FH Mini 45 - Live from Elliott's 40th

[0:00] Okay. I'm going to nail it right at the start.

[0:03] Okay. It's going to be perfect.

[0:03] Okay.

[0:04] I feel like you're already already making that less likely.

[0:12] Hey, it's me Stewart Wellington of the Flophouse podcast.

[0:16] You're listening to the Flophouse Mini.

[0:18] I'm joined by my co-hosts Dan McCoy.

[0:21] Hello and Elliot Kalin.

[0:23] That's me.

[0:24] And we have something special planned.

[0:25] We're all out here in Cali.

[0:27] Yeah.

[0:28] Plan is wrong on Elliot.

[0:30] Exaggerating to the point of untrue.

[0:32] Yeah, the thing is we couldn't plan it because that's right.

[0:36] We're here for Elliot's surprise 40th birthday party.

[0:39] I didn't even know I was turning 40.

[0:41] Yeah.

[0:41] Yeah, we we tricked you.

[0:42] We have slowly been gaslighting you by slowly.

[0:46] I mean your entire life.

[0:47] We have been telling you that your birthday is years back.

[0:52] To find out that I'm actually much younger than I am was really great.

[0:55] Yeah.

[0:55] You thought you were turning 47.

[0:57] Yeah, 47.

[0:57] Yeah.

[0:58] Stewart also decided to surprise Elliot with a treat making him work at his

[1:02] birthday party.

[1:03] Uh-huh.

[1:04] Let's bring some microphones.

[1:07] Well, that was the thing.

[1:08] Stewart's always ABCP always be content producing.

[1:10] Yeah.

[1:11] And I mean, that's the thing.

[1:12] I'm a hustler.

[1:13] I'm into poly work as I've been telling the guys.

[1:16] The only poly work I believe in is we're going to pay all these late fees

[1:19] for my blockbuster rentals of a long game poly.

[1:22] This is a joke.

[1:23] Stewart has been workshopping quite a bit over the weekend.

[1:26] It is.

[1:26] By workshopping, I mean repeating.

[1:29] That was a more polished version.

[1:31] Yeah, yeah.

[1:31] More polished.

[1:33] And I'm carefully watching your faces to gauge the reaction to see if it's

[1:37] getting better or worse over time.

[1:40] For the first time.

[1:40] Making notes.

[1:41] I pretended like it was causing me to have a stroke.

[1:45] Yeah, blood started trickling out of one of your nostrils.

[1:48] Yeah.

[1:50] So, yeah.

[1:50] So this is Elliot's birthday.

[1:52] I'm really happy that we flew out to spend this with you.

[1:56] One of the reasons we're podcasting is because I love podcasting with my

[1:59] friend Elliot and that's what this weekend is all about.

[2:04] Well, yeah, this is something that my wife masterminded, not the podcast

[2:08] recording, but we are all together.

[2:11] It was a surprise to me.

[2:12] I knew that I was going somewhere for my 40th birthday.

[2:14] I didn't know I was going to this beautiful location we're in now and

[2:18] that my friends were flying in from New York City.

[2:20] That's right.

[2:21] Let me hear it.

[2:21] New York.

[2:22] Oh, yeah.

[2:24] I mean, describe the locale that we're in right now.

[2:27] Like, uh-huh.

[2:28] We're like a professional podcast.

[2:29] We're in cyberspace.

[2:32] Yeah, there's laser waves.

[2:34] Special guest Algae Rhythm is here.

[2:36] No, we're in a beautiful sort of Airbnb in the mountains.

[2:41] We're on Topanga Canyons.

[2:42] We're actually kind of on the side of a canyon wall.

[2:45] Yeah, and we're on a deck, you know, partway down a canyon wall with a

[2:50] giant Buddha statue looming over us.

[2:53] Followers of Stuart on social media will be familiar with the number of

[2:59] Buddhas at this house.

[3:00] Oh, man, if you count them all and send in to the flop house care of

[3:04] Dan McCoy, he will send you your prize.

[3:08] Okay.

[3:09] Dan, get a prize.

[3:11] It was spider rings that I bought in bulk.

[3:15] And notice that Stuart didn't say there's one winner.

[3:17] Anyone who counts and sends in gets a prize.

[3:19] Problem with that.

[3:20] For all of Turkey, I think that counting the number of Buddhas in that video

[3:25] is a little easy for a contest.

[3:26] It's not like one of those jars filled with pennies and you're like,

[3:33] how many pennies are in there?

[3:34] If you get it, you get all the pennies.

[3:35] I would also like to say that Stuart is sitting in a way that I would

[3:40] say is reminiscent of Time Cop, where his legs are her splayed wide open.

[3:47] But what's he wearing, Dan?

[3:48] I'm wearing a tiny, I guess that's a Speedo.

[3:52] It's a bathing suit.

[3:53] It's a, well, it's a high cut.

[3:57] Made only more high by the positioning of my legs.

[3:59] By his legs being almost 180 degrees.

[4:03] He's wearing a bolt thrower.

[4:06] Leg bolt thrower t-shirt with a minion on it.

[4:08] With a minion holding a gun and giving a middle finger.

[4:11] Yeah, because he's the war master.

[4:12] He's a badass.

[4:14] Now, from now on when I...

[4:16] And also pink sunglasses.

[4:17] Yeah, my credit from now on whenever I'm on a podcast, not this one,

[4:21] is provocateur.

[4:24] The fact that this morning Stuart was wearing this bolt thrower bootleg shirt

[4:28] and sweatpants, multicolored sweatpants.

[4:30] He said, I'm going to take a shower.

[4:31] He came back wearing the same outfit with a cardigan and more chains.

[4:37] And he did not change his pants, but he changed into a clean pair of sunglasses.

[4:40] I mean, it does give us a nice view of his new beholder tattoo on his upper thigh.

[4:44] Yeah, well, that's me, you know.

[4:46] But that's not what today is about.

[4:48] Today is about Elliot's 40th birthday.

[4:50] I'm glad that my birthday podcast would be mostly about Stuart's clothing and

[4:55] life choices.

[4:55] Now, Elliot, we here at the Flop House do a lot of stuff where we talk about

[5:01] movies.

[5:02] Not normally today.

[5:03] Today, we're normally talking about Buddhas and Stuart.

[5:08] But we...

[5:10] Today, we're...

[5:11] Is that the Buddha, Stuart?

[5:12] I think Stude is the best one.

[5:14] He works too, but then we'll talk about Wes Studi, which is amazing.

[5:17] He's great.

[5:18] Yeah, he's a cherished actor.

[5:19] Now, what have...

[5:21] Now that you're turning 40, what have movies taught you about the looming age

[5:26] of 40?

[5:26] So, that's a good question.

[5:28] Middle age.

[5:28] And this is going to be a very off-the-cuff answer.

[5:30] Because you're dying at 80.

[5:32] I did have that conversation with my mother the other day where I said,

[5:35] I'm not young anymore.

[5:35] And she said, no, you're still young.

[5:37] And I said, I am...

[5:38] This is exactly middle-aged.

[5:40] Like, I'll probably die in my 80s.

[5:42] Maybe I'll make it to my 90s.

[5:43] Or with medical technology, I know my son is planning to live in his

[5:46] thousands.

[5:47] Oh, wow.

[5:48] He was like...

[5:48] He's like, I hope I make it to triple digits and then quadruple digits.

[5:51] And I was like, well, no one has ever done that.

[5:53] I'm not sure that the singularity is going to be reached by the time.

[5:55] I like the chilling tone in his voice where he's like, I'm living forever,

[6:01] daddy.

[6:02] Now, once I learn how to absorb life force.

[6:03] No matter the cost.

[6:06] But so, movies have taught me that 40 is...

[6:09] I mean, growing up, 40 was just considered old.

[6:11] It was just, when you were 40, you were old.

[6:14] You were essentially...

[6:15] You might as well be 70 when you're 40.

[6:19] And I found that my life experiences, if anything, the exact opposite of that.

[6:24] Where it's...

[6:25] Or that movies will teach you that at 40 is when men are like, what did I do

[6:29] with my life?

[6:30] Like, why am I not in my 20s?

[6:31] I got to change everything and get back to...

[6:33] I've got to erase all the progress I've made in my life and go back to being

[6:36] a dumb kid.

[6:37] And I found that I don't want to do that.

[6:39] That's an overwhelming urge that I think I know Dan and I feel.

[6:42] So, it's nice to know that you don't feel that way.

[6:44] It's very strange.

[6:45] I remember walking down when I was living in Germany in my early 20s.

[6:49] I remember walking down the street and passing a head shop, which were

[6:52] plentiful at the time.

[6:53] And seeing in the window...

[6:55] That's where you would get eight heads, put them in a duffel bag, take them home.

[6:59] And you would...

[7:00] And I remember looking in the window and they had all these novelty t-shirts

[7:04] that you would get somebody for their birthday.

[7:06] And they had different ages on them.

[7:07] And my favorite one was the one that said,

[7:10] Ich bin 40 Jahre alt und fühle mich cool, man.

[7:14] Which meant is, I'm 40 years old and I feel cool, man.

[7:18] And I'm like, if I turn 40, kill me.

[7:20] That is the most German novelty shirt.

[7:23] Yes.

[7:23] There's no real joke to it.

[7:25] It's just like an attitude.

[7:27] Yeah, exactly.

[7:28] I mean, the idea that anybody would feel cool is joke enough.

[7:32] Yeah, yeah.

[7:33] But yeah, how is...

[7:34] Wait, hold on.

[7:35] So if you didn't feel that way, how did your midlife crisis manifest itself,

[7:40] Elliot?

[7:40] Because this is an interesting...

[7:42] I haven't had one yet.

[7:43] I'm waiting for it to kick in.

[7:44] But I find...

[7:45] I mean, this is not going to be the most interesting answer to a podcast question.

[7:47] Cars or gambling, do you think?

[7:48] What do you think, Gabe?

[7:49] Well, the thing is that, like, I know people want to hear is confessions of

[7:53] misdeeds or like unhappiness.

[7:54] That's what a lot of podcasting is.

[7:56] But like, I have been thinking about this a lot in the year leading up to this

[7:59] because it was not a surprise I was turning 40.

[8:01] I did the math.

[8:02] And when I was 39, I was like, wait a minute.

[8:03] What comes next?

[8:04] No, but I think about I'm pretty much exactly in my life where I would want to

[8:10] be at age 40.

[8:12] And so, like, I have a...

[8:14] I love my wife and I want to be with her forever.

[8:17] I have two kids that I love who...

[8:19] And I don't want more kids than that.

[8:20] And we have a nice house that we live in.

[8:24] I've been able to support my family writing jokes for dogs.

[8:27] Like, so it's...

[8:28] I'm living a number of...

[8:30] Well, actors playing dogs.

[8:31] Actors playing dogs.

[8:32] Let's make it clear that you aren't a facts list for like Lassie.

[8:37] Yeah, you're not.

[8:38] And you're not dragging the performers.

[8:40] No, no, no, not at all.

[8:41] They're playing animals.

[8:42] So what you're saying is that it's only down from here.

[8:45] So you're setting yourself up for a fall.

[8:47] I mean, that's one way to put it.

[8:49] I prefer to think...

[8:49] And then the inevitable revenge redemption arc that you're going to have.

[8:53] Yeah, yeah, sure.

[8:54] Yeah, sure.

[8:54] No, it's more like the...

[8:55] You took this dog show away from me.

[8:57] Now you have to pay.

[8:59] But it's going to be like pig and I'm just going to make you an amazing meal.

[9:02] Oh my God.

[9:02] Oh, if only.

[9:03] Yeah.

[9:04] Pig, watch it.

[9:04] Best movie of the year.

[9:05] I don't know about...

[9:06] Well, it's really good.

[9:06] I don't know about that.

[9:07] But the...

[9:08] I didn't see that many movies this year.

[9:10] The...

[9:11] What was I going to say?

[9:12] No, I feel like each decade of my life has been better than the previous one.

[9:16] I did not like being a child.

[9:18] I did not like being my teen...

[9:19] My teens were the worst.

[9:20] That was...

[9:20] I didn't like that at all.

[9:21] And my 20s were fine.

[9:23] And my 30s were better.

[9:24] And now I'm like...

[9:25] I'm excited about my 40s.

[9:26] But what movies would taught me is that once you get to 40, you might...

[9:30] You either have to restart like you're the DC fucking universe and just reboot everything.

[9:35] Or you just keep...

[9:36] Or you're just like getting ready to be old, you know?

[9:39] I mean, I actually think that that's pretty close to true for me as well.

[9:44] But that didn't stop me from having a lot of emotional pain that I then needed to be like,

[9:50] Oh, okay.

[9:51] Wait, hold on.

[9:52] My problem, I need to figure out these emotions that are inside me and where to...

[10:00] put them, and what to do to deal with them. That was a thing I wasn't taught for some

[10:04] reason.

[10:05] Yeah, yeah.

[10:06] It seems important.

[10:07] Yeah, but you were taught how to do a lot about the periodic table, right?

[10:11] I was taught it, but I forgot it.

[10:13] Oh boy, so even that's...

[10:14] Oh my God, we brought you along for the chemistry day.

[10:16] Oh no.

[10:17] Yeah, no, I'm the same way. I feel like, other than like having to reconcile 40-year-old

[10:22] Stewart with the 30-year-old Stewart, 20-year-old Stewart, and 10-year-old Stewart, they're

[10:26] all living inside my brain at all times.

[10:28] Like Herman's head, yeah.

[10:29] Exactly, and you know, it's just as funny. Hopefully it doesn't get canceled soon.

[10:35] I mean, Herman's head ran for at least two seasons, right?

[10:37] That's great.

[10:38] Whoa!

[10:39] Oh no, it's okay. I just spilled coffee on the...

[10:41] The news that...

[10:42] Hopefully there's no one beneath this deck.

[10:43] The news that Herman's head ran more than one season was so shocking for Stewart that

[10:46] he spilled his coffee all over.

[10:48] Everything's ruined.

[10:49] Are we having...

[10:50] He's like, but how could one woman be on The Simpsons and Herman's head in the same night

[10:56] for more than a season? You'd destroy a mortal human.

[10:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is this, Jim Carrey in the 90s? She has to draw all those pictures

[11:03] of Lisa?

[11:04] I don't think Dan... Dan, I gotta explain how television shows work.

[11:08] I feel like we're having like, we came here and we sat in front of a Buddha and suddenly

[11:13] we're having an emotional encounter group.

[11:14] Well, this is, I mean, this is a very... This is the other thing you do in movies when you're

[11:18] 40, which is that you do like big chill type stuff. I guess they're in their 30s in the

[11:21] big chill, right? But like, that's when you're like, hey, it's time for...

[11:24] It seemed like old as hell when I used to look at the big chill poster that was on my

[11:28] parents' basement wall all the time while I was growing up.

[11:32] Yeah. I mean, well, they were particular...

[11:33] I still never seen it.

[11:35] I feel like our parents were particularly old, 30, although actually our grandparents'

[11:39] generation, when you were in your 30s, you were already, you were in, you might as well

[11:42] have been in your 50s. But, uh, the, but there's that, that is, does feel like that's the thing

[11:46] you do. So you get together with your friends and like, talk about your life and like, what's

[11:50] going on and where you've been, you know, what you have to do.

[11:52] I was early.

[11:54] Luckily, we do that every two weeks.

[11:56] Yeah, that's true.

[11:57] So we don't have to do that right now here, guys.

[11:59] But the earlier in the day, my friend Brock Mahan, who's also here with us, I hoped he

[12:04] would be a special guest, but he saw this microphone coming out and immediately booked

[12:07] it for some other place to be, leaving a Brock shaped cloud of dust.

[12:13] He and I went to college together and we did briefly talk about which of our college

[12:16] classmates we still keep in touch with.

[12:18] And I was like, this is the kind of thing people in their 40s do.

[12:20] Yeah, they reminisce about who they keep in touch with from college, because otherwise

[12:24] most of our talk, talk so far this weekend has been about like the same stuff we talk

[12:28] about the podcast, just like movies and dumb stuff.

[12:30] Yeah, we're like, oh, it's really misty out.

[12:32] I guess we're going to talk about the fog, like misty for me.

[12:35] Yeah, we talked about Pepe Le Pew for a while earlier for some reason.

[12:39] Dan was like, I don't think you should be canceled.

[12:41] He's like, OK, he's got a big heart.

[12:46] This game that we play.

[12:47] It's a crime to love too much.

[12:48] We try and get Dan in trouble.

[12:50] No, we all agree that he's not a good character and not not just problematic, but just a dumb

[12:55] bad character.

[12:56] It was funny.

[12:57] Also, Elliot's brother, David, the famous David, last name withheld.

[13:00] Kalen was here here briefly.

[13:02] And I told him earlier what a pleasure it was because I realized, like, I'm the youngest

[13:06] and I had never had in your family, in my family, in my family.

[13:12] I'm the youngest brother.

[13:13] It's not like a children of man.

[13:14] Dan was the last one born.

[13:16] And so he's famous now.

[13:17] And so I never had the pleasure of like bullying, like a younger sibling or a friend of a younger

[13:23] sibling. But with David around, we could all gang up against him rather than the usual,

[13:27] which is you two getting up against me.

[13:29] Yeah, I'm glad that that was like a fantasy camp for you for a little bit.

[13:32] Well, it's also because David has a tendency to just like throw himself into the conversation.

[13:37] And I'm like, oh, he's going to talk about fucking cinnamon.

[13:41] He was talking about how much he loved cinnamon as a spice.

[13:44] I think that's the kind of personal information he doesn't want to reveal.

[13:46] And this is my fucking hair turned whiter as he kept talking.

[13:51] But it's also something like I've known him for 36 years.

[13:55] I was this was news to me that he was such a big fan of cinema.

[13:59] I was like, like, so I'm still learning things about my family members.

[14:01] This is great.

[14:07] This week on Tights and Fights, Austin Creed, better known as WWE superstar

[14:12] Xavier Woods, unbalancing his many passions.

[14:16] This dude actually wants these ridiculous things.

[14:19] He wants to wear a crown.

[14:20] He wants to be at G4.

[14:21] He wants to have a yacht rock band like he wants to DJ at a festival one day.

[14:26] WWE and G4's Austin Creed on Tights and Fights.

[14:31] Find it on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

[14:36] Hello, I'm Riley Smurl.

[14:38] I'm Sydney McElroy.

[14:39] And I'm Taylor Smurl.

[14:41] And we host Still Buffering, a cross-generational guide

[14:43] to the culture that made us.

[14:45] Every week, we share media that made us who we are.

[14:48] Things like Archie Comics, Sailor Moon.

[14:52] And lots of Taylor Swift.

[14:54] And now that Riley's an adult, it comes with 100% more butts.

[14:58] And now I am totally comfortable with it.

[15:01] So check out new episodes of Still Buffering every Thursday

[15:05] on MaximumFun.org.

[15:07] Butts, butts, butts.

[15:08] Join in, Riley.

[15:09] Butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts.

[15:18] Let's get back to something about movies so people aren't totally upset by this.

[15:24] What are things about what did what did movies teach you about?

[15:26] Yeah, growing up and being grownups, basically.

[15:28] Oh, jeez.

[15:29] I mean, because movies do teach you that being growing up is bad.

[15:33] Like you look at a movie like Hook and that's just one movie.

[15:35] But the message of that movie is like,

[15:37] this man shouldn't put any time into his job.

[15:40] He should be a kid who gets into food fights.

[15:41] I mean, I think it was I think I'm plagiarizing

[15:47] mutual friend Matt Bird when I say that I feel like a movie like Highlander

[15:50] taught me that part of growing up is going to wrestling shows by yourself

[15:54] and then going to live in the antique shop that you own and live above.

[15:57] Yeah. Well, the movie This Is 40 taught me that when I was 40,

[16:02] I would have no real problems, but I would make like a two plus hour movie about it.

[16:07] Yeah, it would be a lot of you just like goofing around.

[16:10] Yeah. Yeah.

[16:10] The but it's true that movies did teach me.

[16:13] I mean, I there's a there's a book out called Never Can Say Goodbye,

[16:18] where I have an essay about this, that movies taught me what life is like

[16:21] as a grown up and specifically like what it was like to live as a grown up in New York.

[16:25] And that one of the most exciting parts of Ghostbusters for me as a kid

[16:28] was Dana coming home with her groceries in her apartment

[16:31] and just being like, she has her own apartment.

[16:33] And it's like there's all these people around her.

[16:34] So she's not lonely, but like she could just close the door and put her groceries away.

[16:38] Like that's what a grown up does.

[16:40] You know, and I can only buy two bags of groceries

[16:42] because I have to be able to carry them.

[16:43] I remember there was in my early 20s, there was a brief period of time

[16:47] after my girlfriend broke up with me and moved away before I got.

[16:51] I mean, hey, I'm better off for it, obviously.

[16:54] And I was in the apartment by myself before my new roommate moved in.

[16:59] So I had a few days and it was like the first time I had an entire apartment

[17:03] just for me.

[17:04] And it was like it was it was exactly the same thing where I'm like, whoa,

[17:08] I can do whatever I want.

[17:10] Yeah, this is mine.

[17:12] I mean, not mine, mine. It was the landlords.

[17:14] And no, but I understand. Yeah, you were renting that space.

[17:17] But yeah, so what I'm trying to think, what else movies taught me about growing up?

[17:20] But there's almost there's very few movies that I feel like are about

[17:24] like growing up and being like, yeah, I'm glad I grew up, which is the way I feel.

[17:28] Like I like being an adult much more than I was going to wear suits all the time.

[17:32] And that I would have a lot of opinions about cars

[17:36] and the market and things like that.

[17:39] And I don't try. I'm trying to think like I was.

[17:43] No, I mean, like I have a lot of worries just like in the form of just

[17:48] sort of free floating anxiety.

[17:49] But I'm realizing that like I don't I rarely have like these conceptions

[17:54] of the future, like I'm just like, I don't know.

[17:56] I like I float through life in an eternal presence.

[17:59] I mean, but that's pretty nice.

[18:00] I mean, that's if anyone would agree with you, it's agree with that.

[18:03] It's the Buddha right here.

[18:05] Yeah, there's enormous Buddha.

[18:06] That's that's looking down on us.

[18:08] Is he is he smiling?

[18:09] I don't know. I can't tell. Very cryptic.

[18:11] He's the size. He's the Mona Buddha.

[18:12] Just to give a little context, I would say maybe like two of us

[18:18] would special guest.

[18:20] Two of us being a Buddha sitting on shoulders,

[18:26] being Buddha.

[18:29] Get back. We're being a Buddha.

[18:32] Yeah, I can't. I wonder how much the rooster gets picked up on the.

[18:35] Yeah, if you can hear there's a lot of there's farm animals in the distance.

[18:37] There's a constant. That's the Topanga rooster.

[18:40] Yeah. So, I mean, I'd rather that crow than some some ghost

[18:43] that came back for revenge. That's true.

[18:47] I mean, he is really cool looking.

[18:49] I will say that. Yeah, it's true.

[18:51] I will say growing older is made a little easy by the fact that

[18:54] my generation has decided as a group that we will never let go of the things

[18:58] that we liked as children.

[18:59] So the stuff I liked as a kid still is the dominant pop culture,

[19:03] if anything, more so than it used to when I was a kid.

[19:05] The dominant paradigm.

[19:06] No, that's like especially with the podcast or podcast with the pandemic.

[19:10] Gee, I'm like equating a wonderful thing and a terrible thing.

[19:14] Yeah, this pandemic has been great.

[19:16] This podcast is a chore.

[19:17] With the pandemic, like even more so than normal,

[19:21] I feel like I've been taking refuge in the most nostalgic

[19:26] like pop culture.

[19:27] You know, like if I if I just want to comfort myself, I find myself

[19:31] looking for something from my youth that I maybe haven't caught yet

[19:36] or something that recaptures the vibe of when I was young.

[19:38] Sure. And so much of my time is like spent obsessing over that

[19:42] and then getting disgusted about and myself for still being in that way.

[19:47] But at this point, the way culture is and there's there's a lot of bad about it.

[19:51] And, you know, I've been reading a lot lately about algorithms

[19:54] and cultural stagnation and nostalgia stagnation.

[19:56] Not just to better understand the motivations of algae, rhythm and space.

[20:00] That's how I got into it. I was like, I want to know more about this guy. Where'd he come from?

[20:03] But, uh, that it's that they're like, it's hard for me to go a day without seeing a picture of

[20:08] Spider-Man and that's not in my house. That's outside in the world. There's just Spider-Man

[20:12] everywhere. And the fact that I go to work and my, and my coworkers are like, Elliot,

[20:16] can you explain this thing about Dune to us? And I'm like, did I make a wish on a monkey?

[20:22] This is my dream, but at the same time, it's a little bit of a curse, but yeah,

[20:25] it definitely feels like it's similar to like what growing up, there was the feeling like

[20:29] nerds were the stepped on class. And now that is clearly not the case.

[20:33] Now nerds are the bully class. I mean, nerds as human, as individuals, I'm sure are still

[20:37] stepped on, but that, but that nerd culture is now the bully culture that is,

[20:42] that is hitting the rest of the world and saying, why are you hitting yourself?

[20:47] But, uh, it's, but it's just a, it's a, it makes me wonder about. So in my dad,

[20:51] I remember very well when my dad turned 40 and it was like a big event and it was very

[20:55] like, it seemed very strange and he, you know, it was very like, Oh, I can't believe I'm 40.

[20:59] And I would ask him questions about the stuff I'm interested in and he would not know it. He

[21:03] would tell me all this stuff. He was interested and I wouldn't understand it. But now the stuff

[21:07] I'm interested in, a lot. Well, I mean, with my dad, it was, it was the, the Beatles were up top

[21:13] and then a step below them was Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel. And then a step below that was

[21:17] final countdown by Europe. No other songs by Europe, just final countdown. And, uh, and then

[21:22] there's a, there's kind of floating, uh, cycle of that he would go through of Jethro Tull and Queen

[21:29] and, um, and sticks like that was, so my dad was never really into Steely Dan, but it was

[21:34] associated things. He was way ahead of the curve on Queen. I remember when Wayne's World came out

[21:38] and everybody was suddenly into Bohemian Rhapsody. I was like, you mean my dad's song that we're

[21:42] always listening to, that my dad's always playing. But, uh, the, but it's, I feel like now the things

[21:48] I'm into, many of them are the same as the things my children are into. And so it's, uh, being 40,

[21:53] it doesn't feel as separate and, and farther from youth because it's not like they're talking about.

[21:59] They're not yet old enough to be talking about music acts that I've never heard of. So when

[22:02] they're teenagers, then I'll feel really old, but I'll be in my fifties by then I will be old.

[22:07] I mean, I guess that was going to be my follow-up is, uh, looking forward 10 years,

[22:11] what do you, uh, what do you expect your 50th birthday to look like?

[22:14] I think it'll go a little something like this. Can you guys see the fantasy in my mind?

[22:21] Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, no. I think, I mean, I imagine my life will be, I mean,

[22:30] one thing that will be different from my past birthdays is I own my own home now,

[22:34] so I'm not going anywhere. So in 10 years, my setting will be the same, but, uh, I think,

[22:39] you know, I'll just have older kids and hopefully I'll have moved higher in my career. But other

[22:43] than that, it'll probably be the same, probably podcasting again. I mean, every, every year I'm

[22:49] like, we're still doing this podcast. How long are we going to go with this? And no one's told

[22:52] us to stop. So I feel like that's the main reason we're still doing it. It's because nobody, like

[22:59] nobody has told us to stop doing it. And we're like, okay, I guess we're going to meet every

[23:02] two weeks. I mean, it's one of those, please don't tell us to stop doing this by the way,

[23:06] because I count on the income for currently just tweet at us with the hashtag. I mean,

[23:11] I guess if I wanted to see somebody telling me to stop doing it, I'd just go to like Reddit or

[23:15] some shit. Yeah. I think the, um, I think that, uh, one of the, I haven't listened to old episodes

[23:21] of this podcast in a while. I don't recommend people necessarily going back and doing that,

[23:24] but like one of the things that I always loved about old movies is that because they were old,

[23:29] I could see that I could see the performers aging. I didn't have to wait. I'm going to,

[23:32] I'm not went to, by the time Timothee Chalamet is an old man, I'll be dead. So I'm not going

[23:35] to see what that's like. Is he going to look kind of weird the way that Leonardo Caprio

[23:39] looks kind of weird? Like, I mean, every, it just looks like a man who's aged and gotten a little

[23:42] rounder. I don't know if he's Latin weird. No, but I mean, like, I don't know. It's like a man

[23:46] who is his age, Leonardo Caprio, who I like as an actor and many things, but I feel like,

[23:51] but you like him even more as a celebrity. But no, but no, but like, I feel like if he had not

[23:59] been a star when he was younger, I don't know if he would have, he would have been

[24:02] picked to be a star now. I don't know that he would be a movie opening star, but he,

[24:07] if he had not been a beautiful young man that people took to, but he would still be

[24:11] a very well-respected and employed actor, you know, but I feel like if he's, he reminds me of

[24:19] not quite the exact same, but a little bit like Colin Farrell, where it was like the older he

[24:22] gets and the less people are distracted by his looks, the better he gets to, the more interesting

[24:27] things he gets to do as an actor, you know, well, or, but then like, you look at somebody like George

[24:32] Clooney, who didn't really become famous, famous until he was already in his thirties or almost

[24:37] middle age. Yeah. Uh, but he had been acting at, you know, on baby talk and facts of life return

[24:42] to the killer tomatoes and grizzly, right. Or, and, uh, he, in the, in the TV mini series of

[24:50] centennial, I believe he plays a guy carrying a barrel at one point. Wow. Is that, was that

[24:56] his credit or no, I think the credit is man carrying the thread. Was there a question

[25:01] originally that we got Leonardo DiCaprio? I think Stuart was trying to rag on Leonardo DiCaprio.

[25:06] Well, I'm trying to nag Leo. So he calls me up. He's like, Hey, you want to come hang out

[25:09] on my yard? I'm like, I don't know. This seems creepy, but I'm still nagging him. That's the

[25:15] thing. It's a long game, but I was saying that it's a very long game. It's a, I was saying that,

[25:20] uh, I, one thing that's interesting to me, if I ever go back and listen to it is that this podcast

[25:25] has been such a document of how our lives have changed since, you know, since we were in our

[25:28] twenties. And that's something that, again, I have, it's more interesting to me as a, as a

[25:33] concept that exists in the world, that is something I actually want to go back and experience.

[25:36] For the future documentaries that are going to be made about us.

[25:39] For Flopback. You'll have all this rich audio.

[25:42] When we get Yesified.

[25:43] The brain of Peter Jackson in a robot body, who cuts all the footage together,

[25:48] uh, and it's just lots of conversations and things.

[25:51] And I'll be still complaining that the brain of Peter Jackson in a robot body isn't making,

[25:55] uh, homemade zombie movies and only makes big movies.

[25:58] I mean, but if he made, but he started doing a Silmarillion movie, you'd be excited, right?

[26:02] Yeah. Always. Cause I can't help.

[26:06] So, uh, speaking of being in your forties, my, uh, legs are both, uh, totally asleep.

[26:12] From sitting crisscross applesauce.

[26:14] Yeah. On this thing. Were we going to get people to wish Elliot a happy birthday or?

[26:19] So what we're going to do is we're going to say, thank you for listening, everybody.

[26:23] Uh, thank you for the 40 years of following Elliot.

[26:25] Hey, Kaelin, it's really important to us.

[26:26] I mean, I've been up there following you since I was born.

[26:28] Um, so where.

[26:29] It reminds me of, wait, so this is something, so it reminds me of, this is, uh, uh, something I,

[26:33] I think I have.

[26:34] Just roll over in line, you're Tommy.

[26:36] I think I have on video somewhere, but I'm not sure.

[26:38] When I had my, when I had.

[26:40] That's only partially, yeah.

[26:41] When I had my, when I turned 25 and I did a comedy show that was celebrating 25 years of Kaelin

[26:47] and John Oliver came and delivered a eulogy.

[26:50] And so I had a thing that was like, well, I was like, let me see what happened in the 25 years.

[26:55] I was alive.

[26:55] And I'd cut together a montage of like new Coke and et or whatever.

[26:59] And then it was like, it was like Jesse Owens winning at the 36 Olympics.

[27:03] And then, and then it, and it ended with, with my name and the dates, 1981 to 2006.

[27:08] And then, uh, and then John Oliver came up and delivered a eulogy for me.

[27:11] And I was like, but I'm not dead.

[27:12] And he was like, don't make this any harder than it already is.

[27:16] But, uh, this is what this reminds me of.

[27:17] So let's, uh, let's wish Elliot a happy birthday.

[27:20] Everybody happy birthday.

[27:27] Happy birthday.

[27:31] Hopefully the mics pick that up.

[27:33] I mean, they're walking over now.

[27:34] Slowly.

[27:34] I'll paint a word picture.

[27:36] We're still in this deck.

[27:38] Now the significant, significant others of two of the hosts are right.

[27:42] Yeah.

[27:42] Just take the microphone from Dan who is up.

[27:45] That one's not plugged in.

[27:47] Yeah.

[27:47] You might want to take that mic from Dan.

[27:48] So he doesn't joke on the bike for me.

[27:49] This is Audrey.

[27:50] Hello, Audrey.

[27:53] Hi.

[27:53] Hi, everybody.

[27:55] Hi, Elliot.

[27:55] Happy birthday.

[27:56] Oh, thanks.

[27:59] Happy birthday, Elliot.

[28:01] Thank you to you and your wife for inviting us to this beautiful house and letting us

[28:05] spend your 40th birthday with you.

[28:07] Oh, no problem.

[28:08] My pleasure.

[28:08] I like how this went from a podcast to just like the video that you watch from your wedding.

[28:14] Hey, happy birthday, Elliot.

[28:16] I'm honored to be here.

[28:20] It's really nice listening to this mini get taped.

[28:25] As you tried to relax below us on a different deck.

[28:27] Yeah.

[28:27] Did I spill coffee on you?

[28:29] No, you hit Buddha.

[28:31] Oh, no, poor Buddha.

[28:32] Yeah.

[28:32] Lounging Buddha's got a puddle of Keurig coffee, where his mystical sphere should be.

[28:38] They do say when you meet the Buddha on the road, poor coffee on him.

[28:44] No.

[28:45] But yeah, I'm really happy that we can spend this time celebrating.

[28:51] Oh, thank you.

[28:51] 40 years of Elliot Gatlin.

[28:52] It's especially special not to not to throw shade on any of you guys, especially here

[28:55] from Brock, who is I've known longer than anyone else here.

[28:58] I mean, now that my brother's not with us.

[28:59] Why are you looking directly at me while you're sitting behind me?

[29:03] I can't do anything about not knowing you sooner, Elliot.

[29:06] I'm sorry.

[29:07] Yeah.

[29:08] Thanks.

[29:08] But Brock is my, I think, third oldest friend that I'm still in touch with.

[29:13] I'm pretty sure if you work a little harder, you can get to number two.

[29:17] Just go after my college roommate, Brian, and he's number two.

[29:22] Number one, you never know.

[29:23] I know who I have to take out.

[29:25] To move up the ranks.

[29:26] Elliot, just for research.

[29:28] Oh, boy.

[29:28] Okay.

[29:29] Well, there's but yeah, so I've been that I've known you guys for a long, long time.

[29:34] I've known you guys for what?

[29:36] Almost 20 years, 16 or so years, 17 years.

[29:40] I mean, and I've known Brock for 20 years or 22 years.

[29:46] So yeah, that's right.

[29:47] So it's great to be with people that I care so much about.

[29:51] And I know so much.

[29:51] And I've known for so long and feel so close to my wife, of course, is somewhere else right

[29:55] now, or I would I would include her in that certainly, you know, I haven't known her as

[29:59] long as I've known you.

[30:00] so from us to you thank you so much for listening this is a product of maximum

[30:05] fun don't hold them accountable thank you to Alexander Smith for probably

[30:10] putting a little bit of editing juice on this but Alex make sure whenever it's

[30:15] getting too slow or two or two real just put up yeah yeah yeah yes I think this

[30:23] is Stuart is this just so you can write off this trip I mean you can do it now

[30:30] okay bye

[30:38] maximum fun org comedy and culture artists owned audience supported

FH Mini 45 - Live from Elliott's 40th

Transcript

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