Ep #269 - Friend Request

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss friend request.

Stuart Wellington

[0:04] Evil is trending.

Dan McCoy

[0:07] Why did you do that?

[0:09] That was just the tagline for the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[0:10] It's just the tagline.

[0:11] That's not a joke.

[0:12] That's...

[0:30] Hey, everyone.

Dan McCoy

[0:39] Welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:40] I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[0:41] Oh, hey, guys.

[0:41] I'm Stuart the Man Wellington.

[0:45] And this is Elliot, the boy Kalen.

[0:47] Wait.

Elliott Kalan

[0:47] Are you rethinking your nickname that you gave yourself?

Stuart Wellington

[0:51] The Man?

[0:52] Yeah.

[0:53] Let me do this again.

[0:55] And I'm Stuart...

[0:55] I mean, I don't see...

[0:57] I'm Stuart the Stuart Wellington.

Dan McCoy

[1:00] Oh, there you go.

[1:01] Yeah.

[1:01] I feel like you took a step backwards with that one.

[1:04] I mean, but it's a very accurate nickname, and that's what we look for in nicknames, is accuracy.

[1:08] Uh-huh.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08] That's very true.

[1:09] Old blue eyes.

[1:10] His eyes were blue, and he got old.

[1:12] Yeah.

[1:12] Very accurate.

[1:13] Yeah.

[1:14] Uh-huh.

[1:14] Jolten Joe DiMaggio.

[1:15] He could shoot electricity from his fingers.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17] That would make people jolt.

[1:18] Uh-huh.

[1:19] And he loved Jolt Cola.

[1:20] That's also part of it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22] And Bruce Springsteen does employ people, I think.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25] Yeah, I think he does.

[1:26] And A-Rod, he has rods and cones in his eyes, like we all do.

[1:30] I guess he could be called A-Cone as well.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32] Mm-hmm.

[1:32] I don't know why they're just singling one rod out specifically, but maybe I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38] Well, I think because they want to emphasize the fact that he has good nighttime vision.

[1:42] Oh, okay.

[1:42] As opposed to his cones, which would handle color.

Stuart Wellington

[1:45] Oh, okay.

[1:45] I didn't know that.

[1:47] So, welcome to the Flophouse.

[1:48] We talk about eyeballs and stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[1:51] Yeah, this has been the Opthouse, the optometry podcast.

[1:54] Join us next time when we ask better one or better two.

[1:59] Oh.

[1:59] Better now or better now.

[2:02] Is that a-

[2:03] Better this?

Dan McCoy

[2:04] Is that a glasses joke?

[2:05] Or better this?

[2:07] You with your perfect vision.

[2:09] Uh-huh.

[2:09] Don't understand these hilarious jokes.

[2:12] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[2:12] So, when you go to the glasses doctor, Stuart, they show you to see if you need glasses.

Dan McCoy

[2:17] What is a glasses doctor called?

Elliott Kalan

[2:20] It's called a glassometrist.

[2:22] Okay, cool.

[2:23] Or glass oculist.

[2:24] I'm sorry.

[2:25] And what they do is they show you imperceptibly different blurry images and ask you which one

[2:31] looks better.

[2:31] And half the time you're like, I don't know.

[2:33] I guess the second one, I don't really remember.

[2:36] At least that's my experience.

Stuart Wellington

[2:38] I feel like the ideal optometrist test is just seeing if you can tell if there's motion

[2:45] smoothing on the TV or not.

Elliott Kalan

[2:48] I mean, that detects the age of the viewer.

[2:50] Exactly.

[2:51] How about the eyes?

[2:53] The ideal optometry visit would be if you go to that guy who makes eyeballs in Blade

[2:57] Runner and he just gives you some perfect eyes, just sticks them in your head.

[2:59] Uh-huh.

Dan McCoy

[3:01] Yeah.

[3:02] That'd be awesome.

Elliott Kalan

[3:03] You gotta get there before Roy Batty kills him.

Dan McCoy

[3:05] Oh, okay.

[3:06] Is that what they say in the advertisement?

[3:08] Like, come on down before Roy Batty kills him.

Elliott Kalan

[3:11] On the door, it says hours.

[3:13] Opens, 9 a.m.

[3:14] Closes when Roy Batty kills me.

Stuart Wellington

[3:16] But if you get there afterwards, there's a pretty decent chance he's gonna just do some

[3:20] sweet-ass improv riffing.

[3:23] On space shit, and you're like, what?

Dan McCoy

[3:26] This is crazy.

Stuart Wellington

[3:28] Is this for like an album or something?

Dan McCoy

[3:33] Okay.

[3:34] So this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[3:38] Oh, yeah.

[3:38] And we're right smack dab in the middle of the most exciting time of the year.

Elliott Kalan

[3:43] As you can tell from Dan's general energy level.

[3:46] Most exciting time of the year.

Dan McCoy

[3:48] Shocktober, where we watch shockingly scary movies.

[3:53] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[3:54] If you couldn't tell, Elliot, when I got here, Dan was passed out on his bathroom floor just

[3:58] wearing his cowboy boots.

[4:00] Oh, boy.

[4:01] And I had to dust him off, put his hat on, shove him full of steroids, and push him out

[4:05] on stage.

[4:06] Oh, boy.

[4:07] We call that an inner space.

[4:08] Yeah.

[4:09] When you're just wearing underpants and cowboy boots.

[4:12] Oh, wait.

[4:12] Hold on there, Elliot.

[4:14] I didn't say nothing about underpants.

[4:16] Oh, boy.

[4:18] You thrust me out on stage.

[4:19] Wait.

[4:19] You thrust me out on stage wearing nothing but my cowboy boots?

[4:22] Too hot for TV, guys.

Dan McCoy

[4:26] Well, thank God we're on the podcast waves then.

Elliott Kalan

[4:29] Yeah.

[4:29] And what's weird is that you shoved him out on stage for a TED Talk.

[4:33] Yep.

[4:34] And very difficult to do those when you're not wearing pants.

[4:37] For the obvious reason that your TED Talk was about the importance of pants.

Stuart Wellington

[4:40] Yeah.

[4:40] And the audience was very unhappy, mainly because they expected to see Teddy Ruxpin.

[4:47] The ultimate TED Talk.

[4:51] How many people do you think go to those things and just walk away fucking pissed?

[4:56] Because they're like, there was no talking bear.

Elliott Kalan

[4:58] I'm going to put that number in the low once.

[5:03] I'm going to underestimate as hard as possible what that number is.

[5:07] But maybe someone.

Stuart Wellington

[5:08] But you're still saying above zero, which means my speculation actually works.

Elliott Kalan

[5:13] I'm going to take a quick moment before we talk about this episode's a bad movie to mention

[5:16] a Teddy Ruxpin-related story.

[5:18] Okay.

[5:18] But my wife was taking my son to the Autry Museum here in Los Angeles, which is a great

[5:24] museum of the American West.

[5:25] And they used to have an exhibit about toys that was up, a temporary exhibit.

[5:28] And one day they didn't realize when they went that the voice of Teddy Ruxpin was going

[5:32] to be there, ostensibly promoting the new Teddy Ruxpin doll.

[5:35] But he was making like a personal appearance.

[5:37] And she said there were a bunch of guys in like their early 20s.

[5:40] So kind of too young to really have a Teddy Ruxpin doll when they were kids who knew everything

[5:45] about Teddy Ruxpin.

[5:46] And we're like peppering this guy with very specific questions about Teddy Ruxpin.

[5:51] And it opened up a whole new world of fandom that I didn't even know existed.

[5:55] That's great.

Dan McCoy

[5:57] I just want to know what these sorts of questions were.

Stuart Wellington

[6:00] I'm sure Danielle approached these young men and were like, hey, would you like a babysitting

[6:05] job?

[6:05] I have two children that you probably will do horrible things.

[6:09] I'm just joking.

[6:10] I'm not.

[6:11] I don't want to deride Teddy Ruxpin fans.

Elliott Kalan

[6:14] Oh, no.

[6:14] But you're fine making a joke about horrible things happening to my children.

Stuart Wellington

[6:20] Well, let's talk about horrible things happening to children in the movie Friend Request.

Elliott Kalan

[6:24] Friend Request.

[6:25] So, Dan, tell us.

[6:26] This is Shocktober and we watch scary movies.

[6:28] Why?

[6:28] Why this month in particular?

Dan McCoy

[6:31] Halloween?

[6:33] Seems pretty self-evident.

Elliott Kalan

[6:36] You know what?

[6:36] I feel bad that October gets totally judged by this one holiday.

[6:40] He's like, I'm scary for one day and suddenly I'm the scary month.

[6:46] You don't call April tax month and that's pretty scary.

[6:49] Am I right?

[6:50] We don't call July independence month.

[6:53] And that's scary for, I guess, the people who lived here before the colonists came in.

[6:56] So, why am I just the scary month?

[6:59] And what would you say to October to kind of make them feel better?

Stuart Wellington

[7:00] I'd be like, just chill out, dude.

[7:03] What's wrong?

[7:04] What crawled up your butt and died?

Dan McCoy

[7:08] I mean, October, I feel like October is leading the pack when you, you know, in informal polls of everyone's favorite month,

[7:16] I feel like October is always right up there.

[7:19] So, I think that October should just get over fucking self.

[7:22] All right?

Elliott Kalan

[7:23] Wow.

[7:23] Oh, that was very, it felt like you were really puffing them up and then you brought some tough love at the end.

Stuart Wellington

[7:28] Yeah, it sounds like we both, we met vinegar with more vinegar on that one.

Elliott Kalan

[7:33] And the flies were like, no, thank you.

[7:36] So, okay, this movie, Friend Request, this is a movie that I'm just going to say right off the bat,

[7:42] Dan and I have a disagreement about how much this movie is similar to the last movie we did, Blumhouse's Truth or Dare.

[7:48] But you, audience, you be the judge.

[7:51] Hey, we report, you decide.

[7:53] So, let's, should we just dive into Friend Request?

[7:55] Sure.

[7:56] The totally original story of a story we've never seen before.

[7:59] I didn't say that.

Stuart Wellington

[8:01] It's clearly cobbled together from a bunch of horror.

[8:03] Dan thinks of this story sprung whole cloth out of Zeus's skull.

Elliott Kalan

[8:08] Yeah, Dan was like, how is everyone talking?

[8:10] Never before seen.

[8:11] Dan was like, how come everybody was going on and on about Get Out?

[8:14] When Friend Request is really the original horror story of the decade.

[8:17] But you'll be the judge.

[8:19] And so, we open.

Stuart Wellington

[8:20] And let's specify, there's like a zillion fucking friend requests, right?

Dan McCoy

[8:24] Yeah.

[8:25] Yes.

[8:26] There's like five movies on IMDb with the same name.

[8:29] So, which one did we fucking watch?

[8:33] We watched the one that came out in 2017.

[8:35] That's the easiest way to.

Elliott Kalan

[8:37] This is the one, it was, I think, a German production in South Africa.

[8:40] It was shot in South Africa, but they did it in English because the actors were English.

[8:44] And so, that's, I'm going to look up.

[8:46] It's directed by Simon Verhoeven, who is the son of a director named Verhoeven, but not Paul Verhoeven, who is not German, but is what, Dutch?

[8:54] Yes.

[8:55] So, and it's the one that stars Alicia Debnam Carey.

[8:59] Okay.

[8:59] And a bunch of other people.

Stuart Wellington

[9:01] Uh-huh.

[9:02] Okay.

[9:03] That's, so just look for a movie that stars a bunch of other people.

Dan McCoy

[9:07] A movie that stars worldwide.

[9:08] So, this movie is not Super Honor, which has one cast member.

[9:11] Superstar, Alicia Debnam Carey.

Stuart Wellington

[9:13] She's on TV, right?

[9:14] I have no idea.

[9:15] Probably.

[9:16] Isn't, there's somebody in there named William Mosley, and I was, I had him confused with Bill Mosley from the Rob Zombie movies.

[9:25] That's sad.

[9:26] Yeah.

[9:27] Very different.

[9:27] It's not that guy.

Elliott Kalan

[9:28] Yeah.

[9:29] He's on TV, too.

[9:29] So, anyway, so it's the 2017 friend, or, well, 2016, came out in America in 2017, friend request.

[9:37] From Entertainment Studios.

[9:43] According to Wikipedia.

[9:45] From, you'll like this movie studios.

[9:47] I mean, it's, or if you want to look for the one that's from Vitamin and Berg Film, that's also the same one.

[9:54] So, friend request.

[9:55] We start in, in academia res.

[9:58] Okay.

[9:59] Oh.

[9:59] As a college class gets told by their teacher that a student, a classmate of theirs, Marina.

Stuart Wellington

[10:05] The thing for me is I'm like, is this guy a student or a teacher?

[10:09] Because he's fucking cool with his leather jacket, right?

Elliott Kalan

[10:13] I mean, but he's clearly in his 50s or 60s.

[10:16] So, unless this is a back-to-schools type scenario, or, like.

[10:19] I don't know.

[10:20] He didn't, I couldn't take my eyes off that jacket, guys.

[10:23] Okay.

[10:24] Well, a teacher, a cool psychology teacher in a leather jacket and an accent, which I'm guessing is German,

[10:29] tells a bunch of students that their classmate, Marina, committed suicide and uploaded a video of it via webcam to the school's servers.

[10:38] And that anyone caught sharing that video will be suspended, and we zoom in tight on the face of one student in particular, Laura Woodson, who is shocked by the news.

[10:47] Flashback to two weeks earlier, as the titles tell us, where we're introduced to Laura.

[10:51] She is your average brunette college student.

[10:53] She leads a very active social media life.

Dan McCoy

[10:55] I thought you were going to say, she leads a very brunette life.

Elliott Kalan

[10:59] I mean, she does lead a very brunette life in that she does, in movies like this, brunettes are the ones who do community service.

[11:04] Yeah.

[11:04] And, you know, have, I don't know, boyfriends.

[11:08] Jogging, jogging and stuff.

[11:10] She loves jogging.

[11:11] Her main character point that we know is that she loves jogging.

[11:14] It's meant she posts.

Stuart Wellington

[11:16] It means that she's like running to something.

[11:18] She's got a goal in sight, and she's trying to get there.

[11:20] Or running from something.

[11:22] Wow, that's the duality of jogging.

Elliott Kalan

[11:25] Perhaps the, she is, she's running, she posts at one point that her dad would be, you know, such and such year's age if he was alive today.

[11:32] So just like in Truth or Dare, a movie that this is nothing like.

[11:37] There's a brunette and a blonde, and one of the two women has a dead dad.

[11:41] But that's not really a plot point.

[11:42] It never comes up again.

[11:43] It's almost like they just put it in to be like Blumhouse's Truth or Dare.

Stuart Wellington

[11:46] It is kind of important, though, for the listeners at home that have that spreadsheet that they're filling out that is similarities with Blumhouse's Truth or Dare or.

Elliott Kalan

[11:55] Or not.

[11:55] The Venn diagram, yeah.

[11:57] For anyone playing Shocktober 2018 bingo at home, that's when you want to put a piece on.

[12:01] Yeah.

[12:01] And she's very popular.

[12:02] She has 840 Facebook friends.

[12:04] More than that.

[12:05] It's crazy.

[12:06] That's a lot.

Stuart Wellington

[12:07] Dan, did you, did you, you got your, your, your friend total on Facebook so you can make Laura look stupid?

[12:14] I don't have it ready right now, Stu.

Dan McCoy

[12:16] Okay, why don't you cook that up?

[12:17] I'll cook it up while you guys are.

Elliott Kalan

[12:20] And you got your classic friend group.

[12:22] There's brunette girl, blonde girl, and other girl.

[12:24] And each of them has a boyfriend.

Stuart Wellington

[12:27] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[12:28] And, but one day in class.

Stuart Wellington

[12:31] And they live in, they live in like a nice, what, on-campus housing type situation?

[12:36] I can't tell if it's a dorm.

Elliott Kalan

[12:38] I think they're in an apartment that's slightly off campus.

[12:41] That's my guess.

[12:42] All right.

[12:42] Because when we see, when we see campus housing later, there's a, there's a single, which is very hard to get, at least at the school I went to, NYU.

[12:48] Singles were highly coveted.

[12:50] And they share, it's three of them, and I think they might mention rent at one place.

[12:54] I'm not, I'm not sure.

[12:55] Maybe there's, maybe it's just a really nice dorm.

[12:56] Apparently it was shot at the University of South Africa, which looks really nicely appointed.

[13:01] Yeah.

[13:02] Okay.

[13:03] But there's this new, there's this new classmate.

Stuart Wellington

[13:04] I mean, outside of the inevitable deaths, it seems like a great school to go to.

[13:09] And they're like weirdly harsh social media rules.

Elliott Kalan

[13:13] I mean, to be fair, they are trying to protect people from posting videos of suicides.

[13:17] So I understand why they don't want students doing that.

Stuart Wellington

[13:19] But they are supernatural suicides, right?

Elliott Kalan

[13:23] We'll get to that.

[13:24] We'll get to that.

Stuart Wellington

[13:25] Natural suicides.

Elliott Kalan

[13:25] Oh, the suicide was supernatural.

[13:28] It was all biodegradable.

[13:29] Yeah.

[13:30] It was all, there were no chemicals involved.

[13:31] Anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[13:32] I mean.

[13:32] We shouldn't be.

[13:33] Should we up front talk about, this movie deals with suicide fairly flippantly.

[13:39] And we're going to make jokes.

[13:40] But we, I don't know, we don't think it's a silly subject at all.

[13:44] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[13:44] I mean, well, let's, I mean, like they're not real suicides because they're being forced on

[13:50] them by a demonic force.

[13:52] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[13:52] And one of them is part of a magical ritual.

[13:54] So we can say that the, we would say that this is not really a movie about suicide, as we'll

[14:00] find out.

[14:00] Yeah.

[14:00] But we also, I think Stuart, that's a good point to make that we don't want to make light

[14:04] of that.

[14:04] That's a terrible thing.

[14:05] And I think we're on the record previously as expressing our own sensitivity about it.

[14:10] So let's, we won't get into that too much.

[14:13] So let me explain.

[14:14] And we're now, I've been trying to get into, I think, minute seven of the movie.

[14:18] And I'll try, I'd like to plow forward and introduce the villain of the piece, Marina.

[14:24] Or as she puts it on her Facebook page, Ma Space Rina, which makes no sense.

[14:29] She's a Star Wars character, right?

[14:31] Yeah, I guess so.

[14:33] And she's one of these like, you know, dark brooding girls, which you know, because she

[14:37] wears a hoodie.

[14:38] Because in this movie, hoodie becomes the supernatural language for like possessed by a demon or evil.

[14:45] Just like in Blumhouse's Truth or Dare, where someone who is playing Truth or Dare and a

[14:49] demon possess them is also wearing a hoodie when they weren't wearing a hoodie before.

[14:52] So mark that on the bingo board.

[14:53] Anyway, she sends a friend request to Laura and she's a, Laura investigates her Facebook

[14:59] page.

[14:59] She's a very talented animator and artist, but her work has a certain Tim Burton-y sensibility,

[15:04] let's just say.

Dan McCoy

[15:05] Well, it's more of like, yeah, the ring sensibility.

Elliott Kalan

[15:09] Yeah, I guess it's like a whole Facebook full of the rings or like maybe she's just really

[15:13] big on the Quay Brothers animation.

Stuart Wellington

[15:15] And I love is it like, that's a pretty well curated Facebook page.

[15:20] Like, oh, yeah, there is literally nothing on there that doesn't fit that theme.

Elliott Kalan

[15:26] She's very on message.

[15:27] And maybe that's why she has zero friends on her Facebook page.

[15:29] Yeah.

[15:30] Putting all this work into putting these elaborate.

Stuart Wellington

[15:33] I feel like she would have to actively like weed out bots and shit if she wanted to stay at

[15:38] zero friends.

[15:39] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[15:39] Yeah.

[15:40] Every day she checks for bots trying to sell sunglasses to her or sway her vote and then

[15:44] she has to remove them.

[15:47] So her friend, Laura's friends think Marina's weird.

[15:50] And Marina has put up a cartoon specifically of a dream she had about a spooky woods where

[15:54] there's a mirror attached to a tree.

[15:56] Ooh.

[15:57] And Laura's intrigued.

[15:58] And she talks to Marina and they become friends.

[16:00] She accepts that friend request.

[16:02] Seems like a nice thing to do.

[16:03] But as we learned from No Good Deed, No Good Deed goes unpunished.

[16:08] Even though in that movie.

Stuart Wellington

[16:09] That's what I walked away with.

Elliott Kalan

[16:12] Except even though in that movie it was actually not a good deed that went punished, but in

[16:15] fact a plan ahead of time to hurt a specific person.

[16:18] Which one was No Good Deed?

[16:20] With Idris Elba where the woman lets Idris Elba into her home to use her phone and he

[16:26] Was that obsession?

[16:29] No, obsession was the one where Idris Elba is married to Beyonce and is it Ali Larder

[16:34] is trying to steal him from Beyonce?

[16:36] Yeah, and arms grow super long.

[16:39] Even at the time it seemed weird, but now the very idea of a movie where someone's married

[16:43] from Beyonce and another woman is like, yeah, I think I can pull him away.

Stuart Wellington

[16:47] The level of hubris is astounding.

Elliott Kalan

[16:51] Like that is a real, your arms are too short to box with God scenario.

[16:56] I mean, which I guess is, I mean, Jay-Z is not, from what I remember from the gossip trades,

[17:00] is not particularly faithful.

[17:02] So maybe I'm overestimating.

[17:04] But anyway.

[17:05] So, and if I'm wrong, don't sue me for defamation.

[17:09] I'm just, I got that from a blind item.

[17:11] It said, it said, what one letter last named rapper was seen not with his queen of a wife?

[17:18] Yeah, yeah.

[17:18] I was like, I don't know who this could be.

[17:20] So anyway.

[17:21] Caught canoodling.

[17:24] No one is ever canoodling and not caught.

[17:26] So I guess if you don't want to get caught, don't canoodle.

[17:28] You know?

Stuart Wellington

[17:29] Yeah.

[17:30] It's the alliteration.

[17:30] The alliteration is just too tempting for gossip writers.

Elliott Kalan

[17:34] And, but she, she befriends Marina, but Marina keeps bugging Laura, pun very much intended,

[17:40] because later Marina is surrounded by clouds of wasps all the time.

[17:43] Okay.

[17:44] Marina just keeps bothering her.

[17:45] She comments on every one of Laura's posts.

[17:47] She's Photoshopping herself into pictures of Laura, which is weird.

[17:50] And they look at Marina's older posts.

[17:52] Again, like we said, there's all these,

[17:53] these ring you type videos everywhere.

[17:55] You got your satanic scarred pregnant bellies.

[17:58] You got corpses.

[17:58] You got feet stepping on dolls heads.

[18:00] The whole kit ends caboodle canoodle.

[18:02] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[18:02] And there's later on, we realized she has pictures of like swollen wasp stung child corpses that

[18:10] were like kids.

[18:11] She magically killed.

[18:13] Yes.

[18:14] Like that's wild, dude.

[18:15] And she threw it through like a black and white filter.

[18:18] Look.

[18:18] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:19] Yeah.

[18:20] The filter worked, but two, let's just say we all know that Facebook has not been

[18:23] keeping up to its terms of service and the rules on what is allowed and what's not allowed

[18:27] on.

[18:27] It's like, they're like, well, we want to kick off Marina's video of kids, mutilated kids

[18:33] that she killed.

[18:34] But we also want to be a platform for free speech.

[18:37] And who are we to judge what's acceptable speech or not?

Stuart Wellington

[18:41] Yeah.

[18:41] That's Facebook.

[18:42] Yeah.

[18:42] They're like, something happened.

[18:44] Your feed got filled with all these creepy pics.

Elliott Kalan

[18:47] Wouldn't it be amazing if Facebook's algorithm was just like, yeah, sure.

[18:50] Why not?

[18:51] Let's just throw it out there.

[18:52] And suddenly everyone's mom was getting, it was getting these videos in their feeds.

Stuart Wellington

[18:56] That are, as we mentioned, very well animated.

Elliott Kalan

[18:59] Oh, yeah.

[19:00] I mean, she has real talent.

[19:01] That's the thing.

[19:01] She's at the wrong school.

[19:03] She should be at like CalArts.

[19:04] She should be at like RISD, maybe Savannah.

[19:07] Like, she would be very well accepted there.

[19:09] I don't know why she's at the school for kids who like to party and jog.

[19:14] It doesn't make sense.

[19:15] Because she's not going to get invited to those parties, such as Laura's birthday party.

[19:20] Her friends tell her, why'd you invite Marina to your birthday party?

[19:22] You should disinvite her.

[19:24] And Laura's like, I'm not actually going to have a party.

[19:26] But Marina knows that's a lie because someone posts about it on Facebook.

Stuart Wellington

[19:30] Well, well, well.

[19:32] It seems your best friend Facebook has become your greatest betrayer, Laura.

Elliott Kalan

[19:36] Hoist on your own face card.

[19:39] And Marina somehow fucked.

Stuart Wellington

[19:41] I do like the party.

[19:42] It's the like classic teens having the like, we're going to live forever party.

[19:46] And you're like, oh, you guys aren't going to live forever.

Elliott Kalan

[19:50] There's the guy.

[19:50] There's the classic.

[19:51] His name is Gustavo.

[19:52] He's the chubby jokey friend.

[19:53] And he's like, you know what?

[19:55] To us and to our great futures and to our wonderful careers and to Laura, you're the best.

[19:59] And we're going to be friends.

[20:00] Yeah, it literally is that.

[20:01] They're all.

[20:01] And Laura's mom is there.

[20:03] And she's acting like she loves being around Laura's friends.

[20:05] And I just have to imagine she's like, ugh, these kids.

[20:07] They're so irritating.

Stuart Wellington

[20:09] Yeah, I do like that the mom is introduced with very little fanfare.

[20:13] Like all of a sudden you're like, the mom's there?

Elliott Kalan

[20:16] I thought there was a lot.

[20:17] Someone just says, I've been trying to get your mom drunk before you got here.

[20:20] And I was like, wait, what?

[20:22] And then a couple of shots later, you see a woman who looks slightly older than them.

[20:26] And it's like, oh, that's her mom.

[20:27] Yeah, that was weird.

[20:28] Like I had no idea what was going on.

Stuart Wellington

[20:30] Guys, I think I could be a Gustavo.

[20:34] Yeah.

[20:34] I think so.

[20:35] Give us your best.

[20:36] I think I'm settling into more the Gustavo than the Ron Ron member of this group.

[20:42] I certainly hope so.

Elliott Kalan

[20:44] I always thought of you as a Ron Ron.

[20:46] Do you think Ron Ron's as they age naturally become Gustavo's?

Stuart Wellington

[20:49] Yeah, I guess that's probably the natural lifespan of like a party dude side character.

Elliott Kalan

[20:57] Now, so, and I will leave unsaid the similarities between Ron Ron and Gustavo because as we've mentioned, Truth or Dare and Friend Request, very different movies that are not at all similar.

[21:08] Ron Ron was a character for the ages, my friend.

[21:11] Gustavo did not even.

Dan McCoy

[21:12] Dan's brow furrowed so deeply I think I saw into his brain.

[21:16] There was no, I did not even register Gustavo.

Elliott Kalan

[21:21] I mean, also the fact that Gustavo, I didn't realize his name until much later when after he dies and someone calls him Gustavo.

[21:27] I was like, oh, okay.

[21:28] But Ron Ron, I knew who he was right off the bat.

[21:31] Yeah.

[21:31] It was like, how do you not know Ron Ron?

[21:33] What a character.

[21:34] So everyone gives a dumb speech, but Marina is watching sadly from outside.

[21:39] She's mad.

Stuart Wellington

[21:40] Is she covered in wasps at this point?

Elliott Kalan

[21:42] No, she's still just covered in a hoodie.

[21:44] Okay.

[21:45] And the darkness of her loneliness.

[21:47] Yep.

[21:47] So she accosts Laura in, what, the dining hall?

[21:50] And they get into an argument and Laura shoves her, which jostles Marina's hood, revealing what, that she's missing hair?

Stuart Wellington

[21:56] Now, this is something I couldn't, I didn't track.

[21:59] Did she push her so hard all her hair fell out?

Elliott Kalan

[22:04] No, that's not what happened.

Dan McCoy

[22:05] I don't think that's what the movie was trying to get across.

Elliott Kalan

[22:07] I think the movie was implying that either she tears her own hair out out of anxiety or has some kind of hair loss thing.

[22:13] Because later her victims start to tear their hair out.

[22:15] But this is something that, like, I didn't quite notice when I first watched it and I had to figure it out later.

[22:22] Like, oh, that's what happened there.

[22:23] And Marina, Laura feels bad.

[22:25] But her friends are like, just don't talk to her anymore.

[22:28] And Marina starts sending Laura tons of creepy apologetic messages like, please, I'm sorry.

Stuart Wellington

[22:32] Ah, come on.

Elliott Kalan

[22:34] Be friends.

[22:34] I love you.

[22:35] We're best friends forever.

[22:37] And I mean, somebody.

Stuart Wellington

[22:38] She's exhibiting behavior of somebody that has, I don't know.

[22:42] But could you need some help?

Elliott Kalan

[22:44] Yeah.

[22:45] I would, as someone.

[22:46] But I could sympathize with Laura a little bit here.

[22:48] As someone who often has trouble not responding to people who either want to be friendly or communicate.

[22:54] And then later find myself being like, oh, I don't really have a lot in common with this person.

[22:58] Like, this is not someone who's really a friend of mine.

[23:01] But I feel anxious when I don't get back in touch with them relatively quickly.

[23:04] And like, but it's just adding stress to my life.

[23:07] Like, so I'm just going to say, Laura, you're not a good person as seen by what happens in the movie.

[23:12] But I sympathize with the hard situation you got put in.

[23:17] Marina's sending Laura all these apologetic messages.

[23:20] Yep.

[23:20] It's really harsh.

[23:22] And Laura starts hallucinating the things from Marina's cartoons.

[23:25] And then we're back to the first scene.

[23:27] And we get the news that Marina has taken her own life.

[23:30] Terrible.

[23:31] And that everybody.

[23:33] But we also learn that she somehow all of her personal information has been deleted from the school's database.

Stuart Wellington

[23:38] And nobody found her body.

[23:42] Yeah, they just saw the video.

[23:43] And I feel like we end up seeing that video later.

[23:48] And it, you know, it looks like a homemade video.

[23:55] And based on her quality of work up to this point, I would like, I would assume that this was not a, like, that this was just a video.

[24:04] Like, it doesn't actually, I don't know, it doesn't actually look like a filmed suicide.

Elliott Kalan

[24:10] No, it looks like a, it looks like a produced kind of amateur horror movie video.

Stuart Wellington

[24:15] And you're right.

[24:15] It just seems weird that with no body or, and that's the only evidence, it seems weird that the police immediately are, I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[24:25] Well, as shown by the level of quality of the police in this film, I believe it.

[24:29] Because the police are terrible in this movie.

[24:31] And they basically just keep going up to the college students and being like, hey, so you're going to tell us what's going on now?

[24:37] Because, uh.

Stuart Wellington

[24:38] I do like, I do like the second detective who is like the sassiest guy who, it feels like right before the movie he watched, uh, Street Fire, The Legend of Chun-Li.

[24:47] And he's like, I'm going to be the next Chris Klein.

[24:50] I guess so.

Elliott Kalan

[24:52] There's a great moment later on, I'll just skip ahead to, where he is making it very clear on the phone that he does not want Chinese food for dinner.

Stuart Wellington

[24:59] When he should be watching the person who's in danger of being attacked by a demon.

Elliott Kalan

[25:03] And he's just, he's just saying, no, not Chinese.

[25:05] Not, not Chinese.

[25:07] No, not Chinese.

[25:08] Not Chinese.

[25:09] Okay, we can have Chinese.

[25:11] And it's like, you know, he walked in and realized, like, guys, I know what I'm going to say on the phone during this scene.

[25:16] It feels like an actor workshopped moment.

[25:18] But I just love, he's literally just saying to the phone, no, not Chinese.

[25:21] No.

[25:22] Not, no, not Chinese.

[25:23] I don't want Chinese.

Stuart Wellington

[25:24] Now, now you had mentioned that Laura had been hallucinating some images, like some images from the videos that Marina had made.

[25:32] Yes.

[25:32] And all of these hallucinations and dreams she had follow the same pattern that is kind of set up by an earlier moment in the movie where she is given a video of a cute kitten by her friend.

[25:45] And then the cute kitten immediately turns into a monster thing.

[25:49] And that's basically the template for this whole movie.

[25:51] Like every single scare is normal, normal, normal.

[25:54] Oh, gross thing.

Elliott Kalan

[25:56] It's tons of jump scares where it's like, yeah, walking around, walking around, looking at a wall.

[26:02] Mutilated face.

[26:03] So if.

[26:04] Walking around, walking around.

[26:05] So I appreciate the movie has.

[26:06] Something comes out of you.

Stuart Wellington

[26:07] I appreciate that the movie has that, like, statement of purpose right up front.

[26:10] And then, like, you're like, that's like a, if you're, you have to be this tall to ride this ride type thing.

[26:18] Like, if you can handle this scare, you can handle the rest of this flick.

Dan McCoy

[26:22] You think it was a subtle commentary.

[26:24] You think that they're like, we're going to put in a literal cat scare at the beginning to signal to the audience what they're in for.

[26:32] Cat scare?

[26:32] I've never heard of that, Dan.

[26:33] What's that?

Elliott Kalan

[26:35] Well, that's when you have, you need, the doctor sends you in for further scare tests.

[26:39] Oh.

[26:39] And they send you to get a cat scare.

[26:41] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[26:42] I thought it was when you thought that maybe you're pregnant with a cat briefly.

[26:49] Oh, yeah.

[26:49] We've all been there.

Stuart Wellington

[26:51] Luckily.

[26:52] Yep.

[26:52] That's a scene from, deleted scene from Sleepwalkers, I think.

[26:56] That's right.

Elliott Kalan

[26:58] Or cat people.

Stuart Wellington

[27:01] Okay.

[27:01] So, sorry for the digression.

Elliott Kalan

[27:02] Or Oliver and company.

[27:05] Sort of.

[27:08] So, no, but Stuart, I'm glad you mentioned that because I actually did, I forgot about that scene and did not make that connection.

[27:13] That they're literally, that the movie is literally like, hey, we're going to do this.

[27:18] We don't have any other ideas.

[27:21] So, Marina somehow sends Laura another message.

[27:23] But as we all know, she's dead even though they didn't find her body.

[27:26] And it's a burning picture of Laura.

[27:29] This is the video.

[27:31] She burns a picture of Laura, then hangs herself over the fire, and I guess catches on fire.

[27:36] And they try to delete the video, but an unknown error occurs.

[27:39] They can't do it.

[27:39] And then the Facebook page starts posting it to Laura's page and tagging all of her friends.

[27:44] Ah!

[27:44] And they're all commenting like, why would you do this?

[27:46] That's sick.

[27:47] Stop this.

[27:47] Don't do this.

[27:48] Everyone's really taking the time to write comments.

[27:51] And I think that's part of the social age is that people finally have the time to make comments on videos that they don't like.

[27:57] Rather than just turning them off, they can write, hey, gross, don't do that.

[28:01] Unfriend me.

[28:01] I don't like this.

Stuart Wellington

[28:02] Yeah.

[28:03] They take a break from commenting positive things over at the Garfield fan page, the official Garfield Facebook page that posts a picture of Garfield every day.

[28:16] And like thousands of people make comments that are like, I love Garfield.

[28:21] Or that's too much lasagna.

[28:24] So they'll take a break from doing that to go comment on this horrible video.

Elliott Kalan

[28:29] Stuart, I think you say that as if you're not part of that mob.

[28:33] I have to believe you are.

Stuart Wellington

[28:35] It's probably my favorite corner of the internet, to be honest.

Dan McCoy

[28:38] Yeah.

[28:39] Now, what are your feelings on Garfield's feelings about spiders?

[28:43] Wait, what?

[28:44] I don't know anything about this.

[28:46] Oh, it's one of his lesser known traits.

[28:48] Garfield hates spiders.

[28:50] He's always smashing them.

[28:51] That's on the backside of his resume.

[28:53] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[28:54] And so everyone knows Front hates Mondays, loves lasagna, questionably overweight since he's gotten slimmer as the years have gone on.

[29:03] Which is really, if anything, it's a positive example to all of us that we're not stuck in the body we're in.

[29:08] We could be proud of the body we're in.

[29:10] But if we want to change it for some reason, we can change it.

[29:13] Just look at Garfield.

[29:14] He's a cat.

[29:15] Somehow he's gone from overweight to just slightly pleasingly plump.

Stuart Wellington

[29:21] You know, society might not like my nice, thick Garfield, but I love him.

[29:26] I think that's the ideal body of a cat.

Elliott Kalan

[29:29] I remember as a teen always being made fun of by my friends because I liked thicker Garfields.

[29:34] What a dumb thing that was.

[29:37] But now I want to go on that Garfield page and do that every day and just be like, watch out, Nermal.

[29:41] He looks like he's got mischief on his mind.

Dan McCoy

[29:45] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[29:48] She's losing friends rapidly.

[29:50] Are you going to fucking tag Nermal in that comment?

[29:54] Because if not, you're like, come on, dude, you got to let him know.

Elliott Kalan

[29:57] So, yeah, Laura's friend count starts dropping and it leads to the best line in the movie, I think, or one of the two best lines.

[30:03] This is from her blonde friend who says, unfriend that dead bitch.

[30:07] But she can't do it.

[30:09] Facebook won't let her unfriend it.

Stuart Wellington

[30:10] Also should have been the title of the movie.

[30:12] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[30:13] Yeah.

[30:13] We didn't mention that this movie was, in other countries, it was titled Unfriended.

[30:18] Like the movie that we watched, I think, last year.

[30:22] Yeah.

[30:23] The one that all takes place on a computer desktop.

[30:27] Oh, definitely a better movie.

Elliott Kalan

[30:28] I would say, I didn't love that movie, but still a much better movie than this.

[30:31] Yes.

[30:32] Yeah.

[30:32] It was called Unfriended in other countries, which is a lateral move from friend request, I have to say.

Stuart Wellington

[30:38] I mean, this 100% should have been called Delete Your Account, right?

[30:42] Yeah.

[30:43] Yeah.

[30:44] I guess so.

[30:45] It seems to be the overwhelming chant over the middle third of the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[30:49] But she can't delete her account.

[30:51] She even calls tech support.

[30:52] Although the guy on the phone says to her, this is not the call center.

[30:55] So I don't know who she's calling.

Stuart Wellington

[30:56] Like Zuckerberg?

[30:58] Ma'am, this is Kinko's.

[30:59] I can't help you at all.

Elliott Kalan

[31:01] She's like, Zucks, I'm having trouble with your Facebook page.

[31:04] Can you undo it?

[31:06] And he's like, do you mean to call Zuckus the Star Wars bounty hunter?

[31:09] And she's like, no, you, Mark Zuckerberg.

[31:10] Oh, people call me Markyberg.

[31:12] I'm sorry.

[31:12] No one calls me Zucks.

[31:13] Yes?

[31:14] What's the problem?

[31:15] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:16] Yeah.

[31:16] Zuckerberg's, I think we can all agree that Zuckerberg's more of a Forlom than a Zuckus,

[31:20] right, guys?

Elliott Kalan

[31:21] Oh, boy.

[31:23] Is he ever.

[31:24] Oh, Spinbridge, dude.

[31:25] But meanwhile, Elon Musk, more of a Dengar.

[31:30] I guess, actually, of all those guys, Steve Bannon would be the Dengar.

[31:33] He's the guy I could mostly just wearing soiled, like, scarves wound around his head.

[31:38] Mm-hmm.

[31:39] Mm-hmm.

[31:39] So anyway, Laura goes for help to this guy, Kobe, who I couldn't tell if he was, like,

[31:45] her ex-boyfriend or just a guy who had a crush on her.

[31:48] He doesn't see.

[31:48] Or just some really good beef.

[31:50] Or just, yeah, the best beef you can get.

[31:52] Yeah.

[31:53] Could be.

[31:55] And he, but he's a computer hacker, of course.

[31:57] You can tell because he's got hand tattoos.

[32:01] And he doesn't, and he has a neck tattoo, too, right?

Stuart Wellington

[32:04] Which means maybe he's a chef.

[32:05] He probably is.

[32:06] And he is still holding a torch for Laura, right?

Elliott Kalan

[32:11] Yes.

[32:11] Yeah.

[32:12] He still has a thing for Laura.

[32:13] So going to him, you know, this is the last thing she wants to do.

[32:16] But she needs his help.

[32:17] So he hacks it to me.

Stuart Wellington

[32:17] I think maybe that, maybe she, you know, she likes being around him.

Elliott Kalan

[32:21] I mean, everything about her voice, physical appearance when she's near him, the way she,

[32:27] her body language, her attitude says the opposite, that she does not like to be around him.

Stuart Wellington

[32:31] Okay.

[32:32] Maybe I was paying too close attention to the closed captions rather than the images on the screen.

Elliott Kalan

[32:37] Well, I think you just saw this guy with tattoos and you were like, this guy looks cool.

[32:40] Okay.

[32:41] Maybe he's the Ron Ron of the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[32:42] Although, to be honest, I recognize that actor because he played like a petulant young man on the television show Revenge, where he spent most of the show like complaining that nobody wants him to date this much richer, younger woman.

[33:00] And so, I don't know, I kind of carried that negative feeling into this movie.

[33:05] I don't know if that's right.

[33:06] Maybe I did him wrong.

[33:08] What do you guys think?

Elliott Kalan

[33:09] I mean, you can't, I mean, it's part of, I guess, classical Hollywood film theory that when you see an actor in a role, you carry with them your memories of all their previous roles.

[33:18] It's the things that would allow someone like Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart or James Cagney or Catherine Hepburn or Barbara Stanwyck to build a persona larger than what she's given or he or she has given to her.

Stuart Wellington

[33:29] Ernest from the Ernest movies.

[33:30] Ernest from the Ernest movies, exactly.

[33:32] I mean, that's the same character.

Elliott Kalan

[33:33] That's literally the same character.

[33:34] So, it's not the same thing at all.

[33:36] It's literally Ernest.

Dan McCoy

[33:37] Oh, well, well, Elliot.

[33:39] It's kind of the ultimate in that example, I think.

Elliott Kalan

[33:43] Not at all.

[33:44] They literally follow from one movie to the next.

[33:46] That's why every Ernest movie, there's a mid-credit sequence where Samuel L. Jackson tells him where he needs to go next.

[33:53] Guess what?

[33:54] Guess what?

[33:54] You're going to be scared, stupid motherfucker.

[33:56] And then he looks at the camera and goes, what?

[33:58] And then it says to be continued, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[33:59] And then all the guys in the theater explain to their dates what just happened.

Elliott Kalan

[34:04] Or some of the girls explain to their dates.

Stuart Wellington

[34:07] Now I know.

[34:08] Of course.

[34:10] Girls can be nerds too, Stuart.

[34:12] Team Comics.

[34:12] I mean, I think I was mainly making a mansplaining joke.

[34:16] To mansplain my joke to you.

Elliott Kalan

[34:19] I didn't get it.

Stuart Wellington

[34:20] So, what you're describing, Elliot, is probably the reason every time I see an ad for This Is Us pop up on my television,

[34:27] it brings me back to watching Gilmore Girls and seeing Milo Ventimiglia playing Jess,

[34:33] the worst character in the history of television.

[34:35] And then I throw an old boot through the TV screen.

[34:38] I have to go buy a new fucking TV.

[34:40] Yeah.

[34:40] And then you look at the camera.

[34:41] You've got to stop keeping so many old boots around.

Elliott Kalan

[34:43] Yeah.

[34:44] Well, then Stuart looks at the camera and says, I lose more TVs that way.

[34:49] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[34:49] Somebody should keep those boots out of arm's reach for me.

[34:52] That reminds me of when I was a little kid.

Elliott Kalan

[34:54] And I got like really.

[34:56] I think we're just in a Stuart one-man show now, I think, which I love.

[34:59] It's just one memory daisy-chaining to the next.

Stuart Wellington

[35:01] Stuart, what's this next one?

[35:02] When I was a kid, I like threw a tantrum and broke something.

[35:06] And my parents were like, so next time, how can we keep this from happening?

[35:11] And I was like, well, maybe keep stuff out of my reach.

[35:15] What a man.

[35:17] What an asshole.

[35:19] What an idiot.

Elliott Kalan

[35:21] Not the answer they were looking for.

[35:23] So Kobe hacks into Marina's account, which is still active.

[35:27] And he sees all this morphing occult symbols.

[35:29] And he goes, this isn't even code.

[35:31] I don't know what this is.

[35:31] It looks like Matrix code, but it's all like Satan letters.

Stuart Wellington

[35:36] It looked like the screensaver that my buddy Porter used to have running on the screen while

[35:40] he was downloading trance albums and bootleg anime.

Dan McCoy

[35:44] I just love that we've got witchcraft going on here.

[35:48] But for some reason, witchcraft still needs to use some kind of code.

[35:52] Like, it's crazy witch code, but it still exists.

[35:56] There's still a source code.

Elliott Kalan

[35:58] Well, as Warren Ellis might say, magic is just the cheat code for reality.

[36:01] Oh.

[36:04] Sounds like a real asshole to me.

[36:08] When would he say that at like a bar?

[36:12] I mean, he typed it at a bar onto his mobile device, which he needed to tell everybody about

[36:17] how amazing it was.

[36:18] Now, that's a specific reference to Warren Ellis' old mailing list, where he would talk

[36:23] at incredible lengths about how amazing his mobile devices were, back when people didn't

[36:27] all have cell phones that had data plans.

[36:30] Anyway, I guess magic is also just a programming language and a software code.

[36:34] But you make a good point, Dan.

[36:35] It's stupid.

[36:36] So, but then one of Laura's friends, the aforementioned Gustavo, he's the next victim.

[36:42] He finds a room, or the first victim.

[36:43] He finds a room full of weird baby dolls and flies and melty-faced kids.

Stuart Wellington

[36:47] And why do you think Gustavo is targeted to be the first victim?

[36:48] Do you think he was the best of them all?

Elliott Kalan

[36:52] It's one of those things where, in real life, you think Marina would strike at the person

[36:56] who would most affect Laura.

[36:58] Because what she wants is for Laura to feel alone.

[37:00] So you'd think that she would first attack the person that would have the most impact

[37:04] on Laura.

[37:05] Or, maybe she would start small and get bigger, but that seems unlikely.

[37:08] But I think because in the movie, you kill off the least important character, and also

[37:13] the one who has any sort of personality.

[37:16] You know?

[37:17] You kill off the jokey one first, because they're the least important to the rest of

[37:21] the movie, usually.

[37:22] Uh-huh.

[37:23] But much the same way that in Avengers Infinity War, I had a real issue with Thanos' battle

[37:29] plan, because it opened by sending hordes and hordes of foot soldiers out, and then they

[37:34] followed it up with these enormous war machines that could just roll over opposing armies.

[37:39] Uh-huh.

[37:39] Go on.

[37:40] Dude, that's not what you do.

[37:41] You send out your big metal first, to really kill as many as you can, then you send out the

[37:45] foot soldiers once they've been softened up.

[37:48] But in a movie, you have to heighten.

[37:50] So you can't do it that way.

[37:51] You have to heighten the threats.

Stuart Wellington

[37:51] Do you think maybe it was also Thanos was just trying to show off how little regard he

[37:56] holds his foot soldiers in, and he's just like, I got zillions of these turds.

[37:59] You can kill as many as you want.

Elliott Kalan

[38:01] Maybe.

[38:02] It's like that moment in Braveheart, where they go, should we shoot more arrows?

[38:05] Arrows cost money.

[38:07] Send in the soldiers.

Stuart Wellington

[38:09] Now, that's a real Thanos.

[38:12] The king of England.

Elliott Kalan

[38:14] He was the original Thanos.

[38:16] That's a real Thanos.

[38:17] Hey, Stuart Wellington.

[38:20] All you need to know is that Gustavo goes into an elevator, the power goes out, and then

[38:24] Laura's friend, Isabel, this is the non-Laura or blonde friend friend, this is just the other

[38:29] friend.

[38:29] This is Gustavo's girlfriend, right?

[38:31] And Gustavo's girlfriend.

[38:33] Opens the elevator door and sees Gustavo slamming his head against the walls until his

[38:36] head is just a bloody pulp.

[38:38] Isabel is sent to the hospital with, I guess, a case of being very afraid.

[38:42] It's never quite clear why she's in the hospital, but she's like, Laura, you know who killed

[38:48] him.

[38:48] And guess what?

[38:50] Some prankster posts the video of Gustavo's death onto Laura's Facebook page.

[38:55] And everyone's like, Laura, why do you keep doing this?

Stuart Wellington

[38:58] And they also realized that Marina, who is still operating on Facebook, friended Gustavo right

[39:07] before he died.

[39:09] That's right.

[39:09] Yeah.

[39:10] Which I would think at this point would lend more credence to the idea that she hadn't

[39:14] committed suicide yet.

Elliott Kalan

[39:16] Yes.

[39:16] But they immediately jumped to the idea of her being kind of a ghost or a witch.

[39:20] Now, I mean, she does have that crazy magic code that backs up that idea.

[39:25] I assume that Gustavo accepted the friend request because he saw it said Marina and he was

[39:28] like, I love the water.

[39:30] I love to be at the shore.

[39:31] I love boats.

[39:32] Yes.

[39:33] I would love to friend request the Marina.

[39:34] That sounds great.

Stuart Wellington

[39:35] He remembers back to his spring break on Crete and the Mediterranean waves in his face.

Elliott Kalan

[39:43] He's like, I bet I get 10% off of catamaran rentals if I'm a friend of the Marina on Facebook.

[39:49] So yes, a thousand times yes, I will.

[39:50] Yes.

[39:51] Yes.

[39:51] I accept your friend request.

[39:52] A thousand times yes.

[39:53] Make me the happiest friend in the world.

[39:56] And then they have a Facebook marriage and it's beautiful.

[40:00] Laura gets suspended from school because everyone's like, Laura.

[40:02] Stop posting these videos to your page.

[40:05] And she's like, I didn't do it.

Stuart Wellington

[40:07] Yep.

[40:07] And then secretly they're assuming that she turns around and looks at the camera and says,

[40:11] ain't I a stinker?

Elliott Kalan

[40:14] But da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.

[40:17] So Kobe tells Marina, oh, it tells Laura, oh, Marina has pictures of wasps everywhere.

[40:23] And legend says that wasps follow witches around.

[40:26] Now, guys, I'm not a witchologist.

[40:28] Is this true?

[40:29] Dan, you're a student of the mystic arts.

[40:32] Wasps follow witches around because I know they have familiars.

[40:35] Like cats often follow witches around.

[40:37] Wasps?

Dan McCoy

[40:38] Yeah.

[40:38] I don't.

[40:39] I've never heard this one.

[40:40] I mean, like, you know, you often hear of like demons having flies buzzing around them,

[40:46] you know?

[40:46] Yeah.

[40:47] Yeah.

[40:47] To indicate rot.

[40:49] But I don't think that wasps are a thing.

[40:53] I mean, they are a thing in the world.

[40:55] Yeah.

[40:55] Thank you for clarifying that.

[40:57] Don't.

[40:58] I mean, if you've got a wasp nest in your home, like, don't take my advice and think like,

[41:02] oh, they're not a thing.

[41:03] And just like, allow them to sing you.

[41:05] Like, you gotta get that thing out of there.

Elliott Kalan

[41:07] Now, I imagine, Dan, you watch in the movie and you see a wasp and you're like, what is

[41:10] this bizarre Dr. Seussical creature?

Stuart Wellington

[41:14] Its bottom is much larger than its top.

Elliott Kalan

[41:17] Now, here's an imaginary beast and where to find it.

[41:21] Now, does this explain why, if they're always followed around by wasps, does this explain

[41:25] why those witches were always at Martha's Vineyard?

Dan McCoy

[41:29] Okay, I get what you're saying.

[41:30] Whoa.

[41:31] Wow.

[41:31] Get it?

[41:32] Whoa.

[41:32] Get it?

[41:32] It's a different kind of wasp.

Elliott Kalan

[41:33] It's okay.

[41:34] I can make that joke.

[41:35] I'm Jewish.

[41:35] So anyway, they investigate Marina's dorm room and all this stuff and they find out that

[41:40] she was a ward of the state who was sent to some kind of boarding school where she was

[41:45] a loner who would often just spend time exploring the dark web and staring at her own

[41:50] reflection in the computer screen.

[41:51] And these other kids, the other kids, they said, hey, she's giving us nightmares and two

[41:56] boys beat her up and they were found later dead with faces mutilated by wasp stings.

[42:01] And guys, did it make you feel as old as it made me feel that they can say, oh yeah, when

[42:05] she was a little girl, she was investigating the dark corners of the internet?

[42:08] Because when I was a little boy, we did not have that.

[42:11] And it made me feel very old that she had it when she was a girl.

Dan McCoy

[42:14] I did not think about it, but that does make me feel old now.

Stuart Wellington

[42:17] Guys, it's easy to forget that when you're younger that even though we might look back

[42:23] on that time as an idyllic paradise, it actually had some dark corners.

[42:28] And it's a good thing that Friend Request kicks over those rocks.

[42:32] And we realized that back in the day, there was a dark web.

Elliott Kalan

[42:35] Yeah, true.

[42:36] But it was all GeoCities and AngelFire sites.

[42:38] Took them very long to load.

Stuart Wellington

[42:40] Uh-huh.

[42:40] But when it loaded, oh boy.

[42:42] Gross.

[42:43] Oh, watch out.

Elliott Kalan

[42:44] She was always on the witchcraft news groups.

[42:47] Mm-hmm.

[42:48] Mm-hmm.

[42:50] So the computer hacker, he does some more research about dark mirror cults.

[42:54] Turns out there's a ritual where if you wanted-

Stuart Wellington

[42:56] I do like that when he's Googling Black Mirror, one of the autofill options is like,

[43:03] Black Mirror Season 3.

[43:05] I'm like, oh yeah, that's pretty cool.

[43:07] That's a little bit of realism.

[43:08] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[43:08] I think one of the pictures that he finds in his research that's supposed to be a seance,

[43:12] I think it's from one of Fritz Lang's Dr. Mabuzo movies.

[43:15] Mm-hmm.

[43:15] So somebody, I guess, was having a little bit of fun there with German filmmaking.

[43:20] I assume that was director Verhoeven being like, hey, he's a little Easter egg for the

[43:24] real German cineast, for the fans of Deutsche Film.

[43:28] So, Deutsche Kino.

[43:30] But he finds that there was a ritual where you got revenge on people by killing yourself,

[43:36] hanging yourself in front of a mirror over a fire, and you turn into a demon.

[43:39] And as soon as he learns this, all the screens in the computer lab go nuts, and the lights

[43:43] go out, and he's like, ah, ah, ah.

[43:45] And the scene ends when a friendly, silent janitor who does not understand what this crazy

[43:50] kid is up to walks in.

[43:51] This janitor, favorite character in the movie.

[43:54] Just going to tell you guys this.

[43:55] Yeah.

[43:55] He appears in just this one scene, and he says more with his like, come on, what's this

[44:01] nonsense?

[44:01] Look at the kid than anyone else does.

[44:03] It's more acting in that one moment than anyone else has in the whole movie.

[44:06] Yeah.

[44:07] And I just love that character.

Stuart Wellington

[44:08] Yeah.

[44:08] It's that kind of like side character who gets almost no lines, big laugh, like the hotel

[44:16] maid in Ghostbusters.

[44:19] It's the same kind of performance.

Elliott Kalan

[44:21] Or the scene in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, where the plane is flying around, and they

[44:26] go, it might crash, get the fire department.

[44:29] Or like, oh, the firemen are here.

[44:30] And you pan over, and you just see that the firemen are the Three Stooges, and they don't

[44:34] say anything, and they do not appear again in the movie.

[44:36] And every time I've seen that, that's the biggest laugh in the entire film.

[44:39] It's just like, because you know who the Three Stooges are.

[44:42] Uh-oh, this is going to be trouble.

[44:43] They're not going to be good firemen.

[44:44] Thousands will be killed, probably, from their antics.

Stuart Wellington

[44:46] It's like that thing you were talking about, how once you see Ernest in one movie, every

[44:50] time you see Ernest in another movie, it just builds on the soupy flavor of a delicious

[44:55] Ernest performance.

Elliott Kalan

[44:56] It's similar, because the Three Stooges do play basically the same characters.

[45:01] Okay.

[45:01] But it's not exactly the same as what I was saying earlier, where I was talking about an

[45:05] actor carrying a persona from one role to the next, so that when you watch a movie with

[45:09] Humphrey Bogart, even if the movie doesn't do a great job of building his personality, you

[45:13] already know it from his previous roles.

[45:15] And it imbues it with a greater strength, almost like a bouillabaisse or a sauce that's

[45:19] been reduced for many, many years, you know?

[45:21] Yeah.

[45:21] But yeah, no.

[45:22] Yeah, Ernest and the Three Stooges.

[45:24] Actually, this janitor is kind of like if Ernest P.

[45:26] Worrell was a real person.

[45:28] Like, that's kind of the look I get from it.

[45:29] And I know Jim Varney was a real person.

[45:31] Yeah, unlike a cartoon character, yeah.

[45:32] I know Jim Varney was a real person, but like, he was playing it as a crazy character.

[45:36] He wasn't, uh, I thought he was animated.

[45:39] I mean...

[45:40] Yeah, it was all mocap.

[45:41] Yeah.

[45:43] Dan, what were you going to say?

Dan McCoy

[45:45] No, I was trying to work in some joke about the importance of being earnest in here,

[45:48] but I don't think it worked.

Elliott Kalan

[45:50] Viva Variety beat you to that by almost 20 years, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[45:53] Well, it beat me to a lot of things, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[45:56] Do you remember they did that bit where they had Jim Varney and it was the importance of being earnest with Jim Varney?

[46:00] And they're all talking about this rascal Ernest.

[46:03] But they're all talking about it as if it's a...

[46:06] Yeah, and he's teaching someone how to say, know what I mean, Vern, I think.

[46:09] Okay, so then Marina goes after Isabelle in the hospital, sends all her regular goons, the pregnant corpse, kids with no faces.

[46:18] Yep.

[46:18] Isabelle kills herself.

[46:19] Does that video get posted on Laura's Facebook feed?

[46:21] You know it, but she's already been suspended from school.

Stuart Wellington

[46:24] Now at this point...

[46:24] She's outside the law now.

[46:25] She's in the hospital.

[46:27] Isabelle is running around, obviously scared, and her face is constantly mascara streaked.

[46:33] And I feel like it's taken place over a couple...

[46:34] This has taken place over a day or so.

[46:36] Like, why does she keep putting mascara on?

Elliott Kalan

[46:39] Because, Stuart, unfortunately our society judges women even when they're in the hospital.

[46:43] Yeah, you're right.

[46:44] On keeping up their appearance that way.

[46:46] It's unfair, but Friend Request is all about turning a mirror on the unfair things in life.

[46:50] A black mirror, if you will.

Stuart Wellington

[46:52] Oh, cool.

[46:53] It's like a turned-off computer.

[46:55] The idea...

[46:57] Another great performance that has no dialogue at all is when Isabella's parents, finding

[47:04] out that her daughter is dead, are walking down the hall and give Laura the bitchiest look.

Elliott Kalan

[47:10] Which she deserves, but I don't know if the parents really know why she deserves it.

[47:15] Uh-huh.

[47:17] So, Kobe is like, we've got to destroy her black mirror.

[47:20] We need to find her laptop and destroy it, and then the ritual will be over.

[47:23] Uh, of course, Marina goes after Laura's blonde friend.

[47:26] First, the worst thing that she does to any of them, she's printing all of these occult symbols on a black background from Laura's friend's printer, and it's like, you're using up all of her ink.

[47:36] Yep.

[47:36] She's a college student.

[47:37] Yep.

[47:37] She has to print out term papers.

[47:39] She's going to have...

[47:40] She's going to end up with those pages that are really, like, all faded because she doesn't have enough ink for all the letters.

[47:45] Yep.

[47:45] She's going to hand that in.

[47:46] Her psych professor, who has already admonished her for using social media in class, is not going to accept it.

[47:52] This is...

[47:52] I mean, that goes beyond the pale, just using up all her ink.

[47:54] Dan, how would you react to that?

Dan McCoy

[47:56] Uh, poorly?

[47:58] I don't know what you're...

[47:59] I don't know what you're teeing me up for here, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[48:02] I'm just saying, you're a writer.

[48:03] You understand how important it is to have ink in your printer.

Dan McCoy

[48:05] Mm-hmm.

[48:06] Is that a...

[48:06] That sounds like a euphemism for something.

[48:08] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[48:09] Speaking of, Dan, I have some ground-up rhino horn.

[48:11] This will put ink in your printer.

[48:15] Uh, so anyway, then the CGI wasps attack.

[48:18] Oh, no!

[48:19] So they learn more about Marina.

[48:21] Her mother was in a cult whose house burned down.

[48:24] Mm-hmm.

[48:24] And then they kind of...

[48:25] If I misunderstood, they kind of made it seem like the mother was killed in the fire, but

[48:28] they kept her on life support until Marina was born.

[48:31] Yep.

[48:31] Which leads to my other favorite line in the movie.

[48:33] She was alone in the womb for months.

[48:36] Uh-huh.

[48:36] As if that was...

[48:36] That's a sinister thing when, unless you're a twin, like me, everyone's alone in the womb for

[48:41] nine months.

[48:42] Yeah.

[48:42] Like, that's how it works.

[48:43] That's how it works, everybody.

[48:44] So should I worry that you two guys are going to attack me because you're so lonely from

[48:50] being in the womb by yourself?

[48:51] Like, what is that supposed to mean?

Dan McCoy

[48:53] She should have invited some friends over.

Stuart Wellington

[48:56] Is that why you...

[48:56] Yeah.

[48:57] Is that why you moved away, Elliot?

[48:58] So that we wouldn't attack you with our lonely womb rage?

Elliott Kalan

[49:02] I was like, where can I go that has the most twins?

[49:05] So there aren't people who are just going insane from the solitary confinement that is the womb.

[49:10] Oh, no.

[49:11] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[49:12] Lonely womb rage.

Elliott Kalan

[49:14] Of course.

[49:15] What?

[49:16] Womb rage?

[49:16] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[49:16] Just like the phrase that Stuart uttered, lonely womb rage.

[49:21] I think we should get some appreciation.

Elliott Kalan

[49:23] That could be a death metal band, right?

[49:25] Yeah.

[49:25] Only womb rage.

[49:26] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[49:27] It's a song.

[49:29] Which reminds me that, have you guys ever seen, there's a softcore movie that's a parody

[49:35] of Tomb Raider that's called Womb Raider?

[49:37] And I think it's very funny because it's like, that's not the thing that people think of

[49:42] as like sexy.

[49:42] It's like a womb.

[49:44] That's really weird.

[49:45] Like, most of these titles have like bust in the title, which makes more sense than womb.

Dan McCoy

[49:50] Do you think...

[49:50] And it makes it sound like you're like someone stealing a baby from inside a womb.

[49:53] Yeah, which is horrifying.

Stuart Wellington

[49:55] That's the original title of, what was that?

[49:57] The Inside?

[49:58] That French movie?

[49:58] Yeah, it was Womb Raider.

[50:00] It was Womb Raider.

Elliott Kalan

[50:01] That was the French title.

[50:02] And they were like, I don't think this is going to fly in America.

[50:07] Oh man, that movie's gross.

[50:10] So, the blonde friend...

[50:12] Oh no, and Laura's friend count has dropped to 24 by this point, which the movie presents

[50:15] as if it's a really bad thing when it's like, well, a bunch of her friends are dead.

[50:19] So that's worse than her Facebook friend count going down.

[50:22] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[50:22] At this point, I don't really care if her Facebook friend count has gone down.

[50:25] It's not...

[50:25] I guess that's Marina's goal, but...

Stuart Wellington

[50:27] It'd be one thing if she was maybe like,

[50:28] if her...

[50:30] At no point, other than the fact that she likes to document stuff on Facebook,

[50:34] it never really showed that having a lot of friends on Facebook was that important to her.

[50:40] Maybe if she was like, one of her things was applying for a job or something where they're

[50:46] like, oh, you need to have a very active social media presence in order to get this job.

[50:50] But it's not tied to her goals or anything, right?

Dan McCoy

[50:53] I mean, they're trying to use it as an indicator of real life friendship, which is why I think

[51:01] it would be funny if there was one friend that she had who didn't use Facebook at all, and

[51:07] like the movie turned into a comedy of just like her trying to keep this information away from

[51:11] her friend.

Elliott Kalan

[51:12] Or just Marina keeps trying to get that person on Facebook because she can only kill people

[51:17] who have accepted her friend.

Stuart Wellington

[51:17] Marina sends her like a fucking American online CD.

Elliott Kalan

[51:25] Or it could be funny if there's the people that Laura like only like knew years ago and doesn't

[51:30] know anymore.

[51:31] And they're like, I guess I'll check out what Laura's up to since high school.

[51:34] Whoa, whoa.

[51:35] What is she into?

[51:37] Jeez Louise.

[51:40] Oh, then while Laura and Kobe are poking around this burned out cult farm, her blonde friend

[51:46] in the hospital, she gets possessed while the cop, as I mentioned before, is talking on his

[51:50] phone about how he does not want Chinese food for dinner.

[51:52] The blonde manages to wrest the cop's gun away from him and shoot herself.

[51:56] And the cop's partner gives him a look like, come on, man.

Stuart Wellington

[51:59] Like, seriously?

[52:02] It's pretty great.

[52:03] I kind of love these two cops.

[52:05] At one point, the second detective was like, so, uh, where'd she torture self?

[52:11] And you're like, really?

[52:12] You asked that?

Elliott Kalan

[52:15] I mean, the, it made me want to see a movie that's from the point of view of the, of the

[52:19] cops who are trying to figure out something that's going on with a bunch of teens in a

[52:22] horror movie.

[52:22] And they're like, this, we are reaching a lot of dead ends, everybody.

[52:26] We just know teens are dying, but we cannot figure it out.

[52:28] Oh, somebody tell us something.

Stuart Wellington

[52:29] Yeah.

[52:30] These, these two cops with a clear, rich inner life based around not wanting Chinese food.

Elliott Kalan

[52:35] Uh, anyway, uh, they wander around this cult farm.

[52:40] Laura doesn't see anything spooky while Kobe keeps seeing spooky things.

[52:43] I see.

Stuart Wellington

[52:44] I saw something pretty spooky.

[52:45] A really sick tag that said Satan.

Elliott Kalan

[52:49] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[52:52] That's how you know it's cool.

Elliott Kalan

[52:54] Cause Satan was there when he was a 16 year old and he was like, check this out.

[52:57] He's like, check this out.

[52:58] I've been really working on my bubble letters.

[53:02] He was going to put in Satan plus Debbie forever, but he ran out of time.

[53:06] He had to go.

[53:08] Uh, but it's like an Abbott and Costello movie almost where she will wander past a hallway and

[53:11] not notice the ghost in it.

[53:12] And then Kobe is like, anyway, uh, Kobe, uh, stabs Laura because he says, Hey, if you're

[53:22] dead, then she can't care about killing us to make you lonely anymore.

[53:26] Stabs Laura, but not very well.

[53:27] Cause she runs away and it doesn't seem to affect her that much.

[53:29] Yeah.

[53:30] And it is, that is a hundred percent.

Stuart Wellington

[53:32] The one twist in the movie that I kind of liked the idea that a guy realizes that he

[53:38] is being spooked and that he is the next on the list to die.

[53:42] So he's like, I, despite the fact that I have feelings for this woman, I care about my life

[53:49] more.

[53:50] So I have to kill her.

[53:52] And I wish that they had like played that up a little bit more.

[53:55] Like they'd played up the tension of this guy's like almost Cohen brothers.

[53:59] He asked inept murdering of his friend, but yeah, like a, like a desperation.

Dan McCoy

[54:04] But I mean, I agree that I, there's a, I feel like there's a seed of an interesting idea in

[54:10] this movie in there, in the villain, the evil spirit wanting the heroine, not dead, but

[54:19] lonely.

[54:20] And I think that that's kind of interesting.

[54:21] And if they didn't tie it to Facebook in such a stupid way, it could have been like an intriguing

[54:26] horror premise.

[54:27] And I like, yeah, the guy being like, well, can't make you lonely if you're dead.

[54:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[54:34] True.

[54:35] I mean, isn't death the ultimate loneliness?

[54:38] Sure.

[54:39] I guess.

[54:40] I haven't thought about that much.

[54:41] Should I?

[54:42] Unless you go to heaven.

[54:44] I mean, don't worry about it.

[54:46] Laura manages to eventually find herself to the abandoned factory where Marion killed

[54:49] herself.

[54:50] Oh no, where, where Marina killed herself.

[54:51] Not Marion.

[54:52] I'm sorry.

[54:52] Where Marina died.

[54:53] She gets a frantic call from her mom, who, as we can see from all sorts of spooky CGI

[54:59] video manipulation effects as being bedeviled by Marina.

Stuart Wellington

[55:02] I feel like I like the idea that only now she's like, oh right, I have a mom.

[55:10] And moms love Facebook.

Elliott Kalan

[55:13] They do.

[55:14] She's always saying, always commenting on the Garfield posts.

[55:17] Oh no.

[55:20] Her doctor boyfriend shows up.

[55:22] Kobe stabs him in the neck through the back of the neck, which is pretty impressive.

[55:25] Yeah.

[55:26] And he's about to kill Laura, but CGI wasps swarm around him and kill him.

[55:30] And Laura's like, what do you want from me?

[55:32] And Marina's ghost as a little girl comes up and says, I want to be best friends forever.

[55:37] And Laura finds Marina's laptop and body and the laptop is almost beckoning her.

[55:42] And, uh-oh, suddenly she's looking in a mirror in the forest and a ghost jumps at her.

[55:47] Cut to, she's back at college.

[55:49] Wait, who's that creepy, hooded sweatshirt figure sitting off to her side being a creepy weirdo?

[55:55] It's Laura.

[55:56] But now her Facebook page is just La Space Ura, like Marina's page.

[56:01] And she's the new, she has been possessed and she is the new lonely demon.

[56:06] Has Marina got her revenge?

[56:08] Or is it the kind of thing where Marina is now doomed to live inside of Laura's body?

[56:12] And they've got a like, it's like an all of me type situation.

[56:14] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[56:16] Uh, so what I can't figure out is, is Marina, is she possessing her body and she is now Marina,

[56:24] just in a different body?

[56:25] Or has Laura been turned into a friendless, uh, weirdo like Marina?

[56:34] And like, is, is the movie saying she is now doomed to have no friends and be into like

[56:39] goth stuff?

Elliott Kalan

[56:41] I mean, that's the great, that's, that's the great thing about art is it's really up to

[56:44] you to interpret that.

Stuart Wellington

[56:45] Oh, cool.

[56:46] I never thought that, uh, art you say, should I check this out?

Elliott Kalan

[56:49] Yeah.

[56:50] Yeah.

[56:50] Just Google art.

[56:51] Uh-huh.

[56:52] See what comes up.

[56:52] Uh, you know what?

[56:53] Google deviant art.

[56:54] I think you'll like that stuff.

Stuart Wellington

[56:55] It reminds me of the time when, uh, I was home from college and I had some friends over

[57:00] and my little brother came down and he's like, Hey guys, do you like art?

[57:05] And we were like, uh, yeah, I guess.

[57:07] And he pulled out his glass of weed pipe and he's like, Oh, that's art.

[57:16] Oh man.

[57:18] It took me to sit like my brain just couldn't process exactly what was happening.

Elliott Kalan

[57:22] I mean, I, was he high?

[57:23] Was that what it was?

[57:24] Uh, I mean, probably.

[57:27] Although that's the, uh, he, you should have said, actually, that's an example of craft,

[57:31] a very different thing, but related.

[57:34] Thanks little brother.

[57:34] Anyway, guys, let's get back to what we were doing.

[57:36] Playing duck hunt.

[57:37] I assume.

[57:39] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[57:40] Uh, why did, why?

[57:43] I thought that like destroying the mirror or whatever was going to save Laura.

[57:47] But she didn't destroy the mirror.

[57:48] But like, why didn't she just, why didn't she destroy it, guys?

Elliott Kalan

[57:51] Because she was already under the spell of Marina at that point.

[57:54] And also at that point, Laura has no friends on Facebook.

[57:57] Her other friends are dead and her mom.

[57:59] So she might be like, you know what?

[58:01] All cards on the table.

[58:03] Before I did not need Marina's friendship.

[58:05] I had plenty of friends.

[58:06] I was friend rich.

[58:07] But now at the bottom of the barrel, I can't afford to be so choosy.

[58:10] She's got real leverage over me.

[58:12] So you know what?

[58:13] Yes, Marina, we will be friends.

[58:15] But I'm being honest.

[58:16] It's only because you have cut me off from all other sources of friendship.

[58:19] So all cards on the table.

[58:21] Do you still want my friendship knowing that I'm only giving it to you out of desperation?

[58:25] And Marina's like, uh, yeah, that was the point, dude.

[58:28] I'll take whatever friendship I could get.

[58:30] I don't care.

[58:31] And Laura's like, all right, as long as we're okay with each other, we understand this.

[58:34] We know that our friendship is based on a foundation of me being an outcast because of you.

[58:39] And Marina's like, yeah, outcast.

[58:40] Let's be a rap duo.

[58:42] Like this kind of crazy girl and a ghost.

[58:44] Let's do it.

[58:45] And Laura's like, uh, I don't know.

[58:47] But a month later, Laura's like, yeah, let's try it out.

[58:50] Sure.

[58:50] They put out their first album, You Be a Ghost.

[58:53] U is just the letter U and B is the letter B.

[58:56] And it's a huge hit.

[58:58] It's a huge hit.

[58:59] Not just because of the novelty of a college age girl and her ghost friend putting out a rap,

[59:04] but because the beats are super tight and her language, it just opens up a new world.

[59:09] She's working with rhymes in a way that people just haven't done before.

[59:12] She packs them in so tightly.

[59:13] But then she'll like extend what she's doing into almost a trance vibe.

[59:17] And so it really makes a mark in the hip hop world.

[59:21] And suddenly, Laura and Marina, or Lorena, as they perform under, that's their outcast type name.

[59:27] I mean, they have their other personas.

[59:28] Marina is also called like, it's called like Ghost 45.

[59:31] And that's, and Laura's rap name is like, you know, is like, you know, Girl Gone or something like that.

[59:37] But girl is spelled G-U-R-L.

[59:39] So they're just blazing up the charts.

[59:42] And it's like, yeah, we finally found our place.

[59:44] And it's ironic, and Marina killing all of Laura's friends gives her a ton of street cred.

[59:48] A ton of street cred.

[59:49] She's been there.

[59:50] She's lived that life.

[59:51] She's got blood on her hands.

[59:52] So when she raps about killing people, it's for real.

[59:55] Like, people know she's walked the walk.

[59:57] She's from that.

[59:58] And so it really brings them together in a way they never thought before.

[1:00:03] And eventually, you know, they have their arguments.

[1:00:05] They split up for a little bit, and they come back together.

[1:00:06] They have their solo projects and experimental stuff.

[1:00:09] Marina gets a little too involved in conservative politics in a way that people,

[1:00:12] has people worried about her sanity for a little bit.

[1:00:15] But then she comes back, and they're doing, you know,

[1:00:17] it's been a while since they performed, and they're like,

[1:00:19] but they're still friends.

[1:00:20] And they're like, we haven't toured together in a long time.

[1:00:22] Let's do it.

[1:00:23] Are our fans still out there?

[1:00:24] It's been years.

[1:00:25] There's only one way to give it a shot.

[1:00:26] And the tour is a huge success, a huge hit.

[1:00:29] It's amazing.

[1:00:30] And it's a global tour.

[1:00:32] They're touring for like two years straight.

[1:00:33] Oh, wow, yeah.

[1:00:33] And people are so excited.

[1:00:34] They're like, we forgot we needed this.

[1:00:36] We forgot we needed this.

[1:00:37] And at the end of the final tour, they're on stage.

[1:00:40] Just playing the hits.

[1:00:41] Just, I mean, the hits.

[1:00:43] And also like, sometimes they'll just kind of freestyle.

[1:00:45] Oh, yeah.

[1:00:45] And experiment.

[1:00:46] And the audience loves that even more.

[1:00:47] Like Paul Simon.

[1:00:48] Yeah, exactly.

[1:00:49] Because they're like, you guys' skills haven't missed a beat.

[1:00:51] And you've evolved with the times.

[1:00:53] What you're doing now is so different from what you did when you started.

[1:00:56] But there's still a continuity of style and voice.

[1:00:58] And at the end of the concert, Laura turns to Marina and goes, Marina, we've had our up times.

[1:01:04] We've had our down times.

[1:01:05] But you know what?

[1:01:06] You are my friend.

[1:01:07] And you're my best friend.

[1:01:08] Thank you.

[1:01:09] And Marina is so overjoyed that she ascends to heaven in what becomes the most viral video

[1:01:14] in the history of online videos.

[1:01:16] And that's the end of a beautiful career.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:19] So you're saying that this movie actually had a happy ending.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:22] I mean, if you tack on my stuff, then yes.

[1:01:24] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:26] Yeah, that's great.

[1:01:27] And Elliot demonstrated his understanding of rap stuff really well.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:33] And also, Marina says, thank you for accepting my friend request.

[1:01:38] And Laura's like, I'll always accept your friend requests.

[1:01:41] Because that's what friends do.

[1:01:42] And then, yeah, ascends to heaven.

[1:01:44] She came down from heaven for that last part.

[1:01:45] And then she ascends back up again.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:46] I mean, that scene got a little bulky.

[1:01:49] But it's okay.

[1:01:51] It's good.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:52] Well, I realized after the fact that I should try to tie in the title of the movie.

[1:01:56] Yeah, yeah.

[1:01:57] So guys, is this a good, great movie?

[1:02:00] An amazing, bad movie?

[1:02:01] No.

[1:02:02] Or a slinky, slonky movie?

[1:02:04] Oh, but.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:05] No.

[1:02:06] Our categories are, is this a slinky, slonky, right?

[1:02:08] Is this movie totally scarifying?

[1:02:11] Is it totally snorifying?

[1:02:13] Sure.

[1:02:14] Or is it frighteningly funny?

[1:02:15] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:17] Which one is the closest equivalent to slinky, slonky?

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:23] I guess snorifying.

[1:02:25] Okay.

[1:02:26] I mean, to be fair, Dan, the best way to describe the movie is slinky, slonky.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:31] All right.

[1:02:31] Well, I guess three slinky, slonky's then.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:34] Okay.

[1:02:34] So guys, if slinky, slonky is not an option, thanks, Dan.

[1:02:37] What do you say?

[1:02:38] I say snorifying.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:41] I say, this is between snorifying and frighteningly funny for me.

[1:02:47] Like, I, it's not that great.

[1:02:49] It does, but it doesn't, it doesn't drag that much.

[1:02:53] Like, it goes along pretty fast.

[1:02:55] And I find it hilarious that it's so rooted in Facebook.

[1:02:59] A thing that young people, as I understand, don't actually really use that much anymore.

[1:03:04] Yeah, they're all about the Instagram now.

[1:03:05] They've really tied this into this.

[1:03:07] Like, it's, it's just a fad horror movie.

[1:03:10] And I find those kind of hilarious whenever the horror tries to be like, just tap into like, what's cool and misses it so completely.

[1:03:20] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:20] I mean, the thing that keeps it from being frighteningly funny for me is the, I don't know why it bugs me, but the idea of the, I know there's like demons and magic and shit involved, but the idea that like the villain in the movie is this poor woman.

[1:03:37] And who, this poor girl who's been like abused and doesn't have friends and is this like, I don't know, artistically talented goth character who then kills herself is like, like, fuck that dude.

[1:03:52] So I'm going to say snorifying.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:54] Yeah.

[1:03:55] Yeah.

[1:03:55] It's one of these movies where the heroes give you very little to root for them other than the fact that they are attractive and already happy.

[1:04:03] Yeah.

[1:04:03] And, and the villain is, as you're saying, someone who has really, life has been so unkind to them.

[1:04:09] Yeah.

[1:04:09] And they, they have so much to give the world in the, in the form of their art.

[1:04:13] Like she is, if she, it would be another thing if she was really untalented almost, or it's like the character, they're looking at her animations.

[1:04:19] They're like, she's terrible.

[1:04:21] These are bad.

[1:04:21] But, uh, it's, it's a weird movie for, I feel like, especially for, it reminds me of in Green Lantern where they're like, Ryan Reynolds is a totally buff, super hot fighter pilot.

[1:04:32] And the bad guy he's going to beat up on is a nerd in a wheelchair where it was like, hold on a second.

[1:04:38] What is this movie telling me?

[1:04:39] It feels like with this too, where it's like the fan, the people who are going to watch horror movies are often the people who would sympathize more, I'm guessing, with Marina than with Laura.

[1:04:48] But maybe I'm wrong about that.

[1:04:51] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:53] Uh, so mixed, let's say.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:57] Okay.

[1:04:58] So Dan's like, so let's say frighteningly funny.

[1:05:01] Wait, no, but we didn't say that.

[1:05:12] So it's about some books.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:15] One, two, one, two, three, four.

Justin McElroy

[1:05:17] Hi, everybody.

[1:05:18] My name is Justin McElroy.

[1:05:20] And I'm Sydney McElroy.

[1:05:21] And together we're the hosts of Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine.

[1:05:25] What does that mean for you, the podcast consumer?

[1:05:27] Well, it means that you're going to get a lot of stories about how we used to do weird stuff to people in order to try to fix them.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:34] Do you know that we used to think diseases were caused by bad smells and that we used to eat mummies for medicine?

S5

[1:05:41] That's super funny.

[1:05:43] I kind of like it.

Justin McElroy

[1:05:45] Well, thanks.

[1:05:45] And we hope you'll kind of like our show, Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine.

[1:05:50] It's available every Friday, wherever fine podcasts are sold or at its beautiful picturesque home at MaximumFun.org.

S5

[1:06:04] The secret is out.

[1:06:07] I, Open Mike Eagle, officially had a wrestling match.

[1:06:12] And on the next Tyson Fights, I'm talking all about it.

[1:06:15] From the rap battles that got us started.

Justin McElroy

[1:06:17] Open Mike, you ain't ready.

[1:06:21] Oh, really?

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:21] You call him like some spaghetti.

[1:06:23] Oh, really?

[1:06:24] Ha, ha, ha, ha.

S5

[1:06:25] And to how I hurt myself in ways I didn't know I could.

Justin McElroy

[1:06:28] That day and the day before, I got so many texts from people who really care about me who were like, please don't break your neck.

S5

[1:06:35] The only place you can get the full story is on the newest episode of Tights and Fights.

[1:06:41] Find it on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:47] Okay.

[1:06:47] So we've come, we've closed the casket on that one.

[1:06:51] Let's open a new casket for a new thing.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:54] Yeah.

[1:06:54] Well, Elliot, you had some promotions you wanted to do.

[1:07:00] I just wanted to.

[1:07:01] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:02] No, go on.

[1:07:02] What were you going to say?

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:04] Were you going to set them up?

[1:07:05] Yeah, I'm just setting you up, man.

[1:07:07] That's all it is.

[1:07:07] I was just fucking teeing up the ball and you were like putting on the brakes.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:11] I'm trying to think of like a great book to buy somebody.

[1:07:14] I put a ball on a tee and you like balked.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:18] But then you said, no, then you said, uh, as if you had another thing to say.

[1:07:22] So I was like, oh, Dan's using a space filler sound like, uh.

[1:07:27] And usually people do that to fill space between sentences or words.

[1:07:31] So let's see what's coming up next.

[1:07:33] Let's see what hot new ideas coming out of Dan's mouth.

[1:07:36] Oh, nothing.

[1:07:37] Oh, great.

[1:07:37] Okay, thanks.

[1:07:40] So let me just promote.

[1:07:41] We've got a couple of live shows coming up, as we've mentioned on this show before.

[1:07:44] November 3rd, coming up very soon after this episode comes out at Earlham College in Richmond, Indiana.

[1:07:50] Saturday, November 3rd at 7.30 p.m. as part of the Earlham Artists and Lecture Series.

[1:07:54] The Flophouse is going to be there.

[1:07:56] We're talking about Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom, right?

[1:07:58] Oh, yeah.

[1:07:59] We're going to.

[1:08:00] That kingdom.

[1:08:00] If that kingdom's already fallen down, we're going to kick it.

[1:08:03] while it's down.

[1:08:04] Oh, yeah.

[1:08:05] Beware of dinos.

[1:08:08] Mm-hmm.

[1:08:08] Then on January 26th, 2019.

[1:08:11] That's right.

[1:08:11] The future.

[1:08:13] On Saturday, January 26th, we're going to be in Wisconsin.

[1:08:17] We don't care that it's winter in Wisconsin.

[1:08:18] We're going to be there anyway.

[1:08:19] We're going to brave the cold.

[1:08:20] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[1:08:21] I didn't even think about that.

[1:08:22] What?

[1:08:23] Oh, it's the thing everyone mentions to me when I mention the show to them.

[1:08:26] They go, you can go to Wisconsin in January.

[1:08:27] And I'm like, yeah, we don't give a shit.

[1:08:29] We'll deal with anything for our fans.

[1:08:31] Yeah.

[1:08:31] For our fans, we would walk through hellfire.

[1:08:33] We'd walk through blizzard fire.

[1:08:35] We'd walk through.

[1:08:35] So brave of you to say.

[1:08:37] Yeah.

[1:08:38] And so Saturday, January 26th, January 26th, at the University of Wisconsin-Madison at the

[1:08:44] Wisconsin Union Theater, we're going to be there.

[1:08:46] It's going to be great.

[1:08:47] It's going to be fantastic, guys.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:48] Dan, even though it'll be cold, you can eat a lot of cheese curds.

[1:08:52] And it'll make you feel good.

[1:08:53] I don't think that's what those do.

[1:08:54] And probably bloated.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:56] I mean, to be fair, if the dairy that sells ice cream at the University of Wisconsin is

[1:09:02] open, we should go to that.

[1:09:03] They make great ice cream there.

[1:09:05] Okay.

[1:09:07] Let's say.

[1:09:07] So I hope it's open.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:09] Cold outside, cold inside.

[1:09:12] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:14] There's something that Sammy started saying when he gets into his bath on particularly

[1:09:18] hot days, which we have a lot of here in sunny LA.

[1:09:20] He'll get in and go, ah, a nice hot bath on a nice hot day.

[1:09:27] Is your son an elderly man?

[1:09:31] It reminds me, there was one time once when Danielle and I were having lunch at a diner

[1:09:34] and I got soup before my food.

[1:09:37] And I was like, ah, it's nice to have a nice cup of soup before food.

[1:09:39] And she was like, you just sounded like the oldest man in the world.

[1:09:44] Uh, but guys, I'm not here just to talk about Flophouse.

[1:09:46] I'm also here to talk about the children's book event of the century.

[1:09:50] I'm not in the 21st century.

[1:09:51] It's only been a few years.

[1:09:52] Uh, horse meets dog.

[1:09:54] My kid's book with Tim Miller, my first ever kid's book.

[1:09:56] It's about a horse that meets a dog.

[1:09:57] It's called horse meets dog.

[1:09:58] It comes out October 30th, right after this, this episode comes out.

[1:10:02] Right, Dan?

[1:10:03] Yes.

[1:10:03] Yeah, Dan.

[1:10:04] So pick it up or pre-order it at your local bookstore.

[1:10:07] Uh, I'm going to be doing some horse meets dog events that I'm going to tell you about

[1:10:11] now.

[1:10:11] I'm going to be touring for a few days all over the country.

[1:10:14] Mostly school visits, but I'll be doing a few store appearances.

[1:10:17] For instance, Wednesday, November 7th at 4 p.m.

[1:10:20] I'll be at Green Bean Books in Portland, Oregon.

[1:10:22] That's Wednesday, November 7th at Green Bean Books.

[1:10:24] On Thursday, November 8th, the next day, I'm going to be at a great good place for books

[1:10:29] in beautiful Oakland, California at 7 p.m.

[1:10:31] I believe it might even be a pizza party.

[1:10:33] Uh, so that's, I'm in Oregon on November 7th.

[1:10:36] I'm in Oakland, November 8th.

[1:10:38] And then Sunday, November 11th at Skylight Books in LA, I'll be having what is for me

[1:10:43] the, like, hometown launch event for horse meets dog.

[1:10:46] That's at 3 p.m.

[1:10:46] On Sunday, November 11th.

[1:10:48] Come on down to Skylight Books.

[1:10:49] It's a great store.

[1:10:50] And I'm going to try to make it so that we have cookies there.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:53] Now, 3 p.m., you're going to get fucking raw, I bet, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:56] Oh, yeah.

[1:10:57] That's when I get a little blue.

[1:10:58] Yeah, the 3 p.m. show.

[1:11:00] No, just kidding.

[1:11:01] These are all ages events.

[1:11:02] It's a kid's book.

[1:11:03] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:05] Okay.

[1:11:06] So don't come in expecting Elliot to do his, like, his, like, super gross material.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:11] Yeah, he's not going to do his seven words you can't say on television.

[1:11:13] Uh-huh.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:14] Yeah, and I'm not going to do my joke about, well, there's a joke I used to tell that

[1:11:19] was very vulgar, but I felt was constructed very well.

[1:11:23] And a former coworker of mine ruined it by deliberately saying it wrong over and over again

[1:11:27] to the point where I can never say it again or even hear it.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:31] That coworker was a difficult human being, but I always enjoyed that gag when he ruined

[1:11:36] your joke.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:37] Yeah.

[1:11:38] You would go, again, again, do it more.

[1:11:40] Make him sadder.

[1:11:41] And I'd be like, Dan, but I thought we were friends.

[1:11:44] You accepted my friend request.

[1:11:45] And you're like, you're not invited to my birthday.

[1:11:47] And I killed all your other friends.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:49] Yeah.

[1:11:49] I'm a ghost now, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:53] So.

[1:11:53] Could you imagine if there's one person who thought they were really close to Laura and

[1:11:57] Marina is just not trying to kill them and they're like, come on, Laura, I thought we were

[1:12:01] really good friends.

[1:12:02] These are the jokes that should have been in the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:05] Yeah, it should have been.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:06] There's someone who's like, Laura, you were, like, you were the maid of honor at my wedding,

[1:12:12] but this demon is not trying to kill me.

[1:12:14] Are we not that close?

[1:12:15] And Laura's like, people drift apart.

[1:12:17] I'm sorry, Bethany.

[1:12:18] We're just not the close friends we were anymore.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:20] But maybe Laura's trying to save Bethany's life, you know?

[1:12:25] Oh, good point.

[1:12:26] I like it.

[1:12:27] Good point.

[1:12:27] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:29] We'll save it for friend request two.

[1:12:31] Request it again.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:32] Okay, let's move on to letters before Elliot says something again.

[1:12:36] Uh-huh.

[1:12:36] And this first letter is from Matthias.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:38] Hey, guys.

[1:12:39] What's that sound?

[1:12:40] It sounds like Elliot's saying something again.

[1:12:44] And what he's saying is that we're all friends in the end.

[1:12:47] Friends to the end.

[1:12:48] Friends around the band.

[1:12:50] So please, won't you accept my request?

[1:12:52] At your best.

[1:12:54] Open your chest and let me into your heart.

[1:12:57] As your friend.

[1:12:58] Let's never part.

[1:13:00] Till the end.

[1:13:01] Get my request and be friends.

[1:13:03] With the Flophouse letters.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:05] Thank you for that letter song.

[1:13:07] So this is from Matthias.

[1:13:08] Last name withheld.

[1:13:10] Who writes,

[1:13:11] Dear Floopers,

[1:13:13] he says he intended to write floppers,

[1:13:15] but his phone keyboard had a weird hiccup.

[1:13:16] Thanks for telling us.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:19] It certainly took less time than changing it manually.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:23] I'm currently listening my way through the back catalog

[1:13:25] and the intervals between new episodes.

[1:13:28] So I'm getting a full dose of flop energy.

[1:13:30] And being German,

[1:13:32] one reoccurring element I kept noticing

[1:13:33] is Stuart's excellent grasp of the German language

[1:13:36] and German pop culture.

[1:13:37] Hell yeah.

[1:13:38] Stuart,

[1:13:39] not only were you able to casually drop the original name

[1:13:41] of the three-penny opera,

[1:13:42] but you even offhandedly referred to the German hip-hop group

[1:13:46] Deichkind?

[1:13:47] Deichkind, dude.

[1:13:48] Okay.

[1:13:49] Who I don't think is internationally well-known.

[1:13:52] I'm sure you've mentioned it before,

[1:13:54] but do you speak the language

[1:13:55] or is this just a range of coincidences

[1:13:56] I'm more primed to notice?

[1:13:58] And as a question to the whole gang,

[1:14:00] are there German movies you particularly enjoy?

[1:14:02] To make it a bit harder,

[1:14:03] I'm going to exclude the smash hits

[1:14:05] such as Das Boot and Lives of Others

[1:14:08] or in order to preempt Elliot's answer,

[1:14:10] Metropolis and M.

[1:14:12] Greetings from a beautiful,

[1:14:13] autumnal southern Germany, Matthias.

[1:14:18] German film.

[1:14:19] Yeah.

[1:14:19] And also a question for Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:21] Yeah, let me jump right in here

[1:14:22] and answer some shit.

[1:14:25] Yeah, I studied German language in school

[1:14:30] and then I spent six months in school.

[1:14:34] I spent a semester studying in mainly Marburg, Berlin,

[1:14:39] and Wien.

[1:14:41] So yeah, and I won't shut up about it, right guys?

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:46] Stuart is always telling us about his time in Germany.

[1:14:48] It's exhausting.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:50] I never really liked bread or broat

[1:14:54] until I had some hurdy German schwarzbrot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:59] He's always like,

[1:15:01] excuse me,

[1:15:02] or should I say,

[1:15:03] entschuldigung.

[1:15:04] Thanks guys.

[1:15:05] Entschuldigung.

[1:15:07] But it's,

[1:15:08] yeah, but Stuart,

[1:15:09] yeah, he often tells legends

[1:15:10] about his time in Germany

[1:15:11] where I believe you were,

[1:15:14] what,

[1:15:14] what did they call you over there?

[1:15:16] Das Weiss Knight?

[1:15:17] The White Knight or something like that?

[1:15:19] And you would fight dragons and things?

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:21] I ate dragons and things.

[1:15:23] I was a real Siegfried type character.

[1:15:27] Siegfried from Soul Calibur,

[1:15:29] not the Nibling Slide.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:31] Oh, and not Siegfried from Siegfried and Roy?

[1:15:33] Well, I mean,

[1:15:34] kind of in between that,

[1:15:35] to be honest with you.

[1:15:37] Um,

[1:15:37] so,

[1:15:38] so German movies, huh?

[1:15:39] Stuart,

[1:15:39] what kind of German movies do you like?

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:40] Uh,

[1:15:41] I mean,

[1:15:42] uh,

[1:15:42] it might,

[1:15:43] I mean,

[1:15:43] this was an Academy Award winner,

[1:15:44] but I like,

[1:15:45] uh,

[1:15:45] Die Blechstrummel,

[1:15:46] uh,

[1:15:47] the tin drum.

[1:15:48] I also,

[1:15:49] I also like the novel.

[1:15:51] Uh,

[1:15:52] let me see.

[1:15:53] I feel like I've definitely seen

[1:15:54] some German horror movies

[1:15:55] that I've liked.

[1:15:56] Uh,

[1:15:57] and,

[1:15:57] uh,

[1:15:59] I like,

[1:15:59] Downfall was a German movie,

[1:16:01] right?

[1:16:01] With,

[1:16:01] uh,

[1:16:01] Bruno Gahn's Hitler performance

[1:16:03] that has been much,

[1:16:04] very much so.

[1:16:04] much memed.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:06] Uh,

[1:16:06] it's a crazy thing that it is,

[1:16:09] it is such an intense moment

[1:16:10] in a very intense movie about,

[1:16:12] in a very intense subject,

[1:16:13] and it's like,

[1:16:14] meme it,

[1:16:14] and it works so well as a meme.

[1:16:16] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:17] Yeah,

[1:16:18] what,

[1:16:18] I mean,

[1:16:18] that scene alone is like,

[1:16:20] the idea of seeing an actor

[1:16:21] having to work through that,

[1:16:23] and,

[1:16:23] I don't know,

[1:16:24] pretty great.

[1:16:24] Yeah.

[1:16:26] Uh,

[1:16:27] yeah,

[1:16:27] Dan,

Dan McCoy

[1:16:27] what were you gonna say?

[1:16:28] Uh,

[1:16:28] well,

[1:16:28] we actually brought it up

[1:16:29] earlier in the episode.

[1:16:31] I really like The Testament

[1:16:32] of Dr. Mabuse.

[1:16:34] That's,

[1:16:35] uh,

[1:16:35] that's a very good,

[1:16:36] uh,

[1:16:37] film.

[1:16:38] I,

[1:16:38] I actually don't remember

[1:16:39] a lot about it.

[1:16:40] I just remember loving it a lot,

[1:16:41] and I remember the scene

[1:16:42] where they're trapped

[1:16:44] in a room with a bomb,

[1:16:45] and they flood it,

[1:16:46] uh,

[1:16:47] to help themselves escape.

[1:16:49] Uh,

[1:16:49] and it's a very tense scene

[1:16:51] that you just sort of,

[1:16:52] like,

[1:16:53] in a way that people,

[1:16:54] I think,

[1:16:54] who aren't familiar with

[1:16:55] older movies wouldn't expect

[1:16:56] out of an older film.

[1:16:58] Um,

[1:16:59] but I also,

[1:16:59] I mean,

[1:17:00] I just like a lot of

[1:17:00] German expressionist films.

[1:17:02] I,

[1:17:02] I'm,

[1:17:03] some of them I like better

[1:17:04] in theory than in practice.

[1:17:06] Like,

[1:17:06] everyone talks about

[1:17:07] The Cabinet of Dr. Calgary,

[1:17:08] like,

[1:17:08] and I saw,

[1:17:09] like,

[1:17:09] pictures of sets

[1:17:11] in Cabinet of Dr. Calgary,

[1:17:12] and I'm like,

[1:17:12] this movie must be

[1:17:13] the greatest movie ever.

[1:17:14] And then I saw it,

[1:17:15] and I'm just like,

[1:17:16] okay,

[1:17:16] it's kind of boring.

[1:17:17] Like,

[1:17:17] I probably got off better.

[1:17:18] Keep that cabinet closed.

[1:17:20] Better just,

[1:17:20] it's fine to just see

[1:17:22] pictures of the sets

[1:17:23] and,

[1:17:24] and,

[1:17:24] and think about the movie,

[1:17:25] but.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:26] You thought it was

[1:17:26] The Cabinet of Dr. Calamari,

[1:17:28] and you were just thinking

[1:17:28] about all that delicious squid.

[1:17:30] Yeah.

[1:17:30] Uh,

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:30] I think you pronounced that wrong.

[1:17:33] It's Gadamod.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:34] Yeah,

[1:17:34] The Cabinet of Dr. Calamar.

[1:17:37] That's,

[1:17:37] yeah,

[1:17:37] in,

[1:17:38] in New Jersey,

[1:17:38] they say The Cabinet of Dr. Caligar.

[1:17:41] Cabinet of Dr. Gabagool.

[1:17:45] Now,

[1:17:45] there's a movie that I would see.

[1:17:47] Actually,

[1:17:47] I,

[1:17:48] I feel differently than Gabagool.

[1:17:49] Actually,

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:49] I love Gabagool.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:51] I like The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari,

[1:17:53] but I feel that way actually about Nosferatu.

[1:17:55] I've always found Nosferatu to be a boring movie.

[1:17:57] But the images that,

[1:17:58] the still image is really scary.

[1:17:59] I'm going to mention,

[1:18:00] uh,

[1:18:01] to get something a little more modern here,

[1:18:02] because everyone expects me to say an old one,

[1:18:03] I really liked Goodbye Lenin,

[1:18:05] when that came out.

[1:18:06] Right.

[1:18:06] About,

[1:18:06] uh,

[1:18:07] it's that family in East Germany

[1:18:08] when the wall is coming down,

[1:18:10] where the kids

[1:18:12] try to

[1:18:13] kind of not,

[1:18:14] make,

[1:18:14] make it so their mother does not know

[1:18:16] that East Germany is essentially collapsing.

[1:18:18] And,

[1:18:18] uh,

[1:18:19] as a way of making her feel better

[1:18:20] towards the end of her life.

[1:18:22] Uh,

[1:18:22] and I liked that movie,

[1:18:23] and I felt like,

[1:18:24] it seemed,

[1:18:24] and not that I experienced that moment in person.

[1:18:27] I was just a kid when it happened,

[1:18:28] and I was not living in Germany,

[1:18:29] but it felt like it captured the feeling of like,

[1:18:32] oh,

[1:18:32] like,

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:33] there's something really amazing is happening,

[1:18:35] and life is changing in a way that seems like it's going to be much better.

[1:18:38] Obviously,

[1:18:38] life is messy,

[1:18:39] but I thought it really captured that moment really nicely.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:42] Okay,

[1:18:43] well,

[1:18:43] moving on,

[1:18:44] uh,

[1:18:44] this next letter is from J.

[1:18:45] Elliott,

[1:18:46] last name withheld.

[1:18:47] Mm-hmm.

[1:18:48] Who writes?

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:49] He has a secret identity.

[1:18:50] Maybe you can guess from the middle name.

[1:18:52] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:53] He writes,

[1:18:54] hello,

[1:18:54] my sweet-

[1:18:55] Just kidding.

[1:18:55] Hello,

[1:18:56] my sweet boys.

[1:18:56] I got sober about 10 years ago.

[1:18:58] Mm-hmm.

[1:18:59] Congratulations.

[1:19:00] Yes,

[1:19:00] and during the recovery process,

[1:19:02] I met some truly amazing people for whom alcoholism slash addiction turned out to be a fatal condition.

[1:19:08] After living through the deaths of these friends,

[1:19:10] I found myself completely humorless when it came to jokes about,

[1:19:13] or a glib handling of,

[1:19:15] drunks,

[1:19:15] addicts,

[1:19:15] or recovery in general.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:17] So,

[1:19:17] sorry for large chunks of this podcast.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:20] I had never before lost my sense of humor about any subject,

[1:19:23] and until it happened to me,

[1:19:25] I never thought it could happen to me.

[1:19:26] So,

[1:19:27] I guess my question is,

[1:19:27] has anything similar ever happened to you?

[1:19:30] Are there any subjects you just can't laugh about anymore?

[1:19:32] Have you ever lost respect for an artist or their work due to their tone-deaf handling of a subject you are sensitive to?

[1:19:38] Yours in floppy to,

[1:19:39] J. Elliot,

[1:19:40] last name withheld.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:43] Sensitive question.

[1:19:44] I mean,

[1:19:44] we end up talking about stuff like this kind of regularly,

[1:19:48] I feel.

[1:19:49] I mean,

[1:19:49] both on the show and also,

[1:19:51] I mean,

[1:19:51] I find myself talking about it a lot in just,

[1:19:54] in life at the bar.

[1:19:56] I'm sorry to bring up bars.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:00] You're a real Whoopi Goldberg in Next Generation type,

[1:20:03] who's always talking to people about what's going on in their lives.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:05] Yeah,

[1:20:06] Guy Nan's like,

[1:20:07] so how do you separate art from the artist?

[1:20:15] Sorry,

Dan McCoy

[1:20:15] Dan got nervous and was looking at our,

[1:20:17] our,

[1:20:17] Oh yeah,

[1:20:18] yeah,

[1:20:18] I was just checking up on our.

[1:20:19] Okay.

[1:20:20] Um,

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:21] I mean,

[1:20:22] yeah,

[1:20:23] there's definitely stuff.

[1:20:24] Uh,

[1:20:25] I don't know.

[1:20:26] Lately,

[1:20:26] uh,

[1:20:27] lately I've,

[1:20:28] I get bothered more and more when,

[1:20:31] uh,

[1:20:31] comedies just lazily,

[1:20:34] uh,

[1:20:35] like fall back because,

[1:20:36] because people have become slightly more enlightened and realize that certain subjects are not okay to make fun of.

[1:20:46] It seems like they,

[1:20:47] uh,

[1:20:48] some comedians and comedy writers fall back on classism more often than I'd like.

[1:20:53] And it kind of bugs me because like just doing like a poor Southern accent is not that,

[1:20:59] that alone is not a joke.

[1:21:01] And,

[1:21:02] uh,

[1:21:02] I don't know.

[1:21:03] I feel like classism sometimes fall.

[1:21:05] It just,

[1:21:06] it seems like it's still an okay thing to make jokes about.

[1:21:08] And,

[1:21:09] uh,

[1:21:10] like,

[1:21:11] like being poor is a choice or something.

[1:21:13] And that,

[1:21:14] that bums me out.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:15] Yeah.

[1:21:15] I don't have anything that comes from like the same sort of tragic place that,

[1:21:19] uh,

[1:21:20] the letter writer is talking about,

[1:21:21] but I do feel like I have never particularly liked when,

[1:21:28] uh,

[1:21:29] comedies put,

[1:21:30] uh,

[1:21:31] guys in drag.

[1:21:32] And like the joke is just like that.

[1:21:35] They're men wearing women's clothes or they're like men trying to be ladies.

[1:21:39] Like that,

[1:21:40] that has never been particularly funny to me even before I became slightly more enlightened than I was as a young person.

[1:21:48] But like now with sort of trans issues and like the idea of gender spectrums,

[1:21:55] like I find it even more off-putting,

[1:21:58] like to just posit that as a joke.

[1:22:01] Like,

[1:22:02] Oh,

[1:22:02] guys in,

[1:22:03] in,

[1:22:03] in a woman's clothes,

[1:22:06] you know?

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:08] Yeah.

[1:22:09] I,

[1:22:10] I think,

[1:22:10] uh,

[1:22:11] there's something about like when a,

[1:22:14] when a TV show or a movie kills someone as a joke,

[1:22:17] like if a death is kind of tossed off very casually,

[1:22:20] like can work in the right type of thing,

[1:22:23] but it happens too much.

[1:22:24] And I think in a weird way,

[1:22:27] it's like just only mainly just growing up,

[1:22:30] but like becoming a parent has,

[1:22:32] it's like,

[1:22:32] Oh,

[1:22:32] I've,

[1:22:33] I see how easy it is for people to get hurt,

[1:22:35] you know?

[1:22:35] And there's people that I really worry about all the time.

[1:22:38] And so it's hard for me to watch something and not be like,

[1:22:41] who's the person that this is happening to?

[1:22:42] There was a,

[1:22:43] this is not a movie TV show,

[1:22:44] but there was a meme that was going around recently,

[1:22:45] which was just people retweeting the headline.

[1:22:49] Neanderthal child was,

[1:22:51] you know,

[1:22:51] bones say Neanderthal child was devoured by a giant bird or something like

[1:22:55] that.

[1:22:55] And the meme was literally just people retweeting that headline and people

[1:22:59] be commenting and making jokes off of it.

[1:23:01] And I was like,

[1:23:02] I mean,

[1:23:02] even if this happened thousands of years ago,

[1:23:04] this is still a joke about a child dying.

[1:23:06] Like this is,

[1:23:07] and not a,

[1:23:08] not a,

[1:23:09] not like a,

[1:23:10] like a fictional child,

[1:23:10] like,

[1:23:11] which would be bad enough,

[1:23:11] like a real human being,

[1:23:13] like a Neanderthal,

[1:23:14] but a real human of a sort,

[1:23:16] like was a,

[1:23:17] was a child and was died at some point and was either eaten by a bird or

[1:23:21] killed by a bird.

[1:23:22] And it was like,

[1:23:22] I don't,

[1:23:23] I just don't see where,

[1:23:24] like,

[1:23:24] I don't,

[1:23:24] I don't see where the joke is,

[1:23:26] you know?

[1:23:26] And it's like,

[1:23:27] we,

[1:23:28] we had that,

[1:23:29] you know,

[1:23:29] recently we,

[1:23:29] we were doing a pretty harsh takedown of true crime stories of podcasts.

[1:23:33] It's a little bit of that where it's like,

[1:23:35] it's hard for me not to put myself in the position of the person

[1:23:38] who cares about this person that this thing happened to.

[1:23:41] Even if it's like an extra in a,

[1:23:43] like I've been,

[1:23:44] I was reading a comic book recently where the main character was just kind of

[1:23:47] like in a funny way,

[1:23:48] just like casually murdering bystanders because they're an assassin.

[1:23:51] I was like,

[1:23:51] uh,

[1:23:52] this makes my tummy hurt.

[1:23:53] I don't like this.

[1:23:53] Like,

[1:23:54] this is not something that I,

[1:23:55] that I'm enjoying.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:57] Uh,

[1:23:58] and though we didn't particularly touch on examples of,

[1:24:01] uh,

[1:24:02] you know,

[1:24:03] like people,

[1:24:04] artists that we admire who have bad takes on things,

[1:24:07] uh,

[1:24:08] since we,

[1:24:09] we kind of went vague.

[1:24:11] Uh,

[1:24:11] one of the things that,

[1:24:12] uh,

[1:24:12] one of the things that I,

[1:24:13] uh,

[1:24:14] over the last few years only got made aware of is the amount of like,

[1:24:17] of,

[1:24:18] uh,

[1:24:19] turfs basically,

[1:24:20] you know,

[1:24:21] like trans exclusionary radical feminists within the British comedy community.

[1:24:25] And there's a lot of British comedy that I like,

[1:24:27] and it is a little distressing that,

[1:24:29] uh,

[1:24:30] whether,

[1:24:31] whether or not it's specific takes from specific artists,

[1:24:35] or it's just that I now associate a lot of those,

[1:24:39] uh,

[1:24:39] that scene with that,

[1:24:40] those attitudes,

[1:24:41] it makes it kind of hard for me to be excited and seek out like British comedy

[1:24:46] shows.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:47] Oh yeah.

[1:24:48] I mean the best thing you can do if you want to enjoy any sort of comedy is

[1:24:51] never learn anything about the people who make it.

[1:24:53] Yeah.

[1:24:54] And anything,

[1:24:54] or listen to them outside of the work they're doing.

[1:24:56] And if,

[1:24:57] and then hopefully inside the work,

[1:24:58] they won't say things you don't like,

[1:25:00] but what are you going to do?

[1:25:01] I would say,

[1:25:02] uh,

[1:25:02] this is not exactly answering the question,

[1:25:04] but like I go back and forth a lot with Quentin Tarantino where it's like,

[1:25:08] I'm a fan of some,

[1:25:08] so much of his work,

[1:25:09] but there's so much problematic stuff,

[1:25:11] even in movies that I like,

[1:25:13] like I like inglorious bastards,

[1:25:14] but there's parts of it where I'm like,

[1:25:16] this is ragingly insensitive.

[1:25:18] To the actual thing that you're handling.

[1:25:20] Yeah.

[1:25:21] And I have to tell myself,

[1:25:22] this is a movie about movies.

[1:25:23] This is not a movie about people or real history or real life,

[1:25:26] because there's,

[1:25:27] there's a bunch of parts where in that movie,

[1:25:29] where Quentin Tarantino is taking on the mantle of Jewish revenge against the

[1:25:33] Nazis.

[1:25:33] And it's like,

[1:25:34] this is a more complicated situation than I think you're going to be able to handle in this movie.

[1:25:39] Quentin,

[1:25:39] like,

[1:25:39] I know that you probably mean well,

[1:25:43] but this is,

[1:25:44] there's,

[1:25:45] there's a lot going on here that you are stirring up that is not,

[1:25:48] doesn't fit what you're doing.

[1:25:50] You know,

[1:25:50] doesn't,

[1:25:50] doesn't work right.

[1:25:51] But I just have to,

[1:25:52] I have to tell myself,

[1:25:53] like,

[1:25:53] he is working with tropes and he's not really thinking too deeply beyond that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:58] And at the same time,

[1:25:59] I can understand people that are put off by that insensitivity and cannot accept it and will not appreciate him as an artist.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:07] Oh yeah.

[1:26:07] I mean,

[1:26:08] there's,

[1:26:08] there is no artist that I feel so passionately that they're amazing that if someone was like,

[1:26:14] there's a thing in that movie that just,

[1:26:15] I,

[1:26:15] I can't handle it because of this other thing.

[1:26:18] I,

[1:26:18] there's no artist where I'd be like,

[1:26:19] well,

[1:26:19] you're wrong.

[1:26:20] Change the way you feel about things.

[1:26:22] Like this is,

[1:26:23] what are you missing from your life?

[1:26:24] It's the same way.

[1:26:25] There was a time once,

[1:26:26] and this is not exactly the same thing where we did a flop house live show.

[1:26:30] And I mentioned at one point that I had not seen any episodes of community and the audience booed me.

[1:26:34] And it was like,

[1:26:35] it was like,

[1:26:36] dudes,

[1:26:37] if you are so obsessed with this thing that you can't even handle that,

[1:26:40] I haven't gotten around to seeing it that I didn't even say I didn't like it.

[1:26:44] I can't say I didn't like it because I've never seen it.

[1:26:46] If you'd like,

[1:26:46] then that's,

[1:26:47] then that's not my problem.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:48] I'm really,

[1:26:48] I'm really glad that I didn't get to say I didn't like community.

[1:26:52] It would have torn me to pieces.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:54] Oh,

[1:26:55] it would have been like the end of the Bacchae.

[1:26:57] You would have just been ripped to shreds and your head paraded around the town.

[1:27:00] But I would have had a smile on my face.

[1:27:05] They're tearing your body apart.

[1:27:06] And you're like,

[1:27:07] worth it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:07] I just said,

[1:27:08] I love making hot takes.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:10] Speaking of which,

[1:27:11] like talking about a guy who like,

[1:27:13] it's harder to enjoy his stuff now.

[1:27:15] Dan Harmon.

[1:27:16] Dan Harmon.

[1:27:17] Yeah.

[1:27:18] Like,

[1:27:18] I like all his shows pretty much,

[1:27:20] but,

[1:27:20] uh,

[1:27:21] boy,

[1:27:21] he's not a,

[1:27:21] not a good guy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:24] When,

[1:27:24] from what I understand.

[1:27:26] And certainly has,

[1:27:27] has had a,

[1:27:28] a famous,

[1:27:29] is a famously abrasive person.

[1:27:31] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:33] Anyway.

[1:27:33] So,

[1:27:33] uh,

[1:27:34] I guess what we're saying is,

[1:27:35] it's a,

[1:27:35] there's a,

[1:27:36] there's a certain part of me that always feels like it is up to a specific person to understand what is,

[1:27:40] what is okay with them and what's not okay with them.

[1:27:43] Yeah.

[1:27:43] You know,

[1:27:44] nobody can,

[1:27:44] nobody can tell you,

[1:27:45] you need to be okay with this thing.

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:47] And I,

[1:27:47] I mean,

[1:27:47] I think that's,

[1:27:48] uh,

[1:27:49] an important part of being a responsible appreciator of like pop culture and media is to hold it up to some kind of standard and to determine what your standards are.

[1:27:58] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:00] Uh,

[1:28:00] one last.

[1:28:01] Or if you're Dan,

[1:28:02] you call them dandards.

[1:28:03] Uh,

[1:28:05] yeah.

[1:28:06] Dandards?

[1:28:07] Do you get a joke,

[1:28:08] Dan?

[1:28:08] I inflict my personal brand on the English language as often as possible.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:12] Yeah.

[1:28:12] Or as you call it,

[1:28:13] your personal Dan.

[1:28:15] Yep.

[1:28:16] It's very confusing because he'll be like,

[1:28:18] oh yeah,

[1:28:18] I had to get a birthday present or birth Dan present.

[1:28:20] So I went to the McCoy store,

[1:28:22] toy store,

[1:28:23] and I'm like,

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:23] just use the same words we all use,

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:25] Dan.

[1:28:25] It's very confusing.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:29] Look,

[1:28:29] you're talking about it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:31] Yeah,

[1:28:31] that's true.

[1:28:32] Yeah.

[1:28:32] At least we're talking about it.

[1:28:33] He's like,

[1:28:33] I need to get some fried chicken.

[1:28:35] So I went to McCoy Rogers.

[1:28:36] Wait,

[1:28:36] okay,

[1:28:37] let me do the math.

[1:28:38] Oh,

[1:28:38] Roy Rogers.

[1:28:39] Okay.

[1:28:39] It's like everything is Cockney rhyming slang with Dan.

[1:28:41] Wasn't that,

[1:28:41] just these two words.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:43] Wasn't that,

[1:28:43] uh,

[1:28:44] wasn't that a bit on,

[1:28:45] uh,

[1:28:45] on friends where Joey kept calling his Adam's apple a Joey's apple?

[1:28:52] You got me friends.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:54] Oh boy.

[1:28:55] It's not a bad joke.

[1:28:56] Um,

[1:28:57] one last letter that,

[1:28:59] uh,

[1:29:01] it's from Neil last name with hell.

[1:29:02] Oh,

[1:29:02] I see a wry smile on your lips.

[1:29:05] Hi flop stars.

[1:29:07] I've been really struggling with my belly flops lately.

[1:29:10] I'm mostly over rotating into a traditional dive posture,

[1:29:13] but occasionally landing feet first.

[1:29:14] Uh huh.

[1:29:15] Wondering if you have any advice for splash maximization.

[1:29:20] Uh,

[1:29:20] you know,

[1:29:21] I find that when you're belly flopping,

[1:29:22] just,

[1:29:23] just don't think about it too much.

[1:29:24] No.

[1:29:25] Okay.

[1:29:25] That's how it works.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:27] Uh,

[1:29:27] say that again,

[1:29:28] Dan,

[1:29:28] but more like a song.

[1:29:29] That's how it works.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:31] Okay.

[1:29:31] Oh,

[1:29:32] classic.

[1:29:33] Uh,

[1:29:33] yeah,

[1:29:33] I guess,

[1:29:33] I guess what Dan's saying,

[1:29:34] which I would agree with is when it comes to belly flops,

[1:29:37] uh,

[1:29:37] gravity is your friend.

[1:29:38] Don't fight it.

[1:29:39] Your body's going to want to fight it because the feeling of falling through space is one

[1:29:43] that your body is not crazy about because evolutionarily in terms of man's ancient history,

[1:29:49] it would mean you were about to plummet to your death,

[1:29:51] but you want it to happen.

[1:29:52] So you got to fight that instinct and really give yourself over to gravity.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:54] Elliot's,

[1:29:55] uh,

[1:29:55] paraphrasing the main monologue from the movie gravity,

[1:29:58] everybody.

[1:29:59] Uh,

[1:30:02] and I would say,

[1:30:03] uh,

[1:30:04] you know,

[1:30:05] I,

[1:30:05] I don't,

[1:30:06] I don't want to surprise anybody.

[1:30:07] Hold on to your hats.

[1:30:08] But,

[1:30:09] uh,

[1:30:09] when I'm trying to get maximum splash,

[1:30:12] I usually,

[1:30:13] uh,

[1:30:13] I usually opt for a can opener instead of a belly flop.

[1:30:16] I know it's crazy,

[1:30:17] right?

[1:30:17] I just feel like,

[1:30:18] uh,

[1:30:18] I get a little more splash zone.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:21] So I hope that helps you with that totally,

[1:30:23] uh,

[1:30:24] sincere,

[1:30:25] non-ironic question.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:26] Mm-hmm.

[1:30:27] Take that.

[1:30:28] Letter writer.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:29] Uh,

[1:30:30] hey guys,

[1:30:30] this is the time of the podcast where we usually recommend movies that we liked,

[1:30:34] movies that probably you should watch instead of the one that we watched.

[1:30:38] Mm-hmm.

[1:30:38] Um,

[1:30:39] I got one.

[1:30:40] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:41] I saw,

[1:30:42] I didn't rip it,

[1:30:43] Dan.

[1:30:43] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:44] I will grip it.

[1:30:45] And then subsequently I will rip it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:48] I'm not a fan of that phrase.

[1:30:49] And I've never fully understood what it means.

[1:30:51] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:51] I just know I don't like it,

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:53] but in a different way,

[1:30:54] then I've never really liked kick the tires,

[1:30:56] light the fires.

[1:30:57] That's another one.

[1:30:57] I'm not a fan of,

[1:30:58] but not for the same reason.

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:00] Okay.

[1:31:01] Stop burning all those tires.

[1:31:02] It's bad for the environment,

[1:31:03] dude.

[1:31:03] Exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:04] But on the other hand,

[1:31:05] bag it and tag it,

[1:31:06] which should be horrifying to me.

[1:31:07] I'm like,

[1:31:08] all right,

[1:31:08] okay.

[1:31:09] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:10] You put your groceries in a bag and then you slap a tag on it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:13] Yeah.

[1:31:13] Yep.

[1:31:14] To be,

[1:31:14] so to know which house it's going to be delivered to.

[1:31:16] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:18] Um,

[1:31:18] I've almost forgotten what movie I was going to talk about.

[1:31:21] Okay.

[1:31:21] Well,

[1:31:21] you can do it now.

[1:31:22] Uh,

[1:31:23] it's called hold the dark,

[1:31:25] hold the dark.

[1:31:26] It's a Netflix movie.

[1:31:28] That's the Spider-Man one.

[1:31:30] What?

[1:31:30] Spider-Man movie.

[1:31:31] Yeah.

[1:31:33] It was a movie that was acquired by Netflix.

[1:31:35] JK,

[1:31:35] JK.

[1:31:36] I thought it wasn't developed by Netflix.

[1:31:38] It was acquired.

[1:31:39] Well,

[1:31:40] I don't fucking know,

[1:31:41] man.

[1:31:41] Okay.

[1:31:41] One or the other.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:42] I love,

[1:31:43] I love the fourth degree that,

[1:31:45] uh,

[1:31:45] that Stuart's giving you right now.

[1:31:47] Just,

[1:31:47] uh,

[1:31:48] one more thing.

[1:31:48] It's a Netflix movie.

[1:31:49] One way or the other is a Netflix movie.

[1:31:51] What?

[1:31:52] Um,

[1:31:54] uh,

[1:31:55] so,

[1:31:55] uh,

[1:31:55] let me,

[1:31:56] so they caught this flick in a net.

[1:31:58] Oh,

[1:31:59] that makes sense.

[1:31:59] That makes sense.

[1:32:02] Uh,

[1:32:02] so hold the dark.

[1:32:03] It stars Jeffrey Wright.

[1:32:04] It stars Jeffrey Wright.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:05] I saw it in the theaters cause I liked the guy.

[1:32:08] So the director,

[1:32:09] Jeremy Saul may so much that I was like,

[1:32:11] who cares if I can see this for free at home?

[1:32:14] I'm going to go out to the movie theaters.

[1:32:16] I'm going to pay my money.

[1:32:16] I'm going to see it on a big screen.

[1:32:18] It's the same guy who made blue ruin and green.

[1:32:21] Room and murder party and murder party.

[1:32:23] Yeah.

[1:32:23] That's another great one actually,

[1:32:24] uh,

[1:32:25] that people forget about.

[1:32:27] Uh,

[1:32:27] and it's about like you just now.

[1:32:30] It's about Jeffrey Wright is a writer.

[1:32:33] He has been called to a remote town in Alaska by a mother who has had her child taken by wolves and she wants him to kill the wolf that took the child.

[1:32:45] And there's a lot more to the story than that.

[1:32:47] But I will not ruin any of the,

[1:32:49] the actual developments.

[1:32:51] That's just the setup.

[1:32:52] Uh,

[1:32:53] uh,

[1:32:53] and it contains a sink sequence in the middle.

[1:32:57] That is one of the most harrowing sequences.

[1:33:00] I think I've seen in a movie and it,

[1:33:03] it made me feel like viscerally,

[1:33:04] like I was in the action in a way that was very disquieting.

[1:33:09] And,

[1:33:09] um,

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:10] and he's a,

[1:33:10] he's a director who both,

[1:33:14] I mean,

[1:33:14] Sony,

[1:33:15] Sony air,

[1:33:16] Sony a seems to like,

[1:33:17] he,

[1:33:18] he both has,

[1:33:19] he makes violent movies and he makes the violence so tense and unpalatable and gross.

[1:33:27] Uh,

[1:33:28] that,

[1:33:29] and like,

[1:33:30] and,

[1:33:31] and like thoughtless,

[1:33:32] like,

[1:33:33] it feels like,

[1:33:34] like it,

[1:33:35] it feels like such a pointless thing,

[1:33:37] even if there is some catharsis at the end,

[1:33:39] which question mark as to whether or not this movie gives it to you.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:42] Yeah,

[1:33:43] I would say,

[1:33:43] I was going to say,

[1:33:44] um,

[1:33:45] this movie has gotten,

[1:33:46] I think slightly worse reviews than either of his preceding,

[1:33:50] uh,

[1:33:52] films.

[1:33:53] There were,

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:53] cause this,

[1:33:54] and he's paired with Macon Blair,

[1:33:56] who was the star of some of his other movies and also the writer of his like writing partner.

[1:34:02] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:03] Uh,

[1:34:04] and I,

[1:34:04] I would say that this movie for me,

[1:34:06] I enjoyed it about as much as the other,

[1:34:10] like I really liked it,

[1:34:11] but I could,

[1:34:12] I can see where people are coming from in that,

[1:34:14] like,

[1:34:15] there's a lot less humor in this movie than the previous couple of films and certainly less than Murder Party,

[1:34:20] which has a lot of humor in it.

[1:34:22] Um,

[1:34:22] and it doesn't give you a lot of catharsis at the end of this,

[1:34:26] the film.

[1:34:27] It,

[1:34:27] it,

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:28] it's also,

[1:34:28] it's a slower burn.

[1:34:30] Yeah.

[1:34:30] Than the other movies.

[1:34:31] It,

[1:34:32] it takes its time in a way.

[1:34:33] The other movies,

[1:34:33] the other movies are not super speedy,

[1:34:36] but I feel like they move at a,

[1:34:38] at a more,

Dan McCoy

[1:34:38] at a brisker pace.

[1:34:40] Yeah.

[1:34:40] That's actually,

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:41] I mean,

[1:34:41] I haven't finished the movie yet.

[1:34:42] And one of the things I'm struggling with,

[1:34:43] with it is that it's moving a little slowly for me.

[1:34:46] Oh,

[1:34:46] I found it.

[1:34:46] Maybe I just need to give myself up to it.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:48] I found it hypnotic in that way.

[1:34:50] And probably it helped that I saw it in the theater where you can give yourself full attention to something rather than.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:55] I mean,

[1:34:56] the best way to watch it isn't the way I've been doing it while I do my dishes on an iPad with the kitchen lights on.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:01] Could be that that wasn't what the direction intended.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:03] And I,

[1:35:03] I'll also give the movie props for featuring,

[1:35:06] featuring a super dope tune by a Polish black metal band,

[1:35:10] Evil Feast.

[1:35:12] I guess.

[1:35:13] I'll give it props for that too.

[1:35:14] You didn't pick that up?

[1:35:15] No.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:17] What I like to give it props for is that Jeffrey Wright plays a writer,

[1:35:20] which leads me to believe there should be a movie where everyone plays jobs based on their names.

[1:35:24] So like Jeffrey might be a writer.

[1:35:26] Jeff Bridges would be a Bridger.

[1:35:27] Someone who makes Bridges.

[1:35:28] We got a,

[1:35:28] yeah,

[1:35:29] we got a ratzenburger here.

[1:35:31] Yeah.

[1:35:31] Billy Crystal will be a,

[1:35:33] would be a jeweler.

[1:35:34] That guy makes burgers out of rats.

[1:35:38] Yeah,

[1:35:38] dude,

[1:35:38] come on.

[1:35:40] Yeah,

[1:35:40] of course.

[1:35:42] And Craig T.

[1:35:43] Nelson would be the lead singer of the band,

[1:35:45] Nelson.

[1:35:46] I thought he was.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:49] It's him and his brother,

[1:35:50] John T.

[1:35:51] Nelson.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:52] Kevin Bacon would be like a pig farmer or a butcher.

[1:35:55] Okay.

[1:35:57] Well,

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:57] anyway,

[1:35:57] that's my,

[1:35:57] you'll probably think about a few more before the end of the episode.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:00] Oh,

[1:36:01] you know it.

[1:36:01] And I'll,

[1:36:01] I'll interrupt whatever else we're doing.

[1:36:03] Uh,

[1:36:04] okay.

[1:36:04] Well,

Dan McCoy

[1:36:05] fictional character,

[1:36:05] Jessica Fletcher would play.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:08] Yeah.

[1:36:09] Would make,

[1:36:09] would make,

[1:36:10] well,

[1:36:10] I thought Fletcher made arrows.

[1:36:11] that's right.

[1:36:11] I'm sorry.

[1:36:13] Uh,

[1:36:14] but it could be,

[1:36:14] but someone,

[1:36:15] uh,

[1:36:15] but,

[1:36:15] uh,

[1:36:16] Tom Baker would be a Baker.

[1:36:18] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:19] Mm.

[1:36:19] Adele would be a computer.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:26] What a different world would be if dude,

[1:36:28] you're getting Adele meant that Adele was going to perform a concert at your house.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:31] Oh man.

[1:36:32] Uh,

[1:36:33] so,

[1:36:33] so I'm going to continue this trend.

[1:36:37] I'm going to recommend another movie from a,

[1:36:39] uh,

[1:36:40] indie auteur director who released a movie on Netflix just now.

[1:36:45] Uh,

[1:36:45] I'm recommending apostle,

[1:36:48] the new movie by Gareth Evans,

[1:36:49] uh,

[1:36:50] the director of the raid,

[1:36:51] the raid two,

[1:36:52] uh,

[1:36:53] and a very stirring,

[1:36:55] uh,

[1:36:55] section of which one was that VHS two.

[1:36:58] I think that's the one.

[1:36:59] Um,

[1:37:00] and it is a,

[1:37:03] uh,

[1:37:03] well,

[1:37:03] when I saw ads for it,

[1:37:04] I kind of assumed it was a movie that was made just for me.

[1:37:09] Cause it's the raid director directing my man,

[1:37:11] Dan Stevens.

[1:37:14] Uh,

[1:37:14] and it is a period piece where a man with a troubled past has to go,

[1:37:19] uh,

[1:37:20] rescue his sister who has been abducted by an evil cult.

[1:37:24] Uh,

[1:37:25] and it basically is kind of like a,

[1:37:28] and there's scenes of extreme violence.

[1:37:30] Uh,

[1:37:31] and it's kind of like if somebody made a more violent version of the wicker man

[1:37:36] crossed with the silent hill video games.

[1:37:39] So check it out.

[1:37:41] Uh,

[1:37:41] and Michael Sheen's in it too.

[1:37:42] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:44] I love if that's what the poster said.

[1:37:47] It's like,

[1:37:47] Oh,

[1:37:47] and Michael Sheen's in it too.

[1:37:49] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:51] Uh,

[1:37:52] two great recommendations that I will now recommend.

[1:37:55] Also a great movie,

[1:37:56] but a different kind of movie.

[1:37:57] You guys may remember a few episodes back.

[1:37:59] I recommended the movie Tempopo directed by Juzo Itami.

[1:38:03] And recently I saw his first movie,

[1:38:05] which is called The Funeral.

[1:38:06] Uh,

[1:38:07] and it's a movie that you might call like process drama because it's very much

[1:38:12] about the process of a family planning and pulling off,

[1:38:16] pulling off like it's a heist,

[1:38:17] a movie,

[1:38:17] a family planning and then going through a funeral for the grandfather family.

[1:38:22] But it's both very funny at times and very serious and sad at times.

[1:38:26] But it's like,

[1:38:27] you're watching,

[1:38:29] it's more like a portrait of a family than anything else.

[1:38:31] We're kind of dipping into the lives of each of the members of the family

[1:38:33] in ways that show you things about them,

[1:38:36] but there's no like big dramatic confrontation.

[1:38:37] At one point you learn one of the characters is having an affair.

[1:38:40] And that's something that it just informs everything they do from that moment.

[1:38:44] But it's not like leading up to some big reveal where everyone finds out,

[1:38:49] you know,

[1:38:49] in the middle of the funeral and it's either hilarious or heart wrenching or

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:52] something.

[1:38:53] So not a,

[1:38:53] not a plot heavy adventure is what you're saying.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:56] No,

[1:38:57] yeah,

[1:38:57] this is not a,

[1:38:58] this is not a plot heavy quest.

[1:38:59] Uh,

[1:39:00] it's not a,

[1:39:00] it's not a roller coaster thrill ride,

[1:39:02] but I found it to be really touch,

[1:39:05] alternately really touching and just very interesting to see the family.

[1:39:08] Partly if you have any interest in how a traditional Japanese funeral is pulled

[1:39:11] off,

[1:39:12] which is something I didn't know anything about.

[1:39:13] That's interesting,

[1:39:14] but it's everyone in is really good.

[1:39:16] And the characters are really strongly drawn in their moments.

[1:39:19] And I just,

[1:39:20] I thought it was,

[1:39:21] I really enjoyed being able to kind of like experience this with this family.

[1:39:26] And there's a speech that the grandmother at the end gives.

[1:39:29] It's her husband too,

[1:39:30] who they're having the funeral for that is so like,

[1:39:33] like kind of plain spokenly emotional and like heart rending in a way that is a lot of the movie is,

[1:39:39] I guess,

[1:39:39] about the struck,

[1:39:41] the kind of forms of Japanese,

[1:39:42] uh,

[1:39:43] ceremonies and how the family has to keep contorting itself to do what is proper and right for a funeral,

[1:39:49] even if it is stressful or not how they're feeling at the moment.

[1:39:54] Or there's a scene where they're literally watching a videotape.

[1:39:56] That's about how you're supposed to talk to people at a funeral that you're,

[1:39:59] that you're holding or attending.

[1:40:01] And she gives this speech at the end that is so like kind of nakedly personal.

[1:40:05] And I just found it really super moving and really beautiful.

[1:40:08] So the funeral,

[1:40:09] but not to be confused with Abel Ferreira's gangster movie,

[1:40:12] the funeral,

[1:40:13] which is a very different movie.

[1:40:14] This is the funeral,

[1:40:15] the Japanese.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:16] Yeah.

[1:40:16] I should clarify the movie.

[1:40:18] I recommended apostle should not be confused with the Robert Duvall movie,

[1:40:22] the apostle,

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:22] which is still a good movie.

[1:40:24] Yeah.

[1:40:24] You could watch,

[1:40:25] you could do a double feature.

[1:40:29] Whereas Dan calls them Danble features.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:32] Uh,

[1:40:33] and a hold the dark shouldn't be confused with,

[1:40:35] I don't know,

[1:40:36] the darkest hour.

[1:40:37] Oh,

[1:40:38] that's the best I could come up with.

[1:40:40] Okay.

[1:40:41] Sure.

[1:40:41] Okay.

[1:40:42] Academy dancer in the dark.

[1:40:43] No.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:45] Uh,

[1:40:45] darkness falls.

[1:40:46] Darkness falls.

[1:40:47] The most ironically named town in history.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:50] It shouldn't be,

[1:40:51] it shouldn't be confused with hold the mayonnaise,

[1:40:53] which is what I would say if I was ordering a sandwich at a deli.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:56] Why would you hold the mayonnaise?

[1:40:58] Uh,

[1:40:58] shouldn't it go on the sandwich and not in your hand?

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:01] No,

[1:41:01] I want to hold it so I can use that as a lubricant for my own purposes later.

[1:41:05] Okay.

[1:41:06] Depending on how good the sandwich is.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:09] Okay.

[1:41:10] Would you make sure to tell the deli man so that he does his best work?

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:14] I'm like,

[1:41:14] deli man,

[1:41:15] if this sandwich is as good as I think it's going to be,

[1:41:17] then I'm going to show my appreciation in a way that you might not expect.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:21] Wow.

[1:41:22] Wow.

[1:41:22] That's the,

[1:41:23] uh,

[1:41:23] like clickbait headline.

[1:41:24] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:27] This,

[1:41:27] this,

[1:41:28] this deli sandwich was great and you'll never guess what happened next.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:32] Well,

[1:41:33] I'm like,

[1:41:33] why does this have a picture of Jody Sweet in here from Full House?

[1:41:38] It's insane.

[1:41:39] I guess I have to click through.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:42] These are censored historical photos.

[1:41:44] I wouldn't believe they're just,

[1:41:45] Hey,

[1:41:45] this is just public domain photography that you made me click through.

Dan McCoy

[1:41:49] I think that this is the perfect gross note on which to end.

[1:41:52] Uh huh.

[1:41:53] So,

[1:41:53] uh,

[1:41:54] thanks for listening.

[1:41:55] Oh yeah.

[1:41:55] You had something to say before we go,

[1:41:57] Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:57] Before we go,

[1:41:58] I just want to remind people we're part of the maximum fun network and there's a lot of great

[1:42:01] maximum fun shows on there.

[1:42:02] I want you to enjoy them all.

[1:42:04] But if you liked this show,

[1:42:05] if you always liked it,

[1:42:06] if you just started liking it,

[1:42:07] or if you're worried you won't like it anymore and you want to take advantage of this one moment where you like it,

[1:42:11] please leave us a review on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts,

[1:42:14] podcatcher or,

[1:42:15] uh,

[1:42:16] ear spin or,

[1:42:17] uh,

[1:42:17] pod news or whatever.

[1:42:18] I don't know.

[1:42:19] Somebody told me that like,

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:20] we need new listeners and that's a way we can do it.

[1:42:24] So,

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:24] and,

[1:42:25] and feel free to tweet about us.

[1:42:27] Use the hashtag flop house,

[1:42:28] Instagram about us,

[1:42:29] use Facebook.

[1:42:30] Just make sure not to befriend Marina because she'll kill everyone.

[1:42:34] You know,

[1:42:34] and then turn you into a Marina.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:35] I feel like,

[1:42:36] I feel like as long as you don't unfriend her,

[1:42:38] you're fine.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:40] Uh,

[1:42:40] yeah,

[1:42:40] but you have to invite her to your birthday party and it's just awkward.

[1:42:43] Oh,

[1:42:43] right.

[1:42:44] Yeah.

[1:42:45] Uh,

[1:42:45] so again,

[1:42:46] go to max fun,

[1:42:47] listen to all those shows,

[1:42:48] leave some reviews for us,

[1:42:49] tell people about us.

[1:42:50] We would love that.

Dan McCoy

[1:42:52] Well,

[1:42:53] thanks,

[1:42:53] uh,

[1:42:54] everyone.

[1:42:54] It's been great to talk to you as always,

[1:42:56] and a great to talk to the audience.

[1:42:58] Uh,

[1:42:58] but it's time to go.

[1:42:59] So for the flop house,

[1:43:01] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:43:02] Hey,

[1:43:02] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:04] I'm Elliot Kalin in sunny Los Angeles.

[1:43:08] Sorry.

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:10] Bye.

[1:43:14] Yeah.

[1:43:15] If we don't,

[1:43:15] uh,

[1:43:16] we don't get ad money.

[1:43:18] We're going to have to close the flop house guys.

[1:43:20] Uh,

[1:43:21] Oh,

[1:43:21] I guess we're going to do a dance competition.

[1:43:24] I was going to say a bikini car wash,

[1:43:26] but I guess dance competition is slightly more PC.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:30] We'll do a bikini dance car wash competition.

[1:43:33] Uh,

[1:43:33] and the guys in the cars are like,

[1:43:34] my car's not getting very clean with all this dancing going on.

[1:43:37] Mm-hmm.

[1:43:38] What,

[1:43:39] what do you think that there's a lot of reviews online for the bikini car wash

[1:43:42] that are mad at how poor they're,

[1:43:44] the car wash aspect of it is.

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:46] Yep.

[1:43:46] And they're like,

[1:43:47] uh,

[1:43:48] they played the song pony by genuine on a repeat,

[1:43:52] like 10 times.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:55] I will say my windshield ended up very clean until the boob prints began to mess it up again.

[1:44:01] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:01] They started to appear.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:03] They didn't even offer to do the interiors.

S5

[1:44:06] Maximum fun.org.

[1:44:08] Comedy and culture.

[1:44:09] Artist owned.

[1:44:10] Listener supported.

Ep #269 - Friend Request

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