Ep. #266 - Slamma Jamma

[0:00] On this episode we discuss Slamma Jamma.

[0:03] The movie that asks the question, is it possible to fake the funk on a nasty dunk?

[0:10] And if so, would you?

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:41] Oh, hey there. It's me, Stuart Wellington.

[0:43] And in California, it's father of two, Elliot Kalin. How are you guys doing?

[0:48] Two shades of blue.

[0:49] It's been a while since we all recorded together because of Elliot's second baby and my move.

[0:57] Your second apartment.

[0:59] my second apartment yeah now dan paint it why do we why did you have to move dan did you do

[1:05] something in your old apartment that made them kick you out well the non-funny answer is they

[1:10] raised my rent by one thousand dollars a month oh i mean it was kind of funny to see you get

[1:16] that email right before we went on a cruise yeah it's true i went on alaska cruise and i got the

[1:22] most stressful thing that could possibly get come through my email right beforehand but at least you

[1:28] got to go up to see the glaciers that will never go away that would never stress you out right just

[1:32] looking at it think about how the world is dying yeah how would it and if anything that would make

[1:37] your pitiful little apartment problem really sit in perspective right yeah i mean i mean in the

[1:43] global scale i am but an ant which makes me feel much better oh even on the national scale let alone

[1:49] the global scale anyway so uh that's not true you're a citizen and you're the rights inherent

[1:54] thereof so dan we're sitting in your new apartment can you describe it for the listeners uh that's

[1:59] one of the things uh because we're an apartment review podcast right well it's filled it's filled

[2:05] with trap doors all over the place okay cool so wait do you shoot alf in your apartment is that

[2:11] what you're saying oh yeah yeah why did you shoot why do you shoot alf here dan well is it because

[2:17] of what he said you put all those trap doors in so that the alf puppeteer can be on the same level

[2:22] as the people with the puppet?

[2:23] Yeah, that's right.

[2:25] I'm working on my ALF reboot,

[2:27] and this one, the humans are the aliens.

[2:30] Okay, interesting.

[2:33] That's the thing that I always think about now,

[2:38] which I wish I had known when I was a kid about ALF,

[2:40] which is that the set floor was full of trap doors

[2:42] for the puppeteer to stand through.

[2:44] So it was like everyone had to deliver their lines

[2:47] while also making sure they didn't trip into a trap door

[2:49] and kill themselves.

[2:51] alf is really a much more exciting show if you think of it that way yeah uh i don't know what

[2:57] do you want to know about the apartment i think that stewart is trying to lead me into the fact

[3:00] that there's a second bedroom in the apartment now yeah so we're recording this episode and we

[3:05] are crammed into a tiny little corner in the living room uh yes i guess we can tell everybody

[3:11] dan has multiple rooms in his apartment i'm living high on the hog uh and there is an entirely

[3:20] unused bedroom that we could easily be recording in that probably has even uh less ambient noise

[3:27] because it's not as close to the street yeah that's true i mean other people have actually

[3:31] pointed this out to me too yeah the fact that like and because we're on the ground floor uh if anyone

[3:36] was planning on breaking in and kidnapping dan uh any bfgs out there or archie that would be

[3:42] catnapping um if they look in through wait wait but it wouldn't be kidnapping dan dan's not a kid

[3:48] i guess he's young at heart i'm young mentally i mean if you're if you were to look at his like

[3:54] book collection you would assume that he's a kid that's true you'd be like no adult would

[3:58] have this many duck comics i i i'm currently using my second bedroom as a uh library mostly

[4:07] because there's no other place for my book collection to go and it's is that until they

[4:12] deliver the sex swing yes yeah and it's much more convenient because i have on the rare occasions

[4:17] that i have a lady over to the house i do i do uh worry that she'll look at all the duck comics go

[4:23] nope and just turn around and put a coat back on and go home

[4:26] uh and and for many other reasons not listed under duck comics she'd be making the right choice

[4:35] a little harsh thing to say just kidding just kidding uh just just kidding just kidding it's

[4:44] cool oh okay it's cool because he said just kidding guys he said jk so you can say dan you're

[4:51] a you're a sad sack and you're a poor excuse for a human jk jk jk it's okay yeah uh but what i'm

[4:58] trying what i was what i was leading to is the fact that anybody anybody off the street could

[5:03] walk by dan's apartment look in through the windows and see a couple of idiots sitting here

[5:08] being alex incorporated or whatever we are is that reference even valid anymore did that show get

[5:14] canceled yeah i think it got pre-canceled i mean no it aired a few episodes i'm looking at

[5:20] hollywood kalen over there and he's shocked he is dumbfounded he's like what's zach braff gonna do

[5:25] with himself i was i didn't want to look i didn't i live in hollywood now so i cannot bad mouth zach

[5:31] braff let's just the most powerful man in the city he's he's so powerful that i mean even he

[5:37] could almost get that show on the air so yeah should we move on to the movie yeah what do we

[5:44] do on this podcast oh this is a podcast so this is so it's called the flop house because we review

[5:49] houses we just reviewed dan's apartment and now it's on to reviewing the white house it has what

[5:55] 100 rooms it's all blinding white looks pretty fancy dan what do you think that was surprisingly

[6:02] vague coming from you, Elliot.

[6:03] I was expecting genuine White House facts,

[6:06] actually. Well, the White House

[6:08] was built at some point in the past

[6:10] and many famous people have lived

[6:12] there and also some

[6:14] died there, some did not.

[6:16] Food is served there, so there is a full

[6:18] kitchen. I believe there's at least

[6:20] three bathrooms and

[6:22] it's good for entertaining. There's a large

[6:24] lawn. Don't they also

[6:26] brew beer there?

[6:28] I don't know if they do now,

[6:30] but they might brew it off-site.

[6:32] But I know that Ellis Obama had a couple beers that were brewed for him.

[6:37] So anyway, the White House, it's available for rent now.

[6:40] I think it's $4,500 a month, which is a good price for a place that size and that location.

[6:45] And how many rooms did you say were in that house?

[6:48] At least three bedrooms and at least two bathrooms.

[6:52] So at least one of those rooms would have a tiny little corner for us to podcast from.

[6:56] All right.

[6:58] So, Dan, what do we do for real on this podcast?

[7:01] Let's cut the shenanigans.

[7:02] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[7:06] And right now it's the month of September, which means that it's small-tember.

[7:11] It's Basket Buddies, where we review movies and how they match up to, we try and sync them up to the movie Basket Case.

[7:21] Yeah, yeah.

[7:22] No, it's September Madness.

[7:24] That's when we review March Madness similar basketball movies.

[7:29] And I think that's what we do from now on, Dan, is September is now basketball month, September Madness.

[7:33] Who's with me?

[7:34] I don't know, because Small Vember is actually probably my favorite month after Cagemas, or maybe before Cagemas.

[7:40] Shocktober is not your favorite month?

[7:43] You know, it's weird, but watching a bad horror movie doesn't make me as happy as it used to, Elliot.

[7:48] Oh, you're growing up, Stuart.

[7:50] I know.

[7:50] Now you just like watching bad indie films.

[7:53] Yep.

[7:54] Now, the beauty of Small Vember is that...

[7:58] Small Vember.

[7:59] Usually we have to confine ourselves to whatever dreck the studios are pushing out.

[8:04] And now we get to watch much more personal dreck that is put out by the vision of a few small, passionate people.

[8:16] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[8:17] We don't know that the people are small.

[8:19] Although this movie does have a pretty short guy in it.

[8:24] But yeah, so Small Vambers, I guess you'd call it, it's our, what, artisanal farm-to-table kind of bespoke Etsy month.

[8:32] Yeah, yeah, it's like, what, Miramax in the 90s.

[8:35] Except for some of the stuff that was going on at Miramax in the 90s, too.

[8:40] I think, not the best parallel comparison. Right, Dan?

[8:43] Yeah, I mean, I don't think he was bringing that up, but sure.

[8:48] Yeah, Dan, I was talking about the film content. I wasn't talking about the behind-the-scenes stuff.

[8:53] okay i hope not anyway what so here's i don't even want to make that joke so did we say what

[8:59] we do in this podcast we just launched into small member yeah no we said that we watched

[9:02] bad movie and then we talk about it okay so dan you already mentioned previously on the flop house

[9:07] what movie we watched so tell us again what's the title because i love hearing you say it

[9:12] it's called slamma jamma now this is not the slammin salmon right that's a different movie

[9:17] no that is a uh broken lizard joint okay who broke that lizard what happened to him

[9:23] uh life broke him oh that's so sad oh that's too bad uh so let's let's talk about this movie huh

[9:31] this is as wikipedia describes it a faith-based themed sports drama film uh that's with a that's

[9:38] actually pretty succinct yeah with a criminal justice reform subplot uh let's just talk about

[9:45] it this is a movie that stars a professional basketball player he's a former harlem globetrotter

[9:48] wait a minute in the part are you telling me that he is not a highly trained broadway actor

[9:55] uh he is not at that he is as the movie makes clear a very talented basketball player who is

[10:01] not a particularly talented actor sorry to say and it features a cameo later on in the film by

[10:07] an athlete who is particularly like uh not appropriate to the subject matter of the movie

[10:14] it's the it's the basketball movie that will have you asking why is there a cameo from a baseball

[10:19] player in this basketball movie and why is he judging a dunk competition uh and i will say

[10:25] right off the bat yeah he doesn't he doesn't have the credentials to be dunk judging probably the

[10:31] most interesting thing about this movie is that it was shot by the same cinematographer who shot

[10:35] who framed roger rabbit and big trouble in little china and a number of other movies what uh back

[10:41] the future parts two and three uh that explains why they uh why they shot a lot of it in toontown

[10:47] but uh it's uh that joke's that joke's funny i'm just gonna explain to everybody that joke's

[10:57] funny because it would be ridiculous to have a movie that features both basketball and cartoon

[11:01] characters that would be crazy who would dream of such a thing that kind of a jam anyway uh dan

[11:10] what kind of jam do you think that would be uh apricot okay i was looking for space but that's

[11:16] okay okay uh let's get into it right off the bat uh we get some amazingly bad green screen action

[11:23] as we see a college basketball star michael he plays for usc he is dominating a game full of

[11:29] dunks he's a master dunker his name is michael diggs and the sportscasters cannot get enough

[11:35] of him yeah and uh and it's it is this is shot in all black and white right it's like it's sepia

[11:41] tone for something that should that takes place six years ago yeah so it's like oh we got to make

[11:46] it clear that this is the past of 2012 uh when everything was sepia tones and michael diggs you

[11:52] also know it's uh it takes place in the past because michael diggs has uh the most beautiful

[11:57] head of curly hair the most realistic looking head of curly hair i've ever seen i feel like

[12:03] we all owe an apology to the movie samson when we criticize their wigs when we didn't realize that

[12:08] this movie would basically take the wind sock off of a boom mic fill it full of helium stick it on

[12:14] the actor's head and you're like there that's your wig for the day it's like it is the craziest way

[12:20] to de-age somebody is to put the fakest possible wig on them it's anyway dan how would you describe

[12:26] this wig uh it's you know it's a bunch of brillo pads strung together maybe around the head it's a

[12:36] very fake looking wig but michael he he just loves wearing this with his hair in this fake wig

[12:41] fashion he's dominating the game but then cut to the present a series of very fast news reports

[12:47] like it's like somebody else is flipping through the channels and you're like hey hey hold on hold

[12:51] on can i see what's going on in any of these shows uh quick news reports say that he is on trial for

[12:56] armed robbery he's convicted of armed robbery and he's been sentenced to six years in prison

[13:00] for armed robbery what happened to michael diggs he was a dunk master how did he become a crime

[13:05] master well slamma jamma has the answers if you'll be patient enough to wait for them uh you'll find

[13:12] out how the jamma goes to the slamma oh that's why it's slamma i mean it's not really it's a slam

[13:22] dunk but anyway uh i'm surprised it wasn't like from the slam dunks to the slammer as the tagline

[13:30] but as far as i know this movie had no tagline because why would you need it why didn't this

[13:34] movie had a tagline the tagline was like this is also in theaters

[13:38] uh so so that the tagline was featuring jose canseco in a bizarre cameo appearance

[13:47] but uh so it's six years later as the screen helpfully tells us six years later and michael

[13:52] is leaving prison and at this point the movie had already given me whiplash and i think we were five

[13:56] minutes into it yep michael didn't tell anyone in his family he was getting out that day he hasn't

[14:01] thought about his future the warden offers him a drive home but he turns it down yeah i love that

[14:07] it's the warden that's leading them out like warden is the most personally involved warden

[14:11] you've ever seen in a prison film who's not just like involved because he's torturing a character

[14:17] like when his uh girlfriend comes to visit him later on it's the warden who personally goes out

[14:24] and says i'm sorry he doesn't want to see you and you're like yeah don't you have like paperwork to

[14:28] do or something i think this is one of those privately owned prisons and he's the one guy

[14:33] someone's calling from the governor's office right now to pardon someone and they're like

[14:36] well we can't get through yeah yeah the warden's busy talking to this one inmate's fiancee

[14:41] yeah i mean i all my knowledge about the prison system is based on the movie uh rickio story of

[14:47] Ricky. So I'm assuming the warden should be spending all his time becoming the very best

[14:51] at Kung Fu. Probably. Yeah. I do like the idea, Dan, that if Michael had taken him up on that

[14:56] drive and they're like, we're about to execute this prisoner. We have five minutes, but the

[15:01] governor wants to pardon him. That call's going to get through. And they're calling the warden's

[15:05] cell phone and he looks at the phone and he's like, I'm driving. If it's important to leave

[15:09] a message. So Michael, what are you going to do with yourself? I don't know. I haven't figured

[15:12] it out also usually part of your release from prison is them helping you plan something so that

[15:19] you can like or at least you telling them you have some kind of plan and a place to stay so that you

[15:24] don't fall back into a life of crime but this is a pretty laid-back prison they don't have to worry

[15:27] about that stuff this is like the cool warden who turns the chair around before he sits down to talk

[15:31] to you do you think that do you think that warden walks everybody to the gate because he's like

[15:36] every time he's hoping that that person's just gonna go on like a revenge mission

[15:40] oh i assumed he thought the warden is like maybe this is the prisoner who decides he likes it more

[15:45] in here than outside and comes and that he likes me for me and he's gonna every time he leads a

[15:50] prisoner out he's hoping it's a if you love something set it free type of scenario and

[15:54] he's hoping they come back that's a that's a really fun way to put put recidivism into perspective

[16:00] just means they love the ward yeah uh so michael takes a bus home he discovers that the bus fare

[16:06] has gone up quite a bit i think it costs 375 to ride the bus which is crazy and the driver is like

[16:11] hey aren't you michael diggs and he's like yeah yeah i am uh he walks by a local laundromat and

[16:17] sees his mom but doesn't say hi but then he goes straight home where his mom is cleaning the sink

[16:21] because his mom apparently can teleport yeah the best part is when he walks into that laundromat

[16:25] he like walks up and like waves and she doesn't see him and he looks sad and i'm like she just

[16:30] didn't see you she's not ignoring me i think her back was too home like yeah yes it was she he

[16:35] wave to her back and he's like huh i guess mom has rejected me it's like did you forget how humans

[16:41] work while you're in prison i don't understand uh but he goes to home and he says he's a changed man

[16:47] and she says his brother his younger brother tay is not doing well which she says twice very

[16:52] meaningfully tay is the only character that we know by name for a while right yeah well we know

[16:58] michael's name well like i still have no idea what the name of his two goofy friends are because i

[17:03] don't feel oh i don't either he has these two friends we meet later one of them is dumb and

[17:07] one is not and i do not know what their names are yeah but we uh it's the the names don't come easy

[17:13] in this movie but uh like uh i'm looking at the cast list right now on wikipedia and i thought his

[17:21] his fiancee's name was lisa right uh-huh i don't remember but that name is not listed in the cast

[17:26] as a character so maybe i misunderstood it uh anyway uh she says your brother's not doing well

[17:33] what does that mean is he is he sick no it turns out he's falling into a life of crime but michael

[17:38] first he has to go he goes looking for his brother and he gets a job he gets hired at what is called

[17:43] a grocery store but seems to be a hardware store it's a confused store it's a hardware store with

[17:48] a walk with a walk-in well they gotta keep the claw hammers cold yeah and it's like he lives in

[17:56] los angeles right so the idea maybe i thought maybe this is like a frontier dry goods general

[18:01] store that just has everything like i need a shovel and a life jacket and also a box of cereal

[18:07] well this is the one store in town so we have all those things yeah but but no it's just it's just

[18:12] one of those and the manager of the store is so busy he's like there's a mess in the aisle you

[18:17] know what i don't have time to look over your paperwork you're hired even though he doesn't

[18:20] have experience he says the guy goes so how much do you have much experience experience what at a

[18:24] grocery store come on man forget about it anyway what that was uh we just got a glimpse of elliot's

[18:31] interview when he interviewed at a Wegmans

[18:33] I interviewed at a Piggly Wiggly

[18:36] and they're like do you have much experience I was like doing

[18:39] what come on

[18:40] anyway I didn't get the job I could read you

[18:43] the entirety of A and P

[18:45] but from memory but

[18:47] so is that a real

[18:51] thing Tay walks in

[18:53] while Michael is working and Michael's like

[18:55] hey Tay it's me your brother

[18:56] I just got out of jail I work at the grocery

[18:59] hardware store now. And Tay is like,

[19:01] yeah, yeah, cool, whatever, and walks out.

[19:03] Not a great brother. I mean,

[19:04] he was probably just super dejected

[19:07] that his brother cut off that super cool

[19:09] hair.

[19:09] Maybe he saw his brother's head

[19:13] and he's like, I share

[19:15] the same genes as him.

[19:16] Not literally, I'm not talking about his blue

[19:19] genes. I'm talking about his

[19:21] genetic code. I mean, he probably has hand-me-down blue

[19:23] genes from his older brother. I mean, that's what happens to

[19:25] younger brothers. But that's unrelated to why

[19:26] he'd be concerned. He's concerned that when he sees his

[19:28] brother he's like is my hair all going to fall out and not be this super cool curly hair ow but

[19:35] tay has pretty short hair i don't know if i remember which character's tay now

[19:41] so tay maybe tay is like prison's changed you you don't have the same hair anymore forget it

[19:48] anyway uh michael okay here's where the plot kicks in kind of uh michael decided while he's

[19:54] wandering around in his sad stupor uh he joins a pickup basketball game and he's a little rusty

[20:00] but then he does a big dunk boom he's back everyone's like whoa you can really dunk and

[20:05] this is where he picks up his two friends let's just call them white guy can jump because he's

[20:09] a white guy who can play basketball player and dumb guy because the other friend is kind of

[20:13] stupid but very well-meaning like he's a he's kind of a puppy dog of a man uh and then he's

[20:18] they're like who are you man and this guy named terrell walks out and says that's michael diggs

[20:22] He could have been a professional, but then he went to jail.

[20:25] And it turns out Terrell is a sports agent who has a shady past with Michael.

[20:29] And Terrell is played by a real-life athlete.

[20:33] Is he a famous basketball player?

[20:34] No, famous football player, because there's only room for one real basketball player in the movie, I guess.

[20:40] Stuart, you were going to say?

[20:41] Was this the basketball match where there's a full crowd watching, but only two people were making any noise, and they were narrating the whole match to each other?

[20:50] I believe so.

[20:52] I believe that's – I think that's what it is or I don't think that's later when we have the basketball game where everyone can join and is instantly an amazing basketball player.

[21:01] I love that.

[21:01] So Michael is depressed.

[21:03] We know this because he's lying in bed tossing a basketball into the air.

[21:06] We know he's depressed the way he handles a basketball.

[21:08] Later on when he's really depressed, he's sitting on bleachers and he just drops a basketball and it rolls away.

[21:13] I assume – and there's a close-up of the basketball rolling.

[21:16] I assume in a nod to the shot in M, when Fritz Lang represents the death of a little girl by showing the ball that she dropped roll to a stop in the grass, and we know that the child killer, played by Peter Lorre, has ended her life.

[21:29] I assume that was an homage on the part of director Timothy Che.

[21:34] But maybe I'm wrong.

[21:35] I don't know.

[21:35] So Michael, he's like, you know what would cheer me up right now?

[21:38] I'll go visit my ex-girlfriend Lisa.

[21:40] Uh-oh.

[21:42] Turns out she's dating his former best friend and teammate, Craig, who I thought was named TJ for a while.

[21:47] But I guess they said CJ probably because his name is Craig Jackson.

[21:52] Because he looks exactly like TJ Miller.

[21:54] Yeah, he looks just like TJ Miller and he shops at TJ Maxx.

[21:58] So I thought it was the same guy.

[22:00] CJ is now a major professional basketball player.

[22:04] He makes millions of dollars.

[22:07] I think they say he plays for the Clippers.

[22:08] And he gets pissed off that Lisa is barely friendly to Michael.

[22:12] So there's a moment when Michael shows up at Lisa's house and Lisa's mom comes to the door.

[22:19] And I was like 100% sure that that was going to be Lisa.

[22:23] And I'm like, oh, awesome.

[22:25] Like, yeah, she has an age grade, but that's okay.

[22:28] But no, we're introduced to Lisa, who is much more traditional romantic lead material.

[22:37] As in that she is young and beautiful.

[22:39] Yeah.

[22:40] Yeah.

[22:41] I thought for a second this movie was going to, you know, strike a blow for, I don't know, like ageism or something in movies.

[22:48] No, this movie is not interested in striking a blow for anyone except God.

[22:53] We'll get to that.

[22:54] And Craig is driving Lisa to a club or something, and he's like, why are you so nice to Michael?

[23:00] And he's so mad that he almost hit somebody with his fancy car and does not care.

[23:04] Oh, yeah, that was awesome.

[23:04] This guy is bad news.

[23:06] it's like it's hard to believe they were even friends at any point uh and it's also one of

[23:10] those things where you're like why is lisa with this guy he's so different from her ex-fiance

[23:15] michael and it's like is did she just move on to the next guy who was closest to be around like

[23:21] also a lot of times in these movies you'll see a woman leaves a guy and then starts dating a guy

[23:27] who is the complete opposite and maybe i mean maybe that's yeah it's the fucking count of

[23:31] monte cristo all over again yep inventor of the sandwich that bears his name the other thing that

[23:37] was confusing to me about this relationship was that uh the craig is that his name sure

[23:43] yeah his uh he later on he's like i'm worth 24 million dollars or something like that

[23:49] because he's an nba star and uh lisa is apparently still living at her old address like in what the

[23:58] The movie, these are like inner city areas.

[24:01] Why? Because everyone's black, Dan?

[24:04] I don't think that's necessarily the case.

[24:06] Because they're poor.

[24:07] The main family in it is expressly poor.

[24:10] They're living on the edge of poverty.

[24:12] Yeah, but we don't know that Lisa is.

[24:14] I'm just saying that she...

[24:17] All right, that's true.

[24:18] But it seems like...

[24:19] No, but it's fair.

[24:21] It's confusing.

[24:21] Aside from Craig's car,

[24:23] nobody seems to be regularly interacting

[24:25] with someone who is making millions of dollars.

[24:28] Who knows?

[24:28] Maybe Lisa just happens to be home that night because she's visiting her mother.

[24:33] Could be.

[24:34] That's possible, too.

[24:35] And Michael just lucked out.

[24:37] Because he doesn't know her new address.

[24:40] I think you're probably right.

[24:41] Michael's back at work.

[24:43] He sees his old lawyer who is sad because she failed him so badly.

[24:48] This is the third or fourth character that's introduced where I'm like, this person is a producer of the movie, right?

[24:57] Like this is some kind of like perk for giving money to the movie.

[25:03] This is a character who only exists in relationship to Michael.

[25:06] Like she's given no like interest or life of her own.

[25:10] She just like shows up periodically through the film to be like, again, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to save you, Michael.

[25:16] Like there's like three or four scenes where she shows up.

[25:19] She's just like kind of hanging around being like, I'm so sorry, Michael.

[25:22] Yeah, you were hoping that this lawyer character

[25:24] would be given a full-fledged life,

[25:27] that you would leave the movie wondering,

[25:31] I'm assuming that character is just going to go home

[25:33] and have a nice meal with her four cats that she's mentioned

[25:36] and give her aging father a call because she's mentioned him.

[25:41] That's what you're hoping for.

[25:43] No, I don't want that.

[25:45] I think it's funny that she only shows up to express regret

[25:50] and she does it three times in the movie.

[25:52] Yeah, and she has the same conversation with Michael

[25:56] that a few people have where she goes,

[25:57] Michael, when did you get out?

[25:58] And he goes, a few days ago, verbatim.

[26:01] Same conversation every time.

[26:03] But yeah, and then she says, I'm so sorry.

[26:05] And when you find out how weak the case against him is,

[26:08] you are like, oh, you're not a very good lawyer.

[26:09] I wonder, maybe she just doesn't have any clients anymore

[26:11] because she failed that case.

[26:13] Guys, I want to say we're right around the time

[26:15] when my favorite scene in the movie happens.

[26:17] Is this the moldy bread scene?

[26:19] Yes.

[26:20] That's where when Michael, having not gotten his paycheck yet because they get paid every two weeks for his lunch break, he gets a bag of moldy bread that they were going to throw out.

[26:31] And I'm like.

[26:31] Which they refer to as 30-day-old bread, which is also like, whoa, you leave the bread on the shelf for 30 days?

[26:36] And he pulls a piece out and it's covered with mold on all sides.

[26:41] Like it got down into the slices, like every single one.

[26:45] And I don't know what grocery stores, the kind of grocery stores they're running where they're like, leave it up there for another day.

[26:51] It'll keep.

[26:54] It's fine.

[26:54] It's called, well, I was trying to think of a pun off of Whole Foods, and I couldn't.

[27:01] I think it's just Mold Foods.

[27:02] Mold Foods.

[27:04] Damn, you got it.

[27:04] It was right in front of me.

[27:06] Yeah, it's called Mold Foods, and people go there for the mold.

[27:10] There is more fungus on this bread than a Jeff Vandermeer novel.

[27:14] Oh!

[27:15] so he uh so there's a scene where michael is eating this moldy bread and crying behind the

[27:26] dumpster as he as he squats behind the dumpster at work and it's like it's so sad that's hilarious

[27:33] like it's so over the top sad that it's hilarious it's also confusing to me because like there's a

[27:38] scene not that long before where his mom leaves him a meal of a spaghetti spaghetti dinner so

[27:45] like he's living with his mom it's you know like he's got some food he doesn't have to eat

[27:49] holy molded bread holy moly holy moly this bread is holy yeah as grandpa used to say

[27:59] right before he chowed down on that moldy bread well it was the depression yeah back then it was

[28:05] a delicacy he should have he just should have fucking rufio'd that shit and imagine he was

[28:09] eating mom's spaghetts instead of eating moldy bread i don't know if that works outside of

[28:14] never never land okay well uh i mean you could always try like i don't know i love the idea that

[28:20] you if you're ever like in a restaurant and you find i don't know like a hair in your food you're

[28:25] like well the joke's on them i'm gonna rufio this shit i'm gonna pretend this hair is the most

[28:28] delicious garlic bread ever made yeah just chow it down and i fear we're being insensitive i don't

[28:33] i want to make it clear we're not making fun of people who can't afford food the movie is just

[28:39] like so over the top

[28:41] in like bathos at this point

[28:43] when he's the movie has jumped

[28:45] so quickly to him

[28:47] eating moldy bread and he is not

[28:49] it the bread is so like everything about is

[28:51] over the top his performance the

[28:53] bread is over the top moldy like

[28:55] there I'm sure they're there I mean I know

[28:57] people who have taken food out of the garbage

[28:59] to eat it because they've had to like it's a terrible

[29:01] thing to have to do unless you're a freegan

[29:03] and you somehow think that you're

[29:04] saving humanity by not buying fresh

[29:07] food but I don't know that's not a thing but

[29:09] that is helping too many people it helps you i guess because it saves money on food but i don't

[29:14] know dan am i going over the over the line by going after freegans i have no idea anymore

[29:18] i love the work of director william freegan is that is that what freegan connection is that is

[29:24] that what quark is in deep space nine no that's that's a ferengi stewart that's oh no he is a

[29:31] frank he is a freegan too because you know what he goes over to uh he goes over to the bar that

[29:37] whoopi goldberg runs next generation he just takes the food that they throw out because it's not

[29:41] fresh and fresh anymore so he's a freaking ferengi that's true okay well uh i i guess i'll get

[29:46] partial credit on that star trek joke on your star trek test anyway uh no you're right dan we

[29:53] should make clear we're not making fun of poverty here we are making fun of this movie's ridiculous

[29:57] depiction of it and then while he's eating that moldy bread he flashes back to him losing a dunk

[30:02] contest and you know he's young because he's wearing that crazy wig he's just trying too hard

[30:06] to invent new dunks everyone's like you gotta stick to what you know stop trying to innovate

[30:11] the world of dunks just be safe wait that happened boring yeah did i get up and get a beer during

[30:17] that i think dan and i were up getting beers yeah it's a very quick flashback anyway uh michael he

[30:24] wants to go take a talk he wants to save tay from a life of crime so he goes to talk to tay's gang

[30:29] leader boss a character whose name you're you guessed it i did not catch during the length of

[30:33] the film uh and the gang boss is like no it's cool we don't sell drugs anymore now we push guns

[30:38] the market's always there and uh michael tells tay don't join this gang but tay is like mom needs

[30:44] money she has expensive hospital bills this is the first time we've learned of that although we

[30:48] have seen mom cough a couple times i think which is movie shorthand for deathly ill yeah it's like

[30:55] it's like any time a woman vomits in a movie you're like she's pregnant yeah and any time that

[31:01] a man uh does anything in a movie someone in the audience is going to be like awesome no matter how

[31:09] stupid it is okay wow elliot taking holding movies to task well really movie viewers that one guy but

[31:18] anyway uh so dan guess what it's time for maybe my favorite scene in the movie other than the

[31:25] moldy bread scene because michael's gonna play a basketball game and this is the basketball game

[31:29] where they're going to break down some of our assumptions

[31:31] about who can and who can't dunk basketballs.

[31:34] Because Michael's playing this basketball game

[31:36] and then a woman says she wants to play.

[31:37] And the other guys are like, no way, no way.

[31:39] And Michael's like, no, let's let her play.

[31:41] Yeah, the one dumb guy is like, no way.

[31:44] No way.

[31:45] The guy with the little beard and the big hair.

[31:48] Yeah.

[31:48] What's his name?

[31:49] What's his name, Elliot?

[31:50] You wrote it down, right?

[31:51] I don't remember.

[31:53] I mean, we can call him Gus, maybe.

[31:55] Does Gus work as a name?

[31:56] Or like Hiram?

[31:57] Can we call him that?

[31:59] I don't know.

[31:59] So she's got all kinds of trick moves, including one where she rolls the basketball over her neck in a way that I don't see how it helps her necessarily, but it's pretty cool.

[32:08] I mean, all of her things were trick moves.

[32:11] I kept waiting for her to be doing a trick move, and a guy would just come up and be like, yoink, and take the ball away from her.

[32:16] That does not happen.

[32:18] Dan's not a fan of showboating in sports.

[32:21] The fundamentals, that's what I care about.

[32:24] Solid fundamentals, that's what you say every time.

[32:27] You're also one of those guys where when a team wins a football game, you're like, they just wanted it more.

[32:32] That sounds exactly like me.

[32:34] That's what it comes down to.

[32:36] It does have my favorite moment.

[32:39] My podcast with myself?

[32:39] This scene has my favorite moment in the movie where she bonks the dumb guy in the face with a basketball, and there's a cartoon sound effect.

[32:49] That's like, boing.

[32:53] It's crazy that they found an actor whose head makes that noise when a basketball is bounced off of it.

[32:58] It just makes me wonder if he has to deal with that all the time when he gets bonked on the nose by things accidentally.

[33:03] If people laugh at him and he's like, no, I'm in real pain right now.

[33:06] Please stop making that laugh.

[33:08] Is that laughing at that noise that my body makes?

[33:10] And then the dumb guy, they keep tricking him to asking her out.

[33:14] She keeps saying no, and he just cannot get it through his thick head that she doesn't want to go out.

[33:19] Yeah, he's like Joe Latruglio's character in the first season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

[33:23] And at that point, you're like, okay, they made their point.

[33:27] Anyone can play basketball, and Michael is very welcoming to people.

[33:31] Uh-oh, no, the scene's not over yet.

[33:33] Dan, who enters the stage now?

[33:35] A little person enters the stage.

[33:38] Uh-huh, a little person.

[33:39] And the dumb guy, Gus Hiram, having recognized his error earlier, is like,

[33:45] hey, nobody make fun of this little guy.

[33:47] Hey, nobody. Hey, little guy, you want to be on my team?

[33:50] Uh-oh. Condescension is just as bad as rejection because this guy plays rings around him to the point where it looks like they're not even trying that hard to guard him in a case of what I suspect is them not trying that hard for the sake of the scene.

[34:05] And this little person, he's just a great basketball player. They all are.

[34:11] It is like he, the dumb guy, is Darth Tyrannus and the little person is Yoda, Jedi Master, just flipping all over the place, doing all kinds of moves.

[34:24] And these scenes go on for so long that you're like, surely this movie is introducing new characters that are important to the plot.

[34:32] Nope.

[34:33] The woman disappears until the training montage at the end.

[34:36] The little person is not seen hide nor hair of for the rest of the film.

[34:40] He's not the guy later who is told he's too short to dunk when he dunks, right?

[34:44] That's a different guy?

[34:45] There's another guy who's like five foot who –

[34:47] Five-five, I think.

[34:48] Yeah.

[34:48] But they're not the same.

[34:50] That's the guy who the agent is making fun of.

[34:55] Yes.

[34:55] Yes, yeah.

[34:56] There's a scene – and that was one of those moments where I was like, oh, that's how tall I am.

[35:01] But he looks really short because everyone in this movie is really tall because they're basketball players.

[35:04] At the end, let me just – this is a spoiler alert.

[35:07] There's a big dunking competition at the end.

[35:09] And the announcer says, this guy is 5'9".

[35:11] He's the shortest guy in the competition.

[35:12] I was like, oh, he's almost half a foot taller than me.

[35:15] Like, that's crazy.

[35:16] But he's taller than my dad, the shortest guy in the competition.

[35:20] But anyway, here's the thing.

[35:22] Here's what I realized about this movie.

[35:23] This movie is to basketball what, like, a lot of martial arts movies are to martial arts.

[35:29] Where it's like, oh, I'm not watching this for the plot.

[35:31] I'm watching this to see these guys pull off their insane moves and show their different fighting styles.

[35:36] This movie basically exists so you can watch different types of basketball being played.

[35:40] Like, the plot is just there to get us from dunk to dunk.

[35:43] It's not a, like, a stirring tale of redemption and, like, not being defined by the traumas that you've experienced?

[35:53] I mean, yeah, it's that, too.

[35:55] Sure, it's that, but mainly in service of nasty dunks.

[35:58] So, this is when the movie takes a turn for the soulful.

[36:05] literally, in that a man named Pastor Soul is introduced.

[36:07] Michael goes to an abandoned church where Pastor Soul...

[36:10] Pastor Soul sounds like a villain in a Wild West role-playing game.

[36:14] Pastor Soul is just perching in this abandoned church like the crow.

[36:19] Like, he just kind of haunts it.

[36:20] Modeling his many hats.

[36:22] And he's a man of many hats.

[36:24] A man of one god, but many hats.

[36:26] I love that he's got one of those Panama hats that has the mesh body

[36:31] so you can see his head through it.

[36:35] And such that you can see the halo above his head.

[36:38] Pastor Soule says, Michael, you can be a role model.

[36:42] And he says, you can have redemption.

[36:43] Help me fix up this church.

[36:45] You guessed it.

[36:46] He's going to get his basketball friends to help him clean up the church, which entails moving one pew.

[36:51] And then they distract him by asking him to tell them the story of how he ended up in jail.

[36:57] It turns out he had everything.

[36:59] He was a dunk star.

[37:01] He was headed for the majors.

[37:02] And head is the important word here because he had a lovely head of hair.

[37:07] Yeah, because he had a very realistic head of styrofoam hair.

[37:10] But then this guy goes, hey, a friend of mine is a big fan of yours.

[37:15] If I pay you $1,000, will you meet him?

[37:18] And he said, sounds legit.

[37:19] Sounds on the up and up.

[37:20] You got it, buddy.

[37:21] Stranger that I met on the street.

[37:23] He takes the $1,000, and this stranger, whose name is Red, I think.

[37:27] He's one of the few guys I think who gets a name.

[37:29] He takes him to a gun store.

[37:32] That has all of the production values of every interior set from Seinfeld, a show that I've been watching a lot lately and noticing how incredibly cheap and fake almost every set in it looks.

[37:43] So it has the fakeness of that, and he goes, hey, oh, wow, the guy who runs the store is like, oh, you're Michael Diggs.

[37:49] It's really great to meet you.

[37:51] And Red is like, yeah, it is, isn't it?

[37:52] Pulls out a gun.

[37:53] Okay, give us all your money.

[37:54] And Michael Diggs is like, don't do this, man.

[37:56] Don't do this.

[37:56] And then, unprompted by anything, he shoots and kills the owner.

[38:00] Uh-oh.

[38:02] Now he's an accomplice.

[38:03] But it's a perfect crime because there's no witnesses, right?

[38:06] There's no witnesses.

[38:09] Except for there's an elderly lady that they push past when they run out of the store.

[38:14] Which is like, what time are they doing this crime?

[38:18] Crime time.

[38:20] And I guess that woman is in a stop or my mom will shoot sort of situation, by the way.

[38:25] Yeah, let's follow her.

[38:27] She's an elderly lady who's just on the market for a Glock.

[38:31] Yeah, we missed the citizen's arrest where she chased down their car T2 style.

[38:36] But this is the point where I was shouting at the screen, what was their plan?

[38:42] Because they go in, the guy, I guess, quote unquote, distracts him with Michael, shoots him in the face, and then they both leave without stealing anything.

[38:51] I don't know what the point was.

[38:53] And he's like, let me get local star Michael Diggs or whatever his name is.

[38:59] The most recognizable man in town.

[39:01] Let me get him.

[39:02] He won't – yeah, everyone will know who he is, and he won't turn me in once he's caught inevitably.

[39:08] It's like – yeah, it's like, Dan, if you were in town and you were like, I want to rob this store, but I don't want any money.

[39:16] Oh, Mayor Bloomberg, you just have me walking down the street.

[39:18] This guy here is a big fan of yours.

[39:20] Oh, yeah, sure.

[39:21] Okay.

[39:21] Come on in.

[39:22] And then you're running out, and you're like, why did I pick the most recognizable man in town?

[39:25] But anyway, then Michael's lawyer advised him to take a plea deal.

[39:31] She's a terrible lawyer.

[39:32] Let's just get that straight.

[39:33] And Michael tells Lisa, his life is over, and there's no God.

[39:40] And Lisa's like, don't say that.

[39:41] He's like, no, there's no God.

[39:42] The judge sentences him to 10 years in jail for basically not having better common sense.

[39:46] He's like, but I didn't do it.

[39:48] I didn't do it.

[39:50] And he's like, yeah, but you should have had better common sense.

[39:52] 10 years in jail, next case.

[39:54] His lawyer is giving her final argument, and the judge interrupts her.

[40:01] he's like i've heard enough excuses or something like that it's insane i mean i guess he shouldn't

[40:09] have agreed to have his murder trial at judge judy's court it was probably part of the problem

[40:13] he's like this is gonna sound like baloney she's not gonna be up for it she wasn't born yesterday

[40:19] and so she knows what rain is yeah he knows the rain and the difference between being having pee

[40:25] on her leg now here's the question she says don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining

[40:31] has that ever worked is there one why would you pee on someone's leg that's my question right at

[40:36] the beginning unless it's famed wrestler urinal leg bogs who had a urinal for a leg that he would

[40:41] use to kick people in the face with why would you pee on someone's leg and two why would you then

[40:46] excuse yourself by saying oh it's raining out it's not me i feel like i've definitely talked

[40:51] to people who have been peed on while at like a music festival but then did they say hey stop that

[40:57] and the guy said oh no it's raining here's the first thing i would do put my hand above my head

[41:02] to see if i could feel the rain and at that point you the urinator you have to try to arc your pee

[41:07] in the air so that it hits their hand and that's just difficult to do you gotta have a powerful

[41:12] stream yeah i mean at that yeah at that point you're probably halfway through peeing anyway so

[41:17] Your water is depleted.

[41:18] Yeah.

[41:19] And it's like having to slam dunk with pee.

[41:22] And as we know from this movie, slam dunking is very difficult, even though everyone can do it.

[41:26] Although, yeah, everybody does it.

[41:27] Dan, so if you were in that situation, you've been caught out for peeing on someone's leg.

[41:34] No, no, you're peeing on someone's leg and they called you out.

[41:37] What would you do?

[41:38] Would you go for this rain thing or do you have another pee card up your sleeve?

[41:42] I feel like I would just stick to my story because I feel like that's one of those cases where social pressure would be like, the guy eventually would just be like, I guess I'm wrong.

[41:51] When you say stick to my story, are you talking about one of those unpublished screenplays you've been working on?

[41:58] That's right.

[41:58] Because the dream of every screenwriter is to have their screenplay published.

[42:03] It's in its final finished state.

[42:07] You buy it in Canal Street or whatever.

[42:11] Did you say Canal Street?

[42:13] Canal Street, yeah.

[42:14] Stephen J. Cannell.

[42:16] What if Canal Street was named after Stephen J. Cannell?

[42:19] That would be amazing.

[42:19] It's on the corner of 18th Avenue and Riptide Boulevard.

[42:25] Anyway, in the present, Michael in the past, he didn't have faith in God,

[42:29] but now he says that his faith is what kept him sane in jail.

[42:31] He meets up with Lisa, who feels kind of rightfully that he abandoned her

[42:35] since she went to go visit him in jail and he sent out the warden to say he's not going to see you,

[42:39] which is pretty cold, pretty cold to send your bud the warden

[42:42] to deliver that message, and says that Craig...

[42:46] I think the warden just loves drama.

[42:48] So you think maybe he's like, no, Michael doesn't want to see you.

[42:54] And then he goes back and Michael's like, is Lisa ever going to visit?

[42:57] And he's like, Lisa says she doesn't want to visit you.

[42:59] And the warden's just stirring shit up, like a character on The Bachelor.

[43:03] Yeah, like one of the producers on one of those Real Housewives shows.

[43:09] The producer on Cheaters, who would always be like, or the host on Cheaters would be like, are you going to let him get away with that?

[43:14] Go talk to him.

[43:15] You know, he'd try to get a fight going.

[43:16] Cheaters, of course, the reality show where they catch people cheating on their significant others.

[43:22] The ethic problems, there aren't any.

[43:24] Totally ethical show.

[43:26] Okay, that's cool.

[43:27] Wasn't there a relative of yours that was like, oh, Cheaters, this is an interesting show.

[43:33] Should we watch this?

[43:34] Yeah, that was my father-in-law who did that.

[43:37] He's like, let's just see what this is.

[43:39] And my wife was like, dad, you watch this show all the time.

[43:42] Don't pretend you don't know what it is.

[43:45] He's a great guy.

[43:47] Don't judge him on that fact.

[43:48] That's amazing.

[43:49] And Lisa, so not only is she thinking about marrying Craig,

[43:52] but she's not so into God anymore.

[43:53] She's not so sure there is a God.

[43:55] Uh-oh.

[43:56] Her stance and Michael's stance on God has flipped.

[43:59] Yeah, she currently worships the almighty dollar.

[44:03] Actually, there is a scene later where the sports agent Terrell,

[44:07] lisa's like what about god and he holds up a dollar or a hundred dollar bill he goes this

[44:11] is my god and i sing his praises every day and it's like all right you've become a walking

[44:16] political cartoon you're like uh how about you do a couple bars then i want to hear this song

[44:21] like it would be funny to me if that thing had just like continued he would like he like pulled

[44:27] out a big crucifix and he's like nope and he cracks it over his leg yeah i mean i would like

[44:33] it if it turned into like a full-on musical and he just did like a big bit with like uh like satan

[44:38] and a bunch of people showing up oh yeah there's a coal choir there and then he he puts the he

[44:43] slits a goat's throat as a sacrifice and spills the blood on a 20 bill and is like drink it up

[44:49] andrew jackson drink it up my sacrifice to you the best of my flock anyway uh bad news for michael

[44:57] michael's boss says michael's fired they don't hire convicts at the store and uh and he's like

[45:03] He chokes on you, you did, I mean.

[45:05] And he's like, I'm sorry, I wouldn't have hired you.

[45:07] I was so busy, I didn't have time to read your application.

[45:09] And it's like, story checks out, he was very busy the day that he hired Michael.

[45:12] But it's weird, like, I mean, Michael's doing a good job.

[45:16] Why doesn't he just hush it up?

[45:18] It's not like there's going to be a scandal.

[45:20] No, one, who found out about this?

[45:23] And two, why doesn't he go to bat for Michael?

[45:24] Like, he's doing a great job.

[45:26] He's too afraid of losing his own job as manager of the grocery hardware store?

[45:29] Come on, man.

[45:30] He's an everyday hero.

[45:32] He said there's, like, a company-wide policy against hiring convicts.

[45:35] And I'm like, I don't know about the law, but, like, it seems like, is that something that you can do?

[45:40] I mean, it's something that happens a lot.

[45:42] That's why it was recently, did they officially ban it, or did they just make it more difficult to put a box on, or were they just trying to ban it?

[45:50] To put a box on application forms that say, have you ever been convicted of a crime?

[45:53] Because in reality, convicts are discriminated against in hiring every day.

[45:57] No, no, no, no, I know that.

[45:59] I just didn't know whether it was legal to expressly be like, oh, by the way, our company doesn't hire any convicts.

[46:05] I think it is, unless it's recently been banned.

[46:08] But I don't know.

[46:09] Everybody, convicts, if you found good jobs in Dan's Right, mail in to Elliot's Wrong, care of Dan's Right, care of the Flophouse, Neverland, Never Gonna Happen, Imaginary World, Narnia, Fakesville.

[46:22] Dan's Right is also what Dan imposes on people when you're at a restaurant and he gets the first breadstick.

[46:29] he calls it prima stick to gross uh so flashback michael's he's talking to terrell a sports agent

[46:40] which is technically against the rules because michael's um you know still a student and

[46:44] terrell's like you could make 65 million dollars but michael says he says you would be the first

[46:49] pick of the draft if you were drafted or something like that and he says no i'm gonna stay at usc

[46:55] now we see the repercussions of that decision not to chase the lucre he can't find a job he has a

[47:01] very polite interaction with a guy at a car repair place but the fact that he knows nothing about

[47:06] cars really gets in the way of him getting that job yeah and it's such a sad scene where the guy's

[47:10] like he's like yeah sure let me see if i can help you out uh can you change a tire uh no sir can

[47:15] you change oil no sir you know how to fix an engine no sir like and it's like he's it's it's

[47:21] like some kind of gift giving ceremony where you're expecting the person to not deny it three

[47:25] times and then before accepting it's all it's all etiquette yeah or it's it's i could uh how much

[47:31] does it cost no no i couldn't take your money no no no i insist oh no it would be an insult to me

[47:35] sir if you were to pay for this no no i insist how much no no no i cannot take money please sir

[47:40] okay in that case i'm always worried that i'm gonna travel to a country where the etiquette

[47:46] requires they deny you money and that i won't get it and i'll be like okay and i'll walk out and

[47:51] really offend the guy and also be a thief that is a real fear that haunts me that's that's the uh

[47:57] your your curb episode you're working on uh yeah for when larry david goes to iran i guess

[48:04] and he doesn't get all the etiquette uh there's that or he got there's the scene where he goes

[48:10] he's in china and he goes to a family's house and he doesn't leave some food over on the plate

[48:14] You're supposed to leave a little bit behind, so I've been told, to imply that they were so generous they gave you more than you could eat.

[48:20] And whoever he's with, like Ted Danson or something, is like, Larry, leave a little bit of food.

[48:24] Why should I?

[48:25] It tastes great.

[48:25] I'm going to eat it all.

[48:26] They should be more happy that I ate it all.

[48:28] It shows them that it was good.

[48:30] Come on.

[48:30] Anyway, I guess that's kind of actual real travel experiences, what I assume Larry David would be if he went overseas.

[48:39] Anyway, okay.

[48:40] So the gang leader tries to give Michael some money.

[48:44] Michael won't take it.

[48:45] And the gang leader says, God doesn't exist.

[48:46] We know God exists because in the movie God's Not Dead, he killed Kevin Sorbo.

[48:50] But this guy, I guess, hasn't seen that movie.

[48:52] Or maybe this is a prequel to that.

[48:54] Yeah.

[48:54] Michael gets a job as a bus driver.

[48:56] Hold on.

[48:56] I just want to say, when he doesn't accept the money, they just drop the money on the ground and everyone walks off.

[49:02] They don't take the money back at all.

[49:04] Like no one wants it.

[49:05] Oh, yeah, that money has been rejected.

[49:06] It stains now.

[49:07] That's true.

[49:09] I forgot about that.

[49:10] They just leave.

[49:11] And it's like $1,000 or something.

[49:13] And what I love is the idea that his gang leader is like, yeah, I just go to Staples, pick up a big box of white envelopes every day.

[49:20] That's how I give my money out to my associates.

[49:25] He's like, I could see it send one of my henchmen to pick it up, but I like to stay humble.

[49:29] And that's my one job that I do to stay humble is I pick up my own envelopes.

[49:32] He's like, I was trying a payroll company, but they were taking too – it was too expensive.

[49:38] It didn't fit my needs.

[49:40] They would take out cash.

[49:41] They would take out taxes for payroll, and this is a cash-only criminal organization.

[49:46] So we're trying to not pay those taxes.

[49:49] We don't really want to be reporting to Uncle Sam.

[49:51] So I fired them, and now I just handle it myself, which is a hassle.

[49:54] But if it's not worth it to me to do the work, maybe it's not worth it to me to be a gang leader.

[49:59] That's what I say.

[49:59] So Michael, he gets a job as a busboy at the local diner, and he's really – this is a diner that has a picture of him up on the wall.

[50:05] And he has to talk the owner into hiring him so hard.

[50:09] He's like, can I get a job?

[50:10] He's like, I don't have any jobs.

[50:11] He's like, I'll wash dishes, and he's like, okay.

[50:14] Oh, when you said jobs, I didn't mean the kind of jobs we have here at a restaurant.

[50:17] I thought you meant as a professional basketball player.

[50:20] And why would I hire you to do that?

[50:21] This is a restaurant.

[50:22] Lisa, Craig, and Terrell walk in.

[50:25] Uh-oh.

[50:26] And Craig is just ridiculing Michael, belittling him.

[50:30] Lisa offers to help him out, but he's like, no, that's cool.

[50:33] I'm fine.

[50:33] And Michael keeps his cool the whole time.

[50:35] This is when Terrell talks about how money is his god and there's no god otherwise.

[50:40] And it's – that guy, what I like about him is he is entirely first level.

[50:44] There is no subtext to anything he says.

[50:47] He is just – he is such a flat, open character that at a certain point he becomes the only honest character in the entire movie.

[50:54] And I really like that about him.

[50:55] I liked him because – I mean it makes sense.

[50:58] He was a well-rounded character is what I'm saying.

[51:00] Yeah, three dimensions.

[51:01] I liked him because – I mean it makes sense that he's hanging around Craig.

[51:05] But there are scenes where he's just like hanging around.

[51:08] There's a scene early on where he's just hanging around the basketball court

[51:11] and he's like, yeah, I'm scouting.

[51:13] You all suck.

[51:14] And then later on, he's still hanging around the same basketball court.

[51:19] And I'm like, what are you doing, man?

[51:20] Do you think there's a new crop of players that are coming through the basketball court a week later?

[51:25] Come on.

[51:25] Maybe there's just like a hot dog place down the street that he really likes.

[51:31] Yeah, that's true.

[51:32] He's using his job as a smoke screen for hot dogs?

[51:36] Yeah.

[51:38] Everyone's like, Terrell, you can just buy a hot dog.

[51:41] It's okay.

[51:42] He's like, but it's not a business expense.

[51:44] I've got to watch someone play basketball or else whatever I'm doing is not a business expense.

[51:50] Anyway, the church, it's all cleaned up, and Michael's preaching to a small group about how good always wins out.

[51:57] And hey, you know, Joseph was wrongly imprisoned too, which, fair point.

[52:01] That's true, which I guess also implies that Michael has the power of prophecy and can read dreams.

[52:07] Lisa shows up and gives him a big check, but she turns him down when he asks her out for lunch.

[52:14] Oh, sorry, Michael.

[52:15] Yeah, because she doesn't eat fucking moldy bread.

[52:17] That's gross.

[52:17] He's like, I know this great place next to a dumpster.

[52:21] Maybe we can go there sometime.

[52:23] Everything's free because it's 30 days old.

[52:26] Then we flash back to Lisa being refused to see Michael by the warden.

[52:31] The warden says he doesn't want to see you.

[52:32] And the warden goes back to Michael and literally says, she's gone.

[52:35] You can complete your journey alone now.

[52:37] like he's a fucking ronin yeah yeah he's he's gonna walk the swordsman's path and like uh

[52:46] it's it's such an amazing moment because the warden seems really disgusted at michael's choice

[52:51] like as if the warden was he's a moments away from saying like so can i ask lisa out now

[52:57] you've clearly expressed no interest in her anymore so is it cool if because look a lady

[53:02] like that she needs she needs the kind of living only a warden's salary can provide yeah she is

[53:09] she ever expressed an interest in wardens before uh michael gets convinced to enter the kenny dobbs

[53:15] dunk competition and that's when terrell insults a short player by saying he's too short to dunk

[53:20] it's impossible and then he does it and the movie acts like this is the climax of rudy the music

[53:25] swells the crowd were watching this pickup basketball game they go nuts i was like is this

[53:30] the end of the movie like you're making a lot out of a moment that happens 50 minutes before the end

[53:36] of the movie like this is crazy i will also say that like i realize that this is a movie about

[53:41] dunking i understand that dunking is at the heart where this is going well i realize that dunking is

[53:47] at the heart of this movie movie i'll give you this i know that at your core concept is that

[53:53] basketballs can be put into basketball hoops with your hands by jumping up to the hoop i'll give you

[53:59] that the mechanics way the way they work out but continue dan but well when they play basketball

[54:04] it appears that 100 of the basketball they play is about dunking like that is all they do like

[54:10] it's like an nba jam game no one is shooting three pointers at all like no one's just doing

[54:18] like regular layups elliot elliot dan is gripping the edge of the table and his knuckles are white

[54:24] now i love that dan is now coming out as a sports fan for the first time i've never really noticed

[54:28] dan has so many strong opinions about how basketball should be played like like many

[54:33] white men who don't play basketball and never have as seen later in the movie has many opinions about

[54:38] how people should play basketball i just don't want all this showboating elliot you're like i'm

[54:44] watching it for the scoring i'm not watching it to see human athleticism at its peak i this movie

[54:51] is so much about slam dunks that it is a shame that it did not open up with like text on the

[54:58] screen that is a definition of a slam dunk that would be or like it shows like uh someone playing

[55:07] basketball in the 50s and he's like ah it's just so hard to throw the ball all the way from the

[55:12] floor to the to the hoop and then an old man walks in and says there is a prophecy of a new way to

[55:19] play basketball uh so anyway he michael's mom is still sick she's coughing he offers to get her

[55:26] medicine she says no the nearest store is seven miles away and he goes i could take the bus and

[55:31] she says no don't where do they live also where in what what where is this that the nearest store

[55:38] is your store is seven miles away but also that's not that far to travel if you take a bus yeah

[55:44] that's true like it's a if it's it was just this weird moment where she's like no don't go to the

[55:50] trouble of going to the bus to get me medicine but she does make him promise if she dies he'll

[55:54] take care of tay and i wonder if it's that she knows she's dying there's nothing at the at the

[55:58] store that's going to help her so she's just like save the 375 750 for for both for a round trip

[56:05] yeah you were going to spend on getting me medicine it's a lost cause not to mention that

[56:08] the the cost of his time spent traveling when he could spend that time with her

[56:12] oh that's true and that's the most valuable resource because you'll never get more time

[56:16] you can always make more money but time it only happens okay there uh there's the now we're at

[56:22] the kenny dobbs dunk competition this guy the and the champion of the competition is taunting him

[56:27] and it has his name is the jammer and it has the best hero of the movie the hero movie jammer who

[56:34] we later learn has a master's in education also but the uh there's the dumb guy goes hey you're

[56:41] stupid and he goes i have a master's in education it's like why is this not the hero of the movie

[56:44] he's a real role model that it has the best exchange i think in the history of filmmaking

[56:49] where they go hey you'll listen jimmer and he goes i'm jammer it's just like okay sorry my apologies

[56:57] uh uh the announcers they say that there are announcers for the stunt competition three of

[57:03] they say it's being broadcast live in la on all three stations now i just want to stop for a

[57:08] moment and point out usually when all three networks stop to broadcast the same thing

[57:14] the president is speaking because we are about to bomb a country where it's the state of the

[57:19] union so what the the three networks are like you know what usually we compete we compete for

[57:25] people's viewership and that's why we show different things to give them a menu of options

[57:29] so that they will select one or the other and we'll make money off it but there are some moments

[57:34] in a nation's life where you you just have to cooperate to make sure people have the information

[57:39] they need to understand that this is a critical juncture in their lives and the lives of all

[57:45] people on the world and the kenny dobbs local dunk competition is one of those times i mean it

[57:52] it does become a critical moment in at least one person's life yeah the jammer when he wins the

[57:58] competition but we'll get that get to that uh but the event looks tiny uh and we're just watching

[58:03] dunk after dunk it's in like a high school auditor like a high school gym right it's a yeah it's at

[58:08] a high school gym uh and there's it's just like it just dunks there's no plot there's no there's

[58:13] There's no music, there is nothing artful about how the dunks are shot, there's no slow motion.

[58:19] Yeah.

[58:19] No.

[58:20] And I want to say, like, these are, I want to make it clear, these are, like, for all

[58:24] my dunk hatred before, these are feats of amazing athleticism, like, people.

[58:29] Oh, Dan's preventing trying to get in front of people sending him nasty emails about that

[58:36] dunk hatred.

[58:36] Suddenly, Dan loves dunks.

[58:37] Call him Dunk McCoy.

[58:38] No, I'm gonna.

[58:39] Dunk McCoy here, biggest fan of dunks.

[58:41] He loves them.

[58:42] Master of dunks.

[58:43] I'm going to praise them to bury them, Elliot.

[58:45] I'm going to say that these are feats of athleticism that, like, even as a much younger man, I could never have hoped to come close to be able to do.

[58:54] However, when you string a bunch of dunks back to back for 10 minutes.

[59:00] You become desensitized to the dunks.

[59:02] They become very boring.

[59:04] Well, that's why they do the tricks, because dunks are like porn, where the more you watch it, again, like Stuart says, the more desensitized you get.

[59:11] You start getting into weird dunks that you feel kind of strange about watching at first, but even that becomes normal, and you start exploring like the very bizarre corners of the dunk net.

[59:23] Let's just call it the internet dunk area, the dunk net.

[59:25] Let's call it the dunk web.

[59:27] You're just exploring like an underworld of strange, bizarre, taboo dunks that you can't really talk about with anybody, and yet they become a normal part of your life now.

[59:37] Is that what you're saying?

[59:39] Yeah, I'm saying that there should be more stepsister dunks.

[59:42] By the end of the competition, it was like, Dan was like, dunk, who cares?

[59:49] Dunk, I don't care.

[59:51] Dunkin' McCloud from Highlander, ho-hum.

[59:53] Dunkin' Donuts, yes, please.

[59:57] And when Michael is in a show of, I think, extreme lack of tact, when Michael goes up for his part, the announcer goes, Michael Diggs, just out of prison after six years.

[1:00:08] It's like, yeah, thanks, guy.

[1:00:09] Thanks for reminding everybody of that while I'm about to make a dunk.

[1:00:12] The announcer then would immediately run over and celebrate with him every time, though.

[1:00:16] I was like, is this bias?

[1:00:18] Yeah, but he does that with everybody.

[1:00:22] That announcer.

[1:00:22] I don't think so.

[1:00:24] I think he's biased to Michael.

[1:00:25] Who was that guy?

[1:00:27] Was that guy Kenny Dobbs?

[1:00:28] Who's Kenny Dobbs?

[1:00:30] Dan, who's Kenny Dobbs?

[1:00:32] I feel like Kenny Dobbs is like a local entrepreneur, like a charitable entrepreneur who sponsors these dunk competitions.

[1:00:38] How did he make his money that he then donated as charity?

[1:00:43] He was a hat magnate.

[1:00:45] Oh, okay.

[1:00:46] He owns a bunch of lids.

[1:00:49] A haberdasher?

[1:00:50] Oh, wow.

[1:00:50] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1:00:51] The finest of haberdasheries, lids.

[1:00:53] Yeah.

[1:00:54] Okay, so that guy who's announcing, I think, is Kenny Dobbs, who's a famous dunker.

[1:00:58] Okay.

[1:00:58] Yeah, yeah. After doing some minimal Googling that I could have done earlier, but I didn't.

[1:01:03] We also see a sign. I don't know if you guys noticed it.

[1:01:05] We see a sign in this scene for Hyderabad Talkies, which I believe is one of the companies that made this movie.

[1:01:11] Okay, well, I guess get in where you fit in, huh?

[1:01:15] And then later on, the head of Hyderabad Talkies is a character in the movie, as we'll see,

[1:01:20] with the implication, I guess, that maybe this is a true story that inspired them to make the movie.

[1:01:24] I don't know. Anyway, or it's like how Marvel Comics exists within the Marvel Universe and it tells fictional stories about the superheroes.

[1:01:32] Wait, is that true?

[1:01:32] Yeah. There was one week when Marvel – years ago, Marvel printed a bunch of books where they were like, these are the comics that the Marvel Universe has.

[1:01:42] And it was like Daredevil and Spider-Man, but Daredevil was a real devil and Spider-Man was an actual spider.

[1:01:47] Like people who have – these characters are so famous that people do like bootleg comics based on their idea of who they are.

[1:01:54] And these are the comics that people read within the Marvel Universe.

[1:01:57] Whereas, as we all know from Watchmen, in a universe with real superheroes, you read pirate comics.

[1:02:02] Yeah, that makes much more sense.

[1:02:04] Yeah, right, Dan?

[1:02:06] Yes.

[1:02:06] Anyway, so dunking competition.

[1:02:09] Who wins the competition?

[1:02:09] You think this is the climax of the movie.

[1:02:12] There's almost an hour left after this.

[1:02:14] But Jammer wins the competition and the $50,000 prize.

[1:02:17] Michael is talking to a reporter when his mom collapses in the stands.

[1:02:21] Oh, no.

[1:02:21] He goes to the hospital.

[1:02:23] If only he'd done it better.

[1:02:24] Yeah, if only he had won the competition, maybe she wouldn't have died.

[1:02:27] Instead of just winning $25,000.

[1:02:29] Which we find out in the next scene.

[1:02:31] So, oh, at the hospital where there is some of the best extra acting I've ever seen in a movie, I think.

[1:02:37] These extras are so lively and I was so taken.

[1:02:40] I wanted to know their stories.

[1:02:41] We learn that she had a stroke.

[1:02:43] Lisa shows up and he says, no, no, no, you go home.

[1:02:46] And then he has an argument with Tay.

[1:02:47] Wait, he didn't just have the warden do it?

[1:02:51] It would be so great if Lisa goes, Michael, what can I do for you?

[1:02:54] And Michael just shakes his head no and turns, and the warden is sitting there and goes, Lisa, he doesn't want to talk to you right now.

[1:03:00] Michael, when I heard your mom was sick, I came as soon as I could.

[1:03:05] I'm the warden.

[1:03:05] I love you.

[1:03:06] So the doctors tell Michael, your insurance can't cover a private room.

[1:03:10] It costs $26,000 a month.

[1:03:11] He hands them the $25,000 check he won at the dunk competition and says, I'll get the other $1,000.

[1:03:16] Now, before this moment, we didn't know he won any money from that competition.

[1:03:21] also his second they go on i was gonna say his second place finish which seemed like a tragedy

[1:03:27] has actually been great for him twenty five thousand dollars this guy was eating moldy

[1:03:31] bread a couple weeks it's quite a windfall yeah yeah but also like he's spending his twenty five

[1:03:36] thousand dollars just to get his mother a private room not thinking about the medical bills that

[1:03:42] are likely to follow like not not actually using it to for the healing of his mother and i like

[1:03:48] that the price tag

[1:03:49] is delivered by

[1:03:50] a man who claims

[1:03:51] to be a doctor.

[1:03:52] That usually

[1:03:54] doesn't happen, right?

[1:03:55] So you're saying

[1:03:56] that he just,

[1:03:57] that could be a con man

[1:03:58] who just walked in

[1:03:59] and expected some money.

[1:04:00] I mean, also that,

[1:04:00] yeah, usually don't pay

[1:04:01] the doctor on the spot

[1:04:03] for the room.

[1:04:04] Yeah, well,

[1:04:05] he's going to take

[1:04:06] that oversized novelty check.

[1:04:07] Michael leaves

[1:04:08] and the guy's like,

[1:04:09] I can't accept this.

[1:04:10] He's like,

[1:04:11] I guess I'll take this

[1:04:12] to the billing department.

[1:04:13] Thanks.

[1:04:13] You haven't even

[1:04:14] endorsed this check, sir.

[1:04:17] It's just got the imprint of a basketball like you've dunked onto the check.

[1:04:21] In the memo, it says, for great dunking.

[1:04:26] So Michael goes to church, and he tearfully prays to God for his mother's health in a scene that is not well acted, but I couldn't help being touched by it because this is the concept of the scene, like that this guy is at his lowest ebb.

[1:04:41] His mother is dying.

[1:04:42] The only one he can turn to is God.

[1:04:44] That's a sad moment.

[1:04:46] I don't care how poorly made it is.

[1:04:47] That's a moment that's going to make me tear up every time.

[1:04:50] Guys, tell me why I'm wrong.

[1:04:51] I don't want to.

[1:04:54] Tell me why my heart should be as cold as stone.

[1:04:57] I think, Elliot, you shouldn't care because, you know,

[1:05:06] she's just going to live on in glory in the next life,

[1:05:08] so why be sad about that after all?

[1:05:10] Very fair.

[1:05:11] Maybe she'll be reincarnated as a woman who can dunk.

[1:05:14] Maybe she could dunk.

[1:05:15] I shouldn't judge her that way.

[1:05:16] Everyone in this movie can jump.

[1:05:17] How do you think he learned?

[1:05:18] Yeah, good point.

[1:05:20] Good point.

[1:05:20] Fair point.

[1:05:21] So Craig and Lisa go to a surprisingly small nightclub.

[1:05:25] And Lisa, on the way there, is like, Michael's mom had a stroke.

[1:05:29] And Craig's like, damn, that's too bad.

[1:05:31] All right, let's get it on.

[1:05:32] Let's have some fun.

[1:05:33] And Craig is mad at Lisa for not being into the party atmosphere because she's still thinking about her ex-fiance's mom having had a stroke.

[1:05:42] And Craig delivers another great line.

[1:05:45] Why do you care about him and his mom so much?

[1:05:47] It's irritating me.

[1:05:48] Is this the club where he orders what, like?

[1:05:54] He orders another 40 from the waiter,

[1:05:59] but he's like drinking something out of a champagne flute.

[1:06:02] Well, what he was ordering was 40 bottles of Cristal.

[1:06:05] Oh.

[1:06:06] No, he had like a 40 on the table.

[1:06:08] I saw it.

[1:06:09] Okay, well, maybe he wanted another one just to look at

[1:06:13] because he could look at the 40 and be like,

[1:06:15] i've come so far now i'm drinking champagne yeah and part of me is like yeah like champagne makes

[1:06:20] sense like malt liquor that's too many calories he's a professional athlete he shouldn't be

[1:06:24] drinking that very good very good point he should know about that uh so they get into a fight she's

[1:06:30] leaving and he craig's like you're gonna leave for him he makes 10 an hour and she goes yeah but he

[1:06:34] has a million dollar heart and then leaves which i think should have been the name of the movie

[1:06:39] right million dollar we can all agree that slam a jamma was a first pass but then people might

[1:06:45] think it was a combination of million dollar baby and crazy heart which it kind of is in a way i

[1:06:51] guess yeah uh then there's another great moment where uh this woman goes hey if you're looking

[1:06:55] for a lady and he goes get out of here hoochie and she goes don't call me a hoochie and punches

[1:06:59] him in the face yeah that was pretty great yeah this movie is rich with incident yep uh even

[1:07:06] those characters are not rich with money except for craig who's a professional basketball player

[1:07:10] mom tells michael she loves him and then dies michael cries very unconvincingly he gives a

[1:07:15] eulogy at her funeral and we keep seeing the same shot of tay with one tear streak down his face

[1:07:19] yeah uh and tay won't go hang out with michael what can michael do with his grief other than

[1:07:24] practice for the next dunk the weird thing is is his one friend uh the he has the the dumb friend

[1:07:31] and then the white guy friend and the white guy friend in every scene before this is wearing a

[1:07:37] hat of some kind but at the funeral his head is uncovered what is going on elliot uh well i mean

[1:07:43] it's kind of a show of respect to not wear a hat unless it's a jewish funeral in which case you

[1:07:47] would cover your head i'm guessing that michael diggs is not jewish but who knows perhaps they're

[1:07:52] a jewish family and i just didn't realize it thank you for thank you for explaining that uh

[1:07:56] that perceived plot hole for me.

[1:07:59] I just,

[1:08:00] I,

[1:08:01] I wanted to improve your,

[1:08:02] in your knowledge of hat etiquette,

[1:08:04] or as I call it,

[1:08:04] hat etiquette.

[1:08:05] You know,

[1:08:05] guys,

[1:08:06] let's take a walk down the long and interesting road of hat etiquette,

[1:08:10] because while hats have been with us for thousands of years,

[1:08:12] so has politeness.

[1:08:13] Join me now as I'll show you the proper time to doff your chef hoe and the

[1:08:19] proper time to cover your noggin in a little show.

[1:08:22] I call Elliot Kalin hat police.

[1:08:26] Woo, woo, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, freeze, hands up, get that hat off your head, hats up.

[1:08:32] Hi, I'm Ellie Kaelin. Welcome to Ellie Kaelin, Hat Police.

[1:08:35] What's still going on?

[1:08:36] And today we're going to look at some crazy criminals of the head covering variety.

[1:08:42] Dan, take it away.

[1:08:44] And at the end, we're going to be touching base with our favorite hat-based movies,

[1:08:47] and we're going to be watching Gangster Squad.

[1:08:51] The hat-headed hand-hurters are at it again, wearing their head-hats, or hats, as we call them.

[1:08:57] You know, guys, I gave a head talk the other day, and it was all about...

[1:09:01] It was all about oral sex.

[1:09:03] There's only two things they talk about at head talks.

[1:09:07] I mean, it was Head Talk X, which is true.

[1:09:09] It's the porn version of it.

[1:09:11] Okay.

[1:09:11] And you did that from the back of a cab while David Duchovny drove you around town.

[1:09:15] Yeah, it was the head shoe diaries.

[1:09:18] Anyway, guys, Michael needs to invent a crazy new dunk for this dunk contest.

[1:09:24] But first, he's got bigger fish to fry.

[1:09:26] He goes to Gang HQ, which is just under an overpass where guys just stand around milling about holding guns.

[1:09:32] It looks like the gang members are just mingling all the time.

[1:09:35] He wants to see Tay.

[1:09:36] The gang leader tells him, you're in trouble.

[1:09:40] You hate me, right?

[1:09:41] And he goes, no, God will protect me, and I don't hate anyone.

[1:09:44] even when he has a gun in his face he refuses to say anything bad about anybody michael pleads with

[1:09:51] tay leave and respect god and ma and he starts crying i love you i love you you're a white piece

[1:09:56] of paper there's not a mark on you please don't make the same mistakes i did when the only mistake

[1:10:01] he really made was in trusting a man would pay him to go meet a friend of his he gives this

[1:10:05] heartfelt speech so heartfelt the gang leader's evil heart turns warm again much like pharaoh's

[1:10:12] heart was softened by the death of his

[1:10:14] firstborn son in the book of Exodus

[1:10:16] this this speech turns him around he

[1:10:19] says Tay go with your brother leave now

[1:10:22] and we never see that gang ever again

[1:10:24] yeah he Harry and the Hendersons him

[1:10:27] we don't even like you get going get out

[1:10:32] of here this is a scene by the way that

[1:10:34] occurs directly after the scene with Tay

[1:10:37] at the funeral so like he could have

[1:10:40] said all these things to Tay at the

[1:10:41] funeral not around gang members who are threatening him with guns i just want to point that out to

[1:10:46] walk into the lion's den and it took him time to write that speech and then memorize it okay

[1:10:50] he's not the best extemporaneous speaker uh as as like you said it with like as you saw during

[1:10:56] his eulogy for his mom eulogy more like foology oh boy oh man i didn't realize you were writing

[1:11:02] eulogy reviews for the paper yeah i'm i'm writing eulogy eulogy roasts uh so yeah arm and white over

[1:11:10] here uh michael gets back together with lisa hooray and then there's of course a training

[1:11:16] montage there's only two weeks till the national dunk championship and his training involves a lot

[1:11:21] of wearing leg weights and having guys say more more lower lower do it more and he says to win

[1:11:26] he's gonna have to do the impossible dunk of 540 that's when you spin around dunk it and then spin

[1:11:33] around again seemingly in all defiance of the law of physics it's impossible i think this is the

[1:11:37] only time where they define some element of dunking in the movie is when he's like i'm gonna

[1:11:45] have to do the impossible and he walks away and then his friend's like he's gonna try out 540

[1:11:50] blah blah blah so other than that they just name the dunks when people dunk they're like

[1:11:54] windmill up top i mean they don't even do they don't even do the basics of like

[1:12:00] have the announcers introduce the dunk competition and be like there's gonna be three rounds of

[1:12:06] dunking well yeah because they figure anyone who's watching this they know the rules of the

[1:12:11] dunk come on they know dunk law guys it's time for the main event the slamma jamma tournament

[1:12:17] the winner gets a million dollars but michael diggs first he's up against the jammer but he's

[1:12:22] also also up against german champion frank frondheim who is a blonde man who never smiles

[1:12:27] and only says one thing in the entire movie guys i hope you like watching more dunks because we're

[1:12:33] gonna see everything and even craig forces his way into the competition despite being an nba champ

[1:12:38] which is against the rules but they'll allow it uh now i think my favorite trick is when michael

[1:12:43] diggs dunks by jumping over a motorcycle uh which when we were watching dan was like but that's

[1:12:50] shorter than a person yeah throughout the and most of the dunks involve them having to jump over a

[1:12:56] tall man to jump it's not of course the tall man angus scrimm which is disappointing but if only

[1:13:02] Because then he could say, Stuart.

[1:13:04] He would say, nice dunk, boy.

[1:13:06] No!

[1:13:08] I mean, he does know his way around balls.

[1:13:12] So anyway, I mean, that sounded more like a double entendre than a joke about the spheres that kill people.

[1:13:20] But, okay.

[1:13:21] So, Craig, he almost loses out of the competition.

[1:13:26] But then his sports agent, Terrell, what does he do?

[1:13:29] He bribes one of the judges.

[1:13:30] that judge you guessed it who else to judge a dunk competition one of them just one disgraced

[1:13:36] baseball great one of the bash brothers jose jose can say oh yeah jose can you see

[1:13:44] jose can say go is judging this dunk sporting some fingers and it's one of these things where

[1:13:52] he's like uh he's like why didn't you give him a higher score it was a boring dunk i've seen

[1:13:56] that dunk before it's like what do you know about dunks dude you're a baseball player come on

[1:14:00] uh but then the gut twirl says what about two clippers tickets floor seats and he goes i'm a

[1:14:06] hall of famer i've done all these things you think i'm gonna give up this for two tickets and he goes

[1:14:10] four tickets done great and he changes the score and it's like and then a little not expect then a

[1:14:15] little kid shows up oh yeah that's right a little kid says jose can say go i looked up to you how

[1:14:20] could you do that and he goes get with the real world kid yeah it was the one time i genuinely

[1:14:24] They laughed at the movie rather than at it, which was like when when asshole Jose Canseco walks in.

[1:14:30] Exactly. Playing like he like lifts the kid up to like deliver this like the real world sucks message.

[1:14:36] He's he's playing the version of Jose Canseco that he would play on extras like that.

[1:14:41] It's it's a pretty interesting take.

[1:14:42] Michael's friend goes and embarrasses a sports critic on national TV after he criticizes Michael.

[1:14:48] It's introducing the concept of a sports critic, which is something I had never heard of before.

[1:14:53] Uh-oh. The purported champion, Jammer, he chokes. He's out. Craig, he chokes. And then Michael does the impossible, the 540 dunk. He wins the championship. Now, this dunk, it seems to involve him spinning around dunking, and then while holding onto the rim, spinning himself around again. And it's like, once the ball's in the hoop, who gives a shit what he does?

[1:15:14] Wow. Harsh critique. I guess we have a sports critic on our hands.

[1:15:19] And now look, like the sports critic in the movie, I've never played basketball, don't know anything about it, and don't want to play it.

[1:15:25] But it seems like he just added a little flourish onto a regular 360 dunk.

[1:15:29] I'm just saying, guys, it's time for dunk gate.

[1:15:32] He did a little fucking hasta la vista there, baby, at the end.

[1:15:35] And shades of Karate Kid, the German and Jammer really niced him after he wins.

[1:15:40] He wins a million dollars, which is handed to him by the president of Hyderabad Talkies, who for some reason is at this dunk competition.

[1:15:48] And then a woman runs in and says, oh, yeah, and we at Fly Less Airlines want to offer him a five-year contract.

[1:15:53] And it's like doing what?

[1:15:54] Hold on a second.

[1:15:55] The assumption, I guess, is that it's an endorsement deal.

[1:15:59] But all we know is that this airline, which is called Fly Less, which is crazy, that this airline wants to give him a five-year contract to what, be a pilot, a flight attendant?

[1:16:07] I don't understand.

[1:16:08] They're called that because they have fewer insects inside their planes.

[1:16:12] Oh, I mean that is a great bonus.

[1:16:14] That is something I would choose them for.

[1:16:18] Because the thing that bugs me worst about flying Delta, the wasps' nests everywhere.

[1:16:22] Yeah.

[1:16:23] You just keep bonking them with the broom you brought along.

[1:16:26] Yeah.

[1:16:27] Hitting them with the hose for that express purpose.

[1:16:30] Yeah.

[1:16:30] And then a sports agent runs up and says, hey, Mark Cuban just called.

[1:16:34] He wants you in the NBA.

[1:16:35] And Terrell's like, I could represent you.

[1:16:37] And Michael goes, no.

[1:16:39] And Michael just walks past and gives him the cold shoulder.

[1:16:41] And Michael and Lisa walk arm in arm onto the beach.

[1:16:45] And she tells their friends that they're going to get married.

[1:16:47] Yeah.

[1:16:48] Slamma Jamma has been slammed and jammed.

[1:16:51] What this most reminded me of is the end of Wayne's World

[1:16:55] where they're like, let's do the mega happy ending

[1:16:57] because it's just like thing after thing after thing

[1:17:01] turns out well for him all at once.

[1:17:03] Yeah, I mean, the one thing they did,

[1:17:05] I wish they'd gone all the way and had his mom show up

[1:17:07] and go, I'm better.

[1:17:08] Yeah, exactly.

[1:17:09] Or like, at the very least, have like a small child

[1:17:14] show up with a twinkle in their eye and be like,

[1:17:15] I'm your mom reincarnated.

[1:17:17] oh oh something that uh i wanted to mention that i'd forgotten when i mentioned earlier that it was

[1:17:24] the same cinematographer as uh the man who did uh jurassic park and roger aberett and the frog

[1:17:30] the fog and a couple of halloween movies and two of the back to the futures is that he has also

[1:17:36] made a flop house movie before oh what's that the same cinematographer who did a little movie called

[1:17:42] playing for keeps.

[1:17:44] A.K.A. Bad Dad Soccer Dad.

[1:17:47] So that's right.

[1:17:48] He's a Flophouse regular for sports movies.

[1:17:52] There was actually, in the second dunk competition,

[1:17:56] there was a couple of shots that were kind of cool

[1:17:58] where the camera would follow the person after the dunk

[1:18:03] as they, like, walk past the crowd.

[1:18:05] There was a moment when I, like, literally turned to Dan

[1:18:08] and was like, oh, I kind of like that shot.

[1:18:11] okay well that there you go well you can thank him for that so well i guess that raises it to an

[1:18:17] a plus plus oscar nominated cinematographer dean cundy okay thank him for that shot i i thought

[1:18:24] that when you said you had a little uh factoid about him you were gonna be like turns out he uh

[1:18:29] was involved in a botched robbery too and was sent to jail and that's why this movie was shot so

[1:18:35] poorly yep probably yeah um yeah so slam a jama we should uh give our final judgments about it

[1:18:43] cool so what do we judge it on uh uh 10 out of 10 don't slam how much it jams yeah yeah yeah how

[1:18:50] many dan what are the fundamentals how do you grade on the fundamentals on this one seeing as

[1:18:55] that's what you love most yeah the fundamentals are terrible there's almost no dribbling in this

[1:18:59] movie so i give it an f plus oh wow at least okay yeah room for improvement now our traditional

[1:19:06] categories of course are is this a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie you kind of like

[1:19:11] stewart what do you have to say this is 100 a good bad movie uh this is the sort of movie

[1:19:19] that like you want to watch with a you know you want to crack a couple of redenbachers

[1:19:23] get your friends over

[1:19:24] almost every single scene

[1:19:27] it feels like the character

[1:19:29] like all the actors are standing

[1:19:31] still and then you can see the

[1:19:33] director give them the action sign

[1:19:35] and then they just start moving

[1:19:37] and stuff it's great it's

[1:19:39] uh it's awesome what a movie

[1:19:41] watch I'm gonna agree with

[1:19:42] I'm gonna agree with Seward it is a

[1:19:44] good bad movie yeah

[1:19:46] let's make it unanimous

[1:19:48] unanimous

[1:19:50] I said that word weird yep

[1:19:53] like most of your words yeah dan that's i mean it's rare for you to misspeak so we'll just let

[1:19:59] it slide okay um so uh let's pick up this movie and let's carry it into the halls of good bad

[1:20:07] moviedom all right let's raise it to the rafters as we retire it like all good bad movies along

[1:20:14] with what like faithful findings and boogie loves or something i don't remember yeah yeah yeah the

[1:20:21] Hall of shame.

[1:20:21] Sure.

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[1:22:11] or wherever you download podcasts thanks judge john hodgman

[1:22:18] okay what do we do now dan uh we've got we can talk about slamma jamma some more okay

[1:22:26] we open on a basketball game we have a few sponsors oh cool uh first is casper

[1:22:34] the flop house is supported in part by casper a sleep brand that continues to revolutionize

[1:22:40] its line of products to create an exceptionally comfortable sleep experience one night at a time

[1:22:48] You know why they offer affordable prices, Stuart?

[1:22:50] Why is that?

[1:22:51] Because they cut out the middleman and sell directly to the consumer.

[1:22:54] Oh, that's cool.

[1:22:55] So, like, they just show up to you on the street and give you a mattress?

[1:23:00] Well, I mean, there's money exchanged, too.

[1:23:04] Yeah, in an envelope, I'm assuming.

[1:23:06] Yeah.

[1:23:06] Yeah, they say, hey, I got this really great mattress.

[1:23:09] It's only $1,000.

[1:23:10] Come with me here.

[1:23:11] And then they rob a store, right?

[1:23:13] I can only assume that's how they keep their prices so low.

[1:23:17] because it's a steal because of crime yeah now dan they are they cut out the middleman so they

[1:23:23] can sell directly to you a high quality mailable mattress and you said they're changing these

[1:23:28] things they're revolutioning it one night at a time and it reminded me that one night in

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[1:23:37] thought of that that's true uh look casper brand mattress combine multiple supportive memory foams

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[1:23:48] And what more do you want in a mattress than sink and bounce?

[1:23:52] We have written stories on the sink and bounce of Dan's Casper mattress.

[1:23:59] Okay.

[1:23:59] I don't like that.

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[1:24:20] Now, Dan, you've been very happy with your Casper mattress, right?

[1:24:23] I have.

[1:24:25] Yeah, I mean, I don't have anything else to say about it.

[1:24:27] You just moved apartments and you brought the same mattress with you.

[1:24:30] I brought the same mattress with me.

[1:24:31] I did not decide, hey, time for, you know, throw this fucker out on the corner.

[1:24:36] Put it out on that curb and have it turn into a PC.

[1:24:38] a new piece of public art.

[1:24:39] There may have been an enigma

[1:24:44] of Casper Hauser, but

[1:24:46] there's no enigma with a Casper mattress.

[1:24:48] It's just a gray mattress.

[1:24:49] That's a good point. I'm surprised they don't use that in their copy.

[1:24:52] And we are also

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[1:25:10] disagree with you about what Squarespace is?

[1:25:12] No, Dan started doing it weird and I was laughing.

[1:25:14] Yeah, I was just looking at him.

[1:25:15] Dan started doing a bit and immediately abandoned it.

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[1:25:41] Dan, that all sounds fantastic.

[1:25:42] And it's super helpful to me

[1:25:44] because I actually have a website idea

[1:25:45] that I wanted to get off the ground.

[1:25:46] Oh, that's cool.

[1:25:46] This is your first website, right?

[1:25:48] You've never made one before.

[1:25:49] I've never made one before.

[1:25:50] I've never even had an idea for one before.

[1:25:52] But now I do, inspired by the movie.

[1:25:53] And it's called jamslammer.com.

[1:25:56] Okay.

[1:25:57] And it's like, I was inspired by Slamma Jamma,

[1:26:00] all these amazing dunks.

[1:26:01] And it reminded me, people love the taste of jam.

[1:26:03] And they also love taking shots.

[1:26:06] So what if there was a kind of like Blue Apron-style thing that would send you shot glasses preloaded with jam so that you could just slam them down in delicious flavors?

[1:26:18] And we've got mulberry.

[1:26:19] We've got blackberry.

[1:26:20] We've got gooseberry.

[1:26:22] We've got a bunch of heirloom berries.

[1:26:24] Apple, pear, beef, is that a jam?

[1:26:28] It is now.

[1:26:29] And kind of marmalades too fit in there.

[1:26:31] So jam slammer dot com would be your place where you would sign up every month.

[1:26:36] You would get three different shot glasses full of jam a month and then you just slam them down and tell us how you like it.

[1:26:41] And we try to tailor it to you.

[1:26:43] Well, Elliot, I got some good news.

[1:26:45] According to a quick Google search, jam slammer dot com is available.

[1:26:49] Wonderful.

[1:26:51] And so, Dan, Squarespace can help me with that.

[1:26:54] Oh, sure they can.

[1:26:55] Now, hold on one second, though.

[1:26:56] I want to ask, now this jam slamming that you do, do you just do that, do you just have the jam alone, or do you, like, have the jam, you slam the jam, and then you have a little, you eat a little toast or biscuit right afterwards, so the flavors all sort of merge in your mouth.

[1:27:14] Or maybe a salmon, would you slam a salmon afterwards?

[1:27:16] I mean, if it's salmon jam, then you could just slam the salmon in the jam.

[1:27:21] Okay.

[1:27:21] It's just a salmon jam slam.

[1:27:23] But, yeah, Dan, you'll get little bits of bread,

[1:27:26] occasionally maybe like some pickle juice,

[1:27:28] so you can do like a pickle jam, we call it,

[1:27:30] where you do a shot of jam and then you do a shot of pickle juice.

[1:27:33] Okay.

[1:27:33] And you just want to mix those flavors and see what comes out, you know?

[1:27:37] Yeah.

[1:27:37] See what comes out.

[1:27:40] So go to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial,

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[1:27:46] use your offer code FLOP to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[1:27:53] Um, and, uh, one small note before we get into jumbotrons, I just want to do a little

[1:28:00] shout out to, uh, a listener, Mike Gallato, his brother informed me he's very ill.

[1:28:05] Our hearts are with you.

[1:28:06] Oh man, I'm sorry.

[1:28:07] Yeah.

[1:28:08] But I just want to, I just want to say, uh, thanks for listening and we hope you feel

[1:28:13] well.

[1:28:14] Yes.

[1:28:15] Uh, but Elliot, I believe you have a jumbotron to read.

[1:28:19] I do have a jumbotron.

[1:28:20] This is a jumbotron.

[1:28:22] That's a message for Nathan.

[1:28:23] And the message is from Emily.

[1:28:25] So if you're named Nathan and you know someone named Emily,

[1:28:28] this is a message for you, probably.

[1:28:30] And the message is,

[1:28:31] Happy birthday to a smart, cultural droll and debonair man

[1:28:35] who will still always be 12 days younger than me.

[1:28:38] Thanks for introducing me to the peaches.

[1:28:39] That's for Nathan from Emily.

[1:28:41] Happy birthday, Nathan.

[1:28:42] Oh, happy birthday, Nathan.

[1:28:43] Uh, yeah.

[1:28:46] So that's our sponsorship section, but there's more.

[1:28:50] What?

[1:28:51] There's so much more.

[1:28:52] They talked about Slamma Jamma for seven hours.

[1:28:56] How could there be more?

[1:28:56] But there is.

[1:28:57] Dan?

[1:28:58] Before we move on, we've got a couple of live shows that we should let the folks know about.

[1:29:03] Oh, so people can see us in person and tell us that we are totally wrong about our review of Slamma Jamma.

[1:29:09] Yeah.

[1:29:09] The first show is actually happening.

[1:29:13] Happening?

[1:29:15] It's happening.

[1:29:16] The first show is actually real happening.

[1:29:18] Oh, yeah.

[1:29:20] No, it's happening at

[1:29:22] Stuart and my alma mater,

[1:29:25] Harlem College.

[1:29:26] We get to return

[1:29:29] to the place of our

[1:29:31] meeting.

[1:29:31] We get to return to our college.

[1:29:34] Like a couple of heroes

[1:29:36] doing a victory lap where we're going to

[1:29:39] turn our fucking chairs around and rap

[1:29:41] to all the kids.

[1:29:42] I'm scared of

[1:29:44] talking to college students.

[1:29:47] It's part of the Artists in Lecture series.

[1:29:49] Dan, don't worry, your bits about political correctness gone wild and stuff

[1:29:55] will just go over super well.

[1:29:57] Yeah, yeah.

[1:29:58] Now, are we artists or are we lecturers?

[1:30:00] I think we're lecturers.

[1:30:01] I think we're lecturers, but we lecture about artists.

[1:30:04] Now, Dan, are you worried that Antifa is going to protest our appearance?

[1:30:10] Is that how you pronounce it?

[1:30:12] What is it?

[1:30:13] Well, people say Antifa, but that makes it sound like it's an ant,

[1:30:17] Like my auntie, Pha.

[1:30:18] I don't like that.

[1:30:19] Okay.

[1:30:19] Yeah.

[1:30:20] Yours makes more sense for what it's shortened up.

[1:30:23] Well, it's similar to how it should be Magneto, but everyone says Magneto.

[1:30:26] Yeah.

[1:30:27] So, Dan, when is this show at Earlham?

[1:30:29] And I genuinely cannot wait to see where you guys met and had your formative experiences where Stuart, I assume, made his first morale, where Dan first, I guess, grew a sadness beard.

[1:30:41] Stuart, what were you going to say?

[1:30:43] I was going to say, and I just want to throw this out there.

[1:30:45] Dan will be available that evening for all the cool parties.

[1:30:48] Dan's really fun, everybody.

[1:30:51] So make sure he's available.

[1:30:55] He doesn't have plans yet.

[1:30:56] I'm a crazy guy hanging out with college students.

[1:30:57] Yes, you will be.

[1:30:59] So if there's a sorority on campus, get Dan there.

[1:31:01] It seems weird now, but when you're in the moment, you're like,

[1:31:03] it's not that weird.

[1:31:04] We're all, like, cool adults.

[1:31:06] Yeah, remember how cool they were in old school?

[1:31:09] It's going to be like that.

[1:31:10] I just got an email from Earlham, and they said we can't come now.

[1:31:14] Well, until it was canceled, Dan, when is this show happening?

[1:31:18] It is happening on Saturday, November the 3rd of this year

[1:31:22] at 7.30 in the evening, and tickets are on sale now.

[1:31:29] You can get them for $10.

[1:31:30] It's open to the public.

[1:31:32] And is it in the same theater that you were the lead in Hair?

[1:31:36] I don't think so.

[1:31:39] If it is, then, Dan, please don't take your clothes off.

[1:31:42] He didn't take his clothes off in the production of Hair.

[1:31:46] Oh, that's right, because he doesn't do it.

[1:31:47] When you originated the role.

[1:31:50] But Dan, then you probably should take your clothes off

[1:31:53] if you didn't get to during that production.

[1:31:55] Yeah.

[1:31:55] So if you want to see us perform live at Earlham College

[1:31:58] in Richmond, Indiana, and see Dan with no clothes on,

[1:32:00] that's The Flophouse, November 3rd.

[1:32:03] Yeah, and if you, you know, just,

[1:32:05] we'll have it up on the website,

[1:32:06] but also if you Google Earlham,

[1:32:08] which is pronounced, it's pronounced,

[1:32:11] which is spelled Earl Ham and Flophouse.

[1:32:15] You'll find it.

[1:32:16] In Richmond, Indiana.

[1:32:17] Yeah.

[1:32:18] So I would like to say we have another live show

[1:32:22] just a couple months after that one.

[1:32:24] In the beginning of the new year,

[1:32:26] we're going to be appearing at the University of Wisconsin-Madison

[1:32:29] on Saturday, January 26th, 2019

[1:32:32] at 8 p.m. in the Wisconsin Union Theater, I believe it is.

[1:32:36] And it's another college show.

[1:32:38] Should be pretty fun.

[1:32:39] That's my sister's alma mater.

[1:32:41] So I have kind of a connection with it, I guess.

[1:32:44] And, Dan, just get your state capital dome jokes ready because you know what it means.

[1:32:48] Madison has the largest state capital dome in the whole country.

[1:32:52] And I think we're going to probably make some hay out of that.

[1:32:55] Oh, man.

[1:32:57] Watch out.

[1:32:58] In your face, Madison.

[1:32:59] What are you trying to compensate for with that giant dome?

[1:33:04] Oh, man.

[1:33:05] Wait, I'm holding Dan back.

[1:33:09] No, Dan, Dan, don't let them have it.

[1:33:11] Save it.

[1:33:12] So that'll be fun, and come out to see us in January

[1:33:15] if you're in the Wisconsin-Madison area.

[1:33:17] That's crazy.

[1:33:18] Two Midwest-y shows, huh?

[1:33:20] That's nuts.

[1:33:20] Mm-hmm.

[1:33:21] We're going to be, it's called our flyover tour.

[1:33:25] Yeah.

[1:33:26] Actually, it's not called that.

[1:33:27] Two dates.

[1:33:28] And I think, assuming that we can-

[1:33:31] Two months apart.

[1:33:31] I hate to make this promise now,

[1:33:34] but assuming that we can sell merch,

[1:33:35] we'll have the last bit of our 2018 tour merch

[1:33:38] available at those two shows.

[1:33:40] Great. That sounds great to me.

[1:33:42] Guys, those are our live shows.

[1:33:44] But I have something else

[1:33:46] that's coming up even right before

[1:33:48] those live shows that I want to tell the people about.

[1:33:51] Look, I have a book

[1:33:54] coming out. That's true.

[1:33:56] And I'll tell you what it's all about.

[1:33:58] Horses.

[1:34:00] They pull our wagons,

[1:34:02] carry our cowboys, and eat our hay.

[1:34:04] But are they really just very big

[1:34:06] dogs? Dogs.

[1:34:08] They protect our homes, chase our cats, and keep our faces moist.

[1:34:12] But is it possible they're just tiny baby horses?

[1:34:15] Find out in Horse Meets Dog, the new book by writer Elliot Kalin and illustrator Tim Miller.

[1:34:20] Horse Meets Dog, which side will you be on?

[1:34:22] Available October 30th wherever you buy your books.

[1:34:25] So that's a picture book that I wrote, and it was illustrated by the great Tim Miller,

[1:34:28] who's best known, I think, for the Snapseed, the alligator books.

[1:34:30] And it's available October 30th this year.

[1:34:34] So go wherever you want to buy books, at your local independent bookstore or whatever.

[1:34:38] Where would it, what section of the

[1:34:40] Barnes & Noble booksellers would I find it?

[1:34:42] In the children's book section.

[1:34:44] Okay. It is a children's picture book.

[1:34:46] Okay.

[1:34:47] Not the other picture book sections.

[1:34:50] Not in the adult picture book

[1:34:52] section, which I guess is just that go-the-fuck-to-sleep

[1:34:55] book, and

[1:34:56] dirty parodies of children's books.

[1:34:58] Like Where the Wild Things

[1:35:00] Fart, and stuff like that.

[1:35:02] And the Very Horny Caterpillar.

[1:35:04] Yeah, it's not in self-help

[1:35:06] slash sexuality

[1:35:07] nope

[1:35:09] or in religious studies

[1:35:10] it's not in that either

[1:35:11] neither is it in

[1:35:13] Home Improvement

[1:35:13] okay

[1:35:14] or the show

[1:35:16] or the show

[1:35:17] neither is it in

[1:35:19] fiction and literature

[1:35:20] and you're like

[1:35:20] which is which

[1:35:21] Barnes & Noble

[1:35:22] just call them all

[1:35:22] one or the other

[1:35:23] but yeah

[1:35:24] Horse Meets Dog

[1:35:24] October 30th

[1:35:25] my first picture book

[1:35:26] very excited about it

[1:35:27] alright

[1:35:28] oh man

[1:35:30] there's so many plugs

[1:35:31] mhm

[1:35:32] mhm

[1:35:32] what are we

[1:35:33] the top of an aging

[1:35:34] man's head

[1:35:35] Dan we went to the same place but in different ways

[1:35:38] Yep

[1:35:38] You took the high road I took the low road

[1:35:42] And I got to Scotland before ye

[1:35:44] This first letter

[1:35:46] That we're going to

[1:35:48] Respond to is from

[1:35:50] Brian last name withheld

[1:35:51] Brian Cox

[1:35:53] Who writes

[1:35:54] Dear Purvisoid number one

[1:35:57] Purvisoid West and Stu

[1:35:59] Long time listener big fan

[1:36:01] Thanks for helping me get through brush patches

[1:36:03] i picked up three packs for listening you're uh i wasn't thanking you dan why not i'm a listener

[1:36:12] i was thanking brian cox all right i picked up three packs striker from x2 i picked up three

[1:36:20] packs of gremlins 2 trading cards to send you all for the holidays but my young nephew was

[1:36:25] so fascinated by them that i gave him them to him instead that's better i'm sorry gospel but

[1:36:31] it's adorable and i'm planning on sending you something else soon to make up for it now for

[1:36:34] my question i recently had to watch jaws for an assignment in my screenwriting class oh rough

[1:36:40] yeah what a piece of garbage i i'd forgotten how much i loved the uss indianapolis monologue in

[1:36:51] the movie but also how little it does to actually advance the main plot it's a nice long character

[1:36:56] moment three-fourths of the way through a movie about blowing up a shark what are some of your

[1:37:01] favorite moments i like that description of jaws a movie about blowing up a shark i mean is it it's

[1:37:06] it is right yeah what are some of your favorite moments from movies that aren't there to advance

[1:37:11] the main plot line of that movie that's from brian last name with help now i would say that

[1:37:17] his uh that that true that that scene doesn't advance the plot but it does build tension and

[1:37:22] advance the theme of the movie which is sharks are bad so brian cox you may be a famous actor but

[1:37:30] i take a little bit of issue with it i mean he says doesn't advance the plot though that doesn't

[1:37:34] it doesn't say that the the scene doesn't belong in the movie that's a fair point uh do you guys

[1:37:41] want to answer first or should i answer first uh the one that sprung to my mind i mean there's like

[1:37:46] okay don't answer my question just just keep to start okay there's obvious ones like i don't know

[1:37:51] like the dibbick story and a serious man or something like that the one that sprung to my

[1:37:55] mind was uh it advances the plot but in a in an unnecessary way and that's the long fight scene

[1:38:03] and they live like it is key that he gets those sunglasses on to keith david so uh you know we

[1:38:11] know like the heroes come together in knowing the bad the that the villains exist but it doesn't

[1:38:17] have to happen in the format of

[1:38:19] a 8 to 11 minute

[1:38:21] knock down drag out fight

[1:38:23] in the back of an alleyway

[1:38:26] but the movie

[1:38:28] would be all the less rich for it if

[1:38:29] they cut that out

[1:38:30] yeah I mean I think

[1:38:33] I don't want

[1:38:36] to anticipate what Elliot's going to say but

[1:38:37] I'm pretty sure the correct

[1:38:39] answer to this is the

[1:38:41] claymation hamburger scene from

[1:38:43] Better Off Dead

[1:38:44] i have a similar answer but that is a great that's a great scene it is a scene that has

[1:38:50] absolutely nothing to do with the movie doesn't advance the themes and simply just gives us uh

[1:38:55] some van halen uh so monty python and the holy grail and monty python in the life of brian i'm

[1:39:01] sorry my father the holy grail every scene is about not advancing the plot which i like but

[1:39:06] in life of brian which is the most plot centric of the my python movies uh i i love the moment when

[1:39:12] he falls into an alien spaceship and it just flies around space for a little bit and then

[1:39:17] crashes and he gets out and it starts with him being chased he falls into a spaceship which is

[1:39:21] itself chased it crashes he gets out and the chase continues and so it has not helped him or hurt him

[1:39:27] at all that this happened it's just this brief moment of like we need something for terry gilliam

[1:39:31] to do in this movie so we'll have an alien come along and i just love how gratuitous and arbitrary

[1:39:37] it is. Now, I also wanted to mention

[1:39:39] my least favorite movie scene

[1:39:41] that doesn't advance the plot. For a movie I

[1:39:43] love, I got two words for you. Ghost

[1:39:45] Blowjob. Not a fan of that scene.

[1:39:47] Not necessary. You don't think it

[1:39:49] advances the plot? What

[1:39:51] part of the plot does it advance? It shows that ghosts are

[1:39:53] horny.

[1:39:54] Which does not pay off in any... I guess it pays...

[1:39:57] Actually, you know what? It pays off later when Dana

[1:39:59] is trying to have sex with Bill Murray

[1:40:01] and then does with

[1:40:02] Robert Maness. So you're right.

[1:40:05] It sets that it's it plants that seed of horny ghosts.

[1:40:08] I mean, this is and this is not I'm a big fan.

[1:40:12] Anytime movies incorporate scenes where characters are eating or like doing little life touches.

[1:40:19] I don't know.

[1:40:20] It's not specific, but like I just like it when characters prove that they're human.

[1:40:24] Those long pooping scenes.

[1:40:29] That's what Stuart loves.

[1:40:29] Yep.

[1:40:30] Or normal length pooping scenes.

[1:40:35] what is normal length for a pooping scene like jeff daniels and dumb and dumber like

[1:40:40] is that long or is that normal length that's a good question tan um moving on

[1:40:47] uh this next letter is titled i was six years old when your podcast started

[1:40:52] oh chilling wow feel old yet want to feel old it was from hannah last name withheld and it goes

[1:41:01] oh montana yeah yeah what up nectarines i started listening a few months ago and i wanted to let you

[1:41:07] know that your podcast is hip with the kids i rated five and a half dinosaur shaped chicken

[1:41:12] nuggets okay finally after story checks out that's yeah that's what a kid would say finally after

[1:41:18] years of parental control hi mom i've been allowed to partake in the forbidden fruit peaches if you

[1:41:24] will that is the flop house i guess 17 is the appropriate age for lengthy conversations about

[1:41:29] wormy boners i just realized are we like are we like listening to a fucking like a dirty comedy

[1:41:36] album when your parents aren't around and giggling yeah i think so gross

[1:41:42] um she continues it's so it's kind of surreal listening to the recommendations from some of

[1:41:49] the earlier episodes one of my earliest movie memories was seeing wally in theaters and

[1:41:54] elliot's recommendation of coralline reminded me of how much that film traumatized me and my

[1:41:58] sisters when we were younger. So thanks

[1:42:00] for creating a hilarious time

[1:42:02] capsule. Unrelated question.

[1:42:04] What are some of your favorite SNL

[1:42:06] skits? Sincerely, Hannah, last name

[1:42:08] with help. I mainly picked that letter

[1:42:10] to make us all feel really old.

[1:42:12] Yeah, thank you. Appreciate it.

[1:42:13] But, I mean, we can answer the question while

[1:42:16] we're at it.

[1:42:17] Any favorite SNL skits that you remember?

[1:42:20] Did you just call them skits?

[1:42:23] Yeah.

[1:42:24] I think she did.

[1:42:27] Because he's trying to make fun of them.

[1:42:28] No, I know.

[1:42:29] She used the word skits, so I was just...

[1:42:32] She used skits, but she's a teenager.

[1:42:33] You're a comedy professional.

[1:42:35] I write sketches, for God's sakes.

[1:42:36] Thank you.

[1:42:37] I would say, I've always been...

[1:42:40] I mean, I grew up when I was...

[1:42:42] So, Hannah, I'll have you know that when I was a kid,

[1:42:44] it was during the heyday of the Dana Carvey, Phil Hartman, Mike Myers era,

[1:42:49] or as I would know, the best era of Saturday Night Live,

[1:42:51] because it's when I was a kid.

[1:42:52] And so, something that's always meant a lot to me

[1:42:55] was the unfrozen caveman lawyer sketch,

[1:42:57] because it's such a ridiculously convoluted premise,

[1:43:00] but they pull it off in such a straightforward way,

[1:43:02] and it's really funny,

[1:43:02] that he is a caveman who is actually very clever

[1:43:06] and has become a lawyer

[1:43:07] and uses the fact that he's a caveman

[1:43:09] and people will assume that he is dumb

[1:43:11] to get what he wants.

[1:43:12] Yeah.

[1:43:13] I had a hard time with this.

[1:43:17] I like weird Jack Handy sketches.

[1:43:20] There's one that I looked up earlier today

[1:43:25] that's funny but it's not as good as i remembered it's called tales of fraud and malfeasance and

[1:43:31] railway hiring practices which is such a jack handy name for a sketch and it's one of those

[1:43:36] sketches that's just like a list of things basically like this guy asking the the person

[1:43:42] he's hiring whether he'd be willing to do various things to get a job and they just it's just a list

[1:43:48] of absurd things in the way that jack handy is very good at doing uh it's the type of sketch i

[1:43:54] love it's not quite the right one uh so i'm not sure i know the best answer for this i i do

[1:43:59] remember i really enjoy uh uh oh fuck what's his name i don't know if you really enjoy it

[1:44:07] the celebrity hot tub sketch the oh with eddie murphy yeah the james brown celebrity hot tub

[1:44:14] yeah that's fun he's just going hot tub yeah that's hot uh can i list uh commercial parodies

[1:44:24] in here sure uh well clucking chicken is great yeah oh yeah that's the other one i was thinking

[1:44:30] about i don't think anything has made me laugh harder as a child than the stupid clucking chicken

[1:44:35] uh uh that skit i don't remember that one what's that cooking at the clucking chicken

[1:44:42] that's me that's me first they cut off my head okay yeah yeah then you know try then they pull

[1:44:50] out my entrails feathers entrails trust me you don't want to eat those and then ouch he he takes

[1:44:55] you through through you're eating it and then pooping it out and then he looks into the toilet

[1:45:00] and goes gaga going if you want great chicken just follow my head because his his bleeding

[1:45:08] disembodied decapitated head is bouncing around and there was uh there's a there's a sketch uh

[1:45:13] commercial parody that i reference a lot with my wife is the one the uh the car the chameleon

[1:45:20] that is it's a parody of that commercial where they like have a marble roll around the outside

[1:45:25] all the line like contour lines of a car uh and the idea is this car looks like a shitty beat up

[1:45:34] old junker but on the inside it's a super fancy car and uh yeah so they like put the marble on

[1:45:41] rolls down into a rust hole and the like the locking mechanism makes the like suspension

[1:45:48] collapse the uh that's similar i like they had great car ads and one of the ones i always liked

[1:45:56] was the adobe the car that's made out of clay oh yeah yeah well this has been our reminiscence

[1:46:01] corner member member this the podcast yeah i mean you must remember this yeah colon snl

[1:46:09] uh this is from michael last name withheld myers who wow weird that he's writing he's usually

[1:46:19] wait michael myers the killer from halloween or michael myers that

[1:46:22] mike myers the saturday night live it's the same guy

[1:46:25] uh he he writes what's up peaches this mail is entirely for stewart

[1:46:34] Ben and Elliot can go suck an egg

[1:46:36] Wow

[1:46:37] Just one egg though

[1:46:38] Already up to it

[1:46:39] For the two of them

[1:46:39] Mmm

[1:46:40] Good eggs

[1:46:41] Uh

[1:46:43] Stuart

[1:46:43] Okay

[1:46:44] Did you know that there's a place in Cork

[1:46:46] In Ireland where I live

[1:46:48] Called Castle Freak

[1:46:49] No joke

[1:46:50] It's a woodland surrounding the original Castle Freak

[1:46:53] A castle owned by the Freak family

[1:46:55] So I'm assuming this is some kind of like weird invitation

[1:47:01] Should I

[1:47:02] Should I

[1:47:03] Should I do it

[1:47:04] If you go there and you sleep in that castle, it's yours.

[1:47:06] Oh, if I can stay in the castle for one night

[1:47:10] and don't rip off your own ding-dong,

[1:47:12] then yeah, you get the castle.

[1:47:13] Oh, okay.

[1:47:13] I mean, the stakes are high, but I think I'm up for it,

[1:47:17] so I'll see you there.

[1:47:18] Who was that, Michael Myers?

[1:47:20] I'll see you there, Michael Myers.

[1:47:21] Okay.

[1:47:23] I guess we should do a live show there, huh?

[1:47:28] At Castle Freak?

[1:47:29] Yeah.

[1:47:30] Yeah.

[1:47:31] LA, get on that.

[1:47:32] Okay.

[1:47:33] I'll work on that because I have contacts there, I guess.

[1:47:37] Dan, what's the name of the guy who sent the letter?

[1:47:38] Make it so.

[1:47:39] Michael Myers?

[1:47:40] Okay.

[1:47:40] Make it so.

[1:47:41] Last letter is from Sam, last name withheld, who just writes,

[1:47:47] which Muppet are each of you?

[1:47:48] Sorry if this has been asked before.

[1:47:50] I feel like this has been discussed somewhere before,

[1:47:53] but I don't think it's been asked on the show.

[1:47:54] I'm probably animal.

[1:47:56] Yeah.

[1:47:57] At least that's what my hair looks like now.

[1:47:59] And I'm kind of a gonzo type, but also a Fozzie.

[1:48:03] And I'm about as easy to understand as Animal.

[1:48:08] And, Dan, I always assumed you were one of those singing cows

[1:48:12] that's with the Menomina guy.

[1:48:13] That's right.

[1:48:16] Now, Dan, you're clearly the Kermit.

[1:48:19] Yeah.

[1:48:19] I was going to say that, but it's boring.

[1:48:21] You're Kermit, and Hodgman is Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.

[1:48:25] Yep.

[1:48:26] And Hallie would be...

[1:48:30] Yeah, I was trying to think of that, but it's hard.

[1:48:33] She's kind of Miss Piggy, but she's also kind of Janice.

[1:48:35] Yeah.

[1:48:35] You can think of the equal point in between those two points.

[1:48:40] Yeah.

[1:48:41] When I was a kid, I did not care for Miss Piggy.

[1:48:45] And now as a grown-up, I'm like, she's the best character.

[1:48:49] I mean, you're just so turned on by her.

[1:48:51] She's the hero of this story.

[1:48:52] No, I agree.

[1:48:54] Yeah, I found her very irritating as a child.

[1:48:57] And now as an adult, I find her hilarious.

[1:48:59] Yeah.

[1:49:00] Elliot Shaker.

[1:49:02] That's how I feel about a lot of Doonesbury.

[1:49:08] You find...

[1:49:10] You find it hilarious now, but as a kid I was like,

[1:49:12] what is this garbage? Get it out of here.

[1:49:14] Like, where's Opus?

[1:49:16] Why are there no talking animals?

[1:49:18] Why is this guy ripping off Bloom County?

[1:49:20] So that's letters, guys.

[1:49:24] And that means that we're to our last segment,

[1:49:26] which is where we recommend movies that we saw and enjoyed.

[1:49:31] it's been a fucking while since we did one of these shit a long time we may be a little off

[1:49:35] in this episode because we haven't recorded for over a month i think we're i thought we were hot

[1:49:40] okay i'm covering a long pause i'm covering all of our baby rusty but i think that's because i

[1:49:48] didn't get a lot of sleep because of the baby oh because ellie was doing it no if i doing it you

[1:49:56] mean soothing a baby then yes that's not that hard though right you just pop in some fucking

[1:50:01] movies and chill out like put on cars or something i mean if you mean my other son then yes that is

[1:50:06] exactly what you do we're always like we're like sammy uh let's have a movie night like okay yeah

[1:50:13] what movie you watch cars three sammy we're not watching cars three again we watched it

[1:50:17] so many times now okay so what movie you watch cars like sammy i don't think you understood

[1:50:24] we don't want to watch cars okay then how about cars three sammy so loves those cars movies so uh

[1:50:31] what are you guys going to recommend huh yeah dan uh i'll recommend a movie that i saw a ways back

[1:50:37] that is called body bags or otherwise known as john carpenter's body bags which was in theaters now

[1:50:45] No, it was a it was meant as a pilot for a Showtime anthology series to take on something like Tales from the Crypt on HBO.

[1:50:58] And it has John Carpenter himself as a sort of Crypt Keeper character doing wraparound segments where he's a mortician and he's, you know, overacting like hell, acting silly.

[1:51:15] there's three segments to it.

[1:51:18] There is the,

[1:51:21] I forget the names of them.

[1:51:23] There's one called,

[1:51:25] there's one set at a gas station.

[1:51:26] I think it's called gas

[1:51:28] or something like the gas station.

[1:51:29] According to Wikipedia,

[1:51:30] that one is called the gas station.

[1:51:32] Okay, so it's very simple.

[1:51:33] The second one is called hair, I think.

[1:51:35] And the third one is called the eye.

[1:51:36] Is that correct?

[1:51:37] It just says eye here.

[1:51:38] But yeah, I'll give it to you.

[1:51:39] And I would recommend watching the two ones

[1:51:43] directed by John Carpenter,

[1:51:45] which are the first two,

[1:51:45] and ignoring the one directed by Toby Hooper at the end,

[1:51:48] even though it has a very committed performance

[1:51:51] by Mark Hamill.

[1:51:52] The second one is very goofy.

[1:51:56] It's about Stacey Keech wanting hair,

[1:52:01] thinking that he's not virile without having hair,

[1:52:04] and the lengths to which he goes to get hair.

[1:52:06] Honestly, if I was sequencing this like a record,

[1:52:13] I would put that before the gas station because the gas station is the one that's the one that I really enjoyed.

[1:52:19] That's actually, that's the worst is when the best part of an anthology is the first one.

[1:52:26] Is the first one, yeah.

[1:52:27] Yeah.

[1:52:27] I was like, when I was watching it, I'm like, this is going to be great.

[1:52:30] This is going to be fantastic.

[1:52:31] And then it was just a slow dive for the rest of the movie.

[1:52:35] But the gas station is a traditional slasher set around a gas station.

[1:52:42] but it's done with like it but it's john carpenter and he's experimenting with the way he uses space

[1:52:49] and he sets up space or spatial relationships and like you know the geography of the gas station and

[1:52:54] he uses the first half of the segment to like set up you know like things that are going to pay off

[1:53:01] you know in the second half and it's just a fun exercise in style and if you like john carpenter

[1:53:07] a lot you're going to enjoy

[1:53:08] seeing him doing that

[1:53:10] not like an amazing movie

[1:53:12] by News Strike but especially if you're

[1:53:15] a John Carpenter fan it's worth checking out

[1:53:16] yeah Elliot what do you got

[1:53:19] I am going to

[1:53:21] recommend a movie that

[1:53:22] is an HBO movie

[1:53:24] so it's only available on HBO

[1:53:26] but maybe it'll be I don't know

[1:53:28] if it got a theatrical release but

[1:53:30] if it did maybe you'll see it

[1:53:33] somewhere else but it's an HBO movie and it's called The Tale

[1:53:35] and it stars Laura Dern

[1:53:37] and Ellen Burstyn

[1:53:38] and a bunch of other people

[1:53:39] and it's written and directed

[1:53:40] by Jennifer Fox

[1:53:41] and it's based on

[1:53:43] the true story of

[1:53:44] her mother finding a story

[1:53:47] that she had written

[1:53:48] as a teenager

[1:53:48] that detailed her relationship

[1:53:50] with a grown man

[1:53:51] when she was 13

[1:53:52] and kind of how

[1:53:55] realizing as an adult

[1:53:57] what an abusive relationship

[1:54:01] it was and how wrong it was

[1:54:02] kind of starts to affect her

[1:54:03] and i thought it was really good and really powerful laura dern is fantastic in it and the

[1:54:09] movie is what she's only fantastic in everything amazing amazingly laura dern one of the greatest

[1:54:15] actresses is fantastic in it but uh there's some neat things that they do with uh playing around

[1:54:21] with kind of film elements that reminded me slightly of the movie the stories we tell but

[1:54:26] in a much more harrowing way uh though and the movie like the dialogue in it is very on the nose

[1:54:32] But that's something that started out bothering me, but then it kind of became very – I don't know. It started really working for me because it felt like this story is not being sensationalized at all.

[1:54:44] It's being presented very straightforwardly, and it's up to you to kind of like be there with Laura Dern's character as she kind of tries to treat it as if it was just this thing that happened and realizes more and more like, no, this is a wrong thing and something terrible was done to her when she was young.

[1:55:01] So it's not a fun watch, but I thought the tale was really good on HBO Homebox Office.

[1:55:08] It's not TV.

[1:55:09] It's HBO.

[1:55:11] I'm going to recommend a movie with a slight caveat because it was directed by friend of the podcast, Chris Weitz.

[1:55:21] And that's his new movie, which I think is still playing in theaters now.

[1:55:26] It's still out here.

[1:55:28] called operation finale, which is a historical, almost like historical heist movie about Mossad

[1:55:36] agents sneaking into Argentina to, uh, to capture Adolf Eichmann and take him back to Israel for

[1:55:43] trial. Uh, and it is, uh, uh, like a more fun movie than I thought it was going to be going

[1:55:51] into it. Um, and not all the thriller parts work, especially in the, like the last third of the

[1:55:57] movie but the uh i think the early stuff really shines and the scenes with uh the scenes with

[1:56:05] oscar isaac and uh ben kingsley are just great like i'm a big fan of those um big surprise those

[1:56:12] two guys can act well and have a lot of charisma um and it and it has a uh surprisingly good

[1:56:19] performance from nick kroll not like knocking him but like he's not what a slap in the face

[1:56:26] to nick kroll i mean i guess you know we we briefly met him and he seemed perfect like a

[1:56:31] perfectly nice guy no but like i wouldn't you wouldn't if you were to say like oh yeah there's

[1:56:36] this uh historical thriller uh nick kroll's in it you wouldn't i don't know like he's he's a guy

[1:56:42] mainly known for comedy and this is not a comedy that's what i meant it's a dramatic turn from

[1:56:47] from nick kroll that works thanks for saving me guys oh no i mean i didn't i threw you under the

[1:56:54] bus i apologize it's fine uh i'm under the bus is kind of where i live um the uh but no so operation

[1:57:01] finale chris whites uh yeah it was i think in his words uh us going to see that or uh he had a we

[1:57:10] we got to uh you know all the full disclosure all my cards on the table we went to an early

[1:57:16] screening which i think in his words was uh his way of preventing us from doing an episode on it

[1:57:22] but we would not

[1:57:24] because we liked it

[1:57:24] have you guys

[1:57:26] become Moriarty

[1:57:27] from Ain't It Cool News

[1:57:27] now basically

[1:57:28] where you like

[1:57:29] being invited to see movies

[1:57:30] in order to curry favor

[1:57:32] oh yeah

[1:57:34] oh yeah

[1:57:35] we can be bought

[1:57:35] we can totally be bought

[1:57:36] and Dan's

[1:57:37] and Dan's using

[1:57:38] his new position

[1:57:39] to pull

[1:57:39] Harry Knowles-ian

[1:57:40] bullshit on people

[1:57:41] oh no

[1:57:43] don't do that

[1:57:43] come on

[1:57:44] come on Stuart

[1:57:45] I'm just joking

[1:57:45] he's gross

[1:57:47] he's so gross

[1:57:47] something I want to

[1:57:48] make clear

[1:57:49] I should say

[1:57:50] the movie I recommended

[1:57:50] The Tale

[1:57:51] I would say

[1:57:51] i'm not if ever there was something that might need like a trigger warning on it uh i would i

[1:57:58] would warn people it is not an it doesn't pull any punches so just be ready for it to not be

[1:58:04] a super easy experience to watch i don't want anyone being like oh i heard this is a really

[1:58:10] good movie about this woman realizing she was abused it should probably be pretty fun and

[1:58:14] not having fun during it so don't have fun during it it's a rough watch that's really good

[1:58:19] all right now what do we do dan well usually we sign off we get to watch slamma jamma again

[1:58:26] uh yeah we can i mean you'll be free to go you can do whatever you want in this life it's still

[1:58:31] it's on it's available on amazon prime so i guess we can check that out uh sure but elliot wanted to

[1:58:37] say a few things before we go um hey guys yeah should i just take it away dan yeah take it away

[1:58:43] listeners after over 10 years of doing this podcast we've decided it's time to start getting

[1:58:49] the word out about this podcast so i want to introduce a new kind of flop house contest

[1:58:54] a not vaguely defined contest but in fact a very clearly defined contest so stealing a page from

[1:59:00] probably something some other podcast does i want to say that uh the weekend this episode comes out

[1:59:06] slamma jamma i am going to ask you to tweet about it or tweet about the flop house using the hashtag

[1:59:11] flop house and if you do within that two-day period of saturday and sunday the weekend this

[1:59:17] episodes released if you tweet about it with a hashtag flop house i'm going to enter you into

[1:59:21] a drawing to win the chance to pick uh a movie that we see coming up uh now dan something i

[1:59:27] meant to talk to you about is after smallvember comes shocktober is it okay if someone picks

[1:59:31] a horror movie for us for shocktober or do you want to keep that pure as the driven snow let's

[1:59:35] keep that pure and like do november because we have nothing scheduled for november i thought

[1:59:41] that was i thought that was sandalvember where we only watch adam sandler movies you've been

[1:59:44] trying to get started for three years now four years i don't know not not gonna happen okay so

[1:59:52] this is your chance everybody to save us from san november the month where we have to watch adam

[1:59:56] sandler movies unless you are so cruel that that's what you're gonna pick but tweet about us this

[2:00:02] weekend that this episode comes out the hashtag flop house and you'll get a chance to pick the

[2:00:07] movie that we watch first in november and please the only thing i ask to you is uh let's make it

[2:00:13] a pretty recent movie that we can

[2:00:15] have pretty easy access to. My worry is that

[2:00:16] someone will be like, I won. Okay.

[2:00:18] There's this movie that I saw on a shelf

[2:00:20] at my local video store once in 1986.

[2:00:22] I want you to find it and tell me what happened.

[2:00:24] We can't do that.

[2:00:26] I would say

[2:00:28] it doesn't have to be recent

[2:00:30] as long as it's available for us.

[2:00:32] As long as it's readily available.

[2:00:34] If it's available and you check on streaming,

[2:00:36] if it's available on iTunes

[2:00:37] or Amazon Prime or

[2:00:40] whatever, we should be able to do it.

[2:00:43] Okay. So with that in mind, just tweet about the show this weekend, this episode comes out, with the hashtag Flophouse, and you'll get to choose what we watch when Smallvember and Shocktober are but memories.

[2:00:54] And if things go well, then maybe we'll do this again, right, Dan? I had a great time. Maybe we can do this again sometime.

[2:01:00] Yeah. And I would say, in addition to that, tweet about us when it's not for a contest.

[2:01:05] i mean why not go over to itunes and leave us a good review please don't leave us a bad review

[2:01:10] why would you spend your waste your few hours on this earth uh putting someone else down just uh

[2:01:17] and dan just say dan no i had nothing else i just just just give us a good review if you feel so

[2:01:24] inclined and where can they follow us on twitter dan uh it is i believe it is the flop house pod

[2:01:31] on Twitter? Yes, it's at the Flophouse

[2:01:33] Pod. So, yeah, tweet

[2:01:35] about us whenever you want. Follow us on Twitter

[2:01:37] at Flophouse, at the Flophouse Pod.

[2:01:39] Leave us a review on iTunes or wherever you

[2:01:41] get podcasts. And you know what? I would

[2:01:43] say, when you're done with this episode, why not check out

[2:01:45] some other great show on Maximum Fun? There's a lot of great

[2:01:47] Maximum Fun shows.

[2:01:48] That sounds great.

[2:01:50] Alright, so

[2:01:52] thanks for doing the show with me, guys.

[2:01:54] We're still doing the show. Cool.

[2:01:56] Stuart's been checking his emails.

[2:01:58] I got a lot of emails.

[2:02:01] um so it's been great guys it's been so long since i've seen my man elliot dan i see you a lot but

[2:02:07] you're great uh so yep for the flop house i've been stewart wellington okay we're doing it this

[2:02:14] way i guess i've been dan mccoy and i'm elliot kalin loving every minute i get to spend with

[2:02:18] my guys when they're crammed into a tiny corner of dan's new apartment because he's trying to

[2:02:23] keep his second bedroom pristine for some unknown purpose good night everyone bye

[2:02:31] yeah i'm sorry i can't be there i'm looking i want to see it someday

[2:02:43] well you're kind of seeing it i mean i'm seeing one tiny corner in a sad lamp but other than that

[2:02:48] not really that's not a sad lamp that's dan

[2:02:51] story you're so much louder than me i'm trying to uh i mean i think that's just my fang

[2:03:00] yeah dan i think you're just is it measuring charisma whoa um ouch

[2:03:05] maximumfun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported

Ep. #266 - Slamma Jamma

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