Ep. #285 - Serenity

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Serenity.

[0:04] Based on the hit show, Firefly.

[0:07] No, not that one.

[0:08] Oh, what do we watch?

[0:30] Hello, and welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:38] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:39] Oh, hey, Dan McCoy.

[0:40] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:41] This is Elliot Kaelin, and I'm joined by a very special guest, our friend and everyone

[0:47] else's friend, even though she's never been on the show before.

[0:50] Jenny Jaffe, everybody.

[0:51] Hey, guys.

[0:52] Jenny Jaffe, for people who aren't familiar from the many podcast appearances she's made

[0:55] on other podcasts.

[0:56] Yes.

[0:57] Is a comedy guru, I guess.

[0:59] Wow.

[1:00] And really like, they call her like an institution in the world of comedy.

[1:05] Wow.

[1:06] Yeah.

[1:07] No, I'm very old.

[1:08] I have to ask, a guru to whom?

[1:11] Who are her acolytes?

[1:15] You have that comedy school, right?

[1:17] I do, yeah.

[1:18] I mean, it's out of the back of my house, and it's like mostly my dog, but like he can

[1:23] be my guru for sure.

[1:24] Yeah, it's called Backhouse Dog School for Comedy.

[1:27] Yeah.

[1:28] You know, you have a house going to brag on the podcast.

[1:31] Los Angeles is a magical place.

[1:35] Yeah, you can buy houses there.

[1:37] It's amazing.

[1:38] Jenny, I think we first got to know you through the Star Wars Minute podcast.

[1:42] Yeah, I think it's funny.

[1:44] I think we were like legitimately fans of each other's podcast appearances because I've been

[1:48] a flopper for like since the Flophouse started.

[1:51] No, I'm sorry.

[1:52] No, it's, I appreciate that.

[1:56] No, it's like a crossover episode for me in my own personal life.

[2:01] Oh, cool.

[2:02] Yeah.

[2:03] But I, yeah, I was like Star Wars Minute, and then I did like an episode with Dan and

[2:08] Stewart, and then I wrote a thing for you, and then we started.

[2:11] Oh, that's right.

[2:12] Yeah, you wrote a thing for me for the President's people too.

[2:15] Yeah.

[2:16] So it's, and Jenny and I have been working together on a project that we hope to announce

[2:20] someday.

[2:21] Someday, maybe.

[2:22] A television project.

[2:23] A television project.

[2:24] So, but she's here to talk to us about what movie, Dan, or what do we do on this podcast,

[2:28] Dan?

[2:29] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie, and then we talk about it.

[2:33] Oh, yeah.

[2:34] And I don't want to tip my hand, but why did we watch this movie for the podcast, guys?

[2:38] Oh, wow.

[2:39] Yeah, I mean, this is a story about a war veteran who is trapped on a boat called Serenity.

[2:46] That's right.

[2:47] The movie's trapped on a boat.

[2:49] Same joke as the intro.

[2:52] Oh, yeah, but what about this joke?

[2:55] Joss Whedon made it.

[2:57] Oh, man.

[2:58] Oh, boy.

[2:59] Oh, hilarious.

[3:00] Good stuff.

[3:01] Well, I've never watched Firefly, so that's as much as I know about Firefly and Serenity.

[3:05] So this, so Dan, we, there's this movie called Serenity that came out.

[3:10] Yeah.

[3:11] This might be the shortest.

[3:12] We don't usually need to explain that part of movies, Elliot.

[3:15] So anyway, actors got in front of cameras, and they said these lines, and then they edited together into a movie, and then they released it.

[3:22] But when they released it, they barely advertised the movie.

[3:27] It's almost as if they didn't want people to see this movie.

[3:29] And the amazing thing is that Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway, the stars of this movie.

[3:33] Elliot, I have a question.

[3:34] Is it because the movie was, in fact, too hot for TV?

[3:38] That's exactly the case, yep.

[3:42] They could only sell it through mail order on a TV commercial late at night.

[3:46] I remember news at the time saying that the stars of the movie were upset that the movie was not getting the promotion they thought it was – they had been promised it would get.

[3:54] And the reason it didn't get the promotion it was supposed to get was because test audiences disliked the movie so much that they were just trying to bury it.

[4:01] I remember, like I actually saw the trailer for this because I'm the kind of person who sits around watching a whole bunch of trailers on the computer.

[4:08] I like that you said that, Dan, as if we didn't already teach that.

[4:10] Yeah, yeah, during work hours, right?

[4:12] No comment.

[4:13] No, no.

[4:14] Dan's work hours are mainly spent tweeting whatever comes into his head.

[4:17] He makes it up as he goes along.

[4:19] Like everyone's Twitter is not whatever comes into your head.

[4:25] Not carefully curated jokes and whatever.

[4:28] Yeah, exactly.

[4:29] You know what?

[4:30] I'm going to defend Dan's Twitter presence.

[4:31] I think it's been great so far.

[4:33] Wow.

[4:34] Lately it's been so good.

[4:36] That's a very hot take.

[4:38] Bad guest alert.

[4:40] Bad guest alert.

[4:41] No, I appreciate the support for once against you two bullies.

[4:46] But what was I saying?

[4:49] Oh, I saw the trailer.

[4:50] So you're the kind of guy who sits at home watching trailers on your computer in your underpants.

[4:53] Yes, and how did you find it?

[4:55] Thanks for the improvicist.

[4:57] I kind of found the trailer kind of intriguing and like big stars and all this stuff.

[5:04] I'm just like, oh, okay.

[5:05] Maybe I'll take a look at that when it comes out.

[5:08] Yeah, you went over.

[5:10] You copied the link to comingsoon.net.

[5:14] Sent it to mom with the caption, interesting.

[5:18] Dot, dot, dot.

[5:21] My mother lives half of the country away.

[5:25] I don't know why I'm making a serenity date with her.

[5:29] I mean, I don't know.

[5:32] Maybe she's into video games and shit.

[5:34] Spoiler alert.

[5:35] Yeah, but the point is.

[5:37] Big spoilers still.

[5:39] But the point is, Dan, you saw it and you said, I can't wait to see this movie.

[5:42] This is going to be great.

[5:43] I wouldn't say that, but I was interested.

[5:45] And then I had no idea that the movie had come and gone in the theaters when it finally arrived.

[5:51] So speaking of moms and serenity, there is no movie that I feel like I received as much advance warning from people.

[5:59] Oh, this is going to be a flop house movie as this.

[6:01] And my mom, who she just follows any Hathaway on Google, probably any Hathaway.

[6:07] Well, because Anne Hathaway, you're probably familiar.

[6:09] Yes.

[6:10] Went to school into my high school a year behind me.

[6:13] Only comes up on the flop house all the time.

[6:15] Jenny.

[6:16] Oh, OK.

[6:17] So because you guys, you guys used to date.

[6:20] You have a tour in history.

[6:21] Yeah.

[6:22] Yeah.

[6:23] Used to used to date.

[6:24] Best friends, still blood brothers.

[6:25] The.

[6:27] So my mom still says like, oh, Annie has a new movie out and stuff like that.

[6:30] And but I never really knew her.

[6:32] So she's like she's like, did you see this movie?

[6:34] Annie's in.

[6:35] It sounds like you should do this on the flop house.

[6:37] And was sending me.

[6:38] And it's like my mom has never recommended a movie for the flop house before.

[6:41] This is amazing.

[6:43] But yeah, she didn't even win a contest or anything.

[6:47] I was like, mom, you got to win a poorly defined contest.

[6:50] You're going to tell us what's going to be on the show.

[6:51] But Jenny, you when I I mentioned this movie and you were chomping at the bit,

[6:56] or as Dan would say, because he's a pedant, chomping at the bit.

[7:00] You were like, I got to talk about this movie.

[7:02] You love it so much.

[7:03] I was.

[7:04] Well, so I saw it in theaters having also like I think I just read some article that was like,

[7:09] this is one of the most bizarre movies I've ever seen in theaters.

[7:12] And I was like, great, I'm going.

[7:13] So I took my friend Casey and we went to there was only showing at either 3 p.m.

[7:18] or 11 p.m. in Burbank.

[7:20] So we went to like 11 p.m.

[7:22] And it was really clear that half the audience were sort of hipster jerks like us

[7:27] who really wanted to laugh at a bad movie.

[7:29] And the other half were people who were like, oh, boats and stars.

[7:32] Let's see what this is about.

[7:34] And so you can smell the salt water coming off their Tommy Bahama shirt.

[7:39] I haven't been this excited about a movie since that one with Robert Redford where it's just him on a boat.

[7:44] The whole movie.

[7:45] Yep.

[7:46] Oh, man, the gun, which is about him being an old man.

[7:50] Oh, wait, is there a gun in it?

[7:52] There is also a gun.

[7:54] Spoiler alert.

[7:55] But so being of all is lost.

[7:57] That's the name of it.

[7:58] All is lost.

[7:59] Otherwise known as Robert Redford gets hit in the face with water for an hour and a half.

[8:02] And nobody says anything.

[8:04] Jenny, so you went to see it.

[8:06] The movie, half the audience just didn't know what they were in store for.

[8:11] And it was the most like amazing communal theater going experience I've ever had.

[8:16] It was like truly we all were so unified by the end, like the people who were there for something good were like cheering and laughing.

[8:25] And like it was became this interactive experience.

[8:28] And then we all like outside right right outside the theater just all met up to talk about it and make sure we'd all seen what we thought we'd seen.

[8:37] You're still friends.

[8:38] You still keep in touch with all the people in that theater.

[8:40] We are all Instagram friends.

[8:42] And I did like immediately text Elliot, as I'm sure many people did.

[8:47] And then I think I did Jordan, Jesse, go like two days later.

[8:50] And Jordan Morris and I were.

[8:52] You talked a lot about it.

[8:53] We talked a lot about it.

[8:55] And if anyone's a fan of Jordan, Jesse, go or not, that Jenny's episode is a great episode.

[8:59] Thank you.

[9:00] You should watch it.

[9:01] There's some really funny stuff in there.

[9:02] Adult.

[9:03] Watch it.

[9:04] Are you my dad?

[9:07] OK, so.

[9:08] So set your Tivo or whatever to go in case there's a rerun of it.

[9:12] Yeah, it was.

[9:13] It was.

[9:14] I was really excited to watch it.

[9:15] Then Jordan gave me a poster of Serenity for my birthday.

[9:18] Wow.

[9:19] Super nice to frame it.

[9:21] Is the poster.

[9:22] Is that the official poster, the one they use as a thumbnail on Amazon with like, yeah, two faces split by like, I don't know, like a bloody, bloody boat wake or something.

[9:33] It's like the boat is leaving blood in its wake.

[9:36] It's causing a rift between Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway, who has different hair on the poster than she does in the movie.

[9:42] I think because they realized the blonde hair was a mistake.

[9:44] Yeah.

[9:45] Like it's too late.

[9:46] They they they.

[9:47] Well, they were trying.

[9:48] But Dan, what were they trying?

[9:49] Can you.

[9:50] Dan, I.

[9:51] Here's my challenge.

[9:52] I'm going to give you the Serenity challenge.

[9:53] Hold Serenity in your mouth for an entire episode of the podcast, spitting it out by telling us what happens in Serenity.

[10:00] All right, so the movie opens underwater and then it like zooms out over the water toward

[10:08] a boat while the music swells as if a boat in the ocean is the most ominous fucking thing.

[10:13] Oh, wait.

[10:14] Real quick, Dan.

[10:15] Dan, how did we get to that water?

[10:16] Isn't it through a child's eye?

[10:18] Yeah, don't we see a child's eye and then zoom in to find the water?

[10:21] But you're right.

[10:22] I was like, right off the bat, that boat is in the water and the music is like, duh, duh,

[10:26] duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.

[10:27] And I was like, did I enter the middle of the movie?

[10:30] Yeah, yeah.

[10:31] And just a correction.

[10:32] Most movies begin underwater.

[10:34] It isn't until they start selling tickets that they make their money.

[10:37] All right.

[10:41] Dumbest joke on the podcast?

[10:43] You decide.

[10:44] No.

[10:45] Wonderful joke.

[10:46] I'll take it.

[10:47] Whatever.

[10:48] I love it.

[10:49] Stuart was doing the inside of this joke.

[10:50] Whatever.

[10:51] You don't know me.

[10:52] You don't know my family.

[10:53] Shit just got real.

[10:55] So Dan, we're on the water.

[10:57] Who's on this boat?

[10:58] What is this boat?

[10:59] So there's four guys on this boat.

[11:02] Two of them aren't important.

[11:04] You won't see them again in the movie.

[11:06] They're two drunk guys who have charted the boat.

[11:09] And then the captain of the boat is our pal, Matthew McConaughey, and he's got a second

[11:13] mate played by Jaiman Honsu.

[11:16] Is that the correct pronunciation of that?

[11:18] I think it's close.

[11:19] I mean, it's it's close enough that we'll give you a partial credit.

[11:24] How would you say it?

[11:25] I don't know.

[11:26] I'd have to Google it.

[11:27] All right.

[11:28] I think it's pronounced David Hansen.

[11:30] Okay.

[11:31] Wow.

[11:32] So these guys charted the boat.

[11:35] Wait.

[11:36] What's Matthew McConaughey's character's name?

[11:37] Do you remember?

[11:38] Oh, yeah.

[11:39] I may just say that.

[11:40] He has the unlikely name of Baker Dill.

[11:43] The name of like a guy who puts herbs in his loaves, I guess.

[11:52] Right off the bat, I do want to say this is the best McConaughey has ever looked, in my

[11:56] opinion.

[11:57] We've watched it with two female friends now, and we have both agreed this is a big waste

[12:02] of the best his arms have ever been.

[12:03] Better than angels in the outfield, Matthew McConaughey?

[12:06] I like a grizzled McConaughey.

[12:08] Better than the beach bum?

[12:10] He's supposed to be like a wasted kind of like, not beach bum exactly, but like, yeah,

[12:15] like always in the sun, like, like throwing his life away with rum and things like that.

[12:21] But he looks amazing.

[12:22] He looks so good.

[12:23] It's it's it's it's almost wrong for this character.

[12:25] He should have a big belly at this point.

[12:27] Yeah, and like a grizzled beard.

[12:28] But instead, he's just got like he's in great shape.

[12:31] He's just washing his butt all the time.

[12:33] Frequently nude in the movie.

[12:35] I mean, he's kind of like, well, just imagine I'm a I'm a young boy.

[12:39] He's kind of like what I would imagine my hot dad would look like.

[12:45] And you would frequently be imagining your hot dad's butt if you were a young boy.

[12:50] Like he also as he would be the kind of dad who just walks around with no clothes on all

[12:54] the time.

[12:55] Oh, yeah.

[12:56] He's one of those naked families.

[12:57] Yeah.

[12:58] You can't have friends over.

[12:59] Really?

[13:00] No.

[13:01] And now your dad might walk through with his butt hanging out.

[13:02] Now, guys, it could have been a product of the the TV I was watching it on.

[13:05] But when when he strips down, it looks like he has a noticeable like whale tail tan line

[13:11] on his butt.

[13:12] We're like, it looks like he's he clearly wears a G string.

[13:16] Well, your thoughts, Elliot.

[13:18] I mean, I can't I couldn't see that on my TV.

[13:21] I can't speak to the undergarment preferences of.

[13:24] Oh, maybe maybe maybe I need to change my TV settings.

[13:27] Well, you have it on that whale tail setting.

[13:30] Right.

[13:31] But you're looking at you're on motion smoothing and tailing.

[13:35] They set that at the factory because old people don't know what things are supposed to look

[13:39] like on their TVs.

[13:40] Oh, no, I'm going to get an angry email from Todd Vaziria on this one.

[13:43] He's going to be like, I told you to turn off all your filters, all of them, all the

[13:47] settings.

[13:48] Dan.

[13:49] OK, so they're out on that boat.

[13:50] What's he doing out there?

[13:51] Huh?

[13:52] What does Matthew do?

[13:53] What's his obsession?

[13:54] Does he have one?

[13:55] His thing is he's a charter boat captain for mostly, I assume, rich assholes who want to

[14:00] go big fish fishing.

[14:04] There's a way of saying like sport fishing.

[14:07] They're like hunting for marlins and stuff.

[14:10] And so sport fishing.

[14:13] OK, so he's I mean, as opposed to sustenance fishing, they're not going to eat the fish

[14:20] afterwards.

[14:21] Yeah.

[14:22] I mean, sometimes you do.

[14:23] Yeah, you do tune it.

[14:24] But like, do you eat?

[14:25] I guess I guess you can know that those guys, they're going to they're going to catch that

[14:28] big tuna and they're going to lacquer it up so they can put it up over the over the couch

[14:31] in their den.

[14:32] Don't you scrape out the insides and eat them first and then like stuff it or something?

[14:36] I think I mean, I could be wrong.

[14:39] It seems like you kind of then you sew the fish's skin.

[14:42] I don't I don't know about that.

[14:45] Are you saying that the fish that are on the walls in bars and and whatever and sing at

[14:49] you?

[14:50] They all have guts.

[14:51] Well, the one that's the big mouth billy basses don't have guts.

[14:55] Instead of guts, they have animatronic elements.

[14:58] Yeah.

[14:59] But that was once a live fish before this stuff goes in there.

[15:02] It's like the death lock of fishes.

[15:04] It's just it's a it's a cyborg now.

[15:07] So, Dan, so there's what he's he takes people out for sport fishing.

[15:10] But how does this trip go with these two drunk guys?

[15:13] Well, he catches his his dream fish, his his bet noir fish.

[15:19] He and they're on.

[15:21] It's on the line.

[15:22] And what's the name of this famous tuna that he's always chasing?

[15:26] Justice.

[15:27] And he's so he's so Captain Ahab over this tuna that he will not allow the sport

[15:34] fishermen to take over.

[15:36] It's like get in the back and he threatens him with a knife.

[15:39] And we are introduced to the idea that Matthew McConaughey is a little crazy,

[15:43] particularly when it comes to this fish.

[15:45] And yeah, in his pursuit of justice is what you're saying.

[15:49] He's got this fish on the line.

[15:52] He's got this fish on the line.

[15:54] He thinks it's all out of fight.

[15:56] He gets jam on Hansu over to, you know, he's got a big hook.

[16:00] It's going to hook that thing in.

[16:02] And it escapes.

[16:03] And Matthew McConaughey basically breaks down and wails at the heavens saying

[16:08] Yeah.

[16:09] Yeah.

[16:10] He does a lot of that in this in this movie.

[16:12] He's yelling at the sky.

[16:14] Oh, also, because he's so obsessed with this tuna, these guys don't pay.

[16:19] And he's like we introduced in these scenes to two important things about Matthew

[16:24] McConaughey.

[16:25] He wants this tuna and he's so obsessed with this tuna.

[16:28] He doesn't have any money.

[16:30] And so what does he do next?

[16:32] Is that when he goes to Diane Lane?

[16:34] That's what we see.

[16:35] We see that guy in the business suit on the beach.

[16:37] Oh, yeah.

[16:38] There's this nerdy business suit guy.

[16:40] Wow.

[16:42] He's clearly played as a nerd.

[16:44] A little judgmental.

[16:48] The serious minded fellow in glasses.

[16:50] Yeah.

[16:51] Yeah.

[16:52] Tries to wade out into the into the water in his suit for reasons we do not

[16:56] understand as of yet.

[16:57] Yeah, it's a real.

[16:58] And we will never understand that aspect of it.

[17:02] Why was he just going out in his full suit into the water?

[17:06] He's always trying to get to Matthew McConaughey or Baker Dill,

[17:09] I should say.

[17:10] As we learn, this suited man is trying to get Baker Dill's attention,

[17:13] but he's always just like a few seconds too late.

[17:15] Like as every time Baker Dill's boat is leaving the dock,

[17:18] this guy runs up and is like, Baker Dill, Baker Dill.

[17:22] Yeah.

[17:23] And as we learn the identity of this man, we realize, wait a minute,

[17:27] it doesn't make any sense.

[17:28] He's like late showing up to plan.

[17:30] It doesn't make sense.

[17:31] Yeah.

[17:32] Can you rewind the tape when I made the Edward Nygma joke?

[17:35] Can you change it to Clock King?

[17:36] Because I think it's more appropriate.

[17:40] Yeah.

[17:41] And it just keeps happening in a way that like halfway through the movie,

[17:44] I say to the TV, just go to his house.

[17:46] And like in the next scene, he just goes to his house and finds him.

[17:50] I think house is being charitable, but we can go on.

[17:53] He lives in a giant shipping crate like Wally.

[17:59] So I think this is speaking of houses, he goes to someone's house.

[18:02] So I believe this is the point at which he manufactures a fight

[18:07] with his trusty second mate because he's worried about the fact

[18:12] that he basically can't pay him anymore or is that later?

[18:14] That's a little bit later.

[18:15] That's a little later.

[18:16] First, Baker Dill goes to his only source for reliable money

[18:19] in these troubled economic times.

[18:21] Diane Lane, a character in this movie that does not pay off in any way.

[18:26] I mean, she pays off by giving him money.

[18:29] In exchange for sex.

[18:31] And talking about her cat a whole bunch.

[18:33] Yeah, it's weird.

[18:34] She keeps talking about her cat and I'm like, OK, I get it.

[18:36] That's juvenile.

[18:37] But then she'll be watching him through her blinds

[18:40] because her only role in the movie is to have sex with Matthew McConaughey

[18:44] and then watch him through Venetian blinds.

[18:46] Apparently, her window looks out on every part of the island they live in

[18:49] because no matter where he is, she can see him through her blinds

[18:52] and says like, there's my kitty, there's my cat.

[18:55] And I'm like, wait, so Matthew McConaughey was the cat?

[18:57] I don't understand.

[18:58] I thought she was referring to her vagina.

[19:00] There is also a literal cat.

[19:02] But I think that when you see the cat.

[19:04] Oh, she does have a real cat.

[19:05] Yeah, because Matthew McConaughey picks him up and is just like,

[19:08] I know where you're supposed to be.

[19:10] Hold on, that wasn't it.

[19:11] No, that was a great.

[19:12] Actually.

[19:13] All right.

[19:14] All right.

[19:15] We should say something about the setting of this movie, Dan.

[19:17] So it's set where?

[19:18] Oh, OK.

[19:19] So this is this movie, at least to begin and, you know,

[19:22] like not to spoil too much about.

[19:24] But, you know, there's a big twist coming.

[19:26] But so at the beginning of this movie.

[19:28] I do want to this.

[19:30] What?

[19:31] I really just quickly wanted to say what Diane Lane's first line is.

[19:35] I'm so sorry.

[19:36] I had to pull it out.

[19:37] We meet them in in media res while they're doing it.

[19:41] I had written it down.

[19:42] I just had to look it up.

[19:43] And it's I am increasingly fond of the way you say hello.

[19:49] Just had to say that real quick.

[19:51] Sorry about that.

[19:52] No, it's fine.

[19:53] I believe what I was saying.

[19:54] Like to start this movie comes off as a classic slice of.

[20:00] Sun-Drenched Noir.

[20:03] Sweaty Noir, yeah.

[20:05] Yeah, this is going to be down south,

[20:08] although we later learn we don't know where Plymouth is,

[20:11] tale of sweat and sex and betrayal.

[20:15] Yeah, yeah.

[20:16] It reminds me of, Dan...

[20:17] Somebody cue up Black Velvet on the jukebox.

[20:20] Yeah.

[20:21] I want to introduce a new character that I've been thinking about

[20:24] ever since I saw this movie.

[20:26] I don't know if you remember this voice.

[20:28] This is a character I've invented called Craw Daddy.

[20:32] If I could introduce him here, he goes...

[20:34] I'm glad you're workshopping it with us.

[20:36] If I could workshop this character for everybody, okay?

[20:38] I'm ready.

[20:39] And then we can just send this in as my SNL audition tape.

[20:41] That would be fantastic.

[20:42] Okay.

[20:44] Well, well, it's me, Craw Daddy.

[20:47] I grew up in a Louisiana bayou, but now I'm a suburban dad.

[20:52] In my youth, I wrestle gators.

[20:55] Now I drive a Kia.

[20:58] That's pretty much the whole character.

[21:00] Wait, hold on.

[21:01] So, wait, the fact that he is a daddy,

[21:03] so you're saying that there's something called a Craw and he's a dad.

[21:06] Yeah.

[21:07] But it's a play on the word Craw Daddy.

[21:09] Craw Daddy, yeah, exactly.

[21:10] If I could explain some more, okay.

[21:11] Yes, please.

[21:13] You know, growing up,

[21:15] sometimes the heat gets so bad you couldn't even blink.

[21:19] Now I bring orange slices to the soccer games.

[21:24] Now why would the fact that he's a suburban dad change the heat?

[21:29] Well, because he doesn't live in it.

[21:31] Let him explain, explain.

[21:33] Okay, he moved away.

[21:35] I was born in a shack in the bayou,

[21:39] but I moved to Connecticut for the school districts.

[21:43] So he's a suburban dad now.

[21:45] Well, you guys can't see it, but Elliot, like,

[21:47] it's like his whole physique changed.

[21:49] Like he's melted into this character.

[21:51] This is a really good character.

[21:52] Yeah, imagine if you can imagine Dr. John.

[21:55] Yeah.

[21:56] Oh, I can.

[21:57] He's like a musical Paul Perdomo.

[22:00] Well, he's basically Dr. Teeth from Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

[22:04] Yeah, that's true.

[22:05] Yeah, very much so.

[22:06] He's not a puppet though, right?

[22:08] No, no, no.

[22:09] He's a live action character.

[22:13] Yeah, that's pretty much the character, yeah.

[22:15] I don't know.

[22:16] I can go on if you want.

[22:17] No, it's fine.

[22:18] I guess I was just looking for one more.

[22:19] Well, well, well, let's just climb into my fan boat

[22:22] so we can get over to that PTA meeting.

[22:26] Perfect.

[22:27] So anyway, that's my character, Crawdaddy, who was inspired by this movie.

[22:31] Didn't know there was a lot of fan boats in Connecticut.

[22:35] I mean, it's on a tow on his car,

[22:39] on the Kia Sportage that I mentioned earlier.

[22:42] Still, I mean, it doesn't sound safe.

[22:43] I mean, I don't think you're supposed to ride in those

[22:45] on a flatbed attached to your Kia, but that's okay.

[22:49] No, no.

[22:50] I mean, it's, again, Crawdaddy plays by his own rules.

[22:53] Growing up, well, I did.

[22:55] You got to play by your own rules.

[22:57] I also have to follow the Homeowners Association guidelines,

[23:01] and that's why I can't have a basketball hoop in the driveway.

[23:05] So anyway, that's my character, Crawdaddy.

[23:08] So to return to the movie for a moment at least.

[23:14] So McConaughey, now that he has the money to pay, he's like,

[23:18] be there tomorrow.

[23:20] We're going to go out again.

[23:22] And Chai Manhansu is like, do we have anyone scheduled to go out and pay us for this?

[23:28] And he's like, no, we're just going to go out and look for that tour.

[23:30] Real quick, Dan.

[23:31] So the thing I like about Crawdaddy is it's a real fish-out-of-water situation.

[23:37] Yeah, I mean you don't expect a guy who comes – he grew up in a swamp,

[23:41] wrestling gators with his pee-paw.

[23:43] You don't expect him to have to worry about his house tax, his property taxes.

[23:49] It's kind of like a My Blue Heaven.

[23:51] It's this universal character of the middle-class suburban dad.

[23:56] Everyone understands it.

[23:59] Okay, so returning to the movie.

[24:02] So they have no luck catching fish,

[24:05] and this means that McConaughey has not made any money that day.

[24:10] And so this is when that conversation I was remembering earlier happened.

[24:15] Where he does a Harry and the Hendersons.

[24:17] Oh, same joke.

[24:20] Yeah, he basically does it like to Chai Manhansu.

[24:22] He's like, go on, kid.

[24:23] I don't like you anymore.

[24:25] He wants him to get a job with real money because Chai Manhansu,

[24:29] he can no longer afford to pay him.

[24:31] If he could ever pay him, the job was assistant to an obsessed man hunting after a tuna

[24:35] because it reminds him of his long-lost son in some way.

[24:39] And in case I don't get to these – it just occurred to me.

[24:42] In case I don't get to these explicitly later on into the show because they're kind of sprinkled throughout rather than being major plot points.

[24:51] You know, Crawdaddy would say that, sprinkled.

[24:53] Oh, god.

[24:55] He'd say sprinkled trout.

[24:57] Two things I want –

[24:58] Sprinkled trout? I don't understand.

[25:00] Two things I want to say about Plymouth is you learn early and often that everyone knows everything about each other

[25:07] because there's a lot of gossip going on.

[25:09] And number two –

[25:10] They love telling Baker Dill what's going on in his life.

[25:13] They'll be like – he'll be at the bar and he'll be like,

[25:15] Baker, you've been spending too much time going after that fish.

[25:18] Heard you had a fight with Duke.

[25:19] Why don't you want him working on your boat anymore?

[25:21] And it's like, why are you telling me what happened in my life?

[25:23] I don't understand.

[25:24] So that's one thing that's true.

[25:26] And another thing that's true is when he drives around in his truck, there's a – there's like one radio station.

[25:32] And the guy, the DJ, his stuff seems suspiciously tailored specifically to Baker Dill.

[25:40] You said the same thing about your relationship with Don Imus, right?

[25:46] Look, he told me to kill, so I killed.

[25:49] The guy on the radio is always like, beautiful day out here, but the time is – well, you don't care what time it is.

[25:55] Just go out and get that fish.

[25:57] You just want that fish.

[25:58] And it is like in the future where – like he's listening to a podcast that someone makes just for him.

[26:04] Like media has become so fragmented that it's literally a Baker Dill-specific radio show that he's listening to.

[26:11] And the reasons are made clear later in the movie, but early on it's like, what the fuck is this radio station?

[26:17] So my friend who I was watching it with yesterday pointed out that some of what is happening in this movie might be forgivable if it was a play

[26:26] because everybody is constantly talking in this way that feels so weird for the genre.

[26:32] People are constantly talking at Baker Dill.

[26:35] They're talking about other people who aren't there, and it's like you just saw this happen.

[26:39] If it was all just happening in this one setting, it would kind of make sense, and the performances might be a little more forgivable.

[26:45] I'm not saying it's a Broadway play, but I'm saying if you saw this at community theater.

[26:50] Yeah, there's like a black box theater, and they have people with a big blue sheet to be the water.

[26:55] There's a dream ballet with a tuna.

[27:00] Jenny, you have to produce this now.

[27:03] Oh my god. Honestly, I would be honored. I would love to produce Serenity.

[27:07] It's not a musical. It's just a straight drama with a dream ballet.

[27:11] With a dream ballet. I mean every good play circa 1953 needs a dream ballet at some point.

[27:18] Absolutely. I love that Death of a Salesman dream ballet.

[27:21] Oh, yeah. Wonderful. When he dreams about selling things.

[27:24] Yeah. And then he dreams about dying. Have either of us seen it?

[27:29] I think I've seen it four times.

[27:30] Great. Good.

[27:32] Okay.

[27:33] Hey, it's time for another episode of Famous People Elliot Saw on Stage.

[27:36] Oh, god.

[27:37] Because I saw Death of a Salesman, two Broadway productions.

[27:39] One, of course, with Brian Dennehy. Amazing.

[27:41] Oh, wow.

[27:42] And one with…

[27:43] FX himself.

[27:44] What?

[27:46] The guy from FX is what I'm saying. Brian Dennehy.

[27:48] Yeah. FX is Brian Dennehy. And the other with…

[27:52] If you say Brian Brown, I'm going to lose my shit.

[27:56] And the other with Philip Seymour Hoffman. And they're both great.

[27:59] Played the character in very different ways.

[28:01] Just goes to show you, when it's that good a text, there's a lot of different room for interpretation.

[28:07] Inside the Anchor Studio, I'm Elliot Kalen.

[28:10] Well, I just saw Michael Shannon in a play, and I saw his wang as part of that.

[28:16] Oh, cool.

[28:17] So, what play was this?

[28:18] Frankie and Johnny and the Clair de Lune.

[28:20] Oh, okay.

[28:22] It was good.

[28:24] What was the context of you seeing Michael Shannon naked?

[28:27] Oh, that was later.

[28:28] Well, bust into him in the changing room?

[28:30] I think…

[28:31] No, I think both of the acts opened with the two leads having sex,

[28:36] and a lot of the beginning of it was just played in the nude.

[28:39] And do you think the script features the moment where he pinwheels around?

[28:44] I think that was added in later productions.

[28:47] Oh, cool. Okay.

[28:48] But by now, it's become basically text.

[28:51] Exactly.

[28:52] So, before I figured out the twist, or actually, that's not true.

[28:56] I think everybody kind of figures out. They don't dole it out as well as they think they do.

[28:59] The twist in this movie is pretty foreshadowed.

[29:02] Yeah, they foreshadow it a lot.

[29:04] But when we were talking about the setting, I kept being like, where is this island?

[29:10] I watched this with my wife, and she was like, where is this supposed to be?

[29:13] And so we were like, I was looking up Plymouth Island online to see if it was a real place.

[29:17] It is not a real place. Spoiler alert.

[29:19] If anyone wants to go live the Baker Dill lifestyle and follow in his footsteps.

[29:24] But, yeah, the movie, it's like, and I wasn't sure if the movie wanted us to be asking that question

[29:30] or if it was just too bad at covering its tracks.

[29:34] Guys, what do you think?

[29:36] Which question?

[29:38] Does the movie want us to be wondering where Plymouth Island is?

[29:42] Or is that because they're not doing a good job of misleading us?

[29:46] Look, I think I speak for most Americans' understanding of geography.

[29:54] Where I was like, yeah, sure, there's a Plymouth Island somewhere.

[29:59] I mean.

[30:00] I wasn't like, oh, this is a clue.

[30:01] Yeah, I mean, that was like the first thing I did

[30:04] was Google Plymouth Island, question mark, and yeah.

[30:08] My first thought was like,

[30:10] oh, it's like off the Florida Keys somewhere,

[30:12] and then it was like, okay,

[30:13] maybe it's like French Caribbean,

[30:15] and it just kind of becomes this weird mishmash of things,

[30:18] and then I'm like, okay, wow,

[30:20] there's this very aggressive radio DJ.

[30:22] I don't know where we are.

[30:24] You Googled most aggressive DJs.

[30:27] Yeah.

[30:28] So I don't quite remember.

[30:31] Everything's jumbled up at this point.

[30:33] What was the next scene?

[30:34] The next thing was when our femme fatale enters the film.

[30:37] Can you explain?

[30:37] Who's this?

[30:38] Oh, it's that early.

[30:39] Okay, it's Anne Hathaway with a bad blonde, I assume wig,

[30:45] and she is playing, at least you think at the start,

[30:50] she is playing the femme fatale of the movie,

[30:55] and I say playing advisedly,

[30:59] because it feels like Anne Hathaway

[31:01] is like playing other movies that she's seen,

[31:04] which is not such a bad thing,

[31:06] considering that like this movie

[31:07] is really steeped in other movies, but.

[31:09] It feels, and it plays into the twist later

[31:13] that she is more of a character than a full person,

[31:16] although there's two things about,

[31:18] one is that she is supposed to be his ex-wife,

[31:21] and they were supposed to have gone to school together,

[31:23] and she is 15 years younger than him,

[31:25] so before I, when I knew this was just.

[31:28] There is a line about her saying

[31:29] that she was finally old enough.

[31:31] Oh, that was so upsetting and creepy,

[31:33] because it must have mean he was in his 30s at the time,

[31:36] when she was 18.

[31:37] I do want to say quickly, this movie hates women so much.

[31:40] Oh, yeah.

[31:41] And it's so egregious,

[31:44] the way that they treat Anne Hathaway and Diane Lane.

[31:47] She is so much obviously younger than Matt McConaughey

[31:50] that when I didn't know what this movie was about,

[31:52] I just knew it had a twist.

[31:53] I was like, oh, I bet they fall in love,

[31:55] and it turns out she's his daughter.

[31:56] That was my guess of the twist.

[31:57] Oh, cool.

[31:58] You thought it was old boy?

[31:59] I thought it was old boy.

[32:00] Spoiler alert for old boy.

[32:02] We only had a bunch of guys with a hammer.

[32:05] And then I looked up, and I looked up,

[32:07] and apparently Uma Thurman was supposed

[32:09] to play that role originally,

[32:10] which makes a lot more sense age-wise,

[32:12] but instead they cast Anne Hathaway,

[32:15] and so they keep talking about, yeah, back at school,

[32:17] the two of us, oh, I went to the reunion,

[32:19] and it's like, so was he held back so many,

[32:22] is he this character from Days to Confuse

[32:24] where he's just hanging around the high school all the time,

[32:26] even as he gets older?

[32:27] What's going on here?

[32:28] Their reunion happened,

[32:29] and they were the only two people not there.

[32:31] What a weird high school.

[32:34] Everyone went.

[32:36] The, Elliot, according to IMDb's trivia,

[32:40] Uma Thurman was originally supposed

[32:41] to play the Diane Lane character,

[32:43] not the Anne Hathaway character.

[32:44] Then it really doesn't make sense to me.

[32:46] Okay, never mind.

[32:48] I think Uma Thurman would have been good

[32:49] as the Anne Hathaway character.

[32:50] She might have even been better selling it.

[32:52] Well, the weird thing is that apparently

[32:54] Estelle Getty was supposed to play

[32:55] the Anne Hathaway character originally,

[32:58] and then it would have been like,

[32:59] wait, isn't she much older than him?

[33:01] But it happens.

[33:02] These Hollywood casting things,

[33:04] they go around the other way sometimes.

[33:06] And what do we learn about Anne Hathaway, Dan?

[33:08] What do we learn about her?

[33:10] Basically, we learn she's his ex-wife.

[33:14] They had a kid together,

[33:17] and the guy that she ostensibly,

[33:22] presumably left him for,

[33:23] is this horrible character

[33:27] who's just gotten worse over the years.

[33:29] I think he's kind of shades of gray,

[33:31] but we'll get to that.

[33:33] This violent gangster who's an asshole to everybody

[33:35] and hits her with a belt, you know?

[33:37] Anne's a pedophile.

[33:39] Supporting this character, even ironically,

[33:40] may have you walking a razor's edge, Stuart.

[33:45] And we learn about their son,

[33:46] that she mentions he has a talent for computers.

[33:48] So, like Donatello, their son Patrick does machines.

[33:53] Oh, thanks for explaining it so I can understand it.

[33:55] I don't need to put it in Stuart terms,

[33:57] which usually involves either Ninja Turtles

[33:58] or tiny miniature people that you paint,

[34:02] and they're made out of metal.

[34:03] Yeah, so when you say playing,

[34:06] you're talking about an actor performing

[34:08] and not the way somebody would play a video game,

[34:11] for instance.

[34:12] He's talking about the way people play Warhammer.

[34:14] This movie's really about tiny people

[34:17] moving around on a board.

[34:19] So, and occasionally I get angry

[34:21] and throw my dice across the room.

[34:24] And so, Dan, what's the deal she tries to make with Dick?

[34:27] Yeah, she's like, hey, let's get out of this bar.

[34:30] I need to talk to you privately.

[34:32] And they go to his boat,

[34:33] and he's hooking up some bait while she's telling him,

[34:38] look, my new husband is beating me.

[34:41] He's terrorizing our son, presumably beating him too.

[34:47] And I want you to take him out.

[34:49] I've arranged, well, through a series,

[34:52] like very unlikely things, I have to say.

[34:54] She finds him, like the unfindable.

[34:57] You're taking a stand.

[34:58] She finds this unfindable guy by Facebook

[35:01] where she makes connections with some old high school pals

[35:04] who just, one of them happened to go on a charter boat,

[35:06] and they see him in the background.

[35:08] It's also, this movie could be taking place

[35:10] any time in the past hundred years

[35:12] until she mentions Facebook.

[35:13] And I was like, wait, hold on a second.

[35:15] What?

[35:16] This is a world with like cell phones and stuff?

[35:18] Like, hold on.

[35:19] Yeah, so that's unlikely event number one.

[35:21] Unlikely event number two is once she found out

[35:23] where Dil was, she was able to specifically convince

[35:27] her abusive husband to go to this specific charter boat

[35:31] and get chartered out and get some fish.

[35:34] I mean, first off, we gotta hand it to this prop work

[35:36] that McConaughey's doing, chopping up that fish.

[35:40] It's like when, who is it?

[35:42] Charlotte or is it Miranda?

[35:44] I can't remember.

[35:44] Always night lotions or like, I remember,

[35:48] there was like a SVU episode I saw

[35:50] where they were talking to a male stripper

[35:53] and he was like hanging up his G-strings

[35:56] on like a little drying rack in his kitchen.

[35:59] It was so awesome.

[36:01] Like, you can stop doing that and talk to these people.

[36:04] You don't have to do that while they're there.

[36:06] This movie does like an insane job.

[36:09] Some movies, I think, jump to murder in a way

[36:11] where you're like, wow, that seems like he could've done

[36:14] a bunch of other things in the interim

[36:15] or that doesn't seem justified.

[36:17] This movie goes out of its way to justify

[36:19] the murder way too much.

[36:21] They're like, oh, here's $10 million to do it.

[36:23] Like, okay, honestly, it should be like,

[36:26] hey, he's beating me and our son.

[36:28] Great, Dayenu, that's the justification.

[36:30] Or even in a movie like Dublin Demnity,

[36:35] which is like the urtext for this kind of stuff,

[36:37] it's like, I don't like my husband.

[36:39] He's rich.

[36:41] Kill him and we'll make this money

[36:42] off the insurance payment.

[36:44] And so it's like a real moral thing

[36:46] because it's like, oh, is it worth it?

[36:49] I mean, this woman has beguiled me and I want her,

[36:52] but is it worth selling my soul, basically?

[36:54] But when it's like, here's $10 million

[36:56] and the man you're gonna kill

[36:57] is the worst person since Hitler.

[36:59] Like, what a moral test.

[37:02] Like, it's so weighted in favor of the audience

[37:05] being like, just kill him.

[37:06] I'm on the shoulders of a character

[37:08] who has threatened guys with a knife over a fish already.

[37:13] But the way he handles that fish,

[37:14] like you're saying, Stu,

[37:15] like, no wonder Jiro dreams of sushi

[37:17] when Matthew McConaughey's cutting it up with that bod.

[37:20] I think it's like a Quint sequence,

[37:22] like how Quint is always doing something

[37:24] like kind of tough and like a little bit scary and weird.

[37:27] There's also, he's like, it's just really funny

[37:30] because it's like, wait, so you took someone out on a boat.

[37:32] You're butchering a fish.

[37:33] Are you gonna cook it right now?

[37:34] Like, what are you, is this the right time

[37:36] to be cleaning that fish?

[37:36] Well, he's gotta butcher it like that

[37:39] so he can put it on his wall.

[37:40] Oh, okay.

[37:41] That's how it works.

[37:42] He can put all the machines in

[37:43] to make his big mouth billy bass.

[37:46] He is baiting the hooks,

[37:47] just like she is putting out some bait for him.

[37:50] Yeah, I think I should clarify this

[37:52] because I don't think we've said it explicitly yet.

[37:54] Like, what Anne Hathaway wants

[37:56] is him to take her husband out on a charter boat

[38:00] and push him off and leave him for the sharks to eat.

[38:03] This movie is so much fun

[38:04] with playing with the word hooks.

[38:06] At one point, he's like,

[38:06] I'm a hooker who can't get a hook or something.

[38:10] Dan Lenz is like, you're a hooker.

[38:12] And he goes, yeah, a hooker who can't afford hooks.

[38:14] And it's like, you did it.

[38:16] You squared the circle, boys.

[38:18] So after this conversation,

[38:20] Matthew McConaughey is like,

[38:22] nope, I'm not gonna just kill a dude.

[38:25] I'm not gonna take him out on the boat.

[38:28] You're barking up the wrong tree.

[38:30] And I believe this is when he goes back to his-

[38:32] But just to clarify, he's a man, not a tree.

[38:36] Okay, go on.

[38:36] I don't know, he's pretty wooden.

[38:44] So Dan, is this when,

[38:45] are we gonna skip to the next morning

[38:47] when Matthew McConaughey takes his new dip in the ocean?

[38:50] Yeah, he goes out fishing, he comes home,

[38:52] and Diane Lane, who's been peering out the window

[38:56] at him talking to Anne Hathaway, jealous over whoever-

[39:00] The magic, evil queen from Snow White window

[39:03] that shows her all the in the goings-on of Plymouth

[39:05] when she asks it to.

[39:07] So she sees the two of them together

[39:08] and then she shows up at McConaughey's shack, let's call it.

[39:12] It's a shipping container.

[39:13] Yeah, yeah.

[39:14] And she's real cash, sort of-

[39:18] Super cash.

[39:19] Super cash, just being like,

[39:22] so, there's a pretty lady.

[39:24] So who's that pretty lady?

[39:26] What's going on?

[39:28] And Matthew McConaughey doesn't wanna talk about that

[39:31] and his solution, I guess, is to say

[39:34] he's gotta take a shower and he strips down

[39:37] and you see his butt, and I gotta say,

[39:39] the way he's jiggling around,

[39:41] you really should also see his penis.

[39:43] Clearly his penis is bundled up

[39:45] so it won't jiggle below the butt line.

[39:48] At one point.

[39:49] I don't know, I mean, he's probably wearing

[39:51] a modesty pouch, that's pretty standard.

[39:53] Like a modesty pouch could contain McConaughey.

[39:56] It's a modesty mouse.

[40:00] Yeah, he, they needed an entire, they needed to, an entire mouse.

[40:03] So he jumps in the water.

[40:05] Maybe not, actually mice are pretty small now that I think about it.

[40:08] He cliff dives and while he's like...

[40:11] That must hurt so much that he cliff dives feet first into the water, right?

[40:16] So like his penis is smacking into the ocean.

[40:18] His taint and balls are so calloused from doing this every day.

[40:23] I mean, Ellie, you prefer he go belly first off the cliff?

[40:27] I'm not really sure what you're arguing for.

[40:29] Maybe jumping off the cliff with no clothes on, but you're right, Stuart.

[40:31] He must be, the first time he did this, it must've hurt so much.

[40:34] But he's like, if I do this every day for years, eventually it won't even bother me.

[40:38] Because when he hits the water, the look on his face is like, hmm.

[40:41] Like he just walked through a puddle.

[40:42] Like it's amazing.

[40:43] He's so tough.

[40:44] So tough that during his nude swim, he has a vision of his son in the water,

[40:48] which is like really, it's really creepy.

[40:50] They do like a nirvana cover at each other.

[40:52] Oh yeah, you're right.

[40:53] That's exactly what's going on.

[40:54] And it's, Dan, does he, his son, they seem to have some kind of psychic connection, right?

[40:58] Yeah, because then he wakes up at it.

[41:01] Like this was like, you know, reality edging into a dream sequence.

[41:05] And he wakes up from this crazy underwater dream.

[41:09] And there's like water next to him on the table.

[41:12] And he's like, you know, mystified and amazed by this water.

[41:16] And meanwhile, we cut to this boy who has spilled his drink.

[41:22] And he's rubbing his hand through the water.

[41:25] Just like Matthew McConaughey is rubbing his hand through water.

[41:28] And I have to say, it makes sense for McConaughey to be rubbing his hand through the water

[41:32] because he's mystified by how that water got there.

[41:34] For the boy to just spill his drink and rub the water around is a lot weirder.

[41:38] This boy has issues.

[41:40] I don't want to say anything that could be considered offensive.

[41:43] Like I don't want to make light of people who have problems interacting with reality.

[41:47] So he's, you know, withdrawn.

[41:49] He's withdrawn.

[41:50] He's very withdrawn.

[41:50] So there's part of him that's like, you have to assume he's touching water

[41:53] because it's just him.

[41:54] It's a way of interacting with reality.

[41:56] Because otherwise, yeah, it's some kind of scrying pool or something.

[41:59] Yeah. And otherwise, he's too busy with his NAMM video games.

[42:02] The boy's always playing on his computer all the time.

[42:04] And most of the time we watch him, it's one of those shots

[42:06] where it's through the inside of a computer screen

[42:09] and we see his face with like code in front of him.

[42:12] And then also fishing in front of him at one point.

[42:14] Like it's very clear.

[42:16] Like the first time we see him in front of a computer screen,

[42:18] it's like there's like a fishing game.

[42:20] It's like, oh, come on, movie.

[42:22] Also, this movie is made by an old person

[42:24] because that's not the game a teenager makes.

[42:27] A fishing game?

[42:28] Yeah. No, not at all.

[42:29] You mean Catch the Trout is not a hot new title?

[42:33] I mean, unless it's like a Leisure Suit Larry Catches the Trout

[42:36] or something like that.

[42:37] Yeah, because a lot of kids are fucking playing Leisure Suit Larry now.

[42:41] They were when I was a kid, when their parents were not at home.

[42:46] So is this next part where,

[42:50] is this the scene where Jason Clarke arrives in town?

[42:54] Yeah, the husband, the bad husband.

[42:56] The bad husband arrives, surprising Anne Hathaway who loudly squeals,

[43:01] oh, you weren't supposed to arrive until tomorrow

[43:03] and he has chartered a jet.

[43:05] Yeah, her reaction is intense.

[43:08] So much reaction.

[43:09] She's been surprised by her abusive husband.

[43:12] No, I guess you're right.

[43:13] No, no.

[43:13] But you'd think she'd be better at hiding it.

[43:16] What?

[43:16] Stuart, now we're on the bad dad rankings, is he?

[43:18] He's not a bad dad soccer dad.

[43:20] Like what kind of bad dad is he?

[43:22] This is a tough one.

[43:24] He's not a bad dad, rad dad.

[43:27] Although Jason Clarke does make a meal out of this role.

[43:32] It's really tough.

[43:33] I mean, he is, I mean, he is coded as the worst person in the universe.

[43:39] Yeah, so this is the most like,

[43:42] like I remember when I was watching Little Shop of Horrors

[43:46] and I pretty quickly jumped on the train of like,

[43:48] oh, this dentist needs to die.

[43:51] And I feel like Jason Clarke beat like,

[43:54] he like beats, beats that out within seconds.

[43:57] Like there are, it's almost like how in the beginning of Up,

[44:01] Pixar was like, we are going, you know, when Bambi's mom died,

[44:05] we are going to beat that in moments.

[44:06] Well, I mean, yeah.

[44:07] I mean, let's, let's say how we beat that,

[44:10] making Jason Clarke a bad guy.

[44:12] He shows up and he immediately demands that Anne Hathaway just robe.

[44:18] And then he like...

[44:18] Wait, wait, wait.

[44:20] So he can examine her?

[44:21] He puts on his reading glasses.

[44:23] I mean, wait, wait, wait.

[44:25] That was literally the next thing I was going to say.

[44:27] He bends down.

[44:28] He puts his glasses on in such a clinical way that watching with my

[44:32] girlfriend, she's like, is he a doctor?

[44:35] That is much more what it seems like.

[44:38] And I thought he, she maybe had some kind of tattoo that was a map of

[44:42] the island that was like, there was going to be treasure somewhere.

[44:46] And she was like the, like, at first I was like, oh, that's

[44:49] the, that's the twist.

[44:51] Anne Hathaway is the map.

[44:52] It's like in Waterworld.

[44:53] She's got a map on her butt on the island.

[44:56] So he's got to inspect it and be like, oh, yes, the treasure is here.

[45:01] Well, instead he's examining her butt so closely because he's looking

[45:06] for marks on there that I guess would suggest maybe she's doing

[45:10] something while he's not around.

[45:12] I'm not really sure why he's so, other than being completely controlling

[45:15] like why he's obsessed with this particular thing.

[45:17] I think he wants a perfectly blank canvas on which to do his work.

[45:21] Okay.

[45:21] Well, he sees a scratch on her, which means that she must be punished

[45:26] and the scene ends with him taking off his belt.

[45:29] Yeah, it's super gross.

[45:30] And it's all really disgusting and sordid in a not fun way, but I

[45:34] will say Jason Clark, his accent in this movie, he's, it's not even

[45:39] as good as my crawdaddy accent.

[45:40] I think it's a crazy accent.

[45:41] Where is he from?

[45:42] Do you think?

[45:43] He's from like bad guysville.

[45:45] We're talking about the actor, Jason Clark, not the actor.

[45:49] Jason Clark, the actor, he does.

[45:51] I mean, his accent in other movies is usually great because he's

[45:54] Australian, right?

[45:55] But he's a, but in every movie, he's got a, you know, fine American

[45:59] accent, but this one, it's like, it's like somehow all the worst

[46:03] elements of a New Jersey accent and a Philly accent and a southern

[46:06] accent in one accent.

[46:08] I thought it was supposed to be from Boston.

[46:10] I thought they were like trying for Boston.

[46:12] Maybe it's Boston too, but it's just like basically like the

[46:14] kind of accent where you're like, oh, this guy's a criminal of

[46:16] some kind.

[46:17] Yeah.

[46:18] The, and the way he's dressed, I feel like there's, there's an

[46:22] assistant right off camera with a spray bottle, just spraying him

[46:26] down to make him look grosser and wetter.

[46:28] Everyone's so wet in this movie.

[46:31] There's, it's raining with Crisco the whole time.

[46:34] I mean, you know, I like that because I feel like it calls back

[46:38] to like, there are a lot of like 90s, like Florida noirs and like,

[46:41] I like the, just the sense that everyone is constantly sweating

[46:45] through their shirt either because it's hot or because it's too

[46:48] sexy.

[46:48] It's like, it's like a, it's like a Heaven's Prisoners or a Wild

[46:51] Things or a, you know, it all goes back to Body Heat.

[46:54] Body Heat's a super like sweaty movie.

[46:56] This does feel like two steps removed from a Zalman King movie.

[47:00] Two steps.

[47:01] For the beginning, yes, but that, but that's one of the things I

[47:05] like about it, but we'll get to that later.

[47:08] So, you know, Jason Clark goes down to the boat that his wife has

[47:14] presumably chartered for him and Matthew McConaughey is like, nope,

[47:20] can't take you out.

[47:20] Regulations say, it's just me.

[47:22] I can't have just me and you on a boat and no one else to help out.

[47:26] Oh, that, that probably checks out.

[47:28] I guess the movie's done, huh?

[47:29] Yeah, that's it.

[47:31] It's about a man who was denied a fishing trip.

[47:34] Jason Clark says, wait, someone in my life said no to me.

[47:37] That's what I needed, limits, so I can define myself by who I want

[47:42] to be and not who I feel the urge to be.

[47:45] Thank you, Baker Dill.

[47:46] Thank you for showing me the way and then he says to Anne Hathaway,

[47:49] he gets down on his knees and he says, I have so much to make up

[47:52] for. Will you give me a second chance?

[47:54] I know I don't deserve.

[47:56] Can you find it in your heart?

[47:57] And she looks to the heavens and Jesus says, yes, my daughter,

[48:00] forgive him and just winks and she says, okay.

[48:03] I'll do as our Lord would and I'll forgive you and they open up a

[48:06] missionary orphanage somewhere.

[48:07] And Matthew McConaughey's like, where's that tuna?

[48:13] You know what?

[48:14] That is a crazy twist.

[48:15] The crazy twist is this was a Christian movie the whole time.

[48:20] No, yeah, he will not be denied, Jason Clark.

[48:25] And he says, tomorrow I'm going to come.

[48:28] I'm going to give you ten grand to take me out and you're going to

[48:30] do it. And you know, he walks off.

[48:33] He stops away and Baker Dill boat zooms off.

[48:36] And once again, we did mention before it happens another time to the

[48:39] guy in a suit runs up going, Baker Dill, Baker Dill.

[48:42] I need to talk to you.

[48:43] Oh, okay.

[48:47] So I must admit, I don't know quite what happens just after that.

[48:51] There's a bunch of stuff where everyone's telling Baker Dill.

[48:55] Basically, everyone in town is just repeating to him what's going on.

[48:57] We know you're obsessed with fish.

[48:58] You know that your ex-wife's husband is abusive to her and they're

[49:04] doing it away like like they're gaslighting him or something like

[49:09] these people are staring at him and acting behaving like they're weird

[49:12] alien robots.

[49:13] Yes.

[49:13] Yeah, and that's a very good way to put it and and Duke is like we

[49:17] should take this guy out fishing.

[49:18] We need the money and Dill's like, okay, but Dill tells Anne Hathaway

[49:22] whose character's name I can never remember.

[49:23] Is it Karen?

[49:23] Karen tells Karen.

[49:25] I'm not going to kill him.

[49:26] And she says, and she says, oh, by the way, when you talk Patrick can

[49:31] hear you.

[49:32] You're connected with him and Patrick can hear you through his computer

[49:35] screen.

[49:35] That's what Patrick says.

[49:36] And this is Patrick's idea.

[49:39] It was Patrick's idea for Dill to take out his stepdad and kill him.

[49:42] Yeah.

[49:43] Yeah.

[49:43] I wanted to clarify.

[49:45] I think you already kind of have that.

[49:47] I think I forgot to say something very important, which is

[49:50] This is a movie.

[49:51] Mikaela asked Anne Hathaway about their son and she talked about a lot

[50:00] about how he was withdrawn entirely into computers

[50:04] and he plays games all day and you're like,

[50:11] oh, that kid that we keep seeing at the computer is his son.

[50:14] We understand all that and but it's at this point.

[50:20] He's in his room and we can hear through the door

[50:24] his stepdad yelling at his mom.

[50:26] At this point, I was like, oh, I know what the twist is.

[50:29] Let's see if you, the audience, can guess.

[50:32] Matthew McConaughey should have turned to the camera

[50:33] and said, have you figured it out yet, folks?

[50:35] All right, all right, all right.

[50:36] We're gonna be revealing it in about 20 minutes.

[50:38] See how close you got, Crawdaddy.

[50:41] Oh, wow, that's a big name to be playing Crawdaddy.

[50:46] Yeah, in the movie, well, I wanted to get, again,

[50:48] cast as Crawdaddy in the movie since it was my character

[50:50] that I do on television, on SNL,

[50:52] but they wanted a bigger star,

[50:53] so Matthew McConaughey's gonna play Crawdaddy.

[50:55] I think he's good casting, he's good casting.

[50:57] I believe him as a guy who raised in the swamps

[51:02] among the moss and the gook,

[51:04] who's now living the middle-class life

[51:06] in a suburb of Connecticut.

[51:08] He works in insurance, that's why he's in Connecticut, too,

[51:12] and he's always embarrassing his kids

[51:14] with his down-home bayou knowledge,

[51:16] but that's what gets them out of the jams, too,

[51:18] is all those things he learned wrestling gators

[51:20] and catching crawdads and shooting Nutria on a boat.

[51:23] Wait, Stewart, I think you're getting,

[51:23] is Ellie talking about Crawdaddy again?

[51:26] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[51:28] He's about to clarify what kind of jams

[51:30] his kids are getting into.

[51:33] Ellie, I think we should just abandon our other TV project

[51:36] and just pursue Crawdaddy.

[51:37] I think we have to, yeah, at this point.

[51:39] I mean, it's kind of what God put me on this Earth to do.

[51:42] I mean, I kind of assume that this was your low-key pitch

[51:46] for Crawdaddy in general.

[51:47] Yeah, this is our back-door pilot.

[51:50] We are not halfway through the movie,

[51:52] and we've already gone almost an hour,

[51:54] which I don't have a problem.

[51:55] I don't have a problem.

[51:56] Listeners, write in and tell us

[51:57] how much you loved Crawdaddy.

[51:58] We'll give him his own show.

[52:01] I actually don't have a problem

[52:02] with how far we're going over just yet

[52:04] because this movie deserves it,

[52:06] but we are going very slow.

[52:08] I'll stop talking about Crawdaddy

[52:09] for a little bit longer.

[52:12] So they take Jason Clarke out,

[52:14] and he's talking about, I hate my son, Patrick.

[52:16] He's so crazy and weird.

[52:18] He's always playing a computer game about catching a fish,

[52:20] and this is when you know an English person

[52:22] wrote this movie is he goes,

[52:23] yeah, well, his maths teacher says he's real smart,

[52:26] and it's like, well, hold on a second.

[52:27] Maths teacher?

[52:28] Did he say that?

[52:29] I didn't even catch that.

[52:31] Or maybe I misheard it,

[52:32] but that's what the captions also told me

[52:34] was that it said, I put the captions on

[52:35] because I was like,

[52:36] it's so much grumbly mumbling from Matt McHoney,

[52:39] and I'm like, maths teacher.

[52:41] Someone must have caught that, right,

[52:42] that we don't say maths in the United States?

[52:44] Or Jason Clarke just said it

[52:45] because he memorized the lines

[52:47] in his backwards Australian way.

[52:50] He was like, this is how we talk about it.

[52:52] And he's like, my stepson even threatened to kill me,

[52:55] and there's one cop in Plymouth.

[52:57] He's out of town on vacation.

[52:58] So if someone were to kill me,

[53:00] or if I were to kill somebody else,

[53:01] I'd be, there'd be no law.

[53:03] I can do whatever I want.

[53:04] Like, they're just stacking the deck so hard in this.

[53:06] There's also a lot of stuff

[53:06] talking about the underage sex workers.

[53:10] Yeah, I think so, yeah.

[53:10] It's horrible.

[53:11] Yeah, I think you're skipping ahead a little bit

[53:13] and maybe confusing people.

[53:14] Like, Anne Hathaway comes,

[53:16] she's like trying to convince him again.

[53:20] Matthew McConaughey is like,

[53:20] yeah, I'll take the 10 grand,

[53:22] but I'm going out tomorrow.

[53:23] Three men will be on the boat,

[53:24] and three men are coming back on the boat.

[53:26] Like, I'm not gonna kill them.

[53:27] And so, like, he does take this guy out in the water,

[53:31] and he has this amazing monologue

[53:33] where he admits to all the most evil things at once.

[53:38] Directly, it was directly lifted

[53:40] from Richard III, if I'm correct.

[53:42] Yeah, I think you're right.

[53:43] And Richard III also ends with a fake-out

[53:45] where you think that they're gonna push him in the water,

[53:47] but instead they come back having caught a big shark.

[53:50] Yeah, and at this point,

[53:51] it was written by William Sharkspear.

[53:54] There are, at this point,

[53:56] there are a lot of meaningful close-ups

[53:58] on Jaimon Honsu's face as he's putting it together.

[54:01] He's like, oh, this guy's an asshole who needs to die.

[54:04] Probably that fancy lady came by

[54:06] to try and get my guy to kill him,

[54:08] and, you know, whatever.

[54:10] He's, like, got all the pieces at this point.

[54:11] Oh, I made a note here.

[54:12] They come back, that's when Karen tells him

[54:14] it was Patrick's idea to kill his stepdad,

[54:16] and she says, he wants justice.

[54:19] Justice, isn't that the name of that famous tuna fish

[54:22] that Matthew McConaughey is famous for wanting to catch,

[54:24] and everyone in Scotland's talking about it?

[54:26] This movie is amazing.

[54:27] And it was really, like, at that point,

[54:29] it's like, oh, you said the secret word,

[54:31] because that's what makes Matthew McConaughey be like,

[54:34] all right, I'll kill him.

[54:35] I think we also skipped over something kind of important,

[54:37] which is that the way he gets Jaimon Honsu back on the boat

[54:40] is he's like, I need you to deliver me from temptation.

[54:43] Oh, yeah, that's right.

[54:43] He's like, your job is you're gonna be on the boat,

[54:46] and you're gonna stop me from doing something I shouldn't.

[54:48] Yeah, yeah.

[54:49] That's, you're right.

[54:51] Right, so they come back to land,

[54:53] and Jaimon Honsu's taking him out for a drink,

[54:56] and he's like, yeah, tell me about Temptation,

[55:00] because he wants him to get-

[55:01] Temptation Island, now on NBC.

[55:04] I think it was a Fox show.

[55:06] What?

[55:07] Fox normally doesn't play that lowbrow.

[55:09] You're right.

[55:10] NBC's must-see TV lineup, it was Friends,

[55:13] The Single Guy, Seinfeld, and Temptation Island.

[55:16] And Jaimon Honsu is playing Jiminy Cricket here.

[55:20] He's like, you're a good man.

[55:26] Don't kill that dude.

[55:30] They have this conversation while they're like,

[55:32] surrounded by a, like a Caribbean rainstorm, right?

[55:35] Yeah, like a tropical storm.

[55:39] And in the storm, something happens that I forgot,

[55:42] like back at a shack.

[55:43] So he doesn't go back to his shack.

[55:44] He goes to his boat where he meets up with Karen,

[55:48] his ex-wife.

[55:49] They have a late night rendezvous.

[55:53] She comes on to him pretty hard,

[55:55] and he agrees to do the job,

[55:56] but says, I'm doing this for my son.

[55:59] I'm not doing it for you.

[55:59] And then they have the most unsatisfying,

[56:03] super fake movie sex I've ever seen in a movie.

[56:05] But he like deliberately blue balls her.

[56:07] Like, he's like, I'm gonna fuck you,

[56:10] and then he's like, that's it, no more.

[56:11] I win, that's what he says.

[56:14] It was literally just him

[56:15] trying to stick it to the other dude.

[56:17] Like, it's so-

[56:18] By sticking it to Karen.

[56:18] This movie hates women.

[56:20] But also, Anne Hathaway, in this moment,

[56:22] is just like, this is the weird thing,

[56:23] where she's like, remember when we were 16,

[56:25] and you married me with a brass ring,

[56:28] and told me I was old enough on the pier?

[56:32] Yeah, yeah, I was finally old enough on the pier.

[56:34] I was so scared that night, or whatever.

[56:36] It's-

[56:37] That was like a bridge.

[56:38] They had sex on a bridge.

[56:39] Yeah, and he was like, you know, people don't,

[56:42] he's like, people don't change,

[56:44] and she's like, well, that means,

[56:45] I'm still that lady on the bridge,

[56:47] and you're like, what?

[56:50] Yeah, a lot of these, there's a lot of like,

[56:52] really weird phrasings of things,

[56:55] and like, not just like fraught conversations,

[56:57] but like, the camera will focus on a thing,

[57:01] and you're sort of like, I don't know what symbolism

[57:04] in this movie, or not, like,

[57:06] whether something's symbolic of something,

[57:07] and that's why we're looking at it,

[57:08] or like, this is significant,

[57:10] this is clearly gonna be significant in some way,

[57:12] but I don't know why yet.

[57:14] It feels like the kind of love scene

[57:16] that would be written about,

[57:18] a young man would write about his parents.

[57:21] Well, that's the other thing,

[57:22] is that once you know the twist of the movie,

[57:24] it's like, there's, these are weird scenes

[57:27] for these characters to be going through,

[57:29] these kind of like, sadistic sex games,

[57:31] where there's a lot of like,

[57:32] blood play with Matthew McConaughey, like,

[57:35] why is this part of-

[57:36] I feel like a lot is churching up a scene

[57:39] that people are going to be disappointed by.

[57:43] No, you're right, that had not occurred to me.

[57:46] That does not jive with the twist at all.

[57:48] No, not at all, this is, unless,

[57:50] I mean, the thing is also like,

[57:52] the kid at the center of the movie,

[57:54] all you can, the only thing you can really get from it

[57:56] by the end of the movie is that,

[57:57] this is a creepy kid, it's a weird kid, but-

[58:00] Well, you have to assume that this kid

[58:01] has watched, like, the TCM Noir marathon

[58:05] right before doing what he does,

[58:07] or something like that, like,

[58:09] because everything is just,

[58:10] like, kids like to do that tradition.

[58:12] Yeah, because kids love film noir.

[58:14] My son, he's five years old, he's always like,

[58:17] uh, daddy, can I see Detour, the Edgar Alma noir?

[58:21] And I'm like, one, why are you talking like a baby?

[58:24] Five years old, but also like, Detour,

[58:26] I mean, that's a little intense, I mean,

[58:28] you might find it boring, too,

[58:29] but it's a little intense, and he's like,

[58:30] mm, no, I like it, I like noir,

[58:32] can we watch Double Indemnity again?

[58:34] I want to watch Gun-

[58:36] I want to watch Gun Quasie.

[58:40] I like how the gun doubles for a penis.

[58:44] Can we watch Wawa?

[58:45] Wait, what, Laura?

[58:46] Yeah, Wawa.

[58:50] This is such a fully realized child character,

[58:52] this is like the other character from Crawdaddy.

[58:54] Yeah, this is Crawdaddy's kid, Noir Boy,

[58:56] and he loves film noir.

[58:59] What I like about both of those characters

[59:01] is there's a twist on them you wouldn't expect.

[59:04] So, Baker Dill at this point,

[59:10] he has a conversation to his absent son,

[59:13] and he has a line about Karen where he says,

[59:15] opportunity pours off her like rain,

[59:17] which makes no sense, I don't understand it.

[59:20] It's like, one of those lines,

[59:22] I was talking to somebody recently

[59:23] about the line in the movie Heist,

[59:24] where Danny DeVito says, of course you need money,

[59:27] everyone does, that's why they call it money.

[59:29] No, of course you like money.

[59:32] What?

[59:33] I think it's, of course you like money, everyone does.

[59:36] That's why they call it money.

[59:37] That's why they call it, yeah,

[59:38] that's why they call it money,

[59:38] but it's like, that doesn't make any sense.

[59:40] Money is not a double entendre,

[59:42] like, I don't understand.

[59:43] Yeah.

[59:47] Maybe you meant because money sounds like honey.

[59:49] That was Roger Ebert's favorite line of the movie.

[59:52] I remember he singled out his review

[59:53] as being particularly funny.

[59:55] Why?

[59:56] It makes no sense.

[59:57] Well, because funny rhymes with money, I get it.

[59:59] Okay.

[1:00:00] So, Dan, tell us, we finally get to meet the guy in the suit who's been chasing after Bacon Diller all this time, what's his deal?

[1:00:09] So, his deal is...

[1:00:13] Do you need me to say his deal?

[1:00:15] No, no, at first his deal is I want to sell you this sonar...

[1:00:20] Fish finder item. It's the sort of thing that midway through a video game you would find and it would help you find fish.

[1:00:27] If you were playing a fish finding video game.

[1:00:28] But who would do such a thing?

[1:00:30] That's crazy. I mean, I would, but only if it's the original...

[1:00:34] Yeah, I mean, you know, if I was playing Jaws the video game for some reason.

[1:00:38] So, anyway, this fish finder guy, fish finder general, he is acting in a really cryptic way, even though it seems like he's just there to sell Baker Dill something.

[1:00:50] He says he's a sales rep from a tackle company and he has this new sonic fish finder and he wants him to try it out for a week and he goes, it will work.

[1:00:56] The finder will work. And then he says, well, then what happens next, Dan? What do we learn?

[1:01:02] Well, is this when he says the weird statement, I am the rules?

[1:01:06] Yeah, as though it just slipped out of him, which clearly it didn't. That's such a pointed sentence.

[1:01:12] Slips out of him like an unguarded fart.

[1:01:14] Like rain off of water.

[1:01:16] Well, the movie tries to excuse it by saying he shouldn't drink, but it's still a very weird thing for him to just spit out.

[1:01:23] And there are a couple of other things that makes Matthew McConaughey suspicious. What happens?

[1:01:32] I mean the guy does show up at his house at 2.30 in the morning to give him a fish finder.

[1:01:37] And he tells him, don't kill that man. You're supposed to catch this fish. You're not supposed to kill that guy.

[1:01:42] And McConaughey at this point threatens him with a knife and is like, what are you talking about? What's going on?

[1:01:47] And is this when the twist is revealed?

[1:01:48] Yes, this is when they reveal the twist. What's the reality of Plymouth Island, Dan?

[1:01:52] Yeah, could you guess it, audience? Are you there yet?

[1:01:56] Could you guess that the cutaways playing a fishing computer game might be related to this in some way?

[1:02:04] Yes, it seems that Baker Dill and the entirety of Plymouth Island are constructs of this unknown at this point to the nerdy guy creator.

[1:02:15] And I'm not really sure why, if he doesn't know the creator, he knows what the rules of the game are.

[1:02:23] But you just know that that guy is a nerd is what you're saying.

[1:02:27] Oh yeah, he's a total nerd.

[1:02:30] It's weird that they play the creator thing like a twist for him, but that's the only thing we know for sure.

[1:02:38] We forget that other people don't know that.

[1:02:40] Well, there must be some other movie called Fish Finder that's about this character.

[1:02:47] And he has his own discovery and twist. And it's like that intersected with Serenity.

[1:02:52] Because it doesn't make sense why, if this character is going to come in and be like, actually, we're a computer game.

[1:02:57] I'm the rules that tell you what to do.

[1:02:59] The fact that why he would not know who the creator, like the audience hasn't figured out who's done it by now.

[1:03:04] And Matthew McConaughey has pretty much figured it out.

[1:03:05] Matthew McConaughey is basically at this point like, wait a minute, my son's into computers.

[1:03:11] You're saying we're part of the computer game.

[1:03:13] He's like Donatello, he does machines.

[1:03:15] He seems pretty convinced right away, honestly, although he pretends not to be convinced.

[1:03:23] You can see in his eyes that everything's falling into place.

[1:03:26] But he's like, get out, get out of here.

[1:03:28] Go on, go on, get.

[1:03:30] Not to make another fish pun, but the scales have fallen from his eyes.

[1:03:33] Yeah, and this is the point at which I'm going to make perhaps a very uphill argument here.

[1:03:42] Okay, let's try it.

[1:03:44] Which is that this twist was much less bonkers than advertised.

[1:03:47] Because.

[1:03:49] Hot take.

[1:03:51] Because, number one, it is so foreshadowed in the movie that you see it coming a mile away.

[1:03:57] So you can't be gobsmacked by it that way.

[1:03:59] But number two, it's not that uncommon a sci-fi construct to be like, oh, we're in this made-up reality.

[1:04:09] This is like a Truman Show Matrix sort of situation.

[1:04:12] Cloak and dagger sort of thing.

[1:04:14] A Dark City type thing.

[1:04:16] Yeah, so it's not baffling to me to be like, wow, it's crazy that they're video game characters.

[1:04:21] That did not make me think what's going on in the way it was advertised.

[1:04:25] Sorry.

[1:04:26] Here's what I'll say.

[1:04:27] I think it's a bonkers twist is because this movie, it's like if at any point other than their clumsy foreshadowing, they had presented this as a science fiction movie at all.

[1:04:38] It would be – it would not seem as crazy.

[1:04:40] It's crazy to me that this is the twist that the writer decided to put into the movie and to be like this whole time.

[1:04:46] I'm going to pretend it's like a sweaty, hot film, sleazy noir, but then it's going to turn out to be a science fiction movie.

[1:04:56] But I'm going to push back, Elliot.

[1:04:58] It's gobsmacked in that I'm like, why would you do that?

[1:05:00] It's stupid.

[1:05:01] Well, it's because it doesn't feel like a video game that anyone would play.

[1:05:04] This isn't like a – if it was like the old west and suddenly it's like, oh, we're in a video game.

[1:05:09] I'm like, yeah, okay.

[1:05:10] People like playing games like that.

[1:05:12] I feel like Ginny's point is good.

[1:05:13] I'm going to push back against Elliot's point, which is if you start the movie as a sci-fi movie, then it's not a twist at all.

[1:05:20] You're like, oh, of course, in the sci-fi universe, this is going to happen.

[1:05:24] Switching genres this way makes more sense.

[1:05:27] I mean it makes sense to me.

[1:05:29] Like you – in the game, you play a level where you go fishing and then at the end of that level, you return to Constance played by Diane Lane where you have sex and you level up and spend your XPs.

[1:05:40] I would say it makes – you don't want to give away a twist, but you have to prepare the ground for it.

[1:05:47] Like if The Sixth Sense was about a man who works in a bank and then at the end, they're like, wait, where did that teller I was talking to yesterday?

[1:05:57] Oh, he died years ago.

[1:05:58] What?

[1:05:59] That would not be a good twist.

[1:06:00] We already know the movie involves ghosts, so when Bruce Willis is revealed to be a ghost, you're like, what a twist.

[1:06:06] If I was watching a movie about a doctor and then halfway through, someone was like, but you're an alien, right?

[1:06:11] He's like, oh, yeah, I am an alien.

[1:06:12] I'd be like, what the hell is this?

[1:06:14] That's Doctor Who.

[1:06:15] I mean it is Doctor Who.

[1:06:16] Also, this is the twist I was worried that the show Russian Doll was going to turn out to be.

[1:06:21] Oh, yeah.

[1:06:22] I was so happy when it – I was like, oh, she's dying.

[1:06:25] She keeps coming back to the same point.

[1:06:26] She works in video games.

[1:06:28] It better not turn out that she's a character in a video game, and then it didn't turn out that, and I was like, oh, this is –

[1:06:33] Spoiler alert for people who haven't watched Russian Doll.

[1:06:36] Sorry, but if you haven't watched Russian Doll, it does not – the twist – the way it ends is not the dumbest, most obvious way.

[1:06:42] I do want to give the movie a little bit of credit here, which is like, sure, like you get to the twist before the movie does.

[1:06:51] Like you are ahead of it.

[1:06:52] However, the movie does not save this revelation for like, I don't know, like a third or a quarter of the way from the end.

[1:07:01] Like it gets rid of this revelation right in the middle because it's like, all right, you see what we're doing here.

[1:07:06] Let's stop fucking around.

[1:07:08] Although the movie – I will say that the movie kind of like slows down after that, after the twist is revealed in a weird way.

[1:07:16] Well, because the way – that kind of twist is supposed to come right before the end of the climax of the movie.

[1:07:20] Yeah, maybe.

[1:07:21] But instead, yeah, we're halfway through, so they've got to walk around a little bit, and Matt kind of has to kind of pretend he doesn't – like he takes down maps of Plymouth Island to try to find it in the world.

[1:07:30] And it's like, why bother?

[1:07:31] You know what's going on.

[1:07:32] Like you need evidence all of a sudden?

[1:07:34] That's the funniest thing in the movie.

[1:07:36] And sometimes hard video games don't feature an in-game map of the world.

[1:07:39] Like you have to map it out yourself or look online for a tutorial.

[1:07:42] That's what makes it like lovable for me, like what happens there, because it's so ridiculous that in the world of the video game, Matthew McConaughey would pull out a map of Plymouth that's completely blank other than Plymouth.

[1:07:57] So like revealing that Plymouth exists in this like netherworld, rather than like it being like, oh, let's set this in some recognizable reality, you know, it's not like Matthew McConaughey is going to be like, oh, okay, like, I don't know.

[1:08:10] Like to reveal it this way is absurd, knowing what the twist is.

[1:08:14] Yeah, and you would think that a kid that would be knowledgeable enough to create the code to make his own fishing sim would make the effort to like study up on other places, but maybe creating a fantasy world where fishing is the only law is –

[1:08:29] He's like I could take another couple minutes to just place it on a map somewhere, but I really have to get the rendering right on this scene where my dad's butt is thrusting into my mom for a couple seconds.

[1:08:42] Priorities, priorities, Patrick. Come on. Focus, focus.

[1:08:47] All right. So at this point, I don't know. It becomes a whirlwind of like Matthew McConaughey like driving around and like talking to his son.

[1:08:58] Evil Jason Clarke is – we find him battered, bloody and broken in his hotel room.

[1:09:05] It turns out Jamon Honsu hired – spent his share of the 10 grand to hire some fellows to beat him up so that – and break his hand so he could not go out fishing the next day.

[1:09:18] Surely this was not the most efficient way to get him to not go fishing on that particular boat.

[1:09:23] Just get a better boat or something.

[1:09:26] He already went fishing once. He wants to catch tuna that badly. He caught a shark already. Shark is cooler than tuna, right?

[1:09:31] He caught a full shark.

[1:09:33] Yeah.

[1:09:34] Yeah, and meanwhile, while we're seeing –

[1:09:36] Not just half a shark.

[1:09:37] We'll see what happens.

[1:09:39] While we're seeing Jason Clarke all busted up and possibly unable to fish today, meanwhile, Matthew McConaughey is having a total existential breakdown like he's drinking a bunch of rum.

[1:09:51] He's standing in cornfields talking to his son.

[1:09:53] Diane Lane's son shows up out of nowhere and says, you can hire me for your boat, and he says, no, go away, and he leaves.

[1:10:00] From the room of this movie, he's just this random kid.

[1:10:03] What Matthew McConaughey is realizing over the course of all this,

[1:10:07] I mean he was basically told this by the rules guide, but he's also like

[1:10:11] realizing like the game will do anything to keep him from killing the bad husband.

[1:10:18] Like the game is actively working against him achieving that goal

[1:10:22] because it's not in the rules that someone dies in the game.

[1:10:26] Which is like and so none of this makes sense though again in the context of

[1:10:31] the twist of the movie.

[1:10:32] Like why is the game working against the objective of the game in that way?

[1:10:55] Figure out what they're up to and it's like well I don't I don't I don't understand.

[1:10:59] Like there's so much metaphysically I'm saying the movie's kind of a mess.

[1:11:03] But yeah this is around the time when it became clear also that

[1:11:07] Baker Dill he's like maybe maybe the things I don't remember from the war.

[1:11:11] Maybe that's what's doing this and you're like oh I see he died in the war.

[1:11:15] We'll find out later.

[1:11:17] I want to circle back to say like I think we got sidetracked but like the reason that

[1:11:21] kid shows up I don't know where to say I can I can work on your boat is the game

[1:11:26] trying to throw an obstacle up because he's like oh there's gonna be a witness.

[1:11:29] Oh right.

[1:11:30] To the murder if I take this kid on and so basically he says yet again go on kid to the kid.

[1:11:37] I don't like you.

[1:11:38] But clearly the kid but clearly like the kid who created the game wants him to kill the guy.

[1:11:44] Yes.

[1:11:45] Why is he also then supposedly programming in obstacles like what?

[1:11:51] I mean his desires as a as a kid of an abusive stepdad

[1:11:55] are fighting his desires as a top-notch game developer.

[1:12:00] You can't make the game too hard that's never beatable but you can't make it so easy you beat

[1:12:04] it in one sitting like it's the challenge.

[1:12:06] This is something I'm trying to explain to my son and he doesn't get it because he's a kid

[1:12:08] is the importance of a game.

[1:12:10] The fun of a game is the challenge and so if you win it too easily if you win every time

[1:12:14] what's the point of playing?

[1:12:15] Then you're just stuck in in the place from the Twilight Zone episode where it's hell

[1:12:20] because you win all the time that the show The Good Place you know ripped off basically.

[1:12:25] You can't be look you don't want to win all the time so the kid's like

[1:12:28] I want my dad to die in this game but I also want to be recognized as

[1:12:33] the Shigeru Miyamoto of my generation who is just making the best games ever.

[1:12:39] Mm-hmm.

[1:12:39] So anyway uh McConaughey is uh drunk and uh despairing on the beach and the

[1:12:47] But never looking better.

[1:12:49] The rules guy

[1:12:50] But he looks amazing yeah.

[1:12:52] The rules guy the the fish finder guy comes up to him and they have this

[1:12:57] sort of argument discussion between the two of them where like

[1:13:00] the rules guy kind of like disappears for certain two shots of the characters

[1:13:05] but is there when like McConaughey is looking at him so he's kind of this like unreliable

[1:13:09] presence but um in the scene but they have this conversation where McConaughey convinces the rules

[1:13:15] hey what the creator want like the creator is my son

[1:13:20] and what he wants is for me to kill this abusive guy and at that point the rules is like well if

[1:13:26] the creator has changed his mind about things I have to help you like and let me inform you

[1:13:31] to that end that uh Anne Hathaway has unlikely convinced battered and bruised Jason Clark to

[1:13:38] still go out and fish that day and there's 15 minutes to get back there.

[1:13:43] Also in this scene is uh the moment that I knew the entire audience I saw within the theater

[1:13:47] had become on board with being a bad movie which is that the rule says

[1:13:51] we are such stuff as dreams are made of and the audience just erupted in applause.

[1:13:57] Yes just the the gall to quote William Sharkspeare in the middle of this dumb movie.

[1:14:02] Yeah there's a lot in this conversation that's like you know basically the most the movie gets

[1:14:08] like what is the true nature of reality anyway? There's a part earlier where Reed he lives near

[1:14:13] a lighthouse and and Reed the rules guy he goes he goes the lighthouse light dark ones

[1:14:20] zeros and it was like come on dude that doesn't mean anything like it sounds like it means

[1:14:25] something but of course it means something that's why it's called money.

[1:14:29] Oh of course yeah and here the the movie kind of misses an opportunity because he has to race to

[1:14:35] the boat to get there in time to join Jason Clark and I wish that people from Plymouth Island were

[1:14:39] just jumping in front of his truck just like hey hey don't you want to catch that tuna instead just

[1:14:44] like yeah trying to slow him down so he misses him. To the end of the gang the game trying to

[1:14:48] slow him down I or change his mind rather like I forgot one of the most hilarious examples of

[1:14:54] that earlier which is when the radio station expressly says Baker Dill don't you want to

[1:14:58] go out and catch that tuna today like something along those lines which I thought was really

[1:15:03] funny. Talk about narrow casting I mean come on. Yeah I mean that's what happens like sometimes

[1:15:09] you can buy a birthday message for the radio guy to read it's like his own jumbotron.

[1:15:14] The it was this around the time where Anne Hathaway despairing that her soon to be dead

[1:15:19] spoiler alert husband is looks like he's unable to fish she convinces him that he can still go out

[1:15:27] by having her having him choke her like he would choke his fishing rod or something if he has the

[1:15:34] strength to choke her with his hands then he must have the strength to hold a fishing rod.

[1:15:37] They also introduce like kind of they don't really do it most of the movie

[1:15:42] and then at this point she starts calling him daddy with like

[1:15:46] reckless abandon and it's really upsetting. Yeah it's gross.

[1:15:54] So they all converge on the boat. If she had called him crawdaddy people would have been

[1:15:58] like who's this new character I love him. Yeah I'm gonna have to google that when I

[1:16:02] get out of the movie theater. So they all converge on the boat.

[1:16:09] Anne Hathaway and McConaughey go out on the boat with Jason Clark and plan to kill well let me get

[1:16:17] there. And Dil is in full-on crazy mode he's like we're gonna go fish. He's pouring rum down Jason

[1:16:27] Clark's throat making him as drunk as possible and everything looks great for a murder. Whoa

[1:16:34] what a day for a murder let's have one too. And right at that moment the kid shows up the one

[1:16:40] that wanted a job. Sam Lane's son. Yeah he had stowed away because he's like I knew you really

[1:16:46] wanted me on the boat. I forget what his reasoning was but you know. Well yeah yeah he's like I could

[1:16:53] tell you were hairy in the Henderson's in me. Yeah so I stowed away on your boat so I'm here to

[1:16:57] help. If you're gonna do that you must be a true friend so I'll stick by you through thick and

[1:17:01] thin. Oh what adventures we shall have and quests we shall go on. Oh what the bards shall sing of us

[1:17:07] and our search for the uncatchable fish justice. So at this point you know McConaughey and Anne

[1:17:14] Hathaway are like what are we gonna do there's a witness. And I wish that Anne Hathaway had

[1:17:19] turned to Matthew McConaughey and then tugged on her collar and went.

[1:17:24] So they have a quick conversation in the cabin being like how do we handle all this and they

[1:17:32] throw some things around that wouldn't work. And at this point the justice takes the bait.

[1:17:40] There's a fish on the line and it happens to be justice. And at this point I was like the second

[1:17:45] point in the movie I'm like oh I know what's gonna happen. So the way they dispatch Jason Clark

[1:17:51] finally is they let him take the rod when justice is on the line. And like McConaughey says very

[1:17:59] loudly to the kid being like let it be noted that this guy has asked for the real. And of course

[1:18:07] justice being justice. Pulls Jason Clark under the water. I wish Matthew McConaughey said you

[1:18:15] hear that ringing justice is on the line. Instead what he says is he's like you see he goes that's

[1:18:21] justice you got him. And he's like yeah yeah and he's got you. And then they let go of Jason Clark

[1:18:25] and he flies into the water to drown. You know he's dead by justice the fish. He doesn't it's

[1:18:33] not like the end of shape of water he doesn't grow gills. And the important thing is this is

[1:18:36] all intercut with the son at his computer with a knife in front of him. Clearly you know

[1:18:42] hamleting it about whether he's going to kill this guy. And at the moment that they

[1:18:47] finally kill Jason Clark. He goes to be or not to be. For in such games of fishing what

[1:18:54] what tunas shall we catch. Like he does you know does this lyrically but he mods it for this one.

[1:19:00] So yeah when the imaginary abuse of father dies is when he goes into the other room

[1:19:06] and off camera stabs the real father. Now how is that information relayed to us that he has

[1:19:12] now stabbed his stepdad. There's a bunch of news reports about how this kid got

[1:19:18] arrested for murder. And but there's mitigating circumstances. There was abuse of the family.

[1:19:26] And here's his father's deal. Yeah. His dad John Mason died in Iraq. And we see his dad and was

[1:19:33] awarded a posthumous Purple Heart. We see his dad's picture in Purple Heart in Patrick's desk.

[1:19:36] My favorite part of the news where it says his principal Dylan Baker says that he's a good kid

[1:19:42] and talented with computers. It's like why is this in the news report. One why is this story on the

[1:19:46] news. Two why is that in the news report. It's such a it's like the movie. And I mean it's a 24

[1:19:52] hour news cycle. You know yeah we're on a news cycle. You got to film. Yeah. Yeah. There's

[1:19:56] no Anderson Cooper twice each night. Yeah. Did you mention.

[1:20:00] that after he get adjacent clark gets dragged under the uh... the waves to be

[1:20:04] taken to david jones locker

[1:20:06] that mcconaughey like digitize is like the lawnmower man and now that's that's

[1:20:11] later what happened that comes later

[1:20:13] uh... so yeah at this this is the point which we learn okay the real matthew

[1:20:18] mcconaughey mcconaughey prime died in iraq and that's part of and you saw that

[1:20:22] but he is prime and that along with the abuse presumably also like his wife is

[1:20:28] kid is withdrawn into this fantasy world where he is built

[1:20:31] uh... fake dad

[1:20:34] well i mean

[1:20:35] you know real dad but is but you know it's real that he he had a memory when

[1:20:39] he was three his dad took him fishing they didn't catch anything but they had

[1:20:42] a good time but his dad got kinda mad

[1:20:44] and that's why he's become he's associated his dad with fishing and also

[1:20:48] with never catching fish and anger and anger he was a terrible dad he does come

[1:20:53] off as a bad dad bad dad he's a bad dad fake dad

[1:20:58] uh... yeah so all the pieces of put together and mcconaughey goes and the phone

[1:21:04] rings i guess or he tells baker dill you'll find patrick somewhere and then

[1:21:07] she disappears everyone in plenth island has disappeared by this point

[1:21:11] like so much junk code

[1:21:13] yeah they all like open their mouths and you get a uh... you get like a

[1:21:17] like a dial-up modem connection sound effect

[1:21:21] so now

[1:21:22] matthew mcconaughey is on the phone

[1:21:25] uh... to his kid uh...

[1:21:27] uh... like

[1:21:28] you know fake life to real life they're chatting

[1:21:31] and because like

[1:21:34] well here's a here's a thing like

[1:21:36] i want to say before this like

[1:21:38] we see like a picture of the kid

[1:21:42] in like basically like a sanitarium type thing not even a picture

[1:21:46] film footage

[1:21:47] yeah like there and like

[1:21:53] it becomes clear that he may not never like withdraw from

[1:21:57] this fantasy life well they say on the news that he's been released to his mom's

[1:22:01] custody but he won't talk to anybody

[1:22:03] and the thing is like

[1:22:05] this movie at this point because there's about to be a reunion between father and

[1:22:08] son this movie is positing

[1:22:10] that's a happy ending that this kid has gone crazy

[1:22:15] someone saw brazil and they were like aww

[1:22:18] aww thank god

[1:22:20] but uh... so they have a sentimental talk and the kids like you know i'm gonna

[1:22:24] redesign the game

[1:22:26] so i can come visit you sometimes

[1:22:28] again the withdrawal into fantasy i was talking about

[1:22:31] and at that point because the game is being redesigned

[1:22:34] the world around matthew mcconaughey splits into

[1:22:37] you know polygons and shards and it swirls around him yeah

[1:22:42] and uh... and it looks awesome

[1:22:44] is what we're trying to say and it ends with what patrick appears in the

[1:22:49] game and runs off to to baker dill's boat and they hug and then

[1:22:52] the boat goes off into the distance and you gotta assume you know

[1:22:56] this is my spoiler alert for what happens afterwards

[1:22:58] is uh... his son is like dad

[1:23:03] is that what having sex is like

[1:23:07] did i do that right

[1:23:09] i'm disappointed that the end didn't feature their boat like pulling up to an

[1:23:12] island covered in monsters like the end of deep rising but that's okay

[1:23:16] or like uh...

[1:23:18] yes some aliens come by and start shooting at them and patrick's like i

[1:23:21] changed the game dad

[1:23:25] uh... okay

[1:23:26] so we've told the story of serenity

[1:23:30] let's tell the story of our feelings about serenity in final judgments

[1:23:34] this is a good bad movie a bad bad movie or a movie you kind of like

[1:23:39] i want to go later i feel like

[1:23:41] what do you guys take the wheel? yeah i mean i'll handle it uh... i think this is a good

[1:23:46] bad movie uh... i think it's really goofy and it's fun to watch with other

[1:23:49] people and it's dumb and you know whatever enjoy

[1:23:52] yeah i agree it's a good bad movie and it's like i mean there's some

[1:23:56] icky gross stuff about it so you might not know who you're watching it with

[1:24:00] it's so over the top even before the stupid twist

[1:24:03] it's so over the top in terms of its like sweat and noir sleaze

[1:24:07] quotient

[1:24:08] and then once you get to the twist you're like

[1:24:09] movie i knew that was going to happen movie but still movie it's a good good bad movie

[1:24:14] i think this is one of my favorite good bad movies i bought it because i'm

[1:24:18] excited to show it to everybody i know

[1:24:21] uh...

[1:24:22] and you know someone ran into me so this sounds like a warning we sold one

[1:24:27] i also realized my friend pointed out we were looking at uh... my uh... really

[1:24:31] just paltry itunes movie collection and i own two jason clark movies the other

[1:24:36] is our lips are sealed the married kate nashley movie that takes place in

[1:24:39] australia

[1:24:40] uh...

[1:24:41] alright guys

[1:24:42] i'm gonna say something buckle our seatbelts uh... get a harness on

[1:24:47] yeah hold down your wigs so it doesn't flip off

[1:24:50] i kinda like this movie

[1:24:55] now here's what i'm going to say for me the biggest

[1:24:57] negative about this movie

[1:24:59] not enough but not enough matthew mcconaughey's but yeah sure

[1:25:03] is that it's a pretty

[1:25:04] damn trivial movie

[1:25:06] to take on so much like

[1:25:08] spousal abuse and child abuse like it doesn't it does not deserve that as a

[1:25:13] plot point because it's such a silly movie the tragedy of losing a dad in a war like all that like it all that

[1:25:17] stuff it does not it's it's a slender reed for the weight of all that trauma yes

[1:25:22] that being said

[1:25:23] so i love the first half because i love

[1:25:26] that tradition of super cheesy

[1:25:28] like

[1:25:29] uh... hot weather like sun-baked noir

[1:25:32] like like i said it sweats all over everything maybe someone wears a panama

[1:25:36] hat i don't know

[1:25:38] yeah basically

[1:25:40] dan really loves burn notice

[1:25:42] well it's less noir but yeah sure why not

[1:25:45] uh... characters welcome

[1:25:47] uh... no but like

[1:25:49] i love that

[1:25:49] stuff and i have to say like

[1:25:52] i don't know if you guys will agree with me but

[1:25:54] i think it's hard to disagree

[1:25:56] even if this movie is very silly

[1:25:59] it's shot very well it looks

[1:26:01] pretty beautiful all through it i think

[1:26:04] it does a weird thing where it introduces in hathaway and jason clark

[1:26:09] in these i think they're supposed to be like character introductions for a video

[1:26:12] game like this

[1:26:14] yeah

[1:26:15] and the camera spins around and changes yeah i thought that was so weird but

[1:26:19] there were some shots of the water where i was like wow that's a really

[1:26:22] beautiful shot of the water i would say it is it looks it looks good

[1:26:27] it is

[1:26:27] shot and edited in such a way that it is maximum melodrama

[1:26:31] in every shot

[1:26:32] but that's the and it's like i know that's what they're going for but they

[1:26:36] went so far with it that i was like

[1:26:37] if this is not a comedy

[1:26:39] then you're going too far with this

[1:26:41] well the movie looks good i will give it that

[1:26:44] yeah well that's what i but like

[1:26:45] the maximum melodrama is another one of the things that i really like about it

[1:26:48] because it's like

[1:26:49] for me this is a movie for people who are like

[1:26:52] really really into movies in a way because it it it does like

[1:26:57] cinephiles only

[1:26:58] no no no no i didn't say that i said like

[1:27:00] pcm's essentials

[1:27:02] whether it be like a good movies or like trashy movies

[1:27:05] like the movie

[1:27:07] very much

[1:27:08] trades on your knowledge of this type of film

[1:27:12] and is like

[1:27:13] ramping up the melodrama because it's like

[1:27:16] kind of a silly version of a noir film

[1:27:19] yeah so i guess you are you are kind of a i think we come from it i mean i do

[1:27:23] think it's a good bad movie

[1:27:24] i think we're coming out from two opposing things which is that

[1:27:27] i agree that is attempting those things i think it doesn't pull them off

[1:27:31] as well yeah

[1:27:32] you do it's the same reminds me of a what mike nelson wrote about movie wild

[1:27:36] things we was like

[1:27:37] the movie is trying to have it both ways that

[1:27:39] if you like it

[1:27:40] that's because it's like us clever thriller but if you don't like it well

[1:27:43] it's time to get you supposed to laugh at it anyway and this kind of feels like

[1:27:46] that to me a little bit

[1:27:47] uh... spoiler alert i can't let wild things

[1:27:50] i mean that's a little spoiler alert anybody who's listening to this podcast can probably piece that together

[1:27:55] certain scenes from wild things i'm sure you've seen many times

[1:27:59] as i said uh... before the other thing like once the movie turns from like that

[1:28:03] noir movie

[1:28:04] into this goofy sci-fi construct

[1:28:07] i

[1:28:08] again like i said earlier in the movie

[1:28:11] i didn't think the twist was that bonkers because it's like other twists

[1:28:14] i've seen

[1:28:15] so i at least appreciated that the movie got rid of it

[1:28:19] pretty quick and then just committed to that idea with a lot of silliness

[1:28:24] and you know

[1:28:25] i just like the silliness

[1:28:27] i wish i wish it had gotten even sillier i wish that when he jumped into the water you would hear like

[1:28:31] like a mario jumping sound

[1:28:33] yeah yeah

[1:28:35] yeah some kind of uh... some kind of death sound effect

[1:28:39] he goes in there

[1:28:40] yeah

[1:28:42] something like that a little ghost floats up

[1:28:45] when somebody dies they they dissolve away and then there's like a big chunk of meat left on the ground

[1:28:50] that he can use his power up

[1:28:52] yeah as soon as soon as he hits the water he explodes into circles like megaman

[1:28:56] yeah exactly yeah

[1:28:59] uh... anyway

[1:29:00] what a yarn that was

[1:29:02] let's move on

[1:29:04] okay

[1:29:11] welcome back to fireside chat on k-m-a-x with me in studio to take your calls is the

[1:29:16] dopest duo on the west coast oliver wong and morgan rhodes

[1:29:21] go ahead caller

[1:29:22] hey uh... i'm looking for a music podcast that's insightful and thoughtful

[1:29:26] but like also helps me discover artists and albums that i've never heard of

[1:29:30] yeah man sounds like you need to listen to heat rocks every week myself and i'm morgan rhodes

[1:29:33] and my co-host here

[1:29:35] oliver wong talked to influential guests

[1:29:38] about a canonical album that has changed their lives

[1:29:41] guests like moby, open mic eagle, talk about albums by prince, jonie mitchell and so

[1:29:46] much more

[1:29:47] yo what's that show called again? heat rocks deep dives into hot records

[1:29:52] every thursday on maximum fun

[1:29:56] hi i'm bibs and i'm theresa and we host one bad mother a comedy podcast

[1:30:00] Whether you are a parent or just know kids exist in the world, join us each week as we

[1:30:06] honestly share what it's like to be a parent.

[1:30:09] I, before children, definitely didn't think it was going to be this hard.

[1:30:13] I'm going to ask my children to do X, Y, or Z, and they're going to do it.

[1:30:18] And I'm going to lead by example.

[1:30:21] They're going to do it because they're going to see me doing it.

[1:30:24] And children naturally want to please adults.

[1:30:26] Yeah!

[1:30:27] You know what?

[1:30:28] I'll make it kind of fun.

[1:30:29] And that'll be fun.

[1:30:30] Totally.

[1:30:31] But I won't necessarily use bribes.

[1:30:33] And I would never use threats.

[1:30:36] That was my pre-child thinking.

[1:30:39] And if somebody came in and saw us doing this, they would judge.

[1:30:45] So join us each week as we judge less, laugh more, and remind you that you are doing a

[1:30:49] great job.

[1:30:50] Find us on MaximumFun.org, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[1:30:57] So we don't have any corporate sponsors this week.

[1:31:01] But who needs corporations when you've got people?

[1:31:05] Corporations are people, my friend.

[1:31:06] What?

[1:31:07] I'm Mitt Romney.

[1:31:08] Anyway.

[1:31:09] Topical.

[1:31:10] No, but we do have a couple of jumbotrons that I've emailed to each of my respective

[1:31:20] co-hosts to read on the air.

[1:31:22] Okay.

[1:31:23] So fire this up.

[1:31:24] Coming to you live from Plymouth Radio.

[1:31:27] This is from Patrick to Baker Dill.

[1:31:32] And the message is, you want to catch that fish, don't you?

[1:31:36] Wink.

[1:31:37] So this message is for Ben.

[1:31:39] This message is also from Ben.

[1:31:42] Hello, idiot.

[1:31:45] Just kidding.

[1:31:46] Congratulations for finishing your high school career.

[1:31:48] I hope that the cool-as-a-cucumber tones of Stuart Wellington or the sleep-deprived

[1:31:56] ramblings of Dan's solo ad reads are the perfect graduation gift.

[1:32:01] I wish you many college days of listening to the Flophouse instead of studying like

[1:32:06] you should be.

[1:32:07] Wormy boners, et cetera, et cetera.

[1:32:10] Congratulations, Ben.

[1:32:11] Yeah.

[1:32:12] That's very nice.

[1:32:13] I mean, I think, I will say, I think you probably should have used your graduation money for

[1:32:16] something else, not getting us to talk to you, but I appreciate the support.

[1:32:23] Yeah.

[1:32:24] That's a nice segue to my Jumbotron.

[1:32:26] This is a message for David.

[1:32:27] And the message is from – Yeah, like you could have spent that money

[1:32:29] on a segue.

[1:32:30] To get to class faster.

[1:32:31] It's the way everyone will be moving in the future.

[1:32:36] We're not going to need cars anymore.

[1:32:38] This is a message for David and it's from Eric.

[1:32:41] And David says to Eric, we love you, bro.

[1:32:43] Two years ago, you bought a Jumbotron for me as I began my South American, name of country

[1:32:47] withheld adventure.

[1:32:49] Even though mom said it was the biggest waste of $100 she had ever heard of, I can think

[1:32:52] of no greater gift than to waste another $100 as you begin your new adventure with Bridget

[1:32:57] in, name of city withheld, Illinois.

[1:32:59] That's very nice, too.

[1:33:00] That's great.

[1:33:01] These are some sweet Jumbotrons today.

[1:33:02] That's adorable.

[1:33:03] There are a couple of quick pieces of business to get through before we move on.

[1:33:09] I'm going to keep them extra quick.

[1:33:11] The best way of finding out about both of these things is just to go to the Flophouse

[1:33:18] Podcast.

[1:33:19] It's okay.

[1:33:20] We've only had the website for 10 years.

[1:33:23] I have it open on my phone, too.

[1:33:26] That's because Squarespace makes it mobile optimized.

[1:33:29] They did not pay us this time.

[1:33:35] If you go to the Handy Events page, you can see our four upcoming shows.

[1:33:41] If you want to go to one of those, it's in Portland, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, and Boston.

[1:33:48] But not in that order.

[1:33:51] Yes.

[1:33:52] I'd also like to take this moment to briefly plug.

[1:33:56] My wife and I opened a brand new bar.

[1:33:58] I think I mentioned it.

[1:34:00] I might have mentioned it here.

[1:34:01] I definitely mentioned it on other social media.

[1:34:04] It's a little baby bird of a business.

[1:34:07] We would love your support and help.

[1:34:09] It's called Minnie's Bar.

[1:34:14] It's in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, on 4th Avenue and 33rd Street.

[1:34:20] Come check it out.

[1:34:23] Maybe even you've been around in New York and you're like, Kensington's too far from

[1:34:27] where I am.

[1:34:28] Now you've got another option.

[1:34:31] There's the other thing that I was going to say, though, about the website.

[1:34:34] If you go to the blog section, we are running that t-shirt contest.

[1:34:39] So winners can choose a movie for us to talk about and get a tiny bit of scratch.

[1:34:44] Is there a deadline for that contest, Dan?

[1:34:46] Deadline is the end of May.

[1:34:48] So just go there and all the technical...

[1:34:50] May 31st, the last day of May.

[1:34:52] Yes.

[1:34:53] Go on.

[1:34:54] But why put a number on it?

[1:34:55] Let's just put end of May.

[1:34:56] Well, I think you can figure out what I'm saying.

[1:35:02] Look, the date ain't nothing but a number.

[1:35:04] Let's just say May.

[1:35:06] But all the technical specs of what you got to do are on the blog.

[1:35:10] Yeah.

[1:35:11] When you say end of May, they might think by the end of this movie, May, that I'm watching

[1:35:15] on demand.

[1:35:16] That's crazy.

[1:35:17] How would he know that?

[1:35:18] They're like, end of which year?

[1:35:21] 2047?

[1:35:22] 2092?

[1:35:23] All right.

[1:35:24] I will say the live shows, the next one coming up is on June 8th in Portland.

[1:35:29] By the time this episode comes out, only a few weeks away.

[1:35:33] So get your tickets, Portland.

[1:35:35] June 8th.

[1:35:36] Okay.

[1:35:37] Let's move on to letters.

[1:35:40] Letters from listeners.

[1:35:41] Listeners like you.

[1:35:43] Letters.

[1:35:44] From listeners.

[1:35:46] And listeners.

[1:35:47] Like you.

[1:35:48] We're reading.

[1:35:49] Your letters.

[1:35:50] And loving.

[1:35:51] Your...

[1:35:52] Pancakes.

[1:35:53] Hey, pancakes.

[1:35:54] Thanks for sending them.

[1:35:55] Pancakes.

[1:35:56] Hey, pancakes.

[1:35:57] Thanks for sending us pancakes.

[1:35:58] We're eating all these pancakes.

[1:35:59] So many pancakes.

[1:36:00] Pancakes.

[1:36:01] That's the Quad Daddy theme song.

[1:36:02] You know, the thing I think I love most about that letters song is that it's not about letters.

[1:36:20] Rather, it's about pancakes.

[1:36:24] Oh, I missed that subtext.

[1:36:26] Yeah, it's hidden pretty deep.

[1:36:28] Just like in Serenity, the justice theme is pretty hard to say.

[1:36:32] Anyway, so...

[1:36:33] It's just like that song, Born in the USA.

[1:36:35] I thought it was about being born in the USA, but it's actually about pancakes.

[1:36:39] Yeah, exactly.

[1:36:41] Pancakes are kind of the letters of breakfast food because you can shape them like pancakes.

[1:36:44] Actually, you know what?

[1:36:45] Alphabets.

[1:36:46] Those are really the letters of cereal.

[1:36:48] Never mind.

[1:36:49] Pancakes are kind of like the letters of breakfast in that they always tell you something you didn't know before.

[1:36:55] Do your pancakes talk to you guys?

[1:36:59] First letter.

[1:37:00] It's from Alex, last name withheld.

[1:37:02] He's eaten.

[1:37:03] Sure.

[1:37:04] He writes, thanks for putting on such a great live show at Earlham.

[1:37:07] Come back to Indiana anytime.

[1:37:08] That's in reference to a show that we've done but not released that was about Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom,

[1:37:15] which comes into play in paragraph two.

[1:37:19] Thanks for the annotations on this letter, Dan.

[1:37:23] One element of Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom that I love is that there's no less than three scenes that relied on the T-Rex being stealthy.

[1:37:31] One of the most iconic scenes of the original Jurassic Park is the water cup scene.

[1:37:36] Yet here we are a few movies later and this massive creature is apparently a master of the sneak

[1:37:42] and pops out from the side of the frame once per act.

[1:37:46] In that spirit, what are your most memorable times that a franchise has wildly ignored previously established rules,

[1:37:52] either for good or for bad?

[1:37:54] Thanks for the years of laughter.

[1:37:55] Alex, last name withheld.

[1:37:57] Something you may have not noticed while watching Jurassic World is that T-Rex,

[1:38:00] and it's pretty clear in a lot of shots, is wearing enormous slippers.

[1:38:03] That's why he can sneak around much better.

[1:38:06] You would think he'd be wearing sneakers like the T-Rex.

[1:38:11] He tied DVD copies of the movie Sneakers to his feet.

[1:38:19] I've got a couple here.

[1:38:21] One is real, like what he's talking about, and one they did specifically for effect.

[1:38:28] But in terms of accidentally ignoring previously established rules,

[1:38:34] so there's that moment in the Avengers, and it is explained with one line.

[1:38:41] I will give that to the movie, but in the most half-assed way possible.

[1:38:45] So Thor ends with it being a big fucking deal that the Bifrost is destroyed,

[1:38:49] and he can't come back to Earth ever.

[1:38:53] In the Avengers, he just kind of shows up on Earth.

[1:38:56] Now, look, he has a line being like,

[1:38:58] it must have taken all of Odin's magic to get you here.

[1:39:01] But it's like, okay, if that's a fucking thing Odin can do,

[1:39:04] then why was it a big deal before?

[1:39:06] Thor just shows up, and we're just like, whatever.

[1:39:10] Thor's here. We're not going to worry about how.

[1:39:13] You seem really disappointed that Thor shows up in that movie.

[1:39:15] No, I love Thor.

[1:39:16] Yeah, I think he's great. Come on.

[1:39:18] But I think it's just a funny thing where it's like,

[1:39:20] okay, this was the major thrust of the sadness about the last movie,

[1:39:25] where he's like, I'll never see my beloved Jane again.

[1:39:28] And now it's like, oh, I can go anytime.

[1:39:30] I just got to let my dad rest up a little bit, and then he can send me back.

[1:39:34] I think that was when they thought that Thor would not do particularly well.

[1:39:37] And they're like, we'll end it on a tragic note.

[1:39:40] Another one.

[1:39:41] We'll send him back to his home planet.

[1:39:43] It's like at the end of the first season of the TV show Sledgehammer,

[1:39:46] how they were so sure they would not get a second season

[1:39:48] that they blew up the Earth at the end.

[1:39:50] And then they lose that season,

[1:39:51] so the second season takes place I think a year before the first season.

[1:39:54] That's hilarious.

[1:39:56] The other one I want to say is like, they do it intentionally.

[1:40:00] like they're making a joke out of it but I like the moment. So Return of the Living Dead isn't

[1:40:05] like a direct sequel to Night of the Living Dead because I mean it's like I think produced or

[1:40:13] co-written or something like there's some connection to it where like one of the guys

[1:40:16] who worked who like co-wrote Night of the Living Dead has access to some of the rights which allow

[1:40:23] him to make other zombie movies but not official Night of the Living Dead sequels and so Return

[1:40:30] of the Living Dead is kind of a quasi-sequel in that way but they make a point of the kid being

[1:40:36] like oh shoot him in the head like that's what they did in Night of the Living Dead and it worked

[1:40:41] and they do it and it doesn't work and he's like oh the movie lied which is a fun little moment

[1:40:48] where you realize oh these people are fucked because these zombies don't really die.

[1:40:56] Now yeah those are great.

[1:41:00] That's all paused for a long time. I guess it's my time to talk. Yeah well so are there any

[1:41:08] yeah I would say an example of a sequel forgetting the rules I would say Attack the Clones of course

[1:41:13] forgets Metachlorians which is terrible as soon as you take science out of Star Wars it becomes

[1:41:18] less fun and then Halloween 3 they forget the rule that it has to have Michael Myers but I think

[1:41:25] it works out for the better because I like it. I think the it's not necessarily like ignoring the

[1:41:30] rules in previous installments but like the way that the Star Wars prequels kind of like they

[1:41:36] take some things from the original like the the idea of I just I was thinking about this the other

[1:41:39] day that the idea of Yoda as a distinguished figure who like is every who is the head of

[1:41:44] an organization I found so so like baffling compared to the Yoda we see who is like this

[1:41:49] hilarious like trickster hermit monk yeah yeah it seems like a waste you know.

[1:41:56] I don't have any that are like really a rule being ignored but I do want to take this opportunity to

[1:42:01] talk about my frustration that the Princess Diaries 2 they really go ahead and just ignore

[1:42:08] the relationship that the entire first movie spent establishing with with Michael and as

[1:42:17] there no because there's another Anne Hathaway goof I guess but so the entire first movie it's

[1:42:24] like is she going to get together with Michael we're all really rooting for it and everything

[1:42:27] and the second movie she's on a plane and she's like we're friends and immediately like goes in

[1:42:32] the Chris Pine's love interest and it's just always bothered me. Yeah in between the movies

[1:42:37] she friends owned him yeah yeah so just undercuts the struggle of the first movie yeah it's like

[1:42:43] what was the point and I think I think in the in the last it's like watching the Princess Diaries

[1:42:49] had no point in the last Fifty Shades of Grey movie they forget the rule from the first movie

[1:42:54] that there are no real estate agents in Aspen named Gia Matteo with famously great boobs

[1:43:00] all right and then they introduce this character Gia Matteo an Aspen real estate agent everyone's

[1:43:04] talking about her boobs all the time it's like movies what are you doing

[1:43:09] so this next letter is from Michael Lassening withheld who writes dear Flophousers I was

[1:43:14] recently watching through these Scooby movies no not the new Scooby-Doo movies the unwisely

[1:43:19] named TV series from the 70s nor the two live action movies that premiered in theaters

[1:43:24] I didn't care for those but the at least 40 direct-to-video Scooby movies

[1:43:29] some are surprisingly really good we might need to fact check this letter but

[1:43:36] do any of you have direct-to-video movies you're really fond of despite their smaller scale and

[1:43:41] more commercial nature sincerely Michael Lassening withheld yeah I mean this is uh I'll field this

[1:43:46] one uh I actually I feel like this is the thing is yeah I uh I actually only like movies that

[1:43:52] come out in movie theaters uh if you check back at all of my recommendations I've never

[1:43:57] recommended a movie that hasn't been on the silver screen at some point so Michael I think

[1:44:03] you're barking up the wrong tree or wrong Matthew McConaughey in this case I think that Stuart

[1:44:08] mispronounced ninja shadow of a tear response oh yeah I guess uh I guess there's one instance of

[1:44:17] me recommending something that wasn't in theaters how many universal soldier direct-to-video sequels

[1:44:22] did you recommend oh I guess those count too huh uh I want to say uh two of my favorites I don't

[1:44:30] know if they like like it's it's a weird area I mean 100 you're going to recommend the boyfriend

[1:44:37] school right no no no I like I don't know that was a major motion picture that was in theaters

[1:44:41] yeah I don't know if the two ones I have technically count so I'll give another

[1:44:45] answer afterwards but like the my two favorite ones that come to mind were movies that

[1:44:51] uh either were intended for theatrical release originally or were released in another country

[1:44:57] but here we're only direct-to-video wait is it is one of them about an off-road adventure

[1:45:01] that involves a bikini and is it great no uh one of them is uh is it an Emmanuelle sequel

[1:45:10] one of them is one of them is trick or treat the Michael Dougherty uh anthology horror series set

[1:45:18] at Halloween uh that uh never got released theatrically but I enjoyed a lot and the wrong

[1:45:24] guy the Dave Foley movie that I think was released in Canada but not here ever well weird that it

[1:45:30] would get released in Canada uh but if those are not if those don't actually technically count to

[1:45:35] you I will say that speaking of wild things uh I uh very much enjoy the direct-to-video

[1:45:43] wild things and cruel intentions sequels because uh those direct-to-video versions

[1:45:48] posit the question what if those movies but trashier so they're fun it really if you like

[1:45:55] that kind of thing they don't have big name stars in them yeah I feel like uh when I was growing up

[1:46:01] they just like were doing a ton of Disney direct-to-video sequels oh yeah and I have

[1:46:05] a lot of affection for them because some of them I was more the right age for than the original

[1:46:09] like um I think I've probably watched the Aladdin sequels more times than I've watched

[1:46:13] original Aladdin Return of Jafar and Aladdin and the 40 Thieves uh which is the third one

[1:46:20] I've watched that one maybe the most of all of them actually and the extremely goofy movie

[1:46:25] which I think is uh again I don't know I have affection for it and that was like the question

[1:46:30] is like if you're fond of it not whether I necessarily think they're good and then my

[1:46:33] other answer is um Cannibal the Musical Trey Parker's movie from college I don't think ever

[1:46:40] came out in theaters yeah yeah Elliot did you have one I forgot whether you talked no I don't

[1:46:47] it's I don't have any in particular I have to admit uh okay I feel like I was more of a TV movie

[1:46:54] watcher for most than a direct-to-video release because when I was young I didn't watch a lot of

[1:46:59] horror movies uh because they were too scary and then uh so I missed out on a lot of the ones

[1:47:05] noir kid was back for sure yeah I'm more of a noir guy I like the suggestion of violence

[1:47:10] and occasionally something kind of like a lady being pushed down a staircase like in uh in uh

[1:47:15] Kiss of Death sudden feel anybody want to watch Hitchhiker you want to maybe Night in the City

[1:47:23] with witch and wind walk uh let's see oh okay I think what's great about noir kid is he's

[1:47:31] immediately relatable everybody knows one of those I would I went to the kids on the

[1:47:35] playground I said want to watch sorry wrong number with Bob West and Wick uh is that a noir

[1:47:43] oh of course it is sorry wrong number yeah it's a suspense thrill I'd call it a it's more of a

[1:47:47] thriller right yeah all right maybe it's more of a suspense thriller you got you guys shouldn't

[1:47:52] split hails film noise is an open genre okay well maybe instead of that I should have mentioned

[1:48:01] Cornell Woolwich is the big combo so Jenny you got any of these you want to just chime in with

[1:48:08] uh uh noir films and the child's action uh I think I think I think they've all been covered

[1:48:17] the question is is it more like a Maltese Falcon really more see that's the thing is I was worried

[1:48:22] anything that I brought up I was gonna like oh this is gonna get picked apart I'm not confident

[1:48:26] enough in my noir taste Northwood is no noir kid is an asshole yeah pick them pick your choices

[1:48:32] that may have seemed like I was making fun of Jenny for not knowing film noir films I was

[1:48:36] really trying to make fun of us for knowing too many I never forget when a kid he wanted to watch

[1:48:42] wed walk west and I'm like I guess that's a neo-noir but I like film noir I was about to say

[1:48:48] I saw a kiss before dying at uh at uh the noir festival recently and I just don't know if that

[1:48:53] counts because again it's more of a throwback there you go and and guys do you wanna you guys

[1:49:00] want to clarify that we're making fun of the way I baby would talk and not making fun of people

[1:49:04] with actual speech impacts right yeah this is the Elliot's impression of a baby this is a making

[1:49:09] fun of this is the disclaimers just clarifying no if an adult talking like that is nothing to laugh

[1:49:19] about everyone has their challenges and communicating and we all have the things

[1:49:23] about the way we speak they're distinctive to us but a baby talking like that is hawaii

[1:49:28] all right this last letter is from bill last name with hell the joke is that a baby likes film noir

[1:49:32] movies okay okay bill last name withheld says hey y'all I took an intro to film class in my

[1:49:39] college years and I really enjoyed it and got exposed to movies I probably would have never

[1:49:42] seen on my own like his girl friday do the right thing and crimes and misdemeanors the morning

[1:49:48] following each screening we had a quiz and after watching roger and me one of the questions was

[1:49:54] why was this movie not played in flint michigan with the correct answer being because the movies

[1:50:00] who just had closed down as revealed in the credits.

[1:50:03] Everyone got this question wrong

[1:50:05] because no one stuck around for the credits.

[1:50:08] Our instructor told us that he had asked the question

[1:50:10] because we all left during the credits,

[1:50:11] which are part of the movie,

[1:50:12] and thus we should have stayed.

[1:50:15] How?

[1:50:16] Yeah, we get to that at the end of the movie.

[1:50:19] Was that instructor Kevin Feige?

[1:50:21] Yeah, there might have been something for the next movie

[1:50:24] in the Michael Moore universe.

[1:50:27] Apart from giving credit to the cast and crew,

[1:50:30] I've never thought the credits hold any real significance

[1:50:32] in terms of plot or storytelling.

[1:50:35] Was I wrong in my assumption?

[1:50:37] Are there films where the credits actually add to the movie?

[1:50:40] Or is this just a typical power trip

[1:50:42] young college instructor move to assert dominance

[1:50:45] over a bunch of undergrads?

[1:50:46] Your last name withheld.

[1:50:48] It was that.

[1:50:50] It was that.

[1:50:52] I do think that sometimes credits have

[1:50:56] some sort of extra value.

[1:50:57] They can have value.

[1:50:58] They can have like, I mean, I guess the closest

[1:51:00] I can think of is in the Pixar movies,

[1:51:02] sometimes they'll have pictures next to the credits

[1:51:04] that like continue the story a little bit.

[1:51:06] Or blooper reels.

[1:51:07] Or the fake bloopers.

[1:51:08] Fake bloopers.

[1:51:09] But like in Up, there's a bunch of like fake photos

[1:51:11] that are on the side of the screen during the credits

[1:51:13] that like show Carl and, what's the boy's name?

[1:51:18] Russell.

[1:51:19] And Russell's kind of relationship continuing

[1:51:20] after this adventure and some of the fun they're having.

[1:51:23] But like, that's not really the credits.

[1:51:25] It's like going on during the credits, but.

[1:51:27] Yeah, I don't know.

[1:51:28] Like I was gonna say, I don't know whether

[1:51:31] this is just like the words of the credits themselves

[1:51:34] or whether you can talk about things

[1:51:36] that happen during the credits.

[1:51:37] But I've got a quick answer for each one.

[1:51:41] And then I've got a quick answer for one of them.

[1:51:43] But you go first.

[1:51:44] There's like Zucker, Abrams, Zuckered things

[1:51:47] where there's jokes in the credits.

[1:51:48] So you've got that kind of thing.

[1:51:49] And there's like something like Seven

[1:51:52] where simply reversing the.

[1:51:53] Super twisted.

[1:51:56] I know, I think there's something as simple

[1:51:57] as reversing the direction that credits normally scroll

[1:52:01] is very unsettling at the end of an unsettling movie.

[1:52:04] So there's those things.

[1:52:06] I mean, you have like Gremlins 2

[1:52:07] where Daffy Duck keeps coming out

[1:52:08] and talking to the audience during the credits,

[1:52:10] but it's so unrelated to the rest of the film that there's a.

[1:52:14] But the other way, sorry, the other thing,

[1:52:16] in terms of like actually continuing the story,

[1:52:19] I know that it's weird that we've talked

[1:52:20] about Wild Things so much,

[1:52:21] but I like the ending credits of Wild Things

[1:52:23] where they literally just intersperse.

[1:52:26] I'm surprised you made it through to the end of the credits.

[1:52:28] I would have thought you would have finished

[1:52:30] watching the movie during one particular scene

[1:52:32] and then maybe rewound it and watch it again

[1:52:34] and then return the video unrewound

[1:52:36] to the beginning to the rental store.

[1:52:37] You know, it could be.

[1:52:38] But the end of the movie,

[1:52:40] like they're interspersed with quick scenes

[1:52:44] that show you stuff you weren't,

[1:52:47] like the camera was not there for the first time around,

[1:52:51] filling in holes and kind of explaining the entire plot,

[1:52:55] which is kind of fun, like to handle it that way

[1:52:57] with just these like quick cuts during the credits of like,

[1:53:00] and if you want it spelled out for you even more,

[1:53:02] here you go.

[1:53:06] One thing, this is like not really,

[1:53:08] I don't know if this is adding anything.

[1:53:10] It added to my enjoyment of the movie though.

[1:53:12] But in Fateful Findings, at the end of the credits,

[1:53:15] the very last thing Neil Breen specifies

[1:53:18] is that any credit listed where the person's name,

[1:53:21] it starts with an NB, like were those the initials?

[1:53:24] That was Neil Breen,

[1:53:26] which means he goes through the entire credits

[1:53:27] listing like other people doing catering

[1:53:29] and hair and whatever.

[1:53:30] And at the very end of the credits,

[1:53:31] he's like, also those were me.

[1:53:33] That's the ultimate twist, yeah.

[1:53:35] Yeah, it enhances my enjoyment of the movie, certainly.

[1:53:38] He's the M. Night Shyamalan of credits.

[1:53:40] There's like, at the end of the movie Skidoo,

[1:53:43] Harry Nilsson sings all the credits

[1:53:45] as they come up on screen.

[1:53:46] But I don't know if that really counts the same way.

[1:53:48] Like it's the most fun thing in the movie Skidoo.

[1:53:53] Well, the end credits in Return of the King

[1:53:56] enhances my enjoyment by making me cry

[1:53:58] when I see all those characters.

[1:53:59] And I'm sure I've mentioned this before on the show,

[1:54:03] but I love the end credits sequence of Michael Clayton,

[1:54:08] where the camera just stays on George Clooney's face.

[1:54:10] Yeah, that is great.

[1:54:12] The point is this guy's professor is a jerk.

[1:54:15] Yeah, he's a jerk.

[1:54:16] Unless you're gonna sit through all of the Avengers credits

[1:54:19] to watch each of the actors sign their names

[1:54:21] on the credits, then don't worry about it.

[1:54:23] Wait, what?

[1:54:24] Did you not see the credits of Avengers Endgame?

[1:54:26] I didn't see Endgame.

[1:54:27] Oh, you haven't seen it?

[1:54:28] I spoiled it for myself, I didn't care.

[1:54:29] No, at the end, in the middle of the credits,

[1:54:32] they go through the whole cast, the secondary cast.

[1:54:35] Then for each of the members of the original Avengers team,

[1:54:38] they get like a glamour shot, like in a cologne ad,

[1:54:41] and their signature animates on, on screen.

[1:54:46] Ending with Robert Downey Jr.,

[1:54:48] so it's like Jeremy Renner's,

[1:54:49] so the first thing you see is Jeremy Renner

[1:54:51] and then his signature writing on screen,

[1:54:52] and you're like, what is going on here?

[1:54:53] It's so weird.

[1:54:55] It's really funny.

[1:54:57] Okay, well, yeah, it's like a less classy version

[1:55:00] of the end of Return of the King.

[1:55:01] Check it out.

[1:55:03] Guys, check out this cool segue.

[1:55:06] So that's the end of that segment.

[1:55:08] On to our last segment, which is called Recommendations.

[1:55:11] You're a radio professional,

[1:55:12] you should be on Plymouth Island radio.

[1:55:15] These are movies that, I mean, look,

[1:55:16] I'm not gonna say watch them instead of Serenity.

[1:55:18] Like, why choose?

[1:55:19] As the internet says, why not both?

[1:55:22] But other recommendations.

[1:55:24] Stuart, you look like you're champing at the bit.

[1:55:28] Well, I'm looking at you because this recommendation

[1:55:30] is also a little bit of a class for Dan.

[1:55:35] I'm recommending a movie that does feature

[1:55:38] the actor Jackie Chan in it.

[1:55:42] How is Dan gonna know for sure?

[1:55:43] How can he remember that?

[1:55:45] Yeah, well, that's what I'm here for.

[1:55:48] I just recently got my Criterion Collection Blu-ray

[1:55:51] of Police Story and Police Story 2,

[1:55:53] and I hadn't seen them in a long time,

[1:55:56] and they're great.

[1:55:58] They're some of Jackie Chan's best movies.

[1:56:00] I don't know if Police Story edges out

[1:56:03] Drunken Master 2 for me, but it's close.

[1:56:06] And I watched Endgame the same day

[1:56:11] that I re-watched my Police Story Blu-ray,

[1:56:14] and none of the special effects in Avengers

[1:56:18] made me as shocked as the stuff that Jackie Chan does

[1:56:23] to these poor guys who dare attack him

[1:56:25] around a set of cars or in a shopping mall.

[1:56:29] I mean, he's amazing.

[1:56:30] What a treasure.

[1:56:31] Yeah.

[1:56:32] I have a recommendation of a movie I saw just last night.

[1:56:36] It's called Serenity.

[1:56:38] If I can, I try not to recommend major movies in theaters,

[1:56:42] because why do they need my support?

[1:56:45] But I've been away for a week and I haven't seen a lot,

[1:56:48] and this was a movie I genuinely liked.

[1:56:49] So keeping with the theme of awesome fights,

[1:56:53] I saw John Wick 3, and oh, Doctor,

[1:56:56] if you like those John Wicks,

[1:56:58] this is one of the John Wickiest.

[1:57:01] So wait, you're telling a doctor

[1:57:02] to prescribe more John Wick to people.

[1:57:04] Okay.

[1:57:05] I gotta have it, Doc.

[1:57:08] But-

[1:57:09] Years from now, we're gonna find out

[1:57:10] that John Wick was actually contributing

[1:57:12] to an epidemic of suicides in the Midwest,

[1:57:14] and Dan is gonna be sued, I guess, for the damages

[1:57:17] for forcing doctors to recommend John Wick to their patients

[1:57:20] when they didn't need it.

[1:57:22] Look, if you see John Wick, it's worth it, guys.

[1:57:25] But-

[1:57:26] But, Doctor, I am John Wick.

[1:57:28] And then you go, whoa.

[1:57:33] No, I just wanna say quick that I liked it,

[1:57:37] especially because I feel like the first John Wick

[1:57:39] is such a simple concept that you can understand.

[1:57:43] It's like the classic, you fucked with the wrong guy movie,

[1:57:46] and it's pretty stripped down.

[1:57:49] What's notable about it is it's got great fight scenes.

[1:57:52] The second movie becomes much more weirdly,

[1:57:56] we're gonna jump into a fantasy land

[1:57:58] where there's a whole Assassin's Creed, if you will.

[1:58:03] Some switchboard manned only by suicide girls,

[1:58:07] in these kind of girl clothing.

[1:58:08] It's a hotel for dogs, if you will,

[1:58:10] except instead of dogs, it's assassins.

[1:58:12] Yeah, there's a rich mythology of assassins

[1:58:14] all of a sudden in John Wick 2.

[1:58:15] And I liked that okay, but it felt like it come down

[1:58:20] from the economy of the first movie.

[1:58:23] But the third movie makes that all worthwhile

[1:58:26] by pushing it so far into silliness

[1:58:29] that the movie is basically a comedy at this point,

[1:58:31] a comedy about this assassin world

[1:58:34] where all five million assassins on the earth

[1:58:37] are going after John Wick.

[1:58:39] And it's just a crazy concept.

[1:58:43] Early in the movie, a guy gets like-

[1:58:44] You don't have to explain.

[1:58:45] No, it's crazy.

[1:58:47] John Wick's crazy.

[1:58:48] In the real world, there is not a secret

[1:58:50] million strong economy of assassins,

[1:58:52] but in the John Wick world.

[1:58:54] But also non-assassins, early in the movie,

[1:58:58] John Wick is taking a taxi somewhere.

[1:59:00] Spoilers.

[1:59:01] And he has to-

[1:59:03] I'll keep it as vague as possible.

[1:59:04] And he has to get out and-

[1:59:06] As you do when you're done with your taxi.

[1:59:09] No, no, he has to get out-

[1:59:09] Where people stay and live there.

[1:59:10] No, Ellie, he has to get like,

[1:59:12] he's trying to get somewhere.

[1:59:13] He can't get there because of traffic.

[1:59:15] So he has to get out,

[1:59:16] but he has the taxi driver transport something for him.

[1:59:20] And the driver's like, sure, Mr. Wick.

[1:59:23] And it's like, okay, we live in a world

[1:59:25] where not only do other assassins know John Wick,

[1:59:27] but like normal taxi drivers do too, apparently.

[1:59:32] He's a famous assassin.

[1:59:33] They advertise on TV in the John Wick world.

[1:59:35] It's super funny.

[1:59:36] And I also, I think Keanu Reeves is really good

[1:59:38] in this world because even though he's like

[1:59:41] this insanely unstoppable, unrealistic character,

[1:59:46] on the one hand, he also, like when he's in a fight,

[1:59:49] he has the same talent that Harrison Ford has,

[1:59:52] where it's like, you can see him looking exhausted.

[1:59:55] You can see him like not wanting to fight anymore.

[1:59:58] You can see him like take actual damage.

[2:00:00] movie and be exasperated by everything that's happening like Jackie Chan and

[2:00:03] it's good no I mean like it's great like I said whenever you can humanize like

[2:00:07] your unstoppable fighting force like that it's a lot more fun yeah that's my

[2:00:13] recommendation so Jenny would you have a recommendation yeah I mean it's another

[2:00:17] like movie that's in theaters it's the last one I saw I really liked long shot

[2:00:21] I thought it was really fun that's great another another thanks for thanks for

[2:00:28] avoiding spoilers for us yeah no spoilers yeah oh right sorry we got to

[2:00:33] say through the credits for that one for sure yeah okay that all you have to say

[2:00:38] about long shot yeah okay well I'm gonna recommend a movie that's not in theaters

[2:00:43] unless you're in Germany in 1974 and that's a movie called Alice in the

[2:00:48] Cities and it's a vim vendors movie about a German writer he's a journalist

[2:00:54] but he has lost kind of his will to live in a way while he's been traveling

[2:00:58] through America and in he gets to New York and a friend of his who's a single

[2:01:02] mother basically says hey can you take my daughter to the Empire State Building

[2:01:05] and I'll meet up with you later in the day he takes her there and then

[2:01:08] realizes oh this was a way of this mother basically abandoning her daughter

[2:01:13] and now she's my charge but I don't want to be a dad so I've got to figure out

[2:01:17] where to drop her off and they travel from city to city in Europe trying on

[2:01:21] this search for the girl's grandmother and all the girl remembers is I remember

[2:01:25] what her house looks like but I don't remember where it is or what my

[2:01:28] grandmother's name is and the two of them of course they give each other a

[2:01:33] reason to keep living but I thought it was a really good movie and like very

[2:01:38] like funny at times but also genuinely like sad in the way you would assume a

[2:01:43] German movie from inventors in 70s would be and it was at the beginning of it it

[2:01:48] was great seeing New York through the eyes of someone who was not a New Yorker

[2:01:52] like I've seen the like Woody Allen you know kind of Spike Lee New York where

[2:01:56] it's someone who knows the place and to see it through the eyes of somebody who

[2:01:59] is not a native was really cool it just made things I had seen before look a

[2:02:04] little different but I just thought it was a really good movie and I'm not

[2:02:07] usually a big road movies person but this is a good road movie so Alice in

[2:02:10] the Cities is the movie I'm recommending so we've all said a movie we've

[2:02:15] fulfilled our quota which means it's time for the show to end and before we

[2:02:23] say all our usual usual bullshit wait Dan wait what yes what are we gonna say

[2:02:27] and then I'll tell you I'll reveal something to you but we're gonna say

[2:02:29] okay before we say all our usual bullshit and perhaps afterwards too why

[2:02:34] not it'd be nice I'd like to thank our guest Jenny Jaffe thank you guys so much

[2:02:39] for having me this is very fun thank you so much for being here as part of our

[2:02:43] game because Dan I'm here to tell you this is what I'd cast well this is a

[2:02:49] computer game put together by your cat you're your cat Archie he's so good at

[2:02:57] computers he's so good at computers that he took a podcasting video game and he

[2:03:01] made it about you yeah but you should have known that such lame bits as craw

[2:03:06] daddy any cat that could envision craw daddy is clearly the smartest of all

[2:03:15] cats but Dan so there's only one way to win this game no no you got to end the

[2:03:21] podcast properly okay okay okay well thanks our guests and now I should

[2:03:28] probably say you know hashtag us on Twitter spread the word review us on

[2:03:33] iTunes please you know do it you have something nice to say you don't know

[2:03:37] that's something nice to say why are you spending the time you're losing the game

[2:03:42] all that stuff go to maximum fun org for all the great shows on our network

[2:03:48] they're lovely people and Stuart you look like you have something to say yeah

[2:03:54] I've been Stuart Wellington on the flop house podcast thanks for listening

[2:03:57] I've been Dan McCoy I'm Jenny Jaffe and this is Elliot Kalin thanks again Jenny

[2:04:02] thanks everybody for listening pick up some tickets to a flop house live show

[2:04:05] why not Dan I've got good news you won the game all right there's a nice

[2:04:10] ending okay you lost it at the very end you lost it

[2:04:27] let's just go ahead and do this man we're gonna what what man are we gonna

[2:04:33] do we're gonna do this man is it Matthew McConaughey cuz a lot of his butt in the

[2:04:38] movie I mean a waste of how good he looked maximum fun org comedy and

[2:04:44] culture artists don't audience supported

Ep. #285 - Serenity

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