Ep. #327 - Men In Black: International, with Annabelle Gurwitch

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Men in Black International.

[0:05] Brought to you by the International Mail Catalog, your number one source for sleeveless dusters.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:42] Hey Dan, it's me, Stuart.

[0:44] Hey Stuart.

[0:45] Oh, okay, I'll wait until you guys say hello to each other before I introduce myself.

[0:50] Have you guys seen each other not that recently, or what's going on?

[0:53] I mean, we actually haven't seen each other. The last time I think was when we taped last, so it's been a little while.

[0:57] Well, we did a live show on Saturday.

[1:00] Oh, that's right.

[1:01] So it's been a week.

[1:01] It's been a week.

[1:02] No, but you guys catch up.

[1:03] Talk about what's happened.

[1:04] I erased that from my memory.

[1:05] Tell each other about your Halloweens, and I'll sit here, and then I'll introduce myself afterwards.

[1:08] I mean, we should probably just do the show.

[1:11] I mean, David and I could do this off mic.

[1:14] Can you?

[1:15] It seemed like you were ready to do it right now during the show.

[1:18] The audience doesn't tune in for this kind of passive aggressiveness.

[1:22] I mean, they do a little bit, but mostly it's the friendship they enjoy.

[1:27] I'll say I'm the third member of this mouvage a trois, that's movie watching, with three people.

[1:33] And my name's Elliot Kalin, but we also have a special guest today.

[1:37] You'll recognize her from television, movies, and print.

[1:40] That's right, the Triple Crown.

[1:41] She's the co-host of the all-new MaxFun podcast, Tiny Victories,

[1:44] and also the author of the upcoming book, You're Leaving When,

[1:47] which comes out in March of next year, I believe, 2021.

[1:50] And, most importantly to me, she was the host for many years of Dinner and a Movie on TBS,

[1:55] where I learned how to cook pasta when I was younger.

[1:57] So please help us in welcoming Annabelle Gurwitch.

[2:01] Annabelle, thank you very much for joining us.

[2:02] Oh, hello, and I'm so glad you learned how to make pasta

[2:06] because I didn't learn how to make anything.

[2:08] We had a chef on set with us,

[2:10] and actually for like 24 hours,

[2:14] I would know how to make the dish that we made on the show.

[2:17] And then just like the Nebulizer in Men in Black series,

[2:24] My memory would be wiped totally, so I'm glad you retained some cooking skills from me.

[2:33] The very basics.

[2:35] I wanted to query this a little bit.

[2:39] Now, when you say you learned how to cook pasta, do you mean that you learned how to make the entire dish with the sauce,

[2:48] or are you literally just talking about cooking pasta?

[2:50] Because that is a pretty easy process.

[2:52] You just boil some salted water and put the pasta in for between 8 to 12 minutes if it's packaged dried pasta and maybe around 3 if it's a newer pasta.

[3:05] I can't believe he's showing off.

[3:06] Dan, I don't appreciate you posplaining to me and cook-shaming my lack of general knowledge about cooking.

[3:13] Nobody's born knowing how to make pasta, Dan.

[3:17] You've got to learn it from somewhere, and my parents did not teach me, so I learned it from dinner and a movie.

[3:22] I mean, you could also learn it from the pasta box.

[3:24] That's the other place that people pick it up, on the streets, you know?

[3:29] So I just see a box of pasta lying on the street,

[3:32] and you think I'm going to pick that up and read it thoroughly and then eat it?

[3:35] I don't think so, Dan.

[3:36] Okay, fair enough.

[3:37] Daniel, I just feel like you want to take away the fact that I imbued some knowledge to Elliot.

[3:44] I feel like you're just taking that away from me.

[3:48] I feel like it's a life achievement, okay, during this pandemic.

[3:52] I'm hanging on to little, little tiny, okay, tiny victories like having taught Elliot how to make pasta.

[4:00] Don't take that from me, man.

[4:01] Yeah, Dan.

[4:02] Okay.

[4:03] Dan.

[4:03] All right.

[4:04] Yeah, no, that's fair.

[4:05] That's fair.

[4:06] What did I see on your bookshelf behind you, Elliot?

[4:09] Is that an award for best pasta maker in Los Angeles?

[4:13] Yes.

[4:14] Well, thanks to Dinner and a Movie, I did go to CIA, the Culinary Institute of America, and I became a master pastologist.

[4:20] And I did win the LA Citywide Pasta Competition.

[4:24] And yes, as you can see, the trophy is, it's just gold pasta.

[4:29] It's just like gold linguine that's in a ball.

[4:31] It looks like a ball of yarn.

[4:33] It spells out, that's amore, right?

[4:35] No, no, it's actually in front of one of those three-dimensional paintings you see in like

[4:42] an older aunt's house where it's like Hollywood and it's a lot of tourist stuff and they have

[4:47] pieces of wood that make it look like a three-dimensional picture.

[4:50] Maybe my aunt is the only one who had one of these, but that's what says that's Amore in the back.

[4:53] I really embraced my New Jersey roots.

[4:57] I wasn't – I'm not Italian, but, you know, when you're from Jersey, you're a little Italian.

[5:02] Yeah, yeah.

[5:02] Oh, my God.

[5:03] I just saw that Chris Christie is on Cameo, and he got tricked, I guess.

[5:10] I don't know.

[5:11] How much brain power does it take to – is it okay if I say this trick, Chris Christie?

[5:16] I think it's totally okay.

[5:18] All right.

[5:19] he got tricked into making an endorsement video for a cameo for the democrat a democratic candidate

[5:27] first of all you deserve it if you're on cameo and you're chris christie and you're for sale

[5:34] for a hundred dollars i don't know it's just a hundred dollars yeah maybe i'll keep chris christie

[5:40] in mind while i put together my feature film that is made entirely out of uh cameo purchases

[5:46] annabelle i want to apologize to you my my verve and passion for trying to get elliot back for the

[5:55] many uh licks he's gotten in on me over the years uh had the unfortunate side effect of

[6:01] there was a lot of blowback to that one dan a lot of blowback

[6:05] i loved doing that show because my one of my favorite things are to is to talk about movies

[6:14] and uh i i i was a little bit ham what is the word hamstrung i was a little bit uh

[6:22] okay suddenly it sounded wrong because it was food in it no it's perfectly right as uh as as

[6:28] using the word query would have been for what i said before but i mean i've never heard it

[6:32] pronounced query but you know like scary weary yeah query is more of a high highfalutin sort of

[6:41] a british uh pronunciation of the word that um some in america use but not the real salt of the

[6:48] earth i guess i should i should say it like i'm a backwoods frontiersman who's who's trying to

[6:53] find out if there's a raccoon or a pie that has driven metal america away elliot metal america

[7:01] i'm a member of medical metal america dan i love metal judas priest my favorite band

[7:05] okay i did not actually finish my sentence oh sorry well that happens a lot here but no it's

[7:12] okay it's okay but i was going to just say i was i was acting at the time i did that show and so

[7:17] sometimes i've been in a movie so i sometimes held back on certain opinions and i really spend

[7:23] my time uh writing now and so um i'm free to just totally oh man take the gloves off

[7:31] and it's it's really just people are taught are just devastated by my reviews

[7:39] in the industry oh yeah yeah so that's that's appropriate because this uh at first we thought

[7:49] this was going to be a a pasta podcast and then we thought it was going to be a podcast about

[7:54] pronunciation but in fact it's a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it

[7:58] right guys yeah that's the theory that's the theory or theory i guess i should pronounce it

[8:05] theory that's the way dan would say to pronounce it you took the segue right out of my mouth

[8:09] stewart and thank you for that because that thing was hurting that was it i ate a whole segue

[8:13] no uh yeah we watched men in black international with a cavalcade of stars you got your tessa

[8:21] thompson you're chris hemsworth liam neeson emma thompson kumail najiani does a voice yep uh i feel

[8:29] like i'm freaking oh uh rachel ferguson uh rebecca ferguson rebecca ferguson sorry rachel i i can

[8:36] guarantee you've uh googled rebecca ferguson feet before dan you can't hear that mispronunciation

[8:41] um uh yeah rebecca ferguson who you may know from uh uh the mission impossible movies the later ones

[8:51] and wearing a hat in Dr. Sleep.

[8:54] A lot of great actors in this movie.

[8:57] And Elliot, I believe you are talking about it, or is Stuart?

[9:02] I'll be summarizing this film today.

[9:04] Now, just to get everyone back up to speed,

[9:05] because the old Men in Black movies have been a while ago now,

[9:08] they followed Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones

[9:11] as two super-secret agents

[9:14] who are trying to keep the Earth safe

[9:17] from aliens who are attacking Earth,

[9:20] By which I mean fleeing to Earth for a better life.

[9:24] So it was only while watching this movie that I was like, oh, this movie is about, like, space ice.

[9:28] These Men in Black movies are all about, like, if ice dealt with aliens and they're the heroes and also they erase people's memories routinely.

[9:35] They're kind of the bad guys, which is the place of Men in Black in UFO literature traditionally has been as bad guys who try to cover up real UFO sightings.

[9:45] But those movies flipped it on its head, and they made us love secretive, semi-fascist policing using taxpayer-funded advanced technology that we never get to see.

[9:56] Anyway, Men in Black International.

[9:57] Are they a government agency?

[9:58] I can't remember.

[10:00] Well, in the original movie, I think they're a U.S. government agency, but here they are, as the title says, international.

[10:07] So maybe the U.N. is funding them, or maybe they just do it for kicks.

[10:11] I also want to note that there was actually a bigger gap between Men in Black 2 and Men in Black 3 than between Men in Black 3 and Men in Black International.

[10:20] There was a 10-year gap between the second one and the third one because the second one was a big flop.

[10:25] And there's only a seven-year gap between Men in Black 3 and this attempted sort of reboot with other characters.

[10:35] And what lesson can we draw from that, Dan?

[10:37] I just thought it was kind of interesting.

[10:38] The second one was a big flop.

[10:41] yeah that's the one with laura flinn boyle right i can't actually speak to how it did financially i

[10:49] don't think it did that well but it was definitely not liked by basically everybody and the first one

[10:54] was a huge hit it was boffo bo and then and that this pic had legs hicks did not nix this sticks

[11:00] pics and that's all the variety headlines i know so let's talk about what happens in this one men

[11:05] of black international first off we know this isn't going to be a regular movie because the

[11:09] columbia pictures logo shows up there's columbia the personification of liberty in the western

[11:14] hemisphere and she slips on a pair of men in black sunglasses uh-oh at first i thought that

[11:19] was a reference to the joe cool character from the snoopy comics but no i think it's men in black

[11:24] wait i just realized something i think i watched the wrong movie

[11:28] oh that's great that's oh we can describe it to you okay so now we'll tell you the story of this

[11:34] one uh this was okay perfect so then let then you'll be experiencing this movie for the first

[11:42] time the way it was meant to be done with me telling you about it so yeah uh we start off

[11:47] it's paris 2016 and chris hemsworth and liam neeson there are men in black london agents

[11:53] they're called h and t all the men in black agents for movie uh-oh which one did did you

[11:59] Did you watch the first one, or did you watch another one?

[12:01] Okay, I'm so...

[12:04] I must have, like, the worst case of COVID brain.

[12:07] I watched that it was so terrible.

[12:10] It was the one where they travel back in time.

[12:14] I think that's the third one.

[12:15] Oh, wow.

[12:16] Which I would say is better than the second one, but...

[12:20] I thought I was supposed to watch the third one.

[12:22] Sometimes when we send literature, it's not super clear.

[12:27] Did you write when you, Elliot, when you wrote the email and you said Men in Black International, did you just write three I's?

[12:33] And that might seem like Men in Black 3.

[12:35] It's possible.

[12:36] It's possible.

[12:38] Elliot fell asleep at the keyboard in the middle of writing International.

[12:42] And he just like he like just his nose hit the I multiple times instead of finishing the word International.

[12:49] I have a typing problem called heavy finger where my finger sometimes lingers a little too long on some of the letters and multiplies them.

[12:56] Okay, well, don't worry.

[12:59] We're still going to have – we'll try to fit – I want you to – actually, while we're going through, I want you to tell me if this was Men in Black 3, what would they be doing at this point?

[13:06] Because I've never seen Men in Black 3, so I feel like we could both teach each other this time.

[13:12] Okay, at this point in the movie, we are at the Lunar Prison, the international – it seemed international to me.

[13:24] I mean, it was like they were at the International Lunar Prism, where a troglodytish kind of person is, I mean, alien, is breaking out to come and come back to Earth and wreak havoc.

[13:47] And they have to travel back in time to Tommy Lee Jones's past.

[13:54] uh and to uh for will smith to uh to to to write a wrong that wasn't to finish

[14:04] uncompleted work you know when they do that in a sequel you know the work that's there was

[14:11] something left unfinished yeah well back in the past and it's going to change everything but this

[14:16] was the what what happens in that movie i'm just going to give you the brief summary is

[14:20] that was one of those movies where they seek to give you the backstory the heartwarming backstory

[14:28] you don't give a shit about you just can't be fun but it was fun and funny and they're just

[14:37] gonna deny you that and try to pull it your heartstrings and you're like no that's not what

[14:46] i'm tuning in for give me my funny aliens i don't want to know will smith's backstory i just want to

[14:55] see him be charismatic and be will smith that's the movie in a nutshell okay i mean this there's

[15:02] similar stuff going on in this one as you'll see uh i will also mention though how how great would

[15:07] have been if he had to go into tommy lee jones's actual past and it's like he's on the set of

[15:11] coal miner's daughter and will smith is like we got to stop these aliens and he's like i don't

[15:15] understand what you're talking about so we'll see that that movie sounds kind of like this one in

[15:19] some ways so it's paris 2016 agents h and t that's right chris hemsworth and liam neeson they're from

[15:25] london but they're in paris and they are they're kind of they're those kind of smug like uh-oh

[15:29] another adventure well let's let's let's stop this one old buddy and they interrupt a marriage

[15:34] proposal at the eiffel tower because the hive a kind of vague alien menace that absorbs other

[15:39] species and planets are invading earth ah can they stop them they must have because now we're in

[15:44] brooklyn and this is done as if it's taking place at the same time as that but it's got to be the

[15:49] 1990s because this is tessa thompson's character as a little girl and the idea that she aged 20

[15:55] years in the past four years doesn't make any sense but no it's it's weird that they would go

[16:00] to 2016 and then without saying the year again go way beyond that but uh this little girl molly

[16:06] she encounters a kind of like stitch looking alien like lilo and stitch and her parents are like what

[16:11] it look like yeah the parents are like there's an animal it's some kind of animal and the men

[16:14] and black agents show up they erase her parents memory but they don't erase hers and she helps

[16:18] that alien escape by basically saying go out that window right now she doesn't really do that much

[16:22] to help it now i want to talk about a problem uh that i have with uh the men men and black uh

[16:28] procedurally okay because uh this is the right form for that yes yes uh so liam neeson and chris

[16:34] simsworth and these two agents outside uh young tessa thompson's uh house do the same thing they

[16:41] both explain what's actually happening the alien thing that is actually happening yeah and then

[16:47] they neuralize them and i'm like well why are you explaining this to these people beforehand if

[16:53] you're just gonna erase their brain especially when in the second case it allows tessa thompson

[16:58] to overhear you talking about aliens yeah do you think that's part of the way the neuralizer works

[17:04] where you have to like say by like saying it it brings it to the forefront of your brain and then

[17:09] you're like time to wipe that chalkboard clean yeah i know i have a problem with the procedural

[17:15] aspect too of all the men in black movies with that aspect because i also feel like

[17:19] why don't they show us the story of the actual repercussions that happen from that one of just

[17:27] one in that there's always like a crowd right and so like like someone goes home and their

[17:34] wife is really pissed at them because they can't remember where they were oh yeah likely story or

[17:42] does it just delete that time i mean i really need to know like how that works somebody gets

[17:48] arrested but someone gets arrested by the regular police and they're like where were you last night

[17:52] when the murder took place i don't remember i wasn't there but i don't remember i didn't do it

[17:56] and they're like, okay, throw him away.

[17:57] And the men in black are like,

[17:58] we could testify on his behalf,

[18:00] but then we'd have to reveal there are aliens.

[18:02] So, sorry, buddy.

[18:03] Well, they do fill in everyone's memory

[18:05] with a false memory after they neuralize it.

[18:08] That part makes sense to me.

[18:10] It's just like, why do you have to,

[18:11] it really feels like they're just like

[18:13] fucking with these people.

[18:15] Yeah, it's also possibly part of it.

[18:17] The real screenplay reason is

[18:19] they're explaining to the audience what's going on.

[18:23] But I'm just like, why is this happening?

[18:26] It's another one of those issues that I'm just going to go super, super serious with this series.

[18:34] Because, you know, it exists on so many levels that are troubling.

[18:39] So, yes, there is this sort of fascist sort of element to the ICE group that, you know, itself, which is probably, I'm sure there's some Reddit somewhere,

[18:51] some reddit thread that someone speculated that the ice organization and men in black is funded

[18:57] by bill gates or something but this is this is in fiction right not in the real reddit or in real

[19:02] reddit as well in real reddit real reddit it's qmiv yeah there's there's like this sort of like

[19:09] fascist undercurrent of all the things the government's not keeping from you paired with

[19:17] the fuzzy uh uh cute alien universe because it's it's just sort of a funny dichotomy there that i

[19:27] it just it it's just sort of a clash for me in the first men in black it was just all so silly

[19:34] and campy that i went with the sort of okay fascism i'll go you know you're fun fascism

[19:42] right and you're also you're also coming at it as an outside i feel like in the first movie you are

[19:47] thoroughly with will smith and you are coming at this world as an outsider and there's something

[19:52] about an outsider who is like learning about this new world that is makes it slightly less scary

[19:57] well i also don't i mean i don't want to be men in black apologists because like sometimes they

[20:03] do seem to just be like okay these are illegal aliens these are they haven't gone through the

[20:08] proper channels but at the same time like you go around men in black headquarters

[20:13] there's plenty of aliens working there they seem to be like cool with aliens in general so there

[20:20] are so many aliens i feel like so much of the movie is people walking through rooms filled

[20:27] with aliens like i feel like when guillermo del toro was in the movie theater he's like

[20:31] more of this just more of this story it makes me wonder why there's so many aliens that work there

[20:36] why are aliens a secret yeah but also okay here's another anomaly of the movies and and this is

[20:44] where i i think it i take it you know i'm taking this very i take these things very seriously so

[20:50] in the star wars uh series which i hold very sacrosanct because i am that kind of creepy

[20:57] person um you know the aliens the funny alien out costuming and you know like the job of the hut

[21:06] uh uh set pieces right in the bar that's intended as comic relief in the middle of a joseph campbell

[21:16] uh mythological uh heroes call to action film right this is the continual uh saga being played

[21:26] out in star wars it's a serious movie then you get these funny aliens in the first men in black

[21:31] the funny it was all just funny aliens right but then i feel like they start to mix up their themes

[21:37] and then i'm not sure if the funny aliens are the point if it's a if it's what kind of i'm not sure

[21:43] what world we're in anymore i get very confused that's that's an issue that i had with this movie

[21:48] too because i was not sure when i was supposed to care about things or not or what was serious

[21:53] and what wasn't because well let's get back into the movie i think that's a good point we go so

[21:57] it's present day and now molly is all grown up she's tessa thompson and she's applying to all

[22:02] the intent you know the fbi the cia trying to figure out how to join the men in black but she

[22:05] keeps getting stonewalled luckily at her tech support call center job her computer can track

[22:10] space anomalies and she tracks the suspicious probably you know installed a an extra program

[22:16] i'm guessing that what didn't come with uh i don't think it put that on there it's probably the one

[22:20] she has in her apartment with those super killer graphics yeah yes well she and she is logging in

[22:25] Can I interrupt you for one second? I don't know if you follow this sort of stuff, but as someone who once, you know, was like a, well, I was like always a Star Trek girl and stuff. And so I follow this stuff. But the intelligence agencies now allow for you to have smoke weed. I just wanted to mention that.

[22:46] just in case any listener is out there thinking of a career change during covid are you recruiting

[22:54] is this like a backdoor recruitment now i love the idea of like like a like a ci agent who's

[22:59] like hey kids you know what's cool getting high and protecting your country i mean now the one

[23:06] thing you know that was stopping me has been removed i mean other than the fact that i'm 42

[23:11] and i haven't trained in any sort of you know analysis or how many people have been uh

[23:19] quarantining at home thinking about a new career smoking a lot of weed young people young people

[23:25] just out of college smoking a lot of their home what are you going to do and they're and now

[23:31] they're listening to this and they're thinking okay i mean young people don't listen to this

[23:36] but that's okay now surprising number two i don't know why because they're all like these are all

[23:42] like middle-aged people references that we make for the most part but uh it's like uh it's the

[23:46] comfort of uh hearing your dad's weird friends in the next room yeah yeah exactly yeah so uh she uh

[23:53] the things are about to get a little bit more dramatic for molly she tracks this suspicious

[23:58] trajectory to a disguised crash site there's like a hologram that makes it look like a construction

[24:03] site but really the men in black are taking away this alien everyone seems to know he seems to be

[24:07] a famous alien he's never mentioned again not a character in the movie uh molly repeat offender i

[24:13] think is what's what's being but anyway molly gets into a classic new york city yellow cab

[24:19] follow that car all right whatever you say i love man seeing a person without a mask getting in a

[24:25] new york cab oh i love it that's the science fiction am i right stew yeah yeah uh she follows

[24:31] them to men in black headquarters and she tries to sneak in by walking right in like she doesn't

[24:36] have much of a plan it just occurred to me is this is where she told them to keep the motor running

[24:40] right is this yeah so he's still waiting like keep the meter running sorry i mean well no he

[24:44] she tells him to keep the meter running when they get to the crash site i think yeah uh-huh and then

[24:49] she goes follow that car so okay i thought i like in my head i'm like wait a minute did she just

[24:54] abandon that cab because if if she did we were denied the post-credit sequence of that cab still

[25:00] waiting for her and the meter is up to like 40 000 and he's like this is gonna put my kids through

[25:04] college yeah yeah he's rubbing his hands together he's like this is gonna be the best fair i ever

[25:10] had but he's like hungry he's eating his shoes at this point because he's got a big beard the

[25:15] bathroom but he can't he can't get out of the car uh so she gets caught and taken to oh played by

[25:20] emma thompson the head of the office now all the men in black agents worldwide are called by one

[25:25] letter which leads me to believe there are only 26 men in black agents there's so many people in

[25:29] and i guess four more in spain but it's like uh they don't what do they do when they run out of

[25:35] letters guys what do you think oh they double it it's like double oh seven oh double k but what

[25:42] about w see that's where you run into problems you gotta skip directly to triple u you're gonna

[25:48] do that the w agents are like no god please don't do w me don't double you me don't don't you don't

[25:59] you double you me don't you do it and you know that age molly becomes agent m and you know that

[26:03] she's she and agent n are always getting mixed up she's always getting agent n's call and agent n

[26:09] n is always the agent m's call it's not a good system i guess that's what i'm saying yeah she's

[26:13] always has to be like m like in marshmallow when she introduces herself to people exactly and agent

[26:18] b and d it's it's not a good oh no so emma thompson is like i've been impressed by your dedication to

[26:23] this and also how pathetically lonely you are because tessa thompson says that relationships

[26:27] just distract you from the truth now we know what she's about learning how to love and trust

[26:31] and she recruits her as a probationary agent she does not get her neuralyzer until she completes

[26:36] her first mission and the neuralyzer again is the is the amnesia device yeah i love that that's the

[26:41] one thing you don't get she gets to shoot all kinds of you know extremely dangerous weapons

[26:46] but the neuralyzer is the one thing yeah because it's too much uh so now we go back to london

[26:53] chris hemsworth is going undercover to infiltrate alien smugglers but he gets caught by them he

[26:58] gets bitten by a three-headed snake and in exchange for the antidote to the snake poison

[27:02] he sleeps with the smugglers alien wife so that's the kind of hero we got he's somehow the best

[27:07] agent they've got even though he's always messing up always breaking the rules and is like having

[27:11] sex with his suspects that he's supposed to be watching so how is he the best he's like a captain

[27:16] kirk type where it's like he's the best of us even though he does everything wrong and causes

[27:20] bigger problems so i've got a little bit i do have a problem with this arc elliot i agree with you

[27:24] but for slightly different reasons like we learn that his tragic backstory like i'll we'll talk

[27:30] about in more depth later but we learned that his tragic backstory is basically just a bad breakup

[27:35] i mean like there are extra levels to it yeah let's just say that and it's the way he acts is

[27:41] so out of proportion to that like he used to be the best agent and now he kind of is like

[27:48] halfway to a Captain Jack Sparrow

[27:50] type where he's like this sort of like dissolute

[27:52] like he seems like sort of drunk and he doesn't

[27:55] really care about

[27:56] Wait, are you saying Captain Jack

[27:59] Sparrow was a drinker?

[28:01] What?

[28:03] I just assumed he got hit on the head with a coconut

[28:07] multiple times. All the time.

[28:08] He has a coconut tree at home on the ship

[28:10] and the coconuts are always hitting him in the head.

[28:12] Well Dan, I think some of this is

[28:15] It's a lot cheaper. I mean the initial investment

[28:17] is higher i mean the coconut trees are palm trees are expensive they're expensive trees to buy

[28:22] but if you want coconuts that's what you got to do you're not going to get them from any other

[28:26] type of tree just try it dan i tomorrow plant an oak tree wait 40 years 50 years you're not

[28:33] going to get any coconuts from it stewart wait i have to ask you a question are you saying that

[28:37] will smith and tommy lee jones do not appear in this movie they are never in this movie i have

[28:44] i have to assume their characters died between films and so now they mentioned and they're never

[28:49] mentioned and it's yeah at rip torn who you know of course passed but he's not mentioned in the

[28:53] movie even though he's the head of the organization in the old one there's this is it's almost like

[28:57] this is an offshoot from a different reality where the agents we came to know and love in

[29:02] the original men black movies they don't exist this is a totally different system and uh there's

[29:07] so dan but some of his personality change i think is supposed to be because of what happened to him

[29:11] in paris that night oh so you okay you think it's a bit so well that's even worse though because

[29:17] then the men in black are going around making everyone loopy with their neuralizers spoiler

[29:21] alert for the when you use the neuralizer you turn everyone into like a into like a big

[29:24] boorish kind of like a big you know boozy goof yeah yeah uh so molly is now agent m she takes

[29:32] a turbo subway to london this is this turbo subway that no one on the subway seems to seems to be

[29:38] ready for the propulsion okay and the thrust they're always all their stuff is flying out

[29:42] of their hands it's like i thought you commuted on this i have a big problem with this gag too

[29:46] because we get to the subway the subway looks like a traditional grimy subway it looks much like any

[29:54] new york subway might but there are a bunch of aliens well not those new stations up on not the

[29:59] new stations in the ugly so let me get my point out i'm just saying those are really clean okay

[30:05] they're a bunch of aliens out on the platform clearly this is a men in black platform and she

[30:11] gets onto this train and then the train transforms into you know gleaming uh science fiction men in

[30:18] black train yeah and zooms to another men in black platform with a bunch of aliens like why are you

[30:25] camouflaging this train what possible reason is there for this visual gag for the audience dan

[30:31] that's why they did it yeah okay now you're following chris helmsworth's helmsworth's uh

[30:38] storyline where is liam neeson okay so we're gonna see him so that's the thing so uh

[30:44] molly is about to meet him good it's a it's a good question but anyway uh and molly agent m

[30:50] she shows up in london she pets this little alien that dissolves into little like mischievous

[30:54] critters but that scene ends before anything really happens with it suddenly we're in marrakesh

[30:58] where a janitor gets melted by two energy beings who they steal his his form right because they

[31:04] turn into lay twins the twin breakdance duo janitor dances a little bit too so you gotta know he's

[31:09] that it's the same same moves that's right so lay twins are showing up in their second flop house

[31:14] episode after appearing in cats the movie now now elliot were they the cats that uh were dancing

[31:21] with the sneakers on is that yes they're breakdancing cats that's all they do they're

[31:25] break dancers dan that's what if you see break dancers in a movie and there's two of them i

[31:28] understand who break dancers are i'm just i just want to say i loved the movie cats oh it was so

[31:34] amazing i went to the movie theater with one of my best friends we laughed so we were we were the

[31:41] only ones there we were just weeping when elba comes out naked basically looking like a naked

[31:50] person just a naked man who's like a cat whose penis was stolen yeah it's totally a a neutered

[31:57] a neutered idris elba um totally naked but strangely furry i just i just laughed so hard i

[32:06] i appreciate that i i mean there's not a lot that can do you know you need that so thank you

[32:13] you know giving us giving us that movie came out yeah it came out at the wrong time it came out

[32:22] before the pandemic if it had come out now when people needed a laugh it would be the biggest

[32:25] movie in the history of the world it would be back to this movie so late twins they go to this

[32:31] these energy beings they go to the secret workshop where these tiny little aliens live and there's

[32:36] like a queen alien and her little pawns and they say we need something that we can use to kill

[32:40] this jababian prince the jababians are aliens we're back to london and here's where we see

[32:45] uh uh t liam neeson he's met molly very briefly and now he is holding like a little uh briefing

[32:53] session h is kind of in trouble for his unauthorized smuggler sting operation but not

[32:58] really they kind of shrugged it off pretty easily and t assigns him to chaperone fungus a visiting

[33:03] member of the jababian royal family this is the assassination target uh turns out they're old

[33:08] They're old partying buddies, and Chris Hemsworth has an unending stream of stories that he tells about him and Vungus hanging out.

[33:14] And when they finally meet, it doesn't seem like they really like each other that much.

[33:18] None of those stories sound that much fun.

[33:19] No.

[33:20] They feel like first drafts.

[33:22] And Molly is like, she says to H, here's a dossier about Jebabians that I wrote.

[33:28] I should be your partner.

[33:29] I know all about them.

[33:30] I speak their language.

[33:31] And she's kind of lying, but he likes that she's lying and thinks he can use her in some way.

[33:35] So he goes, okay, you come with me.

[33:37] it's your classic straight arrow loose cannon matchup except really personality wise they're

[33:41] kind of similar there's not that it's and i think they thought we're gonna match chris hemsworth and

[33:45] tessa thompson were so good together in thor ragnarok let's build a whole men in black movie

[33:50] around them and they just don't have it but it's weird because in thor ragnarok tessa thompson is

[33:54] the loose cannon and thor is the straight arrow but here they decided they did they pulled an

[33:59] ishtar and they decided to switch up their personalities and i don't know they didn't

[34:03] really do it that well now ellie i i gotta say i look i'll tip my hand a little bit i didn't mind

[34:09] this movie i'll talk about it more in the final judgments but part of the reason i didn't mind

[34:14] is like this the screenplay is is completely boilerplate there's not much going on there

[34:21] but tessa thompson and chris hemsworth are two of the most attractive charming people

[34:29] existing on earth today and so i'm kind of happy just to see them like goof around a little well

[34:34] that's what i've just felt like the whole time i was watching the movie i was like what could

[34:37] these two be doing with a movie that gave them like more fun stuff to do like there's so much

[34:42] better than this material you know it's like uh and i'll say the same for camille nangiani uh and

[34:49] uh rebecca ferguson later yeah again the whole cast down the line great cast emma thompson and

[34:56] and neeson of course not capable of that much so here i was like i was like wow it's a joke guys

[35:03] come on you know i'm joking i would never say that about nanny mcfee come on uh so they go to

[35:10] can i can i can i just say i i love emma thompson so much that she's you know the thing about her

[35:17] is that she's super you know shakespearean trained british actress and she's just will go for these

[35:25] things like i just i thought she was great in natty mccree i you know like just the way she

[35:31] embraced like the bad teeth thing like oh yeah just go there she did shakespeare and stuff through

[35:37] like you know she was with kenneth branagh and that was kind of her breakthrough to america when

[35:43] when she did those movies but like she started out doing sketch comedy like she has a comedy

[35:47] background she's very funny that's why she's so good in late night your favorite movie

[35:50] uh god damn that movie is so bad like i haven't seen it i like the people involved but it gets

[35:58] everything wrong about about working as a late night writer dan you told me you were up you were

[36:05] up till 4 a.m for a whole week just updating the goofs section on imdb no i just like i watched it

[36:11] because like around like it you know it showed up on amazon and just around the daily show office

[36:16] there was this like quiet buzz among some of the writers like have you seen this yet have you seen

[36:21] it like it was you know not since studio 60 on the sunset strip uh have uh late night writers

[36:26] hate watched a thing i remember those years when i remember when studio 60 was was all the rage

[36:32] around those offices yeah that was that was a fun time okay so m and h they are h and m as i'll call

[36:38] them because if you need if it's stylish but it's cheap you know it's like you can finally afford

[36:43] style thanks stewart i can't tell whether that was genuine or not from stewart no it was not i

[36:49] don't think so i think stewart started off faking a laugh and then started laughing at his own fake

[36:53] laugh and so it turned genuine so they go to a literal underground club it's literally under

[36:57] the ground where fungus is just hanging out all alone this guy filled with people filled with

[37:01] human beings human beings and aliens these guys that this guy who has been assigned a chaperone

[37:07] because he's a target of assassination is hanging out of the club by himself with no security and

[37:12] And Vungus instantly is horndogging all over M.

[37:14] But then suddenly Vungus is all business.

[37:16] And he needs to tell H something.

[37:18] But H is like, no, let's come on.

[37:19] Let's dance.

[37:19] And Vungus is like, you've changed, H.

[37:21] That's when lay twins come in.

[37:23] They break dance all over the place.

[37:24] And they shoot this little, like, assassin missile at Vungus.

[37:27] And he gets sick.

[37:27] And H, because it's his job to chaperone Vungus, puts him in a car and sends him home.

[37:32] And then the car blows up.

[37:33] It's like you've failed at every aspect of the job.

[37:36] Did the car blow up from the thing those guys shot him with?

[37:39] Or was that just completely unrelated?

[37:41] I couldn't figure it out, and I'm glad you guys had the same question because I was like, maybe I looked away.

[37:46] Especially because if it was shot into him, it seems like if it blew up, it should blow him up.

[37:51] But he is intact.

[37:52] He, like, dies a little bit after that, and the car blows up.

[37:56] I also want to—this is a very small thing that I'm going to talk about now, but, like, you know, what is this podcast for if not that?

[38:03] They make a big point in the script.

[38:06] Like, Chris Hemsworth is like, vodka cranberry, that's your drink still, right?

[38:10] Vodka cranberry?

[38:11] And he comes back only with champagne from the bar.

[38:15] And I'm like, why would you make a point of having a specific drink that is like vivid red?

[38:21] Why would you do?

[38:22] Anyway, sorry.

[38:23] I'm surprised that Stuart didn't have an issue with that since he works in the liquor trade.

[38:28] By the way, that's not listed on the goofs in IMDb, I checked.

[38:31] So if any enterprising listener wants to.

[38:34] What does that mean you work in the liquor trade?

[38:37] I own a couple of bars in Brooklyn.

[38:40] Oh, that's right.

[38:41] He sails a boat off the Barbary Coast.

[38:44] I know you have bars, but that's somehow or another the phrase, the liquor trade.

[38:51] It just sounded so Jack Sparrow.

[38:54] It's like, wait, what do you do?

[38:56] Yeah, I hit people on the head with coconuts.

[39:01] When you think about it, the Black Pearl from Pirates of the Caribbean was the original party boat, when you think about it.

[39:07] I'm not going to think about it.

[39:10] okay i mean i can't force you to so so they they have like a pretty pro uh protracted battle out

[39:16] in the street where our heroes are blasting these two dancing uh energy beings um and they just keep

[39:23] pulling guns out of the car that was pretty cool it was like a lego set that turns into guns there's

[39:27] a funny bit where they keep pulling pieces off of this car to reveal larger and larger laser guns

[39:32] uh and i gotta say i will say i will say there i did have an issue with the scene where the two

[39:37] men in black they they start this off with uh at gunpoint telling these two men of color to get

[39:43] down on the ground and get their hands on the ground and i was like not good optics for right

[39:47] now men in black international but yeah once you know that they can blow up the ground with their

[39:51] hands then it's like okay this is not a this is not a fair fight they are that was energy it is

[39:57] interesting how these things age you know in in light of well first of all i'm saying this as a

[40:03] white person who wasn't always thinking about this at top of mind for sure but in men in black

[40:11] three will smith is stopped because two police officers don't know it he's back in 1969 and he

[40:20] stopped because they can't believe a black man would be driving an expensive car and own it and

[40:26] it wouldn't be stolen and he says something like when don't stop black men for driving nice cars

[40:32] or whatever and you know like my my uh i just sort of my heart stopped for a minute and you know i

[40:39] mean of course i again like i that that wasn't top of it would be top of mind for many other

[40:47] viewers always but uh it is a strange uh um thing i think how much and this is to be seen in the

[40:56] future are times we're living in will affect how you know depictions of of entertainment it'll be

[41:03] interesting to see the entertainment that emerges i feel like we're in such a transformative time

[41:09] it's going to be interesting to see what comes out of this it must be really tough to be an

[41:15] entertainment executive and have to be like oh no are we going to accidentally make people mad

[41:20] because we had this scene in The Mandalorian

[41:23] where Baby Yoda's just jacking it.

[41:24] I mean, I haven't seen season two yet, or season one.

[41:29] Does that happen?

[41:30] I mean, it might happen, Elliot.

[41:32] I haven't watched season two yet.

[41:33] I mean, I guess when Baby Yoda becomes Adolescent Yoda...

[41:36] And it was probably fine when they made it,

[41:38] but maybe in the future, opinions might change.

[41:41] You never know.

[41:42] No, I just actually...

[41:44] I can't even believe I'm just saying this.

[41:46] I just had a kickoff call on a script I'm writing

[41:49] with bird network and i forgot to ask uh what universe we're in in terms of covid not covid

[41:57] covid post covid i i i've got to call the producers on monday i i don't know i you know how how do you

[42:07] just not deal with that yeah it's hard it's hard like the show i'm working on now it's an animated

[42:11] show so it's not going to be on the air until spring of next year and like we were just like

[42:16] okay that for the purposes of this show it's just what what life used to be like yeah and hopefully

[42:22] it'll be like that again like i i wrote an episode where it's fourth of july at the beach and there's

[42:26] just a ton of people around and it was like all right okay i'm not like uh i just have to pretend

[42:32] this is an alternate universe where covid is not keeping things like that from happening oh so

[42:36] you're not like writing characters like so-and-so's name and then in in uh parentheses wearing a mask

[42:43] Yeah, no.

[42:43] 30s, sassy and clever, wearing a mask.

[42:49] Like, that's all the character description.

[42:50] Well, I'm sure that all the listeners are interested in this non-Men in Black inside baseball.

[42:54] But what's going on in the movie?

[42:55] All right.

[42:56] So anyway, a bunch of Men in Black guys show up and stop these energy beings,

[43:00] but not until Vungis tells Em secretly that something is wrong at the Men in Black

[43:04] and gives her a crystal device, and then he dies.

[43:07] And she goes, what is this?

[43:08] And he's like, the only thing that can save you, ugh, or something like that.

[43:11] And a ton of agents show up, and the energy dudes disappear.

[43:15] Could I just say just a little lesson to—I just want to, you know—for people in movies who are about to die, you know, maybe take my online—

[43:25] Oh, good. A lot of them will hear this. Yeah.

[43:28] Yeah. Take my correspondence course, which is what to say when you're about to die, which is not something cryptic.

[43:36] It's a bit like that's the—to boil down my course to one sentence, don't say something cryptic.

[43:41] No, you want to say something like, check, please, and then die.

[43:44] Like, something memorable and funny.

[43:46] What should a character say?

[43:48] I'd like to hear this.

[43:49] No, I mean, like, say the Horde has infiltrated Men in Black.

[43:57] Use this, the Hive, use this to kill them.

[44:01] Then she would have said the Horde from She-Ra, Princess of Power?

[44:03] Or Split.

[44:05] The point is, you know, actually give instructions.

[44:08] Explain why you were giving this to them and give instructions.

[44:11] Don't just be like, this is the only thing to keep you safe.

[44:15] I will not hand over the instruction booklet that's also in my other pocket.

[44:19] It's possible that character has been a Dungeon Master in role-playing games,

[44:25] and it's like, I don't want to railroad you, so I won't tell you what to do.

[44:29] It's similar that I would like movie characters who are revealing big secrets

[44:37] to also do that similarly, where it's like,

[44:39] If this movie was about someone finding out there's aliens and a government agent's like, this goes farther than you think.

[44:45] There's a bigger world out there.

[44:46] Just tell me there's a bunch of aliens.

[44:48] Like, just tell me the thing you wanted to tell me, you know?

[44:50] Or if you're like having like a romantic argument, don't just be like, Catherine, Catherine, wait, Catherine, Catherine.

[44:57] Be like, hey, I didn't sleep with her.

[44:59] Like, she was my cousin.

[45:00] Like, whatever the fucking dumb romantic complication is.

[45:05] Don't just be like, but if you'll just give me, but can you, but.

[45:08] you're saying don't waste time saying i can explain just say the explanation just say the

[45:12] thing just tell them that you were rehearsing for a play anyway so exactly i don't think it's

[45:17] katherine's fault though i mean you left the door unlocked it was a really weird situation like the

[45:21] lights were low and you had that one that one thing i'm not gonna relitigate this with you

[45:25] stefan or stefan stewart why did i call you stefan my other friend who starts with an st

[45:31] stefan is your pet name for sue i mean you haven't known each other that long it's only

[45:35] me what about 25 years my new erotic fiction uh writing but same last name right still stephen

[45:43] wellington i'm throwing people off the scent because they'd be like if stewart actually had

[45:48] a pen name he would probably change the last name so this can't be him and what kind of erotic fan

[45:53] fiction is it fictions this is dinosaur fiction swamp monster fiction that kind of stuff caveman

[45:57] i mean it's to be honest it's mainly uh it's like slice of life stuff and it's a lot of it's

[46:02] mainly misunderstandings there's actually no erotic stuff happening no i think uh stephan

[46:08] wellington writes twilight fan fiction oh wow and maybe it could be about say like a young woman

[46:16] who starts uh gets a job working for like a high-powered rich guy and bdsm is involved maybe

[46:24] i don't know we'll figure it out i'm still working on it no sorry stewart it's called shop girl by

[46:29] steve martin it's been written all right so anyway also stir it you miss you you mispronounce slice

[46:33] of drive i assume you're writing slice of drive that's a call back to what the whatever that was

[46:39] a a different hemsworth who did that who has did that movie right yeah so i have no i have no

[46:44] recollection i just remember that we did we did a movie about a where that was i think a liam

[46:48] hemsworth vehicle that richard dreyfus was in in which we pitched a movie called slice slice of

[46:52] where it's just richard drives his normal life okay so back at hq uh there's an agent c who

[46:59] hates agent h and he's like yeah and he's like you and m should be fired and t is like no no no

[47:05] the hive might be involved in this and m trying to think fast to save their jobs is like i think

[47:10] there might be a mole in the men in black and h and me and uh they're like okay c you and m work

[47:15] together h you're on probation and h is like got it and then walks over to c and m is like i'm in

[47:20] charge uh m come with me i think you're right about this you're doing this summary and just

[47:24] listing their the first letter of the names feels like i'm reading a reddit am i the asshole thread

[47:29] yeah we might have to use their actor names i also want to say rape small i found very funny

[47:36] in this and i liked him and hemsworth's uh back and forth i i thought he was always good he's

[47:41] when is he not great he's just like an original human being it's just so much fun to watch you

[47:48] know or a small a lot a very large hamster oh yeah either either of the two oh you know what

[47:55] and i forgot he was also in another flop house movie jurassic world fallen kingdom so anyway

[47:59] this is second for rave spall uh so we've got a lot of we've got a lot of seconds at this one

[48:04] so uh where our hero's gonna go marrakesh they've got to find the people who made the weapon that

[48:09] killed vungus first i don't know why they stop off at a guy who has an alien that he wears as a beard

[48:14] and they're fixing the hover bike.

[48:16] Played by Nandor

[48:17] from What We Do in the Shadows.

[48:19] Oh, right.

[48:20] That's who that is.

[48:21] I knew I recognized him

[48:22] and I, yeah.

[48:23] I did enjoy a scene

[48:25] where the alien was annoying him

[48:27] and he just keeps slapping

[48:28] his own beard.

[48:29] Yeah.

[48:30] Yeah, but it was like,

[48:32] it was just,

[48:33] I don't know why they made that stop.

[48:34] I don't understand.

[48:35] I guess maybe they had to

[48:36] find out information from him.

[48:37] They go to the workshop.

[48:39] They find that

[48:39] all of these little aliens

[48:41] have been murdered

[48:41] by the energy beings,

[48:43] we assume.

[48:44] All that's left is one tiny little pawn voiced by Kumail Nanjiani.

[48:48] Like many of the aliens in the movies, he is both unaware of certain Earth customs and very aware of Earth pop culture.

[48:56] So he knows all about the movie The Notebook, but he doesn't seem to understand that women in most Earth cultures are not monarchs that need vassals.

[49:06] yeah it's it's the laziest kind of character character like description where they're like

[49:11] we're gonna give this character a little bit but it's mainly going to be a joke delivery system

[49:15] which i mean if you're gonna get kumail nanjiani he's gonna be good at it at least he's gonna be

[49:19] good at it i mean he this he's the movie's alf i guess where it's like i don't understand these

[49:23] human customs let me tell you about richard gear you know and he look he looks i mean he's smaller

[49:28] but he looks a little bit like a babu frick except for he talks like kumail nanjiani instead of like

[49:33] hey it's me babu frick no no babu babu frick was such it was such an original wonder he was he was

[49:39] so great he made no pop culture references because of course that was the star wars universe but he

[49:43] babu frick as i said my second favorite character from that movie after the chimp with a cyclops

[49:47] visor who fixes uh kylo ren's helmet anyway uh if there was a there's a babu frick uh chimp with

[49:56] cyclops visor spinoff i'd watch that for sure so uh h convinces the pawn you should be you m should

[50:02] be your new queen because for some reason we've decided we want you with us and h reveals that

[50:08] he took uh the crystal device that vungus had given to m because i forgot to mention m had

[50:14] handed it over to the men in black to for safekeeping it's a mcguffin it's just you know

[50:19] she's got a crystal mcguffin in her pocket uh just like that uh my name is crystal mcguffin

[50:25] let me i'm let me just get into your pocket for a moment this is what i do professionally it's okay

[50:31] uh suddenly uh c is like i don't trust those guys and he sends a team of agents to marrakesh to

[50:37] catch our heroes then the energy aliens show up leading to perhaps if i was going to describe

[50:43] hover bike chase through the marrakesh street market you would imagine something pretty fun

[50:48] it is yeah fairly lackluster it is it does not do great by the long uh tradition of arab street

[50:55] market uh chase scenes yeah can i briefly say the the action in the movie not not very good as a

[51:01] rule i do think that the effects are fun usually like it looks pretty good it's a fun yeah it looks

[51:08] fine it's in the men in black zany alien universe and none of it looks bad in a way that like with

[51:16] that in mind annabelle how did you feel about the action and the special effects in men in black 3

[51:21] a movie that i have not seen yet i felt very meh about it i mean i just i just felt like i mean

[51:29] the funny thing is is there's a motorbike chase that is not that exciting in men in black three

[51:35] it echoes it echoes through time it's like somewhere in time and uh it's like it's it's

[51:46] you know they're just it's just not i don't know it just it's not popping for me you know just

[51:54] it just all paled from the first men in black which just seemed to have some real spark of

[52:02] like something fresh to that universe to that universe of films to that genre and it feels

[52:08] it had uh barry sonnenfeld at the helm right he well he did this he did the second one too i think

[52:13] uh-huh i don't know if he did it but like that that first movie it was like they really

[52:17] did that premise right and they found all these like different ways to have fun with it and they

[52:22] it was like they squeezed all the juice that vincent d'onofrio delivers like an all-timer

[52:27] performance i mean you're not going to get a better villain than vincent d'onofrio playing

[52:30] a dead body with a cockroach alien inside of it and he moves so well as if he's a dead

[52:35] but he's so good at it.

[52:37] He'd do that in his sleep.

[52:38] Yeah.

[52:39] It just leaves you wishing it was better.

[52:44] That's the most dissatisfying kind of movie.

[52:48] I checked it.

[52:49] Barry Sonnenfeld did all of the Men in Blacks.

[52:53] I think that we forget,

[52:54] he came onto the scene really, really strongly,

[52:57] which means that we forget

[53:00] that he also has done a lot of terrible stuff.

[53:02] He came onto the scene,

[53:04] He did the Addams Family movies.

[53:05] He did Get Shorty.

[53:06] He did Men in Black.

[53:07] But he also did Wild Wild West, Big Trouble, Men in Black 2, the Cat movie with Nine Lives.

[53:17] Like, he's been on a pretty big downward slide for a while, unfortunately.

[53:23] Because I did like a lot of his early movies quite a bit.

[53:26] Yeah, I just watched Addams Family Values the other night.

[53:29] It's amazing.

[53:29] It's great.

[53:30] That's a great sequel to a great original.

[53:33] And Get Shorty is a lot of fun too.

[53:34] Yeah, Get Shorty is fantastic.

[53:35] That's a movie.

[53:36] Get Shorty is a movie I could watch, I think, every single day.

[53:39] And I would enjoy it every single time.

[53:41] What a good movie.

[53:42] We should do an episode about Get Shorty and how good it is.

[53:45] I mean, we could do a good movie.

[53:48] I would actually watch that.

[53:50] So our heroes manage to escape because they use the hyperdrive on the hoverbike.

[53:58] Not as exciting as it is.

[53:59] Or to this movie.

[54:00] Wait, there's more.

[54:01] Oh, there's more.

[54:02] Yeah, we have not reached the end yet.

[54:03] No.

[54:04] They end up in the desert.

[54:06] They smash the bike.

[54:07] They find out that the crystal is actually a super gun powered by a blue dwarf star.

[54:12] It's disappointing that it just turns out to be a big gun, but it's a very powerful gun.

[54:16] It blows a big chasm in the desert.

[54:17] Meanwhile—

[54:18] I can only imagine the, like, environmental repercussions that making a giant chasm in the desert is going to cause for the local, like, ecosystem.

[54:24] Oh, it's—I mean, it's already a desert, so—but I'm sure there are life forms there.

[54:28] You know, it's—life finds a way, as was said in the movie.

[54:32] well just by kicking up all that debris into the atmosphere like it's going to cause some problems

[54:36] you know oh that's true it'll block out it'll it'll be a year without us without a summer and

[54:39] crops will fail all around the globe yeah i liked i liked the i liked that goof that i i don't did

[54:45] i do it on the goofs episode the jurassic park one where like someone the goof was like you know

[54:50] dr malcolm says life finds a way this is not chaos theory and if that was an explanation nothing would

[54:56] be extinct like yeah you're right it's a dumb line really when you think about it that's true

[55:02] uh it was delivered by jeff goldblum so it's hard yeah exactly you know yeah yeah so h is like why

[55:08] did fungus give you that weapon and not me and m is like fungus said you changed h the beard alien

[55:13] from earlier shows up steals her crystal weapon and flies off uh and h is like well there's only

[55:18] one place that beard alien is going to take the weapon to my ex-girlfriend intergalactic arms

[55:22] dealer RZA Stavros the merchant of death and when they kept talking about RZA and I'm like he was

[55:28] dating Bobby Digital I mean that would have been amazing I would have liked that a lot uh and M

[55:35] admits that Molly admits she's never been in love where are they gonna go to RZA's island fortress

[55:39] off the coast of Naples uh this is when you're like okay so they just wanted to they wanted to

[55:44] go to pretty places to to go to hang out actually I mean one thing about this movie I actually feel

[55:50] Like, maybe I should just watch it with the sound off just to see places.

[55:53] Oh, yeah.

[55:55] I've gotten kind of hooked right now on binge-watching shows that take place in remote locations in England.

[56:05] Yeah.

[56:07] I will say that I did have the thought while watching this movie, like, maybe I'm being more easy on this movie because it is, being Men in Black International, they are traveling the world.

[56:17] And I'm like, well, that's a thing I can't do right now.

[56:19] yeah

[56:19] it's fun to watch

[56:20] unlike I mean

[56:21] because at home

[56:21] now you're just

[56:22] catching aliens

[56:23] and blanking out

[56:24] people's memories

[56:24] in your apartment

[56:25] you really miss

[56:26] doing that in other places

[56:27] just walking into

[56:28] the bathroom

[56:29] and being like

[56:29] okay

[56:30] all the aliens

[56:31] come out

[56:31] I think everybody here

[56:33] would like to sign up

[56:34] to be neuralized

[56:35] for 2020

[56:36] you know what I mean

[56:37] get this year

[56:38] wiped out of our heads

[56:39] right

[56:40] you know what I mean

[56:41] yeah you're right Stu

[56:42] anyway so

[56:43] long story short

[56:44] it is not

[56:45] the hip hop legend

[56:46] RZA

[56:46] that they are going to see

[56:48] but of course

[56:48] RZA Stavros, played by Rebecca Ferguson, and she is like, they try to sneak into her

[56:55] fortress, H tries to charm her way in, they both get caught, and they're fighting each

[56:59] other, and then it turns out that the alien thug that H is fighting, who works for RZA,

[57:04] it's the same alien that Molly helped escape when she was a little girl, and so he helps

[57:10] them get the Stargun crystal weapon back from RZA.

[57:13] And you glossed over RZA's three-armed fighting technique, which was pretty cool, kind of like Shiva from the Mortal Kombat movie.

[57:21] That's true.

[57:21] They're kind of like movies, they're so advanced, you know, the graphics are so killer.

[57:26] Or Spiral from the X-Men comics.

[57:29] It was the kind of movie where I feel like both Tessa Thompson and the movie kept forgetting that RZA has three arms, and then she'd suddenly remember and use it to fight with.

[57:37] I did like the line, though, that you didn't mention here, where Tessa Thompson—

[57:43] I can't reenact the whole movie, Dan.

[57:44] No, no, no.

[57:45] I've got to skip some of the dialogue.

[57:46] I'm just specifying that Tessa Thompson, you know, like, says back to the alien the thing that the alien said in alien language when she was young to be like, oh, I'm the same—and he's like, what?

[57:58] And she asks what it is afterwards, and he's like, oh, it means I will—thank you.

[58:05] I will kill whoever you want me to in a protracted and violent manner or something like that whenever you ask me.

[58:11] I'm like, that's hilarious that that was the promise he made to this young girl that she didn't understand.

[58:16] So the joke I laughed at during the movie was when Tessa wants to drive a car.

[58:21] She wants to drive the car, and Chris Hemsworth is like, I'm going to drive.

[58:24] And Tessa Thompson races ahead of him and gets into what in America would be the driver's side seat and then is actually the passenger side seat because they're in England.

[58:31] I was like, that's a funny joke.

[58:32] I like that.

[58:32] Yeah, I liked it.

[58:34] So anyway, H and M, they're now friends.

[58:36] They tell each other their first names.

[58:37] I don't remember what H's first name was.

[58:39] But then the hives show up.

[58:41] Uh-oh, it's those energy aliens, and they want that weapon.

[58:44] And Chris Hemsworth gives a speech.

[58:45] He's like, we'll do whatever it takes to keep our planet safe.

[58:47] And the aliens go, we will too.

[58:49] That's when the MIB agents show up and blow up the energy aliens.

[58:52] They're not in the movie anymore.

[58:53] And Molly gives tea, Liam Neeson the crystal.

[58:56] But there's still 20-some-odd minutes left in the movie.

[58:59] So we know the day hasn't been saved yet.

[59:01] What's going to happen?

[59:02] We also know the movie's not over because we've seen movies before.

[59:05] And when we're watching this, Audrey's like, do you think Liam Neeson's going to turn out to be the bad guy?

[59:11] And this is before all...

[59:13] I'm like, the moment Liam Neeson came on screen, I'm like, he's the bad guy.

[59:17] Like, before we knew there was a mole in the Men in Black, this is the bad guy.

[59:22] It's a real Ed Harrison geostorm situation.

[59:24] Yeah.

[59:25] Unless Liam Neeson's family's taken, he's probably the bad guy.

[59:29] Unless there's wolves in the movie, Liam Neeson's probably the bad guy.

[59:33] How disappointing was that movie that in the trailers, they made a big deal out of him

[59:38] breaking those airplane mini bottles and strapping them to his knuckles so he could fight a wolf.

[59:42] And that's the last minute of the movie.

[59:44] Like, that's the end of the movie.

[59:46] What a disappointment.

[59:48] I was like, this movie's going to be fun.

[59:49] And it's these guys dying slowly in the winter, and then finally he fights a wolf.

[59:54] Anyway, it happens off camera.

[59:56] It's like Meet Joe Black.

[59:58] Like, you meet him pretty early on, right?

[59:59] And then you're like, fuck it.

[1:00:00] Do I have to watch the rest of the movie now?

[1:00:02] So they're back at MIB HQ.

[1:00:07] That's a lot of letters.

[1:00:08] Everyone's celebrating, but M and H suspect something is up.

[1:00:10] And they and C realize that T is a mole.

[1:00:12] More letters, guys.

[1:00:13] And that he's planning to give the Stargun to the Hive.

[1:00:18] And H is like, if everyone knows that T has betrayed the Men in Black,

[1:00:22] he's the most decorated Men in Black agent, it would ruin morale.

[1:00:25] Which is crazy, because you're like,

[1:00:26] What about Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones

[1:00:28] from the earlier movies?

[1:00:29] They were huge.

[1:00:30] Exactly.

[1:00:31] So maybe they don't exist in this reality.

[1:00:33] So he and Em go to Paris.

[1:00:35] I feel like the previous movies

[1:00:37] have been neuralized out of my head, you know?

[1:00:39] And Tessa Thompson helps Chris Hemsworth realize

[1:00:42] he didn't stop the Hive years ago.

[1:00:43] He was neuralized by T

[1:00:45] when T got taken over by the Hive.

[1:00:47] And they confront T and he's just a bad guy now

[1:00:50] and he opens a portal for the Hive

[1:00:51] and he turns into a big tentacle monster

[1:00:53] and they fight and Motley gets knocked into the portal

[1:00:56] and then camille nangiani's pawn character they remember he's there he saves her and h is like t

[1:01:01] i know there's still a man in there give me the weapon help me save the day you said i was like a

[1:01:05] son to you and t in a moment of humanity gives the crystal weapon back to h and molly repays this

[1:01:11] moment of humanity by using that gun to blow the shit out of liam neeson and then and the laser

[1:01:16] just goes through the wormhole and i think destroys the hive planet so she's committed

[1:01:20] genocide in this last minute you know well yeah and i also assumed like when you showed that moment

[1:01:25] of humanity i'm like oh she's gonna shoot into the portal and liam neeson is gonna be released

[1:01:29] but no yeah she blasts the shot right through him okay so because i'm never gonna see this movie

[1:01:36] not in this lifetime unless pandemic goes on okay i might see it next week okay so wait a minute um

[1:01:44] i just need to know what happens when liam neeson is revealed to be the alien is it like a total

[1:01:51] alien creature or is it part liam neeson part alien because i did a movie once where i turned

[1:01:57] into an alien and i hadn't made the script entirely and so i didn't realize that it was like me

[1:02:04] turning into the alien until the day they we showed up and they're like okay what's your best

[1:02:09] alien voice and i was like oh i read this only with my character name i never read the part

[1:02:15] where i turned i didn't realize i was the alien i was such an idiot so you've had all this time

[1:02:21] you're gonna this is the day is this going to be the debut of that alien voice are you going to

[1:02:24] give us a taste okay so yeah it was a roger corman movie let me just put it that way uh

[1:02:31] oh yeah really excellent and uh by the way in order to turn into the alien

[1:02:38] i had to disrobe so the alien could come back because the alien couldn't get through clothes

[1:02:45] it was a i guess a powerful alien but clothes were a problem yeah so powerful that my clothes

[1:02:50] it was a roger parkman movie and so i mean i really did not have an alien voice ready and i

[1:02:57] had to wear like eye contacts they put the eye contacts in and it was just and so i just kind

[1:03:03] of growled i mean i have to say i really did not get i did not have the imagination that i have now

[1:03:10] also having seen the men in black movies yeah now you know what aliens are like they're like

[1:03:15] hey come on what's this all about yeah they all sound like that yeah i could have really gone

[1:03:20] just like really high pitched or weird but it was more like like i don't know it was so stupid

[1:03:26] it was i really i could go back in time and fix it i know that movie that roger corman movie could

[1:03:34] have been great so this you'll be happy to know that uh as soon as liam neeson turns into an

[1:03:42] alien it's all cgi all the time he never had to get into any makeup or prosthetics and i don't

[1:03:47] think he even talks after that he just growls he did one of those insist on taking his clothes off

[1:03:51] though that's true yeah he does he does disrobe and it takes a while like he's doing a real it's

[1:03:57] a real striptease yeah yeah he's twirling his eye contact with the camera the whole time too which

[1:04:02] makes you very uncomfortable as a viewer yeah he keeps saying he's daring you that day when i showed

[1:04:09] up on set like to my dressing room my costume was in my room and it was just a pair of earrings and

[1:04:14] a skirt oh that's terrible so movie's almost over they've defeated the hive probably eliminated that

[1:04:22] race from the universe uh oh shows up at the scene which is again the eiffel tower and she's like i

[1:04:28] always suspected something was going on with the london branch it's like well good thing you never

[1:04:31] looked into it uh and you sent your new recruit to like ferret out the mole apparently but and

[1:04:38] And she's like, M, you're now an official agent.

[1:04:40] You get the neuralyzer.

[1:04:41] And it's like, yeah, she's proved herself now, right?

[1:04:44] She saved the world.

[1:04:44] And H is named the probationary head of the London branch, even though it seems like he is the wrong guy for this job.

[1:04:51] It seems like if anyone should get that job that we've met, it's C, who seems like more of an administrator.

[1:04:56] And H, whose main skills seem to be drinking and getting into fights that he barely gets out of, should not be running an operation.

[1:05:03] He's being promoted above his particular skill set.

[1:05:07] Yeah, like sometimes a really great comedy writer might not be the best manager of, like, a team of comedy writers, right?

[1:05:13] I'm just trying to give you guys, you know, something to latch on to.

[1:05:17] It's often the case.

[1:05:18] So M is assigned to the New York office.

[1:05:21] It's a bittersweet goodbye between H and M.

[1:05:23] But later that morning, I guess, it's like daybreak, M picks up H in his car.

[1:05:28] I guess he was just hanging around, thinking about all his new responsibilities.

[1:05:31] And she says she's assigning Pawnee, the Kumail Nanjiani tiny alien, to keep an eye on H.

[1:05:37] So he's just going to hang out with H.

[1:05:38] And he's like, let me tell you how to drive that car,

[1:05:41] this flying car that I forgot to mention they have.

[1:05:43] And she goes, I'm going to follow my gut.

[1:05:45] And it's like, that's what he told her to do is follow her gut.

[1:05:48] And then there are over 10 minutes of end credits.

[1:05:51] So the movie is shorter than I thought it would be.

[1:05:53] I fast forwarded through because we were like, oh, surely,

[1:05:56] if any movie has an end credits thing or some bloops, it'll be this one.

[1:06:01] It's going to have Rebecca Ferguson being like,

[1:06:03] I want my revenge on H or something like that.

[1:06:06] But they didn't have anything.

[1:06:07] Nothing.

[1:06:07] I think there have been enough possible franchise starters

[1:06:12] that had those end credit scenes

[1:06:14] and then there were no sequels

[1:06:15] that they're just like, let's take them out.

[1:06:16] Let's not put them in the movies anymore.

[1:06:17] It's so interesting that this movie

[1:06:19] completely ignores Tommy Lee Jones

[1:06:23] and Will Smith's characters

[1:06:24] because they don't really explain

[1:06:26] the premise of Men in Black to anybody.

[1:06:29] So they assume you already know,

[1:06:30] but then they also like, it's just so weird.

[1:06:34] Okay.

[1:06:36] OK, well, this is where we get to final judgments, where we say whether this is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie or a movie we kind of like.

[1:06:44] Annabelle, I will allow you to give your final judgment, of course, on Men in Black 3, the film that you have now watched twice.

[1:06:53] And of all the things, I'm sorry that you had to watch it twice because of this.

[1:06:59] But what would you say about that movie?

[1:07:01] Wait, give me my exact choices again.

[1:07:05] If it's a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or something you kind of liked.

[1:07:09] I'm going to say a bad bad movie.

[1:07:12] Okay.

[1:07:12] Okay, well, sorry, Tommy Lee Jones.

[1:07:17] Well, I guess it was mostly Josh Brolin.

[1:07:19] Sorry, Josh Brolin and Will Smith.

[1:07:20] What if it was Josh Groban who was playing a young Tommy Lee Jones?

[1:07:24] That would be interesting casting.

[1:07:25] Interesting.

[1:07:27] More singing, I'd imagine.

[1:07:29] Probably more singing.

[1:07:31] Although, I don't know, maybe Josh Brolin can sing.

[1:07:34] I don't know. I've never I've never heard him try.

[1:07:36] I don't know that that could have saved the script, because, again, it was that, you know, pulling at your heartstrings movie that I just I just want my fun in this in this in this series.

[1:07:50] So I mean, that was my vote on the movie that I watched incorrectly.

[1:07:54] Yeah. Well, speaking of fun, I'll give my judgment, which I assume will be slightly different than my co-hosts based on a little texting we did beforehand.

[1:08:05] Let's pull back the curtain and say, audience members, Dan likes to, instead of saving his thoughts until the podcast, he likes to text us immediately before recording and tell us what he thought about the movie.

[1:08:18] To get us warmed up, dude, to prime the pump.

[1:08:20] And then if we disagree with him, he's like, let's argue this out over the text right now.

[1:08:23] And I'm like, we're about to do this on a podcast.

[1:08:25] Like, let's save it.

[1:08:26] I didn't argue it out over the text.

[1:08:28] Yeah, no, I mean, it's going to be a surprise for the listener.

[1:08:35] I don't need it to be a surprise for you guys.

[1:08:37] Fair, fair.

[1:08:38] Why get a genuine reaction?

[1:08:40] Sure.

[1:08:40] Okay.

[1:08:41] But you're saying?

[1:08:41] No, I kind of like this movie.

[1:08:45] like talking about just like fun like look i understand why this wasn't received like super

[1:08:54] well and i get where like maybe if i saw it in the theater i would be more down on it whereas

[1:08:59] i saw it on a sunday morning at home and i'm like okay this is fun um but yeah i also look

[1:09:07] i'll say something controversial i like the original men in black i don't like it as much

[1:09:12] as the world seems to like men in black like i find it uh time to remain dan's letterbox profile

[1:09:20] no it's dan just get ready for that just get ready for the hate mail i know everyone's gonna

[1:09:26] hate me i think it's good i think it's funny i think the leads are very good in it but

[1:09:30] i also i'm just like okay yeah like it seemed original as a movie i think because big blockbusters

[1:09:38] weren't as sort of casual about that stuff but then i don't even know if that's true i mean like

[1:09:45] like you know ghostbusters is a very silly uh big movie about special effects you've got stuff

[1:09:52] like beetlejuice which is just like wackadoo and i love it anyway so i i didn't have like this

[1:09:57] nostalgic attachment where i'm like they are ruining men in black i was just like oh i get

[1:10:01] to see my fun pals tessa and chris zip around and you know have fun and like i i i wonder i'm

[1:10:09] suspecting that elliot's problem is partly that uh they didn't react ever as if there were like

[1:10:16] any stakes to what was going on that it felt too light but i feel like that's always been part of

[1:10:22] men in black don't put words in my mouth dan don't put words in i'm just suspecting you have your

[1:10:27] chance now and you can say it now i i kind of liked it point by point rebuttal one men in black

[1:10:33] is the most original movie in the history of film number two well no it's so that but you mentioned

[1:10:38] ghostbusters like the excitement of men in black is probably that it's ghostbusters but with aliens

[1:10:41] like it's you've got basically what they did with ghostbusters but it's aliens instead of ghosts

[1:10:46] great i'm on board 100 with this it's not that they didn't have stakes is that it's a very thin

[1:10:51] movie there's not a lot going on and even in terms there's very many it feels like an episode of the

[1:10:55] men in black tv show that doesn't exist where it's like okay we gotta find this this we're supposed

[1:11:00] to protect this guy he has a mysterious object we lost it for a couple minutes we got it back

[1:11:05] there's a mole we saved the day there's there's just not very much going on and it's not yeah

[1:11:09] funny enough or charismatic enough to get like it is trying to be almost like the to catch a thief

[1:11:14] of men in black movies where you're like totally what i felt like yeah but it does but it doesn't

[1:11:19] achieve that because it's like not funny enough or exciting enough or i don't need a heavy duty

[1:11:23] plot like annabelle was saying like i don't need my heartstrings pulled when it's ghostbusters but

[1:11:27] with aliens but i want to have like a lot of funny jokes and crazy stuff zipping around that feels

[1:11:32] like uh a lot of effort was put into it almost like there it the whole movie kind of feels like

[1:11:38] um there what there's a lack of uh imagination you might call it and really what is film but

[1:11:45] imagination made flesh stuart continue oh wow uh so you didn't like it you're saying

[1:11:52] i gotta pick up from flesh right yes from the word i was to put into our categories that never

[1:11:59] really adequately helped me to rate a movie it's not i didn't really like it but it's not like a

[1:12:04] bad bad movie if like as i'll put it on my scale of if you're a kid and you're sick home from school

[1:12:09] go ahead and watch men in black international like it'll pass the time while you're eating

[1:12:13] like when you're sipping ginger ale and eating cheerios or whatever and just like

[1:12:17] the i believe we've established that gogurt is the thing that children

[1:12:20] dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets yeah but not when they're sick you just said if you're a kid

[1:12:26] who's home and sick and you're out of school like do you know that would say that must sound so good

[1:12:32] to so many people right now oh that's true like not anyway all right well then okay good point

[1:12:39] good point well if you've got two hours to kill uh you might you could watch men in black

[1:12:43] international but you could also watch movies that you're going to enjoy more so stewart if

[1:12:48] you've made it to the end of the internet you might want to watch yeah yeah uh yeah i'm kind

[1:12:56] of i'm i'm in the same boat as you elliot i think it's a hard movie to like it's a hard movie to be

[1:13:02] mad at but it's very it felt very slim and there's just and it felt very rote and not a lot

[1:13:10] of effort was put into it like there's a lot of scenes early on where they're like Tessa Thompson's

[1:13:14] character is like joining up and they could have just cut all that out like they didn't need to

[1:13:19] it didn't really I don't know you know it just well just the fact that it's like all my life I

[1:13:26] wanted to be one of the men in black but I can't even find out where they're supposed to be I found

[1:13:30] him can i join yes you can join okay great i was like can we get some complications you could just

[1:13:36] start with her joining like and just start if it's her first day she just showed up like because it's

[1:13:42] because it's it's also like we've really got we've really got to establish why this character wants

[1:13:45] to be a super cool secret spy who gets to work with aliens like no i would believe that i don't

[1:13:50] think you need to yeah well i will say i wouldn't say that there's a lack of effort i would say

[1:13:55] there's a lack of effort in the screenplay the screenplay is specifically what the problem is

[1:14:00] with this movie i think that the other stuff in the movie like everyone's doing their best with

[1:14:04] what they're given i think it looks pretty good like it's just the screenplay is not there yeah

[1:14:10] production wise it's fine yeah so that's dan mccoy says run don't walk to see men in black

[1:14:16] international uh annabelle says just don't go see men in black three

[1:14:20] the beef and dairy network is a multi-award-winning comedy podcast here on maximum fun

[1:14:33] and i would recommend you listen to it but don't just take it from me what do the listeners have

[1:14:38] to say i would rather stick a corkscrew inside my ear twist it around and pull out my ear canal

[1:14:44] like a cork then listen to your stupid podcast ever again please stop contacting me hell would

[1:14:49] freeze over before i recommended this podcast the beef and dairy network to anyone not in a million

[1:14:58] years actually scratch that um make it a billion years no how long's infinity that's the beef and

[1:15:05] dairy network podcast available at maximumfund.org and at all good and some bad podcast platforms

[1:15:11] disgusting hi i'm jackie cation hi i'm laurie kilmartin and we have a podcast called the jackie

[1:15:17] and laurie show who are you laurie kilmartin oh my god so much pressure uh sam a stand-up i've

[1:15:22] been doing stand-up since 1987 i'm a writer for conan i've written a couple books have a couple

[1:15:27] cds out have a special out who are you jackie well i too am a stand-up comic since 1984 and uh i do

[1:15:36] the road like a maniac and uh don't have a cool writing job but i have four albums out working on

[1:15:41] a new album we talk about stand-up we talk about uh all the different parts of stand-up comedy so

[1:15:47] that's the jackie and laurie show and you should subscribe on maximum fun if you want to hear that

[1:15:52] and i would encourage you not to

[1:15:54] unfortunately unfortunately annabelle can't join us for the rest of the episode is there anything

[1:16:00] you would like to plug or remind our audience about before you go uh yeah well yeah uh thank

[1:16:08] you for asking um you know uh comedian laura house and i we have this new little uh podcast

[1:16:15] called tiny victories um it's on maximum fun right here and uh yes why say it is and the thing about

[1:16:25] it is it's uh a tiny podcast it's 15 minutes long we don't we we limit ourselves to that

[1:16:34] and we have a we have it feels like a message is being sent to us possibly the most bloated

[1:16:39] podcast on max fun well also stewart is like clearly dreaming of a world there

[1:16:45] you can do that and the idea is that you know um we we try to highlight the very tiny

[1:16:58] inconsequential small mercies that are keeping us going during this uh you know uh

[1:17:06] uh a flaming piece of shit year and uh we have a criteria for what makes a tiny victory what

[1:17:15] makes a tiny victory is something that gives you joy or makes you feel like getting out of bed

[1:17:22] that is completely unnewsworthy that nobody it's inconsequential to the workings of the world

[1:17:29] like we have an episode about how i have found my happy place and it happens to be a traffic

[1:17:35] intersection in los angeles you know just just just the kind of tiny small observational

[1:17:42] uh things that are making it possible to survive laura house actually the episode we have another

[1:17:49] episode coming up where she her um fiance is a jazz trumpeter but she doesn't really like jazz

[1:17:56] and she has her first jazzgasm and she shares that with us oh cool i remember when i had my

[1:18:03] first jazz chasm uh-huh it's a young man i've had to fake so many jazz chasms it's yeah so uh that's

[1:18:12] the show you find is on maximum fun and uh and and that's it so i hope people will uh check it out

[1:18:18] uh actually we we have another episode we just we just recorded about um giving into hating the year

[1:18:25] 2020 and how satisfying that is because there's some really good merch uh yeah it's the i hate

[1:18:33] 2020 merch. It just can't be

[1:18:35] beat. So, yeah,

[1:18:36] that's our little

[1:18:39] endeavor, our little pandemic

[1:18:41] endeavor. That's great.

[1:18:43] Excellent.

[1:18:44] Thanks for coming on.

[1:18:46] Thanks for joining us.

[1:18:48] Thanks for giving me the opportunity

[1:18:51] to talk about movies.

[1:18:52] Well,

[1:18:54] we don't have

[1:18:56] any ads this

[1:18:59] episode, but we do have a couple of

[1:19:00] jumbotrons. We are mostly

[1:19:02] supported by listeners like you, but if you want to send a special

[1:19:06] message as a small business or just a personal

[1:19:10] message, you can go to MaximumFun.org. We're a regular-sized person.

[1:19:13] MaximumFun.org forward slash Jumbotron. Elliot, I'm trying to give the URL

[1:19:18] so they can buy an ad.

[1:19:20] We've got a couple of Jumbotrons. Elliot, why don't you go up

[1:19:26] first and read one? You got it. This Jumbotron says,

[1:19:30] MC University is the podcast companion to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

[1:19:34] Hosts Malcolm and Justin traverse each film to explore how the characters and worlds build and change over time.

[1:19:40] We can't agree on which Iron Man is more underrated or if the Avengers is masterful or messy,

[1:19:44] but we do have one small fix to make Thor The Dark World watchable.

[1:19:48] We promise a mix of in-depth analysis and dumb awards like Best Tricep Flex and Steve's First Lie.

[1:19:53] Listen to MC University wherever you get your podcasts.

[1:19:57] That's right, search for MC University, one word,

[1:19:59] wherever you get your podcasts, and subscribe.

[1:20:02] Man, I've got to find out about that tricep flex.

[1:20:05] Mm-hmm, yeah.

[1:20:06] Cool, and I have a j-j-j-jumbotron.

[1:20:10] It's Stuart's time to read, everybody.

[1:20:12] Clear the stage.

[1:20:13] This message is for James.

[1:20:17] This message is from Emma.

[1:20:19] Hey, butt, will you take care of Watson tonight?

[1:20:24] I'm tuckered out.

[1:20:26] Okay, thanks. Love always. Your Bug. P.S. Happy anniversary.

[1:20:32] That was adorable. Thank you.

[1:20:38] For a minute I was like, are they just using this as the bulletin board?

[1:20:43] That's fine, I guess.

[1:20:44] Please do.

[1:20:45] I see these before I send them to you guys,

[1:20:50] and uh and i like how this one had a note just specifying that but was not a a typo that they

[1:20:59] meant to say but um yeah i just want to give a little uh update um you know we had this uh

[1:21:07] this live show for exorcist to the heretic you can see that on our youtube channel it's up

[1:21:12] for all to enjoy uh the donation period slightly more crazy from having spent this much time

[1:21:20] and quarantine and whatnot uh there's the donation period for the raffle uh the charity raffle to get

[1:21:28] some flop house merch has ended i haven't chosen the winners randomly yet but i wanted to give

[1:21:35] everyone the totals um we got slightly more than 400 people uh donating so we're not going to do

[1:21:45] like an additional thing but we i'm sure are going to do more live events similar to this in the

[1:21:52] future um but money wise uh flop house listeners donated 31,715 dollars and 78 cents uh we are

[1:22:06] kicking in another 5,000 so almost wow you guys really killed it 37,000 to charity yeah that was

[1:22:15] that's amazing both times we've done this i've been just like floored and blown away by the

[1:22:21] generosity of flop house listeners and it really helps me to feel better about this show being

[1:22:27] otherwise a total pile of nonsense uh that our listeners have been so great at uh helping the

[1:22:34] world with us so thank you so much for doing that yeah um i just have a note on my thing when i was

[1:22:41] uh annabelle mentioned reddit uh and i wrote down reddit because i've been meaning to say

[1:22:47] uh max fun has a reddit uh if you unlike the rest of reddit it's not horrible i mean there's many

[1:22:54] nice corners on reddit but it's known for having not nice corners but the max fun corner is very

[1:23:00] good if you want to discuss the show but don't want to jump into our huge facebook group i just

[1:23:05] want to encourage people to get on reddit because i'm jealous of how many uh comments other shows

[1:23:10] get and so i want to crush them you know um but elliot i assume you have uh something you want

[1:23:16] to say about maybe a children's book or something that you've written or something i mean i can if

[1:23:20] you want i do have i do have a newish children's book out shark when hippo it's available in stores

[1:23:25] and online now order it through your local independent bookstore if you like the marks

[1:23:28] brothers and you have kids you might like shark when hippo it's me taking uh or let's say being

[1:23:33] inspired by uh the relationship between harpo and chico and bits they would do and in applying it

[1:23:38] to a story about a shark and a hippo the shark wants to go fishing and that hippo just will not

[1:23:42] give him the things that he is asking for it's available now and if you enjoy it and you haven't

[1:23:46] read my first book worst meets dog please do it's also available through your independent bookstore

[1:23:51] and online i'm one i'm i'm one of those things i don't have kids but i am a fan of the marks

[1:23:57] brothers i bought uh one just for myself and it's a lot of fun uh stewart do you want to say

[1:24:03] thanks dude personal plug yeah uh i own a couple of small bars in brooklyn new york and so if you

[1:24:12] live in new york or brooklyn and you want to support a local business uh we're doing limited

[1:24:17] seating and we also have to go drinks uh come support us and if you live in the united states

[1:24:23] uh we are also shipping out t-shirts and hoodies uh sales have been so good that we constantly have

[1:24:30] to reorder both of those things uh and i'm really blown away by everybody's generosity uh and for

[1:24:36] coming out to help uh it also means that uh i'm doing a lot of uh packing of shirts into envelopes

[1:24:42] and sometimes it feels like i'm trying to stick a dog in a bathtub but you know that's part of the

[1:24:46] fun uh and i also i mean as long as we're mentioning as long as we're mentioning stuff

[1:24:53] i wanted to say um elliot appeared on the next picture show recently oh wow talking about one

[1:25:01] of his favorite movies the cool that's a cool serious film podcast yeah that was a real serious

[1:25:08] film podcast and i think they were not always totally taken with my jokes but i listened to

[1:25:14] it they seem to be laughing at you a lot was it were their facial expressions yeah but i was

[1:25:21] invited on to talk about one of my favorite movies the fall uh because co-host tasha robinson's a big

[1:25:25] big fan of it and it was a great conversation about it if you haven't seen the movie the fall

[1:25:29] i highly recommend it but i think you'll still enjoy the conversation even if you haven't man

[1:25:34] i i would love to be on that show just to talk to tasha about her experiences with role-playing games

[1:25:39] because she's also a big role-playing game enthusiast it could happen you never know

[1:25:45] uh but let's move on to letters from listeners the first letter is from max last name withheld

[1:25:55] wait dan was saying here come the letter cues questions from the listeners oh yeah here come

[1:26:03] the letter cues we're gonna answer those questions it's the letter cues it's the letter cues here

[1:26:09] come the letter cues space stuff and then aliens too and we're kind of like secret police that have

[1:26:15] fancy technology and you don't need to know about them

[1:26:17] it's anti-democratic and it's a little bit scary

[1:26:19] when you think about the implications but we're stopping aliens

[1:26:21] these aliens sometimes they have

[1:26:23] like a head on a stick but it looks like a real

[1:26:25] person's head but it's actually a robot

[1:26:26] come the letter of cues

[1:26:28] speaking of

[1:26:30] men in black

[1:26:31] where do you think Chris Hemsworth

[1:26:35] had to go buy a suit

[1:26:37] to make his shoulders look that broad

[1:26:39] does he have to go

[1:26:41] to a special store like a big and broad store

[1:26:43] Buy a suit to make them look that broad?

[1:26:45] I'm pretty sure they're just that broad.

[1:26:46] Yeah, because he looks really great in those suits.

[1:26:48] Yeah, because he's a very, very, very handsome man

[1:26:51] who's in incredible shape.

[1:26:52] Well, I'll tell you his secret is that he went to Men's Warehouse

[1:26:55] and he liked the way he looked in his suit.

[1:26:57] His secret is he went to Men's Warehouse

[1:27:01] and then he said, wait, I'm a big Hollywood star.

[1:27:04] Hold on.

[1:27:05] And he left and he got a bespoke suit made for him.

[1:27:08] Yeah, and he went to a tailor.

[1:27:09] I will say Men's Warehouse is the place to go

[1:27:11] if you ever want to order a tuxedo

[1:27:13] and receive pants that are four sizes too large

[1:27:15] and look like you have elephant legs

[1:27:17] because that's what happened to me

[1:27:18] before my sister's wedding.

[1:27:20] Oh, that's so funny.

[1:27:21] Did it come with like a giant wallet chain?

[1:27:24] The guy was like, here's the outfit.

[1:27:28] And I was like, these look ridiculous.

[1:27:29] He's like, yeah, you look like a clown.

[1:27:31] I was like, are there any other pants?

[1:27:33] No, those are the only pants.

[1:27:35] So you started a revival swing band.

[1:27:39] Yeah, I had to.

[1:27:41] I had to do it, yeah.

[1:27:42] Hey, so Max writes,

[1:27:45] Dear Floppers, I've been thinking a lot about Bugsy Malone

[1:27:48] since Alan Parker's recent death.

[1:27:50] When I first saw it, I must have been about 10 years old, circa 1980.

[1:27:55] And among my cohort of tween boys,

[1:27:58] this movie was universally regarded as near perfect.

[1:28:01] No one would say it was as great as Star Wars, of course,

[1:28:04] because it fit into a different category.

[1:28:06] It was just an awesome movie made for us

[1:28:08] that we were too young to have seen in the theaters

[1:28:10] but that some had on vhs or caught on tv before the onslaught of early 80s movies designed to

[1:28:17] win us over like raiders et goonies gremlins etc bugsy malone existed to tempt us with the

[1:28:23] violence that we thought we wanted but instead gave us sweetness friendship and silliness that

[1:28:26] we really wanted now of course the movie is cloying and unwatchable and the sexualization

[1:28:32] of a too young jodie foster and the other showgirls is disturbing but what i would really

[1:28:36] like to see is a sequel featuring the original cast in a gritty neo-noir gangster drama about

[1:28:41] middle-aged nostalgia and loss it would need to include foster and another oscar-worthy turn as

[1:28:47] a now washed up talula real life convicted fraudster john cassie fat sam trying to return

[1:28:52] to an unfamiliar world after a long printed prison sentence and in a redeeming travolta and pulp

[1:28:58] fiction turn scott baio is an aging don who keeps getting pulled back into the rackets

[1:29:03] my question take a movie you love yeah impossible there's no redemption for him

[1:29:08] unredeemable yeah my question take a movie you loved when you were younger how would it have

[1:29:13] to be remade now to fit your current sensibilities life experiences and tastes thanks guys max last

[1:29:19] name withheld thank you for writing and max you know who would not like this question alan moore

[1:29:23] anyway dan what do you think uh i mean obviously i don't know there's so many movies i liked as a

[1:29:32] kid where i would just not necessarily change much other than like cutting out a few elements

[1:29:37] like i watched uh monster squad as part of the halloween marathon recently i'm like well

[1:29:42] there are like a couple of homophobic slurs up top that just can be snipped out

[1:29:47] no problem no need for them and the movie's great um but i think in general like it's just

[1:29:55] i don't know i mean there are movies

[1:29:57] i mean honestly i don't know that my sensibilities have changed that much i'm a big kid at heart i

[1:30:04] think we all know that uh but but there are things that i loved like time bandits as a kid that kind

[1:30:11] of like now even though and disclaimer uh i hate to have to do this because but like more and more

[1:30:17] of uh monty python i have to be like uh they're cranky old men who have bad views but uh but time

[1:30:23] bandits as a kid i loved it and now even though there's a lot in it i still love i'm baffled at

[1:30:29] my patience as a child like there's that whole sequence in the middle with the uh dearly recently

[1:30:37] departed sean connery that goes on for a long time and unlike the rest of the movie isn't

[1:30:43] particularly funny doesn't have a lot of visual interest and yeah oh see even as a kid i loved

[1:30:49] that whole the whole agamemnon sequence because it's about him finding a finding a father figure

[1:30:53] Yeah who abandons him at the end of the movie

[1:30:55] When his real parents blow up

[1:30:57] And he's alone in the world

[1:31:00] I mean they're not the same dude

[1:31:01] I don't think that Firefighter and Agamemnon

[1:31:04] Are the same dude

[1:31:05] It gives them a little wink of recognition at the end

[1:31:08] Well that's because he's creepy Sean Connery

[1:31:09] What do you guys have to say about this?

[1:31:13] I don't know

[1:31:14] Well it's interesting that there are certain things

[1:31:16] It's like I'm not

[1:31:17] I don't really want the things I liked as a kid

[1:31:19] Like grown up for me

[1:31:21] you know uh i am happier having them as kid stuff but like the way you talk about time

[1:31:27] bandits reminds me the way i used to watch godzilla movies when i was a kid

[1:31:29] where i would sit through who knows how many scenes of scientists just kind of talking

[1:31:34] or like government officials just not doing much of anything to get to the monster parts

[1:31:39] and it's like i want those scenes to be as exciting as the monster scenes luckily they

[1:31:44] did it it's called shin godzilla and it's awesome uh the funny thing is like i feel like with a lot

[1:31:51] of those movies and like with time bandits like i watched those movies a lot so like i know there's

[1:31:56] it's not just that i'm sitting through it because i know there's a monster later like

[1:32:00] i know there's a monster like i could just fast forward the tape but i didn't i just watched it

[1:32:05] yeah that's true i mean a movie that we watched a lot when i was a kid was coming to america and

[1:32:10] maybe if there was like they updated it and maybe his son has to come to america and he's like

[1:32:15] looking for his son but eddie murphy would never do another coming to america would he

[1:32:20] stewart uh yeah i mean they're making another coming to america that's true that was that was

[1:32:27] the joke but i'm trying to like it's funny the movies that the movies that i that i can think

[1:32:31] of from when i was a kid it's like uh it's more like i watched a bunch of movies where i was like

[1:32:35] why were my parents letting me watch this movie when i was a kid yeah like this is not a kid's

[1:32:39] movie but uh-huh like when my mom made me watch creep show too because she thought it was hilarious

[1:32:44] but it fucked me up real bad yeah in her defense it is hilarious and it's great but man

[1:32:50] woof um uh i don't know like it's tough i was thinking about this question a lot because

[1:32:55] i feel like so so many times like i don't know if updating things will make it make it better

[1:33:03] like there's a long time where and i'm sure like a lot of nerds were would think of like oh what

[1:33:10] if they could make this movie nowadays but with more modern special effects but i don't know if

[1:33:14] that's like that doesn't matter as much anymore like i don't know like i feel like when we got

[1:33:20] better special effects we realized oh better special effects doesn't necessarily make the

[1:33:25] movie any better like it's you know it's i don't know i'm just rambling but um uh so uh there's a

[1:33:31] very this is a a thoughtful question that i don't have a good answer for is basically what i'm saying

[1:33:36] thank you max that's the motto of the flop house thanks for writing in max go find those wild

[1:33:43] things the next email stop chasing your dog with a fork the next email is from kevin dylan no not

[1:33:52] that one i i broke with the long-standing lasting withheld tradition to just give you uh

[1:33:57] that parenthetical yeah yeah well yeah uh this is uh it says i know the remit of the podcast

[1:34:04] is to watch a bad movie and talk about it.

[1:34:07] But has there ever been a movie

[1:34:08] or series of movies you wanted to cover

[1:34:10] for the show, even though it doesn't

[1:34:12] strictly fit the show's manifesto?

[1:34:15] Cheers for all the laughs,

[1:34:17] especially this year.

[1:34:18] All the best,

[1:34:19] Kevin.

[1:34:21] I mean,

[1:34:24] this is interesting because, like,

[1:34:26] I don't know.

[1:34:28] I flatter myself that

[1:34:30] we offer some

[1:34:32] good criticism from time to time

[1:34:34] on this show but i do also enjoy that it is a comedy show foremost at least in my mind maybe

[1:34:42] maybe not maybe not lately i don't know how many laughs you're getting who knows but uh

[1:34:47] right into how many laughs in your computer and then send us the readout

[1:34:52] you know do it like do some ashy art of you laughing on a dot matrix printer and mail that

[1:35:01] in i guess be sure to tear off the little the little sprocket holes on the sides we don't need

[1:35:07] those oh man i had one of those printers it was such a pain in the ass i enjoy thinking a little

[1:35:13] more seriously about movies um and my outlet these days have been like writing little letterbox

[1:35:18] reviews but i don't know i've never been like oh i wish we could do this other thing because i

[1:35:23] want to keep it so comedy focused but i think if i did it would be to examine a larger sort of

[1:35:34] filmography of a director i like and luckily blank check already does that so i don't need

[1:35:39] to worry about it uh what do you guys think uh yeah i mean i think it's uh usually it's things

[1:35:46] like thinking back to movies that came out before we started doing the show and thus they fall kind

[1:35:52] of outside of the window and i'm sure we could go uh revisit them but like you know we still

[1:35:57] haven't watched bucky larson yet and i mean that's just that's been and you've been talking

[1:36:02] about it every week that's a perennial yeah how could how could we not have it uh yeah i don't

[1:36:09] know i mean there's there's a movie that came up during our exorcist show that i can't remember

[1:36:12] what it is now where we were like oh that would be a great one to do a live show about uh and i

[1:36:17] don't remember now it might have been teen wolf i feel like that's the movie teen wolf is the one

[1:36:22] movie i'm thinking of where i'm like maybe it's time for us to finally talk about teen we need

[1:36:26] to talk about teen wolf the sequel to we need to talk about kevin yeah i mean that would kind of

[1:36:33] explain some of kevin's behavior this this murderer is great at basketball don't you have a problem

[1:36:40] with the fact that he's a murderer would tilda swinton also get to be a werewolf in it though

[1:36:45] because i think she would really kill it she would be a great and john c reilly would have been a

[1:36:50] great werewolf man yeah but john c reilly's gonna be i mean he could i mean now we're just talking

[1:36:54] about making a new teen wolf movie and john c reilly could totally be the dad in that but we

[1:36:58] don't know great uh wait did did kevin kill uh john c reilly in that movie with a bow and arrow

[1:37:04] or a gun i think it was a bow and arrow and was it was that a silver tip on that because i think

[1:37:11] if he was a werewolf he could survive it right guys sure it just needs to have silver on there

[1:37:16] yeah and then he and then it'll kill him i know that like if this movie existed in real life ellie

[1:37:22] would probably hate it because they would get the wrong people to work on it uh but i do think a

[1:37:27] comedy remake of the wolfman starring john c reilly could be very funny oh i think that it's it it's

[1:37:34] only the difference of is it going to be the kind of comedy where it's just ad-lib non-stop yeah

[1:37:39] or is it going to be like a real movie that has jokes in it he would be fantastic in that no

[1:37:43] elliot i want my comedies to have a complete like mirror image version that is just alternate takes

[1:37:50] that you can easily sell in the dvd box well it's like are the each of the scenes going to be

[1:37:55] sketches or are we going to have a real because there's a lot of that would be really good dan

[1:37:58] you should write that and then send it to john c reilly yeah okay you know i you know i just got

[1:38:04] him in my contact list so yeah let me i'll i'll pick up my yellow pages i'll see if i can find

[1:38:09] his address i think this is up under riley yeah well i think this is the part where we talk about

[1:38:17] recommendations movies that you probably should watch instead of men in black international

[1:38:21] here come the recommendations movies we actually liked here come the movie wrecks here come the

[1:38:28] movie wrecks uh partly because i actually liked it quite a bit and partly to ignore ignore to

[1:38:35] annoy Stuart what partly to annoy Stuart

[1:38:39] I'm gonna recommend you're gonna

[1:38:40] recommend Game of Thrones the TV show or

[1:38:42] recommend American Utopia the David Byrne

[1:38:47] concert the Broadway show that was

[1:38:50] captured by Spike Lee and is available

[1:38:52] now on HBO max was captured by Spike Lee

[1:38:56] and kept in a cage in his basement he

[1:38:59] put it in a little mason jar and

[1:39:02] sometimes he would shake it to see it

[1:39:03] getting agitated no eventually he got a good he got a bid from the national zoo in washington dc

[1:39:09] and that's where it lives now i i uh never smashed buy tickets so hard as when i got a chance to uh

[1:39:17] see the show on broadway uh i was like you know i don't care i don't care i'm not gonna look at

[1:39:22] the price i david burns is doing a broadway show i'm gonna see this i saw it live on broadway it

[1:39:29] is a fantastic experience and the movie is also a fantastic and different experience you know it's

[1:39:35] it's staged for the theater obviously so some of it in a movie you're missing the experience of

[1:39:43] not only the immediacy but like seeing the whole stage at once but it is a very smartly shot

[1:39:48] movie in a way that you know uh stopped making sense is it's not the movie that stopped making

[1:39:56] senses but no nothing could be as a concert movie that's really a high benchmark but it is a very

[1:40:02] good movie a very joyful concert film and especially right now just something that's

[1:40:10] uh fun and uplifting uh american utopia i enjoyed it a lot i can't wait to see it i haven't watched

[1:40:17] it yet but i can't wait to see it what's that on hbo max or something i do believe so hobo max

[1:40:25] hobo max is a hobo who wanders through the neighborhood collecting cans

[1:40:29] but he's pretty extreme he only collects mountain dew cans oh yeah that's the mountain

[1:40:35] and surge yeah that's all specifically the most extreme yeah and uh talkies uh but those aren't

[1:40:44] he's that's uh bags he's the hobo who has a gopro gopro hobo they call him hobo max

[1:40:49] Hey, Elliot, you're already talking

[1:40:51] Why don't you recommend something?

[1:40:53] Oh, sure, I know it's

[1:40:55] We're releasing this after Halloween and recording it after Halloween

[1:40:58] So the time for horror movies is over

[1:40:59] That being said, I finally got to watch

[1:41:02] A horror movie this month

[1:41:02] I watched a new movie that's on

[1:41:05] Netflix

[1:41:06] It's called His House

[1:41:09] Oh, I watched some of that last night, it was great

[1:41:11] Yeah, it's directed by

[1:41:13] Remy Remy Weeks and it stars

[1:41:15] Wonmi Masako and Sopei Durisu

[1:41:17] I'm sure I'm pronouncing their names wrong

[1:41:18] And it tells the story about two refugees from Sudan, a husband and wife, who are trying to restart their lives in England and are dealing with both the unsettling feeling of trying to start a new life in a place where they are seen as outsiders and they don't feel comfortable, but also they are quite literally haunted by the things that they've left behind them and perhaps their history.

[1:41:45] And it's really, really well done. I thought it was really great. And it just goes to show, I think horror is, and I'm not the first person to say this, and I'm not alone in it, it's probably the best genre for dealing with traumas that are hard to talk about through drama without coming off as either pretentious or luxury or cloying.

[1:42:05] And so it does a very good job of giving a little taste of the kind of post-traumatic stress and feelings that come with being someone who's a refugee from a violent situation.

[1:42:18] But it's also just like a really solid, like, really well-done horror movie.

[1:42:23] It's got lots of good scares, and it looks beautiful.

[1:42:26] And the acting's great in it.

[1:42:27] So His House, now on Netflix.

[1:42:30] Yeah, I put that on last night after work, and I was like, oh, you know, you are introduced to the characters, and you find out that they're refugees, and I'm like, how can this movie be scarier than what they're already going through?

[1:42:41] And then, of course, it is a scary movie.

[1:42:44] Oh, there's a scene where Rial, the wife of the two, she has to get from the house that they've been given on a probationary trial basis from the government to the doctor's office.

[1:42:57] And she's just getting lost in these streets and does not know how she can ask someone for help or how to get there.

[1:43:02] And that scene alone is frightening, just feeling that lost.

[1:43:06] They did a really fantastic job with it.

[1:43:08] Stuart, what have you seen the rest of, though?

[1:43:11] Equally serious, I'm going to recommend a movie called Welcome to Sudden Death, the sequel or remake or reboot of the Jean-Claude Van Damme top-tier action movie, Sudden Death.

[1:43:24] This movie does not feature Jean-Claude Van Damme or Powers Booth.

[1:43:27] I think because Powers Booth died in the movie.

[1:43:29] His character, not the actor.

[1:43:30] I mean, Powers Booth did die, though, didn't he?

[1:43:33] Yeah, but not in the filming of Sudden Death.

[1:43:36] It wasn't like, I'm not going to make a weird joke.

[1:43:38] Okay, so this movie stars action superstar Michael J. White.

[1:43:44] You may know him as Spawn, of course, where he takes over the role of a security guard.

[1:43:50] but this time instead of at a hockey arena he's a security guard uh at a basketball arena you're

[1:43:56] probably wondering but wait a minute it's it's called welcome to sudden death basketball doesn't

[1:44:01] feature sudden death you're worrying too much about this movie chill out it's an action movie

[1:44:05] uh it's uh it's fairly it feels fairly cheap but it's also super fun and dumb uh it feels like a

[1:44:14] like a return to like just like sudden death the jean-claude van damme movie it feels like a return

[1:44:20] to that kind of uh filmmaking all the fight scenes kind of feel like uh they they they all have the

[1:44:28] setup of almost like a uh the moment when a cut scene goes into an actual match in like a mortal

[1:44:34] combat game and you're like oh fuck i gotta grab my controller i was too busy scanning twitter or

[1:44:39] something um and it uh it's great there's a great fight scene between michael j white and his uh

[1:44:45] real life wife man that was a great line real life wife real life white uh gillian white uh

[1:44:52] that is both a great fight scene and also has the nuttiest ending of a fight scene uh and there's

[1:44:59] also a fight scene in a locker room that is fucking sweet so if you need to check your brain

[1:45:05] at the door and get a little bit of action

[1:45:06] in your life, Welcome to

[1:45:09] Sudden Death. Now playing on Netflix.

[1:45:11] What does it say about us?

[1:45:13] Oh, and I gotta say, there's a fucking

[1:45:14] character in this movie named Gus

[1:45:16] who I can't tell if he's

[1:45:19] a ghost or if he's like

[1:45:20] a figment of this guy's imagination.

[1:45:23] I've watched

[1:45:25] it a couple times and I can't tell.

[1:45:27] I like any movie

[1:45:31] where you can say

[1:45:33] I'm not sure if this character is a ghost.

[1:45:35] yeah there's so many scenes of him like but like and like gus will show up and it'll be

[1:45:40] it'll then he'll do like benny hill or like benny hill or like scooby-doo style like

[1:45:45] running around uh away from the terrorists it's so weird oh man it's great welcome to sudden doubt

[1:45:52] check it out uh elliot i think you had an observation about our movie choices that you

[1:45:59] oh no it's just i always i don't know why i always remember that that he is spawn and i

[1:46:04] never remember that he's black dynamite even though i enjoyed black dynamite so much more

[1:46:09] than spawn yeah but i guess it's the first role you see somebody in that's just what they although

[1:46:13] that's not even true because i saw him in the tyson tv movie before i saw spawns i don't know

[1:46:17] what i don't know what it is really great it's i mean it doesn't spawn like it's such i feel like

[1:46:22] the spawn movie is such a weird thing like it's such an artifact of superhero movies yeah there's

[1:46:29] There's that scene where John Leguizamo as, what's his name?

[1:46:32] Violator.

[1:46:33] Violator.

[1:46:33] He's talking to a little girl, and he has a balloon that turns into his own head, and

[1:46:38] she does not react at all.

[1:46:39] And I remember seeing that in theaters and being like, wait, so what's going on here?

[1:46:43] This is something a regular person would be terrified by.

[1:46:46] Well, guys, that's it.

[1:46:50] The show.

[1:46:51] It's called The Flophouse.

[1:46:53] We're on it.

[1:46:54] We host it.

[1:46:54] You listen to it.

[1:46:55] Was this just a trailer for The Flophouse?

[1:46:57] Because it's long.

[1:46:58] A long trailer.

[1:46:59] A very unusual one, too.

[1:47:01] So in the middle of an episode of Jordan, Jesse, go,

[1:47:05] there's just going to be a two-hour promo ad for Flophouse.

[1:47:08] It's the only way we can get more listeners

[1:47:12] because short ads don't really give a good flavor.

[1:47:17] Anyway, listen, thank you to Jordan for editing the show and producing it.

[1:47:24] Thank you.

[1:47:25] Jordan Cowling?

[1:47:25] Jordan Cowling.

[1:47:28] Thank you to Annabelle Gurwitch for being our guest.

[1:47:31] Yep.

[1:47:32] And for really, I thought she did a great job

[1:47:35] considering she hadn't seen a different movie.

[1:47:37] Considering she had not.

[1:47:38] It was bound to happen someday, and she was.

[1:47:41] Yeah, no, it really was.

[1:47:42] I honestly thought one of us was going to be the first one to do it

[1:47:45] because we have done movies where there are several other movies

[1:47:49] with the same title,

[1:47:49] and there have been like sort of panic attacks back and forth

[1:47:53] every once in a while being like,

[1:47:54] is this the one that I was supposed to watch?

[1:47:56] that's why i checked about uninvited i was like this is the movie right the one with the cat

[1:48:00] from the 80s because there's like 10 movies called uninvited there was and there was that time

[1:48:04] at least one time i feel like when we were recording old style dan you fell asleep through

[1:48:09] like a third of the movie and we just rolled with it and that was great yep so you know that's kind

[1:48:15] of that's the kind of rickety enterprise we're running here yeah uh but thank you for listening

[1:48:23] to it uh and thanks to our network maximum fun for uh being our network but all things must come

[1:48:30] to an end including this episode and me talking so i've been dan mccoy i've been stewart wellington

[1:48:36] and this is elliot calen over here bye

[1:48:53] Yeah, that is a catalog I only know

[1:48:59] from comic references to it.

[1:49:01] That line of clothing I only know from comedy.

Ep. #327 - Men In Black: International, with Annabelle Gurwitch

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