Ep. #286 - Replicas

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] On this episode of the podcast, we discuss replicas.

[0:05] Also known as John Wick 4, John Wick deals with personal loss in a very different way than he usually does.

[0:11] That's nice. Yeah, yeah, that's nice.

[0:14] What I like is it reminds people of a huge movie that's in the theaters.

[0:30] Hey, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Dan McCoy

[0:45] Hey, dude, it's me, Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:48] And over here, it's Elliot Kalin, and joining me is a special guest for a few moments.

[0:52] What's your name, sir?

[0:54] Sammy.

[0:54] Sammy, would you like to say hello to everybody?

[0:57] You want to say it? No? Shaking your head no?

[0:59] Do you want to say poop to everybody?

[1:02] No? Do you want to say Batman to everybody?

[1:05] Oh, okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06] Oh, wow. Sammy takes one look at Dan and runs away.

Dan McCoy

[1:11] Sammy is refusing your stage dad push into show business, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16] No, this is the only way we're going to make ends meet. He's got to become a superstar.

[1:20] Sammy, do you want to be on a TV show?

[1:24] No.

[1:24] No? Okay, here. Can you stop clicking that pen right into the microphone?

[1:27] I figured that since today is a movie all about family, I'd bring my own son onto the show. What do you guys think?

Stuart Wellington

[1:34] I think that's a great idea, although he doesn't seem to think so.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37] No, it's funny because...

Dan McCoy

[1:39] He seems very invested in being in the room and seeing the podcast, but not being on the podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44] Yes, well, he likes to be hanging out with me. Isn't that right, Sammy?

[1:47] Yeah, but he's a very shy boy and he doesn't like to have the spotlight.

[1:50] I'll tell you what. Why don't you go upstairs and help mommy with her project, okay?

[1:54] You don't even say goodbye?

[1:56] Bye.

[1:56] Oh, he said goodbye. Bye, Sammy.

[1:58] Okay.

[2:01] Okay, guys.

Stuart Wellington

[2:02] Okay, now that he's gone, let's talk shit about it.

Elliott Kalan

[2:05] Okay, can you believe how little he brought to that bit?

Stuart Wellington

[2:09] I know. You were giving him all those great prompts.

Elliott Kalan

[2:12] I thought you were going to be like, could you believe how little he is?

[2:17] He's like a person, but he's like a tiny person. Can you believe that? Crazy.

Stuart Wellington

[2:22] It was like somebody cooked him in a little cloning tank for only like, I don't know, 10 days.

Elliott Kalan

[2:28] Not the full 17.

[2:29] Dan, now we mentioned family, cloning tanks.

[2:32] What do we do on this podcast? Is it a cloning podcast?

Dan McCoy

[2:35] Well, I mean, this week in part, but mostly it's a bad movie podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[2:41] And what do we watch this week?

[2:44] Replicas.

[2:44] Starring Keanu Reeves.

[2:47] And?

[2:48] Alice Eve.

[2:49] And?

[2:51] That guy who's a character actor who's always bad.

[2:54] What?

[2:55] What?

[2:56] The bad guy.

[2:56] Thomas Middleditch?

[2:58] No.

[2:59] Oh, Thomas Middleditch is also in it.

[3:00] I was thinking of the big villain.

[3:01] You mean he's always a bad guy?

[3:03] In the movies?

Elliott Kalan

[3:04] Yes.

[3:05] Because when you say a character actor who's always bad, it sounds like he's a bad character actor.

[3:09] Uh-huh.

[3:10] Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[3:11] I'm just, I'm saving you.

Dan McCoy

[3:12] I'm not making any value judgment about his performances or him as a person.

[3:15] Okay, I'm glad we could save you from a slander lawsuit.

Elliott Kalan

[3:19] Yeah, the first time for the flop house.

[3:22] Yeah, usually we get hit with those pretty hard.

[3:24] Now, guys, I want to apologize that my son, like we said, was super into hanging out here,

[3:29] would not leave the room for a while.

[3:31] But then once the microphones came on, he totally didn't want to talk.

[3:34] Stage fright.

[3:35] And stage fright, it ties into today's film.

[3:37] How is that, Dan?

[3:38] Uh-huh.

[3:39] Yeah, Dan.

[3:40] Hold on.

[3:41] You jackass.

[3:43] You can't set up a segue that I have no idea where it goes.

[3:46] Okay, well then you do your own segue, I guess.

Stuart Wellington

[3:49] Okay, so after firing up Amazon Prime.

[3:53] Oh, it was on Amazon Prime?

[3:55] I mean, I think I paid for it.

[3:57] Yeah, we had to rent it.

[3:59] Yeah, I rented it on Amazon Prime.

[4:01] Don't, you know, I don't like supporting, you know, big Amazon or anything, but I was in a rush.

[4:08] So we...

Dan McCoy

[4:09] You were in a rush, so you couldn't...

Stuart Wellington

[4:11] What?

[4:11] I don't know, like fucking fly to Portland to go to the last blockbuster.

Dan McCoy

[4:15] Yeah, get in, like, some sort of artisanal version of this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[4:21] Yeah, I didn't download it from someone else's brain who had already watched it.

[4:25] Some mom and pop streaming service?

Elliott Kalan

[4:26] Dan was surprised that it was on Amazon because, as always, anytime he has to watch a movie,

[4:29] he buys a plane ticket, hops on the flight, and then fires up his in-flight entertainment.

[4:35] That's how he watches every movie.

Dan McCoy

[4:38] Uh, no, I just didn't want to have paid for it on iTunes for no reason.

[4:42] But, uh, apparently...

[4:44] This is a real waste of time, this diversion.

[4:46] Yeah.

[4:46] You guys?

Stuart Wellington

[4:46] I was getting into my fucking opening pick.

[4:49] Yeah.

[4:49] So, uh, I fired up the movie.

[4:53] I got to watch, like...

Elliott Kalan

[4:54] Guys, wait, look, I want to apologize.

[4:55] This is Sammy's fault, okay?

[4:56] And I understand that.

[4:57] He really threw off our chemistry.

[4:59] I thought he'd be the next Jenny Jaffe.

[5:00] It did not work out.

[5:02] I apologize for that.

Dan McCoy

[5:03] Really throwing Sammy under the bus.

[5:05] Yeah, dragging Sammy.

Elliott Kalan

[5:07] Uh, I would never actually drag my son or throw him under a bus.

Stuart Wellington

[5:11] That's gonna be our follow-up podcast where we, uh, we talk about the previous episode.

Dan McCoy

[5:16] But, uh, speaking about vehicle accidents and sons, go on with your story about replicas.

[5:22] I, I, I don't know what you refer to.

Elliott Kalan

[5:24] Let's talk about the movie, won't we?

[5:25] Uh, look, I want to say all jokes aside, Dan, solid gold segue, Sterling Silver.

[5:31] Wonderful work.

[5:32] Okay, Stuart, continue.

Stuart Wellington

[5:33] Sterling Silver would be a, uh, sounds like one of the many different production logos that we are hit with.

[5:39] I think we get, like, six or seven.

[5:40] Wasn't one of them, like, something like entertainment?

[5:42] Entertainment Studios.

Elliott Kalan

[5:43] I think it's the same company that made Hurricane Heist, Entertainment Studios Motion Pictures.

Stuart Wellington

[5:50] It's amazing.

[5:51] Uh, so we get a bunch of those, and then the movie opens, flying over the ocean.

[5:56] Yeah, I was like, are we watching Serenity again?

[5:58] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[5:59] And we are in Arecibo, Puerto Rico.

[6:03] We are introduced to a high-tech research facility called Bio9.

Elliott Kalan

[6:08] Now, here's a question I had, guys.

[6:10] Why is the movie in Puerto Rico?

[6:11] They never really seemed to make anything out of that.

Dan McCoy

[6:16] Uh, so much so that I did not realize until Stuart said it right now that they were in Puerto Rico.

Stuart Wellington

[6:20] That's insane, because any time there's a shot that's outdoors, especially at night, you can hear,

[6:27] you can very clearly hear the coquies, the little frogs chirping, and I found that very, uh...

Dan McCoy

[6:33] I mean, I haven't been to Puerto Rico 50 times like you have, Stuart, so I don't, like, associate the...

[6:37] Why are you saying that, like, that's a burn?

[6:39] No, it's not a burn.

[6:40] I'm just saying that, like, I have no association with frog noises in Puerto Rico.

Elliott Kalan

[6:44] It was something I kept forgetting, and then suddenly, like, some police would show up, and they'd say,

[6:49] oh, you speak English?

[6:50] Pardon my English.

[6:51] I speak Spanish.

[6:51] And I was like, why?

[6:52] Oh, right, right, Puerto Rico.

[6:53] Or when they're shopping for Christmas trees, and there's just, like, Latin music in the background,

[6:58] I was like, this is weird Christmas music.

[7:00] Oh, right, it's Puerto Rico.

[7:01] It's Puerto...

[7:01] Like, the settings seem to confuse me more than to add anything to the movie.

[7:06] And how did it add nothing to the movie?

[7:08] Stuart, continue.

[7:09] They're at the Bio 9 facility, right?

Stuart Wellington

[7:10] I mean, I think Puerto Rico is its own character in the movie, but we'll go...

[7:14] We'll talk about that later.

[7:16] So we're in the Bio 9 research facility.

[7:18] We're introduced to Will Foster, some kind of a scientist, played by Keanu Reeves, his buddy Ed.

Elliott Kalan

[7:24] Some kind of a scientist.

Stuart Wellington

[7:25] He is a neurocomputerologist.

[7:28] Okay, thank you for clarifying, Elliot.

[7:29] And we have Thomas Middleditch, who's, like, kind of like a flunky Igor type.

[7:36] I want to say this about...

Elliott Kalan

[7:38] Oh, go on.

[7:38] I was going to say, Keanu Reeves is, like, a computer scientist who also does neuroscience,

[7:42] and Thomas Middleditch is, like, a biologist.

[7:44] He's a...

[7:46] He grows the organs, and Keanu Reeves is working with robots.

[7:49] So that's their main difference.

[7:51] They're the original odd couple.

Dan McCoy

[7:52] I was going to say that, like, Keanu Reeves is an actor that I've grown to have great fondness for.

[7:58] Like, I liked him at the beginning.

[8:00] I thought he was a very funny comic actor, but I didn't know what his range was.

[8:03] But I think in his old age, or not old age, but middle age, he's gotten...

[8:06] No, no, in his old age.

[8:07] He's almost dead now.

[8:08] Okay.

[8:08] In his middle age, he's gotten very interesting.

[8:11] I will say, though, in these early scenes, I don't really buy him so much as a scientist.

[8:16] But once he starts being, like, sad and mourning, like, I feel that it plays more to his strength,

[8:21] which is, like, sort of this sad-eyed sincerity.

Elliott Kalan

[8:24] There is also...

[8:25] I can see that.

[8:26] There is also a scene later on where he is very excited, and we'll give you the context later,

[8:30] to be cooking breakfast for his family.

[8:32] And I thought it was such a good dead-on performance of a weird dad who is suddenly excited to...

[8:37] He's like, French toast, m'lady, and stuff like that.

[8:40] And it's like, oh, I've known so many dads like this, who are like, I'm gonna have some fun now.

[8:45] And it doesn't work.

Stuart Wellington

[8:46] Yeah.

[8:46] I think he's pretty fun in this movie.

[8:49] Yeah.

[8:49] So, they, like, the alarms start ringing.

[8:53] They realize they have a new donor on the way, so everybody goes to their battle stations.

[8:58] And they were introduced to, like, a lab where there's a robot that looks kind of like the robots from the movie iRobot.

[9:07] Yeah.

[9:08] With the numbers 3, 4, 5 stenciled on its chest.

[9:12] Ooh, spooky.

Dan McCoy

[9:14] The effects get a little better later on, but in these early scenes, like, I feel like the robot, when he moves, looks like kind of like bad stop motion, even though I'm sure it's CGI.

[9:23] But it has this really herky-jerky weird quality.

[9:26] See, I liked that about it.

Elliott Kalan

[9:27] I actually liked the robot effects, because they looked...

[9:29] They didn't look as smooth as I was worried they would look.

[9:31] Yeah.

[9:32] It does look herky-jerky.

[9:32] It looks like a robot that is not very good at being a robot.

[9:36] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[9:37] Uh-huh.

[9:37] And we'll, as we'll see, it doesn't continue being that good at being a robot.

[9:44] Foreshadowing.

[9:44] Yeah.

[9:45] So they open up a casket, and the donor is revealed to be a dead soldier who has been recently killed.

[9:52] An action, I believe.

[9:53] And they hook up a device, and they, like, run some kind of a thing into its brain.

Elliott Kalan

[9:59] They stick a needle into its brain to pull out its brain waves or something, or its neurocode?

Stuart Wellington

[10:05] Yeah, there's this cool graphic of, like,

[10:07] data downloading from a brain into a, like, like a giant Nintendo cartridge thing called,

[10:14] like, a mem disk or a mem drive.

[10:17] Yeah, they're extracting memories.

Elliott Kalan

[10:18] Memories of this guy.

Stuart Wellington

[10:19] Yeah, the mem drive that, like, that is color-coded based on when there's memories in it.

Elliott Kalan

[10:25] It is a hilarious looking prop.

[10:27] Like, it does, like Stuart says, it looks like an enormous Nintendo cartridge.

[10:30] Yeah.

[10:30] And it is, I don't know, it's one of the, one of a couple things in the movie where I was like,

[10:34] I really like the design of this thing.

[10:36] It looks so unwieldy and like a, like something you would store brain memories on in, like,

[10:41] the 1990s, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[10:43] That's, that's kind of part of the, part of the appeal for me.

[10:46] So then, in the same sense of cool 1990s stuff, Dr. Will Foster, in order to map the brain,

[10:54] the dead soldier's brainwaves, onto the robot's brain, he puts on this super cool visor, and

[10:59] then he starts doing, like, minority report, like, moving browsers around with his, with

[11:05] his hands and stuff.

[11:05] And it's all holograms in an AR display.

[11:08] Uh-huh.

[11:09] And he's much better at manipulating this, these, these, like, hologram screens than I am, say,

[11:15] my phone screen.

Elliott Kalan

[11:18] I want to mention real here, the idea of what the brain is like, and memories are like,

[11:21] in this movie is so, like, you could see inside a brain and stuff like that, and you can easily

[11:26] find things.

[11:27] And there's a scene later on where Keanu Reeves needs to search for a specific memory of a

[11:31] character named Zoe in a brain, and he types into a search window, Zoe.

[11:35] And it's like, wait, so is the brain indexed?

[11:37] I don't understand.

Stuart Wellington

[11:39] Yeah, like, oh no, all memories of the movie Killing Zoe are gone.

[11:46] Oh, terrible.

Elliott Kalan

[11:48] Dad, I had a report on Franny and Zoe due next week.

Stuart Wellington

[11:54] Yeah.

[11:55] So, yeah, so he, you know, he moves his arms around a lot, and we see that the robot is

[12:00] slowly, like, coming to life.

[12:02] Uh, this scene takes probably a little too long.

[12:04] And then, uh, you know.

Elliott Kalan

[12:06] There's a lot of tech momo jumbo.

[12:08] There's a lot of, like, setting up algorithm.

[12:10] Algorithm good.

[12:11] Cortex neuroplasma transfer.

[12:14] Transferring cortex neuroplasma.

[12:15] Okay, check.

[12:17] Cerebral energon.

[12:18] Cerebral energon is frying.

[12:20] Get the eggs motivated.

[12:22] Eggs are motivated.

[12:24] You know, that kind of stuff.

[12:25] Truck it over.

[12:26] Trucking.

[12:27] Keep on trucking.

[12:28] Keeping on trucking.

[12:30] That kind of stuff.

[12:31] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[12:31] Yeah.

[12:32] So, uh, that all happens.

[12:34] And then the robot wakes up, and it seems like everything's going well, until all of a

[12:39] sudden the robot begins freaking out and ripping itself apart.

[12:43] Uh, and I thought this scene was, like, I actually thought this scene was kind of cool.

[12:47] Like, and also, it seems pretty obvious why the robot is not happy, because.

Dan McCoy

[12:53] Yeah, it does seem pretty obvious.

[12:54] And yet, it takes Keanu half the movie to figure out what the deal is, which I think we'll get

[12:59] to that.

[13:00] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[13:01] Yeah, it's like, yeah, this soldier is killed in action, and then he wakes up, and he's

[13:05] in, like, this kind of, as we have described it, kind of crappy robot body, and he freaks

[13:10] out.

[13:11] Like.

[13:11] Yeah, he's like, what am I?

[13:13] Why am I?

Elliott Kalan

[13:14] And you think the first thing they would say is, wait, you're, you died, and you're in a

[13:17] robot now.

[13:18] But instead, Keanu Reeves just keeps going, like, keeps going, Sergeant Johnson.

[13:22] Sergeant Johnson.

[13:23] Please, Sergeant Johnson.

[13:24] And it's like, you're only confusing him more.

[13:26] Just explain everything.

[13:27] Come on.

Stuart Wellington

[13:27] Yeah, yeah.

[13:28] So that obviously doesn't go well.

[13:30] His boss, a character named Jones, is very disappointed.

[13:35] And they, I guess they, like, that was the end of a work day on Friday.

[13:41] So Keanu Reeves is like, well, I'm going on vacation for a long weekend.

[13:46] I'll see you afterwards.

[13:48] But there's the feeling that there's pressure to shut the whole project down if they can't

[13:53] get, if they can't find success on the next try.

[13:55] So we have a ticking clock, gentlemen.

Dan McCoy

[13:58] Yeah, the motivations of the corporation are a little, like, hazy, I feel like, throughout

[14:02] the movie.

[14:03] Like, I guess, like, at this point, they're like, I don't want to throw good money after

[14:07] bad, so I'm going to shut things down.

[14:08] But later on, I'm not quite sure why it makes some of the moves it does.

Elliott Kalan

[14:12] Well, it starts out, it starts out as, this is a company and we need results.

[14:16] And by the end of the movie, it is, we are some sort of secret organization that wants

[14:20] to do, harness your work for something.

[14:23] Yeah.

[14:23] They mention, I mean, we can jump ahead, but they mention at one point, they go, imagine

[14:26] a computer virus with the hacker's mind inside the virus.

[14:30] And it's like, that doesn't make any sense.

[14:31] Come on.

[14:32] But also, like, computer viruses are, you can just program them in.

[14:36] What's the, like...

[14:36] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[14:37] It's like, we've reached pretty good virus technology.

[14:41] We don't need, like, a hacker inside that virus to make it better.

Stuart Wellington

[14:44] You don't need, like, a console cowboy stuck in that virus, flying through walls of ice.

[14:49] Yeah, like, zooming around on rollerblades.

Elliott Kalan

[14:52] They're like, imagine Hugh Jackman in Swordfish inside the computer, so he doesn't have to spin

[14:56] around in his chair and drink wine while he dances around typing keypads to open up that

[15:01] cube or whatever it is that's on the screen.

[15:03] He can just do it inside the computer.

[15:05] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[15:06] Yeah.

[15:06] He would have a virtual bathrobe.

[15:09] So, we are introduced to, we're introduced to his loving family.

[15:14] They've clearly moved, I guess, moved down to Puerto Rico to support this job.

[15:19] His wife, Mona, played by Alice Eve, is, I guess, a nurse at a clinic?

[15:23] Yeah.

[15:23] Yes, or a doctor.

[15:26] Yeah.

[15:27] Reminds me of an old riddle, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[15:29] Apparently, there was a car accident, and a man and a boy are in the car accident.

Stuart Wellington

[15:35] Do we have to do this whole riddle?

Elliott Kalan

[15:38] You just sort of reference it, I think.

[15:39] The boy gets rushed to the hospital, and the doctor says, I can't operate on this boy.

[15:44] He's dead.

[15:44] We'll have to clone him and put a computer program in his brain.

[15:48] Replicas.

[15:49] Okay.

[15:50] Spoiler alert.

Stuart Wellington

[15:50] We're introduced to the three foster children.

[15:55] Are they?

[15:55] See what I did?

[15:56] Because that's their last name, dude.

[15:59] Oh, I get it.

[15:59] And their name is Australian for beer.

[16:01] So, they're really the beer family.

[16:03] Mm-hmm.

[16:05] And we're introduced to the three children, Sophie, Matt, and Zoe.

[16:10] Mm-hmm.

[16:11] And the whole family is getting ready to go.

[16:14] They're loading up in the car.

[16:16] They're going to take a nighttime drive to, I guess, a boat to go on a boat trip.

Elliott Kalan

[16:20] To Thomas Middleditch has a boat that he is loaning them to go on a family boat trip.

[16:25] Because when you have two teenagers and a younger kid, the first thing you want is to be stuck

[16:30] on a small boat for who knows how many days together.

[16:33] Now, are they, like.

[16:33] What's that boat's name?

[16:35] It was called, I don't remember.

[16:36] The Cheating Hussey.

[16:37] The Cheating Hussey.

[16:38] That's right.

[16:38] I think there's no bathroom on it, too.

Dan McCoy

[16:40] They're not headed directly to the boat, right?

[16:42] They're going to, like, a cabin or something.

[16:43] Because it's, like, nighttime.

[16:44] They're not going to all go on a family middle-of-the-night boat trip.

[16:47] I thought they were just going on the boat.

Stuart Wellington

[16:48] Yeah, but you've got to catch those fish.

[16:51] That's pretty weird.

Elliott Kalan

[16:52] Yeah, you've got to get up early in the morning if you're going to catch those fish.

[16:54] So early it's not even morning yet.

[16:56] It's nighttime.

[16:56] And also, a driving rain.

Stuart Wellington

[16:59] Yeah, so we get a little bit of information that's going to be applicable later.

[17:03] And Tom's Middle Ditch, I guess, is going to look after their house while they're gone.

[17:08] They'll climb into the car and go driving.

[17:10] And just like you'd imagine it, it starts raining right away.

[17:14] They're driving on a dangerous, rainy road.

[17:18] And they narrowly avoid getting smashed by a semi-truck.

[17:21] Only to get smashed by a falling tree.

[17:26] Which, what?

Dan McCoy

[17:28] Skewers Alice Eve and then sends the car into a pond or a lake.

[17:35] And the others, other than Keanu Reeves, drown.

Stuart Wellington

[17:38] Yeah, so, like, it's shot fairly matter-of-factly.

[17:42] It is not as gory or as horrifying as the actual experience of me.

[17:47] Are you giving the director his performance review?

[17:49] I'm not sure what's happening right now.

[17:50] Yeah, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[17:51] This isn't the kind of podcast where we tell directors if they did a good job or not.

[17:54] Good point.

[17:55] Okay.

[17:55] Stuart, stop it.

[17:59] Dan's right.

[18:00] This is the kind of podcast where we present no judgments.

Dan McCoy

[18:03] I'm just saying, the fact that there was nothing particularly interesting about the way it was shot seems to be a fact that we can not put in the podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[18:12] I think...

[18:13] I don't know.

[18:13] I think it's...

[18:14] I mean, we put a lot of dumb bullshit on this podcast, Dan.

[18:17] It's our podcast.

[18:18] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[18:19] One thing I'll mention here is that I guess Keanu Reeves' assassin training kicked in because his entire family dies in this car crash and he emerges without a scratch.

[18:29] Just like...

[18:30] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[18:30] I mean, physical scratch.

[18:31] I mean, I think he has a scratch on his head, but...

[18:33] Okay.

[18:34] He...

[18:34] I mean, he has severely deep emotional wounds at this point, as you would imagine.

Elliott Kalan

[18:39] He also seems to go back into the water and retrieve each of their bodies one at a time, right?

Stuart Wellington

[18:44] Yeah, and I do want to point out, I am aware of Keanu Reeves' own, like, his real-life traumatic past regarding loved ones in car accidents.

[18:55] And I find that, like...

[18:56] Oh, I'm not aware of that.

[18:57] I apologize.

[18:58] Yeah, I mean, he...

[18:59] No, it's...

[18:59] I mean, I think it's something that we should address at some point on this podcast because I think it is an...

[19:05] Like, it's an interesting choice for him and an interesting choice, like, for the team, for him to be...

[19:12] Like, maybe he's working through something.

[19:14] But he certainly brings a fair amount of emotion to this specific situation.

[19:20] He pulls his family's bodies out of the car.

[19:23] He reaches out to his friend Ed, Thomas Middleditch, because he has the immediate plan to bring his family back to life.

[19:33] At this point, I know what you're thinking.

Dan McCoy

[19:35] Like, cool, a robot family.

[19:37] Uh-uh.

[19:37] No.

[19:38] There's also clones.

[19:39] And for some reason, for some reason, there are two parallel tracks going on of research of this thing.

[19:44] And they're not trying to, like, put old memories in clone bodies.

[19:48] They're like, uh, we've got the technology to just clone humans, but let's put them in robots instead.

Elliott Kalan

[19:52] Well, what they say is they have not yet reached the stage of cloning humans at the project.

[19:57] They've only cloned lower animals.

[19:59] And it's probably unethical to put a human mind...

[20:02] I mean, in a robot to begin with, but against its will.

[20:05] It's probably unethical to put a human mind in a cloned body until you know that you can move a human mind into something.

[20:09] So you don't end up with, like, oh, great.

[20:11] We have a cloned body with a brain that doesn't work.

[20:14] Okay, turn it into a writer for Family Guy.

[20:17] I guess.

[20:18] I mean, like...

[20:18] Whoa!

[20:18] Wow.

[20:19] I say that also having a friend who works for Family Guy.

[20:22] And there's a lot of great people who work over there.

[20:24] Yeah.

[20:24] I just think it's interesting because, like...

Dan McCoy

[20:26] Wow, well, he's got a friend, everybody.

Elliott Kalan

[20:28] This...

[20:29] His name is Chris.

Dan McCoy

[20:30] Yeah.

[20:31] Oh, wow.

[20:31] This choice makes sense for plot machinations later on.

[20:36] But right now, like, early in the movie, I was just like, what?

[20:39] Why?

[20:40] But we were just talking about robots.

[20:42] Now they're clones.

[20:42] Yeah, it's a little...

[20:43] It does seem to come out of nowhere.

Elliott Kalan

[20:44] It literally comes out of nowhere since they never mentioned it before.

[20:47] But here's another thing that gets me.

[20:49] And, you know, spoiler alert, this part of the movie I was enjoying.

[20:53] But that, like...

[20:55] He's like, well, I guess I could bring over the cloning pods, but we only have three of them.

[20:59] And it's like, wait, so the lab has three cloning pods.

[21:03] You're just going to take them.

[21:04] And they're huge.

[21:04] Like, they take up a lot of space.

[21:06] You're just going to take them, and nobody is going to notice that you took all of the cloning pods from the project?

Stuart Wellington

[21:12] Like...

[21:12] Well, maybe...

[21:13] I mean, I would say maybe that that was an avenue that they had been researching, and then they decided to put it on pause until they get the brain mapping done properly.

[21:24] Oh, maybe.

[21:24] I mean, like...

Dan McCoy

[21:25] It is ridiculous on one hand.

[21:27] On the other hand, the movie does address that later on, where you find out, like, yeah, people noticed.

[21:32] Yeah, that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[21:33] But it was just weird, because he thought he could get away with it.

[21:35] I guess it was the assumption that, like, people would come by and be like, where are the cloning pods?

[21:39] And be like, oh, they're being cleaned.

[21:41] I sent them out to get cleaned.

[21:43] A 17-day cleaning.

[21:44] A 17-day cleaning.

[21:45] You've really got to get in all the nooks of the cloning pods, because there's a little bit of clone left in there, and that's just gross.

Dan McCoy

[21:51] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[21:51] Well, you don't want that clone mixing up with the other clone, and then you've got the fly situation.

[21:55] Yeah, exactly.

Stuart Wellington

[21:56] Yeah, which is pretty sexy at first, and then after a little while, you're like, no, thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[22:01] Sometimes there's a clone, and it gets just a little bit of clone on its nose, and it looks like it's got a red ball on its nose, and then it's a clown.

[22:07] It's not a clone.

Stuart Wellington

[22:08] Oh, wow.

[22:09] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[22:10] Now, at this point—

[22:11] That was a long walk to the circus, huh?

[22:16] So at this point, Keanu, or Dr. Will, is—

[22:20] Keanu?

Stuart Wellington

[22:20] He is—

Elliott Kalan

[22:21] Look, look, Stuart's saying, sing him a song, he's the Keanu man.

Stuart Wellington

[22:28] He is behaving in your typical, like, Herbert West, Dr. Frankenstein type thing.

[22:35] Yeah.

[22:35] And Ed—and he keeps dragging Ed into these situations, and you kind of wish Ed had been the kind of friend who's like,

[22:43] well, sometimes dead is better, but he is not that kind of friend.

Dan McCoy

[22:47] Well, that was—like, at this point in the movie, you're kind of wondering, like, is this going to turn into a pet cemetery?

[22:52] Like, you're not totally clear where this is—like, the movie as a whole is going to go.

[22:57] Yeah.

[22:57] And the movie is not clear where the movie as a whole is going to go.

Stuart Wellington

[22:59] Yeah.

[23:00] So, yeah.

[23:01] So they load the bodies up in the back of a truck.

[23:03] They also have loaded all the cloning equipment.

[23:06] And they go back to Will's house.

[23:08] And I guess the plan is to not tell anyone there was a car accident.

[23:12] And they're going to try and clone Will's family.

[23:14] The problem is—

[23:15] Toast up some pizza rolls and make a real night of it.

[23:17] There's only three cloning pods, and he has four dead family members.

[23:23] So he's going to have to make a choice.

[23:25] And actually, I thought that was a pretty fun—

[23:27] Oh, yeah.

[23:27] I thought that was a pretty fun twist.

[23:28] There is—

[23:28] And the sequence where he, like, writes his family members' names on pieces of paper was pretty good.

[23:34] Because he immediately puts—he's like, no, I've got to save my wife.

[23:37] And then he puts his three kids' names in a bowl and asks his friend to pick one randomly, which is a crazy thing to do.

[23:46] And Thomas Middell, to his credit, is like, no, you've got to make that choice.

[23:50] Yeah.

[23:50] He's obviously, you know, he's impaired by grief.

Dan McCoy

[23:53] I mean, I don't want to spoil my final judgment, but there are a lot of choices in this movie that I actually thought were pretty fun.

[23:59] That's one of them that, like, he has to choose.

Stuart Wellington

[24:01] And it turns out that the child they are not resurrecting is his youngest, named thematically appropriately, Zoe.

[24:10] Now, his youngest, who he also seems to like the most.

Elliott Kalan

[24:14] Yeah, I mean—

[24:14] I mean, she's younger.

[24:15] She's not yet at the irritating age, but—

Stuart Wellington

[24:18] Yeah, and they also could have, like, slipped in more references to her because it makes that plot point more important.

Elliott Kalan

[24:24] Yes, exactly.

[24:24] Yeah.

[24:24] We don't really get too much of a sense of the other kids before they're cloned.

[24:28] But here's—I wish they had in that scene him going back and just remembering all the worst things about each of his kids to try to figure out which one was not worth bringing back.

[24:36] Be like, ugh, well, the older girl, she's just at this weird stage that she doesn't want to talk to me.

[24:41] She thinks I'm so lame.

[24:43] It's so annoying.

[24:43] It makes me feel bad every day.

[24:44] But I guess hopefully she'll grow out of that.

[24:46] But the son, ugh, like, will he ever stop masturbating?

[24:49] It's just like I find his crusty socks all over the place.

[24:53] Probably not, yeah.

[24:55] And Zoe, I mean, she's great.

[24:58] But, like, sometimes it's just like, okay, put down a book, go outside, run around, have some fun.

[25:04] You know, these kids with their phones.

Stuart Wellington

[25:06] Especially if it's those Brett Easton Ellis books she keeps reading.

[25:10] Wow.

Elliott Kalan

[25:11] Apparently she's over my outrage about the president.

[25:15] How does she get to make that judgment?

[25:17] Why does she care?

[25:18] And Thomas Middletch is like, do I need to be here while you're ruminating over all this?

Dan McCoy

[25:23] Yeah.

[25:23] At this point, there's a lot of talk about the logistics of everything.

[25:27] Like, Keanu Reeves is like, they all got to come out of their, like, clone pods at the same day.

[25:32] And, like, at first Thomas Middletch is like, that's impossible.

[25:35] Then he, like, does, like, a calculation.

[25:37] He's like, oh, I'll do it.

[25:38] And it's like, is this going to be a plot point?

[25:39] And it's not.

[25:40] It is not.

Elliott Kalan

[25:41] But it is weird.

[25:42] It's like, I guess they have to, what, slow down the cloning in a couple of the tanks so that the kids don't come out too old?

Dan McCoy

[25:48] And also, yeah, there's something about levels and timing and, yeah.

[25:53] Well, he has 17 days before these clones are going to come out.

[25:56] Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee.

[25:57] He's got just 17 days to clone his family before the big dance.

[26:03] There's this ticking clock there because Keanu still hasn't figured out how to keep the memories from being rejected and the new bodies.

[26:11] So he has to figure that out before the 17 days are over or else the clones will keep rapidly aging in their pods.

Elliott Kalan

[26:16] And he also has to monitor the levels of the tanks or else.

[26:20] So he can't leave.

[26:20] He has to stay at his house for two and a half weeks watching these clones.

Stuart Wellington

[26:25] And he also can't let the power go out, which, I mean, I guess, like, Puerto Rico has a history of having power issues.

[26:33] So that might be a reason why it was set in Puerto Rico.

[26:36] It's a pretty flimsy excuse.

[26:40] And because it's a beautiful island.

[26:42] I mean, it's a great place.

[26:43] I love Puerto Rico.

[26:44] And by shooting in Puerto Rico, I hope that it brought some, you know, additional money to the economy.

Elliott Kalan

[26:48] Yeah, I'll recommend that, once again, Flophouse Comics are available on the Flophouse website.

[26:52] All proceeds go to Puerto Rico recovery efforts.

Dan McCoy

[26:56] Yeah.

[26:57] And we learn later that the way Keanu Reeves deals with this fact that he has dynamic generators, he goes around and he steals all the batteries from the cars in the neighborhood, which is another thing that doesn't really pay off.

[27:06] It's just kind of funny.

Elliott Kalan

[27:07] But I also like that he it means that he went on this spree where in one night, like a reverse car battery Santa Claus, he went to every house and stole their car batteries.

Stuart Wellington

[27:17] Yeah, I kind of like that bit.

[27:19] And also when the police show up later and you think his goose is cooked, they reveal that information.

[27:24] And they're like, was your car battery stolen?

[27:27] And he's like, no.

[27:28] He's like, yes, I'm the lucky one.

[27:30] And they're like, oh, nothing suspicious about that.

Elliott Kalan

[27:32] See you later.

[27:32] Whole neighborhood.

[27:33] Everyone's car batteries were stolen except for this one dude.

[27:35] High level of electricity coming off of this guy's house.

[27:38] Well, nothing we can do about it.

[27:40] Dude.

[27:40] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[27:40] They pull out their like PKE meters and they're like, so much juice.

Elliott Kalan

[27:44] Time to go back to the fact that Congress changed the law to make it harder for our island almost state to take care of itself.

[27:51] Do do do do do.

[27:52] Hey, wonder if we'll ever have full representation in Congress.

[27:55] Not with this party in power.

[27:56] Da da da da da da.

[27:57] Hey, do you think that guy who was the only one in the whole block who didn't lose his car battery, maybe he stole the car batteries?

[28:03] Look, we've got such bigger problems here.

[28:05] Why are we worried about this one guy stealing car batteries?

[28:07] It's not an issue we need to deal with.

[28:09] They only sent us out to make the one block of rich white people who had their car batteries stolen feel good.

[28:13] Okay.

[28:14] You're right.

[28:14] Let's go on to real problems.

[28:16] Do do do do do.

[28:17] Anyway, that's a scene from my new show, Two Cops in Puerto Rico.

Dan McCoy

[28:21] It's weird that in between talking about such heavy things, they would like sing a little song like that.

Elliott Kalan

[28:25] Well, that's because the people in Puerto Rico, you can't bring them down.

[28:28] You know, they've always got that certain, you know, like.

[28:33] Yeah, resilience.

[28:34] Resilience, all those things that make a people, you know, strong.

[28:38] And they've got it.

[28:38] So even when all those troubles are going on, they still have that song in their heart.

[28:43] And it sounds like this.

[28:43] Do do do do do da da da da.

[28:46] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[28:47] Well.

[28:48] That aside.

[28:50] So this is where, this is about where Keanu's character makes probably the craziest choice in this movie.

[28:59] And I say that with full understanding that he has decided to clone and bring back his dead family.

[29:04] Is that because he can't, he can't resurrect his youngest daughter, Zoe, he decides to edit the memories of his other family members and completely remove all memories of their youngest daughter, which is insane.

[29:19] Yeah, which is crazy.

[29:20] Like there's, like there's, first off, he would have to do that for everyone on the planet.

Elliott Kalan

[29:25] Yeah.

[29:26] That's the thing they were always kind of putting off and it never comes up in the movie.

[29:29] But the moment where someone is like, hey, where's Zoe?

[29:32] Where's your youngest daughter?

[29:34] Because even at his computer at home, at his, in his office, he has a piece of paper on it that says like, I love daddy, love Zoe in the shape of a unicorn.

[29:41] Unicorns here represent Zoe because she's impossible.

[29:44] And they, and it's like, and maybe it's a Blade Runner reference.

[29:47] I don't know.

[29:48] But it's always like, okay, what's your long game here?

[29:50] When the rest of the world realizes he used to have a daughter.

[29:53] Do you just be like, oh no, no, you're mistaken.

[29:54] You're thinking of a different Will Foster who also was a robot brain scientist.

[29:59] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[29:59] His plan is to gaslight everyone else in the world.

[30:02] There never was a Zoe.

Elliott Kalan

[30:04] Like his mother comes in and goes, where's my granddaughter Zoe?

[30:07] Uh oh, senility has finally struck.

[30:09] Oh boy.

[30:10] Take her away, nurses.

[30:11] What?

[30:11] Oh no, I had a granddaughter.

[30:13] Her name was Zoe.

[30:14] Imaginary granddaughters.

[30:16] Oh boy.

[30:16] Take away grandma.

Stuart Wellington

[30:17] I mean, it's an, it's an important plot point to mention that though you reference Zoe's

[30:21] grandparents, uh, we learn pretty clearly in the movie that they are dead and there's no

[30:26] way that she has them.

[30:27] So it's interesting.

[30:29] Maybe somebody's carefully edited your memories, Elliot.

[30:31] I don't know if carefully edited so much is the fact that I just didn't remember.

[30:36] So back at work, uh, which Will is not going to, we find out that if the next, if the

[30:44] next test does not work, they'll definitely shut the project down.

Dan McCoy

[30:47] Yeah.

[30:47] So Thomas Middletich is on the phone with Keanu being like, you gotta get back to work.

[30:51] He's like, I can't do it.

[30:52] I gotta do this other stuff.

[30:52] He's like, dude, people are going to be suspicious.

[30:54] You gotta get back to work.

Stuart Wellington

[30:55] We get like a little bit of a don't tell mom the babysitter's dead situation.

[30:58] Or in this case, babysitter's dad, because he's the dad.

Elliott Kalan

[31:02] It's don't tell everybody your family is dead situation.

Dan McCoy

[31:05] I thought it was more of a, a kind of a weekend at Bernie's sort of thing.

[31:08] It is.

[31:09] Kind of.

[31:10] They're trying to convince, he's, Keanu's trying to convince everyone in the world that

[31:13] like these people are not dead.

[31:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[31:14] So it's, it's more of a rest of your life at Bernie's type scenario.

Dan McCoy

[31:18] Yeah.

[31:18] Cause he's like texting like his daughter's boyfriend back and like answering emails.

[31:25] That part was great.

[31:25] This was maybe my favorite part in the movie.

[31:27] I thought this was hilarious.

Elliott Kalan

[31:28] Where he's just like, uh, like, so his son's teacher comes by the house to wonder what's

[31:32] going on.

[31:32] Cause it's been five days and he hasn't shown up.

[31:34] And he's like, uh, oh yeah, he's, uh, he's at his grandparents cause he got, he got sick.

[31:38] So we sent him to his grandparents and Thomas Middletich is like, aren't his grandparents

[31:42] dead?

[31:42] And it's like, I don't know.

[31:43] So he sends an email under his wife's name to the teacher saying, we're homeschooling our son from

[31:47] now on.

[31:47] Don't worry about it.

[31:48] And then he starts responding to everyone's texts and emails and he opens up his wife's

[31:53] phone and it's like a hundred missed voicemails.

[31:56] And he's like, really?

[31:57] Oh, it's like, it was, he suddenly becomes the personal assistant for his entire family,

[32:02] which is, you know, I love this.

Dan McCoy

[32:03] Cause like the movie is like one step away from farce at this point.

[32:06] And it's a thing that like no other movie like this ever addresses the fact that like,

[32:10] oh, you got to put a lot of balls in the air if you're going to try and do one of these

[32:13] scams.

Elliott Kalan

[32:13] The only way it would have been better is if he was setting up appointments and dates

[32:18] with people and then had to dress up as members of his family.

Stuart Wellington

[32:23] Well, or at, or it may be not go that extreme.

[32:26] Just like have to cancel them right before each date.

[32:28] So he's like setting all these timers.

[32:32] He's on the phone.

[32:33] He's like, hello?

Elliott Kalan

[32:34] No, this is Mona Foster.

[32:36] Will's wife.

Stuart Wellington

[32:37] Yeah.

[32:37] I like the, uh,

[32:38] Where did you identify yourself that way, Mona?

Elliott Kalan

[32:41] I'm totally alive right now and not in a cloning tank.

Stuart Wellington

[32:44] Okay.

[32:45] I didn't think you would be, but.

[32:48] Like, yeah, I mean, that would be strange because there's only three cloning tanks.

[32:52] It would be weird that you'd be taking up one of the three.

Elliott Kalan

[32:54] And he starts getting the voices mixed up and he's like, hey, dude, it's me.

[32:59] Uh, Mona.

[33:00] Oh, damn.

[33:01] That's the sun voice I was using.

[33:02] Uh, okay.

[33:02] Oh, yes.

[33:03] No, it's me.

[33:04] Ha ha ha.

[33:07] So yeah.

[33:08] Stove top stuffing at your house tonight.

[33:10] Sorry.

[33:10] I mean, whoa.

[33:11] Stove top stuffing at your house tonight.

[33:13] And so that the audience knows I was putting a hand up to my head as if it was a phone during

[33:17] this whole day.

[33:17] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[33:18] Yeah.

[33:18] That's why you didn't hear a lot of Dan and Stuart in that bit because we were cracking

[33:21] up so hard.

[33:23] At the accuracy.

[33:24] Yeah.

[33:25] The, so this is where Thomas Mileditch explains that if they're in those tanks too long, they're

[33:30] going to get super old.

[33:31] So they got to drain those tanks.

[33:32] And also wrinkly.

Elliott Kalan

[33:33] They're going to get wrinkly and pruney.

Stuart Wellington

[33:35] Yeah.

[33:35] Uh, which is, which is why humans develop wrinkles is because we get all pruney from being in

[33:41] clone tanks all the time.

Elliott Kalan

[33:41] Because if you stay in a bath too long, you get older.

Stuart Wellington

[33:44] Yeah.

[33:44] The, so they, they, uh, they take those, uh, bodies out of the pods.

[33:49] They have to tranquilize.

[33:50] They have to sedate them because Will is not ready to map those brains.

[33:54] He still can't figure out the final component and he doesn't want us to have a situation

[33:58] where they like rip their bodies apart like that poor robot did.

Dan McCoy

[34:01] It's more than sedating them.

[34:02] They put, he puts them into a medically induced coma so that they can be asleep for as long

[34:06] as he needs.

Elliott Kalan

[34:07] And meanwhile, off to the side is Joey Ramone saying, I want to be sedated.

[34:11] Come on.

[34:11] Uh huh.

[34:12] Spread the wealth.

[34:13] Come on.

[34:13] Give a little medicine over this way.

Stuart Wellington

[34:15] Politely imploring.

[34:16] Uh, the, this is the moment when we realized that despite the early warnings that the, the

[34:23] cloning job has been, has been good.

[34:26] Like they, they look exactly the same.

[34:28] Their organs are not on the outside or anything crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[34:31] Thomas, Thomas.

[34:32] I have an extra ear.

[34:33] Nope.

[34:33] No extra ears.

[34:34] No extra feet sticking out of their butts or anything like that.

[34:36] Thomas Middleditch finally, I assume gets to live out a fantasy of seeing his coworker's

[34:41] wife naked when he helps him to remove her from the pod.

Stuart Wellington

[34:44] I mean, he's like a doctor or something though, dude.

[34:46] Like, don't you think that he, he is not a creep?

[34:51] He's very clinical.

Elliott Kalan

[34:52] Yeah.

[34:52] Of course he's a creep.

[34:53] Look at Thomas Middleditch.

[34:54] That character's a creep.

[34:55] Oh, wow.

[34:56] Wow.

Stuart Wellington

[34:57] I mean, so.

Elliott Kalan

[34:59] Now, I'm not saying Thomas Middleditch is a creep.

[35:01] I'm saying he only plays creeps.

[35:03] And can, I think there's a, I think there's a good, I think there's a, I think there's

Stuart Wellington

[35:06] a good point to, to mention that I actually liked the, the, the friendship between these

[35:11] two guys.

[35:12] Like, I thought they had some pretty good, uh, chemistry.

Elliott Kalan

[35:14] It's something that I would not have guessed that Keanu Reeves and Thomas Middleditch would

[35:17] have such good chemistry together, but they do really like react well together.

[35:21] And they're, they, like, I, it's similar to when we saw The Trust and I was like, I

[35:25] would watch a whole TV show of Nicolas Cage and Elijah Wood starring together.

[35:30] Like, I would watch a Keanu Reeves and Thomas Middleditch series of films or TV shows.

[35:34] They are really good together in a way I would not have predicted.

Stuart Wellington

[35:36] So, he, uh, he puts his family in their, in their pajamas, puts them in bed, they're in

[35:44] a coma.

[35:44] Uh, and he's like, I gotta figure this out.

[35:46] I only have three days to keep, so we have a new ticking clock.

[35:51] The house is a total mess.

[35:53] And he just can't seem to figure it out until he rests his hand on his wife's hand and he

[36:01] noticed, notices brainwave activity.

[36:03] And he's like, wait a minute.

[36:05] The secret ingredient is love.

[36:08] No.

[36:08] The fifth element is me.

Dan McCoy

[36:10] What he realizes is there's a brain body connection.

[36:14] Like you're like, which is obvious.

[36:16] And like the, uh, and these other, these other, uh, like transfers have happened because the

[36:23] consciousness are rejecting the fact that they're now in a robot body, which seems like it should

[36:27] have been fucking obvious from the start that that's the problem.

[36:30] Like no shit.

[36:31] Yeah.

[36:31] I knew like, Oh, your big insight is like, if you put them in a clone body, that's the same

[36:35] as their old body.

[36:36] They're not going to freak out.

[36:37] Like if they're in a robot, that if they mean, it's really easy to be a Monday morning quarterback.

Elliott Kalan

[36:42] Now it would seem obvious that if you look down and saw your own hands, you would get

[36:47] less freaked out than if you looked down and saw robot hands that can feel nothing because

[36:51] they have no nerves on them.

[36:53] It may seem obvious that like your body feels different than a robot body that is also naked.

[36:58] So you don't even feel like clothing on you.

[37:00] So not only are you suddenly in a metal body that feels weird, but you're naked and that's

[37:04] embarrassing in front of strangers.

[37:06] He doesn't seem to, it doesn't, not until now that he realizes like, Oh, brains want

[37:09] to be in their bodies.

[37:10] I get it.

Stuart Wellington

[37:11] Uh huh.

[37:12] So he, he calls up his buddy, his buddy shows up and they, uh, formed the, yeah, they didn't

[37:19] introduce a new buddy for him.

[37:21] No, there's not an extra buddy.

[37:22] He didn't call over uncle Joey to help him with this.

[37:25] So he, and he performs the, he performs the, the brain mapping.

[37:29] They initiate, uh, what is it?

[37:32] Boot the mapping sequence, I think is the exact terms.

[37:36] And, uh, he, he does it to his family and it seems to work.

[37:41] And then he sedates them again.

[37:43] And you're like, what are you just going to keep doing this over and over?

[37:47] And then he goes around the house and he cleans up.

[37:50] We get like a little bit of a montage of him cleaning and also throwing out all of Zoe's

[37:55] things.

Elliott Kalan

[37:55] He de-zoefies the house pretty thoroughly.

Dan McCoy

[37:57] Yeah.

[37:58] The cleanup is, it's not like he's dusting and like, oh, by the way, I'm going to get

[38:02] rid of Zoe's stuff.

[38:03] Like it's, it's expressly like, I, oh wait, I told them that there's no Zoe.

[38:06] The house is full of Zoe.

[38:08] Let's get rid of this Zoe.

Elliott Kalan

[38:09] But like, as somebody who is currently packing up a house just to move, not to gaslight

[38:14] my family into believing we don't have a third child, it takes a lot of effort.

[38:18] So for him to do that in one night is pretty impressive.

[38:21] And his family never asks like, why are there all these empty spaces where the pictures are

[38:25] on the walls?

[38:26] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[38:26] I mean, they just recently moved there too.

[38:28] I think they, they got the impression that they hadn't been there that long.

Dan McCoy

[38:31] But he is also kind of half-assing it in that like, he's literally putting all this Zoe shit

[38:35] in like bags and then just taking it to the curb.

[38:40] Why not like, you know, put it in a dumpster downtown or something like that?

Stuart Wellington

[38:43] No, leave it on the curb.

[38:44] And then there's that one lucky garbage man who's like, oh, cool.

Elliott Kalan

[38:47] All this cool Zoe stuff.

[38:48] I'm a huge Zoe fan.

[38:50] He's risking that a raccoon comes and opens up the bag and his kids find it and are like,

[38:54] who's Zoe?

[38:55] What's all this Zoe stuff doing here?

Stuart Wellington

[38:58] The, yeah, it's, it's weird.

[39:00] And it again brings up the question, why is he doing this?

Elliott Kalan

[39:05] Because he loves his family, Stuart.

[39:07] Yeah, but.

[39:08] Much like your namesake, Stuart Smalley saved his family in the movie, Stuart saves his family.

[39:14] This movie could be called Keanu saves his family except for one of them.

Stuart Wellington

[39:19] Yeah.

[39:20] Which I, first, that'd be a weird choice because his character is not named Keanu.

Elliott Kalan

[39:26] And it's a long title.

[39:26] Replicas is a much punchier title.

Stuart Wellington

[39:28] Yeah, I think so.

[39:29] So he, he cleans the house, he puts his family to sleep and then he gets into bed and he wakes

[39:37] up the next morning in bed alone.

[39:40] We've all been there.

[39:42] Yep.

[39:43] And he goes downstairs and you're like, this is going to be horrifying.

[39:46] But no, it's just his family who are recently awakened from being dead and they are having, uh, having breakfast

[39:53] together.

[39:54] Noisily, lustily.

Dan McCoy

[39:56] It did raise some questions to me.

[39:58] Like, like what was the extent of his memory erasing?

[40:01] Cause like, they're just behaving like it's a normal day.

[40:05] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[40:06] Well, that's, and that comes up a little bit.

[40:07] It comes up a little bit later that he has, they seem to have rebooted back to like literally

[40:13] the day after they died, you know, or even before.

[40:18] Maybe erase that day where they left.

[40:20] Kids are super hungry.

Dan McCoy

[40:21] They must erase the car crash from their memories.

[40:24] Well, not entirely cause that comes up later.

[40:26] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[40:26] So the kids are hungry.

[40:28] They, they want to eat all the pancakes and French toast in the world.

[40:30] Uh, Keanu puts on a great dad performance at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[40:33] He just, he puts on such a show of like the chef.

[40:36] He's like pancakes.

[40:38] Yes.

[40:39] We can have pancakes.

[40:41] What would you like?

[40:42] French toast?

[40:43] French toast.

[40:43] But of course, madame.

[40:45] Da da da.

[40:45] But it's not even like, what would you like?

Dan McCoy

[40:47] French toast.

[40:48] The girl already has a pancake in front of her and she's like, can I have French toast too?

[40:51] And he's like, sure.

[40:52] What?

[40:53] Well, you know, carb, carb city.

[40:54] Let's do it.

[40:55] He's just.

Elliott Kalan

[40:56] We're all running marathons tomorrow.

[40:57] Yeah, he's being real judgy about her food choices.

[40:59] Look, we're not on the paleo diet anymore.

[41:01] Who cares?

[41:02] Just come on.

[41:02] We're all alive.

[41:03] Isn't it wonderful?

[41:04] We're alive.

[41:05] This is.

[41:05] Now, this scene.

[41:07] Let me just be a little pretentious here for the first time in my life.

[41:10] And say that this scene has a real Our Town quality to it.

[41:14] In that Keanu is so excited that his family is alive.

[41:18] But his family.

Stuart Wellington

[41:18] Is that Our Town or Our Town?

[41:20] Like H-O-U-R.

[41:21] Our O-U-R.

[41:23] Like Thornton Wilder's Our Town.

Elliott Kalan

[41:25] Not Our Town.

Stuart Wellington

[41:25] I didn't know if there was a similar thing that I wasn't aware of.

Elliott Kalan

[41:29] No, no.

[41:29] It's a different thing.

[41:30] Where Hyanu is like, oh, this is wonderful.

[41:32] My family.

[41:33] And the family doesn't realize this is a special day that they died and came back.

[41:36] And they are at first barely giving him the time of day.

[41:39] Like they will.

[41:40] It's like, hey, dad.

[41:41] What's up?

[41:42] Anyway, get out of my way.

[41:43] And it was like, oh, that is what it's like to be a dad.

[41:46] Nobody cares about you.

[41:47] That's not true.

[41:48] But you are very easily ignored.

[41:50] But there was this real quality, like when she goes back for her one day on Earth after dying in Our Town.

[41:56] Where she's like, don't you see how wonderful this all is?

[41:59] Don't you see it?

[41:59] And everyone's like, no, whatever.

[42:00] We're just having a regular day.

[42:02] There was kind of a little touch of that in this scene, which I appreciated.

Stuart Wellington

[42:05] Yeah, like the moment where his daughter pours milk into a glass and it's all spoiled and sour because he didn't throw out the old milk while the 17 days, 17 plus days of stuff was going on.

Elliott Kalan

[42:19] Now, you think he would have gotten to that during his epic clean.

[42:22] He might have noticed the smelly milk, but he didn't.

Dan McCoy

[42:25] Yeah, and Alice Eve goes for a run and she seems to be having some sort of physical problems and the kids seem a little uncoordinated.

Stuart Wellington

[42:31] Was it just me or was her performance, it felt a little bit like the director's like, okay, so you're going to, at this point, your character's a clone and you're just going to behave normally.

[42:42] And she's like, okay, I'm a robot.

[42:44] Got it.

[42:45] Yeah, there's a little bit of that.

[42:46] No, no, no.

Dan McCoy

[42:48] There is a little bit of that.

[42:49] But also, I just wanted to say, like, the fact that these new clones are a little uncoordinated also doesn't really pay off.

[42:55] I guess the idea is that they'll get used to the body over time and it's not like they're degenerating or something.

[43:01] But early in the...

[43:02] That would be horrible, Dan.

[43:03] No, but early in the movie, when this gets brought up, that seems like it's a possibility to me.

[43:09] It seems like they may just sort of fall apart.

Stuart Wellington

[43:12] Yeah, this whole scene I was watching for any sign that we might have to send in a clean team to wipe them out.

Elliott Kalan

[43:19] But instead, it mainly manifests as them being unable to pour things into glasses.

Stuart Wellington

[43:23] Yeah.

[43:24] Yeah.

[43:25] So, of course, it's a Saturday.

[43:28] So, Keanu has to go into work because they have to do another test.

[43:33] They have a new donor and he lies and says that the donor isn't ready.

[43:38] Because I think he knows that deep down the mapping wouldn't be complete, right?

Dan McCoy

[43:43] Yeah.

[43:43] Like, I think that...

[43:45] He knows it's not going to work.

[43:47] Yeah, what's going on with the family has awakened his ethical sense a little bit.

[43:50] And he's like, I don't want to put another consciousness through this horror of rejection.

Stuart Wellington

[43:55] And because he also realizes that the only way it'll work is if there's a direct connection between mind and body.

[44:03] And he has a plan to perform the brain thing, the brain scan on himself.

[44:09] And as well as, like, write an algorithm in one night that tricks a brain into thinking a robot body is the same body.

[44:16] Well, at this point, does he know that he...

Dan McCoy

[44:17] I don't know whether at this point he knows that he's going to solve that algorithm soon.

[44:21] I think, like, to me it was like, if anyone's going to go through it, it has to be me.

Elliott Kalan

[44:26] I think that was more it, is that he realizes, I know this is going to fail.

[44:30] I'm just going to send another robot to the body shop because it's going to rip itself apart and be unhappy for a couple minutes.

[44:36] So I'm going to do it on myself because I can't subject anyone else to that.

[44:39] But then I'll try to figure it out.

[44:40] Now, where does...

[44:41] So he needs to shoot an eye needle into his brain to extract his brain info.

[44:45] Where does he decide to do this?

[44:47] Not in his office, which he does not have.

[44:48] It's an open plan workspace.

[44:50] Stuart, where does he do it instead?

[44:53] Well, he does it in the bathroom, which is...

Stuart Wellington

[44:54] At that point, I'm like, so he's doing it in a bathroom.

[44:59] Maybe he's just trying to remove all memories of his daughter Zoe from himself.

[45:04] But that's not true.

[45:05] No, he's doing a self-download.

[45:06] But, like, yeah, he's just a stick...

Elliott Kalan

[45:08] And his boss walks in and takes a pee and is like, things aren't so...

[45:11] Too bad about that one.

[45:12] And Keanu has all this, like, computer stuff on him in a stall.

[45:15] And he's like, yeah, too bad.

[45:17] And his boss is never like, wait, are you sitting on the toilet without your pants pulled down?

[45:21] What are you doing in there?

Dan McCoy

[45:23] Also, if I'm gonna stick...

[45:24] I mean, you're not allowed to ask that as a boss.

[45:27] I guess that's true.

[45:28] If I'm gonna stick a needle in my eye, I'm not gonna do it in Germ Central.

[45:31] That's the other thing.

[45:34] No, no, no, yeah.

[45:36] You would do it in a dumpster or a loading dock or something.

Stuart Wellington

[45:39] Yeah, yeah.

[45:39] Some sort of flop house.

Elliott Kalan

[45:41] Yep.

[45:41] Just go to the town dump, get into a big pile of rats.

Stuart Wellington

[45:46] Yeah, so he has this whole plan.

[45:47] He talks to his buddy Ed about it.

[45:50] And Ed's like, are we gonna go tree shopping later or something?

[45:54] It was pretty great.

Elliott Kalan

[45:57] And I thought that was him just trying to cover for their conversation, but then they do go tree shopping later.

Stuart Wellington

[46:03] Yeah, that's true.

[46:05] So they...

[46:06] He goes home.

[46:07] Mona knows something's wrong.

[46:09] She can't quite figure it out.

[46:11] His daughter, Sophie, is having trouble sleeping.

[46:13] She's having nightmares of the car accident.

Elliott Kalan

[46:17] While he's at work, we get a moment where the family's like, hey, can anyone find their phones?

[46:20] No, I don't know where my phone is.

[46:22] Just to tie up that loose end.

Stuart Wellington

[46:24] Yeah, yeah.

[46:25] Yeah.

[46:25] The true horror is revealed.

[46:27] Their phones are gone.

[46:28] She...

[46:30] So he takes his daughter down into his basement lab and he starts editing her memories to remove the car accident.

[46:37] And I feel like this is a slippery slope, guys.

[46:41] Pretty soon he's gonna be like, hmm, I want to make sure my kids think I'm cool.

[46:46] Like, insert positive memories of Steely Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[46:50] So he's like, he's writing code where he like, can use a surfboard and stuff like that?

Dan McCoy

[46:56] Yeah, yeah.

[46:57] I mean, as long as we're talking about like, overusing science, while I was watching it, I kept thinking it would be funny if his family just kept dying over and over again and he kept having to bring them back multiple times.

[47:08] I mean, that's basically the Venture Brothers at a certain point.

Elliott Kalan

[47:10] Yeah.

[47:11] But also like, just, yeah, when it becomes really, he's like, ugh, she never remembers to turn off the bathroom light when she leaves the bathroom.

[47:22] Let me just pop her into the coder, add that in there.

[47:25] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[47:26] He's like, removing all memory of her high school crush.

Elliott Kalan

[47:31] He's like, that time she caught me looking at the woman who works at the yogurt place, let's just remove that.

[47:37] Diddly.

[47:38] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[47:39] He, uh, his, so Mona comes downstairs and catches him editing his daughter's brain.

[47:45] So.

[47:46] You make it sound wrong, Stuart.

[47:47] A shocking thing for any mother to see.

[47:48] So she calls him out on it and he like, immediately fesses up.

[47:52] Like, he immediately comes clean.

Elliott Kalan

[47:54] I mean, what else is he gonna tell her?

[47:56] That's the, oh, it's a new, it's a new video game we're trying out.

[47:59] You have to be asleep to play it.

[48:01] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[48:03] So, he comes clean and she starts grappling with the enormity of the fact that she is a clone.

[48:09] Yeah.

[48:09] Also her, oh wait, she has a real life.

Dan McCoy

[48:11] He doesn't get clean about everything yet.

[48:13] He doesn't get clean about Zoe.

[48:14] He's just, it's more like, just like, uh, you guys were dead and now you're not dead.

Elliott Kalan

[48:18] Now, this all, this kind of plays off.

[48:19] There's a conversation that she and him had earlier in the movie before she died about whether people are just neurochemistry or whether they have souls.

[48:28] And she thinks people have souls and Keanu Reeves doesn't.

[48:30] Well, he just thinks that people are made up of their, their memories and their chemistry.

[48:34] And it's kind of like, now she has to grapple with that.

[48:36] Does she have a soul or is she just a program?

Stuart Wellington

[48:40] And it would be really cool if she had like an arc where she got to develop that stuff.

[48:44] But that doesn't happen.

Elliott Kalan

[48:44] No.

[48:44] Or an arc where she collects two of every animal and there's a huge flood.

[48:47] That'd be pretty cool.

[48:49] Uh, I don't, I don't buy it.

Stuart Wellington

[48:51] Seems weird.

Elliott Kalan

[48:51] And they would call it Mona's Arc.

Stuart Wellington

[48:54] So then they go Christmas tree shopping.

[48:58] There's a great moment where they're, uh, they see a fake Christmas tree and Mona catches herself where she's like, oh gross.

[49:06] I hate the fake ones.

[49:07] And then she realizes, wait a minute.

[49:09] I'm a fake one.

[49:11] Ah, fake ones.

[49:13] Yep.

[49:14] They head back home.

[49:16] His, uh, they're having dinner.

[49:19] They realize that there's some kind of, that his, his family realizes that the name Zoe means something.

[49:25] It's as subtle as the daughter turns to her dad and is like, hey dad, who's Zoe?

[49:29] Uh huh.

[49:30] And then like plates break, glasses break.

[49:33] Uh huh.

[49:33] And he starts to, he, like then he fesses up immediately to Mona.

[49:37] He explains to Mona what happened, which, uh, goes over about as well as you would expect.

[49:42] There is a great bit where they're fighting in the kitchen and the kids are like, are you guys getting a divorce?

[49:47] And Mona's like, maybe.

[49:48] Keanu Reeves goes, no.

[49:49] And Mona goes, maybe.

[49:51] And I'm like, uh, I mean, okay.

[49:55] Yeah.

[49:55] I mean, that's fair.

[49:57] So their, their lovely family meal is interrupted by his boss, Jones, who takes Keanu out onto their, uh, their backyard.

[50:06] And he reveals that he knows everything.

Dan McCoy

[50:09] And that, yeah, he was like, didn't you think it was a little easy?

[50:12] That you did all this stuff?

Stuart Wellington

[50:13] And you're like, oh yeah, the movie.

[50:14] Yeah, it was pretty easy to do all this stuff.

[50:15] And at that point, I'm like, kind of like my brain's like spinning.

[50:19] And I'm like, wait a minute.

[50:20] Did Jones engineer the tree to fall in the car?

[50:23] That doesn't actually turn out to be the case.

[50:25] No, he actually says, I didn't create that crash.

[50:27] But.

Dan McCoy

[50:28] Uh huh.

[50:28] But it was a great motivator to, like for you to figure this shit out.

Stuart Wellington

[50:31] Yeah.

[50:31] So he, he knows what's going on.

[50:33] He knows about the clones.

[50:34] Uh, and he wants all of, uh, Keanu's research.

[50:37] And also like, hey, have one lovely night with your family before they get, uh, they get wiped out.

[50:42] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[50:42] He, like, he's like, the corporation has to destroy these things.

[50:45] He can't have them running around, which.

[50:47] All right.

[50:47] This is one of the things that I was sort of confused on.

[50:50] It didn't make any sense to me.

[50:51] Because, like, why would anyone find out?

[50:55] Like, and.

[50:56] Why would anyone find out?

Elliott Kalan

[50:57] Because there's a thousand loose ends and they have a missing daughter and all those things.

[51:01] Yeah.

[51:02] Well, there's that.

[51:02] But also.

[51:03] I don't even know how Keanu got another car so easily when their car is at the bottom of a lake somewhere.

[51:08] But if he wanted Keanu's help, like, I feel like.

[51:10] They're a two car family.

[51:12] Yeah.

[51:12] They both work.

[51:13] People would be like, why are you driving around in your wife's car?

[51:15] Uh, you know, we did a car swap.

[51:16] I mean, maybe, maybe they share.

[51:18] Who cares?

Dan McCoy

[51:18] I'm saying if he wants Keanu's help at this point, it's better motivation to say, hey, we'll help you keep your secret than being like, hey, we're going to kill your family.

Stuart Wellington

[51:26] It's extra weird because he clearly already has assassins waiting in the driveway.

[51:30] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[51:30] I mean, he says to Keanu, have one last night with your family.

[51:33] And then he tells his assassins, OK, move in.

[51:36] So I think he's.

[51:37] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[51:37] And the assassins are nice enough to just stand on the porch and have, like, a little conversation with each other.

Elliott Kalan

[51:42] Yeah.

[51:42] Asking about those new T-16s.

[51:44] Have you seen them?

[51:44] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[51:45] So he, uh, he gets the drop on Jones, knocks him out with one of those giant Nintendo cartridges, puts that thing in the microwave, grabs his family.

[51:53] The kids are like, what?

[51:54] And he's like, I'll explain later.

[51:55] They all get in the car.

[51:57] They drive away.

[51:57] The assassins chase him.

[51:59] Uh, the assassins are right on their tail.

[52:01] They're like, what's going on?

[52:02] Oh, wait, we must have a tracking device somewhere in our spine.

[52:05] Mona's like, I'm on it.

[52:06] They go back to Mona's clinic.

[52:08] They lie the kids down and they, uh, jolt him with some electrical juice.

[52:12] With defibrillators.

[52:14] Yep.

[52:14] To knock out the, uh, knock out the tracking device.

Elliott Kalan

[52:16] Now, Dan, you're a.

[52:17] It works like a charm.

[52:17] You're an electrician and a doctor.

[52:20] Would that work?

Dan McCoy

[52:21] Well, this was my thought.

[52:23] I want to get, if these trackers can be knocked out by using a defibrillator on them.

[52:28] Like, why does the movie feel the need to be like, oh, these things are attached to your spine, which would suggest it was a lot harder to get rid of them.

[52:35] Like, they could have just been like, yeah, they put trackers in you.

Stuart Wellington

[52:37] And you would think that they would put the defibrillator on their, like, spine to answer their chest.

[52:42] But, you know, whatever.

[52:43] I didn't write the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[52:44] I mean, if you don't use the defibrillator as recommended, then you have, then it's on you.

[52:49] It's not on the company that made the defibrillator.

[52:51] So that's a liability issue, I think, probably.

[52:53] That's why they had to do that with the kids.

[52:54] But you're right.

Stuart Wellington

[52:55] I was kind of hoping that this defibrillator situation would lead to a Ernest goes to jail type of scenario where after the electricity hits them, they become, like, superhuman and start shooting electricity all over the place.

[53:08] Sure, sure.

Elliott Kalan

[53:09] Electricity and magnetic powers.

[53:10] And they chew on a pen and all the ink gets in their mouth.

Dan McCoy

[53:12] Is that the plot of Shocker, the Wes Craven movie?

Stuart Wellington

[53:15] Yeah, that's where, yeah, that's the same thing.

[53:16] Okay.

[53:17] But, I mean, I felt like this is more of, like, an Ernest crowd than a Shocker crowd.

Elliott Kalan

[53:20] Yeah, it's the origin of Electro, the Spider-Man villain.

[53:23] It is plenty of stuff like that.

Stuart Wellington

[53:25] Wait.

[53:26] I think they—

[53:26] Electro worked at a summer camp?

Elliott Kalan

[53:30] Yeah, Electro worked at a summer camp.

[53:31] And he was later on scared stupid.

[53:32] And he saved the summer camp.

[53:32] He also saved Christmas, and he was scared stupid at one point.

Dan McCoy

[53:35] Yeah.

[53:36] I think at some point he also played basketball or something.

[53:38] I'm not even sure.

[53:38] Oh, that sounds right.

[53:39] Probably.

Elliott Kalan

[53:39] Anyway, he had a friend named Vern who did not know what he meant.

[53:44] I think they're like, the tracker is implanted as they're growing on their spine.

[53:48] I guess that they can't just, like, do the thing where you cut your arm open and pull out a chip.

[53:52] Like, they want to make it seem hard, but then they decided to make it a little bit harder.

[53:56] And by that I mean easier by just zapping them.

[53:59] This is—oh, I want to mention—so there was—this was—when Jones was telling him all that stuff earlier, he goes,

[54:04] You really thought we were a company?

[54:05] We were a company?

[54:06] No one's spending this kind of money to bring dead soldiers back to life.

[54:09] We make weapons.

[54:10] My name isn't even Jones.

[54:12] And the rest of the movie I was like, so what is that guy's name?

[54:14] Like, why did he have a fake name?

Stuart Wellington

[54:16] You're like, I guess I'll have to wait for the credits where they reveal it.

[54:21] So, yeah.

[54:22] And, yeah, it's revealed that they're not a biomedical company at all, that they are a weapons company, yada, yada, yada.

[54:29] So, they—now that the trackers have been deactivated, they decide to go to Ed's boat, the Cheatin' Hussey, as it is called.

[54:38] And there—Kiano gets out and he goes running over to the boat by himself.

[54:42] Big mistake.

[54:43] Huge.

[54:44] He tries to find the keys.

[54:46] Because the boat works on commission.

[54:47] Yep.

[54:48] He can't find the keys and you're like, wait a minute, the only other character in this movie is in on it.

[54:55] So, his—the assassins show up and they drag his family off and he realizes that he's going to have to have a showdown at Bio 9 Research Facility or whatever.

[55:06] So, we have all of the—all of the dominoes are in place.

[55:10] Jones, his family, Ed, a bunch of goons.

[55:14] They're all at the research facility.

[55:16] I don't know why Ed had to be at the research facility.

Elliott Kalan

[55:19] To get his boat keys, obviously.

[55:21] Yeah, clearly.

[55:21] He wasn't going to use them that week.

[55:23] Is he like, look, I could wait until Monday when I get back to work, but I really had big plans for the Cheatin' Hussey this weekend.

[55:28] So, I'm going to need those keys, Jones?

Stuart Wellington

[55:30] He—yeah, he—and he reveals that the reason that Jones knows because Jones found the bodies, the original bodies of Keanu's family that—

Dan McCoy

[55:41] Ed was too sentimental to get rid of, I guess.

Stuart Wellington

[55:44] It's too sentimental or like a normal person who is not comfortable, like, getting rid of dead bodies.

Dan McCoy

[55:49] Yeah, but are you more comfortable, like, stacking them in a closet or something?

Elliott Kalan

[55:53] I assume that he put them in the break room refrigerator with a note on them that said, will, so that nobody else would take them as their family.

[56:03] And he's like, I guess this will keep them fresh.

[56:04] I'll just put it—I've got to move all these other food items out that people put in.

[56:08] And someone was like, hey, you're emptying the refrigerator?

[56:10] Usually they do that on Fridays.

[56:11] And he's like, there's something smelly in here, so I've got to clean it out now even though it's Thursday.

[56:16] They say, okay, can I have that soup right there?

[56:19] And they put their hand in and they almost touch one of the bodies.

[56:22] And he's like, eww!

[56:24] And then they grab the soup and take it out.

[56:25] And he's like, phew!

Stuart Wellington

[56:28] Uh-huh.

[56:29] Yep.

[56:29] So that's the scene.

[56:30] And he wipes a giant thing of sweat off of his forehead.

[56:32] Yeah.

[56:34] So Will shows up.

[56:36] He talks to Jones.

[56:39] Jones attempts to shoot his family.

[56:41] Big mistake.

[56:42] Instead, he shoots Ed, which is sad and doesn't make any—you know, it's pointless like all violence.

[56:48] A little message in here.

[56:50] Yeah.

[56:50] And then Kiana's like, no, I'll do it here.

[56:53] I'll finalize the research.

[56:57] And in the process, he puts on that dope visor I mentioned earlier.

Dan McCoy

[57:00] Before we get to the twist, I just want to say, I think it's funny in all of these science fiction movies or thrillers or whatever,

[57:08] how quickly evil corporations just go to shooting people.

[57:12] Yeah.

[57:13] Like, in real life, there are some pretty evil corporations out there, but they don't just suddenly be like, you know what?

[57:18] Fuck it.

[57:18] I'm going to shoot people in the head.

Elliott Kalan

[57:19] That's what you think.

[57:20] They're like, Thomas Stitt Middleditch, we had you sign an NDA that also says everything goes to arbitration if you have a problem with us.

[57:27] So really, you might as well just take this money, this settlement, instead of telling anybody that we're evil.

[57:32] And he's like, I guess I have to.

[57:34] Psyche, shoot you in the brain.

[57:35] Bam.

Dan McCoy

[57:37] Arbitration is the name of this bullet.

Stuart Wellington

[57:41] That's a long word to write on a bullet.

[57:44] Hopefully it's one of those, like, long, like, antique whaling bullets from the movie Wanted.

Dan McCoy

[57:49] If you can write on a rice, a piece of rice, then you can write arbitration on a bullet.

[57:54] Look, if you can make a boy out of pencils, you can make a pencil out of leaves.

Stuart Wellington

[57:59] A boy out of pencils.

[58:03] You use that argument every time, and you know what?

[58:06] I hate it, but I got to say, you know, I have to allow it.

[58:10] So Will has the cool headset on.

[58:14] He sneakily transfers his consciousness into the robot 345, which we see wake up and bust loose.

[58:23] A goon goes to, like, I don't know, investigate.

[58:26] And just when it looks like everything's gone bad for our hero, the robot 345, powered by the brain of Will, busts in and just starts whipping ass.

[58:39] And Keanu gets his family to safety, and then he's like, wait a minute.

[58:43] I have some business to take care of.

[58:45] And then he goes and he opens up a trunk that he's buried in his basement, and he pulls out all these cool gold coins and these dope pistols in a suit.

[58:53] No, no, I don't think so, too.

[58:55] I think you switched over to the movie.

[58:56] I think that's not that one.

[58:58] Okay, well, then I guess he goes back and he finds Jones being, like, choked out by robot him.

[59:05] And he's like, they make some kind of a weird deal.

[59:09] This scene's kind of strange because they don't explain anything.

Dan McCoy

[59:11] And then he's like...

[59:12] Yeah, it's revealed later on what's going on.

[59:13] But, like, they make a deal for him to survive.

[59:15] He's like, there is another way, which I don't...

[59:17] I kind of didn't buy because Jones was so keen on just killing everybody that, like, he has this change of heart at the end.

Elliott Kalan

[59:23] It was, like, Jones isn't the CEO of the company or anything like that.

[59:27] Yeah.

[59:27] Like, he's just his boss.

[59:28] He goes, you kill me, they'll send other people after you.

[59:31] And he's like, let's make a deal instead.

[59:33] And then they kill him, or he dies.

[59:35] And it's like, their deal turns out...

[59:37] Well, we'll say what it is.

[59:39] Stuart, what happens next?

[59:41] How many days later is it?

Stuart Wellington

[59:43] Uh, what?

[59:43] 17 days later?

[59:45] Mm-hmm.

[59:45] 17 days later?

[59:48] Uh, and we are on a beautiful beach.

[59:50] We see, uh, we see the Foster family running around in the sand.

[59:56] And off in the distance, who's that?

[59:59] Oh, it's Keanu Reeves walking with their daughter, Zoe.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:04] So, I get, like, one of the things, apparently, he went back for was to get Zoe's, like, genetic.

[1:00:11] Like, thing to make a clone.

[1:00:13] Yeah, all the deets, yeah.

[1:00:14] But it's like, I was like, how long has this been?

[1:00:17] Because, like...

[1:00:18] 17 days.

[1:00:19] Is her body still viable?

[1:00:21] Like, it seemed like there was this whole thing about, you know, like, it needed to be...

[1:00:24] I don't know.

[1:00:25] It was a little confusing.

[1:00:26] But, yeah.

[1:00:28] I mean, I guess if it's just...

[1:00:29] If it's just DNA for a clone, they could do it.

[1:00:32] It's not, like, the memory transfer.

[1:00:34] So, I rescind my...

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:35] But I think it would be the memory transfer.

[1:00:36] Because he does have to get her memories to put in her body.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:39] Well, I think he did take her memory before he knew that there were only three pots.

[1:00:44] Oh, I see.

[1:00:44] So, he had it stored.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:45] So, I think that that might not be possible.

[1:00:47] So, he has...

[1:00:47] Somewhere he had a huge disk drive with Zoe's memories on it.

[1:00:50] Yeah.

[1:00:51] One of the mem drives.

[1:00:52] And the mem drives are kind of shaped like brains a little bit.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:55] Now, did the...

[1:00:56] Why does the clone tanks cut their hair to the exact length they were before?

[1:01:00] Well, I'll get to it later.

[1:01:03] The...

[1:01:04] So, yeah.

[1:01:04] We had this cool robot attack.

[1:01:06] Robot beats some ass.

[1:01:07] He makes a deal with...

[1:01:08] Oh, yeah.

[1:01:08] So, we already talked about this.

[1:01:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:01:10] And then we cut to...

[1:01:13] What is it?

[1:01:14] Is it...

[1:01:14] Is it Abu Dhabi?

[1:01:15] It's Dubai.

[1:01:16] Dubai.

[1:01:17] Sorry.

[1:01:18] And we see, you know, a beautiful mansion.

[1:01:21] And we see an old man in a wheelchair pulls into a boardroom.

[1:01:26] He has a bunch of money.

[1:01:27] We see Jones apparently whole and healthy.

[1:01:31] Very hale and hearty.

[1:01:32] Yeah.

[1:01:33] Yeah.

[1:01:33] And he's like, okay, you want to buy yourself a new clone body?

[1:01:37] And then we see Robot Will wearing a suit.

[1:01:41] And he's like, boot mapping sequence.

[1:01:44] And we're like, hell yeah, guitar sting.

[1:01:46] And that's the end of the movie.

[1:01:47] Yeah.

[1:01:48] I mean, it does cut to like a rock and song.

[1:01:50] Obviously, that is the horrifying twist at the end of the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:54] And so, the deal, I guess, is that leave me and my family alone.

[1:01:57] And I'll leave behind the robot version of me.

[1:02:00] And now you can go into business selling new bodies to rich, bad people.

[1:02:04] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:04] Which, yeah, I guess, yeah.

[1:02:08] I mean, I guess the whole thing is he wants his family to be left alone.

[1:02:11] If he doesn't mind the, what I'm assuming to be horrifying negative effects that this technology will have.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:17] It's a total deal with the devil situation.

[1:02:20] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:20] And he's doomed Robot Will to have to perform this stuff.

[1:02:24] And I guess hang out with Jones.

[1:02:26] Like, Jones is like, come out and have a drink.

[1:02:29] Come on.

[1:02:29] And Robot Will's like, I guess I got to hang out with this guy.

[1:02:31] He is my boss.

[1:02:32] Ugh, this is so irritating.

[1:02:34] But I like the idea of, wait, the scene that they should have had where they take Robot Will to a tailor to get him measured for that suit.

[1:02:42] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:43] I mean, Robot Will is doomed in.

[1:02:44] And the tailor's like, I don't normally do suits for mannequins.

[1:02:49] Because they have to pretend that the robot isn't a robot.

[1:02:51] That it's just a mannequin.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:52] Oh, I assumed it would be.

[1:02:53] He's like, he's like, I've never done a suit for a robot before.

[1:02:56] This will be the first thing ever.

[1:02:58] I have to rewrite the rules.

[1:02:59] The inseam is totally different because you don't have a penis.

[1:03:01] There's nothing there.

[1:03:03] What are we going to do for the inseam?

[1:03:04] It's like, I don't know.

[1:03:05] Figure it out, Giuseppe.

[1:03:06] This is, you're the best.

[1:03:07] And now you're going to finally have the dream of a lifetime.

[1:03:10] You're the best.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:13] But we brought the best tailor.

[1:03:15] He was in retirement, but we pulled him back in.

[1:03:16] They caught him.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:17] He was at a cabin.

[1:03:19] He wasn't chopping wood, but he was sewing blankets, like sweaters for trees, knitting sweaters for trees.

[1:03:24] He's like, that part of my life is over.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:25] Uh-huh.

[1:03:26] And then they're like, no, you got to do it.

[1:03:28] So he goes into his basement and he breaks open the concrete and he pulls the giant cool trunk out.

[1:03:32] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:33] It's full of gold coins and a suit that he made for a robot years ago.

[1:03:37] Yeah.

[1:03:38] They told me I was crazy to make this robot suit.

[1:03:41] They told me I was crazy.

[1:03:42] They asked me to make a robot suit.

[1:03:44] So I made a suit that would fit a robot.

[1:03:45] They said no.

[1:03:46] They wanted more like an Iron Man thing that a person would wear to turn them into a robot.

[1:03:50] I said, that's not what I do.

[1:03:51] I'm a tailor.

[1:03:52] I don't make those.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:52] And technically, that's not a robot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:55] It's like Boba Fett.

[1:03:56] Not a robot.

[1:03:57] It's a guy in there.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:58] It's sort of an exoskeleton.

[1:04:02] So we've told the story of replicas.

[1:04:04] Let's go to our final judgments, whether it's a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie kind of like.

[1:04:09] Guys, before we got together today, I thought that my opinion might be more of an uphill climb than I think it may be.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:16] No, I think this is not a serenity situation, Dan, where you fall in love with a movie that is objectively awful.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:22] No, no, no, yeah, I kind of liked this movie.

[1:04:24] Like, obviously, from what we were saying today, like, there are huge plot holes, like weird things about the movie.

[1:04:32] Like robots.

[1:04:33] Those don't exist.

[1:04:35] But when I say, well, I mean, yeah, they do.

[1:04:37] But okay.

[1:04:37] Anyway.

[1:04:40] When I say kind of like, I mean, like, the emphasis is on kind of.

[1:04:45] I'm not saying this is great or anything.

[1:04:47] But it kind of reminded me of, say, you're watching premium cable in the middle of the night in the 90s.

[1:04:55] And a movie, like a little sci-fi thriller comes on, clearly low budget, but it's got a star in it.

[1:05:02] And you watch it, and you're like, you know what?

[1:05:05] I kind of like this.

[1:05:06] This is not so bad.

[1:05:07] It's got some interesting ideas in it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:09] Yeah, you say to the dark corners of your living room while you're watching TV later.

[1:05:14] I say to my cat.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:15] You say, this is not so bad.

[1:05:16] I kind of like it.

[1:05:17] Now, will you let me go?

[1:05:18] No.

[1:05:20] You have to stay here.

[1:05:21] I was going to say the exact same thing, Dan.

[1:05:22] And I kind of liked it, and it reminded me a lot of in the 90s when movies like Screamers and stuff like that were being released.

[1:05:28] Just kind of like these kind of low to middle budget science fiction movies that were usually loosely based off of, like, Philip K. Dick short stories.

[1:05:36] And it would be like, okay, there's a recognizable person in it, and it's not great, but it's not terrible, and it's fine.

[1:05:42] And the one flaw this movie kind of has, which is a big flaw, is that, like, I was really enjoying it up until he cloned his family.

[1:05:47] And once he cloned them, it kind of didn't know what to do with them.

[1:05:51] Like, there's a couple ways to go.

[1:05:52] It could be a pet cemetery thing, and they go bad.

[1:05:54] Or it could be that he has to keep hiding things from them, and they eventually find out.

[1:05:59] But, like...

[1:05:59] Like a French farce.

[1:06:01] Yeah, exactly.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:01] Yeah, lots of door slams.

[1:06:03] But instead...

[1:06:03] Yeah, he has to keep hiding fiancés in other rooms.

[1:06:06] That would be really funny, by the way.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:07] Like, if you wrote a science fiction farce, like, a very, like, 100% old-style farce, but it's based on a science fiction premise.

[1:06:15] I'd like to see that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:15] I mean, I don't know how you would slam all those visit portals.

[1:06:19] Okay.

[1:06:20] Anyway, I'd like to continue.

[1:06:21] I'd like to see that, like, the movie kind of didn't know what to do once they were back.

[1:06:26] And so it went for kind of the laziest thing, which is they're on the run from some kind of evil company.

[1:06:31] But even that is a pretty 90s thing.

[1:06:33] So I enjoyed it.

[1:06:35] This is like a solid, like, two-and-a-half star movie, I would say.

[1:06:38] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:39] Yeah, I think we're all in agreement, guys.

[1:06:42] I'm in the kind of like, yeah, the ending, like, the last third of the movie isn't good, except for the cool robot.

[1:06:50] I mean, I thought the very ending was fun.

[1:06:52] Oh, yeah.

[1:06:52] To see a robot wearing a suit is great.

[1:06:54] I love that.

[1:06:55] Yeah.

[1:06:56] Yeah.

[1:06:57] The – but, yeah, I wish they could have explored, especially since they make a point of having the – you know, Keanu Reeves and Alice Eve have this, like, the only conversation they really have before the car accident is one about, like, you know, the philosophy of a soul.

[1:07:16] Yeah.

[1:07:17] And yet you would – I would hope that, like, after she realizes that she's a clone that she would have some chance to, like, actualize or think about it.

[1:07:26] But that doesn't happen.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:28] No, she's – her character, like, she doesn't get that much to do, and it feels like they were like, oh, well, we'll make it so that she can – it's her idea how to stop those trackers at the end.

[1:07:37] But, like, there's not a lot – none of the characters have much personality except for Keanu Reeves and Thomas Middleditch, and they kind of provide that personality, the two of them.

[1:07:44] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:45] But, you know.

[1:07:45] And I have a lot of affection for the fact that all the outdoor scenes you can hear Cokie frogs chirping.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:52] Yeah, because it reminds you of your many honeymoons.

[1:07:56] Mm-hmm.

S4

[1:08:02] Hi, I'm Allie Gertz.

[1:08:03] And I'm Julia Prescott, and we're the hosts of Everything's Coming Up Simpsons.

[1:08:07] Every episode we cover a different episode of The Simpsons that is a favorite of our special guests.

[1:08:12] We've had guests that are showrunners and writers and voice actors like Nancy Cartwright.

[1:08:16] I got a D minus, I passed!

[1:08:18] And we've also had people that are on the MaxFun network already.

[1:08:21] We've had Weird Al Yankovic on the show.

Jesse Thorn

[1:08:24] I was just struck by how sharp the writing is.

[1:08:26] I mean, that's no surprise because it's The Simpsons, but, I mean, like, you can't say that about a lot of TV shows, particularly ones that at that point had been on the air for 14 years.

S4

[1:08:34] Find us on MaximumFun.org, iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jesse Thorn

[1:08:39] All right.

[1:08:39] Smell you later.

[1:08:43] Going into a Bullseye interview, I know it's somebody who does amazing work, but it's an actual conversation.

[1:08:49] I don't know where it's headed.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:53] Hey, this is the straight talk that you're going to get on this show.

Jesse Thorn

[1:08:56] Does that make sense?

[1:08:57] I feel like I'm in therapy.

[1:08:58] I think I got more out of you than the therapist I went to twice.

[1:09:04] Bullseye.

[1:09:05] Creators you know.

[1:09:06] Creators you need to know.

[1:09:08] Find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:12] Let's move on to, we got a few ads.

[1:09:15] Oh, cool.

[1:09:16] Well, actually, one, only one ad per se, but a couple of Jumbotrons too.

[1:09:21] The first ad, though.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:22] Before we, oh, yeah, should we, after that, should we talk about our live shows coming up or should we do these first?

Dan McCoy

[1:09:27] We always do the ads first, Elliot.

[1:09:29] I have no idea why you felt the need to stop the podcast to ask the question of whether we should do that thing first or the other thing first.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:37] Maybe I am slowly trying to gaslight you into thinking you don't know how the podcast works.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:42] Okay.

[1:09:43] Anyway, with our first ad, the Flophouse is supported in part by Squarespace.

[1:09:50] With Squarespace, you can create a beautiful website to turn your cool idea into a new website.

[1:09:57] That's two websites in the same sentence, but you can do it.

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[1:10:03] Why have it rattle around in your brain where no one can enjoy it?

[1:10:06] No one can click on your brain unless there's Kenny Reeves.

[1:10:09] Yep.

[1:10:10] With your website, you can blog or publish content, sell products and services of all kinds, or, you know, whatever your little heart desires to do on the internet.

[1:10:18] I don't know why I called your heart little, Stuart.

[1:10:20] You're a big-hearted guy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:22] About that.

[1:10:23] Have you ever seen Untamed Heart?

Dan McCoy

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[1:10:44] Stand out with a beautiful website from Squarespace.

[1:10:46] Before I give the offer code, Elliot, is there anything you would like to say about Squarespace?

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:51] I'm very glad you asked.

[1:10:53] I have an idea for a website based on something that happened earlier in this podcast, and I was wondering if Squarespace could help me.

[1:10:59] Now, earlier, Stuart referred to a Keanu, which is not how Keanu Reeves' name is.

[1:11:04] And I wanted to – I had a website idea that I had, and it's really to sell a product, and it's called www.keanokeys.com.

[1:11:15] Wait a minute.

[1:11:16] These are piano keys.

[1:11:18] How did I say it?

[1:11:19] You said Keanu.

[1:11:21] How am I supposed to say it?

[1:11:23] Keanu.

[1:11:24] Oh, okay.

[1:11:25] So, anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:26] But I said Keanu?

[1:11:28] Yes.

[1:11:29] I can confirm.

[1:11:30] I was there.

[1:11:31] So, these are –

[1:11:31] Instead of Keanu.

[1:11:33] Yes.

[1:11:33] Keanu.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:34] So, these are replacement piano keys.

[1:11:39] Each one has the face of Keanu Reeves on it, or alternately, all the keys combined to make one giant picture of Keanu Reeves.

[1:11:46] Who among us has not wanted and dreamed of playing piano with Keanu Reeves' face?

[1:11:51] I know I have ever since I heard Stuart say that.

[1:11:53] And so, just go to Keanu.com, KeanuKeys.com, if Squarespace will allow me to make it.

[1:11:59] So, Dan, do you think it's possible that I can finally achieve my dream of playing piano on Keanu Reeves' face?

[1:12:04] Thanks to Squarespace.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:05] You can.

[1:12:06] Just go to Squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial.

[1:12:10] And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code FLOP to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:16] Dan –

[1:12:16] I said Keanu?

[1:12:18] You said Keanu.

[1:12:19] Now, Dan, I had another idea for a website.

[1:12:21] I just want to –

[1:12:21] Oh, boy.

[1:12:22] It's called – based on the idea of this movie, it's called www.erasemysibling.com.

[1:12:27] Now, we all know what it's like.

[1:12:28] You've got a sibling.

[1:12:29] They're either stealing the spotlight or they're always irritating you.

[1:12:32] Why don't you pull a Zoe and erase them from everybody's memories with erasemysibling.com?

[1:12:38] Let's say that sibling's name is David.

[1:12:39] Just to pick a name.

[1:12:41] Let's just pick a name out of nowhere.

[1:12:42] Let's just call him David Kalin.

[1:12:44] Let's say you want to erase him because you are tired of hearing about what the Mets did in 1987.

[1:12:52] Just go to erasemysibling.com.

[1:12:54] Thanks, Squarespace.

[1:12:54] Offer code FLOP.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:55] But it's pronounced Keanu?

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:58] Keanu.

[1:12:59] Keanu.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:00] Okay, if you say so.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:02] Elliot, do you have a Jumbotron you want to read?

[1:13:04] I do have a Jumbotron I would love to read.

[1:13:06] So, this Jumbotron is a special personal message.

[1:13:09] It's from Josh to Abby, spelled A-B-I, and the message is, you're the castle freak to my Stuart, the singing in the rain to my Elliot, and the random movie on a plane to my Dan.

[1:13:20] I love you through the good bad, the bad bad, and all the moments we kind of like.

[1:13:24] You're kicking ass as a husband.

[1:13:26] I'm so proud of who you are and how you've lived your life for another year.

[1:13:29] Happy birthday, Foxy.

[1:13:31] So that's really nice.

[1:13:32] Maybe it's Abby.

[1:13:34] I apologize if I mispronounce that name.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:37] Let's have another Jumbotron for the Jumbotrain.

[1:13:40] Keep that thing a-rolling.

[1:13:43] Oh, okay.

[1:13:44] Wait, so it's the Jumbotrain?

[1:13:47] It's a new thing I'm trying.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:48] So is it a larger than average train?

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:51] Yeah, it's a larger than average train that can accommodate Jumbotrons on it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:55] Okay, because Jumbotrons are just messages.

[1:13:57] You could just put them in.

[1:13:58] I mean, trains carry mail.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:00] Maybe it's a train for the elephant Jumbo.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:03] Oh, a circus train.

[1:14:07] I like it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:08] In any case, this message is for Rebecca.

[1:14:11] This message is from Lizzie.

[1:14:14] Happy birthday, my dude.

[1:14:16] Many snortle returns.

[1:14:18] You're now the age I was when we met.

[1:14:20] Fucked up or what?

[1:14:22] Thank you for letting me share in your impeccable taste, amazing art, and chill vibes.

[1:14:29] I'm so glad we're friends.

[1:14:31] To the tune of Super Freak.

[1:14:34] He's a castle freak.

[1:14:35] Castle freak.

[1:14:36] He's castle freaky.

[1:14:38] Yow.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:39] Wow.

[1:14:40] Stuart, you brought a lot of flavor to that one.

[1:14:41] I appreciated that.

[1:14:42] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:43] Well, that's what they get when they get a Stuart reading that Jumbotrain.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:47] That's that special taste.

[1:14:49] Hey, Elliot.

[1:14:50] Yes.

[1:14:50] Why don't you tell us about the live shows?

[1:14:52] And maybe we'll mention them again at the end of the show just for people who skip the ads.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:58] Oh, that's a great idea.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:59] Or people who just like listening to the last, like, couple minutes of all podcasts.

[1:15:04] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:05] So, I'll have to mention, so this episode is being released on a day of a show, right, Dan?

[1:15:11] Uh, yes.

[1:15:13] This is on, so today, if you're listening to this on the day this is released, Saturday, June 8th, we are performing tonight in Portland, Oregon at Revolution Hall.

[1:15:21] We're going to be talking about the movie Holmes and Watson.

[1:15:23] Oh, boy.

[1:15:24] I've heard it's a great movie.

[1:15:25] I'm super excited about it.

[1:15:26] I can't wait to see how they screw up Dan McCoy's favorite fictional character.

[1:15:30] This is, yeah, this is going to make me very angry.

[1:15:34] Yeah, so Dan will be really mad.

[1:15:35] So, that's tonight, if you're listening to this, the day of release, Saturday, June 8th at Portland, Oregon Revolution Hall.

[1:15:41] But we've got some other shows coming up in July.

[1:15:43] On July 13th, that's a Saturday.

[1:15:45] It's one day before my brother's birthday until I erase him on EraseMySibling.com.

[1:15:48] July 13th.

[1:15:49] We're in Minneapolis at the Parkway.

[1:15:52] Minneapolis.

[1:15:53] It's going to be really exciting.

[1:15:54] I don't know what movie we're doing yet, but I've been looking forward to doing Minneapolis for a long time.

[1:15:58] Then, in September, Saturday, September 28th, we're going to be in Boston at WBUR City Space.

[1:16:04] Two shows.

[1:16:04] The 7 p.m. is sold out, but there's still some tickets available for the 945 show.

[1:16:09] That's September 28th in Boston.

[1:16:11] If you're over in Boston, a real Bostonian, if you will.

[1:16:14] I don't know why I said that like it's a joke.

[1:16:15] It's just what they call people from there.

[1:16:17] We'll be there.

[1:16:18] And then finally, in the fall.

[1:16:20] If you're tired of eating beans, come on down.

[1:16:22] If you're tired of eating beans.

[1:16:23] I mean, I don't know how you could be tired of eating beans.

[1:16:25] They're delicious.

[1:16:26] Yeah, and you can have them for breakfast, lunch, dinner, everything.

[1:16:29] And they make you fart, which is hilarious.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:32] It's like the old saying, if you're tired of eating beans, you're tired of life.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:35] Yep, that's what I always say.

[1:16:38] And then finally, October 12th, we're going to be back in Los Angeles, my new hometown, back at the Regent Theater.

[1:16:43] This time, with a twist.

[1:16:45] Stuart will be with us.

[1:16:46] Hooray!

[1:16:47] Unless Stuart somehow injures himself again.

[1:16:49] But hopefully not.

[1:16:50] We've hired a team of thugs to surround him at all times to keep him safe.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:54] Yep.

[1:16:55] To keep punching my back back into the right shape.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:58] And so, just to recap, that's tonight, June 8th in Portland, if you're listening to this on the day of release.

[1:17:06] Then we're in Minnesota, Minneapolis, that is, on July 13th.

[1:17:09] Then we're in Boston, Massachusetts on September 28th.

[1:17:12] And finally, Los Angeles, California on October 12th.

[1:17:15] That's all the live shows we've got scheduled for now.

[1:17:17] I don't know.

[1:17:18] Maybe there'll be more later.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:19] Okay.

[1:17:20] There are a couple things I want to say before we get through the business section of the show.

[1:17:25] As you hear this, the submission period for the t-shirt contest will be over.

[1:17:31] I actually hadn't talked to the guys about how we're going to pick a winner, but here's what I suggest to you.

[1:17:36] I would say that the three of us together pick maybe three to six options that are our favorites.

[1:17:43] I'm glad we're working through this on air.

[1:17:45] And then allow the people to vote on those options.

[1:17:49] Cool.

[1:17:50] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:50] I'm just glad we got that many submissions.

[1:17:52] I hadn't heard about this for a while.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:54] Oh, we got a ton of submissions.

[1:17:55] I was worried there'd be no submissions.

[1:17:57] I will put them in a...

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:59] You don't know Dan's always bragging about his submissions.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:01] I'll put them all in a shared drive so you guys can see them.

[1:18:03] I know Dan was talking about his nocturnal submissions.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:05] Was that the same thing?

Dan McCoy

[1:18:07] Uh-huh.

[1:18:07] Ooh.

[1:18:08] Talk about a sleeper old.

[1:18:11] So we will need a little time on our own to pick out the short list.

[1:18:16] So that poll will not be up right away, but keep watching the website.

[1:18:20] And when it's up, we'll say on the air.

[1:18:23] Cool.

[1:18:23] So that's one thing.

[1:18:24] Another thing, I don't...

[1:18:25] There's no need to belabor this for a long time, but I just wanted to let people know,

[1:18:29] I am aware that this podcast has not always had the best audio.

[1:18:34] Mm-hmm.

[1:18:34] Impossal.

[1:18:36] It should be no surprise to anyone that I'm first and foremost not an audio engineer.

[1:18:42] And the good people at MaxFun were kind enough to offer a little help.

[1:18:47] So from now on, a lot of the engineering job is going to go over to them.

[1:18:51] Hopefully that'll make the podcast sound better.

[1:18:53] Yep.

[1:18:54] It'll take the least fun part of doing the podcast off of my plate, so I'll be happier.

[1:18:59] And maybe everyone listening will be happier going forward.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:02] I mean...

[1:19:02] That's right.

[1:19:03] They're going to get rid of Stuart and replace me with some kind of a robot.

[1:19:06] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:06] So the important point is, if the sound is not good on an episode, no longer complain

[1:19:11] to me.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:12] Wow.

[1:19:12] Dan, way to throw under the bus the people who are helping us out of the goodness of their

[1:19:16] hearts.

[1:19:16] I did not say complain to them.

[1:19:18] You haven't even started yet.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:19] I did not say complain to them.

[1:19:20] I'm saying, stop bothering me.

[1:19:22] Yeah.

[1:19:22] So who are they supposed to complain to?

[1:19:23] Maybe just don't complain in general.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:25] Okay.

[1:19:26] Yeah.

[1:19:26] Shake your fists at the heavens.

[1:19:27] Two things.

[1:19:28] One, I'm very excited about this turn.

[1:19:30] But two, I'm kind of disappointed I'll no longer have the fun experience of riding the

[1:19:36] in my car while I review an episode as Dan and Stuart's voices jump from too loud to do

[1:19:42] quiet even though they're sitting literally a foot away from each other.

[1:19:45] I'm going to miss that.

[1:19:45] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:46] Well, I, you know, I rock back and forth.

[1:19:49] I, like, I have a, like a sandwich place just out of reach that I'm, like, leaning back

[1:19:54] to take bites out of.

[1:19:55] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:56] It's hanging from a fishing line from the ceiling so you can just take bites without picking

[1:20:00] it up with your hands.

[1:20:01] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:01] I am very thankful to Maximum Fun for taking this off my plate and I'm very grateful and

[1:20:07] thank you to the editor who's listening for the first time this episode.

[1:20:12] Thanks.

[1:20:13] But now I think we can move on, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:16] Yeah.

[1:20:17] I mean, can we move on?

[1:20:19] Yeah, let's just move on.

[1:20:20] Dan, you seemed like you still had some emotional stuff that you wanted to deal with.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:23] No, no, no.

[1:20:24] I just wanted to, I didn't want to steamroll Stu if he had something.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:27] If I had some kind of cool business?

[1:20:29] Yeah.

[1:20:29] Sadly, I don't.

[1:20:30] Okay.

[1:20:30] Guys, you know the life of a podcasting bartending bar owner is a quiet one.

[1:20:37] That old thing.

[1:20:39] You know, the normal 9 to 5, that's 9 p.m. to 5 a.m.

[1:20:44] Okay.

[1:20:47] Anyway.

[1:20:49] I love that you said that as if it was super cool, but it's like, that sounds terrible to

[1:20:52] me.

[1:20:53] I guess the moral of this is-

[1:20:54] I guess you don't like hanging out with cool vampires.

[1:20:58] I don't, but-

[1:20:59] I guess let's definitely move on now to letters.

[1:21:03] Oh, actually that-

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:03] No, I'll waste a bunch of time if you want me to.

[1:21:06] Okay.

[1:21:06] I should apologize this episode.

[1:21:07] I introduced three new characters last episode, and I haven't introduced any in this one,

[1:21:11] so I think I'll steal from my son.

[1:21:12] Stuart mentioned vampires.

[1:21:14] Yesterday, Sammy invented a character, Evil Sammy, who drinks blood.

[1:21:17] So, maybe I'll-

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:19] Is he a vampire or does he just drink blood for the iron?

[1:21:21] That was hard to tell.

[1:21:23] Uh-huh.

[1:21:24] I think it would also make a human pretty sick if they were just drinking blood.

[1:21:27] Is that the-

[1:21:28] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:28] Is he evil in other ways, or does he just drink blood?

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:31] Nope, just the blood drinking.

[1:21:33] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:35] Yeah.

[1:21:35] So, okay.

[1:21:36] Letters from listeners like you.

[1:21:38] The first letter is from Lowell.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:41] Who writes?

[1:21:41] That's a town.

[1:21:42] That's not a person.

[1:21:43] It's a town in Massachusetts.

[1:21:45] The whole town got together and wrote us a letter.

[1:21:47] I like to think it arrived on a huge piece of paper that they wrote with a giant quill.

[1:21:52] Sure.

[1:21:52] And everyone in town helped to move it.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:55] This first letter goes like this.

[1:21:57] A bunch of end-of-year lists included Ariana Grande's Thank You Next as not only one of the best songs of the year, but some kind of game-changing announcement of musical genius.

[1:22:09] I played it, and all I heard was someone repeating, you are too old.

[1:22:12] We need that food you're eating.

[1:22:14] Get out of the way.

[1:22:15] Mm-hmm.

[1:22:16] I realize that isn't a movie, but are there films that made you feel like you've outlived your usefulness?

[1:22:21] For me, it might be the Wachowski Speed Racer.

[1:22:23] I fully expect Elliot to say, I'm a father, so I'm still useful.

[1:22:27] I'm not so...

[1:22:28] I'm not, so I'm really waiting on Dan Stewart's answers.

[1:22:32] All asinine humor aside, thank you for what you do.

[1:22:36] Lowell.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:37] I will say, as a father, as I mentioned earlier, you are an obstacle in between your children and whatever they want at that moment.

[1:22:43] So you feel very useless a lot of the time.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:46] Yeah.

[1:22:46] And also, you have to die off for them to thrive.

[1:22:52] Elliot doesn't know what to do with that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:53] No, that's the most horrifying thing you could say to me, because I want nothing more than for them to thrive, but I'm not ready to shuffle off this mortal coil just yet.

[1:23:02] Stuart, what should I do?

[1:23:03] How do I square this circle?

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:05] I don't know, man.

[1:23:06] This is hilarious.

[1:23:10] I don't know.

[1:23:11] I mean, Speed Racer is kind of like eating a giant bowl of sugary cereal.

[1:23:16] I haven't revisited in a while, and maybe I should.

[1:23:18] I mean, for like...

[1:23:20] I'm trying to think of movies that make me feel old, but there's a lot of...

[1:23:24] I mean, there's a lot of television that makes me feel old, and I don't know.

[1:23:30] Like, there's a lot of other entertainment feels like if I had encountered it when I was a teenager, like...

[1:23:36] What?

[1:23:37] Like the Umbrella Academy TV show.

[1:23:39] If I'd encountered it when I was a teenager, I would be like, whoa, this is amazing and groundbreaking.

[1:23:43] But as an adult, I'm like, well, I've seen all these tropes done a million other times and better, so I don't need this in my life.

[1:23:52] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:53] I mean, it might be because I am, at heart, very immature, but I feel like...

[1:23:59] No.

[1:24:00] I feel like I remain...

[1:24:01] Come on.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:02] No, Dan is like a 75-year-old baby.

[1:24:04] He's like the combination of a lot of elements of an old man and a child.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:09] Yeah, that's true.

[1:24:10] But I feel like my brain remains young, particularly around entertainment.

[1:24:14] I do feel like I'm open to just, you know, staying with whatever new thing comes along.

[1:24:20] But there are movies like...

[1:24:21] The best I could come up with is something like Michael Bay's Transformers movies, where I look at it and I'm like, I don't know.

[1:24:28] Maybe someone with a younger brain than mine finds some sort of reason in this visual madness that is going on.

[1:24:36] This completely disjointed, cutting, no sense of spatial geography, all that stuff.

[1:24:43] Like, maybe that works for someone who grew up with a faster pace in entertainment than I did.

[1:24:50] I don't know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:51] Yeah.

[1:24:52] People with brains that are able to make logical leaps that the story doesn't allow or afford.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:57] I think it's...

[1:24:58] There aren't...

[1:24:59] Yeah, similarly, I've never been on the pulse of popular entertainment, to be honest.

[1:25:04] No.

[1:25:05] Well, the fact that...

[1:25:05] But based on your movie recommendations.

[1:25:07] Exactly.

[1:25:08] I mean, to be honest, the fact that the Avengers movies are so huge makes me feel much more of the moment than I was for most of my life.

[1:25:15] But if I feel old when I think about how old the movies that I grew up with are, when I think about, like, how Ghostbusters is a 35-year-old movie, like, it makes me feel pretty old.

[1:25:26] But to be honest, it's like, the music doesn't, and some of the other stuff.

[1:25:30] But when I watch...

[1:25:31] This is also Marvel movies, but, like, when I watched Guardians of the Galaxy in the theaters for the first time, my reaction to it was like, oh, this is a really fun movie.

[1:25:39] Did they have to swear so much?

[1:25:41] Like, did there have to be so much shooting?

[1:25:43] And that's when I knew I had gotten a little old.

[1:25:45] It was when he goes, we're the Guardians of the Galaxy, bitch.

[1:25:48] And I was like, no.

[1:25:49] That was an unearned swear.

[1:25:50] I'm sorry, young man.

[1:25:51] That was on a good list.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:52] You're like, I can't believe that Freddy Krueger got a spot in this team, but I guess he is a misfit.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:57] Or how in Avengers Endgame, they say shit a lot more than I thought they would.

[1:26:01] And I was like, all right, well, I guess that's okay to say in your movies now.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:06] Yeah, you looked around to make sure your parents weren't in the back to yell at you for watching this movie.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:10] And there's that weird part where Captain America talked about fucking Thanos in the ass, and it was like, wow, Captain America.

[1:26:16] You didn't even swear at the beginning.

[1:26:18] I mean, he's pushed to extremes, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:19] I didn't think it was extreme when he said it, but I thought it was extreme when they showed it on screen.

[1:26:24] Not that I disapprove, but just in a PG-13 movie.

[1:26:27] To have any sort of, I mean, to see penetration in a PG-13 movie, especially between Captain America and the villain of the movie.

[1:26:33] I mean, the fact that it was not done in a hostile way, but in a moment of intimacy between them, that it was a moment of genuine warmth and loving.

[1:26:41] I thought it was really nice that Thanos made himself vulnerable, and they both received pleasure from it.

[1:26:47] I thought it was a really positive message, but I just thought it was strange to see it in such graphic, you know, extreme visceral detail on camera.

[1:26:54] It's natural, but he is an alien.

[1:26:56] The scene was so long, like it went on for about 16 minutes.

[1:26:59] At a certain point, all I could think about was how much computer rendering they had to do to show all of the little pimples and things on Thanos' butt.

[1:27:06] So like, at a certain point, it lost its visceral appeal to me.

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:11] I mean, the way you describe it, it sounds like it was more visceral than you expected.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:14] I mean, in some ways, I mean, it was more visceral in a certain point where I got into it, and I was like, yeah, yeah, you know what?

[1:27:18] I'm glad to see them expressing an emotion other than anger at each other, to express arousal, to express consensual pleasure, to express mutual kind of like, it doesn't have to be love, but mutual sort of like intimacy in that way.

[1:27:33] But to happen in the middle of the big fight scene at the end was a little weird, just for pacing purposes.

[1:27:37] Yeah.

[1:27:38] Well, that went on for a while.

[1:27:39] I wanted to mention...

[1:27:41] Dan, you introduced the idea.

[1:27:42] New editor through the paces.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:46] I wanted to mention in the context of this letter, I think I might have said it on the podcast before, but it's a funny story, so I like it.

[1:27:54] Okay, better pull up a bag of popcorn.

[1:27:57] Talking about being old and entertainment, I just remember the time when my grandfather walked into the room when my brothers and I were watching Beetlejuice on TV, and he walked in...

[1:28:09] The movie or the cartoon show?

[1:28:11] The movie.

[1:28:11] Okay.

[1:28:12] He walked in, watched about four minutes of the movie, said, this just seems like so much foolishness to me, and walked out.

[1:28:21] And you know what?

[1:28:22] I can't argue with that, but the foolishness is the point, I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:26] Now I imagine that your grandfather was like, and maybe this is true, I don't know, he's like an old country parson.

[1:28:31] Like, just a...

[1:28:31] He has a...

[1:28:32] He was a minister, yes.

[1:28:33] He was.

[1:28:34] He's like a Puritan with a hat with a buckle on it, and he's like, so much foolishness.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:39] I mean, it's not that far off.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:42] But that also reminds me of when Hedwig and the Angry Inch came out on DVD, and my mom was like, have you seen this movie?

[1:28:48] I was like, yeah, I thought it was great.

[1:28:49] And she started watching it, and she said, I stopped it partway through.

[1:28:52] That movie's for younger people.

[1:28:54] And I was like, all right.

[1:28:55] Okay, interesting review, Mom.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:58] This next letter is from Malin, who writes,

[1:29:03] Dear Original Peaches, I started listening to the podcast exactly three years ago, just before taking my A-levels and leaving school.

[1:29:10] Happy anniversary!

[1:29:11] From the UK, I assume.

[1:29:13] I finally finished your...

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:15] Oh, wow, real Sherlock Holmes on that case.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:17] I finally finished your back catalog the night before my final exam at university.

[1:29:23] Another clue.

[1:29:24] Oh, wow.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:26] The noose is tightening around this culprit.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:30] I'm now beginning to think about finding a real person job, and finding it pretty difficult,

[1:29:35] partly because I'm not very organized, and partly because I don't really know what I want to do yet.

[1:29:40] I wanted to ask, what were your first jobs after graduating college?

[1:29:43] You all seem to have cool careers now.

[1:29:46] How soon did you decide what you wanted to do?

[1:29:49] Is it okay to take a boring or unambitious job for a few years,

[1:29:52] or should I be trying to start my dream career immediately?

[1:29:55] Sorry for treating you like a careers advice service.

[1:29:58] To add a movie-related question, what's your favorite movie set in a workplace?

[1:30:03] I'm talking about movies that are primarily about the job rather than just have an office in them.

[1:30:07] Thanks for helping a confused young woman through some confusing years.

[1:30:10] I love the show Malin.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:13] Does Brazil count as a movie set at a workplace?

[1:30:16] Kind of, yeah.

[1:30:17] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:17] For the purposes of this question, let's say yes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:19] Then I'd say maybe Brazil and maybe the apartment.

[1:30:21] Even though it's called the apartment, it's about his job more than anything else.

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:25] I would probably say, I don't know, nine to five.

[1:30:28] Yeah.

[1:30:29] Because it's still eerily, like, prescient.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:32] And I missed that part of the email because I was focused on the career advice, so I have nothing.

[1:30:37] But let's move on to the career thing.

[1:30:39] I would say...

[1:30:40] Yeah.

[1:30:41] Let's just say chairman of the board for Day in Starring Care of Time.

[1:30:46] By the way, if you have not seen Norm MacDonald talking about chairman of the board on Conan, look that up.

[1:30:53] It is maybe the funniest thing that has ever happened on that show.

[1:30:57] Yeah.

[1:30:57] I would say don't...

[1:30:59] I would like to give the message, don't worry about it over much right now.

[1:31:04] Like, don't stretch yourself out over much.

[1:31:06] Like, be ambitious.

[1:31:08] But I, after school, did not immediately know what I wanted to do.

[1:31:14] First, I went up to Minneapolis and I was up there basically just because a friend of mine from college needed a roommate.

[1:31:21] And I'm like, why the hell not?

[1:31:22] I've got no plans.

[1:31:23] Was up there for a little while.

[1:31:25] Then I went to graduate school because I had thought I was going to be a film director.

[1:31:29] I had wanted to do that for years.

[1:31:31] Went into school for that.

[1:31:32] Dropped out because I realized I actually did not want to do that.

[1:31:35] Came to New York at the time with my fiancée because she had work up here.

[1:31:40] And I thought maybe I would act during the course of that.

[1:31:44] I realized that while I was not a bad actor and if I dedicated myself to it, maybe I could make something of myself.

[1:31:50] It was not my forte.

[1:31:52] I was much better at writing and specifically comedy writing.

[1:31:55] I sort of drifted into that.

[1:31:57] That said, once I realized that's what I wanted to do, even though I was taking very menial jobs to make money,

[1:32:04] I was doing a lot of comedy at night and, frankly, while I was on the job.

[1:32:12] So, I don't know.

[1:32:14] That describes Dan's workplace behavior pretty accurately, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:17] I mean, judging by his Twitter feed and the voluminous contributions to it, qualities, I will not judge right now.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:25] You worked at the same show.

[1:32:27] You realized that there are periods of intense work and periods of a lot of downtime.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:31] Yeah, sure.

[1:32:32] A time when you could be working on pitches, maybe wandering into people's offices to see if you could help out.

[1:32:37] Maybe moving props around.

[1:32:39] Maybe writing a side project with Hallie, which is what you did.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:43] I assumed you were working really hard on some kind of lucid dreaming-based project.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:48] I mean, Dan, to be honest, while I was a writer at The Daily Show, I was also writing a weekly newspaper column,

[1:32:53] working on a side project with Hallie, writing a Spider-Man comic book, and a bunch of other things.

[1:32:57] So, I can't tell you, hey, don't do other stuff at your job.

[1:33:01] Just maybe something more productive than Twitter.

[1:33:03] That's all I'm saying.

[1:33:04] I help run this fucking podcast.

[1:33:06] That's what I do.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:07] Now, Elliot, do you have advice?

[1:33:11] Stuart, do you have advice?

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:12] Yeah, I mean, when I finished school, I finished with an English degree, and I kind of hoped to write and draw my own comics.

[1:33:23] And when I moved to New York shortly after school, and I got a gig that I thought was just going to be a temporary thing,

[1:33:31] and it ended up being something that I enjoyed a lot more and became kind of passionate about.

[1:33:35] And that kind of took over my life for a while, even though it was retail, and retail is brutal.

[1:33:41] But yeah, I've been very lucky.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:43] That was Warhammer, right?

[1:33:44] That's what you're referring to.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:45] Yeah, I was working for Games Workshop.

[1:33:47] And then, and I realized that retail kind of isn't for me, and I was really lucky to have an opportunity to break into neighborhood bartending.

[1:33:56] And I feel like that fit my skill set and my mix of love of responsibility and lack of responsibility.

[1:34:07] And it, yeah, and I've been doing that for a while, and I've been lucky to be surrounded, like, in all parts of my professional career.

[1:34:14] I've been lucky to surround myself with much more competent people, so I can just kind of coast along, baby.

[1:34:23] That's good advice.

[1:34:24] And that's afforded me many, and that's afforded me a lot of really cool opportunities.

[1:34:29] That my advice is, if you have an opportunity that seems similar to something you'd like to do, but you haven't ever tried it, try it out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:39] Yeah, I have a, my career path, well, people are familiar with it after they made that movie about me, but it's called.

[1:34:45] And yours was much more direct than.

[1:34:47] It's called Boy on the Go, the Elliot Kalins, right?

[1:34:49] I thought it was Munchies.

[1:34:53] It was Critters.

[1:34:54] They made Critters about me.

[1:34:56] Oh, wow.

[1:34:57] I always knew I wanted to be a writer since I was about 12 or 13, or even a little younger.

[1:35:01] So, like, I went to school for writing, and I was always pointed like a missile towards that job, but it took me a while to get there.

[1:35:08] I mean, in the long scheme of things, not that long, but I started The Daily Show right after college as a production assistant and was lucky enough that every time I was getting, feeling like my, I was in a rut and I had to leave and go do something else, they would offer me a different job or I would apply for a different job and get moved up a little bit.

[1:35:28] So mine is a special case in that, like, I always knew what I wanted to do, and I still want to do that.

[1:35:33] I thought I would write for movies.

[1:35:34] Maybe that'll happen sometime.

[1:35:36] I don't know.

[1:35:36] But, so I would say is, like, if you don't know exactly what you want to do, that's totally okay.

[1:35:42] And to take a menial job or just a job you don't care about in the meantime is totally fine because the number one thing you need to do is make enough money to provide yourself with food and shelter.

[1:35:54] Like, that's the number one most important thing, and you should not lose sight of that.

[1:35:58] And there is something valuable to just having a job that allows you to live at the level of comfort that you want to live at.

[1:36:05] But also, if you have a job you don't care about, it opens up so much of your brain space to really think about the other things you want to do and what you, what's better for you to be involved in outside of your work activities that might scratch that itch more and help you explore and find out what you really want to do.

[1:36:21] And like Stuart was saying, any opportunity that comes up that seems like you might be into it, you might as well go ahead and take it or at least try it.

[1:36:29] And maybe that will take you to the place where you're like, oh, this is what I want to do.

[1:36:33] This is what I'm really satisfied by and also that I can hopefully make a career out of.

[1:36:37] And it's like if you have a great ambition and a compulsion to do something creative, then you should try to make a living out of that.

[1:36:45] But if you don't, then try out lots of different things.

[1:36:48] Like I know lots of people who have had many multiple different types of jobs and eventually they find one they really like a lot and there's nothing wrong with that.

[1:36:57] Like there's no failure in being at a job for a few years and deciding this isn't what I want and trying something else.

[1:37:03] Don't think that you need to start your career right now or you'll never be successful and you've wasted any time because you won't have.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:11] So is that good practice for when you have a have that important conversation with Sammy?

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:17] Oh, very much so.

[1:37:18] I've started having that conversation with him a little bit where I'm like, Sammy, I want you when you grow up.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:23] I want you to know you want to drive a garbage truck.

[1:37:25] No, not anymore.

[1:37:25] You're going to be a podcaster like daddy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:27] Yep.

[1:37:27] You got to fill my shoes.

[1:37:29] That's it.

[1:37:29] And he's like, I don't want to be on your podcast.

[1:37:31] And I'm like, you're going to say some stuff.

[1:37:32] But he's told me already what jobs he wants when he grows up.

[1:37:35] He wants to be a scientist, a cab driver, an architect and someone who takes things out of boxes and puts them on shelves in a grocery store.

[1:37:44] So those are his four career options.

[1:37:46] Well, the good thing is he's giving himself a wide span.

[1:37:50] And I've said to him many times, as long as you're happy with what you're doing and supporting yourself, that's all I care about.

[1:37:55] As long as you don't go into investment banking or hedge fund management or anything else where you are slowly eating away at the things that make life livable for most of the people in the world.

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:07] Or you're the person who makes those 1877 Cash Now commercials or some bullshit.

[1:38:14] Cars for kids and stuff like that.

[1:38:15] Yeah.

[1:38:16] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:17] Oh, no.

[1:38:17] I told him.

[1:38:18] I'm like, Sammy, reverse mortgages are something you should go into.

[1:38:20] You basically steal old people's houses and then they have to pay you to live in them.

[1:38:25] And then if they don't pay enough, you kick them out and you sell that house to somebody else.

[1:38:28] And he's like, isn't that mean?

[1:38:29] And I'm like, it's mean of the old people to make an agreement that they can't live up to the terms of.

[1:38:34] Yeah.

[1:38:34] Guys, William Devane tells me I should get into gold.

[1:38:37] Should I get into gold?

Dan McCoy

[1:38:37] Well, gold has never been worth zero.

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:40] Yeah.

[1:38:40] The Roger Moore movie, gold?

[1:38:42] Yes.

[1:38:42] With the most amazing title sequence?

Dan McCoy

[1:38:45] Let's move on to the next letter.

[1:38:46] It's from Dan, last name withheld.

[1:38:48] I've been meeting.

[1:38:48] Wait, Dan McCoy?

[1:38:49] What?

[1:38:50] Yes.

[1:38:50] This has been my inbox for a while.

[1:38:53] I've been meaning to get to it.

[1:38:54] It slipped my mind last time.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:55] It's like, hey, guys, who do you think is going to win the 2016 election?

[1:38:58] I've got some ideas about it.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:00] Oh, Dan.

[1:39:01] Oh, sorry, Dan.

[1:39:02] Dan says, on a fateful day in September, the year 2011, I took a stand for the truth.

[1:39:09] I never asked to be the voice of America's conscience, but when I heard a drunk man on a podcast

[1:39:14] erroneously claim that a freak ripped off his own ding dong while living in a castle, I had to act.

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:20] Oh, I can't wait to hear the rest of this fun story.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:22] A year later, Dan McCoy took a stand alongside me.

[1:39:25] I was ecstatic to have a fellow traveler in my quest for the truth.

[1:39:28] In a follow-up email titled, Vindication, I called Dan the Bernstein to my woodward.

[1:39:33] I was so grateful for Dan's support that I let him be the cool one.

[1:39:38] Smash cut to 2019.

[1:39:40] Trump is in the White House.

[1:39:41] Snowden is living in Moscow.

[1:39:42] America has lost its innocence or something.

[1:39:45] And Joe Bob Briggs is finally on the flop house.

[1:39:48] I was thrilled at the prospect of Mr. Briggs weighing in on the greatest controversy in the history of podcasts, if not cinema.

[1:39:54] So imagine my dismay when Dan McCoy claimed that he was the first person to notice that the castle freak didn't rip off his own ding dong.

[1:40:02] You didn't just betray me, Mr. McCoy.

[1:40:04] You betrayed the truth.

[1:40:06] The American people await your apology.

[1:40:08] Sincerely, Dan, last name withheld.

[1:40:10] Keep up the good work, guys.

[1:40:12] I just realized I've been listening for nearly a decade.

[1:40:14] So I think you're my family now?

[1:40:15] Mm-hmm.

[1:40:16] That's from me.

[1:40:17] Sorry about them early ones.

[1:40:20] Yeah.

[1:40:20] Yeah, I would like to apologize.

[1:40:22] I remember this now.

[1:40:24] I remember that the email is what put me on the case.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:26] Oh, you remember when you were watching this movie that Stuart was right and he rips off his own ding dong.

[1:40:32] That's what you're saying?

[1:40:33] No, no, no.

[1:40:33] Sorry to finish your sentence.

[1:40:34] It was just, that was kind of the breadcrumbs were leading me to it.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:38] Yeah, I was not the whistleblower in this situation.

[1:40:42] It was Dan.

[1:40:43] Other Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:44] Actually, Dan, I have an apology to make.

[1:40:47] Yeah.

[1:40:47] There's a reason that you didn't remember that you weren't the whistleblower.

[1:40:52] And it's hard for me to reveal this truth to you.

[1:40:54] But Dan, a few years ago, do you remember when we were going on that boat vacation?

[1:40:59] And we were driving to the boat?

Dan McCoy

[1:41:00] I mean, only vaguely.

[1:41:01] Only, it's like, it's pretty fuzzy for some reason.

[1:41:04] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:04] Dan, there was a car crash and you actually died on the way there.

[1:41:09] Oh, cool.

[1:41:09] When I brought you back to life, I saw...

[1:41:12] Oh, cool.

[1:41:13] Yeah.

[1:41:13] I mean, that's objectively cool.

[1:41:15] Yeah, I guess you're right.

[1:41:16] When I brought you back to life, I didn't have your brainwaves.

[1:41:21] And so, I had to recreate them from memory.

[1:41:24] And for a few places where I wasn't sure what to do, I used a cat's memory.

[1:41:29] A cat's memory, Dan.

[1:41:31] And I think in the place where you should have remembered Dan originally bringing this to your attention,

[1:41:36] you might remember pooping in a box full of sand.

[1:41:39] Is that true?

Dan McCoy

[1:41:41] I mean, who among us hasn't pooped in a box full of sand?

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:45] I mean, sometimes you just gotta go and somebody else is in the normal bathroom.

[1:41:48] Yeah.

[1:41:48] And you're like, well, a cat does this.

[1:41:50] There's sand here.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:51] And you're like, step aside, muscles.

[1:41:53] I'm gonna use this one.

[1:41:54] Yeah, I mean, I paid for it.

[1:41:58] And so, Dan, I should apologize.

[1:42:00] I must have erased that memory, or rather, never remembered it, and put a cat memory instead.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:06] So, Elliot, how often do you use the I paid for it argument where you put on a pair of Sammy's pull-ups?

[1:42:12] Well, one, Sammy is toilet trained.

[1:42:14] He's five years old.

[1:42:15] He no longer wears diapers.

[1:42:17] I don't keep track of everything, dude.

[1:42:21] I mean, I'm glad...

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:22] Everything about your son's pooping.

[1:42:23] I'm glad that you don't know you're not fully on top of my son's toilet habits.

[1:42:27] That's true.

[1:42:27] You don't need to know that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:29] Yeah.

[1:42:29] I mean, for the purposes of the joke, it's not like people are gonna write in and be like,

[1:42:33] Sammy's still using pull-ups?

[1:42:34] Elliot, you might want to have a conversation with him.

[1:42:36] I mean, they would write in.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:37] They would just be cracking up because it's hilarious.

[1:42:39] Well, to answer your question, zero times.

[1:42:41] They wouldn't fit me.

[1:42:42] I'm not that small.

[1:42:43] Come on.

[1:42:44] If only they did fit me.

[1:42:45] For some of this L.A. traffic, it would be great to have a diaper.

[1:42:49] Uh-huh.

[1:42:49] Or it would probably cushion your bottom for those long sits.

Dan McCoy

[1:42:54] Let's move on to the next part of the show,

[1:42:56] where we recommend movies that we saw and enjoyed.

[1:43:00] And as much as we kind of liked replicas,

[1:43:02] maybe you should see these first.

[1:43:04] I would like to recommend a movie that I,

[1:43:08] you know, guys, sometimes I recommend movies on this podcast that are,

[1:43:12] let's call them plane movies that are-

[1:43:15] Like planes from Disney.

[1:43:16] Yeah.

[1:43:17] They're pleasant enough.

[1:43:19] I recommend them because they're a thing-

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:20] Or the movie adaptation of Sarah Plain and Tall.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:22] They're a thing I saw recently that I found enjoyment in,

[1:43:26] but I'm not going to put my full weight behind.

[1:43:29] This week, I'd like to put my full weight behind my recommendation.

[1:43:31] I saw Booksmart.

[1:43:32] Uh-huh.

[1:43:33] And I loved this movie.

[1:43:34] I thought it was so good.

[1:43:36] I think it was,

[1:43:37] I think it's the most I've laughed at a comedy in recent memory.

[1:43:41] So on the,

[1:43:42] just the comedy level, it delivers.

[1:43:43] But also,

[1:43:45] the movie,

[1:43:46] like,

[1:43:47] the two protagonists,

[1:43:49] the actors who play them,

[1:43:52] and the writing of the movie makes you

[1:43:54] just on the side of these two young women immediately.

[1:43:59] Like,

[1:44:00] they're so lovable,

[1:44:00] so easy to kind of sympathize with.

[1:44:04] And the movie's really great about,

[1:44:07] it's,

[1:44:08] it's a movie where,

[1:44:09] like,

[1:44:09] everyone in the film

[1:44:11] is a fleshed out character

[1:44:14] that you care about

[1:44:15] and empathize with,

[1:44:17] and like,

[1:44:17] no one's like a bad,

[1:44:18] like,

[1:44:19] even the people who are mean,

[1:44:20] sometimes,

[1:44:21] you understand them,

[1:44:22] and you sympathize with them,

[1:44:24] and overall,

[1:44:25] you're like,

[1:44:25] oh,

[1:44:25] this is a good person.

[1:44:27] And it's,

[1:44:27] but the movie manages to do that

[1:44:29] without being over sweet.

[1:44:31] Yeah.

[1:44:31] If you know what I mean.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:32] So even those like,

[1:44:33] like,

[1:44:34] say,

[1:44:34] the evil manager

[1:44:35] who is actually,

[1:44:36] like,

[1:44:37] working for a military company

[1:44:39] is fully fleshed out in Booksmart.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:41] Yeah,

[1:44:42] exactly.

[1:44:43] That character that exists in Booksmart.

[1:44:44] But I also want to say,

[1:44:47] you know,

[1:44:47] in 2019,

[1:44:49] there should be more movies

[1:44:50] where,

[1:44:51] say,

[1:44:52] a range of sexualities

[1:44:53] is just treated very casually.

[1:44:56] Uh-huh.

[1:44:57] Uh,

[1:44:57] but unfortunately,

[1:44:58] there are fewer than,

[1:44:59] than there should be.

[1:44:59] And it's nice to see,

[1:45:00] like,

[1:45:00] a big,

[1:45:01] mainstream,

[1:45:03] crowd-pleasing comedy

[1:45:04] that does not make

[1:45:05] any kind of big deal

[1:45:06] about the fact that

[1:45:07] one of the protagonists

[1:45:08] is a lesbian.

[1:45:09] Uh-huh.

[1:45:10] And,

[1:45:11] I don't know.

[1:45:12] Like,

[1:45:12] it's just,

[1:45:13] there are times in this movie,

[1:45:14] as funny as it was,

[1:45:15] where I was on the verge of tears,

[1:45:17] not because something

[1:45:18] was particularly sad,

[1:45:19] or not even because

[1:45:20] something was making me,

[1:45:21] like,

[1:45:21] super happy,

[1:45:21] but because

[1:45:22] I felt so,

[1:45:25] like,

[1:45:26] on these girls' side

[1:45:28] and wanting them to just

[1:45:30] have a good life,

[1:45:32] like,

[1:45:32] for things to work out for them

[1:45:33] in this period of time

[1:45:35] where they're graduating school

[1:45:36] and going through,

[1:45:37] like,

[1:45:38] a lot of tempestuous situations.

[1:45:41] Uh-huh.

[1:45:41] Like,

[1:45:41] I just cared about the characters.

[1:45:44] Yeah.

[1:45:44] And,

[1:45:45] uh,

[1:45:45] so I just,

[1:45:46] it's not getting

[1:45:46] the box office it deserves

[1:45:48] for being such a crowd-pleasing,

[1:45:50] like,

[1:45:50] everyone I saw it with

[1:45:51] was reacting like crazy,

[1:45:53] and I think

[1:45:54] if you want to see more movies,

[1:45:56] I mean,

[1:45:56] this was directed by a woman,

[1:45:57] it was written only by women,

[1:45:59] it stars to women,

[1:46:00] like,

[1:46:00] if you want to see more movies

[1:46:01] like that,

[1:46:02] it's good to get out

[1:46:02] in the theater

[1:46:03] and see it.

[1:46:04] Yeah,

[1:46:04] yeah,

[1:46:05] people should go see it.

[1:46:06] So,

[1:46:07] that's my recommendation.

Stuart Wellington

[1:46:08] I'm going to recommend a movie

[1:46:09] kind of along the same lines.

[1:46:11] Uh-huh.

[1:46:12] Uh,

[1:46:12] this just came out.

[1:46:14] You can watch it on demand.

[1:46:15] It stars martial arts actor

[1:46:18] Scott Adkins

[1:46:20] in a,

[1:46:21] quite a character performance for him.

[1:46:24] The movie is called Avengement,

[1:46:27] which I don't know

[1:46:28] what that word means,

[1:46:28] but I'm assuming it was selected

[1:46:30] because it means that

[1:46:31] it shows up at the top

[1:46:32] of your VOD queue,

[1:46:34] uh,

[1:46:35] under A,

[1:46:36] and,

[1:46:38] uh,

[1:46:38] it is a kind of a mix

[1:46:40] between his typical,

[1:46:42] like,

[1:46:42] martial arts beat-em-up movies

[1:46:44] and a bit of,

[1:46:45] like,

[1:46:46] like a Cockney London gangster movie.

[1:46:48] So,

[1:46:49] it's filled with fun accents

[1:46:51] and,

[1:46:52] uh,

[1:46:52] it is about,

[1:46:53] Scott Adkins plays,

[1:46:55] uh,

[1:46:56] the younger brother

[1:46:56] of a,

[1:46:57] like,

[1:46:58] a criminal guy

[1:46:59] and he does a,

[1:47:00] a job for his brother

[1:47:02] in order to open up a gym

[1:47:04] and,

[1:47:05] in the process,

[1:47:05] he gets arrested

[1:47:06] and causes the death

[1:47:08] of a poor woman

[1:47:09] and he goes to jail

[1:47:11] and jail is horrible

[1:47:12] and it hardens him

[1:47:13] and he becomes this,

[1:47:15] like,

[1:47:15] monster of a man

[1:47:16] who is also very good

[1:47:18] at fighting

[1:47:18] and he breaks loose

[1:47:20] and gets his revenge

[1:47:21] and I think it's,

[1:47:23] like,

[1:47:23] it's kind of fun.

[1:47:24] It's fun to see an actor

[1:47:25] who's been in a bunch

[1:47:26] of these,

[1:47:27] like,

[1:47:27] action movies

[1:47:28] really have an opportunity

[1:47:29] to kind of stretch

[1:47:30] his acting wings

[1:47:31] and it's also

[1:47:32] incredibly violent

[1:47:33] and,

[1:47:34] uh,

[1:47:34] gory.

[1:47:35] So,

[1:47:36] if those things

[1:47:37] sound fun,

[1:47:37] I would check out

[1:47:38] Avengement.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:40] I read a review

[1:47:40] of this online

[1:47:41] and it sounded

[1:47:42] a lot of fun

[1:47:44] like it would be

[1:47:44] my cup of tea.

[1:47:45] Yeah,

[1:47:45] yeah,

[1:47:46] it's fun.

[1:47:46] Yeah,

[1:47:46] like Booksmart.

[1:47:48] Yeah,

[1:47:48] they're the same movie,

[1:47:49] basically.

[1:47:49] Yeah,

[1:47:49] this movie puts

[1:47:50] the act in action.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:52] Mm-hmm.

[1:47:53] Yep.

[1:47:54] Uh,

[1:47:54] I'm gonna quickly recommend,

[1:47:56] I finally got to see

[1:47:57] Cold War,

[1:47:58] the Polish movie

[1:47:58] that came out last year

[1:47:59] directed by Pavel Pavlikowski,

[1:48:01] Pavlikowski,

[1:48:02] I'm gonna pronounce it wrong.

[1:48:03] Anyway,

[1:48:04] about a man and a woman,

[1:48:05] the man is a composer

[1:48:07] slash musical director,

[1:48:08] the woman is a singer

[1:48:09] with a,

[1:48:11] with a,

[1:48:12] not shady past,

[1:48:13] but with a,

[1:48:13] uh,

[1:48:14] troubling,

[1:48:14] troublesome past

[1:48:15] and the two of them

[1:48:16] meet in Poland

[1:48:18] in the 1940s

[1:48:19] and it follows

[1:48:20] their relationship

[1:48:21] as they kind of

[1:48:22] intersect in and out

[1:48:24] of each other's lives.

[1:48:24] They're deeply in love

[1:48:25] but one of them

[1:48:26] leaves Poland

[1:48:27] for the West

[1:48:28] and the other one

[1:48:29] sticks

[1:48:29] and stays in Poland

[1:48:30] and how the two of them

[1:48:31] kind of change

[1:48:32] and meet up again

[1:48:33] and again a few times

[1:48:34] throughout their life

[1:48:34] and how their relationship

[1:48:35] weathers and does not weather

[1:48:38] the differences imposed

[1:48:39] on them

[1:48:40] by geopolitics.

[1:48:42] It's a really beautiful

[1:48:43] looking movie,

[1:48:43] like it looks gorgeous

[1:48:44] and I found it

[1:48:45] really affecting

[1:48:46] and to be honest,

[1:48:48] it was like

[1:48:48] the movie that I wanted

[1:48:50] La La Land to be

[1:48:51] which is like

[1:48:53] a movie about

[1:48:54] creative professionals

[1:48:55] who's,

[1:48:56] who love each other

[1:48:57] but their lives

[1:48:58] are imperfect

[1:48:59] and don't really mesh

[1:49:01] partly because of their art

[1:49:02] and partly because of

[1:49:03] the burdens that

[1:49:05] the outside world

[1:49:06] places on them

[1:49:07] and their relationship

[1:49:07] and so it's a very

[1:49:09] different type of movie

[1:49:09] than that

[1:49:10] but I really liked it

[1:49:11] a lot.

[1:49:11] So that's Cold War

[1:49:12] and it's currently,

[1:49:13] I think,

[1:49:14] streaming on Amazon Prime.

Dan McCoy

[1:49:17] Cool.

[1:49:17] Three movies to watch.

[1:49:20] That's your assignment.

[1:49:21] I expect reports

[1:49:22] on my desk

[1:49:23] next week.

[1:49:25] Hey,

[1:49:25] before we go,

[1:49:26] let's plug those

[1:49:27] live shows again.

[1:49:28] I don't think

[1:49:29] we need to belabor it.

[1:49:30] You can go to the,

[1:49:31] you can go to the page,

[1:49:33] the website,

[1:49:34] flophousepodcast.com

[1:49:35] and click on events

[1:49:35] but we do have

[1:49:36] a show tonight

[1:49:38] when you're listening

[1:49:39] to this in Portland.

[1:49:41] Tonight in Portland, Oregon

Elliott Kalan

[1:49:42] if you're listening

[1:49:42] to this on June 8th.

[1:49:43] Well, I'll just say

[1:49:44] real quick.

[1:49:44] Tonight in Portland, Oregon

[1:49:45] then it's July 13th

[1:49:46] in Minneapolis,

[1:49:47] September 28th

[1:49:48] in Boston,

[1:49:49] October 12th

[1:49:50] in Los Angeles.

Stuart Wellington

[1:49:52] Yeah, hopefully

[1:49:53] we'll see some of you

[1:49:54] folks out there.

Elliott Kalan

[1:49:55] And if we don't

[1:49:56] see you there,

[1:49:57] we're just very disappointed.

[1:49:59] And you.

[1:50:00] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:03] It's always a pleasure, guys.

[1:50:05] Yeah, we did it.

[1:50:05] Okay, so

[1:50:06] check out podcasts

[1:50:08] over at

[1:50:08] maximumfun.org.

[1:50:10] There's tons of cool shows.

[1:50:11] We're really happy

[1:50:12] to be part of the network.

[1:50:13] For the Flophouse Podcast,

[1:50:15] he's been Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:16] Okay, thanks.

[1:50:18] That guy talking

[1:50:19] was Stuart Wellington.

[1:50:20] And over here,

[1:50:20] once again,

[1:50:21] introducing himself,

[1:50:22] Elliot Kalin.

[1:50:23] Please leave us a review

[1:50:24] on iTunes or wherever

[1:50:25] you listen to your podcasts.

[1:50:26] For the Flophouse,

[1:50:26] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:50:29] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:50:30] I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:50:31] We're caught in the loop.

Dan McCoy

[1:50:33] Bye.

[1:50:36] Okay, now that he's gone,

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:47] let's talk shit about it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:49] Okay.

[1:50:49] Can you believe how little

[1:50:51] he brought to that bit?

Dan McCoy

[1:50:52] I know.

[1:50:54] You were giving him

[1:50:54] all those great prompts.

[1:50:56] I thought you were going

[1:50:56] to be like,

[1:50:57] could you believe

[1:50:57] how little he is?

S4

[1:51:02] minimumfun.org.

Dan McCoy

[1:51:03] Comedy and culture.

S4

[1:51:05] Artist owned,

[1:51:06] audience supported.

Ep. #286 - Replicas

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