Ep. #278 - Oscar Review Special

[0:00] And now for our special Oscar review episode, live from the red carpet in Hollyweird, New York.

[0:09] Hey, what are you guys wearing? I mean, other than a cat.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:41] Oh, hey there, Dan. Coming in right here is Stuart Wellington.

[0:44] And over here on the sidelines, it's Elliot Kalin.

[0:48] Boys, I guess there's no stars in heaven because they're all out here at the Oscars Flophouse Oscar Special 2019.

[0:57] And as we all know, the Oscar special on the Flophouse is a very special night when we do what, Stuart?

[1:04] Well, Dan, look out into that crowd.

[1:07] Everybody's dolled up and you're like, they're here.

[1:09] They must be on a hot date.

[1:10] And they are on a hot date.

[1:12] A hot date with a man called Oscar.

[1:14] That's right.

[1:15] Oscar, the statue from the Academy Awards.

[1:17] He's come to life.

[1:19] He's terrifying because he doesn't have defining facial features.

[1:22] And he's wielding a sword.

[1:24] So it's just like a man with almost no face and no general.

[1:26] Let's just say that.

[1:28] Well, what did you think he was holding?

[1:30] I thought he was holding his stuff.

[1:31] No, it goes all the way down to his feet and has a hilt.

[1:35] I thought that's why people liked him so much and wanted him.

[1:38] Anyway, I'm not actually sure why you're talking about the Academy Awards because on this episode of the podcast, we're reviewing the movie Oscar from 1991.

[1:47] Now, does this have anything to do with the fact that the Oscars were actually last week?

[1:53] We're recording this the day of the Academy Awards, but it will not be released for another week, right?

[1:57] Uh-huh, probably.

[1:59] What's your point?

[2:00] So I guess what I'm saying is—

[2:01] You're pulling back the curtain, the red curtain in the red theater?

[2:04] Let me just give you my Oscar roundup for the actual Academy Awards, keeping in mind this is the morning of the Academy Awards.

[2:11] You okay, Dan?

[2:12] I've had a cough for like two months.

[2:15] Okay, well, make sure to do it on mic.

[2:17] I actually turned away from the microphone.

[2:20] Well, I still heard it really loud.

[2:22] Yeah, Dan, do you have a second mic?

[2:24] Do you have a cough mic under the table?

[2:26] If Elliot hadn't brought attention to it, we all could have lived our lives.

[2:30] Nope, we all would have died because of your cough, because you have the plague.

[2:34] Dan, this is the hardest part of my job as an audio doctor.

[2:38] It sounds like you have the plague.

[2:39] I think you have exactly two hours to live, just enough time to do our Oscar special.

[2:45] Because here's the thing, guys.

[2:46] The Oscars, we're recording this the morning of.

[2:48] The Oscars won't air for a few hours, but here's my awards and review.

[2:51] one best picture went to the wrong movie best actor probably the wrong actor uh best screenplay

[2:58] probably went to the right person and what about all those funny jokes boy were they lame in

[3:03] memoriam they left out a couple people that everybody misses and uh also it was too long

[3:08] guys what's these long oscar telecasts that was eerily prescient or prescient i don't remember

[3:14] how to pronounce it let's go okay so dan we watched we watched a movie oscar right the movie

[3:21] oscar starring sylvester sly stallone and then and what are we going to do with that movie oscar

[3:27] we're going to thanks for clarifying that it's sly stallone and not sylvester from the

[3:31] cracked magazine sylvester the cat uh-huh um yes uh yeah we're watching an even more obscure

[3:41] obscure thing i mean reviewing a cracked magazine i mean i

[3:46] i i i think it's actually kind of appropriate that we're reviewing oscar guys not just because

[3:55] of the name but actually this movie was nominated for a couple awards it was nominated for multiple

[4:00] razzie awards uh yeah including one i do not agree with and we'll get to that yeah i think

[4:05] it's probably the same one that i don't agree with oh weird because normally the razzie's are

[4:09] so on point yeah i mean keeping in mind that of all the all all the words are fake and i say this

[4:15] as someone who just last weekend won a writer's guild award for the fake news with ted elms it's

[4:19] on the comedy central website go see it just google fake news with ted elms comedy central

[4:23] as someone who just won an award awards are all pretty much bunk but the razzies are the most

[4:28] bunk since they're i don't even i don't know who gives them out they're not they're pointless they

[4:33] don't really go to the worst thing they go to like the most famous thing that they can find

[4:38] that's supposed to be bad but sometimes they give them to good things what's that all about

[4:41] uh i don't know let's ask alfie what's it all about alfie well it's me alfie i don't really

[4:49] know much about the movie that i was in i think i slept with a bunch of women anyway well tell us

[4:55] about the razzies then alfie the raspberry awards was started by a gentleman back in 1910 who was

[5:03] very upset about the quality of the flicker he just walked out of i actually don't know much

[5:09] about that either. I've been bonked

[5:11] in the head by a coconut. I don't know what my whole

[5:13] deal is. I don't know anything about the

[5:15] Razzies. I really should go to the

[5:17] doctor. So you're saying that

[5:19] the premise of this is that Michael Caine

[5:21] would have known quite a bit about the Razzie Awards

[5:23] if he hadn't been hit by the coconut.

[5:25] Who's Michael

[5:27] Caine? Oh, wow.

[5:29] Wow, this coconut injury goes deeper

[5:31] than we expected. Anyway, let's

[5:33] talk about this movie Oscar, shall we, guys?

[5:35] Yeah, why not? Fire it up.

[5:37] This movie starts in

[5:38] fake uh movie land depression era everything looks super fake and fakie and chicago right

[5:46] it's 1931 it's probably chicago and you're everything looks like it's on a sound stage

[5:52] the streets the houses everything which i said i mean i don't actually mind for this kind of movie

[5:56] this movie is deliberately stylized it's supposed to be a like a screwball farce so like the fact

[6:01] that everyone's playing dress up doesn't bother me but this this movie the the flaw in this movie

[6:07] is not that it lacks realism yes it's not like i want to see the gritty real gangster days yeah

[6:13] like johnny dangerously which i feel like they probably shot a lot of this on the same sets as

[6:21] johnny dangerously uh i wouldn't be surprised i bet you'd probably be right um so we meet our hero

[6:29] uh fly saloon he's playing i thought you were talking about peter riegert

[6:34] because he is the first star that we see is peter rieger the pickle man from crossing

[6:39] that's how you that's how you know you're about to watch a comedy uh we see he is a very funny

[6:45] performer yeah i know i was being serious it's one of the people i like uh the most in this movie

[6:50] actually one of the there's like uh five or six people i think really do well but anyway this

[6:54] movie has a has an amazing cast yeah okay so let's uh let's keep the the counter going number

[6:59] one person out of the five that dan liked peter regert okay okay let's keep track of it uh now

[7:06] dan what is sylvester stallone's mobster name because he's a dapper mobster what's his what's

[7:10] his name is snaps provolone uh-huh i'm laughing already it's named after cheese um and so he goes

[7:19] out with his now dan this is actually that's one of those jokes that's one of those current event

[7:23] jokes that is lost to us now because at the time they just invented cheese snaps which is how you

[7:28] would connect two pieces of cheese to make a sandwich out of them like little metal snaps

[7:32] and so people were like oh snaps provolone that's funny because nowadays we use snaps to connect our

[7:37] cheese but that joke is lost to us now because we don't use that technology anymore it's like

[7:41] how in fellowship of the ring where boromir picks up the shards of narsil and he cuts his finger on

[7:46] it and he says still sharp with just both a joke about his ad campaign for i think gillette where

[7:52] he cuts his finger on a razor and also because sean bean played the character richard sharp from

[7:57] the sharps rifle series now ellie yeah yeah ellie you said we don't use snaps to keep our cheese

[8:02] together anymore what do we use to keep our cheese together these days oh cheese velcro okay anyway

[8:08] so it's called it's called cheese crow or velveta and it's a like a it's just velcro that you

[8:14] attach to your cheese and it holds it together in a sandwich guys are you like to use

[8:18] have you ever wait no you finished so wait how do you do you need to use cheese snaps to keep

[8:29] the velcro connected to the cheese no you use cheese glue to hold the velcro on come on guys

[8:35] this is not new technology hey has this ever happened to you i want to eat a cheese sandwich

[8:39] but it keeps falling apart well no more now it's time for new cheese velcro cheese crow or velveta

[8:46] as we call it uh not associated with the spread velveta that's a different thing uh now cheese

[8:51] velcro holds your cheese together and it makes a delightful tearing and ripping sound as if the

[8:56] fabric of the universe was coming apart when you remove it from the cheese it's perfectly edible

[9:01] as long as you don't have too much of it because the glue is highly toxic so just have like a

[9:05] little bit of that uh but the velcro itself is fine it's made out of corn or something probably

[9:09] because of government subsidies anyway cheese velcro hold your sandwich together today now

[9:13] have you ever had this problem my loose meat sandwich is too loose the meat keeps falling

[9:18] out and rolling along the floor that's why we have new meat crow it's velcro for little pieces

[9:22] of meat now guys it is not good for you do not eat it but we're working out the bugs and someday

[9:27] we hope to have an edible version and uh i just want to throw in there you didn't put in this

[9:31] disclaimer but under no circumstance do you want to use cheese crow on meat because you will have

[9:37] no no no no no that is very bad idea very bad for reasons i'm not allowed to say because of a

[9:43] lawsuit so anyway uh so that's snaps provolone goes upstairs with his uh entourage to uh including

[9:53] chas palminteri including chas palminteri number two number two of the people i like oh later on

[10:00] he has he has my one favorite joke in the movie uh-huh so that's just alone as my second favorite

[10:05] joke in the movie but we'll get to it um and uh they're going up to see a dying man lo and behold

[10:11] it's kirk douglas oh wow he's snaps his father and he's dying and he's ashamed that snaps has

[10:18] been a gangster all these years kirk douglas went on to live many years after this movie

[10:22] the priestess ralph bellamy is that what you're gonna say no uh don amici don amici sorry the

[10:26] other one that's the other one they were in like two movies together sorry don amici um but uh and

[10:35] yeah it's true that at the time kirk douglas was already an old man yes now he is a much older man

[10:40] And thankfully, he's still with us.

[10:41] So Kirk Douglas snaps his father, makes snaps promise that he will go straight.

[10:49] And he does this by method of slapping him several times.

[10:53] Well, that was his gangster nickname, Slaps Provolone.

[10:56] Yeah.

[10:56] Because he loves slap bracelets.

[10:59] Cut to one month later.

[11:02] Oh, wow.

[11:03] Wait, no, Dan.

[11:04] Cut to a claymation opera singer.

[11:05] Oh, yes.

[11:06] I forgot.

[11:07] From the Barber of Seville.

[11:08] yes cut you the most inexplicable use of claymation since better off dead

[11:13] the opening credits are just brought projected onto a screen as a a claymation opera singer

[11:20] sings uh what's the olfactotum whatever that song is from uh from the barber of seville

[11:25] the figaro song uh and he's really belting it and i gotta say it's great claymation

[11:29] you never see this character again and i really missed him do you think yeah if he had shown up

[11:35] at the very end of the movie do you think uh people will like that oh they would have loved it

[11:40] i mean i was waiting for him to pop out of snaps's pocket as his little magic friend like that gopher

[11:44] from the punky brewster cartoon yeah it never happened uh okay so sorry about that i've missed

[11:50] i've missed the most important character but now that this is and this also you know it's always

[11:56] fun to watch it's always fun to watch a slightly older movie because i like watching the longer

[12:01] credit sequences and being like oh oh that person oh it's nice to see that person yeah um so snaps

[12:10] month later is he's trying to go straight uh-huh he's uh asleep in bed and uh i don't know if we

[12:17] need this many details well but the point is like he gets awoken by someone saying it's a matter of

[12:23] life and death and uh which we come to find out is true or not so this this this is the day snaps

[12:30] is going to meet with some bankers and buy into their bank and go straight as a banker

[12:34] rather than a gangster.

[12:35] Now, listeners of today would be like, what's the difference?

[12:39] There is no difference.

[12:40] Both of them are hoarders of capital who use their power to oppress those who have less

[12:46] capital and who the legal system has been designed to protect the holders of that power.

[12:50] But Dan, continue.

[12:51] Elliot, great.

[12:52] Now all of our banker listeners are going to be turning off the podcast and then writing

[12:56] mean reviews about us right after they get done writing a mean review about captain marvel a movie

[13:01] they haven't seen yet yes oh and dan who's who's playing the police chief who's out to get snaps

[13:09] oh uh curtwood smith hell yeah yeah who spends most of the movie and that 70 show i feel like

[13:16] he spends most of the movie shooing pigeons off a ledge he must have had like the most easy uh

[13:22] shooting of this whole movie like at the end he comes in and he has a little business to do but

[13:27] otherwise he's just looking through binoculars out of a fake window for the entire yelling into a

[13:32] phone yeah so it's like they they probably shot most of the scenes in one day i'm guessing yeah

[13:37] uh so dan well what who's this person's there in a matter of life and death what's going on

[13:41] well it's a young accountant who i never quite understood whether i was supposed to sympathize

[13:48] with him or not because

[13:50] he's there on a mission

[13:52] of love but as we learn later on

[13:54] he keeps stealing money from snaps

[13:56] and does not seem to be

[13:58] that upset about any of it so I'm like

[14:00] this guy seems kind of a dick

[14:02] he's a tall handsome guy and so

[14:04] it's kind of tough to sympathize with those characters

[14:06] in movies yeah exactly his name is Anthony

[14:08] so we can refer to him as that

[14:10] as we go on Anthony is there

[14:12] sorry I

[14:13] think that legally I'm supposed to always say

[14:16] Anthony

[14:17] or Antony

[14:18] Now Anthony was there to

[14:21] ask for a raise

[14:22] because he is in love

[14:25] and he asked for

[14:27] a significant raise from

[14:29] Mr. Snaps, his boss

[14:31] Mr. Provolone

[14:33] Mr. Provolone, Snaps

[14:35] for short

[14:36] Mr. Snaps

[14:39] is like a maid in a sitcom

[14:42] would call someone by Mr. and their first name

[14:44] That's true

[14:45] um and it becomes and what who is anthony in love with well it turns out that what turns out who do

[14:54] we think it is it turns out that he's in love with snaps's daughter which enrages snaps uh-huh

[15:05] although he's not allowed to murder him because he's going straight this is his day where he's

[15:09] gonna and so every time his gangsters run in with a gun he takes their guns away yes because he

[15:14] doesn't want them shooting anybody and this eventually ends with chas palminteri running

[15:18] in with a with like a uh the leg and thigh quarter of a chicken it's either turkey or chicken running

[15:24] in and using pretending that's a gun which is pretty funny joke i gotta say palminteri stuff

[15:29] is pretty funny and there was a brief moment when i saw him run in there and i'm like i get why

[15:33] people love having guns because they're delicious chicken legs yeah i would that's my favorite kind

[15:40] a gun a chicken leg so okay i'll just dan i'll just say so in uh snaps is like you don't make

[15:46] enough money you can't you can't be with my daughter and he says that's okay i've embezzled

[15:49] fifty thousand dollars from you and i'm gonna give it to your daughter when we get married

[15:52] and snaps is mad about all this and not in the paul reiser mad about you that means i like you

[15:58] sort of way no mad in the sylvester stallone's voice goes from kind of low to very loud in a uh

[16:05] space of one sentence yes snaps being even though he's going straight like even over and above the

[16:11] fact he's going straight he seems like a very reasonable gangster because he's like after a

[16:15] while he's like okay you embezzled fifty thousand dollars from me but you're gonna give it to my

[16:19] daughter seems fair uh and the reasons of the plot snaps must be okay with this for the moment

[16:25] yeah so he's mostly okay i mean he makes anthony go like walk around the block while he talks to

[16:31] his daughter and like clears everything up because he's also mad that it turns out the two of them

[16:35] are lovers which uh especially at the time oh he's not happy about yeah and he goes and tell

[16:43] us about the daughter he goes up to see his daughter who turns out to be played by marissa

[16:47] tomei uh-huh who is the third person i liked in the movie and the person i liked the most in this

[16:53] movie and was very angry to see that she got a razzie award nomination here's my theory about

[16:59] that so she is she is very good in this movie playing a very irritating character kind of like

[17:04] a loud petulant flapper and i think the razzie awards were like this character's irritating so

[17:10] we're gonna give her a bad we're gonna give her a bad actress award how dare she sit in bed and read

[17:15] lady chatterly's lover and listen to cab calloway music but uh but she's but this was i think her

[17:22] first movie oscar oh yeah she is so charming in it and like even even with what you're saying

[17:28] about her being like kind of a like an irritating character but she's also like super lovable like

[17:33] Yeah. It reminds me of how after she won the Oscar for My Cousin Vinny, people were like, that was a mistake. That couldn't have been real. And it's like, why? Because she's hilarious in it? Because she gives a hilarious, nuanced performance in it? It makes me mad just to think about it.

[17:50] And steals every scene she's in.

[17:51] Yes.

[17:53] And she's not stealing scenes from just anybody. She's stealing scenes from Herman Munster, guys.

[17:57] I remember...

[17:58] She's taking her life in her hands.

[18:02] Yeah, you'd expect Herman Munster to come down and rip her limb from limb.

[18:06] Like he did on the show, right?

[18:07] Yeah, just snap her neck.

[18:07] I remember when my wife and I first started dating, my wife who is, you know, born and raised in Brooklyn.

[18:14] When I, we had been dating for a couple of months and I went back to Indiana to visit my parents.

[18:20] I remember one night watching my cousin Vinny just because it made me feel close to this woman I had just started dating.

[18:28] That's very sweet.

[18:31] Yeah.

[18:32] So, Dan, Marissa Tomei, she's a real flapper, girl of the 20s in 1931, and Snaps is stifling her.

[18:39] He won't let her live the life she wants.

[18:40] So what does she do, Dan?

[18:42] Well, because she wants to get out of the house, as she keeps saying, and marry someone.

[18:48] Marrying someone is her best ticket out of that stifling house.

[18:51] She, at the suggestion of the maid, pretends to be pregnant.

[18:55] She says she's pregnant, so she'll have to marry this guy.

[19:00] because she brings a different accent

[19:02] to the table.

[19:02] She's Irish, everyone.

[19:05] Hooray.

[19:07] St. Patrick's Day is coming up.

[19:09] I love being comfortable.

[19:15] Just like blank stares.

[19:18] I mean, what does that have to do with...

[19:21] Even if someone's listening to this late,

[19:24] I guess St. Patrick's Day is still coming up eventually.

[19:28] The inexorable march of time brings St. Patrick's Day to our door once again.

[19:33] Not to get onto a hot take, guys, that might offend people, but St. Patrick's Day is one of those holidays where I'm like, why does everyone give a shit about this?

[19:41] Like, I totally get why Irish people would love to have a day to celebrate being Irish and all the great poetry and other things that that has to do with.

[19:51] But why should I care?

[19:52] Like, why do I have to care, Dan?

[19:54] Elliot's angry because he's part snake and snakes hate St. Patrick's Day.

[19:58] Well, that's the other thing is that it should be called – actually, I won't even go into that joke.

[20:02] Never mind.

[20:02] That would have been politically correct.

[20:03] But I will say that, guys, yeah, why are we celebrating the lack of snakes in a place that desperately needs snakes?

[20:10] Have you ever opened up a can of peanut brittle in Ireland?

[20:12] There's just peanut brittle inside.

[20:14] Nothing jumps out at you.

[20:17] What would be in it?

[20:18] Like a totally realistic snake?

[20:20] Totally realistic snakes.

[20:22] But, yeah, Dan, so you tell me you're part Irish, right?

[20:25] Your last name is McCoy.

[20:27] Yeah, Scott's Irish, yeah.

[20:29] So, okay, sorry.

[20:30] It's a rich, you know, it's a rainbow of different cultures in there.

[20:34] Yeah, from white to slightly more white.

[20:38] So why should I, a Jewish person who has no Irish blood in me, care about St. Patrick's Day?

[20:44] Why do I have to wear green and get pinched if I don't?

[20:46] Which is an assault, sir.

[20:48] An assault on my very person.

[20:49] Elliot, don't you treasure all the blarney we've brought into your life?

[20:55] I don't know what blarney is.

[20:57] I know there's enough to make a stone out of it.

[21:00] I imagine it's a kind of like, it's a kind of like, like, like a sticky, like a sticky fruit snack or something like that.

[21:07] Uh-huh.

[21:08] Oh, so you studied Ireland.

[21:12] Let's get back to this.

[21:15] Let's get back to the movie.

[21:16] So she pretends that she's pregnant.

[21:18] Yes.

[21:19] But, uh-oh, Dan, who's going to show up and throw a monkey wrench into the proceedings?

[21:23] I can only imagine.

[21:24] Wait, I'm not sure.

[21:26] is that we're talking about theresa yes is it eddie bracken i i don't really

[21:31] there's another mention eddie bracken plays a stuttering informant who's calling everybody

[21:36] up i love eddie bracken we've talked about that on the on the podcast before big fan of his

[21:40] saw him in a play once he's in one of my favorite movies the miracle morgan's creek

[21:43] i don't so i don't remember the order of a lot of these things i'll be honest with you

[21:47] so let's just go to theresa okay okay we don't we don't learn the true uh i mean

[21:54] Identity of Lisa's paramour at this point.

[21:57] It's okay if you don't remember the structure because structure isn't that important in a French farce, right?

[22:00] You can just kind of jumble all the jokes together and it works.

[22:04] So Snaps, our entry point character, as we've all been, a gangster going straight, he now thinks that Anthony has impregnated his daughter and Anthony has this $50,000.

[22:16] But then another woman shows up, and what does she say to Snaps, Dan?

[22:19] Yeah, Teresa.

[22:20] In a strangely flat end, in an acting style that clashes with everybody else in the movie.

[22:26] Yeah, I have to say, I don't want to get down on individual actors.

[22:31] But you do want to get down and get funky, right?

[22:34] I do.

[22:35] I want to get down on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

[22:37] You do want to get on the scene like a sex machine.

[22:40] Yeah.

[22:41] But this woman, like, I actually, this is going to be harsher than it sounds.

[22:46] I looked her up on IMDb to see if she had ever been in anything else because her performance is so much flatter than anyone else's.

[22:54] It's very strange.

[22:55] And I think they were trying to – with her, I think they were trying to go with she's more of a like – she's not part of this gangster life.

[23:02] So I guess she like is more of a good girl sort.

[23:05] But yeah, she comes off very – every time she enters the scene, her performance style is just so much slower and like calmer than everybody else's and it really throws off the scenes.

[23:16] But anyway, she comes to reveal that she is in love with Anthony.

[23:20] She has been pretending to be Snaps' daughter.

[23:22] Which seems ridiculous based on the way they enunciate.

[23:26] There was a misunderstanding that's too stupid to explain.

[23:33] But she's been pretending this all the time, and that's why Anthony's come looking to marry Teresa.

[23:38] Yeah, she thought Anthony was a rich accountant, and she thought, he's not going to date a girl who's not rich.

[23:43] so i better pretend to be the daughter of the most famous gangster in town meanwhile it turns

[23:48] out that lisa is actually her uh boyfriend had been oscar the the chauffeur who has been fired

[23:55] at this point and we later find out has skipped the country uh-huh and we later in the army we

[24:00] later find out that he is played by one of the scriptwriters oh yeah yeah oh i didn't realize

[24:05] that okay so in order to get back his jewels which he now knows are are like not going to

[24:13] come back to him oh wait no no it's not jewels yet dan it's fifty thousand dollars in cash

[24:17] which anthony has told at some point tells him oh i i put them in the form of jewels

[24:23] which i'm going to give to uh which i'm going to give to your daughter who i'm in love with

[24:27] it's not really uh so snaps is like i need this money back and i also and his wife says

[24:34] our daughter's pregnant you've got to find a husband for her and let me just say i don't

[24:37] usually like to make these kinds of comments but the actress playing snaps's wife is so incredibly

[24:44] beautiful that it like yeah every scene she's in i'm like i don't she's like i can't buy her as

[24:50] silly she's beautiful in that in that way that certain italian actresses are like that sophia

[24:54] loren type way yeah and i was like i was like you need to get a less beautiful actress for this part

[24:59] because i mean she was in flash gordon dude i mean and and they're probably a problem too as well

[25:06] it was just really throwing me off but i apologize that i was i was that i was startled each time

[25:10] she was on by how much her real glamour beauty like clashed with the kind of fake old style of

[25:17] the movie yeah no i had to look her up and i was like i was like did isabel bella rossellini have

[25:21] a sister what's going on here but like yeah she's a she's a lovely lady uh she does have a sister

[25:26] dizzy bella rossellini and she's kind of like the goofy clumsy isabella rossellini that's how she's

[25:33] available is because she's so clumsy and that but that shows that even though she's beautiful

[25:38] she's relatable because she's so clumsy and that's why the goofball hero can attain her

[25:43] before we move on uh i this is not particularly important to the plot but we have not mentioned

[25:48] that also because snaps is meeting with these bankers he has the fenucci brothers is that their

[25:53] names yeah yeah the fanuchis or the panuchis i think it's fanuchi because i had the i had the

[25:59] closed captions on and they're so fanuchi brothers they're famous italian uh uh suit tailors and

[26:07] they're making a suit for snaps and one of them is harry shearer and one of them is one of the

[26:11] guys from jurassic park i can't remember his name but they're very they're very funny too

[26:16] they're like also people i think are very funny david edinburgh yeah um sorry richard edinburgh

[26:22] not David Attenborough

[26:23] Richard Attenborough

[26:23] his dad

[26:24] Laura Dern

[26:25] Newman from Seinfeld

[26:27] Wayne Knight

[26:28] Samuel Jackson

[26:29] uh huh

[26:31] is it a raptor

[26:32] it's all of them

[26:33] is he played by a raptor

[26:35] Dave

[26:35] they all went into

[26:36] Jeff Goldblum's

[26:37] fly machine

[26:38] and got merged together

[26:40] that was a real machine

[26:41] oh wow

[26:42] and Jeff Goldblum

[26:43] got the patent on it

[26:44] I also like the idea

[26:45] that it was a fly machine

[26:46] that he was intentionally

[26:47] trying to do

[26:48] he kept teleporting

[26:50] himself going like

[26:51] still no flies

[26:51] now here's the thing do you think they built a real working teleportation machine just for the

[26:57] realism of it and then the studio was like we cannot insure this movie if you're using a real

[27:03] teleportation machine you better build a fake one the insurance bills are gonna be through the roof

[27:09] yeah anyway so anyway he's getting his suit made by the fenucci brothers yeah that's a little bit

[27:15] business that's fun but uh so it's basically a chance for harry sheer to do a lot of uh

[27:22] like a shut up a you face type jokes yeah exactly so uh so i'll just say this part real quick snaps

[27:28] manages to swindle that bag of jewels back from the accountant but in the meantime the accountant

[27:32] is like ah but i needed that money i need that money and theresa overhears it and storms out

[27:37] because he thinks she thinks that he cares about the money more than her well is this is this the

[27:43] moment where they sign different papers probably i don't know there's i feel like there's i feel

[27:50] there's all this business with like exchanging bags and signing contract he that anthony signs

[27:54] a paper saying i am the father of snaps's daughter's baby yeah and snap signs a paper that

[28:00] says anthony can have what fifty thousand dollars or something anthony can have a raise i don't

[28:05] remember what it is there's a lot of like that farce business where there's objects that are

[28:09] changing hands i just think it was important to uh to make it clear that anthony signs this paper

[28:14] saying he's the father of this baby because that's how uh snaps then tries to wrangle him into

[28:21] marrying marissa tomei to give this unborn child that does not exist a father and he also says that

[28:28] the fenuchis are famous assassins and that he'll send them after him and this is there there's a

[28:33] there's a thing here where the fenuchis uh they're really proud that one of their suits was in the

[28:38] newspaper and so they have an article about uh about a gangster who was murdered yes wearing

[28:43] one of their suits and then uh and anthony's is talking to him they're like oh you you what uh

[28:48] they're very proud of their work they consider themselves artists and they say take a look at

[28:51] this and they show him that article and he takes it as more proof that they are assassins and carry

[28:55] around their press clippings and i'm like all right that wasn't like hilarious but it's like

[28:59] a clever callback yeah it was one of the better far school uh uh wheel wheel spinnings of the of

[29:05] the movie i think do you want to talk about how that turns into a kind of random jazz piano

[29:09] sequence where anthony and the fenucci brothers are playing jazz piano together uh i mean it's

[29:14] not really pertinent to the plot but it is a lot of fun and it's i like it's basically excuse for

[29:19] harry shearer to like wave his finger in the air as if he's listening to a jazz like a hop in tune

[29:24] yeah that was one of the few moments in the that was like after the claymation opera singer that

[29:30] was the moment the movie where i was like what it was it was amazing to uh see harry shearer act uh

[29:37] because uh as we all know in real life he cannot feel joy so to see that happen was wow wow really

[29:43] harsh dan he's given you so much enjoyment over the years he's spinal tap the simpsons the the

[29:50] voice of that stormtrooper in the original star wars his lengthy unfunny radio show oh wow

[29:56] Look, I just want to make it clear to Harry Shearer

[30:00] The opinions of Dan McCoy do not represent

[30:02] The opinions of the Flophouse

[30:03] No, I love Harry Shearer, I just find that radio show

[30:06] Inexplicable

[30:07] You don't have to listen to it

[30:09] No, the government is

[30:13] Blasting it into my house

[30:16] They're trying to get me to leave my apartment

[30:17] But I'm not going to do it

[30:19] Anyway, that was a weird thing to say

[30:22] So, Anthony meets the daughter

[30:25] meets Marissa Tomei.

[30:26] Yes.

[30:27] Do they like each other?

[30:28] What?

[30:31] No, they do not.

[30:32] Do they, Anthony?

[30:33] They don't hit it off at all.

[30:34] They do not hit it off, no.

[30:35] No.

[30:36] So, all right, this is where I lose the thread a little bit.

[30:40] So it's around now that they introduce an additional character

[30:43] in the form of Tim Curry playing Dr. Poole.

[30:46] Yes.

[30:46] Snaps' elocution teacher.

[30:48] Who is a doctor of, what, language?

[30:52] He's a real Henry Higgins type.

[30:55] He's a doctor of speakology.

[30:56] Yeah, he can, like Henry Higgins, he can guess where anyone's from based on their accent.

[31:01] And Anthony decides, this is the guy who I'm going to palm Lisa off on.

[31:07] Yeah, because she dreams of seeing the world, this lonely young hunk, Tim Curry.

[31:12] And now, Dan, I think you're maybe the world's number one Tim Curry fan, correct?

[31:16] Sure, let's see.

[31:18] For the purposes of this, let's say that's true.

[31:21] Did it feel as strange to you as it did to me when even knowing that Tim Curry was in the movie, from seeing his name in the credits, when he suddenly appeared, bringing an English accent with him?

[31:30] I will say that this is going to sound like such an insult about a person's appearances.

[31:38] Tim Curry is a unique looking fellow, but I've never seen him looking weirder than in this movie.

[31:45] They really make him look kind of strange, yeah.

[31:49] And that's keeping in mind that his first major breakthrough role that I can think of was as a cross-dressing vampire from outer space.

[31:57] Yes.

[31:57] And here he looks like even – if I saw Dr. Frankenfurter walking down the street, I'd be like, all right.

[32:03] But if I saw Dr. Poole walking down the street, I'd be like, that guy's got some weird issues.

[32:07] But anyway.

[32:09] If I saw Dr. Frankenfurter walking down the street, I'd pick him up and carry him around because I'm wearing a gold underpants.

[32:16] Yeah.

[32:18] So, at this point, it's important to...

[32:20] Wearing a gold underpants.

[32:22] That's what they call it, right?

[32:23] At this point, it's important to note that there's some farcical business involving identical bags and the maid leaving, quitting her job.

[32:34] Was this back in the day when they only had one kind of bag, Dan?

[32:38] Apparently, because there are three identical bags in this movie.

[32:41] All this black Dr. Valise type bag.

[32:44] And one of them has underpants in it.

[32:47] One of them has jewels, and is there a third one?

[32:49] The third one has cash.

[32:51] Cash, okay.

[32:51] $50,000 of cash.

[32:52] So the maid is leaving, and all she takes is her underpants.

[32:55] Yes.

[32:56] I guess she has one set of clothing, and the rest is just underpants.

[33:00] So this comes into play because Snaps is trying to convince Dr. Poole to marry Marisa Tomei,

[33:07] and to sweeten the deal, he's going to give him a bunch of money so he can help his mom,

[33:13] so he can start an institute, and he dumps the bag on the table,

[33:17] thinking that jewels are going to spray out money but it's in fact ladies underwear and and now this

[33:23] is the first of several times when people empty bags thinking money will be in it and it's just

[33:27] ladies underwear yeah uh each time is it does it get funnier each time dan i will actually say

[33:31] for me it got funnier the second time and much less funny the third time because that's fair

[33:36] that's fair now uh anthony has told lisa marissa tomei that dr pool loves her and dr pool is open

[33:43] to the idea of getting money for his institute.

[33:46] He seems more devoted to his mother

[33:48] than anything else.

[33:49] Yeah.

[33:50] So, I don't know.

[33:53] A bunch of farcical shit happens.

[33:55] Okay.

[33:55] Ellie, why don't you take the wheel for a second?

[33:57] Yeah.

[33:58] Okay, those bags keep getting mixed up.

[34:00] There's a couple times where Stallone tells Chaz Palminteri,

[34:04] hey, watch this bag.

[34:07] Don't let it get out of your sight.

[34:08] And then Chaz Palminteri gets distracted by something

[34:10] and Peter Riegert switches it with another bag,

[34:12] not knowing there's money in it like the chauffeur the german chauffeur gets sent back to get the

[34:16] maid's bag because the maid is actually marrying yeah the rich banker that sylvester sloan

[34:20] originally wanted his daughter to marry speaking of chas palminteri getting things mixed up he

[34:25] runs into the room once with a gun and sylvester sloan's like snaps like give me your gun what did

[34:30] i say give me all the guns and so he unloads all of these guns and weapons and this is the best

[34:37] joke in the movie i half expect him to like pull out a dvd copy of airplane it was like the most

[34:42] like zucker brother style for so long like and in any other movie i'd be like this is going on too

[34:48] long it's going too slowly but for some reason the weird pacing of it and the insistence on

[34:54] continually cutting to more and more reaction shots made it extra funny to me this is the one

[35:00] part of the movie that is structured and cut and shot properly i feel like for comedy the pacing

[35:06] is perfect it's very deliberate in the way that old movie stuff often is where it's like you see

[35:12] the joke coming here it is you see it again here it is and it's funnier because you know it's going

[35:18] to keep coming but there's the added twist of the weapons he's pulling out are increasingly

[35:22] bizarre like it ends with him ending out ending with a bundle of sticks of dynamite with a with

[35:27] a timer on it and the clock is ticking like does that mean the house is going to explode

[35:32] so he's got all these guns he's got knives brass knuckles a grenade i think at one point and like

[35:37] it's it's that was the one joke in the movie i was like oh you figured out how to tell a joke

[35:42] in this movie huh the other one is there's a part where sylvester stallone takes the fenucci

[35:46] brothers into the his life his study to uh to get his suit uh done and of course it's like the

[35:52] library and beauty and the beast there's wall to wall ceiling to floor books everywhere and they

[35:57] go oh so many books and so it's just alone so casually just goes yeah well reading is my passion

[36:01] and i thought that was so funny it was such a funny delivery of that like

[36:06] like it was like oh that's the casual like this movie doesn't know when to be casual and it

[36:12] doesn't know when to be deliberate and instead it's just kind of like frantic but not frantic

[36:16] enough in the way that late 80s early 90s movies move surprisingly slowly like everything is kind

[36:22] of as if they're underwater and this this chas momentary taking the weapons out of his coat it

[36:26] was like so beautifully done i was like uh this i should not yeah i should not like this but i think

[36:31] it's so funny so uh but anyway this is about the point oh well go on but i was gonna say this is

[36:36] about the point that uh there's all this bags being moved around or whatever and it's about

[36:40] the point when lisa actually meets dr pool and what happens uh they fall for each other they uh

[36:46] they're into it and uh this is part of this is also why chas palminteri misses the bag being

[36:51] switched because he's looking out the window this big lug of a guy turns out to be a real romantic

[36:57] he's looking out the window and a single tear rolls down his cheek out of happiness seeing

[37:02] these two young lovers well one young lover and one middle-aged lover together having uh having a

[37:09] quiet moment and kissing and uh and that's when peter rieger swoops in and swaps the bags leading

[37:14] to a bag full of underwear being dumped on a desk again yes that was that was the part that i

[37:19] actually found funny when when it happened to the second the same person a second time i think the

[37:23] reason why it's less funny the third time is just like a new guy but like just like the repetition

[37:27] of like oh okay forget the last time when i dumped out those underwear here's the one i was really

[37:33] gonna give you more underwear and tim and tim curry reaction like oh yes look at all this money

[37:40] you've dumped out in front of me here's a beautiful piece of money and here's another piece of money

[37:46] yep uh and so yeah he like rufio's the underpants right now i i will say the uh the the running gag

[37:54] with chas palminteri's character and other ones that i did not enjoy was snaps almost instantly

[37:59] starts referring to Teresa as his daughter

[38:01] for some reason I don't understand he kind

[38:03] of thinks he can sweep it all under the rug as long

[38:05] as he takes care of this Teresa option so he'll be

[38:07] like I gotta find he's gotta marry

[38:09] my daughter Lisa no Teresa

[38:11] the other daughter you got another

[38:13] daughter boss that happens probably

[38:15] 40 times in this movie it's like

[38:17] I didn't I didn't know you had another daughter

[38:19] I don't and it's like what

[38:20] it's just like snaps why don't you take

[38:23] a moment take a breath

[38:24] sit down explain

[38:27] what's happening don't just be like dan uh actually dan if i could uh oh wow for just a

[38:33] moment sliced alone uh it's me sliced alone star of the movie oscar and also judge dread i am the

[38:38] law uh now uh daniel you've made a complaint that can often be made of many forces that if the

[38:46] characters only stopped for a moment and explained the proceedings people would know what was going

[38:52] on and there wouldn't be all this confusion and maybe the uh farcical laughs would die down and

[38:59] instead of a big problem where people are slamming doors and running around they just sell things

[39:03] very quickly it's kind of the same the same thing i say when i'm watching curb your enthusiasm

[39:09] starring lawrence david in which oh very when when you when there's so many times when all

[39:15] lawrence has to do is apologize even if he don't mean it and the problem will go away but he's just

[39:20] so damn stubborn he just won't do it yep and he gets into trouble and i'm like lawrence maybe you

[39:26] should curb your enthusiasm yeah because in trouble it's very frustrating for the audience

[39:31] that's all i'm trying to say you know it doesn't uh yeah it's true that's true dan that's true now

[39:35] uh what it really is is that you got to uh believe that farce exists in a kind of different space a

[39:40] kind of farce space in which logic is more important than uh reality is that a way i could

[39:48] put it does that make sense and so each farce event is such a dramaturg background i also i

[39:54] also didn't realize until just now how much sylvester stallone sounds like natasha leone

[39:58] oh yeah i was her uh i was her elocution teacher oh awesome great uh uh dan i actually chair the

[40:06] drama department at yale university uh right i teach a class called farce or farts in which i

[40:14] talk about the two main types of humor.

[40:16] There's the farcical type of humor

[40:18] in which it is a chain of events

[40:20] that is intricately linked, and there's

[40:22] also the crass toilet

[40:24] sort of humor. And they both have their place

[40:26] in the theater, I have to say.

[40:28] I imagine that you were just showing your

[40:30] class a farce, and then

[40:32] playing an audio recording of a fart

[40:34] and asking them to identify which is which.

[40:36] Oh, so you took the class.

[40:38] Yeah, that's the final.

[40:40] That's the final exam. People pass it.

[40:45] Great.

[40:45] I mean, I guess that's a brag on you as a teacher.

[40:48] People pass it.

[40:49] Yeah, well, I mean, that's good.

[40:50] I mean, it shows they've learned the difference between noises off and like a particularly wet fart when confronted with both of them.

[40:58] I mean, yeah, that would be noises on, I guess, in that case.

[41:02] Very good, Stuart.

[41:04] Very good.

[41:04] Extra credit.

[41:05] Now, I didn't know you'd enrolled.

[41:07] Yeah.

[41:09] Oh, wow.

[41:11] This is an interesting university.

[41:13] Yeah, it's Yale.

[41:14] It's an Ivy League college.

[41:16] So-called because we shot the movie Poison Ivy there, starring Drew Barrymore.

[41:21] The sequels were shot at other universities.

[41:23] That's what the Ivy League means.

[41:25] So Poison Ivy 2 with Alyssa Milano, that was shot at Harvard.

[41:30] And Poison Ivy, The New Seduction with Jamie Presley was shot at Brown.

[41:34] Wow.

[41:35] That's your pedigree.

[41:37] Oh, yes.

[41:39] Now, Dan, so I guess what I'm saying is you have put your finger on the most prevalent criticism of the farce form.

[41:47] But at a certain point, don't you have to accept the rules of the dramaturgical form upon which you are enjoying?

[41:54] All right.

[41:56] I suppose a willing suspension of disbelief is in order.

[41:59] Yep.

[42:00] That's my teaching assistant, Willie Suspension of Disbelief.

[42:06] Willie's been with me for a long time, and someday he'll finish his doctorate.

[42:09] Okay.

[42:10] Groucho Marx just walked in.

[42:12] Yeah, he's been feeding me lines.

[42:16] Well, guys, I gotta go.

[42:18] I'm in talks to make a movie called Oscar II, Too Fast, Too Oscar.

[42:22] And it's the story of, well, you'll find out.

[42:26] But it's another adventure in the life of that lovable tale, lovable character that America came to fall in love with, Oscar.

[42:33] which the director, John Landis, he told me that Oscar was the,

[42:37] yeah, well, they just start calling my character Oscar.

[42:40] Okay, I got you.

[42:41] Like, the way that Nick Charles became the thin man,

[42:43] even though he wasn't the thin man in the first movie.

[42:45] Yeah, this is an interesting promotional copy for Oscar 2.

[42:49] Oscar 2.

[42:50] So anyway, John Landis told me that Oscar was the number one box office hit of 1991.

[42:55] And I don't know why it's taken almost 30 years to make the sequel,

[42:58] but I guess he's been working on the screenplay.

[43:00] It's like Blade Runner.

[43:02] He's got his son Max on it, so I assume there's going to be a lot of high-concept bullshit in it.

[43:06] But we'll figure something out.

[43:07] Oh, wow.

[43:08] I'm pretty excited.

[43:09] Okay, well, thanks for dropping by, as you occasionally do.

[43:13] Yeah, well, what else are we going to do today?

[43:16] I guess I don't know.

[43:18] Yeah, and I suppose I should—

[43:20] Are you guys going to—maybe we should take in, like, a Broadway show?

[43:22] No, well, I don't know about that.

[43:24] Yeah, I mean, I guess we could stop the podcast saying and go to a Broadway show.

[43:27] No, let's keep the podcast running.

[43:29] You guys seen this Hamilton?

[43:30] I've heard a lot about it.

[43:32] I mean, yeah, we've both seen it, yeah.

[43:34] Oh, so you didn't wait for me.

[43:36] Thanks, I guess.

[43:37] Thanks for no thanks.

[43:38] I mean, I think you can see it a second time.

[43:40] It's got a different cast at this point.

[43:41] Oh, great.

[43:43] Well, I'll just sit on the couch and be silent for the rest of the show.

[43:46] Thanks.

[43:47] I'll close my eyes and take a nap until you're ready to leave.

[43:50] Okay, great.

[43:51] Elliot, you won't believe what just happened.

[43:55] I heard it, and I'm all the way over here on the other side of the country.

[44:00] Oh, wow.

[44:00] This is ridiculous.

[44:02] I didn't keep missing him.

[44:03] Yeah, I got to start locking my door.

[44:05] Well, I think he'll just break through.

[44:08] He's a mountain of a man.

[44:09] Yeah, he's very strong.

[44:11] Okay, so Dan, I'm going to take the wheel for just a moment.

[44:14] Lisa and Dr. Poole have hit it off.

[44:16] Snaps, he reconnects Anthony, Teresa, and he gets the jewels back.

[44:20] And Snaps learns that, so the maid has left, so they hire a new maid.

[44:23] And who does this new maid turn out to be, Dan?

[44:25] This new maid turns out to be someone that Snaps knew from the old days

[44:30] When he first was in the business, the business being a criminal, and they had had a little love connection back in the day.

[44:40] And it turns out that she is the mother of Teresa and he is the father of Teresa.

[44:46] So he does have two daughters after all.

[44:48] In the most pushing of suspension of disbelief thing I think has ever happened in a movie ever.

[44:56] Even more so than the Venom symbiote just landing next to Spider-Man in a park in Spider-Man 3.

[45:01] We find out that Teresa actually was Snaps' real daughter.

[45:06] Yeah, and so Snaps gives Anthony his blessing to marry his daughter because he's proven that he truly loves her.

[45:15] Because earlier on he gave up the money.

[45:17] We didn't talk about that, but it happened.

[45:18] And so everyone's getting married.

[45:21] And he sends Peter Riegert out of the room to get some champagne.

[45:25] And that's just when the bankers walk in and he's like,

[45:27] Ixnay on the Ampane, Shay, because it's during Prohibition.

[45:30] Now, normally, you'd know bankers show up and you're like,

[45:34] oh, I have a soft spot for bankers.

[45:36] They're nice guys.

[45:37] But one of the bankers is played by William Atherton.

[45:40] So, you know, they're jerks.

[45:42] Yeah.

[45:43] Oh, yeah.

[45:43] He's going to shut down the Ghostbusters loan after this.

[45:46] And so the bankers, we've seen them throughout the movie meeting.

[45:50] I assume it's this meeting that they've had, I assume, is like 14 hours long.

[45:54] And they're just, oh, I don't want to be in business with gangsters, blah, blah, blah.

[45:57] They think they're above Snaps Provolone just because Snaps Provolone is a murderous criminal who made his money off of stealing and killing and breaking the law.

[46:05] And this is – it's one of those things where we're supposed to be like – and to a certain extent we are.

[46:10] Sylvester Stallone is super charismatic, and William Atherton and those guys are just not quite as charismatic as Sylvester Stallone.

[46:14] So we're on the gangster side. But it's like in real life, it's like I kind of would want my bank to not be comfortable just getting into bed with a criminal who has decided not to be a criminal anymore and wants to go scot-free.

[46:27] Wouldn't you guys? It seems like –

[46:28] It's undercut by the occasional like racist against Italians epithet uttered by the bankers.

[46:36] That's true. I mean they are bad guys, and they hate poor people and stuff like that. Like they're a caricature of the rich.

[46:44] yes so they have this meeting and uh the fact that all these uh be suited men have walked into

[46:50] snaps's house gives kurtwood smith the chance to say give it the go ahead we're going in we're

[46:56] getting all the we're gonna get the press like he thinks that they're another gang meeting for a

[47:01] tete-a-tete he thinks it's the o'bannon gang yeah and so they go in and he goes in and he

[47:08] very confidently asserts that various bankers are various gangsters which seems weird because

[47:13] i feel like he would have known what those gangsters look like yeah this is after anthony

[47:18] has noticed in the banker's contract that they are trying to screw snaps out of his money that

[47:22] for the money he's giving to have a stake in the bank he won't have a seat on the board and he can

[47:26] be kicked out whenever they want so the cops rush in they go arrest these gangsters yeah and and he

[47:32] goes he goes wait a second this bag has all the money in it we've been seeing it going in and out

[47:37] of the house this whole time let me guys get your cameras ready i'm gonna dump all this money out on

[47:42] the table this will be the proof but dan what comes out of that bag uh ladies unmentionables

[47:47] so we shouldn't have mentioned them here on the podcast the the only way they could have because

[47:53] this joke has happened a lot of times and as you said it's not funnier because it's happening to

[47:57] new people but if tim curry had been there and been like tried to convince the new guys that

[48:04] it was money i think it would have been funnier that would be funnier yeah i'll give you that

[48:08] um so you know kurtwood smith is is made a fool uh he leaves uh he runs into other gangsters who

[48:17] actually were coming there to try and kill snap so he has a bit of a turnaround in his fortunes

[48:22] he has something to show the from pauper to prince in mere moments yeah he catches all of them

[48:29] and snaps is like he offers anthony a job as the head of his organization which means he's going

[48:36] back into criminality and everyone cheers and he's like i'm sorry dad i tried and i'm like wait

[48:42] are we supposed to be happy he's becoming a gangster again i don't understand and also so

[48:46] like stallone like none of the things that really like screwed you up today were because you were

[48:51] going straight like it was all other like unrelated far school shenanigans yeah there's nothing to

[48:58] stop him from just starting a real like starting a hardware store chain or something like that

[49:02] like or like any any real anything other than that one bank so do you think he should have

[49:08] announced this and then like a guy would have run in uh and then he just like shot him or something

[49:13] yeah i think if he then started handing out guns to everybody we're back in business boys and they

[49:18] just start bringing in like stool pigeons tied up and things like that and like big casks of

[49:23] bootleg liquor like it was all waiting just behind a door but then we cut to a double marriage both

[49:29] of the both of our uh couples are getting married don amici's there presiding over it that's in

[49:35] snaps's house and then uh this guy runs in in army gear and everyone's like who's that it's like it's

[49:42] me oscar and snap and snap's like get him out of here and i then they take him out i assume to get

[49:48] shot yeah yeah they're gonna murder him yeah yep so that's the happy ending oscar our titular

[49:54] character dead in a ditch

[49:56] somewhere.

[49:56] And as with every great Shakespeare

[50:00] comedy, it ends with the couples

[50:02] united and the

[50:03] correct order of the universe

[50:06] has been established. People in marriage

[50:08] and gangsters doing gangster stuff.

[50:10] Yep.

[50:11] So that was Oscar, guys.

[50:13] Good stuff. Oh, we did it, guys.

[50:16] We did it.

[50:18] And the Oscar goes to the

[50:20] movie we watched, because it's called

[50:22] oscar now how many dan how many oscars was oscar nominated for uh i i don't believe it was nominated

[50:29] for any i i think it was only nominated for like four razzies i don't think it won any of them

[50:34] unfortunately yeah i wonder what won that year i'm gonna look it up while we're talking okay

[50:39] which you guys who won the razzie yeah um because i will say i don't think this movie deserved a

[50:46] Razzie award no I mean it's I mean it's

[50:49] wait hold on final judgments good bad

[50:51] movie bad bad movie movie kind of like

[50:53] Stewart yeah so I don't know like it was

[50:56] fun to see a bunch of actors that I

[50:58] hadn't seen in a while I like that the

[51:00] rival mob boss has a manicurist who is

[51:03] the actress who does the voice for Harley

[51:05] Quinn in the cartoons oh wait guys hold

[51:09] on a second I'm like this is the wrong

[51:11] year but okay so Hudson Hawk won the

[51:13] year afterwards at the restaurant for

[51:15] worst picture you know what it beat what what nothing but trouble that's insane that shows you

[51:20] how bad the razzies are nothing but trouble deserve that award it's literally the worst

[51:24] movie in the history of everything give me 20 hudson hawks over that uh but anyway so you're

[51:29] saying uh stewart you continue so yeah and i remember i think i this movie was playing on

[51:35] cable or something when i was a kid uh so i watched it a couple times i don't really remember

[51:41] it but i have some affection for this movie um it's a lot of like goofy over the top italian

[51:47] accents uh it's a french farce so it's like you know kind of kind of breezy uh i think it sags in

[51:55] the third act uh but yeah it's fine yeah my feeling about it is like there's a soup like

[52:03] it's got a super talented supporting cast uh john landis even though he goes around murdering people

[52:10] with helicopters is a talented

[52:11] comedic director.

[52:12] Man slaughtering, Dan.

[52:14] And if you keep

[52:18] talking, it'll be Dan slaughtering.

[52:19] I think there are two issues.

[52:21] I think there are two issues with this movie.

[52:23] I think it could cut about

[52:25] ten minutes from it, and

[52:27] it's got such a, I mean, like, it's

[52:29] got, like,

[52:30] clockwork farce plotting, so that seems hard,

[52:34] but I feel like there's a lot of scenes where

[52:35] they're just like, let's cut to everyone for a

[52:38] reaction shot, and you don't need that.

[52:40] Yeah, that's the clockwork orange farce plotting, where you have to see everybody watching it with their eyes spread wide open, unable to look away.

[52:47] So there's that, and I also feel like our weak link is our lead.

[52:51] I know that you are a fan of Mr. Stallone, Elliot, but I feel like if you had, say, Nathan Lane in the lead, a guy who's still kind of big and physically imposing but is a farce guy.

[53:04] Wait, wait, what? Nathan Lane is what? Hold on a second, Dan. Have you seen Nathan Lane?

[53:09] Are you talking about the same person?

[53:11] Haven't you seen Stuart Little, dude?

[53:12] A fucking mouse kills him.

[53:14] He's a big guy, and I've seen him play imposing characters on stage.

[53:21] Dan, I saw him in Guys and Dolls, and he was not imposing,

[53:24] and he was playing a gangster in that.

[53:26] All right, but he's not supposed to be that imposing.

[53:28] He's like the lovable gangster lead, though.

[53:32] Dan, are you thinking of Lawrence Tierney?

[53:34] Are you thinking Dwayne, DJ, The Rock Johnson?

[53:38] That specific thing I said.

[53:40] Dan, are you talking about Dolph Lundgren?

[53:42] Whoa.

[53:43] Forget that specific part of what I said.

[53:46] Nathan Lane would have made this movie work, I think.

[53:49] I think you're probably right.

[53:51] I will say, this is a movie I kind of like.

[53:53] I think it's got a lot of issues.

[53:55] My main problem with it is the pacing.

[53:56] It's hard for me to dislike any movie that is trying to be a 1930s farce.

[54:02] And if it's like, the pacing is just a little too slow.

[54:06] Like you're saying, there's too many reaction shots.

[54:08] There's too much dead air around the jokes, and I think Sylvester Stallone is not the problem.

[54:13] I could see someone like Nathan Lane doing it, but it would be a different type of character because then he wouldn't be imposing.

[54:19] He's the gangster mastermind.

[54:20] But at that point, just have John Pulido do it if you're going to have someone who's like a funny gangster type who's not supposed to be like a big, strong guy.

[54:27] Or Joe Piscopo.

[54:28] But I was reading about this, and originally they wanted Al Pacino.

[54:35] Yeah.

[54:35] And instead he did Dick Tracy because he's going to get paid more money for it.

[54:38] I don't think Al Pacino would have been better.

[54:40] Like, I think Sylvester Stallone is a pretty good comedy performer.

[54:43] I think they originally were trying to put John Belushi in it before he died.

[54:50] And then it sat on the shelf for 10 years.

[54:52] Were they trying to put in it?

[54:54] John Belushi?

[54:55] That would have been very strange.

[54:56] Yeah, that would have been weird.

[54:58] Like, John Belushi has a lot of charm, but it's mostly kind of like a physical thing.

[55:04] With the idea that he's kind of an out-of-control slob gangster.

[55:07] Yeah.

[55:08] He's like a gangster kingpin who's like a real – I mean it would be him playing against type I guess.

[55:13] But I think that it's like if you – I wonder if there's a way to take this movie and literally just put it into Final Cut and edit out a ton of it and you'd have a stronger – it still wouldn't be great, but you'd have a stronger movie overall.

[55:27] Guys, I've got a Razzie's update.

[55:29] Oscar was not even nominated for Worst Picture that year.

[55:32] Oh, wow.

[55:33] It was nominated I think just in the acting and directing categories, not for screenplay, which is surprising because the screenplay is one of the issues here is that it's not – there's just like – there's a lot of business in it, but it's not really funny business.

[55:48] I say this is somebody who has tried to write farces and fallen into the same trap of, oh, they're doing a lot of stuff, but it's not really that funny.

[55:57] So I know how easy it is to fall into that trap.

[55:59] It's hard to do.

[55:59] Like to write a really funny farce is really hard to do.

[56:02] Yeah, well –

[56:03] because you kind of...

[56:04] No, I think the problem with the screenplay of this

[56:08] is that the plotting is kind of...

[56:12] The plotting is fine.

[56:14] The mix-ups and everything is fine,

[56:18] but the actual jokes within that are not funny.

[56:21] Well, and even the mix-ups are not that funny.

[56:23] It's like the way it's...

[56:25] But she was his daughter the whole time, dude.

[56:27] Well, I'm thinking more about

[56:29] every time they moved those bags around,

[56:31] I was like, God damn it.

[56:33] Like, can we stop with the bags already?

[56:35] Like, that's, I hate that stuff.

[56:37] But guys, Razzie's Update.

[56:39] So I would say it's a movie I kind of like, but it's got a lot of issues.

[56:42] Razzie's Update.

[56:42] That was the year Hudson Hawk won big.

[56:45] Wait, I thought that was the next year.

[56:48] No, I was wrong.

[56:50] It was that year.

[56:51] Because Oscar was not nominated for Worst Picture that year.

[56:53] Instead, it was a big year for Hudson Hawk.

[56:56] Kevin Costner won for Robin Hood for Worst Actor.

[56:59] Dan Aykroyd did win for Worst Supporting Actor for Nothing But Trouble.

[57:02] So I agree with that.

[57:03] But get this.

[57:04] Okay.

[57:05] Worst original song, Adam's Groove from the Adams family written by MC Hammer.

[57:10] Are they crazy?

[57:11] Get the fuck out of here.

[57:12] That is crazy.

[57:14] Everyone loves that song.

[57:16] Yeah.

[57:17] That's the one about how they do what they want to do and say what they want to say, right?

[57:20] And they kick and they slap a friend.

[57:21] Kick and they slap a friend.

[57:21] I listen to that shit on cassette tape on repeat, and I think I know a little more than Razzy's about what makes a jam.

[57:32] Yeah.

[57:33] Also nominated for his original song, Why Was I Born?

[57:36] In parentheses, Freddy's Dead from Freddy's Dead, The Final Nightmare.

[57:39] Yeah.

[57:41] Let's go get them, guys.

[57:43] Yeah.

[57:43] Whatever.

[57:44] Okay.

[57:44] Let's go get them, guys.

[57:46] So, yeah.

[57:48] Do we need to say anything more about the Oscar?

[57:50] No.

[57:51] It's just called Oscar.

[57:53] I think there was a movie called The Oscar.

[57:56] There was a movie called The Oscar.

[57:57] Yes.

[57:59] It was also supposed to be very bad.

[58:00] Yeah.

[58:02] And, of course, there's Oscar Madison, who is not a movie.

[58:06] He's just a character from another thing.

[58:08] Oh, thank you for clarifying that, Elliot.

[58:10] Yeah, so I think that's all we have to say about Oscar.

[58:14] Great movie.

[58:15] Go out and run out and see it today, right?

[58:17] Mm-hmm.

[58:17] Yep.

[58:18] Hi, I'm Jo Firestone.

[58:23] And I'm Manolo Moreno.

[58:25] And we're the hosts of Dr. Game Show, which is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners,

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[58:34] And you can win a custom magnet.

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[58:37] Subscribe now to make sure you get our next episode.

[58:39] What's an example of a game, Manolo?

[58:41] Pokemon or medication.

[58:42] How do you play that?

[58:43] You have to guess if something's a Pokemon name

[58:46] or a medication.

[58:47] First time listener,

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[58:58] really fun for the whole family we'll be every other wednesday starting march 13th and we're

[59:03] coming to max fun snorlax pokemon yes nice this is nasa uh i see a flat earth but we should lie

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[59:35] if you listen to ono ross and carrie we will tell you the truth behind the lies just kidding

[59:41] we won't do that we will just tell you the truth behind the truth because what we do is we look at

[59:46] extraordinary claims that's right we've gone undercover with alternative medical treatments

[59:52] Fringe religious groups

[59:53] Fringe science claims

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[1:00:20] This week

[1:00:21] yep we do have a couple of jumbotrons oh cool that i sent to you guys uh it looks like

[1:00:28] let's see who can get it first who can open their device faster well i've got mine ready right now

[1:00:34] so why don't i go ahead okay here's a jumbotron from them to you much review about nothing is a

[1:00:41] comedic podcast where three brothers try to review movies they haven't seen using only cultural

[1:00:46] osmosis and whatever they can find on the internet so join your hosts billy jake and luke as they

[1:00:50] don't watch movies, go on wild

[1:00:52] tangents, and jump to ridiculous conclusions.

[1:00:54] Search for Much Review About Nothing on iTunes

[1:00:57] and Spotify, and subscribe.

[1:00:58] That sounds like a funny idea for a podcast. I'll check

[1:01:01] that out. Guys, why didn't we come up with this premise?

[1:01:03] It would have been a lot less work. It would have saved

[1:01:05] us two to three hours a week.

[1:01:06] That's for sure.

[1:01:07] And so much grief.

[1:01:10] This, I believe, is

[1:01:13] a message for Alan. It's not super clear.

[1:01:15] The message is from

[1:01:17] Ben and Tristan.

[1:01:18] Last names withheld.

[1:01:20] Dear Alan, we're so sorry you had to leave us.

[1:01:23] But what do you expect when you live a perilous life of plane crashes, exotic avian disease,

[1:01:30] cars smashing into your home, and high-speed bike chases?

[1:01:34] We hope we never have to ask, what if Alan met a dinosaur?

[1:01:39] Heal up soon so we can get back to our goal of working on a movie worthy of being flopped.

[1:01:45] All right.

[1:01:47] That sounds very exciting and also terrifying.

[1:01:50] yep yeah uh so that having been done uh-huh now what do we do we can move on uh-huh to the next

[1:02:00] thing yep which uh-huh is what is uh-huh letters okay from listeners like you listeners who wrote

[1:02:07] in letters let's respond to them shall we uh the first yes let's okay thank you the first one is

[1:02:14] from j middle name with hell jameson who writes okay interesting no no way of knowing what letter

[1:02:21] that that name starts with the middle name uh dear freshly canned peaches i finally got around

[1:02:28] to seeing wreck for apocalypse i think i think that's funny that says he finally got around to

[1:02:32] seeing we all have to see wreck for apocalypse at some time in our lives boys yeah yeah and this

[1:02:39] guy finally got around to doing it uh anyway like the third movie it does away with the found

[1:02:44] footage format also like the third movie it's not very good i still have a fondness for the first

[1:02:49] two movies in the wreck series and it's strange that once it dumped the found footage angle a

[1:02:54] sub-genre of horror that is famously the first one is the first one is wreck at ralph right uh-huh

[1:02:58] yep uh i'm gonna just jump back a little so the sentence makes sense yeah rewind

[1:03:06] i have a finest for the first two movies in the rec series oh i get it wreck it ralph jesus

[1:03:11] now you get it oh now you get it oh hell it it's it's strange that once it dumped the found

[1:03:19] footage angle a subgenre and of course the sequel theodore rex oh man got that one right away um

[1:03:29] is theodore rex and oedipus rex joey yep no dan no it is not he's a dinosaur

[1:03:36] unless tyrannosaurus rex is an oedipus rex reference maybe it is maybe the term maybe

[1:03:42] they found evidence of a tyrannosaurus rex lusting after its mother i mean or murdering

[1:03:46] its father it was killing its father and pointing at its mother as lava hit the mall

[1:03:51] killed them and they were fossilized in that moment i'm very embarrassing follow me down

[1:03:56] this path guys okay i think let's do so i feel like a tyrannosaur similar to oedipus has dreams

[1:04:04] that exceed his grasp right so i think that's a fair comparison i mean i don't know if that's a

[1:04:09] fair description of oedipus no i think i'm right uh so dan yeah yes go on oh i go just it's a fair

[1:04:21] description of a tyrannosaur because his his grasp is very short okay anyway i still have a fondness

[1:04:27] for the first two movies in the rec series and it's strange that once it dumped the found footage

[1:04:31] angle a sub-genre of horror that is famously reviled by the flopcast themselves the series

[1:04:35] actually got worse which brings us to the question are there movies that you love in genres you're

[1:04:41] not particularly fond of or perhaps are there movies that almost work that would benefit from

[1:04:46] switching genres j middle name withheld jameson obvious pseudonym but i read it again anyway

[1:04:54] yep no no maybe it really is from j jonah jameson dan

[1:04:58] maybe spider-man's yeah there's a post script and enemy there's a post script that says get me

[1:05:05] spider-man the subject line was flop house threat or menace yep uh dan so i see you uh zooming

[1:05:13] around the internet on your phone do you have an answer are you trying to come up with one real

[1:05:18] quick i i well i have kind of an answer but it's funny to me i like well don't tell it then

[1:05:25] i looked i googled film genres just to like in case i like thought i like forgot of like a genre

[1:05:33] that i'm like oh yeah i really do like just like that genre i'm like scrolling through scrolling

[1:05:36] through and it's all like very basic thriller western film noir comedy and then like i go like

[1:05:41] sort of deep in the list and it goes pornographic film and i'm like well yeah i guess that's a

[1:05:47] genre oh yeah wait i'm gonna have to change my answer real quick guys yeah has there ever been

[1:05:52] a porn where you guys were like i wish this was a mainstream movie because i'm enjoying it so much

[1:05:56] yeah i mean i feel like if this porn switched genres to horror it would be uh just as affecting

[1:06:02] for me uh but dan what's your answer or dancer as some would say uh i don't have a really great

[1:06:10] one i the first thing that came to my mind when i read this question was when dunkirk was uh being

[1:06:16] uh advertised yeah oh and you want it to be a wacky comedy no i was like i i have enjoyed all

[1:06:23] of christopher nolan's movies from from one for one degree to another and uh i normally would be

[1:06:29] very excited about a new movie from him and yeah i kind of went to it out of like a weird obligation

[1:06:35] because I do not like war movies for the most part.

[1:06:40] There are genres that are sort of war-adjacent that I like,

[1:06:44] but ones that are specifically about combat I'm not particularly into.

[1:06:48] What about War of the Worlds?

[1:06:49] I call that more of a science fiction horror.

[1:06:53] Charlie Wilson's War?

[1:06:54] That's more of a satire, I guess.

[1:06:57] War of the Roses?

[1:06:57] That's a black comedy about divorce.

[1:07:00] Xena Warrior Princess?

[1:07:01] That's a television show about a lesbian warrior princess.

[1:07:05] yeah what about this means war uh that is a uh that is a comedy supposedly about some spies i

[1:07:12] think i can't remember that's a band for the band i like i like their uh horror attitude i guess

[1:07:20] cool yeah i like it okay but no i like i went to see it and i was like okay no i i really enjoyed

[1:07:26] this movie but i was it it felt like a chore beforehand because i i don't know like i don't

[1:07:32] i feel like war is like this sort of horrific thing and i kind of agree that like taking a

[1:07:38] big stand there well but i kind of agree i kind of agree that any war movie even if it's not

[1:07:45] trying to glamorize it glamorizes war a little bit and so yeah oh look at sam fuller over here

[1:07:51] yeah okay anyway so that's my answer no i well here's here was my experience with dunkirk as i

[1:07:56] was like the same similar thing i mean i do enjoy a lot of war movies but that where uh i was like

[1:08:01] this movie is going to be like three hours long

[1:08:04] and then I found out it was not and I was like oh

[1:08:06] an hour and a half and I loved it

[1:08:08] I thought it was such a good movie

[1:08:09] I hope other people watch this

[1:08:12] other directors are like oh I can make a great

[1:08:14] movie that's less than two hours long

[1:08:16] this would be wonderful

[1:08:16] so the genre you like are short movies

[1:08:20] well I guess

[1:08:21] I guess so

[1:08:23] I had a lot of trouble answering this question I don't think I really have

[1:08:26] an answer for it well I mean it's a hard question because

[1:08:28] I think that I don't want to speak

[1:08:30] The most hard about it, the hardest thing about this question is that you sent it to me this morning while I was making breakfast for my children.

[1:08:36] And so I really didn't have time to think of an answer.

[1:08:38] That's the hardest part of it.

[1:08:40] I don't want to speak for all of us, but I sort of assume that because we are all fans of movies in general, we aren't like, oh, I hate a specific genre.

[1:08:50] Like, because there are good examples in basically every genre.

[1:08:54] Yeah.

[1:08:56] At first I was like, do I – I mean like there's a lot of like cheesy romantic comedies I don't like.

[1:09:01] But I like comedies and romance.

[1:09:03] Like I like movies that are funny movies about romance.

[1:09:06] So like it's hard for me to think of a genre that I don't care for.

[1:09:09] And it seems like there are so many movies that it's like hard to think about switching a genre on a movie and not changing its DNA so significantly that it just becomes a different movie.

[1:09:22] I mean, yeah, like –

[1:09:26] like audition i mean i guess i don't think that's what he's suggesting those that were

[1:09:32] like starting with a movie and then halfway through we change although no no but i mean

[1:09:36] like there's it's not the only movie that i can really think of that kind of fits i think

[1:09:39] was saying is like how the innkeepers is mostly a comedy and then becomes a horror movie and i

[1:09:45] kind of wish it just stayed a comedy yeah you know like i don't really need the horror stuff

[1:09:49] at the end i like it i liked it so much just seeing these employees at this hotel that's

[1:09:54] closing down just kind of going about their business and thinking maybe there's a ghost

[1:09:58] around but that's but i still like that movie or not it's not that the movie almost works the movie

[1:10:02] does work i just like that aspect yeah i can't i i mean i kind of feel the same way about uh dan

[1:10:08] gilroy's velvet buzzsaw that went up uh because it like it's it's a dumb silly movie that's super

[1:10:15] fun and goofy but like the like the world building and comedy stuff is fun for me at least and then

[1:10:21] they then like people start dying and you're like oh yeah there's a horror movie uh all right so

[1:10:28] that's that basically i'm saying i think is that i feel like most movies would be improved if you

[1:10:35] switch the genre to movies with wrestlers in them okay what about the wrestler uh yeah it would be

[1:10:43] way better if suburban commando showed up and just start blasting dudes so this next letter is from

[1:10:50] John Shoemaker, real name withheld.

[1:10:52] I don't like all these format breaks

[1:10:54] we've got going on here, you guys.

[1:10:55] Well, you don't have to choose these letters.

[1:10:58] True, I could punish them for...

[1:11:00] Or you could actually change them

[1:11:02] entirely, whole cloth. Have you ever seen

[1:11:04] Can You Ever Forgive Me?

[1:11:05] So this is a

[1:11:10] three-part letter. How's Dan's name?

[1:11:12] Dan takes these letters and adds a P.S. at the bottom

[1:11:14] and then tries to sell them at, like, an

[1:11:16] antiquarian bookshop.

[1:11:17] This doesn't sound like

[1:11:19] dorothy parker yeah he would he would try and do it then after a while when they're onto him they

[1:11:23] would have me his much more charming friend do it oh i really want to see it can you ever flop

[1:11:30] give me the flop house version of can you ever forgive me okay this is a this is a triptych of

[1:11:35] questions okay okay let's uh set them next leo let's set them next to each other see if it makes

[1:11:42] see if we can fold them together to make a different picture right yeah some kind of

[1:11:46] altarpiece uh how's dan's knee doing has stewart actually punched anyone he's threatened on the pod

[1:11:53] oh shit does elliot still sing to his son sincerely john john shoemaker like real name withheld this

[1:11:58] is a cop it's a cop yeah yeah question number four hey do you guys have any drugs can i buy

[1:12:05] some from you man he's gotta tell us i have a question for you question keeper uh so dan how's

[1:12:11] your knee uh it's fine every once in a while i get some pain it's like you know 90 of what it

[1:12:18] was before i screwed it up but you know it's fine and ever since i uh stole the horse and went into

[1:12:22] the woods to pick some herbs and made a poultice for your leg it's felt much better yeah that's

[1:12:27] true uh question number movie yeah uh i liked it um the to answer your question no i uh live a life

[1:12:40] of non-violence so i don't punch anyone that i threaten on the air officer and and i sing to my

[1:12:49] kids all the time i have a song for my little baby that is called it's okay for when he's crying that

[1:12:54] tends to calm him down uh and i sing to my older son sammy quite a bit but he doesn't like it when

[1:12:59] i sing songs about him or about his brother and he'll go he'll go don't sing about me and then

[1:13:04] i'll start singing about the baby and he goes don't sing about my brother so but it's like you

[1:13:09] don't know my life dad exactly don't dad don't this you from your privileged position as a grown-up

[1:13:16] you can't see what it's like to be a kid but uh the uh one thing that i've learned about my my

[1:13:22] older son sammy is that it is impossible for him to hear music without dancing even if a car drives

[1:13:26] by with music coming out of the windows he'll dance for a couple seconds so i've been taking

[1:13:30] advantage of that just seeing him dance all right uh last question of the episode yep from steve

[1:13:37] last name withheld. Okay. Hold him

[1:13:39] to the traditional patterns.

[1:13:41] Savage Steve Holland. Okay. Oh, great.

[1:13:43] It's for Stewart.

[1:13:45] Did you guys like that dancing burger

[1:13:47] from Better Off Dead?

[1:13:49] Was it too much? Get the hell out of here.

[1:13:51] That's the best part of any movie.

[1:13:53] Did you like the dancing burger?

[1:13:57] Do you think they ripped off

[1:14:01] my dancing burger in

[1:14:03] Batteries Not Included?

[1:14:06] uh the answer is probably this is a question for stewart uh-huh cool would you rather watch

[1:14:12] would you rather watch 40 days and 40 nights one time uh-huh or eight crazy nights five times

[1:14:19] uh you know i've actually never seen eight crazy nights so this feels like uh me reaching into an

[1:14:27] empty bag of scorpions or are there scorpions we don't know and i don't know why i said it's empty

[1:14:31] because I already clearly said it had scorpions in it.

[1:14:34] And someone's like, reach your hand

[1:14:35] into this empty bag of scorpions.

[1:14:37] Okay, cool. No problem.

[1:14:38] I stopped listening.

[1:14:40] I kind of gave away there's no scorpions in there.

[1:14:41] I'm not scared.

[1:14:44] I'm going to pick Eight Crazy Nights

[1:14:49] because the other one makes me some man.

[1:14:50] Okay.

[1:14:51] That was a great letter,

[1:14:55] mostly because it led us to an empty bag of scorpions.

[1:14:58] Anyway.

[1:15:00] So let's do our last thing on the show, which is we recommend movies that we've seen and enjoyed that you should probably watch before you watch Oscar, even though we kind of like to ask.

[1:15:09] Recommendations, Oscar edition.

[1:15:11] So we haven't taped in a little while.

[1:15:20] We put out a live episode.

[1:15:21] Other stuff is going on.

[1:15:23] So that gave you plenty of time to watch a movie.

[1:15:26] Actually, I was going to say the movie I watched.

[1:15:28] I watched a while back, so I don't remember a lot about it at this point.

[1:15:31] Okay.

[1:15:32] This is all good backstory that the audience needs to know.

[1:15:35] Yep.

[1:15:36] Otherwise, I know that I enjoyed it.

[1:15:39] It's called Black Coal, Thin Ice.

[1:15:40] Did I recommend this?

[1:15:41] I don't think I did.

[1:15:42] Did I?

[1:15:42] I don't think so.

[1:15:44] I'll pretend we did.

[1:15:45] I'll find out.

[1:15:45] It's a Chinese film.

[1:15:47] It's from 2014.

[1:15:50] Black Coal?

[1:15:51] Black Coal.

[1:15:52] Coal, okay.

[1:15:53] Black Coal, Thin Ice.

[1:15:56] Didn't recommend it, guys.

[1:15:58] It's a film noir.

[1:15:59] It's about these dismembered human body parts start showing up in coal shipments all around the cities in the local cities in this area of China.

[1:16:13] And a detective is assigned to investigate, and he thinks that he solves the case.

[1:16:18] And kind of this bloodbath that haunts him for years later, he becomes a drunk.

[1:16:24] but then stuff starts happening

[1:16:26] again that's eerily similar to what

[1:16:28] happened before and

[1:16:29] you know like

[1:16:31] it doesn't like the plot doesn't

[1:16:34] like totally

[1:16:34] like shock and surprise

[1:16:38] and like hold together in the way that I kind of

[1:16:40] would like it to but the

[1:16:41] atmospherics of the movie are

[1:16:43] really good like it's just

[1:16:45] a great looking movie it's a

[1:16:48] creepy feeling movie and

[1:16:49] if you're looking for a film noir

[1:16:51] from another country it's

[1:16:53] it's very interesting and enjoyable so black coal thin ice cool sounds cool uh i'm gonna recommend

[1:17:02] a movie from last uh actually uh yeah i think it was from last year it might have seen a release

[1:17:07] this year it's a movie called piercing uh it's a i guess american or western movie uh based on

[1:17:15] a novel by a japanese author uh i'm probably gonna mess this up ryu murakami the author of

[1:17:23] the novel that the movie Audition was based on, the movie I mentioned a little bit ago.

[1:17:26] It's a movie about a man who is driven by an urge to kill, and for fear that he might take

[1:17:35] this urge out on his newborn child, he instead pretends he lies to his wife about going out of

[1:17:43] town on a business trip, and instead goes to a hotel and hires a prostitute with the intention

[1:17:48] of murdering her um and then uh it kind of spins out of control from there and it ends like it's

[1:17:55] this very carefully crafted movie um the a lot of the exteriors are all done with miniatures

[1:18:02] and it it feels very uh stylized without being kind of hokey and the performances are all really

[1:18:13] cool and it ends up being a horrifying movie that is also a movie kind of about like connection

[1:18:21] and communication um and i found it to be like i found it to be really interesting it doesn't

[1:18:27] offer i feel like it brings up a lot of questions it doesn't really offer answers but uh i recommend

[1:18:33] it all right guys i'm gonna recommend a movie that later today will either win an academy award

[1:18:41] or will not win an Academy Award.

[1:18:43] And this is one of the movies nominated

[1:18:45] for the Best Documentary category.

[1:18:47] It's called Minding the Gap.

[1:18:50] Oh, cool.

[1:18:51] And it's a movie by Bing Liu,

[1:18:52] which is about him and these two other young men

[1:18:56] who are all skateboarders

[1:18:57] and basically following their lives

[1:19:01] as three guys growing up in this very kind of like mid-sized,

[1:19:05] I guess, town in Illinois

[1:19:07] that does not have a lot of

[1:19:10] promise for young men

[1:19:12] who are trying to make lives or careers

[1:19:14] and how each of these three guys

[1:19:16] one is black, one's white

[1:19:18] and the director is Chinese

[1:19:20] how they kind of like

[1:19:22] grow up in different ways

[1:19:24] and how the

[1:19:25] as it unfolds you realize

[1:19:28] they've each been the victims in some way or another

[1:19:30] of abuse by

[1:19:32] their fathers and how they now

[1:19:34] see themselves as men growing up and

[1:19:36] how they kind of deal with the

[1:19:38] with the past that they've been given

[1:19:40] and I'm being kind of vague about it

[1:19:42] if only because I went into

[1:19:44] it having heard a little bit about it

[1:19:46] but not knowing how these guys lives were going to

[1:19:48] turn out and it meant that I

[1:19:50] really felt like I was seeing these guys

[1:19:52] unfold in front of me in a way that was surprising

[1:19:54] and interesting so I really liked a lot

[1:19:56] it's a real heavy movie

[1:19:58] it's very emotional but there's also a lot of sweet

[1:20:00] skateboarding footage in it

[1:20:01] they throw in a lot of bloops

[1:20:04] a lot of dudes smashing their nuts did i mean not loops but guys do fall down a lot gleam a cube

[1:20:11] was a cube gleamed at any time i don't think any cubes are gleaned but uh it's interesting to see

[1:20:19] like skateboarding is one of those sports that's always been interesting to me because it's like

[1:20:22] no matter how good you are at it you will still keep falling down and the only way to get good

[1:20:28] at it is to fall down a lot so like even if you're really talented from a young age you still fall

[1:20:33] down a lot at it and the skateboarding really becomes kind of like a metaphor for life in a way

[1:20:37] like the frustrations of it and the need to get back on the board even once you've fallen down

[1:20:42] and gotten angry uh and how important it is to keep on living so anyway minding the gap i liked

[1:20:47] it a lot but it's a it's an emotional movie it's like not a it's not a movie to sit down and be

[1:20:51] like oh this will be a fun movie i feel like there's a lot of there's a lot of documentaries

[1:20:55] that i've heard a fair amount of buzz about that are all going into the academy awards this year

[1:21:00] And I don't know if it's just like the way that streaming services have made it possible for more documentaries to find audiences or whether like the renewed interest in true crime has led people to an interest in documentary style stuff.

[1:21:16] I don't know.

[1:21:17] I do think that for all that people – people who make big movies that get shown in movie theaters don't like streaming services because it means people watch stuff in their homes instead of in the theaters, which I have mixed feelings about.

[1:21:29] Because, yeah, it's great to see stuff in the theaters, but I don't have time to go to the theaters all the time.

[1:21:33] I'd much rather have the opportunity to watch a movie where it's convenient for me.

[1:21:37] You work for me, movie makers.

[1:21:39] But I do think that the streaming services have been very good for documentaries because it provides a market for them that didn't exist before.

[1:21:46] There are a lot of documentaries that previously would have been shown at festivals, would have gotten some kind of maybe DVD release that wouldn't go much of anywhere.

[1:21:55] But now the streaming services are so hungry for material and people are, I think, more likely to watch one at home than they are to go to a movie theater to see a documentary.

[1:22:04] And so like it's – I think it's really – and like I think Hulu – I don't know if they produced it, but like it's branded as a Hulu documentary.

[1:22:13] They must have – either they put up money for it or they did the distribution for it or whatever.

[1:22:19] But like if Hulu is putting money towards this kind of project, then like that's great.

[1:22:24] I don't know what other major media outlet is putting up, maybe like HBO is putting up money for that kind of documentary stuff, aside from streaming.

[1:22:34] Streaming, I think, has been very good for funding and distribution for documentaries.

[1:22:39] Not so great for small movies because even though they get distributed, they don't get theatrical runs a lot, and they just end up as one of the – you may also like thumbnails on your thing, but for documentary, I think it's been good.

[1:22:53] and that's Ellie Kaelin talking about something

[1:22:55] he doesn't really know that much about.

[1:22:56] Okay.

[1:22:58] Great episode, as always.

[1:23:00] But anyway, that's my way of saying,

[1:23:02] if you have Hulu, you can watch this documentary right now.

[1:23:05] Cool. Dan, what do we do now?

[1:23:06] Now we sign off.

[1:23:08] I hope that this Oscar episode

[1:23:11] has been filled with all the glitz and glamour

[1:23:13] you were looking for.

[1:23:14] I mean, I am wearing a tuxedo.

[1:23:15] And, you know, I guess

[1:23:17] we'll meet back here in one year

[1:23:19] and watch Oscar all over again.

[1:23:22] I should have read the fine print on the contract.

[1:23:26] But thanks, guys.

[1:23:29] Thanks for listening.

[1:23:30] Go to MaximumFun.org.

[1:23:32] Listen to a lot of other great podcasts we got there.

[1:23:35] Yeah.

[1:23:36] Tweet about us.

[1:23:38] Fleet about us.

[1:23:39] Meet about us.

[1:23:41] Yeah, why not?

[1:23:41] Cheat about us.

[1:23:42] Wait a minute.

[1:23:43] Hold on.

[1:23:44] Don't do that.

[1:23:45] Please leave a review for us on iTunes or wherever you download your podcasts.

[1:23:50] Please continue to support Maximum Fun and please, yeah, help us spread the word about the Flophouse.

[1:23:56] Okay.

[1:23:57] Well, you guys are great.

[1:24:00] I love you both.

[1:24:01] Wow, thanks.

[1:24:01] Dan, are you dying?

[1:24:03] What's going on?

[1:24:04] We'll talk about it off air.

[1:24:06] For the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCormick.

[1:24:09] Hey, I guess I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:24:11] And I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:24:14] And over here on the couch, done with my nap, it's me, Sylvester Stallone, ready to go with you guys to see Hamilton.

[1:24:20] on the great white way yeah now that you live in la are you able to put more context to all

[1:24:38] the porn you watch whenever i walk into a house i'm like oh so that's why they do it this way i

[1:24:43] see yeah that's why they design houses this way we need more room for the cameraman to watch uh

[1:24:52] you know the uh the aging but beautiful old uh dilf uh dilf what is that dad i'd like to fuck

[1:25:01] oh oh i see the uh i thought it was like a uh i don't know like a dragon i mean that i'd like to

[1:25:08] I feel like that's an oxymoron.

[1:25:11] You mean a redundancy?

[1:25:13] Yeah, thank you.

Ep. #278 - Oscar Review Special

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