Ep. #329 - Godzilla: King of the Monsters LIVE

[0:00] On this episode of the Flophouse, we discuss Godzilla, King of the Monsters, Cars!

[0:30] Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:40] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:41] And I'm Elliot Kalin and we're in Boston again.

[0:49] And Dan, when we're in Boston, what do we like to do on this podcast?

[0:54] Well we like to do the same thing as we normally do, but we wear our...

[0:57] Try to take over the world, Pinky and the Brain, wonderful, yes.

[1:01] Wait, was that set in Boston?

[1:04] Yeah, it was originally called Pinky and the Brain's Boston Adventure.

[1:09] And then they were like, they never leave the cage, really.

[1:12] Or they rarely do, so why are we calling out as Boston?

[1:15] If we just take Boston out of the title, then people can imagine it's happening in their

[1:19] town.

[1:20] And then the executives were like, that would be frightening if I had super intelligent

[1:23] mice in my town.

[1:25] But okay, you're Steven Spielberg, we'll do it.

[1:28] Um, so, I'm sorry, guys, listeners at home, Stuart just did the most amazing presentation.

[1:35] I really...

[1:36] Dan is really suffering.

[1:37] I really, I wish you had been here.

[1:38] I feel like...

[1:39] I wish you had been here.

[1:40] Dan has never in his life had a sexual or professional experience that so satisfied

[1:51] him the way that Stuart's presentation did.

[1:54] His mind is wiped.

[1:55] He is spent.

[1:56] It really is.

[1:57] I can't remember what we do.

[1:58] So someone else is driving this car, if you will.

[2:06] So what we normally do on this podcast, we watch a bad movie and we talk about it.

[2:10] Today we watch a movie and we're going to find out if it was bad or not.

[2:13] Today we watched Godzilla colon King of the Monsters.

[2:17] That's right.

[2:18] Not Godzilla King of the Monsters, like that's his last name.

[2:22] Godzilla colon King of the Monsters, because a big monster's got a big colon.

[2:28] Hi, I'm Elliot Kaelin for, uh...

[2:32] Hi, I'm Elliot Kaelin for monster rectal health, as I stand up.

[2:37] It's not anything any of us wants to think about.

[2:40] That the monsters we love might in some way damage their rectums.

[2:45] And yet, if we all take a moment to pay a little more attention to the rectums of our

[2:50] monsters, their lives will be better for it.

[2:53] And we'll really appreciate it.

[2:54] Join me, won't you?

[2:56] On a journey inside the monster colon.

[3:00] I hope you've got waiting boots and a spelunker's helmet because I didn't bring enough for everybody.

[3:08] Well, we watched Godzilla King of the Monsters.

[3:10] Let's just say right off the top, I was excited about this one because longtime listeners of

[3:16] the podcast will know that I'm an old time G fan.

[3:19] Uh-huh.

[3:20] That means a fan of Godzilla, right?

[3:22] That's exactly what it means.

[3:23] Well, just trying to stay up to speed.

[3:25] Not a fan of the Giver.

[3:27] It's fine.

[3:28] Wait, what?

[3:29] It's fine.

[3:30] Why are you dragging the Giver into this?

[3:32] It's just not as good as the...

[3:33] Do I have to...

[3:34] I'm gonna tweet Mark Hamill.

[3:35] No, don't do that!

[3:37] Now, as a kid, I loved the Godzilla movies.

[3:40] Here's how I felt as a kid.

[3:41] I've changed since then.

[3:42] I've matured.

[3:43] Big monsters, yes.

[3:44] Human-sized monsters, no.

[3:46] Thumbs down.

[3:47] Now I appreciate the human-sized monsters.

[3:48] Dracula's, Frankenstein's, the mummy I'm still not crazy about, Wolfman's, you get

[3:53] them all.

[3:54] Anyway, Gilman's, all of them.

[3:56] But Godzilla's and their associated giant monster brethren were the best.

[4:01] So, when they told me Godzilla was coming back, I was like, I am ready for this.

[4:07] Uh-huh.

[4:08] And then Matthew Broderick was like, I don't think you know.

[4:11] This is not your daddy's Godzilla, my friend.

[4:13] He called me and he said, I think maybe you should sit this one out.

[4:16] And I was like, Ferris Bueller, finally meeting Godzilla?

[4:19] Just like my fan fiction?

[4:21] You bet I'm gonna watch it.

[4:23] I should have taken that day off, though, from Godzilla movies.

[4:27] And then there was the Godzilla movie from five years ago and it was fine.

[4:29] So anyway, Godzilla, King of the Monsters.

[4:31] Let's just go through this movie, shall we, folks?

[4:33] It's five years after Godzilla, the first movie, came out.

[4:36] When Godzilla emerged from the...

[4:38] That's the original Japanese Godzilla movie?

[4:40] No.

[4:41] It is five years since the last American Godzilla movie came out.

[4:45] It is...

[4:46] Which was just called Godzilla, right?

[4:48] It was just called Godzilla.

[4:49] Okay.

[4:50] It is five years after the events of that film.

[4:52] Godzilla emerged, ruined San Francisco.

[4:55] Uh-huh.

[4:56] Worst pride day ever.

[4:57] Oh, weird.

[4:59] I mean, I feel like gentrification has already ruined San Francisco.

[5:02] Whoa!

[5:03] Hot take, hot take, hot take.

[5:04] What the tech industry started, Godzilla finished.

[5:10] Every time he knocked over a building, I was like, I hope it's full of tech program coders.

[5:14] Wow.

[5:15] I was like, wow, calm down, L.A.

[5:17] Yeah.

[5:18] And there was that shot of all these people...

[5:20] L.A. says he angrily types it into his iPad.

[5:22] There was all these shots of people priced out of their homes going,

[5:25] Thank you, Godzilla, thank you.

[5:27] So anyway, it's five years later.

[5:29] Godzilla hasn't been seen in a while.

[5:31] Everyone's mad at Monarch, the official monster hunting organization

[5:34] whose logo looks like a bow tie.

[5:37] If you saw the name Monarch and the logo looked like a bow tie,

[5:41] you would think it was some kind of gentleman's website where you order bow ties online.

[5:46] Yeah, we're disrupting the bow tie industry.

[5:49] And how would you do that exactly?

[5:51] Well, I guess some sort of box service where every month you get a new bow tie.

[5:57] It's actually not a bad idea.

[5:59] Yeah, it's not a good idea, yeah.

[6:01] You're never stuck in one of those situations, those common everyday situations,

[6:03] like, oh, I wish I had a bow tie, but...

[6:05] Wait, so it finds you wherever you are?

[6:07] No, it's delivered by drone.

[6:09] Oh, okay. Great, okay.

[6:11] And those drones look like Monarch butterflies.

[6:14] And the drones tie the bow tie around your neck, because no one can tie a bow tie.

[6:17] Thank you. No one, even the inventor of the bow tie, Solomon Bowtie,

[6:20] could not tie the bow tie, but he had hooks for hands, that's why.

[6:25] An old relative of mine.

[6:27] Yeah. You're related because you both had hooks for hands?

[6:30] So that's a genetic thing?

[6:32] Yep.

[6:34] So anyway, Monarch, everyone's like, Monarch, what's your deal?

[6:38] Ken Watanabe from the last movie, he's like,

[6:40] we need to find a way to coexist with these monsters that keep stepping on us.

[6:44] All right, let's find it.

[6:46] There's a family of scientists, and they're going to be the central characters of this here film.

[6:49] They are Vera Farmiga, Kyle Chandler, and their daughter Maddie.

[6:52] Actress's name, I don't know, but she's the psychic girl from Stranger Things, right?

[6:56] Yeah, she's 11.

[6:57] Okay.

[6:58] Millie Bobby Brown.

[6:59] She's older than 11.

[7:00] Yeah.

[7:01] Yeah.

[7:02] She's the character 11.

[7:03] That's her character's name.

[7:04] Character's name is 11.

[7:05] From The Prisoner.

[7:07] But what if...

[7:09] It's just her name.

[7:10] It's like how briefly in the comic strip Peanuts there was a kid named 3.

[7:14] Or like how Blossom's best friend was named 7.

[7:17] No.

[7:18] 6.

[7:19] Look, I thought she was better than 6.

[7:21] She deserved to be 7.

[7:23] Oh, God.

[7:24] Anyway, look, I'm sorry if that's a hot take on Blossom's best friend,

[7:28] that she deserved better than the name 6.

[7:30] So anyway, these scientists, they had a son who died on G-Day,

[7:34] which they don't call it in the movie, but they should.

[7:36] The day Godzilla attacked San Francisco.

[7:38] And they broke up.

[7:39] It ruined their family.

[7:40] Now Vera Farmiga is a scientist who lives in a monarch outpost

[7:43] where her daughter Maddie has the run of the place

[7:45] so that when they go to watch a mothra being born,

[7:48] her daughter just runs up to it and is like,

[7:50] Let me touch the egg.

[7:51] Let me touch the egg.

[7:52] And the government scientists are like,

[7:54] I'll allow it.

[7:55] Anyway, a mothra larva gets born,

[7:57] and they calm it down with what we're going to call an orca.

[8:00] But it's a device that can identify and mimic a monster's bioacoustics.

[8:05] Let's just stop for a moment.

[8:06] Guys, you're real fans of bioacoustics, right?

[8:10] Yeah.

[8:11] Because there's a lot of talk of that in the movie.

[8:13] That hi-fi company, I guess, bioacoustics.

[8:17] Bioacoustics, yeah.

[8:18] They're a hi-fi company in a David Cronenberg movie.

[8:21] They now install a record player in your belly.

[8:24] Okay.

[8:25] Keep talking.

[8:26] That's all I have.

[8:28] You'd be a pretty big customer to hold a whole record player.

[8:31] I mean, you know, why should only the tiny be hi-fi equipment, Elliot?

[8:38] You're right.

[8:39] That's exactly what I was implying, and I was wrong to do so.

[8:43] Now, we're going to talk about bioacoustics a lot today,

[8:47] and it would be really easy for us to make a bunch of fart jokes, right?

[8:51] That is the ultimate bioacoustic.

[8:53] But for this one, it just means roaring that you can somehow track

[8:57] and also is what encoded in the DNA of the monster.

[8:59] They just use bioacoustics and hope that we're like, oh, is that a thing?

[9:04] I guess it is.

[9:05] I don't want to seem dumb, so I'm not going to ask about it.

[9:07] Is it like that thing on how infants crying is hardwired into our brains to annoy us?

[9:12] It is to me because I've got one at home, and he's always crying,

[9:15] and I can't get it out of my head, constantly ringing through my ears

[9:19] like the heart of the man I killed.

[9:22] Oh, wow.

[9:23] But I killed him.

[9:24] Tear up the floor for him.

[9:25] I buried him under the floor.

[9:26] I mean, for many reasons, your children shouldn't be listening to this episode now.

[9:29] It's the beating of that hideous heart, and it's beating like this.

[9:35] It's beating money, the song.

[9:37] I don't know why.

[9:38] Anyway, bioacoustics.

[9:40] Does the heart have the rights to that song?

[9:42] The heart wants what it wants, Dan, including the rights to money.

[9:47] Seems like that heart would play heart, but carry on.

[9:51] I know.

[9:52] It wasn't worth me stopping you for that.

[9:54] We both know what I did.

[9:55] Maybe put your notes aside and we can talk about this.

[9:57] Look, I can't judge someone else for stopping them.

[10:00] Something for a joke that's not worth it.

[10:02] Let he who is not me cast the first stone.

[10:04] I just know it's going to come up

[10:06] in my annual performance review,

[10:07] so I'm just saying that I know.

[10:08] Oh, your annual performance review

[10:09] is mostly going to be about your Twitter feed.

[10:11] Okay.

[10:13] So, but they don't have a lot of time

[10:15] to commune with this Mothralare

[10:17] because Charles Dance walks in with his bunch of goons

[10:20] and they kill everyone almost.

[10:20] He walks in or does he dance in?

[10:24] No, he walks in, unfortunately.

[10:26] He should dance in.

[10:27] Oh, okay.

[10:28] He walks in and shoots everyone but Vera and Maddie,

[10:31] takes them and the monster calling machine.

[10:33] He's an eco-terrorist, it turns out,

[10:34] who thinks monsters should rule the world.

[10:37] He takes them to his base in Antarctica

[10:39] where frozen in ice they have Monster Zero,

[10:43] the ultimate monster, or I'll call him Ultamonster,

[10:47] a sort of mega monster.

[10:49] The Alphamonster?

[10:50] Yeah, he killed someone in front of a Rolling Stones concert.

[10:53] Yeah, okay, right.

[10:55] And Monarch, they're like,

[10:57] how shall we catch a Vera Formiga?

[10:58] Only one person can, her ex-husband, Kyle Chandler.

[11:02] He hates monsters.

[11:03] This is good screenwriting.

[11:04] The two characters have diametrically opposed

[11:06] views of monsters.

[11:08] Yeah, it's kind of like in the Mummy movies

[11:11] how in the first movie, Rachel Weisz's brother

[11:14] doesn't know a mummy exists.

[11:16] Second movie, he's terrified of mummies.

[11:18] By the third movie, he hates them.

[11:21] But I also enjoy the fact that the death of their child

[11:25] via Godzilla has led them to different conclusions.

[11:28] Kyle Chandler, more logically, one might think,

[11:31] hates your Godzilla and other monsters,

[11:34] whereas Vera Formiga looks at the Godzilla death

[11:37] of her child and like, yeah, okay, more monsters.

[11:40] She's like, science wins out.

[11:42] Godzilla's stronger than my son.

[11:45] I gotta go with the winner on this.

[11:48] She's like, some people like sons.

[11:49] I like sons that don't get crushed by monsters.

[11:52] Anyway, I didn't say it, she did.

[11:55] In the version I just made up.

[11:57] So, he hates monsters.

[11:58] You might as well say he wants to destroy all monsters.

[12:01] Little Easter egg for the G fans out there.

[12:02] So, Monarch, they track Godzilla's bioacoustics

[12:05] because I guess you can do that

[12:07] because there's not a lot of noise in the sea, I guess.

[12:10] He's swimming over to Antarctica.

[12:12] It's almost like he's being drawn to Monster Zero.

[12:15] Guys, what do you think he's hoping to get out of this

[12:18] rendezvous with Monster Zero?

[12:19] Maybe a friend or a battle.

[12:22] I mean, those could be the same thing.

[12:23] There's really two options.

[12:25] If you're a superhero, it's the same thing.

[12:27] You battle, then you're a friend.

[12:28] And then you team up to beat up poachers or...

[12:31] Probably poachers, yeah.

[12:32] Or the Kingpin or...

[12:33] Yeah, he's probably a poacher, too.

[12:35] Or a Kang or...

[12:37] Yeah, yeah, Kang poaching people for time, poaching animals.

[12:39] Dormammu.

[12:40] Yeah, Dormammu's an inter-dimensional poacher.

[12:44] Krave and the Hunter.

[12:46] I don't see the connection.

[12:50] So, Godzilla shows up and there's a bit,

[12:53] not yet, there's a big confusing fight

[12:54] between the Monarch soldiers and the eco-terrorists.

[12:57] It's very hard to tell what's going on.

[12:59] The whole thing ends with Vera Farmiga

[13:01] setting off an explosion that wakes up Monster Zero.

[13:04] Now, they just keep,

[13:05] they haven't named him officially in the movie,

[13:06] but we all know who he is, guys.

[13:09] You see those three heads and two tails popping up?

[13:11] It's King Ghidorah, everybody.

[13:14] Now, do I feel a special connection to King Ghidorah

[13:16] because I dressed up as him for Halloween

[13:18] as a child one year?

[13:19] And my mother, working only off of my verbal description

[13:23] of a monster with three heads, decided that,

[13:26] and this is a creative way to do it,

[13:28] but I was disappointed at the time

[13:29] because it didn't look like it.

[13:30] She gave me a headband and put two paper bags

[13:33] filled with cotton with monster faces drawn on them

[13:35] and attached them to the headband

[13:37] because all she knew was three heads.

[13:38] And like, mom, I appreciate that you tried.

[13:41] That's the important thing.

[13:42] But I had this elaborate imagination.

[13:44] In my head, I'm like,

[13:45] I'll have the one long neck in the middle for my head

[13:47] and my arms will have necks also

[13:49] because Ghidorah doesn't have any arms.

[13:50] He just has the necks and the wings.

[13:52] But that's how I got it.

[13:52] Now, how did you think that you were going to elongate

[13:54] your own neck?

[13:57] I thought hormones would kick in and do that.

[13:59] Still waiting.

[14:01] So, beautiful.

[14:02] Oh, shit.

[14:03] But beautiful.

[14:04] Oh, my God.

[14:06] Take that, my adrenal glands and hypothalamus, I guess.

[14:10] Beautiful Amiga, let's lose this monster.

[14:13] At this point, you're like, huh, what?

[14:16] Because she knows that she likes monsters.

[14:18] No, she like-likes monsters.

[14:20] You did not think that she would do so in a way

[14:23] that might endanger her child and her ex-husband.

[14:26] Exactly.

[14:27] Like I was saying, you don't think she like-likes monsters.

[14:28] You think that's, what's her name from The Shape of Water,

[14:30] who's also on the Monarch team.

[14:32] You know why she likes the monsters.

[14:34] Sally Hawkins.

[14:35] We all know why she likes monsters.

[14:37] For sex.

[14:38] Okay.

[14:40] Remember?

[14:41] Like The Shape of Water?

[14:42] Yeah.

[14:43] Water wasn't the only shape she was interested in.

[14:46] What?

[14:48] She collects silhouettes.

[14:49] Anyway, okay, so.

[14:52] So, Ghidra wakes up,

[14:54] and his heads are kind of bickering with each other,

[14:56] and I was like, this is great.

[14:57] It's so efficient.

[14:58] He's the Disney villain and the goofy sidekicks

[15:00] all in the same monster.

[15:02] He spits lightning like a freestyle rapper,

[15:05] and Godzilla shows up for a pretty blurry fight in the snow.

[15:09] Now, Stuart, when I say I wanna see two monsters fight,

[15:12] do you think I mean behind a screen of snow?

[15:14] Yeah, you want it to be as obscured as possible,

[15:16] right, Elliot?

[15:18] And you say two monsters,

[15:18] that's because Godzilla bursts out of the ice

[15:21] and saves everybody at the last minute,

[15:23] kind of like the T-Rex does

[15:25] in all those Jurassic World movies.

[15:27] Yeah, do you think the T-Rex was watching the movie

[15:29] and he was like, that's my bit.

[15:30] He stole my bit.

[15:31] He's like, I'm calling my lawyer, let me, oh no.

[15:34] Tiny hands, can't reach his phone.

[15:37] I mean, he would just say, Siri, call my lawyer.

[15:40] And the movie goes to a lot of lengths

[15:42] to obscure special effects as much as it can,

[15:45] to the degree that later on they're like,

[15:46] oh, there's a hurricane coming.

[15:48] Like, that hurricane's moving too fast to be a hurricane.

[15:50] It's like, of course it's a monster, et cetera.

[15:51] But they're like, I guess monsters

[15:53] move around with hurricanes in them

[15:55] so we can not see the bad CGI, I guess.

[15:58] Yeah, it's like they wanna go as far as to be like,

[16:00] this monster only exists in shadow.

[16:03] You know what, it's a monster that only destroys buildings

[16:05] when our eyes are closed.

[16:07] And someone's like, you know what the real monster is?

[16:09] The human heart.

[16:10] Think about that, don't need a special effect for that.

[16:13] Okay, so anyway, Godzilla's on the ropes.

[16:15] Uh-oh, it looks like the G-Man's not doing well

[16:17] against the other G-Man.

[16:19] Although he's not called G yet, he's Monster Zero.

[16:21] But then some bombers come by and they end it prematurely.

[16:23] It's the thing that always happens

[16:25] at the end of the first battle.

[16:27] We can't have a real winner or loser yet.

[16:29] So some bombers come in and blow it up.

[16:31] The same thing happens in the Bad News Bears.

[16:35] We all remember that, right?

[16:37] Maybe it was the director's cut.

[16:39] All the Monarch guys are like, how could Vera,

[16:42] Betrayus, Vera said that?

[16:45] She FaceTimes with them and she's like, hey.

[16:47] I'm gonna need some receipts.

[16:50] She's like, humans are the world's disease

[16:51] and monsters are the cure.

[16:53] And they're like, what?

[16:53] She's like, look, look at all these cities

[16:56] that the monsters destroyed and we couldn't go back to.

[16:58] Now they're flourishing, biodiverse ecosystems.

[17:01] We just need some monsters to thin the herd of humanity,

[17:03] stomp on some cities,

[17:04] all of our earth problems will be solved.

[17:06] And how does she show that, Elliot?

[17:08] With a lot of suspiciously already queued up B-roll.

[17:12] It's like, did she produce this call?

[17:14] This is like basically a Skype call,

[17:16] but they're just like,

[17:17] let me show you what I'm talking about.

[17:19] They're just like cuts to Koyaanisqazi stop footage

[17:24] of plants growing over buildings and stuff.

[17:27] Clips from Microcosmos.

[17:30] This isn't technically accurate,

[17:32] but I just thought it fit the musical cues.

[17:35] I've been dabbling with a little iMovie.

[17:36] I wanna show you what I've been working on.

[17:38] I'm not only a monster releaser,

[17:40] I'm also an auteur.

[17:42] And I wanna show you my new project.

[17:44] It's anyway, it's set to the Bengals' Hazy Shade of Winter.

[17:48] I mean, I know they didn't write that song.

[17:49] They did a cover of it.

[17:50] Sorry, get off my back.

[17:51] Okay.

[17:53] So anyway, but-

[17:54] Elliot, you talked about attacking the audience.

[17:56] I'm sorry.

[17:57] I just get so mad when I know people

[17:59] are gonna jump on me for the Bengals.

[18:00] Anyway, so there's a theme in this movie,

[18:04] which is people always having the pictures and videos

[18:06] they need to back up their arguments right at hand.

[18:09] There's another member of the Monarch team

[18:11] whose sole job seems to be to just throw out images

[18:13] of monsters from old books and paintings and stuff

[18:15] and be like, monster, monster, monster, monster.

[18:17] We've always had them with us.

[18:19] It's like these artists needed to communicate

[18:21] about this King Ghidra three-headed monster,

[18:23] and they just didn't know how.

[18:24] And she throws out William Blake's painting of the dragon,

[18:27] which she did not do her research.

[18:29] That's a representation of Satan.

[18:30] Come on, guys, come on.

[18:32] And it is a, as we all know,

[18:34] a specific message through the centuries

[18:35] to William Dollar Hyde that he needs to go killing people.

[18:39] Anyway, so.

[18:40] He needs to go eat that painting.

[18:42] That is the strangest part,

[18:43] because it's also like, so this is an alternate universe

[18:46] where that painting doesn't exist anymore?

[18:48] He can kill all those fictional people,

[18:50] but destroy a real painting?

[18:52] Anyway, I like that painting.

[18:53] Let's talk more about Red Dragon, everyone.

[18:54] Or William Blake.

[18:55] Now, you see, the thing is,

[18:58] he blurred the line between poetry and mysticism.

[19:01] I mean, he was one of the first

[19:03] self-publishers of comics, if you will.

[19:06] Yeah, I guess, yeah, there's a direct line

[19:07] between him and Dave Sim.

[19:09] Oh, no!

[19:11] Look, they both had some crazy ideas.

[19:15] Vera, she's just on a monster waking up spree.

[19:16] She wakes up Rodan before they can fully,

[19:19] before Monarch can evacuate.

[19:20] Sculptor?

[19:21] Island, yeah, yeah, yeah, wakes up Rodan,

[19:23] who's like, ah.

[19:24] I guess he's a monster.

[19:25] Time to have affairs with my assistants.

[19:31] And Rodan.

[19:31] Wow, that was really a guess

[19:32] that you would know information about him.

[19:36] Time to make many, many bronze casts

[19:39] of each of my work.

[19:40] So when people are like,

[19:41] I saw The Thinker in Paris,

[19:42] it's like, yeah, cool, dude.

[19:44] It's all over the place.

[19:45] There's one in, I think, Pasadena.

[19:46] Okay, so.

[19:48] Welcome to the Comedy Central Roast of Rodan.

[19:52] So Nanette can be full of art jokes,

[19:55] but I can't make art jokes?

[19:58] So that's a double standard.

[20:00] So, uh, Rodan has a pretty cool...

[20:01] Yeah, yeah, speak up for white guys against white guys.

[20:04] Dangerous territory. Almost as dangerous as being in Rodan's sights,

[20:07] because he's just flipping over jet planes left and right.

[20:10] Maddie is horrified that her mom did this.

[20:13] Anyway, Monster Zero comes up to beat up Rodan,

[20:16] and Rodan's like,

[20:17] oh, I'm so sorry, sir, and bows down to King Ghidorah.

[20:19] Literally, the monster's, like, paying obeisance,

[20:22] because Monster Zero's the new Alpha.

[20:23] Uh-oh!

[20:24] Unless Gojira has something to say about that,

[20:27] because guess who shows up?

[20:28] Uh, Godzilla?

[20:30] Yeah, you're right.

[20:33] You did it, right on one.

[20:34] He shows up and rips off one of Ghidorah's heads.

[20:37] Whoa, whoa, whoa, that never happened in the old one.

[20:40] Uh, I mean, the old one was better all around, but still.

[20:42] That's when General David Straythorn of the United States military military...

[20:48] He got a rescue from, uh, Alaska?

[20:50] Sorry, that's a limbo joke, everyone.

[20:52] Wow. John Miles' limbo.

[20:55] Never seen so many blank faces.

[20:58] Check out the works of John Sayles.

[21:00] And Lone Star?

[21:01] But Dan is right to question,

[21:03] because limbo ends on a cliffhanger, so...

[21:07] So, Isla Stellos' babies? What was the other one?

[21:09] Let's just not dwell on it. Let's pretend this never happened.

[21:12] All right.

[21:13] Look, I... What?

[21:16] What? People want us to talk about John Sayles' movies.

[21:19] All right, he wrote the screenplay to Alligator.

[21:21] What do you want to know about him?

[21:24] He wrote The Howling. I don't know what to tell you.

[21:26] Let's talk about the return of the Secaucus 7, everybody.

[21:29] I wish the Secaucus 7 stayed where they were. I've never seen it.

[21:32] Anyway, so, General David Straythorn,

[21:34] he launches a super nuke at the monsters.

[21:37] Doesn't work so well. Giedra's fine.

[21:39] He even regrows his head in a pretty cool body horror scene.

[21:42] But Godzilla appears to be sad... appears to be dead.

[21:45] How's his bioacoustics, Elliot?

[21:49] Better than ever.

[21:51] I mean, growing that new head,

[21:52] it really pushed him into a new area of bioacoustics,

[21:55] where he's kind of interrogating what we mean by bioacoustics.

[21:58] And he's playing with the fiber and the timber of the sound.

[22:02] And so it's like he's gone back to basics

[22:04] in a way that puts a new spin on what we thought about bioacoustics.

[22:07] It's weird for me to say this, but I'm sorry I asked.

[22:11] How are you enjoying your own John Sayles moment there, Elliot?

[22:15] Not well.

[22:18] Looks like this John Sayles should be half off.

[22:23] I'm saying we should cut John Sayles in half.

[22:27] Anyway, Godzilla appears to be dead.

[22:29] And the monarch people, who at this point really only know Godzilla

[22:31] for smashing San Francisco, act real sad about it, like,

[22:34] no, but he's the title character of the movie.

[22:38] After we do this and Kyle Chandler's like, I'm glad he's dead.

[22:40] And they're like, stop being a jerk.

[22:42] Anyway, all these monsters start waking up everywhere,

[22:44] including this really cool monster that's like a trunkless mammoth gorilla.

[22:49] It's like a gorilla with huge mammoth tusks.

[22:51] It's like, what is this thing?

[22:52] Give him a movie.

[22:54] Girmammoth, mamrilla, what is it called?

[22:56] Dan, Stuart, what is it called?

[22:59] Mammoth?

[23:01] Mammoth?

[23:02] Like, he's a man, but he's a mammoth.

[23:04] But he's not a man.

[23:05] Wait a minute, he's not a man?

[23:08] Mammilla.

[23:10] OK, Mammilla.

[23:14] Grimilla.

[23:15] No, but that's got very little mammoth in it.

[23:16] It's mostly gorilla.

[23:18] Gremlins, too.

[23:19] I like it.

[23:21] OK, so he's called Gremlins in the new bag.

[23:23] How about Buzzsaw?

[23:25] OK.

[23:25] How about Sub-Zero?

[23:27] No, I mean, there's already a Monster-Zero,

[23:29] so that's definitely confusing.

[23:30] I also like how you're like, how about Dynamo?

[23:34] OK, guys, I'm going to spoil you.

[23:36] Do you know any other characters from The Running Man?

[23:39] Are they public domain yet?

[23:42] Let's just call him Terry.

[23:43] His name is Terry, OK?

[23:45] I like that you're like, give this monster movie, too, though.

[23:48] Like, you're Dom DeLuise, the beginning of the Muppet movie,

[23:50] like, going through the swamp being like, oh, a singing frog.

[23:53] That guy's got to be in pictures.

[23:55] And you're like, in the rubble of this city

[23:59] as things crash down.

[24:00] And you're like, hey, do you have representation?

[24:02] Oh, I think you've got it.

[24:05] I'm hearing a lot of buzz.

[24:07] So these monsters are waking up everywhere.

[24:09] Turns out, now that Monster-Zero,

[24:10] I'm just going to call him Ghidorah.

[24:11] They haven't named him yet in the movie.

[24:13] But I'm just going to call him that, because that's his name.

[24:14] And I know it.

[24:15] They like read it on a scroll somewhere.

[24:17] They're like, oh, this ancient thing calls him King Ghidorah.

[24:20] I guess that's his name.

[24:21] And they're like, ah, the many who is one, because he's got three heads.

[24:24] And I think one of you made the point that like he didn't name himself that.

[24:27] Like, it's not like, oh, we figured there's a lot in this movie

[24:30] of what I call Batman 66 logic,

[24:34] because there's a part in Batman the movie where they're like

[24:36] there's like a shark that's pulling on Batman's leg.

[24:39] And they're like, oh, a shark was pulling my leg.

[24:42] The Joker. It must have been.

[24:43] Oh, the whole thing is like enormous riddle.

[24:45] The Riddler.

[24:46] And it's like it's not evidence that you use that word when you're describing it.

[24:50] And so there's a lot of them being like, oh, it's almost like they're moving

[24:53] like in a pack packs have alphas.

[24:56] The alpha must be this one.

[24:58] Ah, yes.

[24:59] And the bioacoustics, it's like these are not words

[25:01] that the monsters are using to describe themselves.

[25:03] Like they're just coming up with this stuff off the top of their head.

[25:05] And the movie also seems to believe that the more they explain

[25:08] the bullshit science, the more we'll believe it, rather than like

[25:11] the more logical things like say the bullshit science really fast.

[25:15] So the audience doesn't notice or don't even say it at all.

[25:17] Be like monsters, monsters everywhere.

[25:19] Like blah, blah, blah, blah, monsters, monsters, monsters, monsters, monsters.

[25:24] You get a monster. You get a monster.

[25:25] Because I'll. Hey, guys, I want to talk to Hollywood for a second.

[25:29] So this is private. If you guys could not listen for a second.

[25:31] Hollywood, this is just between you and me and maybe Dan Stewart.

[25:35] I don't know. Look, I just like monsters, OK?

[25:39] So when I see a monster movie, I don't want to see people in it.

[25:43] I used to watch He-Man as a kid.

[25:44] You know which character I didn't like? He-Man.

[25:47] You know which character I did like? All the bad guys.

[25:50] Because they were monsters.

[25:52] It was I want to go to store and buy monsters.

[25:54] Yeah. And that's what I did.

[25:55] I owned none of the human figures.

[25:57] I owned the most human figure I owned was Mossman because he's so soft.

[26:02] And he smelled like patchouli.

[26:05] Guys, I'd like to talk to Paul Hollywood for a moment.

[26:09] OK. Quit pretending like you don't like something

[26:13] and then shaking people's hands.

[26:15] We're on to you. We get it.

[26:18] We've seen it.

[26:19] Sure. Do you want to talk to anyone?

[26:23] I guess Paul Newman.

[26:26] Sure. Great.

[26:28] You're pretty old to have the name New Man.

[26:32] Particularly as a dead man.

[26:34] Yeah, he died years ago.

[26:37] It should be Paul Old Man, no?

[26:39] Now, how do you feel about Gary Oldman?

[26:41] He's really grown into the name. What?

[26:45] Who?

[26:47] OK, but but you got to admit that Michael Mann is pretty accurate, right?

[26:53] I'll check.

[26:59] How? How are you?

[27:01] You know how he's going to check, Dan.

[27:03] I think you know how he's going to check.

[27:05] Anyway, moving on.

[27:06] So all these monsters are waking up and they're all now Ghidra's slaves.

[27:09] If King Ghidorah wants them to go wreck some cities, by God,

[27:12] they're going to do it because the king told them, as Mel Brooks once said,

[27:14] it's good to be the king if you're a three headed monster with no arms

[27:18] because you have other monsters do your bidding because, again,

[27:20] you have no arms, just wings.

[27:22] Yeah, it's harder to knock things down without arms.

[27:24] That is a direct quote from Mel Brooks.

[27:26] OK, they're like, oh, only Godzilla could stop Ghidorah and he's dead.

[27:31] What are we going to do?

[27:33] And meanwhile, all this is happening.

[27:34] Mothra emerges from her cocoon in moth form in clear clarity.

[27:39] Right, guys?

[27:40] Well, I mean, it's behind a waterfall

[27:43] that everybody is like staring at and shocked about.

[27:47] I feel like so much of the direction of this movie was telling a large

[27:50] cast of talented actors to be amazed at things they can only imagine.

[27:56] And now, guys.

[27:58] And then imagine being those actors and going to the actual movie

[28:01] and being like, I still can't fucking see it.

[28:10] Now, I want to take a tangent

[28:12] and show you a little bit flophouse behind the scenes.

[28:14] Dan did not was not interested.

[28:16] He didn't take kindly to the fact that whenever Mothra was on screen,

[28:19] I would sing as much as I remember

[28:22] of the Mothra song that the Mothra twins sang in the original Mothra.

[28:27] And, you know, I would be a cad

[28:30] if I were to force him to listen to it now and from an audience.

[28:33] No, still can't believe we made it this far.

[28:36] OK, keeping in mind, I do not know Japanese.

[28:39] This is just based on the sounds of the words in the song.

[28:42] And this is the problem right away.

[28:44] It is built through 20 years of life.

[28:46] OK, danger, Will Robinson.

[28:49] It's just every time I see Mothra, I just want to hear Masuda.

[28:54] Masuda onan got a cool, yeah.

[28:58] And I'm still a little hot.

[29:03] Humber, Humber, Huya, Humber, Humber, Huya.

[29:07] Something else.

[29:09] Because I'm Masuda Masuda.

[29:16] And this is by two tiny little women, right?

[29:19] Yeah, two tiny ladies, the Mothra twins.

[29:21] So you're saying you don't speak Japanese?

[29:25] Strange as it is to believe.

[29:27] All right. So anyway, back to this movie, because that does not happen in this movie.

[29:30] And Maddie and Vera are fighting.

[29:32] She's like, you're the monster mom, which, to be honest,

[29:34] every parent hears at some point in their life,

[29:36] whether you're waking up monsters or not.

[29:39] Over here is Vera.

[29:40] So what can you do? Just wake up all the monsters.

[29:42] Who cares?

[29:43] She overhears Vera's plan to use the Orca again.

[29:46] That's the monster calling, calming, talking to device.

[29:49] It's like the machine Danny DeVito makes in The Simpsons to talk to babies.

[29:53] But for monsters, because I guess a baby's kind of like a real life monster.

[29:58] They're constantly screaming.

[30:00] breaking things, ruining your life, and a monster's going to keep you up at night just like a baby.

[30:07] Guys, you've got experience with babies, right?

[30:11] I guess that now that...

[30:14] I can't even make that... Moving on.

[30:16] I mean, I have experience with Baby, the Mystery of the Lost Legend.

[30:19] About a dinosaur. It's just a monster.

[30:22] Is it a secret? I think I know about it.

[30:27] So it's not really a mystery, either.

[30:29] What are you trying to say?

[30:31] I'm saying, we'd better get back to the movie because

[30:33] she overhears her plan to use the orca to call Ghidra and then

[30:37] question mark, question mark, question mark, save the day.

[30:39] It's like, step one, call Ghidra. Step two, something.

[30:42] Step three, no more monster problems.

[30:44] Where is she going to find a stadium to amplify that signal

[30:48] to make it loud enough that King Ghidorah is going to hear it?

[30:51] Uh, Fenway? Yeah!

[30:54] Boston, Boston, Boston, Boston, Boston!

[30:56] Boston, Boston, Boston!

[30:58] That's right. Watch out.

[30:59] Accident of local color. Woo!

[31:01] We didn't plan it, and it's good because Boston does not come out well from the movie.

[31:07] Although, I will say, okay, just a little flash forward.

[31:10] There's all this destruction going on, yet that Sitco sign is still standing proudly.

[31:16] I assume they landmarked that thing because Godzilla gingerly steps around it

[31:21] rather than get in trouble with the housing commission.

[31:24] There's a point where King Ghidorah steps on a giant Dunkin' Donuts billboard,

[31:28] and I can just imagine my wife being like,

[31:30] Fuck you.

[31:33] Don't fuck with my donkeys.

[31:37] It's like the part in Transformers when Megatron just punches the American flag off the Brooklyn Bridge.

[31:41] It's like, that seems petty.

[31:44] So, the Monarch dudes, they find Godzilla recharging underwater in some kind of

[31:48] ancient hidden underwater temple.

[31:50] As if, I think as Stuart pointed out, he was Cthulhu, dead, waiting at his sunken R'lyeh.

[31:55] Yep, he's just like that.

[31:57] But instead, it's Godzilla, and it's super, what?

[32:00] Super, like, radiation-y?

[32:02] Yeah, it's very radiation-y.

[32:04] I don't remember. It was a while since I watched Chernobyl.

[32:07] They say radiation-y.

[32:09] Yeah, that's the way you describe that. It's radiation-y.

[32:11] In between Shane's smoking.

[32:13] Stuart was like, how many Rontagans is it?

[32:15] Because we really want to show off what he learned from Chernobyl.

[32:17] 3.5. That's as high as the meter goes.

[32:20] Godzilla lies there, surrounded by graphite.

[32:24] And it made me, I was talking to Stuart, it made me wonder if,

[32:27] so dead Cthulhu lies sleeping in R'lyeh.

[32:29] If ever his alarm goes off and he's like,

[32:31] and he just hits the sleep button and then sets the alarm for another million years.

[32:35] I hope he does.

[32:37] I don't want him to come back up.

[32:39] Anyway, they're like, hey, there's only one way to wake up Godzilla,

[32:42] because he's a big dude, set off a nuke in his face.

[32:46] But we're in this submarine and for reasons I've forgotten,

[32:49] the weapon systems don't work.

[32:51] Yeah, nukes are Godzilla's spinach.

[32:54] He's like, da da da da da da.

[32:57] And I'm gonna go get Ghidorah.

[33:00] It's a pretty good impression.

[33:03] Breathing with my fire breath.

[33:05] Blow me down, that kind of stuff.

[33:07] And Mothra's like, Popeye, Popeye, help.

[33:11] And King Ghidorah's like, come with me.

[33:14] They're all mumbling under their breath constantly.

[33:19] Because they didn't want to animate the mouths.

[33:21] They didn't know what they were going to say.

[33:23] Godzilla's just walking past these beautiful parallax backgrounds.

[33:26] That's an old Fleischer Brothers Popeye joke.

[33:28] Anyway, so they're like, we have to set it off manually.

[33:31] And it's like, yeah, I guess you do have to rip off the end of Pacific Rim.

[33:34] So anyway, Dr. Serizawa's like, I don't want to be in any more of these movies.

[33:39] I'll do it.

[33:41] And he goes and he sets the nuke timer.

[33:44] And then he turns to Godzilla.

[33:46] I think he maybe even puts his hand on Godzilla's nose.

[33:48] And Godzilla opens his eyes and he's like, goodbye, friend.

[33:50] And then the nuke goes off.

[33:52] And Kyle Chandler is like, hey, you know what?

[33:55] I like Godzilla now.

[33:57] I think it's time for us to team up with him.

[33:59] Oh!

[34:00] So anyway, back to Boston.

[34:02] That's right, Bean Town.

[34:03] It has seen better days.

[34:05] Because King Ghidorah shows up.

[34:07] Maddie pulled off the plan.

[34:08] Ghidorah shows up.

[34:09] Maddie's like, I don't know what the second part of the plan was.

[34:11] And she's running around.

[34:13] Fenway is smashed, which is too bad.

[34:15] Because it's sad to see another historic stadium torn down so they can build what?

[34:19] Some kind of mega mall that happens to have baseball in it?

[34:23] And then name it after a company?

[34:25] Come on.

[34:26] Dan, I know you have strong feelings about this.

[34:29] Is that a reference to things that happen in life?

[34:32] I don't even know.

[34:34] I don't.

[34:35] You're not the baseball fiend I thought you were.

[34:38] We could call David on this.

[34:40] No, we don't need to do that.

[34:42] We could get your brother in.

[34:43] No, that's okay.

[34:44] We'll just move on.

[34:45] Anyway.

[34:46] FaceTime him for the audience.

[34:47] Anyway.

[34:48] No, that's all right.

[34:50] I like what you're leading them up to a thing that's not going to happen.

[34:55] Cheerios, folks!

[34:57] Wouldn't it be amazing if we did FaceTime and he's like, yeah, it happens all the time.

[34:59] B-roll, B-roll, B-roll.

[35:01] It's all ready.

[35:04] I had it queued up just for this call.

[35:07] Like, that's what you spent your honeymoon doing?

[35:10] So, Giger shows up.

[35:12] He's about to electrify Maddie.

[35:15] And I don't mean in an exciting Peter Frampton way.

[35:17] I mean in a, like, shooter with a lightning bolt.

[35:20] But then who comes in to save her?

[35:22] Stealing the Tyrannosaurus Rex's bit.

[35:24] Godzilla.

[35:25] And he's got the American fleet behind him.

[35:28] Oh, no.

[35:29] They got it there real fast.

[35:32] Anyway, it's like Boston's the site of D-Day 2.

[35:35] G-Day.

[35:36] I should have saved G-Day for this time instead of saying it earlier.

[35:39] And the problem is Godzilla, that nuke, he's so pumped up.

[35:42] But he's too pumped up.

[35:43] He's primed to explode like an atom bomb.

[35:45] How do the scientists know this?

[35:46] I don't know.

[35:48] But they even have a timer that tells them how long it's going to be before he blows up.

[35:52] He's all glowy.

[35:53] He's always glowy.

[35:55] I mean, I don't want to go out on a limb here.

[35:57] I'm not a scientist.

[35:59] But I would imagine it has something to do with bioacoustics.

[36:05] Stuart, you make a fair point.

[36:07] The bioacoustics are going crazy.

[36:08] At this point, Godzilla has gone electric, just like Dylan.

[36:11] And the folkies are real mad.

[36:14] They're like, you lie.

[36:15] Yeah, Pete Seeger's like, this is outrageous.

[36:18] Godzilla, you used to be cool.

[36:19] Godzilla steps on him.

[36:22] And then Godzilla's like, which I guess sounds more like Marlon Brando and the Godfather than Bob Dylan.

[36:29] So they start fighting.

[36:33] Mothra and Rodan start fighting.

[36:35] They have a little side bout, I guess, before the main title card.

[36:38] And Rodan's got Mothra on the ropes.

[36:40] Then Mothra kills Rodan with her stinger.

[36:42] And it's like, whoa.

[36:43] And we were like, holy shit.

[36:45] And we're giving each other high fives.

[36:46] And Dan gets up off the floor and starts doing the Charlie Brown.

[36:50] What?

[36:51] I was asleep.

[36:52] I ran out of the hotel, took a few laps around the building, came back up.

[36:55] That's it.

[36:58] Look, let me just say personally, I don't like that Rodan took a real heel turn in this one.

[37:03] Rodan, he'll always be part of the original threesome for me.

[37:06] Godzilla, Mothra, and Rodan, best buds.

[37:09] Not in this movie, though.

[37:10] In this movie, Rodan's a real dick.

[37:12] So Godzilla and King Ghidorah are having this big fight.

[37:16] And this fight is when the movie kind of lives up to its potential for a little bit.

[37:21] They're fighting, and it's really cool.

[37:23] King Ghidorah grabs Godzilla in his talons and flies him into the low Earth orbit?

[37:29] Because then he drops him, and Godzilla is burning upon reentering the atmosphere.

[37:34] It's crazy.

[37:35] But they keep cutting back to the stupid humans so he can find out about their dumb stuff.

[37:40] And Godzilla collapses on the ground after he hits the Earth.

[37:43] And I was really hoping that his old friend Charles Barkley would show up.

[37:48] We talked a little bit about what would be the cooler thing to happen at the end.

[37:51] Would it be if Ash showed up with a Pokeball and was like,

[37:54] Looks like you need a little bit of Jigglypuff.

[37:56] Or would it be Charles Barkley showing up?

[37:59] Would it be like, I don't know, maybe the Planet of the Apes?

[38:01] Apes show up? I don't know.

[38:02] I think when he hits the ground, a cartoon Godzilla ghost should have come up from...

[38:07] Yeah, playing a little harp.

[38:09] And they're like, Godzilla, what a great trick.

[38:11] Yeah, but I can only do it once.

[38:15] That would have been really funny.

[38:16] For some reason, I'm imagining nine ghosts like when a cat dies in a cartoon and has nine lives.

[38:20] Godzilla's got more than nine lives, though, as we'll see.

[38:22] Spoiler alert.

[38:23] So anyway, the Chandler clan is reunited.

[38:25] Wonderful.

[38:26] They fix the Orca monster calling device and Vera sacrifices herself to drive away with it

[38:31] so that she can distract Ghidra long enough for Godzilla to recover.

[38:35] But she gets a super cool last couple words, right?

[38:39] Because Ghidra's like chasing after her and Ghidra's like,

[38:42] I'm gonna lightning slap you, bitch.

[38:44] And she's like, I'm just interpreting what he said in his roar.

[38:47] I don't know. He's a jerk.

[38:48] He uses language like that.

[38:50] And she goes, long live the king.

[38:53] And Elvis himself steps out and hits Ghidra over the head with a guitar.

[38:58] But there's two more heads.

[39:00] Luckily, he's got two more guitars because Jimi Hendrix is right behind him and there's Bob Dylan.

[39:05] I think that might have been when your ayahuasca kicked in.

[39:09] Do you guys remember the part where the great gazoo came in and was like,

[39:12] let's stomp this guy, dum-dums.

[39:17] And then like my third grade teacher was there.

[39:20] And I've learned a lot about myself.

[39:23] I woke up naked in the middle of Boston Common.

[39:27] Just a tricorner hat on your penis.

[39:32] But like a regular size one or a little teeny one?

[39:35] Up to you.

[39:36] A little wig underneath?

[39:37] I mean, I wasn't going to presume about the size of your penis.

[39:43] Moving on.

[39:46] So who shows up?

[39:47] It's Godzilla himself.

[39:48] And he is so super radioactive.

[39:50] He is melting buildings as he passes by.

[39:52] Yeah, he got extra pumped up this time because at the last moment,

[39:56] Mothra sacrificed herself and got blasted by King Ghidorah.

[40:00] And then her Mothra dust fell on Godzilla, I guess and gave him extra power. I think so

[40:06] Yeah, like a one-up much. I was really hoping that a child somewhere would be watching and be like he's getting power from her

[40:12] Duh, I mean it is the most it is the moment the movie that is most accurate to the Japanese

[40:17] Where that kind of stuff would happen?

[40:19] Instead they posited by this point that Mothra is the queen of the monsters to Godzilla's king of the monsters and one of the soldiers

[40:25] Is like so is there something going on between the two of them?

[40:28] And I was like dude get your mind out of the gutter. Come on

[40:31] Let's not think about him that way. It's an honorary title. Come on and again, but it's also one of those things

[40:36] We're like she must be the queen of the monsters to his king of the monsters and it's like these are not the terms

[40:40] They're using to describe themselves

[40:42] Don't put labels on this relationship between a giant moth and a giant radioactive Tyrannosaurus type thing

[40:49] But I guess she likes thicker monsters. No

[40:52] I do. Oh

[40:55] Lordy when he comes running up on King Ghidorah

[40:58] Anyway, Godzilla he unleashes nuclear blast after nuclear blast it melts King Ghidorah like the gremlins at the end of gremlins 2 and then

[41:06] One of Ghidorah's heads start rising up again. Is he back?

[41:09] Nope, Godzilla's just chowing down on it and he vaporizes it through King Ghidorah's throat with his

[41:16] Radioactive fire all the monsters come and bow to Godzilla as he stands atop the ruins of

[41:21] Boston which the ruins look much bigger than a city like Boston would probably create

[41:29] But what are you gonna say about that they had to take a little bit of license because

[41:33] You know if Boston was accurate size Godzilla would just gonna like step on it and not notice and just keep walking

[41:38] Yeah, maybe this posits an alternate world where when monsters showed up Boston just built a lot more buildings

[41:45] So the monsters bow to Godzilla and he roars finally

[41:48] He is undefeated as the king of the monsters or is he because during the credits, this is the craziest part

[41:53] I knew they were gonna set up a King Kong battle

[41:55] Of course they are and there's some headlines on websites that are like monsters head to hollow earth tunnel in skyline

[42:01] Skull Island is a king bigger than a god

[42:04] But they also have headlines that are like monster poop the best fertilizer monster set monster sells a new superfood

[42:11] Yeah, let's grow everywhere 14 species taking off and

[42:15] Rebuilds the Amazon forests. Yeah, it literally

[42:18] Like the entirety of the movie batteries not included where these little space robots help this when these old people save their their building

[42:25] Except the old people are humans and the building is earth, but it was like yeah

[42:29] Wait, so just like Godzilla climb on to a little grill and somebody confuse him with a burger patty

[42:36] Pretty big and a pretty big piece of cheese to throw in Godzilla. Anyway, I guess we're the only ones remember batteries not included

[42:43] Nobody else here likes the later works of Don Ameche

[42:46] Yes, I won't start talking about Karina Karina

[42:48] Anyway, so but it's it it posits that the monsters will really solve every single environmental problem

[42:54] We have and then Kong battle is teased credits and at the end of the credits. Oh

[43:00] Charles dance he didn't die in this one and he's brought to

[43:03] Somewhere an underground warehouse, I don't know where they've got one of Ghidorah's heads. Oh

[43:09] Something tells me we might see a mecha Ghidorah at some point and if we don't fuck this movie

[43:17] Tease me that way

[43:19] All right, really really really?

[43:22] Really fast final judgments. This is a good bad movie a bad bad movie movie kind of like Elliot go I

[43:27] Did not like it. I thought was a bad man. Well, cuz it's just like it's a boring movie

[43:31] It doesn't want to give me monsters and I want monsters from my monster movie

[43:33] Yeah

[43:34] I'm gonna say it's bad bad to the way you explained it even with all your like weird digressions

[43:39] That's not actually seeing the movie was much clearer than the actual plot of the movie

[43:44] I cut out a lot of the scenes where people talk around fake science stuff and Bradley Whitford's like making jokes about nothing in particular

[43:50] Yeah, it's just real dull Elliot or Elliot Stewart

[43:55] What Elliot I'm tell it

[43:59] You know

[44:01] I've gone on record saying I'm like a big Godzilla, you know, like I like one with a lot of meat on his bones

[44:08] but

[44:09] this movie not so much this movie could have lost a little bit of meat because I feel like if you edit it out maybe

[44:15] An hour of it and it was mainly just monster fights. I'd be down

[44:19] So bad movie. All right

[44:23] Does

[44:26] Our podcast deep dive into the weirdest Wikipedia pages we can find yes

[44:31] Do we learn about scam artists remote islands horrible mascots beautiful diseases and mythical monsters? Yes

[44:37] Yes, yes, absolutely. And yes, do we retain any of this knowledge?

[44:42] I'm Emily Heller. I'm Lisa Hannah Walt

[44:45] We make art and comedy and TV shows and also the podcast baby geniuses for the past eight years

[44:50] We've been trying to learn new things about the world and each other every episode

[44:54] Well, let's be honest. This podcast is mostly about two friends hanging out shooting the breeze and making each other laugh

[44:59] We're horny. We like gardening and horses and we get real stupid on here like in a smart way

[45:05] Yeah, join us every other week on maximum fun

[45:14] Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor judge John Hodgman ruled in my friends favor judge

[45:19] John Hodgman ruled in my favor. I'm judge John Hodgman

[45:23] You're hearing the voices of real litigants real people who have submitted disputes to my internet court at the judge John Hodgman podcast

[45:31] I hear their cases. I ask them questions. They're good ones. And then I tell them who's right and who's wrong

[45:36] Thanks to judge John Hodgman's ruling

[45:38] My dad has been forced to retire one of the worst dad jokes of all time

[45:43] Instead of cutting his own hair with a flow be my husband has his hair cut professionally

[45:49] I have to join a community theater group and my wife has stopped bringing home wild animals

[45:53] It's the judge John Hodgman podcast find it every Wednesday at maximum fun org or wherever you download podcasts

[46:03] Thanks judge John Hodgman

[46:08] Hey everyone hoping that you're enjoying this live Godzilla show

[46:15] The second show along with Alita battle angel from our double show in Boston

[46:21] Both of them very good. We miss doing these shows dearly. We hope to have

[46:27] The chance to get back on the road sometime soon

[46:31] but

[46:32] Since this is a live show, you know what? That means a solo ad read and the first

[46:38] sponsor of the show is

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[47:43] Make it a destination, you know, make it special make it real nice for everyone

[47:48] Hey, we're also sponsored by the kitty poo Club the kitty poo Club

[47:55] Who is giving us money to make me say kitty poo Club?

[47:58] Are you a proud cat person like I am you love your cat?

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[49:24] Flop at check I at checkout not check ite to help support our

[49:30] show

[49:32] We have a couple of jumbo trom troms here jumbo troms

[49:37] that

[49:39] Yeah, Tron the movie Tron was angry. They were gonna sue us for a copyright infringement

[49:45] So now we're jumbo troms

[49:48] a longtime flopper first-time Tron er Ben Carter with a dumb

[49:53] Jumbotron asking Flophouse nation to support the Kentucky Equal Justice Center. It's

[50:00] Righteous Org, working to make sure everyone, black, brown, or white, has the health care,

[50:05] housing, and money they need to thrive.

[50:08] Floppers love horror, and K.E.J.C. fights actual horrors like poverty, racism, evictions,

[50:15] gerrymandering, and zombie debt collection.

[50:19] That's legit what it's called.

[50:21] Help K.E.J.C. keep the horror where it belongs in Shocktober.

[50:27] And you can donate to the Kentucky Equal Justice Center at bit.ly slash Dumbotron.

[50:36] That is Dumbo like the elephant.

[50:40] What a nice Jumbotron to help the world.

[50:44] This message is for JoJo.

[50:48] It is from Justine.

[50:51] And Justine says to JoJo, happy birthday, little brother.

[50:55] Here's to the world's greatest 37-year-old man trapped in the body of a 26-year-old boy.

[51:02] My gift to you is hearing happy birthday from the mouths of three gentlemen, well,

[51:06] one, who might actually have chuckled at your proposal to name a new truck Allen Truck.

[51:13] Keep being my favorite, also only, brother.

[51:16] Love, Teenie.

[51:17] I would have chuckled at Allen Truck.

[51:20] Thank you for sharing it.

[51:21] Um, that's all before we get back to the live show.

[51:25] Uh, I hope that we will have something to announce about a virtual live show soon.

[51:31] Uh, but as of this moment, we rejoin ourselves in Boston.

[51:39] We like to close out these shows with a little bit of audience questions.

[51:45] And we asked, was that a question?

[51:48] Yes, we do.

[51:49] We've got, uh, let's, let's say around 12 minutes.

[51:51] There's a microphone right there.

[51:52] We can't answer too many questions.

[51:54] We'll try.

[51:54] We got to make these questions fast and furious.

[51:57] Another reference to Stuart's presentation from earlier.

[51:59] Bless you.

[52:02] Godzilla bless me.

[52:05] Hey, guys.

[52:06] Hello.

[52:07] Uh, so if, uh, if you guys were Kaiju, which would, who would you be?

[52:12] Well, I would obviously be Gamera because I'm a friend of children everywhere.

[52:18] I mean, I want to do a lot of cool spin attacks and you can flame out of your leg holes.

[52:26] I want to believe I'd be Godzilla, but I'd be probably one of the awkward ones.

[52:28] Like Megalon can't really do anything.

[52:32] Look, uh, I've always had a fondness for Mothra.

[52:35] I know she's supposedly the queen of the monsters.

[52:38] I don't care.

[52:38] I'm not gonna like box myself in that way.

[52:41] Elliot.

[52:41] Uh-huh.

[52:42] And I mean, I think it also makes sense because, uh, of the way that you react to the Mothra song.

[52:48] Yeah.

[52:49] Dan, every time I sing it, it's like, you can't, you can't help it.

[52:52] I think it might be a hate crime.

[52:53] So that's why I don't like it.

[52:56] I'm not sure.

[52:57] I just, uh, all right.

[52:58] Next question.

[53:00] Lyman.

[53:01] Oh, shoot.

[53:02] That's too obvious.

[53:02] Sorry.

[53:03] L it's okay.

[53:06] Okay.

[53:06] Anyway, um, I have a, uh, this movie features a lot of like flying monsters.

[53:12] A lot of flying monsters.

[53:13] Yeah.

[53:14] And like, that's impossible, right?

[53:15] Like the biggest birds weigh like under 20 pounds.

[53:17] So what I want to know is like, uh, are there any movies out there that actually

[53:22] feature like realistic physics kind of about like giant monsters?

[53:26] Any giant monster movies that feature realistic physics?

[53:29] I would take issue with the 20 pound limit you're setting on flying animals.

[53:33] Quetzalcoatl anyone?

[53:34] Thank you.

[53:34] Anyway.

[53:35] Okay.

[53:35] So, but, uh, but he had hollow bones.

[53:38] Uh, that's how he stayed so thin no matter what he ate.

[53:41] Uh, I don't realistic.

[53:44] I mean, uh, any monster that big would probably collapse under its own weight.

[53:49] At a certain point, they're literally thousands of feet tall and they're radioactive.

[53:53] So their cells are deteriorating rapidly.

[53:56] It doesn't make you stronger.

[53:58] What about like, not like the whole kid, the blob, when the blob gets really big,

[54:02] because it's like just a blob.

[54:05] And I guess, yeah, I guess the blob is just a blob.

[54:09] It's all, I think I'm going to call that McCoy's theorem.

[54:15] Next question.

[54:17] Hi, Mike.

[54:17] Last name withheld.

[54:18] Hey, Mike, if you were not in the flop house, God forbid, and you were at,

[54:25] and you were at one of your own live shows, what question would you ask yourselves?

[54:30] What question would we ask ourselves?

[54:32] If we were not in the flop house at a flop house live show,

[54:35] I'd be like, Dan, why'd you kick me out of the flop house?

[54:40] Like, my question would be, how dare you, sir?

[54:44] How dare you, sir?

[54:49] I would say, hey, guys,

[54:54] if you had a stand from the comic book series JoJo's Bizarre Adventure,

[55:02] which of the major arcana of the tarot would you choose?

[55:06] And what colors would you use?

[55:09] I await my answer.

[55:13] Next question, please.

[55:17] Sam, last name withheld.

[55:19] Fuck, marry, kill, Godzilla, Ghidorah, and America's sweetheart, Kyle Chandler.

[55:26] Oh, okay.

[55:26] Fuck, marry, kill, Kyle Chandler.

[55:28] That's crazy.

[55:29] You marry Kyle Chandler.

[55:32] He's such a good coach.

[55:34] I mean, this is a weird, like, okay, can we all talk about fuck, marry, kill for a second?

[55:39] Dan, if you're going to question the premise of something that is,

[55:41] obviously, we don't want to kill these people.

[55:43] Come on.

[55:44] Dan, are you going to take a brave stand against this thing nobody really wants to do?

[55:49] Look, I'm just saying, hold on.

[55:52] This whole game posits a Lockhorn-style world where marrying someone means the death of sex.

[56:00] No, I don't think that's it at all.

[56:04] Who is the person that you want to be with all the time and have sex with all the time?

[56:07] Who's the person you just want to do it once because the story is going to be nuts?

[56:11] And for me, that would be King Ghidorah.

[56:12] That's right.

[56:15] I would marry Godzilla.

[56:16] Kyle Chandler, I'm sorry.

[56:19] I don't have anything against you, but you just didn't make the cut.

[56:21] I'm a G fan.

[56:22] Come on.

[56:23] I'm not a Friday FNL fan, Friday Night Lights.

[56:28] Not the same degree.

[56:30] You're saying you have, wait, closed eyes and wait.

[56:35] Yeah, my heart is empty.

[56:37] Empty heart and I always lose.

[56:40] Did it.

[56:41] Oh, man, smoke's coming out of my ears.

[56:45] Okay, next question.

[56:46] You're very good with antonyms, Stuart.

[56:50] Hi, I'm Jake.

[56:52] A couple years ago, I sent you guys a letter asking you about the machete order for the

[56:56] Fast and the Furious.

[56:57] You never actually answered the question.

[57:00] That's not why I'm here.

[57:01] Oh, thank God.

[57:03] I was worried for a second.

[57:04] Thank God.

[57:05] I was like, how'd it end?

[57:07] So, well, I've got a machete for you.

[57:09] Shing.

[57:10] So a few years before that, a friend of mine showed me a movie called The Zero Effect.

[57:15] And we said, oh, yeah, yeah.

[57:17] And he was like, if you don't laugh at this one particular moment, I know that you're

[57:21] not going to enjoy the rest of the movie.

[57:22] It was when Ben Stiller was unlocking locks for like 10 or 15 minutes of the movie.

[57:28] So have you ever shown a movie to someone when you sat them down?

[57:31] You're like, I know you're not going to have fun with this if you don't have fun with this

[57:35] particular moment.

[57:35] And what is that moment?

[57:37] A movie where you show it to somebody else and you know, if they're not going to like

[57:40] this moment, they're not going to like the whole movie.

[57:44] You sit down someone and you say, you're going to watch the last half hour of Mother.

[57:47] And if you don't like it, let's not watch the first hour and a half because this movie

[57:52] is not going to a place you want to go.

[57:55] I remember right after college, sitting down with my ex-girlfriend's dad and pulling out

[58:02] a recently purchased copy of the DVD of Blade 2.

[58:07] And I'm like, like, if he's not into this opening, I don't think he's going to like

[58:11] the rest of it.

[58:12] And that was really true.

[58:15] But I liked it.

[58:17] Uh, I mean, I know that we go, he's more of a Blade 1 guy.

[58:21] I know that we go to the Gremlins 2 well a lot, but if you don't like the fact that the

[58:26] movie begins with Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck fighting over the Warner Brothers logo, you're

[58:31] not going to shoot it.

[58:32] If you're like, what the?

[58:32] I thought it was a Gremlins movie.

[58:34] Then show them the door.

[58:38] That's a good point.

[58:38] Okay.

[58:39] Next question, please.

[58:39] Hi, Michelle.

[58:40] Last name, Botheld.

[58:41] I need help settling an argument.

[58:44] Who would win in a fight?

[58:45] Godzilla or Superman?

[58:47] Who would want to fight Godzilla or Superman?

[58:49] Oh, are we talking pre-crisis or post-crisis Superman?

[58:53] I'm just going to leave now.

[58:55] Because pre-crisis Superman could move a planet.

[58:58] But post-crisis, John Byrne was like, let's depower him a little bit.

[59:01] Here's the, I think, ooh, probably Superman.

[59:04] Because he'd fly him into space and hurl him in the sun.

[59:06] But here's the story I want to tell.

[59:08] And I always wanted to tell it.

[59:09] I always want to tell it in a sad way that they, Godzilla's destroying the city and they

[59:14] enlist Dracula and he bites Godzilla, turning Godzilla into a vampire.

[59:18] So the sun destroys him.

[59:19] But the radiation from Godzilla's blood kills Dracula and they build a statue to him.

[59:24] Because he sacrificed himself to save humanity.

[59:27] So, Stuart, who do you think would win, Godzilla or Superman?

[59:30] Dracula?

[59:34] Hey, guys, I just wanted to see what's going on this side of the room.

[59:36] Oh, Dan has gone to the other side of the room.

[59:39] Oh, OK.

[59:39] Are you done?

[59:40] Do you have an answer to the question?

[59:41] No.

[59:42] OK, let's move to the next question then.

[59:44] I think Dan's Superman knowledge begins and ends with Lois and Clark.

[59:49] Of which, Godzilla never appeared.

[59:51] No, that's true.

[59:52] Well, hey, Tony, last name withheld.

[59:57] Hello.

[59:57] I know Elliot likes fried chicken.

[1:00:00] You know it, you just said.

[1:00:02] So I was wondering which kaiju would you like to eat

[1:00:04] and how would you prepare them?

[1:00:05] Oh man, what kaiju would I like to eat

[1:00:08] and how I would prepare it?

[1:00:10] Well, let's say fried, come on.

[1:00:12] You gotta go with Rodan, because he's a big bird.

[1:00:15] It's the biggest fried chicken ever.

[1:00:17] Although he might be too spicy for you,

[1:00:19] because he's like a fire bird.

[1:00:21] Yeah, that's true, and I prefer mild to spicy.

[1:00:23] Also, you know what, I'd take Angirus

[1:00:26] and I would just cook the ribs, barbecue them,

[1:00:28] because he's got big ribs, yeah, sure.

[1:00:31] How long do you think it would take you

[1:00:32] to skeletonize a kaiju, Elliot?

[1:00:34] To skeletonize?

[1:00:35] Yeah.

[1:00:36] I mean, more than I have time on this earth, Dan, probably.

[1:00:40] I mean, which kaiju are we talking about, though?

[1:00:41] Because there's some are bigger than others.

[1:00:42] Like, because Eberra, crack him open.

[1:00:45] I mean, he's not a skeleton, he's exoskeleton, I guess.

[1:00:46] That was a bad choice.

[1:00:48] He looks like an asshole.

[1:00:49] What about Spydor, the giant,

[1:00:50] no, but he's, again, exoskeleton, okay.

[1:00:52] Or Spydor.

[1:00:53] We're wasting everyone's time, please.

[1:00:55] Hi, Hollis, last name withheld.

[1:00:57] I would like to play Radio Zork.

[1:00:59] Oh, okay.

[1:01:00] Someone would like to step up and try their hand

[1:01:02] at Radio Zork, everyone's favorite text-based radio call-in

[1:01:07] choose-your-own-adventure show, yeah, please.

[1:01:09] I would like to scream, just for like a while.

[1:01:12] Okay, you scream at the door for a while.

[1:01:16] Time passes.

[1:01:18] Your throat becomes hoarse.

[1:01:21] There is no answer.

[1:01:22] Thank you.

[1:01:23] The door remains closed.

[1:01:23] Thank you for playing, that's Radio Zork.

[1:01:25] I gotta tell you, not a bad strategy.

[1:01:29] Oh, no.

[1:01:30] One of these days, someone's gonna get that dang door open

[1:01:32] and we're gonna start this adventure.

[1:01:33] Yeah.

[1:01:35] Josh, last name withheld.

[1:01:37] My friend is, unfortunately,

[1:01:39] he was going to be here tonight, but he can't be.

[1:01:41] He is moving from Medford to Maryland for a job,

[1:01:44] and Elliot, specifically, could you give him

[1:01:47] a piece of advice for someone

[1:01:49] who had to move locationally recently?

[1:01:52] Oh, okay, yeah.

[1:01:54] Move locationally, virtually?

[1:01:56] I guess temporally, as we're all doing.

[1:01:58] Yeah, we all move through our lives, you know?

[1:02:00] Yeah.

[1:02:02] Islands in the stream, I call us.

[1:02:05] Advice for someone moving temporally.

[1:02:06] Here's the thing, as an adult,

[1:02:08] it's hard to make friends without seeming creepy,

[1:02:10] and especially when you're in a new place,

[1:02:12] but you gotta push through that,

[1:02:14] because without a local social network,

[1:02:16] you're gonna feel isolated,

[1:02:17] and you're gonna start thinking you don't like it there,

[1:02:19] when really, you just don't like being by yourself, probably.

[1:02:22] So, reach out to people you work with,

[1:02:24] or, if there's a local club that does things you like,

[1:02:27] rocketry, chess, make sure it's an adult club,

[1:02:29] not a kid's club, but like,

[1:02:32] What about the Burger King kid's club?

[1:02:33] That's just what I was gonna say.

[1:02:34] That's okay for everybody,

[1:02:35] because we're all kids when we're at Burger King,

[1:02:37] where a kid can be a kid, right?

[1:02:39] That's our Burger King slogan.

[1:02:42] Don't look at me.

[1:02:44] So that's what I would say, good question,

[1:02:45] and good answer, thank you.

[1:02:46] Next question, please.

[1:02:47] Wait, wait, hold on,

[1:02:48] does the Burger King slogan have it your way?

[1:02:50] The Burger King slogan does have it my way.

[1:02:52] Because that kid seemed very angry,

[1:02:53] like, I have it your way.

[1:02:55] It's a passive-aggressive slogan, yeah.

[1:02:58] We made these choices for a reason

[1:02:59] about what we put on a burger, but sure.

[1:03:01] Have it your way.

[1:03:02] Have it your way.

[1:03:03] It's a Burger King world, you're just living in it.

[1:03:07] Is that one?

[1:03:08] Yeah.

[1:03:09] Godzilla, Burger King of the monsters.

[1:03:13] Next question, please, the penultimate question.

[1:03:16] So, a friend of mine, seven-year-old, saw this movie,

[1:03:19] and I asked him what he thought of it,

[1:03:21] and he said it was the best movie he had ever seen.

[1:03:24] And I thought.

[1:03:24] I mean, to be fair, if I saw this when I was seven,

[1:03:27] it probably also would have been the best movie I ever saw.

[1:03:29] Right, I mean, I was thinking if someone asked me that

[1:03:32] when I was seven, I probably would have said

[1:03:33] The Cat from Outer Space.

[1:03:35] But I was wondering.

[1:03:37] Oh, what about Seven Samurai, dude?

[1:03:41] I mean, it has seven.

[1:03:42] I'm just thinking of, like, shitty things.

[1:03:43] Okay, I'll shut up.

[1:03:44] I mean, when I was seven, Videodrome was really big.

[1:03:47] Anyway, you're saying?

[1:03:48] Just wondering, you know, if someone had asked you guys

[1:03:51] when you were seven, what the best movie you ever saw was.

[1:03:53] If someone asked us when we were seven

[1:03:55] what the best movie we ever saw was.

[1:03:57] I think mine would have been Beastmaster.

[1:04:00] It's a good one.

[1:04:01] Similar, I think.

[1:04:02] A lot of ferrets.

[1:04:03] Got a couple of ferrets in it.

[1:04:04] The FQ is very high in that movie, yeah.

[1:04:07] I would have said, and this is gonna shock Dan McCoy,

[1:04:10] who was loudly telling me earlier

[1:04:11] this movie does not work, Dark Crystal,

[1:04:14] a movie I still love.

[1:04:14] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's be clear.

[1:04:17] I think the movie is beautiful.

[1:04:19] I love Jim Henson and all he did.

[1:04:21] I think that it's an amazing work of imagination.

[1:04:24] Sensinal.

[1:04:25] But the Brian Froud designs are great.

[1:04:27] I just think that narratively, as a piece of drama,

[1:04:31] it's kind of boring.

[1:04:32] Continue.

[1:04:33] My seven-year-old self and my 37-year-old self

[1:04:36] would disagree, but that's okay.

[1:04:38] We live in America.

[1:04:39] Everyone can have different opinions about Dark Crystal

[1:04:41] or whether they need more information

[1:04:43] from Alita Battle Angel.

[1:04:44] A little reference when you hear that episode.

[1:04:46] Stuart, what would you say?

[1:04:48] Maybe Ski Patrol?

[1:04:52] It's about some people who work for a ski patrol

[1:04:54] and they get into trouble.

[1:04:59] All right, last question.

[1:05:00] Last question.

[1:05:01] Better be about Ski Patrol.

[1:05:04] Hi, I'm Jack, last name withheld.

[1:05:06] Dan, in a previous episode,

[1:05:08] I think it was the Robin Hood episode.

[1:05:10] Beat to the fire, Dan McCoy.

[1:05:12] Yeah.

[1:05:13] I'm scared for a couple reasons.

[1:05:15] Number one, I don't know where this is going.

[1:05:16] Number two, this man is far too handsome

[1:05:18] to be a podcast fan, so thank you.

[1:05:21] Dan, why are you insulting everyone else

[1:05:24] in the audience, Dan?

[1:05:26] Just to suck up to the stranger.

[1:05:28] Dan, this is like, it was announced

[1:05:32] we were on a new podcast streaming service.

[1:05:36] We were newly on an old podcast streaming service,

[1:05:38] and Dan was like, we're on this service now.

[1:05:40] We used to not like them, but now they're okay.

[1:05:43] Dan, you don't need to say everything.

[1:05:46] That's a me.

[1:05:48] I go on, sir.

[1:05:49] Handsome question asker, what did Dan say

[1:05:51] that you either want to know more about or attack him for?

[1:05:53] He's not gonna like this, but he referred to himself

[1:05:57] as chaotic good because he liked watching porn on airplanes.

[1:06:05] I don't recall that.

[1:06:05] Well, I have to assume there's some context

[1:06:08] that made more sense.

[1:06:09] I'm sorry, I changed that up a little bit.

[1:06:11] Nude scenes on airplanes, but continue.

[1:06:14] I think we'll have to consult the record at some point.

[1:06:17] I do not watch porn on airplanes.

[1:06:21] No one report me.

[1:06:22] I don't want to have to go.

[1:06:23] I mean, it's all, it's art.

[1:06:26] The Dan character, maybe.

[1:06:29] I don't know.

[1:06:30] Sorry, go on.

[1:06:31] But on the lawful, chaotic, good, bad axis,

[1:06:35] where would you, Elliot and Stuart, put yourselves

[1:06:37] and maybe some other Flophouse favorites

[1:06:40] like the house cat or crawdaddy?

[1:06:43] Well, the house cat is obviously true neutral.

[1:06:48] You can never, he goes where the wind takes him.

[1:06:52] I'm probably lawful good, you know.

[1:06:54] I follow the rules, pay my taxes, comb my hair.

[1:06:59] Hey, do you?

[1:07:01] Shut the fuck up.

[1:07:03] What are you, a cop?

[1:07:08] I'm probably annoying good.

[1:07:11] I think that's probably my status.

[1:07:13] And crawdaddy, when he was young, he was chaotic good.

[1:07:15] But now, I know when you're living

[1:07:17] in a Connecticut suburb and there's,

[1:07:22] you put up a basketball hoop in the driveway

[1:07:24] and they tell you to take it down

[1:07:26] because it's against the neighborhood regulations.

[1:07:30] Back in the bayou, you'd shoot that man.

[1:07:34] But here in the nutmeg state, we take down the hoop.

[1:07:36] So now he's lawful good, so.

[1:07:39] I can't think of a better way to end

[1:07:41] than with the appearance of the most popular thing

[1:07:44] on our show, crawdaddy.

[1:07:47] Thank you so much for sticking around for a late show.

[1:07:49] Thank you to City Space.

[1:07:54] Thank you, Boston.

[1:07:55] Thank you to the Boston area.

[1:07:57] For the Flophouse.

[1:07:58] We usually would hang out, we can't, it's a late show.

[1:08:01] But thank you for coming.

[1:08:02] For the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:08:04] I've been Shore Wellington.

[1:08:06] I'm Ellie Kalin, thank you.

[1:08:08] Thank you so much for being here.

[1:08:11] It's kind of a disappointment, but, um.

[1:08:22] Okay.

[1:08:29] You see, on this episode, we talked about.

[1:08:36] Maximumfund.org, comedy and culture.

[1:08:41] Artist owned, audience supported.

Ep. #329 - Godzilla: King of the Monsters LIVE

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