FH Mini #19: Miseed That Movie! - Brainstorm

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] Hey, floppers, it's that time again, the witching hour, and you know what that means.

[0:09] Another Flophouse mini episode, or mini-sode, or mini-soda, if you think this is a soda.

[0:17] It's not, though.

[0:17] It's a podcast.

[0:18] I'm your host for this evening, Elliot Kalin, and joining me are two handsome hunks of the

[0:24] heart waves, and they'll name their own names right now.

[0:28] What are your names, dudes?

Stuart Wellington

[0:29] Uh, I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:32] I'm a handsome heart wave, Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:35] Hey, you guys look a little uncomfortable.

[0:37] Why don't you take those shirts off and stay a while?

Stuart Wellington

[0:39] Okay, let me just peel the shirt off.

[0:42] Wait, you got stuck in all my chest hair?

Dan McCoy

[0:45] Okay.

[0:46] You asked whether you should just totally drive this one, and like, just from the start, just

[0:51] kick it off, and we're like, yeah, we trust you.

[0:53] And then immediately you got creepier than I ever saw you before on the show.

Elliott Kalan

[0:57] I'm really going for a, uh, the same feel as those Calvin Klein commercials they pulled

[1:01] off the air years ago, where they were interviewing shirtless models next to ladders in basements.

[1:05] Yeah.

[1:06] Do you remember those?

[1:07] No, I do.

[1:07] They were gross.

[1:08] They were upsetting.

[1:09] They were really gross and creepy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10] And you're like, why do you have so many ladders in the basement?

[1:12] Like, it's not, how tall is that basement going to be?

[1:14] Well, they're painting the ceiling.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15] They're in a huge basement.

[1:16] They are painting the ceiling.

[1:17] It's Michelangelo's basement.

[1:19] He's always painting the ceiling.

[1:20] Uh-huh.

[1:20] Painting it with nunchucks.

Dan McCoy

[1:22] Now, normally, you know.

[1:25] Painting it with the blood of his enemies.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29] Guys, on the Flophouse, normally, as our regular listeners know, and if you're not a regular

[1:33] listener, this may not be the best episode to start with, or maybe it will be.

[1:36] Let's find out.

[1:36] We usually watch a bad movie, all three of us, and then we talk about it, and then we

[1:41] do a lot of other stuff, too.

[1:42] Today, however, it's a mini-episode.

[1:45] That means we didn't all watch a movie, but I watched a movie.

[1:48] That's right.

[1:49] It's another installment of our irregular mini-episode series, Missed That Movie.

[1:54] Missed That Movie!

[1:59] Okay.

[2:00] Thank you.

[2:01] That's cool, right?

[2:02] That worked out pretty well, right?

[2:03] No, that was great.

[2:04] That's Stuart's new character, Far Away Guy.

[2:08] Hey, Far Away Guy, how's it going?

Stuart Wellington

[2:11] Pretty good!

Dan McCoy

[2:14] It's not only Far Away, he's like falling off a cliff or something.

[2:17] There's a Doppler effect going on.

Elliott Kalan

[2:19] Yeah, he had to step pretty far back to get far away, and he fell off the cliff.

[2:22] Yeah.

[2:24] So, in Missed That Movie, one of us has watched a movie, and we describe it to the other ones,

[2:28] and they tell us whether they wish we had covered the movie or if they watched it or not.

[2:33] And so, I watched a movie, and I'm going to tell you guys about it.

[2:36] Are you guys ready?

[2:37] Strap in, boys.

[2:38] Get ready.

[2:39] Okay.

[2:39] Buckle up.

[2:40] Am I being creepy enough?

[2:42] Almost.

[2:45] Almost.

[2:45] So, I should get creepier.

[2:47] Okay.

[2:48] Oil up, boys.

[2:49] Let's dive into this one.

[2:50] You did it.

[2:51] You got there.

[2:52] You did it.

[2:52] Okay.

[2:53] So, the movie that I watched, I want to tell you about, is the film Brainstorm from 1983,

[2:59] starring Christopher Walken, Natalie Wood in her final film role.

[3:02] She actually died during the production of the movie.

[3:04] Louise Fletcher and Cliff Robertson.

[3:07] So, it is a star-studded cast.

[3:10] That's three Oscar winners, one Oscar nominee in this film directed by Douglas Trumbull,

[3:15] best known as a special effects master, and also directed the movie Silent Running.

[3:20] So, Brainstorm.

[3:21] Not to be confused with the movie Brainscan from 1994, starring Eddie Furlong and Frank Langella.

[3:28] So, sorry guys, we're not talking about Brainscan tonight.

[3:32] We're talking about Brainstorm.

[3:34] Are you okay with that?

Dan McCoy

[3:36] I mean, let's see.

[3:38] We're talking about Brainstorm.

[3:39] I mean, a storm sounds more exciting than a scan.

[3:42] Yes, you would.

[3:43] So, yeah, I'm cool with it.

Elliott Kalan

[3:43] I mean, you'd be wrong.

[3:44] It's not a very exciting movie, but in, yeah, you'd think a storm would be more exciting than

[3:48] a scan.

[3:48] Now, would you guys rather have your brain stormed, though, or would you have your brain scanned?

Dan McCoy

[3:54] Well, okay, who's storming it?

Elliott Kalan

[3:56] Storm and Norman Schwarzkopf.

Dan McCoy

[3:58] The hero of the Persian Gulf War.

[4:00] I'll have to go with scans.

Elliott Kalan

[4:01] Okay, well, but the scanning is being done by the scanners, so they're going to make your

[4:06] head explode.

[4:07] Oh, no.

[4:08] I mean, I really should have asked.

Dan McCoy

[4:09] Might as well.

Stuart Wellington

[4:10] Yeah, it's a real Hobbesy's choice.

Elliott Kalan

[4:12] You're going to end up with a bruised brain either way.

Stuart Wellington

[4:14] I feel bad for all the Normans out there who are never storming.

[4:19] Yeah.

[4:20] I mean, what other nickname do they get?

Dan McCoy

[4:22] You know, like.

[4:22] I've got a pill that could help them with that.

Stuart Wellington

[4:25] Yeah, like Glorman?

[4:26] Glorman.

[4:27] Glorman.

[4:27] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[4:27] Possibly, yeah.

[4:28] Or Chorman.

[4:29] Like they do all the chores.

[4:31] Or the Chorman.

Elliott Kalan

[4:32] Long Chorman.

[4:33] Yeah, no, you're right.

[4:34] Poor man.

[4:35] Poor man Norman.

[4:36] I mean, if he's poor, you're just kicking him when he's down.

[4:38] If he's rich, it's an ironic nickname, like when you call Big Guy Tiny or a Bald Guy Curly.

Dan McCoy

[4:44] Yeah.

[4:44] Corman Norman.

[4:45] Just a guy who likes Roger Corman movies.

[4:47] Or Norman Corman.

Elliott Kalan

[4:48] Who could just be Roger Corman's brother.

[4:50] Who knows?

[4:51] Norman Corman.

Stuart Wellington

[4:51] Or guys, I got you.

[4:53] It's like when you have a really stiff guy, but you call him Stretch.

[4:57] What?

[4:58] A really stiff guy?

[4:59] Stiff guy?

Elliott Kalan

[5:00] I don't understand.

[5:02] Who's the stiff guy?

Dan McCoy

[5:03] See, Dan likes it.

[5:04] I don't really rate my friends by how flexible they are.

[5:08] I told a joke.

[5:09] Why aren't you laughing?

Stuart Wellington

[5:11] Well, I am laughing, Stuart, but in a different way than normal.

[5:14] No, Dan's doing a good job.

[5:16] Elliot's not helping me out here.

Elliott Kalan

[5:18] No, I just, I, I, sorry, I got, I got, I got distracted looking up Norman Corwin to

[5:23] see if there was a joke about him to be made, and there was not.

[5:26] So, yeah, yeah, no.

[5:27] What about Norman the Dorman?

[5:28] Call the stiff guy Stretch.

[5:29] Yeah, because he's stretching it all out real stiff.

[5:31] Okay, guys, so have you ever seen the movie Brainstorm from 1983?

[5:35] No.

[5:36] Okay, well, let me give you a little taste of what we're in for.

[5:38] Let me read you the tagline on the poster.

Stuart Wellington

[5:41] Wait, is this the one with Eddie Furlong in it?

Elliott Kalan

[5:44] Nope, nope, incorrect.

[5:45] That's Brain Scan.

[5:46] Easy mistake to make.

[5:47] This is about storming of brains and not scanning of brains.

[5:51] In Brain Scan, which I have not seen, I have to assume Eddie Furlong is an MRI technician

[5:55] who is just making sure people's brains are scanning good.

[5:59] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[5:59] He plays a video game where a character named Trickster shows up and then swallows his head

[6:04] at one point.

[6:04] It's really great.

Elliott Kalan

[6:05] Wait, he plays a video game in the movie, so his character is a video game?

Stuart Wellington

[6:09] Well, in a way, yes.

[6:12] For parts of the movie, yes, you're actually right.

Elliott Kalan

[6:15] So is this finally that adaptation of Toe Jam and Earl that I've been waiting for for so

[6:19] long?

Stuart Wellington

[6:20] It's not unlike Toe Jam and Earl.

[6:23] They both have attitude.

[6:25] They both have names that I guess don't completely make sense in context of the narrative.

[6:34] Yeah.

[6:34] Dan, I'm going to need some help.

[6:35] I've got to bounce past this one.

[6:37] I haven't seen this.

Dan McCoy

[6:38] I can't help you.

Elliott Kalan

[6:39] I have another question for Stuart.

[6:40] You don't see a brain scan?

[6:41] No.

[6:41] Now, Stuart, I've never seen the movie Me and Earl and the Dying Girl.

[6:45] Is that about Toe Jam and Earl and the Dying Girl?

[6:47] Uh-huh.

[6:48] Yep.

[6:48] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[6:49] The Me is Toe Jam, yes.

Elliott Kalan

[6:51] Yes, that's what I'm implying, Daniel.

[6:53] Thank you.

Stuart Wellington

[6:53] The weird thing is the Dying Girl is the girl with the pearl earring, which you never would

[6:57] have expected.

Elliott Kalan

[6:58] So it's really Toe Jam and Earl and the Dying Girl with the pearl earring on a train.

[7:04] Okay, so here's the tagline on the poster for Brainstorm.

[7:07] The door to the mind is open.

[7:09] Imagine a machine that records sights, sounds, sensations, thoughts, feelings, emotions, even

[7:15] your dreams and nightmares, then at the touch of a button, transfers these personal experiences

[7:20] from one mind to another.

[7:22] Not done with the tagline.

[7:24] Any person, any experience, anything you can imagine.

[7:28] And then the tagline concludes, Brainstorm, the ultimate experience.

[7:31] Now, that's a lot of text for a poster, right?

Dan McCoy

[7:34] Yeah.

[7:34] I mean, it seems like that last part in and of itself would just be a tagline that you

[7:40] could use.

Elliott Kalan

[7:41] The ultimate experience?

[7:42] No, but they had to explain what a brainstorm was.

Stuart Wellington

[7:44] It seems like it's walking the razor's edge between poster and novella.

Elliott Kalan

[7:49] Yeah, it really, it feels like it is the text from the back of the paperback of Brainstorm.

Dan McCoy

[7:54] I mean, do you think that they were afraid that people would think that it was the creativity

[8:00] exercise brainstorming?

Elliott Kalan

[8:03] I think they were afraid people would think it was the movie Brainscan, which wouldn't

[8:06] come out for 11 more years.

[8:08] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[8:09] Oh, well, that's, I mean, that's foresight at least.

[8:11] Now.

[8:12] Yeah.

[8:13] I got a little bit of a side tangent, but when we, when I was growing up, I was super

[8:17] into superhero characters, right?

[8:19] Superheroes like Superman.

[8:20] I'm not familiar with them.

[8:21] Et cetera.

[8:22] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[8:22] Stan, it's a niche thing.

[8:24] Nobody knows about them.

Stuart Wellington

[8:25] So I, I bought myself a little notebook and I was also, I was also, I got to go on a

[8:30] side side tangent.

Elliott Kalan

[8:31] I was also really into, tell us about the brand of notebooks too.

Stuart Wellington

[8:35] Is that what you're going to talk to us about?

[8:36] I was also really into Marvel cards because they had like, you know, like they had a picture

[8:41] on the front and then the back had like a little bit of, a little bit of bio and then

[8:45] like power levels.

[8:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[8:47] Like your typical trading card.

Elliott Kalan

[8:49] Yeah.

[8:49] It's how I, it's how I got into, it's how I got into comics.

[8:52] It was Marvel Universe series two, the best comic book card set ever.

[8:57] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[8:57] And how I got to college was by being Anthony Edwards.

[9:00] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[9:01] So, so I, uh, I created my own like universe of heroes and villains in this, uh, in this

[9:09] notebook that I was filling out and they were, it was in the style of those Marvel, Marvel

[9:14] cards and the, like the, the, the first hero, the hero that was like my Superman character

[9:20] was a character named Brainstorm, who's basically Superman, but hadn't exposed brain in a jar.

Elliott Kalan

[9:27] Oh, okay.

[9:27] That's pretty cool.

[9:28] I mean, DC has three different characters named Brainstorm, uh, but I bet you could still

[9:32] use that name.

Stuart Wellington

[9:33] I mean.

[9:34] But Stuart.

[9:34] I don't have to go back in time, like, I don't have to go back in time and make myself not

[9:39] create that original character Brainstorm, right?

Elliott Kalan

[9:42] Unfortunately, yes.

[9:43] You're being sued by Warner Brothers right now.

Stuart Wellington

[9:46] Okay.

[9:47] Uh, does that also include Dot or just Wacko and Yakko?

Elliott Kalan

[9:52] Just the Brothers.

[9:53] Dot is, is sitting on the sidelines for this one.

[9:56] Okay.

[9:57] Well, it's just, it's just Yakko and Wacko.

[9:59] I mean, ultimately.

Dan McCoy

[10:00] I just wanted to point out though, Stuart, that you, now you're playing, uh, like a, a, a

[10:05] brain man in a jar.

[10:07] Oh.

[10:07] In a movie.

[10:08] In a movie.

[10:08] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[10:08] I played two man in a movie.

Dan McCoy

[10:09] So your childhood dreams have come true.

Stuart Wellington

[10:11] Yeah, it's weird.

[10:12] It's weird.

[10:12] It's almost like I told this whole tangent within a tangent story as a means to promote

[10:18] my, my starring movie.

[10:20] Well, not starring, but movie role as tube man in the movie Psycho Goreman.

[10:25] That should be coming on VOD, uh, and Shudder in the not too distant future.

Elliott Kalan

[10:30] Uh, and also we're all brains and jars being fed stimuli that leads us to believe that we

[10:34] are physical beings.

[10:35] So there's that too.

[10:36] Okay.

[10:37] Brainstorm.

[10:37] Let's talk about it guys.

[10:38] So the opening credits are real, like kind of nineties PC game style floating graphics.

[10:43] It looks like the computers and hackers vomited all over the screen.

[10:47] And we're introduced to our two main scientists, Christopher Walken and Louise Fletcher.

[10:51] Louise Fletcher's main character trait is she is tough and also constantly smoking.

[10:55] I think in the first four minutes of the movie, she lights three separate cigarettes in one

[10:59] scene.

[11:00] Uh, they are scientists.

[11:01] They're making kind of a cerebro type brain helmet that can trans telepathically transmit

[11:06] sensations to someone else wearing another helmet and can also record those sensations on a

[11:12] huge reel of reel to reel digital, uh, like magnetized tape.

[11:18] The technology in this is super eighties.

[11:20] It's really fantastic.

[11:22] Everything is as analog as possible.

[11:24] And there's just like huge clunky machines everywhere.

[11:27] Lots of old video screens and like computers where when you want to press a keyboard button,

[11:31] you got to press real hard and it makes a big like thunk sound.

[11:34] It's really fantastic.

[11:36] Uh, they transmit a lot of different sensations using their test subject,

[11:40] subject Gordy, who is the joker of the group.

[11:43] He's constantly just flirting and joking.

[11:45] No, not Gordy Howe.

[11:46] Hockey great Gordy Howe.

[11:47] Just a guy named Gordy.

[11:48] And he, he eats a steak.

[11:49] Not the big Gordy?

[11:50] Not, no.

[11:52] He eats a steak covered with marshmallows.

[11:54] And, uh, he briefly puts the helmet on an angry chimp so that Christopher Walken knows what it feels like to be an angry chimp.

[12:01] Uh, he's like, they have him riding horses, riding go-karts.

[12:04] He's with some babes at a water park.

[12:06] And he's transmitting all these sensations to Christopher Walken.

[12:10] Now, obviously, you can just imagine the, uh, the, the amazing applications of being able to transmit sensations to another person, right?

[12:18] Guys, just name them.

[12:19] Just name some of these amazing applications.

Stuart Wellington

[12:20] Well, you could send somebody to a water park with babes.

[12:23] You could have them drive a race car.

Elliott Kalan

[12:27] You could have them.

[12:28] I mean, but those are all things people can do already.

Stuart Wellington

[12:30] Oh, right.

[12:31] Um.

Elliott Kalan

[12:31] Like, how, how would, how would being able to send those sensations to somebody over a helmet and record them on tape?

[12:36] How is that profitable?

[12:37] I guess I would say.

Stuart Wellington

[12:38] I mean, that's basically the plot of Strange Days, right?

[12:42] Like.

[12:42] If people are recording their memories.

[12:44] Yeah.

[12:44] And other people get to enjoy that shit.

Dan McCoy

[12:46] Mm-hmm.

[12:46] That's true, I guess.

[12:47] You know, it's a way to be inside someone else's mind.

[12:48] You could, one person could watch the movie Gordy about the pig and broadcast it to other people.

[12:55] Yeah.

[12:56] So they could also see Gordy.

[12:58] Oh, so Dan, you've seen Brain Scan.

Elliott Kalan

[13:00] You've seen Brainstorm.

[13:01] Yeah.

[13:01] Because that's what happens.

[13:02] That's what happens later in Brainstorm.

[13:03] It becomes about the, who owns the copyright to Gordy the pig movie?

[13:07] Because can you copyright the sensation of seeing a film?

[13:10] That's the question that they ask.

Dan McCoy

[13:11] Here's the thing.

[13:12] Sorry, I got hung up on Gordy because I was remembering there was like a questions from the movie Answer Man back when Roger Ebert was alive where someone wrote in and they're like, did you actually write like on the VHS

[13:25] cover of Gordy?

[13:26] It says kids will squeal over Gordy?

[13:29] And he's like, good eye.

[13:31] I gave Gordy a bad review.

[13:32] That was a headline that my editor wrote for me.

Elliott Kalan

[13:37] Anyway, so looking at the, at the poster, the theatrical release poster for Gordy, the quote they have actually there is four stars, roll over Beethoven, see a Simba.

[13:45] This is the year of the pig.

[13:47] Wow.

[13:48] That's pretty big talk.

[13:50] Yes.

[13:50] For a movie about a pig wearing sunglasses.

Stuart Wellington

[13:52] I think the quote that they decided not to use was, Scar couldn't kill Simba, but Gordy could.

Elliott Kalan

[14:01] So Christopher Walken and Louise Fletcher, they made a breakthrough.

[14:05] Walken wants to celebrate.

[14:06] He rides home on his ridiculously futurey recumbent bike to his future house where he has a son and his ex-wife, Natalie Wood.

[14:14] She also works at the same company.

[14:16] She's going to work at turning this helmet that they've just invented into a product that can be on Christmas store shelves in the near future.

[14:23] And also at this house, I should mention, Christopher Walken has achieved every kid's dream.

[14:27] He has a refrigerator in his bedroom and it is stocked with soda.

[14:30] What?

[14:31] He is living the dream.

Stuart Wellington

[14:33] I feel like every kid's dream is getting a soda gun from a bar in their home so they could just get soda on demand.

Elliott Kalan

[14:41] Oh, yeah.

[14:42] Just squirt it right in their mouth.

[14:43] They don't even have to measure it.

[14:45] It's just like bulk barn, just scoop as much as you want at any moment type stuff.

Stuart Wellington

[14:50] And you can be like, no, no, no, no, no.

[14:52] You can put ice in it.

[14:54] Don't worry.

[14:55] You can have as much soda as you want.

[14:56] The ice isn't blocking your soda quantities.

Elliott Kalan

[14:59] No, that's how they get you is what my dad would say.

[15:02] Anyway, everyone in this movie, I should mention, is really sedate all the time.

[15:06] Like really just kind of, they all seem like they're on some kind of tranquilizer.

[15:09] And we see this the most when they present to the board at their company.

[15:14] This amazing invention that allows you to experience exciting things like flying a hang glider right in your own brain.

[15:20] And everybody sitting at the table just looks very pleasantly, just kind of like, huh, okay, sure.

[15:27] All right.

[15:28] They're literally there.

[15:30] At one point, they're in a truck that flies over a cliff and crashes.

[15:33] And they're just like, huh, all right.

[15:35] Okay, yeah.

[15:36] This is a good product.

Dan McCoy

[15:37] I got to be honest.

[15:39] I don't know.

[15:40] I say this now.

[15:42] You know, like, certainly during a pandemic, this product would appeal to me to be able to, you know, jack into the Matrix and experience things out there.

Elliott Kalan

[15:51] Well, no, no.

[15:51] You're not jacking into the Matrix, Dan.

[15:53] You have to get a big reel-to-reel spool of experiences and then play it on the machine.

[15:58] And then that will go to your helmet.

[16:01] So is there pitch that you just like go to?

[16:02] But is there like wetware?

[16:05] No, wetware would be some kind of organic existence type thing.

[16:09] Okay.

[16:10] This is very much hardware running software.

[16:12] The hardware is the helmet.

[16:13] The software is these big reel tapes of experiences.

Stuart Wellington

[16:17] So you don't like carry around like a fleshy controller that like throbs slightly while you push it?

Elliott Kalan

[16:24] No, and you don't have to have a port put into your body to operate it or anything like that.

[16:28] It's just a helmet.

Dan McCoy

[16:29] I'm just saying that, you know, I'm thinking about like say one of these reels is skydiving, right?

[16:36] If I haven't gotten around to skydiving in my regular life, the things that are keeping me from doing skydiving,

[16:43] I'm not necessarily, I don't think, buying one of these reels so I can skydive through this brainstorm.

Stuart Wellington

[16:51] Wait, just because you haven't skydived, you wouldn't want to experience it?

[16:57] Okay.

[16:58] Sure, there's some things out there.

Elliott Kalan

[17:00] Well, Dan, he only does things virtually that he's done in person.

[17:03] That's why he plays Mario Brothers, because he has jumped on turtles to kill them.

[17:07] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[17:08] No, no, I mean, look, I don't know why I went to that one.

[17:11] There are certainly experiences out there that I would never have that I would certainly—

Elliott Kalan

[17:14] Well, Dan, some of them are going to come up here, maybe.

[17:17] Because, for instance, I mean, this is an experience I assume you have had.

[17:20] But for some reason, the preview they're showing to these people ends with a sort of glitzy—ends with you being at a glitzy Hooters where busty ladies have trays of hors d'oeuvres.

[17:28] And they're like, oh, sorry, sorry.

[17:29] We don't know how that got into the reel.

[17:31] But the thing is, the movie is shot in one aspect ratio.

[17:35] And then for these scenes, it's a much wider aspect ratio.

[17:38] And the whole part of it is like, oh, so they invented IMAX, I guess.

[17:41] Like, it's just IMAX, but it's on a helmet.

[17:43] I should mention that Christopher—so the company loves it.

[17:46] Unfortunately, they want to get the military involved.

[17:49] And Louise Fletcher does not like that idea.

[17:51] She says no, but a government scientist gets added to the team.

[17:54] Because, of course, the military can now put helmets on soldiers and have them record, I guess, what it's like to shoot people and be shot.

[18:03] I don't know what—again, I don't know what sensations are helpful for the military in recording.

[18:08] But maybe we'll find out later.

[18:10] Christopher Walken, he just wants success.

[18:12] He doesn't care how it happens.

[18:13] And he and Louise Fletcher have this weird relationship where they're coworkers.

[18:17] And it's not quite clear if they are in a relationship or not.

[18:20] Walken is always kind of touching her and very kissy with her.

[18:24] And at one point, because they disagree on the direction of the project, she runs into the ladies' room.

[18:29] And he runs in after her and is just screaming at her in this, like, futuristic 80s ladies' room.

[18:34] And she has some kind of panic attack or maybe a cardiac event.

[18:38] It's not quite clear yet.

[18:40] But here's, Dan, why you're going to buy this helmet.

[18:43] Because what is the real use of a helmet where you can record sensations and then play them back in the comfort of your own home?

[18:50] I'm sure you've guessed it by now.

[18:51] Sex stuff.

[18:51] Yes, exactly.

[18:53] Because Gordy talks one of the—

[18:54] I got it right, Stuart.

[18:55] You got it right on the first try.

[18:56] Oh, wow.

[18:57] Okay.

[18:57] And it does wonders for your reputation.

[18:59] So what's Dan's prize?

Elliott Kalan

[18:59] Does he get one of these fucking helmets?

[19:01] Yeah.

[19:01] He gets to—I guess so.

[19:04] Yeah, Dan's prize is he gets one of these helmets when they're invented.

[19:07] Gordy, that lovable scamp, has recorded himself having sex with one of the lab technicians.

[19:12] And we almost get a scene where Christopher Walken's 12-year-old son accidentally puts the headset on when that reel is playing.

[19:19] This isn't that kind of movie.

[19:21] So that's—if this was a crasser movie—

[19:23] Yeah, it's not like Squid and the Whale or something.

[19:26] No, no.

[19:26] But instead—

[19:27] Like the squid or the whale.

[19:29] So what version of Squid and the Whale has a scene like that?

[19:31] That's your mark of a crass movie.

Stuart Wellington

[19:32] I thought it was the one with the helmet.

[19:34] I mean, he does wipe—

[19:35] The one with the memory helmet.

Dan McCoy

[19:37] He does wipe some semen on some library books and that.

[19:40] But I would not have—yeah, I wouldn't go with that one.

Elliott Kalan

[19:44] So what was—was it a specific book that he was wiping the semen on?

[19:47] Is that what he gets off on?

[19:49] Is that that—he's disrespecting that one book?

[19:51] Like, take this, Mein Kampf, and he just wipes his semen on it?

Dan McCoy

[19:54] I think it's just a general, you know, like, acting out kind of thing going on.

Elliott Kalan

[19:59] I see.

[20:00] No, he—there's none of that in this.

[20:02] There's no helmets in the Squid and the Whale, and there's no on-camera semen in this.

[20:06] Okay.

[20:07] But here's another way—

[20:08] Here's another way to—

[20:10] Plenty of off-camera semen, yeah.

[20:12] Flooded with semen.

[20:13] You've got to—well, just inside the testicles of all the male members of the cast, you have to assume.

Stuart Wellington

[20:17] Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like a building block of all the people in the movie, too, right?

Elliott Kalan

[20:23] I mean, you've got to assume.

[20:24] A building block.

[20:25] I don't—

[20:26] I mean, it was shot in 1982, and yet you couldn't get—

[20:29] Well, you couldn't—hold on.

[20:30] You could not yet create a human life and then raise it to adulthood without in some way using human semen.

[20:36] You've got to assume it was used for everyone on the film, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[20:38] Let's go backwards, though.

[20:39] Take me to—

[20:40] To call it a building—to call it a building block, though, I don't know—I—as a point of semantics and biology, I don't know that, like, you know, the semen obviously fertilizes the egg.

[20:53] We all know the story.

[20:55] The story?

[20:55] We all know the story.

[20:56] You could call it a building block.

Elliott Kalan

[20:57] We all know the tale.

[20:58] We all know the famous love story.

Dan McCoy

[21:00] Like, Stuart's arm isn't made up of a bunch of semen.

[21:04] Uh, what?

[21:08] It's not like—okay.

[21:10] Anyway, let's move on.

[21:12] I don't want to—

Elliott Kalan

[21:12] You know what?

[21:13] As judge of this episode, I'm going to allow—I'm going to allow a building block, uh, even though that that now creates in my mind an image of, like, dried sperm used into—it put in, like, a Lego-type mold.

[21:23] Yeah.

[21:23] And put together into some sort of, uh, licensed, maybe Hogwarts castle set.

[21:29] Uh, okay, yeah.

[21:30] Not going to think about that, but here's another use for it, aside from sex stuff, where Dan's mind instantly went to.

[21:36] Uh, Christopher Walken—

[21:37] That's entrapment.

[21:38] He gets a glimpse of a tape that his ex-wife recorded on it and sees her feelings about him, but also the memories of their marriage, which involve mostly him being a real jerk.

[21:47] He hands a dirty diaper—a kid with a dirty diaper to one point—and at their wedding, there's just—it's the strangest memories.

[21:53] He starts talking about, let's do the twist, in, like, a vampire voice at their wedding.

[21:57] It's very—they're very Christopher Walken-y memories, and he gives her a reel of his memories, which are mostly him kind of explaining the Wright brothers to her at a trip they must have taken to Kitty Hawk.

[22:09] Um, this allows them to have a moment of emotional connection.

[22:12] They have a night of hanging out together, reenacting their wedding, and having sex, and it ends with them back together as a couple and him making fart noises to make her laugh.

[22:21] The most romantic thing that someone can do.

Stuart Wellington

[22:24] I mean, that sounds—I mean, that sounds oddly charming.

[22:26] I'd like to see Christopher Walken do those things.

Jesse Thorn

[22:29] Uh, well, Brainstorm is the movie for you, but watch out.

[22:33] Hey, friends.

[22:33] Jesse here, the founder of Maximum Fun, and I have some really great news to share with you.

[22:38] This year has brought a lot of changes for all of us, and one tradition that we were grateful to be able to hold onto is our annual pin sale to benefit charity.

[22:49] This year, through your generosity and love of pins, you helped raise $95,400 for GiveDirectly.

[22:57] If you're a member and you bought pins, they'll ship in January.

[23:00] In the meantime, your support will provide direct cash relief to families impacted by COVID-19 across the United States.

[23:08] Even in this incredibly tough year, the MaxFun community remains extraordinarily kind.

[23:13] And whether or not you bought pins, you can continue to help by heading to givedirectly.org.

[23:20] And as always, thank you.

Dan McCoy

[23:25] Guys, can we pitch a TV show called Christopher Walken's Memories?

[23:31] Sure, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[23:32] Tell me what it's like.

[23:33] I'm the executive.

[23:35] Now, first, do you have Christopher Walken for this show?

Dan McCoy

[23:38] I haven't nailed him down, per se.

Elliott Kalan

[23:41] I mean, don't do that, because I don't want you to actually nail him to anything.

Dan McCoy

[23:45] Yeah.

[23:46] I assume that he'd be interested in the property once I explain it to him.

[23:52] Okay.

[23:52] You know, it's sort of a masterpiece theater slash masterpiece theater situation.

[23:58] Okay.

[23:59] Where we come across Christopher Walken, you know, in his leather chair, in his library, you know, by the fire.

[24:06] Sure.

[24:06] And he opens a book.

[24:08] The library is on fire?

[24:09] A leather-bound book.

[24:11] A leather-bound...

[24:11] Well, there's a fire in the fireplace.

[24:13] A leather fire.

[24:14] Oh, okay.

[24:15] Yeah, a leather fire.

[24:17] And he opens a leather-bound...

Elliott Kalan

[24:19] That sounds like an indie band, Leather Fire.

[24:21] Yeah.

[24:21] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[24:22] He opens a leather-bound, you know, photo album, and he starts telling us a story of one of his memories,

[24:28] and then we sort of enter the memory.

[24:30] Uh-huh.

[24:31] Okay.

[24:31] Kind of the way that Mario jumps through a painting.

Elliott Kalan

[24:35] Okay, sure.

[24:36] Yeah.

[24:36] Okay.

[24:37] Now, Christopher, so what kind of memories...

[24:39] These would be memories of him and his famous pals making movies together?

[24:44] Yeah, yeah.

[24:45] Or is it like memories of the bakery that his family owned when he was a kid?

Dan McCoy

[24:50] It's mostly him hanging around the set of Weapon of Choice, the Spike Jonze Fatboy Slim video.

[24:58] Just that one shoot.

Elliott Kalan

[24:59] Not any of the other things he made.

[25:00] Just mostly that.

[25:01] Just Weapon of Choice.

[25:02] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[25:02] Well, we have the rights to that right now, and then we're hoping to lock...

[25:06] So you don't have Christopher Walken yet, but you have the rights to Weapon of Choice.

[25:08] We don't have that.

[25:10] Well, I mean, weirdly, Sony owns his memories of that shoot.

[25:15] The rest of it is under, you know, just Christopher Walken himself, but Sony sold those off.

Elliott Kalan

[25:20] So you have Sony on board already?

Dan McCoy

[25:22] Yes.

[25:23] Okay.

[25:23] Sony is on board, of course.

Elliott Kalan

[25:24] I mean, that's huge.

[25:25] You should have mentioned that right away.

[25:26] Right away.

[25:27] Because I don't know you from...

Dan McCoy

[25:28] I don't know why I'm pitching it to you, honestly.

[25:29] I don't know you...

[25:30] Because I've got Sony on board.

Elliott Kalan

[25:31] Yeah, but Sony doesn't have a streaming platform.

[25:33] My name's...

[25:33] Hi.

[25:33] Maybe we need to meet.

[25:34] My name's Billy Netflix.

[25:36] Oh, wow.

Stuart Wellington

[25:38] Yeah.

[25:38] Anyway...

[25:39] Is that any relation to the streaming service?

Elliott Kalan

[25:42] No, actually, I work at Hulu.

[25:44] That's why you're talking to me.

[25:46] It's actually...

[25:46] It's my family.

[25:48] My family...

[25:48] When we first came over from Greece, we were Netflixopolis.

[25:51] It was changed to Ellis Island to Netflix.

[25:53] And it's just a coincidence that I happen to be in the streaming industry.

[25:56] I'm a development executive at Hulu.

[25:57] Oh, yeah.

[25:57] But anyway, so why should Hulu be interested in...

[25:59] I'm going to call it Christopher Peace Theater.

[26:03] What makes you think that this is a show that works on Netflix...

[26:07] Or, sorry, on Hulu.

[26:08] Like, I was thinking of myself.

[26:10] Because let me tell you what Hulu is all about.

[26:12] Hulu is about providing the most incredible syndicated and original programming,

[26:17] and then packaging them in a menu that makes it nearly impossible to find the things that you want to watch.

[26:22] That's the Hulu mission statement.

[26:24] That's our big objective, is we want to tantalize you with the knowledge that there are shows you want to watch,

[26:30] and yet you cannot find them.

Stuart Wellington

[26:31] And my favorite thing is when you find a show that you want to watch,

[26:34] and you are on an episode, and you're like,

[26:37] wait a minute, I want to see a different episode.

[26:39] It's like, well, good luck figuring it out.

Elliott Kalan

[26:42] We don't want you to do that.

[26:43] We want you...

[26:43] And if you finish an episode, we want you to watch that same episode the next time you come on Hulu,

[26:48] just because we know you watched it and enjoyed it.

[26:50] Hulu is all about making you really work for the enjoyment.

[26:54] And we think you're going to like it more, because, for instance, okay,

[26:58] have you guys ever ran a marathon?

[27:02] No.

[27:03] Okay.

[27:03] That's not a good analogy.

[27:04] Dan didn't respond.

Dan McCoy

[27:06] No, I haven't.

[27:08] Okay.

[27:09] Okay.

[27:09] How about this?

[27:09] I ran once.

Elliott Kalan

[27:10] What about skydiving?

[27:11] Have you guys ever skydove?

[27:13] No, I haven't done that.

[27:14] Would you put a helmet on your head that gives you the impressions of skydiving?

[27:18] Actually, I'd be kind of into that.

[27:21] Okay.

[27:21] Well, we don't have that technology, but if we did, we would make it very difficult to access the thing you want to do.

[27:26] In fact, we'd make it difficult for you to find the helmet.

[27:28] We'd probably paint it like invisible paint, so you'd have to stumble around feeling for it.

[27:33] But anyway, so Christopher Walken, you got him for the project?

[27:35] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[27:36] Well, again, we haven't locked down his memories beyond him being on the set of Weapon of Choice,

[27:42] but I think that if we're in negotiations, we could have him being on the set of all kinds of things.

[27:47] We could have his memories from being on the set of Penny's From Heaven.

[27:52] I mean, he's just in one scene, but okay, sure.

[27:54] From being on the set of Catch Me If You Can.

[27:57] Okay.

[27:58] His memories of being on the set for that live production of Peter Pan.

[28:04] Sure, where he was Captain Hook in a chair.

[28:05] Where he just sort of like shuffled around.

Elliott Kalan

[28:08] He was playing the part of Captain Hook with calcium density issues.

[28:14] A lot of people don't know that that's the way he was playing that character.

[28:16] Because where is he going to get enough calcium in Never Never Land?

[28:19] I don't see any cows.

[28:21] There's no milk or cheese.

[28:22] Answer me.

[28:23] Guys.

[28:23] Answer me the question, Dan.

[28:24] Dan, where is Captain Hook getting his milk from?

[28:27] Answer me.

Dan McCoy

[28:29] Maybe he milks that alligator.

[28:33] That's why he's so mad.

[28:34] Go on.

Elliott Kalan

[28:34] I mean, sure, it doesn't make any sense, but maybe Never Never Land alligators are mammals

[28:39] and feed live young milk from their own bodies.

Dan McCoy

[28:42] Hey, speaking of bad streaming interfaces, so I signed up for...

[28:46] Go on.

[28:47] Because we wanted to watch...

Stuart Wellington

[28:48] Because we eventually want to watch the new Bill and Ted movie.

[28:51] Oh, okay.

Dan McCoy

[28:52] Like, I was watching the old ones with some friends and Audrey who hadn't seen it.

[28:57] And we signed up for stars because, like, you could get a free month and...

[29:03] And they spell it in a fun way.

[29:05] Yeah, spell it in a fun way.

[29:06] That Z makes me know that that's a party.

[29:08] But I was using...

Elliott Kalan

[29:09] Even though Z is usually the letter people use to register sleeping.

[29:12] Mm-hmm.

[29:13] Yeah.

[29:13] Interesting.

[29:13] Like a slumber party.

Dan McCoy

[29:14] But I...

[29:15] If you use the Stars app, all...

[29:19] And you go to their movies section, they just have all of their movies in a big...

[29:22] Real quick, Dan.

[29:23] Sorry to interrupt.

Stuart Wellington

[29:24] Sorry.

[29:24] Is movies spelled with a Z at the end?

Dan McCoy

[29:27] These are old-fashioned non-party movies.

[29:32] Or non-sleeping movies.

[29:34] But if you go to the movie section...

Elliott Kalan

[29:36] So they don't have Bachelor Party with Tom Hanks and they don't have Sleep, the Andy Warhol experimental film.

Dan McCoy

[29:41] Right.

[29:43] No, I'm just saying that, like, all of their movies are just sort of dumped in a section.

[29:48] No, like, genre divisions and not alphabetized.

[29:52] You just have to scroll through their...

[29:54] Well, that's cool.

Stuart Wellington

[29:55] Do they have Slumber Party Massacre, which is both a sleeping movie and a party movie?

Dan McCoy

[30:00] I think they cancel each other out, so that's allowed.

Elliott Kalan

[30:03] Okay, yeah, it's a double negative.

[30:04] Dan, you may not realize that Stars' tagline is actually,

[30:08] A big old dump of movies.

[30:12] So, guys, let me tell you about what happens in this movie.

[30:14] Okay, sorry.

[30:14] So, the Army wants to use it for obvious reasons, but its best applications are for sex.

[30:18] Or are they?

[30:19] Because one of Christopher Walken's co-workers, he takes that sex tape home and becomes addicted to it.

[30:26] Although he soon feels fine.

[30:28] He gets over it pretty quickly.

Dan McCoy

[30:30] Like Robert Palmer, he's addicted to love.

Elliott Kalan

[30:32] Yeah, in a way.

[30:34] Sure.

[30:35] And he's also...

[30:36] What's the other song they did?

[30:37] Simply Resistible?

[30:38] Yeah.

[30:39] Did he have any other songs?

[30:40] Those are kind of the same song, right?

Dan McCoy

[30:41] Those are the same song.

[30:43] Yeah.

[30:44] I believe they basically have the same video as well.

Elliott Kalan

[30:46] Yeah, just those ladies dancing.

[30:47] So, one night in the lab, Louise Fletcher, she accidentally seems to cut her wrist on a boombox, if I understood correctly, and has a heart attack and dies.

[30:56] And she records her dying sensations using the helmet.

[31:00] Now, Christopher Walken's in charge of the project, and he tries to play back that tape, but it's too much for him.

[31:04] So, he sets up his computer machine so that it's not as intense as it otherwise would be.

[31:10] Just call them computers.

[31:11] Okay, sure.

[31:13] And the government guys...

Stuart Wellington

[31:15] It's like what, like moves the intensity slider down, so it isn't quite as intense?

[31:19] I mean, kind of.

Elliott Kalan

[31:19] He turns off a few of the sensory outputs, but the government guys, they tap into the feed and play it to Gordy, and they do not make it safer, and Gordy dies while listening to it.

[31:29] And Christopher Walken experiences the sensation of Louise Fletcher dying and then her soul leaving her body and entering a universe of bubbles containing her memories.

[31:39] It's too much for him.

[31:39] He wakes up in the hospital, and his boss is like, I'm pissed at you.

[31:42] This tape is locked away, and I'm played by Cliff Robertson, so I know a thing or two about scientific experimentation.

[31:48] I was in the movie Charlie.

[31:49] I won an Academy Award for it, dude.

[31:51] And he's like, whoa, okay, okay.

[31:53] I also have an Academy Award.

[31:54] I won an Academy Award, too.

[31:55] And Louise Fletcher, whose character has died, is like, I also have one.

[31:59] So, they talk about their Academy Awards for a little bit.

[32:01] Christopher Walken, though, he's determined to play that tape to the end.

[32:03] He gets tipped off to hack into the computers of the company, the computer machines, Dan,

[32:09] and you look for a project file called Brainstorm.

[32:12] This appears to be a secret government project to record the minds of people having extreme psychotic episodes so that they can, I don't know, throw it at people in war?

[32:24] I'm not quite sure, again, what the plan is.

[32:25] Here, put this helmet on.

[32:27] Yeah.

[32:27] And it's one of these movies where Christopher Walken hacks in, and someone's like, hey, he's trying to hack into the system.

[32:33] And the other guy's like, hold on, let him do it.

[32:34] I want to see how far he can get.

[32:36] And he gets all the way.

Dan McCoy

[32:37] He gets the thing that he wants.

Elliott Kalan

[32:39] He gets the metal for it.

Stuart Wellington

[32:41] So, wait, will they put the helmets on like a little flying guillotine contraption, and guys will have to like try and chuck them onto the enemy's heads?

Elliott Kalan

[32:49] So, it lands on their head and then drives them psychotic.

[32:53] Yeah, I have to assume that's what it is.

[32:55] No word on the one-armed boxer program that they were also putting together?

[33:02] So, he plays that psychosis thing that's too much.

[33:05] He rips his helmet off, but uh-oh, this is the kind of movie where his 12-year-old son will put on the helmet and experience an extreme psychotic break.

[33:13] So, that happens.

[33:14] Now, Christopher Walken is taking it personally.

[33:17] He's so mad.

[33:17] Now, is that played for laughs, or is it serious?

[33:19] No, it is not played.

[33:20] He's not like, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh, going.

[33:23] No, it's played for tragedies.

[33:26] It's played for tears.

[33:28] His boss is like, back off, take a vacation.

[33:30] So, he does.

[33:32] He and Natalie Wood go on a vacation together, but it's all a ruse.

[33:35] They pretend to have a public fight while they're being spied on, and their fight is hilarious.

[33:39] She goes, you go to hell.

[33:40] And he goes, you go to hell, too.

[33:41] And she goes, you go to hell.

[33:42] And he goes, you go to hell.

[33:44] Go to hell.

[33:44] They just say go to hell to each other a bunch of times.

[33:47] They storm out.

Dan McCoy

[33:47] Well, David Mamet wrote that fight for them.

[33:50] That's why it's very repetition-based.

[33:53] Yeah, I mean, if they use the Meisner technique, they could really make it sing.

Elliott Kalan

[33:58] But it was all a trick to escape surveillance.

[34:01] They go to their separate places, and while they talk on the phone and pretend to have a meaningful conversation about their relationship,

[34:06] they're actually both hacking into Brainstorm.

[34:09] Christopher Walken manages to hack into the assembly line making Brainstorm helmets and makes the robots go haywire.

[34:15] They're shooting fire hoses at security guards.

[34:17] The factory is filling up with foam.

[34:19] It's real silly.

[34:20] And then Christopher Walken loads in Louise Fletcher's death tape.

[34:23] He reenters that crazy vision of a world where memory bubbles are flying around, and he gets – I forget why, but he has to run away.

[34:31] He gets pulled out of the system.

[34:32] Now he has a mobile computer that I don't remember him – that he brought on a vacation with him.

[34:37] He uses it on a payphone, and he dials up that death tape again.

[34:40] This time he watches it all the way, and he sees – that's right.

[34:43] Louise Fletcher has recorded hell and heaven in it.

[34:46] It's a very –

[34:47] Whoa.

[34:48] A very goopy kind of like in-the-mouth-of-madness hell that you see for a moment.

[34:52] And then he ascends from Earth into space and is watching angels floating towards heaven and basically dies.

Stuart Wellington

[34:59] And do angels look normal style, or do they look like Old Testament style where they're like, I don't know, like a flame with a crown and like a spiral of goat legs?

Dan McCoy

[35:08] Or is it like that movie where like they fight all those angels that we watched and the angels were really weak?

[35:13] Legion?

[35:13] Movies Legion?

[35:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[35:15] Legion, where the angels were actually weaker than normal humans.

[35:17] Classic bit.

[35:18] They look kind of like fluttery sheets, like sheets fluttering in on a clothesline.

[35:23] So they're not –

Stuart Wellington

[35:24] Not sheets, the convenience store.

Elliott Kalan

[35:27] No, not – no.

[35:29] Not like that.

[35:31] They're like – it doesn't look like an angel where it's a person with wings.

[35:34] And it also – yeah, it's not an Old Testament angel where it's just an alien's flying saucer that primitive people saw and thought was a divine thing.

[35:41] Chariots of the gods, guys.

[35:42] Look it up.

[35:43] How could pyramids, a very simple shape that anyone – any child can make out of blocks, how could that emerge in two different parts of the world at the same time?

[35:52] Unless aliens were coming down to build pyramids so that predators could hunt aliens and xenomorphs in them.

[35:57] Guys, explain to me.

[35:58] How is it possible?

Stuart Wellington

[35:59] Guys, just open the Stargate in your mind, you know?

Elliott Kalan

[36:02] I know two people invented the telephone and two people invented the telegraph and two people invented the television separately.

[36:08] And the theory of natural selection also come up with by multiple different people.

[36:11] But pyramids, only one possible explanation.

[36:14] Aliens flying around the globe dropping pyramid seeds like a regular Johnny pyramid seed.

Dan McCoy

[36:19] Mm-hmm.

[36:20] Well, I'll fact check that with my Time Life Mysteries of the Unknown series and I'll get back to you, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[36:26] That'd be great.

[36:27] What if they – do you think there's a guy who does the new additions and he's like, I have to fact check and make sure all these things are still unknown.

[36:33] Oh, wait, we know about this now.

[36:34] Remove it from the book.

[36:37] Do they, like, send out updates to people where they're like, hey, newsflash, we know the Loch Ness Monster was a fake now.

Dan McCoy

[36:44] Addendum.

[36:45] Please insert this into books.

Elliott Kalan

[36:48] So, Christopher Walken seems to collapse and die and Natalie Wood is like, come back, come back, come back.

[36:54] And he goes, okay, and gets up and he goes, things are great.

[36:57] I love you.

[36:58] And they become a memory bubble in space and then the credits roll.

[37:03] So, it ends with Christopher Walken having a transcendent vision of heaven and realizing that, ooh, heaven is a place on earth for them.

[37:12] So, guys, that's Brainstorm.

[37:15] But they are a bubble at the end?

[37:16] Well, all memories become bubbles.

[37:18] It's more a way to graphically transition out of the film than anything else.

Dan McCoy

[37:22] Okay.

[37:23] So, this is like, this movie is like if in Flatliners, instead of dying, they rented the movie Flatliners.

[37:32] Uh-huh.

[37:33] And they experienced what it would be like for their character in Flatliners to die.

[37:38] Yeah.

[37:38] Through the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[37:39] What a cast in that Flatliners.

[37:42] Am I right?

[37:42] Oh, wow.

[37:43] Yeah.

[37:44] So many young stars.

[37:45] Julia Roberts.

Elliott Kalan

[37:46] Kiefer Sutherland.

[37:47] Good rat pack.

[37:48] Boris Karloff.

[37:50] Lillian Gish.

[37:53] Al Jarreau.

[37:55] Yep.

[37:55] Asta from the Thin Man.

Elliott Kalan

[37:59] The Thin Man dog.

[38:00] Lassie.

[38:00] Rin Tin Tin.

[38:02] Cuffs.

[38:02] All the big dogs.

[38:04] It was Cuffs a dog.

[38:05] Cuffs is a movie that features Tony Goldwyn and Christian Slater.

Stuart Wellington

[38:09] And Mia Jovovich.

[38:10] What am I thinking?

Elliott Kalan

[38:11] And is there a dog in it?

Stuart Wellington

[38:13] Probably.

[38:14] I mean, don't most movies have a stipulation that there has to be at least one dog in it or

[38:19] else it isn't technically a movie?

Elliott Kalan

[38:21] Yeah.

[38:21] That's the 13th Amendment.

[38:22] Yeah.

[38:22] Actually, the 13th Amendment is the anti-slavery amendment.

[38:24] I should have chosen a less important amendment to say that about.

[38:29] Let's say that.

[38:30] Let's go with one of those ones.

[38:30] What number is the amendment that lowered the voting age to 18?

[38:33] That could be it.

[38:33] Yeah.

[38:34] Let's see.

[38:34] Yeah.

[38:36] But guys, so Brainstorm is a story of science gone amok and people being very calm and in

[38:43] one part you do see boobs.

[38:45] Oh, that's great.

[38:46] So is Brainstorm a movie that you are glad you missed, sad you missed, or you have to

[38:52] go un-miss it?

[38:53] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[38:55] It sounds pretty good.

[38:57] Like, I'm tempted to say I had to go un-miss it.

[39:00] Like, I'm going to go watch it right now.

[39:02] How does one watch Brainstorm?

[39:04] Do I have to go back in time?

Elliott Kalan

[39:05] I mean, going back in time to 1983 when it was in the theaters would help.

[39:08] I recorded it off of Turner Classic Movies.

[39:11] I don't know if it's brain streaming anywhere.

Stuart Wellington

[39:13] Oh, so I can just go to Elliot's house and watch it.

Elliott Kalan

[39:16] No, I deleted it from my DVR after I watched it.

Stuart Wellington

[39:19] That seems inconsiderate to Stuart.

Dan McCoy

[39:21] Yeah, I mean, I'm already halfway there.

Elliott Kalan

[39:23] Are you?

[39:25] Yeah, I'm in a car.

[39:27] That's why my audio is so good.

[39:29] You're in, like, Kansas right now?

[39:31] Like, kind of halfway between you and me?

[39:32] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[39:34] I'm going to say, I mean, like, I'll just go with sad I missed it.

[39:41] Because, you know, I mean, part of me wants to un-miss it.

[39:47] But, look, silent running is great.

[39:52] But it's not known for being zippy.

[39:55] And I've got a feeling that Brainstorm also might have that trumbull drag to it.

[40:03] And just because I haven't heard much about this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[40:08] You would be correct.

[40:09] It is a movie that really takes its time all the time.

[40:13] Yeah.

[40:13] And I also, I didn't mention the subplot about Christopher Walken selling his house.

[40:18] Oh, wow.

[40:19] That sounds interesting.

[40:19] And having second thoughts about that.

[40:21] There's some other stuff going on with some of the other characters.

[40:25] It's, there's, I didn't tell you everything that was going on in it.

[40:29] It is, yeah, it's a slow movie.

[40:31] It's a slow, stately movie.

[40:33] It's like the Barry Lyndon of science fiction movies.

[40:38] Oh, so it's beautiful.

[40:39] In that it was all lit with candles.

[40:41] I mean, it's beautiful if you like looking at old analog 80s technology, which I do.

[40:46] Honestly, that's the highlight for me is just seeing all these old computer monitors and like stuff like that.

[40:50] But there is a scene where Christopher Walken learns they are assembling Brainstorm helmets to send out to consumers.

[40:56] And he's just watching the assembly line for quite some time, at least four minutes, I think.

[41:02] Three or four minutes.

[41:02] He's just standing there watching robots moving stuff as if we've never seen an assembly line before.

Dan McCoy

[41:07] Yeah, that sounds great.

[41:08] Do you think that Douglas Trumbull ever got Dalton Trumbo's mail by accident?

Elliott Kalan

[41:15] Probably.

[41:15] Well, they lived together.

[41:16] They were roommates.

[41:17] So all the time.

[41:18] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[41:19] Very confusing.

[41:20] Yeah.

[41:21] Well, that was all I had.

Elliott Kalan

[41:26] Fair.

[41:26] Stuart, do you have any other jokes about people whose names sound kind of like Douglas Trumbull?

Stuart Wellington

[41:30] Kind of like.

[41:31] Okay.

[41:32] Um.

[41:34] Wait.

[41:35] I do.

[41:39] Trouble.

Elliott Kalan

[41:40] Big Trumbull in Little China?

[41:42] Yeah, sure.

[41:44] Wait a minute.

[41:46] I mean, we all know the famous story of when the movie Nothing But Trouble came out and Douglas Trumbull sued them thinking it was called Nothing But Trumbull.

[41:54] I don't appear in this movie.

[41:56] He was like, wait a second.

[41:57] Wait a second.

[41:57] Have they been following all my movements with hidden cameras so they can make a movie about me?

[42:02] I didn't agree to this, Dan Aykroyd, you perv.

[42:04] Uh-huh.

[42:05] And then he sued him in court in the case of Trumbull v. Trouble.

[42:08] Uh-huh.

[42:09] And, of course, the judge quickly was able to put things across.

[42:12] The judge made it through the first 25 minutes or so of Nothing But Trouble before having a serious psychotic break of his own and having to give up.

[42:19] And at that point, it was considered that Douglas Trumbull dropped the case and Nothing But Trouble was marked unfit for human viewing by the FDA.

[42:29] Uh-huh.

Dan McCoy

[42:30] Yes.

[42:31] It was put in a barrel and sent to that medical supply shop from Return of the Living Dead.

[42:38] Uh-huh.

[42:38] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[42:38] It was rated R for real bad.

Stuart Wellington

[42:40] Yeah.

[42:41] And this whole story was collected in the movie Trumbull with the Curve, right?

[42:47] Yes, you did it!

Elliott Kalan

[42:48] You did it.

[42:49] We pulled it all together.

Stuart Wellington

[42:50] Now I can finally rest.

[42:51] Let me just walk over to this freshly dug grave, climb in, and pull dirt on top of myself.

Elliott Kalan

[42:56] Just lie down in there.

[42:57] Yeah.

[42:58] Oh.

[42:59] All right.

[43:00] Well.

[43:01] Well, we did it, guys.

[43:03] This has been another Miss That Movie.

[43:05] Uh-huh.

[43:06] We missed the movie.

[43:06] If anyone has thoughts about Brainstorm or this episode, please write to Dan McCoy at his home address.

[43:12] Uh-huh.

[43:12] Daniel McCoy, 123 Fake Street, Anytown, USA, Brooklyn, New York.

[43:18] Or just write to the Flophouse podcast.

[43:20] I don't have the email address off the top of my head, but you can find it on the website,

[43:24] the URL of which I also don't remember.

[43:26] Please feel free to tweet about the podcast, Instagram about the podcast, or TikTok about

[43:31] the podcast.

[43:31] Anything you want to do to help us spread the word of the Flophouse.

[43:34] I want to give thanks to my boys, Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington.

[43:38] And the TV show, my boys.

[43:40] And my boys, the TV show, an underrated gem.

[43:43] And to our editor, Jordan Cowling, for hopefully making this episode make some sort of semblance

[43:47] of sense.

[43:48] Guys, do you have any final words before I murder both of you at the end of the episode?

Dan McCoy

[43:53] My final words are the email is theflophousepodcasts at gmail.com.

[43:59] How was I to remember that?

[44:01] And the website is www.flophousepodcasts.com.

Elliott Kalan

[44:07] So the email is the Flophouse Podcast, but the website is just Flophouse Podcast.

Dan McCoy

[44:11] Here's the answer to that question, the implied question there.

[44:15] You didn't actually answer one, but ask one.

Elliott Kalan

[44:17] No, okay, I'll ask you.

[44:18] My real question is, what happened to brand standardization, Dan?

[44:21] I'll cross the line.

Dan McCoy

[44:22] Well, the answer is, back when we started this podcast, no one thought it would be worth

[44:28] a lick.

[44:29] And that we would have listeners who would care, and that there was a reason that we would

[44:35] need to optimize, you know, like growth, funnel people into the right places.

[44:41] And so a lot of real shoddy work got done in those first few years.

Stuart Wellington

[44:46] Luckily, it's a tight, mean machine now.

Elliott Kalan

[44:49] Yeah, and we pushed through it, and we are now worth one lick or one third of a Tootsie

[44:54] Roll Pop.

[44:54] Stuart, what did you want to say?

Stuart Wellington

[44:56] I just want to say, on the subject of streaming services that are not particularly well organized,

[45:01] HBO Max, not a very good service to use.

[45:04] It fails half the time, and when I do get to use it, it takes me forever to navigate the

[45:08] menus.

Elliott Kalan

[45:09] Now, I love HBO Max in some ways.

[45:12] I don't like that I cannot use it on my Roku brand television and instead have to stream

[45:16] it off my laptop using a program that I purchased for that purpose.

[45:21] But here's the great thing about HBO Max.

[45:23] If I'm looking for a particular Looney Tunes cartoon, HBO Max says, no, no, no, no, no, no,

[45:27] no, no, no.

[45:28] I can't find those.

[45:29] I'm going to give you all of them.

[45:31] And it means that I never know what Looney Tunes cartoon I'm going to show my children,

[45:34] because I can't find the particular one I'm looking for.

[45:36] Just watch The Undoing with them.

Stuart Wellington

[45:38] They'll find...

[45:39] They get to watch Hugh Grant's shockingly more lined face than I expected, and Nicole

[45:47] Kidman's alabaster-like unlined face.

[45:51] It's pretty amazing.

[45:52] It's kind of like a...

[45:54] Study in contrast.

[45:55] It's a collection of faces.

[45:57] What are you going to do with that collection?

[45:59] Trade it.

Elliott Kalan

[46:00] Trade it for more faces.

[46:01] That is something that a serial killer would have, is a collection of faces.

[46:06] Like in the Glenn dancing film Veronica.

[46:08] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[46:09] Guys, the wheels have come off of this.

Elliott Kalan

[46:11] The wheels are no longer on the bus.

[46:14] They are off the bus.

[46:15] And the bus is skidding over a cliff to explode, as in the season and series finale of The Young

[46:19] Ones.

[46:20] And so, I will thank my co-hosts, Dan and Stuart, and I'll thank you, the listener.

[46:24] And I'll say, good night.

Dan McCoy

[46:31] MaximumFun.org

[46:34] Comedy and culture.

S5

[46:36] Artist owned.

[46:37] Audience supported.

FH Mini #19: Miseed That Movie! - Brainstorm

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