Ep. #276 - Life Itself

[0:00] On this episode we discuss life itself seems like a pretty vague topic dan can we narrow it down to just like catch up.

[0:07] Music.

[0:33] Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house i'm dan mccoy hey i'm stewart wellington elliot kaelin over here sitting with my boys wellington dan mccoy and my main boy the big man upstairs and your dvd collection of the dvd show my boys yeah yeah yeah from tbs with the tbs show right very funny dan you're saying no i mean the time has passed we're all together because we are in madison wisconsin.

[1:04] Hi beautiful madison wisconsin yeah it's great but we're hiding from the icy winds blasting the hotel we're hiding in i didn't realize that we were entering a movie and that movie ice age no shit it's very cold outside as well and this is gonna be a good one it's already firing relatable to the listener yeah we are in madison wisconsin and it is cold.

[1:30] Buckle your seatbelts we are here to do a live show you are not listening to the live show you are listening to an episode we're recording the morning after in dan's hotel room the place is a mess just like just half-dressed uh women everywhere just throwing french fries all over the place why what is that my fantasy yeah i think that kid that kid from boogie nights who throws the fireworks everywhere he's around here yeah i get it and uh let's not forget and there's just

[2:00] like a tub with a hippopotamus in it and the uh that came with the room and it's this like

[2:06] kind of tracking shot where the camera comes into the room and it bounces from one conversation to

[2:10] another while uh i don't know something by like three dog night plays yeah exactly yeah we were

[2:17] all up well not all elliot left at a semi-reasonable time still later than i wanted to be up stewart and i

[2:24] got back to the hotel 2 30 a.m oh wow oh you did disappointment yeah that's oh my god

[2:34] i can't help it if i'm just on yeah you're ripping stewart's

[2:39] stitches when i said that joke stewart actually flipped over backwards out of the panel you could

[2:45] just see his feet flying through the air okay so this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and

[2:51] we talk about it uh-huh and we did that so stuck to our mission statement now uh we watched this

[2:59] movie life itself which we did not watch the roger ebert documentary life itself which is a quite

[3:05] good movie i recommend it oh wait a minute my plot summary is going to be really weird

[3:10] but uh this is a movie that came out what last year yeah it was one of those uh it was one of

[3:16] those blacklist scripts uh which usually means good movie that the flop house won't review right

[3:21] i think we might have asked this before but like can someone write in and remind us has there ever

[3:24] been a good movie made off a blacklist script uh suspect zero uh wait uh no i don't i mean i'm sure

[3:34] there must have been but i feel like there are all these movies that get made off blacklist scripts

[3:37] and they're not very good movies does the studio system work because i'm beginning to think the

[3:42] scripts haven't been bought is a good thing yes i mean the studio system was the most consistent

[3:47] oh well not the studio system but like the the oh does the studio system yeah i thought you were

[3:53] saying like we need to go back to the studio system but it wasn't just like a bunch of people

[3:56] throwing scripts around but like you had to do it you had to pump out movies starring stars and

[4:00] about things yes that also would be a good way of doing it uh so this movie it's by the guy who did

[4:07] made the show this is us right yeah yeah so this is basically this is movie right i guess i wish it

[4:13] was called this is a movie it sounds like a tim and eric thing yeah uh yeah it's uh what what dan

[4:21] fogelman i think that's his name uh and he's written a handful of other movies um let's just

[4:25] get into it this is gonna be a fucking beast of a movie yes tell us what this movie is yeah i've

[4:30] i've elected uh i was so inspired by the majesty of this movie that i have elected to be the plot

[4:35] summarizer so you might just want to ride that 10 second skip button um so so after a whole bunch

[4:41] of ochre production logos we you are really going through the movie we get some narration from

[4:49] samuel l jackson as samuel l jackson a narrator uh we get a title card that says chapter one the

[4:56] hero narrated by samuel l jackson uh and at this point you're probably like oh fuck what did i sign

[5:02] up for because that's what i said um and then we we have a scene uh where we have a uh a random

[5:09] character being interviewed by a therapist played by annette benning played by annette benning thank

[5:14] you um and it's narrated by samuel l jackson and it's very like i guess like fourth wall breaking

[5:22] would you describe it it's like you think that this guy is going to be the hero of the movie

[5:26] well guess what that was bullshit this guy's boring let's go to the psychiatrist maybe she's

[5:31] the hero of the movie no she's not ha ha we tricked you again he has this long monologue about

[5:36] like when you go outside to smoke you're not supposed to smoke but it feels so good so you

[5:40] still do it and your wife gets mad at you because you're smoking and it's like it's playing if the

[5:44] movie is playing all these like crappy fourth wall tricks that felt old 20 years ago and doing it

[5:51] and it's like yeah you think this is the hero of the movie right real handsome wrong it's this one

[5:55] it's like the only reason i think the hero of the movie is because you've presented him to me like

[5:58] it's not like i picked him out of a lineup it's like this guy should be the hero like

[6:02] yeah thanks for handing me this can of peanut brittle movie oh there's snakes in it whoa

[6:08] it's not like i asked you to give me a demanded canned peanut brittle and i'm finally getting

[6:12] the comeuppance that i deserve but it really makes you think about uh preconceived notions

[6:16] right guys about what brittle it's like it's also the most like i feel bad start this movie this

[6:23] movie that like wants to deal in like so much tragedy as it goes on uh do you do you think

[6:28] there is a candy company that yeah that uh had to throw out all their cans of peanut brittle

[6:34] because they're like people don't buy these anymore they're too afraid of snakes they're

[6:39] taking up public service ads hi my name's greg brittle my family's been making peanut brittle

[6:44] for generations now it's come to my attention that a lot of people are worried about snakes

[6:47] these days well the brittle promise no snakes in our cans as you can say it's him walking the

[6:53] factory floor like as you can see we take great precautions to keep snakes out of our cans

[6:58] we hire 900 percent local mongooses as the ads go on like they get increasingly more

[7:06] desperate and like they don't even look like snakes they're just springs with fabric over

[7:14] we don't even sell our stuff in cans really go to a zoo look at what the snakes look like they're

[7:19] different okay one guy had a heart attack and died because he was surprised by a pig jumping

[7:24] out at him but that's not our fault and the guy who owns a novelty company and who lost his

[7:30] girlfriend to greg brittle years ago finally finally my revenge uh now uh the movie finally

[7:36] settles on a hero right oscar isaac yeah oscar isaac uh plays a character will one last thing

[7:41] about peanut brittle yes dan it's the only confectionary that in its name advertises the

[7:47] fact that it's brittle i mean i think here's my theory about that pinnacle is an old thing

[7:53] and the idea that it was like oh this won't be hard to chew this will break apart easily

[7:58] it's not hard tack yeah yeah you're letting people know that they don't risk their teeth

[8:03] exactly as opposed to hard tack where you're like right off the name this will be hard and

[8:07] it's going to taste like a bunch of tacks in your mouth like is this apple based dessert

[8:11] going to be hard to eat no i think it's a crumble so uh so it uh so we have oscar isaac is uh jumps

[8:21] into frame just in time to distract annette benning long enough for her to get run over by a

[8:25] bus it's like run overs last it's like cartoony like she gets hit and you kind of expect to see

[8:31] her body fly through the air and bounce and this is the first of many on-screen deaths for women

[8:36] in this movie if you are a woman in this movie watch out the grim reaper is hanging over your

[8:41] head but for now we're just introduced to our hero it turns the whole intro turned out the intro was

[8:46] a screenplay being written by oscar isaac who you know is a likable person because he's a

[8:51] belligerent drunk who lectures people about bob dylan when they're just trying to do their job

[8:55] if you're a fan of bob dylan by the end of this movie i don't think he will be anymore yeah i

[8:59] turned i turned to the person that i was watching the movie with and i'm like you know what i like

[9:03] bob dylan just fine but if i never have to hear another person talk about what a fucking genius

[9:08] bob dylan is in my entire life i will be happy i feel like we just lost bob dylan as a listener

[9:14] jacob dylan is like fair very fair uh i'm not there the movie about bob dylan that posits him

[9:19] as a kind of shape-shifting trickster spirit yeah who has always been with us in america

[9:24] is less up its own ass about bob dylan than this movie yes so uh stewart what happens next yeah why

[9:31] why is why is will a wreck of a man elliot is chomping at chomping at that bit to try and do

[9:36] a plot summary it's so hard but i'm driving this car for real so we so we see will now a bearded

[9:43] wreck of a man uh wandering the streets of new york and it flashes back to time that he has spent

[9:49] with his wife played by olivia wilde i think her character is what annie nancy's abby abby cool

[9:55] normal they uh they have this uh very long conversation

[10:00] in the bed talking about Bob Dylan and then he and they smashed their dog named

[10:06] fuckface affectionately like this is I'm like so it's this couple that's lying in

[10:10] bed talking about Bob Dylan I'm like I think I hate these people and they're

[10:13] like oh it's our dog fuckface hey fuckface like I hate these people these

[10:17] people are charmed by the fact that they have named their pet fuckface and then

[10:21] a little whimsical pair then Olivia Wilde climbs out of bed and reveals a

[10:26] giant pregnant belly mm-hmm at which both characters are shocked that she's

[10:30] pregnant which is part of a joke but it's also like wait a minute like worse

[10:35] this was meant to be a shock for the audience that she's pregnant I don't

[10:38] know it's like the audience is surprised and then they joke around it's like hey

[10:41] wait a minute are you pregnant and it made me realize that like not that

[10:46] moment throughout the movie you'll see that affection is only ever expressed in

[10:50] this movie through kind of like joke bits like there seems to be no way for

[10:54] people to show that they care about each other in this movie other than to

[10:57] have like running gag bits that they do and it's like look I'm a comedy person I

[11:02] love my wife dearly sometimes we joke around other times we just talk like

[11:06] regular people yeah like you lie around in bed talking about Bob Dylan and

[11:09] Hoobastank well that's only because I'm trying to I'm trying to segue into do it

[11:15] like they doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel

[11:19] that's the Bloodhound Gang isn't it? I thought it was Hoobastank. What does Hoobastank do?

[11:23] I don't fucking know. Stank?

[11:27] They specifically stank Hoobas. So what is a Hooba?

[11:31] It's like a Dr. Seuss tuba.

[11:34] Okay, that's a good explanation, yeah.

[11:36] Yeah, so the movie like at this point...

[11:39] To the members of Hoobastank and the Bloodhound Gang, I do not apologize for mixing up your domain.

[11:43] We lost a couple more listeners.

[11:45] So the movie bounces back and forth. Will is seeing his therapist who was

[11:50] played by Nat Benning of course. He was briefly institutionalized. Yeah, we get a

[11:53] little info dump where his wife left him six months ago and he has spent

[11:58] half that time in an institution. Cue the song institutionalized by Suicidal

[12:04] Tendencies and then we so we get little snippets of their relationship we see

[12:10] them at like this is Will and his wife we see them at a college party we see

[12:16] him asking his wife out for on a date in the most unbelievable fashion possible

[12:21] yeah it's very unpleasant like Oscar Isaacs like hey the reason I haven't

[12:26] asked you out yet is because when I do it's gonna be forever and I just want

[12:32] like it I won't be able to stop being with you and it has to be perfect I'm

[12:36] like dude this is the first date you're asking for you are freaking this woman

[12:40] out well they've been friends for a while so she knows he's a crazy person I

[12:44] guess yeah she's like why haven't you asked me out yet well he's like cuz when

[12:47] I yeah when I do it's gonna be forever babe I love you so hard and I just like

[12:51] what this love builds up in me and it's just like forever and ever and I just

[12:55] like God babe I don't like I just yeah I just like can't I like can't handle it

[13:00] like I mean everything he does in this movie this speech was delivered by a

[13:06] silhouette in a Zales diamonds commercial I would be I mean you'd be

[13:12] like how's he talking he has no mouth he's just a shadow well that's the

[13:15] thing you know he jumped loose from his boy in this case Peter Pan and now he's

[13:22] proposing to other female so maybe he lost his shadow shadow did want to grow

[13:27] up and get married because it's a Zales commercial yeah should you talk about

[13:32] Stuart about the flashback to his proposal when they are addressed as

[13:35] Pulp Fiction characters I was he just can't keep your foot off the gas so

[13:41] yeah so the movie bounces around back and forth from him in therapy to times

[13:47] in their life including of course this this costume party at college again

[13:53] where they're dressed up like the characters from Pulp Fiction which is of

[13:55] course the confirmation like Elliot said that this is a student movie this movie

[14:01] feels like a student film and as soon as it's like mmm then I'll have to pay

[14:05] obeisance at the altar of Pulp Fiction and then all right okay and and there's

[14:09] a eerily prophetic moment where he has to reenact the the scene from Pulp

[14:14] Fiction where he brings Uma Thurman back to life by sticking Olivia Wilde with a

[14:19] fake syringe and I'm like oh she's gonna die isn't she

[14:23] spoiler alert she does can I mention one thing about that scene also yeah okay

[14:27] he proposes to her and she tells him that this is me quoting I think because

[14:32] I've written in quotes my nose it scares her how much you feel uh-huh and she

[14:36] mentions that she I think that she is not ready to be loved that way that much

[14:41] and it's like god damn it like everything about this is so student film

[14:44] like this is someone's college screenplay yeah I mean it's and it's a

[14:48] way of trying to make his like he's a he comes off to me as like a creepy

[14:54] pressuring character yes and the movie tries to present that as just like like

[14:59] a charming thing like oh you're just a raw nerve in a cool like a nice way

[15:03] it's a it's one of many movies that doesn't seem to realize that the

[15:06] character it thinks is the hero is actually had a lot of things wrong about

[15:11] him no offense or not no spoilers but we're here Madison to talk about the

[15:15] movie Venom and we Venom has another as a similar strange thing where the hero

[15:18] of the movie is not a good guy but there's another side character who is a

[15:22] very good guy and should be the hero of the movie yeah and this feels like that

[15:26] except there are no other heroes except Manny Patankin I guess mm-hmm as Oscar

[15:30] Isaac's dad yeah I guess so that's fair so the doesn't do much other than have a

[15:35] beard and sit around to be cranky yeah but he's Manny Patankin so of course you

[15:38] love him yeah of course yeah so the the we get another flashback of Oscar Isaac

[15:44] and Olivia Wilde visiting Oscar Isaac's parents the day of the day from the

[15:51] previous flashback where they were in bed and their Oscar Isaac's parents are

[15:56] played by Mandy Patinkin and Jean Smart and you know what it's nice to see Jean

[15:59] Smart around don't worry she's not gonna be in the movie long she's a woman in

[16:03] this movie so she will meet a tragic end yeah yeah you can there you can

[16:07] basically start a ticking clock at this point and they clearly Oscar Isaac's

[16:12] parents are very excited about having a baby they they talk about how they

[16:16] prayed that he would meet a woman with dead parents which is insane but they

[16:22] wouldn't have to share the grandchild but it's very important to know that

[16:24] like the stupid fucking Bob Dylan conversation and this lunch this is all

[16:28] on quote the day she left me like and you probably guessed what that having

[16:34] left means already but we'll get to it uh-huh because we have to talk about

[16:37] Abby's backstory right oh my god yeah yeah well what's Abby's backstory

[16:42] Will tells us very quickly that Abby's parents died when she was young in a

[16:46] car crash that she witnessed she was in the car and survived it and he goes into

[16:51] detail about how her dad was decapitated by the steering column in front of her

[16:54] eyes this of course translates to her being given to the custody of Uncle Perv

[16:59] who molests her for years until she threatens to know she does shoot him in

[17:04] the leg right yeah she should so she gets a gun from as Will describes it

[17:07] some gangbanger and shoots him in the leg and it's like movie you do not get

[17:11] to throw all this shit at your character yeah just kind of brush it aside as if

[17:15] it's like a quirky back like it to describe it it was like yeah pretty

[17:18] nasty huh sucks huh pretty bad it's like movie like don't stop doing this dad got

[17:23] decapitated and she got molested for several years like this is not like you

[17:28] can't do this to like this movie does not deserve this no and the movie is not

[17:32] impressing us by how hardcore it is not like whoa this movie means business

[17:36] started out with this fucking jazzy Sam L Jackson narration like oh by the way

[17:40] Samuel Jackson never comes back in the movie yeah the they could only book him

[17:44] for an hour I mean don't you see him on screen when they're watching Pulp

[17:47] Fiction at one point I think you're right I guess the the thing about this

[17:51] kind of tragedy porn is that it doesn't actually have the courage to like not

[17:57] saying that this is a movie that should show a guy getting decapitated and

[18:00] squirting blood all over his daughter or something but like you can't just like

[18:05] talk about you don't get credit for talking about how grisly something is do

[18:09] you know what I mean the problem I have is that with a lot of movies like this

[18:16] and like Garden State is a movie like that too where and or like any movie

[18:20] where there's like this girl like or this girl's fucked up and that means

[18:24] that translate as a zest for life which exists to pull the main the the male

[18:28] hero out of his funk yeah it's like I don't I'm not a big fan of the of the

[18:33] trope in stories and movies where it's like all these terrible things happen to

[18:37] this woman and that's why now she's a free spirit she's kind of a wounded bird

[18:41] and you know what she's just trying to fly free on those broken wings trying to

[18:45] take those broken wings and learn to fly again Dan take it I can't afford to use

[18:51] this song you couldn't afford the cost to your soul so wait wait what have I

[19:00] been doing with all this money the envelope that says songs on the damn

[19:05] okay feed the cat it's not a euphemism right but yeah it's it's really it's

[19:20] just like gross so she has moved on from all this trauma and she is the brightest

[19:24] and smartest student in her school and she's a literature major and she has a

[19:29] very specific thesis that she's working on a little bit it's so stupid and I

[19:35] spoiler flash-forward she gets a bad grade on her thesis because it's not

[19:38] about literature Stuart what is it about her thesis is it's she's obsessed with

[19:44] the idea of the the unreliable narrator earlier in the movie weren't we kind of

[19:50] dealt with a series of unreliable narrators from Samuel L. Jackson to

[19:54] Oscar Isaac and on wait a minute this movie's great I just realized the way it

[19:58] comments on itself

[20:00] The way it tells you what it's doing, while it's doing it, it's amazing!

[20:03] I didn't realize that there were so many layers to this movie.

[20:05] And her thesis is,

[20:08] isn't life itself the original unreliable narrator?

[20:14] Yeah, that's the moment that I flunked her out of school while I was watching the movie.

[20:18] She's like, she's like, life is the unreliable narrator,

[20:20] because you never know what's going to happen.

[20:22] And it's like, that's not what an unreliable narrator is.

[20:24] Like, although her being like, isn't life the unreliable narrator?

[20:28] It does fit well with our fake news world that we live in,

[20:31] where you kind of believe whatever facts you want to believe in.

[20:33] So maybe she was just ahead of her time, you know?

[20:35] And it's kind of weird, because there's really not that much,

[20:39] there's not that much unreliable narration in this movie, in a way.

[20:42] Like, you have a bunch of different narrators that kind of lie to you,

[20:45] but there's not like, I guess it's not like multiple people seeing...

[20:49] It's not Rashomon.

[20:50] Yeah.

[20:50] It's not like, or it's not even Usual Suspect,

[20:53] where you're like, oh, all the stuff I saw before is in a different light,

[20:56] now that I know this information.

[20:57] It's not Hero, featuring Jet Li.

[21:01] But it's like, yeah, it's strange.

[21:03] She's also like, so fucking excited that she got her thesis idea.

[21:06] She like, comes in, like, in a whirlwind, like,

[21:09] declaiming to the entire room, like,

[21:10] Oscar Isaac and also like, his buddies are just like, hanging out,

[21:13] like, I guess also fascinated with what she's saying.

[21:15] And like, and you're right.

[21:18] She needs a better friend circle to be like, uh, calm down, dude.

[21:22] Well, I've never seen anyone so fucking excited about like, a thesis idea.

[21:26] She's just full of life and vim and vigor,

[21:28] as anyone who had suffered years of abuse would be.

[21:31] Anytime I've, anytime I feel like I've cracked that very difficult role-playing adventure

[21:37] I've been trying to write, and I run up and tell my wife,

[21:39] she doesn't seem very excited.

[21:41] I mean, that happens to me, where I'll be, I'll be like,

[21:43] I figured this thing out, and I want to tell somebody,

[21:45] and they'll be like, uh-huh, all right.

[21:46] Like the time I hugged my cleaning lady,

[21:48] because I beat a very difficult boss in the video game Bloodborne.

[21:52] Doesn't Oscar Isaac do like a, like a, like a, uh...

[21:56] A double take where he spits soda all over the place?

[21:58] No, no, no, like a beer, like, a keg stand after that or something like that?

[22:01] It's college, it's college, Dad.

[22:03] Immediately after she leaves?

[22:04] Like, that's kind of a good joke.

[22:06] She's like, so excited about her thesis, and he's like, well, back to my keg stand.

[22:09] But also, like...

[22:10] Yeah, he's got some hard work to do, it's the middle of the afternoon.

[22:12] She's had a tough life, but what kind of privilege is it where you're like,

[22:16] my thesis for my literature class is going to be this weird philosophical statement

[22:19] that has nothing to do with literature?

[22:21] Guys, I don't have to play by the rules.

[22:23] But anyway, so, and Will says to his therapist, maybe he's an unreliable narrator.

[22:28] And we're like, wait, wait a minute.

[22:30] Am I supposed to believe anything I've seen before?

[22:32] Is this whole thing just a book that somebody else is writing?

[22:35] Well, we'll get to that.

[22:36] I was so ready for it to, for right now, for it to be like, and cut.

[22:40] And they're on the set of the TV show Life Itself.

[22:42] And like, it turns out one of them is an actor,

[22:44] and they go off and have their own adventure or whatever.

[22:46] Oh, man, that would have been crazy.

[22:48] Like a real black mirror, right, Dan?

[22:51] I don't think that's what a black mirror's like.

[22:53] And then like, he gets involved in a murder batch, and it's like, what do I do?

[22:56] And it turns out the whole thing is being dreamed by Cthulhu in his house at R'lyeh

[22:59] while he waits dead dreaming until the stars align.

[23:02] Yeah, and then there's an animated sequence.

[23:05] Oh, yeah, yeah, awesome.

[23:06] Okay, what happens next, Stuvall?

[23:07] So the, so we flash back to Will in the therapist's office.

[23:12] He is asked to talk about that the day that his wife left him.

[23:16] He talks about having spoken with his wife since he got out of the institution,

[23:22] which is basically just him freaking out.

[23:24] He's like, oh, come back to me, bubba, I miss you, bubba, bubba, bubba.

[23:28] And then a lot of these flashbacks and a lot of the future flashbacks we're going to see,

[23:33] we actually have the characters that are having the conversation,

[23:35] like, walk through the whole thing like it's a memory palace.

[23:40] It's pretty great.

[23:41] And I always wonder the logic of that sort of thing,

[23:44] because, like, Matt Benning's there, like, seeing the memory with Oskar Isaac,

[23:47] and I'm like, is he describing, like, everything so perfectly that, like,

[23:52] you've seen Inception, dude, you just got to do the broad strokes.

[23:55] Well, even the fact that he's walking through a memory where he's seeing himself,

[23:58] I'm like, what about you guys?

[23:59] But my memory does not usually involve a vision of me,

[24:02] because unless I'm not looking in a mirror constantly,

[24:04] like, my memories involve my point of view on the event.

[24:07] You're not Vanity Smurf?

[24:09] I mean, I'm an enemy Smurf on that bookworm one that has the glasses.

[24:13] What's his name, Pedantic Smurf?

[24:16] He's the one, someone's like, I Smurf over the Smurf, I'm feeling Smurfy.

[24:19] And Pedantic's like, actually, you're feeling Smurfo.

[24:23] Smurfy is a misnomer.

[24:26] But it's like, it's the drama, melodrama version of what we've talked about many times before,

[24:34] those compilation movies they show on Cinemax, where it's like,

[24:37] well, I heard a story about my friend and her boyfriend,

[24:40] and it just cuts to a sex scene.

[24:42] And it's like, so is the person describing the sex scene?

[24:45] And they're also just sort of just having sex, like, it's not really a story.

[24:49] I mean, I guess there's a beginning and a middle and an end, so there's a climax.

[24:53] Oh, shit!

[24:55] That's falling action, am I right?

[24:57] Oh my god, oh!

[24:59] And not enough rising action afterwards, so...

[25:02] I guess what I'm saying is...

[25:04] Stewart turned into a Fox studio audience from the 90s.

[25:09] Ow!

[25:10] I guess Christina Applegate just walked in.

[25:15] Here's the thing, guys.

[25:16] Isn't sex the ultimate unreliable narrator?

[25:20] I'm gonna need to see your thesis.

[25:22] I don't know.

[25:24] So we see...

[25:25] So wait, there's gotta be some porn called, like, Defending Her Thesis or something like that.

[25:29] I mean, I could imagine. I don't know.

[25:30] Dan, quick, you're already on Pornhub.

[25:33] Just type it into the...

[25:35] Go to your favorite section.

[25:38] Favorite section.

[25:41] PhD porn.

[25:43] Go to the Employee Recommendations.

[25:46] Do they have that?

[25:47] Yeah, with, like, a little description about why they like it so much.

[25:50] Hey, Brad says, this one was super hot.

[25:54] Yeah, I mean, Brad has never left me wrong.

[25:57] Caused my penis to ejaculate.

[25:59] And somehow Infinite Jest is also on the shelf of this Employee Recommendations?

[26:03] Yeah, yeah.

[26:04] We get it. I'll read it someday.

[26:06] Yeah, you like good books. Cool.

[26:10] So we see a continuation of the day where Will and Abby spent some time with Will's parents.

[26:17] And then they're walking down a familiar New York street.

[26:20] A street that was featured in the earlier nested sequence.

[26:24] The one where Annette Bening got hit by the bus.

[26:27] But this time, a different lady, Abby, gets hit by a bus.

[26:32] Wait a minute. His wife didn't leave him.

[26:34] She didn't leave him. She left this earth, dude.

[26:37] By the way, we find out another reason she gets hit by the bus later.

[26:40] But she partially gets hit by the bus because she's backing into the intersection while talking to him.

[26:45] While talking about she came up with the perfect name for their daughter.

[26:48] Yeah.

[26:49] Uh-huh. What's that?

[26:50] Who's the human being that gets talked about in this movie as if they are a semi-divine presence?

[26:55] Oh, so they named the child Roberta?

[26:57] What?

[26:59] For Bob.

[27:00] Oh, I see. Yeah. No, no. They named the child Fuckface after their dog.

[27:04] Oh, wow.

[27:05] No, she's like, I got the perfect name.

[27:07] Did Garth Ennis write this movie?

[27:10] I mean, a lot of women do get killed in terrible ways.

[27:12] That's true.

[27:14] She goes – she wants to name their daughter Dylan.

[27:17] But before he can tell her –

[27:18] Well, after Dylan Thomas.

[27:20] Yeah, exactly. Yeah. After Steve Dylan, artist of Preacher, written by Garth Ennis.

[27:25] Before he can say, please don't name my daughter after this musician you kept talking about, the bus hits her.

[27:30] The bus hits her, and leaving a result that is described later in the movie by a different narrator, it eviscerates her, which is another time where this movie is like, how grisly can we describe this horrible thing that's happening?

[27:43] Especially since, as we learn, their daughter survived the bus accident and was born perfectly healthy.

[27:49] So like maybe it's just that the ultimate airbag is to be inside of a human being, I don't know, to have the cushioning of a human body around you.

[27:56] Yeah, I mean I'm not going to argue the science of this situation.

[27:59] No, but I have to assume that the bus hit her, her body splattered into pieces, and the baby going wah, flew through the air, landing in her father's arms, and he said, I'm not ready to be a dad yet.

[28:09] And Will is – how does Will react to this revelation?

[28:13] The doctor saying, face it, Will. Your wife's dead and you have a baby.

[28:16] Yeah, like, and Will hasn't seen his newborn daughter yet. He's been institution and crazy in coffee shops.

[28:24] So his reaction is to say, I don't want to be here anymore, and then he pulls out a gun and shoots himself in the head.

[28:30] Which the movie has primed us to believe is just another fake out.

[28:33] But it is not.

[28:34] No.

[28:35] Oscar Isaac is gone from the movie. The man that all the ads would have suggested is the hero of the film.

[28:40] And the narrator suggested that.

[28:42] Is gone.

[28:43] Yeah.

[28:44] So cue another title card.

[28:46] What happens next? What chapter is it?

[28:48] We're on chapter two, Dylan Dempsey, and we see basically an episode of A Series of Unfortunate Events.

[28:55] Has everyone she loves die as one after another?

[28:59] Yeah, which is actually appropriate. That's an appropriate joke because Dylan Dempsey is two Ds back to back.

[29:06] What's that type thing called?

[29:08] Alliteration.

[29:09] Thank you. It's an alliteration, which is something – which is a device used in A Series of Unfortunate Events.

[29:14] So I'm smart.

[29:15] Yeah, say what happens because I have a point I want to make.

[29:18] So at this point they kind of rush over their new daughter's childhood where she lives with her grandparents.

[29:27] Well, grandparent because they quickly mention how Gene Smart's character dies.

[29:33] And then they also talk about how a very important person dies, their dog fuck face.

[29:38] It's like she lost her grandmother and then her best friend.

[29:41] Do we see her saying goodbye to her grandmother? No.

[29:43] We see her saying goodbye to the dog, and the implication is that the death of the dog was at the same level as the death of the grandmother or maybe more important.

[29:51] And it's like, come on, movie. What are you doing? Come on.

[29:55] Yeah, and then we get a couple of – then we get a scene between Grandpa and Mandy Patink.

[30:00] And with a very white snowy beard, it don't worry, it gets whiter and snowy.

[30:06] Santa Patinkin between this little girl and Mandy Patinkin, where they each speak very eloquently

[30:16] about how they're feeling. But it turns out that's all just a fake out.

[30:20] That's what they should be saying. But instead, they're like, Oh, how are you doing? I'm good.

[30:26] And the girl has a speech about how she's so much tragedy has been laid on her feet and now

[30:32] and on her back and now what she's going to live life to the fullest.

[30:35] Like a series of unfortunate events.

[30:37] Mandy Patinkin has that speech about like, I love you so much. I'm never gonna let anything

[30:40] ever happen to you again, blah, blah, blah. But you're right. It's just another

[30:43] F out, a fake out that is. I had a question, guys. Do you think there are any elderly people

[30:48] who went to a matinee showing in New York of Mandy thinking it was a movie about Mandy Patinkin?

[30:55] I mean, more about the song. Yeah. And they're like, faces melted off midway through.

[31:02] As Nicolas Cage stares in horror after his wife's death at the Cheddar Goblin ad,

[31:06] they were like, when is he going to sing Finishing the Hat?

[31:12] So we then get a flash forward where we watch this character Dylan grow up until she is played

[31:18] by actress Olivia Cooke, another Olivia. And at this point, she's now like a super cool punk

[31:25] rocker. She's got a neck tattoo. She's got dyed red hair. I love it. She smokes cigarettes. The

[31:30] way you know she's her 21st birthday. The way you know she's a bad girl who doesn't care about the

[31:33] rules is she smokes a cigarette in front of her grandpa. She's I don't know whether they have

[31:40] like Mandy Patinkin and her have like a little conversation. That's not really that important,

[31:44] but they go out and they do their little joke routine where they each take a drink and go,

[31:49] yeah, which they've been doing since she was a little girl. That's how you know they're the

[31:52] same characters. Because this is an adaptation of the story, All You Zombies, where someone

[31:59] travels through time to be their own father, mother and self. But now she's now the front

[32:03] person for a band. And she's what's the name of the band? I fucking forget. PB&J because they talk

[32:10] about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches a bunch in this movie. And they and they have a pile of

[32:15] peanut butters and jelly sandwiches on a tray that anyone can take at the performance.

[32:19] That sounds like a traditional New York City. I guess the way you offered free pizza to anyone

[32:25] who came to your coffee show is otherwise nobody would show up. So the implication is this is not

[32:28] a popular band. Yeah, but I was going to say it's like she's the front woman and she sings,

[32:33] of course, a Bob Dylan song, which he starts out, you know, just like playing the piano.

[32:37] And she's got it. Yeah. And you're like, oh, this is a nice little piano song.

[32:41] Got a nice voice. And then it turns into this screaming punk song and terrible voice for

[32:46] punk. Yeah. Yeah. Like a sloppy ass punk song. Yeah. It's weird. I don't know about you guys,

[32:52] but like if my parents were really into Bob Dylan and I grew up to be like a punk,

[32:56] I would not be into fucking Bob Dylan. Well, it's like I could see it if she's like if the

[33:01] performance was her being like, fuck you, mom and dad for disappearing. I hate Bob Dylan. I'm

[33:06] going to fuck up his song to get back at you. Like I could see if she was like, this is a this

[33:10] is a performance piece where I'm going to ruin a Bob Dylan song. But that's impossible. Bob Dylan

[33:15] is the love and the light of the universe. Jesus Christ. He's the soul of the center of the

[33:19] galaxy. Just take your hands off me, guys. Maybe we should just kind of sit back, spark up and

[33:26] listen to the words of America's premier humanity's premier poet. Thank you. Nobel Prize winner Bob

[33:33] Robert Dylan. What was his last name? Some Jewish name. Yeah. The so like Konigsberg or Jacobsburg.

[33:41] So our new our new hero gets in a fight by the PB&J station with a woman who is filming her on

[33:47] a phone for some reason. She's like so Dylan is making out with her with some guy. And this woman

[33:53] is is shooting it on a phone. And she's like, you're taking pictures of me and beats her up.

[33:58] And it's like art. So is this our hero? Yeah. And also, like, why are you filming? It's not

[34:03] cool to film her, but it's an extreme overreaction. She like breaks the woman's phone and then

[34:08] sucker punches her and beats the shit out of her. And the woman is getting such like I would expect

[34:12] if these characters are 14 years old or 15, she'd be filming on her phone. I'm like, I get it. Like,

[34:17] but they're in their 20s. So like if someone's making out in a corner, who cares? Like, I don't

[34:22] know. Why are you not going to make out somewhere like, well, I don't get it, you know? Yeah. It

[34:26] doesn't seem like the right like you're at a rock club. People should be making out in the corner,

[34:30] like the dark corners of that place. Unless there's a scene that got cut out where she's like

[34:34] one more show, Grandpa, and then I'm entering the convent. And so this person is like,

[34:39] this is good blackmail material. Show this to the mother superior that she was making out.

[34:43] It's a very complicated. I was like, maybe that guy's somebody else's boyfriend or something.

[34:48] I mean, sure, that's a possible reason to know. Let's make it more complicated. So

[34:53] she beats up that lady. Dylan wanders the streets, chomping on PB&J before she ends

[34:58] at a park bench at a New York walking food, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She ends

[35:02] at a park bench at a very familiar New York intersection. That's right. It's across the

[35:08] street from the Ghostbusters house. JK, JK, it's the place where her mom died. So she gets to see

[35:16] her parents have that one last interaction while she talks to them. She has a dream.

[35:20] She has a little vision and she sees a magical little boy standing in the front of the bus that

[35:25] hits her mom. And then that's the end of that scene. Yeah. This character gets the shortest

[35:31] rift of any character in the movie. Dylan. Yeah. Yeah. She's a woman. She exists only to die or to

[35:36] give meaning to the life of the men in the movie. Does guess who we jump to next? We go to chapter

[35:41] three, the Gonzalez family. That's right. This character. So the movie has already shown that it

[35:48] that a movie made by, I assume, a sort of upper middle class white man, American, doesn't really

[35:54] know what it's like to live in America as a person, as a white person. So it's time to go to

[35:59] an Andalusian olive farm to tell the story of a family of olive pickers. And and our man, Tony B,

[36:10] Antonio Banderas shows up looking kind of like Mandy Patinkin. It was a little confusing.

[36:17] He looks sharp, though. I mean, he's a handsome man. Oh, my God. Yeah. He looks like a fucking

[36:21] comfort daddy. Yeah. Compare him to in The Haywire. He has a similar beard, but not in as good a

[36:27] shape here. He just looks like he's doing great. Yeah, man. I can't get enough. It's only like,

[36:32] to be honest, we watched interviews of Empire not that long ago and watching this. It's like

[36:36] I wouldn't think as much time had passed as has between that and this. So it looks great.

[36:41] Well, that's when you're a child of the night. Things change, change differently.

[36:46] And the rhythm of the night. Yeah. So we are introduced to two characters at this point. We

[36:52] have Antonio Banderas, whose name is I don't remember. Do I have it anywhere? He's the boss.

[36:58] He's the boss of it. He owns an olive farm. He owns an olive farm. And he has an interview with

[37:03] one of his laborers named Javier, who seems kind of quiet and contemplative. And he invites he

[37:10] invites his worker into his sprawling home. Yeah. And he looks amazing like a comfort daddy and has

[37:17] this conversation with him telling him about his his own personal history, about how he comes from

[37:24] a complicated. To be honest, I kind of zoned out about. Yeah, it's like dad was a bastard and his

[37:30] mom was like from Spain was Italian. Yes, that was. No, that was Italian. His mom was from Spain,

[37:35] I think. I know. I think it's the other way around that. I think you're right that I remember

[37:39] something about drinking olive oil. But the mom was the one who brought the Spanish olive oil.

[37:42] No, no. The dad would send it back to them. What? No, no. I'm thinking of the other. No,

[37:46] no. The mom was the one who was the bastard. The mom was the one he liked. That's why he went and

[37:52] he got the olive oil business. The point is, the whole point is that this is a long fucking monologue

[37:57] that has no bearing on the rest of the movie and would be the first thing I cut from this film.

[38:01] Once again, it's another instance in the movie. Antonio Banderas was like, everyone gets a scene

[38:06] in which a woman is shit upon by a man in some way. Why don't I get to do that? What if I gave

[38:10] you a monologue about how your mom, who was a saint, was really treated poorly by your dad?

[38:14] Excellente. So we see these two men are very different. Antonio Banderas talks a lot. Javier

[38:24] is very quiet. He whistles just for himself. And his big mouth is only for the other man.

[38:29] He makes it like a point to his boss that he's like, what is inside? That is for me.

[38:35] You do not get that. I will give you my work, but what makes me happy is mine.

[38:41] I like this new character you're doing. Dan, let's keep it going. How do you feel

[38:44] about the DC Universe movie? Those are for me.

[38:49] Aquaman is for you. Those are not for the critics.

[38:54] What about the prequels? Those are not for me.

[38:59] Antonio Banderas is like, let me tell you this long story to explain why I care about the olives

[39:06] I grow. I see this thing in you. You also care about the olives. You sing to them. You whistle

[39:10] to them. Why is that? Javier is like, you don't get to own that part of my soul. Javier is supposed

[39:15] to be this principled man whose principles go too far. But as we learn, he's kind of an idiot.

[39:22] He's kind of a moron. We'll go on to that later.

[39:26] They reach an arrangement. Antonio Banderas wants Javier to be the new foreman and run the farm

[39:34] because he picks olives with his hands instead of a rake. He will let him live in this nice house

[39:42] and he will give him a significant raise. But Javier makes sure that's it. It's a business

[39:50] arrangement. I won't be your friend. I'm not going to be your friend. We're going to keep things

[39:55] cool and profesh. I don't think that's going to work out. He's like, I'm not here to make friends.

[40:00] I'm here to pick olives.

[40:01] Now, as you would imagine, it immediately then cuts to a flashback where Olivia Wilde's

[40:06] character Abby is working on her thesis again and they reveal that she fails her thesis,

[40:12] but also the guy who failed her is a jerk, so what does he know?

[40:17] So we then go back to Javier.

[40:21] He has just gotten this huge raise in this new house and he goes to visit his girlfriend

[40:26] and the movie gives us a little bit of a fake out because he's approaching a table

[40:29] full of women and it's like, no, no, no, he's actually in love with this other beautiful

[40:34] woman who's working as a waitress.

[40:36] Can you imagine?

[40:38] And luckily she spills everything so she clumsily drops stuff, so you're like, oh, she's attainable.

[40:45] She sometimes is clumsy.

[40:48] The gravity still has some effect on her, so even though she is incredibly gorgeous,

[40:53] she is in some way different from this other table of beautiful women, and it's also one

[40:56] of the things where it's like, the fake out is like, oh, he must be with one of those

[41:00] beautiful stylish women.

[41:01] No, with this beautiful waitress.

[41:02] And it's like, he is an olive picker.

[41:04] Like the idea that he would be going out with like a glamorous.

[41:07] He's an olive farm foreman.

[41:10] But we didn't know that.

[41:11] She didn't know that yet.

[41:12] So the idea that like, no, no, no, he just cares for this humble waitress who, again,

[41:16] is beautiful.

[41:17] Yeah.

[41:18] So they, what, they, uh, does he propose?

[41:19] They agree to be together forever and then they celebrate.

[41:23] Celebrate by clowning around in a fountain, which feels like they just, that was the only

[41:27] place they could shoot in that town.

[41:29] It's much like to skip ahead, there's a scene where these characters go on a vacation in

[41:32] New York and it's like, okay, so you had half a day to shoot around the south end of Central

[41:36] Park.

[41:37] That's all they do and see.

[41:39] But I wonder if it's like, we must express our love and our joy in the only way that

[41:44] we can here in Spain, by reenacting the opening of Friends.

[41:50] So the, uh, so the, yeah, so we, we get like a series of montages of them living in this

[41:55] big house and we see them get married.

[41:57] We see her, uh, Isabella get pregnant.

[42:00] We see them have a child.

[42:02] Um, and then unfortunately, Tony B comes back into the picture and starts creeping on his

[42:08] wife.

[42:09] So Javier thinks, yeah, I mean, I don't know, like he's being pretty creepy, a little creepy,

[42:15] but that's, this is the one instance where the things that he's doing, he's doing things

[42:18] that he's like, I have so much, but there's only one thing I don't have and like arches

[42:22] his eyebrows.

[42:23] But I think, but what he's really getting at, I think is that he doesn't have a family

[42:27] and that the relationship he really starts building is with Javier's son.

[42:30] Yeah.

[42:31] Rego.

[42:32] Yeah.

[42:33] And it's not like a, which one of the things where you, at first I think you're seeing

[42:36] it a little bit through Javier's eyes and it's like, Oh, what's he doing?

[42:39] But as the movie goes on, it's clear like, Oh no, Antonio Medeiros is a very good man.

[42:42] And like, he just, he's sad that he doesn't have a family and Javier continues to shut

[42:46] him out for almost, because there's own jealousy, which is the movie's point.

[42:49] It's not the movies on Javier's side, but at the same time, it's like movie, like, come

[42:54] on, like just to, can these characters just like get it together?

[42:56] You know?

[42:57] Yeah.

[42:58] They put a lot of effort into this one.

[42:59] Um, so this inspires them to go on a New York vacation, gives, gives Rodrigo the little

[43:04] boy a globe and Javier palms the globe in one hand, which is amazing.

[43:09] He's got those big olive picking hands and, uh, and you would think he would crush the

[43:13] olives.

[43:15] And he's like, I'm kicking you upstairs because you have failed.

[43:19] Like I'm promoting through incompetence.

[43:20] You'd crush all the olives.

[43:21] So I got to put you somewhere you can't do any damage.

[43:24] And he goes, no, no, no, no gifts for my son.

[43:26] And it's like, at that point I'd like, I'm just so turned against him.

[43:29] Cause I'm like, uh, if someone wants to give my kid a gift, great, I don't have to buy

[43:34] him a present.

[43:35] You're going to do it.

[43:36] Wonderful.

[43:37] I don't know.

[43:38] I mean the, my only, my, my only defensive Javier in this moment is that he kind of made

[43:42] it clear that he wanted to keep things kind of professional and Tony B doesn't want that.

[43:47] And then narrator who, at this point we don't know who the new narrator is, the non Sam

[43:52] Jackson narrator.

[43:53] But the narrator says like, Oh, he, he like, what's the name again?

[43:59] Which one?

[44:00] Yeah.

[44:01] I was like, Javier though was not a stupid man.

[44:04] So he started planning a vacation and he sees that Antonio Banderas has placed dreams in

[44:10] Rodrigo's head of going to New York.

[44:12] So Javier's like, Oh, I can take you to New York.

[44:15] So they go to New York, um, and they have a whirlwind time through part of central park.

[44:20] There literally is a shot of them sitting to have a caricature drawn of them.

[44:24] And I'm like, Oh, so they went for the real tourists, like these characters are not cool.

[44:29] Uh, they, they're not investigating the underground theater scene while they're in New York.

[44:35] They take a sightseeing bus, which unfortunately is the same bus.

[44:40] You got it.

[44:42] And Javier runs over Olivia Wilde.

[44:43] Why does the driver not see Olivia Wilde backing into the street?

[44:47] Is it because the little kid's like, he's an agent of chaos and he's like final destinationing

[44:52] this ship?

[44:53] Yeah.

[44:54] He walks down the vial thing.

[44:55] Hola to everybody.

[44:56] And he's like, Hola to the driver.

[44:57] And the driver's like, Oh, hello, little boy.

[44:59] And like turns away from the street for a very long time, a long time.

[45:03] And Javier's like, don't talk to the driver.

[45:04] It says so on the sign right there.

[45:07] And so this kid is a murderer.

[45:08] Uh, I mean, I don't know why I'd say that, but he is, I mean, manslaughter probably.

[45:14] He is an agent of chaos that he has destroyed his own family.

[45:17] He's destroyed the relationship between his dad and his dad's boss.

[45:20] And now, of course, the life of Olivia Wilde.

[45:22] And it also, it also kind of destroys his life for a little while, like severely traumatizes

[45:27] him.

[45:28] He can't sleep.

[45:29] His, uh, incessant crying makes his, turns his dad into like a crazy demon drunk, uh,

[45:34] where we see, yeah, we get a little montage of Javier and Isabella's relationship deteriorating

[45:40] rapidly.

[45:41] It's a lot of like sitting at a table, scowling at each other, and then one of them making

[45:43] a remark and the other one, like slamming a glass against the table, you know?

[45:46] Yeah.

[45:47] I mean, it's still, it's still got a pretty nice house.

[45:50] I mean, one crying kid.

[45:52] It's a big house.

[45:54] Get a bedroom on the other side of that huge house.

[45:56] No, it's, uh, speaking as someone who just takes them on those olives, stick them in

[46:01] your ears.

[46:02] That's what God made them for.

[46:04] That's why they're so, they're shaped that way.

[46:07] Delicious.

[46:08] I mean, an olive, the pit in it is God saying, put something inside of another thing.

[46:13] Okay.

[46:14] Put this in your ear the way I put the pit in the olive.

[46:16] That's the parable of the olive.

[46:19] Yeah.

[46:20] And God, you know, God is in heaven right now and he's like, I tell you humans, just

[46:24] a few things.

[46:25] And I try to be so clear.

[46:26] My whole gospel is about putting olives in your ears and no one's figured it out yet.

[46:32] So at this point, uh, Antonio Banderas shows back up and he helps, uh, Rigo go to like

[46:38] a kind of an expensive therapy to help him get over his trauma.

[46:41] Um, unfortunately, and this allows him to weasel his way back.

[46:44] Yeah.

[46:45] He just, he, it's, you know, it's that little crack that he just pries open and, uh, this

[46:50] things come to a head.

[46:51] Eventually Javier's like, you know, clearly you want to be with my wife.

[46:56] You love her.

[46:57] And he's like, I totally do love her.

[46:58] And he's like, okay, they're your family now, dude.

[47:02] And Javier abandons his family.

[47:04] Yeah.

[47:05] And he, he's like, you know, he tells his wife, he's like, yeah, I got a job as a mechanic

[47:09] so you can stay here with Antonio Banderas forever.

[47:11] And she's like, that's crazy.

[47:12] Like, yeah, it's just like, I kind of want you to stay.

[47:15] My husband's who I love and you're the father of my child.

[47:18] Why are you leaving?

[47:19] Yeah.

[47:20] There's the thing about Javier and I couldn't tell if this was offensive or not, is it's

[47:24] the idea of like the humble, simple peasant who works, works with his hands on the soil

[47:30] and he just has his principles, he lives by, and he may not be a, he may not be a school

[47:33] smart man.

[47:34] He has his, he has his, his life honor.

[47:37] But it's taken to such a crazy degree of like, like just him being dumb and like, can you

[47:42] not see how what's actually going on around?

[47:44] But he's like, I took a job as a mechanic, now I can leave and you won't have to deal

[47:47] with me.

[47:48] And his wife is like, I'd rather you stay and not drink anymore.

[47:50] Like that's still like you, it's the problem is not you.

[47:54] So Antonio Banderas, I guess, marries, marries this woman who now is husbandless and we get

[48:01] chapter four, Rodrigo Gonzalez, where we get another fast forward, uh, Rigo is now a grown

[48:07] up, uh, college age dude.

[48:10] We see him like running and there's like a series of dissolves as he gets older.

[48:13] And I, I, at this point in the movie, I said, wouldn't it be crazy if at the end of the

[48:16] series of dissolves, he's Oscar Isaac and you're like, wait a minute movie, that doesn't

[48:22] make any sense at all.

[48:23] This is an inconsistent timeline.

[48:24] And then he, like when he shoots himself in the head, actually Doc Brown shows up at the

[48:31] last minute and sends him back in time.

[48:33] Yeah.

[48:34] And, uh, well, yeah, he keeps running and eventually he's, he's an old man with a cane

[48:39] and you're like four legs, two legs, three legs.

[48:43] Now we can save Thebes from the sphinx.

[48:46] He's running and running until he gets to the flash, his time treadmill, it's a portal

[48:50] through space.

[48:51] Uh, but it is, so we get, because I was thinking, I was thinking similar thing where I'm like,

[48:55] how long is he even running for?

[48:58] So the, this is the point where the movie is like, I don't feel like we've touched all

[49:04] the tragedy bases.

[49:06] Let's give this mom cancer.

[49:09] So Isabella, yes, is sick.

[49:11] She's got cancer.

[49:12] Um, but she has aged very well.

[49:15] I mean, time hasn't, time hasn't stopped.

[49:17] I mean, what's amazing is that a few of the characters age purely by being themselves,

[49:23] but like they get sick.

[49:24] So like she does, they, they don't really age her so much as they make her look sick.

[49:27] Like Mandy Patinkin is roughly the same age throughout the entire 21 years of his granddaughter's

[49:32] life.

[49:33] He just dies.

[49:34] His hair, white.

[49:35] He's like, I can't let the humans know that I am, I am an eternal, it makes sense for

[49:40] this character to die so that I can shave my beard and start my new life as Randy Patinkin,

[49:46] a race car driver.

[49:47] So he, uh, he's excited.

[49:50] Uh, he's been accepted to, uh, college at NYU, I'm assuming.

[49:54] Well, he's, he just says he was accepted to the university and I guess he goes to NYU

[49:58] as a, as a transfer.

[50:00] Yeah, and now that that's the most important detail

[50:05] His mother despite being sick. She makes her son leave

[50:09] And he heads off to New York City. Well, she eventually makes him leave

[50:16] Wow

[50:17] spoiler later on he meets

[50:21] What's-her-face Dylan and like he meets her on the night of his of her 21st birthday

[50:26] Uh-huh, and he was like what like eight or ten at the time of the bus crash

[50:30] Yeah, so like he he like deferred school for like nearly a decade

[50:34] Yeah, these timelines maybe military service in there. I don't know

[50:39] I don't think he was eight or ten. I think like six or seven. Yeah, I mean, I don't know about child

[50:45] Like he was clearly 17 years old. I was walking down the bus

[50:50] Nobody like cut his finger and count of the rings or anything

[50:53] For a fair amount of time and like the movie is it's hard to tell like how much time is supposed to be

[50:58] It's a very elastic timeline. Yeah, but he goes to college

[51:01] He goes and he excels top student on the track team most important thing though. He meets the best character in the movie

[51:08] That's right. Sherry Dixtein

[51:12] Sherry Dixtein is this like broadly drawn loud like broadly you think broadly drawn loud college girl

[51:19] But you know what? This is an injection of life and character that this movie so desperately requires

[51:24] There's only one thing wrong with this character

[51:27] Yes, that is her name is Sherry Dixtein and she is the most Gentile looking person

[51:32] They could have asked and I'm assuming that they wanted to go for maximum contrast with Rodrigo who he's Spanish

[51:38] His skin is slightly darker. He's kind of quiet and he's quiet

[51:42] So they went with like a loud blonde girl who like a bear she looks Midwestern

[51:46] She does not look like but her name is Sherry Dixtein from Long Island

[51:49] Yeah, she's clearly supposed to be like an upper-class like Jewish rich kid who goes to school and is dating this guy

[51:56] Maybe more for the life experience than anything else

[51:58] Yeah, and he like and he goes back to visit his mom and he tells her he tells his mom about her

[52:03] We can't really say much about her that she's loud. I'm like hell. Yeah, she's loud

[52:08] She comes from a magical place called Long Island

[52:12] She that's how she pronounces it. Yeah, she says Long Island

[52:14] She is such a character caricature and so aggressively unpleasant that you're like these. I don't know you're talking about not date

[52:20] No, never. I don't know how they meet

[52:23] It's like they and it's one of those things where it's like in any other movie

[52:26] I would be like I'm kind of offended by this character. She's so broadly drawn. She's so abrasive

[52:30] She's so thin but in this movie like Stewart saying I'm like, oh, yeah, give me the energy

[52:35] Give me the life like here's and here and the actress is like playing her to the hilt like the and and you know

[52:40] What Rigo's kind of kind of feel in the same way as Dan because he's about to break up with her until she tells him

[52:45] I'm

[52:46] Pregnant what whoa?

[52:49] Yeah, so she doesn't super cash she plays it off, you know perfectly there, you know, they're walking down the street

[52:55] They go for dinner Rigo's in his head. He's like, what am I gonna do? There's a moment where she brunch

[52:59] Whatever. They're NYU students. It's brunch. They're walking down the street

[53:02] There's a brief moment where a car is about to hit her and I'm like, that's what's gonna happen

[53:07] And then just fake out he pulls her out of the way the car she never even noticed this because he's so busy being like

[53:12] Where should I get my abortion? What abortion should I get? Yeah, he's laying it on real fix

[53:16] He saves the cat in this case. All right, he proves his value

[53:20] so they go they go to brunch and

[53:22] she

[53:24] Finally drops the hammer

[53:26] April Fool's bitch

[53:28] Goes so I've seen only have three options one have it to get an abortion or this is the most amazing April Fool's joke

[53:36] ever bitch

[53:37] And he's like, okay

[53:39] Yes, April Fool's

[53:41] It's just like she has to explain the concept of April Fool's. It was like movie

[53:45] Why did you and you know like I feel the end of her time in the movie?

[53:49] I feel bad that Sherry Dickstein meant like she put so much effort into this performance

[53:54] I was I was as shocked as everyone. This was an April Fool's. This is the one. This is the one

[54:00] To pay off like misdirect that actually works in the movie and it works because she is so over-the-top already talking about this pregnancy that

[54:08] I was like, I was like, how could she be so casual about this?

[54:10] Oh, I see. So but like and then of course he dumps her cuz how could you not so that the narrator had previously made?

[54:18] Us believe that this was the most important day in

[54:21] Rodrigo's life and we assumed it was because he found out he was a father that it's not the case

[54:26] It's because his mom died

[54:28] Was not the only reason as we see there's nothing but uh, her mom died his mom dies and as his mom is dying

[54:35] Antonio Medeiros is like I've got a special surprise for you

[54:39] On audience show it show her what she's won and who should walk out not looking like he's aged either

[54:45] Javier the man who abandoned her ten years earlier this

[54:50] Infuriated my movie-watching pal. She was like what we're supposed to believe

[54:53] This is a fucking good guy because he comes back when she's dying

[54:56] Yeah, it's crazy and he comes over and they hold hands and they're smiling at each other like

[55:02] Good to see you, buddy. Hey, remember all those times we shared. It's great. Well, what do you been up to Diana cancer? Cool?

[55:08] It's been a while

[55:10] And we learned that Antonio Medeiros has for years been writing letters to Javier, which feels like a huge betrayal

[55:17] Yeah, because he's giving updates to the man that abandoned his family and I have to assume that at a certain point

[55:24] He stops asking him to come back in the letters and the letters to come really perfunctory and it's like dear Javier

[55:30] Hope you're doing good at that mechanics garage or whatever. Rodrigo's doing great. Isabelle's doing great still won't sleep with me

[55:36] She says she'll never love me the way that she loved you. Hey, so anyway, peace out. Cool. Yeah, the olives are doing good

[55:42] I noticed you never ask about them

[55:45] Do you think there's this they cut a scene where Antonio Medeiros has to break the news to the olives that Javier is going

[55:51] You know, they just all fall off the tree

[55:54] Won't be here to stick you in your ears his ears anymore. Yep

[55:58] So at this point, this is where we realized that this was all just a long episode of how I met your mother

[56:06] Because Rigo goes jogging and he bumps into

[56:09] I guess a newly awoken Dylan

[56:13] Dempsey

[56:14] On the bench where she went to and had this dream vision of her mother's death

[56:18] We did a very eventful day for Rodrigo

[56:21] He he breaks up with his girlfriend his mom dies and he meets his future wife most important life

[56:27] They said man, that's gonna that's gotta make like in there in their future life that day's got to be a rough one

[56:34] That's a rough anniversary to celebrate. Yeah, that's true. It's a bittersweet. This also raises the question. So

[56:40] Dylan kind of it seems sort of this

[56:43] I think there's a hint that she recognizes him from her dream vision of seeing him as a boy in the bus

[56:47] Uh-huh, Abby died and it's like so did she get so mad and drunk that she tapped into the collective memory of the universe at

[56:53] That point like is it did she eat that herb that lets her go to where her Wakandan ancestors live?

[56:59] Yeah in the afterlife so she could talk to him about what happens like she probably did that

[57:03] They shouldn't have cut out that scene because Black Panther was huge

[57:07] Into the Black Panther universe. Yeah

[57:10] So and guys then the then the the real hammer drops guys, we find out this was all a book

[57:19] It's a memoir called life itself, uh-huh

[57:23] Written by and being read out loud at a bookstore at a surprisingly well attended bookstore reading considering the quality of the material

[57:29] So it's yeah, so we were now into chapter 5. We're in the homestretch guys

[57:33] I don't know what the title was because I was so angrily scrawled these notes at this point

[57:38] Can I give you that the two crazy things about this reveal, okay. Yeah. Yeah number one

[57:44] The woman this it's the daughter of Rodrigo and Dylan. Yeah, who wrote this memoir and

[57:50] She she's like and they didn't spend a night apart for the next 42 years

[57:55] First off that is bonkers. They just met they're gonna spend the next night together, too

[57:59] Yeah, but also like for 42 years

[58:02] Like no one went someplace for a night without the other person

[58:05] It really hurt both their careers because they could not do business trip

[58:08] It's it's especially complicated considering he has family on another continent. Like they had to travel together all the time

[58:14] 100% insane, but number two

[58:17] Depending like depending on when the movie starts. Yes. Okay, like this woman is either giving this

[58:23] book thing 42 years in the future or now or

[58:27] 63 years

[58:29] Because of the 21 years. Yes

[58:32] That Dylan was yeah, so like there should be fucking like space boots

[58:38] This movie starting from Abby as a girl through her granddaughter as an adult

[58:43] Yeah movie all seems to take place in the year 2017. Yeah, so it's like

[58:48] Everyone it's like it should be bookstores anymore

[58:51] Reading on there like fucking brain scans

[58:53] Then I started being like so if that's now

[58:55] Was the rest of the movie taking place in the 1970s because they dressed up as pulp fiction

[58:59] So maybe they're supposed to be in college in the 90s

[59:01] Yeah

[59:02] but everything else about it looks just like right now like

[59:05] But then she would still be in the in the 2030s. Yeah

[59:08] Yeah, she's reading for only the moments where it's it's explicitly meant to be a flashback

[59:13] That's the only time when we get the feeling like something takes place in the past

[59:17] So it like all takes place in this like nether

[59:19] Constant world that seems terrifying because I don't want to be trapped in fucking 2018

[59:25] Like the worst thing ever like that's the true tragedy of this movie

[59:28] There was some kind of Kurt Vonnegut style timequake or remains president for the next hundred years

[59:34] It like the it's it's such a weird. It's a weird choice

[59:37] And he does it so that to keep you off balance

[59:40] Yeah, can't in your head know what the timeline is till the very end but instantly you're like hold on a second

[59:45] So like we're in this world

[59:48] Like is is technology cyclical and everyone decided they hated e-readers

[59:53] guys, I haven't attended a lot of book readings, but is it usually the decision of the author to basically read the

[1:00:00] Well, specifically like the last chapter, I could finish it up like,

[1:00:04] well, we're all done, you don't have to buy it.

[1:00:06] I'll be accepting returns in a minute.

[1:00:08] Well, that's like the...

[1:00:09] I assume she read the entire book except for the Sam Jackson narrative part.

[1:00:12] I mean...

[1:00:13] Yeah, she played that off of a tape.

[1:00:14] They brought Sam Jackson in for that.

[1:00:16] I mean, there was, when Jonathan Lethem's book, Chronic City, came out,

[1:00:19] he did do a stunt where over a series of, I think, nine readings,

[1:00:23] he read through the entirety of the book.

[1:00:25] But that was explicitly a stunt.

[1:00:27] And it was like, people would go and sit all night listening to this.

[1:00:30] So it's like, unless she's doing that, in which case,

[1:00:33] she's just ripping off Jonathan Lethem, which is crazy.

[1:00:36] Like, yeah, usually you don't read the very end of the book

[1:00:39] and then close and go, and that's the book.

[1:00:41] We did it.

[1:00:42] Somebody, I forget who it was, tweeted something about like,

[1:00:44] I'm a college professor in the movie.

[1:00:45] I don't get to the point of my lesson until the very last minute,

[1:00:47] and then I yell at you to do your homework as you're walking out.

[1:00:50] That's what this feels like, where it's like,

[1:00:52] a real book reading wouldn't go like this,

[1:00:53] but I really need to do it for my movie this way.

[1:00:55] Yeah, and there's like one last flashback where we see like the dying mom

[1:00:59] talk to Rodrigo and she gives him some advice.

[1:01:01] But the crazy thing is she's giving this speech to him when he's a little boy.

[1:01:08] So was she dying for his whole life?

[1:01:11] Well, no.

[1:01:12] So here's my take on that.

[1:01:13] Or did he morph?

[1:01:14] Yes.

[1:01:15] He morphed?

[1:01:16] You can morph?

[1:01:17] My take on that, and this is the one –

[1:01:18] like how Sherry Dickstein is the one moment in the movie where I was like,

[1:01:21] actually, this might not be so terrible.

[1:01:23] This is the one technical thing he does in the movie that I really like a lot.

[1:01:26] So she's giving him this speech about you need to go to college.

[1:01:29] You can't stay with me while I'm dying, and it's a terrible speech.

[1:01:32] And I have to give the actress –

[1:01:33] I forget her name – playing Isabella credit because it is all in one take.

[1:01:35] It is terrible, and she really does a good job performing what is a very poorly written speech.

[1:01:40] That life has its ups and downs, but love is always there,

[1:01:43] and I'm always going to live on through you.

[1:01:45] So when you live your life, I'm living that life.

[1:01:47] So I need you to go and live this life for me.

[1:01:50] Then it – and she's talking to him as he's about to go off to college,

[1:01:53] and then it cuts back to him, and he's a little boy, and he hugs her.

[1:01:56] And I'm like – in that moment, I'm like, okay, that is like –

[1:01:59] we're seeing his emotion right there.

[1:02:01] We're not seeing him physically.

[1:02:02] We're seeing his relationship to her in that moment even though no matter how much he grows up,

[1:02:06] he'll always be her son, always be her child.

[1:02:08] And she has – the only place he can find that –

[1:02:11] like he's had so much trouble being a boy since that bus accident,

[1:02:15] and the only place he feels safe and he feels comforted is in the arms of his mother.

[1:02:19] Eat no matter how old he gets.

[1:02:20] And I'm like, okay, that's a – like that was a genuinely like –

[1:02:23] if this was a better movie, I'd be like, that's a beautiful –

[1:02:25] it reminded me of at the end of the movie Tempopo.

[1:02:28] It was all about people eating.

[1:02:29] The shot over the credits is just a mother nursing a baby, and it's –

[1:02:34] and I found it so powerful because it was like, oh, that's what people are searching for when they're looking for food.

[1:02:39] Their entire life is they want that first meal when they were feeding off their mother,

[1:02:43] and what they were eating was the love and care of another human being.

[1:02:47] And like you'll never feel that connection from food that you felt when you were feeding from your mother's breast,

[1:02:52] but you're searching for it, and everyone –

[1:02:54] It's like that first bump.

[1:02:56] Exactly.

[1:02:57] Yeah, exactly.

[1:02:58] And that high, you never reach it again.

[1:03:00] And so in that moment, I was like that's kind of a beautiful way for –

[1:03:03] I felt like for him to show that thing, but it's done really haphazardly.

[1:03:06] So it's possible I'm wrong, and it turns out that's not what he meant.

[1:03:09] It does seem like he morphed into his younger self, like Michael Jackson at the end of Black or White video.

[1:03:15] He's just changing shape as he finds his ultimate form.

[1:03:18] Yeah, yeah.

[1:03:19] A panther.

[1:03:20] Yeah.

[1:03:21] A Brodian figure decides on panther.

[1:03:24] A panther who then breaks a car for no reason.

[1:03:27] I think he has a reason.

[1:03:29] Do you guys remember when that video came out and there's that whole scene where he's smashing up a car while yelling?

[1:03:33] And he's constantly grabbing his crotch.

[1:03:35] And people reacted as if this was the most offensive thing they had ever seen.

[1:03:39] No, there's a huge freakout.

[1:03:40] A huge freakout, and looking back, I still don't understand what the problem was.

[1:03:43] Was it the crotch or was it the violence?

[1:03:45] And it's like, I'm like, all he's doing is trying to get some extra points after a Street Fighter match by smashing up that car.

[1:03:50] Like, what's the big deal?

[1:03:52] That's a bonus round, dude.

[1:03:53] I remember it well because it was like, and now the debut.

[1:03:55] It was like, right after The Simpsons.

[1:03:56] It's like, thanks for the debut of Michael Jackson's new video.

[1:03:58] It's like, looking back, it's like, why did that happen?

[1:04:01] It was huge.

[1:04:02] It had Macaulay Culkin in it.

[1:04:03] Yeah, it did.

[1:04:04] People were like, hold on.

[1:04:05] The titanic talents of Michael Jackson and Macaulay Culkin in one production?

[1:04:08] I've got to see it.

[1:04:09] And then looking back, it's like, it was a huge buildup.

[1:04:11] Speaking of that video again, it's like, this is kind of a silly video.

[1:04:13] Yeah.

[1:04:14] That it starts with Macaulay Culkin's dad getting mad at him about playing music.

[1:04:17] Macaulay Culkin blasts the music so hard that his dad's Lazy Boy recliner is shot across the world to Africa.

[1:04:23] And then there's some hungry lions looking at him.

[1:04:26] So I guess it's implied the dad has eaten.

[1:04:28] And then, of course, the song starts.

[1:04:30] It's like, what is going on in this thing?

[1:04:32] So he hugs her in what I found to be beautiful.

[1:04:36] It was very confusing.

[1:04:37] And it's, okay, we've just heard this stupid speech that sums up the movie.

[1:04:40] It's over, right?

[1:04:41] No, because his daughter, finishing her book, has to do the same speech, basically.

[1:04:46] Yeah, it's the same speech.

[1:04:48] We get some, like, Benjamin Button-style shots from characters previous in the movie.

[1:04:53] And then, like, it ends with Oscar, Isaac, and Olivia Wilde just saying, hey, what's up?

[1:04:59] Just being like, hey.

[1:05:00] Doing that thing that couples do in movies where they wake up and go, hey.

[1:05:04] Or they finish sex and look at each other in the eyes and go, hi.

[1:05:08] It's like, ugh, I hate it so much.

[1:05:11] Okay, I'll write this note down, Elliot, next time we have sex.

[1:05:15] I won't say hi.

[1:05:16] Stop looking at my eyes and going, hi.

[1:05:18] It's like, I know you're here.

[1:05:19] We just had sex.

[1:05:20] I didn't black out from my orgasm, and now I have to remember what's going on and where I am.

[1:05:25] Let me give you a memento.

[1:05:27] What am I doing?

[1:05:28] I'm not Dana Carpenter in Blank Slate.

[1:05:31] Wait, he's in Blank Slate because he comes too hard?

[1:05:34] I never saw the movie.

[1:05:35] I assume that's the case.

[1:05:38] Oh, wow.

[1:05:39] Okay.

[1:05:40] It doesn't make someone feel good.

[1:05:42] It makes someone feel curious and confused.

[1:05:45] So, guys, that was life itself.

[1:05:47] I think that's the whole movie.

[1:05:48] That's the whole movie.

[1:05:49] I did want to take a moment to tell you guys again on the record about a dream I had the other night, which I told you about yesterday.

[1:05:53] I had a dream where Stanley presented his first pitch for the powers for the X-Men, and the only one who was still the same was Angel, and the rest were all different.

[1:06:01] One of the X-Men's powers was that he could make women come with his mind, and Martin Goodman, the owner of Marvel, was like, you've got to change this, man.

[1:06:09] This is for children.

[1:06:10] We can't let that be his power.

[1:06:13] The only other character I remember, his power was that he was really sticky.

[1:06:18] So this was a dream I had.

[1:06:20] Anyway.

[1:06:21] An effect that can be achieved by covering yourself with gum.

[1:06:25] You say that as if that's super easy to do.

[1:06:29] All you have to do is cover yourself in gum.

[1:06:31] Like, that takes a minute.

[1:06:35] Haven't you watched Dan's two-minute-long life hack video?

[1:06:39] Here's a life hack.

[1:06:40] If you're not sticky enough, just take ordinary gum and apply it to every square inch of your body.

[1:06:46] Remember to leave one inch open so that your skin can breathe so you don't die like the woman with the gold finger, or as I call it, gum finger.

[1:06:53] The movie in which James Bond has to stop Arik, gum finger, from stealing all the gum in Fort Wrigley.

[1:06:59] Okay.

[1:07:01] So that was life itself.

[1:07:03] Stuart, you did a fantastic job of summarizing a very good movie.

[1:07:06] Thanks, guys.

[1:07:07] Let's do final judgments.

[1:07:09] Was this a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie you kind of like?

[1:07:12] Stuart, what do you have to say?

[1:07:13] It's tough.

[1:07:15] I think I wish this movie was sillier so it would be a good, bad movie.

[1:07:19] I mean this is worse than Gotti.

[1:07:22] This is a bad movie.

[1:07:23] We owe Gotti a big apology.

[1:07:25] This was much worse than that, yeah.

[1:07:27] So no, I think this is a bad, bad movie.

[1:07:29] I don't think it's silly enough or fun enough to watch to make it a good, bad movie.

[1:07:32] I guess it's curious because of how terrible it is.

[1:07:36] I'm going to say, Stuart, when I – the first half of this movie, I was like, this is a bad, bad movie.

[1:07:40] I hate it.

[1:07:41] By the end of the movie, I was like, you know what, movie?

[1:07:43] You're so crazy.

[1:07:44] I'm going to call you a good, bad movie.

[1:07:45] I think if you watch it by yourself, you're going to get mad.

[1:07:49] There are times when I was like, Book of Henry, move over.

[1:07:53] There's a new crappy movie in town.

[1:07:55] Yeah, I watched it together, and the more we talked about it, the more we had like a sneaking affection for it.

[1:08:00] We're just like that movie was so crazy and so weird, and there was so much shit that went on in it.

[1:08:05] And it's a movie that thinks it is so profound and so clever, and it's very dumb and hollow.

[1:08:11] It's got that perfect sweet spot once you've seen the whole thing with another person I guess.

[1:08:17] Between intention and execution where it's like I'm going to blow people's minds with a statement about love and Bob Dylan and family that just like is a capstone on human achievement.

[1:08:29] And then you watch it, and you're like, what?

[1:08:31] I feel like in some ways this actually makes a really good date movie because you will have a blast talking about it afterwards.

[1:08:38] Yeah, that's true.

[1:08:39] Yeah, I'm giving it a good, bad personally.

[1:08:42] And it's also like –

[1:08:44] Maybe it's turned into a cat movie.

[1:08:47] Turned into a cat woman.

[1:08:54] I guess we're all doing morphs now.

[1:08:56] Cool, I wish somebody told me.

[1:08:58] That movie makes crime.

[1:09:02] I mean I feel like it's also a good way if you're on a date.

[1:09:05] If it turns out the other person loved the movie and really connected with it, you're like maybe –

[1:09:10] Check please.

[1:09:12] Is there a dog in a car at a bar on the street?

[1:09:21] Yay!

[1:09:22] I'm Alay Gringo, a small dog owner.

[1:09:24] My dog Pistachio howls when she's excited.

[1:09:26] And I'm Rene Colbert, a big dog owner.

[1:09:28] My dog Tugboat tips over when he's sleepy.

[1:09:30] And we co-host a podcast called Can I Pet Your Dog that airs every Tuesday.

[1:09:33] We bring you all things dog.

[1:09:35] Yes, dog news, dog tech, dogs we met this week.

[1:09:38] We also have pretty famous guests on butt legs.

[1:09:40] We're not going to let them talk about their projects.

[1:09:42] No.

[1:09:43] Just want to hear about those dogs.

[1:09:44] We don't want to hear about your stuff, only your dogs.

[1:09:46] So join us every Tuesday on MaxFun.

[1:10:00] is in itself an art form in our opinion there are underlying forms and structures that serve

[1:10:05] as a scaffolding for any creative endeavor we've been lucky enough over the past year to talk to

[1:10:10] some of our friends and acquaintances from across the creative spectrum to find out how they

[1:10:13] actually work we weirdly don't know as many musicians as you would expect new episodes

[1:10:18] will be coming every other monday starting january 28th so please listen and subscribe

[1:10:24] at maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcast

[1:10:31] uh we have a couple of advertisements sponsors thank you sponsors thanks for helping us stay

[1:10:37] afloat in this boat that we call the ss flop house to dan what are the commercials uh well

[1:10:42] support from the flop house comes from casper a sleep brand that continues to revolutionize

[1:10:47] its line of products to create an exceptionally comfortable comfortable sleep experience one night

[1:10:53] at a time at casper mattresses are perfectly designed for humans good engineer to i think dan

[1:10:59] you mean perfectly designed engineer to soothe and cradle your natural geometry what i don't know i'm

[1:11:07] reading a copy okay apparently we're a bunch of squares and cylinders and circles i mean

[1:11:13] an artist would tell you you got to break down the figure into basic forms and shapes

[1:11:18] so that's casper's doing i mean then you fill them out you don't just leave them as like a well and

[1:11:22] that's what casper does too let me cast you still have geometry even if you're a person look cast

[1:11:27] from on your side you're the artist of mattresses okay you can't spell mattress without the words

[1:11:31] the letters that are in art but the word itself is not like in mattress that's pretty good i like

[1:11:36] that one you can be sure of your purchase with casper's 100 night risk-free sleep on it trial

[1:11:42] with free shipping and returns in the u.s and canada uh i have a casper mattress yeah it's a

[1:11:49] delight it's served me well and i've had it for me that gross you did make that grass i didn't

[1:11:56] there was no implications the way it was your face it's all it's all on your face it was i

[1:12:01] got a good night's sleep on it but it served me well it applies any number of uses for this mattress

[1:12:06] none of them wholesome uh look you can get 50 toward select mattresses by visiting casper.com

[1:12:14] slash flophouse and using promo code flophouse at checkout as for mattress it's like sleeping

[1:12:19] on a ghost terms and conditions apply um and we also have one jumbotron jumbotron this is for

[1:12:28] and i'm gonna mangle his name truth cell truth cell spell it out it's true uh t z e l well how

[1:12:37] would you say that uh why don't you give it a try okay i got this one guys it is truth soul

[1:12:45] and the message the message is from rob i got that one i think andre's got you a real wedding

[1:12:52] gift but i figured this would be was more appropriate since you used to play the flop

[1:12:57] house for shireen when you were dating even though she clearly wasn't interested i'm with shireen

[1:13:03] plus i wanted to hear how dan would pronounce your last name

[1:13:08] so excited that you found someone you love you both mean a lot to andre's and i

[1:13:13] love rob that's that's a lovely sentiment that's very nice that's very sweet i'm glad that you

[1:13:18] baked into it dan being unable to pronounce certain things yeah uh every time you see a

[1:13:24] word that you've never seen before you know it's a you might not be able to pronounce it the first

[1:13:27] time so this is gonna be it's true so let's not be too hard on dan the guy's doing his best god

[1:13:33] love him wow is this like a setup what are you doing uh stewart dan was hit by a bus oh wow but

[1:13:38] the baby survived your father uh okay well i'm gonna go see that baby uh oh i thought where is

[1:13:44] it movie i mean i i left it at home because i didn't think you'd want to see it but you left

[1:13:48] it at home i mean hello yeah the cat taking care of it uh i figured if the wet bandits stopped by

[1:13:55] the baby could just set up some traps but uh stewart your reaction to it was the regular

[1:13:59] human reaction of i will i still love this baby i still love this baby as opposed to the oscar

[1:14:03] isaac reaction which is i'll never see this baby again and i have to have my horsemen attack the x

[1:14:07] men i guess i'll make a robot baby what their oscar isaac movies are there uh a little movie

[1:14:14] called star wars oh yeah yeah right yeah and then he's like oh i don't trust laura dern maybe she

[1:14:19] has a baby a little movie called ex machina i mentioned robots keep moving uh annihilation

[1:14:25] he's like sometimes i have a southern accent and sometimes i don't uh the coen brothers one where

[1:14:30] he's a singer guy about bob dylan uh inside lewin davis inside lewin davis yeah uh he's like let me

[1:14:36] let me sing you a song a most violent years that were those yeah i like that one that one's all

[1:14:40] right it's got a great car chase in it and it's got some great outfits yeah that's true if on

[1:14:46] outfits and interior design i give that movie 100 so this episode is going to come out one day

[1:14:52] before we have our live show in brooklyn so we should still promote that you did we definitely

[1:14:57] should february 3rd super bowl sunday in brooklyn at the bell house maybe you were a new orleans fan

[1:15:03] who is feeling maybe not as interested to watch this sham of a super bowl the champer bowl let's

[1:15:10] call it doors open at seven for eight o'clock show get there early to get a seat if you like

[1:15:14] that sort of thing yeah by that sort of thing i mean sitting down if you don't like standing and

[1:15:18] like having if you like resting the pressure of your body on your butt instead of your feet

[1:15:22] get there early uh as the bell house people may know it is a mostly standing room place but it's

[1:15:26] also got some seats uh make sure you bring identification because they are very big about

[1:15:32] carding they do card uh that you if they were uh if they were a pop artist they'd be cardi b

[1:15:37] oh okay if they were if they were a if they were a famous person famous for being famous they would

[1:15:42] be kim kardashian if they were a sci-fi writer with say let's say bad political views uh they'd

[1:15:48] be orson scott card and if they were in star trek they'd be robert picardo

[1:15:54] it's always from if they were in freaks and geeks why didn't you say gremlins too

[1:15:58] more people know him from star trek than gremlins too what i don't feel at home in this world

[1:16:04] anymore if you were a if you were the oppressor of the huguenots in france they'd be cardinal reese

[1:16:10] um so if they were harrison ford's character in blade runner they'd be deckard if they were a show

[1:16:21] that i haven't watched for a long time it would be house of cards if they were a game that i don't

[1:16:26] enjoy that much but a lot of people i know enjoy it so i end up having to play it they'd be cards

[1:16:30] against humanity they're my dad's favorite sports team they would be the cardinals oh cool he did

[1:16:36] but that's still good but the point is we're going to be talking about the happy time murders

[1:16:41] sunday february 3rd super bowl sunday the bell house you know what it's like come on come on down

[1:16:46] and see us uh so as often as the case in these hotel room episodes i have not chosen the letters

[1:16:52] beforehand uh that happens when we're doing it regular too okay this is uh off the top of the

[1:17:00] okay so dealer's choice this is gonna be interesting or not uh hey peaches this is

[1:17:08] from so wait is this the letter yeah he chose one or are you just talking to us this is from eric

[1:17:13] last name withheld roberts hey peaches thanks for coming out to frozen ass wisconsin last night this

[1:17:19] is a there's a new letter this is oh wow the presses which is good because it's very cold

[1:17:23] out we need something hot dan has to wear an oven mitt it's so hot great show made my birthday

[1:17:28] on his penis weird very weird made my birthday weekend complete the only bad part was when you

[1:17:33] said let's have two no three more questions when i was number four in line oh man that was my

[1:17:39] mistake i should have said four questions and then we could have had a passover seder anyway

[1:17:44] here's the question i was going to ask the end credits for venom have funky graphics with songs

[1:17:49] from eminem and run the jewels this makes me wonder what are your favorite opening or closing

[1:17:53] credits either visually or musically or both keep on flopping eric last name withheld i mean

[1:18:00] i'm a purist it's hard for me to default any saw bass credit opening credit sequence i particularly

[1:18:05] like north by northwest myself north of us great and i love the psycho opening sequence the music

[1:18:09] is amazing and it's literally just lines going back and forth across the screen basically but

[1:18:12] it looks fantastic and it like somehow really sets up the movie you're going to see without

[1:18:17] actually showing you anything related to the movie that you're about to see i don't know

[1:18:21] uh the movie watchman is pretty terrible but i think the opening credits are super great and

[1:18:26] with uh the times they are a change in playing over and it's just like series a little musician

[1:18:30] uh and it's uh yeah it's like a that's if you have any interest in watching a film version

[1:18:38] of watchman or a tv version of watchman which i guess is coming just watch the opening credits

[1:18:42] and then not watch anymore and i have to say that closing credit sequence of into the spider

[1:18:47] where it's literally just like tons of spider-men doing all sorts of crazy silly stuff i was like

[1:18:52] this is exactly what i want out of the world like that was that was really fantastically done this

[1:18:56] is a movie that's lost a little bit luster for me because it's just kind of like nihilistic and who

[1:19:01] cares uh but seven when i first saw it an amazing opening credit sequence and very effective closing

[1:19:07] credit sequence just by just by running the credits in the opposite direction of the normal

[1:19:12] did you uh when were you like me in the theater and you like

[1:19:16] did a handstand because you're like i must have messed something up

[1:19:21] when i was in uh during my brief time that i lived in saint paul uh i went to the art museum

[1:19:26] there and they had a uh presentation that was just about the art of the title sequence they

[1:19:30] had like 30 title sequences and it was so much fun i wish that like i wish another place could

[1:19:36] do that again so i could go see something like that again i mean okay maybe they will

[1:19:40] and any museums are listening a humble request by dan mccoy um what i remember one of them was

[1:19:50] the opening to barbarella where like the letters of our relic keep like covering up her like

[1:19:54] bits and pieces yep and uh very well put very very sensitively

[1:20:00] Right. Especially in the life itself episode.

[1:20:04] But it just more than the title sequence itself.

[1:20:08] It just struck me how stupid the song is for because like Barbarella

[1:20:13] Kakushella, there's a kind of something about you, my Barbarella.

[1:20:20] It's like, OK, this is so 60s, but it's not even from the 60s.

[1:20:24] Like, yeah, I think one something that I used to not like,

[1:20:27] but I like a lot now is is the big credit sequence at the end of the movie.

[1:20:31] I remember seeing High Fidelity

[1:20:32] and there was a big credit sequence like that at the end.

[1:20:35] And I was like, why would you put this at the end to the beginning?

[1:20:37] But now that they put especially like superhero movies,

[1:20:40] they put them at the end.

[1:20:41] And it means that you can use the characters from the movie

[1:20:44] in the sequence without it being a spoiler.

[1:20:46] And it's kind of fun now to see these like kind of fantasies

[1:20:49] on the theme of what we've just seen in the movie.

[1:20:51] Like just design, just the characters being used as design elements

[1:20:54] in neat ways is really cool.

[1:20:55] It's like every every super movie gets its own like James Bond credit sequence,

[1:20:59] but they can use anything in the movie

[1:21:01] because they don't have to worry about tipping you off the plot point.

[1:21:04] And the and I should have mentioned the James Bond credit sequences,

[1:21:06] which, of course, are crazy.

[1:21:08] Are they? Wait, is there something about those?

[1:21:10] They're not just super normal credit sequences.

[1:21:13] I mean, they usually have a lady silhouettes shooting abstract objects.

[1:21:19] Geometric bodies.

[1:21:22] This is from, let's see, Holly.

[1:21:25] Last name withheld politely.

[1:21:27] It's titled Love Letter to Stuart Wellington.

[1:21:29] Oh, cool. I hope it's not my ex-girlfriend, Holly.

[1:21:33] Let's get down to business.

[1:21:34] You all just finished doing your live show in Madison, Wisconsin.

[1:21:37] Yep. It's kind of crazy that this episode is going to be all responses

[1:21:40] to Madison, Wisconsin.

[1:21:41] It's going to be released before that way before.

[1:21:44] We've got so many live shows to get to before this Madison show.

[1:21:46] Anyway.

[1:21:48] First of all, thank you.

[1:21:49] Second of all, Elliott, Dan and Stuart,

[1:21:51] please don't forget to come back to Madison when you have the chance.

[1:21:53] Side story.

[1:21:54] My roommates and I pregame tonight with some very delightful

[1:21:57] green and copious amounts of Tito's vodka.

[1:22:00] Cool. They pregame for a popular concert and I for a live podcast

[1:22:04] taping of the flop house.

[1:22:05] While none of my friends wanted to join me in seeing the show lame,

[1:22:08] I said I sat in my apartment after the show thinking I should send an email

[1:22:12] in this current state.

[1:22:13] I follow the story by asking if you were to insert yourself

[1:22:16] into any college party movie scenario, what movie would it be and why?

[1:22:20] Feel free to include delightful stories of college shenanigans.

[1:22:24] I'll be ending this email with the most important part.

[1:22:26] Stuart Wellington might be the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

[1:22:30] While podcasts are mainly audible format, I have lived this long

[1:22:34] not realizing that Stuart is truly on par with Chris Hemsworth.

[1:22:37] Wow. I've seen him in real life.

[1:22:39] I may have been too intoxicated to ask for his hand in marriage too late,

[1:22:43] but I wish he knows that he is as beautiful.

[1:22:45] And I would order him a pizza any time.

[1:22:48] Let me just say that Stuart may just have appeared the beautiful next to me

[1:22:52] and Dan, who are not at the same level.

[1:22:55] Yeah, yeah. Please knock me down a little bit more.

[1:22:59] I just don't want to get too big ahead, Mr. Hemsworth.

[1:23:01] Oh, man. Yeah.

[1:23:03] He's is he the most attractive, Chris?

[1:23:05] I don't know. No, Chris Pine. Yeah, you're right.

[1:23:07] Yeah. Look at those eyes.

[1:23:09] Oh, man. Just beautiful blue diamonds.

[1:23:11] Blue diamonds.

[1:23:12] The problem with this question is most college movies

[1:23:15] we've come to realize are reprehensible.

[1:23:17] I mean, if I could go to any college party in a movie, I'd go to the college

[1:23:21] party in life itself to tell Olivia Wilde not to marry Oscar Isaac.

[1:23:24] Yeah, I mean, that's a setter down a path of destruction.

[1:23:27] This is all going to lead to you being hit by a bus and your daughter,

[1:23:30] your granddaughter is going to write a shitty book.

[1:23:32] So let's not even do this.

[1:23:33] I mean, I feel like my college experience was closer to that movie

[1:23:41] PCU. OK.

[1:23:43] But but no, I feel like my

[1:23:50] I feel like I don't I don't know what whatever.

[1:23:54] I'd probably want to be in like Everybody Wants Some, a movie

[1:23:57] that I've extolled the virtues of multiple times.

[1:23:59] That's like your fantasy movie.

[1:24:00] It's it's it's my fantasy movie.

[1:24:03] Yeah, I just see you think about like, oh, that's that's for the day.

[1:24:05] Those guys, those guys seem like they had a good time.

[1:24:08] Yeah, maybe they don't seem that irritating.

[1:24:11] Maybe I'd go to that party in Revenge of the Nerds and be like,

[1:24:13] that's not your boyfriend.

[1:24:15] It's a nerd in a Darth Vader costume.

[1:24:16] Don't sleep with him.

[1:24:18] Yeah. Revenge of the Nerds is a rough one.

[1:24:20] Yeah. I mean, I would basically be ogre showing up, yelling nerds over and over.

[1:24:25] Who knew that ogre was the hero of the movie?

[1:24:27] Yeah. I'm looking at college movies.

[1:24:29] Sorry. It's perfect.

[1:24:32] I mean, I can see you having fun singing and rock appello with them.

[1:24:35] I would I would that would be a delight.

[1:24:38] I don't have any like many college stories.

[1:24:40] I my friend Brian Davis

[1:24:43] used to have a what he called soiree in his dorm room every Wednesday,

[1:24:49] like literally every Wednesday, a dorm room party.

[1:24:52] And my main experience of those was.

[1:24:56] Half the time, just stopping by being like, hey, I've got a paper to write.

[1:24:59] I'll see you guys later.

[1:25:01] So that's about the kind of party or I was in college.

[1:25:04] Mm hmm. Yeah, I didn't.

[1:25:06] I didn't go to any parties in college.

[1:25:07] Yeah, I was too busy living the life of the city.

[1:25:09] You know, why don't you guys go to parties? They're fun.

[1:25:11] Well, I mean, I was in New York.

[1:25:12] So I was busy solving crimes.

[1:25:13] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1:25:15] You're delivering pizzas into the sewer system for the Ninja Turtles.

[1:25:18] Yeah. Desperately searching for them.

[1:25:20] Desperately seeking Susan.

[1:25:21] Oh, wow. What a movie.

[1:25:23] There was a I would be like getting ready for a party

[1:25:25] and then some brassy dame would walk in with a story and gams from here to heaven.

[1:25:29] And I'd have to get involved with some shenanigans.

[1:25:31] Yeah. A web of deceit and seduction.

[1:25:33] Oh, I'm still looking for another suitable letter, Vamp Vamp.

[1:25:41] Yeah. So blah, blah, blah.

[1:25:44] We're vampires here in Madison, Wisconsin.

[1:25:48] So why would a vampire be here, Elliot?

[1:25:51] Oh, that's a good question.

[1:25:52] Let's do some character work.

[1:25:53] Why would a vampire be?

[1:25:54] I mean, what are there is there a movie set in the Midwest

[1:25:58] where it's like an ordinary Midwestern family,

[1:26:00] but they have one ancestor who's a vampire who lives in their basement

[1:26:02] and they have to keep him a secret.

[1:26:04] And they've been successfully able to do this for 200 years

[1:26:07] since the family came to the United States.

[1:26:08] But now, for some reason, they're unable to do it.

[1:26:12] Wait, is was that a rhetorical question?

[1:26:14] I wonder if that's a good idea.

[1:26:15] I was all right. Yeah, go right.

[1:26:17] Because I don't know I've ever seen a Midwestern vampire movie,

[1:26:20] except maybe like Martin, which is set.

[1:26:22] Yeah. And I guess it's something like Pennsylvania.

[1:26:24] It's not really the Midwest, but it feels Midwestern.

[1:26:27] And a near dark is more Western, right?

[1:26:30] Yeah. Yeah. I would call it a Western vampire movie.

[1:26:33] So write in if anyone has an idea.

[1:26:34] Everyone knows of a Midwestern vampire movie like a vampire in Brooklyn.

[1:26:38] That's clearly not the Midwest.

[1:26:39] Yeah, it says on the 10.

[1:26:42] Why is that movie coming to 10?

[1:26:43] That's what I want to know.

[1:26:44] Because it's a limited edition collector's one.

[1:26:47] OK, I found out when they finished the movie, they put it in the can

[1:26:50] and they said, close this up, never open it.

[1:26:52] Bury it in the desert.

[1:26:53] A hundred feet underground.

[1:26:54] Put it next to those E.T. cartridges.

[1:26:58] This one looks interesting.

[1:26:59] A furry's response to Pottersville.

[1:27:01] Oh, that is interesting.

[1:27:03] This is from Steven last night withheld Colbert.

[1:27:07] Greetings, floppers.

[1:27:07] Medium time listener. First time writer.

[1:27:09] Like it says in the subject line, I'm a longtime member of the furry fandom.

[1:27:13] And I wanted to say a little something about our representation

[1:27:15] in recent topic movie Pottersville in many ways,

[1:27:18] especially relative to previous appearances

[1:27:20] and other parts of pop culture of the years.

[1:27:22] It wasn't that bad.

[1:27:23] And multiple parts is portrayed as a weird yet pleasant little hobby

[1:27:27] that people join, not for any discernible reason, but because it makes

[1:27:30] it just makes sense.

[1:27:31] And whenever someone wanders into a group of furs, they can't help

[1:27:34] but enjoy themselves.

[1:27:36] Though one thing did get me thinking watching the movie.

[1:27:39] I saw, as with any time furries appear in media, that it was outrageously obvious

[1:27:43] to figure out which fursuits were put together by the costume department

[1:27:46] and which belonged to the actual furries who answered the background

[1:27:49] extras, extras, casting call.

[1:27:51] That's a very funny point.

[1:27:52] Real fursuits, among other things, generally have smaller heads,

[1:27:56] bodies that fit properly.

[1:27:57] And there's a general sense that it was made for a specific individual

[1:28:00] and not someone thinking that he's imitating the sports mascot aesthetic.

[1:28:05] So that leads to my question.

[1:28:06] Are there any niche hobbies you're involved in or know a lot about?

[1:28:09] Whenever it shows up in a movie or TV show,

[1:28:10] you can instantly tell if a person behind the scenes did their homework.

[1:28:14] What little things might jump out?

[1:28:16] Is it something more subtle than a character, assuming that all video games

[1:28:19] are played by tightly clutching the controller close to the chest

[1:28:22] while waving it around?

[1:28:23] Yeah, it's the James Gandolfini from like the first episode of The Sopranos

[1:28:27] where he just holds the controller with one hand to play Mario Kart.

[1:28:30] I'm like, that's impossible.

[1:28:32] No man is that good.

[1:28:33] He has huge hands.

[1:28:35] Bonus round.

[1:28:36] Since we furries love everyone, you three are welcome to join us,

[1:28:39] which means you'll each need a fursona.

[1:28:41] And while nobody can ultimately decide on the species except for you,

[1:28:44] allow me to offer a few suggestions.

[1:28:46] Yeah, you're welcome.

[1:28:47] For Dan, the sloth comes to mind

[1:28:50] as it matches both his desire to conserve energy at all times

[1:28:53] and his willingness to fall asleep in any occasion.

[1:28:56] For Elliot, the fennec fox is a clear choice.

[1:28:58] Oh, I would love that.

[1:28:59] Since those little guys will always make their voice heard above the crowd

[1:29:02] over and over and over again.

[1:29:04] I love fennec foxes.

[1:29:05] That's a good choice.

[1:29:06] Finally, for Stuart, since he's such a cool dashing rogue

[1:29:09] at home in the pack or lurking in the shadows of the night,

[1:29:12] there can only be one option.

[1:29:13] The coolest and best animal ever to walk the earth, the raccoon.

[1:29:18] Oh, wow.

[1:29:19] He's a rascal.

[1:29:20] Thanks for all the smiles.

[1:29:21] Keep up the great laughs.

[1:29:22] Even last name without what a great letter.

[1:29:24] With terrifying little hands.

[1:29:27] It makes me it makes me kind of happy to hear that

[1:29:29] Pottersville was not as bad a depiction of it as I thought,

[1:29:32] at least from his point of view, that like because usually I think

[1:29:36] when it's represented in media, it is represented as like a thing

[1:29:39] that crazy people do that's really like, yeah, it's like the butt of the joke.

[1:29:43] But it is a good point that I hadn't thought about that.

[1:29:44] It's like, oh, yeah, if you really want to become this fursona,

[1:29:47] you don't be you're not like a goofy mascot.

[1:29:50] Yeah, like Bucky the Badger is not a is not a fursona, you know.

[1:29:53] But yeah, I could see being a Fennec Fox, those big ears.

[1:29:57] Yeah, I'm trying to think of like.

[1:30:00] My hobbies are for the first question like I'm like I I draw I bake I mean like dating profile

[1:30:06] tan like you can think that in your head and then say out loud the one that applies to the well no

[1:30:10] I'm just saying that like drawing and baking are like not things that I've seen represented where

[1:30:14] I'm like that's all wrong oh I guess uh you've seen like working in television like is often

[1:30:19] portrayed incredibly yeah that's not a hobby I like this is not really a hobby either but like

[1:30:24] I've noticed I like to sing karaoke a lot and I've noticed that depicted in movies or is it's

[1:30:30] always like weird depicted in movies like it's it's like often at a bar that's not being dedicated to

[1:30:35] karaoke and like there's just like people singing like off in a corner of the room while no one else

[1:30:41] is paying attention to them and that's not the way karaoke bars work yeah you're used to getting up

[1:30:47] there grabbing the mic and then all eyes are on you yeah I'm the star yeah I'm a big bright

[1:30:53] shining star uh yeah I mean I'm I'm a bit of a tabletop gamer uh and yeah it's pretty obvious

[1:31:01] when uh it's pretty obvious when that stuff doesn't match up um whether it's just the way

[1:31:05] people talk about Dungeons and Dragons or uh the way they hold their toy soldiers when they're

[1:31:11] pushing them around the table that you don't actually see them I think the thing that gets

[1:31:16] to me a lot of times it less than it used to as it's become more of a mainstream thing but still

[1:31:21] somewhat is the way comic book fans are presented in movies and television or used to be where it

[1:31:27] was like they just wouldn't do the bother to do the research about the details of it or something

[1:31:33] that actually that's why I love Big Bang Theory so much oh god in heaven don't even don't even

[1:31:37] bring me to that dark place but like I've mentioned this at the Madison show last night where in 40

[1:31:42] year old virgin Steve Carell supposed to be like this big nerd collector and he has framed conflicts

[1:31:46] on his wall and the comics are clearly like new comics from the past a year or two when the movie

[1:31:51] was made and it's like why did he frame that it makes no sense like at least have your have the

[1:31:55] set decorator look up like an old comic book and print out a copy of the cover maybe it's a

[1:31:59] rotating thing where he puts a different his favorite comic of each year in the uh in the

[1:32:03] frame or like his his book of the of the week yeah I go to my store on Wednesdays I pick up

[1:32:08] my new books read them all that day and then I announce the best and frame it on my wall as my

[1:32:12] book of the week there's all there's also the moment in that movie when uh uh Catherine Keener

[1:32:18] finds that huge box of porn tapes in his house and she's like you must be a psychopath and it's

[1:32:22] like this is not the craziest thing for a guy to have I mean it's a big box of tapes but like

[1:32:27] if every guy who had yeah I mean if he was like a normal guy and kept it all in a trash bag

[1:32:32] you if he was a normal guy kept in a trash bag in a hole in his backyard yeah

[1:32:38] I found and also like that was originally the plot of frailty story

[1:32:43] Bill Paxton uh I'm also a serial killer and a lot of the details of that is often get

[1:32:47] gotten wrong in movies but Dan you were saying what goes on next uh yeah the only other part of

[1:32:52] that question was the fur personas but I think he nailed it so well that I can't fight that

[1:32:56] yeah uh what happens next is we give a few recommendations of movies you should watch

[1:33:01] movies we like instead of live itself yes probably yeah um I'll go first uh because

[1:33:09] this is a live show I of course was on a plane oh cool so what did I watch

[1:33:15] I watched Hotel Artemis and uh before I get into this movie just just just take a listen to this

[1:33:22] cast just I mean this is not the full cast but a few names Jodie Foster, Dave Bautista,

[1:33:28] Sterling K. Brown, Jeff Goldblum, Brian Tyree Henry, Ginny Slate, Zachary Quinto, Charlie Day

[1:33:38] yep I mean come on man you're right any movie with a great cast has to be great just look at

[1:33:42] the original Casino Royale it's got David Niven, Orson Welles, Peter Sellers, Woody Allen it's

[1:33:47] nothing but great stuff all right I'm just saying an interesting cast like a lot of fun character

[1:33:53] actors there um so Hotel Artemis it's about a hotel for a for dogs oh I'm so excited is that

[1:34:02] a hotel for gods no it's about a hotel that's actually a secret hospital for criminals where

[1:34:09] they go to get patched up by Jodie Foster cool uh she's like a night nurse but for bad guys instead

[1:34:14] of super night nurse slash surgeon like she really like does everything there's real surgery in the

[1:34:18] comics um so oh my god I didn't know you're talking about oh no it's a character called

[1:34:21] night nurse who's in who patches up superheroes in the marvel universe and Jodie Foster is giving

[1:34:26] a performance like a performance that I honestly can't tell whether is good or terrible because

[1:34:30] she's putting on this like tough old broad voice the whole time and she's clearly having a ball

[1:34:35] doing it though and uh it's basically like it feels like if the hotel from john wick got crossed

[1:34:42] with a little bit of assault on precinct 13 because it's like a criminal comes in and like that like

[1:34:49] other criminals are trying to like get in to like attack people but it's a it's a neutral zone right

[1:34:54] yeah it's supposed to be a neutral zone and Jodie Foster uh also brings a police officer in to patch

[1:35:01] her up played by Ginny Slate at one point and that that seems like it breaks the rules yeah

[1:35:06] honestly that that thread kind of goes nowhere okay but uh it's a fun little movie like it

[1:35:11] it's it's a lot better at setting things off than the setting things up and paying them off

[1:35:17] in a satisfying way but it's got a bit of that kind of John Carpenter like semi-low budget uh

[1:35:25] fun little tight uh science fictiony vibe so it was fun cool uh i'm gonna recommend a movie called

[1:35:32] standoff at sparrow creek uh it's a recent release it's a tiny little uh thriller kind of cut from

[1:35:40] the reservoir dogs mold uh it's set in the 90s in michigan and it's a group of militiamen who

[1:35:49] here over there michigan militiamen michigan militiamen i said it all without messing it up

[1:35:54] yep they do to die today and they hear over their cb that a uh policeman's funeral had been attacked

[1:36:01] by a man wearing uh body armor and holding a machine gun like he is a or an assault rifle like

[1:36:07] he's um basically just like he's one of them and then they realize that uh one of their assault

[1:36:13] rifles is missing and they start to turn on each other um and it's uh it's it's it's a not

[1:36:21] very violent movie uh it's got some great character work and it's got a ton of uh veteran

[1:36:26] character actors like uh chris monkey who was in gaudy so yeah if that sounds cool check it out

[1:36:34] uh i'd like to recommend a movie from a couple years ago that's called komiko the treasure hunter

[1:36:39] uh and it is a movie loosely based on an urban legend about a thing that people thought happened

[1:36:44] but didn't quite happen the way they thought but anyway it's about a woman a japanese woman who

[1:36:48] does not really fit into normal life and is having trouble understanding her purpose but

[1:36:54] sees herself as a finder of treasures and she has become convinced that the money from the

[1:36:59] movie fargo was a real thing that that movie was based on a true story and that she has the clues

[1:37:04] she needs to find that money and goes on this kind of last-ditch desperate trip to america

[1:37:10] without any resources really and without knowing much english without knowing what she's doing

[1:37:14] to find this money as a way of kind of bringing meaning to her life and it's a it's it's a very

[1:37:22] strange movie but it like in that it gets it really across the feeling of i thought being

[1:37:27] kind of isolated from the world around you and you know the whole time that money does not exist

[1:37:33] and characters tell her that's not a real thing that was just a movie but she is so dedicated to

[1:37:38] this unachievable very ridiculous goal that there's something that becomes something kind of

[1:37:44] noble about that pursuit even though of course it's doomed to fail uh and it's a i really liked

[1:37:49] a lot it's a movie that like in the description it where it kind of sounds like it might be trying

[1:37:54] the description makes it sound like it's almost trying to be a coen brothers movie but it is not

[1:37:58] trying to be a coen brothers movie and it's it's really its own thing so kamiko the treasure hunter

[1:38:02] cool three movies recommended now what dan uh now's the time when we sadly have to say goodbye

[1:38:09] and i say extra sadly because it's always nice to see your faces in the same room i mean i see

[1:38:14] stewart's beautiful face all the time but the most beautiful face hemsworth limo oh my face

[1:38:19] is beautiful now huh guys okay i don't know why that was making you defensive but oh now i'm being

[1:38:26] defensive a little canadian at the end i'm a defensive hockey player i guess character that

[1:38:33] i'm working on this next character is named uh is named roger the defensive hockey player

[1:38:42] hey hey oh hey oh so i want you want me to hit the puck i guess

[1:38:48] um yeah yeah great to see you guys it's always wonderful to be in the same space

[1:38:53] and just exploring it exploring the space together exploring each other

[1:38:58] going to this hotel room exploring the weird pillow that they always put on the bed that's

[1:39:03] mostly decorative why do they do that it's like every time i get on the bed i have to push that

[1:39:07] pillow out of the way it's like this is not helping anybody i don't even like the way it

[1:39:10] looks hotels okay this is a hot take before we go one of my classic pad did hotel hot takes hotels

[1:39:16] enough with the big round decorative pillows that nobody uses and back to you now it's time

[1:39:21] for dan to deliver his patented hotel hot cakes oh delicious oh yummy okay now someone's gonna

[1:39:28] write it and be like i use that i use that pillow for my back pain and it's necessary for me and

[1:39:32] i'll be like i'm sorry uh yeah so everyone go to maximumfund.org check out other great podcasts

[1:39:39] on our network thank you network for having us yeah and if you liked this episode please uh

[1:39:45] go to itunes or wherever you listen to your podcasts and leave us a review a five-star

[1:39:49] review a thumbs up review some kind of positive review we have so much negative reviews in our

[1:39:53] lives from our family members from our friends from really uh employers we need some positivity

[1:39:58] and also

[1:40:00] tell people about the show if you like it. One of the nice things about doing

[1:40:03] the show last night in Madison is people come up afterwards and they're like oh

[1:40:06] my friend got me into the show or like I came with his friend of mine and I got

[1:40:09] him listening to the show and it's just really cool that people have been

[1:40:11] spreading it by word-of-mouth so thank you mm-hmm

[1:40:13] and I guess that's it. Oh wow and in big for the Flop House I've

[1:40:20] been Stuart Wellington. I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Elliot Kalin saying life

[1:40:25] itself keep that on life on the shelf so should we start doing the goodbyes

[1:40:39] again or? No, that's it. See ya.

[1:40:49] On their phones and in three, oi oi oi, two. Sorry my mom texted me dude. I'll tell her to shut up.

[1:41:01] What? Suddenly we're from the Walnut Council? Yeah. I'm Dan McCoy from Walnuts saying cram it with

[1:41:08] walnuts. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned. Listener supported.

Ep. #276 - Life Itself

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