter bench label so she's meg and alexander daddario is jaws okay uh so she's uh

[25:36] alexander dario is the anxious character so of course she's like i don't fly well

[25:39] and kate upton is just burping like crazy and of course there's a sassy gay flight attendant who

[25:46] has to comment on all of her burps yeah well because apparently this movie is stupid apparently

[25:51] her burps like stink like farts uh the way that everyone reacts to them i mean i mean i i've

[25:59] encountered a smelly burp or two in my time but nothing to the degree that this movie would have

[26:04] us believe is possible you would think she ate a skunk yeah the skunk is living in her throat

[26:09] and just spraying musk out of her mouth yeah yep um well i'm gonna say i take this as a compliment

[26:16] because i know i've had some stinky burps around dan but i'm glad that dan has forgotten that and

[26:20] not called me out on it okay so she's burping up a storm daddario is is getting very anxious uh and

[26:28] eventually take some some play some plain pills uh when who sits in between them but kind of kind

[26:34] of like a budget matthew mcconaughey type yeah like how would you guys describe this i would

[26:38] describe him as a will director william h macy cypher i mean he does seem like i mean matthew

[26:46] mcconaughey is right in that he seems like the kind of guy who probably would take his shirt

[26:50] off and play some drums yeah that's cool yeah and maybe he has a puka shell necklace someplace

[26:57] uh-huh probably he also has the same haircut that william h macy has he has the same bit of beard

[27:04] that william h macy has i mean i feel like this is a pretty direct one-to-one correlation it's

[27:09] like woody allen casting nebbishy dudes in place of himself that's he is a he is a younger buff

[27:15] sort of stretched out william h macy yeah well i yeah that's true i mean i think by saying buff

[27:21] you're saying that william h macy's a buff and i mean he is pretty cut he's pretty in he's in

[27:26] so you would call him let's for lack of a better word let's call him william h hunky and the h also

[27:30] stands for hunky okay now i want to so his name is william hunky do we have to do we have to say

[27:35] that full name every time we refer to the character on the podcast uh if we want this to have any sort

[27:40] of cohesion consistency then yes of course i i want to take a moment to say uh as this character

[27:47] is being introduced that i cannot think of a bigger cipher for these two women to be interested

[27:53] in he is the most boring guy that i think i've seen in a movie like beyond his looks there is

[28:01] absolutely nothing that i could see would entice these women and he's not even that like he's a

[28:07] good-looking guy but he's not an adonis but the minute he sits down they act as if fucking apollo

[28:13] himself just sat between them like this is oh my god like they can't even they have to take their

[28:18] eyes away because the radiance of his beauty is burning their corneas out like they they react to

[28:24] him the way that like i it's hard you would think that like a hypnosis ray was placed over the the

[28:30] plane or like the purple man walked by and was like hey the guy who sits next to you is the most

[28:35] handsome man who's ever lived like they're just so crazy over him and but i mean i think it's

[28:40] but they introduced the fact that both of them were big fans of the television show the bachelor

[28:45] and i don't think this guy's any more boring than any of the bachelor contestants well i mean yeah

[28:52] sure that's a good indictment of the bachelor but but i mean but they're but they make a point of

[28:57] saying how interested in former bachelors they both were well and he's he's a fireman which is

[29:03] uh i did like the needle drop when he uh revealed he was a fireman yeah and i like i was on the

[29:11] plane and i started looking around like are you seeing this uh now unfortunately so they're they

[29:19] both start flirting with him and compete and there's this so kate upton starts flirting and

[29:23] daddario gets a look on her face like someone flipped a switch in her brain she's like oh no

[29:28] i'm gonna flirt with him too and they are like if this was at a certain point i was like is this

[29:34] gonna turn into a porno and they're just gonna open up his fly and start taking his penis out

[29:39] like the way they are like so obviously presenting to him yeah i mean you looked at the rating of the

[29:44] movie you looked at the rating of the movie and you're like they're probably gonna start

[29:48] pulling out his penis and having hardcore sex in this movie i would have so much respect for

[29:55] a movie that just started out like a really stupid r-rated comedy and then in the middle

[29:59] there was the hardest core sex scene and then the movie doesn't reference it again wow right now dan

[30:06] is saying i respect vincent gallo movies all right you make a good point yeah uh i guess what i'm

[30:16] saying is uh they uh they're they're clearly an estrus and are doing what they can to get him

[30:22] interested in them at this at this point we've been introduced to both of these characters

[30:26] and they have been revealed to not not be particularly good friends to each other

[30:30] they have not been revealed to be good at their jobs or particularly like maybe they have

[30:36] charming quirks maybe but nothing particular nothing really stands out about them and then

[30:42] so you're like okay so they're going to be fighting over this man at least maybe the draw

[30:46] of this movie is not that we like these characters but that they're very good at this this like this

[30:52] like cat and mouse spy versus spy type situation but no they're both terrible at hitting on this

[30:57] man yeah but they're gonna get a lot of chances because there's a storm that forces them to land

[31:05] in st louis uh and i i have to say that i have never seen uh people who have had their plane

[31:12] forced down in a city that's like not really close to where they're going uh take it in such stride

[31:19] like the dude is especially when the dude is supposed is he has to get to florida for a way

[31:25] yeah but he seems kind of mildly upset about it yeah and the other two he also seems like a guy

[31:31] not a lot of bad stuff has happened to his whole life yeah things have been pretty easy for

[31:37] william h hunky he's like william h hunky is like john ham in that 30 rock episode where he's just

[31:43] used to having things handed to him on a platter because he's a handsome guy and let's not forget

[31:48] that our heroes uh and i use that term lightly because they're bad people that are the heroes

[31:54] of the movie are like dandelion seeds in the wind like they were already on an impulse flight to

[31:59] fort lauderdale who knows where life will take them like they're kind of in they're just taking

[32:04] whatever in yeah they're like you know st louis is pretty good too i mean it's basically the saint

[32:09] the fort lauderdale of the west we'll go to the city museum we'll see the arch hey did you know

[32:17] that did you know that uh the plessy v ferguson case had some interesting things actually it

[32:22] wasn't plessy v ferguson it was uh what's the other really bad i think you could have gotten

[32:27] away with that one i don't think either of us was gonna be true uh i'm getting my i'm getting my bad

[32:33] supreme court decision so they should they show up at the hotel scott to say did you know dread

[32:38] scott was around here that's what it would have been they show up at the hotel and we're introduced

[32:42] to one of the bigger name stars in the movie cal penn playing a uh a hotel manager and we see a

[32:49] scene of him basically going through all the stuff that you go over with a hotel uh receptionist

[32:57] With no jokes.

[32:58] Yeah, there's no jokes at all.

[32:59] We see the whole scene.

[33:00] Yeah, the use of Cal Penn in this movie is baffling

[33:03] because he is not given anything to do.

[33:06] And you're like, why is a name actor in this role?

[33:08] I think we already mentioned it, Dan.

[33:11] He got a free trip to St. Louis out of the vehicle.

[33:13] I will say this.

[33:15] They have to stay at a Sheraton.

[33:17] And the St. Louis Sheraton gets the glamour treatment in this movie.

[33:21] Beauty shots of the hotel.

[33:22] There's a scene where the characters walk into the room

[33:24] and talk about how it's not that bad.

[33:26] It's pretty nice, actually.

[33:27] There's apparently a hot nightclub in the Sheridan that has a big Sheridan logo projected onto the wall.

[33:35] It's like, at a certain point, I'm like, am I watching a commercial for Sheridan?

[33:39] I thought this was a movie.

[33:40] And the pool that they have, the guest pool, has a section that's deep enough for diving.

[33:46] Yeah.

[33:47] Pretty good.

[33:49] Pretty sweet.

[33:50] Yeah.

[33:50] Let's all go there.

[33:51] I mean, it looks like the St. Louis Sheridan is where we got to be.

[33:54] Yeah.

[33:56] we can meet cal penn he works there uh they're all staying at the same hotel them and the hunky

[34:03] guy and so they make plans to see him and there's this very weird scene there's a jeweler's convention

[34:08] yeah oh and there's also a jeweler's convention on and the jewelers as we'll find out are a bunch

[34:13] of what of losers you know they're kind of lamos uh we there's a weird scene where daddario kind

[34:19] of says that she doesn't think she's beautiful and kate upton is like no come on you're beautiful

[34:23] and i'm like come on movie like what are you doing yeah this i do i don't believe this for

[34:28] a moment but the bigger problem is kate upton's bag is missing and daddario will not share her

[34:34] dress for their hot evening at the sheraton nightclub with william h hunky yeah so what

[34:39] is she gonna do she can't go to a store and buy a dress she would need money for that and they

[34:44] only have unlimited money yeah so what do they do well they go to cal pin and uh daddario uh or

[34:52] sorry uh upton uh basically blackmails him into giving him giving her his mother's dress by

[35:00] threatening a bad yelp review now this is where this character lost any sympathy i could have

[35:07] as a small business owner i know of the power that yelp has over uh bars restaurants and hotels

[35:16] yeah so that is bullshit dude yeah mom and pop operations like sheraton

[35:21] uh so yeah kate upton shows up in a like would you is it a sari or is it just like a very fancy

[35:30] indian dress they make a joke about a nice she calls it a sari damn yeah okay yeah it looks like

[35:36] a nice sari it looks like the kind of sari an older woman would wear on a on a regular day or

[35:42] to a to a nice restaurant but everyone acts as if she's dressed as she's cinderella yeah walking

[35:47] into the room like everyone's and it's so weird because it's like everyone's heads are turned

[35:51] and she's wearing the most shapeless dress i think any i think she's probably worn in her life like

[35:57] it shows nothing about her and she should be like it just it's another case where they're like okay

[36:03] the thing that we have on screen doesn't really live up to what the script needs it to be but

[36:06] can everybody like amp up their reaction as if this is the most beautiful dress you've ever seen

[36:11] flipping out super sexy and everybody starts flipping out there's a shot of a guy pouring

[36:15] an orange soda all over himself out of surprise there's a guy whose eyes pop out of his head

[36:20] like his tongue unfurls yep not not to make my second someone taking their penis out reference

[36:26] but it's uh jonah hill from wolf of wall street just starts masturbating in front of everybody

[36:30] like he does to margot robbie in that uh that is the weirdest moment in that movie by the way

[36:36] in a movie full of strange moments

[36:38] the weirdest one is when Jonah Hill just starts

[36:40] masturbating and at a party in front of everybody

[36:42] and everyone is like hey come on

[36:44] they don't act they're not like they're just like

[36:46] mildly miffed they're not disgusting

[36:48] do they ever reveal is that in

[36:50] the movie was that a prosthetic penis

[36:52] or was that Jonah Hill's actual penis

[36:54] oh no that's his real one he calls

[36:56] it Jonah's hill I was doing a bit

[36:58] of a deep dive in celebrity penises

[37:00] yesterday yeah

[37:02] mainly focused around my man Willem Dafoe

[37:04] uh and yeah apparently he's packing a monster um i was reading a guardian article where one of the

[37:12] the paragraphs uh opens with of course all women find him gorgeous and i was like you know wait

[37:19] yeah let's pump pump those brakes for a second i'm sure he's got a magnetic personality he seems

[37:25] very exciting and interesting but i feel like of course like come on like you're underestimating

[37:30] the number of women that have a gargoyle fetish i mean i guess i mean you're essentially you're

[37:36] you're comparing him i guess to international teen heartthrob klaus kinski

[37:39] anyway let's we should speed through some of this there's a jewel convention the jewelers hit on

[37:46] upton and daddario and kate upton says that she's a federal agent she's gonna throw them away or i

[37:52] don't know she just threatens them to let them go they hang out with molly shannon who uh is one of

[37:57] He's hilariously oversexed with her lover that she's with.

[38:01] And they find out the Stormin's getting worse.

[38:04] They're going to be stuck in St. Louis a little longer.

[38:06] We're introduced to the other main character of the movie, Matt Jones,

[38:10] the guy who played Badger on Breaking Bad, who plays one of the nerdy jewelers.

[38:15] Yeah, and he's the only one in the movie, I think, that exhibits any charm.

[38:18] And it's certainly not from the way he's written.

[38:21] It's just because he's a charming actor.

[38:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's fun.

[38:25] And then we watch everybody dancing for a long time.

[38:28] This dance sequence goes on so fucking long.

[38:31] What are you talking about?

[38:33] I thought it went along exactly long enough for a big joke about an accidental nudity that you don't actually see.

[38:42] Yeah.

[38:43] Kate Upton, she spins around in her sari and one of her boobs falls out.

[38:48] can't it is tastefully framed so that we don't see it because the uh because what would what

[38:54] would ruin a supposed love triangle sex comedy more than seeing a boo and here's something i'm

[39:01] just going to mention right now that uh this movie and again i'm going to sound like a gross

[39:05] gross hetero guy saying this but okay let me buckle my seatbelt yeah well okay the ratio of

[39:13] yeah buckle up it's gonna be a hot take that's gonna make me a lot of enemies i'm gonna be very

[39:16] unwoke right now i'm sleeping the uh the ratio of actual guys butts that we see in the movie which

[39:23] is two the ratio of that to promised boobs which we do not see which is zero we never see or

[39:29] infinity because we never see any but we're constantly promised boobs is very seems very

[39:33] off to me it seems strange for this movie and it makes me think like was william h macy saying to

[39:39] himself i'm gonna make like a gross out romantic comedy for women where like they get to objectify

[39:44] people it he doesn't succeed in that but maybe that's what he was going for so he's like it's

[39:49] time for the guys to be to put their meat on display and the women they don't have to do this

[39:53] so yeah what do you think the creative process started with the director william h macy he was

[39:57] like i want that to be my next project so i'll get the guy who played rickety cricket on it's

[40:03] always sunny in philadelphia to write me a screenplay about ladies just getting their own

[40:09] thing yeah i mean i think that's what it was he's william h macy said i'm gonna strike a blow against

[40:14] william h misogyny and give women the movie that they okay i mean it's weird because this movie

[40:19] it does like it does seem like it wants to try both things like the movie wants to be about

[40:25] female friendship but then it shows female friendship in the most unflattering light

[40:30] it shows it like they're terrible friends yeah as soon as like a guy enters the picture they're

[40:35] gonna be uh at each other's throat and of course the movie is completely boob obsessed like i feel

[40:41] Like that is why William H. Macy signed on to the picture because he's like, OK, this will just give me the chance to showcase as much cleavage as I want to put on the – like I'm not –

[40:52] He was offered – they said, William H., two scripts came in for you to direct as your sophomore effort.

[40:56] OK, tell me about them.

[40:57] One is called The Layover.

[40:58] Does it have boobs in it?

[40:59] Yes.

[41:00] The other one is called Mudbound, and it's kind of – it's a story about interracial friendship in the 1940s in the Deep South.

[41:08] How many boobs are in it?

[41:09] Well, no boobs, but all right.

[41:10] Then I'm doing the other one. Layover it is.

[41:12] I love that we're just imparting these motives to William H. Mason.

[41:17] I mean, I don't know. I think we're just reading between the lines, Dan.

[41:21] Yeah.

[41:22] I'm trying to think at this point, you know, they continue their conquest after this guy.

[41:31] Pretty quickly, I'm like, is this guy intentionally torturing the two of them?

[41:36] Is he just like pitting them against each other to see how far he can go?

[41:40] Like, he's some kind of, like, Luciferian, like, gentleman-caller demon who's shown up to try and, like, get them to kill each other?

[41:49] It's a good point.

[41:49] Because there's no way that he can't tell that they're into him.

[41:53] Like, the way that they're behaving.

[41:54] Oh, no, he totally knows it.

[41:55] But he is, as we find out later, he plans to have sex with both of them.

[42:00] And he's just kind of pretending that he's oblivious in order to be the guy that they to keep it going to to get them to a fevered pitch of hornosity in which they can't keep their hands off.

[42:10] Yeah.

[42:10] And so anyway, they go through a series of adventures.

[42:14] They hang out and go to on a hot air balloon.

[42:16] Of course, that's not good for D'Addario because she's afraid of heights.

[42:19] But William H.

[42:20] Hunky soothes her as they bond over singing a pink song together.

[42:23] The hot air balloon pilot only has one eye.

[42:26] There's almost no jokes attached to it, and it doesn't make any sense.

[42:30] Kate Upton buys champagne and insults to Dario.

[42:33] Here's where I have the note.

[42:34] Why are they friends?

[42:35] And hits the pilot in his good eye with the champagne.

[42:37] And where does that guy keep the champagne up there?

[42:41] Like, does he have, like, a bag of holding?

[42:44] Where's the champagne?

[42:45] It's certainly not properly chilled.

[42:48] It's right underneath the fire that they use to keep the balloon.

[42:51] No, he has a refrigerated blue apron box that he's got in it.

[42:53] Oh, I see.

[42:55] Oh, blue apron.

[42:56] Dan, we're not supposed to promote anything else during the Max Fun Fiction.

[42:58] Okay.

[42:58] Anyway, so the – and here's one of these things that I feel like this is the kind of thing that is a – it's like an unintentional racism or maybe it's a – maybe it's a subtext about how white people kind of can go around stomping on everything that the only Indian character is Cal Penn's character who is blackmailed into giving up his mother's own dress.

[43:22] The only black character is a one-eyed man whose other eye gets attacked by this kind of white floozy's champagne cork hitting him in the face.

[43:31] And then when the hot air balloon lands, it literally crushes the birthday cake of a Latino boy.

[43:35] Yep.

[43:36] And it's like this movie is just kind of like – this movie could have been called like white people ruining other people's day obliviously.

[43:45] just this just this trail of destruction as they destroy minorities livelihoods their health yeah

[43:53] their most precious day of the year their birthday uh so the the uh they eventually find

[44:01] uh kate upton's suitcase which is great it means they can go swimming she has a bathing suit oh

[44:05] we're still talking about these things oh yeah she walks out she attracts all the jeweler guys

[44:11] that's not what she wants meanwhile daddario does that old favorite cuts her own bathing suit up to

[44:16] make it really tiny so that she's showing off more skin now i'm not a seamstress is that possible i

[44:21] don't know it is an amazing like fredericks of hollywood uh suit that she comes yeah i mean at

[44:27] that point i'm like oh now there's a reason i have to root for this character because she's

[44:31] exhibiting a skill i mean her outfit her her dress looks far better than any of reynolds woodcock's

[44:39] outfits in Phantom Thread, let me tell you.

[44:42] Wow, hot take on Phantom Thread.

[44:47] Hey, I'm just saying the dresses look bad.

[44:49] I did like how the guys at the Jewelers Convention were eating in a hot tub.

[44:56] I mean, I think that's always a good look.

[44:58] I think that's a cool way because there's nothing better than being hot

[45:01] and eating hot food at the same time.

[45:03] It's called living in the tropics.

[45:07] That's why they eat spicy food in hot places.

[45:09] But Stuart, to piggyback on, you were talking about all the sound effects that were added in to the movie.

[45:14] This is the part where when Daddario is walking by in her newly shorn bathing suit, we do hear like wolf whistles inserted into the background.

[45:22] And that moment made me feel very icky because I was like, look, guys, let me just pull back the veil.

[45:27] I'm just a guy.

[45:29] I'm not above my base animal instincts.

[45:31] Did I go into this wanting to see Alexander Daddario with no clothes on?

[45:35] Yes, I did, of course.

[45:37] And so I was like, oh, okay, I want to see her in this skimpy bathing suit.

[45:41] And then I heard that wolf whistle in the background, and I was like, oh, I'm a monster.

[45:44] I feel terrible now.

[45:45] Yeah, it's like when you're talking to your dad about movies, and he reveals that a much younger actress is attractive.

[45:53] You're like, I can never watch this movie ever again, Dad.

[45:56] Maybe that wolf whistle was the film indicting you, Elliot.

[46:01] Maybe it was like Funny Games.

[46:02] Yeah, it's like Funny Games.

[46:03] It felt like it, yeah. Or like what Sucker Punch tried so hard to do and failed to do, the layover did within that one moment where it was like, oh, you like this? Well, you're an asshole for liking it. Oh, man, you're right, the layover. Really rough.

[46:18] So we get a competitive diving sequence.

[46:20] That turns into them performing the sexiest of sports, diving. And Kate Upton accidentally hits her face on the pool, which is terrible.

[46:32] Anyway, there's another scene with Molly Shannon, because I guess they hired her for two scenes, where she reveals that she's actually there with, she's the mistress of the guy she's with, and she says, you gotta go for what you want.

[46:43] And they find out that the hunky guy is gonna leave and drive to Fort Lauderdale with the jeweler, played by, what's his name?

[46:49] I think it's Matt Jones.

[46:51] Matt Jones.

[46:52] Badger from Breaking Bad.

[46:55] And the girls decide to go along, too.

[46:58] They have a road trip, and it is so boring.

[47:01] Yeah.

[47:02] It is.

[47:02] There's like no jokes.

[47:03] It's just them singing along to music on the radio.

[47:06] They're playing different road game, like road word games.

[47:09] There's burping.

[47:10] This movie is 90 minutes long and it is not tight.

[47:14] There are scenes that are clearly just in there to pad out the time, like as if this was a television show and they added like, you know, like a car chase or something because they're like, I don't know what else to do.

[47:26] This thing's got to be an hour long.

[47:28] Well, it's like they want to give a bunch of filler so that when the jokes do hit, you're ready for them.

[47:36] You know, you're like, oh, man, I've been dying for some laughs.

[47:39] Yeah.

[47:41] It's just like the Night Watchman scene in Macbeth, where you're like, oh, after all that tension when he's murdering King Duncan, I need some larps.

[47:50] Okay, here we go.

[47:51] Yeah, it's the Shakespearean model, the layover.

[47:56] Yeah.

[47:57] The layover's just like Macbeth, says Elliot Kaelin.

[48:00] So this is when both characters go to a place that makes it hard for me to ever be sympathetic to them ever again.

[48:07] Where Daddario shows everyone a childhood photo of Kate Upton's character wearing a helmet she needed to fix a malformed skull that everyone made fun of when she was a kid.

[48:18] And it's like, at this point, and then Kate Upton responds by blocking the door of a gas station bathroom that Daddari was in, trapping her there, I assume to start.

[48:30] Let's unpack this first part.

[48:33] I don't know about you guys, but I don't think I've ever been shown a picture of a person when they're younger and been like, oh, I think much less of you now because that's what you look like as a child.

[48:46] Yeah.

[48:47] Especially when it's a it's like a it's a physical defect that was fixed.

[48:51] It's like, oh, you were born with a problem and then you solved it.

[48:55] You know what? You're a loser. Yeah.

[48:57] It doesn't matter to me that you're beautiful now.

[48:59] When you were a kid, your skull was was misshapen.

[49:02] So at this point, I can never date you. I'm going to go with your friend.

[49:05] Yeah. So that that was crazy. But then let's talk about this bathroom.

[49:10] First off, there's a big W written on it, which I'm assuming stands for women's or maybe water closet.

[49:16] but i'm assuming it stands for women's of course an old home a uh i'm assuming homeless man i don't

[49:22] want to like shame him based on his outfit but that's what kind of have them no for all you know

[49:27] he's one of those very wealthy people who dresses up like a hobo and gets lost for a few weeks and

[49:32] then comes back and puts on an armani suit like at the beginning of the first issue of wildcats

[49:36] yeah he's uh he's a walking phoenix so uh she goes she a walking phoenix like a phoenix that

[49:42] Walks around.

[49:43] So she goes into this washroom before being barricaded inside.

[49:49] And this women's room has an out-of-order urinal.

[49:52] So I'm assuming it became the women's room when the urinal was out of order.

[49:56] Sure.

[49:57] It used to be unisex and the urinal broke.

[50:00] They went, eh, it's a woman's room now.

[50:01] And at that point, and then she uses it and then doesn't flush, which is like, now you're just contributing to the problem, lady.

[50:10] but finally she gets some comeuppance when she ends up stepping in her own filth and other

[50:15] people's filth yeah this is a and other people's of course because this is a comedy this is a gross

[50:20] bathroom this is like the train spotting bathroom basically but because that is never funny i did

[50:27] not laugh like i did not like that when you go into a gross bathroom yeah i don't like the idea

[50:32] of someone wallowing in filth you're like that's how people get sick all right yeah you can get

[50:38] sick it's literally what killed most people for centuries was that kind of illness but what are

[50:45] you gonna do it's hilarious i mean i did think it was kind of funny when she uh wrapped her arms and

[50:50] legs in toilet paper to create some kind of a buffer which of course doesn't work she breaks

[50:56] the sink and then she escapes and i don't think she tells anyone she broke the sink like at that

[51:02] point they're just breaking shit but i will i do have to give alexander daddario credit at this

[51:07] point because she her look of like rage and anger is really awesome like she plays super crazy angry

[51:16] really well i think she was probably tapping into the real emotions she was feeling of about having

[51:21] to perform that scene and be in this movie sure yeah where she was just like i'm gonna let all my

[51:27] all my anger at william h macy for commissioning this screenplay off of an original idea i assume

[51:32] me had and and then casting me unit using some sort of blackmail that he held over me that i'm

[51:38] going to use that right now and then director william h macy was like good work good work that

[51:42] was great anyway uh i gotta go i gotta go uh shoot another episode of shameless so uh just

[51:47] do whatever in front of the cameras and we'll figure it out later yeah just throw more poop on

[51:51] her yeah she does this whole scene and i have to it's like and then i i imagine she does this long

[51:58] scene and it's like a tour de force and she's screaming it's like isabella johnny in the subway

[52:02] tunnels in uh in possession in uh possession where she's just vomiting white liquid and rolling

[52:08] around on the wet floors and she does that and then william h macy he goes cut and then he just

[52:13] stands there for a moment he goes needs more poop and she has to do it again what a what a sadist

[52:20] anyway they leave uh she uh she's screaming around she screams and hoes herself they get back in the

[52:26] car uh the guy gives to dario a massage and she makes over the top satisfaction sound i'll have

[52:32] what she's having etc kate kate upton in an attempt to as a friend would when in a romantic competition

[52:38] in an attempt to drug her best friend with champagne with pills in it she accidentally

[52:43] drugs the driver of the car badger and he goes off the they all fall what i love he goes off

[52:49] the road and breaks the headlights there's a better way to do this scene but i love that

[52:54] after there's a better way to do every scene in the movie i mean i was hoping because they that

[52:58] you know they cut to people in the car and they cut to him like getting drowsy behind the wheel

[53:03] and i was really hoping he was gonna cut over to her in the passenger side seat like

[53:07] looking terrified but not wanting to say anything but instead she did the more terrible thing which

[53:12] is just go to sleep like who would do that yeah at that point she's like well i'm gonna usher

[53:18] myself off to dreamland i will probably not be able to wake up because i'll have

[53:22] but I'll be crossing the river Styx.

[53:25] She's like,

[53:26] you know what?

[53:27] I've accomplished everything I meant to in my life on this trip.

[53:30] And so now I leave myself in the arms of Morpheus to ferry me off to

[53:35] Charon and then Charon to take me to the Elysian fields.

[53:38] Because at this point she's like,

[53:40] it's like,

[53:42] what's a movie where someone gracefully commits suicide having finished

[53:47] their work on earth?

[53:48] Is there one?

[53:48] Alien three.

[53:49] Yeah.

[53:51] Yeah.

[53:52] Yeah, she's just like Sigourney Weaver hurling herself into the pit of fire.

[53:55] Anyway, they go back to it.

[54:00] They stop at a different hotel for the night because they can't get a car.

[54:03] It's too late.

[54:04] Kate Upton has a drink with Badger.

[54:06] So this is a moment where they have sex with William H. Hunky.

[54:09] And they talk to the manager of the hotel and he after they had all passed out in the car and they talk to the manager of the hotel and he's like, oh, yeah, and there's a restaurant next door.

[54:20] it doesn't it closes at 10 and at that point i'm like wait a minute what fucking time do they fall

[54:25] asleep if they still have time to get dinner it's before 10 yeah i mean it's on a long car ride you

[54:33] get drowsy i understand that i'm you know what there's something about the motion of the car

[54:37] the vibration of the seat underneath you and the warmth when you're inside a car for a long time

[54:41] that takes us back to the womb and so in that moment where we've reached that utter place of

[54:48] comfort where we cannot stay awake because we're like okay i'm back in the in the amniotic fluid

[54:53] this is the safest and most complete i've ever been in my life before i was born i'm gonna catch

[54:58] some z's see you later by the way i drugged your shit i'd prefer you not uh do practice pitches

[55:03] for car commercials on our podcast now i'd like to do now i'd like to do a car commercial where

[55:11] there's a car that's kind of that's driving a little erratically and you go inside and everyone

[55:16] in it is asleep but like really

[55:17] comfortably and it's like

[55:19] yeah it's that comfortable

[55:21] the new town and country

[55:23] now this

[55:26] sex scene though that happens between Daddario

[55:28] and William H. Hunky I gotta say

[55:30] like other than the fact that

[55:32] Daddario keeps all of her clothes on

[55:33] I was sort of shocked by how

[55:36] not explicit this sex scene was

[55:37] but like it

[55:39] went on for a while and they like ran through

[55:41] like all of the positions basically

[55:43] all the jokes that they could do during this sex

[55:46] scene i mean and they're also it's a very vigorous sex yeah i mean it has none of the it has none of

[55:52] the graceful languor of say a cinemax soft core sex scene which usually has a lot more light

[55:57] touching and rose it was a little off-putting because it it began like the first moment that

[56:01] we realized that this guy's into her he grabs her boob which is a little fucked up like come on dude

[56:07] that was his opening gambit was a boob and then he says something like i'm gonna put my mouth on

[56:12] your mouth now or something or i'm gonna kiss you on like he's already he's already not asking

[56:17] consent man fuck that but uh the uh yeah the sex scene now i was watching as i said watching this

[56:24] on a plane uh i i did not feel uncomfortable watching this on the plane it was not that

[56:29] explicit my wife felt much worse while she was watching forgetting sarah marshall and was uh

[56:35] reminded uh by the amount of pieces she saw in the movie um but yeah i mean i i feel like they

[56:43] they did their best to play it for goofs uh we get uh we get to see shots of this guy's

[56:48] totally jacked bod that's pretty awesome oh yeah finally see what all that firefighting

[56:54] has been doing for him yeah uh anyway the so they have she has she has sex with him and

[57:01] it's like uh the old hallelujah chorus comes in call what's his name who does that song who's the

[57:07] guy leonard cohen musician who does that song yeah call leonard cohen because it's hallelujah

[57:12] someone had sex and it changed the handle are you talking about handle get handle on the phone

[57:19] dan get used to it that's not the hallelujah anyone thinks about okay only the leonard cohen

[57:26] one i like to believe leonard cohen when he saw the song hallelujah when he finished writing it

[57:31] he went fuck you there's a new hallelujah i will say i think watchmen would have been a thousand

[57:38] times better if they use handles for shit yeah just the hallelujah chorus over it i mean at

[57:45] least it would have been like an over-the-top joke which would have been funny but was there

[57:50] ever a time when the hallelujah chorus was not used ironically when it was like people heard it

[57:55] they were like oh yeah this is an ecstatic a shout of joy to god well i mean certainly not

[58:00] not in a movie i mean i've i've witnessed i've witnessed the hallelujah chorus i mean i've

[58:05] witnessed uh the whole what's what's it called the the whole thing i can't remember christmas

[58:11] later mouse oh boy you know what i'm talking about baby's day out yeah i've witnessed the

[58:17] whole baby's day out and you know it's uh you know on its own it's still a spiritual kind of

[58:23] experience you're saying that it's it's more powerful when seen in say either a church or

[58:28] an orchestral setting handles messiah handles messiah that was what i was trying to think yeah

[58:32] sorry handles oh that's right it's called the messiah that's right uh anyway that opens up a

[58:37] whole other can of worms but anyway we don't need to talk about messiahs but uh the they find out

[58:42] although william h hunky does have christ-like qualities in that he has a beard and long hair

[58:50] And women go gaga for him

[58:52] Yeah

[58:53] I mean I wish

[58:56] Now I kind of wish he'd been like well I'm a carpenter

[58:58] And then they just kind of started slowly layering

[59:00] In these different Jesus things about him

[59:02] I mean that's basically the bit from the 10

[59:04] He's at the bar

[59:05] That's basically that bit from the movie

[59:08] The 10 with Justin Theroux where he plays

[59:10] Jesus

[59:11] Oh I've never actually seen the 10 that's the one where

[59:14] It's each of the 10 commandments

[59:15] It's let's say uneven

[59:18] Okay

[59:19] okay we can say that let's say that some of it's good anyway the next morning alexander dario's in

[59:26] a great she's feeling great it's just like the scene in thelma louise which i recommended a

[59:31] previous episode where gina davis has had just had sex with brad pitt but also like that scene

[59:36] she finds out that hunky has escaped after the sexual act uh only he didn't steal her money as

[59:43] gina davis's money was stolen he's stolen badger's car but he did leave a note uh they uh upton

[59:48] mentions that

[59:49] he was just some dumb guy

[59:52] with great eyes and a bent penis.

[59:54] And she goes, how did you know he had a bent penis?

[59:56] Uh-oh. Looks like they both

[59:58] slept with him. A big reveal.

[1:00:00] Yeah. Big reveal.

[1:00:02] He also took Badger's car.

[1:00:04] Alexander Dario and... Speaking of big reveals, guys.

[1:00:07] I was surprised at how large

[1:00:08] the Continental Breakfast Buffet was

[1:00:10] in this hotel.

[1:00:11] It's not even the Sheridan.

[1:00:14] And it's a huge breakfast buffet.

[1:00:16] And yet, they destroy it.

[1:00:18] And this is the one scene in the movie I kind of liked where the two women are just wrecking this breakfast.

[1:00:23] But they're just wrecking a hotel lobby fighting with each other.

[1:00:25] And it ends with a bookcase falling on them.

[1:00:28] And I was like, you know what?

[1:00:29] This is getting like kind of Three Stooges-y in a way that's not hellish the way the rest of the movie has been.

[1:00:35] Well, I mean, like the way this movie could have worked is to actually, like the fact that they're unlikable.

[1:00:40] If they like really pumped up the unlikability to absurd levels.

[1:00:44] Like Dirty Rotten Scoundrels?

[1:00:47] Yeah, I mean, like, kind of.

[1:00:48] I mean, if it's a competition.

[1:00:49] Except they're charming in Dirty Rocks and Scoundrels.

[1:00:52] Like, you mean in more of a, like, well, I'm having trouble.

[1:00:58] In more of a Larry David's Sour Grapes type of way.

[1:01:01] Is that what you're saying, Dan?

[1:01:02] That movie you love, Sour Grapes, directed by Larry David?

[1:01:04] Like more of a This Means War sort of thing?

[1:01:06] No, not those examples.

[1:01:08] Like more of a War of the Roses type of movie?

[1:01:11] Yeah, actually.

[1:01:12] War of the Roses.

[1:01:13] Kramer versus Kramer?

[1:01:13] More of a Kramer versus Kramer type comedy?

[1:01:17] Yeah, Stewart has a good point.

[1:01:18] No, but a movie where the characters are hateful, but you're not supposed to like them.

[1:01:23] Freddie versus Jason.

[1:01:24] Yes.

[1:01:26] I've noticed that the difference I have.

[1:01:30] So I'm not a huge fan of comedies where the hero is an asshole.

[1:01:33] I do love Steve Coogan's Alan Partridge character, who is an asshole.

[1:01:37] And I think the difference is that you are never asked to like Alan Partridge.

[1:01:41] You feel pity for him at times because his life is so empty.

[1:01:45] But you're never supposed to like him as a person.

[1:01:47] And so it's like a bad person is funny if you're not supposed to like them.

[1:01:52] But if you're supposed to like them and they're bad, then you're like, no, this is terrible.

[1:01:55] This is not fun.

[1:01:56] That was one of the disconnects I had between the original British Office and initially starting to watch the American version of The Office.

[1:02:03] Because I feel like David Brent is so unlikable.

[1:02:07] I think you never are supposed to like him.

[1:02:10] At best, feel pity for him and sympathize with him.

[1:02:13] And Steve Carell's character, I don't think ever is I don't think they ever want you to like think he's that terrible.

[1:02:20] But he is also pretty terrible.

[1:02:22] I mean, he's that's why that's why when they gained their footing, it was making him a character who is bumbling more than he is like petty.

[1:02:32] Yeah, that like, yeah, David Brent's character is petty and narcissistic.

[1:02:35] And they had to remove that stuff from Michael Scott so that, oh, he's just like incompetent and he wants to be loved so much that he goes overboard.

[1:02:43] Whereas David Brent is like, he's petty, he's egotistical, very shamelessly overt with his atheism in a way that even turns off liberals.

[1:02:51] Sure, yeah.

[1:02:53] And his stand-up isn't that very good for some reason.

[1:02:56] I have to say, I went to, I saw him live years ago and he was so funny.

[1:03:01] And he like, I think he just, it's not his stuff, like he just doesn't have, he seems to have run out of juice, you know.

[1:03:08] I don't know what it is.

[1:03:09] But I remember seeing him, I saw him live years ago when he was preparing for, I think, his first big stand-up special.

[1:03:15] And it was just, like, a lot of fun to, like, hear him talk about stuff.

[1:03:19] But it was a very loose show, you know?

[1:03:22] Yeah, I mean, and stand-up works better live than it does recorded pretty much always.

[1:03:26] I disagree.

[1:03:27] I prefer to watch it.

[1:03:29] I hate to see stand-up live.

[1:03:30] I only like to see stand-up through, like, a cheesecloth screen.

[1:03:34] And I want it to be on a phone that's 50 feet away from me.

[1:03:37] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:03:39] I want lots of barriers between me and it.

[1:03:41] Anyway, back to the movie.

[1:03:42] They wreck the lobby and then they find out that wedding that hunky guy had to go to was his wedding.

[1:03:49] Oh, sideways.

[1:03:50] Guys, we've got a sideways on our hands.

[1:03:54] Oh, man.

[1:03:55] Break out the what?

[1:03:56] Merlot?

[1:03:57] What the fuck are you drinking that shit?

[1:03:58] Janine from Ghostbusters hits the button.

[1:04:01] Oh, man.

[1:04:02] It goes, we got one.

[1:04:04] Real bad problem with the real big logo ghost.

[1:04:07] Anyway, so cleaning up the town.

[1:04:09] They decide they're going to have to go cleaning up the town.

[1:04:11] They and Badger are going to drive.

[1:04:13] No, they leave Badger behind.

[1:04:16] They take a taxi cab, which is going to be, again, hella expensive to take this taxi.

[1:04:20] And they're able to talk their way free of the charges of destroying this hotel because they play on the hotel proprietor's love of revenge.

[1:04:34] And they're going to go to this wedding and they're going to bust it up by revealing that he's a liar and an unfaithful cheat.

[1:04:41] And they get there and they first break into the wrong wedding.

[1:04:44] In a bit that could have been kind of a funny joke, but all I kept thinking about was that poor groom who has to explain that he's never seen these women before in his life.

[1:04:53] I feel like if his bride is going to do that, is going to call things off right away, she's already got to have suspicions.

[1:05:01] That relationship's on shaky grounds.

[1:05:04] Good point.

[1:05:05] There is a thing that happens in movies and on TV where it's like, I love you.

[1:05:10] We've been in a relationship for a long time.

[1:05:12] But this stranger just told me something that doesn't square with your personality, and now I hate you.

[1:05:16] And it's like, wait, what?

[1:05:18] Hold on.

[1:05:18] Like, if a random woman that my wife had never met before walked up to her and was like, I had an affair with your husband, I think at first she would be like, that doesn't sound like Elliot.

[1:05:27] And she would ask me about it.

[1:05:29] Yeah.

[1:05:29] Because it doesn't seem within my character.

[1:05:31] If your wife walked into the room and somebody was, like, bending over, like, adjusting their shoe strap, but it was behind, like, a counter, she wouldn't be like, oh, my God, Elliot's getting a blowjob from this person.

[1:05:41] Well, now you've just indicted noises off, and I cannot have that, Stuart.

[1:05:46] Or if I was giving CPR to a woman who has clearly passed out, she wouldn't assume that I was making out with her.

[1:05:54] Because when you're making out with someone, they lie prone on their back with their arms out.

[1:05:58] Yeah, on top of their chest.

[1:05:59] not responding in any way, and you pump their chest.

[1:06:01] Well, that's the thing. When you initially showed

[1:06:03] your interest in that person romantically,

[1:06:05] they did a Bazooka Joe backflip

[1:06:07] and landed on their back.

[1:06:09] And, of course,

[1:06:12] whereas I could say, no, honey,

[1:06:13] she choked. I'm giving her CPR. Instead,

[1:06:15] I will say something like, oh, we were rehearsing

[1:06:17] for a play, because I have to

[1:06:19] come up with some kind of crazy excuse.

[1:06:21] Anyway,

[1:06:23] they go to the wedding, and they're too late to stop.

[1:06:25] It had already went through, but they find out

[1:06:27] because god loves dramatic justice and dramatic irony that uh the hunky guy has is now married to

[1:06:34] a total shrew she is real bossy and like super demanding so that's and he's like so that's the

[1:06:40] thing he's like i've been with her since i've been with her since i was a kid and i've never had

[1:06:45] women like you this was a guy's dream come true come on you gotta let me have it and they're like

[1:06:48] you know what he's got a worse punishment in store for him marriage and they walk out you know

[1:06:53] snapping their fingers so they they they meet his bride for a moment on one of the most stressful

[1:07:01] days of her life um because clearly her husband is a fucking piece of shit yeah and they think

[1:07:07] oh wow she's super controlling and shitty because she she has to probably do everything

[1:07:14] also that she was this guy was away from his fiancee days before their wedding for he was

[1:07:21] away from her for two days and he took that opportunity to have sex with two different women

[1:07:25] it's like oh this guy maybe is not such a great guy he might be a piece of garbage he almost didn't

[1:07:30] make it to the wedding like i don't know i feel like them it's just i mean it raises the question

[1:07:36] for me where was he why was he if it's like three days before his own wedding why is he half a

[1:07:43] country away from his fiance he was doing what what everybody does right before their wedding

[1:07:49] You want to live one last time, so you go to visit all the sites in Seattle that remind you of the show Frasier.

[1:07:56] I was going to say earlier that my only – I've never been to Seattle, so my only thing to judge it by is Frasier.

[1:08:04] And so when I saw their apartment, I was like, that's bigger than Frasier's apartment.

[1:08:08] He's a famous radio personality.

[1:08:11] But this movie really ends with a –

[1:08:14] Wait, it's not done.

[1:08:15] Okay, go on.

[1:08:16] It's not done yet, because first, Kate Upton goes to the jeweler's shop, and she realizes he's the kind of guy that she wants, and she gives him a kiss. She repeats a speech that he gave to her about precious and semi-precious stones, because everyone's jobs, as with Daddario's teaching, are only useful in that they provide metaphors you can use for your own life.

[1:08:37] And then at the airport, the girls apologize to each other and they say they're both great.

[1:08:40] Both of them tell the other how great they are, which we know is not true because they're both jerks.

[1:08:45] They're total assholes.

[1:08:46] So, Dan, if you were to use your job as a way to come up with a love or life metaphor, what would you say?

[1:08:57] I would say something about how everything that you love can become a source of bitterness in your life.

[1:09:08] No, that's great.

[1:09:09] Wow, that would play real well.

[1:09:11] I mean, I was expecting something like...

[1:09:13] It's not really related to the material.

[1:09:14] Like in my case, I'd be like, you know, as a bartender, people always come in and they always want to get the fanciest, most expensive drinks.

[1:09:23] If people are drinking tequila, they always go for Patron because it's flashy and expensive.

[1:09:28] But it's actually not that good a tequila, and there's much better, less expensive tequilas you could buy.

[1:09:34] I'm the less expensive tequila in this metaphor.

[1:09:37] Oh, I see.

[1:09:39] And here's the way I would do it.

[1:09:40] I would say, hey, I'm a writer.

[1:09:42] And, you know, when you write that first draft, you're like, yeah, this is it.

[1:09:47] This is how it works.

[1:09:48] This is the best.

[1:09:49] and you go back and you reread it and you're like oh you know what this isn't as good as i

[1:09:53] remember it maybe i need a second draft i'm that second draft and maybe william h hunky was the

[1:09:59] first draft you thought was going to be perfect but it's time for the second draft of your life

[1:10:03] me the writer who also owns a jewelry store and uh and now i'm going to be your far away boyfriend

[1:10:10] because here's how the movie ends uh daddario goes back to work now she's confident uh she's

[1:10:15] impressed when demarius shows up the hero of the film returns and for his report on lord of the

[1:10:21] flies he's done his own manga adaptation of lord of the flies which unless the assignment was

[1:10:26] restate the plot of lord of the flies then he has not accomplished the assignment but she acts i

[1:10:32] love it and i love it when american artists just rip off uh like manga styles like what does he

[1:10:39] thinking is like joe madaria or something like fuck this yeah come on yeah but uh that's so not

[1:10:47] only is it an act of cultural appropriation let's set that aside demarius but uh that he's it's like

[1:10:52] hey i did a manga adaptation and she acts i haven't seen her this excited about anything

[1:10:56] since william h hunky first sat down on the plane she loves it and she threatens the principal rob

[1:11:02] corddry somehow in a non-specific way and to keep like rob corddry says like that sounds like a

[1:11:08] threat and i'm like she didn't say anything that sounds like a threat i have no idea how she's like

[1:11:12] getting her job uh security like nothing she says like her her her confidence like it would have

[1:11:19] made sense if she just came in and was like you know what i'm not gonna leave like if you want

[1:11:24] me to leave you gotta fire me but i'm staying on like that would have made a little sense but

[1:11:28] otherwise i don't know what's going on in this scene at all it feels like they literally cut out

[1:11:34] a paragraph in the script that

[1:11:36] would have like explained everything

[1:11:38] and they're like this movie is almost 90

[1:11:40] minutes it's 91 minutes we got

[1:11:42] to keep it to a tight 90 minutes and like

[1:11:44] and I mean if you're gonna bring in my

[1:11:46] boy Demarius

[1:11:47] then you should have had her seem

[1:11:50] like downcast or

[1:11:52] dejected before he shows up

[1:11:54] but like she seems fine

[1:11:56] yeah and then

[1:11:58] she sees the light of her life

[1:12:00] Demarius the one student that

[1:12:02] she has reached

[1:12:03] oh yeah uh now dan uh that makes sense what you're saying makes sense that the movie like

[1:12:09] it was it just it doesn't make any sense what happened but uh yeah that makes sense but just

[1:12:13] one more question dan uh uh i seem to believe that uh your favorite movie is called stop making

[1:12:18] sense so uh excuse me if i'm just a little confused here but it seems like uh you used to

[1:12:25] like it when things stopped making sense and now that this movie has stopped making sense

[1:12:29] suddenly you don't like it so maybe i'm wrong just if you could explain that to me i just have

[1:12:33] that one question oh i would inspect her but uh i've got a very important charity fundraiser that

[1:12:38] i must go to i've i'm the uh keynote speaker of course tonight oh that makes sense that makes

[1:12:45] sense you know mrs colombo she's making uh parmesan chicken parmesan too for dinner so i

[1:12:49] should get back to that uh just one more question didn't you kill that guy uh yes oh jesus i take

[1:12:55] him away boys he fell into my intricate trap there's a there's a bit more stallone in that

[1:13:00] colombo than i said a little more well that was well that was sylvester stallone in colombo the

[1:13:05] movie yeah you got to make it bigger for this oh no well that that makes sense that makes sense so

[1:13:10] just one more thing that's how we would do it interesting cast just one more question one more

[1:13:17] question sarge do we get to win this time actually i would see that movie in a heartbeat colombo the

[1:13:25] movie starring sylvester stallone and here's the thing i would say movie makers don't make it an

[1:13:30] action movie when you've cast sylvester stallone you'll be like oh there should be like a car crash

[1:13:34] or a gunfight or something no no no you just take a reg you take an actual episode of colombo

[1:13:38] extend it to two hour length with extra scenes cast sylvester stallone in it and you know what

[1:13:43] use digital technology to insert him forrest gump style into the original episode i think that's

[1:13:48] great that i would see in an instant i would pay 40 now would that be called stallone bow or

[1:13:54] kalambo it would be called it would be called karambo yeah uh okay so and so we get to the

[1:14:02] that's alexander daddario's epilogue is she's confident she keeps her job kate upton is studying

[1:14:07] for i guess a business degree and she's telecommuting dating the jeweler guy she's

[1:14:12] going to see him in a couple days and the two friends go back to watching the bachelor together

[1:14:17] the end of the leo yeah i gotta say elliot now this is a line i think that uh i think that

[1:14:24] you have used before and i stole from you but i texted you to say that this is the least amount

[1:14:28] of movie that something can be that is legally a movie because i don't remember saying that but

[1:14:33] it sure sounds like me but i probably stole it from mystery science theater i mean so like so

[1:14:39] little happens it's just a fight between two women over this guy and then at the end of the movie uh

[1:14:46] when they could break up the wedding they just kind of say like oh fuck it like we've traveled

[1:14:51] all the way here uh via the world's most expensive taxi cab and they're like you know what uh i don't

[1:14:59] have the energy i mean i guess we learned a lesson i mean they go from seattle to st louis

[1:15:06] to fort lickerdale back to seattle i mean what more can you ask what more do you want in a movie

[1:15:12] dan there are james bond movies where he travels less than they do in this movie

[1:15:16] and yet you're right so it feels like they shot the outline of a movie where they're like

[1:15:21] the screenwriter was like i'll fill in all this stuff later and william h macy was like no no

[1:15:25] it's good we'll do it right now and then the writer was like no or more accurately the writer

[1:15:30] was like yes and take my name off the finished film yeah this pay me though this is a thing i

[1:15:35] mean elliot uh knows uh that when we worked at the daily show often if we didn't have time like

[1:15:42] we work under very tight deadlines and often we didn't have time with the first draft to put in

[1:15:46] a joke for something and so we just put joke tk and it feels like the whole screenplay was just

[1:15:52] joke tk joke tk joke tk and they never went back and filled anything in i wonder if they were like

[1:15:58] they're like we're gonna hire the best improvisers and they're gonna do this movie we couldn't get

[1:16:03] the best improvisers we got alexander daddario and kate upton and this other guy who looks kind of

[1:16:07] like jesus hunky william h macy type all right well i'm not gonna write anything for them so

[1:16:13] let's just try it like if you think they were like like william uh i know you keep offering

[1:16:18] to play the role but we hired an actor to play the hunky guy like we cast a man who's more age

[1:16:23] appropriate for these two for these two actresses and uh he's like woody allen gets to do it why

[1:16:28] don't i blah blah blah but the uh it's like it does feel like they like if you told me this

[1:16:34] whole movie was improvised i'd be like oh okay it's not very good but i could see that like

[1:16:38] there's no jokes there's not good there's no memorable lines in it and it seems kind of

[1:16:43] some scenes just like peter off like they don't really have an ending yeah let's speed through

[1:16:49] our final judgments whether this is a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie we kind of liked

[1:16:53] uh i think it's pretty clear that i think it was a bad bad movie uh there's a certain lightness to

[1:17:00] it i mean like it it it disappears yeah because there's nothing yeah it disappears from your brain

[1:17:05] as you watch it and so i didn't hate it the way i hate some movies although but from the way you

[1:17:10] talked about it sounds like you kind of white knuckled it the whole time because you're like

[1:17:13] why do they keep spending money they don't have that's true there were several sources why are

[1:17:18] they getting to the airport on time yeah they broke up that other person's wedding that's horrible

[1:17:23] yeah there are a lot of things but it is this is like it's like the movie equivalent of when

[1:17:28] someone who is not a good bartender pours you a beer and it's nothing but foam yeah and you're

[1:17:32] like oh okay i had to dig through like three inches of foam to get to like just a tiny bit

[1:17:36] of beer that's this movie except there's no beer at the bottom and you're in an alleyway and a hobo

[1:17:41] is throwing peanut shells okay uh that common thing yeah we've all been there relate to that

[1:17:49] uh yeah this is a bad bad movie all right yeah bad bad so we should move on to our uh

[1:17:57] second pledge break i mean the first one wasn't really like a big pledge break it was just kind

[1:18:02] of a informational dan dan don't eat it just say just get to the pledge break we don't we'll do

[1:18:07] the self-evaluations afterwards okay uh so listen uh as we said before the podcasts on the max fund

[1:18:14] network are listener supported and um i don't know we went over this last week so i don't know

[1:18:21] how much we need to repitch well one dan that it was last week for us but it'll be two weeks in

[1:18:26] between for the listener so let's get that straight too how about let me let me so let

[1:18:31] me just say we only do this once a year so we might as well do it yeah it's possible that people

[1:18:35] don't remember that if you go to maximumfund.org donate you can choose a monthly pledge amount to

[1:18:41] donate you'll automatically donate the same amount per month from your credit card or however or bank

[1:18:45] account or whatever you set up for you don't once you set it up once you don't have to worry about

[1:18:49] setting it up again it's that good and you can choose the shows that you want the money to go to

[1:18:53] so you don't have to worry oh is this just going to go to some faceless maximum fun overlord who

[1:18:58] takes all the money well his name is jesse thorn he has a face but it's hidden under a very big

[1:19:01] beard so i understand why you think he's faceless but he's a nice guy but he doesn't take all the

[1:19:06] money the money goes the vast majority of it to the shows and it's super helpful to us we talked

[1:19:11] in the last episode about how this money has really helped us to carve out extra time for

[1:19:16] the flop house and really keep it going that for some of us who don't have the most regular income

[1:19:22] at the moment it's a real boon uh and super helpful uh and but you don't just get the glowy

[1:19:29] feeling of contributing to making the lives of artists whose work you like better although you

[1:19:34] will do that and every time you listen to a flop house episode you'll be like i contributed a

[1:19:37] little bit to that like i feel good now uh i i should have no guilt over this uh you'll have

[1:19:42] guilt over other things because we're all sinners all of us and it's a fallen world that we live in

[1:19:46] but that's besides the point assuage some of that guilt by donating to maximum fun now

[1:19:50] there are things that you get what i was going to say is you don't just get that fuzzy feeling

[1:19:54] you also get gifts exclusive stuff that you only get for donating at different amounts if you're

[1:19:59] if you're a first-time donor or an upgrading donor you get access to some thank you gifts even if

[1:20:05] you're already a donor you can upgrade your amount to a little bit more per month you'll never even

[1:20:08] notice it come on have one less big big pretzel or something like that we've been meaning to talk

[1:20:14] I'm talking about your big pretzel habit.

[1:20:16] Anyway.

[1:20:17] Yeah, you've been having too many of those big pretzels.

[1:20:21] They're not that good for you.

[1:20:22] I don't like the way every weekend you're going out to the airport

[1:20:26] and Auntie M's or whatever they're called.

[1:20:29] Auntie Anne's?

[1:20:32] Auntie Anne's.

[1:20:32] Okay.

[1:20:33] Auntie Anne's.

[1:20:34] Auntie M is from Wizard of Oz.

[1:20:36] I don't like how you're making Auntie M from the Wizard of Oz

[1:20:38] bake you a pretzel every week.

[1:20:40] Do you think?

[1:20:41] She's already dealing with the fact that her niece, Dorothy,

[1:20:44] has disappeared perhaps run away with professor marvel the noted super kill super serial killer

[1:20:49] and carnival do you think uh do you think peter parker ever calls aunt may auntie m because m is

[1:20:54] short for may oh i think he probably did at some point maybe so well somebody write in and tell us

[1:21:00] that so going back to the yeah so anyway big pretzels stop going to yankee stadium just to

[1:21:05] get those big pretzels dan tell them what they can get uh so donor gifts if you donate at the

[1:21:10] five dollar per month level you get exclusive bonus content that's uh there's hours and hours

[1:21:16] and hours of extra shows from all the uh podcasts at max fun the whole network yeah including several

[1:21:24] hours of flop house content uh that you can't get uh if you're not a donor it's behind uh the donor

[1:21:31] paywall and we're in the we're in the middle of producing uh we should have the first one up

[1:21:37] now already uh but we're putting out three two hour ish i i can't make that promise but three

[1:21:44] episodes that are going up yeah we don't we don't know right now we're having some technical

[1:21:48] difficulties with one of the episodes but it should be uh resolved um at the ten dollar per

[1:21:54] month level uh you get an exclusive enamel pen designed by megan lynn cott now you may remember

[1:22:00] that there were enamel pens i think two years ago or is it last last year last year uh there were

[1:22:06] very beloved by listeners

[1:22:08] and there's an all new design

[1:22:10] featuring for us Nicholas Cage

[1:22:12] so you can pick that

[1:22:14] up for $10 a month. The raging

[1:22:15] Cajun himself. And the first person who gets one of those

[1:22:18] pins and then wears it

[1:22:19] while getting their picture taken with Nicholas Cage

[1:22:21] will get one high five from me.

[1:22:24] Yeah.

[1:22:26] The listener has to pay to

[1:22:27] fly Stuart out for the high five though. Yeah.

[1:22:29] Yeah. Of course.

[1:22:30] That reminds me. Do you guys remember. Sorry this is

[1:22:33] a stupid. Do you guys remember when the movie

[1:22:35] the man who knew too little came out and bill murray did a commercial where he said

[1:22:39] if you see my movie the man who knew too little and you don't like it i'll give you a refund just

[1:22:43] tell me in person and the commercial ended with him getting on a speedboat and driving away

[1:22:47] with the implication being that you'll never find him and that was that was before bill murray

[1:22:53] started crashing every wedding or bar or whatever and inserting himself into people's lives anyway

[1:22:59] dan so that's five dollars a month exclusive bonus content ten dollars a month that beautiful

[1:23:03] nicholas cage flop house pin don't tell nicholas cage because he has probably legal rights over

[1:23:08] his likeness dan what do you get at 20 20 per month you get the max fun family cookbook now

[1:23:13] this is curated for you by all the max fun hosts well maybe not all of them the ones who had enough

[1:23:18] time to send in information but uh it includes uh me me it was me yeah this book contains dozens

[1:23:24] of recipes from cocktails to desserts and everything in between uh elliot you know

[1:23:29] contributed a recipe to this so if you want to hear how elliot calen of the flop house eats

[1:23:33] then this is your chance messily i mean they've all they've heard about the popeyes part but now

[1:23:39] know what i cook at home uh dan mentioned that if you want to hear about it that's incorrect

[1:23:42] it's a book so if you want to read about it it's so i just want to make sure people know that it's

[1:23:49] not a magic book like penny had in inspector gadget or if you open it up it's going to tell

[1:23:53] you out loud what was going on you will have to read so uh if you can't read please do learn

[1:23:58] And literacy is a gift that never stops giving.

[1:24:00] As John Adams once said, you're never alone with a poet in your pocket.

[1:24:04] Dan, continue.

[1:24:05] What do you get at $35?

[1:24:06] At $35 per month, you get a one liter juice carafe.

[1:24:09] Now, it's called a juice carafe.

[1:24:11] You can put whatever liquid you want in there.

[1:24:12] I'm not going to tell on you.

[1:24:13] And it's got the MaxFun logo on the side.

[1:24:19] And so for any beverage you want to display.

[1:24:21] Which is a rocket.

[1:24:22] It's a cool looking logo.

[1:24:23] yeah if you want to display your beverage in style then uh get this carafe yeah yeah and you

[1:24:30] can tell people it's a rocket from max fun logo or that's the rocket logo from the space line of

[1:24:36] legos that came out years ago yeah oh yeah those were great there are uh other gifts at even higher

[1:24:43] levels we're not really going to get into that right now you can go to maximumfund.org

[1:24:47] slash donate to see the higher

[1:24:49] level gifts if you are

[1:24:51] a person of

[1:24:54] wealth who wants to

[1:24:55] really contribute to the podcast

[1:24:57] that you love

[1:24:58] but yeah those are the

[1:25:02] great gifts that you can get

[1:25:03] from donating. And here's how you get them

[1:25:05] go to MaximumFun.org slash donate

[1:25:07] you're going to choose your membership level, how much a month you want to do

[1:25:10] you'll put in your credit card

[1:25:12] information and then you're a member

[1:25:13] and then select the shows that you want the money to go to

[1:25:16] and then that's it.

[1:25:17] That's all you have to do

[1:25:18] and so here's what

[1:25:19] I'm going to tell you.

[1:25:19] I think you should do it

[1:25:21] right now.

[1:25:21] If you're a,

[1:25:23] if you're a current member,

[1:25:24] go and upgrade right now too

[1:25:25] but if you're,

[1:25:26] especially if you're not a member,

[1:25:27] go do it right now

[1:25:28] before you forget.

[1:25:28] If you have,

[1:25:29] and you have to do it

[1:25:30] this weekend

[1:25:30] when this episode comes out

[1:25:31] because the drive

[1:25:32] is ending soon.

[1:25:32] And thanks again, guys.

[1:25:34] Don't put it off.

[1:25:34] Yeah, thanks again

[1:25:35] for listening.

[1:25:36] That's the,

[1:25:36] that's one of the most

[1:25:37] important things

[1:25:38] and thank you, Stuart,

[1:25:39] for reminding us that.

[1:25:41] Nope.

[1:25:41] No.

[1:25:42] We love our listeners.

[1:25:43] I will.

[1:25:44] Nope.

[1:25:46] and stewart feel very close to their listeners and they really love them and they feel a sense of like

[1:25:50] belonging and i think the satisfaction more than the satisfaction of material goods

[1:25:55] dan and stewart from getting the attention of their listeners they get the satisfaction of

[1:25:59] having been heard and having been listened to and having had reached out and kind of touched and

[1:26:04] made contact with another human being and being a part of their life even if dan and stewart don't

[1:26:09] know that person it enriches their lives to know that they have become a part of someone else's

[1:26:14] life and that's they do this podcast and it really just it helps them it warms their heart to know

[1:26:19] that they are making that connection me i'm in it for the bucks bringing the money all right making

[1:26:24] paper 10 years ago when dan uh showed up in your apartment and said elliot i'd like to talk to you

[1:26:30] about the flop house initiative you were like only if they pay me well i said dan two words

[1:26:37] cha-ching question mark and he's like is cha a word is that i don't and i was like well it's

[1:26:43] a sound effect it's onomatopoeia anyway when can we start getting paid for this and dan said

[1:26:47] in about eight years and i said all right that sounds good uh so anyway we it's we do want to

[1:26:54] thank you so much for listening and for listening to this uh pledge commercial you can show your

[1:26:58] appreciation in two ways by continuing to listen and also by upgrading your membership or becoming

[1:27:03] a new member all right uh moving on let's uh talk letters letters from listeners listeners like you

[1:27:11] um so we've got a few great letters here uh the first one dan said we had a few great letters

[1:27:20] and i can't wait to hear these few great letters but because he quantified how many great letters

[1:27:26] there are it leads me to believe that there's a few not so great letters there's a few great

[1:27:33] letters and then a whole lot of not great letters so i'm saying this to our letter writers out there

[1:27:39] across the nation up your game get us some better letters because we've only got a few great letters

[1:27:46] and because everything can be better except your letters they're already great thanks everybody

[1:27:52] okay well stewart took that opportunity to go pee so uh i guess we need to vamp a little bit while

[1:27:58] he completes his uh you know like the liquid leaves his bladder and goes to its final resting

[1:28:05] place uh hey everybody i'll tell you a story about a drop of liquid that was inside stewart

[1:28:13] how did it get in there your guess is as good as mine probably in a beer or a glass of water

[1:28:19] now first that liquid went glad that you didn't go with wine which would have actually been a rhyme

[1:28:23] i don't but it wouldn't have been true so the excuse me you and i let you said that while

[1:28:29] interrupting the probably the one right i'm gonna have in the whole thing i'm sorry it started by

[1:28:33] going into stewart's mouth and then that liquid said hey i think i'll head down south down through

[1:28:39] his throat to his stomach until his intestines became the place that it went and then of course

[1:28:46] there's the bladder and the kidneys i don't know which order the liquid went through but it checked

[1:28:51] off all of its bucket list stops on the inside of stewart kidneys bladder urethra then out suddenly

[1:28:59] it was free free of that prison free of that jail called stewart's body the liquid was out

[1:29:05] and stewart would shout hey i don't have to pee anymore and the liquid would shout hey thanks i'm

[1:29:12] on my way just close the bathroom door all right so that killed a little time and stewart's back

[1:29:19] uh and everybody's worse off for having heard it the uh when's the letter song gonna start no no

[1:29:25] no uh so this i it's starting right now that's right it's a letter song triple feature

[1:29:33] and this is the big one climactic song a big anthem stadium song that's gonna get your blood

[1:29:40] pumping get you while jumping onto your feet let's jump to the beat of this letter song finale

[1:29:46] of the letter song triple feature three letters songs all right uh i'm i want to technically one

[1:29:54] of those songs was about stewart peeing and so here's the middle song that i didn't put in it

[1:30:00] was a song about stewart peeing which is not a letter song but now we got our second song but

[1:30:05] it's the third that you'll hear and the fourth overall guess we got a lot of songs today all

[1:30:11] right thanks uh i apologize guys i usually secret surprise letter song now there's a surprise letter

[1:30:20] song sneak attack okay uh i apologize i see what i'm doing it dan is i'm the kato to your

[1:30:26] inspector clouseau and you never know when a song's gonna hit yeah uh well thanks it's keeping

[1:30:31] my instinct sharp uh i apologize guys i usually send you the questions ahead of time i forgot to

[1:30:39] do it this usually is an overstatement i would say 75 of the time yeah so uh apologies to the

[1:30:45] listeners if we don't come up with great answers

[1:30:47] because... Unlike normally

[1:30:49] when our answers are really great.

[1:30:51] Or really just spot on

[1:30:53] with citations and things like that.

[1:30:55] This one's from Glenn

[1:30:57] Lastnamewithheld. Danzig.

[1:30:59] Or Glenda. Who writes,

[1:31:01] Recently I was

[1:31:03] watching Logan, which is a good, great

[1:31:05] film. Still Glenn Danzig,

[1:31:07] I think.

[1:31:08] I think it was Glenn Danzig, you're right.

[1:31:11] Wouldn't you think it would be better if I was playing the role

[1:31:13] of Wolverine. Yours in love,

[1:31:15] Glenn Danzig. Toward the end of the movie

[1:31:17] there were a series of scenes where Logan keeps

[1:31:19] fainting. He must faint about

[1:31:21] five times in a row. Around the third or fourth

[1:31:23] time he fainted, I started to wonder how you guys

[1:31:25] would describe the sequence on an episode.

[1:31:27] So my question is this. What genuinely

[1:31:30] great movies do you feel would suit a

[1:31:31] Flophouse episode? Are there any

[1:31:33] great movies that when you saw them you thought

[1:31:35] that would make a great episode of the Flophouse because they were

[1:31:37] still a little bit ridiculous?

[1:31:38] Love your work on my favorite podcast. All the best.

[1:31:41] Glenn, last name withheld.

[1:31:43] so uh guys i'm gonna i'm gonna pull back the curtain a little bit on the on the grim secret

[1:31:48] of movie complaining which is you can make fun of any movie what even good ones because people

[1:31:56] are jerks and they'll make fun of anything there's a moment in uh the mystery science theater episode

[1:32:00] overdrawn at the memory bank which is a great episode ral julia is in the movie where a

[1:32:05] character is watching casablanca and tom servo makes fun of the opening title music of casablanca

[1:32:10] and in that moment it was like a spell was broken over me and i was like oh wait a minute you can

[1:32:14] make fun of any movie oh okay and like making fun of movies was never quite as pure to me as in that

[1:32:20] moment yeah i think that for me uh if we weren't gonna do a bad movie it would be a movie that

[1:32:30] i genuinely loved a lot and had a i was kind of like a nerd about because i feel like that passion

[1:32:37] translates you know like you the things that you love the most are the things that you can find

[1:32:43] fault with the most too so something like a good star wars movie i would have a lot of opinions

[1:32:50] about i mean like star wars minute is based on that pretty much well the fact that like that i

[1:32:57] mean star wars minute is a podcast i love and i like that and those guys are great and i've enjoyed

[1:33:01] being on it when we're on it but there is a part of me that's like so you're showing your love of

[1:33:05] these characters in their world by ripping it apart minute by minute and like making fun of it

[1:33:10] minute by like it's it's weird that we seem to live in a place right now where i guess nerds

[1:33:15] have always been like this i feel like i have been where it's like you show your appreciation

[1:33:19] for something by enumerating its faults and talking about why it's not good well which is

[1:33:25] i mean i think that's a way of like i feel like the way people interact with media often is like

[1:33:31] how can i interact with this from a distance and think about it in like logical terms as opposed

[1:33:38] to on a strictly as like as an intellectual as opposed to on an emotional level yeah it's it's

[1:33:46] easier to do that than to be like no i just love this thing because it makes me happy i think i

[1:33:51] mean like i i i think that there's a way of doing it that's not mean-spirited to uh to like come

[1:33:58] like to with a laugh acknowledge that something doesn't make sense in the movie that you like

[1:34:04] you know like i don't remember whether we were talking about it before we started recording or

[1:34:10] it was during the thing but i'm re-watching all the marvel movies as is stewart uh we already

[1:34:17] talked about it okay uh yeah they heard about it it just like at the beginning of avengers or like

[1:34:24] like the middle of avengers whenever like when thor shows up it's like hold on you destroyed

[1:34:30] the bifrost in the other movie and there was a big deal about how you couldn't get back to earth

[1:34:35] to see natalie portman and this was like this huge seems like a crazy choice in the long run

[1:34:42] yeah and then like thor just comes back to earth and it's never quite explained why

[1:34:46] and like decisions like that i think are kind of fun to just you know it's like it's the same

[1:34:54] kind of like joy that you get like chatting about a movie with your friends like you know you can

[1:34:59] love a thing while coming up with like the inconsistencies and stuff that's very true so

[1:35:05] i think what i would say is a league of their own okay and i would which is a movie that i think is

[1:35:10] a it's a very good movie and i'll watch it anytime it's on but there's a lot of things in it they're

[1:35:14] kind of goofy yeah yeah i mean like a movie that i think is actually great uh like prometheus would

[1:35:21] be super fun to talk about on the podcast because there's a ton of dumb shit but that doesn't make

[1:35:27] it any less uh i don't think it makes it any less good of a movie yeah all right um so moving on

[1:35:34] this one is from natalie last name withheld who writes portman wow what a coincidence star of

[1:35:42] annihilation the movie i just saw yesterday um this one says at the time of me writing this

[1:35:47] quad cinema is doing a retrospective of al pacino films i saw dick tracy last sunday and hope to see

[1:35:54] a few more films throughout the series it ends on march 30th so it's probably over by the time

[1:35:59] you read this letter anyway there's one glaring omission from the series in my opinion jack and

[1:36:04] jill i have to say jack and jill was a movie i kind of liked i have fond memories of watching

[1:36:10] jack and jill on tv on with my mom one sunday it was probably the hardest we laughed while

[1:36:15] watching a movie together i can't believe fucking armin white wrote a fucking letter to us

[1:36:19] anyway toy story is terrible love armin white right uh anyway al pacino plays himself and he's

[1:36:27] really going for it despite it being an adam sandler movie it's a cash grab performance but

[1:36:32] boy does he grab it it's one of his hoo-ha performances obviously should really bold

[1:36:37] out there performances in bad movies be included

[1:36:39] in film retrospectives? I think, why not?

[1:36:41] It would definitely spice things up a bit.

[1:36:43] What not-so-prestigious,

[1:36:46] dare I say, bad movie would you include

[1:36:47] in a similar venerable film

[1:36:49] actor's retrospective?

[1:36:51] Or film director, if you can't think of an actor.

[1:36:53] Thanks for the show. Okay, bye!

[1:36:55] Natalie, last name with hell.

[1:36:57] Natalie, I'm going to disagree

[1:36:59] a little bit and say that I think Al Pacino did not

[1:37:01] see Jack and Jill as a cash grab, and instead

[1:37:03] was probably excited to do a comedy

[1:37:05] and to be able to play himself as a crazy person since he doesn't really get to do that that i

[1:37:11] mean since like what's the last al pacino comedy i can we can think of like scent of a woman maybe

[1:37:16] have there been any between that and jack and jill uh yeah i don't know i don't know and i assume

[1:37:24] what he's doing as a cash grab is his contract with hbo where seemingly he has to play every

[1:37:29] monster in recent american history because he's got paterno coming out he did phil specter he did

[1:37:35] kevorkian uh man in that pacino retrospective i i'd really like to watch any given sunday again

[1:37:42] because he's just fucking nuts in that thing uh i think it well i think it's if there's something

[1:37:49] that's different about the role that they're doing i think it is worth putting something bad

[1:37:53] in that they're that it shows a different side of their performing like if it's a retrospective of

[1:37:58] of actors that are known for drama you could throw that their one comedy or if it's like i'd

[1:38:03] one of the ones that comes to mind is

[1:38:06] striptease is not a good movie

[1:38:08] but I think Burt Reynolds is pretty

[1:38:10] fun in it like he's a pretty fun

[1:38:11] gross creep

[1:38:12] that's a good pick

[1:38:15] I'm having trouble

[1:38:16] a Burt Reynolds retrospective would be kind of

[1:38:19] that could be kind of fun because you'd have like

[1:38:21] you'd have like

[1:38:23] like striptease, boogie nights

[1:38:25] and then like stroker ace

[1:38:27] or like hooper or like

[1:38:29] just to show his career went in such

[1:38:32] yet like he like or sharky's machine like that his career went in like a bunch of different

[1:38:38] directions i and i'm i'm pretty excited about his new uh his new movie that's coming out directed

[1:38:43] by adam rifkin of invisible maniac fame oh i don't know this movie it's called the invisible

[1:38:50] it's called uh it's called the last movie star where he plays an aging movie star not unlike

[1:38:55] himself huh it's been getting good reviews uh i'm having a hard time thinking of a good movie

[1:39:01] with an extravagant performance that I would like to

[1:39:03] I'm sorry a bad movie with an extravagant

[1:39:05] performance that's good

[1:39:07] that I want to see

[1:39:09] in a retrospective

[1:39:11] although I know that there are some

[1:39:14] what keeps coming to mind

[1:39:15] even though it's not appropriate for this question

[1:39:17] is for the inevitable

[1:39:19] Chris Klein retrospective

[1:39:21] I would like to see him in

[1:39:23] Street Fighter The Legend of Chun-Li

[1:39:25] because his performance

[1:39:27] in that is so extravagant and crazy

[1:39:30] yeah he's great

[1:39:30] that like people just need to watch that movie just for chris klein he's i mean like i feel like

[1:39:36] rucker howard has i mean once again yeah he's he's put in a bunch of weird performances uh

[1:39:43] intermingled with uh total cash grab performances you could have a really interesting udokir

[1:39:49] retrospective where it's like just any like and all sorts of weird movies that he was in but also

[1:39:55] like some of the bigger name movies yeah that would be great if we're just playing the numbers

[1:39:59] like just based on how much work he does i bet eric roberts has a great performance in a shitty

[1:40:04] film somewhere somewhere i mean most of what we've watched have been bad performances and

[1:40:09] yeah i know but i don't know yeah yeah he's great actually that's you know what if there

[1:40:15] is an udokir retrospective i would make sure to that i am curating for some reason i would make

[1:40:21] sure to put in the forbidden room which has he's just in it in the part where there's a spark song

[1:40:27] about a man who is so obsessed with butts

[1:40:28] that he has to keep going to a surgeon

[1:40:30] to remove parts of his brain

[1:40:32] to try to remove this obsession.

[1:40:33] And Udo Kier is that guy.

[1:40:35] And it's a very weird,

[1:40:36] he has no lines of dialogue in it,

[1:40:38] but it's a very weird pantomime performance.

[1:40:41] Would you include...

[1:40:42] In a great movie, though.

[1:40:43] That's a great movie.

[1:40:43] Would you include End of Days,

[1:40:44] the movie where he gets cuckolded by the devil?

[1:40:47] Sure, yeah.

[1:40:49] And Johnny Mnemonic,

[1:40:51] which I think he's only in one scene of, right?

[1:40:52] I mean, I think,

[1:40:53] like, there's a bunch of people

[1:40:55] that are in only one scene of...

[1:40:56] I mean, I feel like that's part of making an Udokia retrospective is that there's a lot of movies that he's in only one scene.

[1:41:03] Like, we need a creepy European doctor or businessman type.

[1:41:09] Like, you show all of Grindhouse just for that one moment that he's in the cast in the trailer for that werewolf movie?

[1:41:17] Yeah.

[1:41:19] So, moving on.

[1:41:20] This last letter is from Alana, last name withheld.

[1:41:25] and she writes blazer dear floppers what happens when you see all the movies books other podcasts

[1:41:34] thanks alana yeah dan what are we gonna do when we've watched all the movies uh

[1:41:40] we're gonna this is a question we're gonna have to deal with at some point what's the

[1:41:45] uh we're gonna turn into a coffee review show we're just different roasts of coffee yeah i love

[1:41:51] And this is going to be hard for Elliot

[1:41:53] because he's not really a big coffee fan.

[1:41:55] Because I don't like coffee.

[1:41:57] Well, I'll be the guy who's...

[1:41:58] So many podcasts have the one guy who's like,

[1:42:01] well, I don't like this.

[1:42:02] I don't like true crime.

[1:42:04] I'm the Jimmy Kimmel to your Ben Stein, I guess.

[1:42:08] Yeah, yeah.

[1:42:09] I win Ben Stein's money.

[1:42:11] Yeah, I'd be the guy who's like,

[1:42:12] I don't think this true crime story is interesting.

[1:42:14] I don't like these things.

[1:42:16] Why are we treating real people's lives

[1:42:19] that really suffered as if it was like a fictional movie

[1:42:21] that we can take thrills from.

[1:42:22] Ooh, so real.

[1:42:24] That's my real problem

[1:42:26] with true crime podcasts

[1:42:27] or true crime of any type,

[1:42:29] but with a lot of true crime nonfiction,

[1:42:32] like the writer is trying to figure out

[1:42:34] like what does this crime mean?

[1:42:35] But I feel like with podcasts,

[1:42:36] they just tell the story

[1:42:38] and at the end they're like,

[1:42:39] maybe this is about,

[1:42:40] I don't know,

[1:42:40] we're obsessed with success.

[1:42:42] I don't know.

[1:42:42] And that's it.

[1:42:43] I mean, I think aren't we all,

[1:42:45] I think aren't all forms of entertainment

[1:42:47] just playing to some fetish or another

[1:42:49] and true crime is just

[1:42:50] a little more obvious about it maybe and but not as obvious as porn that's the most obvious form

[1:42:56] of entertainment that plays no kidding elliot tell me more after the episode well alana i hope

[1:43:04] that answers your question about true crime uh but luckily for us we'll never see all the movies

[1:43:11] because there's have you ever seen the movie true crime uh with clint eastwood yeah yeah yeah i saw

[1:43:18] I remember seeing that when it came out.

[1:43:19] Okay, question answered.

[1:43:20] It's a very serviceable kind of like crime thriller.

[1:43:26] There's not much to it, really.

[1:43:27] Yeah.

[1:43:28] Listen, guys.

[1:43:30] Now what?

[1:43:31] Just one more time, we need to come to you and say it's the Max Fund Drive

[1:43:38] and ask you to donate at MaximumFund.org.

[1:43:42] Slash?

[1:43:44] Slash donate, sorry.

[1:43:45] I mean, I'm sure you could find it if you just went to MaximumFund.org,

[1:43:48] But it's easier to go to MaximumFun.org slash donate.

[1:43:51] You know what?

[1:43:51] Just go to Google and put in Maximum Fun something, and then see what comes up.

[1:43:56] Go to MaximumFun.org slash donate, and pick how much you're going to donate per month,

[1:44:01] pledge it, set it up, set it and forget it.

[1:44:03] It'll just go on, and we'll appreciate it every month, and we'll say thank you very

[1:44:06] much.

[1:44:07] Yeah.

[1:44:07] Yeah, just grip it and rip it.

[1:44:09] Look, monthly member...

[1:44:11] Bag it and tag it.

[1:44:12] Monthly memberships are how our show survives.

[1:44:15] I mean, that's...

[1:44:16] Grill it and spill it.

[1:44:17] That's the bottom line.

[1:44:18] uh it's sometimes hard to all get together and do these uh shows not that we don't love each

[1:44:23] other and love doing it but it's it's it can be it can be a real fucking chore okay occasionally

[1:44:30] uh and so having money come in really helps us uh stay enthusiastic about what we're doing and

[1:44:38] on your part you'll feel good because you know that you're helping us uh make this podcast that

[1:44:45] you love so much i was being sarcastic but i don't think dan was being sarcastic well i'm the

[1:44:50] one i'm the one who has to put the podcast online so i i do a lot of the grunt work associated with

[1:44:55] the podcast that's a little less fun than just uh broadcasting but uh that's neither but you're

[1:45:02] right because because i have all the fun of handling the accounts elliot also has not so

[1:45:08] fun and i have the job of being the face man of the operation yeah no stewart handles a lot of

[1:45:15] our production stuff for it for us uh affiliated and associated products and things we all play

[1:45:20] our part yeah but it's hard especially hard for stewart he actually is kind of the public face of

[1:45:25] the podcast since he's the one member of the podcast where you anybody in the world can just

[1:45:29] go up to him they know where he's working but yeah it's true uh we already went through the

[1:45:36] pledge gifts so i won't go into details i just want to say very quickly run through them again

[1:45:40] at five dollars per month you get that exclusive bonus content at ten dollars per month you get

[1:45:45] the enamel pen designed by megan lynn cott uh specified to each show for twenty dollars per

[1:45:51] month you get that max fun family cookbook and for thirty five dollars per month you get a one

[1:45:56] liter juice carafe with engraved with the max fun rocket logo uh and then there are higher levels

[1:46:02] of donations as well that you can

[1:46:04] find out about

[1:46:06] at MaximumFun.org

[1:46:08] forward slash donate.

[1:46:09] I don't know if there's anything else to say about

[1:46:14] this right now. It's just that we appreciate

[1:46:16] your support very much.

[1:46:18] Yes, we do.

[1:46:20] Thank you for listening.

[1:46:21] Listen, if you genuinely

[1:46:24] can't afford it, just thank you for listening.

[1:46:26] But those who can,

[1:46:27] think about donating.

[1:46:30] Yeah, think about it.

[1:46:32] think about it and then do it okay no don't just think about it do it call to action think about

[1:46:38] something so uh what do we do next hashtag thinking about it uh next up we have the last

[1:46:45] segment of the show where we get positive and we recommend movies rather to leave everybody with a

[1:46:52] with a sweet taste rather than the bitter taste of the labor uh so i'll recommend a movie i saw

[1:46:58] recently a movie that's still in theaters or maybe it's not by the time that this podcast

[1:47:03] comes out we're recording a little early for this one uh but it's called the death of solon

[1:47:09] and it's armando iannucci who did the thick of it in uh england that uh very funny television show

[1:47:17] he did veep uh until very recently when he handed over the reins to someone else he did the movie

[1:47:24] end the loop and it's a similar style of sort of fast talking everyone's kind of venal and uh

[1:47:33] and looking out for themselves uh political story but it's based on the true story of when stalin

[1:47:41] died and the jockeying for power that happened after it so it's got this even though it's very

[1:47:46] funny it also has this dark undercurrent because people are getting shot left and right during

[1:47:49] uh all of the power plays and uh it's just you know it's got a great cast it's very funny

[1:47:57] as i said and um as far as i know from what i've read it's surprisingly accurate to history for

[1:48:05] this kind of movie i yeah because they all spoke english yeah yeah yeah yeah you mean uh like

[1:48:14] english the official language of the middle ages or fantasy worlds and ancient rome i uh i haven't

[1:48:22] seen death of stalin yet i want to see it but it's currently the most described movie by dudes to

[1:48:28] their tinder dates i overhear at the bar really yeah really that's that's surprising it's like

[1:48:34] the most like i mean you know we we cater to a pretty pretty intellectual bro clientele

[1:48:40] well go ahead and see it um i'm gonna recommend a movie that i am i was like almost 100 positive

[1:48:50] i would i'd already recommended but according to the flop house recommends uh wiki which is

[1:48:56] indispensable in this process uh a website that's lovingly maintained by ian whitney

[1:49:01] um yet uh apparently i have not recommended it so i'm gonna do that now i'm recommending a movie

[1:49:08] from 1989 called the blood of heroes in, uh, the international release name was salute of the

[1:49:15] jugger. Uh, it's a post-op, it's a movie about a post-apocalyptic sport where traveling bands,

[1:49:22] uh, basically teams go from village to village and they play in a game that involves taking a

[1:49:28] dog skull and sticking it on us on a, on a stick. Um, and this movie was written and directed by

[1:49:36] david webb peoples who wrote the screenplays for blade runner unforgiven all kinds of shit

[1:49:43] and this is the only full-length movie he ever directed um and it stars rugger howard joan chen

[1:49:50] delroy lindo vincent d'onofrio um and it's just this great weird little movie um yeah it's uh so

[1:49:59] if you're a fan of like post-apocalyptic uh settings uh or you just want to see those actors

[1:50:05] when they were a little bit younger,

[1:50:07] or you're into sports movies,

[1:50:11] you should check it out.

[1:50:11] And I'm going to recommend a movie

[1:50:16] that hasn't been in theaters for over 60 years,

[1:50:20] unless it's been revivals or I don't know.

[1:50:21] I'm going to recommend a musical called

[1:50:24] It's Always Fair Weather.

[1:50:25] This was, this is a Gene Kelly musical

[1:50:27] from the very end of like the big, big

[1:50:31] kind of MGM musical period.

[1:50:33] This might've been the last one

[1:50:34] or it's one of the last ones and it's what i'd call like a problem musical in a way because

[1:50:38] it's showing them really stretching the idea of what a musical can deal with it's about

[1:50:43] in the in movies at least and it's these three guys who are best buddies in world war ii and

[1:50:50] they say hey 10 years later we're gonna meet 10 years from now the war's just ended we're gonna

[1:50:53] meet back up again and we'll just tell each other about our lives and they meet up again 10 10 years

[1:50:58] later and they find that they the three of them have nothing in common anymore they're all kind

[1:51:03] of unsatisfied with their lives in various ways and it's the movie then kind of loses it loses

[1:51:10] its way a little bit there's a subplot about gangsters fixing a boxing match that never

[1:51:14] really quite works i hate it when there's like a casino sequence in a movie well there's no casino

[1:51:22] in this one but it's similar to that but uh but uh the there's and uh there's a there's some some

[1:51:30] satire on television of the 50s which is kind of funny but it it's because those shows don't

[1:51:36] exist the same way anymore it just seems crazy but there's a bunch of really good musical numbers in

[1:51:40] it sid charisse is in it and she has one of her best numbers it's one of the few ones i can think

[1:51:44] of that's a solo number her for her where she's in this this boxing gym dancing with the boxers

[1:51:49] it's called baby you knock me out uh and it's like it's a movie that has its ups and downs and

[1:51:56] rough patches but if there's a lot of fun moments in it and it's just really interesting seeing them

[1:51:59] being like okay like three years ago or four years ago they did singing in the rain it's like okay

[1:52:04] that like kind of accomplished what musicals can do now gene kelly and stanley don and directed

[1:52:08] this too they're like let's see what kind of story we can tell using a musical can we do a story

[1:52:14] that's a little more downbeat and different and like they can't fully pull it off with that kind

[1:52:20] of form but what they managed to get in it is mostly really interesting and really good and

[1:52:25] the dance numbers are fantastic so it's always fair weather i'll recommend uh hey before we go

[1:52:31] let's take care of a little business that we forgot about last time some business and that's

[1:52:35] that we have a couple live shows uh with tickets on sale um on may the 26th we will return to dc

[1:52:43] we're going to be performing at the sixth and i historic synagogue uh and on june 30th so get

[1:52:50] ready guys because there's going to be a lot of talmud study that i'm going to be leading during

[1:52:54] the show on june the 30th we're in seattle at the neptune theater uh you can buy tickets for those

[1:53:01] at the events page on the flop house podcast website one that i have not put on the website

[1:53:07] yet i notice i will get to that as soon as possible is we also have a show in brooklyn

[1:53:13] at our old home the bell house and that is on the 7th of june june 7th so what are those dates again

[1:53:23] may may 26 and what are we watching what are we watching for the dc show uh geo storm is what

[1:53:30] we're watching okay fuck yeah yeah for the brooklyn show we are watching the dark tower

[1:53:36] that's on the 7th of june so remember the remember the names of your fathers and buy a ticket

[1:53:42] no it's the face of your fathers i don't fucking and then for the seattle show on june 30th we'll

[1:53:48] be watching the mummy this is what we have decided brendan frazier's the mummy no no no

[1:53:54] the new top cruise one boris karloff's the top cruise one the new failed attempt to do the dark

[1:54:01] universe that universal really wanted to make happen uh oh they're still trying i heard that

[1:54:06] the bride of frankenstein movie is back it has been revived and so every year i think universal

[1:54:11] will try to get this dark universe thing going but i'm genuinely very curious to see that movie

[1:54:16] I have no idea if it's going to be salvageable.

[1:54:19] I hope that Russell Crowe gets to do an accent.

[1:54:21] What?

[1:54:22] I hope Russell Crowe gets to do an accent other than Australian.

[1:54:25] So if you're in Washington, D.C., come see us May 26th.

[1:54:32] If you're in New York, come see us June 7th.

[1:54:33] If you're in Seattle, come see us June 30th.

[1:54:36] Oh, yeah.

[1:54:37] And thank you, listeners, for sticking with us through this very long episode.

[1:54:41] A little longer because we're promoting the Max Fund Drive so hard.

[1:54:46] and we were talking about the layover a long time dude if you go to the i don't know who what

[1:54:52] champion did this but if you go to the the layover uh imdb page the plot summary is so

[1:54:59] fucking exhaustive it's basically the entire script yeah i did it i'm working on ways to

[1:55:08] streamline my plot summaries there's just so much so much to pick apart in a movie like that uh okay

[1:55:13] well guys it's been great uh doing a show with you but now it's time to sign off okay so for the

[1:55:19] for the flop house rather uh-huh i've been dan mccoy oh yeah dan still got it i'm stewart

[1:55:25] wellington and i'm elliot calen enjoying dan's near perfect record of flubs mix up some loops

[1:55:32] see you later guys bye

[1:55:43] all right it's a movie with no it's a comedy with no jokes in it yeah it's aaron sorkin style baby

[1:55:49] okay that's weird all right whoa that was terrifying yeah sorry my phone fell over

[1:55:58] we thought you died for a second yeah i thought we had a i thought we had an unfriended situation

[1:56:04] yeah i would love if unfriended 2 was not whatever it's about which i'm sure is great

[1:56:10] but I wish Unfriended 2 was about, like, podcasters using Skype.

[1:56:15] All right.

[1:56:18] Yeah, don't worry, guys.

[1:56:20] I saw a bright light ahead of me just now,

[1:56:23] and then I heard the voice of my grandfather,

[1:56:25] and he said, it's not your time yet.

[1:56:27] You have to stay on Earth and talk about the layover.

Ep. #255 - The Layover

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