FH Mini #37 - 8-Bit Flop House

[0:00] Okay, guys ready to start yeah, yeah, or okay again

[0:04] I'll I have a thing set up for this that I do not think will work, but we'll see we'll see if it will

[0:08] We'll see if it'll happen, okay

[0:14] Hello welcome to the flop house mini. That's right. It's a slightly smaller than usual size flop house

[0:21] We'll see whether that's true or not these are the weeks when we don't watch a bad movie

[0:25] But instead we kind of do a whatevs. I'm Elliot Kalin and joining me are my regular co-hosts and best buddies

[0:34] Dan McCoy

[0:35] Stewart Wellington and

[0:38] Just to paint a word picture for the audience

[0:40] We all look exactly as you think we would I am wearing a t-shirt and glasses Dan is wearing a t-shirt and glasses and Stewart

[0:46] is wearing an

[0:48] open

[0:49] Bathrobe with chains and not like a terrycloth bathrobe like a satin

[0:56] Red it's a red

[1:01] It's burgundy

[1:03] Okay, thank you for correcting that

[1:06] Yeah, it's like a fluffy. I like out like a fluffy robe. Yeah. Yeah, it's got black

[1:12] Trim yep like lapel trim. Yeah, well and sleeves

[1:17] Yeah, in case in case company comes over so I had a thing planned for today

[1:22] But I think instead we have we're doing an episode of the bath house

[1:25] Regular bathrobe review

[1:28] Segment just kidding guys. Okay. I'm on I'm in the driver's seat. I'm in charge of the wheel

[1:33] buckle up because it's gonna be a

[1:36] Somewhat bumpy ride if this thing I'm trying doesn't work out that well

[1:40] Do I need to do I need to pack a lunch or snacks or that would be great if you could pack like a granola bar

[1:46] Maybe like apple slices in a separate container and how far are we going because I I've got a thing a little bit later

[1:53] I mean, you should not have scheduled a thing on the night. We were recording. I

[1:57] Do I do think that that's actually accurate to our actual lives and that I'm constantly planning out the snacks

[2:04] I'm bringing places and Dan always has something more important to be doing

[2:09] Boom okay guys, let's get down to brass tacks

[2:13] Regular listeners may or may not know that we have a live show coming up. That's right

[2:17] September 25th a live show 9 p.m. Eastern 6 p.m. Pacific. We're gonna be appearing over your computer screens

[2:25] That's right. It's a live virtual show

[2:28] Just like we've done before I don't know why I'm describing it as if it's a new thing that we haven't done before

[2:32] We're gonna be talking about the movie Super Mario Brothers

[2:34] So come on and join us September 25th 9 p.m. Eastern 6 p.m. Pacific. Just Google simple ticks flophouse Super Mario Brothers

[2:42] It's easier than me trying to read out the whole URL, which is it?

[2:45] We should have come up with a short URL we could give out that would have been a good idea

[2:48] But instead it's through simple ticks flophouse Super Mario Brothers. It's gonna have new presentations

[2:52] We're gonna talk about this movie that we never talked about before the 1993 classic film Super Mario Brothers. That's right

[2:57] It's the special 28th anniversary screening not screening. We're not showing it. We're just gonna talk about it

[3:03] So I thought tonight in honor of our upcoming

[3:06] Remote live show we could talk about video game movies. Now. These are movies adapted from video games

[3:13] You guys may remember we've talked about plenty of video game movies on the podcast before which ones come to mind

[3:18] Do you remember ones?

[3:19] Prince of Persia the Sands of Time

[3:23] Assassin's Creed

[3:26] I was doing so well Sonic. Yes Sonic hedgehog. Yeah

[3:33] Stewart you got any I mean I did a mini previously where I talked about the hitman series. Uh-huh

[3:39] We just did Mortal Kombat years ago. You guys did Street Fighter the Legend of Chun-Li. Although I missed that episode

[3:45] I believe wow, man. I'm sorry. You missed it. That was that was pretty good

[3:48] I did get to watch it later and it was it was an experience. No, no McDonough is great

[3:53] I mean, yeah that goes without saying I guess

[3:56] The so we're not here to talk about Street Fighter the Legend of Chun-Li though

[4:00] We're here to talk about more generally video game movies now people have noticed

[4:03] We've had a lot of video game talk on episodes of the show lately

[4:06] I guess it's time to maybe go through the looking-glass while we talk about video game movies in this episode because anyone can talk about

[4:13] video games you guys are going to talk about video games while you play a

[4:19] Podcast video game. That's right. This is a video game with no visual element

[4:24] It is an audio video game that you will have to play a regular video game

[4:28] Not a text-based game do not describe to me with stuff in sentences. I don't I'm not interested don't care

[4:34] So you guys do you have the controllers that I sent you?

[4:40] You should both have like kind of turbo controllers that were sent to you in the mail that you've arrived to yesterday

[4:48] I'm looking I'm looking I'm looking at the picture of the package Dan on your doorstep yesterday. You didn't pick it up

[4:53] I I don't think I got it, but I have this old mad cats controller. Can I?

[4:59] That'll work. Just plug that into it

[5:02] Plug in

[5:03] Yeah, I'll just I've got a hairdryer. I'll use that. Perfect. Great. That'll do just as well

[5:09] Okay, what are the settings on the hairdryer? That'll help me figure out?

[5:13] there's

[5:15] Maximum. Okay, great. I assume the reverse is minimum

[5:21] There's also heat controls

[5:24] Maximum you know

[5:26] Dan what kind of a diffuser do you use on that because your hair looks great user

[5:30] Yeah, you what kind of fuser on your your hairdryer? You know what? This is this is a this is a

[5:35] The the secret to my hair is a little little specks of sand in the product. I use

[5:43] Sandy that's pretty cool. That's terrible. Did you mix the sand in yourself or did it come with the sand?

[5:49] It's so you look windblown like you've been to the beach. Oh

[5:53] It's like that idea that was on Seinfeld. Oh, yeah, but but but it actually it works

[6:00] So you didn't take hair product and take it to the beach and just pour sand in or a child's sandbox possibly

[6:07] No, but that does seem like a good cost-cutting measure. It does

[6:10] Yeah, I can't wait to see your new look where your hand is. Just your hand your hair is a slathered in

[6:15] Sand-filled product. I mean how how many businesses are just people taking ideas from old Seinfeld episodes?

[6:22] Like there's got to be just like a muffin tops place. There's yeah

[6:26] Get out

[6:27] You can see that Nazi thing. You can pay people to push other people and yell get out. Yeah. Yeah

[6:33] Yeah, there's a

[6:35] Kitchens that only have cereal in them

[6:37] That's a that's the thing that people have

[6:39] Have you guys ever freeze-framed on an episode of Seinfeld and looked at the VHS tapes that he has around here?

[6:43] I have not around. Oh, they so clearly just bought a bunch of surplus tapes from the store

[6:49] He has like Child's Play 2 and multiple copies of stuff like Navy SEALs like it's just

[6:55] Like imagine Jerry Seinfeld sitting down there with a big old bowl of popcorn

[7:00] ready to watch

[7:03] It's hard to imagine

[7:05] The same way that he has a bike hanging up on his wall and is very hard for me to imagine him riding a bicycle

[7:09] At any point anyway, but we're not here to talk about Seinfeld. This isn't the sign house. This is the flop house

[7:13] So guys, okay plug in Stuart your Mad Catz controller Dan your hair dryer and get ready to play the video game

[7:21] That involves talking about video game movies. That's right. The title screen is coming up. By the way, this is an 8-bit game

[7:27] I should mention an 8-bit game the title screen comes up flop dudes to streets of dragons now

[7:32] This is the game you're playing. It's a kind of a side-scroller and kind of a RPG but not much of an RPG

[7:39] It's really more of a side-scroller fighting game. So do you guys want to choose one player or two players?

[7:43] You're gonna take turns or we should probably do two players. Yeah, play together lab. Yeah. Okay, that sounds good

[7:49] okay, so you select two players and

[7:53] Okay

[7:54] Just waiting for you to press start

[7:57] Yeah, let's hit start. Okay. There you go. We're supposed to describe what we're doing

[8:01] We have to you do have to communicate it

[8:03] But so I should mention Alex if you can put in as many I should have said this earlier Alex

[8:07] If you can put as many 8-bit sound effects and musics and things like that as you can that'd be great during this

[8:11] I briefly considered

[8:14] Budget. Yeah, don't break the bank

[8:17] Briefly considered getting like a soundboard with video game sounds then I was like, but my headphones are plugged into the computer

[8:22] So the microphone is not gonna pick up any of it. So yeah, none of us would hear it

[8:26] Okay, so you press start good technical catch. Okay. Oh, it's the opening. It's the opening cutscene

[8:32] Okay here

[8:33] Oh

[8:33] I see the two the two flop dudes

[8:35] Dan and Stu burly wearing sleeveless t-shirts and jeans very tight jeans and big black boots and

[8:42] They're walking into a big corporate building now the camera pans up

[8:46] I guess we're following the elevator and

[8:48] We go to the top and now the flop dudes have are walking into a big office and there's kind of a gruff

[8:54] bald guy wearing suspenders and and a you know a business suit and everything sitting behind his desk and

[9:00] Now I'm at for this part. You have to imagine that

[9:03] I am this character animated and my mouth is just opening and closing. That's all the animation and you're hearing

[9:10] But then text comes up on the bottom of the screen and that explains reason you think okay

[9:15] All right, plop dudes. I've got another job for you. But first we're gonna talk about video game movies

[9:20] So you may already be aware the history of video game movies video games. They haven't been around as long as movies

[9:27] Were you aware of that?

[9:29] Yes

[9:31] Yeah, you gotta select. Yes

[9:33] Okay. Okay good. That'll save us some time now the first video game movies were about fictional video games

[9:40] Can you think of any of those?

[9:44] Like The Last Starfighter exactly

[9:50] That's the only one I can think okay, I also would have accepted Tron or possibly more games

[9:54] Yeah, oh, yeah two more arguably more famous than Last Starfighter sure I mean

[10:00] Nuclear war yeah, so they didn't really start making movies based on video games until the 1990s starting with Super Mario Brothers

[10:08] Which you guys will be talking about on September 25th at 9 p.m.. Eastern 6 p.m.. Pacific

[10:13] Just Google simple ticks flop house Mario Brothers

[10:16] That's how you can find the tickets now you guys the did you were you aware that the Super Mario Brothers movie was really the first?

[10:23] big budget movie based on a video game

[10:26] No, I actually didn't know that

[10:29] Yeah, I wasn't sure if that or double dragon was was the first one double dragon came after do you really think this is me?

[10:36] Talking not of myself, Stu. I would never be this rough on you

[10:39] This is a rough boss you really think they would have made a double dragon movie before a Super Mario Brothers movie like what world?

[10:44] Are you living on where they would make a movie based on not as famous a game when?

[10:49] Mario was the most recognizable video game character in the world

[10:52] But it's such an easier like thing because you don't have to make like Koopas and

[10:58] Pipes and you have to make a bobo's Koopa parachute. Oh, yeah, that's even harder

[11:03] I can look at bills like a flying turtles. Yeah, that's that is hard stuff to do shy guys

[11:10] The hard part with the shy guys is they don't want to be on camera and dry bones

[11:16] He's the dry bones, dude

[11:23] Skeleton turtle or something. Yeah. Okay. Well

[11:27] As you know video game movies don't have a great reputation. That's mostly because they're not very good

[11:32] Most of them I would posit that video game movies are kind of in the same place that comic book movies were

[11:38] 20 years ago where the people making the movies don't really care that much about the underlying properties and therefore

[11:44] They're just kind of using them as a launching-off point for whatever and they haven't figured out how to transfer

[11:48] The enjoyment you get in one form to the enjoyment you get in another medium

[11:53] What do you guys say about that?

[11:54] Can we like just mash the controller to try and skip this cutscene? You can try you can try a long time

[12:01] Yeah, normally I like porn scroll or something during cutscenes

[12:06] Which probably causes very strange like fusing in my synapses between

[12:12] That's why you're so turned on by Mass Effect's now, yeah, that's the only reason

[12:19] No, but I like to imagine though that what when you say porn scrolling you mean you take out antique scrolls of

[12:25] Like erotic art from ancient Egypt and you pour over it. Yeah

[12:30] Yes, it's like the handmaiden right where where when you want to get a boner you put on a fucking tuxedo and go to a

[12:37] Weird guy's house

[12:39] Can you leave you a fucking hot story

[12:41] To listen to a lady read you cover-to-cover an erotic hardcover book

[12:45] Yeah, do you think do you think they read the whole book in the head or is it she's just reading selections or short stories?

[12:51] I don't know man. And these guys are just sitting there the whole fucking time. Like do they have to take breaks to go fucking crank?

[13:00] He goes the beginning of the guy who runs the place he's like, thank you for joining this very exclusive very elite

[13:06] Presentation if you perchance need a break to crank it, please

[13:12] Stand up from the bleachers and go to the crank it room, which has been provided for you

[13:18] You'll notice each of you has received your own room. Please do not use another

[13:23] client's crank it room

[13:25] And does it pipe the fucking narration into the crank it room?

[13:29] Are you gonna miss parts of the story because then you'll come back and you'll be like wait what happened?

[13:34] This is a very good question

[13:36] You'll notice that the walls and door of the crank it room are quite thin so you should be able to hear the reading through

[13:41] Although conversely we can also hear you cranking in the crank it room. That's part of it

[13:46] That's part of it for me if you okay if it is then not a problem

[13:49] We only ask that you not crank it too loud so that everyone can enjoy the reading

[13:53] But if you are shy such as they the clients a next to a shy guy

[13:58] Then and do not want to be heard while you're cranking it

[14:01] Please do your best to muffle the sounds of your cranking

[14:05] However, you feel is appropriate now while you're cranking, please

[14:09] You will see a crank on the wall. That is the mink crank. Please do not yank the mink crank

[14:16] You'll notice that directly above is a sign that says do not yank

[14:19] We would appreciate it

[14:20] If you would please follow that sign and avoid yanking the main crank each crank room is of course equipped with its own main crank

[14:26] But only for emergency purposes

[14:28] Please refrain from yanking them during your normal cranking and now for the next and now our feature presentation

[14:41] And now the fisherman's wife's dream the book

[14:49] Okay guys seems like we've had enough of this cutscene time for you to get go out there and

[14:53] Save the governor's niece from the ninjas that have kidnapped her looking back

[14:57] I probably should have explained that mission more than the other stuff

[15:00] But we don't really have time you already mash the buttons and the cutscene is ending

[15:05] So get out there and save the governor's niece from the ninjas

[15:08] Okay

[15:08] so now that it it cuts to the to you kind of looking at each other in your eyebrows go up like this is gonna be

[15:13] Fun and it's fading to the next so that's the end of the cutscene now

[15:17] We see the street where the main side-scrolling level is gonna be taking place

[15:22] You guys punching punching kicking wait

[15:26] You've got to wait till you walk out. Okay, you walk out and then there's an explosion animated explosion

[15:32] Revealing a car and a governor's niece is carried into the car going

[15:36] Help me help me flop dudes and then that drives away now you can begin to move

[15:40] Okay, so I assume so you're walking down the street, right? Yeah. Yeah

[15:44] It sounds like if there's any if there's any like piles of garbage

[15:48] I would interact with them by punching or kicking yes, turkey turkey lace

[15:52] You are way ahead of me. Feel free to punch any garbage fire hydrants

[15:56] Mailboxes lampposts to see if there are coins or meat inside. Go ahead. Yeah, I'm awesome

[16:01] I'm also walking down and I'm I'm every once in a while

[16:03] I'm jumping just because it you know, I it moves a little faster that way. Yeah, let's get some jump sound effects Alex

[16:10] Just throw a bunch in and hopefully he did Dan just in case Alex didn't can you give us some homemade jump sound effects?

[16:17] sure

[16:21] Did I guess

[16:23] Wait boy, oh yoing. Did you say? Yeah, I was just throwing in a just like a wild one for

[16:30] Options. Thanks. I appreciate that

[16:32] Alex don't you just cover those up with some real 8-bit sounds if you get

[16:36] Okay, you're walking down the street. You're walking down the street punching it stuff Stuart finds some coins Dan

[16:42] Leg now Stuart finds a tricky leg and finds the coins and now oh here comes some ninjas. It's three ninjas

[16:49] There they are the three ninjas from three ninjas kickback. And so these are children you're fighting

[16:55] So, please now this is when the flop dudes really have to look inside themselves

[16:58] They're like we know that they're involved with the kidnapping of the governor's niece

[17:01] But should we be fighting the children and what do you guys do? Do you start punching and kicking?

[17:06] Of course I

[17:08] Pick up a garbage can throw it at him. Okay, you can't do that. You can't interact with the environment to that

[17:13] Okay, so you've one of the ninjas is already knocked out and he fades away revealing a VHS copy of the three ninjas kickback

[17:19] Do you pick it up?

[17:21] Sure, why not? Oh, you've actually yes

[17:24] You've lost a little life. You should not have picked that on though

[17:28] There's another ninjas doing a lot of jump kicks on you, what are you gonna do?

[17:31] Okay, so I'm gonna try and time the jump kicks for him to jump kick over me and then I'm gonna punch him in the

[17:36] Back. Okay, that's his least offended part of his body. I'm assuming unless he's a turtle

[17:41] No, these are not turtles yet

[17:44] So, okay, and it works great

[17:46] So he fades away and turns into a copy of that other three ninjas movie with Hulk Hogan in it

[17:51] Do you pick it up? Of course, I pick it up. Great. You gained some life

[17:55] Perfect extra life magic mountain hind is something like that high noon and mystery mountain madness in the marble, man

[18:02] Mayor marble bad manner marble. Yeah. Oh speaking of which here come the marbles

[18:06] Oh that third ninja ran away and he but he whistled and some marbles are coming down

[18:11] You guys are you gonna try to punch and kick them?

[18:15] I try and time it and jump over them. Okay, good Dan. You're gonna go. Okay good. Don't try to punch and kick those marbles

[18:21] They'll just roll you over and then you sit up and there's little birdies around your head and you lose some life

[18:25] Okay, great. So you've got past those ninjas. Oh more ninjas, but these ones are turtles. What are you gonna do? Oh,

[18:32] I throw a pizza at them

[18:35] Okay, I should have mentioned these are not ninja turtles mutants

[18:38] These are just regular turtles that have trained under a ninja master and are now ninjas. They're very small. I don't think they eat pizza

[18:45] Well, I mean that's it's important to learn. Okay, Dan, show me show me the pictures or video you have a regular turtles eating

[18:53] Right, I don't have any yet on my phone. You're right. You're right because it's currently but I imagine a lot of herpetologists

[18:59] We're watching the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and being like sure they're ninjas and they're mutants, but eating pizza is not so out of the ordinary

[19:05] They're if they're regular-sized turtles. I pick them up carefully and return them to the water. Okay, that's very sweet of you

[19:12] That's very sweet

[19:13] you can get diseases that way but this time you don't and you get you get you hear like a

[19:17] And that means you got extra little turtle care points and you can redeem those turtle care points at a Petco near you for turtle

[19:24] Food which in this case is pizza. So I guess you got you were right. I'm just looking at the edit right now

[19:29] I guess I guess you can't have pizza for turtles. Okay, you're moving along

[19:33] Okay

[19:33] Now you have a choice of one of three buildings to walk into one is marked school

[19:38] One is marked police station and one is marked the bank

[19:41] Which one do you walk in to look for the governor's niece Dan, where do you where do you think they would hold the governor's niece?

[19:49] Well, probably not in a police station because that's where criminals don't like to go unless you

[19:58] Someone hasn't seen

[20:00] Uh, hasn't seen, uh, Low Winter Sun, because, or The Shield, because there's quite a lot of corrupt characters in the police.

[20:08] Well, no, I mean, not those criminals, obviously. There are a lot of corrupt cops. I'm just saying that, uh, kidnappers don't like to walk straight into the police department.

[20:17] That's fair, that's fair. You may still need to go in there someday.

[20:19] As a strategy.

[20:20] But which, okay.

[20:21] Plus there are Terminators or something.

[20:22] That's true. Which, so do you want to go into the school?

[20:24] Yeah. Let's go into the school.

[20:26] Okay, you walk into the school, and it fades out, and then it fades back in. We're seeing a classroom, and again, animation of you guys walking on, you can't do anything yet.

[20:36] Okay, and the teacher turns to you and says, it's those flop dudes. Get them!

[20:42] This is like a word balloon that appears above their head, and they're like, bop bop bop bop bop bop bop.

[20:46] It's those flop dudes, get them. Uh oh, it's a classroom full of like ten kids, and they're wearing, uh, it's real, um, you know, Battle Royale stuff.

[20:54] They're all wearing like private school uniforms, and they are ready to attack you.

[20:57] Guys, are you going to fight back, or are you going to run out of this room like a couple of whiny babies?

[21:01] So I pick up a desk and throw it at the kids.

[21:04] Excellent, you can interact with the environment in this one.

[21:07] Yes, you pick up the desk, you take out two kids, they fade away and turn into Go-Gurt.

[21:12] Are you going to pick that up?

[21:13] Yeah, of course.

[21:14] Okay, great. Adds to your health, that's fantastic.

[21:16] Dan, what are you doing?

[21:17] I'm going to pick up the erasers, and I'm going to clap them to create a cloud of dust.

[21:22] You can't do that.

[21:23] Under the cover of dust?

[21:25] No, you can't do that.

[21:27] What?

[21:28] This is an 8-bit video game, there's only so much you can interact with the environment.

[21:31] You can pick stuff up and throw it.

[21:32] Okay, I pick up an eraser and I throw it.

[21:34] You can't, it's just part of the background.

[21:36] It causes a cloud of dust.

[21:38] Oh, man.

[21:39] I mean, there's other desks, there's the teacher's desk.

[21:41] If you really want to pick something up and throw it, you can just punch some of these kids.

[21:44] Are there any Battletoads around?

[21:46] That's a good question.

[21:47] Some of the students are Battletoads, you notice as you hit them and their masks come off.

[21:52] Uh-oh, this is going to be harder than you think.

[21:54] And some of them are waving chains in the air.

[21:57] In fact, there's one coming at you waving a chain in the air.

[21:59] What do you do?

[22:00] Okay, well, I visited the game NARC earlier and picked up some needles that I throw.

[22:07] This is not a thing you can do.

[22:09] I don't know what you can do.

[22:11] All right, I punched them.

[22:12] Okay, thanks.

[22:13] I don't know what gumby video game you've been living in where you can go to other video games and bring stuff in with you.

[22:19] Yeah, it seems like an ad for a game genie that you would see in the back of a computer magazine.

[22:25] Yeah, I don't know what kind of Smash Brothers world you think this is where all the video game characters live together and fight all the time.

[22:31] Okay, so you punched.

[22:32] That's great.

[22:33] You timed the punch pretty well, but unfortunately another student with a chain hit you in the back of the head, so you lost some life points on that one.

[22:39] And while you're in the middle of this very dangerous scene, it seems like a good place for an advertisement.

[22:45] Dan, I believe we have a sponsor today.

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[25:01] We take care of it for you on We Got This with Mark and Hal.

[25:04] That's right, Hal.

[25:05] If you have a subjective question that you want answered objectively once and for all time for all of the people of the world, questions like who's the best Disney villain, Mac or PC, or should you put ketchup on a hot dog?

[25:20] That's why we're here.

[25:21] Yes, I get that.

[25:22] These are the biggest question of our time.

[25:23] And we're often joined by special guests like Nathan Fillion, Orlando Jones and Paget Brewster.

[25:29] So let Mark and Hal take care of it for you on We Got This with Mark and Hal weekly on Maximum Fun.

[25:35] Hey, I'm Janet Varney, host of the JV Club podcast.

[25:39] Ah, high school.

[25:41] Was it a time of adventure, romance and discovery?

[25:44] Class of 95, we did it!

[25:48] Or a time of angst, disappointment and confusion.

[25:53] We're all tied together by four years of trauma at this place, but enjoy adulthood, I guess.

[25:59] The truth is, it was both.

[26:02] So join me on the JV Club podcast where I invite some great friends like Kristen Bell, Angela Kinsey, Oscar Nunez, Neil Patrick Harris and Keegun Michael Key to talk about high school, the good, the bad and everything in between.

[26:15] Teenage mood swings are getting harder to manage.

[26:17] The JV Club, find it on Maximum Fun.

[26:20] And back to you, Ellie.

[26:22] Okay, and thanks for that, Dan.

[26:24] Thanks to our sponsors.

[26:25] We're now back to the continuing adventure of Flop Dudes 2, Streets of Dragons for the NES and Sega Master System.

[26:30] Now, Dan.

[26:32] So what I now do is I grab Dan's hands and then that allows him to do like a jump kick maneuver.

[26:38] And we do a team up.

[26:41] Okay, and while you're doing.

[26:42] Okay, so that.

[26:43] Like a fastball special.

[26:44] Yeah.

[26:45] But with more kicking.

[26:46] Yeah, that creates a liking.

[26:47] It's almost an energy blast that wipes out all the kids.

[26:50] The teacher is still there and the teacher is shaking their hands at you.

[26:53] And then a word balloon comes up and it says, hey, you flop dudes.

[26:57] What video game movie memories do you have?

[27:00] So I think to get through this level, you're going to talk about some video game movie memories.

[27:04] Do you have any particular memories of seeing them in the theaters?

[27:06] Ones that you particularly liked or didn't like?

[27:09] I remember seeing Doom in the movie theater with Carl Urban.

[27:14] You know, big time fave Carl Urban fan.

[27:16] You know, he was Aomer and the Lord of the Rings as well as a bunch of other shit.

[27:20] He's dread and Judge Dredd.

[27:21] You know, all that shit.

[27:22] Sure.

[27:23] Yeah.

[27:24] And it's got Dwayne The Rock Johnson in a rare villain role.

[27:27] He's not often the villain.

[27:29] And it has it's known for having a sequence that's like a first person like shooter type sequence.

[27:37] And I remember not being particularly impressed with it.

[27:41] Did you guys ever see that one?

[27:42] I never saw it, but I remember when – I think it might have been Dwayne Johnson.

[27:47] He was coming on The Daily Show to promote Doom.

[27:49] And if I remember correctly, the clip they showed was just close-ups, like panning close-ups of the huge gun that he carries in Doom.

[27:56] And then he goes like, that's some gun.

[27:58] And that was the whole clip.

[28:00] Like really?

[28:01] That was the promotional clip?

[28:02] Just close-ups of this big gun?

[28:04] OK.

[28:06] But do you think – so do you think it was successful or not successful, them trying to replicate the video game experience with a first person shooting scene?

[28:15] I mean I think they obviously attempted.

[28:18] I don't think it was particularly successful.

[28:21] And I think it also goes to – I mean you're trying to recreate something that has – I mean I think the later Doom games have a storyline, but only barely.

[28:31] I mean it's basically an excuse to blow the shit out of some demons with cool guns.

[28:36] So I don't know.

[28:38] It feels unnecessary, right?

[28:41] I mean I get that they're trying to bring the game mechanics into the movie, but you're right.

[28:45] It's – the feel of a first person shooter video game is different from the feel of a first person movie sequence where you feel as if anything, your body has been hijacked.

[28:55] You are – or you're the homunculus from the Martin Amis book Time's Arrow that is just inside the head of the hero watching everything through the hero's eyes, but not really participating.

[29:04] That's how you describe most POV stuff you watch, right?

[29:07] Yeah, basically.

[29:09] I mean at this point, there's only two kinds of POV stuff I see, and it's video games and another thing.

[29:15] But Dan, what about you?

[29:17] Any particular video game movie memories or moments or magic?

[29:21] I've – yeah, I was quiet for a while because I was looking up some things.

[29:25] I remember watching –

[29:27] POV stuff? Not while we're recording, Dan, please.

[29:29] Street Fighter for the first time and being just delighted.

[29:34] I mean like as you've mentioned before, there aren't a lot of good video game movies.

[29:46] I was going to say unfortunately.

[29:48] I actually have no particular –

[29:50] I mean it doesn't matter.

[29:52] I mean other than what – like Synecdoche, New York is kind of an adaptation of SimCity, right?

[29:56] It is.

[29:58] But like I –

[30:00] As a aficionado of the crap and the detritus of pop culture,

[30:06] they are a goldmine,

[30:07] and I remember watching Street Fighter for the first time,

[30:10] and it is a delight in a camp way.

[30:16] Raul Julia puts in a great performance, sadly,

[30:19] you know, while dying,

[30:22] but he does a great job in a bad movie.

[30:26] Stephen E. DeSouza, who wrote it,

[30:28] I think I read somewhere that he wrote it in like a weekend,

[30:31] but I'm maybe making that up.

[30:35] But, and I also remember-

[30:36] That's a fucking goal right there,

[30:38] to write a Street Fighter movie in a weekend

[30:40] and get Raul Julia to fucking do it.

[30:43] Yeah.

[30:44] I also remember when I was-

[30:45] I mean, I don't think it was the beauty of the script

[30:47] that convinced Raul Julia to take on the role of

[30:49] fucking Bison. No, but it's like,

[30:50] it feels like you're doing a bit, right?

[30:52] Where you're like, let's see if I can get him to do this.

[30:55] Let's see if we can get him to wear this hat.

[30:58] Yeah, let's see if he'll do a Psycho Crusher.

[31:03] I feel like maybe like the Tomb Raider movies

[31:06] are kind of fun.

[31:08] Am I misremembering them?

[31:10] I mean, the Tomb Raider movies,

[31:11] it kind of helps them that they're essentially

[31:13] Indiana Jones, the game, right?

[31:15] That they're a little bit closer to a movie already

[31:17] than Street Fighter,

[31:19] which is just a tournament of monsters.

[31:21] And Angelina Jolie, I think is a pretty-

[31:25] I think Angelina Jolie is a pretty fun, like, action hero.

[31:29] Yeah.

[31:30] I remember just being bored by the Tomb Raider movies,

[31:34] but I remember enjoying the new one

[31:37] with Alicia Vikander surprisingly well.

[31:41] And I saw it on the cruise to Alaska

[31:45] that I was on with you two. Oh, cool.

[31:48] When you were all downstairs watching the stand-up comic,

[31:54] whoever was booked on that cruise,

[31:56] I was underneath a blanket under the rain,

[32:00] upstairs on the deck watching.

[32:04] I think you made the right choice.

[32:05] I feel like that comic probably has some firm opinions

[32:09] about cancel culture.

[32:12] I like, Dan, though, that you spent a lot of money

[32:14] to be on a cruise, and then you're like,

[32:15] I think I'll watch Tomb Raider while I'm here.

[32:18] Hey, man.

[32:19] What can I not do at home?

[32:20] I watch a lot-

[32:21] The movies play, and I'll seek it out.

[32:22] I watch a lot of episodes of The Love Boat,

[32:25] which was playing constantly on that cruise.

[32:28] At least that's thematically appropriate.

[32:30] Yeah.

[32:31] It's either that or speed, too.

[32:33] And it was a princess cruise,

[32:34] and princess cruises are like,

[32:36] there's like a love boat tie-in already.

[32:39] Oh, I see.

[32:40] Well, now the teacher in the school says,

[32:41] okay, that's good.

[32:42] You can leave now.

[32:44] There's no niece here.

[32:45] So you guys tromp back out on the street.

[32:47] You got two places you can go next,

[32:48] the bank or the police station.

[32:50] Let's go fuck up a bank, dude.

[32:53] Okay, guys.

[32:54] Ooh, bad choice.

[32:56] This is one of those annoying puzzle levels

[32:58] where you got to move a bunch of blocks around.

[33:01] Okay, no one likes these.

[33:02] These are the worst levels ever.

[33:04] Can I just look up a wiki

[33:08] to how to complete the puzzle?

[33:09] Yeah, look up a walkthrough or a cheat on this.

[33:11] Yeah, while you're doing that-

[33:14] Half the shrines in Breath of the Wild,

[33:16] I'm like, fuck this.

[33:17] Or like the only way to get through Myst

[33:19] was to just buy the book that was like,

[33:22] flip the switch this way 10 times.

[33:24] You're like, okay, there was no way

[33:25] I was going to figure that out on my own.

[33:28] So while Stuart's looking up the walkthrough

[33:29] for this police station puzzle section,

[33:31] oh, sorry, the bank puzzle section,

[33:33] Dan, why do you think video game movies

[33:36] don't usually work that well?

[33:37] It's a puzzle in its own way.

[33:44] Well, the early ones,

[33:48] the problem was that there just wasn't enough

[33:52] to build out a plot.

[33:57] And like, I think that something like Super Mario Brothers,

[34:00] which I actually have never seen,

[34:01] I'm looking very much forward to watching it for the show.

[34:05] I'm excited about it.

[34:07] But it is my understanding that they dealt with that

[34:09] by just like making up a bunch of weird stuff.

[34:12] Oh yeah, the whole thing.

[34:14] Which, you know, may not have worked in this instance,

[34:18] but I think is a better way, at least,

[34:21] of going about it than a lot of people

[34:23] who seem to have just like taken these games

[34:27] with very basic concepts

[34:29] and then not done any of that thought to change it.

[34:33] You're talking about like that Qbert movie

[34:35] that was literally just him jumping around on blocks?

[34:38] Yep.

[34:38] And it was like, why is Paul Giamatti doing this role?

[34:44] I mean, what was that movie where he got covered

[34:51] in blue paint with Frankie Muniz?

[34:53] Oh, Big Fat Liar.

[34:55] Yeah, Big Fat Liar, yeah.

[34:57] Somebody, this reminds me, speaking of Paul Giamatti,

[34:58] sorry, that on our last episode,

[35:01] when my son Sammy was on,

[35:02] we were talking about the restaurant, P. Soup Anderson's,

[35:04] and someone tweeted at me, oh, you should go there.

[35:06] And then it's real close

[35:07] to where they shot some of Sideways.

[35:09] So you can see where Paul Giamatti was in Sideways.

[35:11] And I was like, yeah, my kid's gonna love that.

[35:13] Yeah, yeah, Sammy hasn't ever had Merlot

[35:19] because of Giamatti's character's thoughts on the matter.

[35:24] No, I, the other, but I wanted to say the more recent,

[35:29] you know, video games obviously

[35:31] have a lot more sophisticated storytelling,

[35:33] but at that point you have the sophisticated storytelling

[35:37] and then you're taking away at a movie

[35:40] the one thing that makes a video game more unique,

[35:44] which is the interactivity.

[35:46] You're removing one of the lodestones

[35:49] of what a video game is at that point.

[35:51] You're saying, because a video game is not a,

[35:53] even though some do deliver stories,

[35:55] it is not essentially a story,

[35:58] a narrative delivering system.

[35:59] It is an interaction delivering system.

[36:01] So you're saying that,

[36:03] so you're saying it's not based on a video game,

[36:05] but probably the best adaptation

[36:06] of the idea of video games to movies was Mr. Payback.

[36:10] The movie that let you choose what would happen next.

[36:12] Classic.

[36:14] I still haven't seen it.

[36:15] You're making it sound really cool.

[36:17] I mean, it's all up on YouTube.

[36:18] It's terrible, but you should go see.

[36:21] So Stu, it looks, have you figured out how to do the puzzle

[36:25] or do you want to answer the question?

[36:26] I just, I just did the puzzle.

[36:29] Oh, great.

[36:30] Okay, it unlocks a door and behind the door

[36:33] you see there's a box.

[36:35] What are you going to do with that box?

[36:36] I'm going to open the box to get my treasure.

[36:39] Well, there's only one way to open up,

[36:40] there's a couple of ways to open the box.

[36:42] You can punch it or kick it or throw it.

[36:43] Yeah, I'm going to punch it.

[36:45] Uh-oh.

[36:47] Ooh, inside was a person.

[36:48] You should not have punched that box.

[36:50] And they say, no, the governor's niece.

[36:52] Which of those three options

[36:53] would have not been a problem?

[36:54] Yeah, exactly.

[36:55] Dave, blame the player, not the game.

[36:57] Look, you should have been able to,

[36:59] maybe you shouldn't have punched,

[37:00] maybe it shouldn't have been so important

[37:01] for you to punch this box or open it at all.

[37:03] It's none of your business.

[37:04] Walk into a building and do a puzzle

[37:06] and there's a box behind,

[37:07] do you think you can just open it up?

[37:08] That's a good point, good point.

[37:10] Blame the player, not the game.

[37:12] That was where I went wrong

[37:13] in a lot of my breakup confessionals

[37:16] with girlfriends, girlfriends.

[37:17] So it's inside's a person,

[37:19] let's go, oh, the governor's niece

[37:20] is in another building.

[37:22] Sorry, guys, I guess you did that puzzle for nothing.

[37:24] Nope, wait, a little star floats around.

[37:27] Dan, you want to grab that star?

[37:29] Yeah, I do, but why does this person

[37:31] have any inside knowledge on the governor's niece

[37:35] considering that they've been inside a box?

[37:37] That information is not applicable right now.

[37:40] Yeah, it doesn't say.

[37:41] I'll grab that star.

[37:43] Okay, you hear a little fanfare and it says,

[37:46] oh, you just got 14 Nintend bucks.

[37:50] Nintend bucks can be redeemed for free Nintendo merchandise,

[37:54] valid until January 15th, 1987.

[37:57] So I think enjoy that.

[38:00] I don't know what you can do with it now.

[38:02] Yeah, great stuff.

[38:03] Are we playing this on like a Raspberry Pi or something?

[38:06] How'd we get this emulator?

[38:07] A Raspberry Pi?

[38:11] It's like a mini computer.

[38:13] Okay.

[38:14] Not the food.

[38:16] I wasn't sure, and I was like,

[38:18] I'm not, is this like some kind of sex slang

[38:21] I've never heard before?

[38:22] Every once in a while, I'll make jokes

[38:24] that I know neither of you will get,

[38:25] but I'm assuming somebody who's listening will.

[38:28] Yeah, yeah, that's my Twitter feed.

[38:31] It's just jokes for my own benefit.

[38:33] Very clear, very clear.

[38:36] I think that should be your Twitter bio

[38:38] is just jokes for my own benefit.

[38:41] Okay, guys, you walk back out onto the street.

[38:43] So you've been to, that was what, the bank?

[38:45] Yeah.

[38:46] Okay, you've been to the bank.

[38:47] We have to go to the police station now.

[38:48] You gotta go to the police station.

[38:48] Okay, so you're gonna walk in?

[38:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's fuck it up.

[38:53] Okay, you walk in the police station.

[38:54] Uh-oh, guys, boss level, boss level, boss level.

[38:58] You walk in and there's a guy,

[39:00] there's a police officer at a desk

[39:02] and then he hurls the desk away and he goes,

[39:04] ah, and there's flashing lights

[39:06] and his uniform rips as he gets bigger and bigger

[39:08] and he turns into kind of a bull man,

[39:10] like a half bull, half man,

[39:11] kind of like the Chicago Bulls mascot logo,

[39:14] but it's complete with the steam

[39:16] puffing out of his nostrils in it.

[39:18] And now he starts running back and forth across the screen.

[39:21] Uh-oh, Dan, you don't get out of the way in time

[39:24] and it knocks you down.

[39:26] And a little animated ghost starts coming out of your body

[39:29] and it says, continue, question mark?

[39:31] Now, Stu, are you gonna use your extra life

[39:34] that you picked up before to bring Dan back,

[39:37] to help you with this boss?

[39:38] Yeah, yeah, because I need somebody to distract the boss.

[39:41] Okay, great.

[39:41] So I can kick him in the back.

[39:43] So Dan's, there's a little 8-bit animation

[39:45] of Dan's ghost hovering up into heaven

[39:47] and then a big hand comes out and goes, whoa,

[39:50] and shoves Dan's ghost back into his body

[39:52] and a single tear goes down the ghost's face

[39:55] because it's going back to this veil of tears,

[39:57] this land of pain that we call life.

[40:00] I thought it was time to rest, finally.

[40:02] No, because you've got this bull guy to fight.

[40:04] So the bull guy, he's running across the screen.

[40:06] Oh, he's running towards you guys.

[40:07] Are you guys going to time it to jump to get over him?

[40:09] Yeah, I'm going to watch the pattern of the running and jump at appropriate times.

[40:14] Okay, great. You do it.

[40:15] You jump, and he bangs his head on like a bell that's been set up,

[40:19] like kind of at Coyote Ugly, like if you order whatever drink it is.

[40:23] Is it the bell the cops set up when they arrest somebody, so they ring it?

[40:27] No, it's the bell they ring when someone calls with a ghost sighting and Janine goes,

[40:31] We got one!

[40:32] Oh, that makes sense.

[40:34] Yeah, because it turns out this isn't actually a real police station.

[40:37] It's an abandoned police station that's now a Ghostbusters facility.

[40:40] Oh, perfect.

[40:42] But they hadn't finished putting up the new sign yet.

[40:44] So this is actually probably a ghost bull man that you're fighting.

[40:47] Right now it just says Hostbusters, which is very confusing.

[40:51] Yeah, they're buying the letters on the installment plan backwards.

[40:54] Yeah.

[40:55] So people think they're going in there like,

[40:57] I think that the host at my restaurant has been giving away free meals to his friends.

[41:03] I need you to stake him out and find out.

[41:05] And they're like, sorry, sir.

[41:06] We get that a lot.

[41:07] This is not actually Hostbusters.

[41:08] We haven't got the full sign up just yet.

[41:10] Well, that's very confusing.

[41:13] Yeah.

[41:14] Well, before we put the H.O. up, people thought it was S.T. Busters, like Street Busters,

[41:18] and they keep coming to us to like say for to borrow Jack's car.

[41:22] They keep coming to us to like say for to borrow jackhammers and things like that.

[41:25] We don't have that kind of equipment.

[41:27] And while they still have the jackhammers for dealing with renegade hosts, you know.

[41:33] Yeah.

[41:35] Exactly.

[41:36] Et cetera.

[41:37] Et cetera.

[41:38] And so you know exactly where that would go.

[41:41] Let's continue doing this bit.

[41:42] Okay.

[41:43] So this ghost bull, you got to keep jumping.

[41:46] So now at this point also you have lasers.

[41:49] Did I not mention that before?

[41:51] We have lasers or there's lasers that we have to deal with?

[41:54] Both.

[41:55] You have lasers that you can use to shoot the ghost bull guy, but also there's lasers

[41:59] shooting out of his horns and out of little eyes that have opened up at the top of the screen.

[42:03] Very Contra.

[42:04] And so you have to jump out of those lasers and you got to shoot the bull guy and you

[42:08] can't let him run into you.

[42:10] So it's a very elaborate timing.

[42:11] Some would say too difficult for a first level boss.

[42:13] Yeah.

[42:14] It's turning into like a bullet hell type game.

[42:16] Yeah.

[42:17] But that's the thing about Flop Dudes 2 is it's got a very steep learning curve.

[42:20] First you're just punching lampposts and mailboxes and finding meat inside.

[42:25] Suddenly you're dodging lasers.

[42:26] It's like Dark Souls.

[42:27] So what are you guys going to do?

[42:28] Are you going to dodge lasers and defeat the boss?

[42:30] Yeah.

[42:31] I think we probably should, right?

[42:33] Is there any sort of like body part that seems to be more prominent than the others or different

[42:41] color or flashes more when you shoot it?

[42:44] That's a very good question.

[42:45] Are there chunks of armor that shake when we shoot them and then eventually fall off?

[42:49] Well, you'll notice that happens to his horns.

[42:51] His horns fall off.

[42:52] And each time he does, he goes wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

[42:55] Like he gives you like a mean look.

[42:57] And then he goes back to running.

[42:58] And then you'll also notice that his suspenders are getting looser.

[43:03] So I think you're going to have to shoot those suspenders to make his pants fly.

[43:06] That's some killer graphics.

[43:08] These are 8-bit graphics.

[43:10] They did a great job with it.

[43:12] They really made these sprites detailed back then.

[43:14] Yeah.

[43:15] Okay.

[43:16] So you're going to aim at the suspenders while the lasers are shooting around?

[43:17] Yeah.

[43:18] Okay.

[43:19] You'll notice the wall opens up and a bunch of robot dogs run in.

[43:22] But that's just animation in the background.

[43:24] That doesn't actually affect the gameplay.

[43:25] Oh, so they're like spectators in a Street Fighter.

[43:27] Exactly.

[43:28] Yeah.

[43:29] They're like spectators in Space Jam, A New Legacy.

[43:31] They're constantly pumping their dog fists in the air and just yelling.

[43:34] No matter what's going on.

[43:35] Exactly.

[43:36] Even during the timeouts.

[43:37] So, okay.

[43:38] You're still shooting lasers at his suspenders?

[43:40] Yeah, of course.

[43:41] Okay.

[43:42] His pants fall down, revealing boxer shorts with hearts on them.

[43:45] He's very embarrassed and he trips and falls from the pants on his ankles.

[43:50] Onto a letter opener.

[43:52] Onto a letter opener.

[43:53] Blood everywhere.

[43:54] It's all over the screen.

[43:55] And actually Dan's sprite vomits on camera.

[44:01] And Stuart is just shaking his head and he's covering his eyes.

[44:04] This is not anything everyone will see.

[44:06] He knew when he became a flopped dude that life would be tough.

[44:09] That he'd have to be tough to survive.

[44:11] But he didn't realize that this was what he was signing up for.

[44:13] Yeah.

[44:14] Little animated tears are shooting out the side of my head.

[44:16] Yeah.

[44:17] And it's at this moment that the whole ground starts to shake.

[44:22] And the big boss shows up.

[44:25] The floor opens up and you guys fall into a pit.

[44:28] Wait.

[44:29] Big boss from the fucking Metal Gear Solid series?

[44:32] No.

[44:33] Don't take it literally.

[44:34] No.

[44:35] This is the game boss.

[44:36] It's a one level game with a little boss level at the end.

[44:39] You're actually in hell itself.

[44:41] You're in hell.

[44:42] And there's Satan and he's huge.

[44:44] It's just like Dante described him.

[44:46] He has three heads and each head is chewing on a different historical traitor.

[44:49] Judas, Brutus, and I think Cassius is the other one.

[44:52] And his waist is encased in ice.

[44:54] You never updated that shit?

[44:56] Name a traitor that was as, I guess Benedict Arnold is in there.

[44:59] Sure.

[45:00] Yeah.

[45:01] Why did the devil kidnap this girl?

[45:04] Like.

[45:05] Dan.

[45:06] Dan.

[45:07] We don't have quite.

[45:08] This is the governor's niece.

[45:09] We don't have time to.

[45:10] We've got to save her.

[45:11] He starts pounding on the ice you're on and then he looks at you and a word balloon comes

[45:14] out and says, if you could make a movie out of any video game, what video game would you

[45:19] make into a movie?

[45:21] It's a good question.

[45:22] Oh man.

[45:25] You know, this is, I.

[45:29] There is a time limit.

[45:30] Okay.

[45:31] I, we mentioned it before.

[45:33] You know, I really loved Marble Madness when I was a kid.

[45:37] It's a, it's a movie.

[45:39] It's a movie.

[45:40] It's a game that like, you know, in the, in the arcade with the big games, like I forget

[45:50] what they're called.

[45:51] Cabinets.

[45:52] They have the track.

[45:53] What?

[45:54] Like arcade game cabinets.

[45:55] You mean?

[45:56] Yeah.

[45:57] The cabinets.

[45:58] Like it would have the track pad, of course.

[45:59] And that was kind of the fun of it was that you were literally controlling a ball with

[46:03] a ball.

[46:04] And it was a one to one controller.

[46:07] And at home, you know, you had to sort of use the Nintendo controller and figure out

[46:11] how to make that do subtle, like diagonal movements and stuff.

[46:16] But I got really good at Marble Madness.

[46:19] And I think that just the challenge of trying to turn that into an narrative.

[46:24] Pick up that challenge for extra bonus points.

[46:26] How would you do it?

[46:27] The cosmic.

[46:28] Pitch me the Marble Madness movie.

[46:33] Oh boy.

[46:35] So maybe I will take madness literally.

[46:40] And this is like a look inside the brain of someone who has become trapped in their own

[46:50] head.

[46:51] And and we're we've put our our our thought bubble.

[46:57] We are like incepting this head with our thought idea that we've sent in and this marble into

[47:05] this brain scape.

[47:06] And it has to pilot itself around different pitfalls to wake up this human who has been

[47:17] entrapped.

[47:18] And who's the hero?

[47:19] What do they get?

[47:20] Tell me who the hero is.

[47:21] Does he have a team?

[47:23] Every time you inject someone into someone else, it's got to be Dennis Quaid.

[47:28] Okay.

[47:29] So it's that.

[47:30] So the hero is played by Dennis Quaid or the hero is Dennis Quaid.

[47:33] Is actor Dennis Quaid.

[47:34] And if that's the case, then who's playing Dennis Quaid?

[47:37] Dennis Quaid is being played by Alden Ehrenreich.

[47:40] Okay.

[47:41] Makes sense.

[47:42] Obvious choice for a young Dennis Quaid.

[47:44] But they're bringing him in.

[47:47] Yeah.

[47:48] They the people thought they're like, oh, they saw inner space.

[47:51] They thought that Dennis Quaid could help.

[47:53] They don't understand.

[47:55] They only understand science.

[47:57] They don't understand how stories work.

[47:59] Okay.

[48:00] And so this is young Dennis Quaid.

[48:01] So it's like him right after inner space came out.

[48:03] Yeah.

[48:04] This isn't like movie 43 Dennis Quaid.

[48:06] No.

[48:07] Or movie 45 Dennis Quaid.

[48:09] Do you think.

[48:10] Which is just a 45th movie and not movie 43.

[48:13] Do you think Dennis Quaid and Robert Picardo hung out a lot when they were making inner

[48:18] space?

[48:19] I mean, I hope so.

[48:20] I mean, the fact that they were known as Picardo around the set.

[48:23] I think.

[48:24] Pretty clear.

[48:25] Yeah.

[48:26] I mean, the only person who was closer to Dennis Quaid was probably Quado.

[48:30] And that's why.

[48:31] That's why he's calling for Quaid in the movie Total Recall.

[48:34] They had to change the script because it didn't make sense.

[48:38] Quado.

[48:39] And it sounded like Quado.

[48:40] I was trying to get there, Elliot, because I knew that there was a Quaid in that movie.

[48:47] And yeah, the fact that we both got there because of a slight similarity in sound.

[48:57] Do you think Quado's mad that Wado is so popular?

[49:01] You have to assume that his older brother.

[49:03] Yeah.

[49:04] Yeah.

[49:05] Because they're brothers.

[49:06] I guess his younger brother Wado.

[49:07] Yeah.

[49:08] Well, you have to imagine he's like you have to imagine Quado is like, I know they wanted

[49:11] me for that role.

[49:12] And there's probably a typo on the call sheet.

[49:14] And they ended up with Wado.

[49:15] That hack.

[49:16] Instead, they could have had Quado.

[49:17] That would have been the renaissance.

[49:19] Dan, there's a bit that that our mutual friend Eric used to do, who he's the one whose comedy

[49:26] theater is where we met you and I, where we used to do where we're where Quado was a Hollywood

[49:31] casting agent.

[49:32] And it was always was always pitching Dennis Quaid for every role.

[49:37] And they'd be like, they say, so who should who do we think of Quado?

[49:41] You have an idea.

[49:42] You have an idea.

[49:43] Please stand up so we can see Quado because Quado would be his host body would be sitting

[49:47] down at a conference table.

[49:49] Could you please stand up so we can see Quado?

[49:51] Quado, who do you think would be right for this role?

[49:54] Quaid.

[49:55] It's unorthodox for the Clara Barton story.

[49:58] But yeah, OK, let's give Randy Quaid a go.

[50:00] Well, no, no, Dennis Quaid.

[50:01] Okay, you gotta be more specific.

[50:03] You can't just say Quaid.

[50:05] Yeah.

[50:06] So, Stuart, any video games

[50:07] you would like to see made into movies?

[50:09] Yeah, I mean, again,

[50:10] we're gonna go a little old school with this.

[50:12] I'm gonna say Ghosts and Goblins.

[50:15] You got a great hero, Arthur, the little knight guy.

[50:18] He's got a ton of cool weapons.

[50:19] So, man, that's gonna look great.

[50:22] There's all kinds of spooky monsters.

[50:25] You guys know me, I like spooky monsters.

[50:27] And, also, you can have that running gag

[50:30] where he keeps getting hit and his armor falls off

[50:32] and he's just wearing little boxer shorts.

[50:33] Yeah.

[50:34] I mean, that does sound really fun, yeah.

[50:36] I would love that,

[50:37] because if you make it into a movie,

[50:38] maybe I will see more than, like,

[50:41] the first level of Ghosts and Goblins.

[50:43] It's fucking hard.

[50:46] It's such a hard game.

[50:47] It's why they need to release a Dragon's Lair movie,

[50:48] because there's no way to see

[50:49] the rest of the animation in there.

[50:51] Yeah, you can just go on YouTube.

[50:53] It's available.

[50:54] Oh, it's all there, oh, okay.

[50:55] And, in case you're wondering, for me,

[50:58] I know they've tried to develop it

[50:59] in the past couple years,

[51:00] but I've always been wondering

[51:01] why they didn't try to make a Mega Man movie before now.

[51:04] Mega Man is, like, he's such a cool little character guy,

[51:07] and his world is so full of different types of robots

[51:11] and things.

[51:11] And I love the old box art

[51:14] where they tried to make him look more like a human,

[51:17] and it always looks fucking crazy.

[51:19] Yeah, it looks bizarre,

[51:21] because that character makes sense

[51:23] as a little cartoon guy with no nose,

[51:25] but he does not make sense as a real dude

[51:28] wearing that weird blue outfit.

[51:31] Yeah, it's like if they made a human kid dress up

[51:34] and look exactly like Astro Boy,

[51:36] you'd be like, no, no, no thank you.

[51:39] You'd be like, put some pants on that child.

[51:42] Why is his hair, or like Bob's big boy?

[51:44] If that was an actual kid,

[51:46] you'd be like, no, I don't think so.

[51:49] And also, because Mega Man 2, I still say has,

[51:52] at least for that era,

[51:53] has the best soundtrack of any of the games.

[51:56] It's got great music, it's a great game, Mega Man 2.

[51:58] Mega Man.

[51:59] Yes, he was called Rock Man in Japan, I know, Dan.

[52:02] No, no, no, he fights a bunch of robots,

[52:07] but he's not a robot himself,

[52:09] because at the end, he, like, right?

[52:11] Because at the end, when he's walking home,

[52:13] he takes off his helmet and leaves it at the-

[52:16] He's like a cyborg, you know?

[52:18] He does have a laser cannon for a hand, you know?

[52:21] I believe, because it's Dr. what, Light?

[52:24] Dr. Bright?

[52:25] Is the one who-

[52:25] Dr. Light, yeah.

[52:26] Dr. Light Bright.

[52:27] Dr. Light Bright.

[52:28] He uses light brights to-

[52:29] It's communicating.

[52:30] Take over the world.

[52:31] He's like, I've got a lot to tell you,

[52:32] but hold on a second,

[52:33] I've got to plant all these little bulbs.

[52:34] Mm-hmm.

[52:36] Here, let me put this black construction paper over first.

[52:40] It's real loud, but I don't know why you don't just tell me,

[52:42] because this is how I communicate.

[52:43] This is my love language, is light brights.

[52:46] So anyway, those questions are deemed

[52:50] suitable, and Satan goes, no,

[52:54] and falls to the ground, revealing the governor's niece,

[52:59] and she says, thank you, flop dudes,

[53:03] and you both high five,

[53:04] and this is an animated cut scene where you high five,

[53:07] and then there's one of those things where like,

[53:10] you guys are standing on a mountaintop,

[53:12] and the camera's panning past,

[53:13] and then each background,

[53:15] there's like a couple different layers of backgrounds

[53:16] that are all moving at slightly different speeds,

[53:19] so it looks real cool and three-dimensional,

[53:21] and it says, flop dudes will be back

[53:24] in Flop Dudes 3, Mountain Town.

[53:27] Oh, okay, cool, you know, something to look forward to.

[53:30] Yeah, it's the one where you're fighting bad guys

[53:32] at Mohonk.

[53:33] Oh, wow, man, that's an expensive game.

[53:36] Yeah.

[53:38] Yeah, well, because the meals are included.

[53:39] Yeah.

[53:41] So guys, do you have any final thoughts

[53:43] about video games or video game movies

[53:46] that you would like to mention before we,

[53:48] while the credits are rolling?

[53:49] You know, those long credits at the end of video games

[53:51] where it's a lot of names that you don't know,

[53:52] because there's all the different coders and stuff,

[53:54] you know?

[53:55] I have a video game, I have a question, not a video,

[53:57] yeah, I got a video game question.

[53:59] How to get past this boss?

[54:02] Now, guys, we just answered the question,

[54:05] what video game should be turned into a movie?

[54:08] What movie should be turned into a video game?

[54:12] Oh, that's a great idea.

[54:15] Um, what video game would,

[54:18] well, what movie would make a great video game?

[54:24] I think I'm gonna say the Sparks Brothers.

[54:27] So, it's my favorite movie.

[54:29] Wow, okay, Annette, is that the movie you're talking about?

[54:32] No, not Annette, the movie written by Sparks.

[54:34] I'm talking about the documentary,

[54:35] The Sparks Brothers, that Edgar Wright made.

[54:36] And you are, you get to choose

[54:38] to be either Ron or Russell Mayle.

[54:40] And it's each level is you creating a different album

[54:44] and then trying to capture the sound

[54:47] that people will be listening to

[54:49] 10 to 15 years in the future.

[54:52] Because they're always a little ahead of their time.

[54:54] So, I think, yeah, that's the movie,

[54:56] that's the new movie I would turn into it.

[54:58] If I'm looking for an older movie to turn into a video game,

[55:02] I think probably like a Citizen Kane game

[55:04] where you're like, you gotta throw newspapers at things

[55:06] and you're like jumping over sleds.

[55:07] You know, real SNES side scroller stuff, yeah, yeah.

[55:10] Uh-huh.

[55:11] And I think they should turn a racer head

[55:17] into like a fatherhood simulator.

[55:20] Hey, it's parallax action, parallax action.

[55:24] I knew I knew what it was.

[55:26] Oh, for the moving background stuff.

[55:27] Yeah, yeah.

[55:28] Yeah, like if you have like a multi-plane camera

[55:31] and like an animated film, you have parallax.

[55:34] And obviously, guys, I'm gonna say,

[55:37] I think the movie that should be turned into a video game,

[55:39] of course, is Royal Tenenbaums should be a fighting game

[55:44] where you get to pick your fighter

[55:45] and they have all kinds of moves and finishers

[55:48] and maybe x-ray attacks and all kinds of-

[55:50] Oh, yeah, you could do that with Knives Out too.

[55:52] Knives Out would be a good fighting game.

[55:53] That would probably even be better.

[55:55] There's this great level in fucking Hitman 3

[55:58] where you're basically playing through a Knives Out.

[56:00] It's fucking awesome.

[56:01] You're playing through a Knives Out?

[56:03] Yeah, you're doing a Knives Out.

[56:04] But you're aging 47.

[56:07] You can knock out the fucking world-famous fucking inspector.

[56:13] Now I so wish that-

[56:14] You can knock his ass out and put on his clothes

[56:15] and then pretend to be him

[56:16] and do your own little Knives Out and fucking lose.

[56:19] I so wish that Knives Out now had come out in 1989

[56:22] and there was a tie-in single that played during the credits

[56:24] called Doing a Knives Out.

[56:26] That would've been great.

[56:28] Doing a Knives Out.

[56:30] We're doing a Knives Out tonight.

[56:31] Doing a Knives Out, that kind of thing, yeah.

[56:33] Where like years later, you hear the song

[56:35] and you're like, are they singing about Knives Out?

[56:38] Yeah, exactly.

[56:39] It's a movie?

[56:40] It's like any time you hear that fucking Tina Turner song

[56:43] and you're like, did she just say Thunderdome?

[56:47] And it's hard to hear the lyrics

[56:48] through all the drum machines.

[56:49] There's probably 10 or 11 drum machines.

[56:51] But yeah, when you hear it and it's like,

[56:53] Daniel Craig, solving the case.

[56:54] You're like, wait, they're talking about the actors?

[56:57] Hold on.

[56:58] That's weird, yeah.

[56:59] Because I forgot the name of the character,

[57:00] Beauregard Louisville or something like that.

[57:02] Yeah, Foghorn Leghorn in a second.

[57:07] Well guys, thanks so much.

[57:09] Beauregard Louisville.

[57:11] Thanks so much for playing Flop Dudes 2,

[57:13] Streets of Dragons for the NES and Sega Master System.

[57:18] I will remind you that the Flophouse virtual live show,

[57:21] not virtually live, it will be live, remote,

[57:24] is September 25th.

[57:25] That's at 9 p.m. Eastern time, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[57:27] Google SimpleTix, Flophouse Super Mario Brothers

[57:30] and I'll remind you that even if you can't make it

[57:32] on September 25th, where you live in a place

[57:35] where that time is not doable

[57:37] because it's the middle of the night,

[57:38] buying a ticket gets you one week of access

[57:41] to the recording of the show.

[57:43] So you will get to enjoy it.

[57:45] And after that, the show will disappear.

[57:47] Just a beautiful dream, more beautiful

[57:50] for its limited time on this earth

[57:52] and for its existing only as a memory.

[57:55] But if you watch it when it's actually airing,

[57:56] then you'll be able to ask questions on Twitter

[57:58] that we can answer and stuff like that.

[57:59] And it'll be real fun.

[58:00] We'll be talking about Super Mario Brothers

[58:02] and I have a fairly stupid presentation lined up.

[58:06] Not as stupid necessarily as this one,

[58:08] but as this episode, but I can't wait to see

[58:11] what these dudes have lined up for it.

[58:13] So guys, thanks again.

[58:17] For the Flophouse, I've been Elliot Kalen.

[58:19] I've been Dan McCoy.

[58:22] And bringing up the rear, it's me, Stuart Wellington.

[58:25] Saying, play nicely, but play often.

[58:29] I'm trying out new video game slogans.

[58:31] Is that one good?

[58:34] I just got a text message from PlayStation.

[58:36] They said, cease and desist.

[58:38] Oh boy, well, I'll think of something else.

[58:40] Alex, put in some 8-bit video game indie music.

[58:42] Bye!

[58:43] Maximumfun.org, comedy and culture.

[58:46] Artist owned, audience supported.

FH Mini #37 - 8-Bit Flop House

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