Ep #268 - Truth or Dare

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss truth or dare.

[0:04] Okay, I choose dare.

[0:06] Okay, watch this movie.

[0:08] No!

[0:30] Hey, everyone, welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:37] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:38] Hey, I'm Stuart Wellingtown.

[0:40] I'm Elliot Kalin, pronouncing my name the way I usually do.

[0:44] Elliot was so taken aback by that, he had to take a breath.

[0:48] So welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:50] If you're just joining us, if this is your first time listening, kind of like a little

[0:57] If we, each of us were lettuces, okay, hear me out, hear me out, guys.

[1:03] I think we have no other choice but to hear you out, yeah.

[1:06] Elliot would be arugula, right, because he's spicy and a little intelligent.

[1:11] A little intelligent.

[1:14] Yeah, I mean, I guess I was more qualifying arugula as being slightly more intelligent

[1:19] than all the other lettuces.

[1:20] Yeah, I appreciate that.

[1:22] Dan, you would be iceberg.

[1:25] Oh, yeah, standard.

[1:27] Because deep down, I think everybody just wants an iceberg wedge, you know.

[1:32] Okay.

[1:33] And me, I don't know, I'd be like a crumbled up bag of Doritos that you put on a salad.

[1:38] Stuart, you know what kind of lettuce you would be.

[1:41] Foxy brand lettuce, because oh, boy, have you got it going on.

[1:45] Hey, you been working out?

[1:46] What's going on, babe?

[1:47] You doing anything after the show?

[1:50] We all complimented each other.

[1:54] Kind of.

[1:57] So that's been the Flophouse, the podcast where we rate each other on a scale of lettuce.

[2:02] Tune in next week, I guess.

[2:05] What are we going to rate ourselves on next time?

[2:08] Types of radishes.

[2:11] Oh, boy, I got to do some research.

[2:14] You got to look it up.

[2:16] Known vegetable fan, Elliot.

[2:19] I like plenty of vegetables, thank you.

[2:23] You like mozzarella sticks?

[2:26] You mentioned Doritos, that's another favorite of mine.

[2:29] Hot dogs, let's not forget those.

[2:32] Guys, can we just call this podcast The Sleep House and take a little nap?

[2:36] Nope, we cannot do that.

[2:39] Think how peaceful it would be for the listeners.

[2:41] Audience, I'm going to pull back the curtain, and by which I mean pull back the curtain over the window

[2:44] so the light comes in and wakes Dan out of his stupor.

[2:47] Dan is very tired.

[2:49] I'm also a little tired.

[2:50] I was up very early this morning with a baby that would not sleep,

[2:53] and Dan is tired because he was at a horror movie marathon,

[2:57] and so it's a real goofus and gallant type scenario

[3:00] where we both knew that we were recording earlier than usual the next day.

[3:04] Oh, Elliot, you're too hard on yourself. You're not a goofus.

[3:07] Yeah, I made the mistake.

[3:10] Goofus makes the mistake of having a child.

[3:13] Gallant does not have a child and can do whatever he wants with his schedule.

[3:17] Wow, that sounds great.

[3:20] Yeah, that's highlights for adults, fun without a purpose.

[3:23] Uh-huh.

[3:25] You find it in the, I guess, the geriatric part of the hospital waiting room?

[3:30] You mean the hospital?

[3:31] Highlights for adults? Hospital, yeah.

[3:34] No, by geriatric part of the hospital, you just mean hospital.

[3:38] Oh, I get it.

[3:39] Unless this is one of those future worlds where they sequester old people away

[3:44] so that nobody has to see them and be reminded of their own mortality.

[3:47] I mean, what about that part of the hospital where you get to go up and look through the window

[3:50] and you see all the little babies in the bins?

[3:54] It's sometimes full of babies,

[3:56] but sometimes it's just full of old people lying in those little bins.

[3:59] Oh, that's my old person. See, that's my grandpa in there.

[4:03] How does that work? Is that a take a baby, leave a baby situation?

[4:07] Exactly, yes.

[4:08] If you need a baby, you can just take one.

[4:11] And if you happen to have an extra baby, just be nice.

[4:13] Baby it forward. Leave a baby for somebody else to use.

[4:17] And Elliot, I believe the scenario you described of babies or old persons

[4:20] was a cut sequence from the Metallica Enter Sandman video.

[4:27] I think so.

[4:28] So what do we do on this podcast for real, Stan?

[4:30] So what do we do here, dude?

[4:32] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[4:35] And, oh boy, is it the most wonderful time of the year?

[4:39] Oh, yeah.

[4:40] Shocktober.

[4:41] Whoa.

[4:42] Because we want to be totally spookified for the season.

[4:46] Oh, no.

[4:47] Well, as...

[4:48] Oh, sorry, what did you say, Stuart?

[4:50] I was just saying the evil grin that Dan was giving me

[4:53] was giving me flashbacks of the movie we watched.

[4:56] Yep, oh, because there's a lot of evil grinning in it.

[4:59] Hey, do you guys like the Black Hole Sun video?

[5:01] Because then you might like the special effects in Truth or Dare.

[5:04] But let's explain Shocktober for a moment.

[5:06] I mean, that was a super popular video.

[5:08] It was huge. Yeah, people loved it.

[5:10] It was everywhere.

[5:11] So, October, as we know, ends in Halloween or All Hallows' Eve,

[5:15] the period when the veil between our world and the world of the spirits

[5:20] is the thinnest, much as a woman's cervix

[5:24] thins to the point of imperceptibility as a baby is arriving

[5:28] so that the child may pass through.

[5:30] Throughout October, the veil between our world and that of the dead

[5:34] gets thinner and thinner, or as a mystic from an ethnic tribe

[5:41] in a Richard Bachman-based movie might say,

[5:43] thinner, thinner.

[5:46] You can't see the hand motion I'm doing, but I'm making it thinner.

[5:49] Anyway, so we like to get people ready for that time at the end of October

[5:53] by talking about scary movies.

[5:55] Because you know who likes scary movies?

[5:58] Who?

[5:59] Everybody.

[6:00] Oh, okay.

[6:02] I don't know if that's actually correct.

[6:04] So, uh, what were you saying about cervixes?

[6:07] Look, Stuart, it may surprise you to know

[6:10] that a woman's body is not just always ready for a baby to just drop right out of that thing.

[6:15] It's got to be prepared over the course of a process called labor.

[6:19] Now, if you look at this chart, you'll see that this part of the body

[6:23] is where the baby is, and this part of the body...

[6:25] Did you draw that whole chart just now?

[6:28] Yeah, I did. I did it very quickly from memory

[6:30] because the experience of watching this happen scars you greatly.

[6:35] I see it even when I close my eyes,

[6:37] much like the scary movies we watch in Shocktober.

[6:40] Now, Dan, if I like to ask you a question.

[6:42] We all know Stuart loves scary movies

[6:44] because they remind him that the only truly scary thing in life

[6:47] is not having lived fully.

[6:49] But, Dan, why do you like scary movies?

[6:52] Uh, well, I probably actually like them because of my fear of death

[6:59] and by, you know, going through sort of a kabuki

[7:03] of experiencing that fear of death through watching films,

[7:08] I can overcome it in my real life.

[7:11] Sort of a catharsis that becomes therapeutic, yeah.

[7:14] So, if that was your joke answer, what was your real answer?

[7:17] No, that was my real answer.

[7:19] And then Dan's like, my real answer is I love blood and boobs. Whoa!

[7:22] No, that's my...

[7:24] Well, that would be my joke answer, actually, but it's also real

[7:27] Every joke has a little truth in it, you know?

[7:29] Yeah, so that chicken really did cross the road, is what you're saying?

[7:32] Yeah, at one point.

[7:35] What is going on upstairs?

[7:37] There's a lot of banging going on in my apartment.

[7:39] I apologize if it's coming over on the...

[7:41] Yeah, it's like somebody is just playing the chainsaw part from that jackal song.

[7:45] I think maybe they have, like, a rowing machine or something.

[7:49] I don't know what it is.

[7:51] Well, guys, that's been The Flophouse, the show where we talk about

[7:55] what's going on above Dan's apartment and try to guess what it is.

[7:58] Join us next week when Dan's neighbors are clearly having sex,

[8:02] but Dan is so disgusted by it, he doesn't want to say that's what's happening,

[8:07] and he comes up with a lot of other explanations.

[8:09] A handball court in their apartment?

[8:11] Sure, why not?

[8:13] I mean, I feel like Dan investigating the dangerous liaisons

[8:21] going up in the apartment above him.

[8:23] That sounds like a pretty good idea for a podcast.

[8:25] Yeah, yeah, you might even call it dangerous liaisons.

[8:28] Oh, I mean, I kind of already said that, but okay.

[8:32] Okay, so, Dan, what movie did we watch?

[8:34] As if the audience didn't know because we announced it at the very beginning of the show.

[8:38] We watched Truth or Dare, aka Blumhouse's Truth or Dare.

[8:42] Is that how you pronounce it? Not Blumhouse?

[8:44] Blumhouse? I don't know.

[8:46] Somebody call up Judy Blum and find out.

[8:48] Judy, what do you call your house?

[8:51] Now, they called it that, I assume, because there's like three or four other movies

[8:56] called Truth or Dare, a couple of which just came out in the last few years.

[9:00] And when we all collectively watched this movie on our own,

[9:06] we had to do a lot of double-checking that we were watching the right one.

[9:10] Yeah, we wanted to let the right ones into our eyeballs.

[9:13] Yeah, I was like halfway through the Madonna's Truth or Dare before you guys stopped me.

[9:18] Oh boy, what a mistake.

[9:20] This is great.

[9:24] So, did we all watch the right one?

[9:26] We all watched the one with the weird smiles on their faces, right?

[9:29] Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

[9:31] Okay, should we talk about what happens in this movie?

[9:33] It's good that we're figuring this out now.

[9:35] And we watched the theatrical cut, right?

[9:37] You guys didn't watch the special edition?

[9:39] I actually watched the special edition because that was what was available on iTunes,

[9:43] which is what I was in.

[9:45] So, if there's something that I saw that you guys didn't see,

[9:48] it's not because I was on Ayahuasca or something and hallucinated it.

[9:53] That was the first guess I was going to have, yeah.

[9:55] Director's vision.

[9:57] We'll see if it affects our rating.

[10:00] So, Dan, if there's anything that you saw in the director's cut, which includes deleted

[10:05] scenes that were too hot for TV, you tell us, okay?

[10:10] All right.

[10:11] So we begin the story of Truth or Dare, a terrifying tale of truth, dares, and truth

[10:19] or dares.

[10:20] I was really hoping the title had three things in it, but it only had two things.

[10:24] Yeah, it took you a little while to figure that one out.

[10:27] Our story begins...

[10:28] Cool.

[10:29] Our story begins near the Mexican border, where a young woman stops into a gas station

[10:34] to buy cigarillos, until a sinister voice, seemingly out of nowhere, although it appears

[10:39] to be coming off the phone, says, truth or dare, and she's like, no, I don't want to

[10:43] play anymore, says truth or dare, and she says dare, and then she lights a woman on

[10:48] fire.

[10:49] Cut to, we're at college, hey, everybody.

[10:52] I mean, at this point, we know this isn't your daddy's game of truth or dare, right?

[10:57] No, because my daddy's game of truth or dare, it would be like, dare, I dare you to enlist

[11:01] in the army and go fight in Vietnam, and then he would have to do that.

[11:05] Yeah, that's true.

[11:06] But that was when my dad was, you know, a young buck who would play truth or dare, although

[11:10] to be honest, not to say too much about my dad now, I could totally see him playing a

[11:14] game of truth or dare now with his grown-up older friends in his 60s, and getting into

[11:20] trouble for it, me having to get him out of that trouble, but hopefully that won't happen.

[11:25] It's a real shameless situation.

[11:27] Cut to, we're at college, and there's six friends who are going to go on spring break

[11:32] to Mexico.

[11:33] It's their last spring break before they graduate.

[11:35] You want me to run down these friends, because at first, I had a lot of trouble telling them

[11:39] apart, and I had to work very hard to get them down, so I'd lay out our cast of characters.

[11:44] What are you talking about?

[11:45] They each have like one individual characteristic.

[11:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[11:47] Except for the one girl, Penelope, who has no individual characteristics.

[11:50] Oh, that's true.

[11:51] I guess he drinks.

[11:52] Her boyfriend's a jerk.

[11:53] Yeah, her boyfriend's a jerk.

[11:55] That's true.

[11:56] You have three male main characters in this movie who all look kind of the same, and they

[12:00] don't even have different color hair, but anyway, the women thankfully have mostly different

[12:04] color hair, so we can tell them apart, and they're strong, of course, very detailed and

[12:08] nuanced personalities.

[12:09] You've got Markie, the blonde party girl, who's always cheating on her boyfriend.

[12:13] Yeah, she's named after the television song, right?

[12:16] Yeah, she's named after Markie Moon.

[12:20] You have her best friend, Olivia, who's a brunette, and you know Olivia's like the good

[12:25] girl to Markie's bad girl because Olivia doesn't want to go to Mexico.

[12:27] She wants to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity, but they won't let her.

[12:31] It's time for them to spend their last spring break together, and there's their other friend,

[12:35] Penelope, who is also there.

[12:37] Like I don't know.

[12:38] She doesn't really have a personality.

[12:39] Then you got the three dudes.

[12:42] There's Lucas, who I think is Markie's boyfriend, but he has feelings for Olivia.

[12:48] You've got Tyson, who is Penelope's boyfriend, and he's a bad boy.

[12:52] He's real sarcastic.

[12:53] Yeah, he's a real jerk.

[12:55] And he writes fraudulent prescriptions that he sells to freshmen for pills, and then you've

[12:59] got third guy, who is gay and Asian, but I didn't catch his name.

[13:05] So he has the most going on of all the characters, and I don't know what his name is.

[13:09] Like George or Oscar or something like that?

[13:12] Yeah, yeah.

[13:13] Donald.

[13:14] Let's find out.

[13:15] I'm checking it right now.

[13:16] All right.

[13:17] Stewart's on the case.

[13:18] Look up his name.

[13:19] Detective Google is...

[13:20] Who is Young Sheldon on Young Sheldon?

[13:24] This is Detective Google in every case.

[13:27] They go, Detective Google, my father was murdered.

[13:30] Can you help me?

[13:32] What did your father's feet look like?

[13:35] I don't see how that's relevant to this, Detective Google.

[13:37] Trust me.

[13:38] First thing I need to know about anybody.

[13:40] What was their feet?

[13:44] So guys, his name is Brad.

[13:46] Brad.

[13:47] Okay.

[13:48] Yeah.

[13:49] Very memorable.

[13:50] Okay.

[13:51] So they go down to Mexico.

[13:52] This is an opening credits montage entirely made up of like Snapchat videos and pictures

[13:56] that just shows us, I guess, why we want them to die, because they're irritating Americans

[14:00] just getting drunk and making out in Mexico.

[14:03] Now guys, I never went on like a spring break trip.

[14:06] Did you guys?

[14:07] Is this what it's really like?

[14:08] Or is this just what the movies make it look like?

[14:10] The only quote unquote spring break trip I went on was not a spring break trip.

[14:14] It was a trip that was on spring break, which was I was in London.

[14:18] All right, Mr. Semantics.

[14:20] Let's split some more hairs, why don't we?

[14:23] I was in London for the first semester and everyone traveled over spring break.

[14:27] And so I went up to the party town of Edinburgh and Aberdeen.

[14:31] Oh, those are great towns.

[14:34] Dan's dragging some towns.

[14:35] No, they're fantastic towns.

[14:36] Well, I mean, Aberdeen is not so great.

[14:38] It's kind of like just a bunch of cement buildings.

[14:41] Fun fact about Aberdeen.

[14:42] Edinburgh is beautiful though.

[14:43] Aberdeen was the name of one of my first cats.

[14:47] That is a fun fact about Aberdeen.

[14:50] I mean, it's more a fun fact about your cat than the city, but no, no, I don't know.

[14:55] It's on the website for the city.

[14:57] It's pretty big there.

[14:58] The Aberdeen Chamber of Commerce put that up there.

[15:01] Yeah.

[15:02] Yeah.

[15:03] Aberdeen Chamber of Catmers.

[15:04] OK.

[15:05] So, Stuart, what about you?

[15:08] Now in high school, I went on a spring break road trip where we piled into a big old Oldsmobile

[15:15] and drove down to St. Petersburg, Florida, a place that had more old people than I expected.

[15:23] There was a Salvador Dali Museum.

[15:27] Oh, I've been to that museum.

[15:31] And when we would hang out on the beach at night, there would be like clusters of angry

[15:35] drunk guys looking at any other guys who would walk by as if they were potential threats

[15:42] to their precious supply of ladies.

[15:46] It was kind of a weird experience.

[15:49] So you're saying you guys are saying I didn't miss out on much by spending most of my spring

[15:52] breaks, I think just going to the movies a lot.

[15:55] Mm hmm.

[15:56] I mean, I think that probably prepared you better for a life of bad movie podcasting

[16:00] and that's true for Mystery Science Theater 3000.

[16:03] Yeah, I mean, there was that one spring break where me and my bikini clad friends got into

[16:08] trouble with a drug dealer played by James Franco.

[16:10] Mm hmm.

[16:11] And I think we had to break or something.

[16:14] I don't remember it that well because I've never seen it.

[16:17] OK.

[16:18] I was waiting.

[16:19] I was like, this joke based entirely on parts of the trailer.

[16:25] It's almost it's even more than that.

[16:27] It's like joke based on the poster.

[16:29] But OK, so they're long story short, they go to a big dance party.

[16:36] Olivia stops Marky from just cheating on her boyfriend right there in front of everybody.

[16:39] And Olivia at that point, I'm concerned that Marky has the marquee has a serious problem

[16:47] like because her boyfriend is sitting five feet away.

[16:51] Yeah.

[16:52] Like at that point, I feel like she it's more than just like she's drunk, like she has some

[16:57] kind of deep psychological issue that needs to be dealt with.

[17:00] I think the only way you can deal with that is by playing a supernatural game of truth

[17:05] or dare.

[17:06] But we'll see.

[17:07] We'll see.

[17:08] I mean, she does have that deep issue.

[17:09] So your armchair psychologizing, your armchair psychologizing is dead on because when a kind

[17:13] of weirdo guy who Olivia for some reason does not see a mile away is a creep, even though

[17:18] he has stubble, the movie signed for creepy guy.

[17:22] He says he does.

[17:23] He does protect her from my favorite character of the movie, Ron Ron.

[17:28] Tell us about Ron Ron.

[17:29] Ron Ron, I believe, is a guy who goes to the same college.

[17:32] Yeah, they're in college.

[17:34] They go to College State University.

[17:37] So Ron Ron is this like the most broadly drawn horndog character who just the mere concept

[17:45] of two girls sharing a chaste kiss drives him into paroxysms of ecstasy.

[17:51] He's playing there.

[17:52] Everyone else is playing their characters like they're in a horror movie, and he's playing

[17:55] his character like he's in a snobs versus slobs like frat movie.

[17:59] And I really admire that.

[18:00] Yeah, like a direct to video American Pie sequel.

[18:02] He's like, from now on, Ron Ron will be the new McLovin.

[18:10] So this guy says, hey, the party's down here.

[18:13] You want to have some more fun?

[18:14] He takes them to an abandoned church where Olivia finds Olivia's one of these millennials.

[18:18] She takes pictures of everything.

[18:20] So of course, she's digging through the crap on the floor of this abandoned church and

[18:23] there's burned photos and there's a jar of something that smells bad, which is our first

[18:28] clue other than the fact that a creepy guy took them to an abandoned church that maybe

[18:32] this wasn't a great place to be.

[18:33] And the Carter says, hey, let's play truth or dare.

[18:36] They do.

[18:37] They do all your classic truth or dare stuff.

[18:39] Someone has to streak.

[18:40] Someone reveals a secret.

[18:42] Tyson is like, hey, Marky, do you know Olivia loves your boyfriend?

[18:45] And it's like, oh, oh, yeah, that dude, that dude like goes from zero to 60 super, super

[18:52] quickly.

[18:53] He's mad that they're in this church and that that is where that is to my point, which is

[18:59] that this is where I texted you guys watching the movie and was like, no teens have ever

[19:04] acted this way because they're already like they're already partied out and they're at

[19:09] the end of the night at a bar.

[19:11] And then the guy's like, let's take a big hike to an abandoned thing like way out on

[19:15] the coast.

[19:16] Well, also, every character at that point, except for Ron Ron, sadly, he's he's wandered

[19:21] away after Carter made him feel bad.

[19:24] Carter is the creepy guy.

[19:26] Every character has someone they can pair up with and go off and have sex with.

[19:30] Yeah.

[19:31] It makes no sense that, yeah, at that time of night, they wouldn't be like, all right,

[19:35] so I guess we're all just going to like go back to our rooms and do it because that's

[19:38] what we really are here for.

[19:39] Yeah.

[19:40] Instead.

[19:41] Yeah.

[19:42] They go, let's take a hike and sneak under some fencing so we can go to an abandoned

[19:44] church.

[19:45] Wonderful.

[19:46] And let's play truth or dare.

[19:48] Like the fact that they I mean, they're the fact that they're so easily convinced to play

[19:52] truth or dare as like a bunch of like, I don't know, horny college kid.

[19:56] I mean, is that a thing that people still do?

[19:58] I don't know.

[19:59] Even in the movie, they're like.

[20:00] They're like, come on, what is this, a slumber party?

[20:03] Okay, sure, great.

[20:05] We'll have to, we're doing a show at a college pretty soon,

[20:07] so we'll just pull the audience on this one.

[20:09] Yeah, let's say, who will listen to our Truth or Dare show?

[20:11] Do you guys do that?

[20:12] Can we go?

[20:14] Whoa, whoa, whoa, not so fast.

[20:17] Why are you trying to get us invited

[20:18] to a Truth or Dare game?

[20:20] Because I want to get Dan to do a bunch of crazy dares.

[20:24] Okay.

[20:26] And maybe the legendary double dare.

[20:30] Oh, man.

[20:30] Yeah, that's when-

[20:31] So we're going to have to climb through a giant thing

[20:34] of pudding?

[20:34] I'm going to have to find a flag and a big nose.

[20:36] That's exactly what I want you to do, Dan.

[20:37] Reach inside a big nose full of Gak

[20:39] and just pull that flag out.

[20:41] I feel like that giant nose has led me

[20:43] to some interesting fetishes.

[20:45] There must be some kid that double dare

[20:50] just imprinted on them in just the right moment

[20:52] and they have like a green slime

[20:54] and reach and trying to find a flag fetish.

[20:57] Yeah, yeah, so this is a guy who like

[21:00] after school, he opened up his own startup.

[21:03] He's a tech mogul and he brings a girl home.

[21:07] He opens up-

[21:08] Oh, he's a millionaire.

[21:09] His red room.

[21:09] Yeah, he opens up his red room,

[21:10] red because that's the official color of double dare.

[21:13] And she, and he's like, my interests are different.

[21:19] And he turns on the light

[21:20] and it's just a giant nose filled with big boogers.

[21:23] I happen to be involved in some unorthodox erotic play

[21:29] and she's like, oh really?

[21:31] And he's like, you got 60 seconds

[21:32] to find that flag inside that nose.

[21:35] And in a corner tied to a chair is Mark Summers

[21:37] who hates me, who hates messes.

[21:40] So he's like, ah, I don't like this at all.

[21:41] You stay there, Mark Summers, I'll unwrap you later

[21:46] because you also hosted the show Unwrapped

[21:48] on the Food Network.

[21:49] And Mark Summers is like,

[21:50] stop telling me things that I did.

[21:54] Yeah, yeah, that's his torture for the rest of his life

[21:57] is being told things he did.

[22:01] So guys, just a little bit of feedback.

[22:02] I will say in my experience as a bar owner,

[22:06] I find it not uncommon for couples

[22:09] who long should have gone to someplace private

[22:12] will still remain in a public setting

[22:16] and hang out and make out.

[22:19] And you're like, why are you still here?

[22:20] Get out of my bar, get out of the back room of my bar.

[22:24] Get out of here, you crazy kids.

[22:25] That's what you say.

[22:28] They're rarely kids, they're usually older people.

[22:29] And you have a broom, but you're just poking them with it.

[22:31] Maybe part of it is, maybe for our Double Dare,

[22:35] our Truth or Dare playing college kids,

[22:38] maybe part of it is the excitement of being in public

[22:43] and playing this game.

[22:44] Dan, what do you think?

[22:44] Oh, maybe, yeah.

[22:46] Okay, so it's a voyeurism, exhibitionism thing.

[22:50] That's what I'm trying to say.

[22:51] So that's what Double Truth or Dare is all about.

[22:55] Stuart, your multiple slips of the tongue

[22:57] have led me to the idea,

[22:58] why hasn't someone done a horror movie version

[23:00] of Double Dare?

[23:03] I mean, the sequel to Blue Mouse's Truth or Dare

[23:05] is Truth or Double Dare, right?

[23:07] And then, of course, the third one,

[23:08] Truth or Double Dog Dare.

[23:10] That's when it's actually dogs that talk.

[23:13] Uh-huh, and it features three dog night.

[23:16] Okay, guys, let's keep moving forward with this movie.

[23:18] So they ask Truth or Dare to Carter, the creepy guy,

[23:21] and he says, oh, I lured you here to save myself

[23:23] because once you're in this game,

[23:25] you've gotta play or you die, and then he leaves.

[23:28] And they go to college.

[23:29] They go back home.

[23:30] And they're like, what a weirdo.

[23:33] They're like, this is crazy.

[23:35] And Olivia finds that the words Truth or Dare

[23:38] have been written all over the place,

[23:39] on her desk, on a flyer that a creepy homeless man gives her,

[23:42] and on her car.

[23:44] They've been keyed into a car.

[23:45] She thinks Ron Ron did it, but he didn't.

[23:47] We also find out that Martin-

[23:48] That's not Ron Ron's style.

[23:50] Yeah, Ron Ron is, if he's gonna do that,

[23:51] he's not gonna do it secretly.

[23:53] He's gonna do it right in front of you,

[23:54] going like, does this turn you on?

[23:55] You wanna make out with me now?

[23:57] What about another woman?

[23:58] Because that's Ron Ron, man.

[23:59] He knows what he wants.

[24:00] Look, Ron Ron is so purely Ron Ron

[24:02] that even though he's a creep,

[24:03] you gotta admire just how true to himself he is.

[24:07] There's a simplicity to Ron Ron

[24:08] that is at least somewhat charming.

[24:11] I guess so.

[24:12] Yeah, he's the uncarved block in Taoism.

[24:15] Yeah.

[24:18] Guy reads the Tao of Poo once,

[24:20] and he thinks that's a good one to have, so.

[24:24] Never even got through the chia piglet.

[24:26] Didn't even wanna finish it.

[24:28] Now, we'll also learn that Marky's dad

[24:30] committed suicide a while back,

[24:32] and she watches the final video of him

[24:33] cooking her a salmon steak over and over again.

[24:36] Okay, Ron-

[24:37] His name was Mark, right?

[24:43] So, random people just start giving Olivia,

[24:47] Black Hole Sun, CGI smiles,

[24:48] these big old grins that look ridiculous.

[24:50] Yeah, basically everyone turns into Apex twins, right?

[24:53] Yeah.

[24:54] I like that cover, that Apex twins.

[24:55] I mean, they've got like real droopy, like, faces.

[24:57] Yeah, they all turn into jokers.

[25:00] They're like, their smile is all droopy.

[25:01] They all got a blast of smiley-x to the face?

[25:03] Yeah.

[25:05] And they all start saying truth or dare, truth or dare.

[25:08] Droopy doesn't smile, he's sad.

[25:09] No, I'm not saying droopy dog.

[25:11] I'm saying, like, the bottom of their, like, lips

[25:13] are, like, drooped down.

[25:14] Oh, okay.

[25:15] So, it's kind of like-

[25:16] Their eyes flash red, right?

[25:17] Yeah.

[25:18] It's kind of like Roger Ebert's smile

[25:19] near the end of his life after his jaw had been removed.

[25:22] No, dude.

[25:23] Oh, man.

[25:24] Come on.

[25:25] I'm sorry.

[25:26] I mean, I don't want to say it, but-

[25:26] I'm just trying to find an authentic parallel,

[25:29] and I also watched Life Itself recently, very touching.

[25:32] It's a great movie.

[25:34] The thing is, though, like, there's the CGI-

[25:37] Wait, we're talking about Life Itself,

[25:38] the Roger Ebert documentary, by the way.

[25:39] We're not talking about Life Itself, the recent release,

[25:41] which I really want to do in the Flophouse.

[25:43] But, Dan, you're saying-

[25:44] Yeah, we'll probably do, yeah.

[25:45] The smiles that are enhanced by CGI,

[25:48] but sometimes the main characters

[25:51] are possessed by a demon or whatever,

[25:54] and they just, like-

[25:56] It's a demon, Dan.

[25:56] It's not whatever.

[25:58] As we'll find out, it's a demon.

[26:00] They just do their own version of a creepy smile,

[26:03] like it's not a CGI smile,

[26:04] and it's the dumbest looking face, I feel like.

[26:07] Every time they do it, it's just like,

[26:09] what is wrong with you?

[26:12] Why are you giving me that goof face?

[26:13] Yeah, they're doing a creepy smile,

[26:15] and they're like, oh, that looks terrible.

[26:17] We'll fix it in post, yeah.

[26:19] There's a thin line between creepy smile in this movie

[26:22] and the smile of the dancing old man

[26:23] from the Six Flags commercials.

[26:25] Yeah.

[26:26] Like, they're basically the same smile.

[26:28] Okay, guys, Olivia overcomes.

[26:29] She picks truth and yells out,

[26:31] "'Markie is always cheating on her boyfriend,'

[26:34] right in front of the crowded library,

[26:36] and Markie, and her boyfriend, Lucas.

[26:38] Uh-oh, who's gonna believe her

[26:40] that it was some kind of supernatural thing

[26:41] that made her do it?

[26:42] Meanwhile, Ron Ron.

[26:44] And at that point, Lucas immediately believes her,

[26:46] which means, I think deep down, he suspected all along.

[26:50] Oh, yeah, you have to know.

[26:51] I mean, he literally saw her dancing

[26:53] with another guy in Mexico, like.

[26:56] Uh-huh, yeah.

[26:58] And this wasn't a the kids are all right type scenario

[27:01] where he doesn't mind that she's dancing with another guy

[27:03] because he knows them pretty well.

[27:06] Oh, okay.

[27:07] So, Stuart, coming up next is Ron Ron's

[27:11] farewell to the film.

[27:12] Would you like to describe it, or shall I?

[27:15] Yeah, so Ron Ron is in a local bar,

[27:19] and a lady, what, bumps into him or passes him,

[27:22] and truth or dares him.

[27:23] No, no, he hits on the lady,

[27:24] and she says no, and then she truth or dares.

[27:27] Okay, I mean, I think memory's a weird thing, Elliot.

[27:30] Yeah.

[27:33] So, she does a creepy face and does truth or dare.

[27:37] And while a normal person would see that creepy smile

[27:39] and would be like, uh, I'm getting out of here,

[27:42] instead, like, it, like, oh, wow, it's like,

[27:45] did he just, did he just unlock

[27:47] the Lammershain configuration?

[27:48] Is this a new form of pleasure he's never experienced?

[27:51] So, he, she dares him to show everybody his wiener,

[27:55] and he's like, fuck yeah, I don't care, I'm Ron Ron.

[27:57] And he climbs on top of the pool table.

[28:00] He literally is like, everybody, everybody look at me.

[28:02] Like, he starts orating to all of them.

[28:04] He is holding forth like Tom Cruise

[28:06] in any bar scene in Cocktail.

[28:09] And, unfortunately, his ego is punctured

[28:13] when multiple women reveal that they have seen

[28:16] his penis before already and that it is unimpressive,

[28:19] which seems ridiculous.

[28:21] And so, Ron Ron decides that he will not do the dare,

[28:25] and that's when the trouble starts, guys.

[28:27] Oh, because he's-

[28:27] Because his face turns into a demon face,

[28:32] and his eyes flash red, and you realize

[28:33] he's no longer in control of his bodily functions,

[28:36] in which point you're wondering,

[28:37] is Ron Ron already dead, you know?

[28:41] So, then he almost falls on a pool cue,

[28:44] and you're like, oh, they're gonna try

[28:46] and Final Destination me and give me a couple fake outs,

[28:48] and then he slips on a pool ball

[28:50] and immediately breaks his neck and dies.

[28:52] Yeah, he falls and snaps his neck on another billiard table.

[28:54] Luckily, everyone's recording it on their phones

[28:56] because they really wanted to see Ron Ron's penis

[28:58] and have it recorded for posterity.

[29:00] I assume to watch again later

[29:02] in the comfort of their own homes,

[29:03] they could really examine it.

[29:05] You know, computer, enhance.

[29:07] Let's take a look.

[29:08] Computer, use my app that measures penises

[29:11] from photos and video.

[29:12] Okay, great.

[29:13] They're gonna upload it to the Ron Ron section of ViewPorn.

[29:16] It's a surprisingly well-attended section.

[29:20] So, this cell phone video gets texted

[29:22] to all of the other players of the game,

[29:26] and Olivia's friends don't believe that they're cursed now,

[29:29] but Olivia's like-

[29:29] And they watch the video at the exact same time.

[29:33] You're watching them watch it,

[29:35] and it's synced up perfectly.

[29:37] They all react to the death at the same point.

[29:41] Even though they all started the video at different points.

[29:43] My favorite part is they all watch it at different points,

[29:45] but it syncs up.

[29:47] But then when Olivia leaves,

[29:48] the scene ends with Tyson then replaying the video,

[29:51] just watching it by himself.

[29:52] And it was like, dude, you really wanna see him die again?

[29:55] Like, what are you doing?

[29:56] That's terrible.

[29:57] Yeah, well, I mean, Tyson has been revealed.

[30:00] be an asswipe.

[30:02] Yeah, and do you think it's a situation, because they all started at different times, that

[30:05] it's almost like performative laughter?

[30:07] Like one person freaked out and then everyone else is like, oh, I guess I should freak out

[30:11] too.

[30:12] Yeah.

[30:13] There's one person who's dead inside and does not feel any feelings about watching someone

[30:19] dying.

[30:20] But they're like, oh, I guess based on the general tone of the room.

[30:23] It's usually this sociopath there who's like, oh, I better put on the mask of sympathy that

[30:28] allows me to pass among others as a human with emotions.

[30:30] Exactly.

[30:31] I thought, I wonder if there was one person, they all went, oh, oh no, Ron Ron.

[30:35] And there's one person being like, I haven't gotten there yet.

[30:38] Stop.

[30:39] OK, now I saw it.

[30:41] Please, spoilers.

[30:43] No spoilies, please.

[30:45] I'm watching the Ron Ron video.

[30:49] There's one person who, you know what, Ron Ron video, make sure to stay to the end.

[30:54] If this, if this was a comedy, then they'd all be disgusted.

[30:57] And there'd be one person who hadn't watched yet and was like, his penis can't be that

[31:00] bad, can it?

[31:01] And then would play the video.

[31:03] So Marky's boyfriend is next up to play the game.

[31:06] This is Lucas and he starts hearing voices.

[31:08] The words truth or dare burn themselves into his arm for a moment.

[31:11] He calls Olivia and says, I have feelings for you.

[31:13] It's true because he got truth.

[31:15] Marky is next.

[31:16] She doesn't believe it.

[31:17] She chooses dare.

[31:19] And so the dare is break Olivia's hand.

[31:22] And she's like, I'm not going to do that.

[31:23] That's crazy.

[31:24] Do it or you'll die.

[31:25] Because as Ron Ron showed, if you don't pull off the dare, you die.

[31:29] You get to, you get possessed by this demon and it kills you in a Final Destination-y

[31:33] stupid way.

[31:34] So Olivia's like, do it, do it, do it.

[31:36] I do want to defend Final Destination.

[31:38] Oh no, Final Destination is...

[31:39] Because this is a movie that so desperately wishes it was Final Destination.

[31:44] Final Destination is the good version of that.

[31:45] This is a real Final Destination, it follows situation, but bad.

[31:49] Yeah.

[31:50] This movie.

[31:51] It is a, it is like if someone took It Follows, the script for It Follows and like dumbed

[31:56] it down by like 3000%, you know, and we're like, the problem is we don't know what the

[32:02] it is.

[32:03] Wouldn't it be scarier if instead of being some abstract force that we never really understand,

[32:07] but that possesses, takes the form of dead bodies, it is a demon named Calyx that was

[32:13] brought to earth by a, by a nun.

[32:15] And it's like, no, I don't think so.

[32:17] But we'll get to that.

[32:19] And if you're going to have an abstract force killing people, like you got to have a Tony

[32:22] Todd, right?

[32:23] Yeah.

[32:24] Well, I don't know if you need a Tony Todd.

[32:25] I don't know if you need to explain, you mean?

[32:29] Like, uh...

[32:30] Yeah, or like a guy with a lot of charisma like Tony Todd who can show up and tell you

[32:34] what's going on.

[32:35] Yeah.

[32:36] I mean, it helps to have Tony Todd in any movie because he's amazing and you can't keep

[32:39] your eyes off him.

[32:40] But so, uh, Olivia tells her to do it and it's like, and she gives her a hammer and

[32:46] she's like, hit my hand or you're going to die.

[32:48] And then she's like, are you a coward like your dad?

[32:50] And Marky gets mad and breaks her hand.

[32:52] She did it.

[32:53] Now she's not going to die.

[32:54] At the hospital.

[32:55] That was her, that was her pressure point.

[32:56] What I love about it is as soon as she hammers her friend's hand, like half of the friends

[33:01] just scatter.

[33:02] They're like, oh, I got a lot of homework to do.

[33:06] And leaving only a couple of people to take her to the hospital, like that's wild, dude.

[33:10] Yeah.

[33:11] This movie, as I texted you, this movie should have been called Bad Friends because it could

[33:16] have jumped onto that bad blank bandwagon.

[33:19] That's so hot right now.

[33:20] Oh, one thing that we, sorry.

[33:21] I'm Elliot.

[33:22] I'd also say it is one of those movies where two characters are supposed to be best friends

[33:26] who love each other, but they're consistently shitty to each other throughout the entire

[33:29] movie and they don't seem to like each other or like being around each other.

[33:33] Dan, what were you going to say?

[33:34] Speaking of best friends who I don't like being around Dan, what were you going to say?

[33:38] Just kidding, Dan.

[33:39] I love you.

[33:40] I love spending time with you.

[33:42] For a movie called Truth or Dare that's about, you know, like people being forced to sort

[33:48] of look out for themselves and put their interests above other people's to keep themselves alive,

[33:53] like this movie really, on the early scenes, ladles on with a heavy hand, be like, we're

[33:58] friends.

[33:59] I'll always put you ahead of me.

[34:00] And like, you know, like in the initial Truth or Dare, there's like a moral question that

[34:07] kicks off the whole thing, which is like, would you sacrifice yourself and your friends

[34:12] for millions of other people?

[34:13] Oh, yeah.

[34:14] They were like, if aliens came down and they're either going to kill us in this room or everyone

[34:19] in Mexico, who would you choose?

[34:20] Like it's such a ridiculously weighted moral question where it's like, I'm kind of a dick

[34:25] if I choose the seven Americans over the millions of people who live in Mexico.

[34:30] What, 150 million, 200 million people live in Mexico?

[34:35] I'm just saying that the foreshadowing of the themes is ladled on with a heavy hand,

[34:40] like cheese whiz on a nachos.

[34:42] Yeah.

[34:43] And the level of like...

[34:44] Do they usually use ladles for that?

[34:47] Put the cheese whiz on?

[34:48] Yeah.

[34:49] Well, you take the can and you spray the cheese into a ladle.

[34:54] And then you go out to your dinner party and you say, I made fresh cheese.

[34:59] The waiter, the waiter at the nacho restaurant, the French waiter who has the big vat of cheese

[35:03] whiz, a little more cheese whiz for the nachos.

[35:08] And then takes a ladle and just goops it on there.

[35:10] Yeah.

[35:11] So what you're saying, something about ladles?

[35:13] But it was, it was the, uh, the, the way that they make a point of telling everybody how

[35:18] important their friendship is, is not that far from say a fantasy movie talking about

[35:24] how a character is prophesied to be important.

[35:27] Right.

[35:28] Yeah.

[35:29] Where you're supposed to be watching this and be like, break her hand, but they told

[35:32] me they're best friends.

[35:33] Hmm.

[35:34] Hmm.

[35:35] Exactly.

[35:36] So, but the, the truth or daring is not, look, and you guys, you're saying bad friends, barely

[35:40] any of them go with her to the hospital on glow.

[35:42] When someone breaks a bone, everybody goes to the hospital to keep them company because

[35:45] they're real friends.

[35:46] Yeah.

[35:47] I feel like comparing yourself to the ladies of glow is an unfair yardstick.

[35:51] I guess I say is Blumhouse's truth or dare is no glow.

[35:56] It is not trying to be in order to succeed.

[35:58] Yeah.

[35:59] So at the hospital, uh, Brad, he, uh, he has a, he has a whole wasted amount of time

[36:05] with a malfunctioning vending machine and a dead person who talks to him, but he gets

[36:09] truth or dared truth he chooses and he has to come out to his dad, which turns out fine.

[36:14] We don't see the moment of the coming out, but he seems unaffected by it, which is great.

[36:18] I can.

[36:19] Well, I think he's more than unaffected.

[36:20] I think he has a weight lifted off his shoulders.

[36:23] It was actually, that was where I'm like, oh wow, truth or dare can be a force of good

[36:27] that a guy is able to come out to his perceived homophobic father and get a sense of relief

[36:33] out of it.

[36:34] Yeah.

[36:35] And as the father says in the scene later on, you're still my son, which implies a certain

[36:38] amount of judgment about being gay, but a still tolerance ultimately.

[36:42] So, uh, I guess what we're all saying is guys, if you're having trouble telling your family

[36:48] something that's very important to you, but you're worried about get possessed by the

[36:52] demon calyx in an abandoned Mexican church and that'll help you out.

[36:56] Okay.

[36:57] But Oh, things don't work out so well for Tyson, the sarcastic drug dealing boyfriend

[37:01] of Penelope.

[37:02] He's getting it.

[37:03] He's has an interview with the Dean of a med school.

[37:05] It took me a while to figure out what this interview was about.

[37:07] Was it for a job?

[37:08] Oh, he's just wants to get into med school, but he's about to graduate.

[37:10] He should know what med school he's going into.

[37:14] And the demon takes over the Dean smiley face truth or dare truth, whatever.

[37:20] How long have you been forging prescriptions to sell to freshmen?

[37:22] He's like, I don't do that.

[37:24] Takes his special pen that he uses to forge prescriptions, stabs himself in the head until

[37:28] he's dead.

[37:29] And his friends almost get there in time to, I don't know what, I don't know how they were

[37:32] going to stop that scenario, but they get there just as the blood is flowing out under

[37:36] the door.

[37:37] And they're like, ah, there's a lot of talk about like how we can't leave anyone alone,

[37:42] but it's never clear what the other people think they're going to be able to do.

[37:46] Yeah.

[37:47] Yeah.

[37:48] They're like super grossed out.

[37:49] Yeah.

[37:50] And Tyson has this little speech about making himself out to be like this great guy who's

[37:55] choosing medicine because he wants to help people.

[37:58] So the theme of hypocrisy is still running through the movie.

[38:02] Very subtly, as Dan was saying, ladle full of cheese was and all that.

[38:06] OK.

[38:07] I think that, you know what, guys, I want to introduce.

[38:09] I want that to be the new phrase for when things are just a little too heavy handed

[38:12] in a movie to say.

[38:13] Then they really ladled on the cheese was all right, like years from now, that's going

[38:19] to be on Urban Dictionary and they're going to be like scholars will have to trace it

[38:23] back to us.

[38:24] Yeah.

[38:25] Well, if it's on Urban Dictionary, we'll get an email about possible new sponsor cheese.

[38:31] If it's on Urban Dictionary, then the first definition that was going to be like when

[38:34] you jizz all over someone's food or something like that, like that's Urban Dictionary always

[38:38] has the sex one first.

[38:39] OK.

[38:40] Sorry, guys.

[38:41] I've just been uploading a lot of fake entries into Urban Dictionary about food jizz and

[38:47] OK.

[38:48] So what are the kids?

[38:49] So what are the kids going to do next?

[38:50] There's only one thing you can do.

[38:51] Google Mexico, truth or dare and find an article about the girl we saw in the opening who lit

[38:57] someone on fire.

[38:58] They do a little bit of Facebook detective work, find her Facebook page and send her

[39:02] a message that says, hey, and Marky is like, Olivia, don't be too nice in the message.

[39:06] She writes a message that says, we saw you like that woman on fire.

[39:09] Meet with us.

[39:10] Say the same to your family.

[39:11] It's like, well, Marky didn't need much to push her into madness.

[39:15] It seems.

[39:16] Yeah.

[39:17] Yeah.

[39:18] She was so hesitant to smash a hand.

[39:19] But as soon as her dad's brought up, as soon as her dad's name is invoked, she is driven

[39:24] to rage.

[39:25] Oh, yeah.

[39:26] Penelope is the next one to get through their dared.

[39:28] She gets dare that won't the demon won't let her pick truth.

[39:31] What's going on?

[39:32] And she has to walk along the outside of a roof while finishing a bottle of booze.

[39:36] And for some reason, she keeps walking and not drinking that much.

[39:39] She says, I have to keep walking around the roof until I finish this booze.

[39:42] It's like, so just just drink as much as you can each time.

[39:45] Like stop taking these baby sips and then walking around.

[39:47] I mean, it's like a whole it's like a whole bottle of vodka, though, dude.

[39:50] That's a lot to like that.

[39:52] Just on volume alone.

[39:54] It's a lot.

[39:55] I'm just saying this is I'm just telling her to strategize the way I would strategize,

[39:58] which is.

[40:00] Hold a bottle of vodka, shimmy down the chimney back to safety.

[40:03] Yeah, you're just playing Monday morning dare doer.

[40:06] I don't think that's fair.

[40:08] Yeah, fair point. I wasn't in the situation.

[40:11] The and I mean, she's also she's also coping with the death of her boyfriend.

[40:16] Low, no, low key.

[40:17] Is that what you're going to say? Yeah.

[40:19] Tyson. Yeah.

[40:20] The mnemonic device I was using was chicken, man.

[40:27] But everyone works together.

[40:30] Yeah. And she walks around the roof.

[40:31] And this is the moment where it became exceedingly apparent

[40:35] that this movie was kind of like these sequences were bargain basement

[40:40] final destination, because like that's it seems like this,

[40:44] that people are going to a fucking novelty truth or dare horror movie.

[40:49] Like you're going for like a wacky ass dare scenario where you're like,

[40:54] whoop, whoop, whoop.

[40:55] Yeah. And you don't really get that here.

[40:57] No. And even they managed to save her by using it.

[41:01] It's clear that the demon wants her to slip and fall onto some spiked fencing.

[41:06] But instead, they managed to break it down with a car

[41:10] and put a mattress on top of that car and she falls onto the mattress.

[41:12] And she's OK for one scene because they go and they tell the girl

[41:17] from the first the opening scene and the girl is like, I don't know.

[41:20] We walked into this church and my friend smashed it up

[41:22] and then we started playing truth or dare and blah, blah, blah.

[41:25] And it's my turn and my dare is to shoot Olivia.

[41:28] Penelope jumps in front of Olivia, saving her life and dying.

[41:31] And I have to imagine if Tyson was there, he would have been like,

[41:34] why do we work so hard to save her?

[41:36] That was a waste of time.

[41:37] Well, I think when I think when you're writing a story, Elliot,

[41:41] sometimes a character is more interesting when they're dead than when they're alive.

[41:44] Hmm. We have never seen like the effect of her death on everyone,

[41:49] which is actually feels immediately forgotten.

[41:52] Yeah, they actually they don't.

[41:53] Penelope is the friend who disappears the fastest from their minds.

[41:56] They're like Tyson. Why not Tyson?

[41:59] Didn't Tyson have a girlfriend? Yeah, I think they broke up or something.

[42:03] And like she's she shows herself to be the only true friend,

[42:06] because like we've never seen anything in the movie to suggest

[42:09] that she would jump in front of a bullet for a little bit.

[42:11] She does. She does just that.

[42:13] And Penelope is like Olivia.

[42:16] But she's the best of us. No.

[42:19] Uh. And she and she also

[42:24] she also barely gets a death scene. Yeah, that's true.

[42:29] We glazed over this, but the reason that they can't

[42:35] do truth all the time is that the Giselle explains

[42:38] that they did like something called like two truths and a dare or something

[42:42] like that, like after every two truths, you have to do a dare

[42:45] so that people can't just be forever.

[42:47] And Alex, the demon is like, hey, you know what?

[42:52] I'm not going to break the rules.

[42:53] Yeah, I'm going to take this game and just anyone who gets asked

[42:57] any question is just going to be marked for death.

[43:00] But you kids set the rules and I'm going to live with them. OK, so

[43:04] I'm going to do it.

[43:05] I'm going to follow with the two truths and a dare scheme.

[43:07] I'm not going to mess with what works.

[43:08] Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[43:10] That's what us demons say.

[43:13] Unless the broken thing is a canopic jar that seems to hold my essence,

[43:16] in which case leave that thing broken.

[43:18] Look, if you kids had you kids have decided to never have I ever,

[43:22] I would have figured out a way to like make never have I ever scary.

[43:26] You know, if you were playing that, if you're doing the hokey pokey, Simon says

[43:30] it's all going to be bad.

[43:31] Look, I'll find a way to make it kill you.

[43:32] Actually, Simon's going to be a better version.

[43:34] Maybe, frankly, you're lucky you didn't do Marco Polo or else

[43:37] you'd all be bloated brown corpses by now.

[43:41] What? Because they just drown?

[43:43] Yeah, probably.

[43:46] So we're playing ghosts in the graveyard.

[43:48] Oh, you guys would still be in that graveyard.

[43:50] If you guys were playing Werewolf or Mafia, pretty much the same game.

[43:53] Assassin, they also call it.

[43:55] You'd all be really killing each other.

[43:57] Anyway, you get the drift. I'm a demon.

[43:59] So, guys, what if this was called Blumhouse's Simon Says?

[44:02] How would the game be different and how would the movie be different?

[44:04] Dan, pitch it to me.

[44:08] Well, everyone would just be told, Simon says, stab that person

[44:12] and it would happen in, I don't know, like 10 minutes.

[44:15] The movie would be over.

[44:16] OK, wow. So it's like that would be in the shorts category.

[44:21] And I assume at the end the demon would say,

[44:24] you win, you're free to go, leave, and they'd start leaving.

[44:26] And it would go it would smile and go, I didn't say Simon Says.

[44:31] They'd all explode in hellfire.

[44:33] Awesome. OK, so Penelope dead.

[44:37] They get over it. Giselle, she didn't pull off her dare.

[44:40] So she smiles and shoots herself in the head.

[44:42] Our teams investigate the church where the game took place

[44:45] and they find there was a massacre there.

[44:46] Only one nun survived.

[44:48] Olivia gets truth or dared, dared to sleep with Lucas, Marquis' boyfriend.

[44:53] And in the middle of sex, Olivia smileys.

[44:55] And I got to imagine I have to give Lucas credit for maintaining an erection

[44:59] when Olivia makes that face in the middle of their sexual act.

[45:02] I don't know if I would have been able to do it.

[45:03] I think that says more about Lucas's personality at this point.

[45:07] Yeah, this like this big twist them up is at this point, like

[45:11] they know that death is on the line, like multiple friends are dead.

[45:15] Shouldn't they just be happy that any of them can find any weird moments of joy?

[45:20] Whether or not that would be a joyful coupling?

[45:23] Question mark. Who knows?

[45:24] Well, this is because Marquis is the one who who still doesn't quite believe it.

[45:28] She thinks that this is, I guess, all just a series of coincidences.

[45:31] And so, yeah, when when she's Olivia's like, my dear was to sleep with Lucas

[45:36] and Marquis like, yeah, that sounds right. Sure.

[45:39] And Marquis really mad.

[45:40] But yeah, if you if it's like, look.

[45:42] Yes, I have some kinds of feelings for your boyfriend,

[45:44] but if I don't sleep with him, I'm going to die.

[45:46] Would you rather I die?

[45:47] And if Marquis like, let me think about it, then again, not your best friend.

[45:51] Not a great friend act, you know? Yeah.

[45:55] So, you know, that that happens.

[45:58] Everybody's upset in the middle of sex.

[46:00] Olivia Truther, there's Lucas.

[46:02] The question is, who do you love?

[46:04] But she doesn't do it the fun way.

[46:05] She doesn't go, who do you love?

[46:07] Dead to dead to dead.

[46:10] I think you're being charitable.

[46:12] I mean, it's more fun than the movie.

[46:14] It's not that fun.

[46:15] But and and Lucas admits that he has feelings for Olivia,

[46:19] but he loves Marquis, which I think is supposed to come across as like sweet

[46:24] in a way, but it's really gross because it's like I've got feelings for you.

[46:27] But I love Marquis.

[46:28] It's like, dude, in this society, you don't get to have more than one.

[46:32] Just like, come on.

[46:33] I mean, I mean, it's not fair to have like I'm not going.

[46:37] I'm not going to be overly judgmental about people's

[46:40] like feelings or their lifestyles or whatever.

[46:42] I will be.

[46:43] But it is at this point, like that shouldn't be that huge of a shocker.

[46:47] They're like being forced into having sex by a demon.

[46:51] Like just just at this point, it's just survival, right?

[46:55] Well, I think Olivia, there's a certain part of her that was like,

[46:57] oh, I want him to be doing this with me for me and not just to save my life,

[47:01] but because he also likes me, you know, but also like had the demon

[47:04] not intervened like he would have had feelings for Olivia,

[47:07] but he would have kept them quiet and he would have been in love with Marquis.

[47:11] Like the only gross thing about it is that like he's having sex with her

[47:15] at the time that he's forced to be like, uh, I just kind of like you.

[47:20] Sorry. Yeah.

[47:23] Meanwhile, I guess it's different levels of emotion involved.

[47:25] Yeah, I guess that's fair.

[47:26] You know what? It's a rich tapestry.

[47:27] It's a layer cake.

[47:29] This thing.

[47:29] This movie is like an onion.

[47:30] You just keep peeling the layers and it makes you cry because it's so true

[47:34] because this movie is not like a layer cake because there's no Daniel.

[47:39] What would it be like if Daniel Craig was in it?

[47:42] He would say.

[47:43] Truth or dare, allow, allow.

[47:47] Right, right, right.

[47:48] I mean, probably anything else you'd say, Jim, Jiminy Drew,

[47:54] he would zip up the chimney.

[47:55] Yeah, well, that's the demon making him do that.

[47:59] I know for a second he thought that I was being Daniel Craig, doing Daniel Craig.

[48:02] But in this case, I was being Daniel Craig, doing Calyx, the demon.

[48:06] I see.

[48:06] I know you did beer, Daniel Craig doing Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins.

[48:10] I don't know that reference, Elliot.

[48:12] I thought that was I just made that up whole cloth.

[48:16] So Marky takes solace the only way she can by watching the video of her dad again.

[48:20] And her dad starts talking to her.

[48:22] The demons inside her phone.

[48:23] Ah, but really, damn, we think about it is the demon inside all of our phones

[48:27] since we're addicted to these phones.

[48:28] Oh, oh, man.

[48:31] Men, women and children was a good movie.

[48:34] Iron Man, demon in a bottle, more like demon in a phone.

[48:37] Oh, I can't stop looking at Twitter.

[48:40] OK, so Olivia and Lucas, what else they can do?

[48:43] They go to Tijuana to find that nun who survived the massacre years ago,

[48:47] but she hasn't spoken in 50 years.

[48:49] So she writes them a letter in English, which they read aloud

[48:52] about how there was a priest that was abusing the nuns there

[48:54] until one of the young nuns cast a spell to summon a demon, Calyx,

[48:58] who possessed their truth or who possessed their game.

[49:01] It's never clear if they were playing truth or dare, right?

[49:04] They were just playing some kind of game.

[49:06] Yeah, they're probably playing like, I don't know, like

[49:10] like trolls and dungeons or something.

[49:14] Is that like a game?

[49:17] It's it's like shoots and laughs.

[49:20] Or it's like that's the that's the bootleg version of Dungeons and Dragons.

[49:24] They're like, look, we can't afford dragons.

[49:26] We have trolls and the dungeons are not quite as good.

[49:28] So we're going to lower them in the billing somewhat.

[49:30] They're not going to get top billing trolls and dungeons.

[49:33] Sometimes you're going to go to a dungeon.

[49:35] It's not even going to have a troll in it.

[49:36] Let's just be honest.

[49:37] This version of Dungeons, it's just it's not great.

[49:39] And in fact, and you and you're like and you're like, do I waste my time coming here?

[49:43] There's not even a troll. What's going on?

[49:45] And you're like, this is the worst role playing game I've played

[49:47] since Dungeon Dungeonous and Dragons, when you're either a dragon or a Dungeonous crab.

[49:53] Yeah, and I think I think the the table is weighted toward rolling crab.

[49:57] Right. Oh, yeah. Always.

[49:58] Yeah, you have to roll it.

[50:00] You have to get a perfect 20 to become a dragon.

[50:02] Oh, wow.

[50:02] Otherwise, it's all crabs.

[50:04] And it's on two six-sided dice, so, like, that's impossible, right?

[50:08] It's a good luck rolling a 20, dudes.

[50:11] Okay, so, Ina is the nun.

[50:13] She reveals that she was the one who summoned the demon,

[50:17] and the only way to get rid of it was to say this one—

[50:20] the person who called up the demon has to say a spell seven times

[50:24] and then make a sacrifice in a little pot with a skull painted on it,

[50:27] and that sacrifice is their own tongue.

[50:30] And then Ina opens her mouth and goes,

[50:31] ah, ah, ah, ah, and shows you the stump of her tongue that she cut out.

[50:35] And let's just say, compared to the scene in The Dentist,

[50:39] starring Corbin Bernson, where someone has their tongue cut out,

[50:42] not as gross.

[50:43] I'm just going to say it.

[50:43] Not as effectively gross.

[50:45] Yeah, I feel like, I do feel like after a certain point in time,

[50:49] not to make light of people who have lost their tongues,

[50:51] but if I had to remove my own tongue for a ritual,

[50:55] years down the road, if a bunch of young, sassy teens showed up,

[51:00] I think I'd have to do a tongue waggle.

[51:02] Oh, of course, yeah.

[51:03] You got to make it worth the while.

[51:05] It's like, from my understanding,

[51:07] the only reason you have children is so you can embarrass them as teenagers

[51:09] in front of their friends.

[51:10] I mean, clearly she's been waiting for this moment,

[51:13] because, like, she doesn't have her caretaker tell the kids, like,

[51:16] oh, she doesn't have a tongue, so she can't talk.

[51:18] She's just like, tell them that I won't talk to them.

[51:21] Well, I mean, she wrote that down.

[51:25] She hasn't said a word in 50 years.

[51:27] Exactly.

[51:27] And they look at her and they go, okay, vow of silence.

[51:30] What are you going to do?

[51:30] Okay, sure.

[51:32] And her caretakers are like, you're going to large marge them?

[51:36] And she nods and smiles.

[51:39] And, and, and Hal Pinter is like,

[51:42] this is a very loose version of my play, The Caretaker,

[51:46] and I don't appreciate what you've done with it.

[51:49] So that play, The Caretaker, I got to see it with Jonathan Pryce in it.

[51:55] He was amazing.

[51:55] So, guys, Jonathan Pryce, great actor.

[51:58] Yeah, star of G.I. Joe Cobra's Revenge or whatever it's called.

[52:02] Yeah, G.I. Joe Here Comes Cobra again.

[52:04] G.I. Joe 3, oh, here he comes.

[52:08] He's a cobra, starring Hall & Oates.

[52:11] Here comes Honey Cobra.

[52:12] What?

[52:13] Go on.

[52:13] I said, here comes Honey Cobra.

[52:15] Here comes Honey Cobra.

[52:19] Because it's time for Cobra to redneck-ignize what's going on here.

[52:23] Yeah, exactly.

[52:24] So, anyway, they need to find the guy who put the spell on them,

[52:28] which I guess is Screamin' Jay Hawkins, because they're his,

[52:31] and get him to say the spell and cut out his tongue.

[52:35] And they have to put it in a little jar that I guess Inez made that has, like,

[52:40] Evil Ernie painted on it, some kind of grinning, like, 90s skull.

[52:45] I'm into it.

[52:46] Yeah, it looks like a failed Monster Energy drink logo.

[52:53] Brad's with his dad when he gets Truth or Dare.

[52:55] His dad is a cop, and the Truth or Dare says,

[52:58] steal your dad's pistol and make him beg for his life.

[53:01] And rather than Brad being like, dad, and Brad's dad has been,

[53:04] okay, is there anything going on here with all your friends dying that we should know about?

[53:08] Anything.

[53:09] And for some reason, none of these college kids, when they're talked to by policemen,

[53:13] even tries to tell the story of what's going on.

[53:16] And you'd expect in a movie like this, they'd be like, it's a demon.

[53:18] And they'd be like, sure, sure it is.

[53:20] We'll get to the bottom of this.

[53:21] But they don't even try.

[53:22] And they never say, like, I can't tell him.

[53:24] He'll think I'm crazy.

[53:25] They just don't bother.

[53:26] And it's one of these things where I'm like, is this movie really about the generation gap,

[53:30] how hard it is for young people to communicate with their elders?

[53:33] Dan Stewart, let's open a symposium here.

[53:35] What do you think?

[53:37] Yeah, I mean, I do like how our teens are better crime solvers than the police.

[53:44] I think that's kind of a harsh indictment of the police system that we have, right?

[53:50] Yeah. I mean, to be fair, they're not cooperating with the police force,

[53:53] which would give them needed information, like the reason why this is all happening.

[53:58] But the police do seem to mostly—

[54:00] Maybe they were trying to save the adults

[54:05] in their lives from being trapped in their own truth or dare game.

[54:08] Oh, that's a fair point.

[54:09] Because as you're an adult, those truths get harder.

[54:12] I mean, I, for one, am glad that the movie—

[54:16] I mean, I get dared multiple times a day to wipe human shit off of a person's butt.

[54:23] Multiple times a day.

[54:25] And that's the—

[54:26] Danielle is like, I dare you to do it.

[54:28] And you're like, you're fucking nasty.

[54:31] She's like, hell yeah, I am.

[54:33] Just wipe that butt.

[54:34] She's like, truth or dare?

[54:36] Okay, dare.

[54:37] Clean that baby's diaper.

[54:38] Oh, man.

[54:39] I fell for it again.

[54:40] But, Dan, you were going to say something about babies and diapers?

[54:43] It wasn't that important.

[54:45] Oh, another role-playing—

[54:46] I—

[54:47] Wait, another role-playing game—

[54:48] Wait, you asked me what I was going to say, and then you interrupted me.

[54:51] Guys, never play Dungeons & Diapers.

[54:53] That's also not a good role-playing game.

[54:55] It's very different.

[54:56] Very different.

[54:57] And if you're into it, that's totally cool.

[54:59] I'm not going to judge you, but I am not into Dungeons & Diapers.

[55:02] Dan, you were going to say?

[55:03] Hey, guys.

[55:04] I just—

[55:05] Talk about—

[55:06] Let me put my sunglasses on.

[55:07] Yeah, go on.

[55:09] Shitty game.

[55:10] Okay.

[55:11] Yeah!

[55:12] Oh!

[55:13] Dent to dent, dent.

[55:14] CSI Flophouse.

[55:15] Dan, you were going to say?

[55:17] No, all I meant to say was, like, I, for one, am glad that there was not a scene

[55:22] where they tried to convince the police that there was a demon involved.

[55:26] Just because it's going to be another one of those scenes where, like,

[55:28] yeah, sure, there's a demon involved.

[55:29] We suspect you all the more now because you're making these crazy claims.

[55:32] Oh, yeah.

[55:34] But instead we get scenes where this one cop who never seems to leave his office

[55:37] calls Olivia in and is like,

[55:39] Seems like a lot of people are dying.

[55:41] Can you tell me why?

[55:42] No, I don't know.

[55:43] Okay.

[55:44] Well, let me give you a piece of information then.

[55:46] This is the guy who seems to have caused it all.

[55:48] Does that jog your memory?

[55:50] No, it doesn't.

[55:51] Okay.

[55:52] Well, I'm going to go get you a glass of water while you take a picture

[55:54] of all this confidential police paperwork.

[55:56] Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

[55:58] Are you done taking the picture?

[55:59] No.

[56:00] Okay, I'll keep my back turned.

[56:01] Da-da-bop-bop-bop.

[56:02] Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

[56:03] Okay, I'm done.

[56:04] Great.

[56:05] Okay, so anything else you want to tell me?

[56:06] No.

[56:07] All right, then.

[56:08] See you in Mexico.

[56:09] Like, that's basically each one of those scenes.

[56:11] Yeah.

[56:12] Well, it reminds me of that famous episode of Homicide Life on the Streets,

[56:15] The Box, where they have that guy

[56:18] and they're trying to pin the crime on him

[56:20] and he's like,

[56:22] A demon did it!

[56:24] Is he?

[56:25] No, I'm making that all up.

[56:26] Okay.

[56:27] I wonder how often IRL

[56:29] Well, we'll have to

[56:31] If you're a police officer, just write into the show

[56:33] and tell us how often

[56:35] suspects blame it on like a demon

[56:37] truth or dare game.

[56:39] Or actually don't, because that'll make me sad.

[56:41] There's a

[56:43] the guy that the show Mindhunters is based off of

[56:45] who

[56:47] was an expert consultant

[56:49] on Silence of the Lambs.

[56:51] I read all his books when I was a teenager.

[56:53] And he talks about talking to David Berkowitz,

[56:55] the son of Sam Killer.

[56:57] He was like, oh yeah, a demon and my dog told me to do it.

[56:59] And he was like, bullshit, don't give me that.

[57:01] And David Berkowitz was like, oh, you got me.

[57:03] That was one case

[57:05] where a guy said, oh, a demon told me to do it.

[57:07] And it wasn't really the case.

[57:09] They were like, you're just trying

[57:11] to make us think you're crazy.

[57:13] You're right, I'm not crazy. I get sexual pleasure from murdering people.

[57:15] Yeah, you're not crazy.

[57:17] Are you 100% sure

[57:19] there wasn't a demon in that dog?

[57:21] I mean, we can never be totally sure.

[57:23] Every demon has a dog.

[57:26] I mean, they're delicious devil dogs.

[57:30] Yeah, do you think devil dogs

[57:32] tried to rebrand themselves after that?

[57:34] Well, they were trying to figure out

[57:36] if they should get in touch with him as an endorser

[57:38] or just change the name.

[57:42] Oh man, we can just cut this out

[57:44] and use this as our promo so people think

[57:46] we're like a true crime podcast

[57:48] that deals with the death of real people

[57:50] kind of lightly.

[57:52] Isn't that fun, guys? Don't we love that?

[57:54] Yeah, I love to trivialize real horror

[57:56] that happens to people in tragic ways.

[57:58] Hey guys, that was a real hot take on true crime

[58:00] we just did.

[58:02] And it means we don't have time for the skit I was going to act out

[58:04] about the guy who was selling devil dogs

[58:06] door to door who was like,

[58:08] things have never been better. I can finally get out of debt,

[58:10] afford that new car, really show my family

[58:12] the life that they deserve. And then he turns on the TV

[58:14] and it goes, son of Sam killer says

[58:16] a devil dog told him to kill these people.

[58:18] And he just goes, oh no.

[58:20] And picks up the phone and goes,

[58:22] I got some bad news.

[58:24] I was going to think it just cuts to him

[58:26] in a hobo outfit riding the rails.

[58:28] That really happened fast.

[58:30] And when he's watching the TV, he looks over

[58:32] in the corner and there's just stacks and stacks

[58:34] of devil dog boxes.

[58:36] And he's got to eat them all now so they don't go to waste.

[58:38] He's riding the rails and he's like,

[58:40] I was the king of the hostess snack cakes.

[58:42] Yeah, yeah, we heard it, we heard it.

[58:44] So anyway, back to the movie.

[58:46] Brad, the devil

[58:48] tells him, take your dad's gun

[58:50] and make him beg for his life.

[58:52] And he takes his dad's gun and his dad just does not get it.

[58:54] His dad's like, Brad, whatever's going on

[58:56] I'll help you, I love you, you're my son.

[58:58] He's like, get down and beg for your life, trust me.

[59:00] Just do it, you've got to do it, I'll explain it later.

[59:02] And the dad's like, no, come on, let's talk

[59:04] this out, let's hug it out.

[59:06] He just won't play along and he can't get it done.

[59:08] So what happens, another cop shoots Brad

[59:10] in the back.

[59:12] And Brad's dad is, that is textbook way

[59:14] to keep a suspect

[59:16] talking.

[59:18] So you think it was all planned.

[59:20] He's like, I had backup coming the whole time.

[59:22] I see, so he was stalling

[59:24] his son so the other guy could get into position.

[59:26] At the police station

[59:28] now it's Olivia's turn, she chooses

[59:30] dare and she gets to tell Markey

[59:32] her deepest secret that she could never tell Markey.

[59:34] And she tells Markey...

[59:36] So isn't that kind of a truth?

[59:38] Yes, it is a truth.

[59:40] This is the game's way of trying to get truth out.

[59:42] We had previously learned that Olivia

[59:44] doesn't want to choose truth because she has a truth

[59:46] that she doesn't want to tell Markey.

[59:48] Yeah, it would destroy Markey.

[59:50] It's a weird loophole here.

[59:52] And she's like, you got me Callux!

[59:54] Oh boy!

[59:56] So she tells him, she tells Markey,

[59:58] tells her...

[1:00:00] The night your dad killed himself, I was there, and I went over there, and he got drunk, and he tried to have sex with me, and I said no, and he wouldn't stop, so I left, and I said you should die, and he killed himself.

[1:00:13] So it's like a very messy situation. It's not really that funny, and Marky is understandably more distraught.

[1:00:21] Not that it's supposed to be funny. Not that I thought it was supposed to be funny.

[1:00:24] I texted you guys, and I was like this movie is very cruel to its characters.

[1:00:27] Oh yeah, very much so.

[1:00:28] Aside from being like malicious in its design where like people can't escape any of this shit, like it's just, there's just mean stuff that happens in it that for a light teen horror movie seems weird to me.

[1:00:42] It's a movie that thinks that it's funny games every now and then when you're like I want to see people get like their fingers cut off and stuff like that.

[1:00:49] I don't want to see them having to recognize that what crime their dad committed in the final moments before he committed suicide.

[1:00:56] Like this is too much Blumhouse.

[1:01:00] Yeah, and I mean, not to play Monday morning movie maker again, the 4Ms, but I mean, if you're making, once again, a novelty horror movie, people are coming in there to, it should be fun, and it should be like gross, and maybe a little scary, but it's not, it shouldn't be serious.

[1:01:21] It's not like people are like, oh, this is a serious examination of the way truths and dares affect us.

[1:01:25] Like you should make the dare sequences super wacky and crazy and bloody, and then you should make the, like, make sure everybody has like really bitchy backstories so that when the truths come out it just heightens everything else.

[1:01:38] And it shouldn't heighten them in a weird way like this where like you feel, you shouldn't feel bad that, I don't know, you shouldn't feel bad that this is all happening to the characters.

[1:01:47] You should take some kind of pleasure that bad people have bad things happening to them.

[1:01:51] I feel like the tone should be closer to another Blumhouse film, Happy Death Day, which I enjoyed very much, which was another very gimmicky movie but was just fun.

[1:02:00] It was like a silly horror movie.

[1:02:02] Now not to play Calix's advocate here, but isn't there something to be said for a movie that presents itself as if it's going to be a wacky romp but then actually makes the audience question why they would go to see such a movie since it's not that fun to see people really being hurt emotionally?

[1:02:19] Isn't there some – I mean they don't do it well here.

[1:02:23] Yeah, you're basically just saying like that would be if I bought a ticket to see Blumhouse's Truth or Dare and when I sat down they just started playing funny games.

[1:02:34] Then there's a person standing at the front of the theater saying, I think this is the movie you really want to see.

[1:02:42] And then they turn into, I don't know, a bunch of critters and roll out of the theater.

[1:02:49] Wow.

[1:02:50] That's an elaborate way to get out of a movie theater.

[1:02:54] I'm just saying they don't do it well here, but there's something to really shocking an audience that way that would have been very memorable and very affecting, and I guess you're right.

[1:03:03] That's basically funny games, but still.

[1:03:05] Okay.

[1:03:07] But you also should make it – you should also make it shocking.

[1:03:10] Like there's no – other than this horrible reveal about a father's suicide, there's nothing else that's really shocking in the movie.

[1:03:18] Which is unearned and crass.

[1:03:19] I guess what I'm saying is in a way I'm kind of defending Mother, I guess, which was presented as if it was a creepy house and some strangers come in and cause trouble movie, but in actuality was something much more challenging and strange that made people really uncomfortable to the point that they got mad at it.

[1:03:35] But that's not – you're right.

[1:03:37] That's not what this movie is attempting to do.

[1:03:40] It's attempting to be a sleepover horror movie, and instead they're throwing in like really rough things that – in a tasteless way that are unearned.

[1:03:49] Okay.

[1:03:50] So that's fair.

[1:03:51] You know what?

[1:03:52] I retract my case.

[1:03:53] You guys win.

[1:03:54] I accept the charges.

[1:03:55] Take it to movie jail.

[1:04:00] Okay.

[1:04:01] So Olivia discovers who the guy was who caused all this.

[1:04:04] It was Giselle's friend Sam, aka Carter, the creepy guy who got them.

[1:04:08] They go to get Marky.

[1:04:10] Marky is just about to shoot herself.

[1:04:11] Oh, no, and Olivia talks her out of it because they love each other.

[1:04:14] They're best friends as has been seen so many times throughout the movie.

[1:04:17] They're devoted to each other, and they really enjoy spending time together.

[1:04:19] They go to Sam's apartment where he has sequestered himself mainly by just covering the windows with tinfoil.

[1:04:24] I guess in case the sun tells him to do their dare or the man in the moon starts talking to him.

[1:04:31] If he sees a cloud that looks like a smiley face.

[1:04:34] Yeah, Mack Tonight is like, hey, everybody, have some burgers for dinner, truth or dare.

[1:04:39] I dare you to eat a McDonald's hamburger.

[1:04:41] He's like, no, no, it's made of worms.

[1:04:44] They're like, please.

[1:04:45] Worms would be too expensive.

[1:04:47] We get cheaper stuff to make our burgers out of.

[1:04:50] Yeah, this is one of the places where I'm like unclear about the rules because I'm like really – can you really avoid getting dared by sequestering yourself like this?

[1:04:57] Because before, people's truth or dare would get burned under their arms, the words truth or dare.

[1:05:03] So it doesn't seem like this should be effective.

[1:05:05] Yeah, maybe when that happened, if that happened to him, he'd be like, hell yeah.

[1:05:09] I've been meaning to get this ink done.

[1:05:12] It's also – this led me to one of those things where I'm –

[1:05:14] And then he took a quick Instagram of it and posted it.

[1:05:17] It's one of those movies too.

[1:05:19] Hashtag Inktober.

[1:05:20] This is a demon from Mexico.

[1:05:22] I mean the demons are from hell.

[1:05:23] They're not from Mexico.

[1:05:24] But it's one of those things where I always wonder if demons just speak every language automatically because what if it was like truth or dare to someone who didn't speak English and they're like no se, que?

[1:05:34] No se?

[1:05:35] Truth or dare?

[1:05:36] No.

[1:05:37] I don't know.

[1:05:38] No.

[1:05:39] They –

[1:05:40] Elliot's bit requires you to understand he's shrugging.

[1:05:43] Okay, yeah.

[1:05:44] So what is – like what does the demon do in that scenario?

[1:05:46] Does he give up or does the demon go get Rosetta Stone and learn the language that he needs to speak?

[1:05:51] Like what?

[1:05:52] I'm glad that this all-powerful demon is limited in that specific capacity, Elliot.

[1:05:57] I'm just wondering.

[1:05:58] It seems unrealistic to me that this demon suddenly speaks every single language.

[1:06:02] Like what about Basque?

[1:06:04] Nobody speaks Basque.

[1:06:05] What about Magyar?

[1:06:06] It's a very difficult language.

[1:06:08] Yeah.

[1:06:09] What if a person only was raised in like a weird dog tooth scenario?

[1:06:13] Yeah, exactly.

[1:06:14] And only reads Wingdings?

[1:06:18] What a cruel trick to play on a child to teach them Wingdings like it was the alphabet.

[1:06:23] Now how do you pronounce Wingdings?

[1:06:26] Oh, Dan.

[1:06:27] Okay.

[1:06:28] I mean to be honest, Dan, the sounds that are attributed to letters are arbitrary.

[1:06:33] All right, sure.

[1:06:35] We invented that.

[1:06:36] It's not like an L naturally makes that sound.

[1:06:38] Like somebody made that decision.

[1:06:40] You mean they're not all onomatopoeias?

[1:06:44] But even an onomatopoeia is made of letters that are – oh, boy, never mind.

[1:06:47] Okay, so they go to his apartment, and they beat him up until he – and take him at gunpoint to the church.

[1:06:55] They make him repeat the magic spell, and the church starts shaking.

[1:06:58] It's like a love shack when they're dancing in it, and the whole place starts shaking.

[1:07:03] So Lucas gets dared to kill either Olivia or Marky, and he won't do it.

[1:07:08] So he gets possessed and then stabs Sam as Sam is saying the spells, and then himself.

[1:07:13] Sam didn't finish cutting his own tongue out.

[1:07:15] There's a moment where Olivia is like, okay, Sam, this is the hard part.

[1:07:18] I need you to cut your own tongue out and put it in this jar.

[1:07:20] And he's like, what?

[1:07:21] And she's like, do it.

[1:07:22] And it takes two or three back and forth, and he's finally like, I can't believe I'm doing this,

[1:07:26] and takes a knife and starts cutting at his tongue.

[1:07:28] And it's the fact that he takes the moment to say I can't believe I'm doing this.

[1:07:32] Yeah, he's like long-time reader, first-time cutter.

[1:07:37] It's what people say when it's like I need you to go out there.

[1:07:41] The rock star who's supposed to be here tonight, they're not here.

[1:07:44] I need you to put on their costume and makeup and put on a show for these people.

[1:07:47] I can't believe I'm doing this, but okay.

[1:07:50] But instead he's cutting out his own tongue.

[1:07:52] Jean-Claude Van Damme, the only way you can stop these terrorists is by playing goalie in this hockey match.

[1:07:56] This is another part where I'm like I'm not really clear on the rules of this game.

[1:08:03] You say the demon is adhering to the rules, but apparently just because the demon has possessed Lucas,

[1:08:11] that means that he can take a little moment to kill Sam before he kills himself.

[1:08:15] It seems unfair to me.

[1:08:17] Demons do cheat.

[1:08:19] It's one of those things where they're like those stories where it's like Satan is the lord of lies.

[1:08:24] You have to beat him by his own rules, and then Satan's like, ah, you got me.

[1:08:28] But it's like if he's the lord of lies, he can just do whatever.

[1:08:30] Why does he care about not breaking rules?

[1:08:32] Who's the Satan police that's going to put him in jail for this?

[1:08:36] Are you going to sue him?

[1:08:37] John Constantine, the Satan police.

[1:08:41] Yeah, the Hellblazer.

[1:08:43] So it's too late.

[1:08:44] Ah, Sam didn't finish it.

[1:08:46] It's Marky's turn, and Olivia tells her pick dare, pick dare.

[1:08:49] She's like if you trust me, pick dare.

[1:08:51] The dare is to shoot Olivia, and Olivia's big plan is to move slightly so that she gets shot in the arm.

[1:08:58] Yeah, yeah.

[1:08:59] She matrixes out of the way.

[1:09:01] And now it's Olivia's turn, and Olivia goes, Calyx, I truth or dare you?

[1:09:05] And the demon is like, oh, what?

[1:09:07] And he goes, you're here.

[1:09:08] I'm going to make you part of the game.

[1:09:10] And this should be a very stupid loophole that she uses to stop him.

[1:09:15] But instead, Calyx goes, no.

[1:09:18] She goes, okay, truth.

[1:09:21] And she goes, tell us how to survive the game, how to win it.

[1:09:23] And he goes, you can't.

[1:09:25] It's like, okay, I guess you're being truthful, but like what was the point of that whole scene?

[1:09:29] It was almost like somebody wrote a version of the script, and they were like this is a clever way to get out of this.

[1:09:35] I'll have them make Calyx play truth or dare and tell them how to defeat him.

[1:09:38] But then another screenwriter came on and was like, no, we're not doing that, but they left the scene in.

[1:09:42] So they just had Calyx go like, you can't.

[1:09:44] Everybody dies.

[1:09:45] And so there's only one way to do this.

[1:09:48] To save Marky, Olivia sends out a web video.

[1:09:51] We saw her earlier recording a web video about how important it is to do Habitat for Humanity stuff because she was working for a different devil, Jimmy.

[1:09:58] Carter.

[1:10:00] But this time, she sends out a web video telling their story, and she says,

[1:10:06] everyone who sees this video, truth or dare, it goes viral.

[1:10:10] We see people all over the world watching this video,

[1:10:12] and now they're all playing the game,

[1:10:14] and suddenly, someone goes smiley and the game is spread.

[1:10:18] It's the exact same ending as the movie Rings.

[1:10:21] The exact same ending.

[1:10:23] So guys, Dan, Stuart, tell me about your thoughts on this ending.

[1:10:29] I can't wait for Truth or Double Dare,

[1:10:31] where it's set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland,

[1:10:34] where civilization has been destroyed by Calyx's truth or dare game.

[1:10:38] There's small disparate groups of survivors that, I don't know,

[1:10:43] live in houses with all the windows taped up,

[1:10:45] so they can't see Mac tonight, Truth or Daring them.

[1:10:48] Or there's one city left that's run by the president of Calyx or something,

[1:10:53] the United States of Calyx,

[1:10:54] and they have a sacrifice every night of someone who's going to play the game.

[1:10:58] Yeah, that's better than my idea.

[1:10:59] There's a crowd of people chanting,

[1:11:00] truth or dare,

[1:11:02] truth or dare, that kind of stuff.

[1:11:04] So guys, this is a pretty smart ending, right?

[1:11:06] Mark Summers will play the president of Calyx.

[1:11:09] Yeah, Mark Summers plays, and he goes,

[1:11:11] physical challenge.

[1:11:16] So Olivia has failed earlier.

[1:11:19] She said, of course, I would sacrifice my friends to save everyone in Mexico,

[1:11:22] but now she's failed that challenge,

[1:11:25] and she sacrificed everyone on earth to save Marky, of all people.

[1:11:30] Yeah.

[1:11:30] So the thought here is that

[1:11:34] it's just creating such a big pool of players

[1:11:37] that it's going to take forever for the turn to come back around to her, I guess.

[1:11:40] Yes, yeah.

[1:11:41] That's the idea.

[1:11:42] Just to clarify the stupidness of this.

[1:11:46] I mean, frankly, it is the way to win that game in a way.

[1:11:49] Yes.

[1:11:49] Because it's much the way that health insurance works,

[1:11:53] where you spread out the risk, the financial risk over lots and lots of people,

[1:11:56] so that when someone needs catastrophic help, the money is there.

[1:11:59] Except in this way, it's guaranteed that someone's going to,

[1:12:02] like, it's like every now and then,

[1:12:03] someone just lights somebody else on fire from a dare,

[1:12:05] because they're still playing two truths and a dare.

[1:12:07] Somebody somewhere is going to get dare.

[1:12:10] But think of all the good that'll come from,

[1:12:13] you know, society having to reveal their truths.

[1:12:16] Yeah, that's fair.

[1:12:17] Right, guys?

[1:12:19] Sure.

[1:12:20] Sure, sure.

[1:12:21] Dan, why is your face morphing into a weird smile face?

[1:12:25] Truth or dare, Stu.

[1:12:27] Oh, and the great, so there's a song that plays over the credits

[1:12:29] that's wacky and talks about silk panties at a auntie's house or something.

[1:12:35] And then the end of the, the very end of the movie,

[1:12:37] as right before the whole thing cuts to black,

[1:12:40] we hear Calyx's voice one more time say, truth or dare, demonic laughter.

[1:12:46] Now it says demonic laughter?

[1:12:48] I mean, it said it in the closed captioning.

[1:12:50] Oh, I see.

[1:12:53] Now, let me say this about this movie, guys.

[1:12:55] I will say this.

[1:12:56] Except for the moments where the characters revealed

[1:12:58] uncomfortable things to each other that were unearned,

[1:13:00] this movie is dull, but it goes down smooth.

[1:13:03] I didn't have to think very much.

[1:13:05] And I was kind of surprised.

[1:13:07] Usually I'm like, oh, it's taking forever.

[1:13:08] But this movie, I was like, ah, this movie seems to go by pretty fast.

[1:13:11] Not because it's good, but it just slips by.

[1:13:14] Well, we're in Final Judgment's territory, so let's just make it official.

[1:13:17] Is this totally terrifying?

[1:13:20] Sorry, we're in Final Judgment's territory.

[1:13:22] We've got to walk softly or else the Final Judgment will find us.

[1:13:27] Where we decide whether this movie was totally

[1:13:29] scarifying, totally snorifying, or frighteningly funny.

[1:13:33] Oh, you remembered them.

[1:13:36] Etched into my brain, Stu.

[1:13:38] And so it sounds like you're saying, Elliot, that it was snorifying,

[1:13:42] but you did not snore.

[1:13:44] It was totally snorifying, but it wasn't snorifying to the point

[1:13:47] where I was like, ugh.

[1:13:48] Instead, it was just like, OK, this is happening.

[1:13:51] It was so like, it felt, aside from the fact that there was, I think,

[1:13:55] swearing sometimes, maybe there even wasn't.

[1:13:57] It felt like a TV movie, to be honest, to me.

[1:14:00] And so it had that kind of like, there's something about a TV movie

[1:14:03] where no matter how dumb it is, you're like, OK, whatever.

[1:14:06] Like, you're just watching it.

[1:14:08] And this is what that felt like to me.

[1:14:10] Yeah, I had the same experience as you.

[1:14:12] I think it was not a good movie, but it went down smooth, as you say.

[1:14:18] Like, it was stupid, but I felt like it moved along quickly.

[1:14:23] And I was, I hesitate to say entertained, but I was diverted.

[1:14:28] Like, I didn't lose track of what was going on or want to fall asleep

[1:14:32] or any of that stuff that sometimes happens when I'm watching a truly bad film.

[1:14:37] I, yeah, I mean, I'm with you guys.

[1:14:39] It's snorifying with light on the snores.

[1:14:43] It, unlike, unlike the last movie we watched where every, let's say,

[1:14:48] two minutes I was checking to see how much time was left in the movie.

[1:14:53] That's because it was presenting you with unholy visions no man should ever lay eyes upon.

[1:15:01] Yeah, this one, this one moved along in a pretty good clip.

[1:15:04] And despite the early death of my boy Ron Ron and the bet money I had to pay you guys

[1:15:12] that I thought he was going to be the one survivor, other than that, yeah, it was fine.

[1:15:18] I listen to reading classes because Bria and Mallory have great tips.

[1:15:28] My suggestion for book festivals is just go for one day.

[1:15:31] I listen for the author interviews.

[1:15:33] I was a huge Goosebumps fan.

[1:15:36] Oh, yeah.

[1:15:38] R.L. Stine was totally my jam.

[1:15:41] I don't even read.

[1:15:42] I just like their chemistry together.

[1:15:43] Literally found the bag and said, like, this book made me shit my pants.

[1:15:46] I'd be like, that's, I'm buying this book.

[1:15:47] Yeah.

[1:15:48] Like, I think the problem with blurbs a lot of times.

[1:15:50] I like that we both want to crap ourselves over books.

[1:15:53] I'm Bria Grant.

[1:15:54] And I'm Mallory O'Mara.

[1:15:55] We're Reading Glasses and we solve all your bookish problems every Thursday on Maximum Fun.

[1:16:02] Shirts, stickers, patches, posters, tote bags, aprons.

[1:16:06] Sure, you might have some of these things already, but do they rep your favorite MaxFun shows?

[1:16:12] We've got brand new items in stock at MaxFunStore.com.

[1:16:15] So why not stock up on gear that shows off the podcast you love?

[1:16:19] MaxFunStore.com.

[1:16:21] It's good stuff.

[1:16:22] We swear.

[1:16:25] So we should move on, though, to our sponsors, our beloved sponsors.

[1:16:30] We do beloved them.

[1:16:31] Yeah.

[1:16:32] Our first sponsor is the movie and book beloved, Tony Morrison's Immortal Story.

[1:16:39] No, our first sponsor is ZipRecruiter.

[1:16:43] ZipRecruiter sends you to, sends your job to over 100 of the web's leading job boards.

[1:16:49] My job?

[1:16:51] Your job?

[1:16:52] Yeah.

[1:16:53] I'm sorry, Stu, that we didn't tell you.

[1:16:54] You're getting let go.

[1:16:56] I mean, I should have seen the writing on the wall.

[1:16:59] But ZipRecruiter doesn't stop there.

[1:17:04] With their powerful recruiting matching technology, ZipRecruiter scans thousands of resumes, to

[1:17:13] find people with the right experience and invite them to apply to your job.

[1:17:16] ZipRecruiter is so effective that 80% of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate

[1:17:23] through the site within the first day.

[1:17:26] And right now, our listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at this exclusive web address,

[1:17:32] ZipRecruiter.com slash Flophouse.

[1:17:34] That's ZipRecruiter.com slash Lophouse.

[1:17:38] ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire.

[1:17:43] Yeah, we did it.

[1:17:44] Yeah.

[1:17:46] So, do I just pack my stuff up?

[1:17:48] Are you going to mail it to me?

[1:17:50] No, we're going to have security escort you out, I'm afraid.

[1:17:53] Okay, that's cool.

[1:17:55] Okay, Archie.

[1:17:56] Sergeant Archie, the police cat.

[1:18:00] You don't have to touch me.

[1:18:01] I'll go on my own.

[1:18:03] Stop touching me.

[1:18:04] Ow!

[1:18:05] Ow!

[1:18:06] Come on, Stuart.

[1:18:07] Keep it meowing.

[1:18:08] Keep meowing along.

[1:18:11] But we also, thank you for ZipRecruiter.

[1:18:13] We also are sponsored in part by Squarespace.

[1:18:16] Squarespace, it's the web design service that allows you to turn your cool idea into a new

[1:18:23] website to showcase your work or perhaps announce an upcoming event or special project

[1:18:28] or use its powerful e-commerce functionality to sell anything online.

[1:18:33] Hey, Dan, that reminds me.

[1:18:34] So e-commerce functionality, I had an idea for a website that I came up with while we're

[1:18:39] talking on the show.

[1:18:40] I was talking about a couple of different role-playing games and they reminded me that

[1:18:44] I have a business I've been thinking about.

[1:18:45] And so I wanted to start a site called www.dungenessanddiapers.com and we sell diapers for crabs.

[1:18:52] Let's just be honest.

[1:18:53] If you have a pet crab, and I know I do, crabs poop everywhere.

[1:18:56] It's very hard to potty train them.

[1:18:58] They can't use the toilet because they'll fall in and drown.

[1:19:01] Crabs hate water.

[1:19:02] Yeah, every time I try to teach my crab the difference between just pooping all over the

[1:19:06] place or pooping in a toilet, it just looks at me with that terrifying set of eyes and

[1:19:11] mouth.

[1:19:12] Yeah, with those beady little eyes and that mouth that shouldn't exist.

[1:19:15] It looks so weird.

[1:19:16] Yeah, a blank stare that says, if I was small enough, it would just devour me.

[1:19:21] Yeah, and so crabs already have diapers.

[1:19:25] They're called shells, but those diapers protect their body.

[1:19:27] It's time for a diaper that protects your carpet from the poop that comes out of a crab.

[1:19:31] So this would be a crab-sized and shaped diaper.

[1:19:35] We have both disposable and reusable and they'd be available on www.dungenessanddiapers.com.

[1:19:43] They aren't just for Dungeness crabs.

[1:19:45] Alaskan King, Alt Fiddler, Alt Hermit, all those kinds you can get diapers for.

[1:19:50] The crab already has a shell on its back, so it kind of poops into that.

[1:19:52] You just need to take it out, clean the poop out every now and then.

[1:19:55] It's not as much of a worry, but you can still get a diaper.

[1:19:57] They look adorable.

[1:19:58] There's a lot of different designs.

[1:20:00] And I was wondering if Squarespace would be able to help me with that site with selling

[1:20:03] these diapers for crabs.

[1:20:05] It certainly can because Squarespace helps you by giving you beautiful templates created

[1:20:12] by world-class designers, free and secure hosting and nothing to patch or upgrade ever.

[1:20:19] Ever Elliot.

[1:20:20] Hold on.

[1:20:21] Let me get this straight.

[1:20:22] No patches and no upgrades because I do have to patch the diapers sometime because crab

[1:20:26] bodies are very sharp and they will poke through those diapers.

[1:20:29] So I'm trying to find a way to get better patches for them.

[1:20:33] Now Elliot, are you nervous about the competition you're going to be having with crab, crab,

[1:20:38] caps?

[1:20:39] The place where you put caps on all the crab crap?

[1:20:41] Yeah, that's I mean, we're hoping that we can maybe coexist in the same ecosystem much

[1:20:46] the same way that many different types of crab will share an ocean, you know, but that's

[1:20:52] always a question.

[1:20:53] That's always a thing.

[1:20:54] I mean, I think what sets us apart and I think you guys have guessed it already.

[1:20:58] Our diapers have six holes for all the legs.

[1:21:02] That is good.

[1:21:03] So as I mentioned, Andy caps, crab, crab, caps, it has the powerful branding of Andy

[1:21:12] cap.

[1:21:13] You might know him from his hot fives, but we've been trying to get a Brenda Starr endorsement

[1:21:19] to make it Brenda Starr's crab diapers, but it's been difficult.

[1:21:23] It's been very difficult.

[1:21:25] The Brenda Starr people do not want to play ball.

[1:21:26] And people assume Starr is starfish, you know, like.

[1:21:29] Exactly.

[1:21:30] It's not a crab.

[1:21:31] I'm sorry, guys.

[1:21:32] For that, you have to go to, you got to go to Starr Ponds who make tampons for sea stars.

[1:21:36] But anyway, Dan, I'm sorry.

[1:21:38] You were talking about Squarespace.

[1:21:40] Well, the one thing I wanted to say to end this baton death march of an advertisement

[1:21:47] is to go to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial and when you're ready to launch,

[1:21:53] use the offer code flop to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or domain.

[1:22:01] That's all we have in terms of sponsors this week.

[1:22:04] Oh, wait, but we've got a couple of things that we should talk about that we're sponsoring

[1:22:08] ourselves.

[1:22:09] All right.

[1:22:10] So we've got two live shows coming up.

[1:22:12] Oh, yeah.

[1:22:13] One in November.

[1:22:14] That's right.

[1:22:15] It's old homes week as Dan and Stu returned to the place where they went from boys to

[1:22:20] men.

[1:22:22] And we're going to be at.

[1:22:23] Oh, just kidding.

[1:22:24] Richmond, Indiana.

[1:22:25] We're going to be at Erlem College Saturday, November 3rd.

[1:22:28] It's part of their artist lecture series.

[1:22:30] We're just going to be but we're not lecturing.

[1:22:31] We're just doing a show and we're going to talk about Jurassic World's fallen kingdom

[1:22:35] and it's going to be super fun.

[1:22:38] We're not going to be the only dinosaurs.

[1:22:41] Oh, no.

[1:22:44] You guys are going to show up wearing your like straw boaters, raccoon coats, your little

[1:22:48] pennants that say Erlem, all that stuff.

[1:22:52] I don't think our friend Stefan dresses like that normally.

[1:22:54] Yeah, that's a joke for no one who listens to the show.

[1:23:00] So if you live in the Indiana area, come on by and see us that Saturday, November 3rd.

[1:23:04] But then in January, oh boy, we're going to be at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

[1:23:09] Let's go Badgers and see us January 26th, 2019.

[1:23:13] We don't know what movie we're going to do yet.

[1:23:14] We haven't decided.

[1:23:15] It's it's far enough in advance.

[1:23:16] So let's just say it's going to be really funny and everybody should come see us.

[1:23:19] Right, guys.

[1:23:20] Yeah.

[1:23:21] Thank you so much for that.

[1:23:22] And I got one more thing.

[1:23:23] I got one more thing to mention.

[1:23:24] Just a personal thing.

[1:23:25] OK.

[1:23:26] It's Shocktober, guys.

[1:23:27] And you know what people love in Shocktober?

[1:23:28] Children's books.

[1:23:29] Hey, so on Shocktober 30th, why don't you go down to your local independent bookstore

[1:23:30] and pick up Horse Meets Dog by me, Ellie Kaelin, and illustrated by Tim Miller.

[1:23:31] It's the story of a horse and a dog and they meet and they do not agree on something.

[1:23:32] It's pretty funny.

[1:23:33] And I'm going to be doing a bunch of live appearances at schools in early November.

[1:23:34] I would advertise it on my website.

[1:23:51] I would advertise them, but it would be weird for Flophause fans to just suddenly show up

[1:23:57] at schools.

[1:23:58] But I'm going to see if I have any store appearances, and maybe I'll mention them next time on The

[1:24:00] Flophouse.

[1:24:01] Good night, everybody.

[1:24:02] OK.

[1:24:03] Bye.

[1:24:04] OK, well, I guess the show's over.

[1:24:05] I mean, just as Ellie left, we could still talk, Dan.

[1:24:09] What's new with you, Baby Blue?

[1:24:10] Baby?

[1:24:11] Did you call me Baby Blue?

[1:24:12] Yeah, I called you Baby Blue.

[1:24:15] I don't know.

[1:24:16] I'm just trying to come up with material, you know?

[1:24:19] I'm just trying to come up with, like, stuff.

[1:24:22] Yeah, stuff to talk about.

[1:24:25] Yeah.

[1:24:26] So what do we do next on the show, Dan?

[1:24:28] Traditionally, this is the point in the show where we answer a few letters from listeners,

[1:24:33] folks who have taken their sweet time to write in.

[1:24:37] And I don't say taking their sweet time in the sense they took a long time.

[1:24:40] That's certainly what it sounded like you were saying.

[1:24:43] Their time is sweet.

[1:24:44] Oh, OK.

[1:24:45] You know, it's...

[1:24:46] It's limited.

[1:24:47] It's limited on this earth.

[1:24:48] So each moment is sweet.

[1:24:49] And they have wasted some of it talking to us.

[1:24:52] Yeah.

[1:24:53] So anyway, that clarification having been made...

[1:25:02] Nice save.

[1:25:03] Nice save.

[1:25:04] It's like, I don't want it to sound like they are lazy.

[1:25:06] So instead, I'll remind them that they're dying.

[1:25:10] Yeah.

[1:25:11] This first letter is from Amy, last name withheld.

[1:25:14] Adams.

[1:25:15] Winehouse.

[1:25:16] Who writes...

[1:25:17] That is spooky.

[1:25:20] So as a child, my favorite movie was Napoleon.

[1:25:23] A charming little number about a puppy walking through the Australian outback

[1:25:27] and meeting a cast of various wild animals.

[1:25:30] It was super charming and everything child me loved.

[1:25:33] The problem is, any time I brought it up by name,

[1:25:36] people assumed I meant Napoleon Dynamite,

[1:25:39] a movie that, frankly, I've never really understood the appeal of.

[1:25:42] My question is this...

[1:25:44] Not that many animals.

[1:25:45] Are there any movies you like but have difficulty expressing fondness for

[1:25:49] because they're overshadowed in some way by a better known movie?

[1:25:52] That's Amy, last name withheld.

[1:25:54] I will say this.

[1:25:55] Amy, I thought you meant Napoleon by Abel Gantz,

[1:25:58] the silent epic about the life of Napoleon.

[1:26:01] I was like, this kid has some pretty highbrow tastes.

[1:26:04] I'm impressed.

[1:26:06] And you were like, that movie has so many animals.

[1:26:09] Yeah, there's tons of animals.

[1:26:11] I feel like that's a dangerous thing to get a kid excited about

[1:26:14] is wandering the Australian outback meeting animals.

[1:26:17] A land known for having deadly critters.

[1:26:20] Not critters from outer space.

[1:26:22] No, no, no, just real animals.

[1:26:23] Well, they're not krites.

[1:26:24] Yeah, krites.

[1:26:25] Now, my brother, I remember him coming home from school one day.

[1:26:28] This is my brother who's three and a half years younger than me

[1:26:30] and they had watched some of Walkabout in a class

[1:26:32] which is also about wandering the Australian.

[1:26:34] And I was like, and he was describing this movie to me

[1:26:36] and I was like, this sounds crazy.

[1:26:38] Did you make this up?

[1:26:39] He's like, this guy takes his kids out to the desert

[1:26:41] and then he tries to kill them and then he kills himself

[1:26:43] and this other kid is walking around with them

[1:26:45] and they didn't have any clothes on.

[1:26:47] And I was like, there's no way they showed you this.

[1:26:49] And years later, I saw Walkabout.

[1:26:50] I was like, why was he watching this at school?

[1:26:52] This is crazy.

[1:26:53] They were showing like,

[1:26:54] there's like an extended nude swimming scene in Walkabout.

[1:26:56] Did they watch the whole fucking thing?

[1:26:58] Featuring the mother superior

[1:27:00] from Call the Midwife of all people.

[1:27:03] Right.

[1:27:05] I like to think of her more as the...

[1:27:07] Pretending to know what you guys are talking about.

[1:27:09] I like to think of her more as the love interest

[1:27:11] from American Werewolf in London, but yes.

[1:27:14] Is that the same person?

[1:27:15] Jimmy Agutter? Yeah.

[1:27:17] Oh, I didn't realize that was her in American Werewolf in London.

[1:27:20] Yeah.

[1:27:21] We all learned something today.

[1:27:23] I hope I answered your question.

[1:27:25] Answering Amy's question.

[1:27:26] Have you guys had that situation?

[1:27:28] This isn't exactly the same, but like

[1:27:30] any time I am telling somebody

[1:27:32] about how much I like

[1:27:34] the British comedy show

[1:27:36] The League of Gentlemen

[1:27:38] people are like,

[1:27:39] oh, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

[1:27:41] And I'm like, no, not the movie.

[1:27:43] Although the comic book's pretty good.

[1:27:47] I don't think I've actually like had

[1:27:49] this experience in conversation,

[1:27:51] but I always do get annoyed when

[1:27:53] a movie has the same title

[1:27:55] as a previous movie that I've liked.

[1:27:57] Just anticipating

[1:27:59] the possible annoyance of it.

[1:28:01] Yeah.

[1:28:03] Like when

[1:28:05] that Lou Ferrell

[1:28:07] soccer comedy.

[1:28:09] When Crash came out, you were like,

[1:28:11] this movie's not supposed to be about racism.

[1:28:13] It's supposed to be about people orgasming during car crashes.

[1:28:15] How dare they? That's right.

[1:28:17] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:28:19] I was going to say, you know,

[1:28:21] there's that Noah Baumbach movie,

[1:28:23] the kicking and screaming

[1:28:25] comedy about college students

[1:28:27] kind of not knowing what they're going to do.

[1:28:29] I feel like comedy is being too nice.

[1:28:31] I find that movie very funny, actually.

[1:28:33] But then there's a

[1:28:35] Will Ferrell family

[1:28:37] quote-unquote comedy

[1:28:39] where I will not use the word

[1:28:41] comedy for that movie,

[1:28:43] about being a soccer coach.

[1:28:45] And it's also called

[1:28:47] Kicking and Screaming. One of them has an ampersand,

[1:28:49] one of them does not.

[1:28:51] I'll take that clarification

[1:28:53] in the course of talking.

[1:28:55] You sound like a jerk.

[1:28:57] Sorry, Stuart.

[1:28:59] Do you think Ladybugs with Ronny Dangerfield and Jonathan Brandes

[1:29:01] was originally called Kicking and Screaming?

[1:29:03] I have to assume so.

[1:29:05] That eliminates the entire

[1:29:07] cross-dressing portion

[1:29:09] of the movie.

[1:29:11] What about She's the Man starring Amanda Bynes?

[1:29:13] Was that originally called Kicking and Screaming?

[1:29:15] What about First Kid?

[1:29:17] Was that originally called Kicking and Screaming?

[1:29:19] Was First Kid originally called Kicking and Screaming?

[1:29:21] Yes.

[1:29:23] I mean, to be fair, the Karate Kid could have been

[1:29:25] called Kicking and Screaming. He kicks and he screams.

[1:29:27] Guys, is every

[1:29:29] movie called Kicking and Screaming?

[1:29:31] I think they might be.

[1:29:33] Except Sidekicks, ironically, with

[1:29:35] Chuck Norris and Jonathan Brandes. Back to Jonathan

[1:29:37] Brandes again. Alright.

[1:29:39] So the next letter is from

[1:29:41] Taylor Lastname Withheld.

[1:29:43] Swift.

[1:29:45] Who has...

[1:29:47] Wait, is that the High Times parody of Taylor Swift?

[1:29:49] I think I stole that joke

[1:29:51] from The Good Place, actually.

[1:29:53] So I guess I'll give

[1:29:55] them ten cents.

[1:29:57] So this, Taylor has...

[1:30:00] four questions they're all sort of related number one why don't you talk

[1:30:06] about terry garr more often number two what are your picks for terry garr's

[1:30:10] best and worst movies number three who was the best recurring guest on

[1:30:15] Letterman in the 80s that's a rhetorical question it was terry garr number four

[1:30:19] this dance whole mildly depressed exasperated manager stick really just a

[1:30:23] brilliant long-form homage to Dave Foley's performances Dave Nelson and

[1:30:26] news radio thanks for all the laughs Taylor okay we got a lot of meat in that

[1:30:32] sandwich I mean I guess you and terry garr is is I think officially retired so

[1:30:37] that's one of the reasons I think we don't talk about her that much she's

[1:30:39] great I love her she's wonderful did somebody pull up her complete

[1:30:45] filmography so we can rate them from best to I've decided that her I don't

[1:30:51] mean to say that as in she's only been in two movies I'm just saying they're

[1:30:54] all probably pretty good I've decided her worst performance is in Aloha

[1:30:58] Scooby-Doo oh okay okay Dan truth or dare did you really see Aloha Scooby-Doo

[1:31:04] no I've never seen Aloha Scooby-Doo oh the truth comes out this game is good

[1:31:09] everything I've seen terry garr and she's been delightful so I had to look

[1:31:13] on the IMDb for something that I would assume was not so I think yeah movie

[1:31:18] with terry garr that I have seen the most is mr. mom okay a movie that for

[1:31:26] whatever reason is very important to me as a real-life mr. mom that's one of

[1:31:36] those doesn't make me it doesn't make me view washing machines as a potential

[1:31:41] foe that's why my clothes are always dirty for her best movie she's not the

[1:31:50] star of it but if you're just looking at movies I think her best movie is

[1:31:53] probably gonna be the conversation which and she does a lot with a with a with a

[1:31:57] supporting part in that and her worst performance is probably as a gar or a

[1:32:05] gharial which is a kind of a thin snouted crocodilian native to like the

[1:32:11] subcontinent of India and whenever I see them at the zoo they're just laying

[1:32:15] about doing a lot of nothing and they look super cool so they should be doing

[1:32:18] fun stuff yeah they have those like long needleknight like snouts right exactly

[1:32:23] yeah perfect for digging into the body of a dead I don't know like elk yeah

[1:32:31] yeah probably yeah like a reindeer maybe you know yeah yeah maybe I can't let

[1:32:40] this go by without mentioning of course she was great and young Frankenstein I

[1:32:45] don't know if I've seen that movie really familiar I'm fucking with I don't

[1:32:48] know she's not a young Einstein what are you talking about this again who serious

[1:32:52] movie everyone's also and also I will mention there was an easy way to get

[1:33:01] truth out of me Dan without even asking me truth or dare she's a relatively

[1:33:04] small part in After Hours which is also very good I thought you were gonna

[1:33:07] mention After Hours I also like that movie a lot and I was like hmm what's

[1:33:11] the most stop making sense II of all the movies that Terry Gar made After Hours I

[1:33:16] love After Hours it's like it captures something about 1980s like the feel of I

[1:33:22] mean I wasn't in New York but like I just feel like I know it based on that

[1:33:26] movie it's just it the feel is so great there's just one thing I don't like in

[1:33:31] that movie it's when he's on his way to the date and he takes out the $120 bill

[1:33:36] in his pocket and decides to put it on the armrest of the door inside the cab

[1:33:40] and then it flies out the window and he's like oh no my money it's like why

[1:33:44] would you do that dude take it out of your pocket count it put it back in your

[1:33:47] pocket like what are you doing come on I actually have never seen After Hours so

[1:33:52] maybe I'll watch it oh I think you'll like a lot it's a fun movie and as to

[1:33:56] whether my persona is a brilliant tribute to Dave from radio truth or dare

[1:34:02] let's just say sure yes can you say that in truth or dare just sure the

[1:34:11] answer is why not now this is a tribute to John Lovett's as the as the liar

[1:34:19] right mm-hmm yeah this next is from Carrie or Carrie I'm sorry for not

[1:34:29] knowing exactly which one it is but she writes and this is late to by the time

[1:34:38] we give her this information this advice it's not gonna be worth anything to her

[1:34:43] unfortunately just move along with this question great yeah that's the flop

[1:34:47] house promise it's like can you wish a birthday for my friend their birthday

[1:34:50] was in July oh it's it's February of the next year so carry your car he writes I

[1:34:58] just found out that I'm going to be directing my first feature film this

[1:35:01] summer well cool that absolutely bonkers and I'm super excited it's an indie

[1:35:06] production with a small cast and we have a pretty solid above-the-line crude

[1:35:09] lined up my main concern is this it's a comedy well I'm a huge longtime fan of

[1:35:15] comedies of all sorts and I've been wanting to get involved in it for as

[1:35:18] long as I can remember I've never actually worked on any sort of

[1:35:21] legitimate comedy projects do you have any advice for someone working on their

[1:35:25] first comedy such as what common mistakes can be avoided how to dodge

[1:35:29] negative stereotypes or any good reading material to study thanks for your help

[1:35:33] in the hours of entertainment carry aka Kari yeah you guys are both

[1:35:38] experienced directors of comedy oh yeah we're gonna see your films all the time

[1:35:43] but seriously you guys are actual comedians so what's your advice yeah I

[1:35:50] figured Elliot would have like some strong feelings about this so that's the

[1:35:53] main reason I bought this okay I've got a couple I've got a couple piece of

[1:35:57] advice I would give take them with a grain of salt because you need salt in

[1:36:01] your diet a certain amount too much is not good for you obviously blood

[1:36:04] pressure and all that you need a little bit of salt that's why elephants are

[1:36:07] always going into caves and just licking salt blocks you need it in your body so

[1:36:11] guys that's my advice salt sorry Angelina Jolie I would say a few things

[1:36:18] one is look at a comedy that you like and see how they do things and kind of

[1:36:23] take it apart look at it scene by scene look at it moment by moment and just

[1:36:26] kind of analyze and study it the way you would analyze anything that you're

[1:36:30] trying to figure out how like as if you're taking a clock apart I do this a

[1:36:33] lot with stuff where I'll look at something and I will literally dissect

[1:36:37] it minute by minute to see how they're using their time and also moment by

[1:36:42] moment to see how scenes are built so I can get a better idea of how to do it

[1:36:46] that being said don't be a slave to any kind of like rules and things on you

[1:36:51] want to you want to keep things loose and funny if something doesn't seem

[1:36:55] funny to you when you're making it it's probably not that funny the thing you

[1:36:58] hear a lot about the movie 1941 is people being like we had all these

[1:37:01] hilarious people working on it no one really thought it was that funny while

[1:37:04] they were making it but they figured it would all cut together funny in the

[1:37:07] studio or in the in the afterwards it didn't so if you don't find it funny

[1:37:12] then like maybe figure out how you want to find it funny and keep things loose

[1:37:16] so that you can keep that kind of comic energy but not so loose that you end up

[1:37:21] with a bunch of Judd Apatow scenes where it's just people rambling on about

[1:37:24] whatever and it doesn't make sense from scene to scene as a movie there was a

[1:37:29] there was a story that was in an interview I read where's Seth Rogen and

[1:37:34] Judd Apatow were talking about knocked up and Seth Rogen was saying how is this

[1:37:37] the one where Seth Rogen was talking about explaining internet pornography to

[1:37:40] Tom Cruise no this is it that's a different story this although that's a

[1:37:45] good story too is that a Jonah Hill was like so in this scene where I'm your

[1:37:49] best friend and you tell me that you just impregnated a woman what's my

[1:37:52] feeling about this how do I react to it he's like let's try it both ways let's

[1:37:56] try it that you like it let's try you don't like let's just be loose with it

[1:37:58] and it's like at that point you don't really have a character or a scene it

[1:38:02] seems to me I could be wrong that was a super successful movie people love it but

[1:38:06] like if you don't know how the kept main characters best friend is gonna react to

[1:38:09] this life-changing news and you might not have a firm grasp on what's going on

[1:38:13] in your movie and the last thing I'm gonna say is if you have any very

[1:38:17] elaborate big moments that require a lot of production they will probably be the

[1:38:23] least funny part of your movie I call this the Caddyshack rule now do I love

[1:38:28] Caddyshack no to be honest it just doesn't really do it for me but there

[1:38:32] are parts of it that are fun I find Caddyshack to be the story of a bunch of

[1:38:35] assholes who just asshole around being jerks and it doesn't really do it for me

[1:38:39] but the funniest parts of Caddyshack are very clearly the parts that Bill Murray

[1:38:44] made up on the spot and the least funny part of Caddyshack is the big boat scene

[1:38:48] where the boats are all crashing into each other which I have to assume was

[1:38:52] the hardest scene to shoot the production probably cost the most amount

[1:38:56] of money and if you cut that scene out of the movie it makes it a better movie

[1:38:59] so if there's a big big big thing that involves a lot of like money and work

[1:39:04] and like the timing being just right just take a look and see is this really

[1:39:09] gonna be that funny when it's put together if we do it do it right cuz we

[1:39:12] might be able to save ourselves a lot of trouble and we'll just put in a scene

[1:39:15] that's a lot funnier of characters interacting with each other because

[1:39:19] what's funnier than characters interacting with each other nothing and

[1:39:22] they know that USA what characters are welcome and at TV is very funny but not

[1:39:26] at TNT where they only know drama mm-hmm that was a pretty concise yeah not at

[1:39:34] all sorry guys do you have anything you wanted you wanted to add Dan uh I mean

[1:39:39] this is kind of going off of what you were saying like I feel like every

[1:39:43] comedy these days has like one or two big set-piece moments and I think that

[1:39:49] that's because that's the way that comedies are sold these days like

[1:39:54] studios want that sort of thing I mean even old comedies have big set-piece

[1:39:58] moments like there's the giant pie

[1:40:00] Fight or the big car chase or going back and it never and I think you're right that that's the scene that you sell like

[1:40:05] This is gonna be in the trailer or something like that and it never really works

[1:40:09] yeah, I mean I would say I

[1:40:11] Would not advise you not to include that just because I think that it's expected, but I will say

[1:40:18] work to make the entire movie funny not just

[1:40:22] Like these set these don't coast on the idea of set pieces

[1:40:25] The ideal comedies for me are things like if you look at the things that Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright wrote together

[1:40:33] they

[1:40:34] Have all these things that pay off in the second half

[1:40:37] But they're built on jokes that work as jokes in the first half

[1:40:41] Like you see these things in the first half and you don't think like oh, that's just something that's gonna pay off later

[1:40:46] You think that's funny and then you're

[1:40:49] secondarily delighted

[1:40:51] Like doubly delighted when it comes up again, and it's a funny

[1:40:55] conclusion to that joke

[1:40:57] some of this advice is like storytelling advice and more on the writing side and less directing but yeah, it's like I

[1:41:04] think the

[1:41:06] Yes, it's I guess trying to make not making people tense is a big part of it

[1:41:10] It's hard to get funny stuff out of people when they're super tense unless the joke is that they're tense

[1:41:14] I guess like I make Dan tense all the time because I think it's very funny

[1:41:18] But if I was making a movie with him, I'd be like a Dan what's wrong?

[1:41:21] Let's let's let's ease up. Let's relax

[1:41:24] Yeah, I

[1:41:25] Put the directing side of stuff. I mean, I'm not a director, but I do feel like a lot of

[1:41:31] Comedies are just sort of directed flat

[1:41:34] You know, I mean like there's not much thought into how the direction can enhance the comedy like where?

[1:41:42] camera placement and

[1:41:46] Editing can juice up things, you know, like

[1:41:51] a

[1:41:52] lot of the a lot of the comedies seem to be like let's just point cameras at funny people and then it'll be fine and

[1:41:59] So it's not a specific note

[1:42:01] But as far as anyone can think like how can I use the elements of storytelling through direction?

[1:42:08] To add to the humor that's always appreciated

[1:42:12] And also this is and this is like, oh, this is something you probably already heard which is like old old stuff. But uh

[1:42:19] That people have said that

[1:42:22] kind of comedy exists in

[1:42:25] at this is kind of against what Dan was just saying, but that comedy but comedy does exists in

[1:42:31] kind of longer takes and

[1:42:34] You know shots where you can see things, you know that like you could kill a joke by cutting it up too much

[1:42:40] There's always like I'm not advocating for editing

[1:42:43] I'm just advocating like make sure that the choices you make are as a director are like

[1:42:49] Yeah comic choices rather than just like I

[1:42:52] Don't know shooting it like any other damn well not being not being afraid to make comic choices for fear of wrecking the comedy

[1:43:00] But the that's like nothing there's if someone falls down on camera, it can be very funny and there's nothing funnier

[1:43:06] There's nothing

[1:43:07] No worse version of that than when there's a lot of cuts like the last funny thing you can do in a movie is to

[1:43:11] Cut in a close-up of someone going. Whoa

[1:43:14] As they're falling down or something like that. So don't do that. Just have things happen

[1:43:19] Yes, like there's a lot I think that there's like in every frame of painting that

[1:43:25] web series thing on this about using direction for comedy and like a lot of that is

[1:43:30] Talking about slapstick and about how like slapstick is best shot like it's a dance sequence, you know

[1:43:37] Just like mount the camera

[1:43:39] Like far enough away so you can see the action and sort of let it let it go loose rather lots of auto-tuning

[1:43:45] Yeah

[1:43:46] Exactly. Yeah, everyone should be wearing laser gloves

[1:43:50] Uh, I don't know how funny any of this is so we should just

[1:43:56] Ask you know, like say that we hope the best for this project that already happened about I hope it went well already happened

[1:44:02] Yeah, we hope it went well

[1:44:04] Right in and tell us what it is

[1:44:06] I'd be curious to know and maybe we'll talk about it on a future episode of the flop house, right Dan

[1:44:12] I hope not. I hope not

[1:44:14] That would be very that would be a sad ending to the story now

[1:44:18] Now that we're done we're done acting like we know what we're doing. What do we do next Dan?

[1:44:22] We're done telling people what to do

[1:44:23] We're done saying to people here do this thing because we think it's the right thing to do

[1:44:27] We're done recommending things to people. So what do we do next on the show Dan?

[1:44:31] We recommend things to people

[1:44:34] Oh

[1:44:39] Specifically movies that we've seen that we think people should watch probably instead of the one that we watched. Mm-hmm

[1:44:46] I'm looking at my just don't want to go. I'm looking at my list of movies

[1:44:49] I've seen because I can't think of one right now. Oh, yeah. Well, I have one queued up Stuart

[1:44:54] Do you want to go first or should I?

[1:44:56] Care man. Okay. Well, I'll just say that I finally got around to watching the duelists Ridley Scott's first movie with

[1:45:03] Keith Carradine and Harvey Keitel

[1:45:06] Gesundheit, which is the story of two officers in Napoleon's army who?

[1:45:10] becomes somewhat obsessed with

[1:45:12] Dueling each other and it starts off as a duel over a stupid thing that one of them calls the other on and then over

[1:45:17] Years and years they are their whole lives are kind of centric around

[1:45:21] These this series of duels where they're each trying to kill each other for reasons that have become

[1:45:27] Cloudier and cloudier as time goes on and it's a really beautiful looking movie. It's really well done

[1:45:31] I liked it a lot and it was nice to see a movie that is in theory

[1:45:36] it's a movie about sword fighting and dueling but felt like it was about these two characters and their relationship and

[1:45:42] How complicated that could be and I really liked it a lot

[1:45:44] So the duelists if you haven't seen it, I recommend it if you have seen it when I watch it again

[1:45:48] If you're Ridley Scott, good job

[1:45:52] Yeah, I

[1:45:56] Recently saw a simple favor, which I liked a lot

[1:45:59] So I'm gonna I guess all I don't want to talk about it too much because I think

[1:46:04] Talking about it kind of ruins some of the fun of the movie

[1:46:06] So I'd recommend going in as cold as you can Anna Kendrick is great in it. Blake Lively is amazing

[1:46:12] It's awesome

[1:46:13] and

[1:46:14] It had it prominently features Blake Lively's husband's brand of gin. So that's cool

[1:46:23] The

[1:46:25] but the movie I'm gonna recommend is

[1:46:27] So, you know how

[1:46:29] You know how like we all have blind spots when it comes to classic movies like foundational films for various genres

[1:46:38] You know, like I'm sure there's classic movies that you've never seen. I think we've probably talked about this on episodes of the flop house

[1:46:44] So I have to admit that I finally got around to watching

[1:46:49] undisputed 3 redemption

[1:46:54] The

[1:46:56] Scott Adkins

[1:46:58] MMA movie set in a prison where the worst prisoners around the world

[1:47:03] compete in a martial arts competition for big bucks and

[1:47:08] It's really great. You don't need to see undisputed 1 or 2, but those are also good

[1:47:13] But undisputed 3 is great because it takes the villain from the second movie and makes him the hero

[1:47:18] played by Scott Adkins his character Boyka and

[1:47:21] Scott Adkins has an ability like for a guy who is basically like I guess the modern

[1:47:27] Jean-claude Van Damme, he has an ability to play these like

[1:47:31] Grumpy brooding characters that in no way are like fun

[1:47:38] But it there's like a charm to a guy who is like just an asshole jerk who is also

[1:47:44] very good at kickboxing and

[1:47:47] It also manages to work pretty well as a love story between

[1:47:51] His character Boyka and the American competitor turbo

[1:47:55] It's a they seem to share like a friendship that borders on love affair that never actually is consummated or

[1:48:02] Addressed in any way, but it like it really feels like it's there, you know, and it's kind of great

[1:48:08] So yeah, like I feel like at the end boykas learned to love a little bit as well as learned how to

[1:48:13] beat the shit out of a dude

[1:48:16] So, I mean, I guess he already knew that but yeah, so undisputed 3 redemption

[1:48:21] I feel like I'm probably late late to the game here guys

[1:48:29] Because it is Shocktober, I'm gonna recommend a horror movie

[1:48:32] It's sort of a limited recommendation, but I did enjoy it. It's called what keeps you alive and it's streaming right now. It's about

[1:48:41] this married a couple of women go to a cabin and

[1:48:46] out to the woods and

[1:48:51] Cabin in the woods Pacific

[1:48:54] If they're Dan there weren't tarps involved there are no sex tarps Stuart. It's not that kind of movie

[1:49:00] It's just I don't want to talk about it because there's the trail and there's like it's all about how unknowable

[1:49:07] Your partner is you know how there's you can't always be

[1:49:12] 100% percent sure about anyone else and whether they might wish you harm or not

[1:49:18] It's kind of like V where you can't you never know if somebody actually is like a lizard person who eats rats exactly

[1:49:24] It's like a movie version of Billy Joel's the stranger

[1:49:29] Yeah, and that's what inspired that book, right

[1:49:35] Yeah, Camus was like is true we all wear a mask some is silk and some are leather

[1:49:41] it's a

[1:49:43] one of these movies where like to some degree you have you get

[1:49:48] You lose sympathy for the hero because they make some dumb choices in the movie and you're like come on

[1:49:53] Like it's hard in horror movies. Sometimes you're like

[1:49:57] That's you're just and are they like dumb choices where you're?

[1:50:00] Like, you know drinking too much the night before a big project is going to make you

[1:50:05] feel bad.

[1:50:06] Exactly.

[1:50:07] You're not going to be top of your game.

[1:50:08] Or is it like, don't open that door because you shouldn't look in the basement because

[1:50:13] children shouldn't play with dead things.

[1:50:16] Yeah, children shouldn't play with dead things, certainly.

[1:50:21] I was trying to think of another weird title to a horror movie.

[1:50:26] Like the only thing I came up with was Who Slew Auntie Rue.

[1:50:30] That's a horror movie?

[1:50:31] Oh, I've seen that movie, yeah.

[1:50:34] What's wrong with Helen?

[1:50:35] What's another one like that?

[1:50:36] It's not an imperative statement.

[1:50:38] No, that's true.

[1:50:40] Get out!

[1:50:41] Has anyone used that for a movie title?

[1:50:43] Yeah, there you go.

[1:50:44] What about Don't Leave?

[1:50:45] But What Keeps You Alive?

[1:50:47] What Keeps You Alive is very stylish, so that speaks well to it.

[1:50:52] It's got a lot of beautiful shots.

[1:50:53] So that's kind of what it coasts along on a little bit.

[1:50:57] But if you're looking for a horror movie, You Could Do Worse.

[1:51:00] It's streaming right now.

[1:51:01] You could do worse, raves Dan McCoy.

[1:51:04] Well, the thing that I saw recently that I really loved is outside of our purview.

[1:51:08] I went and saw My Fair Lady at Lincoln Center with Lauren Ambrose, who will be in the role

[1:51:13] until the end of October.

[1:51:15] So if you live in the New York area and you want to really enjoy yourself, go out and

[1:51:20] see that.

[1:51:21] Buckle your seatbelts.

[1:51:22] It's a scarifying adventure.

[1:51:24] Yeah.

[1:51:25] Oh boy.

[1:51:26] It's the story of one woman being terrorized by her vocal teacher.

[1:51:32] Yep.

[1:51:33] But anyway, that was a delight.

[1:51:39] My Fair Lady.

[1:51:40] That's my recommendation.

[1:51:41] Okay.

[1:51:42] So Dan's October recommendation, a stage production of My Fair Lady.

[1:51:47] I guess run, don't walk to the airport to get to New York City to see My Fair Lady.

[1:51:55] And if you're listening to this after the run has ended, you snoozed and you loosed.

[1:52:00] You snossed and you lost.

[1:52:01] That's the way it works.

[1:52:02] That's the way the cookie crumbles.

[1:52:04] I'm E.L. Pillsbury.

[1:52:05] Good night, everybody.

[1:52:06] So what do we do now, boy?

[1:52:10] Speaking of good night, everybody, we should sign off.

[1:52:14] Hey.

[1:52:15] Yep.

[1:52:16] Hey, this is a MaxFun production over at MaxFun Studios.

[1:52:20] So listen to some MaxFun podcasts, dude.

[1:52:22] That's what I was exactly going to say.

[1:52:23] There's a lot of great MaxFun podcasts out there.

[1:52:25] Listen to them.

[1:52:26] Find the ones you like and subscribe to them and then maybe review them on iTunes.

[1:52:29] Review us on iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

[1:52:31] Tweet about us.

[1:52:32] Use the hashtag Flophouse.

[1:52:33] All those things.

[1:52:34] Dan, what were you going to say?

[1:52:35] Yeah.

[1:52:36] If you like movies and podcasts, there's a ton of great movie-related content on MaxFun

[1:52:39] like Switchblade Sisters.

[1:52:41] Who Shot Ya.

[1:52:42] Who Shot Ya.

[1:52:43] What's Ben and John and –

[1:52:46] I don't care.

[1:52:47] What I was going to plug was that –

[1:52:49] Friendly fire is what it's called.

[1:52:51] Yeah, it's not important.

[1:52:52] Yeesh.

[1:52:53] Speaking of MaxFun podcasts –

[1:52:54] Or maybe you just want straight-up comedy.

[1:52:56] Beef and Dairy Network.

[1:52:57] Lots of great MaxFun podcasts out there.

[1:52:58] Dan, what were you going to say?

[1:52:59] Oh, for fuck's sake.

[1:53:01] Speaking of MaxFun podcasts, if you like this one, Elliot and I were on Jordan & Jesse

[1:53:06] Go just recently.

[1:53:07] Why not look that up?

[1:53:09] I think the episode is entitled Fart Me to the Moon.

[1:53:12] Yeah.

[1:53:13] So you know what you're getting.

[1:53:15] Exactly.

[1:53:16] But –

[1:53:17] People made a point to tell me how great that episode was and how great you were on it.

[1:53:22] I'm like, yeah, they're usually better when they have comedy guys.

[1:53:26] Oh, no, Stuart.

[1:53:27] I don't know about that.

[1:53:28] I get it, okay?

[1:53:29] No, no.

[1:53:30] And then I just started drinking and I never stopped.

[1:53:35] It's true.

[1:53:36] Stuart has one of those beer hats on, but it's just two bottles of tequila.

[1:53:41] Anyway, Stuart just agreed with that, so we should move on.

[1:53:45] Thank you for explaining what mm-hmm means.

[1:53:47] It's my extensive improv training.

[1:53:51] It's not so much yes and as mm-hmm.

[1:53:55] No, it's the Dan McCoy method.

[1:53:56] Anyway, we should sign off and say we're having a lovely Shocktober.

[1:54:02] We look forward to another Shocktober episode next time, but for now, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:54:07] I'm Stuart Wellingtown.

[1:54:09] And I'm Elliot Kaelin, author of Horse Meets Dog, October 30th.

[1:54:12] Buy it at your local bookstore.

[1:54:14] Bye.

[1:54:15] See ya.

[1:54:22] 9. ABC always be counting.

[1:54:26] IBS, irritable bowel syndrome.

[1:54:28] Okay.

[1:54:29] You got any more?

[1:54:30] ABC already been chewed.

[1:54:33] Okay.

[1:54:34] TBS, America's Super Station.

[1:54:38] Yeah.

[1:54:41] TYT, pretty young thing.

[1:54:43] Maximumfun.org

[1:54:45] Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

[1:54:47] Listener supported.

Ep #268 - Truth or Dare

Chapters

Transcript

Description