Ep. #341 - Godzilla vs. Kong, with Zander Cannon

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode we discuss Godzilla vs. Kong.

Stuart Wellington

[0:04] No matter who wins, we'll watch it.

[0:09] That's a good tagline, right?

[0:11] Yeah, it's great. Yeah, it's great.

[0:30] Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Dan McCoy

[0:43] Hey, guys. It's me, Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:45] Hey, my name's Elliot Kalin, and I want to introduce, we also have a special guest with us.

[0:49] So forget our regular hosts, Dan, Stuart, and Elliot. Forget about them for a moment.

[0:53] Throw us in the garbage.

[0:54] Don't need them. Don't need them.

[0:55] Because this episode's going to be all about, that's right, your number one favorite Xander in America.

[1:01] Not Xander Cage, the character from the XXX movies.

[1:05] No, no, no. An even better Xander.

[1:07] Joining us is Xander Cannon. He's a great, great comics creator.

[1:10] I'm sure you know him as the man behind books like Replacement God, Heck, and most importantly, for the discussion of this episode,

[1:16] The Amazing Kaiju Max, one of my favorite all-time series.

[1:20] Oh, man, it's so fucking good.

[1:21] I'm sorry, Nexus. Kaiju Max is running neck and neck with you right now.

[1:24] You've been my favorite for years, but Kaiju Max is up there now.

[1:27] It is a, in case you haven't read it, genuinely heartbreaking story about the inmates and staff at a maximum security prison for kaiju.

[1:35] And Xander is with us today, thankfully, to discuss a movie with so many kaiju in it for an American movie.

[1:42] To be honest, for a Japanese movie, not that many.

[1:44] But for an American movie, a fair amount.

[1:45] Thank you very much for joining us.

[1:47] Sorry, I'm tripping over every single word that is coming out of my mouth.

Stuart Wellington

[1:51] Can I jump in there?

[1:52] I want to throw one more credit in there because it's one of my all-time favorites.

[1:56] Xander, you did the art for Smacks, and I love that art so much.

[1:59] It's so great.

[2:00] The fucking cat dragon.

[2:01] Oh, my Lord.

[2:02] It's the best.

[2:03] Okay, now you can talk.

S4

[2:05] Thanks for having me, you guys.

[2:06] I'm truly honored.

[2:09] I've been a long-time fan, first-time caller of the Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[2:14] Oh, wow.

[2:14] Yeah, we try not to publicize the number, or else people will be calling in all the time being on the show.

[2:19] I mean, it's just 1-800-FLOP-House.

[2:21] That's the thing.

[2:22] It's the easiest number to figure out.

Stuart Wellington

[2:23] Yeah, you'd have been a long-time lister, and you never thought it would happen to you until the other day when a couple of co-eds named Dan Stewart.

Dan McCoy

[2:30] Yeah.

[2:37] So, Dan, you really gave it all.

[2:39] You gave it all for that introduction.

[2:40] You got nothing left in the tank.

[2:40] Dan's got some Titan energy over here.

[2:42] No, I mean, like, look.

Elliott Kalan

[2:44] We got to drill to the center of the earth to recharge Dan.

[2:47] Hold on a second.

Dan McCoy

[2:49] Elliot and I are in a constant.

[2:50] Hook him up to a heave.

[2:51] Elliot and I are in a constant battle about how professional the podcast should be.

[2:57] He thinks the answer is yes.

[2:59] I say not very.

[3:00] I think somewhat, and you think know what.

[3:04] Because, like, I was pondering how much to, like, let you behind the curtain.

[3:10] I moved this weekend, dear listener, and due to some stuff that I will not get into, you know, we shuffled around some stuff.

[3:20] And it was like, oh, now I'm supposed to summarize Godzilla vs. Kong, a movie that, honestly, I'm not quite sure what happened in.

[3:29] So I was just sawing in anticipation of the mess that I'm about to create.

[3:33] Well, we'll help you through it.

Elliott Kalan

[3:34] I think the thing to remember about Godzilla vs. Kong is that the plot is only the most gossamer whisper strung between the pillars of monster fights and inhabited by characters who kind of barely exist.

[3:47] And yet there's a lot of it.

[3:48] There's so much of it.

[3:49] A lot of those gossamer whispers.

[3:50] Yeah.

[3:52] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[3:52] So I want to jump in here.

[3:54] We're talking about Godzilla vs. Kong.

[3:55] And Xander, in addition to doing a book about monsters in prison, I'm assuming you're, we have you on the show because you're also a big kaiju movie fan.

S4

[4:07] Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[4:08] Like, I mean, people, sometimes people mistakenly call me a kaiju expert and I'm like, oh, oh, God, because they're going to, then I think they're going to ask me, like, how many Mechagodzillas there are or whatever.

[4:18] And I'm like, I don't know.

[4:19] I only know what to tell jokes.

Stuart Wellington

[4:20] I see Elliot computing right now.

Elliott Kalan

[4:23] I'm like, okay, well, there's the account Mechagidra in there.

[4:26] Probably not.

[4:26] He says specifically Mechagodzilla.

S4

[4:27] But then, but yeah, like, and so, you know, you end up watching just every stupid, you know, stupid, great, you know, somewhere in between monster movie that comes down the pike.

[4:40] And it's, you know, and the best thing is when you're like, when you start seeing like all these things that, you know, like, like trends from the mid 60s, like, it's like, oh, my God, they did that in every movie.

[4:51] What a dumb thing, you know, like arbitrary thing to put in, you know, anyway.

[4:55] But yeah, I've seen many.

Stuart Wellington

[4:57] And do you feel pressure?

[4:58] Do you feel pressure when a new, like, giant monster movie or kaiju movie comes out that you have to watch it?

[5:04] Because every time a movie comes out where people on Twitter are like, hey, Stuart, this movie, a dude gets his ding dong ripped off.

[5:09] I'm like, fuck, I got to watch that right away.

[5:12] Drop what I'm doing.

S4

[5:13] Yeah, I mean, everybody's always saying like, well, did you see it yet?

Elliott Kalan

[5:16] And it's like, I'm getting to it.

[5:18] I'm getting to it.

[5:19] It's the horrible cycle that goes through where you're like, I have a genuine interest in this thing.

[5:23] So I'm going to talk about it a lot.

[5:25] Uh-oh.

[5:25] Now people think I know a lot about it.

[5:26] Now it's work.

[5:28] Like now it's an assignment that I have to live up to.

Stuart Wellington

[5:30] Now every gift you get is like a ceramic turtle now.

S4

[5:34] That's what I was going to say.

[5:35] Like letting it out that you collect rubber frogs or something.

Elliott Kalan

[5:38] I imagine you're like, you're the guy in the old West town who's seen a lot of kaiju movies.

[5:43] And every now and then like the new young buck who wants to be the kaiju expert comes in to challenge you.

[5:49] And there's like, I was thinking about these starfish monsters from Ultraman.

[5:54] And you're like, I got to come up with something more obscure to hit them with to prove that I'm still the tops.

[5:59] And you can never sleep because you never know when someone's going to walk into town and demand something about kaiju.

Stuart Wellington

[6:03] Elliot, are you pitching like a Eltingville anthology story or something right there?

Elliott Kalan

[6:08] Oh, I wish.

[6:09] Oh my God.

[6:10] I would love to do that.

Dan McCoy

[6:13] Now, so this movie, right guys?

[6:17] This is...

[6:17] Yep.

[6:18] Oh, so what do we do on this podcast, Dan?

[6:19] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and we talk about it.

[6:21] In this case, we're watching Godzilla vs. Kong.

[6:24] One of the many movies that was going to be a theatrical release is now...

[6:30] It was a theatrical release.

[6:31] That's true.

[6:32] Theaters are coming open again.

[6:35] But it was day and date also on HBO Max.

[6:39] If you're dating Charlie Day, you have to watch the movie with him.

[6:41] That's what it means.

[6:42] Day and date.

[6:42] It's the law.

[6:43] Yeah.

[6:43] And so, you know, we caught up with this one.

[6:46] We watched the previous one for one of our live shows.

[6:50] I mention that because this is, at this point, weirdly, the closest to another current successful shared universe, I guess.

[7:01] I mean, I guess DC is straightening up their game a little bit more in that area.

[7:06] Are they?

Stuart Wellington

[7:07] I feel like we did two episodes that proved no they're not.

Dan McCoy

[7:12] No, well, it depends on what your measure of success is, right?

[7:14] Like, I'm saying that, like, this...

[7:18] The only shared universe that's currently going that is both financially successful and relatively critically successful is the Marvel stuff.

[7:30] Like, DC is, you know, has, like, super strong partisans, but does not have the critical success.

[7:38] And then this, like, I don't know.

[7:40] I'm just trying to place this in the idea of, like, there's this vogue for shared universes, right?

[7:45] And, like, this is kind of...

Stuart Wellington

[7:48] Are you talking about how the dark universe was on the cover of Vogue?

Dan McCoy

[7:50] Yeah.

[7:51] We all remember the success of the dark universe.

[7:54] The dark universe took the nation by swarm.

[7:59] Took it by swarm.

[8:00] Swarm a bat!

[8:01] It works!

[8:03] They threw copies of Irwin Allen's The Swarm at America, and America said, no thanks.

[8:09] And, um...

[8:10] No, but this is, like, kind of, like, where the threads come together and where Dan says to himself,

[8:17] please, no more shared universes.

[8:20] Because the movie works so hard to set up a fight between Godzilla and King Kong.

[8:29] And, you know, if you just told me that a giant lizard and a big ape were fighting, I'd be like, cool, I'm in.

[8:36] You don't need to lay so much track for this.

[8:39] And I think a large part of the track that gets laid is the idea, like, oh, we've done all this stuff in these previous movies, which I have totally forgotten most of it.

[8:47] Totally forgotten.

[8:48] And we have to, like, make, like, weave this intricate web.

[8:52] And all of it is boring.

Stuart Wellington

[8:54] Are you saying that you've forgotten it, so really it proves that all the extraneous characters that they brought along from previous movies didn't actually need to show up?

Elliott Kalan

[9:03] I would say that...

[9:04] I would say this movie has a case of Pirates of the Caribbean-itis, where everyone walked out of Pirates of the Caribbean...

[9:10] Are you going to TM that shit?

[9:12] I can't.

[9:13] I mean, I don't own the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

Stuart Wellington

[9:16] Well, by adding the-itis, don't you get the points?

Elliott Kalan

[9:19] The points, like, on his character?

S4

[9:22] He's like Jonas Salk.

[9:23] He doesn't want to, like, you know, he doesn't want to, like, lock it away.

[9:25] He wants it to be-

[9:26] Yeah, yeah.

S4

[9:26] I could patent the-

Elliott Kalan

[9:27] I could patent the drug to cure Pirates of the Caribbean-itis, although we have herd immunity now.

[9:31] They're not making any more of those.

[9:33] But I do.

[9:34] I want that to be-

[9:35] That's my gift to humanity, is to be cured of that.

[9:38] But it's like, everyone walked out of Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl, the first one, saying, boy, that Jack Sparrow was a fun character.

[9:45] And what Disney heard was, people love every single character in this movie, and we need to track all of them.

[9:52] And it's like, I'm like, I'm going to go through the course of multiple movies, no matter how minor a supporting role.

[9:55] And it feels like that, in this one, it's like, but what's going on with the daughter of Vera Farmiga and what's-his-face?

[10:03] And you're like, do they have a daughter?

[10:05] What was that about?

[10:06] Like, who are those characters again?

[10:07] Do I care?

[10:07] Oh, I don't.

[10:08] And then-

Stuart Wellington

[10:08] I mean, I feel like getting more Geoffrey Rush in the second and third movie.

[10:12] I'm like, perfect.

[10:13] More of that.

[10:14] Yes, delicious.

[10:15] But yeah, everything else, no.

[10:16] No, thank you.

S4

[10:16] Well, but I mean, don't you think that Millie Bobby Brown is essentially the-

[10:20] Well, one of the closest thing you have to a star in this movie.

[10:23] Like, she's kind of like of the moment.

[10:25] Like, I think that people remembered, like, oh yeah, the girl from Stranger Things is the, you know, is in the Godzilla movie.

[10:31] Right.

[10:32] And did they remember that?

[10:33] I'm not so sure about that.

Dan McCoy

[10:34] Oh, okay.

[10:35] Millie Bobby Brown is given very little to work with.

[10:38] But I do think that she is a very strong actor, a very charismatic actor.

[10:44] Like, there are a couple-

[10:44] We got a lot of names on the poster.

[10:45] There's a lot of great people.

Elliott Kalan

[10:46] I mean, the fact, like, Rebecca Hall's in this movie.

[10:48] Ryan Tyree Henry is great in this.

[10:49] He's amazing.

[10:50] Ryan Tyree Henry is an amazing actor, and they give him the worst one-liners.

Stuart Wellington

[10:54] Damien Bashir is in this.

[10:55] I like Damien Bashir.

Elliott Kalan

[10:56] But like, I started watching this movie with my wife.

Stuart Wellington

[10:59] Lance Reddick is in a small role.

Elliott Kalan

[11:01] I mean, I love Rebecca Hall.

[11:02] Oh, they're fantastic.

[11:04] Well, I said to my wife while we were watching this,

[11:06] we had just finished a long drive from Northern California, Southern California.

[11:10] I said, I really want to watch this Godzilla vs. Kong movie.

[11:13] And she said, I'll watch it with you, but I can't promise I'll stay awake.

[11:15] And she fell asleep like 15 minutes in.

[11:17] But I was explaining to her, I'm like, these movies kind of are,

[11:21] they're less storytelling machines,

[11:23] and they're more projects for paying very good actors to say things like,

[11:28] Kong bows to no one.

[11:29] Like, and talk about nonsense, scientific gobbledygook,

[11:32] which there is a lot of in this movie.

[11:35] An unnecessarily large amount of gravity inversions

[11:38] and secret Titan energies at the center of the Earths

[11:41] and things that, it's like they just wanted to overcomplicate everything.

[11:45] But there's, I think, so we should make it clear that like,

[11:47] there's a lot of great people in this movie,

[11:49] but the characters they are given to play are not much of anything.

Dan McCoy

[11:54] Well, and also I want to say, I mean, Adam Wingard, the director,

[11:59] you know, he made You're Next, which had past guests, Barbara Crampton in it.

[12:05] Excellent little contained horror movie.

[12:09] The Guest, like one of my like favorite little like goofy, nasty little thrillers.

[12:17] Yeah.

[12:17] The Guest is the best.

[12:18] It's right in there.

[12:19] Love it.

[12:20] But then, you know, he did the Blair Witch, I guess, reboot.

[12:25] I didn't even see it.

[12:26] It kind of came in without making any kind of mark on the popular culture.

[12:31] Much like the real Blair Witch.

[12:33] Yeah.

[12:33] Death Note for Netflix, which everyone who, you know,

[12:38] was familiar with the comic, I guess, like hated.

Stuart Wellington

[12:42] It's not very good.

Dan McCoy

[12:44] It's not a very good movie.

[12:45] I watched the first half of it.

[12:47] I never returned to it because I just like,

[12:49] it's a sign of a good movie.

[12:51] No, no.

[12:51] You like put down a book and you're like,

[12:53] that was okay, but I don't, whatever.

[12:55] Like, but I didn't hate it like everyone else.

[12:57] And maybe it's because I didn't have any attachment to it.

[12:59] But like, he like took this turn after the guest, right?

[13:01] And Godzilla versus Kong.

[13:03] I'm glad to see that he's getting like a big paycheck job

[13:09] because I liked those first two movies so much.

[13:12] But at the same time, like the best I can say for this movie

[13:16] is he brings like a much like prettier look to the movie.

[13:21] Like the movie is no longer a swirling mass of like gray ash

[13:26] like the last one was.

[13:28] No, no.

Elliott Kalan

[13:28] It's a swirling mass of bright colors and neon signs and things.

[13:31] Like it definitely, there's a big fight at the end,

[13:34] spoiler alert, between Godzilla and Kong.

[13:35] And it's in this like, are they in Hong Kong?

[13:39] Is that what it's supposed to be?

[13:39] They're in Hong Kong, yeah.

[13:40] And it's like just neon colors

[13:41] and like futuristic skyscrapers being destroyed.

[13:44] And it was so pretty that it was almost enough for me to forget

[13:46] that it was like, oh, they're killing tens of thousands of people

[13:49] with every blow.

[13:50] Every time Kong smashes Godzilla's face through a building

[13:53] and the building completely collapses.

[13:55] Like that's so many lives and stories over.

Dan McCoy

[13:58] Guys, I realize that we haven't even gotten to the plot yet,

[14:01] but can I confess that this is my main problem

[14:04] with Godzilla in general as a thing.

[14:08] Like any long running sort of series,

[14:12] what was originally the monster gets repositioned as the hero

[14:17] in one way or another.

[14:19] Whether it's like in these Godzilla movies

[14:21] where he's actually a hero

[14:23] or in something like, I don't know,

[14:26] like the Nightmare on Elm Street movies

[14:28] where it's just like...

[14:30] Godzilla steps on...

[14:31] Godzilla's in those?

Elliott Kalan

[14:32] He steps on Freddy and that's how he saves those kids.

[14:34] But it's accidental.

[14:35] He doesn't mean to do it.

[14:36] He's just not looking.

Dan McCoy

[14:37] In the first movie, like Freddy is like scary

[14:38] and you're supposed to hate Freddy.

[14:40] Later on, you're supposed to be like,

[14:42] oh, Freddy's fun to watch.

[14:43] I don't give a shit about these teens.

[14:45] You know, like Freddy becomes the hero of the film

[14:48] in effect, even if he's like the antagonist

[14:53] in like a plot sense.

[14:55] But like Godzilla...

Elliott Kalan

[14:55] And then there was that movie where it's like,

[14:57] what's Freddy like when he's not killing kids in their dreams?

[15:00] And it was so sad.

[15:01] It was just like,

[15:02] he has so little going for him in his life

[15:04] and his marriage is falling apart

[15:05] and his kids never call him.

[15:07] That's shown on the screen

Stuart Wellington

[15:09] by him eating a hungry man dinner.

Elliott Kalan

[15:11] That's code for him having an empty life.

[15:14] And masturbating, sadly, in the shower.

[15:18] Yeah.

[15:18] Which he has to be careful with.

[15:20] He's not wearing the glove.

[15:22] What?

[15:23] Why would he wear that in the shower?

[15:24] It's going to ruin the leather.

[15:26] He does wear his hat in the shower and his sweater.

[15:28] That's the weird thing.

[15:29] He's naked from the waist down,

[15:30] but he's still wearing the hat and the sweater,

[15:32] but not the glove.

Dan McCoy

[15:32] I get that part.

[15:34] I just have a problem with these movies

[15:36] where they try and position Godzilla and Kong here

[15:41] as heroes in a much more unambiguous sense

[15:48] than reality would reflect.

[15:50] Like you're saying, Elliot,

[15:51] I watched them fighting and I'm like,

[15:53] okay, well, it doesn't matter if maybe

[15:55] their reasons is happening,

[15:57] they'll team up against a greater evil later,

[15:59] all that stuff.

[16:00] They're destroying a city.

Elliott Kalan

[16:02] Well, Xander, you talk.

[16:05] You're the expert.

[16:06] You're the self-admitted, self-described kaiju expert.

S4

[16:09] Absolutely.

[16:10] Yeah, number one.

[16:11] Well, one of the things that I liked about Pacific Rim

[16:13] is that it embraced some of that silliness

[16:16] where it was like, well, we need to have big things

[16:20] smash other big things,

[16:21] and we don't want to have people feel ambiguous

[16:24] and sort of weird about it.

[16:26] So it's like, oh, we're, and it was Hong Kong again.

[16:28] They were like, we are evacuating Hong Kong

[16:30] to these underground shelters.

[16:32] And they were done evacuating everybody

[16:35] in this, you know, the second largest city in the world

[16:37] in like 10 minutes.

[16:39] But you were like, okay, sure.

[16:41] And then, you know, smash everything.

[16:43] Yeah.

[16:44] Smash away.

[16:45] Punch through that building.

[16:46] I mean, and so, and I mean, you might think like,

[16:48] well, that's not very likely.

[16:49] And it's like, nothing's likely.

[16:50] You might as well do that and have people stop going like,

[16:54] Jesus Christ, those people are, you know, vaporized.

Stuart Wellington

[16:58] Yeah.

[16:58] I don't know why it bothers me less in something like this

[17:01] than say like Superman,

[17:03] where he's just like roasting all these buildings

[17:04] full of people.

[17:06] Well, because there's definitely supposed to be a hero.

Elliott Kalan

[17:09] And also, he's supposed to be the hero

[17:10] and he's got human intelligence.

[17:12] Exactly.

[17:12] So he knows what's going on.

[17:13] Like Godzilla, when he works as a somewhat heroic protector

[17:18] of the earth, I feel like it's when he works

[17:19] in the level of a cosmic or a god-like being

[17:21] who humans are kind of beneath his notice individually,

[17:25] but he is, he's this force that like is protecting the earth

[17:29] from a bigger problem, but it doesn't matter.

[17:32] You know, he doesn't notice the collateral damage underneath.

[17:34] Whereas in this one, we'll get to it when we go to the plot.

[17:37] The big, the big thing they team up against

[17:38] is not a threat to people.

[17:40] I guess it is because it's got,

[17:42] it's got a bad guy brain in it,

[17:43] but it's like,

[17:44] but it feels like,

[17:46] it doesn't feel like,

[17:47] in the last one,

[17:48] Godzilla, King of the Monsters,

[17:49] it was basically a big pissing match

[17:51] between Godzilla and King Ghidorah.

[17:52] But you could buy that King Ghidorah

[17:54] was like an outer space monster.

[17:56] So he's an invader,

[17:57] as opposed to these earth-born,

[17:58] as opposed to these native-born monsters

[18:00] that are okay.

[18:01] King Ghidorah is like an immigrant monster

[18:03] that's trying to take the jobs.

[18:05] It's a Godzilla replacement strategy

[18:07] that I do not,

[18:07] that is not okay.

[18:09] You know,

[18:09] every time they bring another monster

[18:11] and it dilutes Godzilla's vote.

[18:13] But in this one,

[18:14] it felt much less like,

[18:16] you could even spin it as,

[18:18] oh, well,

[18:18] they're saving people.

[18:20] monster grudge matches.

[18:21] And that's okay,

[18:22] if you do,

[18:23] I think,

[18:23] I agree with Xander,

[18:24] like,

[18:25] if they have been like,

[18:26] evacuate the city,

[18:27] and then five minutes later,

[18:28] okay,

[18:29] we've evacuated everybody.

[18:30] And then there's always like,

[18:31] one kid that's left on the surface

[18:32] that they've got to save

[18:33] at the last minute.

[18:34] But this,

[18:35] the fight was going on for hours

[18:36] and they'd still cut to people

[18:37] running for safety.

[18:38] And I'd be like,

[18:39] wait,

[18:40] but then I don't want to think

[18:41] about all the damage.

[18:42] Like,

[18:42] that's terrible.

S4

[18:43] Right,

[18:44] Godzilla had been in the city

[18:45] for like an hour

[18:45] and there was a shot

[18:46] from inside like a,

[18:47] you know,

[18:48] a restaurant on the 50th floor

[18:49] or something

[18:50] and people are like,

[18:50] huh?

[18:52] You guys,

[18:53] look at the news or something.

[18:55] Yeah.

[18:56] Okay,

[18:56] well,

[18:56] that's,

[18:57] I mean,

[18:57] a lot of talk about-

[18:58] Let's dive into the plot.

[18:58] Let's be like a Godzilla

Elliott Kalan

[18:59] and dive into the water of the plot.

[19:01] Heck yeah.

[19:02] Wait,

[19:02] I got a better one.

[19:03] Let's be like the heroes of the movie

[19:04] and dive into the center of the plot

[19:06] and hopefully the gravity inversion membrane

[19:08] won't hurt us too much

[19:10] so that we can fight off

[19:11] those gross bat birds.

[19:13] Anyway.

Dan McCoy

[19:14] Okay,

[19:14] well,

[19:15] anyway,

[19:15] so it is five years

[19:18] after Godzilla has defeated King Ghidorah.

[19:23] The,

[19:23] you know,

[19:23] we're living in a post-kaiju world here.

[19:27] They call them Titans.

[19:28] Titans.

[19:29] Titans,

[19:29] yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:29] And I think that's because

[19:30] they are avoiding anything

[19:31] that they will have to conceivably pay Toho

[19:34] more money to use.

[19:36] Yeah.

[19:36] So like,

[19:37] it's something that I should make clear right away

[19:39] is don't listen for Godzilla's trademark scream

[19:42] or his trademark anthem

[19:44] because you won't see them

[19:45] because they would have cost more money

[19:47] to license them from Toho.

[19:48] Yeah.

[19:49] And there's a credit.

[19:49] Oh man.

[19:50] Okay,

[19:50] wait.

[19:50] I have to say this.

[19:51] Okay.

[19:51] At the beginning of the movie,

[19:52] it says Godzilla owned and created by Toho Studios.

[19:57] And I was like,

[19:58] a studio does not create a character like that.

[20:01] Like people create characters.

[20:03] Like put,

[20:03] put Shiro Honda's name on there somewhere.

[20:05] Like it was,

[20:06] it made me very mad to see.

[20:07] It was like,

[20:07] if at the end of every Marvel movie,

[20:09] they were like,

[20:10] Captain America,

[20:11] Spider-Man,

[20:12] Black Panther,

[20:13] and Hulk created by Marvel Comics.

[20:15] And you'd be like,

[20:15] no,

[20:15] that's not how things work.

[20:17] You know.

S4

[20:17] But they,

[20:17] but they do say that in like Marvel and DC,

[20:20] like shows and stuff.

[20:21] They're like,

[20:21] you know,

[20:22] using characters created by DC Comics.

[20:23] And it's like,

[20:24] God,

[20:24] really?

[20:24] I don't like that.

[20:25] Well,

[20:26] and one of the things,

[20:27] you know,

[20:27] not to be like a VH1 pop-up video,

[20:29] but like the,

[20:30] but Yoshimitsu Bano,

[20:31] who's one of the,

[20:32] the,

[20:33] the main Japanese producers that sort of brought it over to legendary,

[20:36] um,

[20:37] was blacklisted from Godzilla films forever.

[20:40] Cause he directed Godzilla versus the smog monster.

[20:42] And he,

[20:43] and the,

[20:44] one of the,

[20:45] you know,

[20:46] producers that said,

[20:46] this is the worst movie I've ever seen.

[20:48] You are blacklisted from ever directing a,

[20:51] uh,

[20:51] Godzilla movie again.

[20:53] And then he basically just outlived them all.

[20:55] Now he's in charge of it again.

Stuart Wellington

[20:58] It's the best revenge.

[21:00] That's how you stun on them,

[21:01] right?

Dan McCoy

[21:02] Living long is the best revenge.

Elliott Kalan

[21:04] Godzilla taunting.

[21:07] Godzilla riding a tauntaun.

[21:09] Oh,

[21:09] he'd crush it.

[21:10] But anyway,

[21:10] very similar body types.

[21:12] Yeah,

[21:12] that's true.

[21:13] Uh,

[21:13] so Dan,

[21:13] it's five years after what's going on with our favorite monsters.

Dan McCoy

[21:16] Well,

[21:16] Kong is,

[21:18] uh,

[21:18] we see Kong,

[21:19] you know,

[21:19] he comes out of the,

[21:20] the,

[21:21] the jungle and there's a,

[21:23] a small,

[21:23] uh,

[21:24] child,

[21:25] um,

[21:26] from like one of the,

[21:28] I guess,

[21:28] local Island tribes who can,

[21:30] who has like an affinity with Kong.

[21:33] This is,

[21:34] uh,

[21:34] Gia.

[21:35] Wikipedia tells me,

[21:36] um,

[21:38] the,

[21:38] I,

[21:38] I never remember any names of anyone in any movie.

[21:42] I see.

[21:43] Does this happen?

[21:44] And she is,

Stuart Wellington

[21:44] she is deaf and she is played by a deaf actress.

Elliott Kalan

[21:48] Oh,

[21:48] that,

[21:48] that's interesting.

[21:49] And it's never said in the movie,

[21:51] but I always assumed that she has some sort of mental,

[21:54] like psychic bond with Kong because otherwise it makes no sense how he can like communicate

[21:59] with her because she's the size of an aunt to him,

[22:01] but she'll frown at him and he's like,

[22:03] what's wrong?

[22:04] It's like,

[22:04] I just amazed that he,

[22:06] they can communicate,

Stuart Wellington

[22:06] you know,

[22:07] but that's like,

[22:07] that's pretty common though.

[22:08] Like,

[22:09] uh,

[22:09] giant monsters always have like a magic kid or kids that they bond with.

[22:13] But it's always assumed,

Elliott Kalan

[22:14] it's always implied there's some kind of miss,

[22:15] like Gamera always,

[22:16] and like,

[22:16] always had like a Kenny that would,

[22:18] that would follow him around and be like,

[22:20] no,

[22:21] don't,

[22:21] don't hurt Gamera.

[22:22] Well,

[22:22] Gamera is destroying buildings.

[22:23] Like now it always is implied.

[22:24] I think that there's some kind of psychic connection,

[22:26] you know?

S4

[22:27] Uh,

[22:27] I just thought it was just sort of like,

[22:29] obviously these kids are cute.

[22:30] Like,

[22:30] you know,

[22:31] Gamera thinks that too.

Dan McCoy

[22:34] They're little,

S4

[22:34] they're cute.

[22:35] They're like very cute ants.

Dan McCoy

[22:38] Um,

[22:39] just like in the movie,

[22:41] a bug's life.

Elliott Kalan

[22:41] Uh,

[22:42] now,

Dan McCoy

[22:43] but not like in the movie ants where for all the other things,

[22:45] the designs are not the best.

[22:48] Yeah.

[22:49] Um,

[22:50] so,

[22:50] uh,

[22:51] Kong is displeased.

[22:52] We see that,

[22:54] uh,

[22:54] it is because Kong is actually trapped.

[22:56] What looks like,

[22:57] uh,

[22:58] Skull Island is like,

[22:59] uh,

[23:00] some sort of electro dome,

[23:02] keeping Kong captive.

[23:05] Um,

Stuart Wellington

[23:06] and safe,

[23:07] they say captive and safe.

[23:08] Yeah.

[23:09] Godzilla won't sense his Titan signature or whatever bullshit.

[23:12] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[23:12] Cause they,

[23:12] cause they all,

[23:13] as we know from the last movie,

[23:14] they register each other's bio energy.

[23:16] Yeah.

[23:17] And,

[23:17] and you should mention Rebecca Hall works at,

[23:20] this is a Monarch facility,

[23:21] Monarch,

[23:21] the,

[23:22] the company that,

[23:23] uh,

[23:23] deals with monsters,

[23:25] uh,

[23:25] and first encountered Kong back in Kong Skull Island in the 1970s.

[23:30] Right.

[23:31] Uh,

[23:31] and now,

[23:32] uh,

[23:32] and Rebecca Hall works there and she's like famous for it.

[23:35] And there's a magazine cover that shows her and says the Kong whisperer.

[23:39] it's just always one of those things where it's weird to me that Godzilla doesn't get that magazine.

[23:43] No,

[23:43] he does.

[23:44] That's the thing.

[23:44] That's why he's looking for it.

[23:46] Yeah.

[23:46] Uh,

[23:46] it's,

[23:47] it's like in real life.

[23:48] Yeah.

[23:48] This stuff would be famous,

[23:49] but it always seems funny to me that it's like,

[23:51] yeah,

[23:52] she's a famous scientist.

[23:53] Kong is famous.

[23:54] He's a,

[23:54] he's a known quantity.

[23:55] People,

[23:55] you know,

[23:56] talk about him all the time and she talks about him like someone she knows well.

[23:59] And that's why it's,

[24:01] it reminds me so much of the,

[24:02] uh,

[24:02] the great line from the movie Venom.

[24:04] I'm sorry about Venom.

[24:06] That,

[24:06] uh,

[24:06] where it's like,

[24:08] they just say these characters names as if they're just people,

[24:11] you know,

[24:11] is,

[24:12] is ridiculous.

[24:13] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[24:13] Uh,

[24:14] anyway,

[24:14] we're introduced to Bernie Hayes,

[24:16] who,

[24:17] uh,

[24:17] is a podcaster,

[24:20] a heroic podcaster.

[24:21] We all know the true heroes.

[24:24] Yeah.

[24:24] The podcasters.

[24:25] He's got,

[24:26] uh,

Elliott Kalan

[24:26] and he's paper boy from,

[24:28] uh,

[24:28] from,

[24:28] uh,

[24:29] Atlanta.

[24:29] Yeah.

[24:30] Yeah.

[24:30] Brian Tyree Henry.

[24:31] And he does,

[24:32] it does a voice in house broken,

[24:33] the upcoming Fox animated show that I worked on.

[24:35] That's great.

[24:36] So awesome.

[24:37] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[24:37] He's great.

[24:38] Um,

[24:38] well,

[24:39] he has a Titan conspiracy theory podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[24:43] He's a Titan truther.

[24:44] Mm hmm.

Dan McCoy

[24:45] And,

[24:46] uh,

[24:46] he's,

[24:47] uh,

[24:47] got this scheme to get information,

[24:50] which I guess just sort of involves an irritating someone inside one of these facilities until they go to the bathroom.

[24:56] So he can,

[24:57] uh,

Stuart Wellington

[24:57] take classic video game strategy and stealth video games.

Dan McCoy

[25:00] Yeah.

[25:01] Uh,

[25:02] in the middle of all this though,

[25:04] Godzilla attacks the facility.

[25:07] Oh,

Stuart Wellington

[25:07] this is apex.

[25:08] Which is a,

[25:09] uh,

[25:09] a company that had,

[25:11] we've been introduced to them before.

Elliott Kalan

[25:12] I don't think so because they're comically evil CEO.

[25:15] Yeah.

[25:16] Uh,

[25:16] was played by Damien Bashir.

[25:18] He's great.

[25:18] Uh,

[25:19] he's,

[25:19] he's great.

[25:20] you're like,

[25:21] is this character supposed to be like a Colombian drug Lord from a 1980s action movie?

[25:25] Cause he's got,

[25:26] cause he's,

[25:27] it's the same type of performance,

[25:28] which works perfectly for this character.

S4

[25:30] But his name is Walter Simmons,

[25:32] which I think is great.

[25:34] Also the fact that he has the same voice as the,

[25:37] as the drug Lords,

[25:38] that he's played in all of his previous roles.

Elliott Kalan

[25:41] That,

[25:41] uh,

[25:41] that,

[25:42] uh,

[25:42] Brian Tahiria Henry is playing Bernie Hayes.

[25:45] It's just like,

[25:45] this is this,

[25:47] these characters were written and they just colorblind casted as much as possible,

[25:50] which is fantastic.

[25:51] but it,

[25:51] it's,

[25:52] it's,

Elliott Kalan

[25:52] it's,

[25:52] it's the exact opposite of the scene in the Martian where there's a scientist who clearly the part was written to be Korean American and they have,

[26:00] uh,

[26:00] a blonde white girl playing it.

[26:01] And I'm like,

[26:02] come on,

[26:03] this,

[26:03] there's no,

[26:04] everything about this character.

[26:05] Like her last name is Park.

[26:06] Like she works on this project,

[26:08] like just cast a Korean actress.

[26:10] Come on.

[26:10] But,

[26:11] uh,

Stuart Wellington

[26:11] this facility is in Florida,

[26:14] Pensacola,

[26:15] Pensacola,

[26:16] Florida,

[26:16] first of the sodas.

[26:17] And Godzilla shows up out of the water.

[26:19] I like,

[26:19] I kind of like the reveal.

[26:20] Like it's,

[26:21] it's pretty cool.

[26:21] You watch Godzilla float up,

[26:23] uh,

[26:24] and then some jets try and stop him and he just beats the shit out of him.

[26:28] Yeah.

[26:28] And you know,

[26:28] we get our first good look at our boy Godzilla.

[26:30] Once again,

[26:31] I've mentioned this on the podcast before,

[26:32] but he is thick as hell.

[26:34] I love it.

[26:35] Serving up body,

[26:36] yaddy,

[26:36] yaddy with that,

[26:37] those big old tree trunk legs.

[26:38] He looks like,

[26:39] like if a mountain got up and decide to walk,

[26:41] I love it so much.

[26:42] He's great.

[26:43] And yes,

[26:43] he's got a little old man face.

[26:45] There's a little old man face.

Elliott Kalan

[26:47] Wouldn't bother me so much,

[26:47] except there are many shots where he looks right at the camera and he's got like a Mr.

[26:50] Magoo,

[26:51] like,

[26:51] Ooh,

[26:52] type look on his face.

[26:53] And Xander,

[26:54] how did,

[26:55] how did you,

[26:55] how do you feel about this Godzilla design?

[26:57] I have my issues with it.

S4

[26:58] I mean,

[26:58] I,

[26:59] he's,

[26:59] it's,

[27:00] it's probably one of my less favorite ones.

[27:02] I mean,

[27:02] I really like,

[27:03] I really like sort of the millennium era Godzilla,

[27:05] sort of almost that sort of cat,

[27:07] cat like face.

[27:08] Yeah.

[27:08] Where he even has little ears.

[27:10] Um,

[27:10] but this one,

[27:11] I mean,

[27:12] it's fine.

[27:12] I think it's too bad that like,

[27:14] they make it so CGI and so movable.

[27:17] Like there's,

[27:18] if on those closeups,

[27:18] it's like there's every little part is moving and it's like,

[27:21] it wouldn't be moving.

[27:22] He's like a big creature,

[27:24] you know,

[27:24] like he,

[27:24] you know,

[27:25] it's anyway,

[27:26] but,

[27:26] uh,

[27:27] but yeah,

[27:27] he's not,

[27:27] he's not clay face or something.

[27:29] Right.

[27:30] Right.

[27:32] One of my main concerns.

[27:33] He's not,

Elliott Kalan

[27:33] he's just too clay face.

[27:35] Like every movie you go,

[27:36] I don't want spoilers.

[27:37] Is Godzilla clay face in this one?

[27:38] No,

[27:39] he's not.

[27:39] Okay,

[27:39] good.

[27:40] Then I'll go see it.

Stuart Wellington

[27:41] Okay.

[27:41] Thank God.

[27:42] Clay face was an actor before he was a super villain.

[27:45] So,

[27:45] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[27:45] he could be playing.

[27:46] Well,

[27:46] and the weird thing about these characters is that I'm sure it's all motion

[27:49] capture,

[27:49] they're all CGI,

[27:51] but they still move like guys in suits.

[27:53] Like they,

[27:53] they're not really.

[27:54] I think it was motion captured.

[27:55] It had to have been,

[27:56] but there,

[27:57] there there's for some reason,

[27:58] it comes off not looking as animalistic as I would like to for Godzilla.

[28:01] He's still,

[28:02] maybe it's because he and King Kong punch each other in the face,

[28:04] which seems like a weird fighting move for a giant dinosaur to like punch and kick.

[28:08] I think,

Stuart Wellington

[28:08] I think that was an express.

[28:09] I think Adam Wingard said that was like an,

[28:11] an intention.

[28:12] Like he wanted to make it look like eighties action movies or like,

[28:16] uh,

[28:17] like wrestling.

[28:18] Oh,

[28:18] I see.

[28:18] Yeah.

[28:19] So,

[28:19] I mean,

[28:19] it was a choice whether or not you agree with it.

S4

[28:21] Yeah.

[28:22] A lot,

[28:22] a lot of director,

[28:23] I feel like a lot of directors say that we want it to look like guys in

[28:25] suits.

[28:26] It's,

[28:26] you know,

[28:27] it's part of the whole thing,

[28:28] but,

[28:29] uh,

[28:29] but yeah,

[28:29] and I,

[28:30] I,

[28:30] I do think the,

[28:31] my one complaint about that,

[28:32] this Godzilla design is that his head is so small.

[28:36] it just seems like it could be a little bit bigger,

[28:38] like a T-Rex,

[28:39] you know,

[28:39] or I mean,

[28:39] not even that big,

[28:40] but like,

[28:41] I don't know.

[28:41] It just seems like it just,

[28:42] it just tapers down into nothing.

Elliott Kalan

[28:45] So he's got a real snub nose.

[28:46] You're saying you'd rather have like a long T-Rex type face,

[28:49] maybe a longer,

[28:50] leaner body.

[28:50] Maybe Matthew Broderick is in it.

[28:52] Maybe he's got long,

[28:53] long thin legs.

[28:54] Exactly.

[28:54] In the right direction.

[28:56] Yeah.

[28:56] Maybe he gets killed by just a couple lucky missile shots on a bridge.

[29:00] And you're like,

[29:00] that was it.

[29:01] Why didn't they do that earlier in the movie?

Stuart Wellington

[29:03] I'm just worried that if his head was much bigger,

[29:04] it'd be a more tempting target for a nuclear axe.

[29:07] But yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[29:08] Oh boy.

[29:09] Yeah.

[29:09] As we'll find out,

[29:09] that is a real concern.

[29:11] So Godzilla's attacking.

[29:13] And at the same,

[29:14] while this is happening,

[29:15] it reveals to Bernie a,

[29:17] some kind of giant machine that Apex is building.

Dan McCoy

[29:20] Right.

[29:20] There's some big glowy machine.

[29:22] And when you see a big glowy machine,

[29:23] this,

[29:24] this company is up to no good.

[29:25] That's probably what drew Godzilla.

[29:28] Godzilla had a sense.

[29:29] This company is up to no good.

[29:30] I got to smash them.

Elliott Kalan

[29:32] It's one of these funny things where you see the machine and he's like,

[29:34] what?

[29:35] And I think you as an audience are supposed to be like,

[29:37] what is that machine?

[29:38] But it just looks like a big machine to me.

[29:39] I was like,

[29:40] honestly,

[29:40] I don't know,

[29:41] man.

[29:41] There's nothing about this.

[29:42] This is particularly sinister.

Dan McCoy

[29:43] It's glowing red though.

S4

[29:45] Jet turbine that has this glowing red.

[29:47] But lots of things glow red.

[29:49] I think that sometimes you have these,

[29:50] you know,

[29:51] the production designers do such a good job of having like everything look like

[29:54] cool,

[29:55] weird technology that then when you are like,

[29:57] you're supposed to look at this one cool,

[29:59] weird technology,

[30:00] I,

[30:01] it blends in to everything.

[30:02] I mean,

[30:02] everything looks cool.

Elliott Kalan

[30:03] Especially since we find out later this,

[30:05] this company has hidden subterranean tunnels that can,

[30:08] with a,

[30:09] with like a rocket to train that can get you around the world within minutes.

[30:13] it seems like they're way ahead of anything.

[30:16] Like they've already got all this neat stuff like that.

[30:18] They shouldn't really have.

[30:19] And I don't know what it is about this thing yet.

[30:22] But yeah,

[30:22] we've talked about this and an episode recently called the final program.

[30:25] We talked about how I'm a big fan of science fiction where labs and

[30:29] complexes look really slapped together with lots of wires trailing all over

[30:32] the place.

[30:33] And I wish it was more like that.

[30:35] Anytime in the Akira comic book series that they go to a laboratory and it's

[30:38] clear that like,

[30:39] they didn't finish bolting all the panels on the walls and there's still

[30:42] wires everywhere.

[30:43] Like big fan of that.

[30:45] But anyway,

[30:46] so Dan,

[30:46] what happens?

[30:46] Godzilla's attacking the end of the movie.

[30:48] Where's Kong?

Dan McCoy

[30:52] I don't look,

[30:53] look,

[30:53] I,

[30:54] this is a series of images in my brain guys.

[30:57] Sure.

Stuart Wellington

[30:58] So cut to cut to,

[31:00] I think right around now,

[31:01] Damien Beshear,

[31:02] a,

[31:03] an evil CEO shows up at Alexander Skarsgård's apartment.

[31:07] Alexander Skarsgård is a scientist who has some kind of theory about how the

[31:10] earth is actually hollow and there's some kind of gravity inversion bullshit.

[31:13] And like people killed his brother.

[31:16] It killed his brother.

Elliott Kalan

[31:16] His brother went to explore the hollow earth and there's some kind of inversion

[31:21] gravity.

[31:21] When you get closer to the core of the earth that flips you inside out or

[31:25] something upside down all around,

[31:27] spins you around like a record player.

[31:29] And so he says he was,

[31:30] he's the laughingstock now and he can't sell his book.

[31:34] Even worse.

[31:34] He can't sell any copies of his book.

S4

[31:37] I did relate to him saying that he had 30 unsold boxes of,

[31:40] of his book in his apartment.

[31:41] I've,

[31:42] I've lived that life.

[31:43] Alexander Skarsgård.

[31:44] It's like,

[31:44] I feel you.

Elliott Kalan

[31:45] And,

[31:46] and with him and with the guy from apex is the new Dr.

[31:50] Shirazawa,

[31:52] the,

[31:52] the son of the previous Dr.

[31:54] Shirazawa,

[31:55] the Shirazawa from the previous movies.

[31:57] And they,

[31:58] Oh,

[31:58] right.

[31:58] Okay.

[31:58] There seemed to be up to no good,

[32:00] but they have a,

[32:01] they,

[32:01] they want to hit his help in exploring the hollow earth because I don't remember the

[32:04] exact order of how they reveal this information in the movie,

[32:07] there's like a power source.

[32:08] These monsters have special energy and this,

[32:11] they come from the center of the earth.

[32:12] So I guess the center of the earth must be full of special energy cubes and gems.

[32:15] And we want to go get those,

[32:16] get those energy gems.

[32:17] It's all made up nonsense.

[32:19] That makes no sense.

Dan McCoy

[32:20] Was it,

[32:21] is it the,

[32:22] is it a line from mystery men where they're like,

[32:24] this is why nine times out of 10,

[32:26] you want to go with a,

[32:28] instead of a mad scientist,

[32:29] an average run of the mill scientist or something like that.

[32:32] Cause I feel like in these movies,

[32:34] they're always like,

[32:34] Oh,

[32:35] we got to go to this fringe scientist.

[32:37] Who's the only one who knows the truth.

[32:40] And like,

[32:41] sure.

[32:42] Sometimes everything we know is wrong.

[32:44] You know,

[32:45] some brilliant mind comes in.

[32:48] Or beautiful mind.

[32:49] Yeah.

[32:50] And flips,

[32:51] flips the script.

[32:52] Not as good as a beautiful heart,

Elliott Kalan

[32:53] but it's still okay.

[32:54] But it's much better than an absent mind.

[32:56] Yeah.

[32:57] Now,

[32:57] so here's,

[32:58] here's what I'm going to tell you.

Dan McCoy

[32:58] But no,

[33:00] sorry,

[33:00] I just to finish the thought,

[33:02] like it is one of these cases where it's like,

[33:04] I will take that normally.

[33:06] But if you're trying to sell me,

[33:08] Oh,

[33:08] the earth is hollow and we can travel through it.

[33:10] And there's like weird shit inside.

[33:12] I'm like,

Elliott Kalan

[33:13] It's like,

[33:14] we probably would have figured that out by now.

[33:16] Well,

[33:16] I think there's a,

[33:17] there's a,

[33:17] this is one of the kind of hidden toxicities of every,

[33:22] of,

[33:23] of,

[33:23] of kind of classical filmmaking is that everyone's got to be an underdog.

[33:28] And what that means is if you're going to talk to a scientist,

[33:31] he,

[33:32] I mean,

[33:32] sometimes a lot of movies would be like,

[33:33] this is the top guy in this field,

[33:34] but you want to have the tension of,

[33:36] here's a character who needs to prove something.

[33:39] No one believes him so that they,

[33:40] there's an arc and they can,

[33:42] but what that means is you have all these movies that are constantly pushing the idea that.

[33:46] The science that you're told is wrong.

[33:49] Actually,

[33:49] the fringe theory is the right one.

[33:51] The same way that there are every,

[33:53] there are no,

[33:54] there are very few movies where the government is competent and knows what they're doing because it's a better story for there to be a conspiracy or some bad thing going on.

[34:02] And the lone voice of reason who everyone treats is crazy.

[34:06] But it means like there's this constant diet of movies and TV shows and stories where the mainstream of the world is lying to you.

[34:14] And only this person on the edge who's been doing their own research has the correct truth.

[34:19] Luckily,

[34:19] that's never had a negative effect in real life and we're not living through anything now that shows the danger of that.

[34:24] Luckily,

[34:25] this is all hypothetical I'm talking about.

S4

[34:27] That's what I was thinking too.

[34:28] Like,

[34:28] I mean,

[34:28] that,

[34:28] that sort of,

[34:29] the zeitgeist kind of like makes that a fun movie to watch and then a not very fun movie to watch.

[34:35] And then maybe it'll be a fun movie to watch again.

[34:36] But yeah.

[34:37] Well,

[34:37] it's funny how,

Elliott Kalan

[34:38] when I,

[34:40] when,

[34:40] like when the X-Files was a new show,

[34:42] I was like,

[34:42] yeah,

[34:42] the government's always lying about stuff.

[34:44] Yeah,

[34:44] yeah,

[34:44] conspiracies.

[34:45] And then when they did that X-Files miniseries a few years ago,

[34:48] and they had a Joel McHale playing like an Alex Jones type character.

[34:53] looking forward to the,

[34:54] to the scene where they take him down a notch.

[34:56] And they didn't because in the world of the X-Files,

[34:58] the Alex Jones character is accurate,

[35:00] is correct because there are conspiracies with aliens.

[35:03] oh no,

[35:05] the X-Files is undermining the stable ground of society.

[35:08] I never realized this before.

[35:10] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[35:11] So speaking of,

[35:12] speaking of conspiracy theories though,

[35:14] that's where Brian Tyree,

[35:16] Henry's character comes back because Millie Bobby Brown's character,

[35:20] who we know from previous movies is a huge fan of his podcast.

[35:23] T,

[35:24] what is it?

[35:24] TTP Titan Truth Podcast.

[35:27] Something like that.

[35:28] Terrible name.

[35:29] Never going to get picked up.

[35:30] You need a fucking pun,

[35:31] dude.

[35:31] Yeah.

[35:32] Yeah.

[35:32] That's the only way to do it.

Dan McCoy

[35:34] Preferably a pun that like,

[35:35] people aren't sure whether you spell it,

[35:37] uh,

[35:38] like as two separate words,

[35:40] like for the pun or with one word,

[35:42] like the normal word.

[35:44] Yeah.

[35:44] And,

[35:45] uh,

[35:45] like maybe a pun also that people are like,

[35:47] oh,

[35:47] was that like financially unsuccessful?

[35:50] And you have to be like,

[35:50] no,

[35:51] no,

[35:51] it's a kind of a loose sort of,

[35:53] uh,

[35:53] interpretation.

[35:53] And then,

Elliott Kalan

[35:54] and then you want that same pun to be used for an unrelated television show on the short

[35:57] lived vice channel.

[35:58] So that screw up Google searches forever from that point on for history.

[36:02] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[36:03] Uh,

[36:04] but yeah,

[36:04] no,

[36:04] he's looking,

[36:05] she's looking for Brian Tyree Henry and she brings her friend.

[36:10] Who's the actor who plays her friend?

[36:11] Oh,

[36:12] he's great.

S4

[36:12] He's the kid from the hunt for the wilder people.

[36:16] Then,

[36:16] I mean,

[36:17] I got more excited about him showing up than I did about Godzilla Kong or anybody else.

[36:21] It's like,

[36:21] it's Ricky Baker.

Elliott Kalan

[36:24] That's that.

[36:25] That's.

[36:25] And he's an,

[36:25] he is another one who's like,

[36:27] he's given very little to do in the movie,

[36:29] which is just disappointing.

[36:31] And it's to the point where I was like,

[36:32] why is he in the movie?

[36:34] Cause I guess he's supposed to be her comic relief friend,

[36:36] but Brian Tyree Henry is the comic relief in all these scenes.

[36:39] So in the end,

[36:40] when his,

[36:40] the fact that later on in the near the end of the movie,

[36:43] he's like,

[36:43] I'm a hacker,

[36:44] I'll fix this problem.

[36:45] And doesn't fix it.

[36:47] so why is he there?

[36:48] It's,

[36:48] but he's,

Stuart Wellington

[36:48] but I wanted to see him do more.

[36:50] Cause he's a great emotional sport.

[36:51] And speaking of making a meal out of a small role while they're tracking down this,

[36:56] uh,

[36:57] this conspiracy theory guy,

[36:58] they get some help from a local,

[37:00] like grocery store clerk played by friend of the podcast,

[37:04] Ronnie Chang.

[37:05] Oh man,

[37:07] he's so fun.

Dan McCoy

[37:08] I said he,

[37:10] I sent him a,

[37:11] a screenshot.

[37:12] Like he said something like,

[37:14] uh,

[37:15] it was something about like,

[37:16] uh,

[37:17] you two kids or something.

[37:18] I just sent him a thing,

[37:19] thing that he was creepy.

[37:20] Uh,

[37:21] and he sent me a thumbs up.

[37:22] So that's,

[37:23] uh,

Stuart Wellington

[37:23] cool behind the scenes message received message received.

Dan McCoy

[37:27] Um,

[37:27] so,

[37:28] uh,

[37:30] we watched,

[37:30] we watched this movie guys.

[37:32] Uh,

[37:32] anyway,

[37:33] Matt said,

[37:34] I did,

[37:34] I did twice.

[37:35] Yeah.

[37:35] Wow.

Elliott Kalan

[37:36] So do you want me to,

[37:36] do you want me to lay out the plan that the,

[37:38] that the,

[37:38] that our hero scientist plus bad guy has?

Dan McCoy

[37:41] They want to get Kong to help them go through the hollow earth.

Elliott Kalan

[37:46] He's going to lead them into the hollow earth because Kong,

[37:49] as with all Titans is full of this energy that calls to itself.

[37:52] And it's a,

[37:54] it's one of these things where they're like,

[37:56] Kong will be drawn naturally to the point where we need him to go,

[37:59] except he isn't,

[38:00] they've got to transport him the whole way.

[38:02] And once he goes in the tunnel,

[38:03] it's just a straight line right into the hollow work.

[38:05] They really need him there.

[38:06] And he even like slips a little bit.

[38:07] Yeah.

[38:08] Like crashes into the sides of the tunnel.

[38:11] Yeah.

[38:11] It's,

[38:12] uh,

[38:12] but they have to,

[38:13] they're going to have,

[38:14] it's Rebecca Hall is like,

[38:16] Hey,

[38:17] this is the secret facility that we keep Kong so that he'll be safe.

[38:20] And you are telling me basically you want to like borrow Kong so that this evil company that is clearly evil can find some energy cubes in the middle of the earth.

[38:28] And based on this theory that you have,

[38:29] and he goes,

[38:30] yes.

[38:30] And she's like,

[38:31] sign me the fuck up.

[38:32] Let's bring it.

Stuart Wellington

[38:33] Let's throw Kong in that hole.

[38:35] To give the movie credit.

[38:36] They don't waste a bunch of time,

[38:37] like showing us how they get Kong onto the boat.

[38:40] He's just on the boat.

[38:41] Like,

[38:41] thank God.

S4

[38:42] I found that to be a disappointment.

[38:44] I wanted to see them drug Kong.

[38:46] And drag them onto this boat and then figure out how to put them on a net and get them with it.

[38:50] It's there with helicopters.

[38:51] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[38:51] it's so funny if they're like,

[38:52] if she's like,

[38:53] you can't use Kong for this.

[38:54] And he's like,

[38:54] well,

[38:54] we already have an aircraft carrier with huge chains attached to it.

[38:57] So like,

[38:58] can you,

[38:59] the outlay,

[38:59] can we,

[39:00] can you just make this happen?

[39:02] That's coming out of my paycheck.

[39:04] If we can't get Kong.

[39:05] We,

[39:05] I,

[39:06] you wanted more Kong logistics is what you're saying.

[39:08] Well,

[39:09] I,

S4

[39:09] I wanted them to explain why they were doing any of this stuff because it just,

[39:13] everything was like,

[39:15] um,

[39:15] and this is what we're doing.

[39:16] Oh,

[39:17] why are you bringing your daughter along?

[39:18] Like,

[39:20] as soon as she showed up,

Elliott Kalan

[39:21] I was like,

[39:22] what,

[39:22] what?

[39:23] But it's similar in Godzilla King of the monsters.

[39:25] They're at a secret facility where they deal with monsters.

[39:28] And Vera Farmiga has brought her daughter along to hang out with her.

[39:30] It's like every,

[39:31] every monarch and apex,

[39:33] it's all bring your daughter to work day every day when you're dealing with Titans,

[39:35] you know?

S4

[39:36] Well,

[39:36] and I just,

[39:37] yeah.

[39:37] And I mean,

[39:38] this movie in particular was like,

[39:39] somebody put a leash on this girl.

[39:41] She is,

[39:42] I mean,

[39:42] she clearly knows what she's doing,

[39:44] but she's going to get stepped on.

Elliott Kalan

[39:45] Yeah.

[39:46] Now,

[39:46] just,

[39:46] just for the,

[39:47] I want to say Xander speaks only for himself and not for the podcast when he advocates putting

[39:50] leashes on girls.

[39:50] That's not something that,

[39:52] that,

[39:52] not something that I advocate certainly,

[39:54] but,

[39:54] uh,

S4

[39:54] speaking as somebody who had a toddler or a seven year old or whatever,

[39:58] it's like,

[39:58] I wanted a leash on that kid.

[40:00] Like,

[40:00] don't wander into traffic.

Elliott Kalan

[40:02] I'm serious.

[40:02] It is true that it's weird that they have,

[40:04] she just has full,

[40:06] it's,

[40:06] I mean,

[40:06] and the movie Meg is like this too.

[40:08] There's a top secret facility in a dangerous place and a kid just has free reign to just

[40:12] wander,

[40:12] which I guess is the ultimate,

[40:14] the ultimate fantasy when you're like a nerdy kid is like to have free range all over a

[40:18] monster facility,

[40:19] but yeah.

Dan McCoy

[40:21] So they're on the boat with Kong,

[40:24] a sedated and restrained Kong and Godzilla is like,

[40:27] almost as if you're quoting the Wikipedia summary that I have right in front of me.

[40:30] Shush,

[40:31] shush,

[40:31] shush.

[40:33] I mean,

[40:34] look,

[40:34] if one of you wants to,

[40:35] like,

[40:35] it's clear that I'm the most confused one and yet.

[40:40] You're doing great.

[40:41] This part is easy to find out.

[40:42] I think you're doing amazing.

Elliott Kalan

[40:43] They've got a sedated and restrained Kong and what happens?

[40:45] You've got a titanic task and you're making a meal of it.

Dan McCoy

[40:48] Godzilla comes and attacks and I was sort of unclear as to why.

[40:53] Is there a reason why Godzilla is attacking this boat?

Elliott Kalan

[40:57] Can't have two alphas,

[40:58] baby.

[40:59] Can't have two alphas.

[40:59] Exactly.

[41:00] Only one of them can be the apex predator.

[41:02] Everyone else has bent the knee to Godzilla.

[41:04] But as Rebecca Hall mentioned,

[41:05] Kong bows to no one.

[41:07] So Godzilla's got to force Kong to bow to him.

[41:10] And he's just been itching for that.

[41:12] Godzilla's just had a King Kong shaped hole in his heart and he's been itching to fill it.

[41:16] And now finally he can detect that bioenergy.

Dan McCoy

[41:19] I didn't,

[41:20] I was like,

[41:21] uh,

[41:22] I can see the whole layout of this.

[41:24] Like at this moment,

[41:26] I'm like,

[41:27] cause we,

[41:27] you know,

[41:28] part of the reason why I don't,

[41:30] um,

[41:31] I don't remember as much to pull the curtain back is I watched this with friends.

[41:36] It was originally not,

[41:37] uh,

[41:37] going to be for the flop house.

[41:38] I watched it for friends.

[41:39] We were chatting and like at this point,

[41:42] uh,

[41:43] you know,

[41:44] in like the text chat,

[41:45] I was like,

[41:46] Oh,

[41:46] you know,

[41:47] this is,

[41:47] they're going to fight each other.

[41:50] Like,

[41:51] but then it's going to be revealed.

[41:52] Like,

[41:52] obviously this company,

[41:54] you know,

[41:54] wants this technology for something bad and they're going to come together and they're going to like attack the worst thing.

[42:02] Like there's good,

[42:02] like it's always in these versus things like,

[42:05] okay,

[42:05] well how can we do this?

[42:06] Uh,

[42:07] every,

[42:07] like these two people have their fans.

[42:09] So we need to have them ultimately team up against the true villain of the movie.

[42:14] And,

[42:15] you know,

[42:15] I'm not fucking giving myself all that much credit that to say,

[42:19] yes,

[42:20] that's what happens in the film.

[42:22] Um,

[42:22] but it just seems like such rote,

[42:25] like,

[42:26] okay,

[42:26] uh,

[42:27] I guess now that he's in the water,

[42:29] that's where Godzilla lives.

[42:31] They're going to fight a little bit now before the big fight later on.

Elliott Kalan

[42:34] So you're saying you wanted less Godzilla Kong fighting in your Godzilla versus Kong.

Dan McCoy

[42:38] I wanted more Godzilla Kong fighting.

[42:39] They just don't need to like explain it so much.

[42:42] Like I kept thinking about the,

[42:43] that like Barton Fink thing.

[42:45] it's a wrestling picture.

[42:46] What do I got to draw you a map?

[42:48] Like this is a like monkey,

[42:50] uh,

[42:51] uh,

[42:51] this is an ape lizard wrestling picture that we were watching.

[42:56] We do not need all this shit that is clogging it up.

Elliott Kalan

[43:01] The microcosm of that is in the opening credits,

[43:03] there's all these like images and diagrams and,

[43:06] and scientific findings.

[43:07] And they show all these anatomical drawings of like what Kong skeleton would be like.

[43:11] And I just wanted them to have a piece of paper that said,

[43:13] like a gorilla,

[43:14] but bigger.

[43:16] Like you don't need,

[43:17] yeah,

[43:17] you don't need to fill in all this junk.

[43:19] Like it's,

[43:19] it's a big gorilla and a,

[43:21] and a radioactive dinosaur.

[43:22] Yeah.

[43:23] Uh,

[43:23] I thought you were going to point out that,

Stuart Wellington

[43:25] that the,

[43:26] in,

[43:26] in the opening credits,

[43:27] they have like,

[43:28] they keep pairing off Godzilla with different monsters from the past movies.

[43:31] And each time they're like,

[43:32] they have a big stamp on them and they're like defeated.

[43:35] Defeated.

[43:36] And you see Godzilla going up in the rankings and you're like,

[43:38] holy shit,

[43:39] Godzilla is going to do it.

[43:40] And then it pairs them off with Kong and you're like,

[43:42] Oh,

[43:43] that's the movie we're about to watch,

[43:44] which I feel like is,

[43:45] is what you just want.

[43:46] You want to see the title bout.

[43:47] You don't want to see the undercards.

S4

[43:49] Well,

[43:49] and I think too,

[43:50] like you want to see,

[43:51] you want to see,

[43:51] okay,

[43:51] well,

[43:51] what would it look like if Godzilla fights Kong on seven boats or whatever it is?

[43:56] And then what would it be like if Godzilla fights Kong in Hong Kong?

[43:59] I actually kind of wanted like four more,

[44:01] you know,

[44:02] like what,

[44:02] what if he fought him in hollow earth?

[44:03] What do we fought him in the,

[44:05] you know?

[44:05] Yeah.

[44:05] And I just,

[44:06] what about on a plane?

Elliott Kalan

[44:07] What about on a plane?

[44:08] Yeah,

[44:09] exactly.

[44:09] What about on a goat?

[44:10] What about with a boat?

[44:11] Yeah.

[44:11] I mean,

[44:11] they did do with a boat,

Stuart Wellington

[44:12] I guess.

[44:13] After you beat the main game,

[44:14] you unlock additional levels to battle it.

[44:16] Well,

Elliott Kalan

[44:16] they had to show them fighting each on their home turf,

[44:19] Godzilla,

[44:19] the ocean and Hong Kong being Kong's home turf.

[44:22] It's named after him,

[44:23] you know,

[44:23] because his family settled it all those years ago,

[44:26] but he's,

[44:27] that's why he's,

[44:28] he goes there.

[44:28] Cause he's like,

[44:29] I got to,

[44:29] I just have a hankering for my mom's home cooking.

Dan McCoy

[44:33] So there's a fight.

[44:35] The,

[44:35] the ships disable their power to pretend that they're like out of

[44:38] commission.

[44:39] After Godzilla totally smacks Kong around.

[44:42] Yeah.

[44:42] And then they,

Stuart Wellington

[44:43] I think it's a fun fight.

[44:45] Like I think it's fine.

[44:46] Whatever.

[44:46] They're like beating the shit out of each other.

S4

[44:48] It's all right.

[44:48] I liked that Kong was jumping from boat to boat.

[44:50] I thought that was kind of a cool move.

[44:52] Yeah.

[44:52] That the,

[44:53] the wide shot that they showed in all the trailers of like Kong,

[44:56] like just giving a roundhouse punch to,

[44:58] to,

[44:59] to Godzilla's face.

[45:00] I was like,

[45:00] that was what sold me on the movie where people were talking about it.

[45:03] I'm like,

[45:03] yeah,

[45:04] you know,

[45:04] I'll probably see it.

[45:04] But then when he punched him right in the face in this wide shot,

[45:07] I'm like,

[45:07] okay,

[45:08] yeah,

[45:08] that,

[45:09] that tingled my brainstem somewhat.

[45:11] And I'm like,

[45:12] I gotta do this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[45:13] I think they,

[45:13] and then he's like John McClane's off the,

[45:15] off the exploding aircraft carrier while Godzilla's nuclear breath almost roasts him.

Elliott Kalan

[45:21] It's great.

[45:22] Well,

[45:22] they,

[45:22] they do.

[45:23] I wish they didn't do,

[45:24] this falls into what we're talking about,

[45:25] like over explaining everything.

[45:26] They do a lot to make sure we know that Kong is at a disadvantage here.

[45:30] First,

[45:30] Godzilla's attacking him before he,

[45:32] and he's all chained up.

[45:33] Then they're falling into the water.

[45:34] And it feels like the movie was really going a long way towards making sure,

[45:39] as Dan said,

[45:39] that like the,

[45:40] the Godzilla and Kong partisans were not offended,

[45:43] you know,

[45:43] at any point.

Dan McCoy

[45:44] And it reminded me of the,

[45:46] I wonder if we're going to say the same thing,

[45:48] the,

[45:48] like that article about the Fast and the Furious movies.

[45:51] No,

[45:51] no.

[45:51] They were,

Elliott Kalan

[45:52] they were counting how many punches.

[45:55] Because Jason Statham and it was the rock could not,

[45:58] one of them couldn't have more punches than the other.

[46:00] But the,

[46:01] it,

[46:01] but it,

[46:01] it made me think of like the original God,

[46:03] King Kong versus Godzilla.

[46:05] Like King Kong just wins basically in that movie.

[46:08] Right.

[46:08] Like it's implied anyway.

[46:10] Yeah.

[46:11] Well,

[46:11] he had electrical powers.

[46:12] That's right.

[46:13] He did get those electrical powers.

[46:14] That's true.

[46:14] But like,

[46:15] it's,

[46:16] it's funny how,

[46:16] uh,

[46:17] there's this,

[46:18] this series kind of takes it for granted that King Kong and Godzilla have to exist in the same universe and have to fight at some point.

[46:26] When it happened once before,

[46:28] like the Godzilla has had so many adventures.

[46:31] It's like,

[46:31] if,

[46:31] um,

[46:32] like,

[46:33] like,

[46:33] like there's so,

[46:35] there's so much more to Godzilla story,

[46:37] but it's a little bit,

[46:38] but it's a little bit like,

[46:39] there's fights.

[46:40] Oh no,

[46:40] no.

[46:41] Yeah.

[46:41] I mean,

[46:41] there's love,

[46:42] there's loss.

[46:43] No,

[46:43] but Godzilla's had so many adventures with other monsters and it's,

[46:46] there's a little,

[46:47] it's something you got to imagine.

[46:48] Godzilla is talking to his agent about this series and he's like,

[46:50] Kong.

[46:52] Like,

[46:52] yeah,

[46:53] I worked with him once.

[46:54] Like,

[46:54] I don't understand.

[46:55] Why do people think that we have a thing together?

[46:57] Like,

[46:57] I don't get it.

[46:58] Like that was one time,

[47:00] you know?

[47:02] Yeah.

[47:03] Yeah.

[47:03] Well,

[47:03] that's Hollywood for you.

[47:05] Um,

[47:05] like if they,

[47:06] if they're like,

[47:06] if,

[47:07] if,

[47:07] if they're like,

[47:08] uh,

[47:09] they're like Hulk,

[47:10] Hulk Hogan's coming back for the Hulk Hogan universe.

[47:12] We got to have Lou Albano in there.

[47:14] Of course.

[47:15] Why?

[47:15] I don't understand.

[47:15] What is it?

[47:16] Is there some mystical connection between the two of them?

[47:18] Like,

[47:18] I don't,

[47:19] uh,

[47:19] but anyway,

[47:20] that's,

[47:21] uh,

[47:21] anyway,

[47:21] they,

[47:22] they're not going to the,

Dan McCoy

[47:23] the entrance to the hollow earth.

[47:26] Oh boy,

[47:27] this movie.

[47:27] Okay.

[47:28] And,

[47:28] uh,

[47:29] so meanwhile,

[47:30] Madison and Josh have located the podcaster.

[47:33] Uh,

[47:34] and,

[47:35] uh,

[47:35] they're all,

[47:36] they all sneak into this apex space and find a secret facility,

[47:41] uh,

[47:42] take a monorail to Hong Kong.

Stuart Wellington

[47:47] And,

[47:47] uh,

[47:48] no,

[47:48] you're,

[47:49] it's not just a regular monorail though.

[47:51] It's like,

[47:51] uh,

[47:51] they go take an elevator deep into the earth and then they take this futuristic monorail

[47:56] thing.

[47:57] With zero rails.

[47:58] It's a zero rails.

[47:59] Zero rails.

[47:59] It's just a,

[48:00] it's a,

Elliott Kalan

[48:00] yeah.

[48:02] It's,

[48:02] it's what Elon Musk has been promising us with the hyperloop,

[48:04] but even though it just turns out to be a tunnel,

[48:06] you can drive your car through in real life.

[48:08] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[48:08] And it takes them from what?

[48:10] Sarasota.

[48:10] Where are they at?

[48:11] Tallahassee?

[48:11] Pensacola.

[48:12] Pensacola.

[48:13] Pensacola.

[48:13] And then the worst soda.

[48:15] That was the joke I made earlier.

[48:16] Pensacola.

[48:17] And it rockets them,

[48:19] uh,

[48:19] along with some eggs of some skull crawlers or something,

Elliott Kalan

[48:24] which as you may remember from Kong skull Island,

[48:26] those are the big bad guys.

[48:27] And those,

[48:28] the skull crawlers that come from the hollow earth and are loosely based on a

[48:32] lizard.

[48:32] We see for 10 seconds in the original King Kong.

Stuart Wellington

[48:35] So it's important,

[48:36] but it's important that we know that they're like,

[48:39] why would they be transporting skull crawlers in this really futuristic train?

[48:43] Oh,

[48:43] I guess we'll find out when they get to Hong Kong,

[48:45] which we will when they get to Hong Kong.

S4

[48:47] Well,

[48:48] and why would they have them there as opposed to already being like they were

[48:50] from skull Island,

[48:51] which has got to be closer to Hong Kong.

Elliott Kalan

[48:53] It really makes you wonder why apex doesn't have one facility where they've

[48:57] been dealing with all this since they also apex in Pensacola is where

[49:01] they were building this,

[49:02] what turns out to be a giant eye basically.

[49:04] But the rest of the thing is in Hong Kong.

[49:06] So,

[49:06] and it has the eye with it.

[49:08] So I don't know what logistics,

Stuart Wellington

[49:09] dude.

[49:10] I mean,

[49:10] it's complicated.

[49:11] It's like,

Elliott Kalan

[49:12] the only way this makes any sense is if apex is related to Congress and

[49:15] Congress is like,

[49:16] we got to get contracts for all these States,

[49:18] got to bring jobs to all these different States.

[49:20] That's why the,

[49:21] that's why the big anti Godzilla weapon,

[49:23] part of it's being built in Oklahoma,

[49:24] part of it's being built in Florida,

[49:26] part of it's being built in New Jersey,

[49:28] part of it's being built in Oregon.

[49:29] We got to,

[49:29] got to get those jobs there.

[49:30] It's because it's more efficient.

[49:32] I could be wrong about this.

[49:33] I think it's probably more efficient to build a thing,

[49:34] in one place.

[49:36] Wow.

[49:36] I'm not a supply chain expert.

[49:38] My dad is.

[49:39] I'm not,

[49:40] I'll ask him about it,

[49:41] but.

Dan McCoy

[49:42] Well,

[49:43] anyway,

[49:43] they,

[49:43] they discover,

[49:45] basically what they discover in Hong Kong is they're making a

[49:47] Mechagodzilla.

[49:48] Of course,

[49:48] what else would they be doing?

[49:51] And the,

[49:53] I,

[49:53] I don't even know.

[49:54] It's telepathically controlled by one of the dudes.

[49:57] I'm not really sure.

[49:58] So Dr.

Elliott Kalan

[49:59] Serizawa,

[50:00] what he does is he gets into the severed head of Ghidorah,

[50:02] the skull of Ghidorah that was bought by Charles Dance at the end of

[50:05] Godzillaking the Monsters.

[50:07] We can only imagine what,

[50:08] what,

[50:08] what amazing adventure led to eco-terrorist Charles Dance giving the skull to

[50:13] corporate,

[50:14] corporate bad guy.

[50:16] what's his name again from,

[50:17] from Apex,

[50:18] but the.

[50:19] Walter Simons or something?

[50:21] Simmons.

[50:21] Simmons,

[50:21] yeah.

[50:22] Walter Simmons,

[50:23] the incredibly memorable character name of Walter Simmons.

[50:26] And the,

[50:27] so Dr.

[50:28] Serizawa gets into this giant skull and like places one of those helmets that

[50:32] doesn't touch your head,

[50:32] but creates kind of like a,

[50:34] a,

[50:34] a Dyson air ring fan around your head.

[50:38] And he controls Mechagodzilla telepathically that way,

[50:41] but because he's controlling it through a King Ghidorah skull,

[50:45] it's,

[50:46] it's pretty clear that this thing has some Ghidorah in it,

[50:49] which is not good because that monster was a bad guy.

[50:52] You can tell he's a bad guy again,

[50:54] because he's not from here.

[50:55] He's a foreign monster.

[50:56] As opposed to Mechagodzilla,

Stuart Wellington

[50:57] you know,

[50:58] Mechagodzilla is bad because his laser beams are red instead of blue,

[51:01] which is Godzilla's color.

[51:03] Cause Godzilla is a good guy.

Dan McCoy

[51:04] So basically to sum up,

[51:06] they,

[51:07] they need King Kong to go into the hollow earth to get a power source they can

[51:14] use for a Mechagodzilla that is telepathically controlled through the skull of Ghidorah.

[51:22] Which,

[51:22] it sounds so much more fun than it is.

[51:24] It sounds so much more fun that,

[51:26] just by the way,

[51:26] but they don't even need the power source.

Stuart Wellington

[51:28] They just need to do a scan of it.

[51:30] And then they,

[51:31] uh,

[51:31] trans transmit the data through,

[51:34] I guess the best fucking wifi connection I've ever heard of.

[51:37] That's the surface of the earth.

S4

[51:40] Yeah.

[51:41] So,

[51:41] yeah.

[51:41] And I want to,

[51:42] I want to say something too about this,

[51:43] uh,

[51:43] Maya Simmons,

[51:44] who the,

[51:45] no one even like,

[51:46] they,

[51:46] it isn't even worth mentioning.

[51:48] Oh,

[51:48] right.

[51:48] His daughter who's,

Elliott Kalan

[51:49] who's overseeing the,

[51:50] the,

[51:50] she's his man on the ground,

[51:51] you know,

[51:52] about who's the,

S4

[51:52] who's the least diplomatic person in this whole movie where she just is like,

[51:56] Oh,

[51:56] there's the tiny sample that we want to take.

[51:59] And people are like,

[52:00] Hey,

[52:00] wait a minute.

[52:00] And it's just all of a sudden these,

[52:02] these soldiers pull guns on it.

[52:04] Notably the little girl.

[52:06] Yep.

[52:06] And,

[52:07] and everybody else.

[52:08] And they're like,

[52:08] we're taking this away.

[52:10] chill out.

[52:11] I'm sure everybody can like agree that like,

[52:13] if you find a little thing of,

[52:15] you know,

[52:15] magic energy on the ground,

[52:16] you can have it.

[52:17] Like it's fine.

[52:18] Nobody else is here.

Stuart Wellington

[52:19] It's all over the place in here.

Elliott Kalan

[52:21] Yeah.

[52:21] It's,

[52:21] it's everywhere.

[52:22] So we should,

[52:23] we should mention,

[52:24] uh,

[52:24] up to the,

[52:24] before,

[52:24] before the guns get pulled,

[52:26] uh,

[52:26] there's,

[52:27] they get into that hollow earth.

[52:28] Uh,

[52:28] they convinced Kong to go in because Rebecca Hall has convinced the little girl who has revealed that she can speak sign language with Kong.

[52:35] She's taught him sign language that maybe his home is in there.

[52:38] Leads him to the hollow earth gravity inversion.

[52:41] Luckily they're in the heaves,

[52:42] which are these kind of like super armored battle toad little cruisers that they,

[52:48] that they're in.

[52:48] And there's a lot of,

[52:50] ah,

[52:50] as the camera shakes,

[52:52] as they're dealing with all the G forces.

[52:54] And as someone made clear on Twitter,

[52:56] it seems very heavily influenced by the back to the future ride that used to be at universal studios.

[53:00] Uh,

[53:01] and there's a,

[53:03] they,

[53:03] Kong jumps around in this hollow earth world for a long time.

[53:07] Yeah.

[53:08] And there's no other gorillas there.

[53:10] He's got to be disappointed.

[53:11] There's no other gorillas.

[53:12] They're in the middle of the earth.

[53:13] It's like a really cool album cover.

[53:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[53:15] You got this kind of neutral gravity thing going on.

[53:17] So it's like floating around,

[53:19] like floating through some glowing stones.

[53:21] I guess those glowing stones are why this inside area appears to have a sun,

[53:26] even though we're inside.

[53:27] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[53:27] It has a sun and weather,

[53:29] uh,

[53:29] even though we're,

Dan McCoy

[53:30] yeah,

[53:30] we're in the center of the earth.

Stuart Wellington

[53:31] And it's got a bunch of fucking quetzalcoatls that King Kong has to battle.

[53:35] And he like rips off one of their heads and he eats the insides.

[53:38] It's great.

[53:39] And I'm complaining a lot about it.

Elliott Kalan

[53:41] This is a foreshadowing in that,

[53:42] you know now that Kong's big move is to rip off a head and then drink whatever drips out of the bottom of it.

[53:47] Yeah.

[53:48] Which maybe we'll see him do later.

Dan McCoy

[53:50] And this movie,

[53:51] like,

[53:52] I,

[53:52] I'm complaining a lot about this movie.

[53:54] If this movie had gotten to like something as weird as this hollow earth sequence faster with less exposition,

[54:00] I would love it.

[54:02] Like it is,

[54:03] it is a truly strange sequence to be in the middle of this blockbuster.

[54:08] They go to,

Elliott Kalan

[54:09] I mean,

[54:09] it only gets weirder when Kong leads them to like a hidden temple where he finds a magic energy axe that he uses.

[54:16] He plants into the ground and it unlocks like a throne room.

[54:19] It's,

[54:20] there's,

[54:20] there's so much,

[54:21] it like,

[54:22] it gets so,

[54:22] it gets so like 70s pulp,

[54:26] like Conan the Barbarian monster nonsense stuff.

[54:29] And it's,

[54:30] if this movie,

[54:31] if they went to the hollow earth real early in this movie and they cut out all the conspiracy podcaster stuff and they cut out a lot of the other,

[54:38] above ground stuff.

[54:39] And it was just like,

[54:40] like I wanted to see Godzilla show up in this hollow earth and then have,

[54:43] especially because as we find out later,

[54:44] he can burrow into it with his flame within seconds from the surface of the,

[54:47] of the,

[54:47] of the earth.

[54:48] But,

[54:48] uh,

[54:49] I like,

[54:50] it feels like the movie is briefly leaning into the weirdness and strangeness of a world where there's a giant gorilla and a giant radioactive dinosaur.

[54:57] And then the world,

[54:58] then the movie is like,

[54:59] that was a fun little tangent.

[55:01] Okay.

[55:01] Back to,

[55:02] back to the place where it's a lot of evil corporations and like,

[55:06] uh,

[55:06] which is not as interesting to me,

[55:07] but anyway.

S4

[55:08] Yeah.

[55:09] I mean,

[55:09] I think that's a lot of it is the difference between what's on,

[55:11] like,

[55:11] what's in the screenplay where you're like,

[55:13] well,

[55:13] and then they go to hollow earth,

[55:14] which,

[55:15] you know,

[55:15] on a screenplay doesn't look that interesting,

[55:17] but then when you realize,

[55:18] oh,

[55:18] that's going to be the most visually interesting part of the whole movie.

[55:21] Yeah.

[55:21] Maybe that should take up a larger share of it or have more importance.

Elliott Kalan

[55:26] Uh,

[55:27] how did you guys feel about the revelation that Kong comes from,

[55:30] I guess,

[55:30] a race of beings that is developed enough to create axes that harness energy from the center of the earth for ultra strength?

Stuart Wellington

[55:38] I mean,

[55:38] that,

[55:38] that ax looks like it was made out of a bone and a Godzilla scale.

[55:43] So I don't,

[55:43] it's not that complicated.

Elliott Kalan

[55:45] I don't know how I feel about King Kong being able to use,

[55:47] construct basic tools.

[55:48] I don't know why.

[55:49] I just bump against it.

[55:50] I mean,

[55:51] don't,

Dan McCoy

[55:51] don't,

[55:52] but,

[55:52] but great apes do that,

[55:54] right?

[55:54] They construct basic tools.

[55:55] I mean,

[55:55] great apes do sometimes.

[55:57] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[55:57] Great apes do a lot.

[55:58] Yeah.

[55:58] Well,

[55:58] great apes wear hats too and stuff like that and jack us,

S4

[56:01] you know?

[56:02] It's,

[56:02] it's funny because it's like at a certain point I get to the,

[56:04] this thing where they're like,

[56:05] and this bit of lore is,

[56:07] you know,

[56:08] is true about,

[56:08] about Kong,

[56:09] this 90 year old character.

[56:13] you know,

Dan McCoy

[56:15] I didn't need the receipts guys.

[56:17] Yeah.

[56:17] I mean like in a vacuum,

[56:19] I think of giant ape with a,

[56:22] with a big ax is great.

[56:24] I'm all for it.

[56:25] Yeah.

[56:26] In the context of this movie.

[56:27] Yeah.

[56:29] I'm not sure.

Elliott Kalan

[56:29] I guess it is funny.

[56:30] The idea that Kong,

[56:31] the idea I shouldn't be,

[56:33] that I shouldn't be beholden to the idea that Kong has any sort of

[56:35] continuity that this is contradicting.

[56:37] Cause again,

[56:37] like Godzilla continuity,

[56:39] continuity.

[56:39] Thank you.

[56:41] Godzilla has 50 years of adventures.

[56:42] And for a lot of that time,

[56:44] there was some loose continuity between,

[56:45] you know,

[56:46] the different Toho movies,

[56:48] but Kong is like,

[56:49] he was in one movie in 1933.

[56:51] Then he's in another movie in the late seventies.

[56:53] Then he's in another movie in like 2005.

[56:56] That's until Kong skull Island.

[56:58] That's pretty,

[56:58] and there's Kong lives,

[56:59] but like,

[56:59] that's,

[56:59] let's not talk about that one.

[57:01] And King Kong escapes.

[57:02] And King escapes and Godzilla versus Kong.

[57:03] So like there's the Toho Kong,

[57:05] like King Kong,

[57:05] I guess he's all things to all people.

[57:07] It's not like there's this grand tapestry of Kong continuity or

[57:10] continuity,

S4

[57:10] as you said.

[57:11] and even,

[57:12] even in the,

[57:12] uh,

[57:12] the original Kong,

[57:13] it's like he was,

[57:15] because of the things that he was next to,

[57:17] it's like,

[57:18] he was like different,

[57:20] all different heights during the movie.

[57:21] You know,

[57:21] like he's,

[57:22] you know,

[57:22] he's like a hundred feet tall and then he's 30 feet tall,

[57:24] depending on what they had,

[57:26] you know,

[57:26] the other,

[57:26] uh,

[57:27] like props they had for him to be next to.

[57:30] Yeah.

[57:30] So I mean,

[57:31] I feel like that situation.

Stuart Wellington

[57:32] And it feels like they're kind of playing loosey goosey with size,

[57:35] for this movie as well.

[57:36] Right.

[57:37] Like Kong is much smaller than Godzilla.

[57:39] Right.

Elliott Kalan

[57:40] Yeah.

[57:40] But not as much smaller as he,

[57:42] as he was in the old movies,

[57:43] you know,

[57:44] like this is a Kong.

[57:45] They wallpapered it a little bit in Skull Island where they're like,

[57:47] he's not done growing.

[57:48] Yeah,

[57:48] that's true.

[57:49] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[57:49] Cause the,

[57:49] cause this is Kong 40 years,

[57:51] 50 years almost after we saw him in Skull Island.

[57:53] So he's a little grayer.

[57:54] He's a little,

[57:55] he's a little tireder.

[57:56] Uh,

[57:57] he's always talking about how gorillas now don't do it the way they used to,

[58:00] you know,

[58:00] in his day,

[58:01] uh,

[58:01] back when,

[58:02] when things were really cool.

[58:03] But okay,

[58:04] so they go into this.

[58:05] Yeah.

[58:05] They've got the,

Dan McCoy

[58:05] they've got the power source info now.

[58:07] The power source info is transmitted.

[58:10] So Mechagodzilla can,

[58:12] you know,

[58:12] gets a serious upgrade,

[58:14] you know,

[58:14] do his thing.

Elliott Kalan

[58:15] Um,

[58:16] and,

[58:16] and so they,

[58:16] they transfer the power source,

[58:18] which as Stuart said,

[58:19] they don't need to actually bring the energy source with them.

[58:22] They just have to scan it and then send that information to the surface of the earth by sat phone,

[58:27] even though they're inside the earth.

[58:28] Jesus Christ.

[58:29] I want that service.

[58:30] And they just download it and inject it into Mechagodzilla through the computers.

[58:33] is that how energy works?

[58:34] The energy is just information that you can,

[58:36] you can just read it into the thing.

[58:39] Like if you whispered into Mechagodzilla's ear.

Stuart Wellington

[58:41] Information is power.

[58:42] Yeah.

[58:42] Oh.

[58:43] So meanwhile,

[58:44] meanwhile,

[58:44] this is,

[58:45] this is calling Godzilla to Hong Kong,

[58:47] to the apex facility.

[58:49] He shows up,

[58:49] but then he finds out that Kong is in the center of the earth using his axe to draw power.

[58:54] So he rears up and he does one of his big old Godzilla blasts and he shoots it right down into the middle of the earth,

[59:00] which is awesome.

Elliott Kalan

[59:01] This is nuts that he is burrowing miles and miles into the,

[59:05] into the earth with one Godzilla blast.

[59:07] And it takes him very little time.

[59:09] if this was a powerful blast,

[59:11] Elliot,

[59:11] it is a powerful blast.

[59:12] It's a dentine ice style blast.

[59:13] Everything would freeze around it if it was dentine ice.

[59:15] And this is the point where I think if this movie had been just goofball,

[59:20] goofball,

[59:20] goofball all the way through,

[59:22] I would have been like,

[59:23] yes,

[59:23] definitely.

[59:24] But the first hour of the movie,

[59:27] they still feel like they're trying to take them seriously.

[59:29] And so I told,

[59:31] by this point,

[59:31] it's hard for me to buy that Godzilla can,

[59:33] can burrow,

[59:34] can bore a hole to the center of the earth that way.

[59:37] When,

[59:37] uh,

[59:37] but if earlier,

[59:38] if they'd shown me like Godzilla using his power to fly and stuff like that,

[59:42] I would have been like,

[59:42] okay,

[59:43] whatever,

[59:43] just,

[59:44] you can do it.

[59:45] And that level,

Stuart Wellington

[59:46] that level of hole drilling would obviously have horrible seismic reactions across the entire planet.

[59:52] Yeah.

[59:52] Possibly greatly affect the tides and shit,

[59:55] but don't worry about it.

Dan McCoy

[59:56] Don't worry about it.

[59:56] Billy Bob Thornton would then be like,

[59:59] oh,

[59:59] Godzilla is the greatest deep core driller,

[1:00:01] not Bruce Willis.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:03] Yeah.

[1:00:03] So we got to send Godzilla up to that asteroid.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:05] The greatest movie underdog story where you send a bunch of,

[1:00:09] a bunch of rig hounds up into outer space to take out an asteroid.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:13] Uh,

[1:00:14] the,

[1:00:14] I want to mention that up to this point also,

[1:00:16] uh,

[1:00:17] after the bad guys have threatened the good guys for stealing the energy source,

[1:00:21] even though everyone,

[1:00:22] it's like,

[1:00:23] we know you wanted the energy source.

[1:00:24] That's why we came here.

[1:00:25] So why are you threatening us to take it?

[1:00:27] Uh,

[1:00:28] they're all attacked by maybe the most hideous character design.

[1:00:31] I think monster design I've ever seen in a movie.

[1:00:32] These kind of like hairless bat bird creatures,

[1:00:36] but like vulture dactyls.

[1:00:38] They're so there's,

[1:00:39] and they're supposed to be hideously grotesque looking and they are.

[1:00:41] And I was like,

[1:00:42] movie,

[1:00:42] you did it.

[1:00:43] This is a,

[1:00:43] this is a being that I,

[1:00:45] that I find unpleasant to look at like viscerally,

[1:00:47] like shoot them all down,

[1:00:48] exterminate.

[1:00:49] Although the,

S4

[1:00:49] the people that I follow on social media all love that though,

[1:00:53] fat lizard that got about five seconds earlier on.

[1:00:55] Oh,

[1:00:56] he's great.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:57] I know.

[1:00:58] He's great.

[1:00:58] This is just,

[1:00:59] there's just this,

[1:00:59] there's just this cool,

[1:01:00] like laid back beach bum lizard that wanders into the frame for a moment and eat something.

[1:01:04] And it's almost one of those things where you're like,

[1:01:06] did they not know he was on camera when they were shooting this?

[1:01:09] It looks like he just peeked.

[1:01:10] It's clear the shot.

[1:01:11] The same way that in bridesmaids,

[1:01:13] uh,

[1:01:14] that,

[1:01:14] uh,

[1:01:14] Tim Heidecker just shows up in the backgrounds of shots.

[1:01:17] And you're like,

[1:01:18] cause he's playing the fiance,

[1:01:19] I guess,

[1:01:19] but you're like,

[1:01:20] he has no dialogues.

[1:01:21] So you're like,

[1:01:22] did they know he was in the movie?

[1:01:23] That's what this lizard feels like.

[1:01:24] He's just like,

[1:01:25] it's like a long running goof,

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:27] like a Joaquin Phoenix being crazy type goof.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:30] Yeah.

[1:01:30] And there's something about this lizard that you instantly see him and you're like,

[1:01:33] this lizard,

[1:01:34] he's got it all figured out.

[1:01:35] Like he doesn't get it.

[1:01:36] He doesn't get agitated.

[1:01:37] All these other guys are being upset,

[1:01:38] fighting over who's the alpha and the apex predator.

[1:01:40] And this lizard is like,

[1:01:42] man,

[1:01:42] there's enough for everybody.

[1:01:43] Like,

[1:01:43] let's just cool it.

[1:01:44] Let's have it.

S4

[1:01:44] I'm halfway down the list.

[1:01:45] I'm like a theta predator.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:46] Yeah.

[1:01:47] I'm like,

[1:01:47] I'm,

[1:01:48] and I'm happy about it.

[1:01:49] I'm in the center of the earth.

[1:01:50] I'm just chilling.

[1:01:50] I'm just cooling my heels.

[1:01:52] What a great lizard.

[1:01:53] If I would,

[1:01:53] I mean that we should all be as,

[1:01:55] as laid back as that lizard,

[1:01:56] you know,

[1:01:57] uh,

[1:01:57] the true hero of the film.

[1:01:58] Cause he doesn't get involved in the violence.

[1:02:00] Uh,

[1:02:01] but,

[1:02:01] uh,

[1:02:01] yeah.

[1:02:02] So Godzilla blasts that hole and then King Kong,

[1:02:05] what just jumps up through it.

[1:02:06] I forgot how he gets.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:07] He jumps down through it and then climbs out of it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:10] Oh,

[1:02:11] right.

[1:02:11] Oh,

[1:02:11] cause the gravity is all because of the gravity.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:14] So he and Godzilla have this,

[1:02:15] this big old battle in Hong Kong.

[1:02:17] I think the lighting is really cool.

[1:02:19] It's like,

[1:02:20] uh,

[1:02:20] there's a lot of blues and purples and it's great.

[1:02:24] Uh,

[1:02:24] and it's pretty tight.

[1:02:26] God's,

[1:02:26] uh,

[1:02:27] Kong is jumping off all kinds of crap.

[1:02:29] He's doing all these moves.

[1:02:30] He's flipping stuff around.

[1:02:31] He's using that ax of his to soak up that nuclear breath,

[1:02:35] which by the way,

[1:02:36] I gotta say,

[1:02:36] like,

[1:02:37] I would imagine if I had to shoot things like a shoot,

[1:02:40] a beam out of my mouth,

[1:02:42] you'd have to practice a lot to get good at aiming that thing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:46] Right?

[1:02:46] Probably.

[1:02:47] I mean,

[1:02:47] you see in son of Godzilla that Godzilla is teaching Minya how to

[1:02:50] bless those things.

[1:02:50] And he's always getting out is the smoke rings.

[1:02:52] It's difficult.

[1:02:53] You know,

[1:02:53] that sounds horrible.

[1:02:55] Now,

[1:02:55] do you think this now does Zack Snyder's justice league make more

[1:02:58] sense?

[1:02:58] If the ax that took out dark side with two chops so that he had to

[1:03:01] abandon his invasion of earth was this ax and it was powered up

[1:03:05] with Godzilla energy.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:06] Yeah.

[1:03:06] Godzilla's just off screen,

[1:03:07] just breathing into it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:09] Yeah.

[1:03:09] It's like,

[1:03:09] we all got to work together again.

[1:03:11] Dark side's not from here,

[1:03:12] which means he's bad.

[1:03:13] So we gotta,

[1:03:13] we gotta kick him off the earth.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:16] Yeah.

[1:03:17] So yeah,

[1:03:17] bless him with the ax.

[1:03:18] Very pretty fight scene.

[1:03:20] Again,

[1:03:21] if it'd come earlier in the movie,

[1:03:22] maybe I'd be a happier camper,

[1:03:25] but like,

[1:03:25] there's a lot of neon.

[1:03:27] There's a scene where like,

[1:03:28] like,

[1:03:29] you know,

[1:03:29] like they hit one of them into a building and it shatters.

[1:03:33] And because there's so much neon,

[1:03:34] it just looks like it was a glitter factory that they fell into.

[1:03:38] That was,

[1:03:38] you know,

[1:03:38] that's good stuff.

[1:03:40] But meanwhile,

[1:03:41] Mechagodzilla,

[1:03:41] oh boy,

[1:03:42] he's being activated.

[1:03:44] That's a bad plan,

[1:03:46] guys.

[1:03:46] That's true.

[1:03:47] Yep.

[1:03:47] I agree.

[1:03:48] You shouldn't let Mechagodzilla loose on the world.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:52] No,

[1:03:52] although this is all part of Walter Simmons plan.

[1:03:54] He says,

[1:03:54] now we will be the apex predator.

[1:03:56] And it's like,

[1:03:57] did you name your company after that?

[1:04:00] Like,

[1:04:00] that's silly,

[1:04:01] but okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:02] It was all building up to this speech.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:04] That was the cool thing.

[1:04:04] Well,

[1:04:05] that's the,

[1:04:05] and he has,

[1:04:06] they even make a joke about it.

[1:04:07] He has a real deep blue sea type moment.

[1:04:09] He's like,

[1:04:09] I've realized this.

[1:04:10] I had a dream once a dream that,

[1:04:12] huh?

[1:04:13] And then Sarazawa loses control of Mechagodzilla and it kills Simmons.

[1:04:16] And Tyree Henry goes,

[1:04:18] I wanted to hear the rest of that speech.

[1:04:19] And that was the one joke in the movie where I was like,

[1:04:21] okay,

[1:04:21] that was a funny joke.

[1:04:22] I like that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:23] Yeah.

[1:04:23] So in their fight,

[1:04:25] it looks Godzilla initially loses to Kong and then he turns it around.

[1:04:30] He does a lot.

[1:04:31] He starts using his teeth.

[1:04:32] I mean,

[1:04:32] that's the key.

[1:04:33] He starts biting a lot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:34] And I think he starts fighting like a lizard instead of like a boxer,

[1:04:38] you know,

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:38] that's true.

[1:04:39] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:39] He does what Daniel Tiger would say.

[1:04:40] You take a bad thing,

[1:04:41] you turn it around,

[1:04:42] make something good out of it.

[1:04:43] You know,

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:44] he's got those short arms.

[1:04:45] I mean,

[1:04:45] he's not going to beat calling in a boxing match.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:47] Kong's reach is great.

[1:04:48] His,

[1:04:48] his arms are longer than his legs.

[1:04:50] He's a gorilla.

[1:04:51] Like reach is his thing.

[1:04:52] So you want to jump on Kong's,

[1:04:53] back and start biting him with your teeth.

[1:04:55] Like that's what you want to do.

[1:04:56] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:57] And that's kind of what happens.

[1:04:57] They,

[1:04:58] they do a lot of biting and fighting and whatnot.

[1:05:00] And,

[1:05:01] uh,

[1:05:01] eventually it ends with Godzilla stomping on Kong's chest.

[1:05:05] They fight and fight and bite.

[1:05:06] Wait,

[1:05:06] sorry,

[1:05:06] you're saying,

[1:05:06] sir.

[1:05:07] Uh,

[1:05:07] Godzilla stomping on Kong's chest.

[1:05:09] I think he's dislocated Kong's shoulder at some point and he's stomping on his chest and they're yelling

[1:05:13] each other's faces,

[1:05:14] but it seems like Godzilla has won this round.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:18] I did like when they were roaring in each other's faces.

[1:05:20] That felt like they were real characters for a moment.

[1:05:22] Even though,

[1:05:22] again,

[1:05:22] it did mean another closeup of Godzilla's mean old man face.

[1:05:25] Oh,

[1:05:26] it always looks like Godzilla's just taking a sip of prune juice and he's like,

[1:05:29] Oh,

[1:05:30] get off my lawn.

[1:05:31] Uh huh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:32] Um,

[1:05:32] he's showing off how good the Shelbyville lemons are.

[1:05:36] Exactly.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:37] But Godzilla's all hurt.

[1:05:38] And then the little kid comes in to talk to Godzilla,

[1:05:41] right?

[1:05:42] Or sorry,

[1:05:42] Kong,

[1:05:43] Kong.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:44] I mean,

[1:05:44] it'd be amazing if she went in to talk to Godzilla and she's like,

[1:05:46] sorry,

[1:05:46] Kong,

[1:05:46] you're a loser.

[1:05:47] I'm getting on the right train.

[1:05:48] Hey,

[1:05:49] Godzilla,

[1:05:49] want to learn sign language?

[1:05:50] Join up with me.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:52] Do they like,

[1:05:52] they like,

[1:05:53] uh,

[1:05:54] electrify him,

[1:05:55] right?

[1:05:55] To revive him.

[1:05:56] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:56] They take the heave machine,

[1:05:58] the vehicle that they used before.

[1:06:00] They use that,

[1:06:01] the electricity from it to,

[1:06:02] jolt Kong's heart back to the world living.

[1:06:04] And then Kong bashes into a building to put it,

[1:06:07] to reset his dislocated shoulder.

S4

[1:06:09] Well,

[1:06:10] I would think that if that,

[1:06:11] if,

[1:06:12] if the jumping off of the ship to avoid the,

[1:06:14] the Godzilla beam was a diehard reference,

[1:06:17] this has got to be a lethal weapon reference.

[1:06:19] Yeah,

[1:06:19] for sure.

[1:06:20] He smashes his shoulder back into place or whatever.

[1:06:22] Yeah,

[1:06:22] I think so.

[1:06:23] I'm sure.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:24] And this is very,

[1:06:25] I think,

[1:06:25] isn't it at the end of Godzilla King of the Monsters that they have to like set off a bomb to power up Godzilla

[1:06:31] so that he has ultra atomic power.

[1:06:33] So like,

[1:06:34] this movie is even watching the last movie in the series.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:37] And that bomb,

[1:06:38] of course,

[1:06:38] is in a toilet.

[1:06:39] So that's another lethal weapon lift that they did.

[1:06:42] Yeah,

[1:06:42] yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:42] And Danny Glover is sitting on it.

[1:06:44] Yeah.

[1:06:44] When it's happening.

[1:06:45] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:45] yeah.

[1:06:45] the,

[1:06:45] so meanwhile,

[1:06:47] Mechagodzilla has shown up and you're like,

[1:06:49] oh man,

[1:06:50] Godzilla,

[1:06:50] he's going to stop these giant monsters.

[1:06:52] First thing it does is start roasting people and blowing up the streets.

[1:06:56] Yeah.

[1:06:57] Because he rules these streets.

[1:06:59] And Mechagodzilla starts fighting Godzilla.

[1:07:02] And Godzilla and Kong are already a little beat up at this point.

[1:07:05] They beat the shit out of each other.

[1:07:06] Oh yeah.

[1:07:06] And now they're fighting this giant robot that has legs like Godzilla and arms like Kong.

[1:07:11] And missiles.

[1:07:12] The ultimate fantasy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:13] And missiles.

[1:07:14] Sorry,

[1:07:15] Stuart,

[1:07:15] I forgot that you were probably building up to the ultimate fantasy.

[1:07:17] It's okay.

[1:07:18] So Mechagodzilla is very clearly under the control of King Ghidorah's skull,

[1:07:22] which I guess has some residual digital ghost understanding.

[1:07:26] It's a Digimon.

[1:07:27] Yeah.

[1:07:28] It's a literal Digimon now.

[1:07:31] Unfortunately,

[1:07:31] not a Pokemon.

[1:07:32] It's very big.

[1:07:33] You could not fit it in a pocket.

[1:07:35] But the,

[1:07:36] yeah,

[1:07:36] it's,

[1:07:36] he's just,

[1:07:37] he's just like,

[1:07:37] I'm the monster.

[1:07:38] I'm the monster now dog.

[1:07:39] And he's blasting and roasting and really giving Godzilla the business.

[1:07:43] He's just dragging Godzilla around everywhere.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:44] Yeah.

[1:07:45] It's pretty brutal actually.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:46] Yeah.

[1:07:47] Well,

[1:07:47] cause it's the,

[1:07:48] it's,

[1:07:48] it feels like,

[1:07:49] it does feel like an old school action movie where it's like,

[1:07:52] the two heroes are fighting.

[1:07:54] That means that one hero is too weak to come against the villain.

[1:07:57] And so the villain is just taking it on him to the point that the audience is begging the movie to save our hero and to come fighting.

[1:08:04] It's like the scene in,

[1:08:06] what's that?

[1:08:07] What is it?

[1:08:08] The 10th Prophecy,

[1:08:09] the movie with Stacy Keach,

[1:08:10] where you know that he used to be a psychotic covert ops killer,

[1:08:15] Green Beret,

[1:08:16] and he doesn't want to use violence.

[1:08:17] And he goes to a roadhouse and these bikers are really beating him up and they're making him lick beer off the wooden floor.

[1:08:23] And the whole time you're like,

[1:08:24] come on,

[1:08:25] killer Kane,

[1:08:25] like just get up and destroy these guys.

[1:08:27] And the movie takes so long to get to that point that you're really begging for Stacy Keach to just tear these guys apart,

[1:08:32] which he does.

[1:08:32] It's like that.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:33] What about the ninth configuration?

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:34] The ninth configuration.

[1:08:35] That's what I was saying.

[1:08:36] The 10th Prophecy?

[1:08:37] Yeah.

[1:08:37] Same thing.

[1:08:38] Ninth configuration,

[1:08:39] 10th Prophecy.

[1:08:40] Yeah,

[1:08:40] exactly.

[1:08:41] Either way,

[1:08:41] it's not that great a movie.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:43] It's interesting.

[1:08:44] It's an interesting movie.

[1:08:46] It's a weird,

[1:08:46] weird movie.

[1:08:48] Okay,

[1:08:48] so they fight,

[1:08:49] you know,

[1:08:49] whatever.

[1:08:50] They beat Mechagodzilla at the end.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:51] I don't know.

[1:08:52] What do you want to hear about it?

[1:08:53] They team up.

[1:08:53] They learn the power of friendship.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:55] Yep.

[1:08:56] Godzilla,

[1:08:56] they,

[1:08:57] Godzilla does the alley-oop of blowing his nuclear breath onto Kong's axe,

[1:09:01] powering that shit up.

[1:09:02] And then he just dices him up,

[1:09:04] man.

[1:09:05] And just Kong rip Mechagodzilla's head off and then drink the oil out of it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:10] I think he does.

[1:09:10] Probably.

[1:09:11] Yeah.

S4

[1:09:11] Yeah.

[1:09:13] It did seem like he was about to.

[1:09:14] I don't remember if he drinks it,

[1:09:15] but yeah,

[1:09:15] like,

[1:09:16] like,

[1:09:17] yeah,

[1:09:17] this is,

[1:09:18] this is a blood from a robot.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:20] It's awesome.

[1:09:21] This is great.

[1:09:22] I love it.

[1:09:23] Yeah.

[1:09:23] Then they have a little moment between them,

[1:09:25] the two of them,

[1:09:26] where it looks like,

[1:09:26] oh,

[1:09:27] is Godzilla going to fight Kong or what's going on?

[1:09:30] Like,

[1:09:30] are they going to take,

[1:09:31] pick it up?

[1:09:31] But it's like,

[1:09:32] they have like this moment of respect,

[1:09:34] you know?

[1:09:34] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:34] And,

[1:09:35] uh,

[1:09:35] everyone is,

[1:09:36] they,

[1:09:37] you know,

[1:09:37] they're like,

[1:09:37] yeah,

[1:09:37] they,

[1:09:37] they decide they're not going to fight each other.

[1:09:39] They're going to go off it.

[1:09:40] They can both be the alphas now.

[1:09:42] And,

[1:09:42] uh,

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:42] uh,

[1:09:42] it takes two by,

[1:09:43] uh,

[1:09:44] Rob base and TJ easy rock starts playing.

[1:09:46] And we're like,

[1:09:46] Oh,

[1:09:46] you,

[1:09:47] you,

[1:09:47] you crazy guys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:48] Yeah.

[1:09:48] You'll be back.

[1:09:50] Uh,

[1:09:50] everyone's reunited with their families.

[1:09:52] This is when looking at the,

[1:09:53] uh,

[1:09:53] Wikipedia summary that I forgot that,

[1:09:55] uh,

[1:09:56] the character that Kyle Chandler plays is named Mark Russell.

[1:09:59] And now I want to see a version of this where he's that Mark Russell who plays the parody songs about politicians,

[1:10:05] but he does it about dinosaurs.

[1:10:08] I was thinking of a comic book writer,

[1:10:09] but yeah.

[1:10:10] Oh yeah.

[1:10:10] Yeah.

[1:10:10] They,

[1:10:10] or him too.

[1:10:11] I love the idea in this movie.

[1:10:12] I want to see the version of this where there's like weird Al does kind of a kaiju parody of a popular song.

[1:10:18] Like that's how deep it is into the culture,

[1:10:20] you know?

[1:10:20] Yeah.

[1:10:21] Um,

[1:10:22] but now,

[1:10:22] yeah,

[1:10:23] everyone's fine.

[1:10:23] And Godzilla and Kong go their,

[1:10:24] their own ways.

[1:10:25] And,

[1:10:25] uh,

[1:10:26] does Kong,

[1:10:27] Kong goes back to the hollow earth,

[1:10:28] right?

Dan McCoy

[1:10:28] Kong goes into the hollow earth where he can like,

[1:10:30] you know,

[1:10:30] scratch his butt and sit around and,

[1:10:31] you know,

[1:10:32] carry his axe.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:33] Cause he couldn't do that before when he was in the monarch facility.

[1:10:35] Cause they always watching him.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:36] on a throne though.

[1:10:38] Kong's throne in the middle of the earth.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:40] Now he's truly a King Kong.

[1:10:41] They really took the name literally,

[1:10:43] even though he's never been called that.

[1:10:44] that's why.

[1:10:45] Uh huh.

[1:10:46] But he's a King without a kingdom.

[1:10:48] There's no other gorillas there.

[1:10:49] He just sits on the throne talking to nobody.

[1:10:51] It's really sad.

[1:10:52] Yeah.

[1:10:52] You're the only one by default.

[1:10:53] You're the King.

[1:10:54] Yeah,

[1:10:54] exactly.

[1:10:56] It's a,

[1:10:57] it's a sad way to become a King when there's just nobody else left.

[1:11:00] Uh,

[1:11:01] and I forget.

[1:11:02] And there's no credit scene or anything,

[1:11:05] right?

[1:11:05] There's no,

[1:11:06] there's no teaser for another adventure.

[1:11:07] I don't think so.

[1:11:08] I was a little disappointed by that.

S4

[1:11:10] It seems like we've been,

[1:11:11] we've been primed.

[1:11:12] I was ready.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:12] I was ready for the moment where they were like,

[1:11:14] you see some like alien,

[1:11:16] you know,

[1:11:17] some alien in a silver suit is like,

[1:11:19] Hmm.

[1:11:19] Mecha Godzilla failed.

[1:11:21] What do we do?

[1:11:22] And then another guy just turns to the camera and goes,

[1:11:24] get me Megalon.

[1:11:25] And then you're like,

[1:11:26] Oh,

[1:11:26] and I know Megalon came from under the earth too.

[1:11:30] I think so.

[1:11:30] That's it's a reboot,

[1:11:32] you know,

[1:11:32] it's different.

[1:11:33] So.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:34] All right,

[1:11:35] guys,

[1:11:35] this is where we do our final judgments,

[1:11:36] whether this is a good,

[1:11:37] bad movie,

[1:11:38] a bad,

[1:11:38] bad movie or a movie we kind of liked.

[1:11:42] Um,

[1:11:42] I will go because I'm talking.

[1:11:45] I did not care for this movie.

[1:11:47] Maybe look,

[1:11:48] look,

[1:11:48] I'm sorry that I,

[1:11:49] uh,

[1:11:50] my,

[1:11:50] um,

[1:11:52] understanding of this movie was,

[1:11:54] uh,

[1:11:55] pretty weak.

[1:11:55] I feel like I've let the listeners down,

[1:11:58] but these movies,

[1:12:00] no,

[1:12:01] you didn't.

[1:12:01] These movies slide off my brain.

[1:12:03] Like they,

[1:12:03] they put it,

[1:12:04] they try to lay so much track for something that's so seems like it should be so easy.

[1:12:08] Like I need both much less justification,

[1:12:13] uh,

[1:12:15] and more than the movie provides me just in the sense that like so much of the movie seems to be moving chess pieces into place,

[1:12:23] uh,

[1:12:24] in elaborate ways.

[1:12:25] And yet,

[1:12:26] like,

[1:12:27] I still am not quite sure why the big monsters are fighting other than big monsters always fight.

[1:12:32] Like if it had been a thing,

[1:12:34] it would have been much simpler to me if this guy's plan was like,

[1:12:38] Hey,

[1:12:38] look,

[1:12:39] I need to build Mechagodzilla to protect us from these Titans.

[1:12:44] We need to be the apex.

[1:12:45] Humans need to be in charge.

[1:12:47] In the meantime,

[1:12:49] I am like,

[1:12:50] I have discovered this frequency that is like,

[1:12:53] I'm,

[1:12:54] I'm sending out these waves.

[1:12:55] Like we'll get the Titans to fight one another and eliminate them each other until I can swoop in or something like that.

[1:13:04] Cause like,

[1:13:04] yeah,

[1:13:04] at least that,

[1:13:05] like I understand that they're,

[1:13:07] they're like big animals.

[1:13:08] And they need a big animal reason to be fighting,

[1:13:11] you know,

[1:13:12] but instead it's just sort of like,

[1:13:14] I don't know,

[1:13:14] man,

[1:13:15] they just,

[1:13:15] you know,

[1:13:16] they rubbed each other the wrong way somehow,

[1:13:18] somewhere along the line.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:19] There's a surprisingly complicated emotional dynamic between the gorilla and the radioactive dinosaur.

[1:13:24] Well,

[1:13:24] I think it's,

[1:13:25] there's a,

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:26] I,

[1:13:26] I didn't hate this movie,

[1:13:28] but it failed to live up to my hopes for it.

[1:13:31] Uh,

[1:13:31] aside from a couple of actually weird and kind of weird visual scenes.

[1:13:35] But it's like,

[1:13:35] I see what you're saying that.

[1:13:36] So there's a,

[1:13:37] uh,

[1:13:38] I think I mentioned on the podcast for,

[1:13:39] there's an essay Umberto Eco wrote years ago called how to tell if you're in a porn movie.

[1:13:44] you can't have a movie that's just sex scenes one after another.

[1:13:47] You have to have some filler in between.

[1:13:49] And so if you find yourself spending a lot of time going from one place to another place and then having sex and then driving from one place to another place,

[1:13:56] then you might be in a porn movie.

[1:13:58] And it feels like here,

[1:13:59] they know you cannot have two hours of just monsters punching each other in the face.

[1:14:03] Rampage the movie.

[1:14:04] They tried it.

[1:14:04] They proved that you can't,

[1:14:05] you can't do that.

[1:14:06] Uh,

[1:14:07] you need to have some kind of plot,

[1:14:08] some kind of characters.

[1:14:09] And so they're trying really hard to explain it,

[1:14:12] but they never tap into what is a really strong reason,

[1:14:16] which is like in the best of these monster movies,

[1:14:18] the monsters represent something,

[1:14:20] you know,

[1:14:20] like in the original Godzilla,

[1:14:21] it's not about,

[1:14:22] wouldn't it be scary if a big monster started knocking over buildings?

[1:14:25] It's about,

[1:14:26] it's what,

[1:14:27] what is it like when an atomic bomb is dropped on your city?

[1:14:29] You know,

[1:14:29] and how do you,

[1:14:30] how do you handle that?

[1:14:31] Or as goofy as Godzilla versus the smog monster is like,

[1:14:34] it's a movie about how pollution is bad.

[1:14:36] You know,

[1:14:36] like it's,

[1:14:37] it's like,

[1:14:38] it feels like these movies should be about their natural forces that people feel superior to,

[1:14:43] but are not.

[1:14:43] And they try to manipulate them and they can't,

[1:14:46] and they are trying to get at this with this movie.

[1:14:48] And they just don't quite make it there.

[1:14:50] they need a stronger reason that needs less,

[1:14:53] what I would call informally technological gobbledygook.

[1:14:56] I love a certain amount of technological gobbledygook.

[1:14:58] Like,

[1:14:59] if anything,

[1:14:59] if there was just a scene where a scientist is like,

[1:15:02] you see here,

[1:15:03] this,

[1:15:03] this neutron energy explodes out from the pores and goes into these radiation finders.

[1:15:07] If there's one scene of that,

[1:15:09] I'd be like,

[1:15:09] I love it.

[1:15:10] Now let's move on.

[1:15:11] But instead there's scene after scene of it.

[1:15:13] And yeah,

[1:15:14] by the end of it,

[1:15:16] you're like,

[1:15:16] as you're saying,

[1:15:17] Dan,

[1:15:17] why are the monsters fighting again?

[1:15:19] Like what,

[1:15:19] like what is,

[1:15:20] are they,

[1:15:21] what is their goal in doing this?

[1:15:23] Yeah.

[1:15:23] So it,

[1:15:24] but the,

[1:15:25] I did like that Hong Kong fight a lot.

[1:15:27] It's super,

[1:15:28] it's super gorgeous to look at as long as I'm not,

[1:15:30] as long as I'm imagining that they evacuated the city ahead of time,

[1:15:33] you know,

[1:15:33] what do you guys think?

[1:15:36] Stuart?

[1:15:37] Stuart,

[1:15:38] Cans?

[1:15:38] Yeah,

[1:15:38] so,

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:39] uh,

[1:15:39] I,

[1:15:40] I gotta say,

[1:15:43] I kinda like this movie,

[1:15:45] guys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:45] Even after what Dan and I said?

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:47] I know.

[1:15:48] Uh,

[1:15:49] you can't,

[1:15:49] you can't hate on my parade,

[1:15:51] you know,

[1:15:51] that's what they say.

[1:15:52] Um,

[1:15:53] but no,

[1:15:53] I,

[1:15:54] I think it,

[1:15:55] I,

[1:15:55] I don't,

[1:15:56] I mean,

[1:15:56] maybe,

[1:15:57] maybe it's exactly the same quality of movie as the last one.

[1:16:00] And I'm just at a different point in my life.

[1:16:02] Who knows?

[1:16:02] You know,

[1:16:03] that's what we're all just on our own individual journeys,

[1:16:05] kind of like calling it Godzilla.

[1:16:07] But,

[1:16:07] but they weren't on their own individual journeys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:09] They were tied together by a mystic energy bond.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:11] That's true.

[1:16:13] Um,

[1:16:13] so I like that,

[1:16:15] uh,

[1:16:16] I feel like the movie is fairly light on its feet.

[1:16:19] Like it doesn't get bogged down too much despite being,

[1:16:23] despite your opinion.

[1:16:24] I think,

[1:16:24] I think it actually moves pretty quickly.

[1:16:26] Um,

[1:16:27] I like the,

[1:16:29] the fights.

[1:16:29] I think they're all in kind of like different environments.

[1:16:32] You get a lot of different environments in this movie.

[1:16:34] Um,

[1:16:35] it's pretty to look at,

[1:16:36] uh,

[1:16:36] and you can actually see the monsters.

[1:16:39] I like the Godzilla design.

[1:16:41] Uh,

[1:16:42] yeah.

[1:16:42] And Jen,

[1:16:43] like,

[1:16:43] I think it's certainly a fine movie,

[1:16:46] um,

[1:16:47] that I'm sure there's a ton of things wrong with,

[1:16:49] but for like a big blockbuster.

[1:16:51] And I also think like,

[1:16:52] I kind of wish I'd seen it in a movie theater.

[1:16:54] I bet it was those big,

[1:16:55] those big fight scenes would look fucking great in a movie theater.

[1:16:58] Yeah,

[1:16:59] I bet they probably did.

[1:17:00] Yeah.

S4

[1:17:01] Yeah.

[1:17:01] I think,

[1:17:02] I mean,

[1:17:03] well,

[1:17:03] I'll let you in a little secret.

[1:17:05] There's virtually not a monster movie that I don't like.

[1:17:07] And so,

[1:17:08] I mean,

[1:17:08] so it's probably a movie that I kind of like,

[1:17:10] but I mean,

[1:17:11] I agree with Dan and that it did slide right off my brain.

[1:17:14] Like I,

[1:17:14] I watched it twice because I watched it again when you guys,

[1:17:18] when you guys,

[1:17:19] uh,

[1:17:19] contacted me and I was like,

[1:17:20] Oh,

[1:17:21] that's what was happening in this movie.

[1:17:22] Like I had totally forgotten that there,

[1:17:24] some things were,

[1:17:25] had happened.

[1:17:26] And I was like,

[1:17:27] Oh,

[1:17:27] I finally sort of pieced the plot together.

[1:17:30] this movie made no impression on me whatsoever in terms of like drama.

[1:17:34] You know,

[1:17:35] it was just sort of like,

[1:17:36] I saw a bunch of stuff.

[1:17:38] Um,

[1:17:38] and I have to say,

[1:17:39] this is the thing that really bugged me throughout the whole movie.

[1:17:41] Cause I was sure it was going to happen.

[1:17:43] I couldn't believe that like somehow King Kong wasn't knocked into an apex sign,

[1:17:48] knocking off the X,

[1:17:50] and then rising triumphantly with ape.

[1:17:53] That's why,

[1:17:54] that's why you're the best in the biz.

[1:17:55] Yeah.

[1:17:56] it's not like I think that's the greatest like visual of all time,

[1:17:59] but I couldn't believe that this movie didn't do it.

[1:18:01] Like,

[1:18:01] it's not like it would be too dumb,

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:02] but a movie that had the confidence to do something that over the top on the

[1:18:06] nose,

[1:18:07] like that's a better version of this movie.

[1:18:08] That's a movie.

[1:18:09] That's not ashamed of being like,

[1:18:11] it's a monster fight movie.

[1:18:12] Let's go all out.

[1:18:13] And like,

[1:18:14] it's,

[1:18:14] it's getting towards that with Godzilla blasting a hole into the center of the

[1:18:18] earth.

[1:18:19] But like,

[1:18:19] yeah,

[1:18:20] I wanted to go more.

[1:18:20] I feel like if the movie had more comfort doing zany things like that,

[1:18:26] and also had like one character who's had a memorable thing about,

[1:18:31] like the characters are just kind of a little too cardboardy.

[1:18:33] And I wanted one of them to be weird or surprising or something the way that

[1:18:37] like,

[1:18:38] I used to think about how the Japanese Godzilla movies,

[1:18:41] they have tons of talky scenes that are very boring in between the monster

[1:18:44] fight scenes.

[1:18:45] But there would always be like one character would be like,

[1:18:47] well,

[1:18:47] what's this deal?

[1:18:48] Wait a minute.

[1:18:49] So this is just this like bachelor scientist who has a son,

[1:18:52] but it's not a son.

[1:18:52] It's just like a little kid who lives with him and works with him in the lab.

[1:18:55] Like there's always,

[1:18:56] there was always something that was like,

[1:18:58] wait,

[1:18:58] so she's a robot.

[1:18:59] Like there's,

[1:19:00] there's always like something that was a little out of the ordinary.

[1:19:02] And here the characters are just so kind of by the numbers.

S4

[1:19:05] Yeah.

[1:19:05] And they,

[1:19:06] they never,

[1:19:07] it was never sort of like defined who was in charge of what.

[1:19:09] Like,

[1:19:10] you know,

[1:19:10] there was,

[1:19:10] there was like Alexander Skarsgård was giving commands to people who were

[1:19:14] clearly like military people that he had nothing to do with whatsoever.

[1:19:17] You know,

[1:19:18] he's telling people stuff that he doesn't know about.

[1:19:20] I don't know.

[1:19:20] I thought that that was,

[1:19:22] it was,

[1:19:22] you didn't have a chance to sort of say like,

[1:19:24] well,

[1:19:24] here's the by the,

[1:19:25] by the book,

[1:19:26] you know,

[1:19:26] military guy.

[1:19:27] And then here's the wild,

[1:19:28] you know,

[1:19:29] theory dude.

[1:19:30] And like,

[1:19:30] you know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:31] So in the characters,

[1:19:32] there was no,

[1:19:33] there was almost never a scene where a character and another character like argued,

[1:19:36] really?

[1:19:37] Well,

[1:19:37] a character would be like,

[1:19:38] we got to do this thing.

[1:19:39] And another character would say,

[1:19:39] no.

[1:19:40] And the first character would be like,

[1:19:40] let's do it.

[1:19:41] And the second character would be like,

[1:19:42] I hope you know what you're doing.

[1:19:43] And that would be the extent of the conversation.

[1:19:44] But you're right.

[1:19:45] It's like a private company,

[1:19:47] a private corporation goes to a quasi governmental organization,

[1:19:52] Monarch,

[1:19:52] and says,

[1:19:52] can we borrow a giant monster?

[1:19:54] The U.S.

[1:19:55] military helps the private company transport this monster.

[1:19:59] Well,

[1:19:59] I don't know who owns,

[1:20:00] you know,

[1:20:00] I don't know who has,

[1:20:00] who has jurisdiction over that monster.

[1:20:02] Rebecca Hall,

[1:20:02] I guess.

[1:20:02] Taking massive damages,

[1:20:04] losing several ships.

[1:20:05] Losing aircraft carriers.

[1:20:06] He doesn't bow to anybody.

[1:20:07] Like losing like real,

[1:20:09] and like,

[1:20:10] and people,

[1:20:11] you know,

[1:20:11] sailors and things like that.

[1:20:12] I felt kind of the,

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:13] I felt kind of more bad for all the poor sailors on those boats that were getting exploded.

[1:20:18] Because I'm like,

[1:20:19] like,

[1:20:20] oh man,

[1:20:20] they don't have a chance.

[1:20:21] They're just,

[1:20:21] and everybody else is sort of like,

S4

[1:20:23] well,

[1:20:23] you know,

[1:20:24] that didn't work very well.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:26] I mean,

[1:20:26] it's always,

[1:20:27] I mean,

[1:20:27] this is part,

[1:20:28] part of the course for these movies,

[1:20:29] but the fact that by the time they get to the hollow earth tunnel,

[1:20:31] yes,

[1:20:32] let's do it.

[1:20:33] were you not affected at all,

[1:20:35] but the naval battle that you were just a part of?

[1:20:37] Like,

S4

[1:20:37] right.

[1:20:37] They're like,

[1:20:38] no,

[1:20:38] I was in a big green room where they were like shaking a bunch of tennis balls at me.

[1:20:41] So I didn't know what was going on.

[1:20:42] I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:43] I will figure it out later.

[1:20:44] They told me I'm seeing a big tunnel.

[1:20:45] So I guess I'm excited now.

[1:20:47] But yeah,

[1:20:47] there's a,

[1:20:48] and it,

[1:20:48] and again,

[1:20:49] like if the movie was like confident enough to point out how it's the difference between a movie like,

[1:20:53] um,

[1:20:54] like I wanted this movie to be less like,

[1:20:56] uh,

[1:20:57] Godzilla King of the Monsters,

[1:20:58] which is trying to explain everything all the time.

[1:21:01] And more like house who,

[1:21:02] where it's just like,

[1:21:03] there's a bunch of stuff happening here.

[1:21:05] Like,

[1:21:05] let's get there.

[1:21:06] A watermelon is laughing for some reason in the background.

[1:21:08] of the scene.

[1:21:09] Like,

[1:21:09] okay,

[1:21:09] I would have loved,

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:10] I would have loved your pitch to this studio.

[1:21:12] I want you to invest a ton of fucking money in a monster movie.

[1:21:16] That's more like house.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:17] I think they'd be okay with it.

[1:21:19] When you get that Hall of Earth,

[1:21:20] why aren't the guys from yellow submarine stomping around in there?

[1:21:23] Come on,

[1:21:23] like go all the way with it.

[1:21:24] You know,

[1:21:25] we are the host of my brother,

Justin McElroy

[1:21:32] my brother,

[1:21:32] me,

[1:21:33] and now nearly 10 years into our podcast,

[1:21:36] the secret can be revealed.

[1:21:37] All the clues are in place and the world's greatest treasure hunt can now begin.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:42] Embedded in each episode of my brother,

Justin McElroy

[1:21:44] and me is a micro clue that will lead you to 14 precious gemstones all around this big,

[1:21:50] beautiful blue world of ours.

[1:21:51] So start coming through the episodes.

[1:21:53] Let's say starting at episode 101 on.

S4

[1:21:56] Yeah,

[1:21:57] the early episodes are pretty problematic.

[1:21:58] So there's no clues in those episodes.

[1:22:01] No,

[1:22:02] no,

[1:22:02] not at all.

[1:22:03] The better ones,

[1:22:04] the good ones,

[1:22:04] clues a hoy.

Justin McElroy

[1:22:05] Listen to every episode repeatedly in sequence.

[1:22:09] Laugh if you must,

[1:22:10] but mainly get all the great clues.

[1:22:13] My brother,

[1:22:13] me,

[1:22:13] it's an advice show,

[1:22:15] kind of,

[1:22:15] but a treasure hunt,

[1:22:16] mainly.

[1:22:17] Anywhere you find podcasts or treasure maps.

[1:22:20] My brother,

[1:22:20] me,

[1:22:21] the hunt is on.

S6

[1:22:24] Max Fun Drive 2021 is coming.

[1:22:27] It'll be May 3rd to May 14th.

[1:22:29] To get in the spirit,

[1:22:30] we ask folks like you to let us know what Maximum Fun and our shows mean to them.

Justin McElroy

[1:22:35] You know,

[1:22:35] the Maximum Fun Network is really important to me because it is not just a collection of podcasts,

[1:22:42] but it is a lifestyle and a value system.

S4

[1:22:47] The podcasts frequently and deftly float between meaningful and irreverent.

[1:22:51] In one moment,

[1:22:52] drawing attention to social issues and in another,

[1:22:54] making dick jokes about Klingons.

[1:22:56] It shouldn't work,

[1:22:57] but it does.

[1:22:58] And I have to believe it's because Max Fun's podcasts are,

[1:23:02] at their core,

[1:23:03] thoughtful and kind and human during a time that has often felt cold and isolated.

Justin McElroy

[1:23:09] So,

[1:23:10] keep being great and doing what you do.

S6

[1:23:14] Max Fun Drive will be May 3rd to May 14th, 2021,

[1:23:17] and you won't want to miss it.

[1:23:19] Brilliant Eps,

[1:23:20] Drive exclusive gifts,

[1:23:21] and maybe some surprises.

[1:23:23] Want to directly support the hosts of the show we just jumped into?

[1:23:26] Come back May 3rd for Max Fun Drive.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:32] The Flophouse is sponsored in part by Squarespace,

[1:23:35] the service that helps you create a beautiful website

[1:23:39] where you can blog or publish content,

[1:23:41] sell products and services of all kinds,

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[1:23:45] Squarespace does this by giving you beautiful,

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[1:24:05] and when you're ready to launch,

[1:24:07] use the offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:14] Dan,

[1:24:14] I had an idea for a website,

[1:24:16] and I was wondering if you thought Squarespace would be able to help me with it.

[1:24:18] Hey,

[1:24:18] lay it on me,

[1:24:19] man.

[1:24:20] Okay,

[1:24:21] so,

[1:24:21] I've been watching these movies,

[1:24:23] these monster movies,

[1:24:24] and I keep thinking,

[1:24:25] in a world where all these new types of life form exist,

[1:24:29] these animals that we have never seen before,

[1:24:33] Godzillas,

[1:24:34] King Kongs,

[1:24:35] that super cool laid back beach bro lizard that shows up just for a couple seconds,

[1:24:40] the Ketsu Kulwadls,

[1:24:42] those kinds of gross vulture bats,

[1:24:45] it's hard to know,

[1:24:46] can I eat them?

[1:24:48] And that's where www.kaijewish.com comes in,

[1:24:51] your source online for the kosher or non-kosher ratings.

[1:24:55] For all the new monsters,

[1:24:56] titans as they're called in the new movies,

[1:24:58] kaiju as I know them.

[1:24:59] So,

[1:25:00] kaijewish.com is your place to find out,

[1:25:02] can I eat a Godzilla?

[1:25:04] Or is it considered not kosher?

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:06] Does that determine which titans are Jewish or kosher?

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:12] Well,

[1:25:12] it depends on the titan.

[1:25:14] A titan like Kong is fairly humanoid.

[1:25:17] It's possible that he is,

[1:25:19] we can't see if he's circumcised in the movie,

[1:25:22] but kaijewish.com would be able to answer that question.

[1:25:25] Oh, great.

[1:25:25] But something like,

[1:25:26] you know,

[1:25:28] Ghidorah,

[1:25:28] I doubt that he is,

[1:25:30] unless he's converted upon reaching Earth,

[1:25:32] I doubt that is Jewish.

[1:25:34] Certainly not,

[1:25:35] I don't think that his family is Jewish.

[1:25:36] But at kaijewish.com,

[1:25:38] all those answers would be answered for you.

[1:25:41] kaijewish.com,

[1:25:42] a guide for the perplexed about monsters.

[1:25:45] So,

[1:25:45] Dan,

[1:25:45] do you think that Squarespace would be able to help me with that?

Dan McCoy

[1:25:47] I think Squarespace would be a perfect service to set up this new business that definitely will exist and be used by people.

[1:26:01] Yeah.

[1:26:01] And if you're looking...

[1:26:01] Certainly by rabbis.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:02] And also laymen who are,

[1:26:04] who are,

[1:26:04] again,

[1:26:05] perplexed.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:06] Yeah.

[1:26:06] If you're looking also,

[1:26:07] maybe,

[1:26:08] maybe you set up a website and you need,

[1:26:10] you know,

[1:26:11] some video content.

[1:26:14] Well,

[1:26:14] worry not.

[1:26:15] Because we're also sponsored by Storyblocks.

[1:26:19] Now more than ever,

[1:26:20] storytellers and content creators are challenged with producing more video content at a higher quality than ever before.

[1:26:27] Keep up with the growing demands for modern video content without sacrificing your vision with stock media from Storyblocks.

[1:26:35] Storyblocks is dedicated to being the world's best royalty-free stock media subscription service with an ever-growing library that has over 1 million high-quality stock assets,

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[1:26:56] They have affordable subscription plans and tools,

[1:26:59] and with Storyblocks' unlimited all-access plan,

[1:27:03] you can get unlimited downloads of everything in their library.

[1:27:06] And even if your subscription ends,

[1:27:08] everything you've downloaded is yours to keep.

[1:27:11] You know,

[1:27:12] I used Storyblocks the last time we did a live show.

[1:27:16] We've talked about it before.

[1:27:17] I did a song about ping,

[1:27:19] and they helped out tremendously.

[1:27:22] If you want to be like me,

[1:27:25] not do a song about ping,

[1:27:26] but use Storyblocks,

[1:27:28] you can explore their library.

[1:27:29] Of course you can.

[1:27:30] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:30] sorry,

[1:27:30] Disney,

[1:27:31] I didn't realize you own the copyright on ping forever and ever into eternity.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:35] You can explore their library.

[1:27:37] And subscribe today at storyblocks.com slash flop.

[1:27:42] That's storyblocks.com slash flop.

[1:27:46] I believe you gentlemen have some Jumbotrons.

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:50] Time for a J-J-J-J-Jumbotron!

[1:27:53] Coming into the ring is Elliot Kalin,

[1:27:54] ready to read his Jumbotron!

[1:27:57] I got it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:57] I'm ready.

[1:27:58] I'm shaking my head the way boxers do when they're going in there.

[1:28:00] Okay,

[1:28:01] this is a message for Alex.

[1:28:02] This message is from Jeremy.

[1:28:05] And the message goes like this.

[1:28:06] Alex!

[1:28:07] Exclamation point.

[1:28:08] It is your birthday.

[1:28:09] Or maybe it was,

[1:28:10] depending on when this makes it.

[1:28:11] Happy birthday!

[1:28:12] Pandemics suck,

[1:28:13] but I'm glad we're healthy.

[1:28:15] I miss you.

[1:28:15] I can't wait for future adventures outside Canada

[1:28:17] to see these three sophisticated New York perverts live.

[1:28:21] Maybe we can even hear a letters song.

[1:28:22] I know how much you love those.

[1:28:24] Oh,

[1:28:24] that's a very sweet message.

[1:28:25] I take a little bit of issue with being referred to as a pervert,

[1:28:29] but sophisticated my perversions are.

[1:28:31] So,

[1:28:31] yeah.

[1:28:32] Mm-hmm.

[1:28:34] Which I assume just means I'm into girls with glasses.

[1:28:37] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:40] I guess I'll write it in my fucking Elliot journal.

[1:28:42] Put it in my dossier.

[1:28:44] Yep.

[1:28:46] I have a Jumbotron,

[1:28:49] so I enter the ring.

[1:28:50] I'm shaking my head also like a boxer,

[1:28:52] but, like,

[1:28:52] I think I'm shaking it even more intensely.

[1:28:54] Oh, wow.

[1:28:55] I have a message for David Wogan.

[1:28:58] And the message is from Wogan's in Austin.

[1:29:02] Hey there, doctor!

[1:29:04] That's two exclamation points.

[1:29:06] We wish you the happiest of birthdays,

[1:29:08] the greatest of years,

[1:29:10] and continued success,

[1:29:11] and good times in Tokyo.

[1:29:14] L-W-A-T-C-D-R.

[1:29:17] We'll see you in the fall.

[1:29:20] Enjoy!

Dan McCoy

[1:29:22] I don't know what that,

[1:29:24] I don't know what those letters are.

[1:29:25] I hope we didn't activate a manchering candidate.

[1:29:27] I sincerely hope I didn't somewhere.

[1:29:30] Yep.

[1:29:30] That was a trigger phrase,

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:31] and now the end has begun.

[1:29:34] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:35] Bucky Barnes is gonna burst through the wall

[1:29:37] and punch me with that arm of his.

[1:29:39] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:40] Not the metal one, though.

[1:29:40] The other arm.

[1:29:41] That's what I meant.

[1:29:42] The other one isn't his arm.

[1:29:44] Yeah, that's true.

[1:29:44] It doesn't belong to him.

[1:29:45] They can take it from him.

[1:29:47] Hey, Dan, I had a small plug

[1:29:48] I wanted to plug

[1:29:49] in this plug section

[1:29:50] of the plug show

[1:29:50] of the Plug House.

[1:29:51] Sure.

[1:29:52] As people may know

[1:29:53] who have listened,

[1:29:54] I have a comic book out right now.

[1:29:55] It's called Maniac of New York.

[1:29:56] It comes from Aftershock Comics.

[1:29:58] I wrote it.

[1:29:59] The art is by Andrea Moody,

[1:30:00] and it's in stores now,

[1:30:03] unless it has sold out

[1:30:04] at your local store,

[1:30:05] in which case it is available online.

[1:30:07] But, as always,

[1:30:08] please support your local comic book store.

[1:30:09] They need your business now

[1:30:10] more than ever,

[1:30:11] and they are great places to go.

[1:30:12] So that's Maniac of New York.

[1:30:13] Issue three is on the stands

[1:30:15] as we record this.

[1:30:16] Issue four will come out in May.

[1:30:17] It's a five-issue series.

[1:30:19] I thank you.

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:20] I can't stress enough

[1:30:21] how cool it is

[1:30:24] that the writer

[1:30:26] of probably the best

[1:30:27] Friday the 13th riff

[1:30:30] in recent memory

[1:30:33] is a close friend of mine.

[1:30:34] So, Elliot,

[1:30:35] good job on that comic.

[1:30:36] It's great.

[1:30:36] Thank you very much.

[1:30:37] That means a lot to me.

[1:30:37] Thank you.

[1:30:37] That's sweet.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:38] Okay.

[1:30:39] Well, let's take some letters

[1:30:42] from listeners.

[1:30:44] Listeners.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:44] Wait, are these...

[1:30:45] We're just ripping them

[1:30:47] out of their hands?

[1:30:48] Yeah.

[1:30:48] Because this is private mail.

[1:30:49] That's a felony

[1:30:49] to just take letters from people.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:51] Oh, no, no.

[1:30:51] These are actual letters.

[1:30:52] I took the letter E.

[1:30:54] Oh, okay.

[1:30:55] The most useful one.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:57] I just have a Q.

[1:30:58] What do I do with that?

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:00] Well, you try to undermine

[1:31:02] the government

[1:31:02] of the United States.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:04] Oh, yeah, because

[1:31:04] the storm is coming.

[1:31:05] Anyway, yeah, I know that

[1:31:06] because all these movies

[1:31:07] have told me that

[1:31:07] the government is lying to me

[1:31:08] about monsters or aliens

[1:31:09] or whatever, you know.

[1:31:10] Right.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:11] No, this letter is from

[1:31:13] Dan, last name withheld.

[1:31:15] McCoy.

[1:31:16] Who writes,

[1:31:17] I just want to tell you

[1:31:18] I discovered your pod

[1:31:19] at the beginning

[1:31:20] of the series

[1:31:20] of unfortunate events

[1:31:22] that have befallen the globe.

[1:31:25] Your catalog has been

[1:31:25] a ray of sunshine

[1:31:27] in otherwise dark times.

[1:31:29] Tell me,

[1:31:30] what horror movie villain

[1:31:32] would you attack

[1:31:32] in single combat

[1:31:34] given the choice?

[1:31:36] Much love, Dan,

[1:31:37] last name withheld.

[1:31:39] I'm going to,

[1:31:40] I'm drawing a line

[1:31:41] in the sand.

[1:31:41] I'm going to say to this,

[1:31:42] you know what?

[1:31:43] Dracula ain't shit.

[1:31:45] Wow.

[1:31:46] He can come for me anytime.

[1:31:48] Like, Dracula.

[1:31:49] Well, you just invite,

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:49] I mean, you've just

[1:31:50] invited him into your house

Dan McCoy

[1:31:51] by saying that to you.

[1:31:51] Oh, yeah.

[1:31:52] He will come anytime

[1:31:53] while you're sleeping

[1:31:54] or something.

[1:31:55] That undermines my scheme

[1:31:56] which was that,

[1:31:57] you know, like,

[1:31:58] vampires, like,

[1:31:59] look, I get,

[1:32:00] the frightening idea

[1:32:01] behind them.

[1:32:03] Both the idea that

[1:32:04] And the alluring idea

[1:32:06] behind them.

[1:32:07] Both the idea that

[1:32:07] someone will feed on you

[1:32:08] and sort of like

[1:32:10] the horror and loneliness

[1:32:11] of immortality.

[1:32:14] But it seems like

[1:32:15] they're also, like,

[1:32:16] pretty weak.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:18] Like, if you come on,

[1:32:19] like, just

[1:32:19] I mean, they can turn

[1:32:19] into wolves and mists.

[1:32:21] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:21] Some of them can

[1:32:22] if they're powerful enough.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:24] They're super strong.

[1:32:26] Oh, so by Dracula,

[1:32:27] so when you said Dracula,

[1:32:29] the king of the vampires,

[1:32:31] what you meant was, like,

[1:32:32] more like a weaker,

[1:32:34] like, cartoon vampire.

[1:32:35] He's old.

[1:32:35] Hey, Dracula.

[1:32:36] He's been on top.

[1:32:36] Yeah.

[1:32:37] He's been on top for too long.

[1:32:39] What you meant was Chocula.

[1:32:39] What you meant to say

[1:32:40] was Count Chocula

Dan McCoy

[1:32:41] and that's the one

[1:32:42] you want to come after you.

[1:32:42] I'm going to stake him

[1:32:44] and I'm going to eat

[1:32:45] his chocolatey remains.

[1:32:47] He's a horror movie villain,

[1:32:48] Count Chocula.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:49] No, I mean, vampires,

[1:32:50] like, you just find them

[1:32:51] when they're asleep.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:51] I mean, cereal boxes

[1:32:51] are movies, right?

Dan McCoy

[1:32:52] You find them

[1:32:53] when they're asleep,

[1:32:53] you stake them.

[1:32:55] They sleep when you're awake,

[1:32:56] vice versa.

[1:32:57] Just do it.

[1:32:58] Yeah, it's the cycle of life.

[1:33:00] Yeah, just do it.

[1:33:01] What do you guys have to say?

[1:33:04] What monster would you take

[1:33:05] in single combat?

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:07] Okay, well, I mean,

[1:33:08] I think this is probably colored

[1:33:09] by my experience with the movie,

[1:33:10] but I would have to say

[1:33:11] the killer dwarf

[1:33:12] at the end of Don't Look Now,

[1:33:14] I think I got you.

[1:33:15] And if I don't got you,

[1:33:17] if somehow confronting you

[1:33:18] makes me,

[1:33:19] drives me into, like,

[1:33:21] a world of madness

[1:33:22] and I end up getting stabbed to death,

[1:33:23] well, then at least I get to be

[1:33:24] with the spirit of my daughter

[1:33:26] in heaven, so hooray.

[1:33:27] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:27] This is how I imagine

[1:33:29] Stuart getting into that situation

[1:33:30] is you use Donald Sutherland

[1:33:32] as your bait

[1:33:34] and while the killer

[1:33:35] is stabbing him,

[1:33:36] you just jump out

[1:33:37] and push him

[1:33:38] into the canals of Venice.

[1:33:39] Gotcha!

Dan McCoy

[1:33:40] Yep.

[1:33:41] You know what another good one

[1:33:42] to kill would be

[1:33:43] is a werewolf

[1:33:44] because they're just

[1:33:46] a regular human

[1:33:46] most of the time, so...

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:48] But when you kill them

[1:33:49] when they're just

[1:33:49] a regular person,

[1:33:50] that's murder, Dan.

[1:33:51] It's not self-defense

[1:33:52] so much

[1:33:53] when they're just a person.

[1:33:54] I mean, just,

Dan McCoy

[1:33:55] the question is just,

[1:33:56] you know,

[1:33:56] who would you attack

[1:33:57] in single combat

[1:33:58] given the choice,

[1:33:59] so...

[1:33:59] Oh, okay.

[1:33:59] If there's like a

[1:34:00] rogues gallery

[1:34:01] of monsters

[1:34:02] in front of me

[1:34:03] and I'm like,

[1:34:03] okay, I'll take that guy,

[1:34:04] the guy who will be

[1:34:06] a wolf later,

[1:34:07] but isn't right now.

[1:34:07] What if he's a wolf

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:07] when you're making

[1:34:08] the choice, though, Dan?

[1:34:09] You can't guarantee...

[1:34:10] I mean, he is only

[1:34:11] a wolf once a month,

[1:34:12] so it's likely

[1:34:12] he's not going to be a wolf.

[1:34:13] And then you wonder

[1:34:14] why he's volunteering

[1:34:15] to fight you

[1:34:16] if he's not a wolf

[1:34:16] at that moment.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:17] I'm just saying

[1:34:17] we can each put

[1:34:18] whatever conditions

[1:34:19] we want to

[1:34:20] on this hypothetical question

[1:34:21] about made-up...

[1:34:22] But Dan,

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:22] what if you challenge him

[1:34:23] and he goes,

[1:34:23] all right,

[1:34:24] then I choose the weapon,

[1:34:29] escape from L.A.

[1:34:32] all over again.

[1:34:33] Yeah.

[1:34:36] I hate it

[1:34:36] when something turns out

[1:34:37] to be escape from L.A. again.

[1:34:38] Oh, man.

[1:34:40] I gotta sink all...

[1:34:41] That is...

[1:34:42] It's one of the funniest things

[1:34:43] in that movie

[1:34:43] where it's like,

[1:34:44] yeah, this is the most L.A. thing

[1:34:45] I guess he could have to do,

[1:34:46] but it's not that exciting

[1:34:47] to just watch

[1:34:48] Kurt Russell play basketball

[1:34:49] against himself.

[1:34:50] Oh, I love that scene.

[1:34:51] And there's no music, right?

[1:34:53] It's just everyone silently

[1:34:54] watching him sink baskets.

[1:34:56] I love it.

[1:34:58] I took this in a different way.

[1:34:59] I guess I wasn't thinking

[1:35:01] about attacking to the death,

[1:35:02] and I was thinking

[1:35:03] that I would go after

[1:35:03] the spider gremlin

[1:35:04] from Gremlins 2,

[1:35:05] and then when I defeated it,

[1:35:07] I could train it

[1:35:08] to be my pet,

[1:35:08] and I could ride it around

[1:35:09] all over the place

[1:35:10] because that would be super fun.

[1:35:11] At night.

[1:35:12] Obviously, I can't ride him

[1:35:13] around at day

[1:35:13] because the sun would

[1:35:14] boil him and melt him.

[1:35:16] But, you know.

[1:35:17] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:17] Then you could finally

[1:35:18] one-up your alter ego,

[1:35:21] the brain gremlin.

[1:35:23] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:23] Well, I mean,

[1:35:25] if it was me against him,

[1:35:26] it would just be

[1:35:26] too evenly matched.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:27] You guys would just

[1:35:28] end up talking about,

[1:35:29] I don't know,

[1:35:30] like old Broadway shows

[1:35:31] that you both saw.

[1:35:32] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:33] Well, you kidding?

[1:35:33] Tony Randall doing the voice?

[1:35:34] Definitely.

[1:35:35] I mean, I saw him on Broadway

[1:35:36] in The Odd Couple

[1:35:37] with Jack Klugman.

[1:35:38] Oh, no, sorry.

[1:35:38] It wasn't The Odd Couple.

[1:35:39] It was The Sunshine Boys.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:41] Xander,

[1:35:42] surely you've thought of this.

[1:35:43] What's your answer?

[1:35:44] Oh, yeah.

[1:35:45] All the time.

S4

[1:35:45] I'm always daydreaming about it.

[1:35:47] I don't know.

[1:35:48] I mean, it's like,

[1:35:49] I mean, it's like,

[1:35:49] you know,

[1:35:49] maybe the strategy

[1:35:50] would go for like

[1:35:50] a Norman Bates

[1:35:51] when he's just like

[1:35:52] not looking.

[1:35:53] You know,

[1:35:54] he's just going about

[1:35:55] the business,

[1:35:55] you know,

[1:35:56] like mopping or whatever

[1:35:57] and you just get him

[1:35:58] in a headlock or something.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:00] Yeah, well,

[1:36:00] first you got to

[1:36:01] Mrs. Doubtfire him.

[1:36:03] So he thinks you're his mom

[1:36:04] and then you kill him.

[1:36:06] Oh, yeah.

S4

[1:36:06] Then he's all discombobulated.

[1:36:08] You can do whatever you want.

[1:36:09] Yeah,

[1:36:09] kick him out a window

[1:36:10] or whatever.

[1:36:11] Yeah,

[1:36:11] either that

[1:36:12] or, you know,

[1:36:13] somebody like Mama

[1:36:15] from the movie Mama

[1:36:17] that like,

[1:36:18] the freaky like thing,

[1:36:19] but she'd take care of you

[1:36:20] for a while

[1:36:21] and then you'd probably

[1:36:22] just like leave home

[1:36:23] and never call.

[1:36:25] Like, wait,

Dan McCoy

[1:36:26] the evil ghost Mama?

S4

[1:36:27] Yeah.

[1:36:28] Yeah, yeah.

[1:36:29] Yeah, that makes sense.

[1:36:29] But you'd just never call

[1:36:30] and then you'd,

[1:36:31] you know,

[1:36:31] she'd kind of,

[1:36:32] she'd break her hip

[1:36:32] and you'd put her in a home

[1:36:33] or whatever,

[1:36:34] you know.

[1:36:34] Make a ghost hip, yeah.

[1:36:35] You'd just break her heart that way.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:36] Yeah.

[1:36:36] At one point,

[1:36:37] isn't Mama just a wig

[1:36:38] walking around on the ground

[1:36:40] like a tribble?

[1:36:41] That seems like a pretty easy time

[1:36:42] to get rid of her, right?

[1:36:43] Yeah, yeah.

[1:36:43] That'd be your moment.

[1:36:45] Yeah.

[1:36:46] But that's,

[1:36:47] the,

[1:36:48] it really made,

[1:36:48] this question really made me think about

[1:36:49] like,

[1:36:50] what is,

[1:36:50] what do I consider

[1:36:51] a horror movie villain

[1:36:52] and what's a horror movie?

[1:36:56] You know?

[1:36:56] Because I guess Gremlins 2

[1:36:57] is not really a horror movie.

[1:36:57] What's a movie?

[1:36:58] A cereal box?

[1:36:59] And what's,

[1:36:59] and a movie's just a cereal box.

[1:37:01] So I guess I'd say

[1:37:01] it's Count Chocula

[1:37:02] or maybe like,

[1:37:03] maybe I'd go after Boo Berry

[1:37:04] because I'm like,

[1:37:05] come on, man.

[1:37:05] You're not even a specific thing.

[1:37:07] You're just a ghost.

S4

[1:37:08] Come on.

[1:37:08] There was a lot of discourse

[1:37:09] last week about

[1:37:10] that horror movies

[1:37:11] can't be set in space.

[1:37:12] Somebody,

[1:37:12] somebody made that,

[1:37:13] the hot take.

[1:37:14] Wait,

[1:37:14] where was this discourse?

[1:37:16] Oh,

[1:37:16] on Twitter.

[1:37:17] You know,

[1:37:17] the hell hole of the universe.

[1:37:19] Yeah.

[1:37:19] Somebody,

[1:37:20] somebody just said

[1:37:21] that horror can't be set in space

[1:37:22] for,

[1:37:22] I mean,

[1:37:23] for the most dubious reasons.

[1:37:25] And of course,

[1:37:25] everybody had to pile on

[1:37:27] this poor person.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:28] And then Samuel ripped out his eyes

[1:37:29] and was like,

[1:37:30] check this out, dude.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:31] I can see so much now.

[1:37:33] And then,

[1:37:34] and the,

[1:37:34] the xenomorph is sitting there

[1:37:36] being like,

[1:37:36] excuse me.

[1:37:37] Excuse me.

[1:37:38] I'm right here.

[1:37:38] Excuse me, sir.

[1:37:40] Chopped liver.

[1:37:41] Xenomorph did a spit take

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:43] and then it's little mouth

[1:37:43] did a spit take.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:47] Wait,

[1:37:47] so does he have two,

[1:37:48] two glasses?

[1:37:49] One for the,

[1:37:50] a big one for the big mouth

[1:37:51] and a little one,

[1:37:51] like a shot glass

[1:37:52] for the little mouth.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:55] What is your favorite

[1:37:56] of the cereal monsters?

[1:37:59] I,

[1:37:59] I am partial to Boo Berry

[1:38:01] because I think he looks

[1:38:02] kind of like he's like

[1:38:02] a cool jazz musician.

[1:38:04] And,

[1:38:05] uh,

[1:38:05] yeah,

[1:38:06] he's the ghost from soul.

[1:38:07] I like his vibe.

[1:38:08] Uh,

[1:38:08] but like,

[1:38:10] what do you got?

[1:38:10] You got that,

[1:38:11] you got Frankenberry,

[1:38:12] you got Count Chocula,

S4

[1:38:14] you got Fruit Brute,

[1:38:15] who is a werewolf.

[1:38:17] Yeah.

[1:38:17] Only in the Tarantino universe.

[1:38:20] Yeah.

[1:38:22] I like that Boo Berry.

[1:38:24] He's got a hat.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:26] That's all it takes for me.

[1:38:27] I like a monster.

[1:38:27] I like a Frankenberry,

[1:38:28] I think.

[1:38:28] Frankenberry's pretty cool.

S4

[1:38:29] Yeah,

[1:38:30] I like,

[1:38:30] I'm always,

[1:38:31] I'm always drawn to

[1:38:31] Frankenstein type monsters.

[1:38:33] See,

[1:38:34] I,

[1:38:34] Frankenstein's monster type monsters.

[1:38:36] Thank you.

[1:38:37] Oh,

[1:38:37] thank goodness.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:38] Uh,

[1:38:38] I,

[1:38:38] I think I'm gonna have to go

[1:38:39] with Count Chocula

[1:38:40] because I like chocolate

[1:38:41] and I do like vampires.

[1:38:42] No matter what Dan says,

[1:38:43] I like them.

[1:38:44] I think they have,

[1:38:44] they embody the scariest thing,

[1:38:46] sex.

[1:38:46] And so that's,

[1:38:48] and unlike Frankenstein's monster

[1:38:49] who is not sexy at all.

[1:38:51] Although,

[1:38:51] you know what?

[1:38:52] I don't know.

[1:38:52] He's got a certain kind of,

[1:38:54] kind of affection to him.

[1:38:55] He's got,

[1:38:55] he feels like a,

[1:38:56] he's like Dracula,

[1:38:58] there's no long term relationship there

[1:38:59] which is ironic

[1:39:00] because he's immortal.

[1:39:01] But Frankenstein's monster,

[1:39:02] I feel like you could really

[1:39:03] make a connection with him.

[1:39:03] He's looking for love.

[1:39:04] That's why he's so sad

[1:39:05] at the end of

[1:39:05] Bride of Frankenstein.

[1:39:06] You know what?

[1:39:07] Marry Frankenstein,

[1:39:09] fuck Dracula,

[1:39:10] and kill Boo Berry.

[1:39:12] He's already dead

[1:39:12] so I don't have any kill.

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:13] Boo Berry.

[1:39:14] He's already dead.

[1:39:15] So wait,

[1:39:15] what does that leave me with?

[1:39:16] Who do I get to be?

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:18] You get to be

[1:39:19] the Lucky Charms leprechaun

[1:39:21] who's kind of a monster.

[1:39:22] He's always tricking those kids,

[1:39:23] you know?

[1:39:23] Yeah,

[1:39:23] I guess,

[1:39:24] yeah,

[1:39:24] okay.

[1:39:25] I guess the Trix rabbit,

[1:39:26] he's kind of a monster

[1:39:27] because he loses all the time.

[1:39:28] Also tricking,

[1:39:29] yeah.

[1:39:29] Really?

[1:39:29] I guess the kids are the monsters.

[1:39:30] Captain Crunch,

[1:39:31] you don't know what kind of war crimes

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:34] he had to do

[1:39:34] to get those medals.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:36] Yeah,

[1:39:36] and Tony the Tiger

[1:39:37] with his blood red kerchief

[1:39:39] around his neck.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:43] There's one more letter.

[1:39:44] It's from Jerry.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:45] Yeah,

[1:39:45] yeah,

[1:39:45] there's one more cereal mascot.

[1:39:46] It's the toucan from Fruit Loose,

[1:39:47] but I didn't have anything

[1:39:48] to say about him.

[1:39:48] So thanks,

[1:39:49] Stan,

[1:39:49] for bringing it up.

[1:39:50] Put me on the spot.

[1:39:51] I guess,

[1:39:51] yeah,

[1:39:52] he's got like a Maurice Chevalier type,

[1:39:53] which makes sense.

[1:39:54] He's a toucan.

[1:39:54] Anyway,

[1:39:54] continue.

[1:39:55] Yeah,

[1:39:55] one more letter

[1:39:56] from Jared,

[1:39:56] last name with hell,

[1:39:57] who writes...

[1:39:57] Actually,

[1:39:58] I guess he's more of a David Niven type.

[1:39:59] Okay,

[1:40:00] forget it.

[1:40:00] I said David Niven

[1:40:02] as the toucan from Fruit Loops

[1:40:04] to play Count Chocula,

[1:40:06] probably like,

[1:40:07] you know,

[1:40:09] Frank Langella.

[1:40:09] He played Dracula that one time.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:11] And like,

[1:40:11] Bob Hoskins can play

[1:40:12] the Cookie Crisp burglar.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:14] For sure.

[1:40:15] For sure.

[1:40:16] That goes without saying.

[1:40:18] That's a great call.

[1:40:19] That's a great call.

[1:40:20] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:22] Jared,

[1:40:23] last name with hell,

[1:40:23] writes,

[1:40:24] Dear Peaches,

[1:40:25] when Maniac of New York

[1:40:26] inevitably becomes a hit film,

[1:40:29] would you consider deviating

[1:40:30] from your format

[1:40:31] and having a Maniac of New York episode?

[1:40:33] Could I sit and listen to it

[1:40:35] while playing with all the

[1:40:36] Burger King tie-in toys?

[1:40:38] Would you be able to give it

[1:40:39] some playful jabs?

[1:40:41] Can't wait for the 2027 premiere.

[1:40:43] P.S.

[1:40:44] Thanks in advance

[1:40:45] for the surprise Stuart cameo

[1:40:46] as Zoo Snake Expert.

[1:40:49] I will have been delighted

[1:40:50] to see that.

[1:40:51] Jared,

[1:40:51] last name with hell.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:52] It's actually too bad.

[1:40:53] I'm going to be playing

[1:40:54] two roles in that movie.

[1:40:55] One of them has a mustache.

[1:40:57] Zoo Snake Expert's one.

[1:40:58] The other,

[1:40:59] of course,

[1:40:59] my larger role

[1:41:00] that has a line

[1:41:01] is going to be

[1:41:02] the morgue attendant

[1:41:04] who is eating a sandwich.

[1:41:06] Yeah.

[1:41:06] Yeah,

[1:41:06] that's what I was saying.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:08] Revenously.

[1:41:09] I'm working on something now

[1:41:10] that has a morgue attendant

[1:41:11] at one point

[1:41:11] and I'm like,

[1:41:12] should he be eating a sandwich?

[1:41:13] They always do.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:16] Elliot,

[1:41:16] my career needs this.

[1:41:17] You have to.

[1:41:18] Now,

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:18] the scariest thing

[1:41:19] about this letter

[1:41:20] was not the idea

[1:41:21] of a Burger King tie-in

[1:41:22] for Maniac of New York,

[1:41:23] which this is not for kids.

[1:41:24] It's not your granddad's

[1:41:26] Friday the 13th type thing

[1:41:28] or Nightmare on Elm Street

[1:41:29] where you could

[1:41:30] merchandise it

[1:41:30] with dolls for children.

[1:41:32] But the idea

[1:41:33] that we would still

[1:41:33] be doing the podcast

[1:41:34] in 2027,

[1:41:35] which is effectively

[1:41:36] what,

[1:41:37] 20 years

[1:41:38] of us doing

[1:41:38] the podcast

[1:41:39] at that point?

[1:41:40] I mean,

[1:41:41] I'm game if you guys are,

[1:41:42] but that seems like

[1:41:42] a long time

[1:41:43] to be talking about

[1:41:44] bad movies.

[1:41:44] What do you think?

[1:41:45] Xander,

[1:41:46] as the pivot.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:47] Will they still be

[1:41:47] making bad movies

[1:41:49] by then?

[1:41:49] I think maybe

[1:41:50] they'll have figured

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:50] it out by then.

[1:41:51] They'll have the formula right.

[1:41:53] They'll all be making good ones.

[1:41:54] Xander,

S4

[1:41:54] okay.

[1:41:54] I can just see you guys

[1:41:55] taking your hat off

[1:41:56] and just throwing it

[1:41:57] on the ground.

[1:41:57] They've stopped

[1:41:58] making bad movies.

[1:41:59] It's just so frustrating.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:01] There's a big headline

[1:42:02] in the newspaper.

[1:42:03] Oh, no.

[1:42:03] I'm walking down the street

[1:42:04] and I'm like,

[1:42:04] life is sweet.

[1:42:06] Gonna celebrate

[1:42:06] 20 years of the Flophouse

[1:42:07] next year.

[1:42:08] And then a newsie

[1:42:09] runs by and goes,

[1:42:09] extra, extra.

[1:42:10] They figured it out.

[1:42:11] No more bad movies.

[1:42:12] Only goodies from now on.

[1:42:15] Hand me that paper.

[1:42:16] Tarnation.

Dan McCoy

[1:42:19] You're like reading

[1:42:20] through the paragraphs

[1:42:21] like, oh my God.

[1:42:23] It checks out.

[1:42:24] They did it.

[1:42:25] That would work.

[1:42:26] It all checks out.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:27] How am I going to pay

[1:42:27] my mortgage?

[1:42:30] I'll finally have bought

[1:42:31] a house by then.

[1:42:32] Oh, good.

[1:42:33] That has a mortgage.

[1:42:34] I don't think

[1:42:35] you're paying cash.

Dan McCoy

[1:42:36] I mean, if we're fantasizing,

[1:42:38] why do you have to have

[1:42:39] a mortgage in this?

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:41] But I'm not wearing pants.

[1:42:43] That's the fantasy part.

[1:42:44] That's the fantasy.

[1:42:45] Because normally in life,

[1:42:46] I'm forced to wear pants

[1:42:47] at all times.

[1:42:49] Even in the bathtub.

[1:42:51] By social customs.

[1:42:52] And even in the bathtub.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:54] Yeah.

[1:42:54] But you do take a bath

[1:42:55] in a store window.

[1:42:57] So that's why.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:57] I do, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:59] Yeah, Stuart's famous.

[1:42:59] With all the other puppies.

[1:43:01] If you're ever in New York City,

[1:43:02] just go to the pet shop

[1:43:03] that Stu works part-time in

[1:43:04] as a display window bathtub

[1:43:07] being in her,

[1:43:08] hanging out with puppies

[1:43:09] in pants.

[1:43:10] Don't worry, he's wearing pants.

[1:43:11] Yeah.

[1:43:12] Xander, would you stick with us

[1:43:13] to the year 2027?

S4

[1:43:15] Oh, absolutely.

[1:43:16] I still got comics to draw.

[1:43:17] Like, what do you think?

[1:43:18] I'm listening to nothing?

[1:43:20] Or music?

[1:43:21] Like an idiot?

[1:43:22] You listen to something.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:22] Like a moron?

[1:43:23] Like a chump?

[1:43:25] Wasting your time on musical notes?

[1:43:28] Yeah.

[1:43:28] Dumb.

[1:43:28] You heard me, Boo Berry,

[1:43:30] you jazz musician?

[1:43:31] Get out of here.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:31] Listening to something that might,

[1:43:34] you know,

[1:43:34] soothe you or bring you joy

[1:43:36] or feel emotion

[1:43:37] rather than just

[1:43:38] three idiots yap

[1:43:40] about something dumb?

[1:43:41] Infuriate me.

[1:43:41] Yeah.

[1:43:42] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:45] Okay.

[1:43:46] Well, let's move on.

[1:43:47] That's us.

[1:43:47] Three idiots yap

[1:43:48] about something dumb.

[1:43:49] And then I just start crying.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:52] Let's move on

[1:43:53] to recommendations.

[1:43:55] I got a quick one.

[1:43:57] This is called

[1:44:00] The Wolf House

[1:44:00] from 2018.

[1:44:03] You can find it on...

[1:44:04] Wolf Hall?

[1:44:05] No, not the...

[1:44:05] Yeah, I think you mean

[1:44:06] Wolf Hall.

[1:44:06] Not Wolf Hall,

[1:44:07] the Hillary Mantle books.

[1:44:10] In the Company of Wolves?

[1:44:11] Or the adaptation

[1:44:12] of the same.

[1:44:15] I think you mean Wolf

[1:44:15] with Jack Nicholson.

[1:44:16] No, not the weird

[1:44:18] Mike Nichols movie about...

[1:44:20] Do you realize,

[1:44:20] I went back and looked at that.

[1:44:22] I saw it at the time.

[1:44:24] I had forgotten

[1:44:25] everything about it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:25] Because you were such a big

[1:44:26] Mike Nichols fan

[1:44:27] at the time

[1:44:27] when you were a kid.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:28] I was a fan of things

[1:44:29] that involved wolves.

[1:44:32] I mean, that sure changed.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:34] You were just telling us

[1:44:34] what weak babies

[1:44:36] werewolves are.

[1:44:37] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:37] Well, the man part

[1:44:39] is the weak part.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:40] Oh, fair.

[1:44:40] I had forgotten

[1:44:41] that that's in the

[1:44:42] high-powered world

[1:44:43] of publishing.

[1:44:44] Like, the cutthroat

[1:44:45] publishing world.

[1:44:46] And it's just so funny now

[1:44:47] that, like, publishing

[1:44:49] has been, you know,

[1:44:51] gone through so many travails.

[1:44:53] It's not...

[1:44:53] I mean, like,

[1:44:53] that part's not funny.

[1:44:54] I wish that we had

[1:44:55] a healthier publishing world.

[1:44:57] But, like,

[1:44:58] that's what he needs

[1:44:59] to be bitten by a wolf

[1:45:00] to succeed at,

[1:45:01] the cutthroat world.

[1:45:03] I'd assumed it was

[1:45:04] big business or something.

[1:45:06] But, anyway.

[1:45:07] The Wolf House.

[1:45:10] It is available...

[1:45:11] You can watch it on Shudder.

[1:45:12] It is an animated movie.

[1:45:15] It is a movie that

[1:45:16] it helps to have

[1:45:17] the context ahead of time

[1:45:20] that, like,

[1:45:22] you know,

[1:45:23] in Chile,

[1:45:24] under Pinochet,

[1:45:25] there was this cult.

[1:45:28] There was a lot of, like,

[1:45:29] horrific abuse

[1:45:30] that took place

[1:45:31] in part of this cult.

[1:45:32] It's, you know,

[1:45:33] it's...

[1:45:34] There's a very

[1:45:36] horrifying real-life history

[1:45:38] that this movie

[1:45:39] gestures to.

[1:45:41] And,

[1:45:41] without some sort of context,

[1:45:43] I think it would be

[1:45:45] sort of baffling

[1:45:46] what's going on.

[1:45:47] Because the plot is

[1:45:49] sort of not there

[1:45:51] in a traditional way.

[1:45:53] It's about a young

[1:45:54] girl who,

[1:45:56] you know,

[1:45:57] finds this

[1:45:57] house in the forest,

[1:46:00] a manned house,

[1:46:00] and it's sort of like

[1:46:01] this fairy tale situation

[1:46:03] where the house

[1:46:04] kind of morphs around her

[1:46:06] and,

[1:46:07] you know,

[1:46:08] she adopts these two pigs

[1:46:09] that turn into children

[1:46:10] and it's...

[1:46:13] Basically,

[1:46:15] it's all getting at

[1:46:16] kind of the rot,

[1:46:17] the mental rot

[1:46:18] of having been subjected

[1:46:20] to this trauma

[1:46:21] and how that stays with you

[1:46:24] and how places

[1:46:25] can be sort of

[1:46:26] infected with this

[1:46:28] and you can pass it along.

[1:46:29] That's all very,

[1:46:30] like,

[1:46:30] upsetting.

[1:46:32] But the interesting thing

[1:46:33] about the movie

[1:46:34] that I have not mentioned yet

[1:46:35] is this is an animated film

[1:46:36] and it is done

[1:46:38] in a very interesting way.

[1:46:40] Like,

[1:46:40] it is...

[1:46:41] The house itself

[1:46:43] is like a physical set

[1:46:44] that they then

[1:46:45] paint on the walls

[1:46:47] to do animation.

[1:46:48] Like,

[1:46:48] there are like 2D characters

[1:46:50] that are painted

[1:46:50] that will move across the walls.

[1:46:52] Sometimes they'll leave the walls

[1:46:54] and sort of come into

[1:46:55] the 3D space

[1:46:55] and it's a paper mache,

[1:46:57] like,

[1:46:57] big sort of

[1:46:58] herky-jerky dolls.

[1:47:00] Like,

[1:47:00] the character

[1:47:01] will sort of

[1:47:02] disassemble itself

[1:47:04] into its component

[1:47:05] paper mache parts

[1:47:06] and reassemble itself

[1:47:07] differently.

[1:47:08] Like,

[1:47:09] the space

[1:47:10] is in constant flux.

[1:47:11] The characters

[1:47:11] are in constant flux.

[1:47:13] As an animated movie,

[1:47:15] it is one of the most

[1:47:16] sort of ambitious

[1:47:17] and interesting

[1:47:18] to look at things

[1:47:19] I've ever seen.

[1:47:21] as a traditional movie movie,

[1:47:24] it plays more like

[1:47:25] kind of an art installation

[1:47:26] than a film.

[1:47:27] Yeah.

[1:47:28] But it's,

[1:47:29] you know,

[1:47:29] under 80 minutes long.

[1:47:32] If you can handle

[1:47:33] kind of the...

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:33] Like that length.

[1:47:34] If you can handle

Dan McCoy

[1:47:35] the disquieting parts of it,

[1:47:37] the upsetting parts of it,

[1:47:38] it's a very interesting thing

[1:47:39] to see.

[1:47:40] So that's the whole house.

[1:47:40] It's animated,

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:41] so it's fun for the family.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:42] No.

[1:47:43] They do not watch this

[1:47:43] with any children.

[1:47:46] All right.

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:48] I'm gonna...

[1:47:49] It's time for Stuart

[1:47:50] to make a recommendation

[1:47:50] so you know what I'm doing.

[1:47:52] I'm pulling up

[1:47:52] my Shudder viewing history.

[1:47:54] Oh, boy.

[1:47:55] So, yeah,

[1:47:56] I'm gonna recommend

[1:47:57] a movie that is on Shudder.

[1:47:58] It's a movie from 1981,

[1:48:00] so I'm straying close

[1:48:01] to Elliot territory

[1:48:02] for an oldie.

[1:48:04] I'm recommending a movie

[1:48:05] called

[1:48:06] Butcher Baker Nightmare Maker.

[1:48:09] Kind of a weirdo horror movie

[1:48:12] about a young man

[1:48:14] who is living with his...

[1:48:15] A young orphaned man

[1:48:17] who is living with his aunt

[1:48:18] who has this, like,

[1:48:20] weird, dominant,

[1:48:22] almost sexual

[1:48:24] fascination

[1:48:26] with her nephew.

[1:48:28] The aunt is played

[1:48:30] by this woman,

[1:48:31] Susan Terrell,

[1:48:32] who is incredible.

[1:48:33] She is, like,

[1:48:33] way out there.

[1:48:35] This is a great, like,

[1:48:37] kind of...

[1:48:39] I would say this is a great,

[1:48:41] like, good, bad horror movie

[1:48:42] that is weird

[1:48:44] and has some strength,

[1:48:46] like, a lot of twists and turns

[1:48:48] and over-the-top performances.

[1:48:50] It's definitely,

[1:48:51] if you like,

[1:48:51] like a fun,

[1:48:53] cheapo,

[1:48:54] good, bad horror movie.

[1:48:55] Totally check this one out.

[1:48:57] I will say that it does have...

[1:48:59] It came out in 1981

[1:49:00] and it has a gay panic subplot

[1:49:03] that is...

[1:49:06] I'm not...

[1:49:07] In no way am I going to say

[1:49:08] it's progressive,

[1:49:09] but it is...

[1:49:10] It didn't quite go

[1:49:11] in the directions

[1:49:11] I expected it to

[1:49:12] for being a movie

[1:49:14] that came out in 1981.

[1:49:16] And all in all,

[1:49:17] I think it's...

[1:49:17] If you like weirdo,

[1:49:19] good, bad horror movies,

[1:49:20] check it out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:49:22] Before I get to my recommendation,

[1:49:23] I want to mention,

[1:49:24] here's a way to tie that

[1:49:25] into previous discussion

[1:49:26] in this episode

[1:49:27] so it seems less like

[1:49:28] I was just talking

[1:49:28] about random nonsense.

[1:49:30] Susan Terrell was also

[1:49:31] in the great movie

[1:49:31] Fat City

[1:49:32] with Stacey Keach.

[1:49:33] So that's why I talked

[1:49:34] about Stacey Keach

[1:49:35] earlier in the episode.

[1:49:36] Okay.

[1:49:37] Okay, it all ties together.

[1:49:38] It all makes sense.

[1:49:39] Oh, yeah.

[1:49:39] You're on base.

[1:49:40] You're on base.

[1:49:40] Okay, good, good.

[1:49:42] Xander, do you want to go

[1:49:43] with your recommendation?

[1:49:44] Next, Drew,

[1:49:44] would you like me to go first?

S4

[1:49:46] So I'll keep...

[1:49:47] I'll stay in my...

[1:49:49] On brand

[1:49:50] for the kaiju guy

[1:49:52] who comes in.

[1:49:53] But...

[1:49:53] So I have a couple

[1:49:55] recommendations.

[1:49:56] One, of course,

[1:49:57] is...

[1:49:58] These are all

[1:49:59] a couple years old.

[1:50:00] Shin Godzilla,

[1:50:02] which is the most recent

[1:50:05] Japanese kaiju movie.

[1:50:07] And it's interesting

[1:50:08] in that, one,

[1:50:09] there's only one monster.

[1:50:10] And two,

[1:50:12] it, as a Godzilla movie,

[1:50:13] it doesn't even take

[1:50:14] into account

[1:50:15] the original Godzilla movie,

[1:50:18] which most sort of,

[1:50:19] like, reboots of Godzilla

[1:50:20] have sort of said,

[1:50:21] oh, we haven't seen

[1:50:22] this monster since 1954.

[1:50:24] But he came that one time,

[1:50:26] but never again.

[1:50:27] But this one is like,

[1:50:29] this is a never-before-seen thing.

[1:50:31] And instead of sort of saying,

[1:50:32] oh, it's, you know,

[1:50:34] it's a metaphor

[1:50:35] for nuclear power,

[1:50:36] or nuclear weapons,

[1:50:39] it's a metaphor

[1:50:39] for, like,

[1:50:40] the Fukushima nuclear disaster

[1:50:42] and the absolute mess

[1:50:44] that the government made

[1:50:46] with that.

[1:50:48] And it has

[1:50:49] beautiful monster design.

[1:50:50] It is,

[1:50:50] it's done by

[1:50:52] the guy who made

[1:50:53] Neon Genesis Evangelion,

[1:50:55] so it's, like,

[1:50:56] super fast-paced

[1:50:57] and a beautiful film.

[1:51:00] I do not recommend

[1:51:02] watching the original

[1:51:03] King Kong vs. Godzilla

[1:51:04] because I was re-watching

[1:51:05] that a little bit ago,

[1:51:06] and it is extremely racist.

[1:51:09] There's a whole section

[1:51:11] of blackface

[1:51:12] that you will go,

[1:51:14] wow,

[1:51:14] I really forgot

[1:51:15] that that was in that,

[1:51:17] you know,

[1:51:17] and that every movie

[1:51:19] in the 60s

[1:51:19] had to have that kind of,

[1:51:21] like,

[1:51:21] bewildered natives

[1:51:23] being given

[1:51:24] a radio

[1:51:26] and freaking out

[1:51:27] about it.

[1:51:30] And then my final

[1:51:31] recommendation is

[1:51:32] if you enjoy

[1:51:33] the kookiness

[1:51:33] of Godzilla vs. Kong,

[1:51:37] I recommend

[1:51:37] King Kong Escapes,

[1:51:39] the Rankin Bass

[1:51:42] slash Toho production

[1:51:43] where they,

[1:51:45] where King Kong

[1:51:46] fights his

[1:51:47] metal doppelganger,

[1:51:49] the Mecha Kong,

[1:51:50] which is the first

[1:51:52] mechanical kaiju

[1:51:53] to appear.

[1:51:55] And it is horrible.

[1:51:57] It's a horrible movie

[1:51:58] and it's delightful.

[1:51:59] It's one of the best

[1:52:00] King Kong movies

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:01] I've ever seen.

[1:52:02] I remember as a kid

[1:52:02] really loving that movie

[1:52:04] and loving the design

[1:52:05] of that robot Kong.

[1:52:07] it's just like,

[1:52:09] that's a movie

[1:52:10] we're making this

[1:52:11] for kids, right?

[1:52:12] Okay, good.

[1:52:12] Let's just do it.

[1:52:13] Like, let's kid it up.

S4

[1:52:14] Well, and it's the opposite

[1:52:15] of all the modern

[1:52:16] sort of, like,

[1:52:17] mechanical design

[1:52:19] there's very few shapes.

[1:52:20] You know,

[1:52:21] it's just like,

[1:52:21] here's the mouth shape,

[1:52:23] here's the eye shape,

[1:52:24] and it's,

[1:52:24] and it's, like,

[1:52:25] elegant instead of just

[1:52:26] being a whole bunch

[1:52:27] of stuff crammed together.

[1:52:28] Yeah.

[1:52:29] Super busy lights

Stuart Wellington

[1:52:30] flashing things

[1:52:31] whirling around.

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:32] That was with

[1:52:33] the Mechagodzilla

[1:52:33] design in this one,

[1:52:35] in Godzilla vs. Kong,

[1:52:36] it was like,

[1:52:37] yeah, there were a lot

[1:52:37] of moving parts,

[1:52:38] and it was hard

[1:52:39] for my eye at sometimes

[1:52:40] to, like,

[1:52:40] make a humanoid

[1:52:42] or Godzillaoid shape

[1:52:43] out of them,

[1:52:44] you know,

[1:52:44] because there was

[1:52:44] so much stuff going on.

[1:52:45] But yeah,

[1:52:46] that robot Kong

[1:52:47] is just like,

[1:52:48] yeah,

[1:52:49] there's a lot of

[1:52:49] curved metal pieces

[1:52:50] that are just

[1:52:51] kind of bolted together.

[1:52:52] Like, he always reminded me,

[1:52:53] I guess it looks

[1:52:53] like a King Kong.

[1:52:54] It's like if King Kong

[1:52:56] was an antique submarine,

[1:52:58] kind of.

[1:52:58] Like, that's kind of

[1:52:59] the design to me.

S4

[1:53:00] Right, yeah,

[1:53:01] and that there would be,

[1:53:01] like, bolts

[1:53:02] as if he were made

[1:53:03] in 1962

[1:53:04] or whenever

[1:53:04] this movie came out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:05] Yeah.

[1:53:06] I don't have

[1:53:08] a Godzilla movie

[1:53:08] to recommend,

[1:53:09] but I do have

[1:53:09] a Japanese movie

[1:53:10] to recommend.

[1:53:11] Oh, yeah,

[1:53:12] because they,

[1:53:14] you know,

[1:53:14] I hadn't watched

[1:53:15] a Japanese movie

[1:53:15] in a while,

[1:53:16] and I said,

[1:53:16] oh, I'm going

[1:53:17] to watch one.

[1:53:17] So I watched

[1:53:18] A Cult Is My Passport.

[1:53:20] It's a Yakuza film

[1:53:21] from 1967.

[1:53:22] It's directed by

[1:53:23] Takashi Nomura

[1:53:24] and it stars

[1:53:24] Joe Shishido,

[1:53:25] who you may know

[1:53:26] as the Japanese actor

[1:53:28] from the 60s

[1:53:28] who had his cheeks

[1:53:29] artificially bigened,

[1:53:32] so he always looks

[1:53:32] like a chipmunk

[1:53:33] that's carrying nuts

[1:53:34] in his cheeks

[1:53:34] and it's very off-putting

[1:53:36] until you get used to it.

[1:53:38] I've seen a bunch

[1:53:39] of crime movies

[1:53:40] with him in them

[1:53:40] and he's always

[1:53:41] supposed to be

[1:53:42] the toughest,

[1:53:42] baddest-ass guy,

[1:53:43] but he's got these,

[1:53:44] like, weird chipmunk cheeks.

[1:53:45] Anyway,

[1:53:46] it's an interesting thing

[1:53:48] that he did

[1:53:49] to differentiate himself

[1:53:50] from other Japanese actors

[1:53:51] at the time,

[1:53:51] but long-time listeners

[1:53:53] will know I am not a fan

[1:53:54] of hitman movies,

[1:53:55] usually,

[1:53:56] but this is one

[1:53:57] where Joe Shishido

[1:53:58] plays a hitman.

[1:54:00] He and his partner

[1:54:00] are hired by

[1:54:01] one Yakuza family

[1:54:03] to kill the boss

[1:54:04] of another Yakuza family

[1:54:05] and after they do it,

[1:54:06] they get totally sold out

[1:54:07] and now they're

[1:54:08] in hiding and on the run

[1:54:09] and now they're up

[1:54:10] against these two families

[1:54:12] working together,

[1:54:12] basically,

[1:54:13] and it's super

[1:54:14] kind of 60s

[1:54:16] new wave cool style.

[1:54:18] It's very, like,

[1:54:19] laid back

[1:54:19] and very jazzy.

[1:54:23] There's a lot of neat things

[1:54:24] with, like,

[1:54:25] fast cuts and stuff

[1:54:26] and there is a gunfight

[1:54:27] at the end

[1:54:28] which takes place

[1:54:29] in a totally featureless

[1:54:31] void of a desert

[1:54:32] kind of space

[1:54:33] in which Joe Shishido

[1:54:35] somehow still manages

[1:54:36] to kill everybody

[1:54:37] and never get hit

[1:54:38] by a bullet

[1:54:38] even though there's

[1:54:39] nothing to hide behind

[1:54:40] and they're all

[1:54:41] just kind of standing there.

S4

[1:54:42] That sounds like

[1:54:43] the end of a lot of comics

[1:54:44] that I've drawn

[1:54:44] where you're like,

[1:54:45] you know what would

[1:54:45] really speed this along?

[1:54:47] There's no backgrounds.

[1:54:48] No backgrounds.

Elliott Kalan

[1:54:49] Or the same way

[1:54:50] Godzilla movies,

[1:54:50] even if they started

[1:54:51] in a city,

[1:54:52] they always ended up

[1:54:52] on some kind of, like,

[1:54:54] grassy plain

[1:54:55] with, like,

[1:54:55] little trees

[1:54:56] and maybe a small hills

[1:54:57] and you're like,

[1:54:57] weren't they in a city

[1:54:58] like a second ago?

[1:55:00] But it's a fun,

[1:55:04] tight little kind of,

[1:55:05] you know,

[1:55:06] new wavy,

[1:55:08] you know,

[1:55:09] crime movie

[1:55:10] where it's all about

[1:55:11] how basically

[1:55:12] the life of crime

[1:55:13] is a really depressing one

[1:55:14] in an existential fashion.

[1:55:16] So,

[1:55:16] Occult is my passport.

[1:55:17] It may be on the

[1:55:18] Criterion channel

[1:55:19] right now.

[1:55:20] I don't know.

[1:55:21] But it is available

[1:55:22] through them on DVD.

[1:55:24] That's a lot

[1:55:25] of recommendations.

[1:55:26] A lot of them.

[1:55:27] A lot of recommendations.

[1:55:28] There's got to be

Dan McCoy

[1:55:29] one in there

[1:55:30] for someone to like.

[1:55:31] All of you must do

[1:55:32] your homework

[1:55:32] over this next

[1:55:33] space

[1:55:35] until the next episode.

[1:55:37] But,

[1:55:38] for now,

[1:55:38] thank you,

[1:55:39] Xander,

[1:55:40] for coming

[1:55:40] and being a guest.

[1:55:42] At short notice,

[1:55:44] as well,

[1:55:44] is there a place

[1:55:46] where people can find you?

[1:55:47] Is there a thing

[1:55:48] that you would like to plug?

[1:55:49] I mean,

[1:55:49] within reason.

[1:55:50] I know you don't want

[1:55:50] people showing up

[1:55:51] at your house.

[1:55:51] Well,

[1:55:52] I mean,

[1:55:52] I'm offering him.

[1:55:53] He said would like.

[1:55:55] Would like.

Elliott Kalan

[1:55:55] Okay,

[1:55:55] that's fair.

[1:55:56] I mean,

[1:55:56] it's not like Dan

[1:55:57] challenging a vampire

[1:55:58] to show up

[1:55:59] at any moment.

Dan McCoy

[1:56:01] No,

[1:56:01] just one vampire,

[1:56:02] Elliot.

[1:56:03] Right.

[1:56:03] Dracula.

[1:56:04] The main one.

Stuart Wellington

[1:56:06] Dracula,

[1:56:06] I only have time

[1:56:07] to fight at four

[1:56:08] in the afternoon.

Elliott Kalan

[1:56:10] Right,

[1:56:10] exactly.

S4

[1:56:13] Well,

[1:56:14] I mean,

[1:56:14] people can find me

[1:56:15] on Twitter,

[1:56:15] Xander underscore

[1:56:16] Canon.

[1:56:18] And if you want

[1:56:19] to find me

[1:56:19] on Facebook,

[1:56:20] you could,

[1:56:20] but I'm not going

[1:56:20] to answer anything

[1:56:21] because I don't even

[1:56:22] look at that thing.

[1:56:24] And yeah,

[1:56:25] my comics,

[1:56:26] my comic is called

[1:56:26] Kaiju Max

[1:56:27] and you can find it

[1:56:28] virtually any online retailer.

[1:56:31] I actually recommend

[1:56:32] bookshop.org

[1:56:33] if you want to

[1:56:35] not feed Amazon

[1:56:36] for a moment

[1:56:37] because it will

[1:56:39] sort of source it

[1:56:39] from local bookstores.

[1:56:41] I don't know

[1:56:41] how they do it,

[1:56:42] but they figure it out.

[1:56:43] They just order it

[1:56:44] off Amazon

Stuart Wellington

[1:56:45] and they tell you

[1:56:45] that they have

[1:56:46] that local store.

[1:56:46] They order it off Amazon

[1:56:47] at deep discounts.

[1:56:48] Yeah.

[1:56:49] I got to say,

[1:56:50] when I bought

[1:56:50] the first Kaiju Max

[1:56:51] trade,

[1:56:52] I bought it

[1:56:53] for Ben Planet

[1:56:53] in New York

[1:56:54] and I think

[1:56:56] it was filed

[1:56:57] in the young adult

[1:56:59] children's section

[1:56:59] and I'm like,

[1:57:00] that's fucking crazy.

S4

[1:57:02] Yeah,

[1:57:03] I can't tell you

[1:57:03] how many times

[1:57:04] people tell me

[1:57:04] that they got it

[1:57:05] in the children's section

[1:57:06] and it's like,

[1:57:06] oh God.

[1:57:08] or I had to explain

[1:57:10] to a woman

[1:57:10] at a Paris Comic Con

[1:57:12] that her child

[1:57:14] who was looking

[1:57:15] through it

[1:57:16] was like,

[1:57:16] please don't

[1:57:17] and she only spoke

[1:57:18] Italian

[1:57:18] and I was like,

[1:57:19] uh,

[1:57:20] uh.

[1:57:20] So we're trying

[1:57:21] to find a language

[1:57:23] that we spoke

[1:57:24] in common

[1:57:24] and so she had

[1:57:26] to hear some

[1:57:26] second grade

[1:57:27] or some sixth grade

[1:57:28] Spanish from me.

[1:57:30] Yeah.

[1:57:31] But,

[1:57:31] uh,

[1:57:31] but yeah,

[1:57:32] it's really,

[1:57:32] I mean,

[1:57:33] I need to do

[1:57:34] something that's

[1:57:35] for all ages next

[1:57:36] because people think

[1:57:37] that they always

[1:57:38] think that it's,

[1:57:39] yeah,

[1:57:40] they really do.

Elliott Kalan

[1:57:41] And Kaiju Max,

[1:57:41] like I can't,

[1:57:42] I can't say enough

[1:57:43] what a,

[1:57:43] what a great series

[1:57:44] it is and how

[1:57:45] you take something

[1:57:45] that seems like

[1:57:47] it should be

[1:57:48] kind of like

[1:57:49] a sketch premise,

[1:57:50] like a kind of,

[1:57:50] like a joke premise

[1:57:51] about,

[1:57:52] oh,

[1:57:52] there's a,

[1:57:53] there's a prison

[1:57:54] for the big monsters

[1:57:55] and turn it into like,

[1:57:57] oh,

[1:57:57] these are real characters

[1:57:58] and they have real

[1:57:59] hates and loves

[1:58:00] and bad pasts

[1:58:01] and,

[1:58:01] and tragic futures

[1:58:03] and like,

[1:58:04] they,

[1:58:05] and their,

[1:58:05] their traumas linger

[1:58:06] from one,

[1:58:07] you know,

[1:58:08] experience to the next

[1:58:08] and it just,

[1:58:09] it,

[1:58:10] every time I read it,

[1:58:10] I'm like,

[1:58:11] there,

[1:58:11] there are parts

[1:58:12] where I'm laughing

[1:58:12] and then by the end

[1:58:13] of the series,

[1:58:13] I'm like crying

[1:58:14] and I'm like,

[1:58:15] why am I crying

[1:58:15] about this,

[1:58:16] this like,

[1:58:17] this Mechagodzilla

[1:58:18] character,

[1:58:18] you know?

[1:58:19] Right,

[1:58:19] yeah,

Dan McCoy

[1:58:19] these dumbest

[1:58:20] possible characters,

[1:58:21] yeah,

S4

[1:58:21] no,

[1:58:22] I mean,

[1:58:22] it was,

[1:58:23] it was that

[1:58:23] when I,

[1:58:24] when I proposed it,

[1:58:24] it was just like,

[1:58:26] here's,

[1:58:26] here are these two

[1:58:30] items long

[1:58:31] and then,

[1:58:32] you know,

[1:58:33] and then I get bored

[1:58:33] with doing that

[1:58:34] and so I have to make

[1:58:35] it really depressing

[1:58:35] or,

[1:58:36] or really melancholy

[1:58:37] I should say.

[1:58:38] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:58:38] Yeah,

[1:58:38] there was a run,

[1:58:39] I can't remember

[1:58:40] which season it was

[1:58:41] but there was a run

[1:58:41] where it was like,

[1:58:42] I would,

[1:58:42] I'd have to like

[1:58:43] prepare myself

[1:58:44] for each issue,

[1:58:44] I'm like,

[1:58:45] this is gonna

[1:58:45] fucking crush me.

[1:58:47] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:48] No,

[1:58:48] I gotta get ready

Stuart Wellington

[1:58:49] for this.

[1:58:50] I mean,

[1:58:50] it's great though.

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:51] No,

[1:58:51] but it is,

[1:58:52] and it,

[1:58:52] that you do,

[1:58:53] it,

[1:58:53] I mean,

[1:58:53] it's another prison thing

[1:58:54] but like,

[1:58:55] like in Orange is the New Black

[1:58:56] you'll introduce a character

[1:58:57] as kind of a background character

[1:58:58] and then give that character

[1:59:00] their moment later to,

[1:59:01] I'm thinking of,

[1:59:02] there's the,

[1:59:02] the like,

[1:59:04] Elder God Lovecraft style,

[1:59:06] a woman character

[1:59:07] who,

[1:59:08] she's got like a,

[1:59:09] it's like a cattle skull

[1:59:10] with worms coming out of it

[1:59:11] and,

[1:59:12] Yeah,

Dan McCoy

[1:59:12] goat is her name.

Elliott Kalan

[1:59:13] Yeah,

[1:59:13] goat and how like,

[1:59:15] when she first showed up

[1:59:16] it's like,

[1:59:16] oh,

[1:59:17] I get this joke

[1:59:17] that it's like,

[1:59:18] she's like a,

[1:59:19] you know,

[1:59:19] like a,

[1:59:20] a poor drug addict

[1:59:21] but who's an elder god

[1:59:22] and then when she gets her story

[1:59:25] oh,

[1:59:25] this is heartbreaking.

[1:59:26] Like,

[1:59:26] I want,

[1:59:27] I feel for this character,

[1:59:28] I feel,

[1:59:28] I feel for goats so badly,

[1:59:30] you know.

[1:59:31] It does,

[1:59:31] and it makes it sound,

[1:59:32] it makes the book,

[1:59:33] the way we're describing it

[1:59:34] makes it sound depressing

[1:59:34] but it's just,

[1:59:35] it's a,

[1:59:36] it's a book that could be

[1:59:37] just a joke

[1:59:38] but it's a really moving book,

[1:59:39] you know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:59:40] Yeah,

[1:59:40] I have a lot of respect

[1:59:41] for taking something

[1:59:42] that seems silly

[1:59:43] and treating it

[1:59:44] deadly serious.

S4

[1:59:47] But I mean,

[1:59:48] I do want it to always be absurd.

[1:59:50] Like,

[1:59:51] there's a,

[1:59:51] there,

[1:59:52] and I feel like

[1:59:52] people have said that like,

[1:59:54] oh,

[1:59:54] I didn't like the artwork

[1:59:55] when I first saw it

[1:59:57] because I didn't think it was,

[1:59:58] you know,

[1:59:58] substantial enough

[1:59:59] but it's like,

[2:00:00] but then they realized,

[2:00:01] oh,

[2:00:01] if it were,

[2:00:03] I don't know,

[2:00:03] more vivid

[2:00:03] or more realistic,

[2:00:05] you wouldn't like it.

[2:00:06] You wouldn't tolerate it.

[2:00:07] It would be so,

[2:00:08] it would be so unpleasant.

[2:00:10] You know,

[2:00:10] I need it to be

Stuart Wellington

[2:00:11] Stephen Bissett level detail.

[2:00:14] Right.

S4

[2:00:15] Well,

[2:00:15] and I mean,

[2:00:16] there was a,

[2:00:17] Ryan Brown,

[2:00:18] who you may know,

[2:00:18] he does a comic called

[2:00:20] The Curse Words

[2:00:20] and God Hates Astronauts

[2:00:21] was going to be

[2:00:22] the original artist on it

[2:00:23] and I feel like

[2:00:24] I would have written it

[2:00:24] very differently for him

[2:00:26] because it would have been so,

[2:00:28] his style is really,

[2:00:30] you know,

[2:00:30] it's like he,

[2:00:31] it feels more solid

[2:00:33] and it feels more realistic

[2:00:34] and it feels more sort of,

[2:00:36] I don't know,

[2:00:36] it would be the difference

[2:00:38] between sort of like

[2:00:38] a 60s monster movie

[2:00:40] and a,

[2:00:40] and,

[2:00:42] you know,

[2:00:42] the Godzilla vs. Kong,

[2:00:43] you know,

[2:00:44] like it's,

[2:00:44] with the,

[2:00:45] how silly the,

[2:00:47] and how unreal things seem.

[2:00:49] You know,

[2:00:49] if he were doing it,

[2:00:50] it's like,

[2:00:51] all these really unpleasant stuff

[2:00:52] would be like twice as unpleasant

[2:00:54] and I don't,

[2:00:55] yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[2:00:55] There are some things

[2:00:56] in there that are,

[2:00:56] I mean,

[2:00:57] we should also say

[2:00:57] for people

[2:00:58] that there are certain,

[2:01:00] there are things

[2:01:00] that happen to characters

[2:01:01] that are very unpleasant

[2:01:02] and very,

[2:01:03] there's sensitive material in there.

[2:01:06] You know.

[2:01:06] Yeah.

S4

[2:01:07] Yeah.

[2:01:07] I,

[2:01:07] I thought,

[2:01:08] I mean,

[2:01:09] when I was first doing it,

[2:01:10] I,

[2:01:10] I didn't like trigger warnings

[2:01:12] and content warnings

[2:01:13] weren't really a thing,

[2:01:14] but I would definitely

[2:01:15] sort of say that now

[2:01:17] yeah,

[2:01:17] there's some assault

[2:01:18] and,

[2:01:19] you know,

[2:01:19] and I,

[2:01:19] I kind of regret

[2:01:20] putting that in to a degree.

[2:01:21] I think it was,

[2:01:22] I played it off okay,

[2:01:23] but,

[2:01:23] you know,

[2:01:24] but it's,

[2:01:24] but as I look back

[2:01:25] and I'm like,

[2:01:26] I was probably doubling down

[2:01:28] on sort of like

[2:01:29] edgelordy stuff

[2:01:30] that I should have

[2:01:31] maybe,

[2:01:31] maybe thought twice about.

Elliott Kalan

[2:01:35] Anyway,

[2:01:35] it's,

[2:01:36] it's,

[2:01:36] really upsetting

[2:01:37] and it's a terrible book.

[2:01:38] Don't pick it up.

[2:01:39] Now you've convinced me.

[2:01:40] You convinced me.

[2:01:41] I feel bad reading it.

[2:01:42] No,

[2:01:42] it's a great book

[2:01:43] and thank you so much

[2:01:44] for joining us today.

[2:01:46] Thanks so much.

[2:01:46] Have you on,

[2:01:47] there's,

[2:01:47] there's no one we trust more

[2:01:49] with kaiju.

[2:01:50] Right,

S4

[2:01:51] good,

[2:01:51] good.

[2:01:52] I'm glad to be

[2:01:52] the absolute number one expert.

[2:01:57] Yes,

[2:01:57] thank you again.

[2:01:58] Well,

[2:01:58] thanks you guys.

[2:01:58] I really,

[2:01:59] I mean,

[2:01:59] I love the,

[2:02:00] I love the flop house.

[2:02:01] I list,

[2:02:02] I mean,

[2:02:02] I really do.

[2:02:03] Whenever I have to pencil

[2:02:04] a whole issue,

[2:02:04] I listen to probably,

[2:02:06] I don't know,

[2:02:07] 18 episodes back to back

[2:02:09] and I'll,

[2:02:10] sometimes I'll look at like

[2:02:11] a way that I've drawn a hand

[2:02:12] and I'll be like,

[2:02:13] I remember they were talking

[2:02:14] about Doolittle or something

[2:02:16] when I was doing that.

Stuart Wellington

[2:02:19] So when I'm watching,

[2:02:21] when I'm reading an issue

[2:02:22] and I'm like,

[2:02:22] man,

[2:02:22] these guys all look fucked up.

[2:02:24] I can blame

[2:02:24] Pan and Elliot myself.

[2:02:26] You can point those fingers

Dan McCoy

[2:02:27] right back at yourself.

[2:02:28] If listeners pick up the book now,

[2:02:30] just remember,

[2:02:31] while you're reading it,

[2:02:32] like we were talking about

[2:02:33] Doolittle or some shit

[2:02:34] while this is going on.

[2:02:38] Well,

[2:02:38] thank you to Jordan Cowling

[2:02:40] for producing the show.

[2:02:41] Thank you to MaximumFun.org.

[2:02:43] Go over there

[2:02:45] to find all sorts

[2:02:46] of other great podcasts.

[2:02:48] If you like this show,

[2:02:50] please spread the word

[2:02:51] either by leaving us

[2:02:52] a review on iTunes

[2:02:53] or via all your favorite

[2:02:55] social media

[2:02:57] or just talk to a human being

[2:02:58] for once in your goddamn lives.

[2:03:00] Come on, people.

[2:03:01] Yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[2:03:01] or take out a billboard ad

[2:03:02] or an ad in a local newspaper.

[2:03:04] They need the business.

[2:03:05] Skywriting.

Dan McCoy

[2:03:06] Probably the least effective,

[2:03:08] but sure,

[2:03:08] if you want to.

Elliott Kalan

[2:03:10] Unless you happen

[2:03:11] to be at that beach.

Dan McCoy

[2:03:12] At that second.

[2:03:14] I should listen

[2:03:15] to the floor

[2:03:16] poor.

[2:03:17] Okay,

[2:03:18] it's all.

[2:03:19] Now it's all gone.

Elliott Kalan

[2:03:20] Maybe it wasn't it.

[2:03:21] Maybe it was just clouds

[2:03:22] to begin with.

[2:03:22] Just clouds.

Dan McCoy

[2:03:23] But anyway,

[2:03:24] for the floor pors,

[2:03:25] I've been Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[2:03:27] Hey,

[2:03:27] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[2:03:29] I'm Ellie Kalin

[2:03:29] and we've been joined by

S4

[2:03:30] Xander Cannon,

[2:03:32] Kaiju expert number one.

Elliott Kalan

[2:03:36] Bye.

Dan McCoy

[2:03:46] On this episode,

[2:03:47] we discussed,

[2:03:48] wait,

[2:03:48] hold on.

[2:03:50] No,

[2:03:51] no,

[2:03:51] I'm looking at the,

[2:03:53] I was looking at the name

[2:03:54] because like,

[2:03:56] I can't remember.

[2:03:57] It's Godzilla versus Kong,

Elliott Kalan

[2:03:58] but it should be

[2:03:58] Kong versus Godzilla.

Dan McCoy

[2:03:59] Yes,

[2:04:00] I never remember which.

[2:04:02] Okay,

[2:04:03] anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[2:04:06] Maximumfun.org

S6

[2:04:07] Comedy and culture.

Dan McCoy

[2:04:09] Artist owned.

[2:04:10] Audience supported.

Ep. #341 - Godzilla vs. Kong, with Zander Cannon

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