Ep. #313 - Dolittle

Stuart Wellington

[0:00] On this episode we discuss Doolittle.

[0:03] Why do they call him Doolittle? I think he does a lot in this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[0:07] Stu, that's exactly what I was gonna say.

Dan McCoy

[0:10] And it was what Audrey predicted was gonna be the gag.

Elliott Kalan

[0:14] That is the exact thing I have written in my notes to say, Stu, for this part.

[0:20] Oh, two peas in a pod.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Dan McCoy

[0:51] Oh, hey there. I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:53] Top of the morning, or whenever you're listening to this. Midnight? I don't know.

[0:57] I'm Elliot Kalin. And Dan, who's joining us?

[1:00] Or Stuart? Or Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:03] I thought we decided on Stuart, but I can say it.

[1:05] It's David Sims of the Blank Check Podcast, and he is the film reviewer for The Atlantic.

[1:14] And that is a big, high-toned magazine.

[1:18] That is a respected publication.

[1:21] That's a two-monocled magazine.

[1:24] That's just called Glasses, Stu.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26] Oh, what?

S4

[1:27] Hi, guys. Thank you for having me.

[1:30] Yes, I did poop all over Doolittle in the hallowed pages of The Atlantic,

[1:35] which was founded by Ralph Waldo Emerson and people like that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39] I mean, it took such a brave stand against slavery before and during the Civil War,

[1:45] and now you've continued that tradition by taking a brave stand against Doolittle.

Stuart Wellington

[1:49] Exactly.

[1:50] I mean, I think it's kind of the Pixies' best album, right?

Dan McCoy

[1:54] Yeah, that was another of the jokes that I was going to make, so we've all round-robined on each other's jokes.

Stuart Wellington

[2:03] It's not my favorite, but it's probably their most accomplished.

Dan McCoy

[2:06] You're a Surfer Rosa man, I assume?

Stuart Wellington

[2:08] No, I was, what, because of the nudity on the cover, Dan?

[2:12] Sure.

[2:12] The answer was when I was a kid, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[2:16] Now, I don't know the band, the Pixies, particularly well,

[2:19] so I'm just going to assume they have an album called Out the Door Through the Window,

[2:22] out of the line in It's a Wonderful Life, where he says,

[2:24] Out you two Pixies go, out the door through the window,

[2:27] and I'm going to say, that's my favorite album.

[2:29] Do they have that?

[2:30] Is that a real thing?

Stuart Wellington

[2:31] I'm going to go check Metal Archives and see if it's listed.

[2:35] I mean, the Pixies are on Metal Archives?

[2:39] Actually, no results found, so no, I guess not.

S4

[2:42] 80s alt-rock not heavily influenced by Frank Capra, I guess.

[2:46] That's disappointing.

Elliott Kalan

[2:47] That's very disappointing.

[2:49] I mean, but you know that punk was because John Doe, major punk figure,

[2:54] named himself, I assume, after the Capra movie, meet John Doe.

[2:58] Oh, okay, cool.

[3:00] And I have to assume if I ever meet him, I'll be like,

[3:02] meet John Doe, like the movie, and he'll laugh and laugh.

Stuart Wellington

[3:07] Yeah, so normally if you're just tuning in,

[3:08] you're thinking this is an alternative music podcast.

[3:11] But no, in fact, we're...

[3:13] With four experts.

[3:16] Well, no, in fact, we're a movie podcast,

[3:18] and we watched a movie, and now we're about to talk about it.

[3:21] And what movie did we watch?

Elliott Kalan

[3:22] What kind of movies do we usually watch, Stu?

Stuart Wellington

[3:24] You know, we kind of run the gamut sometimes.

[3:27] They're comedies.

[3:28] Almost always they're moving images with sound attached.

Elliott Kalan

[3:32] Very fair.

[3:33] Very rarely do we watch a silent painting and then review it.

Dan McCoy

[3:37] Or a silent movie.

[3:38] We've never watched a silent movie.

[3:39] Or Mel Brooks' silent movie.

[3:41] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[3:42] Or The Artist, the best picture winner I consistently forget existed.

[3:47] Which is a mostly silent movie.

Dan McCoy

[3:49] Now, guys, was that a French movie?

[3:52] Because I feel like when Parasite came out,

[3:54] they're like, first foreign film to win the Oscar.

S4

[3:57] This is a good point.

[3:58] I believe The Artist is technically a French movie.

[4:01] Although, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[4:01] I think that it has American actors in it.

[4:04] It does.

[4:05] Like, John Goodman is in it.

[4:05] But I think what they were saying a lot of was Chris Farne.

[4:08] John Goodman's in Parasite?

[4:08] Yes.

[4:09] John Goodman plays...

[4:10] He plays the...

[4:12] You know the guy who's in The Host and Parasite and Snowpiercer?

[4:16] That's John Goodman.

[4:17] Oh, wow.

[4:18] What way?

[4:19] Yeah.

[4:19] He's in the makeup chair for hours and hours.

[4:21] It's highly offensive.

[4:23] No, I think that what they were saying a lot was first foreign language film to win the Oscar.

Dan McCoy

[4:27] It seems like a weird hair splitting to me, honestly.

Elliott Kalan

[4:31] I mean, to be honest, they probably forgot that The Artist existed.

Dan McCoy

[4:35] Yeah, that's probably...

Elliott Kalan

[4:36] As I consistently do every time I look up past Best Picture winners,

[4:39] and I'm like, oh, yeah, The Artist.

[4:40] Oh, yeah.

[4:41] Yeah, and they used a soundtrack from Vertigo in it.

[4:43] Kim Novak got all mad.

[4:44] Yeah, yeah, sure, The Artist.

[4:46] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[4:47] Yeah, I just...

[4:49] spit coffee all over my office wall,

[4:51] imagining John Goodman being transformed magically into Kang Ho Song.

Elliott Kalan

[4:56] I mean, it would take magic.

[4:59] It would take a spell of some kind or a cloak of disguise.

[5:03] So what movies...

[5:04] Yeah?

Dan McCoy

[5:05] No, I just...

[5:06] To finish the thing that you teed up for Stuart,

[5:10] but he deliberately went...

[5:12] He zagged on you.

[5:14] We normally watch bad movies,

[5:17] and then we talk about them.

[5:19] And this week we watched Doolittle.

Elliott Kalan

[5:22] Now, guys, Doolittle, of course,

[5:25] as you all know,

[5:26] is a new adaptation of the classic story of Dr. Doolittle,

[5:30] the man who could talk to animals.

[5:32] And I just want to say, forewarning,

[5:34] this is going to be a slightly awkward episode for me,

[5:36] because I know someone who was involved in the making of Doolittle.

[5:39] I know actually two...

[5:41] One person, one of the screenwriters,

[5:43] and one animal.

[5:45] And I brought the animal with me,

[5:46] just to, like, make sure it's okay with everybody.

[5:48] So if you look on your screen,

[5:50] you'll see there's a tiny raccoon right there.

[5:52] Oh, wow.

Dan McCoy

[5:54] Hold on, let me take a picture of this raccoon.

[5:55] Oh, wow.

[5:55] I didn't know we were getting two guests.

[5:56] Because I didn't know we were going to have a celebrity for the...

[5:59] Mm-hmm.

S5

[5:59] Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

S4

[6:04] Was that Catherine Deneuve played the raccoon?

[6:07] I can't remember.

Elliott Kalan

[6:08] Well, actually...

[6:09] You really brought them all in.

[6:10] Now, this is Rick Raccoon.

[6:15] He used to be Ranger Rick,

[6:17] but he was drummed out of the force, of course.

S5

[6:19] Yeah, I'd rather not talk about it,

[6:21] how I was once a park ranger and then was dismissed

[6:23] for causes that I would call unsubstantiated allegations.

[6:28] That's fair.

Elliott Kalan

[6:29] And now your father was, of course, the famous Rocky Raccoon.

S5

[6:32] Yeah, the Beatles wrote a song about him.

[6:33] It was called Love Me Do.

Elliott Kalan

[6:35] Now, Rick, you were in Doolittle.

[6:39] Yes.

[6:39] But I don't remember seeing a raccoon in the movie.

[6:42] No, they cut all my scenes.

[6:44] Oh, why did they do that?

S5

[6:45] Well, there was a whole subplot about a raccoon

[6:48] that wanted to be a famous chef,

[6:50] and they thought it was too close to Ratatouille,

[6:53] and I was like, Ratatouille's about a rat,

[6:55] but I'm a raccoon.

Elliott Kalan

[6:56] And, well, I gotta say,

[6:58] I totally understand the point they made,

[7:01] but what was it like being on the set of Doolittle?

S5

[7:03] Jesus, God.

[7:04] Oh, wow.

[7:04] I mean, the craziest thing was,

[7:06] I was the only real animal in the whole movie.

[7:08] The rest was all computer animated.

[7:09] So it was just me and Bobby Downs,

[7:12] that's what I call Robert Downey Jr.,

[7:13] just looking at a bunch of tennis balls

[7:15] and pretending there was, like, gorillas

[7:17] or ostriches or whatever there.

Elliott Kalan

[7:19] And who's gonna be your celebrity voice

[7:21] when it was finally dubbed?

S5

[7:24] Oh, Catherine Deneuve,

[7:25] just like Mr. Sims said.

Elliott Kalan

[7:27] Oh, okay.

[7:28] Wow.

[7:28] So do you have any funny behind-the-scenes stories about it?

Dan McCoy

[7:31] No, he doesn't have anything funny about it.

[7:34] Nothing is funny about this at all.

S5

[7:37] Two things.

[7:38] Well, Dan, well, Dan,

[7:39] if I could talk, please.

[7:40] Dan, Dan,

[7:41] Dan, if I could speak, please.

[7:43] Dan, you had your time.

[7:45] Now let me have my time.

[7:46] Excuse me.

[7:47] Excuse me.

[7:48] Excuse me, sir.

[7:50] Excuse me.

[7:51] Excuse me.

Elliott Kalan

[7:53] Okay.

[7:53] Now, for the audience at home,

[7:55] I do have a tiny puppet on my finger,

[7:57] a raccoon.

[7:58] That's the thing you're missing out on.

Dan McCoy

[8:00] To mention is,

[8:01] somehow it's more annoying

[8:03] than if he was just doing the voice

[8:05] that he has a puppet on his finger

[8:07] that he is continuing to move around

[8:10] as he talks.

[8:11] You know why, Dan?

[8:12] Because I'm a professional.

S4

[8:14] I'm just reeling from the news

[8:15] that this movie had subplots

[8:17] that were cut out and re-insued.

[8:19] I didn't show up.

[8:21] That was not apparent at all.

[8:23] Oh, no.

S5

[8:24] Wow.

[8:24] It was crazy.

[8:25] Originally,

[8:26] Doolittle didn't even talk to animals.

[8:29] That was something they added.

[8:30] It was about a guy

[8:31] who thinks he can talk to animals,

[8:33] but he can't really.

[8:34] And the animals are like,

[8:35] why does this guy think he understands this?

[8:36] We're not saying that.

Elliott Kalan

[8:37] How long is this going to go on?

[8:40] Hey, Rick,

[8:41] I think it's time for you to head out.

[8:43] I should probably start

[8:44] with a summary of the movie.

S5

[8:45] Okay, well,

[8:46] I've got some other funny stories.

[8:48] There was a time John Goodman stopped by,

[8:49] but we didn't recognize him

[8:50] because he had all this makeup on him,

[8:52] and we thought it was the guy from Parasite.

[8:54] It's the same guy.

[8:55] Really?

[8:55] Yeah, it's the same guy.

[8:56] Oh, wow.

[8:57] Okay, well,

[8:58] I'm just going to get going now.

[8:59] See you guys.

[9:00] He's slowly walking off the screen.

Elliott Kalan

[9:03] I just want to...

[9:04] Still walking.

[9:05] Okay.

[9:06] And he's off.

Dan McCoy

[9:09] I want to provide a little more background

[9:12] just to say that this is...

[9:14] I mean,

[9:14] like the Dr. Doolittle novels

[9:17] are by Hugh Lofting,

[9:20] and they began in...

[9:22] The first one was published in 1920.

[9:24] The final was published in 1952.

[9:27] There are 15 books.

[9:31] Some of the books were posthumous,

[9:33] collecting stories that he left behind.

Elliott Kalan

[9:38] You've got to admire anybody's work ethic

[9:39] when they keep writing after they've died.

[9:42] Yes.

[9:42] It's like him and...

Dan McCoy

[9:43] You're Lofting an Englishman,

[9:47] and it comes out through his stories.

[9:50] They have a certain...

[9:51] I don't know.

[9:52] They've got the same vibe as Mary Poppins,

[9:54] I think,

[9:55] in a certain way,

[9:56] like other English children's stories

[9:58] of the same basic period.

Elliott Kalan

[9:59] But there's a little bit of Babar in it, too,

[10:03] in the sense of

[10:04] it is the purpose of white Europeans

[10:06] to train all animals and people

[10:09] to be like them,

[10:10] which does not age well.

[10:14] In the books,

[10:15] I remember loving those books

[10:16] when I was a kid,

[10:17] but I wasn't really thinking about

[10:19] what rights does a giant talking snail have

[10:21] when Dr. Doolittle shows up to meet him.

S4

[10:24] I believe there's a book

[10:25] where he goes to the moon.

[10:27] Am I right in thinking of that?

[10:28] Probably.

[10:29] Dr. Doolittle in the moon,

[10:31] and I'm reading...

[10:32] I just found this

[10:33] first sentence of the plot summary.

[10:36] Dr. Doolittle has landed on the moon.

[10:38] Chapter one, page one.

Dan McCoy

[10:42] I mean, it gets down to business.

[10:43] You can say that for it.

Elliott Kalan

[10:44] Well, the thing was,

[10:45] they had found a sort of alien monolith

[10:47] on the moon,

[10:49] and they needed Dr. Doolittle

[10:50] to come talk to it,

[10:51] and he's the only one

[10:53] who understood that language.

[10:54] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[10:55] The great communicator.

[10:57] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[10:57] And so,

[10:58] Dr. Doolittle is a movie.

[11:01] So, yeah, this is a...

Stuart Wellington

[11:02] That's a different movie.

[11:03] This is Doolittle.

[11:04] That's true.

[11:04] Dr. Doolittle has Eddie Murphy in it, right?

Elliott Kalan

[11:06] There's two previous Dr. Doolittle movies.

Stuart Wellington

[11:07] Or Rex Harrison,

Elliott Kalan

[11:09] depending on...

[11:09] The Rex Harrison movie

[11:10] from the late 60s,

[11:11] which in the great book,

[11:13] Pictures at a Revolution,

[11:14] and in the great book,

[11:15] The Studio,

[11:15] they talk about,

[11:16] respectively,

[11:17] its Oscar campaign

[11:18] and the making of.

[11:19] I should have named the books

[11:20] in the reverse order.

[11:23] And it was one of these...

[11:23] It was kind of one of the last gasps

[11:24] of this studio system

[11:25] where they were like,

[11:26] we're going to make real big budget,

[11:28] family-friendly musicals,

[11:29] and then we're going to force

[11:30] the Oscars to nominate them.

[11:33] And then there was

[11:34] the Dr. Doolittle

[11:34] with Eddie Murphy

[11:35] where it's pretty much

[11:36] just the name

[11:37] and the fact that he can

[11:37] talk to animals.

[11:38] I think that's the...

[11:38] Because he's not...

[11:39] In the books,

[11:40] he's not really a doctor,

[11:41] is he?

[11:41] I can't remember.

[11:42] Well, he's a veterinarian.

S4

[11:44] Oh, so like...

Elliott Kalan

[11:45] But he's not like

[11:46] a people doctor.

S4

[11:47] Right.

[11:47] Whereas I believe

[11:48] in the Eddie Murphy movie,

[11:50] as in this,

[11:51] he is...

[11:52] He's like a surgeon.

[11:53] He's like a human surgeon

[11:55] who has long repressed

[11:57] his ability

[11:58] to speak to animals.

[11:59] He's ignored it

[12:00] his whole life

[12:01] until now.

Elliott Kalan

[12:02] That's the other thing.

[12:03] In the Doolittle books

[12:04] and in this one,

[12:04] it's a skill you can learn.

[12:06] Anyone who pays

[12:07] close enough attention

[12:07] to animals

[12:08] learn to talk.

[12:08] But in Dr. Doolittle,

[12:09] it's like more of a

[12:10] Drop Dead Fred type ability.

Dan McCoy

[12:12] Now, hold on.

[12:13] I'm going back

[12:14] to the first book

[12:15] just to get

[12:16] a little context.

[12:16] He is a respected physician

[12:18] and a quiet bachelor

[12:20] living with his

[12:21] spinster sister Sarah

[12:23] in the small English

[12:24] village of Puddleby

[12:26] on the Marsh.

Elliott Kalan

[12:27] Okay.

[12:27] See, I thought he was

[12:28] like a doctor of literature

[12:29] or something like that.

S4

[12:31] Or like...

[12:32] It says John Doolittle

[12:33] M.D. here.

[12:34] So I guess...

[12:35] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[12:36] I mean, I'm kind of surprised

[12:37] they didn't name this movie

[12:38] John Doolittle M.D.

[12:39] and make it like

[12:39] a gritty reboot

[12:40] of the Dr. Doolittle story.

[12:42] Yeah, where he's like...

Stuart Wellington

[12:43] M.D. stands for

[12:45] massive ding dong.

Elliott Kalan

[12:47] I mean, that would be

[12:48] kind of gritty, I guess.

Stuart Wellington

[12:50] I mean, if you say anything

[12:51] it sounds pretty gritty

[12:52] in my cool gritty voice.

Elliott Kalan

[12:54] I'm a doctor of penis having.

[12:56] So let's get into this.

[12:58] So this is the newest version

[12:59] of Doolittle

[12:59] and they make a few

[13:01] strange decisions

[13:02] with the story

[13:03] and the performers

[13:05] make some very strange decisions

[13:07] with their performances

[13:08] and, well, let's get into it

[13:10] because it's kind of

[13:11] all over the place.

[13:12] We begin,

[13:13] as most great movies do,

[13:14] with a prologue

[13:15] that explains

[13:16] who all the characters are

[13:17] and all their backstory

[13:18] so that later

[13:19] when the other characters

[13:20] are piecing together

[13:21] the clues

[13:22] of why Dr. Doolittle

[13:23] has secluded himself

[13:24] from humanity,

[13:25] we, the audience,

[13:26] already know all of this

[13:27] and it is boring.

[13:29] And this is, though,

[13:30] the best part of the movie.

[13:31] It's this animated prologue

[13:33] that looks beautiful

[13:34] where they explain

[13:35] it's narrated by Emma Thompson

[13:36] who, of course,

[13:37] throughout the movie

[13:37] is a parrot

[13:38] where it talks about

[13:40] how Dr. Doolittle,

[13:41] he was a famous doctor

[13:43] who could talk to animals.

[13:44] He had an explorer girlfriend

[13:45] named Lily

[13:45] and she's kind of like a,

[13:47] I don't know,

[13:49] what would you call it?

[13:49] Like a cutthroat island

[13:51] Geena Davis type,

[13:52] you know,

[13:53] based on the way she dresses

[13:54] and like kind of a lady pirate

[13:57] buccaneer explorer

[13:58] and they marry.

[14:00] Unfortunately,

[14:01] she dies at sea.

[14:02] Ooh, shades of frozen there.

[14:04] And he becomes a recluse

[14:05] with his animals

[14:06] in a sort of

[14:07] Tim Burton-esque

[14:08] wonder emporium

[14:09] of a house

[14:10] that has some like

[14:11] steampunk conveyor belts

[14:13] and things like that.

[14:14] And it made me realize,

[14:15] yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[14:16] And it's like,

[14:16] it's like semi-rotoscope

[14:17] so it's kind of a good introduction

[14:19] for your kid

[14:20] before you show them

[14:21] a scanner darkly,

[14:22] for instance.

[14:23] No, that's what I was going to say.

Dan McCoy

[14:24] The computerized rotoscoping

[14:27] and the presence

[14:27] of Robert Downey Jr.

[14:28] together make it impossible

[14:29] to not think of a scanner darkly.

Elliott Kalan

[14:31] It is,

[14:32] I was talking recently

[14:33] to my wife

[14:33] about scanner darkly

[14:34] and how Robert Downey Jr.'s

[14:36] performance in that

[14:37] is so good

[14:38] and part of it is because

[14:39] he's so great

[14:40] and it was at a time

[14:40] when he was coming back

[14:42] from rock bottom

[14:43] and so he is not

[14:44] automatically the coolest,

[14:46] hippest dude in the world.

[14:47] He's not Iron Man in it

[14:48] and I was like,

[14:49] oh, I forgot he can play characters

[14:50] other than Iron Man

[14:51] and he's so good in it.

S4

[14:53] That whole phase

[14:54] of his career

[14:54] sort of like starting

[14:55] with the singing detective

[14:56] and up to Iron Man

[14:58] like when it was basically just,

[15:01] it's like when some basketball player

[15:02] like, you know,

[15:03] tears their Achilles

[15:04] and they're gone for a while

[15:05] and then they come back

[15:06] and you're like,

[15:06] oh, like, right,

[15:07] this guy is incredible.

[15:09] Like, he's just been untapped

[15:11] for like 10 years.

[15:13] I would call it the

[15:14] He was Iron Man.

Elliott Kalan

[15:15] Yeah, I would call it

[15:16] the proving

[15:16] they should insure me

[15:17] for the production period

[15:18] of a career.

S4

[15:20] But like,

[15:20] kiss, kiss, bang, bang,

[15:21] goodnight, good luck,

[15:23] you know,

[15:23] scanner darkly,

[15:24] Zodiac, right?

[15:25] Like that whole run

[15:26] pre-Iron Man

[15:27] is very exciting.

Elliott Kalan

[15:29] He's so good in Zodiac

[15:30] and then he makes Iron Man

[15:31] and he's great as Iron Man

[15:32] but it's like now it's just,

[15:34] it's,

[15:34] Iron Man is to him

[15:35] kind of what Jack Sparrow

[15:36] is to Johnny Depp

[15:37] where people are like,

[15:38] oh, we love this performance.

[15:39] Do just that

[15:40] from now on.

Stuart Wellington

[15:41] It's so funny

[15:42] that you bring up Jack Sparrow

[15:43] because Robert Downey Jr.'s accent

[15:46] in this movie,

[15:47] too little,

[15:48] makes me yearn

[15:49] for the careful enunciation

[15:51] of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Elliott Kalan

[15:53] Is it?

[15:53] And this is the major,

[15:54] one of the major performance problems

[15:56] and we haven't,

[15:56] we get to it

[15:57] when it's more important,

[15:58] I guess,

[15:58] but Robert Downey Jr.

[15:59] has made the decision

[16:00] to one,

[16:00] put on kind of a strange

[16:01] Welsh-y type accent

[16:02] and two,

[16:03] do every line

[16:03] in a hushed,

[16:04] whispery tone

[16:05] even when he's irritated.

[16:06] So instead of being like,

[16:08] animals,

[16:08] leave me alone.

[16:09] He's like,

[16:09] animals,

[16:10] leave me alone?

[16:11] And it was like,

[16:11] why does it feel,

[16:13] why does it always sound

[16:14] like Shrek

[16:14] is whispering at me?

[16:15] I don't understand.

[16:16] Shrek's ASMR tape.

[16:19] So first though,

[16:20] we meet Stubbins,

[16:22] a little boy

[16:23] who also loves animals

[16:24] even though his dad

[16:24] just wants him

[16:25] to hunt all the time.

[16:27] Stubbins is what

[16:27] I ended up realizing

[16:28] is a totally unnecessary character

[16:30] as we'll find out.

[16:31] He accidentally shoots

[16:32] a squirrel

[16:32] and rather than put

[16:34] the CGI squirrel

[16:34] out of its misery

[16:35] like his heartless dad does,

[16:37] he instead follows

[16:38] Doolittle's parrot,

[16:39] Polly,

[16:39] Emma Thompson,

[16:40] who appears out of nowhere

[16:41] as if like Mary Poppins

[16:43] or Nanny McPhee,

[16:44] a magical being

[16:45] and leads him

[16:46] to Doolittle's estate

[16:47] which is full of CGI animals

[16:49] and Stubbins,

[16:50] I gotta tell you,

[16:51] doesn't seem particularly amazed

[16:52] to suddenly see

[16:53] elephants and giraffes

[16:54] wandering around

[16:55] an English estate.

[16:56] He takes it

[16:56] pretty much in stride.

[16:58] The way you would take,

[16:58] like he reacted to it

[17:00] the way I would,

[17:00] like you see a busker

[17:01] on the street in New York

[17:03] where for an instant

[17:04] it distracts your attention

[17:05] and then you're like,

[17:05] hmm,

[17:06] not interested in that

[17:07] and you turn your head away.

[17:08] So,

[17:09] he gets caught in,

[17:11] he does,

Dan McCoy

[17:11] yeah?

[17:11] He does shriek

[17:12] at the presence

[17:13] of a gorilla.

Elliott Kalan

[17:15] Yes,

[17:16] well,

[17:16] who wouldn't,

[17:17] Dan?

[17:17] He has a high-pitched shriek.

[17:20] And he gets caught

[17:21] in a net

[17:21] because there's a trap there,

[17:25] I guess for,

[17:26] poachers or somebody.

[17:28] Okay,

[17:29] Doolittle,

[17:29] now we finally get

[17:30] to really meet him.

[17:30] He is recluse bearded

[17:32] and his animals

[17:33] help him get dressed

[17:33] in a kind of weird

[17:35] take on the scene

[17:36] in,

[17:36] was it Snow White

[17:37] or Cinderella

[17:38] where the animals

[17:39] help her dress

[17:39] or both?

[17:40] I think it's Cinderella.

[17:41] Possibly Sleeping Beauty

[17:42] but also maybe

[17:43] all of those.

[17:44] Look,

[17:45] Disney princesses

[17:46] cannot get dressed

[17:47] without the help

[17:47] of animals.

[17:48] We know that.

[17:48] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[17:49] It was like a little bit

[17:50] of like Pee-wee's

[17:51] Big Adventure

[17:51] thrown in there.

Elliott Kalan

[17:52] Yeah,

[17:52] well,

[17:52] that's the thing.

[17:53] It made me realize,

[17:54] so,

[17:54] in Pee-wee's Big Adventure,

[17:55] I remember as a kid

[17:56] seeing that sequence

[17:57] where his breakfast

[17:58] gets made

[17:58] by his weirdo machines

[18:00] and thinking

[18:00] it was so amazing

[18:01] and so funny.

Stuart Wellington

[18:02] Hurtberg is listening

[18:03] to our podcast

[18:04] and is so mad

[18:05] you just called

[18:05] them weirdo machines.

[18:07] It's like,

[18:08] say my name,

[18:09] asshole,

[18:09] say my name.

Dan McCoy

[18:10] I had one legacy.

Elliott Kalan

[18:12] This is the one thing

[18:13] I'm remembered for.

[18:15] Please,

[18:16] as a fellow Jew,

[18:16] remember me.

[18:17] And I'm like,

[18:18] hey buddy,

[18:18] I'll put a stone

[18:18] in your grave,

[18:19] but like,

[18:19] leave me alone.

Dan McCoy

[18:20] Not my appearance

[18:21] in artisan models.

Elliott Kalan

[18:24] So,

[18:24] but that,

[18:25] I don't think

[18:26] I've seen

[18:26] ever since then

[18:27] like a kind of

[18:28] steampunky

[18:29] clockwork,

[18:29] Rube Goldberg thing

[18:30] that has captured

[18:31] that level of magic

[18:32] and why do you think

[18:33] that is?

[18:34] I was curious

[18:34] why you guys

[18:34] think that this,

[18:35] unless this really

[18:36] hit you with a sense

[18:37] of wonder

[18:37] and possibility.

Dan McCoy

[18:39] Well,

[18:40] I mean,

[18:40] the Pee Wee thing

[18:41] is actually like,

[18:42] you think of that

[18:43] as like kind of

[18:44] a frantic movie

[18:45] in certain ways,

[18:46] but it takes it slow.

[18:48] You watch every

[18:49] individual thing happen

[18:52] and you're amazing.

[18:53] Like there's a physicality

[18:54] to everything that happens.

[18:55] Like it feels like

[18:56] that is an actual machine

[18:58] rather than some CGI.

[18:59] creation

[19:00] because they didn't

[19:01] use CGI.

[19:02] And also like,

[19:02] it leads up to the joke

[19:04] where Pee Wee

[19:05] eats an incredibly

[19:07] small amount of breakfast

[19:08] before being full.

[19:09] And then wipes his mouth

Elliott Kalan

[19:10] with the napkin

[19:10] very daintily.

[19:11] When I was a kid,

[19:12] my sister and I,

[19:13] that's all we would do

[19:14] after we ate

[19:14] was we would just

[19:15] take napkins

[19:15] and lightly dab

[19:16] the corners of our mouths

[19:17] like he does

[19:18] and we'd leave all this food

[19:19] on our face.

S4

[19:21] It also like,

[19:22] it reflects his personality,

[19:24] right?

[19:24] It's like silly

[19:25] and overly busy

[19:26] and like,

[19:27] you know,

[19:27] like he's very invested in it

[19:29] and it's funny

[19:30] where he's like,

[19:30] I feel like Doolittle

[19:31] is not even,

[19:34] he's so laconic

[19:35] and uninterested

[19:36] in his magical house

[19:37] full of magical animals.

[19:38] Like,

[19:39] it seems like these things

[19:41] are happening to him.

Dan McCoy

[19:42] Yeah.

[19:43] And we talked about

[19:44] his dead wife before

[19:45] but I do think that

[19:46] I want to take a moment

[19:47] and talk about how like,

[19:48] so this is why he's withdrawn

[19:50] from the world

[19:50] and I do not understand

[19:52] this need for movies

[19:55] to give these kind of

[19:57] magical characters

[19:58] tragic backstories.

[20:00] Like,

[20:01] if you think about,

[20:02] say,

[20:02] Willy Wonka,

[20:03] right?

[20:04] Like,

[20:05] Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

[20:07] Like,

[20:08] Willy Wonka doesn't have

[20:09] the arc there.

[20:09] Like,

[20:10] Charlie has

[20:10] what the closest thing

[20:12] to an arc

[20:13] in that movie.

[20:14] Willy Wonka is just

[20:14] this magical pixie

[20:16] who is himself

[20:18] and doesn't need

[20:19] to have a reason

[20:20] to be that way.

[20:22] And,

[20:23] and like,

[20:23] I feel like Doolittle,

[20:25] like,

[20:25] it should be the same thing.

[20:26] Like,

[20:26] Dr. Doolittle is

[20:27] Dr. Doolittle.

[20:28] No need to be like,

[20:29] oh,

[20:29] he has a dead wife

[20:31] and that's motivating

[20:32] the action of this movie

[20:33] to some degree.

[20:34] Well,

Stuart Wellington

[20:34] Dan,

[20:35] I was reading Variety

[20:36] the other day

[20:37] and there was this article

[20:37] saying how studios

[20:38] have all these fridges

[20:40] lying around

[20:40] and you just gotta

[20:41] throw these wives at them.

Elliott Kalan

[20:42] Yeah,

[20:43] they're losing money

[20:44] on those fridges

[20:44] if they don't put

[20:45] wives,

[20:45] girlfriends,

[20:46] and assorted parents

[20:47] in there.

S4

[20:48] I,

[20:48] and also,

[20:49] remember,

[20:49] Tim Burton

[20:50] perverted that

[20:51] by giving

[20:52] Willy Wonka

[20:52] a tragic backstory,

[20:54] which was

[20:54] sort of an odd decision.

[20:56] I mean,

[20:56] it wasn't that tragic.

Elliott Kalan

[20:57] It was just that his dad

[20:58] didn't let him eat candy,

[20:59] right?

Dan McCoy

[21:00] Right.

[21:00] Yes,

[21:00] exactly.

[21:01] But it was the,

[21:02] like,

[21:02] look,

[21:03] I have a weird,

[21:05] I'm a weird defender

[21:06] of that movie.

[21:07] I think it's a bad choice

[21:08] that Johnny Depp is making.

[21:09] But otherwise,

[21:10] it's a pretty good adaptation

[21:12] of the book,

[21:13] except for they shove

[21:14] in this dentist shit

[21:15] in the middle of it.

[21:16] Why do you think

Elliott Kalan

[21:17] it's a bad choice

[21:18] for Johnny Depp to make?

Dan McCoy

[21:20] I think it's a little

[21:21] too creepy.

[21:22] Like,

[21:23] I think that

[21:23] Willy Wonka

[21:24] should be this character

[21:26] who makes candy,

[21:28] but his relationship

[21:30] to kids

[21:30] is hard to pin down.

[21:34] You know,

[21:35] but like...

[21:35] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[21:35] I feel like that's

[21:36] what you got in that movie.

[21:36] I think,

[21:37] I admire that

[21:38] in a world where

[21:40] Gene Wilder's

[21:41] Willy Wonka

[21:41] already exists,

[21:42] there's no reason

[21:43] to do that

[21:43] Willy Wonka again

[21:44] because it's perfect.

[21:46] But the,

[21:46] that,

[21:47] like,

[21:47] he was like...

Dan McCoy

[21:48] There's a lot of shit

[21:49] in that movie

[21:49] that's not Gene Wilder.

[21:51] That's not very good.

[21:52] No,

Elliott Kalan

[21:52] but I'm just talking about

[21:52] Gene Wilder's...

[21:53] Gene Wilder's amazing.

[21:54] Wilder had it down.

[21:55] I'm just talking about

[21:55] Gene Wilder's performance.

[21:57] Okay.

[21:57] Just Gene Wilder's performance

[21:58] is perfect in that.

[21:59] And I think it's a valid choice

[22:00] for Johnny Depp to be like,

[22:01] hmm,

[22:01] who's a recluse

[22:02] who lives in an amusement park

[22:03] and wants kids around?

[22:05] Michael Jackson.

[22:06] I'll make the character

[22:07] like Michael Jackson.

[22:08] And I think that's,

[22:09] it's a valid choice

[22:11] for that character

[22:11] even if it doesn't

[22:13] totally work

[22:14] ultimately

[22:14] as an entertaining

[22:15] thing to watch.

[22:16] Yes.

S4

[22:18] I think

[22:18] the dead wife,

[22:19] I mean,

[22:20] everything about this movie

[22:21] is a little shrouded

[22:23] in mystery

[22:23] because it was reshot

[22:24] and I'm sure

[22:25] we'll all talk about,

[22:25] you know,

[22:26] but Stephen Gagin,

[22:27] I think,

[22:28] you know,

[22:28] who is a bizarre choice

[22:29] to make a Dr. Doolittle movie,

[22:30] he's probably the one

[22:31] who's coming in

[22:32] and is like,

[22:33] this should have pathos,

[22:34] this should be about

[22:35] trauma

[22:36] and working things out,

[22:37] he should be more

[22:38] of a brain doctor

[22:39] than a body doctor,

[22:41] like,

[22:41] everything seems

[22:42] to stem from that,

[22:43] all these weird

[22:44] dark decisions.

Elliott Kalan

[22:45] I think that's

[22:46] probably part of it.

[22:47] Well,

[22:47] there's only three types

[22:48] of ways to adapt

[22:48] old stories now.

[22:50] You can either do

[22:50] a prequel

[22:51] that explains

[22:52] how he became

[22:52] Dr. Doolittle

[22:53] and it's all about him

[22:54] learning how to talk

[22:55] to animals,

[22:55] you do a gritty reboot

[22:57] like we talked about,

[22:58] John Doolittle,

[22:59] MD,

[22:59] where he's talking about

[23:00] what a massive ding dong

[23:01] he's got

[23:01] and someone's killing

[23:03] the animals of London

[23:04] and he has to like

[23:05] find the Jack the Ripper

[23:06] of animals

[23:07] or you do it like this

[23:09] where it's like,

[23:10] remember the Doolittle

[23:11] stories from before

[23:12] and he lived happily

[23:13] ever after?

[23:13] Well,

[23:14] whoever told you

[23:14] that must have lied

[23:15] because Doolittle's

[23:16] got some sad stuff too

[23:17] but now he's gonna

[23:18] come back

[23:19] where it's the kid

[23:19] rediscovered.

[23:20] Life doesn't work

[23:20] that way, baby.

[23:21] Way, baby.

[23:22] Yeah,

[23:23] where it's like

[23:23] the return to Oz

[23:24] of Doolittle's.

[23:25] Like,

[23:25] that's the only other

[23:25] way to do it

[23:26] and they chose

[23:26] the one they wanted

[23:27] and of those three,

[23:28] that's the one I'm,

[23:29] it works the most

[23:30] for me,

[23:30] I guess.

[23:31] Elliot,

Dan McCoy

[23:32] you're,

[23:32] there's not the only way

[23:33] you could do it

[23:34] the way that I think

[23:36] they're,

[23:36] I think the best.

[23:37] Oh no,

Elliott Kalan

[23:37] you can do it.

[23:38] I'm just saying now,

[23:39] those are the three

[23:39] studio approved ways

[23:42] to adapt a story.

[23:43] Prequel,

[23:43] dark reboot,

[23:44] or it's 20 years later

[23:46] and somebody's gotta

[23:46] shake them out

[23:47] of their doldrums.

Dan McCoy

[23:48] Well,

[23:49] I guess this isn't

[23:49] an American movie

[23:50] but you can do it

[23:51] the Paddington way

[23:52] which I think

[23:53] at the,

[23:54] at this film's

[23:55] best moments

[23:55] is what it's trying

[23:56] to shoot for,

[23:57] honestly,

[23:58] and not really doing it

[24:00] but like,

[24:01] just,

[24:02] just fucking accept

[24:03] the book for what it is,

[24:05] accept the vibe of it,

[24:07] like,

[24:07] not,

[24:08] you know,

[24:09] explain why there's

[24:10] this bear

[24:11] from darkest Peru

[24:12] who likes Marmalade

[24:13] and wants to go

[24:14] to London too much.

[24:15] Just have that be

[24:17] who that is

[24:17] and have Dr. Doolittle

[24:18] be a guy who loves animals

[24:20] and goes on adventures.

Elliott Kalan

[24:21] Because here's,

[24:22] I haven't seen

[24:22] the Paddington movies

[24:23] but here's the way

[24:23] I would have done it.

[24:24] So,

[24:25] you start in Peru

[24:25] and it starts

[24:27] with Paddington's

[24:28] grandfather.

[24:28] I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[24:28] you should really watch

[24:30] the Paddington movies.

[24:30] You would enjoy

[24:31] the Paddington movies.

Elliott Kalan

[24:31] I will,

[24:32] you're right,

[24:32] I've got lots of time

[24:33] on my hands

[24:33] and I'll watch,

[24:34] actually,

[24:34] every time I suggest

[24:35] watching him to Sammy,

[24:36] he's not,

[24:36] he thinks they're gonna be scary

[24:37] so he doesn't wanna watch them.

Dan McCoy

[24:38] I will say,

[24:39] honestly,

[24:39] for me,

[24:39] the first one is good

[24:41] but I kinda got bored.

[24:42] The second one is amazing.

Elliott Kalan

[24:43] So,

[24:43] here's how I would do it.

[24:44] Darkest Peru,

[24:45] it's 30 years ago.

[24:46] An old bear shows up

[24:48] and tells a young bear,

[24:50] there's a prophecy.

[24:52] Okay.

[24:52] Your grandson,

[24:54] your grandson

[24:55] will be the chosen bear

[24:57] and his name shall be

[24:59] Paddington.

[25:03] And so,

[25:03] then you cut,

[25:04] flash forward to,

[25:06] I'm walking on sunshine

[25:07] and Paddington is just kinda like

[25:09] in Peru,

[25:09] love and life,

[25:10] just being like,

[25:10] hey buddy,

[25:11] hey look over there

[25:11] and you just hear the voiceover.

[25:13] Now it's just Sonic at this point

[25:14] where he's like,

[25:15] hey,

[25:15] I'm having a great cool life

[25:17] but uh oh,

[25:17] what's happening now?

[25:18] Erp,

[25:19] let me rewind a little bit

[25:20] and you see how his family,

[25:23] like,

Elliott Kalan

[25:23] so the movie would end

[25:25] with him getting to London

[25:26] because that sets up

[25:27] the PCU,

[25:28] the Paddington Cinematic Universe

[25:29] and that's,

[25:30] and the next one is

[25:31] The Rise of Paddington

[25:32] and that's how he like

[25:33] meets the family

[25:34] and the last one,

[25:35] Starring Jeremy Piven.

[25:36] Yes,

[25:36] of course

[25:36] and the last one is called

[25:38] Aftermath,

[25:39] Paddington Aftermath

[25:40] or like,

[25:41] or Dawn of the Rise of Paddington

[25:43] and that's the one

[25:44] where he loses the family

[25:45] but he becomes the hero

[25:46] that they all need him to be.

Dan McCoy

[25:47] So that's Paddington.

[25:48] Now,

[25:48] wait,

[25:48] hold on,

[25:48] I have a very important question

[25:50] for David.

[25:51] Yeah.

[25:51] What is it like

[25:52] being on this podcast

[25:53] and sort of like

[25:54] having to endure

[25:57] a griffin,

[25:58] let's say,

[25:59] but like one that you don't have

[26:00] years of friendship

[26:01] and history with?

[26:03] No,

[26:03] you're thinking about this all wrong.

S4

[26:05] I'm just like,

[26:06] oh,

[26:07] someone else can handle

[26:08] anything else.

[26:09] I'm just here to like float

[26:11] and have fun

[26:11] and occasionally reject

[26:13] the silliness.

Stuart Wellington

[26:13] You don't have to drive the car.

S4

[26:15] It's probably great.

[26:16] Exactly.

[26:16] I don't have to try

[26:17] and keep trains on time

[26:18] like I do on my show.

[26:19] I'm just,

[26:20] I'm just here having,

[26:21] listening,

[26:21] laughing.

[26:22] It's great.

[26:23] I mean,

[26:23] it's the thing that my friend

Elliott Kalan

[26:25] said to me once.

[26:25] I was like,

[26:26] would you babysit for us?

[26:27] She's like,

[26:27] yeah,

[26:27] I love babysitting

[26:28] because the kids start crying.

[26:29] I know I'm going home

[26:30] at the end of the night.

[26:31] It's like,

[26:31] oh yeah,

[26:32] that's,

Stuart Wellington

[26:32] so,

[26:33] that's basically my approach

[26:34] to bartending,

[26:35] by the way.

Elliott Kalan

[26:37] Doolittle is playing chess

[26:38] with his gorilla

[26:39] who is voiced by

[26:40] Rami Malek.

[26:42] Yes,

[26:42] yes.

[26:43] In one of his other

Stuart Wellington

[26:44] Oscar worthy performance.

Elliott Kalan

[26:45] And who has the great catchphrase,

[26:47] I am not a prisoner of fear.

[26:49] Yeah,

[26:50] and there,

[26:51] for some reason,

[26:52] Rami Malek misunderstands

[26:53] what he's being told

[26:53] and shows his butt

[26:54] to Dr. Doolittle

[26:55] while they're playing chess.

[26:56] But ironically,

[26:57] a man who won an Oscar

[26:58] for lip syncing

[26:59] is now doing just the voice

[27:00] while a gorilla lip syncs.

[27:02] Amazing.

[27:02] But,

[27:03] it's one,

[27:04] I,

[27:04] there are a lot of

[27:05] really good talented actors

[27:06] in this

[27:06] that are for some reason

[27:08] chosen to do the voices

[27:09] for cartoon animals

[27:11] and have been directed

[27:12] to deliver the lines

[27:13] as if they are people

[27:14] who are standing in a booth

[27:15] trying to get their lines done

[27:17] in time to get out

[27:19] so they don't have to be

[27:19] paid overtime.

[27:20] And I,

[27:21] it's one of these movies

[27:21] where it really hit me

[27:22] how much they needed

[27:23] like cartoon voice actors

[27:24] to do the voices

[27:25] for these animals.

[27:26] Like as much as I want,

[27:28] who was it?

[27:29] Who does the voice of the duck?

[27:31] Octavia Spencer?

[27:31] Octavia Spencer.

[27:32] As much as I want Octavia Spencer

[27:34] to get a paycheck

[27:35] because she's great.

[27:36] Yeah.

[27:36] She's not my go-to person

[27:37] for the voice of a funny duck

[27:39] character.

[27:40] But anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[27:40] Or like,

[27:41] and it's,

[27:41] and they had,

[27:43] they had Ralph Innocent

[27:44] playing the human father

[27:45] of the kid.

[27:47] Like,

[27:47] that's money on the table,

[27:48] dude.

[27:49] He's got a great voice.

[27:50] He's got a great voice.

[27:51] That's like a perfect,

[27:52] like,

[27:52] you cast John Cena

[27:53] to do the voice of a bear.

[27:55] He's completely hairless.

[27:57] He's not a bear.

[27:58] Get a hairy guy to do it.

Elliott Kalan

[27:59] Get the late Robin Williams

[28:01] to do it.

[28:01] A man covered in hair.

[28:03] So,

[28:04] and the other thing

[28:05] which we soon learn

[28:05] is that

[28:06] this movie takes place

[28:07] during the reign

[28:08] of Queen Victoria

[28:08] and the humans

[28:09] all speak

[28:10] in a sort of,

[28:11] you know,

[28:12] antique Victorian way.

[28:13] But all the animals

[28:14] speak in normal,

[28:16] modern slang

[28:17] to the point

[28:18] where an octopus

[28:18] later tells Dr. Doolittle

[28:20] snitches get stitches

[28:21] and the polar bear is like,

[28:22] hey bro,

[28:23] yeah,

[28:23] you did it.

[28:24] Awesome.

[28:25] I don't,

[28:26] so animals,

[28:27] so much as you watch,

[28:28] when I recently watched

[28:29] Paris is Burning

[28:30] for the first time

[28:31] oh,

[28:31] all of our slang

[28:31] comes from drag culture

[28:33] of the 1980s.

[28:34] I didn't realize

[28:35] all of our slang

[28:36] even further

[28:36] comes from animal culture

[28:38] of the 1880s.

[28:39] Guys,

Dan McCoy

[28:40] we've been stealing

[28:41] from the animals.

[28:41] I gotta say,

[28:42] like,

[28:42] I don't understand

[28:42] the problem,

[28:43] Elliot.

[28:43] I don't know

[28:44] why you would

[28:44] expect animals,

[28:45] you know,

[28:46] dialect to have evolved

[28:48] in the same way

[28:49] that humans talk.

[28:52] That's a good point.

[28:52] They have this whole

[28:53] separate idiom,

[28:54] you know?

Elliott Kalan

[28:55] Yeah,

[28:55] that involves like,

[28:56] what almost,

[28:57] like,

[28:57] I would keep waiting

[28:58] for a pop culture

[28:58] reference to now

[28:59] and it never quite

[29:00] got that far

[29:01] but they got pretty close,

[29:02] I think.

[29:03] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:03] Guys,

[29:04] I have a serious question.

[29:06] Now,

[29:07] I may have missed this

[29:08] but they explain

[29:09] that the humans can,

[29:11] like,

[29:11] if they spend enough time

[29:12] around these animals

[29:12] and they study hard,

[29:14] they can learn

[29:15] how to speak animal language.

[29:17] Yes.

[29:17] Do they explain

[29:17] how all the animals

[29:18] can talk with each other?

Elliott Kalan

[29:21] Well,

[29:21] they all speak

[29:22] galactic basic.

[29:23] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:24] But they specify

[29:25] that different animals

[29:26] speak different languages.

[29:28] Yeah.

[29:29] Yeah.

S4

[29:29] That's true.

[29:29] But at the same time,

[29:30] it's like,

[29:31] he only has to pick up

[29:32] one thing

[29:33] which doesn't make any sense.

[29:35] But you know what I mean?

[29:35] Like,

[29:35] when the kid is describing

[29:38] how he's learning

[29:39] all of the little idiosyncrasies.

[29:42] I mean,

[29:42] it's,

[29:43] I prefer the Eddie Murphy,

[29:45] look,

[29:45] he's touched by an angel.

Elliott Kalan

[29:46] Like,

[29:46] that's better.

[29:47] Like,

[29:47] just give me that.

[29:48] The best version of it

[29:50] is when we,

[29:51] years ago,

[29:51] we did Zookeeper

[29:52] with the King of Queens.

[29:54] Of course.

[29:55] And he gets hit on the head

[29:57] oh,

[29:57] he's gonna get hit on the head

[29:58] and it's gonna give him

[29:59] the ability to talk to animals.

[30:00] And the animals were like,

[30:00] no,

[30:00] we can always talk.

[30:01] We just don't like

[30:02] doing it around people.

[30:03] And I was like,

[30:03] well,

[30:04] why don't you talk to people

[30:05] and tell them not to eat you

[30:06] and kill you?

[30:07] Wait,

[30:08] so they just hit him on the head

S4

[30:09] just to hit him on the head?

Elliott Kalan

[30:10] No,

[30:11] no,

[30:11] he has an accident

[30:12] and gets hit on the head

[30:13] and then the animals

[30:14] are like crowded around him.

[30:15] And I think it's the lion

[30:16] voiced by,

[30:17] I believe,

[30:17] Sly Stallone

[30:18] who says,

[30:19] yeah,

[30:19] we just don't talk around people

[30:20] because it freaks them out.

[30:22] but you have,

[30:23] you've been imprisoned.

[30:24] You know,

[30:24] I didn't just tell them

[30:26] you shouldn't be there.

Dan McCoy

[30:27] The reason it freaks them out

[30:28] is you haven't been doing it.

[30:30] Like,

[30:30] if you did it all the time,

[30:31] like,

[30:32] it would just be part

[30:32] of the maverick of life.

S4

[30:34] Yeah,

[30:34] but they know it would just

[30:35] destabilize society

[30:37] too much at this point.

[30:38] It's just awkward

[30:38] at this point.

[30:39] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[30:39] the society that treats

[30:40] their lives as playthings

[30:42] and food,

[30:43] again,

[30:43] they have nothing

[30:44] to lose from this

[30:45] except their chains.

[30:47] So,

Elliott Kalan

[30:47] Stubbins,

[30:48] the boy we mentioned before,

[30:49] he meets Lady Rose,

[30:50] an emissary from the Queen,

[30:52] the character who I believe

[30:53] should be in the Stubbins role

[30:55] because Stubbins is going

[30:56] to go on a quest

[30:56] with Dr. Doolittle

[30:57] and become his apprentice.

[30:59] And this Lady Rose character

[31:00] basically just shows up

[31:02] to say the Queen's in trouble

[31:02] and then doesn't get

[31:04] to go on the adventure.

[31:05] And how much better

[31:06] would this movie have been

[31:06] if it was like a man

[31:08] and like a sassy little girl,

[31:09] or at least a brave little girl,

[31:10] rather than a man

[31:11] and like Stubbins

[31:12] who,

[31:13] all due respect

[31:13] to the kid playing him,

[31:15] has no personality whatsoever.

[31:17] You know.

[31:18] They also meet

[31:19] the scaredy cat gorilla

[31:20] whose name is Chi-Chi.

[31:21] I assume after the restaurant chain

[31:23] of the same name.

[31:25] Or maybe he grew up

[31:26] to found that chain?

[31:28] Uh-huh,

[31:28] yep.

[31:29] Anyway,

[31:29] let's get to the plot,

[31:30] shall we?

[31:31] The Queen is sick.

[31:32] Doolittle's like,

[31:32] I don't care,

[31:33] but after saving Stubbins' squirrel

[31:35] from an operation,

[31:36] the squirrel vows revenge

[31:37] on Stubbins,

[31:38] something which never pays off

[31:40] in any way whatsoever.

[31:41] Uh,

Dan McCoy

[31:42] I gotta say though,

[31:43] the squirrel is Craig Robinson,

[31:45] like,

[31:45] I laughed at a few of his,

[31:47] uh,

[31:48] lines.

[31:49] Like,

[31:49] later on he's,

[31:50] yeah,

[31:50] later on he's like,

[31:52] like day 24,

[31:53] I don't know why

[31:54] I'm still following

[31:54] these lunatics.

[31:55] Right.

S4

[31:56] The thing is,

[31:57] everyone is giving

[31:58] the vocal performance of,

[32:00] okay,

[32:00] I'll do a weekend

[32:01] in a booth for you,

[32:02] Robert.

[32:03] Like,

[32:03] sure,

[32:03] you'll owe me,

[32:04] you know,

[32:05] you'll owe me a favor.

[32:06] But,

[32:06] you know,

[32:07] if you have a comedian

[32:08] like Kumail Nanjiani,

[32:09] Craig Robinson,

[32:10] at least they'll be funny.

[32:11] It's the,

[32:11] it's the people like John Cena

[32:13] or Rami Malek

[32:14] where you're like,

[32:14] what is it you're looking for?

[32:16] Like,

[32:16] you're not gonna get pathos

[32:17] from Rami Malek.

[32:18] Like,

[32:19] Well,

Elliott Kalan

[32:19] it's the same problem

[32:21] that the movie Ferdinand had.

[32:22] I know all you guys

[32:23] also took your sons

[32:24] to see Ferdinand

[32:25] during the coldest winter

[32:27] in New York history.

[32:28] But the,

[32:29] or,

[32:29] you know,

[32:30] in the last hundred years.

[32:31] I took my son

[32:31] to see Ferdinand

[32:32] this is not a bad movie,

[32:34] but the voices are so flat.

[32:36] I mean,

[32:36] part of it is that they had,

[32:38] oh,

[32:39] what's that football player's name

[32:40] who's in it?

[32:41] Peyton Manning,

[32:42] I believe.

[32:42] Peyton Manning.

[32:42] I mean,

[32:43] like,

[32:43] don't cast Peyton Manning

[32:44] as a voice

[32:44] in your funny animal movie.

[32:46] But,

[32:46] like,

[32:47] the voices,

[32:47] the delivery was so flat

[32:48] that even,

[32:49] like,

[32:50] I'm remembering,

[32:50] I'm forgetting every single name

[32:52] in the world

[32:53] from Saturday Night Live

[32:54] and Ghostbusters

[32:55] and,

[32:56] Kate McKinnon.

[32:57] Kate McKinnon.

[32:58] Like,

[32:58] even her,

[32:58] like,

[32:58] the reads were kind of off

[33:00] and it was like,

[33:00] I don't know what's going on

[33:01] with voice directing these days.

[33:03] Well,

Dan McCoy

[33:03] but also,

[33:04] I mean,

[33:04] the problem is,

[33:05] as Billy West would rail against

[33:07] if he were here,

[33:08] like,

[33:08] they're employing,

[33:09] you know,

[33:09] celebrities to do voices

[33:10] when that's not necessarily

[33:12] their strong point.

[33:13] Like,

[33:13] there are actors

[33:14] who do this all the time

[33:16] and are very good at it,

[33:17] you know.

S4

[33:17] They have nice faces

[33:19] that I like to look at.

[33:20] That's sort of a whole deal

[33:21] of being a famous actor.

Elliott Kalan

[33:23] Well,

[33:23] that's the funny,

[33:24] that's like,

[33:24] I thought it was,

[33:25] it's such a funny thing

[33:26] that when an animated movie

[33:27] goes overseas,

[33:28] the actors from the American

[33:30] dub do press overseas.

[33:32] So,

[33:32] like,

[33:32] when Madagascar

[33:33] was in other countries,

[33:35] like,

[33:35] Ben Stiller and everybody

[33:36] would go do press there

[33:37] even though their voices

[33:38] were not even in the movie.

[33:39] So,

[33:39] it's like,

[33:40] because they dub it

[33:41] with a local language actor.

[33:42] So,

[33:43] it was like,

[33:43] hey,

[33:44] so,

[33:44] here's this movie.

[33:45] I'm in it,

[33:46] except I'm not really in it

[33:47] because you're not going

[33:47] to see me or hear me,

[33:48] but I'm famous,

[33:49] so ask me some questions

[33:50] about it.

S4

[33:51] Griffin,

[33:51] I'm sorry,

[33:52] but I haven't,

[33:52] Griffin told a story

[33:53] about Jesse Eisenberg,

[33:54] I think,

[33:55] getting a call from his agent

[33:56] being told,

[33:57] like,

[33:57] hey,

[33:57] Rio is like the biggest movie

[33:59] in Brazil.

[34:00] like,

[34:00] it's huge,

[34:01] Rio,

[34:02] and Jesse Eisenberg

[34:03] had to be like,

[34:04] I had nothing to do,

[34:05] I'm not involved

[34:06] in the Brazilian version

[34:07] of Rio.

[34:08] You don't need to call me.

Elliott Kalan

[34:10] I mean,

[34:11] and also,

[34:11] for a movie called Rio

[34:12] to be a big hit in Brazil

[34:13] is like,

[34:14] I mean,

[34:14] come on,

[34:14] if it's not,

[34:15] you screwed something up.

[34:16] Come on.

Stuart Wellington

[34:17] Yeah,

[34:18] and there's,

[34:18] I don't know if it's like

[34:19] a sound design thing

[34:20] or maybe it's just the,

[34:22] maybe it's just the voice acting

[34:23] or direction,

[34:23] but like,

[34:24] I had a lot of trouble

[34:25] telling where any voice

[34:28] was coming from.

[34:29] Like,

[34:30] I had,

[34:30] it just,

[34:31] it all was just this mishmash

[34:32] where I could never tell

[34:33] if like,

[34:34] a character was on the other

[34:35] side of the room.

[34:37] Well,

Dan McCoy

[34:37] I don't know whether

[34:38] this is related or not,

[34:39] but like,

[34:40] the famous story about this

[34:42] is that like,

[34:43] Stephen Kagan is the original

[34:44] director of this

[34:46] after,

[34:47] before their reshoots

[34:48] did not have it planned out

[34:50] where the animals

[34:51] would be on screen,

[34:53] which is crazy.

[34:54] A crazy way to do a movie

[34:55] with CGI animals.

[34:56] And so a lot of it

[34:57] is ADR,

[34:58] like,

[34:59] a lot of it is like,

[35:00] jerry-rigged after the fact.

S4

[35:02] Yeah,

[35:02] Kagan was just like,

[35:03] we'll figure it out.

[35:04] Like,

[35:04] he did not get,

[35:05] I think,

[35:06] that you need to plan

[35:07] pre-vis all this crap

[35:08] in advance.

Elliott Kalan

[35:09] Because there's a fair amount

[35:10] of like,

[35:10] ostriches running by

[35:11] in the background

[35:12] with their heads off camera

[35:13] while they say a line,

[35:14] and it's like,

[35:15] yeah,

[35:15] okay,

[35:16] I guess they just,

[35:16] they just stuck that in

[35:18] because they had a line

[35:18] from the ostrich

[35:19] and he wasn't in the scene

[35:20] at the moment,

[35:20] so they had to have him

[35:21] run by in the background

[35:22] and say it.

[35:23] But they're gonna go,

[35:25] they have to go save the queen

[35:26] because here's the thing,

[35:27] the queen gave Dr. Dolittle

[35:29] the lease for this house,

[35:31] but if she dies,

[35:32] he's gonna lose the house

[35:33] and the animals

[35:34] are gonna have to go

[35:35] to the zoo.

[35:36] And the animals shave him

[35:37] so they can go.

[35:38] We're introduced

[35:39] to the other animals,

[35:39] they're Dab-Dab the duck,

[35:40] Octavia Spencer,

[35:41] there's Plimpton the ostrich,

[35:42] who's Kamail Nanjiani,

[35:44] Channing Tatum

[35:44] as the polar bear

[35:45] whose name I forgot,

[35:46] and Stubbins kind of

[35:47] stows away in their trunk.

[35:48] Meanwhile,

[35:50] back at Buckingham Palace,

[35:51] the evil Dr. Mudfly,

[35:53] played by Michael Sheen,

[35:54] is leeching the queen

[35:56] to ensure that she dies.

[35:57] Uh-oh,

[35:58] there's some nefarious

[35:59] doings about,

[36:00] but luckily,

[36:01] Gyps the dog

[36:02] smells something suspicious

[36:04] and then the queen's octopus,

[36:06] after telling Doolittle

[36:07] Snitches Get Stitches,

[36:08] tells them it's poison.

[36:10] It turns out the only cure

[36:11] is the fruit from the Eden tree,

[36:13] the very tree of legend

[36:15] that Doolittle's wife

[36:17] was looking for

[36:17] when she died in a storm.

[36:20] Bum, bum, bum.

Dan McCoy

[36:21] And Doolittle explains it,

[36:23] he's like,

[36:24] oh, it's from a tree

[36:25] no one has seen

[36:26] on an island

[36:27] no one knows exists.

[36:29] He does this whole thing,

[36:30] and I'm like,

[36:31] well, then how do you know

[36:33] about this island?

S4

[36:34] Is this supposed to be

[36:36] the tree of life?

[36:37] Is that the idea?

[36:38] I have to assume so.

[36:39] Yeah.

[36:40] I feel like that must have been

Elliott Kalan

[36:41] an idea in the movie

[36:44] at some point

[36:45] that was either

[36:46] a lie did or changed,

[36:47] but also they say like

[36:48] it can cure anything

[36:49] and gives eternal life,

[36:50] but that's not what

[36:51] the fruit from the tree

[36:52] in Eden did.

[36:53] Like, the tree in Eden,

[36:54] the fruit gave you

[36:54] the knowledge of good and evil,

[36:56] which is,

[36:57] the queen I assume

[36:58] already knows good and evil

[36:59] where she shouldn't be

[37:00] in charge of a country.

Stuart Wellington

[37:02] So you're saying

[37:03] being nude is evil,

[37:06] Elliot?

[37:07] So I have to say,

[37:09] I was expecting Doolittle

[37:10] to have to go get in

[37:12] a riddle contest

[37:13] with Wotan

[37:14] in order to get this fruit,

[37:15] but I guess

[37:16] I was disappointed.

[37:17] There's no mythological

[37:19] happenings at all

[37:20] in the rest of this movie,

[37:21] right?

Elliott Kalan

[37:22] Well, we'll see.

[37:23] Perhaps there's a mythological

[37:25] animal later on.

[37:26] Stubbins,

[37:27] he sneaks along

[37:27] as Doolittle's apprentice

[37:28] on this journey.

[37:29] There's a brief giraffe chase

[37:31] where a French dog,

[37:33] right,

[37:33] or fox or something,

[37:34] is riding a giraffe

[37:35] and it's...

[37:36] Yes, that is Marion Cotillard.

[37:38] At the end of the card,

[37:39] it's like Marion Cotillard

[37:40] not only do I not know

[37:41] why Marion Cotillard

[37:42] was chosen,

[37:44] that character was in the movie

[37:45] because all she does is,

[37:47] she just has that one scene

[37:48] with the giraffe, right,

[37:49] where I assume she's

[37:49] the giraffe's lover

[37:50] and that's why she's riding

[37:52] on the back with Stubbins.

[37:53] It doesn't make any sense.

Stuart Wellington

[37:54] And the giraffe

[37:55] was Selena Gomez, right?

S4

[37:58] Yes, the giraffe

[37:59] is Selena Gomez.

[38:01] I just have to imagine

[38:02] there's a whole

[38:03] like Rosencrantz

[38:04] and Guildenstern plot

[38:05] with them

[38:05] that they had to cut.

[38:06] Why else would you bring in

[38:08] Academy Award winner

[38:09] Marion Cotillard

[38:10] as a French fox

[38:11] named Tutu?

Elliott Kalan

[38:12] For all those kids

[38:13] who loved Lovey and Rose

[38:15] and want to see her

[38:16] in more of their movies.

[38:18] Of course.

[38:19] It involves them

[38:19] jumping onto

[38:20] Doolittle's boat

[38:21] from a bridge.

[38:22] It's all very unnecessary.

[38:24] And Holly,

[38:25] the parrot,

[38:26] Emma Thompson,

[38:26] tells Doolittle,

[38:27] you need a human around you

[38:28] to remind you

[38:29] that you're human.

[38:31] Meanwhile,

[38:31] this evil aristocrat

[38:32] played by Jim Broadbent

[38:33] wants to kill the queen

[38:34] and take the throne.

[38:36] I don't know

[38:36] if he really understands

[38:37] how monarchy works.

[38:39] If the queen dies,

[38:40] it's not going to be

[38:40] this random Chamberlain dude

[38:42] who becomes the king.

[38:44] That seems pretty basic.

Dan McCoy

[38:46] Kind of a military coup

[38:47] is what he's planning.

[38:48] I'm not really sure.

[38:50] Well, I mean,

S4

[38:50] to weigh in

[38:52] with my knowledge

[38:52] of British history,

[38:53] if this is young Victoria...

[38:55] Wait, David,

[38:56] did you live in England?

[38:57] Or is that...

[38:58] I did live in England

[38:59] Oh, you lived in England.

[39:00] So you grew up in England.

[39:01] Interesting.

[39:01] Oh.

[39:02] Yes, yes.

[39:03] And that's something

[39:04] that's normal

[39:04] and well-known about me

[39:06] and it's regular news.

[39:08] If Queen Victoria...

[39:09] I mean,

[39:09] how old is she supposed to be?

[39:11] Right?

[39:11] She's in her 30s.

[39:12] This is young Victoria.

[39:13] This is young Victoria.

[39:15] Yeah.

[39:15] You know,

[39:16] so her kid

[39:16] would be like 10 years old

[39:18] if not...

[39:19] You know,

[39:19] so maybe he's looking

[39:20] for a regency.

[39:21] You know,

[39:22] he wants to like

[39:23] sit on the throne

[39:24] while there's a child king.

Elliott Kalan

[39:25] Maybe,

[39:26] but it's like,

[39:26] I don't know if Victoria

[39:27] had any siblings,

[39:28] but usually the younger sibling

[39:29] would then...

[39:30] No, no.

[39:31] Because I don't know

[39:31] that she had any children

S4

[39:32] at that point.

[39:32] No, it goes kids first

[39:34] then siblings.

[39:35] I am an expert

[39:35] in royal primogenity.

Elliott Kalan

[39:37] But I don't know

[39:37] that she had any kids

[39:38] at that point.

[39:39] Okay, Stu,

[39:40] Stu,

[39:40] I'm going to need you

[39:41] to use your famous

[39:41] research skills

[39:42] to look up

[39:43] how old Queen Victoria was

[39:44] during the events

[39:45] of this movie

[39:46] which is based

[39:46] on true fact.

[39:48] I mean,

[39:49] it was just so strange

[39:50] to me to see

[39:51] Queen Victoria presented

[39:52] as a young woman

[39:53] when,

[39:54] in my mind,

[39:54] she's a stout,

[39:56] dowdy old lady

[39:56] who says,

[39:57] we are not amused

[39:58] to Sherlock Holmes.

Stuart Wellington

[40:00] So,

[40:00] I just,

[40:01] I plugged that

[40:02] into the search bar

[40:04] in the metal archives.

[40:06] No results.

[40:07] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[40:08] Disappointing.

[40:09] Especially since

[40:10] Britain has such

[40:11] a strong presence

[40:12] on the metal scene.

[40:13] you would think.

Stuart Wellington

[40:15] So,

[40:15] and Jim Broadbent,

[40:17] you know,

[40:17] I've seen him play

[40:18] bigger,

[40:19] crazier characters,

[40:20] but,

[40:20] you know,

[40:21] it's fun to see him.

[40:22] And he's got,

[40:23] he's got Michael Sheen

[40:24] delivering his best

[40:26] like John Hodgman

[40:27] style character

[40:28] as an evil

[40:29] doctor general,

[40:31] right?

Elliott Kalan

[40:31] Yeah,

[40:32] yeah.

[40:32] And so,

[40:33] and Michael Sheen,

[40:34] Dr. Mudfly is obsessed

[40:36] with how Dr. Doolittle

[40:37] always got everything

[40:38] he wanted

[40:39] and everyone thinks

[40:39] he's so great

[40:40] but he's so crazy

[40:41] and Dr. Mudfly

[40:42] is going to get it.

[40:43] And Dr. Mudfly

[40:44] seems to keep forgetting

[40:45] that Dr. Doolittle

[40:45] lost his wife

[40:46] to a shipwreck

[40:47] and has lived

[40:48] as a recluse

[40:49] for years.

[40:49] So he's like,

[40:50] at the end of the movie

[40:51] he's like,

[40:51] Dr. Doolittle,

[40:52] now you're going to see

[40:52] what it's like

[40:53] to not get what you want

[40:54] for a change.

[40:55] he's a widower.

[40:56] Come on, man.

[40:57] He's a widower

[40:58] and also,

S4

[40:58] you are doctor

[40:59] to the queen.

[41:00] Like,

[41:00] have you not ascended

[41:01] to your highest honors?

[41:03] Like,

[41:04] what is your,

[41:04] what's the,

[41:05] what more could you be?

Elliott Kalan

[41:07] Maybe he just always

[41:08] wanted a pet gorilla.

[41:09] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[41:10] That said,

[41:11] Michael Sheen

[41:11] is one of the,

[41:12] one of the best things

[41:13] about this movie.

[41:14] I feel like,

[41:14] uh,

[41:15] even in our views

[41:16] at the time.

[41:17] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[41:17] I mean,

[41:17] he's,

[41:18] is acting in the movie

[41:19] that this wants to be

[41:20] because look guys,

[41:21] I'll put some of my cards

[41:22] on the table.

[41:22] I did not find this to be

[41:24] as disastrous a movie

[41:25] as I had been led to believe,

[41:26] partly because it looks beautiful.

[41:28] It's bright and colorful.

[41:29] It's not grim and gray and beige

[41:32] and brown everywhere

[41:33] and like black and white

[41:34] and with no colors.

[41:35] But it's like,

[41:36] it wants to be this like cartoony,

[41:38] or it should be this cartoony romp,

[41:39] like you're saying,

[41:40] Dan.

[41:40] But instead it's like,

[41:42] it's weighted down

[41:43] by all these elements

[41:44] that don't really fit into that.

[41:45] So by the time they are like,

[41:47] literally running

[41:48] from Barbary Coast pirates,

[41:50] it's like,

[41:51] why is this boring?

[41:53] Like I don't understand

[41:53] why they're in a,

[41:54] they're in a pirate,

[41:55] they're on a pirate island

[41:56] fighting a tiger

[41:57] and it's boring

[41:58] for some reason.

S4

[42:00] I will say,

[42:01] I watched this film again.

[42:02] Thanks guys.

[42:05] Thank you for putting the work in.

[42:06] I appreciate it.

[42:07] Even Dan doesn't always do that.

[42:09] Right.

[42:09] I rented it on iTunes

[42:10] and I just got an alert

[42:11] from iTunes

[42:11] that my rental period's almost up.

[42:13] So, you know,

[42:13] obviously I got to keep an eye on that.

[42:16] But,

[42:16] and on my TV,

[42:18] I did not think,

[42:19] I think this is a quite bad

[42:20] movie,

[42:21] but it's pretty easy to ignore.

[42:23] Like you can just kind of like

[42:25] have it on

[42:25] and like,

[42:26] oh, what's,

[42:26] okay,

[42:27] antics.

[42:27] Okay.

[42:27] Yeah,

[42:28] the animals are making jokes.

[42:29] Seeing this in a theater,

[42:30] you really,

[42:31] it really felt like

[42:32] being imprisoned with it.

[42:33] Like,

[42:33] and,

[42:34] and really,

[42:35] it really,

[42:36] like when you're really locked in with it,

[42:37] really highlights

[42:38] how bizarre

[42:39] some of the editing

[42:41] and some of the sort of

[42:41] story,

[42:42] uh,

[42:43] smoothing is.

[42:44] Like,

[42:45] it will jump from scene to scene

[42:46] with the parrot

[42:47] trying to like fill in narrative gaps

[42:48] really quickly

[42:49] in this way

[42:50] where you're just like,

Elliott Kalan

[42:51] is an act missing?

[42:52] Like,

[42:53] what happened?

[42:53] Oh,

[42:54] that's right.

[42:54] I forgot that like to mention,

[42:55] this comes up especially with the pirate island

[42:57] where they're like,

[42:58] we're going to have to sneak into that pirate island

[43:00] and,

[43:00] and Polly is like,

[43:01] so they did sneak into the pirate island

[43:02] and then this is what happened.

[43:04] was there going to be a scene

[43:05] where they snuck into the pirate island?

S4

[43:07] It feels like there's whole reels

[43:09] that they were just like,

[43:10] they must have fallen off the truck.

[43:11] Who cares?

[43:12] Just put it out.

Dan McCoy

[43:14] That's very interesting to hear

[43:15] that it was a different experience

[43:16] because,

[43:17] uh,

[43:17] to your point,

[43:18] like,

[43:19] when we were watching it,

[43:20] Audrey was like,

[43:20] see,

[43:21] this would be a perfectly fine thing

[43:22] to take a nap to on a Sunday.

[43:24] Yeah,

[43:24] I was,

Elliott Kalan

[43:25] I was,

[43:25] I was like,

[43:26] oh man,

[43:26] this is going to be disastrous.

[43:27] And then,

[43:28] I was like,

[43:29] I,

[43:29] my,

[43:29] I briefly considered watching it with my son

[43:31] eh,

[43:34] eh,

[43:34] he could have watched it

[43:35] and it would have been fine.

[43:36] And,

[43:36] you know,

[43:36] he would have,

[43:37] I'm sure he would have enjoyed parts of it.

[43:39] Like,

[43:39] this is,

[43:40] I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[43:41] he might have been,

[43:42] there,

[43:42] there is that,

[43:43] uh,

[43:44] there is that,

[43:44] like,

[43:45] kind of erotic scene

[43:46] where Antonio Banderas

[43:48] is just languishing

[43:49] amidst,

[43:50] uh,

[43:50] beautiful tigers.

[43:52] Like,

[43:53] it's pretty erotic.

[43:54] Oh,

[43:54] the post-tiger orgy scene

Elliott Kalan

[43:55] where you know

[43:56] that he's fucked a bunch of tigers.

Stuart Wellington

[43:57] I don't know if you want to

[43:58] introduce children to that.

[43:59] It's a little intense.

Elliott Kalan

[44:00] I mean,

[44:00] the real problem is my,

[44:01] is my son during the giraffe chase

[44:03] would be like,

[44:03] what voice is that?

[44:05] Where have I heard that voice?

[44:08] Is that Marion Cotillard?

[44:09] Wait a minute.

[44:10] Hold on.

[44:11] No,

[44:11] it can't be.

[44:12] And he would really bother.

[44:13] Of two days,

Elliott Kalan

[44:13] one night?

[44:14] The same way that we,

[44:15] we watched Big Hero 6,

[44:17] uh,

[44:18] yesterday.

[44:19] And I hadn't seen it

[44:20] who is that voice?

[44:21] And it bugged me the whole movie.

[44:22] I'm like,

[44:22] oh,

[44:23] James Cromwell.

[44:24] That's who that voice is.

[44:24] And then I said to him,

[44:26] oh,

[44:26] that's the farmer from Babe.

[44:27] And he was like,

[44:27] whatever.

[44:30] Whatever,

[44:30] dad.

[44:31] Anyway,

[44:32] uh,

[44:32] they're on,

[44:33] so he,

[44:33] so,

[44:33] uh,

[44:34] Jim Broadwent sends Mudfly

[44:35] to go after Doolittle

[44:36] to stop him from saving the queen

[44:37] at all costs.

[44:38] Doolittle is on the ship.

[44:40] He's boxing the gorilla,

[44:41] trying to teach it to be brave.

[44:42] Uh,

[44:43] cause,

[44:43] you know,

[44:44] it's a gorilla who's afraid of things.

[44:45] It's hilarious.

[44:46] Uh,

[44:46] then he hears an eerie whistle at night

[44:48] and remembers his wife.

[44:49] This,

[44:50] I don't quite know

[44:51] what they were getting at

[44:52] for sure here.

[44:54] Uh,

[44:54] but it happens.

[44:56] And there,

[44:56] and that's when I realized

[44:57] one of the monkeys on the ship

[44:58] is named Elliot.

[44:58] So I was like,

[44:59] that's cool.

[45:00] Um,

[45:01] Doolittle calls a whale

[45:02] to help them with a warship

[45:04] that Dr. Mudfly is commanding.

[45:06] Uh,

[45:06] and they tie a harness to the whale

[45:08] to move their ship faster

[45:10] and the warship fires

[45:11] and Chi-Chi,

[45:12] the gorilla,

[45:13] gets scared

[45:13] and drops Doolittle's scuba rope

[45:14] cause he's in kind of like

[45:15] a steampunk,

[45:16] uh,

[45:16] scuba suit.

[45:17] Uh,

[45:18] or,

[45:18] you know,

[45:18] one of those aqualung type,

[45:19] uh,

[45:20] bathysphere suits.

[45:21] Uh,

[45:21] but he survives just fine

[45:22] thanks to Stubbins

[45:24] and they escape.

[45:25] Uh,

[45:25] and that's when we realized

[45:26] that Mudfly is obsessed

[45:27] with Dr. Doolittle

[45:27] and Mudfly establishes himself

[45:29] as the funniest character

[45:30] in the movie.

[45:31] Um,

[45:31] but there's a lot of like,

[45:33] a lot of Mudfly just going like,

[45:34] hmm,

[45:35] oh,

[45:35] Doolittle,

[45:36] hmm.

[45:36] and I wasn't sure if I liked

[45:37] how single-minded he is

[45:39] or if there were times

[45:39] where I was like,

[45:40] I want to see a little more

[45:40] about what Mudfly does

[45:42] when he's not fuming

[45:42] about Doolittle.

[45:43] I mean,

Dan McCoy

[45:43] there was a good gag

[45:43] where he was like,

[45:44] looking through his telescope

[45:47] and Doolittle had said

[45:48] something about like,

[45:48] how he was chinless

[45:49] or something.

[45:51] and like,

[45:51] way up,

[45:51] way up.

[45:53] Yeah,

[45:53] that was,

[45:53] I,

[45:54] that was funny.

S4

[45:55] Yeah,

[45:55] that was funny.

[45:55] I think that there's a sort

[45:57] of a meta funniness

[45:59] to it as well

[46:00] because it's fair

[46:01] for the other characters

[46:02] to be like,

[46:03] why is there a fuss

[46:04] about this Doolittle guy?

[46:05] Downey is barely trying.

[46:07] Like,

[46:07] you know,

[46:07] like,

[46:08] you know,

[46:09] the performance is so baffling

[46:11] that it,

[46:11] like,

[46:11] I can under,

[46:12] like,

[46:12] Sheen should probably

[46:13] just be Dr. Doolittle.

[46:14] He'd be a good Dr. Doolittle.

Elliott Kalan

[46:15] He would have been

[46:16] a great Dr. Doolittle.

[46:17] Yeah.

[46:17] Like,

[46:18] he would have been

[46:18] a fantastic Dr. Doolittle.

[46:19] The fact that,

[46:20] that Robert Downey Jr.'s performance,

[46:23] it's not just,

[46:23] like,

[46:23] Doolittle's not just

[46:24] a reluctant hero.

[46:25] He's a reluctant,

[46:25] reluctant living being.

[46:28] Like,

[46:28] you expect,

[46:29] like,

[46:30] this guy didn't,

[46:31] didn't do,

[46:32] like,

[46:32] just stop breathing

[46:33] and see if,

[46:34] and pass out

[46:35] over and over again

[46:36] just to get away

[46:36] from day-to-day life.

[46:37] Like,

[46:37] he seems to hate

[46:38] just existing.

S4

[46:39] What I,

[46:40] that's where,

[46:40] the depth comparison

[46:41] makes sense too,

[46:42] I feel like both these stars

[46:43] became kind of

[46:44] almost hostile

[46:45] to their own charisma.

[46:46] They just got sick

[46:47] of their usual thing

[46:49] and were like,

[46:50] well,

[46:51] how about I just tie

[46:52] all my limbs

[46:53] behind my back

[46:53] and see if,

[46:54] you know,

[46:54] the movie's still a hit?

[46:55] Like,

[46:56] how anti-fun

[46:58] can I be?

Elliott Kalan

[46:59] Well,

[46:59] there must be something,

[47:01] it's similar to,

[47:02] yeah,

[47:03] when somebody is so,

[47:04] it becomes so effortless

[47:06] to be successful

[47:07] that you try to

[47:08] sabotage yourself

[47:08] to see what it is,

[47:10] or you're so worried.

Stuart Wellington

[47:11] I know all about that,

[47:12] Elliot.

S4

[47:13] I'm sure the studio

[47:15] is like,

[47:15] just do Iron Man,

[47:16] that'll be great,

[47:17] just be Tony Stark.

[47:17] and like,

[47:19] for whatever reason,

[47:20] obviously,

[47:20] he did not want to do that.

Elliott Kalan

[47:21] I mean,

[47:21] because he had just been

[47:22] Tony Stark in like,

[47:23] nine movies over two decades,

[47:25] so he's like,

[47:25] maybe I'll do it.

[47:26] And all that made him

S4

[47:26] was a billion dollars.

Dan McCoy

[47:28] The other thing

[47:29] about his performance,

[47:30] though,

[47:30] is like,

[47:31] just get a fucking English guy.

[47:33] Like,

[47:33] Robert Downey Jr.

[47:34] is great,

[47:35] but him trying to do

[47:36] a Welsh accent,

[47:38] like,

[47:38] this is,

[47:39] this is a little better

[47:41] than his terrible English accent

[47:42] in the Sherlock Holmes movies,

[47:44] but he's not a character guy

[47:47] in that way,

[47:47] I don't think,

[47:48] so why put that on him?

Elliott Kalan

[47:51] And I think Michael Sheen,

[47:53] is he Welsh?

[47:55] Yeah,

[47:56] he is.

[47:56] Yes,

[47:57] he is Welsh.

[47:57] So,

[47:57] you've got a Welsh guy

[47:58] who'd be really great at it

[47:59] right there,

[48:00] but Michael Sheen

[48:01] doesn't open big blockbusters,

[48:02] Dan,

[48:03] because without a big star,

[48:04] what do you have to convince kids

[48:05] to go see a movie

[48:06] about a doctor

[48:07] who talks to animals

[48:08] and goes on an amazing adventure

[48:09] with pirates?

[48:11] What possible reason

[48:13] would a kid want to see that for

[48:14] unless it has a big

[48:15] boffo box office name in it

[48:17] like Channing Tatum?

S4

[48:19] Like,

[48:20] are kids like,

[48:21] Downey Jr.'s in it?

[48:22] Okay,

[48:22] but who voices the polar bear?

[48:25] John Cena!

[48:25] All right,

Elliott Kalan

[48:26] let's go!

[48:27] Friday night!

[48:28] They're like,

[48:29] is anyone from the Big Sick in it?

Stuart Wellington

[48:32] Yeah.

[48:33] They're like,

[48:33] I'm real into alt comedy,

[48:35] is Jason Mantzoukas in this movie?

[48:38] Was Jason Mantzoukas

[48:39] clearly added

[48:40] very late in the game.

[48:43] Yeah,

[48:43] yeah,

[48:44] that feels like,

[48:45] didn't,

[48:46] I mean,

[48:46] I was just glancing

[48:47] through the trivia,

[48:48] didn't like Seth Rogen

[48:49] or somebody take a stab

[48:50] at a couple rewrites?

[48:51] And I feel like

[48:52] Jason Mantzoukas' part

[48:53] either got completely added

[48:55] or totally bulked out

[48:57] because,

[48:58] I mean,

[48:58] it's funny,

[48:59] but it doesn't add anything

[49:00] to the story of the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[49:02] I mean,

[49:02] he does wake up a tiger

[49:04] at one point.

[49:05] Oh,

[49:05] that's true.

[49:06] Now,

[49:06] speaking of,

[49:07] it's time for the side quest

[49:08] that involves Jason Mantzoukas

[49:10] because they can't just go

[49:11] straight to the Eden Tree.

[49:12] It's on an island

[49:13] that never exists

[49:14] that nobody has ever heard of

[49:15] because it's not real

[49:15] or whatever.

[49:16] They've got to go

[49:17] to Pirate Island

[49:18] to steal Lily's journal

[49:19] because that's the only place

[49:21] that says where the island is.

[49:23] This island,

[49:24] it's called,

[49:24] what,

[49:25] Monteverde,

[49:25] I think it's called,

[49:26] and it's run by

[49:27] King Antonio Banderas,

[49:28] whose character's name

[49:29] I don't remember,

[49:30] but he is Lily's father

[49:32] and so he's especially mad

[49:33] at Doolittle

[49:33] because he blames him

[49:35] for not being there

[49:36] when Lily died

[49:37] as if Doolittle

[49:38] would have been able

[49:39] to save her

[49:39] from the shipwreck.

[49:40] It's a little unclear

[49:41] why he thinks

[49:42] Doolittle should have been there

[49:43] at the time.

[49:44] Anyway,

[49:44] but he blames it.

Stuart Wellington

[49:45] Kids can tell that

[49:46] Antonio Banderas' character

[49:48] is going to be an evil king

[49:50] because he already has

[49:51] multiple statues

[49:52] celebrating himself

[49:53] before he's dead

[49:54] and that's never a good sign

[49:55] and kids are aware of that.

Elliott Kalan

[49:57] Yeah,

[49:57] kids,

[49:57] I mean,

[49:58] kids remember their Roman history

[49:59] and they were like,

[50:00] hmm,

[50:00] shades of Caligula perhaps

[50:02] as they nudge each other.

Stuart Wellington

[50:05] And then the tiger orgy happens

[50:07] and they all get it.

Elliott Kalan

[50:08] Yeah,

[50:08] and then they're like,

[50:09] oh,

[50:09] this guy's super cool.

[50:11] So they team up.

[50:13] Stubbins sneaks in

[50:13] with the help of some mafia ants

[50:15] and a heartsick dragonfly.

[50:17] But accidentally,

[50:19] they wake up

[50:19] the king and his lions.

[50:20] Oh,

[50:21] they're lions,

[50:21] not tigers.

[50:22] I'm sorry.

[50:22] It's a tiger later.

[50:24] And he wakes up

[50:25] and he locks them all

[50:26] in a dungeon.

[50:27] He lets Stubbins go,

[50:28] but he wants Doolittle

[50:29] to be eaten by a tiger

[50:30] named Barry.

[50:32] Meanwhile,

[50:33] Doolittle is being taunted

[50:34] by a criminal rabbit

[50:36] who is also in jail

[50:37] with an eyepatch.

[50:38] And it's one of those things

[50:39] wait,

[50:39] so is this rabbit

[50:41] like a rabbit that talks

[50:42] and is a criminal

[50:43] and commits crimes?

[50:44] Because the other animals

[50:45] don't have,

[50:45] like the other animals,

[50:46] the idea of locking them up

[50:47] in a jail cell

[50:48] seems crazy.

Dan McCoy

[50:49] What was his beef

[50:50] with Doolittle?

[50:51] He seemed to have

[50:52] a personal dislike.

[50:53] Which,

[50:53] the rabbit or the tiger?

[50:54] The rabbit.

[50:55] Well,

Elliott Kalan

[50:55] either one of them.

[50:57] I wasn't really clear.

[50:58] The tiger is a former patient

[50:59] of Doolittle's

[51:00] and for some reason

[51:01] Doolittle abandoned him

[51:02] and his feelings

[51:04] of never living up

[51:05] to his mother's

[51:06] expectations for him.

[51:07] That's the tiger.

[51:08] The rabbit just seems

[51:09] to be a jerk

[51:09] and the rabbit has the line

[51:10] that made me wish,

[51:12] made me glad my son

[51:13] didn't see the movie

[51:14] because it would have

[51:14] become his favorite line

[51:15] where the tiger walks in

[51:17] and the rabbit goes,

[51:17] oh,

[51:18] did Doolittle do a little doo-doo?

[51:20] I think you did do

[51:21] a little doo-doo.

[51:22] And I was like,

[51:23] oh boy,

Dan McCoy

[51:24] okay.

[51:24] I was,

[51:25] the thing was,

[51:26] I was actively appreciating

[51:27] the fact that

[51:28] this movie didn't seem

[51:30] to have any toilet humor

[51:31] for a long time

[51:32] and then it all came

[51:33] at once.

[51:35] It's backloaded.

Elliott Kalan

[51:36] Yeah,

[51:37] rushing out to you

[51:38] like a blocked up dragon

[51:39] suddenly releasing

[51:40] a huge gas fart

[51:41] right in your face.

[51:43] There is also,

[51:44] this is the part

[51:44] where,

[51:45] he's being attacked

[51:46] by this tiger.

[51:47] He tries a couple

[51:47] different funny

[51:48] ways to stop him

[51:49] but he can't.

[51:50] Chi-Chi the gorilla

[51:51] finally overcomes his fear

[51:52] and kicks Barry

[51:53] in what Barry refers to

[51:54] as his Barry Berries.

[51:56] And it's almost like

[51:57] at this point

[51:58] with doo-doo

[51:58] and Barry Berries,

[51:59] yeah,

[51:59] Dan,

[51:59] the movie just kind of like,

[52:01] is like,

[52:01] you know what,

[52:02] we're just doing

[52:03] the toilet humor.

[52:04] It's like the story

[52:04] Albert Brooks tells

[52:05] about opening for a band

[52:06] and not getting any laughs

[52:07] and he goes,

[52:08] so I did it.

[52:09] I said shit.

[52:10] And then the audience

[52:11] goes crazy

[52:12] because he starts swearing

[52:13] on stage

[52:13] and they love it.

[52:15] they steal Lily's journal

[52:18] but Mudfly takes it

[52:19] and he's like,

[52:20] yeah,

[52:20] I'm a bad guy.

[52:21] I'm gonna kill

[52:21] Queen Victoria.

[52:22] See ya.

[52:23] And they sink

[52:23] Doolittle's boat

[52:24] and the polar bear

[52:26] saves the ostrich

[52:27] thus cementing

[52:28] their friendship.

[52:29] A subplot that

[52:30] was not really set up

[52:31] too far ahead of time

[52:32] but it was set up

[52:33] a little bit

[52:34] that they were kind of

[52:35] prickly with each other

[52:36] but now they're best buds.

[52:39] Now,

[52:39] now,

Stuart Wellington

[52:40] why is Michael Sheen

[52:41] going to get

[52:42] the magical thing

[52:43] that can cure

[52:44] the Queen

[52:45] if he's just trying

[52:46] to kill the Queen?

Elliott Kalan

[52:47] to stop

[52:48] Robert Downey Jr.

[52:50] from getting it

[52:50] and maybe he's also

[52:51] going to be like,

[52:52] look,

[52:52] I made this discovery.

[52:53] I'm famous now.

[52:54] Alas,

[52:54] too late to save

[52:55] our beloved Queen.

Dan McCoy

[52:57] Well,

[52:57] but also,

[52:58] they try and explain it.

[53:00] They say that this

[53:02] island has all these

[53:04] unknown flora and fauna

[53:06] that because he's

[53:08] a scientist too,

[53:09] he will get

[53:10] all the glory

[53:11] of studying it,

[53:13] I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[53:14] I wish they had

[53:15] gone even farther

[53:16] and made Charles Darwin

[53:18] the villain of the movie.

[53:19] And Martin Sheen

[53:21] was playing,

[53:22] was playing,

[53:23] not Martin Sheen,

[53:23] or maybe Martin Sheen

[53:24] was playing Charles Darwin

[53:26] and it was like,

[53:28] no,

[53:28] if animals can talk

[53:29] to humans,

[53:30] it throws my whole

[53:31] theory of evolution

[53:32] and natural selection

[53:32] out the window.

[53:33] I have to defeat

[53:34] Dr. Doolittle.

[53:35] Like,

[53:35] that would be very funny

[53:36] to me.

[53:37] And so he has to go

[53:38] and he's going to make

[53:38] this big scoop.

[53:39] It's going to be

[53:40] a second Galapagos,

[53:41] this magic island.

[53:43] Oh,

[53:44] I'll call it

[53:44] On the Origin of the Species 2,

[53:47] the re-origining.

[53:48] Okay, guys,

[53:48] I think we have

[53:49] Dr. Doolittle 2

[53:50] already ready in the can.

[53:53] So,

[53:53] Dr. Doolittle's

[53:54] ready to give up,

[53:55] but the pirate king,

[53:56] he says,

[53:57] hey, look,

[53:57] we both miss my daughter,

[53:59] so you need to keep going

[54:00] and he gives them

[54:00] a ratty old pirate ship.

[54:02] They use whales

[54:03] to track Dr. Mudfly

[54:04] to eat an island

[54:05] and they finally get there

[54:06] and the soldiers

[54:07] that are with Mudfly

[54:08] capture them

[54:09] and Mudfly's like,

[54:10] hey, hey, hey,

[54:10] I finally beat you.

[54:11] I guess not everything

[54:12] comes easy to Dr. Doolittle.

[54:14] Again,

[54:14] as I mentioned earlier,

[54:15] forgetting that Dr. Doolittle

[54:16] is a depressed widower

[54:17] has lost the single most important thing

[54:20] to him in the universe.

[54:22] Basically has no will

[54:23] to do anything whatsoever.

[54:25] Who would have been a hermit

Stuart Wellington

[54:26] if not for their plot

[54:28] to kill the queen.

[54:29] Yeah,

[54:29] he's just scraping by

[54:31] at this point.

[54:31] He almost got eaten

[54:32] by a tiger.

Elliott Kalan

[54:34] It's like,

[54:35] it's like,

[54:35] I imagine somebody being like,

[54:38] hating Franklin Delano Roosevelt

[54:39] and being like,

[54:40] see what it's like

[54:41] to not be the golden boy

[54:42] who gets everything

[54:43] and Roosevelt being like,

[54:44] I can't walk.

[54:45] Like,

[54:45] look at me, dude.

[54:46] Like,

[54:46] I'm in a wheelchair.

[54:47] Did you forget about that?

[54:49] But then,

[54:51] uh-oh,

[54:51] there's a guardian

[54:52] for the Eden tree.

[54:53] It's a dragon.

[54:54] That's right, everybody.

[54:55] Someone mentioned dragons

[54:56] offhandedly

[54:57] once earlier in the movie.

[54:58] That was all

[54:59] the foreshadowing he needed.

[55:00] Dragons.

[55:01] The dragon scares the soldier away

[55:03] and Doolittle

[55:03] instantly picks up

[55:04] dragon language

[55:05] because he's just that good.

[55:07] They bond over

[55:08] having both lost

[55:09] their spouses

[55:09] because in this world

[55:11] even mythological creatures

[55:12] have a certain amount

[55:13] of trauma

[55:13] and survivor's guilt.

[55:14] Yes,

Dan McCoy

[55:15] this was exactly

[55:15] the end of

[55:16] Batman v Superman

[55:19] basically

[55:20] where they're both like,

[55:20] your mom was Martha?

[55:22] My mom was Martha?

Stuart Wellington

[55:23] We're both widows?

[55:24] Widows or widowers?

[55:26] He manages-

[55:27] And the dragon eats

[55:28] one of the British soldiers

[55:29] which I think is

[55:30] kind of a stirring commentary

[55:31] on anti-colonialism.

S4

[55:34] And yeah,

[55:34] it apparently has a lot

[55:35] of the Spanish army

[55:37] digested in her belly.

[55:38] There's a whole-

[55:39] There's all these axes

[55:40] and helmets

[55:40] getting pulled out of her.

Elliott Kalan

[55:42] The dragon, yeah,

[55:43] has devoured a lot of Spanish

[55:44] and now at least

[55:45] one British soldier.

[55:47] And dragons,

[55:48] we learn,

[55:49] like snakes,

[55:49] just swallow up

[55:50] the whole thing whole

[55:51] and digest what they can from it

[55:53] because,

[55:54] guys,

[55:55] it's time for the apex

[55:56] of the fart humor.

[55:58] This dragon

[55:59] has a blockage

[56:00] in its rectum

[56:01] and Dr. Doolittle,

[56:02] using only a leak

[56:03] because he's Welsh,

[56:05] will have to release it.

[56:07] And so he manages

[56:08] to remove all this armor,

[56:09] thus freeing

[56:10] an enormous fart

[56:11] that hits him

[56:12] square in the face

[56:13] and every character

[56:14] seems to get their line

[56:15] where they talk about

[56:15] how smelly it is.

[56:16] And it was like,

[56:17] I get it.

[56:17] Just pick one.

[56:18] Just have one character comment.

Dan McCoy

[56:20] I will make

[56:21] a not full-throated

[56:23] defense of this fart joke

[56:24] because I hate fart jokes.

[56:25] Go on.

[56:26] Well, I don't hate fart jokes.

[56:27] I don't think they're necessary

[56:28] in a movie like this.

[56:29] Dan, do you think

Elliott Kalan

[56:30] your throat should be

[56:31] the part,

[56:31] the orifice you're using

[56:32] to defend this

[56:33] or the passage in your body

[56:35] to defend this fart joke?

Dan McCoy

[56:35] Let me position my butt

[56:37] to the microphone.

[56:39] No, I,

[56:40] the one thing I like

[56:41] about this fart joke.

[56:42] Dan's butt sounds

Elliott Kalan

[56:42] just like his regular voice.

[56:44] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[56:45] The one thing I liked

[56:46] about this fart joke

[56:47] is how,

[56:48] matter of fact,

[56:49] everyone was

[56:49] after the fart joke.

[56:51] They were like,

[56:52] they were all like,

[56:54] oh, you know,

[56:54] it happens to everyone,

[56:55] nothing to be ashamed of.

[56:57] Like,

[56:57] everyone was like

[56:58] trying to make the dragon

[56:59] feel better about the giant fart.

[57:00] I'm like,

[57:00] oh, that's kind of,

[57:02] kind of sweet.

[57:02] So there's a little

[57:03] everybody poops

[57:04] sort of reaction to this.

Elliott Kalan

[57:06] Yeah, I mean,

[57:06] it's a real,

[57:07] it's a real strong tolerance

[57:09] and anti-bigotry message

[57:10] that we all fart.

[57:11] So are we really

[57:12] that different after all?

[57:13] Even murderous dragons

[57:14] who devour humans whole.

[57:17] Well, protecting some kind

[57:18] of quasi-mystical thing,

[57:21] fruit,

[57:21] because then she says,

[57:22] hey,

[57:23] you have proven to me

[57:24] by helping me,

[57:25] both psychologically

[57:26] and anally,

[57:27] that you deserve

[57:28] this Eden fruit.

[57:30] And so they have

[57:30] the Eden fruit.

[57:31] They finally get there

[57:32] to Buckingham Palace

[57:33] just in time.

[57:33] The queen is just

[57:34] on her deathbed.

[57:35] Her life meter above her head

[57:36] is just blinking

[57:37] that last bar

[57:38] as it disappears.

S4

[57:40] The sonic music is playing.

Dan McCoy

[57:43] That's where she's at.

[57:45] Yeah.

[57:45] And Jim Broadbent

[57:46] has literally declared

[57:47] her dead at this point, too.

Elliott Kalan

[57:49] Yeah.

[57:50] I mean,

[57:50] he jumped the gun

[57:51] a little bit on that one,

[57:52] but he had his reasons.

[57:53] The bad guy,

[57:54] Jim Broadbent,

[57:54] he tries to have them arrested,

[57:56] but the animals

[57:56] clear a path for Stubbins,

[57:58] who manages to, like,

[57:59] slide through someone's legs

[58:00] and catch the Eden fruit

[58:01] and squeeze a drop

[58:02] to her lips.

[58:03] I would have just smashed

[58:04] the whole thing

[58:05] into her mouth.

[58:06] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[58:06] You would have spiked it.

[58:08] He decides to hope

[58:09] that this one drop

[58:10] makes it to her lips,

[58:11] but it does.

[58:12] She revives.

[58:13] And a stick insect,

[58:15] who Dr. Dolittle,

[58:16] left on a painting there

[58:17] days before,

[58:19] rats out the Chamberlain.

[58:20] And the Chamberlain

[58:21] does the classic

[58:22] bad guy thing

[58:22] of once he realizes

[58:24] they've got him

[58:24] dead to rights,

[58:25] instead of continuing

[58:26] to deny it,

[58:27] he pulls out a knife

[58:27] and tries to fight

[58:28] his way out,

[58:29] which is the guiltiest

[58:30] thing you can do.

[58:31] He's caught by the...

[58:32] Because instead of being like,

[58:34] well, I'm the Chamberlain

[58:34] of London,

[58:35] and that's a stick insect

[58:37] that you say is talking,

[58:38] none of us can hear it.

[58:40] Like, I don't know

[58:40] if it's going to hold up

[58:41] in a court of law,

[58:42] you interpreting

[58:42] for a stick insect.

Stuart Wellington

[58:44] And how can you

[58:45] trust this stick insect?

[58:46] All it did was sit around

[58:47] on a painting all day?

[58:49] Like, what a boring thing.

Elliott Kalan

[58:51] I wish it went to trial

[58:52] and he was like,

[58:53] ladies and gentlemen

[58:54] of the jury,

[58:55] can we trust an insect

[58:56] that's already trying

[58:57] to deceive us

[58:58] into thinking it's a stick?

[58:59] I rest my case.

[59:01] Your witness.

[59:02] And do little...

[59:03] If Brogdon had kept

[59:03] his cool,

[59:04] he might have gotten

[59:05] away with it.

[59:05] Yeah, the prosecutor

[59:06] for the state is like,

[59:07] he just eviscerated our case.

[59:08] We've got nothing now.

S4

[59:11] Shit, our lead witness

[59:12] is a bug.

[59:13] Who came up with this?

Elliott Kalan

[59:17] Okay, let me bring in

[59:19] the next witness.

[59:20] He got stepped on.

[59:21] What?

Dan McCoy

[59:22] Yeah.

[59:22] At worst,

[59:24] they would cut a deal

[59:26] with the prosecutor

[59:27] in this situation.

Elliott Kalan

[59:29] But the idea that

[59:30] everyone's like,

[59:30] yeah, yeah,

[59:31] do little says this bug

[59:32] said that thing.

[59:32] I guess he got him.

[59:34] Do little takes on Stubbins

[59:35] as an apprentice

[59:36] and he reopens his home

[59:38] as a pet hospital

[59:39] and also leaves the movie

[59:41] open for a sequel.

[59:43] During the credits,

[59:43] we see paintings

[59:44] that seem to depict

[59:45] do little and some

[59:46] of the animals

[59:47] being knighted

[59:47] by the queen.

[59:48] So there's a sir

[59:49] do little and a lady

[59:51] dab dab, I guess.

[59:53] And there's a mid credit

[59:54] scene that did not go

[59:56] the way I thought it was

[59:56] where Dr.

[59:58] Mudfly is still alive

[59:59] in the cave.

[1:00:00] And it seems like

[1:00:01] it seems like he's

[1:00:02] picked up the language

[1:00:03] of the bats in the cave.

[1:00:04] And it was like,

[1:00:05] oh, so he's going to

[1:00:06] come back in the sequel

[1:00:07] as a bad guy who talks

[1:00:08] to mean, like evil,

[1:00:09] sinister animals.

[1:00:10] But then the bats,

[1:00:11] it's implied, I guess,

[1:00:11] eat him.

[1:00:13] Well, they turn him

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:14] into Morbius,

[1:00:15] the living vampire.

[1:00:17] I guess so.

[1:00:17] They swarm all over

[1:00:18] and then he's gone.

[1:00:18] It's a terrifying image.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:19] They like cover him.

[1:00:20] The swarm of bats

[1:00:21] in this children's film.

[1:00:23] Yeah, presumably

[1:00:24] they eat him to the bone.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:27] And that's the end of it.

[1:00:29] And I guess we'll never

[1:00:30] find out what happened

[1:00:31] to Dr. Mudfly

[1:00:31] because I don't think

[1:00:32] there's going to be

[1:00:33] a Doolittle 2

[1:00:34] or Too Little,

[1:00:35] I guess is what

[1:00:35] they would call it.

[1:00:36] No, yeah.

S4

[1:00:36] I think this movie

[1:00:37] lost about $100 million.

[1:00:39] I don't think anyone's

[1:00:40] getting any sequels.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:42] I expected a mid-credit

[1:00:43] sequence where we find

[1:00:45] that his wife is still alive,

[1:00:47] just shipwrecked somewhere.

[1:00:49] And I would have been

[1:00:51] willing to even lay a bat on it.

[1:00:52] But instead we get

[1:00:53] death by bat.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:55] Yeah.

[1:00:55] I was hoping, yeah,

[1:00:57] that she was going to

[1:00:57] walk out onto a beach

[1:00:58] and be like,

[1:00:59] it's going to be carnage.

[1:01:01] And we're like,

[1:01:02] oh shit.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:04] That would make more sense

[1:01:05] if you knew the comics already.

[1:01:08] That would make

[1:01:08] a lot more sense.

[1:01:09] And also why Woody Harrelson

[1:01:10] is wearing that crazy

[1:01:11] Wendy's from Wendy.

[1:01:12] Wendy from Wendy's wig.

[1:01:14] Raggedy Ann wig.

[1:01:16] It is so goofy to me

[1:01:20] to talk about Venom

[1:01:21] for a moment.

[1:01:22] This is a movie

[1:01:23] that has already decided

[1:01:24] that Venom,

[1:01:25] a character whose sole existence

[1:01:26] is to get revenge

[1:01:27] on Spider-Man,

[1:01:28] does not need Spider-Man

[1:01:29] in his story,

[1:01:30] but Carnage does need

[1:01:31] to have cruelly red hair

[1:01:32] because that's what it's like

[1:01:33] in the comics.

[1:01:35] Even though he's played

[1:01:36] by a famously bald actor.

[1:01:38] Like it's...

[1:01:40] Comics movies

[1:01:41] are done that way.

[1:01:42] So do little.

[1:01:42] Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:01:43] Let's do our next segment

[1:01:45] that ties up

[1:01:46] the movie talk

[1:01:47] about do little.

[1:01:49] And that is to decide

[1:01:50] final judgments

[1:01:51] whether it's a good bad movie,

[1:01:52] a bad bad movie,

[1:01:53] or a movie kind of like...

[1:01:55] Guys,

[1:01:56] I'm not going to say

[1:01:57] it's a movie kind of like,

[1:01:58] but here's the thing.

[1:01:59] I come down

[1:02:01] where Elliot is

[1:02:02] where he's like,

[1:02:03] I thought this was going

[1:02:04] to be a fiasco.

[1:02:05] And I was like,

[1:02:06] you know what?

[1:02:07] Whatever.

[1:02:08] Like,

[1:02:08] here's the thing.

[1:02:09] I think

[1:02:10] I think that this movie

[1:02:12] is not...

[1:02:13] has a lot of problems,

[1:02:14] but it would not have been

[1:02:16] viewed as such a huge fiasco

[1:02:17] if it wasn't the movie

[1:02:19] that Robert Downey Jr.

[1:02:20] decided to make

[1:02:21] directly after

[1:02:22] his hugely successful run

[1:02:25] as Iron Man,

[1:02:26] Tony Stark.

[1:02:27] Like,

[1:02:28] it has problems,

[1:02:31] but it's making a stab

[1:02:34] at a kind of,

[1:02:35] like,

[1:02:36] high adventure

[1:02:37] children's thing

[1:02:39] that I like

[1:02:40] in general.

[1:02:42] Like,

[1:02:42] it doesn't have,

[1:02:43] like,

[1:02:43] the pop culture

[1:02:44] a minute references

[1:02:46] of a Sonic,

[1:02:47] and I kind of

[1:02:48] appreciate it for that.

[1:02:49] Like,

[1:02:50] if this movie

[1:02:50] was basically

[1:02:52] the same movie,

[1:02:53] but they made it

[1:02:54] animated,

[1:02:56] you know,

[1:02:57] pretty good.

[1:02:58] I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:00] I mean,

[1:03:00] I know,

[1:03:00] I kind of feel the same way,

[1:03:01] and I know that there's movies

[1:03:02] that I really liked as a kid

[1:03:04] that are no better

[1:03:05] than this movie,

[1:03:07] like,

[1:03:07] and there are movies

[1:03:08] that people I know

[1:03:09] liked a lot from

[1:03:10] when we were kids,

[1:03:11] Goonies,

[1:03:12] that I think is,

[1:03:13] this is a better movie

[1:03:14] than,

[1:03:15] come at me

[1:03:16] and hate me

[1:03:16] on the internet,

[1:03:16] guys,

[1:03:17] I think it's a better movie

[1:03:17] than Goonies,

[1:03:18] but I think it's,

[1:03:19] I think,

[1:03:21] the movie,

[1:03:21] I don't know,

[1:03:23] I don't know,

[1:03:23] actually,

[1:03:23] I'm curious,

[1:03:24] David,

[1:03:24] to hear what you're saying,

[1:03:25] your experience

[1:03:25] in the theater

[1:03:26] was different,

[1:03:26] that you felt kind of

[1:03:27] trapped with it.

S4

[1:03:27] Your experience in the theater,

[1:03:28] it's,

[1:03:30] I will just,

[1:03:31] as I was saying,

[1:03:32] like,

[1:03:32] there's a lot of hasty editing

[1:03:34] and sort of strain,

[1:03:35] you know,

[1:03:36] cuts to the animals,

[1:03:37] like,

[1:03:37] singles on the animals

[1:03:38] that are just sort of

[1:03:39] saying a joke

[1:03:39] that just suggests,

[1:03:40] like,

[1:03:41] whatever the initial concept

[1:03:43] was here,

[1:03:43] it's lost,

[1:03:44] like,

[1:03:44] so,

[1:03:45] there's instead,

[1:03:45] like,

[1:03:45] sort of several steps,

[1:03:47] there's the,

[1:03:48] you know,

[1:03:48] dark,

[1:03:49] you know,

[1:03:50] he's a sad,

[1:03:51] depressed guy,

[1:03:51] and his animals

[1:03:52] are sort of depressed too,

[1:03:53] and they all need to figure out

[1:03:54] how to weather emotional pain together,

[1:03:55] there's that through line,

[1:03:56] but then there's also

[1:03:58] the ripping,

[1:03:59] high seas,

[1:03:59] adventure,

[1:04:00] kids movie,

Dan McCoy

[1:04:02] and then there's

[1:04:03] the sort of,

S4

[1:04:04] well,

[1:04:05] we got in a bunch of celebs

[1:04:06] to say funny stuff,

[1:04:07] like,

[1:04:07] it just feels like

[1:04:08] there's a studio movie,

[1:04:09] there's the original

[1:04:10] director's movie,

[1:04:10] and then there's the sort of,

[1:04:11] like,

[1:04:12] salvage job,

[1:04:13] okay Robert Downey Jr. movie,

[1:04:17] and,

[1:04:18] I would take any of them

[1:04:20] and call it just a regular

[1:04:22] old bad movie

[1:04:23] that is perfectly entertaining

[1:04:25] for kids,

[1:04:26] putting them all together

[1:04:27] makes,

[1:04:27] makes it feel pretty,

[1:04:29] like,

[1:04:29] wince-inducing,

[1:04:29] but I,

[1:04:30] I know what you guys are saying,

[1:04:32] the Downey,

[1:04:33] the Downey thing really hurt it,

[1:04:35] like,

[1:04:35] the sort of,

[1:04:36] like,

[1:04:36] oh,

[1:04:36] people were sort of waiting,

[1:04:38] you know,

[1:04:38] they were smelling blood,

[1:04:39] they wanted a bomb

[1:04:40] just to ding him with.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:42] Yeah,

[1:04:42] I kept seeing in reviews,

[1:04:43] that point that Dan was saying

[1:04:45] that,

[1:04:45] like,

[1:04:45] this is the movie

[1:04:47] decided to make,

[1:04:48] as if he owed it to the world

[1:04:50] to make,

[1:04:52] he owed it to each individual

[1:04:53] reviewer to make the movie

[1:04:54] they wanted to see him make,

[1:04:56] whereas,

[1:04:56] like,

[1:04:56] I don't know,

[1:04:57] maybe he's always loved

[1:04:57] the Dr. Doolittle stories,

[1:04:58] or maybe he was,

[1:04:59] like,

[1:05:00] like,

[1:05:00] he was,

[1:05:00] I think his company,

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:02] what was that movie made?

[1:05:03] The what?

[1:05:03] The rural juror,

[1:05:04] whatever,

[1:05:04] the judge?

[1:05:05] The judge.

[1:05:06] Oh,

[1:05:06] the judge.

[1:05:07] Yeah,

[1:05:07] people want more of the judge.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:09] Well,

[1:05:09] I mean,

[1:05:10] just,

[1:05:10] just that,

[1:05:11] like,

[1:05:11] but it was,

[1:05:12] it was one of those movies

[1:05:14] where,

[1:05:14] I was,

[1:05:15] I was just expecting,

[1:05:16] I was like,

[1:05:16] this,

[1:05:17] I mean,

[1:05:17] the trailers for it

[1:05:18] made it look like an,

[1:05:20] even more of a mishmash

[1:05:20] than the movie was,

[1:05:21] because the trailers were done up

[1:05:22] as if it was like a big,

[1:05:24] dramatic adventure movie,

[1:05:25] but then you'd have

[1:05:26] the quips from the animals,

[1:05:27] but with dramatic music over them,

[1:05:30] so it was like,

[1:05:30] who's made this trailer?

[1:05:31] What's going on?

[1:05:32] But,

[1:05:32] I found myself,

[1:05:34] like,

[1:05:34] kind of thinking it was going to be

[1:05:36] more of a disaster than it was.

[1:05:37] Stu,

[1:05:38] you're the,

[1:05:38] you're the tie-breaking vote here

[1:05:40] since,

[1:05:40] since David gets three votes.

[1:05:41] Well,

[1:05:41] that's not technically correct.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:42] Okay.

[1:05:44] Because,

[1:05:44] yeah,

[1:05:45] it's two to one right now.

[1:05:45] I'm going to be on Team David here.

[1:05:47] I will give this movie a B minus,

[1:05:50] that's right,

[1:05:51] not enough Tony Banderas.

[1:05:54] A B minus still seems really generous.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:57] No,

[1:05:57] that's a very generous grade,

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:58] yeah.

[1:05:58] I'm just joking.

[1:05:59] No,

[1:06:00] I didn't like this movie at all.

[1:06:02] Worse than Sonic the Hedgehog,

[1:06:04] Rave Stewart.

[1:06:05] Yeah,

[1:06:05] it's,

[1:06:05] I mean,

[1:06:05] it's sloppy and,

[1:06:07] like,

[1:06:08] it,

[1:06:08] yeah,

[1:06:09] it doesn't,

[1:06:09] like,

[1:06:10] it doesn't even seem to care

[1:06:11] that it's on there,

[1:06:12] on the screen.

[1:06:13] It's,

[1:06:13] you know,

[1:06:13] it's barely a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:14] if you had this movie

[1:06:16] and you put Jim Carrey's performance

[1:06:17] from Sonic the Hedgehog in it

[1:06:18] as Dr. Doolittle,

[1:06:20] you would have,

[1:06:20] I'd be like,

[1:06:21] sure,

[1:06:21] yeah,

[1:06:22] I'll let my kids watch that

[1:06:22] any day of the week.

[1:06:23] Sure,

[1:06:23] that's fine.

S4

[1:06:24] It would at least have a sort of

[1:06:26] consistently manic energy in that,

[1:06:28] you know,

[1:06:28] there's two things that I found

[1:06:30] sort of googling around this.

[1:06:31] One,

[1:06:32] Robert Downey Jr.

[1:06:32] decided to be Welsh

[1:06:33] because of the famous Welsh,

[1:06:36] like,

[1:06:36] neo-Druidic doctor guy

[1:06:38] from the Victorian era,

[1:06:39] William Price,

[1:06:40] is someone that Robert Downey Jr.

[1:06:42] thinks is a cool dude,

[1:06:43] I guess,

[1:06:44] or is fascinating.

[1:06:45] So he's like,

[1:06:46] that'll be my vibe.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:47] It's like an actual Dr. Doolittle,

[1:06:48] right?

[1:06:48] Right,

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:49] right.

[1:06:50] And like,

[1:06:50] that's a funny idea.

[1:06:51] who again did a lot of stuff.

[1:06:52] The name is not a good name.

[1:06:53] But anyway,

[1:06:54] yeah,

[1:06:54] you're saying,

[1:06:54] good.

S4

[1:06:55] It's a funny idea,

[1:06:56] but not for this movie.

[1:06:58] Like,

[1:06:58] not,

[1:06:58] you know,

[1:06:59] it feels like he just had

[1:07:00] sort of a fun idea

[1:07:01] that relate,

[1:07:02] does not relate to a movie

[1:07:03] about a farting dragon.

[1:07:05] But then,

[1:07:06] the Hollywood reporter-

[1:07:06] I mean,

[1:07:06] I think it's a little unfair

[1:07:07] to call it a movie

[1:07:08] about a farting dragon.

[1:07:09] The farting dragon

[1:07:09] is in one sequence.

[1:07:10] The Hollywood reporter

[1:07:12] sort of,

[1:07:12] quote unquote,

[1:07:13] expose about like,

[1:07:14] what went wrong with Doolittle

[1:07:15] said that Downey met up

[1:07:18] with the guy

[1:07:18] who was rewriting it,

[1:07:19] tore up the script's pages

[1:07:21] dramatically,

[1:07:21] said,

[1:07:22] I have some new ideas

[1:07:23] with a twinkle in his eye

[1:07:25] and proposed

[1:07:26] the farting dragon conclusion.

[1:07:28] So,

[1:07:29] I don't know what to believe.

[1:07:31] Like,

[1:07:31] did he want to make

[1:07:31] a weird Welsh doctor biopic

[1:07:33] or did he want to make

[1:07:34] a farting dragon movie?

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:37] I mean,

[1:07:37] maybe he wasn't,

[1:07:38] maybe he wasn't sure himself.

[1:07:40] You know?

[1:07:40] This movie is a little

S4

[1:07:42] unsure of itself,

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:43] I would say.

[1:07:43] Oh,

[1:07:43] to be a stick bug

[1:07:44] on the wall

[1:07:45] of that conversation.

[1:07:46] Yeah,

[1:07:47] I would assume-

[1:07:47] You need Robert Downey Jr.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:48] to translate

[1:07:49] and you'd be like,

[1:07:50] well,

[1:07:50] you could just be saying this,

[1:07:51] Robert Downey Jr.

[1:07:52] Like,

[1:07:52] I don't know if the stick bug

[1:07:53] really thinks that.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:54] I mean,

[1:07:55] this is just a guess

[1:07:56] on my part,

[1:07:56] but I would assume

[1:07:57] that like,

[1:07:58] yeah,

[1:07:59] the goofier shit

[1:08:00] in this movie

[1:08:00] was the stuff

[1:08:01] that was,

[1:08:02] quote unquote,

[1:08:03] trying to save it.

[1:08:04] Right,

[1:08:05] I think there was-

[1:08:05] And the original movie-

S4

[1:08:07] Right,

[1:08:07] was dark.

[1:08:07] There was a fear like,

[1:08:08] uh oh,

[1:08:09] this isn't gonna be

[1:08:10] a kid's movie that plays.

[1:08:11] We need to juice up the jokes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:13] That makes sense,

[1:08:13] but I still like,

[1:08:15] it could have-

[1:08:15] I mean,

[1:08:15] I had-

[1:08:16] I,

[1:08:16] if anything,

[1:08:17] now I'm like,

[1:08:18] it doesn't fully work

[1:08:19] at the end of the day,

[1:08:20] but I like,

[1:08:20] give them credit

[1:08:21] for trying to kid it up

[1:08:22] and lighten it up

[1:08:23] so that we didn't get

[1:08:24] a super dour

[1:08:26] Doolittle movie

[1:08:27] where like,

[1:08:28] his-

[1:08:30] I'm trying to think

[1:08:30] what else would happen in it,

[1:08:32] he has to murder someone

[1:08:33] at the end,

[1:08:34] or-

[1:08:34] With a pillow?

[1:08:35] He just puts a pillow

[1:08:36] over Queen Victoria's face

S4

[1:08:37] and cries and says,

[1:08:39] I'm sorry?

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:41] Yeah,

[1:08:41] I mean-

[1:08:41] Where he like,

[1:08:42] turns his back on humanity

[1:08:43] and the last you see of him

[1:08:44] is just naked wandering

[1:08:45] into a jungle

[1:08:46] to be with the animals?

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:48] I mean,

[1:08:49] I'm-

[1:08:49] so much of it felt like

[1:08:50] the-

[1:08:52] most likely came on set,

[1:08:54] he had this very low energy

[1:08:56] kind of weird character

[1:08:57] that he had dreamt up

[1:08:58] and nobody want-

[1:09:00] like,

[1:09:00] could talk him out of it

[1:09:01] and they're just like,

[1:09:02] oh,

[1:09:03] fuck it,

[1:09:03] okay,

[1:09:03] let's just get this shot.

[1:09:04] You can't say no.

[1:09:05] Right.

[1:09:05] Like,

[1:09:05] we'll shoot it

[1:09:06] and then we'll fix it.

S4

[1:09:08] Yeah.

[1:09:08] That combined with

[1:09:09] Steven Gagin being like,

[1:09:10] yeah,

[1:09:10] we can do an emotional

[1:09:11] $200 million movie

[1:09:12] and because he had

[1:09:14] Downey's backing,

[1:09:15] he was allowed to

[1:09:16] with that caveat of like,

[1:09:18] well,

[1:09:18] you know what,

[1:09:19] we'll just do reshoots.

[1:09:20] Like,

[1:09:20] if it doesn't work,

[1:09:21] we'll just do reshoots.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:22] I mean,

[1:09:22] you can do a huge emotional

[1:09:24] blockbuster movie

[1:09:25] with Robert Downey Jr.

[1:09:26] in it.

[1:09:26] It's called Avengers Endgame.

[1:09:28] Boom.

[1:09:29] In theaters now.

[1:09:29] Oh,

[1:09:29] actually it's not in theaters now.

[1:09:31] It's been out of theaters

[1:09:32] for a while,

[1:09:32] I guess.

[1:09:33] And also theaters

S4

[1:09:34] are largely closed.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:36] Don't go to theaters

[1:09:37] right now.

[1:09:37] Go again when it's time,

[1:09:38] when things have opened up.

[1:09:40] I guess what I'm saying is

[1:09:41] don't go.

[1:09:44] What are you,

[1:09:44] what you're saying is,

[1:09:46] what you're saying is,

S4

[1:09:46] wasn't it nice

[1:09:48] when Avengers Endgame

[1:09:49] was out

[1:09:49] and there was no pandemic

[1:09:50] and we went to see movies

[1:09:52] and Robert Downey Jr.

[1:09:53] was in them

[1:09:53] and they were nice.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:54] Back when he could do no wrong.

[1:09:58] So I guess,

[1:09:58] Dan,

[1:09:59] does this fit into our rubric

[1:10:00] at all?

[1:10:00] Should we try to give it ratings?

[1:10:01] Because mine is also some,

[1:10:02] I wouldn't quite call it a movie

[1:10:04] I kind of liked,

[1:10:04] but I don't,

[1:10:05] I don't think it's good,

[1:10:06] bad or bad,

[1:10:06] bad.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:07] Yeah,

[1:10:07] same here.

[1:10:08] But these guys think it's bad,

[1:10:09] bad.

[1:10:10] That's fine.

[1:10:10] I think the bad,

[1:10:11] bads have it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:13] I don't know about that.

[1:10:14] I mean,

[1:10:14] I would know,

[1:10:15] that's right,

[1:10:15] David gets extra votes.

[1:10:16] Yeah.

S4

[1:10:21] Hey Max Funsters,

[1:10:23] it's Jesse Thorne.

[1:10:25] This week on my public radio interview show,

[1:10:27] Bullseye,

[1:10:27] I'm talking with Tina Fey

[1:10:29] and Robert Carlock

[1:10:30] about creating

[1:10:31] Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,

[1:10:32] 30 Rock,

[1:10:33] and also just kind of

[1:10:34] why they're the best at everything.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:36] There was a window of time

[1:10:37] when we would just go

[1:10:38] to awards things

[1:10:40] and pick up our prizes

[1:10:41] and party with the people

[1:10:42] from Mad Men.

S4

[1:10:43] You can find Bullseye

[1:10:44] at MaximumFun.org

[1:10:46] or wherever you listen

[1:10:48] to podcasts.

[1:10:49] Just search for

[1:10:50] Bullseye with Jesse Thorne.

[1:10:59] Alright, Adam,

[1:11:01] Maximum Fun wants us

[1:11:02] to record like a promo

[1:11:03] to tell people

[1:11:04] that they should listen

[1:11:05] to The Greatest Generation.

[1:11:06] You want to do that?

S6

[1:11:07] No,

[1:11:07] I am tired of all the extra work.

[1:11:09] I just wanted to talk about

[1:11:10] Star Trek with my friend.

S4

[1:11:11] I think it would be good

[1:11:13] to like try and get

[1:11:13] some new listeners

[1:11:14] by appealing to the audiences

[1:11:15] of other shows.

[1:11:16] Like this will only take

[1:11:17] a minute or two.

[1:11:18] It could be good for us.

S6

[1:11:19] We sit down for an hour

[1:11:20] if we can talk about

[1:11:21] a Star Trek episode

[1:11:22] and make a bunch of

[1:11:22] idiotic fart jokes about it.

[1:11:24] It's embarrassing.

[1:11:25] If it got out

[1:11:26] that we made this show,

[1:11:27] I think it would make us

[1:11:28] unemployable.

S4

[1:11:29] Adam,

[1:11:29] I have bad news for you.

[1:11:30] We have tens of thousands

[1:11:31] of listeners

[1:11:32] at MaximumFun.org.

[1:11:34] Oh my god.

[1:11:35] I think I'm going to throw up.

[1:11:37] The Greatest Generation,

[1:11:38] a Star Trek podcast

[1:11:39] by a couple of guys

[1:11:40] who are a little bit embarrassed

[1:11:41] to have a Star Trek podcast.

[1:11:42] Every Monday,

[1:11:43] on MaximumFun.org.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:45] I'm really going to be sick.

[1:11:46] The Flophouse is sponsored

[1:11:48] in part by Squarespace,

[1:11:51] the service that allows you

[1:11:53] to turn your cool idea

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[1:12:29] when you're ready to launch,

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[1:12:32] to save 10% off

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[1:12:35] of a website

[1:12:36] or domain.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:39] Dan,

[1:12:40] just very briefly,

[1:12:40] I had a website

[1:12:41] I was actually wondering

[1:12:42] if Squarespace

[1:12:42] would be able to help me with.

[1:12:45] Sure.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:46] Ask away.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:47] I was inspired by this movie.

[1:12:48] I have an idea for a website.

[1:12:50] It's called

[1:12:50] www.doles.com.

[1:12:52] The only website

[1:12:53] that will match you up

[1:12:54] with an animal

[1:12:55] that will do your chores

[1:12:56] for you

[1:12:57] so you don't have to do as much.

[1:12:58] Look,

[1:12:59] we are all doing too much

[1:13:00] these days.

[1:13:00] I know I'm taking

[1:13:01] two kids,

[1:13:02] holding down a job

[1:13:03] and trying to finish

[1:13:04] a jigsaw puzzle.

[1:13:05] It is a nightmare.

[1:13:06] If only I could hire

[1:13:07] a hedgehog

[1:13:08] to finish that jigsaw puzzle

[1:13:09] or watch my children for me.

[1:13:11] Welcome to doless.com,

[1:13:13] the only website

[1:13:14] that matches you up

[1:13:15] with an animal

[1:13:15] that can do that stuff for you.

[1:13:17] Dan,

[1:13:17] is there anything going on

[1:13:19] in your life

[1:13:19] that you wish

[1:13:19] that like a lemur

[1:13:20] or a slow loris

[1:13:21] or a cassowary

[1:13:23] could take care of?

Dan McCoy

[1:13:24] Yeah.

[1:13:25] There's a lot of dishes

[1:13:27] that pile up.

[1:13:27] I mean,

[1:13:28] a lot more cooking at home.

[1:13:29] Dishes pile up.

[1:13:32] Laundry,

[1:13:32] because I'm trying

[1:13:33] to wear actual clothes

[1:13:34] every day

[1:13:35] so I don't

[1:13:36] slip into depression.

[1:13:38] Those things

[1:13:39] would be great.

[1:13:39] I thought it interesting

[1:13:40] that you wanted

[1:13:41] your animal

[1:13:42] to possibly do

[1:13:42] the jigsaw puzzle

[1:13:43] for you,

[1:13:44] which it seems like

[1:13:45] the recreational thing

[1:13:46] that you listed.

[1:13:47] Dan,

[1:13:47] all I'm saying

[1:13:48] is I've got

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:48] too much on my plate

[1:13:49] and this animal

[1:13:50] is going to take

[1:13:50] something off my plate.

[1:13:51] If that means

[1:13:52] eating my dinner

[1:13:53] for me off a plate,

[1:13:54] then go ahead,

[1:13:55] Aardvark,

[1:13:55] do it.

[1:13:56] So,

[1:13:57] Dan,

[1:13:57] I think maybe

[1:13:58] you're looking for

[1:13:59] like,

[1:13:59] I don't know,

[1:14:00] like a salamander

[1:14:01] or perhaps

[1:14:02] like a mockingbird

[1:14:04] will do that

[1:14:04] laundry for you.

[1:14:06] And let me just

[1:14:06] put that into

[1:14:07] doless.com.

[1:14:08] Boop,

[1:14:08] boop,

[1:14:09] boop,

[1:14:10] boop,

[1:14:10] that's the sound

[1:14:10] it makes

[1:14:11] when you put it in.

[1:14:13] And it looks like

[1:14:14] there are

[1:14:15] squirrels in your area

[1:14:17] that will be happy

[1:14:18] to wash your dishes

[1:14:19] for you.

[1:14:20] Now again,

[1:14:21] doless.com,

[1:14:22] let me just get

[1:14:22] the legal stuff

[1:14:22] out of the way,

[1:14:23] doless.com

[1:14:23] cannot guarantee

[1:14:24] that these animals

[1:14:26] will do the job well

[1:14:27] and we are not

[1:14:28] legally liable

[1:14:28] if they break anything

[1:14:29] or soil anything

[1:14:31] in your apartment

[1:14:32] or house.

[1:14:33] But look,

[1:14:34] we're just a middleman.

[1:14:35] We're not legally liable.

[1:14:36] We're just here

[1:14:37] to connect you

[1:14:37] with the animals

[1:14:38] that want to do those jobs.

[1:14:39] Think of it like

[1:14:40] TaskRabbit

[1:14:41] with actual rabbits.

[1:14:43] doless.com.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:44] Now,

[1:14:45] Snow White,

[1:14:46] notwithstanding,

[1:14:47] which I have been

[1:14:48] re-watching

[1:14:48] because I've been

[1:14:49] reading a Disney biography,

[1:14:52] I don't think

[1:14:53] that squirrels

[1:14:53] have the body strength

[1:14:55] to do the things

[1:14:56] that you are assigning them.

[1:14:58] I'm not assigning

[1:14:59] anyone anything.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:00] Dan,

[1:15:00] you put your...

[1:15:00] I think I've written

[1:15:01] a book that can lift

[1:15:02] like 10 times

[1:15:03] their body weight.

[1:15:03] Yeah, yeah.

[1:15:04] Or wait,

[1:15:04] am I thinking of ants?

[1:15:06] Ants.

[1:15:06] Oh, you're thinking of...

[1:15:07] And what did he say?

[1:15:09] What did he say?

[1:15:10] Squirrels.

[1:15:11] Oh, okay.

[1:15:11] They sound alike.

[1:15:12] They do sound very similar.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:13] Dan,

[1:15:14] I'm not assigning them anything.

[1:15:16] You put your job

[1:15:16] on the website.

[1:15:18] Animals offer

[1:15:18] to do it for you.

[1:15:19] You pay them

[1:15:20] in acorns

[1:15:21] or whatever.

[1:15:22] Just stop putting

[1:15:23] this on me.

[1:15:24] Not legally liable.

[1:15:25] I'm just the middleman.

[1:15:27] That's doless.com.

[1:15:28] Okay,

[1:15:29] let's move on.

[1:15:32] I'm trying to promote

[1:15:32] my new website

[1:15:33] that I hope Squarespace

[1:15:34] can help me with

[1:15:35] and you've got to start

[1:15:35] telling me it doesn't work

[1:15:37] and you haven't even

[1:15:37] tried it yet.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:38] Okay,

[1:15:39] I think the next part

[1:15:40] of this podcast

[1:15:41] is the Jumbotrons.

[1:15:42] That's where you

[1:15:43] tell us something to say.

[1:15:45] And in this case,

[1:15:46] what I am saying is

[1:15:48] I am a freelance

[1:15:50] graphic illustrator

[1:15:51] who specializes

[1:15:52] in fantasy

[1:15:53] and sci-fi portraits.

[1:15:55] My pieces make

[1:15:55] great gifts

[1:15:56] for anyone

[1:15:57] who likes

[1:15:57] tabletop,

[1:15:59] fantasy,

[1:16:00] video games,

[1:16:00] or their own

[1:16:01] special fandom.

[1:16:03] Just visit

[1:16:03] illustration.com

[1:16:06] to check out

[1:16:07] my commission work.

[1:16:08] Now,

[1:16:08] I need to clarify

[1:16:09] the spelling

[1:16:10] of this URL

[1:16:11] is

[1:16:12] I-L-L-U-S-T-R-A-T-I-A-N.com.

[1:16:19] And I just checked it out

[1:16:20] and it's really great

[1:16:22] and you'll see

[1:16:22] some familiar faces

[1:16:23] in the commission work

[1:16:24] including some of our friends

[1:16:25] over at the Adventure Zone.

[1:16:27] And I'm assuming

[1:16:28] Dan gave me this

[1:16:29] Jumbotron to read

[1:16:30] because out of all of us,

[1:16:31] I'm the only one

[1:16:32] who has commissioned

[1:16:33] a portrait

[1:16:33] of one of their

[1:16:34] role-playing game characters

[1:16:35] from an artist.

[1:16:38] Now,

[1:16:38] that's just a guess.

[1:16:39] I don't want to

[1:16:40] sully you guys.

[1:16:41] I don't want to

[1:16:41] paint you guys

[1:16:41] with a brush.

[1:16:42] But is that true?

[1:16:43] Have you,

[1:16:44] any of your favorite

[1:16:45] role-playing game characters?

[1:16:46] Have you paid to have them

[1:16:47] drawn by an artist?

Dan McCoy

[1:16:49] Stuart,

[1:16:49] I have essentially

[1:16:51] one role-playing game character.

[1:16:53] Okay.

[1:16:54] You know him.

[1:16:54] The only art that's been done

[1:16:56] I, you know,

[1:16:57] has been done by listeners.

[1:16:58] It's not,

[1:16:59] yeah,

[1:16:59] I did not commission anything.

[1:17:00] I recently,

[1:17:01] I recently hired someone

[1:17:02] to,

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:03] yeah?

[1:17:03] I'm just saying

[1:17:04] maybe this will

[1:17:04] give you the opportunity

[1:17:06] to get that character

[1:17:08] drawn over at

[1:17:08] illustration.com.

[1:17:11] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:12] Well,

[1:17:12] I will not continue my story

[1:17:14] because it would have been

[1:17:15] pointless because I've got

[1:17:15] another Jumbotron.

[1:17:17] This is a message for

[1:17:18] Jen,

[1:17:19] last name withheld,

[1:17:19] and it is from

[1:17:20] Kevin,

[1:17:22] and the message goes like this.

[1:17:23] Happy birthday to the

[1:17:24] most amazing,

[1:17:25] sweetest,

[1:17:25] most beautiful love

[1:17:26] of my life.

[1:17:27] There's nobody I'd rather

[1:17:28] be trapped indoors with,

[1:17:29] and especially

[1:17:29] nobody I'd rather be

[1:17:31] sharing the world

[1:17:31] and my life with.

[1:17:32] I love you with all of my heart

[1:17:34] and all of my other guts,

[1:17:35] too,

[1:17:35] and promise you

[1:17:36] an unlimited amount

[1:17:37] of face bonks

[1:17:38] and ghost kisses

[1:17:39] forever.

[1:17:40] So that's for Jen

[1:17:40] from Kevin.

[1:17:41] How sweet.

[1:17:41] That's really lovely.

[1:17:43] Do you guys have any

[1:17:44] stories about love

[1:17:45] that you want to share?

Dan McCoy

[1:17:46] Uh,

[1:17:48] no.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:50] Okay,

[1:17:50] let's move on to,

[1:17:51] we got one final thing

[1:17:53] to promote.

[1:17:53] Flophouse listeners,

[1:17:54] have you ever wondered

[1:17:55] what it would be like

[1:17:56] to see a live

[1:17:57] Flophouse show

[1:17:58] in your very own home,

[1:17:59] and maybe the hosts

[1:18:00] haven't showered

[1:18:01] and are wearing pajamas

[1:18:02] or haven't shaved recently.

[1:18:04] I don't know.

[1:18:05] Look,

[1:18:05] there's a lot going on

[1:18:06] and we're not taking

[1:18:06] good care of ourselves.

[1:18:07] Well,

[1:18:07] here's your chance.

[1:18:08] June 6th

[1:18:09] at 9 p.m. Eastern,

[1:18:10] 6 p.m. Pacific,

[1:18:12] we are going to be doing

[1:18:13] a live over-the-computer

[1:18:15] Flophouse

[1:18:16] talking about something show.

[1:18:18] We're going to put up a link

[1:18:18] at theflophousepodcast.com

[1:18:20] where you can find out

[1:18:22] where to go to see it.

[1:18:23] We're still working out

[1:18:23] the tech details.

[1:18:24] That's right.

[1:18:25] The Flophouse boys

[1:18:26] are bringing their

[1:18:26] patented brand

[1:18:27] of don't really know

[1:18:28] what we're doing,

[1:18:29] but we're going to try

[1:18:29] it anyway

[1:18:30] to live online shows.

[1:18:32] Guys,

[1:18:32] is this going to be

[1:18:33] with like presentations

[1:18:34] before it

[1:18:35] just like a regular live show

[1:18:36] in person would have?

Dan McCoy

[1:18:37] Yeah,

[1:18:37] we're going to have

[1:18:38] our usual comedy

[1:18:40] PowerPoint presentations.

[1:18:42] I mean,

[1:18:42] this is going to be

[1:18:43] as close to a live show

[1:18:44] as we could do

[1:18:45] over Zoom.

[1:18:46] So people who

[1:18:48] have seen a live show

[1:18:49] can enjoy one

[1:18:50] from the comfort of their home,

[1:18:51] but people who,

[1:18:52] you know,

[1:18:52] don't live

[1:18:53] where we've come before,

[1:18:54] this is your chance

[1:18:55] to get that experience

[1:18:57] or close to it.

[1:18:58] Guys,

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:59] are we going to talk about

[1:19:00] without having to commit

[1:19:00] to like leaving your home

[1:19:02] to do it?

[1:19:02] Now you'll realize

[1:19:03] whether or not

[1:19:04] we're just going to

[1:19:05] waste your evening.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:06] You'll know that you

[1:19:07] never have to leave

[1:19:08] your home again

[1:19:08] to see us.

[1:19:09] Guys,

[1:19:10] are we going to talk

[1:19:10] about Howard the Duck,

[1:19:11] the movie that introduced

[1:19:12] the world to the idea

[1:19:14] of ducks with boobs,

[1:19:15] which they wouldn't need

[1:19:15] because ducks don't

[1:19:16] bear alive young,

[1:19:17] they lay eggs?

Dan McCoy

[1:19:19] That's correct, Elliot.

[1:19:21] Good point.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:22] And guys,

[1:19:23] are we going to do this

[1:19:24] for a charity

[1:19:25] yet to be determined

[1:19:26] because the three of us

[1:19:27] have not yet been able

[1:19:27] to agree on a charity

[1:19:29] to do it for?

Dan McCoy

[1:19:30] That is correct.

[1:19:30] It will be free to watch.

[1:19:32] However,

[1:19:33] throughout,

[1:19:33] we will be encouraging

[1:19:34] donations to charity.

[1:19:36] We will have a place

[1:19:37] to send folks

[1:19:38] and we will have

[1:19:40] some sort of raffle

[1:19:41] associated with charity.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:43] some kind of prizes

[1:19:44] like this prize

[1:19:44] I keep threatening

[1:19:45] where we're going to set up

[1:19:46] a website called

[1:19:48] Only Dan Fans

[1:19:49] where if you're a fan

[1:19:50] of Dan's,

[1:19:51] you can come

[1:19:52] and we'll just see

[1:19:54] pictures of Dan,

[1:19:54] maybe chat,

[1:19:55] all that kind of stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:56] Oh, my son would love that.

[1:19:57] He's a big fan of Dan.

[1:19:58] Not me, though.

[1:19:59] So that's June 6th

[1:20:00] at 9 p.m. Eastern Time,

[1:20:02] 6 p.m. Pacific

[1:20:03] and just go to

[1:20:04] theflophousepodcast.com

[1:20:06] for more information

[1:20:06] about where and how

[1:20:08] to see it.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:10] Okay,

[1:20:11] so let's move on

[1:20:12] to letters

[1:20:13] from listeners.

[1:20:15] Listeners

[1:20:15] like you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:17] It's a long show.

[1:20:18] Don't have time

[1:20:18] for a song.

[1:20:19] Do little.

[1:20:19] Letters.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:21] This first letter

[1:20:23] is from James,

[1:20:24] who writes,

[1:20:25] Corden stars.

[1:20:26] James Corden.

[1:20:27] Elliot mentioned

[1:20:28] The Lighthouse

[1:20:29] was surprisingly relatable

[1:20:30] in this time

[1:20:31] of isolations,

[1:20:32] but is it the best

[1:20:34] thing to watch?

[1:20:34] There's some things

[1:20:35] I can't go to the CDC for,

[1:20:37] so I come to you.

[1:20:38] What's the best thing

[1:20:39] to watch now?

[1:20:40] Something similarly

[1:20:41] isolating?

[1:20:42] Something totally

[1:20:43] freeing with crowds

[1:20:44] and normal life?

[1:20:45] Something that can

[1:20:46] uncomfortably

[1:20:47] enmesh itself

[1:20:48] into my now

[1:20:49] fragile psyche,

[1:20:51] sending me into

[1:20:51] a downward spiral

[1:20:52] of an unending

[1:20:53] fever dream

[1:20:54] trapped in repetition

[1:20:55] with no end in sight?

[1:20:57] I hope you can

[1:20:58] help us

[1:20:58] make sense of life

[1:21:00] in the way you

[1:21:00] always do

[1:21:01] with film.

[1:21:03] Sincerely,

[1:21:03] James,

[1:21:04] last name withheld.

[1:21:08] It's weird.

[1:21:09] I,

[1:21:09] during quarantine,

[1:21:11] have been going

[1:21:12] in two opposite

[1:21:14] directions.

[1:21:15] I have either

[1:21:16] watched things

[1:21:18] that sort of

[1:21:19] echo

[1:21:19] life as it is

[1:21:21] right now

[1:21:22] in interesting

[1:21:23] ways,

[1:21:24] or I have gone

[1:21:25] for

[1:21:26] total lightness.

[1:21:28] I think that the

[1:21:28] one thing I can't

[1:21:29] stand right now

[1:21:30] as much as I could

[1:21:31] maybe is something

[1:21:32] that takes a lot

[1:21:33] of intellectual

[1:21:34] or emotional

[1:21:36] energy

[1:21:37] from me,

[1:21:38] but,

[1:21:38] you know,

[1:21:40] I watched,

[1:21:41] yes,

[1:21:42] like Sonic,

[1:21:42] but I watched

[1:21:43] like a movie

[1:21:44] called,

[1:21:45] what was it called?

[1:21:46] Await Further

[1:21:47] Instructions,

[1:21:48] which is about

[1:21:49] a family trapped

[1:21:50] inside during

[1:21:51] a disaster

[1:21:53] that they know

[1:21:54] very little about

[1:21:55] and there's themes

[1:21:55] of scapegoating,

[1:21:58] racial scapegoating,

[1:21:59] like stuff.

[1:22:00] There's a

[1:22:00] authoritarian

[1:22:02] but not very

[1:22:03] bright,

[1:22:04] perhaps,

[1:22:04] father character

[1:22:06] who sways people

[1:22:07] very easily.

[1:22:08] Like,

[1:22:08] there are

[1:22:09] uncanny parallels

[1:22:10] to life right now

[1:22:12] and I

[1:22:13] kind of enjoyed it

[1:22:15] for that

[1:22:15] in a grim way.

[1:22:17] And then on the

[1:22:17] other side of things,

[1:22:18] I've been watching

[1:22:19] like,

[1:22:20] I don't know,

[1:22:20] Audrey Hepburn

[1:22:21] musicals

[1:22:22] and re-watching

[1:22:23] 30 Rock.

[1:22:24] So,

[1:22:25] I think both

[1:22:26] are good ways

[1:22:27] to go.

[1:22:27] How have you guys

[1:22:28] been choosing

[1:22:29] your entertainments

[1:22:30] right now?

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:31] Just speaking for

[1:22:32] myself,

[1:22:33] a lot of

[1:22:34] some light things

[1:22:36] but also,

[1:22:37] and I've been

[1:22:38] watching newsies

[1:22:38] over and over again

[1:22:39] because that's

[1:22:39] what Sammy

[1:22:40] wants to watch.

[1:22:41] So,

[1:22:41] if you look

[1:22:42] at the pie chart

[1:22:43] of movies watched

[1:22:44] over the quarantine,

[1:22:46] like fully 35%

[1:22:47] of it is just newsies.

[1:22:49] But at the same time,

[1:22:51] I don't know,

[1:22:52] I think I'm trying

[1:22:52] to achieve a sort of

[1:22:53] normalcy by just

[1:22:54] watching the things

[1:22:55] I would normally watch.

[1:22:56] You know,

[1:22:57] during our

[1:22:58] last Blood episode,

[1:22:59] I remembered that

[1:23:00] I hadn't watched

[1:23:01] a lot of Japanese

[1:23:02] movies in a while

[1:23:02] and so I've been

[1:23:03] watching a bunch

[1:23:04] of Japanese movies

[1:23:05] that I have

[1:23:05] on my cable box.

[1:23:07] I've been trying

[1:23:08] to just kind of

[1:23:09] like make a little

[1:23:11] pocket of normal

[1:23:11] for myself

[1:23:12] where I just

[1:23:12] watch the movies

[1:23:13] that I would be

[1:23:13] watching if nothing

[1:23:14] else was going on.

[1:23:16] But that's just

[1:23:17] my one way

[1:23:18] of coping with it.

[1:23:19] Stu,

[1:23:19] David,

[1:23:20] what have you

[1:23:20] been watching?

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:21] Well,

[1:23:23] a lot of TV

[1:23:23] with Charlene.

[1:23:24] We've been doing

[1:23:24] a,

[1:23:25] we've been doing

[1:23:26] a,

[1:23:26] well,

[1:23:26] it's a rewatch

[1:23:27] for her,

[1:23:28] but we're

[1:23:28] watching The Shield,

[1:23:29] the early 2000s

[1:23:32] FX,

[1:23:32] Michael Chiklis

[1:23:34] police,

[1:23:36] I guess,

[1:23:36] procedural.

[1:23:38] And it was,

[1:23:39] it was kind of

[1:23:39] like,

[1:23:40] it was pretty

[1:23:40] important when it

[1:23:41] was originally

[1:23:41] released.

[1:23:42] And I'm assuming

[1:23:43] it was important

[1:23:44] because the fashion

[1:23:45] choices are

[1:23:46] incredible.

[1:23:48] And like every

[1:23:50] other episode

[1:23:50] begins with like

[1:23:51] a sad

[1:23:52] Alice in Chains song.

[1:23:53] But it's,

[1:23:54] it's great.

[1:23:55] I like it a lot.

[1:23:57] And,

[1:23:57] and we're punctuating

[1:23:59] that with weekly

[1:24:00] releases of the

[1:24:01] What We Do in the

[1:24:02] Shadows TV show,

[1:24:03] which is the best

[1:24:04] television show

[1:24:04] currently on.

[1:24:06] So watch that

[1:24:07] if you haven't.

S4

[1:24:09] Yeah,

[1:24:09] I,

[1:24:10] I've been all over

[1:24:10] the place.

[1:24:11] We did watch the

[1:24:12] entirety of the OC,

[1:24:13] me and my partner.

[1:24:14] So it's not like

[1:24:15] I'm not binging

[1:24:16] old TV that I

[1:24:17] enjoyed when I

[1:24:18] was young and

[1:24:19] fancy free.

[1:24:20] But I do,

[1:24:21] I've been wavering

[1:24:22] between like

[1:24:23] watching,

[1:24:23] sort of

[1:24:25] comfortable

[1:24:25] classics that I

[1:24:26] enjoy and

[1:24:27] trying to like

[1:24:28] knock off

[1:24:29] things on my

[1:24:30] criterion watch

[1:24:31] list,

[1:24:32] you know,

[1:24:32] trying to fill

[1:24:32] in gaps,

[1:24:33] you know,

[1:24:33] take advantage

[1:24:34] of the time.

[1:24:35] I wrote a piece

[1:24:35] on The Atlantic

[1:24:36] about westerns.

[1:24:38] I had a whole

[1:24:39] like a couple

[1:24:39] weeks where all

[1:24:40] I watched was

[1:24:41] westerns just

[1:24:41] because I wanted

[1:24:42] stuff that was

[1:24:42] set outside,

[1:24:44] like anything

[1:24:45] with like vistas

[1:24:46] and sweeping

[1:24:47] landscapes was

[1:24:48] sort of doing it

[1:24:50] for me.

[1:24:50] that was probably

[1:24:51] the most fun

[1:24:52] phase.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:54] So like

[1:24:54] Wild Wild West?

[1:24:56] Wild Wild West

[1:24:57] and then

[1:24:58] Lone Ranger,

[1:24:59] sure.

S4

[1:24:59] I mean,

[1:25:00] Lone Ranger,

[1:25:01] 2011.

[1:25:04] like a lot of

[1:25:05] old class,

[1:25:06] you know,

[1:25:06] Red River,

[1:25:08] Rio Bravo,

[1:25:09] things like that.

[1:25:10] Like just,

[1:25:11] you know,

[1:25:11] just fun stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:13] I will find

[1:25:14] watching movies,

[1:25:15] I'm being,

[1:25:17] not triggered

[1:25:18] is the wrong word,

[1:25:18] but like kind of

[1:25:19] shocked by little

[1:25:20] things that I

[1:25:21] didn't expect to,

[1:25:22] like Dan,

[1:25:22] my wife and I

[1:25:24] are in the middle

[1:25:24] of watching a movie

[1:25:25] you recommended

[1:25:25] a while ago,

[1:25:26] The Best Worst Thing

[1:25:27] That Ever Happened,

[1:25:29] right?

[1:25:29] Oh,

[1:25:29] that's a great movie.

[1:25:30] about Merrily

[1:25:31] We Roll Along

[1:25:31] and there's the

[1:25:33] part that's weird

[1:25:34] about seeing like

[1:25:35] a theater full of

[1:25:35] people watching a

[1:25:36] play,

[1:25:37] but it's even

[1:25:38] weirder to see

[1:25:39] television news

[1:25:41] covering a play

[1:25:42] in previews that

[1:25:43] is having trouble

[1:25:44] with its production

[1:25:45] and being like,

[1:25:46] oh,

[1:25:46] the news used to

[1:25:47] cover stuff that

[1:25:48] wasn't like the end

[1:25:49] of the world,

[1:25:49] like the news

[1:25:50] would sometimes

[1:25:51] cover that these

[1:25:52] famous people are

[1:25:53] making a play

[1:25:53] and it's a musical

[1:25:54] and it's not going

[1:25:55] great and like,

[1:25:57] it was just,

[1:25:58] that was the most

[1:25:58] shocking thing to me,

[1:25:59] but in a nice way.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:01] I was just watching,

[1:26:01] I was just watching

[1:26:02] that Underwater movie,

[1:26:04] the monster movie

[1:26:05] set Underwater

[1:26:06] and there's,

[1:26:08] there's some stuff

[1:26:09] in it that I really

[1:26:09] like and all the

[1:26:11] interiors are great,

[1:26:12] but specifically

[1:26:13] when they're like

[1:26:14] walking around in

[1:26:14] these like cool

[1:26:15] robo suits underwater

[1:26:16] and you're like

[1:26:18] kind of trapped

[1:26:19] inside this little

[1:26:20] shell with the actors,

[1:26:21] that stuff's all

[1:26:22] really great and it

[1:26:23] was kind of more

[1:26:23] affecting for me,

[1:26:25] but yeah,

[1:26:27] and then the movie

[1:26:28] had to,

[1:26:29] we'll pull back

[1:26:29] and you'll get

[1:26:30] this big sweeping

[1:26:30] vista with Marvel

[1:26:31] style chyrons and

[1:26:33] you're like,

[1:26:33] oh,

[1:26:33] that's not as good.

S4

[1:26:37] I enjoyed Underwater.

[1:26:39] I like it when a movie

[1:26:40] doesn't have a first act.

[1:26:41] I'm always a fan of

[1:26:42] no first act movies.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:44] Yeah,

[1:26:44] it throws you right in it.

S4

[1:26:46] So we're underwater.

[1:26:48] Oh no,

[1:26:48] the whole thing exploded.

[1:26:49] Like that's the

[1:26:50] beginning of the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:52] Well,

[1:26:53] like a lot of times

[1:26:53] I guess we'll introduce

[1:26:54] ourselves while we deal

[1:26:55] with this.

[1:26:55] Hi folks,

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:56] see you later.

[1:26:57] Well,

[1:26:57] normally a movie like

[1:26:58] that would explain

[1:26:59] like,

[1:26:59] oh,

[1:26:59] let's spend the first

[1:27:00] third of the movie

[1:27:01] explaining why this

[1:27:03] thing is so important

[1:27:04] and like why it'll

[1:27:06] never explode later on.

[1:27:08] how it works and

[1:27:08] right,

[1:27:09] yeah.

[1:27:11] No,

[1:27:11] you just want to

[1:27:12] see it explode.

[1:27:13] That's all I'm here for.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:14] Well,

[1:27:15] that's funny.

[1:27:15] It's funny how

[1:27:16] movies will get

[1:27:17] complimented for

[1:27:18] opposite things.

[1:27:19] Like,

[1:27:20] I feel like I've seen

[1:27:20] so many reviews

[1:27:21] where they're like,

[1:27:22] the great thing about

[1:27:22] this movie is it

[1:27:23] really takes its time

[1:27:24] and explains who

[1:27:25] the characters are

[1:27:26] before the action

[1:27:26] happens.

[1:27:27] And other reviews

[1:27:27] were like,

[1:27:28] the best thing

[1:27:28] about this movie

[1:27:29] is it really gets

[1:27:29] into the action

[1:27:30] right away and

[1:27:30] doesn't waste time

[1:27:31] explaining all the

[1:27:32] characters.

[1:27:32] And it's like,

[1:27:33] wait a minute,

[1:27:34] I guess it's whether

[1:27:34] they do it well or not.

[1:27:36] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:36] yeah,

[1:27:37] there's always the

[1:27:38] reviewer who's like,

[1:27:39] I wish they'd spent

[1:27:40] more time explaining

[1:27:41] who the babysitter

[1:27:42] was before she died

[1:27:43] in Don't Tell Mom

[1:27:44] the Babysitter's Dead.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:46] Well,

[1:27:46] that's,

[1:27:46] you've reached,

[1:27:47] talked about my

[1:27:48] gritty reboot of

[1:27:48] Don't Tell Mom

[1:27:49] the Babysitter's Dead.

[1:27:50] When are we going to

[1:27:50] finally tell the

[1:27:51] babysitter's story?

[1:27:52] So it ends with her

[1:27:53] getting to the house.

[1:27:54] So you know,

[1:27:54] it's like a Joker

[1:27:55] style thing where

[1:27:56] the movie ends just

[1:27:57] as the character

[1:27:57] becomes remotely

[1:27:58] interesting.

[1:28:00] So I guess,

[1:28:02] yeah?

Dan McCoy

[1:28:02] No,

[1:28:03] I was just imagining

[1:28:03] a much like

[1:28:04] grimmer version

[1:28:05] of Don't Tell

[1:28:06] Mom the Babysitter's

[1:28:07] Dead now

[1:28:07] where they like

[1:28:08] put her in one

[1:28:09] of those like

[1:28:10] those big

[1:28:11] like freezers

[1:28:13] in the garage

[1:28:13] and they'll like

[1:28:16] have to do all this,

[1:28:17] I don't know,

[1:28:18] like they fear

[1:28:19] that they're going

[1:28:19] to be suspected

[1:28:20] by the murder,

[1:28:21] you know?

[1:28:22] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:22] and the little,

[1:28:23] and the youngest kid

[1:28:24] thinks that the body

[1:28:25] is talking to him

[1:28:25] and his psyche

[1:28:26] is breaking down.

[1:28:27] Yeah.

[1:28:28] Yeah.

[1:28:29] Babysitter of the Flies

[1:28:30] we call it.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:32] This second

[1:28:33] and final letter

[1:28:34] is from,

[1:28:35] I believe,

[1:28:36] I'm going to try

[1:28:37] and pronounce this

[1:28:37] Kire,

[1:28:38] I don't know,

[1:28:38] it's K-I-R-E,

[1:28:40] apologies if I'm

[1:28:41] doing it wrong,

[1:28:43] but Kire writes,

[1:28:45] hi,

[1:28:46] I'm a Toronto

[1:28:47] filmmaker

[1:28:47] and my new feature,

[1:28:48] The Last Porno Show,

[1:28:50] just premiered at

[1:28:51] the Toronto

[1:28:52] International Film Festival.

[1:28:54] I just listened

[1:28:54] to your latest podcast

[1:28:55] on The Joke Thief.

[1:28:57] Thought it was great.

[1:28:59] A little story

[1:28:59] about The Joke Thief.

[1:29:00] Apparently,

[1:29:01] the script was

[1:29:02] ten pages.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:03] I mean,

[1:29:04] apparently,

[1:29:05] that makes

[1:29:05] perfect sense.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:07] One of the actors

[1:29:08] told me the script

[1:29:09] consisted of a few scenes

[1:29:10] and a bunch of spots

[1:29:11] where it just said,

[1:29:13] scene will be added here,

[1:29:14] which I believe.

[1:29:16] I've had to transcribe

[1:29:17] three of Frank's scripts.

[1:29:19] Oh,

[1:29:19] Frank writes the scripts

[1:29:20] by talking into

[1:29:21] a voice recorder

[1:29:21] until he's bored

[1:29:23] and whatever he comes up

[1:29:24] with is the film.

[1:29:25] There's no revisions.

[1:29:26] It's fucking insane.

[1:29:28] The reason why

[1:29:30] I'm reaching out

[1:29:30] is because

[1:29:31] I'm Frank's

[1:29:32] second largest fan,

[1:29:33] the first being himself.

[1:29:34] I've been obsessed

[1:29:35] with him for years,

[1:29:36] so much so

[1:29:37] that I casted him

[1:29:38] in my film.

[1:29:40] Not only is this

[1:29:41] the first time

[1:29:42] Frank has acted

[1:29:42] in someone else's film,

[1:29:44] but it's the first

[1:29:45] and only time

[1:29:46] he got invited to TIFF.

[1:29:48] He plays a method

[1:29:49] acting teacher

[1:29:49] in my film

[1:29:50] and it's easily

[1:29:51] the best acting

[1:29:51] he's ever done.

[1:29:53] Aside from casting

[1:29:54] Frank in my film,

[1:29:55] I've had the

[1:29:55] fortune slash misfortune

[1:29:56] of helping him

[1:29:57] on his own films,

[1:29:58] easily the most

[1:29:59] stressful thing

[1:30:00] I've ever put myself through.

[1:30:01] I could go on for days,

[1:30:03] but just to give you

[1:30:03] an idea,

[1:30:04] we shot his two

[1:30:05] new feature films

[1:30:07] in two and a half days

[1:30:09] and one of them

[1:30:10] is a hockey film.

[1:30:15] Anyway,

[1:30:16] Cure promotes

[1:30:17] their movie

[1:30:18] The Last Porno Show.

[1:30:21] I can't speak

[1:30:23] to its quality,

[1:30:24] but it has a couple

[1:30:25] reviews online.

[1:30:27] Seems like it

[1:30:27] got pretty good reviews

[1:30:29] and you can see

[1:30:30] Frank D'Angelo

[1:30:30] in a different film,

[1:30:32] not directed by himself.

[1:30:34] That's amazing to me.

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:35] David, are you familiar

[1:30:36] with the works

[1:30:36] of Frank D'Angelo?

S4

[1:30:38] I mean,

[1:30:38] familiar in that

[1:30:39] I know of,

[1:30:41] I have never encountered,

[1:30:43] I've never actually

[1:30:43] put myself through them.

[1:30:45] Do you think

[1:30:45] I should?

[1:30:46] Do you think

[1:30:46] it's like,

[1:30:47] you know,

[1:30:48] a nice quarantine

[1:30:49] project for me?

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:52] I mean,

[1:30:52] The Atlantic

[1:30:53] is looking for articles,

[1:30:55] right?

[1:30:55] It's true.

[1:30:56] I mean,

[1:30:56] you know,

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:57] you gotta make content

[1:30:58] about something.

[1:30:59] No, no,

[1:30:59] I mean,

[1:30:59] I guess you could

[1:31:00] just go to the theaters

[1:31:00] and write about

[1:31:01] what's playing there.

[1:31:02] Oh, hold on a second.

[1:31:03] Yeah,

[1:31:03] it looks like

[1:31:03] Frank D'Angelo

[1:31:04] is your new best friend.

S4

[1:31:06] I mean,

[1:31:06] a movie called

[1:31:07] The Wretched

[1:31:08] has been the number

[1:31:08] one movie

[1:31:09] two weeks in a row

[1:31:10] at the box office.

[1:31:11] It's playing in like

[1:31:12] some drive-ins

[1:31:13] in Florida.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:14] I think

[1:31:15] No Deposit

[1:31:15] is probably

[1:31:16] worth watching,

[1:31:17] right?

[1:31:18] No Deposit.

[1:31:18] Yeah,

[1:31:18] that one's

[1:31:19] the closest one

Dan McCoy

[1:31:20] to an actual movie

[1:31:21] while still being

[1:31:23] like amusingly bad.

[1:31:27] Like,

[1:31:27] it is a trend downward.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:30] Yeah,

[1:31:30] don't see The Joke Thief.

[1:31:32] And Sicilian Vampire

[1:31:33] is only worth it

[1:31:34] for the scene

[1:31:35] where James Caan

[1:31:36] asks him to bite him

[1:31:37] so that he can make him

[1:31:38] into a vampire

[1:31:39] and doesn't seem to think

[1:31:40] there's anything weird

[1:31:40] about that.

S4

[1:31:41] It does sound pretty good,

[1:31:43] but I'm seeing here

[1:31:44] that No Deposit

[1:31:45] is 80 minutes

[1:31:46] to Sicilian Vampire

[1:31:47] is 124,

[1:31:49] so I think I'm gonna go

[1:31:50] with No Deposit.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:52] No Deposit

[1:31:53] does have

[1:31:53] two of the best lines

[1:31:55] in cinema history,

[1:31:56] and I won't tell you

[1:31:57] what they are.

[1:31:58] Do not spoil them.

[1:31:59] Let's just say

[1:32:00] Frank Langellis,

[1:32:01] not Frank Langellis,

[1:32:01] says,

[1:32:02] Robert Logia

[1:32:04] says one of them.

[1:32:05] Yeah.

[1:32:06] Frank Langellis.

[1:32:07] Another big endorsement.

[1:32:08] If only he could have been

[1:32:09] in a Frank Langellis movie.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:09] Robert Logia's

[1:32:10] last role, right?

[1:32:12] I believe it is, yes.

[1:32:13] Frank Langellis

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:14] specializes in giving

[1:32:15] famous actors

[1:32:16] their last roles.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:18] It's true.

[1:32:20] Every one of his movies

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:22] doubles as a last known photo

[1:32:23] for a former Hollywood star.

[1:32:26] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:26] Okay, so guys,

[1:32:28] time for our final segment,

[1:32:30] and that is

[1:32:31] recommendations of movies,

[1:32:33] movies that you should watch

[1:32:34] probably instead of

[1:32:35] too little,

[1:32:35] unless, I don't know,

[1:32:37] you're like a seven-year-old,

[1:32:38] in which case,

[1:32:39] you shouldn't be listening

[1:32:40] to this show.

[1:32:42] Not at all.

[1:32:43] Not at all.

[1:32:46] I'm going to recommend

[1:32:47] a movie that we watched

[1:32:48] just recently.

[1:32:50] Audrey is a big fan

[1:32:52] of Henri-George Clouseau,

[1:32:55] but has not seen,

[1:32:56] you know,

[1:32:57] several of the movies,

[1:32:59] and she was interested

[1:33:01] in The Wages of Fear,

[1:33:02] which is one of my favorite movies,

[1:33:04] but I was like,

[1:33:04] no, not two and a half hours

[1:33:06] of that tonight.

[1:33:07] Let's watch

[1:33:08] this movie

[1:33:09] that neither of us

[1:33:10] had seen

[1:33:11] that was 90 minutes

[1:33:11] called Le Corbeau.

[1:33:14] Oh, The Raven.

[1:33:15] The Raven, yes.

[1:33:17] And it's about,

[1:33:19] there's a doctor

[1:33:20] in a small town

[1:33:22] who becomes the target

[1:33:24] of some poison pen letters,

[1:33:26] and then sort of

[1:33:28] everyone in the town

[1:33:28] becomes the target

[1:33:30] of these letters

[1:33:32] all signed by the raven,

[1:33:34] and it creates chaos.

[1:33:37] No one knows who it is.

[1:33:39] It's, you know,

[1:33:42] he's talked of

[1:33:43] as the French Hitchcock.

[1:33:45] This movie is kind of

[1:33:46] right at the corner

[1:33:48] of Hitchcock

[1:33:49] and film noir avenues

[1:33:50] with a lot of Frenchness

[1:33:53] thrown in,

[1:33:54] and it's sort of a thriller,

[1:33:58] sort of just a drama

[1:33:59] about the way mobs

[1:34:01] can tear things apart,

[1:34:02] and it's also,

[1:34:05] it was banned for a while.

[1:34:07] It has, like,

[1:34:08] very frank talk

[1:34:09] about abortion

[1:34:10] and sexuality in it

[1:34:13] for a movie

[1:34:13] that was made in 1943,

[1:34:15] and I think it's kind of

[1:34:17] interesting, too,

[1:34:18] because it feels

[1:34:20] absolutely no need

[1:34:22] to make its protagonist

[1:34:23] likable in any way,

[1:34:25] which, you know,

[1:34:27] makes it very easy

[1:34:28] to sort of, like,

[1:34:29] suspect everyone

[1:34:30] in the film

[1:34:30] of some sort

[1:34:32] of wrongdoing,

[1:34:33] but it's, you know,

[1:34:34] like I said,

[1:34:34] 90 minutes,

[1:34:35] it's on Criterion.

[1:34:37] We liked it a lot.

[1:34:38] Stuart, what you got?

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:40] Oh, I will recommend

[1:34:42] the recently released

[1:34:44] on HBO

[1:34:44] Bad Education,

[1:34:47] starring everybody's

[1:34:48] favorite jacked man,

[1:34:49] Hugh Jackman,

[1:34:51] Ray Romano,

[1:34:53] Alice in Channery.

[1:34:55] Every time someone

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:56] says Alice in Channery,

[1:34:57] I think they're going

[1:34:58] to say Alice in Chains.

[1:34:59] Every single time.

[1:35:00] I don't get that

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:00] experience right now.

[1:35:04] Sure, look up

Dan McCoy

[1:35:05] Alice in Channery

[1:35:06] on your metal website.

[1:35:07] Yeah, metal archive.

[1:35:09] Let's just give me a second.

[1:35:11] Just known for one

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:12] recording of The Jackal.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:13] What?

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:16] So, yeah,

[1:35:17] it says no results.

[1:35:20] Yeah, so it's

[1:35:21] the second movie

[1:35:23] directed by Corey Finley

[1:35:25] who directed Thoroughbreds.

[1:35:28] And it's this great thriller

[1:35:29] based on an article

[1:35:32] which is based on

[1:35:33] a true story

[1:35:33] about a,

[1:35:34] what is it,

[1:35:35] Long Island superintendent

[1:35:37] who had been

[1:35:39] skimming money

[1:35:40] from the district.

[1:35:41] And it's this thriller

[1:35:43] about corruption

[1:35:44] that slowly reveals

[1:35:47] the story

[1:35:48] in such a careful

[1:35:50] and specific way

[1:35:52] so that you

[1:35:53] are kind of

[1:35:55] dragged along

[1:35:56] like this conspiracy

[1:35:58] slowly unfolds

[1:35:59] for you,

[1:35:59] the viewer,

[1:36:00] almost just like

[1:36:01] it does for the

[1:36:02] characters in the movie.

[1:36:04] It's really great.

[1:36:05] And in a time

[1:36:06] when there's not

[1:36:07] a lot of new stuff

[1:36:07] coming out,

[1:36:08] it's a real gem.

[1:36:10] So if you get a chance,

[1:36:11] check it out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:13] I am going to recommend

[1:36:15] a movie.

[1:36:15] I mentioned earlier

[1:36:16] that I am watching

[1:36:17] more Japanese movies

[1:36:18] because I realized

[1:36:19] I haven't seen a Japanese

[1:36:19] movie in a while.

[1:36:21] And I finally got to see

[1:36:22] Floating Weeds.

[1:36:24] That's right,

[1:36:24] Floating Weeds.

[1:36:25] It's an Ozu movie

[1:36:26] starring Genjiro Nakamura

[1:36:28] and Michiko Kyo.

[1:36:29] Yes, that's right,

[1:36:30] that Michiko Kyo

[1:36:31] from Gate of Hell

[1:36:32] and Ugetsu Manogatari,

[1:36:33] one of my favorites.

[1:36:35] And this is the 1959 version.

[1:36:37] This is a story

[1:36:38] that Ozu told twice.

[1:36:39] This is the version

[1:36:40] that's in color

[1:36:41] and with sound.

[1:36:42] And it's the story

[1:36:43] of this kind of

[1:36:44] pretty low-rent acting troupe

[1:36:47] that shows up

[1:36:48] in a small seaside town

[1:36:50] for a run of shows

[1:36:51] of old-fashioned

[1:36:52] kind of kabuki-style drama.

[1:36:57] And in that town,

[1:36:59] unbeknownst to

[1:37:00] almost everybody else,

[1:37:01] the head of the acting troupe

[1:37:02] has an illegitimate son

[1:37:04] and an ex-lover.

[1:37:05] And the son does not know

[1:37:07] that it's his father.

[1:37:08] He thinks that this is his uncle

[1:37:09] who shows up

[1:37:09] every, you know,

[1:37:11] 12 years or so.

[1:37:12] Hasn't been there

[1:37:12] in a long time.

[1:37:14] And it's about what happens

[1:37:15] when that secret

[1:37:16] starts to come out.

[1:37:17] And the movie is told,

[1:37:19] like, a lot of Ozu movies

[1:37:20] very, like,

[1:37:22] deceptively simply

[1:37:23] and deceptively slowly.

[1:37:25] But it's a beautiful

[1:37:26] looking movie.

[1:37:27] And he's one of those directors

[1:37:28] where when I was young,

[1:37:29] I, like, didn't,

[1:37:30] wasn't quite on the right

[1:37:31] wavelength for it.

[1:37:32] But now that I'm older,

[1:37:33] I really love the way

[1:37:34] that he just photographs things

[1:37:36] and the way that he lets

[1:37:37] the stories play out.

[1:37:38] And so I thought

[1:37:39] it was really great.

[1:37:39] And it has comedy moments.

[1:37:42] It's got heavy dramatic moments.

[1:37:44] And the acting's really great in it.

[1:37:45] It's called Floating Weeds.

[1:37:48] David?

S4

[1:37:48] Love Floating Weeds.

[1:37:50] I will recommend

[1:37:51] Mid-August Lunch,

[1:37:52] which is a little Italian movie

[1:37:55] from 2008.

[1:37:56] I interviewed Barry Jenkins

[1:37:58] for The Atlantic

[1:37:59] a couple weeks ago

[1:37:59] just asking him, like,

[1:38:00] hey, what are you watching?

[1:38:01] Like, because, again,

[1:38:03] got to write about something.

[1:38:05] And this was a movie

[1:38:06] he recommended to me

[1:38:07] that I had never even heard of.

[1:38:09] It's by Gianni Di Gregorio.

[1:38:12] And he said he'd seen it

[1:38:13] at a film festival

[1:38:14] and he sort of vaguely

[1:38:15] remembered it.

[1:38:15] And he was thinking

[1:38:16] about Italy a lot,

[1:38:17] about the sort of small towns

[1:38:18] in Italy

[1:38:19] and the older population

[1:38:21] because of what was going on

[1:38:22] in the world.

[1:38:23] And he flipped on this,

[1:38:24] I think it's 80-minute

[1:38:25] sort of, like, sweet,

[1:38:28] sad little comedy

[1:38:29] about a guy

[1:38:30] who starts looking after

[1:38:31] everyone's cranky relatives

[1:38:33] in his town

[1:38:34] when they all want to go

[1:38:36] on vacation in August.

[1:38:38] And it kind of is just

[1:38:40] one of those, like,

[1:38:41] clever little comedies

[1:38:42] that creeps up on you.

[1:38:43] Like, a real sense of place,

[1:38:45] real sense of character.

[1:38:46] Gianni Di Gregorio.

[1:38:48] It's on Amazon.

[1:38:49] Mid-August Lunch.

[1:38:52] Great.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:53] Okay, well,

[1:38:55] we've come to the end

[1:38:56] of this marathon.

[1:38:58] David.

[1:38:59] Yes.

[1:38:59] Do you have anything

[1:39:00] you want to plug?

S4

[1:39:01] You know,

[1:39:02] Blank Check

[1:39:02] with Griffin and David,

[1:39:03] my podcast.

[1:39:05] We take directors

[1:39:06] who were given

[1:39:07] a blank check

[1:39:07] by Hollywood

[1:39:08] at some point

[1:39:08] in their careers,

[1:39:09] you know,

[1:39:09] to make some kind of

[1:39:10] insane passion project-y movie.

[1:39:13] And we go through

[1:39:14] their whole filmography

[1:39:15] up and down.

[1:39:15] You guys were on

[1:39:16] the Manchurian Candidate episode

[1:39:18] for our Demi miniseries

[1:39:19] recently.

[1:39:20] Oh, that was fun.

[1:39:22] We're just wrapping up

[1:39:23] George Miller now.

[1:39:25] And, you know.

[1:39:26] Oh, has he made

[1:39:27] any good movies?

[1:39:29] Does he have one

[1:39:30] of the wildest filmographies

[1:39:32] of a blockbuster director?

[1:39:34] Yes.

[1:39:34] Yes, he does.

[1:39:35] So, enjoy that.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:38] It's such a good show.

[1:39:40] I think I've alarmed

[1:39:41] Griffin and David

[1:39:42] by tweeting too much

[1:39:43] about how I've been listening.

[1:39:46] No, I am unalarmable.

[1:39:48] Okay, good.

[1:39:50] Audrey, like,

[1:39:51] came out of the room

[1:39:53] once and being like,

[1:39:54] are we gonna,

[1:39:55] am I just gonna hear

[1:39:56] David Sims

[1:39:57] and Griffin Newman

[1:39:58] all quarantined?

[1:39:59] I'm like,

[1:39:59] hey man,

[1:40:00] hell yeah.

[1:40:01] It's making me feel good.

[1:40:03] It's comforting me

[1:40:03] during this time.

[1:40:04] So, check it out,

[1:40:05] I say.

[1:40:06] Thank you.

[1:40:07] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:08] You said we'd be listening

[1:40:10] to more Alice and Janney

[1:40:11] if she had a longer

[1:40:11] metal discography,

[1:40:12] but I guess that's not happening.

[1:40:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:15] So, guys,

[1:40:16] that's it.

[1:40:18] You know,

[1:40:18] check out the other shows

[1:40:19] at the Maximum Fun Network,

[1:40:22] MaximumFun.org.

[1:40:23] Uh-huh.

[1:40:24] Stay safe,

[1:40:25] wear a mask,

[1:40:27] be good to each other,

[1:40:28] all that stuff.

[1:40:30] Yep.

[1:40:31] Yep.

[1:40:32] And,

[1:40:32] for the Flop House,

[1:40:34] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:40:35] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:40:36] I'm Ellie Kalin.

[1:40:38] David.

[1:40:38] And David is David.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:40] I'm David Sims.

[1:40:41] This is the kind of thing

[1:40:42] that we're supposed to tell our guests

[1:40:43] that they're gonna do

[1:40:44] at the end of the episode.

[1:40:45] I was like 80% sure

S4

[1:40:47] I was supposed to say something,

[1:40:48] but then I was a child.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:49] What I like is,

[1:40:50] I have to assume

[1:40:51] there was a voice

[1:40:51] in the back of your mind

[1:40:52] that was like,

[1:40:52] if I'm not supposed

[1:40:53] to say something

[1:40:53] and I introduce myself

[1:40:54] at the end,

[1:40:55] they'll yell at me,

[1:40:56] so I better not do it.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:57] Yeah.

[1:40:58] We're pretty mean.

[1:41:00] Anyway,

[1:41:01] bye, everyone.

[1:41:05] I don't know why you feel

[1:41:07] the need to interrupt

[1:41:07] my kind invitation

[1:41:10] for socializing

[1:41:11] for a neighbor,

[1:41:12] but...

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:12] Consider it revenge

[1:41:13] for when you interrupted me

[1:41:14] thanking him

[1:41:15] for being on the show.

[1:41:16] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:18] So yeah,

[1:41:19] there's like two hours

[1:41:20] of this shit you're gonna...

[1:41:20] This is the kind of energy

[1:41:21] you're...

[1:41:22] Very excited.

[1:41:31] Optimumfun.org

[1:41:32] Comedy and culture.

[1:41:34] Artist owned.

[1:41:35] Audience supported.

Ep. #313 - Dolittle

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