Ep. #285 - Serenity

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Serenity.

Elliott Kalan

[0:03] Based on the hit show, Firefly.

[0:06] No, not that one.

[0:08] Oh, what did we watch?

[0:30] Hello, and welcome to the Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[0:38] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:39] Oh, hey, Dan McCoy.

[0:40] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:42] This is Elliot Kalin, and I'm joined by a very special guest, our friend, and everyone else's friend, even though she's never been on the show before.

[0:50] Jenny Jaffe, everybody.

[0:51] Hey, guys.

[0:51] Jenny Jaffe, for people who aren't familiar from the many podcast appearances she's made on other podcasts, is a comedy guru, I guess.

[0:59] Wow.

[1:00] And really, they call her an institution in the world of comedy.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:05] Wow, yeah.

[1:06] No, I'm very old.

Dan McCoy

[1:08] I have to ask, a guru to whom?

[1:11] Who are her acolytes?

Elliott Kalan

[1:15] You have that comedy school, right?

Jenny Jaffe

[1:16] I do, yeah.

[1:17] I mean, it's out of the back of my house, and it's mostly my dog, but he considers me a guru, for sure.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24] Yeah, it's called Backhouse Dog School for Comedy.

[1:26] Yeah.

[1:27] Oh, you have a house gonna brag on the podcast.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:34] Los Angeles is a magical place.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36] Yeah, you can buy houses there.

[1:37] It's amazing.

[1:38] Jenny, I think we first got to know you through the Star Wars Minute podcast.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:42] Yeah, I think it's funny.

[1:44] I think we were legitimately fans of each other's podcast appearances, because I've been a flopper

[1:48] for like, since the Flophouse started.

[1:51] Oh, I'm sorry.

[1:53] No, it's a...

[1:54] I appreciate that.

[1:56] No, it's a...

[1:57] This is like a crossover episode for me in my own personal life.

[2:02] Oh, cool.

[2:03] Yeah.

[2:04] But I, yeah, I was like Star Wars Minute, and then I did like an episode with Dan and Stuart,

[2:09] and then I wrote a thing for you, and then we started...

[2:11] Oh, that's right.

Elliott Kalan

[2:12] Yeah, you wrote a thing for me for the Presidents People, too?

[2:15] Yeah.

[2:15] So it's...

[2:16] And Jenny and I have been working together on a project that we hope to announce someday.

[2:20] Someday.

[2:21] Maybe.

[2:22] A television project.

[2:24] So, but she's here to talk to us about what movie, Dan?

[2:27] Or what do we do on this podcast, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[2:29] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie, and then we talk about it.

[2:33] Oh, yeah.

[2:34] And I don't want to tip my hand, but why do we watch this movie for the podcast, guys?

[2:39] Oh, wow.

Stuart Wellington

[2:39] Yeah, I mean, this is a story about a war veteran who is trapped on a boat.

[2:45] Called Serenity.

[2:47] That's right.

[2:47] That movie's trapped on a boat.

[2:48] Oh, it's a story Nathan Fillion.

Elliott Kalan

[2:50] So I thought...

[2:51] Same joke as the intro.

[2:53] Oh, yeah, but what about this joke?

[2:56] Joss Whedon made it.

[2:58] Oh, man.

[2:58] Oh, boy.

[2:59] Oh, hilarious.

[3:00] Good stuff.

[3:00] Well, I've never watched Firefly, so that's as much as I know about Firefly and Serenity.

[3:06] So, Dan, there's this movie called Serenity that came out.

[3:11] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[3:12] This might be the shortest.

[3:13] We don't usually need to explain that part of movies, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[3:15] So, anyway, actors got in front of cameras, and they said these lines, and then they edited

[3:20] it together into a movie, and then they released it.

[3:23] But when they released it, they barely advertised the movie.

[3:26] Oh, that's right.

[3:27] It's almost as if they didn't want people to see this movie.

[3:29] And the amazing thing is that Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway, the stars of this movie...

Stuart Wellington

[3:33] Elliot, I have a question.

[3:35] Is it because the movie was, in fact, too hot for TV?

Elliott Kalan

[3:39] That's exactly the case.

[3:41] Yep.

[3:41] They could only sell it through mail order on a TV commercial late at night.

[3:46] I remember news at the time saying that the stars in the movie were upset that the movie

[3:50] was not getting the promotion they had been promised it would get.

[3:54] And the reason it didn't get the promotion it was supposed to get was because test audiences

[3:57] disliked the movie so much that they were just trying to bury it.

Dan McCoy

[4:01] I remember, like, I actually saw the trailer for this because I'm the kind of person who

[4:05] sits around watching a whole bunch of trailers on the computer.

Elliott Kalan

[4:08] I like that you said that, Dan, as if we didn't already teach that.

Stuart Wellington

[4:10] Yeah, yeah, during work hours, right?

Elliott Kalan

[4:12] No comment.

[4:13] No, no, Dan's work hours are mainly spent tweeting whatever comes into his head.

[4:18] He makes it up as he goes along.

Dan McCoy

[4:21] Like, everyone's Twitter is not whatever comes into your head.

Stuart Wellington

[4:25] Not carefully curated jokes and whatnot.

Dan McCoy

[4:28] Yeah, exactly.

[4:29] You know what?

Jenny Jaffe

[4:29] I'm going to defend Dan's Twitter presence.

[4:31] I think it's been great so far.

[4:33] Wow.

[4:34] Lately, it's been so good.

Elliott Kalan

[4:35] That's a very hot take.

Stuart Wellington

[4:39] Bad guest alert, bad guest alert.

Dan McCoy

[4:42] No, I appreciate the support for once against you two bullies.

[4:46] But what was I saying?

[4:48] Oh, I saw the trailer.

Elliott Kalan

[4:49] So you're the kind of guy who sits at home watching trailers on your computer in your underpants.

Dan McCoy

[4:53] Yes, and how'd you find it?

[4:55] Thanks for the improvisist.

[4:57] I kind of found the trailer kind of intriguing and like big stars and all this stuff.

[5:04] I'm just like, oh, okay.

[5:05] Maybe I'll take a look at that when it comes out.

[5:08] Yeah, yeah.

[5:09] So you went over.

Stuart Wellington

[5:11] You copied the link to comingsoon.net.

[5:14] Send it to mom with the caption, interesting.

Dan McCoy

[5:20] Dot, dot, dot.

[5:21] My mother lives half of the country away.

[5:26] I don't know why I'm making a serenity date with her.

Stuart Wellington

[5:30] I mean, I don't know.

[5:32] Maybe she's into video games and shit.

[5:34] Spoiler alert.

[5:35] Yeah, but the point is.

[5:37] Whoa, Stu.

Elliott Kalan

[5:37] Big spoilers, Stu.

[5:39] But the point is, Dan, you saw it and you said, I can't wait to see this movie.

[5:42] This is going to be great.

Dan McCoy

[5:42] I wouldn't say that, but I was interested.

[5:45] And then I had no idea that the movie had come and gone in the theaters when it finally arrived.

Elliott Kalan

[5:51] So there is been, speaking of moms and serenity, there is no movie that I feel like I received as much advance warning from people.

[5:59] Oh, this is going to be a Flophouse movie as this.

[6:01] And my mom, who, she just follows Annie Hathaway on Google probably.

[6:05] Did you say Annie Hathaway?

[6:07] Well, because Anne Hathaway, you are probably familiar, went to school, went to my high school a year behind me.

[6:13] Oh, I didn't know that.

[6:13] It only comes up on the Flophouse all the time, Jenny.

[6:15] Oh, okay.

[6:16] Well.

[6:18] Yeah, because you guys used to date.

[6:20] You have a torrid history, right?

[6:21] Yeah, used to date, best friends, still blood brothers.

[6:25] Oh, wow.

[6:26] Everyone used to call her Annie.

[6:27] So my mom still says, like, oh, Annie has a new movie out and stuff like that.

[6:30] But I never really knew her.

[6:32] So she's like, did you see this movie Annie's in?

[6:35] It sounds like you should do this on the Flophouse.

[6:37] And was sending me, and was like, my mom has never recommended a movie for the Flophouse before.

[6:41] This is amazing.

Stuart Wellington

[6:43] Yeah, and she didn't even win a contest or anything.

Elliott Kalan

[6:47] I was like, Mom, you got to win a poorly defined contest.

[6:50] You're going to tell us what's going to be on the show.

[6:51] But Jenny, you, when I mentioned this movie and you were chomping at the bit, or as Dan would say, because he's a pedant, champing at the bit.

[6:59] You were like, I got to talk about this movie.

[7:02] You love it so much.

Jenny Jaffe

[7:02] I was.

[7:03] Well, so I saw it in theaters having also, like, I think I just read some article that was like, this is one of the most bizarre movies I've ever seen in theaters.

[7:11] And I was like, great, I'm going.

[7:13] So I took my friend Casey, and we went to, it was only showing at either 3 p.m. or 11 p.m. in Burbank.

[7:19] So we went at like 11 p.m.

[7:22] And it was really clear that half the audience were sort of hipster jerks like us who really wanted to laugh at a bad movie.

[7:29] And the other half were people who were like, oh, boats and stars.

[7:32] Let's see what this is about.

[7:34] And so.

Stuart Wellington

[7:35] You can smell the salt water coming off their Tommy Bahama shirts.

Elliott Kalan

[7:39] I haven't been this excited about a movie since that one with Robert Redford, where it's just him and a boat.

[7:44] The whole movie.

Dan McCoy

[7:45] Yep.

[7:46] The way we were.

[7:47] I thought you were going to say, old man and the gun, which is about him being an old man.

[7:50] Oh, wait.

[7:51] Is there a gun in it?

[7:52] There is also a gun.

Elliott Kalan

[7:55] But so.

[7:56] I was thinking of All is Lost.

[7:57] That's the name of it.

[7:58] All is Lost.

[7:58] Otherwise known as Robert Redford gets hit in the face with water for an hour and a half and nobody says anything.

[8:04] Jenny, so you went to see it.

[8:05] So you went to see the movie.

Jenny Jaffe

[8:07] Half the audience just didn't know what they were in store for.

[8:11] And it was the most like amazing communal theater going experience I've ever had.

[8:16] It was like truly we all were so unified by the end.

[8:19] Like the people who were there for something good were like cheering and laughing.

[8:25] And like it was became this interactive experience.

[8:27] And then we all like outside right right outside the theater just all met up to talk about it and make sure we'd all seen what we thought we'd seen.

Elliott Kalan

[8:36] And you're still friends.

[8:37] You can still keep in touch with all the people in that theater.

[8:39] We are all Instagram friends.

Jenny Jaffe

[8:42] And I did like immediately text Elliot as I'm sure many people did.

[8:46] And then I think I did Jordan Jesse go like two days later.

[8:49] And Jordan Morris and I were.

[8:51] You talked a lot about it.

[8:52] We talked a lot about it.

Elliott Kalan

[8:54] And if anyone's a fan of Jordan Jesse go or not that Jenny's episode is a great episode.

[8:58] Thank you.

[8:58] You should watch it.

[8:59] There's some really funny stuff in there.

[9:01] Adults.

[9:01] Oh watch it.

[9:03] Are you my dad?

[9:06] Okay.

[9:07] So turn.

[9:07] So set your Tivo or whatever.

[9:09] Jordan Jesse go in case there's a rerun of it.

Jenny Jaffe

[9:12] Yeah, it was.

[9:13] It was.

[9:14] I was really excited to watch it.

[9:15] And then Jordan gave me a poster of serenity for my birthday.

Stuart Wellington

[9:17] Wow.

[9:19] Super nice.

[9:19] I'm going to frame it.

[9:21] Is the poster.

[9:22] Is that the official poster?

[9:24] The one they use as a thumbnail on Amazon with like.

[9:27] Yeah.

[9:27] Their two faces split by like.

[9:29] I don't know like a bloody.

[9:30] Bloody boat wake or something.

Jenny Jaffe

[9:33] It's like the boat is leaving blood in its wake.

[9:35] And it's causing a rift between Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway.

[9:39] Who has different hair on the poster than she does in the movie.

[9:42] I think because they realized the blonde hair was a mistake.

[9:44] Yeah.

[9:44] But like too late.

[9:45] They.

Elliott Kalan

[9:46] They.

[9:46] Well.

[9:47] They were trying.

[9:48] But Dan.

[9:48] What were they trying?

[9:49] Can you.

[9:50] Dan.

[9:50] I.

[9:50] Here's my challenge.

[9:51] I'm going to give you the serenity challenge.

[9:53] Hold serenity in your mouth for an entire episode of the podcast.

[9:57] Okay.

[9:57] Without spitting it out by telling us what happens in serenity.

Dan McCoy

[10:00] All right.

[10:01] So the movie opens underwater.

[10:04] And then it like zooms out over the water toward a boat.

[10:08] While the music swells as if a boat in the ocean is the most ominous fucking thing.

[10:12] Real quick Dan.

[10:14] Dan.

[10:14] How did we get to that water?

Jenny Jaffe

[10:15] It's.

[10:16] Isn't it through a child's eye?

[10:18] Yes.

[10:18] Don't we see a child's eye and then zoom in to find the water?

Elliott Kalan

[10:21] But you're right.

[10:21] I was like.

[10:22] Right off the bat.

[10:23] That boat is in the water and the music is like.

[10:25] Do do do do do do do do do.

[10:27] And I was like.

[10:27] Did I enter the middle of the movie?

[10:29] What happened?

Stuart Wellington

[10:29] Yeah.

[10:30] Yeah.

[10:30] And just a correction.

[10:32] Most movies begin underwater.

[10:34] It isn't until they start selling tickets that they make their money back.

[10:37] You're right.

Dan McCoy

[10:41] Dumbest joke on the podcast.

[10:43] You decide.

[10:44] No.

[10:45] Wonderful joke.

[10:45] I'll take it.

Dan McCoy

[10:45] Whatever.

[10:46] I love that Stuart was doing the inside the biz joke.

Elliott Kalan

[10:48] Whatever.

[10:48] You don't know me.

[10:49] You don't know my family.

Dan McCoy

[10:53] Shit just got real.

Elliott Kalan

[10:55] So Dan.

[10:55] We're on the water.

[10:56] Who's on this boat?

Dan McCoy

[10:57] What is this boat?

[10:58] Boat?

[10:58] So there's four guys on this boat.

[11:02] Two of them aren't important.

[11:04] You won't see them again in the movie.

[11:05] They're two drunk guys who have charted the boat.

[11:09] And then the captain of the boat is our pal Matthew McConaughey.

[11:12] And he's got a second mate played by Jaimon Honsu.

Stuart Wellington

[11:16] Is that the correct pronunciation of that?

[11:18] I think it's close.

Elliott Kalan

[11:19] I mean, it's close.

[11:20] It's close enough that we'll give you a partial credit.

Stuart Wellington

[11:23] How would you say it?

[11:24] I don't know.

[11:25] I'd have to Google it.

Elliott Kalan

[11:26] All right.

[11:26] It's pronounced.

[11:27] It's pronounced David Hanson.

Dan McCoy

[11:30] Okay.

[11:31] Wow.

[11:33] So these guys.

[11:34] Wait.

Elliott Kalan

[11:35] Well, what's Matthew McConaughey's character's name?

Dan McCoy

[11:37] Do you remember?

[11:38] Oh, yeah.

[11:38] I made to say that.

[11:39] He is the unlikely name of Baker Dill.

[11:45] The name of like a guy who puts herbs in his loaves, I guess.

Jenny Jaffe

[11:51] Right off the bat, I do want to say this is the best McConaughey has ever looked, in my opinion.

[11:56] And I watched it with two female friends now.

[11:59] And we have both agreed this is a big waste of the best his arms have ever been.

Elliott Kalan

[12:03] Better than angels in the outfield, Matthew McConaughey?

Jenny Jaffe

[12:06] I like a grizzled McConaughey.

Elliott Kalan

[12:08] Better than the beach bum?

[12:10] He's supposed to be like a wasted kind of like, not beach bum exactly, but like, yeah, like always in the sun, like, like throwing his life away with rum and things like that.

[12:20] But he looks amazing.

Jenny Jaffe

[12:21] He looks so good.

[12:23] It's, it's, it's, it's almost wrong for this character.

[12:25] He should have a big belly at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[12:27] Yeah.

[12:27] And like a grizzled beard.

[12:28] But instead, he's just got like, he's in great shape.

[12:31] He's just flashing his butt all the time.

[12:32] Frequently nude in the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[12:34] I mean, he's kind of like, like, just imagine I'm a, I'm a young boy.

[12:39] He's kind of like what I would imagine my hot dad would look like.

Jenny Jaffe

[12:45] And you would frequently be imagining your hot dad's butt if you were a young boy.

Elliott Kalan

[12:50] Like he also strikes me as he would be the kind of dad who just walks around with no clothes on all the time.

[12:54] Oh yeah.

Jenny Jaffe

[12:55] He's one of those naked families.

[12:56] Like you can't have friends over really.

Elliott Kalan

[12:58] No, because your dad might walk through with his butt hanging out.

Stuart Wellington

[13:01] Now guys, it could have been a product of the, the TV.

[13:04] I was watching it on, but when, when he strips down, it looks like he has a noticeable like whale tail tan line on his butt.

[13:11] Where like, it looks like he's, he clearly wears a G string.

[13:16] Well, your thoughts, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[13:18] I mean, I can't, I couldn't sell, see that on my TV.

[13:21] I can't speak to the undergarment preferences.

[13:24] Oh, maybe, maybe, maybe I need to change my TV settings.

Dan McCoy

[13:28] Well, but you have it on that whale tail setting, right?

Elliott Kalan

[13:30] Where like no matter whose butt you're looking at.

[13:32] You're on motion smoothening and whale tailing.

[13:35] You're going to turn off both of them.

[13:36] They set that at the factory because old people don't know what things are supposed to look like on their TVs.

[13:40] Oh no, I'm going to get an angry email from Todd Vaziri on this one.

[13:44] He's going to be like, I told you to turn off all your filters.

[13:46] All of them, all the settings.

[13:48] Dan, okay, so they're out on that boat.

[13:50] What are they doing out there, huh?

[13:51] What does Matthew, what do you do?

[13:52] What's his obsession?

Dan McCoy

[13:54] Does he have one?

[13:54] His thing is he's a charter boat captain for mostly, I assume, rich assholes who want to go big fish fishing.

[14:04] There's a way of saying that.

Elliott Kalan

[14:06] Like sport fishing.

[14:07] They're like hunting for marlins and stuff.

Dan McCoy

[14:12] Sport fishing.

[14:14] Okay.

[14:15] So he's there to.

Elliott Kalan

[14:16] I mean, as opposed to sustenance fishing.

[14:18] They're not going to eat the fish afterwards.

[14:20] Yeah.

[14:20] I mean, sometimes you do.

[14:21] Yeah, tuna you do.

[14:23] Tuna, but like, do you eat?

[14:24] I guess you can eat any of them.

[14:25] No, but those guys, they're going to catch that big tuna and they're going to lacquer it up so they can put it up over the couch in their den.

Jenny Jaffe

[14:31] Don't you scrape out the insides and eat them first and then like stuff it or something?

[14:35] I truly don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[14:37] What?

[14:37] I mean, I could be wrong.

[14:39] It seems like you'd kind of, what, then you sew the fish's skin back to them?

[14:41] Yeah.

[14:42] I don't know about that.

Jenny Jaffe

[14:44] Wait, are you saying that the fish that are on the walls in bars and whatever and sing at you, they all have guts?

Elliott Kalan

[14:50] Well, the ones that sing don't have guts.

[14:52] That's the big mouth billy basses don't have guts.

Stuart Wellington

[14:54] Oh, that's really fun.

[14:55] Instead of guts, they have animatronic elements.

[14:58] Yeah.

[14:58] But that was once a live fish before that stuff goes in there.

Elliott Kalan

[15:01] Yeah, it's like the death lock of fishes.

[15:03] It's just a, it's a, it's a cyborg now.

[15:06] Uh-huh.

[15:06] So, Dan, so there's, he takes people out for sport fishing, but how does this trip go with these two drunk guys?

Dan McCoy

[15:12] Uh, well, he catches his, uh, his dream fish, his, his bet noir fish.

[15:18] Mm-hmm.

[15:19] Um, he, and, uh, they're on, it's on the line.

Elliott Kalan

[15:22] What's the name of, what's the name of this famous tuna that he's always chasing?

Dan McCoy

[15:26] Justice.

[15:27] Mm-hmm.

[15:27] And he's so, he's so, uh, Captain Ahab over this tuna that he will not allow the sport fishermen to take over.

[15:36] He's like, get in the back, and he threatens them with a knife.

[15:38] And, uh, he, we are introduced to the idea that Matthew McConaughey is a little crazy, particularly when it comes to this fish.

[15:45] Mm-hmm.

[15:45] And, uh.

[15:46] Oh, yeah, in his pursuit of justice is what you're saying.

[15:49] Mm-hmm.

[15:49] And he's got this fish on the line.

[15:50] He's seeking justice.

[15:51] Mm-hmm.

[15:52] He's got this fish on the line.

[15:54] He thinks, uh, it's all out of fight.

[15:56] Uh, he gets Shyamon Honsu over to, you know, he's got a big hook.

[16:00] Uh-huh.

[16:00] He's gonna hook that thing in.

[16:01] Yep.

[16:02] And it escapes.

[16:03] And Matthew McConaughey basically breaks down and wails at the heavens, saying, why?

Elliott Kalan

[16:09] Yep.

[16:10] Yeah.

[16:10] He does a lot of that in this episode, in this movie.

[16:13] He's a lot of yelling at the sky.

Dan McCoy

[16:15] Oh, also, um, because he's so obsessed with this tuna, these guys don't pay.

[16:20] And he's, like, we introduced in these scenes to two important things about Matthew McConaughey.

[16:25] He wants this tuna, and he's so obsessed with this tuna, he doesn't have any money.

[16:30] Mm-hmm.

[16:31] And so, what does he do next?

[16:33] Is that when he goes to Diane Lane?

[16:34] I think so.

Elliott Kalan

[16:35] That's what we see.

[16:35] We see that guy in the business suit on the beach.

[16:38] Oh, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[16:39] There's this nerdy business suit guy.

[16:41] Wow.

[16:42] He's clearly played as a nerd, Stuart.

[16:45] A little judgmental.

[16:48] Uh, this serious-minded fellow in glasses.

[16:51] Yeah, yeah.

[16:52] A real.

[16:52] Tries to wade out into the, into the water in his suit for reasons we do not understand as of yet.

[16:58] Yeah, it's a real Edward Nygma move.

[16:58] We will never understand that aspect of it.

Jenny Jaffe

[17:03] Why was he just going out in his full suit into the water?

Elliott Kalan

[17:06] Well, he's always trying to get to Matthew McConaughey, or Baker Dill, I should say.

[17:10] As we later learn, this suited man is trying to get Baker Dill's attention, but he's always just like a few seconds too late.

[17:15] Like, as, every time Baker Dill's boat is leaving the dock, this guy runs up and is like, Baker Dill!

[17:21] Baker Dill!

[17:22] Yeah.

[17:23] And as we, when we learn the identity of this man, we realize, wait a minute, it doesn't make any sense that he's like late showing up to find him.

[17:30] It still doesn't make any sense, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[17:31] Yeah, can you rewind the tape when I made the, uh, the Edward Nygma joke?

[17:35] Can you change it to Clock King?

[17:36] Because I think it's more appropriate.

Dan McCoy

[17:40] Yeah, and it just keeps happening in a way that, like, halfway through the movie, I say to the TV, just go to his house!

[17:46] And, like, in the next scene, he just goes to his house and finds him.

Stuart Wellington

[17:50] I think house is being charitable, but we can go on.

Elliott Kalan

[17:53] You know, he lives in a giant shipping crate like WALL-E.

[17:57] But with less stuff.

[17:59] So, I think this is, speaking of houses, he goes to someone's house here.

Dan McCoy

[18:02] Well, so, I believe this is the point at which he gets into, he manufactures a fight with his, uh, trusty second mate because he's worried about the fact that he basically can't pay him anymore?

[18:14] Or is that later?

[18:14] That's a little bit later.

[18:15] That's a little later.

Elliott Kalan

[18:16] First, Baker Dill goes to his only source for reliable money in these troubled economic times.

Dan McCoy

[18:22] Diane Lane, uh, a character in this movie that does not pay off in any way.

Stuart Wellington

[18:26] I mean, she pays off by giving him money.

[18:29] In exchange for sex.

[18:30] Yeah, that's true.

[18:31] And talking about her cat a whole bunch.

Elliott Kalan

[18:33] Yeah, it's weird.

[18:33] She keeps talking about her cat, and I'm like, oh, okay, I get it.

[18:36] That's, that's, that's juvenile.

[18:37] But then she referred, she'll be watching him through her blinds.

[18:40] Because her only role in the movie is to have sex with Matthew McConaughey and then watch him through Venetian blinds as he, apparently her window looks out on every part of the island that lives in.

[18:49] Because no matter where he is, she can see him through her blinds and says like, there's my kitty.

[18:54] There's my cat.

[18:55] And I'm like, wait, so Matthew McConaughey was the cat?

[18:57] I don't understand.

[18:58] I thought she was referring to her vagina this whole time.

Jenny Jaffe

[19:00] But she also, there is also a literal cat.

[19:02] But I think that when you see the cat.

[19:03] Oh, she does have a real cat.

[19:04] Yeah, because Matthew McConaughey picks him up and is just like, I know where you're supposed to be.

Elliott Kalan

[19:10] Hold on, that wasn't it.

[19:11] No, that was a great method.

[19:12] Actually.

[19:13] No, it's great.

[19:13] All right, all right.

[19:14] We should say something about the setting of this movie, Dan.

[19:16] So it's set where?

[19:18] Oh, okay.

Dan McCoy

[19:18] So this is, this movie, at least to begin, and you know, like not to spoil too much about, but you know there's a big twist coming.

[19:25] But so at the beginning of this movie.

[19:27] Uh-huh.

Jenny Jaffe

[19:28] I do want to.

[19:30] This, what?

[19:31] I really just quickly wanted to say what Diane Lane's first line is.

[19:35] I'm so sorry.

[19:36] I had to pull it up.

Elliott Kalan

[19:37] We meet them in media res while they're doing it.

Jenny Jaffe

[19:41] I had written it down.

[19:43] I just had to look it up.

[19:43] And it's, I am increasingly fond of the way you say hello.

[19:49] Just had to say that real quick.

[19:51] Sorry about that.

Dan McCoy

[19:52] No, it's fine.

[19:53] I believe what I was saying, like to start, this movie comes off as a classic slice of.

[20:01] The Sun Drenched Noir.

[20:03] Sweaty Noir, yeah.

[20:04] Yeah, this is going to be at, yeah, down south, although we later learn we don't know where Plymouth is, tale of sweat and sex and betrayal.

[20:14] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[20:15] It reminds me of Dan.

[20:17] Somebody cue up Black Velvet on the jukebox.

[20:20] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[20:21] This, I want to introduce a new character that I've been thinking about ever since I saw this movie.

[20:26] This is, I'm going to be working on this voice.

[20:28] This is a character I've invented called Crawdaddy.

[20:31] If I can introduce him here, he goes.

[20:33] I'm glad you're workshopping it with us.

[20:35] I'd like, if I could workshop this character for everybody.

[20:37] Okay.

[20:38] I'm ready.

[20:38] And then we can just send this in as my SNL audition tape.

[20:41] That'd be fantastic.

[20:42] Perfect.

[20:44] Well, well, it's me, Crawdaddy.

[20:46] I grew up in a Louisiana bayou, but now I'm a suburban dad.

[20:51] In my youth, I wrestle gators.

[20:55] Now I drive a Kia.

[20:57] That's pretty much the whole character.

Jenny Jaffe

[20:59] Wait, hold on.

[21:00] So, wait, the fact that he is a daddy.

[21:03] So, you're saying that there's something called a craw and he's a dad.

[21:05] Yeah.

[21:06] But it's a play on the word crawdaddy.

Elliott Kalan

[21:09] Exactly.

[21:09] If I can explain some more.

[21:11] Okay.

[21:11] Yes, please.

[21:12] You know, growing up.

[21:14] Sometimes the heat gets so bad you couldn't even blink.

[21:19] Now I bring orange slices to the soccer games.

[21:23] Now, why would the fact that he's a suburban dad change the heat?

[21:29] Well, because he doesn't live in it.

[21:30] Let me explain.

[21:31] Explain.

[21:32] Okay, he moved away.

[21:34] He emigrated from the south.

[21:35] I was born in a shack in the bayou, but I moved to Connecticut for the school districts.

Jenny Jaffe

[21:42] So, he's a suburban dad now.

[21:44] Well, you guys can't see it, but Elliot, like, it's like his whole physique change.

[21:48] Like, he's melted into this character.

[21:50] Oh, yeah.

[21:50] This is a really good character.

Elliott Kalan

[21:51] Yeah.

[21:52] Imagine if you can imagine Dr. John.

[21:54] Yeah.

[21:54] Yeah, yeah.

[21:55] That's basically what I'm playing by doing.

[21:56] He's like a musical Paul Prudhomme.

Dan McCoy

[21:59] Well, he's basically Dr. Teeth from Dr. Teeth and Electric Mayhem.

[22:03] Yeah, that's true.

[22:04] Yeah, very much so.

[22:04] But he's not a puppet, though, right?

Stuart Wellington

[22:07] No, no, no.

[22:08] He's a live action character.

Elliott Kalan

[22:12] Yeah, so that's pretty much the character.

[22:14] Yeah.

[22:15] I can go on if you want.

[22:16] No, it's fine.

Dan McCoy

[22:17] I guess I was just looking for one more.

Elliott Kalan

[22:19] Well, well, well, let's just climb into my fan boat so we can get over to that PTA meeting.

[22:25] Perfect.

[22:26] So anyway, that's my character, Crawdaddy, who was inspired by this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[22:30] Didn't know there was a lot of fan boats in Connecticut, but.

Elliott Kalan

[22:34] Well, I mean, it's on a tow on his car.

[22:38] On the Kia Sportage that I mentioned earlier.

Stuart Wellington

[22:41] Still, I mean, it doesn't sound safe.

[22:43] I mean, I don't think you're supposed to ride in those if it's on a flatbed attached to your Kia, but that's okay.

[22:49] No, no.

Elliott Kalan

[22:49] I mean, it's, again, Crawdaddy plays by his own rules.

[22:52] It's like, dog, growing up what I did, you got to play by your own rules.

[22:56] But I also have to follow the Homeowners Association guidelines, and that's why I can't have a basketball hoop in the driveway.

Dan McCoy

[23:04] So anyway, that's my character, Crawdaddy.

[23:07] Okay.

[23:08] So to return to the movie, for a moment at least.

[23:13] So, you know, McConaughey, now that he has the money to pay, he's like, you know, be there tomorrow.

[23:20] We're going to go out again.

[23:22] And Chai Man Honsu is like, do we have anyone, you know, scheduled to go out and pay us for this?

[23:28] And he's like, no, we're just going to go out and look for that too.

[23:30] Real quick, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[23:31] So the thing I like about Crawdaddy is it's a real fish out of water situation.

Elliott Kalan

[23:36] Yeah.

[23:37] I mean, you don't expect a guy who comes, you know, he grew up in a swamp wrestling theaters with his peepaw.

[23:43] You don't expect him to have to worry about, like, his house tax, his property taxes, you know.

[23:49] It's kind of like a My Blue Heaven.

[23:51] It's just all the same worries, you know.

[23:51] Yeah, yeah.

[23:52] It's humans.

[23:52] It's this universal character of the middle class suburban dad.

[23:56] Everyone understands it.

[23:57] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[23:58] Okay.

[23:59] That's great.

[23:59] So returning to the movie.

[24:02] So they have no luck catching fish.

[24:05] And this means that McConaughey has not made any money that day.

[24:09] Mm-hmm.

[24:09] And so this is when that conversation I was remembering earlier happened.

[24:14] Where he does a Harry and the Hendersons.

[24:16] Oh, same joke.

[24:17] That was good to me.

[24:19] Yeah, he basically does it like it's a Jai Mahanatsu.

[24:21] He's like, go on, kid.

[24:22] I don't like you anymore.

Elliott Kalan

[24:24] Because he wants him to get a job with real money.

[24:27] Yeah.

[24:27] Because he can no longer afford to pay him.

[24:30] If he could ever pay him, the job was assistant to an obsessed man hunting after a tuna.

[24:34] Because it reminds him of his long lost son in some way.

Dan McCoy

[24:38] Mm-hmm.

[24:39] And in case I don't get to these.

[24:40] It just occurred to me.

[24:41] In case I don't get to these explicitly later on into the show.

[24:46] Because they're kind of sprinkled throughout.

[24:48] Rather than like being major plot points.

[24:50] You know, Crawdaddy would say that.

[24:52] Sprankled.

[24:52] Oh, God.

Elliott Kalan

[24:53] Okay.

[24:54] He'd say sprinkled trout.

Dan McCoy

[24:56] Two things I want.

[24:57] And he'd be like sprinkled trout.

[24:59] Two things I want to say about Plymouth is you learn early and often

[25:03] that everyone knows everything about each other.

[25:06] Because there's a lot of gossip going on.

[25:08] Yep.

[25:09] And number two.

Elliott Kalan

[25:10] They love telling Baker Dill what's going on in his life.

[25:12] They'll be like.

[25:13] Yeah.

[25:13] He'll be at the bar and he'll be like,

[25:14] Baker, you've been spending too much time going after that fish.

[25:17] Heard you had a fight with Duke.

[25:18] Why don't you want him working on your boat anymore?

[25:20] And it's like, why are you telling me what happened in my life?

[25:23] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[25:24] So that's one thing that's true.

[25:25] And another thing that's true is when he drives around in his truck,

[25:28] there's a rate.

[25:30] There's like one radio station.

[25:31] Uh-huh.

[25:32] And the guy, the DJ, his stuff seems suspiciously tailored specifically to Baker Dill.

Stuart Wellington

[25:39] Uh-huh.

[25:40] That's, you said the same thing about your relationship with Don Imus.

Dan McCoy

[25:43] Look, he told me to kill, so I killed.

Elliott Kalan

[25:49] There's, yeah, the guy on the radio is always like, beautiful day out here, but the time

[25:53] is, well, you don't care what time it is.

[25:55] Just go out and get that fish.

[25:56] You just want that fish.

[25:58] And it is like, like in the future, we're like, uh, he's listening to a podcast that

[26:02] someone makes just for him.

[26:03] Like media has become so fragmented that it's literally a Baker Dill specific radio show

Dan McCoy

[26:10] that he's listening to.

[26:11] Uh, and the reasons are made clear later in the movie, but early on, it's like, what

[26:15] the fuck is this radio station?

Jenny Jaffe

[26:18] My, so my friend, uh, who was watching it with yesterday pointed out that some of what

[26:22] is happening in this movie might be forgivable if it was a play, because everybody's constantly

[26:28] talking in this way that feels so weird for the genre.

[26:32] People are constantly talking at Baker Dill.

[26:34] They're talking about other people who aren't there.

[26:37] And it's like, you just saw this happen.

[26:38] If it was all just happening in this one setting, it kind of makes sense.

[26:42] And the performances might be a little more forgivable.

[26:44] I'm not saying it's a Broadway play, but I'm saying if you saw this, like community theater,

[26:48] yeah, yeah, yeah.

[26:49] This is a black box theater.

[26:49] Yeah.

[26:50] This is like a black box theater.

[26:51] And they like have like people with like a big blue sheet to be the water.

[26:57] There's a dream ballet with a tuna.

Elliott Kalan

[27:01] Jenny, you have to produce this now.

Jenny Jaffe

[27:03] Oh my God.

[27:04] Honestly, I would be honored.

[27:05] I would love to produce Serenity.

[27:07] And it's not a musical.

[27:08] It's just a straight drama with a dream ballet.

Elliott Kalan

[27:11] A dream ballet.

[27:11] Yeah.

[27:11] I mean, every, every good play circa 1953 needs a dream ballet at some point.

Jenny Jaffe

[27:17] Absolutely.

[27:18] I love that death of a salesman dream ballet.

Elliott Kalan

[27:20] Oh yeah.

[27:21] Wonderful.

[27:21] When he dreams about selling things.

[27:23] Yeah.

Jenny Jaffe

[27:24] And then he dreams about dying.

[27:26] Have either of us seen it?

Elliott Kalan

[27:28] I think I've seen it four times.

[27:30] Great.

[27:30] Good.

[27:31] Okay.

[27:32] Hey, time for another episode of famous people Elliot saw on stage.

[27:36] Oh God.

[27:36] Because I saw death of a salesman, two Broadway productions.

[27:39] One, of course, with Brian Dennehy.

[27:40] Amazing.

[27:41] And one with.

[27:42] FX himself.

[27:44] What?

Stuart Wellington

[27:45] The guy from FX is what I'm saying.

[27:47] Brian Dennehy.

[27:47] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[27:48] Yeah.

[27:48] FX is Brian Dennehy.

[27:50] And the other with.

[27:51] What's his name?

[27:52] With a Philip Seymour Hoffman.

[27:52] If you say Brian.

[27:53] If you say Brian Brown, I'm going to lose my shit.

[27:55] No.

[27:56] With.

[27:57] And the other with Philip Seymour Hoffman.

[27:58] And they're both great.

[27:59] Played the character in very different ways.

[28:00] Just goes to show you.

[28:01] When it's that good a text, there's a lot of different room for interpretation.

[28:06] For Inside the Actor Studio, I'm Elliot Kalin.

Dan McCoy

[28:10] Well, I just saw Michael Shannon in a play.

[28:13] And I saw his wang as part of that.

[28:16] So what play was this?

[28:18] Frankie and Johnny and the Claire de Lune.

Stuart Wellington

[28:20] Oh, okay.

[28:22] It was good.

[28:23] What was the context of you seeing Michael Shannon naked?

[28:27] Oh, that was later.

[28:28] Well, bust into him in the changing room.

[28:29] I think.

Dan McCoy

[28:31] No, I think both.

[28:32] I think both of the acts open with the two leads having sex.

[28:36] And a lot of the beginning of it was just played in the nude.

Stuart Wellington

[28:40] And do you think the script features the moment where he pinwheels around?

Dan McCoy

[28:45] I think that was added in later productions.

[28:47] Oh, cool.

[28:48] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[28:49] But by now, it's become basically text.

[28:51] Exactly.

Jenny Jaffe

[28:52] So before I figured out the twist.

[28:55] Or actually, that's not true.

[28:56] I think everybody kind of figures out.

[28:58] They don't dole it out as well as they think they do.

Elliott Kalan

[28:59] The twist in this movie is pretty foreshadowed.

Jenny Jaffe

[29:02] Yeah.

[29:03] They foreshadow it a lot.

[29:04] But when we were talking about the setting, I kept being like, where is this island?

Elliott Kalan

[29:10] I watched this with my wife, and she was like, where is this supposed to be?

[29:13] And so we were like, I was looking up Plymouth Island online to see if it was a real place.

[29:17] It is not a real place.

[29:19] If anyone wants to go live the Baker Dill lifestyle and follow in his footsteps.

[29:24] But yeah, the movie, it's like, and I wasn't sure if the movie wanted us to be asking that question,

[29:29] or if it was just too bad at covering its tracks.

[29:34] Guys, what do you think?

Dan McCoy

[29:36] Which question?

Elliott Kalan

[29:37] The question, does the movie want us to be wondering where Plymouth Island is,

[29:41] or is that because they're not doing a good job of misleading us?

Dan McCoy

[29:46] Look, I think I speak for most Americans' understanding of geography,

[29:54] where I was like, yeah, sure, there's a Plymouth Island somewhere.

[29:59] I wasn't like, oh, this is a clue.

Stuart Wellington

[30:01] Yeah, I mean, that was like the first thing I did was Google Plymouth Island, question mark.

[30:06] And yeah.

Jenny Jaffe

[30:08] My first, because my first thought was like, oh, it's like off the Florida Keys somewhere.

[30:12] And then it was like, okay, maybe it's like French Caribbean.

[30:15] And it just kind of becomes this weird mishmash of things.

[30:18] And then I'm like, okay, wow, there's this very aggressive radio DJ.

[30:22] I don't know where we are.

Elliott Kalan

[30:24] You Googled most aggressive DJs.

Dan McCoy

[30:27] So I don't quite remember.

[30:30] Okay, so we left off.

[30:31] Everything's jumbled up at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[30:33] What was the next scene?

[30:34] The next thing was when our femme fatale enters the film.

[30:37] Can you explain?

[30:37] Who's this?

[30:38] Oh, it's that early.

Dan McCoy

[30:38] Okay, it's Anne Hathaway with a bad blonde, I assume wig.

[30:45] And she is playing, at least you think at the start, she is playing the femme fatale of the movie.

[30:55] And I say playing advisedly because it feels like Anne Hathaway is playing other movies that she's seen,

[31:04] which is not such a bad thing considering that this movie is really steeped in other movies.

Elliott Kalan

[31:09] And it plays into the twist later that she is more of a character than a full person.

[31:16] Although there's two things about it.

[31:17] One is that she is supposed to be his ex-wife and they were supposed to have gone to school together.

[31:22] And she is 15 years younger than her.

Dan McCoy

[31:25] So when I knew this was just –

[31:28] There is a line about her saying that she was finally old enough.

Elliott Kalan

[31:31] Oh, that was so upsetting.

[31:32] When they had sex.

[31:33] Because it must have meant he was in his 30s at the time when she was 18.

Jenny Jaffe

[31:36] I do want to say quickly, this movie hates women so much.

[31:40] Oh, yeah.

[31:40] And it's so egregious the way that they treat Anne Hathaway and Diane Lane.

Elliott Kalan

[31:47] She is so much obviously younger than Matthew McConaughey that when I didn't know what this movie was about,

[31:51] but I just knew it had a twist, I was like, oh, I bet they fall in love and it turns out she's his daughter.

[31:56] That was my guess of the twist.

[31:57] Oh, cool.

[31:58] You thought it was old boy?

[31:59] I thought it was old boy.

[32:00] And I was like, why is it Matthew McConaughey?

[32:02] We only got a bunch of guys with a hammer.

[32:03] And then I looked up and apparently Uma Thurman was supposed to play that role originally,

[32:10] which makes a lot more sense age-wise.

[32:12] But instead they cast Anne Hathaway and so they keep talking about, yeah, back at school, the two of us.

[32:18] Oh, I went to the reunion.

[32:19] And it's like, so was he held back so many – I mean, is he this character from Days to Confuse

[32:24] where he's just hanging around the high school all the time even as he gets older?

[32:26] Like what's going on here?

Jenny Jaffe

[32:28] Their reunion happened and they were the only two people not there.

[32:31] What a weird high school.

[32:34] Everyone went.

Stuart Wellington

[32:36] The – Elliot, according to IMDb's trivia, Uma Thurman was originally supposed to play the Diane Lane character,

[32:43] not the Anne Hathaway character.

Elliott Kalan

[32:44] Then it really doesn't make sense to me.

[32:46] Okay, never mind.

Jenny Jaffe

[32:48] I think Uma Thurman would have been good as the Anne Hathaway character.

[32:50] She might have even been better selling it.

Elliott Kalan

[32:51] Well, the weird thing is that apparently Estelle Getty was supposed to play the Anne Hathaway character originally.

[32:58] And then it would have been like, wait, isn't she much older than him?

[33:01] But, you know, it happens.

[33:02] These Hollywood casting things, they go around the other way sometimes.

[33:06] And what do we learn about Anne Hathaway, Dan?

[33:08] What do we learn about this?

Dan McCoy

[33:10] Basically, we learn she's his ex-wife.

[33:14] They had a kid together.

[33:17] And she is now – like the guy that she ostensibly – like presumably left him for is this – gotten – this like horrible character who's just gotten worse over the years.

Stuart Wellington

[33:29] I think he's kind of shades of gray, but we'll get met.

Elliott Kalan

[33:33] This violent gangster who's an asshole to everybody and hits her with a belt, you know.

[33:37] Anne is a pedophile.

Dan McCoy

[33:39] Supporting this character, even ironically, may have you walking a razor's edge, Stuart.

Elliott Kalan

[33:45] And we also – we learn about their son that she mentions he has a talent for computers.

[33:49] So like Donatello, their son Patrick does machines.

[33:53] Oh, thanks for explaining it so I can understand it.

[33:55] I don't need to put it in Stuart terms, which usually involves either Ninja Turtles or tiny miniature people that you paint.

[34:02] And they're made out of metal.

Stuart Wellington

[34:03] Yeah.

[34:04] So when you say playing, you're talking about an actor performing and not the way somebody would play a video game, for instance.

Jenny Jaffe

[34:12] He's talking about the way people play Warhammer.

[34:14] This movie is really about tiny people moving around on a board.

Stuart Wellington

[34:19] And occasionally I get angry and throw my dice across the room.

Elliott Kalan

[34:23] And so, Dan, what's the deal she tries to make with Dill?

[34:27] Yeah.

[34:27] What's the Dill deal?

Dan McCoy

[34:29] She's like, hey, let's get out of this bar.

[34:30] I need to talk to you privately.

[34:32] And they go to his boat.

[34:33] And he's hooking up some bait while she's telling him, look, my husband, my new husband is beating me.

[34:41] He's terrorizing our son, presumably beating him too.

[34:46] And I want you to take him out.

[34:48] I've arranged, well, through a series, like very unlikely things, I have to say.

[34:54] She finds the unfindable.

[34:56] Oh, you're taking a stand.

[34:57] She finds this unfindable guy by Facebook where she makes connections with some old high school pals who just, like, one of them happened to go on a charter boat.

[35:06] And they see him in the background.

Elliott Kalan

[35:08] It's also, this movie could be taking place any time in the past hundred years until she mentions Facebook.

[35:13] And I was like, wait, what?

[35:14] Hold on a second.

[35:15] What?

[35:16] This is a world with, like, cell phones and stuff?

[35:18] Like, hold on.

Dan McCoy

[35:19] Yeah.

[35:19] So that's unlikely event number one.

[35:21] Unlikely event number two is once she found out where Dill was, she was able to specifically convince her abusive husband to go to this specific charter boat and get chartered out and get some fish.

Stuart Wellington

[35:33] I mean, first off, we got to hand it to this prop work that McConaughey's doing, chopping up that fish.

[35:39] It's like when, who is it, Charlotte?

[35:42] Or is it Miranda?

[35:43] I can't remember.

[35:44] Always night lotions or, like, I remember there was, like, an SVU episode I saw where they were talking to a male stripper and he was, like, hanging up his G-strings on a, like, a little drying rack in his kitchen.

[35:59] It was so awesome.

[36:01] Like, you can stop doing that and talk to these people.

[36:04] You don't have to do that while they're there.

Jenny Jaffe

[36:06] This movie does, like, an insane job.

[36:09] Some movies, I think, jump to murder in a way where you're like, wow, that seems like he could have done a bunch of other things in the interim or that doesn't seem justified.

[36:16] This movie, like, goes out of its way to justify the murder way too much.

[36:21] They're like, oh, here's $10 million to do it.

[36:23] Like, okay, honestly, it should be like, hey, he's beating me and our son.

[36:28] Great.

[36:28] Dayanu.

[36:28] Like, this is that.

[36:29] That's the justification.

[36:31] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[36:31] In a movie like Double Indemnity, like, which there's, you know, which is, like, the urtext for this kind of stuff.

[36:37] Yeah.

[36:37] It's like, I don't like my husband.

[36:39] He's rich.

[36:41] Kill him and we'll make this money off the insurance payment.

[36:44] And so it's like a real moral thing because it's like, oh, is it worth it?

[36:49] I mean, this woman has beguiled me and I want her, but is it worth selling my soul, basically?

[36:54] But when it's like, here's $10 million and the man you're going to kill is the worst person since Hitler.

[36:59] Like, what a moral test.

[37:03] It's so weighted in favor of the audience being like, just kill him.

Stuart Wellington

[37:06] It's on the shoulders of a character who has threatened guys with a knife over a fish already.

Elliott Kalan

[37:12] But the way he handles that fish, like you're saying, Stu, like, no wonder Jiro dreams of sushi when Matthew McConaughey is cutting it up with that bod.

Jenny Jaffe

[37:20] I think they think it's like a Quint sequence.

[37:22] Like, how Quint is always doing something, like, kind of tough and, like, a little bit scary and weird.

Elliott Kalan

[37:27] But there's also, he's like, it's just really funny because it's like, wait, so you took someone out on a boat.

[37:31] You're butchering a fish.

[37:32] Are you going to cook it right now?

[37:34] Like, what do you, is this the right time to be cleaning that fish?

[37:36] Well, he's got to butcher it like that so he can put it on his wall.

Jenny Jaffe

[37:40] Oh, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[37:40] That's how it works.

[37:41] He can put all the machines in to make his big billy bass.

Stuart Wellington

[37:46] He is baiting the hooks just like she is putting out some bait for him.

Dan McCoy

[37:50] Yeah, I think I should clarify this because I don't think we've said it explicitly yet.

[37:54] Like, what Anne Hathaway wants is him to take her husband out on a charter boat and push him off and leave him for the sharks to eat.

Jenny Jaffe

[38:03] This movie is so much fun with playing with the word hooks.

[38:05] At one point he's like, I'm a hooker who can't get a hook or something.

Elliott Kalan

[38:10] Dan Lance is like, you're a hooker.

[38:12] And he goes, yeah, a hooker who can't afford hooks.

[38:14] And it's like, you did it.

[38:16] You squared the circle, boys.

Dan McCoy

[38:18] So after this conversation, Matthew McConaughey is like, nope, I'm not going to just kill a dude.

[38:25] I'm not going to take him out on the boat.

[38:27] You're barking up the wrong tree.

[38:30] And I believe this is when he goes back to his.

Stuart Wellington

[38:32] But just to clarify, he's a man, not a tree.

[38:35] Okay, go on.

Jenny Jaffe

[38:39] He's pretty wooden.

Elliott Kalan

[38:43] So Dan, is this when, are we going to skip to the next morning when Matthew McConaughey takes his new dip in the ocean?

Dan McCoy

[38:50] Yeah, he goes out fishing.

[38:51] He comes home.

[38:52] And Diane Lane, who's been peering out the window at him talking to Anne Hathaway, jealous over whoever.

Elliott Kalan

[39:00] The magic evil queen from Snow White window that shows her all the goings on of Plymouth when she asks it to.

Dan McCoy

[39:06] So she sees the two of them together and then she shows up at McConaughey's, you know, shack.

[39:11] Let's call it.

[39:12] It's a shipping container.

[39:13] Yeah, yeah.

[39:14] And she's, you know, real cash sort of.

[39:18] Super cash.

[39:19] Super cash.

[39:20] You know, just being like, so, you know, there's a pretty lady.

[39:24] So, who's that pretty lady?

[39:26] What's going on?

[39:28] And Matthew McConaughey doesn't want to talk about that and his solution, I guess, is to say he's got to take a shower and he strips down.

[39:37] And you see his butt.

[39:38] And I got to say, the way he's jiggling around, you really should also see his penis.

[39:43] Clearly his penis is bundled up so it won't jiggle below the butt line.

Jenny Jaffe

[39:48] At one point.

Elliott Kalan

[39:49] I mean, he's probably wearing a modesty pouch.

[39:52] That's pretty standard.

Jenny Jaffe

[39:53] Like a modesty pouch could contain McConaughey.

[39:56] It's a modesty mouse.

Elliott Kalan

[39:58] He.

[40:00] They need an entire, they needed an entire mouse.

[40:03] A mouse?

[40:04] A couch?

[40:05] Maybe not.

[40:05] Actually, mice are pretty small now that I think about it.

[40:08] He cliff dives and while he's.

[40:11] That must hurt so much that he cliff dives feet first into the water, right?

[40:16] So, like his penis is smacking into the ocean.

Stuart Wellington

[40:19] His taint and balls are so calloused from doing this every day.

Dan McCoy

[40:22] I mean, Elliot, you prefer he go belly first off the cliff?

[40:27] I'm not really sure what you're arguing for.

Elliott Kalan

[40:28] I'm just saying he should not be jumping off the cliff with no clothes on.

[40:31] But you're right.

[40:31] Stuart, he must be.

[40:32] The first time he did this, it must have hurt so much.

[40:34] But he's like, if I do this every day for years, eventually it won't even bother me.

[40:38] Because when he hits the water, the look on his face is like, hmm.

[40:41] Like he just walked through a puddle.

[40:42] Like it's amazing.

[40:43] He's so tough.

[40:44] So tough.

[40:44] During his nude swim, he has a vision of his son in the water, which is like really, it's

[40:49] really creepy.

Jenny Jaffe

[40:50] They do like a Nirvana cover at each other.

Elliott Kalan

[40:52] Oh, yeah.

[40:53] That's exactly what's going on.

[40:54] And it's, Dan, does he, his son, they seem to have some kind of psychic connection, right?

Dan McCoy

[40:58] Yeah, because then he wakes up at it, like this was like, you know, reality edging into a

[41:04] dream sequence.

[41:05] And he wakes up from this crazy underwater dream.

[41:08] And there's like water next to him on the table.

[41:12] And he's like, you know, mystified and amazed by this water.

[41:16] And meanwhile, we cut to this boy who has spilled his drink.

[41:22] And he's rubbing his hand through the water, just like Matthew McConaughey is rubbing his

[41:27] hand through water.

[41:28] And I have to say, it makes sense for McConaughey to be rubbing his hand through the water

[41:31] because he's mystified by how that water got there.

[41:34] For the boy to just spill his drink and rub the water around is a lot weirder.

Elliott Kalan

[41:38] This boy has issues.

[41:40] I don't want to say anything that could be considered offensive.

[41:43] Like, I don't want to make light of people who have problems interacting with reality.

[41:47] So he's, you know, withdrawn.

[41:49] He's withdrawn.

[41:50] He's very withdrawn.

[41:50] So there's part of him that's like, you have to assume he's touching water because it's

[41:54] just him.

[41:54] It's a way of interacting with reality.

[41:56] Because otherwise, he's too busy.

[41:56] Yeah.

[41:57] It's some kind of scrying pool or something.

[41:59] Yeah.

[41:59] And otherwise, he's too busy with his name video games.

[42:02] The boy's always playing on his computer all the time.

[42:04] And most of the time we watch him, it's one of those shots where it's through the inside

[42:08] of a computer screen.

[42:09] And we can see his face with like code in front of him.

Jenny Jaffe

[42:12] And then also fishing in front of him at one point.

[42:14] Like, it's very clear.

[42:16] Like, the first time we see him in front of a computer screen, it's like there's like a

[42:19] fishing game.

[42:20] It's like, oh, come on, movie.

[42:21] Also, this movie is made by an old person because that's not the game a teenager makes.

Stuart Wellington

[42:27] A fishing game?

[42:28] Yeah.

[42:28] No.

[42:28] Not at all.

[42:29] You mean Catch the Trout is not a hot new title?

Elliott Kalan

[42:33] I mean, unless it's like a leisure suit Larry catches the trout or something like that.

[42:37] He does have a lot of butts.

Stuart Wellington

[42:37] Yeah, because a lot of kids are fucking playing leisure suit Larry now.

Elliott Kalan

[42:40] They were when I was a kid when their parents were not at home.

Dan McCoy

[42:46] So, is this next part where, is this the scene where Jason Clark arrives in town?

[42:54] Yeah, the husband, the bad husband.

[42:55] The bad husband arrives, surprising Anne Hathaway, who loudly squeals, oh, you weren't supposed

[43:02] to arrive until tomorrow.

[43:03] And he has chartered a jet.

[43:05] Yeah, her reaction is intense.

[43:07] So much reaction.

[43:09] She's been surprised by her abusive husband.

[43:12] No, I guess you're right.

[43:13] No, no.

[43:14] You think she'd be better at hiding it.

Elliott Kalan

[43:16] What?

[43:16] Stuart, now, we're on the bad dad rankings, Izzy.

[43:18] He's not a bad dad soccer dad.

[43:20] Like, what kind of bad dad is he?

Stuart Wellington

[43:22] This is a tough one.

[43:24] He's not a bad dad rad dad.

[43:27] Although, Jason Clark does make a meal out of this role.

[43:32] It's really tough.

[43:33] I mean, he is coded as the worst person in the universe.

[43:38] Yeah.

[43:39] So, this is the most like, I remember when I was watching Little Shop of Horrors, and I

[43:46] pretty quickly jumped on the train of like, oh, this dentist needs to die.

[43:50] And I feel like Jason Clark beat, like, he beats that out within seconds.

[43:56] Like, there are, it's almost like how in the beginning of Up, Pixar was like, we are going,

[44:03] you know when Bambi's mom died?

[44:04] We are going to beat that in moments.

Dan McCoy

[44:06] Well, I mean, yeah.

[44:07] I mean, let's say how we beat that, making Jason Clark a bad guy.

[44:12] He shows up, and he immediately demands that Anne Hathaway disrobe.

[44:17] Uh-huh.

[44:17] And then he like.

[44:18] Wait, wait, wait.

[44:19] He, so he can examine her.

[44:21] He puts on his reading glasses.

[44:22] No, that's, I mean, why do you mean wait, wait, wait?

[44:25] That was literally the next thing I was going to say.

[44:27] He bends down.

[44:28] He puts his glasses on in such a clinical way that, watching with my girlfriend, she's like,

[44:33] is he a doctor?

[44:35] That is much more what it seems like.

[44:38] And, uh.

Jenny Jaffe

[44:38] I thought he, she maybe had some kind of tattoo that was a map of the island that was like,

[44:44] there was going to be treasure somewhere.

[44:46] And she was like, the, like, at first I was like, oh, that's the, um, that's the twist.

[44:51] Is Anne Hathaway is the map?

Elliott Kalan

[44:52] It's like in Waterworld.

[44:53] She's got a map on her butt.

[44:55] Right.

Jenny Jaffe

[44:55] Like, so he's got to inspect it and be like, oh, yes, the treasure is here.

Dan McCoy

[45:00] Well, instead he's examining her butt so closely because, uh, he's looking for marks on there

[45:07] that I guess, uh, would suggest maybe she's doing something while he's not around.

[45:12] I'm not really sure why he's so, other than being completely controlling, like, why he's

[45:16] obsessed with this particular thing.

Stuart Wellington

[45:17] I think he wants a perfectly blank canvas on which to do his work.

Dan McCoy

[45:21] Okay.

[45:21] Well, he sees a scratch on her, uh, which, uh, means that she must be punished and the

[45:26] scene ends with him taking off his belt.

[45:29] Yeah, it's super gross.

Elliott Kalan

[45:30] And it's, it's all really disgusting and sordid in a not fun way.

[45:33] But I will say Jason Clark, his accent in this movie, he's, it's not even as good as my

[45:39] crawdaddy accent.

[45:40] I think it's a crazy accent.

Jenny Jaffe

[45:41] Where is he from?

[45:42] Do you think?

[45:43] He's from like bad guysville.

Elliott Kalan

[45:46] We're talking about the character, not the actor, Jason Clark, not the actor, Jason Clark,

[45:50] the actor, uh, he, he does, I mean, his accent in other movies is usually great because

[45:54] he's Australian, right?

[45:55] But he's, uh, but in every movie he's got a, you know, fine American accent, but this one,

[45:59] it's like, it's like, it's, it's like somehow all the worst elements of a New Jersey accent

[46:05] and a Philly accent and a Southern accent in one accent.

Jenny Jaffe

[46:08] I thought he was supposed to be from Boston.

[46:09] I thought they were like trying for Boston.

Elliott Kalan

[46:11] Maybe it's Boston too.

[46:12] But it's just like basically like the kind of accent where you're like, oh, this guy's

[46:16] a criminal of some kind.

Stuart Wellington

[46:17] Yeah.

[46:18] The, and the way he's dressed, I feel like there's, uh, there's an assistant right off,

[46:23] uh, camera with a spray bottle, just spraying him down to make him look grosser and wetter.

Jenny Jaffe

[46:29] Everyone's so wet in this movie.

Dan McCoy

[46:32] There's a spray with Crisco the whole time.

[46:35] I mean, you know, I like that cause I feel like it calls back to like, there are a lot

[46:38] of like nineties, like Florida and noirs.

[46:41] And like, I like the, just the sense that everyone is constantly sweating through their shirt.

[46:46] Well, like either because it's hot or because it's too sexy.

Elliott Kalan

[46:49] It's like a, it's like a heaven's prisoners or a wild things or a, you know, it all goes

[46:53] back to body heat.

[46:54] Body heat's a super like sweaty movie.

Stuart Wellington

[46:56] This does feel like two steps removed from a Zalman King movie.

[47:00] Two steps.

[47:02] For the beginning.

[47:03] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[47:03] But, but that's one of the things I like about it.

[47:06] But we'll get to that later.

[47:08] Um, so, uh, you know, Jason Clark, uh, goes down to the boat that his wife has presumably

[47:15] chartered for him.

[47:16] And, uh, Matthew McConaughey is like, nope, can't take you out.

[47:21] Regulations say, uh, it's just me.

[47:22] I can't have just me and you on a boat and no one else to help out.

[47:27] Oh, that, that probably checks out.

[47:28] I guess the movie's done, huh?

[47:30] Yeah, that's it.

[47:31] It's about a man who was denied a fishing trip.

Elliott Kalan

[47:34] Jason Clark says, wait, someone in my life said no to me.

[47:38] That's what I needed.

[47:39] Limits.

[47:39] So I can define myself by who I want to be and not who I feel the urge to be.

[47:45] Thank you, Baker Dill.

[47:46] Thank you for showing me the way.

[47:48] And then he says to Anne Hathaway, he gets down on his knees and he says, I have so much

[47:52] to make up for.

[47:53] Will you give me a second chance?

[47:54] I know I don't deserve.

[47:56] Can you find it in your heart?

[47:57] And she looks to the heavens and Jesus says, yes, my daughter, forgive him.

[48:01] And just winks.

[48:02] And she says, okay, I'll do as our Lord would and I'll forgive you.

[48:05] And they open up a missionary orphanage somewhere.

[48:09] And that's the end of the story.

[48:10] And then Matthew McConaughey's like, oh, where's that tuna?

Dan McCoy

[48:14] You know what?

[48:14] That is a crazy twist.

Elliott Kalan

[48:16] The crazy twist is this was a Christian movie the whole time.

Dan McCoy

[48:22] No.

[48:23] Yeah.

[48:24] He will not be denied, Jason Clark.

[48:25] And he says, tomorrow I'm going to come.

[48:28] I'm going to give you 10 grand to take me out and you're going to do it.

[48:31] And he walks off.

[48:33] He stalks away.

Elliott Kalan

[48:34] And Baker Dill, his boat zooms off.

[48:36] And once again, we did mention it before.

[48:38] It happens another time too.

Jenny Jaffe

[48:39] The guy in a suit runs up going, Baker Dill, Baker Dill, I need to talk to you.

Elliott Kalan

[48:43] Oh, shoot.

Dan McCoy

[48:47] Okay.

[48:47] So I must admit, I don't know quite what happened just after that.

Elliott Kalan

[48:51] There's a bunch of stuff where everyone's telling Baker Dill basically.

[48:55] Everyone in town is just repeating to him what's going on.

[48:57] We know you're obsessed with the fish.

[48:58] You know that your ex-wife's husband is abusive to her.

Stuart Wellington

[49:03] And they're doing it in a way like they're gaslighting him or something.

[49:08] Like these people are staring at him and behaving like they're weird alien robots.

Elliott Kalan

[49:13] Yes.

[49:13] Yeah.

[49:14] And that's a very good way to put it.

[49:15] And Duke is like, we should take this guy out fishing.

[49:18] We need the money.

[49:19] And Dill's like, okay.

[49:20] But Dill tells Anne Hathaway, whose character's name I can never remember.

[49:23] Is it Karen?

[49:23] Karen.

[49:24] He tells Karen, I'm not going to kill him.

[49:26] Oh, and we forget.

[49:27] Sorry.

[49:28] And she says, oh, by the way, when you talk, Patrick can hear you.

[49:32] You're connected with him.

[49:33] And Patrick can hear you through his computer screen.

[49:35] That's what Patrick says.

Dan McCoy

[49:36] And this was Patrick's idea.

Elliott Kalan

[49:38] That's the other thing she says, right?

[49:39] It was Patrick's idea for Dill to take out his stepdad and kill him.

Dan McCoy

[49:43] Yeah.

[49:44] I wanted to clarify.

[49:45] I think you already kind of have that.

[49:48] I think I forgot to say something very important, which is.

[49:50] This is a movie.

[49:52] McConaughey asked Anne Hathaway about their son.

[49:58] And she talked a lot about how he was withdrawn entirely into computers.

[50:04] And he plays games all day.

[50:06] And you're like, oh, that kid that we keep seeing at the computer is his son.

[50:14] We understand all that.

Elliott Kalan

[50:16] And when we see him at the computer, he's in his room and we can hear through the door his stepdad yelling at his mom.

Dan McCoy

[50:26] And at this point, I was like, oh, I know what the twist is.

[50:29] Let's see if you, the audience, can guess.

Elliott Kalan

[50:32] Yeah.

[50:32] Matthew McConaughey should have turned to the camera and said, have you figured it out yet, folks?

[50:35] All right.

[50:36] All right.

Elliott Kalan

[50:36] We're going to be revealing in about 20 minutes.

[50:38] See how close you got.

[50:41] Crawdaddy.

Stuart Wellington

[50:42] Oh, wow.

[50:44] That's a big name to be playing Crawdaddy.

Elliott Kalan

[50:46] Yeah.

[50:47] In the movie.

[50:47] Well, I wanted to get, again, cast as Crawdaddy in the movie since it was my character that I do on television, on SNL.

[50:52] But they wanted a bigger star, so Matthew McConaughey's going to play Crawdaddy.

[50:55] I think he's good casting.

[50:56] He's good casting.

[50:57] I believe him as a guy who raised in the swamps among the moss and the gook, who's now living the middle class life in a suburb of Connecticut.

[51:08] He works in insurance.

[51:10] That's why he's in Connecticut, too.

[51:11] And he's always embarrassing his kids with his down-home bayou knowledge, but that's what gets them out of the jams, too, is all those things he learned wrestling gators and catching crawdads and shooting nutrients.

[51:22] Yeah, Stuart, I spaced out.

Dan McCoy

[51:24] Is Ellie talking about Crawdaddy again?

Stuart Wellington

[51:26] Yeah, yeah.

[51:28] He's about to clarify what kind of jams his kids are getting into.

Jenny Jaffe

[51:33] Ellie, I think we should just abandon our other TV project and just pursue Crawdaddy.

Elliott Kalan

[51:37] I think we have to, yeah, at this point.

[51:39] I mean, it's kind of what God put me on this earth to do.

Stuart Wellington

[51:42] I mean, I kind of assumed that this was your low-key pitch for Crawdaddy in general.

Dan McCoy

[51:47] Yeah, this is our backdoor pilot.

[51:49] Yeah.

[51:49] We are not halfway through the movie, and we're already gone almost an hour, which I don't have a problem.

Elliott Kalan

[51:55] Flop House listeners, write in and tell us how much you loved Crawdaddy.

[51:58] We'll give him his own show.

Dan McCoy

[52:00] I actually don't have a problem with how far we're going over just yet because this movie deserves it, but we are going very slow.

Elliott Kalan

[52:07] Okay, well, I'll stop talking about Crawdaddy for a little bit longer.

[52:11] Oh, this is also when – so they take Jason Clarke out, and he's talking about, I hate my son Patrick.

[52:16] He's so crazy and weird.

[52:18] He's always playing a computer game about catching a fish.

[52:20] And this is when you know an English person wrote this movie is he goes, yeah, well, his maths teacher says he's real smart.

[52:26] And it's like, well, hold on a second.

[52:27] Math teacher?

[52:28] Did he say that?

[52:29] Yeah.

[52:29] We didn't even catch that.

[52:29] Like, it should – or maybe I misheard it, but, like, that's what the captions also told me was that it said – I put the captions on because I was like – there's so much grumbly mumbling from Matthew McConaughey.

[52:39] And I'm like, maths teacher.

[52:41] Someone must have caught that, right, that we don't say maths in the United States?

Jenny Jaffe

[52:43] Or Jason Clarke just, like, said it because, you know, he memorized the lines in his, you know, backwards Australian way.

[52:50] He was like, this is how we talk about it.

Elliott Kalan

[52:52] And he's like, oh, my stepson even threatened to kill me.

[52:55] And there's one cop in Plymouth.

[52:57] He's out of town on vacation.

[52:58] So if someone were to kill me or if I were to kill somebody else, I'd be – there'd be no law.

[53:03] I can do whatever I want.

[53:04] Like, they're just stacking the deck so hard in this.

[53:06] There's also one who starts talking about the underage sex workers.

Dan McCoy

[53:10] Yeah, I think so.

[53:10] It's horrifying.

[53:11] Yeah, I think you're skipping ahead a little bit and maybe confusing people.

[53:14] Like, Anne Hathaway comes.

[53:16] She's, like, trying to convince him again.

[53:19] Matthew McConaughey is like, yeah, I'll take the $10,000, but I'm going out tomorrow.

[53:23] Three men will be on the boat, and three men are coming back on the boat.

[53:26] Like, I'm not going to kill them.

[53:27] Yeah.

[53:28] And so, like, he does take this guy out in the water, and he has this amazing monologue where he admits to all the most evil things at once.

Stuart Wellington

[53:37] Yeah.

[53:38] Directly – it was directly lifted from Richard III, if I'm correct.

Elliott Kalan

[53:42] Yeah, I think you're right.

[53:43] And Richard III also ends with a fakeout where you think that they're going to push him in the water, but instead they come back having caught a big shark.

Dan McCoy

[53:49] Yeah, and at this point –

[53:50] Yeah, and at this point –

[53:51] Because it was written by William Sharkspear.

[53:54] There are – at this point, there are a lot of meaningful close-ups on Jaimon Hounsou's face as he's putting it together.

[54:01] He's like, oh, this guy's an asshole who needs to die.

[54:04] Probably that fancy lady came by to try and get my guy to kill him, and, you know, whatever.

[54:10] He's, like, got all the pieces at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[54:11] Oh, I made a note here.

[54:13] They come back.

[54:13] That's when Karen tells him it was Patrick's idea to kill his stepdad, and he says – she says he wants justice.

[54:19] But justice, isn't that the name of that famous tuna fish that Matthew McConaughey is famous for wanting to catch, and everyone on the island's caught talking about it?

[54:26] This movie is amazing.

Dan McCoy

[54:27] And it was really, like, at that point, it's like, oh, you said the secret word.

[54:31] Because, like, that's what makes Matthew McConaughey be like, all right, I'll kill him.

Jenny Jaffe

[54:35] Didn't we – I think we also skipped over something kind of important, which is that the way he gets Jaimon Hounsou back on the boat is he's like, I need you to deliver me from temptation.

Elliott Kalan

[54:42] Oh, yeah, that's right.

[54:44] Because that comes back.

[54:44] He's like, your job is you're going to be on the boat, and you're going to tell me – you're going to stop me from doing something I shouldn't.

[54:48] Yeah, yeah.

[54:49] Yeah.

[54:49] That's – you're right.

Dan McCoy

[54:50] Right, so they come back to land, and Jaimon Hounsou is taking him out for a drink, and he's like, yeah, tell me about Temptation.

Stuart Wellington

[55:00] Because he wants to –

[55:01] Temptation Island, now on NBC.

[55:04] I think it was a Fox show.

[55:06] What?

Elliott Kalan

[55:07] Fox normally doesn't play that lowbrow.

[55:10] NBC's must-see TV lineup, it was Friends, The Single Guy, Seinfeld, and Temptation Island.

Dan McCoy

[55:17] And Jaimon Hounsou is playing Jiminy Cricket here.

[55:20] He's like –

[55:21] Jiminy Cricket.

[55:22] You're a good – you're a good man.

[55:25] Don't kill that dude.

[55:27] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[55:28] And he gives – they have this conversation while they're like surrounded by a – like a Caribbean rainstorm, right?

[55:35] Yeah.

[55:36] Like a tropical storm.

Dan McCoy

[55:39] And in the storm, something happens that I forgot, like back at a shack.

Stuart Wellington

[55:43] So he doesn't go back to his shack.

[55:44] He goes to his boat where he meets up with Karen, his ex-wife.

[55:49] They have a late night rendezvous.

Elliott Kalan

[55:52] He basically – she comes on to him pretty hard and he agrees to do the job but says, I'm doing this for my son.

[55:59] I'm not doing it for you.

[55:59] And then they have the most unsatisfying, super fake movie sex I've ever seen in a movie.

Dan McCoy

[56:05] But he like deliberately blue balls her.

[56:08] Yeah.

[56:08] He's like, I'm going to fuck you.

[56:10] And then he's like, that's it.

Jenny Jaffe

[56:11] No more.

[56:12] I win.

[56:12] That's what he says.

[56:13] Because it was literally just him trying to stick it to the other dude.

[56:17] Yeah.

[56:17] By sticking it to Karen.

[56:18] This movie hates women.

[56:20] But also Anne Hathaway in this moment is just like – this is the weird thing where she's like, remember when we were 16 and you married me with a brass ring?

[56:29] And told me I was old enough on the pier?

Elliott Kalan

[56:32] Yeah, yeah.

[56:33] I was finally old enough on the pier.

[56:34] I was so scared that night or whatever.

[56:36] It's –

Dan McCoy

[56:37] It was like a bridge.

[56:38] They had sex on a bridge.

Stuart Wellington

[56:39] Yeah, and he was like, you know, people don't – he's like, people don't change.

[56:43] And she's like, well, that means I'm still that lady on the bridge.

[56:47] And you're like, what?

Dan McCoy

[56:50] Yeah, a lot of these – there's a lot of like really weird phrasings of things and like not just like fraught conversations but like the camera will focus on a thing.

[57:01] And you're sort of like, I don't know what symbolism in this movie or not, like whether something symbolic of something and that's why we're looking at it.

[57:09] Or like this is significant.

[57:10] It's clearly going to be significant in some way but I don't know why yet.

Stuart Wellington

[57:14] It feels like the kind of love scene that would be written about – a young man would write about his parents.

Elliott Kalan

[57:21] Well, that's the other thing is that once you know the twist of the movie, it's like – there's – these are weird scenes for these characters to be going through these kind of like sadistic sex games where there's a lot of like butt play with Matthew McConaughey.

Stuart Wellington

[57:34] Like why is this part of –

[57:36] I feel like a lot is searching up a scene that people are going to be disappointed by.

Dan McCoy

[57:43] No, you're right.

[57:43] I had not occurred – that had not occurred to me.

[57:46] That does not jive with the twist at all.

[57:48] No, not at all.

Elliott Kalan

[57:49] This is unless – I mean the thing is also like the kid at the center of the movie, all you can – the only thing you can really get from it by the end of the movie is that this is a creepy kid.

Dan McCoy

[57:58] Like it's a weird kid but –

[58:00] Well, you have to assume that this kid has watched like the TCM Noir marathon right before doing what he does or something like that.

[58:08] Yeah.

[58:09] Because everything is just –

[58:10] Like kids like to do.

[58:12] In that tradition.

Elliott Kalan

[58:12] Yeah, because kids love film noir.

[58:14] My son, he's five years old.

[58:16] He's always like, Daddy, can I see Detour?

[58:19] The Edgar Oma noir?

[58:21] And I'm like, one, why are you talking like a baby?

[58:23] You're five years old.

[58:25] But also like Detour.

[58:26] I mean that's a little intense.

[58:27] I mean you might find it boring too but it's a little intense.

[58:29] He's like, no, I like it.

[58:31] I like noir.

[58:32] Can we watch Double Indemnity again?

Dan McCoy

[58:34] I want to watch Gun Crazy.

[58:40] I like how the gun doubles for his penis.

[58:44] Can we watch Wawa?

[58:45] Wait, what?

Elliott Kalan

[58:46] Laura?

[58:46] Yeah, Wawa.

Jenny Jaffe

[58:49] This is such a fully realized child character.

[58:52] This is like the other character from Crawdaddy.

Elliott Kalan

[58:54] Yeah, this is Crawdaddy's kid, Noir Boy.

[58:56] And he loves film noir.

Dan McCoy

[58:58] What I like about both of those characters is there's a twist on them you wouldn't expect.

Elliott Kalan

[59:06] So Baker Dill at this point, he has a conversation to his absent son.

[59:13] And he has a line about Karen who says, opportunity pours off her like rain, which makes no sense.

[59:18] I don't understand it.

[59:20] It's like one of those lines.

[59:22] I was talking to somebody recently about the line in the movie Heist where Danny DeVito says, of course you need money.

[59:27] Everyone does.

[59:28] That's why they call it money.

[59:30] Of course you like money.

[59:32] What?

Dan McCoy

[59:32] I think it's a course you like money.

[59:34] Everyone does.

[59:35] That's why they call it money.

Elliott Kalan

[59:37] That's what they call it.

[59:37] Yeah, that's why they call it money.

[59:38] But it's like, that doesn't make any sense.

[59:40] Like money is not a double entendre.

[59:42] Like I don't understand.

[59:45] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[59:46] Maybe it meant because money sounds like honey.

Dan McCoy

[59:49] That was Roger Ebert's favorite line of the movie.

[59:52] I remember he singled out his review as being particularly funny.

Elliott Kalan

[59:55] Why?

[59:56] It makes no sense.

[59:57] Well, because funny rhymes with money.

[59:59] I get it.

[59:59] Okay.

[59:59] Yeah.

[1:00:00] So Dan, tell us, we finally get to meet the guy in the suit who's been chasing after Bacon Diller all this time.

[1:00:06] What's his deal?

Dan McCoy

[1:00:09] So his deal is at first.

[1:00:13] Do you need me to say his deal?

[1:00:14] No, no.

[1:00:15] At first his deal is I want to sell you this sonar fish finder item.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:21] It's the sort of thing that midway through a video game you would find and it would help you find fish.

[1:00:27] If you were playing a fish finding video game.

[1:00:29] But who would do such a thing?

[1:00:30] That's crazy.

[1:00:31] I mean, I would, but only if it's the original.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:34] Yeah, I mean, you know, if I was playing Jaws the video game for summer.

[1:00:37] So anyway, this fish finder guy, fish finder general, he is acting in a really like cryptic way, even though it seems like he's just there to sell Baker Dill something.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:50] He says he's a sales rep from a tackle company and he has this new sonic fish finder and he wants him to try it out for a week.

[1:00:55] And he goes, it will work.

[1:00:57] The finder will work.

[1:00:58] And then he says, and then, well, then what happens next, Dan?

[1:01:01] What do we learn?

Dan McCoy

[1:01:02] Well, is this when he says the weird statement, I am the rules?

Jenny Jaffe

[1:01:06] Yeah, as though it just slipped out of him, which like clearly it didn't.

[1:01:11] That's such a pointed sentence.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:12] Slips out of him like an unguarded fart.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:01:14] Like rain off of water.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:16] Well, the movie tries to excuse it by saying he shouldn't drink.

[1:01:20] But it's still a very weird thing for him to just spit out.

[1:01:25] And there are a couple other things that makes Matthew McConaughey suspicious.

[1:01:31] What happens next?

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:32] I mean, the guy does show up at his house at 2.30 in the morning to give him a fish finder.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:37] And he tells him, don't kill that man.

[1:01:39] You're supposed to catch this fish.

[1:01:40] You're not supposed to kill that guy.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:42] And McConaughey, at this point, threatens him with a knife and is like, what are you talking about?

[1:01:46] What's going on?

[1:01:48] And is this when the twist is revealed?

[1:01:49] Yes, this is when they reveal the twist.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:51] What's the reality of Plymouth Island, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:01:53] Yeah, could you guess it, audience?

[1:01:56] Are you there yet?

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:57] Could you guess that the cutaways to a board playing a fishing computer game might be related to this in some way?

Dan McCoy

[1:02:05] Yes.

[1:02:05] It seems that Baker Dill and the entirety of Plymouth Island are constructs of this unknown at this point to the nerdy guy creator.

[1:02:18] And I'm not really sure why, if he doesn't know the creator, he knows what the rules of the game are.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:23] But you just know that that guy is a nerd, is what you're saying.

[1:02:27] Yeah.

[1:02:27] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:28] Oh, yeah.

[1:02:29] He's a total nerd.

[1:02:30] Mr. Fishfinder.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:02:31] Yeah, it's weird that they play the creator thing like a twist for him.

[1:02:36] But, like, that's the only thing we know for sure.

[1:02:39] Like, we forget that other people don't know that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:40] Well, there must be some other movie called Fishfinder that's about this character.

[1:02:48] And he has his own discovery and twist.

[1:02:50] And it's, like, that intersected with Serenity because, yeah, it doesn't make sense why.

[1:02:55] If this character is going to come in and be like, actually, we're a computer game.

[1:02:57] I'm the rules that tell you what to do.

[1:02:59] The fact of why he would not know who the creator, like, the audience hasn't figured out who's done it by now.

[1:03:03] And Matthew McConaughey has pretty much figured it out.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:05] Yeah, Matthew McConaughey is basically, like, at this point, like, wait a minute.

[1:03:08] My son's into computers.

[1:03:10] You're saying we're part of the computer game.

[1:03:12] He's like Donatello.

[1:03:13] He does machines.

[1:03:14] Oh, thank you.

[1:03:15] So, like, he's, like, he seems pretty convinced right away, honestly, although he pretends not to be convinced.

[1:03:22] Like, you can see in his eyes that everything's, like, falling into place.

[1:03:25] But he's like, get out.

[1:03:26] Get out of here.

[1:03:27] Go on.

[1:03:28] Go on.

[1:03:28] Get.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:29] Not to make another fish pun, but the scales have fallen from his eyes.

[1:03:33] Yeah, and this is the point.

[1:03:35] Fish scales.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:36] I'm going to make perhaps a very uphill.

[1:03:40] I have a little argument here.

[1:03:41] Okay.

[1:03:42] Let's try it.

[1:03:43] Which is that this twist was much less bonkers than advertised.

[1:03:48] Because.

[1:03:48] Hot take.

[1:03:49] Okay.

[1:03:49] Because.

[1:03:50] Number one.

[1:03:51] It is so foreshadowed in the movie that you see it coming a mile away.

[1:03:56] So, you can't be gobsmacked by it that way.

[1:03:59] But number two.

[1:04:00] It's not that uncommon, like, a sci-fi construct to be like, oh, like, we're in this made-up reality.

[1:04:08] Like, this is like a Truman Show Matrix sort of situation.

[1:04:12] Cloak and Dagger sort of thing.

[1:04:13] A Dark City type thing.

[1:04:14] Yeah.

[1:04:14] So, it's not baffling to me, like, to be like, wow, it's crazy that they're video game characters.

[1:04:20] Like, that did not, like, make me think what's going on in the way it was advertised.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:25] Sorry, not to, here's why I'll say I think it's a bonkers twist.

[1:04:27] Yeah.

[1:04:28] Is because this movie, it's like, if at any point, other than their clumsy foreshadowing,

[1:04:35] they had presented this as a science fiction-y movie at all, it would be, it would not seem as crazy.

[1:04:39] It's crazy to me that this is the twist that the writer decided to put into the movie.

[1:04:44] And to be like, this whole time, I'm going to pretend it's like a southern, like a, like a, like a, like it's a sweaty, like hot film, sleazy noir.

[1:04:52] But then it's going to turn out to be a science fiction movie.

[1:04:55] But I'm going to push back, Elliot.

[1:04:56] It's gobsmacked in that I'm like, why would you do that?

[1:04:59] It's stupid.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:04:59] Well, it's because it doesn't feel like a video game that anyone would play.

[1:05:03] Like, it's, like, this isn't like a genre, if it was like the old west and suddenly it's like, oh, we're in a video game.

[1:05:08] I'm like, yeah, okay.

[1:05:09] Like, people like playing games like that.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:11] I feel like, I feel like Jenny's point is good.

[1:05:13] I'm going to push back against Elliot's point, which is, if you start the movie as a sci-fi movie, then it's not a twist at all.

[1:05:20] You're like, oh, of course, in the sci-fi universe, this is going to happen.

[1:05:23] No, no, but the difference between a twist.

[1:05:25] Like, if you switch genres this way, like, makes more sense.

[1:05:27] I mean, it makes sense to me.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:28] Like, you, in the game, you play a level where you go fishing, and then at the end of that level, you return to Constance, played by Diane Lane, where you have sex, and you level up and spend your XP's.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:41] I would say, it makes sense.

[1:05:43] It's, you don't want to give away a twist, but you have to prepare the ground for a twist.

[1:05:47] Like, if The Sixth Sense was about a man who works in a bank, and then at the end, they're like, wait, where did that teller I was talking to yesterday?

[1:05:57] Oh, he died years ago.

[1:05:58] What?

[1:05:58] That would not be a good twist.

[1:06:00] The act, you already know the movie involves ghosts.

[1:06:02] So when Bruce Willis is revealed to be a ghost, you're like, what a twist.

[1:06:05] It's, I mean, if I was watching a movie about a doctor, and then halfway through, someone was like, but you're an alien, right?

[1:06:11] And he was like, oh, yeah, I am an alien.

[1:06:12] I'd be like, what the hell is this?

[1:06:14] That's Doctor Who.

[1:06:15] I mean, it is Doctor Who.

[1:06:16] And also, this is the twist I was worried that the show Russian Doll was going to turn out to be.

[1:06:21] Oh, yeah.

[1:06:22] And I was so happy when it, I was like, oh, she's dying.

[1:06:25] She keeps coming back to the same point.

[1:06:27] She works in video games.

[1:06:28] It better not turn out that she's a character in a video game.

[1:06:30] And then it didn't turn out that.

[1:06:32] And I was like, oh, this is a great show.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:33] Spoiler alert for people who haven't watched Russian Doll.

[1:06:35] Oh, sorry.

[1:06:36] You should.

[1:06:36] It's great.

[1:06:37] It's great.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:37] It does not, the twist, the way it ends is not the dumbest, most obvious way.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:41] I do want to give the movie a little bit of credit here, which is like,

[1:06:46] sure, like, you get to the twist before the movie does.

[1:06:50] Like, you are ahead of it.

[1:06:52] However, the movie does not save this revelation for like, I don't know, like, a third or a quarter of the way from the end.

[1:07:01] Like, it gets rid of this revelation right in the middle because it's like, all right, you see what we're doing here.

[1:07:06] Let's stop fucking around.

[1:07:07] You know?

[1:07:08] Although the movie, I will say that the movie kind of like slows down after that, after the twist is revealed in a weird way.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:15] Although because the way that kind of twist is supposed to come right before the end of the climax of the movie.

[1:07:19] Yeah, maybe.

[1:07:21] But instead, yeah, we're halfway through.

[1:07:22] So it's, they got to walk around a little bit.

[1:07:24] And Matthew Connie has to kind of pretend he doesn't, like, he takes down maps of Plymouth Island to try to find it in the world.

[1:07:29] And it's like, why bother?

[1:07:31] You know what's going on.

[1:07:32] Like, you need evidence all of a sudden.

[1:07:34] That's the funniest thing in the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:35] And sometimes hard video games don't feature an in-game map of the world.

[1:07:38] Like, you have to map it out yourself or look online for a tutorial.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:42] That's what makes it, like, lovable for me.

[1:07:44] Like, what happens there.

[1:07:46] Because it's so ridiculous that in the world of the video game, Matthew McConaughey would pull out a map of Plymouth that's completely blank other than Plymouth.

[1:07:56] Like, revealing that Plymouth exists in this, like, netherworld.

[1:08:01] Rather than, like, it being like, oh, let's set this in some recognizable reality.

[1:08:06] You know, it's not like Matthew McConaughey is going to be like, oh, okay.

[1:08:09] Like, I don't know.

[1:08:10] Like, to reveal it this way is absurd, knowing what the twist is.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:13] Yeah.

[1:08:13] And you would think that a kid that would be knowledgeable enough to create the code to make his own fishing sim would make the effort to, like, study up on other places.

[1:08:24] But maybe creating a fantasy world where fishing is the only law is.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:29] He's like, I could take another couple minutes to just place it on a map somewhere.

[1:08:34] But I really have to get the rendering right on this scene where my dad's butt is thrusting into my mom for a couple seconds.

[1:08:43] Priorities.

[1:08:43] Priorities, Patrick.

[1:08:44] Come on.

[1:08:45] Focus.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:47] All right.

[1:08:48] So, at this point, I don't know.

[1:08:51] It becomes a whirlwind of, like, Matthew McConaughey, like, driving around and, like, talking to his son.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:57] Evil Jason Clark is, we find him battered, bloody, and broken in his hotel room.

[1:09:04] Turns out, Juman Honsu hired, spent his share of the 10 grand to hire some fellows to beat him up and break his hand so he could not go out fishing the next day.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:09:17] Surely this was not the most efficient way to get him to not go fishing on that particular boat.

[1:09:22] Just get a better boat or something.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:24] Or just give him anything else to do.

[1:09:25] Yeah.

[1:09:25] He already went fishing once.

[1:09:27] He wants to catch tuna that badly.

[1:09:28] He caught a shark already.

[1:09:30] Shark is cooler than tuna, right?

[1:09:31] He did.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:31] He caught a full shark.

[1:09:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:34] Yeah.

[1:09:34] And meanwhile, while we're seeing...

[1:09:35] You're not just half a shark.

[1:09:37] We'll see what happens.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:40] While we're seeing Jason Clark all busted up and possibly unable to fish today, meanwhile, Matthew McConaughey is having a total existential breakdown.

[1:09:49] Like, he's drinking a bunch of rum.

[1:09:51] He's standing in cornfields talking to his son.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:54] Diane Lane's son shows up out of nowhere and says, you can hire me for your boat.

[1:09:57] And he says, no, go away.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:58] And he leaves.

[1:09:59] He's the Denny from the room of this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:01] Yeah.

[1:10:01] He's just this random kid.

[1:10:02] Well, Samson.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:03] What Matthew McConaughey is realizing over the course of all this...

[1:10:08] I mean, he was basically told this by the rules guy, but he's also realizing the game will do anything to keep him from killing the bad husband.

[1:10:18] Like, the game is actively working against him achieving that goal because it's not in the rules that someone dies in the game.

[1:10:26] Yes.

[1:10:26] Which is, like, and so none of this makes sense, though, again, in the context of the twist of the movie.

[1:10:32] Like, why is the game working against the objective of the game in that way?

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:37] Well, I mean, every game is working against you completing the objective of the game.

[1:10:41] But also, this is positing a world where video game characters, when you make...

[1:10:45] It's like the way that when you're a kid, you imagine the TV is full of tiny people who put on shows when you watch it.

[1:10:51] Video games are full of tiny people who, like, have their own lives and are walking around doing their own thing

[1:10:55] and trying to figure out what they're up to.

[1:10:56] And it's like, well, I don't...

[1:10:58] I don't...

[1:10:58] I don't understand.

[1:10:59] Like, there's so much...

[1:11:00] Metaphysically, I'm saying, the movie's kind of a mess.

[1:11:03] But...

[1:11:03] Yeah.

[1:11:04] This is around the time when it became clear also that Baker Dill, he's like, maybe...

[1:11:09] Maybe the things I don't remember from the war, maybe that's what's doing this.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:13] And you're like, oh, I see.

[1:11:14] He died in the war.

[1:11:15] We'll find that later.

[1:11:16] I want to circle back to say, like, I think we got sidetracked.

[1:11:19] But, like, the reason that kid shows up, I don't know where to say, I can work on your boat,

[1:11:24] is the game trying to throw an obstacle up.

[1:11:27] Because he's like, oh, there's going to be a witness...

[1:11:29] Oh, right.

[1:11:30] ...to the murder if I take this kid on.

[1:11:33] And so, basically, he says, yet again, go on, get to the kid.

[1:11:37] I don't like you.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:11:38] But clearly, like, the kid who created the game wants him to kill the guy.

[1:11:45] Yes.

[1:11:45] Why is he also then supposedly programming in obstacles?

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:50] Like, what?

[1:11:51] I mean, his desires as a kid of an abusive stepdad are fighting his desires as a top-notch game developer.

[1:12:00] You can't make the game too hard that it's never beatable.

[1:12:02] But you can't make it so easy you beat it in one sitting.

[1:12:05] Like, it's the challenge.

[1:12:06] This is something I'm trying to explain to my son, and he doesn't get it because he's a kid,

[1:12:08] is the importance of a game.

[1:12:10] The fun of a game is the challenge.

[1:12:11] And so, if you win it too easily, or if you win every time, what's the point of playing?

[1:12:15] Then you're just stuck in the place from the Twilight Zone episode,

[1:12:20] where it's hell because you win all the time,

[1:12:22] that the show The Good Place, you know, ripped off, basically.

[1:12:25] You can't be...

[1:12:26] Look, you don't want to win all the time.

[1:12:27] So, the kid's like, I want my dad to die in this game.

[1:12:30] But I also want to be recognized as the Shigeru Miyamoto of my generation,

[1:12:35] who is just making the best games ever.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:39] So, anyway.

[1:12:42] McConaughey is drunk and despairing on the beach.

[1:12:47] But never looking better.

[1:12:49] The rules guy...

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:49] Oh, no, but he looks amazing.

[1:12:51] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:51] The rules guy, the fish finder guy, comes up to him,

[1:12:55] and they have this sort of argument discussion between the two of them,

[1:12:59] where the rules guy kind of disappears for certain two shots of the characters,

[1:13:05] but is there when McConaughey is looking at him.

[1:13:08] So, he's kind of this unreliable presence in the scene.

[1:13:12] But they have this conversation where McConaughey convinces the rules,

[1:13:15] hey, what the creator wants...

[1:13:17] Like, the creator is my son.

[1:13:19] And what he wants is for me to kill this abusive guy.

[1:13:24] And at that point, the rules is like,

[1:13:26] well, if the creator has changed his mind about things, I have to help you.

[1:13:29] And let me inform you, to that end,

[1:13:32] that Anne Hathaway has unlikely convinced battered and bruised Jason Clark

[1:13:38] to still go out and fish that day.

[1:13:40] And there's 15 minutes to get back there.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:13:43] Also in this scene is the moment that I knew the entire audience I saw it within the theater

[1:13:47] had become on board with it being a bad movie,

[1:13:49] which is that the rule says,

[1:13:51] we are such stuff as dreams are made of.

[1:13:53] And the audience just erupted in applause.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:56] Yes.

[1:13:57] Just the gall to quote William Sharkspear in the middle of this dumb movie.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:02] Yeah, there's a lot in this conversation that's like,

[1:14:05] you know, basically the most the movie gets like,

[1:14:08] what is the true nature of reality anyway?

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:10] There's a part earlier where Reed,

[1:14:12] he lives near a lighthouse and Reed, the rules guy,

[1:14:15] he goes, the lighthouse, light, dark, ones, zeros.

[1:14:21] And it was like, come on, dude, that doesn't mean anything.

[1:14:24] Like, it sounds like it means something.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:14:26] Of course it means something.

[1:14:27] That's why it's called money.

[1:14:29] Oh, of course.

[1:14:30] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:31] And here the movie kind of misses an opportunity because he has to race to the boat to get there

[1:14:36] in time to join Jason Clarke.

[1:14:37] And I wish that people from Plymouth Island were just jumping in front of his truck,

[1:14:41] just like, hey, stop.

[1:14:42] Hey, don't you want to catch that tuna instead?

[1:14:43] Just like trying to slow him down.

[1:14:45] So he misses him.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:46] To the end of the game,

[1:14:48] the game trying to slow him down or change his mind rather.

[1:14:51] Like, I forgot one of the most hilarious examples of that earlier,

[1:14:54] which is when the radio station expressly says,

[1:14:57] Baker Dill, don't you want to go out and catch that tuna today?

[1:15:00] Like something along those lines.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:03] Which I thought was really funny.

[1:15:04] Talk about narrow casting.

[1:15:05] I mean, come on.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:06] Yeah.

[1:15:07] I mean, that's what happens.

[1:15:08] Sometimes you can buy a birthday message for the radio guy to read.

[1:15:11] It's like his own Jumbotron.

[1:15:14] It was this around the time where Anne Hathaway,

[1:15:17] despairing that her soon-to-be-dead, spoiler alert, husband,

[1:15:21] looks like he's unable to fish.

[1:15:24] She convinces him that he can still go out.

[1:15:27] Oh, God.

[1:15:27] By having him choke her like he would choke his fishing rod or something.

[1:15:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:33] If he has the strength to choke her with his hand,

[1:15:36] then he must have the strength to hold a fishing rod.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:15:37] They also introduce like kind of,

[1:15:40] they don't really do it most of the movie.

[1:15:42] And then at this point,

[1:15:44] she starts calling him daddy with like reckless abandon.

[1:15:48] And it's really upsetting.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:50] Yeah.

[1:15:50] It's gross.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:54] So they all converge on the boat.

[1:15:56] If she had called him crawdaddy,

[1:15:58] people would have been like,

[1:15:58] who's this new character?

[1:16:00] I love him.

[1:16:00] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:01] I'm going to have to Google that when I get out of the movie theater.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:06] So they all converge on the boat.

[1:16:07] Anne Hathaway and McConaughey go out on the boat with Jason Clark.

[1:16:15] And?

[1:16:16] Planet of Kiltwell.

[1:16:17] Let me get there.

[1:16:18] And they're like.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:19] And Dil is in full on crazy mode.

[1:16:20] He's like,

[1:16:20] ha ha.

[1:16:21] Oh,

[1:16:21] we're going to go fish.

[1:16:22] Ah,

[1:16:23] ooh.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:23] Yeah.

[1:16:24] And he's pouring rum down Jason Clark's throat,

[1:16:28] making him as drunk as possible.

[1:16:30] And everything looks great for a murder.

[1:16:33] Whoa,

[1:16:34] what a day for a murder.

[1:16:35] Let's have one too.

[1:16:37] And right at that moment,

[1:16:38] the kid shows up,

[1:16:40] the one that wanted a job.

[1:16:41] Sam Lane's son.

[1:16:43] Yeah,

[1:16:43] he had stowed away because he's like,

[1:16:45] I knew you really wanted me on the boat.

[1:16:49] I forget what his reasoning was,

[1:16:51] but you know.

[1:16:52] Well,

[1:16:52] yeah,

[1:16:52] yeah.

[1:16:52] He's like,

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:53] I could tell you were Harry in the Henderson's in me.

[1:16:55] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:55] So I stowed away on your boat.

[1:16:57] So I'm here to help.

[1:16:58] If you're going to do that,

[1:16:58] you must be a true friend.

[1:16:59] So I'll stick by you through thick and thin.

[1:17:02] Oh,

[1:17:02] what adventures we shall have and quests we shall go on.

[1:17:05] Oh,

[1:17:06] what the bards shall sing of us and our search for the uncatchable fish.

[1:17:10] Justice.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:11] So at this point,

[1:17:13] you know,

[1:17:13] Makani and Anne Hathor are like,

[1:17:14] what are we going to do?

[1:17:16] There's a witness.

[1:17:17] And.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:18] I wish,

[1:17:18] I wish that Anne Hathor had turned to Maddie Makani and then tugged on her collar and went.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:23] So they have a quick,

[1:17:25] conversation in the,

[1:17:27] uh,

[1:17:28] in the,

[1:17:29] in the cabin being like,

[1:17:30] how do we handle all this?

[1:17:31] And they throw some things around that wouldn't work.

[1:17:34] And,

[1:17:35] uh,

[1:17:36] at this point,

[1:17:36] the,

[1:17:37] the justice,

[1:17:38] uh,

[1:17:39] takes the bait.

[1:17:40] There's a fish on the line and it happens to be justice.

[1:17:43] And at this point I was like the second point in the movie,

[1:17:46] I'm like,

[1:17:46] Oh,

[1:17:46] I know what's going to happen.

[1:17:48] So the way they dispatch Jason Clark finally is they let him take the rod.

[1:17:54] When justice is on the line.

[1:17:56] And like,

[1:17:58] uh,

[1:17:58] McConaughey says very loudly to the kid being like,

[1:18:01] let it be noted that,

[1:18:02] uh,

[1:18:03] this guy has asked for the real.

[1:18:05] And of course,

[1:18:07] justice being justice.

[1:18:10] Oh,

[1:18:11] Jason Clark under the water.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:13] Uh,

[1:18:13] I wish Matthew Monaghan said,

[1:18:15] you hear that ringing?

[1:18:16] Justice is on the line.

[1:18:18] Instead.

[1:18:18] What he says is he's like,

[1:18:19] you see,

[1:18:20] he goes,

[1:18:20] that's justice.

[1:18:22] You got him.

[1:18:22] And he's like,

[1:18:23] yeah,

[1:18:23] yeah.

[1:18:23] And he's got you.

[1:18:24] And then they let go of Jason Clark and he flies into the water,

[1:18:27] uh,

[1:18:28] a,

[1:18:28] to drown,

[1:18:29] you know,

[1:18:30] by justice,

[1:18:31] the fish,

[1:18:32] he doesn't,

[1:18:32] it's not like the end of shape of water.

[1:18:34] He doesn't grow gills.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:34] And the important thing is this is all intercut with the son at his computer with a knife in front of him.

[1:18:41] Clearly,

[1:18:41] uh,

[1:18:42] you know,

[1:18:43] hamleting it about whether he's going to kill this guy.

[1:18:45] Yep.

[1:18:46] And at the moment that they finally,

[1:18:48] uh,

[1:18:49] kill Jason Clark.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:50] He goes,

[1:18:50] to be or not to be.

[1:18:52] For in such games of fishing,

[1:18:53] what,

[1:18:54] what tunas shall we catch?

[1:18:56] Like that,

[1:18:56] he just,

[1:18:57] you know,

[1:18:57] does this little,

[1:18:58] but he,

[1:18:58] he mods it for this one.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:00] So yeah,

[1:19:01] when the,

[1:19:01] when the imaginary abusive father dies is when he goes into the other house.

[1:19:04] other room and,

[1:19:06] uh,

[1:19:07] off camera stabs the real father.

[1:19:10] Now,

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:10] how is that information relayed to us that he has now stabbed his stepdad?

Dan McCoy

[1:19:13] Uh,

[1:19:14] there's a bunch of news reports about how this kid got,

[1:19:17] uh,

[1:19:18] arrested for,

[1:19:20] uh,

[1:19:20] murder.

[1:19:21] Uh,

[1:19:21] and,

[1:19:22] uh,

[1:19:22] but there's mitigating circumstances.

[1:19:24] There was abuse in the family.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:19:26] And here's his father's deal.

[1:19:28] Yeah.

[1:19:28] And they're like,

[1:19:28] his,

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:29] his dad,

[1:19:30] John Mason died in Iraq.

[1:19:31] And we see his dad,

[1:19:33] and was awarded a posthumous purple heart.

[1:19:34] We see his dad's picture in purple heart in Patrick's desk.

[1:19:36] My favorite part of the news report says,

[1:19:38] uh,

[1:19:38] his principal,

[1:19:39] Dylan Baker says that he's a good kid and talented with computers.

[1:19:43] And it's like,

[1:19:43] why is this in the news report?

[1:19:45] One,

[1:19:45] why is this story on the news?

[1:19:47] Two,

[1:19:47] why is that in the news report?

[1:19:48] It's such a,

[1:19:49] uh,

[1:19:49] it's like the movie.

[1:19:51] And it's,

[1:19:51] I mean,

[1:19:51] the 24 hour news cycle,

[1:19:53] Elliot,

[1:19:53] you know,

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:54] 24 hour news cycle,

[1:19:55] you got to fill.

[1:19:55] Yeah.

[1:19:56] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:56] There's a reason Anderson Cooper twice each night.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:58] Did you,

[1:19:59] did you mention that after he gets,

[1:20:01] uh,

[1:20:01] Jason Clark gets dragged under the,

[1:20:03] the,

[1:20:03] the waves to be taken to Davy Jones's locker,

[1:20:06] that Matthew McConaughey like digitizes like the lawnmower man and

[1:20:10] no,

[1:20:10] that's this later.

[1:20:11] That comes up.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:12] That hasn't happened yet.

[1:20:12] That comes later.

[1:20:13] Um,

[1:20:14] so yeah,

[1:20:14] at this,

[1:20:15] this is the point at which we learn,

[1:20:16] okay,

[1:20:17] the real Matthew McConaughey,

[1:20:19] McConaughey prime died in Iraq and that's part of,

[1:20:22] and you saw that,

[1:20:23] but he is prime.

[1:20:23] Prime cut.

[1:20:24] And that along with the abuse,

[1:20:26] presumably also like is why this kid is withdrawn into this fantasy world where he is built a fake dad.

[1:20:33] Well,

[1:20:34] I mean,

[1:20:35] a real dad,

[1:20:36] but is,

[1:20:36] but you know,

[1:20:37] it's revealed that he,

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:38] he had a memory when he was three,

[1:20:39] his dad took him fishing.

[1:20:41] They didn't catch anything,

[1:20:41] but they had a good time,

[1:20:42] but his dad got kind of mad and that's why he's become,

[1:20:46] he's associated his dad with fishing and also with never catching fish.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:20:50] And anger.

[1:20:51] He was a terrible dad.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:52] He does come off as a bad dad,

Jenny Jaffe

[1:20:54] a bad dad.

[1:20:54] He's a bad dad,

[1:20:55] fake dad.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:58] Uh,

[1:20:59] yeah.

[1:20:59] So all the pieces are put together and McConaughey goes and the phone rings,

[1:21:05] I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:05] He tells Baker Dill,

[1:21:06] you'll find Patrick somewhere.

[1:21:07] And then she disappears.

[1:21:08] Everyone in Plymouth Island has disappeared by this point.

[1:21:10] Oh yeah.

[1:21:11] Like so much junk code.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:13] Yeah.

[1:21:13] They all like open their mouths and you get a,

[1:21:16] uh,

[1:21:16] you get like a,

[1:21:17] like a dial up modem connection sound effect.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:20] So now Matthew McConaughey is on the phone,

[1:21:24] uh,

[1:21:25] to his kid,

[1:21:26] uh,

[1:21:27] like,

[1:21:28] you know,

[1:21:29] fake life to real life.

[1:21:30] They're chatting.

[1:21:31] Uh,

[1:21:31] and because like,

[1:21:34] well,

[1:21:34] here's,

[1:21:34] here's the thing.

[1:21:35] Like,

[1:21:35] I want to say before this,

[1:21:37] like we see like a picture of the kid in like,

[1:21:43] basically like a sanitarium type thing or something.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:45] Not even a picture.

[1:21:46] Film footage.

[1:21:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:48] Like there.

[1:21:50] And like,

[1:21:51] it becomes clear that he may not never like withdraw from this fantasy life.

[1:21:58] Well,

[1:21:58] they say,

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:59] they say on the news that he's been released to his mom's custody,

[1:22:01] but he won't talk to anybody.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:02] Yeah.

[1:22:03] And the thing is like the,

[1:22:05] this movie at this point,

[1:22:06] because there's about to be a reunion between father and son,

[1:22:09] this movie is positing that it's a happy ending that this kid has gone crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:14] Mm hmm.

[1:22:15] Someone saw Brazil and they were like,

[1:22:17] Oh,

[1:22:18] I love,

[1:22:19] Oh,

[1:22:19] thank God.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:20] But,

[1:22:21] uh,

[1:22:21] so they have a sentimental talk and the kids like,

[1:22:24] you know,

[1:22:24] I'm going to redesign the game so I can come visit you sometimes.

[1:22:28] Again,

[1:22:28] the withdrawal into fantasy I was talking about.

[1:22:31] And at that point,

[1:22:32] because the game is being redesigned,

[1:22:33] the world around Matthew began to splits into,

[1:22:36] you know,

[1:22:37] polygons and shards.

[1:22:39] Mm hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:39] And it swirls around him.

[1:22:41] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:42] And,

[1:22:43] uh,

[1:22:43] and it looks awesome.

[1:22:44] That's what we're trying to say.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:45] And then the,

[1:22:46] and it ends with Patrick appears in the game and runs off to,

[1:22:50] to Baker Dill's boat and they hug.

[1:22:51] And then the boat goes off into the distance and you got to assume,

[1:22:55] you know,

[1:22:55] this is my spoiler alert for what this,

[1:22:57] what happens afterwards is,

[1:22:59] uh,

[1:22:59] his,

[1:22:59] his son is like,

[1:23:00] uh,

[1:23:01] dad,

[1:23:02] is that what having sex is like?

[1:23:06] Did I do that right?

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:08] I'm disappointed that the end didn't feature their boat,

[1:23:11] like pulling up to an Island covered in monsters,

[1:23:13] like the end of deep rising,

[1:23:14] but that's okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:16] Or like,

[1:23:17] like,

[1:23:17] uh,

[1:23:18] yes,

[1:23:18] some aliens come by and start shooting at them.

[1:23:21] And Patrick's like,

[1:23:21] I changed the game,

[1:23:22] dad.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:25] Uh,

[1:23:25] okay.

[1:23:26] So we've told the story of soranity.

[1:23:28] Yay.

[1:23:30] Let's tell the story of our feelings about serenity in final judgments.

[1:23:34] Is this a good,

[1:23:35] bad movie,

[1:23:35] a bad,

[1:23:36] bad movie or a movie kind of like,

[1:23:38] I want to go later.

[1:23:39] I feel like,

[1:23:40] I want to go later.

[1:23:41] Why don't you guys take the wheel?

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:43] Yeah.

[1:23:43] I mean,

[1:23:43] I'll,

[1:23:44] I'll handle it.

[1:23:45] Uh,

[1:23:45] I think this is a good,

[1:23:46] bad movie.

[1:23:46] Uh,

[1:23:47] I think it's really goofy and it's fun to watch with other people and it's dumb and you know,

[1:23:51] whatever.

[1:23:52] Enjoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:52] Yeah,

[1:23:53] I agree.

[1:23:53] It's a good,

[1:23:55] I mean,

[1:23:55] there's some icky,

[1:23:56] gross stuff about it.

[1:23:57] So you might know who you're watching it with,

[1:23:59] but it's so over the top,

[1:24:01] even before the stupid twist,

[1:24:03] it's so over the top in terms of it's like sweat and noir sleaze quotient.

[1:24:07] And then once you get to the twist,

[1:24:08] you're like,

Jenny Jaffe

[1:24:09] I knew that was going to happen,

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:11] but still movie.

[1:24:12] It's a good,

[1:24:13] good,

Jenny Jaffe

[1:24:14] I think this is one of my favorite good,

[1:24:16] bad movies.

[1:24:17] I bought it because I'm excited to show it to everybody.

[1:24:20] I know,

[1:24:20] uh,

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:22] you know,

[1:24:23] someone ran into it.

[1:24:24] So this sounds like a warning.

[1:24:25] We sold one.

[1:24:26] We sold one.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:24:27] I also realized my friend pointed out,

[1:24:29] we were looking at,

[1:24:30] um,

[1:24:30] my,

[1:24:30] uh,

[1:24:31] really just paltry iTunes movie collection and I own two Jason Clark movies.

[1:24:35] And the other is our lips are sealed.

[1:24:37] The Mary Kate and Ashley movie that takes place in Australia.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:41] All right,

[1:24:42] guys,

[1:24:42] I'm going to say something.

[1:24:43] Oh my God.

[1:24:44] Buckle our seatbelts.

[1:24:45] Uh,

[1:24:46] get a harness on.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:47] Yeah.

[1:24:47] Hold down your wig so it doesn't flip off.

[1:24:50] Everybody kind of like,

[1:24:51] I kind of liked this movie.

[1:24:52] I kind of liked this movie.

[1:24:54] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:55] Now here's what I'm going to say.

[1:24:56] For me,

[1:24:56] the biggest negative about this movie is that it's,

[1:25:00] Matthew McConaughey's butt.

[1:25:01] Yeah,

[1:25:01] sure.

[1:25:02] Is that it's a pretty damn trivial movie to take on so much like spousal abuse and child abuse.

[1:25:10] Like,

[1:25:11] like it doesn't,

[1:25:12] it does not deserve that as a plot point because it's such a silly movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:15] The tragedy of losing a dad in a war,

[1:25:16] like all that,

[1:25:16] like all that stuff.

[1:25:18] It does not,

[1:25:18] it's,

[1:25:19] it's a slender read for the weight of all that trauma.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:21] Yes.

[1:25:22] That being said,

[1:25:23] so I love the first half because I love that tradition of super cheesy,

[1:25:28] like,

[1:25:29] uh,

[1:25:30] hot weather,

[1:25:30] like sunbaked noir.

[1:25:32] like,

[1:25:33] we're like,

[1:25:33] like I said,

[1:25:34] sweats all over everything.

[1:25:35] Maybe someone wears a Panama hat.

[1:25:37] I don't know.

[1:25:37] Like,

[1:25:37] like,

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:38] yeah,

[1:25:39] basically Dan really loves burn notice.

[1:25:41] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:42] Well,

[1:25:43] it's less noir,

[1:25:44] but yeah,

[1:25:44] sure.

[1:25:44] Why not?

[1:25:45] Uh,

[1:25:45] characters.

[1:25:46] Well,

[1:25:46] welcome.

[1:25:46] Um,

[1:25:47] no,

[1:25:48] but like,

[1:25:48] I love that stuff.

[1:25:50] And I have to say,

[1:25:51] like,

[1:25:52] I don't know if you guys will agree with me,

[1:25:53] but I think it's hard to disagree.

[1:25:56] Even if this movie is very silly,

[1:25:58] it's shot very well.

[1:26:00] Like it looks pretty beautiful all through it.

[1:26:03] I think.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:26:03] It has,

[1:26:04] it does a weird thing where it introduces Anne Hathaway and Jason Clark in

[1:26:09] these,

[1:26:09] I think there's supposed to be like character introductions from a video game.

[1:26:13] Like these.

[1:26:14] Yeah.

[1:26:14] And the camera swings around and changes.

[1:26:17] Yeah.

[1:26:17] I thought that was so weird.

[1:26:19] But I,

[1:26:19] but there were some like shots of the water where I was like,

[1:26:21] wow,

[1:26:22] that's a really beautiful shot of the water.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:24] I would say it is,

[1:26:25] it looks,

[1:26:25] it looks good.

[1:26:26] It is shot and edited in such a way that it is maximum melodrama on in

[1:26:31] air.

[1:26:31] Oh,

[1:26:31] but that,

[1:26:32] but that's the,

[1:26:33] but it's all this.

[1:26:34] I know that's what they were going for,

[1:26:35] but they went so far with it that I was like,

[1:26:37] if this is not a comedy,

[1:26:39] then you're going too far with this.

[1:26:41] Well,

Dan McCoy

[1:26:42] the movie looks good.

[1:26:43] I will give it that.

[1:26:44] Well,

[1:26:44] that's what,

[1:26:44] but like the maximum melodrama is another one of the things that I really like about it.

[1:26:48] Cause it like,

[1:26:49] for me,

[1:26:50] this is a movie for people who are like really,

[1:26:53] really into movies in a way.

[1:26:54] Cause it,

[1:26:55] it,

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:55] it does like cinephiles only.

[1:26:58] No,

[1:26:58] no,

[1:26:59] no,

[1:26:59] I didn't say that.

[1:27:00] I said like,

[1:27:00] like essentials.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:01] So whether it be like good movies or like trashy movies,

[1:27:05] like the movie very much trades on your knowledge of this type of film and is like ramping up the melodrama because it's like kind of a silly version of a noir film.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:19] Yeah.

[1:27:19] I guess so.

[1:27:19] I guess you are,

[1:27:20] you are kind of a,

[1:27:21] I think we come from it.

[1:27:22] I mean,

[1:27:23] I do think it's a good,

[1:27:24] I think we're coming out from two opposing things,

[1:27:26] which is that I agree that it is attempting those things.

[1:27:29] I think it doesn't pull them off as well as you do.

[1:27:32] It's the same.

[1:27:33] It reminds me of what Mike Nelson wrote about the movie wild things where he was like,

[1:27:36] the movie is trying to have it both ways that if you like it,

[1:27:40] that's because it's like a clever thriller.

[1:27:42] But if you don't like it,

[1:27:43] well,

[1:27:43] it's tongue in cheek.

[1:27:44] It's,

[1:27:44] you're supposed to laugh at it anyway.

[1:27:45] And this kind of feels like that to me a little bit.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:47] Uh,

[1:27:48] spoiler alert.

[1:27:49] I kind of like wild things.

[1:27:50] I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:50] that's not a spoiler.

[1:27:52] Anybody who's listened to this podcast could probably piece that together.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:54] Uh,

[1:27:55] but anyways,

[1:27:56] certain scenes from wild things.

[1:27:57] I'm sure you've seen many times.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:59] As I said,

[1:28:00] uh,

[1:28:00] before the other thing,

[1:28:01] like once the movie turns from like that noir movie into this goofy sci-fi concept,

[1:28:06] construct,

[1:28:07] I,

[1:28:08] again,

[1:28:09] like I said earlier in the movie,

[1:28:10] I didn't think the twist was that bonkers because it's like other twists I've seen.

[1:28:15] So I at least appreciated that it got,

[1:28:17] the movie got rid of it pretty quick and then just committed to that idea with a lot of silliness.

[1:28:23] And,

[1:28:24] you know,

[1:28:25] I just liked the silliness.

[1:28:27] I wish,

[1:28:27] I wish it had gotten even sillier.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:28] I wish that when he jumped into the water,

[1:28:30] you were here like,

[1:28:30] like a Mario jumping sound.

[1:28:33] Yeah.

[1:28:34] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:35] And I know it's just,

[1:28:35] yeah,

[1:28:35] some kind of,

[1:28:36] some kind of,

[1:28:37] uh,

[1:28:37] some kind of death sound effect.

[1:28:39] Does he,

[1:28:39] he goes in there?

[1:28:40] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:42] Something like that.

[1:28:43] A little ghost,

[1:28:44] a little ghost floats up.

[1:28:45] When somebody dies,

[1:28:46] they,

[1:28:47] they dissolve away.

[1:28:48] And then there's like a big chunk of meat left on the ground that he can use as a power

[1:28:51] up.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:52] Yeah.

[1:28:52] As soon as,

[1:28:53] as soon as he hits the water,

[1:28:54] he explodes into circles like Mega Man.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:57] Exactly.

[1:28:58] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:59] Uh,

[1:28:59] anyway,

[1:29:00] what a yarn that was.

[1:29:02] Let's move on.

[1:29:03] Okay.

[1:29:04] Mm-hmm.

[1:29:06] Welcome back to Fireside Chat on KMAX.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:14] With me in studio to take your calls is the dopest duo on the West Coast, Oliver Wong and

[1:29:19] Morgan Rhodes.

[1:29:21] Go ahead,

[1:29:21] caller.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:22] Hey,

[1:29:22] uh,

[1:29:23] I'm looking for a music podcast that's insightful and thoughtful, but like also helps me discover

[1:29:27] artists and albums that I've never heard of.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:29:29] Yeah,

[1:29:30] man.

[1:29:30] Sounds like you need to listen to Heat Rocks.

[1:29:32] Every week,

[1:29:32] myself and I'm Morgan Rhodes and my co-host here,

[1:29:35] Oliver Wong,

[1:29:36] talk to influential guests about a canonical album that has changed their lives.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:41] Guests like Moby,

[1:29:42] open mic eagle,

[1:29:43] talk about albums by Prince,

[1:29:45] Joni Mitchell,

Dan McCoy

[1:29:46] and so much more.

[1:29:47] Yo,

[1:29:48] what's that show called again?

Jenny Jaffe

[1:29:49] Heat Rocks,

[1:29:50] deep dives into hot records.

[1:29:52] Every Thursday on Maximum Fun.

S5

[1:29:55] Hi,

[1:29:56] I'm Biz.

[1:29:57] And I'm Teresa.

[1:29:57] And we host One Bad Mother,

[1:29:59] a comedy podcast about parenting.

[1:30:01] Whether you are a parent or just know kids exist in the world,

[1:30:05] join us each week as we honestly share what it's like to be a parent.

[1:30:09] I,

[1:30:10] before children,

[1:30:11] definitely didn't think it was going to be this hard.

[1:30:14] I'm going to ask my children to do X,

[1:30:16] Y,

[1:30:16] or Z,

[1:30:17] and they're going to do it.

[1:30:18] And I'm going to lead by example.

[1:30:20] They're going to know,

[1:30:20] they're going to do it because they're going to see me doing it.

[1:30:23] Right.

[1:30:23] And children naturally want to please adults.

[1:30:26] Yeah.

[1:30:27] You know what?

[1:30:27] I'll make it kind of fun.

[1:30:29] Yeah.

[1:30:29] And that'll be fun.

[1:30:30] Totally.

[1:30:30] But I won't necessarily use bribes.

[1:30:33] And I would never use threats.

[1:30:35] Right.

[1:30:35] That was my pre-child thinking.

[1:30:38] Yes.

[1:30:38] And like if somebody came in and saw us doing this.

[1:30:41] Yeah.

[1:30:42] They would judge.

[1:30:43] Yeah.

[1:30:44] Oh yeah.

[1:30:44] So join us each week as we judge less,

[1:30:47] laugh more,

[1:30:48] and remind you that you are doing a great job.

[1:30:51] Find us on MaximumFun.org,

[1:30:52] on Apple Podcasts,

[1:30:54] or wherever you get your podcasts.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:56] So we don't have any corporate sponsors this week,

[1:31:01] but who needs corporations when you've got people?

[1:31:04] Corporations are people,

[1:31:05] my friend.

[1:31:06] What?

[1:31:06] I'm a Romney.

[1:31:10] Anyway.

[1:31:13] No,

[1:31:13] but we do have a couple of-

[1:31:14] Topical.

[1:31:16] We do have a couple of Jumbotrons

[1:31:18] that I've emailed to each of my respective co-hosts

[1:31:21] to read on the air.

[1:31:22] That's right.

[1:31:22] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:23] So fire this up.

[1:31:24] Coming to you live from Plymouth Radio.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:28] This is from Patrick to Baker Dill,

[1:31:32] and the message is,

[1:31:33] you want to catch that fish, don't you?

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:35] Wink.

[1:31:36] So this message is for Ben.

[1:31:39] This message is also from Ben.

[1:31:43] Hello, idiot.

[1:31:44] Just kidding.

[1:31:46] Congratulations for finishing your high school career.

[1:31:48] I hope that the cool-as-a-cucumber tones of Stuart Wellington,

[1:31:52] or the sleep-deprived ramblings of Dan's solo ad reads,

[1:31:58] are the perfect graduation gift.

[1:32:01] I wish you many college days of listening to the Flophouse

[1:32:04] instead of studying like you should be.

[1:32:07] Wormy boners, et cetera, et cetera.

[1:32:09] Congratulations, Ben.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:11] Yeah, that's very nice.

[1:32:12] I mean, I think,

Dan McCoy

[1:32:14] I will say,

[1:32:14] I think you probably should have used your graduation money

[1:32:16] for something else,

[1:32:18] not getting us to talk to you,

[1:32:19] but I appreciate the support.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:23] Yeah, that's a nice segue to my Jumbotron.

[1:32:25] This is a message for David,

[1:32:27] and the message is from...

[1:32:27] Yeah, like you could have spent that money on a segue.

[1:32:30] Yeah.

[1:32:33] To get to class faster.

[1:32:34] It's the way everyone will be moving in the future.

[1:32:36] We're not going to need cars anymore.

[1:32:38] This is a message for David,

[1:32:39] and it's from Eric,

[1:32:40] and David says to Eric,

[1:32:41] we love you, bro.

[1:32:43] Two years ago,

[1:32:43] you bought a Jumbotron for me

[1:32:45] as I began my South American,

[1:32:46] name of country withheld, adventure.

[1:32:48] Even though Mom said it was the biggest waste

[1:32:50] of $100 she had ever heard of,

[1:32:52] I can think of no greater gift

[1:32:53] than to waste another $100

[1:32:54] as you begin your new adventure with Bridget

[1:32:56] in, name of city withheld, Illinois.

[1:32:59] That's very nice, too.

[1:33:01] Aww.

[1:33:01] That's great.

[1:33:02] These are some sweet Jumbotrons today.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:03] That's adorable.

[1:33:04] There are a couple of quick pieces of business

[1:33:07] to get through before we move on.

[1:33:09] I'm going to keep them extra quick

[1:33:10] and say that the best way

[1:33:11] of finding out about both of these things

[1:33:14] is just to go to the Flophouse Podcast,

[1:33:16] or sorry, Flophouse Podcast.

[1:33:17] know the Flophouse Podcast dot com.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:20] It's okay, Dan.

[1:33:20] We've only had the website for 10 years.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:23] I have it open on my phone, too.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:33:26] That's because Squarespace makes it mobile optimized.

[1:33:30] They did not pay us this time.

[1:33:31] Oh, no!

[1:33:32] You did not mention Squarespace.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:35] If you go to the handy events page,

[1:33:38] you can see our four upcoming shows

[1:33:41] if you want to go to one of those.

[1:33:43] Next one is June A.

[1:33:44] It's in Portland, Minneapolis,

[1:33:46] Los Angeles, and Boston.

[1:33:48] But not in that order.

[1:33:50] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:52] I'd also like to take this moment

[1:33:54] to briefly plug.

[1:33:56] My wife and I opened a brand new bar.

[1:33:58] I think I mentioned it.

[1:33:59] I might have mentioned it here.

[1:34:00] I definitely mentioned it

[1:34:01] on other social media.

[1:34:03] And it's a little baby bird of a business,

[1:34:06] so we would love your support and help.

[1:34:09] It's called Mini's Bar,

[1:34:11] M-I-N-N-I-E apostrophe S.

[1:34:13] And it's in Sunset Park, Brooklyn,

[1:34:17] on 4th Avenue and 33rd Street.

[1:34:20] Yeah.

[1:34:20] Come check it out.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:20] So if, you know,

[1:34:22] maybe even you've been around in New York

[1:34:25] and you're like,

[1:34:26] Kensington's too far from where I am.

[1:34:28] Now you've got another option.

[1:34:29] Yeah.

[1:34:31] There was the other thing

[1:34:32] that I was going to say, though,

[1:34:32] about the website.

[1:34:33] If you go to the blog section,

[1:34:36] we are running that t-shirt contest.

[1:34:39] So winners can choose a movie

[1:34:41] for us to talk about

[1:34:42] and get a tiny bit of scratch.

[1:34:44] Is there a deadline

[1:34:44] for that contest, Dan?

[1:34:46] Deadline is the end of May.

[1:34:48] So just go there

[1:34:49] and all the technical...

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:50] May 31st.

[1:34:51] The last day of May.

[1:34:52] Yes.

[1:34:53] Go on.

[1:34:54] To be specific.

[1:34:54] But why put a number on it?

[1:34:55] Let's just say end of May.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:59] Well, okay.

[1:35:00] I think you can figure out

[1:35:02] what I was saying.

[1:35:02] Hey, look.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:02] Look, the date ain't nothing

[1:35:03] but a number.

[1:35:04] Let's just say May.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:06] But all the technical specs

[1:35:07] of what you got to do

[1:35:09] are on the blog.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:10] Yeah, when you say end of May,

[1:35:12] they might think,

[1:35:12] by the end of this movie May

[1:35:14] that I'm watching on demand?

[1:35:16] That's crazy.

[1:35:17] How would he know that?

[1:35:18] They're like,

[1:35:19] end of May for which year?

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:20] 2047?

[1:35:22] 2092?

[1:35:25] I will say,

[1:35:26] the live shows,

[1:35:27] the next one coming up

[1:35:27] is on June 8th in Portland.

[1:35:29] So that's,

[1:35:30] by the time this episode comes out,

[1:35:32] only a few weeks away.

[1:35:33] So get your tickets,

[1:35:35] Portland,

[1:35:35] June 8th.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:37] Okay, let's move on to letters.

[1:35:39] Letters from listeners.

[1:35:40] Listeners like you.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:35:43] Letters.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:44] From listeners.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:35:45] And listeners.

[1:35:47] Like you.

[1:35:49] We're reading.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:51] Your letters.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:35:52] And loving.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:54] Your pancakes.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:35:57] Hey, pancakes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:59] Thanks for sending us pancakes.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:36:01] We're eating all these pancakes.

[1:36:03] So many pancakes.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:07] Pancakes.

[1:36:09] That's the Crawdaddy theme song.

[1:36:11] You know,

[1:36:13] the thing I think I love most

[1:36:14] about that letters song

[1:36:15] is that it's not about letters.

[1:36:21] Rather,

[1:36:21] it's about pancakes.

[1:36:24] Oh,

[1:36:25] I missed that subtext.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:27] Yeah,

[1:36:27] it's pretty,

[1:36:28] it's hidden pretty deep.

[1:36:29] Just like in Serenity,

[1:36:30] the justice theme

[1:36:30] is pretty,

[1:36:31] pretty hard to see.

[1:36:32] So anyway,

[1:36:33] so.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:34] It's just like,

[1:36:34] it's just like that song

[1:36:35] Born in the USA.

[1:36:36] I thought it was about

[1:36:37] being born in the USA,

[1:36:38] but it's actually about pancakes.

[1:36:40] Yeah,

[1:36:40] exactly.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:36:42] Pancakes are kind of

[1:36:42] the letters of breakfast food

[1:36:43] because you can shape them

[1:36:44] like pancakes.

[1:36:45] Actually,

[1:36:45] you know what?

[1:36:46] Alphabets.

[1:36:46] Those are really the letters

[1:36:48] of cereal.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:49] Never mind.

[1:36:49] Pancakes are kind of like

[1:36:50] the letters of breakfast

[1:36:51] in that they always,

[1:36:54] tell you something

[1:36:55] you didn't know before.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:56] Do your pancakes

[1:36:56] talk to you guys?

[1:36:59] This first letter

[1:37:00] is from Alex,

[1:37:01] last name we're withheld.

[1:37:02] Pete Keaton,

[1:37:03] sure.

[1:37:04] He writes,

[1:37:05] thanks for putting on

[1:37:06] such a great live show

[1:37:07] at Earlham.

[1:37:07] Come back to Indiana

[1:37:08] anytime.

[1:37:09] That's in reference

[1:37:10] to a show

[1:37:10] that we've done

[1:37:11] but not released

[1:37:12] that was about

[1:37:14] Jurassic World

[1:37:14] Fallen Kingdom

[1:37:15] which comes into play

[1:37:16] in paragraph two.

[1:37:19] Thanks for the annotations

[1:37:21] on this letter, Dan.

[1:37:23] One element

[1:37:24] of Jurassic World

[1:37:25] Fallen Kingdom

[1:37:26] that I love

[1:37:26] is that there's

[1:37:27] no less than

[1:37:28] three scenes

[1:37:29] that relied

[1:37:29] on the T-Rex

[1:37:30] being stealthy.

[1:37:32] One of the most

[1:37:32] iconic scenes

[1:37:33] in the original

[1:37:34] Jurassic Park

[1:37:35] is the water cup scene.

[1:37:37] Yet here we are

[1:37:38] a few movies later

[1:37:39] and this massive creature

[1:37:40] is apparently

[1:37:41] a master of the sneak

[1:37:42] and pops out

[1:37:43] from the side

[1:37:44] of the frame

[1:37:44] once per act.

[1:37:46] In that spirit,

[1:37:48] what are your

[1:37:48] most memorable times

[1:37:49] that a franchise

[1:37:50] has wildly ignored

[1:37:51] previously established

[1:37:52] rules either for good

[1:37:54] or for bad?

[1:37:55] Thanks for the years

[1:37:55] of laughter.

[1:37:56] Alex, last name

[1:37:57] withheld.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:57] Something you may

[1:37:58] have not noticed

[1:37:59] while watching

[1:37:59] Jurassic World

[1:38:00] is that the

[1:38:00] transverse

[1:38:01] and it's pretty clear

[1:38:01] in a lot of shots

[1:38:02] is wearing enormous

[1:38:03] slippers.

[1:38:04] That's why he can

[1:38:05] sneak around much

[1:38:06] better.

[1:38:06] Yeah.

[1:38:07] You would think

[1:38:08] he'd be wearing

[1:38:08] sneakers like

[1:38:09] Theodore Rex.

[1:38:11] He tied DVD copies

[1:38:13] of the movie

[1:38:14] sneakers to his feet

[1:38:15] and it made

[1:38:16] too much noise.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:18] Okay, so

[1:38:19] I've got a couple here.

[1:38:21] One is real

[1:38:22] like what he's

[1:38:23] talking about

[1:38:23] and one they did

[1:38:24] specifically for effect.

[1:38:28] But in terms of

[1:38:29] accidentally ignoring

[1:38:32] previously established

[1:38:32] rules,

[1:38:34] so there's that

[1:38:36] moment in the

[1:38:37] Avengers

[1:38:37] and it is

[1:38:39] explained with one

[1:38:39] line.

[1:38:42] I will give that

[1:38:43] to the movie

[1:38:44] but in the most

[1:38:44] half-assed way

[1:38:45] possible.

[1:38:46] So Thor ends

[1:38:47] with it being a

[1:38:48] big fucking deal

[1:38:48] that the Bifrost

[1:38:49] is destroyed

[1:38:50] and he can't

[1:38:51] come back to

[1:38:51] Earth ever.

[1:38:54] In the Avengers

[1:38:55] he just kind of

[1:38:56] shows up on Earth.

[1:38:57] Now Loki has

[1:38:58] like a line

[1:38:59] being like it

[1:38:59] must have taken

[1:39:00] all of Odin's

[1:39:00] magic to get you

[1:39:01] here.

[1:39:02] But it's like

[1:39:02] okay well then

[1:39:03] if that's a

[1:39:04] fucking thing

[1:39:05] Odin can do

[1:39:05] then why was it

[1:39:06] a big deal

[1:39:06] before?

[1:39:07] Thor just shows

[1:39:08] up and we're

[1:39:09] just like

[1:39:09] whatever

[1:39:10] Thor's here

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:11] we're not

[1:39:12] going to worry

[1:39:13] about how.

[1:39:14] You seem

[1:39:14] really disappointed

[1:39:15] that Thor

[1:39:15] shows up in

[1:39:16] that movie.

[1:39:16] I think he's

[1:39:17] great.

[1:39:18] Come on.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:19] But I think

[1:39:19] it's just a

[1:39:20] funny thing

[1:39:20] where it's

[1:39:21] like okay

[1:39:22] this was

[1:39:22] like the

[1:39:23] major thrust

[1:39:24] of the sadness

[1:39:25] about the

[1:39:25] last movie

[1:39:26] where he's

[1:39:26] like I'll

[1:39:27] never see

[1:39:27] my beloved

[1:39:28] Jane again

[1:39:29] and now

[1:39:30] it's like

[1:39:30] oh I can

[1:39:30] go anytime.

[1:39:31] I just

[1:39:32] gotta let

[1:39:32] my dad

[1:39:33] rest up a

[1:39:33] little bit

[1:39:34] and then

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:34] send me

[1:39:34] back.

[1:39:35] I think

[1:39:35] that was

[1:39:35] when they

[1:39:36] thought that

[1:39:36] Thor would

[1:39:36] not do

[1:39:37] particularly

[1:39:37] well and

[1:39:38] they're like

[1:39:38] we'll end

[1:39:39] it on a

[1:39:39] tragic note.

[1:39:40] Another one

[1:39:41] we'll send him

[1:39:42] back to his

[1:39:42] home planet.

[1:39:43] It's like at

[1:39:44] the end of the

[1:39:45] first season of

[1:39:45] the TV show

[1:39:46] Sledgehammer

[1:39:46] how they were

[1:39:47] so sure they

[1:39:47] would not get a

[1:39:48] second season

[1:39:48] that they blew

[1:39:49] up the earth

[1:39:49] at the end

[1:39:50] and then they

[1:39:51] use the second

[1:39:51] season so the

[1:39:52] second season

[1:39:52] takes place I

[1:39:53] think a year

[1:39:53] before the first

[1:39:54] season.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:55] That's hilarious.

[1:39:57] The other one I

[1:39:57] want to say is

[1:39:58] like they do it

[1:39:59] intentionally like they're

[1:40:00] making a joke out of it

[1:40:01] but I like the moment.

[1:40:04] Return of the Living

[1:40:05] Dead isn't like a

[1:40:06] direct sequel to

[1:40:08] Night of the Living

[1:40:08] Dead because I

[1:40:10] mean it's like I

[1:40:12] think produced or

[1:40:12] co-written or

[1:40:13] something like there's

[1:40:14] some connection to it

[1:40:15] where like one of the

[1:40:16] guys who work who

[1:40:18] like co-wrote Night of

[1:40:19] the Living Dead has

[1:40:20] access to some of the

[1:40:22] rights which allow him

[1:40:23] to make other zombie

[1:40:25] movies but not

[1:40:25] official Night of the

[1:40:26] Living Dead sequels

[1:40:27] and so Return of the

[1:40:30] Living Dead is kind of a

[1:40:31] quasi sequel in that

[1:40:33] way but the

[1:40:34] they make a point of

[1:40:35] the kid being like

[1:40:36] oh shoot him in the

[1:40:37] head like that's what

[1:40:39] they did in Night of the

[1:40:39] Living Dead and it

[1:40:41] worked and they do it

[1:40:42] and it doesn't work and

[1:40:44] he's like oh the movie

[1:40:45] lied which is a fun

[1:40:47] little moment where you

[1:40:48] realize oh these people

[1:40:50] are fucked because these

[1:40:51] zombies don't really die.

[1:40:56] Now yeah those are

[1:40:57] great.

[1:41:00] that's all paused for a

[1:41:01] long time.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:02] I guess it's my time to

[1:41:03] talk.

[1:41:04] Yeah well so are there

[1:41:07] any yeah I would say an

[1:41:09] example of a sequel

[1:41:10] forgetting the rules I

[1:41:11] would say Attack the

[1:41:12] Clones of course forgets

[1:41:13] Metachlorians which is

[1:41:14] terrible.

[1:41:15] As soon as he takes

[1:41:16] science out of Star Wars

[1:41:17] it becomes less fun.

[1:41:20] And then Halloween 3

[1:41:21] they forget the rule that

[1:41:22] it has to have Michael

[1:41:24] Myers but I think it

[1:41:25] works out for the better

[1:41:26] because I like it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:27] I think the it's not

[1:41:28] necessarily like ignoring

[1:41:30] the rules in previous

[1:41:31] installments but like the

[1:41:32] way that the Star Wars

[1:41:33] prequels kind of like

[1:41:35] they take some things

[1:41:36] from the like the the

[1:41:37] idea of I just I was

[1:41:39] thinking about this the

[1:41:39] other day that the idea

[1:41:40] of Yoda as a

[1:41:40] distinguished figure who

[1:41:42] like is every who is

[1:41:44] the head of an

[1:41:44] organization I found so

[1:41:46] so like baffling

[1:41:47] compared to the Yoda we

[1:41:48] see who is like this

[1:41:49] hilarious like trickster

[1:41:50] hermit monk.

[1:41:52] Yeah.

[1:41:53] Just seems like a waste

[1:41:54] you know.

[1:41:55] Yeah.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:41:56] I don't have any that

[1:41:57] are like really a rule

[1:41:58] being ignored but I do

[1:42:00] want to take this

[1:42:01] opportunity to talk

[1:42:02] about my frustration

[1:42:03] that the princess

[1:42:04] diaries too.

[1:42:06] They really go ahead

[1:42:08] and just ignore the

[1:42:09] relationship that the

[1:42:10] entire first movie spent

[1:42:11] establishing with

[1:42:13] with

[1:42:13] Michael

[1:42:15] and as there

[1:42:17] no because

[1:42:18] there's another

[1:42:19] Anne Hathaway goof

[1:42:20] I guess

[1:42:21] but so the entire

[1:42:23] first movie it's like

[1:42:24] is she going to get

[1:42:25] together with Michael

[1:42:25] and we're all really

[1:42:26] rooting for it and

[1:42:27] everything and the

[1:42:28] second movie she's on a

[1:42:29] plane and she's like

[1:42:29] we're friends and

[1:42:30] immediately like goes in

[1:42:32] Chris Pine's love

[1:42:33] interest and it's just

[1:42:34] always bothered me.

[1:42:35] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:36] In between the movies she

[1:42:37] friend zoned him.

[1:42:38] Yeah.

[1:42:40] So.

[1:42:41] It just undercuts the

Dan McCoy

[1:42:41] struggle of the first

[1:42:42] movie.

[1:42:43] Yeah.

[1:42:43] It's like what was the

[1:42:44] point?

[1:42:45] And I think I think in

[1:42:46] the in the last.

[1:42:47] It's like watching the

[1:42:48] princess diaries had no

[1:42:49] point.

[1:42:50] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:50] In the last 50 shades

[1:42:52] of grade movie they

[1:42:52] forget the rule from the

[1:42:53] first movie that there

[1:42:54] are no real estate agents

[1:42:56] in Aspen named Gia

[1:42:57] Mateo with famously

[1:42:58] great boobs.

[1:43:00] And then they introduce

[1:43:01] this character Gia

[1:43:02] Mateo and Aspen real

[1:43:03] estate agent everyone's

[1:43:04] talking about her boobs

[1:43:05] all the time.

[1:43:05] It's like movies what

[1:43:06] are you doing?

Dan McCoy

[1:43:09] So this next letter is

[1:43:11] from Michael Lastname

[1:43:12] withheld who writes

[1:43:12] Dear Flophousers I was

[1:43:14] recently watching through

[1:43:15] the Scooby movies.

[1:43:17] No not the new Scooby

[1:43:18] Doo movies.

[1:43:18] The unwisely named TV

[1:43:20] series from the 70s nor

[1:43:21] the two live action

[1:43:22] movies that premiered in

[1:43:23] theaters.

[1:43:24] I didn't care for those

[1:43:25] but the at least 40

[1:43:27] direct to video Scooby

[1:43:28] movies.

[1:43:29] Some are surprisingly

[1:43:30] really good.

[1:43:32] We might need to fact

[1:43:33] check this letter.

[1:43:35] Do any of you have

[1:43:37] direct to video movies

[1:43:39] you're really fond of

[1:43:39] despite their smaller

[1:43:41] scale and more

[1:43:42] commercial nature?

[1:43:43] Sincerely Michael

[1:43:43] Lastname withheld.

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:44] Yeah I mean this is

[1:43:45] I'll field this one.

[1:43:47] I actually.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:48] I feel like this is

[1:43:48] the thing is

[1:43:49] I actually only like

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:51] movies that come out

[1:43:52] in movie theaters.

[1:43:54] If you check back at

[1:43:56] all of my recommendations

[1:43:57] I've never recommended

[1:43:58] a movie that hasn't

[1:43:59] been on the silver

[1:44:00] screen at some point.

[1:44:01] So Michael I think

[1:44:03] you're barking up the

[1:44:03] wrong tree or wrong

[1:44:05] Matthew McConaughey in

[1:44:05] this case.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:07] I think that Stuart

[1:44:08] mispronounced Ninja

[1:44:10] Shadow of a Tear.

[1:44:11] And he gave that

[1:44:12] response.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:14] Oh yeah I guess

[1:44:15] I guess there's one

[1:44:17] instance of me recommending

[1:44:18] something that wasn't

[1:44:19] in theaters.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:19] How many Universal

[1:44:20] Soldier direct to video

[1:44:21] sequels did you

[1:44:22] recommend?

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:23] Oh I guess those

[1:44:24] count too huh?

Dan McCoy

[1:44:27] I want to say

[1:44:28] two of my favorites

[1:44:30] I don't know if they

[1:44:31] like

[1:44:31] like it's

[1:44:32] it's a weird area.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:34] I mean 100%

[1:44:35] you're going to

[1:44:36] recommend the

[1:44:36] boyfriend school right?

[1:44:37] No no no I like

[1:44:38] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:39] That was a major

[1:44:40] motion picture that

[1:44:40] was in theaters.

[1:44:41] Yeah I don't know if

[1:44:42] the two ones I have

[1:44:43] technically count so

[1:44:45] I'll give another

[1:44:45] answer afterwards but

[1:44:46] like the my two

[1:44:47] favorite ones that

[1:44:48] come to mind were

[1:44:49] movies that either

[1:44:52] were intended for

[1:44:54] theatrical release

[1:44:55] originally or were

[1:44:56] released in another

[1:44:56] country but here we're

[1:44:58] only direct to video.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:59] Wait is it is one of

[1:45:00] them about an off-road

[1:45:01] adventure that involves

[1:45:02] a bikini and is it

[1:45:03] great?

[1:45:04] No.

Dan McCoy

[1:45:05] One of them is

[1:45:06] Is it an Emmanuel

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:07] sequel?

[1:45:09] One of them is

Dan McCoy

[1:45:10] Trick or Treat

[1:45:14] the Michael Doherty

[1:45:15] anthology horror

[1:45:17] series set at

[1:45:18] Halloween.

[1:45:20] That never got

[1:45:21] released theatrically

[1:45:22] but I enjoyed it a

[1:45:23] lot and The Wrong

[1:45:24] Guy the Dave Foley

[1:45:26] movie that I think

[1:45:27] was released in

[1:45:27] Canada but not

[1:45:28] here ever.

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:29] How weird that it

[1:45:30] would get released

[1:45:31] in Canada.

Dan McCoy

[1:45:32] But if those are

[1:45:33] not if those don't

[1:45:34] actually technically

[1:45:35] count to you I will

[1:45:36] say that speaking of

[1:45:37] wild things I very

[1:45:40] much enjoy the

[1:45:41] direct to video

[1:45:42] wild things and

[1:45:44] cruel intentions

[1:45:45] sequels because

[1:45:46] those direct to

[1:45:47] video versions

[1:45:48] posit the question

[1:45:49] what if those

[1:45:50] movies but trashier?

[1:45:53] So they're fun.

[1:45:55] It really frees

[1:45:55] them up when they

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:56] don't have big name

[1:45:57] stars in them.

[1:45:58] Yeah.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:45:59] I feel like when I

[1:46:00] was growing up they

[1:46:01] just like were doing

[1:46:02] a ton of Disney

[1:46:03] sequels.

[1:46:04] Oh yeah.

[1:46:04] And I have a lot

[1:46:05] of affection for

[1:46:06] them because some

[1:46:06] of them I was more

[1:46:07] the right age for

[1:46:08] than the original.

[1:46:09] Like I think I've

[1:46:11] probably watched the

[1:46:12] Aladdin sequels more

[1:46:13] times than I've

[1:46:13] watched original

[1:46:14] Aladdin.

[1:46:14] Return of Jafar and

[1:46:16] Aladdin and the

[1:46:17] 40 Thieves which is

[1:46:19] the third one.

[1:46:19] I've watched that

[1:46:20] one maybe the most

[1:46:21] of all of them

[1:46:22] actually.

[1:46:22] And the extremely

[1:46:23] goofy movie which I

[1:46:25] think is again I

[1:46:27] don't know I have

[1:46:28] affection for it and

[1:46:29] that was like the

[1:46:29] question is like if

[1:46:30] you're fond of it

[1:46:31] not whether I

[1:46:32] necessarily think

[1:46:33] they're good.

[1:46:33] And then my other

[1:46:34] answer is Cannibal

[1:46:35] the Musical.

[1:46:36] Trey Parker's movie

[1:46:38] from college.

[1:46:39] I don't think it

[1:46:40] ever came out in

[1:46:40] theaters.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:42] Yeah.

[1:46:43] Elliot did you have

[1:46:44] one?

[1:46:44] I forgot whether you

[1:46:45] talked.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:45] No I don't it's I

[1:46:48] don't have any in

[1:46:48] particular I have to

[1:46:49] admit.

[1:46:50] Okay.

[1:46:50] I feel like I was

[1:46:51] more of a TV movie

[1:46:53] watcher for most of

[1:46:55] my life than a

[1:46:56] release.

[1:46:57] because when I

[1:46:58] was young I

[1:46:58] didn't watch a lot

[1:46:59] of horror movies

[1:47:00] because they were

[1:47:01] too scary.

[1:47:02] And then so I

[1:47:04] missed out on a lot

[1:47:04] of the movies.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:47:05] Noir Kid was back

[1:47:06] for a second.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:06] Yeah I'm more of a

[1:47:07] noir guy.

[1:47:08] I like the suggestion

[1:47:09] of violence and

[1:47:10] occasionally something

[1:47:11] kind of like a

[1:47:12] lady being pushed

[1:47:13] down a staircase like

[1:47:14] in Kiss of Death.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:16] Sudden feel.

[1:47:18] Anybody want to

[1:47:19] watch Hitchhiker?

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:21] You want to maybe

[1:47:22] Night in the City

[1:47:23] with Witch and

[1:47:23] Widmark?

Dan McCoy

[1:47:27] Let's see.

[1:47:28] Oh okay.

[1:47:29] The thing that's

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:30] great about Noir Kid

[1:47:30] is they're

[1:47:31] immediately relatable.

[1:47:32] Everybody knows

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:33] one of those.

[1:47:34] I went to the kids

[1:47:35] on the flag

[1:47:35] and I said want to

[1:47:36] watch Sawi Wong

[1:47:37] Number with Bob

[1:47:38] Westamwick?

[1:47:42] Is that a noir?

[1:47:43] Of course it is.

[1:47:44] Sorry wrong number?

[1:47:45] Yeah.

[1:47:46] It's a suspense

[1:47:46] thriller.

[1:47:46] I'd call it a noir.

[1:47:47] It's more of a

Dan McCoy

[1:47:47] thriller.

[1:47:48] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:49] Maybe it's more

[1:47:49] of a suspense

[1:47:50] thriller.

[1:47:50] You guys shouldn't

[1:47:52] split hails.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:55] Film Noir is

[1:47:56] an open genre.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:58] Okay.

[1:47:59] Maybe instead of

[1:48:00] that I should have

[1:48:00] mentioned Cornell

[1:48:01] Woolwich is the

[1:48:02] big combo.

Dan McCoy

[1:48:04] So Jenny you

[1:48:06] got any of these

[1:48:06] you want to chime

[1:48:07] in with?

Jenny Jaffe

[1:48:10] Noir films

[1:48:11] and a child's

[1:48:12] accent.

[1:48:14] I think they've

[1:48:15] all been covered.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:17] Okay.

[1:48:17] The question is

[1:48:18] is a movie like

[1:48:18] Amortize Falcon

[1:48:19] really noir?

[1:48:21] See that's the thing

Jenny Jaffe

[1:48:21] I was worried

[1:48:22] anything that I

[1:48:23] brought up I

[1:48:24] was going to

[1:48:24] like oh this

[1:48:24] is going to

[1:48:25] get picked

[1:48:25] apart and I'm

[1:48:25] not confident

[1:48:26] enough in my

[1:48:27] noir taste.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:28] Noir kid is an

[1:48:29] asshole.

[1:48:29] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:48:30] Yeah.

[1:48:30] Pick apart your

[1:48:31] choices.

[1:48:32] That may have

[1:48:32] seemed like I

[1:48:33] was making fun of

[1:48:34] Jenny for not

[1:48:35] knowing film noir

[1:48:35] films.

[1:48:36] I was really

[1:48:36] trying to make

[1:48:37] fun of us

[1:48:38] for knowing too

[1:48:39] many.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:39] I never forget

[1:48:40] when a kid he

[1:48:41] wanted to watch

[1:48:42] Wed Walk West

[1:48:43] and I'm like I

[1:48:43] guess that's a

[1:48:44] neo noir but I

[1:48:46] like film noir.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:48:47] I was about to

[1:48:48] say I saw a

[1:48:49] kiss before

[1:48:49] dying at the

[1:48:51] noir festival

[1:48:52] recently and I

[1:48:53] just don't know

[1:48:53] if that counts

[1:48:54] because again

[1:48:55] it's more of a

[1:48:55] throwback.

Stuart Wellington

[1:48:57] There you go.

[1:48:58] And guys do you

[1:48:59] want to you guys

[1:49:00] want to clarify

[1:49:00] that we're making

[1:49:01] fun of the way

[1:49:02] a baby would

[1:49:02] talk and not

[1:49:03] making fun of

[1:49:03] people with

[1:49:04] actual speech

[1:49:04] impediments

[1:49:05] right?

[1:49:05] We're making fun

Dan McCoy

[1:49:06] of Elliot's

[1:49:07] impression of a

[1:49:08] baby.

[1:49:08] This is the

Stuart Wellington

[1:49:10] disclaimers.

[1:49:12] This is the

[1:49:13] disclaimers part

[1:49:14] of the podcast.

[1:49:14] Just clarify.

Elliott Kalan

[1:49:16] No.

[1:49:16] If an adult

[1:49:17] talking like that

[1:49:18] is nothing to

[1:49:19] laugh about

[1:49:19] everyone has

[1:49:20] their challenges

[1:49:21] in communicating

[1:49:22] and we all

[1:49:22] have the things

[1:49:23] about the way

[1:49:23] we speak

[1:49:24] that are

[1:49:24] distinctive to

[1:49:24] us but a

[1:49:25] baby talking

[1:49:26] like that

[1:49:26] is how

[1:49:26] wow is.

Dan McCoy

[1:49:29] This last

[1:49:29] letter is from

[1:49:30] Bill Lastname

[1:49:30] Withheld.

Elliott Kalan

[1:49:31] The joke is

[1:49:31] that a baby

[1:49:32] likes film noir

[1:49:32] movies.

[1:49:33] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:49:34] Okay.

[1:49:34] Bill Lastname

[1:49:35] Withheld says

[1:49:36] hey y'all I

[1:49:37] took an intro

[1:49:38] to film class

[1:49:39] in my college

[1:49:39] years and I

[1:49:40] really enjoyed

[1:49:40] it and got

[1:49:41] exposed to

[1:49:41] movies I

[1:49:42] probably would

[1:49:42] have never

[1:49:43] seen on my

[1:49:43] own like

[1:49:44] His Girl Friday

[1:49:45] Do the Right

[1:49:45] Thing and Crimes

[1:49:46] and Misdemeanors.

[1:49:47] The morning

[1:49:48] following each

[1:49:49] screening we

[1:49:50] had a quiz

[1:49:50] and after

[1:49:51] watching Roger

[1:49:52] and me one

[1:49:53] of the questions

[1:49:54] was why was

[1:49:55] this movie not

[1:49:56] played in Flint

[1:49:56] Michigan with

[1:49:57] the correct

[1:49:58] answer being

[1:49:58] because the

[1:49:59] movie's theaters

[1:50:00] had closed

[1:50:00] down as

[1:50:01] revealed in

[1:50:02] the credits.

[1:50:03] Everyone got

[1:50:04] this question

[1:50:04] wrong because

[1:50:05] no one stuck

[1:50:06] around for

[1:50:08] Our instructor

[1:50:08] told us that

[1:50:09] he had asked

[1:50:09] the question

[1:50:09] because we

[1:50:10] all left

[1:50:10] during the

[1:50:11] credits which

[1:50:12] are part of

[1:50:12] the movie and

[1:50:12] thus we should

[1:50:13] have stayed.

[1:50:15] Yeah we

[1:50:17] get to that

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:18] at the end

[1:50:19] of the movie.

[1:50:19] Was that

[1:50:19] instructor

[1:50:19] Kevin Feige?

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:22] There might have

[1:50:23] been something

[1:50:23] for the next

[1:50:24] movie in the

[1:50:25] Michael Moore

[1:50:26] universe.

Dan McCoy

[1:50:27] Apart from

[1:50:27] giving credit

[1:50:28] to the cast

[1:50:29] and crew

[1:50:29] I've never

[1:50:30] thought the

[1:50:30] credits hold

[1:50:31] any real

[1:50:32] significance in

[1:50:32] terms of

[1:50:33] plot or

[1:50:33] storytelling.

[1:50:35] Was I

[1:50:35] wrong in my

[1:50:36] assumption?

[1:50:36] Are there

[1:50:37] films where

[1:50:37] the credits

[1:50:38] actually add

[1:50:38] to the movie?

[1:50:39] Or was this

[1:50:40] just a typical

[1:50:41] power trip

[1:50:42] young college

[1:50:43] instructor move

[1:50:43] to assert

[1:50:44] dominance over

[1:50:45] a bunch of

[1:50:46] undergrads?

[1:50:46] Yes.

[1:50:46] The last name

[1:50:47] withheld.

[1:50:48] It was that.

[1:50:52] I do think

[1:50:53] that sometimes

[1:50:54] credits have

[1:50:55] some sort of

[1:50:56] extra value.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:57] They can have

[1:50:58] value.

[1:50:58] They can have

[1:50:58] like jokes.

[1:50:59] I mean I guess

[1:50:59] the closest I can

[1:51:00] think of is

[1:51:01] in the Pixar

[1:51:01] movies sometimes

[1:51:02] they'll have

[1:51:03] pictures next to

[1:51:04] that like

[1:51:04] continue the

[1:51:05] story a little

[1:51:06] bit.

[1:51:06] Or blooper

[1:51:06] reels.

[1:51:06] Or the fake

[1:51:07] bloopers.

[1:51:08] Fake bloopers.

[1:51:08] But like in

[1:51:09] Up there's a

[1:51:09] bunch of like

[1:51:10] fake photos that

[1:51:11] are on the

[1:51:12] side of the

[1:51:12] screen during

[1:51:13] that like

[1:51:14] show Carl

[1:51:16] and what's

[1:51:17] the boy's

[1:51:17] name?

[1:51:18] Russell.

[1:51:18] And Russell's

[1:51:19] kind of relationship

[1:51:20] continuing after

[1:51:20] this adventure

[1:51:21] and some of the

[1:51:22] fun they're

[1:51:22] having.

[1:51:23] But like

[1:51:23] it's not really

[1:51:25] It's like

[1:51:25] going on

[1:51:26] during the

[1:51:26] credits.

Dan McCoy

[1:51:27] Yeah.

[1:51:27] I was going

[1:51:28] to say I

[1:51:29] don't know

[1:51:29] whether this

[1:51:31] is just like

[1:51:32] the words of

[1:51:33] themselves or

[1:51:34] whether you

[1:51:35] can talk about

[1:51:35] things that

[1:51:36] happened during

[1:51:37] But I've got

[1:51:38] a quick answer

[1:51:38] for each one.

Elliott Kalan

[1:51:40] Okay.

[1:51:40] And then I've

[1:51:41] got a quick

[1:51:42] answer for one

[1:51:42] of them.

Dan McCoy

[1:51:43] But you go

[1:51:43] for it.

[1:51:43] There's like

[1:51:45] Zucker Abrams

[1:51:46] Zucker things

[1:51:46] where there's

[1:51:47] jokes in the

[1:51:48] credits.

[1:51:48] So you've got

[1:51:49] that kind of

[1:51:49] thing.

[1:51:50] And there's

[1:51:50] like something

[1:51:51] like Seven

[1:51:52] where simply

[1:51:53] reversing the

[1:51:53] direction.

[1:51:54] Super twisted.

[1:51:55] I think that

[1:51:57] something as

[1:51:57] simple as

[1:51:57] reversing the

[1:51:58] direction that

[1:51:59] credits normally

[1:51:59] scroll is very

[1:52:01] unsettling at the

[1:52:02] end of an

[1:52:03] unsettling movie.

[1:52:03] So there's

[1:52:04] those things.

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:06] I mean you

[1:52:06] have like

[1:52:06] Gremlins 2

[1:52:07] where Daffy

[1:52:07] Duck keeps

[1:52:08] coming out and

[1:52:08] talking to the

[1:52:09] audience during the

[1:52:09] credits.

[1:52:10] But it's so

[1:52:11] unrelated to the

[1:52:11] rest of the

[1:52:12] film.

Dan McCoy

[1:52:13] But the other

[1:52:14] way sorry the

[1:52:15] other thing like

[1:52:15] in terms of like

[1:52:16] actually continuing

[1:52:17] the story I know

[1:52:19] that it's weird that

[1:52:19] we've talked about

[1:52:20] Wild Things so

[1:52:21] much.

[1:52:21] But I like the

[1:52:22] ending credits of

[1:52:23] Wild Things where

[1:52:23] they literally just

[1:52:24] intersperse.

[1:52:25] I'm surprised you

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:27] made it through to the

[1:52:27] end of the credits.

[1:52:28] I would have

[1:52:28] thought you would

[1:52:29] have finished

[1:52:29] watching the movie

[1:52:30] during one particular

[1:52:32] scene and then

[1:52:33] maybe rewound it

[1:52:33] and watch it again

[1:52:34] and then return the

[1:52:35] video unrewound to

[1:52:36] the beginning to the

[1:52:36] rental store.

Dan McCoy

[1:52:37] You know it could be

[1:52:38] but the end of the

[1:52:39] movie like they're

[1:52:41] interspersed with

[1:52:42] quick scenes that

[1:52:44] show you stuff you

[1:52:45] weren't like the

[1:52:47] camera was not

[1:52:49] there for the first

[1:52:50] time around filling

[1:52:51] in holes and kind of

[1:52:52] explaining the

[1:52:54] entire plot which

[1:52:55] is kind of fun like

[1:52:56] to handle it that

[1:52:57] way with just these

[1:52:58] like quick cuts

[1:52:58] during the credits

[1:53:00] of like and if you

[1:53:01] want it spelled out

[1:53:02] for you even more

[1:53:02] here you go.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:53:05] The one thing this

[1:53:07] is like not really

[1:53:08] I don't know if

[1:53:09] this is adding

[1:53:09] anything it added to

[1:53:10] my enjoyment of the

[1:53:11] movie though but in

[1:53:12] Fateful Findings at

[1:53:14] the end of the

[1:53:14] credits the very last

[1:53:16] thing Neil Breen

[1:53:17] specifies is that any

[1:53:19] credit listed where

[1:53:20] the person's name it

[1:53:22] had it starts with

[1:53:22] an NB like were

[1:53:24] those the initials

[1:53:24] that was Neil Breen

[1:53:25] which means he goes

[1:53:26] through the entire

[1:53:27] credits listing like

[1:53:28] other people doing

[1:53:28] catering and hair and

[1:53:30] whatever and at the

[1:53:30] very end of the

[1:53:31] credits he's like also

[1:53:32] those were me.

Stuart Wellington

[1:53:33] That's the ultimate

[1:53:34] twist yeah.

[1:53:35] Yeah it enhances my

[1:53:36] enjoyment of the movie

[1:53:37] certainly.

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:38] He's the M.

[1:53:38] Shyamalan of credits.

[1:53:39] Yeah.

[1:53:40] There's like at the

[1:53:41] end of the movie

[1:53:41] Skidoo Harry Nielsen

[1:53:43] sings all the credits

[1:53:45] as they come up on

[1:53:46] screen but like I

[1:53:47] don't know if that

[1:53:47] really counts the same

[1:53:48] way like it's the

[1:53:49] most fun thing in the

[1:53:50] movie Skidoo but.

Stuart Wellington

[1:53:51] I well the end

[1:53:53] credits in Return of

[1:53:54] the King enhances my

[1:53:56] enjoyment by making me

[1:53:57] cry when I see all

[1:53:58] those characters and

[1:53:59] I'm not I love the

[1:54:01] I'm sure I mentioned

[1:54:02] this before on the

[1:54:03] show but I love the

[1:54:04] end credits sequence

[1:54:05] of Michael Clayton

[1:54:08] where the camera just

[1:54:08] stays on George Clooney's

[1:54:09] face.

[1:54:10] That is great.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:54:12] The point is this guy's

[1:54:13] professor is a jerk.

Elliott Kalan

[1:54:15] Yeah he's a jerk and

[1:54:16] unless you're going to

[1:54:17] sit through all of the

[1:54:18] Avengers credits to

[1:54:19] watch each of the

[1:54:19] actors sign their names

[1:54:21] on the credits then

[1:54:22] don't worry about it.

[1:54:23] Wait what?

Dan McCoy

[1:54:24] Did you not sit through

[1:54:25] the credits of Avengers

Elliott Kalan

[1:54:26] Endgame?

[1:54:26] I didn't see Endgame.

[1:54:26] I spoiled it for

Jenny Jaffe

[1:54:28] myself I didn't care.

Elliott Kalan

[1:54:29] At the end during the

[1:54:29] and this wasn't

[1:54:30] spoilt but in the

[1:54:31] middle of the credits

[1:54:31] they go through the

[1:54:32] whole cast the

[1:54:33] secondary cast then

[1:54:35] for each of the

[1:54:36] members of the

[1:54:36] original Avengers team

[1:54:37] they get like a

[1:54:38] glamour shot like in

[1:54:40] a like in a cologne

[1:54:41] ad and they and

[1:54:42] their signature

[1:54:43] animates on on

[1:54:45] screen so like and

[1:54:46] ending with Robert

[1:54:47] Denny Jr.

[1:54:48] So it's like Jeremy

[1:54:48] Renner's so the first

[1:54:49] thing you see is

[1:54:50] Jeremy Renner and

[1:54:51] then his signature

[1:54:51] writing on screen and

[1:54:52] you're like what is

Stuart Wellington

[1:54:53] going on here?

[1:54:54] So weird.

[1:54:55] It's really funny.

[1:54:57] Okay well yeah it's

[1:54:58] like a less classy

[1:54:59] version of the end

[1:55:00] of Return of the

[1:55:00] King.

[1:55:01] Check out guys

Dan McCoy

[1:55:03] check out this cool

[1:55:04] segue.

[1:55:05] So that's the end

[1:55:06] of that segment.

[1:55:07] On to our last

[1:55:08] segment.

[1:55:09] Okay.

[1:55:09] Which is called

[1:55:10] Recommendations.

[1:55:10] You're a radio

Elliott Kalan

[1:55:11] professional you should

[1:55:12] be on Plymouth

[1:55:12] Highlands radio.

Dan McCoy

[1:55:14] These are movies

[1:55:15] that I mean look I'm

[1:55:16] not going to say

[1:55:16] watch them instead

[1:55:17] of Serenity like

[1:55:18] why choose as the

[1:55:19] internet says why

[1:55:20] not both but other

[1:55:23] recommendations.

[1:55:24] Stuart you look like

[1:55:25] you're champing at

[1:55:27] the bit.

Stuart Wellington

[1:55:28] Well I'm looking I'm

[1:55:29] looking at you because

[1:55:29] this recommendation is

[1:55:30] also a little bit of a

[1:55:31] little bit of a class

[1:55:32] for Dan.

[1:55:35] I'm recommending a

[1:55:36] movie that does

[1:55:37] feature the actor

[1:55:39] Jackie Chan in it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:55:42] How is Dan going to

[1:55:43] know for sure?

[1:55:43] How can you remember

[1:55:44] that?

Stuart Wellington

[1:55:45] Yeah well that's what

[1:55:46] I'm here for.

[1:55:47] I just recently got my

[1:55:49] Criterion Collection

[1:55:50] Blu-ray of Police

[1:55:52] Story and Police

[1:55:52] Story 2 and I

[1:55:55] hadn't seen them in a

[1:55:56] long time and they're

[1:55:57] great.

[1:55:58] They're some of

[1:55:59] Jackie Chan's best

[1:55:59] movies.

[1:56:00] I don't know if

[1:56:02] Police Story edges

[1:56:03] out Drunken Master

[1:56:04] 2 for me but it's

[1:56:06] close and I

[1:56:08] I watched

[1:56:09] I watched

[1:56:10] Endgame the same

[1:56:11] day that I rewatched

[1:56:12] my Police Story

[1:56:13] Blu-ray and

[1:56:14] none of the special

[1:56:15] effects in Avengers

[1:56:17] made me like

[1:56:19] as shocked as

[1:56:21] the stuff that

[1:56:22] Jackie Chan does

[1:56:22] to these poor guys

[1:56:23] who dare attack him

[1:56:24] around a set of

[1:56:26] cars.

[1:56:27] So or in a

[1:56:28] shopping mall.

[1:56:29] I mean he's amazing.

[1:56:30] What a treasure.

Dan McCoy

[1:56:31] Yeah I have a

[1:56:32] recommendation of a

[1:56:33] movie I saw just

[1:56:34] last night.

[1:56:36] Called Serenity.

[1:56:37] Well I try not

[1:56:38] I like if I can I

[1:56:39] try not to recommend

[1:56:40] major movies in

[1:56:41] theaters because

[1:56:42] why do they need my

[1:56:43] support.

[1:56:45] But I've been away

[1:56:46] for a week and I

[1:56:47] haven't seen a lot

[1:56:47] so and this was a

[1:56:48] movie I genuinely

[1:56:49] liked.

[1:56:50] So keeping with the

[1:56:51] theme of awesome

[1:56:52] fights I saw John

[1:56:53] Wick 3 and oh

[1:56:55] doctor if you like

[1:56:56] those John Wicks

[1:56:57] this is one of the

[1:56:58] John Wickiest.

Stuart Wellington

[1:57:01] So what you're

[1:57:01] telling a doctor to

[1:57:02] prescribe more John

[1:57:04] Wick to people.

[1:57:05] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:57:05] I gotta have it

[1:57:06] doc.

Elliott Kalan

[1:57:08] But um.

[1:57:09] Years from now we're

[1:57:10] gonna find out that

[1:57:10] John Wick was actually

[1:57:11] contributing to an

[1:57:12] epidemic of suicides in

[1:57:14] the Midwest and Dan is

[1:57:15] gonna be sued I guess

[1:57:16] for the damages for

[1:57:17] forcing doctors to

[1:57:18] recommend John Wick to

[1:57:19] their patients when they

[1:57:20] didn't need it.

[1:57:22] Look if you see John

Dan McCoy

[1:57:23] Wick it's worth it guys.

[1:57:25] But um.

Jenny Jaffe

[1:57:26] But doctor I am John

[1:57:27] Wick.

Dan McCoy

[1:57:30] And then you go

[1:57:30] whoa.

[1:57:32] Um.

[1:57:33] No I.

[1:57:34] Well I just want to

[1:57:35] say quick that I

[1:57:36] liked it especially

[1:57:37] because I feel like the

[1:57:38] first John Wick is

[1:57:40] such a simple concept

[1:57:42] that you can

[1:57:42] understand.

[1:57:43] It's like the

[1:57:43] classic you fucked

[1:57:44] with the wrong guy

[1:57:45] movie and it's

[1:57:47] pretty stripped down

[1:57:48] like what's notable

[1:57:49] about it is it's got

[1:57:50] great fight scenes.

[1:57:51] Uh huh.

[1:57:52] Uh.

[1:57:52] The second movie

[1:57:53] becomes like like

[1:57:54] much more weirdly like

[1:57:56] we're gonna jump into

[1:57:56] a fantasy land.

[1:57:58] Uh huh.

[1:57:58] where there's a

[1:57:59] whole like

[1:57:59] Assassin's Creed if

[1:58:01] you will.

[1:58:02] Uh huh.

[1:58:02] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:58:03] Like some uh

[1:58:04] switchboard manned

[1:58:05] only by suicide

[1:58:06] girls in 50s

[1:58:07] pinup girl clothing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:08] It's a hotel for

Dan McCoy

[1:58:09] dogs if you will

[1:58:10] except instead of

[1:58:11] dogs it's

[1:58:11] assassins.

[1:58:12] Yeah there's a

[1:58:12] rich mythology of

[1:58:13] assassins all of a

[1:58:14] sudden in John Wick

[1:58:15] too.

[1:58:15] And I I like that

[1:58:18] okay but it felt

[1:58:19] like it come down

[1:58:19] from the the the

[1:58:22] economy of the

[1:58:23] first movie but

[1:58:23] the third movie

[1:58:24] makes that all

[1:58:25] worthwhile by

[1:58:26] pushing it so far

[1:58:27] into silliness that

[1:58:29] like the movie is

[1:58:30] basically a comedy at

[1:58:31] this point a comedy

[1:58:32] about like this

[1:58:32] assassin world where

[1:58:34] like all five

[1:58:35] million assassins on

[1:58:36] the earth are going

[1:58:37] after John Wick and

[1:58:39] it's just like just a

[1:58:42] crazy concept like

[1:58:42] early in the movie a

[1:58:44] guy you don't have to

[1:58:45] explain.

[1:58:46] John Wick's crazy in

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:48] the real world there

[1:58:49] is not a secret

[1:58:50] million strong economy

[1:58:51] of assassins but

[1:58:52] John Wick world.

Dan McCoy

[1:58:54] But also like non

[1:58:55] assassins like early

[1:58:56] in the movie John

[1:58:58] Wick is taking a taxi

[1:58:59] somewhere.

[1:59:00] Spoilers.

[1:59:01] And he has to I'll

[1:59:03] keep it as vague as

[1:59:03] possible and he has

[1:59:04] to get out and

[1:59:06] like have it.

[1:59:07] You're done with

[1:59:08] your tax.

[1:59:08] No no he has to

[1:59:09] get out.

[1:59:10] Stay and live there.

[1:59:10] No Ellie he has to

[1:59:12] get like he's trying

[1:59:13] to get somewhere he

[1:59:13] can't get there because

[1:59:14] of traffic so he has

[1:59:15] to get out but he

[1:59:16] has the taxi driver

[1:59:17] transport something for

[1:59:19] him and the driver's

[1:59:21] like.

[1:59:21] Sure Mr. Wick.

[1:59:23] And it's like OK we

[1:59:24] live in a world where

[1:59:25] not only do other

[1:59:25] assassins know John

[1:59:26] Wick but like normal

[1:59:28] taxi drivers do too

[1:59:30] apparently.

[1:59:32] He's a famous

[1:59:32] assassin.

[1:59:33] They advertise on TV

[1:59:34] in the John Wick

[1:59:34] world.

[1:59:35] It's super funny and I

[1:59:36] also I think Keanu

[1:59:37] Reeves is really good

[1:59:38] in this world because

[1:59:39] even though he's like

[1:59:40] this insanely

[1:59:42] unstoppable

[1:59:42] unrealistic character

[1:59:45] on the one hand he

[1:59:47] also like when he's

[1:59:48] in a fight he has

[1:59:50] the same talent that

[1:59:51] Harrison Ford has where

[1:59:52] it's like you can see

[1:59:53] him looking exhausted

[1:59:54] you can see him like

[1:59:55] not wanting to fight

[1:59:56] anymore you can see him

[1:59:58] like take actual damage

[1:59:59] during the movie and be

[2:00:01] exasperated by everything

[2:00:02] that's happening.

[2:00:02] Like Jackie Chan.

[2:00:04] And it's good.

[2:00:04] No I mean like it's

[2:00:05] great like whenever you

[2:00:06] can humanize like your

[2:00:07] unstoppable fighting

[2:00:09] force like that it's a

[2:00:10] lot more fun.

[2:00:11] Yeah.

[2:00:12] That's my recommendation.

[2:00:14] So Jenny do you have a

[2:00:15] recommendation?

Jenny Jaffe

[2:00:16] Yeah I mean it's another

[2:00:17] like movie that's in

[2:00:18] theaters it's the last

[2:00:19] one I saw.

[2:00:20] I really liked Long

[2:00:21] Shot.

[2:00:21] I thought it was really

[2:00:22] fun.

[2:00:24] That's great.

Stuart Wellington

[2:00:26] Another another another

[2:00:27] thanks for avoiding

[2:00:28] spoilers for us.

[2:00:30] Yeah no spoilers.

[2:00:31] Yeah.

Jenny Jaffe

[2:00:32] Oh right.

[2:00:32] Sorry we got to stay

[2:00:33] through the credits for

[2:00:34] that one for sure.

[2:00:35] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[2:00:37] OK.

[2:00:38] Is that all you have to

[2:00:38] say about Long Shot?

[2:00:39] Yeah.

[2:00:40] OK.

[2:00:40] Well it's a good movie

[2:00:41] it's fun.

[2:00:42] I'm going to recommend a

[2:00:42] movie that's not in

[2:00:43] theaters unless you're in

[2:00:45] Germany in 1974 and

[2:00:47] that's a movie called

[2:00:48] Alice in the Cities and

[2:00:49] it's a Wim Wenders

[2:00:50] movie about a German

[2:00:53] writer.

[2:00:54] He's a journalist but he

[2:00:55] has lost kind of his

[2:00:56] will to live in a way

[2:00:57] while he's been

[2:00:58] traveling through

[2:00:58] America and he gets

[2:01:00] to New York and a

[2:01:02] friend of his who's a

[2:01:02] single mother basically

[2:01:03] says hey can you take

[2:01:04] my daughter to the

[2:01:05] Empire State Building

[2:01:06] and I'll meet up with

[2:01:06] you later in the day

[2:01:07] he takes her there

[2:01:08] and then realizes oh

[2:01:10] this was a way of this

[2:01:11] mother basically

[2:01:12] abandoning her daughter

[2:01:13] and now she's my

[2:01:15] charge but I don't

[2:01:16] want to be a dad so

[2:01:17] I've got to figure out

[2:01:18] where to drop her off

[2:01:19] and they travel from

[2:01:19] city to city in Europe

[2:01:20] trying on this search

[2:01:22] for the girl's

[2:01:23] grandmother and all

[2:01:24] the girl remembers is

[2:01:25] I remember what her

[2:01:26] house looks like but I

[2:01:27] don't remember where it

[2:01:28] is or what my

[2:01:28] grandmother's name is

[2:01:29] and the two of them

[2:01:31] of course they give

[2:01:33] each other a reason

[2:01:34] to keep living but I

[2:01:35] thought it was a

[2:01:36] really good movie and

[2:01:37] like very like funny

[2:01:39] at times but also

[2:01:40] genuinely like sad in

[2:01:42] the way you would

[2:01:42] assume a German movie

[2:01:44] from inventors in the

[2:01:45] 70s would be and it

[2:01:46] was at the beginning

[2:01:47] of it it was great

[2:01:48] seeing New York through

[2:01:50] the eyes of someone who

[2:01:51] was not a New Yorker

[2:01:52] like I've seen the

[2:01:53] like Woody Allen you

[2:01:55] know kind of Spike Lee

[2:01:56] New York where it's

[2:01:57] someone who knows the

[2:01:57] place and to see it

[2:01:58] through the eyes of

[2:01:58] somebody who is not a

[2:02:00] native was really cool

[2:02:02] it just made things I

[2:02:03] had seen before look a

[2:02:04] little different but I

[2:02:05] just thought it was a

[2:02:06] really good movie and

[2:02:07] I'm not usually a big

[2:02:07] road movies person but

[2:02:08] this was a good road

[2:02:09] movie so Alice in the

[2:02:10] Cities is the movie I'm

[2:02:11] recommending

Dan McCoy

[2:02:12] so we've all said a

[2:02:14] movie we fulfilled our

[2:02:15] quota

Stuart Wellington

[2:02:16] yep

[2:02:16] which means

[2:02:18] our curse is lifted

Dan McCoy

[2:02:19] which means it's time for

[2:02:21] the show to end and

[2:02:22] before we say all our

[2:02:24] usual usual bullshit

Elliott Kalan

[2:02:25] wait Dan

[2:02:26] wait what

[2:02:26] yeah what are we gonna

[2:02:27] say and then I'll tell

[2:02:28] you I'll reveal something

[2:02:28] to you but what are you

[2:02:29] gonna say okay

Dan McCoy

[2:02:29] before we say all our

[2:02:31] usual bullshit and

[2:02:32] perhaps afterwards too

[2:02:34] why not it'd be nice

[2:02:36] I'd like to thank our

[2:02:37] guest Ginny Jaffe

Jenny Jaffe

[2:02:38] thank you guys so much

[2:02:39] for having me this was

[2:02:41] very fun thank you so

Elliott Kalan

[2:02:42] much for being here as

[2:02:43] part of our game because

[2:02:44] Dan I'm here to tell

[2:02:46] you this isn't a podcast

[2:02:48] what

[2:02:49] this is a computer game

[2:02:51] put together by your

[2:02:52] cat

[2:02:53] your cat Archie

Stuart Wellington

[2:02:56] he's so good at

[2:02:57] computers

Elliott Kalan

[2:02:57] he's so good at

[2:02:58] computers that he took a

[2:02:59] podcasting video game

[2:03:00] god

[2:03:01] and he made it about

[2:03:02] you

[2:03:03] you should have known

Stuart Wellington

[2:03:04] that such lame bits as

[2:03:06] Crawdaddy

[2:03:06] excuse me

[2:03:08] Crawdaddy is a great bit

Elliott Kalan

[2:03:10] future classic bit

[2:03:11] any cat that could

[2:03:12] envision Crawdaddy is

[2:03:14] clearly the smartest of

[2:03:15] all cats

[2:03:16] but Dan so

[2:03:17] there's only one way to

[2:03:18] win this game

[2:03:19] oh no

[2:03:19] you gotta end the

[2:03:22] podcast properly

[2:03:23] oh okay

[2:03:23] okay

Dan McCoy

[2:03:24] okay well I

[2:03:26] thank our guest

[2:03:27] and now I should

[2:03:28] probably say you know

[2:03:29] hashtag us on

[2:03:30] Twitter

[2:03:30] spread the word

[2:03:32] review us on iTunes

[2:03:33] please you know do

[2:03:34] it if you have

[2:03:35] something nice to

[2:03:36] say

[2:03:36] if you don't

[2:03:37] if you don't have

[2:03:37] something nice to

[2:03:38] say why are you

[2:03:38] spending the time

[2:03:39] you're losing the

[2:03:40] game Dan

[2:03:40] you're losing the

[2:03:40] game

[2:03:41] all that stuff

[2:03:44] go to MaximumFun.org

[2:03:45] for all the great

[2:03:47] shows on our network

[2:03:48] they're lovely

[2:03:50] people

[2:03:50] and Stuart you

[2:03:52] look like you have

[2:03:53] something to say

Stuart Wellington

[2:03:53] yeah I've been

[2:03:55] Stuart Wellington of the

[2:03:56] Flophouse podcast

[2:03:56] thanks for listening

[2:03:57] I've been Dan McCoy

Elliott Kalan

[2:03:58] I'm Jenny Jaffe

[2:04:00] and this is Elliot

[2:04:01] Kalin thanks again

[2:04:02] Jenny thanks everybody

[2:04:03] for listening pick up

[2:04:03] some tickets to a

[2:04:04] Flophouse live show

[2:04:05] why not Dan

[2:04:05] I've got good news

[2:04:07] you won the game

[2:04:08] all right this is a

Dan McCoy

[2:04:11] nice ending

[2:04:11] bye

[2:04:12] okay

[2:04:12] you lost it

[2:04:14] at the very end

[2:04:14] you lost it

[2:04:15] let's uh

[2:04:29] let's just go ahead

[2:04:30] and do this man

[2:04:31] wait we're gonna

Elliott Kalan

[2:04:32] what man are we

[2:04:33] gonna do

[2:04:34] we're gonna do this man

[2:04:35] is it Matthew

[2:04:36] McConaughey

[2:04:36] because I saw a lot

[2:04:37] of his butt in the

[2:04:38] movie

[2:04:38] it was great

Jenny Jaffe

[2:04:39] a waste of how

[2:04:40] good he looked

Dan McCoy

[2:04:41] MaximumFun.org

[2:04:44] comedy and culture

[2:04:45] artists don't

[2:04:46] audience supported

Ep. #285 - Serenity

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