Ep. #305 - Little Italy

[0:00] On this episode we discuss Little Italy

[0:04] Good thing I watched this movie. I almost forgot about it

[0:13] Okay

[0:30] You

[0:40] Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Oh, hey guys, I'm Stuart Wellington and hey

[0:47] It's Elliot Kalin. I was gonna be real big and then Stuart came in kind of quiet and contemplative and kind of low

[0:53] That's kind of love you're matching his energy. Yeah, I got it. I'm what they call me the energy matcher

[0:59] Uh-huh. Is that is that the improv character? We're gonna start doing around

[1:05] He's the guy who matches whatever energy he's around but oh that means if you lock him in a door in a room with like

[1:11] I don't know Josh Gad. He's gonna be off the walls. Oh, no, you put him in a room with

[1:18] Who's real low energy?

[1:20] Yes

[1:24] They're finally collaborating, yeah

[1:27] so hey guys, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it and and

[1:33] We did a contest a while back. Yeah

[1:36] Winners. Yep. That's the right verb. We did a contest

[1:40] And so did we enter the contest?

[1:44] No, okay. We held the contest. Oh, okay for designers to design new merch for us

[1:50] It was a it was a contest just to put into context for the listeners contest contest

[1:55] It's a similar similar to like if you were to go to say

[1:59] an Italian

[2:01] Cultural festival and there's a contest as to who makes the best pizza. We did something like that. But instead of pizza it was about

[2:08] podcast related merchandise

[2:10] Yeah

[2:12] Context it was very useful

[2:13] And the prize the prize for the contest was you get to pick the movie. We're gonna watch and talk about

[2:20] Mm-hmm. Let me explain the part of the contest that is most applicable to the information. We need to provide to the lister

[2:25] Dan's just deleting emails, right? No

[2:28] I'm trying to find so the I'm the guy who selected this movie gave us a little information about

[2:37] You know how to and Dan I assume as a podcasting professional you have that queued up ahead of time

[2:42] I do I well I did have it queued up but then he has a

[2:46] Unusual last name that I did ask him how to pronounce it. I was trying to find the

[2:51] The email where he explained that but I have it. His name is Scott yakashin. Mm-hmm, and

[2:58] He picked a movie called little Italy little Italy

[3:03] As my grandmother would pronounce it little Italy

[3:05] I'm over pronouncing it because as Audrey pointed out not since the world juror has a

[3:10] Has a movie name hard to pronounce if you kind of do it quickly, so

[3:16] Although everyone in the movie pronounces it. Yeah, they do like sort of a little Italy. So yes, I mean the

[3:24] There's a wide variety of Italian accents. Yes from boy real to comically

[3:32] Overdone. Yeah, and it's a comically underdone like this is we'll talk about it

[3:37] But this is maybe considering it's a movie about little Italy with it two families that own pizzerias

[3:43] two families

[3:45] United in pizza equal in esteem. It's maybe the least Italian movie

[3:49] I've ever seen like the Irishman felt more Italian than this movie

[3:52] I mean not every Italian person has like a comic opera accent

[3:59] Places come on. I mean no matter what Andrea Martin will have you believe they don't

[4:07] Andrea Martin, man, what a treasure. I mean, she's great. She's

[4:12] Vastly over playing this role, but I I think I see I would say the opposite

[4:17] I think partly because it makes sense that this is the this is the little Italy of Toronto

[4:22] Which is probably a little bit less over the top than the little Italy

[4:26] I'm used to which is the tri-state area of the United States little Italy, you know downtown Manhattan or New Jersey where?

[4:33] Everyone is trying to outdo themselves and how crazily cartoonish they can sound in real life

[4:38] Yes, but let's I want to read what Scott had to say about this movie

[4:42] He said how do you do floppers?

[4:44] I first came across this movie when me and my partner were holed up in a hotel one frigid Chicago night

[4:51] Scrolling through the still in theater section. We were baffled to find little Italy a film that we were both fairly certain was not

[4:59] Still in theaters nor had it ever been in any theater was the television receiving broadcast from another dimension

[5:05] One where Hayden Christensen had jet black hair. We decided to shell out these sensible

[5:11] 1895 I don't know about that and quickly discovered that the movie did come from an alternate universe of sorts a world of ketchup potato chips

[5:19] And public health care known as Canada. Ah

[5:22] Yep

[5:22] As we watched I realized that this brand of tomato sauce flecked with maple syrup cinema would be perfect fodder for three Frank

[5:28] D'Angelo devotees such as yourselves. Although as far as I know the Sicilian vampire fails to make a cameo appearance

[5:35] I sure hope you guys enjoy this movie from the great right north or at the very least

[5:39] I hope it provides an opportunity for Elliot to make a that's a more a

[5:44] fun at some point in the podcast

[5:47] And I did want to say I forgot to mention the particular piece of merch that Scott Jackson did for us

[5:52] It's a the poster of us all sort of Big Daddy Roth style watching a movie. Oh cool. Yeah

[5:59] Well this I'm just gonna get this started right away guys

[6:04] This contest has yielded some delicious fruits like tomatoes

[6:11] We are going to jump directly into a little Italy and you know

[6:16] Just right off the bat guys. I love it when a movie opens

[6:20] With the like central theme of what the movies about it's like in what is that five million miles to Graceland?

[6:27] The movie about battling Elvis's yeah five million miles to Graceland

[6:32] Where the movie opens with

[6:40] The emir is coming to earth

[6:42] Elvis I mean Venetians aren't necessarily aliens if they're on Venus, but we'll get to that later

[6:48] See so but that movie opens with you know, it's a movie about two battling Elvis

[6:53] So the movie opens with two CGI scorpions battling in the desert and I feel like this movie opens this movie opens with a

[7:01] eggplant and a tomato

[7:03] Exploding on in an Italian man's face

[7:05] Which kind of shows how like two great Italian flavors are more delicious when put together

[7:10] And now do you think the eggplant as with emojis represents the male penis and the tomato represents the female genitalia?

[7:17] Certainly that is it is just an introduction to exactly how horny this movie is which is off the charts

[7:24] Very Oh before we get into the play. How many Rontgen's of horniness does this movie have?

[7:30] Well, the meter says 3.5 or whatever

[7:34] Highs the meter goes only goes that high

[7:37] It's gonna take you're gonna have to get an a West German robot to try to defuse this

[7:44] The horniness killed the robot already

[7:47] So I want to mention this movie comes from the Petri or Petri Canadian American filmmaking dynasty

[7:57] It is a Petri dish of various flavors, yeah, it's that no, you know shouldn't eat out of a Petri dish

[8:06] Don't eat the pen you don't eat penicillin just out of a dish like

[8:11] Why I don't have because what it use a spoon a fork

[8:17] Penicillin was discovered when dr. Jonas Salk saw some yummy-looking mold in his Petri dish and just scooped it up with his bear claws

[8:25] And just shoveled into his mouth and he said, oh, I don't have polio anymore

[8:28] So, okay

[8:29] It is directed by Donald Petrie who also directed mystic pizza and grumpy old man and in my research. I found his dad reality

[8:37] What I think also miss congeniality. Yeah, miss congeniality

[8:40] His dad directed a raisin in the Sun and Ford Apache the Bronx his brother

[8:44] That's his dad Daniel Petrie his brother Daniel Petrie jr. Wrote Beverly Hills Cop and Turner and hooch his mother

[8:50] Dorothea Petrie was a film producer and his sister

[8:53] Mary Petrie is an actress and she was in the hidden and his other sister June Petrie is a movie producers

[8:59] This is a major

[9:00] movie family dynasty that I had never heard of even though they apparently received an AFI award for being a family that makes movies

[9:07] All of them. Yeah, that sounds great

[9:10] That's some excellent background Elliot, so the movie opens on two little kids just hanging out being best friends now

[9:17] I'll introduce to Leo and Nicky. Yes, Dan

[9:19] I want to I know I'm jumping in here

[9:20] But I just want to say these two little kids will grow up to be Emma Roberts and Hayden Christensen

[9:25] Uh-huh. Yep, Hayden Christensen who is a full decade older than Emma Roberts, but they're gonna be about the same age at the time

[9:33] But well, I mean, that's that's the that's the that's part of the problem with

[9:38] You know like the entertainment industry where they've kind of normalized the idea tan that you know, these much older men

[9:44] Roughly the same age as young women so that when you bump into like 20 year old couples where they're both 20 years old

[9:50] You're like, who's this little boy?

[9:54] Son to the to the pizzeria, I feel like yes, I feel like while parents

[10:00] bring an older man with the other woman in movies is a very real issue this is a

[10:03] thing for a different issue i think that's trying to make us believe that

[10:07] hayden christianson and then roberts of the same age that is a what's like it's

[10:10] like watching hobbs and shaw movie that posits uh... that uh...

[10:16] you know what jason statham and the

[10:18] amazing actors whose name has slipped out of my head

[10:21] uh... who plays his sister meryl street

[10:23] yes i think it is meryl street belly and uh... i'm just going to go out on a

[10:27] guess that's a rebecca ferguson it is not a rebecca ferguson unna o'connor

[10:31] nope uh... nope let's not just go down a list of actress names betty davis i've

[10:36] already made my guess i already said meryl street

[10:38] okay uh... but they've they suggest that these two are uh... that are like

[10:43] basically exactly the same age and i'm like

[10:45] well jason statham's fifty

[10:47] and imdb does not list this actress's age but i'm assuming it's not fifty

[10:51] it's uh... vanessa kirby by the way she was also in a mission impossible movie which is

[10:56] probably why i was confusing

[10:57] i think dan the bigger issue yeah you get partial credit i guess yeah yeah

[11:01] the bigger issue when you just said mission impossible as if that was her

[11:04] name

[11:04] no

[11:06] the way the way an old person you were not paying attention to what happened

[11:10] i think dan the issue for me was less that hayden christensen is clearly much

[11:13] older than her and more the fact that we're supposed to believe that two of

[11:16] them are italian

[11:17] well hayden christensen i looked up

[11:20] he actually has some italian in his background emma roberts

[11:23] has none and it should well i mean she is the daughter of eric roberts who was

[11:28] in pope of greenwich village and at least one batman movie

[11:33] i guess that's true he plays a lot of italian people

[11:36] and hayden christensen as you can tell from his name is the son of jesus christ

[11:39] who many italians worship so yeah i guess okay check this out

[11:43] that just reminded me about how in batman begins tom wilkinson has the

[11:48] best italian accent as a mob boss

[11:52] uh... man that rules okay

[11:54] uh... so you were introduced to these two kids uh... their best friends there's

[11:58] also definitely some romantic interest

[12:01] nikki clearly has a crush on leo

[12:03] and both of their parents uh... both their fathers own a pizzeria the best

[12:08] pizzeria in all of little italy toronto

[12:11] uh... called pizza napoli

[12:14] uh... and one thing i'm before we get further in the plot i just want to say i

[12:18] love how this movie is very unabashedly set in toronto

[12:24] like there are canadian flags everywhere there's air canada product placement

[12:28] that's great

[12:29] uh... so flash-forward

[12:31] nikki is now all grown up

[12:33] in culinary school in london

[12:35] don't miss a fucking super important point yes you did dads are prepping for

[12:41] the big pizza contest that doesn't fucking matter it doesn't look as you

[12:45] wouldn't a second because they're

[12:47] the whole right out by that and also

[12:49] i would say andrea martinez the grandmother she tells nikki

[12:51] never squeeze the love of a man's heart

[12:54] you what you squeeze in those tomatoes you got your squeeze them so there's

[12:56] none left in a but never squeeze a man's heart that way

[12:59] yeah i i like i like the second one because

[13:02] because it's a funny quote but i have to agree with the story that that there is

[13:05] no reason to backtrack for a the whole movie is about a lot of point that we

[13:09] will bring up a later on elliot was hoping that i would mention the pizza

[13:12] contest but not mention that there's going to be results

[13:15] uh... so that people are sitting on the edge of their seat for the rest of my

[13:18] pocket lots of thank you know that there will be a little like some suspense

[13:21] like obviously they're going to win because they're the best

[13:25] there's a whole movie so i don't know what's going to happen

[13:28] so uh...

[13:29] nikki is now in london uh... she's working for jane seymour who is this

[13:33] like evil gordon ramsay

[13:36] type uh... chef character and obviously it's jane seymour

[13:39] she's great

[13:40] await i had a question for you dan and this is so

[13:43] nikki says something about i was actually learning to cook like for

[13:46] michelin stars cook i thought michelin stars only went up to three

[13:49] uh...

[13:51] yes i think that

[13:54] was true i think maybe recently they added another person uh... let me look

[13:58] that way inflation i say okay well i just think you know that better than me

[14:01] because you like mister cook

[14:03] you're like a i've got to make a pizza pie in my house maybe she's showing like

[14:07] uh... cultural tendency for hyperbole elliot uh... okay i believe that okay

[14:13] so and now we introduce like one of the major challenges of the movie

[14:17] uh... because jane seymour offers once again jane seymour's playing a character

[14:21] it's not jane seymour the actress

[14:23] she offers nikki the opportunity to compete

[14:27] to write a menu for her brand new hot restaurant

[14:31] the only problem is she has to get this menu done and then she has to change her

[14:35] student visa to a work visa

[14:37] so she's gonna have to go back to toronto

[14:39] for a brief time

[14:40] only to return to london

[14:42] so she's gonna have to go back and see her family

[14:44] and that's not a problem elliot

[14:47] that's a problem because there's some bad blood

[14:49] going an unfinished business between her family and leo could this be related to

[14:54] that pizza contest you were so

[14:56] fuckin hot for maybe it's entirely about the pizza contest

[15:02] uh... i'm not nobody right you're right stewart i would be mentioning the

[15:05] exploding eggplant

[15:06] it's much more on point

[15:08] i mean the pizza contest that is literally the pivotal

[15:11] thing in the entire movie it's not like we weren't doing it to the goddamn pizza contest

[15:15] it was a carefully crafted joke that i spent the whole time in the cab coming up with

[15:20] and i was like which angle should i go with also i confirm that you're correct that

[15:24] there's still only three michelin stars you can get so maybe she's saying like

[15:27] i'm gonna be so good they'll give me a fourth star but it comes off as

[15:30] it's so casually said that i was like does the movie not know how many stars

[15:33] did they not do that amount of research

[15:36] uh... so yeah now this introduces that the the families are now at war

[15:40] their fathers vince and sal have separated and they have opened up their

[15:45] own separate pizza parlors

[15:47] uh...

[15:48] and how do they how do they show us visually that the dads are older than

[15:52] they were in the old scenes

[15:54] uh... they don't have beards anymore is that it?

[15:56] one of them has shaved his mustache and i was like no no when you get older you're

[16:00] supposed to grow a beard

[16:01] you don't he looks younger

[16:04] yeah i guess you're right you do look younger when you don't have facial hair

[16:08] unless you're lance hendrickson i bet lance hendrickson if he grows a beard

[16:11] you're like who's this twenty-year-old stud? yeah probably that's because he

[16:14] covers up all those pumpkin head scars yeah

[16:17] that's how he got them

[16:20] uh... okay so uh... we also we're also reintroduced to leo at this point now

[16:25] played by hayden christensen

[16:27] uh... he's used to playing a character who was earlier introduced as a young

[16:31] boy and is now a grown up man

[16:35] and he uh... hayden christensen

[16:38] we're going to need to have a grown up play character who was once a young person once a kid

[16:42] get me hayden christensen yeah we all remember young shattered glass

[16:47] yeah where he's like a little reporter

[16:51] uh... a boy reporter like tin tin

[16:53] so does tin tin just make stuff up is that what tin tin is about?

[16:57] yeah

[16:58] uh... that's why

[17:00] that's why all those old tin tin comics were kinda racist

[17:04] because tin tin himself was kinda racist that's the sad part that's the sad thing that they never tell you

[17:08] so the real issue was not the

[17:11] making the fantabulizing it was the it was the racism

[17:15] yeah uh... so at this point leo has been introduced uh... introduces played by

[17:20] hayden christensen you're probably wondering yes he does at some points have

[17:24] longer spiky hair and at other points have shorter flat hair i don't know why

[17:29] this is it could be because he's wearing a scooter helmet because he rides a scooter

[17:33] so he's a real casanova all the ladies love him

[17:36] we're also introduced to

[17:38] uh... some additional side characters that work in the pizzerias

[17:42] uh... both pizzerias employ a character of asian descent

[17:45] and yes you're wondering yes they're also kind of racist toward those

[17:48] characters the uh... specifically the indian subcontinent because there's

[17:51] another asian character who's of chinese ethnicity later

[17:54] and and this movie makes some jokes that like even if

[17:58] i feel like if hank azaria was watching he'd be like woof i'm off the hook now

[18:02] well especially because the chinese uh... guy is also gay and that is shown by him

[18:09] later on harassing

[18:10] hayden christensen a little bit i mean they're buddies so like

[18:14] hayden christensen seems cool with it but uh... it took that as playful joshing

[18:18] i mean hayden christensen does get harassed

[18:20] by that policewoman later on in a scene i found genuinely very disturbing and

[18:24] uncomfortable

[18:25] we'll get to that

[18:26] we'll get to it

[18:27] the part where she is openly groping him in front of everybody and

[18:31] describing his penis and stuff like that like that's not funny

[18:35] it was horrifying and it went on forever and it was the thing was it came right

[18:39] after a scene that was also horrifyingly sexual because this movie is as i

[18:43] mentioned

[18:44] horny in scary ways i will say like i was like

[18:48] i wasn't i wasn't comfortable with that scene because if it was a woman

[18:51] it would be

[18:53] totally unacceptable the movie thinks it can get away with it because it's a woman

[18:56] groping a guy

[18:57] that scene exists with a woman and a man it's from bad lieutenant port of call

[19:01] new orleans that's how terrifying it is

[19:03] but i have to admit that like if it was the woman the actress i found very funny

[19:08] even while thinking like this should not be yeah i mean she didn't write the scene

[19:12] probably i'm guessing there's a lot of improv in that scene

[19:16] but okay so the dads they have two competing pizza places because they

[19:20] broke up for unknown reasons after the pizza contest and by breaking up both of

[19:24] them are suffering financially and in some ways with their own role in with

[19:28] their family familial relationships we learned that the wives

[19:31] played by elissa milano who brings

[19:34] actually brings a certain gravitas of this uh... movie i kinda like her

[19:37] performance

[19:39] and i don't remember the actress who plays uh... vince's wife but they're

[19:42] still friends they're like look at us

[19:44] they're secretly uh... they're like secretly colluding in like

[19:48] trying to find ways to get their uh... idiot husbands to make amends

[19:52] hiding wine glasses in in in potted plants so they can talk to each other

[19:58] love it love it that's uh... that looks like that

[20:00] so i believe that's when the cash

[20:02] who is that uh... that role and she's a uh... second city alone she's been a

[20:05] bunch of tv shows up

[20:07] and we we also uh... we also and this

[20:10] this is a another plot line that will develop over the course of the movie we

[20:13] also learned that

[20:14] the uh... the the grandparents no no and no now

[20:18] right that's what they call grandparents

[20:19] yes

[20:20] played by a grandma

[20:22] and you know is grandpa because grandpa's love that's on those no no

[20:25] no no no no no no no no no no no not a lot

[20:29] yeah uh... so uh... grandpa's played by a dvd hello and uh... no final film role

[20:35] is it

[20:35] yeah yet he did he died after making this movie and i did i a l

[20:39] i a l l hello has never seemed less italian to me than in this movie

[20:43] yeah well cuz they parent with and andrea martin who's life

[20:46] him on all about it up and i think i would

[20:51] yeah it's almost like uh... people like notice actually stage performance

[20:54] there's no cameras here

[20:57] uh...

[20:58] so

[20:59] and yes so they're it turns out that they're also secretly having an affair

[21:03] that will develop over time

[21:05] and affairs in like an actual romance they're not married to anyone else

[21:08] uh... no but nona did promise her dead husband she would

[21:11] never marry again which is

[21:13] a real hurdle to get over

[21:15] and uh... shitty thing for

[21:17] i don't know whether the husband demanded it or whether she

[21:20] uh... i think more that she may be more that she she value

[21:24] thanks for saying no no by the way

[21:26] uh... so we also find out that because of those financial problems uh... leo

[21:32] can't just work at the at his family's pizzeria he also works

[21:35] at the bar that he lives above that's right luigi's bar

[21:39] uh...

[21:40] tell me about luigi

[21:41] so luigi is play is a uh... is a chinese man uh... who comedically is called

[21:48] luigi and wears italians he has uh... like an affected italian accent he wears

[21:52] a lot of chains

[21:54] i think he has a uh... belt that says italian on it

[21:57] uh... and he runs this like

[21:59] fun dive bar so fun in fact that

[22:02] at one point the entire bar just

[22:04] goes outside to play a soccer game and pour shots at each other's mouth with no

[22:08] money being exchanged

[22:10] uh... i don't know if it was that the parts to where you're watching you're

[22:13] going to

[22:15] yeah

[22:16] yeah i was like flipping the table over and tearing out my hair and charlie's

[22:20] like it's just a movie and i'm like it feels so real

[22:24] so uh...

[22:26] uh... leo goes to work

[22:28] nikki arrives from uh... arrives from london she's picked up by her friends

[22:33] uh... her friends take her she's like i can't see my parents yet i need a drink

[22:36] so they all go out to luigi's bar that's the local bar

[22:40] and of course they run into leo who is as we at this point understand

[22:44] very hot

[22:45] every woman wants him every man wants him he's amazing

[22:49] uh... he's hotter than a fresh slice of pizza right out of the oven

[22:53] and they are immediately making super horny flirtation he pulls a soccer ball

[22:59] out and you're like what are they going to do with this soccer ball well the

[23:02] thing is that leo and nikki have this long history of playing soccer so of

[23:06] course you know

[23:07] they go outside in the rain they get all super wet do a bunch of shots yeah we

[23:12] have this romantic scene

[23:14] leo kicking soccer balls at nikki over and over it is pouring outside by the

[23:20] way it's like a monsoon in toronto

[23:23] you know maybe i would believe that these two flirtatious like competitive

[23:28] characters would go out and do this in the pouring rain but there's a huge

[23:31] crowd out there watching them too

[23:33] many without umbrellas and i found that

[23:36] crazy also it's clearly astroturf based on the way the water is pooling beneath

[23:41] oh wow, burn gloves, write that one in. public park burn from dan mccoy

[23:47] so of course at this point you know they they have this great scene super

[23:50] romantic they both get wasted but of course before they can kiss

[23:54] nikki passes out drunk in the rain on leo's lap

[23:59] flash forward to the next morning flash forward to the next morning she's dead

[24:02] he left her there with her mouth open she drowned

[24:06] in a pool of water on astroturf

[24:11] so she wakes up naked in a strange bed and then of course where we see that

[24:16] luigi is pulling on his undershorts

[24:19] he makes her briefly believe that they had slept together and then he's like no

[24:23] just kidding and then leo comes in and does the same thing and i'm like what

[24:27] the fuck dudes like it's not funny to like to infer that you sexually assaulted

[24:34] somebody and then there's a lot of like close talking in this bedroom that also

[24:39] amplifies that like threat of sexual violence it's really weird to me

[24:43] yeah so that I was kind of put off so I don't actually remember what happened at

[24:47] the well they're kind of talking to each other about she said she thinks they

[24:50] slept together he goes no no you didn't I just put you to bed in your dress and

[24:53] I don't know what happened after that and she they talk to each other

[24:56] I mean like he took the clothes off but only because like she was soaking wet

[24:59] from the fucking monsoon

[25:01] I think I think she's he said she took off and yeah he says I put you into bed

[25:06] clothes what happened after that I don't know she probably took them off in the

[25:10] middle of the night she but they talk to each other it's one of those

[25:12] conversations you see in a romantic comedy where it's like we can't be

[25:15] together we're from two different worlds like we just don't have a common and

[25:19] it's like you're from the same world like your dad's were in business

[25:22] together you're both in the same business like yeah I mean she's a

[25:26] railroad places and he's stuck in stuck in a little Italy

[25:30] no yeah that's true I guess that's it but I guess I wish they had said that

[25:34] yeah I mean as addressed later on the movie it's called little Italy because

[25:37] it never changes something I don't quite understand but I think it's applicable

[25:41] it doesn't like I wish it was it's it reminded me of the line in the movie

[25:46] heist when David DeVito goes of course you need money everybody needs it that's

[25:51] why they call it money and it's like that doesn't make any sense it sounds

[25:54] like it makes sense which is like that's what they call the little Italy because

[25:57] nothing ever changes it's like wait so are you saying little things don't

[26:00] change or Italy doesn't change because little things often change they grow

[26:04] into bigger things children small cats small elephants

[26:08] Hayden Christensen yeah Hayden Christensen exactly whereas Italy has

[26:12] also seen a number of changes over its period from the kind of separate

[26:16] disputed states that were the case for well let's go back all the way to the

[26:19] ancient era of Rome yeah to the to the different occupied states of the 18th

[26:25] and early 19th centuries to the unified Italy that we know today which itself

[26:29] went through the changes of the fascist governments and current democratic

[26:32] governments so I would say to you Emma Roberts aka Nikki Angioli Italy has

[26:37] changed quite a bit and if you're not okay with accepting that then maybe you

[26:41] shouldn't be Italian oh you're not Italian Emma Roberts I'm so sorry I

[26:44] apologize yeah I mean little Italy is a little bit like a teenager that

[26:49] transforms into a car and then transforms back into a teenager and both

[26:52] times you're like this is kind of sexy you talk about the Wraith I was talking

[26:59] about turbo teen but so now so we get some stuff where the two pizzerias are

[27:06] the two owners of pizzerias are playing pranks on each other and by pranks I

[27:11] mean at one point I guess they had called what the they'd like they called

[27:18] the IRS or the Canadian equivalent claiming the other performed tax evasion

[27:23] I think it's called the IRA I mean that would be funny except for it evokes

[27:32] Irish terrorism making a political stand on this podcast so we say it's

[27:40] terrorism sure well that's very brave you Dan yeah do we should we take a

[27:45] moment to just think about it or again I notice you've got a number of different

[27:49] colored ribbons on your jacket can you tell us about some of those the audience

[27:52] can't see them it's weird that you would wear them for a podcast recording but

[27:55] just tell us what they stand for I just like ribbons but I like looking like a

[28:01] present mm-hmm or like an ultimate warrior isn't that the ultimate present

[28:07] the ultimate warrior yeah but what's this current prank which the current

[28:12] prank is that Sal has Sal has switched out he has spiked Vince's oregano stash

[28:20] with a different kind of stash entirely that's right he swaps out the oregano

[28:24] with marijuana a thing that looks very similar but smells fairly well and also

[28:29] this movie was clearly made by someone who has never smoked or eaten marijuana

[28:35] because the reaction is like people are dancing on tables and going nuts and

[28:40] getting super horny yeah this this old lady is dancing on a table and she's

[28:44] super turned on by the way I know she drags Joji up on this on the table and

[28:49] he is also horny but I think he was horny before I don't think he had any

[28:53] pizza at all oh god let me say a thing okay sorry Dan Stuart and I are having a

[28:58] conversation here but I know you need to say your thing well you god damn people

[29:02] cover me up all the time Jesus Elliot I know that sauce with some

[29:08] delicious mozzarella I know that you do not partake of the marijuana but it it

[29:14] will often make you a little horny what it will not do is make you want to dance

[29:20] it is well known for making you want to lie on the couch that's and watch

[29:23] television when I'm around people and they're smoking marijuana usually they

[29:27] fall asleep yeah so or they or they start talking about nonsense that I

[29:31] don't need to know about and I get out of there and I go save it for your

[29:34] podcast buddy and then they have a podcast called Dan in high life and it's

[29:39] where Dan just gets high and talks about whatever yeah so actually sounds pretty

[29:43] good why didn't you actually I don't know that what you should do that ten

[29:46] years ago sure okay I need a I need a more regular supplier of weed all right

[29:53] I'll get it for you so in so in researching this movie I noticed that on

[29:57] the IMDb trivia they mentioned that even

[30:00] This is so that we know the movie is not out of date.

[30:02] Even though marijuana use was legalized in Canada

[30:05] 10 months after this movie was released,

[30:07] you would still need to buy that pot-infused pizza

[30:10] from a government store.

[30:12] So the scene still works, everybody.

[30:14] Yeah, I mean, I also don't-

[30:15] Don't write into the makers of Little Italy

[30:17] and say this is out of date and it dates the movie.

[30:18] It still works.

[30:19] I mean, I assumed if it was, even if it was legal,

[30:22] you can't spike somebody's stuff with a drug, right?

[30:26] It's still illegal to give drugs to somebody

[30:27] without their knowledge, yes.

[30:29] No matter how legal a drug is,

[30:30] I think that's always illegal.

[30:31] Okay, so we're also introduced to,

[30:34] there's a slight, this really isn't a complication.

[30:36] I just want to bring attention to a new character,

[30:38] Lisa the flight attendant,

[30:39] who shows up mainly to make it seem like

[30:41] Emma Roberts is not attractive,

[30:44] as she is a paramour of Leo's.

[30:48] But obviously she doesn't matter to him.

[30:50] And she never appears in the movie again.

[30:52] Yeah, she never appears again.

[30:53] This is exclusively to restate that Leo is hot

[30:58] and also to suggest that airplanes

[31:00] may play a part later on in the movie.

[31:02] But we'll get to that.

[31:04] Now, and so I don't want to gloss over the scene

[31:06] that we mentioned before.

[31:07] After the pizza is spiked is where we get the moment

[31:10] where a lady cop is basically groping Leo to,

[31:16] she's searching his body for, I don't know,

[31:18] a weapon, I don't understand.

[31:19] And she's just grabbing him everywhere and commenting on it.

[31:22] And again, the purpose of this is to remind the audience

[31:24] that Leo is supposed to be some hunk of man.

[31:28] And it's gross and super uncomfortable.

[31:31] Yeah, it's really good.

[31:32] She's literally like squeezing his butt

[31:33] and talking about how hard it is to everybody.

[31:35] And there's a crowd of people that are watching.

[31:37] And I was like, this is like something out of like

[31:39] the 120 days of Sodom.

[31:40] So it's so horrifying to me that the amount of powerlessness

[31:44] that he has in that moment,

[31:45] and that he's on display while it's happening.

[31:47] It's like, it made me think that this was like a,

[31:51] you know, the movie White Man's Burden,

[31:52] where they're like, what if white people

[31:54] were like black people?

[31:56] It was like, this is out of some movie where they're like,

[31:57] what if men were treated the way men treat women?

[32:00] I think it would go like this.

[32:01] It just, it feels wrong in this movie,

[32:03] I guess is what I'm saying.

[32:06] But yeah, so it, but I think it also like,

[32:09] it's another moment where the just general feeling

[32:12] of horniness, like kind of bleeds into the,

[32:15] like the main narrative here.

[32:16] I mean, Toronto has, it has one horniest city in Canada

[32:19] for I think 70 years running.

[32:21] Oh, oh wow.

[32:24] Yeah, but I think, I think, what is it?

[32:27] Montreal has got to be the horniest.

[32:29] Well, but Montreal doesn't consider itself Canadian.

[32:31] Let's not stick our feet in that landmine, okay Dan?

[32:33] Although, the place where corner gas happens

[32:36] is pretty horny, but oh man.

[32:39] Guys, you know what?

[32:40] I think Canada might be having sex.

[32:43] Oh wow.

[32:44] Canadians right in, tell us, are you?

[32:48] Are you doing it?

[32:48] This is just right in.

[32:50] I think you guys are opening a can of worms

[32:52] you do not want.

[32:53] Right, right to the flop house care of real life Mountie.

[32:59] And just tell us, are you doing it?

[33:00] Canada, we want to know.

[33:03] So yeah, we get some more comedic scenes.

[33:04] We get a scene where the two fathers,

[33:07] Sal and Vince, continue their tradition

[33:09] of having this like kind of celebrity roast battle

[33:13] where they go to Luigi's and make fun of each other

[33:15] until one of them gets mad and stands up.

[33:19] We have a scene where Nono and Nona are sneaking around

[33:25] and have to meet up at a Starbucks

[33:26] because nobody will see them there.

[33:28] And then they both have what, like a macchiato

[33:31] or whatever for the first time and they become addicts.

[33:34] It's such a weird moment where they're both

[33:35] kind of orgasming over how good they think

[33:38] the coffee at Starbucks is.

[33:40] It was a strange moment in the movie.

[33:42] And then there's like a garden party

[33:44] where it's held like Nikki's friend is hosting

[33:48] and they're trying to continue,

[33:50] Nikki's mother played once again by Alyssa Milano,

[33:54] who's great, is trying to set Nikki up with a husband

[33:57] because here's the thing,

[33:59] Nikki knows that she is not planning on staying in Toronto.

[34:03] She's just there to get her work visa

[34:06] and then she's going back to London.

[34:07] I'm not going to say that she is as big of a coward

[34:11] as the boyfriend in Midsommar,

[34:13] but I feel like if she had just come out

[34:16] and told these people that she is worried

[34:17] about making feel bad,

[34:19] we wouldn't have all these problems, right guys?

[34:22] Wait, making who feel bad?

[34:24] Her parents.

[34:24] She doesn't want to tell her parents

[34:26] and theoretically Leo.

[34:28] But we all come to those moments

[34:31] where we want to spare people the heartbreak,

[34:33] but in turn, we're just kind of like,

[34:35] we're behaving cowardly.

[34:36] You know what I mean?

[34:37] Yeah.

[34:38] Have we gotten to the point yet

[34:39] where they hang out and eat pizza?

[34:42] We're about to get there.

[34:44] I want to briefly mention the fellow Mark Anthony

[34:46] that they tried to set her up with

[34:48] who visibly grabs his crotch

[34:51] and then starts sniffing her cast off high heeled shoe.

[34:55] Yeah.

[34:56] And he's also a mortician.

[34:57] Oh yeah.

[34:58] And in this movie, finally,

[35:01] we've had a flop house movie

[35:02] that had bloops during the credits,

[35:03] but in the bloops,

[35:04] they have him talking and he goes,

[35:05] you know, they're not just bodies.

[35:06] They're kind of my friends,

[35:07] friends with benefits, you know?

[35:08] And it's like,

[35:09] they did not need to make this character

[35:12] as undateable as possible.

[35:15] Like, there are certain points in the movie

[35:17] where they're like,

[35:18] let's go way overboard

[35:18] and have a character that is so cartoony,

[35:20] he becomes sinister.

[35:21] I did laugh at that bloop though.

[35:23] Do you think that they like had a collection of scenes,

[35:29] almost a triptych of scenes

[35:30] of her meeting three different guys

[35:32] that all had a fetish or a thing

[35:34] that she was not interested in.

[35:36] And they're like, too much time.

[35:38] Combine them all into one guy,

[35:40] has a foot fetish

[35:42] and also probably has necrophilia.

[35:46] Recast the scene,

[35:47] just get one dude,

[35:48] have him do it all.

[35:49] Yeah, I think so.

[35:50] I mean, they probably saw the actor

[35:52] and they're like,

[35:53] he is the entire package.

[35:54] Yeah, I want to make it clear.

[35:55] Like, if you have a foot fetish, great.

[35:57] Just don't smell someone's cast off shoe

[35:59] without their consent.

[36:01] Just ask someone's permission

[36:03] before you smell their shoe.

[36:04] That's totally, it's okay.

[36:05] In no way am I passing judgment on a foot fetish.

[36:08] I feel like the movie is passing judgment on it.

[36:09] No, the movie is implying that this,

[36:11] I mean, we shouldn't pass judgment

[36:12] on morticians either.

[36:13] Like, it's a necessary part of,

[36:15] you got to do something with dead bodies.

[36:16] I don't think that's what we're passing judgment on.

[36:19] Well, I think that they're deliberately

[36:21] making his job unappealing to her.

[36:23] Yes, the movie, it's not like the movie,

[36:25] it's not like when she hears the mortician,

[36:26] she's like, okay, cool.

[36:27] Like she's turned off by that also.

[36:29] Oh, I guess I'm assuming that the bloop

[36:32] is part of the canon

[36:33] that he has further benefits with the bodies.

[36:35] That's what I'm assuming.

[36:37] Now, as we know-

[36:38] It's not canon, I guess, my mistake.

[36:40] It's not in the film.

[36:41] Anything that happens during or after the closing credits

[36:44] is just apocryphal.

[36:45] Yeah.

[36:46] Yeah, and you know-

[36:47] It's the Gnostic gospel.

[36:49] The Gnostic little Italy, yeah.

[36:51] Yeah, I mean, just because Hayden Christensen's involved

[36:54] doesn't mean that there's some kind of extended universe.

[36:59] So Leo and Nikki, their fathers are feuding,

[37:02] two different restaurants.

[37:02] They had an argument.

[37:04] They come from different worlds.

[37:05] What are you going to do?

[37:07] Get together for a romantic pizza-making dinner, right?

[37:09] And man, I love this.

[37:12] I love this date.

[37:13] You know, they're going to cook dinner together.

[37:14] She starts eating and she's like, oh, this is so great.

[37:16] And he's like, don't fill up on the appetizers.

[37:20] And I'm like, what the fuck?

[37:22] Why wouldn't he call it antipasti or whatever the fuck?

[37:25] Like, who calls it appetizers?

[37:26] I want to say too, he has a-

[37:28] Once again, I threw the table over.

[37:30] I had already righted it previously.

[37:33] You just went, ma, ron, ah,

[37:34] and started biting your knuckles.

[37:35] You're so mad.

[37:36] He has a pizza oven in his apartment

[37:40] with a big open fire,

[37:42] which I do not think is a thing

[37:44] that people have in their apartment.

[37:45] It's probably not officially a zoning approved thing

[37:50] to have an open pizza oven

[37:51] in your second or third floor apartment, yeah.

[37:54] Yeah, and he is more interested in fancier pizza pies

[37:59] than the very traditional pizzas being sold by his father.

[38:05] It's another conflict.

[38:06] And her mind is fucking blown by this

[38:08] in a way that anybody who's a professional chef

[38:11] should not be like, wow, figs on a pizza.

[38:13] No, no, but Dan, she tells him to put figs on the pizza.

[38:16] No, she doesn't.

[38:17] Yeah, yeah.

[38:18] I was too busy.

[38:20] The thing is, guys, I can't decide

[38:21] because the whole time I was wondering,

[38:23] are they gonna fuck on this pizza?

[38:25] Well, Dan, you and I are gonna have to go back

[38:27] and rewatch the movie.

[38:28] He's talking about the crust.

[38:29] He has a specific way he does the crust.

[38:31] And she says, put the figs on the pizza.

[38:33] That'll cut through the cheese.

[38:34] And so we're seeing that they are combining their talents

[38:37] and that they make the perfect pie.

[38:39] But you're right.

[38:39] He does have a rooftop garden of organic ingredients

[38:42] and he dreams of opening his organic pizza place.

[38:44] Which, by the way, that rooftop garden

[38:45] has upwards of 16 or 17 lamps on it,

[38:50] but they're like house lamps.

[38:52] They're like table lamps with lampshades and stuff.

[38:55] It's a very sitcom set.

[38:57] Yeah.

[38:58] I don't know whether he set those up

[39:00] because he knew she was gonna come up there.

[39:03] I don't know.

[39:04] Audrey was very much like, what if it rains?

[39:05] What's going on?

[39:05] Why is it gonna be land?

[39:06] Dan, it never rains.

[39:08] Wait a minute.

[39:09] Soccer in the rain.

[39:10] Oh, no.

[39:13] Yeah, so the date goes pretty well at one point.

[39:16] Somebody says, you're speaking my language.

[39:19] And then they do some sexy Italian dancing.

[39:21] And then Nikki abruptly leaves.

[39:25] She says, I need to leave or else I'll stay.

[39:28] And he doesn't quite realize that she's,

[39:31] that she's talking about an issue

[39:33] larger than just that night.

[39:35] Meanwhile, Grandpa is faced with the prospect

[39:40] of not getting to actually sleep with Nona.

[39:43] So she says, you gotta put a ring on it.

[39:46] I think she even says, like Beyonce.

[39:48] Yeah, you mentioned Beyonce a couple times in the movie

[39:50] and with diminishing returns each time.

[39:52] Oh, no, no.

[39:53] I disagree.

[39:54] I love the last time when Andrew Martin goes,

[39:56] I'm a Beyonce.

[39:58] So, of course.

[40:00] he proposes cuz you know what else is he gonna do right like he doesn't have that

[40:06] much going on come on what's he gonna do wrap a slice of pizza around his dick

[40:09] no he wants her I guess I guess it is a binary choice Elliot if you're not

[40:15] married you gotta wrap some pizza I'm just saying he doesn't have a lot of

[40:19] options I've been doing it for years so yeah so at this point like you know our

[40:26] two characters kind of go off and speak with their parents and grandparents to

[40:30] get a little bit of knowledge grandpa's talking to Leo and he imparts some very

[40:34] important bits of wisdom like love is like making a pizza you learn from your

[40:41] mistakes you got to be fearless and have fun and then he also follows that with

[40:47] you can take the girl out of little Italy but you can't take the little

[40:51] out of the girl and a variety of sayings like that I wish I wish they had then

[40:57] revealed that he was watching a soccer game over Leo's shoulder not really

[41:00] paying close attention to conversation he's like the chances we didn't take the

[41:06] love we didn't make so of course he's like hey Leo he who dies with the most

[41:11] toys still dies you know life's a beach yeah it's five o'clock somewhere you

[41:20] don't have to be crazy to work at this pizzeria but it helps yeah so Leo

[41:24] delivers a late-night pizza and a message for Nikki to meet be ready at

[41:29] dawn where he shows up on a scooter to drive her around as Charlene put it

[41:34] they're in little Italy not big Italy why are they riding on a scooter so they

[41:39] wake up at dawn before everyone else is awake to go to like a street festival

[41:45] yeah an Italian like but like they don't live that far from the like they're in

[41:49] little Italy this is a different town over yeah but they're also just like

[41:53] tasted a bunch I I don't know like I I guess if you like the food that you make

[42:00] you know you might have fun going out to a like a food festival but I also was

[42:06] kind of watching it being like I don't know they got to eat this all the time

[42:09] like why are they like Italian food yeah yeah I mean as as I'm just as we've

[42:17] experienced Toronto is a city that has a lot of different culinary options it's

[42:22] not just Italian food so you don't think that they would sample a you know a full

[42:26] cornucopia of different flavors so of course in this montage there is a moment

[42:31] where they're comparing novelty t-shirts that say different Italian things that's

[42:35] great and then they of course buy those t-shirts yeah they take out their their

[42:41] regular shirts they're wearing before I assume they threw in the gutter no longer

[42:44] needing them yeah sure it isn't Italian enough now uh here's the thing Dan just

[42:50] a minute this is done like kind of like a flirty montage with music so you don't

[42:53] totally hear all the dialogue but I have to assume that as you're saying they

[42:56] love this cuisine and they're just like hey check out what this guy over here is

[42:59] doing with bread tomato sauce and cheese no no no no you got to come over here

[43:02] and see what this guy is doing bread tomato sauce and cheese wait wait wait

[43:06] look what I found you'll never guess the combination that's right tomato sauce

[43:09] bread we threw some cheese in it hey over here no wait hold on I got tomato

[43:14] sauce and cheese where's the bread it's right underneath it there they just need

[43:17] to find all the different combinations because that's basically what Italian

[43:20] street yeah Wow also I want to say take that Italian street as I think I've

[43:25] mentioned before Audrey while being Filipino grew up part of her time in an

[43:30] Italian household and she was very upset she's like you don't buy a cannoli

[43:34] that's pre-filled so that's a little tip for all you apparently don't buy cannoli

[43:39] I mean I do cuz what I'm not gonna fill it you buy it at a place that will fill

[43:47] it for you so wait like I buy the the shell and then I wait for the fucking

[43:51] cannoli man to ring the bell and drive his cart by and I'm like cannoli man

[43:55] cannoli man I run out with a shell I run out with the shell Dan and he pulls out

[44:00] his his nozzle and he stuffs it right in my shell and he fills it and I'm like

[44:05] okay well I don't have 17 cents it is like this one's on me and I'm like okay

[44:10] but why are you speaking like that and then I run in and I devour my cannoli

[44:15] Stuart you're not buying just the shell when you buy this cannoli you're paying

[44:20] no no you're buying the experience they're just separate really they give

[44:26] you the shell and the fill you to put your hand out and they put the shell in

[44:29] one hand yeah fill your hands with the filling and then you gotta mush them

[44:32] together and that's why they call it cannoli cuz it's like oh cannoli I got

[44:37] a mess on my hands here is that why they where they got the idea for the what is

[44:41] that the McDLT where they package the hot shit separately keeps the hot and

[44:47] the cold cold and it just uses thrice the styrofoam of a normal package I

[44:51] guess now here's when in Rome you know you reminded me of a line from earlier

[44:55] where they're at that garden party and Alyssa Milano for some reason is give is

[44:59] delivering gum and a cannoli to the dad so that he can say the line leave the

[45:04] gum take the cannoli wop wop wop godfather

[45:15] okay so what happens there's they're having so much fun with the novelty

[45:21] t-shirts and the food what happens to the only option of course is to blow up

[45:25] more vegetables on an old man's stew but they make it up to him by leaving him

[45:30] a nicely appointed basket filled with Italian treats I know I shouldn't have

[45:36] said Italian it kind of goes without saying everybody kind of knew what was

[45:38] so so instead they go back to Leo's place to change shirts and she's like

[45:44] make some kind of a comment and he's like oh it's getting harder by the

[45:47] minute cuz he you know it's talking about his wiener it's very horny and of

[45:51] course then they then they you know finally hook up the moment we've been

[45:56] waiting for meanwhile grandma and grandpa have also hooked up and they've

[46:01] also gotten married now engaged engaged Oh engage yeah sure so the so this is

[46:07] the moment where you're like is this what happens when somebody decides to

[46:11] write an entire romantic comedy around a step-sibling porno that didn't either of

[46:19] the scene between the two of them where with between Leo and and Nikki he's like

[46:24] oh my shirt's all wet I'll throw to the dryer she's like yeah mine too and takes

[46:27] her shirt off and it's like he just doesn't seem to get the message and it

[46:31] makes more sense if there's a taboo being broken it's okay because she's

[46:34] like I'll take my pants off too all right he's like a Jedi can't get married

[46:41] you know now do the grandparents have sex at this point or is that later I

[46:47] don't like rolling around in a bit like they're in a hotel but I thought they

[46:50] were like rolling around in the air no no Danny ILO apparently at his age is

[46:56] able to get it up twice yes they they have just had sex and then they are

[47:01] initiating the second round when we leave the scene and she says to him the

[47:05] immortal line take off your top this time because like an old man he wore his

[47:09] shirt the entire time that's the first time yes what is sports shirt what is

[47:15] Matt Berry so of course at this point we need to we need to put a little bit

[47:24] of fire under our characters Jane Seymour once again like a good pizza

[47:28] oven yep she she she calls to she FaceTimes Nikki to pressure her she's

[47:34] like she realizes she sees that Nikki has like sex hair and she's like is there a

[47:41] penis more pressing than my menu and that's the you know it's great line Leo

[47:48] shows up and she pushes him away she's like this can't work she needs but once

[47:53] again she doesn't address why it can't work she just tries she creates a fight

[47:56] she creates a problem between the two of them we also now learn the secret to

[48:00] Nona sauce what's that secret Dan you put a couple of anchovies in there

[48:05] then you fish them out later I don't know I don't know why you got a fish

[48:08] about just kept those anchovies real small pretty much dissolve in the sauce

[48:12] but okay tell Nona how to do it Dan she's been doing this sauce for decades

[48:16] you know you come in not even Italian and tell her how to do well how dare you

[48:20] how much privilege do you have I guess James read the food lab Elliot yeah I'm

[48:27] Kenji Lopez all no I I mean like maybe she just wants a touch of anchovy flavor

[48:32] but then just use you know what anchovy chop it up good Dan again wow this is

[48:37] you just walking into her culture and telling her how to do it better like

[48:41] yeah he's like piece to seven fishes how about just five you know what I spent a

[48:48] week in Italy once I guess I'll open an Italian restaurant put my my swing on

[48:52] things come on this is the way to do it and what would you call your Italian

[48:55] restaurant Dan Dan Marino's yeah sure let's go sounds more like a steakhouse

[49:02] in Florida but speaking of bad names for things uh Hayden Christensen Leo

[49:09] talks about his dream of opening a pizzeria with fancy all-natural organic

[49:15] ingredients and his name is pizza organica and I gotta say terrible name

[49:20] it's not it does not roll off the tongue it does tell you what they have there

[49:24] which is pizza with human organs on it and harmonicas so at this point at this

[49:32] point grandma and grandpa are trying to finally break the news to their families

[49:38] yeah so they organized a joint dinner a surprise joint dinner a surprise joint

[49:43] dinner and once again this is where the horniness bleeds into reality where they

[49:47] have decided to go to an Indian restaurant they found on Yelp called

[49:53] Korma Sutra sensual Indian cuisine they of course the one family

[50:00] arrives, as they arrive, the other family is also arriving seemingly from another entrance.

[50:07] I'm surprised they didn't make some kind of like weird backdoor like sex joke.

[50:12] I also want to say the Italian fathers are completely baffled by the idea

[50:18] that you would want to eat another cuisine. They're like, Indian food? Why are we going here?

[50:24] I would love to see if they're like, oh naan I guess is like a pizza crust. Let's see what kind

[50:28] of toppings we put on that. Like they're trying to reverse engineer a pizza out of Indian food.

[50:33] Oh, that would have been great. So of course, you know, both families are a little bit,

[50:40] both fathers, I guess, are irritated by the news and they realize the only option at this point

[50:46] is to have another pizza contest. So one of the families will have to move away. It's kind of

[50:51] crazy. Whoever loses the contest will move away and the dads won't compete. No, no, no. The heirs

[50:57] to the pizza thrones will compete because they've been banned from the competition.

[51:01] They've been saying, oh, I see. I missed that. So of course, Leo and Nikki are going to have to

[51:08] compete and they get in a fight. Leo makes some weird jokes. Well, first, Nikki says, I'm a chef.

[51:17] I don't do pizza, which is a weird thing to say. I mean, it would make sense if she said it in 1953.

[51:24] Yeah. And then Leo, of course, is like, you did pizza last night. And we're like, whoa, dude.

[51:30] No, no. He's like, I always let you win at everything. And she goes, no, you didn't let

[51:35] me win. I let you win or something. And he's like, oh, like you let me win last night. And they all

[51:40] go, oh. Yep. And she slaps his face and we're like, yeah, he deserved that. That was a pretty

[51:45] shitty thing to say. Especially in front of her family. Although I wish they had done it your

[51:48] way where he goes, we made pizza last night. We made some delicious pizza. You had a heaping

[51:55] helping of hot sausage pizza last night. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Dan, I'm sorry. The movie is getting

[52:02] into me. Sorry. Yeah. So, of course, the only option is for us to have a pizza contest at the

[52:10] festival. The festival. I don't know if you've ever been to like the 18th Avenue Feast or the

[52:15] Feast of St. Gennaro. It's like that. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a there's a princess. There's a girl

[52:21] who wants to go to the festival. Right, Dan? She sings a song about how she wants to go to the

[52:25] festival. So she has to go into the woods. Yeah. And a ball. I can't remember the rest.

[52:30] OK. So the hosts are these two garishly dressed characters in blindingly colored suits.

[52:40] And there's also some bikini clad men and women who are going to be announced as like

[52:45] what, Mr. and Mrs. Italian Festival? Mr. and Mrs. Italian, Italy bikini. And this is after

[52:52] Luigi has revealed to Leo, I know I'm not Italian, but when I was thrown out of my house by my dad

[52:57] for being gay, the Italians accepted me, which raises even more questions about what I guess

[53:03] Toronto Italians are a lot more open minded than the New Jersey Italians I grew up around.

[53:06] But then we know he's gay because he is leering at the Mr. Bikini like they just keep cutting to

[53:12] him going, uh, yeah, his eyeballs are popping out. He's wearing sunglasses and they shatter.

[53:21] And like, yeah, so before this, you know, they both are both our leads have their,

[53:26] you know, their moments where they like talk to Nona and Nona's like, oh, being with a man is

[53:30] so great. And so they they're competing. They managed to make it to the final round.

[53:36] It's our it's our two hero pizzas battling each other. And there's a moment where Nikki

[53:41] clearly has the opportunity and the motive. So she swaps sauces so that Leo makes his pizza with

[53:49] his family's dough and her famous sauce. And and I got to say, like, before this happened,

[53:56] I was joking, like they were like walking up with the pizzas and I was joking about like,

[54:01] oh, it'd be hilarious if like it was like Reese's Pieces commercial and they bumped into each other

[54:06] and got like their pizza all over each other's pizza, which made the perfect pizza. And that's

[54:11] kind of what happens. It's kind of what happens in the movie. It's a little more deliberate than

[54:14] that. Yeah. So they make their pizzas and throw them directly into ovens that are clearly not on.

[54:22] There is no lights. There's no way these these pizza ovens are working. I mean, it's tough.

[54:26] Who brings a giant pizza oven out into the street? I mean, for a street festival all the time. Oh,

[54:33] I guess I guess you're right. I just thought the food magically appeared or like or maybe like a

[54:38] dragon breathed fire on them. But I mean, that's the way they do it. Renaissance festival.

[54:46] So, of course, Leo wins the contest. And even before you can accept his trophy,

[54:51] Nikki has already jumped in a cab to head to the airport. She has her luggage right next to

[54:56] the stage. I would be so fucking stressed out if I'm like, yeah, so let's time this out. I'm going

[55:04] to pack my bags, OK? I'm going to compete in a pizza festival. I'm sure that that's going to go

[55:10] exactly on time. It's not going to go long. And then if I oh, even before the festival is done,

[55:16] I'll just a festival that I guess I'm going to. It felt like she hadn't already decided she was

[55:22] going to lose. Like it felt like she decided she was going to throw the contest at the last moment.

[55:26] So it is weird that she liked that she baked in that extra time. So she she just jumps in the

[55:32] she's already on top of that. Stewart, we have never seen her putting together her menu to

[55:37] submit. Right. So she's just going to cram it on the plane on the way over. That's crazy.

[55:42] Yeah. She's just going to sit in her seat on the plane and look around the plane and think of

[55:47] things. She's like plane, plane, plane, pizza. James Seymour is looking at the menu. She's like,

[55:57] there's so many different dishes that are based around small packages of nuts.

[56:02] That's the theme you're going for sort of ginger cookies. A lot of biscotti.

[56:12] Or not biscotti, biscoff. Sorry. So, of course. So, of course, we rush to the airport. Leo wants

[56:18] to try and win Nikki Nikki back. Wait, hold on. Wait, guys. I want to see that movie so badly

[56:24] now where she is. She's just raided the snack basket on the plane and is mixing it. I got to

[56:29] figure out how to do how to do a fancy casual meal out of pop corners and cheese. It's hold on.

[56:37] How do I work these terror chips? She's like flotation device,

[56:46] pillowy, gnocchi, gnocchi. She's like the first for the first course.

[56:52] It is a single terror chip floating in a plastic cup of Pepsi Cola.

[56:59] Now, the salt in the chip really brings out the sugar in the soda. It's a combination of salty

[57:06] and sweet. And James Seymour is like, all right, I'll see how far this goes. What's the next course?

[57:14] OK, I've got I've got time to kill. Let's do this next. We have this is a this is a it's a it's a

[57:22] baked item. It's made of a crust of mashed cheese and biscoff cookie. And it's served on a on an

[57:30] in-flight magazine. All right. OK, these are some deconstructed pretzels in a barf bag. OK,

[57:37] these are deconstructed just because you crumpled them. Yes, that's that's what I mean.

[57:43] So go on, Stuart. Oh, OK, so this is a this is a realizes. Oh, this the contest was fixed.

[57:53] Yeah. So wait, wait. No, we're still doing this bit. So like this is a duo of little salamis

[57:59] because I paid extra for the snack bag. Right. Yeah. One of them is on one of them's cooked and

[58:07] one's not cooked. That's a homicidal. OK, so it's a duo of dry salami slices and a tiny packet

[58:16] of like liquidy cheese, but not fully liquid cheese. All right. OK. OK, so technically we

[58:23] all contributed to that bit. So I get partial credit. So when you guys sell it for a million

[58:29] dollars. Yes, Stuart. Now you own a part of it. Ask Apple. We'll register that. Yes. Thank you.

[58:33] OK, so, yeah, they they rush to the airport. She Nikki is going through the security line

[58:40] and she is behaving like a person who has never fucking flown in her life because she's like,

[58:44] oh, I can't take my keys. OK, I guess I'll go back through what my watch. I guess my

[58:50] watch is too medley bracelets. Bracelets is different than a watch. OK, I'll go back.

[58:57] She has a medal around her neck that her Nona gave her. That's I forget what saint it is,

[59:01] but to say that looks over the wayward children and she's looking at it like,

[59:04] I have to take this off, too. It's like, yeah, dude, like, of course you do. Like,

[59:09] yeah, you get here from London. I don't understand. You stole away in a pet carrier.

[59:13] Like she's a ghost that's trapped. Her spirit is trapped inside an amulet. And she's like,

[59:17] if I remove this, my body will turn into a husk. That's on you. My head will fall off.

[59:23] Yeah. Oh, man, I love that joke. But that buys time for who to get to the airport.

[59:32] Yeah, I think she kind of did it on purpose, right? She was like, I think I think the way

[59:36] this is going, I'm going to give him a little bit of time because he's riding a fucking scooter to

[59:39] the airport. If it's anything like what happens to me, she did it because I was right behind her

[59:45] with my wife and two children, one of whom was a crying baby and the other whom is a kid is a

[59:50] boy who does not want to let go of his scooter, even though I have to disassemble it to put it

[59:53] through the machine. And he's just telling me how hungry he is. And she is taking up as much

[59:57] time as possible to keep me in that situation.

[1:00:00] as long as she possibly can, so I can't get to the other side where I can get my shit together

[1:00:05] and get food for my children, because that's what happens every time I go to the airport.

[1:00:09] Because famously, the bad travelers are not the people traveling with a bunch of kids.

[1:00:14] Famously, people are excited to see them.

[1:00:17] Burn, burn, burn!

[1:00:19] From my point of view, this is a real Rashomon we got here, Stuart.

[1:00:23] From my point of view, it's the Jedi that are evil.

[1:00:27] I like the pleasing, mellifluous sound of a child's shrill scream inside of a confined space with bad air pressure.

[1:00:34] Sure.

[1:00:35] So, of course, you know, Leo gets there in time.

[1:00:39] He runs up some stairs that are placed kind of interestingly.

[1:00:42] It's weird that they would have stairs that close to the security line,

[1:00:45] because I feel like people could, like, jump over them and get through security, like, parkour style, but whatever.

[1:00:51] It's actually very similar to the way that LAX is laid out in some of its terminals, which is weird.

[1:00:56] But you're right.

[1:00:57] It is weird that there seems to be a staircase that goes to the gates that just goes over the security line.

[1:01:02] Yeah, it seems like, why isn't everyone just going over this?

[1:01:05] Maybe that just takes them to an Auntie Anne's Pretzels or something.

[1:01:08] They have those in airports, right?

[1:01:09] Sure, why not?

[1:01:10] So, you know, the whole family shows up.

[1:01:12] It's Canada, so it's probably a Tim Hortons.

[1:01:14] Yep, so the whole family shows up.

[1:01:16] Leo pours out his heart like so much a pizza sauce.

[1:01:20] And Nikki mulls it over.

[1:01:24] Like so much wine.

[1:01:26] There's a star-making performance from a security guard who says,

[1:01:30] girl, go to London, don't change your plans for no man.

[1:01:34] Yeah, she immediately became my favorite character at that point.

[1:01:36] Yeah, she was great.

[1:01:37] I'm like, yeah, man, don't throw away your career just for this.

[1:01:39] You can figure something out later.

[1:01:41] We're also introduced to another security agent who is played by a gay man who keeps taking selfies.

[1:01:49] It's only important because he shows up later as Luigi's date at the wedding.

[1:01:54] So eventually, you know, she makes everyone believe, like, she goes through the security line.

[1:01:59] You're like, oh, she gave up on him.

[1:02:01] But, nope, she had to get her bag.

[1:02:03] She's decided to stay.

[1:02:04] And everybody's happy, and there's a wedding, and everybody is coupled off.

[1:02:08] Yeah, everyone's paired off like it's a Shakespeare comedy.

[1:02:11] Yeah.

[1:02:12] And the dads explain why their feud even happened in the first place.

[1:02:16] Oh, yeah.

[1:02:17] It was an argument over which parents to name the pizza parlor over, and both of the parents were like,

[1:02:22] we don't want a fucking pizza parlor named after us.

[1:02:24] Come on.

[1:02:25] Yeah, they don't want to be named after pizza, which is, once again, it's all tied in with communication, guys.

[1:02:30] If Nikki had told everybody that she was only going to be there briefly, they could have dealt with this.

[1:02:36] But it was, you know, they wouldn't have all had to rush to the airport.

[1:02:38] I mean, to be fair, their argument escalated from, I want this pizza named after my grandma.

[1:02:43] No, after my mom.

[1:02:45] I want it named after my dad, to the point where they were throwing food at each other.

[1:02:48] I think there were bigger issues underlying this argument.

[1:02:51] Oh, yeah.

[1:02:52] Also, the flashback to them fighting at the pizza contest was pretty funny because it turns into like an old vaudeville routine.

[1:03:01] Like they're, like, throwing pizza at each other, like sauce at each other, dough at each other.

[1:03:06] It's pretty funny.

[1:03:07] I am glad that you specified old vaudeville because if it was more of a new vaudeville.

[1:03:12] Vaudeville is back, guys.

[1:03:14] It's called TikTok.

[1:03:16] Yeah.

[1:03:17] But also I want to say, too, Jane Seymour comes over and she is quite taken with the pizza that they have made together for the wedding and talks to them about franchising opportunities abroad.

[1:03:29] So everyone gets what they want.

[1:03:31] Everyone gets what they want.

[1:03:34] Because apparently Nikki's grandma invited Nikki's old boss to her wedding.

[1:03:39] Yeah.

[1:03:40] I mean, I feel like they'd made a connection.

[1:03:41] She specified that, like, she was her best student.

[1:03:44] I guess.

[1:03:45] Oh, sure.

[1:03:46] I guess.

[1:03:47] And also she's like – so Nikki was in competition with this guy Garth and – or Gareth, and she's like, oh, Gareth's food went through a reviewer so fast that we had to shut down within weeks.

[1:03:58] And it's like, guys, come on.

[1:04:00] This Gareth guy, we barely met him.

[1:04:02] There's no reason to say that he's, like, poisoning people.

[1:04:06] That seems to be also an issue maybe with, like, food sanitation and prep more than, like, his menu.

[1:04:13] I mean, which would still be on him because he's the executive chef at the restaurant, right?

[1:04:16] Yeah, yeah.

[1:04:17] He made a sauce out of Windex or something.

[1:04:21] And even the Indian employees have now paired up.

[1:04:26] Yeah, there's a moment where Joji – our leads are dancing with their respective Indian coworkers and then trick them into dancing with each other.

[1:04:38] And there's a moment where Joji sees Jessie in her sari, and he's like – he says, holy cow, which earlier in the movie they'd addressed that – he addressed that cows are sacred in India.

[1:04:49] So that's a big deal.

[1:04:50] I get it.

[1:04:51] It's a joke.

[1:04:52] But, like, fuck you.

[1:04:54] Go on.

[1:04:55] Everyone's happy, and then it's just bloop-a-palooza, right?

[1:04:58] Yeah, there's a bunch of bloops.

[1:04:59] Well, I mean a lot of this movie seems to have been improvised because they've got a bunch of sort of alternate takes of jokes.

[1:05:07] I don't know.

[1:05:09] The movie seems pretty tightly crafted.

[1:05:11] I would say that most of the time they chose the wrong joke to put in the movie because I laughed harder at most of the bloops than I did at the movie.

[1:05:17] Certainly all of Luigi's jokes where they're making a joke about him touching Hayden Christensen's butt, all of his takes were funnier than the one they put in the movie.

[1:05:26] Yeah.

[1:05:27] I kind of feel like this is the kind of movie – and the people who made this movie, they've made other movies.

[1:05:32] They're not newbies.

[1:05:33] This is not a Neil Breen scenario.

[1:05:36] There's a stink of professionalism on this movie.

[1:05:39] Yes, but I kind of wonder if there were takes where they were like, that's hilarious.

[1:05:42] We'll save that for the bloopers.

[1:05:44] Oh, yeah.

[1:05:45] That was too funny to put in the movie.

[1:05:46] That should be in the bloopers.

[1:05:47] Yeah, you want people laughing on the way out of the theater.

[1:05:50] Mm-hmm, laughing and maybe hungry because – did you guys really want pizza afterwards?

[1:05:55] Because I didn't.

[1:05:56] Oh, no?

[1:05:57] I was like, maybe I'll never eat a pizza again because all I could think about was how much trouble it causes people emotionally, the people who make the pizzas.

[1:06:05] Guys, let's do final judgments whether this is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie kind of like Stuart.

[1:06:11] What do you want to say about this?

[1:06:13] I mean, some of the troubling stereotypes aside, I thought this was kind of a good, bad movie.

[1:06:20] I had a good time.

[1:06:22] My wife and I had a great time watching and laughing at it, but, yeah, whatever.

[1:06:28] It was fun.

[1:06:30] I watched this with Audrey, who is a great fan of dumb romantic comedies, and she was on board from the beginning.

[1:06:40] I kind of thought it was sort of generic and boring for a lot of it, and then, I don't know, the last 30 minutes kind of won me over for some reason.

[1:06:48] I'm not really sure what changed, whether I just had Stockholm syndrome or whether the energy picked up, but I don't know.

[1:06:56] It exists outside the categories for me.

[1:06:59] I'd say if you're into this kind of thing, you might have fun watching it.

[1:07:02] I would say, yeah, it's a – if you want to watch a – it does feel super generic, but that's kind of what made it a good, bad movie for me is that there were certain points where I was like, how generic can a movie feel and still be a movie that has characters with names?

[1:07:17] And this gets pretty close to it.

[1:07:19] If you want to see a super good, bad movie romantic comedy, I'd recommend Down to You with Freddie Prinze Jr. and Julia Stiles.

[1:07:26] But if you want to watch one where the joke is like, how little movie could they put in a movie?

[1:07:31] How much could it just be the template for a romantic comedy?

[1:07:33] I'd say go with this one because I found that funny about it where it was like, what's the hook?

[1:07:37] Everybody's Italian.

[1:07:39] Okay, do we need anything else in the movie?

[1:07:41] Nah, that's pretty much enough.

[1:07:42] That's okay.

[1:07:43] Yeah, and there's barely any conflicts.

[1:07:45] They could have made way more of the sort of Romeo and Juliet feuding families thing, but everyone in the families except the fathers are totally cool with one another.

[1:07:55] It's so funny.

[1:07:56] Even more than that in some cases.

[1:07:58] Yeah, it turns out everyone else is fine.

[1:08:00] But also there are times when they're having a great time, Leo and Nikki, and they're really seen meant for each other.

[1:08:06] And Nikki will just be like, no, no, I have to leave because it's the part of the movie where we're not supposed to be together yet.

[1:08:12] So I got to go now.

[1:08:14] And it's like, oh, okay.

[1:08:15] I guess she knows she's in a movie and they're not supposed to do it until later.

[1:08:18] And I feel like a lot of the supporting cast are at least up for it.

[1:08:23] You know, like Andrea Martin, Jane Seymour, you know, all those guys, Melissa Milano, Danny Aiello.

[1:08:32] So we all agree.

[1:08:34] All agree.

[1:08:35] Good, bad movie with Dan saying he liked it the most.

[1:08:38] Yeah.

[1:08:39] He says it exists outside more of a documentary.

[1:08:42] Hey, everyone.

[1:08:50] Johnsofagari here with the cast of Mission to Zix.

[1:08:53] Our fourth season premieres on February 19th.

[1:08:56] And for those of you who aren't familiar with the show, we decided to ask one of our characters to give you a quick recap of what's happened so far.

[1:09:03] So say hi, C-53.

[1:09:05] Hello, how may I be of service?

[1:09:06] C, could you tell us what's happening in the Zix quadrant leading up to season four?

[1:09:10] Certainly.

[1:09:11] The evil Nervid Bundeloy, not to be confused with the non-evil Nervid Bundeloy of Narnia,

[1:09:15] murdered his fellow counselors and crowned himself emperor of the galaxy.

[1:09:18] With the help of myself and the rest of the crew of the Barterian Jade,

[1:09:21] Zemonite Plectex center-knocked the emperor and an ancient cosmic entity known as Beano

[1:09:25] into a chasm aboard the gigantic planet Crusher Crusher,

[1:09:28] a machine built to crush planet crushers, which in turn were designed to crush planets.

[1:09:32] The resulting implosion created a vast celestial object with unknown powers.

[1:09:35] We are currently in search of our former rebel commander,

[1:09:37] Sisu Gundu, who may yet reunite our fractured galaxy.

[1:09:40] Is that sufficient?

[1:09:41] Yeah, all clear to me.

[1:09:43] Mission to Zix, season four debuts on February 19th on Maximum Fun.

[1:10:00] I feel the nausea rising.

[1:10:01] To be Fanta is to be a big fan of something,

[1:10:04] but also have some challenging or anti-feelings toward it.

[1:10:09] Kind of like Kanye.

[1:10:10] We're all fans of Kanye.

[1:10:11] He's a musical genius, but like, you know.

[1:10:13] He thinks labor is a choice.

[1:10:14] Or like the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

[1:10:16] Like, I love the drama,

[1:10:17] but do I want to see black women

[1:10:18] fighting each other on screen?

[1:10:19] Ew, to the naw, to the naw, naw, naw.

[1:10:23] We're tackling all of those complex

[1:10:25] and complicated conversations about the people,

[1:10:27] places, and things that we love.

[1:10:28] Even though they may not love us back.

[1:10:31] Fanta, maximum fun.

[1:10:32] Podcast.

[1:10:33] Ew.

[1:10:37] Guys, let's take a word,

[1:10:39] a moment to do a word from our sponsor.

[1:10:42] Our one sponsor this week is Squarespace.

[1:10:47] Squarespace, you know by now,

[1:10:48] it's a service that allows you to take your cool idea

[1:10:51] and turn it into a website.

[1:10:52] You can blog or publish content,

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[1:11:16] Hey, head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial.

[1:11:21] And when you're ready to launch,

[1:11:22] use the offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase

[1:11:26] of a website or domain.

[1:11:29] Hey, Dan, I had an idea for a website

[1:11:31] and I was wondering if Squarespace could help me with it.

[1:11:33] Almost certainly.

[1:11:35] Oh, okay, thank you.

[1:11:36] Well, that's all I had to say.

[1:11:40] Oh, but Dan is getting up and leaving.

[1:11:42] So I guess I'll talk longer.

[1:11:46] So I had an idea for a website.

[1:11:48] So here's the thing.

[1:11:49] Everyone knows about little Italies.

[1:11:51] They're the parts of big cities

[1:11:52] where a lot of people of Italian descent are.

[1:11:54] And it's like a little Italy,

[1:11:56] but I want to find the Italiest corner of little Italy.

[1:12:00] So I have a new website.

[1:12:01] It's called www.littlelittleitaliefinder.com.

[1:12:04] And we're going to find little, little Italy.

[1:12:06] The corner of little Italy,

[1:12:08] that's even more Italian than the rest of little Italy.

[1:12:10] I call it little, little Italy.

[1:12:12] It might be the back room of a restaurant.

[1:12:14] It might be a corner of a pork store.

[1:12:16] It might be just like the shower

[1:12:19] in an old lady's apartment.

[1:12:20] I don't know.

[1:12:22] So it's littlelittleitaliefinder.com.

[1:12:25] And what it does is it relies really on user reports

[1:12:29] of how much Italy they find in a part of a little Italy.

[1:12:33] And with the one that gets the most ratings,

[1:12:35] that becomes the little, little Italy.

[1:12:36] So there's kind of like a Pokemon Go,

[1:12:38] also like competitive game aspect to it,

[1:12:40] because people have to make their case.

[1:12:42] Why is this the most Italian part of little Italy?

[1:12:44] Why is this the little, little Italy?

[1:12:45] And kind of like Pokemon Go,

[1:12:46] it gets people out moving around and walking.

[1:12:49] Oh, which is so needed these days.

[1:12:50] We spend so much of our life sitting down at work

[1:12:52] or at our computer or looking at our phones.

[1:12:55] Now we can walk around looking at our phones.

[1:12:57] Well, we kind of try, and I imagine eventually

[1:12:59] you'll have so much data that you can use your phone

[1:13:01] like a ghost meter in Ghostbusters.

[1:13:03] We just wave it around and it picks up

[1:13:05] on the levels of Italian in little Italy

[1:13:07] until you find little, little Italy.

[1:13:09] So it's littlelittleitaliefinder.com,

[1:13:12] your source for both finding and reporting on

[1:13:16] the most Italian parts.

[1:13:18] No other sponsors this week.

[1:13:20] If you want to get up on the Jumbotron,

[1:13:23] you can go to maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron.

[1:13:27] But let's mention our live show in,

[1:13:30] wait a minute, where is it?

[1:13:31] Hold on, oh no, Toronto, on April 18th at 8 p.m.,

[1:13:35] we're gonna be in Toronto.

[1:13:36] That's right, the site of the movie Little Italy

[1:13:39] that we were just talking about.

[1:13:40] I think the theater is in little Italy in Toronto.

[1:13:44] Uh-oh, guys, forget what I said.

[1:13:46] It's a great movie and I love it

[1:13:47] and everything about that neighborhood is great.

[1:13:49] Uh-oh, we're in trouble.

[1:13:50] We're gonna be at the Royal Cinema.

[1:13:51] It's part of the What the Film Festival.

[1:13:54] That's April 18th at 8 p.m.

[1:13:55] We haven't chosen the movie for it yet.

[1:13:56] It's probably gonna be a lesser known,

[1:13:59] not quite as big budge movie as we usually do

[1:14:02] for live shows, but it'll be fun.

[1:14:03] Come on, guys.

[1:14:04] And quite possibly Canadian from the choices

[1:14:06] we've been looking at so far.

[1:14:08] I also want to say if you go to flophousepodcast.com,

[1:14:12] there will be a link to where you buy tickets

[1:14:15] both on the show page for this episode and under events.

[1:14:19] So it will be very hard for you not to find the link.

[1:14:22] I mean, you're probably there already.

[1:14:23] And that's April 18th at 8 p.m. in Toronto

[1:14:25] at the Royal Cinema as part of the What the Film Festival.

[1:14:28] Go to flophousepodcast.com or flophousepodcast.com

[1:14:32] slash events.

[1:14:34] Cool.

[1:14:36] Anything else or should we move on to letters?

[1:14:39] Oh, I'll let you know that by the time this episode

[1:14:42] comes out, it will be, I think, a day until the release

[1:14:46] of the first episode of iPodius.

[1:14:48] That's right, the long-awaited Elliot Kaelin,

[1:14:50] John Hodgman collaborative podcast where together

[1:14:53] we watch and talk about the 1974 British miniseries,

[1:14:56] or 1976, I can't remember, British miniseries iClaudius

[1:15:00] based on the novels by Robert Graves.

[1:15:02] Oh, I thought it was about going to the bathroom.

[1:15:05] A lot of people think that.

[1:15:06] It's pod P-O-D and not P-O-T-T-Y.

[1:15:09] Because you pronounce it like P-O-T-T-Y.

[1:15:11] Sorry, iPodius.

[1:15:14] Okay, thank you.

[1:15:15] Is the name of the show.

[1:15:15] 13 episode podcast miniseries and I think it's gonna

[1:15:19] come out really great.

[1:15:20] I'm excited by what I've heard of it so far

[1:15:22] and I think you, the listener, will like it a lot.

[1:15:24] From Maximum Fun, that's right, iPodius,

[1:15:27] February 17th, the first episode enters the world.

[1:15:31] Enjoy that from Elliot Kaelin and a man

[1:15:33] who once threw a shoe at Elliot Kaelin.

[1:15:36] I've, early reviews say that it's too hot for TV.

[1:15:39] Is that true, Elliot?

[1:15:41] I mean, it's both too hot for TV

[1:15:42] and also has no visual component.

[1:15:44] Okay.

[1:15:46] Which makes it a difficult sale for TV.

[1:15:48] Yeah.

[1:15:49] All right, so let's get into the letters.

[1:15:49] You don't think just watching like a blank screen would be.

[1:15:53] Let's get into letters and this one goes like this.

[1:15:57] Hey Flops, I just finished the Audible version

[1:16:00] of Dune and loved it.

[1:16:02] But when trying to get my partner into it,

[1:16:04] they turned me down.

[1:16:05] I have to assume it was read by Tom Brokaw.

[1:16:09] Chapter one, Paul Atreides, heir to the husband of

[1:16:14] Joseph Atreides, put his hand in the gum jabar.

[1:16:19] Okay, so.

[1:16:20] That's the first line of Dune, right?

[1:16:23] Yeah, when trying to get my partner into it,

[1:16:25] they turned me down.

[1:16:26] Often shuddering.

[1:16:27] Do you guys ever, wait, Dan, I hate to interrupt.

[1:16:29] Do you guys ever hear Tom Brokaw's.

[1:16:30] Do you hate to interrupt?

[1:16:32] Yes, I do.

[1:16:33] He read Moby Dick and it went like this.

[1:16:36] Chapter one, call me Paul Atreides.

[1:16:40] Yes.

[1:16:41] He just loves Dune, that guy loves Dune.

[1:16:43] I mean, there is like, before Call Me Ishmael,

[1:16:45] there is that whole four note to the,

[1:16:48] did he read that or did he just start.

[1:16:49] No, he doesn't read that part.

[1:16:50] No, no.

[1:16:51] Yeah, there was that other part where he's like,

[1:16:53] like a hump, like a shy hallowed.

[1:16:56] Yeah.

[1:16:57] Yeah.

[1:16:58] Yeah.

[1:16:59] Oh, God.

[1:17:00] There's also, Tom Brokaw reads the Bible.

[1:17:02] Genesis, chapter one.

[1:17:05] In the beginning, there was Paul Atreides.

[1:17:08] Okay.

[1:17:09] Okay.

[1:17:13] Okay, going back, just skimming backwards a little bit.

[1:17:15] When trying to get my partner into it, they turn me down.

[1:17:18] Often shuddering at words like Kwisetch Hadrak.

[1:17:21] You pronounce it totally right.

[1:17:23] Or Lisen Al-Gaib.

[1:17:26] I wanna hear Dan McCoy read Dune now.

[1:17:28] Say Sardaukar now.

[1:17:29] How do we know how it's pronounced?

[1:17:32] These are bullshit, made up words.

[1:17:34] Dan, all words are made up.

[1:17:35] I could be pronouncing it perfectly right.

[1:17:37] You're not though.

[1:17:38] I think, you have to imagine the characters from Dune

[1:17:40] as they say them are stumbling over them.

[1:17:43] Just trying to sound it out.

[1:17:46] How do we know what the canonical fucking,

[1:17:47] like, we don't know.

[1:17:49] Frank Herbert isn't wandering around.

[1:17:51] He didn't do one of those YouTube things.

[1:17:52] Like, this is how you pronounce this goddamn word.

[1:17:56] I mean, one, we don't know that.

[1:17:57] Two, his son's alive.

[1:17:58] We could talk to him.

[1:17:59] Yeah.

[1:18:00] Yeah, I don't.

[1:18:01] What, you think his son's a fucking expert?

[1:18:05] We saw what Tolkien's son did later on.

[1:18:07] Anyway.

[1:18:08] Sorry to make you pronounce all that, Dan.

[1:18:11] When Tolkien's son put the word not

[1:18:13] at the end of the last book of the Lord of the Rings.

[1:18:15] Yeah.

[1:18:16] Okay, anyway.

[1:18:17] So, do you guys have any suggestions

[1:18:19] for getting people psyched about Dune?

[1:18:21] Also, what are your expectations slash anticipations

[1:18:24] for the upcoming movie from first name withheld Atreides?

[1:18:27] Oh.

[1:18:30] It's probably Duke Leto.

[1:18:30] I'll let you guys feel this one,

[1:18:34] because I read Dune and I'm like,

[1:18:35] my reaction was, eh, this is fine.

[1:18:37] So, you guys, as the Dune fanatics.

[1:18:41] We're called Dunesberries.

[1:18:43] Big Dune fans are called Dunesberries.

[1:18:46] I would say that part of the,

[1:18:48] I feel like one of the closer,

[1:18:52] like, I don't know, Dune reminds me a lot

[1:18:55] of the Game of Thrones series.

[1:18:58] So, if your partner is a fan

[1:19:02] of the Song of Ice and Fire books,

[1:19:05] or I guess the show,

[1:19:07] I feel like Dune was clearly an influence

[1:19:11] on George R. R. Martin,

[1:19:12] and the way I was able to convince my partner to listen,

[1:19:17] or, well, I always knew that I wanted Charlene

[1:19:21] to read those books,

[1:19:23] but I knew there was no way she was just gonna sit down

[1:19:25] and read those books.

[1:19:26] So, with Song of Ice and Fire,

[1:19:29] I read them out loud to her,

[1:19:32] and it took, like, five years,

[1:19:34] and I would get a couple pages,

[1:19:35] and then she would fall asleep.

[1:19:37] But she loves them,

[1:19:40] and I got to do voices for all the characters.

[1:19:42] It was great.

[1:19:43] And it also, like, inspired her

[1:19:48] to listen to a lot more books on tape,

[1:19:51] and now she listens to a ton of books on tape.

[1:19:53] So, that's what I would suggest.

[1:19:55] I was actually gonna say something very similar,

[1:19:57] because I have two strategies here.

[1:19:59] Number one.

[1:20:00] So my wife and I we were on a trip once and I frequently usually my wife and I have a book that I'm reading

[1:20:05] Allowed to her in you know in chunks or chapters

[1:20:08] Over time and we had forgotten them when we brought with us and I was rereading Dune at the time

[1:20:12] So she was like, all right fine, like start reading that to me thinking she would also fall asleep

[1:20:16] But she really got into the story because the writing in Dune in the first book

[1:20:20] Especially it's like, you know, it's it's wonderfully written like it really pulls you into that world

[1:20:27] So I think like set it up where you're away from home you forgot any other books

[1:20:32] That's the only book available and read Dune or here's my second strategy

[1:20:37] This may turn out to be one of those things that you like and your partner is just not that into and that's okay

[1:20:44] It's okay for you to not share everything with them

[1:20:46] There's plenty of things that my wife and I share an interest in plenty of things

[1:20:49] We don't share an interest in and that's totally okay

[1:20:52] So like I would say don't spend too much of your life trying to push this on your partner if they don't want it

[1:20:58] That's totally cool. My expectations for the movie

[1:21:00] I think it's gonna look beautiful and I think it's probably not gonna make that much sense plot-wise. What do you think Stewart?

[1:21:06] Oh, I hope it's I mean based on the the creative team. I'm guessing it's going to be long and

[1:21:13] Like contemplative

[1:21:16] And there's gonna be some sick-ass

[1:21:19] Synths in the soundtrack. Oh, I hope so

[1:21:22] Yeah, I mean all I have to say about this is I just want a second when Elliot says

[1:21:26] You know if you want to get someone into something you think they might like it say I think you might like this give them

[1:21:32] The opportunity to partake in it and if they're not interested back off. Yeah

[1:21:36] Yeah, I mean

[1:21:36] I mean your partner's life is not gonna be

[1:21:38] Probably not gonna be changed immeasurably by whether they read noon or not if it is changed immeasurably then that partner

[1:21:43] May not be the one you ultimately want to be with because like do you suddenly want your whole life to be about Dune?

[1:21:47] I don't know about that

[1:21:49] This next letter is from Lawrence last name withheld who writes Fishburne Wow

[1:21:56] Lawrence Fishburne writes sup nerds recently. I donated my kidney to a stranger right before the surgery

[1:22:03] I watched the first half of venom right after the surgery. I finished it off

[1:22:09] That takes such faith

[1:22:11] Either that you are gonna make it through the surgery and finally find out what happens to venom or that you you're like

[1:22:16] What's a movie that I'm not gonna care if it ends or not in case I died during the surgery venom

[1:22:20] Okay, sure fine

[1:22:21] There's also a feeling of like sometimes when you when you sink your teeth into a really great story

[1:22:26] You kind of don't want to end, you know

[1:22:28] Mm-hmm

[1:22:29] like the feeling I had in between the

[1:22:33] Peter Jackson films Lord of the Rings the two towers and Lord of the Rings Return of the King

[1:22:38] Was so much more excitement and like love of life in general

[1:22:43] Then I felt after Return of the King which I was just kind of sad, you know

[1:22:47] Yeah, cuz that cuz you had finished the quest I had finished the quest I had I had reached Mount Doom on my own

[1:22:54] I didn't need an eagle

[1:22:56] That's kind of how I felt when I I read one fish and two fish and I saw that there were two more fish left

[1:23:02] On the cover and I was like, I don't know. I'm having such a good time

[1:23:05] I don't know if I want to see what the I want to not know what those fish are

[1:23:07] But then I I tripped and I my eyes glanced down

[1:23:10] I said red fish blue fish and I was like, oh I have no more fish to look forward to. Mm-hmm

[1:23:16] Moving on back to the actual letter. Okay a few weeks later

[1:23:19] I wondered what the ending of venom was like when I wasn't high on fentanyl. So I tried to rewatch it

[1:23:24] I made it about 10 minutes in before the enormity of what I had done hit me and I started crying and had to turn

[1:23:30] It off. I wasn't sad exactly. I just didn't know how to process the emotion that the movie provoked in me

[1:23:37] So I have two questions

[1:23:39] Number one what absolutely terrible and stupid movies have your lives given you deep strange emotional connections to

[1:23:46] Number two, if you transplanted your organs into the bodies of strangers

[1:23:50] What horrible urges and preferences would your parts force on the recipients yours and floppiness Lawrence last name withheld?

[1:23:58] I want to say like this isn't a bad movie in any way

[1:24:03] I actually has a pretty good movie if a little

[1:24:07] Standard, but I watched the beautiful day in the neighborhood and

[1:24:13] A lot of people criticize that movie because it's not so much about mr. Rogers

[1:24:17] Mr. Rogers is kind of a supporting character and it's much more about the journalist talking to mr. Rogers

[1:24:23] but I cried through so much of that movie and

[1:24:27] But you were you were at the Alamo Drafthouse's onion night

[1:24:31] Yes, I was no, but I like I watched with Audrey and she was like is fine

[1:24:35] And I think that's because she's had to spend too much of her life

[1:24:40] dealing with

[1:24:41] You know emotionally stunted men

[1:24:44] Whereas I responded to it deeply because I am an emotionally stunted man

[1:24:48] So I was like, okay

[1:24:50] There's this thing there's this movie about a man who's learning how to deal with his emotions learning how to deal with them more

[1:24:55] healthily has a lot of like repressed anger that he needs to let go of and

[1:25:01] Here's this man showing him a different way

[1:25:04] Like really like teaching him something important and I found it way more moving than maybe like

[1:25:12] You know, maybe a very simple story

[1:25:15] Arguably deserves. Yeah

[1:25:17] But I just found a big connection to it because I'm like, oh I wish a manic pixie

[1:25:24] Dream, mr. Rogers would come into my life and and fix me

[1:25:28] Yeah, I mean, I don't know if I would come say manic I

[1:25:32] Come pixie. It's for Rogers like a placid pixie. Mr. Rogers. I

[1:25:38] Yeah, I mean my my story is not is not as deeply rooted in emotion

[1:25:44] but uh, I remember when I was in a pretty bad car accident in high school and

[1:25:50] My already broken arm got rebroken and I was bedridden for a little while

[1:25:57] My my mom went and rented some horror movies for me to watch because she's a good fucking mom and she knows her son

[1:26:03] and she rented

[1:26:05] Body parts Jeff Fahey a story about a man who is in a horrible car accident and gets his arm torn off

[1:26:15] So, yeah, that was pretty great and then and then I mean like for a stupid movie that I have a stupid movie

[1:26:22] That's arguably hateful and hurtful that I have a strong relationship with

[1:26:28] Is a movie that I've just watched so many times a kid and I'm sure it it stunted me emotionally

[1:26:35] is 16 candles

[1:26:37] Which I feel like I had to do many many years of deep programming to get out of my system

[1:26:46] Elliot I mean, I don't have anything as as deep as either of those stories

[1:26:52] I was just gonna say that when I was a kid, my sister's favorite movie was Teen Wolf

[1:26:55] So we watched it a lot

[1:26:56] And so Teen Wolf reminds me of like my very young childhood in a way that not too many other movies do so and Teen Wolf

[1:27:04] Teen Wolf is maybe the stupidest movie ever made. It's so stupid. It's it's up there. It's up there. It's incredibly dumb

[1:27:13] And the idea that like oh, we've got this werewolf story. What should we do? Oh, let's turn into a basketball movie

[1:27:18] Yeah, it's so I mean that's it's so that it's it's a basketball movie that no one is ever scared of a werewolf and

[1:27:25] The message of the movie is kind of like hey life's a lot better when you're a werewolf, which is a crazy message

[1:27:31] for a movie

[1:27:32] Yeah, but anyway, it's a very dumb movie

[1:27:34] But I have a sweet spot in my heart for it because I spent so much time with my sister watching it

[1:27:40] And as for donating body parts first, I want to say, you know, what a great thing for you to do

[1:27:46] Thank you. Thank you

[1:27:49] But you know if any part of my body got transplanted into someone else, you know, probably an insatiable lust for butts

[1:27:55] I guess that's right. If you donate your corneas. Yeah. Yeah, we'd only see butts. Yeah

[1:28:02] Oh, man

[1:28:04] Yeah, this is a hard one

[1:28:07] Yeah, sometimes I hold back the sillier question just to see what you guys will do

[1:28:12] I mean the easy answer for me is like a hunger for Popeyes. Yeah, but the harder answer would be

[1:28:20] Like a sort of

[1:28:22] like

[1:28:24] depressive self-loathing that no amount of

[1:28:27] Career or family success can ever fully erase. So thank you for saving the silly question Dan. Sure. Yeah any time to think about it

[1:28:33] yeah, that's like it's like if I transplanted my

[1:28:37] My hair onto somebody they would be given this like sense of confidence and

[1:28:44] Carefree attitude of yeah power. I think yeah, like just raw

[1:28:49] power

[1:28:52] For the right hair and a deep need to own a jeweled Furby necklace, right? Oh

[1:28:57] Certainly, that would be how I would win

[1:29:02] Direct quote of the movie, right?

[1:29:07] Are you know what you know what that movie there's a version of uncut gems where the studio got to it and made a lot

[1:29:13] Of changes and at the end Adam Sandler has his arms around his family and he goes I forgot you guys are the real uncut gems

[1:29:19] Yeah, yeah, and instead of a Passover Seder. It's a like a Christmas

[1:29:27] Let's move on to our final segment

[1:29:30] Which is recommendations of movies that we liked that you might want to see

[1:29:34] In addition to this movie if you decide to see hell yeah, really but

[1:29:39] Hey guys, it's time for us to tell about some movies a different kind of movie than the movie

[1:29:44] We were telling about before these are movies that we like movies watching on a bike movies

[1:29:50] Maybe your name's Mike their movies that we like. Hey movies

[1:29:53] We love you sometimes but sometimes we don't and we talk about you on the flop house

[1:29:59] but then

[1:30:00] There's that last 5-10% of the show, where we talk about movies we like.

[1:30:05] That's right, there are movies we could watch all night.

[1:30:08] Oh yeah, black and white, or sometimes in color too, maybe in 3D for you.

[1:30:12] There are movies that we like, and we're telling you to watch them tonight.

[1:30:17] Wow.

[1:30:18] Mixing up when the song comes in the end of the episode.

[1:30:22] Just trying to keep you on your toes.

[1:30:24] I don't care for it.

[1:30:25] So Dan, you're a big movie freak.

[1:30:27] What do you got on the plot plate?

[1:30:30] Dan, you're kind of the movie buff of the Plop House.

[1:30:33] I, yesterday, went and saw Birds of Prey and the fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn.

[1:30:44] Normally I might go for something smaller, but unfortunately this movie is not doing well at the box office.

[1:30:49] So I want to throw what tiny, tiny weight I have behind it.

[1:30:55] Yes Dan, we can see you lost weight.

[1:30:57] Thank you.

[1:30:58] We get it, you have a tiny weight now.

[1:31:00] But no, I think we were all pretty much in agreement that while Suicide Squad sucked, Margot Robbie was one of the bright points in it.

[1:31:10] And she does a really great job.

[1:31:12] Basically aside from all the jokes they made her say, she said them with quite a bit of vim and vigor.

[1:31:17] Yeah, well, I mean this is a much better version of that character and a better movie that she's in.

[1:31:23] She does say, Dan, she does say, talk about a killer app after a guy's head explodes.

[1:31:28] There's nothing that dumb in this movie.

[1:31:31] I think it's a harder acting job than it might seem at first because she has to be very funny.

[1:31:39] She has to have these sort of outsized, cartoonish reactions to things.

[1:31:44] But she also brings a weird human grounding to it.

[1:31:48] And she's doing all those things at the same time.

[1:31:50] And she's the constant source of energy in that movie.

[1:31:54] I will say it was sort of surprising to me.

[1:31:56] For a movie whose title starts out with Birds of Prey, it is definitely a Harley Quinn movie with special guests, Birds of Prey.

[1:32:03] Okay.

[1:32:04] But it's fun.

[1:32:06] It's candy colored.

[1:32:08] Ewan McGregor is very funny in it as the bad guy.

[1:32:11] Mary Elizabeth Winstead is terrific in it.

[1:32:13] I always like her.

[1:32:15] I wish there was more of her in the movie.

[1:32:17] How much zazz is in it?

[1:32:19] There's a lot of zazz.

[1:32:20] Cool.

[1:32:21] Also, for a DC movie, the action is pretty comprehensible and creative.

[1:32:27] And it's all well choreographed.

[1:32:29] And you said it's bright, which is nice.

[1:32:32] Yeah.

[1:32:33] It's like a candy colored movie directed by and written by a woman and produced by Margot Robbie.

[1:32:39] So that's nice.

[1:32:41] Yeah.

[1:32:42] I mean, if you're in the mood for a big, silly action movie, you do a lot worse.

[1:32:48] Anyone else?

[1:32:49] Well, it's awards season.

[1:32:51] So, of course, I've been—

[1:32:55] Oh, you see where this is going.

[1:32:56] I mean, especially because we're recording this on the day of the Academy Awards.

[1:32:59] So by the time the episode comes out, awards season will be over.

[1:33:03] So I've been catching up on movies that are going to be talked about in the current cultural zeitgeist.

[1:33:11] So, of course, I'm going to recommend a movie called Tammy and the T-Rex, the new R-rated cut.

[1:33:17] It's available on Shudder.

[1:33:19] This features a very young Denise Richards and a very young Paul Walker about a young teenager who gets his brain transplanted into a robot dinosaur's body.

[1:33:30] I think it's a robot.

[1:33:31] It's tough.

[1:33:32] It's tough to tell exactly what's going on.

[1:33:34] Yeah, it's like an animatronic.

[1:33:35] Yeah.

[1:33:36] It's very gory.

[1:33:37] It's very silly.

[1:33:40] When the movie begins, you get a title card that calls the movie Tanny and the Teenage T-Rex, which is not the name of the movie that I decided to watch.

[1:33:50] I love when that happens.

[1:33:52] So, yeah, if you get a chance, it's like—and it's directed by the director of Mac and Me, and it's significantly more fun than that.

[1:34:01] It's just such a goofy fucking movie.

[1:34:04] If you're looking for a solid, good-ass, good-bad movie, I highly recommend it.

[1:34:09] I haven't watched it yet, but I got an email from Shudder telling me that it was available.

[1:34:14] Yeah, it's like, damn, damn, damn!

[1:34:16] Drop what you're doing, idiot!

[1:34:17] I was so fucking excited when I got that email.

[1:34:19] I'm like, yes!

[1:34:20] And you replied, yes!

[1:34:23] I said, no reply.

[1:34:24] It's a mailer demon.

[1:34:26] Now there's a mailer demon that's haunting you.

[1:34:29] Yeah.

[1:34:30] What do you got, Elliot?

[1:34:31] So I have a recommendation that comes with a correction from our last full episode.

[1:34:37] We were talking about 80s movies, and I mentioned Howard's End.

[1:34:40] Howard's End is a 1992 movie, and you know what movie I watched recently for the first time?

[1:34:44] Howard's End.

[1:34:45] That's right.

[1:34:46] I've never seen it before.

[1:34:48] It was on Netflix.

[1:34:49] I decided to throw it on, and it's the kind of movie that when I was younger, I was like, ugh, I don't need to see one of these slow costume dramas.

[1:34:56] But watching it, I was like, oh, this is a really good, entertaining movie.

[1:34:59] The movie moves at a fast clip, and it's a movie that jumps time in unexpected ways so that you kind of have to keep up with it.

[1:35:06] And, yeah, it's a costume drama, but there's also some funny parts, and the actors are amazing in it, and I really liked a lot.

[1:35:13] There's one kind of not action-y, but the closest thing the movie has to an action climax, the scene is not really put together that great.

[1:35:20] But otherwise, I thought it was really good, and I really liked a lot.

[1:35:23] So I'm going to recommend Howard's End.

[1:35:26] If I was going to watch it but I didn't have a lot of time, would it be weird if I just fast-forwarded to the end?

[1:35:32] I mean, it would because you wouldn't know what was going on.

[1:35:35] But I just want to see what the title means.

[1:35:38] Yeah, the Howard's End.

[1:35:39] No, no, you know it from the beginning.

[1:35:40] Howard's End is the name of a house.

[1:35:42] It's the story of a wealthy family that owns a country house called Howard's End,

[1:35:49] and the relationship that pops up first between the mother of that family and a kind of what they would call at the time a new woman.

[1:35:57] This takes place at the beginning of the 20th century.

[1:36:00] These two sisters, played by Emma Thompson and Helena Bonham Carter, who are very free-thinking and liberal,

[1:36:06] and the relationship that pops up first between Emma Thompson and the mother of that family and then with the father of that family, played by Anthony Hopkins,

[1:36:13] and also Helena Bonham Carter's increasing entanglement with a lower-class man who she wants to help but who increasingly does not deserve her help.

[1:36:23] But all the characters in it are like characters.

[1:36:26] There's no like – except for – actually, that's not true.

[1:36:28] There's – Anthony Hopkins' son in it is basically Eric Trump.

[1:36:32] But otherwise, there's no like bad guys.

[1:36:35] They're just people with different conflicting emotions.

[1:36:38] I would like to say that a lot of the movies that these films inspired, let's call them 90s Miramax movies, were like these sort of staid costume, like middle-brow things that are not so great.

[1:36:53] But the Burchard Ivory movies are all pretty good.

[1:36:56] Yeah.

[1:36:57] I mean there are times in this where they're working with – especially for a movie that is mostly a domestic movie.

[1:37:04] It's like there's not a lot of spaceships.

[1:37:06] They're working with a wide frame in it and a big screen, and the way they use that screen is beautiful.

[1:37:11] Like they – it's – the screenplay is great.

[1:37:13] The way the movie looks amazing and not just like, oh, the costumes look pretty.

[1:37:17] But like the way they use the frame is really fantastic, and the story had me hooked.

[1:37:23] So that's my recommendation, Hook starring Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams.

[1:37:27] OK, guys.

[1:37:30] Well, let's just end this thing, right?

[1:37:33] And Bob Hoskins is in that too.

[1:37:35] Yes, technically, but we don't like to talk about him in our house.

[1:37:39] Robert Hoskins.

[1:37:41] Oh, you mean Robert Hoskins?

[1:37:44] I don't know him well enough to call him Bob.

[1:37:46] And Julia Roberts is in it.

[1:37:49] Yeah, barely.

[1:37:50] She has a very small role.

[1:37:51] Julia Roberts.

[1:37:52] Oh, shit.

[1:37:54] Emma Roberts' aunt.

[1:37:56] So anyway.

[1:37:57] Oh, actually, and I want to mention also Howard Zend is your chance to see Prunella Scales, the wife from Fawlty Towers, in a rare, slightly more dramatic role.

[1:38:07] Oh, nice.

[1:38:08] OK, guys.

[1:38:10] Hey.

[1:38:11] Hey, why don't you listen to –

[1:38:13] Hey, what?

[1:38:14] Some other MaxFun podcasts from our network.

[1:38:17] Please do.

[1:38:18] There's a new one out called Fanti.

[1:38:20] It's about sort of things in pop culture that might be a little problematic and having kind of a more nuanced conversation about them than maybe one normally sees online.

[1:38:33] And I listened to some of it this morning.

[1:38:36] I didn't have enough time to listen to it all, but it's very charming.

[1:38:38] The hosts are very good.

[1:38:41] It's about, like, problematic faves, yeah?

[1:38:44] Well, I think that that simplifies it a little bit.

[1:38:46] I don't know how they would like to define it.

[1:38:48] I just think, you know, if you have any interest in, you know, a smart cultural podcast, check it out.

[1:38:54] Yeah.

[1:38:55] And go to iTunes and review us.

[1:38:59] Hopefully, well, you know, don't go there to shit on us.

[1:39:04] Why do that?

[1:39:05] Don't be like the woman who used Yelp to complain about my bar's bartenders because they wouldn't let her friend bring in an outside drink.

[1:39:13] Yeah, don't do that.

[1:39:15] We'll let you bring in an outside drink, though, here at the Flop House.

[1:39:18] Yeah, any time you want.

[1:39:19] The Flop House, you can bring any drink into it.

[1:39:21] So, yeah, listen to other MaxFun podcasts.

[1:39:23] Talk about us on iTunes.

[1:39:25] Tweet about us.

[1:39:26] Instagram about us.

[1:39:27] Tell people about us.

[1:39:28] Write pigeon messages about us.

[1:39:29] If you have something good about us to say, just stuff it in a bottle, throw that bottle in the ocean.

[1:39:33] Hopefully it will reach somebody someday.

[1:39:35] Take our ashes and shoot them into space so that aliens learn about the Flop House.

[1:39:38] But we're dead, I hope.

[1:39:41] No, we won't be able to do the podcast after that.

[1:39:44] So now, while we're alive, this show is edited by Jordan Cowling.

[1:39:50] It is produced by Dan McCoy.

[1:39:53] I'd say Dan and Jordan.

[1:39:55] I'd say co-producers at this point.

[1:39:57] Co-producers Dan McCoy and Jordan Cowling.

[1:40:00] for more Flophouse in the future. See ya! Bye!

[1:40:05] I don't know the rest of the song so I guess I'll just repeat the thing that I

[1:40:16] said and I was like mmm the force is strong with this one. Yep yep you said

[1:40:21] that like Darth Vader said about Luke Skywalker because you're his dad.

[1:40:27] Okay, you're Sammy's dad. I'm sorry to break this to you.

[1:40:34] Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.

Ep. #305 - Little Italy

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