Ep. #347 - Me You Madness, with Hallie Haglund

Stuart Wellington

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss me, you, madness.

[0:04] Did it fill us with sadness or gladness?

[0:08] You'll find out at this address on the Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[0:12] Sort of a slant rhyme at the end.

[0:14] Yeah.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:43] I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[0:44] Hey, we're a professional podcast, and I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:47] We're somewhat of a professional podcast, and joining us is a very special guest.

[0:53] Although, can you really be a guest when you're kind of a member of the family?

Dan McCoy

[0:56] Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[0:58] You didn't say your name, though.

[1:00] No one cares about my name.

[1:02] That was your line.

[1:04] Stuart said it.

[1:05] I said my name.

[1:06] Stuart said his name, and then you went into introducing Hallie right away.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10] Because I was so excited that Hallie took right.

[1:11] I'm Elliot Kalin, but no one cares about Elliot Kalin.

Hallie Haglund

[1:13] They care about our special guest, Hallie Hagler.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23] Hallie hails from Denver, Colorado.

Hallie Haglund

[1:26] No, that was my going up to the bat introduction.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28] Oh, sorry.

[1:29] Okay.

[1:29] Hallie is 0 for 10 this season.

[1:32] What?

[1:32] Let's see if she can turn this lump around.

[1:34] Too true.

Dan McCoy

[1:39] It's good to see your face, Hallie.

[1:41] But also, look at this.

[1:43] We're in two rooms.

[1:45] Not four.

[1:47] Not three, not four.

[1:48] Two rooms.

[1:49] Elliot and Hallie are together in a room on the other coast, and Stuart and I are together

[1:54] in a room here.

Stuart Wellington

[1:55] What I like about Elliot and Hallie is that it's this forced perspective thing where Elliot

[2:00] looks like a fucking Gandalf.

[2:02] Yeah, because I'm sitting close to the camera.

Elliott Kalan

[2:04] But Dan's right.

[2:05] This is a two-room special.

[2:06] Wait, that's how they did it?

[2:07] Yes.

[2:08] If you wanted to make...

[2:09] There's a lot of outtakes of Frodo handing things to Gandalf and them just missing because they

[2:14] can't quite get it right.

[2:17] But if it's a two-room special, if you wanted to make a 90s anthology film out of this,

[2:21] you'd have to add two more rooms for the total of four.

[2:25] So, Hallie, do you have anything to promote today?

Hallie Haglund

[2:27] Oh, no.

Elliott Kalan

[2:31] I guess Hallie is promoting the fact that we are neighbors.

[2:33] We live close by.

Hallie Haglund

[2:34] Yeah, I'm promoting that I left my house to do something today.

Elliott Kalan

[2:38] Very exciting.

Hallie Haglund

[2:39] Check me out on the Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[2:43] We are.

[2:44] Thanks.

[2:46] You look very happy, too, Hallie, to be doing something.

[2:49] Yeah.

[2:50] You have a dreamy look in your eye.

Hallie Haglund

[2:51] There's no small child here.

[2:54] Well, there is, but it's not mine.

Elliott Kalan

[2:56] No, there are two small children here, but they're in a different room.

[2:58] Yeah, that's the third room.

[3:00] I guess it's technically a three-room special.

[3:02] The two rooms that the recording podcast people are in and the third room that my children are in.

[3:07] This is all good.

[3:08] Very good.

[3:09] This is all good stuff.

[3:10] This is all good stuff.

[3:10] Alex, don't cut a minute of it.

Stuart Wellington

[3:11] I feel like, Hallie, your appearances on the show, you've kind of been plagued with bad luck

[3:17] in only the shittiest movies.

[3:19] I feel like we always pick terrible movies to watch.

[3:23] I'm excited to see if we broke that streak tonight.

Hallie Haglund

[3:26] Okay.

[3:28] Well, let's get right into it.

[3:32] Is that my job?

[3:34] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[3:34] I love how you were like, well, it seems like I should take charge here, but then again, I am the guest.

Elliott Kalan

[3:42] Now, I have an image now.

[3:43] Okay.

[3:44] Okay.

[3:44] So, it's the conquering armies of Macedonia.

[3:48] Alexander the Great has been slain in battle.

[3:50] Sloan, I was about to say.

[3:51] The girlfriend from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

[3:53] He has been slown in battle.

[3:54] And it's not that interesting, but there's got to be something about her because Ferris is interested and he's a super cool jerk, right?

[3:59] Anyway, Alexander the Great has been slain in battle.

[4:02] The army needs a new commander.

[4:03] They turn to Hallie.

[4:04] They acclaim her.

[4:05] They say, Hallie, we need you to step in.

[4:06] And she goes, okay.

[4:10] And in that moment, Macedonia turns to a different leader and Hallie has lost her chance to be the conqueror of the Western world.

[4:16] How does it feel, Hallie?

Hallie Haglund

[4:16] Nobody directly asked me to take over.

[4:19] It was only implied.

[4:21] So, I don't think that's an analogy.

Elliott Kalan

[4:22] You've got to be one of those people who just takes charge in a chaotic situation, you know?

Hallie Haglund

[4:26] Okay.

[4:26] Then let's get right into it, folks.

[4:28] So, what do we do?

[4:28] Starting with the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[4:30] What do we do on this podcast, Hallie?

Hallie Haglund

[4:33] You talk about the movie.

[4:35] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[4:35] We talk about the movies in need.

Elliott Kalan

[4:38] Now, the bad thing for the listeners is that they didn't see the hand motions that Hallie did when she was like, let's start it up.

Dan McCoy

[4:44] Yeah.

[4:44] A lot of cranking.

[4:46] It was like taking a little rocket ride on her pointer finger to the sky.

[4:50] I know.

Hallie Haglund

[4:51] This microphone makes me feel like Casey Kaso.

Dan McCoy

[4:57] Perfect impression.

[4:59] Now, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[5:03] Tonight's movie, Me, You, Madness.

[5:06] Now, I'd like to get something off.

Elliott Kalan

[5:07] Now, not to be confused with Mutant Madness, the song from the movie Gremlins that was, I think, never released on the radio.

[5:13] Mutant Madness.

Dan McCoy

[5:14] Yeah.

[5:14] Thank you.

[5:15] I have that song, though, on an LP.

[5:18] Oh, my gosh.

Stuart Wellington

[5:19] That's a weird non-character thing for you to do.

[5:22] Yeah, out of character.

[5:23] To own the Gremlins soundtrack.

Dan McCoy

[5:25] Yeah.

[5:26] Anyway.

[5:27] What was I saying?

Elliott Kalan

[5:28] Unless it's called Creepy Little Littles and it's our favorite songs from movies about bad little things.

[5:33] So there's songs from Gremlins, Critters, Ghoulies.

[5:36] Ghoulies.

[5:38] Munchies.

[5:39] Hobgoblins.

[5:40] Munchies.

[5:40] Allie, what can you think of?

[5:42] Popples.

[5:44] Yeah.

[5:45] Popples were, they were like toys.

[5:47] They were like a movie where they killed people.

Hallie Haglund

[5:48] They have a-

[5:49] Madballs.

[5:49] I think there's a cartoon.

[5:51] A Popples cartoon.

Elliott Kalan

[5:51] Yeah, I think there was a Popples cartoon.

[5:53] Yeah, Madballs, Kooshkins.

Stuart Wellington

[5:54] I would say half of the characters in Small Soldiers.

Elliott Kalan

[5:58] Okay, yeah, the bad ones.

[5:59] Sure.

[6:00] So, Dan, tell us.

[6:03] Babe.

Dan McCoy

[6:03] Well, I just wanted to get off the-

[6:05] At the top of the show, I would like to acknowledge that the Louise Linton, who's behind this movie-

[6:16] And in front of it.

[6:17] And Ed Westwick, her male lead, both problematic figures in different ways.

[6:26] One, the wife of Steve Mnuchin of Trump's cabinet, and also the writer of a weird racially tinged book about when she went to Africa, among other things.

[6:39] And Ed Westwick, you know, accused sexual assaulter.

[6:44] So, perhaps-

Elliott Kalan

[6:45] I didn't even know about that.

[6:46] I'm glad that you told me before.

[6:48] I highly praised his performance.

[6:49] Not.

[6:50] Yeah.

[6:50] Which I was not going to do.

Dan McCoy

[6:52] I would understand a certain discomfort with this movie.

[6:55] I wouldn't recommend you give money to Me, You Madness, per se.

[6:59] But it was a highly requested film.

[7:00] Well, it costs money to rent it, to watch it for the show, so.

Elliott Kalan

[7:04] Shut up, Hallie.

[7:04] Shut up.

[7:05] We're all complicit.

[7:05] And now that's why Steve Mnuchin's rich, because we gave him $5 each to watch this movie.

Dan McCoy

[7:11] I'm just saying, problematic figures, perhaps even more so than usual.

[7:16] But a very requested movie, a weird movie to exist in the world.

[7:24] Mm-hmm.

[7:24] A strange vanity project for the lead and director and writer.

[7:33] But we should just get into it after that acknowledgement and after Elliot finishes adjusting his microphone.

Elliott Kalan

[7:41] Thank you.

[7:41] Now, I think, yeah, just to make sure everyone knows we don't like the people who made this movie.

[7:46] Mm-hmm.

[7:46] And our having it on our bad movie podcast where we make fun of movies is not in any way an endorsement of the people who made this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[7:53] This is not an intent, we're not intentionally signal boosting them, even though kind of we are, but we, you know, whatever.

Hallie Haglund

[8:00] Don't see it, just take our word for it.

Elliott Kalan

[8:02] If ever, if ever we were going to say, steal this movie, and we wouldn't, but we would for this one, I guess.

Stuart Wellington

[8:08] Uh-huh.

[8:09] You wouldn't steal a DVD.

[8:09] But not the movie, steal this movie, which is a movie about Abby Hoffman, I think.

[8:12] Yeah.

[8:13] So, the movie begins, and the movie is titled, Me, You, Madness.

Elliott Kalan

[8:17] Now, Stuart, take me, what's the punctuation like on this?

[8:20] Are those commas in between periods?

[8:22] What is it?

Stuart Wellington

[8:23] Nothing.

[8:23] You got nothing?

[8:23] There's, I have no, no, wait, is, the, the title I had had no punctuation.

Elliott Kalan

[8:28] No, it's, exactly, it's new to punctuation, which is weird.

[8:31] Uh-huh, it's, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[8:32] Later on.

[8:33] It's like the final chapter of Ulysses.

Dan McCoy

[8:35] Later on, we get, we get, uh, what is nearly the title, not, not the exact title, but it gives a hint to how one should say it.

[8:44] Uh.

Stuart Wellington

[8:44] Mm-hmm.

[8:45] Yep, and just like the final chapter of Ulysses, we're introduced right off the bat to a real girl boss.

[8:51] That's right.

[8:53] Catherine Black, played by the writer-director star.

Elliott Kalan

[8:55] That's, a lot of people, a lot of people say that about, was it Molly Bloom, that she's a real girl boss?

[8:59] Yeah, yeah.

[9:00] Yes, I said yes, lean in, I said yes.

Stuart Wellington

[9:02] Uh, so Catherine Black is a hedge fund manager.

[9:09] Uh, she's fashionable, she's crass, she eats spiders, and she runs her company her way.

[9:18] Uh, Dan, is there something wrong with my levels?

[9:20] Am I not?

Dan McCoy

[9:20] No, I'm just worried that we're getting more, uh, audio bleeds than in the past, but, uh,

[9:25] we'll see whether Alex can figure it out.

[9:28] Figure it out.

[9:29] Um, so how would you guys describe the-

Elliott Kalan

[9:31] It was never that much of a problem in the years that we recorded it in the same room.

[9:35] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[9:35] True.

[9:36] So, uh, I described that she's fashionable.

[9:39] Uh, the movie begins with her wearing a, like a white, uh, business suit that has shorts,

[9:45] and she has knee-high gold boots, that, and the whole outfit gets increasingly cheaper the

[9:50] more you look at it.

[9:51] Um, so, uh, how would you get, how would you, this movie opens fairly stylishly, right?

[9:57] A lot of, a lot of-

[9:58] I mean, certainly there's a lot of-

Dan McCoy

[9:59] Fourth wall breaking and fast editing.

[10:01] Yes, fourth wall breaking, talking to the audience.

[10:04] I mean, she takes us through-

[10:06] Hanging a lampshade on the fact that she's doing a female version of American Psycho to

[10:11] some degree.

Elliott Kalan

[10:11] That's the thing.

[10:12] You know, five or six minutes in, as soon as you're like, wait a minute, she's a high-powered

[10:16] financial person who's immoral and amoral and violent, and she's telling us about her

[10:21] day and how amazing it is.

[10:22] This is kind of a ripoff of American Psycho.

[10:24] She looks at the camera and says, and this is not a ripoff of American Psycho.

[10:28] And it's like, wait a minute, you can't just say that.

[10:31] That's not okay.

Hallie Haglund

[10:32] I kept wondering why I felt so bored, and I think it's because there's a lot of showing

[10:36] and telling.

[10:38] Like, everything that you, like, Stuart, the thing about she's really fashionable.

[10:42] Like, not only do you just see her being very fashionable, but she has, like, five monologues

[10:47] where she talks about how fashionable she is and, like, all the designers she buys and stuff.

Dan McCoy

[10:52] Yeah.

[10:52] Well, the most, yeah, the most influenced by American Psycho this is, I think, is in the

[10:56] long lists of things.

Stuart Wellington

[10:59] Yes.

[10:59] The thing everyone loves most.

[11:00] Everybody's favorite part of American Psycho.

Elliott Kalan

[11:03] I mean, and so how would you describe her accent?

Hallie Haglund

[11:08] Well.

[11:08] Pan.

[11:09] Pan something.

[11:11] Pan.

[11:11] Like Peter Pan.

Elliott Kalan

[11:12] Because in real life, she's Scottish, I believe.

[11:14] She's lived in America a long time, but her accent sounds like an American trying to do

[11:18] an upper-class British person and failing somewhat.

[11:21] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[11:22] I feel like, and it's only in the narration, right?

[11:25] In the scenes, she's speaking with, like, an American accent, right?

Dan McCoy

[11:29] Well, it wavers all over the place.

[11:31] Like, at a certain point, I'm like, okay, is she, like, I know she's Scottish.

[11:35] Is she trying to do British?

[11:37] Or is this, like, a, like, a, like, what, what, mid-Atlantic?

[11:41] Like, what was the old, like, what do they call it?

[11:44] Yeah, mid-Atlantic.

Elliott Kalan

[11:45] When it was, like, you could play, like, you were from New England or Old England.

[11:48] Yes.

[11:49] Yeah, Cary Grant, Catherine Hepburn type, you know.

[11:51] Hard to tell.

[11:53] And I don't want to, I don't want to make this about anyone's appearance, because that's

[11:56] not fair.

[11:57] But this, it was many times during this movie that as I went, with seeing her in the news,

[12:00] I had to be like, oh, wait, she's, like, my age, because she carries herself in a way

[12:06] that she is 15 years older than me.

[12:08] Like, she seems like an older woman who is trying to look young when she is less than 40.

Dan McCoy

[12:13] Yeah, that, I mean, I agree, we shouldn't, we shouldn't talk about her appearance.

[12:18] Other than the fact that the movie harps on it, and it is strange that she talks, like,

[12:23] we are meant to believe that Ed Westwick is significantly younger than she is, and he is

[12:30] six years in reality younger than she is, and the thing is, like, they look about the same

[12:36] age, because she looks like a wealthy woman who has the means to, like, try and preserve

[12:41] youth as long as possible, and he looks like a guy who's maybe lived a little hard, so they've

[12:46] met in the middle.

Stuart Wellington

[12:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I'm with you.

[12:50] I, yeah, I, they both felt like they were older than me for some reason, but that might

[12:56] be because I'm getting younger every day, you know.

Elliott Kalan

[12:59] Well, you do have, you do have Benjamin Button's disease, yeah, yeah, sad, really.

[13:02] It was a disease?

[13:02] It always ends up with a dead baby, yeah.

[13:05] Oh, God.

Stuart Wellington

[13:06] Oh, wow.

[13:06] Jeez.

[13:07] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[13:07] That was something that Daily Show and now, last week tonight, writer Tim Carvel said to

[13:12] me one time, he goes, I didn't want to see Benjamin Button, I knew it was just going to end

[13:15] with a dead baby.

Dan McCoy

[13:16] And I was like, yeah, that's true.

[13:18] Wow.

[13:19] I mean, he's got a point.

[13:20] Oh.

[13:21] Ooh.

Elliott Kalan

[13:21] Okay.

[13:22] So, Stuart, so she's telling us all about how great her clothes are, how rich she is.

[13:26] She's amazing at business.

Stuart Wellington

[13:27] She's mean to her, the people who work for her, and she, you know, she has to deal with

[13:32] all the problems you'd expect her to deal with.

[13:33] Not her manicurist.

[13:35] That's the thing.

[13:36] Now, she's complaining about her, she's, I guess she's not that mean to her manicurist,

[13:41] but she's complaining about getting a chip in her $120 gel manicure, and I'm like, that's

[13:47] kind of reasonable for a gel manicure.

[13:49] Oh, wow.

[13:50] Like, I mean, I expected her to, like, there's a couple times in this movie where they kind

[13:56] of, like, undershoot how much something should cost or be.

[14:00] You and I are living very different lives, too.

[14:01] Yeah, Dan only gets, like, $10 gel manicures.

[14:03] My gel manicures are, like, $5 at most.

[14:05] Wow, then you get no designs?

[14:07] That's true.

[14:09] Are you using non-vegan gel and whatnot?

[14:13] Don't give me a trouble, Stuart.

[14:16] It just, it seemed a little weird.

[14:18] Like, I expected for this character who's, like, a multi-millionaire to be, like, my $300

[14:24] manicure, whatever, it doesn't matter.

Hallie Haglund

[14:26] Well, maybe she just likes the work he does.

[14:28] You're saying not rich enough.

[14:29] Because she likes playing trivia with him.

Elliott Kalan

[14:31] Yeah, well, that's the thing is, she's not paying for the manicure so much as for him

[14:34] to come to her house and spend time with her.

[14:36] Yeah, that's true.

[14:36] That's like when Jonathan Edwards got that $400 haircut and people were like, it's not

[14:40] that great a haircut.

[14:41] And it's like, well, you're paying for the time of the barber to come to your house and

[14:44] do the haircut there.

[14:45] I'm sorry, Jonathan Edwards?

[14:47] Yeah.

[14:48] Famous.

[14:48] We all know him.

[14:50] Jonathan Edwards, the psychic, and also the Great Awakening Preacher.

[14:54] Both of them got $400 haircuts from beyond the grave.

Stuart Wellington

[14:59] And yeah, so other than that, like, I think she, I mean, we mainly just hear her describe

[15:03] her, like, workout routines, her daily life where she wakes up at five in the morning.

[15:07] And then we see it.

Stuart Wellington

[15:07] We also see it.

[15:08] Yeah.

[15:08] We also see it.

[15:09] Yep.

[15:09] A lot of show and tell, a lot of see and say.

[15:11] Yeah.

[15:11] Or say and see.

[15:12] There's a lot of neon.

[15:14] Both her home is decorated with a lot of neon light sculptures.

[15:18] And she also all, like, the place that she goes to do spin class is all drenched in neon

[15:24] and black lights.

Elliott Kalan

[15:25] Yeah, you get the feeling that she hired Nicholas Wending-Royfin as her interior decorator

[15:29] for every place that she goes to.

Stuart Wellington

[15:31] Which would explain some of the blood.

[15:34] She also, we also learned that she is dealing with, she has, she's hired a potential house

[15:42] sitter, which we later learn is a ruse, but she is running late.

[15:47] And so we get to see her speeding along Pacific Ghost Highway 1 after she describes the expensive

[15:52] car that she owns, and we get to see a lot of shots of the expensive car that she owns.

[15:57] But other than that, we don't get a lot of exteriors.

[16:01] We don't get a lot of shots of her actually driving the car.

[16:03] I'm assuming it was very expensive.

Elliott Kalan

[16:06] Ironically, there are more exteriors in the movie interiors than there are in this movie.

Hallie Haglund

[16:10] Well, I feel like this movie was just, like, a ridiculous, like, I didn't, okay, I didn't

[16:16] look up anything about this movie until after I watched it.

[16:19] Good.

[16:20] Stay pure.

[16:20] And I was so bored watching it.

[16:22] And then when I looked stuff up, I was like, oh, this movie is so much more interesting

[16:25] now.

[16:26] I wish I had had this information.

[16:28] Like, I didn't realize that it was Steve Mnuchin's wife until after the movie.

[16:32] But I kept being like, how did she get all this money to spend on the movie?

[16:35] Because all of the music in it, I mean, she must have had to pay so much for the rights

[16:39] to that music.

Elliott Kalan

[16:40] The soundtrack is full of actual 80s hits, the original recordings, the original artists,

[16:46] not covers.

[16:46] Like, the soundtrack must have, yeah, that was what kept hitting me.

[16:49] I was like, you can spend a bunch to rent a sports car for a day for a shoot.

[16:53] You can rent a mansion for a couple days.

[16:55] It's not impressive.

[16:56] Porn does it all the time.

[16:57] But to pay for that soundtrack is crazy.

Dan McCoy

[17:01] It must have been a hugely expensive.

[17:02] You have tenderness by general public play over your final credits.

[17:06] Now you're running into money.

[17:08] Just like Clueless.

[17:09] I mean, that wasn't the one that I was going to say.

[17:11] I know.

[17:12] But no, there's a lot.

[17:13] There is a lot of them.

[17:14] Hallie, it's interesting that you say that, though, because like, Audrey, when I was watching

[17:19] this, this is actually the second time I've seen Me, You, Madness, because there's like

[17:23] a bad movie watching like Friends stream where like people played it before.

[17:28] And she's like.

[17:29] And Dan doesn't understand.

[17:30] Do you guys know this?

[17:30] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[17:30] Dan doesn't understand that he only has one life to live on this.

[17:34] Yeah, we know about Dan's.

[17:35] I don't.

[17:36] We know that Dan is watching bad movies outside of the podcast.

[17:39] You can't just do children like you.

Stuart Wellington

[17:41] You can't just tip the hourglass of your life on its side and put it on pause.

Elliott Kalan

[17:46] Like, I'm just going to put it on pause for the second time I watch Me, You, Madness.

Dan McCoy

[17:51] So she like walked in partway through having seen it with me before, not watching it, obviously,

[17:56] a second time because she has better things to do.

[17:58] But she was like, do you think this would be more or less interesting if it was, you know,

[18:03] like other or like you would like it more or less if there were other actors in these

[18:08] roles?

[18:09] Because the actors in it are not equal to the task.

[18:13] But the only thing that's interesting about it overall really is like, oh, shit, that's

[18:18] Steve Mnuchin's wife doing this vanity project where she's kind of like trying to justify the

[18:23] fact that she's so rich by being like, no, I'm in on the joke, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[18:27] No, I get it.

[18:28] I get it that rich people are horrible.

[18:29] See, I made this movie about how rich people are evil.

[18:32] And I would say I think the movie is really – I mean it is a crazy movie.

[18:37] But it is much less interesting to me if it's not Steve Mnuchin's wife.

[18:41] And if you had better performers in it, it would not achieve the strange pitch of like just

[18:48] bizarre amateurishness that looks professional.

[18:51] Like the same way that – one of the reasons The Disaster Artist doesn't quite work for

[18:54] me is seeing real performers doing those scenes from the room.

[18:57] Yeah.

[18:57] It doesn't achieve the same weird magic as seeing people who have no idea what they're

[19:01] doing playing those scenes.

[19:02] But like the performers in this are so off.

[19:06] And everything about it is off.

[19:07] And yet it looks so professional because she has so much money to spend on it.

[19:10] And knowing that like this guy who was busy like helping wreck the country, that his

[19:15] wife was off making this movie where she like keeps showing her butt in it.

[19:19] Well, he's like the Secretary of the Treasury is a very – like the back story makes the

[19:22] movie as far as I'm concerned.

Stuart Wellington

[19:23] Every time I think of those pictures of him like smiling because he has a very like, you

[19:29] know, shitty smile.

[19:30] Yeah.

[19:30] Like he's got a shitty smile.

[19:32] And I just couldn't get that shitty smile out of my mind.

[19:36] So –

Elliott Kalan

[19:36] And you wonder – you have to imagine Steve Mnuchin, the Secretary of the Treasury, is

[19:39] like – is having to tell his wife why he's not going to screen it at the White

[19:42] House for the president, this movie that she made.

Hallie Haglund

[19:45] I bet that he would have been into it.

[19:47] I feel like I like imagining the – her – when she wrote the script and passed it over

[19:52] to him and he was like finishing it in bed and she was like next to him like, well, what

[19:56] do you think?

Elliott Kalan

[19:57] Yeah.

[19:58] I think it's adorable that you think they share a bed and they don't have separate rooms.

Hallie Haglund

[20:02] They just got married.

[20:04] They're still in love, right?

Elliott Kalan

[20:05] They're still in the first glow of young love.

Dan McCoy

[20:07] No, Steve Mnuchin's totally into it.

[20:09] Let's be clear.

Elliott Kalan

[20:10] Oh, because there's also the part – this is the gross part to me is I imagine Steve Mnuchin

[20:14] is like, yeah, make a movie about how hot you are.

[20:16] I want everyone to see how hot my wife is in this movie, which is creepy, but it's also

[20:21] I guess there's a big history of that in movies going all the way back to Joseph Kennedy producing

[20:26] movies for his mistress, Gloria Swanson, to star in.

[20:30] Okay, so let's get back to the movie.

[20:31] The unfinished Queen Kelly, footage of which was used in Sunset Boulevard where Gloria Swanson

[20:36] and Eric Monstroheim, the original director of Queen Kelly, were playing characters who

[20:40] were an actress and a man who had directed her.

[20:41] It's just the wheels within wheels in Sunset Boulevard, a brilliant movie that is not this

[20:45] one.

Dan McCoy

[20:46] I like watching Hallie's face during all this, but she's like, well, I guess I still am happy

[20:50] to be out of the house.

Hallie Haglund

[20:51] No, I keep thinking of things that I wanted to say earlier, but it's moving so fast.

[20:57] Oh, the person that I wanted to say when we were talking about her accent, she sounds exactly

[21:01] like, for the Real Housewives fans out there, Dorit from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

[21:06] That's what she talks like.

[21:07] Okay, that's all.

Dan McCoy

[21:08] Okay, that's fair.

[21:08] I turned to Stewart because I was like, if anyone appears seeing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

[21:13] other than Hallie, it's too.

Stuart Wellington

[21:14] I was going to say, she kind of gives off some Real Housewives energy in this movie.

[21:19] Oh, very much so.

[21:20] Yeah, I mean, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[21:22] I feel like she's living the dream every Real Housewife has of being rich and being able

[21:26] to murder at will.

[21:27] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[21:28] And yeah, so over the course of her narration where she's describing her possessions and her

[21:32] lifestyle, she keeps sprinkling in hints that she is also a psychotic murderess.

[21:40] So she has to rush home because, as I mentioned before, she has put out an ad for a house sitter

[21:48] to watch her Malibu mansion.

Elliott Kalan

[21:51] I think she's actually looking for a roommate is the thing.

[21:55] She's looking to rent out the extra bedroom in her house.

[21:58] Oh, okay.

[21:58] Which is why it's like a roommate.

Hallie Haglund

[21:59] Her justification for why she needs to rent the room is that she travels a lot and she

[22:04] needs so much to watch the house.

[22:05] She does need a house sitter.

Elliott Kalan

[22:07] Like in the hit movie of the same name.

Stuart Wellington

[22:09] Now, we do get a shot of her driving up the coast and the whole time I was looking for

[22:13] my friend Chris's house, but I didn't see it.

[22:16] Your friend.

[22:18] Friend of the podcast, Chris's house.

[22:21] So she meets this guy immediately.

[22:25] We get nothing but sexual chemistry here.

Elliott Kalan

[22:29] She takes a long time to make a drink, too.

[22:30] There are a number of times where she does things in the movie that take much longer than

[22:33] a normal human being would take to do them.

Stuart Wellington

[22:36] Yeah.

[22:36] So we're introduced to Tyler, who's the other lead played by the guy whose name I don't

[22:41] remember.

[22:42] Ed Westwick of Gossip Girl.

[22:44] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[22:44] Very disappointing because at first I thought it was Britney Spears' boyfriend.

[22:48] That's what he looks like.

Dan McCoy

[22:50] That would be some casting.

[22:51] That would add a whole new layer.

Elliott Kalan

[22:53] Oh, how would you get him?

[22:54] How could you possibly land him?

[22:56] He's one of the biggest stars in the world.

Stuart Wellington

[22:58] So this guy Tyler is like a real Joe Millionaire type.

[23:02] Just a real six pack.

Elliott Kalan

[23:04] Except he doesn't have a million.

[23:05] He's not a millionaire.

[23:06] That was the whole thing.

[23:06] That's the whole thing about Joe Millionaire.

[23:08] He doesn't have a million dollars.

[23:09] Oh, that's right.

[23:10] I forgot.

[23:10] That was the...

[23:11] I was thinking of, do you want to marry a millionaire?

[23:13] It turned out the guy had like $1.1 million.

Stuart Wellington

[23:16] No.

Elliott Kalan

[23:17] Joe Millionaire is the one where they trick ladies, right?

[23:19] Right.

Hallie Haglund

[23:20] But I think he only had like $1.1 million also.

Stuart Wellington

[23:23] Oh, okay.

[23:25] He's so poor!

[23:27] And similar to Joe Millionaire, Tyler is trying to trick one lady here because he is not looking

[23:33] to be a roommate.

[23:35] He is looking to steal her stuff.

[23:37] He has a game going on where he answers ads to be rich people's roommates and then he steals

[23:45] their stuff, which is the stupidest con because they'll just find him, right?

[23:50] It's not like...

[23:51] Yeah, it seems like there's a lot of...

[23:52] There would be some correspondence.

Elliott Kalan

[23:54] And yet when she finds him later, he acts like this has never happened before.

Stuart Wellington

[23:57] Yeah.

[23:57] He's like, I can't believe anyone saw through my rooms.

Dan McCoy

[24:00] Yeah.

[24:00] I do want to take a moment here as we are introduced to Ed Westwick's character who...

[24:05] Tyler.

[24:06] Yeah.

[24:07] Not the creator.

[24:08] Particularly in these early scenes, but throughout the movie, has been lit to give his eyes and

[24:13] mouth a weird pink-purple color.

[24:18] But I'm just saying like...

[24:19] I didn't notice that.

[24:20] I mean, maybe he's just...

[24:21] You didn't notice that?

[24:21] I didn't notice that.

[24:22] Go back and look at it.

[24:23] He has the weirdest lighting on his face.

Elliott Kalan

[24:25] Maybe I'm just addicted to...

[24:26] I just know that he has a spice addiction.

[24:28] Spice, of course, being in Dune, the drug that allows you to bend time, but it turns

[24:33] your eyes violet blue after a while.

[24:34] You become addicted to it.

Hallie Haglund

[24:36] That's...

[24:36] Taylor, right?

[24:37] She had violet eyes.

[24:39] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[24:39] And white diamonds.

[24:40] These have always brought me luck.

Dan McCoy

[24:41] I was sure that the only thing you guys would want to talk about was how weird the lighting

[24:47] on this guy's face.

[24:47] Did not notice.

[24:48] Anyway, I just want to say...

[24:50] I like his little beard.

[24:52] You ridiculed me for having seen this before, but the thing I wanted to say...

Elliott Kalan

[24:57] You're right.

[24:58] You're right.

[24:59] I mean, we would have noticed his weird face lighting.

[25:00] We could have talked about it for hours.

Stuart Wellington

[25:02] He's part of Payette Pre's warlock coven.

Dan McCoy

[25:06] I'm referring to the fact that when I saw it before, it came with a little bit of a pre-show

[25:12] that had been edited together by the screener of Me, You Madness, which was...

[25:16] I don't know whether it was from the electronic press kit for Me, You Madness.

[25:20] I assume.

[25:20] I don't think that there was a lot of actual interviews that happened for this movie.

[25:23] But it was the two of the leads being interviewed and Louise Linton talking so at length, so happily

[25:33] about her vision for this movie and what a great rapport she and Ed Westwick had.

[25:39] And Ed Westwick looking like he was in a hostage video, wondering how his career had gotten

[25:44] to this place, how soon he could get out of it, how few words he could say in this room.

Hallie Haglund

[25:50] Dan, are you saying that we should just find a recording of you doing that instead of listening

[25:55] to this podcast?

Dan McCoy

[25:57] What?

[25:58] Maybe.

[25:59] Doing what?

Hallie Haglund

[26:00] Wait, you said you saw it for like a...

[26:02] Never mind.

[26:03] Forget it.

Stuart Wellington

[26:04] So do you think...

[26:05] So you're saying you don't think they did a lot of press for this movie, in-person press,

[26:09] so like they never got interviewed by George Whipple or something?

[26:13] For Whipple's World?

[26:15] Yeah, for Whipple's World.

[26:16] The guy with the giant eyebrows who just had a baby for like two years ago, which is

[26:20] insane because he looks like a million years old.

Dan McCoy

[26:22] Yeah, but that baby's got huge eyebrows too.

[26:24] It all checks out.

[26:25] Yeah.

[26:25] A Whipple gossip podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[26:28] Hey, it looks like that's a baby and it's mine.

Elliott Kalan

[26:31] Welcome to the Whip House, the only place we talk about Whipple.

[26:34] Anyway, so Stuart, what happens after she meets Tyler?

[26:37] There's instant chemistry, right?

[26:39] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[26:39] So that...

[26:39] And we get a little bit of a cat and mouse because we know that she's got a scheme going

[26:43] on.

[26:45] We don't quite know what it is yet.

[26:46] And Tyler is also a thief.

[26:49] So they're like...

[26:51] Both of them are trying to play the other one, I guess.

[26:53] It's kind of weird.

[26:54] It's hard to read.

[26:55] She takes him on a tour of the home.

[26:57] She keeps trying to give him booze.

[26:59] She has a couple different costume changes.

Elliott Kalan

[27:01] She lifts an enormous barbell, like a cartoonishly large barbell.

Stuart Wellington

[27:05] It's hilarious.

[27:06] There's a lot of weird music.

[27:08] There's jokes about lifting weights.

[27:10] She's like clearly stalking him and the home...

[27:13] It's like a very long, slim home with windows all over it.

[27:18] Yeah.

[27:19] And a lot of neon.

Elliott Kalan

[27:20] A lot of neon, yeah.

[27:21] And a very small kitchen.

[27:23] Yeah.

[27:24] It's like a kitchen nook.

[27:27] And it's like...

[27:27] I guess it's for someone who does not cook.

[27:29] But yet she does cook.

Dan McCoy

[27:30] Yeah, she only has like half of a grapefruit and what's her breakfast?

Stuart Wellington

[27:34] And an egg.

[27:35] But then she eats human beings later.

[27:38] And she's such an excellent cook.

[27:40] And she goes on and on about it.

Elliott Kalan

[27:41] And she...

[27:41] It's not...

[27:42] I'm just going to tell you, there's not enough space in that kitchen to cook a human being.

[27:44] I know she butchers them in the garage, but it's just not enough space to do the work

[27:48] you need.

Hallie Haglund

[27:49] Well, and at one point she says that he ate perhaps a combination of five different people,

[27:55] which would mean she's juggling five different bodies in that kitchen.

[27:59] Yeah.

[27:59] It seems unrealistic.

Elliott Kalan

[28:00] I think we found the problem with the movie, guys.

Hallie Haglund

[28:02] It's like human gumbo or something.

[28:03] She was cooking up.

Elliott Kalan

[28:04] I mean, that's human gumbo.

[28:05] Don't knock it till you try it.

[28:06] I mean...

Dan McCoy

[28:07] That's just showing off her affluence, too, because I can't believe that those five different

[28:11] people tasted different enough that there's any point other than showing off.

Elliott Kalan

[28:16] Well, no.

[28:16] She fed one of them nothing but acorns and one of them nothing but pecorino cheese.

[28:21] It brings a slightly different flavor to the flesh.

Stuart Wellington

[28:24] I didn't know we were doing a Hannibal podcast all of a sudden.

Elliott Kalan

[28:28] Yeah.

[28:28] I mean, the movie kind of becomes...

[28:30] It goes from being like cut rate American Psycho to cut rate Hannibal at a certain point.

[28:34] Yeah.

[28:34] But...

[28:34] And she also...

[28:35] She's trying to mess with him now, and she tells him she can fly and then laughs at him

[28:39] like, I can't fly.

[28:41] And that was the point when I was watching the movie where I felt like a hostage, where

[28:44] it felt like when you were like...

[28:46] A friend takes you to another friend's house that you don't know that well, and those friends

[28:50] start getting high.

[28:51] And the friend who brought you was like, I just got to go use the bathroom and leaves.

[28:53] And suddenly it's 45 minutes later, and you don't know what's going on and why you're

[28:57] with these people.

[28:58] That's what this movie felt like to me.

[29:00] I apologize about that, Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[29:01] I just had to go to the bathroom for a long time.

Elliott Kalan

[29:04] I mean, that was...

[29:04] At a certain point, I was just worried about you.

[29:06] And then you came back, and you were all sweaty, and you were like, we got to go.

[29:08] I clogged it.

[29:09] And I was like, thank goodness.

Stuart Wellington

[29:11] Uh-huh.

[29:12] And I tried to pick some of it up and put it out the window, but I couldn't get the window

[29:17] all the way up, so I was just pushing it through a mail slot.

Elliott Kalan

[29:20] Do you think that was a scene that was originally written for Dumb and Dumber, and then Jeff Daniels

[29:25] was like, no, I am not doing that?

Dan McCoy

[29:28] Put as many fart noises underneath my violent diarrhea.

Stuart Wellington

[29:33] This movie has a lot of fart noises.

[29:35] So, let's see.

[29:37] So, she finally gets Tyler to have a drink with her.

[29:41] Of course, he gets drugged.

[29:43] He passes out.

[29:44] She has another costume change and leaves him on the couch, and then she gets her nails fixed,

[29:49] and she has a fun scene with her nail stylist.

[29:54] And then she does a comedic workout routine with a ton of sound effects.

[29:59] There's a lot of boings.

[30:00] Oh, wait.

Dan McCoy

[30:01] This is the scene where she's in this thong unitard,

[30:06] but there's a lot of weird sound effects added.

Elliott Kalan

[30:10] It's like, she was like, I ran out of money for the 80s pop hit, so I got to do the Anna

[30:14] Barbera sound effects CD.

Dan McCoy

[30:16] Well, I kind of felt like this was the humble brag of movie scenes, because it's clear that

[30:23] she wanted to show off, oh, I've got a good body, but I'm going to undercut it by putting

[30:28] a lot of fart noises underneath it or whatever.

Stuart Wellington

[30:31] I think they were like, this scene isn't playing for comedy like I thought it would.

[30:35] We need to juice it up, right?

[30:37] I mean, I'm the only one here who isn't a comedy writer, so maybe you guys can correct me.

Elliott Kalan

[30:41] Hallie, as a professional, if you had a scene that wasn't working, would you just throw a

[30:44] bunch of Hanna Barbera cartoon sound effects underneath?

Hallie Haglund

[30:46] Yeah, that sounds funny.

Elliott Kalan

[30:50] Like a squeaky door while she's doing her squats.

[30:52] Yeah, yeah, the like bongo running sounds of a Flintstone jumping up in the air and running

[30:57] away.

[30:57] Yeah, sure.

Hallie Haglund

[30:58] Wait, but then isn't the following scene when she's like, I really have to take a shit,

[31:02] and then she goes to take a shit, but then it cuts to her and she's like also masturbating?

Stuart Wellington

[31:07] Yeah.

[31:08] I think that might be.

[31:09] I was wondering if at first, at first I'm like, is she using her arm to like coax the

[31:14] shit out?

Elliott Kalan

[31:15] Again, something Jeff Daniels was asked to do in Dumb and Dumber and said, no, I'm not going

[31:19] to do that.

Stuart Wellington

[31:19] Which reminds me of back in high school, my friend Jim had us all convinced that there

[31:25] was a part of your taint that if you pushed on it, it would make you shit super fast.

[31:31] And we're like, I don't believe you.

[31:33] And he's like, I'll show you.

[31:34] And I'm like, that's not going to happen.

[31:36] And then one guy, Doug, was like, I tried it, dude, and it works.

[31:40] And I'm like, I don't believe you, though.

[31:42] Oh, man, the turbo shit button.

Elliott Kalan

[31:44] For months, you're just pressing every single point.

[31:46] And then you're like, maybe you have to be more exact when you're using chopped

[31:49] sticks to try to get like this, just the one pour.

Hallie Haglund

[31:52] And you're making little X's on all the spots you've covered.

[31:55] So you don't retrace your stuff.

[31:57] And I wasn't for the first week.

Elliott Kalan

[31:59] And then I'm like, I'm such a cool one.

[32:00] Quadrant 12, no luck.

[32:02] Yeah.

[32:03] And Pete Possilwaite sticks his head of the 12th and goes, he's trying different places.

[32:06] He's learning.

[32:07] Clever girl.

Stuart Wellington

[32:10] Okay.

[32:11] So, yeah.

[32:12] So she, at this point, she makes a casserole out of human flesh.

[32:18] And she wakes Tyler up to join her.

[32:20] Oh.

[32:22] She's, I wrote down, she was like, she's like bragging about how smart she is.

[32:28] And she says that she has an IQ of 173, which again, I'm like, you could, you could juice

[32:33] that up a little lady.

[32:34] Like, that's not like crazy high.

[32:36] It could go over like 200.

Dan McCoy

[32:38] Oh, I don't know.

[32:38] I mean, like what, like 125 or above is genius, I feel like.

Elliott Kalan

[32:43] I mean, I feel like if you're already putting cartoon sound effects on your workout, just

[32:46] say you've got an IQ of 350.

[32:47] Like, go for it.

[32:48] That's what I'm saying.

[32:48] Go for it.

Stuart Wellington

[32:49] Yeah.

[32:49] It's already so goofy.

[32:51] Not 125.

[32:52] Anyway.

[32:52] And it's around now when, you know.

[32:53] Dan has an IQ of 125.

Dan McCoy

[32:56] They told me I was a genius.

[32:58] Tyler?

Stuart Wellington

[32:59] Tyler obviously is weirded out because he knows he's been drugged.

[33:03] He wants to get the fuck out of there.

[33:06] And then, of course, her, Catherine's friend, lover, accomplice character arrives and they

[33:13] convince Tyler to stay by, I don't know, like implying there's a threesome that's going

[33:19] to happen.

[33:19] I mean, it's implying it.

[33:21] It's almost stated outright.

[33:24] Yeah.

[33:25] And I miss this new character's name.

[33:29] She's Yu Yan is her name.

[33:31] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[33:31] And she speaks mostly in Chinese.

[33:34] It's exclusively Mandarin, right?

[33:36] In Mandarin.

[33:37] And Louise Linton speaks back to her in, or whatever the character's name is, Catherine,

[33:40] in Mandarin.

[33:41] Catherine Black, yep.

[33:42] And they just are talking openly in Mandarin about how they're going to eat this guy.

[33:46] And he's like, hey, hey, well, you know, da, da, da, da.

[33:49] Like, it goes on for a while.

Dan McCoy

[33:51] Mandarin, huh?

[33:52] Well.

Elliott Kalan

[33:52] This is after the weird non sequitur bit about how he fix a child's bike that happens

[33:58] to be in her kitchen, right?

[33:59] And I don't know why it's there.

Dan McCoy

[34:00] Well, that was the first indicator.

[34:02] It's her nephew.

[34:02] Elliot.

[34:03] That she sees that there's some value in this man.

Elliott Kalan

[34:06] Yeah, demonstration of value, dude.

[34:08] No, but why does she have a child's bike?

[34:10] It's her nephews.

[34:11] She doesn't really have nephews, though, right?

[34:12] Yes, she does, I think.

Stuart Wellington

[34:15] Like, anyway, it's just a weird.

[34:16] Wait, do you think the sister character is completely made up?

Hallie Haglund

[34:19] No, I think it's real.

[34:20] I think it's real because I thought she was made up, maybe.

[34:24] But then there's the bike.

[34:26] And then also, it's in the same breath as she's talking about her granny,

[34:31] who we later learn is not made up.

[34:33] So I feel like it's all real.

Elliott Kalan

[34:35] Okay, maybe.

[34:35] When she talks about family, all I know is he refers to the bike's pedals

[34:37] as going anti-clockwise, which is not a thing that I've ever heard anyone say.

Stuart Wellington

[34:42] Yes, at that point, I'm like, did they make this movie in Canada?

[34:44] What's going on?

[34:46] Yeah, so, I mean, I think that's kind of interesting

[34:48] because her character, for a person who is, like, super rich and murders people,

[34:52] she's not, like, a good liar, right?

[34:54] Like, she's pretty open about everything.

[34:58] Yeah.

[34:59] So that's why I just assumed that the story about her sister was true.

[35:02] Okay.

[35:03] So they have a lovely dinner of human meat,

[35:07] and it's here where we get another bit of...

Hallie Haglund

[35:10] Which they eat with chopsticks, right?

[35:13] That was weird.

Stuart Wellington

[35:13] I think so.

[35:15] It's just the preparation style, I guess.

[35:16] Okay.

[35:17] Yeah.

[35:19] It was very pale meat.

Hallie Haglund

[35:20] It looked like tofu.

[35:23] Sorry, go ahead.

Stuart Wellington

[35:24] I mean, I haven't eaten human testicles.

[35:27] Maybe when prepared a certain way, they look like tofu.

Elliott Kalan

[35:29] I mean, I've got to assume they were not eating real human meat on camera,

[35:32] so I think probably whatever meat they were doing was pale.

[35:35] I don't know.

[35:35] It was maybe chicken or something.

[35:36] As much money as they have, you'd think they'd go the extra mile.

[35:39] That's fair.

[35:40] That's fair.

[35:40] They could have done it.

[35:42] And he gives her some solid investment advice, right?

[35:45] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[35:45] And we find out that he's a gamer.

[35:49] Which really turns her on for some reason.

Dan McCoy

[35:52] Well, this scene makes me mad because, like, Louise Lynn's character is impressed.

[36:00] Like, one of her lackeys calls is like, oh, this stock of ours is dropping.

[36:05] What should I do with it?

[36:06] And she wants to sell.

[36:07] And he explains, like, no, no, no.

[36:09] You should hang on to that one for a while.

[36:11] And his brilliant analysis is, like, that a big game that's going to be good is coming out soon.

[36:18] And it's like, if this was a big enough investment that she's getting a call about it at dinner,

[36:24] they will know enough to be like, oh, what's the game release schedule?

[36:29] Is a good game going to come out?

[36:31] Like, this is not a fucking genius stock tip that he comes out with.

[36:35] Hey, look.

Stuart Wellington

[36:35] Yeah, he's just a subscriber to GamePro magazine.

Elliott Kalan

[36:38] Yeah, he's a subscriber to GamePro, so he gets that extra page that they put in that gives you all the extra information.

Stuart Wellington

[36:44] Yeah.

[36:44] Uh-huh.

[36:44] And it sometimes comes with a CD-ROM for you to play demos of your favorite PS1 games.

[36:51] That sounds like a good deal.

[36:52] So, of course, at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[36:53] Dan, have you thought about subscribing to GamePro?

[36:55] Because I'd love to hook you up.

[36:56] Hey, they call me GamePro Galen.

[36:58] And I dabble in selling GamePro subscriptions.

[37:01] Hallie, Stu, Dan, are you ready to take your gaming to the pro level with GamePro magazine?

[37:07] Yeah.

[37:08] Yeah.

[37:09] Well, Hallie is ready.

[37:10] Yeah, Hallie and I are ready.

Stuart Wellington

[37:11] I think Dan's the holdout over here.

Elliott Kalan

[37:14] Yeah, Dan, what's the matter?

[37:15] Don't you see what your friends are already taking their gaming to the pro level?

Stuart Wellington

[37:18] He seems comfortable at the amateur level for some reason.

Elliott Kalan

[37:21] If you want to stay with GameAm, not a magazine, just a pitiful way of life, sure.

[37:26] But if you're ready to level up to GamePro, give me a call.

Dan McCoy

[37:30] Okay, I'll keep it in mind.

[37:31] Thanks.

Elliott Kalan

[37:33] I think it's very funny that there was a GamePro magazine back when you could not be a professional video game player.

[37:38] But now you can.

[37:39] And I don't have that magazine still around.

Stuart Wellington

[37:41] And print magazines are having a rough time.

Hallie Haglund

[37:43] Maybe only the people who are real professionals get it.

[37:47] Maybe it's like a private subscription.

Elliott Kalan

[37:49] It's like the Cook Report or one of those things where you have to subscribe to a newsletter.

[37:53] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[37:54] Wait, you can get the Cook Report, can't you?

[37:56] Yeah, if you subscribe to it.

[37:57] But now I'm saying maybe it's like a...

Elliott Kalan

[37:59] Like a secret one.

[38:00] Yeah, exactly.

[38:01] Oh, okay.

[38:03] Yeah, it's like Raya.

[38:05] You have to apply for it.

[38:06] Dan, don't you want to be cool and get a secret magazine?

[38:08] It's called GamePro.

Dan McCoy

[38:11] Is it about video games?

[38:13] Because I kind of usually buy one and then sort of am interested in it for a couple of days.

[38:18] I keep thinking like, oh, this is the one that got me back into gaming.

[38:21] But I'm like, oh, I forget that I own it and I stop playing and I don't care.

Stuart Wellington

[38:25] And you're just stuck with this gamer chair and all the game fuel that you bought.

Elliott Kalan

[38:31] And you've already taken out the billboards advertising your Twitch live streams.

[38:35] So you just got to sit there in the chair and be like, what was I doing this?

Dan McCoy

[38:38] Any articles about Bubble Bobble?

Elliott Kalan

[38:41] You are in luck, my friend, because I will go write some right now and print them out on regular printer paper and just stick them into your copy of the magazine.

Stuart Wellington

[38:50] What a commitment.

[38:52] So at this point, they all do Molly and they dance around in swimsuits and fur coats.

[38:58] Tyler throws Catherine in the pool, which I assumed, based on everything else about her character, she would be very annoyed by.

[39:05] But she rolls with it.

[39:08] At this point, this is when I start realizing that I don't think we're going to get other locations in this movie.

[39:13] We're like 40 minutes in.

Elliott Kalan

[39:15] At one point, you see Tyler in his car somewhere, just sitting there parked.

[39:19] Eating tacos.

[39:20] Yeah.

[39:20] Oh, and Los Feliz.

[39:21] But he did not look like Los Feliz, though.

[39:22] No.

Hallie Haglund

[39:23] He's a very messy eater, too.

Elliott Kalan

[39:25] Oh, for sure.

[39:26] Well, you know, because he's a slob to her snob.

[39:29] Yeah, it's the yin and yang that way.

[39:31] Opposites attract, MC Scat Cat.

[39:32] You know what I'm talking about.

[39:33] Beauty and the Beast.

[39:34] Yeah, Beauty and the Beast.

[39:35] Otherwise, it's Paula Abdul and MC Scat Cat.

[39:38] Have you guys – so the original video for Opposites attract, MC Scat Cat, he kidnapped Paula Abdul, and then she fell in love with him anyway.

[39:44] Very problematic.

[39:46] But it's the Beauty and the Beast story.

[39:47] Tale as old as time, you know.

[39:48] Song as old as rhyme.

[39:49] That song being Opposites attract.

[39:51] Anyway, Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[39:54] So it's around here where we get a fairly chaste, straightforward sex scene.

[40:01] There's a lot of, like, kissing and, like – I can only imagine, like, some super vanilla missionary stuff.

[40:08] What are you laughing about?

Dan McCoy

[40:09] I just love that you're, like – the way it was being described.

[40:11] You get a chaste sex scene, a lot of kissing, you know, your usual.

Stuart Wellington

[40:16] Yeah, I mean, but – I mean, this is a movie that's kind – it's been kind of wacky.

[40:20] It's been a little silly.

[40:22] And it also is about, like, a super intense murderess.

[40:26] You would assume that it would have been, like – I don't know.

[40:29] I just assumed if she specifically said that, like, one of her addictions is sex, I would imagine this would have been, like, more than just, you know, like a PG.

[40:38] Not kinky enough, Stuart's.

Elliott Kalan

[40:40] Yeah.

[40:41] I think this is where the intention of the movie, which is to be real, like, transgressive and shocking and challenging meets – the rubber hits the road of what Louise Linton actually wants to do with this actor as the creator of the movie.

[40:57] And since she is the director and writer, she can't be – blue is the warmest colored into having a more extreme scene than she would actually be comfortable with.

[41:06] So instead I imagine there were a lot of ground rules about what Westwick could and could not do in this scene.

[41:11] And that's what happened.

[41:12] Or otherwise the character is a sex addict, but she's addicted to vanilla sex, a real vanilla-holic.

[41:17] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[41:17] I mean, yeah.

[41:18] You could be an alcoholic, but you only drink, like, Miller Lite or whatever.

[41:22] You know, it's a quantity, not the quality.

Dan McCoy

[41:25] Yeah.

[41:30] That's a lot of bulk you're putting on now.

[41:31] But I'm not sure in which direction, like, or against.

Elliott Kalan

[41:35] But it's one of these things where the – it is the one part of the movie where it feels like a woman taking control of a film, you know, which is weird since so much of the rest of the film is the movie kind of, like, ogling her body.

[41:48] But I guess it's on her terms.

[41:50] So I guess if there's anything positive about this movie, it's a woman presenting her body on her terms rather than on the male gaze terms.

[41:56] But otherwise she's a terrible person and it's a bad movie.

[41:58] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[41:58] Slap it on the poster.

Elliott Kalan

[42:00] Quote Elliot Kalin of the Flophouse Raves.

[42:02] If there's anything good about this movie, it's a woman taking control of her own body on film, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[42:07] So – and this is a clear turn in their relationship because before it was fairly – they were, like, kind of fighting and it was a little bit of cat and mouse.

[42:17] And she was clearly, like, stalking him to what end.

[42:20] We don't quite know yet.

[42:22] To kill and eat him probably.

[42:23] Yeah.

[42:23] But, yeah, but at this point she – like, they have a very emotional connection in the morning.

[42:31] They seem to actually be, like, a couple at this point.

[42:34] And then they manage to get – she leaves him in the home and goes to the gym where she murders a rude guy.

[42:44] In, like, I think, like, the only murder in the movie, which I'm like, I could have used more murders, right?

Elliott Kalan

[42:51] Yeah.

[42:51] I mean, a movie with madness in the title, you kind of assume there's going to be more murder unless it's marble madness, in which case you expect more marbles.

Dan McCoy

[42:59] But during that scene, though, that's when he's dancing around, right?

[43:03] Yes.

[43:03] That's when Twinkle Toes, yeah.

[43:05] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[43:05] He gets his big satin robe dance off.

[43:07] Hallie.

[43:07] I loved that.

[43:08] Tell us.

[43:08] This is something for the ladies, right?

Hallie Haglund

[43:10] I loved that.

[43:11] It was very fun to see him dance, don't you think?

[43:14] In his little robe and his work boots?

[43:16] He had, like, Doc Martin boots, yeah.

[43:18] Yeah.

[43:20] I don't know.

[43:21] I had nothing more except it was just fun, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[43:24] It explains how, like, later on he clearly falls for her.

[43:28] Right?

[43:29] Yeah.

[43:30] That's what we're here for.

[43:32] Fun.

[43:32] Okay.

[43:33] Like, he falls for her later, and it's clearly because he has so much fun dancing around in her house, right?

[43:39] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[43:40] I can sense that while I was gone, you had a great time dancing.

Stuart Wellington

[43:45] But when she comes back, she's covered in blood, and they have a big fight because he's being supportive and clingy, and she's a murderer who needs space.

Elliott Kalan

[43:54] And she's like, if he's around me, I'm going to eventually murder him, and I love him now, so I don't want to murder him anymore, so I want him to leave.

[44:01] It's some complicated dynamics going on in Mew Madness.

[44:04] Yeah.

[44:05] It's a tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme.

[44:08] Lady and the victim.

[44:09] Tramp.

[44:10] Yep.

[44:10] So she, uh, so she.

[44:11] Lady and the tramp.

[44:12] Song as old as spaghetti.

Dan McCoy

[44:17] They call it Bella Naughty.

Elliott Kalan

[44:20] No one remembers any of the other scenes.

[44:24] Lady and the tramp.

Hallie Haglund

[44:27] There was a little Scotty dog that they thought was an Ottoman, right?

[44:30] Oh, no, maybe I'm thinking of, uh, Beauty and the Beast now.

Dan McCoy

[44:34] Uh, there is an Ottoman that's a dog.

[44:35] There's an Ottoman, yeah, but there's also a Scotty dog in Lady and the Tramp.

[44:39] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[44:40] You've combined them into.

[44:41] There's the racist scene at the end.

[44:42] Yeah, the Siamese.

[44:43] Yeah, the Siamese cats, yeah.

[44:44] So you've combined them into a movie called Beauty and the Beast and Lady and the Tramp, which is, I guess, is about swinging?

Stuart Wellington

[44:50] I mean, the fucking Italian chef at the restaurant's happy.

[44:55] Okay, so, uh, she has a sad shower montage, uh, where she's, uh, you know, you know, she's getting, uh, she's getting all the blood off her.

[45:07] Uh, I think this is when Ellie gets to see her butt.

[45:10] But not her boobs.

Hallie Haglund

[45:11] You think, you keep thinking you're gonna see her boobs and then you don't see her boobs.

Stuart Wellington

[45:15] Because a secretary of the treasury's wife has to have some limits, Sally.

[45:18] Yeah.

[45:20] So, and while she's doing that, Tyler steals her car and a bunch of her jewelry and drives away.

[45:26] Uh, and he tells his friend, he's like, I got all this stuff, uh, let's sell it all.

[45:31] Um, then she, uh, realizes that he's robbed her.

[45:36] Um, she starts wearing t-shirts and jeans instead of crazy, uh, dresses.

[45:41] Uh, she realizes that she's kind of falling for him and has kind of knocked off her game.

[45:46] So she's gonna try and track him down and crush him and kill him.

[45:49] Uh, so she, what, finds his phone.

[45:51] How does she track him down?

[45:52] Uh, her car.

Dan McCoy

[45:52] No, she left a dead body in the car he stole.

Elliott Kalan

[45:56] That's why she had to track him down.

[45:58] That makes sense.

[45:59] I forgot about that too.

[46:01] And yeah, she, and she tracks down his phone and she calls him and is like, bring my car back.

[46:05] I, I've already hacked and figured out all the other addresses you've, you've stolen things from.

[46:10] And I'm going to call the NYPD, which I thought was kind of crazy because they're in Los Angeles.

[46:13] It's totally out of the NYPD's jurisdiction.

[46:15] They call her on that, right?

Hallie Haglund

[46:16] That was really funny.

[46:18] I thought that was genuinely funny.

[46:20] And she was like, I'm calling the NYPD.

[46:22] And they were just like, you mean the LAPD, right?

[46:27] And I was, I had been looking at my phone at this point and I was like, wait, that's such a weird joke.

[46:33] That has nothing to do with anything.

Dan McCoy

[46:35] I gotta say, there's a, there's a, there's a joke coming up pretty soon that I laughed fairly hard at genuinely.

[46:42] So we'll get to that as well.

Stuart Wellington

[46:44] So, uh, she basically, yeah, she basically blackmails him into giving back her car.

[46:50] Uh, so he, she, and then she has a montage trying to decide how she's going to murder him.

[46:56] She talks about a bunch of different movies.

[46:59] She talks about a bunch of different, uh, weapons.

Elliott Kalan

[47:01] She's trying to sing.

[47:02] She wants a weapon that hasn't been in a movie before.

[47:04] And so she's picking up weapons and saying what movies they're in.

[47:06] And one of them she says is James Bond, which is not a movie.

Dan McCoy

[47:10] Well, also one of the weapons she picks up is just a gun.

[47:13] So she lists off a bunch of movies that guns a fan.

Stuart Wellington

[47:21] And, and the, what I like is that a lot of the movies that she lists are like pretty current.

[47:26] Like they're not all classics.

[47:27] So it feels like it's like me, dumb movie goer who's doing the movie quiz.

[47:31] And all the answers are the movies that are currently playing at the movie theater.

[47:35] I'm like, thanks.

[47:36] I'm glad I don't, I don't need a fucking Criterion Channel subscription here to, to be able to participate in the.

[47:42] Finally.

[47:43] Finally.

[47:44] A movie for me.

Hallie Haglund

[47:44] I should not list a gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[47:48] No.

[47:48] It's true.

[47:48] Admitted.

Dan McCoy

[47:49] We've forgotten classic.

[47:52] Is Tim Daly in that one?

Stuart Wellington

[47:55] It's Penelope.

[47:56] What's her name?

Dan McCoy

[47:56] Penelope Ann Miller's the main one.

[47:58] Yeah.

[47:59] But maybe I'm, I'm thinking.

[48:00] From kindergarten.

[48:00] I'm thinking of Year of the Comet because she was in that with Tim Daly, but I don't think she was in the other one.

Elliott Kalan

[48:05] I don't think anyone in the Year of the Comet has a gun in their handbag.

[48:08] No.

[48:09] No.

[48:10] There's a gun.

Stuart Wellington

[48:11] No, you're thinking of inner space where a woman has a gun in her handbag.

Elliott Kalan

[48:14] Yes.

[48:15] No, I was thinking of outer space where the planets are.

Stuart Wellington

[48:18] That makes sense.

[48:20] So she, he returns back to the home.

[48:24] I think it won't, like before he even goes inside, he has a fantasy of them hooking up again.

[48:29] Hey guys, sorry.

[48:30] Hold up.

Dan McCoy

[48:31] Hold up.

[48:32] Just, just.

[48:32] Breaking news.

[48:33] Okay.

[48:34] Dan has a me, you madness scoop.

[48:35] Oh, he's checking his phone.

[48:36] No, after Penelope Ann Miller.

Elliott Kalan

[48:37] You heard it here first, folks.

[48:39] It's a breaking piece of news about the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[48:45] We interrupt this previously scheduled episode of the Flophouse to bring you this, this Betty Lou handbag gun bulletin.

[48:51] We go now to Dan McCoy live in his apartment.

[48:53] Dan?

Dan McCoy

[48:54] Guys, you'll never believe what I found out.

[48:57] After Penelope Ann Miller and Eric Tai, who are the leads of the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[49:03] Who do you think are the next two top billed people in this movie?

Hallie Haglund

[49:07] Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Dan McCoy

[49:09] That's a good guess.

[49:10] Timothy Chalamet?

[49:12] Not such a good guess.

[49:13] He wasn't really operative during this year.

Stuart Wellington

[49:15] I'm going to say Dick Miller.

[49:17] No.

[49:18] Greta Garbo?

[49:19] Wait, wait.

Hallie Haglund

[49:19] Let's keep guessing.

[49:20] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[49:20] Let's keep guessing.

[49:21] We'll figure it out.

Hallie Haglund

[49:23] Elizabeth Shue.

[49:25] That's a good guess.

Elliott Kalan

[49:26] Billy Barty?

Hallie Haglund

[49:28] Andrew McCarthy.

[49:29] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[49:31] Third and fourth billed in this movie, Alfred Woodard and Julian Moore are the, like, what fucking star power in the gun in Betty Lou's handbag?

Elliott Kalan

[49:42] That's how movies work.

[49:43] Oftentimes, before people are famous, they're in other movies, too.

[49:46] I know, but that is a lot more acting power than I thought I was going to find.

[49:53] It's not all Audrey Hepburn going straight to the top with Roman Holiday.

[49:56] Often people don't debut as the stars of movies.

[49:58] Oh, it's true.

[49:59] Anyway, a nation reels as this information hits us, this new development in the story of Betty Lou's handbag's gun.

Stuart Wellington

[50:06] Be with your families tonight.

Elliott Kalan

[50:08] We'll return with more updates as events warrant.

[50:11] We now return to the previously scheduled episode of The Flophouse, Me, You, Madness.

Stuart Wellington

[50:17] So Tyler shows up to her home.

[50:20] It's dark.

[50:21] He takes a knife to defend himself.

[50:24] He runs into Catherine, who is wearing a gold facial mask because she thought she had more time to have a facial.

[50:34] But he managed to get there because traffic wasn't as bad as he expected.

[50:39] As somebody who doesn't live in L.A., I don't know what that's like.

[50:42] And then they have a little bit of a jokey conversation about how he is wearing the jewelry he stole and how it actually looks pretty good on him.

[50:51] And, you know.

Dan McCoy

[50:52] Honestly, this scene is the part that I was talking about before that genuinely made me laugh.

[50:57] I thought it was funny when she had all this in her mind based on the ways estimate.

[51:03] And then he's like, oh, well, there was an accident that cleared up pretty fast.

[51:08] And so he surprised her while she has her facial mask on.

[51:12] And then they had a dumb end to the scene that I didn't like.

Elliott Kalan

[51:15] Is this the one where they say they're the cutest and they just keep saying that?

[51:18] That was terrible.

[51:19] No.

Elliott Kalan

[51:19] That's the worst.

[51:20] That was the worst.

[51:20] Oh, that's later.

Hallie Haglund

[51:21] This is when her face mask falls off like a piece of baloney.

[51:24] That was when I really laughed.

Dan McCoy

[51:26] Spoken like a woman who said baloney on her face at some point.

[51:29] It's soft.

[51:29] But then they acted like it was really embarrassing and I didn't think it was funny anymore.

[51:33] Yeah.

[51:33] No.

Stuart Wellington

[51:34] They were like making a comment about how it's not a good look.

[51:36] And I'm like, no, she looks like a superhero kind of.

[51:39] Like she looks, it looks like a little domino mask now.

[51:41] Guys, I have another gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

Elliott Kalan

[51:44] Oh, wait, wait.

[51:44] We interrupt.

[51:48] We once again break into this episode of the Fluff House for another update in the ongoing story of the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[51:54] Turning now to our Betty Lou handbag correspondent, Dan McCoy, who brings us this further development of the story.

[52:01] Dan?

Dan McCoy

[52:01] Hey, guys.

[52:02] You know who else is in this movie?

[52:05] Not only is Meatloaf in it, but Catherine Keener is in the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[52:12] More top shelf acting talent.

Elliott Kalan

[52:15] In this film.

[52:16] You heard it here.

[52:17] First, day two in Betty Lou's gunbag handbag gate.

[52:23] Dan McCoy will bring us, I'm sure, more developments as we get through the story of this movie from what year, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[52:31] That movie would be from 1992.

Elliott Kalan

[52:34] A lot of moving developments in the story of this 29-year-old movie.

[52:39] We'll be back with more probably later in the broadcast.

[52:41] We'll have to tell our affiliates that we're going late tonight with this episode of the Fluff House in case there are any interruptions.

[52:45] Wait, wait, hold on.

[52:46] Before you get back.

[52:47] I'm getting further word that Dan McCoy has some new developments.

[52:50] Dan, bring it to us.

Dan McCoy

[52:52] Famous musical producer Adam Shankman is also in the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

Elliott Kalan

[52:59] And it seems like we're reaching real diminishing returns with the story of the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[53:03] Well, hold on.

[53:04] Wait, hold on.

[53:04] Frank Welker does a voice?

Dan McCoy

[53:07] How about that?

Elliott Kalan

[53:08] Wait, he does a voice?

[53:09] He does a voice in every movie.

[53:10] It would be more impressive if Frank Welker did not appear in the film.

[53:13] He's got a huge filmography.

[53:15] There's one person on Twitter who continues to ask me about Frank Welker, and I'm not sure why.

Hallie Haglund

[53:20] Why does he just do a voice?

[53:21] Is there like a puppet part of that movie?

Dan McCoy

[53:24] I mean, he's known as a voice actor.

Elliott Kalan

[53:27] He might have done an animal sound effect.

[53:29] He does a lot of animal sounds.

[53:30] Is he the gun?

[53:31] He might have done the gun sounds.

Dan McCoy

[53:32] Scarlet's vocal is what he's credited as.

[53:34] Scarlet's vocal.

Elliott Kalan

[53:35] Well, I mean, he does a lot of ADR.

Dan McCoy

[53:37] Yeah.

[53:38] But, well.

[53:39] If I knew Frank, you know, if I know Frank Welker, known for doing a lot of animal sounds,

[53:44] Scarlet's vocal, I would hazard a guess that perhaps the joke is that someone's singing voice sounds like an animal of some kind.

[53:52] Or perhaps Scarlet is a dog.

Elliott Kalan

[53:55] Yes.

[53:55] Or an animal of some kind.

[53:56] Yes.

Hallie Haglund

[53:56] I guess we'll just have to watch the movie to find out.

Elliott Kalan

[53:59] So stay tuned, folks.

[54:01] We'll be back later in the show as we watch all of the Gun and Betty Lou's handbag live on the air.

[54:06] It's the only way to get to the story.

[54:07] Stick with us.

[54:08] We're the only network covering this ongoing story of the 1992 cult's favorite.

[54:14] I don't know how you'd describe it exactly.

[54:16] Sleep or hit doesn't quite.

[54:17] It seems a bit much.

[54:19] The Gun and Betty Lou's handbag.

Dan McCoy

[54:20] I remember enjoying it on VHS at the time, but I don't think it was popular at all.

Elliott Kalan

[54:25] Dan McCoy raves.

[54:26] Enjoyed it on VHS at the time.

Stuart Wellington

[54:30] That's on the poster.

Elliott Kalan

[54:32] So join us for day three later on of the continuing story of the Gun and Betty Lou's handbag.

[54:37] We now return to the Flophouse already in progress.

Stuart Wellington

[54:41] Okay.

[54:41] So she reneges on her deal and she is not going to give him, she's not going to give him the, or delete the information about his, his past crimes.

[54:54] Because he finds the bodies.

[54:57] Oh, has he already found the, does he find the bodies at this point?

[55:00] Yeah, did he find the freezer case at that point?

Hallie Haglund

[55:02] I thought she said that that's why she took it, that's why she said she was going to kill him.

[55:06] Because she wasn't actually going to kill him, but then he saw the bodies.

Stuart Wellington

[55:09] I don't know, I feel like she's like struggling with whether or not she wants to kill him or not.

[55:13] And she stabs him with a broken martini glass and then selects a knife to murder him.

[55:16] Then they have this like wine and white sofa standoff scene where he's going to, he keeps threatening to pour wine on her white sofa.

Dan McCoy

[55:24] Well, and they, the whole joke of it is just them arguing whether it's a sofa or a couch.

[55:28] Which, you know, I gotta say, I was not aware that that was a distinction.

[55:32] In America, it's not used as a distinction, but there is a distinction.

[55:36] A sofa has arms, so.

[55:39] Oh.

[55:40] And a couch has tentacles.

Stuart Wellington

[55:42] Yeah.

[55:44] Couch has legs.

[55:45] That's why a couch has legs.

Hallie Haglund

[55:48] It has legs that go all the way up to the place where you sit.

Elliott Kalan

[55:55] That's Hallie's new character of the vaguely creepy furniture salesman.

[56:00] You should do that in your SNL audition.

[56:02] Okay, okay.

[56:03] Here's another thing you could put your butt on.

[56:06] A chair.

Stuart Wellington

[56:09] So, she stalks him around the house with a curling iron.

[56:12] They, she beats him up a bunch.

[56:15] I think this is when he finds the dead bodies, right?

[56:18] Mm-hmm.

[56:19] In her basement.

Hallie Haglund

[56:20] There's that nunchuck scene where there's a really bad body double.

[56:25] So, because they're only filming below her neck, but wearing this expensive dress.

Stuart Wellington

[56:31] Yeah.

[56:31] Like, I feel like you could see the Ninja Turtle costume underneath the dress.

[56:38] As she's playing with nunchucks.

Elliott Kalan

[56:40] So, you're saying, wait, so it was, they hired a Ninja Turtle as her body double?

Stuart Wellington

[56:44] Michelangelo, the Ninja Turtle with nunchucks.

[56:45] Oh, the party one.

Elliott Kalan

[56:46] The only way to do it was to dress up as Michelangelo to get in the character of someone who uses nunchucks.

Stuart Wellington

[56:51] I mean, I think either one, I'm not, I'm not sure.

[56:53] They don't show above the shoulders.

[56:55] So, there's a chance that it could just be a guy in a Michelangelo costume.

[56:58] It could be Michelangelo, the actual Ninja Turtle.

[57:00] It's always possible.

[57:02] You can't rule it out.

[57:03] You can't prove a, prove something's negative in this case.

Elliott Kalan

[57:06] You can't.

[57:06] There's no way to prove it.

[57:07] They can't just prove something.

Stuart Wellington

[57:09] So, she, and she starts, so, he finds her, like, her freezer full of dead bodies.

[57:14] And this is where she goes on this justification for all the people she's killed.

[57:18] And she's listing all, they, they list, like, what, two dozen, maybe three dozen different parts of different bodies.

[57:27] And she's explaining the crimes of each of the people she's killed.

[57:30] She's like, like Dexter, right?

[57:32] She's a killer killing other killers.

[57:33] Yep, yep, Dexter's Laboratory.

Dan McCoy

[57:35] There are many scenes in this where I'm like, okay, you're, you're close to doing it.

Stuart Wellington

[57:41] You know, where I'm like, okay, I get it.

[57:43] It's kind of there.

Dan McCoy

[57:45] Like, because, like, for a long time, she just, like, rapid fire, it's rapid fire editing.

[57:50] She's explaining why she killed various people.

[57:54] And it's kind of funny, I would say.

[57:57] Or in a better movie, maybe I would find it funny.

[57:59] But then she gets to a point.

Elliott Kalan

[58:00] It has the structure and form of jokes.

[58:02] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[58:02] Yes, but then she gets to a point.

[58:04] There was something, there was something that happened in the middle of it.

[58:06] What was it?

[58:07] It turns into a PSA about.

[58:08] That ruined it.

Elliott Kalan

[58:09] That turns into a PSA about not leaving a dog in a hot car.

[58:12] That part.

Hallie Haglund

[58:12] That was, that.

[58:14] But also there was something else where he, like, made a funny noise or something.

Dan McCoy

[58:17] Well, there, I don't know.

[58:19] I don't know about that.

[58:19] But I was going to say that the place where it, like, falls apart.

[58:21] Like, I think that the PSA is good.

[58:24] I think the repeating things is okay.

[58:26] Like, but then there's also a point where she's just like, that one was a Republican.

[58:31] Like, crickets sound.

[58:33] And then this one was a Democrat.

[58:34] This, like, it veers off the idea of, like, actual justifications to, like, her sort of

[58:41] winking at the audience.

[58:42] Like, remember, Steve Mnuchin's my husband.

[58:45] Mm-hmm.

[58:45] Wink, wink.

Elliott Kalan

[58:46] Yeah.

[58:47] It's a, but, and that leads me to something I wanted to say before.

[58:50] Do you guys think Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory grew up to be Dexter, the serial killer from

[58:53] Dexter?

[58:54] Because they both have sisters.

[58:55] 100%.

[58:55] Yeah.

[58:55] You think so?

[58:56] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[58:56] Yep.

[58:57] That same casual disregard for human life.

[59:00] Yeah.

[59:01] And he had, it's like a Flowers for Algernon thing where he got dumber.

[59:04] So he lost his ability to make cool inventions.

[59:07] I get it.

Elliott Kalan

[59:08] And he gained a dark passenger.

[59:09] Okay.

[59:09] So, yeah, I think that was, when she says, that was her, she, he was a Republican.

[59:14] It's like, yeah.

[59:15] It's like, you don't, wait a minute.

[59:17] I'm not, it's one of those things where I'm like, I'm trying to figure out what the, what

[59:19] the purpose is of that moment.

[59:21] Like, because she is married to a Republican.

[59:25] Like, it's, and you know that.

[59:27] And it's, I don't know.

[59:28] I don't get the job.

Stuart Wellington

[59:29] And it's around now.

[59:30] She's, so she's chasing him around her house.

[59:32] And she also, he like drops his cell phone and she opens it up.

[59:35] I guess he doesn't password protect his phone, which is stupid.

[59:39] I mean, it comes automatic at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[59:41] Like, I don't know if there is a phone you can just open up and it goes straight to your,

[59:44] your text messages.

Stuart Wellington

[59:46] Yeah.

[59:46] Where he has, he has messages and, and like thought picks from some lady that he's been

[59:51] texting with.

[59:53] And that does not, uh, that does not make Catherine happy.

[59:57] Although she was already trying to kill him.

[59:58] I think this has given her additional fuel that he.

[1:00:01] Well, also, also the fact that they just met the day before.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:03] Yeah.

[1:00:04] Like she can't really, she can't really get mad about messages he received before the,

[1:00:07] before yesterday.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:08] But you can't explain, like, you can't logically explain jealousy, Elliot.

[1:00:11] It just happens.

[1:00:12] Yeah, the chambers of the human heart.

[1:00:13] It's true.

[1:00:14] The heart wants what it wants.

[1:00:15] Yeah.

[1:00:16] So they get, they get in a fight in the living room again.

[1:00:18] Uh, and in the fight, she manages, uh, a pretty impressive maneuver where she manages to fart

[1:00:25] directly in his face.

[1:00:26] Uh, wasn't expecting it to happen.

[1:00:28] No, he's going to have to wonder if it's what it was.

[1:00:30] It's the fucking Primal Rage shit.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:33] You think she picked it up from Primal Rage?

[1:00:35] She just loved that game so much?

[1:00:36] Yes.

[1:00:37] She obviously loves gamers.

[1:00:39] Yeah.

[1:00:39] Or is it something that just happened in the filming and she said, no, leave it in.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:45] Steve says, leave it in.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:47] Okay.

[1:00:48] So, uh, then we find out that, uh, they continue to talk.

[1:00:53] We find out that Tyler in one of his previous griffs had stolen her,

[1:00:58] her granny's life savings.

[1:01:01] A little part of me is like, how is this such a big deal?

[1:01:04] Because she's got like millions of dollars.

[1:01:07] Yeah.

[1:01:07] It's not like grant, like, you know, she can, she can share money, right?

[1:01:12] There's not like a rule against sharing with granny.

[1:01:14] You can share with granny, right?

[1:01:16] I'm not a granny lawyer.

[1:01:17] I don't know what, what you can legally can't share with granny.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:21] I'll look in my air bud book and see what the rules say.

[1:01:24] Okay.

[1:01:25] I mean, I don't trust me.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:26] Air, air buds guide to laws that aren't in the rule book.

[1:01:32] So they fight more.

[1:01:33] They chat.

[1:01:34] They tell jokes.

[1:01:35] Uh, he's, he runs away from her and he gets distracted by her fancy car and sports memorabilia

[1:01:40] garage.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:41] It's very strange.

[1:01:43] Yeah.

[1:01:43] He's like, what?

[1:01:44] Uh, yeah.

[1:01:45] A signed basketball and a football and shoes?

[1:01:49] And fancy cars?

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:51] Yeah.

[1:01:51] That's crazy.

[1:01:52] Uh, she keeps attacking him.

[1:01:53] He keeps running, uh, running.

[1:01:55] But at the same time, he's like becoming more and more understanding.

[1:01:59] Like he clearly has a thing for her.

[1:02:01] He doesn't like, at first I was like, is he just trying to survive?

[1:02:04] I don't think so.

[1:02:06] I think he is trying to survive.

[1:02:07] And the only way he can do that is by convincing her to love him.

[1:02:11] Um, because without her, he'll die.

[1:02:13] Um, so they express their love for each other.

[1:02:15] And possibly with her.

[1:02:16] I think that's true.

[1:02:17] They, somewhere in there is where they do the, we're so cute bit that was horrible.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:22] Oh, but also like, this is, this is way back.

[1:02:25] We, we skipped, I don't know when it happened, but I referenced the, uh, the, the title.

[1:02:31] And the title is meant to be like, me, you, it would be madness.

[1:02:36] Yeah.

[1:02:37] Like that's the idea.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:38] Well, they have this bit, this cute bit we mentioned where he's like, we're the cutest.

[1:02:42] And she goes, we are the cutest.

[1:02:43] He's like the cutie cutest.

[1:02:45] She's like the cutie wootest.

[1:02:46] And it goes on forever.

[1:02:48] To foodie cuties.

Hallie Haglund

[1:02:50] I mean, this literally sounds like something you would do, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:53] But I would do it for the purpose of annoying people.

[1:02:56] But it reminds, but it reminds me of, uh, in a lot of, uh, in a lot of modern comedies.

[1:03:00] So that's okay.

[1:03:01] Yeah, because I'm enjoying it then.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:03] It makes Elliot mad because he sees so much of himself in it.

[1:03:06] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:07] I'm like, the me in you madness was me the whole time.

[1:03:11] But it reminds me of a lot of like, a lot of modern comedy movies.

[1:03:14] They'll improv a lot of different scenes.

[1:03:16] And they'll be just, they're all funny.

[1:03:18] Put them all in.

[1:03:19] Put them all in.

[1:03:20] And this feels like that, but these people are not comedians.

[1:03:22] So it's like, not funny.

[1:03:23] It's just, put them all in.

[1:03:24] Put all the dumb things in.

[1:03:26] The things that don't work and aren't funny.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:27] And have it be two people talking about how cute they are, which everyone loves.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:32] Yeah, and have it happen in, when you've just seen these people have the same basic conversation

[1:03:36] four times.

[1:03:37] And he's been running around being chased by her for forever.

[1:03:40] And we just want the movie to be over at this point.

[1:03:42] Yes.

[1:03:42] You know, unless there's new rooms in the house you're going to show me, which there are not.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:45] But that's so much of it.

[1:03:46] More sports, signed stuff.

[1:03:48] Yeah, more signed stuff.

[1:03:49] Yeah.

[1:03:49] Elliot's like, I'm thinking of wrenching this house.

[1:03:51] Please.

[1:03:52] Please.

[1:03:52] Go behind that, that one door that you haven't opened yet.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:55] Yeah, I want the walkthrough.

[1:03:57] I just thought of a joke that I should have pitched when I was in the punch-up room for

[1:04:01] Me, You Madness.

[1:04:02] I forgot to tell you guys, I was in the punch-up room for this one.

[1:04:04] Oh, wow.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:05] Is that the sports memorabilia?

[1:04:06] She also should have had a horse's-

[1:04:08] Now, is it fucked up that you're doing a podcast about it now?

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:10] I mean, I've heard of more unethical things.

[1:04:13] Anyway, so she should have had a case with the bottom of a horse's leg cut off, and on

[1:04:20] the hoof it would be signed Secretariat.

[1:04:22] And she has one of the Secretariat's hooves signed by him.

[1:04:25] That's the ultimate memorabilia piece.

[1:04:27] That's a good joke.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:28] So, they eventually run out of rooms, and they have a final showdown outside by the pool.

[1:04:34] She has a crossbow.

[1:04:36] He has, what, like a little knife?

Dan McCoy

[1:04:38] Yeah.

[1:04:38] Butter knife.

[1:04:38] Yeah, like a butter knife.

[1:04:40] Yeah.

[1:04:40] Like, at one point, she's so excited that she's, like, fighting him with a curling iron.

[1:04:44] I think the movie really overstates the novelty of that as a-

[1:04:47] It wasn't even on.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:49] Yeah.

[1:04:50] I don't know.

[1:04:50] That's the thing, is it's not plugged in, so I don't know what you're going to do with

[1:04:53] it that's not just hitting somebody.

[1:04:54] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[1:04:54] She's whacking him over the head.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:56] It's just a baton at that point.

[1:04:58] It might as well be an old lady's umbrella at that point.

[1:05:01] And I've seen people get whacked over the head with that.

[1:05:04] So, uh, and this-

[1:05:07] Dan's looking at his phone.

[1:05:08] Danny, any updates from Betty Lou's handbag?

Dan McCoy

[1:05:11] I do have a gut and Betty Lou's handbag update.

[1:05:15] Does William Forsythe do anything for you?

[1:05:17] How about that?

[1:05:20] Dynamically entertaining, heavyset U.S. actor with piercing eyes.

[1:05:23] This is IMDb's description.

[1:05:26] Yeah, Bill Forsythe.

[1:05:26] Yeah, sure.

[1:05:27] William Forsythe has a superb talent for playing some truly unlikable and downright nasty characters

[1:05:33] that dominate the films in which he appears.

[1:05:35] Exclamation point.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:37] So, uh, not so much an update on the movie, the gun and Betty Lou's handbag, but on an actor

[1:05:43] who's in it.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:43] Character actor William Forsythe.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:45] Okay, so, uh, Catherine and Tyler express their love for each other.

[1:05:51] Uh, they end up together.

[1:05:53] We get a little bit of a flash forward.

[1:05:55] Uh, they decide to get married.

[1:05:57] They end up together and they fix their lives.

[1:06:00] They cease to be anything like their original characters.

[1:06:03] Uh, they, we get an update on their new routine, which sounds super fun.

[1:06:08] Uh, and, uh, you get that same vibe whenever you see, like, a new couple and you're like,

[1:06:14] just you wait until it goes to shit.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:18] Yeah.

[1:06:18] Well, and, and, and it's very clear, she very clearly states that she's now on a cocktail

[1:06:21] of antipsychotic drugs and that's how she can have this, have this life.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:25] Yeah, well, and, and during this, the movie, like, made me, like, kind of the angriest

[1:06:32] at it when, like, there's, like, a little aside where it's just, like, about how now

[1:06:35] that she's healthy, she doesn't, you know, like, like, like, like, hey, everyone be

[1:06:39] nice to each other.

[1:06:40] Don't judge people for, like, whether, like, their political views.

[1:06:44] Or whatever.

[1:06:45] And, like, knowing who she is and, like, when this was in production.

[1:06:50] Like, like, how she, you know, had gotten ridiculed.

[1:06:54] Like, it's just like, hey, sure, everyone should endeavor to treat each other with a recognition

[1:07:01] of our common humanity.

[1:07:03] But also, like, we don't dislike you for no reason.

[1:07:06] Like, there's a good, you've done a thing.

[1:07:09] Like, yeah, like, that's the problem.

[1:07:11] Anyway, so, whatever.

[1:07:14] I'm not gonna.

[1:07:15] No, you're right.

[1:07:16] I'm not gonna rant against President Sex Criminal and his cabinet.

[1:07:21] Yeah.

[1:07:21] I mean, he's, he's, he's out of office, so.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:23] So, and then, uh, as the credits roll, we get, like, a fun little montage of their future

[1:07:27] together.

[1:07:28] They have a baby.

[1:07:29] They raise the baby.

[1:07:31] I stopped kind of paying attention after a little while, so maybe the baby grows up.

[1:07:35] Could be.

[1:07:35] I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:36] It's just, it's just assumed that they have a great life from that point on.

[1:07:38] And it's.

[1:07:39] Yeah.

[1:07:39] You kind of are waiting for the moment when it, when Brazil style is revealed this is

[1:07:43] all going on in her head as she sits in the bloody mess of this man she's killed.

[1:07:47] But, I don't know.

[1:07:48] It just kind of, it's just kind of the end of it.

[1:07:50] It's just kind of like, yeah, our love allowed me to go into therapy and become a nice person

[1:07:55] and now we're great and we're just rich.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:57] Well, and, you know, I mean, like, the idea, in so much as this film has any ideas, I think

[1:08:02] is that love of any kind is this leap of faith and, like, a smarter, better movie, it's a

[1:08:10] great, great message.

[1:08:12] Me, you, Madness, it's like, what, what, you're going to toss that in at the very end?

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:16] I don't know.

[1:08:16] I don't know if you've earned having any sort of moral here.

[1:08:20] Well, so this, because here's what this movie feels like to me.

[1:08:22] It feels like a college film.

[1:08:25] This is the film that a college student makes, but it was made by a very rich, approaching

[1:08:30] middle-aged lady who is married to a government official.

[1:08:33] And so it's like, I don't know if after, at this point in life, you're allowed to make

[1:08:38] the kind of movie that, like, a junior in college would make where it's so openly stealing from

[1:08:42] other people's movies and it's so messy.

[1:08:44] Let me check the Air Bud rule book.

[1:08:45] Check the Air Bud rule book.

[1:08:46] Can a, can a, can a, can a lady who should know better be making the same movie that,

[1:08:51] like, a 19-year-old would make and be like, I'm saying a lot here.

[1:08:54] I'm being real edgy.

[1:08:55] I'm really saying stuff.

[1:08:57] And it's just nothing, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:59] Yeah.

[1:09:00] I think, I mean, I think you can make it.

[1:09:02] I mean, I think she did.

[1:09:03] I mean, clearly she did.

[1:09:04] She did.

[1:09:04] It got made.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:04] I mean, again, there's no law against it, but should there be?

[1:09:07] Before we get...

[1:09:08] For the pros, for saying there should be a law against middle-aged people making this

[1:09:11] kind of college student movie, Hallie Haglund.

[1:09:13] Hallie?

Hallie Haglund

[1:09:14] I, I actually, I mean, I, I guess I feel like I haven't thought through the political implications

[1:09:21] of what I really, the impression I really went away with.

[1:09:25] But once I realized who she was, I was sort of like, yeah, like, do this instead of all

[1:09:32] the other worst things you could be doing with your power.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:35] That's true.

[1:09:35] Of all the bad things Steve Mnuchin has done producing crappy movies, which he's also done,

[1:09:39] is kind of the least bad thing.

Hallie Haglund

[1:09:41] And I found it fascinating, like her determination and her weirdness and her mediocrity all combined.

[1:09:50] It's like a very fascinating document of all that stuff, of just like executing something

[1:09:55] and not being that good at it, but putting everything you have into it.

[1:09:59] I don't, it was just like, uh, she, you could tell how much she wanted it to be made and she

[1:10:05] cared about it.

[1:10:05] And it was like, it's weird to know something that personal about this woman.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:10] Yeah.

[1:10:11] It's a little bit like if the movie, the queen of Versailles was about making a movie

[1:10:15] instead of making, if the woman in that, instead of building the biggest house in America had

[1:10:19] been making a movie, like this is what it would have turned into.

[1:10:21] Yeah.

[1:10:22] It's like, yeah, it's, it's fascinating that this is like a, a very personal, it seems

[1:10:26] document from this.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:29] Yeah.

[1:10:29] You know?

[1:10:30] Yeah.

[1:10:30] Well, I, I think we're in like, let's go into final judgments.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:34] I know it's not, if we not officially supposed to say this stuff until Dan calls final judgments,

[1:10:38] which, you know, let's go into final judgments.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:40] Whether this is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie or a movie.

[1:10:44] Or if it's the gun and buddy loose handbag.

[1:10:46] Uh, well, uh, I'll get back to gun and buddy loose handbag in a second, but, uh, Oh, good.

[1:10:52] Please.

[1:10:53] Shit.

[1:10:54] I feel like, I feel like, I feel like there's still a splinter of wood left in the bottom

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:58] of that barrel.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:00] But I know, I wanted to say like, I wanted to get into it cause I think that I'm pretty

[1:11:05] simpatico with what, what Hallie is saying right now, like in terms of my reaction to

[1:11:09] this, where there's part of me that almost enjoys the movie because like, she so desperately

[1:11:16] wants to make it work.

[1:11:19] And like, I don't think, like, I think her acting is by far the weakest part of all of

[1:11:24] it.

[1:11:25] But like, I think that there's ability there that you see in the movie where you're like,

[1:11:30] okay, well, you got the idea for like this thing or that thing.

[1:11:34] Like I could see where like, you know, and, and the fact that there's so much like desire

[1:11:41] to make it work, like kind of makes me want to root for it other than the fact that I don't

[1:11:47] think I would like this person.

[1:11:49] And, but that is like the, the part of it that gives it like interest.

[1:11:53] The fact that it's like, okay, let's look inside this person's mind.

[1:11:57] And the weird thing about it is it seems like it's, it wants to be satire.

[1:12:04] But the problem is she is in the group that she wants to be satirizing.

[1:12:10] So it is the equivalent of one of those Saturday night live sketches where someone goes on and

[1:12:15] like tells them like mildly insulting jokes about themselves.

[1:12:18] And like, see, I get it.

[1:12:20] Like, I'm not so bad.

[1:12:21] Like, so anyway, good, bad movie, but don't pay for it.

[1:12:25] That's what I have to say.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:27] It's like my feelings about the movie are so separate from my, it's hard to separate from

[1:12:31] it.

[1:12:32] I always say you got to separate the art from the artist.

[1:12:34] You know, it's the only way I can watch certain movies because they were made by terrible people.

[1:12:37] But the, in this one, it's so difficult, but it's also, there are things in it where I'm

[1:12:42] like, if this was, there are parts of it where it feels a little bit like if the, if John Waters

[1:12:48] was doing this scene, it would be the same exact scene.

[1:12:50] Like to have, to have a scene where it is so, where she is sitting on the toilet, going

[1:12:54] to the bathroom and watching a TV, watching a TV screen in her bathroom that just has stock

[1:12:59] updates and she's masturbating to it is like, as like on the nose, that kind of satirize

[1:13:05] you can get.

[1:13:06] And in the hands of somebody else, I would have been like, that's a crazy scene.

[1:13:08] It totally works.

[1:13:09] But here it, it doesn't really work.

[1:13:11] But part of that's because I know, like you're saying, she is the person that she's satirizing,

[1:13:16] which means it's, it's hard to take the movie as anything.

[1:13:20] At times there were, it felt like she was both trying to, trying to curry favor with the

[1:13:26] world, being like, see, I get it.

[1:13:27] Rich people are bad, you know, but also that she's trying to like rub your nose in the fact

[1:13:32] that she like, there's a part of me that where she's like, I can make a movie about how people

[1:13:36] like me are awful and there's nothing you can do about it.

[1:13:39] I'm telling you how awful we are and there's nothing you can do about it.

[1:13:42] Look at how terrible we are.

[1:13:42] And we're going to get a happy ending at the end too.

[1:13:44] Yeah.

[1:13:44] And you know what?

[1:13:45] Because I'm rich, I can do whatever I want.

[1:13:47] So it doesn't matter.

[1:13:48] You know, like the ending is, is made me so mad for that reason where it was like, but

[1:13:52] I'm rich.

[1:13:52] So I get to be happy forever, you know?

[1:13:54] And it was, you know, anyway, so it's hard for me to take that from it.

[1:13:57] But honestly, the first six minutes of the movie, I was like, you know what?

[1:14:00] I'm into this movie.

[1:14:01] It's all neon.

[1:14:02] It's all 80s synth music.

[1:14:04] And it's like super fast cut.

[1:14:05] And this lady's voice is very weird.

[1:14:08] And, you know, but then at a certain point I was like, then it was when I was like, wait

[1:14:11] a minute, this is just American Psycho.

[1:14:13] And then she says, but I'm not ripping off American Psycho.

[1:14:15] And I was like, movie, forget it.

[1:14:17] You're too aware of how crappy you are to get away with how crappy you are.

[1:14:20] But I would say it's a good bad movie.

Hallie Haglund

[1:14:22] Yeah.

[1:14:22] I feel like I had, I feel like if this were, if this were my friend who made this movie

[1:14:31] and I saw it, I would have like an incredible generosity of spirit about it.

[1:14:35] And I would be like, there was a lot of, I don't know, there was like a lot of pretty

[1:14:39] good stuff in there.

[1:14:41] You know, it'll get like, eventually they keep making movies.

[1:14:45] They'll get there.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:46] I don't think you're, I mean, and it looks great.

[1:14:48] Like she hired professional people to make it.

[1:14:50] So right off the bat, it looks better than most independent vanity projects.

Hallie Haglund

[1:14:54] But I also think, I don't know, maybe, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like you're giving her

[1:14:58] too much credit for trying to make a statement about rich people or trying to be like in on

[1:15:04] the joke about rich people because she's like, if her past is any indication, she's like so

[1:15:11] lacking in self-awareness and like how she puts herself out there that I feel like the,

[1:15:16] the attempt, I don't know.

[1:15:18] I'm just like, I feel like I said it before, but like making this is so much better than

[1:15:24] like writing a memoir where she's talking about how like, you know, she was the object

[1:15:30] of desire for like, you know, this African village where people wanted to kidnap her or whatever.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:37] Is that what the book is about?

Hallie Haglund

[1:15:38] Yeah.

[1:15:38] It's about how she was in, yeah, it's offensive.

[1:15:41] What?

Dan McCoy

[1:15:42] Ask Lauren about it sometime.

[1:15:44] That's where I got all my information about it.

[1:15:46] I will.

[1:15:47] It's funny stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:47] It seems like it's right up her alley.

[1:15:49] But it does feel like it is, I guess you're right.

[1:15:51] It feels like the way she kind of shows off how the stuff she's got is by making a movie

[1:15:56] about a killer who has the stuff she's got or something like that.

[1:16:00] I don't know.

[1:16:01] There's a, there's a certain, there's a certain kind of like rich, bad person glamour that

[1:16:06] there's a lot of in our media right now.

[1:16:08] And I feel like the Kardashians are a lot of that too, where it's a lot of like, we're

[1:16:11] rich, we're crazy.

[1:16:13] We do whatever we want and we can do it because we're rich and we're not good people.

[1:16:17] And like they, yeah.

[1:16:19] But I mean, but I don't think that they think they're bad.

Hallie Haglund

[1:16:21] I don't know.

[1:16:22] I feel like it was more of like, you know, you, you sort of write the world that you know.

[1:16:28] And so she was like, let me imagine, uh, you know, what's the craziest scenario I can

[1:16:33] come up with a, you know, with a very limited imagination.

[1:16:36] Well, this is the world I live in, like rich people that have all this nice stuff.

[1:16:40] So, uh, yeah, I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:42] Yeah.

[1:16:42] I mean, it doesn't help.

[1:16:43] Did you read the backstory about how she said she passed out in a hot car and had a vision

[1:16:47] of a native American man telling her to make this movie?

Hallie Haglund

[1:16:50] Wait, is that true?

[1:16:51] It's something like that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:52] Let me look it up real quick.

[1:16:53] Hold on.

[1:16:53] Okay.

[1:16:54] Hold on.

[1:16:54] Stuart, give your final judgments and I'll look this up.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:57] So what I, what I will say is, I mean, they're clearly trying to make some kind of a satire.

[1:17:03] Like there, some of her like rich, over the top rich behavior is intended to be a joke,

[1:17:10] but I feel like that's, that's an example of somebody who's like, I know people just like

[1:17:16] this, not realizing that she herself is.

[1:17:18] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:19] I bet that's, that's a good way to put it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:21] Um, but yeah, I mean, uh, the people who made this movie are bad, but this movie is kind

[1:17:28] of a fun, bad movie.

[1:17:31] Sort of fascinating.

[1:17:33] It's kind of fascinating.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:35] I feel like if you can separate it from the, from the person, then this is a good one to

[1:17:38] watch with a group of people and be like, what?

[1:17:40] It's crazy.

Hallie Haglund

[1:17:41] It's really the problem.

[1:17:43] The thing that keeps it from being a good, bad movie for me is that it's actually very

[1:17:47] boring to watch alone.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:48] Uh huh.

[1:17:49] Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:17:49] Which is, I feel like the problem with a lot of good, bad movies is that you, you want to

[1:17:54] be able to turn to somebody on your couch, slap them on the arm and say, did you

[1:17:58] see that?

[1:17:59] Get a load.

[1:18:00] Yeah.

[1:18:01] I love that.

[1:18:02] Elliot, did you find what you were looking for?

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:04] This is according to the IMDB trivia.

[1:18:06] Louise Linton came up with the concept for You, Me, Madness.

[1:18:08] Now this calls it You, Me, Madness, which is not the name of the movie.

[1:18:11] But, uh, after falling asleep in a hot car following a trip to the pharmacy, she described

[1:18:15] a Doors-like vision of an indigenous man telling her to make a movie about a girl boss

[1:18:20] serial killer.

[1:18:20] So she did.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:22] Wow.

[1:18:23] Interesting.

[1:18:24] Okay.

[1:18:24] Uh, I do have one final bulletin from, uh, the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:28] Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:30] Let's have it.

[1:18:31] Back to, back to America's Betty Lou gun handbag news center.

[1:18:35] Oh, wow.

[1:18:36] The energy levels are dropping.

[1:18:37] Well, there was another update for us.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:39] Hey, hey, did you, did you happen to know that Academy Award nominee Kathy Moriarty was in the gun in Betty Lou's handbag?

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:49] Well, the bulletins keep coming in.

[1:18:51] I think we're going to be here all night.

[1:18:53] Uh, why don't we, why don't we go back to your regularly scheduled program and we'll just save up some of these bulletins and maybe release them all.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:59] Elliot's taking his tie off.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:02] Yeah, somebody put a bottle of coffee on because something tells me the story of Betty Lou's handbag's gun is not over yet.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:07] Oh, Elliot's texting his wife to put dinner in the, leave dinner in the oven for him.

[1:19:11] He's not coming home till late.

[1:19:13] Yeah.

[1:19:13] Yeah, yeah.

[1:19:13] Even though he's at his own home.

Hallie Haglund

[1:19:20] Hello, I'm Riley Smurl.

[1:19:22] I'm Sydney McElroy.

[1:19:23] And I'm Taylor Smurl.

[1:19:25] And we host Still Buffering, a cross-generational guide to the culture that made us.

[1:19:29] Every week we share media that made us who we are.

[1:19:33] Things like Archie Comics.

[1:19:35] Sailor Moon.

[1:19:36] And lots of Taylor Swift.

[1:19:38] And now that Riley's an adult, it comes with 100% more butts.

[1:19:43] And now I am totally comfortable with it.

[1:19:45] So check out new episodes of Still Buffering every Thursday on MaximumFun.org.

[1:19:52] Butts, butts, butts.

[1:19:53] Join in, Riley.

[1:19:54] Butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts.

S5

[1:19:56] Hi, I'm Joe Firestone.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:03] And I'm Manolo Moreno.

S5

[1:20:05] And we host Dr. Game Show, a podcast where listeners submit games and we play them regardless of quality with a dozen listeners from around the world.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:13] We've had folks call in from as far as Sweden, South Africa, and the Philippines.

S5

[1:20:20] Here's an example.

[1:20:21] This is a game we've played called Cotton Candy Chicken Nuggets, where you have to sing any eight-syllable phrase to the tune of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[1:20:29] You have an example, Manolo?

Dan McCoy

[1:20:31] Yeah, here's one.

[1:20:32] Little baby turkey turnips.

[1:20:35] Oh, nice.

[1:20:36] Thanks.

S5

[1:20:37] Dr. Game Show has new episodes every other Wednesday on Maximum Fun.

[1:20:41] Check us out.

[1:20:43] Please.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:48] The Flophouse is sponsored in part by Magic Spoon.

[1:20:53] Now, if you've been trying to cut down on carbs or sugar, it might feel like you cannot eat anything anymore.

[1:21:01] Man, you're talking my language.

[1:21:02] Well, Magic Spoon has zero.

[1:21:04] You mean you're talking your own language.

[1:21:06] My own language, which is English.

[1:21:08] Magic Spoon has zero grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, 140 calories, and only four net grams of carbs in each serving.

[1:21:18] It's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low-carb, and GMO-free.

[1:21:26] And if you get the variety pack, you get four flavors.

[1:21:29] You get your cocoa, fruity, frosted, and peanut butter.

[1:21:36] And look, they sent us some samples of these things.

[1:21:41] I have not eaten a lot of cereals since I was a kid because it seemed like an easy thing that is not the most healthy to cut out,

[1:21:49] even though they're much more unhealthy things that I have continued to consume.

[1:21:54] But I was very excited to get these cereals.

[1:21:56] She's looking at me for support right now.

[1:21:58] She's looking at me for support right now.

[1:21:58] These cereals.

[1:21:59] And they genuinely are delicious.

[1:22:04] I have very much enjoyed sampling the Magic Spoons.

[1:22:07] I like the frosted and the peanut butter.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:09] It kind of took me back to when I was eating colorful cereals.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:17] Yeah, it's nice to be able to enjoy something that you may think of as sort of a childish treat and not feel bad about it.

[1:22:25] So if you want to try some of these delicious cereals, again, I'm particularly fond of the frosted and the peanut butter.

[1:22:33] I don't know.

[1:22:33] Yeah, you mentioned that.

[1:22:35] MagicSpoon.com slash flop is the place to go to grab a variety pack and try it out today.

[1:22:42] And be sure to use our promo code flop at checkout to save $5 off of your order.

[1:22:47] And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it is backed with a 100% happiness guarantee.

[1:22:54] So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money.

[1:22:57] No questions asked.

[1:22:58] Now, that 100% happiness guarantee, again, is related to the cereal.

[1:23:04] Happiness of the cereal.

[1:23:05] Yeah, you just want your own personal happiness.

[1:23:09] That's another issue.

[1:23:11] But you can get your next delicious bowl of cereal at MagicSpoon.com slash flop.

[1:23:16] And use the code flop to save $5 off.

[1:23:19] Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring this episode.

[1:23:23] Elliot, your turn.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:25] Speaking of your personal happiness in a non-cerial sense, we are also sponsored in part by BetterHelp Online Therapy.

[1:23:32] And this is an ad for BetterHelp with a P therapy.

[1:23:35] Look, it doesn't matter who you are or what you have in your life.

[1:23:40] Life can be stressful.

[1:23:42] As we saw, even for Louise Linton, life is apparently stressful at times.

[1:23:45] And she just needs to make a movie to get out of her system.

[1:23:48] You may be feeling depressed right now or you may not.

[1:23:51] You may just be feeling down or you may not.

[1:23:53] You may feel like you kind of don't know what's going on.

[1:23:55] I know that sometimes I get very stressed.

[1:23:58] And rather than feeling what you would call even an emotion, it just becomes kind of a cloud or a mist between me and the rest of the world.

[1:24:07] And it's something that I have trouble getting through on my own.

[1:24:10] And the only way I can get it through is to kind of unload it and get it out by talking.

[1:24:15] Talking to somebody who is not a part of my life.

[1:24:18] Someone who I know can talk to me in an unbiased way and listen in an unbiased way.

[1:24:22] Someone who doesn't have a stake in me and so isn't going to judge me or take sides or anything.

[1:24:28] It's just very helpful.

[1:24:29] And a lot of people who have never tried it before I think will be surprised by it.

[1:24:33] Now, I have, again, not used BetterHelp specific therapists.

[1:24:36] But I have used therapy many times to get through these kind of gray times, these kind of like descending fogs, you know.

[1:24:43] And BetterHelp, if you've never used therapy before, it might be a good way to go into it.

[1:24:47] BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist.

[1:24:53] Whatever is the method you feel most comfortable in reaching out to someone, it's more affordable than in-person therapy.

[1:24:58] And at this point, you might feel more comfortable doing it than in-person therapy, sharing a room with somebody.

[1:25:02] See if it's for you.

[1:25:04] We're sponsored by BetterHelp.

[1:25:05] And Flophouse listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash flop.

[1:25:11] Have your first session in under 48 hours and 10% off your first month at B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P as in please helpme.com slash flop.

[1:25:24] And again, cannot say enough.

[1:25:25] If you feel the need to talk to somebody, then fill that need.

[1:25:30] Do it.

[1:25:30] And you have to do it.

[1:25:31] There's no – the only downside is that you might be like, okay, well, I got it off my chest at least.

[1:25:37] There's no – there's nothing that hurts from getting out the thing that might be bothering you.

[1:25:42] And whatever way you choose to do it, it's good and it will help you and is worth doing.

[1:25:48] So why not try it with betterhelp.com slash flop.

[1:25:51] And if that's not the way that works best for you, find another way to do it.

[1:25:54] I think it will help you out.

[1:25:56] Stuart?

Dan McCoy

[1:25:56] Yeah, we've addressed your serial happiness needs and your non-serial happiness needs.

[1:26:02] Stuart, I believe you have a jumbotron.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:04] J-j-jumbotron.

[1:26:07] Okay, speaking of happiness, happy anniversary.

[1:26:12] This is a message for Lev and this is from Gene.

[1:26:17] We've been married nine whole years.

[1:26:20] That's almost a decade of dog and rabbit shenanigans.

[1:26:24] Cooking experiments and road trips in questionable roadside motels.

[1:26:30] And, of course, movie nights.

[1:26:33] From blood sport to my octopus teacher.

[1:26:38] The whole movie cam, yeah.

[1:26:41] You've never led me astray.

[1:26:42] I'm looking forward to the next nine years and beyond.

[1:26:46] Oh, that's adorable.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:48] So that's serial happiness, the rest of your life happiness, and relationship happiness.

[1:26:54] We did it, guys.

[1:26:54] The happiness trifecta.

[1:26:56] All of them.

[1:26:57] L.A., do you have anything to plug?

[1:27:00] Nothing in particular to talk about except the show I wrote for on Fox.

[1:27:05] Housebroken continues Monday nights at 9 o'clock on Fox.

[1:27:09] Check your local Fox affiliate.

[1:27:10] If you like dogs telling jokes, and I don't know why you wouldn't, then watch this show.

[1:27:15] It's called Housebroken.

[1:27:16] And, of course, Maniac New York, my comic book with Andre Moody from Aftershock Comics.

[1:27:20] It's on comic book stores now.

[1:27:21] The trade paperback will be coming out later this year.

[1:27:23] But if you just can't wait, pick up those single issues.

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:26] Get the floppies.

[1:27:27] Yeah, and I'd like to promote my wife has been doing a podcast these last few months.

[1:27:33] I think she has almost 25 episodes, more now.

[1:27:37] It's called I Know the Owner.

[1:27:39] And it is a longtime bartender, bar owner talking to other bartenders and bar owners about bar stuff.

[1:27:48] And it's fun conversations.

[1:27:50] And if you've been missing that kind of like the sound or feel of having a conversation in a bar, this might bring you back and or shed some light on the industry a little bit.

[1:28:03] I am a frequent guest.

[1:28:07] So if you're not tired of me yet, maybe you can test that.

[1:28:14] So check it out, I Know the Owner, wherever you get your podcasts.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:21] Hey, sometimes we get letters from listeners like you.

[1:28:24] What?

[1:28:25] Here are some of them.

[1:28:27] It's mailbag madness.

[1:28:28] That's a great, yeah, that's a good one.

[1:28:29] Here's some of them, yeah.

[1:28:30] Here's some of them.

[1:28:31] My catchphrase.

[1:28:33] This is from Liz.

[1:28:36] I carry jelly beans in my pocket.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:43] Dan kneels down and takes off his shoe.

[1:28:45] I have 10 toes.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:50] Half of them, to be precise.

[1:28:53] Liz, last name withheld, writes,

[1:28:56] Hello, and thank you for years of laughs.

[1:28:59] I'm writing to recommend a movie to flop, perhaps with rom-com special guest Hallie.

[1:29:06] After years of my Catholic husband showing me all the Christmas movies I missed as a kid,

[1:29:11] we set out to find a Hanukkah movie this year.

[1:29:14] Perhaps something we could one day show our interfaith daughter.

[1:29:18] We failed miserably, but the most spectacular failure of all was mistletoe and menorahs.

[1:29:25] I realize Lifetime movies are super easy targets,

[1:29:28] but it would truly delight me to watch Elliot take on a movie containing the line,

[1:29:33] Hanukkah is so random.

[1:29:35] Wait, what?

[1:29:36] There's nothing random about Hanukkah.

[1:29:37] Wait, there's reasons behind everything in Hanukkah.

Hallie Haglund

[1:29:39] Who's in that?

[1:29:40] Is Lacey Charbert in that?

Dan McCoy

[1:29:42] Yeah.

[1:29:42] I can only assume.

[1:29:43] Yeah, she does allow those, right?

[1:29:45] I got a, uh, I got a gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[1:29:49] Yeah, he's got his IMDb account's fucked right now.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:54] It's called, it's called IMG-I-B-L-H-B-D-B.com.

[1:30:02] Internet movie gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:04] Mistletoe and menorahs.

[1:30:06] I was hoping Mistletoe.

[1:30:08] Kelly Jackal.

[1:30:11] From Day of the Jackal.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:12] Jake Epstein.

[1:30:14] I was hoping that Mistletoe and Menorahs would be a buddy cop movie.

Hallie Haglund

[1:30:17] Oh.

[1:30:18] Uh, yeah, I haven't seen this.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:19] In contrast to the gun in Betty Lou's handbag, I recognize none of the names in this cast.

Hallie Haglund

[1:30:26] Wait, Julianne Moore is in this.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:28] What?

[1:30:29] Okay, anyway, um, so, paragraph two, the final paragraph of this letter goes like this.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:35] Paragraph two, the final paragraph.

[1:30:37] The saga concludes.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:39] Alternatively, I'd also be thrilled to get any recommendations from Elliot on a less food fight-esque borderline anti-Semitic movie for Hanukkah

[1:30:49] to balance out all of the Christmas stuff my daughter, who is taken to dancing to your theme song, we said in the video, will be consuming.

[1:30:58] Thanks and stay healthy, Liz.

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:00] Well, Die Hard is a popular Hanukkah movie, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:04] A lot of people don't realize that Die Hard is a Hanukkah movie because it takes place around the same time of year as Hanukkah.

[1:31:11] Actually, here's, I'm gonna, look, I'm gonna break it down, and I would love to be proven wrong by our listeners if they want to tweet at me or email me

[1:31:17] or send a letter to Dan's house at Dan McCoy, 123 Fake Street, Brooklyn, New York, zip code.

[1:31:24] There are no good Hanukkah movies.

[1:31:26] There's like, there's like Eight Crazy Nights, no thank you, and there's like, um,

[1:31:30] uh, well, there's another dumb one, but there's, there's really nothing good.

[1:31:35] There's no, and, uh, Mel Gibson never made that Maccabees movie that he was gonna make,

[1:31:39] so there's really no good Hanukkah movies.

[1:31:41] So here's what I'd tell you to do.

[1:31:42] Just watch the first half of Fiddler on the Roof, go right through the wedding,

[1:31:45] and the minute you see those Cossacks torches in the distance, you turn that movie off.

[1:31:50] Because it gets sad from that point on.

[1:31:52] So that's what you do.

[1:31:52] You watch the first half of Fiddler on the Roof, that's as Jewish as movies get.

[1:31:56] Now, I know this is a very specific Jewish experience.

[1:31:58] It's a kind of romanticized Eastern European shtetl Ashkenazi Judaism.

[1:32:03] Maybe you're Syrian Jews or Spanish Jews.

[1:32:05] It's not the same thing as Ashkenazi Jewish.

[1:32:08] That's okay.

[1:32:09] Look, there's not a lot of movies for you either.

[1:32:11] So just start with this one.

[1:32:12] Watch the first half of that, because most other Jewish movies are either an American tale or very sad.

[1:32:18] So I would say, uh, just watch the first half of Fiddler on the Roof.

[1:32:20] What's wrong with an American tale?

[1:32:22] That's why.

[1:32:22] Yeah, just watch, watch a serious man.

[1:32:25] Yeah, just, yeah, watch a serious man grapples with Jewish issues in a way that I found interesting, but my wife did not care for.

[1:32:32] Maybe because, as she put it, every Jewish woman in the movie is a shrew.

[1:32:36] But, and the only cool Jewish woman, the only cool woman is the non-Jewish woman.

[1:32:40] But anyway, uh, just watch the first half of Fiddler on the Roof.

[1:32:43] Uh, and then, when it's time for the, uh, sad holidays, Yom Kippur and so forth, you watch the second half of the movie.

[1:32:49] That's what we do in my house.

[1:32:51] Uh, but I don't know what happened for Hanukkah.

[1:32:53] I don't know what I'm going to show my kids.

[1:32:54] Right now, they're just obsessed with The Nightmare Before Christmas, which means we're singing a lot of Christmas-y songs, but they're also Halloween songs.

[1:32:59] So, I don't know what to tell you.

[1:33:01] Interfaith.

[1:33:02] Yeah, interfaith.

[1:33:03] Both Christmas and Halloween.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:04] This, uh, second and final letter, uh, uh, is a, is a very sweet letter.

[1:33:12] Um, I will, it's from Fletcher, last name withheld, who writes, Ahoy, floppers!

[1:33:19] Your surprisingly soothing show has been my constant companion through months of working alone from home.

[1:33:25] Between Elliot's melodies, Dan's sighs, and Stuart's audible handsomeness, you've saved me from endless hours of doom-scrolling and anxiety.

[1:33:34] I'm usually content to listen passively, but episode 337, Tom and Jerry, compelled me to write.

[1:33:40] The final minutes of that episode included both a riff on Jerry Orbach's famously donated eyes, and a recommendation...

[1:33:48] I'm going to have to listen to the episode.

[1:33:49] I don't remember anything about us talking about that.

[1:33:51] ...and a recommendation of the organ theft comedy slash horror movie, 12-Hour Shift.

[1:33:57] Through my medical-adjacent job, I've met many people who are alive today because of transplants.

[1:34:03] I was wondering if you might take a moment to tell your listeners about the importance of organ, eye, and tissue donation.

[1:34:09] Flophouse completists already know that Dan's knee benefited from an ACL tissue transplant.

[1:34:16] They may not know that there were more than 39,000 life-saving organ transplants in the U.S. last year,

[1:34:23] or that more than 80,000 people have their site restored with cornea transplants each year.

[1:34:28] The positive effects of these transplants isn't limited to the recipients.

[1:34:31] Their families and communities benefit from the health and healing made possible by the generosity of donors.

[1:34:37] A single person can save up to eight lives through organ donation and improve many more through tissue donation.

[1:34:44] With bad, bad movies like Seven Pounds out there, we need to share good information.

[1:34:50] Thanks and keep on flopping.

[1:34:52] Fletcher, last name withheld.

[1:34:54] More transplant information and a donor registry form are online at DonateLife.net.

[1:35:02] So not the most hilarious of letters, but an important message.

[1:35:06] I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:06] You read it with like a certain panache.

[1:35:08] It was pretty funny.

[1:35:10] We'll just throw some Hanna-Barbera sound effects on there, and I think it'll work out okay.

[1:35:14] No, that's a great message.

[1:35:15] I'm happy to stand behind, as I'm sure you guys all are, to stand behind the call for organ donation.

[1:35:19] Look, you're dead.

[1:35:20] You don't need that stuff.

[1:35:21] Give it to somebody who can use it.

[1:35:22] That's what I say.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:24] Yeah, maybe you were shot with a gun in Betty Lou's hair.

[1:35:28] A movie that Xander Berkeley was in.

[1:35:34] You may recognize him from Terminator 2.

[1:35:37] Oh, wait.

[1:35:38] Todd Voight.

[1:35:38] He played Agent Gibbs in Air Force One.

[1:35:41] Okay.

[1:35:42] If you were shot by said gun and you need an organ transplant, you would be glad to get one.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:50] You're right.

[1:35:50] Thanks for looking at me when you said that.

[1:35:52] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:53] Yeah, because Stuart was about to say that he didn't want any, but you're right.

[1:35:56] He would be very happy to get one.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:58] I don't want any.

[1:35:59] He said, take it and go.

[1:36:05] Oh, such nice letters.

[1:36:08] What's the next part of this podcast, Annie?

[1:36:10] The next part is where we recommend.

Hallie Haglund

[1:36:12] Guys, what if the movie was called The Gum in Betty Lou's handbag?

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:16] I guess it doesn't raise as many questions as the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[1:36:22] I guess what flavor gum?

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:26] Sure.

[1:36:26] Is it wrapped or is it ABC gum?

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:30] Gross.

[1:36:31] Just have an old plug of gum sitting in your bag at the bottom?

[1:36:35] Uh-huh.

[1:36:36] Yep.

[1:36:36] Yeah.

[1:36:37] Well, what if it was the bag in Betty Lou's handbag?

[1:36:39] How did she fit it in there?

[1:36:41] Uh-huh.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:42] Good questions, all.

[1:36:44] The last segment.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:46] Okay.

[1:36:46] What if it was the Betty Lou in the gun's handbag?

[1:36:49] That's a good question.

[1:36:52] Marvel's what if.

[1:36:56] I'm Uatu, the Watcher.

[1:36:58] I see all different realities.

[1:37:00] We all know the world where Betty Lou had a gun in her handbag.

[1:37:02] But what if the gun had Betty Lou in the handbag?

[1:37:05] It might go a little something like this.

[1:37:08] Would it have taken away some of the gravitas of the Watcher if he had been like,

[1:37:11] but what if Daredevil had not lost his sight?

[1:37:13] I think it would go a little something like this.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:16] And then, for some reason, he just does a Jack Nicholson impression every time.

[1:37:21] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:23] What if Jack Nicholson had been bitten by the radioactive spider?

[1:37:26] I think it would go a little something like this.

[1:37:28] I'm Spider Nicholson.

[1:37:30] I got the proportionate strength of a spider.

[1:37:34] Yeah.

[1:37:35] Wait till they get a load of me and my spider strength.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:41] I'm, yeah.

[1:37:46] Recommendations.

[1:37:47] Recommendations of movies.

[1:37:48] That's our last segment.

[1:37:48] And speaking of Marvel, it's not the most creative recommendation, but I went out and saw Black Widow.

[1:37:55] And I just want to say, because I feel like it's been getting kind of more mixed reviews overall,

[1:38:00] I enjoyed it quite a bit.

[1:38:02] And I thought that it was interesting to see a slightly more sort of human emotion-based Marvel movie.

[1:38:11] And it was a movie that I think weirdly dealt with trauma and gave that character a lot more depth than she had been given in the previous films.

[1:38:26] And I enjoyed it a lot.

[1:38:26] I thought all the supporting casts, David Harbour, Florence Pugh, and Rachel Weisz, were also both very funny and sort of weirdly heartbreaking.

[1:38:37] And so I enjoyed it, Black Widow.

[1:38:40] Stuart, why don't you recommend something?

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:38:43] I'm going to recommend a movie that I saw the other day.

[1:38:48] It is a horror comedy.

[1:38:49] I don't know.

[1:38:51] I think I rented it.

[1:38:53] I think it's playing in select theaters now.

[1:38:56] It's a movie called Werewolves Within.

[1:38:59] It is a movie about a small rural town that is plagued with a werewolf problem.

[1:39:09] And it's got a lot of energy.

[1:39:12] It's fun.

[1:39:13] It kind of reminds me a little bit of some of the energy you get out of the Cornetto trilogy.

[1:39:20] And the leads are all great.

[1:39:23] It stars Sam Richardson, who's very funny and charming.

[1:39:27] And her name, I will butcher, is Melania Veintraub, who you would recognize if you were low-key Googling girl from AT&T commercial.

[1:39:42] Yeah.

[1:39:43] And they're both very good in it and a lot of fun.

[1:39:47] How would you high-key Google that?

[1:39:49] You would tell people on a podcast that you're Googling it.

[1:39:52] As opposed to trying to be sneaky about it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:59] Josh Rubin directed that.

[1:40:00] I liked his last movie before this, Scare Me, which is on Shudder, I think.

[1:40:04] Oh, I got to watch that one.

[1:40:06] Yeah, I like that one a lot.

[1:40:08] I'll recommend some movies unless, Hallie, you want to go first.

[1:40:11] No, go for it.

[1:40:12] Guys, it's that time again.

[1:40:14] When I come to the end of the Check New Wave package at the Criterion Channel, I'm going to do two movies just so we can wrap up the Check New Wave package because I know I've recommended a lot of Check New Wave movies.

[1:40:26] Two that I really liked a lot.

[1:40:27] One was called The Ear.

[1:40:29] It is about a politician who believes that he has now gotten on the bad side of the ruling communist party.

[1:40:37] And it all takes place over one night where he and his wife are having an argument after a party that they went to that was full of political figures.

[1:40:46] And he comes to believe that he has been marked for arrest and imprisonment just as a political – just for being on the wrong side of a report about a brick-making factory, I think.

[1:40:58] And it's about a movie that he's been – and comes to believe that everywhere in his house are surveillance things listening to him.

[1:41:03] And I thought it was really good and very tense and just reminded me how terrible it was to be living under communism in those countries.

[1:41:11] That's directed by Carol Kachina I think is the name, how it's pronounced.

[1:41:16] The other movie I recommend is called Diamonds of the Night.

[1:41:18] It was directed by Jan Nemec and is about two young boys who have escaped from a train taking them to the concentration camps during World War II.

[1:41:28] And it is a kind of very stream of consciousness and very poetic and kind of beautiful at times movie of them running away and just what's going through their minds.

[1:41:38] And the experience of running – being kind of escaping into the woods and being eventually chased by a group of very elderly hunters who have been tasked with bringing them down.

[1:41:51] And so both of those I thought were really good.

[1:41:53] They're both somewhat chilling and yet have their moments of lyricalness.

[1:41:57] There's Diamonds of the Night and The Ear.

[1:41:59] And with that, I bid a fond farewell to the Czech New Wave package on the Criterion Channel.

[1:42:05] Who knows what Criterion Channel packages and collections I will bring up next time.

[1:42:10] Hallie, what would you like to recommend?

Hallie Haglund

[1:42:13] Well, have you guys seen that French movie, A Very Curious Girl?

[1:42:18] It's from the 60s.

[1:42:19] I think in French it's called La Fiancée du Pirate or something, The Pirate's Fiancée.

[1:42:29] It's a lot of fun, you know, just sort of randomly watched it one night also off Criterion.

[1:42:35] It's about a woman who is, you know, lives in poverty in this village and is treated like shit by everyone in the village.

[1:42:43] And then her mother dies and she decides to become a prostitute and get revenge on everyone in the town.

[1:42:52] And it was just surprising.

[1:42:55] A lot of fun.

[1:42:56] I also had a question for you guys.

[1:42:58] Have any of you guys seen the movie Shoot the Moon?

Dan McCoy

[1:43:03] No.

[1:43:05] Yes.

[1:43:06] Does that have like Sean Penn in it?

Hallie Haglund

[1:43:09] No, it's Diane Keaton and Albert Finney.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:13] Oh, no, I'm thinking of a different movie.

[1:43:15] No, I haven't seen that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:16] Okay.

[1:43:16] You're thinking of Carlito's way.

[1:43:19] You know, Dan is thinking of the gun in Betty Lou's handbag.

[1:43:22] We know what movie Dan is thinking about.

Hallie Haglund

[1:43:25] Well, I watched this movie the other day by myself and I really wished I had watched it with someone else because I had no idea what I was supposed to take away from it.

[1:43:33] It ends with a very dramatic and violent scene that was, I think, supposed to send me away with a message that I am at a loss for.

[1:43:43] And I read all the old reviews of it and they didn't seem to clarify.

[1:43:47] So if anyone knows what the hell this movie was about, let me know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:52] Okay.

[1:43:53] Get in touch with Hallie.

[1:43:54] If you've got answers about Shoot the Moon, I haven't seen it, but I guess now I have to watch it.

[1:43:58] Yeah, you should.

Hallie Haglund

[1:43:59] And tell me what you think.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:01] Okay.

[1:44:01] In our new podcast, Shoot the What?

[1:44:05] Hosted by Hallie Hagelin and Ellie Cameron.

[1:44:06] Is Peter Weller in it?

[1:44:07] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[1:44:09] I think he's kind of a hunk, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:12] And Karen Allen.

[1:44:13] Oh, yeah.

[1:44:13] Peter Weller's more than a hunk.

[1:44:14] He's a Robocop.

Hallie Haglund

[1:44:15] Oh, yeah.

[1:44:16] Oh, yeah.

[1:44:17] He is.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:18] More than a hunk.

[1:44:18] I'm a Robocop.

[1:44:19] That was the original subtitle of Robocop.

[1:44:22] He's more than a hunk.

[1:44:23] They changed it to, what was it, half man, half robot, all cop.

[1:44:29] But for a while it was just, he's more than a hunk.

[1:44:31] He's a Robocop.

[1:44:32] And they were like, we're not really feeling like this is getting at the tone of the movie.

[1:44:37] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:39] Well, guys, what a pleasure to talk about Me, You Madness with all of you and to be in two rooms.

[1:44:49] Yeah, yeah.

[1:44:49] Feel the real energy, you know?

[1:44:53] I don't know why you're laughing at that.

[1:44:55] I'm just going to.

[1:44:56] It's a creepy way to put it.

[1:44:57] As always, hey, why don't you go over to MaximumFun.org, check out the other podcasts there.

[1:45:04] They're our network.

[1:45:04] They're very nice to us.

[1:45:05] They help us get advertisers and money and all sorts of things.

[1:45:10] And I want to thank Alex Smith, our new editor.

[1:45:14] Stewart's a good friend of many years.

[1:45:17] Our good friend who has been on the podcast way back when and does all the music for the Flop Tales.

[1:45:23] Thank you, Alex, for rescuing me in particular.

[1:45:29] Before I say my name, I just want to say that in the gun and Betty Lou's handbag, you can see Paul Bates.

[1:45:36] Paul Bates, who you might recognize from coming to America and coming to America, both.

[1:45:43] But I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:45:46] And y'all?

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:48] Oh, I guess I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:45:50] Thanks for having me on the podcast.

[1:45:52] It means a lot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:56] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:45:57] I'm amazed Dan didn't mention that Stanley Tucci has an uncredited role in the gun and Betty Lou's handbag.

[1:46:01] What?

[1:46:02] According to Wikipedia.

[1:46:03] Oh, man.

[1:46:04] I bet he looks incredible.

Hallie Haglund

[1:46:07] Hallie Haglund with your top hit podcast.

[1:46:14] Perfect.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:16] And nailed it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:22] On this episode, we discuss Me, You, Madness.

[1:46:26] The first ever movie to feature a Secretary of the Treasury's wife's butt.

[1:46:31] Sorry, Mrs. Albert Gallatin.

[1:46:35] Let me just make sure that I got Gallatin's first name right.

[1:46:39] Yeah, you don't want to be called out for that blunder.

[1:46:42] Okay, yeah, there you go.

[1:46:43] Albert Gallatin.

[1:46:44] Great.

[1:46:44] Got it right.

Hallie Haglund

[1:46:45] Abraham Alphonse Albert.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:47] But he went by Albert.

[1:46:48] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:51] Maximumfun.org.

[1:46:52] Comedy and culture.

S6

[1:46:54] Artist owned.

[1:46:55] Audience supported.

Ep. #347 - Me You Madness, with Hallie Haglund

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