Ep. #265 - Geostorm LIVE

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Geostorm, live in Washington, D.C.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to...

[0:37] Did it. Did it in one. Done in one.

[0:42] That's why they call him Dan in One.

[0:46] Not because you've only ever had one Dan and yogurt in your life,

[0:50] but because you do everything in one take.

[0:52] We're recording now, Dan.

[0:54] All right. Let's do that one more time.

[0:59] We'll put that on the bloop reel.

[1:03] Hey, and welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:06] Hey, Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:08] And I'm Elliot Kalin, and together we're...

[1:10] The Flophouse!

[1:15] Featuring...

[1:17] Dan McCoy.

[1:18] And...

[1:19] Stuart Wellington.

[1:20] And me, Elliot Kalin.

[1:21] The Flophouse.

[1:22] And together we are...

[1:23] The Flophouse!

[1:25] Oh, boy.

[1:26] Caught in a time loop.

[1:27] Yeah.

[1:29] We're stuck in a geostorm.

[1:31] Now, another word for a time loop is a wristwatch.

[1:36] Thanks.

[1:38] Thanks, asshole.

[1:42] So, Dan, what do we do?

[1:43] So, guys, I want to talk about something today.

[1:45] I want to talk about the weather.

[1:48] I don't know if you noticed, but it's raining outside.

[1:50] And you know what rain is a precursor to?

[1:52] What?

[1:53] The geostorm.

[1:54] Thank you.

[1:56] Which is a movie we watched and are going to talk about tonight on The Flophouse podcast.

[2:00] Starring me, Stuart Wellington.

[2:02] And me, Elliot Kalin.

[2:03] And me, Dan McCoy.

[2:04] It's a time loop, like a watch.

[2:06] The Flophouse.

[2:08] Okay, guys, we're in Washington, D.C.

[2:15] Okay, that's the last time you guys are going to cheer when we say Washington, D.C.

[2:21] Dan, I cannot work with these people.

[2:24] All right, bring in the next crowd.

[2:27] Bring in the audience's understudies.

[2:30] Now, Washington, D.C. is full of political power.

[2:32] But you know what it's not full of?

[2:34] Stop it.

[2:36] It's not full of weather power.

[2:39] Like we see in today's movie, Geostorm.

[2:42] The story of Italian immigrant, Geostormini.

[2:46] And how he worked his way up from a humble boot picker.

[2:50] Someone who picks boots off trees when they are thrown there by rich people who do not care to clean them.

[2:55] And how he made his way to being the top weatherman in the country.

[2:59] And now they call him Sam Champion.

[3:02] I think that's a local reference.

[3:05] I don't know.

[3:06] And it's a local reference not to this region.

[3:08] Yeah.

[3:09] Dan, I am so busy in my life.

[3:11] I don't have time to look up who the weatherman of Washington, D.C. is.

[3:14] Or weather woman.

[3:15] Or weather wizard.

[3:17] I don't know who the Captain Cold is in Washington, D.C.

[3:20] I would like the idea that there is a weather wizard that does the weather here in D.C.

[3:26] On a local channel.

[3:27] Today I feel like I need a cold snap.

[3:32] See, it's voices like that that I don't know.

[3:35] I feel like you are being prejudiced against wizards.

[3:38] Yeah, maybe he is using his powers to make life better.

[3:41] You know who is a wizard people like?

[3:42] Dumbledore.

[3:43] I thought you were going to say Mr. Wizard.

[3:45] He is not really a wizard, Dan.

[3:47] Oh, like science isn't magical, Elliot.

[3:51] You got me there.

[3:53] Because there is nothing more magical than science except the laughter of children.

[3:58] And Mr. Wizard, well, he didn't actually cause kids to laugh.

[4:01] No, he didn't.

[4:02] He just felt bad, right?

[4:03] He just put acids and bases together and saw them fizz.

[4:06] And aces and bases together.

[4:07] The fizziest pop group.

[4:11] We have effectively derailed this show.

[4:14] So what we do on this podcast is we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[4:17] And today we are talking about...

[4:19] Geostorm.

[4:20] Thank you.

[4:21] So guys, before we get started.

[4:24] I have something to say about Geostorm.

[4:27] Okay.

[4:28] Geostorm is, and I use this in the technical term, the technical sense of the word, a dumb movie.

[4:37] Oh, okay.

[4:38] It is so dumb.

[4:39] I'm going to classify it.

[4:41] Did anybody out there watch Geostorm?

[4:44] Oh, boy.

[4:46] You're welcome, Geostorm.

[4:48] Yeah.

[4:49] Where's our Czech Gerari Butz?

[4:51] That's Gerard Butler's nickname that I gave him, Gerari Butz.

[4:54] He does not like it.

[4:55] No.

[4:56] So Geostorm is a new type of dumb, or rather an old type of dumb.

[5:01] And I'm going to classify it something I call 80s action dumb.

[5:04] Because when you watch an action movie from the 80s, you got to accept a certain amount of stupid.

[5:08] And they just don't care.

[5:10] They'll just throw whatever dumb at you.

[5:12] And Geostorm is like that.

[5:13] It's just hurling dumb at you constantly.

[5:15] It's a stupid movie.

[5:17] Yeah, but I find some comfort in that.

[5:20] Like it doesn't waste time.

[5:21] It just keeps moving.

[5:22] Well, welcome to Final Judgment.

[5:24] We should talk about Geostorm.

[5:25] Freeze frame.

[5:26] Hey, you're probably wondering how Geostorm got so dumb.

[5:28] Well, it all started like this.

[5:30] Guys, should we talk about what Geostorm is about?

[5:33] Yeah, let's get into the synopsis of Geostorm.

[5:36] Now, you probably think Geostorm is about a world where natural disasters have gotten out of control.

[5:41] And they've got to band together to fight.

[5:43] Earth has got to band together to stop this.

[5:45] What you don't know is that's the subject of the opening VO.

[5:49] Which tells you how in the future, ecological catastrophe was threatening the world with natural disasters.

[5:54] And the world banded together to stop it and did.

[5:58] That's the opening of the movie.

[5:59] They did it already.

[6:00] Narration over the finest stock footage that money could buy.

[6:04] And then it turns into the finest CGI disaster footage that I assume they did not have money to buy.

[6:10] You know it's going to be a good movie when that opening monologue is delivered by a child.

[6:16] Oh, yeah.

[6:17] Name one bad movie.

[6:18] If she had mentioned a prophecy, you know it would have gotten an Academy Award.

[6:22] My mama always told me about Geostorm.

[6:25] You know a lot about Geostorms.

[6:27] Daddy always said that the Geostorm was going to come for us someday.

[6:32] I just didn't know this would be the day.

[6:35] Geostorm, opening title.

[6:37] And then like, I don't know, God tells his angels to go call humanity or something.

[6:42] Anyway, it's a different type of little girl giving a VO.

[6:45] She says America and the world fought back.

[6:47] And scientists neutralized the storms with a system of satellites called Dutch Boy.

[6:53] After the paint they used to coat the satellites.

[6:57] It could have been called the Red Devil System.

[7:00] Or After the Delicious Pancake.

[7:02] See, I thought it was named after.

[7:04] Is there a Dutch Boy Pancake?

[7:05] I believe there's a Dutch Boy Pancake.

[7:06] Am I right or wrong?

[7:07] There's a Dutch Pancake.

[7:09] There's not a Dutch Boy.

[7:10] All right.

[7:11] I guess Dutch Boy Pancake.

[7:12] Dutch Baby.

[7:13] Dutch Baby?

[7:14] That's what I'm thinking of.

[7:15] I haven't heard of that either.

[7:16] They named a pancake after a Dutch infant.

[7:21] Makes you feel like you're eating an infant every time you have it.

[7:26] Stuart, how do you feel about that?

[7:29] I'm just thinking about eating an infant.

[7:31] No.

[7:33] I assume that it was named after a German hip-hop act, Deichkind.

[7:41] But I guess after Dutch Pancakes makes sense too.

[7:44] Yeah, yeah.

[7:45] No, Dutch Boy is named after the classic tale of the flood that will engulf the city of Dutch

[7:51] because the wall has a hole in it.

[7:53] And then a little Dutch boy sticks his finger in the hole in the wall.

[7:56] I assume dying in the process.

[7:58] And turns back the mighty course of God's rivers.

[8:02] I like the idea that he has to stay there for the rest of his life.

[8:05] What else are they going to do?

[8:06] The other side of the wall is a raging torrent.

[8:08] Spackle it there.

[8:09] They can't do it.

[8:10] Eighty years later, he finally just passes away.

[8:13] And the city dies.

[8:15] I mean, he lived to 80-something years old.

[8:18] That's a full life, Dan.

[8:20] It's true.

[8:21] A rich, full life of standing by a wall.

[8:24] I mean, presumably looking at tulips?

[8:27] Yeah.

[8:28] Eating pancakes?

[8:29] Story checks out.

[8:30] Wooden shoes, windmills, all that stuff.

[8:32] Here's the thing.

[8:33] Hollywood, why have we not had our grim and gritty reboot of the Dutch Boy story?

[8:37] Where he, like, chops his finger off with an axe after he sticks it in the wall.

[8:42] And he's like, there's your damn plug.

[8:44] Yeah.

[8:45] But we're like five seconds into the film at this point.

[8:49] So the girl who's doing the VO says her dad was the scientist who led the team.

[8:53] Wouldn't you know who her dad is?

[8:55] Star of the movie, Gerard Butler.

[8:58] Synonym for brilliant scientist.

[9:00] Gerard Butler.

[9:01] He's the Dutch Boy guy, as we know, because we see him getting out of a taxi cab in Washington, D.C.

[9:07] And being accosted by some dude on the sidewalk who's like, hey, you're the Dutch Boy guy.

[9:14] Thanks for saving everybody.

[9:16] He's the security guy.

[9:18] Still weird that he's just like, hey, you're the Dutch Boy.

[9:21] If he's the security guy, he should know that the Dutch Boy scientist is going to testify before the Senate that day.

[9:26] So he's like, hey, look who it is.

[9:28] When you see the Dutch Boy guy in person for the first time, like, you can't help but tell him all of his accomplishments.

[9:35] Except later when the Dutch Boy guy is given his team of scientists and they do not recognize him.

[9:40] The most famous scientist in the world who invented the system they use and is the head of their field.

[9:47] And looks like Gerard Butler.

[9:48] Anyway, so we'll get to that.

[9:51] Gerard Butler, as we see in this hearing, is a bad boy of science.

[9:53] He keeps flouting proper procedure, which means the Senate gets mad and he gets fired by the new head of the Dutch Boy system, his younger brother.

[10:00] Brother Max.

[10:00] Oh, and that makes it sound like Max is like eight,

[10:04] which would be amazing.

[10:05] Yeah.

[10:06] But no, he's just like, he's just a few years younger.

[10:08] And now we've got family steaks,

[10:10] because the steaks of the world being destroyed later on

[10:13] are not enough.

[10:13] We need to know whether Gerard Butler

[10:15] makes up with his brother.

[10:16] Or whether they have a delicious dinner at family steaks.

[10:20] The best place to take your family for steak.

[10:22] Hey.

[10:23] It's a little on the nose.

[10:24] Have you ever wondered what your family

[10:25] would taste like in steak form?

[10:27] We know what they taste like in pancake form

[10:29] if they're a baby, at least.

[10:32] But what about in steak form?

[10:33] Well, if you wanted to find out in the past,

[10:35] you'd get arrested for killing and eating your family.

[10:38] But now you don't have to at family steaks.

[10:41] We give every member of your family a long questionnaire

[10:44] about their hobbies, dreams,

[10:47] maybe their secret wishes and fears.

[10:49] Then we take an inner cheek swab and decode their genome.

[10:53] Hey, did you know that you are 0.06% Navajo?

[10:57] Well, you do now, and it's gonna be in your steak.

[11:00] So that's the family steaks difference,

[11:02] is every steak costs $40,000 and it takes six months.

[11:10] That's called aged beef.

[11:11] Anyway, so Max is put in charge of the Dutch boy system.

[11:15] Three years later, for some reason,

[11:17] we jump forward in time,

[11:19] some UN peacekeeping troops in Afghanistan,

[11:21] because that's right,

[11:22] scientists have been able to tame the weather,

[11:24] but we're still stuck in Afghanistan.

[11:27] They find a frozen village.

[11:29] Everyone there, in the middle of the desert,

[11:31] has been flash frozen.

[11:32] And one soldier, he accidentally-

[11:35] It looks like the worst Coors Light commercial.

[11:39] Like if that Coors Light bullet train drove by

[11:41] and then like flash froze everybody and they died.

[11:44] Somebody taps the Rockies in Afghanistan,

[11:47] which is doubly bad.

[11:48] One, because it's a war crime.

[11:49] Two, they don't drink.

[11:51] That's offensive.

[11:52] Yeah.

[11:54] One of the soldiers,

[11:55] he reaches out and touches a villager's hand,

[11:57] which snaps off at the eyes.

[11:58] Don't do that, dude.

[11:59] That's not part of the rules of engagement,

[12:01] just snapping people's hands off.

[12:03] And then he pops it into his drink.

[12:05] He's like, hmm, chili.

[12:07] Well, he shouldn't pop it into his chili.

[12:09] You want your chili to be hot.

[12:11] Anyway, Max, we see him flirting with his girlfriend,

[12:16] a secret service agent, played by Abby Cornish.

[12:19] Abby Cornish.

[12:20] Where do I know Abby Cornish from,

[12:21] aside from the hen that bears her name?

[12:24] Well, you took the joke right out from under me, Elliot.

[12:26] Well, you gotta wake up pretty early in the morning

[12:28] to make a poultry-based joke

[12:30] that I'm not gonna get to first.

[12:32] As my son said to me a week ago,

[12:34] when he was trying to convince me

[12:35] we should have chicken Parmesan for dinner,

[12:37] and this is a direct quote, he said,

[12:39] it has chicken, which you love.

[12:42] He knows me pretty well, that boy of mine.

[12:46] Where do I know Abby Cornish from?

[12:49] I don't.

[12:49] She plays Woody Harrelson's wife in Three Billboards.

[12:54] I haven't seen that yet.

[12:56] She was in Sucker Punch,

[12:57] a movie that you definitely watched once.

[12:59] Oh yeah, for this show.

[13:01] Okay, anyway, they have a secret relationship

[13:03] because she's in the secret service.

[13:04] How ironic can you get?

[13:05] That's like rain on your wedding day.

[13:08] And there's a security council meeting.

[13:11] President Andy Garcia,

[13:12] because he's now at the playing the president stage

[13:14] of his career.

[13:16] When he's the president in somebody else's movie,

[13:18] a younger person's movie,

[13:20] there's a problem with the satellites

[13:21] and Secretary of State Deckam, played by Ed Harris,

[13:24] so you know he's the bad guy instantly

[13:27] because he's a grizzled, bald cyborg of a man.

[13:30] He's got two things going against him.

[13:32] Number one, he's the second in command,

[13:35] so always the second in command is the bad guy.

[13:37] Number two, he is Ed Harris.

[13:39] Yeah, and his name is Deckam,

[13:41] which is like, that's not a human name, is it?

[13:44] Yeah.

[13:45] Like, if his name was Digum

[13:47] and he was a cereal frog mascot,

[13:50] I'd be like, that's more realistic

[13:51] than if his name is Deckam.

[13:52] Yeah, it's a thing that you yell

[13:53] when you're in a bar fight, Deckam!

[13:57] If you're in a bar fight in the 20s.

[13:58] Yeah.

[14:01] They say there's a problem with the satellites

[14:03] and Max, he has this moment where he goes,

[14:05] hey, you know what?

[14:06] I'm gonna take a stand here.

[14:07] And also, the United States is about to hand over

[14:09] control of these satellites to the UN.

[14:10] Why the United States had control of them

[14:12] when it was an international effort,

[14:13] I don't know, dude, we just take shit.

[14:14] That's what we do.

[14:15] But the little brother goes,

[14:17] hey, let's send scientists up there to fix it.

[14:21] And he says it like this is,

[14:22] he's really swimming against the tide

[14:23] like a salmon to spawn on this one.

[14:25] And Ed Harris says, the president says,

[14:28] no, we'll send one person we can control.

[14:30] And Ed Harris says, get me Gremlin Battler.

[14:36] It's weird that he used our nickname

[14:39] for Gerard Butler in the movie.

[14:41] We've become part of the vernacular, you know?

[14:44] So this is where Gerard Butler comes back into the movie.

[14:48] We find out that he's a bad dad

[14:49] and that he also happens to like soccer.

[14:51] So it makes me believe.

[14:53] Yeah, you see what's going on here.

[14:54] It makes me believe that he insists

[14:56] on that being included in all scripts,

[14:59] that he's like, the Flophouse Boys made it canon.

[15:04] So I might as well add it to all me movies.

[15:08] So Max convinces Jake to leave his precocious,

[15:14] swearing 13 year old daughter and go back up into space.

[15:17] Because also on the International Space Station

[15:19] where the Dutch boy system is controlled,

[15:21] what a technician from what, Egypt?

[15:23] His name is Mahmoud.

[15:24] I couldn't recognize the flag on his arm.

[15:26] I think it's Egyptian.

[15:28] I apologize if it's not.

[15:29] Look, I don't know flags.

[15:30] I'm not some kind of Carmen Sandiego.

[15:33] Who knows all the flags.

[15:34] Oh, good.

[15:35] I mean, because if you are,

[15:35] I'd have to make a citizen's arrest.

[15:36] You need to know three things about me though, Dan.

[15:39] Do you know about the color of my eyes,

[15:41] my favorite food, and my favorite artist?

[15:44] Because if you don't, you can't hold me, copper.

[15:48] It's like, oh, we've got all this.

[15:49] I guess that's the law.

[15:50] We've got all this security footage

[15:51] of Carmen Sandiego taking the diamonds,

[15:54] but we don't know her favorite food.

[15:57] I mean, just put pizza down, dude.

[16:00] It's a safe bet.

[16:04] So this technician,

[16:05] he learned something about the satellites

[16:07] that's not good.

[16:08] He hides the readings he's got on his holo,

[16:11] it's a hologram clipboard.

[16:12] Yeah, they've got like these little pins

[16:14] that they can whip and they turn into like

[16:16] a little hologram, like.

[16:18] Notepad.

[16:19] Yeah.

[16:20] Yeah, it's like a screen.

[16:21] So this is the movie,

[16:21] this is the point where the movie lost me

[16:23] because they have this technology to control the weather

[16:25] and they have this technology to carry

[16:27] tiny little hologram video screens.

[16:29] But while this guy's walking through the space station,

[16:32] he passes a guy playing video games

[16:34] with a wired controller.

[16:37] What the fuck?

[16:41] You're right.

[16:42] When you're right, you're right, Stuart.

[16:43] Take that Geostorm, the one flaw.

[16:46] This is.

[16:47] You're a perfect shimmering diamond before that.

[16:50] The one part of Smog's underbelly

[16:52] not covered in a thick bed of jewels

[16:55] and thus vulnerable to an arrow from,

[16:57] what's the guy?

[16:58] Bard Bowman.

[16:59] Bard Bowman?

[17:00] Bard Bowman's the guy who shoots Smog the dragon.

[17:02] Yeah, I didn't remember his name.

[17:04] I'm sorry, I don't know the name

[17:05] of every character in that book.

[17:06] I mean, it's a pretty simple name.

[17:07] Okay, don't.

[17:08] Don't, don't, don't.

[17:09] Guys, guys, guys, this is tearing the plot apart.

[17:11] How am I supposed to remember

[17:12] that the Bowman's name is Bowman?

[17:14] An example of Tolkien's rich linguistic skills at work.

[17:19] The man invented multiple languages,

[17:20] but he's like, he's a Bowman,

[17:21] let's call him Bowman, whatever.

[17:24] Okay.

[17:25] That guy, he finds some secret readings,

[17:27] hides his hologram clipboard in a locker,

[17:30] and then is immediately trapped in a hallway

[17:32] and then all the walls fly off the hallway

[17:34] and he's sucked into space and killed.

[17:36] This looks like a job.

[17:39] What?

[17:40] For George?

[17:41] For George R.R. Martin.

[17:42] Okay.

[17:43] Meanwhile.

[17:44] It wasn't a trick question.

[17:45] No, it's not.

[17:46] Meanwhile, in Hong Kong, a scientist, Cheng,

[17:49] he sees that the Afghan satellite over the frozen village.

[17:52] We're like 10 minutes into the movie right now.

[17:54] Is acting weird.

[17:55] He tries to call Max, who is his old college roommate.

[17:58] He goes and he gets his voicemail.

[18:00] This is my favorite part.

[18:01] He goes to a bodega and interacts with a cat

[18:03] in a freezer for a while.

[18:04] That's pretty adorable.

[18:05] And then suddenly the streets start exploding

[18:08] and he has to drive away as skyscrapers

[18:11] fall down around him.

[18:12] Yeah, he's somehow out running hot streets in his car.

[18:16] And I'm like, why aren't the tires melting?

[18:20] Like I love the movie, Streets of Fire,

[18:22] but this is ridiculous.

[18:25] Right, Dan?

[18:25] Yeah, sure.

[18:26] Streets of Fire, Walt Hale movie.

[18:29] I grade an A plus on the math of that joke.

[18:33] No extra credit needed.

[18:35] At the chalkboard, a mathematical proof.

[18:37] Let me work it out, okay, I'll come up.

[18:39] Streets on fire, streets of fire.

[18:40] It is ridiculous, okay.

[18:43] Square the circle and we're done.

[18:44] So this makes me wonder,

[18:47] people I could tell that it was super hot.

[18:49] And that makes me wonder if we live on a planet

[18:51] where you can control the weather all the time,

[18:54] why wouldn't it just be nice everywhere all the time?

[18:59] And that's not really how climate works.

[19:00] Like you need rain and snow and things like that.

[19:02] But do you?

[19:05] I mean, you have science controlling the weather.

[19:08] Is this Elon Musk at the table right now?

[19:11] Hold on a second.

[19:12] No one's ever thought about this before.

[19:15] Guys, I'm just saying, a series of tubes around a city

[19:17] would get people around really fast.

[19:19] We gotta build them, I call them Musk tubes.

[19:22] He's disrupting weather.

[19:24] I mean, that's the problem is we are disrupting weather.

[19:29] So at this point where it's pretty clear,

[19:31] I mean, it was pretty clear to me right away

[19:32] that this guy is being assassinated by a satellite, right?

[19:36] Yes, or they're trying to.

[19:36] This isn't some freak accident

[19:38] that this satellite is trying to burn him alive,

[19:40] which seems like a crazy way to kill one person.

[19:44] Oh boy.

[19:45] Wait for the rest of the movie.

[19:48] So Gerard Butler goes up to the space station on his own.

[19:50] They send an entire space shuttle up

[19:51] and he seems to be the only one sitting on it,

[19:53] which is a waste of fuel.

[19:54] Let's just say that.

[19:55] He arrives and then we see his seat.

[19:56] It's the ultimate luxury.

[19:57] And when he arrives, he talks to the space station.

[20:00] As if it was a former lover

[20:04] He arrives and is rude to the new head scientist a German woman named what boot UTA what was her name?

[20:09] Yeah, I think is right. Yeah, it's anyway

[20:12] I don't know if that's a real German name or if it's a name like Deccan which is not it

[20:15] Which is like a Star Wars name where George Lucas was like, I prefer mace windu and throughout Deccan

[20:22] Then he's introduced to his team and we were all international scientists and they introduced themselves and the end the English member of the team

[20:29] Duncan is like, oh great and Americans in charge and now he's gonna tell us what to do. Just like an American

[20:34] He's like, let me introduce myself

[20:36] I'm Jake Lawson inventor of the Dutch boy and they're like you were Jake Lawson

[20:40] It's like hold on a second

[20:42] Like I said the security guy at the Capitol building recognized him on site the people who work in his field at the place

[20:50] he built

[20:51] Isn't his picture up somewhere like even as just like our old manager like what he was in the newspaper

[20:58] I assume but by the way Elliot the reverb in this place is is is a lot

[21:03] So I first thing I thought you were saying my I'm Jake awesome, which they should have

[21:09] Been all the way so this movie is done the scientist he Chang

[21:15] He tells max that explosion back in Hong Kong

[21:17] Those weren't just burst pipes and it's like no shit, dude

[21:20] Like half the city blew up and they try to get into the Hong Kong satellite

[21:24] Their access has been blocked and Chang warns max that if Dutch boy breaks down it could cause a chain

[21:31] reaction of storms and bad weather all do

[21:34] Called a geostorm. Yeah, the geostorm starts. Nothing can stop it. Not even the power of love

[21:43] The most powerful thing in the universe. So get out of here Huey Lewis and that doesn't take money

[21:48] It doesn't don't take fame. No don't need a credit card to ride that train. No

[21:52] That's very ahead of the time his time that he's time at buying a train ticket with a credit card

[21:57] You can't really do that at the time

[21:59] Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right. Huey Lewis futurist

[22:03] More than Raymond Kurzweil. I don't see any fucking singularities going on

[22:08] Huey Lewis any notice that it is hip to be square these days. Am I right with these tech billionaires and everything?

[22:13] Huey Lewis, it should be called Huey Lewis and the Nostradamus is

[22:17] Alright

[22:18] It's that kind of forward-thinking that reminds me of that Van Halen song Panama where one of the scat lines

[22:24] I'm pretty sure David Lee Roth says set your cell phone down

[22:30] Which is wild

[22:31] It's just like it's just like there was that Charlie Chaplin movie from while ago where people were like a woman's using a cell phone

[22:36] In the background look at that. It's like well, she's clearly not but okay

[22:40] I you know what if that's the world you want to live in and sure that Kazam starring Sinbad was a movie like sure

[22:47] I know cuz it was Shazam is the one they say cuz I am wait, which one is it? Oh boy

[22:52] Let's not even get started with that. Then we're going down the Berenstain Berenstain wormhole

[22:57] Anywho

[22:58] Chang goes back to work, but gunmen raid his office and he has to hide in the closet

[23:02] Oh max goes to the techie that works for him as he beats from Atlanta and the hit film Deadpool 2

[23:10] She's one of the best things about the movie. She actually sells her material

[23:13] Well, she's because she's great and she's much better than this movie deserves. Yeah

[23:18] She's good and everything except maybe something I haven't seen her in I shouldn't make these sweeping stay right letter in and yell at Elliot

[23:24] If he's wrong about that write a letter saying knows as he beats was bad and one thing care of Elliot Kaelin

[23:29] See care of the flop house podcast Dan's house. Can I give them your address Dan?

[23:35] No

[23:36] Or if you want to deliver your complaint in person after the show

[23:39] You can just come up to Dan McCoy and tell him why Elliot's wrong. Yeah, please tell Dan

[23:45] Okay, and she's like we've been blocked out of the satellites intentionally. Someone's trying to keep us from controlling the satellites

[23:51] Jake and Max have they have a call and they have some back-and-forth brother personal history. They argue

[23:55] It's not exactly a duel of acting Titans and they both let me just say this both despite them being

[24:01] Super smart scientists or political operators. They both have that like Donnie from the block accent. Hey, you my brother. Come on

[24:08] I'm up here in this. I'm a super scientist who made a weather-controlled satellite

[24:18] They're all Fredo they all sound like Fredo, yeah

[24:21] Because actors who are not American

[24:25] That is the easiest accent for them to do. It's why venom in the new movie is like, you know, I'm a reporter from the newspaper

[24:32] Alien symbiote Dan just gave me a look because when we were driving down here today in a rest stop

[24:37] We we saw a license plate that just said for Alfredo and we were wondering is that a person or the sauce?

[24:44] Yeah, we're really we're really hoping it was for the sauce because I mean

[24:49] That kind of describes my whole lifestyle, right?

[24:53] Is that what it's all about just doing it for the Alfredo?

[24:57] And before you say something Alfredo is not the name of the character Alf his name's Alfred, right?

[25:03] His name is Gordon Shumway, what else stands for alien life form? What are you saying?

[25:09] It's a Berenstain Berenstain Bears moment for you Stewart

[25:13] Alf's name is Gordon because he's an alien

[25:17] Anyway, so now we have a series of scenes where someone is using the satellite equipment to try to kill Gerard Butler and make

[25:24] It look like it was an accident first

[25:25] They they make us actual satellite go zooming around crazy time in a hallway

[25:29] then they go on a spacewalk to get some data drive that was embedded after an explosion or some nonsense and his his

[25:36] spacesuit jets fly around and he's like

[25:39] He retrieves the data that has the thing that the guy who got killed earlier had and he tells nobody but loot because he smells

[25:45] A rat on the team. Meanwhile. Yeah, I feel like that space sequence was basically like what if we took all of gravity and

[25:52] Condensed it and made it less fun. Yeah

[25:56] What if we don't made the special effects worse

[26:00] And instead of it being Sandra Bullock, we don't want to die if Gerard Butler

[26:06] Who?

[26:08] He hurtled into a star we wouldn't care

[26:10] I mean, I wouldn't spend that much time worrying about it to be honest like no offense to Gerard Butler

[26:15] He doesn't weigh that heavily on my life

[26:17] There are certain stars where if they fell into a literal star I'd be like, oh, that's terrible

[26:22] And I don't can't think of any and you'd be like, oh, how did that happen I'd be like weird

[26:28] Hollywood star died by hurtling

[26:31] Maybe somebody confused the two of them. I mean like Elijah would he'd really found a niche for himself

[26:36] It's like this cult guy and he had his own record label and stuff and oh, it's too bad

[26:40] He fell into a star, you know, but Gerard Butler's like, I don't know. Whatever. Okay should have been a real Butler taking a lesson from his

[26:47] name not gotten involved in space hijinks

[26:52] Becomes a space Butler

[26:54] And like like what in heaven

[26:58] Or if he's left in outer space

[27:00] What would a space Butler do? What would their job be?

[27:03] He can't dust anything because that dust is gonna fly around in zero G

[27:06] I mean, you would probably greet people and they come into outer space

[27:10] Dan what does a Butler do on in real life?

[27:14] The only Butler I know anything about is Alfred or mr. Belvedere and I have

[27:19] Eve's the most famous Butler in the world the search engine get a load of this guy. I

[27:28] Mean, you know, he's a famous PG would ask character and you also get to ask him things

[27:34] All right

[27:36] That was a dead end. I apologize to everybody. I

[27:40] Introduced no, this is my fault. I introduced the idea of a space Butler and I thought that might be funny in some way

[27:46] Yeah, but I was wrong, so okay you're thinking of like like a mega maid type situation

[27:51] Yeah, like exactly now you're talking mega made from the funniest movie ever made when I was 11 space balls

[27:58] Okay, Max is supposed to meet up with Chang, but a thug pushes Chang in front of a car

[28:02] They realize it's a lot easier to kill someone

[28:04] You don't need to blow up all of Hong Kong to do it

[28:07] Humans are frail push him in front of a car. They run up to him and his dying words are Zeus Zeus

[28:12] And it was this point I was like

[28:14] Is it gonna turn out Zeus is doing this because he's mad that humanity usurped his weather-controlling powers

[28:20] And I was like geostorm if it turns out Zeus is the villain then I love you

[28:26] and

[28:27] Ed Harris would of course be the villain

[28:29] But he would suddenly like Jafar at the end of Aladdin when he becomes a genie

[28:32] He just hurt suddenly inflate to this hugely muscled guy and a beard would spring out of his face

[28:37] And then he'd appear to lead on the form of a swan and give her a baby

[28:41] That's

[28:43] That's a Greek mythology. He's a gross character. I

[28:48] feel like I feel like Zeus is a is a

[28:52] It's a complicated character in today's you're talking about the wrestler from no holds barred, right?

[28:57] The wrestler from no holds barred. Yeah

[29:00] Okay, so anyway Jake and Max talk again

[29:03] Jake tell Jake is is Gerard Butler Gerard Butler tells his brother a story about how they went fishing with their dad and how important

[29:09] Family is and Max tells Domino from Deadpool 2 that they never went fishing with their dad

[29:15] This is a message in a code

[29:17] they invented when they were 12 and they play it back and it's like every other word and

[29:21] You get this supercut of Gerard Butler going proof of sabotage at highest levels of government and it's like hold on a second

[29:29] Yeah

[29:30] So wait, but like the the key is his cell phone number

[29:34] So it's like okay the third word the ninth word the whatever word and like that's what it and

[29:40] Domino has like a program open on her computer already. Yeah, that's like a sound editing thing. We're like, yeah

[29:45] I'll just skip from word to word. She's editing her student film or a podcast or something

[29:50] But it's also like it means that Gerard Butler was sitting there writing out this message

[29:56] Memorized it and it still doesn't tell them very much of anything

[30:00] It's like, oh, my friend was pushed in front of a car by a mysterious thug.

[30:03] You think they're sabotaged at a high level of the government?

[30:05] Yeah, maybe.

[30:06] He memorized that and then delivered it perfectly.

[30:09] Like, he's that good of an actor.

[30:12] You're right.

[30:13] Gerard Butler, I apologize.

[30:14] I don't want you thrown in a star.

[30:17] They find the Project Zeus file, because, of course, there's a Project Zeus.

[30:20] Now, there's a thing, though.

[30:21] When they edit them together to hear just those words,

[30:25] why don't they just do that for all his scenes?

[30:28] Hear me out.

[30:30] And what would that be like?

[30:31] How about every scene with Gerard Butler is him edited together all crazy?

[30:36] What movie would that be?

[30:39] It would be called Crazy Quilt, starring Grimland Battler.

[30:43] And it would be the first, well, I mean, that's a DC Universe movie,

[30:47] because Crazy Quilt's a Batman film.

[30:48] Yeah, he's a bad guy, yeah.

[30:50] So it's told from the bad guy's point of view.

[30:52] Never seen that before, have you?

[30:55] Also, so what was Crazy Quilt?

[30:56] His power, he had power over quilts?

[30:58] But only crazy, he could drive quilts crazy?

[31:02] My quilt store, no, I can't sell these quilts, now they're crazy.

[31:06] I thought as soon as you introduced the idea of a quilt store,

[31:09] I thought you were like, come on down, my quilt prices are crazy.

[31:12] Oh, yeah, yeah, he was Crazy Quilt, the Crazy Quilt salesman.

[31:16] And then I guess, I don't know.

[31:17] All the people of Gotham have spent all their money on quilts.

[31:19] The town is bankrupted, but very warm.

[31:22] Are you tired of expensive quilts?

[31:23] Come on down to Crazy Quilts.

[31:25] One day, why not make an American quilt?

[31:28] When you can buy one at Crazy Quilts, you don't even know how.

[31:31] And he was, I guess the store was hit by lightning while he was in it,

[31:34] and he turned half man, half quilt or something like that.

[31:37] And it was the lower half, so he's like,

[31:39] now I can never pleasure a woman the way I want to.

[31:42] I'm going to turn to a life of quilt-based crime.

[31:45] So he's like stealing paper towels and stuff like that.

[31:50] Yeah, he can steal like fabric, but only in tiny squares.

[31:54] And they're the same type of fabric twice.

[31:56] And you're like, this is a cool pattern.

[31:57] It's too bad I can only use it once,

[31:59] even though I had to buy a 12-foot by 12-foot roll of it.

[32:02] And Batman's like, this is, you're not really committing crimes.

[32:05] This is just a weird issue you have.

[32:07] You're free to go, Crazy Quilts.

[32:08] No, throw me an Arkham.

[32:10] Why isn't there like a blue apron for fabric then, guys, right?

[32:14] Stuart, why are you doing whatever you do for a living and not doing that?

[32:19] I have to imagine there's this Batman has to...

[32:21] It's the love of the game, Elliot.

[32:23] That's really why I do it.

[32:24] I have to imagine Batman has to audition villains all the time.

[32:28] And he'll be like, I'm sorry, you don't make the cut.

[32:31] And the villains are always going to be like,

[32:32] so Calendar Man makes it in and I don't make it in?

[32:35] He's like, he was grandfathered in.

[32:38] What, because his dad fought him?

[32:44] He bought his villain medallion before these regulations were put in place.

[32:48] I mean, now we're just doing Venture Brothers bids.

[32:50] Yeah, that's true.

[32:51] OK, so they have to go to the White House to crack open the Zeus file.

[32:55] So Secret Service, girlfriend to the rescue.

[32:58] They find out that Project Zeus is a file full of scenarios for creating geostorms.

[33:03] That's right.

[33:05] You might as well call this War Games 2.

[33:07] Stupid war games.

[33:09] It's being used to attack cities.

[33:11] They decide the only way to get around it is to reboot the Dutch boy system.

[33:14] But only the president has the codes to do that.

[33:17] And Jake thinks the president might be behind all this.

[33:20] So the United States can keep control of Dutch boy.

[33:23] But hear me out.

[33:24] If Dutch boy is going crazy and blowing up cities,

[33:26] isn't that the best argument against the United States retaining control of Dutch boy?

[33:31] Like the world is going to be like, there's a major problem with Dutch boy.

[33:34] We don't want to deal with it.

[33:35] America, it's in your lap.

[33:37] Yeah, I mean, this obviously is a misdirect.

[33:39] Andy Garcia is not the bad guy.

[33:41] But when they try and make it out like he was going to be the bad guy,

[33:44] I'm like, why is it so important that America keeps Dutch boy

[33:48] that we're going to start zapping cities?

[33:50] It doesn't make sense.

[33:51] So do you think the other countries would be like,

[33:53] well, the United States hasn't been targeted yet.

[33:56] So they don't have any skin in the game.

[33:57] Let them stay in control.

[33:59] They're an impartial observer.

[34:01] So they don't want revenge against it.

[34:03] You won't let your messy emotions and fear get in the way, America.

[34:07] Anyway, Max is like, Secret Service girlfriend,

[34:10] I'm going to need you to steal some more codes.

[34:13] And they plan to do, they're literally like,

[34:15] he's going to the Democratic Convention to give a speech.

[34:17] Well, the only time he's going to be alone is when he's in the shower.

[34:20] You got it.

[34:21] Which this is not followed through with in the movie.

[34:24] But I would have loved to see where the president is taking a shower.

[34:27] Max is sneaking in to steal the president's cell phone.

[34:30] And the president is, he gets shampoo in his eyes

[34:32] and he's blindly groping for a towel.

[34:34] And Max has to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa,

[34:36] and dodge his hands and try to get to the phone

[34:39] while the president swings around, which would make,

[34:41] I guess if Jackie Chan was starring in this movie,

[34:44] that's what would happen.

[34:45] And then he's like, handing him things that he's looking for just

[34:48] in time to get away.

[34:53] What a better movie that would be.

[34:54] They seem so excited about this plan.

[34:57] Yeah, he's super excited about the idea of maybe seeing

[34:59] the president in the shower.

[35:01] I mean, who isn't kind of curious about that?

[35:03] Yeah, yeah, you know.

[35:05] Hundreds of satellites start malfunctioning.

[35:07] Tokyo gets killer hail.

[35:09] Brazil freezes.

[35:10] There's a wave of cold that sweeps in from the ocean.

[35:12] And a woman in a bikini has to outrun it.

[35:15] And it's like a plane flash freezes in midair

[35:18] and shatters against the ground, killing, I have to assume,

[35:22] over 100 people.

[35:23] But it's like, oh, thank goodness this bikini woman survived.

[35:26] I also like how every weather disaster has to be ironic.

[35:32] If it's a hot place, it has to turn cold.

[35:33] If it's a cold place, it has to turn hot.

[35:35] It can't just be like, let's heat it up a little bit more

[35:38] to make it unlivable.

[35:39] And then there is that part where they tell Gerard Butler,

[35:43] they're like, oh, no, the satellite over Axel Rose's

[35:47] wedding has begun malfunctioning.

[35:51] It's raining.

[35:53] And a guy's about to jump right through that wedding cake.

[35:57] Guys, the November rain video is really great.

[36:00] You might say that the November rain

[36:02] was the original geostorm.

[36:03] You might say that.

[36:04] Except rain in November, in many areas,

[36:07] is very regular and appropriate.

[36:11] So are you saying there's no reason for the wedding guest

[36:13] to destroy the wedding cake, which looks very expensive?

[36:16] That's the standard way to get out of the rain, Stuart,

[36:19] is to jump into a cake.

[36:21] He doesn't want to get water on his suit.

[36:23] What better way to protect it than to cover it

[36:25] with delicious cake?

[36:28] Do you think before doing that, he said, and I quote,

[36:31] feats don't fail me now.

[36:33] Yeah.

[36:35] Oh, man.

[36:36] You know, it took years for people

[36:39] to realize that that November rain on his wedding day

[36:41] was ironic.

[36:42] That was the real tragedy.

[36:45] What I love about that video is also

[36:47] watching, when I was a kid and I saw that video, I'm like,

[36:49] oh, this looks like a normal wedding.

[36:51] And only now I'm like, those guys look crazy.

[36:55] It's like the vampire Lestat got married.

[36:58] Yeah, they look like such scumbags.

[37:01] In their defense, they'll own up to.

[37:03] I think that's their character.

[37:05] And there's that part in every wedding

[37:06] where Slash goes outside and plays the guitar solo.

[37:08] Yeah.

[37:09] It's just a standard.

[37:11] Comes out right after the ejection.

[37:11] That's a traditional wedding, yeah.

[37:13] I mean, I don't know what your origin is.

[37:14] Traditional Irish wedding, I assume, or, you know.

[37:16] Anyway, it's better than when they hire bagpipes

[37:18] and it's like, come on, guys.

[37:20] Yeah.

[37:21] Nobody's so Scottish they want bagpipes at their wedding.

[37:24] This is what you use to scare cows away from the ceremony.

[37:28] In case you're getting married in a field or barn.

[37:31] Anyway, these satellites are going crazy.

[37:33] And they don't have control.

[37:34] There's only one way to stop them.

[37:36] Every time they set a replacement satellite in place,

[37:38] it goes to its pre-programmed position,

[37:40] even if there's another satellite there already.

[37:43] They're going to have to hurl satellites at these satellites.

[37:46] But it doesn't work.

[37:48] Geostorm alert.

[37:49] And literally, a timer comes up on the big monitor

[37:52] on the International Space Station that says,

[37:54] it goes 90 minutes to geostorm and starts counting down.

[37:57] Because geostorms are nothing if not punctual.

[38:02] And the Democratic convention is going on.

[38:04] The president's giving a speech.

[38:06] I've been to Democratic conventions.

[38:07] I'm sure it was a very boring speech.

[38:10] And the next storm is set for Orlando,

[38:12] where the convention is being held.

[38:14] And it was this place.

[38:14] That sounds right, though.

[38:15] That's an appropriate location for a convention.

[38:18] Well, I mean, it is.

[38:19] I've been to a convention in, well, in Tampa.

[38:22] But it's like...

[38:24] Beautiful Tampa.

[38:26] Home of the parking lot.

[38:29] If you ever wanted to go straight from a parking lot

[38:31] to a strip club and have your clothing drenched

[38:34] in the walk from the car to the building, go ahead.

[38:39] Here's where I was like, oh, the real tragedy of this movie

[38:41] isn't the storm.

[38:42] The Democrats are still looking at Florida

[38:44] as the be-all and end-all of winning national elections.

[38:48] Here's the real tragedy.

[38:51] Guys, go to...

[38:51] Anyway, that's...

[38:52] So Max sees the next storm is set for Orlando,

[38:55] where the DNC is.

[38:57] Max tells Ed Harris, which we as the viewer

[38:59] already know is a bad move, because he's obviously

[39:01] the villain, because he's Ed Harris,

[39:04] the biggest name aside from Gerard Butler in the cast.

[39:07] Why would they just make him the Secretary of State

[39:09] who happens to step in and help save the day

[39:11] at the last minute?

[39:12] Elliot, I see Andy Garcia in the back of the audience,

[39:15] and he just looked at the ground and he just...

[39:19] He just crushed the glass in his hand

[39:21] and stalked out.

[39:23] I'm sorry, Andy Garcia.

[39:24] He was in extreme measures, goddammit.

[39:26] The movie where a detective's son

[39:28] needs a bone marrow transplant,

[39:30] so evil Michael Keaton serial killer has to donate it.

[39:33] That's a great movie.

[39:36] He was so good, they had to cut him out of dangerous minds

[39:39] so that he wouldn't outshine the rest of the film.

[39:41] Wait, I guess this is just Andy Garcia trivia now?

[39:44] Yeah.

[39:45] You know, he was born with like a not fully formed

[39:49] Siamese twin attached to him.

[39:50] Is that true or are you just making up stuff?

[39:52] I mean, I read it somewhere.

[39:54] I mean, it might have been in a Goosebumps.

[39:59] That Andy Garcia...

[40:00] see a themed goose bump. R.L. Stine thought that Andy Garcia was the next big thing in

[40:05] scaring children and he wanted to get on that money train, you know?

[40:11] I think the technical term for his condition was a quattro situation.

[40:16] Yeah, he had a quattro situation. So, sorry, but I'm sorry Andy Garcia, Ed Harris has surpassed

[40:22] you. So, and ISS meanwhile, the International Space Station, the self-destruct sequence

[40:29] has been set up. Why does this station have a self-destruct?

[40:35] They explain that. Someone says, why does it have a self-destruct? And Jar Butler goes,

[40:39] in case it fell out of its orbit and headed towards Earth, which is a good reason.

[40:43] Not bad. That's a good reason.

[40:44] Not bad, Geostorm. But you know they put it in there because

[40:47] someone at some point said, why does the space station, hold on, I'll give you the money

[40:51] to make Geostorm, a movie about satellites that go rogue and start causing frozen villages

[40:56] in Afghanistan, but why does the space station have a self-destruct code?

[41:00] Like this is the thing we need to explain because the rest of it makes total sense.

[41:07] And Ed Harris tells Max, the president's code isn't a code, it's his biometrics. We need

[41:12] his fingerprints, which led me to think, like, they're going to cut the president's fingers

[41:16] off while he's giving a speech at the DNC, which would be hardcore.

[41:22] I'd vote for him, but they're like, ah, the self-destruct sequence is going on, and the

[41:28] only person who could stop it is our British coder, Duncan, and he's not here at the moment.

[41:32] And Jar Butler goes, Duncan, and runs into him, and they have a fistfight over a gun

[41:37] on an exploding space station, which manages to be very boring.

[41:41] How did, I was, there are a lot of things to object to in Geostorm, but one of them

[41:46] was, how did Duncan get a gun on the space station?

[41:50] He got the same way he got that wired video game controller up there. I don't know, he

[41:54] stuffed it in his butt or something.

[41:56] I mean, Dan, that space station is under American control, okay? That's his fucking right.

[42:01] That's true. I probably, at some point, they were like, and of course we're not going to

[42:04] allow anyone to bring handguns onto a space station, because they might blow out a window

[42:07] and all the oxygen would get sucked out. And some guy, senator from Texas was like, well,

[42:11] let's see here. Once you start limiting the Second Amendment in space, what's to stop

[42:18] them from being attacked by a bad guy with a laser gun? And they'd be like, well, he's

[42:23] not even an American citizen, he's British, and it's space. We have no lawful control

[42:27] over it. Well, now I don't know.

[42:33] These are a lot of hot political takes. Anyway, Duncan manages to shoot a window and get sucked

[42:38] into space. Gerard Butler gets behind a door or something. I kind of couldn't follow that

[42:42] fight scene, and I was not interested.

[42:43] Anyway, Duncan is dead. Meanwhile, Deckham says to Max, you wait in this room for the

[42:50] President. Hey, did Chang tell you anything else about the satellites? And Max was like,

[42:54] I didn't mention Chang. And Harris tries to shoot him in the head. But Max manages to

[42:58] escape onto the DNC floor, which, let me tell you.

[43:01] Which, by the way, him trying to shoot him with a gun, that's moving forward for him,

[43:05] because normally he tries to burn people alive with lasers from space.

[43:08] He's like, oh, there's not enough time to attack you with a space laser. I'll just shoot

[43:12] you with a ground laser by which I mean a gun.

[43:15] He's already planning on blowing up Orlando with a laser. Why shoot him?

[43:20] That's true. That's a good point. Because he might warn somebody, because he runs onto

[43:23] the DNC floor, which, I'll tell you, is not easy to do without the proper credentials.

[43:27] Security is very tight. And he runs over to his girlfriend, Abby Cornish, Secret Service

[43:31] Agent Spy, and he's like, Deckham is the bad guy. And he was killed by the Secret Service

[43:38] Agent right over there. We've got to get the President out of here.

[43:41] And she fires her gun in the air and says, there's a shooter over here. Get the President

[43:46] out of here. Yeah, he's basically like, let's kidnap the

[43:50] President at this point. And she's like, all right.

[43:53] Which was, as you reminded me, what I thought the plot of National Treasure 2, Book of Secrets,

[43:57] was going to be before it came out. Which also features Ed Harris, right?

[44:01] Does it? I think so.

[44:02] Yeah, it does. I believe he's also the bad guy in that.

[44:05] For a second, I thought you said Dead Harris, his Tales from the Crypt name.

[44:09] And I was like... Yeah, back when he was an animator for The

[44:13] Simpsons on the Halloween episode. What an amazing career trajectory, from Simpsons

[44:19] animator to co-star of Apollo 13. I was imagining the Cryptkeeper introducing

[44:28] Dead Harris. He plays Jackson Pollock, who murders traditional

[44:35] form and aesthetics in painting. Go to the morgue for some slapstract expressionism.

[44:43] Why is Cryptkeeper not hosting a talk show, Dan?

[44:47] Why is the greatest show in the history of the world not in existence?

[44:48] The ALF talk show didn't really take off. You're right.

[44:52] He goes to pitch meetings in Hollywood. And he's like, I've got a great idea for a

[44:57] talk ghost. And they're like, hold on a second.

[44:59] Doesn't really rhyme, Cryptkeeper. You're not going to say you're going to ghost

[45:02] a talk show? I'm workshopping it.

[45:05] I'll do better than that. Well, we're kind of burnt on puppet talk shows.

[45:11] What, because of ALF? It's a totally different show.

[45:14] I'm not like ALF. I do corpse puns.

[45:17] He eats cats. Why would America want to hear what a man

[45:20] who eats cats thinks about the topical stories of the day?

[45:24] And they're like, he's not a man who eats cats.

[45:27] He's an alien. And Cryptkeeper's like, I'm a zombie.

[45:30] I don't know. The only thing we have in common is we're

[45:34] both puppets. I mean, did I ruin the illusion for you, Elliot?

[45:39] No, no. Did I ruin the illusion for you?

[45:40] You kind of made the subtext text. OK.

[45:43] You were like, you were like, I see what this joke is about.

[45:45] I'm going to say it. You know, like a like a child realizing something

[45:51] like like when I when I was a kid and I saw Gremlins 2.

[45:55] Yeah. And Billy Peltzer.

[45:57] I knew he had trapped the lightning gremlin in the phone system.

[46:00] And he said, get the phones down here.

[46:02] Can they can I be a transfer?

[46:03] Can I transfer a call from the office to the lobby?

[46:05] Yeah, they can get the fire hose.

[46:07] I turned to my mom and said, I know what he's going to do.

[46:11] He's going to wet down those gremlins, then zap them with the lightning gremlin.

[46:14] I was being an asshole when I said that, because everyone in the theater knew

[46:19] what was going on.

[46:21] And the same thing happened when I went.

[46:22] Elliot does that when he watches Westworld with his wife, too.

[46:26] It's like the gremlins are going to die.

[46:28] I watch Westworld, my wife, and I'm like, don't know.

[46:31] Don't know. Don't care.

[46:32] Don't know what's going on here.

[46:34] Westworld is kind of like Western robot themed virtual wallpaper for me.

[46:39] And I'm like, I'm going to do something else while this show runs.

[46:41] And I kind of don't care if I keep up with the plot.

[46:43] But I love seeing cowboys and robots walking around. Mm hmm.

[46:47] Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to slag Westworld.

[46:50] No, America's favorite show, Westworld.

[46:53] No, it's a little diversion.

[46:54] It was a little, you know, we took a little vacation there from the story.

[46:56] That's true.

[46:57] Anyway, to bring it back around to our movie, so they kidnapped the president.

[47:01] They're evacuating the International Space Station.

[47:03] There's a tornado sandstorm in India.

[47:05] A boy is separated from his dog.

[47:07] We're supposed to care about this, even though Orlando is attacked

[47:10] with exploding lightning.

[47:11] And the convention center where the DNC is being held,

[47:14] just as our heroes escape with the president, is exploded by lightning.

[47:18] Again, killing everyone in the building, which includes,

[47:22] I have to assume, numerous members of the government, the political establishment.

[47:25] But meanwhile, we're like, oh, I hope that kid finds his dog.

[47:28] Let's and let's not speed over this.

[47:31] The convention center is hit by lightning and it explodes

[47:35] as everything does when it's hit by lightning.

[47:38] Because the convention center has a self-destructing case.

[47:40] It falls to earth from orbit.

[47:45] But yeah, he's and it's also like I got to assassinate the president.

[47:47] I guess I'll take out all of Orlando.

[47:49] Ed Harris, are you going to wait till you leave Orlando to do that?

[47:52] No time. I'll just do it right now.

[47:53] And I'll dodge the lightning bolts like Mario or something.

[47:58] Yeah. Fighting some kind of Koopa boss, not Bowser.

[48:01] So there's a great there's a great car chase with the guy who pushed

[48:06] Chang in front of the bus before the car before some kind of automotive horses.

[48:10] That's where Abby Cornish does that move, where she turns the car around

[48:13] and goes in reverse and blasts a dude with a gun.

[48:16] And a lot of good people always dead.

[48:17] And spins the car around and shoots the driver of the car.

[48:20] And the president says to Max, marry her.

[48:22] And it's like, wah, wah, wah.

[48:24] And Chang's killer.

[48:25] She rams him off an overpass and he explodes.

[48:28] Take that, dude.

[48:29] You don't get to go to court.

[48:31] And the the Space Nation has been evacuated, evacuated.

[48:35] But Jake has to stay behind to manually reboot the system

[48:38] once the president puts his code in or some computer techno shit.

[48:41] I was losing interest in those details.

[48:43] He's got to do like an Armageddon thing, right?

[48:45] He's got to be like the cool guy.

[48:47] He's got to sacrifice himself.

[48:48] Deca, meanwhile, is like, you know what?

[48:51] Let's just use a rocket launcher to kill the president right now.

[48:54] Then the rocket launcher that he just happens to have in the trunk of his car.

[48:58] He's like, I'll get I might need to kill the president today.

[49:01] Oh, I'll pack the rocket launcher.

[49:03] And you don't know what a secretary of state has in the trunk of their car.

[49:06] That's a good point.

[49:08] I mean, I'm assuming dead hookers.

[49:11] Guys, this is an important point.

[49:13] He's the secretary of state.

[49:15] Why is he doing all this?

[49:17] If he wants to be president, he could just wait a little bit, right?

[49:20] Yeah, not really.

[49:22] Yeah, there's a great scene.

[49:23] I mean, secretary of state was the stepping stone to the presidency

[49:26] in the early 19th century, but it hasn't been since then.

[49:30] But I'm saying like, this is a people that elected

[49:34] President Andy Garcia.

[49:35] I mean, Ed Harris is a way bigger star.

[49:37] Oh, no. Andy Garcia is leaving now.

[49:40] What what? Oh, I'm sorry.

[49:42] What I like about it is the movie is like,

[49:45] uh, we're running out of ethnicities that we can throw to

[49:49] to be the first president of something.

[49:50] He's first Latino president.

[49:51] OK, we have a black president already.

[49:53] And they're like, sorry, Dennis Haysbert.

[49:54] We got to we can't have you in the movie.

[49:56] We're going to have Andy Garcia in it to show that America is still moving forward.

[50:00] Anyway, so, Deccan, they get the drop on him.

[50:03] All the police show up and the president is like,

[50:06] arrest this man, which is the kind of thing presidents say

[50:08] a lot in the movies, but almost never in real life.

[50:11] It's rare that presidents ever bust up a crime ring

[50:13] in real life, or push terrorists off their plane.

[50:17] But, and he's like, why would you do this?

[50:19] I was gonna use it to wipe out all of America's enemies.

[50:22] And it's like, wait, like Brazil?

[50:24] What?

[50:25] Tokyo?

[50:26] I don't think that Tokyo is one of our enemies.

[50:28] And he's like, I was gonna turn the time back to 1945,

[50:31] when we were on top of the world.

[50:33] And it's like, Deccan, that's a very problematic statement

[50:36] in a lot of different ways.

[50:37] Yeah.

[50:38] Look, let's, we don't even have to.

[50:40] But like, I like that Ed Harris's twofold plan is,

[50:44] I'm gonna get rid of all of our enemies,

[50:46] which is weird because like, like we just said,

[50:49] Orlando just got blown up by the storm.

[50:52] So his aim isn't very good.

[50:54] But number two, he's trying to kill everyone else

[50:57] in the line of succession,

[50:58] which like the weather isn't the most accurate way

[51:01] to kill the people above you in the presidential line.

[51:04] Two things I'm gonna tell you.

[51:05] One, Orlando is our enemy.

[51:07] Okay.

[51:09] Don't think just because it's home

[51:10] to some of our best theme parks,

[51:12] that it isn't waiting to sneak up behind us

[51:14] and garrotte us with piano wire.

[51:17] Two, that makes, that's a very good point

[51:19] that you just made.

[51:21] And I know you're probably wondering, Ed Harris,

[51:23] you have control over all these weather satellites.

[51:26] Why kill half the people

[51:27] when you can just make it double the resources, right?

[51:33] Elliot, what's the reason?

[51:36] Well, I mean, the reason in the original comics

[51:38] is that Ed Harris worships death.

[51:40] Okay. Worships death.

[51:41] And so it makes more sense.

[51:42] Go back to the source material?

[51:44] I guess for the movie about a guy

[51:47] who wants to kill half the universe

[51:48] with his magic jewel glove,

[51:50] they decided it was beyond the pale

[51:52] that he wants to have sex with a skeleton in a robe.

[51:56] You know what?

[51:58] Maybe it's just better to watch a woman

[52:00] make out with a robot.

[52:02] Sure.

[52:02] As also happens in that film,

[52:04] Geostorm, Infinity War.

[52:07] So Deckham gets taken away,

[52:08] but not before Max punches him in the face.

[52:10] He's been restrained by the officers, sir.

[52:12] That is unlawful force,

[52:14] but his girlfriend is so visibly turned on by it.

[52:17] And it's like, I am not liking these heroes.

[52:21] They are so sexually aroused by the acts of violence.

[52:25] And it's like,

[52:25] we got a couple of perspective thrill killers on our hands.

[52:28] Anyway, a tidal wave hits the United Arab Emirates

[52:31] because while they're busy punching Ed Harris,

[52:33] that Geostorm's still on the run.

[52:36] The president puts in his codes,

[52:37] but even though the Geostorm can be stopped,

[52:39] the self-destruct can't be.

[52:40] So Jake is giving his life by rebooting the system.

[52:43] He has a heart-to-heart talk with his brother.

[52:45] Great.

[52:46] I don't really care.

[52:48] And Jake has to race against the countdown

[52:50] to do his computer thing,

[52:51] but it turns out his code is invalid.

[52:53] Luckily, German lady Ute shows up.

[52:55] She never left and she had the right codes.

[52:58] Why she waited till the very last minute

[53:00] for a dramatic reveal.

[53:02] Your guess is as good as mine.

[53:04] Like, what if she was a couple seconds later?

[53:08] Anyway, she wanted-

[53:09] Oh, I missed my cue.

[53:10] I missed my cue.

[53:11] Did I stop the Geostorm?

[53:12] No, explode.

[53:14] She wanted Gerard Butler to be exuding

[53:17] the maximum amount of fear energy

[53:19] so she could drink it all in when she gives him the code.

[53:22] Oh, I see.

[53:22] Because that's what gets her going.

[53:24] Okay.

[53:25] It works.

[53:26] NASA gets control.

[53:27] The station blows up and it looks like,

[53:28] and they hurtled through space,

[53:31] dodging exploding debris,

[53:32] but it looks like they didn't make it out.

[53:34] Everyone's sad,

[53:35] especially one kind of stout scientist

[53:37] we've never seen before,

[53:38] who's shown like gripping his head in agony and misery.

[53:42] Is that a stout scientist

[53:43] or was that one of the ground control guys

[53:45] who when Gerard Butler was going to the space station

[53:48] for the first time,

[53:49] made a fucking major Tom reference?

[53:51] I think it was that guy.

[53:52] Get out of here.

[53:54] Come on.

[53:55] Now I know why he was grieving

[53:56] because he was like,

[53:57] oh, Bowie, and now this too soon, too soon.

[54:01] But it was like this guy who,

[54:02] we don't really know him as a character

[54:03] and he might as well be like rending his garments

[54:05] and eating ashes.

[54:08] But they did escape.

[54:09] They escaped into a satellite

[54:10] that had room for people to get into it for some reason.

[54:13] I guess it's the kind of satellite

[54:14] that turns into a submarine.

[54:15] Yeah, of all the things that bother me in this movie,

[54:19] like this was the thing for some reason

[54:21] that bothered me the most.

[54:22] Number one, that the satellite had room

[54:23] for people to go into, who knows why.

[54:26] But number two, that afterwards they're like,

[54:28] can we turn one of those shuttles around?

[54:30] And they turn a space shuttle around

[54:32] and there's an arm that's built to pick up the thing.

[54:35] And for some reason, there's a docking port for a satellite.

[54:38] I'm like, why would they build any of these things?

[54:40] That's not how any of this works.

[54:41] I just like, I didn't realize at the time,

[54:43] but I like that you pointed out to me now

[54:44] that they handle, that space shuttle handles like,

[54:47] like the car Abby Cornish is driving earlier.

[54:49] It breaks so well.

[54:51] It's like, oh, beautiful.

[54:52] That might as well be Hot Black Desiato's ship

[54:55] from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

[54:57] Looks like a fish, steers like a fish, drives like a cow.

[55:00] Anyway, I don't know, looks like a fish,

[55:02] drives like a fish, steers like a, I don't remember.

[55:03] Anyway, I haven't read that book in a while.

[55:04] Okay, now this is the part in a James Bond movie

[55:07] where they would dock with the shuttle

[55:09] and find that Gerard Butler and Oot are having sex

[55:12] because James Bond is the ultimate thrill killer

[55:15] aphrodisiac guy.

[55:16] But, and also, we do get to see on screen

[55:18] that that boy and his dog are reunited.

[55:20] Oh, thank goodness.

[55:21] So many millions have been killed.

[55:25] Everyone, like, we've seen a tidal wave

[55:28] just knocking down skyscrapers in the Emirates.

[55:30] And it's like, this is terrifying.

[55:31] What, is Superman fighting General Zod or something?

[55:34] And the tidal wave stops,

[55:35] and there's this guy who's been watching it

[55:37] from another building, and he's like,

[55:38] oh, and smiles to himself.

[55:39] And it's like, dude, it is not time to smile, like.

[55:42] I also love, like, at the moment

[55:44] that they reboot all the satellites,

[55:46] the weather just stops.

[55:47] Immediately.

[55:48] That is not how weather works.

[55:51] They turned it off.

[55:52] Yeah, all right.

[55:53] It's like the weather in Back to the Future 2.

[55:55] Yeah.

[55:56] So they could just flip it on and off with a switch.

[55:57] And are you talking about,

[55:58] did we bring up the fact that you can turn off

[56:01] the geostorm, but you can't turn off the self-destruct?

[56:06] That's insane.

[56:07] I mean, he did kill.

[56:07] Well, Spider-Man can turn off the dark.

[56:09] So if we can do that, we can do anything.

[56:11] I mean, not according to Broadway receipts, he couldn't.

[56:14] They get back to Earth, everyone's reunited.

[56:18] Six months later, which means it's three years

[56:21] and six months from the first dialogue scene we saw.

[56:25] Jake, Max, they love each other.

[56:27] They're brothers, and they take Jake's daughter fishing.

[56:29] They don't catch any fish.

[56:30] They don't like fishing, but they're brothers now.

[56:32] And Hannah, the daughter, has a VO about,

[56:34] hey, as long as we remember we're one planet

[56:37] working together, we're gonna be all right.

[56:39] And it's like, you are not okay.

[56:42] So many people died.

[56:43] You are not all right.

[56:45] It's like this little moment of American

[56:47] upper-class white privilege where it's like,

[56:50] I'm fishing, everything's good with the world.

[56:52] And meanwhile, there's huge refugee problems

[56:54] as half of the Emirates and Brazil

[56:58] are swarming into other countries

[56:59] because their capitals were knocked out.

[57:02] What's going on?

[57:03] And I said, hey, yay, yay, what's going on?

[57:09] I mean, I just know that when I wake in the morning

[57:11] and I step outside, I take a deep breath

[57:13] and I get real high.

[57:15] Wait, is that part of the geostorm?

[57:17] The air makes you high now?

[57:18] Yeah, that's right.

[57:20] I was really happy to find out that that songwriter

[57:22] currently does songwriting for Pink.

[57:25] Who'd have thought it?

[57:25] Four non-blondes to Pink.

[57:27] Look, they have a lot of arrows in their quiver.

[57:29] Yeah.

[57:30] I guess that's the end of geostorm.

[57:32] Yeah, so the thing to remember,

[57:35] if you're gonna remember one thing from geostorm

[57:37] is that a successful songwriter can jump

[57:39] from trend to trend,

[57:41] from recording artist to recording artist.

[57:43] Also, even-

[57:44] A good song's a song, you know?

[57:46] Yeah, even if you are the most famous scientist

[57:49] in the world, do not expect your coworkers

[57:51] to know you by sight.

[57:53] If you have a daughter,

[57:56] even if you are saving the world from bad weather

[57:58] and satellites gone mad,

[58:00] you are a bad dad if you're not taking her fishing right now.

[58:03] And also, the best way to get a message

[58:05] across to your brother is,

[58:07] one, make sure he has video editing software

[58:09] on his work computer,

[58:11] and two, do some Skippin' Words codes.

[58:14] Yeah.

[58:15] Dan, what did you learn from geostorm?

[58:18] I learned that...

[58:21] What the, why do you-

[58:22] You actually, I feel like by watching this movie,

[58:24] you unlearn so much.

[58:25] I mean, this movie makes me dumber.

[58:27] Yeah, you end up stupid.

[58:27] With every second that I watch it.

[58:30] It is such a dumb, it's like,

[58:32] I re-watched Cobra last year,

[58:35] and I was like, I forgot how dumb this movie is.

[58:37] And then watching Geostorm, I was like,

[58:38] Cobra's a nuanced take on the problems of crime in America.

[58:43] The serious problem of Axe cults

[58:45] running around shopping markets.

[58:48] What's the, I think we're at that part of the podcast.

[58:49] Yeah, we do the part of the podcast,

[58:51] for those who don't know,

[58:52] where we rate the movie,

[58:54] whether it was a good, bad movie,

[58:56] a bad, bad movie,

[58:57] or a movie we kind of liked.

[58:59] Elliot, what do you have to say?

[59:00] I gotta say, guys, I thought it was a good, bad movie.

[59:02] It was super stupid.

[59:04] And not, I'm gonna say this.

[59:07] It was not sublimely dumb,

[59:09] like Triple X, Return of Xander Cage,

[59:12] which is maybe the most beautifully stupid movie

[59:15] since Tango and Cash.

[59:17] But it was pretty enjoyably stupid.

[59:19] Every single scene, there's one moment

[59:21] where you're like, what?

[59:24] Yeah.

[59:25] The what to scene ratio is very high.

[59:29] Yeah, for me, this was a great, bad movie.

[59:31] I really like, you know, disaster movies

[59:35] are my particular flavor of dumb.

[59:38] Like, I pretty much enjoy all of them.

[59:40] And this almost reaches the level of the core,

[59:44] where the Earth's magnetic core stops spinning,

[59:46] and they have to have a caterpillar machine

[59:50] drilled down into the core and restart it.

[59:52] How much better would that movie have been

[59:53] if it was The Very Hungry Caterpillar

[59:55] that had to go down and drill?

[59:57] I think 1,000%.

[59:59] Yeah.

[1:00:00] rolls the court yeah

[1:00:02] stuart

[1:00:03] so i don't like the curve on this one

[1:00:05] well while we're always standing up there

[1:00:07] for the listeners at home stuart is standing up at full length

[1:00:11] this is the low bar of doing a podcast as people can get excited by some of

[1:00:14] the moving

[1:00:17] guys there's a scene in this movie where the secretary of state

[1:00:21] has a missile launcher in the trunk of his car

[1:00:25] and then he has a goon fire that missile into a smart car presumably driven by

[1:00:30] the president which explodes the car

[1:00:33] and he approaches that car with a gun drawn as if

[1:00:36] that gun was going to finish a job a missile started

[1:00:41] guys this is very much

[1:00:43] a good bad movie

[1:00:45] yeah triple good bads

[1:00:49] alright

[1:00:57] judge john hodgman ruled in my favor judge john hodgman ruled in my friend's

[1:01:01] favor judge john hodgman ruled in my favor

[1:01:05] i'm judge john hodgman

[1:01:07] you're hearing the voices of real litigants real people who have submitted

[1:01:10] disputes to my internet court

[1:01:12] at the judge john hodgman podcast i hear their cases i ask them questions

[1:01:16] they're good ones

[1:01:17] and then i tell them who's right and who's wrong

[1:01:20] thanks to judge john hodgman's ruling

[1:01:22] my dad has been forced to retire one of the worst dad jokes of all time

[1:01:26] instead of cutting his own hair with a flow bead

[1:01:29] my husband has his hair cut professionally

[1:01:32] i have to join a community theater group and my wife has stopped bringing home

[1:01:36] wild animals

[1:01:37] it's the judge john hodgman podcast find it every wednesday at maximumfun.org

[1:01:42] or wherever you download podcasts

[1:01:46] thanks judge john hodgman

[1:01:54] hello i'm oliver wong dj scholar and journalist and i'm morgan rhodes music

[1:02:00] supervisor and stiletto devotee

[1:02:03] and we host heat rocks a podcast where we invite our favorite musicians

[1:02:07] writers and scholars to talk about the albums that have changed their lives

[1:02:11] morgan what exactly is a heat rock it's a record that's like a hot fire

[1:02:16] combustible basically just a really really good album we've taken a deep

[1:02:20] dive into nigerian funk from the seventies he kind of had like a bad

[1:02:24] reputation in town as just being like a sketchy dude

[1:02:28] and he was just making music that for thousands of miles around him

[1:02:31] he was the only person doing anything like that

[1:02:33] nineteen eighties teen comedy soundtracks

[1:02:36] this soundtrack always felt the same to me as

[1:02:39] like when i would find a great blazer at a thrift store

[1:02:42] i could i was like oh this is gonna be me now we've talked about prince

[1:02:46] boys to men kendrick lamar and everything in between

[1:02:50] heat rocks every thursday here on maximum fun

[1:02:55] hey everyone before we get into the sponsors and jumbotrons i just want to

[1:02:59] talk to you for a second i know there are several of you out there who are not

[1:03:04] big fans of listening to live podcast shows that's why we

[1:03:08] try not to put a couple of them back to back

[1:03:12] but in this case we did it because uh well

[1:03:15] elliot had his new baby and we're all very excited about that

[1:03:20] and i am moving apartments and no one's excited about that least of

[1:03:26] all me so there's some big life upheavals going

[1:03:30] on and uh don't you now feel like a dick

[1:03:33] for complaining anyway um i gotta read just a couple ads

[1:03:39] i you know i i listened to last week's ad read and i had

[1:03:44] done uh i i had very intentionally tried to kick up my energy for that ad

[1:03:50] read just kick it up a notch and i listened back to it and it sounded

[1:03:54] like i was on xanax and so what is wrong with me

[1:04:00] i guess the question that i'm asking is it something with my thyroid

[1:04:04] is that what makes it impossible for me to do any ad reads with any energy

[1:04:08] at all uh i guess this is not a great question to be asking right before i do

[1:04:13] an ad read because uh i don't want people to think

[1:04:18] that i'm not enthusiastic about the fine products

[1:04:21] and services we offer here at the flop house

[1:04:24] but i don't know just uh it's bothering me it's bothering me guys

[1:04:29] write in write in and tell me what's wrong with me don't write in and tell

[1:04:33] me what's wrong with me god damn that would be the worst thing in the

[1:04:35] world i rescind my offer jesus can you imagine

[1:04:40] can you imagine getting a fucking cavalcade of letters about what's wrong

[1:04:43] with you oh all right the worst

[1:04:48] anyway the flop house thankfully is brought to you in part by zip

[1:04:54] recruiter zip recruiter are you hiring

[1:05:00] posting your positions to job sites and waiting and waiting

[1:05:04] and waiting and waiting for the right people to see it

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[1:05:13] finds great candidates for you so you can sit at home

[1:05:18] in your sweatpants smoking cigars like a big cartoon version of a lazy

[1:05:24] person and candidates will come to you it

[1:05:28] clarifies uh it identifies people with the right

[1:05:30] experience and invites them to apply to your job

[1:05:33] right now our listeners can try zip recruiter for free

[1:05:36] at ziprecruiter.com flop house that's ziprecruiter.com

[1:05:42] flop house zip recruiter the smartest way

[1:05:46] to hire and uh moving moving on we have a jumbotron

[1:05:53] this message is for christy and it comes from

[1:05:57] rich slash clunky that's clunky with a k christy

[1:06:04] the fun you have listening to the original peaches flip a flop

[1:06:08] or go off on an unrelated tangent is awesome

[1:06:11] listening to you laugh out loud is pure joy

[1:06:14] so i hope you enjoy hearing this from the floppers

[1:06:17] happy birthday christy you're the love of my life and the one with whom i want

[1:06:21] to finish the trip to our own fateful findings love clunky

[1:06:27] uh oh isn't that isn't that sweet um i got nothing to say about that it's

[1:06:33] just nice so uh thanks everyone for listening

[1:06:37] uh it's time to head on back to the theater

[1:06:41] for the rest of the live show so uh we've got a little time

[1:06:48] very little time not a lot of time but um so what we like to do with these live

[1:06:52] shows is answer a few questions from the audience if people are interested

[1:06:56] uh we're gonna take 10 or 15 minutes for this

[1:06:59] there's a microphone at the front there's a microphone in the front people

[1:07:01] are already lining up we may not get to every we may not get to

[1:07:04] everybody we cannot guarantee uh but guys we we went

[1:07:10] long talking about geostorm we want to pack in as many questions as we can

[1:07:14] and we cannot afford to just eat up time no could be used by questions

[1:07:19] hey dan what can we not afford to do eat up time eat up time hey let's do it

[1:07:27] what can we not want to do beat up time hey guys time is really

[1:07:33] great don't cheat up time but don't be late

[1:07:36] do the flop house question and answer session flop house questions with flop

[1:07:41] answers flop house answers for flop house questions

[1:07:45] flop house time for you and me in dc washington that is don't know why

[1:07:53] don't know why i had to specify it's the only town in this district

[1:07:58] columbia that is spirit of liberty spirit of life

[1:08:03] spirit of what uh i don't know wow this is the first time i've known

[1:08:09] you to be at a loss for words elliot so let's take advantage of that because

[1:08:12] you know what happens i started thinking about this great

[1:08:15] nation of ours no no we don't have worked up i just gotta sing

[1:08:20] about america all right thank you forever

[1:08:26] thank you anyway from tv please please our long national nightmare is over

[1:08:33] you can answer you can ask your question now wasn't that long

[1:08:36] hi i'm alexis last name withheld uh one thing i want to say a great good

[1:08:43] bad moment of that movie was that in that

[1:08:45] scene where they don't know who he is he is wearing a

[1:08:48] jay lawson name tag on his jumper i didn't even see that because i was

[1:08:52] watching on my laptop while i did the dishes

[1:08:56] the the question i want to ask is if you uh if you had the opportunity to say

[1:09:04] teach a film class or teach a seminar one hour seminar on public

[1:09:09] television whatever context you want what would be the topic of your class

[1:09:14] and what films would you show to those people

[1:09:17] assuming that your audience was wrapped or paid so much tuition that

[1:09:22] they had to pay attention to you

[1:09:26] complicated question for you smart-minded fellows yeah

[1:09:30] i mean i think i would i would do a class called new york grimy

[1:09:35] and it would just be like about 70s movies about new york that are really

[1:09:38] gross and grimy and dirty and everyone's clothes are ugly

[1:09:41] yeah i i might be stealing stewart i may be stepping on stewart's territory but i

[1:09:46] feel like i i would like to do a what did you want to say like a castle

[1:09:50] freak seminar well i know i would like to do

[1:09:52] a seminar called horror comedies of the 80s

[1:09:56] your american whereabouts in london your uh returns

[1:10:00] Would Monster Squad be on the curriculum?

[1:10:03] Monster Squad, is that horror or not?

[1:10:06] I think that's close enough, yeah.

[1:10:09] I mean, it's got Draculas in it, dude.

[1:10:12] Good point, good point.

[1:10:15] A Dracula throws dynamite into a clubhouse.

[1:10:18] What more do you want out of a movie?

[1:10:21] Maybe if he was riding a dinosaur while he did it.

[1:10:24] I would do a focused curriculum.

[1:10:28] It would be focused around three movies.

[1:10:36] Police Academy 1, 2, and 3.

[1:10:42] And just talk about how funny they are.

[1:10:45] Your class would be called,

[1:10:48] What Can He Do With That Magical Mouth?

[1:10:51] The Sounds of Michael Winslow.

[1:10:55] Crossed Eyes and Blowjobs.

[1:10:58] That's the class you would teach?

[1:11:01] Ghostbusters, Police Academy, and what else?

[1:11:04] I don't know. That's a very small genre.

[1:11:07] Okay, cool. You did my class for me. Thanks, guys.

[1:11:10] Dan, that's a talking head song, isn't it?

[1:11:13] Crossed Eyes and Blowjobs.

[1:11:16] That's right. It didn't stop making...

[1:11:19] I don't know.

[1:11:22] Hi, I'm Lindsay, last name withheld.

[1:11:25] I have a quick update and a question real fast.

[1:11:28] Last time you guys were here,

[1:11:31] the coolest person I know relayed a question to you from me

[1:11:34] about a Panasonic 3DO.

[1:11:37] I just want you to know, once I have one that's not nice enough

[1:11:40] to sell to another person,

[1:11:43] that and hell, a cyberpunk adventure featuring Dustin Hoffman

[1:11:46] will be coming to you.

[1:11:49] My actual question is,

[1:11:52] so me and my lovely partner,

[1:11:55] we are big fans of horror movies that spawn

[1:11:58] multiple really crazy sequels,

[1:12:01] your Final Destinations, your Saws, that sort of thing.

[1:12:04] Wishmasters, etc.

[1:12:07] Our favorite, though, is the Purge movies

[1:12:10] because those ones, each one subsequently,

[1:12:13] they're not good movies yet, but they get better

[1:12:16] The second one, the premise actually depends on the Purge

[1:12:19] being a thing for it to happen.

[1:12:22] We're hoping by the sixth, it's a good movie.

[1:12:25] By the second movie, they were like,

[1:12:28] the main concept of the movie should play a part in the movie.

[1:12:31] The third one, they understand that not everybody wants to do this.

[1:12:34] The fourth one, they're finally going to tell me how they convinced everyone

[1:12:37] it was a good idea.

[1:12:40] There's some street-level marketing for the Purge franchise.

[1:12:43] Go see it, because that's a lot of explaining

[1:12:46] to do why everybody wants to do this

[1:12:49] and participate.

[1:12:52] Do you have any movie franchises that you actually think

[1:12:55] get better with the ridiculous subsequent sequels?

[1:12:58] I'm sure you're going to go with a little movie called

[1:13:01] Gremlins 2.

[1:13:04] That's true. Gremlins 2 is better than the first Gremlins

[1:13:07] because it explodes the form.

[1:13:10] Did I mention that class already?

[1:13:13] The first Gremlins, great. It's wonderful.

[1:13:16] Second Gremlins, it's like, let's just go crazy, everybody.

[1:13:19] We're making a movie about Gremlins. Let's just go nuts.

[1:13:22] Why are we pretending this is a real thing?

[1:13:25] I would say the movies don't get better.

[1:13:28] In fact, they get worse over time.

[1:13:31] The original Planet of the Apes series, if you watch them all in a row,

[1:13:34] they cycle back around to each other.

[1:13:37] The first movie leads into the second one.

[1:13:40] The second movie ends, spoiler alert, with the Earth exploding.

[1:13:43] The third movie starts with three of the apes going back in time

[1:13:46] and essentially having the baby that creates the Planet of the Apes.

[1:13:49] I love the idea that they were like,

[1:13:52] we ended the second movie exploding the world.

[1:13:55] We're going to do a sequel.

[1:13:58] How do we get around this?

[1:14:01] We'd have to go back in time.

[1:14:05] I said, we already exploded the world.

[1:14:08] No, no, no, after that, say the other thing.

[1:14:11] We'd have to go back in time.

[1:14:14] Then he just sat down at the typewriter and put the whole screenplay down.

[1:14:17] That guy was ZZ Top.

[1:14:20] That's how he came up with the song Back in Time.

[1:14:23] It must have been so hard for ZZ Top to write a letter back then

[1:14:26] because his beard would get caught.

[1:14:29] I'm saying it like it's one person, Zachary something Top.

[1:14:33] What I would usually say to this question,

[1:14:36] which would probably make people the most mad,

[1:14:39] is maybe the Aliens franchise.

[1:14:42] No, you son of a bitch.

[1:14:45] Alien 4 is really great.

[1:14:48] It's not a bad movie.

[1:14:51] All right, let's do our strolling now.

[1:14:54] Let's move on to the next.

[1:14:57] Hi, my name is Andrew, last name withheld.

[1:15:00] I really do enjoy the Alien 4 movie.

[1:15:03] I mean, I saw it as a kid, it was great.

[1:15:06] Actually, two great questions.

[1:15:09] Mine feels really narrow and almost petty now with this flawless movie we just watched.

[1:15:12] It was kind of strange.

[1:15:15] Tidal waves, which submerge the Emirates in the movies, are seismic events.

[1:15:18] Whose idea do you think it was?

[1:15:21] That the weather could control it?

[1:15:24] Who convinced who to be like,

[1:15:27] I'm going to stop you right there.

[1:15:30] I don't think they know that.

[1:15:33] I think the same way that people are like,

[1:15:36] Climate change?

[1:15:39] Well, all this bad weather, like volcanoes?

[1:15:42] And it's something like, that's not a weather thing.

[1:15:45] I don't think that that ever occurred to anyone making the film.

[1:15:48] They're like, yeah, tidal waves, it must be really windy, right?

[1:15:51] I mean, it is also a movie,

[1:15:54] Surf's up, right?

[1:15:57] It is a movie where people outrun cold,

[1:16:00] and it's not even the first movie by this director, I think,

[1:16:03] where someone outruns cold.

[1:16:06] No, Day After Tomorrow, they outrun cold down the walls of the library.

[1:16:09] It's very great.

[1:16:12] He was like, remember that scene where Jake Gyllenhaal outruns the cold in that library?

[1:16:15] I'm going to one-up myself and do it in the streets of Rio.

[1:16:18] Like, I don't know, I don't know.

[1:16:21] You pulled it off again, Devlin.

[1:16:24] Which is like one of the mummy movies, they outrun the sun.

[1:16:27] I buy that in the mummy movies because it's a movie about magic.

[1:16:30] The magic between a father and a son.

[1:16:33] I thought it was the magic of that one character's arc

[1:16:36] who begins the movie, begins the series

[1:16:39] not knowing what a mummy is and being frightened of them.

[1:16:42] The second movie, he very much knows what mummies are

[1:16:45] and runs away from them.

[1:16:49] He's like, mummies again? Ugh.

[1:16:52] Gross.

[1:16:55] All right, moving on.

[1:16:58] Hey, floppers.

[1:17:01] My name is Ehab, last name withheld.

[1:17:04] It's very apt to mention this in the synagogue.

[1:17:07] I am a Muslim Arab Palestinian.

[1:17:10] Guys, watch what you say.

[1:17:13] We are about to step in a minefield.

[1:17:17] This better be a question about gremlins, too.

[1:17:23] It's actually a lot more benign than that.

[1:17:26] Usually I am vilified in Hollywood on all three of those categories.

[1:17:29] Very much so.

[1:17:32] It was actually very refreshing in this movie

[1:17:35] to see that the brown dark men were not behind this evil

[1:17:38] but rather the lesser known government agent white men

[1:17:41] who exist there.

[1:17:45] That's something that I noticed in the grand scheme of things.

[1:17:48] My question for you is,

[1:17:51] because of all that vilification of not just people in my categories

[1:17:54] but other people,

[1:17:57] I'm sure there are Hollywood movies out there

[1:18:00] that contain those stereotypes and that vilification,

[1:18:03] but you really, really enjoy them, shamelessly.

[1:18:06] I'm just curious, what are those movies?

[1:18:09] I'll say it right now.

[1:18:13] I do recognize that I am asking three straight white men this question.

[1:18:16] You don't know me.

[1:18:19] Yes, he does.

[1:18:22] He knows me.

[1:18:25] I spent a lot of today at the National Museum of the American Indian.

[1:18:28] I deal all the time with, like, I love Westerns.

[1:18:31] I love them.

[1:18:34] They are so unremittingly racist in so many ways.

[1:18:37] The man who shot Liberty Valance is slightly less racist

[1:18:41] because I don't know that there are any Native characters in the movie.

[1:18:44] Every time I watch one, I'm like,

[1:18:47] all right, I'm going to have to project this into a fantasy world

[1:18:50] where these are, I don't know,

[1:18:53] where this is okay what they're doing.

[1:18:56] Hell, on the episode that dropped today,

[1:18:59] I recommended Bone Tomahawk,

[1:19:02] which has a troglodyte race of American Indians.

[1:19:05] No, they make it very clear that they're troglodytes.

[1:19:09] The movie is like, it's okay that they're monsters

[1:19:12] because they live in a cave.

[1:19:15] Yeah, I've said before, I mean, this is not a movie,

[1:19:18] but I've said before that I watched all of 24,

[1:19:21] which is horrible.

[1:19:24] The geostorm of TV shows.

[1:19:27] I justified it by, like, it went so far into fascism

[1:19:30] that I kind of could watch it as liberal camp.

[1:19:33] Like, oh, this is just, like, goofy at this point.

[1:19:36] It's just ridiculous.

[1:19:39] I can sort of just watch it from a remove and enjoy it.

[1:19:42] And I'm a big fan of,

[1:19:45] I don't know if this answers the question,

[1:19:48] but I'm a big fan of that trend of having, like, European bad guys.

[1:19:51] Like, there was a time where a lot of action movies

[1:19:54] had, like, French villains.

[1:19:57] Yeah.

[1:20:00] Checky Cario is a bad guy in a lot of movies.

[1:20:00] bad guys in Die Hard. I love that shit dude. When they have like long flowing Fabio hair

[1:20:06] like and they all have like MP5s. Way to dodge the question Stuart and seem cool. I'm just

[1:20:15] being cool you know. You know that audiences in the 80s were watching those movies and

[1:20:18] they were like oh I just know those terrorists are putting fucking mayonnaise on their french

[1:20:22] fries. Kill em all John McClane. I will say it's like it's a really it's kind of a funny

[1:20:28] thing. It's like this is a progressive movie. The non-white characters are merely like nameless

[1:20:33] cannon fodder. They're not the bad guys. They just die in the hundreds of thousands. In

[1:20:40] conclusion all those things are horrible. Anyway moving on. Hey guys. Arian last name

[1:20:45] withheld. So you guys either all work or moonlight in the comedy business and I like I was like

[1:20:52] some of us both. I always like hearing sort of especially someone younger. I like I love

[1:20:57] hearing the origin stories on the podcast. I was wondering I wondered what are some kind

[1:21:02] of like linchpin moments when you guys maybe realize like this is something that I'm going

[1:21:06] to be able to do even if it doesn't pan out or like anything like that. Linchpin moments.

[1:21:14] I never had a moment like that. I don't really work in comedy. I just do this dumb podcast

[1:21:20] with my friends. Although it was there was a moment when we were doing live shows for

[1:21:26] a long time and I would always have to take work off and it was really cool. And whenever

[1:21:32] I'd have to take off a night from bartending I'd have to do a show. I would always end

[1:21:36] up losing money basically. So it was nice. The one time I made like the first time I

[1:21:41] made more money doing a show than I did bartending that night. That was pretty cool. I was going

[1:21:48] to say similarly I found a I was going through my files because I moved recently. Oh boy

[1:21:54] another moving story. And I found a photocopy of a check I wrote for an article a check

[1:22:01] I wrote a check I got for an article I wrote for a website when I was like 14 I think or

[1:22:07] 15. It must be the first time I was ever paid for writing something. And I was like I got

[1:22:12] to keep this. Why am I. I shouldn't throw this out. But I don't I've done anything with

[1:22:16] it or anything. But I think that was one of those moments similar to Stuart. It's like

[1:22:19] oh someone gave me money for this. And I live in the United States where money is the value

[1:22:23] of all things. I yeah I mean like I can only think of the first time I was paid for a comedy

[1:22:28] thing out in the world. It was like there was a Web site called Modern Humorous for

[1:22:32] a while. It was run by the same people who later on made who they wrote that movie about

[1:22:38] Doug Kenny that was on Netflix. Angelina too right. Is that them. Yeah. All right. So great

[1:22:47] comic lines. No. It was a great Web site. And I did a piece called First Drafts of Famous

[1:22:53] Poems which is a very common sort of humor piece idea like the first draft of something.

[1:23:02] Don't oversell it Dan. No I just I just remember that like I got paid like 60 bucks for it

[1:23:08] or whatever. And it was like a long piece. And then I was very excited to see it on the

[1:23:12] Web site. And they cut it down to one poem that was five lines. And that was my first

[1:23:16] lesson in comedy writing. It was like that's the way it's going to be. I like that even

[1:23:21] Dan's triumphant story of making it involves a shattering blow to his ego. We should move

[1:23:31] on. I think I think we can make through everyone if we go really fast and nobody join the line.

[1:23:36] Let's go. Nobody. Let's not like we're looking that close. So I don't know someone sneaks

[1:23:40] on anyway. Yeah. Anne-Marie last name withheld. This is the question from Mean Squad and it

[1:23:46] is what is the closest you've ever been to getting arrested. Oh I mean I've gotten into

[1:23:53] arguments with police officers a lot and then they let me go. I don't know what it is about

[1:23:57] me. And I'm just like I guess I don't I don't look like any of the criminals they're looking

[1:24:03] for. So I'll tell this story as quickly as I can. I was back from college hanging out

[1:24:10] with my high school friends. One of them had a girlfriend who was still in high school.

[1:24:16] She came and like hung out with us in the car like driving around which is what you

[1:24:20] do in Illinois. There's nothing else to do. You just drive around. And we went and we

[1:24:24] like smoked weed in the middle of a field somewhere. And it's an indie film. And as

[1:24:34] we were like driving back into town like we saw like five police cars going past us with

[1:24:39] like sirens on. And we're like huh something must be going on. And we went to the Hardee's

[1:24:46] where my friend worked. And we go through the we go through the line and we find out

[1:24:52] that her mom had reported this woman missing. Like she never came home from school that

[1:24:58] day. And they were looking for us. And it was only because they had the wrong description

[1:25:04] of the car that they didn't stop us with a bunch of weed in the car. And for kidnapping.

[1:25:12] And for kidnapping. And so that was that's I guess the closest I've got to being arrested.

[1:25:18] That's pretty scary. I just got a speeding ticket. It's NBD dude. I wish I had something

[1:25:24] cool like I don't know murder? If you admitted to a murder right now this would become a

[1:25:32] true crime podcast and our numbers would go through the roof. We would be amazing. Wait

[1:25:39] a minute. Who would I murder though? What celebrity did you hurl into a star? Let me

[1:25:46] think about that. Let me think. OK. Hello Kyle. Last name of Helm. Kyle Katarn from

[1:25:54] the Star Wars. Yep. Yep. Dark forces. So if you could replace our current president with

[1:25:59] any fictional president from a movie who would you choose? That's a good question.

[1:26:04] Any fictional president. I mean any fictional president. Yeah. You're Terry Crews type from

[1:26:09] Idiocracy or something. OK. Maybe not any fictional president. Well until about a week

[1:26:15] ago I would have said Morgan Freeman from Deep Impact. But I didn't. It's him. The audience

[1:26:23] came way down. Yeah. Sorry. Too real. It's late everybody. I had a soda before we came

[1:26:28] on so. What about like President Dave. When he's good Dave. Oh good Dave. Not when he's

[1:26:38] the guy they actually elected when he's secret Dave who comes in. Yeah. I was like briefly

[1:26:42] considering Henry Fonda and then I was like he nuked one of our own cities. He had to

[1:26:46] tan. Tit for tat. He had to make it up to the Russians. Yeah. And my answer is of course

[1:26:54] King Ralph. OK. Let's move on. He's not a not a president. I mean he's president of

[1:27:01] England right. He's president of our hearts. It was very disappointing watching the coverage

[1:27:05] of the royal wedding and not seeing John Goodman as an honorary guest. Yes sir. Hi there. My

[1:27:13] name's Michael McClaskney. I was wondering if you guys knew any like deleted scenes or

[1:27:20] outtakes that you thought would drastically improve a movie if they were left in or inversely

[1:27:25] something you could remove from a movie to drastically improve it. I mean I've always

[1:27:32] liked I mean there are certain scenes in the longer cut of Aliens that shouldn't be in

[1:27:37] there like the colonization early scene. But I really love the scene where they set

[1:27:43] up the automated guns and they shoot the aliens and the aliens keep coming in waves and waves

[1:27:48] and waves until like almost all the ammunition is gone. But the aliens have decided to stop

[1:27:54] at that point. They've learned their lesson. And that's OK. They've learned their lesson.

[1:27:59] One of the aliens is like guys guys guys we are getting anywhere. A favorite deleted scene

[1:28:08] of mine is from the Dungeons and Dragons movie where one of the characters tells a shares

[1:28:14] an anecdote about her father who's like a 20th level wizard or some bullshit. And it's

[1:28:19] really great. There's also I wish they'd kept this in the movie even though it's not really

[1:28:23] a deleted scene but there's there's a shot in the footage of of the making of footage

[1:28:28] where Jeremy Irons is doing some big scene. And then as soon as the director says cut

[1:28:33] he's like fuck this.

[1:28:36] I think that's very very understandable from his point of view. I don't know that I can

[1:28:44] think of any. I don't know that I've ever seen a movie where they've added back in a

[1:28:48] deleted scene and it's made the movie better. Maybe there's something. But I remember growing

[1:28:52] up and hearing like oh the apocalypse now French plantation scene. Oh this French plantation

[1:28:56] scene apocalypse now it's so amazing. They had to cut it because the movie was too long

[1:28:59] but so amazing. And apocalypse now redux came out and that scene was in it. I was like terrible

[1:29:05] scene like it's just them sitting at a table and the French explaining some stuff about

[1:29:10] the history of Vietnam's colonization by the French and I'm like kind of got that from

[1:29:14] watching the movie already like this is like I don't this is not living or like any of

[1:29:21] the scenes in that there's that scene in the fly where he like he makes some kind of

[1:29:27] hybrid mutant monster and then has to fight it that got cut out. I have no idea what you're

[1:29:32] talking about. It's like he makes like a cat baboon with the transporter and then it attacks

[1:29:35] it. That sounds amazing. But when you watch it and I for years I was like this sounds

[1:29:38] amazing and then I found I was like I'm an idiot so it takes me years to be like let

[1:29:42] me check YouTube if it's on there. Everything's on YouTube. And so I checked and I was like

[1:29:46] this scene is not very good. That's the way they cut this.

[1:29:49] All right. Thank you.

[1:29:52] Hi, I'm Vigil, last name withheld. So you guys used to have some really bad ads. I was just

[1:29:59] wondering...

[1:30:00] movies that had bad advertisements that you really loved and actually turned out

[1:30:04] loving? I mean like what was that Tom Cruise movie, Edge of Tomorrow? Edge of

[1:30:10] Tomorrow, sure. Where it was like the ads I was just like I don't know what this is

[1:30:13] this doesn't make any sense to me I don't don't even know what this is and

[1:30:17] then I saw the movie I was like that was a fun action movie. Yeah I mean I

[1:30:19] thought the ad campaigns for John Carter totally killed the movie and I think

[1:30:24] it's a very serviceable blockbuster and didn't deserve to be maligned as badly

[1:30:29] as it did and I can't think of anything clever. The other one I'd say is is there

[1:30:35] are a lot of ad campaigns that set up an expectation that's not met by the movie

[1:30:39] like Super 8 I was like can't wait to find out the mystery of what this

[1:30:43] monster is and then it's just an alien I was like why were they pretending that

[1:30:47] this was the thing that like I don't understand they're acting like this and

[1:30:50] there was a there was a promotional comic book that was stapled into a bunch

[1:30:56] of comics when that movie came out that it was about a cosmonaut dog being sent

[1:30:59] into space and it never came back and I was like oh I bet that dog mutated into

[1:31:04] a monster and it comes back and that's why all the dogs go disappearing maybe

[1:31:08] they're being merged into this dog monster when I saw the movie and I was

[1:31:11] like it's just an alien like I wish it was this dog monster like that would

[1:31:14] have been so much more fun if it was this space dog monster. We're almost to

[1:31:19] the end all right come on. Dan who are you speaking for when you say that? Me.

[1:31:24] The sweet release of death is within my grasp. My name is Ian last name withheld

[1:31:31] and if the Flophouse were to be trapped in one disaster movie which would you

[1:31:37] want it to be? What's the one where fried chickens falling out of the sky? I guess

[1:31:43] Clowder the Chance of Meatballs? I guess that counts right? It certainly would be a

[1:31:52] disaster. That was the scariest book I ever read when I was a kid. I mean it's

[1:31:56] and it's a movie right? Well now it's a movie but it wasn't a movie when I was a

[1:32:00] kid. It was a book. Okay. Because that book that's that book is the closest you can get to HP

[1:32:08] Lovecraft as a kid where it's like there's a force in the universe that can

[1:32:12] that feeds humanity and one day it just decides not to anymore and it decides to

[1:32:17] crush humanity and they never find out why they just have to run. That's

[1:32:22] frightening. What about you Stuart? Disaster movie. What would you want to live in? I mean maybe

[1:32:27] Dante's Peak. I don't know which one's got. Yeah that's a good one right? You got Pierce Brosnan. I like that one.

[1:32:33] It's also localized like if you're not near Dante's Peak you're pretty much

[1:32:36] cool. Yeah that's in the deleted scenes of people just hanging out somewhere. Just people having barbecues in the Midwest and

[1:32:48] like isn't it weird there's a volcano in LA or something right now? Yeah I'm gonna pick that one too. Like yeah like volcano but I'm in

[1:32:54] Ohio so just like oh yeah man I get to watch it and then Randy Newman sings I

[1:32:59] Love LA and everything's great. Yeah that's it. Is Reign of Fire a disaster

[1:33:04] movie? Do dragons count as a disaster? That counts as a disaster yeah. Okay then maybe

[1:33:09] dragons because I'd keep one as a pet and it would be my best friend and I'd learn how to

[1:33:14] train it. I don't think you paid attention to that movie. I just saw the poster. Yes final

[1:33:20] question. This is it everybody. My name is Rachel. Last name is a secret.

[1:33:26] Also even if you wanted to not withhold it you couldn't. I'm very sorry that the

[1:33:32] podcast listeners are not going to get to see Elliot's beautifully Wikipedia

[1:33:36] researched presentation about our beautiful city Washington DC. People in

[1:33:43] Washington DC love Washington DC. So I don't know if anybody has made movies

[1:33:50] about local DC politics. That might be a next research project. It might be very

[1:33:55] interesting because we have some doozies around here and specifically my

[1:34:00] question is which do you think is worse the politicians in Geostorm who are

[1:34:05] trying to actually control the weather or the sitting elected Washington DC

[1:34:10] official who is still a seated official who bought into the conspiracy theory

[1:34:17] and publicly said so that he thought people were controlling the weather

[1:34:19] which is worse. I think definitely our current real-life people are worse

[1:34:25] because... Well one it's not a movie so it can hurt us. Yeah but also at least in

[1:34:31] Geostorm like apparently they actually had the political will to do something

[1:34:35] about climate change which is the most fantastic thing that happens in Geostorm.

[1:34:41] Even Geostorm is like there's bad guys in the government but not the president.

[1:34:47] Like the president only wants puppies and candy canes for everyone. Yeah I mean

[1:34:53] it feels like the only bad guy in the government in Geostorm is like an

[1:34:57] outlier right? Yeah well we don't know about... I don't know maybe the postmaster general. He's just a rocket launcher

[1:35:04] aficionado who went bad. He just shows up at his office at the at the State

[1:35:10] Department building with that rocket launcher he's like this is my right I

[1:35:13] can have this. I'm just gonna keep it over my desk. I think we're all in

[1:35:16] agreement that we prefer the politicians of Geostorm. A movie where the Secretary

[1:35:20] of State after while being arrested says how did you and Andy Garcia says because

[1:35:25] I'm the damn president of the United States. Is that maybe the most unearned

[1:35:34] little bit of machismo considering Andy Garcia has done nothing to be helpful

[1:35:38] throughout the entire movie? Other than suggest a couple get married. Yeah well I mean he's

[1:35:43] the matchmaker president which is pretty fantastic. When Max is like we got

[1:35:48] to send a team of scientists up there and Andy Garcia goes no no no one

[1:35:51] scientist who we can control and it's like what do you expect them to do up

[1:35:55] there? But also the idea that like even if it wasn't Gerard Butler and it all

[1:36:00] worked according to plan that there's this one guy who's got this long to-do

[1:36:02] list of things to fix on the station. Oh also there's a problem in the men's room.

[1:36:06] I'll get to it. I'll get to it. All right well that's I mean that's it. I have to

[1:36:13] pee as much as you guys do. So I would like to thank you all for coming out.

[1:36:19] Some quick housekeeping. There's merch downstairs and we will be down there as

[1:36:24] soon as we can. As soon as Dan is done peeing. As soon as I'm done peeing and

[1:36:29] cleaning up the tech stuff that I have here we'll be downstairs. We'll sign stuff

[1:36:35] if you want it to be signed and also after that if we are not too tired we

[1:36:40] will be at Rocket Bar and I believe that's the official like meetup place

[1:36:45] for listeners whether or not we're there. That's what was decided online so

[1:36:51] if you want to go to Rocket Bar you can and that's it. I mean even if there

[1:36:56] wasn't a meet up there you could go there if you wanted to. It's within your

[1:36:58] power. Yeah it's not as Trump hasn't taken that away from us. Thank you

[1:37:04] everybody for coming to see us. Thank you for everybody at the Sixth and I

[1:37:07] synagogue for having us taking care of us. Hey for the flop house. I've been Dan

[1:37:13] McCoy. I've been Stuart Wellington and I'm Elliot Kaelin. Thank you everybody.

[1:37:30] Okay two things I'm gonna say. That's called commanding a stage. Yeah one you

[1:37:36] guys did great and we didn't even tell you you were supposed to do that so nice

[1:37:39] work. Two I kind of like that Stuart's bared forearms got a bigger response

[1:37:45] than the city you live in. All right. You can call someone real quick. Yeah well I

[1:37:55] you know my mom I haven't talked to her in a while you know she keeps dodging

[1:38:01] you. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.

Ep. #265 - Geostorm LIVE

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