Ep. #333 - Wild Mountain Thyme

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss wild mountain time.

Stuart Wellington

[0:05] Time repeated the clock king.

[0:07] Well, Bartman, you've got all the time in the world.

[0:11] Ay carumba, exclaimed the Bartman, reaching for a barterang.

[0:19] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[0:22] You're right, it was a hot one.

[0:30] That was a hot one.

Elliott Kalan

[0:54] So is that read directly from a Simpsons story?

Stuart Wellington

[0:59] It's read from my Simpsons fanfic.

[1:01] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03] What's interesting to me is that clock king is a real Batman villain,

[1:07] and yet somehow he's fighting Bartman.

[1:08] Yeah.

[1:09] A parody villain, a parody hero.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11] Elliot, I don't want to blow your hair back or nothing,

[1:14] but the world of fanfiction has a lot of strange mix-ups.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18] Okay, fair point.

Dan McCoy

[1:19] Okay, so this is called The Flophouse.

[1:22] I'm Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23] And I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:25] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:26] This is a podcast we talk about bad movies.

[1:28] But first, before we get into the meat of this ep, let me tell you.

[1:32] Are you excited by this episode?

[1:34] But you'd be even more excited if you saw us saying these things live in front of your face,

[1:38] on your computer, in real time as we say them.

[1:41] Well, buckle up, Chuck, because it's time to tell you the truth.

[1:45] This coming Saturday, February 6th.

[1:47] Not this coming Saturday when this episode comes out,

[1:49] but February 6th, Saturday, 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern.

[1:54] Or for people who are used to seeing it the other way, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific, Saturday, February 6th.

[2:00] We'll be doing a live show, the livest of live shows.

[2:03] And we're going to be talking about, what's this?

[2:05] Teen Wolf.

[2:06] That's right.

[2:07] The maybe most requested movie that I can think of by Flophouse fandom.

[2:11] Teen Wolf.

[2:12] It's about Michael J. Fox when he was a teenager becoming a wolf basketball star

[2:17] and also almost getting the girl of his dreams.

[2:20] But when he turns, he finds out that really his best friend was the girl of his dreams.

[2:23] And his dad is also a wolf.

[2:25] Teen Wolf.

[2:25] We're going to have presentations.

[2:27] Well, you told him the whole story, so.

[2:28] Yeah, so now you don't have to tune in.

[2:29] Anyway, that was our live show.

[2:31] There's going to be, we're also going to have original presentations like we do at a regular live show.

[2:34] We're going to have some special type things that we don't usually do at live shows,

[2:38] but we're adding for this show.

[2:40] We're going to have an audience Q&A where you get the chance to send in a question and we'll answer it.

[2:44] And more.

[2:45] The price for all this is just $10.

[2:48] $10 is the access.

[2:50] One Alexander Hamilton will get you the Flophouse live show Saturday, February 6th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[2:56] Just go to www.theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[3:02] That's simple like the word and ticks, T-I-X.

[3:05] Yeah.

[3:05] www.theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[3:08] And you'll buy not only a ticket to that live show, but just in case you can't make it,

[3:14] because not everyone is available Saturday, February 6th, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[3:18] You also will get access to one week's worth of that video being archived and you being able to watch it whenever you want.

[3:26] You could watch it February 7th.

[3:27] That's a Sunday at 12 noon.

[3:29] You could watch it February 8th.

[3:31] That's a Monday at 6 in the morning.

[3:33] Whatever you want to do anytime.

[3:35] Watch it a few times.

[3:36] Whatever you want to do within that week, you can.

[3:38] And all for the price of only $10.

[3:40] So that's Saturday, February 6th, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[3:44] We're talking Teen Wolf.

[3:45] That's right.

[3:46] All the stuff people love about Teen Wolf.

[3:48] Styles, van surfing, that shot at the end where the guy puts his penis back in his pants and they didn't notice it and they released the movie anyway.

[3:55] It's all going to be in there.

[3:56] We're going to be giving you original presentations.

[3:58] Dan made a funny intermission thing.

[4:00] Audiences get the chance to ask questions.

[4:02] All this kind of stuff.

[4:03] $10, www.theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[4:07] And I want to make it clear.

[4:08] This is not for charity.

[4:09] This is for our greedy myths.

[4:11] So you know what?

[4:12] Throw that money at us.

[4:13] This is not going to help anyone but us, but we need the help.

[4:16] It's going to be a hard time.

[4:17] Saturday, February 6th, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[4:20] www.theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[4:22] Teen Wolf.

Stuart Wellington

[4:23] And, you know, there will probably be a time in the future when you'll be able to see us in person and hand us your $10 in person and make eye contact the whole time

[4:32] so that we know for sure you're the one who supported us.

[4:36] Or maybe you just like the anonymity, you know?

[4:39] Like maybe you don't want anyone to know that you're spending money on a podcast like a bunch of idiots named Stuart Dan Elliott.

[4:46] Wait, hold on.

Dan McCoy

[4:47] Wait, wait, wait.

[4:48] You're not idiots.

[4:49] Both of your sales pitches were good at the beginning and then they took those deep notes on it.

Elliott Kalan

[4:53] Look, well, maybe this will cinch the deal.

[4:55] I bought a special shirt for the show.

[4:57] And if you want to see it, you're going to have to tune in.

Stuart Wellington

[5:00] Yeah.

[5:00] Is it one of those that has a whole bunch of writing on it?

Elliott Kalan

[5:03] Yeah.

[5:04] It's one of those where it's a whole bunch of writing in different fonts that talks about how crazy and wonderful my wife is.

Dan McCoy

[5:10] Well, I want to thank the McElroys for having Lin-Manuel Miranda come by and sing that one line from Hamilton.

[5:17] But we should probably get to the show.

[5:20] Because they're his agent, I guess?

[5:22] Yeah, they are in this scenario.

[5:25] Look, this is not a show where we just plug other shows of ours.

[5:29] This is a show where we watch a bad movie and we talk about it.

[5:32] And, oh boy, we watched a movie of the moment.

[5:36] It's called Wild Mountain Time.

Elliott Kalan

[5:38] How is it a movie of the moment, Dan?

[5:39] This is maybe the least relevant film in the history of filmmaking.

[5:43] And considering I could not tell throughout most of it when it was taking place.

[5:47] Yeah.

[5:48] Until they went to New York and I saw, oh, the modern day New York.

[5:50] I thought it was in the 1940s, 50s.

Dan McCoy

[5:52] Well, no, they mentioned going to The Lion King before then.

[5:54] That's when I was like, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[5:55] But even then, that could have been 20 years ago.

[5:57] It's a long-running show.

[5:58] One of the longest-running shows on Broadway.

[6:00] If not the longest-running.

[6:01] Julie Taymor has done it again.

[6:03] The Lion King on Broadway now.

Dan McCoy

[6:05] I didn't mean that it speaks to our particular moment in culture.

[6:09] If anything, it is retrograde.

Elliott Kalan

[6:11] So it's a movie of the moment in that it exists in this moment in time.

Dan McCoy

[6:14] It is the bad movie du jour, is what I would say.

[6:18] I feel like the most enthusiastic bad movie chatter on the internet I've heard of late has been around this movie.

[6:26] So I was delighted to check it out.

Stuart Wellington

[6:28] To show that we have our fucking fingers on the pulse, baby.

Elliott Kalan

[6:31] Now, I first heard this movie, I want to say.

[6:33] I first heard this movie a few months ago when the radio did a news story about how bad the accents in the movie were.

[6:39] So it was a breaking national news story back when there was still room in the news for stories like that.

Dan McCoy

[6:45] Yeah.

[6:47] Well, this is a movie written and directed by John Patrick Shanley, who is a playwright of Note.

[6:55] He did Doubt, among other things.

[6:58] He did the play that this is based on, which is like a four-person number that ran on Broadway.

Stuart Wellington

[7:05] You should say hit play, just to pump up the episode a little bit.

[7:09] Yeah.

[7:09] So people get hyped.

Elliott Kalan

[7:10] And I think a lot of people would know his work from Moonstruck, which this is a pallid attempt to recreate the magic of in many ways.

Stuart Wellington

[7:17] Or the screenplay for the movie Congo.

[7:21] Or Joe versus the Volcano.

Dan McCoy

[7:23] Or the screenplay for the movie We're Back, A Dinosaur Story.

[7:25] Yeah.

[7:26] Which I'm surprised to learn.

Elliott Kalan

[7:28] Well, I mean, there's a lot of We're Back in this.

[7:30] There's a lot of We're Back.

[7:31] Yeah.

[7:32] And he is a problematic figure for other reasons that we won't get into here.

[7:36] But John Patrick Shanley, so this is somebody who has a mixed bag of work.

[7:39] Some of it, some of the highest heights.

[7:41] Some of it, some of the lowest lows.

[7:43] Dan, where does this one place?

Dan McCoy

[7:45] Well, we'll see.

[7:46] I will say that him being a playwright sort of first makes me think that, like, I could see how this material would work better on the stage.

[7:58] But I think we'll get to that.

Stuart Wellington

[8:00] What was the name of the play?

[8:02] What's the name of the play it's based on?

Elliott Kalan

[8:04] It's like Outside Mullamagala.

[8:06] It's some, wait, hold on.

[8:08] Let me take a look.

[8:09] It is based on the play Outside Mullingar.

[8:11] Okay.

[8:12] Or Mullingar.

[8:13] Now, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[8:13] But that doesn't work as, like, a pun.

[8:17] Because the character specifically has an herb name.

[8:23] There's a character named Rosemary.

[8:25] That's an herb.

[8:26] And Thyme is an herb.

[8:28] So is there a character named Sage?

[8:30] No, I think the pun is more about time and time.

Elliott Kalan

[8:33] Like, time the herb and time the processing of moments.

[8:37] I don't think time and rosemary are meant to be the puns.

[8:41] Now, Dan.

[8:42] John Patrick Schindler directed the movie of Doubt.

[8:44] It's not like he wrote Moonstruck.

[8:45] It's not like he's a, this is a one, this is a playwright only who dabbled in film.

Dan McCoy

[8:50] Well, he also directed Joe versus the Volcano.

[8:53] But he's done three movies as a director.

Elliott Kalan

[8:54] Well, actually, that's not, he not only directed, he was the lead attorney in the case, Joe V.

[8:59] The Volcano.

[9:00] Okay.

[9:00] Which went to the Supreme Court they found for the volcano.

Dan McCoy

[9:04] Anyway, let's get into this movie.

[9:06] Because it's a wild one.

[9:09] So...

Elliott Kalan

[9:09] Dan, how would you rate the Mountain Time in this?

[9:12] Would you rate it as wild, mild, or unavailable at the moment?

Dan McCoy

[9:19] Writer of the Jack Reacher novels.

[9:21] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[9:22] Now, Dan, it's interesting.

[9:23] Now, listeners, we're going to have an, sorry, I'm just going to say, we're going to have

[9:25] an interesting take.

[9:26] I'm looking forward to hearing Dan's take on this.

[9:28] Because I found this movie to not be a wild one.

[9:30] I found it to be an exceedingly mild and dull movie.

[9:32] But Dan, you are so hopped up on it.

[9:34] I want to hear, I want to see what you saw in it.

Stuart Wellington

[9:37] Yeah, and if this movie was a, if this movie was a background level for the Street Fighter

[9:42] video game, it would be Guile Mountain Time.

Dan McCoy

[9:46] Okay, well, thank God we circled back.

Elliott Kalan

[9:49] And if it was, wait, if it was a high C, if it was a Ghostbusters tie in high C flavor,

[9:54] it would be Wild Mountain Slime.

Stuart Wellington

[9:56] If Dan's getting frustrated now, oh boy, we're just starting.

Dan McCoy

[10:00] So, the movie starts, well, it starts with, you know, three or four production logos, as

[10:06] all movies do these days.

[10:07] I think six.

[10:08] Three or four dozen, Dan.

[10:09] There were a lot of production.

[10:10] There's a lot of them.

Elliott Kalan

[10:11] And each getting cheaper looking as they go on.

Dan McCoy

[10:14] And we get a voiceover, and I think to myself, is that Christopher Walken?

[10:19] Sure is.

[10:20] Christopher Walken doing a bad Irish accent.

[10:23] Probably the worst of an uneven bunch.

[10:26] What?

[10:28] But, I mean, you know, he does a good job, even though he doesn't seem Irish at all.

[10:32] And he's doing an intro, just like a bunch of Irish blarney.

[10:36] You know, just toss together some Irish poems and a wood chipper.

Elliott Kalan

[10:41] He says at one point, he goes, they say if an Irishman dies while telling a story, you'll

[10:46] know he'll be back.

[10:47] And I still don't understand what he meant by that, and it never comes up in the movie.

[10:51] But Dan, for you, this was like, ah, ah, glory, McCree, this would be like mother's

[10:56] milk to me.

[10:57] Ah, my people speaking to me.

[10:58] My Irish eyes are smiling.

Dan McCoy

[11:00] Arr, arrr, matey.

[11:02] I'd be a pirate, too.

Elliott Kalan

[11:03] Is that how you felt watching it?

Dan McCoy

[11:05] I mean, so my lineage from the name McCoy, there's, I have an uncle who's very obsessed

[11:13] with the idea that we are of Scots heritage.

[11:17] He, a lot of his identity is tied up in that.

[11:20] He has a kilt.

[11:21] He has a little Scotty dog.

[11:23] He has all the, all the stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[11:25] He's gone all the way.

[11:26] He created a dog for it.

Dan McCoy

[11:28] I've never been convinced we're necessarily Scottish.

[11:31] I don't, I haven't done the genealogy.

[11:32] It seems like maybe we're Scots-Irish.

[11:34] It's not important, but I did look at this opening.

[11:37] And one thing you can say for this film, Ireland looks beautiful.

[11:41] You'll look at, you watch this movie in high def.

[11:43] You're like, I want to go to Ireland.

[11:45] That's what I'll say about that.

Stuart Wellington

[11:47] Yeah, you're like, did I turn the green levels up on my TV too high?

Dan McCoy

[11:53] So Christopher Walken's talking about a guy who loves to shoot crows.

Elliott Kalan

[11:57] Just glass and walk and talking.

[11:59] That's what we call it in the biz.

Dan McCoy

[12:01] This guy who loves to shoot crows is Rosemary's dad.

[12:05] Okay, we meet a young lad who will grow up to be Jamie Dornan from the Fifty Shades movies.

[12:14] Oh, yeah.

[12:15] And he's allowed to have his Irish accent here, which improves his likability greatly.

[12:23] I'm still not sold on him, but this is the most I've thought he's put in a good performance in something I've seen.

Elliott Kalan

[12:29] He was named one of the 25 biggest male models of all time by Vogue.

[12:33] Really?

Dan McCoy

[12:34] Yep.

[12:34] They call him the golden torso.

[12:36] I mean, he's a good-looking man.

Elliott Kalan

[12:37] We cannot deny that, but...

[12:39] He's playing a very different kind of character than Christian Grey here, wouldn't you say?

[12:44] Although very similar in some ways.

[12:45] He is not outwardly defined by his obsession with domination and sexual violence.

[12:51] But at the same time, he is a man who represses his feelings and doesn't think himself worthy of love.

[12:57] So we'll get into that.

Dan McCoy

[12:58] Yeah.

[12:59] So when he's a young child, a young Jamie Dornan, I'll call...

[13:04] I'm going to, you know, generally talk to people...

[13:07] I'll refer to people by their actors' names, because I think it's easier to keep track of it that way.

[13:12] But he loves Fiona, another girl who you think that we'll maybe see again in the movie.

[13:19] We do not.

[13:20] She does not seem to figure into the plot as an adult person.

[13:24] But another child, Rosemary, who will grow up to be Emily Blunt, loves him.

[13:30] And we see a scene where Fiona makes fun of young Jamie, because he's got something on his nose.

[13:37] I think some bee pollen, maybe.

Elliott Kalan

[13:38] He sticks his nose into a flower for reasons that will be revealed at the very end of the movie and are stupid.

[13:44] And so she tells him he looks ridiculous and makes fun.

Dan McCoy

[13:49] Elliot, let me just say that until the end of the movie, you don't know that's something that needs to be explained.

[13:58] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[13:58] Because people do smell flowers.

[14:00] There is a thing that happens at the end of this movie, which is so randomly inexplicable.

[14:04] And yet if it had happened at the beginning of the movie, I would have been like, well, this is an interesting movie.

[14:09] But instead it's like they held it to the very end, because the movie is so sleepy that they're like, we've got to give it a shot of vitamin B at the very end of this.

Dan McCoy

[14:16] No, I agree with you there.

[14:18] We will get to that.

[14:20] But so she makes fun of Jamie Dornan for having this stuff on his nose, young Jamie Dornan.

[14:25] And that makes Rosemary attack Fiona.

[14:28] And Anthony pushes her down to protect Fiona.

[14:32] And this, of course, heartbreaking for Rosemary, because she likes him, but he's not seemingly interested.

[14:40] And she's talking to her dad about it.

[14:43] She's like, I have no place in the world.

[14:45] Where's the place for women?

[14:47] Which doesn't really figure in thematically with her.

Elliott Kalan

[14:50] No, there's a lot of, there's a lot.

[14:52] It feels like a play partly because there's a lot of like, that like faux kind of Irish poetical talk in it.

[14:59] And characters will be like, hey, what are you doing?

[15:02] I don't know.

[15:03] Just leave me alone.

[15:04] Why not?

[15:05] Oh, it's a good thing men are tall because they have to bear the way to the goodness that women bring into the world.

[15:09] And I was like, what?

[15:10] Hold on a second.

[15:11] Like, there's a lot of non sequitur aphorisms.

[15:14] And there's one really good line in the whole movie that I really liked.

[15:17] So congratulations, John Patrick Shanley.

Stuart Wellington

[15:19] Let's see if it's the same line that I liked.

Dan McCoy

[15:22] Well, you know.

[15:23] Maybe it's the same line I like.

[15:25] Who knows?

[15:26] We'll find out after this.

[15:27] Hey, I'm here to talk about the movie Wild Mountain Time.

[15:31] We flash forward from the child versions of our leads to, we see Emily Blunt, full grown, still wearing the exact same clothes, only larger, that she was wearing as a child.

[15:42] I don't know whether she had multiple outfits in different sizes as she grew or they just kept adding cloth to the old clothes.

Elliott Kalan

[15:50] That's what they do in Ireland.

[15:51] The clothes grow with you.

[15:52] You get one set of clothes.

[15:53] Now, Dana, one thing I want to mention because it plays up later.

[15:56] Her dad bucks up her spirit by playing Swan Lake on a record player and telling her, you're the white swan.

[16:02] So she identifies as that.

[16:04] But yeah, I have to assume that they use a growth ray on the clothes so that they fit them later when they're adults or something like that.

Stuart Wellington

[16:11] Otherwise, they'd be walking around with ripped up Hulk clothes, and that would be crazy, right?

Elliott Kalan

[16:14] That would be nuts.

[16:15] Yeah.

[16:16] Who would do that?

[16:17] So it's all in the movie, Molly, I unshrunk the clothes.

[16:22] Which is starring Rick O'Maranis, where he uses a growth ray to make the clothes bigger and everything's fine because it means they can wear them longer.

Stuart Wellington

[16:30] You know, maybe that'd just be really stylish.

[16:33] I mean, I don't know.

[16:33] I'm kind of out of touch.

[16:34] You know, I'm kind of a, I'm not, you know, young and hip as I used to be.

Elliott Kalan

[16:38] Yeah, everyone's still wearing those baggy pants, right?

[16:41] Uh-huh.

[16:42] Chain wallets.

[16:43] Yeah, you don't see a lot of that in the movie, a lot of chain wallets and baggy pants, but maybe.

[16:48] Bowling shirts with flames on them.

[16:51] So, Dan, Emily Blunt, she's Rosemary.

[16:54] What's going on with her?

Dan McCoy

[16:55] Well, her father has just passed away.

[16:58] We learned this.

[16:59] Jamie Dornan and Walken are talking about her dad dying.

[17:02] He was the crow guy, the guy who likes to shoot crows.

Stuart Wellington

[17:06] And Christopher Walken is Jamie Dornan's dad, right?

Dan McCoy

[17:09] Yes, and Emily Blunt's mom comes in.

[17:12] She's worried about what's going to happen to Rosemary.

Elliott Kalan

[17:14] Now, Dan, this is a total waste of time.

[17:16] But do you think if Christopher Walken was ever on the West Wing, that director Tommy Schlammi would have had him do a walk-and-talking?

Dan McCoy

[17:24] Uh-huh.

[17:25] Anyway, continue.

[17:28] Thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[17:29] It's a classic, Dan, it was a classic Tommy Schlammi walk-and-talking joke.

[17:33] Anyway, continue.

Dan McCoy

[17:34] You know, I appreciate that you warned me ahead of time that it was going to be a total waste of time because it did help me not get mad about that.

[17:41] Oh, good, good.

Elliott Kalan

[17:42] I helped you process it, that I was aware that I was wasting your time.

[17:45] So, they're worried about Rosemary, who is outside smoking her dad's pipe.

Dan McCoy

[17:48] Yes, because this is Ireland, and she does not smoke a cigarette.

[17:52] She smokes her dad's pipe.

[17:53] But, um, so Walken tells his son, Jamie Dorn, that he's maybe not going to get the farm when he dies.

[18:02] And the reason Walken gives at this point is that he takes after his mother's side.

[18:07] He's more of a Kelly, and the Kellys were crazy.

[18:11] But we learn soon after that this is obviously all bullshit.

[18:15] He's actually concerned because Jamie doesn't seem to have any interest in marrying, having kids, like continuing the family line for the farm.

[18:25] And I'm like, why does, why does Christopher Walken have to make up this bullshit reason rather than just say what he's thinking?

[18:34] Although the whole movie, I guess the point of it is, as it comes along, that the Irish are all emotionally repressed.

[18:43] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[18:43] This is a movie where the only obstacle to any of them being happy is that they refuse to allow themselves to express emotions to each other until the last possible minute.

[18:52] Which maybe is Ireland.

[18:53] I've never been there.

[18:54] I'd love to go sometime.

[18:56] You know, it looks beautiful.

[18:58] Big fan of Irish food.

[19:00] Big fan of Irish setters.

[19:02] I love the way they set.

[19:03] They have a special way of setting in Ireland that they don't do in other countries.

[19:06] If you look at like a Spanish setter or like a German setter or a Russian setter, they just don't set the same way that the Irish setters do.

[19:15] But Dan, explain this.

[19:18] I want you to get into the interesting stuff.

[19:19] Explain the frontage situation.

[19:21] The frontage?

Dan McCoy

[19:23] With the two farms.

Elliott Kalan

[19:25] Yeah, it's pretty important.

[19:27] It's pretty, it's both desperately important to the plot and incredibly boring and has no impact on anything.

Dan McCoy

[19:31] I'm going to get there in just a second.

[19:33] Before that, though, Jamie Dornan goes out and like they're hanging out, him and Emily Blunt.

[19:39] And they have this exchange that I would like to say where Jamie goes, where do we go when we die?

[19:48] The sky?

[19:48] And Emily Blunt goes, the ground.

[19:51] And then Jamie Dornan says, then what's the sky for?

[19:56] Mm-hmm.

[19:56] Which is weird.

[19:58] It doesn't quite.

Elliott Kalan

[20:00] Well, then she said, I mean, but then she says for now.

[20:02] That's what, that's the point they're trying to get at is that they should be living for now and enjoying the beauty of the world.

[20:07] But I also liked that you did an Irish accent for Jamie Dornan, but not for Emily Blunt, which was an interesting choice.

Dan McCoy

[20:12] I just gave up on it.

[20:13] Where do we go?

Elliott Kalan

[20:14] Where do we go when we die?

[20:15] Do we go to the sky?

[20:16] No.

[20:17] Then where do we go?

[20:18] The ground.

Dan McCoy

[20:20] I will, I will want to, I do want to say that what's the sky for?

[20:24] Just reminded me of the classic Spies Like Us joke.

[20:28] What's a dick for?

[20:29] For peeing.

[20:31] Anyway.

[20:31] So anyway, let's get to the weird driving element of the plot that doesn't make any sense at all.

[20:39] Yeah.

[20:40] So Christopher Walken wants to buy back the entrance to his farm, the frontage, a word that I didn't know before Elliot said it, but where the gate is to his farm.

Elliott Kalan

[20:50] It's his right of way.

[20:52] His farm cannot connect to the road.

[20:54] Instead, there are these two gates that separate his property from this little patch of land that Rosemary's dad owned and gave to Rosemary.

[21:04] And now Rosemary owns it and Christopher Walken wants to buy it so that his farm can go to the road and he doesn't have to deal with these damn gates anymore.

[21:09] And I'm like, hey man, look at what Christo did with the idea of gates.

[21:12] Gates can be really interesting.

[21:13] And Bill Gates was one of the richest men in the world.

[21:15] So maybe don't look down your nose at gates, Mr. Christopher Walken.

[21:18] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[21:19] And the gate was an influential Canadian horror movie.

[21:22] Yeah, exactly.

[21:22] Launched Stephen Dorff's career.

Dan McCoy

[21:24] Yeah, but he's basically just annoyed that he has to frequently, because it's Ireland, get out of his car in the rain, open these damn gates to get into his own property.

[21:35] But the thing is, Rosemary owns this land because her dad gave it to her when she was 10 because that's where Jamie Dornan pushed her down.

[21:44] And so this is some weird spite, but also romantic, I don't know, statement.

[21:54] I don't really...

Elliott Kalan

[21:55] It's a...

[21:56] She has made...

[21:57] It's sacred ground to her, maybe because it's where he touched her when he pushed her.

[22:00] But she has a long-running, unrequited passion for him that verges on stalking by this point.

Dan McCoy

[22:06] So, we see her watching Jamie Dornan the next morning.

[22:11] He's floating down the river in some kind of bucket raft, and he's swatting at bugs with an oar.

[22:17] And Blunt is like...

Elliott Kalan

[22:18] He's doing his best to look like the guy on the cover of Flood by They Might Be Giants.

Dan McCoy

[22:21] Blunt is watching him, like, totally besotted while she's still being like, what's this guy's deal?

[22:27] And here's the thing, like, the movie tries to make out like Jamie Dornan is acting very strange the entire film.

[22:38] And we do learn that he has a strange secret at the end, but I'm watching it being like, I guess he's a little weird?

[22:47] Like, he doesn't seem to be doing anything that odd, but everyone around him acts like he is the nuttiest guy in the world.

Elliott Kalan

[22:55] He's just kind of a clumsy goofball who can't really...

[22:58] He's not super articulate, but everyone acts like he's a madman, you know.

[23:02] Dan, you should also mention, she spent all night looking for her runaway horse, right?

[23:07] Because she has...

[23:08] Rosemary has this horse that keeps breaking out of the pen, almost like a visual representation of her unrequited passion.

[23:14] But that would be crazy.

[23:16] But that would be too obvious.

[23:17] Who would do such a thing?

Stuart Wellington

[23:19] Do you think Jamie Dornan was like, okay, I gotta be...

[23:22] I gotta be wacky in this scene.

[23:24] I'll part my hair slightly differently.

[23:27] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[23:28] So the two of them chat, and he's like, this farm is a prison, but there's a green field and the animal's living off of them.

[23:37] And so he doesn't like to be a farmer, but he loves it too.

[23:42] And he tells her to sell her farm and leave Ireland because there's no place for a decent person.

[23:48] And I don't understand...

[23:49] This is another thing.

[23:50] Throughout the movie, he's trying to get her to get off this island, and I don't get what his deal is.

Elliott Kalan

[23:57] So Dan, I'm gonna...

[23:58] Oh wait, you say what you're gonna say, and I wanna step in with my explanation, and let's see if it's true.

Dan McCoy

[24:02] Part of this movie that...

[24:04] Like, you say that you don't understand why I thought it was so...

[24:07] Such a corker.

[24:09] I...

[24:10] Like, it does mostly all come at the...

[24:13] During the last, like, half hour.

[24:15] But...

[24:15] Also, throughout the movie, I'm just like, no one acts like this.

[24:20] There's no one in this movie.

[24:21] Like, later on, there's one person in the movie who acts like a human being that I could recognize.

[24:27] But, like, the movie does not make everyone's emotional motivations very clear.

[24:34] And in one case, that's, like, leading up to this surprise.

[24:38] But just in general, like, I had a hard time understanding, like, people's relationships, why they were doing the things they were doing.

[24:47] Like, why they cared so much about the things they cared about.

[24:51] Because the movie is...

[24:52] Like, how much time has passed at different points.

[24:55] I mean, it's very unclear.

Elliott Kalan

[24:56] It's very unclear, yeah, what era we're in, what time has passed.

[24:58] Like, it's the Ireland of the 1950s, but they have, like, modern cars.

[25:03] But it is a...

[25:05] The reason that I didn't find it a corker is it's a very slow movie.

[25:07] It's a very slow movie.

[25:09] But also, the characters are such, like, kind of folk Irish cartoons, you know?

[25:14] In a way that, like...

[25:16] The characters, they don't do realistic things.

[25:17] They do the things that someone in a Guinness commercial would do.

[25:20] Or, like, you know, in a...

[25:21] Like, a Waking Ned Divine type movie would do or something like that.

[25:24] But if, like...

[25:26] If Waking Ned Divine was written by someone who desperately wanted to be, like, like, Neil McDonough or something like that.

[25:34] You know?

[25:34] And it's a...

[25:35] But it's...

[25:36] There's a...

[25:37] There's a glimpse of a really good movie in this about depression.

[25:43] And about characters who are struggling with depression and feel like they are not capable of loving or being loved.

[25:48] Or even of enjoying the things they genuinely enjoy because of this, like, hereditary depression that they can't control and they don't really understand.

[25:56] That's not this movie.

[25:56] This movie keeps hinting at that.

[25:58] Like, Christopher Walken later will get to gives a speech where he's basically saying, I suffered with crippling depression and then it was lifted from me someday and I became a better person.

[26:06] But instead it becomes kind of an Irish mysticism thing of a song on the wind, you know?

[26:11] But it's like...

[26:12] That, I think, would have made this movie into something more understandable and believable.

[26:17] But instead it's just a very slow movie where it's like, you know what?

[26:20] Basically she keeps saying, hey, I like you.

[26:22] And he's like, mm, I'm gonna refuse to...

[26:25] I'm gonna refuse to understand that.

[26:27] And she's like, okay, well then I'll tell you something else that tells you that I like you.

[26:30] And he's like, mm, well that's impossible.

[26:32] So I'll just keep doing this.

[26:33] And everyone is like, look at that crazy person.

[26:36] Oh, he's the eccentric of the Moors or whatever it is.

[26:38] Dan, do they have Moors in Ireland?

[26:40] I've never been there.

Dan McCoy

[26:41] Yeah, yeah.

[26:43] But they only have Fens.

Elliott Kalan

[26:44] Do they have Fens or Moors?

[26:46] What about Bogs?

[26:47] Yeah, what about Bogs?

Dan McCoy

[26:48] Wait, are Fens and Moors...

[26:50] Is that a...

[26:51] Are those synonyms but Moors are just in Scotland?

[26:54] I think that they have Moors in Ireland.

[26:55] I don't know what a Fenn is.

[26:58] Well, Sherilyn Fenn, I'm familiar with.

[27:00] Now, what about Shires?

Elliott Kalan

[27:03] Now, do they have Shires there or is that just a Hobbit thing?

[27:05] Oh, yeah.

[27:06] No, everybody has those.

[27:07] Now, when they say that...

Dan McCoy

[27:08] A Fenn is a Marsh or a Bog, so...

[27:11] Oh, so very much not a Moor.

Elliott Kalan

[27:12] Not a Moor.

[27:13] A Moor is Flatland.

Dan McCoy

[27:15] Mm-hmm.

[27:15] With, like, scrub on it.

[27:18] Yeah, yeah.

[27:18] A lot of sheep often.

Elliott Kalan

[27:20] DVD copies of Scrubs, the hit TV show.

Dan McCoy

[27:24] Okay, so Jamie Doran takes it...

[27:26] Do they have a lot of big waterfalls in Ireland?

Elliott Kalan

[27:28] Like, 50, 100, 200 foot tall waterfalls?

[27:32] Yeah, man.

Dan McCoy

[27:33] I think they have some waterfalls.

[27:36] I don't think it's like Iceland where there are waterfalls all over the place.

[27:39] How about deserts?

Elliott Kalan

[27:40] Like, are there any, like, big deserts or, like, desert canyons?

[27:43] I don't think so.

Dan McCoy

[27:44] I mean, unless they've got some permafrost and it's, like, technically a desert or something.

[27:48] Okay.

[27:49] What about, like, a volcano?

[27:50] We're like a plateau.

[27:54] Jamie Doran carefully takes a bee outside.

[27:59] And, again, something that only becomes significant later.

[28:02] Won't spoil it yet.

[28:04] But we were watching it like, is this, like, a save the cat scenario?

[28:10] Like, we know that he's good because he saves this bee.

Stuart Wellington

[28:13] Do you think in the stage production they had a person in a bee costume on stage?

[28:17] Jamie Doran had, like, giant foam hands to, like, from the blind melon video.

Elliott Kalan

[28:22] Yeah, they got the girl from the blind melon video.

[28:24] And that was when she sipped on stage.

[28:27] The audience went nuts.

[28:29] Like, it's one of those things where they get applause just for appearing, you know?

[28:32] Uh-huh.

[28:32] Oh, man.

[28:33] Now, Dan, when you say it's a save the cat scenario, I never knew that the save the cat screenplay method was make your hero likable by having them save a cat at the beginning of the movie.

[28:43] Is that what you're saying it means?

Dan McCoy

[28:44] I believe that's what it means.

[28:46] Are you not?

Elliott Kalan

[28:48] Yeah.

[28:49] That you should always have someone save a cat?

Dan McCoy

[28:52] Well, not literally a cat, but, like, show something like that early on to, like, get you sympathetic with them.

Elliott Kalan

[29:00] Well, how come I've never seen a movie where someone saves a cat at the beginning?

Dan McCoy

[29:03] Yeah.

[29:03] Save the cat is the screenwriting rule that says the hero has to do something when we meet him so that we like him and want him to win.

[29:10] So, you know, it's...

Stuart Wellington

[29:11] Well, like the long goodbye?

[29:12] Long goodbye saves a cat, right?

Dan McCoy

[29:15] Yeah.

[29:16] Inside Llewyn Davis is all about trying to save a cat.

[29:18] I mean, that's where the whole...

Elliott Kalan

[29:19] I wonder if that's when the Coen brothers were like, we gotta really learn how to write screenplays.

[29:22] We gotta read this book.

[29:23] I mean, I wonder if that is the joke of it.

[29:25] Was I right?

Stuart Wellington

[29:26] What?

[29:27] Was I right?

[29:27] Did I remember the long goodbye correctly?

Dan McCoy

[29:28] I don't remember.

[29:29] There is a cat.

[29:30] He goes out.

[29:31] He goes out.

[29:32] The cat is fussy.

[29:34] It only eats a certain kind of food.

[29:36] I think the cat ran away then because the bad food.

[29:40] Can we get back to it?

[29:41] Now, Dan, wait.

Elliott Kalan

[29:41] But then in Batman Returns, the cats save Michelle Pfeiffer.

[29:45] So why are the cats not the heroes of the movie?

Stuart Wellington

[29:48] That's actually a good point.

[29:50] Good point.

[29:51] Good point.

[29:52] And in Wonder Woman 1984, Kristen Wiig's character is a cheetah person.

[29:57] That's kind of a cat.

[29:59] So maybe Gal Gadot's the hero because she saved Kristen Wiig from a war.

[30:04] Gal Gadot is the hero.

Dan McCoy

[30:05] She is the titular Wonder Woman.

[30:08] Can we...

[30:08] Dan, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[30:09] Dan, you can talk about her performance without talking about her body.

[30:11] Thank you very much.

Dan McCoy

[30:13] Okay.

[30:13] The eponymous Wonder Woman.

Elliott Kalan

[30:15] Again, Dan, please.

Dan McCoy

[30:18] Inappropriate.

[30:19] So Christopher Walken gets a letter from his nephew in America.

[30:22] He doesn't want to read it in front of Jamie Dornan.

[30:26] There's a blowup.

[30:26] We don't know what it's about yet.

Stuart Wellington

[30:28] Maybe his readers are really weird looking and that's why I didn't want to read the letter

[30:32] in front of him.

[30:33] His readers?

[30:34] Yeah, his reading glasses.

[30:36] I've never heard them referred to that.

Elliott Kalan

[30:37] I'm learning a lot of terminology today.

[30:38] You don't hang out with old people.

[30:39] Yeah.

[30:39] I got readers, save the cat, Fen.

[30:41] This is a very educational episode for me.

Dan McCoy

[30:43] Jamie Dornan practices asking Emily to marry him.

[30:48] Rosemary Emily to a donkey.

[30:51] He's practicing to a donkey.

[30:52] He's saying these words to a donkey.

[30:54] He kneels in front of the donkey to ask.

[30:57] And this old dude named Cleary is peeking over the wall like in The Simpsons where Mr. Burns

[31:07] tries the pacifier and the paparazzo just goes, what a scoop.

[31:11] He goes, marry the donkey, are you?

[31:14] You are mad.

[31:16] And Cleary, I guess, is the guy who goes around telling bad news to everyone because he tells

[31:20] Dornan that the farm is being sold to Walken's nephew.

Stuart Wellington

[31:25] In a marathon.

[31:25] Then he runs off and Jamie Dornan chases him around because he's like, don't tell anyone

[31:30] about the donkey.

[31:31] Oh, can't put that genie back in the bottle.

Dan McCoy

[31:35] And I don't know at this point really what is keeping these two fuckers apart because I'm

[31:44] like, well...

Elliott Kalan

[31:45] Wait, which fuckers are you talking about?

[31:46] Cleary and Jamie Dornan?

[31:49] Because he hates him.

[31:49] She's leather.

[31:50] Because he's a gossipy old man who's telling people he's in love with a donkey.

Dan McCoy

[31:52] This is not my slash fic.

[31:54] This is...

[31:54] I'm just saying our leads, Jamie and Emily Blunt, like, clearly he likes her at this point.

[32:01] Yeah.

[32:02] So just do it.

[32:04] Like, if he's willing to...

Stuart Wellington

[32:05] Well, I think...

[32:06] I mean, Elliot brought it up before, but they both suffer from crippling depression and also

[32:11] narrative requirements.

Elliott Kalan

[32:12] Yes.

[32:13] They suffer from crippling narrative requirements, which is the real issue.

[32:16] Now, I was saying, too...

[32:17] I was talking...

[32:17] So my wife watched the beginning of this movie with me, and then about 30 minutes in, she

[32:21] said, I don't want to watch any more of this.

[32:22] So I watched the rest by myself.

[32:24] But she was...

[32:24] I was talking to her and I was saying, a really well done romance, you know that they're going

[32:29] to end up together, and you want it...

[32:31] And they're so obviously meant for each other that each time an obstacle gets in their

[32:34] path, it frustrates you.

[32:36] And you're like, come on, no, no, no, you got to do this.

[32:38] So by the time they overcome the obstacles, whether they're internal or external, you're

[32:41] like, yes, you did it.

[32:42] Here, like you're saying, Dan, there are almost no obstacles.

[32:45] So it's very...

[32:45] It's this weird...

[32:46] It's almost like a Brechtian experiment in distancing the audience from caring about

[32:52] these people because their problems are so invisible, and you don't know why or what's

[32:57] going on.

[32:58] It's very confusing.

[32:59] So...

[32:59] I assumed going in that this was going to be about two feuding families, and they hate

[33:03] each other, and that's why they're arguing.

[33:05] But no, their parents get along great.

Dan McCoy

[33:07] Well, I also thought...

[33:08] I mean, you know, you see Jon Hamm in the poster.

[33:12] I think this is going to be a love triangle.

[33:13] He figures in in significant but small ways.

[33:17] Anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[33:18] Now, Dan, is it ironic that Jon Hamm is the least hammy performer in the entire movie?

[33:21] That he actually gets the most subdued performance of anyone in the film?

[33:25] Yeah.

[33:26] Sure.

Stuart Wellington

[33:26] I mean, it's kind of offset by the fact that the first scene, or the first modern scene,

[33:31] is Christopher Walken taking a ham from a widow.

Elliott Kalan

[33:36] So...

[33:36] That's true.

[33:37] Oh, there's so much symbolism in this movie.

[33:38] You know what?

[33:39] I forgot.

[33:39] It's a rich stew.

[33:40] It's a rich, mulligatani stew of ideas, themes, and symbols.

[33:44] And I love it now.

Dan McCoy

[33:46] So Blunt is mad at Walken that he's selling the farm to his nephew.

[33:51] And she's like, hey, he'll smarten up and marry me eventually.

[33:55] And again, I'm like, what the fuck's keeping these people apart?

[33:59] Doran's like, oh, it's fine if the farm gets sold.

[34:02] And he's at the bar, and a woman comes up to him.

[34:06] And meanwhile, Blunt and her mom and Walken are in a different bar,

[34:11] where there's old Irish music playing.

[34:13] There they call them pubs.

[34:15] Yeah, pubs.

[34:16] They're at a pub.

[34:17] Sorry.

[34:18] Blunt sings a song that Christopher Walken's wife used to sing,

[34:22] the titular Wild Mountain Time.

Elliott Kalan

[34:25] Again, Dan, there is no reason to comment on her appearance or her body during this.

[34:31] It's a singing thing.

[34:33] There's no reason.

Dan McCoy

[34:35] Yeah, and she has a lovely voice.

[34:37] She's been in musicals before.

[34:38] Emily Blunt, Into the Woods, Mary Poppins.

Stuart Wellington

[34:40] Like Live, Die, Repeat?

[34:42] Live, Die, Repeat.

[34:43] Now, what would be some of the song titles in Live, Die, Repeat?

[34:47] Live, Die, Repeat.

[34:51] There's the Back Again, Here I Am, I'm Not Dead.

[34:56] Hey, there's Tom Cruise.

[34:57] Oh, look at those aliens.

[34:58] Watch out for the aliens.

Dan McCoy

[35:00] Here I am, right where I belong.

[35:02] That's from it, right?

Elliott Kalan

[35:04] That's from Live, Die, Repeat, the musical.

[35:05] Now, what would his I Want song be?

Stuart Wellington

[35:09] Oh, that's true.

[35:11] That's, stop killing me so many times.

[35:15] That was the name of the song.

[35:16] Oh, okay.

Dan McCoy

[35:17] So, there are a few moments that I found genuinely moving in this movie.

[35:23] This was one of them.

[35:24] Christopher Walken watching Emily Blunt sing this song that his wife used to sing.

[35:30] And we see the woman and Dornan are climbing over a wall for some reason.

[35:35] And she's like, I'll never see you again, right?

[35:38] And he's like, yeah.

[35:38] And so she confesses her worst secret, that she slept with a priest.

[35:43] And Jamie Dornan whispers his secret into her ear.

[35:49] And she falls off the wall.

[35:52] It is such a shocking or funny secret.

Elliott Kalan

[35:55] And she's laughing while she falls.

[35:57] But they were drunkenly sneaking over a cemetery wall in bright daylight.

[36:02] Because they've been out all night just wandering around, I guess, drunk.

Dan McCoy

[36:07] So, Jamie's going to the airport to pick up the nephew who's going to buy the farm.

[36:12] And lo and behold, it's Jon Hamm.

[36:15] He and his Irish father are there at the airport.

[36:17] Jon Hamm.

Elliott Kalan

[36:19] You've got to feel bad for the actor who plays the Irish father because he barely appears in the movie.

[36:23] He kind of disappears and evaporates into thin air and no one ever mentions him again.

[36:27] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[36:28] Yeah.

[36:29] And he, so they go to the farm.

[36:32] Jon Hamm shows up a little behind everyone else in a fancy car.

Stuart Wellington

[36:37] Yeah, he's like a slick-wheely American guy, right?

Dan McCoy

[36:40] Yeah.

[36:41] And this puts, well, it puts Dornan off a little bit that he's like this city slicker.

[36:46] But as we will see.

[36:47] And he's also very direct.

[36:48] Well, yeah.

[36:49] As we will see, Jon Hamm is, to my mind, the only reasonable person in this movie.

[36:55] But we'll get to it.

[36:56] And Hamm gives him a white raincoat, which is, I guess, ridiculous because it's just going to get stained.

[37:04] I didn't quite understand why.

[37:06] I mean, it also looks ridiculous.

[37:07] It's kind of ridiculous.

Elliott Kalan

[37:08] Oh, Dan, I have to correct.

[37:10] Earlier I said I referred to Neil McDonough when I meant Martin McDonough.

[37:13] That was the play that I was talking about.

Stuart Wellington

[37:15] Neil McDonough is blue-eyed bad guy.

Elliott Kalan

[37:17] Is the blue-eyed bad guy actor.

[37:19] But I was talking about Martin.

[37:20] He looks like a husky dog.

Stuart Wellington

[37:22] Yes.

[37:23] He does look like a husky dog.

[37:24] Yeah, that's true.

[37:25] Oh, man.

Elliott Kalan

[37:26] So, Dornan is...

Stuart Wellington

[37:27] My fantasies keep evolving, Dan.

[37:29] Thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[37:30] Well, you have to assume that if he was an anamorph, that's what he would turn into, right?

[37:33] Yeah, of course.

Stuart Wellington

[37:35] Oh, man.

[37:36] When's the Neil McDonough anamorph book coming up?

Dan McCoy

[37:40] So, Dornan is wandering the field in his new white raincoat using a metal detector, like he's some sort of detectorist.

[37:48] And Jon Hamm and Emily Blunt look at him like he's, again, some sort of wacky character when he's acting fairly normal.

Elliott Kalan

[37:56] I mean, I wouldn't say it's necessarily normal, but it's not necessarily wacky.

[38:00] Yeah.

[38:00] It falls on that range between, look, have I ever walked around in a white raincoat with a metal detector in Ireland?

[38:05] No.

[38:05] But if I saw someone doing it, I wouldn't be like, lock him up.

[38:08] Get the men with the butterfly nets.

[38:10] Oh, look what he's doing.

[38:11] Oh, Faith and Bagora.

[38:12] Oh, you might, Rabbit.

[38:13] You might.

[38:14] And those are all my Irish voices.

Stuart Wellington

[38:16] Yeah.

[38:16] You wouldn't, like, pull out your phone and take a pic so you can, like, meme the hell out of it.

[38:20] No.

[38:21] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[38:22] So, Hamm is very straightforward with Blunt.

[38:26] He's like, he wants her to sell her land to him.

[38:30] And, like, I am almost immediately on Jon Hamm's side in all of his scenes because he's, like, the only direct human being in the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[38:39] Well, you would feel that way, Dan, being an abrasive, hostile American who just got straight to the point.

[38:44] Instead of living in the negative capability, you might say, and the ambiguous beauty that God above, that Jesus provides for us on this beautiful earth where you got your mixture of happiness and sadness.

[38:56] You got your smiles and your tears.

[38:58] But in the end, I guess what matters the most is family and knowing that family will never tell you how they really feel about you.

Stuart Wellington

[39:05] I just, actually, guys, I just got an alert on Twitter.

[39:09] It says that Ireland's just changed its travel restrictions.

[39:13] Not COVID-related, surprisingly.

[39:15] It says, Elliot Kalin not allowed.

[39:17] What?

Dan McCoy

[39:18] Said, accent worse than Wild Mountain Time.

[39:23] No, he comes into the movie.

[39:24] I'm like, oh, okay, a rational guy.

[39:26] Because, like, he's immediately, like, you know, this is not a literal line, but it's pretty close to the spirit of it.

[39:32] Just like, what the fuck is it with you people in this gate?

[39:35] And why are you waiting for this doofus to come around?

[39:38] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[39:38] Well, now, here's the thing.

[39:39] He's a mostly rational character, except for the fact that there's no reason for him to want to buy a farm in Ireland.

[39:44] It is.

[39:44] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[39:45] Well, we'll learn later on that his dream is to become an Irish farmer.

[39:49] So maybe he's not as rational as he claims.

[39:51] Like, that is how, like, the movie sort of undercuts his position a little bit.

Stuart Wellington

[39:56] I mean, it's either that or, like, start a brewery or, like, a fucking tech company or something, right?

[40:01] Isn't he a Wall Street guy?

Elliott Kalan

[40:02] Maybe that's it, is that he has a company, and he wants to kind of, what, reverse whatever it's called, where you buy a company?

[40:07] He buys that farm in Ireland.

[40:09] Now the farm in Ireland is technically the corporate headquarters for his business, and he's at the Irish tax rate.

[40:15] I bet you that's exactly what it is.

[40:17] Dan, he's just dressing up vulture capitalism as a romantic vision of the Emerald Isle.

[40:22] And, Jon Hamm, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Dan McCoy

[40:25] Okay.

[40:25] So it's going to turn into, like, I mean, this is Scotland, but it's going to turn into more of a local hero sort of situation.

Elliott Kalan

[40:31] I mean, no, mine is much more negative than that.

[40:33] In Scotland, they learn their lesson in Local Hero.

[40:36] In this one, it's just going to be more bad news for American taxpayers.

[40:39] Hi, I'm Elliot Kalin.

[40:41] It's about time we stopped all these companies going to Ireland, and that's why I think maybe I should just go to Ireland and stop the companies from walking in.

[40:48] Ireland, you need me.

[40:49] Anyway, that's my argument.

[40:51] Let me in, please.

[40:52] Have we all been to Ireland?

[40:55] No, I just told you.

[40:56] I told you earlier this year, so I've never been there.

Dan McCoy

[40:58] You've been to Scotland, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[40:59] That's what I was thinking of.

[41:00] I've been to Scotland multiple times.

[41:01] I love Scotland.

[41:02] It's my second favorite country on Earth after my beloved United States of America.

[41:06] But I'd love to go to Ireland someday.

[41:07] But, you know, I guess I'm more Scottish at heart than Irish.

Stuart Wellington

[41:10] Maybe when they lift that restriction, but I don't know.

[41:13] You seem to be digging yourself deeper.

[41:15] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[41:15] Yeah, I don't know.

[41:16] Maybe, I mean, and also there was that time when I beat up the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

[41:20] But that was over a misunderstanding.

[41:22] I thought he was somebody else.

Stuart Wellington

[41:23] It was dark.

[41:23] You thought he was the evil leprechaun from the leprechaun movies.

[41:27] Yes.

[41:27] And you're like, might as well beat him up while you got the chance.

[41:30] Not realizing that if he was the real leprechaun from the leprechaun movies, he could just magic himself away from your attacks.

Elliott Kalan

[41:34] I know.

[41:35] Well, I wasn't thinking.

[41:36] And it's partly because I had just eaten a bowl of what I thought was Lucky Charms cereal, but was actually magic cereal magicked up by the evil leprechaun.

[41:42] And that had really thrown off my perceptions.

Stuart Wellington

[41:44] So I guess.

[41:44] If the leprechaun from the leprechaun movies was a fighting game character, for instance, right, Dan?

[41:48] He would be more of a zoner.

[41:50] It would all be about teleport attacks and like range attacks as opposed to like beat down and brawling.

[41:55] What do you think, Dan?

Elliott Kalan

[41:56] No, I bet you Lucky Charms leprechaun would be one of those characters that throws a lot of stuff.

[42:00] Yes, that's what I'm saying.

[42:01] He's also a zoner.

[42:02] They're not so physically powerful, but they have like a big combo that throws a lot of things at you, a lot of marshmallows.

Stuart Wellington

[42:08] Yeah, like a mega or ultra combo.

Dan McCoy

[42:10] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[42:11] I don't know how accurate this is because it is, you know, on one hand, just something that someone wrote on the Internet.

[42:18] On the other hand, it does come from the leprechaun wiki.

[42:21] So if anyone knows about the leprechaun movies, it's the people contributing to the leprechaun wiki.

[42:25] And the claim over there is that it is not the same leprechaun in all the leprechaun movies, which makes sense because he just gets like blown up and stuff a lot.

[42:34] And no one ever like there's never a scene where he like comes back together and they're like, oh, you know, like he's.

[42:41] You know, a Jason style character who gets like hit by lightning when Tommy Jervis or whatever his name is, tries to dig him up.

[42:49] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[42:50] Now I want to see.

[42:52] I think in the in the most recent leprechaun movie, I think they do.

[42:56] It is the same leprechaun as in the first one.

[42:58] But yeah, you're right.

[43:00] There's no like he's not like some kind of a phoenix that keeps rising from the ashes.

[43:04] They don't address that.

[43:05] It makes sense.

[43:06] Yeah.

[43:06] Now I want to see the scene.

[43:08] Once he's in space.

Elliott Kalan

[43:08] I want to see the prologue scene where it's like it's like the beginning of the Taken sequel where it's like they killed our leprechaun.

[43:13] Now we need to get revenge.

[43:15] Send another leprechaun after them.

[43:17] Yeah.

[43:18] Once he's in space, I guess it's all non canonical at a certain point.

[43:21] Right.

Dan McCoy

[43:21] They just introduce him being in space like he's like trying to marry the space princess.

[43:26] And you don't know how he got there.

[43:28] Like whether leprechauns are just like across the universe.

[43:31] Every planet has a leprechaun.

[43:32] Who knows?

[43:33] Julie Tamar.

[43:35] Anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[43:36] That was a Julie Tamar across the universe reference.

[43:41] Look, we're almost there.

[43:42] If we can mention Titus in Fool's Fire, I think we'll be pretty far along in our Julie Tamar bingo card.

Dan McCoy

[43:47] So there's a scene that doesn't really amount to much where Ham and Dornan pick mushrooms.

[43:54] Emily Blunt's mom goes to the hospital.

Elliott Kalan

[43:56] Now they don't take mushrooms.

[43:57] That would be an interesting scene that might bring us in a new direction.

[44:00] They're just picking mushrooms.

[44:01] And then I think is that when they also feed some cows?

Stuart Wellington

[44:04] Yeah.

[44:04] It would also explain their behavior.

[44:06] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[44:06] I don't understand you people.

[44:09] You never come straight to the point.

[44:10] Oh, well, we're high as balls all the time.

[44:13] Oh, we're always tripping like crazy on these shrooms here in the Emerald Isle.

[44:18] Oh, yes.

[44:19] Oh, well, that would explain a lot.

[44:20] Yeah.

[44:21] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[44:22] So Mother Blunt gets taken to the hospital.

[44:27] And the waiting room walk-in tells John Ham he can't sell him the farm because he doesn't want to tear Rosemary and whatever the fuck his name is apart.

[44:36] And I'm just like, dude, you just made this guy fly to Ireland.

[44:41] And I'm like, uh, psych.

Elliott Kalan

[44:44] But Dan, his action is clearly motivated by something that happened off camera and is never mentioned.

[44:49] So we have to assume something powerful.

[44:51] Yeah.

[44:52] The same way that later in the movie he and Dornan have an emotional moment that is, again, motivated by nothing.

[45:00] Yeah.

[45:00] I guess that is something, if you try to untangle the dynamics of this, it is mainly about Christopher Walken being a man with some sort of dementia that causes him to change personality from scene to scene and everybody just dealing with that, maybe.

[45:13] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[45:13] So Blunt is crying in church.

[45:16] We cut to her.

[45:17] Her mom is dead.

[45:19] A little time passes.

[45:20] Christopher Walken is now older.

[45:22] He needs an oxygen tank to breathe.

[45:26] He's dying and he's finally saying, I will leave the farm to you.

[45:30] But then he tells this monologue where he's like, I never loved your mother.

[45:35] I was just lonely.

[45:38] So I thought, you know, good enough.

[45:40] I'll marry her to not be lonely.

[45:43] But eventually one day sort of love came on him all in a rush when he was out in the field.

[45:51] You know, he starts singing a song that she sings, the Wild Mountain Time song.

[45:57] Like, it all, it all, she, he realizes that he has come to love her and he goes and he sells the right away of his farm to buy her a real gold wedding ring to replace the brass one.

[46:10] And Stuart's snickering, but I gotta say, this is one of the few times, like, like, this is another one of the scenes that I genuinely found moving.

[46:18] I think that part of it is just personal.

[46:23] Like, this is not the same situation.

Elliott Kalan

[46:28] No, no, I remember when you sold the right away of your, from your farm to buy a ring.

[46:32] I was like, don't do it, Dan.

[46:33] You're going to regret it.

[46:34] I'll lend you the money to buy the ring.

[46:36] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[46:37] This is not the same situation.

[46:38] Walk-ins is a little sadder.

[46:41] But, like, you know, like, in my life, Audrey and I dated.

[46:45] I sort of cut things off too quickly because I was like, oh, you know, like, I don't know right away how I feel.

[46:54] But then we became very close friends.

[46:56] And then over time, I realized, oh, wait, I've fallen for her.

[47:00] And, like, the idea of this sort of more closed off man, like, through the course of building this life, you know, sort of having this come on him in a rush.

[47:10] Like, the fog of sadness lifting from him.

[47:14] Like, I found this all very kind of moving.

Stuart Wellington

[47:18] So, I agree with you.

[47:21] I think the, like, I think I appreciate the sentiment.

[47:24] Yeah.

[47:25] But there is something, it was just, it was tough for me to take this scene seriously because Christopher Walken's line delivery, like, I feel like his dialect coach was just watching the whole time be like, what the fuck?

Dan McCoy

[47:37] You have to look past his accent to enjoy any part of his performance.

[47:43] Once you, like, ignore his accent, his acting is, you know, like, Christopher Walken great.

[47:49] You know, it's like, you love to see Christopher Walken.

[47:52] Yeah, he's a fat boy slim.

Elliott Kalan

[47:54] This scene in a better movie could have been a very powerful scene for me.

[47:58] I appreciate that you connect to it personally.

[47:59] Now, would it make you feel different if the song that his wife used to sing that he started singing in the field was hot for teacher?

[48:06] Would that make it any less emotional?

Dan McCoy

[48:09] I went to Tush by ZZ Top.

[48:11] Okay, yeah, it could be, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[48:12] My wedding song.

[48:13] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[48:15] So, oh, yeah, and before Christopher Walken does pass away, he apologizes to his son for threatening to take the farm.

[48:22] They have a sort of a reconciliation.

[48:23] I mean, they were never, like, really, like, super at odds, but this was obviously, like, a big...

Elliott Kalan

[48:28] They were never, they were almost never at odds at all.

[48:30] Yeah.

[48:30] They were just kind of bickering.

[48:31] But this is the kind of scene that you see in a lot of Irish dramas where it's the deathbed admission of love, where it's like, now that I'm dying and I don't have to deal with the shame of you knowing that I love you.

[48:42] I can tell you that I love you.

[48:43] But then Christopher Walken kind of dies off screen, or he just kind of disappears.

[48:46] Characters just kind of disappear from this movie when the film is done with them.

Dan McCoy

[48:50] Well, that's the Wild Mountain time, you know?

Elliott Kalan

[48:53] Like, time takes them away.

[48:56] So, Dornan and...

[48:56] This movie would make more sense to me if at the end they revealed that it was a simulation aliens had designed for the last three surviving humans who happened to be from Ireland, and the aliens only knew what they knew from movies set in Ireland.

[49:07] And they were like, hopefully this will be comfortable for them.

[49:10] We're experimenting with how they deal with these things, you know?

Dan McCoy

[49:14] So, Dornan and Blunt have kind of, like, you know, they're patented, emotionally repressed, lightly, like, sort of circling one another romantically.

Elliott Kalan

[49:25] Very hard to get a patent on that, because you have to show that it's something that has at least one element that has never been created before.

Dan McCoy

[49:31] Yeah.

[49:32] It's his hair, Jamie Dornan's hair.

[49:34] Oh, wow, that was it, really?

[49:36] I gotta say, you know, there's a tradition of, you know, great, you know, tweeds and sweaters and, like, you know, like, getting a good quality piece of clothing and, like, keeping it and mending it.

[49:52] And, like, that is a bigger thing, I feel, over in the United Kingdom and in Ireland.

[49:57] But it, all of the people's clothes are too good in this movie.

[50:02] I know, like, they're all, like, beautiful, like, this is like a catalog of, like, clothes you would get in Ireland.

[50:09] And none of them are dirty, ever.

Elliott Kalan

[50:11] Even though they talk about, there's a part where Jon Hamm is like, to a bystander, is like, you know I'm not an Irish farmer?

[50:18] And she goes, well, your hands don't look like feet.

[50:21] And it's like, Jamie Dornan is beautiful.

[50:23] Yeah, he looks incredible.

[50:24] He looks amazing.

[50:25] Like, and he's the guy who's supposed to be working on the farm.

[50:26] There's a lot of, let's call it, unrealistic appearance in this movie.

[50:31] But, again, Dan, we don't need to talk about their appearances.

[50:33] That's not, that's, it's inappropriate.

[50:34] Okay.

[50:35] And it's not okay.

Dan McCoy

[50:36] So, there's this talk that Dornan and Blunt have.

[50:39] And at one point he weirdly was like, what's a man's place in this new world?

[50:43] And I'm like, are you like a men's rights guy?

[50:46] What is this?

[50:46] Yeah, chill out, dude.

Elliott Kalan

[50:47] It really feels like he's trying out monologues to see if any of them attach to the movie.

[50:51] Like, no, that one didn't take.

[50:53] Okay, cast it aside.

[50:55] What if I talk about, what if I talk about the beauty of the grass?

[50:58] Okay, yeah, it seems to be that, oh, nope, nope, the antibodies from the movie are rejecting it again.

[51:02] Okay, let's try another one.

Dan McCoy

[51:05] So, Rosemary is pretty reasonably like, why aren't we together already again?

[51:13] And Dornan has this talk about, like, dreaming of everyone in the world and, like, being in front of a parade.

[51:18] And it sounds like the end of, like, a Fellini movie or something.

Elliott Kalan

[51:21] It's like, he's describing, yeah, he's either describing the end of Eight and a Half or he is ripping off some of the stuff from Our Town.

[51:28] It's like, it's a very Thornton Wildrey type of speech, you know, that it doesn't, where you're like, what are you, what?

[51:35] Like, what is this?

[51:36] Like, where did you come from with this?

[51:37] He's a, that was one of the few moments where I was like, oh, maybe he is just a weird, maybe he is a weirdo.

[51:41] Like, Rosemary, stop bothering with him.

[51:43] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[51:44] Yeah, and they don't see each other that much.

[51:46] So, it is one of those things that he's probably, like, been thinking about for a while and this weird conversation.

[51:51] Then all of a sudden he's like, finally, a human being I can talk to.

[51:54] And he tells this long story and she's like, what?

[51:58] I thought we were just, like, we were just, like, saying hello.

Elliott Kalan

[52:02] This would have been a better movie if every time someone had, like, a little monologue, the other person went, what?

Dan McCoy

[52:11] So, he tells her maybe she should leave Ireland again.

[52:16] And I have no idea why, but he leaves and she's like, wait, maybe I will leave Ireland.

[52:23] And we see a bunch of crows and she puts Swan Lake on the record player and she dons a white dress and she does kind of a weird dance around the front of her house.

Elliott Kalan

[52:35] She goes into, like, a Swan Lake trance and dances at her house.

Dan McCoy

[52:38] And she's not dancing at Luganza.

Elliott Kalan

[52:41] That's a different thing.

[52:42] That's a different play.

[52:43] Yeah, it's a different play.

Dan McCoy

[52:44] It's not that.

[52:45] Isn't it Lunasa?

Elliott Kalan

[52:48] And she's also not dancing at the Blue Iguana.

[52:50] Also something very different.

[52:52] She's not at the Blue Iguana at all.

Dan McCoy

[52:54] So, she's dancing around in this white dress, at which point Audrey says, if she flies, I'll fucking lose it.

Elliott Kalan

[53:00] Oh, I would have loved that.

[53:01] I mean, she does fly in a plane, but I would have loved if she just lifted into the air.

Dan McCoy

[53:05] Audrey came around.

[53:06] She's like, once we saw the end of the movie, she's like, no, she should have flied.

[53:10] And I agree.

[53:12] Once you see the end of this movie, you're like, okay, there needed to be a lot more sort of weird, almost magical realism sprinkled in from the beginning to key you in to the tone of what they're trying to do.

Elliott Kalan

[53:26] I mean, this movie is weirdly like someone is doing like this Irish romantic drama, but there's like a Jupiter ascending underneath it that's trying to crack out at different moments.

[53:41] And it's like, oh, let that Jupiter ascending out.

[53:43] Like, this should be a weird movie.

[53:45] But instead, it's not a weird movie.

Dan McCoy

[53:46] Yeah.

[53:47] So they fade from like her dancing to swans flying and then an airplane flying.

[53:53] And Emily Blunt's in New York.

[53:53] Which is how it evolved.

Elliott Kalan

[53:54] That's swans evolved into airplanes.

[53:56] Just like in 2001, he throws that bone up in the air and it turns into a space station.

[54:00] Yeah.

[54:00] Do you ever worry that those things are actually happening concurrently and the bone is going to fly up and hit the space station and knock it out of the sky?

Dan McCoy

[54:07] Well, no.

[54:08] I don't think that ape can throw it into orbit.

[54:10] Wait a minute.

Stuart Wellington

[54:11] Probably.

[54:12] That bone turns into a space station?

[54:15] Well, not literally.

Elliott Kalan

[54:16] Well, actually, yes.

[54:17] I assume there was a sequence where the bone got longer and longer and longer and bigger until it turned into a space station.

[54:22] But if the swans – I mean, because over time, swans, they lost their feathers and gained co-pilots.

[54:28] And that's how planes were born.

Dan McCoy

[54:30] Gained co-pilots.

[54:31] They evolved to black box.

Elliott Kalan

[54:33] Yeah, exactly.

[54:33] Well, why didn't they evolve to make the whole plane out of the black box?

[54:36] Anyway, guys, what happens next?

[54:38] Where is she going?

Dan McCoy

[54:40] She's in New York hanging with Jon Hamm.

[54:43] And it's revealed she's only there for one day.

[54:46] And she asked Hamm to take her to the ballet.

[54:48] And when she's at the ballet, which is, I presume, Swan Lake.

[54:51] I mean, that's enough to see all of New York, right?

Stuart Wellington

[54:54] One day.

Dan McCoy

[54:55] I mean, if you're –

[54:56] All she cares about is his ballet.

[54:57] She's a real six weeks right now.

Elliott Kalan

[54:59] If you're Dudley Moore and Mary Tyler Moore, that's all you need to see.

[55:02] Yeah.

[55:02] And now here this is – so this was the most shameless, or should I say shanless, part of the movie to me.

[55:08] Because in Moonstruck, there's the scene where Cher is watching the opera and it connects with her.

[55:13] And it leads to an epiphany.

[55:14] And here it's like, well, this woman's going to see the ballet and it's going to help lead to an epiphany.

[55:19] And I was like, come on, dude.

[55:20] Like, don't redo your old stuff.

[55:24] You know?

[55:24] Anyway.

Dan McCoy

[55:24] So she imagines herself as a child on stage dancing with a ballerina.

[55:30] And Ham has a look at her that, like, later on you learn is supposed to be, like, admiring.

[55:36] But I took it as like, what is it with this lady in this ballet?

[55:40] That's kind of what it looked like.

Elliott Kalan

[55:42] It was like he was like – he was about to ask her if she wanted to leave because it was boring.

[55:46] And then saw she was really caught up in it.

[55:47] It was like, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[55:49] How do I deal with this?

[55:51] How long can she believe that I'm using the bathroom for if I just leave and come back when this is over?

Dan McCoy

[55:58] So they're lingering over some after dinner drinks later.

[56:02] And Ham is sort of, like, you know, indicating that he's interested in her but not, like, super overplaying it or anything.

[56:10] And she's, like, talking about the ballet saying, I'm the white swan in the ballet.

[56:15] And Jon Hamm says, look, you can't let romantic ideals ruin your life.

[56:20] You have to be at least a little realistic.

[56:22] And I'm like, yeah, man.

[56:23] Yeah.

[56:23] This guy's –

Stuart Wellington

[56:25] He's sharing his fucking farmer's only profile with us.

Elliott Kalan

[56:28] Yeah.

[56:29] He's basically giving – he's giving her a similar speech.

[56:31] It's a similar speech to what the hero of Zootopia gets at the beginning where her parents are like, you just got to settle.

[56:36] Dreams only lead to failure.

Dan McCoy

[56:39] Well, Emily Blunt in this movie, like, has been, like, chasing this guy all of her life.

[56:48] And it's only brought her misery.

[56:50] Like, at this point, Jon Hamm's like, hey, be a little more realistic is a very sensible thing.

Elliott Kalan

[56:55] Oh, no, no.

[56:56] I think it's okay for him to say that guy's not into you.

[56:59] You got to deal with it.

[57:00] But to then say dreams are for losers and reality is you got to lose those dreams.

Dan McCoy

[57:07] No, no, no.

[57:07] I love the next thing that he says.

[57:09] She says that, you know, have you ever had, like, a dream – like, I have a dream since a kid that I just can't shake.

[57:16] And Jon Hamm says, the kinds of dreams kids have make adults miserable.

[57:20] And I thought, yes, you're right, Jon Hamm.

[57:22] It's a good line.

[57:22] Yeah, it's a good line.

Elliott Kalan

[57:23] It's a good line that my life is a direct rebuttal of.

[57:27] So, anyway, because I've achieved so many of the dreams I had when I was a kid.

Dan McCoy

[57:29] I mean, you can't fucking achieve them.

[57:31] But if you hang on to, like, the sort of, like – like, kids are not smart enough to, like, know what they want.

[57:39] I mean, that's true.

[57:40] She needs to have fixated on something for her entire life.

[57:43] Anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[57:44] Considering one of my sons wants to be a baby snake.

[57:46] Yeah, I think you're right.

[57:48] Now, would it have been better if after they saw it she said, I'm the white swan.

[57:51] Me, the white swan.

[57:53] And tried to fly and he had to – and she turned into, like, kind of a crazy supervillain type.

[57:57] That would be amazing.

[57:58] Like, he sends her to Arkham and then she comes out as the white swan and she's committing swan-related crimes.

[58:02] Of which there are not that many.

Stuart Wellington

[58:04] Guys, real quick.

[58:06] What exact kind of snake does your son want to be a baby of?

Elliott Kalan

[58:11] Now, at this point, we don't know for sure.

[58:13] Some kind of constrictor.

Stuart Wellington

[58:15] Oh, cool.

[58:15] Okay.

[58:16] Yeah, yeah.

[58:17] Yeah, I mean, they're pretty cool.

[58:18] I mean, you could keep them as a pet, theoretically.

[58:22] Unlike a venomous snake, which, you know, you shouldn't keep as a pet.

Elliott Kalan

[58:25] Snake or no, when he's 18, he is out of the house.

[58:27] Okay, that makes sense.

[58:28] I will have done my time.

[58:29] My wild mountain time.

[58:30] Continue, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[58:31] So, later on at night, Jon Hamm and she are walking on the waterfront and he kisses her and she says,

[58:39] Oh my God.

[58:41] All the way back to Ireland.

[58:43] You see her on the plane, still saying, Oh my God.

[58:46] And you see Dornan in his house and Hamm calls him.

[58:52] And based on Jamie's reaction, the message is basically,

[58:57] Sorry, you snossed and you lost.

[58:59] I am coming back to Ireland.

[59:01] I am looking for romance.

[59:03] And Jamie Dornan knows just what that means.

Elliott Kalan

[59:06] He says, I've got a little transatlantic booty call going on.

[59:10] So, hey, you think Rosemary's up?

[59:12] Because I'm about to get on a plane.

[59:14] So, I can tap that.

[59:16] And he goes, please don't talk about her that way.

[59:18] That is inappropriate.

[59:19] And he's like, I'm a straight-talking American.

[59:21] And I say what I'm going to do.

[59:23] I'm going to get on a plane.

[59:24] I'm going to go over there.

[59:25] I'm going to have sex with her.

[59:26] Probably ask her to marry me.

[59:27] Then I'm going to buy your farm.

[59:28] What are you going to do about it?

[59:29] And he's like, didn't my dad tell you earlier he wouldn't sell you the farm?

[59:32] And he's like, I don't know.

[59:33] I forgot, dude.

[59:33] This movie is so boring.

[59:34] I can't remember what happened to me.

[59:36] I just had to sit through the ballet.

[59:39] We were walking around.

[59:40] Maybe it was the Hudson Yards part of the city, which it doesn't feel like the real New York City for an old New York hand like me.

[59:47] And Jamie Dornan's like, this seems like we're not talking about the movie anymore.

[59:51] And Jon Hamm's like, I just think the city's changing.

[59:53] That's why I want to go to Ireland, an eternal place that's always 1947 to 1957.

Stuart Wellington

[59:59] Tyrannog, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:00] Yeah, exactly.

[1:00:02] Now, Tyrannog sounds like a Tolkien bad guy, but is not, right?

[1:00:05] No, it's not.

[1:00:06] No, it's a thing.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:08] So here's where the movie gets kind of, yeah, again, sort of more magical realism.

[1:00:17] They're both back at home at their places in Ireland.

[1:00:20] It's stormy.

[1:00:21] There's a bunch of crows flying around.

[1:00:23] And it seems like maybe she's calling Anthony telepathically.

[1:00:28] You hear her whispering his name on the soundtrack.

[1:00:31] And the wind is blowing.

[1:00:32] And she goes out on her horse across the moors and finds him out metal detecting in a storm, which seems like a really bad idea to have a long metal thing that you were...

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:43] Yeah, just follow the lightning, dude.

[1:00:45] And to be looking for more metal.

[1:00:47] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:48] So, and meanwhile...

[1:00:49] And the quickest way to get where you're going is to ride the lightning, honestly.

[1:00:52] Uh-huh.

[1:00:52] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:53] And meanwhile, during this whole next sequence, I'm not going to mention every time they cut back to him, but Jon Hamm is on a plane.

[1:01:00] He's reading Irish farmer.

[1:01:01] And a lady next to him points out, hey, you don't look like a farmer.

[1:01:04] You look like Jon Hamm.

[1:01:06] And anyway, so that's his deal.

[1:01:09] He wants to marry an Irish lady.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:11] Now, this is borrowing a primal card in that they're using his magazine choice to tell us a little bit about him.

[1:01:18] In this case, Irish farmer magazine, as opposed to Nicholas Cage and Primal, who's reading real estate magazine.

[1:01:24] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:25] So, they return to Rosemary's house, and he's doing something with the shutters of the windows I don't quite understand.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:33] She asks him to close the shutters because there's going to be a storm.

[1:01:35] Okay.

[1:01:36] No, but she asks him to...

[1:01:36] Oh, no, no.

[1:01:37] Actually, no.

[1:01:37] She asks him to open the shutters, and he's confused about why...

[1:01:40] Yes, that was the confusing part.

[1:01:41] Yeah.

[1:01:41] She is...

[1:01:42] I think what it is is that she is kooky.

[1:01:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:47] Okay.

[1:01:48] So, the skies open up above him.

[1:01:50] A lot of rain.

[1:01:50] He starts getting rained on.

[1:01:51] He bangs at the door to get let in, and Emily lets him in.

[1:01:55] She's kind of badgering him, like, lightly romantically, humming Swan Lake, and she's like,

[1:02:01] why are you always metal detecting?

[1:02:03] And they have some Guinness while he's stuck there, which is what she wants.

[1:02:08] She wants him, you know, stuck there by the storm so she can finally hash this out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:12] He's stuck there long enough that she serves him two Guinnesses, and it was like, oh, boy,

[1:02:16] this is too long a scene.

[1:02:18] If he can have two drinks during it with a fair amount of time in between drinks, like...

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:22] She makes him a sandwich at one point, too, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:24] Yeah.

[1:02:25] Yeah.

[1:02:25] And she makes him a sandwich.

[1:02:27] Yeah.

[1:02:27] And there's a fair amount of them talking kind of nonsense about men and women that doesn't

[1:02:33] really make sense.

[1:02:34] And that's when I started to realize, when they were talking about nonsense about men and

[1:02:38] women, this movie is to Moonstruck as Deadwood is to John from Cincinnati, where it's kind

[1:02:43] of like similar parts that have been assembled in a form that doesn't quite work.

[1:02:47] And it made me really want to go back and watch Deadwood again.

[1:02:50] So, guys, should we watch Deadwood now?

Dan McCoy

[1:02:52] Sure.

[1:02:52] Why not?

[1:02:53] So, there's like a weird, like kind of depressing part where Doran says it's a great day to

[1:02:58] commit suicide.

[1:02:59] And Emily's like, oh, by the way, I have a loaded shotgun in the closet because I think

[1:03:03] about killing myself frequently.

[1:03:06] And I...

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:07] That's a Chekhov shotgun, right?

[1:03:08] It shows up later in the movie?

Dan McCoy

[1:03:10] I don't think so.

[1:03:11] Anyway.

[1:03:12] I'm just fucking with you.

[1:03:12] I kind of like...

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:13] It's a Chekhov's not...

[1:03:16] It's a Chekhov's not gun, which is another thing that people talk about, where you don't

[1:03:21] actually see the gun and it never gets used, but you know it's there for a moment.

[1:03:25] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:26] And I kind of like this scene, too, because finally they're actually talking...

[1:03:32] Like, there's some emotions bubbling beneath.

[1:03:34] Like, they're still repressed.

[1:03:35] But the rest of the movie goes too far in the repression where I can't see what's going

[1:03:39] on underneath the surface.

[1:03:41] And here, at least, it's like, okay, I can tell that they're like wary of one another,

[1:03:45] but I can also see what I'm supposed to be thinking about it.

[1:03:49] And...

[1:03:50] But Dornan says, Ham's coming in town to seek a wife, and he says, maybe someone like

[1:03:54] you, I was thinking I might let him take a look at you, and you're like, what?

[1:03:58] Because it gets, like, really regressive in the gender stuff here for a little bit.

[1:04:03] She asks him whether he's gay, whether that's what's going on.

[1:04:06] She says that a man shouldn't smell like lilies.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:09] The movie is just spinning out possible things that could happen and then don't happen.

[1:04:14] The movie is trying to get back on track really fast.

[1:04:19] And it's really slow.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:21] Yeah, and she finally, like, is just straight up basically saying, like, why haven't you

[1:04:25] come for me?

[1:04:25] What's going on?

[1:04:26] I've quit smoking for you because I thought you didn't like smoke.

[1:04:28] I went to New York City and I kissed your cousin or whatever you assume.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:33] Because I thought you wanted me to kiss your cousin.

[1:04:35] Yep.

[1:04:36] And he reveals...

[1:04:37] Does that turn you on?

[1:04:37] Is that it?

[1:04:38] That you like cucking?

[1:04:39] Is that what it is?

[1:04:40] That you want me to be with your cousin while you watch?

[1:04:42] And he's like, oh, I didn't think I could tell you, but that's what does it for me.

[1:04:45] Please don't judge.

[1:04:46] I can't control.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:47] Let's keep all this in, Jordan, please.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:49] She's like, okay, I understand you and I love you so I'm willing to make it work.

[1:04:53] And it's really open-minded.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:55] No.

[1:04:56] I mean, the movie is very open-minded, but it turns out that his deal is the big twist

[1:05:02] And it turns out that his deal is very open-minded.

[1:05:12] You did not just have a stroke or fall asleep.

[1:05:17] Well, did you, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:05:18] No, I didn't.

[1:05:20] No, the movie is about a man who believes himself to be a honeybee.

[1:05:24] And that is what has been keeping our lovers apart for so long.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:29] And that's when you go back and you remember all the behavior that he was doing that would

[1:05:34] typify a honeybee, like using a metal detector, fishing, speaking English out loud to his human

[1:05:40] family members, drinking Guinness, wearing a raincoat, driving a car.

[1:05:48] So you're like, oh, it all makes sense.

[1:05:49] Finally, all the clues have fallen into place.

[1:05:51] Kaiser Soze was a bee the whole time.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:53] So I feel like if this movie had gone back and actually tried to show us some of the clues,

[1:05:59] we would have given it a raft of shit for it.

[1:06:01] Like any time a movie does like, oh, let's flash back to two minutes ago when this person did this one thing.

[1:06:07] So the movie doesn't even do that.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:09] So it feels even more random and strange.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:11] Yeah.

[1:06:12] Like I'd forgotten a bunch of the shit that you guys mentioned before, like the pollen and whatever else.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:16] I love this, though.

[1:06:18] Like, honestly, only something this dramatic and strange would have justified the rest of the movie to me.

[1:06:27] Like why they were like.

[1:06:28] And I think it is a very well acted scene on Emily Blunt's part because, you know, she before this revelation,

[1:06:34] she says, I've gamed out every scenario.

[1:06:36] There's nothing you can say to me right now.

[1:06:39] That it's going to like upset me or not make me want you.

[1:06:42] And then he says, I think I'm a bee.

[1:06:45] And you see her like she drives him home now.

[1:06:48] And she's driving and she's kind of like talking a mile a minute.

[1:06:51] And so you think you're a bee.

[1:06:52] You think you're a bee.

[1:06:53] And you see her processing this.

[1:06:54] But ultimately she comes to, hey, look, we all think we're something.

[1:06:59] You know, it is a message of acceptance.

[1:07:02] She like, you know, he's a different person.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:05] I mean, it's also easy to accept that he thinks he's a bee since, again, he never does anything bee like or in any way.

[1:07:11] He's just kind of like a clumsy guy.

[1:07:14] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:14] He lives in apartment 23 and you should not trust him.

[1:07:19] You're right.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:20] Typical bee.

[1:07:21] Whereas Dan, to me.

[1:07:22] Shut it down.

[1:07:22] Best joke of the podcast.

[1:07:24] That was good.

[1:07:24] Took me a while.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:25] To me, him revealing he was a bee was as if I had sat through the most boring dinner of my life.

[1:07:31] And then the waiter said, and your dessert.

[1:07:33] And just threw a monkey's paw on the table.

[1:07:37] And I'm like, what is this?

[1:07:39] Where is this coming from?

[1:07:40] It was, I found it to be an unpleasant surprise.

[1:07:43] No, I thought it was great.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:44] So she crashes the car into a tree, semi-purposefully it seems, and takes him down to the river.

[1:07:52] And it's raining again hard.

[1:07:55] And Emily says she thinks she's a swan, which is, you know, not meant as literally as his bee fixation, I think.

[1:08:01] But kind of.

[1:08:03] And it turns out, like, so he's been using the metal detector to try and find this ring, this gold ring that he lost.

[1:08:12] And, like, that would be, I guess, the sort of the symbol, the signal that they should be together.

[1:08:17] It turns out that she has the ring.

[1:08:20] She found it by her gate.

[1:08:22] And she says, do I have to swat at you to get you to sting me?

[1:08:25] Which was fun.

[1:08:27] And then they finally kiss.

[1:08:28] He picks her up, walks her out of the rain toward a patch of light.

[1:08:33] And she goes, I like this exchange.

[1:08:36] She goes, I'm mad too, you know.

[1:08:38] And he goes, how?

[1:08:39] And she says, you'll find out when it's too late.

[1:08:42] Which is, you know, a nice summation of long-term relationships.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:45] Then they cut forward to their wedding night, and he's in bed waiting for her, and she stabs him to death.

[1:08:50] And you're like, not where I thought the movie was going, but it was too late, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:54] And we briefly cut back to Jon Hamm, who seems to have partnered up with the lady he met on the plane, or at least there's potential.

[1:09:03] And Dornan is in the pub now, singing Wild Mountain Time.

[1:09:08] And he calls his wife up on stage to join him in the singing, which is, I think, the third time I cried during the movie.

[1:09:17] And his dead parents, Christopher Walken and the mom are in the audience.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:20] Sorry, I'm not laughing at the idea of Dan crying.

[1:09:22] I'm laughing at the expression on Stuart's face.

[1:09:24] I'm learning that Dan cried three times during the movie.

[1:09:27] I cried three times during this movie.

[1:09:28] I've cried through many movies.

[1:09:30] I cry at a lot of things that I find are beautiful.

[1:09:32] But it was just very funny to see Stuart's response.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:36] No, that's fine.

[1:09:37] Look, this movie is taking some very big swings at the end.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:42] I mean, the fact that, I mean, and they're singing, and his mom and dad's ghosts are in the audience watching.

[1:09:48] But I think this is...

Dan McCoy

[1:09:48] The last shot is them standing on a hill in the sun, the hill that he carried her up toward,

[1:09:54] and now they're in the sun, outside of, I guess, the depression that bedevils all Irish people and the end.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:03] Now, I think it shows that this is one of those things where I think a movie, as we all know,

[1:10:09] really benefits from what you bring to it.

[1:10:11] And Dan, I appreciate that it connected with some real feelings that you had.

[1:10:15] And it makes me feel bad then that it left me so cold throughout the entirety.

[1:10:19] And so by the time he said he was a B, I was like, too little, too late movie.

[1:10:22] Don't try to win me back now with some zaniness.

[1:10:26] Come on.

[1:10:26] Don't try to throw that in.

[1:10:28] And maybe it's also that I have a fairly low tolerance for Blarney, it turns out.

[1:10:32] Yeah.

[1:10:33] Uh-huh, yeah.

[1:10:34] Whereas, I mean, if it's something that feels like it has some sort of Irish authenticity to it, I like,

[1:10:39] like the show Dairy Girls.

[1:10:41] I think it's a really fantastic show.

[1:10:42] And that's a show where I'm like, oh, this feels like it comes from a place that's a real place.

[1:10:46] Whereas this, there's just so much, like, Irish spring commercial type stuff.

[1:10:50] And I was like, oh, boy.

[1:10:52] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:52] I mean, that stuff is the stuff that connected with me least.

[1:10:56] As soon as it got, as soon as the movie, like, showed me that I think it was supposed to be taken on a more metaphorical level than it seems at first,

[1:11:07] I got more into it.

[1:11:08] And that's why I think it probably worked better as a play because you can get away with some of that more, like, overt.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:16] I think it probably worked much better as a play.

[1:11:18] Also, you can get away with a long sequence where characters are talking in circles for no reason.

[1:11:24] And then it ends with the same VO from Christopher Walken where he says, if an Irishman dies while telling a story, you can be sure he'll be back.

[1:11:31] And be like, well, you weren't really telling the story.

[1:11:34] And also, you came back as, like, a ghost at the moment.

[1:11:37] It's one of those things that's like, is this supposed to be profound?

[1:11:40] Because it's not literal.

[1:11:41] And it makes no sense.

[1:11:43] And there's a lot of the Irish in it type stuff.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:46] So, okay, let's do final judgments.

[1:11:50] And I will say, look, here it is.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:52] Here it is, guys.

[1:11:53] It's your favorite movie of 2020.

[1:11:54] You're giving it all the Oscars.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:55] No, look, I can see why not to enjoy this movie.

[1:12:01] And it is a very frustrating movie in terms of, for much of it, people are not behaving in ways that seem to make any sort of sense, as I know humans to behave.

[1:12:14] But as soon as it made some of its bigger emotional leaps, I started getting on its wavelength.

[1:12:21] And I found myself very touched by the ending.

[1:12:24] I would have a hard time recommending it to anyone because I think that your guys' take on it is probably the more reasonable one.

[1:12:32] But I think that there's a small subset of the world that would find this enjoyable.

[1:12:40] I'm not giving – look, two and a half, three out of five is – even though I was taken with some of it.

[1:12:49] But still, I think I kind of liked it.

[1:12:52] Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:53] Dan McCoy, it's me.

[1:12:54] It's me, the ghost of your great-great-grandfather, Seamus McCoy.

[1:12:58] Look, I came from beyond the veil, over the rainbow, to tell you you shouldn't be so ashamed of the things that you like.

[1:13:06] If you like it, then you should just go ahead and say it, even if it's a piece of shite like this movie is.

[1:13:11] So just go ahead and say that you like it.

[1:13:13] You know, we Irish, we got a saying, but we're a funny type of people, we Irish.

[1:13:17] You know, we're just as quick to yell as we are to cry, just as quick to be poets as we are to punch some guy, for no reason just because we feel like punching a guy.

[1:13:26] But you know, we Irish has a saying.

[1:13:27] And that saying is, when the blarney's in the heather, you got to ride the mist or the green fields.

[1:13:34] And I think you'd be knowing what I'm saying because you're also of the same sort.

[1:13:37] You got the blood of the emerald iron in you.

[1:13:39] You're a real child of Hibernia.

[1:13:45] So, you know, I just want to tell you, Dan, don't be ashamed.

[1:13:48] Don't be ashamed of connecting on a deep ancestral level to what you'd be seeing in this movie.

[1:13:55] Elliot has to assume now that this is how you guys felt the time he showed you Hitler on the roof.

[1:14:00] And you were not really that interested in it.

[1:14:03] And he said, I don't understand.

[1:14:04] And it's because when you see a movie that strikes you at that primal level, like you with this, or Stuart with primal, you just feel that sort of emotional connection.

[1:14:13] And so I got to say, Dan, before the coppers come to get me, because old St. Peter, he told me not to leave anymore.

[1:14:20] And I keep leaving heaven so I can see women dressing in changing rooms.

[1:14:24] And he tells me I'm not allowed to do that.

[1:14:27] Don't do that.

[1:14:27] I guess there's no real place for a misogynist ghost in this new modern world anymore.

[1:14:32] But Dan, you just shouldn't be ashamed.

[1:14:35] Oh, they're coming to get me now.

[1:14:37] They're coming to take me away.

[1:14:38] Ha ha.

[1:14:38] And so I'll just, I'll see you later.

[1:14:40] And I'll haunt you in your dreams until you avenge me, murderers.

[1:14:43] Goodbye, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:45] Okay, well, I'd like to apologize to our Irish listeners for that hate crime that was just perpetrated.

[1:14:50] I don't know if I'd call it a hate crime.

[1:14:51] I did like Fiddler on the Roof quite a bit.

[1:14:56] Good save.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:57] I mean, I will say Fiddler on the Roof is objectively better than Wild Mountain Time.

[1:15:00] No, of course it is.

[1:15:01] Of course it is.

[1:15:03] So guys, what are your judgments?

[1:15:05] I will say, I would give this movie a bad, bad.

[1:15:08] Okay.

[1:15:09] Just because I felt, it was a, it felt like I was constantly trying to hold on to what

[1:15:14] was going on in this movie and couldn't quite grasp it because it was so like wispy and circular

[1:15:19] and not, not, it was, it was so vague to me.

[1:15:22] The whole movie was so vague and I can deal with a, with a slow movie or even a dull movie.

[1:15:26] But this one, it was just like, every time my brain tried to hold on to it, it would slip

[1:15:30] off the edges, you know?

[1:15:31] So I would give it a bad, bad, but Hey, it's worth seeing just the part where he admits

[1:15:36] that he's a B.

[1:15:37] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:39] Yeah.

[1:15:40] I mean, I, I'm going to go ahead and say, I think this is a bad, bad movie.

[1:15:43] I think it's a little bit too long.

[1:15:46] Uh, there's, I mean, I think there's a couple of nice lines that I think kind of work in a

[1:15:52] play, but maybe not so well in a movie when it's like mushed together with all this stuff

[1:15:57] that doesn't work.

[1:15:58] Um, it, it's like, I don't know.

[1:16:01] I, I just recently got done watching, uh, that, that show normal people, which is about,

[1:16:06] uh, you know, it's kind of a love story, uh, between two Irish people.

[1:16:11] And the whole time I'm watching that show, I'm like, I cannot understand this dude's motivation.

[1:16:17] Uh, and I feel like that carried over into this movie.

[1:16:20] Uh, I just don't understand these dude's motivation.

[1:16:23] Yeah.

[1:16:23] I guess I just don't understand this motivation.

[1:16:25] No, I, for me.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:28] I agree with all your criticisms, but I still enjoyed it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:30] Oh yeah, that's fine.

[1:16:31] I mean, a lot of it for me was just, was, was tone stuff too.

[1:16:34] Like it never, it never achieved the tone it needed to, to get away with some.

[1:16:37] And there's, but there are beautiful lines that there's a part where when she's, when

[1:16:40] she's trying to figure out what's wrong, she says, do you ever think, do you ever wonder

[1:16:44] what I'm wearing when I'm not wearing as much?

[1:16:45] And I thought that was a beautiful way of like, of, of, uh, trying to get around, trying

[1:16:50] to be, uh, like sexual with him without, without running afoul of the limits in their

[1:16:56] minds, you know?

[1:16:57] But, uh, there's.

[1:16:58] There, there, it's like every time there's a really great line in it, it's like a, like

[1:17:01] you're jumping from stone to stone across a river and then something, and then you'll

[1:17:05] slip on a really mossy stone and fall in the river and you're like, damn it, that stone

[1:17:09] didn't work.

[1:17:11] Okay.

[1:17:11] That was a particularly Irish metaphor.

[1:17:13] I feel like.

[1:17:14] Yeah, that was great.

[1:17:15] I like that one.

[1:17:15] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:16] Oh, I just got an email.

[1:17:18] Your, your travel ban has been lifted.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:21] Oh, thank you.

[1:17:21] I can finally go to, to Ireland and, and see all the, all the pubs that my, me ancestors

[1:17:27] went to, uh, before they left, uh, Russia.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:30] Oh no, Elliot.

[1:17:31] I just got another email.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:33] Oh no.

[1:17:34] Did I get banned again?

[1:17:35] Yeah.

[1:17:43] I started listening to Oh No, Ross and Carrie shortly after I broke my arm.

[1:17:47] I couldn't get my book started.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:48] I was lost.

[1:17:49] Honestly.

[1:17:50] I knew it was time to make a change.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:53] There's something about Oh No, Ross and Carrie that you just can't get anywhere else.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:57] They're thought leaders, discoverers, founders.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:01] I'd call them heroes.

[1:18:02] Ross and Carrie don't just report on French science, spirituality, and claims of the paranormal.

[1:18:07] They take part themselves.

[1:18:08] They show up so you don't have to.

S4

[1:18:10] But you might find that you want to.

[1:18:14] My arm is better.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:15] I wrote an entire book this weekend.

[1:18:18] It's terrible, but I did it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:20] Just go to MaximumFun.org.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:23] Thank you, Ross and Carrie.

[1:18:25] Oh No, Ross and Carrie is just a podcast.

[1:18:26] It doesn't do anything.

[1:18:27] It's just sounds you listen to in your ears.

[1:18:29] All these people are made up.

[1:18:29] Goodbye.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:30] Hi, I'm James, host of Minority Corner, which is a podcast that's all about intersectionality.

[1:18:35] It's hosted by James with a guest host every week.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:37] Discussing all sorts of wonderful issues, nerdy and political.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:41] Pop culture.

[1:18:42] Black queer.

[1:18:44] Feminism.

[1:18:44] Race.

[1:18:45] Sexuality.

[1:18:46] News.

[1:18:47] You're going to learn your history.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:48] There's self-empowerment.

[1:18:49] And it's told by what feels like your best friend.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:52] Why should someone listen to Minority Corner?

[1:18:54] Why not?

[1:18:54] Oh my god.

[1:18:55] Free stuff.

[1:18:56] There's not free stuff.

S4

[1:18:56] The listeners of Minority Corner will enjoy some necessary LOLs, but mainly a look at what's

[1:19:01] happening in our world through a colorful lens.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:04] People will get the perspective of marginalized communities.

[1:19:07] I feel heard.

[1:19:08] I feel seen.

[1:19:09] Like you said, you need to understand how to be more proactive in your community, and this

[1:19:12] is a great way to get started.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:13] Join us every Friday on MaxFun or wherever you get your podcasts.

[1:19:17] Minority Corner.

[1:19:18] Because together, we're the majority.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:21] Hello.

[1:19:22] It's me, Dan McCoy.

[1:19:24] Let's do some ads.

[1:19:25] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:26] Dan, did you just, did Scott Bakula just jump into your body?

[1:19:29] What happened there?

Dan McCoy

[1:19:30] I appear to be in some sort of podcast.

[1:19:32] Yes, I should do an advertisement.

[1:19:35] Ziggy, get me out of here.

[1:19:36] I'm podcasting.

[1:19:39] Hey, now more than ever, storytellers and content creators are challenged with producing

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[1:19:56] Storyblocks is dedicated to being the world's best royalty-free stock media subscription

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[1:20:16] They have affordable subscription plans and tools with Storyblocks' unlimited all-access

[1:20:21] plan.

[1:20:21] You can get unlimited downloads of everything in their library.

[1:20:25] And even if your subscription ends, everything you've downloaded is yours to keep.

[1:20:30] We got some logins so we could test this out.

[1:20:34] I actually used Storyblocks for a little something for the live show we promoted earlier.

[1:20:41] And very easy to use, very high-quality footage.

[1:20:46] A lot of fun.

[1:20:47] And a wide variety of footages, right?

[1:20:49] Yeah, a lot of stuff.

[1:20:50] A lot of stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:51] It's not just the Tacoma Narrows Bridge during that earthquake.

[1:20:54] There's more footage than just that.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:57] It's not just the Hindenburg crashing.

[1:21:00] Explore their library and subscribe today at storyblocks.com slash flop.

[1:21:05] That's storyblocks.com slash flop.

[1:21:08] And the Flophouse is also sponsored in part by HelloFresh.

[1:21:18] This is a box food service.

[1:21:23] Explain what that is, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:26] It's food for boxes?

Dan McCoy

[1:21:28] No, what happens is, so you get a box in the mail, right?

[1:21:32] You think, what's in this box?

[1:21:33] Well, it actually says HelloFresh on the outside.

[1:21:35] So you know what it is.

[1:21:36] Presumably you signed up for it.

[1:21:37] But what's in it is, you get fresh, pre-measured ingredients and mouth-watering seasonal recipes

[1:21:43] delivered right to your door with HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit.

[1:21:49] HelloFresh cuts out stressful meal planning and grocery store trips, especially now, so you

[1:21:54] can enjoy cooking and get dinner on the table in about 30 minutes or less.

[1:22:01] And eating healthier has never been easier with low-cal, carb-smart, vegetarian, and pescatarian

[1:22:07] options every week.

[1:22:09] And no matter what you choose, every single recipe is packed with fresh produce sourced

[1:22:14] directly from farmers.

[1:22:15] I'm going to have a HelloFresh tonight.

[1:22:18] We also got samples of this.

[1:22:20] I had one last night.

[1:22:21] That's why you're drooling all over the place right now, right?

[1:22:23] Because you're so excited?

[1:22:24] I'll tell you, I'm not...

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:25] Yeah, don't short out your microphone with all that drool.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:28] I've, I've, as, as, as Jesse Thorne is, is, want to say on, over on Jordan, Jesse Go,

[1:22:36] had other services like this.

[1:22:39] They've all been pretty good.

[1:22:41] But I, I really like HelloFresh.

[1:22:44] I find the quality, some of the strongest I've had and delicious food, even the low-calorie

[1:22:52] option, which is what I chose for as little as it does for me.

[1:22:57] So go to HelloFresh.com.

[1:23:00] Dan, your body looks incredible.

[1:23:02] Ten.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:02] Yeah, yeah.

[1:23:03] That's Dan fishing for compliments.

[1:23:04] We also, we've had two of the three HelloFresh meals that were sent to us.

[1:23:08] My whole family enjoyed it.

[1:23:09] We had the crispy buffalo chicken with broccoli and mashed potatoes.

[1:23:14] Let me tell you, they sent us a lot of broccoli, which is good because we go through a lot of

[1:23:17] broccoli in our house.

[1:23:18] And the kids loved it.

[1:23:19] My, my younger son kept saying, give me the crispy parts.

[1:23:22] I want the crispy parts.

[1:23:24] And then we had, just the other night, my kids had the pork flautas, which were sent to

[1:23:29] us.

[1:23:30] And they liked those a lot too.

[1:23:31] Again, crispy, crisp them up.

[1:23:33] They like crispy stuff.

[1:23:34] So I'm looking forward to it.

[1:23:34] Well, they, they, they know what's good.

[1:23:36] And I'm looking forward to having the third meal.

[1:23:38] But so far we've been very impressed.

[1:23:39] Uh, my wife who is a, loves to cook and does not usually like the semi pre-prepared things.

[1:23:45] She said it was super convenient, like to not have to figure out what we were going to

[1:23:49] eat.

[1:23:49] Super convenient to know that she had all the ingredients right there and she wouldn't have

[1:23:52] to worry about running short of something.

[1:23:54] So yeah, even she liked it.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:56] So no, I agree.

[1:23:57] I'm a, you know, uh, uh, uh, uh, people who are longtime listeners know I do a lot of

[1:24:02] cooking, sometimes a little snobby about this kind of thing.

[1:24:05] Thought this was great.

[1:24:06] Thought it was great.

[1:24:07] So go to hellofresh.com slash flop 10.

[1:24:11] That's the numerals, not the word and use code flop 10 for 10 free meals, including free

[1:24:18] shipping.

[1:24:18] That's hellofresh.com slash flop 10 and use code flop 10 for 10 free meals.

[1:24:27] Now you guys both have a jumbotron.

[1:24:30] I am going to break this, uh, pool cue and you can fight over who gets to do their jumbotron

[1:24:36] first.

[1:24:37] I don't need a broken pool cue.

[1:24:39] Stuart, you just go.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:40] I don't, I don't, I do not want a broken pool cue.

[1:24:42] I do not need that.

[1:24:43] That is just unnecessary clutter that will get lost in my house and I'll find it or I'll

[1:24:47] step on it and it'll hurt me.

[1:24:48] So Stuart, you just go take both halves of the broken pool cue.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:51] And then take both halves of this pool cue.

[1:24:52] Wow.

[1:24:53] That's a weapon in each hand.

[1:24:54] I'm like Miyamoto Musashi.

[1:24:57] So the legendary swordsman.

[1:24:59] Yep.

[1:25:00] Two-hander technique.

[1:25:01] Okay.

[1:25:02] So I have a j-j-jumbotron.

[1:25:06] Happy 10 year anniversary.

[1:25:08] Oh, this is a message for, uh, Brian and it is from Amy.

[1:25:14] Happy 10 year anniversary.

[1:25:16] I thought the flop boys could help express my love.

[1:25:20] We may not have everything figured out this year, but I will always be on your team.

[1:25:25] I can't imagine a better quarantine buddy.

[1:25:28] May the next 10 years still be filled with dungeons, dragons, hugs, space marines, podcasts,

[1:25:36] and park tacos.

[1:25:38] Oh, that is great.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:41] Very sweet.

[1:25:42] But hey guys, I hope your sweet meter's not over because here's another sweet jumbotron.

[1:25:46] This is for Max.

[1:25:47] Last name withheld.

[1:25:48] It's from Elaine.

[1:25:49] And it says, happy birthday, Max.

[1:25:50] You were making movies when you were nine.

[1:25:52] After watching a bad movie when you were 12, you left the theater complaining about quick

[1:25:56] cut editing and movies that weren't plot driven.

[1:25:58] Then told me what you would have changed in the third act.

[1:26:01] Still love listening to your criticism.

[1:26:02] Thanks for making me a flopper.

[1:26:04] Love mom.

[1:26:05] Adorbs.

[1:26:05] I said adorbs.

[1:26:07] I added that.

[1:26:07] I apologize.

[1:26:08] You don't have to pay for that word, mom.

[1:26:10] And I just want to remind everybody, in case that wasn't a touching enough heartfelt message,

[1:26:15] The Flophouse will be going live Saturday, February 6th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[1:26:20] Teen Wolf is what we're talking about.

[1:26:22] That's right.

[1:26:22] We're finally going after the wolf.

[1:26:24] Let's see if we're hungry like the wolf or the wolf is hungry for us.

[1:26:28] Teen Wolf with presentations, audience Q&A, and more.

[1:26:30] Only $10 at www.theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:35] So we're reviewing the movie Wolf, but when we were teenagers.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:41] Yeah, we're pretending that we're teens watching the movie Wolf, which was the case.

[1:26:45] Yeah, it was the case.

[1:26:46] I watched it and I'm like, okay, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:49] I mean, this is kind of a weirdly, ironically toothless satire of the business world.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:57] Is that the way you described it to your parents after you walked out?

[1:26:59] You said, hmm, for a wolf, that was pretty toothless.

[1:27:02] Yeah.

[1:27:03] And they said, someday on our deathbeds we'll tell you how proud we are of that joke.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:08] Yeah.

[1:27:10] Moving on to letters.

[1:27:12] Letters from listeners like you.

[1:27:16] This one's from Youngster Lukey.

[1:27:19] Awesome.

[1:27:22] Lukey writes,

[1:27:22] A late happy holidays to you three, unless you really get into such occasions as National

[1:27:27] Bean Day on January 6th or January 12th's Kiss a Ginger Day, in which case I am right on

[1:27:33] time.

[1:27:34] Like many Americans, my favorite thing to watch during the festive season is a Charlie Brown

[1:27:39] Christmas.

[1:27:40] During my perennial viewing last December, I was reminded of a time when browsing Shopko,

[1:27:46] word to my fellow Wisconsinites, that I came across a replica of the sad twig tree that

[1:27:51] Chuck brings over for Christmas, for the Christmas play.

[1:27:55] It was being sold for around $20 if I recall correctly, and at the time I thought it was

[1:27:59] really neat.

[1:28:00] But the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me.

[1:28:03] I'm not upset at the prospect of Peanuts merch, by any means, but I was hit with the gross

[1:28:07] irony that some big business took a symbol of modesty from a program that goes out of

[1:28:11] its way to criticize the commercialization of Christmas, mass produced it, slapped a price

[1:28:16] tag on it, threw it in stores, and probably made a killing off of it.

[1:28:19] Of course, I realize it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, and I'm certain

[1:28:22] there are plenty of people thrilled to have it, but it's not something that I've been

[1:28:26] able to push out of my mind.

[1:28:27] So I wanted to ask, have you seen any movie or TV merch that has baffled you with its existence?

[1:28:34] Whether it goes against the message of the creator, has little connection to the work,

[1:28:38] or is just plain bizarre.

[1:28:40] What's something that made an exec think they could make a buck and proceed to swan dive

[1:28:44] backwards into hell?

[1:28:45] Keep on freeing in the flop world, youngster Lukey.

[1:28:49] I think I've talked about before, I mean, this is probably like largely a joke product,

[1:28:54] but I've talked about before how I gave Elliot the meat that Rocky punches in Rocky.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:04] There's an action figure of a side of beef.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:07] Yeah.

[1:29:07] Yeah, I didn't give you some, I didn't like buy the meat that Rocky punched.

[1:29:10] It would probably be long, rotted.

[1:29:11] You bought me some 45-year-old rotted meat, and I was like, great, thanks, Dan.

[1:29:16] Appreciate it.

[1:29:17] No, it's a plastic side of beef.

[1:29:19] This is not also to that point, but I just wanted to give a shout out, Elliot, to when

[1:29:24] you, I guess it was Eric, like took an R2-D2 cooler from a 7-Eleven, like that they're

[1:29:31] going to get rid of.

[1:29:33] And that was a, used many times in your live talk shows.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:37] I was just thinking about the other day, I used to do a live talk show in a basement

[1:29:41] in the comedy theater, Juvie Hall, run by our old friend, Eric Morsezek.

[1:29:44] And he, yeah, he was at like a convenience store in Queens and called me and was like,

[1:29:51] they have a, they have a R2-D2 Pepsi cooler.

[1:29:54] It's like the size of the real R2-D2.

[1:29:56] They said they'll give it to me for, I think it was $30.

[1:29:58] And I was like, buy it.

[1:29:59] And so, and he, and, and that became my sidekick on the show.

[1:30:03] And then when the show ended, we made a movie called The Death of R2-D2, where R2-D2

[1:30:09] dies, he dies of cancer very sadly.

[1:30:12] And then it ends with Eric taking that and just dumping it in the garbage.

[1:30:15] And then we made another movie where, where me and my old friend, Brock Mahan, just took,

[1:30:21] I think, baseball bats and destroyed that thing.

[1:30:24] And then, and took out all the lining from it.

[1:30:26] There's all this weird foam in it and threw it in the air like it was snow.

[1:30:29] But yeah, that was a...

[1:30:30] That's unrelated.

[1:30:31] That's a good piece of merchandise.

[1:30:33] It makes total sense why you would see a droid in a movie and be like, I want to drink

[1:30:37] sodas out of that.

[1:30:39] I, the thing that first comes to mind for me is something I think we might've talked

[1:30:42] about in the past, which is how there was this strange moment in the late 80s, early 90s,

[1:30:47] when characters from very adult movies were suddenly being merchandised for kids.

[1:30:53] And the main one that sticks with me is like how much Freddy Krueger merchandise there was.

[1:30:57] And there was like, I knew a kid with a nightmare on Elm Street lunchbox.

[1:31:00] And like you get a Freddy Krueger talking doll.

[1:31:03] And this is literally merchandise based on a movie about an evil child molester who kills

[1:31:07] kids in their dreams.

[1:31:08] And his face is horribly burned.

[1:31:11] And the idea that it was just like, yeah, slap him on a lunchbox.

[1:31:14] Take that to school, kids.

[1:31:16] It's a very, it's a strange thing.

[1:31:17] But maybe the most inexplicable piece of merchandise I've seen was that picture that went around

[1:31:21] when The Force Awakens came out of a bag of oranges that just had a picture of BB-8 on

[1:31:25] it.

[1:31:27] It's like, so are these supposed to be like better oranges because BB-8 gives his approval?

Dan McCoy

[1:31:32] I was like, you know, like BB-8's a sphere.

[1:31:35] These oranges are a sphere.

[1:31:36] You know, it's a natural fit.

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:38] Yeah.

[1:31:38] I mean, this doesn't completely answer the question, but I do love, I did love the extreme advertising

[1:31:45] campaign for the movie Mordecai.

[1:31:47] How like somebody, somebody really banked hard on it and it did not work out.

[1:31:52] But as far as, as kind of recent merch, there was, there was that bit when the Avengers Age

[1:32:01] of Ultron came out, one of the toy sets that came out featured the Quinjet.

[1:32:06] And in the movie, the one scene that involves the Quinjet and a motorcycle hopping out has

[1:32:11] Black Widow on it.

[1:32:12] But Black Widow is nowhere to be seen in the toy set.

[1:32:15] It's like Captain America or something riding it.

[1:32:17] And it's like, you didn't think the internet was going to flip out over this?

Dan McCoy

[1:32:22] Yeah.

[1:32:23] You thought you were going to get this one by?

[1:32:25] Yeah.

[1:32:27] Okay.

[1:32:27] Well, second and last letter is a bit of a follow-up from a previous recent letter from

[1:32:34] Trevor, still not Noah, last name withheld, who writes, hey again.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:39] Trevor, keep working at it.

[1:32:40] Someday you'll be Trevor Noah.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:42] Yeah.

[1:32:43] Hey again, Peaches.

[1:32:43] I never thought it would happen to me.

[1:32:45] You read my letter.

[1:32:46] My wife and I were delighted to hear someone else misquote everyone's favorite bad boy

[1:32:50] feline.

[1:32:51] She's certain to continue exclaiming, bow, ma-mow, after this.

[1:32:56] As to what we were watching, if you'll recall, we were laying bets.

[1:33:01] I'm fairly certain it was Raising Dion on Netflix.

[1:33:05] As far as I can remember, it features no cats, which helps to explain some of my confusion.

[1:33:10] I don't really know what made her think of your podcast at that moment.

[1:33:15] Thanks again.

[1:33:16] Trevor, still not Noah.

[1:33:18] Last name withheld.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:18] Yeah, yeah.

[1:33:19] Thanks, Trevor.

[1:33:19] Bow, ma-mow.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:21] So, yeah, that's a mystery solved.

[1:33:24] Put that in the closed case files.

[1:33:26] Wipe it off the wire-style big board we got up there.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:29] Yeah, it's going to turn from red marker into black marker now that we've closed that one.

[1:33:36] Yeah, finally.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:38] Oh, boy.

[1:33:39] Guys, we got one more segment on the show.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:41] What's that?

[1:33:42] Dan, try to pretend you're not as tired as the audience is.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:46] It's been a long week, I think, for everyone in America.

[1:33:51] We're recording this, you know, not too long after armed insurrectionists tried to fuck up democracy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:59] Well, it's not like you work for, like, a political comedy show or anything.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:03] No, thank God we were off the air.

[1:34:04] I have no idea what to say about that.

[1:34:07] Yeah.

[1:34:09] Anyway, so...

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:10] You just loop in, like, silly sound effects for all the footage, right?

[1:34:14] I mean, that...

[1:34:14] That's usually what the Daily Show does, right?

[1:34:16] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:16] There was a period in Daily Show history when it just would have been speeding up the footage and putting yakety-sacks on it.

[1:34:21] Like, like...

Dan McCoy

[1:34:23] Oh, God.

[1:34:24] Okay, so let's do recommendations.

[1:34:26] Movies that maybe you should watch instead.

[1:34:29] I would normally maybe not go to bat for a huge movie over discussing a small one, depending on what I've watched.

[1:34:38] But I do want to say I don't get all the hate for Wonder Woman 84.

[1:34:43] I had a really fun time.

[1:34:45] I enjoyed it.

[1:34:46] I thought it was zippy and funny.

[1:34:48] Like, I think people were not prepared for how silly it is.

[1:34:53] But silly does not mean bad.

[1:34:56] I like silly sometimes.

[1:34:58] Yeah, we did wild mountain time.

[1:35:00] Well, like, I feel like with, like, Marvel, say, the unwritten rule is you can get sillier with the smaller properties, right?

[1:35:08] And that's where people will accept the silliness with your Ant-Mans and your Guardians of the Galaxy.

[1:35:14] So move on over to DC.

[1:35:15] DC already has all these, like, more, like, serious-minded, so-they-think, fans.

[1:35:22] And Wonder Woman is one of the big DC heroes.

[1:35:27] So, like...

[1:35:28] But this was, like, a throwback to, you know, like, Richard Donner, Richard Lester-style Superman stuff.

[1:35:34] The two Richards.

[1:35:36] And I really had a good time.

[1:35:39] And I thought Pedro Pascal in particular was fun.

[1:35:42] And I liked how the movie hinged on...

[1:35:46] Like, people were like, oh, it's got a magic stone.

[1:35:48] Shut up.

[1:35:49] It's a comic book movie.

[1:35:50] It has a magic stone.

[1:35:51] Whatever.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:52] Dan, you're really amping up on this.

[1:35:55] Dan's opinions do not speak for the entire flack.

[1:35:57] I've not seen the movie.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:58] I liked the way that, like, it has this wishing stone.

[1:36:01] And the movie's apocalyptic plot is that this guy sort of weaponizes everyone's selfishness.

[1:36:07] He uses their desire to have their wish come true to create great power for himself.

[1:36:14] Destabilize the world.

[1:36:15] Not too subtle a metaphor for what's going on in the world.

[1:36:19] But I don't care.

[1:36:21] Enjoyed it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:22] Dan's saying, fans of DC movies, just like Wonder Woman urging the people to not wish for more than what they have, but to accept their lot in life, you're saying, this is the Wonder Woman movie you've been given.

[1:36:36] Just accept it.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:37] No.

[1:36:38] No.

[1:36:39] I like funny movies.

[1:36:42] I like silly movies.

[1:36:43] And I like movies that have, like, a little...

[1:36:45] You know, talk...

[1:36:46] Yeah, that's a movie that talks to the time.

[1:36:49] Is it?

[1:36:50] It's set in 1984.

[1:36:51] No, but it's all...

[1:36:52] I mean, the whole thing is about, like, capitalism and the inherent selfishness of it.

[1:36:58] And it has this figure, you know, that is not too hard to read Trump into.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:04] And there's a really good scene, Elliot, where Wonder Woman catches two kids and falls on the ground and she breaks her fall with the kids.

[1:37:14] And they're, like, super obviously dummies.

[1:37:16] You can find the clip on the internet.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:18] But even...

[1:37:18] But Wonder Woman, she's so strong.

[1:37:20] Is she made out of clay in these movies, like in the comics, or no?

[1:37:23] Is she a living statue?

[1:37:24] Or she's a...

[1:37:25] I think she's a person.

[1:37:28] Okay.

[1:37:28] Because in the comics, she's...

[1:37:29] I guess she was turned into a person magically in the comics, too.

[1:37:32] But, like, she could have killed those kids by crushing them with her body.

[1:37:35] With her clay body?

[1:37:36] Yeah.

[1:37:37] I mean, I haven't seen the movie, and I...

[1:37:39] It's not highest on my list, if only because, at heart, I'm a Marvel boy.

[1:37:45] Hey, I'm a Marvel zombie.

[1:37:46] House of Ideas, 100%.

[1:37:47] Stan Lee, rest in peace.

[1:37:48] This is for you, pal.

[1:37:49] Excelsior, yeah.

[1:37:50] Yeah, Excelsior.

[1:37:51] Yeah.

[1:37:51] Face front.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:54] Yeah, so I'm gonna go next.

[1:37:57] Before I go...

[1:37:58] Dan, did you ever recommend Cam?

Dan McCoy

[1:38:01] I think I might have, but, you know...

[1:38:03] Well, I'll jump over...

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:05] Yeah, I mean, I'll definitely recommend Cam.

[1:38:07] I'll recommend two movies.

[1:38:08] I'll recommend Cam.

[1:38:10] It is a horror movie about a young woman who is a professional cam girl.

[1:38:16] And she discovers one day...

[1:38:19] She is very ambitious.

[1:38:21] And she discovers one day that she is locked out of her account.

[1:38:25] That somebody who looks just like her is camming in her place.

[1:38:30] And her kind of life falls apart.

[1:38:32] And it is a horror movie without a lot of obvious scares.

[1:38:36] But the whole thing is put together very well.

[1:38:39] It's very tense.

[1:38:41] And I thought it was really great.

[1:38:43] And it came out a few years ago.

[1:38:44] But I feel like it feels more relevant now.

[1:38:47] Both with, like, the rise of online sex work.

[1:38:51] Entering the, like, public conversation.

[1:38:54] And also just the way that we all feel kind of isolated.

[1:38:58] Using our screens to communicate.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:01] I looked it up.

[1:39:02] I did not recommend Cam.

[1:39:04] I saw it and enjoyed it, but did not recommend it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:07] Cool.

[1:39:07] I think it's great.

[1:39:08] Check it out.

[1:39:09] I think it's on Netflix.

[1:39:10] I guess that'll be my only recommendation.

[1:39:12] I'll save my others.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:13] Okay.

[1:39:14] I'm going to recommend...

[1:39:15] Uh-oh.

[1:39:15] Stuart and I are in for a competition.

[1:39:17] Because I'm recommending a movie that's on Amazon.

[1:39:19] Uh-oh.

[1:39:20] Whoa.

[1:39:21] Oh, no.

[1:39:21] Marvel versus DC all over again.

[1:39:23] Mm-hmm.

[1:39:24] But this time, it's for real.

[1:39:27] Wait.

[1:39:27] Were those Marvel...

[1:39:28] Wait.

[1:39:28] Marvel and DC, it wasn't really for real, right?

[1:39:30] They're all friends in real life?

[1:39:32] Wait.

[1:39:32] I don't know.

[1:39:33] I mean, like...

Dan McCoy

[1:39:33] Why would I know better than you?

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:35] I don't know.

[1:39:36] I thought maybe you were...

[1:39:37] You had your finger on the pulse.

[1:39:38] You said it earlier.

[1:39:40] Oh, no, maybe Stuart said it.

[1:39:41] So, I'm going to recommend a movie that's on Amazon right now.

[1:39:44] It's called Blow the Man Down.

[1:39:46] It came out in 2019.

[1:39:47] It's written and directed by Bridget Savage Cole and Danielle Crudy.

[1:39:51] I think it's pronounced.

[1:39:52] And Margot Martindale's in it.

[1:39:54] And June Squibb's in it.

[1:39:55] And a bunch of other people.

[1:39:56] And it's about...

[1:39:56] What?

[1:39:57] There's this small town in...

[1:39:59] What is it?

[1:39:59] Maine.

[1:40:00] And these two girls who...

[1:40:03] Their mother ran a fish store there.

[1:40:06] She has just died and left them with seemingly nothing.

[1:40:09] They can't afford the house.

[1:40:10] And the business is not doing well.

[1:40:12] And one of them gets into some trouble.

[1:40:14] And now the two of them have to hide a body.

[1:40:17] And that kind of leads them into learning more and more about what really kind of goes on in this town and makes it function.

[1:40:26] And the kind of compromises that the women in the town have had to make with their own morals in certain senses to kind of get by and keep the town going.

[1:40:36] And which the men in the town are more or less oblivious to.

[1:40:40] And I thought it was really good.

[1:40:42] It moves along at a real quick clip and is both super tense.

[1:40:45] And I found it very affecting at the end.

[1:40:47] But also has some funny moments.

[1:40:48] And so Blow the Man Down.

[1:40:49] I recommend it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:50] And there's a Greek chorus of fishermen in it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:53] Yes.

[1:40:53] Singing kind of sea songs.

[1:40:55] This is a movie where it's not, I wouldn't call it magical realist at all, but it kind of gets into a slightly stylized sense of reality that I was looking for more of in Wild Mountain Time.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:10] This is a rare episode in which I have actually watched both movies that you guys recommended.

[1:41:16] This is amazing.

[1:41:17] Yeah.

[1:41:19] Okay.

[1:41:19] Well, that's it.

[1:41:21] We're done.

[1:41:22] Go home.

Dan McCoy

[1:41:23] We did it.

[1:41:23] As Tracy Allman would say.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:25] She'd say it like this.

[1:41:26] Go home.

[1:41:27] Go home.

[1:41:28] And she'd be wearing a robe.

Dan McCoy

[1:41:30] Yeah.

[1:41:31] So thank you to Jordan Cowling, our producer.

[1:41:35] Thank you to MaximumFun.org.

[1:41:37] Our network.

[1:41:39] Go over to MaximumFun.org to check out what else they have.

[1:41:43] They got a lot of podcasts over there.

[1:41:46] I listen to quite a bit of them personally.

[1:41:48] I enjoy them.

[1:41:50] You might as well.

[1:41:51] Rate, review, subscribe.

[1:41:53] Whatever that thing is that people do to make people listen to this thing.

[1:41:57] You guys got anything to say?

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:59] Why don't you check out our upcoming live show?

[1:42:02] It's going to be a lot of fun.

[1:42:03] I'm looking forward to doing it.

[1:42:04] I like making you guys laugh and doing silly presentations and talking about Elliot's favorite movie, Teen Wolf.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:10] Well, it certainly was one of the ones in high circulation at my house growing up because it was one of my sister's favorite movies.

[1:42:15] That's Saturday, February 6th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific, Teen Wolf.

[1:42:19] There'll be more monster talk.

[1:42:20] I'm going to be doing a monster-based presentation.

[1:42:22] So if you want to hear more about monsters, check it out, www.theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[1:42:28] And until then, hey, everybody, let's try to be good to each other.

[1:42:32] Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:42:33] For The Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:36] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:42:37] And I'm Elliot Kalin, www.theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[1:42:41] That's right.

[1:42:41] I legally changed my name to have the URL of the site that sells the tickets in it.

[1:42:46] See you next time.

[1:42:48] Bye.

[1:42:52] I see your beautiful faces.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:03] Thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:06] Flattery will get you sex.

[1:43:09] Oh, wow.

[1:43:10] That was the original version of the joke.

[1:43:12] Bye.

S4

[1:43:22] Supported.

Ep. #333 - Wild Mountain Thyme

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