Ep.#277 - Catwoman

[0:00] Please welcome to the stage Daniel McCoy and Stuart Wellington.

[0:04] Hey guys. Hello. Thanks for coming.

[0:31] Yeah, thanks for coming out guys.

[0:34] How many of you actually listened to the show?

[0:38] Good. Not bad.

[0:40] And how many of you just like wandered in from DragCon?

[0:44] Alright, so it's about an even split. That's alright.

[0:46] Yeah, that's pretty good. That's better than our shows normally are.

[0:50] The show's a little different than we normally have.

[0:52] Our co-host Elliot Kalin, usually the motor-mouth star of the show,

[1:00] he recently moved to L.A. and it was too fast for him to come back.

[1:04] It was like a month ago.

[1:06] Too fast and too furious.

[1:08] Yeah.

[1:09] Okay, I'm done. See you guys later.

[1:11] So he was like, screw you guys. Do it on your own.

[1:14] And instead we got Ronny Chieng from The Daily Show, one of the correspondents.

[1:19] He will be coming out in just a second.

[1:22] But I just wanted to clarify in case Elliot fans were in the audience.

[1:29] When you said Elliot wasn't here, people start coming in.

[1:32] Wow, they're so excited.

[1:35] They don't want their ears to bleed.

[1:37] Okay, now that I've gotten done burning Elliot, thanks for coming out.

[1:41] We'll talk about our show.

[1:43] I don't know what else to say, Dan.

[1:45] You've got a bunch of plans for vamping.

[1:47] No, no.

[1:48] This is what passes for warming up the crowd with us.

[1:52] So good luck to us, I suppose.

[1:57] We should just bring Ronny out now.

[1:58] I just wanted to give a little chat.

[2:00] We did great.

[2:01] Yeah.

[2:02] Come on out.

[2:11] Thank you.

[2:12] Thanks for having me, everybody.

[2:13] So nice to be here.

[2:15] Very glad that I made it.

[2:16] I got to say, the people at RuddCon, super unhelpful.

[2:21] Very unhelpful.

[2:23] Asked them for directions to Podcast Fest.

[2:25] They did not care at all about my situation.

[2:28] But they looked pretty great though, right?

[2:30] They were super good-looking models.

[2:32] I think it's funny that they put the coolest convention in the basement next to the nerdiest convention.

[2:40] They took one look at me and was like, you're not buying a rug we don't care about.

[2:46] Because there's a rug convention too, right?

[2:48] Is that what somebody was saying?

[2:49] That's a conceit of the pit.

[2:52] No, I thought there was a rug convention.

[2:54] There's a rug convention?

[2:55] Yeah, that's what I said.

[2:56] The rug convention people, they're unhelpful.

[2:59] Like that thing?

[3:01] Yeah, I think so.

[3:02] Dan's pointing at the floor.

[3:05] Yeah.

[3:06] All right.

[3:07] Thank you for having me.

[3:08] We should get started with the show.

[3:11] Thanks.

[3:12] Ronny, do you want a water?

[3:13] Thank you so much.

[3:14] I almost did not make this podcast.

[3:16] Yeah, let's save it for the show.

[3:17] Oh, you want to save it?

[3:18] Oh, the show hasn't started yet?

[3:19] Well, we're going to do the intro.

[3:21] Yeah, okay.

[3:22] And then we'll do the show.

[3:23] Sure, okay.

[3:24] Just for the purposes of, if we release this later on, we have to pretend like this is

[3:29] a professional outfit.

[3:31] Yeah, yeah.

[3:32] So I'm just going to do the intro.

[3:36] On tonight's episode, we discuss Catwoman.

[3:40] Live from the Javits Center.

[3:46] All right.

[3:48] Got it in one.

[3:49] That went pretty good, yeah.

[3:50] Got it in one.

[3:51] All right.

[3:52] So let's just start off.

[3:54] Hello, and welcome to the Flophouse.

[3:56] I'm Dan McCoy.

[3:57] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[3:59] I'm Ronny Chang.

[4:00] Yeah.

[4:01] Oh, yeah.

[4:02] We should have gone over that.

[4:05] I figured he's a smart guy.

[4:06] He can pick up what's going on.

[4:07] I figured the body language when you pointed to me.

[4:10] Yes, that's right.

[4:11] That's right.

[4:12] We have a guest host in place of L.A. Kalen.

[4:14] It is The Daily Show's Ronny Chang.

[4:16] Yeah.

[4:17] Thanks for having me.

[4:18] I've heard a lot about this podcast.

[4:20] Everywhere I go to around the world, actually, people tell me about this podcast.

[4:25] Okay.

[4:26] In Singapore, I'm being interviewed while I'm doing a movie.

[4:29] You know, just not bragging.

[4:31] And while I'm doing a movie, press comes, and all the press wants to talk about is how I'm on the same show as Dan McCoy from Flophouse.

[4:39] That's not true.

[4:40] That is true.

[4:41] She goes, but Dan McCoy and the Flophouse.

[4:43] I'm like, I can't believe you know this.

[4:45] Because I used to live in Australia, and I used to live in Singapore.

[4:48] And when I go back to Australia to do shows, even in Australia, they talk about the Flophouse.

[4:53] Even in Australia?

[4:55] Yeah.

[4:56] So you guys got to do a show about Australia and Singapore.

[4:59] Even those descendants of criminals.

[5:01] Okay.

[5:02] I was going to say go there and do a show, but not anymore.

[5:04] You just killed your Australian market with that.

[5:06] But, yeah, man, everywhere globally, they tell me, oh, you work with Dan McCoy from the Flophouse.

[5:12] I'm like, yes, I do.

[5:14] I'm also very famous as well.

[5:18] Usually when people say you work with Dan McCoy from the Flophouse, they say it almost like a threat.

[5:24] Like I'm not leaving this escape room alive.

[5:28] No, we should – I think it's fun to just mention that.

[5:32] So, Ronnie, you almost didn't make it here today.

[5:36] I made it one minute before you called my name on stage is when I came – I got here.

[5:41] I was doing a show in Arkansas, University of Arkansas yesterday.

[5:45] Great show.

[5:46] Great people.

[5:47] It went well.

[5:48] It did.

[5:49] It was good.

[5:50] No, it's great.

[5:51] Yeah, very low expectations, but it went very well.

[5:52] And then –

[5:53] Of the state or –

[5:54] No, it was a college gig, and usually you have low expectations for stand-up at colleges

[5:59] because I always feel like they're going to be jaded teenagers who are too cool for school and smartasses.

[6:04] But they weren't.

[6:05] They were super cool people.

[6:06] They were super friendly and really nice, and the gig went well.

[6:10] And I actually enjoy traveling around America because I've only been in America for two years, and so I'm not jaded.

[6:16] So I like to see different places, and I read Bill Clinton's biography twice.

[6:21] So I'm a big fan of Arkansas.

[6:23] And –

[6:24] Are you going to be taking sign-ups for the admissions at the University of Arkansas after the show?

[6:29] Shout-out to University of Arkansas.

[6:30] You guys were great.

[6:31] Thanks for having me.

[6:32] And then I came back.

[6:33] I got a 6 a.m. flight just to make this podcast.

[6:36] I know.

[6:38] But then the flight, the first flight, they had an intercom problem.

[6:42] One of those things that was like the tiniest problem that caused the biggest issue.

[6:46] So one hour – that flight got delayed by one hour.

[6:49] Then on my Delta app, it pops up like, hey, do you want to re-book, re-route your flight through Washington, D.C., and get here?

[6:56] I'm like, yeah, OK.

[6:57] So I re-booked it.

[6:58] Thank you so much.

[6:59] Yeah.

[7:00] No, but then after – no, the story's not over yet.

[7:02] And then I re-booked.

[7:04] But you're saying that this podcast almost was destroyed by audio issues?

[7:08] Yeah.

[7:10] Yeah, on-plane.

[7:11] And then I re-booked it on the app because I thought technology is helpful, and so I re-booked it.

[7:18] And then the flight turned out to leave like – I made my connection, but I couldn't get on it because I re-booked the flight.

[7:27] I know.

[7:28] And I had to wait until 1230 for the next one.

[7:30] So I got on that flight, and then someone on that flight had a heart attack.

[7:33] And then we were delayed at the – yeah, we were delayed while he had to go out.

[7:37] I was like, it's so fucking inconsiderate when these people have heart attacks on planes.

[7:41] And then that's why – that's why I was so late for this.

[7:44] And then I made it here just when you said Ronny Chieng, and I walked in.

[7:46] I was like, yes.

[7:47] Ronny, did you run over an elderly woman who could have been a witch?

[7:50] Is that possible?

[7:52] I was in a – I was looking at my phone, so I'm not sure.

[7:55] Maybe that happened.

[7:59] So this is a true tales of travel podcast.

[8:04] I know that's incredibly boring, but it was a very exhilarating morning for me.

[8:08] You have no idea.

[8:09] And I've been looking forward to doing this podcast, so I didn't want to miss it.

[8:12] You needed a little time to decompress.

[8:13] You needed a vent to the audience.

[8:15] Oh, yeah. I did.

[8:16] I know.

[8:17] It's one of those – I know I sound like the crazy punch right now, but I had a very crazy morning.

[8:21] But this is not a travel podcast despite what Stuart just said.

[8:26] The trickster god Stuart.

[8:28] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie, and then we talk about it.

[8:32] And Ronny chose our movie this time.

[8:36] And it's Catwoman 2004.

[8:40] Starring Halle Berry.

[8:42] Now, why did you choose this movie, Ronny?

[8:45] Because it's popped up on a bad movie list for a long time, but I've never gone around to watching it.

[8:52] So I figured this would have motivated me to.

[8:55] The way you say you've never gotten around to watching it.

[8:58] And also I feel like with the current tone of Marvel movies, it's important to reflect on superhero movies in times past.

[9:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[9:11] And the lessons we learned from them going forward.

[9:14] And you want to see how to build a cinematic universe.

[9:17] Around, yeah, Catwoman.

[9:19] So we should go over what actually happened in this movie.

[9:23] I'm pulling out my notes here.

[9:26] Oh, I actually have an iPad with it on.

[9:29] We just show it to the audience.

[9:30] Right.

[9:33] Interesting movie as well, the way it came out.

[9:36] I mean, there was lots of hype around it, I think.

[9:39] It starred an Oscar winner, right?

[9:41] Yeah.

[9:43] Well, Sharon Stone as well.

[9:46] So it had a lot of hype.

[9:48] And a number of cats are in the movie.

[9:50] Yeah, famous cats.

[9:51] Francis Conroy coming hot off the heels of Six Feet Under.

[9:55] A TV show.

[9:57] No, that's right.

[9:58] It's the new movie.

[10:00] Oh

[10:03] Three Asian people in the movie I counted old times I shout out Asians in film. Yeah, there was the

[10:10] there was the

[10:12] There was the henchman second hench second henchman, and then there was the

[10:18] forensic scientist

[10:20] Benita ha and then there was

[10:23] burglar

[10:25] Burglar number two

[10:27] Yeah

[10:29] It was a real watershed moment for a system. So the movie opens. Yeah, the movie opens then we are introduced to

[10:37] Patience. Oh wait. Oh before that. We have the opening

[10:41] We have the freaking Illuminati of cats. Oh, they show us how cats have been

[10:48] shaping world events

[10:51] In the hidden their hidden agenda throughout history. Yeah cats have been creating chemtrails for a long time

[10:57] I

[10:59] Mean, yeah, you do remember that with the opening sequence like a montage of cats in history influencing global

[11:07] Makes a lot of sense

[11:08] If you think about it, oh my god

[11:11] But yeah, your patience Phillips is the patience Phillips

[11:14] So this is the first indication that this is not going to be a traditional Catwoman movie since Selena Kyle. Oh, okay

[11:21] Is the actual Catwoman? Okay, stop staring at me Dan. It's alright

[11:26] It's Alina Kyle, okay, I get it

[11:30] So she works for a cosmetics company, of course she does that it's about I'm

[11:37] Is about to do a new skin cream called a bowline. I think it's Bialin is how they pronounce it

[11:44] Did you just read the novelization? I?

[11:47] Just I didn't have time so I decided to do the thing that would take more time

[11:55] Of the novelization

[11:57] Written by Alan Dean Foster

[11:59] anyway, a

[12:01] Lot of Alan Dean Foster fans in the audience today

[12:05] All right

[12:08] Bialin is the name of the product. Yep

[12:10] We're introduced to it because Alex Borstein the best friend who's quirky

[12:14] Got a hold of an early advanced copy of the cream and she's been smearing it on her face

[12:19] She talks about how great it is, but then she immediately says but I've been having these weird headaches

[12:26] Surely that doesn't foreshadow any no, no, no, that's completely unrelated

[12:32] So it's supposed to reverse the effects of aging this cream

[12:39] But

[12:40] patients has a

[12:42] Delivery to make late at night in the research and development department. Oh, man, you're going way too fast

[12:47] We have to touch on the fact that we have a meet cute with

[12:50] Hunky Benjamin Bratt where she is chasing a cat outside of a building almost falls to her death

[12:56] But luckily Benjamin Bratt breaks

[13:03] Breaks into her apartment and saves her at the last second and it's really great. That's all I have to say

[13:10] And this shows the bond the burgeoning bond

[13:15] Benjamin Bratt between know the burgeoning bond that

[13:19] Patience has with cats

[13:21] That she is so willing to go out and save a cat by dangling from a building

[13:27] Oh, she stands on top of a AC unit. Yeah, that's crazy. She's that's

[13:32] You know, I don't know that's as dangerous as you can get in New York City

[13:37] Yeah, Ronnie Chang's like the more, you know, yeah never stand on an AC unit

[13:44] America I'm like, you know, I've never seen an AC unit in my life. I'm like, I don't stand on that

[13:48] Yeah, it's not gonna support your weight. I know you gotta find that cat, but why don't you have a little more patience?

[13:57] And all by way Benjamin Bratt's if his character's name is easier say it's Tom Lone I think Tom

[14:03] Lone a normal name. Yeah

[14:08] So, yeah, so she's chasing this cat

[14:11] This is a cat that she saw which mysteriously appears and disappears like teleporting

[14:15] She sees it briefly when her neighbors keep her up at late at night by blasting who bestang

[14:22] Yes, I'm glad did you watch it with the subtitle watch it with this?

[14:29] I'm sure they're contractually obligated to mention that it's who bestang

[14:33] Uva sank had that in there writer. I guess is that what they yeah, and then this cat keeps teleporting like nightcrawler just

[14:40] one way is outside on a motorcycle woman's in the house woman's on the

[14:44] Tempting you to commit suicide. It's not a normal kitty cat Dan and then flash forward to the mysterious

[14:51] Late night delivery. You were talking about before I interrupted you. Sorry. Yeah, she was going to

[14:56] Deliver something and she goes down into the research and development lab and overhears

[15:02] That this new beauty product has horrible side effects. No, it scars people's faces

[15:09] But that's the opposite of what it should be doing

[15:11] Yeah, and Sharon stones like I don't care if you keep using if you keep using the cosmetic cream

[15:17] It doesn't do any of this to you. So let's just ship it out. Yeah, which seems ridiculous

[15:22] I mean, it's a like no matter how evil Sharon Stone is supposed to be as this

[15:27] Cosmetics magnate like you would think that be like, okay, we're gonna get sued, you know

[15:33] Like we can't yeah that if she's like driven by money, right?

[15:37] That's the idea behind this is that well, she's also driven by like not wanting to age

[15:43] Sharon stone like her she used to be the face of this cosmetics company and she's been replaced by younger people because

[15:49] The world is cruel to women. Oh

[15:52] That's what they're trying to say with her. Okay?

[15:56] Yeah

[16:01] Her motivations are very unclear now that you mentioned it

[16:05] Was she trying to make money or was she trying to I mean if she wants to be beautiful she keep it for herself

[16:10] So, I don't know what the fuck she's that's true

[16:13] Unless maybe she won't she wants to make sure that she has like a steady supply of money

[16:19] No, I feel lean the magical. Oh, but again power giving stuff again now that you mentioned I never thought that

[16:25] Thought that but yeah, the motivations are very unclear. Oh, yeah, so patience over here's this she goes running around a henchman chases her

[16:34] Shoot her because of this. Yeah, like they're just adding murders make sense to me, by the way

[16:39] She's on their property Dan that this is the top secret facility part of having a conversation in this like

[16:46] Laboratory, she messes a stroll right in despite not being again the front door. She couldn't get in the front door

[16:52] That's why she strolled into the most like secure part of the building instead

[16:56] She has to deliver a good and her boss gave her a deadline of midnight

[17:01] She has to do a physical delivery at midnight, that's crazy. This is in 2004. There's email then, right?

[17:08] I don't remember. It's like years ago. Yeah, Nokia phones

[17:12] I remember phones right because of the product placement. Yeah, but this is very clear in my head this top-secret

[17:19] Cosmetics facility. Let's just rest that phrase in your mind for a little bit

[17:25] She runs down like this

[17:28] drainage tube basically

[17:30] Yeah a basement designed by HR Giger

[17:35] Release a bunch of water

[17:36] spewing

[17:37] Patients out into the river. Uh-huh, you know where she drowns, of course

[17:42] Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. And then she's brought back to life by cats

[17:45] Yep

[17:45] A computer generated cat climbs on her dead body's chest and breathes life into her body and it makes perfect sense life into her

[17:53] nostrils

[17:56] You have a cat

[17:58] Take this life

[18:03] Came out in hairball

[18:05] Yeah, that's just a hairball. Sorry. No, this is the light

[18:10] The hidden damn the movie the hidden where yeah where the weird alien worm travels from one person's mouth to another person's mouth

[18:16] Yeah, watch the hidden guys. It's great

[18:20] Allegory for a sec STDs. Yeah, but

[18:23] This is another departure from Catwoman mythos like the only I mean this is actually the way that in Batman returns

[18:30] She's brought back to life like by cats, but I don't think that in the comics this ever happens like in the comics

[18:36] She doesn't have superpowers. She's just a cat burglar

[18:39] Like she's just really good at like doing flips and whipping people and stuff

[18:42] So you're rushing ahead and saying that in addition to being brought back to life. She gains the powers of a cat. Yes

[18:49] And that's actually the one that's actually the one scene that I kind of liked in the movie where she was like

[18:55] walking around her apartment like she suddenly has these cat powers and

[19:00] she is

[19:02] Doing like go on

[19:05] Sofa and I don't know like the fact the one scene she's doing balance beam stuff

[19:10] Like anytime she walks into a room and there's a table. She's like, I'm jumping on that table

[19:15] Yeah, but anytime you see her walk in this movie as Catwoman so suddenly she becomes like a Victoria's Secrets like yeah

[19:22] Victoria's Secrets was that

[19:25] Victoria's Secret

[19:27] Walking a catwalk literally every time she walks. Oh, I get it

[19:33] Yeah, also, I mean for struggling like she's she's supposed to be the loser right the quintessential loser

[19:39] Common is huge. Her apartment has a studio in her apartment is it has an air conditioner. We talked about that

[19:47] There's there's when she comes back from the dead. She's covered in mud and she

[19:52] Jumps up instead of going in through the front door like a cat

[19:56] she jumps up a full story and breaks on window breaks her own window just

[20:00] like a cat would

[20:01] and then uh... flash for the next morning where she's sleeping on a shelf

[20:05] first off that's a very sturdy show s

[20:07] and she's totally clean and i'm like where's the scene of her cleaning

[20:11] yourself with our time

[20:14] what is that

[20:15] no i mean it's yeah it's kind of gross i mean i think that

[20:19] don't want them

[20:20] no i think that's what you would like you wanted to turn into sort of an

[20:23] erotic

[20:24] no come on dude like a cat i don't find cats that erotic

[20:30] you're bad erotic

[20:31] yeah i left the door open a little

[20:33] uh...

[20:36] uh...

[20:38] nothing sexier than a good garfield strip

[20:42] uh... so

[20:43] she goes to uh... she takes she goes to work she lose her job because like a cat

[20:48] she's mean to her boss

[20:50] but no she's not even completely mean she has that weird switching back and

[20:53] forth

[20:54] she's she's she at one point she's like

[20:57] meek and then she gets aggressive and then she immediately apologizes for it

[21:01] which is actually kind of like a cat

[21:04] she and she also is interested uh... she finds that magic cat again and opens up

[21:10] the charm box on its necklace and uh... that's what they call those things on a

[21:14] cat's neck

[21:15] uh... and it's got a intricately folded piece of paper with an address like you'd

[21:19] expect

[21:20] she follows that to a crazy library about cat myths owned by francis conroy

[21:26] how am i doing dan am i covering this ok

[21:29] uh... and then francis conroy is kind of weird and then she throws what catnip in

[21:34] halle berry's face and that's the moment when i'm like aww i'm so sorry halle berry

[21:40] you gotta roll this catnip ball on your face for like a minute

[21:46] uh... yeah so

[21:48] she won an academy award dan

[21:50] i know yeah

[21:52] yeah she throws the ball of catnip and she rolls it on her face and starts smelling

[21:56] her hands

[21:57] because apparently

[21:59] cat powers come with all the downsides of being a cat

[22:03] that was the point when i'm like

[22:05] i don't think this is going to be a serious take on this character

[22:10] yeah she starts shedding all over the place all of a sudden

[22:13] starts being a dick to the owner

[22:16] uh...

[22:17] so

[22:19] i would love

[22:20] like there's a deleted scene where she just gets distracted by some string in

[22:23] the middle of a conversation

[22:24] that's basically what was almost was happening i mean i don't want to jump

[22:27] ahead to it yeah she's like you're well and she's also like

[22:30] you're getting too close to the the heart of this mythology i'm gonna throw catnip in

[22:33] your face to distract you yeah francis conroy pushes halle berry off of a

[22:39] balcony basically and she like lands on all of them because her balcony has like

[22:42] like a swinging door like a saloon door into nothingness

[22:48] in case she ever wants to jump down yeah and they really hammer home that

[22:52] we get it she's like she's got cat characteristics the whole movie they keep

[22:56] hammering that

[22:58] from the

[22:58] one point she's eating cat food by the tin

[23:01] yeah and she says i'm just having a little snack like fuck off dude

[23:05] yeah what a weird way

[23:08] i can't help but feel that's tied to this being like a

[23:11] man trying to make a female hero and making her have to have the powers of

[23:15] like the actual animal yeah it's like batman having to

[23:18] swoop down and eat worms at night or something it's well well yeah batman's

[23:22] like walking around like i can't see anything let me yell at it for a second

[23:31] no wall here

[23:34] yeah no on the note of i wanted to say say this later but on the note of no no

[23:39] you just brought it up on the note of they making a superhero movie from women

[23:43] like what is more insulting within like the studio heads being like all right we

[23:48] gotta make a superhero movie for women what could the macguffin be what could

[23:52] this all be about i know cosmetics yep like that's all they care about right

[23:57] like that's the highest stakes possible yeah let's make the villain this uh

[24:02] makeup uh magnate yeah so she discovers that not only does she have these powers

[24:10] but she's going to use them to go steal a

[24:12] necklace that she saw so she goes running out into the night

[24:15] oh no no she she that part she she first she beats up the noisy neighbors

[24:22] she beats up the noisy neighbors who for some reason have a bar

[24:26] in an apartment a full-fledged bar with with the neon light and everything

[24:31] right and then for some reason they're bikers as well in this month it's just a cool party dude

[24:36] come on it's a second floor apartment where they carried kegs all the way up and have been

[24:41] installed i don't know like professional grade speaker equipment oh yeah then they have like

[24:46] uh they have a seltzer sprayer in this apartment i'm pretty sure that was a beer keg dan that

[24:51] wasn't i don't want to you know hurt your virgin ears here i'm sorry then they sprayed it straight

[24:57] into the speakers and then the bikers got got angry and then she would bike us up and then she

[25:04] go and then after after she's been complaining about how she can't sleep because of this party

[25:10] she immediately decides to go out and have a party as in she doesn't go home and sleep after

[25:14] she destroys the party she goes home and pulls out the leather outfit which for some reason

[25:20] yep she does her hair and she steals the the her neighbor's motorcycle and then we get a great scene

[25:26] of her riding around the town in super fast motion where in some scenes she's wearing a helmet

[25:32] in other scenes no helmet at all where'd it go yep yeah she goes to a jewelry store where she

[25:38] had seen this beautiful piece of jewelry before yeah and it just happens to be uh being robbed

[25:44] at the very same time yep so it makes sense to me she does the obvious thing which is she puts on a

[25:49] mask uh that's like a domino mask in the it's like a jeweled mask but it's like what i said

[25:56] woman mask yep uh and she fights crime all of a sudden like she like fights these uh thieves off

[26:03] which is a weird place for her to go like after everything that's happened to her like it's i

[26:08] don't feel like the next logical step is like oh i'm a cat woman i'm going through all these changes

[26:13] i'm gonna fight these burglars yeah my body's changing

[26:19] i just don't know what the like there's no logical progression in the screenplay at that point

[26:24] where she goes from like being kind of like freaked out but into this new power that she

[26:30] has to like i gotta whip these guys yeah literally yeah that that are you you are saying there is like

[26:40] kind of a plot hole in this movie yeah so that's that's our exciting sequence of her like running

[26:47] around and that's i mean that's where you see that the director like the director has almost

[26:53] exclusively a background in visual effects yes and that is petoff oh yeah yeah yeah it's uh it's

[27:00] a one-word name yeah which is always a good sign for when you're watching a movie go to it he's

[27:05] like a rihanna or uh i don't know beyonce or madonna yeah all those famous directors

[27:15] and anytime anytime like that there's something cool happen well anytime they're trying to convey

[27:21] coolness in this movie okay good save you save yourself they they play like the weirdest music

[27:28] that like at one point she's playing one-on-one basketball with benjamin

[27:37] before the basketball scene before that it's still in the burglary in the burglary they're

[27:41] playing like weird 90s i'm yeah it's 2004 i don't know why they're playing 90s music

[27:48] in and it's the director's french that's why oh yeah they had just gotten that music there

[27:54] it's never remixed it always sounds like someone just press play on the ipod and then press stop

[27:59] like when the action stops and then during the so yes there's a basketball match and there's a

[28:05] whole lot of record scratches so you know they're doing basketball good yeah the way that uh she

[28:11] patients flirts with benjamin brad is they do a one-on-one basketball uh matchup guys let's do

[28:19] this thing justice first she goes because she stood her up because she died so she stood she

[28:25] should die at the date because she accidentally died and she couldn't make it so she didn't make

[28:31] it to the 1 p.m coffee date and benjamin brad's a bit upset like yo well i'm here but i gotta go

[28:36] to work so i you know the next time i flake on something i'm gonna use that excuse i mean i'm

[28:40] sorry i died i died last night some cats brought me back yeah i don't know what happened so yeah

[28:45] benjamin brad is like yo i'm waiting here you're not here but i gotta go to work so peace out and

[28:50] you know the only acceptable excuse is this and so she he goes and then she feels guilty so she

[28:57] looks for him at at this elementary school which he's giving a motivational speech to for some

[29:02] reason telling kids to be good and then he goes like okay let's go play some basketball and they

[29:07] all go play basketball and that's when this awesome scene happens so please i mean i mean it's your

[29:13] traditional uh basketball flirting with a lot of butt bumping and uh at first you know they

[29:20] challenge each other to a basketball match they're both wearing leather jackets so you're like you

[29:25] can't play in that that's crazy and uh yeah so patience grabs the ball bounced it a couple times

[29:31] jumps off the wall and everyone's like whoa that's a parkour basketball yep uh fast forward to

[29:39] patience doing a really good dunk using her cat vision and then she lands on top of him

[29:43] and the best line delivery in the movie is when the kid goes up to them and says can i have my

[29:49] ball back are you guys done with your pre-fucking rituals

[29:56] it's so weird and oh you also forgot to mention they play uh

[30:00] scandalous

[30:01] during that

[30:02] uh... was it by wasn't

[30:04] i don't know

[30:05] but i mean

[30:06] so scandalous

[30:09] i've met many a many other nightclub we don't have the rights to that song

[30:12] oh we can't sing it

[30:14] but if you hum it dan can shazam it with his phone that he's staring at

[30:18] that's right

[30:19] yeah so they start flirting kids are around they're like bumping asses she steals a bunch of stuff

[30:24] she gives it back in a bag that says sorry

[30:27] uh... what he's one thing he's one thing of course he's he's not as burglars

[30:31] that's one thing is worth stopping burglars accents

[30:34] they should keep the rain and she keeps the necklace that you keep

[30:36] the necklace all

[30:37] i was in a necklace attention that part okay

[30:40] uh... the necklace as well i can remember

[30:43] i think that necklace

[30:44] uh... was came from egypt

[30:46] uh... that makes sense just like the cat just like the cat mummies and all that

[30:50] ties in because it's a well-written story

[30:54] it loops all the way to the front where we

[30:56] how's your email doing dan? so patience does

[31:00] i'm reading my notes patience does a bunch of detective work

[31:04] and uh... she gets accused of murder

[31:08] because a scientist got murdered

[31:10] yeah so at this point she has made herself a catwoman suit

[31:15] and we get as you said it's a superhero movie made for women i guess right

[31:20] yeah so we get a scene where the camera circles around very slowly around

[31:24] halle berry's body as she walks

[31:26] uh... and it's super weird and then we cut to about five minutes of

[31:31] a computer-generated halle berry sliding all over the roofs of gotham city is it

[31:36] gotham? no they never mention it yeah i don't think they go that far like

[31:40] this is a weird it's weird right to take a property that everyone knows

[31:44] and then just be like

[31:46] nope

[31:46] you know

[31:50] tell me stewart what was the thinking behind this i don't know you greenlit this film right

[31:55] i did

[31:56] see i thought it was going to be a fun romp and it would tie in nicely with

[32:00] batman begins

[32:02] which came out probably around the same time right

[32:04] uh... one year later yeah one year later it came out one year after

[32:09] and batman begins didn't have any of that cool music

[32:14] there was the one link to batman in dc universe at all was when

[32:20] uh... the catwoman

[32:21] francis conway throws a bunch of pictures of catwomen like literally throws it in the air

[32:26] like look at this shit

[32:29] look at all these catwomen who's existed throughout history and she throws it and it flutters down

[32:33] after she pushes it off the balcony

[32:35] so she throws a handful of pictures at her yeah and one of the pictures is of michelle

[32:39] pfeiffer's catwoman

[32:41] oh

[32:43] it's right there in the middle of the frame it's like this is what we were trying to do

[32:47] so instead it's called an easter egg guys

[32:51] so i don't know if that means

[32:52] they're in the same universe or

[32:54] in this catwoman movie they have

[32:57] batman returns in them i don't know what yeah yeah yeah

[33:01] that's a screenshot of the movie batman returns that exists in this world in this

[33:05] world right it's not michael keen it's uh...

[33:09] sylvester stallone playing batman sylvester stallone in this universe okay what an interesting

[33:14] choice

[33:17] yeah i'm batman

[33:18] oh don't even try it i can't do it

[33:21] elliot's not here don't even try it

[33:23] uh... so

[33:24] yeah like catwoman was accused of murder she's uh... locked up

[33:28] for a while

[33:29] uh... but

[33:30] uh... so

[33:32] i've lost the thread a little bit here okay so after the scientist is killed

[33:37] she visits alex borenstein in the hospital and she sees a news story where

[33:42] the head of the company says

[33:44] even though the head scientist was murdered

[33:47] we're still going to release this this beauty product which is crazy dude

[33:52] how often do you see like a news story about a beauty product

[33:56] yeah maybe it's taxi tv

[34:01] i think

[34:04] i don't know

[34:05] so uh... we are so we're assuming that this guy's a bad guy whoops no uh...

[34:10] sharon stone tricks

[34:11] uh... catwoman into showing up at her mansion

[34:14] only to find out that her husband the head of the company has been killed

[34:18] with a bunch of scratches on him because sharon stone killed him to make it look

[34:21] like catwoman did it

[34:22] she explains her whole plan

[34:24] she throws a gun to catwoman who's wearing gloves and then she starts

[34:27] crying and then a shitload of cops show up

[34:29] like what the fuck was going on dude did she have them like hidden in a closet

[34:33] somewhere and she's like

[34:35] uh... my husband's meeting with catwoman uh... i think they'll be done in a

[34:39] minute and then just come in when i start crying it's like chris hansen to catch a

[34:43] catwoman yeah

[34:46] sit down

[34:46] what are you doing there

[34:49] killing her husband

[34:50] let's talk about this

[34:52] she's like no i just followed this ball of string here

[34:56] is that some catnip you got some catnip

[34:58] yeah so sharon stone's like bake em away toys and they take her away

[35:04] how long were you working on that bake em away toys bit

[35:07] it's a septon's reference it's not even mine

[35:09] that's the real tragedy of it

[35:11] that's the real tragedy of today wait now i'm confused as well because doesn't she try to

[35:15] she tries to kill

[35:17] her ex-boss

[35:18] first right at the opera

[35:20] with the swinging people

[35:22] and then uh... she confronts him at an opera

[35:25] then the security shows up with guns she runs across the stage the opera

[35:30] continues these performers are no fucking joke dude

[35:33] no one stops a catwoman is climbing up the set and running around and they're

[35:38] like shows gotta go on

[35:40] so she gets in uh... like a like a love fight with benjamin bratt in the

[35:46] what in the rafters i don't know what that shit's called behind the stage dan you're the theater dude

[35:50] and the

[35:51] yeah the rafters

[35:52] i did it

[35:53] yeah

[35:55] so she gets in a fight with benjamin bratt in the rafters she gives him a big

[35:58] little smooch-a-rooney on his cheek and then she escapes after uh... what like

[36:03] shorting out the entire theater and i can only assume those performers kept going

[36:07] yeah she takes a live

[36:12] electrical cable and like

[36:13] puts it to the

[36:15] circuit board which is exactly the way you wanna

[36:18] play with electricity by the way

[36:20] and at that point i'm like

[36:21] you know

[36:22] benjamin bratt's character was into patience phillips but now him and catwoman

[36:26] i think i'm seeing sparks

[36:28] you're welcome

[36:30] i don't even get that joke

[36:31] likes like there's there's uh...

[36:33] that there's like an attraction there ok

[36:36] ok so that

[36:38] it was get out of here dude there's no extra level to it that i've missed

[36:43] no it was as base as you

[36:44] first thought it was yeah

[36:45] uh... now i gotta make a little bit of a confession here stewart

[36:49] okay guys uh... turn the lights down everybody

[36:53] uh... i hate to do this in front of an audience

[36:56] that is halfway made up of people who have never listened to the show before

[37:00] sure okay because i feel like it

[37:02] it's max of total unprofessionalism what i'm about to admit

[37:06] uh...

[37:08] i started dozing off in the second half of this movie

[37:13] i don't know what happened to him i was in and out of consciousness

[37:17] get out of here for real or you lucked out with my friend

[37:20] you know you have

[37:22] uh... fall asleep

[37:24] let's say many of the movies we've watched for our podcast that you do as a

[37:28] professional podcaster yeah

[37:30] uh...

[37:31] yes so did you have

[37:33] are you just thinking that the rest of the movie was a dream

[37:37] i mean it has the quality of a fever dream but i did see i can't get what can

[37:42] we skip to the end i mean i feel like we're moving we can easily skip to the

[37:46] end and we get a showdown between sharon stone

[37:51] it's been revealed that

[37:53] what happens with this cosmetic thing is

[37:55] if you stop using it you get the big scars

[37:57] but if you keep using it your skin becomes super hard like diamonds

[38:03] like living marble is that what they say that's what she says while battling

[38:09] so i guess she's like i mean i

[38:12] i want to know what her like superhero name would be like

[38:17] cream girl

[38:19] like

[38:21] what

[38:24] like this person who got her powers

[38:26] through like the use of like a beauty cream oh beauty cream that's why you

[38:30] called her that

[38:32] no it was not some sort of like

[38:34] just keep going

[38:37] i don't i don't really have anything else

[38:40] okay so cream girl is your only best professional writer dan mccoy

[38:46] blue sky in it

[38:47] comes up with cream girl i was hoping that we were going to start a big

[38:51] brainstorming sesh okay like marble lady

[38:56] and also when the police first hear of catwoman

[39:01] you hear some guys in the background saying

[39:03] what are we going to call her cat babe cat chick

[39:07] get the fuck out of here dude

[39:10] like you're reaching it oh i thought you were going to say what they actually said

[39:14] nah let's call her cat broad

[39:17] that's what happens in the movies give each other high five and then they start a

[39:21] podcast called the flop ass

[39:24] uh... yeah so they go on a big fight

[39:27] uh... catwoman has one of those things that happens in movies where

[39:31] she's like on the ropes it looks like she's

[39:33] almost certainly gonna die and she just magically like through the force of will

[39:37] she's like

[39:38] you know what

[39:39] i'm gonna win this fight

[39:41] and so she like beats the crap out of it she says some kind of phrase that i think was

[39:46] intended to be really cool ronnie

[39:48] i think you're dying to say it no you go ahead i don't even remember it

[39:51] it was uh... sharon stone goes

[39:54] so sharon stone has a

[39:56] on the window she's hanging out of a window glassless window

[40:00] which i was told what they've delivered a final blow and she says game over

[40:04] and how it very says

[40:06] over time

[40:07] and she comes back

[40:11] amazing

[40:13] and then at this point he's a little bit flock out of charlestown she then

[40:17] beats up sharon stone because she's so shocked at what an awesome line

[40:22] very quickly and kicks her out a window and she does the end of that story

[40:27] uh... yeah sure

[40:29] and catwoman tries to save her

[40:32] does the hero thing

[40:35] give me your hand and then sharon stone sees her reflection

[40:38] she's like i'm old and i gotta die

[40:40] which is an allegory for women in hollywood

[40:44] and uh... at the end uh... benjamin brad is left alone catwoman sends him a message

[40:49] being like i can't date you anymore

[40:52] because i'm a catwoman

[40:54] i only date cats now

[40:57] if you know any cat men please introduce me

[41:00] otherwise um...

[41:02] my cat parents are like can't you date a nice cat man

[41:07] but he's really good at basketball

[41:10] and the cat's a doctor

[41:13] she goes off i guess to fight crime i don't know it's ambiguous it's ambiguous

[41:17] what she's going to do in her new life no one knows what the fuck she's going to do at this point

[41:20] sometimes i'm good sometimes i'm bad deal with it

[41:23] if you don't love me at my worst

[41:27] then you don't deserve me at my best and then i'm going to go take this whip and swing around

[41:32] uh... whatever city nameless city i'm in because we don't have the rights to call it

[41:36] gotham

[41:38] new york is too cliche

[41:40] and the movie ends with like another montage of her a cgi catwoman just

[41:45] sliding around on rooftops which is i guess what they thought the best part of

[41:49] the movie was i don't know

[41:51] and this movie won the academy award that year oh no kidding oh wow

[41:54] this movie famously

[41:56] halle berry won the razzie for worst actress and she went and accepted it

[42:01] and then said something about the movie being shitty but that's pretty cool of her

[42:05] yeah and she goes for it

[42:07] yeah but

[42:09] also i wonder what she saw in the script

[42:13] i think a bunch of money was in the script ronnie really the script was

[42:17] rolled up and there's a bunch of money stuffed in there that's how it works in

[42:20] hollywood i hear

[42:22] yeah i don't know i guess

[42:24] i don't know what she saw in the because i think there was problems even during

[42:28] filming

[42:29] they had to

[42:29] stop and then

[42:31] restart it and film additional scenes because it wasn't working and they tested it

[42:34] i think they showed the trailer

[42:36] everyone hated it so much they re-cut the trailer without any dialogue

[42:40] just to make it yeah

[42:42] and that's not a good sign when you have to cut out all the words to make something

[42:48] barely acceptable it's like let's just have no one talk and maybe if they see enough of a

[42:52] ass swinging around we'll sell enough tickets that we can make

[42:55] oh and then village roadshow i know this because i have amazon x-ray

[42:59] uh... village roadshow had to sell

[43:01] freaking their shares in in in australian advertising company just to

[43:06] show a profit for that year that's how much this

[43:08] this movie affected markets

[43:11] yeah

[43:11] in a bad way

[43:13] uh... so this is the point of the podcast where we

[43:16] do our final judgments on the movie

[43:19] alright ronnie this is new to you

[43:22] we decide whether this is a good bad movie

[43:24] a movie that's fun to watch because it's bad

[43:27] a bad bad movie a movie that's just bad

[43:30] or a movie we kind of liked a movie that we actually thought had some sort of redeeming

[43:33] quality well that's a tough one do you want to start with me? which category

[43:38] does it fall into?

[43:40] you spent five minutes thinking that one

[43:43] that's the end of the podcast alright you shut down

[43:45] you shut down the hear this festival with that one

[43:48] for the listeners at home stewart was so proud of himself he's now wandering around the stage

[43:53] patting himself on the back

[43:55] guys i would like to suggest that this movie isn't a complete

[43:59] aptastrophe

[44:02] deal with it guys

[44:05] i think this movie is a good bad movie i think it is super dumb it's filled with

[44:11] a ton of bad puns

[44:13] if you are going to sit down with a bunch of friends and you're like i want to watch a dumb piece of shit and laugh at how bad it is

[44:18] this is the perfect kind of movie i think you said that wrong i believe it was

[44:22] purrrfect

[44:23] thank you dan

[44:26] see i missed it

[44:27] yo she says that in the movie

[44:30] i know when she's beating up the burglars she goes

[44:33] this is purrrfect and then she beats the fuck out of them

[44:38] there's a moment when she's fighting the lead henchman

[44:41] who weirdly enough played the lead henchman or one of the henchmen in the movie

[44:45] the crow

[44:46] another movie about a poor guy who gets killed and then comes back as a magical animal

[44:51] right yeah i think that guy's typecast

[44:53] so she's beating that dude up and like he sticks his like she grabs his tongue

[44:58] and like the first thing is like

[45:00] she's a cat woman dude keep your mouth closed

[45:03] she's dying to say that fucking stupid joke and of course she says

[45:07] cat got your tongue and he's like yeah totally but he couldn't say it

[45:11] uh... oof

[45:12] i agree with stewart i think on the basis of the basketball scene alone

[45:17] this would be a good bad movie you know like the idea that

[45:20] in a cat woman movie

[45:23] there's a

[45:25] four minute long sequence where like

[45:27] where two people flirt

[45:28] using super cat powers to play basketball

[45:32] is astounding

[45:34] and i think that that's the spirit that the whole movie has it just it

[45:39] makes the weirdest choices i already mentioned about how like

[45:42] like you were saying the stakes of the movie are

[45:45] oh there's like weird

[45:46] cosmetics going around

[45:48] that could scar you i guess

[45:50] at the end

[45:52] we need someone with the powers of a cat to get to the bottom of this

[45:55] uh... so that's what i said yeah i agree i was going to go bad bad but then

[46:00] again that

[46:01] we swayed my impassioned plea swayed you

[46:05] no that basketball scene

[46:06] turned it for me because when i saw that basketball scene i was like oh my god this is

[46:10] i would show this to a friend now

[46:11] and that makes it a good bad movie you gotta see this

[46:14] you gotta see this like please come over to my home someday and i'll show you the

[46:18] basketball scene from cat woman

[46:20] ronnie invites someone into the house and just silently

[46:24] turns the lights off and locks the door behind him

[46:28] i was on a plane when i watched it so i had no escape

[46:31] but yeah this place yeah it was it was

[46:33] i don't know i mean i'm trying to figure out if there's a bigger message in this whole

[46:36] thing

[46:37] uh...

[46:39] i mean i'm i actually i'm uh... for us something we can learn from it

[46:43] yeah i mean i i've been talking for years about how uh... sixty percent of cats

[46:47] globally have toxoplasmosis which is a brain parasite

[46:51] and and yeah sixty percent of cats it transfers to humans very easily it's a

[46:54] correlation between

[46:56] uh... having toxoplasmosis and increased risk-taking in women

[46:59] uh... and

[47:01] as as well as uh... if you're pregnant apparently you're more likely to give birth to

[47:05] men who knows alright but

[47:07] but uh... i was wondering why this whole thing was just a result of a brain

[47:12] parasite

[47:16] from a cat and so that first cat we see in the movie gave halle berry a brain

[47:20] parasite she hallucinates the whole thing

[47:23] that makes sense yeah

[47:30] unless you wish you could trade in your own family for the piercings inside pop

[47:34] is definitely not for you

[47:35] sean that's a little extreme and also not quite true

[47:38] okay amita how about inside pop is the podcast for people who love and

[47:42] appreciate the best pop culture has to offer

[47:44] uh... much better

[47:46] in every episode we interview the people who create the culture you crave

[47:49] past interviews include the production designer for fargo and tony decrae from

[47:53] the dreamworks story department you'll also get the very best pop culture

[47:56] recommendations in our big sell segment plus the opinions of two tv producers

[48:00] who are pop culture obsessives and actually do you wish sterling k brown

[48:03] was our cousin

[48:04] kissing cousins that is

[48:06] listen to inside pop every other wednesday on the maximum fun podcast

[48:10] network

[48:18] uh...

[48:20] there's nothing quite like sailing in the calm international waters

[48:23] on my ship

[48:24] yes that's why i think

[48:28] it's actually pronounced

[48:30] bio pic

[48:31] no you're doing this

[48:33] it's by our

[48:34] says that it's bio pic

[48:37] because it's a little bit of a lot of the

[48:41] all right that is enough

[48:42] ahoy i'm dave holmes i'm the host of the newly rebooted podcast

[48:47] formally known as international waters

[48:49] designed to resolve petty but persistent arguments like this

[48:53] by pitting two teams of opinionated comedians against each other

[48:57] with trivia and improv games of course winner takes home the right to be rights

[49:01] what podcast be this

[49:03] called troubled waters

[49:05] where we disagree to disagree

[49:08] all right

[49:09] it's a live show that means a solo ad read for me

[49:13] and here's a little peek behind the curtain

[49:15] in case you uh...

[49:17] are downloading this late

[49:18] this is a replacement so ad read i originally posted this episode

[49:23] with totally inaudible ad stuff for seven minutes

[49:28] great you know why

[49:30] because the sound bar on the

[49:33] this is the style thingy the levels thingy

[49:37] on my digital recorder

[49:40] was down at three

[49:42] for some reason

[49:43] and i

[49:45] like a real professional

[49:46] did not listen when i slotted it in

[49:50] anyway i hope that our sponsors appreciate

[49:54] everything we do for them

[49:57] uh...

[49:58] look i'm sorry i'm sorry

[50:00] If people download this and don't get their stuff, I don't know how best to do it.

[50:05] I'm trying to make it up right now.

[50:08] Let's hope that you didn't download this originally.

[50:12] The Flophouse, oh boy, is supported in part by Squarespace.

[50:20] With Squarespace, you can create a beautiful website to turn your cool idea into a new

[50:24] website.

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[50:34] You can sell products and services of all kinds and more.

[50:38] And as we discussed before, and more pretty much encompasses anything.

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[51:18] your first purchase of a website or domain.

[51:21] Am I fucking around less than normal?

[51:24] Yes.

[51:25] I apologize.

[51:26] Oh, brother, if you had heard the other ad read, it was terrible.

[51:32] It was the worst ever, but it went on for a long time.

[51:35] So if you like that terrible ad read content dragging on and on, I'm sorry that you missed

[51:42] it.

[51:43] Hey, guys, Jumbotrons, we all love them, especially the people who get them.

[51:49] And again, I hope that they get these Jumbotrons.

[51:54] Who is this message for?

[51:55] It is for Jay.

[51:56] It is from Laura.

[51:58] Happy birthday, Jay.

[51:59] This is the 11th of your 32 birthdays we've spent together, and I'm looking forward to

[52:05] so many more.

[52:07] Let's celebrate by watching a good, bad movie and eating cupcakes, yeah?

[52:11] We can even fit in some skipping down the street.

[52:13] I love you, and I love listening to podcasts with you.

[52:16] From one real pile of cats to another, row, row, I apologize to Stuart for using his

[52:23] intellectual property.

[52:26] I will be paying him what it's worth.

[52:30] This next message is for Armand, and it's from Emily.

[52:35] Armand, consider this down payment on attendance at a future live taping.

[52:40] Hopefully the Flophouse crew will do something before...

[52:43] I did this the last time, too.

[52:46] Before it's capitalized...

[52:47] Guys, this is really important for you to understand.

[52:50] Before it's capitalized in the next line.

[52:53] And so when I get to the point in the line above where I should be saying a word that's

[52:57] not before, my dumb brain says, hey, that capitalized word seems important.

[53:03] I should probably say that now.

[53:05] So it gets all jumbled up.

[53:07] Let's start again from the top.

[53:09] Armand, consider this down payment on attendance at a future live taping.

[53:13] Hopefully the Flophouse crew will do something in Los Angeles soon.

[53:17] If only I had known of Elliot Kalen vs. Felicia Day at Angel City Brewery before it happened.

[53:25] But not to worry, I'm now following everyone on Twitter.

[53:29] All that's to say, happy birthday and I love you.

[53:33] Jesus God, let these messages get to the people who paid for them.

[53:38] If not, I'm sure we can do something to make it up to you.

[53:43] Contact people and complain.

[53:46] I apologize.

[53:47] All right, let's just get back to the live episode.

[53:54] So on that note, we're going to move on to the next segment, which is we've got about

[53:59] 13, 15 minutes if anyone has questions or if you don't have questions, we have a letter

[54:06] we could read.

[54:07] But usually we take audience questions at live shows if anyone has them, but we don't

[54:11] have to.

[54:12] Don't feel obligated.

[54:14] If you're dying to come up and ask us a question about movies, please do get in line up by

[54:18] this microphone.

[54:19] But before you do that, I'm going to read us a little letter from a listener.

[54:23] Dear Dan and Stu, I've written into your podcast before, but never with the anger I'm feeling

[54:30] now.

[54:31] Oh dear.

[54:32] You all bring something unique to this podcast, but Elliot has always been the heart and soul

[54:36] of the Enterprise.

[54:38] This was true even from the beginning when he wasn't even on the show.

[54:44] And yet now I see that you have the temerity to replace him so casually and callously with

[54:51] Ronnie Chang, who I assume doesn't even have the decency to interrupt you both regularly

[54:56] and without mercy.

[55:00] Well this will not stand.

[55:01] The next time you make a live appearance, you better have Elliot Kaelin with you.

[55:06] And you better apologize to him profusely.

[55:09] I have one question for you.

[55:12] What's your favorite thing about Elliot?

[55:15] Signed Elliot last name with help.

[55:20] Even though I could see that punchline coming down the road, I still delighted in it when

[55:24] it arrived.

[55:25] I didn't see it.

[55:26] I didn't see it.

[55:27] I thought someone actually wrote that.

[55:28] Yeah.

[55:29] I thought someone actually wrote that in.

[55:30] I was like, oh, they're angry at me already?

[55:31] I haven't even been on the podcast yet.

[55:32] What's my favorite thing about Elliot?

[55:39] My favorite thing is that he trusted me pronouncing the word temerity correctly.

[55:46] My favorite thing about him is that he gave the letter to you to read so I didn't have

[55:50] to stumble over the words.

[55:53] I like his glasses.

[55:54] Oh that's, they're very handsome.

[55:58] And there's also a second letter, Dear Dan, I love you.

[56:02] I want to go to Brooklyn sometime and see you.

[56:05] From Sammy Lincoln, last name with help.

[56:07] That's Elliot's boy, young boy.

[56:11] It says here, this is going to make Dan cry and it didn't.

[56:14] So fuck that guy.

[56:18] So if anyone doesn't have a question, I mean, we could just.

[56:25] Give him a chance.

[56:26] Give him a chance.

[56:27] There might be someone, anybody have one question?

[56:28] Yeah, there we go.

[56:29] Thank you.

[56:30] Hi.

[56:31] Hello.

[56:32] Hello.

[56:33] I have a question.

[56:34] What's your name?

[56:35] Oh, sorry.

[56:36] My name is Elizabeth.

[56:37] Where are you from, Elizabeth?

[56:38] Here, in New York.

[56:39] Oh, from New York?

[56:40] Yes.

[56:41] What's your favorite?

[56:42] Ronnie's just used to doing crowd work.

[56:43] Crowd work, yeah.

[56:44] What's your name?

[56:45] Where are you from?

[56:46] That place sucks.

[56:47] That's crowd work.

[56:48] So lately, the website Rotten Tomatoes has gotten a lot of press because there's many

[57:04] people in Hollywood, particularly directors, who do not like the fact that publishing the

[57:13] reviews of a movie ahead of time, it seems to sort of sway people in terms of opening

[57:18] week in box office.

[57:20] And a lot of people do use Rotten Tomatoes now to sort of gauge is it going to be a good

[57:25] movie or not?

[57:26] Do I really want to go see it?

[57:30] And since many of the movies that you review on the Flophouse are critical flops, but then

[57:37] are actually very successful in the box office, I was wondering if you knew of any sort of

[57:44] common themes to those sort of movies, like something that maybe you tend to take out

[57:50] as enjoyment from them, these movies that maybe the critics do give 15% rotten score,

[57:58] but then they end up being a huge box office success.

[58:02] Are you asking if we've sat down in a dungeon somewhere with a bunch of computer screens

[58:07] and we're like piecing things together with red string trying to find the relationship?

[58:12] Because yes.

[58:13] Yes, we've totally done that.

[58:15] Interestingly, the Catwoman movie had shitty Rotten Tomatoes score, awesome Amazon score.

[58:21] Amazon score is like 4.5 out of 5.

[58:25] That was 4.5 out of 5?

[58:27] Yeah.

[58:28] I thought that was out of 10.

[58:29] That's crazy.

[58:30] Yeah.

[58:31] The Amazon score.

[58:32] Sorry, but let me interrupt the question.

[58:34] You didn't interrupt, you're answering the question here.

[58:37] So it's tough to say, I feel like a lot of directors love to say that they make movies

[58:43] for the fans, not the critics, but I feel like for most of the time it's these big movies

[58:52] made by committee, by these huge studios who have so much money banking on something that

[58:58] of course it's going to fucking fail, because so many people are involved and everybody's

[59:03] so nervous about offending anybody, well by anybody I mean usually just white guys,

[59:09] that they turn out some kind of piece of shit that just doesn't have any, like doesn't make

[59:14] any kind of a message or stand or anything and just looks like something else or is in

[59:18] fact just a remake of something else.

[59:22] We're talking about the common threads between movies that are financially successful but

[59:27] critically flopped?

[59:28] Is that what it was?

[59:29] I didn't quite follow.

[59:32] A huge advertising budget.

[59:35] That's true, right?

[59:37] Yeah, like even...

[59:38] Like Mordecai.

[59:39] Yeah, like Mordecai.

[59:41] It made all the money.

[59:42] They're like, they looked at the poster and like, that guy has a mustache, that's hilarious.

[59:47] So they went.

[59:49] They all went.

[59:50] Remember when Mordecai Fever swept the nation, guys?

[59:54] That probably didn't answer the question, but we have to move on.

[1:00:00] Mike, I'm from D.C., saw you too, not you Ronnie,

[1:00:03] but we were at the Pan Show.

[1:00:07] Oh, great.

[1:00:07] The Pan Show, the lost episode that never got released.

[1:00:11] People can listen to it as recorded

[1:00:13] by somebody's phone in the audience.

[1:00:14] That's true.

[1:00:15] It's not lost.

[1:00:16] But for Catwoman, my favorite scene

[1:00:19] was in the restaurant when she's eating sushi.

[1:00:23] I was really impressed by...

[1:00:27] That's the scene where she's just stuffing

[1:00:29] chunks of sushi in her mouth, like a cat would, everybody.

[1:00:33] But my question is...

[1:00:34] It's not using chopsticks,

[1:00:36] which is offensive to me for obvious reasons.

[1:00:39] She's just taking the fish off the rice

[1:00:41] and just putting them up.

[1:00:42] Yeah, I know that scene.

[1:00:43] So fast.

[1:00:44] Yeah.

[1:00:45] But my question is, the neighbors,

[1:00:47] after she destroys the party, steals the motorcycle,

[1:00:50] there's no ramifications, they don't call the cops,

[1:00:53] and nothing happens, and Jennifer and Pat

[1:00:55] is just continuing to go along

[1:00:57] and doesn't know about any of the...

[1:00:59] Yeah, because the biker dudes, they can't go to the law.

[1:01:03] I would have loved if they had reported it.

[1:01:05] And there was a scene where Benjamin Pratt's

[1:01:06] like figuring that out.

[1:01:07] He's like, okay, so the handwriting analysis,

[1:01:10] okay, the lipstick analysis.

[1:01:12] Wait a minute, her neighbors complained

[1:01:14] about a cat-like lady destroying their stuff.

[1:01:19] I like the idea that they have to go through

[1:01:21] a bunch of analysis when they just know

[1:01:23] it's their neighbor.

[1:01:24] They'd be like, oh, it was that lady.

[1:01:27] We see her through the window all the time.

[1:01:29] We just told her to fuck off multiple times.

[1:01:30] Sometimes we cat-call her.

[1:01:36] This movie is for the birds.

[1:01:37] Am I doing it right?

[1:01:42] We have like five minutes left,

[1:01:43] so let's like run through these questions really fast.

[1:01:45] Okay, I'll be really fast,

[1:01:46] because this is from my friend

[1:01:47] since this is my first time hearing the show,

[1:01:49] and it was great.

[1:01:50] I'm sorry.

[1:01:51] She says, in all caps,

[1:01:53] ask them about the Hogsbottom Three.

[1:01:55] Oh, okay, so that's a thing that we do

[1:02:01] on another podcast called The Adventure Zone,

[1:02:04] which is much more popular than this podcast.

[1:02:07] Thank you.

[1:02:09] And tell your friend, maybe, question mark?

[1:02:13] Okay, will do.

[1:02:14] Yeah, they may return, the Hogsbottom Three.

[1:02:16] Wait, wait, I'm not on a good podcast?

[1:02:19] You might, who knows?

[1:02:21] Maybe it'll be the Hogsbottom Four, Ronnie.

[1:02:23] How much, what do you know about Dungeons and Dragons?

[1:02:26] Enough.

[1:02:27] That doesn't sound right.

[1:02:30] I can roll a 20 with the best of them, yeah.

[1:02:35] Yeah, come on, no?

[1:02:36] You can't even fake being a nerd, dude.

[1:02:38] What are you talking about?

[1:02:39] He speaks the lingo.

[1:02:40] Yeah.

[1:02:43] Nicole, I'm from New York.

[1:02:45] I was just wondering, with this movie

[1:02:46] compared to a movie like Wonder Woman,

[1:02:48] and we have this movie that seems to be created

[1:02:50] by 1950s-style ad men about what women like,

[1:02:53] what would be worse for women?

[1:02:55] Like, a superhero that had to solve a case

[1:02:57] of like Kathy in the comics, like, find chocolate.

[1:03:01] Like, is there a worst version of Catwoman?

[1:03:04] Oh, don't answer, this is a trap, by the way.

[1:03:09] The correct answer is we cannot say

[1:03:13] what would be worse for women.

[1:03:14] We have no idea.

[1:03:17] Wow.

[1:03:19] Yes.

[1:03:19] We kind of need you around.

[1:03:21] I went to law school, so let's just save our asses right now.

[1:03:26] I don't want to hear about this on Twitter.

[1:03:27] There is a great scene in Catwoman

[1:03:30] where she visits Alex Bornstein in the hospital,

[1:03:32] and she's like, I brought a snack for you,

[1:03:35] and hands her a giant Hershey bar.

[1:03:38] And Alex Bornstein just like tears into that fucking thing.

[1:03:42] It's just weird.

[1:03:43] Yeah.

[1:03:45] I guess the way that this could be worse

[1:03:46] is if it was Stan Lee's Stripperella.

[1:03:50] Yes.

[1:03:50] What's worse for women?

[1:03:51] I don't know, but just to quickly answer your question,

[1:03:54] seriously, I just made a TV show.

[1:03:56] The worst thing you can do is not be authentic

[1:04:01] to your story.

[1:04:02] I think authenticity resonates with people,

[1:04:05] even if you can't relate to it,

[1:04:06] so when it's coming from an authentic place.

[1:04:08] So I guess the worst way you could mess up a movie

[1:04:12] about women is to not have women write it

[1:04:14] or direct it or whatever.

[1:04:15] Maybe you're gonna have a problem, yeah, I don't know.

[1:04:18] Sorry, was that too serious for this?

[1:04:19] No, it was great.

[1:04:21] We've got one more question.

[1:04:23] We can just fit it in, I think.

[1:04:25] Very quick.

[1:04:26] It's about that scene in Catwoman at the opera

[1:04:28] where the performers are swinging from rope.

[1:04:32] Catwoman ends up on the stage.

[1:04:34] I swear I saw momentarily that she was batting

[1:04:37] at the performers like a cat.

[1:04:39] Did you all see that?

[1:04:41] I might have imagined it.

[1:04:43] Oh, man.

[1:04:44] See, that's the thing.

[1:04:45] That's when you know it's true art.

[1:04:46] There's like so much richness of it

[1:04:48] that you can miss something.

[1:04:52] Layers, Dan, is what you're saying.

[1:04:53] Yeah, yeah.

[1:04:54] That's true.

[1:04:55] When I revisit Catwoman.

[1:04:57] I'll look out for that, yeah.

[1:04:58] But yeah, they definitely fucking,

[1:05:00] halfway through I'm like, we get it.

[1:05:03] She has similarities to cats.

[1:05:06] It's in the title of the film.

[1:05:08] We get it.

[1:05:09] Drinking milk at bars, she's fucking, she's-

[1:05:11] Oh, my God.

[1:05:13] The milk at the bars.

[1:05:15] Oh, God, I don't want to talk about this.

[1:05:16] I want a white Russian without the,

[1:05:18] hold the vodka, hold the Kahlua, and then just cream.

[1:05:22] Yes.

[1:05:23] She drank, I didn't, fuck.

[1:05:28] We could talk about this all day.

[1:05:28] She's a cat, I get it.

[1:05:29] But we probably shouldn't

[1:05:30] because there are other podcasts waiting to come in here.

[1:05:33] But I just want to thank the,

[1:05:35] Now Here This Festival for having us.

[1:05:37] Yeah, thanks so much.

[1:05:38] I want to thank everyone who was here

[1:05:39] at the Javits Center who came out to us

[1:05:41] and I don't know, missed, who charted or whatever.

[1:05:46] So thank you so much.

[1:05:47] Thank Ronny for coming out.

[1:05:48] Thank you, Ronny.

[1:05:49] Thanks for having me.

[1:05:49] Ronny here.

[1:05:50] Thanks for having me.

[1:05:51] Thank you, Delta, for getting me here on time.

[1:05:54] Thank you, New York Taxis for getting me here on time.

[1:05:57] Thank you, University of Arkansas

[1:05:58] for the great gig last night.

[1:06:00] Appreciate it.

[1:06:02] For The Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:06:04] Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:06:06] Oh, I'm Ryan Chang.

[1:06:07] Good night, everyone.

[1:06:08] Thanks.

[1:06:39] Maximumfun.org.

[1:06:41] Comedy and culture.

[1:06:42] Artist owned.

[1:06:43] Listener supported.

Ep.#277 - Catwoman

Transcript

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