FH Mini 134 - Wrap-Up Raps

[0:00] Hey, it's Dan. These pre-rolls can get boring quickly, so I'll be fast.

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[0:30] Hey, everyone. Welcome to another Flophouse Mini. As you know, the Flophouse is mostly devoted to

[0:39] watching bad movies and then talking about them. But every other week, we also do these

[0:43] minis, which are more just whatever we want to do. I'm in charge this week. This is me,

[0:49] Dan McCoy. Others, introduce yourself now. This is me, Stuart Wellington.

[0:55] This is me, Elliot Kaelin. Very articulate. So this mini, well, let me set it up thusly.

[1:05] There's a music. So turning into Jay Leno for a moment, you're like, oh, well, let me go.

[1:13] Muscle cars. There's a there's a there's a genre of music that I think is near and dear to

[1:20] our hearts. I'm talking about. Zydeco. I'm talking about end credit rap songs that either

[1:29] partially or exhaustively summarize the plot of the movie we just saw, usually found in movies

[1:34] of the late 80s and 90s. And in doing the research for this, I learned that this genre actually has

[1:39] a name. It's called a wrap up rap. Oh, that's a great name for it. Yeah. And that leads us to

[1:46] my mini wrap up, wrap, wrap up sponsored by bubble wrap. Once you pop, you can't stop.

[1:53] That's true. So because there's a curse on the bubble wrap and it drag you to hell if you don't

[1:58] pop them all. Yeah. Mm hmm. This is many. That was the third of the Greek guys being

[2:03] punished in Hades or whatever. Right. Yeah. The others just snap and crackle. Anyway,

[2:09] this mini is partly a game and partly just an excuse to talk about a few of these songs.

[2:14] Oh, I've collected a few choice examples and I'm going to read a selection of the lyrics

[2:22] when I'm done and say go. Wait for go. I want you guys to buzz in by saying your name and you will

[2:28] get one point if you can name the movie the wrap up rap is from and one point if you can name the

[2:34] title of the song. And then for each of these, I also have a follow up discussion question.

[2:41] Oh, okay. Essay portion. Yeah. Yeah. One one disclaimer. I would like to acknowledge that

[2:47] a white middle aged man reading a rap reading rap lyrics can inadvertently sound like he's

[2:52] making fun of rap just by virtue of how awkward it sounds. While I am poking fun of the specific

[2:58] genre, which is silly, no other negativity is meant. I just will sound like that. I'll sound

[3:05] cringey because that is what happens. But remember, buzz in with your names. But only after

[3:12] I say go so we can hear a good chunk of these lyrics. Okay. So this is number one. You're not

[3:19] going to do this in like a weird accent. I'm not. Okay. Yeah, it's not Dracula reading raps. If

[3:24] anything, I will try to make it non rhythmic. Yeah. And Midwestern as possible. Here we go.

[3:33] Rough neck. So go check the law and abide. Watch your step or flex and get a hole in your side.

[3:40] Swallow your pride. Don't let your lip react. You don't want to see my hand where my hip be at.

[3:48] Go. Wait, do we buzz in with your name? Buzz Stewart. Okay. This has got to be this got to

[3:55] be the king of this genre. This is Will Smith. And this is what Wild Wild West. That's correct.

[4:01] And the title of the song is? Oh, damn it. Yeah, I don't remember. Buzz in, Elliot. Yeah, Elliot.

[4:10] Is it called Wild Wild West? It is. That's one point for each of you.

[4:15] In many of these, yes, the title of the song is at least slightly different. But in this case,

[4:21] it's the same. Because the chorus is Wild Wild West.

[4:24] Wild Wild West. How's the West? It's very wild wild. How many wilds? There's two wilds there.

[4:29] What kind of buffalo wings do we like? Wild, wild wings.

[4:35] Hey, I got a follow up question for this one. Yeah, why not?

[4:38] All Wild West was directed by Barry Sonnenfeld coming off the Addams Family movies,

[4:43] Get Shorty and Men in Black. And it starred Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Salma Hayek, and Kenneth Branagh.

[4:50] So why is the best thing about this song? It's a good question.

[4:55] It's a good question. Do you want a joke answer or a serious answer?

[5:01] Whatever you got. This is a podcast. We just got to filter.

[5:04] I think this is one of those movies that has a big hole in its center. And the hole in its center

[5:10] is that the it is the story is not interesting and the characters are not interesting. And

[5:16] it's based on a TV show that I think not I think there are a lot of I guess a lot of people of like

[5:21] our parents generation remembered it. But certainly when it came out, I did not know it was

[5:25] based on a show until afterwards. It was really I've never seen an episode like the Fall Guy for

[5:30] me. Yes, exactly. I was like barely based on the show. No, but I think I think it's the idea of

[5:36] having name recognition and then trying to play off of that when the name recognition is not there.

[5:40] But also should have been based on Briscoe County Junior. Yeah, sure. But I think also the idea

[5:45] that like they thought, oh, it's kind of a Western comedy action thing. We don't need any more than

[5:48] that, but there's just not a lot going on in it, you know, so you have all these talented people

[5:52] working on it. They put a lot of effort into it, but there's nothing to hold it all together as

[5:55] opposed to Men in Black, where that's a really well done movie. The Addams Family movies are,

[6:00] of course, great. You know, I think Westerns are kind of hard to do unless you are you really

[6:08] understand what makes a Western work. And then once you start tinkering with it too much,

[6:11] it can it can lose its center. Yeah, I think also it would have been helped probably to have

[6:16] a producer who could oversee and pull these things together as opposed to John Peters,

[6:20] the actual producer who was just wanting so hard to make a movie with a giant mechanical spider in

[6:24] it. And that's what he was mainly focused on. You know, he's got a real mechanical spider kink.

[6:31] The guy, you know, I love Runaway. OK, well, when we did Wild Wild West on the show,

[6:35] I would have loved it if it turned out to be like a super fun movie that just got unfairly maligned.

[6:39] But watching it, you're like, oh, this is not. Yeah, it just doesn't work. The funny stuff is

[6:43] not funny and the characters are annoying. The exciting stuff's not very exciting. I do like a

[6:48] giant spider thing, but yeah. OK, well, let's move on to the second song. Here are the lyrics.

[6:58] I remember the day I needed to borrow a little of pepper for my chicken. The next thing,

[7:04] you know, coming at me was a hand with fingers high stepping. Now I tried to play it along,

[7:10] you know, Elliot and act like I was having a ball. Wait, you got to wait for go. Oh, sorry.

[7:15] But what do I see? A perm with feet standing about three feet tall. Go, Elliot. Adam's family.

[7:22] Yes. And what is the name of the song? Oh, is it Adam's family rap? No.

[7:29] Stu, can you hear this one? I don't like it's. Yeah, I don't remember.

[7:36] It's close, but the song is titled Adam's Groove. Adam's Groove. Oh, that's what it is.

[7:44] Now, I have, of course, the one where they kick and they either stop a friend or slap a friend.

[7:48] Yeah, I have a friend. Yeah. Not really a thing I associate with the family, to be frank. Maybe

[7:55] it's playing off of the thing being a hand. I don't know. Yeah, I don't see them. I see them

[8:00] using violent things like they use swords or cannons or stuff, not so much kicking and slapping.

[8:04] Yeah, it's one of the three stars. Yeah. Yeah. I got a follow up question for this. So this is

[8:09] an example of a wrap up rap that addresses the characters in the movie, but otherwise takes

[8:14] artistic license. It doesn't stick strictly to the film's plot. My question is, they thought

[8:20] he was fester, but he was really Chester. But it turns out he was fester. OK, because that's

[8:26] the part of the wonderful, wonderful rap. Yeah, great stuff. My question is, would 1991's The

[8:32] Addams Family have been improved by including a scene where M.C. Hammer dropped by to borrow

[8:37] some pepper for his chicken? A hundred percent, I think. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah.

[8:44] Some shenanigans would happen. Maybe there was maybe there was an earlier draft of the script

[8:49] that they were working on, like somehow like when they did used to movie novelizations,

[8:52] they would be based on early drafts of the scripts that the book would be ready in time with the

[8:55] movie. And there'd be scenes in there that didn't make it into the movie. Maybe there was a scene

[8:59] originally in the movie where a guy stops by to get pepper for a chicken and it was more about

[9:04] seasoning food, I think. And isn't there like a party scene? Maybe he could have shown up

[9:09] during then looking to borrow some pepper. Yeah. And he'd have been like, well,

[9:14] and then he could he could do a song like Digital Underground when they stopped by.

[9:17] And yeah, I don't remember. Maybe I have to watch that movie again.

[9:23] I probably probably should just keep that on loop.

[9:28] OK, well, that's and it's a good thing that they didn't do a rap for

[9:32] Adam's Family Values because that would just be all about Debbie, who's the best character.

[9:36] Yeah, I mean, Debbie is. I don't see what would be wrong with a rap about Debbie.

[9:40] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't. I would write. I would send thousands of odes to how sexy

[9:46] Debbie is. Dan, if you don't if you're not if you're not into Debbie, then I don't know what's

[9:49] going on with you. Yeah. Yeah, I understand. I just, you know, for once in my life,

[9:54] I'm less vocal with my horniness. OK, so this is number three.

[10:00] Had them throwin' a party for a bunch of children, while all the while the slime was under the

[10:07] building.

[10:08] So they packed up their group, got a grip, came equipped, grabbed their proton packs

[10:13] out the back, and they split.

[10:16] Found out about Vigo, the master of evil, trying to ban my boys.

[10:22] That's not legal.

[10:23] Go.

[10:24] Elliot.

[10:25] Yes.

[10:26] Okay, so that's Ghostbusters 2.

[10:27] Uh-huh.

[10:28] And the name of the song is?

[10:32] Take Control?

[10:33] Is that it?

[10:34] Or no, is that the name of the song?

[10:35] No, Stuart.

[10:36] You got it?

[10:37] I thought it was Take Control.

[10:38] I mean, they do say the words Take Control in it, but it's not the name of the song.

[10:41] What is it?

[10:42] It's another lyric.

[10:43] It is On Our Own.

[10:44] On Our Own.

[10:45] That makes a lot more sense.

[10:46] Bobby Brown, right?

[10:47] It's Bobby Brown.

[10:48] Because the big thing about that movie is how the Ghostbusters are on their own.

[10:50] Mm-hmm.

[10:51] Yeah.

[10:52] I guess, unlike before, when we had the full force of the government.

[10:56] The federal government and the military, I guess.

[10:58] But Bobby Brown is in the movie, right?

[11:01] Yes, he is.

[11:02] He plays like a doorman.

[11:03] Yeah.

[11:04] But he doesn't perform in it.

[11:05] Yeah.

[11:06] This was before he killed Whitney Houston, right?

[11:07] Oh, God.

[11:08] I do have a follow-up question.

[11:09] How much are we going to...

[11:10] How liable are we for that comment that Stuart just made?

[11:11] I mean, he introduced her to crack, guys.

[11:12] Okay.

[11:13] We can litigate it off air.

[11:14] Okay.

[11:15] Follow-up question.

[11:16] As someone who has sung this song at karaoke, I can attest to the fact that the two rap

[11:26] breaks in the song are just the same rap break repeated.

[11:30] If Bobby Brown had written different lyrics for the second rap break, what plot elements

[11:36] would you have liked to see him cover?

[11:38] Statue of Liberty.

[11:39] Yeah, for sure.

[11:40] Shooting goo guns all over the Statue of Liberty.

[11:43] Yeah.

[11:44] Yeah.

[11:45] More focused on...

[11:46] Shoot our goo all up inside her, that's what she did, right?

[11:49] Oh, God.

[11:50] No.

[11:51] Baby walking on the edge of a building.

[11:52] Yeah.

[11:53] Stroller on the loose, cars almost hit it.

[11:57] Yeah.

[11:58] Come on, Viggo.

[11:59] Why can't you just quit it?

[12:00] And then at the end...

[12:01] I love and hate when Elliot raps equally.

[12:07] Then at the end, the painting turns good.

[12:09] Yeah.

[12:10] Yeah.

[12:11] Okay.

[12:12] Wait, does the painting...

[12:13] Oh, because...

[12:14] Because it turns into a painting of...

[12:16] It turns into a happy painting of all of them.

[12:17] Of all of them.

[12:18] Of Sigourney Weaver and Baby Oscar and the Ghostbusters around.

[12:21] But it's like, you know, a renaissance style, you know?

[12:25] Yeah.

[12:26] We should get that for the studio.

[12:27] Just buy that painting.

[12:28] If we could find it, I would love to buy that.

[12:29] If that prop still exists, I would love to own it.

[12:30] That would be crazy if that wasn't available.

[12:34] Like somebody make that.

[12:36] As a poster?

[12:37] I'm sure you can get it as a poster.

[12:38] Yeah.

[12:39] A print.

[12:40] A print or something.

[12:41] A fancy print.

[12:42] Or somebody make that with our heads instead of the Ghostbusters on it.

[12:44] Yes.

[12:45] Do that.

[12:46] Yeah.

[12:47] Do that.

[12:48] Okay.

[12:49] This is number four.

[12:50] After this, we're going to take a little break.

[12:52] This one is a bit harder, so I'm going to read more lyrics in this one.

[12:58] So...

[12:59] Oh, thank God.

[13:01] Once upon a time, he was a super cop, but the bad guy framed him to make him stop.

[13:06] They put him in prison where they tried to kill him, but he broke out.

[13:10] Now he's the villain.

[13:12] Bullets don't hurt him.

[13:14] I know it should, like, jive, but we're not sure if he's dead or alive.

[13:19] Set him on fire.

[13:20] Shoot him with an Uzi, but he'll show up in your jacuzzi.

[13:24] You can run him over.

[13:25] You can feed him poison.

[13:27] Push him out a window, and it only annoys him.

[13:30] You better believe me if you think I'm lying.

[13:33] When he shows up, people start dying.

[13:35] He's out for vengeance, and he can't be stopped.

[13:39] That's why they call him the...

[13:41] Go.

[13:42] Elliot.

[13:44] Yes, Elliot.

[13:45] Maniac Cop?

[13:46] That, uh, is almost correct.

[13:49] I didn't remember there being a rap for Maniac Cop.

[13:51] Maniac Cop 2?

[13:52] Yes.

[13:53] Oh, it's Maniac Cop 2.

[13:54] You're the advantage.

[13:55] You get the advantage of the trick question.

[13:56] Oh, you're right.

[13:57] You're right.

[13:58] Maniac Cop 2.

[13:59] I was like, I didn't remember there being a rap in the Maniac, but Maniac Cop.

[14:02] Yeah, Maniac Cop 2.

[14:03] Maniac Cop 2.

[14:04] Elliot, I'll give you the chance to answer if you know the title of this.

[14:10] I think I'm gonna, I think it's, I think, uh, Maniac, parentheses, Cop.

[14:13] Uh, Stuart, do you want to go?

[14:15] I was just gonna say, in, in modern America, Maniac Cop's a regular rap.

[14:22] Yeah.

[14:23] Uh, this, this is titled, uh, unimaginably titled Maniac Cop Rap.

[14:27] Oh, okay.

[14:28] I should have guessed that.

[14:29] I should have guessed that, yeah.

[14:30] Yeah.

[14:31] Hey, when you got gold, don't mess with it.

[14:32] Uh, yeah.

[14:33] So, uh, yeah, that's from Maniac Cop 2, uh, which leads into my follow-up question.

[14:38] Back in the habit.

[14:39] Yeah.

[14:40] Maniac Cop 2 seems like an odd movie to have a wrap-up rap.

[14:44] What, what film that doesn't end with one, would you want to have its own wrap-up rap?

[14:50] Oh, there's so many.

[14:52] There's so many.

[14:53] Uh, hmm.

[14:54] Wait.

[14:55] No.

[14:56] Um, Manchester Privacy.

[14:57] Oh, God.

[14:58] Yeah.

[14:59] I think all of Kenneth Lonergan's movies should end with, with wrap-up raps.

[15:04] Oh, Margaret.

[15:05] Margaret, you can count on me.

[15:06] All of them.

[15:07] Oh, sounds good.

[15:08] Even his plays.

[15:09] When his, when one of his, when Lobby Heroes performed, he just had a wrap-up rap at the

[15:12] end.

[15:13] Or The Curtain Call.

[15:14] Just, uh, as people are taking their bows.

[15:17] Yeah.

[15:18] Um, okay.

[15:19] Well.

[15:20] I was going to say, on a, on a, on a, uh, on a sincere note, I think that Hackers should

[15:24] have a wrap-up rap at the end.

[15:26] Oh, that would actually, that would suit it very well.

[15:29] Yeah.

[15:30] Uh, especially with all those, uh, hacker names.

[15:32] Those would go in a wrap, uh, real nice.

[15:34] Oh, yeah, of course.

[15:35] Acid Burn or whatever they're called.

[15:36] Yeah.

[15:37] Okay.

[15:38] Well, uh, I just want to take a moment to, uh, say a few words on behalf of our sponsors.

[15:43] Uh, The Flop House, of course, is sponsored largely by, uh, the listeners of Maximum Fun,

[15:49] uh, who have, uh, chosen to support us through membership.

[15:53] But also for this episode, we are sponsored by Aura Frames.

[15:58] And uh, you know, summer's gonna be winding down fairly soon, but if you spit this season

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[17:01] Support the show by mentioning us at checkout, terms and conditions apply.

[17:07] And I would also like to mention that, uh, of course we're, uh, gearing up for FLOP TV

[17:13] season three, starting in September, uh, the first Saturday of every month through February

[17:19] at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 Pacific.

[17:22] We will be doing our, uh, one-hour, uh, sort of TV show version of the FLOP House with

[17:29] extra stuff like, uh, videos, presentations, and more.

[17:34] And this year, the theme is Flopsterpiece Theater.

[17:36] We're going to go back in time, and I didn't pay for that, so I'll stop singing it.

[17:42] We're going to be doing significant flops.

[17:43] Because we always, we always pay for I'm Blue when I, when I sing it, yeah.

[17:47] We're going to do significant flops.

[17:50] It's expensive, but it's worth it.

[17:52] Decade by decade, working back from the 2000s to the 1950s, uh, the adventures of Pluto

[17:58] Nash, Jack Frost, Xanadu, Zardoz, Dr. Doolittle, Plan Nine from Outer Space, uh, I don't know

[18:07] whether I skipped over one or I got them all.

[18:10] Anyway, the point is, hey, why don't you go over to theflophouse.simplefix.com, uh, that's

[18:17] TIX with a T-I-X, and, uh, get your tickets now.

[18:21] Uh, it's one, sorry, it's $7 for one episode, or you can get a full season pass for $35

[18:30] for the whole season.

[18:31] And uh, we didn't mention this before, but as in the past, um, you know, like these shows

[18:35] will stay up through the season, so if you get a season pass late, you can go back, you

[18:39] can watch the, uh, earlier episodes, and you can watch them, you know, we'll have them

[18:44] up a little bit past the window of, like, when we're doing the live shows, the live

[18:48] versions of the show.

[18:49] But if you want to be there live and, uh, be in the chat, chatting with other, uh, viewers,

[18:55] you can do that on those first Saturdays.

[18:58] Uh, but let's get, uh, back to the game, kind of, I guess, is what it is.

[19:06] Yeah, yeah, you've been keeping score, right?

[19:08] Yeah, I have actually been keeping score, even though it is all meaningless.

[19:13] Uh, everything's meaningless, Dan, that's true, everything, we're all going to be worm

[19:17] food.

[19:18] Jackie Cashion, hi, and welcome to the MaximumFun.org podcast, the Jackie and Lauren show, where

[19:29] we talk about stand-up comedy, and how much we love it, and how much it enrages us.

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[19:43] Hello, Internet, I'm your husband host, Travis McElroy.

[19:48] And I'm your wife host, Teresa McElroy.

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[19:52] It's Extraordinary Etiquette.

[19:54] For ordinary occasions, every week, we're going to tell you about a bit of culture,

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[20:17] podcasts. Manners, shmanners, get it?

[20:21] Let's get back to the wrap up, Minnie, and I'm just going past the lyrics that

[20:27] I've already done to get back to.

[20:30] All right.

[20:30] Number five.

[20:31] Yeah, here we go.

[20:34] This song goes as follows.

[20:38] In a hundred years in the darkest night, the forces of evil come out to fight the

[20:44] amulet they must destroy or spend forever in the darkest void.

[20:49] Who can stop their deadly might or who will stand up for the right?

[20:54] The mouth of babes comes dynamite go.

[21:01] Elliot, wow, I'm surprised.

[21:02] OK, I was right, but double dragon.

[21:05] No, Stewart.

[21:07] Yeah, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles three.

[21:09] Oh, my God.

[21:10] I can't believe it, guys.

[21:12] This is, of course, from the movie The Monster Squad.

[21:14] Oh, Monster Squad rap.

[21:18] OK, I forgot there was an amulet in.

[21:21] No, how could you forget that?

[21:23] It's almost a character in and of itself.

[21:25] It's almost as important as the Wolfman's Nards.

[21:28] Well, it's funny that you say that, Stewart, because my follow up question is

[21:31] this. Does the Wolfman have Nards?

[21:34] This song, this song is going to find out to address the issue of whether or not

[21:38] Wolfman has Nards.

[21:40] What rap couplet would you add to the song to correct this issue?

[21:44] Oh, wow.

[21:45] We got Rapster Peace Theater from over in L.A.

[21:47] Caitlin's zone.

[21:48] What are you going to do?

[21:49] I say hit Wolfman in the Nards.

[21:50] It's not too hard.

[21:52] OK, but I mean, he does have Nards.

[21:53] He's a man who gets turned into a Wolfman.

[21:55] Why would why would he not have testicles?

[21:57] I don't know whether it's do like maybe have testicles, too.

[22:01] It's not like he's I mean, I could see him losing the ability to speak because a

[22:05] wolf's throat is not like a kid who says this.

[22:07] We're not here to litigate whether it's a good question.

[22:09] So is the kid who's writing this rap, Dan?

[22:11] No. Yeah.

[22:13] Yeah. You're saying that it's implied that the author of the rap is a grown up and

[22:18] is familiar with the anatomy of a wolfman.

[22:20] Of a human man and a wolfman.

[22:22] Yeah. OK, sure.

[22:24] You don't want to take a crack at the.

[22:26] I guess it's in the cards.

[22:27] Wolfman has Nards.

[22:28] Yeah, there you go.

[22:31] Kick him in the crotch.

[22:32] There isn't a notch.

[22:35] But there is a notch.

[22:36] Wait, I'm still going.

[22:42] You know, they call Shakespeare the bard in ways that I love that you set it up with

[22:49] that fact without having a follow up rhyme.

[22:55] Well, and also, but you know what you know what it rhymes with.

[22:58] You know what Bard rhymes with.

[22:59] Yeah. If it didn't rhyme with Nard, why even bother?

[23:03] Lastly, Stuart's dead.

[23:06] Lastly, I'll submit.

[23:07] This is why we are not freestyle rappers.

[23:10] Where's my what Pulitzer?

[23:12] What do you get for rapping?

[23:13] Yeah, rap Pulitzer.

[23:14] I mean, Kendrick Lamar got a Pulitzer, right?

[23:16] So that's for rap now.

[23:18] The I would also I would also submit don't step to his funk.

[23:22] Kick Wolfman in the junk.

[23:24] You can do that.

[23:26] We got there.

[23:27] Took us a while.

[23:29] The best.

[23:30] OK.

[23:33] All right.

[23:35] Here's number six and a little disclaimer here.

[23:37] In general, I've been trying to avoid lyrics that are total giveaways.

[23:42] But this song.

[23:43] I mean, one of the mentioned proton packs, I think.

[23:45] I know.

[23:47] But he didn't say Ghostbusters in it.

[23:49] Yeah. This song kind of makes it impossible.

[23:52] So in this case, I have replaced a couple of words with just blank.

[23:56] So, OK.

[23:58] It it was just prime time.

[24:00] I know you'll never forget what he did to the girl with the TV set.

[24:04] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[24:05] But you can't stop blank because he's cool as ice.

[24:08] Come right back at you to slash and slice like a jitsu blade or a blender.

[24:13] He'll blitz you blank.

[24:14] Blank is putting on the Ritz.

[24:17] Go, Elliot.

[24:20] Yeah. So is this Nightmare on Elm Street three?

[24:22] Oh, oh, Stuart, you got the number wrong.

[24:25] Got the number four.

[24:26] Yes, this is for.

[24:28] Which one was Dream Master?

[24:30] I thought Dream Warriors is three.

[24:32] You know what? I got it.

[24:33] I thought it was Dream Warriors.

[24:34] OK, let's do the theme song for four.

[24:37] Is that a three is the talking to you?

[24:39] You bust in first, though.

[24:40] So maybe they did both.

[24:41] Maybe they did both.

[24:43] Elliot is the first to buzz in.

[24:45] Can you rescue it with the name of the song?

[24:47] I'm going to call it Freddy Rap.

[24:49] No, Stuart, you have it.

[24:51] Nightmare on my street.

[24:52] Now, of course, of course, guys, this is the fat boys.

[24:55] Are you ready for Freddy?

[24:56] Oh, yeah, I forgot.

[24:58] You know what? I forgot that that song existed.

[25:01] But the minute you mentioned fat boys, I'm like, oh, I remember the song now.

[25:04] Yeah. And I have three was docking.

[25:06] Four was fat boys and five was Stephen Sondheim to the song.

[25:09] Yeah, it was filled with internal rhyme.

[25:12] Yeah, even the book.

[25:14] But the actual performance was

[25:19] come up with a joke.

[25:20] Sondheim would have done the music and maybe like James Latham would have done

[25:23] the book, Lapine, whatever is every pronounce his name.

[25:26] So, yeah, that's the song was Are You Ready for Freddy David Latham,

[25:29] who did the bullets?

[25:30] Jesus. Yeah, no, no.

[25:32] Jonathan Latham, author of Motherless Brooklyn, among other books.

[25:34] Yeah.

[25:36] The song was Are You Ready for Freddy?

[25:38] I have a follow up question.

[25:40] Yeah. Are you ready for Freddy?

[25:43] You know what I think?

[25:45] I think I I think I kind of am like he showed up in my dreams and be like,

[25:49] calm down, dog. Let's just hang out.

[25:51] Let's talk. I have a lot of bad dreams about work.

[25:55] So be a real refreshing thing to have a bad dream about Freddy

[25:59] because it'd be like, oh, he would be your boss in the dream.

[26:02] No, he would be. That's true.

[26:04] He'd be like, papers on my desk.

[26:06] Yeah. But then I call human resources on him and get him fired.

[26:09] Yeah, exactly.

[26:10] Yeah. But like, yeah, the intercom doesn't work.

[26:12] See, I don't remember why I had to.

[26:14] Oh, so this is why I say I sent I sent you guys this picture.

[26:17] I was visiting my wife's parents in Sonoma, California.

[26:20] And the local newspaper, there was a letter from a Fred Krueger

[26:24] about something.

[26:25] And I sent it to you guys.

[26:26] And I was like and I was saying to my kids, oh, I guess Freddy Krueger

[26:29] from the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, he retired.

[26:30] And he moved up here to Northern California.

[26:32] And then my younger one, I made that mistake.

[26:34] My name was like, so what's his deal, Freddy Krueger?

[26:37] And I'm like, oh, he kills teenagers in their dreams.

[26:41] And he's got like a sweater and a hat and a glove with with blades.

[26:44] And he goes, why does he kill teenagers?

[26:46] And he's like, oh, he's mad at their parents.

[26:48] And he goes, well, why doesn't he kill the parents in their dreams?

[26:49] I'm like, oh, it's a good.

[26:50] I didn't want to talk about him being a child molester.

[26:52] So I'm like, yeah, let's not worry about it.

[26:54] Yeah, it's a power thing.

[26:57] Yeah.

[26:59] Well, I'm sure everyone's very curious about the game element of this.

[27:03] Yeah. I want to give them a quick update that Elliot and Stuart

[27:07] are currently tied at three.

[27:08] So it's anyone's game.

[27:12] So let's go into song seven, the penultimate song

[27:17] looking for the last one.

[27:19] No, I'm just kidding.

[27:20] Doesn't mean the second last one looking for human flesh

[27:24] to rip my teeth through other fish in the sea.

[27:27] But barracudas ain't equal to a half human predator created by a needle.

[27:33] Jet black eyes, baby.

[27:35] They stare while you sleep.

[27:37] When your Titanic sinks, I'm the one you're going to meet.

[27:40] Hearing terrified screams, they surround my team.

[27:45] All you see is trails of blood.

[27:47] Even God won't intervene.

[27:50] Go, Stuart.

[27:51] Oh, man.

[27:52] Deep blue sea, baby.

[27:53] Damn it. Yeah.

[27:54] And you know what the song is?

[27:55] Deepest, bluest.

[27:57] Yes, it is correct.

[27:58] Deepest, bluest.

[27:59] Parentheses.

[27:59] My head is a shark's fin.

[28:01] I wish I had laughed at the line about even God won't intervene.

[28:05] It's just so bleak there.

[28:07] It does.

[28:09] I knew it was this whole game.

[28:10] I've been waiting for deep blue sea to come up because I knew it was going to happen.

[28:14] And I missed it.

[28:15] I lost my moment.

[28:16] Well, maybe you can get some no, no actual points, but some, you know, like

[28:22] good feeling points by answering the follow up question, which is.

[28:26] In what ways is LL Cool J's hat like a shark's fin?

[28:30] And be specific.

[28:34] Well, it's on the top of his head.

[28:36] And the shark's fin is I guess it's on their back.

[28:38] It's more on the back, right?

[28:39] Yeah. Is it like is his hat like is he like going through a crowd

[28:44] and like his hat is that's the only thing that's visible?

[28:47] Yeah, it's maybe it's a pretty like it's like a skull cap kind of hat.

[28:51] It doesn't really doesn't peak that much. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

[28:55] Maybe he has a poor perception of what his hat looks like.

[28:59] Yeah. I mean, I'm hearing a lot of reasons why the hat is not like a shark's fin.

[29:03] I mean, if we're not answering the question, maybe he uses it

[29:06] sort of like, you know, as a stabilizer.

[29:08] I mean, maybe maybe he he thinks he looks like a dolphin

[29:11] when he wears a similar hat, the sharks and dolphins of similar fins.

[29:15] It's not like a shark's fin, though. It's like a dolphin's fin.

[29:17] But their fins are very similar. They're both dorsal fins.

[29:19] It's convergent evolution.

[29:20] They're made general body shape.

[29:22] I think it's based on color and maybe texture.

[29:25] But I would have to see the hat in black.

[29:28] I mean, I guess some sharks are pretty dark.

[29:30] But most of them are gray.

[29:32] Does the hat replace its teeth whenever it loses them?

[29:36] Dan, he asked you a question about the hat.

[29:38] Yeah. I don't think a shark's fin replaces the teeth, though.

[29:43] Like a shark replaces his teeth.

[29:44] Sometimes people make soup out of LL Cool J's hat?

[29:48] That must be it. Probably.

[29:49] Is they catch LL Cool J, they remove the hat, throw the rest of him

[29:52] back in the ocean to bleed to death, and then they make soup out of the hat.

[29:56] Yeah. At weddings. Yeah.

[29:58] Before we get to eight, I want to.

[30:00] I apologize to Stuart, uh, Psycho Gore Man of course has a rap like this.

[30:04] I was fucking waiting for this shit.

[30:05] At the end of the, I was gonna put it in at the end as a bonus, but uh, no one on the

[30:09] internet has seen fit to transcribe those lyrics and I was too lazy to do it.

[30:14] So someone get on that.

[30:15] I was gonna say, that is a laziness issue, cause you could have done that, yeah.

[30:17] Yeah.

[30:18] Yeah.

[30:19] So, uh, his name is PG or something like that.

[30:20] PG Woodhouse, yeah.

[30:21] Paul and PG.

[30:22] Yeah, PG, what?

[30:23] Psycho Gore Man Woodhouse.

[30:24] No, I'm saying the name of the song, so uh, look it up, it's a funny video.

[30:28] But it is, but that is what it stood for, right?

[30:31] Psycho Gore Man Woodhouse?

[30:32] Yes.

[30:33] Yeah.

[30:34] Yeah.

[30:35] Um, so.

[30:36] It's not Wodehouse?

[30:37] I've been saying Wodehouse this whole time.

[30:38] No, no, it's Roadhouse, PG Roadhouse.

[30:41] Be nice, that's what they always say.

[30:44] The thing is, Roadhouse is not rated PG.

[30:46] Uh, I'm thinking of like a version of this where, uh, Dalton has a gentleman's gentleman

[30:53] who actually solves the problem of Ben Guzzara for him.

[30:56] And Birdie Wooster is the bouncer, but Jeeves is the one who's always doing the actual fighting.

[31:00] Yeah.

[31:01] Um, so that's a little, uh, that's a hint that the last one is not Psycho Gore Man.

[31:06] Okay, good.

[31:07] So I don't spend the whole time trying to recognize.

[31:09] But is it the rap that's at the end of Jeeves and Wooster?

[31:12] Yeah.

[31:13] His name is Jeeves.

[31:15] Can you believe this guy named Jeeves solves all the problems for his man like these?

[31:20] Mm-hmm.

[31:21] Okay, well, uh, here we go.

[31:24] Last song.

[31:25] It goes like this.

[31:26] Well, excuse me, copper, Mr. Crime Stopper.

[31:31] What is wrong with what we're doing?

[31:33] We just like to dance in our goatskin pants around this ancient ruin.

[31:37] Now, it's not so funny that it costs big money if you ever have to hire a lawyer.

[31:43] It's my duty to inform you and my pleasure to warn you.

[31:46] We'll provide one for you.

[31:49] Go.

[31:51] Big goatskin pants hint in there.

[31:54] Mm-hmm.

[31:55] Mm-hmm.

[31:56] Oh, man.

[31:57] Excuse me, copper, Mr. Crime Stopper.

[32:01] I mean, all I'm thinking of is, uh, is, uh, is, um, what's it?

[32:07] Is, uh, the Wicker Man.

[32:08] But there's no rhyme.

[32:09] There's no rap at the end of the Wicker Man, right?

[32:10] This is like the Dragnet movie or something.

[32:13] You know what?

[32:14] I'll say it.

[32:15] Elliot, the Wicker Man remake.

[32:16] Uh, no, no, it's not that.

[32:17] Stuart, do you want to buzz in?

[32:19] I don't think I'm anywhere close.

[32:22] Yeah, I'll buzz in.

[32:23] Uh, was this?

[32:24] Uh, oh, man.

[32:25] Um, no, I know this one.

[32:27] Terms of Endearment.

[32:28] Guys, you should have gone with your gut there, Stuart.

[32:32] It's Dragnet.

[32:33] It's Dragnet.

[32:34] Oh, okay.

[32:35] Can I buzz in?

[32:36] Elliot, for the title.

[32:37] Yes.

[32:38] City of Crime.

[32:39] It is City of Crime from Dragnet.

[32:40] Uh, my follow-up question.

[32:43] I didn't remember the goatskin pants, but it's been a long time since I saw Dragnet.

[32:47] Yeah.

[32:48] I mean, first of all, Dabney Coleman, the pornographer, uh, runs a cult of some kind

[32:55] or...

[32:56] Right.

[32:57] Or he's associated with it.

[32:58] I don't know whether he actually runs it or, like, he gets kidnapped as part of it.

[33:01] I don't know.

[33:02] I think it's actually maybe the moral majority of people who are behind it.

[33:05] Uh-huh.

[33:06] I don't know.

[33:07] They wear goatskin pants.

[33:08] That's all I remember.

[33:09] Sounds like we all have to watch Dragnet again.

[33:10] No!

[33:11] Yeah.

[33:12] Hear about the adventures of Pepstribeck?

[33:13] Uh, Sgt.

[33:14] Joe Friday.

[33:15] Uh, Sgt.

[33:16] Joe Friday.

[33:17] Uh, follow-up question.

[33:18] Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd's dancing in the City of Crime video was choreographed by Paula

[33:23] Abdul.

[33:24] On a scale of 0 to 10, MC's scat cats, how well do you think they did?

[33:31] Are we handicapping them at all?

[33:33] Because they don't have the natural skills of Paula Abdul.

[33:34] They aren't trained dancers.

[33:35] No.

[33:36] They are performers, you know, and, uh, Dan Aykroyd at least danced a little in, uh, Blues

[33:44] Brothers.

[33:45] Tom Hanks.

[33:46] And, uh, he danced a little bit in Nothing But Trouble when he was sitting in that chair

[33:50] dancing along.

[33:51] And in the Ghostbusters music video, they're kind of like, you know, strutting down the

[33:56] street.

[33:57] Um, I would say, and in the opening credits of the real Ghostbusters animated show, they're

[34:03] dancing down the street before Slimer slimes the ground underneath them and they fall.

[34:07] That definitely applies to the real life Dan Aykroyd's dancing abilities.

[34:10] So I would say I'm going to give him a 10 out of 10.

[34:14] I was going to give them an eight, which was solid, but, but limited, but 10.

[34:18] Okay, great.

[34:19] Yeah.

[34:20] Let's go with that.

[34:21] Interesting.

[34:22] I can't believe I, I guessed Dragnet and then doubted myself because I've never seen the

[34:27] movie.

[34:28] You've never seen it?

[34:29] No.

[34:30] Dan, don't act like, don't act like it's crazy that he's never seen Dragnet.

[34:32] I mean, it's kind of crazy just because of like our age.

[34:36] Like that movie was on TV a lot.

[34:38] That's true.

[34:39] Uh, yeah.

[34:40] I was like reading books and stuff.

[34:43] Going on dates?

[34:44] I was reading books about Dragnet.

[34:45] Yeah.

[34:46] Um.

[34:47] It was a, it was, it was often played on a WPIX New York's movie station.

[34:50] Do you know what I'll say about that movie?

[34:52] Go on.

[34:53] It's fine.

[34:54] Oh, wow.

[34:55] You'll get a little bit of enjoyment out of Dragnet.

[34:58] Dan Aykroyd does a funny Joe Friday fast talking guy.

[35:02] Yeah.

[35:03] Tom Hanks is Tom Hanks.

[35:04] He's lovable.

[35:05] I mean, it plays into their strengths.

[35:06] It's silly.

[35:07] Um, it is, I think they made the right choice by doing a comedy of it and not doing a straight

[35:13] forward gritty Dragnet.

[35:14] Although they did do a gritty Dragnet show years later with Ed O'Neill, right?

[35:18] Uh, I don't know, but I will say this, Stuart, even though you've beaten yourself up for

[35:24] your cultural oversight, you still have five points to Elliott's four points making you

[35:31] the wrap up rap champion for 2025.

[35:33] Elliott, can you give me a little, little wrap up rap for my victory in this game?

[35:38] Oh, please don't.

[35:40] Let's see.

[35:41] Uh, Stu is the winner.

[35:43] My name is Stu and I'm here to say I win these games every day.

[35:47] Okay.

[35:48] Stu is the winner.

[35:49] Elliott is the winner.

[35:50] Elliott is the winner.

[35:51] Good Adronisaurus in a chicken dinner.

[35:52] Yeah.

[35:53] Yeah.

[35:54] Stu, I'll give you Stu.

[35:55] So your name is Stu and you're here to say you won the game in a major way.

[35:59] Yeah.

[36:00] Yep.

[36:01] Uh, and then Elliott stinks every way.

[36:04] Oh.

[36:05] There's a long kazoo break.

[36:09] Um, okay.

[36:10] And Dan has his spoken word part.

[36:13] You know, baby, you know, Stuart's the winner.

[36:16] Elliott didn't get as many points.

[36:17] That's the way it goes sometimes.

[36:18] But forget both of them.

[36:19] Come here with me.

[36:20] Wow.

[36:21] A heel turn from my height man over here.

[36:22] I'm just, you know, playing into the sensual sounds.

[36:23] Yeah, I love it.

[36:24] Um, anyway, um, well, thank you for taking part in that nonsense and thank, uh, uh, uh,

[36:38] and thank, uh, you, the listener for taking part in that nonsense by listening to it.

[36:42] Uh, and, uh, if you want to listen to more nonsense, go over to maximum fun.org.

[36:47] Listen to some of the other nonsense shows on our nonsense network.

[36:50] You're going to put all those raps on a special Spotify playlist that's available.

[36:54] You should.

[36:55] Yeah.

[36:56] Maybe we'll see if I remember or have put the link in the guy who was too lazy to transcribe

[37:01] the rap.

[37:02] Uh, although I did spend, you know, multiple hours, uh, writing these things.

[37:08] So for the, anyway, um, I, I don't need to justify myself to you guys.

[37:13] Do we pay you on an hourly basis?

[37:16] Like what's going on?

[37:17] You're just establishing your time card here.

[37:19] I just, you know, have a lot of internalized shame.

[37:22] Okay.

[37:23] Uh, thank you to Alex Smith, our producer, he goes by the name Howell Dottie all over

[37:27] the internet.

[37:28] Uh, you can find them on Twitch.

[37:29] You can find his music, uh, various places, uh, check him out.

[37:34] But, uh, thank you for being here for this episode of The Flop House.

[37:39] I've been Dan McCoy.

[37:41] These have been my co-hosts, Stuart Wellington and Elliot Kalin, uh, till next time.

[37:48] The up twins we call them.

[37:49] So until next time, uh, uh, see you later.

FH Mini 134 - Wrap-Up Raps

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