Ep. #331 - Six Weeks, with Alonso Duralde

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode we discuss six weeks.

Stuart Wellington

[0:03] It's been six weeks since you met that kid.

[0:05] Cocked your head to the side and said you're Dudley.

[0:08] I don't know the rest of the lyrics.

Dan McCoy

[0:12] Like those are the real lyrics.

Stuart Wellington

[0:15] That's what it says on my phone.

[0:16] The rest.

[0:30] Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[0:45] I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[0:46] Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:49] Certified beef seven days a week.

[0:51] That's me, Stuart Wellington.

[0:54] What does that mean, Stuart?

[0:56] That I'm certified grade A beef?

[0:58] I don't know.

[1:00] That like a guy came and checked my marbling.

[1:02] Is this your new slogan?

[1:03] You're branding yourself?

[1:04] Yeah, I mean, I think it's the right time, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:07] I mean, what I like about it is your beef, you don't take any time off.

[1:11] You're not like lazy god taking Sundays off from creating the universe.

[1:14] You're like, I'm beef all the time.

[1:15] I never stop being beef.

[1:17] Seven days a week, 23 hours a day.

[1:20] Unlike the beef you buy at the grocery store,

[1:22] the beef at the grocery store, as soon as midnight hits on Sunday,

[1:24] it turns into a pumpkin.

[1:25] No thank you.

[1:26] I want my beef seven days a week.

Dan McCoy

[1:29] Yeah.

[1:29] Well, that's the exact opposite of what I was going to say,

[1:32] which is that, to be fair, all beef is beef seven days a week.

[1:36] So to elevate it above God just because God took a day off after creating the universe

[1:41] seems a little strange.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43] I mean, to be honest, he did a pretty slapdash job.

[1:46] I think we can all agree the universe has a lot of rough edges.

[1:49] Hey, my name's Elliot Kalen,

[1:50] but I want to introduce our big guest today,

[1:52] who I'm very excited about.

[1:54] Our guest is a film critic and a writer.

[1:56] He writes reviews for The Wrap.

[1:58] He co-hosts a number of great movie podcasts,

[2:00] Linoleum Knife,

[2:01] A Film and a Movie,

[2:02] Breakfast All Day,

[2:03] and Maximum Fun's Own.

[2:06] Not Maximum Fun's Own.

[2:07] Maximum Fun's Own,

[2:08] Who Shot Ya?

[2:09] And he's the author of the classic Christmas film guide,

[2:12] Have Yourself a Movie Little Christmas.

[2:14] It's Alonzo Duralde or Duralde?

[2:16] I always forget.

Alonso Duralde

[2:18] I answered it either.

[2:19] Duralde is fine.

[2:20] But which do you use?

[2:21] Yeah.

[2:22] I usually say Duralde.

[2:24] Technically, it's Duralde,

[2:25] but I never want to make white guys sound like they're saying Nicaragua.

[2:28] So, you know, Duralde is fine.

Elliott Kalan

[2:30] Okay.

[2:31] Thank you,

[2:31] because I was having some empanadas for lunch,

[2:34] and my son kidding.

[2:36] And I had a croissant.

[2:39] It's the same thing, right?

[2:40] And then I decided to have a big bowl of borscht.

[2:43] Yeah.

[2:43] Wow.

[2:44] Dan, what foreign foods do you want to do the accents for?

Dan McCoy

[2:48] I'm uncomfortable with the whole thing.

[2:50] Hey, so...

Elliott Kalan

[2:50] I was having some sushi.

[2:53] Aye, aye, aye.

[2:54] No.

[2:54] Right?

[2:55] No.

Dan McCoy

[2:56] What was that?

[2:57] Like a Spanish thing?

Elliott Kalan

[2:58] Och, och, och, me laddie.

[3:00] It's some spaghetti and meatballs.

[3:01] Oh, wow.

[3:02] That's how you do it, right?

[3:03] I like that one.

[3:04] But Alonzo Duralde,

[3:06] and I'm very excited to have him here.

[3:09] One, because he's great,

[3:10] and I'm a big fan of his podcast.

[3:12] Two, he's just a super great guy

[3:13] and a really nice guy.

[3:14] When I first moved to Los Angeles,

[3:16] he took me to get ice cream,

[3:17] just me and him,

[3:18] and it was very sweet,

[3:19] and it was a great way to welcome me to a new city.

[3:21] And three,

[3:22] because it's Christmas time, everybody, right?

[3:25] So who better to talk Christmas movies

[3:26] and Christmas stuff

[3:27] than the man who literally wrote the book

[3:29] on Christmas movies?

Dan McCoy

[3:31] Yeah, although we asked,

[3:32] you know,

[3:32] we asked for a couple options of holiday movies,

[3:35] and look,

[3:36] I'll take a little bit of the blame on myself.

[3:41] Okay.

[3:41] And I said,

[3:42] oh, six weeks,

[3:43] like a Dudley Moore movie from the 80s.

[3:46] Let's do that.

[3:46] That'll be dumb.

[3:47] Thinking that'll be like a dumb,

[3:49] like Christmas comedy,

[3:51] not doing any research into it.

[3:53] And then to find that this holiday movie,

[3:56] this so-called holiday movie,

[3:57] is only a holiday movie

[3:58] in that the Nutcracker Ballet figures

[4:01] into the plot at the very end.

[4:03] And otherwise,

[4:04] it's a tearjerker

[4:05] about a young girl dying of leukemia.

[4:07] So also-

[4:08] If it had been Swan Lake,

[4:09] it could be a summer movie

[4:10] and no one would get it.

[4:11] Exactly.

[4:11] And to that end,

[4:13] also, yes,

[4:13] content warning of this movie

[4:15] that we're doing

[4:16] is all about a child dying of a disease.

[4:17] So if that is something

[4:18] you're assistive to-

Stuart Wellington

[4:19] It is barely window dressing, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[4:22] I would say it is all about

[4:25] midlife romance

[4:26] between a woman

[4:27] with a very ill-considered perm

[4:29] and a very short man

[4:30] who is an American politician

[4:31] despite obviously being English.

[4:33] This, I mean-

[4:34] That is all well and good.

Dan McCoy

[4:35] That is all well and good

[4:36] and it may be accurate,

[4:37] but if you are sensitive

[4:38] to the idea of a child dying of a disease,

[4:40] it does not matter

[4:41] the degree to which

[4:43] the film is about that.

[4:44] You're right.

[4:44] Okay.

Alonso Duralde

[4:45] We will take that about as seriously

[4:47] as the film.

[4:48] Oh.

[4:48] Yeah, which is not very.

Dan McCoy

[4:50] There's something to make clear

[4:52] that if we make fun of it,

[4:54] it is only because

[4:54] it is a maudlin melodrama

[4:57] and not because-

Alonso Duralde

[4:58] Not because the idea of a child

[5:00] with a terminal disease

[5:01] is hilarious.

[5:01] No, no.

[5:03] So, only in the context of six weeks.

Stuart Wellington

[5:05] So, Alonzo,

[5:06] why did you pick this movie?

[5:07] Are you a huge

[5:08] Dudley Tyler Moore fan?

[5:10] That's their couple name, right?

Alonso Duralde

[5:13] It should be.

[5:14] They would have been portmanteau

[5:15] if anyone had seen this movie.

[5:17] Yeah, you know,

[5:18] there are some Christmas bombs

[5:20] out there certainly

[5:21] and I didn't want to suggest

[5:23] you to something like-

[5:24] Or was it Vietnam?

[5:25] Say what now?

Elliott Kalan

[5:25] The Christmas bombing in,

Alonso Duralde

[5:26] was it Cambodia or Vietnam?

[5:27] Oh, God.

[5:28] Very nice.

[5:28] I believe it was Cambodia.

[5:29] Yeah.

[5:30] Yeah.

[5:31] Way to bring the room down.

[5:32] You mentioned Christmas bombs.

Elliott Kalan

[5:34] It's the most obvious Christmas bomb.

[5:36] They were really dropping bombs

[5:37] on Christmas.

[5:38] But anyway,

[5:38] you were saying this.

[5:38] Technically correct.

[5:39] Yeah.

Alonso Duralde

[5:39] Well, yeah,

[5:40] I think Henry Kissinger

[5:41] may have also been responsible

[5:42] for the Nutcracker 3D

[5:44] where they put hip hop lyrics

[5:45] onto Tchaikovsky

[5:46] and work in Holocaust metaphors

[5:49] and Nathan Lane plays Albert Einstein.

[5:52] And I was like,

[5:52] I'm not going to-

[5:53] We're not doing that.

[5:54] We're not doing that.

[5:55] Yeah.

[5:55] But I did toss a couple out

[5:58] and I just thought that

[5:58] Six Weeks is just-

[6:01] It's a flop in so many ways

[6:03] because not just critically

[6:04] and with audiences,

[6:06] but it's one of those movies

[6:07] that derailed people's careers.

[6:09] Like Dudley Moore,

[6:10] hot off Arthur.

[6:11] Mary Tyler Moore,

[6:12] hot off Ordinary People.

[6:14] Tony Bill, the director,

[6:15] hot off My Bodyguard.

[6:17] And this collectively did

[6:19] for their careers

[6:20] what moment by moment

[6:22] did for Lily Tomlin

[6:23] and John Travolta.

[6:24] So-

Elliott Kalan

[6:24] It launched them to new heights.

[6:26] Took them into the stratosphere

Dan McCoy

[6:27] is what you're saying.

[6:28] I mean, it is such a huge bomb

[6:30] that despite having,

[6:31] at the time,

[6:33] big stars

[6:34] and it being clearly,

[6:35] you know,

[6:36] like a Hollywood produced picture,

[6:39] I had never heard of it.

[6:42] And if you go to like IMDb,

[6:45] I believe there's like,

[6:47] two reviews you can find

[6:48] from non-professional reviewers

[6:50] and maybe like five

[6:51] from professionals.

Stuart Wellington

[6:52] If you type in six weeks

[6:53] into IMDb,

[6:54] they're like,

[6:55] not found.

[6:56] And you're like,

[6:57] uh,

[6:57] I don't know what

[6:59] you're talking about.

[6:59] Oh, that one.

[7:00] Do you mean two weeks

Elliott Kalan

[7:01] starring Buster Keaton?

[7:03] No, no, no.

[7:03] That's not the one.

Dan McCoy

[7:05] Alonzo,

[7:05] I want to ask you

[7:06] about Dudley Moore

[7:08] because here's the thing.

[7:10] So I-

[7:11] Since you are

[7:12] Dudley Moore's

[7:12] authorized biographer,

[7:14] you're the man to go to.

[7:15] I think in terms of,

[7:18] uh,

[7:19] just acting,

[7:20] like Dudley Moore

[7:21] gives the best

[7:22] straight acting performance

[7:23] in this film.

[7:25] But like,

[7:26] let us,

[7:26] let us stipulate

[7:27] that I did say

[7:28] straight acting performance

[7:29] as opposed to

[7:30] a comedy performance.

[7:32] I,

[7:33] you are about,

[7:34] uh,

[7:35] 10 years older

[7:35] than I am.

[7:37] Wow.

[7:37] So you lived through

[7:39] more of the

[7:39] Dudley Moore boom

[7:41] than I did.

[7:42] Can you explain to me

[7:44] why he was funny?

[7:45] Because I've never

[7:46] understood it.

Alonso Duralde

[7:48] There was a,

[7:49] there was this magic

[7:49] snapshot of time

[7:51] in which,

[7:52] uh,

[7:52] you could make

[7:53] the original Arthur

[7:54] that was all about

[7:55] a total alcoholic

[7:57] and it was still

Stuart Wellington

[7:58] somehow charming

[7:59] and funny.

[7:59] And asshole.

[8:00] He's an asshole.

Alonso Duralde

[8:02] And asshole.

[8:02] He is also.

[8:03] And super,

[8:04] super rich.

[8:04] And the movie 10

[8:05] where he's just like

Dan McCoy

[8:07] a horrible womanizer.

Alonso Duralde

[8:10] Yes.

[8:10] And being very mean

[8:11] to his wife,

[8:12] Julie Andrews,

[8:13] by cheating on her

[8:14] with,

[8:14] with Bo Derek.

[8:15] Uh,

[8:16] and of course,

[8:16] foul play where he plays

[8:18] like a complete sort of

[8:19] It's a rapist basically.

[8:21] Purvisoid.

[8:22] Uh,

[8:22] which was really his

[8:23] launching pad in America.

[8:24] You know,

[8:25] he had,

[8:25] he had obviously

[8:26] performed with Peter Cook

[8:27] for years and had done

[8:28] movies like Bamboozled,

[8:30] but like,

[8:30] I want to see,

[8:33] sorry.

[8:33] Yes.

[8:34] Although Dudley Moore

[8:35] and Bamboozled

Elliott Kalan

[8:35] would be a very

[8:36] interesting movie.

[8:38] That'd be a very

Dan McCoy

[8:39] interesting choice.

[8:40] I guess,

[8:41] could we,

[8:41] could we make that happen?

[8:42] I guess he played

[8:43] the TV executive character.

[8:45] No,

[8:45] no,

Elliott Kalan

[8:45] Dan.

[8:46] No,

[8:46] no,

[8:46] no.

[8:47] He is playing,

[8:47] he's playing,

[8:48] well,

[8:48] he's playing the,

[8:49] well,

[8:50] I mean,

Dan McCoy

[8:50] we don't need,

[8:50] anyway,

Elliott Kalan

[8:51] he's going to play

[8:52] one of the blind characters.

[8:53] The mind reels.

[8:53] Yeah.

Alonso Duralde

[8:55] Bedazzled.

[8:56] The original Bedazzled.

[8:57] Not to be confused

[8:58] with the,

[8:58] the brilliant remake

[9:00] with,

[9:01] with the Brendan Fraser.

[9:03] So,

[9:04] yeah,

[9:04] but,

[9:04] but after foul play,

[9:05] it was like,

[9:05] America could not get

[9:06] enough of that short perv

[9:07] and then,

[9:08] and then they wanted,

[9:10] I want more of that short drunk perv.

[9:12] And so then that led us

[9:13] to six weeks where,

[9:14] yeah,

[9:15] as Elliot points out,

[9:15] he is running for Congress

[9:17] while clearly British

[9:18] and also is the funny politician

[9:22] because that,

[9:23] Dudley Moore can't not be quippy

[9:25] in this.

[9:26] He also,

[9:26] by the way,

[9:27] contribute,

[9:27] let's,

[9:28] let's not lose sight of the fact,

[9:29] he contributed the score

[9:30] to this movie,

[9:30] which is oppressively terrible.

[9:31] Yes,

[9:32] yeah.

Dan McCoy

[9:32] No,

[9:32] it is a terrible score,

[9:33] but it,

[9:34] I believe it won like a Golden Globe.

[9:35] I was doing some like

[9:37] behind the scenes,

[9:38] like,

[9:39] I think it won

[9:41] or was nominated

[9:41] for a Golden Globe.

[9:42] I think Dudley Moore

[9:43] was nominated

[9:44] for a Golden Globe

[9:45] and Mary Tyler Moore

[9:46] was nominated

[9:47] for a Razzie for this,

[9:48] so.

Alonso Duralde

[9:49] Well,

[9:49] the early 80s Golden Globes

[9:51] was really like

[9:52] the peak period

[9:53] of like,

[9:54] let me fly you to Vegas

[9:55] for a weekend.

[9:56] That is true.

[9:56] You know,

[9:57] this is right in the,

[9:58] just before the whole

[9:59] Pia's Adora thing

[10:00] blew up in their faces,

[10:01] but you could really charm,

[10:04] wine,

[10:04] dine,

[10:05] and gift your way

[10:06] into a Golden Globe

[10:07] nomination in that period.

Elliott Kalan

[10:09] Not that he did,

[10:11] mind you.

[10:11] No,

[10:11] no,

[10:12] but I think,

[10:12] Dan,

[10:13] to defend Dudley Moore

[10:14] somewhat,

[10:15] his early stuff

[10:16] is really funny.

[10:17] Like,

[10:17] if you see Beyond the Fringe

[10:19] or you see

[10:19] what's left of,

[10:21] what survives of his work

[10:22] with Peter Cook

[10:23] from then,

[10:23] it is really funny,

[10:25] but it's like,

[10:25] by six weeks,

[10:26] he seems to be on that path

[10:27] that a lot of

[10:28] comedy actors go to

[10:30] where they're like,

[10:30] I don't need to be funny,

[10:32] I'm charming,

[10:33] and you know what?

[10:34] Yeah.

[10:34] I'm an actor.

[10:35] So,

[10:36] it's like,

[10:36] he's so not funny in this,

[10:38] even though he's supposed

[10:38] to be the funny politician,

[10:40] and it's such a snapshot

[10:41] of a time when

[10:42] it's just taken for granted

[10:44] that he is somewhat

[10:46] of a vaguely liberal politician.

[10:49] He seems to have

[10:49] no firm stands on anything.

[10:51] He never gives the audience

[10:52] or the voters

[10:53] a reason that they should

[10:55] vote for him,

[10:55] and there's a part where-

[10:56] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[10:56] one of the real glaring

[10:57] weak spots of the movie

[10:58] is that we don't really

[10:59] understand his politics,

[11:00] right, Elliot?

Elliott Kalan

[11:01] Well, no,

[11:01] more that, like,

[11:02] I don't care if he's

[11:03] elected to Congress.

[11:04] Like, I don't know why

[11:05] he wants to be elected

[11:05] to Congress.

[11:06] So, if the movie is about

[11:08] a little girl who becomes

[11:10] so devoted to him

[11:11] that she wants to spend

[11:13] the last moments of her life

[11:14] getting him into the Capitol,

[11:16] it's like,

[11:17] when she's like,

[11:18] what do you think

[11:18] about poor people?

[11:18] He goes,

[11:19] I'd like to help them.

[11:19] What do you think

[11:20] about wars?

[11:21] I'd like to stop them.

[11:22] You're my man.

[11:23] Okay, great.

[11:24] Like, it's just,

[11:25] I don't want to see him

[11:26] doing a lot of stuff,

[11:27] but he makes such a big deal

[11:28] in the movie

[11:29] about how he's not about issues.

[11:31] He's about,

[11:32] you know, whatever.

[11:32] And it's just like,

[11:33] it just feels

[11:34] a different version of the title.

Alonso Duralde

[11:36] I'm not about issues.

[11:36] I'm about spending

[11:37] a lot of time away

[11:38] from my wife.

[11:39] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[11:39] And frankly,

[11:40] away from the campaign.

[11:42] Like, you know.

[11:43] Yeah, Elliot's keeping his eyes

Stuart Wellington

[11:44] on the prize.

Elliott Kalan

[11:46] No, but it is a movie

[11:47] where the hero

[11:48] basically abandons his family

[11:50] and there's the scene

[11:51] we'll get to,

[11:52] I guess,

[11:52] where his son goes,

[11:53] I get it, dad.

[11:54] And it's like,

[11:55] it's like,

[11:56] wait,

[11:56] hold on a second.

[11:57] Like,

Stuart Wellington

[11:58] that's not the conversation

[11:58] that he's had.

[11:59] This movie feels like,

[12:00] this movie feels like

[12:01] it was adapted

[12:01] from a

[12:02] am I the asshole

[12:03] post on Reddit.

[12:04] Like,

[12:05] you read the headline

[12:06] and you're like,

[12:06] abandons your family.

[12:07] What an asshole.

[12:08] And then you get to the bottom

[12:09] hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[12:11] Well,

[12:12] it feels like

[12:12] that's Dudley Moore's

[12:13] filmography,

[12:14] I guess.

[12:14] Look,

[12:14] I'm a rich,

[12:15] drunk guy,

[12:16] but people love me.

[12:17] Am I the asshole?

[12:19] I saw this,

[12:20] this white girl

[12:21] with dreads on the beach

[12:22] and I had to have her.

[12:25] Like,

[12:25] yeah,

[12:26] I guess that's,

[12:27] look,

[12:27] I'm an advertising executive

[12:28] and I'm not doing good work,

[12:29] so they threw me

[12:30] in a sanitarium.

Alonso Duralde

[12:33] I'm a,

[12:34] I'm,

[12:35] is he a therapist

[12:36] having sex with his patient

[12:37] or a patient having sex

[12:38] with a therapist

[12:38] and lovesick?

[12:39] I forget.

[12:40] I don't know.

[12:40] Either way,

[12:41] you're the asshole.

[12:42] So,

Dan McCoy

[12:44] guys.

[12:44] this movie emotionally

[12:45] is all over the place,

[12:46] I would say,

[12:48] and in terms of like

[12:49] the sympathy

[12:51] it wants us to have

[12:51] for the characters,

[12:52] it's asking a lot,

[12:54] but let's get into the plot

[12:55] to explain

[12:56] why that is true.

Elliott Kalan

[12:58] First,

[12:58] and this is going to be

[12:59] more detail oriented

[13:00] than I get for most of it,

[13:01] it starts with that

[13:02] old Universal Pictures logo

[13:03] where it's like

[13:04] a planet behind a miasma

[13:05] of toxic gas

[13:07] and that just brought me

[13:07] back to my childhood

[13:08] right away,

[13:09] so I really appreciated that.

[13:11] Dudley Moore,

[13:12] like we said,

[13:12] he's Patrick Dalton.

[13:13] He's a foreign-born

[13:14] but American-raised,

[13:16] or he's only been in America

[13:17] for like 10 years,

[13:18] I guess,

[13:19] English-British man

[13:20] who is now a citizen

[13:21] who's running for Congress.

[13:23] He is a California state legislator,

[13:25] and the worst thing

[13:27] that he keeps complaining about

[13:28] is that he has to commute

[13:29] between Sacramento

[13:30] and Los Angeles

[13:31] and it's like,

[13:33] yeah,

[13:33] I hear you.

[13:33] You're living a bad time,

[13:35] man.

[13:35] That sucks.

[13:36] That you got to take

[13:36] that 40-minute flight

[13:37] or whatever it is.

[13:38] Anyway,

[13:39] he's known for his humor

[13:40] and his pranks

[13:41] and he gets to this,

[13:43] he's running late

[13:43] to get to a fancy fundraiser

[13:44] because an interview went long

[13:47] which is bad planning

[13:48] on the part of his campaign manager.

[13:49] He should have people

[13:50] who help him with that.

[13:51] But his campaign manager

[13:52] is already at the party.

[13:54] He's running late

[13:55] and he runs into a teen

[13:56] on the road.

[13:57] Now,

[13:57] by that,

[13:58] I made it sound like

[13:58] he hit the teen with his car.

[13:59] That's not what happens.

[14:00] He stops and asks this

[14:01] teenage girl

[14:03] or adolescent girl,

[14:04] I guess,

[14:04] for directions.

Dan McCoy

[14:07] She's about 13.

[14:08] I looked up the actor

[14:10] and I would say

[14:11] that one of the major problems

[14:12] with this movie

[14:13] is it does not treat it

[14:14] as weird

[14:15] that this middle-aged man

[14:16] immediately befriends

[14:18] a 13-year-old girl

[14:20] in a,

[14:21] like a kind of

[14:22] a beautiful girl-style

[14:23] flirty way,

[14:24] I would say.

[14:25] Well,

[14:25] it's because she's

Elliott Kalan

[14:26] a little...

[14:27] She's a very movie-style

[14:28] precocious,

[14:29] like super flirty

[14:30] 13-year-old

[14:31] where she immediately

[14:32] asks if he's a pedophile

[14:33] and if he's attracted to her

[14:35] and he navigates that,

[14:37] I guess,

[14:38] as well as someone

[14:39] that's...

[14:40] Actually,

[14:40] actually,

[14:40] he navigates it poorly

[14:41] but not as poorly

[14:42] as it could be.

[14:43] He navigates it poorly.

Dan McCoy

[14:43] Like,

[14:43] the movie does not over...

[14:45] Like,

[14:45] there's a bar

[14:47] the movie has to reach

[14:49] to make this relationship

[14:51] not seem a little creepy

[14:53] and it does not clear it,

[14:56] It repeatedly fails to clear it.

[14:56] You have to remember,

Alonso Duralde

[14:57] audiences at this time

[14:58] had just gotten out

[14:59] of watching Foxes

[15:01] and Pretty Baby,

[15:02] so pretty much like,

[15:03] for some reason,

[15:04] precubescent girls

[15:05] were just like

[15:06] open season in Hollywood

[15:07] at that point.

Elliott Kalan

[15:08] Yeah,

[15:09] as opposed to the other periods

[15:10] in Hollywood

[15:10] when he was hands-off.

[15:11] These,

[15:11] we have to guard these

[15:12] for security.

[15:14] You hear that,

[15:15] Charles Chaplin.

[15:16] Anyway,

[15:16] so,

[15:16] she's also,

[15:18] we know that she's quirky

[15:19] because she's collecting...

[15:20] Can't believe Elliot's

Stuart Wellington

[15:20] naming names,

[15:21] guys.

[15:21] Watch out.

Elliott Kalan

[15:22] Yeah,

[15:22] watch out.

[15:24] I don't care

[15:24] whose toes I step on.

[15:28] I gotta think of somebody else.

[15:29] Whose graves I step on.

[15:33] So,

[15:34] she's collecting dead birds.

[15:36] She cuts their head

[15:37] and feet off

[15:37] to make what she refers

[15:38] to as a fetish,

[15:39] kind of a voodoo item,

[15:40] but she doesn't say why.

[15:41] And this is one of those things

[15:42] where it's like,

[15:43] again,

[15:43] just this,

[15:43] it's a quirky...

[15:44] It's because of Paimon

[15:45] or whatever.

[15:46] Yeah,

[15:46] it's like a Garden State

[15:47] type thing.

[15:48] Just a quirk.

[15:49] Her name is Nikki

[15:49] and she says,

[15:51] go up there to the house

[15:52] and he invites her

[15:53] as his guest

[15:54] and she shows the party

[15:55] and keeps on getting kicked out

[15:56] and this is a plot line

[15:57] I wish they'd carried through

[15:58] which is the owner of this house

[15:59] is this rich,

[16:00] middle-aged,

[16:01] bald man

[16:02] who hates this little girl

[16:03] and they have a real

[16:04] antagonistic relationship

[16:05] and it's kind of dropped

[16:07] halfway through

[16:07] and I wanted to know

[16:08] what,

[16:09] why do they,

[16:09] they're so openly

[16:10] sniping at each other

[16:11] and that was the most

[16:12] interesting relationship

[16:13] in the film to me.

[16:14] So I want to see a movie

[16:15] about a rich old man

[16:16] and a rich adolescent girl

[16:18] who hate each other

[16:18] and are just like,

[16:20] like,

[16:21] just feuding all the time.

[16:22] I think that'd be really...

Alonso Duralde

[16:23] Oh,

[16:23] that's a war with grandpa sequel

[16:25] I want to see.

[16:25] Yeah,

[16:25] the same way that like,

Elliott Kalan

[16:26] I walked out of The Irishman

[16:28] being like,

[16:28] I want to see a movie

[16:29] where Joe Pesci

[16:30] and another old man

[16:31] are just,

[16:31] and Al Pacino

[16:31] are arguing over the affection

[16:33] of their friends,

[16:33] like,

[16:34] trying to be the best uncle

[16:36] to this little kid

[16:37] because that was the part

[16:38] of the movie

[16:38] I liked the most.

[16:39] Okay,

[16:40] Nikki's mom

[16:40] is Charlotte Dreyfus,

[16:42] played by Mary Tyler Moore

[16:43] with the hair that,

[16:45] I guess I'd describe it as,

[16:47] there's this,

[16:47] in the old Ninja Turtles comics,

[16:48] April O'Neil gets a weird perm

[16:50] and everyone talks about

[16:50] how much they love it.

[16:51] And that's the haircut

[16:52] that Mary Tyler Moore

[16:53] has in this movie.

[16:54] Yeah,

Dan McCoy

[16:54] I hate to linger too much

[16:56] on actors' appearances

[16:58] in movies,

[17:00] it seems untoward,

[17:01] but like,

[17:02] it does represent

[17:03] some of the worst

[17:04] of 1980s,

[17:05] like,

[17:06] rich lady fashion,

[17:08] the way that they

[17:09] style her in this movie.

Alonso Duralde

[17:12] It's that moment

[17:12] early in a decade

[17:13] where you're still

[17:14] sort of dealing

[17:15] with the last refuge

[17:17] of the previous decade.

[17:19] So this is like

[17:20] the worst of like 1978

[17:22] still kind of subsiding away.

Elliott Kalan

[17:24] Not since Gary Oldman

[17:26] as butt hair Dracula

[17:28] in Bram Stoker's Dracula

[17:29] have I been so distracted

[17:30] by a haircut

[17:31] in a movie.

[17:32] And she has it

[17:33] the whole movie

[17:34] in every scene

[17:34] and I'd just be like,

[17:35] I can't,

[17:36] I'm sorry,

[17:36] I can't take you seriously

[17:37] with that.

[17:38] And you're like,

Stuart Wellington

[17:38] And she works for like

[17:39] a cosmetics company,

[17:41] right?

[17:41] You would think images.

[17:42] Yes.

[17:42] She owns a cosmetics company

Elliott Kalan

[17:45] that operates out of her house

[17:46] slash factory

[17:47] slash cultural community

[17:48] arts center.

[17:49] But anyway,

[17:50] we'll get to that.

[17:51] It's like in American Crime Story,

[17:54] O.J. Simpson or whatever,

[17:55] when Marsha Clark

[17:56] gets her new hair

[17:56] and everyone is like,

[17:57] what did you do?

[17:58] Except nobody in the movie

[17:59] thinks there's a problem with it.

[18:01] It's just,

[18:02] anyway,

[18:03] so she is a cosmetics magnate

[18:05] who hates politicians.

[18:06] They're always asking her for money

[18:08] and she thinks that

[18:09] Dudley Moore is just another one

[18:10] and that he's using her daughter

[18:11] to get to her money

[18:13] and she does not like it.

[18:15] And this is when we see

[18:16] that Dudley Moore has

[18:16] only the barest hint

[18:18] of an ideology

[18:19] or a personality,

[18:20] to be honest.

[18:20] He's just kind of like

[18:21] a guy who's used to,

[18:23] he seems like he's the guy

[18:23] who's like,

[18:24] if I'm in any situation

[18:25] where I have to like

[18:27] do anything,

[18:27] I'll just sit down at a piano

[18:29] and play a Billy Joel song

[18:30] and everyone will sing along

[18:31] and then I can leave

[18:32] and I don't have to like

[18:33] actually exert myself

[18:35] to connect with other human beings.

Dan McCoy

[18:36] I mean,

[18:36] based on this young girl,

[18:38] she seems to inspire,

[18:39] he seems to inspire

[18:40] this Bernie-like devotion

[18:42] in the youth room.

[18:44] Like these,

[18:44] these like,

[18:45] whatever his policies are,

[18:48] she immediately wants

[18:49] to sign on

[18:50] and volunteer.

Alonso Duralde

[18:51] Yeah.

[18:52] Does no one talk

[18:53] to this girl?

[18:54] She seems very excited

[18:55] about the fact

[18:55] she's getting any attention.

[18:57] You're right,

[18:58] the scene with Mary Tyler Moore

[18:59] reveals his one scruple.

Elliott Kalan

[19:01] What is his one scruple?

[19:03] That he,

[19:03] I guess that he doesn't want

[19:05] to be a babysitter

[19:05] later on or?

Alonso Duralde

[19:07] Well,

[19:07] that and that,

[19:08] just the idea that,

[19:09] that he has no idea

[19:09] who she is

[19:10] and he resents

[19:11] the implication

[19:12] that he would dare

[19:13] befriend this girl

[19:14] just to get to mom's bank account.

[19:15] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:16] He's got his pride,

[19:17] you know,

[19:17] he's,

[19:18] he's got his honor

[19:18] even though as we'll see

[19:19] he's a man who will

[19:20] cast aside his family

[19:21] without much thought.

[19:22] Who or his family

[19:23] will meet him?

[19:23] He has a wife

[19:24] and he has a son

[19:24] who has a broken leg

[19:25] like a high school age son

[19:27] and she doesn't like

[19:29] that politics keeps.

[19:30] Right off,

Stuart Wellington

[19:31] right off the bat

[19:31] we see his family

[19:33] not as good

[19:34] as his other possible family,

[19:35] right?

Elliott Kalan

[19:36] No,

[19:36] not as good.

[19:38] His,

[19:38] his son,

[19:39] his son is a real void

[19:41] just like a nothing

[19:42] and his wife,

[19:44] she just,

[19:44] it's always nagging him

[19:45] about how he's never

[19:46] at home ever

[19:47] because of politics.

Dan McCoy

[19:49] Always nagging him

[19:50] about how he apparently

[19:51] as we learned later

[19:52] had another affair earlier

[19:54] and now seems deeply ambivalent

[19:57] about his family.

[19:58] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:58] We see,

[19:59] it's,

[19:59] and it's,

[20:00] I would say the only

[20:01] relationship with less chemistry

[20:03] than Dudley Moore

[20:05] is Dudley Moore

[20:05] and his,

[20:06] and the wife character

[20:07] where they're in bed together

[20:09] and they're talking about stuff

[20:10] and he's like being a little flirty

[20:12] and I was like,

[20:12] have they met?

[20:14] Like,

[20:14] was this,

[20:14] like,

[20:15] did the son introduce them

[20:16] that day

[20:16] and this is their first night

[20:18] together

[20:19] and they're just feeling out

[20:20] how they are as a couple?

[20:21] Yeah.

Alonso Duralde

[20:23] And,

[20:23] and whoever styled her,

[20:25] I'm sure probably the genius

[20:26] behind Mary Tyler Moore

[20:27] is not doing her any favors.

[20:29] Like,

[20:29] she looks like she went

[20:30] to the beauty parlor

[20:31] with a picture of the mom

[20:33] from Footloose

[20:34] and said,

[20:34] make me look like this.

Elliott Kalan

[20:35] Yeah,

[20:35] they're,

[20:35] they're really setting her up

[20:37] as like the,

[20:37] the dowdy nag back home

[20:39] that you want him

[20:40] to get away from,

[20:41] which was not fair,

[20:41] I'll say.

[20:42] So,

[20:42] Charlotte Dreyfus,

[20:43] she calls him to her,

[20:44] or Dreyfus,

[20:45] as they always say,

[20:45] because I guess they don't want

[20:46] people to think she's Jewish,

[20:47] I don't know,

[20:48] calls him to her office

[20:49] slash factory,

[20:50] which also has an arts warehouse

[20:51] and Nikki has a ballet class

[20:53] studio there

[20:53] and she wants to contribute

[20:55] money to him

[20:55] because Nikki believes

[20:56] in him so much,

[20:58] but she wants Nikki

[20:59] to be a part of the campaign

[21:00] and he's like,

[21:01] what?

[21:01] I'm not gonna like

[21:02] just babysit your daughter

[21:04] to support my political campaign.

[21:06] I'm a serious candidate

[21:08] with no stances

[21:09] on any issues.

Dan McCoy

[21:10] But this is one of the few scenes

[21:14] where I like Dudley more

[21:16] because he responds

[21:18] to this objectively strange offer

[21:20] of,

[21:22] I will give you a bunch of money

[21:23] if you,

[21:24] like,

[21:24] take my daughter around

[21:26] and give her a slot

[21:27] on your campaign staff

[21:28] with,

[21:29] no,

[21:29] lady.

[21:30] Like,

[21:31] this is like the one time

[21:32] where I'm like,

[21:33] okay,

[21:33] this is like a reasonable way

[21:34] for a human to act.

[21:36] Like,

[21:36] he's like,

[21:36] this is weird

[21:37] and it is weird,

[21:38] to be fair.

Elliott Kalan

[21:39] I do wish,

[21:39] I do wish it had been

[21:40] more of a cop and a half

[21:41] type thing

[21:41] where she's like,

[21:41] you can have the money

[21:42] but Nikki's your campaign manager now

[21:44] and now he's doing

[21:45] like a kid's idea

[21:46] of a political campaign.

[21:47] But it works.

[21:48] People love it.

[21:49] They find it so refreshing,

[21:51] you know?

[21:51] Where the other guy's

[21:52] hurling mud

[21:53] in attack ads,

[21:54] this guy's hurling candy

[21:55] from a little car.

Dan McCoy

[21:57] Water balloons.

[21:58] That was the original draft

[21:59] of the script

[22:00] and then they turned it

[22:01] into crazy people.

[22:02] They're like,

Elliott Kalan

[22:03] what if a kid

Dan McCoy

[22:04] is good at politics

[22:05] but what if a crazy person

[22:06] is good at advertising?

[22:08] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[22:09] And what if an advertising man

[22:10] is good at lion taming?

[22:12] But what if a lion tamer

[22:13] is good at ocean exploration?

Dan McCoy

[22:15] What if that ocean explorer

[22:16] is the best stripper

[22:17] in the world?

Elliott Kalan

[22:18] Like,

[22:18] there's a number of ways

[22:20] you could take it.

[22:21] So,

[22:21] she gets upset

[22:22] and she's like,

[22:22] Nikki wants to accomplish

[22:23] something in her life

[22:25] she'll accomplish something

[22:25] when she grows up

[22:26] and she goes,

[22:26] she's not going to grow up.

[22:28] I've said too much

[22:29] and runs off crying.

[22:30] That night,

[22:30] Patrick goes back

[22:31] to see Charlotte

[22:32] and kind of just walks

[22:34] into their house

[22:34] which is weird.

[22:36] Well,

[22:36] he knows the secret entrance now.

[22:38] I guess that's true

[22:39] but there are rich people

[22:39] who live in a warehouse

[22:40] in an industrial district

[22:42] and I guess the doors

[22:43] are not locked

[22:43] but Nikki is practicing ballet

[22:45] like a regular kiddie pride

[22:47] and they have a heart-to-heart

[22:48] where he gets,

[22:50] he admits,

[22:50] by admitting that he once

[22:51] cheated on his wife,

[22:52] a story he says

[22:53] he didn't tell anyone before,

[22:54] he gets her to admit

[22:55] that she has leukemia

[22:56] and she's tired of having

[22:58] everything in her life

[22:59] handed to her

[23:00] and wants to work for something

[23:02] before she dies.

[23:03] Now, spoiler alert,

[23:05] but at the end of the movie

[23:06] she has her dream come true

[23:07] literally handed to her

[23:08] and she doesn't seem

[23:09] to have a problem with it

[23:10] but Stuart,

[23:11] what were you going to say?

[23:12] Take down this dying girl.

Stuart Wellington

[23:13] Take her down.

[23:14] I never would have realized

[23:15] that when she asks him,

[23:17] so like, you know,

[23:18] she's a precocious kid

[23:19] and she asks him

[23:20] like straight to his face

[23:21] if he's ever had an affair

[23:22] and at first I'm like,

[23:24] is she like testing

[23:25] to see if he'd be

[23:25] a good candidate

[23:26] but no,

[23:27] she's testing the water

[23:28] to see if he'll

[23:29] abandon his family

[23:30] to join her family

[23:31] at that point, right?

[23:32] Yeah, she's grooming him.

[23:34] They call that grooming

Elliott Kalan

[23:34] in the kids

[23:35] that are being predators

[23:37] on married middle-aged men

[23:39] community, yeah.

[23:40] Well, she is taller than he is.

[23:42] That's true.

[23:43] I mean, she is also,

[23:44] she has the most emotional control

[23:46] of anyone in the movie,

[23:48] the character, I mean,

[23:48] where it's just like

[23:49] the adults do a lot of like

[23:51] crying and not being sure

[23:52] what to do

[23:52] and she's, you know,

[23:53] she's a kid in a movie

[23:54] so she's super confident

[23:55] and like kind of

[23:56] is always in charge.

[23:58] A real curly Sue.

Dan McCoy

[23:59] I would like to say

[24:01] at this point,

[24:02] like, so other than

[24:04] the potentially worrisome

[24:06] nature of this relationship

[24:07] which is a huge hurdle again

[24:09] that I do not think

[24:10] the movie like quite,

[24:12] it sort of like jumps on it

[24:13] and like stumbles

[24:14] over the hurdle

[24:16] but other than that,

[24:18] other than that,

Elliott Kalan

[24:21] I think this movie,

[24:21] Why were you carrying them

[24:24] in your pocket

[24:25] when you were jumping

[24:25] over those hurdles?

[24:26] That's a good question.

Dan McCoy

[24:28] For the first like

[24:29] 20 minutes to half

[24:30] an hour of the movie,

[24:31] I'm like,

[24:32] okay, like,

[24:33] I don't like this one element

[24:35] but I could see

[24:36] how this movie could work

[24:37] and if later on

[24:37] we want to do our

[24:38] script doctoring,

[24:40] I might be up for that

[24:41] but like,

Elliott Kalan

[24:41] Yeah, in our classic segment,

[24:43] Doctor, Doctor,

[24:44] give me the news,

[24:45] I got a bad case

[24:46] of rewriting you.

Dan McCoy

[24:48] Yeah, but the script flopped her.

[24:52] But this part of the movie

[24:55] could be interesting.

[24:57] This like,

[24:58] young girl

[24:59] who's like idealistic

[25:00] but is dying

[25:02] and this politician

[25:04] and a friendship they strike,

[25:06] like that could be

[25:06] an interesting part of the movie

[25:07] and like for the first part

[25:09] of the movie,

[25:09] I'm like,

[25:09] oh, okay,

[25:10] I'm not loving this

[25:11] but we watch a lot

[25:12] of genre movies,

[25:13] it's nice to see

[25:14] like a human-sized drama

[25:16] and this is the point

[25:18] where the movie

[25:18] stops being interesting

[25:20] at all to me

[25:20] because it veers

[25:22] into a long romance

[25:24] between Dudley Moore

[25:26] and as referenced before,

[25:28] they have less than

[25:29] no charisma together

[25:31] or chemistry

[25:32] and it is like,

[25:34] it is just,

[25:35] it becomes a very boring

[25:36] slog peppered with like

[25:38] me yelling at the screen

[25:40] about the way

[25:40] characters are acting.

Elliott Kalan

[25:42] I mean,

[25:42] there's three,

[25:43] I would say there's

[25:43] three major flaws

[25:44] with the story of this movie.

[25:46] One,

[25:47] it's not a very

[25:47] interesting story

[25:48] and I say that

[25:49] as someone who has

[25:50] found that I have

[25:51] a real appetite

[25:51] for older weepy

[25:53] melodramas,

[25:54] like 40s weepy

[25:55] melodramas,

[25:55] like that get really

[25:56] over the top

[25:56] but this one is,

[25:57] it's neither over the top

[25:59] enough nor is it

[25:59] believable enough.

[26:01] Two,

[26:02] Nikki is not a

[26:03] real person

[26:04] at any point.

[26:05] She's like a movie

[26:06] perfect kid who,

[26:07] she never gets upset,

[26:08] she never throws a tantrum,

[26:09] like,

[26:10] I have two great kids

[26:11] and they're constantly

[26:12] pissing the shit

[26:13] out of me.

[26:13] Like,

[26:13] they're always getting me mad.

Stuart Wellington

[26:15] When she like gets,

[26:17] when her illness

[26:18] finally overtakes her,

[26:19] at no point up to then

[26:21] does she ever really

[26:22] seem sick,

[26:23] right?

[26:24] Like,

[26:24] unless I wasn't,

[26:25] oh,

[26:26] that's,

[26:26] we'll get there.

Elliott Kalan

[26:28] I mean,

[26:28] not only does she

[26:29] never seem sick,

[26:30] she dances in a ballet

[26:32] but anyway,

[26:32] and three,

[26:34] the two romantic leads,

[26:36] they don't have a sense of,

[26:38] the romance doesn't feel

[26:39] palpable between those

[26:40] performances but also like,

[26:41] it feels like the movie

[26:42] is giving you so many reasons

[26:43] to not want them

[26:44] to be together.

[26:45] Like,

[26:45] there's so many good reasons

[26:46] they should not be

[26:47] in a relationship.

Dan McCoy

[26:48] There is no reason,

[26:50] like,

[26:51] I do not know why

[26:52] they fall in love

[26:53] with each other

[26:53] other than they are

[26:54] bonding over this dying

[26:56] child.

[26:56] Pure animal magnetism.

Stuart Wellington

[26:59] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[27:00] And also this sort of like,

[27:02] vague sense that like,

[27:03] Dudley Moore wants

[27:04] out of his marriage

[27:05] which is not like,

[27:06] a,

[27:07] like,

[27:08] look,

[27:08] life is long

[27:10] and we all have

[27:11] things that happen

[27:12] in our lives.

[27:13] That's true,

[27:13] I like.

[27:13] Like,

[27:14] I'm not gonna,

[27:15] like,

[27:15] people have complicated lives,

[27:16] I'm not gonna like,

[27:17] necessarily pass judgment

[27:18] from afar on people

[27:20] but as a movie protagonist,

[27:21] I'm not like,

[27:22] yeah,

[27:23] leave your family

[27:24] for these guys.

Alonso Duralde

[27:27] There's the idea

[27:29] of like,

[27:29] okay,

[27:30] this girl is,

[27:30] she's an adolescent girl

[27:31] and she knows she's dying

[27:33] so of course

[27:34] she's going to be sort of

[27:35] intellectually,

[27:37] sexually precocious.

[27:38] She's gonna want to talk

[27:39] about this stuff

[27:40] because she's not gonna get older,

[27:41] it's not a thing

[27:42] where she can wait

[27:42] until it's appropriate.

[27:43] Of course she's gonna ask questions

[27:45] and blurt out

[27:45] inappropriate things

[27:46] and all that stuff.

[27:47] Fine,

[27:48] whatever.

[27:48] But in the context

[27:49] of a movie

[27:50] in which there is already

[27:51] this weird,

[27:52] creepy relationship

[27:53] between her

[27:54] and Dudley Moore

[27:55] and just that era

[27:56] of movies

[27:57] that was tending

[27:58] to sexualize girls

[27:59] at far too early

[28:00] in age anyway,

[28:01] none of that plays

[28:02] and so I think

[28:03] that's a thing

[28:04] you could cherry pick

[28:05] out of this movie

[28:06] and put into a smarter film

[28:07] but in this context

[28:08] it's just gross.

[28:09] At any point

[28:10] I expected

Stuart Wellington

[28:10] Travis Bickle

[28:11] to show up

[28:12] and blast Dudley Moore

[28:13] and get that old girl

[28:14] out of there.

Dan McCoy

[28:18] I'm here to save you, kid.

[28:20] I do want to say

[28:21] about the actor,

[28:22] the young girl,

[28:23] the character

[28:26] is completely unworkable

[28:27] but I will give her credit

[28:30] she does a good job

[28:33] trying to make it work

[28:34] especially because

[28:35] this is her only

[28:36] acting credit.

[28:38] she was an ice dancer

[28:40] and a very acclaimed ballerina

[28:44] but this is her one acting role.

Stuart Wellington

[28:47] Yeah, so if her grandkids

[28:49] put this podcast on for her

[28:50] so she can listen to it

[28:51] she won't feel good.

[28:53] I mean, she's not that old.

Elliott Kalan

[28:55] She was 13 in 1982

[28:58] so I don't think

[29:00] she has grandchildren.

[29:01] This isn't a fucking

Dan McCoy

[29:01] math podcast, Elliot.

[29:04] I want to give the movie

[29:06] the credit I can.

[29:07] You know me,

[29:08] like I always want to

[29:09] like say the thing

[29:10] that like,

[29:12] look,

[29:12] it is a terribly written character

[29:14] that does not make any sense.

[29:15] I'll go along with the premise

Elliott Kalan

[29:16] that you always want to say

[29:17] nice things about movies.

[29:17] I'll buy into that premise

[29:18] for this episode.

Dan McCoy

[29:21] No, I'm just like,

[29:22] look,

[29:23] this is a terrible character

[29:24] but I've seen

[29:27] much more experienced

[29:28] child actors

[29:29] do much worse jobs

[29:31] with better material.

Elliott Kalan

[29:32] Oh no,

[29:33] I think she,

[29:33] I think if anyone,

[29:34] if anyone is trying

[29:36] and somewhat succeeding

[29:38] to make their character

[29:38] work a little bit,

[29:40] it is her

[29:41] and her name is

[29:42] Catherine Healy.

[29:43] But it's,

[29:43] She can hold her head high.

[29:45] She can hold,

[29:45] yeah,

[29:45] I mean,

[29:46] she can hold her head

[29:46] higher than Dudley Moore

[29:47] certainly because he's

[29:48] very short.

Dan McCoy

[29:49] Well,

[29:50] he's dead,

[29:50] Elliot.

[29:51] He is a,

[29:51] he has passed away.

Elliott Kalan

[29:54] when he died,

[29:54] he got six feet tall.

[29:56] so the joke's inaccurate.

[29:57] No,

[29:58] I'm saying his head,

Dan McCoy

[29:58] he can't lift his head

[30:00] and you,

[30:00] you're saying she can

[30:02] lift her head

[30:02] even higher than him.

[30:03] after you die,

Elliott Kalan

[30:04] that's what they say.

[30:05] That's why,

[30:05] that's why coffins

[30:06] are expandable.

[30:07] That's why they have

[30:07] those accordion sides

[30:08] on coffins.

[30:10] Yeah.

[30:12] That's why,

[30:13] they had to dig up

[30:14] Lincoln's body

[30:15] at one point

[30:15] and he had grown

[30:16] to 17 feet tall.

[30:18] So,

[30:19] so anyway,

[30:19] long story short,

[30:20] through things like

[30:21] going to carnivals together

[30:22] and avoiding

[30:23] Patrick's family,

[30:24] Charlotte starts

[30:25] falling in love

[30:26] with Patrick.

[30:27] Patrick doesn't want

[30:27] to hurt his family

[30:28] but he's been disappearing

[30:29] for days,

[30:30] if not weeks,

[30:30] and so he has been

[30:31] hurting his family.

[30:32] His wife assumes

[30:33] that he loves Charlotte

[30:36] and Dudley Moore's wife

[30:37] asks him,

[30:38] are you in love

[30:38] with Charlotte?

[30:39] And he's like,

[30:40] um,

Stuart Wellington

[30:41] well,

[30:41] um,

[30:42] and she says,

[30:43] don't come home

[30:43] until you're done

[30:44] with this.

[30:44] Pick a lane,

[30:45] mofo.

Elliott Kalan

[30:46] She very reasonably

[30:48] says,

[30:49] you can't have

[30:49] two families.

Dan McCoy

[30:51] Yeah,

[30:51] he says,

[30:51] I am not

[30:52] involved with Charlotte,

[30:54] which very much

[30:55] is not the question

[30:56] that she asked him.

Elliott Kalan

[30:57] No,

[30:57] it also implies

[30:58] that he's involved

[30:59] with Nikki,

[30:59] which is worse,

[31:00] which is terrible.

[31:02] So,

[31:03] Nikki loves

[31:04] this situation.

[31:05] She loves that

[31:05] she finally has a dad

[31:06] and her mom

[31:07] is finally falling

[31:08] in love

[31:08] and advises them

[31:10] to have sex

[31:10] with each other

[31:11] and is like,

[31:11] it's so gross,

[31:12] it's so sitcom

[31:13] kid gross

[31:13] where she's like,

[31:14] tonight,

[31:14] I'm gonna sleep

[31:15] with my headphones on.

Alonso Duralde

[31:15] Are you going

[31:16] to make love

Elliott Kalan

[31:17] to each other?

[31:18] She says,

[31:18] are you gonna make

[31:18] love to each other?

[31:19] Tonight,

[31:20] I'm sleeping

[31:20] with my headphones

[31:21] on,

[31:21] so I wouldn't

[31:21] hear anything.

[31:23] And they both

[31:23] say,

[31:23] I left a few

Dan McCoy

[31:25] tasteful toys

[31:26] in your bed.

[31:30] Here are my

[31:30] Barry White albums.

Elliott Kalan

[31:32] He goes,

[31:32] I think you'll find

[31:33] this little blue pill

[31:34] can help you

[31:35] past any qualms

[31:35] you might have,

[31:37] Patrick.

[31:38] But they,

[31:39] then she,

[31:39] they have a

[31:40] conversation that

[31:41] is so,

[31:42] it felt like

[31:42] the kind of,

[31:43] the kind of thing

[31:44] that I see usually

[31:44] in like an

[31:45] Alan Alda project

[31:46] where it's two

[31:47] middle-aged,

[31:48] kind of upper

[31:49] middle class,

[31:50] rich white people

[31:50] saying like,

[31:52] I have such

[31:52] feelings for you.

[31:53] I think you should

[31:54] go because if you

[31:55] stayed tonight,

[31:56] I'd just never

[31:57] be able to let

[31:57] you go.

[31:58] Yes,

[31:58] that would be

[31:58] the mature

[31:59] decision to make

[32:00] because I'm so

[32:01] torn by lust

[32:02] for you and

[32:03] love for you.

[32:04] We do love each

[32:05] other and that's

[32:05] why I have to

[32:05] leave right now.

[32:07] they are so,

[32:07] like,

[32:08] let's shake

[32:08] hands.

[32:08] Yes,

Dan McCoy

[32:09] like,

[32:09] and they,

[32:09] let's shake

[32:10] hands and say

[32:11] goodnight.

[32:11] And it was

[32:12] like,

[32:12] this very like,

[32:13] hmm,

Elliott Kalan

[32:14] I don't know

[32:15] what love

[32:15] feels like anymore

[32:16] or lust for

[32:17] that matter,

[32:17] but I assume

[32:18] that's it now.

[32:18] So I think

[32:19] I'll leave now.

[32:19] Like,

[32:20] two robots

[32:21] that have been

[32:21] programmed to

[32:22] tell each other

[32:22] they love each

[32:23] other.

Dan McCoy

[32:24] There could be

[32:25] like a complex

[32:26] movie made

[32:27] about this,

[32:28] but this movie

[32:29] does not pick

[32:31] a lane as

[32:32] Alonzo said

[32:32] before.

[32:33] Like,

[32:33] either you don't

[32:35] give Dudley

[32:35] more a family,

[32:37] which is what I

[32:37] would advocate

[32:37] for,

[32:39] or you make

[32:40] it much

[32:41] clearer that,

[32:42] like,

[32:43] you know,

[32:44] like,

[32:44] he,

[32:45] like,

[32:45] everyone's

[32:46] tortured over

[32:46] this.

[32:47] Maybe he

[32:48] realizes that

[32:49] he's kind

[32:49] of a dick.

[32:50] Yeah.

[32:53] Also,

Elliott Kalan

[32:53] who is Nikki's

[32:54] dad?

[32:56] Like,

[32:56] is he dead?

Alonso Duralde

[32:57] Were they

[32:58] divorced?

[32:58] Is it a virgin

[32:59] birth?

[32:59] Like,

[32:59] we're never

Elliott Kalan

[33:00] told anything.

[33:01] It's true.

[33:01] It is a huge,

[33:02] it is a gaping,

[33:03] there must be

[33:04] something that

[33:04] they cut out,

[33:05] maybe,

[33:06] because it is a

[33:06] gaping void

[33:07] that we never

[33:08] find out what

[33:08] the deal is

[33:09] with that,

[33:09] because they're

[33:09] very,

[33:10] it's a very

[33:10] different situation

[33:11] if her parents

[33:12] are divorced,

[33:13] if her father

[33:14] died,

[33:15] did she ever

[33:15] know her dad?

[33:17] Did her mother

[33:18] have a child

[33:19] out of,

[33:20] like,

[33:20] not married,

[33:20] like,

[33:21] those are all

[33:21] different situations

[33:22] that a child

[33:23] would react to

[33:24] differently,

[33:25] but it kind of

[33:25] doesn't matter.

[33:26] Was her father

Stuart Wellington

[33:26] like a short,

[33:27] fast-talking Englishman,

[33:28] because that would

[33:29] explain her

[33:29] connection with him?

[33:31] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[33:31] her dad was

[33:32] Bob Hoskins,

[33:32] that's the thing.

[33:33] I mean,

[33:34] Bob Hoskins

[33:34] would be incredible.

[33:35] Anthony Newley.

[33:36] I think there's a,

[33:38] there's a feeling,

[33:39] yeah,

[33:39] that God created

[33:41] this family

[33:41] out of whole cloth

[33:43] for Dudley Moore's

[33:44] character to,

[33:45] like,

[33:45] escape from his family,

[33:47] which is,

[33:47] ultimate temptation.

[33:48] Fine.

[33:49] Yeah,

[33:49] exactly.

[33:50] Anyway,

[33:51] they have this

[33:51] kind of,

[33:52] like,

[33:53] simulacrum,

[33:54] kind of,

[33:54] like,

[33:55] kind of,

[33:55] you know,

[33:56] Jordan Wolfson

[33:57] animatronic

[33:58] character conversation

[33:59] about love,

[34:00] and the Dravus's

[34:02] throw a big fundraiser

[34:03] at their factory

[34:04] community center house,

[34:05] and Patrick's wife

[34:06] and son show up.

[34:07] Oh,

[34:07] shit.

[34:09] Things are gonna go down,

[34:10] except they don't.

[34:11] It's super awkward,

[34:12] but then,

[34:12] as I mentioned earlier,

[34:14] Dudley Moore's son

[34:14] goes up and goes,

[34:15] Dad,

[34:16] don't think I don't

[34:17] understand.

[34:17] And it's this weird

[34:18] moment where it's like,

[34:19] so is it that your son

[34:20] also wants to have sex

[34:21] with Mary Tyler Moore,

[34:22] and that's why he,

[34:22] like,

[34:22] gets it?

[34:23] Well,

Dan McCoy

[34:24] he watched the Dick Van Dyke

[34:25] show on Nick at Night

[34:26] when he was young.

[34:27] I guess.

[34:28] And he saw those

Alonso Duralde

[34:29] capri pants.

[34:31] Look,

[34:31] that dying girl

[34:33] is so precocious,

[34:34] I totally understand

[34:35] why she needs

[34:36] your attention

[34:36] more than I do.

Elliott Kalan

[34:38] Look,

[34:38] look,

[34:38] Dad,

[34:39] I'm going to college soon.

[34:41] I want to cut ties

[34:41] with this family,

[34:42] too.

[34:43] Like,

[34:43] let's just make a pact,

[34:44] you and me,

[34:44] we're not,

[34:45] this family doesn't exist

[34:46] anymore.

[34:46] Shake on it.

[34:47] This never happens.

Dan McCoy

[34:48] And also,

[34:48] you,

[34:49] me,

[34:49] mom,

[34:49] this never happened.

[34:51] Mary Tyler Moore,

[34:52] like,

[34:52] sort of pulls the life away,

[34:54] and they have,

[34:55] like,

[34:55] a conversation

[34:55] off screen.

[34:56] It could be

[34:57] an interesting scene,

[34:58] but they don't show it,

[34:59] where,

[35:00] like,

[35:00] I assume what happens

[35:02] is Mary Tyler Moore

[35:03] is reassuring the wife

[35:05] that nothing has happened,

[35:07] even though there is

[35:08] this emotional affair

[35:09] going on.

[35:10] And this scene

[35:11] is very strange

[35:12] because it is the closest

[35:14] the movie comes

[35:15] to acknowledging

[35:17] that,

[35:17] like,

[35:18] this is a really shitty thing

[35:19] that Dudley Moore

[35:20] is doing right now.

[35:21] But the rest of the movie,

[35:23] and particularly the ending,

[35:24] seem to make us,

[35:25] like,

[35:25] want to make us think,

[35:27] like,

[35:27] no, no, no,

[35:28] like,

[35:29] you should be with

[35:30] Mary Tyler Moore.

[35:30] We get it, too.

Elliott Kalan

[35:31] And we never see

[35:33] his family again

[35:34] after this scene, right?

[35:35] Like,

[35:35] they're just not

[35:35] in the movie anymore,

[35:36] I think.

Dan McCoy

[35:37] Yeah,

[35:37] I don't think so.

[35:39] But,

[35:39] if so,

[35:40] they might,

[35:40] like,

[35:41] be on the other side

[35:41] of a phone

[35:42] or something.

Elliott Kalan

[35:43] Yeah,

[35:44] yeah.

[35:45] So,

[35:45] Charlotte tells Patrick

[35:46] during a very subdued

[35:49] grown-up phone call,

[35:50] again,

[35:50] this is kind of like

[35:51] Alan Alda emotions,

[35:52] that she's met,

[35:53] now that she's met his family

[35:54] and they have faces,

[35:56] they can't do this anymore,

[35:57] and she and Nikki

[35:58] are going to fly to New York

[35:59] and maybe go,

[36:01] who knows,

[36:02] travel all over the world together,

[36:03] and Patrick is like,

[36:04] Yeah,

[36:04] like,

[36:05] it's a bucket list situation.

[36:07] Yeah,

[36:07] I mean,

[36:08] literally,

[36:08] it is a bucket list situation.

[36:09] And Patrick is like,

[36:11] No,

[36:12] no,

[36:12] and he chases after them

[36:13] and catches them at the airport.

[36:15] And it is like,

[36:17] and they're all like,

[36:17] Yay,

[36:18] we're together again.

[36:19] And there's a segment,

[36:20] there's a brief moment

[36:21] where Dudley Moore is having trouble

[36:23] with the metal detector

[36:24] at the airport.

[36:25] He just can't seem to get

[36:26] all this metal out of his pockets.

[36:28] I can't figure out

[36:29] if this is supposed to be funny

[36:30] or if I'm supposed to be like,

[36:31] No,

[36:31] no,

[36:32] he's not going to be able

[36:32] to catch up with them.

[36:33] Or if I'm going to be like,

[36:34] Good,

[36:34] stay there.

[36:35] Don't,

[36:35] like get stuck.

[36:36] I don't want you to be these people.

Dan McCoy

[36:37] And this was even,

[36:38] this is before the current like TSA.

[36:40] Like it should be,

[36:41] like he should be like waltzing

[36:42] through the checkpoint.

Stuart Wellington

[36:44] This checkpoint didn't happen

[36:45] after 9-11,

[36:47] Dan?

Dan McCoy

[36:49] I'm just saying like,

[36:50] like to have like this

[36:52] ostensibly funny set piece

[36:54] about like a guy who

[36:56] I assume is a senator

[36:57] travels all the time

[36:58] being like,

[36:59] What?

[37:00] He's a state senator.

[37:01] I have to take the change

[37:01] out of my pocket?

Elliott Kalan

[37:03] I mean,

[37:03] although I do see people like that.

[37:04] Just waltz up to the gate.

[37:06] Yeah,

[37:06] these days.

[37:06] Like those days,

[37:08] those days it was like,

[37:09] let me check your gun,

[37:11] sir.

[37:11] It has bullets in it.

[37:12] Good.

[37:12] That's the way to the gate.

[37:13] Just go up there.

[37:15] Oh,

[37:15] would you like me to light your cigarette?

[37:16] Is your flamethrower fully charged?

[37:18] Okay,

[37:18] good.

[37:18] You're,

[37:19] you're cleared.

Dan McCoy

[37:20] Now,

[37:20] this is the line for people

[37:21] who want to take the plane to Cuba.

[37:23] Do you want to get in that line?

Alonso Duralde

[37:26] True story.

[37:27] My,

[37:27] my,

[37:27] my family went to Spain

[37:30] in 1978

[37:31] to celebrate my parents'

[37:32] silver wedding anniversary

[37:33] because that's where

[37:34] they were both born.

[37:35] my grandmother

[37:36] had in her house

[37:37] an unexploded,

[37:39] defused,

[37:40] Spanish Civil War bomb.

[37:42] Wow.

[37:43] We took it apart,

[37:44] put the pieces

[37:45] in different pieces of luggage

[37:46] and brought it home

[37:48] and I still have it

[37:49] as a doorstep.

[37:50] Wow.

[37:50] That's pretty fantastic.

[37:52] That's pretty great.

[37:53] And yet,

[37:54] Dudley Moore's change

[37:55] is somehow

[37:55] making it impossible for him

[37:57] to get to the,

[37:58] the LAX,

[37:59] you know,

[38:00] New York game.

[38:01] Back then,

Elliott Kalan

[38:01] every now and then

[38:02] they'd stop you

[38:02] and they'd say,

[38:04] actually,

[38:04] can you check that bag?

[38:05] Someone wants to bring a bomb on

[38:06] in the overhead compartment.

[38:07] We'd really appreciate it

[38:08] if you could make space for it.

[38:09] Like it was,

[38:10] but yeah,

[38:10] he just,

[38:11] he can't get through there

[38:12] but he catches them

[38:13] on an escalator.

[38:14] I will say,

[38:15] I was like,

[38:15] oh,

[38:15] LAX really has not changed

[38:16] very much

[38:17] in the past 40 years

[38:18] because I recognize

[38:19] the tunnel

[38:20] that he was running through.

[38:21] But he catches them

[38:22] and they all fly to,

[38:23] also,

[38:23] when did he buy a ticket?

[38:24] Did he buy the ticket

[38:25] on the plane?

[38:26] Like,

[38:26] come on,

[38:27] what's going on around here?

[38:29] The conductor

[38:29] comes down the aisle.

[38:31] Yeah,

[38:32] oh,

[38:32] we're going to New York.

[38:33] It's a $5 surcharge

[38:34] you bought on a plane.

[38:35] Click,

[38:35] chick,

[38:36] chick,

[38:36] punching out the holes

[38:37] on it.

Dan McCoy

[38:38] That was the earlier,

[38:39] earlier era

[38:40] of plane travel.

[38:41] Yeah,

[38:42] the guy walking down

[38:42] punching out holes.

Elliott Kalan

[38:44] I mean,

[38:44] there were times,

[38:45] I don't think you'd ever do it

[38:46] on cross-country flights,

[38:47] but there was a period

[38:48] in the 70s

[38:48] where there were

[38:49] commuter flights

[38:50] where if they had empty seats,

[38:51] they would sell them

[38:52] to you on the plane.

[38:53] Like,

[38:53] you could just walk up,

[38:54] get on the plane

[38:55] and find an empty seat

[38:57] and then you could

[38:57] buy it on the plane.

[38:58] Okay,

[38:58] so they're in New York

[38:59] and they have a magical

[39:00] Christmas time weekend.

[39:02] What better place

[39:03] to be in on Christmas

[39:05] than New York

[39:06] because it's got

[39:06] all the things

[39:07] that Christmas is all about.

[39:09] Snow that is

[39:10] covered in dog feces,

[39:12] homeless people dying

[39:13] under newspaper

[39:14] blankets.

[39:15] What other great things

[39:16] are in New York

[39:16] in Christmas?

[39:17] I haven't been there

[39:18] in a while, guys.

[39:18] What do you remember?

[39:19] The Rockefeller Christmas tree,

[39:20] Elliot?

[39:21] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[39:22] You got Christmas trees

[39:23] infested with owls.

[39:24] All sorts of stuff.

Dan McCoy

[39:27] Do they go skating?

[39:28] I assume I looked away

[39:30] from the TV

[39:31] and they went skating.

[39:31] She goes skating

[39:33] and they watch.

[39:33] She goes ice skating

[39:34] and they watch.

Stuart Wellington

[39:34] All the pizza stands

[39:35] sell holiday themed

[39:36] reindeer flavored

[39:38] pizza sausage meat.

[39:41] Do they?

Dan McCoy

[39:42] Reindeer flavored

[39:43] pizza sausage meat.

[39:44] Well, they

[39:45] grind up the pizza.

Elliott Kalan

[39:47] They grind up the pizza.

[39:48] Not reindeer sausage,

[39:49] reindeer flavor.

[39:50] They grind up the pizza

[39:52] and they stuff it

[39:52] into the sausage casing

[39:53] and they sprinkle a little

[39:54] artificial reindeer flavoring.

[39:56] It's not natural,

[39:57] but it tastes like,

[39:58] you know,

[39:59] bears say it tastes

[40:00] just like real reindeer.

[40:03] The weird thing then

[40:05] is that they tied.

Dan McCoy

[40:07] That's a bad business plan

[40:10] where your pizza

[40:11] is mostly marketed

[40:12] towards bears

[40:12] that wander into New York.

Elliott Kalan

[40:14] Yeah, I mean,

[40:15] we used to,

[40:16] back in the olden days

[40:17] where more bears wandered in.

[40:18] And that's Christmas time.

[40:19] All the bears come in

[40:20] just for the holiday tourists.

[40:22] The other thing that's weird

[40:23] is they take the sausages

[40:24] and tie them into a pretzel shape.

[40:25] So it's also a pretzel.

[40:28] Now,

[40:29] one thing that I,

[40:31] I wonder if now

[40:32] if I should talk about

[40:32] how much I've come

[40:34] to dislike Christmas

[40:35] as I get older

[40:36] or should we save that

[40:37] towards the end?

[40:38] I mean, sure.

Dan McCoy

[40:39] Alonzo's here.

[40:40] Why not, you know?

[40:42] Just say it to my face.

Elliott Kalan

[40:44] Alonzo,

Stuart Wellington

[40:45] I didn't want to have

[40:46] to tell you this this way.

[40:47] Alonzo is sitting in front

Stuart Wellington

[40:47] of like a massive Christmas tree.

[40:49] There's a huge display.

[40:51] There's a nativity scene.

[40:52] It looks like it's handmade.

[40:53] Did you make that yourself?

[40:55] Out of butter, yes.

Dan McCoy

[40:57] I mean,

[40:57] I will say Alonzo's

[40:59] real Christmas tree

[41:00] and I, you know,

[41:01] there's no way to say this.

[41:03] I was like,

[41:03] I don't want to insult Alonzo

[41:05] and I'm like,

[41:05] there's no way of saying this.

[41:06] It looks a little like

[41:08] the Charlie Brown

[41:09] Christmas tree.

[41:10] There are large gaps in it,

Alonso Duralde

[41:14] It is a silver tip fur,

[41:16] which is a very intentional choice

[41:18] and they're harder to come by

[41:19] because it's the kind of thing

[41:21] you see in like 40s movies

[41:22] all the time,

[41:22] but now if you want one,

[41:23] you have to really look for it.

[41:25] They really show off

[41:26] the ornaments well.

[41:27] So I know people's go-to

[41:29] for this kind of thing

[41:29] is Charlie Brown,

[41:30] but, you know,

[41:31] I'll tell you,

[41:31] come back at night.

[41:33] You'll see it all lit up.

[41:34] You'll get it.

Dan McCoy

[41:35] All right.

[41:35] I will come back

[41:36] to the Skype call at night.

Elliott Kalan

[41:39] Now,

[41:39] the problem is Dan's a vampire,

[41:41] so now Alonzo,

[41:42] he can just walk into your house

[41:43] whenever.

[41:44] Now that you've invited him.

[41:44] Oh, no,

[41:45] I've invited him.

[41:45] Now,

[41:46] here's the thing.

[41:47] I used to be agnostic on Christmas,

[41:49] by which I mean,

[41:50] I was like,

[41:50] whatever,

[41:51] someone else's holiday,

[41:52] but now that I have children

[41:53] and they are bombarded

[41:54] by Christmas stuff at school,

[41:56] I'm like,

[41:57] we got to stop.

[41:58] This has got to end now,

[41:59] and I'm finding myself becoming-

[42:01] You got to stop this?

[42:01] Yeah.

[42:02] You think you're going to stop Christmas?

[42:04] I must stop it from coming.

[42:05] So anyway,

[42:05] I've enlisted in the war on Christmas

[42:07] and I'm now going to be

[42:09] just burning down Christmas trees,

[42:10] but now I'm getting much more militant

[42:12] about him understanding

[42:13] what Hanukkah is all about

[42:14] than I would have been

[42:15] otherwise.

[42:16] I'm like,

[42:17] we're going to talk about

[42:17] some Maccabees, Sammy.

[42:19] Like,

[42:19] it's time to tell a Maccabee story.

[42:20] And he's like,

[42:21] can I open my present now?

[42:22] And I'm like,

[42:22] um,

[42:23] Antiochus wouldn't let you

[42:24] open that present.

[42:25] Let's talk about it, Sammy.

Dan McCoy

[42:27] I apologize,

[42:28] by the way,

[42:28] as a Gentile,

[42:29] that Christmas has caused,

[42:31] has forced you to elevate

[42:33] a minor holiday

[42:35] in the Jewish calendar

[42:36] to-

[42:37] TL, TL, Dan,

[42:38] too little, too late.

Elliott Kalan

[42:39] I mean,

[42:40] I appreciate that.

[42:41] I appreciate you taking on

[42:42] the shoulders of

[42:43] 2,000 years

[42:44] of anti-Semitism.

[42:47] Exactly.

[42:47] But it's too little,

[42:48] too late.

[42:49] And just when the shoe's

[42:51] on the other foot

[42:51] in a couple hundred years,

[42:52] and when Judaism's

[42:53] the world religion,

[42:54] just get ready to be

[42:55] bored of Passover.

Dan McCoy

[42:57] Look,

[42:57] I guess if by apologizing,

[42:59] I have now become

[43:00] the subject of all ire,

[43:03] you know,

[43:04] like that's a sacrifice

[43:04] that I gotta take.

[43:06] I gotta take it.

[43:06] Oh, wow, yeah.

Alonso Duralde

[43:07] Hey,

[43:07] I watched Love Lights Hanukkah

[43:09] on the Hallmark channel

[43:11] last night,

[43:11] so I like to think

[43:12] I'm doing my part

[43:12] to bridge that.

[43:13] Oh, wow.

Elliott Kalan

[43:14] You know what, Alonzo?

[43:15] You're one of the good goys.

[43:18] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[43:21] Alonzo Duralde,

[43:22] good for the Jews.

Elliott Kalan

[43:25] Look,

[43:26] I'll look-

[43:26] The goal of my life.

[43:27] If you need that,

[43:28] if you need that blurb

[43:30] attributed to me,

[43:30] I'll take it.

[43:32] Good for the Jews.

[43:33] I like it.

[43:35] So anyway,

[43:36] but Christmas in New York

[43:37] yet is a magical time.

[43:38] Anyway,

[43:38] they do all the made-

[43:39] all the-

[43:39] they-

[43:40] ice skating,

[43:40] they go see the Nutcracker,

[43:41] which did bring back

[43:42] memories to me

[43:43] because my family

[43:43] every year did go see

[43:44] the Nutcracker

[43:45] when I was young,

[43:46] which was fantastic.

[43:47] They step in wet cement

[43:48] and ruin a construction project

[43:50] and I'm just hoping

[43:51] it's Trump-related,

[43:52] in which case,

[43:53] great.

[43:54] Yeah,

[43:55] ruin away.

[43:56] And Nikki reads them

[43:57] her list.

[43:58] They're sitting in,

[43:59] what is it?

[44:00] In Sherman Square.

[44:02] Is that it?

[44:02] It's like right by the-

[44:03] by the big statue

[44:04] of General Sherman

[44:05] at the corner of the park

[44:07] and they say,

[44:07] she's reading this list

[44:08] of things she's never done

[44:09] or had

[44:10] and mentions

[44:10] I've never had sex

[44:11] and I was like,

[44:12] movie?

[44:13] This cannot turn into

[44:14] Dudley Moore

[44:15] being a hero

[44:16] by having sex with Nikki.

[44:17] This cannot turn into that.

[44:18] That is not okay.

[44:19] Here's the thing,

[44:20] like,

Dan McCoy

[44:21] if this was,

[44:21] again,

[44:22] a smarter movie,

[44:23] if this is a movie about-

[44:25] put that in,

Stuart Wellington

[44:25] you gotta do the work movie.

Dan McCoy

[44:27] No,

[44:28] no,

[44:28] no.

[44:28] If this is about

[44:29] a 13-year-old girl

[44:31] who is dealing heavily

[44:33] with her,

[44:36] you know,

[44:36] her,

[44:36] basically her death sentence

[44:37] rather than

[44:38] this,

[44:39] like,

[44:39] weird backdoor,

[44:41] like,

[44:41] tragedy romance,

[44:43] like,

[44:43] if it's really about

[44:44] this girl dealing with things,

[44:45] like,

[44:46] I would understand this

[44:47] as a conversation

[44:48] she has with her therapist,

[44:49] you know,

[44:50] like,

[44:50] she's of an age

[44:51] where she's,

[44:51] like,

[44:52] beginning to have

[44:52] these regrets,

[44:53] like,

[44:53] this is a thing

[44:54] I will not experience

[44:55] in my life.

[44:56] Adults get to experience,

[44:57] I won't.

[44:58] But,

[44:58] like,

[44:59] saying it as part of her list

[45:00] to her mom

[45:01] and her,

[45:02] like,

[45:02] the guy she's trying

[45:04] to,

[45:04] like,

[45:04] manipulate into being her dad

[45:06] is weird.

[45:08] Yeah.

Alonso Duralde

[45:09] Or that I was worried-

[45:10] I've never seen an X-rated movie

[45:12] was also on that list.

[45:13] Yeah,

[45:13] that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[45:15] I wonder-

[45:15] there is,

[45:16] I mean,

[45:17] I guess there is a-

[45:18] if they were making this movie

[45:19] in, like,

[45:20] the late 60s,

[45:21] early 70s,

[45:22] I could see a version

[45:22] of where they're like,

[45:23] well,

[45:23] let's do all those things

[45:24] and they're,

[45:25] like,

[45:25] taking her to a porno theater.

[45:26] We're off to Times Square.

[45:28] And they're just hiring,

[45:29] like,

[45:30] hiring a hustler

[45:31] to sleep with her

[45:32] for one night.

[45:32] All right.

[45:33] Let's not go far down this road.

[45:35] Can we watch Midnight Cowboy?

[45:36] Does that count?

[45:36] Yeah,

[45:37] I mean,

[45:37] technically X-rated,

[45:38] but it's one of those-

[45:38] I could see it being one of those,

[45:39] like,

[45:40] those comedies

[45:40] that were very outré

[45:41] in the late 60s

[45:43] and then you watch them now

[45:44] this is not aged well.

[45:45] This-

[45:45] I understand that you were

[45:46] rebelling against something,

[45:47] but this is not-

[45:48] this is not something.

[45:49] Most French comedies

[45:50] of the 1970s.

[45:51] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[45:51] Certain things

[45:53] you wanted to rebel against

[45:54] should not have been

[45:55] rebelled against.

Elliott Kalan

[45:56] Yeah,

[45:57] yeah.

[45:58] So,

[45:59] but she,

[46:00] instead,

[46:01] they just have her drive

[46:02] a horse carriage

[46:03] around Central Park.

[46:04] So I was like,

[46:05] okay,

[46:05] fine,

[46:06] movie,

[46:06] you know what?

[46:07] That's basically

[46:08] like making love.

[46:09] That's good enough.

[46:10] Yeah.

[46:10] Potato,

[46:11] potato.

[46:11] The feel of being in control

[46:12] of a big,

[46:13] dumb animal.

Dan McCoy

[46:14] Stuart,

[46:15] as someone who's had sex

[46:16] like two,

[46:17] three times,

[46:17] like,

[46:18] you know that it's just

[46:19] as good as getting

[46:20] in a horse-drawn carriage.

Alonso Duralde

[46:21] And guys-

[46:22] But have you driven

[46:23] a horse-drawn carriage?

Stuart Wellington

[46:24] Yeah,

[46:24] of course I did.

[46:25] That was when I was

[46:26] on my way to that

[46:27] X-rated movie I watched.

[46:30] Which one was it,

[46:31] Stuart?

[46:32] Which one?

[46:34] Well,

[46:34] it was a short,

[46:35] it was a short video.

[46:36] I saw it on somebody's computer.

[46:38] It was about,

[46:39] like 15 seconds long.

[46:41] Wow.

[46:42] And it had-

[46:43] It was my Ruff Rickenridge.

[46:44] It had some very interesting

[46:46] sound design.

[46:47] Let me say that.

Elliott Kalan

[46:49] I'm so confused

[46:51] about what the reality

[46:52] of this vid is.

[46:53] Like what?

[46:54] So,

[46:55] that night

[46:55] at Nikki's instigation,

[46:57] they have a little

[46:58] sort of play wedding

[46:58] with her dead bird

[47:00] voodoo fetish,

[47:01] which she brought with her.

[47:02] It's amazingly

[47:02] not rotted by this point

[47:04] as the priest.

[47:05] And Nikki conducts

[47:06] the ceremony

[47:06] where she has them

[47:08] proclaim vows

[47:10] of eternal memory

[47:11] of the love

[47:12] of this moment

[47:12] and they're a family now.

[47:14] And it is so,

[47:14] it's like,

[47:15] it is such a midsummer

[47:17] type scene

[47:17] where I'm like,

[47:18] but they think it is

[47:19] touching and beautiful.

[47:20] It was very-

Dan McCoy

[47:21] This is so upsetting

[47:22] that this young girl,

[47:24] yeah,

[47:24] is like forcing,

[47:26] again,

[47:27] these two adults,

[47:27] one of whom has a family,

[47:29] into this mock wedding.

[47:30] It feels like

[47:32] the Twilight Zone episode,

[47:34] It's a Good Life,

[47:35] where it's like,

[47:35] it's good.

[47:36] It's good that you're

[47:37] making us marry each other.

Elliott Kalan

[47:38] It's good you're making me

[47:39] abandon my wife and child.

[47:41] Yes,

[47:41] it's good you're making me

[47:42] sleep with your mom.

[47:45] Yes,

[47:45] Nikki,

[47:46] these are all good things.

[47:46] It's a very,

[47:47] it's like,

[47:48] it's,

[47:48] it's this weird,

[47:49] someone who like,

[47:50] it feels like someone

[47:51] who lives in a movie

[47:52] made it.

[47:53] Like someone who's not,

[47:54] not fully aware

[47:55] of human emotions,

[47:55] but like,

[47:56] lives in movies

[47:57] isn't this adorable?

[47:59] there's,

[47:59] there's so much going,

[48:00] like,

[48:01] and what,

[48:01] what has,

[48:02] what has gone wrong

[48:03] in this,

[48:03] in this girl's relationship

[48:04] with her mother

[48:05] that she's like,

[48:06] this is an okay way

[48:07] to do things.

[48:07] Like,

[48:08] I'm like,

[48:08] we've kidnapped this man

[48:10] and now he's,

Stuart Wellington

[48:11] isn't this,

[48:12] isn't this scene like,

[48:14] like mentioned on the poster?

[48:15] Like the poster's like,

[48:17] the girl's dying,

[48:18] the guys,

[48:18] the groom is already married

[48:20] and the bride is in her sweatpants

[48:21] or something.

[48:23] I'm obviously,

[48:23] that's a different poster.

Elliott Kalan

[48:25] Yeah,

[48:25] it's on the,

[48:25] it's on the poster.

[48:26] I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[48:26] if not,

[48:27] I love that.

[48:28] Or maybe it's like

[48:29] the tagline listed on IMDb

[48:30] after you have to search for it

[48:31] three times

[48:32] because it keeps telling you

[48:33] not found.

[48:35] One of the things,

[48:36] I swear,

[48:36] I've never heard of this movie.

[48:37] One of the things

Elliott Kalan

[48:39] I did read about it

[48:40] was that

[48:40] the promotional release

[48:43] for the movie

[48:43] made a big deal

[48:45] about how Mary Tyler Moore

[48:46] and Dudley Moore

[48:47] have the same last name,

[48:48] which is,

[48:49] if that's what you're

[48:49] selling the movie on,

[48:50] you do not have much.

[48:51] You do not have much

[48:52] to go on.

Alonso Duralde

[48:54] I'm so glad

[48:54] they pointed that out

[48:55] because I would have missed it.

Stuart Wellington

[48:56] Yeah,

[48:56] it would be like

[48:57] if the Avengers

[48:58] press material was like,

[48:59] there are so many Chris's

[49:00] in this fucking movie.

Elliott Kalan

[49:05] Actually,

[49:05] that should be

[49:06] the Avengers re-release

[49:07] around Christmas time

[49:07] and they go,

[49:08] Merry Christmas

[49:09] and they just show

[49:10] all the Chris's.

Dan McCoy

[49:10] Paul Newman

[49:11] and Gary Oldman

Stuart Wellington

[49:13] in the same movie?

[49:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[49:17] If they touch,

[49:18] will they explode?

Elliott Kalan

[49:20] That is what happened.

[49:21] But anyway,

[49:23] because the movie

[49:23] It will become man.

[49:25] The movie was called

[49:26] The Incredible Exploding Man.

[49:28] So they have that ceremony.

[49:30] They're a family now

[49:31] in the eyes of

[49:32] whatever demon

[49:33] is living inside

[49:34] the dead bird fetish

[49:35] that Nikki has created

[49:36] and which is driving them

[49:39] to their doom.

[49:40] The next day,

[49:41] Patrick arranges

[49:41] or rather demands

[49:43] a ballet audition

[49:44] for Nikki.

[49:45] Who is running

[49:45] these auditions?

[49:46] Is it the hotel manager

[49:47] from Ghostbusters?

[49:48] I believe it is.

[49:50] And she really impresses them

[49:52] with her audition.

[49:54] And they're like,

[49:54] you know what?

[49:56] We've got to use her.

[49:57] Today.

[49:58] Because I know

[49:59] this is an all-kids

[49:59] production of The Nutcracker

[50:01] and it will destroy

[50:02] our young star

[50:03] that she is being replaced

[50:04] by a new person

[50:05] we've only known for a day.

[50:06] But we are doing this

[50:07] right now.

Dan McCoy

[50:08] Yeah, they don't just

[50:09] stick her in the...

[50:10] She's like the lead

[50:12] all of a sudden.

[50:14] And I looked away

[50:16] from the movie

[50:16] for like a minute.

[50:18] And then I came back

[50:19] and I'm like,

[50:20] what is going on?

[50:21] Like, how is it possible

[50:23] that in one day

[50:25] she auditioned

[50:26] and now they were

[50:27] putting her in

[50:28] opening night

[50:30] of The Nutcracker

[50:31] at Lincoln Center

[50:32] and then I'm just like,

[50:33] you know what, movie?

[50:35] No explanation

[50:36] you're going to give me.

[50:37] It's going to make me

[50:38] swallow this.

[50:39] So, whatever.

[50:40] It's like the dress rehearsal,

[50:41] I think.

Alonso Duralde

[50:41] Like, that's their excuse

[50:43] for this thing.

[50:43] And she sort of comes in

[50:45] midway through

[50:45] but she gets like

[50:46] the meatiest part

[50:47] of the dancing.

[50:48] Oh yeah, she's clarion.

[50:49] I think there's

[50:49] an unspoken conversation

[50:51] about how Dreyfus Cosmetics

[50:52] is underwriting

[50:53] their next season.

Stuart Wellington

[50:54] There's also a great scene

[50:56] where all the young ballerinas

[50:57] are applying

[50:58] their own makeup

[50:59] for this production

[51:01] and they're all kids

[51:03] they wouldn't all be able

[51:04] to do the same

[51:04] fucking thing?

[51:07] Like,

[51:08] I don't have kids

[51:09] but I'm the master

[51:10] of stagecraft.

Elliott Kalan

[51:11] Yeah.

[51:12] I like that that was

[51:13] the thing you really

[51:14] bumped on in the scene.

[51:16] Like,

[51:16] where's the makeup person?

[51:19] So yeah,

[51:19] she gets to be Clara

[51:20] for a little bit in it.

[51:23] Well, to be fair,

[51:24] okay,

[51:24] the movie makes it seem

[51:25] as if this is

[51:26] the New York ballet

[51:28] Balanchine production

[51:30] of The Nutcracker

[51:31] that they do every year.

[51:31] This is like

[51:32] some kind of kids theater

[51:33] different choreography production.

[51:35] So the movie

[51:35] pulls a little

[51:36] sleight of hand there.

[51:38] And meanwhile,

[51:39] she's rehearsing all day

[51:40] this sick girl

[51:41] who's dying of leukemia.

[51:42] They are pushing her

[51:42] to the brink

[51:43] with this ballet rehearsal.

[51:46] Patrick and Charlotte

[51:46] go out and buy

[51:47] a Christmas tree

[51:47] and carry it by hand

[51:48] into a hotel.

[51:50] If I walked into a hotel

[51:51] with a Christmas tree

[51:51] in my hands,

[51:52] I bet the hotel

[51:52] would have some questions.

[51:53] But I guess

[51:54] things were looser

[51:55] back then.

[51:56] It is an extremely

[51:57] poorly attended

[51:58] Nutcracker performance.

[51:59] But I guess that's,

[52:00] I guess it is

[52:00] the dress rehearsal.

S5

[52:01] But I was just amazed.

[52:02] I was like,

[52:02] they couldn't fill

[52:03] these seats a little more.

[52:04] This is a big

[52:04] Hollywood movie.

[52:05] There's nobody there.

Elliott Kalan

[52:07] But she dances

[52:09] in The Nutcracker

[52:10] and this section

[52:11] feels like it happens

[52:13] for six weeks.

[52:14] There is a lot

[52:15] of Nutcracker

[52:16] dancing in this.

Dan McCoy

[52:17] You say that

[52:18] as someone who

[52:18] has gone to the ballet

[52:19] and enjoyed it.

Elliott Kalan

[52:21] Someone who loves ballet,

[52:22] especially loves

[52:23] The Nutcracker,

[52:23] loves the music.

[52:24] I was like,

[52:25] oh, they're putting her in

[52:26] right after they kill

[52:27] the Rat King.

[52:28] Oh, this is the part

[52:29] where she and the Nutcracker

[52:30] takes off his mask

[52:31] and he's a prince now.

[52:33] But seeing afterwards

[52:36] that it's a professional

[52:36] ballerina that they have

[52:37] in the playing the part,

[52:38] I was like,

[52:38] okay, I get it now.

[52:39] But it is a long time

[52:40] where you're just watching

[52:41] Dudley Moore and Mary

[52:42] Telly Moore watching

[52:43] a children's production

[52:44] of The Nutcracker.

[52:45] And I kept looking at

[52:46] how much time was left

[52:48] and being like,

[52:49] they're really running

[52:49] out of the clock

[52:50] with this Nutcracker

[52:51] performance.

[52:52] Like there can't be

[52:53] too much going on

[52:54] after this.

[52:55] They throw flowers

[52:56] at the stage.

[52:57] Everyone applauds.

[52:58] Her final dream,

[52:59] as it turns out,

[53:00] is to take the subway home.

[53:01] This also took me back

[53:02] because it is 1980s

[53:03] graffiti covered,

[53:04] like disgusting subway train.

[53:07] It's so, wow.

[53:08] Really, it was what it was

[53:09] like when I was a kid.

[53:10] But she has some kind

[53:12] of illness spell,

[53:13] movie sickness spell.

[53:14] And she's in pain

[53:16] and they can't,

[53:17] they have a,

[53:17] Patrick and Charlotte

[53:18] argue for a while

[53:19] over whether they should

[53:20] stop the train or not.

[53:21] we got to stop the train,

[53:22] my baby.

[53:23] And Dudley Moore's like,

[53:24] oh, but it will just

[53:25] go to the next stop.

[53:26] That would be quicker

[53:26] than if you,

[53:27] and it was so funny

[53:27] that they're having

[53:28] the same conversation

[53:29] that I would have

[53:30] with my wife

[53:30] if our train

[53:31] was just stopped

[53:32] in a tunnel.

[53:32] It's like,

[53:33] do we get off

[53:33] at the next stop

[53:34] or do we just like,

[53:35] should we take a cab

[53:35] from here?

[53:36] And all the New Yorkers

[53:37] try to help

[53:38] but they mainly just

[53:39] bustle around

[53:40] and there's nothing

[53:40] they can do.

[53:41] Nikki passes out.

Dan McCoy

[53:42] I will say about this scene

[53:43] it would be very hard

[53:45] to make a scene

[53:45] where a child dies

[53:47] on a subway

[53:47] and not be moved

[53:48] but I,

[53:49] so maybe it's a low bar

[53:51] but I,

[53:52] it was a distressing scene

[53:53] because you see all

[53:54] of these other people

[53:56] on the subway

[53:57] watch this play out,

[53:59] watch this drama play out

[54:00] and I thought that

[54:00] that was actually

[54:01] kind of a smart

[54:02] directorial choice

[54:03] like the amount

[54:04] of time they spend

[54:05] on like the faces

[54:06] of other commuters

[54:08] who are like,

[54:09] holy shit,

[54:09] there's a child

[54:10] dying in front of me.

[54:11] Whose,

[54:11] whose commute,

[54:11] I thought you were

Alonso Duralde

[54:12] going to say,

[54:13] I thought you were

[54:14] going to say

[54:14] it'd be hard

[54:15] to have a scene

[54:16] about the death

[54:16] of a child

[54:17] and not make it moving

[54:17] and somehow

[54:18] they did it.

[54:19] Somehow they managed.

[54:21] Because,

[54:21] yeah,

[54:22] as Stuart pointed out

[54:23] earlier,

[54:23] she has not displayed

[54:24] a single symptom,

[54:26] a moment of discomfort,

[54:28] like nothing.

[54:28] This whole movie

[54:29] she has been carrying

[54:30] on like everything's great.

[54:32] She has just

[54:32] exerted herself

[54:34] through this very

[54:34] exhausting

[54:35] ballet performance

[54:36] and then suddenly

[54:37] it's on the subway

[54:38] where she literally

[54:39] just says,

[54:39] it hurts

[54:41] and then bam,

[54:42] drops dead.

[54:43] I'm like,

[54:43] that's,

[54:44] oh,

[54:44] come on,

[54:45] movie.

[54:45] Like,

[54:46] you know,

[54:46] I get that as a dancer

[54:47] you leave it on the floor

[54:48] but like this is just

[54:49] to another level

[54:51] of ridiculous

[54:51] and then they keep

[54:52] cutting to like

[54:52] other people watching

[54:53] including this one

[54:54] boy who's like

[54:56] about 10 years old

[54:57] who just stares

[54:58] as though

[54:59] he has no interest

[55:01] in what's going on

[55:01] and they cut back

[55:02] to him three times.

[55:04] Yeah,

[55:04] that's New York.

[55:05] I mean,

[55:06] and I kept waiting

[55:07] like,

[55:07] is he going to break?

[55:08] Is he going to start like,

[55:09] is he going to show emotion

[55:10] and be overwhelmed

[55:11] by this moment?

[55:11] Nope,

Elliott Kalan

[55:12] nope,

[55:12] never.

[55:12] That was,

[55:13] and ironically,

[55:14] that,

[55:15] like Dan's saying

[55:15] when they were cutting

[55:16] through these other people

[55:16] on the train,

[55:16] I like that because

[55:17] it was one of the few times

[55:19] they broke the like

[55:20] hermetic seal

[55:20] on this relationship

[55:21] where it was like,

[55:22] oh,

[55:22] they do exist

[55:22] in a world

[55:23] of other people

[55:23] but that kid,

[55:24] Alonzo,

[55:25] his total lack

[55:26] of response,

[55:27] I was like,

[55:28] yes,

[55:28] that is what,

[55:29] that is,

[55:29] that's a real

[55:30] New Yorker response.

[55:31] Yeah,

[55:31] on the subway

[55:32] is you're seeing that

[55:33] and like,

[55:34] oh,

[55:35] whatever.

[55:36] And I guess,

[55:37] I mean,

[55:37] not my business.

Dan McCoy

[55:38] It could be more

[55:39] of a critique

[55:39] than a compliment

[55:40] the more I think about it.

[55:41] The fact that I'm more moved

[55:42] by the bystanders

[55:45] who we've never seen

[55:46] before in the movie

[55:46] than either of the characters

[55:49] who are supposed

[55:49] to love this other character.

Elliott Kalan

[55:52] That's a pretty strong critique,

[55:54] That's the movie

[55:54] not doing its job

[55:55] when you're like,

[55:56] who's this kid?

[55:57] Who's this,

[55:57] like,

[55:58] I did think that kid

[55:59] was more interesting

[55:59] than anything else

[56:00] going on in the movie.

[56:00] I was like,

[56:01] who's this little jerk

[56:02] who doesn't care

[56:02] that this girl is dying?

[56:04] What's his story?

[56:04] Who's this hardened badass?

[56:08] So,

[56:08] one other thing.

[56:09] He grew up to be

[56:10] Stephen Miller.

[56:10] No.

[56:11] Oh,

[56:11] God.

[56:12] Oh,

[56:12] they should have

[56:13] thrown him under the train

[56:14] as a child.

[56:16] I would never advise

[56:16] doing that now

[56:17] to a human being.

[56:18] So,

[56:18] they run off the train.

[56:20] That's when we see

[56:20] it was an M train

[56:21] from Lincoln Center.

[56:22] Whatever.

[56:22] We don't have time

[56:23] to worry about that.

[56:24] Because,

[56:25] because it's the next,

[56:26] because we're in an ambulance

[56:27] all of a sudden.

[56:28] Going across a bridge?

[56:29] No,

[56:29] we're going down,

[56:30] well,

[56:31] it doesn't matter

[56:31] what street we're going down.

[56:32] Anyway,

[56:32] anytime I see New York

[56:33] in a movie,

[56:34] I'm like,

[56:34] geography I understand.

[56:35] I know this stuff.

[56:36] So,

[56:37] the next morning,

[56:38] Nikki has died.

[56:40] We know because Patrick

[56:41] is reading to her mom

[56:42] Nikki's last testament

[56:43] and journal.

[56:44] She talks about

[56:45] how she had a wonderful life

[56:46] and she tells them

[56:47] not to be sad,

[56:48] donate all her things,

[56:49] and she would like

[56:50] her ballet shoes

[56:50] to be worn

[56:51] by a famous ballerina.

[56:52] Yeah.

[56:52] And she implies

[56:54] that her last,

[56:55] I think the implication

[56:55] is her last wish

[56:56] is for Patrick

[56:57] or Charlotte

[56:57] to finally have sex.

[56:58] It was not totally clear,

[57:00] but it was like,

[57:00] you know what I want you

[57:01] to do,

[57:02] hint, hint, wink, wink.

Dan McCoy

[57:03] Or just be together,

[57:06] which is like,

[57:07] wow,

[57:07] what a manipulative

[57:08] dead kid.

Stuart Wellington

[57:10] If you love me.

[57:12] And she was like,

[57:12] donate my entire inheritance

[57:16] what?

[57:18] That's like,

[57:18] wait,

[57:19] do you want me to die now?

[57:21] Do I have to be buried

[57:22] in your fucking tomb,

[57:23] kid?

Elliott Kalan

[57:24] Yeah,

[57:24] Mary Tyler Moore

[57:25] is supposed to give away

[57:25] all of her money

[57:26] and throw herself

[57:27] on the funeral pyre

[57:28] of Nikki's grave.

[57:31] I would like you both

[57:33] to be buried

[57:33] in my pyramid with me

[57:35] to take care of me

[57:36] and be my parents

[57:36] in the afterlife.

[57:37] I would like Dudley Moore's

[57:39] organs in a jar.

[57:40] Yeah, of course.

Stuart Wellington

[57:41] Very small jar.

[57:42] Stuff his corpse

[57:42] with sawdust.

[57:44] So the,

[57:45] so is this when

[57:46] we finally get to a,

[57:47] we get to their,

[57:49] you know,

[57:49] their heartfelt goodbye

[57:50] at the TWA terminal

[57:52] at JFK?

[57:53] Because I recognize

[57:54] those landmarks.

Elliott Kalan

[57:56] Mm-hmm.

[57:56] And also,

[57:57] but first we get

[57:58] to see them very,

[57:59] we get to see the whole process

[58:00] as they pick out

[58:01] and buy a magazine

[58:02] at the newsstand

[58:03] of that airport.

[58:04] Which,

[58:05] it was only afterwards

[58:06] that I was like,

[58:06] that was a weird choice

[58:07] that we spent that much time

[58:08] watching them pay

[58:09] for this magazine.

[58:10] Yeah.

Alonso Duralde

[58:12] Well,

[58:12] you see the men in black

[58:13] in the background.

[58:14] That was what that scene was.

Elliott Kalan

[58:15] Oh, I see.

[58:16] Set up the later franchise.

[58:18] That would be amazing

[58:20] if it's like,

[58:20] yeah,

[58:20] the whole thing

[58:21] was a backdoor pilot

[58:22] for this men in black room.

[58:24] So,

[58:25] they say goodbye.

[58:26] She says,

[58:26] I'm going to go to France

[58:27] for a while.

[58:28] I have a house there

[58:28] that we used to go to

[58:29] with my dad

[58:30] just to remind us

[58:31] that she's super rich

[58:32] and has essentially

[58:34] used this congressional candidate

[58:36] as her family play thing

[58:38] for a few weeks

[58:39] and kind of wrecked his life.

[58:42] Not that he wasn't asking for.

[58:43] Not really.

[58:43] I mean,

[58:43] doesn't he get everything he wants?

[58:44] He's equally guilty.

[58:46] I guess he does.

[58:46] They say they love each other.

[58:49] First,

[58:50] they take a walk in Central Park.

[58:51] Then,

[58:51] they go to the airport.

[58:52] They buy that magazine.

[58:53] And then,

[58:54] the last scene is

[58:55] we see the text

[58:56] of a telegram

[58:57] that Patrick is writing

[58:58] over footage

[59:00] of Nikki and Charlotte

[59:01] dancing together

[59:02] in the ballet studio.

[59:02] And he says,

[59:03] hey,

[59:04] to France,

[59:04] hey,

[59:05] I won the election.

[59:07] How are you doing?

[59:08] Am I still a thing with you?

[59:09] Would love to hear from you.

[59:11] It's basically like,

[59:12] it's kind of like

[59:13] a booty telegram

[59:14] in a way.

[59:14] It's like,

[59:14] hey,

[59:15] I'm a congressman now.

[59:16] You up?

[59:16] What's going on?

[59:17] Who's on the fucking politics beat

Stuart Wellington

[59:20] who just didn't break this story

[59:23] about a congressional candidate?

Elliott Kalan

[59:24] That was the other thing.

[59:26] He wins the election

[59:27] after abandoning his family

[59:28] during the campaign.

[59:30] Like,

[59:31] we just saw a guy

[59:32] lose a Senate race

[59:33] because he was texting

[59:34] with some people.

[59:35] Only in California,

[59:36] you know.

[59:37] It was the 80s.

[59:39] I guess,

[59:40] I mean,

[59:41] they did,

[59:41] at the time,

[59:42] we did have a president

[59:43] who was the president

[59:43] also of the Hellfire Club

[59:45] Inner Circle

[59:45] and was presiding

[59:47] over S&M orgies.

[59:48] Guys,

[59:48] I'm trying to start this rumor

[59:50] that Reagan was head

[59:50] of the Hellfire Club

[59:52] S&M orgies.

[59:53] Oh, okay.

[59:53] Let's get it on the ground floor

[59:54] on this one.

[59:55] Yeah.

[59:56] This is going to be a bit,

[59:57] I mean,

[59:57] in 40 years,

[59:58] it's just going to be

[59:58] established fact,

[59:59] but now I'm trying

[1:00:00] to get it started.

[1:00:00] Yeah,

[1:00:01] I guess it's weird

[1:00:02] that the,

[1:00:03] I think of the 80s

[1:00:04] as a much more like

[1:00:05] uptight time,

[1:00:06] but you're right.

[1:00:06] We said,

[1:00:07] Alonzo earlier,

[1:00:07] that's like the remnants

[1:00:09] of the 70s

[1:00:09] are still floating through

[1:00:10] and the 70s

[1:00:11] was the time

[1:00:12] when middle-aged people

[1:00:13] wanted their 60s,

[1:00:14] I guess,

[1:00:15] and were just like,

[1:00:16] just doing what they wanted

[1:00:17] and forgetting about

[1:00:18] the damage.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:20] Yeah,

[1:00:21] well,

[1:00:21] that is definitely

[1:00:22] the like fucking

[1:00:23] wheelhouse

[1:00:24] this movie is in.

[1:00:25] This is like,

[1:00:26] this is the,

[1:00:27] I don't know,

[1:00:28] like 70s soft rock

[1:00:30] male ballad

[1:00:31] of movies,

[1:00:32] but it also like,

[1:00:34] you know,

[1:00:34] there wasn't the media presence,

[1:00:36] I think,

[1:00:36] at the time,

[1:00:37] to be like,

[1:00:38] constantly on Scandal Watch,

[1:00:40] but it did seem strange

[1:00:41] watching it today

[1:00:42] being like,

[1:00:43] someone's gonna break

[1:00:44] the story,

[1:00:45] right?

[1:00:45] That's gonna be a plot point.

[1:00:47] Why isn't this on HuffPo

Alonso Duralde

[1:00:48] right now?

[1:00:49] And this was literally

[1:00:50] a very 70s kind of thing

[1:00:52] in that this is a script

[1:00:53] that knocked around

[1:00:54] for quite a while

[1:00:55] before getting made.

[1:00:56] Like,

[1:00:56] there's this insane array

[1:00:58] of people who were

[1:00:59] attached to it

[1:01:01] at some point

[1:01:01] and who were gonna be in it

[1:01:02] that was like,

[1:01:03] you know,

[1:01:04] Nick Nolte

[1:01:04] and Audrey Hepburn

[1:01:05] and like all the,

[1:01:06] like this,

[1:01:06] just list of actors

[1:01:08] and actresses

[1:01:08] before they got

[1:01:09] to the magical combination

[1:01:11] of the Moors here.

[1:01:14] Well,

[1:01:14] also,

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:15] screenplay by Alan Moore.

Alonso Duralde

[1:01:19] That's why the characters

[1:01:20] were,

[1:01:20] the characters,

[1:01:21] He took his name off

[1:01:21] of this too.

[1:01:22] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:22] well,

[1:01:22] the characters

[1:01:22] were originally

[1:01:23] Mr. McCauver

[1:01:24] and Little Nell.

[1:01:26] That's why,

[1:01:26] that's why it was

[1:01:27] an Alan Moore project,

[1:01:28] yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:29] Well,

[1:01:29] speaking of the screenplay

[1:01:30] and speaking about

[1:01:31] how it bounced around

[1:01:32] for a while,

[1:01:32] thank you for giving me

[1:01:33] the opening to say

[1:01:34] that this is based

[1:01:35] on a novel

[1:01:35] and the novel

[1:01:37] is written by someone

[1:01:37] named Fred Mustard Stewart.

[1:01:41] Fred Mustard Stewart.

Alonso Duralde

[1:01:44] Oh,

[1:01:44] yeah.

[1:01:44] And the screenplay

[1:01:45] is by David Seltzer

[1:01:46] and Seltzer

[1:01:46] will take out Mustard.

[1:01:48] That was,

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:48] yeah,

[1:01:49] this was a joke

[1:01:50] that I considered making

[1:01:51] and then decided not to

[1:01:52] where I was gonna be like,

[1:01:53] oh,

[1:01:53] they're halfway to a deli

[1:01:54] in this movie.

[1:01:55] Mustard and Seltzer.

[1:01:56] Oh,

[1:01:56] wow.

[1:01:57] But,

[1:01:57] the,

[1:01:58] it's a,

[1:01:59] wait,

[1:02:00] wait,

[1:02:01] that's one that you

[1:02:02] wouldn't say?

[1:02:03] Yeah.

[1:02:04] It was,

[1:02:04] I felt like I am not yet

[1:02:06] an old enough Jew

[1:02:07] to tell that particular joke.

[1:02:09] Give me,

[1:02:10] and then the waiter

[1:02:10] brings you a Tony Bill.

[1:02:15] That's the director's name.

[1:02:17] Oh,

[1:02:17] the portions are so small

[1:02:19] I do want Dudley Moore.

[1:02:21] so,

Alonso Duralde

[1:02:22] by the way,

[1:02:24] this is the same guy

[1:02:25] who directed Crazy People,

[1:02:26] so clearly he loved

[1:02:27] working with Dudley Moore

[1:02:28] so much.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:29] They opened up

[1:02:29] a restaurant together,

[1:02:30] it turns out.

[1:02:31] Tony Bill and Dudley Moore.

[1:02:33] They,

[1:02:33] they were real,

[1:02:34] they were real friends.

[1:02:36] And,

[1:02:36] so it's the,

[1:02:38] but anyway,

[1:02:38] so Dan,

[1:02:39] you had,

[1:02:39] do you want to talk about

[1:02:40] the other,

[1:02:41] anything about the novel

[1:02:42] or just that the guy's name

[1:02:43] had Mustard in it?

Dan McCoy

[1:02:44] Just the guy's name

[1:02:45] had Mustard in it,

[1:02:46] that's all.

[1:02:46] Although I will say,

[1:02:47] like in terms of

[1:02:48] what we were talking about earlier,

[1:02:50] like script doctor stuff,

[1:02:51] I think that there could be

[1:02:53] an interesting movie

[1:02:54] in the idea of like,

[1:02:55] okay,

[1:02:56] there's this idealistic girl

[1:02:57] who's dying.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:58] Okay,

[1:02:59] pitch it to me,

[1:03:00] really give us the enthusiasm.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:02] Dudley Moore has no family.

[1:03:05] Let's,

[1:03:05] let's,

[1:03:06] let's,

[1:03:06] let's correct that right now.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:08] You're saying Dudley Moore

[1:03:10] has less people in his life.

[1:03:11] Okay,

[1:03:12] great.

[1:03:12] I love it.

[1:03:13] He has no strings.

[1:03:14] He has no strings.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:15] There is no romance

[1:03:17] between him and the mother.

[1:03:20] Maybe even like,

[1:03:20] there's a mother and a father,

[1:03:22] both of whom are sort of,

[1:03:23] like,

[1:03:23] reasonably suspicious

[1:03:25] that this is a weird relationship,

[1:03:26] but,

[1:03:27] you know,

[1:03:28] come to accept this man.

[1:03:29] But like,

[1:03:30] it is more about

[1:03:31] this young woman

[1:03:32] who is dying,

[1:03:33] who is idealistic,

[1:03:34] and believes in this person,

[1:03:36] this,

[1:03:37] and this politician

[1:03:38] who maybe,

[1:03:41] like,

[1:03:41] does hold these ideals

[1:03:42] on the outside

[1:03:44] and like,

[1:03:45] and believes in them,

[1:03:47] but doesn't necessarily

[1:03:48] make human connection well

[1:03:51] and does with this

[1:03:52] young girl.

[1:03:54] And it would still be

[1:03:55] kind of a cliche story,

[1:03:57] but I think it would eliminate

[1:03:59] a lot of the,

[1:04:00] like,

[1:04:01] emotional problems

[1:04:02] I had with it.

Alonso Duralde

[1:04:03] Okay,

[1:04:03] I'm,

[1:04:04] so the dying girl

[1:04:04] is interested in politics

[1:04:05] and not so much

[1:04:06] in pimping out her mother.

[1:04:07] Okay,

[1:04:08] exactly.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:09] Okay,

[1:04:09] fair.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:09] That's my first fix,

[1:04:11] my screenplay fix.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:12] I think that's a good,

[1:04:13] that's a good,

[1:04:13] so,

[1:04:14] and you're saying that

[1:04:15] he's like a,

[1:04:15] he's a real policy wonk.

[1:04:17] So she knows

[1:04:18] from following the blogs,

[1:04:19] we're updating it,

[1:04:20] it's not set in the 80s anymore.

[1:04:21] She knows from following

[1:04:22] the blogs that,

[1:04:23] like,

[1:04:23] he's got all the answers,

[1:04:25] he's this young progressive,

[1:04:26] or maybe,

[1:04:26] maybe an older progressive,

[1:04:28] I don't know,

[1:04:29] who's,

[1:04:30] who's got,

[1:04:30] but he's not good at

[1:04:31] talking to people about it.

[1:04:33] And she gives him

[1:04:33] the human touch.

[1:04:35] Now,

[1:04:35] do you have a climax

[1:04:36] where they're at

[1:04:37] the election headquarters?

[1:04:39] It's election night.

[1:04:40] He has to race

[1:04:41] from the party

[1:04:43] to her bedside,

[1:04:44] and she dies

[1:04:45] just as he wins

[1:04:46] the election.

[1:04:46] So there's a big party going on,

[1:04:50] there's confetti falling,

[1:04:51] but you know what?

[1:04:52] The light just went out

[1:04:53] of his life.

[1:04:54] And now he,

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:55] it was also crazy

[1:04:56] because election night

[1:04:57] happened to be

[1:04:58] the same night

[1:04:59] as the dress rehearsal

[1:05:00] for the Nutcracker,

[1:05:01] right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:02] Yeah.

[1:05:02] It's,

[1:05:02] it's an awful election

[1:05:03] that's happening

[1:05:04] on Christmas

[1:05:05] for some reason.

[1:05:06] And so it's,

[1:05:07] it's filling this,

[1:05:08] so that the previous

[1:05:09] seat holder

[1:05:09] died under

[1:05:10] mysterious circumstances.

[1:05:12] Maybe the girl killed him.

[1:05:13] And that could be a thing

[1:05:14] that she's like a

[1:05:16] Hannah type assassin,

[1:05:17] you know?

[1:05:18] And so,

[1:05:18] she wanted to make

[1:05:20] an opening for this guy

[1:05:21] to run for office.

[1:05:22] It's a special

[1:05:23] Christmas election.

[1:05:24] The Nutcracker thing

[1:05:25] is a fundraiser.

[1:05:26] She collapses

[1:05:27] during the show.

[1:05:29] I love it.

[1:05:29] In the middle of the,

[1:05:30] in the middle of the

[1:05:30] climactic moment

[1:05:31] when the Nutcracker

[1:05:33] is about to hold her up

[1:05:34] in the lift

[1:05:34] from Dirty Dancing.

[1:05:35] That's when she,

[1:05:36] she collapses

[1:05:37] and they have to take her

[1:05:38] to the hospital.

[1:05:38] Yeah.

[1:05:39] And he,

[1:05:39] and he runs out.

[1:05:40] It's a fundraiser

[1:05:40] on the last day

[1:05:41] on election day

[1:05:42] which is pretty late

[1:05:43] that I guess he still

[1:05:44] has bills that he owes.

[1:05:45] Oh yeah, yeah.

[1:05:46] So.

Alonso Duralde

[1:05:47] What if she's at the big party

[1:05:49] and he wins,

[1:05:50] the balloons fall,

[1:05:51] the confetti.

[1:05:51] He gets up to make a speech.

[1:05:53] He goes,

[1:05:53] I have to acknowledge

[1:05:55] I couldn't be here

[1:05:56] without Nikki

[1:05:57] and he brings her up

[1:05:58] and she's been thoroughly

[1:05:59] healthy the entire film

[1:06:00] and she gets up

[1:06:01] behind the microphone

[1:06:02] and suddenly

[1:06:03] her face

[1:06:04] turns deathly white.

[1:06:05] She says,

[1:06:06] it hurts and collapses

[1:06:07] as all the cameras

[1:06:08] snap photographs

[1:06:09] and he's standing there

[1:06:11] holding her,

[1:06:11] lifelessness.

[1:06:12] Yeah,

[1:06:12] like a pieda.

[1:06:12] Now,

Alonso Duralde

[1:06:13] Owanza,

Dan McCoy

[1:06:13] can I plus this idea?

[1:06:15] What if instead

[1:06:16] of just collapsing

[1:06:17] her head explodes

[1:06:18] scanner style?

[1:06:20] Uh-huh.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:21] So she has some sort of,

[1:06:22] she has some sort of disease

[1:06:23] that leads to exploding heads

[1:06:25] and they're looking for a cure.

[1:06:26] She has a scanner's disease.

[1:06:27] Okay, she has scanner syndrome

[1:06:29] and scanner syndrome.

Alonso Duralde

[1:06:31] And so,

[1:06:31] Cronenberg sarcoma.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:33] And also,

[1:06:33] it's a pandemic.

[1:06:34] That's the thing.

[1:06:35] He's running for office

[1:06:36] during this time

[1:06:37] where there's scanner syndrome

[1:06:38] could hit at any time

[1:06:39] nobody knows

[1:06:39] and they think

[1:06:40] they've beaten it

[1:06:41] but in the end,

[1:06:43] Nikki proves

[1:06:44] that they haven't.

[1:06:44] Yeah.

[1:06:45] Yeah, yeah.

[1:06:46] So you can expand

[1:06:46] the scope quite a bit.

[1:06:47] You got scenes

[1:06:48] of like riots

[1:06:49] in foreign countries

[1:06:50] because there's only

[1:06:50] so much vaccine

[1:06:51] for scanner syndrome

[1:06:52] and it's like

[1:06:53] World War Z

[1:06:54] or something like that.

[1:06:56] You know,

[1:06:56] so we can open this up

[1:06:57] because it's based

[1:06:57] on a stage play.

[1:06:58] We got to open it up

[1:06:59] from the stage play

[1:07:00] it's based on

[1:07:00] which of course

[1:07:00] was called

[1:07:01] Scanners Girl

[1:07:02] Election Day Christmas

[1:07:03] and we,

[1:07:04] which maybe it's a segment

[1:07:06] from Forbidden Broadway.

[1:07:07] I don't know.

[1:07:07] Maybe that's it.

[1:07:08] So Dan,

[1:07:09] the,

[1:07:10] no, no,

[1:07:11] I was just saying

[1:07:11] do you have any,

[1:07:12] no, no,

[1:07:13] casting.

[1:07:13] Who are you casting

[1:07:13] in these parts?

[1:07:14] Who's the girl?

[1:07:15] Who's the progressive

[1:07:16] policy wonk?

[1:07:17] And who is the,

[1:07:18] who's the opponent

[1:07:20] who will do anything

[1:07:22] to take down

[1:07:23] the progressive

[1:07:23] even,

[1:07:25] if it,

[1:07:25] even blackmail,

[1:07:27] theft,

[1:07:27] and in an amazing

[1:07:29] sequence taking

[1:07:30] the Super Bowl hostage.

[1:07:31] So who's the,

[1:07:32] who do you play

[1:07:33] these parts?

[1:07:33] Okay,

[1:07:33] here we go.

[1:07:35] Here we go.

[1:07:35] We got a

[1:07:36] Christmas Super Bowl.

[1:07:37] The Christmas Super Bowl.

[1:07:38] Yeah.

[1:07:38] It's,

[1:07:39] again,

[1:07:39] everything's thrown

[1:07:40] out of whack

[1:07:41] because of the special

[1:07:41] elections.

[1:07:42] They're holding

[1:07:42] the Super Bowl

[1:07:43] on Christmas as well.

[1:07:44] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:45] The politician,

[1:07:46] of course,

[1:07:46] has to be Adam Driver.

[1:07:48] He's very hot right now.

[1:07:49] You know,

[1:07:49] he's good at playing

[1:07:50] in tents and I think

[1:07:52] the young girl

[1:07:52] to avoid any

[1:07:54] possible,

[1:07:55] like,

[1:07:56] weirdness should be

[1:07:57] Andy Serkis

[1:07:59] doing motion capture.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:01] Okay,

[1:08:01] so you're not,

[1:08:02] kind of an Alita

[1:08:02] Battle Angel type thing

[1:08:03] where there's a little bit

[1:08:04] of an uncanny valley

[1:08:05] about the girl.

[1:08:06] I would say,

[1:08:07] if you want to avoid

[1:08:07] that problem even entirely,

[1:08:09] you cast Amy Adams

[1:08:10] as the girl

[1:08:10] and she just has

[1:08:11] pigtails

[1:08:11] and it's okay

[1:08:12] because she's an adult

[1:08:13] playing a little girl.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:14] I mean,

[1:08:15] that's weird

[1:08:15] in a different way.

[1:08:16] Can we get to the ending?

[1:08:17] And who plays the bad guy?

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:18] Who plays the bad guy?

Dan McCoy

[1:08:20] Yeah,

[1:08:20] who's the bad guy?

[1:08:21] Dan Aykroyd.

[1:08:23] Wow.

[1:08:24] Okay.

[1:08:25] He's one of the comic

[1:08:25] villain.

[1:08:26] Yeah,

[1:08:26] that's a big,

[1:08:27] big,

[1:08:28] nothing but trouble.

[1:08:29] Yeah,

[1:08:29] yeah,

[1:08:30] sure.

[1:08:31] Yeah,

[1:08:31] let's get to the,

[1:08:32] let's get to the final judgments

[1:08:34] because I don't know

[1:08:36] what's going on

[1:08:37] in Stewart's corner

[1:08:37] of Brooklyn.

[1:08:38] It looks like it's much

[1:08:39] later there than

[1:08:39] in my,

[1:08:40] my part of Brooklyn.

[1:08:41] The sun is going down.

[1:08:42] So let's,

[1:08:43] let's do it

[1:08:44] with some baffled

[1:08:45] right now.

[1:08:47] Is this a good,

[1:08:48] bad movie,

[1:08:48] bad,

[1:08:49] a movie you kind of like?

[1:08:50] I will start,

[1:08:51] I said,

[1:08:52] I looked,

[1:08:52] this movie,

[1:08:53] by the end of it,

[1:08:54] it put me in a bad mood.

[1:08:56] Wow.

[1:08:57] I was angry at the movie.

[1:08:58] I got out of it.

[1:08:59] I don't hold it

[1:08:59] against Alonso,

[1:09:00] but I,

[1:09:01] you know,

[1:09:02] I walked out of it

[1:09:02] in a sour mood.

[1:09:03] I thought the people

[1:09:04] were bad.

[1:09:05] I didn't like it.

[1:09:06] It was boring.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:07] You snapped the DVD

[1:09:08] that you had ordered

[1:09:10] from Amazon.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:13] It's on Amazon Prime

[1:09:14] if you want to shake it.

[1:09:14] Okay.

[1:09:17] I'll,

[1:09:18] I'll go next.

[1:09:18] Yeah,

[1:09:19] it is a bad,

[1:09:19] bad movie.

[1:09:19] It's terrible.

[1:09:20] It's terrible.

[1:09:21] It is.

[1:09:22] It was,

[1:09:23] I wish it like,

[1:09:25] there's,

[1:09:25] there's a version

[1:09:26] of this movie

[1:09:26] that is a good,

[1:09:27] but this one is a little,

[1:09:28] a little dull.

[1:09:29] But there was part of me

[1:09:30] that like,

[1:09:31] and I want to thank Alonso

[1:09:32] because there's part of me

[1:09:33] that was like,

[1:09:34] I,

[1:09:34] there is no chance

[1:09:35] in hell

[1:09:36] that I would ever

[1:09:36] have seen this movie.

[1:09:37] And it was like

[1:09:39] a little taste

[1:09:39] of the kind of movie

[1:09:40] that I imagine

[1:09:41] like my parents

[1:09:42] going to go see

[1:09:43] when I was a kid

[1:09:44] and then just being

[1:09:45] so disappointed

[1:09:45] and coming back

[1:09:46] and not telling me about it.

[1:09:48] And it's,

[1:09:49] it really took me back

[1:09:50] to a year when movies

[1:09:51] like this could come out.

[1:09:52] And it's like,

[1:09:53] okay,

[1:09:53] there was a period

[1:09:54] when they made this stuff.

[1:09:55] So,

[1:09:56] I appreciated it.

[1:09:57] Not as a movie.

[1:09:58] It was terrible.

[1:09:58] But I appreciate it

[1:09:59] as a snapshot

[1:10:00] of a worse time.

[1:10:01] Stuart?

[1:10:01] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:02] yeah,

[1:10:02] yeah.

[1:10:02] I,

[1:10:03] no,

[1:10:03] this is a,

[1:10:04] this is a bad,

[1:10:04] bad movie.

[1:10:05] And,

[1:10:06] yeah,

[1:10:07] it's,

[1:10:07] it's fun to get to watch,

[1:10:08] you know,

[1:10:09] a bad movie

[1:10:09] from another era

[1:10:11] and bad in ways

[1:10:13] that are like,

[1:10:15] it didn't feel bad

[1:10:16] in the like boring,

[1:10:17] modern,

[1:10:18] kind of like

[1:10:18] overproduced Hollywood way.

[1:10:20] It felt like

[1:10:21] a little bit of,

[1:10:22] a little bit of that,

[1:10:23] but also a little bit

[1:10:23] of the like,

[1:10:24] this is somebody's

[1:10:25] passion project.

[1:10:26] Even if it wasn't,

[1:10:27] it felt a little bit like

[1:10:28] somebody cares a lot

[1:10:29] about this dumb movie

[1:10:30] that doesn't make sense.

[1:10:31] Who is this movie for?

[1:10:33] Nobody knows.

[1:10:34] So yeah,

[1:10:35] bad,

[1:10:35] bad.

Alonso Duralde

[1:10:38] Yeah,

[1:10:39] I will,

[1:10:39] I'll close the loop.

[1:10:40] It is totally bad,

[1:10:41] bad.

[1:10:42] My,

[1:10:42] my friend,

[1:10:42] Joel Ryan

[1:10:43] tipped me off to it

[1:10:44] years ago.

[1:10:44] And the line that

[1:10:46] she always quotes from it

[1:10:47] is one that Dave

[1:10:47] and I have turned

[1:10:48] into a running joke

[1:10:49] in our house,

[1:10:49] which is after she says

[1:10:51] the thing about

[1:10:52] are you two going

[1:10:52] to make love?

[1:10:53] Dudley Moore says,

[1:10:54] you're an outrageous

[1:10:56] child,

[1:10:56] Nicole.

[1:10:59] I just love

[1:11:00] throwing that

[1:11:00] into conversations

[1:11:01] because it's a,

[1:11:02] it's a guaranteed

[1:11:03] laugh getter,

[1:11:04] much like this movie

[1:11:05] in general.

[1:11:06] But yeah,

[1:11:07] it is bad in the way

[1:11:08] of like,

[1:11:08] someone thought

[1:11:09] this was a good idea.

[1:11:10] Like somebody really

[1:11:11] committed to the bit

[1:11:12] of this thing.

[1:11:13] It certainly doesn't

[1:11:14] feel like it was

[1:11:15] created by committee

[1:11:16] or,

[1:11:17] you know,

[1:11:17] the studio thought

[1:11:18] we're going to cash

[1:11:19] in on the,

[1:11:20] I don't know what,

[1:11:21] dying girl crazy.

[1:11:23] Gotta cash in on the

[1:11:24] abandoning your family

[1:11:25] trend.

[1:11:26] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:26] Yeah.

[1:11:26] It's a,

[1:11:28] and knowing that

[1:11:29] the script was around

[1:11:30] for so long

[1:11:30] that like people

[1:11:31] were trying for years

[1:11:32] to tell this story

[1:11:33] is,

[1:11:34] it's crazy

[1:11:34] because you're

[1:11:35] watching it and you're

[1:11:35] like.

[1:11:35] It got developed a lot.

[1:11:36] It's amazing.

[1:11:37] Like you're watching,

[1:11:38] it must have been a big,

[1:11:39] the book must have sold

[1:11:40] well probably.

[1:11:41] Yeah,

[1:11:41] I figure this is like,

Dan McCoy

[1:11:43] oh,

[1:11:43] but what if like

[1:11:44] love story was about

[1:11:46] a kid instead of a

[1:11:47] lover?

[1:11:49] I don't know.

[1:11:49] I,

Dan McCoy

[1:11:50] it's weird.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:51] Yeah,

[1:11:51] they're like,

[1:11:52] it's love story

[1:11:53] but a lot of people's

[1:11:54] lives are ruined

[1:11:55] as collateral

[1:11:56] by the two,

[1:11:57] by the leads.

[1:11:58] Like it's,

[1:11:59] to go into the movie

[1:12:00] and be like,

[1:12:00] yeah,

[1:12:01] yeah,

[1:12:01] we're going to make

[1:12:01] this movie.

[1:12:02] It's about a guy

[1:12:03] who becomes friends

[1:12:05] with a,

[1:12:05] it's about a grown man

[1:12:06] who becomes friends

[1:12:07] with a 13 year old girl.

[1:12:08] Okay,

[1:12:08] but why does he do that?

[1:12:10] Well,

[1:12:10] he's falling in love

[1:12:11] with her mother.

[1:12:11] Oh,

[1:12:12] that's great.

[1:12:12] He's already married

[1:12:13] and he has a child.

[1:12:14] What are you doing?

[1:12:15] What is going on?

Alonso Duralde

[1:12:18] I gotta read the book

[1:12:19] one of these days

[1:12:19] just out of curiosity

[1:12:21] but I haven't brought

[1:12:21] myself to that yet.

[1:12:22] What's weird

[1:12:22] is it's a western.

[1:12:24] Yeah.

S5

[1:12:54] Bullseye.

S5

[1:12:55] Interviews with creators

[1:12:56] you love

[1:12:56] and creators

[1:12:57] you need to know

[1:12:58] from MaximumFun.org

[1:13:00] and NPR.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:03] Hi,

[1:13:04] I'm James.

[1:13:04] I'm James,

[1:13:05] host of Minority Corner

[1:13:06] which is a

S5

[1:13:06] podcast that's all

[1:13:07] about intersectionality.

[1:13:09] It's hosted by James

[1:13:09] with a guest host

[1:13:10] every week.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:11] Discussing all sorts

[1:13:12] of wonderful issues,

[1:13:13] nerdy and political.

S5

[1:13:15] Pop culture.

[1:13:16] Black queer.

[1:13:17] Feminism.

[1:13:18] Race.

[1:13:19] Sexuality.

[1:13:20] News.

[1:13:20] You're going to learn

[1:13:21] your history,

[1:13:22] their self-empowerment

[1:13:23] and it's told by

[1:13:24] what feels like

[1:13:24] your best friend.

Alonso Duralde

[1:13:25] Why should someone

[1:13:26] listen to Minority Corner?

[1:13:27] Why not?

[1:13:28] Oh my god,

[1:13:29] free stuff.

[1:13:29] There's not free stuff.

S5

[1:13:30] The listeners of Minority Corner

[1:13:31] will enjoy some necessary LOLs

[1:13:33] but mainly a look at

[1:13:35] what's happening in our world

[1:13:36] through a colorful lens.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:37] People will get

[1:13:38] the perspective

[1:13:39] of marginalized communities.

S5

[1:13:41] I feel heard,

[1:13:42] I feel seen.

[1:13:43] Like you said,

[1:13:43] you need to understand

[1:13:44] how to be more proactive

[1:13:45] in your community

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:46] and this is a great way

[1:13:46] to get started.

S5

[1:13:47] Join us every Friday

[1:13:48] on MaxFun

[1:13:48] or wherever you get your podcasts.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:50] Minority Corner

[1:13:51] because together

[1:13:52] we're the majority.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:55] The Flophouse

[1:13:56] is sponsored

[1:13:57] in part by Squarespace.

[1:13:59] Now you all know Squarespace.

[1:14:00] You've been listening for a while

[1:14:01] unless you are listening

[1:14:03] to the first episode

[1:14:04] in which case,

[1:14:04] welcome.

[1:14:05] I hope you enjoy the nonsense

[1:14:07] but Squarespace

[1:14:08] is a service

[1:14:09] that allows you

[1:14:10] to create a beautiful...

[1:14:11] No, Dan,

[1:14:11] when you said

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:12] listening to the first episode

[1:14:13] you meant listening to this episode

[1:14:15] listening to the show

[1:14:16] for the first time.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:16] I'm saying this is the first episode

[1:14:18] that you made.

[1:14:19] Perhaps,

[1:14:19] I don't want to assume

[1:14:20] every episode

[1:14:22] might be someone's first episode.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:24] Yeah,

[1:14:25] but you're not saying

[1:14:26] if you're listening

[1:14:26] to the first episode

[1:14:27] of the show

[1:14:27] in which case

[1:14:28] there were no sponsors

[1:14:28] and I wasn't even on the show.

[1:14:30] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:30] Yeah,

[1:14:31] and it sounds terrible.

[1:14:32] And also any episode

[1:14:34] could be somebody's

[1:14:34] last episode of the show.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:36] Oh,

[1:14:37] wow,

[1:14:37] you're right,

[1:14:37] Dan.

[1:14:38] Just get with the ads.

[1:14:38] Sorry,

[1:14:39] I'm wasting time.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:40] Okay,

[1:14:40] so Squarespace

[1:14:42] can help you

[1:14:43] turn your cool idea

[1:14:44] into a new website.

[1:14:46] You can blog

[1:14:47] or publish content.

[1:14:48] You can sell products

[1:14:49] and services

[1:14:50] of all kinds

[1:14:51] and much,

[1:14:51] much more.

[1:14:52] Squarespace

[1:14:53] helps you do this

[1:14:54] by giving you

[1:14:54] beautiful,

[1:14:55] customizable templates

[1:14:57] created by world-class designers.

[1:14:59] Everything optimized

[1:15:00] for mobile

[1:15:01] right out of the box.

[1:15:03] A new way

[1:15:03] to buy domains

[1:15:04] and choose

[1:15:05] from over 200 extensions

[1:15:07] and free

[1:15:08] and secure

[1:15:09] hosting.

[1:15:11] So you should head

[1:15:12] to squarespace.com

[1:15:14] slash flop

[1:15:14] for a free trial

[1:15:16] and when you're ready

[1:15:17] to launch,

[1:15:17] use the offer code

[1:15:19] flop

[1:15:19] to save 10% off

[1:15:21] your first purchase

[1:15:22] of a website

[1:15:23] or domain.

[1:15:26] Now,

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:26] Dan,

[1:15:27] I had an idea

[1:15:27] for a website

[1:15:28] based on today's movie

[1:15:30] and I was wondering

[1:15:30] if Squarespace

[1:15:31] might be able

[1:15:31] to help me with it.

[1:15:32] You know what?

[1:15:33] I had an inkling

[1:15:33] you might have

[1:15:34] one of those.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:36] Yeah,

[1:15:36] I mean,

[1:15:36] I'm a little troubled,

[1:15:37] I'm a little concerned,

[1:15:38] but I'll hear you out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:39] So let's say,

[1:15:40] here's my customer base.

[1:15:41] Let's say you're

[1:15:42] a little kid,

[1:15:42] a precocious adolescent kid.

[1:15:44] You don't have a dad,

[1:15:46] you want a dad,

[1:15:46] but even more than that,

[1:15:47] you want the thrill

[1:15:48] of poaching that dad

[1:15:49] from another family.

[1:15:50] Well,

[1:15:50] at secondhanddads.com,

[1:15:52] you would be able

[1:15:53] to come and look

[1:15:53] through our

[1:15:54] extensive catalog

[1:15:55] of dads

[1:15:56] who are,

[1:15:56] let's say,

[1:15:57] losing steam

[1:15:58] with their current families

[1:15:59] and looking for new families

[1:16:00] to become the dads of.

[1:16:01] This is not

[1:16:02] a dirty site.

[1:16:03] This is not

[1:16:04] people who are interested

[1:16:05] in physical relationships,

[1:16:06] with adult people.

[1:16:07] This is about

[1:16:08] emotional relationships

[1:16:09] with children

[1:16:10] and their single parents.

[1:16:12] So,

[1:16:13] just log on

[1:16:14] to secondhanddad.com

[1:16:15] to know that you're

[1:16:16] getting someone

[1:16:16] who has the skills

[1:16:17] to be a dad

[1:16:17] and the enthusiasm

[1:16:19] for a new family

[1:16:20] that will get them

[1:16:21] falling in love

[1:16:22] with your mom

[1:16:22] over,

[1:16:23] let's say,

[1:16:23] a whirlwind

[1:16:24] Christmas New York weekend.

[1:16:25] So,

[1:16:25] that's secondhanddads.com.

[1:16:27] Do you think

[1:16:27] Squarespace would be able

[1:16:28] legally or ethically

[1:16:30] to help me with that?

Dan McCoy

[1:16:31] I don't know

[1:16:31] about the second,

[1:16:32] but I'm sure

[1:16:34] that they could help

[1:16:34] you design that website.

[1:16:37] Hey,

[1:16:38] we got another sponsor.

[1:16:39] It is called

[1:16:40] Kitty Poo Club.

[1:16:43] And you know what?

[1:16:44] A lot of us are

[1:16:45] working from home

[1:16:46] right now.

[1:16:47] Not all of us.

[1:16:48] You know,

[1:16:48] many of us

[1:16:50] have to

[1:16:50] still go out

[1:16:51] for work

[1:16:52] and God bless you

[1:16:54] if you're out there

[1:16:55] putting yourselves at risk

[1:16:56] just because

[1:16:57] you have to make

[1:16:58] a little money,

[1:16:59] I feel for you.

[1:17:00] But if you are

[1:17:00] working from home,

[1:17:01] you're probably spending

[1:17:02] a lot more time

[1:17:03] with your cat.

[1:17:04] You're getting to see

[1:17:05] what they do

[1:17:05] during the day.

[1:17:06] It's a lot of sleeping

[1:17:07] in my experience,

[1:17:08] a lot of staring

[1:17:08] out the window,

[1:17:10] crying whenever

[1:17:11] the kitten

[1:17:11] walks through

[1:17:12] your backyard,

[1:17:14] the stray cat

[1:17:15] in the neighborhood.

[1:17:17] But one thing,

[1:17:18] and you're loving it.

[1:17:19] You're loving all this

[1:17:20] extra time

[1:17:20] with your cat,

[1:17:21] you know?

[1:17:22] Your furry friend,

[1:17:23] you're getting

[1:17:23] extra time,

[1:17:24] FaceTime with your cat.

[1:17:25] But what you don't love

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:26] is having...

[1:17:27] Case closed.

[1:17:27] Sounds like a great product,

[1:17:28] Dan.

[1:17:28] No, no, no, no.

[1:17:29] Hold on.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:30] There's a problem

[1:17:31] this product's going to solve

[1:17:32] and that's that

[1:17:33] you don't love

[1:17:34] dealing with a litter box.

[1:17:35] Well,

[1:17:36] now,

[1:17:37] every month,

[1:17:38] Kitty Poo Club

[1:17:39] can deliver

[1:17:40] an affordable,

[1:17:41] high-quality,

[1:17:42] recyclable litter box

[1:17:43] that is pre-filled

[1:17:44] with the litter

[1:17:45] of your choice.

[1:17:46] The boxes are leak-proof,

[1:17:48] eco-friendly,

[1:17:49] and have a fun design

[1:17:50] for every season.

[1:17:51] When the month is up,

[1:17:52] just recycle the box

[1:17:53] and Kitty Poo Club

[1:17:55] will automatically

[1:17:56] deliver a new one to you.

[1:17:58] No changing used litter

[1:17:59] and no more cleaning the box.

[1:18:01] And right now,

[1:18:02] Kitty Poo Club

[1:18:03] is offering you

[1:18:05] 20% off your first order

[1:18:07] when you set up auto-ship

[1:18:08] by going to

[1:18:09] KittyPooClub.com

[1:18:11] and entering

[1:18:12] promo code

[1:18:13] FLOP.

[1:18:14] Just go to

[1:18:17] and enter

[1:18:17] promo code FLOP

[1:18:18] to get 20% off

[1:18:20] when you set up

[1:18:21] auto-ship.

[1:18:22] That's

[1:18:24] and don't forget

[1:18:25] to enter promo code

[1:18:26] FLOP at checkout

[1:18:27] to help support our show.

[1:18:29] I hope

[1:18:30] you didn't hear

[1:18:31] the burp

[1:18:32] I stifled

[1:18:33] partway through

[1:18:33] because I'm a

[1:18:35] middle-aged man

[1:18:36] who can no longer

[1:18:37] control

[1:18:38] the emissions

[1:18:39] from his body.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:40] Sounds like

[1:18:41] somebody needs

[1:18:42] KittyPooClub

[1:18:44] for himself too,

[1:18:45] maybe.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:46] Killed them all,

[1:18:47] burp.

[1:18:47] Killed them all.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:49] Cool.

[1:18:50] Well, that was great.

[1:18:51] We got two cool sponsors.

[1:18:53] Oh, we also have

[1:18:54] a couple of Jumbotrons,

[1:18:56] I believe.

[1:18:57] Elliot,

[1:18:57] why don't you

[1:18:58] take the first one?

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:00] Sure.

[1:19:00] Here's the Jumbotron

[1:19:01] for you.

[1:19:02] And you know what?

[1:19:03] I'm going to have

[1:19:03] a secret surprise.

[1:19:04] Spoiler.

[1:19:05] It's a personal endorsement.

[1:19:06] Every week on

[1:19:07] Marvel by the Month,

[1:19:08] Brian Stratton

[1:19:08] and Rob Milne,

[1:19:10] I can't remember

[1:19:10] how his last name

[1:19:10] is pronounced.

[1:19:11] Sorry about that, Rob.

[1:19:12] Chat with your favorite

[1:19:12] podcasters and comics

[1:19:14] professionals like

[1:19:14] John Hodgman,

[1:19:15] Matt Fraction,

[1:19:16] Clint McElroy,

[1:19:17] Fred Hembeck,

[1:19:17] Jordan Morris,

[1:19:18] and Tom Scioli

[1:19:19] about the best,

[1:19:20] worst,

[1:19:20] and weirdest parts

[1:19:21] of Marvel Comics history

[1:19:22] one month at a time.

[1:19:24] Look for Marvel by the Month

[1:19:25] at marvelbythemonth.com

[1:19:26] or wherever you

[1:19:27] download podcasts.

[1:19:28] And I was on

[1:19:30] an episode of this podcast.

[1:19:31] It actually just came out

[1:19:32] right before we are

[1:19:34] recording this episode.

[1:19:35] And I had a great time.

[1:19:36] It's a really fun podcast

[1:19:37] where they are reading

[1:19:38] through Marvel Comics

[1:19:39] in their heyday

[1:19:40] month by month

[1:19:41] and talking about the issues.

[1:19:43] And I think it's

[1:19:44] a really good show.

[1:19:45] So go listen to my episode

[1:19:46] where we talked about

[1:19:47] the birth of Adam Warlock

[1:19:48] and MODOK

[1:19:49] among other characters.

[1:19:50] Oh, fun.

[1:19:51] And then go listen

[1:19:51] to the other episodes.

[1:19:52] It was lots of fun.

[1:19:53] Marvel by the Month.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:55] Wow.

[1:19:55] Synergy.

[1:19:56] Cool.

[1:19:57] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:58] And I have a Jumbotron.

[1:20:01] I'm an artist.

[1:20:03] And throughout the pandemic,

[1:20:04] I've been working

[1:20:05] on a project

[1:20:06] called Pornymon.

[1:20:08] It's like a mashup

[1:20:09] of Pokemon

[1:20:10] and Jurassic Park

[1:20:11] if the creatures

[1:20:12] were all designed

[1:20:13] by a pervert.

[1:20:14] Me.

[1:20:15] Now, I'm assuming

[1:20:16] that's talking about

[1:20:16] the creator

[1:20:17] and not me,

[1:20:18] Stuart Wellington,

[1:20:18] but who cares?

[1:20:19] I was going to ask.

[1:20:20] We got to be honest.

[1:20:23] Yeah.

[1:20:24] Yeah, I mean,

[1:20:25] it doesn't matter.

[1:20:27] It's mostly safe for work

[1:20:28] despite how it sounds.

[1:20:30] Also,

[1:20:31] there are some

[1:20:32] tainted

[1:20:33] Pornymon

[1:20:34] who resemble

[1:20:35] certain political figures

[1:20:36] in cathartic ways.

[1:20:39] So visit

[1:20:39] pornymon.com

[1:20:41] that's

[1:20:41] P-O-R-N-E-M-O-N

[1:20:44] dot C-O-M

[1:20:45] for all the stuff

[1:20:47] made with

[1:20:48] Squarespace.

[1:20:49] Uh-oh.

[1:20:50] Synergy.

[1:20:51] And there's a couple

[1:20:52] trailers up on YouTube.

[1:20:54] Looks like a lot of fun.

[1:20:56] My Pornymons.

[1:20:57] Let me show you them

[1:20:59] at pornymons.com.

[1:21:02] One of

Dan McCoy

[1:21:03] the more unusual

[1:21:05] Jumbotrons.

[1:21:06] So perhaps

[1:21:07] it catches your ear.

[1:21:08] I believe

[1:21:09] there's another plug

[1:21:11] that your household,

[1:21:13] Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:13] Oh, yeah.

[1:21:14] The household,

[1:21:14] the Wellington household.

S5

[1:21:16] Oh,

[1:21:17] but now you can't hear.

[1:21:18] That's okay.

[1:21:18] Okay.

[1:21:19] Oh,

[1:21:20] all right.

[1:21:20] Hi, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:21] Hi.

[1:21:23] Hello.

[1:21:23] Hi, Charlene.

[1:21:24] How are you?

S5

[1:21:25] Good.

[1:21:25] How are you?

[1:21:26] I liked your last episode.

[1:21:29] Oh.

[1:21:29] It had a

[1:21:30] very high

[1:21:32] SPM.

[1:21:36] Charlene's per minute.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:37] Oh, of course.

[1:21:38] Yeah, there are a lot of Charlene's,

[1:21:38] a lot of mentions.

[1:21:40] So, Charlene,

[1:21:40] what would you like to talk to us

[1:21:41] about today?

S5

[1:21:42] I have a new podcast,

[1:21:44] guys.

[1:21:44] Have you heard about podcasts?

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:47] Is it?

[1:21:48] I heard it's like the radio

[1:21:48] of the future.

[1:21:50] It's of the future.

S5

[1:21:51] I have a new podcast.

[1:21:53] It's called

[1:21:53] I Know the Owner.

[1:21:55] It's me

[1:21:55] and a guest.

[1:21:57] Sometimes the guest

[1:21:58] is Stuart.

[1:21:59] Sometimes the guest

[1:21:59] is somebody else

[1:22:00] in the bar industry.

[1:22:02] And we talk about

[1:22:03] bar stuff.

[1:22:05] And it's fun.

[1:22:07] You can find it

[1:22:09] and you can find it

[1:22:10] on iTunes.

[1:22:11] Sounds fun.

[1:22:12] I know the owner.

[1:22:13] Great.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:13] What kind of bar stuff

[1:22:15] do you talk about?

S5

[1:22:17] We talk about

[1:22:18] how I got into the business,

[1:22:20] how other people

[1:22:21] got into the business.

[1:22:22] We have a section

[1:22:24] called

[1:22:25] Wow, I forgot

[1:22:27] what my section's called.

[1:22:30] It's called

[1:22:31] Well, it sounds great.

[1:22:33] You won't believe

[1:22:33] the fucking day I had

[1:22:35] where

[1:22:36] it's supposed to

[1:22:38] mimic people

[1:22:38] belling up to the bar

[1:22:39] and telling me

[1:22:41] about their day.

[1:22:42] And then we

[1:22:42] talk about it.

[1:22:44] And we have so far

[1:22:46] recorded in the bar

[1:22:47] while it was open

[1:22:48] so anything can happen.

[1:22:50] And what happened is

[1:22:51] the bar's going to be closed

[1:22:53] so that's not going to happen.

[1:22:54] So after today

[1:22:56] we will record

[1:22:57] in other locations.

[1:22:59] So

Dan McCoy

[1:23:00] in this unfortunate

[1:23:02] time period

[1:23:03] if you want the old

[1:23:04] Hinterlands experience

[1:23:06] you can't talk

[1:23:07] to the bartender now

[1:23:08] but what you can do

[1:23:09] I guess is

[1:23:09] on a weekend

[1:23:11] get a takeaway drink

[1:23:12] pop the podcast in

[1:23:15] maybe you've sent in

[1:23:16] a complaint

[1:23:17] about something

[1:23:18] that happened

[1:23:18] in your week

[1:23:18] and you can have

[1:23:19] that experience

[1:23:20] of chatting

[1:23:20] with a bartender

[1:23:21] while sipping your drink.

S5

[1:23:23] Exactly.

[1:23:25] So thanks for letting me

[1:23:26] plug it on your show.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:28] Sure.

[1:23:29] Our pleasure.

[1:23:32] I guess that's the end

[1:23:33] of the segment.

[1:23:35] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:37] All right.

[1:23:37] And now back to the show.

[1:23:40] Moving on

[1:23:41] to our next segment

[1:23:42] which is letters

[1:23:43] from listeners

[1:23:44] like you

[1:23:45] who are listening

[1:23:47] right now

[1:23:47] I assume.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:50] Hey.

[1:23:51] That's right Dan.

[1:23:52] Hey.

[1:23:53] Because Dan

[1:23:53] it's the most

[1:23:54] letterful time

[1:23:56] of the show.

[1:23:58] It's the part

[1:24:00] where the letters

[1:24:01] are read

[1:24:02] and we answer

[1:24:02] the letters.

[1:24:04] It's the most

[1:24:09] Oh man.

[1:24:09] You thought there

[1:24:10] were other parts

[1:24:12] that had letters

[1:24:13] in them

[1:24:13] you'd be wrong.

[1:24:15] It's just this part

[1:24:16] that has the letters

[1:24:17] in them

[1:24:18] this part of the show

[1:24:19] right here

[1:24:20] because it's

[1:24:20] the most

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:25] Oh man.

[1:24:26] You gotta give it to him.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:27] I will give it to him

[1:24:28] that that is

[1:24:29] like the most

[1:24:30] accurate

[1:24:31] letter song

[1:24:32] I think we've had

[1:24:33] in a long time.

[1:24:34] If you're trying

Alonso Duralde

[1:24:35] to destroy Christmas

[1:24:36] Elliot Kaylin

[1:24:37] you're going about

[1:24:37] it all wrong

[1:24:38] because that just

[1:24:39] my heart grew

[1:24:39] three sizes.

[1:24:40] Oh no.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:41] What about this?

[1:24:42] Here's letter Q's

[1:24:43] there's letter Q's

[1:24:44] Q's from the letters

[1:24:45] we'll answer Q's

[1:24:45] letter letter letter

[1:24:47] Q's letter Q's

[1:24:48] letter letter Q's

[1:24:49] letter letters

[1:24:51] letter letters

[1:24:52] What about this?

[1:24:54] Wait.

[1:24:54] Are there other

[1:24:55] Christmas songs?

[1:24:55] I can't think of any.

[1:24:57] No.

[1:24:57] Not a one.

[1:24:58] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:58] That's too bad.

[1:24:59] Oh Dan's looking

[1:25:00] for a way to turn

[1:25:01] off his computer.

[1:25:01] I guess he's done.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:05] Yeah.

[1:25:06] Okay.

[1:25:07] So here we go

[1:25:08] with the first.

[1:25:09] Here come letter Q's

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:10] there go letter Q's

[1:25:11] hope you sent us

[1:25:12] some Q's

[1:25:13] Q stands for questions

[1:25:15] I guess I should have

[1:25:16] been clearer about

[1:25:17] that at the start

[1:25:18] Letters sometimes

[1:25:20] have questions in them

[1:25:21] and we're gonna

[1:25:22] answer those letters

[1:25:23] in this part of the

[1:25:24] show right now

[1:25:25] how does the rest

[1:25:27] of the song go?

[1:25:28] I don't know.

[1:25:28] Anyway that's the

[1:25:29] end of that song

[1:25:30] or is it

[1:25:31] it seems to be

[1:25:32] going still?

[1:25:32] I don't understand

[1:25:34] I've lost control

[1:25:35] of it

[1:25:35] I'm as annoyed

[1:25:36] as you

[1:25:37] believe me

[1:25:38] I wish I could

[1:25:39] stop it

[1:25:40] at this point

[1:25:40] it's kind of like

[1:25:41] a medical problem

[1:25:42] I'll talk to my

[1:25:43] doctor after the show

[1:25:44] because I can't get

[1:25:45] this song to end

[1:25:47] Dan you gotta

[1:25:47] interrupt me

[1:25:48] I'm sorry

[1:25:48] slay this beast

Dan McCoy

[1:25:50] now your war on

[1:25:52] Christmas feels

[1:25:53] this one's from

[1:25:55] Alan last name

[1:25:56] withheld

[1:25:56] who writes

[1:25:57] inspired by the

[1:25:58] flop house

[1:25:59] and because of

[1:26:00] our desire

[1:26:00] to not make life

[1:26:02] worse for health

[1:26:03] care workers

[1:26:04] thank you

[1:26:04] we have decided

[1:26:05] we've enough time

[1:26:06] to celebrate

[1:26:07] cagemas this year

[1:26:08] by watching a

[1:26:09] different Nicolas Cage

[1:26:11] movie every day

[1:26:12] in December

[1:26:13] what are some

[1:26:14] much must

[1:26:15] adds to our

[1:26:16] list

[1:26:17] this brings up

[1:26:19] a good point

[1:26:20] I want to just

[1:26:21] say quickly

[1:26:23] that our

[1:26:23] cagemas episode

[1:26:24] will release

[1:26:25] in early January

[1:26:26] you know like

[1:26:28] cagemas is a

[1:26:29] movable feast

[1:26:30] it's a movable

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:31] feast guys

[1:26:31] you don't know

[1:26:32] it's in our hearts

Dan McCoy

[1:26:33] yeah it's not

[1:26:34] necessarily gonna

[1:26:35] come before Christmas

[1:26:36] or even

[1:26:36] slightly after Christmas

[1:26:38] maybe in the next

[1:26:39] month

[1:26:39] guys cagemas

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:40] cagemas is a

[1:26:42] made up holiday

[1:26:42] like Christmas

[1:26:43] we can put it

[1:26:44] wherever we want

[1:26:45] to

[1:26:45] so

[1:26:46] that was the

[1:26:47] most

[1:26:48] that was the

[1:26:48] most inflammatory

[1:26:50] thing I think

[1:26:50] I've ever said

[1:26:51] yeah

[1:26:51] and I apologize

[1:26:53] immediately

Dan McCoy

[1:26:53] okay what do we

[1:26:56] got

[1:26:56] so Nicolas Cage

[1:26:58] movies

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:58] look you gotta do

[1:26:59] if you haven't

[1:27:00] seen Bad Lieutenant

[1:27:01] Porta Call New

[1:27:01] Orleans throw it

[1:27:02] on there

[1:27:02] oh yeah it rules

[1:27:03] mm-hmm

Dan McCoy

[1:27:05] well I'm trying to

[1:27:07] look through like

[1:27:08] what's like a

[1:27:09] more

[1:27:09] a more you mean

[1:27:11] love

[1:27:11] I mean you get

[1:27:13] like obviously

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:14] Moonstruck

[1:27:14] you gotta put

[1:27:15] Moonstruck

[1:27:15] on there

[1:27:16] I mean he's

[1:27:16] great

[1:27:16] on there

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:18] gotta put

[1:27:18] Raising Arizona

[1:27:19] on there

[1:27:20] maybe

[1:27:21] Vampire's Kiss

[1:27:23] I don't know

[1:27:23] I'm not a huge

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:26] fan but you know

[1:27:27] whatever

[1:27:27] really

[1:27:28] nope

[1:27:29] really

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:30] I mean just for

[1:27:30] the scene where

[1:27:31] he goes through

[1:27:31] the alphabet

[1:27:32] it's worth

[1:27:33] watching

[1:27:33] I mean it's

[1:27:35] not good

[1:27:35] yeah

[1:27:36] um

[1:27:38] well

[1:27:39] I've got

[1:27:39] Wild at Heart

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:40] yeah give me

[1:27:41] some Wild at Heart

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:42] yeah or like

[1:27:43] Red Rock West

[1:27:44] yeah sure

[1:27:44] like uh

[1:27:45] I got a real

[1:27:47] into the Spider-Verse

[1:27:48] oh yeah he's

[1:27:49] great into the

[1:27:50] Spider-Verse

[1:27:50] why not

Dan McCoy

[1:27:51] I've got a real

[1:27:53] fondness for the

[1:27:54] National Treasure

[1:27:55] movies they're dumb

[1:27:56] but they're a lot

[1:27:57] of fun

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:58] mm-hmm

[1:27:58] speaking of dumb

[1:27:59] but

[1:27:59] Con Air

[1:28:00] Con Air

[1:28:01] yeah

[1:28:01] what a movie

[1:28:02] that is

[1:28:03] so gif-able

[1:28:04] it's wonderful

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:05] I mean just

[1:28:06] the beginning

[1:28:07] of Face Slash

[1:28:08] Off

[1:28:08] before the

[1:28:09] faces get

[1:28:10] switched

[1:28:10] because Nicolas Cage

[1:28:11] doesn't get that

[1:28:11] much to do

[1:28:12] once the faces

[1:28:12] get switched

Dan McCoy

[1:28:13] yeah

[1:28:13] just the

[1:28:15] opening tracking

[1:28:16] shot from

[1:28:17] Snake Eyes

[1:28:17] yeah

Alonso Duralde

[1:28:18] yeah

[1:28:19] if you're gonna

[1:28:21] celebrate Cagemas

[1:28:22] in December

[1:28:23] I'm not a giant

[1:28:24] fan of it

[1:28:24] but Family Man

[1:28:25] is his technically

[1:28:26] one big Christmas

[1:28:27] movie

[1:28:28] oh

[1:28:28] if you want to

[1:28:29] be seasonal

[1:28:29] about it

[1:28:30] you can

[1:28:31] you can do Cagemas

[1:28:32] earlier than these

[1:28:33] guys

[1:28:33] I uh

[1:28:34] you can do

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:34] some of his

[1:28:35] recent output

[1:28:36] I enjoyed

[1:28:37] his performance

[1:28:37] in uh

[1:28:38] what is that

[1:28:38] Mom and Dad

[1:28:39] where he

[1:28:41] demolishes a

[1:28:42] pool table

[1:28:43] even before

[1:28:43] he goes crazy

[1:28:44] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:28:46] and on the

[1:28:47] little scene

[1:28:48] uh

[1:28:49] side of things

[1:28:49] we watched

[1:28:50] The Trust

[1:28:50] for the show

[1:28:51] and I think

[1:28:51] we all

[1:28:52] enjoyed it

[1:28:53] a lot more

[1:28:54] than we

[1:28:54] suspected we might

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:55] The Trust

[1:28:55] is not a

[1:28:56] particularly good

[1:28:56] movie but

[1:28:57] him and

[1:28:57] Elijah Wood

[1:28:58] in that

[1:28:59] the way

[1:29:00] they relate

[1:29:01] to each

[1:29:01] other in it

[1:29:02] is so much

[1:29:02] fun to watch

[1:29:03] and I

[1:29:03] wish that they

[1:29:04] would make

[1:29:05] something else

[1:29:05] together

[1:29:06] uh

[1:29:07] there's uh

Alonso Duralde

[1:29:08] he did finally

[1:29:08] get to play

[1:29:09] Superman in

[1:29:10] Teen Titans

[1:29:10] Go to the

[1:29:11] Movies

[1:29:11] which I'm a

[1:29:12] fan of

[1:29:12] okay

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:12] uh

[1:29:13] people don't

[1:29:14] really talk about

[1:29:15] adaptation that much

[1:29:15] anymore

[1:29:16] so yeah satisfied

[1:29:16] Nicolas Cage's dying

[1:29:16] wish to be

[1:29:17] Superman

[1:29:18] mmhmm

Dan McCoy

[1:29:19] yep

[1:29:20] Dudley Moore

[1:29:21] burst into

[1:29:22] DC offices

[1:29:23] and demanded

[1:29:25] to see who

[1:29:25] was in charge

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:26] of allowing

[1:29:27] him to play

[1:29:28] Superman

[1:29:28] why not go

[1:29:29] watch It Could

[1:29:29] Happen to You

[1:29:30] why not

[1:29:31] it goes down

[1:29:31] easy

[1:29:31] yeah that's

[1:29:33] a fun one

[1:29:33] that's a fun

[1:29:34] nice one

[1:29:34] you know

[1:29:35] and probably

[1:29:37] uh

[1:29:38] and of course

[1:29:39] uh

[1:29:39] Arsenal

[1:29:39] right

[1:29:40] shut up

Dan McCoy

[1:29:42] all right

[1:29:42] moving on

[1:29:43] Valley Girl

[1:29:44] yeah Valley Girl

[1:29:45] Car

[1:29:45] yeah Valley Girl

[1:29:46] uh Carly from

[1:29:47] uh

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:48] I will say

[1:29:49] I will say

[1:29:49] do not see

[1:29:50] do not see

[1:29:51] Dog Eat Dog

[1:29:51] avoid that one

[1:29:52] if you're

[1:29:53] you're gonna avoid

[1:29:53] plenty of them

[1:29:54] but avoid that one

[1:29:55] particularly

[1:29:55] and uh

[1:29:56] you should probably

[1:29:56] fit in

[1:29:57] uh

[1:29:57] his performance

[1:29:58] as Fu Manchu

[1:29:59] in Grindhouse

[1:30:00] in that

[1:30:00] in uh

[1:30:01] in the ad

[1:30:01] for Werewolf

[1:30:02] Women of the SS

[1:30:03] don't do that

Dan McCoy

[1:30:04] uh

[1:30:05] Carly

[1:30:06] last name

[1:30:07] withheld

[1:30:08] writes

[1:30:08] my brother

[1:30:09] has worked

[1:30:10] for all of his

[1:30:11] adult life

[1:30:12] in the hospitality

[1:30:13] industry

[1:30:14] in Las Vegas

[1:30:15] we were watching

[1:30:17] Home Alone 2

[1:30:18] with his

[1:30:18] eight year old

[1:30:19] daughter

[1:30:19] and she said

[1:30:20] of the Tim Curry

[1:30:21] character

[1:30:22] he's the bad

[1:30:23] guy right

[1:30:23] after a long

[1:30:25] pause

[1:30:25] JT said

[1:30:26] well

[1:30:28] he's just

[1:30:29] trying to do

[1:30:29] his job

[1:30:30] and I could feel

[1:30:31] the two decades

[1:30:32] of hard work

[1:30:33] and shitty guests

[1:30:34] in his tone

[1:30:35] my question

[1:30:36] my question is

[1:30:36] have you ever

[1:30:37] watched a movie

[1:30:38] in which a

[1:30:39] character

[1:30:39] inspired a

[1:30:40] strange sense

[1:30:41] of pathos

[1:30:42] in you

[1:30:42] because of

[1:30:43] your own

[1:30:43] experience

[1:30:44] love you so

[1:30:45] much

[1:30:45] cheers

[1:30:46] Carly

[1:30:46] last name

[1:30:47] withheld

[1:30:47] I love that

[1:30:49] anecdote

[1:30:50] you know

[1:30:52] he's just

[1:30:53] a guy

[1:30:53] trying to

[1:30:54] make his

[1:30:54] way

[1:30:54] in the

[1:30:55] world

[1:30:55] Kevin's

[1:30:57] kind of

[1:30:57] a shitty

[1:30:58] kid

[1:30:58] I don't

[1:30:59] know

[1:30:59] he's been

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:00] put in

[1:31:00] an untenable

[1:31:01] position

[1:31:01] where he

[1:31:02] is

[1:31:02] trying to

[1:31:04] keep a

[1:31:04] child

[1:31:05] on his

[1:31:05] own

[1:31:05] in New

[1:31:05] York

[1:31:06] from

[1:31:06] I guess

[1:31:07] stealing

[1:31:08] from a

[1:31:08] hotel

[1:31:09] best case

[1:31:10] scenario

[1:31:10] worst case

[1:31:10] scenario

[1:31:11] being murdered

[1:31:11] in the middle

[1:31:12] of the night

[1:31:12] he's the

[1:31:15] hero of the

[1:31:16] movie in a

[1:31:16] lot of

[1:31:16] ways

[1:31:16] I feel the

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:18] same way

[1:31:18] about Tim

[1:31:18] Curry in

[1:31:19] the shadow

[1:31:19] I mean

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:22] in some

[1:31:23] ways I guess

[1:31:23] the wet

[1:31:24] bandits are

[1:31:24] the heroes

[1:31:25] of the

[1:31:25] home loan

[1:31:25] movies

[1:31:26] because all

[1:31:26] property

[1:31:27] ownership is

[1:31:27] theft at a

[1:31:28] certain point

[1:31:28] and so

[1:31:29] they're just

[1:31:29] trying to

[1:31:30] fix the

[1:31:31] iniquities

[1:31:31] in the

[1:31:31] system

[1:31:32] comrades

[1:31:32] sure

[1:31:34] so I

Alonso Duralde

[1:31:37] don't

[1:31:37] know

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:37] I think

Alonso Duralde

[1:31:39] all film

[1:31:40] critics

[1:31:40] have

[1:31:42] empathy

[1:31:42] for the

[1:31:43] Bob

[1:31:43] Balaban

[1:31:44] character

[1:31:44] in the

[1:31:44] lady

[1:31:45] in the

[1:31:45] water

[1:31:45] what's

[1:31:47] your

[1:31:47] problem

[1:31:48] M.

[1:31:48] Night

[1:31:48] Shyamalan

[1:31:48] we're

[1:31:49] just out

[1:31:49] here

[1:31:49] trying to

[1:31:49] make a

[1:31:50] living

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:50] I think

[1:31:51] anytime

[1:31:52] there's a

[1:31:53] character

[1:31:53] in a

[1:31:54] movie

[1:31:54] who is

[1:31:55] the

[1:31:56] like

[1:31:57] exists

[1:31:58] in the

[1:31:58] movie

[1:31:58] only to

[1:31:59] be the

[1:31:59] butt

[1:31:59] of a

[1:32:00] joke

[1:32:00] this is

[1:32:00] not

[1:32:00] necessarily

[1:32:01] based

[1:32:02] on

[1:32:02] life

[1:32:02] experiences

[1:32:03] except

[1:32:03] that

[1:32:03] people

[1:32:04] I've

[1:32:04] been

[1:32:04] made

[1:32:04] fun

[1:32:05] of

[1:32:05] many

[1:32:05] times

[1:32:05] in

[1:32:05] my

[1:32:05] life

[1:32:05] but

[1:32:06] like

[1:32:06] when

[1:32:06] a

[1:32:06] character

[1:32:07] exists

[1:32:07] only

[1:32:08] so

[1:32:08] the

[1:32:08] other

[1:32:08] characters

[1:32:08] can

[1:32:09] score

[1:32:09] jokes

[1:32:10] off

[1:32:10] of

[1:32:10] them

[1:32:10] that

[1:32:10] always

[1:32:11] bothers

[1:32:11] me

[1:32:12] I'm

[1:32:12] always

[1:32:12] like

[1:32:12] don't

[1:32:12] create

[1:32:13] this

[1:32:13] character

[1:32:13] and bring

[1:32:14] them

[1:32:14] to

[1:32:14] life

[1:32:14] just

[1:32:14] to

[1:32:15] it's

[1:32:15] okay

[1:32:16] to create

[1:32:16] a dumb

[1:32:16] character

[1:32:17] and have

[1:32:17] to be

[1:32:17] funny

[1:32:17] for the

[1:32:17] audience

[1:32:18] when

[1:32:18] it's

[1:32:18] like

[1:32:19] your

[1:32:19] heroes

[1:32:20] are

[1:32:20] ripping

[1:32:21] on

[1:32:21] somebody

[1:32:21] and

[1:32:22] you

[1:32:22] created

[1:32:23] this

[1:32:23] character

[1:32:24] just

[1:32:24] for

[1:32:24] this

[1:32:24] purpose

[1:32:24] come on

[1:32:25] don't

[1:32:25] do

[1:32:25] that

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:26] yeah

[1:32:26] it's

[1:32:26] one of the

[1:32:27] reasons

[1:32:27] why

[1:32:27] there's

[1:32:28] never

[1:32:28] a

[1:32:28] character

[1:32:28] in a

[1:32:29] movie

[1:32:29] named

[1:32:29] Stuart

[1:32:30] that

[1:32:30] isn't

[1:32:31] like

[1:32:31] I mean

[1:32:32] it feels

[1:32:33] like the

[1:32:33] character

[1:32:33] is only

[1:32:33] named

[1:32:34] Stuart

[1:32:34] because

[1:32:34] they

[1:32:34] couldn't

[1:32:35] get

[1:32:35] away

[1:32:35] with

[1:32:35] naming

[1:32:36] them

[1:32:36] like

[1:32:36] Nerd

[1:32:36] Bert

[1:32:37] or

[1:32:37] something

[1:32:37] like

Alonso Duralde

[1:32:38] yeah

[1:32:39] I have

[1:32:40] a friend

[1:32:41] named

[1:32:41] Gary

[1:32:41] he's

[1:32:42] very

[1:32:42] angry

[1:32:42] about

[1:32:43] how

[1:32:43] he's

[1:32:43] been

[1:32:43] handled

[1:32:44] yeah

[1:32:44] I will

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:47] say that

[1:32:47] I have

[1:32:47] a special

[1:32:48] antipathy

[1:32:48] for

[1:32:49] movies

[1:32:49] about

[1:32:50] slackers

[1:32:50] like

[1:32:51] or the

[1:32:51] slacker

[1:32:52] character

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:52] we've

[1:32:53] noticed

[1:32:53] we've

[1:32:53] talked

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:54] about

[1:32:54] that

[1:32:54] anytime

[1:32:54] there's

[1:32:55] a

[1:32:55] character

[1:32:55] in a

[1:32:55] movie

[1:32:55] who's

[1:32:55] like

[1:32:56] a

[1:32:56] slacker

[1:32:56] and it's

[1:32:56] like

[1:32:57] why

[1:32:57] can't

[1:32:57] I

[1:32:57] just

[1:32:57] stumble

[1:32:58] into

[1:32:58] my

[1:32:58] dreams

[1:32:59] I'm

[1:32:59] like

[1:32:59] I don't

[1:33:00] care

[1:33:00] about

[1:33:00] this

[1:33:00] person

[1:33:00] not

[1:33:01] interested

[1:33:01] your

Dan McCoy

[1:33:01] hero

[1:33:02] is

[1:33:03] the

[1:33:03] principal

[1:33:05] in

[1:33:05] Back to

[1:33:06] the

[1:33:06] Future

[1:33:06] who

[1:33:07] hates

[1:33:07] slackers

[1:33:08] as

[1:33:08] much

[1:33:08] as

[1:33:08] you

[1:33:08] I

[1:33:09] mean

[1:33:09] that's

[1:33:09] not

[1:33:09] my

[1:33:10] hero

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:10] necessarily

[1:33:11] like

[1:33:12] ogre

[1:33:12] in the

[1:33:13] revenge

[1:33:13] of the

[1:33:13] nerd

[1:33:13] series

[1:33:14] is

[1:33:14] my

[1:33:14] hero

[1:33:15] because

[1:33:15] we

[1:33:15] both

[1:33:15] hate

[1:33:15] nerds

[1:33:16] and

[1:33:18] sleeves

[1:33:18] we

[1:33:19] hate

[1:33:19] sleeves

[1:33:19] too

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:20] and

[1:33:21] anytime

[1:33:22] someone

[1:33:23] in a

[1:33:23] movie

[1:33:24] is

[1:33:24] like

[1:33:25] in

[1:33:25] the

[1:33:25] story

[1:33:25] anytime

[1:33:26] someone's

[1:33:26] trying

[1:33:26] to do

[1:33:27] their

[1:33:27] job

[1:33:27] and

[1:33:27] it

[1:33:27] involves

[1:33:28] customer

[1:33:28] service

[1:33:28] of

[1:33:28] some

[1:33:29] kind

[1:33:29] and

[1:33:30] the

[1:33:30] hero

[1:33:30] is

[1:33:31] being

[1:33:31] the

[1:33:33] protagonist

[1:33:33] is

[1:33:33] being

[1:33:33] difficult

[1:33:34] or

[1:33:37] unreasonable

[1:33:37] and

[1:33:38] we're

[1:33:38] supposed

[1:33:38] to

[1:33:39] get

[1:33:39] mad

[1:33:39] at

[1:33:39] the

[1:33:39] customer

[1:33:40] service

[1:33:41] person

[1:33:41] for

[1:33:41] not

[1:33:41] bending

[1:33:42] to

[1:33:42] their

[1:33:42] will

[1:33:42] I'm

[1:33:42] always

[1:33:43] like

[1:33:43] hey

[1:33:43] do

[1:33:44] things

[1:33:44] the

[1:33:44] right

[1:33:44] way

[1:33:44] come

[1:33:45] on

[1:33:45] it

[1:33:46] reminds

[1:33:46] me

[1:33:46] of

[1:33:47] working

[1:33:47] at

[1:33:47] Barnes

[1:33:47] Noble

[1:33:47] and

[1:33:48] having

[1:33:48] people

[1:33:48] come

[1:33:48] in

[1:33:48] and

[1:33:48] demand

[1:33:49] books

[1:33:49] that

[1:33:50] didn't

[1:33:50] exist

[1:33:50] and

[1:33:50] get

[1:33:51] mad

[1:33:51] at

[1:33:51] me

[1:33:51] and demand

[1:33:52] see

[1:33:52] the

[1:33:52] manager

[1:33:52] when

[1:33:53] I

[1:33:53] could

[1:33:53] not

[1:33:53] magically

[1:33:54] produce

[1:33:55] them

[1:33:55] yeah

[1:33:56] they'd

[1:33:57] come in

[1:33:58] and be

[1:33:58] like

[1:33:58] where's

[1:33:58] that

[1:33:59] red

[1:33:59] book

[1:33:59] I

[1:33:59] saw

[1:33:59] where's

[1:34:00] that

[1:34:00] someone

[1:34:00] came in

[1:34:00] and said

[1:34:01] where's

[1:34:01] the book

[1:34:01] with a

[1:34:01] blue

[1:34:02] cover

[1:34:02] that I

[1:34:03] saw

[1:34:03] a month

[1:34:03] ago

[1:34:04] and I

[1:34:04] was like

[1:34:04] I don't

[1:34:05] know

[1:34:05] who was

[1:34:05] it by

[1:34:06] I don't

[1:34:06] know

[1:34:06] what was

[1:34:07] the title

[1:34:07] I don't

[1:34:07] know

[1:34:07] what was

[1:34:08] it about

[1:34:08] I don't

[1:34:09] know

[1:34:09] and I

[1:34:09] said to

[1:34:09] the person

[1:34:09] why do you

[1:34:10] want to

[1:34:10] read

[1:34:10] this

[1:34:10] book

[1:34:11] yeah

[1:34:11] and they

[1:34:12] got mad

[1:34:12] at me

[1:34:13] really gorgeous

[1:34:16] shade of

[1:34:16] blue

[1:34:16] um

Dan McCoy

[1:34:18] hey let's

[1:34:19] move on

[1:34:20] why don't

[1:34:21] we

[1:34:21] to the

[1:34:21] final

[1:34:22] segment

[1:34:22] which is

[1:34:23] recommendations

[1:34:23] of movies

[1:34:25] you might

[1:34:25] actually

[1:34:26] want to

[1:34:27] watch

[1:34:27] rather than

[1:34:28] this

[1:34:28] and trust

[1:34:28] me

[1:34:29] you do

[1:34:30] not want

[1:34:30] to watch

[1:34:30] this

[1:34:30] I

[1:34:31] I'm

[1:34:32] gonna

[1:34:32] go

[1:34:33] first

[1:34:33] and I

[1:34:34] will

[1:34:34] give

[1:34:34] you

[1:34:35] I'm

[1:34:35] not

[1:34:35] recommending

[1:34:36] this

[1:34:36] movie

[1:34:36] that's

[1:34:37] very

[1:34:37] generous

[1:34:37] of

[1:34:37] you

[1:34:38] Dan

[1:34:38] I'm

[1:34:39] not

[1:34:39] this

[1:34:40] movie

[1:34:40] as a

[1:34:41] traditional

[1:34:41] good

[1:34:43] movie

[1:34:43] by

[1:34:45] by any

[1:34:45] means

[1:34:46] although

[1:34:46] there are

[1:34:46] elements

[1:34:47] of it

[1:34:47] that

[1:34:48] surprisingly

[1:34:48] work

[1:34:49] but I'm

[1:34:50] the movie

[1:34:51] Dan you

[1:34:51] better

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:52] you better

[1:34:52] not be

[1:34:52] about to

[1:34:53] tell me

[1:34:53] that you

[1:34:53] watched

[1:34:53] hillbilly

[1:34:54] elegy

[1:34:54] on your

[1:34:54] own

[1:34:55] and we

[1:34:55] can't

[1:34:55] do it

[1:34:55] for the

[1:34:55] podcast

[1:34:56] no no

[1:34:57] no

[1:34:58] I

Dan McCoy

[1:34:58] close

[1:34:59] though

[1:35:00] I'm

[1:35:01] 2002's

[1:35:02] The Country

[1:35:03] Bears

[1:35:04] because

[1:35:05] oh boy

[1:35:06] I watched

[1:35:08] this movie

[1:35:09] and like

[1:35:10] you know

[1:35:11] like

[1:35:11] it is

[1:35:12] the movie

[1:35:12] bad movie

[1:35:14] that has

[1:35:14] made me

[1:35:14] laugh

[1:35:15] the most

[1:35:15] since seeing

[1:35:16] cats

[1:35:17] like

[1:35:17] I

[1:35:18] almost

[1:35:19] laughed

[1:35:19] as much

[1:35:20] at some

[1:35:20] of this

[1:35:21] as I

[1:35:21] did

[1:35:21] and the

[1:35:23] funny thing

[1:35:23] about this

[1:35:23] movie

[1:35:23] is like

[1:35:24] okay

[1:35:24] it is a

[1:35:26] weird idea

[1:35:27] objectively

[1:35:27] to be like

[1:35:28] we're gonna

[1:35:29] make a movie

[1:35:30] that is about

[1:35:31] the

[1:35:32] Disneyland

[1:35:33] attraction

[1:35:34] the Country

[1:35:35] Bears

[1:35:35] which is just

[1:35:36] a bunch of

[1:35:37] bears singing

[1:35:37] country songs

[1:35:39] animatronic

[1:35:39] bears

[1:35:39] not real

[1:35:40] bears

[1:35:40] let's

[1:35:40] clarify

[1:35:41] before Elliot

[1:35:41] jumps in

[1:35:43] bears

[1:35:43] singing

[1:35:44] country songs

[1:35:44] before you

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:45] disappoint a

[1:35:46] generation of

[1:35:47] listeners who

[1:35:47] can't wait to

[1:35:48] get to Disneyland

[1:35:49] again so that

[1:35:50] they can see

[1:35:50] real bears

[1:35:50] singing country

[1:35:51] songs

Alonso Duralde

[1:35:51] and this is

[1:35:53] during the

[1:35:53] period

[1:35:53] bring the

[1:35:54] artificial reindeer

[1:35:55] sausage

[1:35:55] they'll be like

Dan McCoy

[1:35:57] oh these bears

[1:35:58] are gonna love

[1:35:58] this

Alonso Duralde

[1:35:59] reindeer pizza

[1:35:59] sausage

[1:36:00] but yeah

[1:36:00] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:36:00] this is during

[1:36:03] the period

[1:36:04] when Disney

[1:36:04] had a real

[1:36:05] fever for

[1:36:05] making movies

[1:36:06] of its

[1:36:08] attractions

[1:36:09] which only

[1:36:10] struck gold

[1:36:11] with Pirates

[1:36:11] of the Caribbean

[1:36:12] and I guess

[1:36:12] they're making

[1:36:13] Jungle Cruise

[1:36:13] so it's not

[1:36:14] like this

[1:36:14] period is over

[1:36:15] they made it

[1:36:16] Dan

[1:36:16] more

[1:36:16] misbegotten

[1:36:19] ones and

[1:36:20] the funny

[1:36:21] thing to me

[1:36:21] about this

[1:36:22] movie is

[1:36:24] is about

[1:36:24] a group

[1:36:26] of bear

[1:36:27] musicians

[1:36:28] who are

[1:36:29] famous bear

[1:36:30] musicians

[1:36:30] who broke

[1:36:31] up and a

[1:36:32] young bear

[1:36:32] wants to get

[1:36:33] them back

[1:36:33] together

[1:36:34] it's basically

[1:36:34] the plot

[1:36:34] of the

[1:36:35] new Muppets

[1:36:36] and no

[1:36:39] one in the

[1:36:39] movie

[1:36:40] particularly

[1:36:41] makes any

[1:36:42] sort of deal

[1:36:43] about these

[1:36:43] bears being

[1:36:44] bears

[1:36:45] like this

[1:36:46] the fact that

[1:36:47] there are bears

[1:36:47] is basically

[1:36:48] immaterial to the

[1:36:49] story

[1:36:49] and yet they

[1:36:50] are bears

[1:36:52] posits a world

[1:36:53] in which like

[1:36:54] 90% of people

[1:36:55] are not bears

[1:36:56] but 10%

[1:36:57] are bears

[1:36:58] and everyone

[1:36:59] just you know

[1:37:00] does bear

[1:37:01] stuff or not

[1:37:02] but they don't

[1:37:03] do bear

[1:37:03] stuff

[1:37:03] they're at

[1:37:04] a buffet

[1:37:05] they're like

[1:37:05] singing songs

[1:37:07] and the thing

[1:37:08] is the songs

[1:37:08] are actually

[1:37:09] like there's a

[1:37:10] lot of talent

[1:37:11] behind this movie

[1:37:12] the songwriter

[1:37:13] is like a

[1:37:14] famous songwriter

[1:37:15] I can't remember

[1:37:16] like he

[1:37:16] John Hyatt

[1:37:18] wrote a lot

[1:37:20] of the songs

[1:37:20] Brian Setzer

[1:37:21] wrote some of

[1:37:21] them

[1:37:22] Bella Fleck

[1:37:23] was involved

[1:37:24] Elton John

[1:37:25] Bonnie Raitt

[1:37:26] and Don Henley

[1:37:26] are some of the

[1:37:27] singing voices

[1:37:28] and in this movie

[1:37:29] you've got

[1:37:29] Christopher Walken

[1:37:31] Haley Joel

[1:37:32] Joel Osmond

[1:37:33] is the

[1:37:33] tiny bear

[1:37:34] MC Ganey

[1:37:35] is the

[1:37:36] human member

[1:37:36] of the

[1:37:37] bear band

[1:37:38] amazing

[1:37:38] you've got

[1:37:39] Toby Huss

[1:37:40] in it

[1:37:40] Brad Garrett

[1:37:43] Steven Root

[1:37:44] are some of the

[1:37:44] bears

[1:37:45] like there's a lot

[1:37:45] of talent

[1:37:46] put behind this

[1:37:47] movie

[1:37:47] but the fatal

[1:37:48] flaw is this is a

[1:37:49] movie about the

[1:37:49] country bears

[1:37:50] none of this

[1:37:51] talent can

[1:37:52] overcome the

[1:37:52] fat

[1:37:52] so it's one

[1:37:53] of those

[1:37:53] cat situations

[1:37:54] where you're

[1:37:54] like wow

[1:37:55] they are

[1:37:55] really trying

[1:37:56] to make this

[1:37:57] work

[1:37:57] and putting

[1:37:58] all their

[1:37:59] energy into

[1:37:59] a totally

[1:38:00] misbegotten

[1:38:01] idea

[1:38:01] and somehow

[1:38:02] that makes

[1:38:03] it all the

[1:38:03] more exciting

[1:38:04] to watch

[1:38:04] so I had

[1:38:05] a lot of

[1:38:05] bears in

Alonso Duralde

[1:38:06] this world

[1:38:06] do anything

[1:38:07] besides sing

[1:38:08] like do they

[1:38:09] have like a

[1:38:09] bear agent

[1:38:10] or

[1:38:10] there's a

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:12] bear janitor

[1:38:13] just cleaning

[1:38:14] up after

[1:38:15] them in one

[1:38:15] scene

Dan McCoy

[1:38:15] there's the

[1:38:16] kid bear

[1:38:17] who wants

[1:38:18] to get the

[1:38:19] back together

[1:38:19] who has no

[1:38:21] job because

[1:38:21] it is a

[1:38:22] kid bear

[1:38:23] who has been

[1:38:23] adopted by

[1:38:24] Stephen

[1:38:24] Topolowski

[1:38:25] family

[1:38:26] and the

[1:38:28] other son

[1:38:29] and the

[1:38:30] one like joke

[1:38:31] referring to the

[1:38:31] fact that there

[1:38:32] are bears in

[1:38:32] this universe

[1:38:33] the other son

[1:38:34] is like

[1:38:34] like mind

[1:38:36] boggled that

[1:38:37] this child

[1:38:37] doesn't realize

[1:38:38] that he is

[1:38:39] adopted because

[1:38:40] he is a

[1:38:40] bear

[1:38:41] which is not

[1:38:43] a bad joke

[1:38:43] and then the

[1:38:44] rest of the

[1:38:45] movie doesn't

[1:38:45] really make

[1:38:46] hay about it

[1:38:46] at all

[1:38:47] it's a strange

[1:38:48] movie I can't

[1:38:49] quite get

[1:38:50] across like

[1:38:51] how it bent

[1:38:52] my mind

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:52] I like the

[1:38:53] idea that the

[1:38:55] people making

[1:38:55] the movie were

[1:38:56] like no

[1:38:57] one's going

[1:38:57] to be

[1:38:57] interested in

[1:38:57] how a

[1:38:58] bunch of

[1:38:58] bears started

[1:38:59] and became

[1:38:59] a band

[1:39:00] we got to

[1:39:01] pick up

[1:39:01] after the

[1:39:02] band's

[1:39:03] broken up

[1:39:03] nobody's

[1:39:04] interested in

[1:39:04] the origin

[1:39:05] of a

[1:39:05] country bear

[1:39:05] band

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:06] isn't there

[1:39:07] like a

[1:39:07] montage of

[1:39:08] Christopher

[1:39:08] Walken

[1:39:09] gleefully

[1:39:10] destroying

[1:39:10] scale models

[1:39:12] of country

[1:39:12] bears

[1:39:13] like music

[1:39:14] halls or

[1:39:14] something

Dan McCoy

[1:39:15] he is

[1:39:17] I mean

[1:39:17] like

[1:39:17] he is

[1:39:19] committing

[1:39:20] Christopher

[1:39:20] Walken

[1:39:21] he is

[1:39:21] not phoning

[1:39:23] this part

[1:39:23] in

[1:39:23] he is

[1:39:25] very angry

[1:39:25] about these

[1:39:26] for reasons

[1:39:27] that become

[1:39:28] clear late

[1:39:28] in the movie

[1:39:28] don't spoil it

[1:39:30] Dan

[1:39:30] don't spoil it

[1:39:31] like good

[1:39:31] nemeses do

[1:39:32] with their

[1:39:33] heroes

[1:39:33] and

[1:39:33] but it

[1:39:35] is

[1:39:35] it is a

[1:39:36] wacky movie

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:37] now Dan

[1:39:37] you said

[1:39:38] MC Ganey

[1:39:38] was the

[1:39:38] human

[1:39:39] member

[1:39:39] of the

[1:39:39] band

[1:39:39] why do

[1:39:40] they have

[1:39:40] a human

[1:39:40] member

[1:39:41] in the

[1:39:41] band

[1:39:41] I don't

[1:39:42] know

Dan McCoy

[1:39:42] he's a

[1:39:42] drummer

[1:39:42] is it

[1:39:44] possible

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:45] he was

[1:39:46] supposed to

[1:39:47] be a

[1:39:47] bear

[1:39:47] and they

[1:39:48] just ran

[1:39:48] out of

[1:39:48] bear

[1:39:48] costumes

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:49] or that

[1:39:50] he like

[1:39:51] walked

[1:39:51] onto set

[1:39:52] and they

[1:39:52] were like

[1:39:52] oh yeah

[1:39:52] that's a

[1:39:53] bear

[1:39:53] and you're

[1:39:53] like

[1:39:54] okay

[1:39:55] the other

[1:39:56] thing

Dan McCoy

[1:39:58] hasn't

[1:39:59] you know

[1:39:59] in common

[1:40:00] with cats

[1:40:00] is obviously

[1:40:01] the main

[1:40:02] characters

[1:40:02] are

[1:40:03] these

[1:40:04] anthropomorphic

[1:40:04] animals

[1:40:05] and it

[1:40:06] is not

[1:40:06] as disquieting

[1:40:07] as the

[1:40:08] CGI

[1:40:08] like cat

[1:40:10] fur put

[1:40:10] over

[1:40:10] normal

[1:40:11] people

[1:40:11] but it

[1:40:12] is sort

[1:40:12] of

[1:40:13] it is a

[1:40:13] weird

[1:40:13] look

[1:40:14] because

[1:40:14] these

[1:40:15] are

[1:40:15] people

[1:40:15] in

[1:40:16] bear

[1:40:16] suits

[1:40:16] it seems

[1:40:17] with

[1:40:18] bear

[1:40:18] heads

[1:40:19] and

[1:40:20] they fall

[1:40:21] square in

[1:40:21] the middle

[1:40:22] of the

[1:40:22] uncanny

[1:40:22] valley

[1:40:22] so

[1:40:23] it's an

[1:40:24] unusual

[1:40:25] experience

[1:40:25] well it's

Alonso Duralde

[1:40:27] on Disney

[1:40:27] plus you can

[1:40:28] watch it

[1:40:28] after the

[1:40:29] man

[1:40:29] talking

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:33] just now

[1:40:33] reminded me

[1:40:33] that cats

[1:40:34] is on

[1:40:34] HBO max

[1:40:35] so I'm

[1:40:35] I think

[1:40:36] this may be

[1:40:37] the night

[1:40:37] when I force

[1:40:37] my wife

[1:40:38] to watch

[1:40:38] it

[1:40:38] oh man

Dan McCoy

[1:40:39] my wife

[1:40:40] report back

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:41] my wife and I

[1:40:43] talk about

[1:40:43] watching cats

[1:40:44] the same way

[1:40:45] that some

[1:40:45] couples talk

[1:40:46] about like

[1:40:46] having a

[1:40:47] threesome

[1:40:47] where she

[1:40:48] I don't

[1:40:49] think she

[1:40:49] where she's

[1:40:50] like not

[1:40:50] that into

[1:40:51] it but

[1:40:51] she'll do

[1:40:52] it for

[1:40:52] me you

[1:40:52] know so

[1:40:53] she's

[1:40:53] like yeah

[1:40:53] I guess

[1:40:54] I'd

[1:40:54] watch cats

[1:40:54] with you

[1:40:55] and I'm

[1:40:55] like maybe

[1:40:56] tonight's

[1:40:56] the night

[1:40:56] she wants

Alonso Duralde

[1:41:00] to be

[1:41:00] GGG

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:00] yeah

[1:41:01] uh okay

[1:41:03] so I'm

[1:41:03] going to

[1:41:03] recommend a

[1:41:04] movie

[1:41:04] the year

[1:41:05] 1990

[1:41:06] the city

[1:41:07] Detroit

[1:41:09] Michigan

[1:41:09] the movie

[1:41:10] martial law

[1:41:12] that's right

[1:41:13] it's a martial

[1:41:14] arts movie

[1:41:15] set in

[1:41:15] Michigan

[1:41:16] uh we

[1:41:17] have uh

[1:41:18] it's about a

[1:41:19] pair of police

[1:41:20] officers

[1:41:20] one played

[1:41:21] by uh

[1:41:23] the son

[1:41:23] of uh

[1:41:25] what's his name

[1:41:25] give me a second

[1:41:26] I fucked that up

[1:41:27] it's okay

[1:41:28] don't no

[1:41:28] don't don't erase

[1:41:29] it don't erase

[1:41:30] what I just

[1:41:30] said I'm

[1:41:30] fixing it

[1:41:31] okay I'm

[1:41:32] almost there

[1:41:32] yeah uh

[1:41:33] yeah so it's

[1:41:34] played by uh

[1:41:35] the the lead is

[1:41:36] played by Chad

[1:41:36] McQueen who is

[1:41:37] the son of

[1:41:38] screen legend

[1:41:39] Steve McQueen

[1:41:40] and his partner

[1:41:41] so Steve McQueen

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:41] is the name you

[1:41:42] couldn't remember

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:42] yeah

[1:41:43] yeah

[1:41:44] okay

[1:41:44] yeah I mean

[1:41:45] that's fair

[1:41:45] that was pretty

[1:41:46] clear um

[1:41:47] and his uh

[1:41:48] and his partner

[1:41:49] is played by

[1:41:50] the always

[1:41:51] wonderful

[1:41:51] Cynthia Rothrock

[1:41:53] she's amazing

[1:41:54] um and it's

[1:41:56] a movie filled

[1:41:56] with karate

[1:41:57] mullets

[1:41:58] uh it opens

[1:42:00] with a hostage

[1:42:01] scene where

[1:42:02] our hero

[1:42:03] dresses up like

[1:42:04] a pizza delivery

[1:42:05] guy and then

[1:42:05] beats the shit

[1:42:06] out of a bunch

[1:42:06] of criminals

[1:42:07] and the action

[1:42:09] is shot well

[1:42:10] in that every

[1:42:11] time uh

[1:42:12] somebody gets

[1:42:13] hit there's

[1:42:13] always some

[1:42:14] kind of a

[1:42:14] reaction shot

[1:42:15] so like

[1:42:16] when uh

[1:42:17] when our hero

[1:42:18] blasts somebody

[1:42:19] in the jewels

[1:42:20] the guy

[1:42:20] it cuts to a

[1:42:21] shot of the

[1:42:21] guy being like

[1:42:22] ah my nuts

[1:42:23] it's great

[1:42:24] uh and of

[1:42:25] course the

[1:42:25] villain in a

[1:42:26] world of

[1:42:26] hockey mullets

[1:42:27] uh the

[1:42:27] villain is the

[1:42:28] only unmulleted

[1:42:29] karate fellow

[1:42:30] that's right

[1:42:31] david carradine

[1:42:32] is in this

[1:42:32] movie and he

[1:42:33] in every scene

[1:42:34] he's got a

[1:42:34] really cool

[1:42:35] stick and he

[1:42:36] practices the

[1:42:36] technique of

[1:42:37] dim mock

[1:42:38] where he punches

[1:42:38] people in the

[1:42:39] chest and they

[1:42:40] die from it

[1:42:40] it's great

[1:42:43] is the movie

[1:42:43] steward is me

[1:42:45] thank you

[1:42:46] i'm glad i'm

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:51] glad we're both

[1:42:52] we're all

[1:42:52] bringing out the

[1:42:53] real big guns

[1:42:54] on the day

[1:42:54] we have

[1:42:54] alonzo here

[1:42:55] someone who

[1:42:56] knows film

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:57] better than

[1:42:57] any of us

[1:42:58] uh

[1:42:59] i mean

[1:43:01] in martial

[1:43:02] law

[1:43:02] where's elliot

[1:43:03] gonna go

[1:43:03] how much

[1:43:04] deeper can we

[1:43:05] go

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:05] i feel like

[1:43:06] i need to

[1:43:07] i feel like

[1:43:07] i need to

[1:43:07] rework my

[1:43:08] recommendation

[1:43:08] i was

[1:43:09] seeing as

[1:43:10] today

[1:43:10] involved a

[1:43:11] child

[1:43:12] and uh

[1:43:13] and uh

[1:43:14] trauma

[1:43:14] i decided

[1:43:15] to go with

[1:43:15] a movie

[1:43:16] that i

[1:43:16] watched

[1:43:16] just recently

[1:43:17] that i

[1:43:17] had only

[1:43:18] learned of

[1:43:19] recently

[1:43:20] called ladybug

[1:43:21] ladybug

[1:43:21] from 1963

[1:43:22] and it's

[1:43:23] a movie

[1:43:24] about uh

[1:43:25] a group of

[1:43:26] school children

[1:43:26] there's an

[1:43:27] elementary school

[1:43:28] that gets

[1:43:28] an alert

[1:43:29] that a

[1:43:30] nuclear bomb

[1:43:31] is going to be

[1:43:31] dropped in the

[1:43:32] area that the

[1:43:32] war has started

[1:43:33] and they

[1:43:35] so they go

[1:43:35] through what

[1:43:36] they're supposed

[1:43:36] to go through

[1:43:36] which is that

[1:43:37] the teachers

[1:43:37] take all the

[1:43:38] kids home

[1:43:38] and it's

[1:43:40] kind of about

[1:43:40] how the

[1:43:42] adults are

[1:43:42] at a total

[1:43:43] loss to really

[1:43:44] know what to

[1:43:44] do in this

[1:43:45] situation

[1:43:45] they don't

[1:43:45] know if

[1:43:46] it's even

[1:43:46] a really

[1:43:46] real alert

[1:43:47] a lot

[1:43:47] or not

[1:43:48] and how

[1:43:48] the kids

[1:43:49] are left

[1:43:49] to fend

[1:43:50] for themselves

[1:43:50] more or less

[1:43:51] and it's not

[1:43:52] like a

[1:43:52] lord of the

[1:43:53] flies type

[1:43:53] thing

[1:43:54] it's more

[1:43:54] of a

[1:43:55] the children

[1:43:56] trying to

[1:43:57] mirror

[1:43:57] and make

[1:43:58] sense of

[1:43:59] the emotions

[1:44:00] that the

[1:44:00] adults are

[1:44:00] feeling

[1:44:01] and taking

[1:44:01] on those

[1:44:01] roles

[1:44:02] and by

[1:44:03] doing so

[1:44:03] kind of

[1:44:04] showing how

[1:44:04] ridiculous

[1:44:05] they all

[1:44:05] are

[1:44:05] and seeing

[1:44:06] it

[1:44:07] really

[1:44:07] brought home

[1:44:09] to me

[1:44:09] some things

[1:44:10] that i

[1:44:10] kind of

[1:44:10] didn't want

[1:44:10] to admit

[1:44:11] to myself

[1:44:11] about

[1:44:12] children

[1:44:12] during the

[1:44:12] pandemic

[1:44:13] right now

[1:44:13] and specifically

[1:44:14] about me

[1:44:15] and my

[1:44:15] kids

[1:44:16] and how

[1:44:17] i need to

[1:44:18] pay more

[1:44:18] attention to

[1:44:18] kind of

[1:44:19] how they're

[1:44:20] reacting to

[1:44:21] this whole

[1:44:21] situation

[1:44:21] through my

[1:44:23] reaction to

[1:44:23] it

[1:44:23] there's one

[1:44:24] scene in

[1:44:25] particular

[1:44:25] where this

[1:44:25] girl runs

[1:44:26] home and

[1:44:26] her dad

[1:44:26] is like a

[1:44:27] farmer and

[1:44:27] he's shoveling

[1:44:28] some stuff

[1:44:28] i don't know

[1:44:28] what he's

[1:44:29] doing and

[1:44:30] she's like

[1:44:30] the bombs

[1:44:31] the war

[1:44:31] started the

[1:44:32] bombs are

[1:44:32] dropping

[1:44:32] and he's

[1:44:33] like what

[1:44:33] and she's

[1:44:34] like the

[1:44:34] war they're

[1:44:35] gonna they're

[1:44:35] dropping the

[1:44:35] bombs and

[1:44:36] he's like

[1:44:36] i'm busy

[1:44:37] i've got

[1:44:37] work to do

[1:44:37] go talk to

[1:44:38] your mother

[1:44:38] and i was

[1:44:39] like oh

[1:44:39] well that

[1:44:40] hits home

[1:44:40] i've had that

[1:44:41] conversation

[1:44:41] with my son

[1:44:42] times in

[1:44:42] the past

[1:44:43] year where

[1:44:44] it's like he's

[1:44:44] like worried

[1:44:45] about something

[1:44:45] and i'm like

[1:44:45] i've got work

[1:44:46] to do like

[1:44:46] we'll deal

[1:44:47] with it

[1:44:47] later so

[1:44:48] uh it

[1:44:48] really struck

[1:44:49] home for

[1:44:49] me not in

[1:44:50] the way that

[1:44:50] the filmmakers

[1:44:51] intended because

[1:44:52] the movie is

[1:44:52] almost 60

[1:44:53] years old but

[1:44:54] it's called

[1:44:54] ladybug ladybug

[1:44:55] and it's i

[1:44:56] think it just

[1:44:57] got released

[1:44:58] or released

[1:44:58] on dvd but

[1:44:59] i found the

[1:45:00] whole thing on

[1:45:01] youtube so

[1:45:01] that's where i

[1:45:01] watched it but

[1:45:02] uh it was

[1:45:03] really good and

[1:45:04] it's got uh

[1:45:04] some very early

[1:45:05] performances

[1:45:05] on film from

[1:45:06] william daniels

[1:45:07] and nancy

[1:45:09] marshand and

[1:45:09] estelle parsons

[1:45:10] so there's a

[1:45:11] bunch of really

[1:45:11] good actors in

[1:45:12] it but they're

[1:45:13] it's mostly about

[1:45:13] the kids so

[1:45:15] that's what i'd

[1:45:15] recommend alonzo

[1:45:16] what have you

[1:45:17] got is it

[1:45:17] going to be my

[1:45:18] bleak end or

[1:45:19] their fun end

[1:45:20] of the spectrum

Alonso Duralde

[1:45:20] oh well you

[1:45:21] know i'll tell

[1:45:22] you i i this

[1:45:23] is because

[1:45:24] when you write

[1:45:24] a book about

[1:45:26] christmas movies

[1:45:26] you get asked

[1:45:27] to do a lot of

[1:45:28] podcasts in

[1:45:28] december and i

[1:45:29] love that um

[1:45:30] but i figure

[1:45:31] anybody who wants

[1:45:32] to hear me

[1:45:32] recommend happiest

[1:45:33] season has heard

[1:45:34] me do it about

[1:45:34] 10 times

[1:45:35] so i'm gonna

[1:45:36] go firmly in

[1:45:36] the elliot

[1:45:37] camp and bum

[1:45:38] everybody out

[1:45:38] with an amazing

[1:45:40] romanian documentary

[1:45:41] about health care

[1:45:42] called it's

[1:45:45] called collective

[1:45:46] and it is

[1:45:47] basically about

[1:45:48] how um

[1:45:50] there there

[1:45:51] was this uh

[1:45:52] though it begins

[1:45:53] with like a

[1:45:54] fire in a in a

[1:45:56] in a nightclub

[1:45:57] where all these

[1:45:57] people died

[1:45:58] because there

[1:45:58] weren't enough

[1:45:59] exits and it

[1:46:00] sort of exposed

[1:46:01] this like government

[1:46:01] corruption so this

[1:46:02] other government

[1:46:03] gets to come in

[1:46:03] for a year and

[1:46:04] take over

[1:46:04] and they're

[1:46:05] trying to work

[1:46:06] out the health

[1:46:07] care stuff

[1:46:07] because like a

[1:46:08] bunch of people

[1:46:08] who should have

[1:46:09] survived that

[1:46:10] incident didn't

[1:46:11] and it just the

[1:46:12] onion unravels and

[1:46:13] it's just more and

[1:46:14] more levels of

[1:46:14] corruption and of

[1:46:15] chicanery and

[1:46:16] awful stuff and

[1:46:18] just when they get

[1:46:18] really close to

[1:46:19] nailing the people

[1:46:20] responsible the

[1:46:21] people responsible

[1:46:22] figure out how to

[1:46:23] use the media to

[1:46:24] change the subject

[1:46:25] entirely so it

[1:46:26] feels very much

[1:46:27] about america in

[1:46:29] 2020 this is a

[1:46:31] film that's made

[1:46:31] in a very kind of

[1:46:33] frederick weisman

[1:46:34] documentary style in

[1:46:35] terms of like there's

[1:46:35] no interviews you

[1:46:36] don't get a lot of

[1:46:37] on-screen things

[1:46:38] identifying who the

[1:46:39] people are necessarily

[1:46:40] but at the same time

[1:46:42] it is edited like a

[1:46:44] thriller it is it's

[1:46:46] intense and breathless

[1:46:48] and very you will be

[1:46:51] very upset by the end

[1:46:52] of this movie but in

[1:46:53] the in a way that

[1:46:54] ideally you'll maybe

[1:46:55] want to change

[1:46:56] everything so yeah

[1:46:57] collective I really I

[1:46:59] love this movie it

[1:47:00] infuriated me but it

[1:47:01] also was that came

[1:47:03] out earlier this year

[1:47:04] right it opened

[1:47:06] earlier this month

[1:47:07] in theaters in a few

[1:47:09] places where theaters

[1:47:10] are open but it's

[1:47:11] also streaming it is

[1:47:12] romania's pick for the

[1:47:14] oscars so it might

[1:47:15] be an international

[1:47:17] film nominee but I

[1:47:18] don't know how docs

[1:47:19] do in that category

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:20] so yeah I've seen it

[1:47:21] on a couple of like

[1:47:21] best of the year

[1:47:22] lists so great stuff

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:24] I gotta see that I

[1:47:25] wasn't aware of it

Dan McCoy

[1:47:26] well Alonso I want to

[1:47:29] say thank you

[1:47:29] sincerely for appearing

[1:47:32] on our show and for

[1:47:34] inflicting here it

[1:47:35] comes he's gonna give

[1:47:36] you the business

[1:47:37] no no I mean

[1:47:38] apologies for the

[1:47:39] six weeks part

[1:47:40] this is this is a

[1:47:41] good kind of pain I

[1:47:42] I didn't I didn't

[1:47:44] like it while watching

[1:47:45] it but it was a lot

[1:47:46] of fun to talk about

[1:47:47] with you guys

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:48] so it's the kind of

[1:47:49] movie that reminds you

[1:47:50] how good good movies

[1:47:50] are yeah because

[1:47:51] you're like oh yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:52] this is a bad movie

[1:47:54] well I'm like and

[1:47:55] we were getting text

[1:47:55] messages from Dan

[1:47:56] while he was watching

[1:47:57] and he was like oh

[1:47:58] if only it were as

[1:47:59] good as country

[1:48:01] bears the movie

[1:48:02] where are the

[1:48:06] jamborees in this

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:07] film wherefore out

[1:48:08] there country bar

[1:48:09] country bears have

[1:48:10] those forsaken me

[1:48:11] yeah so few

Dan McCoy

[1:48:13] jamborees uh but

[1:48:14] uh let's let's uh

[1:48:18] say goodbye for

[1:48:19] another episode

[1:48:20] wait before we do

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:21] that now I'm

[1:48:21] imagining Dan that

[1:48:22] you're now I'm

[1:48:23] imagining Dan you're

[1:48:23] a film critic and

[1:48:24] you have your

[1:48:24] criteria you rate

[1:48:25] every movie on and

[1:48:26] one of them is

[1:48:26] jamborees question

[1:48:27] mark yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:48:28] once again

[1:48:30] Dan doesn't want

[1:48:31] to look into this

[1:48:31] bit as Dan the

[1:48:32] like the like

[1:48:33] exhausted dilettante

[1:48:34] movie fan

Alonso Duralde

[1:48:35] why is everyone

[1:48:37] wearing pants why

[1:48:38] can't it be like

[1:48:39] the country bears

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:40] a vest is all

[1:48:43] they need

Alonso Duralde

[1:48:44] uh I went

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:47] I went into

[1:48:48] I went into

[1:48:51] Paddington 2

[1:48:51] hoping for the

[1:48:55] best the lead is

[1:48:56] a bear check he

[1:48:57] does not wear

[1:48:58] pants check does

[1:48:59] he have a

[1:49:00] jamboree alas still

[1:49:02] no jamborees in

[1:49:03] Paddington's world

[1:49:03] okay well I'm

[1:49:08] giving this movie

[1:49:08] one out of six

[1:49:09] banjo strings

Dan McCoy

[1:49:10] uh as as I

[1:49:15] pine for a

[1:49:16] jamboree I uh

[1:49:18] think it's time to

[1:49:19] sign off thank

[1:49:20] you to maximum

[1:49:21] fun uh for

[1:49:22] having us on the

[1:49:24] network go to

[1:49:24] maximum fun.org for

[1:49:26] a lot of other

[1:49:27] great shows some of

[1:49:28] them about movies

[1:49:29] some of them have

[1:49:30] Alonzo in them

[1:49:31] yeah Alonzo do you

Stuart Wellington

[1:49:32] have anything you

Alonso Duralde

[1:49:32] want to plug yeah

[1:49:34] yeah yeah oh

[1:49:34] golly uh yeah if

[1:49:36] people want to

[1:49:36] follow me on

[1:49:37] twitter it's uh

[1:49:38] a Duraldi a d u

[1:49:39] r a l d e uh

[1:49:41] come for the

[1:49:42] christmas news

[1:49:43] stay for the

[1:49:43] socialism um

[1:49:45] and uh yeah i

[1:49:46] do a crazy

[1:49:47] amount of

[1:49:48] podcasts and uh

[1:49:49] if you would

[1:49:50] listen to them

[1:49:50] that would make

Dan McCoy

[1:49:50] my day um

[1:49:52] thank you to

[1:49:53] jordan cowling for

[1:49:54] editing and producing

[1:49:56] this show uh

[1:49:57] please rate review

[1:49:59] and subscribe as

[1:50:00] they say uh but

[1:50:02] for the flop house

[1:50:03] i have been dan

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:05] mccoy i'm

[1:50:06] steward wellington

[1:50:07] i'm ellie

[1:50:09] kalen and our

[1:50:09] special guest has

[1:50:10] been alonzo

[1:50:11] duraldi

Dan McCoy

[1:50:12] yeah see you

[1:50:13] later guys

[1:50:14] bye i don't

[1:50:15] know what that

[1:50:15] voice was

[1:50:16] no i love it

[1:50:17] this is how i feel

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:26] about alonzo right

Dan McCoy

[1:50:27] now this is how i

[1:50:28] feel about him

[1:50:28] for making us

[1:50:28] watch that

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:29] yeah it was a

[1:50:30] very it was very

[1:50:31] hard to jerk to

[1:50:32] that's what i mean

[1:50:32] by it being a

[1:50:33] tearjerker i was

[1:50:34] crying because i was

[1:50:35] like i can't

[1:50:35] masturbate to this

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:36] uh-huh well i feel

[1:50:38] like you're not

[1:50:38] creative enough my

[1:50:39] man

Ep. #331 - Six Weeks, with Alonso Duralde

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