FH Mini 36 - Let's Get Quizzical

Stuart Wellington

[0:00] Hey there, everybody. It's me, Stuart from the Flophouse Podcast, and I'm joined with

[0:09] my two co-hosts. They're friends of mine. They are cool dudes. I promise. They are definitely

[0:15] cool. That's Elliot, Kayla, and Dan McCoy. How are you guys doing tonight?

Dan McCoy

[0:19] Are you buttering us up so we won't make fun of how you said you were going to do a great

[0:23] intro and then you laughed in the middle of your first word?

Stuart Wellington

[0:27] I don't know what you're talking about. You guys are definitely cool dudes, and you're

[0:32] here to record a podcast with me, Stuart Wellington, and our podcast is called The Flophouse, and

[0:37] this is a mini episode. Now, normally on our show, if you're a new listener, because I got

[0:43] to tell you, I'm sure we have a huge influx of new listeners, because this mini is sandwiched

[0:49] right between the episode where we reviewed Space Jam, A New Legacy, and Boss Baby 2,

[0:55] family business. So I'm sure this episode is going to get a lot of traction, and there's

[1:00] going to be a lot of new listeners. So we got to make sure that this is super easy for

[1:04] new people to just jump right on board. This is what I call an onboarding episode.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07] And I appreciate you vouching for us at the beginning and vouching for us with the new

[1:10] listeners that were cool.

[1:11] Yeah.

[1:12] That was good. I appreciate that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14] Didn't want to think you weren't cool dudes. So, hey guys, how are you guys doing?

[1:23] All right. Great. Okay. So this episode, as I said, I'm sure we have a lot of new listeners,

[1:30] and for everybody out there, we have a pretty big back catalog. I mean, we've been doing this

[1:34] show for like 14 years. I think 14 years this month, which is wild.

[1:41] Happy anniversary. What did you get me?

[1:44] I got you some combs for your hair.

[1:48] Oh no. I'm losing my hair.

[1:51] Oh no.

[1:53] How ironic.

[1:56] I'm trying to count. Gift of the bald eye.

[2:01] The gift of the bald eye.

[2:03] Yeah.

[2:04] That's so Henry.

Elliott Kalan

[2:05] The bald eye is what came out. Bald guy.

[2:08] Bald guy. Yeah.

[2:09] That makes way more sense.

[2:10] That's why you're the professional television writer and he's merely the bartender slash podcaster.

Stuart Wellington

[2:15] Yeah. I'm just a dumb ass. Okay. So, um, as a way, I thought a great way. So normally we review movies

[2:22] on our show, but on these minis, we kind of do whatever we want. And today, boy, howdy, we are

[2:28] doing exactly whatever I want. I'm in the driver's seat. And what I thought we would do is, uh, we would

[2:34] give people a little bit of an introduction to who each of us are, right? Instead of having to listen to

[2:40] 14 years worth of podcasts so you can learn what kind of freakazoids are on this podcast.

[2:46] And I'm not even in some of them.

[2:48] And you're not even, and I'm not even in some of them. Dan is the only constant factor.

[2:52] I'm in all of them.

[2:53] He's the true constant.

Dan McCoy

[2:54] That's why everyone's tired of me.

Stuart Wellington

[2:57] Because you've been in slightly more episodes than us?

[3:00] Yeah.

[3:00] Um, so what I thought I'd do is I prepared a list of questions to ask you guys and I'll answer them too.

[3:09] So we'll, uh, we'll share some information. We don't have to get too personal. You know,

[3:14] you don't have to admit to any crimes.

[3:16] No, let it, let's let it all hang out.

[3:17] Unless they're minor crimes.

Elliott Kalan

[3:19] Let's bear it all.

[3:20] Uh, you know what?

[3:20] We should probably answer the questions naked too. Hold on a second.

Dan McCoy

[3:24] Okay. Let me just get, all right.

[3:26] Oh.

[3:27] And.

[3:27] Oh, that's what it looks like.

[3:28] And there we go. Okay.

[3:30] I noticed you guys didn't follow my lead, but.

Stuart Wellington

[3:32] He's keeping his hat on. I wasn't expecting that.

[3:35] Well, he can legally.

[3:36] Yeah. Uh, okay.

[3:38] The ruling.

Dan McCoy

[3:40] In what sex court?

[3:42] In Tom Jones court.

[3:44] Oh, I see.

Stuart Wellington

[3:45] So, uh, I'm going to ask these questions. If you are uncomfortable answering them, you can always pass.

[3:50] Although if you pass, I'm going to ask Alex, our producer, to put in some kind of embarrassing sound effect.

[3:56] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[4:00] Now, do we pass to someone or we just pass?

[4:03] No, you just say pass.

[4:04] Okay.

[4:05] I gotcha.

[4:05] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[4:06] This isn't a game.

[4:07] I know that Dan normally fills in the, like the heavy sports enthusiast section of the podcast.

[4:13] I love competition.

[4:14] When he heard, when he heard, when he heard pass, he thought it was going to be like a perfect spiral football pass.

[4:20] Yeah.

[4:21] Okay.

[4:22] So, first question.

Elliott Kalan

[4:23] His instinct was to just yell, I'm open, I'm open, and start running backwards.

Stuart Wellington

[4:27] Uh, so first question, guys.

[4:28] Uh, I'm going to, I'm going to, this is going to go to Elliot.

[4:31] What embarrasses you the most and or, so you have an option here.

[4:36] Oh, good.

[4:37] Phew.

[4:37] Thank you.

[4:37] Uh, what's been your most embarrassing moment?

Elliott Kalan

[4:42] Well, I'll say what's, I think most, like many, uh, nerds, I think most of my embarrassing moments exist in my head more than in reality.

[4:51] There are moments that I remember as embarrassing things that I feel stupid about, but really every other human on the face of the earth did not notice them.

[4:59] So instead I'll say, based on the dreams I have, the thing that probably embarrasses me the most is the idea that someone might see me going to the bathroom.

[5:07] I have a fair number of dreams where I'm, I need to use the bathroom, but I cannot find a place to go where there's not like an open window or a crowd.

[5:14] It's just like that Terry Jones, Monty Python segment where he needs to change into his bathing suit, but he can't find a private place.

[5:21] I have a lot of dreams like that.

[5:22] And that's why my new horror movie, A Private Place, is about a dystopian future where evil aliens that can see people pee are all over the place and everyone to survive has to find private places to pee.

[5:33] And it's very difficult.

Stuart Wellington

[5:35] Uh, I think that's, that's good.

[5:37] Did you throw a TM in there so nobody steals your idea or is that already sold?

[5:40] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[5:41] A little R in a circle.

[5:43] Does that help?

[5:43] Okay.

[5:43] Yeah.

[5:44] And so how many points do I get for that answer?

Stuart Wellington

[5:47] Once again, there's no points.

[5:48] This is, you know, we're just chilling out being, being cool dudes.

[5:52] All right.

[5:53] Dan, Dan, do you have a, you have a something that particularly embarrasses you?

Dan McCoy

[5:56] Oh, same question.

Stuart Wellington

[5:58] Yes.

[6:00] I'll answer the same question.

[6:01] Just, you know, so you guys know me, I think probably my most embarrassing moment, the thing that keeps me up at night that like at like three in the morning when I'm lying in bed and staring into the dark corners of the room, I think about the time in middle school.

[6:13] When I, uh, I think I did a truncated version of the wayne's world foxy lady bit, uh, to my friend and his girlfriend.

[6:24] I thought it would be funny because I thought it would be funny because they would all get the reference.

[6:27] And, uh, I immediately regretted it.

[6:30] And, uh, I think about it way too much.

[6:33] And, uh, I'll probably, that'll probably be my dying, my dying thought as I am shoveled into the, uh, into the futuristic, uh, I don't know, like garbage dump that they throw dead old stewards.

Elliott Kalan

[6:46] It's amazing.

[6:47] Yeah.

[6:48] There's every house is going to have one of those.

[6:49] It's amazing how something that, I mean, your description of it to me, I'm like, oh, okay, that's not, that's nothing.

[6:54] But it's like probably the, the moment that haunts me the most from my youth is when I was probably about six.

[6:59] And I went up behind someone I thought was a friend of mine and kind of grabbed and went, gotcha.

[7:04] And the kid turned around and it was someone I had never met before and shoved me to the ground.

Stuart Wellington

[7:09] And you deserved it.

Elliott Kalan

[7:11] I guess, cause I thought it was a friend of mine and the, and I immediately like slunk back to wherever my family was.

[7:17] It was like at a 4th of July celebration or something.

[7:19] And, and just like, just like a Bernstein and Citizen Kane, probably, probably a month doesn't go by that.

[7:25] I don't think about that and cringe, even though certainly the other kid does not remember it.

[7:29] He might be dead now for all I know, you know, so.

[7:32] Sure.

[7:33] So why bother?

Stuart Wellington

[7:34] Yeah.

[7:34] He pushed the wrong person to the ground.

[7:36] Dan, do you have something that particularly embarrasses you or would you like to pass?

Dan McCoy

[7:40] You know, well, I mean, this will sound a bit like a dodge when I preface this by saying like, I don't really feel a lot of shame.

[7:51] I mean, you know, like it's a bad, probably a bad thing.

[7:55] I don't have a lot of the shame in me, certainly as an adult human.

[8:01] So I will have to go back.

[8:02] I mean, now you look.

[8:03] Dan's a Gemini, everybody.

[8:05] Regrets?

[8:05] I have a few.

[8:07] But, but embarrassment, not so much.

[8:11] So I'll have to go back to when I was a kid to find something that I was truly embarrassed by, which is probably when in grade school, when I was arguably too old to be having these difficulties, I pooped in my pants at school.

[8:28] Now, as an adult, I don't have embarrassment about it.

[8:31] Ninth or tenth grade?

[8:32] I was a kid.

[8:33] Yeah.

[8:35] You know, any grade could be a grade school.

[8:38] I mean.

[8:38] Yeah, yeah.

[8:38] College?

[8:39] I mean, technically.

[8:40] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[8:41] Just for my own reference, because I'm writing all this down.

[8:47] Dan, was that the last time you pooped in your pants?

Dan McCoy

[8:51] No, no.

[8:52] In college, I had the flu, and I woke up, and I had, it was not, the flu is not a code for I drank too much.

[9:04] I was sick.

Stuart Wellington

[9:04] Because I had that flu a couple times.

Dan McCoy

[9:06] Yeah.

[9:07] No, no, no.

[9:07] I was sick, and it happened again, and that was distressing.

[9:14] But, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[9:16] At least he saved the underwear, right?

[9:19] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[9:20] Yeah, yeah.

[9:20] Framed it.

[9:21] Did it feel at all like it was, like it was actually, like there was some closure there,

[9:24] like you had bookended that section of your life?

Dan McCoy

[9:26] I don't see how that works.

[9:29] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[9:31] I mean, if it was a movie, it would be a...

Dan McCoy

[9:32] I mean, I hope I bookended it, but, you know, we're all getting older.

[9:36] Let's be frank with ourselves.

[9:38] We're going to poop in our pants again at some point.

Elliott Kalan

[9:40] Eventually, yeah.

[9:40] But I imagine, yeah, if it was a movie, you would have woken up sick,

[9:44] but you'd look in your pants and see poop there,

[9:45] and then Circle Game would start playing on the soundtrack,

[9:48] and it would pull back until you see the whole earth,

[9:51] and then the earth would wake, and then it would fade to black.

Stuart Wellington

[9:54] Yeah, there's...

[9:55] What's that old saying, that old riddle?

[9:58] What poops in its pants on two legs,

[10:00] then poops in its pants, I guess, while sick,

[10:04] and then poops in its pants on three legs.

Elliott Kalan

[10:06] What poops in its pants in the morning,

[10:09] what poops when it's sick in the afternoon,

[10:10] and then what poops in its pants again in the evening.

[10:13] And that was the riddle of the stinks.

Stuart Wellington

[10:16] Fuck off.

[10:19] Yeah.

[10:21] Okay.

[10:22] The next question, guys.

[10:23] I'm not going to do all of them, because I have a lot.

[10:27] What would be your perfect day?

[10:30] Plan it out.

[10:33] Dan, I'm going to snake draft this.

[10:35] This one's going to you, buddy.

[10:36] What's your perfect day?

Dan McCoy

[10:38] Just a perfect day?

Stuart Wellington

[10:40] Yep.

[10:41] Give me one day.

Dan McCoy

[10:42] Drink sangria in the park?

[10:44] Hell yeah, baby.

[10:48] Well, I mean...

[10:51] Look, I actually like getting something done.

[10:56] I feel like to have a truly satisfying day,

[11:01] you have to feel like you've done something constructive,

[11:07] but it can't be something that feels like work.

[11:12] So I think I would like to get up,

[11:16] have a nice leisurely sort of breakfast.

[11:23] Maybe, yeah.

[11:24] Now, when you say leisurely,

Elliott Kalan

[11:24] that's like 45 minutes,

[11:26] or that's like two hours?

Dan McCoy

[11:29] Just not rushing to get anywhere, Elliot.

[11:31] Two hours is leisurely to me.

[11:33] Sitting down,

[11:34] sipping some coffee,

[11:36] having breakfast,

[11:37] you know,

[11:38] Audrey and I go for a walk,

[11:40] get some errands done.

[11:43] Yeah.

[11:43] That's the accomplishment part of the day.

Elliott Kalan

[11:46] This is truly an older person's perfect day.

Dan McCoy

[11:49] Do a little...

[11:50] And then, you know,

[11:53] go to the park,

[11:54] watch a movie,

[11:56] go out to dinner with friends,

[11:59] have a bottle of wine, you know,

[12:02] get to bed at a sensible hour

[12:04] to continue your old person's perfect day.

Elliott Kalan

[12:07] I love that you're not bothering to be ambitious.

[12:09] No, no, no, no, no.

Stuart Wellington

[12:10] Because this sounds like a regular weekend day for you.

Elliott Kalan

[12:12] Sounds like a regular day.

Stuart Wellington

[12:13] Yeah, Elliot's perfect day involves winning a prize.

Dan McCoy

[12:17] I have achieved perfection in my life in a certain way,

[12:20] from a certain point of view.

[12:23] I don't know, man.

[12:24] No, that's...

[12:25] I mean, that sounds like a great day.

[12:27] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[12:28] Elliot, what's your perfect day?

[12:29] I mean, I've had a perfect day.

[12:32] So listeners of the podcast may remember my stories of my wedding day.

[12:36] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[12:36] My perfect day was August 29th, 2010.

[12:39] When I got up,

[12:41] went to see Piranha 3D with you two guys

[12:43] and a couple of my other closest friends.

[12:45] My brother got me Popeyes for lunch.

[12:47] Then I got married to the love of my life.

[12:50] And during the wedding,

[12:51] I found out the show I worked.

Stuart Wellington

[12:52] You're going to get a lot of points

[12:53] when your wife doesn't listen to this episode.

Elliott Kalan

[12:56] Yeah.

[12:56] And she, yeah, she doesn't listen.

[12:59] And then during the ceremony,

[13:02] during the reception,

[13:03] I got a text that The Daily Show won an Emmy for Best Show,

[13:07] which, again, I was not taking part in that Emmy,

[13:09] but it was a show that I was working on at the time, certainly.

[13:12] And, well, I don't have to tell you how the night went.

[13:16] So, yeah, that was...

[13:17] Oh, shit.

[13:18] So that was a perfect day.

[13:19] I mean, legally, you don't.

Stuart Wellington

[13:20] Yeah, it's true, but...

[13:22] Yep, I sat up top.

[13:24] You don't have to admit to crimes.

[13:26] Yeah, I mean,

[13:27] like Dan,

[13:29] I feel like my concept of a perfect day

[13:32] has shifted a little bit.

[13:34] I feel like, for me,

[13:35] it would be wake up early,

[13:37] you know, stretch, go to the gym,

[13:39] then have my leisurely breakfast.

[13:41] And I'm talking two hours.

[13:43] Wow.

[13:43] Like, watch my daytime shows,

[13:46] maybe watch an episode of Catfish,

[13:48] you know, something like that.

[13:50] And then, you know,

[13:51] I'd maybe get some model painting in,

[13:55] get some Stuart time,

[13:56] a little bit of, you know,

[13:57] a little bit of recovery,

[13:59] turn my brain off,

[13:59] put on some heavy metal.

[14:01] Then I probably,

[14:02] I feel like spending,

[14:03] for the evening,

[14:04] go out to a nice dinner,

[14:05] sit at a nice dark bar,

[14:07] get some expensive food brought to me,

[14:10] drink tequila until,

[14:11] until I'm too tired.

[14:13] Perfect.

[14:15] Yeah.

[14:16] Three nice days.

[14:17] One of them actually happened.

[14:19] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[14:20] I mean, to be fair,

[14:21] Dan's has happened.

[14:23] Yeah, that's probably true.

[14:24] I'm pretty sure I've done that.

Stuart Wellington

[14:26] I keep,

[14:27] every day I wake up hoping that mine is going to happen,

[14:30] and it hasn't been.

[14:31] Oh, no.

Elliott Kalan

[14:31] I got to work too much.

[14:33] And then you're like,

[14:33] you're like,

[14:34] let me just sit down to my leisurely breakfast,

[14:36] and then you got to call it like a pipe burst at the bar or something,

[14:39] or they found a monster in the basement,

[14:41] and you got to go deal with it.

[14:42] Yep, or like,

Stuart Wellington

[14:44] two bartenders aren't getting along,

[14:45] and I have to settle something.

[14:47] I'm okay.

[14:49] Pistols at dawn, usually.

[14:51] What is your favorite,

[14:52] what is the favorite thing you own,

[14:54] and why?

[14:55] So if you have to rush into your burning apartment,

[14:58] all living things are accounted for.

[15:01] What is the one thing you grab?

[15:04] Or, I guess,

[15:05] drive away,

[15:05] because you can own a car,

[15:07] or you can own a house, I guess.

[15:09] Yeah, can I pick up the house,

[15:10] and carry with the stuff in it?

[15:15] No, you can't,

[15:16] you can't,

[15:17] your favorite thing can't be a container to stuff other things in.

Elliott Kalan

[15:21] Oh, that's,

[15:22] what a loophole that you've just plugged up there.

[15:24] Mm-hmm.

[15:25] Elliot.

[15:26] Yeah.

[15:27] I guess my,

[15:29] I have a couple pieces,

[15:31] if my family is safe.

[15:33] Yes, we've already covered that.

[15:34] Yeah, I have a couple,

[15:35] you know,

[15:35] I've got a lot of books that are important to me,

[15:37] but I've got a couple pieces of original art

[15:39] that I,

[15:40] that I would probably try to save.

[15:43] Uh-huh.

[15:44] Your art collection, huh?

[15:45] My art collection, yeah.

[15:46] You know what,

[15:47] let's just say art collection.

[15:47] I mean,

[15:48] the crown jewel being my Grody the Dinosaur drawing

[15:50] that listener Michael Waite arranged for me

[15:53] to come into possession of

[15:55] after I talked about it years ago

[15:56] on this very podcast.

Dan McCoy

[15:58] Oh, man,

[15:59] this one's,

[15:59] this is tough.

[16:00] I,

[16:01] yeah,

[16:03] similarly to Elliot,

[16:04] like maybe I would choose,

[16:07] Audrey gave me a Polish poster for Gremlins.

[16:12] Uh,

[16:12] it would be a hard thing to,

[16:13] to run out of a burning building with.

[16:16] Yes.

[16:16] It's very large and heavy,

[16:17] uh,

[16:19] and covered in glass.

[16:21] Uh,

[16:21] uh,

[16:22] uh,

[16:22] I don't know.

[16:24] Um,

[16:25] large,

[16:25] heavy,

[16:26] covered in glass.

[16:28] Maybe my guitar.

[16:29] It's not like,

[16:30] I,

[16:31] I,

[16:31] I too have like some books that are signed by people

[16:36] who are important to me,

[16:37] but I can't like,

[16:37] I,

[16:38] there's nothing that I'm,

[16:39] that is really springing to mind.

[16:41] Those are the,

[16:42] those are the things that are.

Stuart Wellington

[16:43] I would say my collection of gold bars,

[16:46] but I'm nervous that if I mention that,

[16:48] people are going to want to break into my apartment

[16:49] and steal them.

[16:50] Yeah.

[16:52] Uh,

[16:52] yeah.

[16:52] I mean,

[16:53] it's a tough one.

[16:53] Like,

[16:54] I feel like at this point it would be,

[16:57] uh,

[16:57] I feel like it's like something dumb,

[16:59] like models that I painted because like I can buy them again,

[17:03] but it's not the same as the thing that I spent hours,

[17:05] uh,

[17:06] painting or it could be my,

[17:09] uh,

[17:09] yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[17:10] Well,

[17:11] I'll tell you what guys,

[17:12] I,

[17:12] I'm not totally sure,

[17:13] but since I live in Southern California,

[17:15] it's very possible.

[17:16] I will have to face this scenario.

[17:18] So it'll be a game time decision.

[17:20] And I'll let you know what happens afterwards.

[17:22] Oh,

[17:22] that's great.

[17:22] I hope it doesn't happen.

[17:23] Well,

[17:24] make sure that the,

Dan McCoy

[17:25] your,

[17:25] make sure your house is actually on fire because it could be Sherlock Holmes who has put a smoke bomb through the window to find the blackmail material you have on,

[17:34] um,

[17:35] the king of Bohemia.

[17:37] So that's just a little tip for you.

Elliott Kalan

[17:39] You know what?

[17:39] That's,

[17:39] thank you very much for making sure I know that.

[17:41] Uh,

[17:42] that's,

[17:42] that's very helpful because otherwise I might fall into his brilliant trap.

[17:45] Uh,

[17:46] of course the thing is I'll probably pick up something stupid,

[17:48] like a box of the cereal I like,

[17:50] and I'll run out and be like,

[17:51] wait a minute.

[17:52] I can just buy more of this.

[17:54] Why'd I do that?

[17:56] Uh,

[17:57] Dan,

[17:57] kicks.

[17:58] Uh,

[17:59] they were,

[17:59] they were contested,

[18:00] mother approved.

Stuart Wellington

[18:03] Uh,

[18:04] yeah,

[18:04] let,

[18:05] let,

[18:05] let's,

[18:06] uh,

[18:06] I'm going to do a side question here.

[18:08] Uh,

[18:09] breakfast cereal.

[18:10] Uh,

[18:11] yeah,

[18:11] you have to,

[18:12] what,

[18:12] what's,

[18:12] uh,

[18:13] what's your breakfast cereal choice?

[18:14] If one of you actually says kicks,

[18:16] I'll be impressed and we'll have followup questions.

Elliott Kalan

[18:19] Uh,

[18:20] no,

[18:20] mine is,

[18:20] uh,

[18:21] Barbara's brand morning oat crunch.

[18:22] Uh,

[18:23] it's the closest I can get to what Quaker oat squares or Quaker oatmeal squares used to taste like

[18:28] before they put sugar all over them.

[18:30] Like,

[18:31] uh,

[18:31] like a crime against nature.

[18:33] So that's a boring answer for a boring guy.

[18:35] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[18:37] Dan?

Dan McCoy

[18:38] Uh,

[18:39] I,

[18:39] I got,

[18:40] I like,

[18:40] there are a couple I like.

[18:41] I like,

[18:41] uh,

[18:42] corn checks.

[18:43] They kind of taste like unsalty bugles.

[18:46] Uh,

[18:46] and,

[18:47] you know,

[18:48] on the sweeter end,

[18:49] I like,

[18:50] uh,

[18:50] a honey bunches of oats pretty well.

Stuart Wellington

[18:53] Yeah.

[18:53] I mean,

[18:54] I feel like,

[18:54] like,

[18:55] I like a lot of the old,

[18:56] old people cereals,

[18:57] like grape nuts,

[18:58] and what's that?

[18:59] Like product 19,

[19:00] uh,

[19:01] and special K.

[19:03] Products one through 18.

Dan McCoy

[19:05] You don't want to know about.

Stuart Wellington

[19:06] Yeah.

[19:07] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:07] Don't talk about products one through 18,

[19:09] right?

[19:09] Deep in it,

[19:10] deep in a hidden vault in the Pentagon lies a particular product.

[19:14] What is the secret of product 19?

[19:17] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[19:18] Uh,

[19:19] growing up,

[19:19] my grandmother told me of the legend of product 20.

[19:25] Uh,

[19:25] but I would say,

[19:26] yeah,

[19:27] for sweet,

[19:27] I feel like it's tough to top fruity pebbles,

[19:29] man.

[19:29] That thing's a banger.

[19:31] Um,

[19:31] okay.

[19:32] Uh,

[19:32] so we've covered our serial,

[19:34] serial bases.

[19:34] Let's,

[19:35] uh,

[19:35] get back to business.

[19:36] Dan,

[19:36] who was the last person who made you cry?

Dan McCoy

[19:40] Oh,

[19:40] the last person who made me cry.

[19:44] I mean,

[19:45] this one's easy.

[19:46] Well,

[19:46] made me cry.

Stuart Wellington

[19:47] like,

[19:48] I will,

[19:48] this is,

[19:49] I mean,

Dan McCoy

[19:50] probably Audrey,

[19:53] but that makes me feel bad.

[19:54] Dan's about to cry.

[19:55] Like,

[19:55] I don't,

[19:56] like,

[19:56] I know I shouldn't,

[19:57] I like,

[19:57] that makes it sound terrible,

[19:59] but like,

[19:59] who,

[19:59] who makes you cry more than someone you care about?

Stuart Wellington

[20:03] That's a good point.

[20:04] That's a lesson learned.

[20:05] Elliot,

[20:05] do you have an answer to that?

Elliott Kalan

[20:07] Uh,

[20:08] no,

[20:11] well,

[20:11] we,

[20:12] uh,

[20:12] recently we visited my family back in New Jersey,

[20:14] and it was a tearful goodbye at the end because it was a real nice trip.

[20:19] So I guess my,

[20:20] I guess my,

[20:21] my parents,

[20:23] but not in a bad way.

Stuart Wellington

[20:24] Yeah,

[20:24] that's,

[20:24] I don't think the,

[20:25] the question did not imply good or bad.

[20:27] Tears can come from any source.

[20:30] Uh,

[20:30] and obviously.

Elliott Kalan

[20:30] Tears can't come from any source.

[20:31] They can't come out of like wood.

[20:33] Unless it's a picture of a,

[20:35] unless it's a picture of the Virgin Mary.

[20:37] So maybe.

Stuart Wellington

[20:39] Uh,

[20:40] and obviously you guys know that every,

[20:42] uh,

[20:43] long time listeners are going to know this.

[20:44] This one for me,

[20:45] Frodo Baggins,

[20:46] baby.

[20:47] When he decides to go to the gray Havens,

[20:49] what the hell?

[20:50] Oh,

[20:50] that's rough.

[20:51] Uh,

[20:52] okay.

[20:52] So,

[20:53] uh,

Elliott Kalan

[20:53] so Frodo,

[20:54] so Frodo counts as a person.

[20:56] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[20:58] Does he,

[20:58] I mean,

[20:58] he's played by a person,

[20:59] Elijah Wood,

[21:00] and his performance of Frodo made me cry.

[21:02] Okay.

[21:03] That's fair.

[21:04] Okay.

[21:04] Next one.

[21:05] Dan,

[21:06] if money was no object,

[21:07] what would you buy?

Dan McCoy

[21:09] What would I buy if money was no object?

[21:14] I mean,

[21:15] real estate.

[21:18] Oh,

[21:18] cool.

[21:18] You know,

[21:19] like the dream of home ownership,

[21:21] uh,

[21:22] is,

[21:23] you know,

[21:23] every,

[21:24] every American's dream.

[21:26] At least,

[21:27] at least if it's not,

[21:28] not,

[21:29] not,

[21:29] an area that's overcome with fire or.

Elliott Kalan

[21:32] Dan,

[21:33] I've got a little movie called Nomadland.

[21:34] I think you're going to enjoy.

[21:35] Yeah.

[21:36] Cause they,

[21:36] she doesn't want to buy a house.

[21:38] I guess unless van,

[21:39] a van counts as real estate.

[21:40] Dan,

[21:41] does a van count as real estate?

[21:42] Your name rhymes with van.

[21:43] So I figured you'd know the answer.

Dan McCoy

[21:45] Other,

[21:45] I,

[21:46] I,

[21:46] either a house or I would,

[21:48] um,

[21:49] you know,

[21:50] if I had unlimited money,

[21:52] money was an object,

[21:53] as you say,

[21:53] uh,

[21:54] to run my own independent movie theater,

[21:58] where I just did whatever the hell I wanted.

[22:02] You're on dance turf now.

Stuart Wellington

[22:03] George R.

[22:04] Martin's plan,

[22:05] right?

[22:05] Yeah.

[22:07] That's pretty cool.

[22:08] Okay.

[22:08] Elliot,

[22:08] what's your,

[22:09] uh,

[22:10] what's your,

[22:10] if money was no object,

[22:11] what would you buy?

Elliott Kalan

[22:12] I guess a second Gertie,

Stuart Wellington

[22:14] the dinosaur,

[22:15] probably a second Gertie.

Elliott Kalan

[22:16] Well,

[22:16] first a second Gertie,

[22:17] the dinosaur drawing.

[22:18] Uh,

[22:18] then I guess I'd probably buy all the weapons in the world and just throw them into the sun.

[22:24] But that's just me guys.

[22:25] I'm just,

[22:26] I'm just all about peace.

[22:27] Thanks Superman.

[22:28] Uh,

[22:30] but it's Superman with a dollar sign instead of an S.

[22:32] That's the costume that I start wearing.

[22:33] Yeah.

[22:34] Yeah.

[22:34] And I teach kids about saving.

Stuart Wellington

[22:37] I feel like if money was no object,

[22:39] I would probably,

[22:40] uh,

[22:41] buy myself a,

[22:43] uh,

[22:44] a short trip into outer space with my pal Jeff Bezos.

[22:48] Uh,

[22:48] I mean,

[22:50] you guys are such good friends.

Elliott Kalan

[22:52] It's surprising he didn't just take you along.

Stuart Wellington

[22:54] I'm fucking surprised too,

[22:55] but like he,

[22:56] he offered and I'm like,

[22:58] that's great.

[22:58] And then he's like,

[22:59] yeah,

[22:59] great.

[23:00] Just so Venmo me,

[23:01] you know,

[23:02] a couple million dollars.

[23:03] And I'm like,

[23:03] Whoa,

[23:04] wait,

[23:04] what?

[23:04] You just invited me to this thing.

[23:06] Yeah.

[23:07] Uh,

[23:08] I mean,

[23:08] I'm glad he mentioned it before I went cause I can't flip that bill.

[23:12] Um,

[23:13] okay.

[23:14] Okay.

[23:14] So,

[23:15] uh,

[23:16] next one,

[23:17] next question,

[23:18] Dan,

[23:20] out of all your family members,

[23:22] who are you closest to?

Dan McCoy

[23:25] Oh,

[23:25] geez,

[23:26] this is,

[23:27] I,

[23:27] Oh,

[23:30] can I pass?

[23:31] I'll pass this one out of,

Stuart Wellington

[23:32] that's a pass.

[23:34] Alex,

[23:34] throw on a pass.

[23:35] Sound effect.

Dan McCoy

[23:40] Out of fear of,

[23:41] I know that,

[23:42] I know that they listen,

[23:43] so I don't want to feel like I'm,

[23:45] it's fair.

Stuart Wellington

[23:46] Any favoritism.

[23:47] It's,

[23:47] it's,

[23:48] you can be a coward every once in a while.

[23:49] My,

[23:49] obviously for me,

[23:50] it's my mom.

[23:51] Uh,

[23:51] Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[23:52] Uh,

[23:53] I mean,

[23:53] is it blood relatives or,

[23:55] I mean,

[23:56] cause I would say my wife,

[23:57] you know?

Stuart Wellington

[23:58] Ooh,

[23:59] Elliot found a potential loophole,

[24:01] but that's fair.

[24:02] She is my family.

Elliott Kalan

[24:03] I mean,

[24:03] it's the,

[24:04] I mean,

[24:05] legally,

[24:06] legally together.

[24:08] So I'm close to the children.

Stuart Wellington

[24:09] I'll have to call my lawyer friend.

[24:12] Uh,

[24:13] okay.

[24:13] So Elliot,

[24:14] uh,

[24:15] I'm going to pass this back to you next to each other.

Elliott Kalan

[24:16] It doesn't get closer than that.

[24:18] You know?

[24:19] I mean,

[24:20] you don't,

[24:21] you don't put up like a wall of pillows.

[24:23] I sleep under the blanket.

[24:25] I don't sleep next to the blanket.

[24:25] That's next to.

[24:27] You're right.

[24:28] Jason too.

[24:28] You're right.

[24:29] Buckminster Fuller.

[24:29] There's no up and down in space.

Stuart Wellington

[24:34] Elliot,

[24:34] where do you want to travel to most?

[24:37] Now,

[24:37] obviously travel is a difficult thing right now,

[24:39] but once,

[24:40] uh,

[24:41] hopefully once this old virus situation is dealt with and,

[24:45] uh,

[24:46] and you can travel the way you can be globe trotting Elliot Kalin again.

[24:49] Where do you want to travel to?

Elliott Kalan

[24:51] I've actually been boring my family quite a bit with my plan to,

[24:55] uh,

[24:55] take them to,

[24:56] this is my dream trip is to take them to the North of Italy.

[24:59] And then over the course of like a few weeks,

[25:01] drive down to the South of Italy and stop at,

[25:04] at the different cities along the way.

[25:05] I think that I've never been to Italy.

[25:07] I've always wanted to,

[25:08] uh,

[25:08] and maybe someday it'll happen.

[25:11] Uh,

[25:11] you know,

[25:12] and,

[25:12] and also Mars,

[25:13] but you know,

[25:14] but let's just stick to planet earth.

[25:17] Okay.

[25:18] Then,

[25:19] uh,

[25:19] then I would say Italy,

[25:20] but on the other hand,

[25:21] there's a place I'd like to go back to.

[25:23] I'd really like to go back to Uruguay someday.

[25:25] Oh,

[25:26] cool.

[25:27] Yeah.

[25:27] So who knows?

[25:29] Who knows where I'll end up next?

[25:31] I'm,

[25:31] I'm kind of a man of adventure and mystery that way.

[25:33] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[25:34] Uh,

[25:35] so Dan,

[25:36] uh,

[25:36] are you also a man of adventure and mystery?

[25:38] Where do you want to go?

Dan McCoy

[25:39] Uh,

[25:40] not really.

[25:40] I mean,

[25:40] mostly I am a man of comfort and,

[25:43] um,

[25:45] dislike of discomfort.

[25:47] Uh,

[25:48] so.

Stuart Wellington

[25:49] Yeah,

[25:50] that's your pros and cons.

[25:51] Well,

[25:52] Audrey,

Dan McCoy

[25:52] Audrey's a fan of cozy mysteries and I am also,

[25:55] I was raised by Anglophiles.

[25:58] So she's never been,

[26:00] you know,

[26:01] um,

[26:02] to either Scotland or Ireland.

[26:04] I think we would enjoy,

[26:06] uh,

[26:07] taking a train through those countries,

[26:09] uh,

[26:10] you know,

[26:10] stopping off,

[26:11] uh,

[26:12] seeing,

[26:13] you know,

[26:13] wandering the moors,

[26:15] but also I would like,

[26:16] I,

[26:17] Audrey's family is from the Philippines.

[26:21] Obviously I am not,

[26:22] not obvious,

[26:23] but I've never been.

[26:24] Um,

[26:24] it's fairly obvious.

[26:26] Yeah.

[26:26] You know,

[26:27] one would suspect as a guy from a white guy from the Midwest that I've not been to the Philippines just in the course of the course of the

[26:34] my,

[26:34] uh,

[26:36] life so far.

[26:36] Normal perambulations.

[26:38] Yeah.

[26:38] So,

[26:39] um,

[26:40] yeah,

[26:40] if I was able to just fantasy go somewhere,

[26:43] it would be nice to,

[26:44] to,

[26:45] to see that country.

Elliott Kalan

[26:47] Scotland's a good option.

[26:48] I've,

[26:48] I've been there a couple of times and I really would like when my kids are older to take them on the West Highland Way,

[26:53] which I,

[26:53] uh,

[26:54] hiked a number of years ago.

[26:55] That's a good option.

[26:57] Let me add that to my answer.

[26:59] And you know what?

Dan McCoy

[27:00] I'm just going to throw on there,

Elliott Kalan

[27:02] uh,

[27:03] um,

[27:07] Moo,

[27:08] the lost continent of Moo.

[27:10] Oh,

[27:10] cool.

[27:10] Yeah.

[27:11] I mean,

[27:11] it's hard to get there.

[27:12] I mean,

[27:12] I hear they're,

Stuart Wellington

[27:13] I hear they're open.

[27:14] You don't even have to quarantine to go there.

Elliott Kalan

[27:15] Yeah.

[27:16] Yeah.

[27:16] I mean,

[27:16] the fact that nobody knows where it is and it probably never existed means that it's very traveler light.

[27:24] So I think it'd be,

[27:24] it'd be fun.

[27:25] You know,

[27:25] they're not tired out by tourists over there.

Stuart Wellington

[27:28] Yeah.

[27:28] The,

[27:28] uh,

[27:30] before,

[27:31] before the pandemic,

[27:32] uh,

[27:33] Charlene had mentioned that she wanted to take me to New Zealand for my 40th birthday.

[27:38] Of course,

[27:40] New Zealand.

[27:40] I don't know if you guys know this.

[27:41] It was the shooting location for the Lord of the Rings movies.

[27:45] One of those movies that I have quite a bit of affection for.

Dan McCoy

[27:49] Explain what the Lord of the Rings is.

[27:51] Could you,

[27:51] uh,

Stuart Wellington

[27:51] it's the story of this guy Gandalf and the,

[27:54] he gets in with his pals.

Elliott Kalan

[27:56] It's like a,

[27:56] it's like a jewelry movie,

[27:57] like uncut gems.

Stuart Wellington

[27:59] In a lot of ways it is,

[28:00] uh,

[28:01] stressful.

[28:01] It's got same highs and lows.

[28:03] There's a fair amount of gambling.

[28:05] Gandalf.

[28:05] I mean,

[28:05] take some big risks.

[28:07] Yeah.

[28:07] And there's the,

[28:07] and there's,

[28:08] uh,

[28:08] don't want to spoil anything.

[28:09] They pay off.

Elliott Kalan

[28:10] There's that part where,

[28:11] uh,

[28:12] where Gollum finally gets the ring and he says,

[28:13] I'm coming so hard right now.

Stuart Wellington

[28:15] Yeah,

[28:16] exactly.

[28:17] Uh,

[28:18] there's a fair amount of,

[28:20] there's a fair amount of come talk in,

[28:21] uh,

[28:22] in Lord of the Rings.

[28:23] It comes in pints for instance.

[28:25] Um,

[28:25] okay.

[28:25] So,

[28:26] uh,

[28:26] so I like,

[28:27] uh,

[28:28] I,

[28:28] obviously I've been thinking about New Zealand or maybe even Australia.

[28:32] You know,

[28:32] I haven't been to those places.

[28:33] I'd like to go sometime.

[28:34] Um,

[28:35] okay.

[28:37] If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life,

[28:40] what would it be?

[28:42] Dan,

[28:43] one thing for the rest of your life.

[28:45] It seems like a curse,

[28:46] but could it be a blessing?

[28:49] Uh,

Elliott Kalan

[28:50] now you,

[28:51] now wait,

[28:51] you mean one,

[28:52] many of the same thing,

[28:53] not like one potato and then you die of starvation because you can't eat

[28:56] anything else.

[28:57] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[28:58] One dish.

Dan McCoy

[28:59] Cause I feel like,

Stuart Wellington

[29:01] possibly even prepared by different chefs.

Elliott Kalan

[29:06] Yeah.

[29:06] This is the variations on the same theme you're saying.

[29:10] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[29:12] I mean the question,

[29:13] like this is where you get into the little,

[29:15] the legalese of questions,

[29:17] right?

[29:18] Cause,

[29:18] um,

[29:19] if you don't necessarily want to go with your,

[29:22] the,

[29:22] the favorite item,

[29:24] your favorite food item,

[29:26] maybe something that,

[29:27] uh,

[29:27] would cause you great pain if you ate it every day for the rest of your life.

Stuart Wellington

[29:31] Dana,

[29:31] are you going to talk about that thing where you like have to blindfold yourself

[29:35] and then eat a whole bird?

[29:36] I'm just,

Dan McCoy

[29:37] I'm not going to talk about that.

[29:39] I don't have no,

Stuart Wellington

[29:39] because you keep telling me how that's your favorite murder cult that you

[29:45] belong to.

[29:46] I don't,

[29:46] well,

Elliott Kalan

[29:47] the birds are very little.

[29:48] You can eat the bones.

[29:49] Yeah.

[29:49] Right.

Dan McCoy

[29:50] You know,

[29:51] I'm,

[29:51] I'm quite fond of like,

[29:53] for instance,

[29:54] uh,

[29:55] uh,

[29:55] barbecue brisket.

[29:57] Uh,

[29:57] but if I was to eat that all the time,

[30:00] only just that,

[30:01] I feel like I would be very sick indeed.

Elliott Kalan

[30:04] So this is,

[30:04] yeah.

[30:05] So considering this is a hypothetical anyway,

[30:07] are we assuming that,

[30:08] uh,

[30:09] the thing we eat is not going to like,

[30:11] if it's not the healthiest food in the world,

[30:12] that it's not going to just give us heart disease and things like that.

Stuart Wellington

[30:15] Yeah.

[30:16] So at this point we're talking about a thing that you will not tire of

[30:19] eating.

[30:19] And,

[30:19] but it,

Elliott Kalan

[30:20] but it does have a sort of a magical property where you're also not going to

[30:22] get like a heart attack if you eat nothing but that one thing.

Stuart Wellington

[30:25] Yeah.

[30:25] I mean,

[30:25] we're all,

[30:26] we're all going to die at some point guys.

Dan McCoy

[30:28] Yeah.

[30:29] Okay.

[30:29] Well,

[30:29] if we're living in a magical world,

[30:31] I'll,

[30:31] I'll put,

[30:32] I'll say,

[30:32] uh,

[30:33] give me a nice castle.

[30:34] Lay.

[30:34] You get,

[30:35] you get some,

[30:35] uh,

[30:36] beans that are flavored with some duck legs and some sausages.

[30:40] I love this.

[30:40] A lot of stuff in there.

[30:41] It's very good.

Elliott Kalan

[30:43] I,

[30:44] that reminds me of a story of,

[30:45] uh,

[30:45] my wife's grandfather when he was still alive and now he wants to order to

[30:48] cast lay in a restaurant because he was sure they would do it wrong.

[30:51] And he wanted to try it so he could point out to the waitress what they

[30:54] had done wrong with it.

[30:56] What a miserable way to live.

[30:58] It is.

[30:58] It's fun.

[30:59] No,

[30:59] he got a lot of delight out of it and he,

[31:01] and his plan went through perfectly.

[31:02] I think he got more joy out of pointing out the mistakes in the,

[31:05] in the preparation of the castle.

[31:07] Lay than in actually,

[31:08] if it had been great and he had enjoyed the taste.

[31:10] Uh,

Stuart Wellington

[31:10] uh,

[31:12] yeah.

[31:13] So Elliot,

[31:14] uh,

[31:14] what was yours?

[31:15] Uh,

[31:15] I mean,

[31:15] it's not much of a surprise.

Elliott Kalan

[31:17] Yeah.

[31:18] Anything off vines or trees.

[31:19] Uh,

[31:20] show me Popeye's.

[31:21] Uh,

Stuart Wellington

[31:22] I feel like this is a lame answer.

[31:25] It's probably the same answer I would have said when I was in like fifth grade or

[31:28] something,

[31:28] but it's probably pizza,

[31:29] right?

[31:30] Pizza's good.

[31:31] Pizza's great.

Elliott Kalan

[31:32] Yeah.

[31:33] Uh,

[31:33] I mean,

[31:34] You should live with two children and I think it's possible your taste for pizza will decline

[31:38] as they demand it at multiple meals a week.

Stuart Wellington

[31:41] I mean,

[31:42] if it's good enough for the Ninja Turtles,

[31:43] it's good enough for Stuart.

[31:44] Okay.

[31:45] They live in a sewer,

[31:46] Stu.

[31:48] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[31:49] Yeah.

[31:49] They have high standards.

Stuart Wellington

[31:50] The thing is,

Elliott Kalan

[31:51] the teacher's a rat.

[31:54] They don't wear clothes.

[31:55] They're naked in the sewers with a rat.

[31:57] Like their lives are terrible.

[32:01] Yeah,

[32:01] that's true.

[32:02] Not to mention the nonstop violence that they're subjected to.

[32:05] Yeah.

[32:06] Uh-huh.

[32:07] And dancing.

Dan McCoy

[32:08] They have to look in the interests of the public good.

[32:10] So at least there's that.

[32:10] I guess so.

Elliott Kalan

[32:11] I mean,

[32:11] there's a certain point you wonder if the Krang and,

[32:14] and Bebop and Rocksteady and Shredder are so incompetent.

[32:17] Like how much do the turtles really need to step in,

[32:19] you know,

[32:19] to stop them?

Stuart Wellington

[32:21] Yeah.

[32:21] You're saying that,

[32:22] uh,

[32:22] like Indiana Jones and Raiders of the Lost Ark,

[32:25] if the Ninja Turtles just stayed out of it,

[32:27] it,

[32:28] uh,

[32:28] it would have wrapped up neatly.

[32:29] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[32:29] worst case scenario,

[32:31] Baxter Stockman just flies away.

[32:33] Yeah,

[32:33] that's fair.

[32:34] Doesn't bother anybody.

[32:35] Yeah.

S4

[32:39] Hey there,

[32:40] beautiful people.

[32:40] Did you hear that good,

[32:42] good news?

[32:43] Something about the baby Jesus?

[32:45] Mmm,

[32:46] he's coming back.

[32:47] Or,

[32:48] do you mean the fact that Apple Podcasts is named Fanta,

[32:51] one of the best shows of 2020?

Elliott Kalan

[32:53] I mean,

[32:54] we already knew that we was hot stuff,

[32:56] but a little external validation never hurts,

[32:58] okay?

S4

[32:59] Hosted by me,

[33:01] writer and journalist,

[33:02] Jared Hill.

Elliott Kalan

[33:02] And me,

[33:03] the ebony and trantress myself,

S4

[33:06] Javel Anderson.

[33:08] Fanta is your home for complex conversations about the gray areas in our lives,

[33:12] the people,

[33:12] places,

[33:13] and things we're huge fans of,

[33:14] but got some anti-feelings toward.

Elliott Kalan

[33:16] You name it,

[33:17] we Fanta.

[33:18] Nobody's off limits.

S4

[33:20] Check us out every Thursday on MaximumFun.org,

[33:22] or wherever you get your slayworthy audio.

[33:25] Mr. Robot Man,

[33:26] what are you doing?

S5

[33:28] I'm just taking one last look at my co-workers.

[33:33] Every journey comes to an end.

[33:36] Remember,

[33:37] Plec,

[33:38] the space will be with you,

[33:40] always.

[33:41] Sorry,

[33:42] who are you again?

[33:43] It was Master Key around there.

Dan McCoy

[33:45] Oh,

[33:45] right,

[33:46] sorry.

[33:46] Friendships will be tested.

S4

[33:50] Doll,

[33:50] you have to do it.

[33:52] You have to shoot Plec.

[33:54] Okay.

S5

[33:56] You shot him so fast.

[33:58] Destinies will be fulfilled.

S4

[34:00] I've become a complete bird.

[34:03] I'm flying.

[34:05] I'm flying.

[34:07] Guys,

S5

[34:08] we don't have a choice.

[34:10] We have to put on a show.

Dan McCoy

[34:12] We can do it in the old barn.

[34:13] We've got the costumes.

[34:14] We've got a stage.

[34:15] We can do it,

[34:16] you guys.

S5

[34:17] Mission to Zix,

[34:19] the final season

[34:21] on Maximum Fun.

Stuart Wellington

[34:25] So,

[34:26] before we wrap up this quiz,

[34:28] I think it's,

[34:28] Dan has,

[34:29] Dan,

[34:30] you got a little message

[34:31] from our sponsors here.

Dan McCoy

[34:32] I do have a message

[34:33] from our sponsors.

[34:34] A quick word from Squarespace,

[34:37] in fact.

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[35:15] Wow.

[35:15] Head to

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[35:18] slash flop

[35:19] for a free trial

[35:21] and when you're ready

[35:22] to launch,

[35:23] use the offer code

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[35:25] that's F-L-O-P,

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[35:32] or domain.

Stuart Wellington

[35:34] Perfect.

[35:35] And that's it.

[35:36] Now,

[35:36] back to this

[35:38] get to know you quiz.

[35:41] I think we've been

Elliott Kalan

[35:42] making a mistake

[35:43] with the quiz.

[35:44] I think I've been answering

[35:44] honestly when I should have

[35:45] been answered in funny ways.

Stuart Wellington

[35:49] I mean,

[35:50] I think,

[35:50] you know.

[35:52] I like to think

Elliott Kalan

[35:52] that this is endearing.

Stuart Wellington

[35:54] Yeah.

[35:54] Okay, great.

[35:55] Or maybe not.

[35:56] Maybe people have already

[35:57] turned this off long ago.

[35:58] Now we're on

[35:58] question number 23.

[36:00] We put the end

Stuart Wellington

[36:00] in endearing.

[36:02] We're on question 23.

[36:04] I skipped a few.

[36:06] So,

[36:06] guys,

[36:08] you do not have tattoos.

[36:10] If you're going to get a tattoo,

[36:11] what would you get?

[36:13] Scrooge McDuck.

Dan McCoy

[36:14] That's a perfect one.

Elliott Kalan

[36:17] But peeing on something

[36:18] like Calvin?

[36:19] Yeah,

[36:19] he's peeing on Calvin.

Stuart Wellington

[36:21] He's peeing on Calvin

[36:22] who's peeing on a Chevrolet logo.

[36:25] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[36:27] What a layered tattoo.

[36:29] I was talking to my family

[36:31] about this

[36:31] and they talked me out of it.

[36:32] I was saying,

[36:33] I'm not going to get a tattoo

[36:34] but if I did,

[36:34] I could see getting like

[36:35] an octopus on my elbow

[36:37] and just tentacles

[36:38] go up and down my arms

[36:39] radiating out of that.

[36:41] I think it would look cool.

Stuart Wellington

[36:42] That does look,

[36:42] that sounds really cool.

[36:46] Guys,

[36:46] this question I think is,

[36:48] wait,

[36:49] Stu,

Elliott Kalan

[36:49] if you were going to get

[36:50] another tattoo,

[36:50] what would it be?

Stuart Wellington

[36:52] Oh,

[36:53] maybe a beholder

[36:54] or like a glass of booze

[36:57] or something.

Elliott Kalan

[37:00] To remind you,

[37:01] you're like,

[37:01] what do I sell again?

[37:02] Beholder.

Stuart Wellington

[37:03] Beholding a glass of booze.

[37:06] Oh,

[37:06] yeah.

[37:07] I had an idea

[37:08] where the,

[37:09] it was a cocktail

[37:10] where the garnish

[37:11] was a beholder

[37:13] that's been speared

[37:14] by a sword.

[37:15] Maybe someday

[37:16] I'll still get that.

[37:17] Okay.

[37:18] Guys,

[37:18] this one.

[37:19] Get it?

[37:20] Where?

Dan McCoy

[37:21] At the D&D themed bar.

Elliott Kalan

[37:23] It's called,

[37:24] you can still get it.

[37:25] Yeah.

[37:26] It's called,

[37:27] what's the name

[37:27] of a D&D themed bar?

[37:29] What's a good name for that?

Dan McCoy

[37:30] Uh,

[37:31] uh,

[37:32] saving throw.

Stuart Wellington

[37:33] You would,

[37:34] you would think

[37:34] I would have already had

[37:35] like a million

[37:36] of these queued up.

[37:38] Yeah.

[37:38] But I burned that list.

[37:40] I burned that list

[37:41] when we opened Hinterlands.

[37:42] Okay.

[37:42] So Elliot,

[37:43] what college major

[37:44] are you thinking

[37:45] of choosing

[37:45] and why?

Elliott Kalan

[37:46] What college major

[37:47] am I thinking of choosing?

[37:48] Oh,

[37:49] wait.

[37:50] Wait,

[37:50] no,

[37:51] skip that one.

[37:52] I mean,

[37:52] I'll answer the question.

[37:55] Communications?

[37:56] It's pretty applicable

[37:56] to lots of different businesses.

Stuart Wellington

[37:58] That's,

[37:58] that's a good point.

[37:59] Dan?

Dan McCoy

[38:00] Um,

[38:01] uh,

[38:04] well,

[38:04] computer science.

[38:06] I gotta,

[38:07] gotta go back in time

[38:09] and get a,

[38:10] get a real job.

[38:12] Job of the future.

Stuart Wellington

[38:13] Fair.

[38:14] Uh,

[38:14] what,

[38:15] you were what,

[38:15] an English major?

Dan McCoy

[38:17] I was an English

[38:17] and theater double major.

Stuart Wellington

[38:19] Double major.

[38:20] Wow.

[38:21] That makes them doubly,

[38:22] uh,

[38:22] valuable,

[38:23] right?

Dan McCoy

[38:23] Doubly,

[38:24] I doubled up on,

[38:25] on majors that don't

[38:28] have a lot of employment

[38:29] opportunities,

[38:30] but I lucked out.

Stuart Wellington

[38:30] But you've been working

[38:31] for years.

Dan McCoy

[38:32] I have been working,

[38:33] well,

[38:33] after,

[38:34] after about a decade

[38:35] of not at the beginning.

Stuart Wellington

[38:37] Elliot,

[38:37] you majored in

[38:38] physical education,

[38:39] right?

Elliott Kalan

[38:40] Yeah,

[38:40] yeah.

[38:40] Well,

[38:41] I majored,

[38:41] and not to,

[38:42] not to teach physical education,

[38:43] but just to know my body

[38:44] really well,

[38:45] to know what it's capable of,

[38:46] to know what it,

[38:47] the pleasures and pains

[38:48] it can produce.

[38:49] uh,

[38:50] you know,

[38:51] it meant a lot of

[38:52] journeying around the world,

[38:53] testing myself,

[38:54] doing things that would

[38:55] break an ordinary person,

[38:57] but now,

[38:57] I just know my body

[38:58] inside and out,

[38:59] and I just know I have

[39:00] to keep filling this

[39:00] gas tank with chicken,

[39:01] so that I can,

[39:02] I can keep operating

[39:03] at peak efficiency.

[39:04] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[39:05] Uh,

[39:06] Elliot,

[39:07] what's the worst

[39:08] you've ever been

[39:08] physically hurt?

[39:11] Um,

Elliott Kalan

[39:11] I am very lucky

[39:13] in that I've avoided

[39:14] most physical pain.

[39:17] Uh,

[39:18] like I've never had

[39:18] like a broken bone

[39:19] or something like that.

[39:21] Yeah,

[39:21] but I've had,

[39:22] you know,

[39:22] I've needed,

[39:23] when I was a kid,

[39:24] like I had to have

[39:24] a hernia operation,

[39:25] that was really painful.

[39:26] Oh,

[39:26] yeah,

[39:26] yeah.

[39:27] And,

[39:27] uh,

[39:27] I've had a lot of like,

[39:29] uh,

[39:30] like knee pain

[39:31] at various points.

[39:33] Uh,

[39:33] not Dan ACL knee pain,

[39:35] it wasn't that bad,

[39:36] I guess.

[39:37] But,

[39:37] uh,

[39:37] so the worst

[39:38] I've ever been,

[39:38] but does this mean

[39:39] emotionally also

[39:40] or just physically?

[39:41] Uh,

[39:41] physically.

[39:42] Okay,

[39:42] because emotionally

[39:43] I've been hurt much worse.

[39:44] Oh,

[39:44] I'm sure.

[39:45] I think we all have.

[39:46] Oh,

[39:46] very much so.

[39:47] Um,

[39:49] but,

[39:49] um,

[39:50] yeah,

[39:51] let me think about it

[39:51] some more.

[39:52] But I've never had like

[39:52] one big thing

[39:53] where I got hurt

[39:54] really badly

[39:55] and then had to like

[39:56] recover from it,

[39:57] you know?

Stuart Wellington

[39:58] Yeah,

[39:58] I think,

[39:59] Dan,

[39:59] not to,

[40:00] not to steal your thunder,

[40:01] but I feel like

[40:02] your answer is,

[40:02] uh,

[40:03] part of Flophouse lore

[40:04] at this point,

[40:04] right?

Dan McCoy

[40:05] Well,

[40:06] I,

[40:06] yes,

[40:08] but not,

[40:08] I mean,

[40:08] not necessarily

[40:09] how one would think.

[40:10] I,

[40:11] I too have

[40:12] avoided most physical pain,

[40:15] knock on wood.

[40:16] Uh,

[40:17] I've been very fortunate

[40:17] that way.

[40:18] I tore my ACL.

[40:19] The thing about tearing

[40:20] your ACL,

[40:21] though,

[40:21] is like,

[40:21] it is extremely sharp pain

[40:23] for the brief period

[40:25] of time

[40:25] where the,

[40:26] uh,

[40:28] the ACL is popping off

[40:29] of your,

[40:30] uh,

[40:30] inside of your

[40:31] knee where it's attached.

[40:33] Uh,

[40:34] but the actual,

[40:35] uh,

[40:36] you know,

[40:37] uh,

[40:38] thing itself

[40:38] is just cartilage.

[40:40] It does not have

[40:40] nerves in it.

[40:42] Um,

[40:43] so,

[40:43] which is why I didn't know

[40:45] I had done something

[40:46] to myself,

[40:47] uh,

[40:48] and I skied down

[40:49] the rest of the hill

[40:50] where it tore

[40:51] after I,

[40:52] uh,

[40:53] had had it happen

[40:54] just feeling like,

[40:55] oh,

[40:55] the balance is off.

[40:56] Something weird's going on.

Stuart Wellington

[40:58] Yeah,

[40:58] and you had to save

[40:59] that rec center,

[41:00] right?

[41:00] So you had to make sure

[41:01] you finished the run.

Dan McCoy

[41:02] Yeah,

[41:03] it was hard to,

[41:04] uh,

[41:05] but then once I came

[41:06] out of my surgery

[41:08] to have it fixed,

[41:11] uh,

[41:12] they were not

[41:13] very attentive.

[41:14] They were not

[41:14] paying attention

[41:16] to the fact

[41:16] that my anesthesia

[41:18] had worn off

[41:19] and the,

[41:21] um,

[41:22] the brace

[41:23] was digging

[41:24] into my surgery

[41:25] site

[41:26] pretty severely.

[41:28] and so I was

[41:28] writhing in pain

[41:29] at that point,

[41:30] uh,

[41:31] but the actual ACL

[41:32] was not,

[41:33] was not so bad

[41:34] because again,

[41:34] no nerves

[41:35] in the,

[41:35] the cartilage there.

Elliott Kalan

[41:38] I just realized something.

[41:39] Dan's talk reminded me

[41:40] of the time

[41:40] that I was kidnapped

[41:41] by a scientist

[41:42] and my mouth

[41:43] was,

[41:43] was sewn

[41:44] to the butt

[41:45] of another person

[41:46] and then my butt

[41:46] was sewn

[41:47] to another person's mouth.

[41:48] skin that's emotional pain.

[41:50] Yeah,

[41:50] it was mostly emotional pain

[41:51] but it certainly,

[41:52] it didn't feel,

[41:53] it was uncomfortable.

[41:54] It was a lot of discomfort.

[41:55] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[41:56] Yeah.

[41:56] But luckily you're here now.

[41:58] Uh,

[41:59] and your mouth works

[42:00] just fine

[42:01] from what I can tell.

[42:02] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[42:04] Well that was the,

[42:04] I was,

[42:05] I was actually

[42:05] kicked out of the program.

[42:06] The scientist eventually

[42:07] let me free

[42:08] because I wouldn't

[42:08] stop talking

[42:09] and it was,

[42:10] and he just got tired

[42:11] of all the like

[42:11] mumbling sounds

[42:12] coming from.

[42:13] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[42:13] No,

[42:13] and uh,

[42:14] all your,

[42:15] your stream of bits

[42:16] just inflated the guy

[42:18] you were attached to

[42:18] and he popped like a balloon.

Elliott Kalan

[42:20] Exactly,

[42:20] yeah,

[42:21] so the scientist said,

[42:22] I'm sorry,

[42:22] we're gonna have to let you go

[42:23] and I was like,

[42:24] no, no, no,

[42:24] I can still do this.

[42:25] I don't know why

[42:25] I was arguing for him

[42:26] to retain me in the program.

[42:28] I didn't,

[42:28] again,

[42:29] I was kidnapped but,

[42:30] uh,

[42:31] uh,

[42:31] well,

[42:32] I,

[42:32] I forgot to mention,

[42:33] I do some,

[42:34] I do get excruciating headaches

[42:35] that,

[42:36] that suddenly appear

[42:37] out of nowhere

[42:37] and then disappear

[42:38] very quickly

[42:38] as if,

[42:40] like a ghost bullet

[42:40] has just traveled

[42:41] through my head

[42:42] and I once,

[42:42] I talked to my doctor

[42:44] about it years ago

[42:44] and she goes,

[42:45] yeah,

[42:45] I've heard of those,

[42:46] they end pretty quickly,

[42:47] right?

[42:47] And like,

[42:47] and like,

[42:48] yeah,

[42:48] and she goes,

[42:48] by the time

[42:49] you're gonna do anything

[42:50] about them,

[42:50] they're over

[42:50] so don't worry about it

[42:51] and I was like,

[42:51] or dead.

[42:53] I was like,

[42:54] that doesn't seem like

[42:54] the best,

[42:55] best plan,

[42:56] but okay.

[42:57] Yeah.

[42:57] But Stuart,

[42:58] I know you were attacked

[42:58] by a bunch of bees once.

Stuart Wellington

[43:00] Uh,

[43:00] yeah,

[43:00] I,

[43:01] I was,

[43:02] I've told that,

[43:02] I've been attacked

[43:03] by bees multiple times,

[43:04] guys.

[43:06] That's because I'm always

[43:07] getting into trouble.

[43:08] That's why you wrote

Dan McCoy

[43:09] that monograph,

[43:10] so you're being attacked

Stuart Wellington

[43:11] by bees.

[43:12] Yeah.

[43:13] I'm always sticking,

[43:14] sticking my snout

[43:14] where I don't belong.

[43:16] Uh,

[43:16] usually honey,

[43:17] usually hives

[43:17] full of honey,

[43:18] yeah.

[43:18] Let's see,

[43:19] uh,

[43:20] I've broken my arm

[43:21] in a couple different places,

[43:23] uh,

[43:23] I've broken my nose,

[43:24] I've broken my fingers,

[43:26] I had a full thickness

[43:28] ligament tear

[43:28] in my thumb,

[43:30] uh,

[43:30] my back is fucked up,

[43:32] uh,

[43:33] my body's kind of

[43:34] a roadmap of pain,

[43:35] uh,

[43:36] let's see,

[43:37] oh,

[43:37] and,

[43:38] yeah.

[43:38] But it's,

[43:39] but it's like

[43:39] next stop Wonderland,

[43:40] like it's,

[43:41] you know,

[43:41] not,

[43:42] not,

[43:42] not the best kind of Wonderland.

[43:44] Yeah,

[43:44] we're not there yet.

[43:44] Um,

[43:45] and,

[43:45] uh,

[43:45] Wonderland.

[43:46] I,

[43:47] uh,

[43:47] and also when I was

[43:49] in college,

[43:50] I had to have,

[43:51] uh,

[43:51] facial surgery

[43:52] to correct

[43:53] an underbite

[43:54] so they had,

[43:55] uh,

[43:55] chop my face apart

[43:56] and,

[43:57] uh,

[43:57] turn it into the,

[43:59] uh,

[43:59] picture of perfection

[44:00] that you see before you.

[44:01] Um,

[44:01] okay,

[44:02] now that we've talked

[44:03] about that heavy stuff,

[44:03] we got,

[44:04] we got a lighter one.

[44:06] Elliot,

[44:06] do you like roller coasters?

[44:09] Yes.

[44:10] Cool.

[44:11] Dan?

Dan McCoy

[44:12] Uh,

[44:13] not really.

[44:15] I liked,

[44:15] I liked Space Mountain,

[44:17] but,

[44:17] uh,

[44:18] mostly I prefer

[44:19] the kind of

[44:20] amusement ride

[44:21] that you'll find

[44:22] at,

[44:23] say,

[44:23] Disneyland

[44:23] or something

[44:24] where you just

[44:25] float past

[44:26] something

[44:26] and get to look

[44:28] at it

[44:29] more than something

[44:30] that's gonna shake

[44:30] your rounds

[44:31] and scare you.

Stuart Wellington

[44:34] Uh,

[44:35] you know,

[44:35] I'm a fan.

[44:36] I,

[44:37] I came to them

[44:37] later in life

[44:38] and,

[44:38] uh,

[44:39] I also,

[44:39] uh,

[44:40] get motion sick

[44:41] pretty easily,

[44:42] but I like,

[44:43] uh,

[44:44] I like,

[44:44] like a nice

[44:45] wooden roller coaster.

[44:46] I think I like

[44:46] the old timiness

[44:47] of it.

[44:48] Sure,

[44:48] sure.

Elliott Kalan

[44:49] Like the Cyclone,

[44:50] can't be beat.

[44:51] Like,

[44:52] like many small people,

[44:53] I love being tossed

[44:54] around through the air.

[44:55] Uh,

[44:56] so I'm a,

[44:57] I'm a big fan of them.

[44:58] Big fan.

[44:59] And I like heights

[44:59] because I don't get

[45:00] to experience that

[45:01] very much.

[45:02] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[45:03] Yeah.

[45:03] Uh,

[45:03] even though it's

[45:04] a fleeting sensation

[45:05] on a roller coaster.

Elliott Kalan

[45:06] Yeah,

[45:06] yeah.

[45:07] Well,

[45:07] it teaches me

[45:07] that I shouldn't

[45:08] admire,

[45:09] I shouldn't envy

[45:10] tall people

[45:10] because their lives

[45:11] are just blinks

[45:13] of an eye

[45:13] for God.

[45:14] So,

[45:14] you know,

[45:15] the roller coaster

[45:15] really teaches me that.

Dan McCoy

[45:16] Experience what it is

[45:18] to be Icarus

[45:18] and see.

Elliott Kalan

[45:20] Yeah,

[45:20] without all that

[45:21] messy wax

[45:21] getting all over me.

[45:23] Yeah,

[45:23] that shit's gross.

[45:25] I will say,

[45:25] like,

[45:26] one of the,

[45:26] one of my favorite

[45:27] roller coasters

[45:28] is still probably

[45:28] the Coney Island Cyclone

[45:30] because the way

[45:31] that the safety bar

[45:32] does not really reach me

[45:33] so I have to wedge myself

[45:34] into the seat,

[45:35] basically,

[45:36] and hold on

[45:36] and like push out

[45:37] with my hands

[45:38] the entire time

[45:39] so I don't fall out

[45:40] and so it adds

[45:41] a little bit of extra

[45:42] real danger

[45:42] to what should be

[45:43] just simulated danger.

Stuart Wellington

[45:47] So,

[45:48] we have,

[45:48] we got another

[45:49] light one here.

[45:50] As opposed to

Elliott Kalan

[45:52] the heavy,

[45:53] dark question

[45:53] about do you

[45:54] like roller coasters?

Stuart Wellington

[45:56] Elliot,

[45:56] do you believe

[45:57] in soulmates?

[45:59] No.

[46:01] Okay.

[46:02] Dan?

Dan McCoy

[46:03] No,

[46:04] that's,

[46:04] I,

[46:05] there's not

[46:05] one true person

[46:07] for you.

[46:08] Love is in part

[46:09] a choice that you make

[46:10] and you work at.

[46:13] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[46:14] I believe that I have

[46:16] two soulmates.

[46:17] They're called

[46:18] Ellie and Dan

[46:18] and we do a show

[46:19] called The Flop House

[46:19] together.

[46:20] Oh boy,

[46:20] boy,

[46:20] is there an egg

[46:21] on my face now.

[46:23] Bet you guys feel

[46:24] like shitheads.

[46:25] Yeah.

[46:26] Elliot,

[46:26] if you were an animal,

[46:29] what animal would you be?

[46:30] What animal would I be

[46:32] or what animal

[46:32] would I want to be?

[46:34] I'm going to say

[46:35] what animal

[46:35] would you want to be?

Elliott Kalan

[46:37] Okay,

[46:37] because I'd want

[46:38] to be like,

[46:39] um,

[46:40] I don't know,

[46:42] like a bison maybe?

[46:44] Cool.

[46:44] I always liked them.

[46:45] But I'd probably be

[46:46] one of those,

[46:47] like,

[46:47] those little dogs

[46:48] that doesn't stop

[46:48] barking all the time.

[46:50] If I'm being honest

[46:51] with myself.

Elliott Kalan

[46:51] I mean,

[46:51] they get a lot

Stuart Wellington

[46:52] of love and attention

[46:52] and they also get

Elliott Kalan

[46:53] to travel around

[46:54] in a purse

[46:55] or some other

[46:55] kind of carrier.

[46:56] I mean,

[46:56] it is the dream

[46:57] of being put

[46:58] in a bag by a giant

[46:59] and carry it around,

[47:00] you know.

[47:01] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[47:04] I would like

[47:04] to be an otter.

[47:06] You get to,

[47:06] you get to,

[47:07] like,

[47:08] you know,

[47:08] slide down,

[47:10] you know,

[47:10] water slides

[47:11] and,

[47:12] uh,

[47:13] just like swim around,

[47:15] duck in and out,

[47:16] lie on your back,

[47:17] uh,

[47:17] with like some food

[47:19] on your stomach.

[47:19] Every now and then

Elliott Kalan

[47:20] you can start up

[47:21] a jug band.

[47:22] Yeah,

Dan McCoy

[47:22] it's a good idea.

Stuart Wellington

[47:24] Yeah,

[47:25] I mean,

[47:25] I feel it's hard,

[47:26] it's hard to say

[47:27] not polar bear

[47:28] or seal

[47:29] because when you see

[47:30] them at the zoo,

[47:32] they,

[47:33] like,

[47:33] that is the most

[47:34] FOMO

[47:35] I can think of,

[47:36] is when it's like

[47:37] a hot day

[47:37] and you're at the zoo

[47:38] and you just see

[47:39] those dudes,

[47:39] like,

[47:39] swimming around

[47:40] and having a good

[47:41] ass time in the water.

[47:42] I'm like,

[47:42] I mean,

[47:42] but it's still much,

Elliott Kalan

[47:43] it's even in the water,

[47:44] it's much warmer

[47:45] than the habitat

[47:46] they're designed

[47:47] to be in,

Stuart Wellington

[47:48] you know.

[47:48] I,

[47:48] I understand that,

[47:50] but I'm just saying,

[47:51] like,

[47:51] man,

[47:51] like,

[47:52] if they can have

[47:52] that much fun

[47:53] in a shitty situation,

[47:55] they're just making

[47:57] the best of it.

[47:57] Can I,

Elliott Kalan

[47:57] can I change my answer?

[47:58] I'd actually like

[47:59] to be a cormorant.

[47:59] You can't say dragon,

[48:00] that's my backup.

[48:01] No,

[48:01] okay,

[48:02] well then,

[48:02] actually I would want

[48:03] to say dinosaur,

[48:03] but I'll be a cormorant,

[48:04] that's a diving bird,

[48:06] they can fly,

[48:06] they're beautiful,

[48:07] and also,

[48:08] they're the most efficient

[48:09] maritime predator

[48:11] for amount of effort

[48:12] put in,

[48:13] for amount of food

[48:13] that they are able

[48:14] to catch.

[48:15] I learned that recently.

[48:17] Yeah.

[48:19] Okay,

[48:20] so that was,

[48:21] let's see.

Dan McCoy

[48:21] And my backup answer

[48:22] is Scrooge McDuck,

[48:24] again.

Elliott Kalan

[48:25] Technically an animal,

[48:26] it works.

[48:26] Yep.

[48:27] And he can buy

[48:28] all that stuff

[48:29] that you wanted to buy

[48:29] before,

[48:30] because money's

[48:30] no object for him.

[48:32] I mean,

[48:32] but as Dan has mentioned

[48:34] in his live performances

[48:35] sometimes,

[48:36] that Scrooge McDuck's

[48:37] money seems to be

[48:38] measured mainly

[48:39] in coin volume.

Dan McCoy

[48:41] Yeah.

[48:42] Not a lot of,

[48:43] yeah,

[48:44] paper money in there.

Stuart Wellington

[48:45] Okay,

[48:45] we're in the home stretch

[48:46] here, guys.

[48:47] Elliot,

[48:48] what TV show

[48:48] do you turn on

[48:49] when you just want

[48:50] to zone out

[48:51] and feel better?

Elliott Kalan

[48:53] It's either

[48:54] Mystery Science Theater 3000,

[48:56] I'll just turn on

[48:57] the Pluto TV

[48:57] Mystery Science Theater

[48:58] channel and watch

[48:59] a little bit of it,

[49:00] or until recently

[49:02] when my wife and I

[49:04] just wanted to laugh

[49:05] and we couldn't

[49:06] think of what to watch,

[49:07] we would just

[49:07] turn on Seinfeld,

[49:08] but then Hulu

[49:09] switched Seinfeld

[49:10] to their

[49:10] you have to buy

[49:11] cable through Hulu

[49:12] department,

[49:14] which I did not

[49:16] care for.

[49:16] So I'll stick with

[49:18] Mystery Science Theater

[49:19] 3000.

[49:20] I feel like I can

[49:21] dip in and dip out

[49:22] because the episodes

[49:22] are long.

[49:23] It's a whole movie.

[49:24] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[49:26] Well,

[49:27] I also was going to

[49:28] say Mystery Science

[49:29] Theater 3000.

[49:30] That is my...

[49:31] But then I scooped you.

[49:32] That's my preferred

[49:34] napping show

[49:36] because it's a very

[49:37] comforting rhythm

[49:38] where not much

[49:39] is going on in the movie

[49:40] and you just have

[49:41] people sort of

[49:41] talking over it.

[49:42] It's kind of

[49:44] podcast-like

[49:45] in that way

[49:46] and you can just

[49:48] sort of

[49:49] just enjoy

[49:51] a comforting

[49:51] river

[49:52] of

[49:53] dumb old movie

[49:55] with

[49:55] some

[49:56] friends

[49:57] riffing over it

[49:58] and

[49:59] At the beginning

[50:00] of the pandemic

[50:00] I was watching

[50:01] through the

[50:03] good seasons

[50:04] of The Simpsons

[50:05] so that's another one.

Stuart Wellington

[50:07] That's the most

[50:08] recent season?

[50:11] Hoo,

[50:12] boy.

Elliott Kalan

[50:13] Yeah,

[50:14] I mean,

[50:14] I think...

[50:14] You said,

[50:15] Dan,

[50:16] you said The Simpsons

[50:17] really went downhill

[50:18] when Hank Azaria

[50:19] stopped doing

[50:19] Abou's voice.

[50:20] Shut up.

[50:22] I love to put

[50:24] insensitive words

Stuart Wellington

[50:26] into Dan's mouth.

[50:28] Yeah,

[50:29] I think lately

[50:29] I think

[50:30] my comfort show

[50:32] is just kind of

[50:33] like randomly

[50:33] picking an episode

[50:36] of Schitt's Creek

[50:36] because it's just

[50:38] pleasant

[50:38] and people are nice.

[50:40] Although,

[50:41] I guess in the past

[50:42] it was something

[50:42] like Spaced

[50:43] because I'm a bit

[50:45] of an Anglophile

[50:46] when it comes to TV.

Elliott Kalan

[50:48] In the past

[50:49] I would put on

[50:50] my news radio DVDs

[50:52] a lot

[50:52] for that purpose.

[50:54] Cain weather.

Stuart Wellington

[50:55] Because you love

[50:56] Joe Rogan.

Elliott Kalan

[51:00] It's one of the...

[51:01] It's so funny

[51:01] because it's like

[51:02] I think about this

[51:03] sometimes that like

[51:03] watching that show

[51:04] as an adolescent

[51:05] if you were said to me

[51:06] which member of the cast

[51:08] is going to become

[51:08] one of the most

[51:10] listened to

[51:11] people in media

[51:12] and like a major

[51:13] political force

[51:14] I'd be like

[51:15] well,

[51:15] any of them

[51:15] but Joe Rogan.

[51:17] It's crazy.

Stuart Wellington

[51:18] Yeah,

[51:19] like

[51:19] that his stepping stone

[51:21] was making people

[51:22] eat bugs for money.

Elliott Kalan

[51:24] He's had an interesting

[51:24] career

[51:25] progression.

Stuart Wellington

[51:28] Okay guys,

[51:29] here's...

[51:29] Let's just wrap this up.

[51:30] We have one more question

[51:31] and this one's

[51:32] for all the marbles.

[51:34] So this is a game.

[51:36] It's always a game.

[51:37] What is your favorite color

[51:41] and what's your

[51:42] least favorite color?

Dan McCoy

[51:49] My favorite color

[51:50] is green

[51:51] and my least favorite

[51:52] color is red.

Elliott Kalan

[51:54] I think my

[51:54] you know,

[51:55] my favorite color

[51:56] is blue

[51:56] and my least favorite

[51:57] color is probably

[51:57] The Color of Night

[51:58] starring Bruce Willis.

Stuart Wellington

[52:00] Wow.

[52:00] Is it because

[52:01] you see his wiener

[52:02] or...

Elliott Kalan

[52:03] I think

[52:04] because you'd see

[52:04] his wiener

[52:05] and it's not earned.

[52:06] Okay.

[52:07] That's fair.

[52:08] Yeah,

[52:08] it seems gratuitous.

Stuart Wellington

[52:10] Yeah,

[52:11] I think...

[52:12] Let's see.

[52:15] I feel like

[52:15] I would say

[52:16] like a nice

[52:18] blue.

[52:19] I'm feeling blue

[52:20] lately.

[52:21] Da-boo-dee-da-boo-dao.

[52:23] I beat Elliot

[52:24] to the punch

[52:25] on that one.

[52:25] I can't believe

Elliott Kalan

[52:25] I didn't say

[52:26] that before.

[52:27] Oh, man.

Stuart Wellington

[52:28] I was so busy

[52:29] trying to think

[52:29] of a color

[52:30] of night joke.

[52:32] Yeah.

[52:33] And then

[52:35] I feel like

[52:36] I guess

[52:38] I'm not into

[52:39] like yellow

[52:40] as much.

[52:40] I'm just thinking

[52:41] about my wardrobe

[52:42] at this point.

Elliott Kalan

[52:44] So you mean

[52:45] the band

[52:45] Yellow

[52:46] who's hit

[52:46] Oh Yeah

[52:47] is heard

[52:47] throughout

[52:48] Ferris Bueller's

[52:48] Day Off.

Stuart Wellington

[52:49] Oh, I didn't realize

[52:50] that was the name

[52:51] of the band.

[52:51] What song do they sing?

[52:53] That's called

[52:53] Oh Yeah.

[52:54] How does that song go?

Elliott Kalan

[52:57] I just imagine

[52:59] a Twix commercial

[53:00] and you'll hear it.

Dan McCoy

[53:01] Beautiful.

[53:03] More beautiful.

[53:05] So, Stuart,

[53:06] are we

[53:07] in love

[53:09] with one another now?

[53:10] Are these

[53:11] the New York Times?

[53:13] Yeah, yeah.

[53:13] What pets

[53:14] are right for us?

[53:16] What's the quiz?

Elliott Kalan

[53:18] Like, which Game of Thrones

[53:19] character did turn out

[53:20] we were?

Stuart Wellington

[53:20] This was

[53:21] 71 good questions

[53:22] to ask your best friends

[53:24] from Teen Vogue

[53:26] from last year.

[53:27] Now,

[53:28] I did skip

[53:29] a bunch

[53:30] I wish I had known

[53:31] that beforehand.

[53:33] Many of which

[53:33] there's a weird

[53:35] amount of doubles.

[53:37] But, you know,

[53:38] that's part of

[53:38] conversations

[53:39] with your friends.

[53:40] Sometimes you just

[53:41] you backtrack

[53:41] and say the same thing.

[53:43] Yeah, yeah.

[53:44] Do the same bits

[53:45] over and over and over.

[53:47] But I hope

[53:48] for our listeners

[53:49] at home,

[53:50] if you're a new listener,

[53:51] hopefully this gives you

[53:52] an idea of

[53:53] what these three guys

[53:54] are all about.

[53:55] It doesn't really

[53:56] give you an idea

[53:56] what the show is like,

[53:57] but that's enough.

[53:59] And if you're

[54:00] a long-time listener,

[54:01] maybe this clears

[54:01] some things up.

Dan McCoy

[54:03] Yeah.

[54:04] Thanks, Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[54:06] No, you're welcome, Dan.

[54:08] I'm, you know,

[54:09] I'm just trying to help

[54:09] get us all

[54:11] to come out

[54:11] of our shells

[54:12] a little.

Elliott Kalan

[54:13] Yeah.

[54:14] Like Ninja Turtles.

Stuart Wellington

[54:16] On their tour.

[54:17] But if you take them

[54:18] out of their shells,

[54:19] they're just going to die,

Elliott Kalan

[54:20] so that's too bad.

[54:21] Yeah, it's attached

[54:21] to their backbone.

[54:23] You just got to rip them out.

[54:24] Now, here's the thing

[54:24] about the coming

[54:25] out of our shells tour

[54:26] that the Ninja Turtles

[54:26] were on.

[54:27] They did not come

[54:27] out of their shells.

[54:28] They were still

[54:29] in their shells.

[54:31] That's a good point.

[54:32] Yeah, no,

Stuart Wellington

[54:32] that's a good point.

[54:33] Do we need to get

[54:33] a refund?

[54:34] Yeah.

[54:36] Is it too late?

[54:40] This show is on

[54:41] part of the MaxFun Network.

[54:43] You can support us

[54:44] and other shows

[54:45] on the network

[54:46] by going to

[54:46] maximumfun.org

[54:47] slash join.

[54:48] This show is produced

[54:49] by Alex Smith.

[54:50] He's the one

[54:51] that makes it sound good

[54:52] and inserts

[54:53] sound effects for us.

[54:55] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[54:57] I've been Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[54:59] I'm Elliot Kalin,

[54:59] and I'm feeling

[55:02] a little vulnerable

[55:03] after revealing

[55:03] all those things

[55:04] about myself,

[55:05] but it's a good feeling

[55:05] of vulnerable.

Stuart Wellington

[55:06] Oh, cool.

[55:10] MaximumFun.org

S4

[55:14] Comedy and culture.

[55:16] Artist owned.

[55:17] Audience supported.

FH Mini 36 - Let's Get Quizzical

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