Ep.#277 - Catwoman

Stuart Wellington

[0:00] Please welcome to the stage, Daniel McCoy and Stuart Wellington.

[0:23] Hey guys!

Dan McCoy

[0:26] Hello!

[0:28] Thanks for coming.

Stuart Wellington

[0:31] Yeah, thanks for coming out, guys.

Dan McCoy

[0:34] How many of you actually listened to the show?

[0:38] Good.

[0:39] Not bad.

[0:40] And how many of you just, like, wandered in from DragCon?

[0:43] Like, alright.

[0:45] So, it's about an even split.

[0:46] That's alright.

Stuart Wellington

[0:47] Yeah, that's pretty good.

[0:47] That's better than our shows normally are.

Dan McCoy

[0:50] The show's a little different than we normally have.

[0:52] Our co-host Elliot Kalin, usually the motor mouth star of the show.

[0:59] He recently moved to LA and it was too fast for him to come back.

[1:04] It was like a month ago.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06] Too fast and too furious.

[1:08] Yeah.

[1:09] Okay, I'm done.

[1:09] See you guys later.

Dan McCoy

[1:11] So, he was like, screw you guys.

[1:13] Do it on your own.

[1:15] And instead, we got Ronnie Chang from The Daily Show, one of the correspondents.

[1:19] And he will be coming out in just a second.

[1:22] But I just wanted to clarify in case Elliot fans were in the audience.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29] When you said Elliot wasn't here, people start coming in.

[1:32] Wow.

[1:33] They're so excited.

[1:34] They don't want their ears to bleed.

[1:37] Okay, now that I've gotten done burning Elliot, thanks for coming out.

[1:41] We will talk about our show.

[1:43] Thanks.

[1:43] I don't know what else to say, Dan.

[1:44] You had a bunch of plans for vamping.

[1:47] No, no.

Dan McCoy

[1:47] I just, this is what passes for warming up the crowd with us.

[1:52] So, good luck to us, I suppose.

[1:57] Yeah, we should just bring Ronnie out now.

[1:58] I just wanted to give a little chat.

[2:01] We did great.

[2:02] Yeah.

[2:03] Come on out.

S3

[2:10] Thank you.

[2:12] Thank you.

[2:12] Thanks for having me, everybody.

[2:14] So nice to be here.

[2:15] Very glad that I made it.

[2:17] I got to say, the people at RuddCon, super unhelpful.

[2:22] Very unhelpful.

[2:23] Asked them for directions to Podcast Fest.

[2:25] They did not care at all about my situation.

[2:28] But they looked pretty great, though, right?

[2:30] They were super good looking models.

Dan McCoy

[2:33] I think it's funny that they put the coolest convention in the basement.

[2:38] Next to the nerdiest convention.

S3

[2:40] They took one look at me and was like, you're not buying a rug.

[2:44] We don't care about, yeah.

[2:46] Because there's a rug convention, too, right?

Stuart Wellington

[2:48] Is that what somebody was saying?

[2:49] Yeah.

[2:49] That's the conceit of the bit.

[2:51] What?

[2:51] The bit.

[2:52] No, I thought there was a rug convention.

S3

[2:54] There's a rug convention?

[2:55] Yeah, that's why I said it's the rug convention people.

[2:58] They're unhelpful.

[2:59] Like that?

[3:01] Yeah, I think so.

Dan McCoy

[3:03] Dan's pointing at the floor.

[3:05] Yeah.

[3:06] All right.

[3:07] Super good looking.

[3:07] Thank you for having me.

[3:08] We should get started with the show.

S3

[3:11] Thanks.

[3:12] Ronnie, do you want a water?

[3:13] Thank you so much.

[3:14] I almost did not make this podcast.

Dan McCoy

[3:16] Yeah, well, let's save it for the show.

[3:17] Oh, you want to save it?

S3

[3:17] Oh, yeah.

[3:18] So I haven't started yet?

[3:18] Oh, okay.

Dan McCoy

[3:19] Well, we're going to do the intro.

[3:21] Yeah, okay.

[3:22] And then we'll do the show.

[3:23] Sure, okay.

[3:24] Just for the purposes of if we release this later on, we have to pretend like this is a professional outfit.

[3:32] Yeah, yeah.

[3:33] So I'm just going to do the intro.

[3:36] On tonight's episode, we discuss Catwoman.

Stuart Wellington

[3:41] Live from the Javits Center.

[3:46] All right.

Dan McCoy

[3:48] Got it in one.

[3:49] That went pretty good, yeah.

[3:50] Got it in one.

[3:52] All right, so let's just start off.

[3:55] Hello, and welcome to the Flophouse.

[3:56] I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[3:58] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[4:00] I'm Ron Chang.

[4:01] Yeah.

[4:02] Yeah, we should have gone over that.

Dan McCoy

[4:05] I figured he's a smart guy.

[4:07] He can pick up what's going on.

S3

[4:08] I figured the body language when you pointed to me.

Stuart Wellington

[4:12] That's right.

[4:12] We have a guest host in place of L.A. Kalen.

[4:14] It is The Daily Show's Ronnie Chang.

S3

[4:17] Yeah.

[4:17] Thanks for having me.

[4:18] I've heard a lot about this podcast.

[4:21] Everywhere I go to around the world, actually, people tell me about this podcast.

[4:25] Okay.

[4:26] In Singapore, I'm being interviewed while I'm doing a movie.

[4:30] You know, just not bragging.

[4:32] While I'm doing a movie, press comes, and all the press wants to talk about is how I'm on the same show as Dan McCoy from Flophouse.

[4:39] That's not true.

[4:40] That is true.

[4:40] She goes, wait, but Dan McCoy on the Flophouse, right?

[4:43] I can't believe you know this.

[4:45] Because I used to live in Australia, and I used to live in Singapore, and when I go back to Australia to do shows, even in Australia, they talk about the Flophouse.

[4:53] So you guys got to-

Dan McCoy

[4:54] Even in Australia.

S3

[4:56] So you guys got to do a show.

[4:57] Shout out Australia and Singapore.

[4:59] Even those descendants of criminals.

[5:01] Okay.

[5:02] I was going to say go there and do a show, but not anymore.

[5:04] You can't.

[5:04] You just killed your Australian market with that.

[5:07] But yeah, man, everywhere, globally, they tell me, oh, you work with Dan McCoy from the Flophouse.

[5:13] I'm like, yes, I do.

[5:14] I'm also very famous as well, if you want to talk to me.

Stuart Wellington

[5:18] Usually when people say you work with Dan McCoy from the Flophouse, they say it almost like a threat.

[5:24] Like I'm not leaving this escape room alive.

Dan McCoy

[5:28] No, we should.

[5:29] I think it's fun to just mention that.

[5:32] So, Ronnie, you almost didn't make it here today.

S3

[5:36] I made it one minute before you called my name on stage.

[5:40] Yeah.

[5:40] When I came, I got here.

[5:42] I was doing a show in Arkansas, University of Arkansas yesterday.

[5:46] Great show.

[5:47] Great people.

[5:48] It went well.

[5:48] It did.

[5:49] It was good.

[5:49] No, it's great.

[5:49] Yeah, I had very low expectations, but it went very well.

[5:52] And then the students.

[5:53] Of the state or?

[5:54] No, it was a college gig.

[5:56] And usually you have low expectations for stand-up at colleges because I always feel like they're going to be jaded teenagers who are too cool for school and smartasses.

[6:05] But they weren't.

[6:06] They were super cool people.

[6:07] They were super friendly and really nice.

[6:09] And the gig went well.

[6:11] I actually enjoy traveling around America because I've only been in America for two years.

[6:15] And so I'm not jaded.

[6:16] So I like to see different places.

[6:18] And I read Bill Clinton's biography twice.

[6:22] I'm a big fan of Arkansas.

Stuart Wellington

[6:24] Are you going to be taking sign-ups for the admissions at the University of Arkansas after the show?

S3

[6:29] Shout out to you, Arkansas.

[6:30] You guys were great.

[6:31] Thanks for having me.

[6:32] And then I came back.

[6:33] I got a 6 a.m. flight just to make this podcast.

[6:37] I know.

[6:38] I know.

[6:38] But then the flight, the first flight, they had an intercom problem.

[6:43] Like one of those things that was like the tiniest problem that caused the biggest issue.

[6:47] So one hour, that flight got delayed by one hour.

[6:50] Then on my Delta app, it pops up like, hey, do you want to rebook, reroute your flight through Washington, D.C.

[6:55] And I'm like, yeah, okay, I'll rebook.

[6:58] So I rebooked it.

[6:58] Thank you so much.

[6:59] Yeah.

[7:00] No, but then after that, no, the story's not over yet.

[7:02] Oh, okay.

[7:02] And then I rebooked.

Stuart Wellington

[7:04] But you're saying that this podcast almost was destroyed by audio issues?

[7:09] Yeah.

S3

[7:10] Yeah, on plane.

[7:11] And then I rebooked it on the app because I thought technology is helpful.

[7:17] And so I rebooked it.

[7:18] And then the flight turned out to leave.

[7:21] Like, you know, I made my connection, but I couldn't get on it because I rebooked.

[7:27] Oh, no.

[7:27] And then I had to wait until 1230 for the next one.

[7:30] Then I got on that flight.

[7:31] And then someone on that flight had a heart attack.

[7:34] And then we were delayed.

[7:35] Yeah, we were delayed.

[7:36] Well, he had to go out.

[7:37] I was like, it's so fucking inconsiderate for these people.

[7:40] Have heart attacks on planes.

[7:41] And then that's why I was so late for this.

[7:44] And then I made it here just when you said Ronnie Chang and I walked in.

[7:46] I was like, yes.

Dan McCoy

[7:47] Ronnie, did you run over an elderly woman who could have been a witch?

S3

[7:50] Is that possible?

[7:51] And I was looking at my phone, so I'm not sure.

[7:55] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[7:57] Maybe that happened.

[7:58] Thank God you're here.

[7:59] So this is a true tales of travel podcast.

S3

[8:04] Yeah.

[8:04] I know that's incredibly boring, but it was a very exhilarating morning for me.

[8:08] No, no.

[8:08] You have no idea.

[8:09] And I've been looking forward to doing this podcast, so I didn't want to miss it.

Dan McCoy

[8:12] You needed a little time to decompress.

[8:13] You needed a vent to the audience.

[8:15] Oh, yeah, I did.

S3

[8:16] I know.

[8:16] It's one of those.

[8:17] I know I sound like the crazy puns right now, but I had a very crazy morning.

Dan McCoy

[8:21] But this is not a travel podcast, despite what Stuart just said.

[8:26] The trickster god, Stuart.

[8:28] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[8:32] And Ronnie chose our movie.

[8:35] Yes.

[8:35] This time.

[8:36] Yes.

[8:37] And it's Catwoman 2004.

[8:40] Starring Halle Berry.

[8:42] Yeah.

[8:43] Now, why did you choose this movie, Ronnie?

S3

[8:46] Because it's popped up on a bad movie list for a long time, but I've never gone around to watching it.

[8:52] Oh, okay.

[8:52] And so I figured this would have motivated me to.

Dan McCoy

[8:55] The way you say you've never gotten around to watching it.

S3

[8:58] And also, I feel like with the current tone of Marvel movies, it's important to reflect on superhero movies in times past.

[9:11] And the lessons we learned from them.

Stuart Wellington

[9:14] And you want to see how to build a cinematic universe.

Dan McCoy

[9:18] Around, yeah, Catwoman.

[9:20] So, yeah.

[9:21] We should go over what actually happened in this movie.

[9:23] I'm pulling out my notes here.

S3

[9:26] I actually have an iPad with it on if you guys want.

[9:29] We just show it to the audience.

[9:31] Right.

[9:33] Interesting movie as well that way it came out.

[9:36] I mean, there was lots of hype around it, I think.

[9:39] It starred an Oscar winner, right?

[9:42] Yeah.

[9:43] Well, Sharon Stone as well.

[9:45] All-star cast.

[9:46] Yeah, no.

[9:46] So, it had a lot of hype.

[9:48] And a number of cats are in the movie.

Dan McCoy

[9:50] Yeah.

[9:50] Yeah, famous cats.

[9:52] Francis Conroy coming hot off the heels of Six Feet Under.

[9:56] A TV show.

Stuart Wellington

[9:58] No, that's right.

[9:59] It's the new movies.

S3

[10:02] Oh, three Asian people in the movie I counted all the time.

[10:06] So, shout out Asians in film.

[10:08] Yeah.

[10:08] There was the henchman.

[10:14] Second henchman.

[10:16] And then there was the forensic scientist, Benita Ha.

[10:21] And then there was Burglar.

[10:24] Burglar, yeah.

[10:25] Burglar number two.

[10:26] So, they're really making inroads is what you're saying.

[10:28] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[10:29] It was a real watershed moment for Asians in cinema.

Stuart Wellington

[10:32] So, the movie opens.

[10:34] Yeah, the movie opens.

[10:35] That's accurate.

[10:35] And we are introduced to Patience.

S3

[10:38] What's her name?

[10:38] Oh, wait.

[10:38] No, before that, we have-

[10:39] Before the opening of the movie.

[10:41] Before the opening, we have the freaking Illuminati of cats.

[10:45] Oh, sure.

[10:46] They show us how cats have been shaping world events.

[10:50] Throughout history, yeah.

[10:51] Through their hidden agenda throughout history, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[10:55] Cats have been creating chemtrails for a long time.

S3

[10:59] I mean, yeah.

[11:00] Do you remember that?

[11:01] The opening sequence was like a montage of cats in history influencing global events.

[11:05] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[11:07] Makes a lot of sense, man.

[11:08] If you think about it.

[11:10] Oh, my God.

[11:11] But, yeah.

[11:11] Patience Phillips is the name.

[11:13] Patience Phillips.

[11:14] So, this is the first indication that this is not going to be a traditional Catwoman movie

[11:18] since Selina Kyle-

[11:20] Oh, okay.

[11:21] Is the actual Catwoman.

[11:23] Okay, stop staring at me, Dan.

[11:24] It's cool.

[11:25] All right.

[11:26] Selina Kyle.

[11:27] Okay, I get it.

[11:30] So, she works for a cosmetics company.

Stuart Wellington

[11:32] Of course she does.

[11:34] That is about to-

[11:35] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[11:37] Is about to do a new skin cream called Bowline.

Stuart Wellington

[11:41] I think it's B-O-Lean is how they pronounce it.

[11:43] B-O-Lean?

[11:44] Correct.

[11:44] Did you just read the novelization?

Dan McCoy

[11:47] I didn't have time, so I decided to do the thing that would take more time to do.

[11:52] Yeah.

[11:53] I read the CliffsNotes of the novelization written by Alan Dean Foster.

[11:59] Anyway, a lot of Alan Dean Foster fans in the audience today.

[12:05] All right.

[12:07] Bowline?

Stuart Wellington

[12:08] B-O-Lean is the name of the product.

[12:10] Yep.

[12:10] We're introduced to it because Alex Borstein, the best friend, who's quirky, got a hold of

[12:15] an early advance copy of the cream and she's been smearing it on her face.

[12:19] She talks about how great it is, but then she immediately says, but I've been having these weird headaches.

[12:26] Surely that doesn't foreshadow anything.

[12:28] No, no, no.

[12:28] That's completely unrelated.

Dan McCoy

[12:31] She drank too much.

[12:32] So, it's supposed to reverse the effects of aging, this cream.

[12:36] Oh.

[12:39] But, Patience has a delivery to make late at night in the research and development department.

Stuart Wellington

[12:46] Oh, man.

[12:46] You're going way too fast.

[12:47] All right.

[12:47] We have to touch on the fact that we have a meet-cute with hunky Benjamin Bratt, where

[12:52] she is chasing a cat outside of a building, almost falls to her death, but luckily Benjamin

[12:58] Bratt breaks.

[12:59] Oh, man.

[12:59] I can't say that many Bs.

[13:01] Benjamin Bratt breaks.

[13:02] Benjamin Bratt breaks.

[13:03] Benjamin Bratt breaks into her apartment and saves her at the last second.

[13:07] And it's really great.

[13:08] That's all I have to say.

[13:10] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[13:10] And this shows the bond, the burgeoning bond, Benjamin Bratt.

[13:16] Between.

[13:16] No.

[13:17] The burgeoning bond that Patience has with cats, that she is so willing to go out and save

[13:25] a cat by dangling from a building.

S3

[13:27] Oh, she stands on top of an AC unit.

[13:29] Yeah, that's crazy.

[13:30] Which is, that's, you know, I don't know.

[13:34] That's as dangerous as you can get in New York City, to stand on that AC unit.

Dan McCoy

[13:38] Ronnie Chang's, like, the more you know.

[13:40] Yeah.

[13:41] Never stand on an AC unit.

[13:42] Even I know that.

[13:43] I'm not even from America.

S3

[13:45] I'm like, you know, I've never seen an AC unit in my life.

[13:47] I'm like, yeah, don't stand on that.

[13:49] That's not going to support your weight.

Stuart Wellington

[13:51] I know you've got to find that cat, but why don't you have a little more patience?

[13:55] Hey, that's her character's name.

S3

[13:57] And, oh, by the way, Benjamin Bratz, if his character's name's easier to say, it's Tom Lone,

Stuart Wellington

[14:02] I think.

[14:03] Tom Lone.

[14:05] A normal name.

[14:06] Yeah.

[14:08] So, yeah, so she's chasing this cat.

[14:11] This is a cat that she saw.

S3

[14:12] Which mysteriously appears and keeps, like, teleporting.

Stuart Wellington

[14:16] She sees it briefly when her neighbors keep her up late at night by blasting Hoobastank.

S3

[14:23] Yes, I'm glad.

[14:24] Did you watch it with the subtitles?

[14:25] I watched it with the subtitles, everyone.

[14:27] Yeah, I did too.

Stuart Wellington

[14:29] I'm sure they're contractually obligated to mention that it's Hoobastank.

[14:32] Like, Hoobastank had that in their rider, I guess.

[14:35] Is that what they?

S3

[14:36] Yeah.

[14:36] And then this cat keeps teleporting like Nightcrawler.

[14:39] All over the place.

[14:40] One minute's outside on a motorcycle.

[14:42] One minute's in the house.

[14:43] One minute's attempting you to commit suicide.

[14:46] It's not a normal kitty cat, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[14:47] And then flash forward to the mysterious late night delivery you were talking about before I interrupted you.

Dan McCoy

[14:54] Sorry.

[14:55] Yeah.

[14:55] She was going to deliver something, and she goes down into the research and development lab

[15:00] and overhears that this new beauty product has horrible side effects.

[15:07] No.

[15:07] It scars people's faces.

[15:09] But that's the opposite of what it should be doing.

[15:12] Yeah.

[15:12] And Sharon Stone's like, I don't care.

[15:14] If you keep using the cosmetic cream, it doesn't do any of this to you.

[15:19] So let's just ship it out.

[15:20] Yeah.

[15:21] Which seems ridiculous.

[15:22] I mean, no matter how evil Sharon Stone is supposed to be as this cosmetics magnate,

[15:28] you would think that you'd be like, okay, we're going to get sued.

[15:32] You know?

Stuart Wellington

[15:33] Like, we can't just...

[15:34] Yeah.

[15:35] She's like driven by money, right?

[15:38] That's the idea behind this is that...

Dan McCoy

[15:40] Well, she's also driven by, like, not wanting to age.

[15:43] Sharon Stone, like, her...

[15:45] She used to be the face of this cosmetics company, and she's been replaced by younger people

[15:49] because the world is cruel to women.

Stuart Wellington

[15:52] Oh, that's what they're trying to say with that.

[15:54] Okay.

[15:55] Um, yeah.

S3

[15:57] I said that as if it's a joke, but it's just a true thing.

[16:00] Yeah.

[16:01] Her motivations are very unclear now that you mentioned it.

[16:04] I don't know what she was...

[16:05] Was she trying to make money, or was she trying to...

[16:08] I mean, if she wants to be beautiful, she'd keep it for herself, so I don't know what the fuck she's...

[16:12] That's true.

Stuart Wellington

[16:13] Unless maybe she wants to make sure that she has, like, a steady supply.

[16:18] Of money?

[16:19] No, of Beoline, the magical...

[16:21] Oh.

[16:22] The magic power-giving stuff.

S3

[16:23] Again, now that you mention it, I never thought of that, but yeah, the motivations are very unclear.

[16:28] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[16:28] So, Patience overhears this.

[16:30] She goes running around.

[16:31] A henchman chases her.

Dan McCoy

[16:33] Yeah, they're going to shoot her because of this.

[16:36] Yep.

[16:36] Like, they're just adding murder.

[16:37] Makes sense to me.

[16:38] By the way, she...

S3

[16:39] She's on their property, Dan.

[16:41] This is the top secret facility part of having a conversation in this, like, laboratory.

[16:47] She manages to stroll right in, despite not being able to get in the front door.

[16:51] She couldn't get in the front door.

[16:52] That's why she strolled into the most, like, secure part of the building instead.

[16:56] She has to deliver these.

Stuart Wellington

[16:58] And her boss gave her a deadline of midnight.

[17:01] Midnight.

[17:01] She has to do a physical delivery at midnight.

[17:04] That's crazy.

[17:06] Yeah.

[17:06] This is in 2004.

[17:07] There's email then, right?

[17:09] I don't remember.

[17:09] It's, like, 13 years ago.

[17:11] Yeah.

S3

[17:11] They had Nokia phones.

[17:12] I remember because of the...

[17:13] Nokia phones, right?

[17:14] Yeah.

[17:14] Because of the product placement.

[17:15] Yeah.

[17:16] It's very clear in my head.

Dan McCoy

[17:17] This top secret cosmetics facility.

[17:21] Let's just rest that phrase in your mind for a little bit.

[17:25] She runs down, like, this drainage tube, basically.

[17:30] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[17:30] Yeah.

[17:31] A basement designed by H.R. Giger.

Dan McCoy

[17:34] And they release a bunch of water spewing patients out into the river.

[17:39] Uh-huh.

[17:40] You know, where she drowns.

[17:41] Of course.

[17:42] Yeah, yeah.

[17:42] That makes sense.

[17:43] And then she's brought back to life by cats.

Stuart Wellington

[17:45] Yep.

[17:46] A computer-generated cat climbs on her dead body's chest and breathes life into her body.

[17:51] And it makes perfect sense.

[17:52] Or vomits life into her nostrils.

[17:54] Yes.

[17:54] And this is like...

Dan McCoy

[17:56] You have a cat, Dan.

[17:59] Take this life.

[18:01] I ate it last night.

S3

[18:02] It would be great if it came out in hairball form.

[18:06] Yeah.

[18:06] Oh, that's just a hairball.

[18:07] Sorry.

[18:07] Now this is the life.

Stuart Wellington

[18:09] That's basically the hidden, Dan.

[18:11] The movie The Hidden, where the weird alien worm travels from one person's mouth to another

[18:15] person's mouth.

[18:16] Yeah.

[18:17] Watch The Hidden, guys.

[18:18] It's great.

S3

[18:20] It's an allegory for STDs.

[18:22] Yeah.

[18:22] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[18:23] This is another departure from Catwoman mythos.

[18:27] Like, the only...

[18:27] I mean, this is actually the way that in Batman Returns, she's brought back to life by cats.

[18:33] But I don't think that in the comics this ever happens.

[18:35] Like, in the comics, she doesn't have superpowers.

[18:38] She's just a cat burglar.

[18:39] Like, she's just really good at, like, doing flips and whipping people and stuff.

Stuart Wellington

[18:43] So you're rushing ahead and saying that in addition to being brought back to life, she gains the

[18:47] powers of a cat.

[18:48] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[18:50] And that's actually the one scene that I kind of liked in the movie, where she was, like,

[18:55] walking around her apartment.

[18:57] Like, she suddenly has these cat powers.

[19:00] And she is doing, like, balance beam stuff on the sofa.

[19:06] And I don't know.

Stuart Wellington

[19:07] Like, the fact...

[19:08] Like, the one scene she's doing balance beam stuff.

[19:10] Like, anytime she walks into a room and there's a table, she's like, I'm jumping on that table.

[19:15] Yeah.

S3

[19:15] By the way, anytime you see her walk in this movie as Catwoman, suddenly she becomes, like,

[19:19] a Victoria's Secret...

[19:23] Victoria's Secret...

[19:23] What was that?

[19:25] A Victoria's Secret angel?

[19:26] Angel, yeah.

[19:27] She's, like, walking a catwalk, literally, every time she walks.

[19:30] Oh, I get it now.

[19:32] Also...

[19:32] Yeah, also, I mean, for struggling, like, she's supposed to be the loser, right?

[19:37] The quintessential loser.

[19:38] Yeah.

[19:39] Her apartment is huge.

[19:40] Her apartment has a studio in it.

[19:42] She does have a great apartment.

[19:43] Oh, her apartment is super big.

[19:44] It has an air conditioner.

[19:45] We talked about that.

Stuart Wellington

[19:47] There's...

[19:48] When she comes back from the dead, she's covered in mud.

[19:51] And she jumps up.

[19:53] Instead of going in through the front door, like a cat, she jumps up a full story.

[19:58] And breaks her own window.

[19:58] Breaks her own window, just like a cat would.

[20:01] And then, flash forward to the next morning where she's sleeping on a shelf.

[20:05] First off, that's a very sturdy shelf.

[20:06] Yes.

[20:07] And she's totally clean.

[20:09] And I'm like, where's the scene of her cleaning herself with her tongue?

[20:14] Wait, is that...

Dan McCoy

[20:15] No, I mean, it's...

[20:16] Yeah, it's kind of gross, but yeah.

[20:18] Okay.

[20:19] Go on, Dan.

[20:20] No, it just sounds like you wanted it to turn into sort of an erotic film.

[20:24] I mean, no.

[20:25] Come on, dude.

Stuart Wellington

[20:26] Like a cat.

[20:27] I don't find cats that erotic.

[20:30] That erotic.

[20:31] Yeah, I left the door open a little.

Dan McCoy

[20:37] Nothing sexier than a good Garfield strip.

Stuart Wellington

[20:42] So, she goes to...

[20:45] She goes to work.

[20:46] She loses her job because, like a cat, she's mean to her boss.

S3

[20:50] But no, she's not even completely mean.

[20:52] She has that weird switching back and forth.

[20:54] She's...

[20:55] She's...

[20:55] At one point, she's like meek.

[20:57] And then she gets aggressive.

[20:59] And then she immediately apologizes for it.

[21:01] It's just...

Stuart Wellington

[21:01] Which is actually kind of like a cat.

[21:04] She...

[21:05] And she also is...

[21:06] She finds that magic cat again and opens up the charm box on its necklace.

[21:12] And that's what they call those things on a cat's neck, right?

[21:14] A necklace.

[21:15] And it's got an intricately folded piece of paper with an address, like you'd expect.

[21:20] She follows that to a crazy library about cat myths owned by Frances Conroy.

[21:26] How am I doing, Dan?

[21:27] Am I covering this?

[21:28] Okay.

[21:29] And then Frances Conroy is kind of weird.

[21:32] And then she throws, what, catnip in Halle Berry's face?

[21:35] And that's the moment when I'm like, aw, I'm so sorry, Halle Berry.

[21:40] You gotta roll this catnip ball on your face for like a minute.

[21:44] Yeah, that's right.

Dan McCoy

[21:46] Yeah, so Halle Berry learned.

Stuart Wellington

[21:48] She won an Academy Award, Dan.

[21:50] I know.

S3

[21:51] Yeah.

[21:52] Then she throws the ball of catnip and she rolls it on her face and starts smelling her hands.

[21:57] Because apparently cat powers come with all the downsides of being a cat.

Stuart Wellington

[22:03] That was the point when I'm like, I don't think this is going to be a serious take on this character.

S3

[22:10] Yeah, she starts shedding all over the place all of a sudden.

[22:12] Yeah.

[22:13] She starts being a dick to the owner.

[22:15] Sure.

Dan McCoy

[22:17] So, I would love, like, there's a deleted scene where she just gets distracted by some string in the middle of the conversation.

S3

[22:24] That's basically what almost was happening.

[22:26] I mean, I don't want to jump ahead here.

Stuart Wellington

[22:28] She's like, well, and she's also like, you're getting too close to the heart of this mythology.

[22:32] I'm going to throw catnip in your face to distract you.

Dan McCoy

[22:35] Yeah.

[22:35] Frances Conroy pushes Halle Berry off of a balcony, basically.

[22:40] And she, like, clans and all.

Stuart Wellington

[22:40] Her balcony has like a swinging door, like a saloon door into nothingness.

S3

[22:47] Yeah.

[22:48] In case she ever wants to jump down.

[22:50] Yeah.

[22:50] And they really hammer home that we get it.

[22:53] She's got cat characteristics.

[22:55] The whole movie, they keep hammering that from the one point she's eating cat food by the tin.

[23:01] Yeah.

[23:01] And she says, I'm just having a little snack.

[23:03] Like, fuck off, dude.

[23:05] Yeah.

[23:06] What a weird way.

[23:07] I can't help but feel that it's tied to this being like a man trying to make a female hero

[23:13] and making her have to have the powers of, like, the actual animal.

[23:16] Yeah.

[23:16] It's like Batman having to swoop down and eat worms at night or something.

[23:21] Well, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[23:21] Batman's like walking around like, I can't see anything.

[23:24] Let me yell at it for a second.

Dan McCoy

[23:27] And we're like, ah, no wall here.

[23:34] Yeah.

[23:35] No, on the note of, I wanted to say this later, but on the note of, no, no, no.

[23:39] You just brought it up.

[23:40] On the note of them making a superhero movie from women, like, what is more insulting than,

[23:46] like, the studio heads being like, all right, we got to make a superhero movie for women.

[23:50] What could the MacGuffin be?

[23:52] What could this all be about?

[23:53] I know, cosmetics.

[23:55] Yep.

[23:56] Like, that's all they care about, right?

[23:58] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[23:58] That's the highest stakes possible.

Dan McCoy

[24:00] Yeah.

[24:00] Let's make the villain this makeup magnate.

Stuart Wellington

[24:05] Yeah.

[24:06] So, she discovers that not only does she have these powers, but she's going to use them

[24:11] to go steal a necklace that she saw.

[24:13] So, she goes running out into the night.

[24:15] No, no, no.

[24:16] Well.

S3

[24:17] She, that part, she, first she beats up the noisy neighbors.

Stuart Wellington

[24:22] She beats up the noisy neighbors.

[24:23] Beats up the noisy neighbors who, for some reason, have a bar in an apartment.

S3

[24:27] A full-fledged bar with the neon light and everything.

[24:31] Right.

[24:31] And then, for some reason, they're bikers as well in this amount.

Stuart Wellington

[24:34] It's just a cool party, dude.

[24:36] Come on.

[24:36] It's a second-floor apartment where they carried kegs all the way up and have been installed,

[24:41] I don't know, like, professional-grade speaker equipment.

Dan McCoy

[24:45] Oh, yeah.

[24:45] Then they have, like, they have a seltzer sprayer in this apartment.

Stuart Wellington

[24:49] I'm pretty sure that was a beer keg, Dan.

[24:51] That wasn't?

[24:51] I don't want to, you know, hurt your virgin ears here.

S3

[24:55] I'm sorry.

[24:56] Then they sprayed it straight into the speakers.

[24:58] Mm-hmm.

[24:59] And then the bikers got angry.

[25:01] And then she beat up the bikers up.

[25:03] And then after she's been complaining about how she can't sleep because of this party,

[25:10] she immediately decides to go out and have a party.

[25:13] As in, she doesn't go home and sleep.

[25:14] After she destroys the party, she goes home and pulls out the leather outfit, which, for some reason...

Stuart Wellington

[25:20] Yep.

[25:21] She does her hair, and she steals her neighbor's motorcycle.

[25:24] And then we get a great scene of her riding around the town in super fast motion,

[25:30] where in some scenes, she's wearing a helmet.

[25:32] In other scenes, no helmet at all.

[25:34] Where'd it go?

[25:35] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[25:36] Yeah, and she goes to a jewelry store where she had seen this beautiful piece of jewelry before.

[25:41] Yeah.

[25:41] And it just happens to be being robbed at the very same time.

[25:45] Yep.

[25:46] So...

[25:46] Makes sense to me.

[25:47] She does the obvious thing, which is she puts on a mask that she finds.

[25:51] Like a domino mask.

[25:53] It's like a jeweled mask, but it's like a catwoman mask.

[25:57] Yep.

[25:58] And she fights crime all of a sudden.

[26:01] Like she fights these thieves off, which is a weird place for her to go.

[26:06] Like after everything that's happened to her.

[26:07] Like I don't feel like the next logical step is like, oh, I'm a catwoman.

[26:11] I'm going through all these changes.

[26:13] I'm going to fight these burglars.

[26:15] Yeah, I'm going through a lot of...

[26:16] Everybody's changing.

[26:19] I just don't know what the...

[26:21] Like there's no logical progression in the screenplay at that point where she goes from like being kind of like freaked out, but into this new power that she has to like, I got to whip these guys.

[26:33] Yeah.

[26:34] Literally.

Stuart Wellington

[26:35] Yeah.

[26:36] That...

[26:37] That...

[26:38] Are you...

[26:38] You are saying there is like a kind of a plot hole in this movie, Dan?

[26:42] Yeah.

[26:43] I am saying that.

[26:44] So that's our exciting sequence of her like running around.

[26:48] And that's...

[26:49] I mean, that's where you see that the director...

[26:51] Like the director has almost exclusively a background in visual effects.

Dan McCoy

[26:55] Yes.

[26:56] And that's...

[26:56] His name is Ptoff.

Stuart Wellington

[26:57] Oh, yeah.

[26:59] It's a one word name.

[27:01] Yeah.

[27:01] So it must be...

Dan McCoy

[27:02] Which is always a good sign for when you're watching a movie.

[27:04] Get to a director with a one word name.

[27:05] He's like Rihanna.

Stuart Wellington

[27:06] Yeah.

[27:07] Or I don't know.

[27:08] Beyonce.

[27:09] Or Madonna.

[27:10] Yeah, Ptoff.

Dan McCoy

[27:11] All those famous directors.

[27:12] Yeah.

S3

[27:15] And anytime...

[27:16] Anytime like there's something cool happening...

[27:19] Well, anytime they're trying to convey coolness in this movie...

[27:22] Okay, good save.

[27:23] You saved yourself.

[27:24] They play like the weirdest music.

[27:27] That...

[27:28] Like...

[27:29] At one point, she's playing one-on-one basketball with Benjamin Brack.

[27:34] I forgot to talk about this.

[27:35] Okay, before the basketball scene.

[27:37] Before the basketball scene.

[27:38] Before that.

[27:39] It's still in the burglary.

[27:40] In the burglary, they're playing like weird 90s...

[27:44] Yeah, it's 2004.

[27:46] I don't know why they're playing 90s music.

[27:49] And it's...

[27:49] The director's French.

[27:50] That's why.

[27:51] Oh, yeah.

[27:52] They had just gotten that music there.

[27:54] And it's never remixed.

[27:55] It always sounds like someone just pressed play on the iPod and then pressed stop.

[27:59] Like when the action stops.

[28:01] And then during the fight scene.

[28:02] So, yes.

Stuart Wellington

[28:03] There's a basketball match.

[28:04] And there's a whole lot of record scratches.

[28:07] So, you know they're doing basketball good.

[28:09] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[28:09] The way that she...

[28:11] Patience flirts with Benjamin Brack is they do a one-on-one basketball matchup.

[28:17] Uh-huh.

[28:18] Because she's a cat in Catholic balls.

S3

[28:18] Let's do this scene justice.

[28:21] First, she goes...

[28:22] Because she stood her up because she died.

[28:25] So, she stood up Benjamin Brack at a date because she accidentally died.

[28:29] And she couldn't make it.

[28:30] So, she didn't make it to the 1 p.m. coffee date.

[28:33] And Benjamin Brack's a bit upset.

[28:34] He's like, yo, I'm here.

[28:35] But I gotta go work.

[28:36] So, you know.

Dan McCoy

[28:37] The next time I flake on something, I'm gonna use that excuse.

[28:40] I'm sorry.

[28:40] I died.

[28:40] I'm sorry.

[28:40] I died last night.

[28:41] Some cats brought me back.

[28:43] Yeah.

[28:43] I don't know what happened.

[28:44] So, yeah.

S3

[28:45] Benjamin Brack is like, yo, I'm waiting here.

[28:47] You're not here.

[28:48] But I gotta go work.

[28:49] So, peace out.

[28:50] And, you know.

[28:51] The only acceptable excuse is if you die.

[28:54] And so, he goes.

[28:55] And then she feels guilty.

[28:56] So, she looks for him at this elementary school, which he's giving a motivational speech to for some reason.

[29:03] Telling kids to be good.

[29:04] And then he goes like, okay, let's go play some basketball.

[29:06] And they all go play basketball.

[29:08] And that's when this awesome scene happens.

[29:11] Please.

Stuart Wellington

[29:12] I mean, it's your traditional basketball flirting with a lot of butt bumping.

[29:18] And at first, you know, they challenge each other to a basketball match.

[29:23] They're both wearing leather jackets.

[29:24] So, you're like, you can't play in that.

[29:28] And, yeah.

[29:29] So, Patience grabs the ball, bounces it a couple times, jumps off the wall.

[29:33] And everyone's like, whoa.

Dan McCoy

[29:35] Does a little parkour basketball.

Stuart Wellington

[29:37] Yep.

[29:38] Fast forward to Patience doing a really good dunk using her cat vision.

[29:41] And then she lands on top of him.

[29:43] And the best line delivery in the movie is when the kid goes up to them and says, can I have my ball back?

S3

[29:51] Are you guys done with your pre-fucking rituals?

[29:56] It's so weird.

[29:57] And you also forgot to mention they play Scandalous during that.

Stuart Wellington

[30:02] Oh.

[30:03] Who is it?

[30:03] Who is that one?

[30:05] But, I mean.

[30:06] So, Scandalous.

[30:09] Many a nightclub.

S3

[30:11] We don't have the rights to that song.

[30:12] Oh, we can't sing it.

[30:13] We can't sing it.

Stuart Wellington

[30:14] But if you hum it, Dan can Shazam it with his phone that he's staring at.

[30:19] Yeah.

[30:19] So, they start flirting.

[30:20] Kids are around.

[30:21] They're, like, bumping asses.

[30:23] She steals a bunch of stuff.

[30:24] She gives it back in a bag that says, sorry.

[30:27] But keeps one thing.

[30:29] She keeps one thing, of course.

[30:30] I mean, she stopped those burglars.

S3

[30:31] That's one thing is worth stopping burglars.

[30:33] It makes sense.

[30:34] Does she keep the ring and she keeps the necklace?

[30:36] Does she keep the necklace?

Stuart Wellington

[30:37] I wasn't paying that close attention to that part.

[30:39] Okay.

S3

[30:40] I think she kept the necklace as well.

[30:42] I can't remember.

[30:43] I think that necklace came from Egypt.

Stuart Wellington

[30:46] Oh.

[30:46] That makes sense.

[30:47] Just like the cat that brought her back alive.

S3

[30:49] Just like the cat mummies and all that.

[30:50] It ties in because it's a well-written story.

[30:54] It loops all the way to the front where we.

[30:56] How's your email doing, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[30:57] So, Patience does.

[31:00] I'm reading my notes.

[31:01] Patience does a bunch of detective work.

[31:03] Uh-huh.

[31:03] And she gets accused of murder because the scientist got murdered.

Stuart Wellington

[31:10] Yeah.

[31:10] So, at this point, she has made herself a Catwoman suit.

[31:15] And as you said, it's a superhero movie made for women, I guess.

[31:19] Right?

[31:20] Yeah.

[31:20] And so, we get a scene where the camera circles around very slowly around Halle Berry's body as she walks.

[31:26] And it's super weird.

[31:28] And then we cut to about five minutes of a computer-generated Halle Berry sliding all over the roofs of Gotham City.

[31:36] Is it Gotham?

[31:37] No.

[31:37] They never mentioned.

Dan McCoy

[31:38] Yeah.

[31:38] I don't even think they go that far.

[31:40] Like, this is weird.

[31:41] It's weird, right?

[31:43] To take a property that everyone knows and then just be like, nope.

[31:48] You know?

[31:48] Yeah.

[31:50] Tell me, Stuart.

[31:50] What was the thinking behind this?

[31:53] You greenlit this film, right?

[31:54] I did.

Stuart Wellington

[31:56] See, I thought it was going to be a fun romp and it would tie in nicely with Batman Begins.

[32:01] All right.

[32:02] Which came out probably around the same time, right?

S3

[32:04] One year later, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[32:05] One year.

[32:05] Really?

[32:06] Wait, it came out one year after?

S3

[32:07] Jesus Christ.

[32:08] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[32:09] Like, the leap forward in Batman Begins didn't have any of that cool music.

S3

[32:14] There was the one link to Batman and DC Universe at all was when the Catwoman, Frances Conway, throws a bunch of pictures of Catwomen.

[32:24] Like, literally throws it in the air.

[32:25] She's like, pick these up.

[32:28] Look at all these Catwomen who's existed throughout history.

[32:31] She throws it and it flutters down after she pushes her off the balcony.

Stuart Wellington

[32:35] So she throws a handful of pictures at her.

[32:37] Yeah.

S3

[32:37] And one of the pictures is of Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman.

[32:41] Oh.

[32:41] Yeah.

[32:43] And it's right there in the middle of the frame.

[32:44] It's like, this is what we were trying to do.

[32:47] So instead.

[32:48] It's called an Easter egg, guys.

[32:50] So I don't know if that means they're in the same universe or in this Catwoman movie, they have Batman Returns in them.

[32:59] I don't know what.

Stuart Wellington

[33:00] Yeah, yeah.

[33:01] That's a screenshot of the movie Batman Returns that exists in this world.

[33:05] In this world, right.

S3

[33:06] And it's not Michael Keane.

[33:08] It's Sylvester Stallone playing Batman.

[33:10] Sylvester Stallone in this universe.

Stuart Wellington

[33:13] Okay.

[33:13] What an interesting choice.

Dan McCoy

[33:16] Yeah, I'm bad, bad.

Stuart Wellington

[33:18] Oh, don't even try it.

[33:20] I can't do it.

[33:21] Elliot's not here.

[33:21] Don't even try it.

Dan McCoy

[33:23] So, yeah.

[33:25] Like, Catwoman was accused of murder.

[33:26] She's locked up for a while.

[33:29] But, so, I lost the thread a little bit here.

Stuart Wellington

[33:34] Okay, so after the scientist is killed, she visits Alex Bornstein in the hospital.

[33:40] And she sees a news story where the head of the company says, even though the head scientist was murdered, we're still going to release this beauty product.

[33:49] Yeah.

[33:50] Which is crazy, dude.

[33:52] How often do you see, like, a news story about a beauty product?

Dan McCoy

[33:57] Yeah.

[33:58] Yeah.

[33:59] Maybe it's taxi TV.

Stuart Wellington

[34:05] So, we're assuming that this guy's the bad guy.

[34:08] Whoops, no.

[34:10] Sharon Stone tricks Catwoman into showing up at her mansion only to find out that her husband, the head of the company, has been killed with a bunch of scratches on him because Sharon Stone killed him to make it look like Catwoman did it.

[34:22] Yeah.

[34:23] She explains her whole plan.

[34:24] She throws a gun to Catwoman who's wearing gloves.

[34:26] And then she starts crying.

[34:28] And then a shitload of cops show up.

[34:29] Like, what the fuck was going on, dude?

[34:31] Did she have them, like, hidden in a closet somewhere?

[34:33] And she's like, uh, my husband's meeting with Catwoman.

[34:38] Yeah.

[34:38] I think they'll be done in a minute and then just come in when I start crying.

Dan McCoy

[34:42] It's like Chris Hansen to catch a Catwoman.

[34:44] Yeah.

S3

[34:45] Hey, sit down.

[34:46] What are you doing there?

[34:47] Hmm?

[34:48] Killing her husband?

[34:49] All right.

[34:50] Let's talk about this.

[34:52] She's like, no, I just followed this ball of string here.

Stuart Wellington

[34:56] Is that some catnip?

[34:57] You got some catnip on me.

S3

[34:58] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[34:58] So, Sharon Stone's like, bake-em-away toys, and they take her away.

Stuart Wellington

[35:04] How long were you working on that bake-em-away toys bit?

Dan McCoy

[35:06] I mean, it's a Simpsons reference.

[35:07] It's not even mine.

[35:08] That's the real tragedy of it.

[35:11] That's the real tragedy of today.

S3

[35:12] Wait, now I'm confused as well because doesn't she try to –

[35:15] she tries to kill her ex-boss first, right, at the opera with the swinging people?

[35:22] And then –

Stuart Wellington

[35:22] She confronts him at an opera.

[35:25] Then the security shows up with guns.

[35:27] But she escapes.

[35:28] She runs across the stage.

[35:29] The opera continues.

[35:30] These performers are no fucking joke, dude.

Dan McCoy

[35:33] No one stops.

Stuart Wellington

[35:34] A cat woman is climbing up the set and running around, and they're like, show's got to go on.

[35:40] So, she gets in like a love fight with Benjamin Bratt in the – what, in the rafters?

[35:46] I don't know what that shit's called behind a stage, Dan.

[35:49] You're the feeder dude.

[35:50] And the – yeah, the raptors.

[35:52] I did it.

[35:53] Yeah, you got it.

[35:55] So, she gets in a fight with Benjamin Bratt in the rafters.

[35:58] She gives him a big old smoocher-rooney on his cheek, and then she escapes after, what, like shorting out the entire theater?

[36:05] And I can only assume those performers kept going.

S3

[36:10] Yeah, she takes a live electrical cable and like puts it to the circuit board, which is exactly the way you want to play with electricity, by the way.

Stuart Wellington

[36:19] And at that point, I'm like, you know, Benjamin Bratt's character was into Patience Phillips, but now him and Catwoman, I think I'm seeing sparks.

[36:28] You're welcome.

Dan McCoy

[36:30] I don't even get that joke.

Stuart Wellington

[36:31] Like, there's like an attraction there.

[36:35] Oh, okay.

Dan McCoy

[36:36] Okay.

[36:38] Get out of here, dude.

[36:39] There was no extra level to it that I missed.

[36:41] No, it's –

S3

[36:42] No, it was as bass as you first thought it was, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[36:46] Now, I got to make a little bit of a confession here, Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[36:49] Okay, guys.

[36:50] Turn the lights down, everybody.

Dan McCoy

[36:54] I hate to do this in front of an audience that is halfway made up of people who have never listened to the show before.

[37:00] Sure, okay.

[37:00] Because I feel like it smacks of total unprofessionalism, what I'm about to admit.

[37:06] Uh-huh.

[37:08] I started dozing off in the second half of this movie.

[37:11] No.

Stuart Wellington

[37:13] No, what happened, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[37:15] I was in and out of consciousness.

[37:17] Get out of here.

[37:18] For real?

[37:19] Oh, you lucked all, man, my friend.

Stuart Wellington

[37:20] You know, you have fallen asleep during, let's say, many of the movies we've watched for our podcast that you do as a professional podcaster.

[37:29] Yeah.

[37:30] Yeah, so did you have – are you just thinking that the rest of the movie was a dream?

Dan McCoy

[37:37] I mean, it has the quality of a fever dream, but I did see – can we skip to the end?

[37:43] I mean, I feel like we're moving –

Stuart Wellington

[37:44] We can easily skip to the end, Dan.

[37:47] We get a showdown between Sharon Stone.

[37:50] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[37:51] Who – it's been revealed that what happens with this cosmetic thing is if you stop using it, you get the big scars.

[37:57] But if you keep using it, your skin becomes super hard like diamonds.

[38:03] Like living marble.

[38:05] Is that what they say?

[38:06] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[38:06] That's what she says while battling.

Dan McCoy

[38:09] So, I guess she's like – I mean, I want to know what her, like, superhero name would be.

[38:15] Like, like, Cream Girl.

[38:19] Like –

[38:21] What?

[38:23] Like this person who got her powers through, like, the use of, like, a beauty cream.

[38:28] Oh, beauty cream.

Stuart Wellington

[38:29] That's why you called her that.

Dan McCoy

[38:32] No, it was not some sort of, like –

[38:34] Just keep going.

[38:35] Just keep going.

[38:37] I don't really have anything else.

Stuart Wellington

[38:40] Okay.

[38:40] So, Cream Girl is your only –

[38:42] That's my best.

[38:43] Professional writer, Dan McCoy.

[38:45] Blue sky in it comes up with Cream Girl.

Dan McCoy

[38:49] I was hoping that we were going to start a big brainstorming sesh.

Stuart Wellington

[38:52] Okay.

[38:52] Like Marble Lady.

[38:54] Marble Lady.

[38:55] And also, when the police first hear of Catwoman, you hear some guys in the background saying,

[39:03] what are we going to call her?

[39:05] Cat Babe?

[39:06] Cat Chick?

[39:07] Nah.

[39:07] Get the fuck out of here, dude.

[39:10] Like, you're reaching it.

[39:10] No, they go –

[39:11] Oh, I thought you were going to say what they actually said.

[39:13] What do they actually say?

[39:14] They go, nah, let's call her Cat Broad.

S3

[39:17] That's what happens in the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[39:18] Give each other high five.

[39:20] Yeah.

[39:20] And then they start a podcast called The Flop Ass.

Dan McCoy

[39:25] Yeah.

[39:25] So, they go on a big fight.

[39:28] Catwoman has one of those things that happens in movies where she's, like, on the ropes.

[39:32] It looks like she's almost certainly going to die.

[39:34] And she just magically, like, through the force of will, she's like, you know what?

[39:39] I'm going to win this fight.

[39:40] Uh-huh.

[39:41] And so she, like, beats the crap out of them.

[39:43] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[39:43] She says some kind of phrase that I think was intended to be really cool.

[39:47] Ronnie, I think you're dying to say it.

[39:49] No, you go ahead.

[39:50] I don't even remember it.

[39:51] Oh.

S3

[39:51] It was Sharon Stone goes, so Sharon Stone has her on the window.

[39:57] She's hanging out of a window about to die.

[39:59] Glassless window.

[40:00] And Sharon Stone's about to deliver the final blow.

[40:02] And she says, game over.

[40:04] Then Halle Berry says, it's over time.

[40:07] And then she comes back and, yeah.

[40:11] Amazing.

Stuart Wellington

[40:12] And then proceeds to beat the fuck out of Sharon Stone.

[40:16] She then beats up Sharon Stone because she's so shocked at what an awesome line that was.

[40:22] Very quick.

[40:23] She then kicks her out a window and she dies.

[40:25] The end of that story.

[40:26] Yeah.

[40:27] Yeah.

[40:28] Yeah.

[40:28] Sure.

[40:29] I mean, and Catwoman.

[40:31] Tries to save her.

S3

[40:32] Does the hero thing.

[40:34] Yeah.

[40:34] Give me your hand.

[40:35] And then Sharon Stone sees her reflection.

[40:38] She's like, I'm old.

[40:39] I got to die.

Dan McCoy

[40:40] Which is an allegory for women in Hollywood.

[40:42] How I feel every morning, guys.

[40:44] And at the end, Benjamin Brad is left alone.

[40:47] Catwoman sends him a message being like, I can't date you anymore.

S3

[40:52] Because I'm a catwoman.

Dan McCoy

[40:54] I only date cats now.

S3

[40:57] If you know any cat men, please introduce me.

[41:00] Otherwise.

Dan McCoy

[41:02] My cat parents are like, can't you date a nice cat man?

[41:07] But he's really good at basketball.

[41:10] And the cat's a doctor?

[41:13] She goes off, I guess, to fight crime.

[41:16] It's ambiguous.

[41:17] It's ambiguous what she's going to do in her new life.

S3

[41:18] No one knows what the fuck she's going to do at this point.

[41:20] Because she's like, sometimes I'm good.

[41:21] Sometimes I'm bad.

[41:22] Deal with it.

[41:24] If you don't love me at my worst.

Dan McCoy

[41:25] I'm a bitch.

[41:26] I'm a mother.

[41:26] Yeah.

[41:27] Yeah.

S3

[41:27] Then you don't deserve me at my best.

[41:30] And then I'm going to go take this whip and swing around whatever city, nameless city

[41:34] I'm in because we don't have the rights to call it Gotham.

[41:37] Yeah.

[41:38] New York is too cliche.

[41:39] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[41:40] And the movie ends with another montage of her, a CGI cat woman just sliding around on rooftops.

[41:46] Yeah.

[41:46] Which is, I guess, what they thought the best part of the movie was.

[41:50] And this movie won the Academy Award that year.

[41:53] Oh, no kidding.

[41:54] Oh, wow.

[41:54] No, this movie famously, Halle Berry won the Razzie for worst actress.

[41:59] Right.

[41:59] And she went and accepted it and then said something about the movie being shitty.

[42:04] But that's pretty cool of her.

[42:05] Yeah.

[42:05] And she goes for it.

[42:07] Yeah.

[42:08] Yeah.

[42:08] She's trying.

[42:09] Also, I wonder what she saw in the script.

[42:13] I think a bunch of money was in the script, Ronnie.

[42:16] Really?

[42:16] The script was rolled up and there was a bunch of money stuffed in there.

[42:20] That's how it works in Hollywood, I hear.

S3

[42:22] Yeah.

[42:23] I guess I don't know what she saw in the – because I think there was problems even during filming.

[42:29] They had to stop and then restart it and film additional scenes because it wasn't working and they tested it.

[42:34] I think they showed the trailer.

[42:36] Everyone hated it so much they recut the trailer without any dialogue just to make it – yeah.

[42:42] And that's not a good sign when you have to cut out all the words to make something –

[42:46] make something barely acceptable.

[42:49] It's like, let's just have no one talk and then maybe if they see enough of an ass swinging around,

[42:53] we'll sell enough tickets so we can make –

[42:55] Oh, and then Village Roadshow.

[42:56] I know this because I have Amazon X-Ray.

[42:59] Village Roadshow had to sell freaking shares in an Australian advertising company just to show a profit for that year.

[43:07] That's how much this movie affected markets.

[43:11] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[43:11] In a bad way.

[43:13] So this is the point in the podcast where we do our final judgments on the movie.

[43:19] All right, Ronnie, this is new to you.

[43:22] Yeah.

[43:22] We decide whether this is a good bad movie, a movie that's fun to watch because it's bad,

[43:26] a bad bad movie, a movie that's just bad, or a movie we kind of liked,

[43:31] a movie that we actually thought had some sort of redeeming quality.

[43:34] Wow, that's a tough one.

[43:35] Do you guys start with me?

[43:35] Let's start with –

Stuart Wellington

[43:36] Which category does it fall into?

[43:40] You spent five minutes thinking that one.

S3

[43:42] That's the end of the podcast?

[43:44] All right.

[43:44] You shut down –

[43:45] Stuart.

[43:45] You shut down the Hear This Festival with that one.

Dan McCoy

[43:48] For the listeners at home, Stuart was so proud of himself.

[43:50] He's now wandering around the stage.

Stuart Wellington

[43:53] Patting himself on the back.

[43:55] Guys, I would like to suggest that this movie isn't a complete pat-tastrophe.

[44:02] Deal with it, guys.

[44:04] I think this movie is a good, bad movie.

[44:07] I think it is super dumb.

[44:10] It's filled with a ton of bad puns.

[44:12] If you are going to sit down with a bunch of friends and you're like,

[44:15] I want to watch a dumb piece of shit and laugh at how bad it is,

[44:18] this is the perfect kind of movie, I think.

Dan McCoy

[44:20] You said that wrong.

[44:21] I believe it was perfect.

Stuart Wellington

[44:23] Thank you, Dan.

[44:25] Yeah.

[44:26] See, I missed it.

[44:27] Yeah.

[44:27] Yo, she says that in the movie.

S3

[44:29] I know.

[44:30] When she's beating up the burglars, she goes, this is perfect.

[44:34] And then she beats the fuck out of them.

Stuart Wellington

[44:38] There's a moment when she's fighting the lead henchman,

[44:41] who, weirdly enough, played the lead henchman,

[44:43] or one of the henchmen in the movie, The Crow,

[44:46] another movie about a poor guy who gets killed

[44:49] and then comes back as a magical animal, right?

[44:51] Yeah.

[44:52] I think that guy's typecast.

[44:53] So she's beating that dude up,

[44:55] and he sticks his, like, she grabs his tongue,

[44:58] and the first thing is like,

[45:00] she's a cat woman, dude.

[45:01] Keep your mouth closed,

[45:02] because she's dying to say that fucking stupid joke.

[45:05] And of course she says, cat got your tongue?

[45:08] And he's like, yeah, totally, but he couldn't say it.

Dan McCoy

[45:11] Oof.

[45:12] I agree with Stuart.

[45:13] I think on the basis of the basketball scene alone,

[45:17] this would be a good, bad movie.

[45:18] You know, like, the idea that in a cat woman movie,

[45:23] there's a, like, four-minute-long sequence

[45:26] where, like, where two people flirt

[45:28] using super cat powers to play basketball

[45:31] is astounding.

[45:34] And I think that that's the spirit

[45:36] that the whole movie has.

[45:37] It just, it makes the weirdest choices.

[45:40] I already mentioned about how, like,

[45:42] yeah, like you were saying,

[45:43] the stakes of the movie are,

[45:45] oh, there's, like, weird cosmetics going around

[45:47] that could scar you, I guess.

[45:50] Yeah.

[45:50] The end.

[45:50] Yeah.

[45:51] We need someone with the powers of a cat

[45:53] to get to the bottom of this.

[45:55] Yeah.

[45:56] So that's what I say about it.

S3

[45:57] Yeah, no, I agree.

[45:58] I was going to go bad, bad,

[46:00] but then, again, that...

Stuart Wellington

[46:01] We swayed my impassioned pleas.

S3

[46:04] We swayed you.

[46:05] No, that basketball scene turned it for me

[46:07] because when I saw that basketball scene,

[46:08] I was like, oh, my God, this is...

[46:10] I would show this to a friend now.

[46:11] And that makes it a good, bad movie.

[46:13] I'm like, you got to see this.

[46:14] You got to see this.

[46:15] Like, please come over to my home someday

[46:17] and I'll show you the basketball scene

Stuart Wellington

[46:18] from Catwoman.

Dan McCoy

[46:20] Ronnie invites someone into the house

[46:22] and just silently turns the lights off

[46:25] and locks the door behind them.

S3

[46:28] I was on a plane when I watched it,

[46:30] so I had no escape.

[46:30] But, yeah, this place, yeah, it was...

[46:34] I mean, I'm trying to figure out

[46:35] if there's a bigger message in this whole thing.

[46:39] I mean, I actually...

[46:41] For us?

[46:42] Something that we can learn from it?

[46:43] Yeah, I mean, I've been talking for years

[46:45] about how 60% of cats globally have toxoplasmosis,

[46:49] which is a brain parasite.

[46:51] And, yeah, 60% of cats,

[46:53] it transfers to humans very easily.

[46:54] It's a correlation between having toxoplasmosis

[46:57] and increased risk-taking in women.

[47:01] As well as if you're pregnant,

[47:04] apparently you're more likely to give birth to men.

[47:05] Who knows?

[47:06] All right?

[47:06] But I was wondering why this whole thing

[47:10] was just a result of a brain parasite.

[47:14] Oh.

[47:16] From a cat.

[47:17] And so that first cat we see in the movie

[47:19] gave Halle Berry a brain parasite,

[47:21] she hallucinates the whole thing.

Stuart Wellington

[47:23] That makes sense, yeah.

[47:24] Yeah.

[47:30] Unless you wish you could trade in

[47:31] your own family for the Pearsons,

[47:33] Inside Pop is definitely not for you.

S8

[47:35] Sean, that's a little extreme

[47:36] and also not quite true.

Stuart Wellington

[47:38] Okay, Amita, how about Inside Pop

[47:40] is the podcast for people who love

[47:41] and appreciate the best pop culture has to offer?

S8

[47:44] Oh, much better.

Stuart Wellington

[47:45] In every episode, we interview the people

[47:47] who create the culture you crave.

S8

[47:49] Past interviews include

[47:50] the production designer for Fargo

[47:52] and Tony DeCray from the DreamWorks story department.

Stuart Wellington

[47:54] You'll also get the very best pop culture recommendations

[47:57] in our Big Sell segment.

S8

[47:58] Plus, the opinions of two TV producers

[48:00] who are pop culture obsessives

[48:01] and actually do wish Sterling K. Brown was our cousin.

Stuart Wellington

[48:04] Kissing cousins, that is.

S8

[48:06] Listen to Inside Pop every other Wednesday

[48:08] on the Maximum Fun Podcast Network.

S4

[48:19] There's nothing quite like sailing

[48:21] in the calm international waters

[48:23] on my ship, the SS Biopic.

S5

[48:27] Avast!

[48:27] It's actually pronounced biopic.

S4

[48:31] No, you dingus!

[48:33] It's biopic!

[48:34] Who the hell says that?

[48:35] It's biopic!

[48:37] It's the words, the biography, and pictures.

[48:40] If you...

[48:41] All right, that is enough.

[48:42] Ahoy!

[48:43] I'm Dave Holmes.

[48:44] I'm the host of the newly rebooted podcast

[48:46] formerly known as International Waters,

[48:49] designed to resolve petty but persistent arguments like this.

[48:52] How?

[48:53] By pitting two teams of opinionated comedians

[48:56] against each other

[48:56] with trivia and improv games, of course.

[48:59] Winner takes home the right to be right.

[49:01] What podcast be this?

Dan McCoy

[49:03] It's called Troubled Waters,

[49:04] where we disagree to disagree!

[49:08] All right.

[49:09] It's a live show.

[49:11] That means a solo ad read from me.

[49:13] And here's a little peek behind the curtain

[49:15] in case you are downloading this late.

[49:18] This is a replacement solo ad read.

[49:20] I originally posted this episode

[49:22] with totally inaudible ad stuff

[49:26] for seven minutes.

[49:28] Great.

[49:28] You know why?

[49:30] Because the sound bar on the...

[49:33] the dial thingy,

[49:35] the levels thingy

[49:36] on my digital recorder

[49:39] was down at three

[49:41] for some reason.

[49:43] And I,

[49:45] like a real professional,

[49:46] did not listen

[49:47] when I slotted it in.

[49:50] Anyway,

[49:51] I hope that our sponsors

[49:52] appreciate

[49:53] everything we do for them.

[49:57] Look,

[49:58] I'm sorry.

[49:59] I'm sorry

[49:59] if people

[50:01] download this

[50:03] and don't get their stuff.

[50:04] I don't know how best to do it.

[50:05] I'm trying to

[50:06] try and make it up right now.

[50:08] Let's hope that you didn't

[50:09] download this originally.

[50:12] The Flophouse,

[50:14] oh boy,

[50:15] is supported

[50:16] in part by Squarespace.

[50:19] With Squarespace,

[50:20] you can create

[50:21] a beautiful website

[50:22] to turn your cool idea

[50:23] into a new website.

[50:25] You know,

[50:26] your idea is probably

[50:27] pretty good,

[50:28] but if you think it's cool,

[50:30] why not turn it

[50:31] into a website?

[50:32] You can blog

[50:32] or publish content.

[50:33] You can sell products

[50:34] and services

[50:35] of all kinds

[50:36] and more.

[50:38] And as we discussed

[50:39] before,

[50:40] and more

[50:41] pretty much encompasses

[50:42] anything?

[50:45] Squarespace features,

[50:46] beautiful,

[50:46] customizable templates

[50:47] created by world-class designers,

[50:49] a new way to buy domains

[50:51] and choose from

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[50:53] analytics that help you

[50:55] grow in real time,

[50:56] and 24-7

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[50:59] If you're a customer

[51:00] and you want support,

[51:02] why not make it

[51:03] award-winning?

[51:05] Make it stand out

[51:05] with a beautiful website

[51:07] from Squarespace.

[51:07] Listen,

[51:08] check out

[51:09] Squarespace.com

[51:10] slash flop

[51:10] for a free trial,

[51:12] and when you're ready

[51:13] to launch,

[51:13] use the offer code

[51:14] FLOP,

[51:15] that's F-L-O-P,

[51:17] to save 10% off

[51:18] your first purchase

[51:19] of a website

[51:20] or domain.

[51:21] Am I fucking around

[51:22] less than normal?

[51:24] Yes,

[51:25] I apologize.

[51:27] Oh,

[51:27] brother,

[51:28] if you had heard

[51:28] the other ad read,

[51:30] it was terrible.

[51:32] It was the worst ever,

[51:33] but it went on

[51:34] for a long time,

[51:35] so if you like

[51:36] that terrible

[51:37] ad read content

[51:39] dragging on and on,

[51:41] I'm sorry

[51:42] that you missed it.

[51:44] Hey,

[51:44] guys,

[51:45] Jumbotrons,

[51:46] we all love them,

[51:47] especially the people

[51:48] who get them,

[51:49] and again,

[51:50] I hope that they get

[51:51] these Jumbotrons.

[51:53] Who is this message for?

[51:54] It is for Jay.

[51:56] It is from Laura.

[51:58] Happy birthday,

[51:59] Jay.

[51:59] This is the 11th

[52:00] of your 32 birthdays

[52:02] we've spent together,

[52:03] and I'm looking forward

[52:04] to so many more.

[52:07] Let's celebrate

[52:07] by watching a good,

[52:08] bad movie

[52:09] and eating cupcakes,

[52:10] yeah?

[52:11] We can even fit in

[52:12] some skipping down the street.

[52:13] I love you,

[52:14] and I love listening

[52:15] to podcasts with you

[52:16] from one real pile

[52:17] of cats to another.

[52:19] Row, row.

[52:20] I apologize to Stuart

[52:21] for using his

[52:23] intellectual property.

[52:25] I will be paying him

[52:27] what it's worth.

[52:29] This next message

[52:31] is for Armand,

[52:33] and it's from Emily.

[52:34] Armand,

[52:36] consider this

[52:37] down payment

[52:37] on attendance

[52:38] at a future live taping.

[52:40] Hopefully,

[52:40] the Flophouse crew

[52:41] will do something

[52:42] before,

[52:43] I did this the last time too,

[52:45] before it's capitalized.

[52:48] Guys,

[52:48] this is really important

[52:49] for you to understand.

[52:50] Before it's capitalized

[52:51] in the next line,

[52:53] and so when I get

[52:53] to the point

[52:54] in the line above

[52:55] where I should be saying

[52:57] a word that's not before,

[52:59] my dumb brain says,

[53:00] hey,

[53:00] that capitalized word

[53:02] seems important.

[53:03] I should probably say

[53:04] that now.

[53:05] And so it gets

[53:06] all jumbled up.

[53:07] Let's start again

[53:07] from the top.

[53:08] Armand,

[53:10] consider this down payment

[53:11] on attendance

[53:12] at a future live taping.

[53:13] Hopefully,

[53:14] the Flophouse crew

[53:14] will do something

[53:15] in Los Angeles soon.

[53:17] If only I had known

[53:19] of Elliot Kalin

[53:20] versus Felicia Day

[53:21] at Angel City Brewery

[53:23] before it happened.

[53:25] But not to worry,

[53:26] I'm now following

[53:26] everyone on Twitter.

[53:29] All this to say,

[53:30] happy birthday

[53:31] and I love you.

[53:33] Jesus God,

[53:34] let these messages

[53:35] get to the people

[53:36] who paid for them.

[53:38] If not,

[53:39] I'm sure we can do something

[53:41] to make it up to you.

[53:43] Contact people

[53:44] and complain.

[53:45] I apologize.

[53:47] All right,

[53:47] let's just get back

[53:48] to the live episode.

[53:53] So,

[53:54] on that note,

[53:56] we're going to move on

[53:57] to the next segment

[53:58] which is,

[53:58] we've got about

[53:59] 13,

[54:00] 15 minutes.

[54:02] If anyone

[54:02] has questions

[54:04] or if you don't have questions,

[54:05] we have a letter

[54:06] we could read.

[54:07] But usually,

[54:08] we take audience questions

[54:09] at live shows

[54:09] if anyone has them.

[54:10] But we don't have to.

[54:12] Don't feel obligated.

[54:13] If you're dying

[54:14] to come up

Stuart Wellington

[54:15] and ask us a question

[54:16] about movies,

[54:17] please do get in line

[54:18] up by this microphone.

[54:19] But before you do that,

[54:20] I'm going to read us

[54:20] a little letter

[54:21] from a listener.

[54:23] Dear Dan

[54:24] and Stu.

[54:25] I've written into your podcast

[54:27] before,

[54:27] but never with the anger

[54:29] I'm feeling now.

[54:31] Oh dear.

[54:31] You all bring something

[54:32] unique to this podcast,

[54:34] but Elliot

[54:34] has always been

[54:35] the heart and soul

[54:36] of the Enterprise.

[54:38] This was true

[54:39] even from the beginning

[54:40] when he wasn't

[54:41] even on the show.

[54:43] And yet,

[54:44] and yet,

Stuart Wellington

[54:44] now I see

[54:45] that you have

[54:46] the temerity

[54:47] to replace him

[54:48] so casually

[54:49] and callously

[54:50] with Ronnie Chang,

[54:52] who I assume

[54:53] doesn't even have

[54:54] the decency

[54:54] to interrupt you

[54:55] both regularly

[54:56] and without mercy.

[54:59] Well,

[55:00] this will not stand.

[55:01] The next time

[55:01] you make a live

[55:02] appearance,

[55:03] you better have

[55:04] Elliot Kalin

[55:05] with you.

[55:06] And you better

[55:07] apologize to him

[55:08] profusely.

[55:09] I have one question

[55:10] for you.

[55:11] What's your favorite

[55:12] thing about Elliot?

[55:14] Signed,

[55:15] Elliot,

[55:15] last name with help.

Dan McCoy

[55:19] Even,

[55:19] even though I could

[55:20] see that,

[55:21] that punchline

[55:22] coming down the road,

[55:23] I still delighted

[55:24] in it when it arrived.

[55:25] I didn't see it.

S3

[55:28] I didn't see it.

[55:29] I thought someone

[55:29] actually wrote that.

[55:30] Yeah.

[55:31] I thought someone

[55:31] actually wrote that in.

[55:32] I was like,

[55:32] oh,

[55:32] they're angry at me already?

[55:33] I haven't been

[55:34] on the podcast yet.

Dan McCoy

[55:36] What's my favorite

[55:37] thing about Elliot?

Stuart Wellington

[55:39] My favorite thing

[55:40] is that he trusted me

[55:41] pronouncing the word

[55:42] temerity correctly.

Dan McCoy

[55:46] My favorite thing

[55:47] about him is that

[55:47] he gave the letter

[55:48] to you to read,

[55:49] so I didn't have

[55:50] to stumble over

[55:50] the words.

Stuart Wellington

[55:53] I like his glasses.

[55:54] Oh,

[55:55] that's,

[55:55] they're very handsome.

[55:57] And there's also

[55:58] a second letter.

[56:00] Dear Dan,

[56:01] I love you.

[56:02] I want to go

[56:03] to Brooklyn sometime

[56:04] and see you.

[56:04] From Sammy Lincoln,

[56:05] last name withheld.

[56:06] Aw.

[56:07] That's Elliot's

[56:08] boy,

[56:09] young boy.

[56:11] It says here,

[56:12] this is going to

[56:12] make Dan cry

[56:13] and it didn't,

[56:14] so fuck that guy.

Dan McCoy

[56:17] So,

[56:18] if anyone doesn't

[56:22] have a question,

[56:23] I mean,

[56:23] we could just

[56:24] wrap it up.

[56:24] Give them a chance.

S3

[56:25] Give them a chance.

[56:26] There might be

[56:27] someone with anybody.

[56:28] Anybody have one question?

[56:29] Yeah,

[56:29] there we go.

[56:30] Thank you.

[56:31] Thank you.

[56:34] Hi.

[56:34] Hello.

S5

[56:36] I have a question.

[56:38] What's your name?

[56:39] Oh,

[56:39] sorry.

[56:39] My name is Elizabeth.

S3

[56:41] Where are you from,

[56:41] Elizabeth?

S5

[56:42] Here,

[56:42] in New York.

[56:43] Oh,

[56:43] from New York?

[56:44] Yes.

[56:44] Hello.

S3

[56:45] What's your favorite?

[56:46] Oh,

[56:46] no,

[56:46] go ahead.

[56:48] Ronnie's just used

[56:48] to doing crowd work.

[56:49] Crowd work,

[56:50] yeah.

[56:50] What's your name?

[56:51] Where are you from?

[56:53] That place sucks.

[56:54] Yeah,

[56:54] that's crowd work.

[56:55] So,

S5

[56:58] lately,

[56:58] the website,

[56:59] Rotten Tomatoes,

[57:00] has gotten a lot of press

[57:02] because there's many people

[57:04] in Hollywood,

[57:06] particularly directors,

[57:07] who do not like the fact

[57:09] that publishing the,

[57:12] you know,

[57:13] reviews of a movie

[57:13] ahead of time,

[57:14] it seems to sort of sway people

[57:16] in terms of opening week

[57:19] in box office.

[57:20] And,

[57:21] you know,

[57:21] a lot of people do use

[57:22] Rotten Tomatoes now

[57:23] to sort of gauge

[57:24] is it going to be

[57:25] a good movie or not?

[57:26] Do I really want

[57:27] to go see it?

[57:29] And,

[57:30] since many of the movies

[57:32] that you review

[57:33] on the Flophouse

[57:34] are critical flops,

[57:37] but then are actually,

[57:38] you know,

[57:38] very successful

[57:39] in the box office,

[57:41] I was wondering

[57:42] if you knew

[57:43] of any sort of

[57:44] common themes

[57:45] to those sort of movies,

[57:47] like,

[57:48] something that maybe

[57:49] you tend to take out

[57:50] as enjoyment from them,

[57:52] you know,

[57:52] these movies

[57:53] that maybe the critics

[57:54] do give,

[57:55] like,

[57:55] 15%,

[57:56] you know,

[57:57] rotten score,

[57:58] but then they end up

[57:59] being a huge

[58:00] box office success.

Stuart Wellington

[58:02] Are you asking

[58:02] if we've,

[58:03] like,

[58:03] sat down in a dungeon

[58:04] somewhere

[58:05] with a bunch

[58:06] of computer screens

[58:07] and we're,

[58:07] like,

[58:07] piecing things together

[58:08] with red string

[58:09] trying to find

[58:10] the relationship?

[58:11] Because,

[58:12] yes.

[58:12] Yes,

[58:13] we've totally done that.

S3

[58:15] Interestingly,

[58:15] the Catwoman movie

[58:16] had shitty

[58:17] Rotten Tomatoes score,

[58:19] awesome Amazon score.

[58:21] Amazon scores,

[58:22] like,

[58:22] 4.5 out of 5.

Stuart Wellington

[58:25] That was 4.5 out of 5?

[58:27] Yeah.

[58:28] I thought that was

[58:28] out of 10.

S3

[58:30] Yeah.

[58:30] The Amazon score,

[58:31] sorry,

[58:31] but let me interrupt

[58:32] the question.

Stuart Wellington

[58:34] You didn't interrupt.

[58:35] You're answering

[58:35] the question here.

[58:37] So,

[58:38] the,

[58:38] it's tough to say,

[58:39] like,

[58:40] I feel like a lot

[58:40] of directors

[58:41] love to say

[58:42] that they make movies

[58:43] for the fans,

[58:43] not the critics.

[58:45] But I feel like

[58:46] for most of this,

[58:47] I mean,

[58:47] most of the time

[58:47] it's these,

[58:48] like,

[58:49] big,

[58:50] like,

[58:52] movies made by committee,

[58:53] by these huge studios

[58:54] who have so much money

[58:55] banking on something

[58:56] that,

[58:58] like,

[58:58] of course it's gonna

[58:59] fucking fail

[59:00] because so many people

[59:01] are involved

[59:01] and everybody's so nervous

[59:03] about offending anybody.

[59:05] Well,

[59:05] by anybody,

[59:06] I mean,

[59:06] usually just white guys.

[59:08] that they turn out

[59:10] some kind of piece of shit

[59:11] that just doesn't have any,

[59:13] like,

[59:13] doesn't make any kind

[59:14] of a message

[59:15] or stand or anything

[59:16] and just looks like

[59:17] something else

[59:18] or is in fact

[59:19] just a remake

[59:19] of something else.

Dan McCoy

[59:22] We're talking about

[59:23] the common threads

[59:24] between movies

[59:25] that are financially successful

[59:27] but critically flopped.

[59:28] Is that what it was?

[59:29] I didn't quite follow.

[59:30] Probably.

[59:33] A huge advertising budget.

[59:36] That's true,

[59:37] right?

[59:38] Yeah,

[59:38] like even,

[59:39] like Mordecai.

[59:40] Yeah,

[59:40] like Mordecai.

[59:42] It made all the money.

[59:43] They're like,

[59:43] they looked at the poster

[59:45] and like,

[59:45] that guy has a mustache.

[59:46] That's hilarious.

[59:48] So they went.

[59:49] They all went.

[59:50] Remember when Mordecai fever

[59:52] swept the nation,

[59:53] guys?

[59:55] That probably didn't answer

[59:57] the question

[59:57] but we have to move on.

[59:58] Mike, I'm Mike.

S6

[1:00:00] I'm from DC.

[1:00:01] I saw you too.

[1:00:02] Not you, Ronnie,

[1:00:03] but we were at the Pan Show.

[1:00:07] Oh, great.

[1:00:07] The Pan Show,

[1:00:08] the lost episode

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:09] that never got released.

[1:00:11] Dan, people can listen to it

[1:00:12] as recorded by somebody's phone

[1:00:14] in the audience.

[1:00:14] That's true.

[1:00:15] It's not lost.

S6

[1:00:16] But for Catwoman,

[1:00:18] my favorite scene

[1:00:19] was in the restaurant

[1:00:20] when she's doing sushi.

[1:00:23] Pat,

[1:00:23] you've been impressed?

[1:00:25] She's really impressed by...

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:27] That's the scene

[1:00:28] where she's just stuffing

[1:00:29] chunks of sushi

[1:00:30] in her mouth.

[1:00:30] Rapidly.

[1:00:30] Like a cat would,

[1:00:32] everybody.

S3

[1:00:33] But my question is...

[1:00:34] She's not using chopsticks

[1:00:35] which is offensive to me

[1:00:37] for obvious reasons.

[1:00:39] She's just taking the fish

[1:00:41] off the rice

[1:00:41] and just putting them up.

[1:00:42] Yeah, I know that.

[1:00:43] So fast.

S6

[1:00:45] But my question is,

[1:00:46] the neighbors,

[1:00:47] after she destroys the party,

[1:00:49] steals the motorcycle,

[1:00:50] there's no ramifications.

[1:00:52] They don't call the cops.

[1:00:53] Nothing happens

[1:00:54] and Benjamin Bratt

[1:00:55] is just continuing to go along

[1:00:57] and doesn't know

[1:00:57] about any of the...

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:59] Yeah, because the bike could use.

[1:01:00] They can't go to the law.

[1:01:03] I would have loved

[1:01:03] if they had reported it.

[1:01:05] And there was a scene

[1:01:05] where Benjamin Bratt's

[1:01:06] like figuring that out.

[1:01:07] He's like,

[1:01:08] okay, so the handwriting analysis,

[1:01:10] okay, the lipstick analysis.

[1:01:12] Wait a minute.

[1:01:13] Her neighbors complained

[1:01:14] about a cat-like lady

[1:01:16] destroying their stuff.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:19] I like the idea

[1:01:20] that they have to go

[1:01:21] through a bunch of analysis

[1:01:22] when they just know

[1:01:23] it's their neighbor.

[1:01:24] They'd be like,

[1:01:25] oh, it was that lady.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:27] We see her through

[1:01:28] the window all the time.

[1:01:29] We've told her to fuck off

Dan McCoy

[1:01:30] multiple times.

[1:01:30] Sometimes we cat-call her.

[1:01:33] Oh.

[1:01:36] This movie is for the birds.

[1:01:38] Am I doing it right?

[1:01:41] We have like five minutes left,

[1:01:43] so let's like run

[1:01:44] through these questions

[1:01:44] really fast.

S7

[1:01:45] Okay, I'll be really fast

[1:01:46] because this is from my friend

[1:01:47] since this is my first time

[1:01:48] hearing the show

[1:01:49] and it was great.

[1:01:50] I'm sorry.

[1:01:51] She says,

[1:01:52] in all caps,

[1:01:53] ask them about

[1:01:54] the Hogs Bottom Three.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:56] Oh, okay.

[1:01:57] So that is,

[1:01:58] that's a thing

[1:02:00] that we do

[1:02:01] on another podcast

[1:02:02] called The Adventure Zone,

[1:02:05] which is much more popular

[1:02:06] than this podcast.

[1:02:07] Thank you.

[1:02:09] And tell your friend

[1:02:10] maybe question mark?

[1:02:13] Okay.

[1:02:14] We'll do.

[1:02:14] Yeah, they may return

S3

[1:02:15] the Hogs Bottom Three.

[1:02:16] Wait, wait.

[1:02:17] I'm not on the,

[1:02:18] I'm not on the good podcast?

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:19] You might,

[1:02:20] who knows,

[1:02:21] maybe it'll be

[1:02:22] the Hogs Bottom Four, Ronnie.

[1:02:23] How much,

[1:02:24] what do you know

[1:02:24] about Dungeons and Dragons?

[1:02:26] Enough.

[1:02:28] That doesn't sound right.

S3

[1:02:31] I can roll,

[1:02:31] I can roll a 20

[1:02:33] with the best of them.

[1:02:34] Yeah.

[1:02:35] Yeah, come on, no?

[1:02:36] You can't even fake

Dan McCoy

[1:02:36] being a nerd, dude.

[1:02:38] What are you talking about?

[1:02:39] He speaks the lingo.

[1:02:40] Yeah.

S8

[1:02:43] Nicole,

[1:02:44] I'm from New York.

[1:02:45] I was just wondering

[1:02:46] with this movie

[1:02:46] compared to a movie

[1:02:47] like Wonder Woman,

[1:02:49] and we have this movie

[1:02:49] that it seems to be created

[1:02:50] by like 1950s style admin

[1:02:52] about what women like.

[1:02:53] What would be

[1:02:54] worse for women?

[1:02:56] Like a superhero

[1:02:57] that had to solve

[1:02:57] a case of like,

[1:02:58] like Kathy in the comics,

[1:03:00] like fine chocolate.

[1:03:01] Like is there a worse

[1:03:02] like version of Catwoman?

S3

[1:03:04] Oh, don't,

[1:03:05] don't answer,

[1:03:05] this is a trap by the way.

[1:03:09] The correct answer is

[1:03:11] we cannot say

[1:03:12] what would be worse

[1:03:14] for women.

[1:03:14] We have no idea.

[1:03:17] Wow.

[1:03:19] Yes.

[1:03:20] We kind of need you around.

[1:03:21] I went to law school,

[1:03:22] so let's just save

[1:03:25] our asses right now.

[1:03:26] I don't want to hear

[1:03:27] about this on Twitter.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:28] There is a great scene

[1:03:29] in Catwoman

[1:03:30] where she visits

[1:03:30] Alex Bornstein

[1:03:31] in the hospital,

[1:03:33] and she's like,

[1:03:34] I brought a snack for you

[1:03:35] and hands her

[1:03:36] a giant Hershey bar.

[1:03:38] And Alex Bornstein

[1:03:39] just like tears

[1:03:40] into that fucking thing.

[1:03:42] It's just weird.

[1:03:44] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:45] I guess the way

[1:03:46] that this could be worse

[1:03:46] is if it was

[1:03:47] Stan Lee's stripper Ella.

S3

[1:03:50] Yes.

[1:03:50] What's worse for women?

[1:03:52] I don't know,

[1:03:52] but just to quickly

[1:03:53] answer your question,

[1:03:54] seriously,

[1:03:54] I just made a TV show.

[1:03:56] The worst thing you can do

[1:03:57] is not be authentic

[1:03:59] to your story.

[1:04:03] I think authenticity

[1:04:04] resonates with people

[1:04:05] even if you can't relate to it.

[1:04:06] So when it's coming

[1:04:07] from an authentic place,

[1:04:08] so I guess the worst way

[1:04:10] you could mess up

[1:04:11] a movie about women

[1:04:13] is to not have women

[1:04:14] write it or direct it

[1:04:15] or whatever.

[1:04:15] But then you're gonna have

[1:04:16] your palm down.

[1:04:18] Sorry, was that too serious

[1:04:19] for this?

[1:04:20] No, it was great.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:21] We've got one more question.

[1:04:23] We can just fit it in,

[1:04:24] I think.

S9

[1:04:25] Very quick.

[1:04:26] It's about that scene

[1:04:27] in Catwoman at the opera

[1:04:28] where the performers

[1:04:29] are swinging from rope

[1:04:31] and Catwoman ends up

[1:04:33] on the stage.

[1:04:34] I swear I saw momentarily

[1:04:36] that she was batting

[1:04:37] at the performers

[1:04:38] like a cat.

[1:04:39] Did you all see that?

[1:04:41] I might have imagined it.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:43] Oh, man.

[1:04:44] See, that's the thing.

[1:04:45] When you know it's true art,

[1:04:47] there's so much richness

[1:04:48] of it that you can

[1:04:50] miss something.

[1:04:52] Layers, Dan,

[1:04:53] is what you're saying.

[1:04:54] Yeah, yeah.

[1:04:54] That's great.

[1:04:55] When I revisit Catwoman.

S3

[1:04:57] I'll look out for that, yeah.

[1:04:58] But yeah,

[1:04:59] they definitely fucking

[1:05:00] halfway through,

[1:05:01] I'm like,

[1:05:01] we get it.

[1:05:03] She has similarities

[1:05:04] to cats.

[1:05:06] It's in the title

[1:05:07] of the film.

[1:05:08] We get it.

[1:05:09] Drinking milk at bars.

[1:05:10] She's fucking,

[1:05:11] she's...

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:12] Oh, my God.

[1:05:13] The milk at the bars.

S3

[1:05:15] Oh, God.

[1:05:15] I don't want to talk about this.

[1:05:16] I want a white Russian

[1:05:17] without the...

[1:05:18] Hold the vodka,

[1:05:20] hold the Kahlua,

[1:05:21] and then just cream.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:22] Yes.

[1:05:23] She drank...

[1:05:23] Fuck.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:27] We could talk about this all day,

[1:05:29] but we probably shouldn't

[1:05:30] because there are other podcasts

[1:05:31] waiting to come in here.

[1:05:33] But I just want to thank

[1:05:34] the Now Hear This Festival

[1:05:36] for having us.

[1:05:37] Yeah, thanks so much.

[1:05:38] I want to thank everyone

[1:05:39] who was here at the Javits Center

[1:05:40] who came out to us

[1:05:41] and, I don't know,

[1:05:42] missed who charted or whatever.

[1:05:46] So, thank you so much.

[1:05:47] Thank Ronnie for coming out.

[1:05:48] Thank you, Ronnie.

[1:05:48] Thanks for having me.

[1:05:49] For running here.

S3

[1:05:50] Thanks for having me.

[1:05:51] Thank you, Delta,

[1:05:52] for getting me here on time.

[1:05:54] Thank you, New York Taxis,

[1:05:56] for getting me here on time.

[1:05:57] Thank you, University of Arkansas,

[1:05:58] for the great gig last night.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:01] Appreciate it.

[1:06:02] For the Flophouse,

[1:06:03] I've been Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:04] Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:06:06] Oh, I'm Ryan Chang.

[1:06:07] Good night, everyone.

[1:06:08] Thanks.

[1:06:32] MaximumFun.org

Dan McCoy

[1:06:41] Comedy and culture.

[1:06:42] Artist owned.

[1:06:43] Listener supported.

Ep.#277 - Catwoman

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