Ep.#459 - War of the Worlds (2025)

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[0:28] On this episode we discuss war of the worlds no joke guys. This is the dumbest movie I've ever seen

[0:59] Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Jan McCoy. Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington, you know me

[1:05] I'm Elliot Kalin and continue to be to this very day

[1:08] Yeah

[1:08] Elliot seemed to be the most sure of who he was out of the three of us

[1:12] Mm-hmm, just looking at our faces and tones of voice

[1:15] Elliot I checked my driver's license right before the recording

[1:20] Yeah, yeah Scott Bakula just jumped into my body so I was trying to figure it out

[1:28] What's that Dracula jumped into my body and it was not not pleasant

[1:33] I'd kind of be into it. Scott Dracula was a smoke show back in the day. Oh, yeah, for sure for sure

[1:39] Now, do you think he jumped into my body and he's like, okay, what is my name and he saw on the stovetop?

[1:45] He saw a bubbling bowl of stew. He's like stew that he saw a piece of

[1:49] Lovingly painted artwork. He's like art

[1:51] I I assumed he just saw like the two of us and recognized us from the statues of us in the future

[1:59] Oh, yeah in the future. We're being we're bringing these podcasters who brought world. Yeah. Yeah, behold my works. I

[2:07] as a dandiest

[2:10] Behold my works you mighty and laugh

[2:13] well speaking of

[2:16] the old world being destroyed

[2:18] War of the worlds, yeah

[2:20] Thank you for doing that. Or otherwise, I would have started reciting Ozymandias and nobody wants that

[2:26] Guys, I met a traveler from an antique land who said to Vasco

[2:29] I've lost legs of stone stand in the desert and buy them on the sand to have shattered visage lies

[2:33] We I'll tell you about later. Okay. Sure. I'll tell you about this

[2:37] this ancient Mariner

[2:44] Can I tell you about sanity

[2:47] We did it we covered all the romantics, yeah, we did it

[2:52] antics

[2:53] No, or the new romantics. No. Oh, so so, uh, Dan

[2:57] We're the world's this movie. Uh-huh you we were gonna do a different movie

[3:01] We don't even need to talk about it

[3:02] And it was like that you rushed into the flophouse press office

[3:05] You were like hot off the presses stop the presses

[3:08] we gotta do war of the worlds and you hit the we got one alarm for like

[3:13] Busters and I was like ice cube hits multiple times

[3:19] And and I have to say I had never heard I'm I my life at this moment

[3:23] Keeps me too busy to be aware of much going on in the world

[3:26] Um, do the combination of of work and family stress?

[3:30] And so I had never heard when you're not working or family and you're like you just pull up your phone to look at stuff

[3:36] What are you looking at there when you it's the idea of a time when I'm not work or familying is an interesting one

[3:41] And I hope to explore that idea at some point

[3:44] But so damaged this movie. I was not aware of it

[3:47] I mean certainly aware of the story of war of the worlds

[3:48] But Dan but I have to say Dan

[3:50] Thank you for bringing this one into my life because I would have just passed it by and it is

[3:55] It is a special piece of stupid. Yeah that I was not expecting it has

[4:00] Gone a sort of mildly viral like there's a lot of inner internet chatter about how

[4:06] Terrible this is and there's articles it had a it had a perfect 0% Rotten Tomatoes score until very recently

[4:15] My friend Kimber

[4:17] On the security state says Armin white. She was like, oh my friend Jordan ruined the

[4:24] 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, but then I read his review for Entertainment Weekly and it wasn't like a good review

[4:31] It was like is it really that bad? You're gonna have fun cuz it's done. So I'm like, I don't know if that's a fresh review

[4:39] I think yeah, I think their algorithm that determines whether something's fresh or not fresh did a bad job

[4:46] Yeah, and don't have to say what's front funky fresh. They just don't know. Yeah

[4:51] It's a case where like I feel like a lot of people have have deliberately watched a bad movie or maybe not deliberately

[4:57] but more people have

[4:58] Encountered a really bad movie than is normal because Amazon, you know push this so hard. It's like, okay according to the Chiron

[5:04] It says top ten in movies. Yeah. Yeah of all time

[5:09] It's always amazing to me when Netflix does the thought to but an Amazon does it where they'll be like most watch today?

[5:15] Top ten and it's like yeah, cuz you put it on everybody's home screen. Yeah, it's right

[5:20] You can't it's like a dog playing field

[5:22] You guys were the you guys are the only streamer they where you can watch fucking to live and die in LA

[5:28] Like that should be

[5:32] Once again, Donald Trump is the most talked about man in America. He's the fucking president

[5:36] He's on the news all the time. Like he does everything possible to be talked to get talked about

[5:41] He's like, I'm bored. I'm gonna climb on a roof

[5:45] We gotta get the fire department to get him out again recycling Dharma and Greg plots

[5:53] Leave him on the roof like a hangover movie

[5:56] Let's see

[6:00] Well melted

[6:03] Make it better or the same

[6:07] Made it unviewable. What does that do in your eyes?

[6:11] Dan what's your experience with war of the worlds? I'm sure you must be have encountered this story

[6:15] It's a one of the one of the two most fundamental science fiction stories of Western literature along with Frankenstein

[6:22] I'm sure you've encountered it before what's your experience with war the world?

[6:25] Yeah, I read well when I was a kid, I read one of those little classic illustrated books of the world

[6:31] And I feel like the flophouse can like just unabashedly recommend classics. Yeah

[6:37] and then I eventually read the you know, the HG Wells original and I

[6:43] More of a little Wars guy, but I don't know that I've ever seen the George Powell version, but I've seen

[6:49] Of course Spielberg's version which I like a lot the George Powell version is is good. The Spielberg version is fantastic

[6:55] I think it's an I think that's an amazing movie. Yeah, and were you alive when Orson Welles did his radio?

[7:01] Yeah, I was

[7:05] Kids that the Martians were landing and you had to protect them. Hmm. Yeah. Well, I mean so right it's my understanding that that is a

[7:12] Inflated story, right? That's the modern

[7:16] The modern take is that it did not really drive people into the streets and panic

[7:20] But I will say I've listened to that broadcast any number of times

[7:23] I really love it

[7:24] And this movie is trying really hard to do something similar

[7:27] Which is to collapse time the most amazing thing about the war the world's radio show is that within about?

[7:34] 25 to 30 minutes the aliens have they've they've noticed strange lights in the sky

[7:39] Aliens have landed and destroyed all the militaries and killed millions of people within like a half hour and the way it's spaced out

[7:47] You're so carried along with it that it's not till afterwards that you're like things move pretty fast and this movie tries to do the

[7:52] same thing where it seems like over the course of like an hour and 15 minutes the the aliens appear and then destroy all of

[7:58] The earth's military forces and that was it's it moves so fast that you're like, hold on a second

[8:02] Hold on a second

[8:03] One of the most mystifying things to me it was like what kind of time is supposed to be passing here

[8:09] it's like the movie makes it feel like it's

[8:13] basically real-time except for

[8:16] We're getting all of these news reports that would only come after the fact

[8:22] You know once journalists were able to like get on the ground just like make log these reports

[8:27] And it's one of the weirdest feelings to watch it to be so on second time

[8:31] Yeah, and there must be gap time because there are parts where ice cube as we'll get to as damn explain

[8:36] He's just dealing with his family and then suddenly he'll be pulled into a meeting and they're like give us your threat assessment

[8:41] And he'll give them a researched threat assessment and it's like when did he have time to do this? Hold on a second

[8:45] He was too busy

[8:47] Answering or not answering FaceTime. Yeah, I read one review that mentioned that it takes place over what must be several days

[8:53] I wouldn't necessarily assume that I think it I think it's supposed to be as close to real-time as possible

[8:59] Which is yeah, which is hilarious, but Dan so tell us to her. What about you? What's your experience the worth of worlds?

[9:03] I mean, I think I'm gonna I'm gonna

[9:06] Agree, I agree with all this. I haven't read the HG Wells story

[9:11] But I'm you know, I've come across all these all this stuff and also

[9:17] The second story arc of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which is which is about the war the world's yeah

[9:22] Yeah, which I mean at the time I was like doesn't this wasn't this made later, but then you know

[9:28] I figured it out and it fits within the time frame

[9:32] Amazingly Alan Moore did his research on that one?

[9:35] Yeah, something he normally doesn't do now

[9:38] So one of the before we get started in this one say my experience of all the worlds

[9:41] I've all the things that that Dan talks about experiencing and that you talked about experiencing Stu I've experienced and

[9:47] Not to say I'm like the world

[9:50] But uh, but I will say the thing that struck me about two different versions of the war the world's the Steven Spielberg version and that

[9:56] Second issue of that League of Extraordinary Gentlemen second

[10:00] is they're the things that to me best captured the feeling of being in New

[10:05] York on September 11th they just captured that feeling of there's this

[10:08] enormous catastrophe something terrible has happened and you're just there and

[10:13] you can't do anything about it you have to get through it and this movie and I

[10:17] think that's for me that you don't understand and don't have the facilities

[10:22] to research it is it is a mystery you aren't you do not have access to the

[10:26] information you don't necessarily trust the people who do have access to some of

[10:29] that information I will say that this movie today failed to establish that

[10:34] same feeling for me of what it felt like on that on that terrible day so yeah

[10:38] maybe that makes it so let's see if you guys felt the same way that this movie

[10:42] fails to get across the seriousness of a global catastrophe yeah also before we

[10:48] even get into any of it we should say up front this is one of those movies like

[10:53] unfriended or searching that takes place basically entirely on the desktop of a

[10:59] computer screen like sometimes it goes off to like other screens but essentially

[11:03] it is like is it is one of those which is I mean part of that I guess is this

[11:09] was shot during kovat and so it's like oh yeah to make it perfect I would say

[11:16] that this is maybe a story for which that is not the most natural fit it

[11:22] certainly hurts the scale of a movie about aliens invading the entire world to

[11:26] have it all be set on one guy's screen and you're mostly looking at his face

[11:30] but you're also seeing what's on his screen at the same angle that he would

[11:34] see it so I guess maybe you're right behind his shoulder and when you're

[11:36] seeing his face you're seeing his reflection in the screen I don't know

[11:39] but also that so much of it is him just going oh damn oh shit yes while watching

[11:45] the news and the other that he is a as Daniel explained he is a guy who's

[11:49] supposed to be at the very center of the web of surveillance of the United States

[11:52] Department of Homeland Security but he gets most of his information from

[11:55] watching the news so we really have access to that much information that's

[11:59] better you know just so no one writes and I think that when we see him it's

[12:02] like the camera in his laptop is so he's constantly looking at his face in his

[12:07] monitor I'm not saying I don't think it's like we're to believe that he is

[12:11] doing that I'm saying that like that is the view from his computer okay we are

[12:19] we imagine that the viewer is the computer okay but then the stuff that he

[12:23] sees on screen should be backwards right well the computers can read can

[12:28] translate things forward and back oh yeah right that's why they're so good at

[12:31] everything yes there's often a button that just says flip I thought that

[12:37] computer flip in the air like it like it was doing a skateboard I will say I

[12:40] think one of the key things that this movie fails to understand is that for

[12:45] this character he is trapped in a situation where he is almost completely

[12:49] by himself and he's in this room that's filled with like filled with desks and

[12:54] things but he's the only one there and he has to do like his only lifeline is

[12:57] this computer and there's never really a moment where they step out and show you

[13:01] like even to not break the the immersion of it they could have just simply had a

[13:07] moment where like we see the security camera footage of that from the office

[13:12] he's in just show how alone he is and how he's just like this little man with

[13:18] a computer and he has to figure it out from there but they the movie does not

[13:23] have the emotional intelligence to do that let's get into the the plot of it

[13:29] though so our hero mr. ice cube he sits down in front of his computer he says hi

[13:36] to it he logs in we see he is he works for the Department of Homeland Security

[13:40] ice cube yeah look I I'm just gonna you act as if it's will the flophouse we

[13:47] don't constantly refer to the actors to avoid confusion he's playing Will

[13:52] Radford who is a surveillance expert at the Department of Homeland Security and

[13:57] will is a great name because he has the will to kill some aliens and Radford is

[14:02] a great name because he's rad like radical but he also forward yeah exactly

[14:06] like Harrison Ford thank you so he basically at first his job seems to just

[14:12] be looking at random closed-caption security footage of various I'm sorry

[14:19] closed-circuit closed-caption I saw CCTV on here yeah but closed-circuit TV of

[14:25] various DC landmarks while the computer says stuff like threat level medium and

[14:30] or no threat detective detected what a great way to endear is the detective who

[14:37] is not gonna hurt anybody what a way for a movie to endear us to a character than

[14:42] to show him being a fucking snoop you know this movie fails it I think it's

[14:48] fair to say it fails to reach us the heights of moral empathy and ambiguity

[14:52] of the conversation which is also about a professional snoop who we learn has

[14:58] has a complicated relationship with his work has his own inner life it is

[15:03] presented right off the bat as if ice cube is his one issue is that he

[15:08] doesn't know how to relate to his family as opposed to his issue being that he is

[15:11] in hit that he's just eavesdropping and invading the privacy of every American

[15:16] in the country including his family like it is just taken for granted that there

[15:20] is a certain level of constant surveillance that is good then there's

[15:24] another level that is never quite defined that is bad but yeah there is a

[15:29] level that is good and he just you know he's so great at his job that he said

[15:32] he's a real here it's like I'm the in a any movie where you show somebody being

[15:38] great at what they do it's just to establish that they're the best so they

[15:41] can go on the rest of the movie except what he's great at doing is terrible

[15:44] it's really bad like right off the bat I'm like I don't think this is how like

[15:49] security analysts do their job just like sort of randomly checking in on the way

[15:54] the way Ozzy Mandis callback in just kind of watches a wall of television

[15:58] yeah and and picks up the gestalt feeling of American culture yeah yeah I

[16:03] mean it certainly is a good way of using cheap stock footage for your movie

[16:06] otherwise there's more ways to use cheap stock footage that they'll discover yeah

[16:10] yeah but he gets a call from NASA scientist Sandra sales played by Eva

[16:15] Longoria who sends him this footage of crazy storms is like have you heard

[16:20] about anything like this and he says I watch people not weather and I'm like

[16:24] yeah like why is the NASA it's I just trying to call this guy about this

[16:29] abutting romance I think the implication is there but also ice cube oh man this

[16:35] movie would have crushed a fucking cybersex scene like better than

[16:39] lawnmower man finally right in the middle of a battle scene aliens are

[16:44] attacking and he's but he's still good he's still going at it yeah I mean he

[16:48] spends a lot of his time focusing on things that are not related to the

[16:52] saving of the human that's very true they never quite explain why someone at

[16:58] NASA would contact someone at Homeland Security to ask them about about storm

[17:02] storms yeah also the storm footage is very funny it's just a lot of lightning

[17:07] but he's like whoa whoa whoa whoa and there's a lot of sound on the footage

[17:11] which you probably that wouldn't necessarily have but it just it comes

[17:14] off as very silly and she's like have you heard about this and he's like nope

[17:17] yeah that's kind of what you do yeah that's all the finest storms that

[17:21] storyblocks has to offer we're almost at like one of my favorite little things

[17:25] in the movie okay well I don't know what it is I hope I touched on it if not you

[17:29] gotta jump in the NSA director pretty good about touching on Stewart's

[17:32] favorite things yeah okay the NSA director played by Clark Gregg texts him

[17:38] to say the FBI raid on terrorists the disruptor is ready to go and we get we

[17:44] hear a message from the disruptor warning that he's going to release

[17:47] classified documents about the surveillance the government is doing on

[17:50] everybody with the Goliath program and I am immediately on the disruptor side

[17:56] yes of course well and I think also the movie is not not on the disruptor side

[18:01] as we'll see but the disruptor sure him because he's he's the kind of he's the

[18:05] classic thing that you see in movies but I feel like you don't see that much in

[18:08] real life ever he's the silhouette of a hoodie

[18:12] and he's got like his voice has been has been manipulated so it's out yeah I'm

[18:16] going to release all the Goliath files and you'll see and he is apparently

[18:19] famous because then there's later there's like news reports that are like

[18:23] disruptor gone after or something so you know you can unmask me now that you've

[18:35] defeated me that's okay kids in the hall in case you're confused about a

[18:43] about a diehard racquetball player named the eradicator in the showers at the gym

[18:51] with the mask on is so the radicator wins by default previous round meanwhile

[19:02] ice cube calls his pregnant daughter faith to berate her for having a muffin

[19:06] for break guys instead of an egg because he's spying on her he's spying on her

[19:10] and when it gives her details it lists the father of her child as a baby daddy

[19:14] and I love that I love that's the classification the program gives so

[19:21] that's the first child also his son calls him mad that he deleted it like

[19:27] his game he was working on which actually sounds pretty assholish and he

[19:31] was playing he was pointing okay I thought it was like he was designing

[19:35] okay I'm like wow you know he was alerted because he made he bought I

[19:40] guess he bought a game yeah something yeah he looked at that he like was

[19:45] snooping on his son and saw that that that that he had bought it purchased a

[19:48] game yeah yeah but it was like kind of it was like more expensive than a video

[19:52] game right it was kind of weird it was like 200 some bucks maybe you probably

[19:55] got one of those haptic feedback chairs or something like that

[20:00] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you gotta get the fleshlight. I mean, to play Halo. Yeah.

[20:08] And they have a little argument about whether safety is worth all the invasion of privacy of

[20:13] what Ice Cube and what side does the movie come down on security buddies? Well, eventually,

[20:20] it comes down on, we shouldn't have surveillance. Although again, as you say, like, it's only the

[20:25] surveillance that saves us from the aliens. It gives us a movie to watch. Yeah, true. I think

[20:31] it comes down on the side of maybe like it's not really taking sides necessarily. How do you feel,

[20:37] viewer? Viewer, you make the call. Should our every move be surveilled by a shadowy government

[20:43] network? Right into arrest me care of Department of Homeland Security, Washington, D.C. Here's one

[20:51] of my favorite little weird things. He sends the disruptors address to the FBI. He pinpoints the

[20:58] address and he sends it for a warrant. And I'm like, wait, they had a raid standing by already.

[21:03] Do they not have a location like what he calls the order of operations here? He calls in a raid

[21:08] and they're like, we're on it. Where's that warrant? Getting it to you. And yeah, it's the

[21:12] it's it's bonkers how much power he has and how slapdash it is. But then again, the government

[21:18] kind of operates that way nowadays. So it's not super inaccurate. You know, he both seems like a

[21:23] very low level analyst. I mean, like his son, like makes fun of his job, not just like for what he

[21:29] does, but the level he's at. But then later on, he's briefing the president like I never got a

[21:34] handle on like to be the considering there's other desks, it seems like in the room he's in,

[21:38] but they're all empty. He seems to be the one analyst who works. Yeah. Well, he yeah. I mean,

[21:43] obviously after Doge cut everybody, but also or maybe maybe he consumed all of them and got all

[21:49] of their power and abilities. That's possible. Ice Cube is the biggest of the friends.

[21:55] As long as we're referencing jokes from other shows. Yeah, that's all we do. Yeah. He gets a

[22:01] call from Faith's partner. We meet Faith's partner about. I do love that his name is Will and her

[22:05] name is Faith. I love it when characters names tell you what they do. And his son's name is Dave.

[22:11] He's good because he's a flawed king because we meet him.

[22:18] I mean, also, this is something I didn't pick up, but looking at the looking at the

[22:22] something I didn't pick up, but looking at the Wikipedia cast list,

[22:25] Faith's boyfriend is named Mark Goodman. Oh, come on, man. He is a good man named Dave

[22:31] because he's super guy. So Mark accidentally spills that there's going to be a baby shower

[22:40] that what's Mark's job, Dan? What's Mark's job? Well, I'm getting there. He's an Amazon delivery

[22:46] man. And one of the sounds like a good man, the earliest of many of my reminders that this is

[22:52] an Amazon made film. Yeah. Those reminders get pretty thick near the end. Spoiler alert when

[22:58] the purchase of a product on Amazon becomes a requirement for saving the human race.

[23:03] Which is I don't think it's the flex they intended to seem like. They're like,

[23:08] they don't realize that they're like, well, we could save the world, but you have to buy something

[23:12] first. Yeah, exactly. We can't do it without you paying us. But you're saying so he spilled the

[23:16] beans. They're going to have a baby shower for Faith. And Will was not even invited. She didn't

[23:20] invite her own father to her baby shower. Yeah. She assumed he was just going to watch this shit

[23:25] off of a drone or something. Well, when we see pictures of the baby shower, there's it's clear

[23:29] there are no other invitees besides the characters in the movie. So for Will to be snubbed is a big

[23:34] snub. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they they only have enough parties for four people. It's not a party. So

[23:44] that's a regular. I don't know. That's why that's the only guy left at the FDA who measures subs

[23:52] for their party classification comes by. Sorry, doesn't meet party regulations. I gave I gave

[23:58] Donald Trump and he lost so much money so that my catering business that sells regular subs and

[24:03] calls them party subs would get these tax breaks and get these deals. But now you guys can't buy

[24:09] so much Trump coins so I could get my subs re-registered. Yeah. Now I'm selling fun size

[24:15] regular subs. That's how the math works. But there's less fun because there's less

[24:24] and he's just crying. This is when he's being deposed by Congress.

[24:29] So, you know, Will is by this. We have been tasked with an important effort for the American people

[24:34] to ensure honesty. Now, I may be just an old mule at the cracker barrel, but it seems to me if the

[24:42] American purple think that we have a problem with sub classifications, then by golly gum,

[24:49] I think we do. And we owe it to these American voters to take care of that. And then everyone

[24:54] applauds. And I'm just bawling my eyes out. Finally, someone's draining the swamp anyway.

[25:03] Yeah. Will is perturbed at this lack of an invitation. So he hacks his daughter's computer

[25:08] and spies on a conversation. Good dad. Yeah. He's a bad dad. Hacker dad. Yeah. Her and Mark,

[25:14] during which we learned she's a scientist working on important medical research that Trump probably

[25:18] just defunded. Well, her research is some sort of what they call a cannibal code, where it's like a

[25:23] virus that instantly eats, I guess, whatever it's been injected into. I don't know how useful that

[25:28] is. But I think the idea is that the the this virus will theoretically like kill cancer cells.

[25:34] Oh, yeah, that's fun. Yeah. Now, somebody pointed out I can't remember who,

[25:37] but I saw somebody point out online that his all the passwords are very short.

[25:42] They're like it's like somebody's name. And I'm like, that's a weird thing for a guy in

[25:46] charge of information security would be using. Now, you know, around this time,

[25:52] you might be wondering, well, he's got these kids. Does Will have a wife? Well,

[25:58] his wife has passed. He spends a little time missing his dead wife on her Facebook page

[26:03] and listening to an old voice message from her reminding him, what was it? So like,

[26:08] take out the trash and be nice to the kids or something like that.

[26:12] Or you don't get no spending cash. And I said, don't talk back. Yeah.

[26:21] So this is how we're not expanding our audience. Each of us brings a totally different frame of

[26:27] reference. Yeah. Including songs from far before we were born. There was there was a resurgence of

[26:35] yakety yak when we were kids. Yeah. I also was talking to my brothers on we've been doing like

[26:41] you know, Facebook, Facebook, FaceTime call like a couple of times, just like the movie we watched.

[26:48] That's where you got the idea. And saying about like they're like,

[26:52] how do you know about McMillan and why? Because I feel like some reference to that.

[26:56] And I'm like, well, you know, like I feel like back in the old days,

[27:00] there's a continuity of culture. We were forced to consume the stuff from.

[27:05] You started to watch syndicated things. Yeah. Yeah. And now like we really are shooting

[27:10] ourselves in the foot with all these references because no one young like watches anything like

[27:15] this. Like they're certainly not listening to yakety yak until it shows up in a in a tick tock

[27:20] video. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I mean, I feel like this whole movie is made for people who

[27:28] don't like movies and just spend their time looking at their phone or computers.

[27:31] It's certainly made for people who don't know how computers work to a certain extent.

[27:36] So the the raid on the disruptor, it's on. We meet Agent Jeffrey. This is played by

[27:42] Angela Savage. This is the first time I've seen a movie. There are other movies I've seen where

[27:46] it feels A.I. ish. This is the first movie I've seen where I know humans worked on this movie,

[27:50] but it does feel like an A.I. made this movie. You know, it feels like a movie that was put

[27:54] together kind of like by a thing that understands what's supposed to happen at each step in a movie,

[28:01] but but doesn't quite get humanity. But a fun meal brain kind of way where

[28:06] he clearly has seen a movie, but he didn't absorb anything.

[28:11] You'd think the computers would know more about computers, though. But apparently

[28:15] the hardest thing to know is yourself. Exactly. Exactly. Know thyself, said Eniac.

[28:20] Eniac? Yeah. That who said it? Yeah. Well, somebody said it. That's a computer.

[28:25] Tell me. OK, we meet Agent Jeffrey's played by Angela Savage, a funny actor.

[28:34] You know, it's not funny. Does have a comic role.

[28:36] No. Meanwhile, the NASA lady keeps bugging Ice Cube about these storms.

[28:43] Turns out the raid is at a decoy address. And the middle of this raid, this failed

[28:48] raid, something starts happening. Debris or meteors are falling from the sky

[28:52] in flaming trails. And we get a bunch of disaster footage from all over.

[28:56] And all they're like, all the we get information that, like all the satellites are dark,

[29:01] does not affect the constant feed of news, though, or access to the Internet.

[29:05] It seems like it's only the NASA satellites that are down because you're because as you're saying

[29:10] throughout the movie, they're like our data systems are down. But but in 24 hour news continues,

[29:15] his Internet service does not go away. He can use the Amazon website to order something later.

[29:20] Fucking hashtags and social media shit all over the place. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

[29:26] But anyway, there's meteors falling and normally we'd be like, what's going on? But the name of

[29:30] the movie is War of the Worlds. So we kind of have a sense of what's going to happen. Yeah.

[29:34] Uh, Eva Longoria, a NASA lady, warns him that D.C. is about to get hit.

[29:40] So he tries to call Faith, but she's not picking up. And he locates her in surveillance footage,

[29:46] taking shelter beneath a table. And he calls Mark to go find her. And meanwhile, his son calls

[29:54] with meteors flying around in the background and Ice Cube tries to tell him the effects of this

[29:58] movie look great, too.

[30:00] Yes, tries to direct him to safety, but he seemingly does that, but they lose contact.

[30:08] So we don't know what's going on with the son yet.

[30:10] Cube gets on a Zoom call all the time while he's wasting time with his kids.

[30:14] And I understand, you want to save your kids.

[30:15] Well, he's-

[30:16] I can't say wasting time with his kids, but he's certainly not doing his job at the

[30:19] time.

[30:20] Yeah, because he's constantly, at this point, being hacked toward by his bosses to be like,

[30:25] hey, get on the Zoom call with the government.

[30:27] We need to talk about this.

[30:28] The president needs to know why meteors are suddenly hitting everywhere on Earth at the

[30:32] same time.

[30:33] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[30:34] I'm just trying to make sure my daughter's not under a table.

[30:36] Yeah.

[30:37] So we see Eva Longoria approach one of these meteors.

[30:40] I love this.

[30:41] I love classic scientist behavior.

[30:43] Let's walk up and touch a meteor.

[30:46] Which, even if it's not hiding an alien inside, would be incredibly hot from going through

[30:51] the Earth's atmosphere.

[30:54] It begins to open, and we get a glimpse of a classic War of the Worlds tripod tentacle.

[31:01] Then the Zoom freaks out.

[31:04] It is the kind of sound that the alien makes, yeah.

[31:07] And talks about warning the president, and they say, Ice Cube, you're our eyes and ears,

[31:13] even though he's eyes and ears that are constantly on his children.

[31:17] And mostly watching the news.

[31:18] Most of the information he's picking up is from the news.

[31:20] Guys, I want to give a little flop house shout out to the tripod design in general.

[31:25] Just the idea of, like, making the aliens have three legs as opposed to two or four.

[31:30] That's good writing.

[31:31] I mean, that goes all the way back to the original book.

[31:33] No, that's what I mean.

[31:34] I'm not giving a shout out to this movie.

[31:36] This movie deserves no shout outs.

[31:40] Negative shout outs.

[31:41] That was Mr. Human Giant Wells that was responsible for that, yeah.

[31:48] His son keeps calling and being like, Dad, I have important information.

[31:52] I've got to talk to you about Goliath.

[31:53] And Ice Cube's like, there's aliens attacking.

[31:55] What are you doing?

[31:56] Shut up.

[31:57] It's too early in the movie.

[31:58] We have to delay whatever you have to tell me.

[32:00] Shut up.

[32:01] It's like, it is comical, the degree to which this father will not listen to his son.

[32:07] But again, it should be presented as he is too busy with what he's doing.

[32:11] But instead, it's just that he doesn't want to talk to him.

[32:14] It makes sense why you wouldn't be talking to your son at this moment.

[32:16] But not for the reasons you're giving.

[32:17] He's trying to make a sandwich that has both mustard and mayonnaise on it, and he just

[32:21] doesn't have the time.

[32:22] Can I refer to any other comedy shows?

[32:23] How many can I fit in?

[32:24] I've got to get some more in here.

[32:25] Yeah, what other comedy shows can we refer to?

[32:26] You could try and get a Monty Python thing in here somewhere.

[32:31] Yeah, we haven't talked about news radio yet at all, I think, yeah.

[32:36] Let's see.

[32:37] Cube.

[32:38] I mean, even when you talked about Macmillan and Wife Dan, that's mainly to me a reference

[32:40] from Mystery Science Theaters, that's another comedy show right there.

[32:44] We watched a couple of episodes because Audrey's hunger for mystery shows.

[32:48] You should watch a lot more than a couple of episodes.

[32:50] No, no.

[32:51] I've watched so much.

[32:52] I don't like the news.

[32:53] Macmillan and Wife.

[32:54] Oh, Macmillan and Wife.

[32:55] Because she's got such a hunger for mystery shows.

[32:58] And I was trying to explain it to my brothers because even though it was more of their time,

[33:02] they didn't know it.

[33:03] I'm like, it's the funny thing is, it's like, he's a police detective or like maybe even

[33:07] like the police chief.

[33:08] I don't know.

[33:10] And his wife helps him solve crimes.

[33:12] And I'm like, to Audrey, I'm like, OK, so what's the setup here?

[33:15] Like, why is she involved?

[33:16] And she's like, I don't know.

[33:17] She's just around.

[33:18] And I'm like, I guess like in the 70s, you didn't need more than that.

[33:21] Yeah.

[33:22] It's my wife's going to be part of the investigation.

[33:24] It's a classic encyclopedia, Brown.

[33:26] She's just really good at it.

[33:27] Right.

[33:28] Yeah.

[33:29] Well, she's kind of like the flaky fun one.

[33:31] Oh, I see.

[33:32] Who's Bugs Meany in it?

[33:33] I don't know about that.

[33:36] OK, so we see our FBI agent friend seemingly zapped by a tripod.

[33:43] We get more disaster footage.

[33:45] There's a lot of a lot of repurposing real life footage, but then inserting a CGI alien

[33:53] tripod.

[33:54] Yeah.

[33:55] Faith calls back.

[33:56] It looks for a second like maybe she gets tripod zapped, but he can check her heartbeat

[34:01] through her health app.

[34:03] And it turns out she's alive, but she has some rebar through her leg.

[34:08] And rebar is only good for two things, reinforcing concrete structures and getting stuck in people's

[34:13] bodies like in this Cloverfield.

[34:16] Yeah.

[34:17] Yeah.

[34:18] And Will says he's coming for her.

[34:19] But like any hopes for an active protagonist who gets to leave that room are immediately

[34:24] detached because there's lockdown.

[34:27] She's stuck in the building.

[34:28] So instead, he hacks a Tesla for her remotely.

[34:31] You said Tesla, right?

[34:32] Tesla.

[34:33] Yeah.

[34:34] You did say Tesla like it, like an old man at a Cracker Barrel.

[34:35] Yeah, sure.

[34:36] Again, my brain is Tesla's.

[34:40] I saw the one slur driving a Tesla.

[34:42] Wait.

[34:43] So is it his name?

[34:44] There's one one slur.

[34:45] Then.

[34:46] No, no.

[34:47] It's one slur driving a Tesla because I know it's Tesla.

[34:48] So it's one slur.

[34:49] One slur.

[34:50] No, no, no.

[34:51] You don't understand.

[34:52] Now, this is some good counter.

[34:53] I put my head down on the pillar.

[34:54] I said once.

[34:55] What?

[34:56] What?

[34:57] What?

[34:58] What?

[34:59] That's a different that's a different Lorax.

[35:00] Who deals with the one slut?

[35:03] I feel like this is some counterprogramming for Tesla because it shows how easily their

[35:06] vehicles can be hacked and driven around.

[35:08] Yeah.

[35:09] Yeah.

[35:10] Not since.

[35:11] What was the movie we saw where Ethan Hawke and Julia Roberts are at the end of the world

[35:13] and the Teslas are all smashing into each other?

[35:15] Not since that.

[35:16] Has it been?

[35:17] Uh.

[35:18] The one Obama produced.

[35:19] Yeah.

[35:20] Don't look up.

[35:21] Yeah.

[35:22] Like the world is different.

[35:23] Don't say goodbye to the world or kiss the world goodbye.

[35:25] Yeah.

[35:26] This is the world we know.

[35:27] What?

[35:29] It's a world.

[35:30] Yeah.

[35:32] So he discovers that all the hospitals are full, although I'm pretty sure that a hospital

[35:36] triage would be like, OK, this pregnant lady has like rebar right next to one of her major

[35:42] arteries.

[35:43] Like, and I will say that.

[35:45] I would imagine that the the the level of catastrophic injury is so high that the hospitals

[35:49] are flooded with it.

[35:50] Yeah.

[35:51] Maybe.

[35:52] But his solution.

[35:53] Giant robots.

[35:54] No buildings.

[35:55] Oh, yeah.

[35:56] Most of these streets that we see are completely empty.

[35:57] Maybe that is true.

[35:58] Maybe.

[35:59] But it's got to be true.

[36:00] It's a war of the world.

[36:01] God.

[36:02] But his solution is like, I'm going to send you to a government building where there's

[36:03] apparently no medical stuff at all.

[36:04] I don't know why he fucking sends her there.

[36:05] It's not a good idea.

[36:06] Have her try a hospital at least.

[36:07] You know what?

[36:08] He's an old man.

[36:09] He probably just sent her to a place that he's been before.

[36:10] It's like, I know this place.

[36:11] It's like, this is nice to me.

[36:12] This is the restaurant where I call the waitress, honey and darling.

[36:13] She'll be able to carry you.

[36:14] And I don't know.

[37:22] Uh, turns out that Eva Longoria is still alive.

[37:27] Still touching rocks.

[37:28] She's like the meteor is deliberately hits satellites to knock out our eyes.

[37:35] Again, not very well, because they didn't hit any of the Amazon ones because the Amazon

[37:40] ones are obviously in league with the Martians.

[37:42] Well, they were I could, I will say it is.

[37:44] You could say that it's because, as we find out, there's a data connection, and so maybe

[37:49] they were going after specific satellites connected to specific data stuff things.

[37:52] Yeah, I'll give you, you know, what movie I'll give you a little I'll throw you a bone

[37:57] on this one.

[37:58] This otherwise you don't.

[37:59] I mean, well, that's the other thing.

[38:00] And let's also remember, this movie is rock stupid.

[38:03] This is an incredibly stupid movie.

[38:04] Every step of the way.

[38:05] Speaking of dumb, I was about to say that what had already been a dumb movie shifts

[38:09] into a new year of stupid.

[38:11] It gets stupider and stupider as it goes on, you know, in a beautiful way.

[38:14] Yeah.

[38:15] So, as our hero hops on a zoom call with the president again, I didn't know he was

[38:19] this powerful, but he tells everyone that he assumes the power grid is going to be the

[38:24] next target.

[38:25] And he suggests consolidating for striking from the most high priority assets.

[38:30] And that's that is barely a plan.

[38:32] But the president says this plan is humanity's last stand.

[38:36] I see no other option than to initiate this war of the worlds to save us all.

[38:41] Yes.

[38:42] Amazing.

[38:43] You have to go to Ice Cube for the high level analysis that we should protect our most important

[38:48] things from the aliens.

[38:50] Yeah.

[38:51] Family.

[38:52] This scene with the president, it feels like it's so funny.

[38:56] They're trying so hard and it is not, you know, they're just falling and they're reaching

[39:00] for the stars and they're barely touching their own foreheads.

[39:02] You know, they could have easily made the choice to not work the title awkwardly into

[39:07] a line.

[39:08] But they said, you got to do it.

[39:09] They I said, you got to do it.

[39:13] Lamar said, someone's got to do it, you know.

[39:15] So, yeah.

[39:16] And this is then we get kind of a montage just of him watching a bunch of news coverage

[39:20] of militaries hitting these tripods and shooting them and destroying them.

[39:24] And it seems like this footage would come much later than immediately.

[39:29] But no, right away.

[39:31] Meanwhile, Faith said her destination, you know, as much time to drive in a car to this

[39:39] other building as it takes.

[39:40] Yeah.

[39:41] The American military to mobilize around the world to get where the tripods are.

[39:45] Yeah.

[39:46] And luckily, because of their data, they're able to defeat these marshals.

[39:49] Oh, no, Stuart, I've got some bad news for you.

[39:52] What?

[39:53] What?

[39:54] Dan, tell him the bad news.

[39:55] I don't want to break his innocent little heart.

[39:56] Oh, it turns out that that's all that they want.

[39:59] That's all.

[40:00] that they want. They want our most precious data.

[40:04] I don't know if this is the point, but I'll just say already, they're after our data.

[40:07] And one of the news reporters says, they're after our most precious resource, our data.

[40:11] And I was like, hold on a second, hold on a second.

[40:14] Our social security numbers. Hold on a second.

[40:16] Our Amazon password. Well, that's the thing. It is a, I totally

[40:20] understand why Amazon, a company that makes most of its money off of cloud computing services,

[40:24] would consider data our most precious resource. But I think if you asked any human being on

[40:29] the face of the earth who does not work for Amazon, what the most precious resource is,

[40:33] it would not, it would be, I don't know, water, oxygen, you know, food, maybe, maybe timber,

[40:39] but that's even like second level, you know, but yeah, the song timber, but the, the idea

[40:46] that everyone's like, oh no, our data, what are we going to do now? Our data, it would

[40:50] make things inconvenient. Certainly the economy would collapse probably.

[40:53] But I think, you know, the, the idea that that's our most precious resource is very

[40:56] funny to me. It goes data, then it goes rare earth minerals,

[40:59] then it goes normal earth minerals, then it goes HDH for billionaires, then it goes ketamine

[41:04] for billionaires. Yeah. Also the idea that like they are apparently

[41:08] eating the data, they drain the data. So data, which is data, but the data also exists in

[41:13] multiple places. You can't just like, data is not a limited resource like water or air

[41:17] where if you ingest it, it's not there anymore. When someone steals your data, they, I mean,

[41:22] they can, I guess they could put something in place to block your, your access to it.

[41:26] But yeah, it's not like the data is like a little, it's funny. I mean, that's the crazy

[41:29] thing is this is a movie made by a technology company that seems to think data is like gold

[41:33] where if you steal it from a vault, it's not in the vault anymore.

[41:36] Anyway, it's a very, it's a stupid, I guess what I'm saying is this movie is stupid, but

[41:40] I may have jumped ahead. So Dan, tell us what's happening next.

[41:42] Yeah. Well, his son calls back to talk about Goliath, which Cube again yells at him.

[41:51] Wait, Dan, that's why he's named Dave because he's up against Goliath.

[41:56] Oh my fucking God. This is a brilliant movie.

[42:00] Oh my God, you're absolutely right. Cracked the Bible code on this one. What a stupid

[42:06] movie. Oh yeah, that's so dumb. The only way would it be better if then he defeated Goliath

[42:11] with a rock, by which I mean rock and roll music that was encoded to take down the government,

[42:15] but they don't care.

[42:17] So Will and the NASA lady realized the tripods are congregating at data centers. She goes

[42:23] in to investigate and it looks like she's eaten by nanobots or something for the moment.

[42:30] And Cube gets the alert, military systems, full data loss. And he switches to watching

[42:39] all this footage of military failures and he like, he has like the most wand like, oh

[42:44] no.

[42:45] Earlier when he saw the aliens, it was all like, oh shit, damn. And I was like, oh no,

[42:50] oh no. Yeah, it really requires him to just sit there and react to things. I mean, I will

[42:58] say this. I did feel during it, I, you gotta give, you gotta give a hand to Ice Cube for

[43:02] what is one of the most challenging types of role, which is just to sit there and react

[43:06] to things that don't exist. You can't move around. You're not in a room with another

[43:10] person. Like it's hard to do. It's hard to do something where you, all you're acting

[43:14] is basically in your torso from the waist up in your face and you have nothing to work

[43:18] with. Yeah. And there's no way that the maker of this movie like knew exactly what he was

[43:23] reacting to at that moment. Oh no. It just give us a lot of reactions of trouble. Oh

[43:27] no. Oh, we'll stick in some stock footage for you too. Oh, I mean like you could have

[43:33] shown that the old footage of a monkey watching a cat, like something, you know, any, anything

[43:37] you want. Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. So faith, uh, she has removed the rebar like a big dummy.

[43:44] She's like, I thought I could stop the bleeding if I pulled it out of me. It's like, no, you

[43:48] never want to do that. Everybody knows you leave it in there. Now you're more machine

[43:52] than man. You're regular Tetsuo. Yeah. The iron man. Yeah. Uh, but luckily there with

[43:58] magical Amazon packing tape to, uh, tape up that wound is a tape up the wound when, when,

[44:04] as I learned from poker face, we want to use this crazy glue. Yeah. I mean, I learned

[44:08] that from dog soldiers and then real life cause I realized soldiers. I mean, I use crazy

[44:13] glue all the time behind the bar. Anytime I cut my hands cause I'm constantly having

[44:18] to cut fucking fruit and shit and you don't want to get lime juice in a fresh cut. You

[44:22] certainly don't. So you just, that's why Elliot avoids all fruit just for safe. That's the

[44:27] main reason. That's the main reason. Yeah. Um, so back at the data center, it turns out

[44:32] Eva Longoria is fine. The data bots just wanted the data on her phone. Yeah. She doesn't

[44:39] know how many steps she took that day. It's been drained. Oh, aliens. Oh yeah. Fucked

[44:47] up a wordle street. No. Um, did we talk about the moment where a cube goes onto Facebook

[44:57] and he's like, Oh shit. Because the aliens are sucking up all the pictures of his wife.

[45:03] That's a little bit of data. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. They realized that the bots are coming

[45:09] after the data and yes, the phone message from, from the dead wife is deleted and they

[45:14] lose her Facebook page. The biggest tragedy of the whole thing. And it's one of the things

[45:18] where it's like, it's like take care of the cruise. Like it winds down like a tape player

[45:23] that's running out of batteries, which maybe that's how it would work. I don't know. I,

[45:27] I do like, I think it's, it tracks with your idea that this is a movie that was written

[45:32] by AI because isn't that AI is greatest fear that they don't have the data and like information

[45:37] to create stuff anymore. Like, isn't that how AI works? I mean, I would not use the

[45:42] word create. Uh, I would use the word it iterate or replicate, but yeah, that, I mean literally

[45:47] if, if, uh, there are, if you're talking, let's talk about large language models, guys,

[45:51] you just feed them with lots of data and then they can predict what's going to come next

[45:54] in a sentence or whatever. So yeah, if they don't have that data, then it's, it's, then

[45:58] they don't exist essentially. So, so these Martians are super horrifying for AI. Yes.

[46:03] Are they Martians officially in this? They just, they're just aliens. They never say

[46:06] where they're from. Dan, are they Martians? Did they say if they're Martians? No one.

[46:11] They don't have a passport or anything. This movie is incredibly not curious about the

[46:16] nature of the aliens that have attacked the earth, which some would say is, are controversial.

[46:21] Controversially, maybe I'll say this, the most interesting aspect of war of the worlds

[46:25] that it is about aliens invading earth. This movie doesn't seem to be that interested in

[46:29] that part of it, to be honest. Yeah. Um, so we'll tunes into, I would even argue that

[46:34] if you take the alien at heart out of war of the worlds, you don't have that much of

[46:37] a story left, right? Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Well, it would be very strange. There's like a gaping

[46:43] hole in the middle of the narrative. It was all about disruptor. Uh, speaking of disruptor

[46:50] is live streaming, uh, we'll watch as it, uh, the disrupt disruptors. Like I tried to

[46:55] warn you data is this planet's most precious resource. These aliens feed on data. The government

[47:00] knew this would happen and started Goliath anyway. And I'm like, what, what are you talking?

[47:06] But it's all, it makes sense, Dan. Then we'll does something to decrypt the voice disguise

[47:11] program that disruptors using. And I'm like, you never thought to do this at any point

[47:15] earlier at all. Never occurred to him. Of course, no one will be shocked to learn that

[47:21] this is his, his own child. Yeah. It's incredibly, it's incredibly obvious the whole time that

[47:26] it's saving, but it's, he might as well just right clicked and selected the option reveal

[47:29] face of disruptor. Like it's so easy for him to figure out the identity. Lighten photograph

[47:35] to remove shadow on disruptor's face. Computer enhanced the movie. Yeah. Computer tell me

[47:43] who disruptor is. Oh my son. Okay. And, uh, Dave sends a file on Goliath, but ice cube

[47:48] is still resistant to believing that the government does bad stuff, even though he literally works

[47:53] in intelligence, even though he is what the bad stuff the government is doing. Yeah. Uh,

[47:59] but he goes through the files. I just realized later on there's an actual Dave's not here

[48:02] man situations. That's another old comedy thing we can, we can, we can refer to. Uh,

[48:10] he goes through the files that, uh, are sent, he sent over. He's like, Dave was right. They

[48:14] knew they lied to me. And I'm most of the stuff is just like area 51 and articles about

[48:20] that. I'm like, what are you talking about? What's the real story? Okay. Blown away. Yeah.

[48:27] Does he have to say yeah. Rock and roll the color wars. Can't take it anymore. Yeah. Clark

[48:31] Gregg is in a meeting literally saying essentially, I don't care that evil aliens will come down

[48:37] and eat our data. When we launched Goliath, Goliath is the only thing that will keep us

[48:41] safe, which again, he talks about, he likes to tell us what people are thinking and it's

[48:47] never quite clear what makes Goliath worse than what ice cube is doing. But it is true.

[48:51] He literally is like, yeah, let the aliens come. I'm going to build this thing anyway.

[48:55] So yeah. I mean, ultimately in this case, like if, if the aliens are coming and devouring

[49:01] the data that turns us into a surveillance state, like bring the fucking aliens on. Right.

[49:05] I mean, but the aliens are also killing a lot of people. Yeah. Cause we're protecting

[49:09] our data. If we just let them take the data, then I guess we'd be fine. Yeah. Yeah. Which

[49:14] I think is their strategy, right? They try and poison the data. So you do, maybe it's

[49:18] just hyping up an event so that people pay attention to what happens, but disruptor spends

[49:22] a lot of time saying, I'm going to release these Goliath files before he actually releases

[49:27] them. And it seems like it might've been easier if he just released them. I don't know. Anytime

[49:32] in the past, however long he's had them, you know, aliens showed up. Yeah. Yeah. Like

[49:37] maybe before the aliens showed up, um, when it would've done some good calls up, uh, Clark

[49:43] Gregg to yell at him. And so Greg just fires him and revokes his clearance. And, uh, that's

[49:48] it guys. The movie's over. Oh, you like briefly cuts out his internet access. And I'm like,

[49:53] yeah, yeah. I figured he was going to lose internet access at some point when aliens

[49:57] are blowing up all the satellites.

[50:00] Anyway, just a block the aliens the aliens satellite killers are not as powerful as Clark Gregg. Yeah

[50:06] Yeah, but no, I mean, yes, we do see him working out right? So, you know, it's true strong guy

[50:11] Of course, that's not the end actually disruptor X. I see another movie

[50:16] He gives he gives

[50:19] Access back with a war games. Shall we play a game?

[50:22] Well

[50:25] When we were young

[50:27] Uh

[50:28] back in the system

[50:30] You know like working together they enlist

[50:33] Disruptors hacker friends to of course, it's the war of the worlds. They got to make a virus. Yeah

[50:40] and

[50:41] They're they're gonna say it's a computer virus in an original idea from the movie Independence Day. Yeah

[50:49] I probably existed before that too. But yeah, the upload is interrupted though because attacks are escalating and they

[50:57] They start to target the hackers including Dave whose location is that? Oh, no, he's dead. But no, of course, he's not

[51:06] They did it yeah, you did it Cheech and Chong and he reveals that he had a green screen behind him of his own house

[51:14] Of his own living room to fool his dad

[51:19] Evil on Gory calls back. She's like hey these aliens are part robot part organic

[51:23] So, of course, we also need the other kid faith that DNA

[51:29] Stuff that she was working on so they can make a hybrid computer slash real virus or something

[51:34] I guess some phrase I'm trying to remember what the phrase is that she keeps using where she's like

[51:39] What is like part date like part data part organic or something like that?

[51:43] There's some for it some very strange artificial sounding phrase that she keeps repeating word-for-word when she describes them

[51:49] Part cyber, that's what she's like. There's part organic part cyber. Everyone's talking about cyber these days

[51:54] Yeah, sir. Our cyber the Wolverine bad guy. Mmm cyber Monday's cyber the Wolverine bad guy

[52:01] cyber

[52:03] Tron cyber sexy. Yep. Yeah cybernetics. Yeah

[52:11] Scientology which is Scientology for computers. Mmm. Yeah, the government is gonna bomb DC

[52:19] Because

[52:21] So they're

[52:23] They want to bomb

[52:25] specifically the building that ice cube is in to

[52:29] Level it to the data to protect the data the Goliath that's in the basement

[52:35] Yes

[52:35] Goliath is underneath the building and the aliens are going towards Goliath and Goliath is the most important of the data

[52:42] So they need to stop the aliens to get from into it by exactly

[52:45] Collapsing the building on top of it so they could never dig through to get it

[52:48] These are aliens with intergalactic travel and or interplanetary travel east and lasers

[52:53] But I guess rubble would stop them from getting to Goliath, you know

[52:57] And it is at this point

[52:59] We're led to believe one that Clark Gregg basically has total control of the American military and the world military

[53:06] There's a moment earlier on where they go

[53:08] Everyone's binding together

[53:09] UN America

[53:11] NATO so America's part of NATO like that's not

[53:14] NATO is not a separate thing that we have nothing to do it

[53:16] The only time NATO was ever called up on mass was to help America in Afghanistan

[53:21] So the idea that it's a Dan was saying that he earlier

[53:24] Dan was saying I don't know what you're gonna claim I was

[53:27] But the US should leave NATO because it's no they're they're a taker state is when you also say because you were also saying how?

[53:34] Putin is doing the right thing. No, why would we stand in his way when Ukraine was historically?

[53:39] We're just pretending Dan likes it says terrible things Dan never really said that no

[53:43] And we all we all stand in support still with the Patriots in Ukraine. We're fighting for their freedom in their country

[53:48] but anyway going back to what we were talking about before the idea that

[53:51] Clark read Greg is in control of all of this military power and also and nobody can seem to stop him

[53:57] But also that it's never quite clear what it is about Goliath's data

[54:00] That is so incredibly important that basically he'll allow the world to burn in order to keep

[54:05] Goliath a dare, you know to keep it going. Um, so they've got this plan to take care of

[54:14] Goliath with this virus, but cube takes a little time to write his kids and if I die email first

[54:19] But he takes the time to put a delayed

[54:23] Send on that. Yeah

[54:26] He needs a thumb drive though to deliver it manually and he doesn't have one because he's in such a secure office

[54:31] So it's up to Amazon

[54:34] to come to the rescue

[54:36] with

[54:37] This is okay. So this is when the movie it was so stupid up to this point

[54:42] Yeah, and it gets it's I was like, there's no way they can't get stupider

[54:45] but just like just like with hundreds of Beavers where I was like

[54:48] There's no way this movie could get any sillier than it is now and then it does this movie get to keep getting stupider

[54:53] So yeah, and I would just love to say it. Luckily Mark Goodman baby mama and Amazon delivery driver

[54:59] Baby daddy, I'm sorry, baby. Daddy. That's it. Well, yeah, maybe it's a junior type

[55:04] Baby daddy and Amazon delivery driver he goes I can get you a

[55:08] Flash drive or whatever I can get it to you with this Amazon drone. Yeah, we use these drones now

[55:13] It's the future of delivery

[55:14] He does a short little infomercial for Amazon drones

[55:16] He goes but you have to go on the website and order it first start a purchase this part

[55:20] It's started ticket so I can do it

[55:21] So the world is falling apart ice cubes running out of time all the satellites have been knocked out

[55:26] Luckily the Amazon website still works. He has to go on and buy and buy a flash drive

[55:32] Chose to buy a flash drive, right? Cuz doesn't he have a flash drive? Yeah, it's got the same flash

[55:39] Something cheaper than a flash drive like some like shoelace what you know, he's thinking very literally, you know

[55:46] It's a one-to-one but it's does the stupidity doesn't stop there because now we get into the movie essentially becomes a

[55:52] Theme park simulator ride as we are watching the I guess the drones point of view as Mark

[55:58] Goodman has to fly it past the aliens to get it to the building Dan tells about the sequence is amazing past the tripods

[56:05] But they also enlist like a military drone to protect the Amazon drone

[56:12] He manages to hack into like a predator like a predator hunter drone or whatever

[56:16] They're called. Yeah, and is it and is shooting the aliens and it's one of these things where you're like

[56:20] So

[56:22] They the military could be doing this right now

[56:24] like what were one of these movies where an amateur gets a hold of military equipment and is like

[56:29] Oh, oh and is able to handle it like a professional and yeah, it's it's all bonkers. It's all

[56:35] Starfightering. Yeah. Oh no a model missiles

[56:39] Yeah, they do this small-scale drone dogfight

[56:42] But the drone with the valuable Thunder thumb drive falls and it's it can't get up because it's on its back

[56:49] So they see a guy

[56:52] nearby cowering from the tripods

[56:55] They find out what his phone number is and they're like sir

[56:58] Can you flip over that drone and to do it they bribe him with a thousand dollar Amazon gift card more more Amazon

[57:05] Thank You Amazon for say thank you Amazon for helping us laugh at love again

[57:12] Bonkers how much it like Amazon funded this like if they want to put their little thing in there like like I don't

[57:19] think they're a thousand problems the Amazon as a company, but they have

[57:24] Certainly the right to advertise in their own movie, but to do it to this degree

[57:30] Egregious

[57:32] There's three levels, right?

[57:33] There's subtle where like you see Amazon packages in the background or the or the heroes and Amazon's living driver

[57:38] But he's not doing Amazon stuff

[57:40] Then there is egregious where everyone is talking about how great Amazon is and the hero of the movie is like that is

[57:46] What's the same Jeff Bezos thing then there's this level which I feel like goes past egregious to ludicrous

[57:52] Where it is so funny to me because the it starts to be like I guess this is why humans are here on this earth

[57:57] To to serve Amazon and use Amazon. Thank you God for making Amazon. That's basically where we're at

[58:03] You know

[58:03] I don't have it in my notes exactly when like one of them's at the end of the movie like there are two times when

[58:09] Ice cube refers to like what they do as like seeing what is in people's Amazon carts like the surveillance

[58:15] That's the example

[58:20] It's our most precious secrets and data

[58:23] This is also the I mean they gloss over how the guy whose cell phone they're using it is a homeless guy, right?

[58:28] So I'm not sure how he's certainly cowering in a tent underneath an overpass

[58:34] Yeah, so but he doesn't necessarily clarify. They do say that he has a phone. I don't know

[58:39] It's I mean, that's it

[58:40] But I was just I then I started wondering well

[58:42] Where's he gonna get his stuff sent to when he uses this Amazon gift card?

[58:45] Does he have a computer and I shouldn't have to think about these things?

[58:47] You know, they would they should have clarified in the movie that he would use an Amazon Dropbox and pick it up

[58:56] Products I

[58:57] Feel like Amazon has tricked us into promoting Amazon. So I just want to say guys listeners. We are not from

[59:06] They

[59:07] Treat their workers abysmally like they're they're led by one of many evil billionaires who is more more interested in jacking up his his

[59:14] Biceps than in using his money to help people all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah and actively supported this terrible regime

[59:21] We're under only after it only after he realized he was not gonna profit off of

[59:26] Fighting the regime Dan. So he tried it one way

[59:28] He did not make money the way he thought because he might lose his military cloud computing services contracts

[59:33] And so he flipped the other way. Yeah ruining the Washington Post among other things a lot of bad stuff. Okay. Anyway looking like a

[59:42] C-minus version of pitbull

[59:45] Take that visas, but he did show Venice how to throw a wedding

[59:50] so

[59:51] Mark pilots a drone through the building to the server room a tentacle grabs him and he says move bitch get out the way

[59:57] You know, that's not an Ice Cube song

[1:00:00] That's ludicrous.

[1:00:00] He can quote other songs, Dan.

[1:00:02] It's not that ludicrous.

[1:00:03] Yeah, it's pretty, pretty crazy.

[1:00:08] In the server room, he's covered with more tentacles,

[1:00:10] but just manages to plug in the USB.

[1:00:13] Guys, I love Ice Cube,

[1:00:14] but I feel like if Ludicrous had been in this role,

[1:00:16] I would have liked it more.

[1:00:17] I think it certainly would have added an extra element

[1:00:20] of unpredictability.

[1:00:21] I mean, he plays a tech specialist

[1:00:22] in the Fast and Furious movies.

[1:00:23] Yeah, that's true.

[1:00:24] As Tej.

[1:00:25] Yeah, I mean.

[1:00:26] No, tech.

[1:00:27] I liked Ice Cube too,

[1:00:29] but he has a certain like glowering energy

[1:00:32] that I think Ludicrous has like a more energy energy

[1:00:34] that would go well with this.

[1:00:35] I think it would be harder for Ludicrous to sit still

[1:00:38] for the amount of time the movie requires.

[1:00:40] That's true.

[1:00:40] He does have experience with like fisheye lenses,

[1:00:43] so that would be cool.

[1:00:44] That's true.

[1:00:46] So the tripods start shutting down.

[1:00:48] The bombing gets aborted just in time.

[1:00:51] And.

[1:00:52] Because he has, on the flash drive

[1:00:55] is the computer version of the actual virus.

[1:01:01] Actual, I mean, viruses are not living things,

[1:01:02] but they are genetic related.

[1:01:03] It's a computer version of a genetic DNA virus

[1:01:07] that his kids worked on together.

[1:01:09] And so he's able to upload that.

[1:01:11] Somehow made very quickly.

[1:01:13] I don't know even how you hybridize those two things.

[1:01:16] I don't, yeah, I don't know how you would do it,

[1:01:17] but they did it within minutes.

[1:01:19] This is, and again, I think.

[1:01:20] We're not the smartest family in the world.

[1:01:22] No, no, no, they are.

[1:01:23] I mean, yeah, basically,

[1:01:24] it's basically the Fantastic Four, right?

[1:01:27] The Fantastic Four, which was,

[1:01:28] so Ice Cube would be Reed Richards, I guess.

[1:01:32] Faith is the Thing.

[1:01:36] Wait, no, I think Ice Cube is the Thing.

[1:01:39] Ice Cube is the Thing, yeah.

[1:01:39] Dave is Reed Richards, or maybe he's Johnny Storm.

[1:01:42] He's Johnny Storm.

[1:01:43] He's Johnny Storm, except Mark,

[1:01:44] except Mark is more like Johnny Storm.

[1:01:46] He's like, he's kind of a goofball.

[1:01:48] Yeah.

[1:01:49] But he gets things done.

[1:01:50] Faith is Reed Richards,

[1:01:51] and Dave is the Invisible Woman

[1:01:54] because he's hiding his identity behind this disruptor.

[1:01:56] Yeah.

[1:01:57] And he's like really into Namor.

[1:02:00] Yeah, yeah, and he's got hots for fishmen.

[1:02:03] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[1:02:04] Do you guys ever think about the Shape of Water

[1:02:06] as Fantastic Four erotic fanfic?

[1:02:09] Always.

[1:02:09] Okay.

[1:02:10] She's the Invisible Woman

[1:02:11] because people don't notice her at work,

[1:02:12] and he's Namor because he's a fishman.

[1:02:14] We did.

[1:02:15] And Michael Shannon is basically Galactus, right?

[1:02:18] Oh, yeah.

[1:02:19] Not necessarily.

[1:02:22] So, you know.

[1:02:24] He's more like Claw, the Mad Master of Sound, I guess, but.

[1:02:28] Happy ending.

[1:02:29] We get a little bit of an epilogue.

[1:02:31] We see Faith getting Ice Cube's posthumous email,

[1:02:35] as we also see news stories.

[1:02:37] And it's implied that Ice Cube may have died, right?

[1:02:39] Yeah, yeah.

[1:02:40] But we see footage of news stories

[1:02:42] about all the good guys getting promoted

[1:02:44] and the bad guys getting arrested.

[1:02:46] But it turns out, no, he's not dead after all.

[1:02:50] He gets a call from an official

[1:02:51] asking him to head up an ethical surveillance program,

[1:02:54] but he says, I'm done watching us.

[1:02:56] Now I'm watching you guys.

[1:02:57] And I'm like, that's gonna get you arrested.

[1:02:59] Like, don't tell them.

[1:03:00] Don't tell them, man.

[1:03:01] I mean, there are legal ways

[1:03:02] to keep an eye on the government.

[1:03:03] He could be just making FOIA requests and things like that.

[1:03:05] Yeah, but they're gonna start, you know,

[1:03:07] they're gonna surveil him now.

[1:03:09] And then, yeah, we get footage of the baby shower

[1:03:11] where he's wearing the Amazon product

[1:03:13] that was suggested him to purchase

[1:03:14] at the beginning of the movie.

[1:03:15] Yep, yep.

[1:03:17] So the Secretary of Defense, I think it is,

[1:03:20] he's like, yeah, we wanna collect people's information

[1:03:21] in an ethical way.

[1:03:22] And I feel like the movie,

[1:03:24] it falls short of making the point

[1:03:26] that there is no ethical way particularly to do that.

[1:03:29] There's always an amount of invasion of privacy involved.

[1:03:32] But yeah, he says, now he's like a freedom fighter

[1:03:34] with his son.

[1:03:36] Maybe this shows that I'm just a regular bourgeois dad,

[1:03:39] but I was like, so how's he gonna pay his bills?

[1:03:41] Like, that's not a job that you'd like get a salary for.

[1:03:44] Like, does he still get his Department

[1:03:46] of Homeland Security pension?

[1:03:47] Is that what he's living off of now?

[1:03:49] Like, how's he gonna make ends meet?

[1:03:51] He probably just sold his life rights or something.

[1:03:53] I mean, that's the movie we're watching right now.

[1:03:55] Yeah. Yeah.

[1:03:57] How much do you think this movie costs?

[1:03:58] This is the kind of movie that looks like it costs nothing.

[1:04:00] That's a really good question.

[1:04:01] But it probably costs like $300 million

[1:04:04] or something like that, you know?

[1:04:06] I wouldn't go that high.

[1:04:06] I mean, we can probably find it out.

[1:04:07] You think it's more like 3,000 billion dollars?

[1:04:10] I do think that a lot of what we see

[1:04:11] is literally stock footage.

[1:04:13] They just threw some tripods on some of it.

[1:04:18] So yeah, do you guys have, are you able to find out or?

[1:04:23] No, I don't see anything on the Wikipedia page.

[1:04:26] Let me tap into Goliath and see if it tells me.

[1:04:28] Okay.

[1:04:29] This is a good way of spending your time.

[1:04:31] Worlds of worlds, let's check this out.

[1:04:34] Sex and nudity, none.

[1:04:35] Violence and gore, mild.

[1:04:37] Mild is, I think, the right, yeah.

[1:04:39] Parents.

[1:04:40] Yeah, what does Common Sense Media say about the budget?

[1:04:43] We'll give you the technical specs.

[1:04:47] Dolby Digital 5.1, okay.

[1:04:50] Read us some goofs.

[1:04:50] We'll give you goofs.

[1:04:51] Actually, there are no goofs.

[1:04:52] The movie is perfect.

[1:04:53] Yeah, when I pull up goofs, it says 404 error.

[1:04:58] Page not found.

[1:04:59] Does not compute.

[1:05:01] So Dan, what else are we gonna talk about?

[1:05:03] Well, this is where we do our final judgments,

[1:05:05] whether this is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie,

[1:05:08] or a movie we kind of liked.

[1:05:10] The Metacritic score is six.

[1:05:12] Is that out of 10?

[1:05:14] Probably.

[1:05:15] Probably.

[1:05:15] I think it's out of 100.

[1:05:18] So.

[1:05:19] No, I mean 1,000.

[1:05:21] As it started out, it was pretty slow

[1:05:25] because it is a movie about a man

[1:05:27] sitting in a room watching footage.

[1:05:30] But the thing picked up steam.

[1:05:32] So I will say, yeah, it's a good, bad movie.

[1:05:36] Like, one of the things about The Flop House

[1:05:39] is we used to watch the movies all together

[1:05:41] when that was a thing we could do.

[1:05:43] Now, obviously, we have to watch them on our own.

[1:05:45] And I think this one would have been a lot of fun

[1:05:49] all watching it together.

[1:05:50] As someone watching it alone,

[1:05:53] it didn't have the same bad movie joy

[1:05:55] that I think you could achieve with this.

[1:06:00] But I think it's there.

[1:06:01] So I'm gonna say good, bad.

[1:06:02] Yeah, I feel like the first half hour or so

[1:06:05] felt like two hours.

[1:06:07] But once stuff actually starts happening

[1:06:10] and it really, like, initially,

[1:06:13] I was just uncomfortable with how.

[1:06:17] Aroused you were?

[1:06:18] Yeah, how aroused I was at the concept

[1:06:20] of a dad just watching anybody he wants.

[1:06:23] It plays into a lot of your fantasies,

[1:06:26] but you wanna be the watched one.

[1:06:27] You don't have to watch her.

[1:06:28] Yeah, I'm an exhibitionist, guys.

[1:06:30] I think we all know that.

[1:06:31] Well, you guys follow me on Instagram, right?

[1:06:35] But yeah, once it picks up

[1:06:38] and we really get the full scope

[1:06:40] of the stupidity of this movie,

[1:06:42] I think it ends up being pretty fun.

[1:06:44] So I will say I think it's hard is in the wrong place,

[1:06:47] but this is a good, bad movie.

[1:06:49] I am going to agree with what you guys said.

[1:06:51] I actually enjoyed watching it by myself a lot,

[1:06:55] but for not the reasons that the filmmakers intended.

[1:06:57] I think it is a good, bad movie.

[1:06:59] It's very stupid.

[1:07:00] It has the message that Amazon is the most benevolent

[1:07:04] of corporate overlords

[1:07:05] and that there are good ways and bad ways

[1:07:08] of being an intrusive surveillance state.

[1:07:10] I don't love that a lot of the attack footage

[1:07:13] is actual disaster footage

[1:07:15] with CGI alien tripods inserted into it.

[1:07:19] That's kind of icky.

[1:07:20] But otherwise, if you wanna watch the dumbest movie

[1:07:23] of 2025, then you only have one option,

[1:07:28] and that's War of the Worlds.

[1:07:30] So I would say watch it for the wrong reasons

[1:07:34] if you're gonna watch it.

[1:07:36] But I would also say good, bad movie.

[1:07:38] Yeah, you called this maybe the dumbest movie,

[1:07:40] and I don't know if I can go that far,

[1:07:41] but it's certainly perhaps the dumbest movie

[1:07:43] with actual movie stars in it.

[1:07:46] I feel like even no-name indie movies,

[1:07:50] this is, there's just a, there's a core of,

[1:07:53] there's a hard, molten core.

[1:07:55] I know it can be hard and molten at the same time.

[1:07:56] There's this kind of intense core of stupidity

[1:07:59] that the entire movie revolves around.

[1:08:01] And just when you think the movie has gotten really dumb,

[1:08:05] then it suddenly leaps up again and gets even dumber.

[1:08:07] And in that way, at times, it has the,

[1:08:10] I guess the nicest thing I'll say about it

[1:08:11] is at times has the breakneck insanity

[1:08:15] of two children playing a make-believe game together

[1:08:17] where they're just inventing it as they go along,

[1:08:20] you know?

[1:08:21] But in a negative way for this movie.

[1:08:23] But it is, it's just so, it's just really dumb.

[1:08:26] Just a really dumb movie.

[1:08:27] I really can't wait for them to make

[1:08:29] like a Universal Studios-style theme park ride

[1:08:32] for this movie where you're just sitting

[1:08:33] in a desk chair and you're experiencing the whole thing.

[1:08:36] Looking at a screen the whole time.

[1:08:37] Yeah, this thing could have,

[1:08:38] this thing would have crushed in 40X, right?

[1:08:40] Where you're just smelling office smells.

[1:08:44] Yeah, Cube spills his coffee and water sprays on you.

[1:08:48] Breathing recycled air.

[1:08:55] On Judge John Hodgman, the courtroom is fake,

[1:08:57] but the disputes are real.

[1:09:00] Brian would say, I'm the Gumby of this family.

[1:09:03] He's just not.

[1:09:04] Claiming to be Gumby is an un-Gumby-like claim.

[1:09:09] No, it's just Gumby and I being our authentic selves.

[1:09:12] So what's your complaint?

[1:09:13] Too many sauces?

[1:09:14] There are no foods on which to put the sauces.

[1:09:18] Have we named all the sauces on the top shelf yet?

[1:09:19] Not, not even close.

[1:09:21] You economize when it comes to pants.

[1:09:24] Truly, it's not about the cleanliness of the pants.

[1:09:26] Well, why isn't it?

[1:09:27] This is what I want to know.

[1:09:29] Judge John Hodgman.

[1:09:30] Fake court, weird cases, real justice.

[1:09:34] On MaximumFun.org, YouTube,

[1:09:36] and everywhere you get podcasts.

[1:09:39] It's hard to explain what Jordan Jesse Go is about.

[1:09:42] So I had my kids take a stab at it.

[1:09:44] Probably weird stuff.

[1:09:46] You talk about jobs that are annoying.

[1:09:50] Uh-huh.

[1:09:51] Hmm, business.

[1:09:52] I think you probably learned your lesson

[1:09:54] after talking about business a couple of times.

[1:09:57] Growing up, jokes that I don't understand.

[1:10:00] then there's no point in making all the podcasts all the way.

[1:10:09] Subscribe to Jordan Jesse Go, a comedy show for grown-ups.

[1:10:13] Hey, in addition to the kind support of listeners like you,

[1:10:17] this podcast is brought to you in part by Squarespace.

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[1:10:27] and get paid on time with on-brand invoices and online payments.

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[1:11:14] Hey, we're all busy, especially if your name is Elliot.

[1:11:18] And between busy schedules and plans with friends,

[1:11:22] sometimes you don't have a lot of time to think about what you're going to eat,

[1:11:27] which is important because, you know, if I know one thing, food makes body go.

[1:11:33] Well, Factor is dedicated to helping you eat smarter with tasty chef-prepped meals

[1:11:39] that are delivered right to your door.

[1:11:42] You can get from a wide selection of weekly meal options.

[1:11:46] Choose the one you want, including premium seafood choices like salmon

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[1:11:54] they've got some Asian-inspired meals with bold flavors influenced by China,

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[1:12:11] Feel the difference, no matter your routine. I've enjoyed these meals.

[1:12:15] I'm a man who, unlike the aforementioned Elliot, loves to cook,

[1:12:19] but that doesn't mean that sometimes I'm not also extremely lazy.

[1:12:23] And if I'm lazy, I don't want to be eating something that's junk.

[1:12:26] I want to be eating something that feels like I'm still giving my body the things it needs.

[1:12:34] And Factor is both healthy and delicious.

[1:12:38] So eat smart at factormeals.com

[1:12:41] slash flop50off and use code flop50off to get 50% off your first box.

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[1:13:06] and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase.

[1:13:10] And some Flophouse news. We have sold out our Chicago show.

[1:13:17] So we are adding a late show.

[1:13:19] If you wanted to hear us talk about taking care of business at 7 p.m.,

[1:13:23] I'm sorry, you snossed and you lost.

[1:13:26] But now you can hear us talk about another Jim Belushi film at 9 p.m.

[1:13:31] And speaking of 9, the film is Canine,

[1:13:34] the second best action comedy from 1989 about a cop and his dog,

[1:13:39] which also makes it the worst action comedy from 1989 about a cop and his dog.

[1:13:44] So if you want tickets, go to sleeping-village.com for the date of Sunday, November 16.

[1:13:52] And we hope to see you there for the late show when things get a little blue.

[1:13:57] Bada dee bada die.

[1:14:01] Now, if you can't go to Chicago and you can't make it there,

[1:14:04] we understand you're going to be missing out on what's going to be a really fantastic show,

[1:14:08] but you will have access in your home to a different kind of Flophouse show through your computer.

[1:14:15] That's right. We are bringing back Flop TV,

[1:14:18] the online video one-hour television version of the Flophouse starting the first Saturday in September

[1:14:25] and continuing every month after that on the first Saturday of each month through February.

[1:14:30] Not every month after that until the end of time.

[1:14:33] There's six episodes. So for six months, the first Saturday of each month,

[1:14:37] we are going to be doing our online live show.

[1:14:40] You can get tickets at theflophouse.simpletics.com.

[1:14:43] For this season, season three, we are branding it as Flopsterpiece Theater.

[1:14:47] Each episode will travel through time to a different decade to see a major flop from that decade.

[1:14:53] We're starting with the 2000s in September with The Adventures of Pluto Nash, a movie I'm still not quite sure exists.

[1:15:00] So I'm kind of excited to see it. And then we'll be continuing through.

[1:15:04] After that, we'll be doing Jack Frost, the Michael Keaton one, Xanadu, Zardoz, Dr. Doolittle,

[1:15:10] the Rex Harrison one, and Plan 9 from Outer Space, a classic flop movie that we've never talked about.

[1:15:16] Go to theflophouse.simpletics.com to get tickets.

[1:15:18] Again, that's the first Saturday in every month on your computer.

[1:15:21] But if you can't make it that time that day, that's okay.

[1:15:24] If you have a ticket, you have access to the recorded video of that episode

[1:15:28] for the entirety of the run of the series that's right through February.

[1:15:32] So you can buy tickets in January and watch all the episodes.

[1:15:36] You can buy tickets in December and watch all the episodes.

[1:15:37] I think you should buy the tickets now, but you can do that later if you want to.

[1:15:41] And I would suggest getting the season pass. That's a six-show bundle.

[1:15:44] You get six episodes for the price of five. There's a discount on that one.

[1:15:47] It's like you're getting a free episode. It's like you're stealing an episode of the show right from us.

[1:15:52] No, no, don't steal that episode.

[1:15:54] No, don't do it. Don't do it. It's reverse psychology. You should do it. Don't do it. No.

[1:15:58] So that's theflophouse.simpletics.com for Flop TV Season 3.

[1:16:02] We've had so much fun in the past with Flop TV. We're trying new things with it.

[1:16:05] It's going to be really fun. Join us September 6th, the first Saturday in September,

[1:16:09] and then the first Saturday of the month each month after that through February.

[1:16:13] Let us take a moment to talk to you, the listeners.

[1:16:17] To reflect on the Lord and his bounty and blessings.

[1:16:21] Through the medium of emails from you, the listeners.

[1:16:24] This first letter from listeners, it's a coined phrase, is from Sar, last name withheld, who writes,

[1:16:34] I've been hosting a weekly science podcast for 12 plus years, and I get two kinds of correction emails.

[1:16:41] One, you are not as precise as I would like you to be. And two, big flub.

[1:16:46] Nice job, dummy. I don't get a lot, but the actual mistakes linger in the back of my brain.

[1:16:52] An example of the first kind of letter would be when I jokingly suggested that if there are deep caves on the moon,

[1:16:58] a scientific possibility, then it would make for the scariest cave diving ever.

[1:17:02] A listener wrote in to let me know that there would never be water in the moon caves.

[1:17:07] The worst of the latter kind of correction, because that's the only way to use dive.

[1:17:10] Yeah. Yeah. The latter kind of correction was 10 years ago.

[1:17:14] I apparently said nuclear George W.

[1:17:17] Spot style instead of nuclear. I was afraid to say that word for years.

[1:17:23] I noticed you sometimes practice defensive podcasting and tell people not to write in about some mistake in the moment.

[1:17:28] So I'm guessing there are some you dread. What kind of corrections do you get the most of which is stuck with you?

[1:17:35] Sorrow lasting withheld. I mean, I honestly people are pretty nice about correcting us like overall.

[1:17:47] Like I don't think we get the worst of it. I see other podcasts get a lot more agro energy from listeners.

[1:17:57] But the stuff I dread is when I like say something wrong about movies because that's the topic of the show.

[1:18:03] And I'm like, well, my supposed expertise is all that I have.

[1:18:07] Like there's like one time when I think I attributed a Martin Bress movie to Walter Hill or something.

[1:18:11] And I was like, oh, and now that mistake is there forever.

[1:18:16] But I don't know. What do you guys think? Yeah, I'm not that worried about it anymore.

[1:18:22] I feel like probably at the start of doing the show,

[1:18:24] I was a little more concerned that I might look foolish by saying something that's incorrect, but I've gotten over that and don't care.

[1:18:33] And when it comes to people writing in letters, if if I don't like the energy, I don't read it.

[1:18:41] I ignore it. The kind of corrections that stick with me are more the ones for like I've used a word that was insensitive.

[1:18:46] I've been here and what I'm saying, of course, it sounds like I'm saying something I don't really that I'm not intending to say.

[1:18:52] But then there are also sometimes times when someone catches me in a factual error and it just gets to me because I'm the kind of guy that those stick out to.

[1:18:58] And I like to be the guy who catches other people in factual errors, as you may have guessed from this very podcast.

[1:19:03] Everyone loves that guy. Yeah, everybody loves him.

[1:19:06] It took me a long time in my into my 20s to realize like, oh, nobody likes being corrected ever.

[1:19:11] Yeah, no one's ever like thank you for reminding for telling me that.

[1:19:13] I'm glad that that I now have it correct. But every now and then,

[1:19:17] although I feel like it is a sign of growth to be able to receive that correction and then and then respond in a way that isn't defensive.

[1:19:26] Yes, that's true. That's the hard part.

[1:19:28] Yeah, for me, it's it's when if I've if I've said something in a sloppy way because we don't write this show ahead of time,

[1:19:33] we're just talking off the top of our heads and there's an inadvertent implication or consequence.

[1:19:38] That's when I feel the worst about it. Yeah. No, agreed on that.

[1:19:42] Sam last name withheld rights. Sam was Gamgee.

[1:19:46] Well, I'm G and he pronounces Gamgee, dude, Gamgee.

[1:19:49] I don't know. He's fictional, Stu. So get off my back.

[1:19:51] We're all sorry. I'm sorry. We all exist in the dreams of a mad guy.

[1:19:57] We all live in a simulation hologram of some kind.

[1:20:00] Sam writes, I met Anthony Bourdain at a book signing and told him how impressed I was that

[1:20:06] he narrated his own audiobooks.

[1:20:09] His reply, what else am I going to do?

[1:20:12] Get Jeremy Irons to narrate that shit?

[1:20:15] So my question to you is-

[1:20:16] Sounds like Anthony Bourdain.

[1:20:17] That was a solid Bourdain impression right there, Dan.

[1:20:19] Yeah, that was.

[1:20:20] My question to you, I didn't know you had that one up your sleeve, is what celebrity

[1:20:24] would you like to-

[1:20:25] Do another Anthony Bourdain.

[1:20:26] I can't.

[1:20:27] Now do Anthony Bourdain.

[1:20:28] I wasn't-

[1:20:29] Do you want some of this shit?

[1:20:30] Okay, pretty good.

[1:20:31] Pretty good.

[1:20:32] Yeah, pretty good.

[1:20:33] He would not like that shit.

[1:20:34] Yeah.

[1:20:35] Yeah.

[1:20:36] The question is, what celebrity would we like to narrate our memoirs?

[1:20:37] Oh.

[1:20:38] I'm just going to pick, not out of who I think would play me the most accurately, but

[1:20:39] who I would like to hear the voice of saying my memoirs is Phoebe Waller-Bridge.

[1:20:40] Okay.

[1:20:41] Fair.

[1:20:42] Yeah.

[1:20:43] Elliot, you got a hot one?

[1:20:44] Yeah, probably.

[1:20:45] Yeah.

[1:20:46] Yeah.

[1:20:47] Yeah.

[1:20:48] Yeah.

[1:20:49] Yeah.

[1:20:50] Yeah.

[1:20:51] Yeah.

[1:20:52] Yeah.

[1:20:53] Yeah.

[1:20:54] Yeah.

[1:20:55] Yeah.

[1:20:57] Elliot, do you got a hot one?

[1:20:59] Yeah, probably Cassandra Peterson.

[1:21:01] That's an amazing choice.

[1:21:03] Of course, mine is Mr. McDonald's himself, Brian Cox.

[1:21:07] Oh.

[1:21:08] Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah.

[1:21:09] I love it.

[1:21:10] Thanks.

[1:21:11] So those are the letters, but move on.

[1:21:13] Oh, okay.

[1:21:14] Okay.

[1:21:15] Cool.

[1:21:16] That was an anti-climatic way to say it.

[1:21:22] Yeah.

[1:21:24] I'll move on to recommendations.

[1:21:27] Movies that we may have seen of late or, I don't know, whatever, a long time ago.

[1:21:33] I don't care.

[1:21:34] The Statue of Limitations, yeah.

[1:21:36] Yeah.

[1:21:37] That we've enjoyed.

[1:21:38] Oh, we've enjoyed.

[1:21:39] Oh, okay.

[1:21:40] Wait, I got to rethink mine.

[1:21:42] I saw a movie recently.

[1:21:44] It was a Weird Wednesday presentation at Alamo, which I have returned to now that they have

[1:21:52] fixed their labor problems.

[1:21:54] They have allowed the union to be-

[1:21:59] So correctors, stay away.

[1:22:01] Yeah.

[1:22:02] Well, I just-

[1:22:03] Allow the union.

[1:22:04] They bent to the will of the union.

[1:22:05] They bent to the will of the union.

[1:22:06] Recognize the power of organized labor, Daniel.

[1:22:07] Yes.

[1:22:08] We've gotten so political today.

[1:22:09] This is good stuff.

[1:22:10] I know.

[1:22:11] Yeah, yeah.

[1:22:12] We're heating up.

[1:22:13] People love this.

[1:22:14] Do they?

[1:22:15] I watched a movie called Wicked Wicked from 1973, which was-

[1:22:20] You watched the movie Wicked twice in a row, Dan?

[1:22:22] Yeah.

[1:22:23] Just admit that's what it was, yeah?

[1:22:24] It was filmed in what the movie calls duo vision, which means that it is in split screen

[1:22:31] almost the entire movie.

[1:22:32] There are a couple of emphasis moments where they switch to one shot, although it seems

[1:22:38] kind of arbitrary when they decide what is important enough.

[1:22:44] And it is a wild movie.

[1:22:47] I'm not going to say I think it's great on its own.

[1:22:52] It is just extremely entertaining because they decided to use this gimmick, but they

[1:22:57] didn't really think about why they were using this gimmick or how this gimmick would be

[1:23:02] used in a movie like Time Code, where it's split into four quadrants on the screen.

[1:23:10] It's all happening in real time, and sometimes the things cross over one another.

[1:23:14] And so you get a sense of coherency to it.

[1:23:18] Whereas here, sometimes one of the screens will be a flashback.

[1:23:23] Sometimes both of them will be a flashback.

[1:23:25] Sometimes one of them will be someone telling a story, and you'll see how it really happened

[1:23:28] in the other screen.

[1:23:30] Sometimes things are happening nearby, but you don't really have a sense of the geography,

[1:23:34] so it doesn't increase the tension or anything.

[1:23:37] It just is more confusing.

[1:23:40] Sometimes two people will be in the same room, and two halves of the conversation will just

[1:23:43] be on different screens.

[1:23:48] It's a weird movie.

[1:23:50] They do a cutaway flashback that almost feels like a Family Guy gag at one point, where

[1:23:55] they're just like, this isn't the first time you made a mistake, and then you just flash

[1:23:59] back to this shooting that happened, and then right back to the movie.

[1:24:06] It's like a killer thriller, but it's not filled with thrills.

[1:24:11] It's just strange.

[1:24:12] It's a strange thing to watch.

[1:24:14] A lot of the time, it seems like they didn't realize that making a movie with two concurrent

[1:24:21] screens going at the same time would mean they would have to shoot a lot more movies.

[1:24:27] A lot of the time, something utterly boring is happening in one of the sides, which is

[1:24:31] good because it directs your attention where it needs to be, but the gimmick is not enhancing

[1:24:36] it at that point.

[1:24:39] It's kind of a fascinating thing, so Wicked Wicked from 1973.

[1:24:42] Dan, I'd never heard of this movie, and I just want to tell you, I'm looking at the

[1:24:45] information on Wikipedia, and it talks about how one of the big challenges in making the

[1:24:50] movie was he decided to write the script so that the script pages were divided down the

[1:24:55] middle, and you would have it split up the way it is, and it says on Wikipedia, finding

[1:25:02] a typewriter that could accommodate these unique needs proved challenging for the writer.

[1:25:07] From step one, it was difficult to make this movie.

[1:25:10] Just finding the right typewriter was hard.

[1:25:13] That typewriter did not exist, because it would be dumb.

[1:25:17] And it's not like a Mission Impossible thing where they're like, okay, fuck it, we have

[1:25:20] to invent this special typewriter.

[1:25:23] Yeah, my recommendation, I don't think is going to catch anyone by surprise, but I recently

[1:25:30] saw the movie Weapons, the follow-up to Barbarian from the same writer-director, Zach Krieger.

[1:25:39] You seem pretty confident about how to say Samwise Gamgee, and now suddenly the shoe

[1:25:42] is on the other foot.

[1:25:43] Yeah, I mean, I'm much better at Lord of the Rings stuff than real-life stuff, Elliot.

[1:25:49] Look at my life.

[1:25:53] So this is a horror movie.

[1:25:55] One of the things that I will give this movie extra credit for, bonus points, is that the

[1:26:00] trailer gives you very little information.

[1:26:03] It gives you just kind of the initial setup, and then gives you hints of the chaos to come.

[1:26:08] This is a horror movie that, in some ways, to me, like Barbarian, isn't really about

[1:26:12] anything, but is a wild, exciting horror movie ride.

[1:26:16] It's very gross at times, it has some great scares, and it has situations that I feel

[1:26:21] like I haven't seen before.

[1:26:23] I think it's really fun, it has some great performances, I really enjoyed it.

[1:26:28] So Weapons.

[1:26:29] I'm going to recommend a movie that, I don't know if enjoyed is quite the right word, but

[1:26:36] I found a lot in that, I found meaningful, but also strange, but also just interesting.

[1:26:43] And that is David Cronenberg's most recent movie, The Shrouds, which is a, David Cronenberg

[1:26:50] is one of these directors who, as he has gotten older, his movies have stripped away the idea

[1:26:55] of sensationalism or thrill, in a way that I find really fascinating and interesting,

[1:27:02] where he is presenting a very strange story about a man whose grief for his wife was so

[1:27:08] overwhelming that he invented a shroud that a dead body can wear underground that provides

[1:27:15] a real-time 3D video image of it, so you can watch your loved ones rotting, and never lose

[1:27:21] sight of them.

[1:27:23] And this somehow gets him wrapped up into a conspiracy involving potentially the surveillance

[1:27:29] state, potentially the Chinese government, potentially different environmental terror

[1:27:35] activists, and also his own relationship with his wife's body and his sexual interest in that,

[1:27:46] and his inability to let it go.

[1:27:48] And there's a lot of very Cronenberg feelings and thoughts floating around in it, and it never

[1:27:55] fully comes together, particularly, this was, this is a very Mulholland Drive-type movie,

[1:28:00] where apparently, like Mulholland Drive, it was started as an idea for a television series,

[1:28:04] and then was completed as a movie when it was not made as a television series.

[1:28:09] But it's a really fascinating kind of late period...

[1:28:11] It was gonna be like an office-style sitcom, right?

[1:28:14] Exactly, yeah. It's a, yeah, set at the cemetery, where they watch people rotting on little screens.

[1:28:20] It's a really fascinating late-period David Cronenberg movie, and it feels very personal,

[1:28:23] and like a lot of Cronenberg stuff, like, there are things that are not especially pleasant

[1:28:30] that you see, or that happen in it.

[1:28:31] It is a movie that plays with taboo stuff, but I thought, I found a lot in it that I found really

[1:28:39] meaningful and interesting, even though when it, I have to admit, when it ended, I was like,

[1:28:43] oh, it ended! I didn't, like, the ending is fairly abrupt, and I was like, the movie's over!

[1:28:48] But I would recommend it if you are a Cronenberg fan, and you're seeing where he is now.

[1:28:52] I've been mean to get to it, and I just haven't gotten around to it. Have you seen it yet, Dan?

[1:28:55] No.

[1:28:56] Yeah, it was such a, it had such, like, a brief theatrical run.

[1:29:00] It does not surprise me that it didn't make a big splash, not just because the subject matter is,

[1:29:05] I think a lot of people would find distasteful, but also because it's so calm for most of the

[1:29:12] movie. Like, even when the character's in trouble, or there's kind of, like, rough emotional stuff

[1:29:18] happening, it's presented in a very calm, kind of very even-keeled way, and so it does not deliver

[1:29:23] thrills, like I'm saying. It doesn't deliver, it's not like The Fly or Scanners or something,

[1:29:27] where you're like, oh shit, that guy's head exploded! You know, it's a, it's a very much

[1:29:31] a mature late period Cronenberg, but I think it's worth watching if you like his stuff.

[1:29:34] It doesn't cut to a guy barfing because somebody's head exploded.

[1:29:37] No, it doesn't, no. He doesn't fall for the Sopranos episode.

[1:29:41] Yeah, it seems like a movie that might confuse non-Cronenberg heads, perhaps. Like, I,

[1:29:47] what I associate with it so far, I want to see it, is I ran into Griffin Newman at Nighthawk

[1:29:54] after he had just seen it, and he was very positive about it, but said that, like,

[1:29:58] there's like a large group of them.

[1:30:00] in the theater laughing and being asses about watching it.

[1:30:05] Laughing at how dumb it was or something?

[1:30:07] Thinking of it as bad or something,

[1:30:09] when I assume it's just a lot of Cronenberg weirdness.

[1:30:14] Well, I think there's a lot of stuff in it that is,

[1:30:16] the way that, so War of the Worlds is the one

[1:30:18] we watched today, is dumb and stupid

[1:30:20] in a way that I think is not intentional.

[1:30:22] I think they thought they were making

[1:30:23] kind of a slapdash movie, but they weren't like,

[1:30:26] let's make a dumb movie, it wasn't a choice.

[1:30:28] Whereas this one, like I said, it's a little slow.

[1:30:30] Everything is very underplayed in a way

[1:30:32] that could be hilarious if it was not intentional,

[1:30:35] but it feels intentional.

[1:30:36] And so I think it's the difference between

[1:30:38] when something is meant to be weird or strange

[1:30:42] and when it's not meant to be.

[1:30:44] And if you don't know Cronenberg,

[1:30:45] then I could see mistaking that.

[1:30:47] Guy Pearce is in it as maybe the least handsome

[1:30:50] he's ever been in a movie, and he's playing

[1:30:52] this weird character who says some strange things.

[1:30:54] And if I was like, if I didn't trust the guy

[1:31:01] making the movie, I might be like,

[1:31:02] this is a weird performance.

[1:31:03] I'm not sure that this performance makes any sense at all.

[1:31:06] But because going into it, I'm already

[1:31:08] in a Cronenberg state of mind, I could be into it.

[1:31:11] ♪ I'm in a Cronenberg state of mind. ♪

[1:31:14] ♪ See a guy become a fly down in Hollywood. ♪

[1:31:18] Okay, well, three, I assume, great recommendations.

[1:31:24] And now, the moment you've all been waiting for

[1:31:27] at the end of the podcast, where I say,

[1:31:30] if you like this, check out Maximum Fun,

[1:31:33] our network over at maximumfun.org.

[1:31:36] We can only exist thanks to the support of Maximum Fun

[1:31:40] members, and it helps to check out

[1:31:45] some of the other shows too.

[1:31:47] And thank you to Alex Smith, our producer.

[1:31:50] He goes by the name HowlDotty all over the internet.

[1:31:54] I've lately been enjoying his podcast,

[1:31:57] Big Howl and Possum, which is a show about him

[1:32:02] playing sort of a backwoods character

[1:32:04] whose best friend is a giant possum,

[1:32:06] and they just kind of talk about nonsense.

[1:32:10] And it works way better as a podcast

[1:32:14] than you might imagine from that sort of sketched out,

[1:32:17] very simple idea.

[1:32:19] I laugh a lot at it.

[1:32:20] So check that out as well.

[1:32:23] For the Flop House, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:32:25] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:32:27] And I continue to be Elliot Kalin,

[1:32:28] as I was at the beginning, so I am at the end,

[1:32:31] forever and ever, amen.

[1:32:34] See ya.

[1:32:35] Ha ha ha ha ha.

[1:32:36] Ha ha ha ha ha.

[1:32:44] I'm looking for my notes, there they are.

[1:32:47] Are you doing the summary this time, Dan?

[1:32:49] I was on the sheet, I believe, right?

[1:32:52] That doesn't quite answer the question, but I like it.

[1:32:55] It did answer it in the most passive, aggressive way.

[1:32:56] Well, I said that I have notes.

[1:32:58] I feel like from context clues, it all fits together.

[1:33:01] You're right, I'm the asshole.

[1:33:03] Yeah, exactly.

[1:33:03] I didn't say anyone was an asshole,

[1:33:05] I said it like pretty clear.

[1:33:07] Let's roll back the tape.

[1:33:08] From the totality of what was said, but anyway.

[1:33:14] You remind me of the kids in the Ozu movie

[1:33:17] where they're like, adults have too much small talk.

[1:33:19] It's a waste of time, who cares?

[1:33:21] Dan, this is the kind of little stuff

[1:33:23] that lubricates the conversation,

[1:33:25] lubricates social interaction.

[1:33:26] No, I understand.

[1:33:27] It's the spice, you know, it's the good stuff.

[1:33:28] That is, look, I have gotten better at small talk,

[1:33:32] is the thing.

[1:33:33] I used to not understand it at all.

[1:33:35] No, you're still big, it's just the talk got small.

[1:33:38] Why is this?

[1:33:39] And then I was like, oh wait,

[1:33:43] this is a trait of neurodivergent people.

[1:33:45] We don't understand the efficacy or need

[1:33:48] for non-functional talk, but I get it.

[1:33:53] We're lubricating our friendship joints.

[1:33:57] Maximum fun.

[1:33:59] A worker-owned network.

[1:34:00] Of artist-owned shows.

[1:34:02] Supported.

[1:34:02] Directly.

[1:34:03] By you.

Ep.#459 - War of the Worlds (2025)

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