Ep. #299 - The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes

[0:00] On this episode we discuss the Computer War Tennis Shoes.

[0:04] Or as it's known on the East Coast, the Computer War Sneakers.

[0:30] Hey everyone and welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:38] Wow, it's me, Stuart Willington.

[0:41] And over here in Los Angeles, California, home of Hollyweird, where they make the movies,

[0:47] and sometimes a lot of TV shows too, and occasionally theater, but surprisingly the

[0:52] theater scene is not what you think it would be in a town so full of writers and actors and

[0:56] directors. It's something, I mean, that I'm kind of surprised by, but in a lot of ways it makes

[1:01] sense because people here are more trained for screen acting than stage acting. It's Elliot Kalin.

[1:06] Oh, that went on for so long I didn't realize you hadn't actually said your name yet.

[1:10] Yeah, not yet, but now I have and it's Elliot Kalin. That's me. Good night, everybody.

[1:15] Oh, okay. Well, I guess Elliot's gone. I guess it's just you and me, Dan.

[1:20] One of us, when one of us goes, the other reaps the whole taunting.

[1:26] So guys, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[1:32] And now, Dan, do you usually sound like you're on the verge of death on the show?

[1:36] Well, I actually often do, but in this case a little more so because I got a cold right

[1:42] before Thanksgiving. I did a lot of Thanksgiving traveling and I think even though I was on the

[1:47] mend, that pushed me back down the hill and I woke up this morning sounding like this.

[1:53] So this is one of those things where you're like,

[1:56] if I'm going to die, I'm going to record a sweet podcast before I go.

[2:00] Please carve the computer war tennis shoes on my gravestone.

[2:05] My only regret is I didn't tell the world what I thought about a young Kurt Russell.

[2:10] That's what you would say on your deathbed.

[2:12] Yeah, let's explain.

[2:14] Big surprise. He's a handsome guy.

[2:16] Let's explain a little bit.

[2:18] This is back when Captain Ron was just an ensign.

[2:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2:24] The audience members are like, the computer war tennis shoes?

[2:28] That little seen Disney live action movie from the early 70s?

[2:33] That spawned multiple sequels, right?

[2:35] Two sequels.

[2:37] And we are like, yeah, it's impressive that you actually know what that is,

[2:41] listener, but we're doing it because...

[2:43] Now, listen, don't take this as an endorsement of Disney Plus.

[2:47] Take it as what it is.

[2:48] Us shamelessly trying to capitalize on the reflected glory that is Disney Plus.

[2:54] Oh, okay.

[2:56] You think Disney Plus is going to, if people like Google search Disney Plus,

[3:00] they're like, what's everybody talking about?

[3:02] Yeah.

[3:02] They might get a link to our podcast.

[3:04] I was going to say, people who search for Disney Plus also search for The Flophouse,

[3:08] the computer war tennis shoes.

[3:09] This will be the 182nd link that Google pulls up.

[3:14] Yep.

[3:15] Maybe if you do that, I feel lucky button, it'll come up.

[3:20] Yeah.

[3:21] Maybe this is just us trying to placate our world entertainment zaibatsu overlords

[3:26] that will, I'm sure, soon absorb all media.

[3:29] Could be.

[3:30] But I just thought it'd be kind of fun to do something different.

[3:35] And that's this, you know?

[3:38] Yeah.

[3:39] It is different.

[3:40] Dan, have you ever tried to goose the Google search for this show a little bit?

[3:44] Like you could rename an episode like The Flophouse, Disney Plus, Trump, boobs.

[3:52] Elliott Kalen feet.

[3:54] Yeah.

[3:54] Elliott Kalen feet.

[3:55] Yeah.

[3:56] You just put anyone's feet in there and it'll do it.

[3:58] Because otherwise they'll think it's featuring Elliott Kalen, which I've done on many hip hop

[4:02] tracks, but it's not my actual feet because I don't sing through them.

[4:06] You don't sing through your feet or you don't sing through the tracks that you're on?

[4:10] I mean...

[4:10] Oh, I sing through the tracks that I'm on.

[4:12] That's why I get hired for so many.

[4:13] But I don't sing through my feet.

[4:14] You do like a high melody part, right?

[4:17] You don't do like a rap over the letters?

[4:19] No, no, no.

[4:19] No, I'm the one...

[4:20] You're like the weekend?

[4:22] When it slows down a little bit and it's got to be soulful.

[4:25] That's when I come in.

[4:25] Not the rap part.

[4:26] I can't do that.

[4:27] That's too difficult.

[4:28] Oh, I was going to say, because your letters songs have a lot of internal rhymes, like

[4:34] much of modern rap.

[4:37] Not so much just rhymes at the end of the line, but he mixes it up.

[4:42] Are you doing a little pitch to do some kind of a hip hop podcast with Jesse Thorne now?

[4:47] That's right.

[4:47] Yeah, it's going to be called,

[4:48] Jesse, I Don't Know What You're Talking About with Jesse and Elliott.

[4:51] Yeah, that'd be great.

[4:53] So Dan, this is all a very scheming, conniving, shallow, greedy way for us to

[5:01] jump aboard the Disney Plus gravy train and talk about a Disney Plus movie.

[5:05] And you were especially excited to do this because...

[5:09] Is it because you love old school Disney or because you love jumping onto trends?

[5:13] I say as you twerk and whip your hair back and forth right in front of me.

[5:18] And you're also doing the ice bucket challenge?

[5:20] Trends?

[5:20] I'm sorry.

[5:21] Trends, Elliott?

[5:22] Are you a time traveler?

[5:24] Your trends are a little out of date, is what I'm saying.

[5:27] But is this...

[5:28] Which is it?

[5:28] Because I know you like old Disney stuff, right?

[5:31] Yeah, a big part of it is...

[5:34] This was a movie that I saw on the Disney Channel when I was a very young child and

[5:39] enjoyed because I had power fantasies of being super smart.

[5:47] But I couldn't remember anything about it.

[5:48] And also wearing tennis shoes, right?

[5:50] Because you grew up very poor and your parents could only afford to buy you cardboard shoes,

[5:55] which you could not play tennis in.

[5:56] Because the courts at the time where you were...

[5:59] Again, it was a very poor town.

[6:00] The courts were made of glass and the glass courts were just ripped up those cardboard shoes.

[6:03] It seems like that would be more expensive to get, like, what, a single pane of glass?

[6:08] No, no, no.

[6:08] It's just shards.

[6:09] It's crushed glass, I guess that makes sense.

[6:12] Oh, Elliott.

[6:12] The idea that I would ever exercise as vigorously as a game of tennis is comical to me.

[6:19] No, but I also like...

[6:21] The glass Tennessee...

[6:23] The glass tennis court by Tennessee Williams.

[6:26] Tennis hyphen Y.

[6:30] Williams.

[6:32] No, I also like, you know, as with...

[6:37] I mean, obviously, I have a fascination with things that are bad,

[6:40] thus this podcast.

[6:42] And I have a fascination with, like, old Disney.

[6:46] So this period where they pumped out really dumb live-action comedies

[6:51] is kind of interesting to me, even though they're all objectively, like, boring and terrible.

[6:57] So...

[6:57] Even Son of Flubber?

[7:00] Even Son of Flubber.

[7:02] Okay.

[7:04] Even...

[7:04] And so, there's another movie that I wanted to do,

[7:07] which we'll do another time, called Million Dollar Duck, which...

[7:10] Maybe we'll get to see that.

[7:11] But it seems like a lot of the Disney movies at the time involved

[7:14] someone discovering something and then being chased for it.

[7:18] That was pretty much the formula, right?

[7:19] Yeah.

[7:22] When the computer wore tennis shoes wrapped up and the credits were playing,

[7:26] the...

[7:26] My next option was to watch The Ugly Dachshund,

[7:32] which also looked pretty good, guys.

[7:34] I mean, the thing is, they should have just called it The Dachshund.

[7:36] Am I right, everybody?

[7:37] Oh, wow.

[7:38] Oh, wow.

[7:39] Oh, man, we are going to get some unsubscribes in a second.

[7:42] I'm just saying, those wiener dogs are busted.

[7:45] Oh, wow.

[7:46] Oh, there's one at work that's adorable.

[7:48] Yeah, you name them Frank.

[7:50] That's what you do with them.

[7:52] They're all named Frank.

[7:54] Yeah.

[7:54] But you got to explain to people, if it's named Frank,

[7:57] you got to explain to visitors to your house, you got to be like,

[7:59] now this is a dog, not a Frankfurter.

[8:03] Do not put mustard on it and try to eat it.

[8:05] Yeah, they're like, oh, it's such an honor to meet you, Mr. Curry.

[8:08] And you're like, no, no, this is not Tim Curry in the role of Frank and Furter

[8:11] from the movie Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[8:13] This is a dog.

[8:14] Yeah.

[8:14] Yep.

[8:15] I mean, in this scenario, you have very dumb friends.

[8:18] Yeah, I know.

[8:21] I know you're going to be tempted to put a dog sized hot dog bun on him

[8:25] and put some relish on him so that you can take a photo of him.

[8:30] But I'm sorry.

[8:31] You might be tempted to eat him.

[8:32] I don't think it's a good idea.

[8:33] No, no.

[8:34] I know you're going to be tempted to ask him to sing one of his many hits,

[8:37] New York, New York, the autumn of my years, September of my years.

[8:41] But no, this is not Frank Sinatra, it's a dog named Frank.

[8:45] If you look closely, you'll see that he does not have blue eyes.

[8:48] So he is not Frank Sinatra.

[8:49] So don't say sing my way, because the best you're going to get is

[8:52] Rai, Rai, which is not that's not the way Frank Sinatra sounds.

[8:56] So I want to say everybody, that was just a joke.

[8:59] Dachshunds, of course, are adorable dogs bred to have their bodies fall apart

[9:03] so that we may be delighted by the inconvenience with which they live.

[9:07] Dan, continue.

[9:08] So you love old Disney movies.

[9:10] Yeah.

[9:10] And I think we all really like Kurt Russell quite a bit.

[9:14] It's fun to see him back in his, like, not child actor at this point,

[9:19] cusp of adulthood actor days.

[9:23] This is when the ancient Greeks would say he was at his most beautiful,

[9:26] when he's still a young man, but his full beard has not come in yet.

[9:32] Give me a bearded Kurt Russell.

[9:33] Give me a Kurt Russell with elaborate facial hair, please.

[9:36] OK, eight for late.

[9:37] Turn it on.

[9:38] Yeah.

[9:41] OK, let's just start.

[9:42] So, Dan, you're doing today.

[9:44] So I want to so I want to warn everybody that Dan's doing the plot today.

[9:47] Now, I hear the rustling of papers, which tells me that Dan took notes,

[9:50] which is a different thing for him.

[9:54] Yeah, but my body sabotaged me.

[9:57] It's weird.

[9:57] They're they look like they should be notes.

[10:00] but it's just torn out pages of highlights for kids

[10:04] so that it will be as he does this thing and gallantly does the opposite and and

[10:08] the word jumble isn't even filled out so i don't know if i don't know it's

[10:12] uh...

[10:13] uh... so

[10:14] we still have a lot

[10:16] fanfare

[10:17] the flop house presents disney plus spectacular showcase the computer war

[10:22] tennis shoes starring kurt russell and cesar romero

[10:25] hosted by dan mccoy

[10:27] and now

[10:28] live from the disney main street electric parade it's dan mccoy

[10:34] i wish i could remember how that thing goes

[10:36] uh... and i would or i would i would do it although my voice is done although

[10:39] this is this may be a little theme writers like that uh... yeah i want to

[10:43] get a news i'm going to get to that right we start off with

[10:45] these pop art kind of credits with the with the title song about how the

[10:49] computer war tennis shoes and has lyrics like making the news

[10:53] paying his dues

[10:55] and there's computer bleep bloops in the background they also mention that he is

[10:58] he's he's coming up with ideas of what they call a cosmothropic pace

[11:03] which is a word that i've yet to see anywhere else

[11:06] uh...

[11:07] it's science

[11:08] uh... you would understand

[11:10] good point true

[11:12] uh... so we open on there's uh... wait wait dan does the theme song illuminate

[11:16] at all how this computer suddenly got shoes on him

[11:19] or is it still a mystery

[11:20] it's still a mystery at this point

[11:22] i i believe

[11:24] i i i i i don't know where you just looked up the computer tower and stuff

[11:28] some shoes underneath it there you go

[11:30] yeah good point

[11:31] like like there's a wicked witch under there it's like one of those mister

[11:34] potater heads

[11:36] now those are two different things you guys have just compared it to stewart

[11:39] yours is a little more apt i feel because mister tenet is wearing the

[11:42] shoes he's not sitting on top of a dead body that has shoes on it whereas dan if it's a

[11:46] wicked witch scenario that is a corpse that has shoes on it and of course you're

[11:49] gonna remove those shoes and its feet are gonna roll back like two gross

[11:53] beetle juice sand worms

[11:56] so i guess what i'm saying is folks

[11:58] folks if you see a dead witch under a house don't steal her shoes

[12:02] you're just gonna end up in a load of trouble when you could have gotten home

[12:05] the entire time by finding a friendly con artist with a hot air balloon

[12:09] and that's

[12:10] one to grow on you have the wrong way around anyway

[12:13] so we start she needs the shoes to get by at the end i'm saying you don't need those shoes

[12:16] if you get in the hot air balloon

[12:17] and your dog jumps out and you're like alright goodbye toto i guess you like to

[12:21] ask more i can get another dog in kansas

[12:23] so it's kind of like how do we know that that balloon can get you back to kansas

[12:27] come on

[12:28] i mean as we know he makes it clear he doesn't know how it works but

[12:31] i mean he got it from omaha

[12:33] omaha's closer to kansas than the emerald city is so you do the math dan

[12:37] stewart you were gonna say so it's kind of like the whole thing where like if indiana

[12:40] jones just stayed working his normal professor's job

[12:44] those nazis would have just been killed by the ark anyway it would have been even better

[12:47] probably would have been killed by the nazis so there was at least something

[12:51] now now they would have brought the ark to hitler because he's like oh i want to

[12:54] see this this is going to be pretty cool

[12:56] the spirit of death would have the angel of death would have killed hitler war over

[13:00] thanks indiana jones for prolonging the war

[13:03] actually that's a pretty good point

[13:05] it's not a good point at all

[13:07] it's not like without indiana jones they would have changed the idea of like let's

[13:10] look at the ark ahead of time just to be sure no they were only doing that because they

[13:14] wanted to show indiana jones how cool they were if he wasn't there they'd be like hey

[13:18] guys proper safety procedures let's wait till we get this to berlin before we open

[13:22] up the ark

[13:23] yeah you're right you're right we just we don't have any americana schweinhunds

[13:26] here that we really need to impress by showing how super duper uber tough we are by opening

[13:31] up the ark right in front of him so let's wait till we get it home

[13:33] yeah i guess elliot just saw jojo rabbit

[13:36] i did just see jojo rabbit

[13:39] i tweeted about this the weirdest thing about jojo rabbit is that the jojo rabbit the

[13:44] actor the character he looks like i imagine my son sammy will look when he is that age

[13:48] like he looks a lot like him so it's like okay so this is what my son looks like as

[13:51] a nazi thanks taika appreciate it

[13:55] all right well we've only gotten to the credit so please let me

[13:59] all right so dan where does this take place at a high-tech military installation a lunar

[14:03] colony where

[14:04] no it's at a college i have the name written down later but i forget it right now

[14:08] i think it's medford or something

[14:10] oh it's medfield medfield college

[14:11] yeah so we open in like the college's dean is talking to i don't know i mean like one

[14:18] of the people he's talking to is a professor so it's unclear like you would think that

[14:22] he was like this is kind of an administrative meeting but maybe this professor's on some

[14:26] sort of

[14:27] i mean they're talking about a budget right

[14:28] yeah it appears to me they were talking about the school budget and professor quigley has

[14:32] a proposal he wants the school to buy a computer

[14:35] i was trying to remember where i recognized that actor from uh because he looks super

[14:39] familiar and then i i saw his credits were like 385 acting credits and i'm like well

[14:45] i could look through this or i could watch the movie i'm i'm supposed to be watching

[14:50] yeah

[14:51] there are a lot of the actors in this were in tons of movies and tv shows you've seen

[14:54] them

[14:55] quigley uh wants this computer for the science department and the college dean is like blah

[15:01] blah blah we don't have the money for that meanwhile uh the kids uh the gang uh one of

[15:08] whom being kurt russell have a transmitter hidden in the flowers so they can listen into

[15:13] this administrative meeting that they're fascinated by for some reason

[15:17] well the reason is because they're worried about being on some kind of like double secret

[15:22] probation

[15:23] yeah no like the dean denies the computer and he says okay on to our non-gifted students

[15:29] and it's just interesting that all these quote-unquote bad students are so uh like invested in hearing

[15:35] whether they're you know on this bad list of well because here's the thing here's this

[15:40] is a pretty subversive movie in a lot of ways and i think one of the main reasons is any

[15:44] power structure i'll tell you what it really has to worry about and who the real enemies

[15:48] are not the criminal element or the troublemaking kids the kids who are invested in the system

[15:54] and want to see positive change those are the ones who are really threatening the system

[15:58] at its foundations and so dexter kurt russell and his friends they're on the bad list not

[16:03] because they're bad kids but because they're too interested in seeing good things happen

[16:09] and that's how this plays out yeah and that threatens the dean's power and as you'll see

[16:13] throughout the movie this is a movie very much about power and the way power corrupts

[16:17] and also the way that power is used as leverage on both an educational and a governmental

[16:23] and in some ways and a criminal uh level so it's very much about this intersection between

[16:28] what i call the educational scientific criminal complex and how dexter fits into that which

[16:33] is as a goofy dude who electroshocks himself by accident it's kind of like how saturn in

[16:38] order to maintain his power devoured his children you know exactly yes i'm beginning to see

[16:43] why uh stewart seems more than usually annoyed at elliot when he's the one doing the summary

[16:51] but anyway they want like they're they really want this computer so kurt russell want is

[16:56] going to get this local businessman to maybe donate he's like the guy that he worked for

[17:00] it is very funny that it's like oh here here's the non-gifted ne'er-do-wells we should kick

[17:04] out and they're like we should help this we should help a local businessman donate a

[17:08] computer to the college yeah and lo and behold who's this business businessman but cesar

[17:13] romero tv's the joker and maybe he is playing the joker out of makeup here because he as

[17:20] you will find out he is a criminal later on but he's not like a funny criminal no i don't

[17:26] know i think that he does before he becomes the joker pretty funny and and there and there's

[17:32] some events over the course of the movie i feel that might be a inciting moment that

[17:37] might turn him into the joker but we'll get to that we'll get so you're saying the movie

[17:40] joker is a remake of the computer war tennis shoes yeah that's right mm-hmm todd phillips

[17:47] saw the subplot involving cesar romero in this movie says this gives me an idea uh yeah

[17:55] so they talked to the businessman he's like i don't know i already donated all this money

[18:00] but uh but ultimately he thinks like maybe he will and he goes into a secret room behind

[18:07] a portrait of whistler's mother on the wall and they're using their computer that they

[18:13] have in the back to do mysterious betting things uh-huh gambling like fixing sports

[18:19] betting or something yeah it's not totally clear how the computer figures into the runs

[18:23] he runs a series of rigged casinos yeah and somehow they need the computer for that now

[18:29] here's one of the more baffling decisions that he makes which i guess if you're as perverse

[18:33] as the joker maybe it makes sense in a strange humorous way but he's like well this computer

[18:39] is the nerve center of our legal organization you know what i think i will donate it to

[18:43] the college yeah even if it wasn't full of incriminating evidence why would he give up

[18:48] the thing he needs to run all this the illegal casinos dan yeah what's going on in his mind

[18:52] other than the sheer again perversity of being a living joke he does tell his henchman

[18:58] not to give the money to uh the the college so maybe he's just gonna buy a newer computer

[19:04] with that money uh and get rid of like old hardware it is it is strange though that like

[19:11] i don't know it seems like kurt russell should have made it clear and it seems like he does

[19:15] make it clear that they need both the money and the computer but cesar romero's like no

[19:20] i'm pulling the funding and giving you this giant giving you this trash now it feels

[19:26] like they should have had a scene where his henchman is like the police are on to us we

[19:29] got to get rid of the evidence so he's like oh okay i'll donate the computer to the college

[19:34] and that way we'll have it that would have made that would have made everything make

[19:37] way more sense but instead he's just like oh this will save me twenty thousand bucks

[19:40] if i send them this incriminating crime computer yeah uh then we get a scene that's kind of

[19:47] not that necessary where the computer is getting moved into the science department uh-huh and

[19:52] the dean comes in angry that cesar romero was taking the money back and he's mad at

[19:56] kurt russell's character dexter uh-huh this is this scene has one up there's

[20:00] A couple of jokes in the movie where I'm like,

[20:01] why are these jokes in a kid's movie?

[20:03] And in this one, the professor is bossing them around

[20:05] and they're like, boy, the professor

[20:06] doesn't waste any time.

[20:07] And he goes, yeah, if he was in charge

[20:09] of the Soviet's five-year plan,

[20:10] it would be done in six months.

[20:12] And it was like, was that something

[20:13] that kids thought was really funny at the time,

[20:14] like Soviet planning jokes?

[20:18] So the good professor is giving,

[20:21] like Quigley is lecturing on the computer,

[20:24] on computers in general,

[20:26] and he's got these watercolor big diagrams

[20:28] on like placards and...

[20:31] And what are they diagrams of, Dan?

[20:34] One's like a guy's head, like a brain,

[20:37] I don't know, I can't remember.

[20:39] But Quigley, I have noted down here,

[20:42] the actor is William Shallert,

[20:44] because I too, like Stuart, was like,

[20:46] I've seen this guy in a million things, who is he?

[20:48] But yeah, he's been in too much.

[20:50] I think he was in a bunch of episodes

[20:52] of The New Gidget, so write it down, guys.

[20:57] Put that in your dossier for William Shallert.

[21:00] So, Jesus, like...

[21:04] So he does a lecture,

[21:05] the computer like explodes or something,

[21:07] and he's like, oh, my mainframe thing got all busted.

[21:09] I have to go to the radio shack.

[21:11] He's showing a really elaborate demonstration

[21:13] of how a computer, properly programmed,

[21:15] can close a window and order groceries over the phone.

[21:20] Yeah, I've got, like this movie is so nothing

[21:23] that like, I was like, I made these notes,

[21:26] and sometimes the notes get a little shorthand-y.

[21:28] I'm like, oh, I'll remember what it is,

[21:30] because I watched this movie, and no, I don't.

[21:33] Like, it's like, I have this thing.

[21:35] So read your notes, and we'll puzzle them out

[21:37] like we're deciphering the snowman's clues,

[21:39] because he left us all the clues, Mr. Police.

[21:41] Well, I remember this first one,

[21:42] experiment with rain gauge and computer.

[21:44] That's, he put a rain gauge on the roof,

[21:47] and like, if you don't want to go out

[21:49] to the store or whatever, like,

[21:52] the computer will phone for you to have it delivered,

[21:54] or I don't know.

[21:55] He's like, why should I expend the effort

[21:58] of shutting one window and calling the store

[22:00] and speaking to them for 30 seconds

[22:02] when I can spend several hours programming

[22:04] this computer to do those for me?

[22:06] Yeah, but the note that I don't quite understand,

[22:08] it says, space computer.

[22:10] Experiment does crazy stuff with door and phone.

[22:14] Yep.

[22:14] I mean, the phone just starts like,

[22:16] lifting up and down, and the door starts slamming.

[22:18] It's kind of got, it was reminiscent of the like,

[22:20] when the evil spirit takes over the cabin in Evil Dead 2.

[22:26] And everything starts saying dead by dawn.

[22:27] Yeah.

[22:28] That's kind of what it reminded me of.

[22:29] Yeah, I think what happens is they posit,

[22:31] I think that the computer used to be used

[22:32] for space experiments.

[22:33] And so that information may still be in it.

[22:35] And they ask it about it and it goes nuts.

[22:38] Oh, okay.

[22:39] Crazy.

[22:40] So something like, one of the things got fried out

[22:43] and he's like, oh, well, I guess I'll never be able

[22:45] to fix this ever again.

[22:46] And then Kurt Russell's like, okay,

[22:48] I'll drive a couple hours to the store to buy you a new one.

[22:52] Well, no, he's, yeah, I think he's,

[22:54] I think he's, yeah, stealing it from where he used to work

[22:57] or whatever.

[22:58] And he's trying to get out of,

[22:59] he's trying to get out of studying for this big test

[23:01] that's coming up.

[23:02] The dean is like, the big standardized test

[23:04] is coming up tomorrow.

[23:06] And we, last year, we were second to last

[23:08] in the whole state.

[23:10] Yeah, and Kurt Russell drives in the rain

[23:12] and the rain is this great, like,

[23:13] that rear screen projection that just looks like

[23:15] a bunch of crazy scribbles out the window.

[23:18] I mean, and we can barely see it

[23:19] because he's plastered his windshield and windows

[23:22] with the stuff he's supposed to be studying.

[23:23] So while he's driving, he's reading and trying to study.

[23:26] And I'm like, ah, to be able to read and drive

[23:27] at the same time.

[23:28] Yeah, that's a real, yeah,

[23:31] that's a real long haul trucker technique, I think.

[23:34] And he's also peeing in a bottle

[23:36] and then hurling the bottle out the window.

[23:38] Yeah, so saying breaker, breaker and stuff.

[23:42] Kurt, Kurt goes into the classroom late at night

[23:44] to replace his parts and he,

[23:47] and there's like rain on, water on the floor.

[23:50] And he holds a couple of wires and he gets electrocuted.

[23:55] But luckily the rubber soles of his tennis shoes

[23:57] would protect him from this.

[24:00] Could be.

[24:00] I think he actually, I think he is,

[24:03] I think he's always wearing dress shoes in this movie,

[24:06] which I think is the craziest choice.

[24:08] Well, also, also my girlfriend pointed out

[24:12] that he's always wearing the same sweater.

[24:15] Yeah.

[24:16] Like everyone else changes clothes in the movie

[24:18] and he briefly does when he becomes like

[24:20] more like famous and powerful,

[24:21] but he changes into some pretty snazzy clothes eventually.

[24:24] Yeah, but he's basically wearing the same sweater.

[24:26] She was mostly interested in this movie for the costumes,

[24:29] which were a lot of fun.

[24:30] Yeah.

[24:31] A lot of mascots and such.

[24:33] He, he made, I think that sweater has some important to him.

[24:36] It's just an important sweater.

[24:37] Cause I don't, I think I was looking up,

[24:39] there's deleted scenes and there's a scene

[24:41] where he explains to someone that if they want

[24:43] to destroy his sweater,

[24:44] they should just pull the thread as he walks away

[24:46] and leave him naked lying on the floor.

[24:48] And they're like,

[24:49] I don't want that to happen to you, Dexter.

[24:51] You're my friend.

[24:52] He's like, okay, then I guess I'll just wear

[24:52] this sweater forever.

[24:54] And it pans over to-

[24:55] It's weird why they removed that because,

[24:56] I mean, I guess it makes sense.

[24:57] Cause this movie is a all killer, no filler.

[25:00] Yeah. And it pans over to a little baby

[25:02] with, with big chunky glasses on,

[25:04] who goes Goo Goo Ga Ga Weezer.

[25:07] And that's of course the actual Rivers Phoenix,

[25:09] Rivers Cuomo, sorry not Rivers Phoenix,

[25:11] the actual Rivers Cuomo in a cameo as a baby.

[25:13] So just a huge coincidence that he later wrote a song

[25:15] with those same lyrics in it.

[25:17] And also like timing wise, I guess that makes sense.

[25:20] Cause this movie came out in what, 68?

[25:23] Yeah. And I think he's, he's what, like 70 years old.

[25:25] Hmm.

[25:28] It's just something that my, whoa.

[25:31] Sorry, I'm getting, getting all crazy here.

[25:34] Former Flophouse guest, Jenny Jaffe said to me

[25:36] when she realized that Weezer is dad rock now.

[25:38] And I'm like, I think it always kind of was dad rock.

[25:41] Hmm.

[25:43] Okay.

[25:44] Opinions, Dan?

[25:45] No.

[25:45] Do you want to take on that hot take

[25:46] about Weezer? No, I don't.

[25:47] That it's dad rock?

[25:48] I don't want to do that at all.

[25:49] So, um, so Kurt is-

[25:52] So Dan, as you made it clear that it's been raining,

[25:54] he got zapped, and then he got zapped again.

[25:55] Oh God, why do you have to recap?

[25:57] I'm moving on.

[25:59] Cause I want to talk about him being zapped.

[26:00] Yeah, he got zapped.

[26:01] And zapped again.

[26:03] And, and then he's asleep in his dorm room

[26:07] and he's sleep talking all this like computer nonsense

[26:10] and there's beeps and boops going on for some reason.

[26:14] I think I know the reason.

[26:16] Yeah.

[26:16] And so finally it's the day of this big standardized test.

[26:20] Kurt and his buddies are taking it

[26:22] and Dexter, his character, suddenly knows everything.

[26:26] He's zooming through this test.

[26:29] And there, again, there's beep noises as he thinks.

[26:32] Like, I don't know, like being electrocuted

[26:33] has somehow also imparted that to him.

[26:38] It's turned his brain into a computer.

[26:39] A computer that, brace yourself, wears tennis shoes.

[26:45] So he finishes the test super fast

[26:46] and then he like eats a sandwich really loud.

[26:50] It's such a weird scene cause it goes from being

[26:52] about how he finishes the test super fast

[26:54] to about how everything he's doing is loud

[26:56] and distracting to everyone else in the room.

[26:58] And this is the loudest sandwich.

[26:59] It's like why'd you bring a sandwich

[27:00] with you to the test, Kurt?

[27:02] Well, but also like no sandwich has ever been this loud.

[27:04] It's like he's eating a sandwich filled with gravel.

[27:06] Like it's crazy how much the thing crunches.

[27:08] I don't know, maybe he threw some potato chips on there.

[27:10] He had to get some crunch in the test.

[27:11] Even those would have gotten soggy

[27:12] while he was taking the test.

[27:14] Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense.

[27:16] It's filled with like pork cracklings and stuff.

[27:19] So the Dean, of course, thinks that he cheated on this test

[27:24] cause he got everything right super fast.

[27:26] But Quigley doesn't think that he cheated.

[27:29] And I have in my notes,

[27:30] because question mark, question mark, question mark.

[27:33] I mean, other than like he likes this kid,

[27:35] I don't know why.

[27:36] Yeah, well, don't they like immediately

[27:38] take him to the doctor and they start examining him?

[27:40] Yes, I'm gonna get to that right now.

[27:42] The doctor looks in his ears and shows them

[27:45] and there's blinking computer lights inside his ears.

[27:50] And then also-

[27:51] They do like an x-ray of his head

[27:52] and there's like videos and stuff.

[27:55] Yeah, there's gambling stuff and a bikini woman

[27:56] in like, I think it was like a banana car or something.

[27:59] I thought it was a bathtub car.

[28:00] A bathtub car, that's right.

[28:01] I was waiting for that to pay off

[28:02] cause I'm like, okay, computer parts in his brain,

[28:04] he's a computer, and there's gambling

[28:06] cause the computer's being used for gambling

[28:08] and I guess the computer likes to visualize

[28:09] what it's thinking about.

[28:10] But then I didn't understand why the bikini girl

[28:12] in a bathtub car, maybe that's just a sexual fantasy

[28:15] that was already in his brain.

[28:16] Yeah, I think that's just meant to be Dexter's

[28:18] normal thoughts that are still in there.

[28:20] Yeah, he's a budding surrealist.

[28:23] Like how you sometimes see Homer's thoughts

[28:26] and it's like, you know, a cartoon

[28:28] playing Turkey in the Straw or whatever.

[28:30] So you're saying, Dan, if you got zapped by that computer,

[28:33] they'd look into your mind and it'd be like

[28:35] a little bit of math and a little bit of gambling

[28:38] and then just like a parade of butts?

[28:40] A butt parade sounds terrific.

[28:43] Let's make it happen, let's get the permits today.

[28:46] I'm glad you're going through the right channels.

[28:50] Well, cause this is going to be down Fifth Avenue, right?

[28:52] You can't even hear us.

[28:53] Oh wow, that's not cheap.

[28:54] No.

[28:55] It's going to be ticker tape butt parade.

[28:56] Guys, can I take a moment to complain about something

[28:58] that happened during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade?

[29:01] Sure, I would love it.

[29:01] Let's pump the brakes on this speeding car.

[29:04] At the very beginning of it, the host says,

[29:06] he's like, there are people here from all over the country

[29:08] and that's what this day is all about,

[29:09] people coming together to enjoy the parade.

[29:12] And I was like, this holiday is not about the parade.

[29:14] Hold on a second.

[29:15] Like, wait a minute, let's not go that far.

[29:18] And it just irked me, you know?

[29:19] Yeah.

[29:20] And I love the Macy's.

[29:21] Yeah, that speech was given by the owner of Macy's,

[29:25] William H. Macy's.

[29:26] And you know, he's just trying to get over the fact

[29:28] that his wife is a criminal now, so I understand it.

[29:31] I love that parade, but mostly for nostalgic reasons,

[29:35] like the idea that I-

[29:35] For the Peanuts characters.

[29:37] What?

[29:38] For the Peanuts characters?

[29:39] Yeah, kind of.

[29:40] But like, I love, you know, when I was a kid,

[29:42] I watched it, I'm like, ooh, big balloons.

[29:43] But now I watch it and I'm-

[29:45] Now you watch porn for the same reason.

[29:47] I watch it mostly to be amused by the fact that it's like,

[29:51] okay, what NBC stars can we shoehorn in here?

[29:55] Because NBC owns this property.

[29:58] Well, actually it was on CBS.

[30:00] this year can you believe it

[30:01] no wasn't

[30:02] was where i was

[30:04] uh... i don't think

[30:05] cbs has its own parade

[30:07] uh... it's called the macy's thanksgiving parade i was lucky and i had

[30:11] al roker on it and al roker i believe is

[30:14] maybe see personnel maybe a different maybe a different coverage

[30:17] as i said i definitely so the cbs version of it

[30:19] there are a lot of stars from evil

[30:22] but uh... okay the but also like it's like all your favorite corporate

[30:26] mascots are going to be on a balloon coming down the street

[30:29] the pillsbury doughboy was going down the street and sammy was like who's that

[30:32] and i'm like

[30:32] oh that's the pillsbury doughboy he's this guy and i'm like who's just in

[30:35] commercials and he just sells

[30:37] baked goods and all he uses

[30:40] is a corporate product and also when you poke him he goes hoo hoo

[30:43] and sammy was like i like him

[30:45] he is very cute but i was like oh yeah he has no

[30:50] there's literally nothing to him except trying to sell

[30:53] toaster rolls and things like that but there's no

[30:56] he's not a he's not part from a movie or anything like that

[30:59] and it really struck me hard

[31:00] guys i guess commercials are art when you look at it

[31:04] yes

[31:05] uh... i've zoned out so i hope i didn't agree with something dumb

[31:09] uh...

[31:10] yeah i mean you basically you agreed to the premise of mad men

[31:15] so

[31:16] dexter's going to be on tv

[31:18] and there's another presumably even more evil dean

[31:22] who wants to steal dexter to his school

[31:25] from the state school this is one of those movies where

[31:28] like in ghostbusters where the people who work for

[31:31] a public utility or administration are the bad guy

[31:36] uh... so professors from other schools quiz dexter and dexter is getting

[31:41] more and more computer-like by the moment at one point he says

[31:44] uh... we've wasted thirty eight seconds on applause already perhaps if we save

[31:48] the applause at the end it will go more smoothly i'm going to start incorporating that

[31:51] bit into our live shows i think

[31:53] and like this new cockiness of dexter's

[31:57] turns his friends against him almost immediately

[32:01] and he it's like this like it's weird is that he's barely

[32:05] more cocky

[32:06] and they who have presumably been friends with him for

[32:09] you know a few years at this point

[32:11] they're like fuck this guy

[32:13] wow you're taking the shoes

[32:15] it's kinda weird that you're taking the side of the guy who becomes like a cocky

[32:18] distant jerk

[32:19] over

[32:21] it's not like i... over his friends

[32:25] as you know because you've seen the movie his friends save him from

[32:27] gangsters at the end at the risk of their own life

[32:31] i mean that seems like

[32:33] you know that doesn't seem like

[32:35] and what would you do guys? damn things they're doing that for their own ends

[32:38] that's the least i could do if my friend was kidnapped by gangsters the least i could do

[32:41] is solve the problem myself

[32:44] with no training go undercover and and rescue him well i mean that's their

[32:48] stupidity they could have enlisted professional help in this matter

[32:52] if only they were all computers too yeah then they'd know how to... i feel like there should have been a

[32:56] subplot in this movie where one of the other kids tries to become a computer

[33:00] and he like... he like electric eats himself to death

[33:04] only dexter can do that in his laboratory wait a minute

[33:07] dexter's laboratory yeah now i get it maybe it was a pair of brothers the

[33:12] scolari brothers perhaps who are trying... we'll figure it out

[33:15] so

[33:16] dexter gets off a plane and this is very important he's wearing a double-breasted

[33:20] pinstripe suit with a turtleneck

[33:24] and uh... he kisses two girls and annie

[33:28] gets mad and i have a girlfriend question mark because it's never really clear

[33:33] whether they actually are involved or whether she's just jealous

[33:37] yeah i mean i think i think there's i think there's some kind of connection

[33:40] whether or not it's been made official

[33:41] yeah i mean and you've got to assume she's got a crush on him he's kurt

[33:44] russell he's very handsome but i would be offended if i saw my friend who's

[33:48] starting to become a condescending jerk

[33:51] get off a plane on tv and two women he has never met before walk up to him to

[33:55] hand him flowers this is a welcoming committee and he immediately just starts

[33:58] macking on both of them in front of the camera

[34:01] and just because of the entitlement you know

[34:03] he's got that

[34:04] he's got that computer wore tennis shoes entitlement that all computers with

[34:08] tennis shoes have that they can just do whatever they want without any

[34:11] consequences meanwhile normal computers without tennis shoes are out there

[34:17] you know every day like doing the stuff that he can't even comprehend

[34:21] a radio with bowling shoes talk to him

[34:24] talk about your privilege computer with tennis shoes

[34:26] this radio with bowling shoes is living a totally different america than you are

[34:31] so dexter gets this ticker tape parade which is hilarious because it cuts

[34:35] between

[34:36] stock footage of a ticker tape parade

[34:38] and a tight shot on the car

[34:40] where someone's throwing confetti at him and he's waving madly

[34:44] and then he goes to the UN and he's just sort of standing around talking to

[34:48] world leaders in front of the UN in different languages

[34:51] anyway so an encyclopedia CEO

[34:54] contacts the dean about college

[34:57] like an education bowl like a quiz bowl thing it's called college knowledge

[35:02] and the other evil dean wants him so they can win

[35:06] I think it's a little far to call him an evil dean

[35:09] well yeah maybe just from the perspective of our main dean

[35:13] is he evil but you know in college movies all deans are evil

[35:18] it's so funny because the dean is set up in the first scene as

[35:21] as if he's going to be the bad guy

[35:23] he doesn't like our heroes he's denying the good professor's computer

[35:27] and then this other dean comes in and is like oh he should come to my school which

[35:30] has a lot more resources and suddenly we're supposed to be like no

[35:33] I love the dean from Medfield

[35:35] Medfield's a great school

[35:37] I mean it's the the devil you know you know

[35:39] so return to this like it's not quite a montage let's call it a series of short scenes

[35:44] just like showing Dexter's life changing

[35:46] he's watching a giant diamond get cut

[35:49] and he's like I know how to cut this diamond and the diamond cutter's like very

[35:53] offended by this

[35:54] and he tries to cut it and it shatters into a million little pieces

[35:58] that's a good way to show how much smarter he is

[36:01] is use something that everyone's familiar with

[36:03] the idea that it's hard to cut a diamond

[36:05] also the idea that he must have like this is taking place in an alternate universe

[36:09] where diamonds are not the hardest substance known to man

[36:13] yeah

[36:14] uh

[36:14] oh and did you did you mention that we learned that Dexter has not yet

[36:18] registered for the spring semester

[36:20] oh right yeah they want

[36:21] it's not certain that he's going to definitely go to Medfield next semester

[36:25] yeah

[36:26] and we also see him at Cape Kennedy where uh

[36:29] there's a rocket going off and

[36:31] Cesar Romero calls him about a job in his organization

[36:35] and he calls him at the base right at the rocket base

[36:38] put me through to the computer who wears tennis shoes

[36:41] yes this is this is a local wealthy man

[36:44] I'm a businessman in the California area

[36:47] put me through to the most famous man in America who's at your rocket base watching a rocket ship

[36:51] okay well the rocket's about to launch and we brought him here to watch it for some reason

[36:55] so but yeah okay you can talk to him

[36:57] because there's no there's no punch line to this

[36:59] they don't need him there you just see footage of a rocket taking off

[37:02] yeah I mean you know he's doing smart stuff like going to NASA

[37:05] but anyway so Dexter like uh sort of blows off the dean to meet with Cesar Romero

[37:11] and he goes and Cesar Romero takes Dexter to the track

[37:15] where uh he's uh Dexter suggests this long shot bet

[37:19] and a mackadoodle the horse that that he says should come uh comes from way behind

[37:26] and over the course of I assume the whole afternoon

[37:29] Cesar Romero wins $28,000 because Dexter's picking the horses

[37:36] and like it seems that if Dexter just has the information that was in

[37:40] Cesar Romero's computer in the first place

[37:42] like he should have been Arno the Cesar Romero character

[37:45] should have been able to do this the whole time

[37:47] he doesn't need it to be transferred

[37:49] filtered through Kurt Russell's unique perspective

[37:53] yeah I guess that makes sense

[37:54] you would also think that like the mafiosos who run the track would be like

[37:58] uh these guys are winning too much because of this kid

[38:01] maybe we should ban the computer brains kid

[38:05] and this is also much to the chagrin of Arno Cesar Romero's main henchman

[38:10] yeah his major domo

[38:12] yeah who's used to giving him horse tips

[38:14] now I know the horse name is Macadoodle that makes more sense

[38:17] I thought his name was Market Doodle

[38:19] and I was like I don't know what kind of market has doodles

[38:22] but I mean horse names are always crazy right

[38:25] yeah that's true

[38:26] like I don't think you can own a horse

[38:27] and you're like oh I'm gonna name my horse Jeffrey

[38:30] and everyone else will be like nope you're not allowed

[38:32] nope you gotta name him Tangerine Explosion

[38:35] I think I misread it before I think it's in between both what we both said

[38:39] it's Markadoodle

[38:41] oh that makes more sense

[38:43] named after the famous explorer Marco Markadoodle

[38:47] it's the father of Rockadoodle

[38:50] wait now let's take a moment guys if you had a horse

[38:52] a race horse what would you name it

[38:54] Dan's horse

[38:56] okay Dan pushing the limits of the human imagination once again

[39:00] I bow to the sheer power of human creativity

[39:04] Dan once again you've shown that the only power in the universe that cannot be overcome

[39:10] is that of expression and art and creative thinking

[39:14] so Dan thank you for that

[39:16] Dan's horse

[39:18] I assume you went

[39:18] whole new vistas of perception opened before me

[39:22] what's weird is Dan had to go into a hallucinogenic trance

[39:25] to talk to his spirit animal to go so far beyond the unexpected

[39:29] that he ended up at the most expected name

[39:31] that's the thing it can only come from this fever state that Dan's in right now

[39:35] from his sickness

[39:36] and now if he wants to tap into that he's gonna have to make himself sick every time

[39:40] yeah and so Stuart what would you name your horse

[39:44] man probably Stuart's horse

[39:47] it's guys I like I'm blown away I'm blown I love what I'm hearing I give you both a pluses

[39:56] uh so both of these deans are keen on getting Dexter to roll for them

[40:00] next semester. A couple of Keene Deans. Yeah, Keene Deans, and they're following, so they follow him.

[40:05] That sounds like a fifties all-male a cappella group, the Keene Deans.

[40:11] They follow him to an illegal casino, called Garibaldi's, because this movie is racist.

[40:17] The casino gets raided, and the Deans wind up in a jail cell together,

[40:24] as well as, in a different cell, Dexter and Cesar Romero's henchman.

[40:30] They have a scene, I kept wanting this scene to be like the one in The Master,

[40:34] when Philip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix are in those jail cells, and they're just yelling at each other.

[40:38] Yep, and breaking toilets.

[40:41] But, Nary, a privy is shattered in this movie.

[40:45] Now, at this point, Dexter gets disillusioned about how everyone wants a piece of him,

[40:49] and the character arc of this movie has been so fast.

[40:53] He becomes a jerk, a mild jerk, very quickly.

[40:59] We see a few scenes of that, and then he repents very quickly.

[41:04] Now, Dan, you have to realize, this movie is only 91 minutes,

[41:07] and fully 40 minutes of that is the least fun chase scene in the history of movies.

[41:11] Well, that's what I was going to say. If I was going to be charitable, I would say,

[41:14] this is 91 minutes long, they don't have a lot of space for this character development,

[41:19] but then I think of all of the wonderful, marvelous pieces of entertainment out there

[41:24] that managed to pack amazing amounts of story and character into an equal amount of time,

[41:30] and I think, shame on you, computer-weared tennis shoes.

[41:35] Or less. This movie is at least four times as long as the It's a Good Life episode of The Twilight Zone.

[41:41] Yeah.

[41:42] And it fails to reach those heights.

[41:44] Which I think also features the guy who plays Quigley.

[41:50] So, Dexter's friends have come to bail him out.

[41:55] Yeah, they're pooling all their money to bail him out.

[41:57] Yeah, Cesar Romero has already bailed him out, so he sees them bailing him out,

[42:01] and that convinces him to stay at the current school because he loves these people too much, and he apologizes.

[42:07] And what was the name of that school again, Dan?

[42:09] Medfield.

[42:10] Right.

[42:11] Dex apologizes to Annie.

[42:12] I apologize, Dan.

[42:13] Maybe his girlfriend.

[42:14] I asked you that assuming you would not have remembered the name.

[42:17] I apologize for underestimating you because you did remember the name.

[42:21] Yes. Well, it's in my notes.

[42:23] So, yeah, let's talk about this.

[42:25] Dan, at this point, you still think maybe it's his girlfriend.

[42:28] Who knows? Who knows?

[42:30] I mean, he specifically apologizes to her.

[42:33] I mean, it's a crazy time in your life, man, being in college.

[42:36] Yeah.

[42:37] That's true.

[42:38] We all have our own rules.

[42:39] Why put labels on things?

[42:40] Yeah.

[42:41] Okay.

[42:42] Hey, you're that computer that wore the tennis shoes.

[42:44] Hey, I don't like putting labels on things.

[42:46] Just call me Dexter, which I guess is also a kind of label.

[42:49] Though you may think in binary, your relationships don't have to be, you know?

[42:55] So that's a very open-minded, gender-fluid computer that you're portraying there, Stuart, and I appreciate that.

[43:02] So Dexter is prepping for this quiz bowl.

[43:06] He's reading through a whole encyclopedia, Johnny-Five style.

[43:09] Yep.

[43:10] And the dean has, like, names of a bunch of smart students he wants on the team.

[43:15] But Dexter picks his friends because I don't know why.

[43:19] He picks that Schuyler dude who's something else.

[43:24] So they're in the quiz, and Dexter doesn't want to hog all the questions, so he tries to feed his friends the answers.

[43:32] And they are such idiots that they can't apparently just hear an answer and repeat it to the moderator.

[43:38] Yeah.

[43:39] So they have a rocky start, but they still win, right?

[43:43] Yeah, they still win.

[43:44] Now, wait.

[43:45] I will say, Dan, I have been in that exact situation.

[43:47] On this podcast?

[43:49] On this – yeah.

[43:51] But I was on my high school quiz bowl team.

[43:53] We were in a quiz bowl tournament, and the answer to a question – it was this thing where it was, like, bird puns was the category.

[43:59] And the answer to this one was – but it was one of these rounds where only the captain of the team could answer, and I was not the captain.

[44:04] Although I eventually took an Uzi and pointed at him, and I said, I'm the captain now.

[44:09] Yeah, you don't have the force of charisma to be a captain, Elliot.

[44:13] Yeah.

[44:14] I guess – you know what?

[44:15] In that movie, it wasn't an Uzi.

[44:16] It was probably an AK-47.

[44:17] No, it was, like, just a rifle.

[44:18] It was, like, a – oh, it wasn't even an automatic weapon?

[44:19] No, it was an automatic rifle.

[44:20] Or, like, a bowcaster or something.

[44:22] It was a bowcaster or a ray blaster, yeah.

[44:25] It was a batleth.

[44:27] It was a slingshot with an acorn full of gunpowder.

[44:30] So he was – so the answer to this one question was, eat crow.

[44:35] That was the phrase.

[44:36] And the captain was, like – I don't know.

[44:39] What is it?

[44:40] And I was, like, eat crow.

[44:41] And he's, like, e-crow?

[44:42] No, eat crow, like the phrase.

[44:44] E-crow?

[44:45] I don't understand.

[44:46] What are you telling me?

[44:47] And I was so frustrated.

[44:48] I was, like, how are you a high school student who is the captain of this academic team, and you've never heard the phrase eat crow before?

[44:54] Come on, man.

[44:55] So I understand it's very frustrating.

[44:57] But, guys, here's where this movie made a big mistake.

[45:01] Okay.

[45:02] Huge.

[45:03] Because it works on commission.

[45:04] Big mistake.

[45:05] Huge.

[45:06] So their final category is The Work of Marcel Duchamp.

[45:09] This is when my ears prick up because I happen to be a particular aficionado of Marcel Duchamp.

[45:15] And I may be wrong about this, but it seems to me they identified one of his paintings as nude descending a staircase

[45:23] when, in fact, that painting's title is Nude Descending a Staircase No. 2.

[45:28] Dexter, your team is disqualified.

[45:30] Get the fuck off the college knowledge set.

[45:32] Guys, were you as mad as I was that this 1960s Disney movie failed to completely accurately relay the title of the painting that was the hit and also scandal of the Armory Show of 1913?

[45:45] You know what?

[45:46] I'm going to cancel my subscription.

[45:47] You just added new depth to the scene where his friends just can't get it.

[45:52] Like they have to accept that they are not smart, and that's kind of how I feel right now.

[45:57] So the evil dean is like – or the other dean.

[46:01] Let's call him the other dean because, yes, he's not that evil.

[46:04] Yeah, let's call him State School Dean.

[46:06] State School Dean.

[46:07] Which in any other movie would make him the hero of the movie.

[46:10] Wants Dexter's dean to withdraw Dexter because it's unfair.

[46:14] Which is right.

[46:15] Is right.

[46:16] It's the Teen Wolf logic.

[46:17] Yeah.

[46:18] Meanwhile, Cesar Romero is watching the finals.

[46:21] I wish there were scenes of the State School Dean electrocuting his students trying to get one of them to have a computer.

[46:26] That's what I was saying.

[46:27] That's what this movie needs.

[46:29] Let's just – we've got to replicate him.

[46:31] How many students have we electrocuted?

[46:32] 79.

[46:33] What are the results?

[46:34] 50 of them died.

[46:35] Keep going.

[46:36] We need to win college knowledge and that encyclopedia money.

[46:40] Yeah, he goes down to the basement.

[46:42] It's just filled with coffins of Hugh Jackman's body.

[46:46] The cloning machine works great.

[46:48] I don't care about the cloning machine.

[46:50] Clone one with a computer in his brain.

[46:53] So Cesar Romero is watching the Quiz Bowl finals and he's like, oh, man, we missed out on this guy.

[46:59] We should have him in our organization.

[47:02] And Dexter answers a question where the answer is Applejack, which causes him to start spouting Cesar Romero's private casino info.

[47:13] Yeah, it's like a fugue state.

[47:15] Applejack was one of the code words.

[47:17] Yeah.

[47:18] I guess I assume the question was what breakfast cereal was sold for years despite nobody liking it?

[47:24] No, it was about the liquor Applejack.

[47:27] Oh, so not about the cereal Applejacks.

[47:29] Yeah, no, no, no.

[47:30] It's like what do kids love?

[47:31] They love apples and they love the game jacks.

[47:33] What if we combine them into one amazing cereal?

[47:36] Yeah.

[47:37] Yeah.

[47:38] That chokes people?

[47:39] Yeah, exactly.

[47:40] Much like with Fruit Loops, they were like kids love fruit.

[47:43] They love misspelling things and they love loops.

[47:46] They like to close loops like in the hit book Getting Things Done where they talk about closing work loops.

[47:51] Kids love that.

[47:52] So let's combine them into one cereal.

[47:54] Now, who would be the best spokesman for this thing?

[47:56] It's fruit.

[47:57] It's loops.

[47:58] A toucan, of course.

[47:59] Nothing says fruit and the shape of a loop like a toucan.

[48:03] Yeah.

[48:04] Okay.

[48:05] So kids love the cold.

[48:06] They like it when it's a snow day and they don't have school.

[48:08] Frosted, when things are frosted.

[48:10] And kids love flakes.

[48:11] Just shake their – just scratch their head.

[48:13] It's full of dandruff.

[48:14] They love those flakes.

[48:15] So many flakes.

[48:16] And so frosted flakes.

[48:17] Well, what says to me, ooh, sugar frosted skin flakes?

[48:20] A tiger, of course.

[48:22] Sure, yeah.

[48:23] Yes, a tiger.

[48:24] Now, we're going to need some kind of slogan that tells people that the cereal is great.

[48:26] We can't just come out and say they're great.

[48:28] Wait.

[48:29] Why can't we?

[48:30] Hold on a second.

[48:31] Oh, yeah.

[48:32] Now, here's my scene from the Mad Men episode that never got made about frosted flakes.

[48:36] They're up all night trying to figure out a slogan for this cereal, and he's like,

[48:40] well, what do we think about them?

[48:42] They're frosted, sugary, crunchy.

[48:45] What if we said they're crunchy?

[48:48] No, it doesn't work.

[48:49] It doesn't work.

[48:50] Well, I mean they're just – they're great.

[48:51] Sure.

[48:52] Hold on.

[48:53] Yeah.

[48:54] Say that again.

[48:55] What did you just say?

[48:56] I said they're great.

[48:57] I was laughing when you said it, so the grr got extended.

[49:00] But we need a spokesman who could extend a grr for a length of time.

[49:04] Who should it be?

[49:06] Some kind of a wolf?

[49:07] No, no, no.

[49:08] Wolves howl.

[49:09] They don't growl.

[49:10] Like a bear?

[49:11] It can't be a bear.

[49:12] Remember?

[49:13] There's already a smoky bear, and he's a nightmare to work with.

[49:16] He's a huge prima donna.

[49:17] Well, what if it was like a tiger, a real tiger that people would – it would eat the children.

[49:23] No, no.

[49:24] What about a cartoon tiger?

[49:25] A cartoon tiger.

[49:26] You mean like Cool Cat, the crappiest Looney Tunes cartoon there ever was?

[49:29] No, no, no.

[49:30] Not like Cool Cat at all.

[49:31] He's the worst.

[49:32] Okay.

[49:33] A cartoon tiger.

[49:34] Oh, God.

[49:35] Sure.

[49:36] So he's naked?

[49:37] No, he has like a scarf around his neck, like an ascot.

[49:38] Okay.

[49:39] You sold me on it.

[49:40] Okay.

[49:41] Well, I mean that's pretty good.

[49:42] It needs 90 percent more Don Draper talking about growing up around prostitutes.

[49:45] He gets into the Frosted Flakes meeting.

[49:48] He's like, you know, frosted is a Greek word meaning I have a sad life.

[49:54] I'm glad you brought up neckerchiefs because in this movie, the neckerchief for Dexter,

[49:59] Kurt Russell's character, kind of –

[50:00] and represents his like hubris

[50:02] and he has it wrapped around his neck when he is in his like primo cocky

[50:07] villain mode but he removes it when he decides no i want to support my friends

[50:11] but don't

[50:12] and i think the negative represents the news that is knowledge because knowledge

[50:17] once you have knowledge of the world inevitably of knowledge of your own

[50:19] mortality

[50:20] and in a way he is casting off that news and say no i shall live

[50:24] and i'll be young

[50:25] and i would like to use to look into the future

[50:27] so then

[50:28] uh... cesar romero panics because dexter is saying all this stuff on the air he shuts

[50:33] down his casinos he asks

[50:34] he asks his henchman to kidnap dexter

[50:38] uh... annie reports dex is missing the next day and annie and pete start

[50:41] listening to a

[50:43] to a tape of kurt's weird applejack ramblings to try and figure out what's

[50:47] happening

[50:48] to find the hidden messages

[50:50] they realize that the computer's info

[50:53] was transferred to dex's brain

[50:55] and uh... they they

[50:57] uh... tell one of his immediate yeah that's it was my favorite scene of the

[51:00] movie is when they have figured out the whole plan and

[51:04] schuyler walks up and he's like

[51:06] hey guys

[51:08] hey guys

[51:10] hey guys and they eventually knowledge in

[51:13] and then they explain the whole plot to him and i'm like this is

[51:17] this is not going to work and of course that we then cut to a police station

[51:21] where the police are listening to the tape

[51:23] listening to schuyler's insane ramblings

[51:25] and then he goes to you if they're like okay see you later and he wanders off

[51:29] and maybe it's because i saw the irishman just uh... like a day or two

[51:31] before but i kind of felt like these guys are going to kill him

[51:36] but also like it seems like okay like the point of the scene is

[51:40] this guy's an idiot

[51:42] like he's rambling

[51:43] like this message is not going to get across to the police but then later on it

[51:46] seemed like the police did understand him

[51:49] yeah so i mean that's the joke that's the joke at the end of the movie yeah i

[51:52] guess they just did they just distrusted it's he's a real jar jar

[51:55] binks look

[51:56] you don't get emperor palpatine without

[51:58] uh... handy fool fool like jar jar binks

[52:01] to put in that place

[52:02] and you don't get

[52:03] the unbelievably exciting house painting climax of this movie

[52:07] without schuyler being a moron who confuses the police yeah

[52:11] uh... okay so

[52:14] p nanny follow one of the goons they find uh... dexter uh... being forced to

[52:19] pick winners and

[52:21] whatever they're coaxing him to pick winners by giving him chicken out of a

[52:26] very nice bucket

[52:28] like an overflowing bucket of chicken and it's a bucket that looks like the

[52:31] kind of like plastic ice bucket you would have today hotel

[52:35] i mean it does not look like a like a disposable bucket it works for me i

[52:39] would give up

[52:40] a horse rack winner

[52:41] this must have been back in the day where you would go to a chicken place with your

[52:44] own bucket and you'd be like fill it up sir and they'd fill it up because you

[52:48] know once again it's just like how kirk ross only has one sweater

[52:51] this is a different time guys this is when we didn't live in a disposable

[52:54] culture that's where you would buy a sweater

[52:56] throw it out the next day and buy a new sweater

[52:59] no no this would be like if you were if you were going to kentucky fried chicken

[53:02] you would dress up this was a night out

[53:04] uh... men would wear a tie and a jacket

[53:07] women would wear pearls and you would go and it was like you know

[53:11] the old plantations of yore

[53:13] and you would uh... it would be a taste of kind of like

[53:15] taboo luxury because

[53:17] it was built on evil

[53:19] at the same time who wouldn't want to live that

[53:21] more uh...

[53:23] sedentary lifestyle

[53:24] uh... not if it's built on the backs of

[53:27] uh... slave labor yeah i mean well that's that they got to have the fantasy

[53:31] without the

[53:32] cruel cruel reality of it

[53:34] anyway at the time

[53:35] kentucky fried chicken was you know it would be a place you'd go on your

[53:37] anniversary not like now when kfc is a place that you throw a cat through the

[53:40] window of because you're so dismissive of it

[53:45] okay well anyway the gangsters

[53:47] are going to get as much juice out of dex as they can and they're gonna jump

[53:51] them in navajo lake which seems like

[53:53] a kind of a grim development for the tone of this movie otherwise uh... but

[53:57] uh... i mean are they definitely going to kill him or are they just going to as a

[54:00] prank just throw him in the lake

[54:01] uh... maybe that's it maybe they're just you know

[54:04] i mean they do talk about what they're going to do with the

[54:07] body

[54:10] i mean you don't refer to doing something with someone's body if they're

[54:13] alive right

[54:15] uh... usually not i guess that's true

[54:17] uh... maybe they're gonna take the head because that's where the computer is

[54:20] and just so you're

[54:21] he's portable

[54:22] and they'll just throw the body away

[54:24] that song about your body being a wonderland he's talking about a corpse

[54:28] yeah

[54:29] okay i mean who but a corpse would sit there and listen to that song

[54:34] so okay the kids

[54:36] oh and also that i'm in love with your the shape of you i'm in love with your

[54:39] body song oh that's about a corpse wow this is all this is opening up a whole new world

[54:43] of necrophilia and popular music let's drop some more adult contemporary bullshit

[54:48] so uh...

[54:50] his friends are going to save him they're going to pretend to be house painters

[54:54] the clearest

[54:56] you know plan and uh... they show up saying oh we're here to paint the house

[54:59] and the goon's like

[55:01] let me check on this i didn't order any house painters and he calls the number

[55:06] and they confirm that

[55:07] they're house painters another friend on the other side it's like the art vandal

[55:11] uh...

[55:13] the house

[55:14] like well even though we didn't hire them

[55:16] i guess you're professional so go to town everybody i'll pay you whatever you

[55:19] agree is is the right thing to be built

[55:22] i like the guy there's one of the guys is wearing they're all wearing coveralls

[55:26] uh... cuz they're painters and that's part of the costume and you gotta you

[55:28] know you gotta wear the costume or get into the character

[55:31] uh... and underneath his coveralls he's still wearing a turtleneck

[55:37] so back at the quiz show uh... dexter dean is freaking out and accuses the

[55:41] other dean of of doing something and

[55:44] the other dean is pretty smug for like not actually having

[55:47] anything to do with this scheme here's my guess the other dean did have a

[55:51] scheme to kidnap dexter and he thinks that it went like a charm

[55:56] so he thinks that he did it

[55:58] so uh... the painters the fake house painters are funneling paint

[56:03] into the gangsters cars uh... gasoline

[56:07] tanks

[56:08] and they're currently painting the house orange and green

[56:12] and cesar romero shows up and is understandably upset about his crime

[56:16] house being swarmed

[56:17] by painters who are doing the worst job of painting it so obvious

[56:23] even people who are not professional house painters can paint a house better

[56:26] than what they're doing

[56:28] it's all in like patches of different colors to be fair

[56:31] they're not really trying to paint the house

[56:34] they're not like hey as long as we're doing this let's do it right this is

[56:38] this is all just a cover so they're not trying that hard

[56:41] they're missing the scene they should have had here and this would have fit

[56:43] into that joker prequel idea

[56:45] because if one of them was so sloppy

[56:47] that they had a big house brush full of white paint and they just slapped cesar

[56:50] romero in the face with it

[56:51] and even painting over his mustache

[56:55] creating a joker look

[56:58] wait does the joker

[57:00] does the joker have paint on his face

[57:02] uh...

[57:03] uh... have you seen the joker?

[57:05] no i haven't it's in the movie theaters and i only watch things from the comfort

[57:09] of my own home oh fair good point fair good point yeah yeah so speaking of cesar

[57:12] romero he's like uh... henchman what's going on with all these painters

[57:16] and the guy's like no i've called the phone number they're cool

[57:19] and cesar romero's like let me try

[57:22] and so he calls the number which is like a public phone at the dorm

[57:25] and this real dick of a student answers it

[57:28] and just kind of fucks with cesar romero for a while and blows the whole scheme

[57:32] i think he's the real hero of the movie yeah

[57:35] so the gangsters try and sneak dexter out

[57:38] of the house in a trunk

[57:41] but the house painters actually

[57:43] shove it out a window and they start like

[57:46] blasting these dudes with paint it's like a fucking

[57:49] it's like the video game splatoon and in the fall dexter hits his head

[57:54] which i presume is the uh... the cause of what happens later on

[58:00] uh... so they escape

[58:02] and the gangsters can't follow because of uh... the uh... gas in the

[58:07] or the paint in the gas

[58:08] tank

[58:09] so they follow it like a dune buggy

[58:12] you know like a little jalopy covered in flower stickers now was that theirs or was that

[58:16] one of the students how did that get there

[58:17] i don't know

[58:18] well like it's just like

[58:21] this is one of the disney

[58:22] live-action movie wacky chases yeah do they steal it from one of the wacky racers or something

[58:29] yeah this is like

[58:30] i guess in the disney world live-action world dune buggy brightly painted dune

[58:34] buggies are just everywhere

[58:36] so the kids almost make the car skid out by like putting paint on the road

[58:41] throwing stuff at the gangsters

[58:43] there's a great little touch where they make the car skid out and it

[58:46] you can see there's a sign

[58:48] uh... next the road that says slippery when wet and you're like okay i guess it

[58:52] checks out yeah

[58:54] uh... the math and the and the

[58:56] and the jazz score is just screaming

[58:58] over the whole chase sequence

[59:00] there's more bad rear screen protection and the gangsters they crash they get

[59:03] launched through a haystack so just their heads are popped out on the other side

[59:08] that's great uh... and the cops show up and of course if this was a modern movie

[59:12] then a cow would have shat all over their faces that's true

[59:16] but seeing as this is a sixties disney movie that did not happen

[59:19] so the kids get dexter out of the trunk and he's his head is ringing and he can't

[59:24] straighten his legs because he's been all cramped up in that trunk

[59:27] trunk and they

[59:28] take him into the quiz and now dexter's starting to have a hard time with answers

[59:33] he's beginning to forget his

[59:35] this is the end part of flowers for algernon as he

[59:39] re-stupidifies himself and uh... very tasteful way to put that down

[59:45] that's a very sensitive way to put that down

[59:47] he lifted that from the wikipedia summary of flowers for algernon

[59:52] so he's having trouble answering the questions and he kind of has to force

[59:57] the answers out of his throat in this croaking

[1:00:00] like struggling sound and I think it's is it supposed to be funny because it

[1:00:04] sounds like he's having a series of strokes and I was worried about Dexter

[1:00:07] like it's a pain yeah yeah no he's you know he's this is taking all of his

[1:00:13] energy until finally he passes out like a dying computer and is that what

[1:00:18] happens to dying computers they pass out they pass out well I personify all my

[1:00:22] electronics that's right when your computer when your computer breaks you

[1:00:26] just throw water on and go wake up wake up I put some smelling salts I'm just

[1:00:33] slapping it in the face lightly hey hey don't fall asleep you might have a

[1:00:36] concussion computer you're forcing black coffee into the computer speaker like

[1:00:40] come on snap out of it Medfield is neck-and-neck with the other team they

[1:00:45] get down to the last question and one of Dexter's non-computer teammates knows

[1:00:52] an answer for once at the last second huh and they win the the thing which I

[1:00:58] guess comes with money that helps the college yeah that they're gonna spend on

[1:01:01] plumbing they went they get a hundred thousand dollars from the encyclopedia

[1:01:05] company because this is the 60s encyclopedia companies were flush with

[1:01:08] cash before the internet kind of put them out of business and the gangsters

[1:01:13] show up covered in paint and they start trying to get Dex again but the police

[1:01:18] arrest them and at the end of the scene it's a sickle cyclical movie we're back

[1:01:23] where we started in the meeting where Quigley is back to ask for a piece of

[1:01:27] equipment this time a electro helio spectrograph uh-huh and Annie says to

[1:01:34] Dexter if we ever get one don't fool around with it okay and that's the story

[1:01:39] of the computer that wore tennis shoes mm-hmm as written in the stars so Dan

[1:01:48] you were really excited to watch this movie how did it hold up in your you saw

[1:01:53] it as a kid and you were like I love it I'm gonna base my life on it I'm always

[1:01:56] gonna wear tennis shoes and I'm gonna be you know and I'm gonna if I go up to a

[1:02:00] woman getting off a plane I'm just gonna kiss her you know on television so how

[1:02:05] did it hold on you're gonna own a singular sweater just well I will say

[1:02:11] this I like it was I think it was last night huh my girlfriend was like oh did

[1:02:17] we ever watch the movie for the this podcast I was like yeah yeah we watched

[1:02:22] it oh yeah but I understand because like if I did not have these notes I would

[1:02:30] not remember a damn thing about this movie like let's get into final

[1:02:34] judgments good bad movie bad bad movie movie kind of like I'll keep talking I

[1:02:38] like it it feels like a TV movie much more than like a normal movie and it

[1:02:48] feels like like sort of a notion for a movie more than an actual film I would

[1:02:56] say it's bad bad with the caveat that like I still kind of enjoyed it on a

[1:03:04] certain level and you know if you have a child who you know like you could do

[1:03:11] worse like there's nothing like particularly offensive like it would

[1:03:15] distract them for a while I'm sure they wouldn't want to watch it in this modern

[1:03:19] world where there's many better children's there's I mean Paw Patrol is

[1:03:24] a stamp but anyway that's that's what I have to say about that mm-hmm yeah I

[1:03:29] mean I'd certainly give this movie I don't know a Disney to Disney's okay

[1:03:35] what's the scale so is that good or is that bad I mean it's Disney so is this

[1:03:41] Disney plus or just Disney there's no plow oh it's always plus uh I don't know

[1:03:46] I mean this is I mean this is if you're a fan of Kurt Russell and you want to

[1:03:53] I mean you're not gonna love it I'm under no illusions of that if you liked

[1:03:59] if you love to skate from LA you'll love the computer where Dennis is yeah I mean

[1:04:03] it's it's it's not particularly good I don't think there's any real reason to

[1:04:07] watch it it does yeah it feels like a this movie probably accomplishes what it

[1:04:12] set out to do which is to make something that will occupy a child for a certain

[1:04:17] amount of time so that their parents can run errands or finally have a quiet

[1:04:22] intimate moment for physical affection yeah or you know like or just take a

[1:04:28] moment to take a nip of something intoxicating so they can get through the

[1:04:32] rest of the day with this crazy kid who just needs to be occupied for a little

[1:04:36] bit of time but I will fill a Sunday afternoon time slot yeah but it is I

[1:04:41] reason it feels it really feels like a TV movie and I was hoping that it was

[1:04:46] gonna be crazier than it was every time he starts to get really silly it pulls

[1:04:51] back and probably due to budget reasons but uh yeah I don't know I don't know if

[1:04:57] it fits into our usual ratings I didn't really like it but it's not that bad but

[1:05:03] it's not like super silly fun you know mm-hmm I mean I feel like that probably

[1:05:09] falls into the bad bad but whatever I know I think you know I'm gonna go with

[1:05:13] Seward's on this one I say to Disney yeah you're right yeah

[1:05:22] we interrupt the podcast you're listening to to tell you about another

[1:05:26] podcast that's right we got this with mark and how that's correct mark this is

[1:05:32] how we do the hard work for you settling all of the meaningless arguments you

[1:05:37] have with your friends so tune in every week on the maximum fun network for we

[1:05:42] got this with mark and how and all your questions will be asked and answered

[1:05:46] you're welcome all right that's enough of that

[1:05:53] judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor judge John Hodgman ruled in my friends

[1:05:58] favor judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor I'm judge John Hodgman you're

[1:06:04] hearing the voices of real litigants real people who have submitted disputes

[1:06:08] to my internet court at the judge John Hodgman podcast I hear their cases I ask

[1:06:12] them questions they're good ones and then I tell them who's right and who's

[1:06:16] wrong thanks to judge John Hodgman's ruling my dad has been forced to retire

[1:06:20] one of the worst dad jokes of all time instead of cutting his own hair with a

[1:06:25] flow be my husband has his hair cut professionally I have to join a

[1:06:30] community theater group and my wife has stopped bringing home wild animals it's

[1:06:34] the judge John Hodgman podcast find it every Wednesday at maximum fun org or

[1:06:39] wherever you download podcasts thanks judge John Hodgman all right let's take

[1:06:51] a moment to honor our sponsors honor them take your take your hat off Elliot

[1:07:01] I should be standing right now yeah sponsored in part by Squarespace a

[1:07:09] Squarespace allows you to turn your cool idea into a new website blog or publish

[1:07:16] content sell products and services of all kinds or pretty much anything else

[1:07:22] you would desire your website to do Squarespace does this by giving you

[1:07:25] beautiful customizable templates created by world-class designers with

[1:07:31] everything optimized for mobile right out of the box a new way to buy domains

[1:07:35] and choose from over 200 extensions and free and secure hosting no you did a

[1:07:43] great job of that Dan thank you thank you very much that was wonderful you

[1:07:47] really honored them I want you to go to Squarespace comm slash flop for a free

[1:07:52] trial and when you're ready to launch use the offer code flop now save 10% off

[1:07:57] your first purchase of a website or domain sorry I didn't mean to drop there

[1:08:01] Dan I had an idea for a for a website and I was hoping I was running

[1:08:05] Squarespace could help me most likely it strikes me that this movie it opened up

[1:08:10] a world of marketing opportunities and a and a demographic that I never thought

[1:08:14] of before sure this computer were tennis shoes how often have you seen a computer

[1:08:18] with shoes on it that's a good point almost never and yet clearly the

[1:08:23] appetite is there and there's already a shoe company called Zappos and yet as

[1:08:27] far as I know it has nothing to do with somebody being zapped with electricity

[1:08:30] and be and switching places with a computer and so I think there should be

[1:08:35] a website called the real Zappos comm where we sell shoes for computers now

[1:08:39] here's your thing every time you buy a pair of shoes at the real Zappos comm

[1:08:44] we will donate a pair of shoes to a needy computer in another country here's

[1:08:50] another idea guys for a website this movie okay so Kurt Russell got a

[1:08:55] computer in his brain right it stands to reason Kurt Russell's brain is trapped

[1:08:59] in that computer right now that this was a real vice versa 18 again like father

[1:09:05] like son trading places brain switcheroo wacky Wednesday in trading places they

[1:09:10] didn't switch brains right no I think they trade the places they're in not the

[1:09:15] brains in their bodies they're not trading the place that their brain is in

[1:09:18] no I mean their brains remain in the same place okay so we got a this is a

[1:09:24] company it's called hey my brain is trapped in a computer help me calm and

[1:09:28] this website would be for people whose brains are trapped in computers they'll

[1:09:32] be easy to log on because their brain is already in a computer and they can

[1:09:35] notify us we will then notify their next of kin that their brain is trapped in a

[1:09:40] computer and then they should do something about it yeah that's it sounds

[1:09:44] pretty helpful Elliot so think of it as a way to notify the people who are

[1:09:48] important in your life that your brain is trapped in a computer that's hey my

[1:09:52] brain is trapped in a computer calm you can easily remember it because of the

[1:09:54] jingle hey where's my brain it's not in my head it's trapped in a computer calm

[1:09:58] yeah

[1:10:00] That's like a subscription service, right?

[1:10:02] Yes, very much so.

[1:10:03] It's like an insurance.

[1:10:04] So you're making sure in case your brain gets trapped in a computer, you know.

[1:10:09] You know what I'm talking about, right, Dan?

[1:10:11] In this modern world, you've got to be prepared for anything.

[1:10:14] Who knows what could happen?

[1:10:15] And it seems like everything is computers these days with the beeps and the boops and the kids with the screens and everything.

[1:10:20] So, hey, my brain is trapped in a computer.com.

[1:10:23] Again, there's that jingle that I just said.

[1:10:25] It's very memorable.

[1:10:26] Hey, where's my brain?

[1:10:27] It's not in my head.

[1:10:28] It's trapped in a computer.com.

[1:10:30] So I'm starting to regret sending the only Jumbotron we have to Elliot this week.

[1:10:37] Hey, everybody.

[1:10:38] It's Jumbotron time.

[1:10:39] Because he was talking so much just now.

[1:10:41] Stuart, is there something you want to say in between times that might give us a little breather?

[1:10:45] Yeah.

[1:10:46] Wow.

[1:10:47] Guys, I guess I have something prepared here.

[1:10:50] You don't have to.

[1:10:53] I have always wanted to have your attention for just a minute.

[1:10:59] Starting from the top, let's get going.

[1:11:05] Okay.

[1:11:06] Before I start, Dan, did you have anything you wanted to take over?

[1:11:09] Yeah.

[1:11:10] I want to say thank you to Erica, who has been worried about the fact that I always seem to be sick on the podcast.

[1:11:18] This is very of the moment.

[1:11:20] So Erica, to help my immune system, sent me some elderberry syrup that theoretically helps bolster the old immune system.

[1:11:31] And I'm supposed to take a teaspoon a day, and I'll tell you, it is delicious.

[1:11:35] Unlike most medicine, elderberry syrup is delicious, mostly because it's probably just berries and sugar.

[1:11:42] But elderberry has been used apparently for centuries in medicine.

[1:11:47] Yeah, that's why it's elder.

[1:11:48] It's very old, centuries.

[1:11:49] So I guess that's all the time I have.

[1:11:51] At late, I guess it's your time to go.

[1:11:54] Hey, everybody, it's Jumbotron time.

[1:11:56] Time for the biggest of trons.

[1:11:58] Jumbo Jumbo, the biggest size that trons come in these days.

[1:12:02] Maybe someday we'll see the fabled Ultra Jumbotron.

[1:12:06] A tron even bigger than a Jumbotron.

[1:12:09] Ultra size, ultra size, Ultra Jumbotron.

[1:12:11] Ultra Jumbotron, he is here to save the world.

[1:12:13] Monsters attack our cities, but Ultra Jumbotron is here.

[1:12:17] He's a friend to children, a friend to animals.

[1:12:19] Ultra Jumbotron, be dear.

[1:12:21] It's Ultra Jumbotron, brought to you by Fujikawa Hakkawi Industries.

[1:12:26] So our Jumbotron today.

[1:12:28] Oh, I kind of like that one.

[1:12:29] Yeah, that one's not bad.

[1:12:31] Okay, so the call to action is, hey, this is about Cellmates Podcast.

[1:12:36] I want you to find Cellmates Podcast on your podcast delivery system of choice and at cellmatespodcast.com.

[1:12:41] Let me explain.

[1:12:43] What's your favorite animated movie about a fractured relationship that's fixed by someone turning into an animal?

[1:12:49] If you have an answer, you should be listening to Cellmates Podcast.

[1:12:52] Cellmates, with one L-C-E-L, mates, is a show where hosts Kate Phillips and Dick Ward compare, contrast,

[1:12:58] and generally throw a Venn diagram over two animated movies.

[1:13:02] We tell you how the afterlife of Coco compares to that of Spirited Away.

[1:13:05] We discuss whether Stitch or the Iron Giant is the more lovable killing machine.

[1:13:09] So that's Cellmates.

[1:13:10] Find the Cellmates Podcast C-E-L, mates, on your podcast delivery system or at cellmatespodcast.com.

[1:13:17] Okay.

[1:13:18] Hey, do you hear that sound?

[1:13:20] It's the rumbling sound of a Jumbotron walking away.

[1:13:23] Jumbotron time is over, and now that Jumbotron has his own business to deal with.

[1:13:29] It's personal.

[1:13:30] It's private, and he doesn't feel the need to explain it to you.

[1:13:34] Bye, Jumbotron.

[1:13:35] I love you.

[1:13:37] I feel like we encouraged him by saying nice things about the first show.

[1:13:42] Diminishing returns.

[1:13:45] I feel like you guys get the worst of me because so for the iPodius podcast I've been recording with John Hodgman,

[1:13:52] which will hopefully be finished and released before the end of the year.

[1:13:55] Does he not have patience for your malarkey?

[1:13:58] No, no.

[1:13:59] Well, he does not, so I do less of it, but also I recently performed a song on it that I wrote ahead of time.

[1:14:04] Wow.

[1:14:05] I feel like I am betraying you guys by just giving you the off-the-top-my-head songs,

[1:14:09] whereas the song that I wrote for that one I actually sat down and wrote the lyrics the night before,

[1:14:13] and it's a parody of a real song, so it has an actual tune.

[1:14:16] Okay.

[1:14:18] Let's move on to letters from listeners like you.

[1:14:24] The first letter is from Daniel, last name withheld.

[1:14:28] McCoy.

[1:14:29] Who writes, I'd like to start blah, blah, blah, I don't know.

[1:14:33] I'll just skip the part over.

[1:14:35] No.

[1:14:39] I forgot to edit out the part where he says he likes the show, which I tried to.

[1:14:43] No, no, but you did edit it just now by saying blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1:14:48] Yada, yada, yada.

[1:14:50] It had such a dignified opening, and then immediately you were so dismissive.

[1:14:54] It's like if the president was coming out to do the State of the Union, and on the news they're like,

[1:15:00] and okay, there's the sergeant at arms, he's announcing the president.

[1:15:03] Now the president is ascending to the podium, and he is beginning to shuffle his papers,

[1:15:09] and okay, and now the State of the Union here is the president.

[1:15:13] And he's just going to say a bunch of bullshit.

[1:15:14] Let's cut away.

[1:15:16] That's what that was like.

[1:15:18] Okay, sorry.

[1:15:21] To give Daniel, last name withheld, the respect he deserves, I'll start over here.

[1:15:25] Okay.

[1:15:26] Daniel wants to know if we have experienced some form of entertainment or media that was good, bad, but wasn't a movie.

[1:15:34] Surely movies are the richest vein, but it's something I've found to be elsewhere, too.

[1:15:39] For example, the Sonic racing game, Sonic R for the Sega Saturn, is a good, bad game in my opinion,

[1:15:46] as running into walls over and over again as low-poly Sonic and listening to the cheesy soundtrack is enjoyable

[1:15:52] slash humorous, but not the same type of enjoyment you'd find in an actually great game.

[1:15:57] What are some good, bad games, music, books, or other you've experienced?

[1:16:01] Thanks for the laughs, Daniel.

[1:16:03] The first thing that came to my mind is I have a couple of copies of collections of Fletcher Hanks comics,

[1:16:10] this guy with anger problems who wrote superhero comics sort of early on in,

[1:16:18] like when superhero comics were not such a thing and people were still figuring out what they were

[1:16:22] and there was a much lower barrier to entry to write and draw them,

[1:16:27] and they're all these horrible power fantasies where one of the superheroes twists the gangsters' necks around

[1:16:38] into weird shapes or turns them into skeletons or something.

[1:16:42] Is that what Stardust the Wizard does?

[1:16:44] Yeah, basically. And like, I don't know, they're so hard to explain.

[1:16:49] They're like what someone, again with an anger problem,

[1:16:54] might draw if someone vaguely explained the notion of what superheroes are to them.

[1:17:01] Yeah.

[1:17:02] And they're not pleasurable in the normal way, but they're fascinating.

[1:17:08] Yeah, this is a hard one.

[1:17:10] I feel like movies work so well because they're such a short, finite thing that you can enjoy a dumb thing

[1:17:21] and you know it's going to be over soon.

[1:17:23] I've tried to read books that I knew were not going to be very good.

[1:17:26] I tried to read The Da Vinci Code as fast as possible once.

[1:17:32] Yeah, I mean it took far too long.

[1:17:36] And then it's tough to also like – like with music, for instance.

[1:17:43] There's stuff that – there's a lot of times where you'll start listening to something almost ironically

[1:17:48] and then pretty quickly realize, no, I actually like this dumb song

[1:17:51] or I like this song about battling wizards or whatever.

[1:17:54] So I don't really have many good answers, unfortunately.

[1:17:59] I think that's a fine stance to take.

[1:18:02] Actually, Fletcher Hanks was someone I was going to mention too.

[1:18:05] But along a similar vein, there's the mystery author Harry Stephen Keeler

[1:18:10] who was writing mostly in the 30s or so, the 20s and 30s, but I guess for a while.

[1:18:16] And one of his books, The Riddle of the Traveling Skull, was re-released by McSween a while ago.

[1:18:22] And his writing is bonkers and his mysteries make no sense.

[1:18:28] I think it's in the book X Jones of Scotland Yard that the murderer's identity is revealed in a footnote on the last page.

[1:18:39] When it turns out that the flying strangler baby that the police suspect is actually a midget disguised as a baby

[1:18:45] who has a tiny little helicopter so he doesn't leave footprints when he kills people.

[1:18:49] But he wrote such books as The Face of the Man from Saturn, The Case of the Transparent Nude,

[1:18:55] The Spectacles of Mr. Cagliostro, The Man with the Magic Eardrums.

[1:18:59] And his writing is bonkers and crazy and he wrote tons of books just like constantly.

[1:19:05] And so his writing is occasionally problematic as I'm sure much writing for that time is.

[1:19:11] I mean using the term midget is problematic.

[1:19:14] It shouldn't be a little person.

[1:19:15] That's true. It should be a little person.

[1:19:17] But his books are just crazy.

[1:19:22] All right.

[1:19:24] Moving on to a letter from George, last name withheld, who writes,

[1:19:27] Hey Peaches, what up, what up?

[1:19:29] I happen to really like the Zebra model F301 pen.

[1:19:34] It's both sleek and sturdy while still being easy on the pocketbook.

[1:19:38] Under $3. I hope this is not buzz marketing.

[1:19:41] But anyway, for these reasons and others it's a popular pen.

[1:19:44] So popular that I find I notice it being used in films and TV shows frequently

[1:19:48] and I get a little jazzed up when I see it.

[1:19:51] You all seem to write a lot.

[1:19:53] Yeah, you look down at your pen and you're like, I didn't know you were in the pictures.

[1:20:00] You all seem to write a lot. While I understand that much writing is done on computers these days, I would still be interested to hear which pens you all prefer.

[1:20:07] Just one more thing, are there any other objects that you have a particular affinity for, and thusly are pleased to see in media?

[1:20:15] Well, see you later! George's last name withheld.

[1:20:18] I like there's a type of pen called Expresso. It's like a very fine tip, just like a porous point pen.

[1:20:32] It gives you a black line that is similar to a really fine point felt tip, but it's a harder point.

[1:20:42] It does not have that felt point, and it's what I used to draw with for many years, and I still prefer to get them to write with.

[1:20:51] And as to other objects, I have some kind of retro scotch glasses that have etched squares on the side, and I remember seeing them on Mad Men and feeling very cool.

[1:21:05] Oh yeah.

[1:21:06] Yeah, you would lean over to the person you're watching Mad Men with and you're like, those are my glasses.

[1:21:14] Well, any affinity I used to have for Mortimer Ichabod pen is now gone.

[1:21:19] I'm a sucker for Bic mechanical pencils, like the multicolored clips, the little plastic ones where you just click the eraser part.

[1:21:35] Oh, and when I was making my own comics, I was always a huge fan of using crow quill pens, where you dip in the indie ink, just because it was a skill that I had to teach myself.

[1:21:49] And that when I got pretty functional, I would never say good, but when I got functional with it, I felt like this is a skill that I've learned, and now I want to practice it and use it.

[1:22:01] Yeah, those are definitely ones you have to practice on.

[1:22:04] But once you get at least somewhat adept, you can get a great variety of line, and it's good for crosshatching.

[1:22:12] So this is a very nice pen.

[1:22:14] I have no opinions about pens.

[1:22:16] So I guess when you guys start the spinoff, the ink house, it could just be the two of you, and you won't have to deal with my nonsense.

[1:22:22] Uh-huh.

[1:22:23] Okay.

[1:22:24] I feel like that we would mine a very specific niche that is probably underserved in the podcasting.

[1:22:30] I think it's funny.

[1:22:31] I'm probably an asshole, and there's probably some really good-ass calligraphy podcasts out there.

[1:22:37] I think it's funny that you're the one with the least opinion about it because you're also the one who carries a notebook around with himself and uses it most frequently to jot down notions.

[1:22:49] Well, that's the thing.

[1:22:50] I write so much with pens that I just get cheap pens.

[1:22:53] Right.

[1:22:54] I don't want to spend a lot of money on pens because I go through them so fast.

[1:22:56] I always have at least two to three pens in my pocket at any given time because people are always borrowing them and not giving them back.

[1:23:02] But I just get, like, real cheap pens that are irritating to use because I don't want to spend a lot of money on them.

[1:23:08] Interesting.

[1:23:10] Last letter from Monty, last name withheld.

[1:23:14] Python.

[1:23:15] Hello, Peaches.

[1:23:16] I recently became a high school custodian, and it has made me aware that we are typically either unseen, like in Riverdale or Buffy, or nonexistent, like when a professor goes to fix the plumbing in The Boy Next Door.

[1:23:29] The only school custodians I can think of are Groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons, Mr. Bronca from Bob's Burgers, and the, spoilers, eponymous strangler in Teenage Strangler.

[1:23:41] Do you know of other school custodians or janitors in fiction, particularly ones that actually play a role in a movie's plot?

[1:23:47] Grimeily yours, Monty, last name withheld.

[1:23:50] I'm going to open this up to all janitors or custodians.

[1:23:53] I think it would be a little hard otherwise.

[1:23:55] But the one that immediately springs to mind is the guy in The Breakfast Club who is like, hey, hey, principal, you're just an asshole.

[1:24:05] Like, these kids aren't so bad.

[1:24:06] Yeah, yeah.

[1:24:08] I mean, I was going to talk about how there's a movie about a janitor at a college and how he's a genius, and it's called Good Will Hunting, and he's the star of the movie, and he's the janitor.

[1:24:18] Wow.

[1:24:19] Stan, do you like apples?

[1:24:21] How do you like those apples?

[1:24:23] I don't actually like apples that much.

[1:24:25] I think they're usually pretty mealy.

[1:24:27] Wait, let me take that back.

[1:24:28] Forget it.

[1:24:29] What's a fruit you like, like tangerines, satsumas?

[1:24:31] I like a mango.

[1:24:33] OK, Jordan, edit all that stuff out.

[1:24:35] Let's do this part.

[1:24:36] Dan, do you like these tangerines?

[1:24:38] No, I didn't say I like tangerines.

[1:24:40] Dan, do you like mangoes?

[1:24:42] I like tangerine green.

[1:24:43] They did some good soundtrack work.

[1:24:45] Dan, do you like mangoes?

[1:24:47] Yes, I do.

[1:24:48] OK, well, I've got a Chris Kattan character I think you're going to like.

[1:24:51] No, no.

[1:24:53] And there's a – which is the movie – is it Zapped?

[1:24:58] Which is the movie where there's a janitor, and he gets high, and it doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the movie?

[1:25:03] I think that is Zapped.

[1:25:04] I think that might be like Scatman Crothers or something.

[1:25:07] Yeah, yeah.

[1:25:08] I think you're right.

[1:25:09] But if you move it beyond just school janitors, I'm going to mention my favorite janitor in any movie.

[1:25:13] That would be the robot janitor in the movie, Rotor, who – this is a movie about a crime-fighting robot that goes berserk and instead goes on a rampage.

[1:25:23] But the lab already has a robot that serves as the janitor and seems to live his own life and have a functioning AI and just be like a regular person.

[1:25:32] And he's maybe my favorite robot in the history of cinema.

[1:25:35] I've talked about him before.

[1:25:36] He's great.

[1:25:37] Yeah, I actually – I just finished playing through a video game called Control where the – this isn't a school janitor, but the bureau's janitor seems to be this like otherworldly entity that dispenses knowledge and weird side quests.

[1:25:56] So that was pretty cool.

[1:25:58] And also for a school janitor, there's that Canadian comedy TV show Todd and the Book of Pure Evil I think is what it's called where Jason Mewes plays a school janitor who's like supposed to be a super cool dude.

[1:26:14] And if it's played by Jason Mewes, you know it's true.

[1:26:17] Yep.

[1:26:19] Classic cool guy.

[1:26:22] Okay.

[1:26:23] I think we're done narrow casting to school janitors now and we can move on to the next.

[1:26:28] This is what you said after you spent a while talking about pens also.

[1:26:32] Yeah.

[1:26:33] I thought this week I was like, let's get really granular with the questions.

[1:26:36] Yeah.

[1:26:37] Let's get specific.

[1:26:39] Let's recommend movies that would probably be a better use of your time than The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes.

[1:26:46] Anyone want to go first or shall I?

[1:26:49] I'll go.

[1:26:50] I'm going to recommend another movie that's on a different streaming service than the one we watched.

[1:26:56] I am going to recommend a movie called Wounds.

[1:27:01] It's directed by Babak Anvari, the director of Under the Shadow.

[1:27:08] This is a movie where Armie Hammer plays a Nolans bartender who is a real fucking mess and he is a fuck up in his personal life.

[1:27:18] And he also finds a telephone that seems to be a portal to hell.

[1:27:26] It's a weird movie because it kind of tries to be both a horror movie and a story of this guy's life falling apart because of his own bad decisions.

[1:27:35] And it kind of succeeds at both.

[1:27:38] And there's some really creepy stuff in it.

[1:27:40] It's one of those horror movies that elicits either like a normal rating on like IMDb or whatever rating service or like a one out of ten stars.

[1:27:51] Like it's the kind of horror movie that makes some people very angry because of whatever expectations.

[1:27:58] But I thought it was fun and gross and weird.

[1:28:02] And it's got Dakota Johnson in it, Zazie Beetz, Armie Hammer as I mentioned.

[1:28:08] Those are good people.

[1:28:10] And you will consider most of them to be underused.

[1:28:16] I still liked it.

[1:28:17] Let me recommend a movie that I saw a while back, rewatched last night called A Face in the Crowd.

[1:28:26] Directed by Ilya Kazan.

[1:28:28] It's a movie about a sort of huckster character who rises to prominence through understanding how to work the media and eventually gains political power even though he's a monster.

[1:28:47] And I have no idea why that might be relevant in this modern world.

[1:28:51] But we'll move on.

[1:28:52] And it stars Andy Griffith.

[1:28:55] And if you only know Andy Griffith from The Andy Griffith Show or Matlock, you'll be surprised maybe by his performance here which is intense and frightening.

[1:29:05] While still having enough sort of like genuine charisma that you understand why people would fall under his spell.

[1:29:13] Patricia Neal is in it.

[1:29:15] She's very great as the woman who unwisely falls for him.

[1:29:21] And it also has a young and confusingly sort of handsome Walter Matthau in it.

[1:29:27] And I'm not often actually a fan of Ilya Kazan's movies.

[1:29:33] I find them to be a little stagey and slow a lot of the time.

[1:29:38] But this one, the filmmaking is more kind of jazzy and impressionistic and intense.

[1:29:44] And yeah, I like it.

[1:29:47] A Face in the Crowd.

[1:29:48] I really like it when you take an actor that you normally know doing one specific thing and see them in it.

[1:29:56] Especially when you have a character that's normally a good guy and see them do it.

[1:30:00] bad guy yeah mm-hmm I'm gonna recommend I recently took a chance to revisit the

[1:30:06] movie Candyman which should have been a Shocktober recommendation because it's a

[1:30:10] horror movie but I think it's an ever it's an it's an every time

[1:30:14] recommendation it's an all-year-round recommendation and I was like oh yeah I

[1:30:17] forgot that this movie is as good as I remember it being and so if you haven't

[1:30:21] seen it and you think is just like any other kind of slashery type movie it's

[1:30:27] not it's real atmospheric and the acting is real good in it and I would go as

[1:30:31] far as to say this is the best of the Clive Barker movies would you guys agree

[1:30:35] with me on that uh well I'm it's it's probably the I don't know I'm such a

[1:30:41] sucker for the first two hellraisers yeah but I mean but Candyman is very

[1:30:46] good I would it's it's easily on par yeah and and Candyman I think is one of

[1:30:51] the best movies best horror like it's one of the horror movies that pulls off

[1:30:55] the whole no one believes me and that being like as horrific as the the bad

[1:31:04] guy thing the best like the the lead of Virginia Madsen like really feels like

[1:31:10] she's in a trap kind of in the movie yeah they do it usually when you watch

[1:31:14] those movies you're like why don't you just tell somebody what's happening and

[1:31:16] here that is not an option and also everyone thinks that she is eventually

[1:31:20] becoming a psycho murderer so yeah and it's such a great performance from Tony

[1:31:25] Todd like what uh what a like a career-making performance yeah so it was

[1:31:31] this it's I was like oh yeah I hadn't seen this movie in a while and it was

[1:31:34] as good as I remember it so if you want to watch a horror movie then you should

[1:31:37] watch Candyman if you want to watch a movie about delicious candy and the man

[1:31:41] who makes them then maybe Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory might be more

[1:31:45] your your speed or if there's like a documentary about the Hershey's

[1:31:51] Corporation do that it is I cannot stress this enough Candyman is not

[1:31:55] actually about candy let me just say that very deceptive title yeah it's not

[1:31:59] and you should watch it now I think that's one of those like movies that's

[1:32:02] in in line to be remade so you should watch the current one and you know in

[1:32:07] preparation for a remake mm-hmm guys we did it we kept it relatively short I

[1:32:13] appreciate it my throat appreciates it yeah before we go we should say thank

[1:32:19] you to our donors who help us afloat you are by far the reason we can still do

[1:32:26] this thank you to the network who provides us a framework for that sort of

[1:32:30] thing and supports us and produces a lot of other great shows go to maximum fun

[1:32:36] org to check that out other shows tweet about us Instagram about us sure

[1:32:45] talk about us about us periscope about us if that still exists doesn't only

[1:32:51] fans about us leave a positive review on iTunes as I always say if you have

[1:32:57] negative feelings you know yeah cover that in the world I mean if you feel

[1:33:01] like you must share it I'm not gonna stop you I'm not gonna come to your

[1:33:06] house and stop you but you know it'd be nice if you said something nice about us

[1:33:10] on iTunes yeah that'd be great always and you know maybe on letterboxd is that

[1:33:15] a place you can talk about podcasts probably yeah you could stick it in the

[1:33:19] middle of like a review of something like the body of a review not the title

[1:33:23] because I couldn't be confusing because if people think it we were a movie which

[1:33:26] we're not hey guys I and I'd love to hear from from our listeners we're

[1:33:32] talking about our live shows for next year if there's a city you'd like to see

[1:33:36] us in let us know I'm promising nothing but let us know if you want us to come

[1:33:40] by maybe we will all right so that's all for this time put Dan to bed next time I

[1:33:49] want to tease next time our 300th episode which also happens to land on

[1:33:56] cage miss so it's the conjunction of the planets as was fabulously as was

[1:34:01] foreseen fabled as foreseen in the prophecy the prophecy that stated that

[1:34:05] after 300 episodes we would continue doing this did your did your granny tell

[1:34:10] you that my prophecy you know my my grandmama always told me 300 episodes

[1:34:16] would fall on cage miss and at the time I didn't know what any of that meant but

[1:34:22] now you were right grandmama you were right and that's when the demons came in

[1:34:28] cut to 5,000 years in the future awesome all right well thank you for listening as

[1:34:34] always for the flop house I've been Dan McCoy I'm still Stuart Wellington and

[1:34:39] I'm Elliot Kalin now feeling like I picked up Dan sickness over the internet

[1:34:43] is that possible yeah yeah I mean I think it's the premise of this horror

[1:34:48] script I'm writing the sickness is strong in the Elliot goodbye everyone

[1:35:03] streaming on Disney plus or is it Disney minus

[1:35:13] okay so you just heard the snarf at the end there yeah I think Elliot's is

[1:35:18] better I don't know maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience

[1:35:26] supported

Ep. #299 - The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes

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