Ep. #306 - The Fanatic

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss The Fanatic.

[0:03] For anyone who thought Joker was too nuanced and smart.

[0:30] Hey everyone, welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Dan McCoy

[0:38] Wow, Dan, it's me, Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:41] And over here in Los Angeles, Elliot Kalin.

[0:44] I'm going to apologize ahead of time. I have a little bit of a cough.

[0:46] So if you hear any coughing, that is my throat manufacturing phlegm for me to expectorate into the open air

[0:55] in order to spread the contagion that's inside me because that's how it reproduces from body to body.

Stuart Wellington

[0:59] And thank you for that health warning, Elliot.

[1:01] But I think we need to get right to the meat of this sandwich. That's right.

[1:05] We're not alone in this universe or this world.

[1:09] We are not alone on this podcast either because we are joined today by a special someone.

[1:16] A someone who is on the podcast's Hey There from the Magic Tavern.

[1:23] Hey There from the Magic Tavern.

[1:25] No, that's wrong.

[1:26] That's our casual spinoff.

[1:30] Hello from the Magic Tavern.

[1:32] And Hey Riddle Riddle.

[1:33] That's right.

[1:34] Adel Rafai has joined us.

[1:36] Hey there, Adel.

[1:36] Hey, thanks for having me.

[1:37] I'll be your little cinema boy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39] Oh, boy.

[1:40] Is that a term?

[1:41] Cinema boy?

[1:42] No, I mean, it's a term I've never heard before.

[1:44] And yet the minute I heard it, I instantly understood every aspect of the relationship.

S3

[1:48] Is that a Neil Young B-side cinema boy?

[1:51] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:52] It's certainly a better title for this podcast.

[1:56] Cinema boy.

[1:56] I found it startlingly erotic.

Elliott Kalan

[2:00] That's the blurb that's going to be on that word.

[2:03] Startlingly erotic, says Dan McCoy of the word cinema boy.

[2:07] B-O-I.

[2:07] So thanks for joining us, Adel.

[2:09] Thanks for having me.

Stuart Wellington

[2:09] We brought you in, you know, as Elliot mentioned in the intro, this is a movie directed by Fred

[2:15] Durst, the vocalist for new metal band Limp Bizkit.

[2:21] And you insisted that we have you on because you're a huge Limp Bizkit fan, right?

[2:25] 100%.

S3

[2:25] I thought it was the absolute correct move for Fred Durst to parlay his musical fame 14

[2:29] years later into directing one of the worst movies of all time.

[2:33] And also, you should direct, if your name rhymes with dead worst, you should always direct.

[2:39] Always direct.

Elliott Kalan

[2:40] Well, I remember reading an interview with Fred Durst years ago, the first time he announced

[2:44] that he was going to direct a movie, and I think that one didn't get off the ground.

[2:47] And he said in the interview, the reason I made a band was so I could direct music videos,

[2:52] so I could start directing movies.

[2:54] And I was like, that's a real roundabout path to becoming a film director, Fred.

[2:57] It seems like...

[2:58] He made it happen.

[2:59] It's like...

[2:59] God bless him.

[3:00] He did make it happen.

[3:01] Good point.

[3:02] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[3:02] It's like in that movie, Funny People, where Adam Sandler's character becomes a super famous

[3:06] movie star so he can beat cancer, right?

Elliott Kalan

[3:10] Yeah, that's how that movie works.

[3:11] Sure.

[3:12] Because when death shows up to take him away, he goes, wait, are you Adam Sandler?

[3:17] Can I get your autograph on my site?

Stuart Wellington

[3:19] That's not his character's name in the movie, though, right?

Elliott Kalan

[3:22] Yeah, yeah.

[3:23] Oh, sorry.

[3:23] His character's name is Lil Nicky.

Dan McCoy

[3:27] So this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[3:32] We didn't say that up front.

[3:33] We didn't reset the premise.

[3:35] No.

[3:35] But I'm doing it now.

Elliott Kalan

[3:36] That's okay, Dan.

[3:37] The podcast has only been going for a couple minutes.

[3:39] I don't think people are wandering around the streets confused.

[3:43] Not sure if there's a god or not.

[3:44] No, no, no.

Dan McCoy

[3:44] I just knew that within seconds you'd start berating me for not having said that.

[3:49] So I was trying to cut that off.

[3:51] Sketching out all our characters now.

Elliott Kalan

[3:52] Yeah.

[3:53] Now, Dan, I don't want to be your therapist for a moment, even though I should be your therapist.

[3:57] I'm very good at it.

[3:58] But do you think you're projecting on me the inner Dan that would be berating you?

S3

[4:03] For listeners, Dan is laying on a couch.

[4:06] Elliot is behind him with a sketch pad.

Elliott Kalan

[4:08] Mm-hmm.

[4:09] That I'm just drawing pictures of Dan's hands.

[4:10] Clicking a pin.

Dan McCoy

[4:12] He's drawing me like one of his French girls.

[4:16] No, so we watched this movie, as you said, directed by Fred Durst, starring Mr. John Travolta,

[4:21] who's having a bad time lately.

Stuart Wellington

[4:23] Star of Gotti, John Travolta.

[4:26] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[4:26] Uh-huh.

[4:27] And he's best known for such films as Phenomenon, Lucky Numbers, you know, those movies.

[4:32] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[4:32] This movie, like, had something like a $6,000 per screen average.

[4:38] It was an incredible flop.

Elliott Kalan

[4:40] Oh, no.

[4:40] I mean, I think it was like...

[4:42] I think it...

[4:43] 3,000?

[4:43] Let's take a look.

[4:44] Let's look it up.

[4:44] I've got it right in front of me.

[4:45] The entire domestic box office in theaters was $3,153.

[4:50] Oh, sorry.

[4:51] $3,153.

[4:52] Yeah.

[4:52] I mean, $6,000 per screen is not that bad.

[4:54] That would be good, actually.

[4:55] No, from 52 theaters...

[4:56] More like shoebox office.

[4:59] Whoa.

[5:00] All we know is the opening day, and from 52 theaters, it earned $3,100 and some odd dollars.

[5:08] So, not a great...

Stuart Wellington

[5:10] I bought out at least one whole theater of two seats.

[5:14] For your birthday party.

[5:15] For my birthday party.

[5:16] You're like, I'm so excited to see this movie.

[5:17] Sadly...

[5:18] You're like, I'm a fanatic fanatic.

[5:19] I gotta see this.

[5:20] Yeah.

[5:21] And the sad thing was, I just went by myself.

[5:23] I bought the second seat to hold my popped corn.

[5:26] Right, guys?

[5:27] No.

[5:27] You gotta get a big old bucket of popcorn.

[5:30] What?

[5:31] I think you called it popped corn.

Dan McCoy

[5:32] Yeah.

[5:33] Like a 30s standing.

[5:33] Big old bucket.

[5:35] Why are you trying to encourage us to back you up on the idea that popcorn is an appropriate

[5:40] movie stack?

Stuart Wellington

[5:42] It's so salty.

[5:43] It's good, right?

[5:44] Yeah.

[5:44] And Stuart, you famously bought stock in concessions.

[5:46] Uh-huh.

[5:47] I bought stockings at the concession stand.

[5:51] This movie theater has everything.

[5:53] Mm-hmm.

[5:54] But to be fair...

[5:55] They have legs and eggs.

Elliott Kalan

[5:57] You bought those stockings because you thought it was a giant egg.

[5:59] You were like, an ostrich egg?

[6:00] This is exotic.

[6:01] Uh-huh.

[6:01] And then you opened it and there were stockings inside.

Dan McCoy

[6:03] Uh-huh.

[6:04] And they were wrapped around a duck egg.

[6:06] I'm kind of sad.

[6:07] Why are you sad, Dan?

[6:08] I don't know.

[6:09] I just, like...

[6:10] I mean, obviously, I don't...

[6:11] Well, not obviously.

[6:12] Who knows?

[6:13] Maybe I need pantyhose.

[6:14] But, like...

S3

[6:14] For listeners, Dan is still on the couch.

[6:16] He's now projecting about his dad.

Dan McCoy

[6:17] I don't personally wear pantyhose, but, like, my mom used to have, like, those legs, eggs.

[6:23] And I thought they were...

[6:24] Wow, this really is a therapy session.

[6:25] Talking to those mom's legs.

[6:26] I just thought they were fun, you know?

[6:27] And her eggs.

[6:28] It is fun.

[6:29] A little plastic egg.

[6:30] No, no, what I love about them is that they...

Elliott Kalan

[6:31] I'm not going to say it's not fun.

[6:34] They continue the confusion about eggs that culture has always had, where they're like,

[6:38] do bunnies lay eggs?

[6:39] Uh-huh.

[6:40] And when you open the eggs, there are pantyhose inside?

[6:42] Yeah.

[6:42] I guess so.

[6:43] Mother Nature is crazy.

[6:45] Life finds a way.

Dan McCoy

[6:48] These pantyhose were all supposed to be women, and now they're reproducing.

[6:51] Speaking of life finds a way, like, this is...

[6:53] We're...

Stuart Wellington

[6:53] Are you suggesting that if maybe they extracted DNA out of a mosquito, they might be able to

[6:59] bring back the legs' eggs?

[7:01] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[7:02] It's the only way we can do it.

[7:03] Weird.

[7:03] So, I guess, call up B.D. Wong and see if he can get to work on that in the lab.

Dan McCoy

[7:07] I apologize for further delaying the movie, but I have to tell you guys, I went to see

[7:10] the Jurassic World Live tour last night at the Barclays Center.

[7:15] So, describe this place.

Stuart Wellington

[7:16] That's why Adel's in town, right?

S3

[7:17] You play the Tyrannosaur.

[7:18] I famously play Jeff Velociraptor.

[7:22] Wow.

[7:22] The titular Velociraptor.

Elliott Kalan

[7:24] No, it's like...

[7:25] I mean, well, wait a minute.

[7:26] The title is not Velociraptors.

[7:28] There is no titular Velociraptor.

S3

[7:29] Well, there's parentheses.

Elliott Kalan

[7:32] Unless the name of the stage show is Jurassic Park, The Adventures of Jeff Velociraptor,

[7:37] which it could be.

[7:37] I didn't see it.

[7:38] Dan, tell us more.

[7:39] It was until my incident.

[7:40] Okay.

[7:40] So, this is...

[7:41] This Barclays Center is some sort of arena?

[7:43] Yeah.

[7:43] Where is that located?

Dan McCoy

[7:44] It's an arena in Brooklyn.

[7:46] Okay.

[7:47] Interesting.

[7:47] And so, they put on the show...

[7:49] How's the parking?

[7:51] I mean, guys, you're delaying some pretty sweet stuff.

[7:56] Okay.

[7:57] This is where the Nets play?

[7:59] Yes.

[7:59] This is where the Nets play.

[8:00] Now, they have...

[8:01] They've converted it to Isla Nublar or whatever.

[8:06] Yep.

[8:06] Isla Sorna, whichever one it is.

[8:07] Yep.

[8:07] Indina Menzel.

[8:08] That's what you're trying to say.

Elliott Kalan

[8:09] Pronounced like a true white man.

[8:10] Yes.

[8:11] Continue.

Dan McCoy

[8:11] So, it's basically a stunt show with dinosaurs, and the plot is just, you know, stringing together

[8:16] reasons to get from one dinosaur thing.

[8:18] Now, wait.

Dan McCoy

[8:18] Daniel.

Elliott Kalan

[8:19] Daniel.

[8:19] You have...

[8:20] Okay.

[8:20] You've really opened a lot of question worms there.

[8:22] Sure.

[8:23] So, it's a stunt show with dinosaurs.

[8:25] There are real dinosaurs performing stunts?

Dan McCoy

[8:27] I'm going to get to that.

[8:28] So, it is a story about, you know, how they have to go back to these, like, these new

[8:33] characters have to go back to the island with their, like, trained dinosaur.

[8:36] It's not a velociraptor.

[8:38] I don't know what it is.

[8:39] It's kind of like a velociraptor.

[8:40] It's, like, got a thinner neck.

[8:42] Maybe Elliot knows.

[8:43] But, um...

[8:44] I mean, I didn't see the show.

[8:46] There could be any number of dinosaurs.

[8:47] To go back to rescue her eggs.

[8:48] But, of course, InGen, the evil InGen wants the eggs to.

[8:51] Doesn't really matter what's going on, except for there's a bunch of, like, punching and motorcycles

[8:55] going around along with the dinosaurs.

[8:58] But, uh, it's these...

[8:59] Again, these dinosaurs, Dan.

[9:01] How are they...

[9:01] I'm going to get to the dinosaurs.

[9:03] Before that, though, I want to say, there's, like, two adult scientists, and then there are

[9:07] two interns that they take along for some reason on this dinosaur adventure.

[9:12] And one of the interns is, like, this kid who, like, keeps, like, dancing and dabbing

[9:17] all the time and wants to, like, live stream his thing.

[9:20] Like, he's playing to the rafters, this kid.

[9:22] And, uh...

[9:23] Playing to the rafters?

[9:24] To the rafters.

[9:25] So there are raptors in the rafters?

[9:28] And, uh, it's one of these things...

[9:29] Seems very dangerous.

Stuart Wellington

[9:29] Yeah, the Toronto Raptors are sitting in the rafters.

[9:32] It's one of these shows where...

[9:32] They're waiting for the game.

[9:33] People are in raptures.

Dan McCoy

[9:34] It's one of these shows where all the dialogue is pre-recorded.

[9:37] And so the actors are just miming along to this pre-recorded dialogue.

[9:41] And they have to mime as big as they can so everyone can see what their emotion is at

[9:46] any time.

[9:47] But anyway, the dinosaurs.

[9:48] Okay.

[9:49] The raptors are basically...

Elliott Kalan

[9:51] Keeping in mind that this is a podcast about the movie Fanatic, and we are going to record,

[9:54] like, a mini episode of the Flophouse afterwards, which would be the perfect time to go into

[9:57] detail about the Jurassic Park live.

[9:59] No, no, no.

Stuart Wellington

[9:59] I feel like this is main feed.

[10:02] This is main line.

Dan McCoy

[10:03] The dinosaurs...

[10:04] So the velociraptors look pretty good, because they're, like, those kind of puppets.

[10:07] That, like, a guy's inside and walking around, but they, like, make the legs look like velociraptor

[10:13] legs.

[10:14] That's great.

[10:15] Fine with that.

[10:16] But then, like...

[10:17] So wait, wait.

[10:17] These legs.

Elliott Kalan

[10:18] These are legs that came out of an egg.

[10:20] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[10:21] These are legs that came out of an egg, because they're velociraptor legs.

[10:24] Yeah.

[10:25] But then they would have, like, a stegosaurus come out, and it would be basically, like,

[10:30] barely moving its legs, barely moving its arms.

[10:32] It would just be on this, like, cart...

[10:34] Stegosaurus don't have arms.

[10:35] Continue.

[10:39] Sorry.

[10:39] I meant to say barely moving its legs, barely moving its head.

[10:43] But it was on this, like, cart on a track that would, like, go around the stadium.

[10:47] And it was at that moment that they were, like...

[10:49] Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

[10:52] I'm like, yeah.

[10:52] The fucking majesty of it.

[10:53] The fucking majesty of this.

[10:54] Yeah, the big sweat music.

[10:55] It's amazing.

[10:57] You know, and then the T-Rex comes out at the end, and everyone's happy.

Stuart Wellington

[11:00] Yeah.

[11:00] That's pretty much it.

[11:01] But, like...

[11:02] But Laura Dern reprised her role, right?

[11:04] Laura Dern was there.

Dan McCoy

[11:05] Oscar winner, Laura Dern.

[11:06] Yeah.

[11:06] And Phoenix Suns Guerrilla was there.

S3

[11:08] Sorry?

[11:09] Phoenix Suns Guerrilla was there.

[11:10] And Dunkasaurus.

[11:11] Yeah, yeah.

[11:12] They did have a scene...

[11:13] Dunkasaurus.

Dan McCoy

[11:13] They did have a scene at the end where they had blowtorch...

[11:16] Not blowtorch, just flamethrowers trying to, like, you know, scare the T-Rex.

[11:21] So...

[11:21] Okay.

[11:21] Sounds pretty cool.

[11:22] There were flamethrowers and a T-Rex on stage, and I'm like, this is the best type of entertainment.

[11:27] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[11:27] I really like the idea of Laura Dern having booked that tour, not thinking she was going

[11:32] to win an Oscar for Marriage Story, and now she did, and she's like, oh, I wish I could

[11:36] take movie roles, but instead I'm stuck on the Jurassic Park live tour.

[11:39] Yeah.

[11:39] But she's...

[11:40] The thing is, she's inside one of the Velociraptor puppets.

[11:42] That's the role that she took.

[11:44] Yeah.

[11:45] All right.

Dan McCoy

[11:45] So nobody even knows that it's her.

[11:46] Sorry.

[11:47] I'm sorry for derailing.

[11:49] You just set it up so well, and I, you know...

Stuart Wellington

[11:51] Well, I mean, I think this is a movie that's about...

[11:54] Velociraptors?

[11:55] No.

[11:55] ...one man's obsession with Hollywood and excitement.

[12:00] And I think, you know, we got a little bit of that from your story, Dan.

[12:03] Okay.

[12:04] Well, let's move into the meat of the podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[12:06] Wait, Dan, on a scale from zero to cats, how excited have you been by this viewing experience?

Dan McCoy

[12:12] Well, I was...

[12:13] I had a cold, so my excitement was lower than it should have been, but, you know, like seven,

[12:18] maybe?

[12:18] I don't...

[12:19] Like, it's really dumb, but I was walking out, and I was like, you know, this is for kids.

[12:23] Like, I...

[12:24] Oh.

Elliott Kalan

[12:25] That reminds me of the best...

[12:26] This is famously also the stadium where you went to see the circus by yourself.

[12:31] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[12:31] But this is the best thing I forgot.

[12:33] At the end, like, the tough guys talking to the good dinosaur being like, you know, you

[12:41] finally convinced me.

[12:42] Not all dinosaurs are bad.

[12:44] And this real, like, you son of a bitch kind of, like, voice.

Stuart Wellington

[12:47] And then behind us, this little kid goes, aw, that is so sweet.

Dan McCoy

[12:53] So, the target audience loved that dinosaur show.

Elliott Kalan

[12:57] That's nice.

[12:58] Okay.

[12:59] So, that's the Flophouse.

[13:01] Thank you so much for listening to us today.

Stuart Wellington

[13:03] Yeah.

[13:04] So, we've been brought to you by, I guess, dinosaurs?

Elliott Kalan

[13:08] Okay.

[13:09] So, the Fanatic, guys.

[13:10] Let's get to the real...

[13:11] Let's get to what we're actually talking about today.

[13:12] So, the Fanatic begins, as all great movies do, with a title card quoting one of its own

[13:18] characters.

Stuart Wellington

[13:19] Oh, real quick, Adol.

[13:20] Just interrupt Elliot as much as possible.

[13:22] That's kind of how we do things here.

[13:23] Oh, great.

[13:23] Yeah.

[13:24] Don't be afraid to just jump in and throw some shit in there.

S3

[13:26] The Fanatic answers the question, what would happen if Rain Man was a horror film?

Stuart Wellington

[13:30] Oh, yeah.

[13:31] Kinda, yeah.

[13:31] Oh.

Elliott Kalan

[13:32] I mean, Rain Man is a great name for a horror film.

[13:35] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[13:35] Because it's like a serial killer who is executed out in the rain, and then he turns his body

[13:41] into rain, and he gets people all wet, and then they slip and die.

[13:46] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[13:46] Or like, they kill a raindrops, and people are like, have you heard the legend of the

[13:50] Rain Man?

[13:51] Aw, that's just an old story.

[13:53] I don't believe in that kid stuff.

[13:54] But then the rain starts killing people.

Dan McCoy

[13:56] Isn't that basically the plot of the movie in Bowfinger?

[13:58] Chubby Rain?

[13:59] Oh, that's fair.

[14:00] They have aliens coming down in the rain?

Elliott Kalan

[14:03] Aliens are invading Earth by hiding in drops of rain, right?

[14:06] Okay.

[14:07] And it's different than the movie Heavy Rain, which is just like a flood, and there's a

[14:10] bank heist, right?

Dan McCoy

[14:11] Yeah, and Christian Slater going around on a jet ski.

S3

[14:14] And Elliot, how is it different from the video game Hard Rain?

Elliott Kalan

[14:17] Mm-hmm.

[14:18] Hard Rain, because I don't really remember Hard Rain that well.

S3

[14:21] Okay.

[14:21] And how is it different from the Bob Dylan song Hard Rain's Gonna Fall?

[14:23] I thought it was Heavy Rain.

[14:24] Is it Heavy Rain?

[14:25] It's Heavy Rain.

Dan McCoy

[14:25] What about Black Rain with Michael Douglas?

S3

[14:28] And how is it different from Rain Wilson?

Elliott Kalan

[14:30] Well, that's because he's a person, and Purple Rain is also a movie, but that's about

[14:34] a different guy.

[14:35] How is it different from Rain of Fire?

[14:38] Well, that's spelled differently.

[14:39] That's not rain like rain falling in the sky.

[14:42] I don't think so.

[14:44] I mean, it is raining dragons, Elliot.

[14:48] It's raining dragons.

[14:50] Hallelujah.

[14:51] Okay, so The Fanatic opens with a quote from Hunter Dunbar about how he's nothing without

[14:56] his fans.

[14:57] You're like, who's Hunter Dunbar?

[14:58] Let me do a quick Google search.

[14:59] Oh, that's not a real person.

[15:00] It's a fictional character.

[15:01] Let's move on with the movie.

[15:02] And we open with a tough, cynical VO from this lady who we'll learn later is a paparazzo

[15:07] named Leah, no last name given, about how Los Angeles is the city of bullshitters,

[15:12] and it wrecks people.

[15:13] And I gotta say, guys, I have been living that experience.

[15:16] I am a shell of a man because this city of lies has chewed me up and spit me out.

[15:21] Want me to tell you more about it?

Stuart Wellington

[15:23] No.

[15:23] Yeah, I mean...

[15:25] Mercy.

[15:26] I look at you and I see the sunken eyes of Jake Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler.

Elliott Kalan

[15:31] Oh, yeah.

[15:31] Well, now that I came out here to be a big-time TV writer, but now I find myself having the

[15:36] job of having to go around and kill people's pets in the middle of the night just to earn

[15:41] enough money to keep my family under a bridge.

[15:43] That's Los Angeles for you.

[15:44] Fame.

[15:45] Ain't it a bitch?

Dan McCoy

[15:45] Now, Elliot, Elliot, on a scale of slightly to not at all, how essential is this narration

[15:53] to the movie?

Elliott Kalan

[15:54] I would call it...

[15:56] How non-essential can it get?

[15:59] Yeah.

[16:00] Not only would you not notice if the narration was gone from the movie, at times I forgot

[16:05] there was narration in the movie, and then Leah's voice would pop up again and I'd be

[16:08] like, oh, this...

[16:09] Oh, right.

[16:09] I forgot.

Stuart Wellington

[16:10] Now, so do you think there's going to be a cut where they just remove the narration like

[16:14] a reverse Blade Runner director's cut thing or whatever?

[16:17] Or was it a non-reverse Blade Runner's director cut thing?

[16:19] I can't remember which one.

Elliott Kalan

[16:20] No, it was a regular director's cut.

[16:21] But which is the one that...

Stuart Wellington

[16:24] Was it the original theatrical release?

[16:26] The studio wanted the...

[16:26] They wanted it, right?

Elliott Kalan

[16:27] The voiceover, to clarify.

[16:28] The studio one, they wanted a voiceover in Blade Runner merely because the movie is incomprehensible

[16:32] without it, because it's a series of beautiful images not linked by a coherent story.

[16:37] But this is more of a double-dutch Blade Runner in that it is ugly to look at and also

[16:42] has a narration and also the story is kind of dumb.

[16:44] So anyway, the real character, the real star of the film is Moose.

[16:49] Is Moose, played by John Travolta, and Leah's like, he's unbreakable.

[16:53] We first meet him riding his moped and we learn he's a big horror movie fan.

[16:57] And also, it's pretty clear that he has, you know, a different way of interacting with the world.

[17:02] Yeah, can we go...

Stuart Wellington

[17:03] I think up front, like, we've dealt with movies that portray characters with, like, emotional

[17:10] problems and learning disabilities, and clearly Moose has something going on.

[17:14] Yeah, he's got some sort of developmental issue.

[17:16] I just want to point out that at no point are we making fun...

[17:19] Do we want to make light of that or make fun of people that actually are struggling with

[17:23] anything like that?

[17:23] Yeah, this is an awkward one.

[17:24] In front of bad acting, not anything else.

[17:26] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[17:26] Because it's an insensitive scripting.

[17:29] I mean, Travolta is putting his all into this character, and I can only imagine that in

[17:35] his mind, he is doing something...

[17:38] Nailing it.

[17:39] Yeah, he's sensitive and noble.

[17:41] He is Sam.

[17:43] But what happens in the movie is you see this sort of, like, terribly offensive depiction

[17:50] of a person who's struggling with some sort of problem.

Elliott Kalan

[17:55] He is, I assume, meant to be somewhere on the autism spectrum.

[17:58] Yeah.

[17:59] And again, we do not make light of anyone with that, I don't know, with that way of

[18:04] living.

[18:04] Like, I know lots of people who are in different places on that spectrum, and they all live

[18:08] their lives, and none of them ride around on a moped pretending to be an English Bobby

[18:12] and demanding that movie stars sign their leather jackets.

[18:15] So he goes to his pal who runs a memorabilia store, and he's so excited because his best,

[18:22] his favorite actor, Hunter Dunbar, who as far as we can tell from the evidence given in

[18:26] the movie is a bad actor who makes crap, is going to be signing at...

[18:30] He's supposed to go to a party that Hunter Dunbar is at later, and he's going to be signing

[18:33] at the store tomorrow night, and the store guy cuts him a break and sells him the very

[18:38] leather best, emblazoned with the name Rico in sequins on the back, that Hunter wore

[18:43] it in the movie Space Vampires.

[18:46] So right off the bat, this feels like a movie that was made by...

[18:49] Elliot was pausing for laughter.

[18:51] It feels like a movie made by people who haven't actually seen real movies, because they're

[18:55] like, oh yeah, he wore that in Space Vampires, and I'm like, so is he supposed to make garbage,

[19:00] or is he supposed to be famous and rich?

[19:02] Because he's got a big wealthy house, but all of his movies sound like direct-to-VOD movies,

[19:08] right?

[19:08] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[19:09] And doesn't this scene open with Travolta saying something like, I don't have a lot

[19:13] of time, I gotta poop?

[19:15] Is that the...

[19:15] Yes, I think so.

[19:16] Yeah.

[19:17] Drop the pee.

[19:17] Pooh.

[19:18] Okay, I'm sorry.

[19:19] Sillier.

Elliott Kalan

[19:20] Well, that's to add a ticking clock to make some suspense for the scene.

S3

[19:23] Well, Stuart recognized that Hunter Dunbar famously won for 1992 Best Makeup, and what was

[19:31] the other...

[19:31] Yeah, later on...

[19:32] He's not an actor.

Stuart Wellington

[19:34] They're looking through it, and he's like, later on when Moose invades his home and is

[19:39] taking pictures of his, let's say, modest collection of trophies.

[19:43] One of them is for Best Makeup, the other is for Best Stunt.

[19:47] Yeah.

[19:47] And I'm like...

[19:48] Supporting actors.

[19:49] Yeah.

S3

[19:50] Best original song.

Elliott Kalan

[19:54] So, Moose goes home and he's practicing in the mirror something that he can say to Hunter

[19:58] Dunbar.

[19:59] Again, let's...

[20:00] Can we take a moment to talk about what a fakie-sounding name Hunter Dunbar is?

[20:03] Because it sounds like a combination...

[20:05] It sounds like a character who thinks he's really cool, but really he's the heir to a candy

[20:10] fortune?

[20:12] Like...

[20:12] And that's what I kept thinking, was like, what is a Dunbar?

[20:15] Like, how does it...

[20:16] So, what did that name make you feel like?

[20:18] Did you feel like, oh, this is a tough, cool action star?

Dan McCoy

[20:21] Well, he's played by Devin Sawa.

Elliott Kalan

[20:24] So?

[20:25] Who people remember best, of course, from Little Giants.

Dan McCoy

[20:28] Who people probably remember best from the first Final Destination and perhaps Idle

[20:32] Hands, I don't know, depending on...

Elliott Kalan

[20:34] And the Stan music video.

Dan McCoy

[20:35] Yeah.

[20:35] I...

[20:36] You know, I just...

[20:37] I mean, he is kind of jacked in this, but I can't take him seriously as, like, a menacing

[20:42] figure because of my associations with him.

Elliott Kalan

[20:45] I'm merely asking about the name Hunter Dunbar.

[20:47] Okay.

[20:48] Where you're like, oh, this guy sounds badass.

Stuart Wellington

[20:51] I mean, Hunter immediately makes it seem that he's badass.

[20:55] Although, I would think that moose would be frightened of him because don't hunters hunt

[20:59] mooses?

[21:00] Oh.

[21:01] We'll see.

Elliott Kalan

[21:02] Oh.

[21:02] You know what?

[21:03] Forget everything I was going to say.

[21:04] This movie is brilliant.

[21:05] It's got so much layers.

Stuart Wellington

[21:06] So, when I previewed that joke for you earlier at all...

[21:08] I said I was laughing.

[21:10] And I forgot.

[21:11] Yeah.

[21:11] I was expecting a bigger reaction.

Dan McCoy

[21:14] I mean, I think we're all just stunned by the realization that that probably is what

[21:18] That's what they're going for.

[21:19] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[21:20] Pupils are dilating.

Elliott Kalan

[21:23] And, oh, and he's named Dunbar because when moose goes to the party, he is done at the

[21:29] bar because in the only funny joke in the movie, he asks for a milkshake with real ice cream

[21:33] in it, and the bartender is like, oh, we don't have that.

Stuart Wellington

[21:36] Oh, man.

[21:37] That was great.

[21:37] And he's disappointed.

[21:37] As a bartender, I can't tell you the number of times I have to deal with a situation like

[21:41] that.

[21:42] And I'm just like, the whole goal, all of my training is designed around how to massage

[21:47] a customer from their initial desire, which is, of course, a milkshake with real ice cream

[21:53] to something that we do carry, like a milkshake without real ice cream.

Elliott Kalan

[21:57] So could you make a milkshake, but do you have the other ingredients or do you have milk?

[22:02] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[22:02] So I would pour some milk into a glass and I would shake it in front of their face and

[22:05] be like, there you go.

[22:08] Waka waka.

[22:11] I work in a Muppet's themed bar.

Elliott Kalan

[22:15] I forgot that you work at it.

[22:16] You work at Kermit's place.

[22:17] Yeah.

[22:20] Like a cup of milk.

[22:21] Fozzy navel.

Stuart Wellington

[22:22] Yep.

[22:23] Fozzy navel.

[22:24] Oh, that's pretty good.

[22:25] Nice.

[22:25] Yeah.

[22:26] Dan?

[22:27] Yeah.

[22:27] So I would charge you on like three bucks, four bucks?

Dan McCoy

[22:30] It depends on how I'm feeling.

[22:30] I can't come up with other.

[22:31] The best I could come up with on short notice was Gonzoni, which is not very good.

[22:35] Is that for Beckeroni?

[22:37] No, no.

Elliott Kalan

[22:38] Gonzoni is the machine they use to clean the ice after Gonzoni's blood is splattered all

[22:41] over the sun.

Stuart Wellington

[22:42] I thought like Gonzoni would be like-

[22:44] A Negroni?

[22:45] In like a Muppets mob movie, that would be Gonzos like mafioso name.

[22:50] Oh, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[22:51] I wonder, they should do like a, they should do a Muppets mob movie where it's Gonzoni

[22:56] and like, and they could call it the dog father.

[22:58] Ah, there you go.

[22:59] And it's, and it's Rolf.

Dan McCoy

[23:00] Okay.

[23:01] Let's keep going, shall we?

Elliott Kalan

[23:03] All right.

[23:04] Okay.

[23:04] Let's talk about The Fanatic.

[23:05] That's way better than Muppets.

Dan McCoy

[23:06] Someone tweeted at me saying, why does Dan stop Elliot and Stu from making jokes?

[23:11] Which is a good point.

[23:11] But at the same time, these two will talk not about the movie forever if I don't keep things

[23:17] rolling along.

Elliott Kalan

[23:18] So let's go through.

[23:19] Okay.

[23:19] So Moose, he's, he, Leah has, his friend, the paparazzi has gotten him into a slick Hollywood

[23:23] party.

[23:24] Moose is not there.

Stuart Wellington

[23:25] And by, and by get into, she just pushes him over a fence into some very soft garbage.

Elliott Kalan

[23:32] She, she asked him for a bolt cutter, but all he brought was a pair of scissors.

[23:35] She pushes him over a fence and then she appears in the party later.

[23:38] And it's like, so did she jump over the fence too?

[23:40] Or did she just walk in?

[23:41] Well, yeah.

[23:41] It doesn't matter.

Dan McCoy

[23:41] Also, she's like paparazzi, right?

[23:43] That's her job.

[23:44] Like, it doesn't seem like she would be invited to be a guest at this Hollywood party.

Elliott Kalan

[23:49] No, she's, that's why they're jumping over a fence, Dan.

[23:50] Uh-huh.

[23:50] She was not invited to be a guest.

[23:52] Okay.

[23:52] But then she, all right.

Stuart Wellington

[23:53] And then he gets, he gets thrown out of that party and we find out that she's like watching

[23:57] from the corner because that's her kink, I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[24:00] So she has this, he has this awkward encounter with an actress he recognizes.

[24:03] He does not get thrown out for harassing her.

[24:05] He gets thrown out for having a backpack because no bags are allowed in the room, which was a

[24:10] strange reason for the security guard to throw him out of the building.

S3

[24:13] But to be fair, his backpack said Hollywood on it.

[24:15] So he blended right in.

[24:16] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[24:17] Yeah.

[24:17] Nobody noticed until he took it off the shoulders.

[24:18] That's the security guard has a side job at a museum and he just forgot which job he

[24:23] was at at that moment.

[24:24] That's why he was so upset about the backpack.

Elliott Kalan

[24:26] Very fair.

[24:27] Very fair.

[24:28] Speaking of jobs.

Stuart Wellington

[24:29] Are you not allowed to bring a backpack into a museum because you might put like a dino skeleton

[24:33] in there?

[24:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[24:33] You might put one of the dino skeletons.

Dan McCoy

[24:36] Some amber.

[24:38] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[24:39] I mean, I'm sure that's exactly why you can't bring a backpack into a museum so you don't

[24:42] take things.

[24:43] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[24:45] Not to rain on your brain.

[24:47] Because they were watching the Thomas Crown Affair and there's that famous scene where

[24:50] Thomas Crown just puts a painting in his backpack and walks out.

[24:54] And they're like, how does he do it?

S3

[24:57] He's sticking out.

[24:58] He can't zip.

[24:59] Sir, did your Jansport have so many corners previously?

Elliott Kalan

[25:03] He can't zip it up all the way so part of the frame is sticking right out of the backpack.

[25:08] Oh, sir, sir, sir, you dropped this.

[25:10] And he hands him like a Giacometti sculpture.

[25:13] Oh, thanks, thanks.

[25:14] Just walk that out.

[25:15] So, speaking of jobs, John Travolta, Moose, then goes on to his job, which is he's one

[25:19] of those costumed weirdos that hangs around in Hollywood for tips to take pictures.

[25:23] But he's not like a famous character from the movies.

[25:25] He's an English Bobby with a mustache and a really bad English accent.

[25:29] Well, he got hired because his accent's so good, right?

Dan McCoy

[25:33] Well, clearly this is happening because for the same reason that the only horror movie they

[25:37] ever show is Night of the Living Dead, public domain reasons, like, you know, they can't have him

[25:45] be a Spider-Man because I don't think Sony would play ball with the fanatic.

Elliott Kalan

[25:48] But at least have him dress up in like a fake superhero costume.

[25:52] I've never, ever seen an English Bobby walking around there.

[25:55] No, I agree.

Stuart Wellington

[25:56] It is baffling.

[25:57] And there's even a scene shortly after where we see another street busker performing for

[26:02] a crowd.

[26:02] And in that crowd is another costumed performer, Serial Man.

[26:07] Yes.

[26:07] I would die for Serial Man.

[26:09] That's the Halloween costume of 2020.

[26:12] Holy shit.

Elliott Kalan

[26:12] He just has a cereal box on his head, right?

[26:14] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[26:15] I mean, and like a superhero suit.

[26:18] And an attitude.

[26:18] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[26:19] And the attitude is, I'm so good, I don't need to perform.

[26:22] I can watch other performers.

[26:24] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[26:24] He is our generation's Cheddar Goblin, Serial Man.

[26:27] People are just walking up to him and putting money in his hand.

[26:30] They're just like, you just earned this just by being here.

[26:32] Thank you.

Dan McCoy

[26:33] But I also like how Travolta is underlining the fact that he's British by he just yell

[26:37] things like, the Beatles are coming.

Stuart Wellington

[26:40] Or he'll chase somebody down the street saying, Jack the Ripper over and over.

[26:43] Yeah, Jack the Ripper.

S3

[26:44] Jack the Ripper.

[26:45] At one point he said something like, here's the quine.

[26:48] And I was like, quine?

[26:50] And it took me like 30 seconds to Beautiful Mind that he's saying queen.

Dan McCoy

[26:53] But apparently he makes enough money at this job to have a fairly nice apartment and buy

[26:58] all this memorabilia.

[26:59] So I don't know what's going on.

[27:00] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[27:00] I mean, I have to assume that he's living off of like a trust fund or something set up

[27:04] for him.

[27:04] Must be.

[27:05] Yeah.

[27:05] But so he also meets Todd, a street magician, who is basically a block.

[27:10] He just puts a nail in his nose while his partner Slim picks the crowd's pockets.

[27:14] And Moose is like, oh, you're disrespecting the fans.

[27:17] You're disrespecting Hollywood.

[27:18] Because Moose has standards, you know?

[27:21] Yeah.

[27:21] When he falls into the realm of the fanatic, it's going to be a big fall because he's a

[27:25] figure of dignity.

Stuart Wellington

[27:26] And I do like these two street busker thieves, Slim and Todd, because they ham it up so much.

[27:35] Like when Slim is lifting wallets, he's like licking his lips each time he picks one up.

[27:41] And it's just crazy because if you're going to expect people to tip you, don't take their

[27:46] wallet first.

[27:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[27:48] Like, yeah.

[27:48] Like it was right when he's asking for money, the pickpocketing started.

[27:52] Like that is the wrong time.

[27:54] They're going to realize their wallet is gone and start looking around for the pickpocket.

Stuart Wellington

[27:57] So what they should do, he removes their wallet, then he has to put a new wallet back in there

[28:02] with fake money.

[28:03] With just like $1 in it.

Elliott Kalan

[28:05] Also, he only picks the pockets of people who have their arms crossed and are shaking their

[28:09] head, no, no, no, while the tricks are going on.

[28:11] Because they know there's no tips from that guy, right?

[28:13] Yeah, yeah.

[28:14] Okay.

[28:15] And also, but it is, he is very obvious about it.

[28:17] He might as well be going, yoink, as he takes the wallet out of the pockets.

Stuart Wellington

[28:20] His first lift is like $500 in singles, right?

[28:23] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[28:23] The guy's on his way to the strip club.

[28:25] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[28:26] Or after his shift at the strip club.

[28:28] You don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[28:29] It's true.

[28:30] Don't judge.

[28:31] Moose goes to the Hunter signing at the store.

[28:33] And Moose is like fantasizing that Hunter's like, hey, sit with me.

[28:37] You're my best friend now.

[28:39] But Hunter, right before Moose's turn, gets called away because his ex-wife has driven

[28:43] into the alleyway behind the store to complain to him that she had a date that night and he

[28:46] was supposed to watch their kid.

[28:48] They need a shared calendar.

Stuart Wellington

[28:48] And his kid is allergic to comic book stores.

Dan McCoy

[28:53] Well, but also, we were watching this and like, Audrey pointed out like, he's a fucking movie

[29:00] star.

[29:00] Like, we're to believe that he watches his own child when this sort of thing happens.

[29:06] Like, she would just get a babysitter, charge him money if she was mad about it.

[29:11] Like, this is like, I mean, like, unless it's like one of these, you know, you're not spending

[29:17] enough time with your kid things.

[29:18] I would understand that.

[29:19] But like, that does not seem to be the thing.

[29:21] It just seems to be like, oh, I had a date.

[29:23] Like, you're supposed to cover for me.

Stuart Wellington

[29:25] Well, I think, I mean.

[29:26] It's almost like she's throwing it in his face that she has a date.

[29:28] Yeah.

[29:28] Maybe that's it.

Elliott Kalan

[29:30] Yeah.

[29:30] I think it's more that she's trying to get at him.

[29:31] Also, it can be very hard to find a babysitter, especially at the last minute.

[29:34] You're not a parent, so you wouldn't know these things.

[29:36] But anyway, because I'm doing my part to continue the human race on this earth.

[29:40] Overpopulating the earth.

[29:41] I have trouble.

[29:41] I have a brag.

[29:43] So Moose interrupts Hunter's, obviously, stressful situation.

[29:49] And Hunter is incredibly overly rude to him in a way that leads me to believe that they

[29:55] realized that, oh, too late, that they had to go somewhere from that, that they couldn't

[29:59] start with Hunter being the biggest dick in the world.

[30:02] They had to build up to it, which means that by the time he is being stalked, Hunter is cartoonishly

[30:07] rough with Moose.

[30:09] But anyway, Moose is really hurt.

[30:10] Hunter, I guess, he's like, I'm done.

[30:13] I'm not signing anymore.

[30:14] Then walks back into the store, which leads me to believe that he just wanted Moose to

[30:18] go.

[30:18] Now he's going to stay all night signing people's memorabilias.

Stuart Wellington

[30:21] Yeah.

[30:21] That's what Adel usually does after his shows, right?

[30:24] You go out and you're like, no more autographs.

[30:26] And then you sneak back in.

[30:27] Well, I'll go to a bar next door and I'm like, anybody recognize me?

S3

[30:30] Please.

[30:31] I'm Chunt.

[30:31] Please.

Elliott Kalan

[30:35] They're like, say that again.

[30:36] Let me hear your voice again.

[30:37] And then you say it.

S3

[30:39] Bing bong.

[30:39] I'm Chunt.

[30:40] Hello.

[30:40] It's me.

[30:41] And they're like, no, sorry.

[30:42] I thought you were somebody.

[30:43] That's the worst.

Elliott Kalan

[30:45] So Leah, she shows Moose an app that he can use to find Hunter Dunbar's house.

[30:50] That's a bad idea because of what he's, what's he going to do?

[30:53] Write a complaining letter to Hunter.

[30:55] And he goes to Dunbar's house to deliver it.

[30:58] This is when Hunter Dunbar threatens him to leave even more.

[31:02] And then he writes his name really hard on Moose's shirt with a marker.

[31:07] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:08] There's a moment where it looks like he stabs him with a Sharpie.

[31:11] And I'm like, just because it's called a Sharpie doesn't mean it gets stabbed him.

[31:14] Also, he just stabs his sternum.

Dan McCoy

[31:17] And he doesn't even move the marker around at all.

[31:20] But apparently he's written his name on the thing.

S3

[31:23] The motions of his hand are like he's inflicting Harakiri on him.

[31:27] Like it's a total gutting of his.

Dan McCoy

[31:30] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:31] And at this point.

[31:32] This is after, of course, he had been jogging with his son.

[31:35] And when he sees the stalker outside his home, he goes, hey, son, go in and fire up the Xbox.

Elliott Kalan

[31:44] He is, I think, Hunter Dunbar.

[31:46] Of all the characters in the movie, Hunter Dunbar seems to have more trouble interacting with other people than Moose does.

[31:51] Like Moose seems pretty confident when he talks to people.

[31:54] Everybody likes him except Hunter Dunbar.

Stuart Wellington

[31:57] Well, I mean, Todd and Slim give him a little bit of trouble.

Elliott Kalan

[32:00] Yeah, they're cartoonishly evil toward him.

[32:02] That's true.

[32:03] They are cartoonishly evil.

[32:04] But you have to assume all those nails to the head have done some damage to Todd.

Stuart Wellington

[32:08] Yeah, and I mean, based on Todd's tan lines, it looks like he just recently picked up the trend of wearing only tank tops.

S3

[32:15] It is impressive to me that Todd takes a nail, checks to see that it's sharp.

[32:19] Someone in the audience checks it.

[32:20] And then he covers his entire face with both hands, pulls them back, and the nail is through his nose.

[32:25] It's very impressive.

Stuart Wellington

[32:26] How does he do it?

[32:28] Well, Dan, you, I mean, you're a big fan of close-up magic, right?

[32:32] Yeah, I have a nice word of sleight of hand.

[32:33] He probably just shoves it through his nose.

[32:36] Okay.

[32:37] Let me Google that.

Elliott Kalan

[32:40] It would be, the movie would make more sense to me if Hunter Dunbar was, like, trying to be friendly with him

[32:45] and then got upset because he was getting too irritated with him and then Moose snapped.

[32:50] But instead, Hunter Dunbar is just a dick right from the beginning.

[32:52] Did this seem strange to you guys, too?

Dan McCoy

[32:54] Well, I, yeah, this goes to a sort of key question I have about the movie, which is,

[33:00] who are we supposed to sympathize with?

[33:02] Because, like, I think, I mean, like, we have sympathy for Moose.

[33:05] Like, he's obviously, like, doesn't necessarily understand fully, like, the interactions he has.

Elliott Kalan

[33:10] And he's played by John Travolta, so, of course.

Dan McCoy

[33:12] But he does do, like, he does, like, do things that, like, overstep his bounds greatly, like, later on in the movie, you know,

[33:20] invading his home, accidentally killing someone.

[33:23] Spoiler alert.

[33:24] Like, he's not entirely sympathetic.

[33:27] And Hunter Dunbar, the character that, like, maybe in one of these stalker fan movies would be the one we're supposed to sympathize with,

[33:34] is a dick all the way through the movie.

[33:36] So we are left without a particular rooting interest in any of the characters, I think.

Stuart Wellington

[33:41] Yeah, and, like, even the paparazzo friend, even she, I feel like, is pretty guilty of some of these things.

[33:51] Like, she knows who she's dealing with, and she's encouraging him to do things.

[33:56] Or there's the security guard who's like, you shouldn't let those guys pick on you.

[34:01] You should beat them up.

Elliott Kalan

[34:04] Yeah, when a security guard notices Todd and Slim teasing Moose in the bathroom where he changes into and out of his Bobby costume,

[34:11] and he's like, you should stand up for yourself.

[34:13] Probably kill those guys.

[34:15] Maybe torture them first.

[34:16] Don't forget the nose bones connected to the brain.

Stuart Wellington

[34:19] Yeah, I feel like in the original script he handed him a handgun,

[34:23] and then later on when performing as a clown in a children's hospital, the handgun fell out.

[34:29] And then, oh, man, he must, like, live in a society that's twisted.

Elliott Kalan

[34:33] Oh, man.

[34:34] And Moose, later when he lashes out at Todd, the security guard is like, I'm proud of you.

[34:38] That was good.

[34:39] He's like, what kind of security guard are you?

[34:41] Like, why are you encouraging violence?

[34:44] Moose goes back to Hunter's house and leaves off a letter, but he runs away when Moose's maid sees him and says,

[34:49] hey, hey, the maid then, whose name is Dora, tells Hunter about this,

[34:54] and then Hunter decides to take that opportunity to kiss her, and she's like, no, we can't do that anymore.

[34:59] And you're like, ugh, Hunter, you're gross.

[35:01] Don't do that.

[35:02] Stop.

[35:03] And then Hunter calls somebody, I'm not sure who, and he's like, yeah, I kissed the maid again.

[35:07] Oh, boy.

[35:08] And I was like, is that his therapist?

[35:10] Is he calling his ex-wife?

[35:11] Is that his son?

[35:12] Like, who is he talking to?

Stuart Wellington

[35:13] Is he talking to Harvey Levin over at TMZ?

Dan McCoy

[35:15] It's the weather.

[35:16] He called the weather live.

Elliott Kalan

[35:18] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[35:20] And then shortly after this, doesn't he also go and, like, yell at his gardener?

Elliott Kalan

[35:26] Yes.

[35:26] Yeah.

[35:27] Well, he tells the gardener, he's like, hey, if you see a weirdo around here, tell me.

S3

[35:30] And don't listen to your music while you're working.

[35:33] I love the maid goes, there's a strange man in the backyard.

[35:37] He was terrifying.

[35:38] And he goes, you sure it wasn't the gardener?

[35:40] And I was like, oh, buddy, no.

[35:42] Bad luck.

[35:43] Bad luck.

Elliott Kalan

[35:44] Yeah.

[35:44] And then the gardener's like, hey, I'm done with my work.

[35:47] Can I go now?

[35:48] And he's like, yeah, sure.

[35:49] And that gardener, I have to assume, was like, I'm never coming back.

[35:51] This is not a job I want anymore.

Stuart Wellington

[35:52] He's like, I'm only coming back with Cuffs.

[35:55] A DVD of the movie Cuffs with Christian Slater.

Elliott Kalan

[35:58] Because he knows that's Hunter's favorite movie, and that's how to get back on his good side.

[36:02] Hey, I thought you and me could watch Cuffs.

[36:03] It was like young Tony Goldwyn.

S3

[36:06] Can I ask something?

[36:06] Do we ever see the gardener and serial man in the same place?

Elliott Kalan

[36:10] Okay.

[36:11] Just saying.

[36:12] Just saying.

[36:13] I mean, to be fair, we never see Hunter and the serial man in the same place.

[36:16] We never see Dora and the serial man in the same place.

[36:17] To be fair, we only see Hunter's son and the serial man in the same place.

[36:19] We only see him for two seconds in the background of one shot.

Stuart Wellington

[36:21] Now, is Serial Man the sequel to Serial Mom?

[36:26] I have to assume so.

[36:28] And the prequel to Serial the podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[36:31] Yeah.

[36:32] And the hit song Spoon Man was on the soundtrack because there was a bit of a miscommunication

[36:36] between the producers and Soundgarden.

[36:39] So, anyway, Moose sneaks back into the house, into the yard, and Dora is like, hey, get

[36:44] out of here.

[36:44] And starts hitting him with like a magazine or something.

[36:46] He punches her and she hits her head on a fountain or whatever and she's dead.

[36:50] You thought that was a magazine?

[36:52] I didn't know what she was hitting with.

[36:53] How out of touch are you in LA?

S3

[36:56] It was like a duster.

[36:57] Like, do your magazines come with like...

Elliott Kalan

[36:58] It was like an eight foot long red duster.

[37:01] Guys, look, I'm going to pull back the curtain and reveal that, as usual, I was watching this

[37:06] movie on an iPad while I did the dishes.

[37:08] So, I didn't pick up every single nuance of the film.

[37:11] But she's dead now.

[37:13] He accidentally killed her.

[37:14] It's the classic of Mice and Men moment.

[37:16] Or O-M-A-M-M, as it's known.

[37:20] Oh, Mom.

[37:22] And he wanders through the house.

[37:24] And this is the best sequence in the movie where Moose wanders through the house.

[37:27] He's banging on the piano.

[37:29] He picks up some antlers that are just lying around and is like, there's a Moose on the

[37:32] loose.

[37:32] And it's just running around.

[37:33] He brushes his teeth with either Hunter's toothbrush or Hunter's son's toothbrush.

[37:37] I'm not sure.

[37:38] He's watching home movies on a DV cam of happier days for Hunter and his wife.

[37:42] It's like he is...

[37:43] It's a real lives of others scenario.

[37:45] But the things he's doing, it's so clear that John Travolta, for at least part of it, was

[37:49] just kind of like, what else can I use?

[37:51] What else can I use?

[37:52] And they just followed him wandering around this house improv-ing with stuff.

[37:55] Yeah, and there's...

[37:56] Kool-Aid Man through the wall.

[37:58] And there's...

[37:59] Yeah, yeah.

[37:59] He bursts through a wall.

[38:00] He throws a big party.

[38:02] Some apocalypse bikers show up because Lisa, the computer woman that he created, wanted

[38:06] to teach them a lesson.

S3

[38:07] He puts on a leather jacket that says Rico and goes, Sandy?

[38:10] Rock me in and roll in.

Elliott Kalan

[38:12] A lot of the...

[38:13] He slides around in his underwear to old-time rock and roll.

[38:17] He also, when he wears the Rico vest, he wears it backwards.

[38:20] So it says Rico on his chest.

[38:21] And someone's like, you're wearing that backwards.

[38:23] And he's like, I know.

[38:24] And it's just unnecessary.

[38:25] So, guess what?

Stuart Wellington

[38:27] That's the thing.

[38:27] Like, character touches sometimes feel unnecessary, Elliot.

[38:30] But that's kind of why they're so important.

[38:32] Now, the great thing about this is when, while he's watching the home videos on the little

[38:37] camcorder, of course, he falls asleep.

[38:39] And I feel like a lesser director would be like, well, the character's asleep.

[38:43] We can just cut the scene, right?

[38:46] And they're like, no, no, no.

[38:47] Hold it for another couple minutes.

[38:50] I feel like that's the description of much of this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[38:53] Hunter and his son come home.

[38:55] And Hunter puts his son to sleep, right?

[38:57] Not like you put a pet to sleep.

[38:59] He puts his son to bed.

[39:00] But not like he would take the maid to bed.

[39:02] Like, anyway.

[39:03] He's sucking him in.

[39:04] You're making it work.

[39:04] But not the way you would tuck into a big dinner.

[39:07] Okay.

[39:07] He's singing him a lullaby.

[39:10] But not the same way that you would, like, sing a lullaby to...

[39:13] Oh, no.

[39:14] It is the exact same way.

[39:14] Okay.

[39:15] But we see that Moose is hiding under the son's bed.

[39:18] Moose starts poking around.

[39:19] Hunter, of course, falls asleep in a chair, which is the sign of someone whose life is in trouble.

[39:24] And Moose walks over and starts smelling him and then sits down to watch the beginning of Night of the Living Dead,

[39:29] which triggers a memory of him watching Night of the Living Dead as a kid while his mom made out with some guy.

[39:35] And I was not sure what that was implying.

[39:37] Was that implying that it was traumatic of him that his mom was dating again after what was probably a divorce?

[39:44] I think that's it.

[39:45] Maybe the death of his father that he couldn't hold up...

Stuart Wellington

[39:47] Or maybe that just he found refuge in movies.

[39:51] Yeah, I think horror movies are a safe space for him.

[39:54] It's like a cable guy.

Elliott Kalan

[39:56] What is he finding refuge from?

Stuart Wellington

[39:57] Well, I mean, like, human interaction that he has difficulty with.

Elliott Kalan

[40:01] Okay, maybe.

[40:02] Because I wasn't sure if it was, like, in Watchmen, like, Warshak's backstory is that he's the son of a prostitute.

[40:07] And she and her Johns don't treat him well.

[40:09] And I was like, are they hinting at that?

[40:11] Because it doesn't seem like that at all.

[40:12] And to be honest, if that was my mom...

[40:15] I mean, I know I'm not Moose.

[40:16] If that was my mom and she was getting back into the game...

[40:18] No offense, Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[40:19] I feel like if your parents named you Moose, it would have been like this weird irony.

[40:23] Yeah.

[40:24] Yeah, because I'm so tiny.

Elliott Kalan

[40:25] I'd be like a little moose.

[40:27] Well, they were going to name me Abs Jumbo.

[40:31] But at the last minute, they decided not to.

Stuart Wellington

[40:33] Is that all one word?

[40:35] Or is Jumbo a middle name?

[40:36] Is that a family middle name?

Elliott Kalan

[40:38] Well, it's two words, but it's one first name.

[40:40] Okay.

[40:40] So it's like a first name phrase.

[40:41] I was going to be Abs Jumbo.

[40:42] My middle name, of course, was going to be Pex McGee.

[40:44] And then my last name, Kalen.

[40:46] It's a family name.

[40:47] Junior.

[40:47] It is a family name.

[40:48] Abs Jumbo, Pex McGee, Kalen.

[40:50] That was my grandfather's name.

[40:51] So instead, they named me after my other grandfather, Elliot Kalen.

[40:54] And they never looked back.

[40:56] But if I was him, I'd be like, hey, good on you, Mom.

[40:59] Good on you for going out there and remembering that you have a life outside of being a mom.

[41:03] But I guess for him, it's just horror movies.

[41:05] Now, at this point, there were only 35...

Stuart Wellington

[41:06] You're talking about the character Moose and not your grandfather, right?

S3

[41:10] Yeah.

[41:10] There is a stellar moment where the boyfriend of the mom is like,

[41:13] what is that?

[41:14] Is that a kid in there?

Stuart Wellington

[41:17] Like, pretty obvious.

[41:18] Unless you're talking about the TV, which is a different thing entirely.

Elliott Kalan

[41:22] Yeah.

[41:23] No, he's like, is that a kid?

[41:24] It's got some kind of images on its screen.

[41:26] Kids don't have screens.

[41:28] What is this monstrosity?

[41:29] And they're like, no, no, it's a television.

[41:31] And he's like, explain.

[41:32] And they're like, well, we've harnessed the electron to transmit pictures and eventually sound over airwaves.

[41:38] He's like, airwaves?

[41:40] Hold on a second.

[41:40] And the mom in the...

[41:41] It really ruins the moment of romance because they have to explain to him how science works.

[41:45] Sad, really.

[41:47] Now, at this point, there's only 35 minutes left in the movie.

[41:49] So you're like, okay, is someone going to take someone prisoner or kidnap them or threaten them or something like that?

[41:55] Because there's not a lot of movie left.

[41:57] Moose is woken up by Hunter's cell phone alarm and runs away.

[42:01] So, nope, not yet.

[42:02] I guess not.

Stuart Wellington

[42:03] But I think this kind of establishes that Hunter is a deep sleeper in part because he takes two kinds of pills.

[42:09] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[42:10] Oh, yeah.

[42:11] One for insomnia and one to sleep.

[42:14] Two for sleep.

[42:15] One to sleep.

[42:16] Yeah.

[42:16] And Moose is looking through Hunter's pills and he goes, oh, Hunter, don't do drugs.

[42:21] But Hunter is driving his son while listening to Limp Bizkit on the radio and talking about how great it is in the least realistic scene in the entire movie.

[42:30] And then they see Moose on the road and Hunter stops his car and gets out and tells Moose if he ever shows up again, he's going to, what, put a gun up his butt and he'll be spitting bullets and blood for a week or something like that?

[42:41] I think shitting bullets and blood.

[42:43] Oh, okay.

[42:43] It's a convoluted threat.

[42:45] And he calls him a stalker and Moose is like, I'm not a stalker.

[42:48] That's the word that really triggers this.

Dan McCoy

[42:49] Yeah, it's a real like a chicken in Back to the Future Part 2 situation.

Stuart Wellington

[42:55] Yeah, I think they were originally going to title this movie Stalker, but they were worried that it would have too many similarities with the Tarkovsky movie.

Elliott Kalan

[43:03] Yeah, they were worried too many people would go to it thinking they were seeing Tarkovsky's stalker and be like, wait a minute, why aren't guys walking through the forest for three hours doing nothing?

S3

[43:13] I think there's a genuine, maybe the most genuine moment in the movie is where he confronts him and says, you're going to be shitting blood and bullets.

[43:20] And then he yells, say it.

[43:22] And Travolta goes, I'm going to be shitting blood and bullets.

[43:25] He goes, no, no, no, you'll never come back here.

[43:27] And it's like, you never said that.

[43:29] So it's like, it was like a real human moment where for once the audience is like, we're with Travolta.

Elliott Kalan

[43:35] Yeah.

[43:35] I mean, it's so rare that I haven't been with Travolta, God, in years, but when we were together, we had such a good time.

[43:41] Just the laughs and like the affectionate moments, but I haven't been with him.

[43:46] Famously under a doc, right?

S3

[43:49] What?

[43:49] You made out under a doc?

Elliott Kalan

[43:50] Yeah, yeah, we made out under Doc Hollywood.

[43:53] The movie was screening at a drive-in and we were just under the screen.

[43:57] Okay.

[43:58] That's, he, John Travolta has this weird thing where if he can't see either an image of Michael J. Fox or the actual Michael J. Fox, then he just can't get turned on.

[44:07] And so sometimes we just invite Michael J. Fox over and you have to sit there.

[44:10] Okay.

[44:10] This is a weird area.

[44:11] Feels like libel.

[44:12] Okay.

[44:13] It feels like libel because it is.

[44:16] So anyway, it's not really.

[44:18] No one believes that, right?

[44:19] There's a little, now every now and then there's been these little like animated illustrations of moose.

[44:24] Oh, right.

[44:25] To really get across the whimsy, I guess, of the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[44:28] Like, are they like meant to be like, like street chalk drawings or something?

Dan McCoy

[44:33] I don't know, but I, I liked them.

[44:34] They're cool looking, but like the first one I feel like comes up halfway through the movie.

[44:39] And I'm like, this is too late to introduce a new element movie.

[44:42] Like you can't just.

[44:43] No, I agree.

[44:44] Yeah.

[44:44] There's only five elements.

[44:46] I think we've addressed that.

[44:47] The fifth one is love.

Elliott Kalan

[44:48] If this is going to be part of your style, you've got to bring it in earlier than almost when the movie's over.

[44:53] Yeah.

[44:53] But it was, it was the best thing about the movie was those illustrations.

Stuart Wellington

[44:56] It's like the little claymation bits in Life Less Ordinary, right?

[45:00] Mm-hmm.

[45:01] Or like the anime in Kill Bill.

[45:02] Uh-huh.

Elliott Kalan

[45:03] Or like that claymation hamburger in, what was that?

[45:07] Is it Better Off Dead?

[45:08] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[45:09] Yeah.

[45:10] The best part of the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[45:11] Yeah.

[45:12] Or like in The Golden Child when that Pepsi can starts dancing.

S3

[45:15] Also the best part of the movie.

[45:16] Yeah.

[45:17] Besides, I want the knife wrapped.

Elliott Kalan

[45:19] Yeah.

[45:20] Or that part in Captain Phillips when the hot dog starts dancing.

[45:24] Mm-hmm.

[45:26] Yeah.

[45:27] And there was that part in Richard Jewell where there was like a dancing mouse.

[45:33] And he's like, cheer up, Richard.

[45:34] Let me show you.

[45:35] And they like did a dance together.

S3

[45:36] Mm-hmm.

[45:37] Okay.

[45:38] Or in The Pianist where the can of peaches starts talking, right?

[45:43] Yeah.

[45:43] That was hilarious.

[45:43] He's like, hey.

[45:44] He's like, I can suck my own dick.

[45:46] Yeah.

[45:46] That was in The Pianist, right?

Elliott Kalan

[45:48] That was in The Pianist.

[45:49] Yeah.

[45:50] They wanted to do the play on words on the title.

[45:52] Yes.

[45:53] I haven't seen Queen and Slim yet, but I assume there's a part where clouds are just talking

[45:57] about them and they're going like, yeah, go Queen and Slim.

[45:59] You're doing great.

[45:59] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[46:00] Mm-hmm.

[46:02] This is Stuart just agreeing with what you guys are saying.

Elliott Kalan

[46:05] There's that part in Little Women where, and this was not in the book, where that alien

[46:12] Gleep Glorp comes down and is like, I've got an idea for a book for you.

[46:16] Little alien women.

[46:17] Yeah.

[46:17] And Joe is like, yeah, that is a good idea, but what if they weren't aliens?

[46:23] And Gleep Glorp is like, uh, that's not my idea.

[46:25] And he flew away.

Stuart Wellington

[46:26] Because that's the thing is, Gleep Glorp is very small, like that Hanna-Barbera alien that

[46:30] floats around and talks to the Great Gazoo.

[46:32] Yeah.

[46:32] The Great Gazoo, yeah.

[46:33] And so when Joe suggested that it be called Little Non-Alien Women, he was like, that's

[46:39] insane because you are much larger than me.

[46:41] Yeah.

[46:42] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[46:42] To me, you're the size of mountains and skyscrapers.

[46:45] And she's like, what's a skyscraper?

[46:46] And he's like, just wait a few decades.

[46:48] Wink!

[46:49] Uh-huh.

[46:49] Because he can see the future.

[46:50] Oh.

[46:51] So anyway.

[46:51] Okay.

[46:52] And then the rest of the movie is him.

[46:54] Just a few decades?

[46:55] Yeah.

[46:55] I think your timeline's off, but.

[46:58] The first skyscrapers, you know, they weren't as tall as they are now, but the first what

[47:01] you would call skyscrapers were like the 18-year-old.

Dan McCoy

[47:02] Yeah, like a three-story building would be a skyscraper.

[47:04] I guess, but I mean, she would also have to like travel to see this skyscraper.

[47:08] Like, I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[47:09] You're right, and that's impossible.

[47:10] People were glued to the ground back then.

Dan McCoy

[47:12] Okay.

[47:13] Well, let's move on with the movie.

S7

[47:15] That's your issue?

[47:16] It's literally about a family where the dad is away from home.

Dan McCoy

[47:19] There's not going to be skyscrapers out on like the prairie, wherever they are.

[47:23] Like, I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[47:24] You're right, Dan.

[47:25] You're right.

[47:25] And if someone said to me three years ago or five years ago, Donald Trump's going to

[47:30] be president, I would have said, but not right here.

[47:32] He's going to be in another city.

[47:34] I don't have to worry about that.

[47:35] All right.

[47:36] We don't have presidents in California.

[47:38] Let's move along.

[47:40] Moose, as it to add insult to injury or injury to insult, Moose's Vespa breaks and he takes

[47:44] a little bit of a tumble, goes home and cries, and he has a monologue.

[47:47] He burns all of his Hunter Dunbar memorabilia, and we finally get to see a scene from Space

[47:52] Vampires, which is basically Dunbar and a woman standing in an alley, and she's like,

[47:56] they want revenge.

[47:57] And he goes, revenge is my middle name.

[47:59] And then they kiss, and I was like, oh, so he makes bad movies.

[48:02] I see.

[48:03] I get it.

[48:05] Leah is like, hey, did you post a picture on social media of you smelling Hunter Dunbar

[48:10] in his sleep in his house?

[48:11] Don't do that.

[48:13] And he blocks her from his social media and throws her out of his house.

Stuart Wellington

[48:16] Yeah.

[48:16] She was worried because he's probably got a pretty big following, right?

Dan McCoy

[48:19] Well, also, let's address a little bit of a moment, which is, I mentioned Back to the Future

[48:24] earlier, and not since this high school kid is friends with a mad scientist, has a friendship

[48:31] been so unlikely and not explained as Leah and Moose.

[48:37] Because it's like, she is a young paparazzi, and he is a middle-aged, you know, proto-stalker.

Stuart Wellington

[48:52] I'm like, I guess he's middle-aged.

[48:55] Older than that, I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[48:57] I mean, he's in his 60s, I think, right?

[48:59] Yeah.

[48:59] I would say that probably-

Stuart Wellington

[49:00] I think the super hip haircut is throwing you off, Dan.

[49:04] His audition for Deontfort haircut.

S3

[49:08] It's the exact haircut that Charlie Sheen has in Major League.

[49:12] The Wild Thing haircut.

Stuart Wellington

[49:14] Elliot doesn't like sports.

[49:16] Oh, no.

Elliott Kalan

[49:17] No, no, I don't like sports, except for, would you call dogfighting a sport?

[49:21] Oh, God.

[49:22] Don't joke about that, Elliot.

[49:25] I think probably them both being kind of nightcrawlers in their own way.

[49:28] They're part of-

[49:29] This is a real Day of the Locust, like, underbelly of Hollywood type of community.

[49:34] And so I think that's where it's supposed to be that, like, these are the weirdos and the eccentrics

[49:37] and the forgotten people of Hollywood.

[49:39] But they're not that weird.

[49:40] They're not that forgotten.

[49:41] They're not out at night very much.

[49:42] I guess so, Elliot.

Dan McCoy

[49:43] But, like, I would have appreciated, like, maybe-

[49:46] I don't-

[49:46] Again, I don't like a lot of backstory.

[49:49] Maybe a line or two.

Stuart Wellington

[49:51] I mean, I feel like-

[49:52] Why the hell they're hanging out?

[49:53] Not to provide backstory for the podcast, but this seems to be something you bring up kind of often, Dan.

[49:58] I mean, I just-

Elliott Kalan

[49:59] Dan, we haven't released yet the Alita Battle Angel episode yet, right?

[50:03] No, we haven't.

[50:04] Because there, I remember your cry was, more backstory.

[50:07] Explain the world more, please.

Dan McCoy

[50:08] And then I said, one or two lines.

[50:12] Don't like a lot of backstory, but if something is weird in the movie, I appreciate some sort of explanation.

S3

[50:18] It would be great if, at some point, Moose just turned to her and he goes, hey, don't forget, you owe me, like, 50 grand, right?

[50:23] Anyway, what were we talking about?

[50:25] Just a quick table setting just for us to be like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Elliott Kalan

[50:29] When Moose is like, when I found you in a basket on my doorstep as a baby and raised you to be a fan, we formed a sort of father-daughter relationship.

[50:37] Yeah, of course, Moose.

[50:38] Isn't that right, Liam Moses?

[50:38] I'm just saying I don't buy this friendship.

Dan McCoy

[50:40] That's all.

Stuart Wellington

[50:41] When she's like, you're my roller derby coach, I need to make sure that you stay out of trouble.

Elliott Kalan

[50:49] Dan, I've got a lot of videos to show you then of some unlikely friendships.

[50:53] A pig and a duck.

[50:55] I mean, I would love to see those.

[50:56] A monkey and a dog.

Dan McCoy

[50:56] I would love to see those.

[50:57] You know that there's something I would love more.

[50:59] A Turner and a hooch?

Elliott Kalan

[51:03] Charles Manson and Fred Rogers?

[51:05] It happened, Dan.

[51:06] Unlikely friendships.

[51:08] That's Elliot Kalin's continuing slander corner.

[51:10] Anyway, so they get into a big fight.

[51:13] This is finally, finally, I think there's like 15 minutes left in the movie when the fan becomes, I would say the fanat.

[51:20] The fan becomes the fanatic because Hunter wakes up tied to his bed.

[51:26] Moose is lying on the floor in a pool of blood.

[51:28] Oh, no.

[51:30] Kidding.

[51:30] It's just a joke.

[51:31] He's just fooling.

[51:32] So he stabs Hunter.

[51:34] Kidding.

[51:34] It was a fake knife.

[51:35] Then he leaves the room and then he comes back in a Jason mask with another knife.

[51:39] Kidding.

[51:40] And I was like, Moose, can you cut it with the pranks?

[51:42] Come on.

[51:43] And he's just like this nonstop.

[51:45] It's like this nonstop parade of pranks.

S3

[51:48] Yeah.

[51:48] And it's a cavalcade of like actual movie references.

[51:51] Like the first half of the movie is all it's like moon vampires and ghost ship.

[51:55] And all of a sudden he does like an aliens reference, Friday the 13th reference, Halloween reference.

[52:00] He pours gasoline.

[52:01] He pours gasoline on them all singing stuck in the middle of you with you.

Elliott Kalan

[52:03] Yeah.

[52:04] And it's like the it's like make up your mind.

[52:06] Does this take place in our world or in a crazy fake movie world?

[52:09] Come on.

Stuart Wellington

[52:10] And it's too bad that this guy who claims to be raised by horror movies, but he makes a clear Friday the 13th reference, but then conflates Tevin Sawa's character's performance with Jamie Lee Curtis.

[52:23] Come on.

S3

[52:25] I love when he makes him he makes him repeat that was a big gaffe.

[52:28] That line that we see at the top of the movie.

[52:30] The you're a fan without you.

[52:32] This is impossible.

[52:33] Whatever that is.

[52:33] What was that?

[52:34] Yeah.

S3

[52:34] Without you.

[52:34] I'm nothing.

[52:35] He's he's Sawa finally says it.

[52:38] And Travolta goes, say it again, which to me is like if somebody said, like, forget about it, Jake, it's Chinatown.

[52:43] He goes one more time.

[52:44] And then I said, forget about it.

Dan McCoy

[52:46] Jake, it's trying to turn to the camera and winks.

[52:48] I want to say I still don't I don't get what we're supposed to think of what's going on here or what's going on.

[52:55] What Travolta like Moose is thinking because like we're supposed to think, boy, Fred Durst, you're a double threat.

Elliott Kalan

[53:02] Filmmaker and amazing musician.

Dan McCoy

[53:04] Well, but we're like supposed to think that like Moose is finally taking his revenge, I guess.

[53:08] Like he's tied Devin Sawa up and like doing all these things.

[53:11] But like Moose is also treating it like, oh, we're just having fun reenacting like movie shit together.

[53:17] Like this is fun.

[53:18] Well, it's kind of a horror movie, too.

Stuart Wellington

[53:20] Like there is an idea of society has clearly failed this guy.

[53:24] And his, you know, his friends have failed him.

[53:28] And he's just trying to find some moment of human connection, Dan.

[53:33] That's that's all.

[53:34] I mean, I don't know.

[53:35] Like, I don't know what you're doing here.

[53:37] I'm not doing a bit.

[53:38] I'm just saying that, like, I don't know if necessarily you are supposed to sympathize with him at this point because he's I mean, you sympathize with him because he's a human.

[53:46] But I feel like there's also an element where he's like he is like he's clearly doing villainous stuff.

Dan McCoy

[53:52] No, but I'm just saying I don't know what.

[53:56] Not even like how we're supposed to like take like whether we're supposed to sympathize with him.

[54:01] But like what he's doing.

[54:03] Like, what is he doing?

Elliott Kalan

[54:04] I think the confusion here is that Moose is a character who will not have a clearly thought out brilliant plan.

[54:10] Yeah.

[54:10] But the movie should have a plan for what's going to happen.

[54:12] And it feels like the movie doesn't know it's OK if Moose is like like I could see this scene done well where someone is being threatening, they think, in a playful way.

[54:23] Right.

[54:23] But because the other person does not know how far this character will go, they're scared the whole time.

[54:29] Like they don't know what's a joke and what's not a joke.

[54:31] And that could be like really scary.

[54:32] But because the movie is not clear, it's like, wait, what?

[54:36] I think that's the confusion I'm having.

[54:38] Where are we going with this?

[54:38] Yeah.

[54:38] Like you're blaming the movie, not Moose.

[54:41] Yeah.

[54:42] Yeah.

[54:42] Because how could you blame a Moose?

Dan McCoy

[54:44] You can't blame a Moose.

[54:45] Mm-mm.

[54:45] Majestic.

[54:46] No.

Elliott Kalan

[54:47] Yep.

[54:48] Incredibly majestic.

[54:48] Yeah.

[54:49] Yeah.

[54:50] And if you give a Moose a muffin, is that what the book is?

[54:53] I sure know.

S3

[54:54] Give a Moose a muffin, he'll walk a thousand miles.

[54:56] Who moved my cheese?

[54:57] If you give a Moose a muffin, he'll ask for a milkshake.

[55:00] Strawberry.

[55:00] Real ice cream, please.

[55:01] Real ice cream.

[55:02] Real ice cream, please.

[55:02] That's important.

Elliott Kalan

[55:03] And then when you give him the milkshake, he'll take your favorite actor hostage.

[55:06] Yeah.

[55:06] And then he'll be so hungry from taking him hostage, he's going to want a muffin.

Stuart Wellington

[55:09] So now we finally get a taste of why Hunter is Moose's favorite actor.

[55:16] Because he turns on that Hunter Dunbar charm and starts giving Moose a little bit of an acting lesson.

Elliott Kalan

[55:24] Oh, yeah.

[55:24] He starts sweet-talking him.

[55:27] He starts telling him how, yeah, they're going to have so much fun and how they're going to visualize it.

[55:32] You know, actors, they need to visualize things sometimes.

[55:34] Let's visualize all the fun we're going to have.

[55:36] And he leads him through a fantasy of, like, getting ice cream together and, what, going to a movie set together or something?

[55:42] Yeah.

[55:42] And then I think getting married and, like, raising children together.

[55:46] Yep.

[55:46] With plastic on the furniture.

[55:49] Yeah, of course.

[55:49] Yeah.

[55:50] And one of them, of course, dying before the other and the other one being like, oh, he was my one true love.

[55:55] And just living in his memories.

[55:57] And you know what?

[55:57] At least he has his memories as, I assume Moose is going to outlive Hunter.

[56:00] And Moose is just kind of, like, put into a home by Hunter's son, who has really come to see Moose as, like, a surrogate father in the end.

[56:07] And the son marries Leah, even though there's an age difference between the two of them.

[56:11] Because he's just a teen and she's kind of like a young woman.

[56:14] But it's a real Jake Lloyd, Natalie Portman type attraction where he's going to grow up and they're going to get married secretly on another planet.

[56:21] But Hunter Dunbar's son, the thing is he doesn't like sand because it gets everywhere.

[56:25] Yep.

[56:25] It's itchy and scratchy.

[56:27] But eventually, itchy and scratchy go on to be Bart Simpson's favorite cartoon characters.

[56:33] So Hunter convinces Moose to untie him.

[56:36] And then he's like, hey, tricked you.

[56:38] And he shoots Moose and then stabs him in the eye.

[56:41] And he shoots his hand off.

[56:42] Yeah.

[56:43] Like, it's crazy.

S3

[56:43] He shoots off his smell sticks is what I think, I assume Moose calls his fingers because he keeps doing that.

[56:48] He keeps doing that little ear rub and then sniffing his fingers.

[56:52] You know how people do.

[56:53] So you know he calls his fingers his smell sticks.

[56:56] You just know it.

[56:56] He's got a little peek into Adel's mind.

[56:59] Cinema Boy back at it again with the smell sticks.

Elliott Kalan

[57:02] That's not canon, but in the Tales from the Fanatic book that you write, he's going to refer to them as smell sticks.

[57:09] Anyway, and Hunter goes way overboard in destroying Moose.

[57:14] But then he kind of feels bad about it.

[57:16] And so he just lets Moose go.

[57:18] Yeah, well, he has a moment of like, what am I doing?

Dan McCoy

[57:20] Hold on.

[57:20] I shouldn't kill this guy.

[57:22] At the point where he.

Elliott Kalan

[57:23] I've become the space vampire.

S3

[57:25] Yeah.

[57:25] At the point where he takes out the knife and starts to cut Moose.

[57:28] I did burst into a song singing, everybody cut Moose, cut Moose.

[57:33] Very nice.

[57:34] Had to.

[57:34] Very nice.

Elliott Kalan

[57:37] There's a movie about a town where stabbing is illegal.

[57:39] And Kevin Bacon's got to change that.

[57:41] And everyone in town is like, wait, this is a good law.

[57:43] Why are you trying to change this?

Dan McCoy

[57:45] Yeah, I mean, that's most towns.

Elliott Kalan

[57:48] I wouldn't go as far as to say every town.

Dan McCoy

[57:50] It's not unusual for someone to move to a town where stabbing is illegal.

Elliott Kalan

[57:54] And it's not unusual to fall in love with anyone.

Stuart Wellington

[57:57] So, once again, I do like any time a character sleeps in a bed with a, like a lever action

[58:03] rifle above it.

[58:05] And like a giant buoy knife in his, like, in the little drawer next to his bed.

[58:10] Was the knife loose or did it have a sheath?

[58:13] I think it was loose.

[58:14] Oh, it had a sheath.

[58:15] Okay.

[58:15] He took it out of a sheath.

Elliott Kalan

[58:16] Yeah.

[58:16] Because he was.

[58:17] He's not a maniac.

[58:19] He was in the direct-to-video sequel to Crocodile Dundee, Crocodile Dundee, The Next Generation.

[58:23] And that's where he got that knife from.

[58:25] That's not a knife.

[58:25] This is a Sharpie.

[58:28] Well, earlier he said to, he said to a friend, he's like, I've got the real knife from Blood

[58:32] Sacrifice or something.

[58:33] I can go get it and sign it for you.

[58:34] And I wondered if they were like, good.

[58:36] Now we can have him stab him because we had a line of dialogue saying he has a knife in

[58:39] the house.

[58:40] Check off his knife.

[58:40] Good filmmaking.

[58:42] Moose somehow wanders back to Hollywood Boulevard and the tourists there think that his horrific

[58:47] wounds are a costume and these two kind of Euro trash tourists want to take a picture

[58:51] with him.

[58:51] And he's just like, boo, boo, boo, boo.

[58:53] But in a way he's achieved his dream.

[58:55] He's finally a character people want to be around.

[58:58] Not an English Bobby that no one wants to be near, but a horrifically wounded man crying

[59:03] while wandering down the street.

[59:06] And Leah finds him, double parks her car to go get him, and then just wanders off with

[59:10] him.

[59:11] And he sees the star for, I forget which actor or actress, which actor on the ground and

[59:18] starts talking about how great they are.

[59:19] And then, uh-oh, movie's not over.

[59:21] At Hunter Dunbar's house, the police arrest him because Dora's body has still been lying

[59:27] there.

[59:27] For like three days.

[59:28] Days, yes.

[59:29] For days.

[59:30] And that Hunter, like, or his son or anybody never went out and noticed that, one, never

[59:35] noticed that Dora was missing, but also never noticed that Dora's body was just lying on

[59:39] the ground outside his house.

[59:40] Right.

Dan McCoy

[59:40] Well, the gardener is the one who brings the police, Elliot.

[59:42] So maybe the gardener finds the body in the back.

Stuart Wellington

[59:44] Well, the gardener has been working undercover, right?

[59:47] What?

[59:48] I thought that was pretty clear.

[59:48] The gardener's a serial man who works with the cops.

S3

[59:51] It's not against them.

Stuart Wellington

[59:52] He's not a vigilante.

Elliott Kalan

[59:53] He's an informant.

[59:54] Well, when they need help, they put the serial signal up in the sky, which is, of course,

[59:59] a light that's just shaped like a bowl of cereal with a spoon sticking out of it.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:03] But yeah, like Hunter Dunbar gets taken away in handcuffs for the murder of this woman.

[1:00:08] And we're supposed to think, like, oh, how dark and, like, twisted, I guess, this is.

[1:00:12] But I was sitting there being like, this case is going to fall apart immediately.

[1:00:16] Like, John Travolta's blood is all over the place.

S3

[1:00:19] On social media, he posted a video of him kissing his head in his house.

[1:00:23] And his 40,000 followers saw it.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:26] And if he murdered this woman, like, he would not just let her, like, stay in his backyard.

[1:00:32] He would do something about, like, this is all, none of it hangs together to frame this guy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:37] Hunter Dunbar, he's a star.

[1:00:38] He thinks he can get away with anything, man.

[1:00:40] So it's time for him to be.

[1:00:41] I think the audience is supposed to be like, good.

[1:00:43] Hunter's going to get taken down a peg.

[1:00:45] But you're right.

[1:00:45] Almost instantly, they're going to be like, oh, you have an alibi for when this happened?

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:49] You're imagining his lawyer being like, people, the jury.

[1:00:53] Why would Hunter Dunbar murder his housekeeper and then just leave the body in the backyard?

[1:00:59] He would clearly chop it up and eat it.

[1:01:01] Yeah, exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:03] Not just to get rid of the evidence,

[1:01:05] but because my client is a cannibal.

S3

[1:01:09] Objection, your honor.

[1:01:10] The liquefied eye does not indicate anything.

[1:01:13] And I think the maid was still holding the letter he wrote.

[1:01:16] Right?

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:17] Clearly the maid was holding evidence.

[1:01:21] That's why I had to eat the body to gain her memories.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:23] I point you to the nest cameras that clearly recorded a maniac coming in and killing the maid and then attacking my client.

[1:01:34] And they're like, hmm.

[1:01:35] The prosecutors are like, we want to issue a writ of Hunter Dunbar is a jerk.

[1:01:39] And the judge is like, I'll allow it.

[1:01:41] And that's why he goes to jail.

[1:01:42] To the worst jail.

[1:01:43] There are moose tracks all over the place.

[1:01:47] There was a moose on the loose, ladies and gentlemen of the jury.

[1:01:52] This unidentified, and my client Hunter has dedicated himself to finding the real moose who committed these ghastly crimes.

[1:01:59] Meanwhile, his son is still sleeping.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:00] So are you saying you'd like at the very end for there to be some kind of an update as to how the criminal proceedings went?

[1:02:07] No, I'm not saying that at all.

[1:02:09] I kind of feel that way about most detective shows.

[1:02:12] Like every episode of Elementary, I'm like, I want to know if Sherlock actually caught this guy.

[1:02:17] Yeah, you're right, sir.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:18] I want an unbreakable style paragraph to come up on the screen.

[1:02:22] Paragraph of text.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:23] To explain what happened to everyone afterwards.

[1:02:25] They do call him unbreakable at the beginning of the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:29] There's a little voiceover from Leah where she says that moose lost his hand and his eye, but he never lost his love of Hollywood or something like that.

S3

[1:02:36] And we do get a little drawing, one of those famous drawings, with him with a pirate eye patch, a hook, and then he sprouts angel wings, and then Leah jumps on his back, and they probably fly into eternity.

[1:02:46] Guess he's dead.

[1:02:48] Yeah, I don't know what that's supposed to signify.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:50] That's all that's about.

[1:02:51] I mean, they should have shown him in costume as a pirate talking to tourists, because now you can really do that, and that's a real thing.

[1:02:59] Yeah.

[1:02:59] That people might want to take a picture.

[1:03:00] Like, now he's Jack Sparrow, and just shown him being like, hello, it's me, Jack Sparrow.

[1:03:05] Here come the Beatles.

[1:03:07] Jack Sparrow didn't have, like, a hook for a hand or an eye patch, and he's like, hmm, I'm Jack Sparrow having seen hard times.

S3

[1:03:18] To be fair, he wouldn't have a hook for a hand.

[1:03:20] He would have five little hooks as fingers.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:23] That's true.

[1:03:24] Why don't people ever do that?

[1:03:25] Anyway, moving on to Final Judgments.

[1:03:28] Is this a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie you kind of like?

[1:03:31] I'm going to say, look, this movie is hateful.

[1:03:34] This is a hateful movie.

[1:03:35] Yeah.

[1:03:36] Like, Fred Durst clearly, like, hates his fans, hates the people that made him famous.

[1:03:44] This is his idea of what fans are like.

[1:03:47] But oddly enough, he, like, makes the star also hateful, and I think it might be just because he doesn't want to be accused of hating his fans.

[1:03:56] He's like, well, if everyone's horrible, then no one's horrible.

[1:03:59] No, and there's also probably a certain amount of, like, I don't know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:02] I mean, I feel like it's, when you work in that field, there's a chance that you could see, like, other people as being worse.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:10] Yeah, no, I know.

[1:04:11] Well, that's what I'm saying.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:12] Now, see, I'm going to take issue, Dan, I think that, and I can't get inside the mind of Fred Durst, I can't get through that red Yankees cap he's wearing backwards,

[1:04:20] but I would say that I think you're misreading it, and that Moose is supposed to be a figure of sympathy, that this is like Joker.

[1:04:28] He's a figure of sympathy who's pushed too far by this terrible system that destroys people, a system known as Hollywood.

[1:04:35] Dream factory?

[1:04:36] More like nightmare factory.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:37] I mean, scream factory's right there on the table, I mean.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:40] Oh, you're right.

[1:04:41] But they did make scream, both the movies and the TV shows, so people might be like, yeah, it's a factory that makes scream.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:47] And, I mean, it's an actual company that really distributes horror movies, but.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:50] Yeah, that's true.

[1:04:51] Okay, dream factory?

[1:04:53] More like ice cream factory.

[1:04:54] There we go.

[1:04:55] Okay, that fits the character of the movie.

[1:04:58] So did Elliot answer your question, Dan?

[1:05:00] No, I don't.

[1:05:01] I've lost the thread of what's going on.

[1:05:02] No, I think Dan sees this as an attack on Moose, and I see it as Moose being the misguided hero, and the star is the bad guy.

[1:05:12] But they're both treated terribly by the movie, and they're both unlikable.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:16] I don't understand where my sympathy is supposed to lie, and I'm not one of the people who, like, thinks that there has to necessarily be a sympathetic character in a story.

[1:05:25] But at the same time, I think the movie thinks there is one, and I disagree with the movie on that point.

[1:05:31] Okay, that's fair.

[1:05:32] So you would call it a good movie?

[1:05:33] I'm going to go bad, bad.

[1:05:37] It's really hard to get past the performance John Travolta is giving and the performance the movie has given John Travolta.

[1:05:44] I think he's doing it as best he can with a completely misguided thing.

[1:05:51] Like, I don't know, it's upsetting to have this person, who obviously is supposed to have developmental problems, like, go through all of these things.

[1:06:01] And, like, this is the story that Fred Durst wanted to tell.

[1:06:03] If you can turn off the caring part of your brain, it's kind of interesting to watch the movie just to see how misguided everything in it is.

[1:06:10] But I wouldn't necessarily recommend that to anyone.

[1:06:13] So I guess I'll go bad, bad.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:15] Yeah, I mean, I'll say it's a bad, bad movie.

[1:06:17] I don't think there's much redeeming about it.

[1:06:20] I mean, like, Travolta throws himself into this role like he's thrown himself into a couple other bad movie roles, which I guess I appreciate that.

[1:06:29] Like, he's not phoning it in, although maybe there's times when you kind of wish he was.

[1:06:35] So bad, bad.

S3

[1:06:37] I would say if the roles were reversed, if John Travolta played himself and Devin Sawa just played a stalker, this movie would be amazing.

[1:06:44] Yeah.

[1:06:45] So I think they miscast.

[1:06:46] That's actually a pretty good insight.

[1:06:47] Yeah.

[1:06:48] Miscast.

[1:06:48] I think they tried to have Travolta play himself.

[1:06:51] He wanted to go for the Oscar.

[1:06:52] Took a huge swing.

[1:06:53] Swung for the fences.

[1:06:54] Threw his back out.

[1:06:55] Bad movie.

[1:06:56] But I do think it is Durst's fault.

[1:06:58] It felt like every scene they had one take.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:01] Yeah.

[1:07:02] Do you think they didn't cast it the other way around because they were worried that Devin Sawa would be too typecast having played Stan?

[1:07:10] Yeah.

S3

[1:07:10] He's like, I don't want to play Stan again.

[1:07:12] And Travolta's like, I don't want to play me again.

[1:07:16] If there's a serial man spinoff, I will, anything that's needed, I will find that.

[1:07:21] I will watch that, whatever's possible.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:23] Guys, I understand all your objections to the movie, it being a bad, bad movie, and it is a not pleasant movie.

[1:07:29] But to see John Travolta dressed as an English Bobby doing a terrible English accent for no reason,

[1:07:35] and to have the characters in the movie talking about how great the band of the director is,

[1:07:40] I'm going to have to call this a problematic good, bad movie, I think.

[1:07:44] Okay.

S3

[1:07:44] There's also a point where John Travolta literally says into the mirror, this is a bad script.

[1:07:50] Yeah, yeah, that's true.

S5

[1:07:57] If you're looking for a new comedy podcast, why not try the Beef and Dairy Network?

[1:08:02] It won Best Comedy at the British Podcast Awards in 2017 and 2018.

[1:08:07] Also, I love...

[1:08:09] There were no horses in this country until the mid to late 60s.

[1:08:12] Specialist bovine arse vet.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:14] Both of his eyes are squid's eyes.

S3

[1:08:16] Yogurt buffet.

[1:08:17] She was married to a bacon farmer who saved her life.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:21] Farm-raised snow leopard.

S5

[1:08:25] Snow.

[1:08:25] Download it today.

[1:08:26] That's the Beef and Dairy Network podcast from MaximumFun.org.

[1:08:31] Also, maybe start at episode 1.

[1:08:32] Or weirdly, episode 36, which for some reason requires no knowledge of the rest of the show.

S6

[1:08:37] Hello there, ghouls and gals.

[1:08:40] It is I, April Wolf.

[1:08:42] I'm here to take you through the twisty, scary, heart-pounding world of genre cinema on the exhilarating program known as Switchblade Sisters.

[1:08:51] The concept is simple.

[1:08:52] I invite a female filmmaker on each week and we discuss their favorite genre film.

[1:08:57] Listen in closely to hear past guests like the Babadook director, Jennifer Kent.

[1:09:02] Winter's Bone director, Deborah Granik.

[1:09:05] And so many others every Thursday on MaximumFun.org.

[1:09:09] Tune in if you dare.

[1:09:13] It's actually a very thought-provoking show that deeply explores the craft and philosophy behind the filmmaking process while also examining film through the lens of the female gaze.

[1:09:19] So, like, you should listen.

[1:09:21] Switchblade Sisters.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:24] Let's do our sponsors.

[1:09:27] Oh.

[1:09:28] Hey.

[1:09:28] Let's do them.

[1:09:29] Yeah, let's just do them.

[1:09:31] The Flophouse is in large part funded by listeners like you and the MaxFunDrive is just around the corner.

[1:09:37] But also, our show is sponsored in part by Raycon.

[1:09:43] Our wireless world calls for wireless earbuds.

[1:09:47] Check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon.

[1:09:52] Raycon's stylish and discreet earbuds start at about half the price of other premium wireless earbuds on the market.

[1:09:58] And they sound just as amazing as other top audio brands.

[1:10:02] And their latest model, E25, is their best one yet with six hours of playtime, seamless Bluetooth pairing, more bass, and a more compact design that gives you a nice noise-isolating fit.

[1:10:12] The company was co-founded by RayJay.

[1:10:16] And celebrities like Cardi B are obsessed with Raycons.

[1:10:19] Pick up a pair and see what all the hype is about.

[1:10:21] Guys, I was dubious about wireless headphones for reasons I probably shouldn't get into because they wouldn't want me to provide possible negatives.

[1:10:31] But I'm saying that the possible negatives haven't had any of them with these earbuds.

[1:10:36] I've had a great time with them.

[1:10:38] They come with a little charging case you can carry around with.

[1:10:41] Okay, yeah.

[1:10:43] You tap on your old ear and it stops the podcast you're listening to without having to get your phone out.

[1:10:50] What if you rub on your ear and then smell it?

[1:10:52] You can do that if you like.

[1:10:54] I mean, you can do that without Raycons.

[1:10:56] You can do it with Raycons.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:57] But the Raycons don't negatively affect your use of smelling sticks.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:00] The ear smelling is still a thing you can do.

[1:11:04] I don't know.

[1:11:05] I've appreciated being able to walk around and not get my wire caught on, say, a cabinet drawer, as has happened several times.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:13] Considering wires in my life, my headphone wires are constantly getting caught on everything.

[1:11:18] On the dishwasher, cabinets, doors, children, small animals, car doors, all sorts of things.

[1:11:28] To live in a wireless world.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:30] What?

[1:11:30] You get it caught on spikes, hooks.

[1:11:33] Angels, buffies.

[1:11:34] Hellraiser headers.

[1:11:37] Willows.

[1:11:39] Childs.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:41] Anyas.

[1:11:41] I think it's easy to underestimate how much nicer things are when you don't have to worry about wires until you get to that point.

[1:11:51] It's like, eh, this wire is fine.

[1:11:52] And then you leave without a wire and you're like, oh, this is much better.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:55] So now's the time to get the latest and greatest from Raycon.

[1:11:58] Get 15% off your order at buyraycon.com slash flop.

[1:12:03] That's buyraycon.com slash flop for 15% off Raycon wireless earbuds.

[1:12:10] I'm going to say buy.

[1:12:11] Or earbuds.

[1:12:12] The whole body is an ear.

[1:12:13] Yeah.

[1:12:13] I'm going to say the Raycon.

[1:12:15] Ultimate fantasy.

S3

[1:12:16] Best John Mayer song.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:18] The Raycon for the ease of getting to buyraycon.com is spelled R-A-Y-C-O-N.

[1:12:25] That's Ray like the rays of the sun and con as in con artist.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:30] All right.

[1:12:32] Again, Dan, maybe you want to pick a different word for con.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:34] Okay, con as in against.

[1:12:38] Wait, no.

[1:12:39] I mean, con is a negative prefix.

[1:12:41] There's no good way of saying that.

[1:12:43] Con Air is a good movie.

[1:12:44] Con Air is a good movie.

[1:12:45] Contract.

[1:12:46] You need a contract.

[1:12:47] Contact with Jodie Foster.

[1:12:49] Confidential.

[1:12:49] That's great.

[1:12:50] L.A. Confidential.

[1:12:51] Yeah.

[1:12:53] We have a Jumbotron.

[1:12:55] I believe I gave that to Elliot.

[1:12:57] So Elliot, take it away.

[1:12:58] Sorry, you gave that to Abs Jumbo?

[1:13:00] Mm-hmm.

[1:13:01] You gave it to Abs Jumbo.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:02] Jumbotron.

[1:13:02] Abs Jumbo.

[1:13:04] Pex McGillicuddy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:05] Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chumbo-tron.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:07] Thank you.

[1:13:08] If the only thing more jumbo than this is me.

[1:13:10] So who is this message for?

[1:13:12] It's for Tam Tran.

[1:13:13] And the message is from Chris Morgan.

[1:13:15] And it says,

[1:13:16] To my friend Tam Tran,

[1:13:17] Oh, that's a nice message.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:32] And there's a couple of, like,

[1:13:33] things to remember in there.

[1:13:35] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:36] Mm-hmm.

[1:13:37] Mm-hmm.

[1:13:37] Like an offer for a ladder.

[1:13:38] Mm-hmm.

[1:13:39] A couple reminders about things.

[1:13:40] Hey, Dan, you know what else we got coming up?

[1:13:41] What?

[1:13:42] A live show.

[1:13:44] Oh!

[1:13:45] Okay.

[1:13:45] See, Adl,

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:46] sometimes we don't just record a podcast

[1:13:48] in Dan's living room

[1:13:49] and in Elliot's closet.

[1:13:51] We sometimes record them

[1:13:53] in front of a live audience.

[1:13:54] How does that go?

[1:13:55] So, well, not well, but...

[1:13:57] And can people scream at you, or...

[1:13:59] Oh, it's almost exclusively.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:01] I mean, they can, and they do.

[1:14:03] So on Saturday, April 18th, 2020,

[1:14:06] only three days after Tax Day in America.

[1:14:08] But hey, that doesn't matter,

[1:14:09] because we're not going to be in the United States.

[1:14:10] We're going to be in Toronto, Canada.

[1:14:12] That's right.

[1:14:13] We're returning to Toronto

[1:14:14] in the Royal Cinema

[1:14:15] as part of the What the Film Festival.

[1:14:17] As has been told to me recently,

[1:14:19] we will be steps away

[1:14:20] from the setting of Little Italy,

[1:14:22] the movie we watched

[1:14:23] and did a podcast of recently.

[1:14:25] So see if the Flophouse boys

[1:14:27] are going to get the shit kicked out of them.

[1:14:29] Saturday, April 18th, 2020,

[1:14:31] in Toronto

[1:14:31] as part of the What the Film Festival.

[1:14:33] Now, we're not fully sure

[1:14:34] what movie we're going to watch,

[1:14:35] but it's going to be a smaller,

[1:14:37] weirder movie

[1:14:37] because it's part of the

[1:14:39] What the Film Festival.

[1:14:39] And Dan, you were saying

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:40] you've been practicing

[1:14:41] some kind of special dance

[1:14:43] for the thing

[1:14:44] that people can only see to believe.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:47] It's sort of like

[1:14:48] if you combine

[1:14:50] sort of a Floss

[1:14:53] and a Charleston

[1:14:54] at the same time.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:55] I'm picturing it

[1:14:57] and,

[1:14:57] oh,

[1:14:58] nope,

[1:14:58] I'm dead.

[1:14:59] See?

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:00] So some sort of Floralston.

[1:15:01] Okay, interesting.

[1:15:02] Well, you'll see that

[1:15:03] Saturday, April 18th.

[1:15:04] We will be doing more live shows

[1:15:05] in the year,

[1:15:06] but we don't have any scheduled yet.

[1:15:07] So if you're in the Toronto general area

[1:15:09] or even, you know,

[1:15:10] in upstate New York,

[1:15:12] come on and see this show

[1:15:13] because I don't know for sure

[1:15:14] when we're going to be back around there.

[1:15:15] Yeah, if your family

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:16] is maybe visiting Niagara Falls,

[1:15:20] why don't you extend

[1:15:21] that little vacay

[1:15:22] and come see us?

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:23] Yeah, slowly turn,

[1:15:24] step by step,

[1:15:25] and come see us

[1:15:26] at the Royal Cinema in Toronto.

[1:15:27] Now, another thing

[1:15:28] I'd like to promote

[1:15:30] is an exciting

[1:15:32] MaxFun product,

[1:15:33] or should I say

[1:15:34] MaximusFun product,

[1:15:36] because iPodius

[1:15:38] is finally here.

[1:15:39] That's right, iPodius,

[1:15:40] my podcast with John Hodgman

[1:15:42] where we are recapping

[1:15:43] and discussing

[1:15:44] the British miniseries

[1:15:45] iPodius from 1976,

[1:15:48] I think it was.

[1:15:49] 1970, yes,

[1:15:50] it was in the 70s.

[1:15:51] Anyway, iPodius,

[1:15:52] we are talking about it,

[1:15:53] recapping it.

[1:15:54] By the end of the series,

[1:15:55] I found myself really moved

[1:15:56] by the conversations

[1:15:57] I was having with Hodgman about it,

[1:15:58] but we're also funny.

[1:16:00] You'll hear from our producer,

[1:16:01] Jordan Cowling,

[1:16:02] also who works with us

[1:16:03] on The Flophouse,

[1:16:04] and a number of guest stars

[1:16:06] John Hodgman talked to

[1:16:07] Sir Patrick Stewart during it.

[1:16:09] I talked to Patricia Quinn,

[1:16:11] who's one of the stars

[1:16:12] of the series,

[1:16:13] and we got a lot of other

[1:16:14] celebrity cameos,

[1:16:16] and so iPodius,

[1:16:17] it's on all your podcast

[1:16:19] places right now.

[1:16:21] The first episode's out.

[1:16:22] By the time this episode

[1:16:23] is released,

[1:16:23] the second episode

[1:16:24] will be out,

[1:16:24] and who knows how many more,

[1:16:25] so iPodius from MaximusFun.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:28] I want to tell everyone,

[1:16:29] you know,

[1:16:30] Audrey and I watched

[1:16:32] the first two episodes

[1:16:33] of iPodius,

[1:16:34] which were released

[1:16:35] as one episode

[1:16:36] in the U.S.

[1:16:38] Watched those,

[1:16:39] and then we put the iPodius

[1:16:41] on the big speaker,

[1:16:44] we Bluetoothed it over

[1:16:45] to the speaker,

[1:16:46] listened while we were

[1:16:47] doing chores around the house.

[1:16:49] A delightful Saturday.

[1:16:50] So much fun.

[1:16:52] Thank you very much.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:53] So are you recommending

[1:16:54] his podcast or Saturdays?

[1:16:57] Or Bluetooth.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:59] All of it.

[1:17:00] All of it's great.

[1:17:03] So we should move on, though,

[1:17:04] to letters from listeners.

[1:17:06] Uh-huh.

[1:17:07] Listeners like you.

[1:17:08] Sorry?

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:08] Before we start the letters,

[1:17:10] normally I have a song

[1:17:11] during this section

[1:17:13] where I sing about letters.

[1:17:14] Of course,

[1:17:15] as I mentioned at the top,

[1:17:16] I have a cough,

[1:17:16] my throat is not feeling so great,

[1:17:18] so I feel like I shouldn't

[1:17:19] do a song

[1:17:20] for the letters section today.

[1:17:22] Oh, okay.

[1:17:23] Can you do a limerick

[1:17:24] or something?

[1:17:25] Luckily, luckily,

[1:17:26] luckily,

[1:17:27] my old friend Randy Newman

[1:17:28] happens to be here,

[1:17:29] and he said he's saying one,

[1:17:31] so take it away, Randy.

[1:17:32] You know,

[1:17:33] sometimes letters

S7

[1:17:34] they got songs to say,

[1:17:36] so they said

[1:17:37] to let us sing

[1:17:37] at the flop house,

[1:17:39] and you got a friend in me,

[1:17:41] oh yeah.

S3

[1:17:42] Sorry, Randy,

[1:17:43] while we have you here,

[1:17:44] how much of Three Amigos

[1:17:45] did you write?

S7

[1:17:47] Well, I'll tell you,

[1:17:49] a fair amount.

[1:17:50] Three Amigos

[1:17:51] worked on it hard.

[1:17:53] Cause you got a friend

[1:17:55] in Randy Newman.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:56] Okay, well.

[1:17:57] And Randy,

[1:17:58] what about that collaboration

[1:17:59] you're doing with Gary Newman?

S7

[1:18:02] He's gonna sing about cars,

[1:18:04] I'll sing about L.A.

[1:18:05] We're guys whose names

[1:18:07] are Newman in a major way.

[1:18:09] Cause you got a friend in me.

S3

[1:18:11] And I'm so sorry,

[1:18:12] you're holding up a sign

[1:18:13] that said you wanted to say

[1:18:14] a brief something

[1:18:15] about Paul Newman passing.

S7

[1:18:18] I'm sad every day

[1:18:19] that we lost that great actor.

[1:18:21] Glad we still have

[1:18:22] his salad dressing

[1:18:23] to remember him by

[1:18:24] cause he had a friend in me.

S3

[1:18:26] And you wanted to audition

[1:18:27] for a Wayne Knight's role

[1:18:28] of Newman?

[1:18:31] Jerry.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:36] Why is...

[1:18:37] Do you, uh,

[1:18:37] are you...

[1:18:38] Sorry, Randy,

[1:18:39] real quick.

[1:18:40] Are you jealous...

[1:18:41] Are you jealous

[1:18:41] that John Goodman's

[1:18:42] named John Goodman

[1:18:44] and you're only new man?

[1:18:47] Being good's good,

S3

[1:18:48] but I like being new.

[1:18:50] And I'm gonna tell this to you

[1:18:53] that you got a friend in me.

[1:18:56] what words do you want to hear

[1:18:57] from God when you enter heaven?

S7

[1:19:01] That he forgives me

[1:19:02] for that stuff that I did.

[1:19:05] And also,

[1:19:06] he's got a friend in me.

S3

[1:19:08] This is inside the Newman studio.

[1:19:11] We want to thank our guest

[1:19:12] Randy Newman.

[1:19:13] Okay, so...

[1:19:15] You know,

S7

[1:19:15] that was real fun

[1:19:16] being on the podcast.

[1:19:18] But every time

[1:19:19] feels like the last.

[1:19:21] But then you got a friend in me.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:23] Okay.

[1:19:24] Well, this first letter...

[1:19:26] Thank you, Randy.

[1:19:26] This first letter...

[1:19:28] You're welcome, Dan.

[1:19:31] I kind of feel insulted

[1:19:33] that I'm not Randy was a friend.

[1:19:35] Like, it seemed like

[1:19:36] every other person

[1:19:37] had a friend in him, but...

S7

[1:19:39] I'm sorry, Dan.

[1:19:40] I thought that went without saying.

[1:19:42] But I guess our friendship

[1:19:43] needs to be reinforced by words.

[1:19:47] Because you got a friend in me.

[1:19:49] Thank you, Randy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:49] That's all I needed to hear.

S7

[1:19:50] In a way,

[1:19:51] it cheapens our friendship

[1:19:52] that I gotta keep telling you

[1:19:54] that we're friends.

[1:19:55] And you don't just feel it inside.

[1:19:57] Because you got a friend in me.

S3

[1:19:59] And how do you feel about L.A.?

[1:20:00] You hate it,

[1:20:01] or you...

S7

[1:20:04] I'm ambivalent about L.A.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:05] Oh, wow.

[1:20:07] Bump, set, pop the ball.

[1:20:08] I mean, you know,

[1:20:09] people's opinions change

[1:20:10] over the years.

[1:20:10] Okay.

[1:20:11] So this first letter...

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:12] I mean, Randy Newman...

[1:20:14] No offense, Randy.

[1:20:14] He is an old man

[1:20:15] by this point.

[1:20:16] He is no longer a new man.

[1:20:17] So he changes, you know.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:18] Yeah, this first letter

[1:20:19] is from

[1:20:20] Bren, last name withheld.

[1:20:21] I was recently listening

[1:20:23] to an episode

[1:20:24] where you were talking

[1:20:24] about movie universes

[1:20:25] you'd like to live in.

[1:20:27] I believe Dance

[1:20:28] was the Shire

[1:20:29] pre-Lord of the Rings drama.

[1:20:31] So my question is,

[1:20:32] if you had to pick

[1:20:33] a movie universe

[1:20:33] that would be

[1:20:34] your personal nightmare

[1:20:35] to live in,

[1:20:35] what would it be and why?

[1:20:37] Stay floppy,

[1:20:39] Bren, last name withheld.

[1:20:42] I want to say,

[1:20:43] this is kind of general.

[1:20:46] This is not a specific

[1:20:46] movie universe,

[1:20:48] but any of those

[1:20:49] futuristic movie universes

[1:20:51] where you eat your meals

[1:20:53] in pill form,

[1:20:54] I would not like to be it.

[1:20:56] Because I'm always watching

[1:20:56] that like,

[1:20:57] yeah, okay,

[1:20:58] science has decided

[1:20:59] to take one of the

[1:21:00] great pleasures of life,

[1:21:01] which is eating,

[1:21:02] and eliminate it.

[1:21:04] Yeah.

[1:21:04] Does not make sense to me.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:06] Like, science,

[1:21:06] work on something better.

[1:21:07] And you're also like,

[1:21:09] think about all the people

[1:21:10] who work in the

[1:21:10] cutlery industry

[1:21:11] that are now out of work.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:13] Yeah.

[1:21:14] Yeah, very good point.

[1:21:15] Very good point.

[1:21:16] A foundation of the economy.

[1:21:18] Does that be

[1:21:19] your nightmare, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:21:19] Yeah, I mean,

[1:21:20] as a person who enjoys

[1:21:21] to cook and enjoys

[1:21:22] to eat very much,

[1:21:23] yeah, like,

[1:21:24] I would not want to live

[1:21:25] in that universe.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:27] Yeah, I can understand that.

[1:21:29] I think probably for me,

[1:21:30] obviously it goes without

[1:21:31] saying any universe

[1:21:32] where the earth

[1:21:33] has been overrun

[1:21:34] by monsters

[1:21:34] or serial killers.

[1:21:36] That would be

[1:21:36] a real nightmare.

[1:21:37] Yeah, like a purge?

[1:21:38] Like getting caught

[1:21:39] in a purge?

[1:21:40] I do not want to be in a purge

[1:21:41] and I don't want a purge.

[1:21:42] But I'll probably also

[1:21:43] like the Judd Apatow universe.

[1:21:44] Sure.

[1:21:45] Okay, yeah.

[1:21:47] And interesting fun fact,

[1:21:49] in researching movie universes

[1:21:50] for this question,

[1:21:51] I found out that on Wikipedia,

[1:21:53] reboot is considered

[1:21:54] to be in the same universe

[1:21:55] as the Money for Nothing video,

[1:21:56] which I had never thought about.

[1:21:57] And I'm wondering,

[1:21:58] where's that crossover, huh?

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:00] Yeah, you want to amend

[1:22:01] your answer for what universe

[1:22:02] you want to live in, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:04] Yeah, I want to live in that

[1:22:05] blocky computer animated

[1:22:06] Money for Nothing video

[1:22:08] where you get two great choices.

[1:22:10] You can either play the guitar

[1:22:11] and get chicks for free

[1:22:12] or you can install microwave ovens.

[1:22:13] Yeah, I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:14] I feel like the exact lyrics

[1:22:15] of that song might be best

[1:22:17] not, you know,

[1:22:18] carefully examined.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:19] No, no, there's certainly

[1:22:20] one line in that song

[1:22:22] that even though

[1:22:22] it's in the voice of a character

[1:22:24] is still something

[1:22:24] I would not say.

[1:22:25] It's more harsh

[1:22:26] than you would like.

[1:22:28] Yes, exactly.

[1:22:29] But that's just

[1:22:30] a blue collar working man

[1:22:31] watching MTV, you know,

[1:22:32] even though as I said

[1:22:33] in the beginning,

[1:22:33] he wants his MTV.

[1:22:34] But is that a different character?

[1:22:36] In the video,

[1:22:36] it's one of those guys,

[1:22:37] but in the song,

[1:22:38] maybe it's a different character.

[1:22:39] I don't know.

[1:22:39] Dan, what do you think?

[1:22:41] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:42] I think Dan was checking his phone.

[1:22:43] Adol, is there a movie universe?

[1:22:45] Why do you feel the need to play?

[1:22:47] You who are so interested

[1:22:48] in maintaining

[1:22:49] the professionalism

[1:22:50] of the podcast

[1:22:51] did not need to call me out

[1:22:52] at the one time I was...

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:54] Dan, has it ever occurred to you

[1:22:56] that I am more likely

[1:22:57] to call you out

[1:22:57] when I see you

[1:22:58] going to your phone?

[1:22:59] But Adol, yeah,

[1:23:00] do you have a movie universe

[1:23:01] you would not want to live in?

S3

[1:23:02] I gotta say,

[1:23:02] based on my personal preferences,

[1:23:04] the Back to the Future 2 universe...

[1:23:07] They should have called it

[1:23:08] Back to the Future.

[1:23:09] Back to the Future.

[1:23:10] You're right.

[1:23:12] Mama Thria

[1:23:13] is what they should call

[1:23:13] the third Mama Mia,

[1:23:15] Mama Thria.

[1:23:16] They should make it

[1:23:16] just for that.

[1:23:18] Yeah.

[1:23:18] specifically just because

[1:23:19] in Back to the Future 2,

[1:23:21] they wear two ties.

[1:23:24] Instead of one tie,

[1:23:25] everyone wears two ties.

[1:23:27] I hate wearing ties,

[1:23:28] so I feel like

[1:23:28] just based on that alone,

[1:23:30] if I get to a funeral,

[1:23:30] a wedding,

[1:23:31] I would not want to wear two ties.

[1:23:33] I feel like that would be

[1:23:33] highly uncomfortable.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:35] So not the fact

[1:23:36] that they're living

[1:23:37] in the Biffverse

[1:23:37] where a kind of

[1:23:39] asshole millionaire

[1:23:41] has taken over America

[1:23:43] since we do live

[1:23:43] in that universe now.

[1:23:44] It's just the two ties thing

[1:23:45] that bothers me.

[1:23:46] Just the two tie things.

[1:23:46] And being fired over facts

[1:23:48] is pretty brutal.

[1:23:49] That's pretty brutal.

[1:23:49] And also that dehydrated pizza

[1:23:51] probably can't be very good, right?

[1:23:52] No, not at all.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:53] I don't know.

[1:23:54] Isn't it like

[1:23:54] Pizza Hut brand?

[1:23:56] Right?

[1:23:56] You're right.

[1:23:57] So it's great.

[1:23:57] It's amazing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:58] Pizza so good,

[1:23:59] you can only serve it

[1:24:00] out of a hut.

[1:24:03] They're like,

[1:24:04] should we call

[1:24:04] our new restaurant

[1:24:05] Pizza Palace?

[1:24:06] Let's not promise too much.

[1:24:08] Pizza Shack?

[1:24:09] Pizza Shack.

[1:24:10] People are going to think

[1:24:11] they're going to buy radios there.

[1:24:12] That's right.

[1:24:12] Yeah, yeah.

[1:24:13] Okay, okay, great.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:14] Yeah, I would probably

[1:24:15] say some kind of

[1:24:19] dystopia, right?

[1:24:20] Like the Alexander Payne

[1:24:22] movie universe.

[1:24:24] Sideways.

[1:24:25] Like Sideways

[1:24:26] or About Schmidt.

[1:24:29] Yeah, sure.

[1:24:29] The Descendants.

[1:24:30] Although, I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:30] I guess I'd like to

[1:24:31] spend the rest of my years

[1:24:33] with June Squibb.

[1:24:34] She's really great.

[1:24:37] So, man,

[1:24:38] I guess,

[1:24:38] I don't know.

[1:24:39] I mean,

[1:24:39] I guess sometimes,

[1:24:40] you know,

[1:24:41] the perfect kind of hell

[1:24:42] is one that has,

[1:24:43] you know,

[1:24:43] like Perfect Cage

[1:24:44] has beautiful bars,

[1:24:45] you know what I mean?

Dan McCoy

[1:24:46] So, this second

[1:24:48] and final letter

[1:24:49] is from Zach,

[1:24:50] last name withheld.

[1:24:51] Zach Braff,

[1:24:52] sure,

[1:24:52] star of Alex,

[1:24:53] MD.

[1:24:54] What was the name of that show?

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:54] Alex Incorporated.

[1:24:56] Alex MD would be a doctor

[1:24:57] and not a podcaster.

[1:24:58] Although,

[1:24:59] theoretically,

[1:24:59] it could be a health podcast.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:01] Hey,

[1:25:01] floppers,

[1:25:02] I've been jumping around

[1:25:03] to random episodes

[1:25:04] in your back catalog.

[1:25:05] I gave episode 270,

[1:25:07] Interview with a Vampire,

[1:25:08] a listen yesterday.

[1:25:10] In that one,

[1:25:10] Elliot asked for advice

[1:25:11] about what to tell his kids

[1:25:13] about Santa.

[1:25:14] Elliot,

[1:25:14] you should definitely do

[1:25:16] what my mom did for me.

[1:25:17] The last winter

[1:25:18] before I started

[1:25:19] at elementary school

[1:25:19] and was therefore

[1:25:20] about to be around kids

[1:25:21] who believed in Santa,

[1:25:23] my mom wanted me

[1:25:24] to be prepared,

[1:25:25] but to not ruin it

[1:25:25] for others.

[1:25:26] First,

[1:25:27] she explained

[1:25:27] what other kids

[1:25:28] believed about Santa.

[1:25:30] coming to almost every house,

[1:25:31] going down chimneys

[1:25:32] with gifts,

[1:25:33] etc.

[1:25:35] She then explained

[1:25:35] the origins of Santa Claus,

[1:25:37] how he was based

[1:25:38] on a real person,

[1:25:39] Saint Nicholas,

[1:25:40] but that he lived

[1:25:41] and died a long time ago

[1:25:42] and so was not coming down

[1:25:43] people's chimneys

[1:25:44] bringing them gifts.

[1:25:45] And you're saying gifts,

[1:25:47] not gifts,

[1:25:48] the animated...

[1:25:49] Gifts.

[1:25:49] Okay,

[1:25:49] animated image,

[1:25:50] okay.

[1:25:50] It was instead parents

[1:25:51] who got all the gifts

[1:25:52] for their children.

[1:25:54] It was a very sensitive,

[1:25:55] well-thought-out explanation

[1:25:56] that answered all of my questions

[1:25:58] and set me up

[1:25:58] to be a well-functioning

[1:25:59] member of a society

[1:26:00] that likes lying

[1:26:01] to other kids.

[1:26:03] The next time

[1:26:03] we went to a grocery store,

[1:26:04] the clerk,

[1:26:05] checking us out,

[1:26:06] asked us,

[1:26:07] so what is Santa

[1:26:07] getting you for Christmas?

[1:26:09] Without missing a beat

[1:26:10] and remembering my training,

[1:26:11] I answered,

[1:26:12] oh, nothing.

[1:26:13] My mom told me

[1:26:14] Santa was dead.

[1:26:17] So, okay.

[1:26:18] Now that I've given you

[1:26:19] some invaluable advice,

[1:26:21] I was hoping you could

[1:26:22] return the favor.

[1:26:23] I'm scheduled to be getting

[1:26:24] a vasectomy soon.

[1:26:26] After the surgery,

[1:26:27] I'll be sitting on the couch

[1:26:28] for a couple of days

[1:26:29] watching movies.

[1:26:30] I want some titles

[1:26:31] that fit the theme,

[1:26:32] so I've got Castle Freak

[1:26:33] and Antichrist queued up.

[1:26:35] There's also a Lorena

[1:26:36] Bobbitt miniseries.

[1:26:38] I've got a couple of days

[1:26:39] to fill up, though.

[1:26:40] Help me, Floppers,

[1:26:41] you're my only hope.

[1:26:42] Yours in Floppitude,

[1:26:43] Zach,

[1:26:43] last name withheld.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:45] Now I think,

[1:26:45] right off the top of my dome,

[1:26:47] I'm going to say

[1:26:47] there's that great scene

[1:26:48] in RoboCop

[1:26:49] where he shoots

[1:26:49] the bad guy in the dick.

[1:26:51] There's also Hot Dog,

[1:26:52] there's Hot Dog the movie.

[1:26:54] Ooh, can Cinema Boy

[1:26:55] get in here?

[1:26:55] Cinema Boy,

[1:26:56] yeah, please.

[1:26:56] I've got to say,

S3

[1:26:57] if you're getting

[1:26:57] a vasectomy,

[1:26:58] first movie you should watch

[1:26:59] Damon Wayne's Blank Man.

[1:27:00] Okay, I was going to say

Dan McCoy

[1:27:01] Street Trash.

[1:27:03] There's a scene

[1:27:03] in Street Trash

[1:27:04] where they play

[1:27:04] Keep Away

[1:27:05] with a severed penis.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:07] Let's not forget

[1:27:08] that both in Piranha 3D

[1:27:09] there is a close-up

[1:27:10] of a severed penis

[1:27:11] that has just been

[1:27:12] bitten off of

[1:27:13] Jeremy O'Connell

[1:27:14] and that in

[1:27:15] Jeremy O'Connell's

[1:27:16] sorry,

[1:27:17] Jerry O'Connell,

[1:27:18] Jerry O'Connell.

[1:27:18] Jeremy O'Connell

[1:27:19] was his dad,

[1:27:21] maybe?

[1:27:21] I don't know.

[1:27:22] And that in

[1:27:23] Snakes on a Plane,

[1:27:24] a snake does bite

[1:27:25] a man's dick

[1:27:25] and it leads

[1:27:26] to the immortal line,

[1:27:27] ah, get off my dick.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:28] Doesn't the Piranha

[1:27:30] also kind of barf up

[1:27:32] the penis?

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:33] Yeah, he bites it off

[1:27:34] and then he spits it,

[1:27:35] he throws it up

[1:27:36] in front of the camera

[1:27:36] because that's,

[1:27:37] and why that movie

[1:27:38] wasn't nominated

[1:27:38] for Best Picture,

[1:27:39] I don't know.

[1:27:40] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:41] The movie that famously

[1:27:42] we went to see

[1:27:43] on the day of your wedding.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:44] Yep, it was a great day.

[1:27:47] I want to say

[1:27:48] two things off this letter.

[1:27:49] One,

[1:27:50] the letter writer

[1:27:51] will be happy to know

[1:27:52] that we have talked

[1:27:53] to my son about Santa Claus

[1:27:54] and we did something similar.

[1:27:54] We were like,

[1:27:55] hey, this is the truth

[1:27:57] but other kids like it

[1:27:59] so don't say things about it.

[1:28:00] One time we were

[1:28:01] walking to school,

[1:28:02] he saw,

[1:28:02] it was like a deflated Santa

[1:28:04] in front of someone's lawn

[1:28:06] and he was like,

[1:28:07] oh, I guess Santa died.

[1:28:09] And I was like,

[1:28:10] no, no,

[1:28:10] that's just a deflated thing.

[1:28:11] And he goes,

[1:28:11] dad, why do they believe

[1:28:12] in Santa since he's not real?

[1:28:14] Like God.

[1:28:14] And I was like,

[1:28:15] okay, this is a bigger conversation.

[1:28:16] Hold on a second.

[1:28:19] And the other thing

[1:28:19] I want to say is

[1:28:20] his vasectomy story

[1:28:21] reminds me of

[1:28:22] when I had a kidney stone

[1:28:25] and I was just sitting at home

[1:28:27] watching movies

[1:28:27] because I was in such pain

[1:28:28] and I watched From Beyond

[1:28:30] and I was like,

[1:28:31] this movie really gets

[1:28:32] how I'm feeling right now.

[1:28:33] Because it was like

[1:28:34] goopy and people's bodies

[1:28:36] were getting destroyed.

[1:28:37] I was like,

[1:28:37] oh, finally,

[1:28:38] someone's telling my story.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:40] Kind of like a

[1:28:41] farewell to the flesh

[1:28:42] type moment.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:43] Exactly.

[1:28:43] Oh, I wish I could have said

[1:28:44] farewell to the flesh.

S3

[1:28:46] Probably watch

[1:28:46] Romancing the Stone as well.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:49] Oh, yeah.

[1:28:49] I watch all stone movies.

[1:28:50] Romancing the Stone,

[1:28:52] Sharon Stone.

[1:28:53] The Family Stone.

[1:28:54] The Rolling Stones.

[1:28:55] Yeah.

[1:28:55] The Family Stone.

[1:28:56] Yeah.

[1:28:57] All that stuff.

[1:28:58] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:59] So this is a point

[1:29:00] in the podcast

[1:29:01] where we recommend movies.

[1:29:03] Movies that we actually enjoyed.

[1:29:06] Movies you should see

[1:29:07] probably instead of The Fanatic.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:09] I'm going to say,

[1:29:10] I'm just going to go,

[1:29:10] there's a guess,

[1:29:11] I don't know what you guys

[1:29:12] are all going to recommend,

[1:29:13] but I'm going to say

[1:29:13] definitely instead of The Fanatic.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:15] Yeah.

[1:29:17] I guess I'll kick it off.

[1:29:19] There's a movie I watched recently.

[1:29:22] I think it was on Shudder

[1:29:23] that I saw it.

[1:29:24] It's called Strange Behavior.

[1:29:27] A.K.A. Dead Kids

[1:29:28] is the other name

[1:29:31] for that movie.

[1:29:33] And it was directed

[1:29:34] by Michael Laughlin

[1:29:35] and it was written by

[1:29:36] Bill Condon and Michael Laughlin.

[1:29:39] Bill Condon,

[1:29:39] you might know,

[1:29:40] went on to do

[1:29:41] Gods and Monsters,

[1:29:43] Chicago,

[1:29:44] other stuff.

[1:29:46] And it's an Aussie horror film.

[1:29:50] You know I like my

[1:29:51] Ausploitation.

[1:29:52] I do know that.

[1:29:54] It's kind of a mashup

[1:29:55] of the serial killer

[1:29:57] or slasher,

[1:29:58] rather,

[1:29:59] and mad scientist genres

[1:30:02] where there are

[1:30:04] scientists in this small town

[1:30:06] performing mysterious experiments

[1:30:08] that are doing,

[1:30:12] lead to killings,

[1:30:13] let's say.

[1:30:14] I don't want to spoil

[1:30:14] too much of the film.

[1:30:15] But,

[1:30:16] you know,

[1:30:17] it's,

[1:30:18] I don't want to oversell it,

[1:30:19] but if you have

[1:30:20] a fondness for

[1:30:21] B-movies from the 80s

[1:30:25] that are made with

[1:30:25] a little more craft

[1:30:26] than they needed

[1:30:27] to be made with,

[1:30:28] then this is for you.

[1:30:30] There's some very creative

[1:30:31] filming and staging

[1:30:32] of some of the

[1:30:33] suspense sequences.

[1:30:35] So,

[1:30:35] strange behavior

[1:30:36] is my recommendation.

[1:30:37] Anyone else?

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:39] Yeah.

[1:30:41] I just did some traveling,

[1:30:44] you know,

[1:30:45] went down to Florida

[1:30:46] to visit my folks

[1:30:47] and I watched some movies

[1:30:50] on my trip.

[1:30:50] I have a tendency

[1:30:52] to watch movies

[1:30:53] on planes

[1:30:54] that have an accidentally

[1:30:56] large amount of nudity.

[1:30:58] That's always fun.

[1:30:59] I like getting,

[1:31:00] classic bit.

[1:31:01] I like it

[1:31:01] when random guys

[1:31:02] slap me in the arm

[1:31:03] and give me a thumbs up

[1:31:04] while I'm trying

[1:31:05] to hunch over my laptop

[1:31:07] to prevent anyone

[1:31:08] from seeing.

[1:31:08] As you're watching

[1:31:09] Irreversible.

[1:31:10] Yeah,

[1:31:11] to keep people

[1:31:11] from seeing all my shame,

[1:31:13] like the movie shame.

[1:31:15] But,

[1:31:16] this time,

[1:31:17] I made a point

[1:31:17] not to watch it

[1:31:18] on a plane.

[1:31:19] I watched the movie

[1:31:20] I Am Love,

[1:31:21] directed by

[1:31:22] Luca Guadagino,

[1:31:24] who is

[1:31:25] probably one of my favorite

[1:31:27] directors working right now.

[1:31:30] This is one of his earlier films

[1:31:31] starring Tilda Swinton.

[1:31:34] And,

[1:31:35] it's about a young woman,

[1:31:36] well,

[1:31:37] a mother,

[1:31:38] a mother of three

[1:31:39] who has,

[1:31:41] a Russian woman

[1:31:41] who's married into

[1:31:42] an Italian,

[1:31:43] a wealthy Italian family.

[1:31:46] And,

[1:31:46] the family is both

[1:31:47] dealing with business changes

[1:31:49] and also

[1:31:49] some turbulent

[1:31:51] personal things.

[1:31:52] And,

[1:31:53] like a lot of his movies,

[1:31:54] it's basically like

[1:31:56] a lush feast

[1:31:57] of a movie.

[1:31:58] It's beautiful,

[1:32:00] it's very physical,

[1:32:01] it's got a,

[1:32:02] let's say,

[1:32:04] very present score,

[1:32:06] and some really great

[1:32:07] performances from

[1:32:08] Tilda Swinton

[1:32:09] and the rest of the cast.

[1:32:10] I found it beautiful

[1:32:11] and moving.

S3

[1:32:14] I'd like to,

[1:32:15] Cinnamon Boy

[1:32:15] would like to recommend,

[1:32:17] I'm sure,

[1:32:17] this might have been

[1:32:18] recommended before,

[1:32:18] I didn't get a chance

[1:32:19] to look through

[1:32:19] your whole back catalog,

[1:32:20] but,

[1:32:21] I'm going to Japan

[1:32:22] in a few weeks

[1:32:23] and I'm going to go

[1:32:24] to the Ghibli museum,

[1:32:26] Ghibli,

[1:32:27] and I watched

[1:32:28] Grave of the Fireflies.

[1:32:29] Yeah,

[1:32:30] yeah,

[1:32:30] yeah.

[1:32:30] And,

[1:32:31] oh,

[1:32:31] don't watch this

[1:32:32] if you're having

[1:32:32] a bad day,

[1:32:33] but,

[1:32:34] if you're bulletproof.

[1:32:36] But if you're having

[1:32:37] a good day,

[1:32:37] that's the time

[1:32:38] to watch it.

[1:32:39] It is beautiful.

[1:32:42] It's so,

[1:32:43] so sad,

[1:32:44] but it's set

[1:32:45] during World War II

[1:32:45] in Japan.

[1:32:46] It's about a young boy

[1:32:49] and his kid sister

[1:32:50] who kind of lose everything

[1:32:51] and have to fend

[1:32:52] for themselves

[1:32:53] and the trials

[1:32:53] and tribulations

[1:32:54] they go through.

[1:32:55] The voice acting

[1:32:55] is incredible.

[1:32:56] Subs overdubs always.

[1:32:58] And it's just beautifully done

[1:32:59] and it's a very,

[1:33:00] it's a very incredible,

[1:33:02] touching,

[1:33:02] incredible story.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:03] Have you watched any,

[1:33:04] I remember when I bought

[1:33:06] like the DVD years ago

[1:33:07] and there was some

[1:33:08] supplementary materials

[1:33:09] where they were

[1:33:10] like talking to the director

[1:33:10] and the author

[1:33:11] of the story

[1:33:12] and his takeaway

[1:33:15] was so much different

[1:33:16] than my takeaway.

[1:33:18] He was like shocked

[1:33:19] that people felt sympathy

[1:33:20] for the characters

[1:33:21] when he's like,

[1:33:22] clearly what they're doing

[1:33:23] was wrong

[1:33:23] and I'm like,

[1:33:24] what is happening?

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:27] Oh man,

[1:33:28] what good movie.

[1:33:31] That's a great segue

[1:33:33] for my movie

[1:33:33] which is also a difficult

[1:33:35] to watch film

[1:33:36] about World War II

[1:33:37] but this time

[1:33:38] in the European theater.

[1:33:39] I recently saw the movie

[1:33:40] Come and See

[1:33:40] which is a Russian

[1:33:42] or you could say

[1:33:43] Belarusian movie

[1:33:44] from 1985

[1:33:45] about a young man

[1:33:47] who lives in a village

[1:33:48] in Belarus

[1:33:49] and decides

[1:33:50] against his mother's wishes

[1:33:52] to join the Soviet partisans

[1:33:54] or I guess,

[1:33:54] I guess they're Soviet,

[1:33:55] the partisans

[1:33:56] fighting the Nazis

[1:33:57] and finds that the war

[1:33:59] is so much more horrifying

[1:34:01] than he thought it would be

[1:34:03] and it's a really

[1:34:05] amazingly powerful

[1:34:07] but also difficult

[1:34:09] to watch movie

[1:34:10] but it goes to a place

[1:34:11] at the end

[1:34:12] that I found like,

[1:34:14] there are certain points

[1:34:15] where I'm like,

[1:34:16] yeah, war is terrible,

[1:34:17] I understand,

[1:34:17] it's really hitting you hard

[1:34:18] but the way

[1:34:19] they do certain things

[1:34:20] and where the movie

[1:34:21] goes to at the end

[1:34:22] is very surprising

[1:34:23] and strange

[1:34:24] and something that I did not

[1:34:25] expect or see coming

[1:34:26] but which really moved me

[1:34:28] in the end.

[1:34:28] I mentioned moved earlier

[1:34:30] about iPodius,

[1:34:31] I was also moved

[1:34:31] watching this

[1:34:32] but it's a movie to watch

[1:34:33] like with a,

[1:34:35] knowing that you're

[1:34:35] going to watch something

[1:34:36] that's going to make you

[1:34:37] uncomfortable

[1:34:38] and not happy.

[1:34:40] So yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:40] just pop up a big

[1:34:42] bucket of popcorn,

[1:34:43] eat some B12,

[1:34:44] get the family together,

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:46] it's a great first date movie

[1:34:47] and just be ready

[1:34:50] for an incredibly powerful terror

[1:34:53] that's come and see.

[1:34:55] Okay,

Dan McCoy

[1:34:55] so that's our show,

[1:34:58] guys,

[1:34:59] thank you to our guests

[1:35:00] for being here,

[1:35:01] do you want to thank

[1:35:01] our guests?

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:02] Yeah,

[1:35:02] absolutely,

[1:35:03] thanks so much

[1:35:04] for joining us,

[1:35:05] Adel,

[1:35:06] use my real name,

[1:35:08] I'm so sorry,

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:10] thank you for joining us.

[1:35:11] Remind us again,

[1:35:12] where can we find you

[1:35:13] outside of this podcast,

[1:35:14] Cinema Boy?

[1:35:14] Yeah,

[1:35:15] you can find me

[1:35:15] on the podcast,

[1:35:16] How's it going

[1:35:17] from the Magic Tavern?

S3

[1:35:19] How's it going

[1:35:19] from the Magic Tavern?

[1:35:21] And Hey Riddle Riddle,

[1:35:22] which is a new podcast

[1:35:23] I do.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:25] I think if you just

[1:35:26] Google funniest podcast

[1:35:28] right?

[1:35:29] Famously,

S3

[1:35:29] yes,

[1:35:30] absolutely,

[1:35:30] that's how Rachel Bloom

[1:35:31] found us.

[1:35:33] But yeah,

[1:35:33] check those out,

[1:35:34] Hey Riddle Riddle

[1:35:35] and Hello from the Magic Tavern

[1:35:36] and you can find me

[1:35:37] on Twitter

[1:35:38] at Adel Refai,

[1:35:39] spelled how it sounds.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:41] Great,

[1:35:42] our show is on the

[1:35:44] Maximum Fun Podcast Network,

[1:35:46] home to many great podcasts.

[1:35:48] Go out and check it out,

[1:35:50] comedy and culture,

[1:35:51] yada yada.

[1:35:52] Yep,

[1:35:52] yada yada.

[1:35:54] Tweet about us,

[1:35:56] greet about us,

[1:35:57] fleet about us.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:58] Give us good reviews

[1:35:59] on iTunes or wherever

[1:36:00] you get your podcasts from

[1:36:02] and thank you very much

[1:36:04] for listening.

[1:36:05] Randy,

S3

[1:36:05] where can we find you?

S7

[1:36:07] Do you have anything to plug?

[1:36:07] Well,

[1:36:08] I'm all sorts of places

[1:36:09] like Pixar movies

[1:36:11] or maybe you just see me

[1:36:12] down at a diner

[1:36:14] probably ordering

[1:36:15] a side of fries.

[1:36:16] That's enough for me.

[1:36:18] I don't need a Phil's meal.

[1:36:20] I had a big breakfast.

[1:36:23] But you know,

[1:36:24] guys,

[1:36:25] it's interesting to say,

[1:36:26] sometimes when you're singing,

[1:36:28] the words get in your way

[1:36:30] and you just gotta go like this.

[1:36:33] Careful.

[1:36:34] Careful, Randy.

[1:36:35] Careful.

[1:36:37] Guys,

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:38] you got a friend in me.

[1:36:40] Yeah,

[1:36:40] stuck the landing.

[1:36:41] Bro,

[1:36:41] no.

[1:36:43] Well,

[1:36:44] I'll say this episode

[1:36:45] was created with the help

[1:36:47] of Jordan Cowling

[1:36:47] from Maximum Fun.

[1:36:50] Dan,

[1:36:51] is there anything else

[1:36:51] we'd like to say?

[1:36:53] Any Flop House housekeeping?

[1:36:55] Nope,

[1:36:55] that's it.

[1:36:56] Okay.

[1:36:56] Send us a letter

[1:36:58] if you want

[1:36:58] and maybe Randy Newman

[1:37:00] will sing about it sometime.

S7

[1:37:01] Well,

[1:37:01] I don't make promises.

[1:37:02] I'm a busy guy.

[1:37:04] I just happened to stop by

[1:37:05] today.

[1:37:08] Oh,

[1:37:08] no,

[1:37:08] I rhymed in the middle

[1:37:09] instead of at the end.

S3

[1:37:11] Yeah,

[1:37:12] sorry,

[1:37:12] Randy.

[1:37:13] Guys,

[1:37:13] I just realized

[1:37:14] in that drawing at the end

[1:37:15] when John Travolta

[1:37:16] has the eye patch

[1:37:17] and the hook

[1:37:17] and he grows wings,

[1:37:18] he turns into

[1:37:19] the angel Michael.

[1:37:21] Oh,

[1:37:22] and so it's a prequel

[1:37:23] to Michael.

[1:37:24] That makes a lot of sense.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:25] It sounds like

[1:37:26] a real phenomenon.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:28] broken arrow.

[1:37:31] All right,

[1:37:31] guys,

[1:37:32] see you next time.

[1:37:34] Bye.

[1:37:34] We'll be staying alive.

[1:37:35] Bye.

[1:37:36] Bye.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:47] And Oscar Isaac

[1:37:48] is Duke Leto Atreides.

[1:37:50] Zendaya is Chani.

[1:37:53] And Michi.

[1:37:53] But it doesn't say

[1:37:54] who's going to play

[1:37:54] Fade Rutho.

[1:37:55] Definitely,

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:56] yeah,

[1:37:56] definitely Michi still.

[1:37:58] MaximumFun.org

S6

[1:38:06] Comedy and culture.

[1:38:08] Artist owned.

[1:38:09] Audience supported.

Ep. #306 - The Fanatic

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