Ep. #347 - Me You Madness, with Hallie Haglund

[0:00] On this episode we discuss

[0:01] Me, You, Madness

[0:04] Did it fill us with sadness or gladness?

[0:07] You'll find out at this address

[0:09] on The Flophouse

[0:11] Sort of a slant rhyme at the end

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:43] Hey, we're a professional podcast, and I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:47] We're somewhat of a professional podcast, and joining us is a very special guest.

[0:53] Although, can you really be a guest when you're kind of a member of the family?

[0:56] Wait, wait, wait, wait. You didn't say your name, though.

[1:00] Nobody cares about my name

[1:02] That was your line

[1:03] I said my name, Stuart said his name

[1:07] And then you went into introducing Hallie right away

[1:10] Because I was so excited that Hallie did right

[1:11] I'm Ellie Kaelin, but no one cares about Ellie Kaelin

[1:13] They care about our special guest

[1:15] Hallie Haglund

[1:18] Hallie hails from Denver, Colorado

[1:25] No, that was my going up to the bat

[1:28] Oh, sorry, okay

[1:29] Hallie is 0 for 10 this season

[1:32] Let's see if she can turn this lump around

[1:34] Too true

[1:35] It's good to see your face, Hallie

[1:40] But also, look at this

[1:43] We're in two rooms

[1:45] Not four, not three, not four

[1:47] Two rooms

[1:48] Elliot and Hallie are together in a room

[1:51] On the other coast

[1:52] And Stuart and I are together in a room

[1:54] What I like about Elliot and Hallie

[1:57] is that it's this forced perspective thing

[2:00] where Elliot looks like a fucking Gandalf.

[2:02] Yeah, because I'm sitting close to the camera.

[2:04] But Dan's right, this is a two-room special.

[2:06] Wait, that's how they did it?

[2:07] Yes.

[2:08] There's a lot of outtakes of Frodo handing things to Gandalf

[2:12] and them just missing because they can't quite get it right.

[2:15] But it's a two-room special.

[2:19] If you wanted to make a 90s anthology film out of this,

[2:21] you'd have to add two more rooms for the total of four.

[2:24] So, Hallie, do you have anything to promote today?

[2:27] Oh, no.

[2:28] I guess Hallie is promoting the fact that we are neighbors.

[2:33] We live close by.

[2:34] Yeah, I'm promoting that I left my house to do something today.

[2:38] Very exciting.

[2:39] Check me out on the Flophouse.

[2:41] We are.

[2:44] Thanks.

[2:45] You look very happy, too, Hallie, to be doing something.

[2:49] Yeah.

[2:50] You have a dreamy look in your eye.

[2:51] There's no small child here.

[2:54] Well, there is, but it's not mine.

[2:56] No, there are two small children here, but they're in a different room.

[2:58] Yeah, that's the third room.

[2:59] I guess it's technically a three-room special.

[3:01] The two rooms that the recording podcast people are in

[3:04] and the third room that my children are in.

[3:06] This is all good.

[3:08] Very good.

[3:09] This is all good stuff.

[3:10] Now, I feel like, Hallie, your appearances on the show,

[3:15] you've kind of been plagued with bad luck in only the shittiest movies.

[3:19] I feel like we always pick terrible movies to watch.

[3:22] I'm excited to see if we broke that streak tonight.

[3:26] okay well let's let's get right into it is that my job yeah so i love how you were like

[3:37] like well it seems like i should take charge here but then again i am the guest now i have i have an

[3:43] image now okay okay so uh it's it's the conquering armies of macedonia alexander the great has been

[3:49] sloan slain in battle sloan i was about to say the girlfriend from ferris bueller's day off he

[3:53] has been slain in battle and it's not that interesting but there's got to be something

[3:56] about her because ferris is interested and he's a super cool jerk right anyway alexander the great

[4:01] has been slain in battle the army needs a new commander they turn to hallie they acclaim her

[4:05] they say hallie we need you to step in and she goes oh okay and in that moment macedonia turns

[4:12] to a different leader and hallie has lost her chance to be the conqueror of the western world

[4:15] how does it feel hallie nobody directly asked me to take over it was only implied so i don't think

[4:21] that's an analogy you gotta be one of those people who just takes charge in a chaotic situation you

[4:25] know okay then let's get right into it folks so what do we start with the movie what do we do on

[4:31] this podcast ali you talk about the movie okay we talk about the movies now the but the bad thing

[4:39] for the listeners that they didn't see the hand motions that hallie did when she was like let's

[4:42] start it up yeah a lot of cranking it was like taking a little rocket ride on on her pointer

[4:49] finger to the sky i know this microphone makes me feel like casey queso

[4:55] perfect impression no this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it uh

[5:04] tonight's movie me you madness now i i'd like to get something not to be not to be confused with

[5:09] mutant madness the song from the movie gremlins that was i think never released in on the radio

[5:13] madness yeah thank you i i have that song though on on an lp so that's a weird non-character thing

[5:21] for you to do yeah out of character to own the gremlins soundtrack yeah um anyway unless it's

[5:28] unless it's called creepy little littles and it's our favorite songs from movies about bad little

[5:33] things so there's songs from gremlins critters uh ghoulies ghoulies uh munchies hobgoblins munchies

[5:40] Allie, what ones can you think of?

[5:41] Popples.

[5:43] Popples were like toys.

[5:46] They were like a movie where they killed people.

[5:48] They have a cartoon, a Popples cartoon.

[5:51] Yeah, I think there was a Popples cartoon.

[5:52] Yeah, Madballs, Cushkins.

[5:54] I would say half of the characters in Small Soldiers.

[5:57] Okay, yeah, the bad ones, sure.

[5:59] So, Dan, tell us.

[6:03] Well, I just wanted to get off the...

[6:05] At the top of the show,

[6:07] I would like to acknowledge that

[6:09] Louise Linton

[6:14] who's behind this movie

[6:15] and Ed Westwick

[6:18] her male lead

[6:20] both

[6:22] problematic figures

[6:24] in different ways

[6:25] one the wife of

[6:27] Steve Mnuchin of Trump's cabinet

[6:30] and also the writer

[6:32] of a weird

[6:34] racially tinged book about when she went to

[6:36] Africa among other things

[6:38] And Ed Westwick

[6:40] You know

[6:41] Accused sexual assaulter

[6:44] So perhaps

[6:45] I didn't even know about that

[6:46] I'm glad that you told me before

[6:47] I highly praised his performance

[6:49] Which I was not going to do

[6:52] I would understand a certain discomfort with this movie

[6:54] I wouldn't recommend you give money to

[6:57] Me You Madness per se

[6:58] But it was a highly requested film

[7:01] Well it cost money to rent it to watch it for the show

[7:03] Shut up Hallie

[7:04] We're all complicit

[7:05] And now that's why Steve Mnuchin's rich

[7:07] because we gave him $5 each to watch this movie.

[7:10] I'm just saying problematic figures,

[7:14] perhaps even more so than usual,

[7:16] but a very requested movie,

[7:20] a weird movie to exist in the world,

[7:23] a strange vanity project

[7:26] for the lead and director and writer.

[7:32] But we should just get into it after that acknowledgement.

[7:37] after Elliot finishes adjusting his microphone.

[7:41] Thank you.

[7:41] Now, I think, yeah, just to make it sure everyone knows

[7:43] we don't like the people who made this movie.

[7:45] And our having it on our Bad Movie Podcast

[7:48] where we make fun of movies

[7:49] is not in any way an endorsement

[7:51] of the people who made this movie.

[7:52] We're not intentionally signal-boosting them,

[7:56] even though kind of we are, but, you know, whatever.

[7:58] Don't see it, just take our word for it.

[8:02] If ever we were going to say, steal this movie,

[8:05] And we wouldn't, but we would for this one, I guess.

[8:08] But not the movie Steal This Movie,

[8:10] which is a movie about Abbie Hoffman, I think.

[8:12] Yeah.

[8:13] So the movie begins, and the movie is titled Me, You, Madness.

[8:17] Now, Stuart, what's the punctuation like on this?

[8:20] Are those commas in between periods?

[8:22] What is it?

[8:22] Nothing.

[8:23] You get nothing?

[8:23] I have no, wait, the title I had had no punctuation.

[8:28] No, exactly.

[8:29] It's nude of punctuation, which is weird.

[8:30] Uh-huh, yeah.

[8:31] It's like the final chapter of Ulysses.

[8:35] Later on, we get what is nearly the title,

[8:39] not the exact title,

[8:41] but it gives a hint to how one should say it.

[8:43] Yep, and just like the final chapter of Ulysses,

[8:47] we're introduced right off the bat

[8:49] to a real girl boss.

[8:51] That's right, Catherine Black,

[8:53] played by the writer-director star.

[8:55] That's a lot of people,

[8:56] a lot of people say that about,

[8:57] was it Molly Bloom,

[8:58] that she's a real girl boss?

[8:59] Yeah, yes, I said yes.

[9:01] Lean in, I said yes.

[9:05] So, Catherine Black is a hedge fund manager.

[9:09] She's fashionable.

[9:10] She's crass.

[9:12] She eats spiders, and she runs her company her way.

[9:16] Dan, is there something wrong with my levels?

[9:20] Am I not?

[9:20] No, I'm just worried that we're getting more audio bleeds than in the past, but we'll see

[9:26] whether Alex can figure it out.

[9:28] Figure it out.

[9:29] So, how would you guys describe the-

[9:31] Well, it was never that much of a problem in the years that we recorded it in the same

[9:34] room.

[9:34] Yeah.

[9:35] So I described that she's fashionable.

[9:38] The movie begins with her wearing a like a white business suit that has shorts and she has knee high gold boots.

[9:47] And the whole outfit gets increasingly cheaper the more you look at it.

[9:51] So how would you get how would you this movie opens fairly stylishly, right?

[9:56] A lot of there's a lot of wall breaking and fast editing.

[10:01] Yes.

[10:01] Fourth wall breaking, talking to the audience.

[10:04] I mean, she takes us to—

[10:05] Hanging a lampshade on the fact that she's doing a female version of American Psycho to some degree.

[10:11] That's the thing.

[10:12] Five or six minutes in, as soon as you're like, wait a minute, she's a high-powered financial person who's immoral and amoral and violent, and she's telling us about her day and how amazing it is.

[10:22] This is kind of a ripoff of American Psycho.

[10:24] She looks at the camera and says, and this is not a ripoff of American Psycho.

[10:28] And it's like, wait a minute.

[10:29] You can't just say that.

[10:31] That's not okay.

[10:32] I kept wondering why I felt so bored, and I think it's because there's a lot of showing and telling.

[10:37] Like, everything that you, like, Stuart, the thing about she's really fashionable.

[10:42] Like, not only do you just see her being very fashionable, but she has, like, five monologues where she talks about how fashionable she is and, like, all the designers she buys and stuff.

[10:51] Yeah.

[10:52] Well, the most, yeah, the most influenced by American Psycho this is, I think, is in the long lists of things.

[10:58] Yes.

[10:59] The thing everyone loves most.

[11:00] Tony's favorite part of American Psycho.

[11:02] I mean, and so how would you describe her accent?

[11:05] Pan, pan something.

[11:10] Pan, well, because in real life, she's Scottish, I believe.

[11:14] She's lived in America a long time,

[11:16] but her accent sounds like an American

[11:17] trying to do an upper class British person

[11:19] and failing somewhat.

[11:20] I feel like, and it's only in the narration, right?

[11:25] In the scenes, she's speaking with like an American accent, right?

[11:29] Well, it wavers all over the place.

[11:31] At a certain point, I'm like, okay, I know she's Scottish.

[11:35] Is she trying to do British?

[11:37] Or is this like a mid-Atlantic?

[11:41] What was the old, what are they called?

[11:44] Yeah, mid-Atlantic, when it was like you could play like you were from New England or Old England.

[11:48] Yes.

[11:49] Yeah, Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn type.

[11:51] Hard to tell.

[11:52] And I don't want to make this about anyone's appearance, because that's not fair.

[11:57] But it was many times during this movie that as I went seeing her in the news, I had to be like, oh, wait, she's like my age because she carries herself in a way that she is 15 years older than me.

[12:08] Like she seems like an older woman who is trying to look young when she is less than 40.

[12:12] Yeah, that I mean, I agree.

[12:15] We shouldn't we shouldn't want to harp on her appearance other than the fact that the movie harps on it.

[12:20] And it is strange that she talks like we are meant to believe that Ed Westwick is significantly younger than she is.

[12:28] And he is six years in reality younger than she is.

[12:33] And the thing is, like, they look about the same age because she looks like a wealthy woman who has the means to, like, try and preserve youth as long as possible.

[12:43] And he looks like a guy who's maybe lived a little hard.

[12:46] So they've met in the middle.

[12:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[12:50] No, I'm with you.

[12:50] I, yeah, I, they both felt like they were older than me for some reason, but that might

[12:56] be because I'm getting younger every day, you know?

[12:58] Well, you do have, you do have Benjamin Button's disease.

[13:01] Yeah.

[13:01] Sad, really.

[13:02] It was a disease?

[13:03] It always ends up with a dead baby.

[13:04] Yeah.

[13:04] Oh, God.

[13:05] Wow.

[13:06] Geez.

[13:07] Okay.

[13:07] That was something, that was something that Daily Show and now Last Week Tonight writer

[13:11] Tim Carvell said to me one time.

[13:12] He goes, I didn't want to see Benjamin Button.

[13:14] I knew it was just going to end with a dead baby.

[13:15] And I was like, yeah, that's true.

[13:17] Wow.

[13:18] I mean, he's got a point.

[13:20] So, Stuart, so she's telling us all about how great her clothes are,

[13:24] how rich she is, she's amazing at business.

[13:27] She's mean to her, the people who work for her,

[13:30] and she has to deal with all the problems you'd expect her to deal with.

[13:34] Not her manicurist.

[13:35] That's the thing.

[13:36] Now, she's complaining about her –

[13:39] I guess she's not that mean to her manicurist,

[13:41] but she's complaining about getting a chip in her $120 gel manicure,

[13:45] and I'm like, that's kind of reasonable for a gel manicure.

[13:49] Oh, wow.

[13:50] Like, I mean, I expected her to, like, there's a couple times in this movie where they kind of, like, undershoot how much something should cost or be.

[14:00] You and I are living very different lives, too.

[14:01] Yeah, Dan only gets, like, $10 gel manicures.

[14:03] My gel manicures are, like, $5 at most.

[14:05] Wow, then you get no designs?

[14:07] That's true.

[14:08] Are you using non-vegan gel and whatnot?

[14:13] Don't give me a trouble, Stuart.

[14:14] It just, it seemed a little weird.

[14:18] I expected for this character who's like a multimillionaire to be like, my $300 manicure, whatever, it doesn't matter.

[14:26] Well, maybe she just likes the work he does because she likes playing trivia with him.

[14:30] Yeah, well, that's the thing is she's not paying for the manicure so much as for him to come to her house and spend time with her.

[14:36] Yeah, that's true.

[14:36] It's like when Jonathan Edwards got that $400 haircut and people were like, it's not that great a haircut.

[14:41] And it's like, well, you're paying for the time of the barber to come to your house and do the haircut there.

[14:45] I'm sorry, Jonathan Edwards?

[14:46] Jonathan Edwards

[14:51] the psychic and also the great awakening

[14:53] preacher both of them got $400

[14:55] haircuts from beyond the grave

[14:57] and yeah

[14:59] so other than that like

[15:00] I mean we mainly just hear her describe

[15:03] her like workout routines her daily

[15:05] life where she wakes up at 5 in the morning

[15:07] we also see it

[15:08] a lot of show and tell a lot of see and say

[15:11] there's a lot of neon

[15:13] both her home

[15:15] is decorated with a lot of neon light sculptures,

[15:18] and she also, all, like, the place that she goes to do spin class

[15:22] is all drenched in neon and black lights.

[15:24] Yeah, you get the feeling that she hired Nicholas Wending-Ryphon

[15:28] as her interior decorator for every place that she goes to.

[15:31] Which would explain some of the blood.

[15:33] She also, we also learned that she is dealing with,

[15:38] she has, she's hired a potential house sitter,

[15:42] which we later learn is a ruse,

[15:44] but she is running late and so we get to see her speeding along pacific coast highway one

[15:50] after she describes the expensive car that she owns and we get to see a lot of shots of the

[15:55] expensive car that she owns uh but other than that we don't get a lot of exteriors um the uh

[16:01] we don't get a lot of shots of her actually driving the car i'm assuming it was very expensive

[16:05] ironically there are more exteriors in the movie interiors than there are in this movie

[16:09] well i feel like this movie was just like a ridiculous like it made i didn't okay i didn't

[16:16] look up anything about this movie until after i watched it good stay pure and i was so bored

[16:21] watching it and then when i looked stuff up i was like oh this movie is so much more interesting now

[16:26] i wish i had had this information like i didn't realize that it was steve mnuchin's wife until i

[16:31] after the movie but i kept being like how did she get all this money to spend on the movie

[16:35] Because all of the music in it, I mean, she must have had to pay so much for the rights to that music.

[16:40] The soundtrack is full of actual 80s hits, the original recordings, the original artists, not covers.

[16:46] Like the soundtrack must have, yeah, that was what kept hitting me.

[16:49] I was like, you can spend a bunch to rent a sports car for a day for a shoot.

[16:53] You can rent a mansion for a couple days.

[16:55] It's not impressive.

[16:56] Porn does it all the time.

[16:57] But to pay for that soundtrack is crazy.

[17:01] But to have tenderness by general public play over your final credits,

[17:05] now you're running out of money.

[17:07] Just like Clueless.

[17:09] That wasn't the one that I was going to say.

[17:11] I know.

[17:11] But no, there's a lot of them.

[17:14] Hallie, it's interesting that you say that, though,

[17:15] because Audrey, when I was watching this,

[17:19] this is actually the second time I've seen Me, You, Madness,

[17:22] because there's a bad movie watching Friends stream

[17:26] where people played it before.

[17:28] Do you guys know this?

[17:30] Yeah, Dan doesn't understand that he only has one life to live on this earth.

[17:33] Yeah, we know about Dan's.

[17:35] We know that Dan is watching bad movies outside of the podcast.

[17:39] You can't do children like you.

[17:41] You can't just tip the hourglass of your life on its side and put it on pause.

[17:45] Like, I'm just going to put it on pause for the second time I watch Me, You, Madness.

[17:49] So she, like, walked in partway through having seen it with me before,

[17:54] not watching it, obviously, a second time, because she has better things to do.

[17:58] But she was like, do you think this would be more or less interesting if it was, you know, like other or like you would like it more or less if there were other actors in these roles?

[18:09] Because the actors in it are not equal to the task.

[18:12] But the only thing that's interesting about it overall really is like, oh, shit, that's Steve Mnuchin's wife doing this vanity project where she's kind of like trying to justify the fact that she's so rich by being like, no, I'm in on the joke, guys.

[18:27] No, I get it.

[18:28] I get it that rich people are horrible.

[18:29] See, I made this movie about how rich people are evil.

[18:31] And I would say I think the movie is really – I mean it is a crazy movie, but it is much less interesting to me if it's not Steve Mnuchin's wife.

[18:41] And if you had better performers in it, it would not achieve the strange pitch of just bizarre amateurishness that looks professional.

[18:51] Like the same way that one of the reasons The Disaster Artist doesn't quite work for me is seeing real performers doing those scenes from the room.

[18:57] Yeah.

[18:57] It doesn't achieve the same weird magic as seeing people who have no idea what they're doing playing those scenes.

[19:02] But like the performers in this are so off and everything about it is off and yet it looks so professional because she has so much money to spend on it.

[19:09] And knowing that, like, this guy who was busy, like, helping wreck the country, that his wife was off making this movie where she, like, keeps showing her butt in it while he's, like, the Secretary of the Treasury is a very, like, the backstory makes the movie as far as I'm concerned.

[19:23] Every time I think of those pictures of him, like, smiling, because he has a very, like, you know, shitty smile.

[19:30] Yeah.

[19:30] Like, he's got a shitty smile.

[19:32] And I just couldn't get that shitty smile out of my mind.

[19:36] And you have to imagine Steve Mnuchin, the Secretary of the Treasury, is having to tell his wife why he's not going to screen it at the White House for the president, this movie that she made.

[19:45] I bet that he would have been into it.

[19:47] I feel like I like imagining her when she wrote the script and passed it over to him, and he was finishing it in bed, and she was lying next to him like, well, what do you think?

[19:57] I think it's adorable that you think they share a bed and they don't have separate rooms.

[20:01] They just got married.

[20:03] They're still in love, right?

[20:05] That's true. They're still in the first glow of young love.

[20:07] No, Steve Mnuchin's totally into it. Let's be clear.

[20:10] Well, because there's also the part, this is the gross part of it to me,

[20:12] is I imagine Steve Mnuchin is like, yeah, make a movie about how hot you are.

[20:16] I want everyone to see how hot my wife is in this movie, which is creepy,

[20:20] but it's also, I guess, there's a big history of that in movies,

[20:23] going all the way back to Joseph Kennedy producing movies for his mistress, Gloria Swanson, to star in.

[20:29] Okay, so let's get back to the movie.

[20:31] The Unfinished Queen Kelly, footage of which was used in Sunset Boulevard,

[20:35] where Gloria Swanson and Eric Monstroheim,

[20:37] the original director of Queen Kelly,

[20:38] were playing characters who were an actress

[20:40] and a man who had directed her.

[20:41] It's just the wheels within wheels

[20:43] in Sunset Boulevard, a brilliant movie,

[20:44] that is not this one.

[20:46] I like watching Halle's face during all this,

[20:48] where she's like, well, I guess I still am happy

[20:50] to be out of the house.

[20:50] No, I keep thinking of things

[20:53] that I wanted to say earlier,

[20:56] but it's moving so fast.

[20:57] Oh, the person that I wanted to say

[20:59] when we were talking about her accent,

[21:00] she sounds exactly like,

[21:01] for the Real Housewives fans out there,

[21:04] Dorit from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

[21:06] That's what she talks like.

[21:07] Okay, that's all.

[21:07] Okay, that's fair.

[21:08] I turned to Stuart because I was like,

[21:10] if anyone here has seen Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

[21:13] other than Allie, Stuart.

[21:14] I was going to say, she kind of gives off

[21:17] some Real Housewives energy in this movie.

[21:19] Oh, very much so.

[21:20] Yeah, I mean, yeah.

[21:21] I feel like she's living the dream every Real Housewife has

[21:25] of being rich and being able to murder at will.

[21:26] Uh-huh.

[21:27] And yeah, so over the course of her narration

[21:30] where she's describing her possessions and her lifestyle,

[21:33] She keeps sprinkling in hints that she is also a psychotic murderess.

[21:39] So she has to rush home because, as I mentioned before,

[21:44] she has put out an ad for a house sitter to watch her Malibu mansion.

[21:51] I think she's actually looking for a roommate, is the thing.

[21:55] She's looking to rent out the extra bedroom in her house.

[21:57] Oh, okay.

[21:58] But her justification for why she needs to rent the room

[22:03] is that she travels a lot

[22:04] and she needs someone to watch the house.

[22:05] She does need a house sitter.

[22:06] Like in the hit movie of the same name.

[22:09] Now, we do get a shot of her driving up the coast

[22:12] and the whole time I was looking for my friend Chris's house,

[22:14] but I didn't see it.

[22:16] Your friend.

[22:17] Friend of the podcast, Chris's house.

[22:20] So she meets this guy immediately.

[22:25] We get nothing but sexual chemistry here.

[22:27] She takes a long time to make a drink, too.

[22:30] There are a number of times where she does things in the movie

[22:32] that take much longer than a normal human being

[22:34] would take to do them.

[22:35] Yeah, so we're introduced to Tyler,

[22:38] who's the other lead played by the guy

[22:41] whose name I don't remember.

[22:41] Ed Westwick of Gossip Girl.

[22:43] Yeah, very disappointing,

[22:45] because at first I thought it was Britney Spears' boyfriend,

[22:47] and that's what he looks like.

[22:49] That would be some casting.

[22:51] That would add a whole new layer to everything.

[22:53] Oh, how would you get him?

[22:54] How could you possibly land him?

[22:56] He's one of the biggest stars in the world.

[22:57] So this guy, Tyler, is like a real Joe Millionaire type,

[23:02] just a real six-pack.

[23:04] Except he doesn't have a million.

[23:05] He's not a millionaire.

[23:06] That was the whole thing.

[23:06] That's the whole thing about Joe Millionaire.

[23:08] He doesn't have a million dollars.

[23:09] Oh, that's right.

[23:10] I forgot.

[23:10] I was thinking of,

[23:11] do you want to marry a millionaire

[23:12] where it turned out the guy had like $1.1 million?

[23:14] That's right.

[23:16] No.

[23:16] That's right.

[23:17] Joe Millionaire is the one where they trick ladies, right?

[23:19] Right.

[23:20] Yes.

[23:20] But I think he only had like $1.1 million also.

[23:23] Oh, okay.

[23:24] He's so poor!

[23:26] And similar to Joe Millionaire,

[23:30] Tyler is trying to trick one lady

[23:32] here because he is not looking to be

[23:34] a roommate. He is looking to

[23:36] steal her stuff. He has a

[23:38] game going on where he

[23:39] answers ads to be

[23:42] rich people's roommates

[23:43] and then he steals their stuff

[23:46] which is the stupidest con

[23:48] because they'll just find him, right?

[23:50] It's not like there would

[23:52] be some correspondence.

[23:53] And yet when she finds him later, he acts like

[23:56] this has never happened before. Yeah, he's like

[23:58] i can't believe anyone uh saw through my roots i do want to take a moment here as we are uh

[24:02] introduced to ed westwick's character who um tyler yeah who not the creator particularly in

[24:09] these early scenes but throughout the movie has been lit to give his eyes and mouth a weird pink

[24:15] purple uh color uh but like i i'm saying i didn't notice that i mean maybe i didn't notice it

[24:22] maybe maybe i'm just lighting on his face maybe i'm just addicted to i'm just know that he has

[24:27] a Spice addiction. Spice, of course, being

[24:29] in Dune, the drug that allows you

[24:31] to bend time, but it turns your eyes

[24:33] violet blue after a while, and you become addicted

[24:35] to it, yeah. That's alluded to Taylor,

[24:37] right? She had violet eyes. Yeah, and

[24:39] white diamonds. These have always brought me luck.

[24:41] I was sure that the only thing

[24:43] you guys would want to talk about was

[24:45] how weird the lighting on this guy's face was.

[24:47] Did not notice. Anyway,

[24:49] I just want to say, I like his little

[24:51] beard. You ridiculed me

[24:53] for having seen this before, but

[24:55] the thing I wanted to say is...

[24:57] You're right. If only we'd seen it the second time, we would have

[24:59] noticed his weird face lighting. We could have talked

[25:01] about it for hours. He's part of

[25:03] Payet Pree's warlock coven.

[25:05] I'm referring to the

[25:07] fact that when I saw it before,

[25:09] it came with a little bit of

[25:11] a pre-show that had been edited

[25:13] together by the screener of

[25:15] Me, You, Madness, which was, I don't know

[25:17] whether it was from the electronic press kit

[25:19] for Me, You, Madness. I assume. I don't think that there

[25:21] was a lot of actual interviews that happened

[25:22] for this movie, but it was the two

[25:25] of the leads being interviewed

[25:26] and louise linton like talking like so at length so happily about her vision for this movie

[25:34] and like what a great like rapport she and ed westwick had and ed westwick looking like he

[25:41] was in a hostage video like wondering how his career had gotten to this place like how soon

[25:47] he could get out like how few words he could say in this so dan are you saying that we should just

[25:51] find a recording of you doing

[25:53] that instead of listening to

[25:55] this podcast?

[25:56] What?

[25:58] Wait, you said you

[26:01] saw it for like a... Never mind.

[26:03] Forget it. So do you think...

[26:05] So you're saying you don't think they did a lot of press

[26:07] for this movie, in-person press, so like

[26:09] they never got interviewed by George Whipple

[26:11] or something?

[26:12] For Whipple's World?

[26:14] Yeah, for Whipple's World. The guy with the giant eyebrows

[26:17] who just had a baby for like two years

[26:19] ago, which is insane because he looks like

[26:21] a million years old yeah but that baby's got huge eyebrows too it all checks out a whipple

[26:26] gossip podcast hey it's looks like that's a baby and it's mine welcome to the whip house the only

[26:33] place we talk about whipple anyway so stewart what happens after she meets tyler there's instant

[26:38] chemistry right yep so that and we get a little bit of a cat and mouse because we know that

[26:42] she's got a scheme going on we don't quite know what it is yet and uh tyler is also a thief so

[26:50] they're like both of them are trying to play the other one i guess it's kind of weird it's hard to

[26:54] read she takes him on a tour of the uh of the home she keeps trying to give him booze she has a couple

[27:00] different costume changes she lifts an enormous barbell like a cartoonishly large yes it's

[27:05] hilarious there's a lot of weird music uh there's jokes about lifting weights she's like clearly

[27:11] stalking him and the home it's it's like a very long slim home with windows all over it

[27:17] yeah and a lot of neon a lot of neon yeah and a very small kitchen yeah yeah that's true it's

[27:25] more it's like it's like a like a kitchen nook and it's like i guess i guess it's for someone

[27:28] who does not cook but yeah she does she has like half of a grapefruit and what what's her

[27:33] breakfast and an egg but then she eats human beings later that's true and she's such an

[27:38] excellent cook that's true on and on about it and she and she it's not i'm just gonna tell you

[27:43] there's not enough space in that kitchen to cook a human being i know she butchers them in the

[27:45] garage but that's it's just not enough space to do the work you need well and at one point she

[27:50] says that he ate perhaps a combination of five different people which would mean she's juggling

[27:57] five different bodies in that kitchen yeah it seems unrealistic i think we found the problem

[28:01] with the movie gumbo or something i mean that's human gumbo don't knock it till you try it i mean

[28:07] that's just showing off her affluence too because i can't believe that those five different people

[28:12] tasted different enough that there's any point

[28:14] other than showing off.

[28:16] Well, no, she fed one of them nothing but acorns

[28:18] and one of them nothing but, like, pecorino cheese.

[28:20] Like, you know, it brings a slightly different flavor

[28:22] to the flesh.

[28:23] I didn't know we were doing a Hannibal podcast

[28:27] all of a sudden.

[28:27] Yeah, I mean, the movie kind of becomes,

[28:29] it goes from being, like, cut rate American Psycho

[28:32] to cut rate Hannibal at a certain point.

[28:34] But, and she also, she's trying to mess with him now

[28:37] and she tells him she can fly and then laughs at him,

[28:40] like i can't fly and that was the point when i was watching the movie where i felt like a hostage

[28:43] where it felt like when you were like at a friend takes you to another friend's house that you don't

[28:48] know that well and those friends start getting high and the friend who brought you was like i

[28:52] just got to go use the bathroom and leaves and suddenly it's 45 minutes later and you don't know

[28:56] what's going on and why you're with these people that's what this movie felt like to me i apologize

[29:00] about that elliot i just had to go to the bathroom for a long time i mean that was i at a certain

[29:05] point i was just worried about you and then you came back and you're all sweaty and you were like

[29:07] we gotta go i clogged it and i was like thank goodness and i tried to like pick some of it up

[29:14] and put it out the window but i couldn't i couldn't get the window all the way up so i was

[29:18] just like pushing it through like a mail slot do you think do you do you think that was a scene

[29:23] that was originally written for dumb and dumber and then jeff daniels was like no i'm not doing

[29:26] that put as many fart noises underneath my violent diarrhea a lot of fart noises um so uh let's see

[29:36] So she finally gets Tyler to have a drink with her.

[29:40] Of course, he gets drugged.

[29:43] He passes out.

[29:44] She has another costume change and leaves him on the couch.

[29:47] And then she gets her nails fixed.

[29:49] And she has a fun scene with her nail stylist.

[29:53] And then she does a comedic workout routine with a ton of sound effects.

[29:58] There's a lot of boings.

[30:00] Oh, wait.

[30:01] This is the scene where she's in this thong unitard.

[30:06] yeah but like there's a lot of like yeah like weird sound effects it's like it's like she she

[30:11] was like i ran out of money for the 80s pop hits so i gotta do the anna barbara sound effects cd

[30:16] well i kind of felt like this was like the humble brag of movie scenes because it's like it's like

[30:22] it's clear that she wanted to show off like oh i've got a good body but i'm gonna undercut it

[30:28] by putting a lot of like fart noises underneath it or whatever i think i think they were like

[30:32] this scene isn't playing for comedy

[30:34] like I thought it would. We need to

[30:36] juice it up, right? I mean, I'm the only

[30:38] one here who isn't a comedy writer, so maybe

[30:40] you guys can correct me. That's true. Hallie, as a professional,

[30:42] if you had a scene that wasn't working, would you just throw a bunch of

[30:44] Hanna-Barbera cartoon sound effects underneath?

[30:46] Yeah, that sounds funny.

[30:47] Like a squeaky door while she's doing her

[30:52] squats. Yeah, yeah, the like bongo

[30:54] running sounds of a Flintstone

[30:55] jumping up in the air and running away. Yeah, sure.

[30:58] Wait, but then isn't the following

[31:00] scene when she's like, I really have to take

[31:02] a shit, and then she goes to take a

[31:04] shit, but then it cuts to her, and she's like

[31:06] also masturbating?

[31:07] Yeah, I think that might be. Now, I was wondering

[31:10] if at first, I'm like,

[31:11] is she using her arm to, like, coax the

[31:14] shit out?

[31:14] Again, something Jeff Daniels was asked to do in

[31:18] Dumb and Dumber and said, no, I'm not gonna do it.

[31:19] Which reminds me of back in

[31:21] high school, my friend Jim had

[31:23] us all convinced that there was a part of your

[31:25] taint that if you pushed on it, it would make you

[31:27] who would make you shit super fast and we're like i don't believe you and he's like i'll show you

[31:34] and i'm like that's not gonna happen and then one guy doug was like i tried it dude and it works and

[31:40] i'm like i don't believe you though oh man the turbo shit button for months you're just pressing

[31:45] every single point trying and then like you're like maybe you have to be more exact and using

[31:49] chopsticks to try to get like this just the one pour and you're making little x's on all the spots

[31:54] I wasn't for the first week.

[31:59] Quadrant 12, no luck.

[32:02] Yeah, and Pete Postlewaite sticks his head

[32:04] at the toilet and goes,

[32:05] he's trying different places.

[32:06] He's learning, clever girl.

[32:08] Okay, so yeah, so she,

[32:13] at this point she makes a casserole

[32:16] out of human flesh

[32:17] and she wakes Tyler up to join her.

[32:20] She's, I wrote down,

[32:24] She was, like, she's, like, bragging about how smart she is.

[32:27] And she says that she has an IQ of 173, which, again, I'm like, you could juice that up a little, lady.

[32:34] Like, that's not, like, crazy high.

[32:36] It could go over, like, 200.

[32:37] Oh, I don't know.

[32:38] I mean, like, what?

[32:39] Like, 125 or above is genius, I feel like.

[32:43] I mean, I feel like if you're already putting cartoon sound effects on your workout, just say you've got an IQ of 350.

[32:47] Like, go for it.

[32:48] That's what I'm saying.

[32:48] Yeah.

[32:49] It's already so goofy.

[32:50] Not 125.

[32:51] Anyway.

[32:52] And it's around now when, you know.

[32:53] Dan has an IQ of 1.25.

[32:55] They told me I was a genius.

[32:58] Tyler obviously is weirded out because he knows he's been drugged.

[33:03] He wants to get the fuck out of there.

[33:05] And then, of course, Catherine's friend, lover, accomplice character arrives,

[33:12] and they convince Tyler to stay by, I don't know,

[33:16] like implying there's a threesome that's going to happen.

[33:19] I mean, it's implying, almost stated outright,

[33:23] Yeah.

[33:24] And I've missed this new character's name.

[33:28] She's Yu Yan is her name.

[33:31] Yeah, and she speaks mostly in Chinese.

[33:34] Almost exclusively Mandarin, right?

[33:36] In Mandarin, and Louise Linton speaks back to her in,

[33:39] or whatever the character's name is, Catherine, in Mandarin.

[33:41] Catherine Black, yep.

[33:42] And they just are talking openly in Mandarin

[33:44] about how they're going to eat this guy,

[33:46] and he's like, hey, hey, well, you know, da-da-da-da.

[33:49] Like, it goes on for a while.

[33:51] Mandarin, huh?

[33:52] This is after the weird non-sequitur bit

[33:56] about how he fixed a child's bike

[33:57] that happens to be in her kitchen, right?

[33:59] And I don't know why it's there.

[34:00] Well, that was the first indicator, Elliot,

[34:03] that she sees that there's some value in this man.

[34:06] Yeah, demonstration of value, dude.

[34:08] No, but why does she have a child's bike?

[34:10] It's her nephew's.

[34:11] She doesn't really have nephews, though, right?

[34:12] Yes, she does, I think.

[34:14] Like, anyway, it's just a weird...

[34:16] Wait, do you think the sister character

[34:18] is completely made up?

[34:19] No, I think it's real.

[34:20] I think it's real because I thought she was made up maybe,

[34:24] but then there's the bike, and then also it's in the same breath

[34:29] as she's talking about her granny, who we later learn is not made up.

[34:33] So I feel like it's all real.

[34:34] Okay, maybe.

[34:35] When she talks about family, all I know is he refers to the bike's pedals

[34:37] as going anti-clockwise, which is not a thing that I've ever heard anyone say.

[34:41] Yes, at that point I'm like, did they make this movie in Canada?

[34:44] What's going on?

[34:45] Yeah, so I mean I think that's kind of interesting

[34:48] because her character for a person who is like super rich and murders people she's not like a

[34:53] good liar right like she's pretty she's pretty open about everything yeah so that's why i just

[35:00] assumed that her the story about her sister was true okay um so they they have a lovely dinner

[35:05] of human meat um and it's here where we get another bit of uh chopsticks right that was weird

[35:13] I think so.

[35:14] It's just the preparation style, I guess.

[35:16] Okay.

[35:17] Yeah.

[35:18] It was very pale meat.

[35:20] It looked like tofu.

[35:22] Sorry, go ahead.

[35:24] I mean, I haven't eaten human testicles.

[35:27] Maybe when prepared a certain way, they look like tofu.

[35:29] I've got to assume they were not eating real human meat on camera,

[35:32] so I think probably whatever meat they were doing was pale.

[35:35] I don't know.

[35:35] It was maybe chicken or something.

[35:36] With as much money as they have, you'd think they'd go the extra mile.

[35:39] That's fair.

[35:40] That's fair.

[35:40] They could have done it.

[35:42] and he gives her some solid investment advice, right?

[35:45] Uh-huh, and we find out that he's a gamer.

[35:48] Which really turns her on for some reason.

[35:52] Well, this scene makes me mad

[35:54] because, like, Louise Lynn's character is impressed.

[35:59] Like, one of her lackeys calls is like,

[36:02] oh, this stock of ours is dropping.

[36:05] What should I do with it?

[36:06] And she wants to sell, and he explains, like,

[36:09] no, no, no, you should hang on to that one for a while.

[36:11] And his brilliant analysis is, like, that a big game that's going to be good is coming out soon.

[36:18] And it's like, if this was a big enough investment that she's getting a call about it at dinner, they will know enough to be like, oh, what's the game release schedule?

[36:29] Is a good game going to come out?

[36:31] Like, this is not a fucking genius stock tip that he comes out with.

[36:35] Yeah, he's just a subscriber to GamePro magazine.

[36:38] Yeah, he's a subscriber to GamePro, so he gets that extra page that they put in that gives you all the extra information, yeah.

[36:44] Uh-huh, and it sometimes comes with a CD-ROM for you to play demos of your favorite PS1 games.

[36:49] That sounds like a good deal.

[36:52] So, of course, at this point—

[36:53] Dan, have you thought about subscribing to GamePro?

[36:55] Because I'd love to hook you up.

[36:56] Hey, they call me GamePro Galen, and I dabble in selling GamePro subscriptions.

[37:01] Hallie, Stu, Dan, are you ready to take your gaming to the pro level with GamePro Magazine?

[37:06] Yeah.

[37:08] when Hallie is ready

[37:10] Hallie and I are ready, I think Dan's the holdout over here

[37:13] yeah Dan, what's the matter

[37:15] don't you see what your friends are doing

[37:17] taking their gaming to the pro level

[37:18] he seems comfortable at the amateur level

[37:20] if you want to stay with Game Am

[37:22] not a magazine, just a pitiful way of life

[37:25] sure, but if you're ready to level up

[37:27] to Game Pro, give me a call

[37:29] okay, I'll keep it in mind

[37:31] thanks

[37:32] I think it's very funny that there was a Game Pro

[37:35] magazine back when you could not be a professional

[37:37] video game player but now you can and i don't know that magazine's still around print magazines

[37:42] are having a rough time maybe only the people who are real professionals get it maybe it's like a

[37:47] private subscription it's like like uh the cook report or one of those things where you have to

[37:51] subscribe to a newsletter yeah wait i you can get the cook report can't you yeah if you subscribe

[37:57] to it but i'm saying maybe it's like a like a secret one yeah oh okay yeah it's like raya

[38:04] You have to apply for it.

[38:06] Dan, don't you want to be cool and get a secret magazine?

[38:08] It's called GamePro.

[38:09] Is it about video games?

[38:13] Because I kind of usually buy one and then sort of am interested in it for a couple of days.

[38:18] I keep thinking like, oh, this is the one that got me back into gaming.

[38:21] Then I'm like, oh, I forget that I own it and I stop playing and I don't care.

[38:24] And you're just stuck with this gamer chair and all the game fuel that you bought.

[38:31] And you've already taken out the billboards advertising your Twitch live streams.

[38:35] So you just got to sit there in the chair and be like, what was I doing this?

[38:38] Does this magazine have any articles about Bubble Bobble?

[38:40] You are in luck, my friend, because I will go write some right now and print them out on regular printer paper and just stick them into your copy of the magazine.

[38:50] What a commitment.

[38:51] So at this point, they all do Molly and they dance around in swimsuits and fur coats.

[38:58] Tyler throws Catherine in the pool, which I assumed, based on everything else about her character, she would be very annoyed by.

[39:05] But she rolls with it.

[39:06] At this point, this is when I start realizing that I don't think we're going to get other locations in this movie.

[39:13] We're like 40 minutes in.

[39:15] At one point, you see Tyler in his car somewhere, just sitting there parked.

[39:19] Eating tacos, yeah.

[39:20] But he did not look like Los Feliz, though.

[39:22] No.

[39:23] He's a very messy eater, too.

[39:25] Oh, for sure.

[39:26] Well, you know, because he's a slob to her snob.

[39:28] Yeah, it's the yin and yang that way.

[39:31] Opposites attract, MC Scat Cat.

[39:32] You know what I'm talking about.

[39:33] Beauty and the Beast.

[39:34] Yeah, Beauty and the Beast.

[39:35] Otherwise known as Paula Abdul and MC Scat Cat.

[39:37] So the original video for Opposites Attract,

[39:40] MC Scat Cat, he kidnapped Paula Abdul

[39:43] and then she fell in love with him anyway.

[39:44] Very problematic.

[39:45] But it's the Beauty and the Beast story.

[39:47] Tale as old as time, you know.

[39:48] Song as old as rhyme.

[39:49] That song being Opposites Attract.

[39:51] Anyway, Stuart.

[39:53] So it's around here where we get a fairly chaste, straightforward sex scene.

[40:00] There's a lot of kissing.

[40:02] I can only imagine some super vanilla missionary stuff.

[40:08] I just love that you're like the way it was being described.

[40:11] You get a chaste sex scene, a lot of kissing, your usual.

[40:15] I mean, this is a movie that's been kind of wacky.

[40:20] It's been a little silly.

[40:22] And it also is about like a super intense murderess.

[40:26] You would assume that it would have been like – I don't know.

[40:29] I just assumed if she specifically said that like one of her addictions is sex, I would imagine this would have been like more than just like a PG.

[40:38] Not kinky enough, Stuart's review.

[40:40] I think this is where the intention of the movie, which is to be real transgressive and shocking and challenging, meets – the rubber hits the road of what Louise Linton actually wants to do with this actor as the creator of the movie.

[40:57] And since she is the director and writer, she can't be – blue is the warmest colored into having a more extreme scene than she would actually be comfortable with.

[41:06] So instead, I imagine there were a lot of ground rules about what Westwick could and could not do in this scene, and that's what happened.

[41:12] Or otherwise, the character is a sex addict, but she's addicted to vanilla sex, a real vanilla-holic.

[41:17] Yeah, I mean, yeah, you could be an alcoholic, but you only drink, like, Miller Lite or whatever.

[41:22] You know, it's the quantity, not the quality.

[41:25] Yeah.

[41:29] That's a lot of bunk you're putting on now.

[41:31] But I'm not sure in which direction, like, for or against.

[41:35] But it's one of these things where it is the one part of the movie where it feels like a woman taking control of a film, you know, which is weird since so much of the rest of the film is the movie kind of like ogling her body, but I guess it's on her terms.

[41:50] So I guess if there's anything positive about this movie, it's a woman presenting her body on her terms rather than on the male gaze terms, but otherwise she's a terrible person and it's a bad movie.

[41:57] Yeah, slap it on the poster.

[42:00] Quote Elliot Kalin of the Flophouse Raves,

[42:02] if there's anything good about this movie,

[42:04] it's a woman taking control of her own body on film.

[42:06] So, and this is a clear turn in their relationship

[42:11] because before it was fairly,

[42:14] they were like kind of fighting

[42:15] and it was a little bit of cat and mouse

[42:17] and she was clearly like stalking him

[42:19] to what end we don't quite know yet.

[42:21] To kill and eat him probably.

[42:23] Yeah, but at this point,

[42:25] she not like they have a very emotional connection

[42:29] in the morning uh they seem to actually be like a couple at this point um and then they managed to

[42:36] get uh she she leaves him in the home and goes uh goes to the gym where she murders a rude guy

[42:43] uh in like i think like the only murder in the movie which i'm like i could have used more murders

[42:49] right that's true yeah i mean a movie with with madness in the title you kind of assume there's

[42:54] gonna be more murder unless it's marble madness in which case you expect more marbles but during

[42:59] the during that scene though is that's when he's dancing around right yes that's when twinkle toes

[43:04] yeah yeah he gets his big satin robe dance off how he loves that tell us this is something for

[43:09] the ladies right loved that it was very fun to see him dance don't you think in his little robe

[43:15] and his in his work boots yeah yeah i don't know i yeah i mean more except it was just fun you know

[43:23] it explains how like later on he he clearly falls for her right yeah that's that's what we're here

[43:31] for fun like he falls for her later and it's clearly because he's he's he has so much fun

[43:37] dancing around in her house right yeah that's right i can sense that while i was gone you had

[43:42] a great time dancing uh but when she comes back she's covered in blood and they have a big fight

[43:48] because he's being supportive and clingy

[43:51] and she's a murderer who needs space.

[43:53] And she's like, if he's around me,

[43:56] I'm going to eventually murder him

[43:57] and I love him now,

[43:58] so I don't want to murder him anymore,

[44:00] so I want him to leave.

[44:01] It's some complicated dynamics going on in Mew Madness.

[44:04] Yeah, a tale as old as time,

[44:06] a song as old as rhyme,

[44:06] Lady and the Victim.

[44:09] Tramp, yep.

[44:10] Lady and the Tramp,

[44:12] a song as old as spaghetti.

[44:17] They call it Bella Notte.

[44:19] No one remembers any of the other scenes, Lady and the Tramp.

[44:26] There was a little Scotty dog that they thought was an ottoman, right?

[44:30] Oh, no, maybe I'm thinking of Beauty and the Beast now.

[44:34] There is an ottoman that's a dog.

[44:35] There's an ottoman, yeah, but there's also a Scotty dog in Lady and the Tramp.

[44:39] There's the racist scene at the end.

[44:42] Yeah, the Siamese cats, yeah.

[44:44] So you've combined them into a movie called Beauty and the Beast and Lady and the Tramp, which I guess is about swinging?

[44:48] I mean, the fucking Italian chef at the restaurant's happy.

[44:54] Okay, so she has a sad shower montage where she's, you know, she's getting all the blood off her.

[45:07] I think this is when Ellie gets to see her butt.

[45:09] But not her boobs.

[45:11] You keep thinking you're going to see her boobs, and then you don't see her boobs.

[45:15] Because a secretary of the treasury's wife has to have some limit, Sally.

[45:18] Yeah.

[45:19] So, and while she's doing that, Tyler steals her car and a bunch of her jewelry and drives away.

[45:25] And he tells his friend, he's like, I got all the stuff.

[45:29] Let's sell it all.

[45:30] Then she realizes that he's robbed her.

[45:35] She starts wearing T-shirts and jeans instead of crazy dresses.

[45:41] She realizes that she's kind of falling for him

[45:45] and has kind of knocked off her game,

[45:46] so she's going to try and track him down

[45:47] and crush him and kill him.

[45:48] So she, what, finds his phone.

[45:51] How does she track him down?

[45:52] No, she left a dead body in the car he stole.

[45:55] That's why she had to track him down.

[45:57] That makes sense.

[45:59] I forgot about that, too.

[46:01] Yeah, and she tracks down his phone,

[46:03] and she calls him and is like, bring my car back.

[46:05] I've already hacked and figured out

[46:07] all the other addresses you've stolen things from,

[46:10] and I'm going to call the NYPD,

[46:11] which I thought was kind of crazy, because they're in Los Angeles.

[46:13] It's totally out of the NYPD's jurisdiction.

[46:14] But they call her on that, right?

[46:16] That was really funny.

[46:18] I thought that was genuinely funny.

[46:20] And she was like, I'm calling the NYPD.

[46:22] And they were just like, you mean the LAPD, right?

[46:27] And I had been looking at my phone at this point,

[46:30] and I was like, wait, that's such a weird joke

[46:33] that has nothing to do with anything.

[46:35] Allie, I got to say, there's a joke coming up pretty soon

[46:39] that I laughed fairly hard at, genuinely,

[46:42] so we'll get to that as well.

[46:44] So, yeah, she basically blackmails him

[46:47] into giving back her car.

[46:49] So he, and then she has a montage

[46:53] trying to decide how she's going to murder him.

[46:56] She talks about a bunch of different movies.

[46:58] She talks about a bunch of different weapons.

[47:01] She wants a weapon that hasn't been in a movie before,

[47:04] and so she's picking up weapons

[47:05] and saying what movies they're in,

[47:06] and one of them, she says, is James Bond,

[47:08] which is not a movie.

[47:09] Well, also, one of the weapons she picks up is just a gun.

[47:13] She lists off a bunch of movies that guns have been in.

[47:21] And what I like is that a lot of the movies that she lists are pretty current.

[47:26] They're not all classics.

[47:27] So it feels like it's me, dumb moviegoer, who's doing the movie quiz,

[47:31] and all the answers are the movies that are currently playing at the movie theater.

[47:35] I'm like, thanks.

[47:36] I'm glad I don't need a fucking Criterion Channel subscription here

[47:40] to be able to participate in the-

[47:42] Finally, finally, a movie for me.

[47:44] To not list a gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[47:47] Forgotten classic.

[47:50] Is Tim Daly in that one?

[47:53] It's Penelope, what's her name?

[47:57] Penelope Ann Miller's the main one, but maybe I'm crossing-

[48:00] From Kindergarten Cop?

[48:00] I'm thinking of Year of the Comet, because she was in that with Tim Daly,

[48:03] but I don't think she was in the other one.

[48:05] I don't think anyone in the Year of the Comet has a gun in their handbag.

[48:08] No, no.

[48:10] There's a gun.

[48:11] No, you're thinking of inner space where a woman has a gun in her handbag.

[48:14] Yes, yes.

[48:15] No, I was thinking of outer space where the planets are.

[48:17] That makes sense.

[48:19] So he returns back to the home.

[48:23] I think before he even goes inside, he has a fantasy of them hooking up again.

[48:29] Sorry, hold up, hold up.

[48:31] Breaking news.

[48:33] Dan has a menu madness scoop.

[48:35] Oh, he's checking his phone.

[48:36] After Penelope Ann Miller.

[48:37] You heard it here first, folks.

[48:39] It's a breaking piece of news about the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[48:43] We interrupt this previously scheduled episode of The Flophouse

[48:48] to bring you this Betty Lou handbag gun bulletin.

[48:51] We go now to Dan McCoy live in his apartment.

[48:53] Dan?

[48:54] Guys, you'll never believe what I found out.

[48:56] After Penelope Ann Miller and Eric Tai,

[49:00] who are the leads of the gun in Betty Lou's handbag,

[49:03] Who do you think are the next two top-billed people in this movie?

[49:07] Catherine Zeta-Jones.

[49:08] That's a good guess.

[49:10] Timothee Chalamet.

[49:11] Not such a good guess.

[49:13] He wasn't really operative during those years.

[49:15] I'm going to say Dick Miller.

[49:17] No.

[49:17] Greta Garbo.

[49:19] Wait, wait, let's keep guessing.

[49:20] Yeah, yeah, let's keep guessing.

[49:21] We'll figure it out.

[49:22] Elizabeth Shue.

[49:24] That's a good guess.

[49:26] Billy Barty.

[49:27] Andrew McCarthy.

[49:31] Third and fourth build in this movie,

[49:33] Alfred Woodard and Julianne Moore are the...

[49:38] What fucking star power in the gun and Betty Lou's pan bag?

[49:42] That's how movies work.

[49:43] Oftentimes, before people are famous,

[49:45] they're in other movies, too.

[49:46] I know, but...

[49:48] That is more acting power than I thought I was going to find.

[49:53] It's not all Audrey Hepburn going straight to the top

[49:55] with Roman Holiday.

[49:56] Often people don't debut as the stars of movies.

[49:58] Oh, it's true.

[49:59] Anyway, a nation reels as this information hits us,

[50:02] this new development in the story of Betty Lou's handbag's gun.

[50:05] Be with your families tonight.

[50:07] We'll return with more updates as events warrant.

[50:11] We now return to the previously scheduled episode of the Flophouse Me, You, Madness.

[50:16] So Tyler shows up to her home.

[50:20] It's dark.

[50:20] He takes a knife to defend himself.

[50:23] He runs into Catherine, who is wearing a gold facial mask

[50:29] because she thought she had more time to have a facial.

[50:33] But he managed to get there because traffic wasn't as bad as he expected.

[50:38] As somebody who doesn't live in L.A., I don't know what that's like.

[50:42] And then they have a little bit of a jokey conversation

[50:45] about how he is wearing the jewelry he stole

[50:48] and how, you know, it actually looks pretty good on him.

[50:50] And, you know, this honestly, this scene is the part that I was talking about before

[50:55] that that genuinely made me laugh.

[50:57] I thought it was funny when she had, like, had all this in her mind based on the ways estimate.

[51:03] And then he's like, oh, well, there was an accident that cleared up pretty fast.

[51:08] And so he surprised her while she has, like, her, like, facial mask on.

[51:12] And then they had a dumb end to the scene that I didn't like.

[51:15] Is this the one where they say they're the cutest and they just keep saying that over and over again?

[51:19] That's later.

[51:20] That was the worst.

[51:20] Oh, that's later.

[51:21] This is when her face mask falls off like a piece of bologna.

[51:24] That was when I really laughed.

[51:26] like a woman who said baloney on her face at some

[51:28] point. But then they acted

[51:30] like it was really embarrassing, and I didn't think

[51:32] it was funny anymore. Yeah, he was, they

[51:34] were, like, making a comment about how it's not a good

[51:36] look, and I'm like, no, she looks like a superhero

[51:38] kinda. Like, she looks, it

[51:40] looks like a little domino mask now. Guys, I have

[51:42] another gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[51:44] Oh, wait, wait.

[51:44] Now, we interrupt.

[51:48] We, once again, break into this

[51:50] episode of the Flophouse for another update in the

[51:52] ongoing story of the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[51:54] Turning now to our

[51:56] but Betty Lou handbag correspondent Dan McCoy

[51:58] who brings us this further development of the story.

[52:01] Dan?

[52:01] Hey, guys, you know who else is in this movie?

[52:04] Not only is Meatloaf in it,

[52:07] but Catherine Keener is in the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[52:11] More top-shelf acting talent in this film.

[52:16] You heard it here first.

[52:17] Day two in Betty Lou's gun bag handbag gate.

[52:22] Dan McCoy will bring us, I'm sure, more developments

[52:25] as we get through the story of this movie from what year, Dan?

[52:29] That movie would be from 1992.

[52:33] A lot of moving developments in the story of this 29-year-old movie.

[52:38] We'll be back with more probably later in the broadcast.

[52:41] We'll have to tell our affiliates that we're going late tonight

[52:43] with this episode of The Flophouse in case there are any more interruptions.

[52:45] Wait, wait, hold on. Before you get back.

[52:47] I'm getting further word that Dan McCoy has some new developments.

[52:50] Dan, bring it to us.

[52:52] Famous musical producer Adam Shankman is also in The Gun and Betty Lou's Handbag.

[52:59] And it seems like we're reaching real diminishing returns with the story of The Gun and Betty Lou's Handbag.

[53:03] Hold on, wait, hold on.

[53:04] Frank Welker does a voice?

[53:06] How about that?

[53:08] Wait, he does a voice?

[53:09] He does a voice in every movie.

[53:10] It'd be more impressive if Frank Welker did not appear in the film.

[53:13] He's got a huge filmography.

[53:14] There's one person on Twitter who continues to ask me about Frank Welker, and I'm not sure why.

[53:19] Why does he just do a voice?

[53:21] Is there, like, a puppet part of that movie?

[53:24] I mean, he's known as a voice actor.

[53:26] He might have done an animal sound effect.

[53:29] He does a lot of animal sounds.

[53:30] Is he the gun?

[53:30] Scarlett's vocal is what he's credited as.

[53:33] Scarlett's vocal.

[53:34] Well, I mean, he does a lot of ADR.

[53:36] Yeah.

[53:37] But, well.

[53:39] If I knew Frank, you know, if I know Frank Welker,

[53:41] known for doing a lot of animal sounds,

[53:43] Scarlett's vocal, I would hazard a guess

[53:47] that perhaps the joke is that someone's singing voice

[53:50] sounds like an animal of some kind.

[53:52] Or perhaps Scarlet is a dog.

[53:54] Yes.

[53:55] Or an animal of some kind, yes.

[53:56] I guess we'll just have to watch the movie to find out.

[53:59] So stay tuned, folks.

[54:01] We'll be back later in the show

[54:02] as we watch all of The Gun and Betty Lou's Handbag

[54:04] live on the air.

[54:06] It's the only way to get to the story.

[54:07] Stick with us.

[54:08] We're the only network covering this ongoing story

[54:10] of the 1992 cult's favorite,

[54:14] I don't know how you'd describe it exactly,

[54:16] sleeper hit, it seems a bit much,

[54:18] The Gun and Betty Lou's Handbag.

[54:20] I remember enjoying it on VHS at the time, but I don't think it was popular at all.

[54:25] Dan McCoy raves, enjoyed it on VHS at the time.

[54:28] That's on the poster.

[54:31] So join us for day three later on of the continuing story of the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[54:37] We now return to the Flophouse already in progress.

[54:40] Okay, so she reneges on her deal, and she is not going to give him or delete the information about his past crimes.

[54:53] Because he finds the bodies.

[54:56] Oh, does he find the bodies at this point?

[55:00] Yeah, did he find the freezer case at that point?

[55:02] I thought she said that that's why she said she was going to kill him, because she wasn't actually going to kill him, but then he saw the bodies.

[55:09] I don't know.

[55:10] I feel like she's struggling with whether or not she wants to kill him or not.

[55:13] And she stabs him with a broken martini glass and then selects a knife to murder him.

[55:16] Then they have this wine and white sofa standoff scene where he keeps threatening to pour wine on her white sofa.

[55:24] The whole joke of it is just them arguing whether it's a sofa or a couch.

[55:28] Which, you know, I've got to say, I was not aware that that was a distinction.

[55:31] In America, it's not used as a distinction.

[55:34] But there is a distinction.

[55:35] A sofa has arms.

[55:38] oh and a couch has tentacles yeah couch has legs that's why a couch has legs

[55:48] and so it has legs that go all the way up to the place where you sit

[55:54] that's that's hallie's new character of the vaguely creepy furniture salesman

[55:59] you should do that in your snl audition okay okay here's another thing you could put your butt on

[56:06] so she stalks him around the house with a curling iron they she beats him up a bunch uh i think this

[56:16] is when he he finds the dead bodies right in her in her basement there's that nunchuck scene where

[56:22] there's a really bad body double so because they're only filming below her neck but wearing

[56:28] this uh expensive dress yeah like i feel like you could see the ninja turtle costume underneath the

[56:35] dress as she's playing with nunchucks.

[56:39] So you're saying, wait, so it was,

[56:41] they hired a Ninja Turtle as her body double?

[56:43] Michelangelo, the Ninja Turtle with nunchucks.

[56:45] The only way to do it was to dress up as Michelangelo to get in the character

[56:49] of someone who uses nunchucks.

[56:51] I mean, I think either one, I'm not, I'm not sure.

[56:53] They don't show above the shoulders.

[56:55] So there's a chance that it could just be a guy in a Michelangelo costume.

[56:58] It could be Michelangelo, the actual Ninja Turtle.

[57:00] It's always possible.

[57:01] You can't rule it out.

[57:03] You can't prove something's negative in this case.

[57:06] You can't.

[57:06] There's no way to prove it.

[57:07] They can't disprove something.

[57:08] So she, and she starts,

[57:10] so he finds her like her freezer full of dead bodies.

[57:14] And this is where she goes on this justification

[57:17] for all the people she's killed.

[57:18] And she's listing all, they list like what?

[57:22] Two dozen, maybe three dozen different parts

[57:26] of different bodies.

[57:27] And she's explaining the crimes

[57:29] of each of the people she's killed.

[57:30] She's like Dexter, right?

[57:32] She's a killer killing other killers.

[57:33] Yep, Dexter's Laboratory.

[57:35] There are many scenes in this where I'm like, okay, you're close to doing it.

[57:41] You know, where I'm like, okay, I get it.

[57:43] It's kind of there.

[57:44] Because for a long time, she just like rapid fire.

[57:49] It's rapid fire editing.

[57:50] She's explaining why she killed various people.

[57:54] And it's kind of funny, I would say.

[57:57] Or in a better movie, maybe I would find it funny.

[57:59] It has the structure and form of jokes.

[58:02] Yes.

[58:03] And there was something that happened in the middle of it.

[58:06] What was it?

[58:07] That ruined it?

[58:08] It turns into a PSA about not leaving a dog in a hot car, that part.

[58:12] That was that, but also there was something else where he made a funny noise or something.

[58:17] Well, I don't know about that, but I was going to say the place where it falls apart.

[58:21] I think that the PSA is good.

[58:24] I think the repeating things is okay.

[58:26] But then there's also a point where she's just like, that one was a Republican, like a crickets sound, and then this one was a Democrat.

[58:34] It veers off the idea of actual justifications to her sort of winking at the audience, like, remember, Steve Mnuchin's my husband.

[58:45] Wink, wink.

[58:46] Yeah.

[58:46] And that leads me to something I wanted to say before.

[58:50] Do you guys think Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory grew up to be Dexter, the serial killer from Dexter?

[58:53] Because they both have sisters.

[58:55] 100%, yeah.

[58:55] You think so?

[58:56] Yeah.

[58:56] yep that same casual disregard for human life yeah and he had it's like a flowers for algernon

[59:03] thing where he got dumber so he lost his ability to make cool inventions i get it and he gained a

[59:08] dark passenger okay so yeah i think that was when she says or that was her she he was a republican

[59:13] it's like yeah it's like you don't wait a minute i'm not it's one of the things where i'm like i'm

[59:18] trying to figure out what the what the purpose is of that moment like because she is married to a

[59:24] republican like it's and you know that and it's i don't know i don't get yeah and it's around now

[59:30] she's so she's chasing him around her house and she also he like drops his cell phone and she

[59:35] opens it up i guess he doesn't password protect his phone which is stupid i mean it comes automatic

[59:40] at this point like i don't know if there is a phone you can just open up and it goes straight

[59:44] to your to your text messages yeah yeah where he has he has uh messages and uh and like thought

[59:50] pics from some lady that he's been

[59:51] texting with and

[59:53] that does not

[59:54] make Catherine happy although she was already

[59:57] trying to kill him I think this has given her

[59:59] additional fuel that he

[1:00:01] also the fact that they just met the day before

[1:00:03] like she can't really get mad

[1:00:06] about messages he received before

[1:00:07] yesterday but you can't explain

[1:00:09] you can't logically explain jealousy Elliot

[1:00:11] it just happens

[1:00:12] it's true the heart wants what it wants

[1:00:15] so they get in a fight in the living room

[1:00:17] again and

[1:00:19] in the fight, she manages

[1:00:21] a pretty impressive maneuver where

[1:00:23] she manages to fart directly in his

[1:00:25] face. Wasn't expecting it to

[1:00:27] happen.

[1:00:28] It's the fucking Primal Rage shit.

[1:00:31] You think she picked it up from Primal Rage?

[1:00:35] She just loved that game so much? Yes.

[1:00:37] She obviously loves gamers.

[1:00:39] Or is it something that just happened in the filming

[1:00:41] and she said, no, leave it in?

[1:00:43] Steve says leave it in.

[1:00:47] Okay, so

[1:00:48] So then we find out that they continue to talk.

[1:00:53] We find out that Tyler, in one of his previous grifts,

[1:00:56] had stolen her granny's life savings.

[1:01:00] A little part of me is like, how is this such a big deal?

[1:01:04] Because she's got like millions of dollars.

[1:01:06] Yeah.

[1:01:07] It's not like she can share her money, right?

[1:01:12] There's not like a rule against sharing with granny.

[1:01:14] You can share with granny, right?

[1:01:16] I'm not a granny lawyer.

[1:01:17] I don't know what you can and legally can't share with them.

[1:01:19] Is there a rule against shared with granny?

[1:01:20] I'll look in my Air Bud book and see what the rules say.

[1:01:24] Okay, I mean, I don't trust them.

[1:01:26] Air Bud's guide to laws that aren't in the rule book?

[1:01:29] So they fight more, they chat, they tell jokes.

[1:01:35] He runs away from her and he gets distracted

[1:01:38] by her fancy car and sports memorabilia garage.

[1:01:41] It's very strange.

[1:01:42] Yeah.

[1:01:43] He's like, what?

[1:01:44] A signed basketball and a football and shoes?

[1:01:48] And fancy cars?

[1:01:50] Yeah, it's crazy.

[1:01:51] She keeps attacking him.

[1:01:53] He keeps running.

[1:01:54] But at the same time, he's becoming more and more understanding.

[1:01:59] He clearly has a thing for her.

[1:02:01] At first, I was like, is he just trying to survive?

[1:02:04] I don't think so.

[1:02:05] I think he is trying to survive.

[1:02:07] And the only way he can do that is by convincing her to love him.

[1:02:11] Because without her, he'll die.

[1:02:13] so they express their love for each other with her i think that's true they somewhere in there

[1:02:18] is where they do the we're so cute bit that was horrible oh but also like this is this is way back

[1:02:25] we we skipped i don't know when it happened but i referenced the uh the the title and the title

[1:02:32] is meant to be like me you it would be madness yeah like that's the idea well they have this

[1:02:39] bit this cute bit we mentioned where he's like we're the cutest and she goes we are the cutest

[1:02:43] he's like the cutie cutest

[1:02:45] she's like the cutie wootest

[1:02:46] and it goes on

[1:02:47] forever

[1:02:48] to foodie cuties

[1:02:50] I mean this

[1:02:50] it literally sounds

[1:02:51] like something

[1:02:52] you would do Elliot

[1:02:53] but I would do it

[1:02:54] for the purpose

[1:02:55] of annoying people

[1:02:56] but it reminds me

[1:02:57] of in a lot of

[1:02:58] in a lot of

[1:02:59] modern comedies

[1:03:00] so that's okay

[1:03:01] yeah cause I'm enjoying it then

[1:03:02] cause I enjoy annoying people

[1:03:04] it makes Elliot mad

[1:03:04] because he sees

[1:03:05] so much of himself in it

[1:03:06] yeah yeah

[1:03:07] I'm like the me

[1:03:08] in You Madness

[1:03:09] was me

[1:03:10] the whole time

[1:03:10] but it reminds me

[1:03:12] of a lot of like

[1:03:13] a lot of modern comedy movies they'll improv a lot of different scenes and they'll be just

[1:03:17] they're all funny put them all in put them all in and this feels like that but these people are not

[1:03:22] comedians so it's like not funny it's just put them all in put all the dumb things in the things

[1:03:26] that don't work and have it be uh two people talking about how cute they are which everyone

[1:03:32] loves yeah and have it happen in when you've just seen these people have the same basic conversation

[1:03:36] four times and he's been running around being chased by her for forever and we just want the

[1:03:41] movie to be over at this point you know unless there's new rooms in the house you're gonna show

[1:03:44] me which there are not that's so much more sports sign stuff yeah more sign stuff yeah ellie it's

[1:03:50] like i'm thinking of renting this house please please go behind that that one door that you

[1:03:54] haven't opened yet yeah yeah i want it though i want the walkthrough i just i just thought of a

[1:03:58] joke that i should have pitched when i was in the uh the punch-up room for me you madness uh i forgot

[1:04:03] to tell you guys i was in the puncher room for this one the uh is that the sports memorabilia

[1:04:06] Was it fucked up that you're doing a podcast about it now?

[1:04:10] I mean, I've heard of more unethical things.

[1:04:13] Anyway, so she should have had a case with the bottom of a horse's leg cut off,

[1:04:20] and on the hoof it would be signed Secretariat,

[1:04:22] and she has one of the Secretariat's hooves signed by him.

[1:04:24] Ultimate memorabilia piece.

[1:04:27] That's a good joke.

[1:04:27] So they eventually run out of rooms,

[1:04:30] and they have a final showdown outside by the pool.

[1:04:34] She has a crossbow.

[1:04:36] he has what like a little knife yeah yeah like a butter knife yeah she's like at one point she's so

[1:04:42] excited that she's like fighting him with a curling iron i think the movie really overstates the

[1:04:46] novelty of that as a it wasn't even on yeah that's i don't know that's the thing is it's not plugged

[1:04:51] in so i don't know what you're gonna do with it that's not just hitting somebody yeah she's

[1:04:55] whacking him over the head it's just a baton at that point it might as well be an old lady's

[1:04:59] umbrella at that point and i've seen people get whacked over the head with that so uh

[1:05:05] and this is looking at his phone danny any up dan any updates from uh

[1:05:10] i do have a good betty lee's handbag update does william forsyth do anything for you how about that

[1:05:18] dynamically entertaining heavyset u.s actor with piercing eyes this is imdb's

[1:05:25] Yeah, Bill Forsythe.

[1:05:26] William Forsythe has a superb talent

[1:05:30] for playing some truly unlikable

[1:05:31] and downright nasty characters

[1:05:33] that dominate the films in which he appears.

[1:05:35] Exclamation point.

[1:05:36] So not so much an update on the movie,

[1:05:40] The Gun and Blade of this Handbag,

[1:05:41] but on an actor who's in it.

[1:05:43] Character actor William Forsythe.

[1:05:45] Okay, so Catherine and Tyler

[1:05:49] express their love for each other.

[1:05:50] They end up together.

[1:05:53] We get a little bit of a flash forward.

[1:05:55] uh they decide to get married they end up together and they fix their lives

[1:06:00] they cease to be anything like their original characters uh they we get an update on their

[1:06:05] new routine which sounds super fun uh and uh you get that same vibe whenever you see

[1:06:13] like a new couple and you're like just you wait until it goes to shit

[1:06:17] and it's very clear she very clearly states that she's now on a cocktail of anti-psychotic drugs

[1:06:22] And that's how she can have this

[1:06:24] Yeah well and

[1:06:26] And during this

[1:06:27] The movie like

[1:06:29] Made me like kind of the angriest

[1:06:32] At it when like there's like a little aside

[1:06:33] Where it's just like about how

[1:06:35] Now that she's healthy she doesn't

[1:06:37] You know like hey everyone

[1:06:39] Be nicer to each other don't judge

[1:06:41] People for like whether

[1:06:43] Their political views or whatever

[1:06:45] And like knowing who she is

[1:06:47] And like when this was in production

[1:06:49] Like

[1:06:51] like how she you know had gotten ridiculed like it's just like hey sure everyone should endeavor

[1:06:59] to treat each other with a recognition of our common humanity but also like we don't dislike

[1:07:05] you for no reason like this is good yes you've done a thing that like yeah like that's the problem

[1:07:11] anyway so whatever i'm not gonna no you're right i'm not gonna rant against president uh sex

[1:07:19] criminal in his cabinet yeah i mean he's he's at office so and then uh as the credits roll we get

[1:07:25] like a fun little montage of their future together they have a baby they raise the baby i stopped

[1:07:31] kind of paying attention after a little while so maybe the baby grows up or something it's just

[1:07:36] it's just assumed that they have a great life from that point on and it's you kind of are waiting for

[1:07:40] the moment when it when brazil style is revealed this is all going on in her head as she sits in

[1:07:45] the bloody mess of this man she's killed but i don't know it just kind of it's just kind of the

[1:07:50] end of it it's just kind of like yeah every our love allowed me to uh go into therapy and become

[1:07:54] a nice person and now we're great we're just rich well and you know i mean like the idea in so much

[1:08:00] as this film has any ideas i think is that love of any kind is this leap of faith and like a smarter

[1:08:08] better movie it's a great a great message me you madness it's like what what you're gonna toss that

[1:08:14] At the very end?

[1:08:15] I don't know.

[1:08:16] I don't know if you've earned having any sort of moral here.

[1:08:20] Well, so this, because here's what this movie feels like to me.

[1:08:22] It feels like a college film.

[1:08:25] This is the film that a college student makes, but it was made by a very rich, approaching middle-aged lady who is married to a government official.

[1:08:32] And so it's like, I don't know if after, at this point in life, you're allowed to make the kind of movie that like a junior in college would make where it's so openly stealing from other people's movies and it's so messy.

[1:08:44] Air Bud rule book.

[1:08:45] Check the Air Bud rule book.

[1:08:46] Can a lady who should know better be making the same movie that, like, a 19-year-old would make and be like, I'm saying a lot here.

[1:08:54] I'm being real edgy.

[1:08:55] I'm really saying stuff.

[1:08:57] And it's just nothing, you know?

[1:08:58] Yeah.

[1:08:59] I think, I mean, I think you can make it.

[1:09:02] I mean, I think she did.

[1:09:03] I mean, clearly she did.

[1:09:04] She got made.

[1:09:04] I mean, again, there's no law against it.

[1:09:06] But should there be?

[1:09:07] For the pros, for saying there should be a law against middle-aged people making this kind of college student movie, Hallie Haglund.

[1:09:13] Hallie?

[1:09:14] Uh, I, I actually, I mean, I, I guess I feel like I haven't thought through the political

[1:09:21] implications of what I really, the impression I really went away with.

[1:09:25] But once I realized who she was, I was sort of like, yeah, like do this instead of all

[1:09:32] the other worst things you could be doing with your power.

[1:09:35] That's true.

[1:09:35] Of all the bad things Steve Mnuchin has done, producing crappy movies, which he's also done

[1:09:39] is, is kind of the least bad thing.

[1:09:41] And I found it fascinating.

[1:09:42] like her determination and her weirdness and her mediocrity all combined it's like a very

[1:09:51] fascinating document of all that stuff of just like executing something and not being that good

[1:09:56] at it but putting everything you have into it i don't it was just like uh she you could tell how

[1:10:03] much she wanted it to be made and she cared about it and it was like it's weird to know something

[1:10:09] that personal about this woman yeah it's a little bit like if the movie the queen of versailles was

[1:10:14] about making a movie instead of making if the women in that instead of building the biggest

[1:10:17] house in america had been making a movie like this is what it would have turned into yeah it's like

[1:10:22] yes it's fascinating that this is like a very personal it seems document from this yeah you

[1:10:30] know yeah well i i think we're in like let's go into final judgments i know it's not if we not

[1:10:35] officially supposed to say this stuff until Dan calls

[1:10:37] Final Judgments, which he now is. No, no, no. Let's go

[1:10:39] into Final Judgments, whether this is a good, bad movie,

[1:10:42] a bad, bad movie, or a movie

[1:10:44] you kind of like. Or if it's the gun and Betty Lou's handbag.

[1:10:45] Well, I'll get

[1:10:49] back to gun and Betty Lou's handbag in a second, but

[1:10:51] Oh, good. Please!

[1:10:53] I feel like

[1:10:55] there's still a splinter of wood

[1:10:57] left in the bottom of that barrel.

[1:10:59] But I wanted

[1:11:01] to say, like, I wanted to get into it because I think

[1:11:04] that i'm pretty simpatico with what what hallie is saying right now like in terms of my reaction

[1:11:08] to this where there's part of me that almost enjoys the movie because like she so desperately

[1:11:16] wants to make it work and like i don't think like i think her acting is by far the weakest part of

[1:11:24] all of it but like i think that there's ability there that you see in the movie where you're like

[1:11:30] okay well you got the idea for like this thing or that thing like i could see where like

[1:11:35] you know and and the fact that there's so much like desire to make it work like kind of makes

[1:11:43] me want to root for it other than the fact that i don't think i would like this person and but that

[1:11:51] is like the the part of it that gives it like interest the fact that it's like okay let's look

[1:11:55] inside this person's mind and the weird thing about it is it seems like it's it wants to be

[1:12:03] satire but the problem is she is in the group that she wants to be satirizing so it is the

[1:12:11] equivalent of one of those saturday night live sketches where someone goes on and like tells

[1:12:15] some like mildly insulting jokes about themselves and like see i get it like i'm not so bad like

[1:12:21] yeah so anyway i mean a good bad movie but don't pay for it that's what i mean that's the it's like

[1:12:27] my feelings about the movie are so separate from my it's hard to separate from it i always say you

[1:12:33] got to separate the art from the artist you know it's the only way i can watch certain movies

[1:12:36] because they were made by terrible people but uh the in this one it's so difficult but it's also

[1:12:41] there are things in it where i'm like if this was there are parts of it where it feels a little bit

[1:12:45] like if the if john waters was doing this scene it would be the same exact scene like to have

[1:12:51] to have a scene where it is so where she is sitting on the toilet going to the bathroom

[1:12:55] and watching a tv watching a tv screen in her bathroom that just has stock updates and she's

[1:13:00] masturbating to it is like as like on the nose that kind of satire as you can get in the hands

[1:13:06] of somebody else i would have been like that's a crazy scene it totally works but here it

[1:13:09] it doesn't really work but part of that's because i know like you're saying she is the person that

[1:13:14] she's satirizing which means it's it's hard to take the movie as anything at times where it felt

[1:13:21] like she was both trying to trying to curry favor with the world being like see i get it rich people

[1:13:28] are bad you know but also that she's trying to like rub your nose and the fact that she like

[1:13:33] there's a part of me that where she's like i can make a movie about how people like me are awful

[1:13:37] and there's nothing you can do about it i'm telling you how awful we are and there's nothing

[1:13:41] you can do about it we're gonna get a happy ending at the end too yeah and you know what because i'm

[1:13:45] rich i can do whatever i want so it doesn't matter you know like the ending is is made me so mad for

[1:13:50] that reason where it was like but i'm rich so i get to be happy forever you know and it was you

[1:13:55] know anyway so it's hard for me to take that from it but honestly the first six minutes of the movie

[1:13:59] i was like you know what i'm into this movie it's all neon it's all 80s synth music and it's like

[1:14:04] super fast cut and this lady's voice is very weird and you know but then at a certain point i was

[1:14:10] like then it was when i was like wait a minute this is just american psycho and then she says

[1:14:13] but i'm not ripping off american psycho and i was like movie forget it you're you're too aware of

[1:14:18] how crappy you are to get away with how crappy you are but i would say it's a good bad movie

[1:14:21] yeah i feel like i had i feel like if this were if this were uh my friend who made this movie

[1:14:31] and i saw it i would have like an incredible generosity of spirit about it and i would be like

[1:14:36] there was a lot of, I don't know,

[1:14:38] there was like a lot of pretty good stuff in there.

[1:14:40] You know, it'll get like eventually

[1:14:43] they keep making movies, they'll get there.

[1:14:46] I mean, and it looks great.

[1:14:48] Like she hired professional people to make it.

[1:14:50] So right off the bat,

[1:14:51] it looks better than most independent vanity projects.

[1:14:53] Yeah, but I also think, I don't know,

[1:14:56] maybe I'm wrong,

[1:14:57] but I feel like you're giving her too much credit

[1:14:59] for trying to make a statement about rich people

[1:15:02] or trying to be like in on the joke about rich people

[1:15:05] because she's like if her past is any indication she's like so lacking in self-awareness and and

[1:15:13] like how she puts herself out there that i feel like the the attempt i don't know i'm just like

[1:15:19] i feel like i said it before but like making this is so much better than like writing a memoir where

[1:15:25] she's talking about how like you know she was the object of desire for like you know this african

[1:15:34] village where people wanted to kidnap her or whatever is that what the book is about yeah

[1:15:38] it's about how she was in yeah it's it's it's offensive ask lauren about it sometime that's

[1:15:44] where i got all my information about it i will it's funny it seems like it's right up her alley

[1:15:48] but it's it does feel like it is i guess you're right it's it feels like the way she kind of

[1:15:53] shows off how the stuff she's got is by making a movie about a killer who has the stuff she's got

[1:15:59] or something like that i don't know there's a there's a certain there's a certain kind of like

[1:16:03] rich bad person glamour that there's a lot of in our media right now and i feel like the kardashians

[1:16:09] are a lot of that too where it's a lot of like we're rich we're crazy we do whatever we want

[1:16:14] and we can do it because we're rich and we're not good people and like they but i mean maybe

[1:16:20] i don't think that they think they're bad i don't know i feel like it was more of like you know you

[1:16:25] you sort of write the world that you know and so she was like let me imagine uh you know what's the

[1:16:32] craziest scenario i can come up with a you know with a very limited imagination well this is the

[1:16:37] world i live in like rich people that have all this nice stuff so yeah i don't know yeah i mean

[1:16:42] it doesn't help did you read the backstory about how she said she passed out in a hot car and

[1:16:46] had a vision of a native american man telling her to make this movie

[1:16:49] wait is that true it's something like that let me look it up real quick hold on okay hold on

[1:16:54] i feel like your final judgments and i'll look this up so what i what i will say is i mean

[1:16:59] they're clearly trying to make some kind of a satire like they're some of her like rich

[1:17:05] over-the-top rich behavior is intended to be a joke but i feel like that's that's an example

[1:17:13] somebody who's like i know people just like this not realizing that she herself is yeah that's

[1:17:19] i bet that's that's a good way to put it um but yeah i mean the people who made this movie are bad

[1:17:25] but this movie is

[1:17:27] kind of a fun

[1:17:29] bad movie

[1:17:31] sort of fascinating

[1:17:32] it's kind of fascinating

[1:17:34] I feel like if you can separate it from the person

[1:17:37] then this is a good one to watch with a group of people

[1:17:39] and be like what?

[1:17:39] it's really the problem

[1:17:43] the thing that keeps it from being a good bad movie

[1:17:45] for me is that it's actually very boring

[1:17:47] to watch alone

[1:17:48] which is I feel like the problem with a lot of

[1:17:51] good bad movies is that

[1:17:52] you want to be able to turn to

[1:17:55] somebody on your couch, slap

[1:17:57] them on the arm and say, did you see

[1:17:59] that? Get a load.

[1:18:00] Yeah. Elliot, did you find

[1:18:03] what you were looking for? This is according to

[1:18:05] the IMDb trivia. Louise Linton came up

[1:18:07] with the concept for You, Me, Madness.

[1:18:08] Now this calls it You, Me, Madness, which is not the name

[1:18:11] of the movie. But after falling asleep

[1:18:13] in a hot car following a trip to the pharmacy,

[1:18:14] she described a Doors-like vision

[1:18:17] of an indigenous man telling her to make a

[1:18:19] movie about a girl boss serial killer. So she

[1:18:21] did.

[1:18:22] Wow. Interesting.

[1:18:23] I do have one final bulletin

[1:18:26] from the gun and Betty Lou's

[1:18:28] handbag.

[1:18:29] Let's have it. Back to America's

[1:18:32] Betty Lou gun handbag

[1:18:34] news center. I'm Elliot Galen

[1:18:36] throwing to Dan McCoy who has another update for us.

[1:18:38] Hey, did you

[1:18:41] happen to know that Academy Award

[1:18:42] nominee Kathy Moriarty was in

[1:18:44] the gun and Betty Lou's handbag?

[1:18:46] Well, the bulletins keep coming in.

[1:18:51] I think we're going to be here all night.

[1:18:52] Why don't we go back to your regularly scheduled program

[1:18:56] and we'll just save up some of these bulletins

[1:18:58] and maybe release them all.

[1:18:59] Elliot's taking his tie off.

[1:19:01] Somebody put a bottle of coffee on

[1:19:04] because something tells me the story

[1:19:05] of Betty Lou's handbag's gun is not over yet.

[1:19:08] Elliot's texting his wife to leave dinner in the oven for him.

[1:19:11] He's not coming home till late.

[1:19:12] Even though he's at his own home.

[1:19:14] Hello, I'm Riley Smurl.

[1:19:22] I'm Sydney McElroy.

[1:19:23] And I'm Taylor Smurl.

[1:19:24] And we host Still Buffering, a cross-generational guide to the culture that made us.

[1:19:29] Every week, we share media that made us who we are.

[1:19:33] Things like Archie Comics, Sailor Moon, and lots of Taylor Swift.

[1:19:37] And now that Riley's an adult, it comes with 100% more butts.

[1:19:42] And now I am totally comfortable with it.

[1:19:45] So check out new episodes of Still Buffering every Thursday on MaximumFun.org.

[1:19:52] Butts, butts, butts. Join in, Riley. Butts, butts, butts.

[1:19:54] Butts, butts, butts.

[1:19:55] Butts, butts, butts.

[1:20:22] we've played called Cotton Candy Chicken Nuggets,

[1:20:24] where you have to sing any eight-syllable phrase

[1:20:27] to the tune of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[1:20:29] You have an example, Manolo?

[1:20:30] Yeah, here's one.

[1:20:32] Little baby turkey turnips.

[1:20:34] Oh, nice.

[1:20:36] Thanks.

[1:20:37] Dr. Game Show has new episodes

[1:20:39] every other Wednesday on Maximum Fun.

[1:20:41] Check us out!

[1:20:42] Please.

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[1:23:24] speaking of your personal happiness in a non-cereal sense uh we are also sponsored in part by better

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[1:25:57] your serial happiness needs

[1:25:59] and your non-serial happiness needs.

[1:26:01] Stuart, I believe you have a

[1:26:03] jumbotron. J-j-j-jumbotron!

[1:26:05] Okay, speaking of happiness

[1:26:09] happy anniversary!

[1:26:11] This is a message

[1:26:13] for Lev and this is

[1:26:15] from Jean.

[1:26:17] We've been married nine whole years.

[1:26:19] That's almost a decade of dog and rabbit shenanigans.

[1:26:24] Cooking experiments and road trips

[1:26:27] in questionable roadside motels.

[1:26:30] And of course, movie nights.

[1:26:33] From Bloodsport to My Octopus Teacher.

[1:26:36] The whole movie, Kim, yeah.

[1:26:40] You've never led me astray.

[1:26:42] I'm looking forward to the next nine years and beyond.

[1:26:46] Oh, that's adorable.

[1:26:47] So that's serial happiness,

[1:26:49] the rest of your life happiness,

[1:26:51] and relationship happiness.

[1:26:53] We did it, guys.

[1:26:54] The happiness trifecta.

[1:26:56] All of them.

[1:26:56] Ellie, do you have anything to plug?

[1:26:58] Nothing in particular to talk about

[1:27:03] except the show I wrote for on Fox,

[1:27:05] Housebroken, continues Monday nights

[1:27:07] at nine o'clock on Fox.

[1:27:09] Check your local Fox affiliate.

[1:27:10] If you like dogs telling jokes,

[1:27:12] and I don't know why you wouldn't,

[1:27:13] then watch this show.

[1:27:15] It's called Housebroken.

[1:27:16] And, of course, Maniacs New York, my comic book with Andre Moody from Aftershock Comics.

[1:27:20] It's on comic book stores now.

[1:27:21] The trade paperback will be coming out later this year.

[1:27:23] But if you just can't wait, pick up those single issues.

[1:27:26] Get the floppies.

[1:27:27] Yeah, and I'm going to – I'd like to promote – my wife has been doing a podcast these last few months.

[1:27:32] I think she has almost 25 episodes, more now.

[1:27:37] It's called I Know the Owner, and it is a longtime bartender bar owner talking to other bartenders and bar owners about bar stuff.

[1:27:48] And it's fun conversations, and if you've been missing that kind of like the sound or feel of having a conversation in a bar, this might bring you back and or shed some light on the industry a little bit.

[1:28:03] I am a, let's say, frequent guest.

[1:28:08] So if you're not tired of me yet, maybe you can test that.

[1:28:13] So check it out.

[1:28:15] I Know The Owner, wherever you get your podcasts.

[1:28:18] Hey, sometimes we get letters from listeners like you.

[1:28:24] What?

[1:28:24] Here are some of them.

[1:28:26] It's mailbag madness.

[1:28:28] That's a great, yeah, that's a good one.

[1:28:29] Here's some of them, yeah.

[1:28:30] Here's some of them.

[1:28:31] My catchphrase.

[1:28:32] This is from Liz.

[1:28:35] I carry jelly beans in my pocket.

[1:28:38] Dan kneels down and takes off his shoe.

[1:28:45] I have 10 toes.

[1:28:47] Half of them, to be precise.

[1:28:51] Liz, last name withheld, writes,

[1:28:55] Hello, and thank you for years of laughs.

[1:28:58] I'm writing to recommend a movie to flop.

[1:29:01] Perhaps with rom-com special guest Hallie?

[1:29:04] After years of my Catholic husband showing me all the Christmas movies I missed as a kid,

[1:29:11] we set out to find a Hanukkah movie this year.

[1:29:14] Perhaps something we could one day show our interfaith daughter?

[1:29:17] We failed miserably, but the most spectacular failure of all was Mistletoe and Menorahs.

[1:29:24] I realize lifetime movies are super easy targets,

[1:29:28] but it would truly delight me to watch Elliot

[1:29:31] take on a movie containing the line

[1:29:32] Hanukkah's so random.

[1:29:34] Wait, what? There's nothing random

[1:29:37] about Hanukkah. Wait, there's reasons behind

[1:29:38] everything in Hanukkah. Who's in that? Is Lacey

[1:29:40] Charbert in that? Yeah.

[1:29:42] I can only assume. Yeah, she does a lot of those,

[1:29:44] right?

[1:29:45] I was hoping that...

[1:29:48] Betty Lou's handbag. Yeah, he's got his

[1:29:50] IMDb account fucked right now.

[1:29:53] It's called

[1:29:55] I-M-G-I-

[1:29:57] B-L-H-B-D-B.com

[1:30:01] B-L-H-B-D-B.com

[1:30:03] Internet movie, Gun and Betty Lou's Handbag.com

[1:30:05] Missile Toe and Menorah's

[1:30:06] I was hoping Missile Toe

[1:30:07] Kelly Jackal

[1:30:10] From Day of the Jackal

[1:30:12] and Jake Epstein

[1:30:13] I was hoping that Missile Toe and Menorah's would be a buddy cop movie.

[1:30:17] Oh, yeah, I haven't seen this.

[1:30:19] In contrast to the Gun and Betty Lou's Handbag,

[1:30:22] I recognize none of the names in this cast.

[1:30:26] Wait, Julianne Moore is in this.

[1:30:28] What?

[1:30:28] Okay, anyway, so paragraph two,

[1:30:32] the final paragraph of this letter goes like this.

[1:30:35] Paragraph two, the final paragraph.

[1:30:37] The saga concludes.

[1:30:38] Alternatively, I'd also be thrilled

[1:30:41] to get any recommendations from Elliot

[1:30:44] on a less Food Fight-esque

[1:30:46] borderline anti-Semitic movie for Hanukkah

[1:30:49] to balance out all the Christmas stuff

[1:30:52] my daughter, who is taken to dancing to your theme song,

[1:30:55] we said in the video, will be consuming.

[1:30:57] Thanks and stay healthy, Liz.

[1:31:00] Well, Die Hard is a popular Hanukkah movie, right?

[1:31:03] A lot of people don't realize that Die Hard is a Hanukkah movie

[1:31:06] because it takes place around the same time of year as Hanukkah.

[1:31:09] Actually, here's, I'm going to, look, I'm going to break it down.

[1:31:13] And I would love to be proven wrong by our listeners

[1:31:14] if they want to tweet at me or email me

[1:31:17] or send a letter to Dan's house at Dan McCoy,

[1:31:20] 123 Fake Street, Brooklyn, New York, zip code.

[1:31:24] There are no good Hanukkah movies.

[1:31:26] There's like eight crazy nights, no thank you,

[1:31:29] and there's like, oh, there's another dumb one.

[1:31:33] But there's really nothing good.

[1:31:35] And Mel Gibson never made that Maccabees movie

[1:31:38] that he was gonna make.

[1:31:39] So there's really no good Hanukkah movies.

[1:31:40] So here's what I tell you to do.

[1:31:41] Just watch the first half of Fiddler on the Roof,

[1:31:44] go right through the wedding,

[1:31:45] and the minute you see those Cossacks torches

[1:31:48] in the distance, you turn that movie off

[1:31:50] because it gets sad from that point on.

[1:31:51] So that's what you do.

[1:31:52] You watch the first half of Fiddler on the Roof,

[1:31:54] That's as Jewish as movies get.

[1:31:55] Now, I know this is a very specific Jewish experience.

[1:31:58] It is kind of romanticized Eastern European shtetl Ashkenazi Judaism.

[1:32:02] Maybe you're Syrian Jews or Spanish Jews.

[1:32:05] It's not the same thing as Ashkenazi Jewish.

[1:32:08] That's okay.

[1:32:09] Look, there's not a lot of movies for you either.

[1:32:10] So just start with this one.

[1:32:12] Watch the first half of that because most other Jewish movies are either an American tale or very sad.

[1:32:18] So I would say just watch the first half.

[1:32:21] What's wrong with an American tale?

[1:32:22] Yeah, just watch A Serious Man.

[1:32:24] Yeah, just watch A Serious Man.

[1:32:28] It grapples with Jewish issues in a way that I found interesting but my wife did not care for.

[1:32:32] Maybe because, as she put it, every Jewish woman in the movie is a shrew.

[1:32:35] And the only cool woman in it is the non-Jewish woman.

[1:32:39] But anyway, just watch the first half of Filler on the Roof.

[1:32:43] And then when it's time for the sad holidays, Yom Kippur and so forth, you watch the second half of the movie.

[1:32:49] That's what we do in my house.

[1:32:51] But I don't know what happened for Hanukkah.

[1:32:53] I don't know what I'm going to show my kids.

[1:32:54] Right now, they're just obsessed with The Nightmare Before Christmas,

[1:32:55] which means we're singing a lot of Christmas-y songs,

[1:32:58] but they're also Halloween songs.

[1:32:59] So I don't know what to tell you.

[1:33:01] Interfaith.

[1:33:02] Yeah, interfaith, both Christmas and Halloween.

[1:33:04] This second and final letter is a very sweet letter.

[1:33:12] It's from Fletcher, last name withheld, who writes,

[1:33:17] Ahoy, floppers.

[1:33:19] Your surprisingly soothing show has been my constant companion

[1:33:22] through months of working alone from home.

[1:33:24] Between Elliot's melodies, Dan's sighs, and Stuart's audible handsomeness,

[1:33:29] you've saved me from endless hours of doom-scrolling and anxiety.

[1:33:33] I'm usually content to listen passively,

[1:33:36] but episode 337, Tom and Jerry, compelled me to write.

[1:33:40] The final minutes of that episode included both a riff

[1:33:43] on Jerry Orbach's famously donated eyes and a recommendation.

[1:33:48] I have to listen to the episode.

[1:33:49] I don't remember anything about us talking about that.

[1:33:51] And a recommendation of the organ theft comedy slash horror movie, 12-Hour Shift.

[1:33:57] Through my medical adjacent job, I've met many people who are alive today because of transplants.

[1:34:03] I was wondering if you might take a moment to tell your listeners about the importance of organ, eye, and tissue donation.

[1:34:08] Flophouse completists already know that Dan's knee benefited from an ACL tissue transplant.

[1:34:15] That's true.

[1:34:16] They may not know that there are more than 39,000

[1:34:20] life-saving organ transplants in the U.S. last year

[1:34:22] or that more than 80,000 people have their site restored

[1:34:26] with cornea transplants each year.

[1:34:28] The positive effects of these transplants

[1:34:30] isn't limited to the recipients.

[1:34:31] Their families and communities benefit from the health

[1:34:34] and healing made possible by the generosity of donors.

[1:34:37] A single person can save up to eight lives

[1:34:40] through organ donation and improve many more

[1:34:43] through tissue donation.

[1:34:44] With bad, bad movies like Seven Pounds out there,

[1:34:47] we need to share good information.

[1:34:50] Thanks, and keep on flopping.

[1:34:52] Fletcher, last name withheld.

[1:34:54] More transplant information and a donor registry form

[1:34:58] are online at donatelife.net.

[1:35:01] So, not the most hilarious of letters,

[1:35:04] but an important message.

[1:35:06] I don't know, you read it with like a certain panache.

[1:35:08] It was pretty funny.

[1:35:09] We'll just throw some Hanna-Barbera sound effects on there,

[1:35:12] and I think it'll work out okay.

[1:35:14] I know that's a great message.

[1:35:15] I'm happy to stand behind, as I'm sure you guys all are, to stand behind the call for organ donation.

[1:35:19] Look, you're dead.

[1:35:20] You don't need that stuff.

[1:35:21] Give it to somebody who can use it.

[1:35:22] That's what I say.

[1:35:23] Yeah, maybe you were shot with the gun in Betty Lou's Care Fair, a movie that Xander Berkley was in.

[1:35:33] You may recognize him from Terminator 2.

[1:35:37] Oh, wait.

[1:35:38] Todd Voight.

[1:35:38] He played Agent Gibbs in Air Force One.

[1:35:42] But if you were shot by said gun and you need an organ transplant, you would be glad to get one.

[1:35:49] You're right.

[1:35:50] Thanks for looking at me when you said that.

[1:35:52] Yep.

[1:35:52] Yeah, because Stuart was about to say that he didn't want any.

[1:35:55] But you're right.

[1:35:56] He would be very happy to get one.

[1:35:57] I don't want any, he said.

[1:36:00] Take it and go.

[1:36:02] Oh, such nice letters.

[1:36:06] What's the next part of this podcast, Danny?

[1:36:10] The next part is what we recommend.

[1:36:12] Guys, what if the movie was called The Gum in Betty Lou's Handbag?

[1:36:17] I guess it doesn't raise as many questions as The Gum in Betty Lou's Handbag.

[1:36:21] I guess what flavor gum?

[1:36:24] Sure.

[1:36:26] Is it wrapped or is it ABC gum?

[1:36:28] Mmm, gross.

[1:36:30] Just have an old plug of gum sitting in your bag at the bottom?

[1:36:34] Uh-huh, yep.

[1:36:36] Yeah.

[1:36:36] Well, what if it was The Bag in Betty Lou's Handgum?

[1:36:39] how did she fit it in there uh-huh good good questions all the the last segment

[1:36:46] what if it was the betty lou in the guns handbag that's a good question marvel's what if

[1:36:53] i'm uatu the watcher i see all different realities we all know the world where betty

[1:37:01] lou had a gun in her handbag but what if the gun had betty lou in the handbag it might go a little

[1:37:06] something like this would have taken away some of the gravitas of the watcher if he had been like

[1:37:10] but what if daredevil had not lost his sight i think it would go a little something like this

[1:37:15] and then for some reason he just does a jack nicholson impression every time

[1:37:21] yep what if jack nicholson had been bitten by the radioactive spider i think it would go a little

[1:37:27] something like this i'm spider nicholson i got the proportionate strength of a spider

[1:37:33] yeah, wait till they get a load of me

[1:37:36] and my spider strength

[1:37:37] I'm

[1:37:42] yeah

[1:37:44] recommendations

[1:37:46] recommendations of movies

[1:37:47] that's our last segment

[1:37:48] and speaking of Marvel

[1:37:50] it's not the most creative recommendation

[1:37:53] but I went out and saw Black Widow

[1:37:55] and I just want to say

[1:37:56] because I feel like it's been getting

[1:37:57] kind of more mixed reviews overall

[1:38:00] I enjoyed it quite a bit

[1:38:02] And I thought that it was interesting to see a slightly more sort of human emotion based Marvel movie.

[1:38:11] And it was a movie that I think weirdly dealt with trauma and gave that character a lot more depth than she had been given in the previous films.

[1:38:25] And I enjoyed it a lot.

[1:38:26] I thought all the supporting cast, David Harbour, Florence Pugh and Rachel Weisz were also both very funny and sort of weirdly heartbreaking.

[1:38:37] And so I enjoyed it, Black Widow.

[1:38:39] Stuart, why don't you recommend something?

[1:38:41] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:38:43] I'm going to recommend a movie that I saw the other day.

[1:38:47] It is a horror comedy.

[1:38:50] I don't know.

[1:38:51] I think I rented it.

[1:38:52] I think it's playing in select theaters now.

[1:38:56] It's a movie called Werewolves Within.

[1:38:57] It is a movie about a small rural town that is plagued with a werewolf problem.

[1:39:09] And it's got a lot of energy.

[1:39:12] It's fun.

[1:39:12] It kind of reminds me a little bit of some of the energy you get out of the Cornetto trilogy.

[1:39:19] And the leads are all great.

[1:39:23] It stars Sam Richardson, who's very funny and charming.

[1:39:27] And her name, I will butcher, is Melania Vayntraub,

[1:39:34] who you would recognize if you were low-key Googling girl from AT&T commercial.

[1:39:42] And they're both very good in it and a lot of fun.

[1:39:47] How would you high-key Google that?

[1:39:48] You would tell people on a podcast that you're Googling it,

[1:39:51] as opposed to trying to be sneaky about it.

[1:39:55] Josh Rubin directed that.

[1:40:00] I liked his last movie before this, Scare Me,

[1:40:02] which is on Shudder, I think.

[1:40:04] Oh, I got to watch that one.

[1:40:05] Yeah, I like that one a lot.

[1:40:07] I'll recommend some movies unless, Hallie, you want to go first.

[1:40:11] No, go for it.

[1:40:12] Guys, it's that time again.

[1:40:14] When I come to the end of the Check New Wave package

[1:40:18] at the Criterion Channel,

[1:40:20] I'm going to do two movies just so we can wrap up the Check New Wave package because I know I've recommended a lot of Check New Wave movies, two that I really liked a lot.

[1:40:27] One was called The Ear.

[1:40:28] It is about a politician who believes that he has now gotten on the bad side of the ruling communist party and is – it all takes place over one night where he and his wife are having an argument after a political – after a party that they went to that was full of political figures.

[1:40:46] And he comes to believe that he is – has been marked for arrest and imprisonment just as a political – just for being on the wrong side of a report about a brickmaking factory I think and comes to believe that everywhere in his house are surveillance things listening to him.

[1:41:03] And I thought it was really good and very tense and just reminded me how terrible it was to be living under communism in those countries.

[1:41:11] That's directed by Karol Kuchina, I think is the name, how it's pronounced.

[1:41:16] The other movie I recommend is called Diamonds of the Night.

[1:41:18] It was directed by Jan Nemec and is about two young boys who have escaped from a train taking them to the concentration camps during World War II.

[1:41:28] And it is a kind of very stream of consciousness and very poetic and kind of beautiful at times movie of them running away and just what's going through their minds and the experience of running – being kind of escaping into the woods and being eventually chased by a group of very elderly hunters who have been tasked with bringing them down.

[1:41:50] And so both of those I thought were really good.

[1:41:53] They're both somewhat chilling and yet have their moments of lyricalness.

[1:41:57] There's Diamonds of the Night and The Ear.

[1:41:59] And with that, I bid a fond farewell

[1:42:02] to the Czech New Wave package on the Criterion Channel.

[1:42:05] Who knows what Criterion Channel packages,

[1:42:07] collections I will bring up next time.

[1:42:10] Hallie, what would you like to recommend?

[1:42:11] Well, have you guys seen that French movie,

[1:42:16] A Very Curious Girl?

[1:42:17] It's from the 60s.

[1:42:19] I think in French it's called La Fiancee du Pirate

[1:42:24] or something, The Pirate's Fiancee.

[1:42:27] And it's a lot of fun, you know, just sort of randomly watched it one night, also off

[1:42:33] Criterion.

[1:42:34] It's about a woman who is, you know, lives in poverty in this village and is treated

[1:42:41] like shit by everyone in the village.

[1:42:43] And then her mother dies and she decides to become a prostitute and get revenge on everyone

[1:42:51] in the town.

[1:42:52] And it was just surprising, a lot of fun.

[1:42:57] I also have a question for you guys.

[1:42:58] Have any of you guys seen the movie Shoot the Moon?

[1:43:02] No.

[1:43:03] Yes.

[1:43:05] Does that have, like, Sean Penn in it?

[1:43:08] No, it's Diane Keaton and Albert Finney.

[1:43:12] Oh, no, I'm thinking of a different movie.

[1:43:14] No, I haven't seen that.

[1:43:15] Okay.

[1:43:16] You're thinking of Carlito's Way.

[1:43:18] You know, Dan is thinking of the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[1:43:22] We know what movie Dan is thinking about.

[1:43:25] Well, I watched this movie the other day by myself and I really wished I had watched it

[1:43:29] with someone else because I had no idea what I was supposed to take away from it.

[1:43:33] It ends with a very dramatic and violent scene that was, I think, supposed to send me away

[1:43:39] with a message that I am at a loss for and I read all the old reviews of it and they

[1:43:46] didn't seem to clarify.

[1:43:47] So if anyone knows what the hell this movie was about, let me know.

[1:43:52] Okay, get in touch with Hallie.

[1:43:53] If you've got answers about Shoot the Moon, I haven't seen it,

[1:43:57] but I guess now I have to watch it.

[1:43:58] Yeah, you should.

[1:43:59] And tell me what you think.

[1:44:01] Okay.

[1:44:01] In our new podcast, Shoot the What?

[1:44:04] Hosted by Hallie Haglund and Ellie Kaelin.

[1:44:06] Peter Weller's in it?

[1:44:07] Yeah.

[1:44:08] I think he's kind of a hunk, right?

[1:44:12] And Karen Allen.

[1:44:12] Oh, yeah.

[1:44:13] Peter Weller's more than a hunk.

[1:44:14] He's a RoboCop.

[1:44:14] Oh, yeah.

[1:44:16] Oh, yeah, he is.

[1:44:18] More than a hunk.

[1:44:18] That was the original subtitle of RoboCop.

[1:44:22] He's more than a hunk.

[1:44:23] They changed it to, what was it, half man, half robot, all cop.

[1:44:28] But for a while, it was just, he's more than a hunk.

[1:44:31] He's a robo cop.

[1:44:32] And they were like, we're not really feeling like this is getting at the tone of the movie.

[1:44:36] Well, guys, what a pleasure to talk about Me, You, Madness with all of you and to be in two rooms.

[1:44:48] Yeah, yeah.

[1:44:49] Feel the real energy, you know?

[1:44:53] know why you laugh at that i'm just gonna it's a creepy way to put it as always uh hey uh why don't

[1:44:59] you go over to maximumfund.org check out the other podcasts there they're our network they're very

[1:45:05] nice to us they help us uh get advertisers and money and all sorts of things and i want to thank

[1:45:11] alex smith our new editor uh stewart's uh good friend of many years our good friend who has been

[1:45:18] on the podcast way back when

[1:45:20] and does all the music for the

[1:45:22] Flop Tales. Thank you, Alex,

[1:45:24] for rescuing

[1:45:26] me in particular.

[1:45:28] Before I say my name, I just

[1:45:30] want to say that in the Gun and

[1:45:32] Better Lose Handbag,

[1:45:33] you can see Paul Bates.

[1:45:36] Paul Bates, who you might recognize

[1:45:38] from Coming to America and

[1:45:40] Coming to America,

[1:45:42] both. But I

[1:45:44] I've been Dan McCoy

[1:45:46] and y'all?

[1:45:48] So I guess I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:45:50] Thanks for having me on the podcast.

[1:45:52] It means a lot.

[1:45:53] I'm Ellie Kalin.

[1:45:56] I'm amazed Dan didn't mention that Stanley Tucci has an uncredited role in The Gun and Betty Lou's Handbag.

[1:46:01] What?

[1:46:01] According to Wikipedia.

[1:46:03] Oh, man.

[1:46:04] I bet he looks incredible.

[1:46:05] I'm Hallie Haglund with your top hit podcast.

[1:46:16] And nailed it.

[1:46:18] On this episode, we discuss Me, You, Madness.

[1:46:26] The first ever movie to feature a secretary of the treasury's wife's butt.

[1:46:31] Sorry, Mrs. Albert Gallatin.

[1:46:33] Let me just make sure that I got Gallatin's first name right.

[1:46:38] Yeah, you don't want to be called out for that blunder.

[1:46:41] Okay, yeah, there you go.

[1:46:43] Albert Gallatin.

[1:46:43] Great, got it right.

[1:46:45] abraham alphonse albert but he went by albert okay maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned

[1:46:54] audience supported

Ep. #347 - Me You Madness, with Hallie Haglund

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