FH Mini 137 - Stuster's Millions

[0:00] Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm... Wait

[0:11] for it. Wait for it. Big twist coming. Big twist coming. Elliot Kalin. The twist was

[0:16] that there was no twist. Yeah. Well, you certainly wasted some time, and that's what we like

[0:21] to do here on the Flophouse podcast. It's mostly a waste of time podcast. It is often

[0:27] one in Apple podcast app's wasting time section. Yeah. Often a podcast about bad movies, but

[0:34] every other week we do our somewhat inaccurately named Flophouse minis where we talk about

[0:41] just whatever. Usually still about movies. A lot of affirmations usually. Oh, really?

[0:47] Where we talk about the good things that each of us bring to the table. Yeah. I must have

[0:51] been out on those days. And we talk about our wildest, craziest, most embarrassing sex

[0:56] stories. So, Dan, you said you had a pretty amazing one to tell us about today. Dan's

[1:03] always bragging about his body count. Let's find out about it. That is not the topic of

[1:09] today's mini that I am leading. All right. Tune in next time. So for this, we're going

[1:17] to play a little game that I've named Stewster's Millions. Oh, no. Okay. In this game, Stuart,

[1:26] you are the CEO of Stew Studios, and Elliot is your trusted top development exec. So my

[1:35] job is constantly on the line. I've really got to earn my keep. Well, good news for you,

[1:40] Elliot. Stew Studios is trying to run a pro stewsters style scheme and create a slate

[1:47] entirely full of bombs in order to collect the money back as tax losses. Oh, thank goodness.

[1:53] So how are you? How are you going to do this? Well, I've assembled a list of ten of the most

[1:58] profitable movies of all time, not the ten most profitable because there's some franchise

[2:04] repeating that I wanted to avoid, but ten of the highest grossing films not adjusted for inflation.

[2:09] Okay. For each of these extremely successful movies, I want you guys to confer and pick one

[2:16] big change you would make to turn that movie into a mega bomb and then explain your thinking.

[2:23] So this is a collaborative game. There's not you're not against each other points,

[2:27] but I will be judging you internally at all times. It's like real life and just

[2:32] to clarify normal, Dan. Yeah. And just to clarify, I'm only talking to Elliot because

[2:37] if I asked you, you'd be like, add women to it. I'd be like, calm down, Dan. That would

[2:45] not be my personal attitude. Unfortunately, society seems to have taken a different turn.

[2:51] But so let's start this. I would say a worse turn. I would agree with that. I don't like the turn

[2:57] society has taken within the past year or two. You know, as we get older, there's a there's a

[3:02] tendency for you to look back at the days of yesteryear and think, oh, man, things were better

[3:07] then. But like they were right. Yeah. Well, I mean, they all have their good and their bad.

[3:13] But I will say that I did not think that as I entered middle age, I was like, oh,

[3:18] now I'll be the kind of person whose thoughts help decide the direction of the country. Nope,

[3:24] not the case. And I'm like, oh, so I guess that was that there was that brief period when I was

[3:28] kind of in sync with a lot of what was happening. And now it feels like I'm in less and less in

[3:34] sync with a lot of what's happening. Is this just a process of aging? You'll find out in 20 years

[3:39] when we do more Flop House episodes. It'll happen to you. So the first one, of course, is Avatar,

[3:47] guys. Big course. Huge hit. Airbender. No, not that one. The last of the airbenders is they can't

[3:54] make anymore. The one with the big blue ball of bending. Oh, the blue cat. This is Ferngully

[4:00] for adults. Yeah. I was going to say, but not that kind of for adults. They are pretty nude,

[4:05] those big blue cats. But that was also the Ferngully is the last rainforest. Right. So

[4:09] again, you can't have any more of those. Yeah. Yeah. You use the ball of rain for us. I mean,

[4:13] they did make a second never ending story, but I guess that's more like they're trying to they're

[4:17] trying to deliver on that promise. Yeah. I mean, that's the second. If the first one was called the

[4:21] ending story, then it would make like Ender's Game. You can't make a sequel to that. That'd

[4:25] be great. It'd be insane. It's got end right in the name. It was also a huge flop. So yeah,

[4:30] that movie also was a big flop. Yeah. Yeah. Probably a Stu Studios film. Yeah. Crushing it.

[4:35] So Studios is loosely based on a song by Rod Stewart, right? It's loosely based on a song

[4:40] by what's his face? What's Sue Sue Studio? What's that? Phil Collins. Okay. Oh, it's Phil Collins.

[4:46] Phil Collins. Yeah. So I get I get all those. I get there. They all are kind of like a steaming

[4:53] mash of singers that my mom listened to when I was a kid. But now, why are they steaming?

[4:58] What happened there? So any any thoughts on how to bombify Avatar? Avatar? Okay,

[5:07] so how do you bombify it? So the characters are always like this. You gotta make one big change.

[5:13] So how do you turn Avatar into a world that should reject Avatar? Well, I would say instead

[5:24] of putting it all on an alien planet, you set the whole thing in like a Spencer's gifts,

[5:37] like a Spencer's gifts. So they're trying instead of obtaining them,

[5:44] they're trying to get one of those like machines that you put your your hand on

[5:47] the outside of the globe. I don't I don't know. I mean, there's a there's a knock on

[5:53] effect of like I thought there's unobtainium in the Spencer's gifts and the unobtainium.

[5:58] I mean, maybe I guess so. I think I would. I think another thing you could do this again,

[6:03] another changes if it's the same movie, but in the middle there's a very graphic child sacrifice

[6:07] scene because the Na'vi engage in child sacrifice and they kill their children in order to raise

[6:11] their God. I think that might that might turn audiences off of the Na'vi as a as a noble

[6:16] people, you know. Right. So it's really graphic. It's like thirty five minutes long.

[6:21] This child sacrifice scene changed the general morality of of that. Oh, you'd have no good guys.

[6:26] There's no there's no heroes in this movie. Yeah. Interesting. All right.

[6:31] Uh, OK, another thing you could do. Wait, another thing you could do.

[6:35] OK, wait. Yeah. Keep pitching me ideas. Keep pitching.

[6:38] If you don't do the Spencer's gifts idea, you don't do the child sacrifice idea.

[6:42] What if instead all the Na'vi are constantly farting all the time,

[6:47] even in the middle of battles, like during the romance scene, it's just constant farting

[6:50] because that's how their alien metabolism metabolizes the gases in the in the atmosphere

[6:55] of whatever the planet was called with Avatar Planet. What's it called?

[6:58] I think you're in danger of making this even huger hit. Hell yeah.

[7:02] OK, I got it. This is way easier. Instead of changing a thing about the movie,

[7:07] change the trailer so that it really focuses on one character's mustache.

[7:13] And then all the posters and everything are pictures of people with a mustache.

[7:18] Now you're talking. OK, yeah. And we give no other indication that

[7:22] there's special effects in the movie. It's just the trailer is a guy's mustache.

[7:26] It's all about the mustache. Well, that sounds like a winner to me.

[7:30] So let's move on to a little picture, you know, a small indie film called Avengers Endgame.

[7:37] Avengers Endgame. How are you going to make any more Avengers movies after that?

[7:44] OK, Stuify. How do we do on that? I mean, the thing is, we're going into

[7:48] this movie on a hot streak. Marvel has not had a single miss at this point.

[7:53] So Stu Studios has to mess it up. And amazingly,

[7:56] Stu Studios has landed the Marvel contract from Disney.

[7:59] We drenched it away. Disney decided to outsource for this one

[8:03] entry in the Marvel series. Their most important one.

[8:06] The one that wraps up the whole series. Kevin Feige's like, you know what?

[8:10] We've set it up. There's no way to mess this one up.

[8:12] Have Stu Studios handle it. We can all take a vacation.

[8:16] Yeah. OK, so let's see.

[8:20] Instead of Tony Stark saving the day, we could replace Tony Stark with Harvey Weinstein.

[8:31] Now, is this a red card? He's always been Iron Man.

[8:34] Or is this he just jumps into the last minute and saves the day?

[8:38] Yeah, he's not. Well, and all this is built on the trailer.

[8:43] So we have to make sure people know that they know he's in the trailer.

[8:48] He changed the name of the movie from Avengers Endgame to Avengers Epstein.

[8:51] And I think I think they'll do a huge. It'll take a huge hit.

[8:53] A huge, huge hit to its box office. The movie will not be a hit at that point.

[8:57] Yeah. Although I think maybe people will be like,

[8:59] maybe this is the Avengers getting revenge and like beating up Epstein or something.

[9:05] Oh, yeah. No, we don't want that.

[9:06] People would want to go to that. Yeah, yeah.

[9:08] I wonder if again, so this is things changes that

[9:12] Dan, do you want it to be a surprise to viewers like the opening night?

[9:15] Audiences see it and they're like, oh, I don't like this.

[9:17] Or is this something that is are we direct?

[9:19] Are you going to see the farting thing again? Because I mean, it's a good idea.

[9:23] I mean, this in this scenario, they like

[9:26] this is not a preexisting film that they are now like, what?

[9:30] What do they do to my beautiful baby?

[9:32] OK, so this is this is the this is the release version.

[9:35] The official release version is now your version.

[9:38] Do you want this to be something that shows up in the trailers or do you want it to be

[9:41] that like halfway through the movie, all the characters just sit down and take a nap for like

[9:46] 17 hours? I mean, I mean, that's going to be a hard sell for movie theater,

[9:51] because you're not going to have any showings per day to certainly, you know,

[9:56] it would if it's revealed in the trailer, you're probably.

[10:00] We're going to get less money overall.

[10:02] It's going to be a bigger bomb.

[10:03] Yeah, you do have to rely on negative word of mouth.

[10:07] It's going to be a surprise.

[10:09] Instead of it's the exact same movie, but instead of all the dialogue,

[10:15] it's all musical.

[10:16] So they all have to sing all their lines in every single scene.

[10:19] Yeah, yeah. People would hate that.

[10:21] And specifically in the trailer, you see them singing in every scene.

[10:24] Oh, because I would say you don't see them singing in the trailer.

[10:27] So that that that is a shock to the to the audience.

[10:29] Like the audience that went to go see Mean Girls based on the musical

[10:33] Mean Girls based on the movie.

[10:35] And then when it started, then when the thing started, they were angry.

[10:38] They were not ready for it.

[10:39] They did not like it. Yeah.

[10:40] Yeah. Tina Fey was like, I hate this.

[10:43] What? She went to see the movie.

[10:45] Was I involved? Did I do this?

[10:48] I did. What if what if the whole movie was sold from the point of view

[10:51] of a guy who's just he's he works at like an Olive Garden

[10:55] and he's just occasionally checking in on his phone

[10:57] to get updates about what's going on with the superheroes?

[10:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[11:00] And so the whole movie, you're just hanging out with a guy

[11:03] who's really high explaining what happened.

[11:06] Yeah, yeah. To his co-worker.

[11:09] Yeah. So the start of the movie, the opening, the first few moments

[11:12] are the last 30 seconds of the movie.

[11:14] And then you cut to this guy.

[11:16] He's high. He's at the Olive Garden.

[11:18] And he's just explained he's a he's a patron.

[11:20] And he's explaining to the waiter what happened in this movie that he just saw.

[11:24] So the guy, the waiter is like, I've got work to do.

[11:26] Like, I'm not interested.

[11:27] I can't really listen, but I want to get a good tip.

[11:29] So I got to listen.

[11:30] And so it's kind of a little bit like my dinner with Andre,

[11:31] except he's trying to explain what happened in the last Avengers movie.

[11:35] And he's not eating dinner with this person.

[11:37] So this person who works there, who is whose time he's wasting.

[11:40] Yeah, yeah. You could do that.

[11:42] I think it's beautiful.

[11:43] It's it also would take the budget way down.

[11:47] Oh, yeah. The movie. Oh, yeah.

[11:48] So like it's all losses at that point.

[11:51] Not as big a tax saving.

[11:52] You still got to spend that money, some of it, you know, to write it off.

[11:55] But yeah. So, OK, how about this film?

[11:59] A little a little picture.

[12:01] You may be familiar with this one.

[12:02] Every single one. Are you Dan?

[12:03] Are you going to ascribe as a little movie or an indie movie?

[12:05] I can't do it for every.

[12:06] We know you're talking about the 10 biggest works every time.

[12:10] I just had a little picture.

[12:11] I didn't make I didn't make a big meal out of it.

[12:14] And now I let him fucking have his laughs.

[12:17] Why would you never let me have my laughs?

[12:22] I want to have mother hot.

[12:23] You will not have your laughs as far as I'm around.

[12:26] You may be familiar with this.

[12:28] Stewart, you know that Dan's doctor said if he has too many laughs,

[12:32] it could be fatal.

[12:33] Yeah, we got to find out about it for some reason.

[12:36] It's the opposite of Gene Wilder's mom.

[12:39] Yeah, I hear that story.

[12:40] Well, yeah, it's very sad.

[12:42] Like it is very sad. Yeah.

[12:44] Gene Wilder's mom.

[12:46] Well, she had a heart attack or something.

[12:48] I don't know what it was, but something where her health was really precarious

[12:51] and the doctor was like Gene Wilder when he was a child was like Gene Wilder.

[12:56] If your mom is ever unhappy, she could die.

[12:58] You have to keep her happy all the time, forever.

[13:01] And to make her laugh.

[13:02] The most important thing for you is make her laugh, make her laugh all the time.

[13:05] And that's a huge responsibility to put on a child's shoulders.

[13:08] And she's funny when you're just like, all right.

[13:10] And that's why Gene Wilder is hilarious, but also looks a little sad at all.

[13:15] All the times the doctor was like, my studies have shown that laughter

[13:19] is the best medicine and the only medicine.

[13:22] So you need to keep her laughing.

[13:23] Patch Adams on the case.

[13:25] And that laughter should be provided by a child who has more responsibility

[13:30] put on their shoulders than any child should.

[13:32] Yeah. Look, I know you can do this.

[13:34] Your name is Wilder.

[13:35] I've never met anyone as wild as you.

[13:37] If anyone can pull this off, it's you.

[13:39] You are wild to the nth degree, my friend.

[13:42] You're wild at heart.

[13:43] OK, well, let me

[13:46] so what's your little movie, Dan?

[13:47] What's this little movie we never heard of?

[13:50] What's the sleeper?

[13:51] This cult hit cult, beloved underground setting, guerrilla filmmaking, indie.

[13:56] You know, no, no labels movie.

[13:58] Damn it. What I was trying to set up is you might be familiar with this picture

[14:02] because the director has already appeared on this list.

[14:05] Oh, and the film is Titanic.

[14:07] Oh, yeah. Titanic.

[14:09] Yeah. Yeah. Titaniac.

[14:12] Well, I think I think we saw the Titanic.

[14:14] That's not a big hit.

[14:15] And it involves a lot of talking mice.

[14:17] It involves a dog faced octopus.

[14:19] That's a lot of those are the only changes, only changes,

[14:23] because otherwise it's very historically accurate.

[14:26] That's what they say in the beginning of the movie. Yeah.

[14:28] Yeah. You got to make one big change.

[14:30] One big change.

[14:32] I would say Billy Zane shoots Jack

[14:37] and Jack dies.

[14:39] And I can get away with it, too.

[14:40] I'm a rich man and you're nothing.

[14:42] And yeah, it happens like halfway through the movie in the back half.

[14:46] You just have to watch Billy Zane and enjoy it in life.

[14:48] And then he survives.

[14:49] Yeah, I was similarly, I think if you replaced Leonardo DiCaprio

[14:51] with the marionetted corpse of John Carradine,

[14:55] I think that would make the movie less successful.

[14:57] Certainly wouldn't catch a teen girl audience.

[14:59] You can only use this once, though.

[15:02] You can't use this for every movie we do.

[15:04] Do I want to save this solution for another movie?

[15:08] Just imagine Kate Winslet, her arms outstretched, you know,

[15:11] or whatever, being drawn naked by the marionetted corpse of John Carradine.

[15:14] You know? Yeah.

[15:18] Well, if you can get the family's permission, I think you've cracked it.

[15:24] Here's a here's another film that I will say nothing about.

[15:28] No, Dan, make us feel like it's a little thing and then it'll be revealed.

[15:32] Part of a part of a large franchise, a franchise that's a little bit

[15:36] of a franchise, a franchise that is very popular, so I'm led to believe

[15:41] this is a film called Star Wars.

[15:42] The Force Awakens. Oh, the first of the Disney.

[15:48] Let's call them legacy equals.

[15:49] Why not for the Star Wars franchise?

[15:54] OK, have there been any non successful

[15:58] financially Star Wars things shows?

[16:01] There's certainly been Star Wars things that were less successful

[16:03] than they would like.

[16:04] I think that a solo was considered not a hit in the way they wanted,

[16:07] but it made money, you know.

[16:10] But in terms of shows,

[16:12] I it's hard to know because those shows were released through Disney Plus.

[16:16] So I don't know what the there's no way of knowing how the viewer numbers

[16:18] actually affect the money they make.

[16:20] So like Acolyte and stuff like that, it's hard to know what you know,

[16:23] what is actually a success or not.

[16:25] Here's the here's a question, a legit question about the industry.

[16:30] Yeah. Do you think part of the steel industry?

[16:33] Yeah. The steel industry.

[16:36] Why so hot? Yeah.

[16:38] Hopefully tariffs will bring it back. Right, guys?

[16:40] Well, they say he who smelt it dealt it about smelting.

[16:44] Yeah. Yeah.

[16:45] He who smelt the steel that deals the steel.

[16:48] Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[16:49] No, I'm wondering, is part of the problem with stuff like that,

[16:53] them getting out of there over their skis and announcing like

[16:57] we have this huge idea, you know, like we're going to make

[17:02] this many Star Wars movies

[17:03] and there's going to be a whole like slate of them over here.

[17:06] They're going to be like one offs like a Star Wars story.

[17:10] And then there's going to be the main line and like they outline the plans

[17:13] rather than just taking each success as it comes or in this modern world

[17:19] where so much of it is about like fan excitement.

[17:21] Is that the way to go, even though you end up with egg on your face?

[17:25] I think that that the two things are I think those are both two sides

[17:29] of the same coin, is that it is for the rush of fan excitement

[17:33] at an announcement at San Diego or something like that,

[17:36] that they then fuck themselves over, pardon my French, by promising

[17:40] a slate of stuff that doesn't get a lot of thought put into it

[17:42] and also promising the release dates, which I think is part of the real issue.

[17:46] That's why I'm going to see the new Mahershala Ali Blade tomorrow, right?

[17:50] Exactly. Is they say like these movies are coming out.

[17:53] How is it so hard to make a fucking Blade movie?

[17:57] They made three of them already.

[17:59] They made three like it's not can't be that difficult.

[18:02] Do you think they keep working on it every time?

[18:04] They're like, I already did it.

[18:06] I did it in part two.

[18:07] I wonder if they're like, but what if the vampires had a mouth

[18:10] that looked kind of like a crazy vagina?

[18:12] They're like, I already did it in part two.

[18:14] I wonder if what if what if we had a trinity had it in the third one?

[18:18] Yeah, I wonder if part of the problem specifically with Blade

[18:22] is that they're so insistent on everything being interconnected

[18:26] because if there's a character that really should be sort of off on his own world

[18:30] and not like be like, oh, I guess that there's vampires

[18:33] running around in Marvel World to like it is Blade.

[18:36] I will say in the comics, they've they've tried really hard

[18:39] to make Blade a bigger player.

[18:40] Like he was a member of the Avengers for a little bit

[18:42] and the vampires took over the world or whatever.

[18:44] And it did feel like Blade was was punching above his weight class

[18:48] in some ways, that his stories are best told when he's sneaking in the shadows

[18:52] with Hannibal King or whatever, and he's up against, you know, some vampire

[18:55] somewhere. But that's like kind of the joke on Venture Brothers

[18:58] with Jefferson Twilight being like vampire hunter.

[19:01] And most of the time he's like, I can't do anything.

[19:03] I just fight vampires.

[19:05] But I think I think to get it back to what I said before,

[19:08] announcing these release dates means that there's now a lot of pressure

[19:12] on production, development, all those things to hit real hard

[19:15] benchmark schedule benchmarks.

[19:17] Yeah. And it means you don't have enough time to really do the best work.

[19:20] Necessarily, there was a I remember reading about

[19:23] Scott, the rise of Skywalker, whatever the last star

[19:27] was, main movie was where they were like, yeah, well, we had the release.

[19:30] I was called the last Jedi.

[19:32] No, it was not.

[19:34] I don't recall anything else.

[19:36] OK, they were like, we had the release date before we had the script.

[19:39] And so everything was backdated from they couldn't be like, hold on.

[19:42] The script isn't ready yet.

[19:43] They had to be like, no, go into production.

[19:45] And Marvel has Marvel thought they had made a virtue of that

[19:49] where they're like, when we go into production, we don't have a finished script.

[19:51] And then we just reshoot 30 percent of the movie.

[19:53] And I think that was one of those things where they thought

[19:56] they had discovered a new production mode that worked really well.

[20:00] And instead, they just kind of like got lucky

[20:03] for a long time, you know,

[20:04] with the properties they're working with

[20:05] and I think with the people they're working with.

[20:07] But they found that magical combination for a little bit.

[20:11] But I think-

[20:12] I would imagine they also probably hadn't,

[20:14] this is just a guess,

[20:15] but I feel like they probably burned out

[20:18] a lot of the people that they'd worked with,

[20:20] specifically like the post-production people,

[20:23] the visual effects people who were like,

[20:24] this fucking sucks.

[20:26] They burnt out the post-production people,

[20:27] they burnt out the directors,

[20:29] they burnt out the actors to a certain extent.

[20:31] Like, I think they-

[20:32] But I think with Star Wars specifically, Dan,

[20:34] I think it's also an issue of they,

[20:36] and this is not fun or funny,

[20:37] but I think the,

[20:39] as much as it hates me to admit it,

[20:40] because I loved that Star Wars world when I was younger,

[20:42] the Star Wars world is not really as big

[20:44] as the Marvel Comics world.

[20:46] Like Marvel Comics, you can do that for a little while,

[20:48] because there's so many characters

[20:49] doing so many different things.

[20:50] Star Wars really doesn't have that much stuff in it

[20:54] for a thing that feels like it has a lot of stuff in it.

[20:57] Which is why every other one

[20:58] seems to take place on Tatooine.

[21:00] If they had truly done what it seemed like

[21:02] they were going to do at the start,

[21:04] when they were like,

[21:05] oh, we're going to do all these stand-alone things.

[21:07] Like, if they'd really done it,

[21:09] they could have just invented new characters

[21:13] within that world and had stories,

[21:15] rather than the problem is they're like-

[21:16] Just pick up the tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina

[21:18] and just do all that stuff.

[21:19] We're just like circling the same goddamn characters

[21:22] over and over again.

[21:23] But anyway, the problem was-

[21:25] Where's Grand Admiral Thrawn?

[21:27] Star Wars, The Force Awakens, ruin that movie.

[21:29] Ruin that movie.

[21:32] Thrawn got brought into the Clone Wars show, didn't he?

[21:35] Yeah, yeah.

[21:36] That's one of the two things from the Zahn novels

[21:38] that's canon, right?

[21:39] It's Thrawn now and the name Coruscant,

[21:41] because George Lucas couldn't come up with a better name.

[21:44] He's like, damn it, that's such a good name.

[21:46] Well, I think, obviously,

[21:47] what they should have done with Force Awakens

[21:51] is instead of Rey and all this shit,

[21:53] it's got to be Kyle Katarn.

[21:56] Bring Kyle Katarn from the Dark Forces game.

[21:58] You know what?

[21:59] Or Dash Rendar from Shadows of the Empire.

[22:01] Bring him in, you know?

[22:02] Oh, sick.

[22:03] Timeline doesn't match up, but it's still cool.

[22:05] I don't know who these characters are,

[22:07] so I'm gonna assume these are great ideas.

[22:09] Dan, you have a whole world of Star Wars to get into

[22:12] and you'll be like,

[22:13] there's not really that much in this Star Wars world.

[22:15] So what can we do to Star Wars, what was it?

[22:17] Force Awakens.

[22:18] Force Awakens.

[22:18] So that's the one,

[22:19] it introduced the new generation of heroes,

[22:21] Rey, Finn, Poe.

[22:27] What's the, 88?

[22:28] Or IG-88?

[22:29] No, what's the?

[22:30] BB-88.

[22:31] BB-88, thank you.

[22:32] I was thinking of IG-88, the bad-ass bounty hunter droid.

[22:37] So how do we make it bad?

[22:38] How do we bomb it?

[22:39] Let's see.

[22:42] Let's see.

[22:44] Let's see, let's see.

[22:46] I mean, let's see.

[22:48] Let's see.

[22:48] Fill time, fill time.

[22:50] Vamp, vamp, vampires?

[22:52] Actually, I'd love to see a Star Wars movie

[22:54] with the vampires in it, that'd be great.

[22:55] Yeah, there was a really good old Buck Rogers

[22:57] with vampires that I liked.

[23:00] Space vampires, they're cool.

[23:01] Count Buckula?

[23:02] Yeah.

[23:05] I feel like-

[23:06] What if we introduced Count Ducula

[23:07] to the Star Wars universe?

[23:08] Would that work out okay?

[23:09] No, that sounds pretty cool.

[23:10] I don't think it would hurt it at all.

[23:12] I guess probably not, actually.

[23:15] Is there some way of making the first J.J. Abrams film

[23:18] the last J.J. Abrams film?

[23:21] Yeah, I mean, let's see.

[23:24] I know the fans got really mad

[23:26] when Luke Skywalker died.

[23:28] Could we just have him get exploded right at the beginning?

[23:32] Well, I think it was not even him dying so much

[23:34] as him being an unhappy guy,

[23:36] that he wasn't, who seemed like a big grump

[23:39] who said, oh, that stuff's bad, I did a bad job.

[23:41] That reminds me too much of me, the fans said.

[23:45] Can't he be just like a badass samurai wizard

[23:49] and be like cool about it?

[23:51] Yeah.

[23:52] I think, what if, you know what?

[23:56] Maybe this would make it a bigger hit,

[23:57] but this is similar to that Olive Garden idea.

[23:59] You just set the whole movie at that space diner

[24:01] from the prequels and you're just hanging out there.

[24:05] It's like the bear, but it's in Star Wars.

[24:07] Actually, I love it.

[24:07] This would be a great idea.

[24:08] Let's do this.

[24:09] Oh, I thought it was like,

[24:11] but it would be very punishing

[24:13] on a certain group of the audience.

[24:15] If you keep like acting like, oh,

[24:16] and now we're gonna go leave.

[24:19] And then they're like, oh, wait, we gotta do this first.

[24:21] They just keep not leaving the diner.

[24:23] Or when the characters that we are invested in

[24:25] who are like, oh, we're gonna go on an adventure

[24:27] and they leave through the front door,

[24:28] but the camera stays.

[24:30] And then if it was the new people who come in,

[24:32] you're like, oh.

[24:34] All right.

[24:35] We gotta get to the fireworks factory.

[24:36] Maybe you hear something on the space news

[24:38] about the characters we heard about earlier.

[24:41] Man, this is actually pretty good.

[24:42] Space news.

[24:43] The capital planet of the universe is destroyed.

[24:46] No one's that upset about it.

[24:47] Moving on.

[24:49] Actually, is that space diner on Coruscant?

[24:52] I think it is, yeah.

[24:53] So it would have been destroyed when the First Order,

[24:56] is that what they're called?

[24:57] When they blow up that planet,

[24:59] you just see that kind of like that furry alien,

[25:01] it's beard flapping in the wind

[25:04] as the planet's about to be destroyed.

[25:05] So that space diner got blown up, right?

[25:07] Dexter Jetser's diner, yeah.

[25:09] This is the saddest thing I've felt about it now.

[25:11] He also made that, that diner was in operation

[25:14] before the rise of the Empire.

[25:16] So like, they might've shut it down.

[25:18] I think if there's any business that's gonna survive,

[25:21] it's gonna be a greasy spoon diner, you know?

[25:24] I don't know.

[25:24] I feel like the Empire is built on like bullshit,

[25:29] like delivery apps and stuff.

[25:31] And that stuff's really bad for diners.

[25:33] Well, guys, we've used up our daily podcasting allotment

[25:38] of talking about Star Wars.

[25:39] So we're gonna move on.

[25:41] We're done.

[25:42] Oh, thank God.

[25:42] To Spider-Man No Way Home.

[25:44] Let's shift gears to something not nerdy.

[25:50] Spider-Man No Way Home is the choice.

[25:52] Which one's this?

[25:52] That's the one with all the Spider-Men.

[25:54] Oh, there's like three Spider-Men and six villains

[25:56] and they're all flying around.

[25:58] I think it's pretty easy.

[25:59] Instead of having them all,

[26:01] all three Spider-Men kind of show up

[26:03] from different timelines,

[26:05] that they accidentally get morphed together

[26:07] and they're like a blob with all their arms and legs.

[26:11] To be honest, there is an internet video

[26:14] where someone did that with animation

[26:17] and they're just kind of flying around as a blob.

[26:20] Yeah.

[26:21] Yeah, I think it's good.

[26:22] I think it would be unsuccessful as a movie.

[26:24] As a Spider-Man movie, I think it would be unsuccessful.

[26:28] Yeah, people wouldn't want to take their kids.

[26:29] Especially since like so much of it is like,

[26:32] oh, all these Spider-Men are such cuties.

[26:35] And then you turn them into a blob of arms and limb, yeah.

[26:39] If it stopped being an action movie

[26:42] and instead it was about these three Spider-Men,

[26:45] they all have to pretend to be the same person.

[26:47] And it's more of a like farce

[26:49] where they're running in and out

[26:50] and have to switch the costume off.

[26:52] It's like if Mrs. Doubtfire was three people

[26:54] each pretending to be Mrs. Doubtfire

[26:56] and they have to keep switching off

[26:58] and they don't remember what the previous one promised

[27:01] and things like that.

[27:02] I think you could do it like that.

[27:02] It's called like Spider-Man, which one's the Spider-Man?

[27:06] You know, something like that.

[27:07] Yeah, I got it.

[27:08] It's really easy.

[27:10] All we do is we take, when Tobey Maguire shows up,

[27:12] it's emo Peter Parker from Spider-Man 3.

[27:15] And he's got like the hair flip.

[27:17] Again, I would like it.

[27:18] I think audiences would not like it.

[27:20] How about this even, we go even further.

[27:21] When instead of Tobey Maguire showing up,

[27:23] it's emo Phillips playing the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man.

[27:26] That doesn't get more emo than that.

[27:27] And when emo Phillips comes on,

[27:29] they're like, hey, Tobey Maguire.

[27:31] And he answers to it.

[27:33] I'm Tobey Maguire.

[27:35] I was a Spider-Man in the early 2000s.

[27:40] And then instead of Andrew Garfield,

[27:42] it's actually, what's the name?

[27:45] Garfield the Cat?

[27:46] Garfield the Cat.

[27:47] No, but people would love that.

[27:48] They'd go crazy.

[27:49] There's a Spider-Man cat in the Spider-Verse movies.

[27:51] And for the ad for the trailer,

[27:53] we just used the trailer that they got rid of

[27:56] of Spider-Man saving somebody

[27:58] by putting a web between the Twin Towers.

[28:00] Yeah, yeah.

[28:01] Instead of Andrew Garfield, it's Andrew Jackson.

[28:04] Oh yeah.

[28:05] And I think people wouldn't like that at all.

[28:06] Merged with President Garfield.

[28:09] Yes, it's Andrew Jackson and James Garfield,

[28:14] I think his first name was.

[28:16] They've been merged together,

[28:17] but they're still Spider-Man.

[28:18] And again, they still answer to the name Andrew Garfield.

[28:20] Yeah, yeah.

[28:21] So we're still merging something.

[28:22] Now I really want to see emo Phillips playing Tobey Maguire

[28:24] playing Spider-Man in something.

[28:26] Or playing Tobey Maguire in Seabiscuit,

[28:28] playing Tobey Maguire in Wonder Boys.

[28:30] What about Babylon?

[28:32] Babylon, any role that,

[28:33] I mean, emo Phillips would have been great

[28:36] in that role in Babylon.

[28:37] Like if ever there's a guy you do not want to go

[28:40] into a weird dungeon basement

[28:42] to watch someone eat rats with,

[28:43] it's probably emo Phillips, yeah.

[28:46] That happens in Babylon?

[28:48] Yeah, you don't remember that?

[28:49] They go into that dungeon basement

[28:50] and the guy in the mask is just eating rats?

[28:53] Because you don't want to take sides

[28:54] in the great war between me and Elliot.

[28:55] You don't want to waste your time.

[28:56] I'm waiting for us to do Babylon on the podcast.

[28:58] No, it's never gonna happen.

[28:59] Dan, would we ever do Babylon on the podcast

[29:01] or do you like it too much?

[29:02] I both like it too much and it is like a long movie.

[29:05] It's a very long movie, yeah.

[29:08] Hey, let's take a break and for a word from our sponsors.

[29:12] You know, the Flophouse is, of course,

[29:15] what makes it run is listeners like you

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[29:24] But also this episode in particular

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[30:40] Yeah. If current levels are getting all the energy I can get. Actually, this is this is kind

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[33:55] news, bad news situation. The bad news. First, we have a show scheduled in Chicago on November 16th

[34:03] and it has sold out. The good news is for us. That's good news for us. Bad news for any one

[34:09] who doesn't have tickets. The good news is that we have added a late show on November 16th at

[34:15] Sleeping Village in Chicago, Illinois. You can come see us talk about a little movie called

[34:22] Canine, a movie where Jim Belushi hangs out with a dog a bunch. It's going to be a really fun time.

[34:30] It's you know, it's a late show, so things are going to get Dan said certified nasty.

[34:36] I don't know who's certifying it, but I guess I'm in the Chicago nasty department. Yeah. Yeah.

[34:42] The show's at nine thirty on a Sunday night, November 16th. I hope to see you there. It's

[34:48] going to be a fun one, folks. And in case you can't make it to that show, there's a new opportunity

[34:54] for you to see us in Chicago, as Dick Stewart just said, you can do that. But in case you can't make

[34:58] it and you still want to see our faces as we're talking and not just listen to our voices. Well,

[35:03] I've got good news for you because Flop TV season three is on the air. That's right.

[35:09] Flop TV is going right now. That's right. We started September 6th with the first episode

[35:15] in Flop TV season three. That is the adventures of Pluto Nash. And we're going to be going back

[35:20] in time decade by decade, every episode. So October 4th will be our next episode. We're

[35:25] talking about Jack Frost, the movie where Michael Keaton is a jazz musician, I think,

[35:29] who dies and comes back as a snowman. It's going to be amazing. Every first Saturday of the month

[35:36] from September through February, we're going to be appearing live on your computer screens

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[35:54] Harrison version. And we're going to talk because there's a rule only one Eddie Murphy movie per

[35:57] season where we didn't play Pluto Nash. And finally, we're going to end the season with Plan

[36:01] Nine from Outer Space, perhaps the most famous bad movie of them all. How do you get tickets to

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[37:11] Join us, won't you?

[37:16] You guys want to try and do this promo with British accents?

[37:18] Yeah, yeah, of course. Let's do it.

[37:21] Ify, you go.

[37:22] Oi, bruv. This is TV Chef Fantasy League.

[37:28] Okay, Sierra.

[37:28] We take cooking competition shows and treat them like fantasy sports.

[37:32] Like a newscaster. Very posh.

[37:35] Right now, we're doing the Great British Bake Off or the Great British Baking Show,

[37:38] if you're listening from the US.

[37:39] Oh, that was really soothing.

[37:41] You chose like a prim and proper.

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[37:47] Subscribe to TV Chef Fantasy League on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get your podcasts.

[37:55] Better than my Boston one.

[38:01] Hi, everybody. It's Ellen Weatherford.

[38:03] And Christian Weatherford.

[38:05] People say not to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.

[38:09] But we can judge a snake by its ability to fly or a spider by its ability to dive.

[38:14] Or a dung beetle by its ability to navigate with the starlight of the Milky Way galaxy.

[38:19] On Just the Zoo of Us, we rate our favorite animals out of 10 in the categories of physical

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[38:35] Listen with the whole family on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

[38:41] Uh, let's get back to this, uh, Stoosters Millions.

[38:48] Here's, here's a film that was a big hit.

[38:51] Uh, yeah.

[38:52] Inside Out 2, the sequel.

[38:55] Inside Out 2.

[38:56] Inside Out.

[38:57] Okay, so here, I think this is easy.

[38:59] You take that, that, that main character, that girl whose name I don't remember what it was,

[39:03] and you turn her inside out.

[39:05] This time, it's not that you're going, it's not that it's about her emotions,

[39:07] she, her body has been turned inside out.

[39:09] Her organs are on the outside now.

[39:11] It's horrifying.

[39:12] It's disgusting.

[39:12] Is she going to be able to make it to the hockey championships now?

[39:15] Probably not.

[39:16] It's, I think it would really horrify a lot of children.

[39:18] Talk about a box office bomb.

[39:20] I haven't seen this one.

[39:22] So is this the, is this what happens after that lady gets the baby cut out of her stomach by that

[39:27] evil French lady?

[39:28] You're thinking of the movie Inside, not Inside Out.

[39:31] Yes.

[39:32] But I mean, they do take somebody's insides out in that movie.

[39:35] Yeah.

[39:37] That's very true.

[39:38] Yeah.

[39:39] So, I mean, Inside Out would be a better name for the movie Inside than an Inside Man.

[39:44] Maybe that baby is a little, is a boy, in which case Inside could also be called Inside Man.

[39:49] So, but that is one of my favorite things about that very gross movie

[39:53] is the occasional shots of a unhappy baby getting like bumped.

[40:00] I feel like that's kind of where the movie goes a little too far at times.

[40:03] Maybe he's like, no, thank you.

[40:06] But I think if you added that plot element to Inside Out, too,

[40:08] it certainly would make it hard for it to be the hit family film that it was.

[40:11] OK. Yeah. So turn Riley inside out.

[40:14] Yeah. Turn Riley inside out.

[40:16] And Riley's mom is pregnant.

[40:17] And while she's at hockey camp or wherever she is,

[40:20] her mom is being attacked by someone who's trying to cut the baby out of her belly.

[40:24] Yep. We're changing only a single thing.

[40:26] There we go. OK, well, here's a movie that I was sort of dismayed to find

[40:34] on this list of highest grossers.

[40:36] Again, this is not adjusted for inflation.

[40:38] This is just in pure today's dollars.

[40:42] No, it's a Jurassic World.

[40:44] Jurassic World is right up there.

[40:49] How are you going to?

[40:50] Who did this one? Is this the Steven Spielberg one?

[40:52] What? No, this is Trevor.

[40:54] Last World. OK, Lost World.

[40:56] Lost World.

[40:57] Jurassic World, The Lost World was.

[40:58] This is the first of the Chris Pratt trilogy.

[41:01] Oh, I didn't see this one.

[41:02] This is not adjusted for inflation because the first Jurassic Park,

[41:04] if you adjust it for inflation,

[41:05] made so much more money than the Jurassic World movies.

[41:07] But yes.

[41:09] But I mean, if you just for inflation,

[41:11] this would be like Gone with the Wind, Snow White, that kind of stuff.

[41:13] So it's not like I said, Snow White, like Tom Waits is Snow White.

[41:18] But where's Papa?

[41:20] If you adjust for inflation, then where's Papa?

[41:23] It's at the top.

[41:24] Dwarfs them all.

[41:26] Yeah, train coming in camera.

[41:30] We're just leaving the factory.

[41:31] The Apple Dumpling Gang?

[41:34] That happened.

[41:35] Oh man, people love the Apple Dumpling Gang.

[41:36] Yeah, if you adjust for inflation, it goes,

[41:39] where's Papa?

[41:40] The Apple Dumpling Gang.

[41:41] What about Bob?

[41:42] Top three movies of all time.

[41:45] Unless they're all questions.

[41:47] The Apple Dumpling Gang is a question, right?

[41:49] Yeah.

[41:50] The Apple Dumpling Gang?

[41:51] Like, what the fuck?

[41:53] What?

[41:53] That's not a name for anything.

[41:54] I was like, I don't know what this movie is about,

[41:57] but I gotta fucking find out.

[41:58] I gotta find out how this gang is somehow made out of apple dumplings.

[42:02] Yeah.

[42:03] Dan, it is hard for me to think of a more disappointing filling

[42:07] for a dumpling if I take a bite into it than apple.

[42:10] I'm just going to say it right now.

[42:11] Yeah, your famed hatred of fruit.

[42:14] Yeah.

[42:15] Oh yeah, I have some dumplings.

[42:16] I love dumplings.

[42:17] What is this?

[42:17] Oh, apples.

[42:19] Don't give this to me.

[42:20] What a horrible gang.

[42:22] Criminals.

[42:23] You would prefer something like what I had for lunch today,

[42:27] potato and onion pierogi.

[42:29] Oh, that sounds wonderful.

[42:30] Yeah, because you're taking like a starch

[42:32] and then you're stuffing it full of more starch, baby.

[42:34] Yeah, exactly.

[42:35] Then sauteing it in butter.

[42:38] Yeah, on a bed of rice.

[42:40] Yeah.

[42:42] Wow.

[42:42] They call it death by starch.

[42:45] You're getting extra energy.

[42:46] That's what starch is, man.

[42:48] Well, it's because, Dan, you're running a marathon later, right?

[42:50] That's why you're carb loading a starch load like that?

[42:52] It was because we were...

[42:52] Yeah, he's playing in a peewee soccer game.

[42:54] It was genuinely because we had a taping in the middle of the day with a guest

[42:59] and I'm like, I got to eat something beforehand.

[43:01] What is pre-made here at the store?

[43:02] What will make me sleepiest?

[43:05] Some pierogi.

[43:06] That's going to keep me awake.

[43:07] Okay, so what are we talking about?

[43:08] Jurassic World.

[43:09] I never saw this one.

[43:12] Should I?

[43:13] How about...

[43:14] If you like dinosaurs, there's dinosaurs in it.

[43:16] So what I would say is instead of dinosaurs, you swap them out with like,

[43:21] I don't know, like ducks?

[43:24] Yeah, just giant ducks.

[43:26] Yeah, I think that could work.

[43:27] No, normal ducks.

[43:28] They don't have to be giant.

[43:29] Normal sized ducks.

[43:30] And they're like, hey, we're trying to do Jurassic World, but like,

[43:33] we don't want...

[43:34] Dinosaurs are too dangerous.

[43:35] So we're just doing ducks.

[43:36] We cloned a bunch of ducks.

[43:37] I've got news for you guys.

[43:39] All birds are dinosaurs.

[43:40] So ducks are dinosaurs.

[43:42] So if they said, welcome to our dinosaur theme park, and it's all ducks, they're not lying.

[43:45] That's literally true.

[43:46] We release Jurassic World and people come to us with a lawsuit.

[43:50] We're like, technically, we're right.

[43:52] Talk to a paleontologist.

[43:53] These are all dinosaurs.

[43:54] Living avian dinosaurs.

[43:56] So I think, but I think you still do it like Chris Pratt is still training the ducks to track,

[44:01] I guess, or whatever.

[44:03] They're still, you know, the people are still rolling around in giant balls, you know, dodging

[44:06] ducks.

[44:07] Yeah, sure.

[44:07] I think we do that.

[44:08] Yeah.

[44:09] Love dodging ducks.

[44:10] Okay, here's one.

[44:12] Yeah, they're literally duck dodgers.

[44:14] Now, this is not the original cell animated version.

[44:17] This is the CGI also animated version.

[44:20] No matter what they say, the Lion King.

[44:24] Well, they figured they figured out how to do it is you make it about Mufasa and you make it super

[44:28] boring.

[44:28] Oh, they already did it for you.

[44:30] They already did it.

[44:30] But I'll say, what are we going to do with this Lion King to make it not a hit?

[44:34] Well, you should try and make the animation look like it's just AI generated.

[44:38] Oh, wait, make it so like there's no emotion on the animal's faces.

[44:43] You should cast like a real dud like John Oliver.

[44:47] And just kidding.

[44:49] Just kidding.

[44:49] He's funny.

[44:50] He's he's a far old beloved to work out.

[44:53] The great guy legitimately great guide.

[44:56] No reason to hit him.

[44:59] Let's see.

[44:59] So how would you take it?

[45:00] I mean, once again, if you replace any of these characters with the marionetted corpse of John

[45:05] Kearney, and I feel like right off the bat, if it's all ducks and it's called the Duck King,

[45:10] but it's still the same story.

[45:12] I think that's great.

[45:13] And also all the animals are ducks.

[45:14] So like scar is a duck.

[45:16] Mufasa is a duck.

[45:16] And the wildebeest that kill Mufasa are all ducks.

[45:19] It's like just ducks, ducks, ducks, all the way to Mona Pumba are ducks.

[45:22] When they're eating bugs, they're eating other ducks.

[45:24] You just make it all done.

[45:25] Yeah, I Disney ducks, not Disney ducks.

[45:28] Well, that's the thing.

[45:29] I'd be the one guy in the theater.

[45:30] I'd be sitting in the middle, like wondering when fucking Scrooge was going to show up and

[45:34] so angry when it didn't happen.

[45:36] You're worrying when fucking Scrooge shows up.

[45:38] So when one of the characters.

[45:42] No, fucking Scrooge is the name of the character.

[45:44] It's the horny version of Scrooge.

[45:47] You don't want to know.

[45:50] No, yeah.

[45:51] He's having sex in his money bin and that people he's having sex with are like,

[45:54] we're ducks or like it's so uncomfortable.

[45:56] Having all this cold change pressed into my back.

[45:59] No, the only way you can blast.

[46:00] Yeah, yeah, it's always talking about blasting.

[46:05] Sorry.

[46:07] I'm a human red blooded man.

[46:10] I'm sorry of my physical need to make you uncomfortable.

[46:14] I think they were hurrying the previous episode that we just recorded.

[46:17] There is no talking about blasting on my little come talk.

[46:20] And that was OK.

[46:22] Hey, well, this is 18 plus.

[46:26] Yeah, come on.

[46:26] There's no children.

[46:28] So I will say, what else can we do with the Lion King other than make them all ducks?

[46:33] Something we've already talked about.

[46:34] What if?

[46:37] Instead of it being.

[46:41] This is actually a really hard one.

[46:42] It's a tough one.

[46:43] Because the movie itself is already not good.

[46:45] Instead of it being realistic, lifelike animals that are CGI.

[46:49] What if it is live action people and they just are wearing T-shirts with the name of

[46:53] the animal they're supposed to be?

[46:54] Right, like it's a community theater version of the Lion King.

[46:58] Exactly.

[46:58] But they're not acting the animals emotions.

[47:00] It just has written on them like elephant, you know, and they just walk around like a

[47:04] normal person.

[47:05] And you don't cast known actors.

[47:08] No, they're all it's all amateurs or unknowns.

[47:11] It's all discovery.

[47:12] It's all unknowns.

[47:13] This is, of course, because of the lawsuit from people who are like this live action

[47:17] Lion King isn't actually live action.

[47:19] It's just animated in a more realistic style.

[47:22] So you're like, OK, we'll give you a live action version.

[47:24] And they go down to like, I don't know, like a local what's a place where you could find

[47:29] a bunch of people like a Costco and they're just round up a bunch of customers and they're

[47:33] like, come and be in this movie.

[47:34] OK, it's basically we're doing like, I think you should leave type sketches.

[47:37] I guess this isn't I think you should leave.

[47:39] Yeah, exactly.

[47:40] OK, well, here's one that's I think a little hard because the movies already are pretty

[47:46] ridiculous.

[47:46] Yeah, pretty ridiculous.

[47:48] Furious seven.

[47:49] Furious seven.

[47:50] What can you do?

[47:52] No cars.

[47:52] Take the cars, click on them, drag them to the trash can, drop them in their empty trash

[47:58] running around pretending they're in cars and like that.

[48:03] OK, I would love to see.

[48:05] I mean, those actors, I just don't think of Vin Diesel as strong as the man is, as much

[48:11] of a runner.

[48:12] So just like running around.

[48:14] So we'll lift our cardio, I think.

[48:16] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[48:18] Well, everyone, they can't afford the cars, so they just treat them like they're in cars

[48:22] and they're making the sounds and they're like running next to each other on the highway.

[48:26] Yeah, I think that could do it.

[48:28] What if instead of being a furious seven, it was called Curious Seven and it's Curious

[48:31] George is the is the leader of the of the Toretto family.

[48:34] I think you're turning into a kids film and kids films make dollars.

[48:38] That's true.

[48:38] You make a lot of money.

[48:39] That's true.

[48:40] But he swears all the time.

[48:42] I think you're right.

[48:43] OK, I think that taking the cars out is the only way to.

[48:47] I mean, if that's the case in Star Wars, let's take out the spaceships.

[48:51] OK, Jurassic Park.

[48:52] Let me take out the dinosaurs.

[48:53] That'll kill Star Wars.

[48:55] You don't need spaceships.

[48:56] You just need the aliens.

[48:58] Those there's like no spaceships in in like Andor, right?

[49:03] Isn't Andor just like people hanging out?

[49:05] I have spaceships.

[49:06] OK, I got to watch Andor.

[49:07] It's just slightly more realistic.

[49:09] Yeah, I'm going to watch that show someday.

[49:11] All right.

[49:11] We got one last.

[49:13] You're like Andor is it's mostly about a therapist in the Star Wars universe, right?

[49:17] And he talks to his clients in his office.

[49:19] You think of in treatment, but that's not about Star Wars universe.

[49:22] Right.

[49:23] Yeah, it's just Laura Dern making bad life choices.

[49:26] No, no.

[49:26] I'm thinking of Enlightened.

[49:27] Yeah, you're mixing up your slightly less celebrated HBO shows.

[49:34] It's a great show.

[49:35] I'm not saying anything about the quality.

[49:37] You know, Mike White hit it big with White Lotus, but he has a deep filmography.

[49:40] He's got other stuff.

[49:41] What about what about whenever the characters in Star Wars are?

[49:44] Chuck and Buck with Chris Weitz.

[49:46] Whenever they hear something, they they remember an old TV show that they saw when they were a kid

[49:51] because they watched so much TV.

[49:52] Yeah, it's called Star Wars Dream on.

[49:54] Yeah, I love it.

[50:00] Um, okay. Well, we got one final one here and that is, uh, a legacy equal, it's called

[50:07] top gun maverick. It's made by the way the planes, they just fly with their arms out

[50:15] stretched and they get my cool ideas. Uh, I'm going to say, let's see. Um, Tom Cruise

[50:27] is still in it. Okay. Sure. Oh, in the, uh, the beach football scene, they all have to

[50:32] wear shirts. You think that would do it? That would, that alone would be enough. People

[50:39] would hate it. They'd write in or wait that they specify, specify that the, uh, enemy

[50:48] in the movie is like China or something. And then the movie will do super bad overseas.

[50:53] Yeah. I think, uh, what if, uh, instead of like unnamed nation that they're fighting,

[50:59] instead of the young people doubting that, that old Tom Cruise still has what it takes

[51:03] and then he proves them wrong. What if he proves them right? He does not have what it

[51:06] takes anymore. And he, he's, he's just blowing up the wrong planes and crashes his jet. And

[51:11] he has to deal with the fact that he really doesn't have it. He lost whatever skill he

[51:14] had, you know? Yeah. He just explodes immediately. And he's like, let me teach you a thing or

[51:21] two. Whippersnappers takes off, immediately explodes in midair. And the rest of it is

[51:25] a very realistic funeral for the, for the, for the character of maverick hour and a half

[51:29] of just footage slowly panning over his wreck. Yeah.

[51:34] Uh, well, good news, everyone. Uh, you did it. Your tax fraud worked. Um, yeah, you're

[51:44] the winners. Uh, everyone's a winner here. Nobody loses. Yeah. Except the person who

[51:49] listens. Um, speaking of listening, thank you listeners. Thank you, uh, for supporting

[51:55] us, uh, check out other great shows on the max fun network over at maximum fun.org. Thank

[52:02] you to Alex Smith, our producer. He goes by the name Howell Dottie on the internet where

[52:08] he does a lot of his own great creative projects. Check those out, please. Uh, and for the flop

[52:16] house, I've been Dan McCoy. Hey, it's me, Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin saying

[52:22] bottom of the morning to you. Why are you doing a voice? Why are you doing a weird voice?

[52:35] Maximum fun, a worker owned network of artists owned shows supported directly by you.

FH Mini 137 - Stuster's Millions

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