Ep. #309 - Book Club

[0:00] On this episode we discuss Book Club!

[0:04] The chilling tale of four people getting together in the same space less than six feet apart.

[0:10] Ooh!

[0:11] Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:41] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:42] And I'm Elliot Kaelin.

[0:44] And Dan, I hate to fall into my stereotype as the Jewish one, but why is this show different

[0:49] from all other shows?

[0:50] Well, for one thing, we're all more than six feet apart, meaning that we're all in our

[0:58] respective apartments.

[1:00] Yes, the COVID-19, colloquially named the coronavirus, has sent us scattered to the

[1:10] winds.

[1:11] Normally, it was just Elliot scattered.

[1:14] Yeah, well...

[1:17] I mean, that's pretty much my reaction to it.

[1:22] Yeah, well...

[1:23] We are doing our best to try to keep up with what the governments tell us to do.

[1:28] We are setting an example for the young people out there by keeping distance from each other

[1:32] so as to not become disease vectors.

[1:35] Dan and Stuart are feeling a little under the weather, and I'm just dealing with an

[1:40] overdose of California sunshine, you know?

[1:42] There's just too much bright sun that I can only escape by staying in my house 23 hours

[1:48] a day and only occasionally venturing outside to peer into the light like a mole man or

[1:53] a vampire that got tricked into escaping his coffin too early.

[1:57] So this episode might be a little strange because we're all in three different locations.

[2:02] I don't think any podcast has ever done this before, right?

[2:05] No, I don't think in the history of podcasting.

[2:07] And my levels are all crazy.

[2:09] So this might be the weirdest sounding story you'll ever hear.

[2:13] Hopefully it's extra loud.

[2:15] Yeah, I think I have it the easiest of all three of us because I'm not as sick as Stuart,

[2:21] nor do I have two children.

[2:22] Dan, you have the easiest of most people in the country.

[2:26] No, I know.

[2:28] I was comparing to you two.

[2:30] I was not.

[2:31] Oh, okay.

[2:32] We don't need to get into how privileged I am, which is very, but...

[2:35] All right, don't rub it in.

[2:37] Dan is recognizing his privilege in a very positive way.

[2:42] Well, I mean, what am I supposed to do about it?

[2:46] Just count my lucky stars, I guess.

[2:48] Yeah, and your purple moons and green clovers too.

[2:51] Yeah.

[2:52] So this is a weird way to start an episode.

[2:55] So Dan, what do we do on this podcast for anyone who's stuck at home looking for entertainment

[3:01] and they stumbled on the picture of us and they're like, well, I like chicken legs and

[3:04] beer and remote controls.

[3:06] I'll check out what these three dudes do.

[3:07] What do we do on this podcast?

[3:08] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and we talk about it.

[3:14] Now you were very interested.

[3:17] We had a short vogue for theme months and you were going to do what you called momuary

[3:21] where we watched this in poms.

[3:24] Let me explain.

[3:25] Momuary was for me.

[3:27] I wanted to do a theme month of, because let's face it, we're dudes.

[3:30] We watch a lot of dude movies, which a lot of, and not to gender stereotype there, but

[3:35] we watch a lot of traditionally dude movies, horror movies, action movies, sci-fi, action,

[3:40] horror, horror, sci-fi, action, fantasy, horror, horror, fantasy, sci-fi, action, and action,

[3:46] horror, sci-fi, fantasy, action.

[3:48] And we don't, there's a whole world of movies out there that we don't really touch upon

[3:52] usually that I would call generically movies my mom watches.

[3:56] And so I was, and this, so I wanted to see book club and palms and it would double as

[4:01] also what is going on with Diane Keaton these days, month, because Diane Keaton, who is,

[4:06] I don't think I'm going to deal, have any opposition on this national treasure and one

[4:10] of the most charismatic actresses in probably the history of motion pictures.

[4:15] Delightful, instantly likable, very funny, and can wear the hell out of a high collar

[4:22] and a hat.

[4:23] Oh, she, you know, her, her style, I mean, there's a reason that the Annie Hall look

[4:26] took off like a, like a wildfire.

[4:28] Well, Audrey, there's a scene like this movie where, spoiler alert, Diane Keaton is on a

[4:34] large inflatable swan in a pool and Audrey said, why is she wearing a hat?

[4:38] I'm like, because she's Diane Keaton.

[4:40] Also, it's nighttime and she's wearing a huge sun hat.

[4:44] There's a part where her girlfriends are trying to help her dress up for a date and, and Jane

[4:48] Fonda is like, open up your collar, show off the girls a little.

[4:51] And, but she's wearing like a turtleneck underneath the shirt that she's wearing.

[4:55] The girls are getting anywhere near to being shown off.

[4:58] No, but she looks great.

[4:59] But so, yeah, no, she looks tremendous.

[5:01] But Diane Keaton is, she's also a working actor.

[5:04] And so for years now, she's been doing movies like this or something's got to give where

[5:08] I'm like, like, it's like Diane Keaton, like you're like, what happened to the, the Diane

[5:12] Keaton of Reds, you know, or the Diane Keaton of, you know, you know, the Wee Allen movies

[5:18] that she made.

[5:19] Like, there's just, there's part of me that's like, Diane Keaton, you're better than this.

[5:21] This was going to double as Diane Keaton, you're better than this month.

[5:24] But mostly it was movies that my mom watches.

[5:27] And unfortunately, I don't know that we're going to get to Palms because there's so much

[5:30] else going on right now.

[5:32] But we're just going to skip right to Wild Palms, the TV show, part of the national conversation

[5:41] to Wild Palms, inevitably, inevitably, when things start going south, socially, people

[5:46] start talking about the Oliver Stone television short-lived series, Wild Palms.

[5:50] I will say, Elliot, my, I know for a fact that my parents saw Book Club and their reaction

[5:58] was, you know, like, look, we know it's dumb, but your elderly parents had a good time.

[6:03] Yeah.

[6:04] I mean, that's the thing is this is, this is a comfort food movie.

[6:07] And maybe at this time in American history, we all need a little comfort food.

[6:10] But guys, I wanted to talk about where this movie goes wrong because it does so much right.

[6:14] Once, number one, it brings together an amazing cast.

[6:17] This is Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, and Mary Steve Bergen.

[6:21] They're all great.

[6:22] And also you got Don Johnson and Wallace Shawn and Richard Dreyfuss and Ed Begley Jr.

[6:26] This is an all-star, older star cast.

[6:29] And Alicia Silverstone in an, as far as I know, unheralded performance in a supporting

[6:33] role.

[6:34] But, and so it gets, so it obviously gets that right by getting cast there.

[6:37] Wait, are you saying, are you saying like a little guy in a little suit didn't come

[6:41] out and like tell everybody that Alicia Silverstone was showing up?

[6:45] Like at the beginning of Frankenstein, when a man comes out and he goes, watch out, this

[6:48] movie may be too horrifying for you.

[6:50] I wish that he had gone out and said, it may shock you to find that Alicia Silverstone

[6:54] is in this film in a very small role.

[6:57] Well, also, are you saying that Andy Garcia and Craig T. Nelson are chopped liver, my

[7:02] friend?

[7:03] I'm saying that, Dan, I'm saying that there are so many stars in this movie that the heavens

[7:06] were dark and I can't even remember all of them.

[7:08] So there's a lot of stars in the movie.

[7:10] Two, it taps into the national zeitgeist because it's all about the 50 shades of gray craze

[7:14] which was only seven years old when this movie came out.

[7:21] And so the only way they could have fixed that is if the movie at the beginning, there

[7:24] was just a montage of things that happened in the year 2011 that they were just like

[7:30] just to set the scene.

[7:31] But here's what this movie does wrong.

[7:34] Now, just a spoiler alert, I'm going to do a general thesis statement about the film

[7:38] and then we'll get into the summary of it.

[7:40] This movie is essentially a sitcom episode that has been expanded to the length of a

[7:44] feature film and that sitcom is called Golden Girls and this is essentially a backdoor attempt

[7:50] and I don't mean backdoor in a sexual way even though this is a heavily 50 shades of

[7:54] gray movie because as we'll get into, it totally just eliminates the promise of a sexually

[8:00] charged elder movie.

[8:02] But it's like if they made a Golden Girls movie and they forgot a very valuable ingredient

[8:06] because let's take a look at who the characters are in this one.

[8:09] This is a story about a book club that's been meeting regularly since 1974.

[8:16] And we have the receipts to prove it, right?

[8:18] Yes, because we're introduced to them with the most incredibly fake photoshopped photo

[8:22] I think I've ever seen in the history of film featuring young Jane Fonda, young Candice

[8:27] Fergin, young Mary Steenburgen, and young Diane Keaton.

[8:29] And we'll talk about their characters in a moment.

[8:31] Jane Fonda, she's a...

[8:32] I just want to say there's a worse photoshop job to come, but I'll leave that as a...

[8:37] Which one is it?

[8:39] Ed Begley Jr. photos?

[8:40] Ed Begley Jr., yes.

[8:41] So much so that I thought it was going to be a plot point that he was faking these vacation

[8:46] photos.

[8:48] There's a part where later on Candice Fergin is looking at her ex-husband Ed Begley Jr.'s

[8:52] vacation photos and it looks like he and his fiancée went to the mall and stood in front

[8:55] of a green screen, like went to a carnival, and had like a fake photo made.

[9:01] So Jane Fonda, she's your classic lifelong bachelorette, refuses to settle down, loves

[9:05] to have sex, and owns a successful hotel.

[9:08] She's obviously the Rue McClanahan in this scenario.

[9:12] She's the Blanche.

[9:13] She is very sexually active, does not want to be tied down by a man, and also has kind

[9:17] of similar hair to Blanche.

[9:19] Then you've got Sharon, that's Candice Bergen.

[9:22] She's a federal judge, and she is very ultra-proper, and she's very repressed.

[9:26] She hasn't even dated a man, let alone had sex, and she divorced her ex-husband Ed Begley

[9:30] Jr.

[9:31] This is clearly the Dorothy...

[9:32] Who she chose to divorce.

[9:34] Who she chose to divorce, yeah.

[9:35] This is clearly the Dorothy, the Bea Arthur, you know, just kind of like the one who sneers

[9:39] at everybody else and looks down on them.

[9:41] Here's where the problem gets in.

[9:42] You've got Mary Steenbergen as Carol, who is a chef, who is married to Craig T. Nelson,

[9:47] and is kind of...

[9:48] She's just kind of a lady who is upset that she and her husband aren't intimate very often.

[9:52] And you've got Diane Keaton, who is a woman with two grown daughters, who are treating

[9:57] her as if she is more fragile than she is.

[10:00] of her age. You've got two roses right here. You've got two Betty Whites. There is Nary a Sophia

[10:06] to be found in the film. They're missing an Estelle Getty. And this throws off the very

[10:11] perfect and very essential chemistry of the Golden Girls experiment where you had one,

[10:15] the sexpot, two, the goof, three, the uptight one, and four, the sarcastic mom of the uptight one.

[10:23] Guys, this movie needs an older old woman. Even grumpy old men had a grumpy older man

[10:28] in the form of Burgess Meredith. And yet in this movie, you've got two roses and no Sophias.

[10:35] And of the roses, Diane Keaton is by far the better rose.

[10:40] They don't give the roses as much comedically to do as the rose in Golden Girls.

[10:45] No, well, I mean, Golden Girls is also great. That's the difference is also the

[10:47] Golden Girls is great. And Book Club is kind of like,

[10:51] it's just kind of got running through the motions. But let's explain. Okay,

[10:53] so you've got these four indelible characters.

[10:55] I kind of feel like they're a little bit closer to the four women in the sex in the city or sex

[11:02] and the city series. It's called Sexy City. It's called Sexy City, New York.

[11:07] I believe it's sex and the city because there's an ampersand, isn't there?

[11:11] Yeah, but that ampersand stands for a Y. Sexy the city.

[11:14] Maybe it's sex in the city. Let's look it up.

[11:16] Sex and the city. It's sex and the city, guys. It's not sex in the city. It's sex and the city.

[11:22] All right.

[11:23] Or is it sex in the city?

[11:23] It's like Dan.

[11:25] Dan. Okay, so how does it map on? Map these characters onto the sex in the city characters.

[11:28] Let's see.

[11:30] So there's Charlotte.

[11:33] Okay.

[11:34] She's like one of them.

[11:36] Okay. She's like Candace Berrigan because she's the uptight one and she's a lawyer and

[11:40] Candace Berrigan is a federal judge.

[11:42] There's Miranda.

[11:45] Okay.

[11:46] She's like one of them.

[11:48] Okay.

[11:50] Is Miranda the Kim Cattrall?

[11:53] Yeah.

[11:53] Because Jane Fonda is very much the Kim Cattrall.

[11:57] There's Courtney.

[12:00] Is there?

[12:01] I don't think there's a Courtney.

[12:03] You're thinking of the friends. That's Courtney Cox.

[12:05] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[12:06] Wait, that was her name?

[12:09] Yeah, I mean, it is her name.

[12:09] Well, this movie, Diane Keaton is playing Diane, which is pretty good.

[12:13] Her character's name is Diane, which I thought was very funny.

[12:15] Guys, I discovered that it is Sex and the City, but there is no ampersand.

[12:19] It's written out.

[12:20] So I totally misremembered that.

[12:22] I'm sorry.

[12:23] I want to apologize to everyone for that before I get tweeted.

[12:26] No, Dan, I have to assume that you've been watching some kind of like bootleg ripoff

[12:30] called Sex and the City where they're very generic about what city it is because they

[12:35] don't want to get sued, but it probably is Cincinnati.

[12:39] It is hot there, I hear.

[12:40] Yeah.

[12:40] No, no, it's Cleveland is where it's hot, Dan.

[12:43] Hot Cleveland.

[12:44] Oh, it's WKRP in Cincinnati is what it is.

[12:47] Yeah, yeah.

[12:47] It's very WKRP in Cincinnati.

[12:50] Do you think there was somebody at the time who was like WKRP in Cincinnati?

[12:53] What is this?

[12:54] A science fiction show?

[12:56] Must be a typo in the old TV guy.

[12:59] I'm going to assume it's called Woke Up in Cincinnati, and it's about somebody who fell

[13:03] asleep on a bus, and now they got to get back, but with a typo.

[13:08] Well, I guess I don't need to watch the show because I'm not interested in that premise,

[13:11] and he missed out on one of the classic sitcoms of the 1970s.

[13:14] Yeah, and he's never going to get to see it because of the music rights, at least not

[13:18] in a very cut up form.

[13:20] Yeah, yeah.

[13:20] Well, now when he finally watches, he's going to be like, this is the show because they

[13:23] can't play those scenes that have the old music in them.

[13:25] Yeah.

[13:25] So guys, so you got these four characters, they're Sex and the City golden girls, and

[13:30] they each have their story very much like a sitcom.

[13:32] They each have their story that they're going to go through, but they're all friends, and

[13:35] they still meet every week for title card book club.

[13:39] Now, I want to mention before we get into the plot that the soundtrack to this movie

[13:43] is bonkers.

[13:45] I think Austin Powers had a more subtle soundtrack than this one.

[13:49] If you just listen to the music, you'd be like, what kind of crazy cartoony hijinks

[13:53] are going on in this movie?

[13:54] Oh, so you mean the score?

[13:56] You're not talking about how they use more than this by Roxy Music?

[14:00] No, no, no.

[14:00] I'm not talking about the pop song soundtracks, because there's a part at the end where they

[14:06] play a meatloaf song and everybody acts as if it's the craziest thing they've ever heard.

[14:11] Okay, so these women, when they get together, you better believe they make lots of sex puns.

[14:16] Oh boy, the innuendos are flying wild.

[14:21] Speaking of, they've just read the book Wild, and Jane Fonda did not like it.

[14:24] They mentioned that the theme of this year's book club is bestsellers that were made into

[14:28] movies, which is kind of a silly theme for a book club, because they probably would have

[14:33] read these books already.

[14:34] But Jane Fonda is like, hey, ladies, here's the book we should read, 50 Shades of Grey.

[14:39] And they're like, no, come on, come on.

[14:41] And she goes, hey, we started this to stimulate our minds.

[14:46] And Jane Fonda goes, I hear it's quite stimulating.

[14:48] That's the level of dialogue that we're going to get in the movie.

[14:51] And it's great for me, Stuart, the person watching the movie, because I know those stories,

[14:57] so I know what they're in for.

[14:58] Yeah, that was the funny thing, was watching it, having seen all three movies for this

[15:02] podcast, there were times where I'm like, so how are they going to deal with the part

[15:06] where they think he's died in a helicopter crash?

[15:08] Is that something that they're going to bring up?

[15:09] Like, are they going to bring up the whole subplot with the guy who wants revenge?

[15:13] They don't.

[15:13] Can I just, I know that we've paused a lot before getting into the plot, but can I just

[15:17] say my thing?

[15:18] We get to make the rules.

[15:19] Look, it's coronavirus time.

[15:20] We make the rules.

[15:21] Things are crazy.

[15:21] Just say what you want to say.

[15:22] Do what you want to do.

[15:23] Can you stop a friend Adam's family?

[15:25] Well, I just want to talk about how linked this movie is to 50 Shades of Grey.

[15:31] Because, like, all right, I don't want to deny, like, at the time there were all these

[15:35] articles about how, like, you know, like, older women or women who, like, maybe had,

[15:42] like, sort of settled into married life or, like, rediscovering, like, sex or whatever

[15:50] because of 50 Shades of Grey or, like, whatnot.

[15:52] I believe there was a run at the hardware stores on nylon rope because so many women

[15:57] were begging to be tied up.

[15:58] Well, that's one of the things, though.

[16:00] Like, I feel like all of those stories were more about how, like, women who maybe were

[16:07] from an earlier generation where they didn't, like, talk so much about their needs were,

[16:12] like, connecting with, like, they could be honest about if they were kinky or not or,

[16:18] like, inject new elements into their sex life, which is not what this movie is.

[16:22] Like boron.

[16:23] New elements like boron or magnesium.

[16:25] This movie is much more, like, it's just, like, these women are, like, oh, yeah, sex

[16:29] when they read 50 Shades of Grey.

[16:30] That was one of the things.

[16:31] I feel like this movie makes a promise early on that we are going to see some older women

[16:36] getting invested in BDSM play and that never happens.

[16:39] I'm, like, this movie promised me implicitly that I was going to see Diane Keaton in a

[16:43] leather mask and that never happens and I was very disappointed.

[16:46] No one ever holds a writing prop.

[16:48] It's just, like, what is this movie about, you know?

[16:51] Yeah, but also I think that it's, I personally would have preferred that the movie just make

[16:57] up, like, an erotic bestseller rather than tying it so specifically to 50 Shades of Grey

[17:03] because the movie feels like this giant commercial for a lot of things.

[17:08] There are other things it feels like a commercial for, but.

[17:10] Oh, yeah.

[17:10] Motorcycles, earplugs.

[17:13] Well, bumble.

[17:13] Yeah, like.

[17:14] A bumble, yeah.

[17:15] Do you think if this movie had been made, like, 20 years earlier, it would have been

[17:19] a movie club and they were watching Basic Instinct or something?

[17:24] Yes, exactly, yes.

[17:25] They don't just read the first book.

[17:27] They, like, throughout the course of the movie, they read the entire 50 Shades trilogy and,

[17:31] like, I mean, maybe it's just because I've, you know, picked up 50 Shades of Grey and

[17:35] read some of it and know how horribly written it is, but I would prefer they just, like,

[17:40] you know, like, good, good on you.

[17:42] Go read some erotica if you want to, but, like, god damn, there's much better erotica

[17:47] to be had.

[17:48] They never make any jokes about the writing in the book, which surprised me, and I wonder

[17:52] if it's because they don't want to alienate, or maybe they like those books.

[17:55] I don't know.

[17:55] They don't want to alienate the people seeing this movie who are like, oh, I read those

[17:58] books.

[17:59] Those were good books.

[18:00] I really liked them a lot.

[18:02] It reminds me of a, there was a time when Oprah's book club, they picked 100 Years

[18:08] of Solitude and then they were picking some other book, and I remember for some reason,

[18:12] maybe it was on at work, like, seeing a little of the episode and she's like, OK, now I

[18:16] know the last book was a little difficult for some people, and women in the audience

[18:19] were nodding, and I was like, 100 Years of Solitude is a beautiful book.

[18:22] Like, I love it.

[18:23] I love that book, and it's, and I remember at the time being a young-

[18:26] But now you're going to drag it?

[18:27] Well, no, no.

[18:28] At the time being a young callow jerk and being like, that's not a difficult book.

[18:32] Like, it's a beautiful book, and it had to be pointed out to me by someone else, like,

[18:36] not everybody is, like, a reader, and I don't mean that in a condescending way, but, like,

[18:40] not everybody is just going to pick up Gabriel Garcia Marquez and be like, oh, yeah, I really

[18:44] get this.

[18:44] So for a lot of people, it probably was a much more challenging book than they're used

[18:47] to, and they might be the kind of people who when they read Fifty Shades of Grey, they're

[18:50] not like, oh, this is so horribly written.

[18:53] They might be like, eh, this isn't the best written book, but I'm enjoying it.

[18:56] So, like, I want to see it from the point of view of people who maybe don't have such

[18:59] snobbish standards as me.

[19:01] Right, and I also want to say, like, we are aware that we are all middle-aged men, and

[19:08] so-

[19:09] I'm approaching middle age.

[19:12] Speaking as such, you know, we can't necessarily speak to older women's desires and hearts.

[19:22] No, no, but I think we all come to this from a place of, like, older women's sex positivity.

[19:27] No, definitely.

[19:28] Okay, so getting into the plot, basically, Diane Keaton, she has to go visit her kids.

[19:33] They all live in L.A., I think.

[19:35] Her kids live in Arizona, and she's going to go visit them, and she has a meet-cute

[19:39] on an airplane with Andy Garcia, and they're flirting, and then she accidentally grabs

[19:44] his dick for a reason I couldn't quite understand.

[19:47] Because she got scared.

[19:48] He also-

[19:49] Andy Garcia, from scene one until the end of the movie, seems drunk the whole time.

[19:56] He's doing an accent that I couldn't quite pinpoint.

[19:58] I thought he might have been Greek.

[19:59] I'm not sure.

[20:00] I will say having watched this movie with Audrey, she was like shouting at the screen.

[20:04] She did not like Andy Garcia because she felt like he was a cocky guy who was constantly

[20:10] like sort of assuming that Diane Keaton could drop everything at any moment to like come

[20:19] see him in another city.

[20:21] Like there's a later point where he sort of ignores her fears.

[20:25] I mean in the interest of trying to push her past them but like in a way that Audrey really

[20:29] didn't respond to and I get it.

[20:32] I think he's being presented as like this romantic type that may have been better in

[20:39] a previous age where he's like a little pushy.

[20:41] He's a pilot.

[20:42] He can still drive himself at night.

[20:46] He's the most Christian Grey like figure in this in that he is a millionaire who has nobody

[20:50] else in his life and can indulge just whatever desires or fantasies he has and who also very

[20:58] early on has a sense of possession and ownership over Diane Keaton and this is not explored

[21:03] because he's just a fantasy figure of a rich handsome man who is available and shows interest

[21:08] in her.

[21:09] Yeah.

[21:10] He has a certain amount of charm because he's Andy Garcia but like he also I think he's

[21:15] being presented as a figure that will push Diane Keaton past her neuroses but just from

[21:23] Audrey's perspective watching it she was like well he's a little too like controlling

[21:28] and thinks he knows better.

[21:30] I mean later he hits on her but she doesn't know he's a pilot and she's flying back home

[21:35] and a flight attendant calls her up and it's like oh we need some information from you.

[21:38] What's your name and your phone number.

[21:40] What's your address and what nights are you free and then the pilot Andy Garcia walks

[21:44] out and he's like I'll take it from here and the flight attendant has this look on her

[21:47] face like glad I could be part of this little love prank rather than the look that they

[21:52] really would have on their faces like don't involve me in your stalking and then an alarm

[21:59] goes off in the cockpit and he refuses to answer it until Diane Keaton agrees to go

[22:03] on a date with him and it's supposed to be I think cute but it's like this is scary and

[22:08] if he set off the alarm on purpose as like a part of the prank which I assume he did

[22:13] it's like that's worse like he's playing a lot of mind games with her and in a movie

[22:18] that was more keyed into Fifty Shades of Grey that would be like acknowledged as creepy

[22:21] but instead it's supposed to be just cute here you know yeah anyway meanwhile Mary Steenburgen

[22:27] Craig T. Nelson her husband has just not been showing interest in the bedroom and we see

[22:32] her she they go on their anniversary dinner and Craig T. Nelson gets her a very romantic

[22:37] gift two sets of earplugs so that she can watch her TV shows while he's sleeping and

[22:41] his snoring won't keep him up will keep her up and she gets him dance lessons because

[22:46] her annual charity dinner is coming up and it's going to be a talent show and she wants

[22:50] to dance neither of them are happy with these gifts she starts reading the book while watering

[22:54] a plant and we see the moisture meter on the plant go to high and it was like come on everybody

[23:00] what are we doing here like what kind of Benny Hill level joke is this I mean I expected

[23:06] it to cut to a shot of like the Great British Baking Show and have Mary Berry be like that's

[23:11] a soggy bottom oh my there's a lot of those types of puns too later on Craig T. Nelson

[23:17] really gets into his old motorcycle and there's so many lines about like oh yeah I gotta lube

[23:21] her up so I can mount her and I can climb on top of her and ride her all night and she

[23:25] looks at the camera basically and is like oh what about me I gotta say like that it's

[23:29] like it's like sexy Andy Kapp is what it feels like to me. Craig T. Nelson's like I want

[23:34] to get on my motorcycle and squirt jizz out of my ballsack all over it. He's like I can't

[23:39] I just can't wait to insert my dick into this motorcycle and pleasure it all night long.

[23:43] I found some of that funny not because the like gag itself is funny but because like

[23:50] all of the women are in a room and they know the problem that the two of them have been

[23:54] having and so they're all kind of like reacting to it and sort of trying to stifle their reactions

[23:58] and this is going to be a running theme in the movie the material is bad but the actors

[24:04] are all so good that they managed to sell a surprising amount of it. I mean it's kind

[24:08] of like Sex and the City that way. Sex and the City was so full of dumb puns but like

[24:13] the performers in it are good performers. There's a line that our old boss at the Daily

[24:18] Show Tim Carvell used to do which was his version of a Sex and the City about old women

[24:22] where it would be meanwhile on the other side of a town Estelle was having some assisted

[24:26] living of her own and like that's kind of what this movie is is that line that joke

[24:30] in like pumped up into a whole movie. All the women they're reacting super cartoonishly

[24:36] as they read it like they're tech savory wolves their eyes are popping out of their

[24:39] heads they're turning into steam whistles and the soundtrack like I said the score is

[24:44] so cartoony. In my notes I wrote that it's like the whole movie is a swing band in a

[24:47] car chase like that's what it sounds like at times. Jane Fonda's old beau Arthur played

[24:53] by Don Johnson he shows up and he just will not leave her alone and takes her out for

[24:58] ice cream talks about how his wife left him and they end up waiting in a fountain for

[25:02] a lucky penny because she made a bad wish on it. It's all so adorable and a security

[25:07] officer on a Segway comes by and takes a picture of them and there are a couple of security

[25:11] officer or cop moments in this movie and I just kept imagining the auditions where improv

[25:16] actor after improv actor came in to like audition for this role and they'd be like oh yeah yeah

[25:20] well we shoot it you'll make it into a bigger role with your improv and that doesn't happen.

[25:24] I will say I felt so bad. Yeah. Regarding Don Johnson I know that this is I mean maybe

[25:29] it's like whose name is also his name is a pun for penis like that's the other thing

[25:33] is like it's like the movie is so full of puns that even the actor's name in the in

[25:38] the credits reads as a metaphor bleeds into reality. Yeah. I mean maybe it's like in the

[25:42] mouth of madness that way. Maybe this is just turnabout is fair play because like women

[25:48] so often get underwritten roles in this sort of movie. But I could not tell you anything

[25:54] about what the character of Don Johnson was supposed to be other than he likes Jane Fonda.

[25:58] His whole personality was he wears a kind of a funny hat. He wears a funny hat. He used

[26:02] to be a radio DJ. Yeah. And he likes Jane Fonda. And that is the and I don't know what

[26:06] he does for business now. He had to fly into L.A. for business. Maybe it was a radio convention.

[26:10] I don't know. But he also seems to be genuinely rich like everybody in the movie is. Now I

[26:15] haven't watched all the special features on the Blu-ray disc of this. I'm assuming there

[26:19] was a scene that's on the cutting room floor where Don Johnson's character is talking to

[26:24] Jane Fonda's character and he's like, Oh, you're in a book club. What are you reading right now?

[26:28] And she shows him and it like cuts to his eyeballs and like a giallo movie and his blood runs cold

[26:34] because it makes him think that's his daughter in those movies. Yeah, that's probably exactly

[26:41] what happens. I would do you think he had a family event? He was like, Oh, I'm making a

[26:46] Fifty Shades movie too. It's family stuff. We can bond over this. That's that's a really good

[26:52] impression. It's me, Don Johnson, my daughter. We're going to bond over this. Hey, I'm like a

[27:01] Donald Johnson. Yeah, well, making one of these Fifty Shades movies just like you were like

[27:08] daughter, like daddy, huh? Yeah. Your daddy is in a Fifty Shades movie. And she's like,

[27:11] please stop saying that. Call me daddy more. Meanwhile, Candace Cameron, she is cyber stalking

[27:18] her ex-husband who has a. Sorry, Candace Cameron. Sorry, Candace Bergen. Dan's been waiting for

[27:23] that fuck up. You got it. You knew it was going to happen and you got me. Finally. Candace Bergen,

[27:29] she is cyber stalking her ex-husband and she finds these what we mentioned before were the

[27:34] worst photoshopped pictures maybe in the history of Photoshop. Now, in a way, I think they're

[27:40] deliberately bad looking because they're so silly. They have to be like it literally was like a photo

[27:46] booth at a wedding. Like that's what it looks like. Now, I want to object to this scene because like,

[27:51] all right. So as a. Oh, I'll say she gets caught by her law clerk. She's doing this at work. And

[27:56] anyway, but Dan, as a previously unattached man, this originally confused me a lot. This was before

[28:04] you were this before you were turned into a human centipede. Now that you're attached. Yeah. Yeah.

[28:08] I'm I'm attached. It's amazing that I can still talk with my mouth sewn to someone's butt. But

[28:15] well, I assumed you were the front, but I didn't realize either middle or the back.

[28:18] No, I'm talking into the person in front is saying what I'm saying with my voice,

[28:23] like a kind of a ratatouille, like, you know, like pull the hair and make the guy move sort

[28:28] of situation. And OK, I think that's the first time someone's compared human centipede and

[28:32] ratatouille. Sure. I mean, even the middle, are you in the back? What? I am in the the second

[28:42] best position, which is the middle. Now, I wonder if not at all. Not at all, sir. Not at all. Back

[28:50] is the. So you have a little bit of freedom and then you can just poop freely into the air. But

[28:54] you've got intended people's poop. I mean, I guess like there's a lot less poop maybe by the time.

[28:58] No, I got to say, once you're eating one person's poop, you might as well throw the other person's

[29:02] poop on the plate. I mean, I don't I don't think we I don't think there's any contest. You know,

[29:08] the front is the best because you have to eat all the food and you have somebody eating your ass all

[29:11] day long. Yeah, sure. The second best, because you can poop whenever you want. Yeah. And you

[29:18] get to eat someone's ass all day long. And so and this is happening in the book club episode.

[29:25] So I think I'm wondering if what if this movie came out a couple years earlier was called Movie

[29:30] Club and it's these four women who watch human centipede and they're like, I guess this is what

[29:33] people are doing now and they make themselves into human centipede and it reinvigorates their

[29:38] lives. Talk about this anymore. What I wanted to say was, you know, there was a period when I was

[29:44] using dating apps. So this Bumble thing confused me for a long time because. All right. First off,

[29:49] it was clear. She goes on Bumble to find this stuff. We should say, yeah, it was it wasn't clear

[29:55] that I mean, you do know that Bumble is a dating app for bees, right? Could

[30:00] That's why you were dating so many bees for a while.

[30:02] I'm speaking from experience.

[30:03] More like clumsy bees.

[30:05] Or clumsy people, yeah.

[30:06] Well, that's Fumble.

[30:07] All right.

[30:08] Fumble is the dating app for people like Steve Carell and 40-year-old Virgin who just keep

[30:11] having clumsy accidents that get in the way of their love life.

[30:15] Yeah.

[30:16] So, it was confusing.

[30:17] Not to be confused with Grumble, the dating app for Andy Rooney's.

[30:20] Now, Dan, you were saying Bumble.

[30:23] It was confusing for me.

[30:25] Here's a look behind the curtain.

[30:26] I like to talk until Dan is so irritated that he just starts checking his phone.

[30:30] When he picks up his phone, I know it's time to let him talk.

[30:32] So, Dan?

[30:33] Yeah, it was confusing to me for a moment because it looked like she was doing this

[30:37] on her desktop.

[30:38] And I'm like, okay, well, first off, Bumble's an app, so that's weird.

[30:41] But then later on, it becomes clear that she is using a tablet to do this.

[30:45] But then secondly...

[30:46] Oh, good.

[30:47] I'm glad that plot hole got covered up with cement.

[30:50] That's how my mom does most of her computing.

[30:52] Yeah.

[30:54] But secondly, she learns that her husband is dating this much younger woman by the Bumble

[31:02] thing.

[31:03] It was like, oh, matched.

[31:04] And I'm like, what?

[31:05] You can't see other people's matches on Bumble.

[31:07] But it turns out that I guess it's an ad for Bumble that's like, oh, these two people matched.

[31:13] You could too.

[31:14] But that suggests the question, why is her husband showing up for her in this ad?

[31:20] I mean, she was Googling him right before.

[31:23] He's not going to be a keyword in this advertisement for Bumble.

[31:26] Well, she has learned that her husband is dating because her son calls her to announce

[31:31] his engagement.

[31:32] And he mentions that.

[31:33] So she goes on Bumble and is confronted with this ad.

[31:36] And I have to assume that, as in the song, there's always something there to remind her.

[31:43] And in this case, it's that ad.

[31:44] It's a Kafkaesque existence where she's confronted at every moment with evidence of her ex-husband's

[31:50] life.

[31:51] She's a judge.

[31:52] She deals with a lot of cases that are tangentially related to her ex-husband, which, again, is

[31:55] a conflict of interest.

[31:56] She should be recusing herself from those cases.

[31:58] But I think it is the kind of movie logic, Dan, where someone will turn on the radio

[32:03] and there's a news report about whatever's going on that's important to the plot.

[32:10] But you're right.

[32:11] This ad comes up that's like, Bumble helped this older man to get with a much younger

[32:14] woman.

[32:15] Isn't Bumble right for you?

[32:18] But she gets caught by her clerk and she doesn't want to get involved.

[32:21] She doesn't want to dip her toe in the radical, revolutionary world of Internet dating, which

[32:25] I'll mention again is how I met my wife 15 years ago.

[32:29] But this is a scary new world for her.

[32:31] Is that Candace Bergen's character is hungry.

[32:34] She needs a slice of something.

[32:35] That's right.

[32:36] I think she needs a slice of Dreif.

[32:38] Richard Dreif just shows up.

[32:40] I haven't thought about a slice of Dreif in a long time.

[32:43] Playing 69-year-old George.

[32:47] We'll get to that.

[32:48] We'll get to that.

[32:49] Because she hasn't put herself out there yet.

[32:50] But she is.

[32:51] Anyway.

[32:52] I don't want to spoil it for everybody.

[32:53] I know everybody's waiting for George to show up.

[32:54] It's going to be great.

[32:55] I don't want to bear the weight.

[32:57] I mentioned Richard Dreifus in the beginning and people were like, but who does Richard

[32:59] Dreifus play?

[33:00] Because Richard Dreifus, I mean, he hasn't been on movie screens that much for a while.

[33:05] I mean, what was the last time?

[33:06] For a lot of people, he's still Max Bickford or Kippendorf and he doesn't have a new character

[33:10] to replace that.

[33:11] Krippendorf.

[33:12] Krippendorf.

[33:13] I'm sorry.

[33:14] Please.

[33:15] I actually looked him up.

[33:17] I should remember from my anthropology minor at school that it was Krippendorf who discovered

[33:20] that tribe.

[33:21] Yes, Dan?

[33:22] It turns out he has been working much more than you would have thought.

[33:25] Like he's been in movies over the past few years, but they just haven't been movies that

[33:30] people have seen.

[33:33] He played Thanos.

[33:34] He played Tony Stark.

[33:35] Oh, wow.

[33:36] Nope.

[33:37] Nope.

[33:38] No.

[33:39] So he was two different characters in Avengers.

[33:40] Yeah.

[33:41] Yeah.

[33:42] They used CGI.

[33:43] Okay.

[33:44] Okay.

[33:45] It was a Dead Ringers type scenario, I guess.

[33:48] The last thing I think I remember seeing him in was that movie that we watched.

[33:52] Was it?

[33:53] What was it?

[33:54] Where he was Lesser Hemsworth's dad?

[33:57] Piranha 3D.

[33:58] What?

[33:59] Piranha 3D.

[34:00] No, no.

[34:01] He's not in that, right?

[34:02] He is in it.

[34:03] He's at the beginning.

[34:04] He gets eaten by piranhas.

[34:05] It's a joke about jaws.

[34:06] Oh, right.

[34:07] I forgot about that.

[34:08] But we did a movie for Flophouse that he was in years ago.

[34:11] So Diane Keaton is visiting her daughters again.

[34:14] They're treating her.

[34:15] They're really babying her.

[34:16] Mary Steenburgen calls to ask-

[34:17] This specific relationship was the one that made my wife the most angry.

[34:21] Yeah.

[34:22] It was like-

[34:23] Between Diane Keaton and her daughters.

[34:24] Between Diane Keaton and her daughters.

[34:25] Oh, yeah.

[34:26] Me too.

[34:27] They treat her like such a weird child the whole time.

[34:30] And it's like, dude, we're at fucking Pucca de Beppo, man.

[34:34] Just let me take this fucking phone call.

[34:37] She leaves the restaurant to take this fucking phone call.

[34:41] And both of them leave the table.

[34:43] And it's like, you can't leave your fucking idiot husbands at Pucca de Beppo.

[34:46] They're going to eat all this shit.

[34:47] Yeah.

[34:48] They're going to finish it.

[34:49] There'll be none left.

[34:50] And that's expensive.

[34:51] To be fair-

[34:52] They're going to give it all over your children.

[34:53] To be fair, her children are horrible meddlers.

[34:57] But Diane Keaton also treats it like this is the sitcomiest plot.

[35:02] Because for reasons that, you know, maybe if I was an older mother of adult children,

[35:11] I would think differently.

[35:13] But I'm like, why aren't you just talking to your children about what's going on in

[35:16] your life?

[35:17] You feel the need for the whole movie to hide your new relationship.

[35:21] Oh, no.

[35:22] Dan, as the son of two parents who often don't tell me things about their personal lives

[35:27] that you think would be useful for me to know, I can speak to that.

[35:30] Which is, I believe that part.

[35:32] But she's not just, like, not thinking about it.

[35:36] Like, she's actively hiding it away.

[35:38] And she, like, makes up a lie to run off with this guy and then doesn't answer her

[35:42] phone as they get increasingly worried about her.

[35:45] Hey.

[35:46] You've got to hide your love away, Dan.

[35:47] Sorry, I yelled, hey, just for that joke, but it was really rude.

[35:51] And the thing is, like, I dream of a day when, like, a hunky, drunk, Arizonan pilot takes

[35:59] my dad away.

[36:00] It'll happen, Stu.

[36:01] It'll happen.

[36:02] Just, you've got to make sure he gets out there.

[36:09] Also, your parents are still married, I believe?

[36:12] Yeah, I mean, my mom can go, too.

[36:14] She's chill.

[36:15] Your mom is very cool.

[36:17] You do have a very cool mom.

[36:19] So Mary Steenburgen calls an emergency book club.

[36:22] This is the part I didn't believe.

[36:23] She goes, I have to call an emergency book club so we can figure out if sex spanking

[36:26] is a thing.

[36:27] Because this book has got me all turned inside out.

[36:29] You have to fly back now.

[36:31] And she and Craig T. Nelson have a dance lesson from their very stern dance teacher,

[36:34] and he is not enjoying it.

[36:36] So Candace Bergen, meanwhile, she goes to the vet with her cat.

[36:39] The doctor refers to it as a lethargic pussy, and we're like, yeah, yeah, we get it, okay.

[36:44] She has an elderly cat, and we already mentioned that Andy Garcia hits on Diane Keaton while

[36:49] playing on her fears of flying and being a creepy stalker dude.

[36:53] They have another book club scene, and Diane Keaton is like, oh, no, wait, that's later

[36:59] on.

[37:00] I just want to point out to you that we're 27 minutes into the movie, and this was when

[37:02] Danielle quit watching, when my wife walked away and said, I can't take any more of this

[37:06] movie.

[37:07] Yeah, she was hoping for them to spend more time talking about the books, right?

[37:10] Well, I will say that the movie is, like, one of the times that the movie works better

[37:15] than others is when they're all together at book club, because then you get to see these

[37:19] great actors, like, interacting.

[37:22] I mean, other than, like, there were some parts where, like, I was annoyed at the movie's,

[37:25] like, script, because it was just like, let's reiterate exactly what's going on.

[37:30] So the slowest members of the audience will understand exactly what's happening.

[37:36] But the interplay was good.

[37:37] And a lot of the scenes just feel like delivery systems for these women to walk from one well-appointed

[37:44] snack spread to the next.

[37:46] Yes.

[37:47] I mean, this is in that very Nancy Meyer vein of, like, it's a certain sort of pornography

[37:53] about beautiful kitchens and the ease of having everything that you want at your fingertips

[37:58] at all times.

[37:59] I actually have a voice memo from Audrey about this book club that I feel like this is the

[38:03] time to play.

[38:04] So I'm going to just pump up my volume on this.

[38:07] And here you go.

[38:08] Now.

[38:09] Book club?

[38:10] I think it's more of a wine club.

[38:11] Am I right?

[38:12] All right.

[38:13] So that was the...

[38:14] Yes, she's right.

[38:15] That more of a wine club, you said?

[38:16] More of a wine club.

[38:17] I mean, most book clubs, it feels like to me, are excuses to drink with your friends.

[38:18] Oh, yeah.

[38:19] But, like, in a structured setting.

[38:20] It's a way...

[38:21] I mean, a book club is just...

[38:22] Yeah.

[38:23] I mean...

[38:24] is just a way to force you to get together with your friends regularly so you don't lose

[38:33] track of them.

[38:34] Right?

[38:35] Yeah.

[38:36] It's not something like...

[38:37] Like this podcast.

[38:38] Yeah, like this shitty podcast we've been doing forever.

[38:39] Anyway, now we're going to enter into what I call the dating sequence, where everyone

[38:46] goes on dates.

[38:47] Diane Keaton goes on a date with her pilot, tells him the story of her first kiss, which

[38:50] also involves a man grabbing...

[38:52] When she's a teenager and a teacher grabbing her head and then planting a kiss on her,

[38:57] which she calls very romantic, but which felt like, again, like a story where I was like,

[39:01] that's not an okay story.

[39:03] That sounds creepy, too.

[39:05] She tells that story when they're out at dinner at a table that is very far away from the

[39:09] edge of this outdoor seating area.

[39:14] Like I've been to outdoor restaurants, they kind of pack them in there so they can maximize

[39:18] the space.

[39:19] But no dice at this one.

[39:20] No, no.

[39:21] Well, you know, it's a movie.

[39:22] They had camera equipment and stuff, probably.

[39:24] The others have goaded Candice Bergen into online dating.

[39:27] She finally joins.

[39:28] She sets up a profile with a picture of her with a face mask on for some reason, like

[39:32] one of those nighttime face masks.

[39:34] Well, not for some reason.

[39:35] She can't figure out how to operate the app, so she takes an accidental picture of herself.

[39:41] Okay, that's fair.

[39:43] I'm going to skip ahead a little bit and just say that she goes on this...

[39:47] I'll just say very briefly, Mary C. Bergen, she tries to seduce Craig T. Nelson with her

[39:51] old waitress uniform.

[39:52] She looks amazing.

[39:54] And he is so much more interested in his motorcycle.

[39:56] He is not interested in it.

[39:59] They try to buy...

[40:00] uh... candace bergen as sexy dress and she seems to be

[40:03] unable to put dresses on she tries to run over her clothes which makes no

[40:06] sense to me like or maybe it's just a very elaborate

[40:09] kind of spanx undergarment that she's wearing that looks like a full suit of

[40:12] clothes

[40:13] under her dress and uh...

[40:15] and this is important for later

[40:16] jane fonda slips mary steenburgen in her hands not

[40:19] to nazis

[40:20] gives her a viagra pill to slip to her husband later

[40:23] because as she says a lumberjack is happiest when he has wood

[40:27] uh... i'll leave it to you guys to untangle with that

[40:31] is that true lumberjacks if there's lumberjacks listening tell us if you're

[40:35] happiest when you have wood because to me it seems like that's you know your

[40:38] job

[40:39] maybe you like it maybe you don't but uh...

[40:41] you know right in

[40:43] but i i feel like if there's

[40:44] i mean no wood means no work

[40:46] you know that's true

[40:48] so i assume that's part of it

[40:49] i'm not necessarily at my happiest when i'm at work elliott

[40:52] very good point very good point in fact i would say that you're unhappiest which

[40:56] would make it difficult to say someone was trying to supervise you

[40:59] and get you to do some work

[41:01] but i wouldn't know what that's like

[41:02] i can't stand work

[41:03] don't fuck with me

[41:05] so but let's skip ahead to where

[41:07] the date

[41:08] this is a real slice of dreyf

[41:10] stewart why don't you set the scene for this one since i know you're raring to

[41:13] talk about richard dreyfus's indelible iconic

[41:15] persona

[41:16] as george

[41:17] okay so they're like in a restaurant

[41:19] and uh... george seems like a normal guy like he doesn't seem like

[41:24] you know he has uh... he has a brooks brothers shirt on

[41:27] and uh... yeah it's a nice little date you know

[41:30] they have

[41:31] a really pleasant first date but for some reason

[41:35] it's written so that

[41:36] candace bergen's character thinks this is a disaster at every moment it's like

[41:39] they're both nervous

[41:40] they get over it

[41:41] they talk with ease and calm

[41:43] by the end of it

[41:44] they kiss she kisses him and then they have sex in the back of her car

[41:48] and the lesson she gets from that is

[41:51] i do not want to see this man ever again and i'm just going to date other people now

[41:55] which makes no sense to me

[41:57] yeah i don't know what happens there like that i

[41:59] i wonder if there was something cut from the movie i have no idea the whole movie

[42:03] whenever they went back to candace bergen i'm like why aren't you dating richard dreyfus

[42:07] well i'll tell you why because she goes back home and she's got more messages and the

[42:10] first one we see is from

[42:11] you guessed it

[42:12] wally shawn oh yeah

[42:15] some man candy

[42:16] one please somebody's not having dinner with andre tonight because he's taking

[42:20] candace bergen out for a date

[42:23] it was the moment i saw wallace shawn i was like

[42:26] thank you movie yes this is exactly what i needed right now is to know that a little

[42:29] bit of this movie's budget went to paying wallace shawn so that he could write

[42:34] the most scathing like unpleasant like wonderful play about how modern society

[42:39] is built on the back of exploited workers and bloodshed

[42:42] it makes me very happy to know that book club has has contributed to that in some

[42:46] way by employing him

[42:48] dike eaten she runs off from her family she makes an excuse and says that her

[42:51] house was robbed and she has to leave

[42:53] but she doesn't fly home

[42:54] she flies

[42:56] to her pilot's house and is we first realize that he's probably a millionaire

[42:59] because he has an enormous house

[43:01] and he takes her for a ride in some plane thing right

[43:04] he invented some kind of engine that has less drag or something i don't

[43:07] know yeah it's like a like a tuscan villa

[43:11] yeah it's nice

[43:13] i mean i'm tuscany but it's in the style of such it's an arizona villa

[43:17] and he takes her in a little prop plane and she's like no no no i'm scared but

[43:22] she takes it he takes her in it this is when it's the most like a fifty shades

[43:24] gray movie because the whole scene is just

[43:27] just crane just just helicopter shots of arizona desert and then shots of them in

[43:31] the cockpit going like wow look at that

[43:34] whoa like and the whole point of the movie is over life is wonderful if you're

[43:37] rich and have your own plane and can fly around whenever you want

[43:40] so very fifty shades of gray

[43:43] that particular

[43:44] uh... and she says hey my marriage actually died a long time after that

[43:47] she's a widower tank in her husband died last year

[43:50] she's a widow

[43:51] she's a widower she's a widow

[43:53] and you know she's a

[43:55] this is a two correction uh... show for me this is great

[43:59] wow dan you're on top of the world has been turned topsy-turvy

[44:02] uh... what if i can i defend myself and say she's a widow

[44:08] could be

[44:09] could be no

[44:10] she's a right history

[44:12] sure okay uh...

[44:14] uh... abraham lincoln lived

[44:16] and the dinosaurs are still around

[44:18] yeah trump didn't win alright let's go

[44:20] now guys

[44:22] in duck tales they never did rewrite history did they

[44:25] no they solved occasional mysteries

[44:28] yeah and i would say life wasn't really a duck blur

[44:32] no

[44:32] was it like a hurricane though

[44:35] in duckburg specifically

[44:37] okay that uh... so she says uh... my husband my marriage died long before my

[44:41] husband did which is a cruel thing to say

[44:43] uh...

[44:45] let's get back to candace bergen because while waiting for her date with wallace

[44:48] shawn which i have to assume is

[44:50] how many that's everybody's dream right is to have a one-on-one time with wallace

[44:55] shawn

[44:56] or is it just mine he's a lovable guy

[44:58] you know and uh...

[44:59] it's uh... i think this movie missed a beat by not having uh... alicia

[45:03] silverstone interact with them in a clueless reunion

[45:06] uh... that would've been wonderful yeah that would've been great

[45:10] uh... while she's waiting for him she runs into her ex-husband and his much

[45:13] younger fiance

[45:15] uh... because

[45:17] they live nearby i i i the whole thing i was so confused by her relationship with

[45:21] her family members she has a son who she seems to have almost no relationship

[45:24] with

[45:25] uh... he certainly doesn't show up in the movie until the very end

[45:28] well in this scene when he does show up he looks like the guy from love on a leash

[45:32] when he's a man

[45:34] yeah

[45:34] not when he's a dog

[45:36] also in this scene uh... handis bergen

[45:39] handis bergen seems to be learning for the first time that her ex and her son

[45:44] are having a joint engagement party and i'm like

[45:46] okay even if you're like not talking to your ex like you should know this from your

[45:50] son probably

[45:51] that he's having an engagement party

[45:53] i mean it seems like she has

[45:55] really cut herself off in a big way from her family

[45:58] her son

[45:59] calls and says he's getting engaged

[46:01] she seems to be surprised even that he's in a relationship like it really

[46:05] feels like

[46:06] she is i think she's like but you're a dog

[46:09] hahahaha

[46:12] only during the day

[46:14] mom my love is on a leash now i want to say that we thought that the uh... much

[46:18] younger girlfriend uh... was real scene stealer uh... she had a really funny

[46:22] reaction in a later scene that i i want to highlight but also

[46:26] the way she's like just overly friendly to everyone and does look a little bent

[46:29] over hug

[46:31] uh... as she's meeting them uh... was pretty funny i thought

[46:34] so you said this is uh... i believe this is mercy on monroe

[46:36] is her name

[46:38] and uh... a lot of stuff

[46:39] uh... but mostly you know one shots on t.v.

[46:44] apparently corner wikipedia

[46:45] she was in a movie that was a parody of jet after movies that i've never heard

[46:48] of before

[46:50] but anyway uh... so

[46:52] the

[46:53] this year so that the walsh on shows up

[46:55] and his friends like uh... this is weird

[46:58] walsh on a big lead junior and and sheryl the fiance proceed to have

[47:02] a very pleasant normal conversation there's nothing weird about it no one is

[47:05] awkward

[47:06] even when walsh on mentions that he's a dj in addition to being a doctor he has a

[47:10] great line

[47:11] where he's like

[47:12] i'm doctor dan you can just call me dan that's my name or something like that

[47:15] it's it has a funny interest himself

[47:17] as a doctor

[47:18] a doctor derrick he's like i'm doctor derrick we can just call me derrick

[47:21] which is a funny it lines me

[47:24] everything seems to be going super pleasantly but what she decides is

[47:27] to embarrass and i did you know that my bubble account i think it's not it

[47:30] whatever's going on downstairs got to shut it down

[47:33] i think the implication here is that

[47:36] you know at big league junior

[47:37] her ex-husband shows up with this like hot young

[47:41] uh... fiance

[47:43] and then she shows up with walsh on shows up which is like even better

[47:47] like everyone's dream

[47:49] you don't have to tell me

[47:51] can't tell candice bergen

[47:53] that she should be lucky

[47:55] to be with walsh on

[47:56] she should be so lucky

[47:57] brilliant walsh on hilarious

[48:00] one of the pillars of the new york theater community

[48:02] and she was worried she would lose herself in the passion you know

[48:06] i guess that's probably what she was worried

[48:08] it would be like a wild orchid or wild orchid 2 situation

[48:10] yeah like a nine and a half weeks or something

[48:12] yeah

[48:13] she was worried it would be a real shade is a great thing and she'd suddenly just be a

[48:16] creature of pure

[48:17] pure lust okay

[48:19] uh...

[48:20] jane fonda she has a date with arthur don johnson

[48:23] uh... she manages to take a moment to debunk a popular reading of a robert

[48:27] frost poem

[48:27] and then they fall asleep together

[48:29] with her tickling her arm and then listening to a full album all the way

[48:32] through

[48:33] the fantasies that they shared with each other

[48:35] that robert frost thing reminded me early on there's a like joke about how

[48:40] uh... you know someone's

[48:42] uh... vagina is not getting attention and they say they reference cave of

[48:47] forgotten dreams the herzog documentary

[48:49] i was like what a weird line to be in this movie

[48:52] it's a fairly obscure it's not i mean

[48:54] bernard herzog is i guess much better known now than he once was but that's not

[48:58] one of his better known movies i mean it's a recent movie of his

[49:01] and this is the most like widely pitched as you say sitcom-y uh... comedy

[49:05] so to have that in there

[49:07] so they should have

[49:08] how'd that make for all the drafts

[49:10] they should have the reference should have been grizzly man then is what you're saying

[49:14] so yeah

[49:15] my genitals are a real grizzly man

[49:19] and that would lead to a hilarious waxing scene sure

[49:23] i wish they'd gone further with that then now all i can think of is a scene

[49:26] where they've picked like

[49:28] a calvino book

[49:29] for the book club and they're like i'll tell you my life has a non-existent night

[49:33] tell me about it people act like my vagina is an invisible city

[49:36] i thought you were going to... if on a winter's night a traveler showed up at my house

[49:40] i thought you were going to go with more herzog

[49:43] little dieter needs some sex if you know what i mean

[49:48] i could use a wrath of god down here where's my gear eh?

[49:56] encounters at the end of the world

[50:00] Let's move on, I guess.

[50:03] That counters at my end of the world.

[50:05] Yeah.

[50:06] Now I'm trying to think of it.

[50:07] No, but now I'm trying to think about the Werner Herzog thing.

[50:09] I'll tell you, even dwarves start out small.

[50:12] I'd take that right now.

[50:13] But OK.

[50:14] So she leaves it, and Diane Keaton's kids call the police to track her down.

[50:21] They track her phone to the pilot's house where she falls off the aforementioned inflatable swan into the pool.

[50:28] It's all so charming.

[50:30] As I think has been mentioned on previous episodes of the podcast, Andy Garcia falls in the pool, and my first thought is, oh, no, his phone.

[50:37] Mary Seamurchant finally puts that Viagra in Craig T. Nelson's beer, and he is not happy about it, as I wouldn't be also if my wife did that to me.

[50:47] Oh, you don't like being assaulted?

[50:49] No, I don't like being drugged.

[50:51] They get pulled over on the way home, and the lady cop makes him stand up, and then she lets him go so that they can go have sex.

[50:57] But they do not have sex.

[50:58] She gives a funny little wink where he's like, you all have a good night.

[51:02] And she goes into Mary Seamurchant and is like, and you have a good night, and winks at him.

[51:07] It's a good performance.

[51:09] I guess so.

[51:10] But they have an argument which was kind of a strangely real argument to me.

[51:15] It felt like where Craig T. Nelson is like, ever since I retired, I kind of don't know who I am,

[51:19] and I have to figure out who I am and my relationship to my life and my own body.

[51:22] And you putting this pressure on me is not helping.

[51:25] And then he walks away and bumps his dick into the wall and goes, ow.

[51:29] Well, yeah, they're having a serious argument, and throughout the entire argument, you can see this huge tint in his hands,

[51:35] which I'm ashamed at the amount that I did find that funny, the contrast between the two.

[51:42] Maybe we can rate the movie's storylines at the end, but this was my personal favorite of the storyline,

[51:49] that Mary Seamurchant and Craig T. Nelson won because it felt like it had a certain amount of actual emotional honesty.

[51:56] I had an idea of who both of the characters involved were supposed to be and what their feelings were.

[52:04] I like Mary Seamurchant a lot anyway.

[52:09] And you got a sense of what he was packing downstairs, you know?

[52:11] Yeah, a lot, apparently.

[52:13] There's a reason he's the coach.

[52:14] Huge boner through some khakis.

[52:17] Mm-hmm. I mean, not to poltergeist too much, but it's here.

[52:22] Yeah.

[52:25] What's some of the Craig T. Nelson stuff?

[52:27] The Incredibles. Talk about Mr. Incredible.

[52:30] There you go. OK, great. And that's the Craig T. Nelson bit.

[52:34] That T stands for tent in his pants.

[52:38] I'd turn her that hooch.

[52:41] No, he's not in that.

[52:43] I thought he was the bad guy and turn her in hooch.

[52:45] Oh, is he? Maybe. I don't remember.

[52:47] Is he Action Jackson? I mean, he is now.

[52:50] Wasn't Goldberg Action Jackson? No, that's Jumpin' Jack Flash.

[52:56] Although, again, this Jack Flash is jumpin'.

[52:59] OK, Stuart and Dan both looking up Craig T. Nelson's credits on their phone.

[53:03] Yeah, Craig T. Nelson was in Action Jackson, but Jackson was Carl Weathers.

[53:08] Oh, so was Craig T. Nelson the bad guy in that too?

[53:11] I'm sorry, Stuart. I didn't know about Action Jackson.

[53:15] Although, Craig T. Nelson, he did do the voice of a monster with a huge boner in Flesh Gordon.

[53:21] What? Wow.

[53:24] Yeah, so he's coming back to his roots. That was early on in his career.

[53:27] Hold on. Let me double check that to make sure I'm not misremembering it.

[53:32] I just Googled Craig T. Nelson Flesh.

[53:35] Yeah, Flesh Gordon, Craig T. Nelson as the monster.

[53:38] There's this kind of like stop-motion animation monster with a big penis, and he does the voice of it.

[53:43] So you know what? So when they said, hey, are you ashamed about doing this role?

[53:47] He was like, I'm going back to my roots, and they said, please, no more penis puns.

[53:51] So anyway, so they're upset, and she says, OK, fine.

[53:56] You don't have to dance with me at the charity dinner.

[53:59] And Diane Keaton says to Andy Garcia, I have too many responsibilities with my kids.

[54:03] I can't be in a relationship with you.

[54:05] And Jane Fonda is like, this is too much pressure, me and Arthur.

[54:09] I can't believe I fell asleep next to a man.

[54:11] I've had sex with lots of men, but I've never slept next to one.

[54:13] I can't handle this.

[54:15] And as mentioned, Candace Berrigan is like, well, it's John. Too overpowering.

[54:19] I'm a beast when I'm around him.

[54:21] I just can't control myself. I become an animal.

[54:23] So I've got to stop doing this.

[54:24] At the book club, everyone's at their act two nadir, and Diane Keaton says, you know what?

[54:29] I'm moving to Arizona, not for the pilot but to be babied by my kids.

[54:33] This is going to be my last book club.

[54:35] And it's like, oh, no, you can't break up the book club.

[54:38] You've been meeting for 40-some odd years ever since you first read Fear of Flying, which is ironic because she does have a fear of flying.

[54:45] But that's not really what the book Fear of Flying is about.

[54:48] I did think, like, did she pick it up thinking, like, it was a self-help thing or what?

[54:53] They sit around and drink together, and they kind of snipe at each other about their life problems, and then, you know what?

[54:59] They say, we have to read book three.

[55:02] That's the only way we can get out of this, and they cry together.

[55:04] And my note here says they all go forward with their lonely lives.

[55:07] Arthur, he confronts Jane Fonda, and he says, hey, I love you, and she just kind of brushes him off, gives him the cold shoulder.

[55:13] And Candace Bergen, she goes to her son-slash-husband's.

[55:16] It's two different people.

[55:18] They're not the same person.

[55:19] This is not that kind of movie.

[55:20] Oh, yeah.

[55:21] Her son and husband.

[55:22] The engagement party.

[55:23] Their engagement pool party.

[55:24] And at one point, she gives a speech, and you're like, are we about to hear her give a speech about a character we don't know at all?

[55:31] And she gives a speech while standing next to a surfboard that has this is art written on it, which was very confusing.

[55:39] I think that was meant to be an example of the kind of crazy things that this young woman is bringing into her ex-husband's life.

[55:45] Yeah.

[55:46] I kind of like the speech she gives because I think it has, like, you know, for a movie that is a sitcom, it has, like, some general genuine wisdom and heartfelt content.

[56:00] And most speeches like this in movies end up being more about the person who's giving them than the people she's supposed to be giving the speech about, but in, like, a really obvious way.

[56:13] And this played the thing, I think.

[56:16] It went down the line kind of nicely where it is, like, clearly this is influenced by, like, the lesson she has learned over the movie, but she is still making it about them rather than herself.

[56:26] Now, what's the – give me the gist of the speech.

[56:29] I know she talks about how love is a thing you have to create or something.

[56:32] What was it?

[56:33] Something that is given meaning only by the people who are meaning it and, like, it takes bravery.

[56:42] I just remember – I don't remember it.

[56:44] I just remember my original –

[56:45] Yeah, he snuck in and tattooed himself or something.

[56:47] Yeah, OK.

[56:49] I thought maybe he mementoed it.

[56:51] The – I was – when I first saw her dinging her glass to make a speech, I was like, uh-oh.

[56:57] I know it happens when someone in my family gets up to make an unannounced speech.

[57:00] This is going to be bad.

[57:02] It is time for the grievances to be aired.

[57:05] But no, it was a nice speech, all about love.

[57:08] The next afternoon, Jane Fonda is depressed.

[57:10] She couldn't even get up and get dressed, and the other book clubbers, I guess, they couldn't get her on her phone, so their book club sense was tingling, and they knew that their friend was in trouble.

[57:18] They just show up, and she's like, oh, I said no to Arthur, and now I feel terrible.

[57:22] And they're like, you have to go after him.

[57:24] Run to the airport.

[57:25] Flight is leaving in an hour.

[57:26] Go get him.

[57:27] It's like she's never going to make it to the airport in an hour.

[57:29] That's crazy.

[57:30] He's already passed the security gate.

[57:32] And the, like, rush to the airport thing doesn't have the same weight it kind of used to because, like, you can, like, text him on the fucking phone now.

[57:41] That's true.

[57:42] While he's, like, on the plane, you can FaceTime with his ass.

[57:45] And you can only make it as far as security.

[57:48] I will say that this didn't have the tense stakes that the run to the airport scene in Little Italy had, which is saying quite a lot.

[57:56] She, like, owns a hotel.

[57:59] She can just fly to fucking New York and see him there.

[58:02] There are a couple things I want to say about this scene.

[58:06] Number one, I feel like it illuminates one of the big problems with the movie, which is, like, it comes to life more when they're all together, and they're together very rarely.

[58:15] And this is one of the few times they're together not just for book club.

[58:18] They're, like, doing a thing, which is supporting Jane Fonda.

[58:22] Number two, I like this.

[58:24] They're, like, help her get dressed.

[58:25] Dress her up in something sexy.

[58:26] Everything she owns is sexy.

[58:27] And then they put her in kind of, like, the kind of standard blue dress that I would imagine a waitress in the 70s wearing in, like, Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore or something like that.

[58:37] I'm, like, this is not the most provocative thing that you could throw on her.

[58:40] Again, I want this to be about the erotic awakening of these four women.

[58:43] It's disappointing to me that it's not.

[58:44] Dan, your side.

[58:45] I also think that, like, so throughout the movie, I feel like Jane Fonda's storyline gets sort of shortchanged the most.

[58:52] I kind of, like –

[58:53] Yes.

[58:54] And I'm also sort of throughout the movie baffled by, okay, like, what is her deal?

[58:58] Like, she keeps – everyone keeps talking about how she's, like, afraid of commitment.

[59:04] But there's, like, it's just sort of spoken about.

[59:07] And this is the first time I sort of get what's going on.

[59:10] Like, she is pushing Don Johnson away because she is afraid – she is too afraid of losing him again to even give it a chance, particularly as an older woman who is scared that, like, he will lose interest and just run off with someone younger.

[59:26] And Jane Fonda is, you know, a great actor, and she, like, really sells this.

[59:32] And I have to admit, guys, like, I started crying at this point.

[59:35] And I think it's because, like, one thing that connects with me, I don't know why, is someone later in life sort of making an emotional breakthrough.

[59:45] And she is opening herself up to something scary.

[59:50] And I was, like – I was genuinely crying watching this.

[59:53] Is that kind of what you're doing right now by revealing this emotional honesty to us?

[59:58] Well, I'm tearing up a little bit.

[1:00:00] Another part that also made me cry. I think it was primed to cry because I was already crying from this scene

[1:00:05] But I'll tell you when we get to it

[1:00:07] Okay. Wow, Dan. I didn't had no idea it had such an emotional impact on you, and I'm really happy that

[1:00:12] That you managed to get around to watching the movie this morning

[1:00:23] So the

[1:00:25] So I want to hear about the other thing that's gonna make you cry anyway

[1:00:28] She

[1:00:29] She goes after him and she rushes to catch Arthur at the airport, but she fails to catch him there

[1:00:34] Meanwhile, that's it's the talent show at the charity dinner and Mary Steenburgen is like I'm just gonna dance without my husband

[1:00:40] I'm gonna do my old little kid tap dance routine to Red Red Robin, but the wrong song starts playing

[1:00:44] It's meatloafs, which meatloaf song is it is it I will do anything for love

[1:00:48] I would do anything for love and the guy backstage when she's like this is the most comical like

[1:00:52] I don't know how to work this CD player

[1:00:56] Everyone's like she's dancing to meatloaf and she's making it work

[1:01:00] And it's like as if this is crazy as if what she's doing is an insane and yet somehow she's she's made you do it

[1:01:06] And then who shows up Craig T Nelson

[1:01:09] And I'm not sure if it was like that

[1:01:11] He put the wrong song on on purpose for this or he just managed to show up

[1:01:14] I think he runs does he ride his motorcycle into the room?

[1:01:17] That way because he runs in with his motorcycle helmet on and I was like cuz it could have been a it could have been

[1:01:23] It's like improv shorthand for yes

[1:01:25] It could have been a tip of the hat to the scene in Rocky Horror where meatloaf rides his motorcycle into the room

[1:01:31] But they didn't do that I guess and this was the other time I cried not because like it wasn't like I mean like this

[1:01:36] Utterly predictable that he would show up for her big moment

[1:01:38] But they had done the work again like I feel like this is the most emotionally grounded one that I've ever done

[1:01:43] Yeah, I mean, but this is the kind of story that would usually take up about

[1:01:47] 9 to 10 minutes of a 22 minute sit. Yeah, sure

[1:01:50] Yeah, I get it. It was it was pretty emotional for me because you know

[1:01:54] That was a great song playing. It just made me think about how meatloaf is a climate change denier and

[1:02:00] Appreciate his enjoy his music anymore. Yeah. Well, I mean you also have to ignore Craig T Nelson's political views

[1:02:06] Yeah, I mean, you know, it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's

[1:02:11] It's

[1:02:15] Yeah, I remember we used to play that clip on the Daily Show a lot when he was on Fox and he said I was on

[1:02:20] Welfare, I was on food stamps. Nobody had offered me a handout. It was like hold on a second

[1:02:25] like but uh the

[1:02:28] Uh, and and they are so turned on that. They rush home to have sex on his motorcycle

[1:02:33] I mean, they're rushing home on his motorcycle. I don't know where they had sex

[1:02:35] Maybe it was just on the motorcycle on the motorcycle because for Craig T Nelson

[1:02:39] That would be a threesome at that point. He loves that motorcycle

[1:02:42] I guess so. Do you think she got irritated? We don't see the scene

[1:02:45] But do you think maybe she got irritated that he was lavishing so much attention on the motorcycle and not at her?

[1:02:51] What do you mean? We didn't see that scene. That was the whole fucking we didn't

[1:02:55] No, we didn't see

[1:02:58] What did you see did you see the unrated cut of book club that I wasn't aware of

[1:03:04] yeah, I

[1:03:05] Felt I fell asleep watching this and uh crash came on the tv afterwards and like I just merged them in my mind

[1:03:12] Oh fair fair. What what and what channel is this that was playing both of these movies?

[1:03:16] Yeah, dan dan was reading a dissonance. Jim

[1:03:20] Dan was reading a penthouse magazine and fell asleep on a soriyama painting

[1:03:25] Yeah, dan was watching the cognitive dissonance channel or cdc dan that's not the cdc you're supposed to be getting your virus information from

[1:03:35] Um, jane fonda she goes back to her hotel. Hey, guess who's there waiting for her? It's arthur

[1:03:39] He didn't get on the plane. He needed her they kiss. Uh, and dan keaton

[1:03:44] She's with her daughters eating pizza in arizona

[1:03:46] And this is what I was like

[1:03:47] It's just the three of them eating pizza at a table and I couldn't help but think like where's the rest of their families?

[1:03:52] Like their the grandma just showed up. Why are their kids and their husbands not there for dinner?

[1:03:57] It was very strange to me. The husbands are like i'm assuming out in the yard drinking from a bowl and eating slop

[1:04:05] Is that your is that what married life is like for you

[1:04:07] What I like about this scene is when one of the daughters goes

[1:04:11] Does anyone want a piece of pizza and my wife audibly groaned at the term piece of pizza?

[1:04:17] And then alicia silverstone lifted up the slice of pizza in her hand and goes I already got one

[1:04:27] Uh, that's like that's a little story in miniature, you know, there's a setup and a resolution

[1:04:32] Act one

[1:04:33] There's pizza act two the the question goes out. Is there pizza act three? I don't need pizza. Thank you

[1:04:39] But that's the thing that is that is that her daughter's proving that they don't need

[1:04:44] Uh, they don't need their mom in their life anymore because they can provide their own pieces of pizza

[1:04:49] I mean that wasn't that wasn't really the I think the lesson was more that she doesn't need them to take care of her

[1:04:54] But she doesn't need to provide pieces of pizza for their hungry mouths

[1:05:00] Now how is this map on shoot them up like a bird

[1:05:03] Now, how is this map onto a dan harman story circle? Okay, they're in a zone of comfort. They have their mother with them

[1:05:10] Then there's a problem pizza

[1:05:12] Uh, eventually they they meet the goddess who I assume in this case is diane keaton and by the end

[1:05:17] They are back where they started that zone of comfort, but they've learned a lesson

[1:05:20] Which is that diane keaton needs to go live her own life

[1:05:22] She first I don't remember what it is that causes the her to finally snap. Maybe it's the maybe it's the same piece of shit

[1:05:29] Them saying piece of pizza, but she goes. Hey, stop taking care of me

[1:05:33] I have my own life to live and i'm not done living yet and she drives

[1:05:37] She shouldn't have driven all the way down herself. Oh, you're gonna kill someone

[1:05:41] Yeah, because because she's such a because she's such an old person driver and she drives her u-haul over to the pilot's house

[1:05:47] And he's like, what's this and she goes my overnight bag and it's like jk i'm moving in. I live here now. I'm a squatter

[1:05:53] This is just like this is just like the servant. I now live here. This is my house. I take I control it and uh

[1:05:59] candace bergen

[1:06:00] Guess what?

[1:06:01] She reactivates her online dating account and reconnects with george richard

[1:06:05] Like she swipes on him and they match i'm like wait they matched before what the fuck is going on

[1:06:12] We thought he might he might have changed enough since that date that they that they don't match anymore

[1:06:17] Well, no, they would I mean, I guess I mean you have to assume also that she has uh, like, uh run out over time

[1:06:23] But I don't think it's been a long enough time in the world of book club for that to have happened

[1:06:27] I mean at this point also you could assume that she could just call him. They probably exchanged

[1:06:31] Yeah, uh, but guys

[1:06:33] Uh, the next thing is uh exchange more than that. You know what I mean?

[1:06:38] No, I don't explain it. Can you can you explain that in clearer terms?

[1:06:43] Okay, so imagine life is like a piece of pizza

[1:06:48] Yeah

[1:06:50] And life begins when one piece of pizza and a pepperoni

[1:06:55] Are you following me? Okay, kind of I mean my mom always said life is like a box of chocolate

[1:06:59] So this is very confusing to me. So wait, you're talking about a piece a piece of pepperoni is what you're talking about, right?

[1:07:03] A piece of pepperoni a single piece

[1:07:06] a pizza pepperoni

[1:07:07] A single piece of pepperoni and a single piece of pizza. Yeah

[1:07:12] Uh, what's the next step of this podcast? Okay, then a piece of sauce is probably involved, right?

[1:07:17] No, the credits is the next step

[1:07:19] Then there's then and then during the credits where there's there's this little scene where we see the ladies recreating their old fake photo

[1:07:25] uh of how they were posed in a bar together and

[1:07:29] That's it. They're they're in the book club still I guess I thought for sure

[1:07:32] There are gonna be some bloops, but there are no bloops. There were no bloops

[1:07:35] You know why because they're such flawless professionals that they got every line right on the first take

[1:07:40] And so there you have it four ladies. They read 50 shades of gray

[1:07:43] They realize what's wrong with their lives and they take minimal steps to do the obvious

[1:07:48] to

[1:07:49] Achieve success and satisfaction book club, won't you?

[1:07:52] Yeah, uh, yeah. Okay. Well, it seemed like they had it all and now they do

[1:08:00] The end

[1:08:01] That's the slogan on the post list. They thought they had it all dot dot dot and now they do

[1:08:06] But yeah, I mean, do you think the tagline of this movie should have been?

[1:08:10] like

[1:08:11] Join the book club or well, the tagline was the next chapter is always the best

[1:08:17] Oh, so it's the next chapter in their lives. Oh, that's cool

[1:08:21] I mean, that's categorically untrue. Like it's not always the next chapter. That is the best but sure

[1:08:27] Well, I mean, that's optimism

[1:08:29] Dan with a nihilistic view of reading. Hey, stop that book right now

[1:08:32] This chapter is probably the best the next chapter probably sucks. Look it could the next chapter could be the best but let's not

[1:08:39] Make any assurances. Let's not write any checks our butt can't cash here. Dan. Why is your butt cashing your checks?

[1:08:46] Dan when I said I said you needed to get someone to have power of attorney not power of butterney. I think you misunderstood

[1:08:53] Doesn't even sound alike. Anyway, let's go on to final judgments. This is a good bad movie

[1:08:59] a bad bad movie a movie you kind of liked, uh

[1:09:02] Uh, I gotta admit I kind of liked this movie like it is not I mean it made you cry twice dan

[1:09:08] I think you liked this movie the movie

[1:09:11] Here's my take on the movie

[1:09:14] this movie works

[1:09:16] In spite of the script and direction what this the that poll quote on the posters now this movie works dan mccoy the flypass

[1:09:23] Like it works entirely on the fact that this is these are old pros

[1:09:28] They're great. Like you love seeing them interact. You love seeing them in a movie and it just proves that like there should be more movies

[1:09:36] uh

[1:09:37] Featuring there should be more movies

[1:09:40] It proves that there should be more movies

[1:09:42] featuring older characters

[1:09:45] featuring older actors

[1:09:47] specifically older women because like if this movie

[1:09:51] can

[1:09:52] squeak by

[1:09:53] and

[1:09:54] work on me

[1:09:55] Uh in with bad material imagine this thing cast with good material

[1:10:00] Hill. Yeah, that's my take. Imagine if it was the best exotic

[1:10:06] marigold hotel, you know, yeah, set of the mediocre exotic

[1:10:10] marigold hotel.

[1:10:12] Dan, I'm gonna I'm not gonna go so far as to say it's a movie I

[1:10:15] kind of liked because I didn't like it. But I will call it a

[1:10:17] good bad movie in that yeah, throughout the movie. I just

[1:10:20] kept being like, all right movie like, like I couldn't the

[1:10:23] movie was so like, exactly what I thought it would be in a way

[1:10:28] that I found comforting, I guess. But it also just every

[1:10:32] time I was watching, I was like, there's a whole world of cinema

[1:10:34] out there. And I'll call it cinema that I don't see normally

[1:10:37] and that most of America sees. And like, it's good for me to

[1:10:40] recognize that. But also like, this is a pretty dumb movie. I

[1:10:44] could see watching it just groaning with people. It's not

[1:10:46] the kind of movie where you're gonna like be making snide

[1:10:47] comments, but you're gonna groan at it.

[1:10:49] Can you say that in a more coastal elite way?

[1:10:52] I can't. I'm a coastal elite. I watched it. I watched it in a

[1:10:55] condescending way. I mean, I don't know if I'd say coastally

[1:10:58] because my mom who also lives on the coast, I think would love

[1:11:00] this movie. Yeah, but I guess it's more of a generational

[1:11:02] condescension. I will say this, Dan, just looking at it right

[1:11:05] now, looking at the ages of these women in the movie, Mary

[1:11:08] Seenburgen, you can tell is that is the youngest of them. Jane

[1:11:11] Fonda, I didn't realize according to Wikipedia is 82

[1:11:13] years old. And she looks amazing. In the movie. Yeah.

[1:11:17] Yeah. Jane Fonda is amazing.

[1:11:19] Everyone's talking about JLo at 50. Jane Fonda at 82 is much

[1:11:23] more impressive. And she's like, the never for a moment, do I not

[1:11:26] buy that she is a an incredibly, like, sexually active and

[1:11:30] attractive woman. And I think that's fantastic.

[1:11:32] I've also been like, she's also been like putting up with

[1:11:35] bullshit for so long.

[1:11:37] Yes, I both agree with you, Elliot, and am am glad for her

[1:11:42] and think we probably shouldn't spend much time talking about

[1:11:46] these women's looks.

[1:11:47] Dan, I want to celebrate the beauty of these women. I'm just

[1:11:50] saying that beauty is ageless.

[1:11:52] Okay, Stuart, what do you have to say?

[1:11:55] So I'm gonna say this is, you know, there's stuff going on in

[1:11:59] the world right now. And the idea of watching a movie that has

[1:12:02] like, basically no tension or drama or thrills. That's kind of

[1:12:09] comforting right now.

[1:12:12] It was good to watch a movie where if everything went wrong

[1:12:15] for these characters, they would be fine.

[1:12:17] Yeah, it's not like the the other movie I was watching. I've

[1:12:21] been watching spread out over the last couple days. I saw the

[1:12:25] devil, which is horrible and violent.

[1:12:28] Oh, yeah, that's a that's a great movie.

[1:12:30] Yeah. But it's, you know, so great.

[1:12:32] But it's really good. But it's Yeah, that's, that's a that's a

[1:12:34] that's the let's say polar opposite of the movie we're

[1:12:37] talking about.

[1:12:39] So I yeah, I'll go as far as to say like, it's good. It doesn't

[1:12:45] necessarily fall under the like good bad criteria. But it isn't

[1:12:50] necessarily like I'm not mad at it. So it's kind of in between

[1:12:53] good, bad and movie I'm fine with.

[1:12:59] Okay.

[1:13:00] Movie I'm fine. I'll allow it says Judge Wellington.

[1:13:11] There's nothing quite like sailing in the calm

[1:13:14] international waters on my ship, the SS biopic.

[1:13:18] Avast! It's actually pronounced biopic.

[1:13:23] No, you dingus. It's biopic.

[1:13:25] Who the hell says that? It's biopic.

[1:13:29] Because the words biography and picture.

[1:13:33] All right, that is enough. Ahoy. I'm Dave Holmes. I am the host

[1:13:37] of the rebooted podcast formerly known as international waters,

[1:13:40] designed to resolve petty but persistent arguments like this.

[1:13:44] How? By pitting two teams of opinionated comedians against

[1:13:48] each other with trivia and improv games. Of course, winner

[1:13:51] takes home the right to be right.

[1:13:53] What podcast be this?

[1:13:55] It's called troubled waters, where we disagree to disagree.

[1:14:00] Macho man to the top rope. The flying elbow, the cover. We've

[1:14:08] got a new champion.

[1:14:11] We're here with Macho Man Randy Savage after his big win to become

[1:14:14] the new world champion. What are you going to do now, match?

[1:14:18] I'm going to go listen to the newest episode of the tights and

[1:14:21] fights podcast. Oh, yeah.

[1:14:23] Tell us more about this podcast.

[1:14:24] It's the podcast of power.

[1:14:26] Too sweet to be sour.

[1:14:27] Funky like a monkey.

[1:14:29] Woke discussions, man.

[1:14:30] And jokes about wrestlers fashion choices.

[1:14:33] Myself excluded.

[1:14:36] I can't wait to listen.

[1:14:37] Neither can I.

[1:14:38] You can find it Saturdays on Maximum Fun.

[1:14:41] Oh, yeah.

[1:14:42] Dig it.

[1:14:45] Letters is our next thing.

[1:14:47] Normally we would have some sponsors here.

[1:14:50] Originally, this was going to be in sort of the max fun drive zone.

[1:14:53] So there's nothing scheduled.

[1:14:55] But and I want to but I do want to take this moment.

[1:14:58] I could talk for a while again about how attractive I found all

[1:15:01] the women in the movie.

[1:15:02] Yeah, I mean, that's been kind of working so far, right?

[1:15:07] Let's I do want to take this moment to say, I think it will surprise no one

[1:15:15] to know that the Toronto show has been canceled as has that entire film festival.

[1:15:21] But we hope to be past this pandemic as everyone does soon.

[1:15:26] And we hope to be back out on the road,

[1:15:30] entertaining folk and ourselves.

[1:15:33] The big worry about this this pandemic is not when is the Flophouse going to get

[1:15:38] back on the road, but it is something that we will do when the time is ready.

[1:15:43] Yeah, but let's move on to letters.

[1:15:47] This first one is from Eli, who writes Howdy, Floppers.

[1:15:56] I'm going to skip over this part where he tells us that we're great and go on to

[1:16:02] the question, which is probably doesn't feel that way anymore after listening to

[1:16:05] the episode anyway, because I'm a creep.

[1:16:09] He thinks Dan is rude to people who write in letters and he still likes to.

[1:16:13] Yeah, but Eli writes.

[1:16:15] I mean, that's the usual way it goes.

[1:16:17] Eli writes with the success of the Purge TV show.

[1:16:20] What movie have you watched for the podcast that you would turn into a TV show?

[1:16:24] Hopefully it doesn't take two years for this email to be read.

[1:16:26] R.O.C.K. in the USA.

[1:16:28] Eli, you know, he got his jabs in at the end,

[1:16:31] even though he's nice to us before he got I don't know.

[1:16:34] He was nice to us.

[1:16:34] You described it, but I didn't get to hear it.

[1:16:36] I was about how he deemed it not worthy or some nonsense.

[1:16:40] Yeah, I feel like I've been watching.

[1:16:42] I watched a couple of series that are based on movies.

[1:16:45] I just watched the High Fidelity series on Hulu, which is basically just like a

[1:16:52] slight palette swap, and I don't quite buy some of the choices like I don't really

[1:16:59] buy Zoe Kravitz is this like unlucky in love jerk because, you know,

[1:17:05] she's one of the most beautiful women in the world.

[1:17:08] So that's weird.

[1:17:09] But and then I also watch the Outsider on HBO and in both cases,

[1:17:14] which I guess isn't based on a movie, but it feels like a horror movie just strung

[1:17:20] out into ten episodes, and I feel like in both cases they just took material that

[1:17:24] would normally make one movie and they're like, how can we turn this into

[1:17:28] a ten episode series for good and bad?

[1:17:32] Like, I mean,

[1:17:35] you know, like stretching things out, let you add a little more depth.

[1:17:39] And so what I'm going to the way I'm going to answer this question is

[1:17:43] looking back at our recent movies, I think they should make a TV show out

[1:17:46] of Pottersville turn into a 30 minute long sitcom.

[1:17:51] Thank you.

[1:17:52] And now tell us a little bit about how they would do that.

[1:17:54] Is it a long running?

[1:17:56] Is it like a long running thing about Bigfoot?

[1:17:59] Or is there a new adventure every week?

[1:18:02] I would say it's a 30 minute long sitcom.

[1:18:05] It is the Bigfoot thing stays there.

[1:18:09] That is a consistent running thing in the show.

[1:18:12] There's no arc.

[1:18:14] Each episode can be taken entirely separate from the other episodes.

[1:18:18] You're like you're trapped in this like this endless cycle of Pottersville

[1:18:25] Christmas. So it's always Christmas in every episode.

[1:18:29] Yeah.

[1:18:32] Okay.

[1:18:33] All right.

[1:18:34] And so it's kind of like about a series of 30 minute Hallmark movies.

[1:18:40] Yeah, kind of.

[1:18:41] But there's a little bit of Twin Peaks about it.

[1:18:44] Yeah, there's certainly a little bit of Twin Peaks about it.

[1:18:47] Siri, for some reason, picked up a series of 30 minute Hallmark movies and thought

[1:18:53] that was a thing that I wanted information about.

[1:18:55] I guess it's turned on.

[1:18:57] Yeah, I was going to say, so wait, I just want to about Pottersville.

[1:19:03] So it takes place at the store, I assume,

[1:19:05] like Michael Shannon stores, like the central set.

[1:19:08] Yeah, of course. That's the main set.

[1:19:10] And now is it continuing on from the movies?

[1:19:13] Is he now in a relationship with Judy Greer, or is he still married to Christina

[1:19:16] Hendricks? I mean, it's going to start all the way at the beginning.

[1:19:19] Oh, okay.

[1:19:20] So he's going to begin married.

[1:19:22] In some episodes, he'll be married to Christina Hendricks.

[1:19:24] In other episodes, he's going to be dating Judy Greer.

[1:19:27] And you don't know how he got from point A to point B.

[1:19:31] That's fair. You can't tell if you're like somebody

[1:19:34] just took the episodes and like shuffled them like a deck of cards.

[1:19:38] Now, Stuart, why are you doing this?

[1:19:41] Like there's no path.

[1:19:42] Like there's some places where there's like there's a character with a broken arm

[1:19:46] in one episode, and then in a completely different episode, he breaks his arm.

[1:19:50] But it doesn't track with the marriage and the other plot lines.

[1:19:53] So what is happening?

[1:19:55] So this is a traditional sitcom.

[1:19:56] If I can interject a traditional sitcom, there's an assumption that the.

[1:20:00] episodes take place in some sequence, one after the other.

[1:20:03] Even something like The Simpsons,

[1:20:04] there's either slow development over time

[1:20:06] or it's just, well, this is another day.

[1:20:08] What you're suggesting is a radical new reinvention

[1:20:11] of the sitcom where each episode takes place

[1:20:13] in an alternate reality from a previous episode

[1:20:15] where it's the same characters and situation

[1:20:17] but they're in a slightly different place.

[1:20:19] And because they're existing in a parallel dimension,

[1:20:22] there is no sequencing.

[1:20:23] There's no continuity.

[1:20:25] It's almost like each element in the story,

[1:20:29] whether it's physical, like set decoration items

[1:20:32] or people's lives, those all are on completely

[1:20:35] different trajectories at any given time.

[1:20:37] So you don't know what point in Pottersville you're at.

[1:20:41] So the first 10 minutes of each episode

[1:20:43] is more just getting your bearings

[1:20:45] of like what's going on in Pottersville in this episode.

[1:20:47] First 25 minutes, you're like, what is happening?

[1:20:49] Well, the first 25 of the 30 minute show.

[1:20:51] You're trying not to vomit because your mind is just,

[1:20:54] you're trying to, the pattern recognition

[1:20:56] of it is just so hard.

[1:20:58] So you're saying it's less about like alternate realities,

[1:21:01] more like Pottersville has come unstuck in time,

[1:21:04] but individual elements of it

[1:21:06] may be like differently unstuck in time.

[1:21:09] Exactly.

[1:21:11] Dan gets it perfectly.

[1:21:12] I don't know what your problem is.

[1:21:15] I don't quite understand the creative choice

[1:21:17] you're making.

[1:21:18] No, no, he is, this is a radical reinvention.

[1:21:21] The normal purpose of a sitcom is reassurance.

[1:21:25] It's slight agitation, which is then led

[1:21:28] to a catharsis of return to the norm.

[1:21:30] But what he's suggesting is instead a sitcom

[1:21:32] that aims for the opposite objective

[1:21:34] where it unsettles the viewer and in fact leaves them

[1:21:37] teetering on the brink of madness

[1:21:39] as they try to make sense of how this experience

[1:21:41] squares the past experiences.

[1:21:42] Yeah.

[1:21:43] Yeah, I mean, luckily this pitch worked pretty well

[1:21:47] when I yelled it at Michael Shannon

[1:21:49] when we were crossing each other on the street

[1:21:51] in my neighborhood the other day.

[1:21:53] At least it seemed like a complex idea

[1:21:55] to get across just yelling to Michael Shannon

[1:21:58] as you're crossing past each other.

[1:21:59] I mean, it's like, hey, hey, Pottersville, but crazy.

[1:22:03] And he just nodded and he's like, yep,

[1:22:06] gave me a thumbs up.

[1:22:07] I mean, Pottersville, the movie is already a little crazy.

[1:22:09] So he probably thought you said Pottersville was crazy

[1:22:12] and nodded.

[1:22:14] I don't think that's him greenlighting the series though,

[1:22:16] necessarily, Stuart.

[1:22:18] I think he might just be indulging

[1:22:21] what he assumes is a fan.

[1:22:22] I don't know, it seemed like the behavior

[1:22:24] of an executive producer credit.

[1:22:26] Okay.

[1:22:28] I don't know.

[1:22:29] I mean, the president of HBO Max

[1:22:30] was walking with Michael Shannon at the time

[1:22:32] and also gave you a nod, right?

[1:22:33] Yeah.

[1:22:34] Yeah, yeah.

[1:22:35] HBO Max, is that the HBO that's like,

[1:22:37] like a little bit too hot for comic book stands?

[1:22:40] No.

[1:22:41] It's maximum.

[1:22:42] It's what?

[1:22:43] It's maximum.

[1:22:44] Yeah, yeah, it's the maximum HBO.

[1:22:46] It's, but I think this is a great idea.

[1:22:49] Dan, what were you gonna do?

[1:22:50] What show were you gonna make?

[1:22:52] Well, I won't talk at length

[1:22:53] because nothing can top that.

[1:22:54] I was just like, this is a bit of a cheat

[1:22:56] because this is a movie like that we enjoy.

[1:22:59] Based on a TV show?

[1:23:00] No, this is a movie that we enjoy

[1:23:02] and we did as a special episode,

[1:23:05] but you know, a Tango and Cash TV show.

[1:23:07] I would love to get the original stars back

[1:23:09] as an aging Tango and Cash.

[1:23:12] You know, just adventures every week.

[1:23:13] Not to reveal too much,

[1:23:15] this is something that a former podcast guest,

[1:23:19] Brendan Hay and I have talked about before

[1:23:21] and looked into and the rights to that movie

[1:23:24] are so mixed up.

[1:23:26] That way it was,

[1:23:27] but it was something that we were genuinely thinking about

[1:23:29] developing and pitching was a Tango and Cash TV show.

[1:23:31] Oh, wow.

[1:23:33] And I'll just say, I would make a TV show at a book club.

[1:23:35] They already did it.

[1:23:35] It's called Golden Girls.

[1:23:36] Boom, we're there.

[1:23:38] All right, well, there's one more letter.

[1:23:41] I would also say, I was considering maybe a TV show

[1:23:44] of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets,

[1:23:46] but that would kind of just turn into Babylon 5, right?

[1:23:49] Yeah.

[1:23:51] Yeah, probably.

[1:23:53] So there's one more letter.

[1:23:55] It has no question, but it's a delightful anecdote.

[1:23:58] It's from David, last name withheld.

[1:24:01] And David writes-

[1:24:03] So not my, wait.

[1:24:04] So is it, well, we'll just hear it.

[1:24:06] We'll see.

[1:24:07] It's not the David I'm thinking of.

[1:24:07] It's not your brother.

[1:24:09] It's not my brother, okay.

[1:24:10] Okay.

[1:24:11] Is it David Duchovny?

[1:24:12] It is David Duchovny.

[1:24:13] You guessed it.

[1:24:14] Okay.

[1:24:15] David Duchovny writes,

[1:24:17] while Mr. Payback has come up-

[1:24:18] It's ironic because on Red Shoe Diaries,

[1:24:20] people are writing to David Duchovny,

[1:24:21] but now he's writing to us.

[1:24:25] Yeah, wait right until I'm starting the letter.

[1:24:29] While Mr. Payback has come up several times

[1:24:31] before on your show,

[1:24:32] I didn't realize until the discussion

[1:24:34] on your Veratica episode

[1:24:36] that none of you had actually seen it.

[1:24:38] I've not only seen Mr. Payback in theaters,

[1:24:41] I've seen him-

[1:24:42] I am Mr. Payback.

[1:24:43] I am.

[1:24:45] Please, Mr. Payback is my father.

[1:24:46] Call me John Payback.

[1:24:48] I have not only seen it in theaters,

[1:24:52] I've seen every branch of the interactive movie

[1:24:54] in the theater,

[1:24:55] and I did it by ruining the film for everybody.

[1:24:59] He explains,

[1:25:00] I was working at a place

[1:25:01] where one of the theaters had to be converted

[1:25:04] to an all Mr. Payback cinema.

[1:25:08] The large controller armrests

[1:25:10] and the new for the time digital projector

[1:25:12] meant that the theater could not be used for anything else.

[1:25:15] And we had to keep screening the half hour longer film

[1:25:19] for six weeks,

[1:25:20] even though there was hardly anyone ever in it.

[1:25:25] We had-

[1:25:25] Anyone in the theater,

[1:25:26] not hardly anyone in the movie

[1:25:27] because the movie it's featured Christopher Lloyd,

[1:25:30] Eddie Deeson,

[1:25:31] lots of people were in the movie.

[1:25:32] And of course,

[1:25:33] Billy Warlock as Mr. Payback.

[1:25:35] Yeah.

[1:25:36] We had an employee screening before it opened.

[1:25:39] We all knew it was doomed right from the start,

[1:25:41] but the bad movie fan in me got the idea

[1:25:43] of trying to watch all the paths.

[1:25:45] So for the first week,

[1:25:46] I would slip into the theater

[1:25:48] with the five or so patrons watching it

[1:25:50] and just go along with them.

[1:25:51] Then I made a discovery.

[1:25:53] The voting mechanism did not work properly.

[1:25:56] Rather than letting each seat vote once,

[1:25:59] Mr. Payback counted each time

[1:26:01] the button was pressed as a vote.

[1:26:03] Once I discovered this,

[1:26:04] I began stuffing the ballot box

[1:26:06] in all the Mr. Payback screenings

[1:26:08] so I could see the bits of the movie I hadn't watched yet.

[1:26:11] People would be sitting alone in that theater

[1:26:13] and I'd come in the back

[1:26:14] and voted a dozen times on the part I wanted to see.

[1:26:17] I wonder how many of those people left thinking

[1:26:19] that the Mr. Payback voting

[1:26:20] was as rigged as Mr. Sardonicus.

[1:26:24] 25 years later,

[1:26:25] the only thing I remember about Mr. Payback as a movie

[1:26:28] was that the biggest celebrity

[1:26:30] they could get for it was Frank Gorshin.

[1:26:32] Keep on flopping, David Lastname withheld.

[1:26:35] I mean, Frank Gorshin's a pretty big star, right?

[1:26:37] Uh, for us, maybe.

[1:26:39] I don't know.

[1:26:41] That's a charming tale of cruelty towards others.

[1:26:46] I just really love that the theater

[1:26:49] had to make such an investment in Mr. Payback.

[1:26:52] Like, that was an all-in risk.

[1:26:54] And if it had paid off,

[1:26:55] they'd look like geniuses.

[1:26:57] They would've been paid back.

[1:26:59] It was gonna be the future of cinema, Elliot.

[1:27:02] It was gonna be the future of cinema.

[1:27:04] So, have you guys ever seen an interactive movie

[1:27:06] that you really liked?

[1:27:08] Like, that worked for you?

[1:27:09] Because I feel like every now and then they try it.

[1:27:11] Like, they had that Black Mirror episode.

[1:27:13] And I feel like when I see a movie

[1:27:14] I don't wanna have to make choices.

[1:27:16] I wanna be like in the world the filmmaker's creating

[1:27:18] and I wanna see where they take me.

[1:27:20] But maybe, do you guys feel differently?

[1:27:21] Do you like having a sense of control over the narrative?

[1:27:24] I feel like video games have taken over that space, right?

[1:27:28] And I'm not really much of a game player.

[1:27:31] So, I wouldn't know, but.

[1:27:33] You wouldn't describe yourself as a game boy?

[1:27:36] I would not.

[1:27:39] Okay.

[1:27:40] But Dan, you were so into Gamergate at the time.

[1:27:41] You said that ethics in game journalism

[1:27:43] is really important, right?

[1:27:44] God, why do you slander me every episode?

[1:27:47] Dan, I've been such a creep in this episode.

[1:27:49] I just gotta make someone else the bad guy for once.

[1:27:51] You gotta lean into it, okay.

[1:27:52] Yeah.

[1:27:54] Guys.

[1:27:55] That was a great story.

[1:27:56] Thank you, David, for writing in.

[1:27:57] Let us move along to the last segment

[1:28:00] where we recommend movies that we watched recently

[1:28:05] or not so recently that you should, you know,

[1:28:09] why not check them out?

[1:28:10] Maybe you're, you know, self-isolating

[1:28:13] and you gotta fill the hours.

[1:28:15] Who knows?

[1:28:18] I'll go first.

[1:28:19] So, I will admit that this may be

[1:28:23] a very specific reason I liked this movie.

[1:28:28] Are you gonna recommend Book Club?

[1:28:30] Yeah.

[1:28:31] No, I had taken part of an edible

[1:28:32] to deal with the anxiety of our current world

[1:28:35] and it kicked in right when I-

[1:28:37] Wait, Dan, you mean a piece of an edible?

[1:28:41] I don't get, oh yeah.

[1:28:43] It's a callback.

[1:28:44] Yeah.

[1:28:45] Remember earlier?

[1:28:47] The piece thing?

[1:28:48] Yeah, I remember.

[1:28:49] Dan, give a piece a chance.

[1:28:50] A piece of pizza, that is.

[1:28:52] Okay.

[1:28:54] Don't fucking steal my bit.

[1:28:57] It's stolen, it's mine now.

[1:28:58] I'm the milk pearl of this bit.

[1:29:01] So, the edible kicked in right when I happened

[1:29:04] across the very beginning of Tommy on television

[1:29:07] and I had never watched Tommy

[1:29:09] and oh boy, if you happen to be in that situation

[1:29:13] where you're both mildly stoned

[1:29:16] and just want something that will wash over you

[1:29:18] and you don't have to think about that much,

[1:29:21] Tommy will fit the bill because it is a crazy rock opera

[1:29:24] by The Who about a kid with psychosomatic deaf-dumb

[1:29:30] blindness who becomes a pinball wizard as we all know

[1:29:33] and then becomes kind of a messianic figure.

[1:29:36] Is this the movie with Chris Farley and David Spade?

[1:29:39] Yes, exactly, yes.

[1:29:40] No, that's Tommy Boy.

[1:29:41] Oh.

[1:29:43] This is the one with Oliver Reed who cannot sing

[1:29:46] and Ann-Margret who can and it is directed by Ken Russell,

[1:29:50] the master of crazy excess and bad taste

[1:29:54] and it just explodes all over the screen

[1:29:56] and I will say, I don't know whether the...

[1:30:00] It was just like a weird

[1:30:02] airing on the channel. I was watching the

[1:30:05] Vocals were mixed so low in the explosive who?

[1:30:10] Soundtrack that I you know they might might as well not have been singing so I turned on the closed captions

[1:30:17] that may be something you need to do, but

[1:30:20] It's just a sensory overload, so if you're in the mood for that. It's crazy and

[1:30:26] weird and fun and

[1:30:29] Yeah, Tommy cool

[1:30:32] Tommy boy, yeah

[1:30:35] That's gonna leave a mark anyway

[1:30:38] I'm gonna recommend a movie starring one Elijah wood called come to daddy

[1:30:46] it's a

[1:30:47] movie about a young DJ

[1:30:50] Who know is yeah? It's DJ. Sorry. I thought you're Dan. Why are you real-time fact-correcting storage recommendation?

[1:30:58] Sorry go on

[1:31:01] So he's a young DJ, and he wants to reconnect with his

[1:31:07] Biological father who he has never had a relationship with wait wait wait does not know Dan

[1:31:12] Can you can you verify that for me? Yes? Sorry? I can't verify this yeah, okay? Thank you

[1:31:18] And of course this reunion does not go

[1:31:22] Exactly as he had hoped and it's a weird thriller that starts strange and then spirals into

[1:31:30] Weirder and darker places than you would expect and it turns into a real showcase for a lot of fun character actors

[1:31:37] it's fun and gross and

[1:31:40] Yeah, funny check it out come to daddy

[1:31:43] Yeah, it was kind of like I feel like it has like the vibe. It's a Canadian, New Zealand

[1:31:50] Co-production and

[1:31:53] It's got that crazy, but sorry I shouldn't see you say crazy

[1:31:56] So we got that the guy who did the greasy strangler made it okay? Yeah, it's it's got that weird vibe

[1:32:01] It's like a much

[1:32:05] Stranger

[1:32:07] Goofy version of like a Jeremy Saul you saw me a thriller. I feel like yeah, I can see that

[1:32:13] Uh

[1:32:14] Sorry Elliot. What were you gonna say? Oh nothing?

[1:32:18] I have my recommendation if you guys are ready if you if you're done if you're done providing the Pinocchios for Stewart's for Stewart's recommendation

[1:32:25] God the frustration is coming out right at the end of the

[1:32:30] I'm gonna recommend two movies one of them might be a little on the nose and the other one is more of a comfort food

[1:32:35] movie so a movie that I saw recently that I

[1:32:39] Liked more than I thought I would but which may not be the right one for movie right for people right now is

[1:32:45] A movie called the world the flesh and the devil

[1:32:47] this is a movie from 1959 starring Harry Belafonte and Inger Stevens and Mel Ferrer about a

[1:32:54] It's an end-of-the-world movie where?

[1:32:56] Harry Belafonte for a while thinks he is the last person left on earth

[1:32:59] there is there's been use of some kind of atomic poison that's wiped out most of humanity and

[1:33:05] The strange thing about this movie is we never see any bodies

[1:33:08] They seem to have all disappeared and a lot of this Harry Belafonte

[1:33:11] trying to make his way thinking he's the only person there and then finding a woman alive in New York and

[1:33:17] trying to figure out how to kind of like shake off the

[1:33:22] Like limits he feels from where his place was in the previous society and the thing that I found really interesting this movie that they

[1:33:29] Don't play with as much as they I would have liked is the idea that he doesn't necessarily want to return

[1:33:35] To the way life was before because for a black man in America in the 1950s

[1:33:39] It might be better for him to now be on his own and self-sufficient and in control of his surroundings rather than part of this

[1:33:47] Institutional culture in which he can never have everything he wants and is always going to be kind of a second-class citizen

[1:33:53] So they do a little bit with that in it that I found really fascinating and it eventually turns into kind of like a weird

[1:33:58] Love triangle that is not super successful

[1:34:01] But if you don't want to watch a movie about most of the people in the world dying

[1:34:05] Which I understand is not the thing you might want to watch right now

[1:34:07] I would also recommend one of my favorites the music man

[1:34:10] We recently got a record player and hooked it up in our house

[1:34:13] And we got my wife's parents old record collection and my son has been crazy about the soundtrack to the music man

[1:34:19] And we've been listening to it a lot lately. It just reminds me what a like

[1:34:23] For me feel good movie that movie is I love the songs in it. It's really bright and colorful

[1:34:27] The dancing is great. The performers are really great. And I just really love it

[1:34:31] So if you want something that's just gonna make you feel good

[1:34:33] I'll recommend the music man

[1:34:35] If you want something that is gonna tap into your anxieties then perhaps the world the flesh and the devil

[1:34:40] there's some line line readings that Robert Preston gives and that but I find so funny like

[1:34:45] He he just knows what he's doing

[1:34:48] The only thing I will say about the music man is there's one song in it

[1:34:51] You can probably guess which song it is that I do not like it's ship poopy

[1:34:55] The the song that is basically about like if a girl's not interested in you just keep pressing your case and eventually you'll win her

[1:35:01] Over and I don't like that song. I both don't like it as a song and I think it's gross

[1:35:04] But otherwise, I like the rest of the movie a lot

[1:35:06] Yeah

[1:35:08] Well guys, I think this was fun. It's nice to see well think about it Dan and see

[1:35:14] It's nice to see

[1:35:16] people out in the world

[1:35:18] yeah, I mean, you know, I've been sick for a couple of days and I

[1:35:22] Just thought like if I'm gonna go, you know, I want to be telling dumbass jokes about book club with you guys

[1:35:30] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think

[1:35:33] It's nice that we can still

[1:35:35] Use modern technology to interact with each other and I had a lot of fun talking with you guys about book club

[1:35:40] And I apologize again for my comments about the incredibly attractive stars of book club

[1:35:46] All right, uh, you know do the usual stuff go to maximumfund.org find other podcasts you might like

[1:35:54] Look, they're pretty busy right now. I assume so you don't have to like

[1:35:59] But yeah, normally we'd say like write us a review or tweet about us

[1:36:03] I would say like right now

[1:36:04] Take that energy use it to take care of yourselves to take care of your families and like do what you can to help other

[1:36:09] People if you see someone who needs help

[1:36:12] Help them as best you can don't worry about us

[1:36:14] We'll be okay for a little bit

[1:36:15] But yeah, but also if you get that if people are like, hey, what podcast should I listen to like mention the flop house?

[1:36:20] But otherwise like focus on helping other people and taking care of yourselves and not on pumping us up

[1:36:25] Yeah, and if you're a max fun member, we just put up some new bonus content. So yeah, you can check that out

[1:36:33] Well, I guess that's it

[1:36:36] Another classic flop house ending

[1:36:38] Thank you for being me with me guys, and thank you for being with us listeners until next time. I've been Dan McCoy

[1:36:45] I'm Stuart Wellington, and I'm Elliot Kalin

[1:36:48] Bye

[1:37:05] You

[1:37:18] Maximum fun org comedy and culture artists owned audience supported

Ep. #309 - Book Club

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