mini Oct 30, 2021 00:42:09

Transcript

[0:00] So I was watching I was watching 10 things I hate about you today and I'm
[0:08] sure classic Halloween film are there are there prop houses in LA that
[0:14] specifically do school desks but sized for adults because I think that's for
[0:23] the price the prop house not the flop out start well fucking prop house
[0:28] fucking FaceTime me right now I'm just waiting for your FaceTime yeah adults
[0:34] and high school students are not that yeah I think you have not when was the
[0:40] last time you tried to sit in one of those desks I think I was 17 I definitely
[0:50] sat in one when I I was trying to be I was trying to be a teacher I was
[0:54] misguided and it was tough man it was tough to fit in that cram my my big
[1:02] wiener and bowls into that into that chair bigger desks they don't give me
[1:09] the offer like I had to sit in the desk for the like interview process I thought
[1:18] you were like hey let's break down the barriers I'm not any better than you why
[1:21] should I have this big desk I'll sit in one of your teeny weenie desks well it's
[1:25] like one of those one of those Broadway shows where like you suddenly realized
[1:28] that the whole cast is like hidden in the audience well I got the kids here
[1:33] like looking around like where's the student where's the teacher it's just a
[1:37] student here and I whip off my fucking beret and my half cape and I'm like I'm
[1:42] not one of you cool kids it's me Stuart okay in that voice huh yeah yeah I was
[1:49] trying something new I mean they all made fun of me and I left crying well I
[1:55] feel like we've started the episode already I'll just mention that uh this
[2:01] is welcome to Flophouse this is a mini week when we do not talk about a movie
[2:06] that we watched but instead just kind of do whatever I of course am the rotating
[2:11] host for this episode my name is Elliot Kalin and joining me are my co-hosts who
[2:16] have also taken their turn hosting minis and they are Dan McCoy Stuart
[2:23] Wellington and guys I've got a very exciting mini for you today people may
[2:28] remember my Elliot explains the Eternals episode from whenever that was I don't
[2:34] remember anything about it okay well all you need to know is the Eternals are
[2:39] fairly dull but I'm sure it'll be very exciting so I was super excited recently
[2:46] when I learned of the casting of well not super excited let's say I was
[2:50] intrigued casting of Will Poulter as Adam Warlock in Guardians of the Galaxy
[2:54] 3 and more like is one of my favorite Marvel characters of course my
[2:58] favoritist is spider-man but Adam Warlock might be number two and he's a
[3:03] character a lot of people don't know he's a very he's interesting character
[3:06] it's kind of the closest that Marvel Universe has to Elric of Melnibon the
[3:11] clear it up anymore from I think I've explained to him in terms we all
[3:16] understand it's time for something I'm gonna call Elliot explains Adam Warlock
[3:23] so here's the Elliot explains okay sometimes people don't know about Adam
[3:28] Warlock like me don't worry pal I'm gonna tell you all about Warlock from
[3:34] New Mutants no a different character named Warlock he's got a first name
[3:38] Adam so here we go I'm gonna show you all about Adam wait hold on did you guys
[3:45] here hold on a second wait no someone's knocking at my door hold on a second oh
[3:50] dear yeah okay yeah I guess so okay yeah sorry guys I apologize something's come
[4:02] up we're not gonna be able to do the Elliot explains Adam Warlock episode
[4:06] someone just walked in he wanted to talk to you guys he should probably
[4:10] introduce himself well hello gentlemen it's Oh me Tom Brokaw America's favorite
[4:17] newsman and I have to say I had to come here from my complex in Bozeman Montana
[4:22] when I heard that Elliot was hoping to do a flophouse mini without asking me to
[4:29] join and talk about the movie event of the third millennium that's right the
[4:34] new adaption of Dune of the movie event of the second millennium of Tom Brokaw
[4:39] yeah yeah it was the 1984 adaptation of Dune and the movie event of the first
[4:43] millennium was the Bible I guess Dan do you have any questions I very much
[4:52] wanted to talk about the film yeah the weekend before we record this yes Daniel
[4:58] before you do that maybe you should just explain to our younger listeners who the
[5:03] hell you are just just because they may only know you as a Dune fanatic it's
[5:10] pot I mean at this point that is pretty much my full-time occupation is
[5:14] spreading the gospel of Frank Herbert's brilliant Dune a novel series but some
[5:20] may know me as the your bit you ask your parents about me and they'll tell you
[5:24] that I was a longtime host of NBC nightly news and perhaps the most
[5:29] trusted man in American broadcasting for quite some time I also co-wrote the
[5:35] bestseller the greatest generation of the story of the men and women who
[5:40] fought World War two it's an epic tale almost as exciting and as inspiring as
[5:47] that of Paul Atreides the heir of house Atreides as he makes his way from Cal
[5:53] to the one who is seeking to bring enlightenment to the universe but
[6:00] instead contributes only violence and conflict in the end and eventually has a
[6:05] descendant who becomes a big sandworm it's amazing in a later book but you
[6:13] perhaps know me best as Dune head a number one yeah I don't know I don't
[6:21] know anything about the story where it goes after the initial novel so this is
[6:26] interesting well throw out everything you think you know about doing Dan or
[6:31] Daniel or Dune's berry which I was very disappointed to discover years ago was
[6:36] not a comic strip adaptation of Dune the novel or in fact a delicious berry which
[6:41] when you ate it gave you the knowledge of the Dune series it is in fact a
[6:45] political comic strip following a ever-expanding cast of characters as they
[6:50] just live in these this modern America but Dan so it's a it's an amazing ride
[6:56] I hardly I highly advise you to take it and if you gentlemen have no objection I
[7:02] think it's time for another installment of my recurring segment if it ain't a
[7:07] bro call Dune fix it mm-hmm sure so I'm assuming you saw this in the movie there
[7:15] because you want the whole experience right I very much I did not see it well
[7:18] I did watch it both in the theater and at home to see if it was a full second
[7:24] stare screen experience the second screen was an iPad with Dune playing on
[7:28] it as I watched doing on my large television I call my iPad my small
[7:33] television and my regular television my large television I refer to movie
[7:37] screens as a big big television so I did see it first on the big big television
[7:42] first by myself secondly with my wife Lorraine Bracco and then third I saw it
[7:48] in 4d where your chair shakes when the spaceships are going up and down then I
[7:52] watched it at home on the small television and also the teeny tiny
[7:56] television is that what I called them before I don't remember but yes I've
[8:00] seen it a few times now in the past four or five screens what was your what was
[8:06] your what was your snack of choice well I wanted to say to myself what would
[8:11] they eat in the world of Dune so of course I had a tube going into my mouth
[8:15] that was attached to my own sweat glands so I couldn't recycle my my
[8:20] moisture like the Fremen on Arrakis would do and otherwise there's not a lot
[8:25] of food in Dune and so I mostly ate sand and worms just a big bowl of worms and
[8:32] sand I wouldn't recommend it now it's delicious okay cool just when one uses
[8:39] the spice as a as a drug rather than a means of interstellar travel do you eat
[8:45] that or is that a do you inhale it I I was unclear about that element of the
[8:51] grains of the spice are so small that you can it's more more trouble not to
[8:56] inhale them and that is why it suffuses the air of the planet and if you spend
[9:00] too much time on Arrakis you will become a spice addict who cannot live for long
[9:04] outside of the planet itself without a supply of spice
[9:12] yeah did either of you and I did I know this is a foolish question did either of
[9:18] you see the film of course knowing that it is a it was perhaps the defining
[9:23] cultural event of our generation I include you both in my generation
[9:27] although I am roughly 30 years older than you well I saw it yeah I saw it two
[9:34] days ago Stuart did you see it I have tickets to see it tomorrow but last
[9:38] night I played at Dune Imperium the board game version of the movie I played
[9:43] the role of Paul Atreides and I lost to the Harkonnens well spoiler alert that's
[9:49] not what happens in the story I apologize I will have many spoilers to
[9:55] talk about I'm sure but it's fun to be honest if you haven't read Dune by now
[9:59] are you
[10:00] even really human. Probably not. And so I have no compunction about spoiling a story
[10:04] you should have read. I also just looked myself up on Wikipedia and realized I am about 40
[10:08] years older than you, not 30 years. And still, I consider us all the same generation, generation
[10:13] Dune. Those of us who are here for the year 1 AD, that is after Dune, which all time will
[10:19] be considered from now on. Now, Daniel and Stuart, you did see the movie before playing
[10:24] the game or you did not?
[10:26] I have not seen the movie yet, although I did hear we did get some good news today.
[10:30] Dune 2, it's on the way.
[10:32] It was announced today that Dune Part 2 will be coming to theaters in the year 2023,
[10:40] and a very long time to wait to find the ending of the series. But you know, I feel like they
[10:47] made the right choice by splitting the film into two so that you could really spend a lot of time
[10:52] walking through the desert, just looking at how beige everything is.
[10:57] Tan, what were your thoughts about the film? I know what my thoughts are. What are yours?
[11:01] Well, you know, I've read the book once, the first book. It seemed to be a pretty
[11:08] faithful adaptation of the first half of the first book. I found it a little bloodless.
[11:15] It didn't bother you that there were no quotes from the Princess Arulin
[11:18] telling us about what about the future of Mod Dib?
[11:21] Oh, that's right. There are those little quotes that enter the thing.
[11:25] You can call them little quotes. I think they encompass a galaxy of wisdom.
[11:29] That's true. I forgot about that element.
[11:34] I thought it was a very, very beautiful movie. I liked Oscar Isaac and Rebecca Ferguson's
[11:40] performances. What? You love two great actors?
[11:43] Yeah, they are. I found it a little bit of a pretty. It's like looking at a very pretty
[11:53] diorama that I wasn't that engaged by narratively, but I enjoyed it quite a bit.
[12:00] I understand that. You have to keep in mind that inevitably any adaptation of Frank Herbert's work
[12:05] is akin to looking at the world through a keyhole. There's only so much they can provide of the
[12:10] macrocosm that exists within that beautiful tale.
[12:16] So at least you felt like you were enjoying the experience,
[12:19] even if it didn't enrapture you the way that, say, the book Dune might.
[12:25] I enjoyed the first two hours and then was kind of bored by the last 30 minutes.
[12:30] You weren't as much of a fan of the scenes where they were just walking through the sand?
[12:34] Yeah, those got a little samey.
[12:37] I have to admit that I had a few similar thoughts about it. I thought it was a
[12:43] very fine adaptation of the film there. I did not mind the walking through the sand,
[12:49] but at the same time, I did have to leave the theater very briefly during that sequence.
[12:55] Perhaps I was overcome by seeing this world brought to life before me. Perhaps I had had
[13:00] just too much Coca-Cola and had to eject the extra fluid from my bladder. That was, in fact,
[13:07] what happened. And I remember being angry at my own urine stream, at how long it was taking
[13:12] to leave my body and get me back into the theater. Perhaps if I had been wearing a stillsuit,
[13:17] I would have just let it flow, knowing it would come back to me as drinkable water
[13:22] and stayed in my seat watching the film. The strange thing is that I did not learn my lesson
[13:28] and had to leave to use the bathroom at the same exact point every time I watched the film.
[13:33] And I had it on my phone to watch that sequence while I was using the bathroom, and yet somehow
[13:41] I still managed to miss the scene. I suppose it was hard to hold my own manhood and hold the phone
[13:47] steady and watch the screen without causing quite a mess. And so there is a sequence when he was
[13:53] walking through the sand that I was not completely privy to. But keeping that in mind, I feel like I
[13:58] got the gist of the major narrative. Yeah, probably. I think you're safe. Yeah. Yeah. Now, you mentioned
[14:05] Oscar Isaac and Rebecca Ferguson. Did you have trouble? Did you not approve of the other performances
[14:11] in the film? I thought Timothee Chalamet acquitted himself quite fine, and Zendaya did what she
[14:18] could with a role that was essentially just her looking at the camera with her hair blowing around
[14:23] her. Yeah. The marketing of this has foregrounded Zendaya and that she's a wonderful,
[14:31] very charismatic actress and personality. I understand why they would do that. But yes,
[14:36] I can only assume that because her character doesn't come into the book until after what
[14:44] the movie covers, they're like, hmm, how can we shoehorn as much of this charismatic performer
[14:52] into our movie as possible? Let's just have a bunch of flash forwards of her sort of looking
[14:59] wistful in front of the satellite. Yeah. The amount of screen time she has as Chani, it was not enough
[15:04] yet to topple her as Michi in my particular understanding of Zendaya's career. Now, Stuart,
[15:11] when you were playing Dune Imperium, what was it that you felt lost you the game? How did you fail
[15:18] of all Atreides as he could very well fail if he takes the wrong path and makes the wrong decision?
[15:26] I had made a play in a battle and I thought I had won it, but I was betrayed by another player who
[15:38] won the battle but ended up losing both of us the game. So I guess I'd focus too much on military
[15:43] strength. It seems like you, in a way, lived the experience not of Paul, but of Duke Leto after
[15:51] having put his faith into his doctor, Dr. Wellington Yew, played by Chang Chen, only to be
[15:58] betrayed. Spoiler alert. But again, you should have read the book by now. You should know these
[16:03] things are happening. Or seen the other movie. Or seen the other movie, the one directed by Alan
[16:07] Smithy, a talented young director. I don't know what else he's done, but he did a fine job with
[16:13] the 1984 Dune. He did Burn Hollywood Burn, an Alan Smithy film. I'm not familiar with it. Is it like
[16:20] Dune? Well, they were both not successful. I would say that the Dune from 1984 is successful on its
[16:29] own terms, which is as a crazy kind of spaghetti mess of a movie. I mean, you know, I meant just,
[16:35] you know, in a larger sort of financial sense. Yes, yes, yes. I think part of the problem was
[16:41] in their understanding of the Dune series. It was very much in 1984 seen as a new kind of Star
[16:48] War, and it is very much not a Star War. Now, this movie, on the other hand, one of the few issues I
[16:54] had with it was that it could have used a little bit more of that kind of Star War joy. It's a very
[17:00] bleak movie and a very downbeat movie, very dour. And in fact, it would have seemed even more dour
[17:06] if my screening had not followed the trailer for the new Batman movie, which seems like a true
[17:11] descent into hell, a grim vision of a world in which no one exists but criminals and victims,
[17:17] and in which the supposed hero Batman is invulnerable and wades through bullet fire to
[17:22] smash men's heads against walls. Truly, it made my tummy hurt and made me wonder what was happening
[17:29] in the America I did so much to chronicle in my career, when this is the kind of escapist
[17:35] entertainment we're looking for, when the hero literally says, I'm vengeance, and then in the
[17:40] last scene, the last image is him walking towards a burning car in order to beat a man to a pulp.
[17:46] It seems like not the Batman I knew and fell in love with when Adam West played him. I don't
[17:52] remember any episodes of the old show where Adam West beat a man to a pulp or was shot point blank
[17:57] in the chest or told anyone that he was vengeance. Do you guys remember that?
[18:00] I don't. I just remember the one where he runs around with a bomb.
[18:06] That was hilarious.
[18:07] Well, that's the movie. That's a 1966 film.
[18:11] Well, it's the film adaptation of the show. I can only imagine that if the current Batman,
[18:16] played by Robert Pattinson, was faced with a similar bomb problem, he would take the bomb
[18:23] and slam it so hard into a Batman's head that the man's head would shatter.
[18:27] And then the bomb would, of course, explode, sending fragments into the bodies of several
[18:31] other people. Truly a horrible world that I cannot wait to not visit and not experience.
[18:37] But you know me, I'm kind of a geek and completist, so I may need to go see it
[18:42] and just wade through the bile and feces that is the new Batman movie.
[18:48] Certainly a river of sewage poured into multi-places nationwide.
[18:54] Dan, I believe that there is a promo for this episode. Perhaps it's time to throw to it now.
[18:59] Sure, right after a river of sewage. This episode of The Flophouse,
[19:04] nominally a podcast about bad movies, is sponsored by Smalls. Smalls, it's a food for cats.
[19:14] Give your feline friend protein-packed meals they'll crave with Smalls.
[19:19] And what makes Smalls special? Well, it's fresh, human-grade food for cats,
[19:24] delivered right to your doorstep. All cats are obligate carnivores. They need
[19:29] fresh, protein-packed meals. Conventional cat food is made using low-quality, cheap meat
[19:35] byproducts. Grains and starches coated in artificial flavors. Meat byproducts are good
[19:41] enough for you at the baseball game, but not good enough for your cat friend.
[19:47] With the help of cat nutrition at Smalls... Wait, are you taking the cat to the baseball game?
[19:53] I'm just making a comparison. Oh, I was going to say,
[19:56] because I would wonder then, would you have to buy a seat to place the cat?
[20:00] carrier on it, or are you putting it in your lap, or are you just holding the cat?
[20:05] Because if so, that is a very well-trained cat.
[20:07] Well, there's that cat that ran across the field at, what, Yankee Stadium this season,
[20:11] and that was the highlight of the game, so maybe you want to bring your own highlight
[20:17] to the game.
[20:18] Yeah.
[20:19] With the help of cat nutritionists, Smalls, which is what we're advertising, believe it
[20:23] or not, develops complete and balanced recipes for all life stages.
[20:28] Smalls recipes are gently cooked to lock in protein, vitamins, minerals, and moisture.
[20:36] Better quality ingredients mean a better, healthier life for your cat, since switching
[20:40] to Smalls, cats have experienced improved digestion and a less smelly litter box, softer
[20:47] and shinier coats, plus better breath.
[20:52] As a cat owner myself, I know that what a cat eats has a huge effect on health, breath,
[21:00] happiness, softness of fur, it's just, you know, why don't you make your cat happy?
[21:06] Take a short quiz on Smalls.com slash flop to customize your sampler and use code FLOP
[21:12] for a total of 30% off your first order.
[21:16] That's Smalls.com slash FLOP, code FLOP.
[21:21] I will say, I also am a fan, I take very good care of my three cats, Paul, Catrades, Dunkat
[21:28] Idaho, and of course Baron Harkitten, they're the loves of my life, I just take good care
[21:33] of them.
[21:34] My wife, Lorraine Bracco, sometimes jokes that I love the cats more than I love her, which
[21:39] is of course a joke, there's no one I love more than my wife, Lorraine Bracco, we call
[21:45] ourselves the Bracco-Brocas, or sometimes the Broca-Bracos.
[21:48] Do you call their litter box a rackus?
[21:50] I would, I feel like it would be a bit disrespectful to the planet itself, there's more than just
[21:56] a place for my cats to deposit their waste, but, you know, that's a funny idea, perhaps
[22:01] I'll bring it into my regular slang vocabulary during the day.
[22:06] Okay, let us know.
[22:09] Yeah, I will let you know, I'll keep you updated on that as I fold that term into my regular
[22:16] cat box discourse, perhaps I'll tell my wife, Lorraine Bracco, that I have to go and search
[22:24] a rackus for Paul Catrades, she'll know of course that I'm not really looking for the
[22:28] cat but for, of course, his waste.
[22:31] Sandworms.
[22:32] Well, hello, I'm Renee Colvert, hi, I'm Alexis Preston, and we are the hosts of Can I Pet
[22:41] Your Dog, and we got breaking news, we got an expose, all the beans have been spilled
[22:45] via an Apple podcast review that said this show isn't well researched, well, yeah, no
[22:52] duh, of course it's not, not since the day we started has it been well researched, guessing
[22:56] and anthropomorphizing dogs is what we do, the Can I Pet Your Dog promise is that we
[23:02] will never do more than 10 seconds of research before telling you excitedly about any dog
[23:06] we see, I'm gonna come at you with top 10 enthusiasm, minimal facts, we're here for
[23:11] a good time, not an educated time, so if you love dogs and you don't love research,
[23:15] well, you know what, come on in to Can I Pet Your Dog podcast every Tuesday on Maximum
[23:20] Fun Network.
[23:22] Bria, what's your reader wheelhouse?
[23:25] A woman on a journey, space, post-apocalyptic roads, and magical food.
[23:30] Mallory, what's your reader wheelhouse?
[23:32] Werewolves, haunted houses, weird fiction, and books set in Florida for some reason.
[23:40] We're Reading Glasses and we want to know what your reader wheelhouse is.
[23:43] We can use it to help you find more books that you love and avoid books that you don't.
[23:48] So whatever you like to read about and however you like to read it, we want to help you read
[23:53] better.
[23:54] Reading Glasses, every Thursday on Maximum Fun.
[24:01] I enjoyed the film, but as I have to say, as I spent time away from it, I did find things
[24:07] about it not totally sitting right for me, and the main thing is somewhat the bleakness
[24:11] of it and the beigeness of it.
[24:13] It is a very overwhelmingly beige film, and there's a certain richness and filigree quality
[24:19] to the ceremony and culture of the books, which is not, I think, fully reflected in
[24:24] the very brutalist architecture and kind of muted costuming of the film.
[24:29] One thing that really struck me was that the Atreides house, it's very clear, is not right
[24:36] for Dune.
[24:38] They are not ready for the challenge of Arrakis, and they will be overwhelmed by it.
[24:41] And yet when they arrive, they're already wearing what I would call dune tones rather
[24:45] than the earth tones, the greens and so forth.
[24:48] You would expect from a forested planet like Caledon.
[24:51] And I kind of wish that the Atreides, House Atreides legions had been dressed in armor
[24:56] that was not fittingly colored for Arrakis as a way to show how out of place they were.
[25:02] That's just an idea that Denis Villeneuve can borrow from me for Dune Part 2, or if
[25:06] he would like to do a Dune Part 1 special edition in which he uses CGI to change the
[25:12] colors of the uniforms, much as George Lucas has done in his Star War films.
[25:18] But of course, my largest problem with it is, as I mentioned when I talked about the
[25:24] trailer of the film, my previous If It Ain't Broca Dune Fix It segment was the absence
[25:31] of Feyd-Rotha.
[25:33] Where is Feyd-Rotha Raban, the other evil nephew of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen, who again,
[25:39] as we mentioned, is played by Sting in the other film, and has a memorable climactic
[25:44] duel with Paul Atreides?
[25:45] Now, I understand from a screenwriting point of view, it makes sense to give your villain
[25:50] one evil nephew rather than two evil nephews.
[25:53] And the idea of Dave Bautista playing Feyd-Rotha, he is laughably large to play that part.
[26:00] He can only play the Beast.
[26:02] I assume they've collapsed those characters just into this one nephew of the Beast, Raban,
[26:06] and that he will have the climactic fight with Paul Atreides.
[26:10] And if you fellows disagree with me, I'm willing to put a little bit of money on it, and we'll
[26:16] see who actually is right about whether there will be a climactic Paul Atreides-Dave Bautista
[26:23] fight in Dune Part 2.
[26:24] So what's the action you guys are willing to give me on this?
[26:29] I should mention that I have a Dune-based gambling addiction.
[26:33] I've been willing to gamble on what is going to happen in the books, which is strange because
[26:37] I've read them all and know what's going to happen.
[26:40] But I will oftentimes bet my wife that they will have changed since the last time I read
[26:44] them.
[26:45] So alive do I find the story, and I am always wrong and I always lose.
[26:49] Luckily, we share a bank account, so I don't actually lose the money.
[26:53] But I do lose a certain amount of face, and thus my masculinity comes into question.
[26:57] So what odds are you willing to give me on this very good bet?
[27:01] I don't know that I...
[27:03] I'm sorry, I can't take that action.
[27:04] Although I do appreciate the idea.
[27:07] I think it would be very funny to see a movie in which Timothee Chalamet fights Dave Bautista.
[27:14] Not funny?
[27:15] I think it's going to happen, Daniel.
[27:16] I mean, whether or not it happens has no bearing on whether I find it a humorous idea.
[27:25] Would you like to bet me otherwise?
[27:27] Yeah, it appears Tom has access to the Benny Jesserit sisterhood.
[27:32] If only, if only I did, although they are quite frightening in real life, as we saw
[27:36] from Charlotte Rampling's performance as the Supreme Mother, the Reverend Mother.
[27:44] Now I imagine it would not be that different from the big fight I assume ends the movie
[27:48] Stuber between Dave Bautista and Kumail Nanjiani, which I have not again seen the film, but
[27:53] I assume they have a fight to the death.
[27:56] They're on the same side.
[28:00] The commercials and posters made it seem like Kumail was very afraid of Mr.
[28:04] Bautista. And I can only assume it's a movie like Collateral in which Tom Cruise and Jamie
[28:09] Foxx were very much not on the same side, but on very different sides.
[28:13] I don't know. They seem like they were doing pretty well, but I had to stop at about two
[28:17] thirds of the way through.
[28:19] Did you also have to use the bathroom?
[28:20] Was that the reason?
[28:21] I did. And that's why I stopped the movie entirely is because I'm like, I had to go
[28:25] home. I had to take a shower after going to the bathroom, even though it's just a number
[28:29] one. I had to wash everything.
[28:31] Is that usually your routine?
[28:33] It seems like a real inconvenience.
[28:36] Well, I also suffered a fair amount of splash damage, if you know what I mean.
[28:40] Damage?
[28:42] Do you have acid pee, like some kind of xenomorph urine?
[28:47] I think a personal question.
[28:48] Next, next one.
[28:50] You guys got any more questions about my pee?
[28:51] That is a very personal question.
[28:53] I'd like to depersonalize it by asking, do you think the xenomorph has acid pee?
[28:58] It would only make sense.
[29:00] But it's drool is not acidic, is it?
[29:02] I think just its blood.
[29:03] If it was peeing blood, I would advise the xenomorph to see a urologist immediately.
[29:08] Well, and you would also think that it would become a much more popular figure to be
[29:12] peeing on car logos than Calvin, because it's pee would disintegrate those logos.
[29:17] Yeah, sure.
[29:19] Maybe the problem is that you can't draw that because the artist is like, oh, this
[29:24] logo would be gone by now.
[29:26] You know, I mean, yeah, but like the thing is, it's not like a person pees forever.
[29:32] It's not like they're like capturing a moment that will stand forever.
[29:36] I mean, it's a snapshot at the very moment that the urine stream arcs up and is just
[29:42] beginning to touch.
[29:43] I mean, it seems like that is the way pictures work, Daniel, is they they can take
[29:47] any moment in an event.
[29:49] It doesn't just have to be the last one.
[29:52] Yeah, the portrait is like, oh, it's why there's such a thing as pictures of ice
[29:58] and not just pictures of.
[30:00] puddles of water, and yes to it, as why every portrait is not of a corpse,
[30:04] decayed just to bones.
[30:09] I find it fascinating, Daniel, that at this point in your life you still have not
[30:13] fully grasped the mechanics of how time works in still imagery.
[30:18] Now, can we talk about one thing that, like, I...
[30:21] It's your podcast. Well, thank you.
[30:24] One thing that bothers me about you, like,
[30:28] as the
[30:30] Dune books go on, again, I've only read the first, but it's my understanding that
[30:33] they're very much
[30:35] uh... sort of a questioning of the
[30:39] white messiah, kind of colonizer messiah, uh...
[30:44] the... what's the word I'm looking for, the... Savior?
[30:48] Savior, yeah, sure, that sort of thing.
[30:52] The sort of Lawrence of Arabia, Tarzan type thing, where, I mean, Tarzan being, I shouldn't
[30:57] equate the two, but where a white person becomes part of another
[31:02] culture and ultimately conquers it and becomes the best one of it?
[31:05] Yes, yeah.
[31:07] And saves it from some other thing or another? Last samurai, or...
[31:12] Yeah, your last samurais, your, uh...
[31:14] uh...
[31:15] what are some other ones? I'm forgetting some other ones, I'm sure there are
[31:18] very many. Your John Carter's... Uh, Dancing with Wolves is kind of that, I guess.
[31:22] Yeah, sure, you're dancing with the wolves, yeah, of course, yeah.
[31:27] You know, but in the context of just the first book, which turns, you know, like, foreboding at the end,
[31:34] but is still kind of a triumphant book, and certainly in the context of just this first part of the movie,
[31:43] it's just kind of a weird thing that the film, I don't know, has, like, laid the track to make me know
[31:51] where it's going with it, like, the problem with it as a story that is, like, incomplete,
[31:57] you know, like, there's some weirdness with that, especially when, I don't know, they're like, okay,
[32:02] you got the white colonizers and sort of the, you know, Arabic-coded Fremen,
[32:11] but then you've got, like, the Harkonnens, who have the racial problem that a lot of science fiction
[32:18] seems to have, where there's just, like, one race that's just gross, like, or one family that's just, like,
[32:25] we're a bunch of, like, really bald, like, pale, like, blob men, I don't know,
[32:34] and there's nothing wrong with being bald, but I'm saying the way that it's made up.
[32:38] You certainly said it in a pejorative way.
[32:40] That's true.
[32:41] I believe my friend J.K. Simmons would be very unhappy with you.
[32:45] Thank you, yeah.
[32:46] But do you know what I'm trying to get at?
[32:48] Not to mention my other friend, Howie Mandel.
[32:51] The nights that me and my friends J.K. and Howie drive around in the dune buggy, that's what I call my car,
[32:57] and just whoop up the town, they're also big dune heads.
[33:01] I apologize.
[33:03] They're very valuable to me, and I don't appreciate their baldness being used as a pejorative.
[33:08] No, no, no, I didn't. I'm saying that I think the movie uses it as a pejorative.
[33:12] I apologize in general.
[33:14] I was telling my friend Elliot, who was here before you came, that I'm very tired right now,
[33:18] so I don't think I'm being as articulate as I could be, but do you understand what I'm trying to get at?
[33:23] I understand not everyone can be as articulate as I am.
[33:26] So I think pronunciation being one of my finest characteristics.
[33:31] Now, Daniel, I think what you're asking for is partly that you want the answers that Part 2 will provide,
[33:39] but you're not going to get them until Part 2.
[33:41] No, it's true.
[33:42] Part of the brilliance to me of Dune is that it takes this same sort of Lawrence of Arabia, white savior story
[33:49] and turns it somewhat on its head by showing that the main character understands that by doing this
[33:55] he is only going to inevitably make the situation worse, and he thinks through his willpower,
[34:00] perhaps he can change that and lead things to a different path, but no, it's impossible.
[34:06] Much like in the story of Oedipus Rex, there is one destined path, and though each of the characters tries to avoid it,
[34:14] all roads lead to him doing his mom, even though every character has tried to not let that happen,
[34:21] and that ultimately trying not to make it happen has only led it to happen.
[34:26] Dune is somewhat like that, and I feel like if there is another flaw with the film,
[34:30] I feel like it does not fully communicate clearly that Paul Atreides sees ahead of him a future of almost apocalyptic violence
[34:40] and makes the choice to follow that future assuming he can change it, but instead locking his destiny in place.
[34:47] One small problem I had was that when they showed his vision of his hordes decimating whole cultures,
[34:53] that was represented by roughly a bunch of dudes fighting in the desert and the burning of a small pile of bodies
[34:59] when every time I imagine it while reading the book, I'm imagining thousands, if not millions, of burning piles of corpses
[35:06] as they lay waste to other civilizations, attempting to force them to worship the Mahdib Kusatardak.
[35:13] But I think what you're looking at is that part one is, hopefully, the setup that creates our expectations,
[35:21] and then part two will be the payoff that subverts those expectations by making us question that narrative.
[35:28] It's a bit like judging a joke from the punchline.
[35:31] If I said to you, a man walks into a bar, and he says, that's a can't-judge-the-joke-off-of-that.
[35:38] I haven't told you the thing that comes after it.
[35:40] Of course, the punchline being, ouch.
[35:43] The punchline is ouch, because he walked into a different kind of bar than you thought he walked into.
[35:49] Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[35:52] No, no, no. I think that that's true, and I do think that the problem is it's just hard to give the foreshadowing that's necessary
[36:02] of visions inside his head and make it clear.
[36:07] It's a complex idea for the film to try and communicate.
[36:10] It is very complex, perhaps better described in prose, or maybe they could have just had a character more clearly say it.
[36:17] It's sometimes difficult to know when it's better to have what's called an exposition dump or info dump or ID,
[36:26] meaning info dump, not Independence Day, which of course is ID4, the hit film,
[36:31] which did not have the plot complexity of Dune, but did have Brent Spiner in it, so you've got to give it some credit for that.
[36:38] So perhaps it's hard to know when to say it in images and when to say it in words,
[36:45] especially since, as Dan has made clear, images can only show the very end of a thing
[36:49] and cannot show the intermediate steps or even the beginning.
[36:53] Yeah, that's why they're so useful for fortune telling.
[36:57] Yeah. Oh, yes, very much.
[36:59] That's why the story, the portrait of Dorian Gray, is not considered supernatural or even interesting
[37:04] because all portraits show the horrible ending of the person who has fainted.
[37:09] Yeah, it's a slice of life.
[37:11] It was a very controversial book when it came out because people said, yeah, we know this.
[37:15] Why did you bother to write a whole book about it?
[37:17] I don't know how I got here, but I love it.
[37:22] Hey, Oscar Wilde, here's what's truly wild that you thought we needed to be told how portraits work.
[37:27] You burned them. You really got them.
[37:29] Should be Oscar Mild, right?
[37:31] Talk about Oscar Mild, yes, indeed.
[37:33] Did you guys – here, this is a little off topic, but when you saw the movie Something Wild,
[37:38] did you expect to see Oscar Mild in the film? Because I did.
[37:42] I guess I forgot that his name is spelled differently.
[37:45] Yeah, that's your mistake. There's a terminal E on Mild.
[37:50] It is the same issue I have every time I watch Wild America,
[37:53] thinking I'm going to see Oscar Mild's adventures in America, which he had,
[37:57] but instead it's just a nature documentary.
[37:59] What about Wild Things? Did you have the same issue?
[38:02] You would have loved it.
[38:03] Guys, I think we can all agree that Oscar Mild would have loved Wild Things.
[38:07] Oscar Mild would have found its air of sluggish decadence and lugubrious, let's call it, scandal.
[38:15] He would have found it really up his alley.
[38:17] Oscar Mild would have given it, I think, four velvet stars.
[38:21] In fact, I feel like I want to tell the producers of the film Wild Things,
[38:27] just go ahead and put a blurb from Oscar Mild on the box.
[38:30] You know he would have loved it.
[38:33] Now, I think to finish off my thoughts about doing part one of the film,
[38:37] I think that I was heartened by it.
[38:40] It felt like a nice, straightforward adaption of the story.
[38:44] It did not reach the same heights of transcendence that I find in the book,
[38:48] but then what does? I'm sure if they made a movie of the Bible,
[38:51] which they've never done, but maybe someday,
[38:54] I'm sure it would not reach the same heights of religious importance for people.
[38:58] Otherwise, they'd stop printing Bibles and they'd just show people that movie,
[39:02] which would be inconvenient when formats changed and you'd have to get a whole new one
[39:06] when you bought a DVD player or a laser disc or whatever.
[39:09] But I feel like there's promise in there for doing part two,
[39:13] and I just hope that the second part has a little bit more of the feeling of life
[39:19] that Frank Herbert brings to Arrakis.
[39:21] I would love to see if in the second part,
[39:23] as Paul learns more about life on Arrakis and surviving there,
[39:26] if the planet itself looked less beige and dead and took on more of a vibrancy.
[39:31] It's just another idea I'm throwing out there for Danny Boon to take.
[39:34] Go for it. I will not sue you if you use it. That is fine with me.
[39:38] But for If It Ain't Brokaw, Dune Fix It,
[39:41] I've been America's favorite newsman, Thomas J. Brokaw.
[39:45] The J stands for Just Readin' Dune.
[39:48] Well, thank you for that.
[39:52] I think Elliot originally started this mini,
[39:57] so I'm going to let him.
[40:00] Finish it. Let's uh, I just want to say before we do that. This is one of those episodes that makes me
[40:06] delighted and mystified that people
[40:09] Listen to the show and seem to enjoy
[40:13] Hey guys, I'm back Tom Brokaw just let me out of the bathroom. He locked me in. I don't know
[40:17] I assume I don't know what he was talking about. I assume probably a chair or whatever
[40:21] Yeah, he had put a chair up there and then he said and then he said see you sucker and just walked out
[40:25] Um, I guess we're running we're running out of time. So I'm gonna have to talk about Adam Warlock at some future episode
[40:33] Do you think they cast that kid because his eyebrows look like Adam Warlock's eyebrows?
[40:37] I have to assume that's what it was. You got a cast eyebrow
[40:40] like
[40:41] Like kind of pointy on the sides. Oh, I mean you can't do that with makeup effects. That's like
[40:48] I was listening to interview with Rick Baker. We sing out eyebrows are still the Achilles heel of any makeup artists
[40:53] So when you want to have a character with crazy eyebrows, you gotta go out and get a crazy eyebrow person, you know
[40:58] Or train two caterpillars
[41:01] That's if you laugh, but that's the easiest solution for a Peter Gallagher. Yeah
[41:06] Well this well the funny Peter Gallagher
[41:09] The funny thing is that he was he was trying a new skin treatment where you put glue on your face and two caterpillars crawled
[41:14] On while he was sleeping
[41:23] What a charming idea
[41:25] well, it makes I think it we should leave on that on that delightful note of Peter Peter Gallagher with a caterpillars on his
[41:33] eyes on his face
[41:35] I'll come back next time. I guess to explain Adam Warlock to everybody. I do hope to do that
[41:40] I can't wait to listen this episode and find out what you guys were talking about Tom Brokaw
[41:43] I imagine it was pretty straightforward and and made a lot of sense
[41:47] But for the Flophouse, I've been Elliot Kalin I've been Dan McCoy and I'm still
[41:54] Stuart Wellington
[41:56] Bye
[42:03] Maximum fun org comedy and culture artists owned audience supported

Description

Elliott talks to us about Adam Warlock.

Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop