FH Mini 133 - Cinematic Cities

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] Hello and welcome to another episode of The Flophouse Mini.

[0:09] That's what we call our alternate week episodes where we do something a little bit different than watching a bad movie and talking about it.

[0:14] And that's right. Today we're doing something a little different but related.

[0:17] This is an episode of your favorite movie podcast that's all about locations, The Map House.

[0:23] That's right. Welcome to The Map House.

[0:24] I'm your host, Elliot Kalin, and joining me are my regular special guests, Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington.

[0:30] They'll say hi in a minute, but first let's hit that theme song.

[0:36] Map House, in the middle of your ears, Map House.

[0:41] What you're listening to right here, Map House.

[0:44] Talking places in the films, Map House.

[0:48] Fire ceramics in a kiln, Map House.

[0:51] We love to talk movie locations, Map House.

[0:54] Films are the cheapest of vacations.

[0:56] Still going, huh?

[0:57] Map House.

[0:58] Well, I could go longer.

[0:59] Map House says to the cast that we do the things with the stuff and I couldn't think of lyrics for the part in the song where he talks really fast.

[1:06] Map House is brought to you, of course, by Hodor's Travel Guide, the only travel guide endorsed by the simple-minded stable boys of Winterfell and Randy McNasty, America's most trusted name in maps for perverts.

[1:17] Now, Dan, Stuart, thanks so much for joining us today on Map House.

[1:20] How are you feeling today and where are you coming from?

Dan McCoy

[1:22] I feel great now that I heard those two jokes about travel guides.

[1:30] I'm coming from my home, Brooklyn.

[1:32] Yeah, since this is the Map House.

[1:34] What's the address here, Dan?

Elliott Kalan

[1:36] It's 123 Fake Street.

[1:38] Anytime, USA.

[1:39] Anytime, Brooklyn, USA.

[1:41] So, Map House is, of course, like I said, the movie podcast about locations.

[1:46] And today's episode of the Map House is going to be all about cities as characters in movies.

[1:52] Now, I feel like the last couple of movies that got on the Flophouse were really specific about their locations.

[1:58] We watched Pool Man in which Los Angeles felt like a character in the story.

[2:03] Yeah.

[2:03] And we watched Captain America, Brave New World in which Washington, D.C. actually had more personality than any of the human characters in the movie.

[2:10] Yeah.

[2:10] And so, today, I wanted to talk about cities that feel like characters.

[2:15] And there's a bunch of famous cities in there are a lot of movies.

[2:17] And I bet if I named them, you guys could tell me what kinds of characters they've been in the movies or how you think of them as a character in a story.

[2:25] You guys want to start off doing that, a little brain exercise?

Dan McCoy

[2:27] Sure.

[2:28] Sure, yeah.

[2:28] I think I understand.

Elliott Kalan

[2:29] Okay, sure.

[2:30] So, like, for instance, New York.

[2:31] What kind of character is New York in the movies?

Dan McCoy

[2:33] You know, brash, old.

[2:36] It's where you go to succeed.

[2:39] You know, it represents glamour and glitz and an urban life.

Stuart Wellington

[2:45] And an endless labyrinth of late-night delights and terrors.

Elliott Kalan

[2:49] Oh, very well put.

[2:50] Very well put.

[2:50] Now, perhaps you might say similar things, but I don't know.

[2:52] What about Paris?

[2:53] What kind of character is Paris in the movies?

Dan McCoy

[2:56] You know, it's the city of lights.

[2:58] It's the city of romance.

[2:59] It represents.

[3:01] It's a little exotic.

[3:02] Yeah, sophistication.

Elliott Kalan

[3:06] Someone call it a labyrinth of late-night delights.

[3:09] Yeah, sure.

[3:10] I can call it that as well.

[3:11] Sometimes the scent is full of sharks.

[3:13] But Paris, yeah, it's mostly a romantic place.

[3:16] You can already hear the accordion music and the crunching on long bread, right?

[3:20] What about London, though?

[3:22] When London's a character in the movies, what is London like?

Dan McCoy

[3:24] It's foggy.

[3:24] It's rainy.

[3:26] Jack the Ripper's probably going around doing some.

[3:29] Something nasty.

Elliott Kalan

[3:31] Not something good.

[3:32] He's not giving candy to children and helping elderly people across the street.

[3:35] That's for sure.

Dan McCoy

[3:38] That's true.

[3:38] I mean, modern London is a little harder to classify, I think.

[3:44] But...

Elliott Kalan

[3:44] You're saying that wasn't...

[3:45] A lot of high street shops.

[3:46] That wasn't an up-to-date London idea, the Jack the Ripper one?

Dan McCoy

[3:48] No, that was a bit of more of a Victorian vision of London.

Elliott Kalan

[3:52] Okay.

[3:53] And what about Miami?

[3:53] What's Miami like when it's a character in the movies?

[3:56] Fast cars.

Dan McCoy

[3:57] Yeah.

[3:57] Full of drug dealers.

Stuart Wellington

[3:59] Butts wearing swimsuits.

[4:02] Clubs.

[4:02] Butts going to clubs.

Elliott Kalan

[4:04] What else are the butts doing in Miami these days?

[4:06] Are they sitting in cars going to clubs?

[4:08] What else are they doing?

Dan McCoy

[4:09] Yeah, they're in cars with comedians getting coffee.

[4:12] Interesting.

Elliott Kalan

[4:13] That's what you think of as Miami.

Dan McCoy

[4:14] Okay, interesting.

[4:15] I don't know.

[4:16] It's just a thing.

Elliott Kalan

[4:17] And so, what about Tokyo?

[4:19] When you think of Tokyo as a character in movies?

[4:22] Drift.

Dan McCoy

[4:22] That's just word association.

[4:27] Overwhelming.

[4:29] Kind of high tech, right?

[4:31] Yeah.

[4:32] Crowds.

[4:34] Umbrella.

[4:34] Danger from Yakuza.

Elliott Kalan

[4:36] And every now and then a giant monster.

[4:38] Yeah, sure.

[4:39] Neon lights.

[4:40] Neon lights, yeah.

[4:41] And finally, Rio de Janeiro.

[4:43] You shouldn't have used up butts for Miami.

[4:45] More butts.

Dan McCoy

[4:45] Extra butts.

[4:47] Bigger butts.

[4:49] Carnival filled with butts.

Stuart Wellington

[4:51] Talking birds.

[4:53] And what's the butt situation with those talking birds?

Elliott Kalan

[4:56] They're interested but confused.

[5:00] Okay.

[5:01] So, those are big cities.

[5:02] Those are some of the biggest cities in the world.

[5:04] And there are a lot of movies set there.

[5:05] And it's a very clear idea.

[5:06] Each one of those, you guys had a very clear idea of what the character of that city is like.

[5:11] But I was thinking, there's a lot of smaller cities that don't get as much attention from the movies.

[5:17] There are dozens, maybe hundreds, maybe thousands of movies about New York and Los Angeles.

[5:21] There's only one movie about Columbus, Indiana.

[5:23] It's called Columbus.

[5:24] I highly recommend it.

[5:25] It's a very good movie.

[5:26] But it doesn't give us a great idea of what the gestalt character of Columbus is.

[5:31] I mean, we know it has a lot of architectural landmarks because that's part of what the movie is about.

[5:35] But we don't have as much of a sense of it from the movies.

[5:37] And I started thinking, there's so many small cities that don't get movie attention.

[5:42] But if they did, what would – and some of the movies have been shot in, what's the character that they should have?

[5:48] So, I took a look at the U.S. News and World Report list of the 250 best places to live in the United States.

[5:53] And I thought, let's take a look at them and use our movie brains to figure out what kind of character these cities would be in a movie to give Hollywood a head start.

[6:01] Now, we're going to go through all 250, so I hope you guys are ready.

[6:04] No, I'm just kidding.

[6:05] We'll go through about nine of them.

[6:07] But I thought, let's start with the number one city on the list.

[6:10] Are you guys ready to use your movie imaginations, your knowledge of movies, and your creativity to figure out what is the character of this city?

[6:17] And I'll give you some – I can give you some facts about this city.

[6:19] But I mostly want us to just say, what's the feel?

[6:22] What does this feel like?

[6:22] Okay?

[6:23] Yeah.

[6:23] So, number one on the list, of course, is Johns Creek, Georgia, population 78,937.

[6:29] According to U.S. Mews and World Report, this is the best place to live in the United States.

[6:34] Some things I can tell you about it.

[6:35] It has a humid subtropical climate.

[6:37] It has the metro Atlanta area's only fully professional symphony orchestra, the Johns Creek Symphony Orchestra.

[6:42] There's the annual food festival, the Taste of Johns Creek.

[6:45] There's six golf courses.

[6:47] Jesus.

[6:47] According to Wikipedia – this is a quote from Wikipedia – it is one of the most culturally diverse cities in the state and nation, representing many countries and cultures from around the world.

[6:56] So, Johns Creek, Georgia, population less than 80,000, one of the most culturally diverse cities in America and perhaps the world.

[7:03] They've had a fire department since 2008.

[7:06] Wow.

[7:06] And there are movies that have been shot there that include Parental Guidance, starring Billy Crystal, and Strip Club Massacre, I assume not starring Billy Crystal.

[7:14] So, guys –

Dan McCoy

[7:16] I'm glad you hedged your bets on that.

Elliott Kalan

[7:18] I haven't seen it, so I don't know for sure, but I'm going to guess.

[7:21] Sorry.

Stuart Wellington

[7:21] I'm just adding that one to my watch list on Letterboxd.

[7:24] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[7:24] So, Johns Creek, Georgia, what kind of character would this city be in a movie?

Stuart Wellington

[7:31] I would say it feels like it would be like a gentrified, like up-and-coming suburbs with, you know, a modest but bustling downtown area.

Elliott Kalan

[7:46] Okay, so how does that represent – in a movie, what kind of story would you tell?

[7:49] Yeah.

[7:49] How would the city play into that story, you know?

Dan McCoy

[7:52] Maybe there's like – see, originally you said humid.

Elliott Kalan

[7:56] Yeah, humid, subtropical climate, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:58] My mind went to like –

[7:59] A raw thriller immediately.

[8:00] Some sort of like, oh, yeah, like a – well, yeah, maybe a noir, a sweaty noir.

[8:05] I was thinking like a southern gothic, which could have like an overlap.

[8:09] But then everything you said made it sound very cosmopolitan.

[8:12] So, maybe –

[8:13] Yeah, they have a huge food festival.

Elliott Kalan

[8:14] It's one of the most diverse cities in America, according to Wikipedia, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[8:18] Maybe the way to do it is to have one of those – the seedy underbelly sorts of things.

[8:24] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[8:25] It wasn't shot there, but I keep imagining – what was that movie with Ben Affleck where he was breeding snails and he killed Tracy Letts?

[8:32] Deepwater.

[8:33] Deepwater, was that it?

[8:34] Yeah, yeah.

[8:35] Is it that kind of thing?

[8:35] Sexy snails.

[8:36] Sexy snails.

[8:37] Sexy snails, yeah.

[8:39] The – so, okay.

[8:40] So, John's Creek, you're imagining, is kind of like – it's almost like a Blue Velvet type place where there's like a seedy criminal underbelly underneath.

[8:47] Maybe it's involved with the taste of John's Creek annual food festival.

[8:51] But, okay.

[8:52] Yeah, they're –

Stuart Wellington

[8:53] Either that or like you have two rivals at the food festival that are like a mix of like a keeping up with the Joneses,

[9:01] but also like an element of trying to defeat their rival at the food festival.

[9:05] Right.

Dan McCoy

[9:05] Or it could be, you know, like a little illy situation.

[9:09] Yeah.

[9:09] It's a romance set against the backdrop of the food festival.

Elliott Kalan

[9:14] I forgot about that movie that we did on the podcast about the competing Canadian pizza places, right?

[9:19] Yep.

[9:20] So, okay.

[9:21] So, John's Creek, Georgia, you can go – Hollywood, you can go one of two ways with it.

[9:24] It's either like an up-and-coming gentrifying suburb that has a seedy criminal underbelly or it's a place where love can come even between the children of competing food merchants at the food festival.

[9:37] Let's slip a little bit farther down the list for our next city.

[9:40] You guys did a great job.

[9:41] Let's go to number four on the list.

[9:42] This is Fishers, Indiana, population 103,711.

[9:46] Now, Stuart, you're an Indiana boy.

[9:47] Are you familiar with this town?

[9:48] I'm a Hoosier.

Stuart Wellington

[9:48] No, where is this?

[9:49] Is this an Indianapolis suburb?

Elliott Kalan

[9:51] It is a suburb of Indianapolis.

[9:53] It has a humid continental climate.

[9:55] This is a humid but continental climate.

[9:56] Oh, continental.

[9:57] It's a suburb of Indianapolis.

Stuart Wellington

[9:59] Is this on the north side or south side?

[10:01] Where is this?

Elliott Kalan

[10:02] It was a town until 2015 when it officially transitioned to be a city.

[10:08] Previously, in 1998, voters had defeated a referendum to become a city.

[10:12] So, there's a little bit of a controversial history about whether it's a town or city.

[10:16] What's the name of this joint?

[10:17] It's called Fishers, Indiana.

[10:19] Homeownership rate, 81.9%.

[10:21] And you may know this already, Stuart.

[10:22] It's home of the Indy Fuel minor league hockey team and the Hoosier State Instigators basketball team.

Stuart Wellington

[10:29] So, guys.

[10:30] Yeah, so this is on the north side of Indianapolis.

[10:34] It's just east of Carmel, which is another very affluent suburb.

[10:41] I think you mean Caramel.

[10:44] Nope.

[10:45] They removed the A.

[10:46] Oh, okay.

[10:47] Don't need it.

[10:48] Strange.

[10:48] You think they could afford it if it's affluent?

[10:49] Also, if I were driving from Indianapolis, aka Nap Town, to my hometown, Fort Wayne, Indiana, I would drive through Fishers.

[10:58] Wow.

[10:59] Interstate 69.

[11:00] So, this is, I feel like a real connection.

[11:02] So, we've heard of flyover country.

[11:03] Thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[11:03] This is drive-through city.

[11:05] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[11:06] So, you've ever taken that?

[11:07] You think you've driven through Fishers?

[11:08] I'm sure I've driven through it.

[11:10] No question.

Elliott Kalan

[11:11] So, let's use that personal experience, this authentic personal experience.

[11:15] Fishers, Indiana, what kind of character is it in a movie?

Stuart Wellington

[11:18] Hmm.

[11:20] Seems boring.

Dan McCoy

[11:21] Yeah.

[11:23] I'm not a Hoosier, but I'm from one state over, Illinois.

[11:29] Small town living in Illinois.

[11:32] Again, this is not a small town.

Elliott Kalan

[11:33] There's 103,000 people living in the city.

[11:35] No, this is a suburb.

[11:35] This is a suburb of a…

[11:36] It's a city that is a suburb of a bigger city.

[11:38] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[11:38] I'm guessing there are multiple very good malls.

[11:42] Cheesecake Factory, probably a couple of them.

Elliott Kalan

[11:43] We'll be hearing about a city later that has a couple of malls, but this, I don't know for sure.

[11:47] Well, you know what?

[11:47] Let me bring up some more information about Fishers.

Dan McCoy

[11:49] There's a lot of time, though, in the bustling Midwestern metropolis of Peoria, Illinois.

[11:54] I was going to say that the immediate thing that this suggests to me is like a suburbia style, like bored, disaffected youth hanging out in parking lots sort of thing, which was a lot of my youth.

[12:09] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[12:10] All right.

[12:10] I think that's true.

[12:11] I think, and, you know, a little bit of the haves and the have-nots, the, you know, the rich kids and…

Elliott Kalan

[12:17] The townies versus the rich kids.

[12:19] Does it help to tell you that the highest employer in the area in 2020, top employer was Hamilton Southeastern Schools?

[12:29] I guess the school district is the big employer.

[12:31] Number 10, U.S. Foods employees in 2020 employed 320 people.

[12:36] There's also the Geist Reservoir where you can fish and water ski.

[12:40] So is that where like the teams…

[12:41] You can water ski?

[12:42] Apparently.

[12:43] I mean, if the boat's fast enough, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[12:45] If I don't know how to water ski, will I learn just by doing it there?

[12:50] Unfortunately, no, I don't think so.

Elliott Kalan

[12:52] But unless maybe that's, maybe it's a children's movie about a magical water skiing lake.

[12:58] I don't think you've seen Cocoon.

Stuart Wellington

[13:00] Cocoon's where Wilford Brimley learns to fucking water ski from alien pods, right?

Elliott Kalan

[13:05] The alien pods are pulling him along the water, yeah.

[13:07] He's got two on his feet as the skis.

[13:10] He's like, you wouldn't believe how young I actually am in this movie.

[13:13] I'm younger than Tom Cruise is in the Mission Impossible movies, some of them.

[13:18] So, fish is in the industry.

Stuart Wellington

[13:20] He did his own stunts too.

[13:21] That's crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[13:21] So we're saying it's kind of a boring place that teens want to escape in the movie.

[13:25] But there might also be an alien lake.

[13:27] How old was Don Amici?

Dan McCoy

[13:28] Don Amici was significantly older than Wilford Brimley.

[13:31] He was very old.

Elliott Kalan

[13:32] I mean, he had been a movie star in the 40s.

[13:34] Yeah.

[13:35] So, let's see.

[13:36] Don Amici, how old was he made at Cocoon?

[13:38] So, Don...

[13:40] And his first name's Don, or is that a title?

[13:43] You're right.

[13:44] It's possible that that was his mafia name, yeah, or just as a Spanish landowner.

[13:49] No, his name is Dominic Felix Amici.

[13:51] So, he was born in 1908.

[13:53] So, we need to Cocoon.

[13:54] He was only 77, you know.

[13:57] And how old was Wilford Brimley?

[13:58] Wilford Brimley at the time in 1985.

[14:01] Let's see.

[14:01] Wilford Brimley was 51 years old.

Stuart Wellington

[14:05] Guys, I hate to say it, but that's a pretty problematic age gap, right?

Elliott Kalan

[14:08] Yeah.

[14:09] I mean, but in a love scene, you wouldn't worry about it.

[14:12] I mean, that's the thing.

[14:12] That was when Wilford Brimley was like, he was getting a lot of controversy for appearing

[14:16] with men as the love interest who were much older than him.

[14:20] Yeah.

[14:20] Because Wilford Brimley had a...

[14:21] You know, he had a thing for older men.

[14:23] That's fine.

[14:24] Don Amici, of course, a lot of great movies.

[14:28] Anyway, we should do a Don Amici mini sometime.

[14:29] He was in a lot of great stuff.

[14:31] Yeah, that's true.

[14:32] Anyway, so Fishers, Indiana, I think we've covered that pretty well.

[14:34] We know that it has to do with cocoon and water skiing somehow.

[14:37] Named after Fisher Stevens.

[14:39] Yeah.

[14:40] Well, it's Fishers.

[14:41] It doesn't have an apostrophe in the name, but I have to assume that it was originally

[14:44] Fishers, Indiana, like the Indiana that belonged to Fisher Stevens.

[14:47] Yeah.

[14:48] We'll do two more before we take a quick break.

[14:51] Let's go to...

[14:52] Oh, now we're going down North Carolina way to number five on the list.

[14:55] This is Cary, North Carolina, population 174,961.

[14:59] Just shy of 175,000.

[15:01] You'll get there, Cary.

[15:02] If you want to hear some about it, it's got a humid subtropical climate.

[15:05] It's home to the world's largest...

[15:07] Some of those fucking humid places.

[15:10] Who likes humidity?

[15:11] Some more humid stuff's coming up.

[15:13] It's home to the world's largest privately held software company.

[15:16] In 2021, it was named the safest mid-sized place to live in the United States.

[15:21] And the Cary drainage base, it includes three creeks, the Crabtree, the Swift, and the Walnut.

[15:27] There's a Kellogg's factory there.

[15:29] It also...

[15:29] There's a non-profit that promotes the use of cotton in the area.

[15:32] And it also has the Sri Venkateswari Temple, which serves the Hindus of the Research Triangle

[15:38] section of North Carolina.

[15:39] It's home to the North Carolina Courage women's soccer team.

[15:42] And they have shot a number of movies there, including parts of Iron Man 3 and also a movie

[15:46] called Top Spin about people competing to be on the Olympic ping pong team.

[15:51] So, guys, Cary, North Carolina, what kind of movie character is it from what we've heard?

Stuart Wellington

[15:56] Well, as soon as you say it's like voted the safest place, it makes me think of like Rebel

[16:00] Ridge or something where the local police department's skewing the numbers.

[16:07] Okay, so this is...

[16:08] Or like a...

[16:09] Or like a...

[16:10] Or like a...

[16:10] What?

[16:11] The World's End or whatever where aliens have come in and they're taking over?

Elliott Kalan

[16:16] Yeah, I mean, I could see aliens coming in to take over that software company or perhaps

[16:20] the locus of the cotton lobbying that Cary, North Carolina is.

[16:24] Dan, what do you think?

[16:25] Is that what comes to your mind?

[16:26] Either corrupt cops or aliens?

[16:27] Or is there anything else that feels more Cary specific?

Stuart Wellington

[16:30] Man, was Alien Nation aliens and corrupt cops?

[16:34] I don't think they were corrupt cops.

[16:36] But they're drinking rotten milk.

[16:39] Is that what's drunk cops do?

[16:40] These cops are as rotten as the milk they drink to get drunk because they're aliens.

[16:44] And it's spoiled milk.

[16:45] I know.

[16:45] Oh, spoiled milk.

[16:46] Don't write in and complain.

[16:47] Yeah.

[16:49] You know, I...

Elliott Kalan

[16:50] You know who has a hard time on the alienation planet?

[16:52] Barbers.

[16:55] Dan, you were saying?

Dan McCoy

[16:57] No, I was just going to say that I totally zoned out on the description of this city because

[17:02] I was...

[17:03] All right.

[17:04] My brain was going to medical anxiety as it often does in spare moments.

Elliott Kalan

[17:09] Are you doing okay, Dan?

[17:10] Do we need to set what this money should be about?

[17:12] Yeah.

[17:12] Okay.

[17:13] So, humid subtropical climate.

Stuart Wellington

[17:15] Yeah.

[17:16] This is Fishers, Indiana.

[17:19] No, no.

Elliott Kalan

[17:19] We're doing Cary, North Carolina at this point.

[17:21] Okay.

[17:21] Cary, North Carolina.

Stuart Wellington

[17:23] Named after Harry Cary.

[17:24] Named after Harry...

[17:25] Or Cary Mulligan.

[17:26] Yeah, both.

[17:26] It was named after both.

[17:27] And Jim Cary.

[17:28] Yeah.

[17:28] He didn't even hit the most famous Cary.

Elliott Kalan

[17:32] Cary Fisher.

[17:33] Who's the most famous?

[17:34] Yeah.

[17:34] Grant, I would say.

[17:35] Grant, right?

[17:35] Cary...

[17:36] That is spelled like Cary Grant's name.

[17:37] So, maybe Cary Grant's in the movie or the...

[17:40] Cary Russell.

[17:41] There's no Cary Russell.

[17:42] Different spelled differently.

[17:43] It's spelled and pronounced differently.

[17:46] Anyway.

[17:47] So, Cary, North Carolina.

[17:48] I feel like this is a wash.

[17:49] We have...

[17:49] Okay.

[17:50] Sorry.

[17:50] I feel like we didn't get it.

[17:51] We didn't get this one.

[17:53] Let's move on to...

[17:53] If only North Carolina could get another bite of this apple.

[17:56] Oh, and it does.

[17:57] Because number seven on the list is Apex, North Carolina.

[18:00] Population...

Stuart Wellington

[18:01] That name is too cool.

Elliott Kalan

[18:02] Yeah.

[18:02] Too cool.

[18:03] It's population 65,091.

[18:05] What's its climate like?

[18:06] You guessed it.

[18:06] Humid.

[18:07] It's located pretty close to Cary, North Carolina.

[18:10] So, maybe let's double for both.

[18:11] Apex's city motto is the peak of good living.

[18:15] It's got a historic train depot from the 19th century.

[18:18] I like that.

[18:18] In 2015, it was named the number one place to live by Money Magazine.

[18:22] I guess they didn't care that in 2006, there was a chemical explosion at a waste processing

[18:27] facility that caused 16,000 people to evacuate.

[18:29] Luckily, no one was seriously hurt.

[18:31] Guess what?

[18:31] There's some famous residents of Apex, North Carolina.

[18:35] Do you want to hear about some of them?

[18:36] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[18:37] Notable residents include Susan Higginbotham, the historical fiction author.

[18:41] There's also Justin Jedica, known as the human Ken doll for the numerous plastic surgeries

[18:46] that he's had in his life.

[18:47] The lack of penis?

[18:49] I have to assume.

[18:50] Let's check it out.

[18:51] And of course, Jason Alexander, the race car driver, not from Seinfeld.

[18:55] He spells it differently.

[18:56] Jason Alexander from Seinfeld is, of course, from New Jersey.

Stuart Wellington

[18:59] Are they twin brothers?

[19:00] No, they're not twin brothers.

Elliott Kalan

[19:02] So, Apex, North Carolina.

[19:04] From what you know, what kind of movie is Apex, North Carolina the character in?

[19:08] What does it feel like in this?

[19:09] What kind of character is this city in this movie?

Stuart Wellington

[19:12] It's all based on the waste plant explosion.

[19:15] Like, you got to have a taxi or something.

[19:17] No.

[19:18] Oh, that's the direction you're going with it.

Dan McCoy

[19:19] I was like, oh, is this going to be like, you know, a China syndrome or like an Aaron Brockovich,

[19:25] like a kind of a, you know, drama about, you know, a company doing wrong and people uncovering it.

Elliott Kalan

[19:33] And what's the city like?

[19:34] What makes it Apex that this is happening in?

[19:36] You know, what's the, how does the city, how is it personified, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[19:41] That everybody's, everybody's super competitive, that they're all perfect versions of human beings.

[19:48] Yeah, the Apex.

Elliott Kalan

[19:50] Okay.

[19:50] So, only the best, only the best, most perfect people can live there.

[19:54] And so, when the chemical explosion happens, it's like, oh no, our best people are threatened by this.

[19:58] The city that has such high standards, suddenly what happens when it falls below those standards?

Dan McCoy

[20:03] Yeah, maybe that's what's the insidious thing that's going on is that there's some sort of engineering out of like the lower persons

[20:12] and that leads to this insidious company, you know, something goes wrong with them.

Stuart Wellington

[20:18] Then like a taxi has to show up and beat up all these beautiful people.

Elliott Kalan

[20:22] Oh, wow.

[20:22] Okay.

[20:22] So, it's the, it's the, the ugliest among us is fighting the most beautiful among us.

[20:26] Which one's the hero?

Stuart Wellington

[20:27] Toxie is, right?

[20:28] Yeah.

[20:28] Of course he is.

Elliott Kalan

[20:29] So, do you guys have any other ideas based on that for Carrie, North Carolina?

[20:32] We didn't really come up with much for Carrie.

Dan McCoy

[20:35] I mean, are you trying to put a slate together, Elliot, of films?

[20:39] You know, there's a, I think that.

Elliott Kalan

[20:40] The North Carolina Film Board has hired me to really get some movies going in the, in the research triangle area of, oh no, that's, that's, yeah, the research triangle area of North Carolina.

Stuart Wellington

[20:50] So, I got a pitch for you.

[20:52] Okay.

[20:52] It's a slice of life comedy starring Carrie Elwes, Carrie Mulligan, Carrie Russell, and Jim Carrey.

[21:00] Okay.

[21:00] And they are all hanging out in Carrie, North Carolina.

[21:03] And what's it called?

[21:05] Carrie.

[21:06] Carrie On.

[21:07] It's called Carrie On.

[21:09] Carrie North Carolina.

[21:09] Carrie On 2, where, the sequel to the airport movie.

[21:14] Oh, you're going it that way.

Dan McCoy

[21:15] I was saying it was one of the British, the famous British.

Elliott Kalan

[21:17] The old British Carrie On comedies, those ones.

Dan McCoy

[21:20] It's Carrie On Carrie.

Elliott Kalan

[21:22] Well, maybe it's a mix of both.

[21:23] It's a comedy version of Carrie On, the thriller set in Carrie, North Carolina with all these carries in it.

[21:27] Oh, Carrion.

Dan McCoy

[21:28] Maybe there's some Carrion involved.

Elliott Kalan

[21:30] Yeah, probably.

[21:30] Oh, wow.

[21:31] Or the Spider-Man villain Carrion.

[21:33] Well, guys, I think we figured it out for those, for those cities.

[21:35] Let's take a short break.

[21:37] I'll let your brains have a rest while I say a word about our sponsor today.

[21:40] Unless, Dan, do you want to do the sponsor spot today?

[21:43] No, no, please.

[21:44] I saw you get your phone, and I thought you were getting it to be the sponsor, but you're just checking your emails or whatever.

Dan McCoy

[21:47] No, I'm getting – excuse me.

[21:49] I'm getting it to promote Flop TV Season 3 later on.

Elliott Kalan

[21:52] Okay, that sounds good.

[21:53] That sounds good.

[21:53] All right.

[21:54] So let's talk about our sponsor today.

[21:56] Today's episode is sponsored by Factor.

[21:58] Look, guys, summer's here.

[22:00] It's summertime.

[22:01] My oldest son is at sleepaway camp.

[22:03] My younger son is at day camp.

[22:06] It's time for me to have the time to do the things I want to do that I can't do when my kids are around making me do stuff.

[22:12] And the number one thing that is taking up the time with those kids, cooking.

[22:17] Cooking their meals.

[22:19] These kids are hungry all the time.

[22:20] They're constantly eating.

[22:21] Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

[22:22] And I got to cook those meals for them.

[22:24] It is exhausting.

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[23:18] And like I said, Factor is very popular in our house.

[23:21] Whenever we get Factor food, which is frequently, my kids enjoy it, which is not something I can say for a lot of pre-made meals because they're very picky.

[23:28] And my wife really loves them.

[23:30] And I often don't get to eat the Factor meals I want because my wife has already taken them to work with her for her lunches.

[23:36] It's the summer.

[23:37] She's not working.

[23:38] She works at a school.

[23:39] The summer, it's out.

[23:40] So I'm finally getting some of these Factor meals.

[23:42] And it's great.

[23:43] I have to work through the summer.

[23:44] And I often don't have a lot of time to make my own meals for lunch.

[23:47] So it's great to have something I can just pop in, heat up, eat it.

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[23:52] We're big fans of it in our house.

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Dan McCoy

[24:26] Chop 50 off with flop50 off.

Elliott Kalan

[24:28] Dan, what a great slogan.

[24:30] That's what we should be saying.

[24:31] Yeah, chop 50 off with flop50 off.

[24:33] That's code flop50off at factormeals.com slash flop50off for 50% off plus free shipping.

[24:40] That's what we should be saying.

[24:41] factormeals.com slash flop50off with code flop50off for Factor meals.

Stuart Wellington

[24:49] flop50 off.

[24:51] You got it right, Stuart.

Dan McCoy

[24:54] Good work.

[24:55] You did it.

[24:57] Hey, I want to say a few words about Flop TV Season 3, which is a thing that's going to be coming up.

[25:04] It's going to be happening every first Saturday of the month from September through February.

[25:11] That's six episodes in our usual time slot of 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 Pacific.

[25:19] And if I have my release schedule right, this should be releasing this mini on July 26,

[25:25] which is when we're going to be putting the tickets on sale.

[25:30] Tickets will be live to buy.

[25:33] On July 26.

[25:35] Yeah.

[25:36] You go to flop house.

[25:37] You go to, sorry, theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[25:40] That's Ticks, T-I-X.

[25:42] And you can get tickets there either $7 for an individual show if there's just one.

[25:48] If you just, if you're just, if there's just one special movie that you like.

Elliott Kalan

[25:51] Yeah, you just want to dip your toes in the water of Flop TV.

Dan McCoy

[25:54] Or if you want to watch the whole season, you can get a season pass.

[25:57] And I don't know why you wouldn't.

[25:58] Come on.

[25:58] For $35, that's a, that's a discount.

[26:02] That's like one episode free, basically.

Elliott Kalan

[26:05] If you buy the season pass, it's like you're stealing one episode of Flop TV from us.

[26:08] And you're going to feel so good about that.

[26:10] Like you got one over on the Flop Boys.

Dan McCoy

[26:12] Yeah.

[26:12] Because you hate us.

Stuart Wellington

[26:13] Take them down a peg.

[26:15] We think we're so cool.

[26:16] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[26:17] We're doing the theme this year is Flopster Piece Theater.

[26:21] We're going back in time decade by decade, picking one, I wouldn't say representative flop necessarily, although some of them are kind of representative of the times that they were made in.

[26:33] Just like one significant flop of that decade.

[26:37] It's going to be The Adventures of Pluto Nash for the 2000s.

[26:42] Jack Frost with Michael Keaton for the 90s.

[26:46] For the 80s, Xanadu.

[26:48] The 70s, Zardoz.

[26:50] The 60s, Dr. Doolittle.

[26:52] The musical with Rex Harrison that sort of destroyed the big Hollywood musical for a while.

[26:59] And for the 50s, a biggie, Plan 9 from Outer Space, directed by Ed Wood.

[27:03] Yes, the same Ed Wood of the film of the same name.

[27:07] I mean, he wasn't actually in it, but it was about him.

[27:09] It's about him, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[27:09] And I just re-watched it recently.

[27:11] It's a great movie.

Dan McCoy

[27:12] Yeah.

[27:12] So again, that's a-

[27:13] Plan 9 is a terrible movie.

[27:15] Again, that's theflophouse.sepledicks.com if you want to join us this season for Flop TV Season 3.

S4

[27:27] Hey, I'm Alan McLeod, the host of Walking About, and I'm here with Adam.

[27:32] Hello.

[27:33] You know, as a member of the month, you're the member of the month,

[27:37] you'll be getting a $25 gift card to the Maximum Fun store.

S5

[27:42] Holy moly.

[27:43] Oh, yeah.

S4

[27:44] I can't wait.

[27:45] Thank you so much for supporting this show and the network.

S5

[27:49] Happy to do it.

S4

[27:50] What made you decide to become a member?

S5

[27:52] I just said, you know, these people give me so much entertainment and joy and fun.

[27:57] in my life, I got to support them somehow.

[28:00] The outpouring of love and support that these folks, I mean,

[28:04] they made me Maximum Fun member of the month, for crying out loud.

[28:08] If you want this stuff to keep going, then support it.

S4

[28:12] Well, so nice to meet you, Adam.

[28:14] Thank you very much, everybody.

S5

[28:16] Keep up the good work.

[28:17] I mean it.

[28:17] I'm not just blowing smoke.

[28:18] Become a MaxFun member now at MaximumFun.org.

[28:22] Join.

S6

[28:25] Good evening.

[28:27] Thanks for tuning in to 101.1 MaxFun.

[28:30] It's midnight here on Host to Coast, and we've got Sarah from Michigan on line one.

S7

[28:35] Hi.

[28:36] I'm calling in for some help.

[28:37] I used to love reading, but between grad school, having kids, and the general state of

[28:41] the world, I can't seem to pick up a book and stick with it anymore.

S6

[28:44] Sarah, this is an easy one.

[28:46] Just listen to Reading Glasses, a podcast designed to help you read better.

[28:50] Bria and Mallory will get all the pressure, shame, and guilt out of your reading life.

[28:54] You'll be finishing books you love in no time.

S7

[28:56] Great.

[28:57] That sounds amazing.

[28:57] Also, I do think my husband is cheating on me with Mothman.

[29:00] Can you help me with that one?

S6

[29:01] Ooh, I don't think they cover that.

[29:02] Reading Glasses, every Thursday on Maximum Fun.

Elliott Kalan

[29:07] Right now, we're coming back to this episode of The Map House.

[29:11] We've just got a couple more cities that we're going to look at real quick to see what we can

[29:14] do for them.

[29:15] So let's go to number 10 on that list of best places to live in the United States, and this

[29:18] is Troy, Michigan, population 87,452.

[29:23] Guys, let me tell you a little bit about Troy, Michigan that might help.

[29:26] It's the 13th largest municipality in Michigan.

[29:28] It's home to both the Somerset Collection Mall and the Oakland Mall.

[29:32] Two malls?

[29:32] Yeah, as well as Troy Historic Village, a historic village.

[29:36] It used to have a newspaper called the Troy Eccentric, but I don't think it's published anymore.

[29:40] You know who went to high school there?

[29:42] Sutton Foster and Stephen Ewan.

[29:44] Oh, wow.

[29:44] Some big stars went to high school there.

[29:46] And movies shot in Troy include It Follows.

[29:49] Wow.

[29:50] You don't know Jack, starring Al Pacino as Jack Kevorkian, because as I've said before,

[29:53] the biggest shame you can have in America is to be portrayed by Al Pacino in a movie,

[29:59] whereas the greatest honor is to be portrayed by Tom Hanks in a movie.

[30:01] And also Whip It, the roller derby movie.

[30:04] And part of Dinner with Leatherface, a documentary about Gunnar Hansen, was shot in Troy, Michigan.

[30:08] Wow.

[30:09] So guys, Troy, Michigan.

[30:10] Damn.

[30:10] It's already in the movies.

[30:11] Little Hollywood, they call it.

[30:12] Yeah, they call it the Hollywood of Michigan.

[30:14] So guys, what is the character of Troy, Michigan, and what movie would really make the most of Troy, Michigan?

[30:19] Movies have been set there, shot there, but what's the movie that really presents the character of Troy, Michigan?

Stuart Wellington

[30:25] Now, would Troy, Michigan be described as urban, suburban, or rural?

Elliott Kalan

[30:33] Almost 88,000 people live there.

[30:35] I'm guessing it's more suburban than anything else.

Dan McCoy

[30:37] Oh, okay.

[30:38] You're like urban, suburban, or ultra urban?

Stuart Wellington

[30:44] Yeah, yeah, it's a fucking Shadowrun Arcology.

Elliott Kalan

[30:47] Yeah, yeah, it's all mega blocks.

[30:49] It's mega city one, yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[30:51] Maybe I'm just being influenced by the wide variety of films shot there,

[30:56] but there's something about it that's saying quirky and eclectic to me.

[31:01] Okay.

[31:02] Get it into sort of a northern exposure, Sicily, Alaska-style town where something weird's always happening.

Stuart Wellington

[31:10] And I was thinking a classic suburban slasher movie.

Elliott Kalan

[31:14] I think you could do a little bit of both.

[31:15] I don't think I've seen a slasher in a city like that where it's kind of a weird, quirky city.

[31:19] I mean, with a newspaper called The Eccentric, I feel like that brings in –

[31:23] it's a weird, quirky town, and there's a slasher on the loose.

[31:25] You know, if a slasher was loose in Sicily, Alaska or, you know, Austin, Texas or something like that,

[31:32] or, you know, Portland, Oregon, you know, one of these cities that considers itself a weird city.

Dan McCoy

[31:36] They tried to get rid of the slasher in Austin, but I was like, keep Austin weird, guys.

[31:40] We want that guy out there murdering people.

[31:42] I mean, Leatherface is basically right, Austin slasher.

Elliott Kalan

[31:45] Yeah.

[31:45] This is part of the Austin character.

[31:47] We've got to make this a historically preserved landmark slasher.

[31:51] So, okay, Troy Michigan is a person.

Stuart Wellington

[31:51] He should be like some kind of like bat monster too, right?

[31:54] Because Austin's known for their bats.

[31:56] Guys, we're not talking about Austin.

Elliott Kalan

[31:57] I feel like Austin, Texas has its movies and has its characters.

[32:00] Yeah, it does.

[32:01] We don't need to give Austin any help, okay?

Stuart Wellington

[32:03] Yeah, I got a text from Richard Linklater.

[32:05] He says, stay out of Austin.

Elliott Kalan

[32:07] Stay in Troy.

[32:08] It's mine.

[32:10] Okay, so Troy, Michigan.

[32:11] It is a quirky little town with a slasher running around in it.

[32:14] I like that for it.

[32:15] Okay, let's go to number 11 on this list.

[32:17] It's Broken Arrow, Oklahoma.

[32:19] Population 116,677.

[32:21] So, I think this is the biggest of the cities we're going to be talking about.

[32:23] Pretty cool name.

[32:25] Yeah, it's a cool name.

[32:26] It has a humid subtropical climate.

[32:27] Fuck off with this humid shit.

[32:30] I mean, every place is humid these days.

[32:32] Yeah, apparently.

[32:33] Everyone wants to be humid.

[32:34] It's the largest suburb of Tulsa.

[32:36] They've got a FedEx ground office.

[32:38] They've got a Bass Pro Shop.

[32:39] They've got the Rima Bible Training Center.

[32:41] Oh, pro.

[32:42] You know what?

[32:43] Yeah, it's not a Bass Amateur Shop.

[32:45] Bass Amateur Shop.

[32:46] No, amateurs need not apply.

[32:49] Professionals only.

[32:50] Oh, man.

[32:50] Now, I need one of those fucking hats.

[32:51] It's like, bro.

Dan McCoy

[32:52] It's like, I've pretended to, you know, enough.

[32:55] I've worked hard to be a Bass.

[32:57] Yeah.

[32:57] And now.

[32:57] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[32:57] I think I've got what it takes to make real money off of being a Bass.

[33:00] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[33:01] I was a smallmouth Bass before, but now I think I'm a largemouth.

Stuart Wellington

[33:03] Yeah, I know all the words of that song that I have to sing when he pushed a button.

[33:07] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[33:08] Take me to the river.

[33:11] You know who went to high school there?

[33:13] Another Broadway legend, Christian Chenoweth, went to high school in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma.

[33:17] And movies shot in Broken Arrow include Tex with Matt Dillon, but neither of the two

[33:22] movies called Broken Arrow were shot or set in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma.

[33:26] First off, that sucks.

Dan McCoy

[33:27] A slap in the face to Broken Arrow.

Elliott Kalan

[33:29] Yeah.

[33:30] So, guys, Broken Arrow, what's its character?

[33:32] What's the movie?

[33:33] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[33:34] Well, it sounds like a big-ass city, right?

[33:37] It's pretty big.

[33:38] Yeah.

[33:38] It's a pretty big-ass city.

Dan McCoy

[33:39] As opposed to a big-ass city, which is what we were talking about earlier.

[33:43] Yeah, in Miami.

[33:44] Yeah, of course.

[33:44] In Miami.

Elliott Kalan

[33:46] It's a big Bass city, too.

Dan McCoy

[33:48] They've got that Bass Pro Shop.

[33:49] Oh, Christ.

[33:50] This is a big Bass city.

[33:52] Maybe there's something in there.

[33:54] I know that a fish ate Pittsburgh once, so.

Elliott Kalan

[33:57] Yeah, sure.

[33:59] Different city.

[34:00] Once.

[34:01] Just once.

[34:03] Pittsburgh has all these great things over there, but a fish eats your city once.

[34:07] Suddenly, that's all they want to make up.

[34:09] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[34:10] This is Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, you said?

[34:12] Yes, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma.

[34:14] I see a modern, I'm seeing like a modern Western.

[34:19] Okay.

[34:19] In an urban environment.

[34:22] But, you know, with the kind of Oklahoma Western feel.

Elliott Kalan

[34:26] And what is that Oklahoma Western feel?

Stuart Wellington

[34:28] You know, like tumbleweeds and shit.

Elliott Kalan

[34:31] So, just any Western.

[34:33] Yes.

[34:34] So, you're saying the city still has, this is a modern city of almost 120,000 people, and there's still tumbleweeds rolling through it.

[34:40] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[34:40] I'm saying that the, it has the elements of a, like a drifter coming into town.

[34:47] City.

[34:47] And, uh, city, uh, into this big city.

[34:50] And, uh, relatively, you know, relatively simple lines of good and evil drawn.

[34:55] However, there is, uh, there's, you know, more to it.

[34:59] And, uh, I don't know.

[35:01] So, it's another city that has an underbelly.

Elliott Kalan

[35:03] Always an underbelly.

[35:04] Similar to, uh, the first city we talked about, uh, Johns Creek, Georgia.

[35:08] So, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma also has an underbelly to it.

[35:10] Dan, what do you think?

Dan McCoy

[35:11] I'm trying to think about, you know, what I know about Oklahoma.

[35:14] I've been there, and I remember when I was a child, I was there, and my impression was that it was very flat.

[35:20] And this is as a man who, uh, came from Illinois.

[35:24] Yeah.

[35:25] So, uh, that's saying something.

[35:27] I know that my dad is from Oklahoma.

[35:29] He's an Okie.

[35:30] Okay, is he from Broken Arrow, Oklahoma?

[35:32] No, he's from closer to where, uh, Killers of the Flower Moon actually happened.

[35:37] Was he one of the killers of the Flower Moon?

[35:38] No, he was not.

[35:39] He was a child.

[35:40] It was after that happened.

[35:42] But he did.

Elliott Kalan

[35:43] Children can be killers.

[35:44] That's true.

[35:45] Dan, we've all seen The Bad Seed and Problem Child.

Dan McCoy

[35:47] It's true.

[35:47] Uh, but I guess I would say that, I guess it should be, like, a fictionalized, uh, biopic about my dad.

[35:55] Yeah, yeah, I like it.

[35:56] Sent in a city he didn't live in.

Stuart Wellington

[35:57] Okay, I like it.

[35:57] That sounds good.

[35:58] Yeah, sure.

[36:00] Uh, Dad's of the Flower Moon.

[36:01] That really highlights, uh, where he went wrong, you know?

[36:04] Yeah, fathers of the Flower Moon.

[36:05] Excuse me?

[36:06] Or killers of the Father Moon.

Elliott Kalan

[36:07] Yeah, where did your dad go wrong, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[36:10] Uh, you know, like many men of his generation, you know, he probably could have done with, like, some therapy, you know, just, like, emotional training.

[36:19] But he was, he's a good guy.

Elliott Kalan

[36:20] Yeah, he seems overall like a good guy.

Dan McCoy

[36:22] I mean, your parents have always struck me as good people.

[36:24] So, I don't know why you're making them the monsters who killed the Flower Moon, you know.

[36:27] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[36:27] You asked.

Elliott Kalan

[36:29] They're great.

[36:29] I asked when you answered, Dan.

[36:31] It takes two to ask a question, one to ask and one to answer.

[36:33] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[36:34] How did, uh, yeah, but then, if they're such good people, how did you guys end up like this?

[36:38] Okay, again.

Elliott Kalan

[36:40] Moving on to the next city in the list, let's go to number 13.

[36:42] That's Ellicott City, Maryland.

[36:44] Population 77, 336.

[36:46] Yes, I picked this one because it sounds like my name.

[36:48] It's spelled with two L's and two T's the proper way.

[36:52] Now, what kind of climate do you want to guess Ellicott City has?

[36:55] It's fucking humid.

[36:57] You bet it's humid.

[36:57] It's humid, subtropical climate.

[36:59] There's sporadic snowfall in the winter, but usually relatively light.

[37:02] It's a suburb of Baltimore.

[37:04] It's called the Heart and Soul of Maryland because it's right in the center there, I think.

[37:07] It once housed a fairy tale-themed amusement park called the Enchanted Forest.

[37:11] It's since closed.

[37:12] It's also home to the oldest surviving railroad station in America.

[37:14] This is where the famous race took place in 1830 between the steam engine Tom Thumb and a horse,

[37:19] where technically the steam engine lost because it broke down,

[37:22] but it showed people that steam power will be a thing to reckon with in the railroad industry.

[37:26] The armies passed through here several times during the Civil War,

[37:29] but I don't think they ever fought here.

[37:30] Notable residents, according to Wikipedia, include Divine and Edward Snowden.

[37:35] And there have been some movies shot.

[37:37] Two peas in a pod.

Stuart Wellington

[37:39] The span of humanity.

[37:41] What do they talk about?

Elliott Kalan

[37:44] Yeah, I assume they were roommates at some point, yeah.

[37:47] Buddy comedy.

[37:49] Movies shot in Ellicott City include The Goddess, Crybaby, and The Blair Witch Project, part of it.

[37:53] So I feel like we're already backing into a movie where it's Divine and Edward Snowden together in some way.

[38:01] Yeah.

[38:01] But what is the character of Ellicott City?

Dan McCoy

[38:03] I'm thinking of the character of Ellicott is sort of like a fast-talking, know-it-all kind of a pain in the ass sometimes.

Elliott Kalan

[38:13] Interesting.

[38:14] Interesting.

Dan McCoy

[38:15] I wonder what this is based in.

[38:16] Devoted family man.

[38:18] Sort of workaholic.

[38:19] Always too busy for things.

[38:20] Very stressed out.

Stuart Wellington

[38:22] Yeah.

[38:22] Losing his hair.

[38:23] I think this is where my friend lives.

[38:27] I think my friend lives in Frederick, Maryland, which I think is a suburb of Ellicott.

[38:33] And this is where I drove down to play Warhammer with him, and my fucking car broke down, and I got stuck there for a couple extra days.

[38:41] You know the character firsthand.

[38:43] I know the character firsthand.

[38:44] It's a place where cars break down.

[38:45] I will say I was not able to get my car fixed on a Sunday because all the mechanics were closed.

[38:52] So there's something terrifying about that.

Elliott Kalan

[38:55] Yeah.

[38:55] So it's a religious place, maybe a little cultish, potentially.

Stuart Wellington

[38:58] Yeah.

[38:59] It's the town that dreaded Sundays.

[39:02] Sundays?

Elliott Kalan

[39:04] So, Stuart, so let's build off.

[39:06] So it's the kind of town where your car might break down, but you might get stuck there for a little bit.

[39:09] Now, is it – and then is it scary or you get caught in a kind of paranoid thriller of Edward Snowden conspiratorial stuff?

[39:15] Or is it that you get stuck there and you learn something new about your life from Divine and the other, you know, quirky, loud, proud people there?

Stuart Wellington

[39:21] I learned something about my life.

[39:22] I also was like – I didn't bring enough clothes to stay here a couple extra days and walk and wash my underwear in the sink.

[39:29] So you learned to bring more clothes.

[39:30] So I had to like walk around.

[39:32] It was really hard to find.

[39:33] There's really few – like the hotel I was in was near shopping, like a shopping center.

[39:41] But there's very few menswear stores, which was frustrating.

Elliott Kalan

[39:45] Okay.

[39:45] So Ellicott – so the city that might have been Ellicott that you got –

[39:49] I think it was.

[39:50] That you got stuck in.

[39:51] Hard to get men's clothes there.

[39:52] It would explain – I mean it's an interesting origin for Divine's personal style.

[39:56] It's hard to buy men's clothes there.

[39:59] Okay, guys.

[40:00] So I think we haven't really figured out Ellicott completely.

[40:03] But Dan, I liked the way you were – something about the way you were describing made it sound really cool.

[40:07] Really cool and sexy.

[40:08] Yeah.

[40:08] I don't know why.

[40:09] It really appealed to me.

[40:10] This fast-talking, annoying workaholic city.

Stuart Wellington

[40:13] I think this is an example of my firsthand experience is actually a detriment because it limits my imagination.

[40:20] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[40:20] That's a good point.

[40:21] Sometimes it's better to be not bound by the experience.

[40:24] To be a fantasy.

[40:25] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[40:27] I don't like the way Dan smiles when he says fantasy.

[40:29] I don't either.

[40:31] So there's one city left –

[40:32] That's why I got George R. R. Martin smiles when he says fantasy.

Elliott Kalan

[40:37] Well, Dan is the author of several best-selling novels that will never be finished.

[40:40] Sure.

[40:41] What?

[40:42] They're not going to be finished?

[40:43] I mean, get George on the job.

[40:46] He doesn't seem that intent on doing it.

[40:48] But I put so much – I read all these books and he's like, finish them?

[40:53] I mean, maybe he will.

[40:54] Maybe he'll hire somebody else to finish them someday.

[40:56] It's okay.

[40:57] Maybe you, Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[40:59] That would be amazing.

[41:02] There would all of a sudden be some really cool characters introduced that look a lot like me.

[41:07] Yeah.

[41:07] And I would be – and all the babes would be like, he's the best.

[41:11] And all the dudes are like, he's scary and tough and cool.

[41:13] And I'd be like, hell yes, Stuart is cool.

[41:15] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[41:16] And what's the title of this concluding Game of Thrones volume that you're going to – or Song of Ice and Fire volume that you're going to write?

Stuart Wellington

[41:21] Yeah.

[41:22] Fire of Stews.

[41:24] What?

[41:25] Okay.

[41:25] A pot of stews.

[41:26] Let's call it that.

Elliott Kalan

[41:28] So, this last one, see, we're going to talk about.

[41:30] This is number 31 on this list.

[41:32] Again, there's 250 cities on this list.

[41:34] We couldn't cover them all.

[41:35] Maybe we'll – you know what?

[41:36] Next year, maybe we'll set some incredibly high pledge goal.

[41:40] And if we reach it, we'll talk about all 250 cities on this list.

[41:44] But it would have to be that we'd have to get like 30,000 new and upgraded subscribers or 50,000.

Stuart Wellington

[41:49] And then we'll just live stream us going through all of them constantly.

[41:52] Going crazy.

[41:52] Yeah.

[41:53] Exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[41:54] So, question – so, this is city number 31, West Des Moines, Iowa.

[41:57] Not to be confused with Des Moines, Iowa.

[41:59] Or East Des Moines.

[42:00] Or East Des Moines.

[42:01] That's true.

[42:01] Or North or South.

[42:02] Population 71,794.

[42:05] Climate.

[42:05] You guessed it.

[42:06] Humid continental.

[42:07] Fucking A.

[42:09] In 1915, a major auto race was held here and a couple people were killed accidentally during the race.

[42:14] Until 1937, though, it was called Valley Junction.

[42:17] But voters changed the name to West Des Moines because they thought it sounded more prestigious and glamorous.

[42:22] West Des Moines.

[42:23] They wanted all the glamour of Des Moines, Iowa.

[42:25] So, Microsoft has a number of data centers there, including one of the locations where Chet GPT was trained.

[42:30] So, it is evil.

[42:32] Yeah.

[42:32] And I don't know what movies were shot there because when I tried to research it, I kept getting movies that were shot in regular Des Moines and not West Des Moines.

[42:39] Again, it's a different place than Des Moines.

[42:41] So, guys, what is the character of West Des Moines and what kind of story are we telling about it to bring out that character?

Dan McCoy

[42:46] Evil AI.

[42:47] You already touched it.

[42:48] Okay.

[42:49] What were you going to say?

[42:50] I mean, the fact that you couldn't find anything for West Des Moines because of Des Moines.

[42:54] I was always thinking, I was thinking, you know, like overshadowed, feeling like unappreciated.

[43:00] Yeah, the kind of thing that would lead them to create an evil AI.

[43:02] Yeah, of course.

[43:03] Take the revenge.

Elliott Kalan

[43:05] So, West Des Moines is always living in the shadow of regular Des Moines.

[43:07] It's the little brother of the two.

[43:09] Yeah.

[43:09] And so, it's a place full of resentment, seething with resentment.

[43:13] If you live in West Des Moines, please write in and let me know if the city seethes with resentment.

[43:17] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[43:17] It's like I went to school with this kid who was from Youngstown, Ohio.

[43:24] And he would always talk about how Youngstown, Ohio was like really dangerous and tough and it had a really big murder rate.

[43:30] It did.

[43:31] And he was like, when he was a kid, he was like, the murder rate was so high, they called it Little Chicago until Youngstown's murder rate exceeded Chicago's.

[43:39] And they started calling Chicago Big Youngstown.

[43:42] And I'm like, I do not think they ever did.

[43:44] That part could ever happen.

Elliott Kalan

[43:44] Nobody has ever called it that.

[43:46] I mean, in Youngstown, I guess.

[43:47] From what I understand, it's accurate.

[43:50] So, guys, I think we figured out a lot of these cities.

[43:53] Again, to repeat what we decided, Johns Creek, Georgia, number one greatest place to live in the U.S., according to U.S. Newsroom Report.

[44:00] That is going to be a seedy underbelly.

[44:02] Too human for me, sorry.

[44:03] Or romantic comedy.

[44:05] Fishers, Indiana, number four on the list.

[44:08] We didn't really – what did we come up with for Fishers?

[44:13] Fisher Stevens.

[44:13] Fisher Stevens hangs out there.

[44:15] Yeah, I guess so.

[44:16] Goes fishing.

[44:16] Slice of Life.

[44:17] I think that was Slice of Life, teens trying to escape.

[44:19] Then there's number five and number seven, Cary, North Carolina and Apex, North Carolina.

[44:23] Cary is full of Cary's.

[44:25] And Apex was the place where Toxie is fighting off the people made too beautiful.

[44:31] Then Troy, Michigan, we talked about.

[44:33] It's a quirky little town, little city that's also got a slasher.

[44:37] Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, which is kind of a modern-day western with moral boundaries being crossed.

[44:44] And tumbleweeds.

[44:45] And tumbleweeds and professional bass.

[44:47] Ellicott City, Maryland is basically me.

[44:49] But a city.

[44:51] And Divine is there.

[44:52] Hard to buy man's clothes.

[44:54] And West Des Moines, Iowa is, of course, resentful about the shadow cast by Big Des Moines.

[45:00] So if you live in any of these –

[45:01] Big Nailed it.

Elliott Kalan

[45:01] Yeah, if you live in any of these cities, tell us how good we did.

[45:04] Did we accurately describe your city?

[45:06] Is that the kind of movie you want to see about the place you live?

[45:08] I would love to hear about it.

[45:09] Just write to Elliot Kalin, care of Dan McCoy, real address TBD.

[45:14] Dan, just include your real address later on.

[45:16] Will do.

[45:17] And we will be happy to find out how right or wrong we were.

[45:21] That is, of course, this episode of The Map House, a subsidiary podcast of The Flophouse.

[45:26] Hollywood, there you have it.

[45:27] You've got a whole slew of new city characters to start setting movies in, courtesy of me, Elliot Kalin, and my cohorts, Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington.

[45:34] I'd like to, of course, thank Alex Smith, our producer.

[45:37] He goes under the name Howell Doughty when he's recording music and magic online.

[45:42] The music is magical and the magic is musical.

[45:44] He doesn't actually do magic, but he's a really talented musician.

[45:46] We are a podcast of the MaxFun Network.

[45:48] Please try the other MaxFun shows if you like silliness and information about cities maybe you never thought about before.

[45:55] Until next time, this has been The Map House.

[45:58] Join us next week for the regular Flophouse.

[46:00] Goodbye and good locating to you.

[46:04] Bye.

[46:05] Actually, I should have said, please be with you.

FH Mini 133 - Cinematic Cities

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