FH Mini 44 - FlopTails, Part 2, with Zhubin Parang

[0:00] Life reminds me of a storm here in the doghouse.

S1

[0:13] Make a move when it's your turn.

[0:15] Get some chili, take buttercup out.

[0:18] But don't disrupt the day's events.

[0:21] Don't ruin the wedding plans.

[0:24] Terror, danger, certain death.

[0:26] Are sure to face you on your quest.

[0:29] But don't worry, the hog's bottom three.

[0:32] I'm here to get a bowl of chili.

[0:34] Flop Tens.

[0:38] Everybody's favorite crew in Flop Tens.

[0:42] Protect cutie pie and talk to Stu.

Dan McCoy

[0:46] D-D-D-Den is Lucky Bone Watcher.

[0:49] Elliot is You Knowin' I'm Playing Scraps.

S1

[0:52] Superdiss Dancer Silverfur.

[0:53] And me, your boy Stu.

[0:58] Hey!

Stuart Wellington

[1:27] Welcome to another episode of Flop Tales.

[1:31] This is part two of our actual play tabletop role-playing game podcast.

[1:36] If this is your first encounter with our podcast, you should not listen to this.

[1:41] Listen to a different episode.

[1:42] And if you want to get the first part of this story, go back to part one, which was from two

[1:47] weeks ago.

[1:48] Now, normally here on the Flop House, we watch a bad movie and talk about it.

[1:51] But tonight, we are going to be playing a role-playing game that's part of our extended Flop Tales universe.

[1:58] I am going to be your game master tonight.

[2:00] My name is Stuart Wellington.

[2:01] And joining me is...

Dan McCoy

[2:02] I'm Dan McCoy.

[2:05] We recorded these back-to-back, so I'm still sick.

[2:08] Uh-huh.

[2:09] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[2:10] Still not sick.

Elliott Kalan

[2:12] Who knows?

[2:12] Maybe I've died between these episodes being released.

[2:14] We don't know.

[2:15] You never know.

[2:15] We're recording them in the same week, but hopefully not.

[2:17] Oh, same night, but hopefully not.

Zhubin Parang

[2:19] And I'm Jubin Parang.

[2:20] I...

[2:21] My part was recorded two weeks apart.

[2:23] Wow.

[2:24] Yeah, and then...

Elliott Kalan

[2:25] He just anticipated what we were going to say and do.

[2:27] Yeah.

[2:27] And it was intricately stitched into the previous recording, somewhat magically, in a Forrest

[2:33] Gump-type style.

[2:34] Because you know Tom Hanks wasn't really at those places, right?

Zhubin Parang

[2:36] What?

[2:37] No, come on.

Elliott Kalan

[2:38] Like, he didn't...

[2:39] They didn't bring John F. Kennedy back to life for the movie.

Zhubin Parang

[2:42] I...

[2:43] My understanding was it was like boyhood, where they just took...

[2:45] That long of a time to do it.

Dan McCoy

[2:47] Yeah, it took them 30 years, at least, to make the movie.

[2:49] Yeah, because they...

[2:50] And they just had Tom Hanks hang out at places where they thought maybe something significant

[2:55] might happen in history.

[2:56] Well, I mean, the White House knew something...

[2:57] They nailed it.

Elliott Kalan

[2:58] Something historical is going to happen at the White House.

[2:59] Yeah, yeah.

[3:00] You know, that's going to...

[3:00] Yeah, for sure.

Stuart Wellington

[3:01] They also chopped off Gary Sinise's legs, right?

[3:04] So that the movie would be cool.

[3:07] Well, that's just how Gary Sinise does things.

[3:10] Yeah, they gave him back new legs.

Elliott Kalan

[3:11] The same way that Tom Cruise does all his own stunts, Gary Sinise loses all his own legs.

[3:15] Yeah, for his movies.

Zhubin Parang

[3:16] You also only see those parts where Tom Hanks was at that actually ended up being historically

[3:21] relevant.

[3:21] You don't see like the five years he spent in Bavaria hoping for something to happen.

[3:26] Nothing actually did.

Elliott Kalan

[3:27] Yeah, he did spend a lot of time in Topeka thinking that something was going to happen in Topeka and

[3:33] went through a number of jobs.

[3:35] Yeah.

[3:35] It really hit hard times because he kept...

[3:37] He kept...

[3:37] ...during that period, you know?

Dan McCoy

[3:38] He would keep muttering to himself, it's always the places you least expect, you know, right

[3:44] in the middle of the town.

Elliott Kalan

[3:45] It's like it would be much more dramatic if something happened here than in, say, New York,

[3:49] where dramatic things happen all the time.

[3:51] Oh boy.

[3:52] Well, I guess I'll just stay here for a little bit longer.

[3:55] How did we get here?

Stuart Wellington

[3:58] Well, we got here because we just started riffing and bullshitting.

[4:01] Oh yeah.

[4:01] This is what we do here on this comedy podcast.

[4:03] But tonight we're going to be playing our role-playing game and just a quick catch up.

[4:07] Last week or two weeks ago, you were tasked with getting some of the farmer's prize winning

[4:14] chili on the day of his daughter's wedding.

[4:17] And it is going okay so far.

[4:21] You have all managed to make it into the farmhouse and you have managed to keep Cutie Pie, the

[4:25] adorable but danger-prone kitten alive, despite yourselves.

[4:30] The amount of heat is currently three.

[4:32] If it ever gets to ten, you have ruined the wedding and everyone will be disappointed.

[4:40] Let's get back to the game.

Elliott Kalan

[4:41] Are they not going to get married if the heat number gets to ten?

Stuart Wellington

[4:45] You know, I don't want to say never.

[4:47] Yeah.

[4:48] But certainly not this day.

[4:48] It might not happen today, you know.

[4:50] It might not happen today.

[4:51] We'll find out.

Zhubin Parang

[4:51] I mean, she's already probably having cold feet, so I don't think this is going to be

[4:55] going to take this as a sign.

[4:56] It's probably what's going to happen.

[4:57] Well, then we should turn up the heat.

[4:58] Exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[4:58] Warm up those feet.

[4:59] Get her more excited about the wedding, you know.

[5:01] Get those feet less cold.

Zhubin Parang

[5:02] I don't know if heat means that.

[5:04] I feel like it's more.

Stuart Wellington

[5:04] I mean, that's where the phrase came from, right?

[5:07] Is that people that were going to get married, their feet got so cold that they couldn't

[5:10] actually walk down the aisle.

[5:12] Exactly.

[5:12] Yeah.

[5:13] I think so.

[5:13] Because they had frostbite.

[5:14] Their feet were just.

[5:14] They shattered like Terminator style.

Elliott Kalan

[5:16] Just like happened to Gary Sinise behind the scenes of Forrest Gump and they had to

[5:18] write it into the film.

[5:20] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[5:21] Great.

[5:22] He got cold feet to do the movie.

[5:23] Just would not take his foot off the air conditioning then.

[5:25] It was awful.

Elliott Kalan

[5:26] They kept saying, Gary, don't do that.

[5:28] And he said, I like it.

[5:29] I like my feet being cooled.

[5:31] They get sweaty otherwise.

Zhubin Parang

[5:34] Okay.

[5:34] So.

[5:35] You know what I just thought of?

[5:36] Is it possible to ask the farmer?

[5:38] We should just ask the farmer Forrest Gump.

[5:40] No, we don't.

[5:40] They can't refuse a request on their daughter's wedding day.

Elliott Kalan

[5:42] Yes.

[5:43] If we could speak English.

[5:44] I mean, one, he's not the godfather.

[5:46] He's a farmer.

[5:47] And two, we speak.

Zhubin Parang

[5:48] My dog comprehension is limited to when I see movies.

Elliott Kalan

[5:52] You're like, I'm a dog.

[5:54] I only understand what I see in classic films.

Dan McCoy

[5:58] I'm a dog with a real love for new Hollywood.

[6:00] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[6:01] What if we run to the wedding and bang on the window and then escape with the bride in a bus?

[6:06] Would we get chili then?

[6:08] Would she give us some chili?

[6:10] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[6:15] So, two of you lucky and scraps.

[6:18] You are in the kitchen with cutie pie and you have just made a mess of the plates.

[6:22] What's the plan?

[6:23] What are you doing?

[6:24] Are you going to hastily sweep them up and make doe eyes?

[6:28] Are you going to continue attempting to hide?

[6:32] Yeah.

[6:32] I think that covers well.

[6:33] Are you going to cause a different distraction?

Elliott Kalan

[6:35] I mean, do we feel like that people in the kitchen have seen us with the plates or they just know plates have fallen down?

Stuart Wellington

[6:41] The people are coming over to check on the plates.

[6:45] If you don't do something quickly, you will be spotted.

Elliott Kalan

[6:48] Okay.

[6:49] Now, one of my traits is distract.

[6:51] I could distract them.

[6:52] I don't know what I would be distracting them for.

[6:55] I don't know exactly how it would.

[6:57] Is there anything lucky that you can do that would get us closer to chili while I distract them?

Dan McCoy

[7:03] I mean, my skills are being curious, unaffected, and strange coincidence.

[7:08] So, I don't think any particular skill would apply in this case.

[7:15] Maybe we could, I don't know.

[7:17] What do dogs do?

[7:18] The frisbees?

[7:19] We could throw the plates around like frisbees.

Elliott Kalan

[7:21] I mean, that doesn't seem like it would necessarily lower the heat level.

[7:24] But, I mean, or I could use can't stay mad at you again, which I used last time to assuage some workers after their horse almost killed Cutie Pie.

Stuart Wellington

[7:33] And just a reminder, Cutie Pie is in the kitchen with you.

[7:36] And also Tabitha, the angry old mean cat who wants to kill Cutie Pie, is also in the kitchen.

Elliott Kalan

[7:42] Now, if we could somehow blame Tabitha for this.

[7:45] Yes.

[7:45] Would that lower the heat level on us?

Stuart Wellington

[7:48] Yeah.

[7:49] You would just have to explain how you would successfully do that.

Dan McCoy

[7:53] No, that was my immediate thought too, Elliot.

[7:55] I mean, if we all like find, if we all hide effectively, and Tabitha is the only animal on view, it seems like.

Stuart Wellington

[8:04] But you would need to trick Tabitha into revealing herself.

Zhubin Parang

[8:07] Let me suggest to you guys that one of you runs over to Tabitha.

[8:12] And I know there's going to be a dice roll, but if you can hurl her into the chili, that will solve two problems at once.

Elliott Kalan

[8:19] I mean, the thing is, I mean, I guess a dog would want to eat chili that a cat was in.

[8:22] I was going to say, I don't want to eat chili that's full of cat, but, or supposedly cat hair.

[8:26] Cat meat, I probably find.

[8:28] I mean, here's, I mean, could I, do you think I could get away with throwing, doing a cat sound and throwing my voice as distract so that they would, they would look in the direction of Tabitha rather than in the direction of us?

[8:40] Yeah.

[8:40] I mean, you're a cartoon dog.

Stuart Wellington

[8:42] You can do all kinds of shit.

[8:43] Yeah.

[8:43] Okay.

[8:44] That seems fair.

[8:45] Oh, I keep forgetting about the cartoon thing about this.

[8:47] Yeah.

[8:47] Let's try.

Elliott Kalan

[8:48] So I'm going to use distract.

[8:49] That's a, that's, and I'm going to do that.

[8:51] Distract, I'm going to throw my voice and do a meow, meow sound so that it sounds like it's coming from Tabitha.

[8:57] So people see her next to the plates and not us.

[9:00] Well, and while they're looking at her, we can kind of tiptoe away back towards the chili.

[9:03] Okay.

[9:04] I have two good.

Stuart Wellington

[9:05] You have a, you have a, you have an ear for impressions.

[9:08] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[9:08] Well, that's the thing with scraps.

[9:09] As a lovable mutt, I'm always observing and I'm always doing my routines.

[9:12] You know, I do, I do a Jack Nicholson if he were a dog.

[9:16] Oh man.

[9:16] You know, like, um, don't do that now.

Stuart Wellington

[9:18] Save it for later.

Elliott Kalan

[9:20] Bark, bark.

[9:21] Like that sounds like, yeah.

[9:23] And like.

Stuart Wellington

[9:23] Oh wow, my Laker game.

[9:25] What's up?

Elliott Kalan

[9:26] I don't know if you guys haven't heard my, uh, my, uh, Jimmy Stewart if he was a dog.

[9:31] That's another one that I do.

[9:32] Uh, but anyway, uh, and of course, uh, who's a hot star now that people like, uh, that has a distinctive voice.

[9:38] There aren't any, I don't think.

[9:40] Um, so, uh, so I'll do, I think I'm going to.

[9:43] Christopher Walton.

[9:43] Yeah, you're Adam Drivers.

S1

[9:44] You're, you're.

Elliott Kalan

[9:45] Oh, actually Adam Driver would be like.

[9:46] Camille Donjiani.

[9:47] Adam Driver would be like this.

[9:48] Bark.

[9:49] Bark.

[9:50] Like kind of like an angry, you know, he does, he does bark when he talks.

[9:54] Um, anyway, uh, wait, who was the other person you mentioned after Adam Driver?

Zhubin Parang

[9:57] I was going to say Camille Donjiani, but I'm, I'm very, I very much like to hear Scraps do that impression.

Elliott Kalan

[10:01] I mean, Camille Donjiani has, I mean, it's mostly an eyebrow, so you can't hear it.

[10:05] You just got to see it.

[10:06] But I live my eyebrow in the, in the Donjiani style.

[10:08] Um, okay.

[10:10] So I'm going to roll for distract.

[10:12] Throwing my, throwing my voice, but making a meow sound.

[10:15] Uh, what do you think?

[10:16] Should I use one of my good boy points for this?

[10:18] I've got them.

[10:18] They're just lying around.

Zhubin Parang

[10:19] I think you should.

[10:21] Yes.

[10:21] Yeah.

[10:22] You've got two, you've got two, right?

[10:23] Use one.

[10:23] Okay.

Zhubin Parang

[10:23] Yeah.

[10:24] Cause it's already 46.

[10:25] This is a high skill.

[10:26] Now this is 5D6.

[10:27] Wow.

[10:27] So let's see.

[10:28] Right.

[10:28] That's solid 50%.

Elliott Kalan

[10:29] That's not, I don't think that's, I mean, you show a dog's understanding of, of, of,

[10:34] of, uh, chance and, um, what's the word?

[10:38] Probability.

[10:38] Okay.

[10:39] Yeah.

[10:40] I just don't know what I just said.

[10:40] Okay.

[10:40] I got two sixes in this one.

[10:42] Wow.

[10:43] So what happens?

[10:44] What do you do?

[10:45] Okay.

[10:45] So I literally throwing my voice.

[10:48] I go out of the corner of my mouth.

[10:49] I go, meow, meow, meow.

[10:52] And my voice leaps, the sound leaps from my mouth over to above, uh, Tabitha, almost like

[10:59] a, like a cartoon loudspeaker appears above her going, meow, meow, meow.

[11:03] And everybody in the room turns and looks at Tabitha who is, you know, right on top of

[11:09] the counter.

[11:09] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[11:09] She's like perched on top of a, on a cabinet right now.

Elliott Kalan

[11:11] Yeah.

[11:12] And, uh, and, uh, and right, right where she would be in the perfect place to knock those

[11:15] plates over.

[11:16] And they, and they, and they all get mad at her and, uh, me and lucky and cutie pie, we

[11:21] all tiptoe away and you hear the ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, as our, as our toes,

[11:26] because we're literally on our toes tiptoeing away.

[11:27] And, uh, they, I either, they either pick Tabitha up and kick her out of the place, like, or

[11:34] they, with a broom, just go sweep and sweep her off the cabinet.

[11:37] She's flying out the window.

Stuart Wellington

[11:38] Yeah.

[11:39] Nanny McAllister, that's farmer McAllister's wife, uh, picks her up and holds her one armed

[11:45] out the window and drops her.

[11:47] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[11:48] Into the waiting open mouth of captain.

[11:50] I can only assume.

[11:51] Yeah.

[11:52] No, probably not.

[11:52] Not yet.

[11:53] No.

Stuart Wellington

[11:53] Oh, you, you won't deal with her that well.

[11:55] Okay.

[11:55] So you, you have reduced the heat.

[11:57] You are down to two heat.

[11:59] The wet, the wet, things are looking good.

[12:01] Oh, great.

Elliott Kalan

[12:01] She falls on the ground and, uh, I just say Tabitha falls on the ground and she holds up

[12:05] a sign that says, how rude.

[12:06] And yeah.

Dan McCoy

[12:07] Sounds perfect.

[12:08] Yeah.

[12:08] And then she gets served papers by the creators of Full House.

Elliott Kalan

[12:13] I mean, you can't, you can't trademark, like, just dialogue.

[12:16] They can try.

[12:17] They can try, yeah.

[12:18] I mean, I guess Disney did, I mean, she's, Disney did try to trademark Cinco de Mayo.

Zhubin Parang

[12:23] She's being served papers by the housebroken cast simultaneously, right?

[12:27] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[12:27] I mean, you can copyright a, you can copyright a character.

[12:31] Oh, you know, I said that Disney tried to, tried to trademark Cinco de Mayo.

[12:34] I think they tried to trademark Day of the Dead.

[12:35] That's what it was.

[12:36] And also Seal Team Six, they tried to trademark, which seems bonkers.

[12:41] I mean, as bonkers as it is to try to, try to trademark a holiday from up front, like,

[12:45] that has been celebrated for a long time.

[12:47] To trademark an in the news covert ops organization.

[12:52] Anyway, Disney, you got a lot of hooks.

Zhubin Parang

[12:55] Trademark law is very much a, well, it can't hurt.

[12:57] We might as well.

[12:58] Yeah, let's try it.

[12:59] It just costs, like, what did it just cost the filing fee?

Elliott Kalan

[13:03] If we're rich with the biggest media company there is, I think, maybe.

Zhubin Parang

[13:06] It's like, what, 25 bucks?

[13:08] Let's just, let's trademark V.

[13:10] Let's just see what happens.

Stuart Wellington

[13:11] You go tiptoeing out of the, you go tiptoeing out of the kitchen.

[13:16] You push open the door to sneak away from the farmer's wife.

[13:21] And you end up in the dining room with guess who?

[13:25] That's right.

[13:26] Dancer Silverfur.

[13:27] All three of you guys are together.

[13:29] Oh, Dancer, you made it.

Zhubin Parang

[13:30] You guys, yeah, you guys come in on the tail end of the applause that I'm getting from the

[13:35] success of the wedding cake.

Dan McCoy

[13:37] And I'm like, you won't believe what happened.

[13:39] We flew.

Zhubin Parang

[13:40] We flew because of a smell.

[13:44] I don't want to hear this religious mumbo jumbo, man.

[13:46] I'm not, I'm not into this.

[13:49] I don't, I just give me a pamphlet and we'll just move on.

Elliott Kalan

[13:51] So we got to, so we were in the kitchen.

[13:53] We got, we got, we left, had to leave the kitchen because some plates fell down.

[13:57] We got to get back into the kitchen where that chili is, right?

[14:00] Also, here's cutie pie.

Zhubin Parang

[14:01] Guys, I'm telling you, I'm thinking that our way in to getting that chili is the bruiser

[14:07] way in, rest in peace.

[14:09] The way that we do a deed so good that we get that chili.

[14:13] Is that how bruiser got it?

[14:14] Forget about this trying to get the chili.

[14:16] Is that the legend of bruiser?

[14:18] Legend tells us that he got, he did such a good thing that they, that he got some chili.

[14:25] Voluntarily, the farmer gave him chili.

Elliott Kalan

[14:27] Now, do we have any idea what that thing was?

[14:30] Well, do we?

[14:31] I'm thinking.

[14:31] Or is it lost in the dusty annals of dog legend?

Stuart Wellington

[14:35] I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure you guys can make something up.

[14:39] So the story goes.

[14:41] Oh, thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[14:43] I hear that the story goes that, well, that's all I know is the story goes.

Zhubin Parang

[14:48] You saved a cat falling from the second story of a hayloft.

Elliott Kalan

[14:51] I don't think that was it.

Zhubin Parang

[14:52] And he was, and he was a fiction.

Elliott Kalan

[14:54] I mean, maybe it was.

[14:55] Yeah, the original cutie pie, cutie pie the first.

[14:58] This is, of course, cutie pie the seventh.

Stuart Wellington

[15:00] Speaking of cutie pie, she is already on the dining room table.

[15:03] Oh, my God.

Elliott Kalan

[15:04] She's making a beeline for that wedding cake.

[15:07] How are we supposed to retell the oral stories of our ethnic heritage as dogs on this farm if we're always being distracted by cutie pie?

[15:15] Okay, we've got to get cutie pie down from that table.

[15:17] What can we do?

Zhubin Parang

[15:18] This cat is performing erasure is what's going on here.

[15:21] She is not allowing us to pass down any oral traditions.

[15:25] Boy, you want to scamp again, Scraps?

Elliott Kalan

[15:31] So what's on the table?

[15:32] The table is covered in what?

[15:33] I'm worried about what I'm going to be running into if I scamper after.

Stuart Wellington

[15:36] So there is a wedding cake.

[15:38] There are a few bouquets of flowers that the maids are coming in and picking up and taking outside.

[15:47] There's, like, baskets of rolls and stacks of plates.

[15:53] So I –

[15:54] Okay, here's what I'm going to do.

Zhubin Parang

[15:56] I will once again use my show dog purebred traits.

[16:00] Oh, no.

[16:00] To jump on the table.

[16:02] Yikes.

[16:03] Run through all those plates and biscuits and things like so many obstacles on a show course.

[16:10] And cut – and cut off cutie pie as she runs towards the wedding cake.

[16:19] Just runs – cut her off just like a semi-hitting Honda Accord when she comes in to T-bone me on the side and knock her off the table.

Elliott Kalan

[16:31] Could I suggest a less brute force option?

[16:34] No.

[16:34] Let me just say, Lucky, it's almost certain to fail and it may kill cutie pie.

[16:38] I think we might have to try it.

[16:39] No, is cutie pie close enough to the edge of the table that we could just, like, put our front paws on the table and pull her down off the table?

[16:48] Or is she, like, really in the center of this table and we can't reach that far?

Stuart Wellington

[16:51] So you want to try and be, like, sneaky about it and just put your paws on the table as opposed to jumping on top of the table?

Dan McCoy

[16:58] I would like to suggest an option based in cat psychology.

[17:02] Something that I feel like I have a better understanding of.

[17:08] What if I, as one of the taller dogs, use my tail as a toy to distract cutie pie to get cutie pie to come to us rather than us to jump onto the table full of breakables?

Stuart Wellington

[17:27] You certainly can try and do that.

[17:28] Which plan are we going with, guys?

Elliott Kalan

[17:30] I've never heard a cake described as breakable before, but I guess it is.

[17:33] Smushable.

Dan McCoy

[17:34] Yes.

[17:35] You can leave it out in the rain.

[17:36] Well.

[17:36] You can't leave it out in the rain.

[17:38] I mean, you can.

[17:39] I mean, you can.

[17:40] It'll be rough.

Elliott Kalan

[17:41] You might as well never try that recipe again if you spent so long to make it.

[17:46] Now it's in the rain.

Dan McCoy

[17:49] I mean, I think that's a problem.

[17:51] This is, like, that time when he's long over.

[17:52] The problem with that is that you didn't save the recipe.

[17:56] I don't understand what the rain has done to the recipe.

Elliott Kalan

[17:59] No, I always assumed that it was such a bad memory that you just threw the recipe away.

[18:03] You know what?

[18:04] I don't even want to be reminded of that time when some asshole left my cake in the rain.

[18:08] I didn't get to eat it.

[18:10] No one got to eat it.

[18:10] And that's that.

[18:11] I mean.

Zhubin Parang

[18:11] In my head, the recipe was caught in the same rainstorm that got the cake.

[18:15] And the ink on the recipe all dissolved.

[18:17] Yeah.

[18:18] So it's a ruined cake and a sheet of white paper.

Stuart Wellington

[18:20] At least some wedding guests didn't dive through the cake like in the November rain video.

[18:25] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:26] Listen, we don't want to wreck the cake until Slash can.

[18:29] Or was it actually?

Zhubin Parang

[18:30] It was at least a solo, yeah.

[18:32] Yeah.

[18:33] Why don't we do, let's do Lucky Bone Watchers.

[18:36] We're going to do Lucky's plan?

[18:37] Okay.

[18:38] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[18:38] Yeah.

[18:39] Okay.

[18:39] What are you rolling, Lucky?

[18:40] I roll three dice.

[18:42] Is that the base thing?

[18:43] The base is two dice.

[18:45] Two dice.

[18:45] I'm going to add my good boy point to this one.

[18:48] Yeah.

[18:48] You've been a good boy.

[18:49] I think that's a good idea.

[18:50] Let's see what I got.

[18:53] I have one six.

[18:55] Oh, man.

[18:56] Okay.

[18:56] So describe what happens.

[18:58] So I like, you know, put my tail over the edge of the table like one of those toys, like a fishing rod cat toy.

[19:11] And I puff up the end of it.

[19:13] And I like.

Stuart Wellington

[19:13] And do you.

[19:14] How did you puff up the end of it, Dan?

[19:15] You inflated it?

[19:16] Do you hold onto your tail like it is a fishing rod?

[19:18] Yeah.

[19:19] Yeah.

[19:19] You got to.

[19:20] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[19:22] I cast my tail onto there.

[19:25] And then like the end of my tail, the fur, you know, like it's like it's walking onto the table.

[19:32] But like in a seductive way.

[19:33] Waving and going.

[19:34] Yoo-hoo.

[19:37] Wow.

Stuart Wellington

[19:38] Got its little hands on its hips.

Dan McCoy

[19:40] Yeah.

[19:41] And Cutie Pie can't resist that.

[19:44] Cutie Pie runs over and.

Stuart Wellington

[19:46] Cutie Pie.

[19:47] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[19:48] Just her, I don't know, bow tie.

[19:50] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[19:51] She comes over and.

[19:53] And I, I mean, I don't know if I'm overstepping my bounds that you described this, but I imagine

[19:59] her chomping on it and me, you know, like, you know, stifling a cry out.

[20:07] There's, you know, like silent tears running down my dog face as I lift her off the table.

[20:14] I really hope the chili is worth all this.

Stuart Wellington

[20:16] And then present, yeah.

[20:18] Then present a Cutie Pie hanging from your tail like a fish on a lure to your two companions.

[20:24] Exactly.

[20:24] That's perfect.

[20:25] And you know what?

[20:26] In, for all your trouble, you earn another good boy point.

[20:29] Aw.

Zhubin Parang

[20:30] Oh, wow.

[20:30] Okay.

[20:30] What are you guys doing?

[20:31] What's the plan?

[20:32] I'm grabbing Cutie Pie by the name of her neck and just holding her in my mouth.

[20:36] Okay.

[20:37] For the foreseeable future.

[20:38] I'll tell you that.

[20:40] Sure.

Stuart Wellington

[20:41] Oh, man.

[20:42] It's going to be so funny when she swaps that out with something else stuck in your mouth.

[20:48] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[20:48] When you realize you're holding a rat with a little hat in your mouth.

[20:53] It's just my own tail.

Zhubin Parang

[20:57] I'm just bleeding out.

[20:58] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[20:59] Okay.

[20:59] So what's the plan here, guys?

[21:01] You know where the pot of chili is.

[21:02] You don't have a way to carry it yet.

Zhubin Parang

[21:04] I, again, reiterate.

[21:05] I did a great job with this wedding cake.

[21:07] Everybody loved it.

[21:08] I'm saying this through great teeth.

[21:09] Yeah, people love you.

[21:10] Yeah.

[21:11] Let's go find.

[21:12] Maybe the farmer's daughter is actually reconsidering and we need to bring the two together to remember

[21:16] what they love about each other.

[21:18] Maybe Lizzie Mae can't quite get her.

[21:22] Yeah.

[21:23] Maybe the youngest daughter, Lizzie Mae, can't quite get her overalls buttoned up for the wedding.

[21:27] Maybe she needs our help to do it.

[21:28] Maybe the farmer's best straw hat needs to be re-strawed.

[21:33] Whatever it is.

Elliott Kalan

[21:33] How would we do any of those things?

[21:35] Maybe we can go help with that.

[21:36] Dancer.

[21:37] How are we going to do it?

[21:37] I mean, let's hypothesize that any of those things are happening.

[21:42] How would we do any of those things?

[21:44] You were, again, you were-

S1

[21:45] Then you threw your voice across the room.

Elliott Kalan

[21:47] We'll figure this out.

[21:48] You were castigating me for the idea of magic bow ties.

[21:51] My only idea was to cute ourselves up so we could attract people to give us chili.

[21:55] Now, suddenly, we're marriage therapists.

[21:59] We're dressers and tailors.

[22:01] We're habidashers.

[22:02] Guys, the thing I heard.

[22:03] The thing I heard about bruiser.

[22:05] We're dogs.

[22:06] Well, it's all we'll ever be.

[22:07] I'm crying.

[22:08] I'm crying.

[22:08] And I start crying.

Zhubin Parang

[22:09] Let me tell you what dogs do.

[22:11] And I say this very gently.

[22:12] And I put my paw on Scraps' shoulders.

[22:15] He's crying.

[22:15] I know all about dog do, Dancer.

[22:17] I know all about it.

[22:18] Let me tell you what dogs do do.

[22:21] Ha ha ha ha ha.

[22:22] But also, what I heard about bruiser was that the reason he's dead is that he, as he was

[22:29] dying, brought together the farmer's oldest daughter and her betrothed.

[22:36] It was their love.

Elliott Kalan

[22:39] And so what?

[22:40] And as a reward on his deathbed, he received one final mouthful of chili to take to heaven

[22:45] with him?

Zhubin Parang

[22:46] And a good boy point.

[22:48] I don't.

[22:49] I, again, this is a, no one can tell this story in whole because a cat always interrupts

[22:54] the story halfway.

[22:55] So no one truly knows.

[22:56] Speaking of, should we check on cutie pie right now?

[22:59] She's in my mouth, of course.

[23:01] I look down and I see, I see that I'm holding a sign that says cutie pie.

[23:07] Yeah, yeah.

[23:08] On a stick.

[23:09] Out to lunch.

[23:11] Yeah.

[23:12] It says, I owe you one cutie pie.

Stuart Wellington

[23:14] No, you still have cutie pie.

[23:16] Although you do, you do look out the window and you can see Tabitha sitting on the windowsill

[23:23] outside running a file across her, her, uh, claws and staring at you guys.

[23:30] I mean, that would make them more blunt, right?

[23:32] Which is good.

[23:34] Oh, she's sharp.

[23:34] No, she's like sharpening.

[23:35] Oh, I see.

[23:36] Yeah.

[23:36] It's, you know, she's got like a fucking whetstone.

[23:40] Uh, yeah, she's got a barber strap and she's like.

[23:43] Yeah.

[23:45] Okay.

[23:45] That makes sense.

[23:46] Very old fashioned.

Elliott Kalan

[23:51] Well, Manolo, we have a show to promote.

[23:55] It's called Dr. Game Show.

S6

[23:56] It's a family friendly podcast where listeners submit games and we play them with callers from

[24:01] around the world.

Zhubin Parang

[24:03] Oh, sounds good.

[24:04] New episodes happen every other Wednesday on MaximumFun.org.

S6

[24:08] It's a, it's a fast and loose oasis of absurd innocence and naivete.

[24:15] Are you writing a poem?

S1

[24:16] No.

[24:17] And just saying things from my memory.

S6

[24:20] And, uh, it's a nice break from reality.

[24:23] Is that, are we allowed to say that?

Stuart Wellington

[24:26] I don't know.

[24:26] It sounds bad.

S6

[24:27] It comes with a 100% happiness guarantee.

[24:30] It does not.

Stuart Wellington

[24:31] Come for the games and stay for the chaos.

John Hodgman

[24:36] I'm Judge John Hodgman.

[24:38] And I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne.

[24:39] Ten years ago, I came on Jordan Jesse Go and judged my first dispute.

Stuart Wellington

[24:43] Is chili a soup?

John Hodgman

[24:45] It's a stew, obviously.

[24:47] The judge has dispensed a decade of justice.

[24:50] He's the one person wise enough to answer the really important questions.

[24:55] Like, should you hire a mime to perform at your own funeral?

Zhubin Parang

[24:59] After they cry, I want them to laugh.

John Hodgman

[25:02] Do you really need a tank full of jellyfish in your den?

S6

[25:06] They smell like living creatures decaying.

John Hodgman

[25:08] Only if they are decaying.

S6

[25:10] Yeah, which they will be.

John Hodgman

[25:11] Real people, real justice, real comedy.

[25:14] Winner of the Webby Award for Best Comedy Podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[25:18] The Judge John Hodgman Podcast.

[25:20] Every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org.

Elliott Kalan

[25:25] The Flophouse this week is sponsored in part by Storyblocks.

[25:29] Storyblocks makes it possible for creators to keep up with the growing demands for modern video content.

[25:34] Look, you need to make video content.

[25:36] We all have to.

[25:37] Legally.

[25:38] The government tells us so.

[25:39] But how do you do it without the footage that you need?

[25:42] Well, luckily, Storyblocks has you covered.

[25:45] You can stop sacrificing your vision due to time, budget, or resources because now you've got an entire library of footage at your command.

[25:53] Your total dominating command.

[25:56] Storyblocks' unlimited all-access plan gives you unlimited downloads of the over 1 million-plus assets in their library.

[26:02] You can try out multiple options quickly and find the perfect fit so you can create more and spend a lot less.

[26:07] Restock is their commitment to increase representation in stock media by hiring creators from marginalized communities to create content that is more reflective of the diverse world we live in.

[26:16] So you not only have access to all this footage, you have access to the work of diverse footage creators out there.

[26:21] Stock media that gives you more angles on life on this funny little marvel we call Earth.

[26:27] Stay on budget while telling the best version of your story with the most affordable subscription plans and tools on the market that scale to meet your needs.

[26:34] As people know, if they've seen our live shows over the internet, Dan has done some amazing work with Storyblocks making videos that unfortunately are always set to songs about how he has to pee.

[26:44] But don't blame the footage for the puerile level of our comedy.

[26:48] The footage looks amazing.

[26:50] Dan finds such an amazing variety of things from dancers to clowns to just slices of meat on a plate.

[26:56] I'm just amazed at all the stuff that he finds with Storyblocks and puts together seamlessly.

[27:00] It looks like he went out and shot that footage in super high def or something.

[27:04] It looks amazing.

[27:05] So go ahead, explore their library, and subscribe to Storyblocks today at storyblocks.com slash flop.

[27:10] Again, that's storyblocks.com slash flop.

Dan McCoy

[27:14] And now let's go back to the show.

Stuart Wellington

[27:27] So as you are making your plans, you can hear outside that the guests are beginning to arrive.

[27:33] You can see Widow Stovekettle arrive and with her, her companion Buttercup wearing a matching outfit.

[27:42] And the pressure is on.

[27:46] So what are you guys going to do?

[27:48] Okay, here's the thing.

[27:50] Now, again.

[27:51] Okay, yeah.

[27:52] I reiterate.

Zhubin Parang

[27:53] Tell me the story.

[27:54] Tell me the legend of Bruiser again.

[27:56] Some kind of spectacular simulated saving in not only in front of the wedding, but also Buttercup would go a long way towards us getting that four-way date that we've all been assuming is going to happen.

Dan McCoy

[28:09] I heard that the reason Bruiser got chilly is that the farmer realized it was heretical to hand out Goodboy points to dogs.

Elliott Kalan

[28:21] That's almost certainly not what happened.

[28:23] That's almost certainly not the case.

[28:24] It cannot be the case.

[28:25] It cannot be the case.

[28:27] The farm –

[28:27] I don't even believe you heard that.

[28:30] How is the farmer aware of Goodboy points?

[28:31] I heard it in a dream.

[28:33] Yeah, it's ridiculous.

[28:36] So, I mean, another option is during the wedding, I'll tell you where everyone's going to be watching.

[28:41] The wedding.

[28:42] No one's going to be watching this chilly.

[28:43] So that might be the time for us to sneak in and drink our fill and then I guess maybe like dip a cup or a bowl into it.

[28:51] Although it's possible that they'll then be getting the chili ready for prep during that time.

[28:55] It depends on how good the caterers are, if there are any.

Zhubin Parang

[28:58] Wait a minute.

[28:59] Wait a minute.

[29:00] Why don't we wait until the chili is set on the table and then drill a hole through the bottom of the table through the chili pot?

[29:08] That'll have the added –

[29:09] What are we going to do that with?

[29:11] Well, I – you know, there's – I mean, this is – it's an old farm.

[29:14] There's got to be some sort of rustic implement here that we could use.

[29:17] There's probably like a whole ton.

Stuart Wellington

[29:18] Is there like some kind of hand crank drill?

[29:19] Yeah.

[29:20] You haven't been down into the root cellar yet.

[29:23] Maybe you can find what you want to do there.

[29:24] We haven't been down to the root cellar at all.

Elliott Kalan

[29:25] That seems like a real wild goose chase.

[29:27] It's a real snipe hunt to go down to the root cellar for a hand crank drill.

Stuart Wellington

[29:31] Or maybe back in the barn there might have been a hand crank drill.

Dan McCoy

[29:37] Maybe we can hide in the root cellar and if there happens to be a hand crank drill there, we can use it.

[29:44] What are we hiding in the root cellar for?

[29:45] Why?

[29:46] Until the coast is clear for the chili.

Elliott Kalan

[29:49] So, yeah, I think maybe – so I like the beginning of Dancer's Plan, which was to wait for when the chili is set out on the table to cool.

[29:57] Since – true, if we go for it now, we're just going to get – we're going to burn our mouths.

[30:00] That's true.

[30:00] With a mouthful of hot chili.

[30:01] Yeah.

[30:02] And I don't –

[30:03] Not to mention the kitchen will always be full.

[30:04] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[30:04] And not – and also like I don't want to burn my tongue.

[30:06] That's what I sweat through.

[30:07] So let's – I want to leave that unburnt.

[30:10] So maybe – yeah, we'll – let's keep an eye on Cutie Pie and we'll just kind of hang around the area, hide it hidden where the chili is going to be served.

[30:17] Oh, no.

[30:18] Uh-oh.

[30:18] Is Cutie Pie already on her way somewhere?

Stuart Wellington

[30:21] Yeah.

[30:21] I've got her on the nape of my neck.

[30:23] No, you have a little doll in the shape of Cutie Pie in your –

[30:27] Oh.

[30:28] Oh, Cutie Pie, where are you?

[30:29] A little corn doll.

[30:30] I knew she doesn't squeak like this.

[30:33] You don't know where Cutie Pie is, but the door to the kitchen is slowly closing.

[30:40] So –

[30:40] So somebody must have just gone inside the kitchen.

[30:44] Should we go into the kitchen, guys?

Elliott Kalan

[30:46] Yeah, let's run into the kitchen.

[30:47] Okay, but we can't – we've got to do it in a way that – well, we can't run if they're going to see us running, right?

[30:51] Is there a way we can kind of like slink in?

Stuart Wellington

[30:53] Yeah.

[30:54] Who's going to be – who's going to lead the sneak attempt?

Elliott Kalan

[30:57] Now, I have – again, I have Scamper, but I also have Distract and can't stay mad at you.

[31:04] I could distract people while one of you goes into the kitchen to try to find Cutie Pie.

[31:08] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[31:09] How are you going to –

[31:10] Sure.

[31:11] How are you going to perform this Distract?

Elliott Kalan

[31:12] Okay, so as a terrier, I am adorable when I get up on my hind legs and kind of spin around in little hops.

[31:20] Mm-hmm.

[31:21] And I also have learned how to bow afterwards.

[31:24] Oh, wow.

[31:25] Which is high difficulty for a dog.

[31:26] For a human, very easy.

[31:27] But for a dog, not so much.

[31:29] So I'm going to – so what I'll do is I'll go like, yipe, yipe, yipe, yipe.

[31:33] And then people will look at me and then I'll be just bouncing – like hopping up and down on my back legs and spinning around.

[31:39] And just being so cute that people love the show.

[31:42] And one of you guys can go in and catch Cutie Pie or both of you.

[31:48] Maybe both of you go in.

Stuart Wellington

[31:49] What I will say is it looks like the folks that are in like this front part of the house are pretty focused on getting ready to go out and for the procession.

[32:02] And they're also paying attention to the people that arrive.

[32:04] So you might be able to sneak by pretty easily.

[32:07] So maybe we should just go in the kitchen.

Zhubin Parang

[32:08] We should – you should do that in the kitchen so that people working in the kitchen don't see us.

[32:13] Okay.

[32:13] That might be a good idea.

[32:14] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[32:14] So let's go into the kitchen and then as soon as we're through that door, I'll go –

[32:19] And then I'll –

[32:20] And then I'll –

[32:21] All that stuff.

[32:23] And then I'll spin around and do all that stuff.

[32:23] Give me that rule.

[32:24] Give me that rule.

[32:25] Yeah.

[32:25] And I'll do some of my impressions.

[32:28] Oh, bark, bark, bark, bark.

[32:30] That's Jimmy Stewart as a dog.

[32:32] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[32:33] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[32:34] Promised but not delivered until now.

Elliott Kalan

[32:36] Yeah, until now.

[32:37] Edward G. Robinson as a dog too.

[32:39] Yeah, bark, see?

[32:40] Yeah.

[32:41] Bark, bark, bark.

[32:42] Yeah.

[32:43] And so –

[32:43] These are all pretty old impressions.

[32:46] I mean, modern-day stars do not have distinctive voices, Dan.

[32:50] Or Dan – Lucky.

[32:52] Name one modern star that has a distinctive voice.

[32:54] Name one.

[32:54] I dare you.

[32:56] What's the most recent?

[32:56] Christopher Walken?

[32:57] Uh, bark.

[32:59] Uh, bark, bark.

[33:01] There's none.

[33:02] Name one.

[33:02] Does George Clooney or Brad Pitt have a distinctive voice?

[33:04] No.

[33:05] No.

[33:06] Does Timothee Chalamet have a distinctive voice?

[33:07] No.

[33:08] I guess maybe –

[33:09] What about Andrew Garfield?

[33:10] He's got that British accent.

[33:12] No, I mean, a British accent is not distinctive.

[33:13] That's – like, half the actors have it.

[33:15] Oh, nice.

[33:15] I mean, like, maybe Tom Holland is a little distinctive and it's like, uh, bark, bark, bark.

[33:21] But you just – if I don't say Tom Holland, you don't know that it's Tom Holland.

[33:25] It just sounds like some kid that is kind of like has a wavery voice.

[33:28] So, again, I got to go with the old references because the new ones are just no – like, people are like, do Shailene Woodley.

[33:36] Do her.

[33:36] And I'm like, I don't know how to do that.

[33:38] There's no – there's nothing distinctive, right?

[33:40] So, anyway.

[33:40] So, that's – but that's not Elliot saying this.

[33:43] This is Scraps saying this.

[33:44] That's how Scraps feels about it.

[33:45] Yeah, of course.

[33:46] Yeah.

[33:46] So, okay.

Stuart Wellington

[33:47] Elliot's a huge fan of Shailene Woodley and their distinctive voice.

Elliott Kalan

[33:50] Very distinctive.

[33:51] Yes.

[33:51] I find it very distinctive.

[33:53] People are like, do a J-Lo impression.

[33:55] Okay.

[33:57] A lady's voice.

[33:57] Anyway, so that's what Scraps is saying.

[33:59] So, we go into the room.

[34:01] Okay.

[34:01] So, we're going to sneak in there and then – and we all go in there.

[34:05] So, are we in the kitchen already?

Stuart Wellington

[34:06] Yeah.

[34:06] You need to give me a die roll for your distraction.

[34:09] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[34:09] Well, I'm going to do the – okay.

[34:10] Now it's – and I'm doing the dance.

[34:14] You can see this distraction.

[34:15] It's a 4D6 roll.

[34:16] Okay.

[34:16] Oh, wow.

[34:17] That's pretty good.

[34:18] Yeah.

[34:18] That's just natural distract.

[34:20] Yeah.

[34:20] I get a six and a three and two twos.

[34:23] Nice.

[34:23] Yeah.

[34:24] So, there's a six in there.

Stuart Wellington

[34:24] Hell, yeah.

[34:25] So, what is this distraction – what happens while you're distracting them?

Elliott Kalan

[34:30] So, while I'm just – so, I'm doing my – I'm jumping around.

[34:33] I'm hopping on my back legs.

[34:34] I'm bowing.

[34:35] I'm doing my tricks and jokes and japes.

[34:38] What are you guys doing while I'm – while they're – and they are absorbed in it.

[34:41] They're like, what?

[34:42] This dog should be on the stage.

[34:45] The legitimate theater.

[34:46] Yeah.

[34:47] Or at the very least, the raider row.

[34:48] And that's what they say.

[34:50] They call radio.

[34:51] And it doesn't make sense.

[34:53] You wouldn't be able to see the dog's tricks.

[34:55] But you'd be able to hear the audience reacting to it like, oh.

[34:57] I mean, you know.

[34:58] Oh.

[34:59] Ah.

Dan McCoy

[34:59] Edgar Bergen, you know, as a ventriloquist, thrived on the radio for many years.

[35:05] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[35:06] That's very – so, a dog could do it too.

[35:07] So, what are you guys doing while they're just like laughing, nudging each other in the ribs as I do particularly funny impressions?

[35:13] We're scanning the room.

Dan McCoy

[35:14] Our eyes are like –

[35:15] We're scanning the room.

[35:16] Going out of our head and like just like – like going all over the room.

Zhubin Parang

[35:20] Also, I'm whispering to Lucky, hey, just out of curiosity, in all his traveling and riding the rails, how many hobo murders do you think scraps the scene?

[35:32] I say 50.

[35:34] I say at minimum 50.

Dan McCoy

[35:36] How many hobo murders a year would that have to be to be 50 especially – I mean, oh.

[35:42] I mean, the question of dog years or hobo years would come into play as well.

Zhubin Parang

[35:47] I'm just saying he holds up very well considering all the psychological trauma he's been enduring, you know?

[35:53] And then do we see Cutie Pie?

Elliott Kalan

[35:56] Yeah, you see Cutie Pie.

[35:57] I mean, how could you miss her?

[35:58] You're so focused on the task at hand.

Stuart Wellington

[36:00] Cutie Pie is plopped down in between the feet of one of the cooks who is currently applauding scraps.

[36:12] And Cutie Pie is also applauding scraps.

Zhubin Parang

[36:17] Oh, fantastic.

[36:18] I rush up and I grab her by the nape of the neck.

[36:21] Okay.

[36:22] And I race out the back of the door.

[36:26] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[36:26] As you're racing out, they're like, no dogs in the kitchen.

Zhubin Parang

[36:30] Yeah.

[36:31] I'm going.

Elliott Kalan

[36:36] Yeah.

[36:37] That was your idea for me to leave.

[36:39] Yeah.

[36:40] And yeah, you guys go out and I'll – they ask for an encore but I beg off.

Stuart Wellington

[36:45] So you slip out the back door of the kitchen which leads to like a small like hallway.

[36:51] And there's a stairs that go down to the cellar and then there's a door out the back of the house.

Elliott Kalan

[37:00] I mean I don't see what it would profit us to go to the cellar but –

[37:03] I think we got to see the cellar.

[37:04] He's been hit with the cellar pretty much.

[37:05] Let's just go in the cellar.

[37:06] We got to do it.

[37:07] We got to look at the cellar.

[37:08] Like best case scenario, we could just lock cutie pie in there.

[37:10] Yeah.

[37:11] If there's some way to secure cutie pie in the cellar in a way that won't leave her dead when we inevitably forget her for a while.

[37:17] That would be – yeah.

[37:18] So let's go to the cellar and see.

[37:19] I know the Ramones said they don't want to go down to the basement but I think we have to.

Stuart Wellington

[37:23] Okay.

[37:24] So you run down the wooden steps that lead down to the cellar.

[37:29] It's nice and cool and a little musty down here.

[37:33] There's shelves with like jars of preserves and tools, woodworking tools.

[37:42] A hand crank drill?

[37:44] Is there a hand crank drill?

[37:47] Most likely.

Elliott Kalan

[37:48] I mean most likely.

[37:50] Yes or no?

[37:50] We're looking for it.

Stuart Wellington

[37:51] Yeah.

[37:52] You find a hand crank drill.

[37:55] You see?

Elliott Kalan

[37:56] I mean it still doesn't prove that it's a good idea.

[37:58] Just that it's slightly feasible.

Stuart Wellington

[38:00] And as you're poking around, you're like backing up and you bump into – at first you think you bump into like another dog and you're like, oh, excuse me, sir.

[38:10] Turns out it's not just a dog.

[38:12] It is the taxidermied body of Bruiser.

[38:19] Bruiser.

Zhubin Parang

[38:20] Bruiser.

[38:21] What happened to you?

[38:22] Tell us.

[38:23] I assume we don't understand what a taxidermied body is.

[38:26] We think he's now frozen by a witch's spell.

Stuart Wellington

[38:29] Yes.

[38:30] But your moment of shock causes you to knock a jar of preserves off a shelf, raising the heat by one.

[38:36] Wait, what?

S1

[38:38] We're all the way in the shelf.

[38:39] We were just staring.

[38:40] How did they know?

[38:40] But you got a hand crank drill.

Elliott Kalan

[38:43] Okay.

[38:43] We saw Bruiser.

Dan McCoy

[38:44] And I'll lick up some of that preserves.

Elliott Kalan

[38:46] It's delicious.

[38:47] Yeah, what kind of preserves is it?

[38:49] Apricots.

[38:49] Oh, wow.

[38:51] And there's nothing about Bruiser that tells us how he got that chili, right?

[38:54] It's just his body.

Zhubin Parang

[38:56] Is it like written on a plaque somewhere below his taxidermied body?

[38:59] There's a legend.

[39:00] No.

Elliott Kalan

[39:01] Read these words detailing the legend of Bruiser.

Stuart Wellington

[39:07] For on this day in the year of our Lord.

[39:09] There's a pretty lengthy plaque, but it's been eroded from time.

Zhubin Parang

[39:14] Oh, man.

[39:16] That's probably exactly the opposite of what the plaque said, too.

[39:19] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[39:20] I mean, they shouldn't have made the plaque out of cheese.

[39:22] That was the problem.

[39:23] Yeah.

[39:23] No.

[39:24] That was a mistake.

Stuart Wellington

[39:25] Yeah, and down here, there's one of those giant wheels of cheese.

[39:30] It's great.

[39:30] What a great basement.

Elliott Kalan

[39:32] Oh.

[39:32] So is there anything that we could use to restrain or contain cutie pie?

[39:38] Is there anything we see that we could like a cage we could put her in or a box that we

[39:42] could nail her into and then write Abu Dhabi on the side and just mail her off?

Stuart Wellington

[39:47] There's some canning supplies.

[39:50] There's some chain.

[39:51] No, we can't put her in a can.

[39:53] Just put her in a jar.

[39:54] We'll poke air holes in the jar.

[39:55] You can't.

Elliott Kalan

[39:55] Those are airtight jars.

[39:56] That's the point of preserves.

[39:58] We'll poke air holes in them.

Zhubin Parang

[39:59] How are we going to poke holes in a jar?

[40:02] Oh, we don't have claws?

[40:03] Do I have claws?

Stuart Wellington

[40:04] There's like buckets.

[40:06] No.

Zhubin Parang

[40:07] I mean, we could put her upside down in a bucket.

Stuart Wellington

[40:08] I said, and I mentioned there's chains and rope down here as well, right?

[40:13] Oh, yeah.

[40:13] I mean, we could put her in a bucket.

[40:14] If you want to do like a, turn her into like a little Jacob Marley ghost.

[40:19] Yeah, yeah.

[40:20] That would be cute.

[40:21] Do some kind of man-of-the-iron mask thing with her.

Elliott Kalan

[40:23] Just chain her up and put the bucket over her head, I guess.

[40:25] Slowly forget her identity until she just becomes the prisoner.

Zhubin Parang

[40:34] What do you guys, what do you dogs think?

[40:36] Here's the thing.

[40:37] If we have that hand crank, I think we should go up there and try and just wait in the table

[40:41] and drill a hole in that table and jelly pot.

Elliott Kalan

[40:43] It's just stupid enough to totally fail.

[40:46] But I mean, we should totally, we got to take the hand crank.

[40:49] At this point, we've been teasing it so long.

[40:52] This is Chekhov's hand crank.

[40:52] I don't want to.

Zhubin Parang

[40:53] Here's also what I want to do.

[40:55] I want to wrap Cutie Pie in chains just so we hear a lot of rattling whenever she goes anywhere.

[41:01] So we're not like surprised.

Elliott Kalan

[41:03] I mean, we've heard the story of belling the cat.

[41:06] Yes.

Zhubin Parang

[41:07] We're just chaining up the cat.

[41:08] It'll also weigh her down a little bit.

[41:10] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[41:10] Yeah, there's like a giant padlock in the chains.

[41:14] Yeah.

[41:14] Perfect.

[41:15] Wow.

[41:15] Great.

[41:16] So we hear right.

[41:17] You guys are creating a monster.

[41:18] She's got a fucking Harrison version.

Elliott Kalan

[41:20] It seems like she's going to be causing so much more trouble dragging chains behind her.

Dan McCoy

[41:26] Well, but if we lock her to a beam or something.

[41:32] Now, you know, like normally, again, like I'm put in an awkward situation because I feel for cats.

[41:38] But this is a cartoon cat.

[41:39] We're putting cartoon chains around this cat and, you know, like wrapping her up and putting a big comical lock on it.

[41:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[41:47] It says do not open until X-mas.

[41:48] Wait, if we have a padlock.

[41:49] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[41:50] If we have a padlock, why don't we just padlock her leash to one of our leash, collar to one of our collars?

[41:56] That seems also not helpful.

[41:57] Seems like a worse idea.

[41:59] Yeah.

[42:00] Well, then we can have her with us and we'll know she's not going anywhere.

Elliott Kalan

[42:02] If we can padlock her to anything, let's padlock her to like something that will keep her.

[42:05] Padlock her to something stationary.

[42:07] Yeah.

[42:08] So that we can be, not have to worry about her.

[42:10] So I think, I mean, inevitably she will escape.

[42:12] That's just the nature of the universe that we live in.

[42:15] You know?

[42:15] Yeah.

[42:16] But I think we are.

[42:17] Yeah, we minimize damage.

[42:18] Yeah.

[42:19] But at least maybe it'll buy us some time as she is Houdini-ing out of these chains.

Stuart Wellington

[42:23] It's inevitable, but the fact that you struggle against it shows that you have care.

[42:27] Exactly.

[42:28] Exactly.

[42:28] Yeah.

[42:28] Much, you know, death comes.

[42:29] It's like Hades Town.

Elliott Kalan

[42:30] Yeah.

[42:31] Death comes for us all and Cootie Pie also comes for us all eventually.

[42:35] Yeah.

[42:35] So let's chain her to something.

[42:38] But in a way that is humane-ish.

[42:39] All right.

[42:39] Let's just chain her to one.

[42:40] Well, there's like an old stove down there.

[42:44] Well, we can like chain her to the leg of the stove.

[42:46] Not in the stove.

[42:47] I don't want to chain her up in the stove.

[42:48] Yeah, yeah.

[42:49] That's a little bit too much like that different strokes where the kid gets stuck in the refrigerator.

[42:53] Yeah.

[42:53] That's horrifying.

[42:54] Yeah, it's terrifying.

[42:55] Okay.

[42:56] Don't play on those kids.

Stuart Wellington

[42:57] You do it.

[42:58] Cutie Pie.

[42:59] Cutie Pie is looking at you like with the biggest, softest, sweetest, wettest eyes.

[43:05] Okay, so what do you guys do?

[43:06] Oh.

Elliott Kalan

[43:07] And we say, that ought to keep her.

[43:09] And she turns to the camera and go, he don't know me very well.

[43:13] Nope.

[43:15] So, okay.

[43:16] Cutie Pie is chain up.

Zhubin Parang

[43:17] Let's run up to the, let's go find out where that chili pot is.

[43:20] Throw a hole in some chili.

[43:22] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[43:23] Well, so you poke your head into the kitchen and you see that the kitchen is not completely empty, but it's cleared out quite a bit because the ceremony is going on.

[43:35] You can hear the band pick up and the chili has been set on the counter by the window to cool a little bit.

[43:43] Okay.

[43:44] This seems like the perfect time for us to steal some chili, guys.

[43:47] So there's just one, there's just the one head cook who is whistling to herself as she tidies up the kitchen after the whirlwind of activity.

[44:00] Now, I would distract her, but she's seen my show.

Zhubin Parang

[44:04] Oh, see, this is why, yeah, you shut your wad on this thing.

[44:06] Yeah, you've already distracted her once.

[44:08] You can't distract her a second time.

[44:10] All we can do now is use that hand crank drill to drill through her Achilles tendon to immobilize her.

Elliott Kalan

[44:15] So she can't chase after us.

[44:17] That's the only option.

[44:19] But what if that wasn't the only option?

[44:20] Let's blue sky for a moment.

[44:22] There was something else we could do.

[44:23] I've already done it.

[44:24] I've already drilled through all your sex.

[44:26] Other than permanently mutilate this poor woman.

Stuart Wellington

[44:29] You pulled out a chalkboard and you guys are writing down ideas.

Elliott Kalan

[44:33] And there's no bad ones right now.

[44:36] I'm going to write up there Achilles tendon drill.

[44:38] We're not going to do it, but I'm putting it up there.

[44:40] This is a show of good faith and teamwork.

[44:42] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[44:44] Is this counter like windowsill adjacent?

[44:47] Can we access it by the windowsill?

[44:49] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[44:50] Yeah.

[44:50] Is it cooling on the windowsill or is it cooling just next to the window?

[44:54] Next to the window.

[44:55] Next to the window.

[44:55] Okay.

[44:56] Yeah.

[44:56] So what if, and how high up is the window?

[44:58] Is it possible that we could reach it by either one of us going up there or standing on each

[45:02] other's backs?

Stuart Wellington

[45:03] Well, it's, it's on a, the, the chili pot is on the counter, which is, you know, like counter

[45:10] height.

[45:10] And then there's, uh, it's by the window, which is.

[45:13] Which is a little higher up.

[45:15] Slightly higher up.

[45:16] Okay.

[45:16] Or you could also access it by going outside the building and climbing up the wall or a

[45:23] drain pipe or using smells to lift you up.

Elliott Kalan

[45:26] I mean, the smells did lift us up before, but that really only works with hot chili that's

[45:30] still cooking, I guess.

Zhubin Parang

[45:32] Are we able to like me stand on lucky and then scrap stands on me to be the height of the

[45:37] windowsill?

Dan McCoy

[45:38] Absolutely.

[45:39] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[45:39] Then we'll, let's do that.

[45:41] Let's just do that.

[45:41] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[45:41] Why don't we drill, drill ourselves a chili hole from the outside?

[45:45] You see?

[45:46] Chili hole into what?

[45:47] I was thinking scraps would just, yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[45:49] Yeah.

[45:49] I thought scraps would just pull up the, we just lift up the window.

[45:52] Yeah.

[45:53] We could also just grab.

[45:53] But we could just.

Stuart Wellington

[45:55] So, so you're going to, so you, you create a ladder with your bodies and then somebody drills

[46:00] a hole in the side of the chili pot.

[46:03] Yeah.

[46:03] Okay.

[46:03] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[46:04] Are we, are we actually drilling a hole in the chili pot or how heavy is the pot?

[46:08] How, how big and how heavy is it?

Stuart Wellington

[46:10] It's a big metal pot that would, all three of you could carry it, but there is a very

[46:14] good chance you're going to drop this hot pot of chili on somebody.

[46:18] Yeah.

[46:19] Because there's only two handles and you would need all three of you to carry it.

[46:23] Yeah.

[46:23] I think we should, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[46:24] I think we should try it.

[46:25] I mean, I don't see how we don't try it.

[46:26] A chili hole.

[46:28] Wait, the chili hole is what you're still talking about?

[46:31] Okay.

[46:31] I wasn't for that, but now it seems like the chili hole is the only option.

[46:35] I mean, just, I don't, because the thing is that we have a drill.

[46:38] Sure.

[46:38] This is a metal pot.

[46:40] We're dogs.

[46:40] They're handling a tool that is, we're not familiar with.

[46:43] This is a tool that even for a trained human, it would be hard to drill through a pot.

Dan McCoy

[46:47] I think you're forgetting the cartoon nature of our world again, Elliot.

[46:51] That's fair.

Elliott Kalan

[46:51] Well, then why don't we just make a hole, slap it on the, on the pot, let the chili pour

[46:55] out, take the hole away.

[46:56] Because there are no boxes of Acme holes lying around.

[46:59] That's a good point.

[47:00] If only they were in the basement.

[47:01] I wish there were some.

Stuart Wellington

[47:02] So, uh, who, who's on top handling the, the crank drill?

[47:06] Scratch is on top.

Elliott Kalan

[47:07] I mean, there's no, I gotta be on top.

[47:08] I'm the smallest.

[47:09] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[47:10] So you, you drill a hole in the side of the chili pot and then all of a sudden chili squirts

[47:16] out the hole onto the floor.

[47:20] What do you do?

Elliott Kalan

[47:21] Wait.

[47:22] Plug it nicely with your finger?

Stuart Wellington

[47:24] Do you put your mouth over the hole?

Elliott Kalan

[47:26] I mean, I'm going to have to put my mouth on the hole and just start gulping down chili.

[47:29] Like, right?

Zhubin Parang

[47:30] Yeah.

[47:31] I'm going to lick that.

[47:32] We're dogs.

[47:33] Where on the chili pot did you, did you put this hole?

[47:36] I.

[47:36] Like, is it like, is the, is it on the bottom?

[47:38] Is it all the pressure of the chili, like blasting it out?

[47:40] Or is it like.

[47:40] It's like on the side of the pot, right?

Elliott Kalan

[47:42] But I thought it was on the side facing the window rather than the side facing the floor

[47:46] of the kitchen.

[47:46] So it shoots out the window?

[47:48] Okay.

[47:48] I mean, that's.

[47:49] Yeah, that's fine.

[47:50] Unless I'm using some kind of magic drill that creates a hole on the other side of the

[47:53] object that I'm applying it to.

[47:55] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[47:55] So you guys are outside of the house.

[47:57] Yeah.

[47:57] I'm under that thing.

[47:59] Like it's a fountain, you know.

Elliott Kalan

[48:00] Okay.

[48:01] It's like a chili fountain.

Zhubin Parang

[48:02] And we're just.

[48:03] Gulping down some chili.

[48:04] Yes.

[48:04] That's what we're doing.

[48:05] We're just gulping down chili.

[48:05] Okay.

[48:05] We're grabbing as much chili as it flies through the air.

Elliott Kalan

[48:08] And we got to get Buttercup over here, right?

[48:10] I mean, that's.

[48:10] Okay.

[48:10] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[48:11] Now.

[48:12] Because at this point we're full of chili.

[48:14] And you didn't.

[48:14] You didn't.

[48:14] Which means we're also very farty at this time.

[48:17] Yeah.

[48:17] Okay.

[48:18] So you're going to have to go try and get Buttercup in the middle of the ceremony to come

[48:24] over and get some of this chili.

[48:25] Yes.

Zhubin Parang

[48:26] Yes.

[48:26] Scraps.

[48:26] You got to hold your thumb over the chili hole.

Elliott Kalan

[48:29] I don't have a thumb.

[48:29] I'm a dog.

[48:30] But I'll put my tail in it.

[48:31] Okay.

[48:32] You got to put your.

[48:33] You got to plug the chili hole up with your tail.

[48:35] Keep in mind the pressure on the pot is enormous.

[48:38] I know this pot held this chili normally just fine.

[48:40] But once I plug it with my tail, for some reason the pressure is going to build up in this pot.

Stuart Wellington

[48:45] Okay.

[48:46] So the heat has gone up slightly.

[48:49] That represents the fact that the chili pot has been breached.

[48:54] Scraps.

[48:55] Tail is plugging the hole in the pot.

[48:58] And from the.

[49:00] It started at the tips.

[49:01] At the bottom of your feet.

[49:02] But it is now going up.

[49:03] Moving slowly up your head.

[49:05] Your body is turning entirely red.

[49:07] Yeah, yeah.

[49:08] Like a thermostat.

[49:09] Yeah.

[49:09] I'm really.

[49:10] Okay.

[49:10] I'm really feeling it.

[49:11] This is heat more weight than one.

[49:12] It's the one.

[49:12] Yeah.

[49:13] So you are doing that.

[49:14] Who is going to go get Buttercup to come over and have some of this chili?

[49:17] What?

Zhubin Parang

[49:20] I feel like I.

[49:22] As the best looking dog.

[49:23] I should probably run over to Buttercup.

[49:24] Okay.

[49:24] And help her.

[49:26] And convince her to come over.

Stuart Wellington

[49:28] Okay.

[49:28] You go.

[49:29] You go running around.

[49:30] You go running around the house.

Zhubin Parang

[49:31] I take off towards the ceremony.

[49:34] I run up to Buttercup.

[49:36] Who I assume.

[49:37] Where is she in the.

[49:38] In the.

[49:38] In the audience.

[49:39] She is.

[49:39] Towards the back.

[49:40] Hopefully.

Stuart Wellington

[49:41] She's more in the middle.

[49:42] Next to Widow.

[49:44] Stove Kettle.

[49:44] Wow.

[49:45] Okay.

[49:45] Is this.

[49:46] Is this wedding ceremony?

[49:47] Just like any pet.

[49:48] Can you just be there?

[49:48] No.

[49:49] But she's a companion dog.

[49:50] I mean.

[49:51] Since the widow lost her husband.

[49:52] She.

[49:53] She's put a lot of her emotional energy.

[49:56] She's an emotional support dog.

Zhubin Parang

[49:57] She has a vest.

[49:58] She's got a card.

[49:58] Yeah.

[49:58] This is not.

[49:59] Yeah.

[50:00] If Delta won't allow her on.

[50:01] I don't consider this a true companion animal.

[50:03] All the same.

Elliott Kalan

[50:05] If they.

[50:05] If they went anywhere further than the center of town.

[50:07] To sit around the cracker barrel.

[50:08] She would bring her on a plane with her.

[50:09] Yeah.

[50:10] Yeah.

[50:11] So.

Zhubin Parang

[50:12] Okay.

[50:13] So I run up as close to.

[50:15] As close to earshot.

[50:17] And.

[50:17] As.

[50:17] To Buttercup.

[50:18] As I get about being unobtrusive.

[50:20] Uh huh.

[50:20] And I whisper.

[50:21] Uh.

[50:22] Buttercup.

[50:23] Wait.

[50:24] How do I.

[50:25] How do I.

[50:26] How do I.

[50:27] They can't understand me.

[50:27] I'll say.

[50:27] Buttercup.

[50:28] Uh.

[50:29] We've got.

[50:30] Uh.

[50:30] Farmer McAllister's chili.

[50:32] Around back.

[50:32] But you've got to hurry.

[50:34] For a very.

[50:35] Due to expense.

[50:36] That'll be too complex to explain to you right now.

[50:38] It will kill scraps.

[50:39] If you don't come with me right now.

[50:41] To get the chili.

Elliott Kalan

[50:43] And then.

[50:44] Is it going to die?

[50:44] And then it cuts to me.

[50:45] And I turn.

[50:46] I turn to the camera.

[50:47] And go.

[50:47] He ain't lying folks.

[50:48] And then it cuts back to.

[50:49] To dance.

[50:50] To a dancer.

[50:51] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[50:51] Okay.

[50:52] I'm going to need a roll.

[50:53] To represent you.

[50:54] Sneaking in.

[50:55] Convincing her.

[50:56] And sneaking back.

[50:58] Do you have a.

[50:59] Trait that would be good for this?

Zhubin Parang

[51:01] I mean.

[51:01] My stubbornness.

[51:03] I.

[51:03] Probably.

[51:04] Figures in here.

[51:04] You're lying on stubborn.

[51:05] A lot.

Stuart Wellington

[51:06] But I guess show dog.

[51:07] Did too.

Zhubin Parang

[51:08] I'm also a scrapper.

[51:09] You know.

[51:09] I.

[51:10] And I.

[51:10] I know that probably.

[51:11] Most of these.

[51:11] Captain's will.

[51:12] Weird.

[51:12] Like you know.

[51:13] I think.

Stuart Wellington

[51:13] I think in this case.

[51:14] You're going to be rolling two dice.

[51:16] And if you want to spend a good boy point.

[51:17] You can.

Zhubin Parang

[51:18] I absolutely do.

[51:19] I think you got to.

Zhubin Parang

[51:19] We're so close.

[51:20] We're so close.

[51:21] To that.

[51:22] To that.

[51:22] Okay.

[51:23] Yeah.

[51:24] Oh boy.

[51:25] Okay.

[51:26] Okay.

[51:26] Here we go.

[51:27] Here we go.

[51:30] Sorry.

[51:30] I lost the.

S1

[51:32] I lost the tab.

[51:34] I lost my.

Zhubin Parang

[51:35] I lost the tab.

[51:36] Because my Chrome tab right now.

[51:37] Is top actors.

[51:38] I was looking desperately.

[51:39] For an actor who's.

[51:40] I'm a younger actor.

[51:41] Who has a distinctive voice.

Elliott Kalan

[51:42] Try.

[51:43] Spend all night looking.

[51:44] Email me tomorrow.

[51:45] You won't find one.

Zhubin Parang

[51:47] How young is Emo Phillips?

[51:49] The youngest actor.

[51:50] On this list of top actors.

[51:52] Is Robert Downey Jr.

Elliott Kalan

[51:53] Yeah.

[51:54] And Robert Downey Jr.'s voice.

[51:55] Is still not that distinctive.

[51:56] I mean.

[51:57] His.

[51:57] Persona.

[51:58] Persona.

[51:58] Is Emo Phillips.

[51:59] Stan.

[52:00] I don't think.

[52:00] I don't think he's going to be any.

[52:02] He's not in Forbes.

[52:03] Is 30 under 30.

[52:04] I'll tell you that.

Zhubin Parang

[52:06] All right.

[52:07] Two virtual.

[52:08] Two dice.

Stuart Wellington

[52:09] Yep.

[52:09] Plus one.

[52:10] So three dice.

[52:11] Because you spent your good boy point.

Zhubin Parang

[52:12] Three dice.

[52:12] That's right.

[52:13] Three dice.

[52:13] Is my good boy point.

[52:14] Come on baby.

[52:16] Two sixes.

[52:18] Oh man.

[52:19] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[52:20] So Buttercup goes running with you.

[52:22] Do you want to.

[52:22] You want to give us a description of what this looks like?

Zhubin Parang

[52:26] Yeah.

[52:26] Me.

[52:27] A gorgeous Siberian husky.

[52:29] Pure bed.

[52:30] Running.

[52:31] Through.

[52:32] What is now the.

[52:33] The.

[52:34] You know.

[52:34] The sun dappled golden hour.

[52:36] Behind me.

[52:36] This beautiful.

[52:38] Buttercup is what now?

[52:39] Oh.

[52:40] She's a poodle.

[52:41] Oh.

[52:41] This beautiful poodle.

[52:43] Locks dangling in the breeze.

[52:45] Dangling.

[52:45] She's looking at me with all reverence.

[52:47] Dangly locks.

[52:48] Yep.

[52:49] Their long locks.

[52:49] Yeah baby.

[52:50] They got those little like you know bouncy curls.

[52:52] Yeah.

[52:52] They got those.

[52:53] Do you know what a poodle is?

[52:54] Sure.

[52:56] Yeah.

[52:56] It's very Boderic.

[52:57] Yeah.

[52:57] We.

[52:58] Yeah.

[52:59] We.

[52:59] We run around.

[53:01] And as we're.

[53:02] You know.

[53:02] As we're running like in slow motion around.

[53:03] And the farmer like cuts back and forth to Scraps.

[53:06] Who's.

[53:07] You know.

[53:07] The red heat.

[53:09] Line is just.

[53:09] Is just inching up his body.

[53:11] Yeah.

[53:11] Are we going to get there in time?

[53:13] Are we going to get there in time?

[53:14] We're running.

[53:15] We're running.

[53:15] We get there right in time.

[53:18] I assume just as Scraps' body is propelled out of the chili hole.

[53:22] Yeah.

[53:23] Tail on fire.

[53:23] In time for a huge gust of chili.

[53:26] Sorry.

[53:27] A huge stream of chili to go straight into Buttercup's open mouth.

[53:30] Oh wow.

Stuart Wellington

[53:32] You guys did it.

[53:33] And you saved the day.

[53:35] The wedding went off without a hitch.

[53:37] You didn't ruin too much of the chili.

[53:40] And you kept the heat down pretty well.

[53:42] You know.

[53:43] I think you guys are all good boys.

[53:45] So you all get a good boy point.

[53:47] Oh.

[53:48] Thanks too.

[53:48] That's all I ever wanted to hear from you too.

[53:50] We're going to get a successful adventure.

[53:52] I think this is our only successful adventure.

[53:54] When it comes down to it.

[53:56] I 100% think you're correct.

[53:58] So.

[53:59] Thank you so much everybody for tuning in.

[54:01] Thank you for giving me an excuse to run my friends through a silly adventure.

[54:06] Again if you enjoyed this for some reason.

[54:09] And you'd like more.

[54:11] There's a couple episodes in the Adventure Zone feed.

[54:14] Where we play Dungeons and Dragons.

[54:16] And then in our bonus feed.

[54:18] There's a ton of material for MaxFun supporters.

[54:21] Where I make these guys play through these like weird boiled detective Cthulhu stories.

[54:27] With aliens and stuff.

[54:28] And I think they're a lot of fun.

[54:29] I want to thank Alex Smith for editing this episode.

[54:33] And the previous episode.

[54:34] And putting in music and sound effects and stuff.

[54:37] And I have been Stuart Wellington.

[54:40] I've been Dan McCoy.

[54:41] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[54:42] And I'm Zubin Parang.

[54:44] Bye.

[54:57] Thank you.

S1

[55:27] Thank you.

[55:57] Thank you.

[56:27] Thank you.

[56:29] Thank you.

S1

[56:29] Thank you.

[56:31] Thank you.

[56:33] Thank you.

[56:35] Thank you.

[56:37] Thank you.

[56:39] Thank you.

[56:41] Thank you.

FH Mini 44 - FlopTails, Part 2, with Zhubin Parang

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