Ep. #298 - Venom LIVE

[0:00] On this episode we discuss Venom live from Madison, Wisconsin

[0:30] Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm

[0:43] I'm Elliot Kalin. We did it guys. We did it. That's our show. We got our names right. So

[0:53] this is a podcast. Yep. You probably know that because you downloaded it. You've been

[0:58] kidnapped by some monsters forcing you to listen to what you assume are men in another

[1:03] room talking and yet they won't save you. Why won't they come in and save you? You're

[1:07] screaming but all they're talking about is Venom. It's because it's a podcast. I'm very

[1:11] sorry. Thank you for that disclaimer to add comfort to this fantasy man. And if all we

[1:19] talk about is Venom, I will be very impressed. Good point. Dan, what do we do on this podcast?

[1:24] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. And this start

[1:28] up that movie. No, it's not how we do it. We watched the movie already on your laptop

[1:34] in a Marriott hotel earlier today. The way the film was meant to be seen. So what is

[1:42] this movie about? Wait, did you say the name of the movie? Let me just say, this is a doubly

[1:53] special night to me. One, as I already said to this audience beforehand in some material

[1:56] they loved, but you, the listening audience at home, will never get to enjoy. Very excited

[2:01] to be here in Madison because I have family connections to the university and also excited

[2:04] to be talking about Venom, my favorite character circa 1993 to 1997. How old would you have

[2:12] been at this time? That's like, like 11 to 15 or 16. Okay. Like 12 to 15 or 16. Venom

[2:18] was right when I was a kid growing up. Venom was okay. You liked one of four different

[2:23] characters. Okay. Venom. Cause he's like Spider-Man, but he's a monster. The Punisher

[2:28] because he shoots guys in the head. Wolverine uses jet skis and he, well, he uses, he blows

[2:33] it. Yeah. Look, kiss that jet ski. Goodbye. Yeah. A Wolverine because he's the best there

[2:38] is what he does, but what he has isn't pretty. And when you're that age, you can really sympathize

[2:42] with someone who doesn't feel pretty. You're growing in your body. You're changing and

[2:47] you feel awkward. And to have somebody like Wolverine be like, you know what? I look cool,

[2:51] I don't feel pretty sometimes too. Sometimes I feel like someone shoved a bunch of metal

[2:55] in my body. Yeah. To suddenly have things spring out of your body. Things that weren't

[2:59] there before. Exactly. Exactly. And your hair grows into weird shapes that you can't do

[3:03] in the real world. Exactly. And you mentor a series of teenage girls in martial arts.

[3:10] Classic teenage experience. And of course, Ghost Rider was the other one because he has

[3:15] a skull for a head and it's on fire and he hits people with a chain. Yeah. Something

[3:19] that everyone can relate to because they also have skulls inside their bodies. You

[3:24] call them the Spencer's Gifts heroes. Yes. And my favorite was Venom because I loved

[3:30] Spider-Man and now it was like a Spider-Man who could also eat people. And well, also

[3:35] I think because Venom was obsessed with Spider-Man and I think you were also obsessed with Spider-Man.

[3:40] I could really sense a kindred spirit. I did. I liked the fact that Venom was a villain

[3:45] character who was not evil because he wanted something. He was evil because he hated one

[3:50] person and that hate had twisted him so much. And he was one of these rare villains that

[3:54] I mean, Joker's obsessed with Batman, but Joker would be very happy in a world without

[3:58] Batman. Joker is still going to be sending poison fish to people and like robbing the

[4:02] joke bank and things like that. You know, whatever, whatever laughing thing. He's still

[4:06] going to be like putting poison Laffy Taffy in people's stores and things like that. You

[4:10] know, but without Spider-Man, Venom doesn't exist. Venom doesn't care. Venom doesn't want

[4:14] to take over the world. He just wants to kill Spider-Man. And so with this movie, it's an

[4:19] interesting to have the conundrum of a Venom movie with no Spider-Man in it. When Venom

[4:23] is an explicitly a Spider-Man derived character who dresses in Spider-Man's old clothes and

[4:28] because he wants to kill Spider-Man. How do they do that? Yeah, Dan, they make Venom into

[4:36] this quasi hero by making him a loser like Eddie Brock is. So let's talk about how this

[4:42] movie, how it starts. It starts in media res. Sorry, res, we don't get to see the top of

[4:49] you, just the media. There's a private, privately owned spaceship crashes to earth in East Malaysia.

[4:55] It's carrying some alien goo. One of the goo's escapes into the body of an EMT doctor. Cut

[5:01] to San Francisco. So already, right off the bat, we're like, the movie is hiding. A lot

[5:06] of movies will kind of keep their cards close to their chest. This one is like, there's

[5:09] alien goo. It jumps into people's bodies. Next scene, please. San Francisco. We meet

[5:15] reporter Tom Hardy, Eddie Brock. He's a real slob. And here's where I was like, Venom ended

[5:21] up in San Francisco when Spider-Man and him came to an agreement. But he's a New York

[5:25] boy. What's this all about? But they cover that. He's from New York, too, which is why

[5:29] he can talk in the most hilarious accent. Like it's like Tom Hardy did Bane and people

[5:34] were like, this voice is kind of crazy. And he was like, I can do better. Yeah, he sounds

[5:41] like he's doing a late period Marlon Brando through the entire film. Like if Marlon Brando

[5:46] was the star of a Hanna-Barbera cartoon show, like that's what he sounds like. It does feel

[5:52] like that accent and a lot of his performance throughout the movie. Every other actor is

[5:56] like, OK, I'll just go along with this. I mean, I would they could have built into his

[6:01] backstory that he came from like an affluent Long Island suburb, but he wanted to seem

[6:04] like he was from the streets. So he gave himself this fake like, OK, going over here.

[6:09] You know, I'm just Eddie Brock. Let me ask the questions. I'm a reporter. He is engaged

[6:13] to Michelle Williams, who is a high class lawyer, which I guess I guess there are low

[6:17] class lawyers. Yeah. And they are, to put it mildly, to seeing from their apartment,

[6:22] the bars they go to, they are the people currently ruining San Francisco. So you can assume every

[6:27] time you see their apartment that an elderly Asian or Latino lady used to live in that

[6:32] apartment until the rents went up too high and they kicked her out. So those are heroes.

[6:39] Eddie is assigned to interview the head of this space company who also so there's a company

[6:43] called the Life Foundation. Yeah. Is that just the evil alien experimenting organization or

[6:48] is that also the spaceship company? Are you looking at me? I mean, I didn't build the spaceship.

[6:55] You watched the movie. Yeah, well, I don't know. It wasn't life. That other movie we watched about

[7:01] evil alien goop. Yes, there's there's I don't think I don't know if we ever we never released

[7:05] that episode. It was a test episode for Skyping. Yes. And it and we failed the test, I guess. But

[7:10] when the movie Life, which is alien, except instead of the xenomorph, a terrifying classic

[7:14] monster design, it was just like some goop that jumped. When that trailer came out, people were

[7:19] like, this is a stealth secret prequel for Venom. And it wasn't. But watching this movie, I was like,

[7:25] maybe it was. But this is this evil billionaire, this tech billionaire played by Riz Ahmed. His

[7:31] name is Carlton Drake. Yeah, he is a normal name. We just watched non-evil. I mean, he made his

[7:38] money on the Drake's cakes fortune. And he was the basis for Carlton Banks in the Fresh Bridge

[7:42] of Bel-Air. Yeah. I was just checking to see if you're done. Yeah. Talk. No, you could just butt

[7:49] in. You don't have to wait for us. Apparently not. So go. No, we just watched the movie The

[7:54] Meg recently. And in that movie, Rainn Wilson was funding deep sea diving for reasons unknown. He

[8:01] like comes onto the deep sea ship and is like, so what are you doing here? And I'm just giving you

[8:05] billions of dollars. And here it's like, what exactly is this guy's idea that like he's just

[8:11] like, I know symbiotes exist in the world somewhere. So I'm sending randomly rockets up in

[8:18] space. He seems to know ahead of time what the plot of the movie is. Yeah. And that's why he

[8:22] set it into motion. He believes that humanity is destroying the earth because we take, take,

[8:25] take, take, take. And we never give back. Our future is in space. And we need to find a way

[8:29] to live in space. Throw some alien goop on our bodies. The only way to do it. So he's an Elon

[8:34] Musk type, by which I mean evil. And also he doesn't really seem to know that much about his

[8:38] core business or any of the other businesses that he gets involved with. And he's he's introduced

[8:44] in a scene where he's like explaining the basics of space travel or something. And that's the kind

[8:48] of scene you see in every sci-fi movie. You're like, why is this person explaining the very

[8:53] basics of this thing? Like, why is this physics class doing day one physics? And then the camera

[8:57] pans around and he's telling a bunch of children and you're like, oh, it's supposed to be done.

[9:03] Eddie, he's supposed to just talk about rockets. It's a puff piece. But he starts asking about the

[9:08] case that his fiance is involved with, that the company is being sued because some test subjects

[9:13] have died in some mysterious experiments. Of course, Eddie, the investigative reporter is

[9:18] fired for doing some investigative reporting. Meanwhile, on the other end, the fiance also

[9:22] fired considering her boyfriend barged into it, like started asking about it, but I guess was a

[9:26] secret case he wasn't supposed to know about. Yeah, we saw him hack into her computer earlier

[9:31] because he knows her password, I guess. And meanwhile, her cat looks on that cat. I expected

[9:35] to be a character in the movie did not turn out to be. I was very concerned that I was going to

[9:39] get killed at some point. But do you remember the cat's name? Do I remember? It was Mr. Belvedere.

[9:45] So automatically best character in the movie barely appears in it. Meanwhile, in Malaysia,

[9:52] that EMT, she steals an eel from a fish market, starts chowing it down,

[9:56] kills a bunch of people and the symbiote hops into an old lady. OK.

[10:00] Scientist Jenny Slate is explaining to her boss, Riz Ahmed, that the aliens need host bodies,

[10:05] but to achieve symbiosis requires an exact match.

[10:07] Once again, they seem to know a lot about these new aliens that they just discovered.

[10:13] Drake is like, I demand we move on to human trials.

[10:15] This is Drake the musician.

[10:17] Yes, Drake the musician is like, nah dog, we gotta move on to human trials.

[10:20] He doesn't even say dog, that's like a Randy Jackson thing to say.

[10:24] And he threatens her kids, uh-oh.

[10:27] Meanwhile, Eddie, he's the kind of guy who's friends with all the local characters,

[10:30] local homeless person, bodega owner, and he just stops into his local bodega

[10:33] and watches as the shopkeeper has to pay off a gunman for protection.

[10:36] Well, but also, by this point, uh, Eddie has, his life has taken a downturn

[10:41] because, uh, Michelle Williams, uh, he's not only lost his job,

[10:44] Michelle Williams has broken up with him.

[10:45] Even though earlier we saw them so enamored of one another

[10:49] that they had sex dangerously close to a record player that was playing a record.

[10:53] I was very concerned by it.

[10:54] I was like, that might slice off her butt, Hellraiser style.

[10:59] They're at a bar and she says, they clearly have nothing in common,

[11:02] and she says, less talking, more kissing.

[11:04] Cut to them in their apartment, just ripping each other's clothes off,

[11:07] but the record's on the turntable,

[11:08] which means that they took a break from making out to put the record on.

[11:12] Unless, the way these young, gentrifying people who think they have everything in the world,

[11:16] unless they left that record player on the entire time they were out wasting valuable electricity.

[11:20] I don't think you understand how records work, Elliot.

[11:23] I assume it just gets to the end and then skips back to the top again.

[11:25] Okay, oh boy.

[11:26] Uh, Jenny Slate tips off Eddie Brock.

[11:29] This is when we learn her name, which is Dora Skirth,

[11:32] but we thought it was Doris Girth, which is like a Pee Wee Playhouse character name.

[11:37] But no, it is the much more realistic name of Dora Skirth,

[11:40] which, I don't know if that's a Marvel Comics reference or just a crazy great name.

[11:44] She takes him to the lab and Drake, he wants to use human hosts to keep these space goops alive,

[11:50] and Eddie sees a homeless woman he knows in a cell.

[11:52] He breaks the cell open with a fire extinguisher, and she attacks him and passes the symbiote to him.

[11:57] Instantly, he's a super tough fighter who escapes from the bad guy's henchmen by climbing up a really tall tree.

[12:02] Yeah, and this, uh, it's also interesting, like the symbiote is apparently kept behind glass,

[12:06] and it's like, oh no, glass, the, it's only weakness is being hit really hard.

[12:12] The glass, you mean, not the symbiote.

[12:13] Yeah, yeah.

[12:14] They're like, we need a-

[12:15] That's also the weakness of Mr. Glass, being hit really hard.

[12:17] Most people.

[12:18] I mean, I haven't seen the movie yet, so you're spoiling it.

[12:20] Yeah, spoiling.

[12:21] Is that what happens, I mean, I haven't seen the movie Glass, but do they hit him and he shatters, and that's it?

[12:24] Yeah.

[12:25] Kind of.

[12:25] Oh, okay.

[12:26] Well, I guess that answers that question.

[12:29] But like, into pieces, and then his hands start crawling away?

[12:31] Yeah, yeah.

[12:32] Does he shatter into a bunch of tiny Mr. Glasses, like in The Gate?

[12:35] That's the movie Shattered Glass, actually.

[12:37] I don't think that's what Shattered Glass is about.

[12:40] I remember it differently, Elliot.

[12:41] So, is Glass about Ira Glass or Phillip Glass?

[12:47] Uh, they're brothers, right?

[12:50] I mean, they are related, but I think they're distant cousins, I think.

[12:53] Let's talk about this.

[12:54] Yeah, okay.

[12:55] They're both prominent people with the last name Glass.

[12:58] All right, well, I guess that's all I'm talking about.

[13:00] It's not like it would be crazy for them, it's not like one of them is an alien, and it would be crazy for them to, or maybe they're both aliens.

[13:06] And Phillip Glass's music is pretty crazy.

[13:09] And Ira Glass is always dividing things up into parts, much like an alien who's investigating human life.

[13:16] He's always like, mm, everybody likes doing this, but what if they didn't, and they did it a different way?

[13:20] And it's like, why do you care?

[13:23] Well, he has to categorize, yeah, I mean, he might be an alien, because he's categorizing all of this American life.

[13:29] Tell me about this American life.

[13:33] What is love?

[13:34] Anyway, Eddie heads home, he's got this symbiote in him, you know what that means?

[13:38] He's hungry, so he chows down on some frozen tater tots, rips a chicken out of the garbage, and starts eating it.

[13:44] And I'm like, you left that much meat on the chicken?

[13:47] You should rip it out of the garbage, you wasted all that.

[13:49] And it's dark meat, the best part of the chicken.

[13:52] Now, we get a little clue here.

[13:54] Tom Hardy sneaks in a little clue in his performance, because every time he goes to the fridge to grab himself a brewski, he grabs two of them.

[14:02] That's right, one for him, and one for the other side of his personality, a.k.a. the Venom symbiote.

[14:09] So he feels real sick, passes out, and the suit starts talking to him.

[14:12] The suit knows his name is Eddie.

[14:13] The suit is this alien that landed on Earth, I guess, a couple days ago, knows contemporary references, speaks English really well.

[14:20] It bonds with his brain, though.

[14:22] I guess it's bonded, but it's branded on the brain.

[14:23] Who talks like this?

[14:25] Yeah, it's always like, Eddie, go over there, pick up that thing, no, the other thing.

[14:30] No, pick up, just let me do it.

[14:33] Yeah, it's always saying, Eddie, how are you doing, Eddie?

[14:37] What's up, let's go out and kill some people.

[14:39] This would be a very different movie.

[14:41] Yeah, if it was like, meat, I need living meat.

[14:44] Oh, you're so cute, Venom.

[14:47] It's talking to his head, he goes, Michelle Williams, this is six months later since she dumped him.

[14:50] Michelle Williams has already moved on and dating a nice doctor named Dan.

[14:54] They were engaged.

[14:55] Named Dad?

[14:56] Dan, his name is Dad.

[14:59] Six months later, she's dating a man who has keys to her apartment after they broke off their engagement.

[15:05] Dan, the clock is ticking.

[15:07] All right.

[15:08] She can no longer take the time she would before.

[15:11] And this is a doctor.

[15:12] Very handsome.

[15:13] Very nice.

[15:13] He is like, they could have gone much nicer than Eddie.

[15:16] Like, he's a much better match for her.

[15:19] Like, they could have gone the easy route and made him like a dick.

[15:21] He is the hero of the movie.

[15:24] He is so nice to Eddie throughout the film.

[15:25] So unthreatened.

[15:26] He's like giving him free medical care just out of the goodness of his heart.

[15:29] Like, and he could easily let him die.

[15:31] This is his one competitor for the heart of Michelle Williams.

[15:34] Not a catch.

[15:34] I'm convinced we should have made the movie Dr. Dan.

[15:36] Yeah.

[15:38] Dr. Dan, feet venom.

[15:39] That's what it's sort of called.

[15:41] So he butts in on their lunch date, and he just starts ripping food off people's plates and spitting steak all over the place.

[15:47] Because he's feeling so hot, he has to climb in a lobster tank and start biting lobsters open with his teeth.

[15:52] This is part of the Oscar reel for Tom Hardy for this movie.

[15:58] The doctor boyfriend puts him in an MRI, but the sound waves from the MRI.

[16:02] And now, I'm not a doctor.

[16:03] I know it's magnetic stuff, but does it come out of sound?

[16:06] Or is it just a noisy machine?

[16:07] I've never had an MRI done on me, but I always thought it looked cool because they'd find it out as a ghost.

[16:11] They're terrible.

[16:12] They're not good?

[16:13] I don't.

[16:13] Yeah, I mean, it just makes it like a kachunk, kachunk, kachunk sound.

[16:16] I don't think it makes a venom killing sound.

[16:18] Because I always imagine that if I...

[16:19] Like, this is the same fantasy I've had since I was probably 10 years old.

[16:23] Any time I have a test done on me...

[16:25] Buckle up, guys.

[16:26] Buckle up.

[16:27] This is going to get weird.

[16:28] Any time I've had a test done on me of a doctor's, I have this fantasy, this hope I'm holding out, that they're going to be like,

[16:35] but these results don't make sense.

[16:38] There's...

[16:38] We've never seen this before.

[16:39] There's something in your system that seems inhuman.

[16:42] And then, like, there's like...

[16:44] You have the boy genius gene.

[16:47] Well, I mean, that was the original hope.

[16:49] It's a little late for that now.

[16:51] I'm like, I don't know if anyone else does this, but as I get older, I kind of reclassify what I should be doing that would be impressive to do at my age.

[16:59] So, like, for a long time, I was like, I better, like, have my own TV show or something like that.

[17:02] And now it's like, should I run for president?

[17:06] Should I get a good erection?

[17:08] What?

[17:09] Okay, Dan, hold on.

[17:12] I am...

[17:12] You're getting old, is what I'm saying.

[17:14] This is...

[17:14] I mean, I'm not familiar with the phrase, with the concept even, of, like, a bad erection.

[17:22] And if anything, if anything, I had more bad erections when I was a teenager, and a warm room could give me an erection.

[17:33] I'm talking about an evil erection, like one that's got really...

[17:36] That one, like a serial killer's penis was grafted onto my body?

[17:39] Yeah, that's right.

[17:46] I...

[17:47] Dan, your mind is a place I do not care to go.

[17:51] Okay, so the MRI, the sound makes the symbiote goes nuts.

[17:54] Dora, Jenny Slate, gets found out by Drake.

[17:56] He exposes her to a symbiote.

[17:58] She dies, along with a third symbiote.

[17:59] There's just two left.

[18:00] The venom symbiote, and there's one that's just bopping around Malaysia.

[18:04] The Life Foundation guys, the henchmen, they show up at Eddie's place, and Eddie's like,

[18:07] whoa, whoa, whoa, don't shoot.

[18:08] And the symbiote's like, you're being a wimp.

[18:10] Let me take care of these guys.

[18:11] And he does it by doing a lot of, like, Stretch Armstrong, Taffy Arm stuff, where he's swinging people around and stretching a lot.

[18:17] Yeah, and if you want to see a scene with someone who looks like Tom Hardy doing basically this in a better movie, watch Upgrade.

[18:25] That's fair.

[18:25] That's my public service announcement.

[18:27] But it's less slimy.

[18:29] Yeah.

[18:30] I do like slimy stuff.

[18:32] Like my favorite Ghostbusters ghost character.

[18:36] Taxi Driver.

[18:37] Yep, Taxi Driver Ghost.

[18:38] The legitimately most scary ghost in the entire movie.

[18:42] Well, the old, like, rotten head guy?

[18:43] Yeah, when I was a kid, that was the one shot where I always covered my eyes when it was coming.

[18:47] And now he just looks like the Crypt Keeper's brother who rides a taxi cab.

[18:49] I've mentioned this before, but the first time—

[18:51] The scary stuff is the fare, am I right?

[18:53] Oh!

[18:55] I mean, the scary thing is the way that tech companies are ruining traditional cabbies' lives.

[19:00] Oh, gosh, Dan.

[19:02] But—

[19:04] We're getting real anti-Silicon Valley on this one.

[19:08] But when I saw Ghostbusters in the theater, I was a little kid, and my mom covered my eyes for that opening sequence with that ghost.

[19:14] The library ghost?

[19:15] Yeah, and I was like—

[19:16] She was like, don't look at that library!

[19:17] And afterwards, I was like, Mom, what did it look like?

[19:20] And her definition was, it looked like Skeletor.

[19:25] I mean, I am impressed your mom knew who Skeletor was.

[19:27] Yeah, definitely.

[19:28] Yeah, this is basically me saying my mom's cool.

[19:31] I am constantly impressed by Stuart's mom's knowledge of things that we like.

[19:36] And the amount that she tweets about the podcast.

[19:38] Mm-hmm.

[19:39] Or that when she tweeted, so what is hentai to me?

[19:49] That was a fun Thanksgiving after that, I imagine.

[19:52] Okay, so the life found—

[19:54] So anyway, Venom is taking over Eddie's body, and he's acting the way—

[19:57] It's very weird, because this scene is written as a—

[20:00] And these guys were watching it as if, like, Thomas Middleditch was playing the part.

[20:02] He's like, whoa, oh, watch out.

[20:04] And he, like, knocks a guy over. He's like, sorry about your friend, oh boy.

[20:07] But it's he looks like Tom Hardy, a guy I'm used to seeing beat the shit out of people in movies.

[20:11] Like Tom Hardy can disappear to certain types of characters.

[20:13] I do not believe he can disappear into like a weakling.

[20:16] He's always going to be Bronson.

[20:17] And also the idea that they're painting him as like a fumbling loser.

[20:21] But like he was an investigative reporter that has his own like man on the street show.

[20:26] Like you have to be at least somewhat competent to do that for a while.

[20:29] Right. I would think so.

[20:31] I would imagine. I mean, we don't know the news business that way.

[20:33] And this whole this whole action sequence, they must have recorded like 40 hours of just scat dialogue from Tom.

[20:41] Tom Hardy being like, oh, no, that guy there, too.

[20:44] Oh, no.

[20:47] I'll get him, Eddie.

[20:50] And he's he's doing the voice of Venom.

[20:53] He does the Venom voice also.

[20:54] And apparently what I was reading is that he would do the Venom voice in the morning and then they would play it back to him through an earpiece during the scenes so he could react to it like it was really in his head because it was it was in his head with its guns and its bombs, zombie, et cetera, et cetera.

[21:08] Let's hear for the cranberries, everybody.

[21:10] Anyway, so this leads to the famous from the trailer motorcycle chase where these cars are just chasing Eddie on his motorcycle through San Francisco.

[21:20] Police not interested as car.

[21:22] There's also like exploding drones that are just hurling themselves at Eddie and blowing up cars and passersby.

[21:28] I think the symbiote at one point he reaches out and steers two cars to get them away from Eddie.

[21:33] So it's like, OK, so he knows how to drive a car.

[21:35] Also, like Eddie finally suits all the way up, bites a bad guy's head off and then jumps off into the bay to have a one on one conversation.

[21:44] The suit detaches himself slightly so that it can be a head on a stalk.

[21:48] Looking back at Eddie, like one of those weird Japanese ghosts that Hellboy fought once where they're like heads on long stalks that leave their bodies at night.

[21:55] You know what I'm talking about?

[21:56] Yeah. And let's just let's just be honest with ourselves outside of the comics page and pretty much inside of the comics page.

[22:03] Then it looks pretty silly.

[22:06] You're a crazy person.

[22:08] He's like if Spider-Man was crossed with a demon and a gorilla like that's the best character ever.

[22:13] Here's why he looks silly.

[22:15] The movie doesn't have that big white spider on his chest.

[22:17] So he just looks like this big, veiny goop.

[22:19] Yeah. And he's extra goopy.

[22:20] Like in the comics, there's something about the way that suit just doesn't leave anything to the imagination.

[22:26] Talk about a bad erection.

[22:27] What if you like everyone's going to know about it?

[22:31] So the suit tells him that his name is Venom.

[22:34] OK, cool. He gave himself an Earth name, I guess.

[22:36] Well, unless it's just an alien name that happens to sound like a word that fits.

[22:39] And the suit seems to refer to itself as we, which pissed me off, because when Venom says we, he's talking about himself and Eddie, Eddie in the suit.

[22:46] Come on. But here he's already a we, unless he's just a guy who talks in the third person or the royal we.

[22:51] Well, I guess what I'm saying is the suit has a lot of unearned personality by this point in the movie.

[22:56] For some reason that I don't remember why, Eddie goes to his old office.

[22:59] They are met in the lobby by a whole SWAT brigade.

[23:01] And Venom is just straight up murdering policemen, just like hurling them around each other.

[23:05] For some reason, Annie, his ex-fiancee, is there and she sees it happen.

[23:09] And she's like it's like any of these.

[23:11] It's like any movie where someone walks in on someone doing something embarrassing.

[23:15] He's just like, oh, what?

[23:16] No, any like like this is this is Ben Stiller getting his his balls caught in his zipper from there's something about Mary.

[23:22] He said he was just a monster killing SWAT cops.

[23:24] And her reaction is basically just like she walked in on someone new that she shouldn't have seen.

[23:28] Eddie. Oh, sorry.

[23:30] I didn't know there was someone in here killing SWAT cops.

[23:33] She gives him a ride in her car.

[23:35] And this is when Venom in Eddie's brain is like, you really you missed an opportunity to apologize to her.

[23:39] This is a good opportunity to do that, because Venom instantly is like you two belong together, which is crazy.

[23:46] It's just like it's like a walk like a man moment came down to earth to be like a romance advice columnist.

[23:51] It's a very Cyrano like Venom was his previous host was Hitch starring Will Smith.

[23:57] Meanwhile, the last symbiote has already passed on to a little girl because there's nothing more evil than the evil little girl.

[24:02] She shows up who has flown from Malaysia to the US by herself.

[24:06] Apparently, so many questions.

[24:07] Dan has trouble doing that.

[24:08] And he's a grown man.

[24:12] He barely got here.

[24:14] And so she passes her the symbiote on to the bad guy, Drake, and his reaction.

[24:19] So wait, why do they separate this one symbiote for this long time when it just ends up joining with the other ones?

[24:26] I think it was partly a way to tell the audience ahead of time.

[24:29] This is it jumps. It can go from host to host.

[24:31] And also because I'm guessing there was some kind of Asian financial backing and they needed to shoot part of it in Asia.

[24:37] And also to create that feeling of like, oh, when these things meet up, there's going to be T trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with V.

[24:45] And that stands for Venom, because we got trouble, boys, right here in San Francisco.

[24:50] You're so fucking lucky that T rhymes with V.

[24:54] Most of the letters rhyme with T, Dan, E, V, D, Z.

[25:00] I didn't invent the alphabet.

[25:02] Whoever did made it perfect for my purposes.

[25:04] Anyway, we got trouble right here in San Francisco.

[25:06] You ruined my momentum. I can't think of anything else.

[25:08] All right. Forget it.

[25:09] Well, you can all go home and dream of the song that might have been if if language arts Dan didn't decide to forget about the alphabet.

[25:19] So just put on the Music Man theme and play our podcast at the same time.

[25:24] And it's basically the same thing.

[25:25] Why wouldn't it a duet of pleasures do that?

[25:27] Yeah, it's not the Music Man theme, but all right.

[25:30] The soundtrack to the Music Man, I meant.

[25:31] Thank you.

[25:31] OK, so anyway, but so I want to say the duet of pleasures is going to be your solo album.

[25:39] Wait, why is it a duet of pleasures?

[25:41] It's a solo album.

[25:42] Because I'm that good, Dan.

[25:44] It really makes you think, dude, because it's me.

[25:46] I'm doing all my own backing vocals and I'm also my own hype man.

[25:49] OK, so there's a I'll sing something and then I'll just duck to another microphone and go, that's right.

[25:54] And so this evil billionaire is wandering around his office alone at night because I guess he lives there and a little girl wanders up and he's like, hey, are you lost?

[26:05] And it's like, wait a minute.

[26:07] One, he's evil and we're supposed to be like, this guy is the worst of the worst.

[26:11] Oh, he really is worried about this little girl doesn't know where her parents are.

[26:14] Two, if you were in your secure lab, somebody already broke into it and stole an alien goop.

[26:20] You want that goop back and you sent out exploding drones to get it.

[26:23] Suddenly, maybe he does not surprise that little girl wanders past your security.

[26:27] Maybe he's not surprised because he sent all his henchmen out to go find Eddie.

[26:30] So he's there. He's like, I guess I'll watch the place myself.

[26:33] Yeah, he's like wondering if she's lost because he assumes she's like a temp worker or something.

[26:38] We're just like a tourist.

[26:39] Which reminds me, there's a scene where Eddie is taking the cable car to get somewhere and it's like, this dude doesn't live in San Francisco.

[26:45] Like what kind of resident takes a cable car?

[26:47] Show him on a muni bus getting mad that it's so slow.

[26:50] Later on, you see him eating something out of a sourdough bread bowl and you're like, oh, this makes me so angry.

[26:54] He's just dumping rice-a-roni into his mouth at the Ghirardelli chocolate factory at Fisherman's Wharf.

[27:00] Look at all those seals.

[27:01] Amazing. Like, these are nothing.

[27:04] The full house house. I better take a picture of it.

[27:08] So this place is great.

[27:10] Anyway, there is a moment early on in the movie where Eddie's at a bar drinking and I've actually drank in that bar.

[27:17] It's called Edinburgh Castle.

[27:19] And they also shot So I Married an Axe Murderer there.

[27:21] So it's pretty exciting.

[27:23] You know, bar name dropper over here.

[27:26] I don't understand. I live in New York, Dan, so I don't often see things that are being filmed or have been in films.

[27:34] Says the man who was talking about Ghostbusters earlier.

[27:37] OK, I don't. So Anne uses the MRI at the doctor's office to separate Eddie and Venom.

[27:42] They think they trapped Venom, but oh, he gets out through the air vents.

[27:45] But not before Eddie is captured by Drake's goons.

[27:48] Drake is like, look at me.

[27:50] I can Venom out, too.

[27:51] I've got a symbiote named Riot that is on me.

[27:53] Also, I just want to say, like, apparently Eddie's heart is atrophied at this point, which is what the doctor, Dan, tells him that.

[28:00] But Venom leaves him and Eddie's wandering around perfectly fine.

[28:04] Yeah. So I I think he was misdiagnosed.

[28:07] It was actually just an achy, breaky heart.

[28:09] OK, or an untamed heart.

[28:11] Or it could be an untamed heart or a wild.

[28:13] Well, you're not supposed to tell someone about an achy, breaky heart.

[28:16] Only because they wouldn't understand.

[28:17] OK. And I do like that as when they separate them, they have this like alien goop bouncing around in the in the room and they decide to have like a relationship conversation.

[28:29] Dr. Dan and Dr. Dan is like, why didn't you tell me about this?

[28:33] And Annie is like, there's nothing between any of me, I promise.

[28:35] And the doctor being the best person in the movie is like, I'm not talking about that.

[28:39] I'm talking about this alien goop that you brought into my office.

[28:42] Like it's like there's bigger things in the universe right now than your relationship stuff.

[28:46] Like, but like don't be like, I'm sorry, buried the lead that I had that I ran into my old boyfriend.

[28:53] There's an alien in my office.

[28:56] They take for some reason the henchmen instead of killing Eddie in the controlled.

[28:59] Also, so Drake's now got his own symbiote, Riot.

[29:01] Riot looks kind of like he's a kind of medley and he can turn his hands into big carnage saws.

[29:05] In order instead of executing Eddie in the controlled confines of the lab, they take him out into the woods.

[29:10] Miller's Crossing style, I guess, to make it look like a bear attacked him.

[29:15] One of the escape chimps from the first Planet of the Apes.

[29:17] Yeah, a bear attacked him with the guns they're going to use to shoot him.

[29:21] Hey, I guess it's the right to bear arms.

[29:25] Yes. And I love someone in the audience said no before I said it.

[29:28] When you said no, I only wanted to do it more.

[29:32] OK, so, of course, he's not going to get killed because the venom symbiote shows up.

[29:36] Who's wait, who's the host?

[29:38] It's Annie. She's she venom.

[29:39] She bites the lead henchman's head off because, again, heroic actions, although she might eat the whole body.

[29:46] The body just kind of disappears like it's a Double Dragon game.

[29:49] So maybe she just swallowed the whole thing down in one gulp, which leads me to wonder, where did the mass of that man's body go when it entered the body of a much smaller person?

[29:56] And then the suit, she gives Eddie a pretty deep soul kiss.

[30:00] which the symbiote uses to move back onto Eddie.

[30:02] Yeah, and it basically looks like Eddie and Venom are making out, which is kind of cool.

[30:07] I mean, it's like...

[30:09] That is the part that people on the internet have frozen, I'm sure, and watched over and over again.

[30:13] I would be surprised if there's not a gif of that out there in the world.

[30:17] I wouldn't... yeah, I bet it makes sense.

[30:20] If you're looking for someone to argue with that proposition, I will not.

[30:24] So they pretty quickly at this point go from running away from the bad guys,

[30:28] not knowing what's going on, to immediately deciding to save the world.

[30:31] Yes, Venom is like...

[30:32] They take it all in stride.

[30:33] The Venom symbiote is like,

[30:34] Riot wants to send a spaceship out to get more symbiotes and bring it back to Earth.

[30:37] You know what?

[30:38] Among the symbiotes, I'm kind of a loser, just like you're a loser among humans.

[30:42] Wait, its name is Riot? Is that an alien name?

[30:45] I don't know!

[30:47] Is that a translation from symbiote language?

[30:50] I don't know!

[30:51] I mean, in the comics they were named by comic creators who were trying to knock off Venom.

[30:57] So that's like Toxin is another one of the symbiotes.

[30:59] Poison powers or no poison?

[31:01] No, and there's one called Phage, not like the yogurt, but like a virus.

[31:07] But it's weird that the aliens already gave themselves these names.

[31:10] I mean, the yogurt would be more appropriate based on what they look like.

[31:13] Good point, and there's little bits of fruit at the bottom.

[31:17] I imagine that the symbiotes are like, this is my tag.

[31:21] My name's Percival, but you can call me Riot.

[31:26] What I was waiting for was, I wanted a moment where Tom Hardy goes,

[31:31] we can't save the world, I'm not like a superhero.

[31:34] And I wanted them to say, I can't do it, and you can't do it, but we can do it.

[31:39] And that would have been like, the one moment where I'm like, okay.

[31:41] Elliot would have started crying.

[31:42] I know, because I'm a big fan of any movie, like when we watch the Power Rangers movie,

[31:46] I'm like, any movie that's about people having to work together to achieve a goal,

[31:50] I'm like, yes, definitely.

[31:52] That's why I love The Martian.

[31:53] It's a movie with no villain.

[31:54] It's all about how people need to work together to save Matt Damon's stupid ass from Mars.

[31:59] So anyway, because he's too busy groaning.

[32:01] It's not really his fault he's trapped on Mars.

[32:04] I mean, that was an accident.

[32:05] He could have had the decency to try to jump really far to get back to Earth.

[32:09] Okay.

[32:11] Like John Carter?

[32:12] Yeah, exactly, yeah.

[32:15] But instead, they don't have that.

[32:17] It's just like, all right, I guess we're saving the world.

[32:20] This movie feels so 80s in that way where it's like the characters are just like, all right, I guess we're heroes now.

[32:26] And also the movie doesn't not really give like Venom that much of a motivation for suddenly wanting to save the world.

[32:34] It's not like the movie is like, oh, you know, he's bonded so much with Eddie that he's gotten human.

[32:39] Or like Venom is like, oh, you guys have pizza down here.

[32:41] I really love pizza.

[32:42] They needed that scene where Venom eats like human food and is like, oh, I like this.

[32:46] Instead, the closest we get is they climb to the top of a tall building and Venom is like, it's pretty beautiful around here.

[32:51] I guess I didn't see that before.

[32:53] I guess it is.

[32:54] So the symbiote has the same aesthetic ideas about a lit up city at night that we do?

[32:58] And based on the voice, I think he would really like cookies because he sounds like Cookie Monster.

[33:04] Now, are you suggesting that Cookie Monster is a symbiote on a host muppet?

[33:08] Better yet, are you suggesting that all people with the same voice have the same taste?

[33:14] I mean, I think a little bit of both. Right, guys?

[33:16] Has anyone checked on Gritty if Gritty likes cookies?

[33:21] I would have to assume that Gritty loves cookies.

[33:23] Has anyone checked on Gritty? Is he doing all right?

[33:26] I'm worried about him.

[33:27] I'm worried about Gritty.

[33:28] Guys, we need to talk about Gritty.

[33:31] I mean, I assume that Gritty enjoys every form of vice.

[33:34] He's basically like all the worst aspects of Philadelphia in one adorable character.

[33:40] Gritty is like there's nothing he can do.

[33:42] I feel like if he robbed a bank, we'd be like, that's our Gritty.

[33:45] Yeah, Antifa mascot Gritty.

[33:48] So they're like, Riot is launching a spaceship to his alien planet,

[33:54] and one of his workers in the control room is about to abort the launch because I guess he realizes his boss is evil.

[34:00] Riot reacts poorly to this and kills everybody there.

[34:02] Suddenly Venom and Riot are fighting on top of the catwalk near this rocket ship, which is like, wait a minute.

[34:08] So is Riot going to get in the ship after he launched it?

[34:10] Like, I don't understand.

[34:11] Riot has also all these hand axes.

[34:13] It's a big CGI monster fight until it's just like two humans engulfed in liquid goop that are fighting each other.

[34:18] And this part.

[34:19] That looked pretty cool.

[34:20] It was pretty cool.

[34:21] So it's like, oh, yeah, okay.

[34:22] They're making the most of these guys being made out of goop

[34:24] until Annie blasts them with feedback from the speakers mounted around the rocket ship

[34:29] so the rocket ship can listen to the final countdown to get pumped for the flight.

[34:33] Yep.

[34:36] So their symbiotes are blasted off of them, and the two guys just start fighting again, which I was kind of bummed by.

[34:43] I was kind of hoping they would have been like, oh, we don't got our things anymore.

[34:46] Let's just run away.

[34:48] It turns into the Iron Man 3 of Venom.

[34:50] Or they just like start slapping each other.

[34:52] I mean, that would be great if they're like, eh, ow, ugh.

[34:55] Instead, I guess they learn how to fight from the symbiotes.

[34:58] All this time they thought they were teaching Riot.

[35:00] Riot was teaching us.

[35:01] Anyway, Drake stabs Venomless Eddie, but the Venom suit saves him.

[35:05] And they kind of do what Jason Statham does in The Meg,

[35:08] when Jason Statham uses the edge of his wave underwater glider to cut open the belly of The Meg.

[35:14] Spoiler alert.

[35:15] Where Venom's like, you just stabbed me with this giant symbiote axe.

[35:19] I'm just going to jump down the rocket ship and scrape down a big hole until it explodes, which happens.

[35:24] Riot is blown up.

[35:26] The spaceship's blown up.

[35:27] San Francisco, I assume, deals with a spaceship blowing up right outside the city limits.

[35:33] And the Venom symbiote appears to die while saving Eddie in the form of a parachute,

[35:37] because at this point it has gone full Plastic Man, and it should have that voice.

[35:43] What would it sound like when he's saving?

[35:45] Whee!

[35:47] So we then cut to a funeral where Tom Hardy's burying a shoebox that had Venom.

[35:52] I wish! That would be so great!

[35:54] But he's burying him in the pet cemetery.

[35:56] Oh, no!

[35:58] That's insulting.

[35:59] It was more than a pet.

[36:00] It was a lover.

[36:02] But there's a scene where it is implied that the Venom symbiote takes on a dog as a host body to escape from a hospital,

[36:08] and we never see that dog use Venom powers.

[36:10] And it's like, what goddamn movie did you think you were making?

[36:14] Yeah, at that point we're like, are we watching The Mask again?

[36:19] Somebody stop it!

[36:22] It's bad enough that they teased a lovable cat named Mr. Belvedere and gave him barely—

[36:26] I assume that all his scenes are on the cutting room floor.

[36:30] So I imagine they ran the test.

[36:32] They're like, we ran some audience tests on this dog, Venom.

[36:35] As soon as the symbiote leaves the dog and goes back to human, the test scores plummet.

[36:40] Eddie and Annie are talking on Eddie's stoop.

[36:42] Annie says the immortal line, I'm sorry about Venom.

[36:47] Which is amazing.

[36:49] To be fair, what do you say to a man who's lost a symbiote?

[36:53] You say, I'm sorry about Venom.

[36:55] But it's just so funny that Venom is like, not even, I'm sorry about—

[36:58] She was like, I'm sorry about your thing.

[37:00] But it's like, we're all buddies with Venom now.

[37:03] We all have a little Venom inside of us.

[37:05] Especially Eddie, because it turns out Venom's not dead.

[37:09] Venom's living on inside Eddie.

[37:11] And Venom's like, Eddie, we need to get back together with Annie.

[37:13] She's the right one for us.

[37:15] And it's like, let it go.

[37:18] She's happy now.

[37:19] She's happy. She has a better match.

[37:21] Eddie is a slime ball, essentially.

[37:24] I don't know, man.

[37:25] I think in the right circumstances, a thruple could work.

[37:29] This is a real unicorn situation where the threesome partner is a symbiote?

[37:33] Yeah, I think so.

[37:35] But it's like, symbiote, don't be a creep.

[37:37] Let her move on with her life.

[37:39] There's other fish in the sea.

[37:40] You know that Venom's going to be standing outside her window with that boombox,

[37:43] blasting that Venom song in the credits that just goes,

[37:46] Venom, Venom, Venom, Venom, Venom.

[37:49] There's a brief Stanley cameo, rest in peace.

[37:52] It's wonderful to see him, even though the cameo's kind of dumb,

[37:54] because he's like, you guys are both going to be good.

[37:56] Wink.

[37:57] So Stanley knows that he's got a Venom inside of him.

[38:00] By this point, the movie is surely over, right, Elliot?

[38:02] It seems like everything's been wrapped up in a tiny little Venom bow.

[38:05] Sure seems like it.

[38:06] But first we've got to see Eddie walk down the street talking to Venom about how,

[38:09] okay, we'll eat some people, but only bad people.

[38:11] They go back to the bodega.

[38:13] The guy from earlier shows up and threatens the owner.

[38:16] Venom shows up, and he's like, you ever come back here and do this, you run away.

[38:19] And if you ever come back, I'm going to bite off your arms and legs and your face.

[38:22] And he says, then you'll be just an armless, legless, faceless thing,

[38:24] rolling in the wind like a turd or something like that.

[38:27] Which is like, that's a powerful wind.

[38:29] Yeah.

[38:30] Those are hurricane-force winds if turds are blowing around.

[38:32] Unless it's been lying around so long it's just a dried-up stick at that point.

[38:37] And then he was wasting our time because he goes, on second thought,

[38:41] and he just eats him anyway.

[38:44] He likes to play with his food.

[38:45] He's like, you know what, Eddie, ever since you showed me Princess Bride,

[38:48] I've wanted to do a speech like he gives at the end.

[38:50] And then he just morphs back into Tom Hardy.

[38:54] He shares a quip with the woman who owns the bodega.

[38:57] Who has just seen him turn into a monster and eat a man.

[39:00] And she's like, it's a living.

[39:03] Like, thanks, I have a headless body to clean up and explain now.

[39:07] Clean up an aisle everywhere.

[39:09] Oh, shit.

[39:13] You know, Eddie's just like, and I'll take this five-hour energy drink too, glug.

[39:18] The credits start rolling.

[39:19] Is there a mid-credits scene?

[39:20] Of course there is.

[39:21] We've got to start the sequel already.

[39:24] Eddie rides his motorcycle to San Quentin.

[39:26] He's been chosen by a serial killer to be interviewed,

[39:29] to interview him at this high-security prison, which, I don't know what San,

[39:32] I mean, I listen to Ear Hustle.

[39:33] I don't know if San Quentin is really like it says on the podcast.

[39:35] But they make it seem like it's a medieval fortress, so they keep people.

[39:38] And the serial killer, it's Cletus Kasady, as played by Woody Harrelson in,

[39:43] what would you call it, a Little Orphan Annie or a Ronald McDonald wig?

[39:48] Yeah, it's weird.

[39:49] I would not have chosen a famously bald person for this role.

[39:54] Because it just, like, extra heightens.

[39:57] It extra heightens how ridiculous that hair looks.

[40:00] Honest, no one resembles Cletus Kasady more physically

[40:02] than Carrot Top.

[40:03] So like, throw him in the movie.

[40:05] He would be really good at it.

[40:06] I assume they got Woody Harrelson

[40:07] because Cletus Kasady is a Southern boy.

[40:10] But, and that's what Woody Harrelson plays

[40:11] for the most part.

[40:12] But it's what's, I'm like, okay,

[40:14] in the comics Eddie Brock is blonde.

[40:16] Here he's played by a brunette, Tom Hardy.

[40:17] I don't care, that's fine.

[40:19] So why does Woody Harrelson's hair

[40:20] have to be the same as Carnage's?

[40:22] Because he looks ridiculous.

[40:23] And he goes, and Woody Harrelson's like,

[40:25] look, we could play our little serial killer

[40:27] cat and mouse mind game game, but let's not do that.

[40:29] This is after we've seen him already write

[40:31] welcome Eddie in his own blood on the wall of his cell.

[40:33] And he goes, let me just tell you this.

[40:34] If I get out, there's going to be Carnage.

[40:37] And it's like, and then cut to the rest of the credits.

[40:39] And it's like, wait a minute.

[40:41] So he's saying-

[40:41] Porky Pig shows up.

[40:44] Like, but he, but he, but he, that shoehorned in folks.

[40:47] It's such a, and like, he needs to say Carnage

[40:49] so that people know, oh, it's going to be Carnage

[40:51] in the next movie.

[40:52] Because what other villain does Venom have?

[40:54] Is it going to be the Mace?

[40:55] No, nobody remembers that character.

[40:57] Even though the series he was in was called Venom, the Mace.

[41:00] Anyway, so that's for the real Venom heads out there.

[41:03] That's for the real V-Boys.

[41:04] The real Venmo's.

[41:05] Venmo's.

[41:07] Do you think there was, do you think there should have been

[41:09] a scene where some like tech startup douche was like

[41:12] walking along and he heard him saying, we are Venom.

[41:15] And he was like, Venom, Venmo.

[41:18] That's what I'll call my payment app.

[41:19] That's what I'll call my app that makes it

[41:21] so people don't ever have cash on them

[41:22] and homeless people die of starvation

[41:24] because they don't get money.

[41:26] Come on.

[41:27] Jesus.

[41:28] Because I'm the one who's doing that.

[41:30] I'm for a cash full society, man.

[41:32] So, but anyway, but it's like what,

[41:34] what Cleese Cassidy is saying is don't let me out.

[41:36] Basically, it's not a, it's a weird message

[41:39] for him to deliver in an interview.

[41:40] Here's my message to the world.

[41:42] Keep me in prison.

[41:44] I am way too dangerous to trust.

[41:47] And then the credits seemed, we looked at the time bar

[41:50] and it was like, how are there 12 minutes

[41:52] of credits after this?

[41:53] It's because they then threw in a scene

[41:55] from Into the Spider-Verse to like get you interested

[41:57] in that, and it's like, what a weird chaser

[41:59] to throw onto the iTunes of Venom.

[42:01] It's like a scene from a much better movie.

[42:03] I think that was in theaters too.

[42:04] Did they do that in theaters?

[42:05] From what I understand, I think so.

[42:06] No, that's great.

[42:07] Yeah, that, it's like in that, in Reign of Fire

[42:10] where they're acting out the scenes from Star Wars

[42:13] and you're like, oh yeah, I could just be watching

[42:15] Star Wars now.

[42:18] Yeah, so that's Venom, the movie.

[42:22] Yeah.

[42:23] We should give our final judgments on it.

[42:27] What not entirely appropriate categories

[42:30] to my emotions are there?

[42:31] Okay, well our traditional categories are,

[42:34] is this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie,

[42:36] or a movie we kind of liked?

[42:39] Elliot, you seem very ambivalent.

[42:42] I do, because here's the thing.

[42:44] It's not any of those things for me.

[42:45] I didn't, there are things I do, what I like in it

[42:48] are the parts that are crazy nutso.

[42:50] And, but they're like, the action scenes

[42:52] don't really work for me, and it's like,

[42:54] I couldn't tell if I liked that it felt like

[42:56] a 1980s action movie where the characters

[42:58] just kind of do whatever based on what the plot

[43:00] needs to do, or if that bugged me.

[43:02] It's like, I don't need a realistic version of a movie

[43:04] where a guy has a magic costume that gives him

[43:07] spider powers, you know?

[43:08] But, or unless, I guess it's a magic ring

[43:11] that gives them, what is it, flight powers?

[43:13] And that it's a movie version of Fortress of Solitude

[43:15] by Jonathan Lethem, that'd be pretty cool.

[43:16] It has to be pretty realistic, right?

[43:17] Anyway, forget it.

[43:18] That's, but like, I didn't really like it that much

[43:21] because it was like, you know, they made Venom

[43:23] kind of generic, and it really bothered me

[43:26] that the Venom character has no learning curve

[43:28] about life on Earth.

[43:29] He's just instantly like, cool, party dude.

[43:32] Like, there's a part where he's,

[43:36] the first time you really hear him talk a lot,

[43:37] he's like, you're being a wimp, stop being such a pussy.

[43:40] And it's like, what the hell is this?

[43:44] So I would say it's not really any of those things.

[43:45] It's not terrible, but it's not amazing, like Spider-Man.

[43:49] So yeah, that didn't fit any of the categories.

[43:51] I'm going to say this is kind of,

[43:54] this is a movie I kind of like,

[43:55] because Tom Hardy gives this like crazy performance,

[44:00] and yeah, and he's talking to Venom, too.

[44:02] I will say, the stuff that I thought

[44:03] I wasn't going to like about it

[44:04] is the stuff that I liked the most about it,

[44:06] where he's like, oh God, get me over here.

[44:08] I don't know, I'm on a boat, I've got to jump

[44:10] into this lobster tank and take a bite out of a lobster.

[44:15] Yeah, the face he makes when he's eating that lobster

[44:18] in front of a room full of like snooty old snobs.

[44:21] He showed them.

[44:22] It's a crazy movie in that it should be a movie

[44:25] about a regular guy whose life turns upside down

[44:27] when he gets this alien costume,

[44:28] but his life is already crazy.

[44:30] He's like, it's like a crazy guy gets a crazy costume.

[44:34] Yeah, I kind of like the movie, too.

[44:36] I don't know, it's a-

[44:37] You know what, I'll say kind of like also.

[44:38] If you guys are going that far, I'll join you on that ledge.

[44:40] Yeah, not bad, Venom.

[44:43] It works best as a buddy movie

[44:44] between a weirdo and some goop.

[44:45] And on that level, I really enjoyed it.

[44:53] We are so thrilled at your interest

[44:55] in attending Hieronymus Wiggenstaff's

[44:58] School for Heroism and Villainy.

[45:00] Wiggenstaff's beautiful campus

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[45:31] how long that lifetime will be.

[45:33] Join the McElroys as they return to Dungeons & Dragons

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[45:39] every other Thursday on Maximum Fun,

[45:42] or wherever podcasts are found.

[45:45] I listen to Bullseye because

[45:47] Jesse always has really good questions.

[45:49] What did John Malkovich wear when he was 20?

[45:52] Duh, I don't know how to describe it.

[45:55] There's always that moment where Jesse asks a question

[45:58] that the person he's interviewing

[46:00] has not thought of before.

[46:02] I don't think anyone's ever said that to me

[46:04] or acknowledged that to me, and that is so real.

[46:07] Bullseye, interviews with creators you love

[46:10] and creators you need to know.

[46:13] From MaximumFun.org and NPR.

[46:17] Hey there, family of flop.

[46:18] It's Dan here with his patented solo ad reads.

[46:22] This is a live show, so we did not know at the time

[46:26] who would be kind enough to sponsor us,

[46:27] so I come in like some sort of post-production sup,

[46:32] I don't wanna say superhero, just regular hero is enough

[46:35] to tell you about products and services

[46:37] and Jumbotrons and such.

[46:39] I almost forgot that I had to do this.

[46:42] It's been a while since we put up a live show,

[46:43] but we thought let's give us a break

[46:45] for the Thanksgiving holiday.

[46:48] So we can all, you know,

[46:50] instead of sitting in front of microphones,

[46:52] we can stuff our faces with turkey

[46:55] or whatever my vegan brother's family

[46:58] is going to serve me this year.

[47:01] The Flophouse is brought to you in part by Casper.

[47:05] Casper is a sleep brand that makes

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[47:10] get your best rest one night at a time.

[47:14] And I have my own Casper mattress.

[47:17] Casper serendipitously sent me a sample

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[47:25] so I was in desperate need of a mattress.

[47:29] This is getting a little too personal.

[47:31] I don't know why I'm saying this,

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[48:07] by visiting Casper.com slash Flophouse

[48:11] and using Flophouse at checkout.

[48:14] That's Casper.com slash Flophouse

[48:17] and using Flophouse at checkout.

[48:20] Terms and conditions apply.

[48:23] Hey guys, you hear that?

[48:25] Do you hear any of this stuff?

[48:26] There's a party going upstairs.

[48:30] And I'm hearing a lot of chatter,

[48:32] a lot of knockabout noises from above.

[48:36] But you know what?

[48:37] That's what happens when you don't have a studio.

[48:40] So please continue to donate to MaximumFun.org

[48:45] and buy us a studio.

[48:47] That's not gonna happen,

[48:48] but thank you for everyone who does donate.

[48:49] Hey guys.

[48:51] Okay, well that was a noise from a messenger

[48:56] from my girlfriend asking me

[48:59] whether I'm done with what I was doing before.

[49:01] So that's useful for you, that bell noise.

[49:07] Hey, there's a Jumbostron, Jumbostron.

[49:11] Jumbotron here.

[49:13] It wants you to check out Wishlist Wildermyth on Steam

[49:18] or maybe it's Wishlist Wildermyth.

[49:21] It is spelled Wilder like Gene Wilder, myth.

[49:25] But maybe it's Wildermyth, who knows?

[49:28] Wildermyth is a new game on Steam

[49:30] that captures the spirit of Dungeons and Dragons.

[49:33] You know what?

[49:34] It's probably Wildermyth, right?

[49:36] If it's a Dungeons and Dragons, let's just...

[49:38] Wildermyth is a new game on Steam

[49:41] that captures the spirit of Dungeons and Dragons

[49:43] and other tabletop RPGs.

[49:46] It is a myth-making tactical RPG

[49:49] different every time you play.

[49:51] Customize your heroes.

[49:53] They grow old, form relationships,

[49:55] transform, and make sacrifices.

[49:58] For a second, I read that as make.

[50:00] sandwiches which they probably do as well then they go into your legacy

[50:04] to be used in the next game so check out

[50:08] wish list

[50:09] wilder myth on steam

[50:13] uh... there's one

[50:14] other

[50:15] jumbotron

[50:17] containment wall

[50:19] fifteen

[50:20] is a novel read in blood

[50:23] and tape

[50:25] read in blood and tape

[50:27] set after a zombie-like pandemic has been brought under control

[50:32] but at a high cost

[50:34] to save humanity vast enclosed cities were erected trapping both the living

[50:40] dead

[50:41] and the unlucky inside

[50:43] life outside the walls has returned to normal

[50:46] but there are those willing to risk everything to save their loved ones

[50:51] a study in what it is to live on after death

[50:54] it also features a small reference to the best podcast ever

[50:58] well i'm sure

[51:00] roman mars will be

[51:02] very happy about your ninety nine percent invisible reference

[51:06] uh... but by this containment wall fifteen and other works by simon

[51:11] m grieves as paperback or e-book

[51:15] from amazon

[51:17] uh... look i don't need to waste your time any longer

[51:20] that's the ad section

[51:22] deal with it

[51:23] and now

[51:24] back to the show but let's not belabor anything because we only have

[51:28] as i said before limited time here

[51:30] okay yes so

[51:31] on this earth why are you pausing?

[51:35] your answer to having limited time is

[51:39] to talk slower

[51:40] uh... so

[51:42] we have maybe fifteen maybe twenty minutes to uh... talk to the audience

[51:46] take questions which is something we like to do in live shows

[51:49] so uh...

[51:50] there's a microphone right here if people want to come down and have a

[51:54] question

[51:55] and we'll do it for as long as we can because it's on to questions on to

[51:59] questions ask us questions now

[52:03] ask us questions ask us questions i don't know how the rest of the song goes

[52:11] alright that was a much shorter uh... question song than i usually get

[52:16] hi i'm lauren last name withheld

[52:19] hello thanks for coming to the show thank you for being here especially when

[52:22] it's an ice ball

[52:24] uh... so

[52:26] in this is a question inspired by my favorite scene in the movie which was

[52:30] eddie brock listening to an eckhart tolle meditation

[52:35] oh yeah yeah he wants to meditate but his neighbor is playing his guitar too darn loud

[52:39] and then he

[52:40] eats the neighbor or whatever

[52:43] Eckhart Tolle in a Venom movie just made me just so unexpectedly happy

[52:49] what sort of weird real life cultural artifacts just showing up into a

[52:54] fantastic movie like that

[52:57] have sort of like

[52:58] given you a little like ooh

[53:00] yay

[53:03] i'm gonna vamp by talking for a while

[53:06] about not this question

[53:08] because it looks like

[53:10] elliot is thinking

[53:12] i am

[53:13] and so thinking

[53:15] about

[53:16] how about this weather cold enough for you

[53:19] for me it's like uh... i think something like that was in the movie twelve monkeys

[53:23] when they go and they watch vertigo

[53:25] and it's like

[53:26] oh like this scene from vertigo

[53:28] she's not talking about time travel she's talking about reincarnation

[53:31] but it fits what's going on in the movie so well

[53:33] this is where i lived in this is where i died and all that like

[53:35] i was like

[53:36] terry you found a new way to use a great scene you know that i really like that a

[53:40] lot and that they didn't just go into like

[53:42] a random movie for

[53:43] a made up movie or something like that

[53:45] i think i have an answer

[53:48] and it's uh... it's not the cheddar goblin that's not a real thing stewart

[53:53] and uh... i remember watching uh... the forty-year-old virgin and there's you

[53:58] know it's just like

[53:59] silly gross out comedy but then they cut to shots of steve carell painting little

[54:04] uh... games workshop writers of rohirrim

[54:07] like well that's pretty cool movie

[54:10] that's a cool serious hobby to paint tiny little plastic soldiers

[54:13] i had the exact opposite experience with the forty-year-old virgin because he's supposed to be like a real comic book fan

[54:17] he has framed comics on the walls and they are all new comics that are worth nothing

[54:21] and i was like i'm like steve did you write or draw that book

[54:25] because why are you framing that it's worth three dollars

[54:30] and i have no answer

[54:32] thank you very much for your question

[54:37] hello

[54:38] my name is john charles uh... last name withheld

[54:40] uh... i have a sort of spider-man adjacent question

[54:44] as spider-man into the spider-verse proved for us audience are absolutely ready for a movie

[54:48] in which we can watch

[54:49] what like five six different versions of the same character on screen at the same time

[54:52] not get confused not get lost

[54:54] so it was up to y'all

[54:55] if you could make a movie and have um... as many characters of a specific actor

[54:59] on screen at one time as possible

[55:01] which actor would you make a movie around? Sherlock Holmes

[55:06] there have been so many Sherlock Holmes and i want all of them in the same movie

[55:11] fair, very fair, yeah

[55:13] and they're

[55:14] and they're like i wonder if they would all come to the same conclusion at the exact same

[55:19] time or no i love the idea of one where they are actively competing and they each get a

[55:23] chance to outsmart the other ones but the last clue watson figures out

[55:26] and then you open the door and there's ten watsons all working on the clue

[55:32] uh... actor specifically or character? whichever comes

[55:36] i mean i want to see a movie where every character nicholas cage plays is together

[55:41] like ghost riders in there wild at heart is in there leaving las vegas is in there

[55:45] all of mandy is in there

[55:47] honeymoon in vegas is in there like they're all raising arizona's in there all of them

[55:51] or godzilla every godzilla i mean

[55:52] there's that scene in godzilla final wars when he goes up against the american godzilla

[55:55] and he just destroys him in twenty seconds

[55:59] sorry i was just i was still fantasizing about my sherlock holmes movie

[56:02] i was imagining a scene where jeremy brett perhaps

[56:06] my favorite and

[56:07] the maybe the most uh...

[56:09] true to the books uh...

[56:11] sherlock holmes

[56:13] competes with sherlock gnomes

[56:16] it's like what is this thing i have to deal with? i guess it would be like basil rathbone is in black

[56:20] and white

[56:21] i think uh... brenner cumberbatch and sherlock gnomes and like the great mouse detective

[56:25] the great mouse detective would be there too

[56:27] because he's a garden gnome

[56:30] that's what the books are about right? is garden gnomes

[56:34] and they're going after what?

[56:37] what do you think guys? and he's an animator

[56:41] i mean you took mine you said nicolas cage

[56:45] because it's the only answer sherlock gnomes thank you very much for the question

[56:48] thanks for coming

[56:53] hello

[56:54] i'm going to give you a grinch mcfacebook name withheld

[56:59] so king john hodgepin

[57:01] doctor thornapus

[57:02] the green jordan

[57:03] and i guess the

[57:05] stufford mccleroys

[57:06] fire a particle accelerator and remove the three of you from this universe

[57:10] my children

[57:13] they'll grow up without a father which alternate versions of yourself come through the rift to help

[57:18] flopper hally

[57:19] teach young jupin morales how to use his powers for good

[57:23] well i'm already

[57:25] the

[57:27] divorce kind of

[57:28] that version of myself

[57:32] so i would be paid by jake johnson okay

[57:35] uh... i'd probably be played by

[57:37] i guess like that

[57:39] late seventies harrison ford

[57:41] okay that's pretty

[57:42] yeah i feel like a super cool kind of space pirate me you know

[57:45] i mean i'm basically spider ham so i don't know what it is

[57:48] i want i went to see in the spider verse with two friends of mine and

[57:51] all spider-man was on the first time on the turn of the week

[57:57] thank you seth his name is set by the friend of mine

[58:00] and i think i want to be played by a martial arts movie villain below you

[58:06] because he's got that like

[58:07] you know that like

[58:08] coolness and toughness that i see

[58:11] what do you think it

[58:13] uh... yeah like i said what would be the and i don't know who i would be uh...

[58:18] yeah i'd like to be like what there's a good

[58:21] a nice like muppet version of myself

[58:24] that would be pretty cool

[58:27] just like a like a new zealand type

[58:29] so you're a fish throwing muppet? that no one really likes?

[58:35] that was when my son was learning all the muppets there were the few where it was like

[58:38] what's this and he's like who's this and i'm like he's a new zealand like don't even get me started

[58:42] he's got a shakespearean ruff and he throws fish i don't... i was hoping that you'd be older

[58:46] before i had to explain new zealand to you

[58:49] and this prawn

[58:51] let's wait let's wait on the prawn

[58:53] i hope that goes somewhere to answer the question

[58:57] okay let's keep it moving let's keep it moving come on badgers

[59:00] all right my name's matt last name withheld first i gotta say it's my

[59:04] birthday today and i drove six hours to get here

[59:11] just kidding my girlfriend drove me here so she's awesome

[59:15] now we've been talking a lot about venom and i know you guys are experts with comic

[59:19] books so i decided to ask you a question about Dungeons and Dragons

[59:23] sure this one's directed for Dan Dungeons and Dragons fan

[59:27] so i'm a high school teacher i have a Dungeons and Dragons club after school so it's very

[59:31] difficult to teach all day and then come up with a dnd campaign like right after

[59:36] school so what movies can i steal plots from and not harry potter don't give me

[59:42] the obvious ones uh-huh uh i mean basically any vin diesel movie

[59:46] uh i don't know like dragon slayer

[59:52] you know it's something not fantasy the favorite

[1:00:00] Uh, uh, Bohemian Rhapsody.

[1:00:05] Alright.

[1:00:06] He's just going through the Oscar nominees now.

[1:00:09] Oh no.

[1:00:11] Venom.

[1:00:13] Trouble with the Curve.

[1:00:18] Dan in Real Life.

[1:00:20] All About Steve.

[1:00:22] Margot at the Wedding.

[1:00:25] I mean, like, the plot of Little Miss Sunshine would make a good D&D adventure.

[1:00:30] Those are all things that high school students are motivated to do in a fantasy game that they take their time to do.

[1:00:37] Okay, well, what about, like, uh...

[1:00:41] Stew?

[1:00:44] Uh...

[1:00:47] Uh...

[1:00:49] I don't know, Dan?

[1:00:50] Baby Geniuses.

[1:00:51] Baby Geniuses 1 and 2.

[1:00:52] Okay.

[1:00:53] Yeah.

[1:00:54] Perfect answer.

[1:00:55] Wow.

[1:00:56] We let you down on your birthday so hard.

[1:00:59] You're like, that was not worth the drive.

[1:01:02] The gentleman in the Great Sluggo is Lit t-shirt.

[1:01:05] Thank you.

[1:01:07] My name's Anthony, last name withheld.

[1:01:09] So we all know that Stewart has two dishes named after him.

[1:01:12] Beef Stew and Beef Wellington.

[1:01:14] Yep, correct.

[1:01:15] So, Dan and I, my question is, if you guys had food items named after yourselves, what would they be?

[1:01:20] I mean, I live in Los Angeles, so it would be something with kale in.

[1:01:24] It's some kind of, like, kale in salad, probably.

[1:01:27] Dan?

[1:01:28] Does it have to be a pun, or, like, does it...

[1:01:31] I mean, if it's named after me, it should have my name in it somewhere.

[1:01:34] No, it's Fried Elliot, and it's me, and they deep fry me.

[1:01:38] And I'm dead, and once again, my children don't have a father, yeah.

[1:01:42] You're right.

[1:01:47] That was such a dumb question.

[1:01:51] Does the food named after me have to have my name in it?

[1:01:56] Or can I just pick, like, a Reuben?

[1:01:59] Which is someone else's name.

[1:02:01] No, but does it have to be a pun?

[1:02:02] You could, like, name an existing food after yourself.

[1:02:05] It doesn't, like, like, Beef Wellington is just, like, a food named after Wellington.

[1:02:10] It's not, like, it's a pun on something else.

[1:02:14] I didn't know that was one of the rules, Dan.

[1:02:17] Because if it doesn't have to be, like, I can't think of a good food pun.

[1:02:20] That's all I'm saying.

[1:02:21] What happens if you get this wrong, Dan?

[1:02:23] Are you going to go to jail?

[1:02:25] Like, what's wrong with you?

[1:02:27] Is it going to take your tongue away?

[1:02:29] You'll never eat food again?

[1:02:30] Just say personal Dan Pizza and move on.

[1:02:33] All right.

[1:02:34] I'm moving on.

[1:02:35] Hi.

[1:02:45] Brady, last name withheld.

[1:02:47] So the conversation earlier about the Venom Dog and how much better of a movie this would have been if it happened made me think,

[1:02:55] what other movies would benefit from a quirky animal companion?

[1:03:01] Well, not Oh, Heavenly Dog, because that already has Chevy Chase as a dog.

[1:03:05] So that one's taken.

[1:03:06] Beast Master.

[1:03:08] No, wait, hold on.

[1:03:10] The Mask.

[1:03:12] And I'm going to say Jaws.

[1:03:14] Movies that would benefit from an animal, quirky animal companion.

[1:03:19] I mean, yes, Lincoln starring Daniel Day-Lewis.

[1:03:23] If his real-life dog was like, I think it's probably time to free the slaves now, man.

[1:03:29] I mean, I don't know.

[1:03:30] I'm just a dog.

[1:03:31] He talks like that because he's a quirky dog.

[1:03:32] What if in My Dinner with Andre, Andre Gregory just had, like, a hamster on the table the whole time?

[1:03:37] That would be wonderful.

[1:03:38] I mean, I did write a sketch for Mystery Science Theater where it is revealed that all the waiters are raptors

[1:03:42] and Wallace Shawn has to fight the raptors.

[1:03:46] Was that in the show?

[1:03:47] It was in the first season, yeah.

[1:03:48] Okay.

[1:03:49] Thanks for watching, Dan.

[1:03:51] Best friend, everybody.

[1:03:52] I watched like the first five, I think.

[1:03:55] I mean, there were roughly 3,000 hours of content in that season.

[1:03:58] So, yeah, so my favorite, you know, just pick any character and just give them a talking dog

[1:04:03] and have that talking dog be like a cabby type character.

[1:04:05] Oh, boy, boy, boss, uh-oh.

[1:04:09] I think we got to watch out for this Hitler boss.

[1:04:11] And FDR is like, follow, please.

[1:04:13] It's going to be okay.

[1:04:15] This is not related to that other than there being a talking dog, but everyone should look up Puchinski.

[1:04:20] Oh, the TV show?

[1:04:21] On the Internet.

[1:04:24] Yeah, it's a great failed pilot for a sitcom with a talking dog cop anyway.

[1:04:29] Well, he's like a ghost of a cop and a dog.

[1:04:31] Ghost of a cop and a dog.

[1:04:32] Yeah.

[1:04:34] And I don't know why it didn't go eight seasons.

[1:04:38] Thank you very much for being here.

[1:04:39] All right, questions.

[1:04:40] Let's do a rapid fire.

[1:04:41] Sorry that we're taking so long.

[1:04:43] I want to talk to as many people as possible.

[1:04:44] Awesome.

[1:04:45] Drew, last name withheld.

[1:04:46] And, yes, seconded on Puchinski.

[1:04:48] Peter Boyle, by the way, is the talking dog.

[1:04:50] Yes.

[1:04:52] I have a question.

[1:04:53] I wonder, I really like when theme park rides are themed after movies or even if it doesn't really fit, like it's a reverse roller coaster.

[1:05:02] Like that Ordinary People ride?

[1:05:04] Yeah, exactly.

[1:05:05] You're anticipating my question.

[1:05:07] If you could have a theme park ride after any movie franchise that you love, what would the movie be and what kind of ride would it be?

[1:05:16] Eight words.

[1:05:17] Eight words.

[1:05:18] Taking of Pelham.

[1:05:20] One, two, three.

[1:05:22] You get on a train.

[1:05:24] Gunmen come on.

[1:05:25] Uh-oh, we're going to take this train.

[1:05:27] Oh, no.

[1:05:28] And then they get off and the train just goes real fast, like around turns and stuff.

[1:05:31] And then when it ends, there's an animatronic Walter Matthau that's like, well, everybody, I hope you enjoyed the ride.

[1:05:36] Go this way to leave.

[1:05:39] I mean, it's not really a funny answer, but I feel like a gremlin's ride.

[1:05:42] I mean, because, like, they're basically puppets anyway.

[1:05:45] Not even basically.

[1:05:46] They are.

[1:05:47] Wait, hold on.

[1:05:48] Hold on, Elliot.

[1:05:49] I don't know, Dan.

[1:05:50] They might be actual gremlins.

[1:05:52] This is how I wanted to break the news to you.

[1:05:54] I know you've been planning this vacation to where the gremlins are from.

[1:05:59] And you've been going through all those ancient tomes about western explorers who went to far off Asia to find out exactly where it is.

[1:06:07] You go to Dan's house and there's just 100-year-old, 400-year-old maps tacked up to the walls with just scrawled on them, gremlin, question mark?

[1:06:15] I didn't want you to find out this way, that gremlins, they were puppets.

[1:06:19] I meant to say because they're puppets, they're basically animatronics, like, so, like, you could do a ride.

[1:06:24] Oh, that would be fantastic, yeah.

[1:06:25] Yeah.

[1:06:26] Stuart?

[1:06:27] This doesn't answer the question, but I really wish the –

[1:06:31] I really wish they leaned into it at Cedar Point with the roller coaster Magnum where they just had, like, Dirty Harry there.

[1:06:39] Based on the condom or –

[1:06:40] Yeah, based on –

[1:06:41] Dan, why do you got to be gross?

[1:06:44] It's my brand.

[1:06:46] They had, like, Dirty Harry holding a pistol and it's like, you got to be this tall, punk, to ride this ride.

[1:06:51] It's a huge gun that shoots the roller coaster out.

[1:06:53] And then at the end it's like, well, do you feel entertained, punk?

[1:06:56] Those movies were set in San Francisco too, right?

[1:06:59] Yeah, they are.

[1:07:00] So we got some great movies this year set in San Francisco.

[1:07:02] This year?

[1:07:03] Yeah, Dirty Harry came out this year, right?

[1:07:07] You got Venom.

[1:07:08] You got Dirty Harry.

[1:07:09] You got –

[1:07:10] Bullet.

[1:07:11] Zodiac.

[1:07:12] Zodiac, Bullet, Vertigo, all of this year's hits.

[1:07:17] Please, sir.

[1:07:20] Hi, Carl.

[1:07:21] Last name withheld.

[1:07:22] Hi, Carl.

[1:07:23] I watched Shin Godzilla the other day.

[1:07:24] Not a lot happens for a movie about a colossal as they're destroying a major population center.

[1:07:27] Well, finish your question and then I'll argue with you.

[1:07:29] Okay.

[1:07:30] What is your favorite movie with the least amount of plot?

[1:07:33] Oh, interesting.

[1:07:34] I mean, one, it's about –

[1:07:35] Shin Godzilla, a lot happens in terms of clearing away an elderly bureaucracy to make way for the young activist workers

[1:07:40] who know how to handle a public health crisis in the form of a giant monster.

[1:07:44] But no, movies where there's not a lot of –

[1:07:45] I mean, Dan mentioned My Dinner with Andre earlier, which is a movie that has no plot.

[1:07:48] It is a conversation between two men.

[1:07:50] And, like, any time it's on and I stumble on it or I'm watching it, I cannot move away from it

[1:07:55] because I think, like, the kind of the passion of the two people involved is so palpable to me,

[1:08:00] and it is the whitest movie ever made.

[1:08:03] Like, it is about two relatively affluent people who work in the theater arts talking about, like, their midlife crises.

[1:08:10] But, you know, there's no plot, but I really get into it.

[1:08:12] Yeah.

[1:08:13] Maybe something like Tokyo Story, which is just about elderly people being ignored, and that's kind of the plot.

[1:08:19] And you're like, yes, thank you.

[1:08:20] Yeah.

[1:08:21] I'm like, they've had it too good for too long.

[1:08:24] Make way for the next generation until I get old, which is right around the corner.

[1:08:29] Yep.

[1:08:30] And then you're going to be like, hands off my Medicare.

[1:08:32] You can all die now.

[1:08:33] Yep.

[1:08:35] I mean, I'd say something like, I don't know, like Valhalla Rising,

[1:08:38] where it's just Mads Mikkelsen wandering around and there's no dialogue at all, basically.

[1:08:42] He's just wandering around blasted landscapes and then occasionally killing people.

[1:08:45] Yeah.

[1:08:46] Yeah.

[1:08:47] That's pretty great.

[1:08:48] Nice question.

[1:08:52] All right.

[1:08:53] Hi.

[1:08:54] First name withheld, Kroll.

[1:08:55] Okay.

[1:08:56] Interesting.

[1:08:57] So I was just watching the 2006 Doom movie.

[1:09:02] With The Rock, is it?

[1:09:03] Yeah.

[1:09:04] Okay.

[1:09:05] And I was thinking, man, Alien is a really good movie.

[1:09:08] Not a controversial statement.

[1:09:11] Alien is perhaps the most perfectly made movie ever.

[1:09:13] Do you just call him The Rock because if so, you have to pay Vince McMahon money?

[1:09:17] I love paying Vince McMahon license fees.

[1:09:19] You've got to call him DJ.

[1:09:21] I remember seeing him as a guest to promote that movie.

[1:09:24] Maybe it was on The Daily Show.

[1:09:25] And the clip that they showed was 90% close-ups of that giant gun.

[1:09:30] And at the end, he's like, whoa.

[1:09:31] And that was the clip they chose to promote the movie.

[1:09:35] But, yes, so.

[1:09:36] But so in thinking of a much better movie, I was wondering,

[1:09:39] what are your favorite sci-fi set pieces?

[1:09:42] Set pieces?

[1:09:43] Like scenes or whatever?

[1:09:45] Maybe I'm misusing the word.

[1:09:47] Just like, you know, sets in general.

[1:09:50] I mean, Alien is, like, the best designed movie.

[1:09:53] But I took it.

[1:09:54] Oh, God.

[1:09:55] You can't be like, tell me your favorite, but not this one.

[1:09:59] So the real question is,

[1:10:00] Question was, tell me your second favorite.

[1:10:02] All right, Aliens.

[1:10:03] Boom, beat ya.

[1:10:05] No, no, but guys, what would you think?

[1:10:06] What's it like a, I mean like,

[1:10:08] Blade Runner's a beautiful movie

[1:10:09] that I don't enjoy as a narrative,

[1:10:10] but I enjoy it as a series of visual images.

[1:10:13] Even, and even the new Blade Runner's gorgeous.

[1:10:15] It's beautiful.

[1:10:16] Again, not one where I was like engaged in the story,

[1:10:19] but it's like, show me these pictures,

[1:10:20] give me this, this like, the Blade Runner movies

[1:10:21] are where I'm like, I wanna see a coffee table version

[1:10:24] of this movie.

[1:10:25] Did anyone pick Alien yet?

[1:10:27] Yeah.

[1:10:29] What about Flesh Gordon?

[1:10:32] Does that count?

[1:10:33] I don't, I mean, if you wanna choose it,

[1:10:37] the designs are hideous, because it's like,

[1:10:39] how do we make a spaceship look kind of like balls?

[1:10:45] Yeah, that's, we didn't answer that one.

[1:10:47] We promised to keep it as close to 90 minutes as possible,

[1:10:50] and we've already gone over,

[1:10:51] I think we, two more questions,

[1:10:52] I'm sorry for everyone behind.

[1:10:54] I'm gonna say three more, how about three more?

[1:10:55] Oh, three more, all right.

[1:10:57] But we will be around a little bit afterwards,

[1:10:59] so we'll talk about that at the end of the show.

[1:11:00] We're not going anywhere, the show's gonna be over,

[1:11:01] but I mean, I said, welcome, my friends,

[1:11:04] the show that never ends, by which I mean life,

[1:11:05] and we're gonna be here, so.

[1:11:08] Emerson, Lake, and Palmer are here, everybody.

[1:11:10] Hey guys, Patrick, last name withheld.

[1:11:13] Stuart, you mentioned that you were at the bar

[1:11:14] in San Francisco, where they shot that scene.

[1:11:17] Yes.

[1:11:18] In that scene, there's like a TV playing,

[1:11:20] I guess the evening news, and like, Drake is on it,

[1:11:22] and he's talking, and Tom Hardy gets upset,

[1:11:24] and he's like, turn this off, and someone says,

[1:11:26] hey buddy, keep it down, I'm trying to watch this.

[1:11:28] So, at that bar, like, do they show the evening news?

[1:11:30] That was me, he shot me, it's like,

[1:11:32] I'm trying to watch this, it's a scene from Venom,

[1:11:34] the movie.

[1:11:35] How often at that bar, and your own bar in Brooklyn,

[1:11:38] do you show the evening news, and then people get upset

[1:11:41] when people talk over it, because they're trying

[1:11:43] to watch the news at the bar?

[1:11:44] And I guess, you know, what's your favorite, like,

[1:11:45] bullshit movie bar conventions?

[1:11:47] I know this is a question for Stuart,

[1:11:48] but I did literally, at that point in the movie,

[1:11:50] say to the other guys, in this movie,

[1:11:53] the thing I believe least is that this guy at a bar

[1:11:56] is like, hold on, I want to listen to that tech billionaire.

[1:12:00] I mean, like, at my bar, we basically only show, like,

[1:12:04] special events and RuPaul's Drag Race.

[1:12:08] So, and nobody's allowed to, you know, interrupt that.

[1:12:14] My favorite bar convention in movies is always,

[1:12:17] anytime somebody sits down at the bar,

[1:12:19] and they order a drink, and they're like,

[1:12:21] leave the bottle, because in my head, I'm like,

[1:12:24] how much would I fucking charge that guy?

[1:12:28] Like, how, like, estimating how many shots,

[1:12:31] and we're like, oh, let me get one.

[1:12:32] You gotta pour it into a, into like a measuring cup

[1:12:34] afterwards, and then pour it back into the bottle?

[1:12:37] You bring out a scale from behind the bar,

[1:12:38] you're like, all right, now I gotta, okay,

[1:12:40] I gotta take out the bottle from this weight, so.

[1:12:43] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:12:46] And I just like whenever anyone sits down, they go, beer.

[1:12:51] Do people do that at your bar?

[1:12:53] Sometimes, I usually ask for ID at that point.

[1:12:58] I've heard of this thing called beer.

[1:12:59] And if you're a cop, I always ask for ID.

[1:13:04] Oh, a Henderlin's Bar t-shirt, all right.

[1:13:06] Cool shirt alert.

[1:13:08] Thanks.

[1:13:08] Yeah, if you guys ever go to Brooklyn,

[1:13:10] you should check this place out, it's called Henderlin's.

[1:13:12] I don't like it.

[1:13:12] Oh, okay, Henderlin's, oh.

[1:13:14] All right, so my name's Jarrett, last name withheld,

[1:13:16] and I, along with a couple other people,

[1:13:18] I'm a fan of the John Wick movies,

[1:13:20] and a staple of those movies is, you know,

[1:13:21] the action scenes, you know,

[1:13:22] they're really well choreographed,

[1:13:23] the camera's really tight,

[1:13:24] you always know what's going on, it's great.

[1:13:26] But now every time I see like a different action movie,

[1:13:28] even a really, really well-reviewed one,

[1:13:30] the action scenes, you know,

[1:13:31] I notice all the jump cuts a lot more,

[1:13:33] the choreography, yeah, it seems a little bit sloppier.

[1:13:35] So I was like, are there any movie or series movies

[1:13:38] that does one thing so very well

[1:13:40] that that thing is ruined in all the movies,

[1:13:42] purely by point of comparison?

[1:13:44] Hmm, that's a good question.

[1:13:46] I would have said that like the,

[1:13:48] this is the nerdiest possible response to that,

[1:13:50] but the original Star Wars movies,

[1:13:53] it's like, if you watch any other science fiction movie

[1:13:56] from around that period, and then for the next 20 years,

[1:13:58] except for Alien, which as we mentioned is perfect,

[1:14:00] you're like, hmm, this is not it.

[1:14:02] Like I was watching,

[1:14:03] the first time I saw Logan's run as an adult,

[1:14:05] I was like, oh yeah,

[1:14:06] this is not that long before Star Wars,

[1:14:08] this is around the same time,

[1:14:10] and it looks like it was made 20 years earlier.

[1:14:12] Like, and then you look at movies that came out

[1:14:14] in the wake of Star Wars, and you're like,

[1:14:15] this movie also doesn't look as good as Star Wars.

[1:14:18] It's hard to watch a movie set in an alien world,

[1:14:21] and not have me be like, well,

[1:14:22] it took a long time to set up the rules of this world,

[1:14:24] where as Star Wars, right off the bat,

[1:14:25] I'm like, oh, that's a good guy, that's a bad guy,

[1:14:27] he's got magic powers, that's a bear man.

[1:14:29] Like it's, you know, it's all there.

[1:14:33] Like I'm constantly amazed by like,

[1:14:35] I think about this too often,

[1:14:38] where sometimes while I'm going to bed,

[1:14:39] it'll just pop into my head,

[1:14:40] where I'm like, that movie is like two hours long,

[1:14:42] when it starts, you know nothing about that world,

[1:14:44] and by the end of it, you are so invested,

[1:14:46] and you know everything, and there are very few scenes

[1:14:49] where someone sits down, as opposed to prequels,

[1:14:51] very few scenes where it's like,

[1:14:52] the council must explain what's going on here.

[1:14:56] There's a movie called Cheeky, that,

[1:14:59] it captures butts in a way that no movie before,

[1:15:04] since like, I wouldn't say it ruins butts for me

[1:15:08] in other movies, because scientifically,

[1:15:10] that's impossible to ruin a butt,

[1:15:13] but it's, you know, it's the pinnacle of butt achievement.

[1:15:21] How can I follow behind that?

[1:15:26] Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, air horn.

[1:15:29] I don't know, like I think John Carpenter's horror movies,

[1:15:32] the scores in those are so, they're so good at it,

[1:15:36] that like, almost no other horror movie score

[1:15:39] compares to me, and I feel like almost every horror movie,

[1:15:42] especially modern horror movies,

[1:15:43] are often trying to like,

[1:15:45] kind of rip off a John Carpenter score,

[1:15:47] but without giving him any money,

[1:15:49] which I'm sure he is not happy about.

[1:15:53] Yeah.

[1:15:54] All right, last question of the night.

[1:15:55] Last question.

[1:15:57] Lydia, last name withheld, I was wondering,

[1:16:01] you've seen so many movies on your podcast,

[1:16:04] and in your lives, have you ever seen a movie

[1:16:06] that you not only actively regret seeing,

[1:16:09] but you wish you had a neuralyzer,

[1:16:11] and could just wipe it out of your memory?

[1:16:16] I mean, I've gone on, this is not an imaginative answer,

[1:16:19] I've gone on the record with my feelings

[1:16:20] about nothing but trouble, which is like,

[1:16:22] it's like if I had a time machine,

[1:16:24] it's like, do I kill Hitler, do I save Lincoln,

[1:16:26] do I stop that movie from being made?

[1:16:28] Like, I don't know, because it caused so much trauma

[1:16:31] for me as a child, and again, this is not in any way

[1:16:34] to elevate myself to people who have suffered

[1:16:35] real trauma as a child, but like,

[1:16:37] just so much time I spent as a child

[1:16:38] thinking about that movie, and being like,

[1:16:40] why does that exist, like, what is the adult world like,

[1:16:43] and how do I avoid going into it?

[1:16:46] Like, when I had a twin sister, and she'd be like,

[1:16:48] I'm gonna be an adult now, I'm gonna go to parties

[1:16:49] where there's drinking, and I'm like,

[1:16:50] I can't do that, because what if I have to become

[1:16:52] part of the world that nothing but trouble was made by?

[1:16:56] Whereas now, I want to be in movies so badly,

[1:16:57] it's like, whatever, sign me up,

[1:16:58] nothing but trouble reboot, sure, okay.

[1:17:02] I think that typically, if a movie's gonna do that to me,

[1:17:07] I turn it off.

[1:17:09] I would, sort of to answer your question, though,

[1:17:11] like, I wish I could neuralize, like, some movies

[1:17:14] just to have the brain space back.

[1:17:17] Like, we were talking on a walk.

[1:17:19] That's how brains work, yeah.

[1:17:20] We were talking, like, I was with Stuart recently,

[1:17:22] we had done some ax throwing in Brooklyn,

[1:17:25] and we were walking to a bar, and there was some debate

[1:17:28] over who was in Mannequin 2 on the move,

[1:17:31] and I was able to correctly say that Christy Swanson

[1:17:34] played the new mannequin, and the male lead

[1:17:36] was the guy from Herman's Head, and I've seen

[1:17:40] Mannequin 2 on the move, is what I'm saying,

[1:17:42] and I probably shouldn't have.

[1:17:45] Just to clarify, we got there by arguing about

[1:17:49] which actors were in which Police Academy movies.

[1:17:55] Yeah, I mean, I would say, if the movie I want

[1:17:58] lasered away from existence is 40 Days and 40 Nights,

[1:18:03] starring Joshua Hartnett, the movie where he gives up

[1:18:07] premarital sex for Lent, and it's horrible,

[1:18:09] don't ever watch it.

[1:18:10] If you have the opportunity, call up Netflix,

[1:18:13] have them send you a copy, and throw it in the garbage.

[1:18:17] They don't, you don't want them to see the part

[1:18:20] where he triggers an orgasm by blowing rose petals

[1:18:23] across a woman's tummy?

[1:18:24] Yes, that, Elliot.

[1:18:25] Don't, why are you bringing it up?

[1:18:32] Okay, that's been a great show.

[1:18:35] That's the traditional way we end our shows,

[1:18:37] by depressing Stuart.

[1:18:38] Oh, we love to bring Stuart down.

[1:18:41] So, we are going to be first selling merch

[1:18:44] and talking to people, I'm not sure where,

[1:18:46] do you know where?

[1:18:47] Someplace in the building.

[1:18:49] I think across.

[1:18:50] It's like a room across the hall.

[1:18:50] Across the way, and then,

[1:18:53] hopefully, it's not a labyrinth,

[1:18:55] they're not gonna get lost, and they'll just find

[1:18:56] skeletons with signs that say merch, question mark?

[1:19:01] And then, after that, if you don't want merch,

[1:19:04] you do want merch.

[1:19:05] After we're done doing that,

[1:19:07] we will be trying to hang out a little bit

[1:19:09] in the generically named City Bar,

[1:19:12] a bar that could be in literally any city in the world.

[1:19:17] But, thank you so much to the University of Madison

[1:19:20] for having us, sorry, we went a little over time.

[1:19:22] Thank you, University of Wisconsin-Madison,

[1:19:24] thank you all of you for coming out on a very cold night.

[1:19:26] Thank you, everybody who worked on the show tonight

[1:19:28] to make it possible.

[1:19:29] Thank you very much, I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:19:33] That's Sir Wellington.

[1:19:34] I'm Elliot Kalin, we're The Flop House.

[1:19:37] Thank you very much for being here.

[1:19:45] This is The Flop House, I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:20:00] This is the Flophouse, he's Dan McCoy.

[1:20:03] No, that, no, no, that's not, that's not how it goes.

[1:20:07] And this is the Flophouse, that was Dan McCoy.

Ep. #298 - Venom LIVE

Transcript

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