Ep.%350 - The Boss Baby: Family Business, with Sammy Kalan

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss The Boss Baby, family business.

[0:05] Ooh, baby, baby, boss, baby, baby.

[0:10] You know, they did that song in the movie.

[0:12] I know. That's why I just did it now on the podcast,

[0:14] the supplementary podcast that people are going to listen to.

[0:17] OK, sorry, I shouldn't have interrupted.

[0:19] Do you want to do that one again?

[0:20] No, that was I feel like the addition.

[0:23] So people understand.

[0:24] I feel like I feel like having a little

[0:26] little note at the end makes it better, makes it funnier.

[0:30] Yeah, yeah.

[0:30] That's why my copy of Ulysses is funnier is because of all the annotations.

[0:35] OK, and cut, Alex.

[0:37] Perfect.

[0:59] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse.

[1:05] I'm Dan McCoy. Oh, wow.

[1:07] It's me, Stuart Wellington. Double wow.

[1:09] Elliot Kalin here. And you know what, guys?

[1:11] We've got a very, very special guest,

[1:13] maybe the specialist guest we've ever had, not to make our other guests feel less

[1:17] special, but this is the most specialist joining us for this special family

[1:21] episode of The Flophouse is. Say your name.

[1:26] Samuel Kalin. That's right.

[1:28] My son, Samuel Kalin, the original original Kalin boy.

[1:33] Well, not the original Kalin boy.

[1:34] The original Kalin boy was my dad, because right before he was born,

[1:36] the name was changed from Kaplan to Kalin.

[1:38] So he's the first one.

[1:39] Then there's me and my brother and then Sammy and his brother.

[1:42] Should I be writing all this down?

[1:44] Also, there's my dad's brother, too.

[1:45] I should have mentioned him.

[1:46] So Sammy's not the original Kalin boy.

[1:48] He's like the fifth or sixth in line.

[1:50] It's all going to be on the test.

[1:52] And there's my brother, too.

[1:53] But anyway, that's right, guys, I'm the fifth.

[1:55] They're the fifth.

[1:56] So Sammy has joined us for another

[1:58] installment of Kalin's in the aisles, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

[2:04] Sometimes when there's movies, you got to have more than one Kalin.

[2:07] This is one of those movies where you need more than one Kalin.

[2:11] There's Daddy Kalin, me, Elliot, and there's his son, Sammy.

[2:14] Sammy, how do you feel about being in the aisles?

[2:18] Clearly just as annoyed as we are.

[2:20] For those for those listening, you couldn't see that Sammy was

[2:23] literally rolling his eyes and slapping his forehead in disgust.

[2:28] What do you think about joining the family business, Sammy?

[2:32] You can't just shrug, it's an audio medium.

[2:34] Yeah, you got to talk.

[2:37] Thinking, he's thinking.

[2:40] OK, what do you think?

[2:42] I'm still thinking about it.

[2:43] OK, well, think about if you want to join us or not.

[2:46] So, Dan, why don't we tell you at the end if I decide yet.

[2:49] OK, decided whether you liked it.

[2:51] OK, so Dan, while while Sammy's thinking

[2:53] and taking in all the data he needs, I like it.

[2:57] Yeah, when the question was,

[3:00] how do you feel about joining the podcasting family business?

[3:04] I don't think I will.

[3:05] I mean, you don't have to accept it as a job offer just yet.

[3:10] Wait till the end of this this this trial period.

[3:12] Dan, what do we do on this podcast?

[3:15] OK, what do you do on this podcast other than annoy my son?

[3:18] This is a podcast where we watch a bad

[3:21] movie and then we talk about it or, you know, it wasn't that bad.

[3:25] We'll get to that.

[3:26] Well, that's the thing. We will make a judgment at the end.

[3:28] We watch a movie that we presume might be bad based on public reaction,

[3:35] critic reaction, all that sort of advertising.

[3:38] In this case, how how super smug that baby looks on all the posters.

[3:42] Daddy said it wasn't that bad.

[3:44] I know, but we'll we'll get to there.

[3:45] I feel like we'll get we'll do that at the end.

[3:47] First, I feel like there's some dissent in the aisles.

[3:50] So why are you saying it now?

[3:53] Because I want to. OK, wow.

[3:55] That's today's generation born podcaster.

[3:57] They just do what they want.

[3:59] That's the tick tock generation or the Adams family.

[4:03] Well, then they kick and they stop a friend.

[4:04] Yeah, slap. I don't even know that means they slap a friend.

[4:07] Yeah, it's like this.

[4:09] I thought it was they kick and they stop a friend.

[4:11] Yeah, I don't know.

[4:12] Ask him to hammer. Awful.

[4:14] I thought it was like they stop a friend

[4:15] from driving when they've had too much to drink.

[4:17] No. Yeah, I think.

[4:20] Yeah, they're they're real reverse the opposite day types.

[4:23] I guess that's true since they wear their underpants outside their pants.

[4:28] So anyway, this time we watched the Boss Baby family business,

[4:33] which is a sequel to the Boss Baby, a movie that

[4:38] I was told has a very sort of convoluted mythology.

[4:43] And I looked it up on Wikipedia.

[4:44] It does, in fact, it's a high concept

[4:48] comedy that, you know, it did confuse me a little bit at the beginning of this movie.

[4:53] What the heck was supposed to be going on?

[4:54] But once he gets rolling, it doesn't really matter all that much.

[4:57] So, yeah, I was so I had not seen the original The Boss Baby,

[5:01] which I had assumed was just about like a smug baby that talks like and you don't

[5:05] really need much more than that to make a movie.

[5:07] But it was watching this.

[5:09] Sammy and I were both, I think, very surprised to find out,

[5:12] yeah, the elaborate backstory involving a secret corporation of talking babies

[5:16] and magic. And there's like a wizard clock and things like that.

[5:19] I liked I liked one

[5:22] when Armstrong, he like the the back of his robot suit opened

[5:29] and he as as himself, the baby, he just stepped out.

[5:33] Yeah. So, yeah, there's a baby that wears a robot suit.

[5:37] We'll get into all this.

[5:38] And I think and I think because there's no I think it's just like his head

[5:42] with the wig that pops out of the machine.

[5:44] Yeah. Do you say to me, do you want to say,

[5:46] so, Sammy, do you want to tell us what you thought about the movie before we do

[5:49] the summary or do you want to be here for some or explain what happens in the movie

[5:52] for where do you want it or do you want to help me through the summary and explain

[5:55] what happens in the movie? I'll help explain.

[5:57] OK, so buckle up, everybody.

[6:00] I'll correct you if you're wrong. Yeah, please correct me.

[6:03] OK, so again, we have not seen the original movie.

[6:06] So a lot of what we're picking up from

[6:07] the original movie is just context clues from this one.

[6:10] But there's an opening voiceover that were revealed comes from Tim,

[6:14] who I guess was the older brother in the first movie.

[6:16] Yes. And now now he's a grown up and he's

[6:19] a stay at home dad who still has an overactive imagination,

[6:21] which I guess means that in the first movie he had an overactive imagination.

[6:25] Yes.

[6:30] OK, well, when we get to that part, you just remember that now and the dad

[6:34] is voiced by James Marsden, who, you know, I like I like James Marsden.

[6:38] He's been he's been the best part of many Flophouse movies.

[6:41] And he is for now. And this dad is he's kind of like a young dad.

[6:44] He's pretty hip. He looks like a Warby Parker ad.

[6:47] Right.

[6:48] Certainly. He's certainly a young hipster dad

[6:50] who never thought that he'd be living out in the suburbs.

[6:52] He assumed he would live in the city,

[6:53] but now he lives out in the suburbs and he's loving it.

[6:55] Still wearing skinny jeans. I like it.

[6:58] According to Wikipedia, this character was voiced by Tobey Maguire.

[7:01] Yes. First movie.

[7:03] And also the character that was

[7:06] the Tobey Maguire character.

[7:07] They originally had wanted Patton Oswalt.

[7:10] I don't know whether he was cast and had

[7:11] to step away because of his family tragedy or what the story was.

[7:14] But he was he was also going to be that.

[7:17] So this is this is kind of like Mark three of this character of Tim.

[7:23] And that was a little bit of our regular regular feature.

[7:25] Boss baby behind the bleachers where Dan tells you the real behind the scenes

[7:29] backstage drama behind the making of the boss baby.

[7:32] Dan, whether boss baby stories do you have for us?

[7:35] Well, let's see.

[7:37] And don't worry about don't worry.

[7:38] I know you don't like to reveal names or your sources.

[7:41] Just tell us a little birdie told you a little boss birdie.

[7:44] I hear that the first boss baby is kind

[7:48] of good at the beginning and then gets convoluted.

[7:50] I don't know. Wow.

[7:51] You heard it here first, folks.

[7:53] That's the kind of juicy, exclusive,

[7:56] behind the scenes goss you can only get from Dan McCoy and boss baby behind.

[8:00] One thing about boss, I feel like I've been I feel like Dan's

[8:03] just wetting our lips, he's just wetting our taste buds.

[8:07] I'll find some other boss baby facts to drop in later on.

[8:11] Yeah, well, that's the joke.

[8:12] I think if I think, Dan, we'll be back to you later with if I

[8:16] remember with more for from the boss baby behind the bleachers.

[8:19] I guess look up your your network of little birdies,

[8:22] the little chickadees that are in your spiders web that feed you information

[8:26] that allow you to control Bosteros, the boss baby kingdom.

[8:31] So, Tim, he does have a real overactive imagination.

[8:34] Almost immediately, we were thrown into his kaleidoscopic hallucinations that he

[8:38] is he and his family are now race car drivers or he's an old West saloon keeper.

[8:42] He's a mad scientist with a stuffed animal.

[8:45] He's the kind of dad who is, I imagine,

[8:47] for other adults a lot to deal with and they they surf on lava.

[8:50] Right. You can say it into the microphone.

[8:54] Yeah. Feel free to interrupt me,

[8:55] because I know I'm going to interrupt those guys a lot, just like at home.

[8:59] Yeah, he's got one of those like one

[9:01] of those Gabriel Garcia Marquez imaginations, right?

[9:06] That's the way I would describe it.

[9:08] I recently this is behind the looking glass, not behind this.

[9:12] I I will read a book aloud to my wife before we go to bed.

[9:15] Like we read through books and we just

[9:17] started 100 Years of Solitude, which I had read before, but she had not.

[9:20] And yeah, I think until seeing the boss baby family business,

[9:23] there was nothing else I saw that really reminded me of the story of the Buendia

[9:28] family, is it guys watching, watching, watching this movie?

[9:31] I have a question and that's what is real.

[9:37] That's a good point, because he has an overactive imagination

[9:41] which causes them to be like race car drivers and stuff.

[9:43] But then in the real movie, in reality,

[9:46] there's a secret corporation of babies that have super high tech technology

[9:50] and a baby pretending to be a person and magic formula that can de-age you.

[9:54] So his imagination is actually less crazy than the stuff that happens in the real.

[9:58] If anything, his imagine.

[10:00] Imaginings are a coping mechanism allowing a more mundane human version of the world to compete with the bizarre world. He lives in. Yes

[10:07] Why would he why would he pretend to why would Armstrong pretend to be a grown-up if he wants to get rid of them?

[10:14] Because he needs to find a way to indoctrinate the babies. We'll get to that. We'll get to that

[10:18] Okay, so cuz we're only I think 15 seconds

[10:20] Oh, I think I think when we do the poll later in the episode as to what character do we each find most fascinating?

[10:26] I think I can guess Sammy's

[10:28] Guys guys, I have a I have a behind the bleachers a

[10:33] Bulletin for you. Unfortunately, it's not time for that right now to it in just a minute

[10:37] okay, but Tim has a wife Carol who wears surprisingly tight workout pants and

[10:43] To play by Eva Longoria and two daughters Tabitha and baby Tina Dan. What is your behind the bleachers story?

[10:49] Oh, yeah, it is that in the original film the boss, baby

[10:55] A young Timothy was played by Miles Bacchi

[11:00] Who is the grandson of Ralph Bacchi?

[11:03] Oh, I saw his name in the credits and I wondered if that was it

[11:07] So animation royalty air air to the throne of cartoons that are more groundbreaking than successful

[11:14] in many ways

[11:24] Daddy who's the character with the like orangish red hair? Oh the kid who's mean? Yeah

[11:29] I don't remember that kid's name Templeton or something like that. That sounds right and the right bully child. He's the bully so

[11:37] so they update us on the characters in the beginning Tim has grown up and as a family Ted the

[11:42] Titular boss baby from the first movie is now a successful millionaire, but he seems to be lonely at the top. He's all Rosebud situation

[11:51] Exactly so Tabitha the older daughter. She's very ambitious and responsible and overachiever

[11:55] She idolizes her uncle Ted and when her and her dad is too silly for her when he goes to give her a goodnight

[12:00] Kiss she wants a good night handshake, which is a rough moment for any dad

[12:04] Let me tell you Sammy the first time that you want to give me a handshake instead of a kiss

[12:08] I will be devastated

[12:09] But I know it's gonna happen because we'll be in business together as the Kalen boys podcasting Network guys

[12:14] I hate to break it to you. Well

[12:17] Talk to Sammy about it yet, but I think what right? It's gonna be called or Kalen and sons

[12:23] Sammy does a lot of Sammy's reactions to my jokes are withering stairs. I

[12:28] Have a quit now. So this is this moment in the movie. I have a question for you as a father Elliot now

[12:33] Certainly, I understand

[12:34] Not wanting a handshake in replacement for a kiss like I think about the movie prelude to a handshake

[12:41] There's no romance. It's gotta be prelude to a kiss imagine

[12:45] Despite handshake from Rose. No good handshake of the spider woman who cares, you know

[12:50] I understand being distressed a handshake before dying. Come on. Nope that your child shake handshake bang bang

[12:57] Come on, it just loses a lot. Yeah

[13:00] Am I really gonna go see a band called handshake?

[13:02] I don't care what kind of makeup they wear or whether they want to rock all night and party every day

[13:06] They're called handshake. Come on. Now. Is that also all in caps and it stands for something? Yeah, it stands for it's it's hoodlums

[13:15] attacking normal

[13:17] denominations

[13:18] supporting healthy and

[13:21] Christian with a K

[13:22] Education. Oh, wow. It started out a lot more

[13:27] Sort of bad than the ending there. I mean, it's just a version of Knights in Satan's service, you know

[13:32] They're against Christian education. Oh, they're against it. I see they're attacking. Yes. Remember it's hoodlums against normal

[13:40] denominations the normal denominations are supporting healthy and Christian education handshake

[13:50] Normal denominations comma

[13:53] supporting

[13:56] No, I don't think I think this I think the comma makes it seem like it's the hoodlums that are supporting

[14:01] That's what I that was the confusion is what I'm saying. Oh, I see. I see. Oh, no. No, no

[14:10] So Dan, what was your question about my concern was being a grown being a dad look I get I get you know

[14:16] feeling your child is growing up too soon and

[14:19] Fearing the day they won't need you anymore. But right before that

[14:26] She doesn't want a good night

[14:29] Song that he was gonna sing on this guitar and I did feel like

[14:34] you know, this is probably because I am a heartless childless man, but I did feel like as

[14:40] If I were a parent the moment at which my child does not require a long

[14:47] Sort of ceremony to get to sleep. I would be excited by I feel like I'd be like

[14:52] Let me get back out into the living room. Well, let me put your hands over your ears for this Dan

[14:56] You are exactly right exactly, right, but here's the thing. There's a lot about parenting. Okay, you can take your hands off

[15:02] There's a lot about parenting where and he put his hands on over the headphones

[15:07] If there's a lot about parenting that you really can't wait to be done with until you're done with it and then you miss it

[15:13] So like the the time that when you're like, oh this baby is keeping me up all night

[15:17] I can't wait till he sleeps through the night

[15:19] There is a moment where that ends and you're like, but my baby needed me and now he doesn't need me

[15:25] And so that's the way those parents every night. I'm sure Tim was like, oh, I gotta sing a song

[15:30] But now that she doesn't want the song he's like, but but but but but our special moments

[15:33] This is making clear that someday you'll leave and I'll die and frankly as we'll find out later

[15:39] She could use a little bit more musical education. Oh for sure. We'll find out she really does need it. So anyway

[15:46] he

[15:47] It's a real it's a real there's real cats-in-a-cradle moment as he's thinking about the past

[15:52] And then he's interrupted by

[15:54] Okay by a talking wizard

[15:57] that's also a toy clock and this is the first of the moments the movie where I was like, wait a minute is this a

[16:02] Magic movie because like magical part of the movie. That was strange

[16:06] Yeah, cuz so can you a wizard a wizard that lost its hand? Yeah, can you describe this wizard clock? Mm-hmm?

[16:13] Wizard in blue robes with was it stars on his robes? Mm-hmm classic

[16:18] He has one hand apparently I think he lost it when

[16:23] Tim shoved him in a box. Yeah, and he but he's

[16:27] He's angry and he wants revenge and he's like the toys and toy story right like he can talk

[16:32] Yeah, you can think and talk. Yeah, do we ever see another toy act this way in the movie?

[16:36] Yes, we do when when that toy that or is it just how it's supposed to be the toy that

[16:43] that Tina this guy this guy's is

[16:48] She like puts it in her bed as her. Well, but that yeah, that's true

[16:52] That one kind of talks a little bit too

[16:53] But I think that one was more just supposed to be a stuffed animal

[16:56] You're right that this there's it's it's ambiguous as to whether any other toys in this world could talk

[17:00] It's very it's like sharing a very for podcast fans. It's very use it or the blue type energy. Yeah

[17:06] Yeah, that's a bit that's a good way to put it. And so

[17:11] This wizard toy clock is like he's Tim's like I wish I could turn back the clock and the wizard is like don't doubt my

[17:17] Power I'll do it and I was like, okay, so that's what this is about

[17:19] It's gonna be about a magic toy clock that makes them young again

[17:23] No, it is not that wizard. It just is a character that pops up for comic relief later

[17:28] He's friends with a toy of Skeletor, which but the Skeletor doesn't talk because I was kind of hoping Skeletor

[17:35] Yeah, yes

[17:38] Talk about you don't have to whisper to me

[17:41] That's okay, you can tell you can jump around

[17:43] We jump around

[17:46] When they become when it when they're going to this school, that's was it acorns acorn school

[17:53] Yeah, when they're going to it, they have to sleep in the attic of their house because they don't want anybody noticing them

[18:00] yes, so

[18:02] Apparently the clock rings with daylight savings. So they have to like rush out the door. Yes, exactly

[18:08] So the clock he forgets to set it for daylight savings. So apparently I guess it's near daylight saving

[18:15] Okay, that's good for us to know excellent. It's that well because it's Chris it's around Christmas time, right?

[18:19] Like it's winter time. So they're supposed to

[18:21] Winter back. Was it nice for you guys? Was it nice for you guys to see?

[18:26] Snow since your winters have not been particularly snowy lately. How did you fit the Sammy?

[18:32] I know you've missed snow quite a bit. You're very vocal about that. Was it nice to see snow again?

[18:37] See snow again, yeah

[18:40] No, no, but in the movie was it nice that was my question. What's real?

[18:44] That's true. Cuz right after we moved to Los Angeles, I went to go see Spider-Man

[18:49] Home again home again Spider-Man home again home again

[18:52] Jiggity Jake and the and seeing him on the subway really brought I'd only been away from New York for a couple months

[18:58] But seeing him on the subway in that movie really brought back pangs of like oh

[19:02] I don't get to do the movie and the last time I've seen snow was on my sixth birthday

[19:08] Yeah, right. It was a long time ago. It was a year and a half ago

[19:12] Yeah, and when it was around the time we were but the last time we were in New York during the winter, right?

[19:16] Yeah, yeah

[19:17] Although you we were just in New Jersey visiting my parents and there were only a few like they're only like a few snowflakes

[19:23] Yeah, and what did you get to see on this New Jersey trip that we don't get to see in Los Angeles?

[19:27] Thunder and lightning storms

[19:29] Yeah

[19:29] and rain and we also we were at my dad's house and there were bats flying around in the backyard and it's very funny because it

[19:34] Was like all they were doing was flying around if these had been birds

[19:37] Nobody would have bat in an eye no pun intended

[19:39] But because they were bats everyone was running around screaming as if they were actual vampire

[19:45] Yeah, I guess that's true only grandma I was trying to make it sound like everyone was okay, so

[19:49] Baby, Tina make a long story short

[19:51] She reveals to Tim that she can talk and under her pajamas is a business suit

[19:55] I guess she's the new boss, baby. Amy Sedaris. It's Amy. Yeah, baby

[20:00] Seems like every clothes she's wearing, seems like she like has the suit on under every clothes she has on.

[20:07] It might just be your skin. What do you think? Is that the case?

[20:09] No, it can't be.

[20:10] Okay, well, that's called yes and.

[20:13] Because you see her skin, like her hands, her face.

[20:16] That's true.

[20:17] It's not the same, it's not like black, it's not the color of like, like microphone.

[20:23] Okay, good point. That's a very good point. All right. He's proven me wrong.

[20:26] And she reveals that she is from Baby Corp and it was like, what? I didn't see the first movie.

[20:32] Baby Corp?

[20:33] No, not Baby Corp, which would be, I guess, where Judge Whittle Harry suspends his justice.

[20:39] Daddy, isn't Baby Corp like, isn't like it connected to Acorn School?

[20:44] And Baby Tina is a baby, so it seems like she has to be working for the bad guy.

[20:50] No, no, because Baby Corp and the bad guy are opposing sides.

[20:54] So Baby Corp, it turns out, is a secret magic corporation run by babies.

[20:58] When the purple light comes through that globe in Baby Corp, it seems like they're all happy.

[21:05] When it goes away, it seems like they're still all happy.

[21:07] No, I think they were unhappy. They were going, oh, they were monitoring the situation and they were unhappy about it.

[21:12] But that lack of clarity was getting to me also because actually that globe, I forgot where it was supposed to be happening.

[21:17] So Baby Corp, as you may have known from the first movie, but I didn't, is a magic corporation run by babies.

[21:23] And I guess Ted, Tim's brother –

[21:26] It's in like heaven or something?

[21:28] It seems like it's in the clouds and it's all made out of holograms and it's very strange.

[21:33] And how did they – and it's like – it seems like they were holograms but nobody else was there.

[21:38] And they got there by sucking on like magic pacifiers that took them through a portal in space.

[21:43] It's like suddenly the movie kicks into overdrive.

[21:46] They were like – they were fighting over who would have the pacifier.

[21:51] They each wanted the other one to have it.

[21:54] And then I think it was like Baby Tina.

[21:57] She took the one that they had and then she tossed two other ones and then they started sucking on them.

[22:03] Yeah, that's actually – that happens a little bit later and it was – watching the movie with my son, I really didn't – did not care for the scene where they were yelling, you suck it.

[22:10] No, you suck it. And she goes, why don't you both suck it?

[22:13] And I was like, unnecessary.

[22:14] Anyway, Baby Cor, she's very pushy.

[22:16] There's a problem with Baby Cor.

[22:17] She needs his help and she needs help to get Uncle Ted who's now grown up.

[22:21] It says later in the movie that she quits Baby Cor.

[22:23] I never saw that.

[22:24] But that was just a ruse.

[22:25] That was just a trick.

[22:26] She never said that.

[22:27] A clever ruse.

[22:28] She did.

[22:29] It was a clever ruse.

[22:30] So for some reason, Tim has a flip phone and they – she – by recording Tim's voice on like a Teddy Ruxpin,

[22:39] she's able to patch together a message to leave on the voicemail of his brother Ted.

[22:43] And this is where it starts getting frustrating that the main characters are named Tim and Ted and their – the daughters are named Tabitha and Tina, and it was very easy for me to get their names mixed up.

[22:51] All four Ts.

[22:52] All four Ts.

[22:53] The four Ts.

[22:54] And Sammy's comment at the time when we watched was, that was a fun scene.

[22:56] So that's what he said immediately after it was over.

[22:58] When?

[22:59] When.

[23:00] Oh, when they were changing back?

[23:01] No, no, when he first finds out that she's a baby that can talk.

[23:05] Oh, yeah.

[23:06] I liked that scene because it seemed like it was kind of creepy at first, but then it was like silly.

[23:10] Yeah.

[23:11] Not to tip my eventual feelings for this movie, but this is one of those points where I'm like – hearing Sammy's reaction just points up the fact that the major problem with this movie is I'm not the demographic that this is meant for.

[23:26] What's the demographic for it?

[23:28] Dan's not a baby or a boss.

[23:32] Because I watched the whole scene where they were, like, tossing the formula back and forth and drinking it, and I was kind of like – at this point in the movie, I'm like, well, clearly there's enough formula for both of them.

[23:45] They both want to do this.

[23:48] And it seemed like when they drank it, still the whole thing was left.

[23:52] Yeah, so why are they fighting over it?

[23:54] And I liked when Tim drank the first little bit of it.

[23:58] He grew a mustache and he shrunk.

[24:01] Because they're getting younger a little bit.

[24:03] But how come Tim didn't – how come Ted became a baby but Tim was still like a kid?

[24:14] Maybe they only had so much de-aging formula.

[24:16] He didn't shrink enough.

[24:17] Yeah, we'll get to that.

[24:19] This is the point where Tim, I think – this is the point where Tim proves that he's not a very good dad because he insists on going on this adventure at the fact that he knows he's going to have to – he knows how long it's going to last, 48 hours.

[24:35] And he knows that's going to possibly jeopardize going to see his daughter's recital, and also he's going to have to lie to his wife and family for a while.

[24:43] He still has a mug that says World's Best Dad.

[24:47] He should turn it in.

[24:48] I think the problem with him as a dad is that all his dadding is about him.

[24:53] It's the Tim show, and the kids need to be entertained by the Tim show, and clearly they are exhausted by it, which I totally get because I put maybe one one-hundredth of the effort into my dad show that I put on, and it exhausts my children.

[25:06] They're all kind of hostages to his fantasy.

[25:09] When they were going to school, it was crazy because when Ted whistled, this pony, Precious, would follow the whistling.

[25:23] Well, that's just cartoon logic.

[25:25] We should – wait.

[25:26] I want to very quickly fill in the gap of where the plot – where we left off, but Dan, what were you going to say before I do that?

[25:32] Well, this is one of those instances of movie logic when it comes to parenting where the worst thing in a movie is to miss a recital, and that is given the most weight, whereas the fact that he becomes a child and abandons his wife in charge of the other kids for 48 hours.

[26:01] As you say, it's kind of just played over as a joke, and she's mildly annoyed, but she's not extremely angry as I would expect someone just disappearing right before Christmas.

[26:14] I mean his parents are there to help out too.

[26:16] When they're going to school, and they have those things where they can detect – baby Tina can see where they are, and they can spy on Armstrong.

[26:27] I think it's funny when they find out who – when Ted actually finds out who Armstrong is, and he just eats a lot of candy, and Ted accidentally drops the butterfly one he has into one of the candy bowls, and Armstrong pops it into his mouth and cringes on it.

[26:45] What I like about this episode –

[26:46] And I think they can still see inside his mouth.

[26:48] I think so.

[26:49] This episode is a very Slaughterhouse-Five, Billy Pilgrim, Unstuck in Time sort of telling of the story.

[26:54] Just adding to more of the Gabriel Garcia Marquez feel.

[26:56] So to fill in briefly, it turns out Ted doesn't remember being a baby boss.

[27:01] He's now a real boss.

[27:02] He's a millionaire.

[27:03] Tabitha loves Ted.

[27:04] He doesn't remember until he sees – he doesn't remember until he sees –

[27:09] Until they suck.

[27:10] Until he sees the statue, the gold statue of him in Baby Corps.

[27:14] Yeah, Tina gives them magic pacifiers as mentioned.

[27:16] They are all told to suck it, and they go to Baby Corps headquarters where there's a big gold statue of him, and Ted remembers how great he is as a baby.

[27:23] And she says, here's the baby crisis monitor center.

[27:26] There's this guy, Dr. Irwin Armstrong, voiced by Jeff Goldblum, and he's at – he runs Tabitha's school, and he wants kids to be more ambitious so they can run the world.

[27:34] He's trying to destroy childhood.

[27:36] Babies.

[27:37] He wants babies to rule the world, so he's teaching them to code and stuff like that.

[27:43] Yeah.

[27:44] And he wants to get rid of all parents, and at the end of the movie, he –

[27:48] Well, you'll find out.

[27:49] We'll get to that.

[27:50] That's a reveal.

[27:51] That's a big reveal.

[27:52] That's a big reveal.

[27:53] So she gives them a magic formula that de-ages them.

[27:55] They fight over it for no real reason.

[27:57] Like as we've said, there's enough for both of them.

[27:59] And again, Tim should not even be taking the serum.

[28:03] No, and it's from – well, Time Warp from Rocky Horror Picture Show plays, and this is the first of several questionable music backing choices where if someone – like later during the – there's a moment where the babies all dance to Push It.

[28:18] I think it's because it says, ooh, baby, baby, but it's like –

[28:20] 100 percent.

[28:21] Yeah.

[28:22] The other lyrics in the song are Push It.

[28:23] It's not an appropriate song for a baby.

[28:26] Also, the version of the Time Warp they're using sounds like a karaoke track because it just has the backing singers but has reasonably for a child's movie removed the main lyrics.

[28:39] But there will still be like spaces for it in the music.

[28:43] So you'll have like this kind of blank where it's like the – it's just a jump to the left part should go.

[28:49] But then you do have backup singers singing, and then a step to the right, and it's so strange.

[28:57] It's very confusing, and this fight ends with the two of them, one is a kid and the other is a baby, pinching each other's nipples and screaming in pain, and I was like don't care for that.

[29:06] That's not something that I like to see in a kid's movie.

[29:09] One just has underpants on and one is naked.

[29:13] Yes, the baby is naked.

[29:14] This is the moment when Sammy said this is hilarious.

[29:17] This movie is the best.

[29:18] We're watching it.

[29:19] The part when they're going to school, I think it's – they're riding Precious.

[29:26] So wait.

[29:27] They have to go to the school to plant spy devices, Sir Armstrong, and Precious is a pony that Uncle Ted got for Tabitha.

[29:35] I can't believe you brought Sammy along to stunt on my own summary doing.

[29:39] He's just showing me how bad I am at doing summaries.

[29:43] No, no, no.

[29:45] So Sammy, what was your feel about this pony Precious who plays a bigger and bigger part in the movie as it goes on?

[29:50] It seems like she's always saving them.

[29:53] Yeah.

[29:54] It's much like Gandalf and the Hobbit where Bilbo and the others will just get into a big trouble, and Gandalf will show up and go…

[30:00] All right, get on this eagle, it'll fly you to safety

[30:02] like this horse keeps coming in to save Ted's life.

[30:05] And just like Gandalf and the Hobbit, I'm like,

[30:07] does she have a boyfriend?

[30:08] Cause I'm developing a crush.

[30:10] They, when they're going to school,

[30:13] they ride Precious the pony.

[30:15] And then they, it's around Christmas time.

[30:17] So they bump into this like mug

[30:20] that has all these like fake presents in it.

[30:22] And then they're riding in the, Tim's riding in the mug

[30:25] while Ted is still riding on top of Precious.

[30:30] There's a big chase team, right?

[30:31] Yeah, and then-

[30:32] There's three police officers that chase after them?

[30:33] Oh, wait, no, wait, no.

[30:35] And then I think it was, it's,

[30:40] and then their family,

[30:41] and then the rest of the family sees them riding

[30:44] and then they go like ahead of them.

[30:46] And then the cop, and then the, what are they?

[30:49] Oh. The triplets.

[30:49] Yeah, the triplets.

[30:50] Yeah, I guess the characters from the first movie

[30:51] and are now grown up and are motorcycle cops.

[30:54] They, they're chasing them.

[30:56] And then they ride in,

[30:58] is it next that they ride into the Christmas tree?

[31:00] Well, they ride through a movie theater

[31:01] that seems to be playing Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron.

[31:04] Another dream work scene.

[31:05] A movie that has been forgotten by time.

[31:07] And then, and then,

[31:10] And then-

[31:11] Then a Christmas tree.

[31:12] No, wait, no.

[31:13] And then Precious, Ted, Tim,

[31:16] the cop with the fake presents and the triplets

[31:19] ride through-

[31:20] And the guy in the movie theater chair that they-

[31:22] Oh yeah, they, no, I'm saying

[31:25] when they crashed through the movie screen.

[31:26] Oh, sorry, yeah.

[31:28] And there's one guy in the theater.

[31:30] And does he ride along with them?

[31:32] He gets tangled up in their wires.

[31:34] And then-

[31:35] Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron played.

[31:36] There was one guy in the theater.

[31:37] Yeah, nobody in the theater.

[31:37] And then, and then they crashed through a Christmas tree

[31:40] with the mayor and I think they-

[31:42] And the Christmas tree bursts into flame for some reason.

[31:45] And then by some reason they ride into the snow

[31:49] and they become a huge snowball.

[31:51] Yeah, so it's a very,

[31:52] this movie gets more and more kind of hectic

[31:54] and hyperactive as it goes along, much like the snowball.

[31:57] It builds up speed until by the end of the movie,

[31:59] it was hard for me to kind of keep track

[32:01] of the images I was seeing on screen.

[32:02] And you just have Jeff Goldblum spitting out one-liners

[32:05] like no matter what was happening on screen,

[32:07] whether he was on screen or not, it was very,

[32:09] it was the movie just kind of,

[32:11] it was a little bit like you're on one of those

[32:14] spinny playground rides and you lose control of it

[32:17] and you're just, you end up falling off of it.

[32:20] Anyway, so.

[32:21] And then-

[32:22] They get to the school.

[32:23] But the family's car is like right on the road

[32:28] that they're just gonna go.

[32:29] Yeah, they almost get seen, but they managed to pass by.

[32:32] So Tim has told his family that he's gonna be

[32:35] on a brother's bonding trip.

[32:37] So that's how he covers up his absence.

[32:38] And his brother Ted has this like helicopter.

[32:43] And when they go upstairs into the attic,

[32:46] the helicopter lifts off and leaves.

[32:50] So it's like they're going on the trip.

[32:53] But back to the school.

[32:54] Back to, so they go-

[32:55] So there's these colors.

[32:57] So describe the school.

[32:58] It's like a futuristic kind of theme park, right?

[33:00] Yeah, and there's all the-

[33:02] The kids are all organized by colored badges.

[33:03] Yeah, there's yellow, green, red, purple, and blue.

[33:08] And blue is the highest and yellow is the lowest.

[33:11] And Tim gets yellow.

[33:13] Wait, what does high mean and what does low mean, Sammy?

[33:16] Oh, that's a good question.

[33:17] What do you mean by the highest and the lowest?

[33:18] Like the smartest kids go into blue

[33:21] and the like young babies go into yellow.

[33:26] And these babies are particularly-

[33:26] Is that saying that babies aren't smart?

[33:31] Ooh, wow, he's caught you there, Sammy.

[33:32] Are you saying babies are not smart?

[33:34] I'm saying that these babies are just learning.

[33:37] They're like-

[33:38] Okay, good save.

[33:39] The babies are like-

[33:40] Trying to get him canceled.

[33:42] This is why I want him to run for office.

[33:43] The mayor's kid is squirting glue on his face

[33:45] and sticks things to it.

[33:47] Yeah.

[33:47] And-

[33:48] There's a bit of a switcheroo where Tim-

[33:50] Tim gets yellow.

[33:52] Tim gets yellow and Ted gets blue.

[33:53] And then Tim tricks Ted.

[33:55] And so he ends up with blue.

[33:56] So he's in Tabitha's class.

[33:57] And to even get these uniforms,

[33:59] to even get these uniforms,

[34:00] they had to pull a little Hitman Agent 47 action.

[34:03] Wait a minute.

[34:04] We're not talking about video games?

[34:06] I thought this was a video game podcast, guys.

[34:07] No, not anymore.

[34:09] Tim calls himself, what is it?

[34:11] Marcos Lightspeed is the name he gives in the class.

[34:14] And I was so-

[34:15] He starts becoming friends with Tabitha.

[34:18] And I was so worrying,

[34:19] and Dan and Sue will know what I mean,

[34:20] but Sammy went,

[34:21] this we're going to get into Back to the Future Territory.

[34:23] Back to the Future Territory.

[34:24] Luckily it does not get into Back to the Future Territory.

[34:28] I thought it would be funny if like the producers of it

[34:32] were worried about that interpretation

[34:35] because it does feel like there's that tension

[34:37] in those scenes.

[34:39] Oh, there's a scene later where I think,

[34:40] where I feel like she's about to kiss him.

[34:41] And I was like, don't do this movie.

[34:42] When?

[34:43] When?

[34:44] When they're hanging out at her house.

[34:46] At their house.

[34:47] Their house.

[34:48] I know.

[34:49] It's not Marcos Lightspeed's house.

[34:51] So he-

[34:51] Marcos Lightspeed doesn't exist.

[34:54] It's not like he's a kid that they're going to capture.

[34:55] What is real?

[34:58] No, but I just thought it would be funny

[34:59] if like the producers like,

[35:01] were like solved the problem

[35:03] in the most inappropriate way possible.

[35:07] Whereas like in all of those scenes together,

[35:09] they would just have like a subtitle at the bottom

[35:11] that flashing saying like, don't worry.

[35:13] Though she's too young to like fully understand this

[35:16] about herself yet.

[35:17] She's going to grow up to like girls.

[35:20] So this is okay.

[35:23] Don't worry.

[35:23] You don't have to worry about that thing happening.

[35:24] Back to how they, to how they get their uniforms.

[35:28] Thank you for getting us back on track.

[35:29] Thank you.

[35:30] Ted, Ted is rich.

[35:32] So he has like the, he like-

[35:35] So he has a big roll of money,

[35:36] but where did he get it from?

[35:37] Cause he was a naked baby not long before this.

[35:39] I don't know.

[35:40] Does he like keep it in his tush?

[35:44] Yeah.

[35:44] Does he have to like poop it out?

[35:46] Yeah.

[35:47] Yes, Amy, he does have to poop it out.

[35:51] And he like, he's like pulling bills out

[35:56] and throwing it on the ground.

[35:58] And these kids that went for ACORN from ACORN school,

[36:03] they're picking it up and they go into a bush

[36:05] and you don't know, and then they switch clothes.

[36:10] Tim and Ted walk out wearing the uniforms.

[36:11] Now let's just say this is the ACORN school,

[36:13] not affiliated with ACORN,

[36:14] the former community activism organization.

[36:17] Cool, thank you for saying that.

[36:18] And not affiliated with ACORN TV,

[36:20] bringing you the finest in British language

[36:23] television shows.

[36:24] I do like, I do like the uniform

[36:25] has like a little Elmer Fudd hat.

[36:27] I think that's great.

[36:28] Yes, shaped kind of like an acorn.

[36:30] They really go for that acorn stuff everywhere.

[36:32] It's like a detective's hat.

[36:33] Yes, it's like a big, it's like a big deerstalker cap.

[36:36] So-

[36:37] Like Sherlock Holmes wears.

[36:38] Exactly.

[36:39] Dan, does that pass your-

[36:40] I am very glad that Sammy knows

[36:44] what a deerstalker is by name.

[36:47] Because Dan's a big Sherlock Holmes fan.

[36:50] Sammy is unimpressed by Sherlock Holmes fandom.

[36:53] I don't know why that should be impressive.

[36:56] So-

[36:57] I haven't seen Ready Player One, Dan.

[36:58] The most impressive thing you can be in the world

[37:00] is a fan of something.

[37:01] Oh yeah, yeah.

[37:02] That's the cultural currency.

[37:04] Yeah, it's more important to know

[37:05] about what happens in movies

[37:07] from actually before you were born,

[37:09] but when the writer of the thing was alive.

[37:11] And then to know how to fix a car,

[37:14] dig a well, you know, any of that kind of stuff.

[37:17] Start a fire in the woods.

[37:18] Not as necessary.

[37:19] If you were in the woods

[37:20] and you had the choice between two skill sets,

[37:22] trapping animals and starting a fire,

[37:24] or knowing all the lines to Back to the Future,

[37:26] which one should you pick?

[37:28] Eh, wrong answer.

[37:29] You don't have to pick.

[37:30] You already know all the lines to Back to the Future

[37:32] because you're a genius.

[37:33] But I feel like you'd be some kind of a bard-type figure

[37:36] or a skald where telling the story of Back to the Future

[37:39] would earn you a day's meal and rest

[37:42] from the hardworking people.

[37:44] Very much.

[37:45] I mean, it's essentially the plot of the play, Mr. Burns,

[37:47] in which the retelling of episodes of The Simpsons

[37:50] brings society back together.

[37:52] Oh, back to the movie, Sammy?

[37:53] Okay, so Tim goes to Tabitha's class

[37:56] and he's really impressed by what a good student she is.

[37:59] And the class is more like just a game show.

[38:01] Like Armstrong, the principal,

[38:06] appears on a view screen and just asks them questions

[38:08] in different topics.

[38:09] That's the whole school.

[38:10] And it's like a competition they're competing over.

[38:14] It's like a game show they're competing over who can win.

[38:17] Yes, and there are these two nerds there

[38:19] who are bullying Tabitha.

[38:20] And I had some real John Hodgman flashbacks,

[38:23] I have to admit.

[38:23] One of the nerds, she never talks.

[38:26] Yeah, and so Ted is really impressed by Tabitha.

[38:30] Meanwhile, Ted is stuck in this chaotic

[38:32] rubber room for babies.

[38:33] You mean Tim?

[38:33] No, Tim is in the class.

[38:36] Ted is in the baby room.

[38:37] You said Ted was in the class and Ted was in the baby room.

[38:39] The baby room doesn't even have any grownups in it.

[38:41] It's literally just a padded cell

[38:43] where the babies go wild in.

[38:44] There's no grownups in the school.

[38:45] There's no grownups at all.

[38:46] Because Armstrong doesn't trust grownups, yeah.

[38:47] And there's this tram that takes them there.

[38:51] Yeah.

[38:52] And Ted tries to convince the kids

[38:56] into making this machine,

[38:58] because he sees a window and tries to get into blue.

[39:02] Yeah, so Ted manages to-

[39:04] And Tim wants to go to the principal's office

[39:08] so he can reveal who Armstrong is.

[39:10] Well, they have to go to the principal's office

[39:11] to plant the spy devices, right?

[39:13] And Tim thinks the only way to go to the principal's office

[39:20] is to get into trouble,

[39:21] so he's kicking desks and that kind of stuff.

[39:24] Yeah, and while Ted is organizing the babies

[39:29] to help them escape,

[39:30] Tim is being like a bad boy,

[39:32] and it's all too tricky.

[39:33] I do want to point out that we're supposed to assume

[39:36] that Tim has never been to his daughter's school.

[39:39] He seems shocked at every step of this process.

[39:43] With COVID, I've never been inside

[39:45] my younger son's preschool.

[39:46] Oh, right, I forgot that they mentioned that this was,

[39:48] early on, they mentioned how all the events

[39:50] are taking place during COVID.

[39:52] There's a disclaimer that comes up that says,

[39:55] disclaimer, for plot purposes,

[39:56] when it helps us, this is taking place during COVID.

[39:59] When it doesn't help us,

[40:00] It's like the fact no one's wearing masks, this is not a COVID time.

[40:02] In the beginning of the movie, it says that Tabitha's school is like the best in educational,

[40:07] but at the end of the movie, it seems like it's the worst school.

[40:11] It is, yeah.

[40:12] And also, it's supposed to be an exclusive school, but everyone in town's kids goes there,

[40:15] because all the townspeople we've seen are there at the pageant later on.

[40:18] Okay, so, but Tim, he doesn't get sent to the principal's offices.

[40:23] He gets sent to solitary confinement in a sort of meditation room,

[40:27] where Enya's Sail Away plays all the time.

[40:29] It looked really fun, I would like to go over that.

[40:31] It actually looks really relaxing, yeah.

[40:32] Sail away, sail away, sail away.

[40:34] Yeah, can you sing it, Sammy?

[40:35] Uh, is it stay away, or is it...

[40:38] Sail away, sail away, sail away, do, do, do, do.

[40:42] So, you don't know, Sammy, but before you were born, that song was all over the place.

[40:46] Mm-hmm.

[40:47] And it just plays there, and he just sits there, and it's so relaxing.

[40:52] Everyone who goes there just falls asleep, and I think they call it The Box.

[40:56] They call it The Box.

[40:57] And now, you also don't know, Sammy, because you weren't born yet,

[40:59] that the hardcore answer to Sail Away was,

[41:02] Sail away, you can fly, which was what, those ads for Duars or something?

[41:07] Or it was some of those ads for some...

[41:09] I thought you were going to do Sticks.

[41:10] I thought you were going to go, I'm sailing away.

[41:13] That one.

[41:14] No, no, that's also fairly soft, you know.

[41:16] Yeah.

[41:17] Sail away, sail away.

[41:18] There were a lot of pure moods back then, though.

[41:20] Yep, yep.

[41:21] When you weren't reacting to the timeless pleasures of tubular bells, you were...

[41:25] If you didn't hear DJ Dido's remix of the X-Files theme, then I don't know what you were doing.

[41:29] Sail away, sail away, sail away.

[41:31] If you weren't, you know, a lot of the time I'd just get home from school,

[41:34] throw my books on the couch, and just turn up the,

[41:38] Hey, hey, return to innocence.

[41:43] I mean, there was that brief vogue for chanting that came back.

[41:47] Sail away, sail away.

[41:48] It was huge.

[41:49] Okay, Sammy, that's enough sailing away.

[41:51] So, okay, anyway, Ted escapes and gets to Armstrong's office,

[41:54] but Armstrong is there.

[41:55] He's not out of the office the way he was told he would be.

[41:57] Armstrong reveals almost instantly to Ted that he's actually a baby,

[42:01] wearing a robot adult suit.

[42:03] He eats candy constantly.

[42:04] And his head is the only part that you can really see of his real body.

[42:08] But he wears a wig, right?

[42:09] Yeah.

[42:10] Because he's just a big, bald baby.

[42:11] And you see very early on that he loves candy.

[42:15] Yes, just like the Primus song about how Winona had a big, bald baby.

[42:19] And it seems like he uses candy as, like, weapons.

[42:24] Yeah, he loves candy.

[42:25] At certain points, he's just eating handfuls of sugar out of a bag of sugar.

[42:29] In one part, he's, like, dumping sugar into his mouth.

[42:34] Yeah.

[42:35] And he, like, takes handfuls of, like, gumballs and stuffs them in his mouth.

[42:41] And that's how he ate the Ladybug spy device.

[42:44] The spy device, yeah.

[42:45] Every once in a while, Audrey would make fun of me

[42:47] because she would be sitting next to me on the couch,

[42:49] not particularly watching Boss Baby.

[42:51] Family business.

[42:53] But she would go, oh, you love this movie,

[42:54] because I would giggle at some of this stuff.

[42:57] And I did.

[42:58] This was a gag that I enjoyed.

[43:00] Once it was revealed that he was a baby,

[43:02] just every cut back to him eating other kinds of candy.

[43:06] So I've got a couple of questions here.

[43:07] One is—

[43:08] Okay, lay them on us.

[43:09] So his head is—

[43:11] So this is a segment we do every week that's called BB Q&A.

[43:15] That's Boss Baby Question and Answers, hosted by Stuart Wellington.

[43:18] Thank you.

[43:19] So first question, obviously—

[43:20] And here's the theme song.

[43:21] BB Q&A, not a BBQ, that's a barbecue.

[43:24] It's Boss Baby Q&A, questions and answers about that Boss Baby.

[43:28] And here's that Boss Baby himself, Stuart Wellington.

[43:31] Cool.

[43:32] So the—oh, thanks so much for having me on.

[43:34] He doesn't have yellow hair.

[43:35] You know, I'm glad that I get a little bit of time.

[43:36] Well, you're the host.

[43:37] Yep.

[43:38] I mean, that's the thing.

[43:39] Every moment is precious to me.

[43:41] He's just grateful.

[43:42] So the thing is, is that are we supposed to believe that though he is a baby, he looks like a grown-up old—what I'm—coded as Jewish man?

[43:51] And is this—the second question, is this a commentary that old Jewish men look like babies?

[43:57] Elliot, what do you think?

[43:58] I mean all babies look like older gentlemen.

[44:02] I mean that's the big joke.

[44:03] The big joke is that all babies look like Winston Churchill, who was not Jewish but was a little bald old man.

[44:08] So I think it is maybe a statement on the resemblance of old babies—or not old babies.

[44:15] Old babies are just grown-ups.

[44:16] A statement on the resemblance of young babies to old men because really when you think about it, we're all Benjamin Buttoning.

[44:22] When we become old men, we turn into babies again in the looks of it.

[44:26] That's what that movie was saying, yeah.

[44:27] It's also possible that they—that it's a commentary on Wallace Shawn, who is both an older gentleman and also looks like a baby.

[44:33] So even though he's not playing the part, he could have played the part if Jeff Goldblum had said no.

[44:37] Thankfully for Jeff Goldblum's pocketbook, he said yes.

[44:40] In the movie, it also said—Armstrong also says that when he was at his home, he—his parents would like—would like read him like fancy like books that would like teach you a lot of stuff.

[44:57] He was saying that his—that his parents were very dumb and that he was very—that he was very smart but it seems like that his like—they would like let him check out books but you would think that they were really smart too.

[45:11] One of them was like a scientist.

[45:13] Yeah.

[45:14] So I'm not sure if what they're saying is that his parents made him too smart, that they made him listen to lots of Mozart and they read him smart books.

[45:20] Whether they made him too smart or whether even their level of smartness to him was dumbness because he's such a genius.

[45:27] Uh-huh.

[45:28] And—and like—

[45:30] Because how do you think about—because I know you think you're smarter than me.

[45:33] So is it that I'm smart and you're super smart or I'm dumb and you're regular smart?

[45:36] Did I ever say that?

[45:37] I just can see it in your eyes.

[45:38] I don't think you can.

[45:40] OK.

[45:41] You can't read mine.

[45:42] Try to—try to read what I'm thinking about.

[45:45] Yeah.

[45:46] Are you thinking about—OK.

[45:47] Is it about the Dodgers?

[45:49] No.

[45:50] Is it about hot dogs?

[45:51] No.

[45:52] Is it about Boss Baby?

[45:53] Is it about Boss Baby?

[45:54] No.

[45:55] OK.

[45:56] Is it about—what are other things that you like?

[45:58] Is it about how you're going to eventually replace Ellie?

[46:00] Yeah.

[46:01] Is it how you're going to replace me someday?

[46:02] No.

[46:03] Is it about penguins?

[46:04] No.

[46:05] Is it about scorpions?

[46:06] No.

[46:07] Is it about Legos?

[46:08] No.

[46:09] Is it about chicken nuggets?

[46:10] No.

[46:11] Is it about chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs?

[46:12] No.

[46:13] Is it about—

[46:14] Go-Gurt.

[46:15] Go-Gurt?

[46:16] Yeah.

[46:17] Is it about Go-Gurt?

[46:18] No.

[46:19] Is it about having a—

[46:20] Think.

[46:21] Having a—in your back pocket.

[46:22] What's the thing that Bart Simpson has in his back—a slingshot?

[46:23] Yeah.

[46:24] Is it about having a slingshot in your back pocket?

[46:25] No.

[46:26] I am—

[46:27] Sammy, is it about how pizza is circular but it comes in a box and it comes cut up into

[46:30] triangles?

[46:31] Come on.

[46:32] Just think of things I like.

[46:33] Think about things you like.

[46:34] Is it about pizza?

[46:35] No.

[46:36] Is it—

[46:37] That's another P thing.

[46:38] OK.

[46:39] Is it about Cars 3?

[46:40] That's C, not P.

[46:41] Oh, wait.

[46:42] So it starts with P?

[46:43] Yes.

[46:44] I said penguins.

[46:45] Yeah.

[46:46] Another P thing.

[46:47] Port-a-potties?

[46:48] No!

[46:49] Popsicles?

[46:50] Parasols.

[46:51] It's another P-O thing.

[46:52] OK.

[46:53] Paul Proudhon?

[46:54] No.

[46:55] That's my favorite.

[46:56] Should I just tell you?

[46:57] Politics?

[46:58] Yeah.

[46:59] No!

[47:00] Portia de Rossi?

[47:01] P-O-K-I-E.

[47:02] Pokey?

[47:03] P-O-K-I-E.

[47:04] M-O-N.

[47:05] Oh, Pokemon.

[47:06] I know that you spelled Pokemon a little off, but that's OK.

[47:07] I should have guessed.

[47:08] I should have guessed you were thinking about Pokemon.

[47:09] Considering Sammy and his friends were playing Hangman yesterday, I'm going to say Pokemon.

[47:10] Sammy's favorite Pokemon character.

[47:11] Hey!

[47:12] Guess what I was thinking about.

[47:13] Yeah.

[47:14] Jolteon.

[47:15] Oh, it was about Jolteon.

[47:16] OK.

[47:17] Right.

[47:18] Jolteon.

[47:19] So there you have it.

[47:20] I can read minds.

[47:21] You can read minds.

[47:22] Proof I can read minds.

[47:23] In a million guesses.

[47:24] If I have a million guesses and I know that it's about Jolteon, then I can read minds.

[47:25] So he recruits – so Armstrong recruits Ted to join him, but Ted – he says he's going

[47:26] to join him, but he gets a message out to Tina.

[47:27] Ted and Tim have an argument.

[47:34] Armstrong recruits Ted to join him, but Ted – he says he's going to join him, but

[47:37] he gets a message out to Tina.

[47:40] They don't want to work together anymore.

[47:42] And Tim sees Tabitha getting yelled at by the other kids at the holiday pageant rehearsal.

[47:46] Now here's the thing.

[47:47] And he finds that the mean kid, whose name is Nathan – I have it in my notes – he's

[47:51] setting Tabitha up to fail.

[47:52] Tabitha has a song solo, but she can't sing that well, so he's setting her up to fail.

[47:55] Oh, wait.

[47:56] No.

[47:57] The kid that's also one of the bullies, who's like a present, who's playing the

[48:00] piano, is like, hey, can I sing?

[48:05] Can I sing?

[48:06] And Nathan's like, no, I want to see her fail.

[48:10] Yeah, he wants her to fail in front of –

[48:11] I understand that.

[48:12] And he rubs his hands.

[48:13] Now listeners from the last episode where we watched the movie Space Jam know that I'm

[48:16] not a fan of scenes where a child is being yelled at and the parent stands by and does

[48:23] nothing.

[48:24] In this case, I'm going to give Tim a pass because he is in the body of a kid.

[48:28] And how would Tabitha know that he was her dad?

[48:33] Exactly.

[48:34] But he kind of does step in to help her out, right?

[48:37] How?

[48:38] I don't remember.

[48:39] Oh, yeah.

[48:40] At the house, he tells her about how to imagine music notes and to sing better.

[48:45] Well, that's a little later.

[48:46] But yeah, he helps her out.

[48:47] So anyway, Tim talks his way into going to his own house for dinner, where they think

[48:51] he is this kid, Marcos Lightspeed.

[48:54] Ted finds Armstrong's secret research and development lab.

[48:56] No, wait.

[48:57] His parents are there and they think he's Tim.

[48:59] But then they're like, hey, Tim doesn't wear glasses.

[49:02] Yeah.

[49:03] The parents were played by Jimmy Kimmel and Lisa Kudrow.

[49:05] Classic Clark Kent Superman situation.

[49:07] Lisa Kudrow who plays Honey in Housebroken.

[49:10] Thank you.

[49:11] Yes, Housebroken.

[49:12] Fox, Monday nights at 9 featuring me on the writing staff.

[49:14] Thank you.

[49:15] Wow.

[49:16] Good work, Sammy.

[49:17] Good.

[49:18] Nice synergy there, Sammy.

[49:19] I appreciate that.

[49:20] Sammy believes in ABC, always be calling out things that are marginally related to what

[49:25] you're talking about at the moment.

[49:26] I think that's more than those.

[49:28] What?

[49:29] I think that's more than just ABC.

[49:32] Yeah, that's again.

[49:34] Yeah, that's the joke because it's more letters.

[49:36] I'll tell you later.

[49:37] OK, anyway, so Sammy hasn't fully finished his trip to comedy college yet.

[49:42] So I haven't been to college.

[49:44] You what?

[49:45] I haven't been to college.

[49:46] What?

[49:47] Exactly.

[49:48] Yeah.

[49:49] It turned out Sammy said he got a job under the false pretenses that he had a college

[49:52] degree, but he ended up having to admit it.

[49:54] He did?

[49:55] Yeah.

[49:56] Where did you say you went to college?

[49:57] Uh, nowhere.

[49:58] Play along with the...

[50:00] More, more, yes anding.

[50:02] Sammy's thinking hard now.

[50:04] There's only, wait, which...

[50:06] You say you went to, say you went to Dartmouth.

[50:08] What's that place?

[50:10] It's a college.

[50:12] NYU.

[50:14] I went to NYU. NYU.

[50:16] Oh, you said you went to NYU, that's right.

[50:18] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[50:20] Oh, that's sweet. Oh, my alma mater.

[50:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[50:24] My alma, Hitchcock.

[50:26] His fake alma mater now, shoo.

[50:28] The other place Sammy was thinking of was UCLA

[50:30] because he saw it on a license plate the other day.

[50:32] I base a lot of my decisions on that, yeah.

[50:34] You know, choose a college.

[50:36] You say, universe, tell me where to go.

[50:38] And then a car drives by and you go,

[50:40] I'll go to Angeline School.

[50:42] A technical college?

[50:44] Well, I had no interest in

[50:46] VCR repair, but...

[50:48] All right, car, I'll do it.

[50:50] So, the...

[50:52] So, Ted finds this laboratory

[50:54] that he gets...

[50:56] A word.

[50:58] A word that starts with U? Unicorn.

[51:00] UCLA stands for

[51:02] Unicorn California

[51:04] Laugh Academy.

[51:06] I love it. That's great.

[51:08] So that's where Sammy's going.

[51:10] He's going to major in yuck yucks.

[51:12] What was the whoopsie for?

[51:14] This.

[51:16] Oh, that's fine. Here, don't play with that.

[51:18] It's broken. I was playing with that earlier.

[51:20] Yeah, please don't peel splinters out of the wood of the table.

[51:22] My foot bumped it and there's one on the ground.

[51:24] Well, here, don't worry about it.

[51:26] So Armstrong, he...

[51:28] He has a lab that's secured

[51:30] by baby ninjas that...

[51:32] That chase Ted, but

[51:34] Armstrong saves him from the ninjas.

[51:36] It's never really clear, are these ninjas

[51:38] that got turned into babies, or they're babies

[51:40] that were trained to be ninjas? Because let me just break it to you guys.

[51:42] Babies do not have the coordination necessary

[51:44] to be ninjas.

[51:46] And you'll see in this scene that...

[51:48] That...

[51:50] That he is teaching...

[51:52] That Armstrong is teaching babies

[51:54] how to, like, code. And he makes...

[51:56] And he... And they create apps.

[51:58] And there seems to be this one app

[52:00] that they created that Ted loves.

[52:02] Yes. It's like a...

[52:04] Oh, yeah, it's called... What is it called? It's like a business game app or something?

[52:06] Or a stock trading app? Yeah, Stock Crush, I think it's called.

[52:08] Yeah, and the one that he makes at the end

[52:10] that he says will change the world

[52:12] is called Cutie Snap.

[52:14] Yep, and it's like an Instagram-type app.

[52:16] So as with Space Jam A New Legacy, this is a movie

[52:18] for kids that has a fair amount to do with

[52:20] the new digital economy.

[52:22] But it does something that...

[52:24] But it does something that will...

[52:26] But the app does something that will reveal,

[52:28] I will say at the end.

[52:30] Yes. So Tim learns that Tabitha is nervous

[52:32] about her pageant because she's just not as good

[52:34] at being creative as her dad,

[52:36] who she really looks up to that way.

[52:38] And he is touched by it.

[52:40] We learn Armstrong's origin story.

[52:42] His parents made him too smart.

[52:44] And now he wants to teach kids around the world

[52:46] to say no to their parents and start what he calls B-Day,

[52:48] which is a celebration against parents.

[52:50] Yeah, Daddy remembers places all around the world.

[52:52] Yes.

[52:54] And he's teaching the babies.

[52:56] He says something about parents

[52:58] and he and the baby say,

[53:00] No!

[53:02] In their own languages, yeah.

[53:04] All around the world.

[53:06] Around the world, around the world,

[53:08] around the world, etc.

[53:10] The song's just that over and over again,

[53:12] but it's still a catchy song.

[53:14] So Tim learns that his family finds him

[53:16] unreliable, basically,

[53:18] but that Ted always looked up to him.

[53:20] He forgot about that. They were best friends as kids.

[53:22] And he's doing this while he's undercover, right?

[53:24] And his parents, he's worried that his

[53:26] actual parents are going to figure out

[53:28] that he is a shrunk-down version

[53:30] of their son, which is

[53:32] interesting.

[53:34] But he has glasses.

[53:36] He does have glasses, so he does have a bit of a disguise.

[53:38] But I feel like it would take

[53:40] a couple more leaps for them to be,

[53:42] to figure out what is actually happening.

[53:44] I think it's strange that

[53:46] when he shrinks,

[53:48] it's strange that he still has glasses

[53:50] because he didn't when he was younger.

[53:52] Yeah, he should have his young eyes, right?

[53:54] But if he had glasses, it should have been

[53:56] light blue because that's the color that he has.

[53:58] It shouldn't have been black.

[54:00] Oh, sounds like Sammy found a goof

[54:02] that someone should put up on the IMDb page

[54:04] for this movie. Good work,

[54:06] Goof Finder. That's right,

[54:08] Goof Finder General.

[54:10] Starring Vincent Price.

[54:12] But it's true.

[54:14] So let's say I am an old man

[54:16] someday, God willing.

[54:18] And you have light blue glasses.

[54:20] And I have light blue glasses, and I go to

[54:22] Sammy's house

[54:24] for dinner, and there's a kid

[54:26] there who looks just like Sammy.

[54:28] My first instinct will be, hey, that's weird that that kid looks

[54:30] just like Sammy, not

[54:32] my son has de-aged back

[54:34] to being a child.

[54:36] Well, yes.

[54:38] But what if it looked exactly

[54:40] like Sammy? Because the thing is, with Superman

[54:42] and Clark Kent, he wears glasses, but it's not like

[54:44] people would be like, oh, he looks like

[54:46] a kid of Superman. That's weird.

[54:48] Oh, he must be Superman. They're the same age.

[54:50] Maybe in the hands of

[54:52] horror maestro M. Night Shyamalan,

[54:54] maybe you would have

[54:56] quite a scary premise.

[54:58] Although now it

[55:00] makes me think that Superman, when he's Clark Kent,

[55:02] he should also brush just for men, touch a gray

[55:04] into his hair, just to look a little older.

[55:06] But when he's having dinner

[55:08] at his house,

[55:10] Sammy put his in quotes,

[55:12] his parents say something,

[55:14] it's called, what is it called,

[55:16] Tim Time, and

[55:18] he says

[55:20] no because he's pretending to be a kid,

[55:22] but he really has to know because he is Tim.

[55:24] Well, this is something, what they're saying

[55:26] is that since he's always late to things,

[55:28] they call it Tim Time, and they

[55:30] say this behind his back. It's not something that

[55:32] he knew people said about him.

[55:34] The same way that nobody knows that we call you Slimy

[55:36] Sammy because you're always covered in slime.

[55:38] Now the whole world knows.

[55:40] I'm not. Don't edit this out.

[55:42] Let me feel. Hold on.

[55:44] Slime free. You're right. It was just a goof.

[55:46] Yeah, it's true. He's not covered in slime.

[55:48] You learn about that stuff when you major in yuck yucks.

[55:50] I don't know. At Unicorn California Laugh Academy.

[55:52] I don't trust it because if his hand is covered in slime,

[55:54] it'll feel like his, he won't tell

[55:56] the difference whether it's slimy or not slimy.

[55:58] You're saying if the natural state

[56:00] is slime, then you can't.

[56:02] I don't know about that.

[56:04] Dan, I really need you to back me up on this one.

[56:06] Okay, I'll back you up on it.

[56:08] This is the part in the movie

[56:10] where

[56:12] he also...

[56:14] Thank you, Sammy.

[56:16] Back to the movie.

[56:18] Right after this, the young

[56:20] version of Tim, the disguised

[56:22] Lightspeed

[56:24] or whatever his name is,

[56:26] is like

[56:28] helping Tabitha learn how to sing

[56:30] by playing a guitar and they

[56:32] go through a visualization

[56:34] of musical

[56:36] notes.

[56:38] While singing Cat Stevens songs.

[56:40] Back to his first

[56:42] day at the school.

[56:46] A joke I don't

[56:48] get is the mean kid, Nathan.

[56:50] He says,

[56:52] Marco Slicebee,

[56:54] he's not that fast.

[56:56] But he

[56:58] answered the question wrong,

[57:00] but he was fast.

[57:02] They all raised their hands because they all

[57:04] knew and he didn't know, so he raised his

[57:06] hand just in case because he thought

[57:08] he would blend in. But he got it wrong,

[57:10] but he still was fast.

[57:12] I think Nathan's saying that his thinking was not that

[57:14] fast. But also, Nathan's not

[57:16] very good at being a bully.

[57:18] Being kind of a brainiac

[57:20] nerd. So I think maybe he's just not good at it.

[57:22] Also, you say he's a nerd.

[57:24] Later,

[57:26] he gets a chance to answer a question, but he gets

[57:28] it wrong.

[57:30] I'm horrible proof of that. I get things wrong

[57:32] all the time.

[57:34] I just

[57:36] wanted to say that

[57:38] Sammy making a reference to the fact

[57:40] that I have a form of colorblindness that makes it

[57:42] hard for me to tell certain shades apart.

[57:44] That's pretty funny.

[57:46] You learn new things about

[57:48] your old friends every day.

[57:50] All the time.

[57:52] So, Dan, you were going to talk about this abstract music

[57:54] video that they find themselves in.

[57:56] Look, I know that this is

[57:58] a movie for children,

[58:00] and it's a movie about

[58:02] boss babies, so to get

[58:04] too annoyed at any

[58:06] inaccuracies is perhaps

[58:08] a fool's errand. But I did

[58:10] watch this thinking, no matter what

[58:12] the music man tells you, you can't

[58:14] learn how to do music via the

[58:16] think system.

[58:18] You can't actually tell

[58:20] somebody, just feel the music, and suddenly

[58:22] they're great at singing and playing guitar.

[58:24] If they don't have a good sense of

[58:26] tone, then that's not going to disappear.

[58:28] I think it's strange. They could have done it

[58:30] earlier, and they should

[58:32] have known. His family peeks

[58:34] in the crack of the

[58:36] door that's open, and

[58:38] his dad takes a picture.

[58:40] Because he's always taking pictures.

[58:42] But yeah, I agree. Dan, it is a

[58:44] weird thing to nitpick

[58:46] in a movie where...

[58:48] Using an app called Cutie Snap,

[58:50] which, again, sounds like an app that

[58:52] old guys would use taking pictures of kids.

[58:54] No, Cutie Snap

[58:56] is later. Here, Sammy.

[58:58] I think he uses it there, too. But Dan,

[59:00] you're right that in a movie where... Nobody doesn't get hypnotized.

[59:02] In a movie where there's... Because that happens later.

[59:04] In a movie where there's a

[59:06] magic corporation run by babies,

[59:08] it does seem a little weird to nitpick that you

[59:10] can't learn how to sing that easily, but

[59:12] maybe he's just tapping into her

[59:14] inborn talent. We nitpick the thing.

[59:16] I will accept the crazy thing,

[59:18] because I know that that's what the movie's about.

[59:20] Or the outlandish thing, rather.

[59:22] But I don't

[59:24] think that... But if you're

[59:26] familiar with something from your

[59:28] life, and then the movie adds that

[59:30] on and does it weird,

[59:32] it's kind of like, okay, movie.

[59:34] This is... It's not

[59:36] the

[59:38] tiny pony breaking into

[59:40] a sail away

[59:42] isolation pod

[59:44] that bothers me.

[59:46] You're saying that like

[59:48] Alfred Hitchcock would say,

[59:50] you have to get the mundane details right

[59:52] so that the impossible details

[59:54] don't feel fake.

[59:56] That makes sense.

[59:58] Let's fill in the gaps.

[1:00:00] Let's try it. Dan, you try to teach me to sing.

[1:00:01] As everyone knows, I can already sing beautifully,

[1:00:03] but I'll pretend I can't sing.

[1:00:04] Try to teach me to sing

[1:00:05] just by kind of feeling the music, okay?

[1:00:07] Okay, so, Elliot, think of your favorite song.

[1:00:12] Okay, yeah.

[1:00:13] Might as well be Walking on the Sun, got it.

[1:00:15] What? No, that's not your favorite song.

[1:00:17] By Smash Mouth.

[1:00:18] Visualize the notes as sort of just like

[1:00:20] big, bright colors on a staff.

[1:00:24] Okay, yeah, got it.

[1:00:25] Okay, big, bright notes,

[1:00:26] and they're all wearing sunglasses

[1:00:28] like the guy from Smash Mouth.

[1:00:30] Visualize yourself as the man from Smash Mouth.

[1:00:33] You got it, I'm doing it wearing a big bowling shirt, okay.

[1:00:36] Now sing, sing your heart out.

[1:00:38] You might as well be walking on the sun.

[1:00:41] Beep, boop, beep, boop, boop, boop, boop.

[1:00:44] Does he sing that part?

[1:00:45] Yes, I was wrong.

[1:00:47] Looks like Boss Baby Family Business

[1:00:49] knows what it's talking about.

[1:00:51] Okay, so, long story short,

[1:00:55] Tina gives Ted a letter that Tim wrote as a kid

[1:00:58] about how they'd always be together forever,

[1:01:01] and Tina, in order to get them to spend more time together,

[1:01:04] pretends that Baby Corp

[1:01:06] is not going to do anything to stop Anderson,

[1:01:08] so they're gonna have to do it themselves,

[1:01:09] working together as brothers.

[1:01:11] At Armstrong.

[1:01:13] What? Armstrong.

[1:01:14] Yeah, yeah, what'd I say?

[1:01:15] You said Anderson.

[1:01:16] Oh, I was thinking of Pea Soup Anderson,

[1:01:17] the restaurant that you drive by in California

[1:01:20] on the highway, but they only serve pea soup.

[1:01:22] That makes sense.

[1:01:23] Yeah, yeah.

[1:01:24] Never gone there.

[1:01:25] We've never gone there, we've driven by,

[1:01:26] it's got a big windmill,

[1:01:27] and we know they serve pea soup,

[1:01:28] because it's in the name.

[1:01:29] It's huge.

[1:01:30] Yeah.

[1:01:31] Maybe that's a misdirect, though.

[1:01:31] Maybe that's just to get you through the door,

[1:01:33] and then when you're disappointed,

[1:01:34] they offer you all their other wares.

[1:01:36] In the gap between Los Angeles and San Francisco.

[1:01:42] Yeah, so you're saying you walk in there,

[1:01:44] and you go, I'll have some of your famous pea soup,

[1:01:46] as mentioned in the name, the titular pea soup,

[1:01:48] and they go, oh, I'm so sorry,

[1:01:50] we're out of the pea soup today,

[1:01:52] but perhaps I could interest you in some of the,

[1:01:54] and it's like some sort of a fancy scallop dish,

[1:01:56] or a lobster, or something more expensive.

[1:01:58] What if he says,

[1:02:00] what if there's like different kinds of pea soup,

[1:02:02] and you're like, can I have some pea soup?

[1:02:05] And he's like, what kind of pea soup?

[1:02:09] What kind of pea soup?

[1:02:10] And you say, I want pea soup.

[1:02:12] And then he says, what kind?

[1:02:15] And then he says, is he gonna give me the options,

[1:02:17] or do I have to guess?

[1:02:19] He gives you the options, and you're like,

[1:02:22] and then he's like, pea soup, pea soup with croutons,

[1:02:27] pea soup with peas.

[1:02:30] So pea soup with peas would be what?

[1:02:31] With carrots.

[1:02:32] Would it be pea soup with whole peas just thrown into it?

[1:02:34] Yeah, it's sort of like a crunchy peanut butter pea soup.

[1:02:37] So really, it's just, so really, it's just,

[1:02:39] so really the only pea soup is a pea soup with peas.

[1:02:43] It's the only flavor, so regular,

[1:02:46] so it's really just regular flavored broth.

[1:02:50] Okay.

[1:02:51] But they call it pea soup.

[1:02:53] Okay.

[1:02:54] But it's really only pea soup with the pea soup with peas.

[1:02:57] Oh, I see, so if you don't get it with peas,

[1:02:59] it's not pea soup.

[1:02:59] Yeah. Okay.

[1:03:00] So there's pea soup with carrots, pea soup with celery.

[1:03:03] Okay.

[1:03:04] Speaking of soup, what soup are you,

[1:03:07] are sipping on there, Stuart?

[1:03:08] Oh, what's that you got there, Stuart?

[1:03:09] Oh, it's a big, it's a big container of pea soup,

[1:03:12] pea soup with croutons.

[1:03:13] Is that still technically pea soup, Sammy?

[1:03:16] What am I drinking right now?

[1:03:19] It looks like you're drinking Jell-O.

[1:03:22] It does look like I'm drinking Jell-O

[1:03:23] because that's actually what I'm drinking.

[1:03:25] I took some Jell-O, I made it into a liquid again,

[1:03:29] poured a bunch of vodka on it,

[1:03:30] and I'm just trying to get through this podcast.

[1:03:32] You know, that's the thing.

[1:03:34] Sammy has a shocked look on his face.

[1:03:37] Yeah, and that was, so that was another,

[1:03:39] that was another regular segment.

[1:03:40] Soup Stu, that's where Stu tells us

[1:03:42] what soup he's drinking right now.

[1:03:44] So back to the movie,

[1:03:46] they have to stop Armstrong at the pageant,

[1:03:48] this big winter pageant we've been hearing about

[1:03:50] before the kid formula wears off.

[1:03:53] And then they, and they find,

[1:03:55] and baby Tina tells them that,

[1:03:58] that there's a main switch that can like turn the power off

[1:04:02] so it can like stop the hypnotizing.

[1:04:07] And there's a, when she's singing,

[1:04:09] she keeps her eyes closed, but she's,

[1:04:11] if she keeps them open,

[1:04:12] she'll notice that they're all getting hypnotized.

[1:04:14] Well, we haven't even talked about the hypnosis yet.

[1:04:16] So, okay, every, at pageant time-

[1:04:19] I wanna talk more about the main switch.

[1:04:21] Wait, wait, we're going to,

[1:04:21] so the main switch will shut off.

[1:04:22] I wanna tell them about the main switch.

[1:04:24] Okay, when we get to the main switch,

[1:04:25] you can tell them about it.

[1:04:26] You really take it with a switch, huh?

[1:04:28] I know you're excited about this switch

[1:04:29] and how main it is.

[1:04:30] Because-

[1:04:31] Wait, wait, so everyone is at the pageant

[1:04:33] and Armstrong reveals to Ted that today is B-Day

[1:04:37] and his app, Cutie Snaps, is actually a hypnosis app.

[1:04:41] And once you take a picture with it,

[1:04:42] it hypnotizes the parents, uh-oh,

[1:04:45] and he tries to shut off the main switch, right?

[1:04:49] They go back to the back of the stage and-

[1:04:54] The backstage?

[1:04:55] Yeah, backstage.

[1:04:56] And Tina tells them that, baby Tina tells them

[1:05:00] that there is a main switch that can turn the power off.

[1:05:04] And they flip the, and they're fighting over-

[1:05:10] Tim is supposed to turn it off,

[1:05:11] but he's like, oh no, it's Tabitha's turn to sing.

[1:05:13] I can't miss that.

[1:05:14] And Ted, he sneaks backstage by way of

[1:05:17] pretending to be Jesus in the manger at an attendance.

[1:05:20] That's your God, idiots.

[1:05:21] So it's like a Jesus play, it's like a Jesus play that's on.

[1:05:24] Tabitha is an angel that's, who is singing.

[1:05:27] And there's this doll that's pretending

[1:05:30] to be Jesus in the cradle.

[1:05:31] I mean, I know the doll is pretending to be Jesus.

[1:05:33] But it is Jesus.

[1:05:34] It's a prop, it's a prop that's representing

[1:05:37] the baby Jesus.

[1:05:38] It's ironic, because they've got a lot of babies

[1:05:39] at the school.

[1:05:40] They can just stick one in there.

[1:05:41] What is real?

[1:05:43] And Ted throws off the baby's,

[1:05:47] he throws the baby out,

[1:05:50] and somehow he gets this like gold wraps,

[1:05:54] and he puts it around himself.

[1:05:56] And then instantly, like a second later,

[1:05:59] he takes them off and runs back to stage.

[1:06:02] So there's no, he pretends to be baby Jesus

[1:06:05] for that second.

[1:06:06] Yeah, but it would have been more surreptitious

[1:06:08] if he did not get on stage,

[1:06:10] become the star of the show for a moment,

[1:06:11] and then run backstage.

[1:06:12] I'm on Tim's side, because when they flip the switch,

[1:06:18] they get trapped by the ninja babies.

[1:06:22] Yeah.

[1:06:23] And Armstrong comes in and reveals

[1:06:25] that it's just like a paper.

[1:06:27] It's just like paper that says main on it.

[1:06:31] But he throws the paper off,

[1:06:33] and it says trap underneath.

[1:06:34] Yeah, so he actually, it was a trap the whole time.

[1:06:38] And Armstrong has now trapped Ted and Tim.

[1:06:41] And they're still arguing with each other.

[1:06:42] Uh-oh, they get put in the box where the Enya song plays,

[1:06:45] and it starts flooding.

[1:06:46] That's right, we're going to see a child

[1:06:48] and a baby drown to death in this movie.

[1:06:50] If Armstrong's plan come true.

[1:06:52] Thank you, yes, the Sail Away song.

[1:06:54] Can I, can I, can I talk about that?

[1:06:57] Sammy's discovered his I'm blue.

[1:06:58] And now Stuart, yes?

[1:07:00] So while this is going on,

[1:07:01] Tabitha is singing her solo.

[1:07:03] And one of my favorite things is going on.

[1:07:06] She's scanning the audience for her dad.

[1:07:08] And I swear there must be a guy

[1:07:10] who runs lights at these events,

[1:07:12] who's like, put spotlights on all the empty seats

[1:07:15] so kids can see when their absent fathers are not there.

[1:07:19] Like, you know that's a thing that people are like,

[1:07:21] this is going to be hilarious.

[1:07:23] And all the seats are black.

[1:07:24] And it's like, and it's like, they're all black.

[1:07:27] But like, you don't even see,

[1:07:29] when Tabitha opens her eyes and her song is done,

[1:07:32] she's like looking into the crowd

[1:07:34] to see her parents like clapping.

[1:07:36] But she notices the crowd is all black.

[1:07:39] It's all black.

[1:07:40] It's all dark.

[1:07:40] They should, there should be the little purple dots

[1:07:43] for the hypnosis eyes.

[1:07:45] Yes, very true.

[1:07:46] Because they're all using, they're all using cuties.

[1:07:48] She sings beautifully like an angel,

[1:07:49] like the angel she is perched on top of a Christmas tree.

[1:07:52] Not a safe place for a kid to be standing.

[1:07:54] The Christmas tree looks to be about 50 feet tall.

[1:07:56] Nor is she singing a Christmas song.

[1:07:57] It's just like a weird like friendship song.

[1:08:00] It's a song about working together and being together.

[1:08:02] And united we stand, divided we'll fall

[1:08:04] and united we stand.

[1:08:05] Or something like that.

[1:08:06] At least, at least there's.

[1:08:07] Yeah, then she puts a MAGA hat on and she's like,

[1:08:08] yeah, well the right people need to stay united.

[1:08:10] I was like, whoa, boss baby.

[1:08:11] At least there's a very thin ladder.

[1:08:13] Yeah, there's a very thin ladder.

[1:08:14] True, good point.

[1:08:16] At least there was an incredibly narrow, dangerous ladder.

[1:08:18] And it's like, she gets sad at the end of the song.

[1:08:21] So she climbs down.

[1:08:22] It's like she would climb.

[1:08:24] It seems like in the movie she would only climb down

[1:08:26] because she's sad, but she would normally do that.

[1:08:29] Yeah, she would have to climb down anyway.

[1:08:30] She doesn't live on top of that Christmas tree.

[1:08:31] And this is the moment in the movie

[1:08:33] that I had to clean my glasses

[1:08:35] and then I realized with horror

[1:08:37] that Audrey would think I was crying at this song.

[1:08:40] And she did, she asked for it.

[1:08:44] Then suddenly, this isn't real,

[1:08:47] but what if she was standing on there suddenly

[1:08:50] and she was staying on top of there,

[1:08:52] suddenly a house fell from the sky?

[1:08:54] Wait, why would that happen?

[1:08:55] Yeah, what if that did happen?

[1:08:57] It's crazy because that would be her house

[1:08:59] if she lived on top of there.

[1:09:00] That's a good point.

[1:09:01] If she lived there, she'd be home already.

[1:09:03] She would need a house.

[1:09:05] Yeah, and if she had a house,

[1:09:08] I mean, they could lift up her house for the song there.

[1:09:11] Uh-huh.

[1:09:12] And then when her song was done,

[1:09:14] they would just drop the house on her.

[1:09:16] And one of the walls could crush her, actually.

[1:09:18] Oof, that would be terrible.

[1:09:19] Why would that happen?

[1:09:20] And then only a circle of it survives

[1:09:24] because it's a very small circle at the top.

[1:09:28] Yeah.

[1:09:28] So it just crumbles down.

[1:09:30] Okay, interesting.

[1:09:31] The rest would fall to the ground

[1:09:32] The rest would fall to the ground

[1:09:33] because the tree can only hold up so much.

[1:09:35] Okay, well, that's the way the movie ends.

[1:09:37] It can't just hold up.

[1:09:38] It's very small.

[1:09:40] So it was supported by the other half,

[1:09:44] but the middle of it couldn't handle the whole outside.

[1:09:48] I think you're gonna need to draw me a diagram

[1:09:49] so I can have trouble visualizing it.

[1:09:50] Yeah, very Franklin Lloyd Wright over here.

[1:09:52] Franklin Lloyd Wright?

[1:09:53] Yeah.

[1:09:54] Isn't that his name?

[1:09:55] The dude who did the falling water house?

[1:09:57] Yeah, just, I think he would say

[1:10:00] Frank. It's going to be Frank Lloyd Wright.

[1:10:02] Not Frank. Oh, whatever. I don't care. He's not going to be listening to this.

[1:10:06] No, he's not. That's very true.

[1:10:10] No, no.

[1:10:11] I'm safe.

[1:10:12] So all the adults are hypnotized.

[1:10:14] It's never clear if Armstrong, his real name is Armstrong, if his first name is Armstrong or last name is Armstrong.

[1:10:20] No, his name is like Erwin Armstrong or something like that.

[1:10:23] Nah. I don't think it is that. I think they just call him Armstrong.

[1:10:26] Okay.

[1:10:27] Principal Armstrong.

[1:10:28] I mean, according to Wikipedia, his name is Dr. Erwin Armstrong.

[1:10:31] Oh, wow.

[1:10:32] You got roasted, Sammy.

[1:10:34] You messed with the best.

[1:10:35] Sammy didn't cross his T's and dive his I's.

[1:10:37] Got to check it. Check it before you wreck it, Sammy.

[1:10:41] Anyway. Oh, don't feel bad. It's okay.

[1:10:43] It's fine.

[1:10:44] Okay, great.

[1:10:45] It's fine.

[1:10:46] So the adults are all hypnotized.

[1:10:47] Tim and Ted are in the box.

[1:10:49] Luckily, Tabitha's finished her song, but she's crushed because her dad is not there.

[1:10:53] As Stuart mentions, a spotlight has been cast on the one empty seat where her dad should be.

[1:10:57] And then it flashes to the front of the school where – oh, yeah, back to the box.

[1:11:05] Back to the box.

[1:11:06] Wait.

[1:11:07] Tim blames himself, and Ted says, no, you're a great dad, and I'm lonely without a family.

[1:11:11] And they apologize to each other for not being there for each other.

[1:11:13] And then they fall underwater, and then does Ted whistle underwater?

[1:11:20] Ted whistles underwater, I think.

[1:11:22] And Precious comes and breaks all – so it's like glass that separates the colors.

[1:11:28] And for, like, the first three, there's, like, trams that go.

[1:11:32] And Precious runs through them and breaks all the glass.

[1:11:36] Yeah, Precious bursts through the front of the school and kicks them out of the box, saving their lives.

[1:11:41] Meanwhile, Armstrong has declared it's B-Day.

[1:11:44] He's danced to Push It on stage as his true self, a little bald baby, not in his adult…

[1:11:49] And the parents are all following him because they are hypnotized.

[1:11:52] Yeah, so he demands they give a standing ovation to Tabitha.

[1:11:55] Tina reveals the truth about baby cord at Tabitha, and they plan to go overheat the school's servers, which are inside the giant acorn in the atrium, of course.

[1:12:04] And then they have a big fight.

[1:12:06] They have a big fight that Ted –

[1:12:08] And Tina is in Armstrong's other suit.

[1:12:13] Tina has taken over Armstrong's other robot body.

[1:12:16] And they say they're going to meet at the acorn.

[1:12:21] And so Tim and Ted go over to the acorn, too, because they have to meet there.

[1:12:26] But Armstrong's at the bottom and uses these lollipops.

[1:12:30] He licks them and then throws them at them.

[1:12:32] Licks them and sticks them.

[1:12:33] Yeah.

[1:12:34] Tim and Ted are almost entirely useless in the climax of this movie as it becomes a Tina-Tabitha team-up, a T-T-T-up.

[1:12:41] That's right.

[1:12:43] And then he climbs up, and it's strange because to open the acorn, they need the hand from the suit.

[1:12:50] Well, here's – OK.

[1:12:51] This is something I brought up with Sam when we were watching it.

[1:12:53] To get into the acorn, where the controls are that control all of Armstrong's evil plot, there's a handprint identification thing.

[1:13:00] Then you need the hand from the suit.

[1:13:02] You need the hand from the suit.

[1:13:03] And there's two suits, and they're both right in the suit.

[1:13:06] So Tabitha's over there closer to the door.

[1:13:10] Right in front of her is the door, and Tina pops off on the hands, tosses it over to Tabitha.

[1:13:19] Tabitha puts it on, and then the door opens.

[1:13:22] So if you had a handprint analyzer, wouldn't you want to use your real handprint that nobody else has rather than a robot handprint that you have a spare version of?

[1:13:30] When you're a mecha pilot, Elliot, is that it's tough to know where the pilot ends and the mecha begins.

[1:13:35] Also, everyone – I have a good point.

[1:13:37] Because man and machine meld together.

[1:13:39] I have a good point.

[1:13:40] Oh, you're going to declare that's a good point.

[1:13:42] I have a good point, Daddy.

[1:13:43] I have a good point.

[1:13:44] When would he go – the only time that –

[1:13:46] I didn't know I could do that.

[1:13:47] There's nighttime because everyone would see him.

[1:13:49] Yeah, during the school day, it would be hard for the principal of the school to climb like a monkey up a tree and then get into a secret laboratory at the top of a giant acorn.

[1:13:57] Without arousing suspicion.

[1:13:58] And reveal he's a baby.

[1:13:59] And reveal he's a baby, true.

[1:14:01] But Stuart makes a good point.

[1:14:02] When you're a mech pilot, the mech is an extension of yourself.

[1:14:05] Yeah, not to evangelize evangelion, but –

[1:14:10] And they go into there and Tabitha keeps about to be turning it off, but then Armstrong is like crushing the control panel.

[1:14:21] Yeah, and Armstrong has so many one-liners at this point and so many puns.

[1:14:24] Yeah.

[1:14:25] It's just – and finally they're able to destroy – the time is up.

[1:14:28] The formula starts wearing off of Tim and Ted.

[1:14:30] They start de-aging.

[1:14:32] They start aging again.

[1:14:33] Tina and Tabitha, they finally destroy the servers by –

[1:14:35] And Ted's baby suit, it stays its size.

[1:14:42] Tim's.

[1:14:43] Ted's.

[1:14:44] Tim's because Ted is the blonde baby.

[1:14:45] Yeah, I know.

[1:14:46] I'm talking about Ted.

[1:14:47] Oh, his suit stays the same size.

[1:14:48] Ted stays the same size as Ted gets bigger, and it's still – and it's really tying on him.

[1:14:55] He has to be the snowflake in it because –

[1:14:59] That's how he snuck into the pageant.

[1:15:02] But his costume grows with him, right?

[1:15:04] Yeah.

[1:15:05] When he – the costume, it grows as he grows.

[1:15:10] So that's another thing for the – Sammy's discovered another goof that should go on the IMDb page that Tim's clothes change shape with him as he ages whereas Ted's are ripped and don't fit.

[1:15:20] So why would – it just doesn't make sense, right?

[1:15:23] Vote on the goof section.

[1:15:25] What was the other goof I had?

[1:15:27] The other goof was –

[1:15:29] Glasses.

[1:15:30] I don't remember.

[1:15:31] It was glasses.

[1:15:32] Oh, glasses.

[1:15:33] Oh, yeah.

[1:15:34] Why does he have glasses as a kid when he didn't wear glasses?

[1:15:36] No, why does he have light blue glasses as a grown-up, but when he changes into a kid, he has black glasses?

[1:15:43] I don't know.

[1:15:44] The effect of the serum.

[1:15:45] If he's a kid and he would wear glasses, he would probably have the light blue ones.

[1:15:48] Yeah, you would think so.

[1:15:49] The serum.

[1:15:50] All glasses began life as black glasses, and they only become light blue over time.

[1:15:55] And they age and become light blue glasses, I see.

[1:15:57] It's sun-bleaching.

[1:15:58] It's a pretty complex topic.

[1:15:59] It's the opposite for my dad.

[1:16:01] He used to wear light blue glasses, and now he wears black.

[1:16:05] Yeah, because my glasses are getting younger.

[1:16:07] Benjamin Button glasses.

[1:16:08] Yeah, Benjamin Buttoning.

[1:16:09] I think that's a good address.

[1:16:10] Yeah, I got them from Warby Benjamin Button.

[1:16:12] So make a long story even slightly shorter.

[1:16:16] Tabitha and Tina, they managed to destroy the computer server by, you guessed it, mixing Mentos with soda and filling the thing with bubbles.

[1:16:24] No, well, Armstrong is like – he's like so happy, he's celebrating, and he pours a big glass of – what is it, soda?

[1:16:33] Yeah, it just says soda pop or something like that.

[1:16:35] Yeah, and he pours it, and there's all this – oh, yeah, and well, during the – well, skip to before he's pouring the soda.

[1:16:45] To before?

[1:16:46] Yeah, go –

[1:16:47] Rewind.

[1:16:48] Go back to before.

[1:16:49] Rewind to before he's doing the soda.

[1:16:53] Sure, yeah.

[1:16:54] They keep punching each other with the robot one.

[1:16:56] Yeah.

[1:16:57] Tina's – the one that Tina's in, the top part, like the cover, it fell off, and Armstrong's, the bottom fell off.

[1:17:06] So Tina's punching the bottom, and candy just keeps falling out of it.

[1:17:11] Oh, that's funny.

[1:17:13] And a tube of Mentos falls out.

[1:17:15] Yeah, and go back to when he's pouring the soda.

[1:17:18] They take some of the Mentos from the ground and put it – and pour them into the soda so it explodes everywhere.

[1:17:28] Yes, just like we've seen in all those videos.

[1:17:30] Again, this is before you were born, Sammy.

[1:17:31] That's why they put it in this movie because it's a reference to a thing from before you were born, the target audience, that when you put Mentos into soda, it gets all foamy.

[1:17:39] So they did it.

[1:17:40] I'm guessing people are still aware of that.

[1:17:42] I don't know that there's a –

[1:17:43] They don't teach it in schools anymore, I don't think, thanks to critical race theory.

[1:17:47] They capture Armstrong.

[1:17:49] They capture Armstrong.

[1:17:51] Uh-huh, yeah.

[1:17:52] They capture Armstrong, the baby, and Stuart liked my joke about the – my character of the parent who's mad that they're teaching race theory and not Mentos in school anymore.

[1:18:01] Daddy, Daddy, I want to tell them about the part at the end with Armstrong.

[1:18:05] Sure, yeah, do it.

[1:18:06] Okay, well, let's – when we get to that part, we'll tell them, okay?

[1:18:09] Tim and Ted return to their – Tim returns to his normal age just in time to catch Tabitha who is falling from the tree.

[1:18:14] Yeah, yeah, and they're reconciled.

[1:18:16] Armstrong is lonely seeing this family reunited.

[1:18:19] The adults are all unbrainwashed and start applauding.

[1:18:21] I don't think they know what's going on, but for some reason they know to applaud that something has happened.

[1:18:26] Tina reveals that her real mission from Baby Corp was to get Ted and Tim back together, and stopping Dr. Armstrong from overthrowing the human grown-up world was just a bonus.

[1:18:37] We go back to their home for Christmas.

[1:18:39] They're a big family.

[1:18:40] Ted gives Tim a big statue of Tim holding a mug that says World's Greatest Dad.

[1:18:44] And there's a letter that says –

[1:18:47] There's a letter that's like you're the best.

[1:18:49] I love you.

[1:18:50] I'm sorry that I couldn't be there, but then Tim gets hit by a snowball, and it turns out it's Ted, and he is here.

[1:18:57] It was a trick.

[1:18:58] And how could he have delivered those presents not being there?

[1:19:02] Well, he might have hired like a task –

[1:19:05] I don't know.

[1:19:06] Okay.

[1:19:07] But he also – but someone also like razor knocks on the door.

[1:19:10] Well, you have to tell them the packages are there.

[1:19:12] I mean often we get a knock on the door, and then I'll go there, and there's nobody there, and magically our CSA produce has been delivered.

[1:19:18] But then you see someone exit the gate.

[1:19:20] Yes, that's true.

[1:19:21] So they play like brothers in the snow, and the whole family goes out, and it seems that Carol learns Tina's secret.

[1:19:26] Who's Carol?

[1:19:27] Carol is Tim's wife.

[1:19:28] Okay.

[1:19:29] Played by your favorite, Eva Longoria.

[1:19:31] And they're all a happy family, and that's when we get the final little coda.

[1:19:35] What happens when they're all a happy family?

[1:19:37] At the – so like what does Tina say?

[1:19:41] No, no.

[1:19:42] She's like – Tim's like, well, that's the whole story, and Tina's like, well, there's one more thing.

[1:19:46] And it goes to Armstrong returning to his own house, and his parents are so happy.

[1:19:52] Yes.

[1:19:53] As I would be, Sammy, if you ran away and then came back.

[1:19:56] I would be so happy.

[1:19:57] Don't run away though.

[1:19:58] Just come back.

[1:19:59] I'm happier with you just staying here.

[1:20:00] That's a lesson. That's a lesson, kids.

[1:20:03] That's a lesson, kids.

[1:20:04] To all the kids listening in the Flophouse, what's the lesson, Sammy?

[1:20:07] Don't run away.

[1:20:09] That is a good lesson. Thank you.

[1:20:11] Guys, did you know that Ray Davies has a songwriting credit for Push It because it quotes,

[1:20:16] Boy, you really got me going. You got me so I don't know what I'm doing.

[1:20:19] Oh, that's cool.

[1:20:20] Every Flophouse episode, there's going to be a safety rule.

[1:20:25] There's going to be a rule that you should never do.

[1:20:29] Never do.

[1:20:30] Okay, so does that be our new thing? We'll have Sammy's Flophouse rules for kids?

[1:20:33] Like the other G.I. Joe episode where they just…

[1:20:35] Exactly, so that knowing is half the battle.

[1:20:37] Yeah.

[1:20:38] Did you know Ray Wise actually has a writing credit on What a Man?

[1:20:44] Oh, interesting.

[1:20:45] Wow.

[1:20:46] Yeah.

[1:20:47] Never run away.

[1:20:48] That's because he and Salt-N-Pepa, they were writing partners for a long time.

[1:20:51] Oh, okay.

[1:20:52] You mean like the food Salt-N-Pepa?

[1:20:53] No, no, the hip-hop group.

[1:20:55] Oh, I mean the name is similar, though.

[1:20:58] It's very similar.

[1:20:59] Maybe it is the food.

[1:21:00] Maybe it is the food. You know what? You're right.

[1:21:02] Maybe it's just two of our favorite spice seasonings are just rapping away about What a Man.

[1:21:09] Ray Wise, and Ray Wise was the man they're rapping about.

[1:21:12] This is the part of the show where we do our final judgments about the movie.

[1:21:16] Do you want to have the first word or the last word?

[1:21:19] Oh, and then we have to recommend good movies.

[1:21:21] Well, I think you're going to leave the show before we get to the recommendations.

[1:21:24] Why?

[1:21:25] Because we have other stuff to do.

[1:21:28] I could always close my ears.

[1:21:31] No, you can't close your ears.

[1:21:32] Mommy has earplugs.

[1:21:33] Here, sit down. Sit down.

[1:21:34] So here are the categories.

[1:21:37] Is it a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie you kind of liked?

[1:21:41] A movie I kind of liked.

[1:21:43] What did you like about it?

[1:21:44] It was funny.

[1:21:45] It was funny. You were really enjoying watching it.

[1:21:47] You were laughing a lot.

[1:21:48] You kept saying things like this is the greatest and I love this movie while we were watching it.

[1:21:53] So I think I'll step in here and say I had a much more enjoyable experience I think watching it with Sammy than I would have had watching it by myself.

[1:22:00] Watching it by myself, I think I would have found it a little too hyperactive, and by the end of it, they're just throwing jokes out willy-nilly.

[1:22:08] That was really getting on my nerves, but seeing how much Sammy was enjoying it, I was like, hey, you know what?

[1:22:13] I liked a lot of stuff when I was a kid that my parents didn't like, so it was okay.

[1:22:17] So I'm going to call it a movie that I didn't necessarily kind of like, but I think kids are going to like it.

[1:22:21] Guys, you watched it without a child with you I assume.

[1:22:24] What was your experience?

[1:22:25] I mean the only child was me, and I kind of liked it.

[1:22:31] I mean the hyperactivity was what I liked about it.

[1:22:34] I didn't like the beginning so much where it was sort of – I don't know.

[1:22:40] It felt so tied into this boss baby world that I didn't know anything about.

[1:22:44] The BBCU.

[1:22:46] Once I got to the weird school, the movie got a lot stranger than I expected, and some of the stuff actually made me laugh even though –

[1:22:59] It made you cry at one point.

[1:23:01] That's a dirty lie.

[1:23:04] It's the longest DreamWorks animated movie.

[1:23:07] I saw this written somewhere, and then I confirmed it just now, and that is a mistake.

[1:23:11] It is too long.

[1:23:12] It is too long.

[1:23:13] About 20 minutes shorter, but it was okay.

[1:23:16] I agree that it's a good – for kids.

[1:23:19] It's for kids like a hula hoop.

[1:23:21] I'd say it should have been longer because then I could have stayed up longer.

[1:23:25] True.

[1:23:26] Because we watched it after your brother went to bed, right?

[1:23:28] I only got to watch like an hour and 20 minutes on Friday night, and then yesterday night I only got to watch the last 20 minutes.

[1:23:38] Now here's the thing.

[1:23:39] You didn't get to stay up as late as you did when you watched that Mets-Dodgers game.

[1:23:42] Did you enjoy the Mets-Dodgers game or Boss Baby Family Business more?

[1:23:45] I liked the Mets-Dodgers game more.

[1:23:47] Okay.

[1:23:48] So there you have it.

[1:23:49] Put it on the poster.

[1:23:50] Because that – anything could happen in it, but this – the movie is a movie.

[1:23:54] I mean –

[1:23:55] And they couldn't like change it for like –

[1:23:56] That's true.

[1:23:57] The movie can't go into extra innings.

[1:23:58] That's true.

[1:23:59] You're still limited within the rules of baseball and real life though.

[1:24:03] Yeah, whereas the Boss Baby Family Business is the only limit to the human imagination.

[1:24:07] I was also happy with the ending of it.

[1:24:09] Okay.

[1:24:10] That's good.

[1:24:11] Did you like the ending?

[1:24:12] Yeah, of the game.

[1:24:13] Of the baseball game.

[1:24:14] Oh, the baseball game.

[1:24:15] Oh, yes.

[1:24:16] Yeah, because he liked that the Dodgers beat the Mets.

[1:24:17] Yeah.

[1:24:18] Yeah.

[1:24:19] You can see.

[1:24:20] Yep.

[1:24:21] He's wearing his Dodgers shirt.

[1:24:22] Oh, man.

[1:24:23] He's pointing at it.

[1:24:24] Yep.

[1:24:25] Yeah, this is LA fan.

[1:24:27] You put it on the poster.

[1:24:28] I wish it was longer.

[1:24:29] Sammy Kalin, the Flophouse, don't – but then you put dot, dot, dot, and leave out

[1:24:32] the part.

[1:24:33] I liked the baseball game more.

[1:24:34] Yeah.

[1:24:35] Yeah.

[1:24:36] So Stu, what do you think?

[1:24:37] Okay.

[1:24:38] Let's see.

[1:24:39] I like that there's this weird message in the holiday pageant or whatever show about

[1:24:46] the parents' generation destroying the world because that's true.

[1:24:51] So that's great.

[1:24:52] And babies –

[1:24:53] The parents' generation destroying the world?

[1:24:54] That was the thing.

[1:24:55] Like –

[1:24:56] No.

[1:24:57] Armstrong wants to destroy the parents.

[1:24:58] No.

[1:24:59] Armstrong wants to destroy the parents, but part of his reasoning is because parents have

[1:25:00] done such a bad job of running the world.

[1:25:02] Yeah.

[1:25:03] Which you have to admit is probably true.

[1:25:04] I mean, that's the thing.

[1:25:05] They talk about Baby Corps.

[1:25:07] The only thing is they don't give enough candy and TV.

[1:25:10] They don't give enough candy and TV.

[1:25:11] Those are your main complaints?

[1:25:12] Yep.

[1:25:13] Okay.

[1:25:14] Now Baby Corps is supposed to look out for threats to babies all over the world, and

[1:25:17] obviously the biggest threat is climate change because they're not going to have a world

[1:25:21] to inherit.

[1:25:22] So I think they're kind of dropping the ball clearly.

[1:25:24] But by the time they inherit that world, they're not babies anymore.

[1:25:27] Baby Corps has a very narrow special interest group.

[1:25:30] Oh, okay.

[1:25:31] That's interesting.

[1:25:32] Yeah, that makes sense.

[1:25:33] Yeah.

[1:25:35] I also kind of like the moment when Alec Baldwin as a baby is talking to his baby brother who

[1:25:42] isn't a baby, but he's a boy, and he's like, being a dad is such a hard job, you should

[1:25:47] get paid for it.

[1:25:48] And I'm like, that's great.

[1:25:49] I love sharing that message that being the toughest job is being a dad, that you have

[1:25:54] to babysit your kids and shit like that.

[1:25:57] Every now and then you've got to watch them.

[1:25:58] Well, yeah.

[1:25:59] My dad does get paid, and he is a dad.

[1:26:00] But I don't get paid for it.

[1:26:01] Not get paid for being a dad.

[1:26:02] Yes, I get paid for my other work.

[1:26:03] No one does that.

[1:26:04] Yeah, no one gets...

[1:26:05] Well, the only people who get paid for being dads are like...

[1:26:06] Are babysitters.

[1:26:07] I mean, sometimes people...

[1:26:08] If you hire someone to pretend to be your dad, because your boss is coming over for

[1:26:09] dinner, and you want to impress him, so you hire someone to pretend to be your dad and

[1:26:10] pretend he's like a Nobel scientist.

[1:26:11] Well, Alec, occasionally on Instagram, my DMs, I get requests to be a dad.

[1:26:12] Yeah, I'm sure it's only fans he does get paid to be a daddy.

[1:26:13] Yeah.

[1:26:14] If he's...

[1:26:15] Yeah.

[1:26:16] Yeah.

[1:26:17] Yeah.

[1:26:18] Yeah.

[1:26:19] Yeah.

[1:26:20] Yeah.

[1:26:21] Yeah.

[1:26:22] Yeah.

[1:26:23] Yeah.

[1:26:24] Yeah.

[1:26:25] Yeah.

[1:26:26] Yeah.

[1:26:28] If he says...

[1:26:29] Yeah.

[1:26:30] If his boss says and he's coming over, and if he's a good dad, then the...

[1:26:34] His boss is gonna pay him, but he isn't a good dad, so he hires someone else.

[1:26:41] Yeah.

[1:26:42] No, yeah, yeah.

[1:26:43] So...

[1:26:44] But that someone...

[1:26:45] But it's not what his plan is.

[1:26:46] Sure, yeah.

[1:26:47] The other...

[1:26:48] If someone else gets paid, the other person gets paid, and not him.

[1:26:49] I guess what I mean...

[1:26:50] Yeah.

[1:26:51] Is this a story you made up, or is this a thing you saw somewhere?

[1:26:52] I made this up.

[1:26:53] Okay, I think that this is true.

[1:26:54] No, I mean...

[1:26:55] No, that is true.

[1:26:57] No, I mean, you had me going.

[1:26:58] Yeah.

[1:26:59] And also, there's a very hot horse, very little hot horse in it.

[1:27:02] Big fan.

[1:27:03] Okay.

[1:27:04] What's her ad?

[1:27:05] Let's go on.

[1:27:06] You mean Precious?

[1:27:07] So, yeah, Precious.

[1:27:09] So what is...

[1:27:11] I guess, yeah, it's great.

[1:27:13] Best movie ever.

[1:27:14] Okay, so Stewart gives it a best movie ever.

[1:27:17] That's the official tallies for The Boss Baby Family Business.

[1:27:20] I want to thank our...

[1:27:21] The.

[1:27:22] The Boss Baby colon The Family Business.

[1:27:25] You already said that.

[1:27:26] Oh.

[1:27:27] The Boss Baby.

[1:27:28] The colon Family Business.

[1:27:31] The Boss Baby Family The Business.

[1:27:33] Okay.

[1:27:35] Wow.

[1:27:36] Sammy is tired of that bit.

[1:27:37] If you want, is what he said.

[1:27:39] Yeah.

[1:27:40] So, Sammy, I want to thank you so much for joining us and sharing your thoughts on the movie.

[1:27:43] It was a very special experience, and I'm so glad I got to share the podcast with you

[1:27:46] and got to share the movie with you, and I love you.

[1:27:48] Can we stay for the other 20 minutes?

[1:27:51] It's going to be more than 20 minutes.

[1:27:53] Let me tell you.

[1:27:54] You always say that it's two hours.

[1:27:56] Yeah, but it's not always two hours.

[1:27:58] But, Sammy, I think it's time for you to go so that we can talk about some grown-up stuff.

[1:28:01] Like what?

[1:28:02] I can't tell you.

[1:28:03] Do you have any other final messages you want to tell the audience before you go?

[1:28:12] He's thinking.

[1:28:13] He's thinking.

[1:28:14] What if he comes out with Baba Booey?

[1:28:15] I hope not.

[1:28:17] Sammy, what are you going to say?

[1:28:18] What's your final message?

[1:28:19] My answer for the question in the beginning that I said I would answer at the part that I'm going out in is maybe.

[1:28:29] Okay.

[1:28:30] Great.

[1:28:31] He's hanging it up.

[1:28:34] Oh, man.

[1:28:35] Okay.

[1:28:36] Thank you so much, Sammy.

[1:28:37] Oh, man.

[1:28:38] Bye.

[1:28:39] And Sammy's waving goodbye to Dan Stu.

[1:28:40] Okay.

[1:28:41] See you, Sammy.

[1:28:42] Can you close the door on the way you're out?

[1:28:43] Sure.

[1:28:44] That's cheerful.

[1:28:45] You were great.

[1:28:46] Yeah, you were fantastic.

[1:28:47] Yeah, you were great, buddy.

[1:28:48] Now get out of here.

[1:28:49] Now get going, kid.

[1:28:50] Man, I got to say that having Sammy around really kept me from getting too raw in the Boss Baby episode.

[1:28:56] Yeah.

[1:28:57] Tell me about it.

[1:28:58] Yeah, tell me about it.

[1:28:59] Hey.

[1:29:00] I think I only swore like once or twice, and I barely talked about that horse.

[1:29:05] I think it was better for all of us that he was here so that of all the movies, Boss Baby was not the one where we decided to get raw and let loose.

[1:29:12] But that Back to the Future shit is wild.

[1:29:14] Yeah.

[1:29:15] Let's talk about that for a minute.

[1:29:17] There was every scene between Tim and his daughter, Tabitha, was uncomfortable for exactly that reason.

[1:29:23] Only because it's like I know how these stories often go.

[1:29:26] I do not want it to go in that direction.

[1:29:28] And think about how messed up it will be for her when she realizes that she had a crush on a guy who turned out to be her dad de-aged by a magic formula from Baby Corp.

[1:29:37] Yeah.

[1:29:38] And can I – I want to talk about one other thing about the movie real quick.

[1:29:42] And generally the animation style was pretty straightforward, DreamWorks, and I wasn't kind of crazy about it.

[1:29:48] But I did like some of the animation touches when Tim's character is having his fantasies, whereas a little bit – like the animation was a little flatter, a little more 2D.

[1:29:58] Almost like –

[1:30:00] Yeah, old-school painted backgrounds. I mean I did really like seeing that even though it's a CGI movie

[1:30:05] It did not look photorealistic and they were doing goofy

[1:30:08] You know squash and and stretch and and like silly cartoon stuff. They were not letting it

[1:30:14] They were not

[1:30:15] They didn't seem to be really worried about making sure the snow looked like real snow at the expense of characters doing silly as anything

[1:30:21] Yes, you know

[1:30:23] So there you have it the boss baby number one pick of the year

[1:30:26] Yeah

[1:30:27] Mm-hmm. I just I'd in it

[1:30:29] I fact that shows you how surprisingly I enjoyed the movie that I could get over the fact that I was essentially watching baby

[1:30:35] Donald Trump running around being smug and full of himself and eventually I was like, you know what? I don't hate this, baby. Yeah

[1:30:47] Are you feeling elevated levels of anxiety do you quick uncontrollably even thinking about watching cable news?

[1:30:54] Do you have disturbing nightmares only to realize it's 2 in the afternoon and you're up

[1:31:00] If you've experienced one or more of these symptoms, you may have FN. Oh

[1:31:05] news overload

[1:31:08] Fortunately, there's treatment. Hi. I'm Dave Holmes host of troubled waters

[1:31:13] Troubled waters helps fight FN. Oh, that's because troubled waters stimulates your joy zone on troubled waters

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[1:35:21] That is more reflective of the diverse world

[1:35:24] You can stay on budget

[1:35:25] While telling the best version of your story with the most affordable subscription plans and tools on the market that scale to meet your needs

[1:35:34] as

[1:35:35] We've I think you guys have mentioned before we've done a couple of live shows

[1:35:39] We actually have a live show coming up that we're going to talk about

[1:35:41] But in the past we've done them and Dan has used story blocks to create some of the great little

[1:35:48] interstitials and

[1:35:49] extra bits that we throw in there for our viewers and

[1:35:53] It was pretty easy to use right Dan

[1:35:56] Yeah, thanks for throwing it to me. Well, I had a nice cube in my mouth

[1:36:07] Would you call that cube the ultimate story block and it was blocking you from telling the story of using story

[1:36:12] It's just a very easy. You just get on there. You can search through all the assets in there

[1:36:18] It's you can download them with one click. You can they're all beautiful

[1:36:23] Many of them are in full high-def. It's great

[1:36:27] So explore their library and subscribe today at story blocks

[1:36:33] Slash-flop

[1:36:34] FLOP that's story blocks

[1:36:37] comm

[1:36:38] Slash flop. Hey guys, we've also got something to promote that is

[1:36:43] Us being a little selfish and promoting our own stuff. Let me talk about so hey

[1:36:48] Are you guys familiar with live?

[1:36:51] Performances, huh? You might be there aren't as many of them going on now because of events beyond our control

[1:36:56] But what if I were to tell you that the flop house was going to be appearing live on your very own computer screen?

[1:37:02] That's right

[1:37:03] Just like we've done several times before

[1:37:05] even though I'm talking about it as if it's a new thing that nobody's ever heard of before the flop house is going to be

[1:37:10] Doing a new live remote show on Saturday

[1:37:13] September 25th at 9 p.m. Eastern 6 p.m. Pacific if you live in a different time zone

[1:37:19] Please do the math as to when that is for you. I can't do all the time zones. I just don't know him

[1:37:24] So we'll be we're gonna be doing an all-new live show

[1:37:27] We're gonna be talking about the movie Super Mario Brothers or Super Mario Brothers as people who are not from New Jersey insist on making

[1:37:33] Me pronounce it. That's right the

[1:37:36] amazing story of the Mario and Luigi Mario Brothers

[1:37:40] Played by Bob Hoskins and what John Leguizamo going underground to stop Dennis Hopper from doing dinosaur stuff

[1:37:46] we're gonna be talking about it's the 28th anniversary of the release of

[1:37:51] Mario Brothers and so we are going to be celebrating it and talking about it

[1:37:56] There's also gonna be all new presentations before the show. You've seen these shows before, you know, we do these hilarious PowerPoint presentations

[1:38:02] We're gonna be doing those before the show. It's gonna be an all-new show

[1:38:05] I believe we're gonna have new exclusive shirt designs possibly to sell during the show and

[1:38:11] Buying a ticket gets you one week of access to the recording that's archived afterwards

[1:38:16] So even if you can't make it on the night of September 25th

[1:38:19] You can still get that ticket and watch it at your leisure in the seven days after

[1:38:25] So that's the flop house live talking Super Mario Brothers for the 28th anniversary of that historic

[1:38:31] Story film Saturday September 25th 9 p.m. Eastern 6 p.m. Pacific

[1:38:36] You're gonna want to go to simple ticks calm to buy the tickets

[1:38:41] They obviously the easiest way to do it is just Google simple ticks and flop house

[1:38:46] But I believe there's also a link at the flop house website, which is what the flop house podcast calm

[1:38:53] Yeah, I think it's just flop house podcast calm. I can't wait. It's gonna be fun

[1:38:58] I love doing those shows with you guys and I love

[1:39:02] Taking questions from the audience and I love getting to see what fucking dungeon Elliot's recording from it's great. It's always my garage

[1:39:09] It's just my

[1:39:12] Scary like I feel like you have the lights on a dimmer to get more scary as the as the recording goes on

[1:39:19] Yeah, I do have that. That's true because it turns into it

[1:39:21] It does turn into a torture palace eventually, but uh, yeah, we're gonna go it's you'll see us in front of your face

[1:39:27] We're gonna be answering questions live from the audience probably over Twitter again, but we'll see how we do it. Who knows and

[1:39:34] Who knows it's just gonna be

[1:39:36] It's just gonna be really fun. So that's September 25th the flop house live

[1:39:40] SMB that's Super Mario Brothers. I'll tell you what that stands for 9 p.m. Eastern 6 p.m

[1:39:45] Pacific just go to simple ticks calm to get the tickets. They're $10 each

[1:39:50] You can pay more if you want to but you don't have to pay more if you don't want to

[1:39:53] Come and join us it's gonna be fun. Well, let's keep this trainer rolling and answer some

[1:40:00] Letters from listeners, listeners like you, this first letter is from Adrienne, last name withheld, who writes,

[1:40:09] I believe the name is Adrienne, last name withheld.

[1:40:14] Dear Peaches, my three-year-old son has noticed his grandfather's old Marvel lunchbox that we have on a shelf in our living room.

[1:40:22] He is now obsessed with Spider-Man, Iron Man, the Hulk, and the Fantastic Four.

[1:40:28] He keeps asking, why is that big guy made of rocks, and why is the man turning green?

[1:40:35] How do I answer these questions? Any recommendations for print or video content that is at least somewhat appropriate for his age?

[1:40:42] I know this question is pretty targeted at Elliot, since he is both a dad and a Marvel zombie, but would love any and all input.

[1:40:49] Thanks for the laughs, you've gotten through the lowest points of my life over the last ten years.

[1:40:53] I cannot express my appreciation enough. Love, Adrienne, last name withheld.

[1:40:59] Well, thank you for the nice words. We're glad we could be there for you. Right, guys?

[1:41:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is unwittingly turned into a very…

[1:41:06] Why did Dan just do the Jack-off motion?

[1:41:09] What? Oh, no. Oh, god.

[1:41:13] No, this is just a very parenting-centered question for a parenting…

[1:41:20] Yeah, parenting-centered episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:41:22] Yeah, yeah. Well, this week, we are also sponsored by the American Fertility Increasing Institute.

[1:41:27] Did you know the American population is dropping?

[1:41:30] If it gets too far down, alien nations from other planets will be able to come in and take our stuff, I guess.

[1:41:36] We need more Americans. Go out and have babies today, but not boss babies.

[1:41:40] They're creepy and a little smug. Have worker babies.

[1:41:44] Or babe-ploys, they're called.

[1:41:47] So I found – so I'm in a very similar situation.

[1:41:50] I have a three-year-old son, not the one you heard earlier.

[1:41:52] He's seven and a half, but his younger brother is also very into Marvel stuff.

[1:41:56] He's especially into Spider-Man right now, although his understanding of who Spider-Man is is very skewed because he has not seen too much stuff.

[1:42:04] He's actually been enjoying lately the new Disney show Spidey and His Amazing Friends, which is about Spider-Man, the two Spider-Men.

[1:42:12] Peter Parker and Miles Morales and also Ghost-Spider, Gwen Stacy, having very kind of low-key adventures, not adventures with low-key, the Thor bad guy.

[1:42:22] But the kind of adventures where like they've got to save cats from trees or like Rhino is just being a jerk at a carnival or something like that.

[1:42:31] It's Spider-Man without all the punching and kicking in the face that you get in the actual Spider-Man comics, and he's really been enjoying that.

[1:42:39] He insists on he being Peter Parker, Spider-Man, and me being Miles Morales, who on the show is called Spin.

[1:42:45] And so out of nowhere, he'll just suddenly be like, Spin, what's going on over there?

[1:42:49] And I have to be like, oh, it's the Green Goblin. Let's go stop him.

[1:42:52] So he's been doing that. The other thing he likes is there's a book Marvel put out a little while ago with comic strips, mostly by Christie Russo called Mini Marvels.

[1:43:03] And that book, it's like kid versions of the Marvel characters for the most part.

[1:43:10] There are a few comic strips in it where the jokes are a little too grown up for a three-year-old.

[1:43:16] But with some judicious looking at the next panel ahead and then editing the words, he's been able to enjoy a lot of those books, and it's a good entryway for me to explain to him who these characters are.

[1:43:27] And if those don't do it for you, Little Golden Books has a bunch of Marvel books that are literally just naming the characters and telling you what they do.

[1:43:35] There's no actual stories. It's just like The Avengers, kind of.

[1:43:40] It's like that's the book, but about like The Avengers.

[1:43:43] And so those are all ways to get kids into those characters and explain who they are without the stuff about them actually fighting and hitting because I really – that's the one thing that I'm trying to keep my kids away from as long as possible is the aspect of supervision.

[1:43:56] It's the aspect of superheroes that involves extreme violence, which is hard to do when you're like –

[1:44:01] Problem-solving involves a lot of punching.

[1:44:04] Yes, exactly. Very much so. That's not the lesson I want them to learn.

[1:44:08] So those are some examples that I would recommend, and if anyone has any other ideas, write in and tell me, and I'll be happy to share them I guess.

[1:44:17] I guess I'm spreading the word of Marvel Comics for kids now. I guess I'm part of their promotional department. I don't understand it, but it happened.

[1:44:23] This second and final letter is from Danny, last name withheld.

[1:44:28] Hey, Floppers. Your recent conversation in the Jiu-Jitsu episode about actors who have built an unexpectedly large portfolio of Flophouse classics got me thinking.

[1:44:39] Are there some incredibly prolific Flopmeisters out there we've never heard of?

[1:44:45] In order to find these unsung heroes of Flopdom, I wrote a script to scrape the IMDb page of each movie featured on the mainline Flophouse episodes, extracted the full credited cast and crew list, and crunched the numbers.

[1:44:59] Using a scraper for good.

[1:45:01] Yeah.

[1:45:02] Finally.

[1:45:04] One look reveals that this list is dominated by sound and VFX professionals.

[1:45:11] The number one Flopper by far is Peter Rotter, an orchestra contractor, not conductor, contractor. I'm not sure what that is.

[1:45:22] That's someone you hire to kill orchestras.

[1:45:24] Yeah. With 69 Flop credits to his name.

[1:45:30] Stuart laughing at the number 69.

[1:45:32] From more than 1,000 credits overall.

[1:45:35] He has been involved with 20% of all the movies ever discussed on the Flophouse.

[1:45:41] Wow.

[1:45:42] Yeah, that's amazing.

[1:45:43] As far as I can tell, the first person on the list who is acting listed as their main job is, of course, Nick Cage, ranked 59th with 22 Flop credits.

[1:45:52] One of them is for producing A Thousand Words with Eddie Murphy.

[1:45:57] Nicholas Cage produced A Thousand Words?

[1:46:00] Apparently.

[1:46:01] He likes the fantasy.

[1:46:02] The next person I found on the list whose primary job is listed as actor is Robin Atkin Downs with 16 mostly ADR credits, including Elliot's number one favorite Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.

[1:46:15] And probably the coolest person on the list is Al Cirillo, also 16 Flophouse credits, a helicopter pilot whose more than 500 credits include helicopter pilot, chopper pilot, aerial pilot, and actual helicopter pilot.

[1:46:31] As to the debate over who might follow in Nick Cage's footsteps if he continues making pretty enjoyable and non-terrible movies, Samuel L. Jackson has eight Flop credits, while Idris Elba and Gerard Butler have seven each.

[1:46:44] I'm surprised Idris Elba is tied.

[1:46:47] My money is on Gremlin Battler as a long shot candidate.

[1:46:50] I could also imagine Gary Oldman going the Nick Cage route.

[1:46:54] Five Flops so far, plus Manc.

[1:46:56] Only time will tell.

[1:46:59] Anyway, that's basically the – there's a closing thing, but that's a pretty amazing work there.

[1:47:08] Yeah, yeah.

[1:47:09] I'm very impressed.

[1:47:10] Also, the more I think about it, the more we should have done a Manc episode, the more I think about it.

[1:47:15] Yeah, still can.

[1:47:16] It's not going anywhere.

[1:47:17] It's not going into Disney vault anytime soon.

[1:47:19] It would be so funny if Disney was like, we didn't make this movie, and humanity is like, no, no, just please take it.

[1:47:28] That's impressive work.

[1:47:31] I don't know how to do computer stuff like that, and I'm just super impressed by it, and I'm kind of curious about what this orchestra contractor does.

[1:47:38] What does he do?

[1:47:39] Dan, how does that work?

[1:47:40] I imagine that he contracts orchestras.

[1:47:45] He's involved in the –

[1:47:47] Write into the Flop House and tell us what an orchestra contractor does.

[1:47:51] Yeah, please do.

[1:47:53] And if you're Peter Rotter, let us know.

[1:47:56] You're our number one Flop superstar.

[1:47:59] Yeah, hit us up.

[1:48:01] But let's move on to the final section where we recommend movies that we have seen usually recently, but whatever goes, things that maybe you'll like better than Boss Baby.

[1:48:14] Who knows?

[1:48:15] Maybe it's a movie you've seen in the future, but not yet.

[1:48:17] Yeah, maybe you're Precog.

[1:48:18] Get out of that bath, Precog.

[1:48:20] Yeah, stop touching Tom Cruise.

[1:48:21] You've got to imagine those Precogs are so pruney.

[1:48:24] I'm going to recommend two but make it very quick since I'm doing so.

[1:48:30] I watched Possession, the movie from 1981.

[1:48:35] Oh, what a good movie.

[1:48:36] Sam Neill.

[1:48:37] Isabella Johnny.

[1:48:39] Yes.

[1:48:40] Octopus Critter.

[1:48:43] It's a very –

[1:48:46] Don't oversell the performance of the Octopus Critter.

[1:48:49] It's in there, but it's not like it has a lot of screen time.

[1:48:51] It's a wildly unsettling movie.

[1:48:57] The two leads are certainly putting in the most – what I would say dangerous performance I've ever seen in a movie.

[1:49:08] The two of them seem like they're really risking their own mental health to make this film, and you can feel it.

[1:49:18] It's a movie that just gives off the vibe of something being wrong in every frame, but it's also weirdly, disturbingly beautiful.

[1:49:27] It's about the dissolution of a relationship, but not only about that.

[1:49:32] It's got weird supernatural elements, political elements.

[1:49:38] You're never quite sure what's going on, and yet it all seems to make perfect sense emotionally.

[1:49:45] But the other movie I wanted to recommend was like a weird companion piece.

[1:49:50] Let's call it the goofball – the goofest Possessions of Gallant.

[1:49:55] There's a movie called – what is it called?

[1:49:58] Love is a Gun.

[1:50:00] 1994. It's the only movie written and directed by the writer-director. It stars Eric Roberts,

[1:50:09] and it seems like the director told him that he could do whatever he wanted and then told

[1:50:15] everyone else in the cast to match his energy. It's kind of the erotic thriller, I guess you

[1:50:26] would call it, version of something like Possession, where it is almost equally as inexplicable what's

[1:50:35] going on in this movie, but it feels more like if someone took a sort of 90s erotic neo-noir

[1:50:45] and threw it in a blender with a David Lynch movie, but then also told it, like,

[1:50:50] hey, could you make this movie and make it walk the line between being wildly terrible and kind

[1:50:56] of fascinating and good? I love that in a movie, when you can watch a movie that is probably bad

[1:51:03] by any normal metric, but also sort of works on its own terms. So that's Love is a Gun.

[1:51:09] So two strange movies about unhealthy relationships.

[1:51:14] Do they both have octopus critters in them? Only one has an octopus critter,

[1:51:18] so that's the deciding factor. It's hard to get your hands on the director's cut.

[1:51:26] I mean, in a way, Possession could have been called My Octopus Teacher.

[1:51:29] That's true. So I'm going to recommend a movie that I think is in theaters now. You should go

[1:51:36] and watch it if you can, if it's safe. If not, wait for it to be on VOD. It's a movie called

[1:51:41] The Green Knight. I didn't recommend this yet, right? Only on Twitter. Okay, cool. So you should

[1:51:48] go check this out. It is based on an Arthurian legend, and it kind of feels like it. It's nice

[1:51:58] and slow. It's old-timey. It's got some twists. It's got a great Dev Patel. Almost nobody is

[1:52:04] given a name. There's no dialogue. I almost fell asleep twice, but it was worth it. Very little

[1:52:12] action, unless you count Jizzen. I would say check out The Green Knight. Fools, it rules.

[1:52:20] I saw this, too, and I co-signed this. It is a movie where it really makes this time period feel

[1:52:30] just such an alien landscape. A lot of fantasy stuff does happen. It's not like this is the real

[1:52:38] history, but it weirdly feels more evocative. You're saying people didn't jizz back then.

[1:52:44] People didn't fight headless green knights. I felt like it felt evocative of what it must

[1:52:52] have been like to live back then, where you lived in this fear of how mysterious the world was that

[1:52:57] you didn't necessarily understand all of. I can see what you're going for. As opposed to now,

[1:53:04] when our anxieties are about knowing too much. That's fair. The last 15 minutes of this movie

[1:53:11] I think are pretty untouchable. It was a movie that's great. Thumbs up. I haven't gotten to see

[1:53:18] it yet. I can't wait to see it. I'm going to recommend a movie that's also set in a strange

[1:53:24] fantasy land. That's right, Los Angeles. Anyway, thank you. This is a movie.

[1:53:30] Holly Weird, we call it.

[1:53:31] Yeah, Holly Weird. I want to recommend Miranda LaJolia's last movie, Kajillionaire,

[1:53:36] which stars Evan Rachel Wood as the daughter of two con artists played by Deborah Winger and

[1:53:42] Richard Jenkins. They're very bad con artists. They're incredibly unambitious and low level,

[1:53:47] but they act as if they are the matchstick men. They live in an office space that they're renting

[1:53:54] that's next to a soap bubble factory. Part of the rules of their living there is they have to,

[1:54:00] I think, at least once a day use garbage cans to clear the wall of soap bubbles that have leaked

[1:54:05] in from the other side or else the wall will dissolve. It's not a great life. They, as a

[1:54:11] family, meet Gina Rodriguez. She takes a real interest in Evan Rachel Wood's character and

[1:54:16] starts joining them in their kind of con heisting and tries to pull her away from these clearly

[1:54:22] toxic people that she is in the same family as. It's a Miranda LaJolia movie, so that means there's

[1:54:27] kind of alternating cold weirdness and intensely sincere emotions, but I like her movies and I

[1:54:37] like this one a lot. There's some funny stuff in it and there's emotional stuff in it. The actors

[1:54:41] are all really great and yeah, there's some parts that are real creepy and I liked it a lot. It was

[1:54:47] one of many times where I watched a movie and I was like, oh, that was a really interesting movie,

[1:54:51] and then it said produced by Brad Pitt. I was like, Brad Pitt, are you producing every movie

[1:54:55] these days? Because I guess he is, but I liked it. Kajillionaire. I think it's on HBO Max right now.

[1:55:02] Well, guys, what a trip we've been on. What fun. A family affair.

[1:55:08] I want to thank everybody for putting up with my son.

[1:55:13] Our pleasure. I thought he did a great job, but I could understand how not everyone.

[1:55:19] Not everyone's used to his way of telling stories, which is to just

[1:55:22] follow the thread of whatever he's interested in talking about at the moment.

[1:55:26] That's kids for you.

[1:55:30] What does that look like?

[1:55:31] Just laughing at child expert Dan McCoy giving us some info.

[1:55:35] Hey, man, I mean, I have them, but I know how they tell stories.

[1:55:40] I remember, Dan, you getting very mad. This is before I had kids, I think,

[1:55:43] telling me about how another friend of yours who had kids was saying that their kids ate like

[1:55:49] birthday cake at a party and got really hyper. And you were like, the science shows

[1:55:53] eating sugar doesn't noticeably increase the amount of hyperactivity of a kid.

[1:55:58] They've done studies on this. And I was like, I don't know, Dan, I think that's just what they

[1:56:01] notice. And you're like, but it doesn't square with it. And I thought it was very funny that you

[1:56:05] were you were bringing science to a parenting fight.

[1:56:07] No, no, no, no. I just don't like using anecdotal data as if it is scientific data.

[1:56:15] This was a parenting thing than my own annoying pedantry.

[1:56:20] Yeah, Elliot, I'm glad. Thank you for bringing Sammy in. It would have just been like me and

[1:56:24] Dan, a couple of non-breeders giving you, you know, outnumbering you. And I think we got some

[1:56:30] much needed insight into the world of being a dad and being a boss baby.

[1:56:34] Yeah, yeah. Well, because since he is a he is a boss kid and and I'm the dad, there's, you know,

[1:56:38] time will tell whether he's a breeder or not. He certainly likes to listen to him.

[1:56:42] Oh, and yeah, yeah. Favorite favorite band, certainly. And but, you know, the but I think

[1:56:49] it was it was just a it was just a special moment to share him with the world of podcasting.

[1:56:53] Listeners, I hope you enjoyed it. Please do not send letters to my son. Do not attempt

[1:56:57] to contact. Talk to me about him. That is my son. Get away from my son. Bring back my son.

[1:57:02] You know, if you don't like it, keep it to yourself. There's no need. You know,

[1:57:06] you can have an opinion that is not one that makes Elliot sad.

[1:57:11] Like that's that's the thing that can happen. Oh, that's good.

[1:57:14] If you have a critical comment about my son or anything I've done,

[1:57:17] please refrain. I refer to get I prefer to get those criticisms

[1:57:21] from my dad's friends through my dad. That's my preferred method to get criticism of work

[1:57:26] that I've done. So, yeah, he was he was talking to me today and he's like, so.

[1:57:32] So this show you're working on in the next season, are you going to develop the characters

[1:57:35] more? Because some of the comments I heard were that the characters were kind of not

[1:57:37] clearly defined. And I was like, what? Some of the comments I didn't watch the

[1:57:44] show myself, but the the chatter is the thing you're doing on the message boards.

[1:57:49] Everyone's saying that. Yeah. The subreddit some part of

[1:57:53] the discord channels I run. Yeah. Yeah. When he was I was I was on.

[1:57:59] What's that thing where you just listen to people talk and it's like a conference house,

[1:58:02] clubhouse clubhouse in this Taliban run clubhouse and they were complaining about how it's broken.

[1:58:11] OK, well, but thanks for listening, everybody. Thank you for listening. Please

[1:58:15] do all the stuff that helps us spread the word, rate us, subscribe, tell people about us.

[1:58:22] Thank you to Alex Smith for being our producer. Thank you to Maximum Fun.

[1:58:29] Go to MaximumFun.org, our podcasting network. Check out other podcasts.

[1:58:35] Yeah, just check out podcasts. Check out podcasts. You know,

[1:58:39] I hear they're really hot right now. So hot. Yeah. Yeah.

[1:58:42] Now that Conan O'Brien's doing them, it's a revolution. Yeah. Yeah.

[1:58:45] But for The Flop House, I have been Dan McCoy. I've been Stuart Wellington.

[1:58:50] I'm Ellie Kaelin and Sammy already left the room, so I'll say goodbye for him.

[1:58:53] Hi, I'm Sammy. Goodbye. Oh, wow. Bye.

[1:59:01] Yeah. So, Sammy, do you have any questions before we start?

[1:59:03] No, I think I watched the movie. You can't. You can swear on this podcast.

[1:59:08] Yeah, but we're not going to today. And Sammy, like I say,

[1:59:11] we may ask you to leave the show. I know. I know. You've told me that many times.

[1:59:15] I'm just preparing you. I just don't want you to be upset about it.

[1:59:20] I don't need to be too ready. Okay. I love this. Yeah.

[1:59:23] No, it needs to be too ready. That's the Flop House motto.

[1:59:25] You gotta live in the moment, dude. Yeah. You don't want to be overprepared.

[1:59:28] Yeah. That's the number one rule of podcasting. Don't be overprepared.

[1:59:32] Or in our case, don't be prepared much of the time.

[1:59:34] Wow. Okay.

[1:59:36] MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.

Ep.%350 - The Boss Baby: Family Business, with Sammy Kalan

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