Ep. #297 - Mortal Engines

[0:00] On this episode we discuss Mortal Engines.

[0:04] The movie that will make you realize cities that roll around on tank treads

[0:09] and harpoon other cities and then eat those cities are kind of boring.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:42] Oh, hey there, Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellingtown.

[0:45] Hey there, Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellingtown. It's me, Elliot Kalin, and I'm joined today by a very special guest.

[0:51] Brendan, say hi.

[0:52] Hi, I'm Brendan Hay.

[0:53] This is Brendan Hay. He's the showrunner of the Netflix animated series Harvey Girls Forever.

[0:58] third season is out now uh yes and he is also you know a great friend of ours he's been a long-time

[1:04] friend of mine uh he's one of my groomsmen and he has a boatload of stories from when he was the

[1:09] head writer of star wars detours a star wars animated cartoon that never aired but we never

[1:14] will we're not here to talk about that are we i mean we can but i think mortal engines is far

[1:19] more fascinating yeah so brendan what brought you yeah it's more fascinating than star wars

[1:25] I think the success of Mortal Engines

[1:29] proves the world is hungry

[1:31] for cities that eat cities

[1:33] and not for anything Star Wars related content

[1:36] Star Wars it's too bad

[1:37] that it's kind of hit a down turn

[1:38] it's about time

[1:41] everything has it's phase and Star Wars is done

[1:43] I was at Engines Edge at Disneyland

[1:45] the Mortal Engines themed theme park

[1:47] and I was just having so much fun

[1:50] riding around in the bumper cars

[1:51] that are shaped like cities on tank trucks

[1:53] and Disney Plus is going to be huge

[1:55] because now that they have the engineer,

[1:57] that spin-off of the Mortal Engines franchise.

[1:59] The Ingenorian, yeah.

[2:00] Yeah, the Ingenorian.

[2:00] It's going to be huge.

[2:01] So, Dan, what do we do on this podcast?

[2:02] Wait, is Brendan Dunn being introduced?

[2:05] I thought Elliot was about to say something.

[2:07] Oh, I know you.

[2:08] I mean, I'm always about to say something, dudes.

[2:10] You've got to interrupt me.

[2:11] Once I pop, I can't stop.

[2:13] I will throw out the reason I know Elliot

[2:15] is because I used to have an X-Force dupe screensaver.

[2:18] And when he was an intern

[2:20] and I was a writer's assistant at The Daily Show,

[2:21] he was probably the only person ever on staff

[2:24] to be like, hey, is that a dupe screensaver?

[2:26] And we talked for about a half hour, and there you go.

[2:28] And we have been friends ever since.

[2:30] I mean, I was cooler than that.

[2:31] I was like, hey, sweet dupe.

[2:33] That actually is more accurate.

[2:35] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[2:36] You were the cool dude in the situation.

[2:38] Yeah, yeah, I was the cool dude in my black jeans

[2:40] and tucked in black Frankenstein t-shirt.

[2:41] I was going to say, yeah,

[2:42] it might have been the Boris Karloff, yeah.

[2:44] Yeah, and you were smoking cigarettes

[2:47] and staring at the ceiling wistfully.

[2:49] Am I Sidney Carton in the trial scene

[2:54] in A Tale of Two Cities.

[2:55] Possibly.

[2:55] I mean, I was kind of mashing it up

[2:57] like a traditional French cool guy

[2:59] with Jordan Catalano.

[3:01] The coolest of teenagers, yeah.

[3:05] So, Dan, what do we do on this podcast?

[3:07] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie

[3:09] and then we talk about it.

[3:10] And today we're discussing Mortal Engines,

[3:14] which was produced by Peter Jackson.

[3:16] Now, you guys keep saying that we watch Mortal Engines,

[3:19] but I'm pretty sure I watched Mortal Instruments,

[3:23] City of Bones.

[3:24] Oh, no.

[3:26] That's a different movie.

[3:27] No, but it stars the same person.

[3:29] Yeah, the movie I watched was a YA based on like a YA property.

[3:34] Yeah.

[3:34] Oh, no, no, this one is too.

[3:35] That would be correct, yeah.

[3:36] And there's the bad guy's last name is Valentine.

[3:39] Okay, yeah, you got it so far.

[3:41] Alternate stars that guy that was in that terrible Umbrella Academy TV show.

[3:45] Okay, haven't seen Umbrella Academy, but yeah, same guy, yeah.

[3:49] So I watched the right movie, right?

[3:53] Most of the way

[3:55] Well let's

[3:56] Why don't I talk about

[3:57] What happens in this movie

[3:58] Robert Sheehan

[3:58] Okay

[3:59] That was his name

[4:00] And you

[4:00] Why don't we

[4:01] I'll talk about the movie

[4:02] And we can figure out

[4:03] How much it

[4:04] Lines up

[4:05] Or doesn't line up

[4:05] The two mortal movies

[4:06] That also star the same guy

[4:08] And have a bad guy

[4:09] Who's last name is Valentine

[4:10] Cause the only mortal

[4:11] And are based on YA novels

[4:12] The only mortal

[4:13] Primarily featuring cities

[4:14] No don't worry about it

[4:15] Let's just move on

[4:16] Okay

[4:16] No no what are we gonna say

[4:18] What are we gonna say Stuart

[4:18] What are we gonna say

[4:19] I dare you

[4:20] I double dog dare you

[4:20] I'm checking my phone

[4:22] okay mortal engines so guys let's talk about the movie the movie opens with a voiceover over the

[4:31] production credits of all things uh not over footage but just over the names production

[4:35] companies but how in the future society collapsed and resources were scarce so the age of the

[4:39] predator cities began long story short this is doled out to us in not so much clues but

[4:44] varied info dumps i'll just tell you the movie takes place years after the 60 minute war

[4:48] when a doomsday quantum weapon called Medusa

[4:51] destroyed the world's big cities,

[4:53] and now the only cities that are left

[4:55] are enormous vehicles on tank treads,

[4:57] something that was never really explained

[5:00] how the way for a city to survive

[5:02] was to become a tank tread city.

[5:04] Guys, did I miss the explanation for that?

[5:04] No, this was, in a movie that I had a lot of problems with,

[5:08] this was my major problem,

[5:10] which is the entire premise of the movie,

[5:13] the basic thing in the movie

[5:14] is that these cities roam around,

[5:17] And there's no explanation as to why, after the apocalypse, that is a better model of living.

[5:23] I'm going to tell you right up top.

[5:25] It's so that you don't get blasted by somebody's Medusa laser.

[5:28] What?

[5:28] If you're driving around, if you're like hot-dogging around Europe, they can't blast you with a Medusa.

[5:33] But I thought they didn't have Medusa lasers anymore.

[5:35] That was the whole point.

[5:35] Now, the other thing, why do they call it a Medusa when a Medusa traditionally turns a normal thing into stone and the laser turns stone into rubble?

[5:47] Excellent point.

[5:48] You got your bit.

[5:49] That's your tight five on the Medusa right there.

[5:51] I have to assume they named it after their favorite parody of Madonna, Truth or Dare,

[5:56] the Julie Brown movie Medusa, Truth or Scare, is it called?

[6:00] I think that sounds correct.

[6:01] Okay.

[6:01] Wow.

[6:02] It's rare that you mention something, Elliot, that I've never, ever heard of, but you did.

[6:09] Really?

[6:09] Oh, wow.

[6:09] Someone didn't have HBO growing up.

[6:13] The only place where you can reliably find, at any time of day, one of Julie Brown's two movies, that or Earth Girls Are Easy.

[6:18] Okay, so we're opening up, and there's this little steampunk city with a multi-ethnic cast.

[6:23] They all love each other.

[6:24] They're great.

[6:24] They're having a peaceful time.

[6:25] There's a girl who has a red bandana over her face who lives there, but uh-oh, London is coming.

[6:30] And the city splits up into little tank cities with lots of smokestacks and levers, everything steampunk.

[6:35] And it gets chased around by London, which is this huge predator city that's riding around Europe looking for resources.

[6:40] again this is the best way for a city to exist in the after times is for it to literally need

[6:45] more gasoline to run itself than if it just sat in one place and sent people out on horses i guess

[6:50] but uh london we soon learn is piloted by he's going to be the villain how do you know he's

[6:55] played by hugo weaving his name thaddeus valentine who's a sort of what's his job he's like an

[7:00] archaeologist inventor administrator pilot like what like well yeah which gets a little bit too

[7:05] also this does seem to be instead of the road warrior it's the road bureaucrat because instead

[7:10] of it's like oh here's a badass warrior with like tons of fighters and flaming guitars it's like no

[7:15] here's an architect with a room full of uh navigators and some historians yeah he's got a

[7:21] good beard though he does have a good beard now stewart you know hugo weaving best of course from

[7:26] your favorite three film series of films the matrix movies yeah so uh yep he said uh he was

[7:32] always uh chasing that mr anderson right uh so here's where so i i was like and this is around

[7:40] the point where i was like so is it that the world is like too radioactive for the cities to stay in

[7:44] one place i don't think so i mean i don't think the i don't think that specific weapon i feel

[7:50] like part of what makes that the blaster thing the medusa is that it it's not really it's not

[7:55] radiation it just like fucks everything up yeah it's some kind of quantum energy i wasn't i wasn't

[8:01] paying attention to the exposition of the movie so i can't remember exactly how they explain how

[8:05] it fucks it up but it fucks it up you were just too distracted by the production logos of course

[8:09] i mean that would be an amazing scene if it was like in the 62nd war the medusa weapon was

[8:14] unleashed the medusa what does it do it really fucks things up like it hits the city and it

[8:19] really fucks that city up like that city is in deep shit after the medusa hits it and the end

[8:25] Peter Jackson's reading the script, and he's like, yes, Fran.

[8:27] Perfect dialogue. I love it.

[8:29] So, London

[8:31] catches one of these little cities. It hits it with

[8:33] harpoons, and ingests it, and

[8:35] starts taking on all the people, and taking apart

[8:37] the machines and the old tech, and at that

[8:39] point, the cool part of the movie

[8:41] is effectively over. We are about

[8:43] ten minutes in at that point. Yeah, and I mean, at that

[8:45] point, that's also when we finally

[8:47] get the title. Like, before

[8:49] the title, we see a lot of characters

[8:51] running around with a variety of wigs

[8:53] and a variety of, like, ye olde Victorian London-style outfits

[8:57] that are slightly post-apocalyptic, but not really.

[9:01] Yeah, I mean, you say that the cool part of the movie is over,

[9:04] but I really had big problems with this opening action sequence.

[9:08] Not only is it incomprehensible in the way it's shot,

[9:12] but, like, it expects you to care right away about what's happening

[9:16] when you're baffled by these cities.

[9:19] Like, I feel like we already mentioned The Matrix.

[9:21] like the matrix starts out with a big action sequence where you like don't really understand

[9:25] what's going on but you understand enough in that it's like okay this woman needs to get away from

[9:29] these these people and like and then when weird stuff starts happening like you have these cops

[9:35] around who are like what the fuck like acknowledging that it's weird like here it's like i don't care

[9:40] about these people right off the bat i don't know what's going on with these fucking cities why do

[9:44] you assume i'm gonna be thrilled by this action sequence hey all you know is a little city is

[9:47] being eaten by a big city it's the circle of life what are you gonna do you're like why does this

[9:51] remind me so much of the pirates of dark water and as we've all known we learned what the mortal

[9:57] engines are which are the god machines of the adeptus titanicus yeah well that's the the mortal

[10:04] engine we realize now is our own heart which will eventually stop beating and we're wasting its time

[10:09] watching this movie now uh so we good you're you're in locked in because we're about to meet

[10:14] the hero of the movie, and I know you're going to love him.

[10:16] He works at the British Museum.

[10:18] He's a clumsy eccentric who's very handsome.

[10:20] I would call him like a blander Eddie Redman.

[10:22] His name's Tom Natsworthy.

[10:24] And he has a collection of dangerous old tech that he keeps hidden so nobody can use it.

[10:29] And also minions.

[10:29] And he also, they have, there's a hilarious joke where there's some minion statues and

[10:34] people think that they are deities from the old worlds.

[10:36] So here's what I don't understand.

[10:38] They have video of the 60 second war, of the 60 minute war.

[10:43] they wear the same clothes, they have the old tech,

[10:47] why do they think the minions were gods

[10:49] when they should have a copy of, at the very least,

[10:51] Despicable Me 3 on hand?

[10:53] Yeah, I will give you one better.

[10:55] You talked about how everything was like,

[10:56] is steampunk in this world?

[10:58] And it does not make any sense to me.

[11:00] It's like, after the apocalypse,

[11:01] why isn't everything just like cobbled together

[11:03] from various shit instead of like,

[11:05] you've got airships at the end of the movie

[11:07] that's like, okay, I guess Leonardo da Vinci designed this.

[11:11] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[11:12] Why is basically everyone in this movie British?

[11:15] Yeah.

[11:15] Like, did they not get blasted by the Medusas?

[11:18] That's one of the weird things is London is,

[11:21] they're in Europe and they're like,

[11:22] we never should have come to Europe.

[11:24] But everyone they meet is British for the most part.

[11:26] Or at the very end, they meet a Chinese person.

[11:30] Yeah.

[11:30] So there's that.

[11:32] But Dan, I think you're forgetting that

[11:34] after the apocalypse,

[11:35] I'll tell you one thing the Medusa can't destroy.

[11:37] Humanity's innate need for style.

[11:39] Okay.

[11:40] So why should I be in some crappy old airship when I can be in one that looks to the past but at the same time also looks to the future?

[11:47] I call it the DaVinci 5000.

[11:49] It's retro, real retro.

[11:51] You might even call it a renaissance in airline design.

[11:54] Let me take you aboard.

[11:55] The DaVinci 5000 has the latest state-of-the-art old stuff that we found in the remnants of the old cities and put together in some big heap of junk.

[12:02] But at the same time, it's got modern-day amenities.

[12:05] Now, modern-day is after the apocalypse.

[12:07] So those amenities include Twinkies, which we'll see later, have survived, and also Minion statues.

[12:12] So the great thing about the DaVinci 5000 or 6000, I can't remember what number I gave this model number, is that it comes with Minion statues.

[12:19] Dan, how do you feel about the Minions?

[12:20] Now, I want to jump in here.

[12:22] Before I purchase this, you know, before I put cash on the barrelhead, or quirks as they call it.

[12:27] Okay, we got a customer.

[12:28] I love it, yeah.

[12:29] As our currency is called quirks, which is appropriate since this movie is filled with them.

[12:36] oh man uh so before i do that i i'm in possession of a cassette tape that my mom

[12:43] made me it's a mix it's filled with 70s rock and roll she gave it to me before she died from

[12:47] alien cancer is there any way that i could play this in the da vinci 6000 or whatever you called

[12:53] it you are in luck we actually have not yes we have a tape player it doesn't work but it looks

[13:01] cool and if you find the parts that would make it work i'm sure you could install them too and

[13:07] then you can bop around to your mom's favorite 70s hits let's call it like 70s awesome mix volume

[13:11] one volume two of course you'll save for the sequel uh and when you meet up with your alien

[13:17] buddies or perhaps when you read your dad's book about how love came from the stars in the form of

[13:22] darth vader or something then uh you know it'll all be you'll enjoy it really much so how much

[13:27] Can I ask you to pay me for this?

[13:28] You live in a world without a market.

[13:30] I can ask him to pay anything.

[13:32] You have the power.

[13:33] And remember, he's paying in quirks.

[13:35] Oh, and you're paying me in quirks.

[13:36] So one quirk is worth what?

[13:38] Like a piece of turkey?

[13:39] I don't understand.

[13:39] Well, it's one eccentricity.

[13:40] So he could start wearing a bowler hat everywhere he goes.

[13:43] Oh, wow.

[13:44] So, yeah, you're going to have to pay me by looking like a character from another movie

[13:48] who's been ported into this movie, as we'll see later on.

[13:50] Okay, so we meet this guy, Tom Natsworthy.

[13:53] He's talking to Kate, a pretty woman who is looking for information on the 60-minute war.

[13:57] I don't know that we ever find out why.

[13:59] It's basically just so that she can meet Tom.

[14:02] And Tom tells her, as he tells everybody, he always wanted to be an aviator, but he couldn't for some reason.

[14:07] That is never fully defined as far as I can remember.

[14:10] And so now he's an apprentice historian.

[14:12] So Tom and Kate, or sorry, Tim and Kate.

[14:15] No, Tom.

[14:15] Plus eight.

[14:15] Tom or Tim?

[14:16] Tom.

[14:16] I said plus eight.

[14:18] Yeah, Tim and Kate plus eight.

[14:20] I think it's Tom, right?

[14:22] Tom.

[14:23] Is it Tom?

[14:23] Tom Noseworthy.

[14:25] I wrote down Noseworthy.

[14:26] Or Noseworthy, it could be.

[14:28] Look, he's more worthy of a nose than a gnat.

[14:29] Let's just say that.

[14:30] Oh, wow.

[14:31] High praise.

[14:32] Like the old saying goes.

[14:33] Like the old saying goes, better a nose than a gnat, better a gnat than a cat, better a

[14:39] cat than a hat, better a hat than a nose.

[14:41] The circle of life continues.

[14:42] Tom goes to where they're processing this city that just got eaten stuff, and he impresses

[14:48] Thaddeus Valentine by identifying an old toaster.

[14:51] and we learn that thaddeus valentine is kate's dad her name is kate valentine we also meet tom's

[14:56] friend bevis who's kind of a frost-tipped maintenance dude and he's kind of the stewart

[15:00] wellington of the movie yeah he's pretty cool and kind of always underfoot you know

[15:03] yeah he's always there when you least expect it and then he disappears for most of the end of the

[15:09] movie uh so in that way he's kind of like the dan too oh anyway so wow uh they and they find in all

[15:17] old tech a dangerous fusion inverter cell and valentine is like i'll take that so it can be

[15:22] destroyed and not misused and you're like guys don't give that dangerous tech to hugo weaving

[15:26] he's obviously the bad guy and the only thing that'd be worse is if his boss max von seidel

[15:30] showed up and took it from him yeah okay so the red bandana lady from earlier she finally makes

[15:36] her appearance she jumps out and she stabs hugo weaving and she goes this is for pandora shaw

[15:40] that's right we're learning the name of a character we haven't met yet before the names

[15:43] of characters we have met.

[15:45] Thanks, Mortal Engines.

[15:46] And Tom chases her around

[15:49] and they run through

[15:50] the giant chainsaw factory

[15:52] that's breaking up

[15:52] the city that got eaten.

[15:53] I'm glad that he takes

[15:55] the initiative on this one.

[15:56] That he's like,

[15:58] fuck it,

[15:58] there's trained professionals here.

[16:00] There's guards

[16:00] whose only job

[16:01] is to prevent people

[16:02] from causing any violence.

[16:04] Instead,

[16:04] I'm going to chase

[16:05] after this person.

[16:06] Like, most of my job

[16:08] is to polish

[16:09] an old minion statue,

[16:10] but no,

[16:10] it's time for me

[16:11] to take down

[16:11] this would-be assassin.

[16:12] Jump among the chainsaws.

[16:13] Yeah, and jump through the chainsaws.

[16:15] Just like the old Metallica song, jump into the chainsaws.

[16:18] Now, Dan, Stu, how did you guys feel about this giant chainsaw level?

[16:22] Did you think it was just there for the Mortal Engines video game

[16:24] that I assume was being developed, but I don't know if it was ever released?

[16:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[16:28] You've got to duck, you've got to jump, jump to the left.

[16:30] I mean, all I know is like for—

[16:32] It's the controller tutorial.

[16:33] For a post-apocalyptic world, they are doing pretty well

[16:37] because they have figured out how to put entire cities on treads and move them around,

[16:42] And they've got giant chainsaw rooms.

[16:43] I mean, for some place that's supposed to be low on resources, they have done some crazy shit.

[16:49] They are wasting a lot of resources.

[16:52] It's a system that makes no sense.

[16:54] But good thing, it's also boring.

[16:57] So don't worry.

[16:59] You won't have time to answer those questions or ask them.

[17:02] Because this woman, this mystery woman, gives Tom a cryptic warning, then jumps down into what is essentially the city's anus, where all the waste material goes.

[17:11] And it's kind of implied that she is in danger by doing that.

[17:15] And then Thaddeus shows up and Tom's like, oh, this woman said that you're a bad dude.

[17:19] And Thaddeus is like, yep.

[17:20] And he shoves Tom into the same city anus.

[17:23] And he falls to, we assume, maybe his death.

[17:25] But guess who saw the whole thing?

[17:26] That's right.

[17:28] Bevis.

[17:29] Oh, yeah.

[17:30] And he's going to go home to his friend, Bethead, and tell him all about it while they watch 90s MTV music videos.

[17:35] You know, that's it.

[17:40] That's all I got.

[17:41] that's all you got now it's all the movie deserves i called bevis the stewart wellington of the movie

[17:47] what would you have done in this situation you just saw a friend of yours get pushed to maybe

[17:51] his death at into the city's butt by the man who runs the city who is conveniently not surrounded

[17:57] by anybody even though he was just stabbed uh so what would you do with that information what what

[18:01] would you obviously what i would have done is i would have pulled out my uh my hoverboard and

[18:06] surfed down into that butt to catch to help my friend because i don't want to be stuck on this

[18:11] boring city anymore all right and brendan what would you have done in that situation um i think

[18:18] the 90s music videos actually sounds like a pretty good option just to go back there and just you

[18:22] know uh numb the pain of watching my best friend having been murdered uh with a little bit of uh

[18:27] metallica's one okay sure yeah all right and and dan let's you do it too what would you have done

[18:33] in this situation you just saw your best friend get i said well maybe i actually don't know how

[18:37] good of friends they are they just bumped into each other like there are plenty of people where

[18:40] if i was with a girl and i bumped into them i'd introduce them but it's not like they're my bestie

[18:45] or something uh dan what would you have done in this situation actually let's say you're thaddeus

[18:49] valentine because you have a beard too just like him yeah what would you have done in the situation

[18:52] would you kill this nice boy just to keep your secret that you're maybe evil sure man what do

[18:58] i have to lose i've just been stabbed by this lady like no one else is around and tom tom nanceworthy

[19:04] is pretty boring i want to like zap the world with my medusa ray spoiler alert so i don't think that

[19:09] this one kid is gonna get in my way okay fair point i mean he does later spoiler it was as

[19:15] we'll see blow up an entire prison full of people to release one zombie mechano assassin but okay

[19:20] thaddeus uh valentine he's like the traction cities can't live in peace with the static

[19:25] especially this big eastern city called shangguo which has a big wall around i thought shangguo

[19:31] was the person who ran that uh maybe it might be the same the same way that like in star wars

[19:37] sometimes a name applies to both a race

[19:39] and a person yeah I think he's the mayor

[19:42] of Shanguo this is yet another thing

[19:43] that's not explained like why like

[19:46] mobile cities and stationary cities hate

[19:48] each other and like what side we're like

[19:51] really supposed to be on probably

[19:53] probably jealous weaving out of the

[19:55] equation like why why they hate each

[19:57] other and like why one is better than

[19:59] the other or more evil yeah it's I mean

[20:02] it is it's it's very weird it's weird

[20:04] that people are super...

[20:06] Hugo Weaving's nervous

[20:08] that it's going to get out

[20:09] that he murdered somebody

[20:10] who we don't even know yet

[20:12] because this city

[20:14] just ate another city.

[20:15] I feel like these people

[20:18] wouldn't give that much of a shit.

[20:20] Yeah, I mean, and also

[20:21] he could just be like,

[20:22] oh, yeah, well,

[20:24] the person I murdered

[20:25] lived in a static city,

[20:26] so of course, duh,

[20:27] she had to die.

[20:28] And they'd be like,

[20:28] oh, yeah, yeah.

[20:30] Maybe the fact that we don't know

[20:31] why they hate each other

[20:32] is meant as some sort of allegory

[20:34] against the meaningless of war

[20:35] because right now

[20:36] it really feels like

[20:37] a star-belly,

[20:38] non-star-belly

[20:39] snitch situation

[20:40] where it's like,

[20:41] I guess one's better

[20:42] than the other

[20:42] because they think it is.

[20:43] Yeah, and well,

[20:44] as we see later on,

[20:46] Morgan Spurlock

[20:47] has them do a 90-day swap

[20:48] where they change lives

[20:49] for 90 days

[20:50] and they realize

[20:50] they're not so different

[20:51] after all.

[20:51] It's a very surprising ending

[20:53] to this blockbuster

[20:55] science fiction adventure movie

[20:56] that a hologram

[20:57] of Morgan Spurlock

[20:58] has them switch places

[20:59] and also then

[21:00] he supersizes himself

[21:02] and becomes a giant,

[21:03] eats the planet and everyone there is like aren't you problematic for some reason that i forget but

[21:08] kind of remember reading about and morgan is like it's because i unknowingly sexually harassed my

[21:13] assistant and we're like oh of course that's why it is but only for 30 days yeah yeah they go spur

[21:19] lock him up and spur throw away the spur key yeah wait who said that the the police yeah yeah

[21:26] Just Sting.

[21:28] Just Sting solo said it, not the whole police.

[21:30] So don't worry, Dan.

[21:33] You'll find out why they hate each other, because they hate each other because it's a movie.

[21:36] So Kate, his daughter, disagrees.

[21:39] We can live in peace.

[21:40] And he gets a phone call from the Lord Mayor of London who's like, Thaddeus, your big energy plan isn't done yet.

[21:46] Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.

[21:47] And pretty soon Kate and Bevis are suspicious about Hugo Weaving's true intentions because why wouldn't you be?

[21:52] He's Hugo Weaving.

[21:53] Anyway, meanwhile, Tom and the red bandana lady, they're walking around in this wasteland of the future inside the giant train tracks or tank treads of the cities.

[22:04] And we learn that she's Hester Shaw, daughter of Pandora Shaw, because in the future, there are people who have dumb first names and people who have regular first names.

[22:13] And the Toms and Kates and the Pandoras and Hesters are in civil war with each other.

[22:19] and she teaches city boy Tom how to drink mud and eat Twinkies,

[22:22] which are kind of the same thing, by the way.

[22:24] Guys, that's a real hot take.

[22:26] How do you respond to that?

[22:27] I want to say that we, as a culture, need to come up with a new shorthand

[22:32] for food that will survive the apocalypse beyond Twinkies.

[22:35] I feel like we've been coasting on that for a very long time,

[22:37] except maybe it's because I rewatched Zombieland recently,

[22:40] but they have the Twinkies jokes there.

[22:42] I feel like everybody's like cockroaches and Twinkies.

[22:44] I mean, also because you could say other hostess products

[22:47] are probably going to last just as long.

[22:48] Yeah, I mean, that would be great.

[22:49] And also, like, I see the stuff my children eat.

[22:51] There's a lot of that that will survive forever.

[22:53] So just Hollywood.

[22:54] Come on.

[22:54] Be Hollywood for once and pick a different item.

[22:57] I don't want to, you know, as a non-parent, I don't want to talk about your parenting.

[23:00] But it seems like you're in control of what your children eat to some degree.

[23:04] I wish that were true.

[23:06] If Halloween week has taught me nothing else, I am a mere pawn in all of this.

[23:11] Yeah.

[23:11] They have long cons and wheels within wheels going on all around me on how to get sugar.

[23:16] Yeah, yeah.

[23:16] It's truly cream.

[23:19] Candy rules everything around me.

[23:20] I also find that with children's hands being so close to the ground,

[23:25] they have a tendency to just scoop up stuff and toss them in their little mouths.

[23:28] Kind of like the city of London.

[23:30] Yeah.

[23:32] My baby boy, who's 15 months today, he is very much a miniature city of London,

[23:38] just walking around, scooping things off the ground, throwing it in his gullet.

[23:41] I have to reach in and pull it out.

[23:43] And often it's like, best case scenario, it's an old Cheerio.

[23:46] Worst case scenario, it's a nail.

[23:48] Why is this on the ground?

[23:49] Well, it's from the mining colony he ate, sure.

[23:51] Yeah, maybe that's it.

[23:52] And inside his belly, you're saying there's a little Hugo Weaving

[23:56] who's holding up little old-fashioned toasters

[23:58] and occasionally pushing little Tom Noseworthy's at my son's butt.

[24:02] Yeah.

[24:03] And then I open up his diaper and there's just a little faux Eddie Redmayne

[24:07] in there going, hey, I gotta get back to London.

[24:10] And I squish him because I'm so scared.

[24:11] Much better movie.

[24:14] Much better movie.

[24:16] and then he radios back to Earth and goes,

[24:18] it's a planet of giants.

[24:19] The Mortal Engines meet Dave.

[24:21] Yeah, oh, now, is it the Mortal Engines meet Dave?

[24:24] Oh, yeah, meet, meet Dave.

[24:25] Because if the Mortal Engines meet Dave,

[24:27] that would be the movie where Thaddeus Valentine is sick,

[24:29] and a fake Thaddeus Valentine takes his place,

[24:31] and he's kind of a good guy and kind of a goofball,

[24:33] and suddenly he's, like, making friends with Shang-Guo,

[24:36] and everybody's like, we like Thaddeus Valentine a lot.

[24:39] Yeah.

[24:39] So Dan got up and left because he doesn't like it

[24:43] when I badmouth the movies Dave or Meet Dave.

[24:46] We were just talking about your opinions on the movie Meet Dave, Dan.

[24:50] Now, it's an ironic name because in that movie, Dave is like a robot piloted by tiny guys.

[24:57] So he isn't actually made out of meat.

[25:00] Yeah.

[25:00] I think we might have made that joke about 150 episodes ago on this very show.

[25:04] Let me go back and listen.

[25:06] Oh, boy.

[25:08] It's going to be a long episode.

[25:10] Episode one, stealth.

[25:11] Okay.

[25:12] So they get kids.

[25:14] So anyway, Tom and Pandora, and Hester, I'm sorry, Pandora's her mom.

[25:17] Tom and Hester are walking around.

[25:18] They get kidnapped by a kind of vehicle with fake ground on it.

[25:21] And inside they get served tea and cookies because, of course, this is continental Europe and everybody is British.

[25:25] And Hester explains eventually that her mom was an archaeologist who found something Hugo wanted, a piece of old tech.

[25:32] And Hugo killed her for it and left Hester with a bunch of scars.

[25:35] And Hester was just roaming the wasteland as a kid.

[25:38] Hester obviously knows too much.

[25:40] So Thaddeus Valentine, he goes to this big ocean prison on spider legs.

[25:43] out in the middle of the ocean to release shrike a leftover zombie automaton killer from the lazarus

[25:49] brigade who's obsessed with killing hester for some reason stewart was this when you went awesome

[25:55] and had to like hide your boner from the movie i was like i don't want the movie to see it or else

[26:00] the shrike will take it off the i mean this was one of those great scenes where like it's you're

[26:06] starting to wonder if every every like domicile or whatever in this every building in this world

[26:13] is built in the most easily to be destroyed manner possible.

[26:17] You mean it's a prison that's on spindly spider legs

[26:21] for some reason?

[26:21] And I would think like taking a city

[26:23] and just slapping it on some treads

[26:25] and having it fucking dune buggy around,

[26:27] like that's going to blow up.

[26:28] Like that's going to fuck up.

[26:30] Like there's no way that's going to survive.

[26:32] And then of course later on,

[26:34] there's like a pirate colony that lives in the air

[26:37] and like one shrike gets there

[26:38] and then it's all fucked up.

[26:39] There goes the neighborhood.

[26:41] So what you're saying is in the future,

[26:43] people don't think ahead i guess not yeah i will say that there are like two characters in this

[26:48] movie that i found interesting at all one go on one was hugo one was hugo weaving's character

[26:54] valentine just because that he is just because hugo weaving is charismatic not because of any

[26:59] way that the the part is written and then shrike here who is played by the the cable of my heart

[27:07] steven lang but he's like he actually has the most of like his story carries the most emotional

[27:13] weight over the course of the movie like the thing about this film is like i have no idea

[27:18] who any of these characters are or why i'm supposed to care about them and yeah i think

[27:23] you've pinpointed the main issue with this movie is they did a lot of world building and they didn't

[27:27] do a lot of character yeah yeah and strike has the only immediately understandable character goal

[27:32] of like, oh, I raised this girl.

[27:35] I want to get her back.

[27:36] Yeah, and of course, Dan, you were so excited

[27:38] because you're like, Shrike?

[27:39] This is a crossover with Dan Simmons' Hyperion novels?

[27:42] And you must have been so disappointed

[27:44] when you found out it was a different

[27:45] unstoppable killer short.

[27:46] And you're a big fan of Dan Simmons' Hyperion novels

[27:49] because, of course, his name is Dan

[27:50] and your name's Dan.

[27:51] I mean, I have read them.

[27:53] You also are not a fan of Resolution.

[27:55] Yeah, I have read a bunch of Dan Simmons novels,

[27:57] but not that one, not those ones.

[28:00] That's why your favorite skins are Dan skins.

[28:02] uh-huh and i like dan dan his favorite yogurt is dan and dan and yeah dan and yogurt uh dan

[28:08] whether dan oh yeah your favorite play is those is called damn yankees but you thought it was

[28:12] called dan yankees for a long time his favorite uh disney animated movie that was later turned

[28:17] into a live action movie is aladdin now you would think you would think that i love dan in real life

[28:24] but i was very angry at it because there weren't a lot of pancakes in that movie i feel like it was

[28:29] You thought it was the life story biopic of the inventor of the pancake pillow.

[28:33] The pillow you can eat.

[28:35] Why get out of bed?

[28:36] Have breakfast in bed with the pancake pillow.

[28:38] But no, you're wrong.

[28:39] But your favorite Scorsese movie is Kundan, right?

[28:41] The story of the Danny Llama?

[28:43] God damn it.

[28:44] No, God damn it.

[28:47] So anyway, so Thaddeus, he wants to free the Shrike from this prison.

[28:53] But he can't do it with anyone finding out he's involved.

[28:55] So he just gets in his helicopter and fires missiles at it until it blows up.

[28:59] And the Shrike, this is after Valentine goes to the prison, shows up, introduces himself, and goes to see the Shrike in person.

[29:07] So everyone, it just doesn't make sense.

[29:09] Why would he do all that?

[29:10] Hester and Tom, they're out in the wild lands.

[29:13] They're getting, in the wild ways, they're getting put up for a slave auction.

[29:16] But they're freed by, you guessed it, Anna Fang, a Matrix-style freedom fighter with little narrow sunglasses.

[29:24] And she's got a gun and a sword.

[29:26] And she has one of those big fights where all the bad guys try to attack her one by one.

[29:29] And she never runs out of bullets from her weird little pirate rifle shotgun.

[29:33] Yeah, she has like a, she kind of has like a Vash the Stampede type thing going on from Trigun.

[29:38] Yeah.

[29:39] Like she's, and she's in, I mean, this is a.

[29:41] In that she wears a coat that looks like it's made out of plastic.

[29:43] Yeah, like a bright red high collared coat.

[29:45] She's got giant hair and she's like spinning guns and stuff.

[29:48] And her name's out of a They Might Be Giants song.

[29:51] Exactly.

[29:51] Oh, yeah.

[29:54] And so, Dan, this was obviously your favorite character, right?

[29:57] Anna Fang?

[29:57] You know, like, again, there's not really a lot of energy put into making this person interesting.

[30:07] She looks pretty cool, though.

[30:09] Yeah, but the idea was just, I think she's one of these people where...

[30:13] She's got those little sunglasses.

[30:14] Yes, but I think the idea for this character...

[30:16] And everybody else is super, like, dirty and covered in dirt, but she's, like, bright and fresh.

[30:22] And, Dan, they did do the job of casting an Asian woman in the part, which this movie takes as a character.

[30:28] Like, when we know who her character is, she's Asian.

[30:32] No, but what I was going to say was, like, it's one of these characters where they think it's cool just to make her steely all the time.

[30:39] Yeah, like Steely Dan, your favorite band, because it's got Dan in the name.

[30:42] Yeah, and I'm a 41-year-old man.

[30:44] Yeah.

[30:44] Look, the Venn diagram fits.

[30:47] It all overlaps.

[30:48] Yeah, you're either going to listen to Steely Dan or Dan Fogelberg.

[30:51] Mm-hmm.

[30:52] uh that's all i have to say about that uh wait no you didn't even finish that was half a sentence

[30:58] then we're texting someone well i just thought i mean like i got interrupted so much that's cool

[31:03] because no i mean you're you only have a limited amount of time to text and we're going to be

[31:06] well i mean if the fifth time i'm interrupted i feel like what i'm set i'm trying to say it's

[31:13] not actually valued by the group so i gave up well of course it's not but it's not by me dan

[31:18] no that's what brendan is okay because he values it and he's your favorite co-host right now because

[31:22] see his name as dan no it's just what i what i'm saying before is like the characters are not

[31:26] developed they're given one thing her thing is emotionless which is the least interesting thing

[31:32] so but she's like good at fighting and stuff yeah i will uh dan i think you're gonna like her a lot

[31:38] more because she's about to take them on her airship to air haven the floating pirate city

[31:42] staffed by young attractive multi multi-ethnic freedom fighters with goggles on their heads

[31:47] now this is when

[31:49] we first start to see

[31:50] people who are not

[31:50] British in the movie

[31:51] yeah I was really

[31:52] hoping like

[31:53] Porco Rosso

[31:54] was going to show up

[31:55] or

[31:55] I mean that would

[31:58] have been a

[31:58] such a better movie

[32:00] at this point

[32:00] this movie should

[32:01] just become

[32:01] Ready Player One

[32:02] and just be pulling

[32:02] in characters

[32:03] from other movies

[32:04] since that's what

[32:04] they want so badly

[32:05] you just send

[32:05] Shrike and Porco Rosso

[32:06] off on an adventure

[32:07] together and we're set

[32:08] that would be fantastic

[32:09] also can I say that

[32:10] like every air city

[32:12] since Cloud City

[32:13] in Empire Strikes Back

[32:15] has had to have

[32:16] these kind of like

[32:17] uh like basically electronic stalactites on the bottom of them like antennae coming down the

[32:25] bottom and like that's great it's a great design but what why have we decided that's the thing

[32:29] you know come on do it yeah why didn't you carry over the ugnots yeah more which is kind of like

[32:36] porco rosa basically yeah it is that they're the porco rossos of the star wars universe let me a

[32:42] true story oh man i was showing sammy empire strikes back and he could not wait for the

[32:46] Ugnaughts to be honest. And I think

[32:48] he was disappointed that they have relatively little

[32:50] screen time. And when they're there

[32:53] they're unpleasant.

[32:53] And they're also very

[32:56] unpleasant and they're basically like

[32:58] if you met an Oompa Loompa in real life you'd be like

[33:00] whoa, this is

[33:01] weird. This guy is

[33:04] not cool. And do you think the Ugnaughts are singing in

[33:06] their own language? They are. So to pull

[33:08] back the curtain on detours, weirdly enough

[33:11] we, yes

[33:12] the Ugnaughts very much are singing in their own language.

[33:15] Okay.

[33:15] We did an entire episode where it was the Ugnaughts are basically the most obnoxious species, according to George Lucas.

[33:20] They were intended to be aggressive and obnoxious.

[33:22] So we did an episode about how they're really shitty roommates.

[33:24] And what they're actually trying to talk about is their ska band.

[33:28] I'm not kidding you.

[33:29] This actually is an episode of TV that will never air.

[33:31] Man, I want to see it so badly.

[33:33] Guys, we're going to have to break into the Lucasfilm vault and steal that stuff, along with the original salacious grum puppet for my own personal use.

[33:42] I mean, is it literally in the Disney vault now that it's all been bought by Disney?

[33:46] Oh, no, no.

[33:47] It's all up in San Rafael in Northern California.

[33:50] So, Dan, I think it's finally time for you to break out that pair of stretchy pants you bought from the entrapment set.

[33:57] Costume and set sale.

[33:59] When they were auctioning off all the props and costumes for entrapment.

[34:03] And Dan was like, if they can make Catherine Zeta-Jones' butt look that good, they'll do wonders on my butt.

[34:09] And it's like, Dan, her butt already looks great.

[34:11] I understand you don't know how butts work.

[34:12] He's like, I thought it was the lasers that did that.

[34:16] That was, we've talked about it many years ago on the podcast,

[34:20] how amazing it is that that movie was essentially sold

[34:22] on one shot of a main actress's butt.

[34:24] That was the shot in the,

[34:27] I'm surprised that wasn't the poster.

[34:28] It was just her butt under a laser beam.

[34:31] Which brings me to a movie pitch, guys.

[34:35] It's called Laser Butt.

[34:36] You'd think it's about someone who can fart lasers,

[34:39] and you'd be right.

[34:41] Now, who should we cast in this movie?

[34:42] It's not a comedy, keep in mind.

[34:44] It's a tense political thriller.

[34:45] Catherine Zeta-Jones is age-appropriate now to be the mentor figure who trains the younger chosen laser butt.

[34:51] Okay, but who would be the young laser butt?

[34:53] Dan, you're a perv.

[34:54] Well, I don't have an answer for this, but as long as we're talking about butts, I do want to say, like, spoiler alert.

[35:00] At the end of this movie, Hugo Weaving gets crushed by his own city, and my girlfriend turned to me and was like,

[35:08] So if you had an ironic death, what would it be?

[35:11] And I'm like, probably crushed by a giant butt.

[35:13] Ironic death or the death you chose?

[35:17] Yeah, a little from column A, a little from column B.

[35:21] So anyway, we're going to learn, they're in Airhaven,

[35:24] and we learn the story of how Shrike found Hester as a girl,

[35:27] raised her, and she promised that one day he could make her into a robot like him.

[35:31] And then she decided, I don't want to be a robot.

[35:33] And she left and he got mad.

[35:34] Shrike attacks Airhaven.

[35:35] You know it's going to happen.

[35:36] There's a big fight.

[35:38] And it ends when Shrike sees that Hester loves Tom and forgives her and gives her a locket from her mom and shuts down while remembering his memories of her as a child.

[35:46] And this all happens just in time for it to be too late because Airhaven is crashing and on fire.

[35:50] Yeah, it's like, why don't you have this realization that you're going to turn good before you destroy this whole city?

[35:55] Yeah, and also it's one of those things.

[35:57] No, go on. Sorry.

[35:59] No, no, just that he notices that they're in love in the way of like similar to the principal noticing that that girl is in real trouble in the book of Henry where he just kind of looks into her eyes and like sees her emotions straight through.

[36:11] Well, this was another thing that made me really angry watching the movie where I'm just like, what have we been given to show these two being in love other than the fact that they are the male and female leads of a movie?

[36:23] Like, she kind of warms to him in that she doesn't let him die over the course of the film.

[36:29] But there's another that shows that they, like, have some sort of connection.

[36:32] Well, yeah, she could have cut him loose when he was hanging from a rope, but instead she threw the knife to him.

[36:37] Yeah, I guess that's love, guys.

[36:39] And the power of love allowed him to catch it.

[36:40] Yeah.

[36:41] Yeah.

[36:42] Now, don't you think she would suffer some kind of consequences from these air pirates for, like, knowing that this Shrike dude was chasing her

[36:51] and she led him right to air haven and then air haven was exploded uh you'd think so but they

[36:57] don't even have time to talk about that because uh-oh thaddeus found tom's cache of old tech and

[37:02] he's used it to rebuild the medusa and it turns out when he killed hester's mom the tech she found

[37:07] was the medusa control system oh no he's got it working kills the lord mayor of london with just

[37:13] an uzi yeah in uh and he doesn't even have a cool he doesn't even have a cool catchphrase line right

[37:18] It's actually shockingly graphic and direct, that execution.

[37:21] Yeah.

[37:21] What is Mortal Engines?

[37:24] You know what?

[37:25] That's true.

[37:25] When the movie's got mortal in the title, you know there's probably going to be combat.

[37:28] And it's going to be spelled with a K, and that K stands for a home run.

[37:31] I assume he's going to freeze the room.

[37:33] Oh, yeah, that's right.

[37:35] So, guys, what Mortal Kombat characters would you wish were in the movie, maybe instead of Strike?

[37:39] Or Shrike, I should say.

[37:40] Strike is another character in the movie.

[37:42] I was more of a Street Fighter guy, so I actually don't know the Mortal Kombat characters that well.

[37:45] Cool, yeah.

[37:46] You're more into, like, spacing and poking and all that sort of stuff.

[37:50] It's just a true fact about me.

[37:52] I'm just saying.

[37:53] No, no, it is the most Dan moment for me to be like, hey, what's the character from a

[37:58] video game you like as a goof?

[38:00] And you're like, um, no, and I don't know that video game.

[38:04] But I don't know the character.

[38:04] What am I supposed to do?

[38:05] I mean, dude, there's a guy named Raiden in it.

[38:07] All right, I'll make up one.

[38:08] Strike Knife is my favorite.

[38:12] Well, I mean, there is a guy named Striker.

[38:16] Maybe that's who Dan's talking about.

[38:17] And here's Scorpion who throws a strike knife.

[38:19] That's actually true, yeah.

[38:20] Wait, is Ice Sub-Zero?

[38:23] Sub-Zero, yep.

[38:24] That's a character.

[38:24] Yep, he's one of the originals.

[38:26] His name?

[38:26] Yeah, okay.

[38:27] He's one of the OGs of MK.

[38:29] I'll go with Goro because everything should have four arms.

[38:34] It's just more fun that way, so yeah.

[38:36] Yeah, I'm going to go with Newt Saibot.

[38:38] That's his tagline.

[38:39] I mean, I do have four arms.

[38:41] I don't know what you're talking about.

[38:43] Everything's more fun with four arms.

[38:44] Oh, yeah, Dan, you have four arms.

[38:46] That's true.

[38:46] on your arms anyway yeah that's a pun guys yeah so anyway he's got that medusa working and now

[38:54] he's going to attack shanguo shanguo turns out to be kind of this vaguely pan-asian kind of tailspin

[38:59] only angels have wings 1930s temple of doom early scenes type place and uh the mayor of shanguo is

[39:06] like a a wise old man in robes with a some kind of magic amulet that i kept assuming was going to

[39:11] shoot lasers but it maybe it was just he won the in the olympics i don't know in the last olympics

[39:15] for the 60-minute war.

[39:16] There's a big fight between London

[39:18] and the Shanguo Air Fleet,

[39:19] which is made up of, as Dan said,

[39:21] a lot of crazy old Da Vinci helicopters

[39:24] and 30s seaplanes and things like that.

[39:26] And this scene, it should be really cool, right, guys?

[39:29] Well, I mean, it's just him blasting the walls

[39:33] with a giant laser, right?

[39:35] I mean, it's basically just like

[39:39] the opening of Empire Strikes Back, right?

[39:43] Yeah.

[39:43] Oh, well, we're going to get to see the closing

[39:45] of both Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi later,

[39:48] so it makes sense.

[39:48] So Hester realizes, mom's locket,

[39:52] it has the shutdown key for the Medusa system in it.

[39:54] How has she not found this before now?

[39:57] Well, Shrike had the amulet for a while, I think.

[40:00] Oh, okay, right.

[40:01] But it does take her a long time to open it up to that point.

[40:04] What the fuck?

[40:04] Why does she have a fucking locket with this in it?

[40:10] Like, why?

[40:11] To keep it out of the hands of Thaddeus Valentine, the villain.

[40:15] I give all of my weapons keys to my children in jewelry.

[40:18] It is a very time-tested parenting method.

[40:21] You'll understand when you have kids.

[40:23] 20 to 30 years ago, Hugo Weaving was like,

[40:27] oh, someday I want to use a Medusa thing,

[40:29] and I realized that this could shut it down,

[40:31] so I've got to get it away from this woman,

[40:34] and I'll burn the house down and injure her daughter

[40:37] in the course of getting it back because I need it for something.

[40:40] I don't think he knows that the shutdown key exists.

[40:44] It's more like, I've got to keep this away from Hugo Weaving.

[40:47] I better give it to a child, because out of the mouths of babes comes mostly vomit.

[40:51] But why does she know it's a thing that needs to be kept from Hugo Weaving?

[40:54] Why does Hugo Weaving, what is going on?

[40:56] Because he's Hugo Weaving, Dan.

[40:57] She's like, weren't you the Red Skull?

[41:00] And he's like, yes, but they didn't give me much to do with the character.

[41:03] So I didn't come back.

[41:04] They got a lookalike for later on, a soundalike.

[41:08] But man, he does that accent so well in that movie.

[41:11] Oh man, it's like a weird Austrian-specific accent.

[41:13] That's great.

[41:14] So Thaddeus, what were you going to say, Stuart?

[41:16] Yeah, I mean, I'm going to jump ahead to one of the later reveals, of course, that Thaddeus Valentine is Hester Shaw's father, which should surprise no one, especially her.

[41:29] She should be like, oh, yeah, of course, that makes sense.

[41:31] But it seems then looking back, it's like, wow, they jumped to murder, like murdering each other super fast.

[41:39] yeah in the scene where they're remembering her them finding the medusa control box and then they

[41:45] immediately start like setting stuff on fire and blasting each other in the face yeah i mean that's

[41:51] the special relationship that dads and daughters have and brendan yeah as the father daughters

[41:55] someday you'll have that where you're both trying to kill each other uh cluso and kato style that i

[42:00] won't it's not someday i believe i currently have that with my twin daughters oh wow i mean it starts

[42:04] yeah with them leaving out little toys for you to trip on exactly uh surprising me by jumping on me

[42:09] to wake me up in the middle of the night, sure.

[42:10] That's terrible.

[42:11] No, they know that the only way to prevent me

[42:14] trying to murder them and their mother later

[42:15] is to try to murder me first.

[42:17] So, I mean, it tracks.

[42:19] It's the airtight plotting of this movie.

[42:21] I think that's all in Paul Reiser's book

[42:25] about being a parent.

[42:26] Exactly, yeah.

[42:27] Mortal fatherhood.

[42:29] Mortal fatherhood.

[42:30] So, anyway, the Shanguo fleet, it's too late.

[42:34] Medusa blows up the wall.

[42:35] So many CGI buildings destroyed.

[42:37] The air pilots take Hester to shut down Medusa, while Tom takes a ridiculously long time to change his jacket into an aviator's jacket.

[42:44] And it's like they're getting on the plane to leave, and he's still slowly reaching out to take this jacket.

[42:50] He will, of course, live his dream of being an aviator, even though I think he has no experience flying.

[42:55] Yeah, which I was going to say, by the way, just as a quick digression bump me, that was ridiculous that all the characters treated this as like, you finally get to be the aviator, Tom.

[43:03] I'm like, no, this was a childhood interest I took it as.

[43:06] I wanted to be a vet.

[43:08] I shouldn't perform surgery on a cat.

[43:09] That was a terrible, terrible thing.

[43:12] Sometimes we get to live our childhood dreams.

[43:14] When I was a kid, I wanted to leave my house.

[43:18] And I did eventually.

[43:19] Wow, fair enough.

[43:19] Yeah, so I wanted to run away.

[43:21] And the way I ran away was I grew up.

[43:23] You know, isn't growing up a little bit kind of running away from your past?

[43:26] Dan, have you ever ran away from something?

[43:29] Because there's a tiger right behind you.

[43:33] It's okay, it's Tony the Tiger

[43:36] He just wants to serve you some Frosted Flakes

[43:38] But right behind him is a cheetah

[43:40] Oh, it's okay, it's Chester Cheetah

[43:43] He just wants to give you some delicious Cheetos

[43:44] But right behind him is a lion

[43:45] I don't know how to feel about it after those last two ones

[43:50] It's a fucking real lion, Dan

[43:53] You gotta run

[43:53] No, just kidding

[43:55] He just wants to tell you about the MGM UA Library of Film Titles

[43:58] And that Ars Gratis Artis

[44:01] But watch out, behind him there's an alligator

[44:04] Okay, well

[44:05] I'm just sort of tired of this

[44:07] Think of possible alligators it can be

[44:09] Let's see, is it

[44:11] Albert Alligator from Pogo?

[44:13] That's a weird one, but okay

[44:14] It was Albert Alligator, you're right, he's smoking a little cigar stub

[44:17] And he's got a little hat on sometimes

[44:19] And he's talking in a dialect that I'm not sure

[44:22] If it's offensive now or not

[44:23] But I certainly feel weird when I'm reading it out loud to my children

[44:26] Yeah, I don't think it's meant to be like an ethnic thing

[44:28] I think it's just, you know

[44:29] Dialect

[44:31] Just mint.

[44:31] Like pogo dialect.

[44:33] I think that's all it is.

[44:34] Okay.

[44:36] Well, I'll tell people that when they get mad at me about it.

[44:38] Okay, so Tom changes jacket.

[44:40] There's a big air fight.

[44:41] All these pilots we just met get killed.

[44:43] It's kind of like the end of Star Wars that way where they're like,

[44:45] hey, remember all those characters you've been watching this whole movie?

[44:47] Forget about them.

[44:48] It's time for Porkins and Biggs and Red Five to take the center stage.

[44:53] Anna Fang has a hand-to-hand battle with Thaddeus Valentine,

[44:57] which ends with her dead.

[44:59] Uh-oh.

[45:00] looks like the fang got bit hester she plugs in the kill drive and stops the machine before it

[45:05] can fire again and the people who lived outside the wall of shangwa were like too little too late

[45:09] hester but thanks appreciate it and kate shows up and she's mad at her dad and her dad has now

[45:14] reached that level of movie villainhood where he no longer cares if he lives or dies he just wants

[45:18] to destroy his enemies so he's like i'm gonna smash london right into the wall to keep destroying it

[45:22] and it's like that's crazy why would you do that like i don't understand uh thaddeus runs away

[45:27] hester catches up to him and there's the reveal as stewart mentioned that he's her dad meanwhile

[45:32] tom tim that's where they he flies a plane into london's guts to blow up the gears to stop it

[45:36] and then flies out followed by flame that's right they stole the endings of empire strikes back and

[45:41] return of the jedi as i mentioned they put him into one movie so this movie must be twice as

[45:46] good as either of those movies guys do you agree with that movie math i mean it checks out yeah

[45:51] Yeah, there is a remainder, but it mostly works.

[45:53] How many Empire Strikes Backs do you think Mortal Engines is worth, Dan?

[45:59] One-eighteenth of one.

[46:03] Wow.

[46:04] I'm going to have to check the worldwide box office before I can tell you that one.

[46:09] I mean, then it's actually probably like one-one-thousandth.

[46:12] But what about Return of the Jedi, Dan?

[46:14] One-thirteenth.

[46:16] Okay, what about the Star Wars Holiday Special?

[46:19] Oh, boy.

[46:19] They're about par.

[46:20] Wow.

[46:21] Okay.

[46:23] Wow.

[46:23] Okay.

[46:24] Hester's dad, Thaddeus, is like, so let's just kill each other.

[46:28] That's what we're supposed to do, right?

[46:30] And Hester goes, no, I choose life.

[46:31] And she jumps onto the rope ladder to Tim's airship or whatever.

[46:34] And Hugo Weaving gets in his ship.

[46:37] Tim shoots down Hugo Weaving's ship, which crashes.

[46:40] Hugo's okay.

[46:41] Tim immediately gets fucking bloodthirsty there.

[46:43] He's like, you're fired.

[46:44] And then he shoots a missile at him.

[46:48] I'm like, wow, you know, it takes a lot to kill a man.

[46:51] And he can, like, look him right in the eyes from where he's shooting that missile.

[46:54] That's crazy.

[46:55] He's cold-blooded.

[46:56] Especially weird after his girlfriend of a day is like, no, I won't kill you.

[47:02] And he's like, hey, babe, I'll take care of this one.

[47:04] Was she maybe like, no, no, he's my dad, he's my dad.

[47:07] Okay.

[47:07] Oh, boy, this is going to be awkward.

[47:09] And then, as mentioned, Hugo Weaving is crushed under London's tank's treads.

[47:14] So ironic.

[47:15] London crawling.

[47:17] Did you say London crawling?

[47:19] I did.

[47:19] What I like is you said it so quiet because you were both proud of it and ashamed of it.

[47:23] I wasn't really sure I wanted to commit to it.

[47:26] If they don't like this, I can pretend I didn't say it.

[47:27] If they do like it, then I'm like, cool for saying it so little.

[47:30] Yeah, I guess London was crawling to the faraway town, Shanguo.

[47:34] Because war is declared and the Medusa rains down.

[47:39] Yeah, calling to the underworld, which I assume would be the people who live in the tank treads.

[47:44] Get out of the cupboards, you boys and girls.

[47:46] Cupboards, of course, being Air Haven.

[47:47] Yeah, yeah.

[47:48] Or is it Covers?

[47:49] Get under the Covers.

[47:51] Get under the Covers?

[47:52] Oh, boy.

[47:52] Turns out I don't know the lyrics to London Calling as well as I thought.

[47:55] The point is Joe Strummer is trying to warn us.

[47:57] Yes, about Mortal Engines.

[47:58] Guys, Shanguo, the mayor, is super cool.

[48:03] He's like, people of London, come and join us.

[48:04] And Tim and Hester, they kiss finally and fly off planning to travel the world together.

[48:08] And we're left with some questions.

[48:10] Will the world of Mortal Engines be okay?

[48:13] Will someone else find the Medusa Drive?

[48:14] Will their two-day-old relationship survive being on a small plane with no bathroom for as soon as week's on end?

[48:20] I guess we'll find out in Mortal Legends 2 Summer Vacation.

[48:24] Okay.

[48:25] Let's just speed on to Final Judgments on this.

[48:29] Whether it's a good, bad—

[48:30] Let's drive our city tanks over to Final Judgments.

[48:33] It's a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie you kind of like.

[48:35] I want to say—I'll start off.

[48:38] I feel like, actually, my girlfriend made the most salient critique of this while we were watching.

[48:44] You know, I mentioned her a lot, but we watched the movies together.

[48:47] So if she makes a good point, I want to pass it on.

[48:49] And it's...

[48:52] This is an awful lot of backstory and explanation for what she's about to say.

[48:56] What is this, the opening 20 minutes of Mortal Engines?

[49:00] Well, she made the point that, like, you know, this movie is obviously trying to be this big fantasy epic like a Star Wars or something like that.

[49:11] But what it doesn't realize is those movies don't actually have a ton of action overall.

[49:18] Like a lot of it is the anticipation of action.

[49:21] You're saying they're edging us.

[49:24] The Star Wars movies are edging us a lot.

[49:25] Well, like they have less than kind of like you imagine.

[49:28] Like as they go along, I think like each progressive sequel does have more action in it.

[49:34] But that's because you've already learned the world.

[49:37] you've learned the characters so there's more room to just skip to that stuff but like a lot

[49:42] of it is the anticipation of action this has no anticipation of action it like thinks that you

[49:47] want shit thrown at you every single second which doesn't leave time to learn about characters or

[49:53] their motivations and i sort of assumed while watching it that this was a uh as we've said

[50:01] this is based on a series of young adult novels and i sort of assumed it had so much plot i was

[50:07] like okay they probably took multiple novels and boiled it down and i looked on wikipedia i was

[50:12] reading summaries of the novels like no this is basically the first book they made a lot of

[50:17] changes in the second half but it's basically the first book and uh it's written by fran wash and

[50:22] philip aboyans and i think maybe peter jackson himself i'm not sure but like the script is the

[50:28] script and you know obviously they're the team who did lord of the rings of the hobbit and people

[50:34] critic criticized the hobbit for taking a fairly simple book and expanding it into three movies

[50:40] this is one case where i wish they'd taken one book and expanded it into three movies like i

[50:45] actually wish they'd done the same hobbit thing here because there's so much shit going on i

[50:49] think it would have worked better if it had more time to breathe yeah bad is what i'm saying yeah

[50:54] when i was watching it i was i was like knowing that this is the first book in a series and

[50:59] knowing it was made by it was you know made by the people who made the lord of the rings trilogy

[51:04] it made me think about like what makes what was some of the things that made fellowship of the

[51:09] ring work so well as a first movie and parts of it are like aside from the opening you don't have

[51:15] any other big battles like you have some fun like you have action sequences but like it doesn't end

[51:21] with like a big like armies facing off against each other blasting lasers at each other um and

[51:27] you it does take the time to build the like develop these characters um also part of the

[51:32] problem with this movie is so much of the just why like why should i care about any of it or

[51:38] anybody like what are their beliefs what why should i care about the people of london should

[51:44] i hate them should i care about hester shaw i mean her only motivation is revenge and that's

[51:51] a relatively thin motivation

[51:54] and she, I don't

[51:56] know. No, you're right.

[51:57] Yeah, like it's all true.

[52:00] Yeah, there's a lack of

[52:01] character and a lack of reason to like it.

[52:03] Dan, my wife was watching with me

[52:06] and Brennan and she made an interesting comment which was

[52:08] she fell asleep about

[52:10] 30 minutes in. Well, I have to say

[52:11] for once I watched this in two parts because

[52:14] we were watching it. I started

[52:16] falling asleep and

[52:18] she was like, honey, we can watch this

[52:20] uh the second half tomorrow if you gotta take a nap very wise you're just so worn out from all

[52:26] the excitement uh so i'm gonna say that it's also bad bad there's a lot of neat looking stuff in it

[52:30] but it's they it's like they yeah they they forgot to give us characters or a plot that we would care

[52:38] about brendan i know you're gonna say something different i'm gonna go out on a ledge here

[52:41] no it's bad bad it's super boring um but the my main hope or takeaway after it was i wish a

[52:47] different peter jackson had shown up i wish it was some other guy with the same name yeah absolutely

[52:52] give that guy a chance um no but like the peter jackson of like dead alive of like frighteners

[52:58] of or meet the feebles even basically who would take a crazy concept and make it fun because all

[53:03] the other problems wouldn't have also mattered to me as much like if i couldn't explain it but

[53:07] it was at least fun it was so somber and serious there was no joy to be had in a movie that is

[53:13] about cities on tank treads eating other cities which i'm sure is the reason he bought the rights

[53:18] to make that book into a movie right like and and the thing about the thing about peter like i've

[53:25] been thinking about this a lot because there is that like dream that peter jackson's just going

[53:29] to make another fun like low budget movie but i feel like he's become i'm he's become such a like

[53:35] industry now that like if he were to make a small movie he like he would not be able to hire as many

[53:42] of the people

[53:43] that relied on him.

[53:44] Thousands of people

[53:45] would be out of work

[53:46] if he decided to make

[53:46] Bad Taste 2

[53:47] or something like that.

[53:48] Although I wonder if

[53:50] now that you mentioned

[53:51] him buying the rights

[53:51] to the book

[53:52] I wonder if he was like

[53:52] get me that YA book

[53:53] The Mortal Something

[53:54] and he wanted

[53:55] Mortal Instruments

[53:55] City of Bones

[53:56] and they brought him

[53:57] this one

[53:57] and he was like

[53:58] this wasn't the

[53:59] like when you tell

[54:00] your grandma

[54:00] like oh get me

[54:01] that Avengers movie

[54:02] and she comes back

[54:03] with the generic

[54:04] like the Avengers

[54:06] like the rip off

[54:08] and you're like

[54:08] grandma.

[54:09] I'm sure this is

[54:10] just as good.

[54:11] In fact I think

[54:12] that's what happened peter jackson sent his grandma out to go buy the rights and she got

[54:16] the wrong rights oh grammy jackson doesn't know yeah going into a bullseye interview i know it's

[54:28] somebody who does amazing work but it's an actual conversation i don't know where it's headed

[54:33] absolutely you're absolutely right you said it actually better than i did so i have to think

[54:39] about what that means hey these are this is this is the straight talk that you're going to get on

[54:45] this show bullseye creators you know creators you need to know find it at maximumfun.org

[54:51] or wherever you get podcasts

[54:53] hi i'm biz and i'm theresa and we host one bad mother a comedy podcast about parenting

[55:01] whether you are a parent or just know kids exist in the world join us each week as we honestly

[55:07] share what it's like to be a parent.

[55:09] These are really hard questions.

[55:11] They are really hard questions.

[55:11] I don't have any answers for them.

[55:13] I don't either.

[55:14] Sack of garbage.

[55:15] I know.

[55:15] The end of the show will just be five minutes of Liz and Teresa crying and screaming until

[55:26] the outro is played.

[55:27] So join us each week as we judge less, laugh more, and remind you that you are doing a

[55:32] great job.

[55:34] Find us on MaximumFun.org, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[55:39] All right.

[55:40] Let's move along to a few sponsors.

[55:43] Before we talk about our regular sponsors, I was wondering if we could let Brendan talk a little bit about the new season of Harvey Girls Forever on Netflix now.

[55:52] Thank you very much.

[55:53] Yeah.

[55:53] Starting November 12th and any time thereafter, season three of Harvey Girls Forever will be streaming on Netflix.

[56:00] It's the third season about our show, which is about Audrey, Lotta, and Dot, three classic

[56:06] Harvey Comics characters reimagined for modern audiences, and their goal is just to make

[56:12] their block the best place to ever have a childhood.

[56:15] It's trying to keep the feeling of that time between when you left school and before you

[56:19] went home for dinner alive forever.

[56:21] We try to keep it relatable for all kids and adults, and a lot of jokes for people of all

[56:26] ages, especially the episodes written by Elliot here.

[56:29] oh yeah there's two written by me yeah one of them does feature a judas pre-style song about a

[56:35] trove of deadly toys that were pulled from the market um but yeah season three has just

[56:40] premiered where we add richie rich uh far and away the biggest name out of the harvey comics

[56:44] characters uh he joins our cast for this season uh voiced by jack quaid from the boys uh he's

[56:50] super hilarious and really fun and we reimagined him also so now he's a self-made child billionaire

[56:54] and, yeah, just, I think, a pretty fun character

[56:57] and, yeah, we have some good comedy folk always in there.

[57:00] Lauren Lapkus is our star and we've got Danny Pudi

[57:03] and this season we've got Kristen Chenoweth and Anna Camp

[57:06] and a whole lot of really funny people coming by

[57:08] and having a good time with us.

[57:09] It's a really fun show and I like it a lot

[57:11] and my children like it a lot

[57:12] and I think you'll like it a lot, too.

[57:14] And if enough people watch,

[57:16] maybe you'll finally get that season

[57:17] where you can bring baby Huey in.

[57:19] That has been our dream the entire time.

[57:21] I think, actually, oh, you know what?

[57:23] I don't want to spoil, but I'll say astute watchers to season three, perhaps there is

[57:28] some baby Huey Easter eggs in there.

[57:30] Which will be huge eggs.

[57:31] It's ginormous eggs.

[57:32] An enormous bird.

[57:33] Now, I apologize for not actually previously being familiar with the show, but I have to

[57:39] ask.

[57:39] So it's based on these Harvey Comics characters.

[57:42] Have you expanded the character of Dot?

[57:48] Because if I recall, her whole thing was just that she liked polka dots.

[57:51] Yes.

[57:53] No, that was absolutely our – Audrey, thankfully – Audrey actually pretty much worked as is.

[57:57] Dot, we expanded to be – she is very, very precise and exacting about everything.

[58:03] So to her, it was like the dot is the most perfect thing ever because it's a perfect circle.

[58:06] So it's something she always strives for and loves, but it's more of just an exacting character.

[58:11] And then she starts seeing dots everywhere, and then those dots become spirals, and then her body starts growing into a spiral.

[58:19] Yeah, yeah.

[58:20] It's called Uzumaki Girls Forever, yeah?

[58:22] Yeah.

[58:23] And then she meets Spiral and goes to the Mojoverse, and yeah.

[58:26] Whoa.

[58:26] It's a pretty cool crossover.

[58:28] Spiral is one of those X-Men characters that I love, and I don't know why,

[58:31] because I've never read a story where she's been any really good in it.

[58:34] She's a cool design.

[58:34] She's got that weird samurai helmet and all those arms.

[58:37] And six arms, yeah.

[58:38] And those furry boots, boots with the fur, apple-bottom jeans.

[58:41] Spiral gets low, low, low.

[58:43] And then, yeah, Lata, we took basically Lata as is, but made it her.

[58:48] She has an appetite for life and for love and for passion

[58:51] and took out the fact that every comic

[58:54] basically just had jokes about her eating giant sandwiches.

[58:56] Save that for Dagwood.

[58:58] Look, it's his bit.

[59:01] I don't want to steal it.

[59:02] Okay.

[59:03] All right.

[59:04] Well, thank you for that.

[59:05] Yeah, thank you guys.

[59:06] Moving on to sponsors.

[59:08] I do want to say I don't feel like we acknowledge this enough

[59:12] outside of the Max Fund Drive,

[59:14] but the Flophouse is supported overwhelmingly

[59:17] by listeners like you who choose to donate at MaximumFund.org,

[59:21] But we also have some corporate sponsors this week.

[59:24] The Flophouse is sponsored in part by Squarespace.

[59:27] A dream is just a great idea that doesn't have a website yet.

[59:32] Make it a reality with Squarespace.

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[59:47] Squarespace helps by doing, by giving you, by doing you, by giving you.

[59:52] I mean, some websites are about doing you, but then they help.

[59:56] And they help in a way, yeah.

[59:58] They help one thing.

[59:59] Squarespace has a beautiful, customizable, mobile-optimized templates created by world-class designers,

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[1:00:14] Check out squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code FLOP to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[1:00:26] Guys, I had an idea for a website, and I was wondering if Squarespace might be able to help.

[1:00:32] It was inspired by this movie that we're talking about.

[1:00:34] So we're all worried that at some point a city's just going to come along and eat us, right?

[1:00:40] We saw it in the movie.

[1:00:41] It's pretty scary.

[1:00:42] Like what if Pittsburgh just comes – you've heard of the fish that ate Pittsburgh.

[1:00:45] And the car that ate Paris.

[1:00:46] Oh, boy.

[1:00:47] Well, what if Paris was eating cars and Pittsburgh was eating fish?

[1:00:49] Oh, no.

[1:00:49] And Paris was burning?

[1:00:50] Was it a fish that saved – well, I mean, Paris is burning in the dance floors of the world.

[1:00:56] But what if there was a way to track these cities and to know where they're coming from?

[1:01:02] That's why I've got citytracker.com.

[1:01:05] That's the idea.

[1:01:05] It tells you where every city is located whenever you check just in case they might have moved.

[1:01:11] And you can put a tracker on any city in the world, and it'll tell you if that city has moved and gotten closer to you, so you know to get out of its way.

[1:01:17] Now, what if you were in one of the cities?

[1:01:19] Your phone would explode.

[1:01:22] Fair enough.

[1:01:23] If you're using it on your phone.

[1:01:25] If it's on your laptop, the laptop would explode.

[1:01:27] So you're partially subsidized by a venture capitalist firm who makes money off of people having to buy new phones.

[1:01:32] Yes, it's called Apple.

[1:01:35] And so I hope maybe Squarespace will help me get this so that it can scale to all different types of explodable media or platforms.

[1:01:43] So anyway, that's citytracker.com.

[1:01:45] Look out for it so you'll always know where cities are.

[1:01:47] I have been looking for some cities lately, so thank you.

[1:01:50] Yeah, no problem.

[1:01:51] Dan, what's next after Squarespace?

[1:01:54] I believe I sent you a couple of jumbotrons.

[1:01:57] Oh, jumbotrons.

[1:01:59] That's right.

[1:02:00] I've certainly got one.

[1:02:01] This message is for Rusty.

[1:02:05] This message is from Haley.

[1:02:06] Happy 40th birthday.

[1:02:08] I hope this message finds you sometime around November 7th.

[1:02:13] But if not, oh well.

[1:02:15] You're still getting a shout out on one of the greatest podcasts of all time.

[1:02:20] You'll always be the bikini to my car wash.

[1:02:24] The castle to my freak.

[1:02:25] And you make every day feel like cage miss.

[1:02:28] Dottie and I love you so much.

[1:02:32] Now, I'm staring down the barrel of the big 4-0 myself, guys,

[1:02:36] so I wish somebody would get such a nice message for me

[1:02:42] on one of my favorite podcasts.

[1:02:44] All right, Stuart, I'll get you a Jumbotron

[1:02:46] on some kind of small-figure painting podcast.

[1:02:51] Thank you.

[1:02:52] I don't know of any, but I'll look it up.

[1:02:53] What?

[1:02:53] Car talk.

[1:02:54] Or car talk, yeah.

[1:02:55] I mean, it's hard to get Jumbotrons right on car talk

[1:02:57] since they just run reruns.

[1:02:58] Yeah, and also Jumbotrons is kind of a specific to MaxFun thing.

[1:03:03] CarTalk's not on MaxFun.

[1:03:05] I mean, it should be.

[1:03:07] To be honest, if you told me that CarTalk, if I didn't know it was a public radio show,

[1:03:12] if you told me it was on MaxFun, I'd be like, oh, yeah, like two crazy guys who are brothers,

[1:03:16] and they talk about cars, but really they kind of talk about whatever,

[1:03:18] and they tell a lot of corny jokes.

[1:03:20] Yeah, that fits on MaxFun.

[1:03:21] That's true.

[1:03:21] Jesse, get on it.

[1:03:23] Get the CarTalk license.

[1:03:24] Okay, I've got a Jumbotron, too.

[1:03:27] This message is for Ollie, and it's from Emily, and it reads,

[1:03:30] Happy anniversary to my sexy science nerd.

[1:03:33] Thank you for the best year of my life.

[1:03:35] You are the most caring, loving, fun person I could have found.

[1:03:37] Parentheses.

[1:03:38] And that ass, though.

[1:03:39] Wow.

[1:03:40] I'm so glad that you accidentally accepted my friend request.

[1:03:43] I'd rather be in a long-distance relationship with you than a short-distance relationship with anyone else.

[1:03:48] So that's for Ollie from Emily.

[1:03:50] A couple of sweet messages from people.

[1:03:52] It's adorable.

[1:03:52] Are there any other plugs?

[1:03:55] We've done our touring for 2019.

[1:03:58] We're in talks for 2020, figuring out where to go.

[1:04:00] We passed the touring test.

[1:04:03] That's when people...

[1:04:04] We do a show and people tell us if it's a computer or not.

[1:04:06] Yeah, it's robot or not, basically.

[1:04:07] Yeah.

[1:04:09] We've plugged Brendan.

[1:04:10] Do you guys have anything?

[1:04:12] Thank you.

[1:04:13] Well...

[1:04:14] At all?

[1:04:15] Anything?

[1:04:16] Well, we can always remind people that there is...

[1:04:18] I mean, yes, there's lots of stuff.

[1:04:20] There's Flophouse merchandise available online.

[1:04:24] Stuart is looking into some new possible things for future shows.

[1:04:27] Yeah, I got my fingers in a lot of pies.

[1:04:29] Merchandise specifically.

[1:04:30] Yeah, merchandise specifically.

[1:04:31] And we just, I don't know.

[1:04:35] You can always go pick up a copy of Horse Meets Dog,

[1:04:37] but we can also move on to the next part of the podcast.

[1:04:39] Sure, I just want to blow over you guys.

[1:04:42] Yeah, give us a chance to strut around like the peacocks that we are.

[1:04:47] Yeah, actually, Dan, blow over me for a second.

[1:04:49] Oh, that feels nice.

[1:04:51] Oh, that feels very nice.

[1:04:54] I don't like this bit.

[1:04:54] It's a 40 days and 40 nights thing.

[1:04:57] Never talk about that movie.

[1:04:58] Alright, this first letter is from

[1:05:03] Julie Lasting Withheld. It's a follow-up

[1:05:06] to a previous letter.

[1:05:07] Julie writes, please accept my

[1:05:10] apologies for the confusing email

[1:05:12] about coming-of-age movies. To clarify,

[1:05:14] what movies can I show my son

[1:05:16] once he becomes a 13-year-old man

[1:05:18] that he would not have seen

[1:05:20] as a mere 12-year-old boy?

[1:05:22] Our secret theme to his bar mitzvah is werewolf bar mitzvah.

[1:05:25] So maybe Ginger Snaps works?

[1:05:26] Love always, Julie.

[1:05:27] And I just want to point out, I correctly interpreted this email.

[1:05:32] Elliot foolishly thought it was about coming-of-age movies.

[1:05:36] So put it on the scoreboard, Stuart.

[1:05:39] You're right.

[1:05:40] I guess you're Danny, champion of the world.

[1:05:42] Okay, and I'm Elliot, the biggest loser.

[1:05:45] It looks like Dan's got a point, and Elliot's got 300 points.

[1:05:52] neck and neck you're getting closer i can feel you nipping at my heels dan to get on the board

[1:05:57] yeah uh so of course it depends this obviously depends on uh when uh when he turns 13 but i

[1:06:05] would say i don't know maybe like star wars rise of skywalker because he wouldn't have been able

[1:06:11] to see it when he was a little guy yeah that's true yeah yeah it's it's it's it's been so hard

[1:06:18] for him to see parasite before he turned 13 uh i reckon you know there's a couple the kinds of

[1:06:23] movies i started watching when i was 13 was like that's when i became a real serious cineast and

[1:06:28] so i'd recommend maybe like hitchcock's movies are good ones to start watching when you're like 13

[1:06:33] but also the ones i plan to show my son when he turns 13 robocop alien taking a pellum one two

[1:06:38] three the violent and swear filled movies that i can't show him now but when he turns 13 god says

[1:06:45] he's a man so i guess it's time for him to watch movies where people's head explodes i just watched

[1:06:48] i just watched a movie that my mom made me watch when i was a little kid because she thought i'd

[1:06:52] love it uh i watched creep show 2 again and uh yeah i don't my rap segment is pretty good otherwise

[1:06:59] yeah i mean it's i mean it's all pretty good but it also like as a kid like i couldn't swim in a

[1:07:04] lake ever yeah uh it is funny my exact pitch on that was going to be horror anthologies actually

[1:07:12] because that was kind of my gateway to horror

[1:07:14] was around 13 and it was like,

[1:07:16] I mean, partially it was the TV show

[1:07:17] like Tales from the Dark Side or Tales from the Crypt

[1:07:19] but it was also like the Tales from the Dark Side movie

[1:07:21] or also then loving the two Creepshow movies.

[1:07:23] I also watched Tales from the Dark Side the movie this week

[1:07:27] and wow, I just love that the college students

[1:07:31] are Christian Slater, Steve Buscemi and Julianne Moore.

[1:07:35] Yeah, if we're talking about movies

[1:07:39] that we watched when we were 13.

[1:07:42] Dan, you answered this question

[1:07:45] the right way last time.

[1:07:46] You don't need to worry about an answer this time.

[1:07:47] No, no, no.

[1:07:47] I was going to say,

[1:07:48] so if you want to do it Dan McCoy style,

[1:07:51] what you got to do is

[1:07:52] you have to,

[1:07:54] you should purchase some premium cable channels,

[1:07:57] preferably at this point in time,

[1:07:59] Showtime.

[1:08:00] Just have them around

[1:08:01] so your son can sneak out late at night

[1:08:04] and watch whatever erotic programming

[1:08:07] is available.

[1:08:09] I feel like episodes of Shameless.

[1:08:10] Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[1:08:12] Yeah, Showtime.

[1:08:13] So it's going to be like Nurse Jackie.

[1:08:14] Ray Donovan gets pretty hot.

[1:08:16] Or, you know, like have it scrambled

[1:08:17] and then like have him hear like an urban legend

[1:08:19] that if you like run it through your VCR,

[1:08:22] it de-scrambles it a little bit.

[1:08:24] Oh, cool.

[1:08:24] Or if you flip back and forth

[1:08:26] between the channels really fast.

[1:08:27] Yeah, you get a few seconds of clarity

[1:08:29] before it goes out.

[1:08:30] You see, Dan, I would have thought you'd say Cinemax.

[1:08:32] The channel that after a certain point

[1:08:35] was just like, this is what we do.

[1:08:36] Yeah, Cinemax is good too.

[1:08:38] HBO has cleared all that stuff off.

[1:08:40] It's trying to pretend it never happened.

[1:08:42] I was talking to somebody about the show Dream On recently,

[1:08:45] and they did not know it had ever existed.

[1:08:47] And I was like, this was HBO's bread and butter for a while.

[1:08:50] It was like a dumb sitcom where ladies took their shirts off.

[1:08:52] That's all they had for a while.

[1:08:54] You know, I just got done watching the first season of The Righteous Gemstones,

[1:08:57] and I feel like they kept the nudity, but it's all dudes' wieners.

[1:09:01] It's all wieners.

[1:09:02] It's all, like, guys with big old bellies with wieners hanging out.

[1:09:07] It's great.

[1:09:08] um that's hbo home ball office uh the second and for this episode the final letter is from

[1:09:15] hannah last name withheld hannah writes dear dan stew and elliot and i guess uh of course brendan

[1:09:22] our guest oh she wrote that how did she know uh you know we gotta ask hannah uh i want to start

[1:09:28] by saying i love your dan she's a child assassin i don't want to get on her bad side uh here's my

[1:09:33] question i did a cool mental exercise recently where i figured out what interests me and a

[1:09:39] character i thought it might be cool for you guys to give it a shot too so think of like three to

[1:09:44] five favorite characters uh from different pieces of media or canons if you like i did 10 but you

[1:09:49] don't have time for that um once you have them all lined up to see lined up see what they have

[1:09:56] in common some of mine were han solo loop from the adventure zone hawkeye from marvel comics

[1:10:03] uh not mcu she's very clear about that and and sherlock holmes take that jeremy renner yeah no

[1:10:10] she's right uh using them and some others i found the thing that i look for are characters who are

[1:10:16] self-determining self sorry self-determining self-actualizing they decide what they're going

[1:10:21] to be slash going to do and they become it or do it good or bad they make their own paths

[1:10:27] rather than following maybe this is too complex a question but i'm really curious as to what draws

[1:10:33] the floppers to characters keep on flopping hannah last name with help um yeah if you don't have

[1:10:41] anything off the bat i i thought about mine i picked um sherlock holmes of course sure like

[1:10:47] hannah did uh scrooge because the thing you like is characters who are addicted to cocaine scrooge

[1:10:52] mcduck yep yes yeah okay cocaine and indiana jones okay and and the things i came up with for those

[1:11:02] are they're kind of like these characters that have this this comfortable normal life

[1:11:09] from the day to day but they cannot be happy unless they're out on adventures

[1:11:15] and also they're all sort of throwback characters in a way I mean obviously like Sherlock Holmes

[1:11:23] is not throwback he's just old but you know Scrooge McDuck is in that tradition of globe

[1:11:29] trotting adventurer and indiana jones is a self-consciously uh old-fashioned uh story also

[1:11:37] my my girlfriend like immediately when i told her these characters she's like oh they're all grumpy

[1:11:43] people who are secretly nice underneath it and i'm like oh i didn't notice that it takes someone

[1:11:48] who spends a lot of time with me to see what i might have in common with these characters that

[1:11:53] would draw me to them yeah but also um a couple of other characters like uh i really like despite

[1:12:00] chris pratt's um weirdness in real life uh and the fact that he was his character was not

[1:12:06] particularly written well outside of the guardians films i think i don't like how he was treated in

[1:12:11] the avengers movies as much i like star star lord a lot and i like han solo obviously a lot and both

[1:12:17] of those are kind of the same uh guy who's secretly very capable but it's also kind of a

[1:12:24] doofus uh and i find that very appealing i don't know about secretly they're always talking about

[1:12:29] how great they are okay not secretly but like well secretly in that like beneath their bragging

[1:12:34] they actually are good at what they do but they're also like just dorks uh yeah yeah let's see uh so

[1:12:41] i'm gonna pick three let's see uh obviously jack burton from big trouble in old china

[1:12:46] good one uh alexis rose from schitt's creek and uh i guess tetsuo shima from akira so let's see

[1:12:55] what do they have interesting all right interesting well they i mean they all have an impeccable sense

[1:13:02] of style uh they have great great hair i mean hair is a big deal um oh yeah tetsuo has fantastic

[1:13:08] uh i think they're you know a little mysterious backgrounds uh but they're also yeah i think

[1:13:14] they're capable uh let's see uh they're they're uh you know they're they're products of the and

[1:13:22] the hostile environment in which they exist that they uh have to they have to deal they have to

[1:13:27] overcome their adversity and they do it kind of you know uh and they're all they're all they have

[1:13:33] magic powers and yeah it's all great wait shits creek yeah you haven't been watching shits creek

[1:13:39] it's crazy it gets greater seasons i guess i have i haven't gotten past the first season yet i guess

[1:13:43] it gets a little different well you gotta catch up uh i picked four characters one of them is a

[1:13:49] kind of a grandfathered in i don't feel the same way about them but i did for such a long time

[1:13:53] those characters spider-man nick charles bugs bunny and hall of famer boba fett and i guess

[1:13:58] thinking about them they all have kind of like uh a certain amount of real competence but also

[1:14:04] confidence in themselves except for spider-man and they've all got super mentioned style they've all

[1:14:07] got their signature look you can identify them by a silhouette uh if the silhouette shows you

[1:14:12] nick charles mustache and also he's holding a whiskey tumbler in his hand uh and except for

[1:14:18] boba fett they're all real talkers and jokesters so who would have thunk it now boba fett of course

[1:14:23] i've talked on the podcast previously about how i liked him when i was a kid because of the fantasy

[1:14:27] of being so cool that uh people were just always in awe of you and also you had wore a mask so no

[1:14:33] one could see your true face but you know what he's kind of a doof when it comes down to it

[1:14:37] since as we've seen the star wars movies he's not very good at his job yeah everyone thinks he's

[1:14:42] great but it turns out he just has a good press agent yeah and a cool helmet yeah i have to assume

[1:14:48] there's like there's some kind of fox news type thing in the star wars universe that's always

[1:14:51] spinning boba fett's failures as huge victories and they're like boba fett showed those rebels

[1:14:57] got knocked into the sarlacc they fell for his trap oh boy he's playing three-dimensional chess

[1:15:03] here although that's a star he's yeah he's like the uh he's like that character king and one punch

[1:15:08] man who everybody thinks is the strongest man

[1:15:10] but he's actually just a guy who

[1:15:12] looks scary

[1:15:13] so Brendan who do you choose

[1:15:16] alright so obviously it was

[1:15:18] Rorschach, John Galt, and Zack Snyder's Superman

[1:15:20] I don't think that says

[1:15:22] anything about me

[1:15:23] oh yikes

[1:15:25] oh boy

[1:15:27] my three I went with

[1:15:30] Raylan Givens the Elmore Leonard

[1:15:32] character from the books Injustified

[1:15:34] Martin Blank from Gross Point Blank

[1:15:36] and yorick brown from why the last man okay um and basically is all would-be smartest men in

[1:15:43] the room type who cover their emotions and humor was what i kind of realized and ultimately most

[1:15:47] at least two of those three are ultimately pretty damaged underneath but all three are slowly trying

[1:15:52] to be a little more self-aware and better and one of them has a pet monkey and one of them does have

[1:15:56] a pet monkey and honestly let's i mean raylan would have been even cooler with a pet monkey

[1:16:00] and the monkey has a gun too and little sunglasses and a hat yeah he's gonna have a hat you know what

[1:16:05] And then they could do another season because it would be about the monkey.

[1:16:07] Oh, my God, yeah.

[1:16:08] Yeah.

[1:16:09] The monkey's traumatic past.

[1:16:10] Yeah, yeah.

[1:16:11] Yeah, exactly.

[1:16:11] Oh, boy.

[1:16:12] Every monkey that you see that is a pet has a traumatic past.

[1:16:15] Nobody recruited that monkey out of college, and the monkey was like,

[1:16:19] yeah, this sounds great.

[1:16:20] I'd love to be your pet.

[1:16:21] Oh, man, you're putting Friends into stark relief right now.

[1:16:24] Well, I mean, it's clear now that Ross in Friends is a bad person, right?

[1:16:30] Yeah, I think society is.

[1:16:31] What?

[1:16:32] There's no monkey who is hanging out in the jungle and is like, I really wish I lived in an apartment in New York and someone else who was not even my species controlled when I ate and where I shat.

[1:16:42] I would love that.

[1:16:43] It just doesn't exist.

[1:16:45] Yeah.

[1:16:45] Okay, Dan, counterpoint.

[1:16:47] Are you why monkeys want to be pets?

[1:16:49] They like grinding organs or dancing to organs that are ground.

[1:16:55] How does that work?

[1:16:56] What do you do with all those ground up organs?

[1:16:59] Is that a pet or is that a co-worker?

[1:17:02] um okay well let's move on to recommendations movies that you should watch definitely instead

[1:17:10] of mortal engines which was a big waste of everyone's time um editorializing i'll go first

[1:17:17] i i want to do no no dan dan i appreciate you going out on a limb after this podcast we were

[1:17:21] pretty ambivalent about whether we didn't like it or not uh i'm gonna uh run through actually a

[1:17:28] bunch of movies and do it very quickly because this think of this as my shocktober like a cap

[1:17:34] to the shocktober season i saw like literally 11 or 12 uh horror movies over the past couple

[1:17:42] of weeks and i just want to highlight a few of them um i saw the movie pieces which i think is

[1:17:50] a spanish film am i right in that i think so it's a a slasher it's uh it's not a good movie it's a

[1:17:56] very silly movie uh it's a slasher movie with all that implies if you are not uh into a movie it's

[1:18:04] like slash no i'm just saying if you're not into a movie that has a fair amount of female nudity

[1:18:09] and violence against women i understand but that's like a big component of what slashes are

[1:18:12] uh if you want to see a dong though there is one in that movie so there you go dong alert

[1:18:18] Dawn Alert.

[1:18:18] Nowhere else to see it.

[1:18:20] But it's a...

[1:18:22] Run to pieces.

[1:18:23] It's a very, very goofy horror movie.

[1:18:26] I showed it in my house.

[1:18:28] If you want a movie that a lot of people are going to have a ball laughing at, it's a good one.

[1:18:32] So come to Dan's house.

[1:18:33] Yeah, come to my house.

[1:18:34] I saw at the Alamo Marathon, I saw Centipede Horror from 1982.

[1:18:41] It's a Hong Kong horror movie.

[1:18:45] And it has kind of like a Hong Kong kung fu vibe, even though it's a horror movie.

[1:18:49] It's about people getting cursed with centipede curses, like a family being cursed.

[1:18:55] And I realized that...

[1:18:57] So how does that manifest?

[1:18:58] You said that we know what centipede curses are.

[1:19:00] Well, basically centipedes are attracted to these people,

[1:19:03] and they're like these highly poisonous centipedes that cause them to die.

[1:19:08] Oh, gross.

[1:19:09] Luckily, they only have a million legs, right?

[1:19:13] Yeah.

[1:19:14] I realize that there's a lot of the supernatural in Western horror,

[1:19:21] but there's not a lot of straight-up magic in Western horror compared to Eastern horror.

[1:19:25] This is a movie that literally has two wizards' duels in it.

[1:19:29] So if that appeals to you, try and find Centipede Horror.

[1:19:32] It was very entertaining.

[1:19:33] I watched the movie Bones with Snoop Dogg, which I had heard was not good.

[1:19:39] I think because in addition to horror movies...

[1:19:43] you're here to set the record straight well look just let me say my thing okay in addition to horror

[1:19:48] movies there's no need to interrupt in addition to horror movies uh not being a critical favorite

[1:19:54] genre i think that uh black themed movies are often not uh given their due and i will take

[1:20:01] my licks in that area too like i am not going out and watching as many uh black themed movies as i

[1:20:07] could as a white dude i remember you i think you said it on the podcast you referred to selma as

[1:20:12] Snorefest 2017.

[1:20:14] Please do not

[1:20:16] spread that around

[1:20:17] as a thing that happened.

[1:20:19] Your lies.

[1:20:20] I believe the quote was

[1:20:23] get over it,

[1:20:24] said Dan McCoy.

[1:20:24] But Bones is a lot of fun.

[1:20:27] It's directed by

[1:20:28] Ernest Dickerson

[1:20:28] who was Spike Lee's

[1:20:30] cinematographer for a long time

[1:20:31] and then a director

[1:20:32] in his own right.

[1:20:33] He did Tales from the Crypt

[1:20:34] Demon Knight,

[1:20:34] another horror movie

[1:20:35] that's better than

[1:20:36] you would think.

[1:20:37] And Bones is fun.

[1:20:39] It kind of starts out

[1:20:40] like a socially conscious

[1:20:41] horror movie

[1:20:41] and then turns Snoop Dogg

[1:20:42] into freddie by the end of it uh it's fun and then last so he gets fingered yeah and last night i

[1:20:48] watched uh crawl the movie by alejandra aha who did uh piranha 3d that elliot and brendan and i

[1:20:55] all watched on elliot's uh wedding day and uh it's a movie about a woman trapped in a flooding

[1:21:02] house during a hurricane trying to save her dad as alligators swim all around and it's a lot of fun

[1:21:08] and barry pepper plays her swim coach dad yeah that's it oh give me to watch that what a lot

[1:21:15] of movies uh i'm gonna recommend a movie called ashes and embers uh this is an independent film

[1:21:21] from 1982 that until recently was really only seen much on festival circuits but ava duvernay's uh

[1:21:28] company has arranged a limited release for it and i saw it on the turner classic movies app so it

[1:21:32] may still be available in other streaming areas uh it's directed by uh highly garima uh and stars

[1:21:38] as actor john anderson and it's the story of a black vietnam veteran who is having trouble

[1:21:44] reintegrating into maine society and it does such a good job of like getting you inside of his head

[1:21:50] it's a very independent film it's like a very like you know rough production wise movie in some

[1:21:55] in some hearts but it's like and it leans a lot on uh vietnam stock footage at times in a way that

[1:22:00] is sometimes very moving and sometimes it's like yeah yeah i've seen that footage but uh it's it

[1:22:05] does such a good job of putting you inside the mind of this character and it's a story that

[1:22:09] a lot of other movies have told about vietnam veterans having trouble getting back to mainstream

[1:22:13] america but it's rare that i've seen it in this way also about someone who is dealing with the

[1:22:19] fact that they are black in america and that is not easy and it touches on the kind of

[1:22:25] multi-generational aspects of that what it means to the people around him and how he interacts

[1:22:31] differently with the people that he has different relationships with and it's just a really like

[1:22:34] deep rich movie and it's structured almost more like a novel than like a straightforward plot

[1:22:40] and so i found the whole thing very like hypnotic by the end and very moving and there's a couple

[1:22:44] of really great speeches in it so if you can find it and i hope you can it's called ashes and embers

[1:22:48] brendan what do you got um i got one and i checked the flop house wiki i don't think you guys

[1:22:53] recommended uh ready or not the recent horror comedy i don't think so all right yeah but you

[1:23:01] didn't recommend it right so no okay cool um but yeah ready or not uh super fun horror comedy

[1:23:07] very reminded me of your next uh while playing a little bit with class warfare not very subtly

[1:23:12] but in a really fun entertaining way um yeah stars samara wiley who was also in the other

[1:23:18] super fun horror movie, Mayhem.

[1:23:20] It really is just a kind of case of a bride learns on her wedding night

[1:23:25] that the family she just married into has a crazy tradition

[1:23:29] that could potentially lead to the family trying to kill her,

[1:23:32] and in this case does, and madness and hijinks ensue.

[1:23:36] It's gory and funny and worth checking.

[1:23:40] But wait, they wait until she's ready, right?

[1:23:42] Well, I mean, they give her a standard count,

[1:23:45] And they do, I believe, let her know they are coming.

[1:23:48] Okay.

[1:23:48] Yeah.

[1:23:49] So I'm going to recommend a movie that kind of keeps with the theme of a young woman who is wronged and seeking revenge.

[1:23:57] I'm recommending the laugh a minute fun roller coaster of a movie called The Nightingale.

[1:24:05] And I'm being totally sarcastic.

[1:24:07] It is not fun at all.

[1:24:09] This is a very difficult movie to get through.

[1:24:13] It is the latest movie from Jennifer Kent, the writer-director of The Babadook.

[1:24:18] And this is the movie that she felt very passionately she wanted to do following that.

[1:24:24] It's about a period piece.

[1:24:27] It's a young woman who is, I guess, getting out of indentured servitude or trying to in colonial Tasmania.

[1:24:38] And she suffers horrible abuse at the hands of the man, the English officer running the outpost.

[1:24:49] And it's very difficult to watch.

[1:24:52] And then the story kind of pulls back and you get to see kind of the situation all through Tasmania at that time and the horrors that are being put upon the indigenous peoples there.

[1:25:05] And it's, yeah, it's a really difficult watch.

[1:25:08] um but it's also very good so if you are ready to watch something that is not going to be easy

[1:25:16] to sit through and you might have to walk away a couple times uh yeah check it out the nightingale

[1:25:21] uh and if people want something that's easy to watch they should watch the old cartoon tazmania

[1:25:26] where it's taz and his family oh man uh they actually edited new scenes into that i don't

[1:25:32] think they're gonna want to watch it it's pretty rough yeah oh no if people want something that's

[1:25:37] really easy to watch uh they could look at the wall which is like right there unless you're

[1:25:42] outside and then it's kind of hard to watch because you have to go back inside that's true

[1:25:46] um yeah i can't can't watch it on your phone you know yeah christopher nolan loves it

[1:25:53] uh so guys i mean he's like he's like every movie is projected on a wall the most basic movie is

[1:26:02] that wall

[1:26:02] what if we

[1:26:03] we don't have to worry

[1:26:04] about film stock

[1:26:05] because there is no film

[1:26:06] it's just the wall

[1:26:08] and they're like

[1:26:08] take him away boys

[1:26:09] he's gone insane

[1:26:10] it wasn't me

[1:26:13] that did it

[1:26:14] it was the wall

[1:26:15] the wall killed them

[1:26:16] the wall

[1:26:16] whatever you say

[1:26:18] director Nolan

[1:26:19] very respectful

[1:26:21] hey before we go

[1:26:25] I just want to say

[1:26:26] thank you to

[1:26:27] Maximum Fun

[1:26:27] our network

[1:26:28] thank you to Jordan

[1:26:30] for editing the show

[1:26:31] Go over to MaximumFun.org

[1:26:34] Check out all the other podcasts

[1:26:36] On the network

[1:26:37] Some of them, like us, are about film

[1:26:41] Some of them, like us, are comedy

[1:26:43] Some have neither of those things

[1:26:45] Some of them are just culture

[1:26:46] Some of them don't like us

[1:26:48] Some of them hate us

[1:26:50] I get that

[1:26:51] Who do you have the feud against?

[1:26:55] What feud should we start right now

[1:26:57] That doesn't actually exist

[1:26:58] i mean we have that we have that existing feud with hodgman right yeah oh actually yeah he

[1:27:03] actually doesn't like us yeah okay so yeah hodgman that's that's um elliot you usually say some stuff

[1:27:09] around this time about promoting ourselves what do you got well uh if you liked this podcast and

[1:27:15] i hope you did then please leave us a review on itunes please make it a good review five stars

[1:27:19] perhaps and say something nice about us why don't you tell people about the podcast tweet about us

[1:27:23] instagram about us tick tock about us uh youtube about us whatever you want to do blog about us

[1:27:28] splog about us maybe jump in a bog about us but please wear like wading pants if you do that i

[1:27:34] don't want to ruin your good slacks because you've got a bar mitzvah to go to yeah so so go to your

[1:27:39] uh local dick sporting goods and ask for some bog wading pants get some bog trotters and uh go on

[1:27:47] out there and spread the word about the flop house uh once again we as dan mentioned we rely on

[1:27:52] listeners like you to support us throughout the year uh from the maximum drive and we really

[1:27:57] appreciate it it keeps the lights on and it keeps the beat yeah and and thanks for being our guest

[1:28:02] brendan yeah thank you thank you guys so much for having me on i really appreciate it and as a fan

[1:28:07] it was quite nice to be on this side of it thanks for being here now you see how the sausage is made

[1:28:11] yeah it's hideous my stomach has been churned this entire time and uh harvey street kid harvey

[1:28:16] harvey girls forever formerly harvey street kids it's not crazy now harvey girls forever it's on

[1:28:20] netflix now and it's really good but uh go watch it leave a good review for that yeah and then

[1:28:24] leave a good review

[1:28:25] for the Flophouse

[1:28:26] until then

[1:28:27] I remain

[1:28:27] Stuart Wellington

[1:28:28] I've been Dan McCoy

[1:28:29] I guess I'm Elliot Kalin

[1:28:31] I guess I'm just me

[1:28:33] Brendan Hay

[1:28:34] do you want to make

[1:28:35] up a name

[1:28:36] that you could be

[1:28:36] I am

[1:28:38] John Galt

[1:28:39] no

[1:28:39] see you next time

[1:28:41] and he disappeared

[1:28:42] i think william shakespeare said uh-huh uh wait i gotta look it up just chill bro okay

[1:29:02] yeah i think you literally said just chill bro yeah

[1:29:04] MaximumFun.org

[1:29:13] Comedy and culture.

[1:29:14] Artist owned.

[1:29:15] Audience supported.

Ep. #297 - Mortal Engines

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