FH Mini 46 - Missed that Movie! Georgia Rule, with Jordan Crucchiola

Dan McCoy

[0:00] Hey y'all, before we get to this week's show, just a content warning.

[0:06] There's discussions of sexual assault that took us, the Flophouse, by surprise, so we

[0:12] don't want them to take you by surprise as the listener.

[0:18] Yeah, and apologies, an earlier version of this episode went up with a content warning,

[0:25] but it was just in the show notes, which I know a lot of you don't read, so I wanted

[0:29] to throw this one up there that has it just front and center.

[0:35] If you can be prepared to listen to it, I think it's still a great show with a great guest

[0:42] in Jordan, but we didn't really know some of the more dark places that this would go, so

[0:51] we wanted you all to be prepared.

[0:54] Thanks.

[0:54] Bye.

[0:59] Hi, everyone.

[1:00] Welcome to the Flophouse.

[1:01] I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:02] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:04] I'm Elliot Kalin, still against all odds.

[1:07] And, you know, the premise of the show started out as, let's talk about bad movies.

[1:13] Yeah, let's dig back into prehistory, shall we?

[1:15] And now every other week we've been doing minisodes, minisodes, Flophouse minis that have often

[1:24] been as long as other shows, which really confuse the premise, especially because there's no

[1:28] particular rhyme nor reason to the topics of the Flophouse minis.

[1:34] And let's keep it going.

[1:36] Tonight we have a guest.

[1:39] Slawless introduction.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40] You stated the thesis, you confused the thesis, and then you discarded the thesis.

[1:44] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[1:45] The classic essay structure.

[1:48] Tonight we have a guest, a writer and producer, Jordan Cruciola, who is from, I'm sorry, did I

[1:55] put too much spin on that last name?

S3

[1:56] No, you got it.

[1:57] There's not too much mustard on that at all.

[1:59] Okay, thank you.

Dan McCoy

[2:01] Of the Feeling Scene podcast on the MaxFun Network, among many other things, and she is here to

[2:10] talk about a topic of her own suggestion.

[2:14] Jordan, what did you want to speak with us about today?

S3

[2:17] I am here to attempt, to attempt to convey to you all the movie Georgia Rule, directed by

[2:31] Gary Marshall, starring Felicity Huffman, Lindsay Lohan, and Dermot Mulroney.

[2:41] No, no, no, the guy who's not Dermot Mulroney.

[2:43] No, according to Wikipedia.

[2:44] Dermot Mulroney.

[2:46] No, you're right, it's Dermot Mulroney, because it's not Dylan McDermott, and Jane Fonda,

[2:51] and Garrett Hedlund, inexplicably, from the year, I believe, 2012.

Elliott Kalan

[2:59] I mean, it's multiple generations of acting legends, Dermot Mulroney, Garrett Hedlund,

[3:04] no one else.

[3:05] Of the Mulroney dynasty.

Dan McCoy

[3:08] And now this is Gary Marshall of the-

S3

[3:10] I'm sorry, this is, I was so wrong.

[3:12] This is 2000, oh my god, 2007, even better.

[3:17] We are in the thriving heyday of the aughts, 2007.

Elliott Kalan

[3:22] Mm-hmm.

[3:22] And this is Gary Marshall of the holiday movies, right?

S3

[3:26] This is Gary Marshall of the holiday movies, of Pretty Woman, of Overboard, of, like, iconic fame, Gary Marshall.

[3:35] Uh-huh.

Elliott Kalan

[3:36] Yeah.

[3:37] It's amazing how he's a director of so many movies, and yet, as a director, I still like him best as the casino owner in Lost in America.

[3:43] Yes.

[3:44] It's still my favorite thing he's ever done.

[3:46] Excellent, excellent.

Dan McCoy

[3:48] Now, this is a movie that we established none of the hosts of the Flophouse, the three of us, have seen.

[3:58] And, you know, we kept it that way, even though you were coming on to talk about it.

[4:04] Because I think something, aside from laziness, something appealed to us about, you know, sort of having to try and grapple with this thing that exists only in our minds.

[4:15] Yeah.

[4:16] And, Jordan, what is it about this movie that made you specifically want to highlight it?

S3

[4:23] Well, I'm wondering if any of you ever, if you remember the trailer for, or if you've seen the trailer for this movie.

Dan McCoy

[4:31] I have no idea what this movie, like, Georgia Rule, I, I, brings to mind.

S3

[4:36] Is it possible, is it possible to, we don't have to, but is it possible to request of each of you that you watch the trailer right now and have that as a foundation?

Elliott Kalan

[4:44] I think it seems to, I mean.

[4:46] That's easily accomplished.

[4:47] Let's do it.

[4:48] Let's keep recording while we watch it.

[4:50] Yeah.

[4:50] We have to sync up.

S3

[4:51] Just give you, just give yourselves, like, you know, the minute and a half, two minutes to watch this so that I can tell you what we're here for.

Elliott Kalan

[4:58] Okay.

[4:59] So, they're on, so on YouTube, there's a two and a half minute trailer.

[5:06] Goodness.

[5:07] Just says, if it says, Georgia Rule official trailer, number one, Hector Elizondo movie.

[5:11] Yeah, go for that one.

Dan McCoy

[5:12] It's weird that Hector Elizondo not mentioned before this.

Stuart Wellington

[5:15] Should I not click on Georgia Rule full movie?

[5:18] No.

Dan McCoy

[5:20] Always a scam.

S3

[5:21] I mean, we can live watch and mystery science theater this.

Dan McCoy

[5:24] No, exactly.

[5:24] Oh, the first, the first comment.

S3

[5:26] Yeah, go for the Hector Elizondo one.

[5:27] That was the one I refreshed myself with earlier.

Dan McCoy

[5:29] A tragically underrated movie that is too often mistaken by the less attentive.

[5:33] Yeah, don't read that.

[5:34] Don't read that.

[5:35] Don't read that.

S3

[5:36] No, you have to, don't read that.

[5:37] Don't read any details about this.

[5:38] Okay.

[5:39] Don't get any more information yet.

[5:41] Just watch the trailer.

[5:41] Okay, guys.

Dan McCoy

[5:42] Are we ready?

[5:42] Are we going to do this all at the same time?

[5:44] Let's do it all at the same time.

[5:46] Let's try and experiment so that the audience can also sync up and maybe and watch.

Elliott Kalan

[5:52] Yeah, audience, look up Georgia Rule official trailer, number one, Hector Elizondo movie, 2007 HD.

[5:56] Yeah, Hector Elizondo movie, yeah.

[5:57] Okay.

[5:58] And yeah, just sync it up with this part and then get Dark Side of the Moon and then start,

[6:03] don't start playing it until we press play.

[6:04] Yeah.

[6:05] Because it syncs up perfectly with the trailer.

S3

[6:06] And then if you started at this moment, we can say Happy New Year at this time.

Dan McCoy

[6:11] I'm going to do a countdown and I'm going to, I'm going to do three numbers.

[6:16] You can probably guess which one.

[6:18] And then I'm going to say go.

[6:20] And let's all click when I say go.

[6:22] How about that?

[6:23] You just said go.

[6:24] Should I have clicked?

[6:24] No, no, no, no, no.

[6:25] Okay.

[6:26] Let's do it.

[6:27] In three, two, one, go.

[6:34] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[6:35] So it's rated R for sexual content and some language.

[6:39] No.

[6:42] Wait a minute.

[6:43] So Jane Fonda's character's name is Georgia?

[6:49] Yes, Georgia Rule.

[6:50] Okay.

[6:51] So they said the Georgia Rule.

[6:52] The rule is Georgia Rule.

[6:53] Now, the Georgia Rule was a card playing rule.

[6:56] But is it related to other things also?

S3

[6:57] It's pretty multi-purpose, the Georgia Rule.

[6:59] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[7:00] Oh, Georgia's always made the rules, they said.

[7:03] Carrie Elwes.

[7:04] Yeah, Carrie Elwes just got hit with a baseball bat.

[7:07] Mm-hmm.

[7:08] I'll explain that.

Stuart Wellington

[7:12] Wait, a castle for Christmases?

[7:14] Carrie Elwes?

[7:17] The one and only.

Elliott Kalan

[7:19] So, so far we've seen Jane Fonda tell Felicity Huffman to attack Carrie Elwes with a knife,

[7:23] and then Lindsay Lohan threw a drink on a car.

Dan McCoy

[7:28] People keep saying Georgia Rule.

Elliott Kalan

[7:30] Yeah.

[7:31] But each time it's a different rule, though.

[7:33] Yeah.

[7:33] It should be Georgia Rules, but I guess they would have thought people would be like.

[7:35] Georgia Rule TM.

[7:36] Georgia Rules.

[7:38] Dr. Simon Ward.

[7:40] Yeah, so Lindsay Lohan's not getting a job at a veterinarian, so they ripped off Schitt's

[7:44] Creek years ahead of Schitt's Creek.

[7:45] Mm-hmm.

[7:46] Mm-hmm.

[7:49] Okay.

[7:50] Everyone's spying on them, gardening, they're wrestling on the lawn.

[7:55] She says Georgia Rule again.

[7:56] No fighting is a Georgia Rule.

Dan McCoy

[7:58] It is, it was down in the street for that one.

Elliott Kalan

[8:00] This trailer, we're a minute and a half in, and already Georgia has said so many different

[8:05] rules.

[8:06] I don't know which one is the Georgia Rule.

S3

[8:08] You can see why Felicity Huffman had to flee her mother.

[8:11] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[8:12] Oh, there's drinking going on.

[8:18] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[8:21] Here's Dermot making out with Felicity.

[8:23] And Dermot are knocking over trophies as they make out.

[8:26] Mm-hmm.

[8:27] Uh-huh.

[8:28] Those trophies were earned by making out.

[8:32] He won the making out competition, regional finals.

[8:34] Silver Fox, that man.

[8:36] He could have gone all the way national, but.

[8:38] Okay.

[8:38] Jane Fonda's in it.

[8:40] Lindsay Lohan.

[8:40] A lot of hats.

[8:41] And Felicity Huffman.

[8:45] Okay.

[8:46] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[8:46] A woman called Lindsay Lohan a slut.

[8:52] Oh, Lindsay Lohan.

[8:52] And then she used, and Lindsay Lohan used a curse word, but there was a car that honked when

[8:56] she said the curse word part.

S3

[8:57] That is a sincerely funny scene.

[8:59] Okay.

[9:01] Well.

Elliott Kalan

[9:02] So it says coming soon at the end.

[9:04] Is that true?

[9:04] Georgia Rule.

[9:04] Is it still coming soon?

S3

[9:07] Yeah.

[9:07] I mean, undiscovered as it is, it could be coming soon to the homes of many people near this podcast,

[9:14] I hope.

[9:15] So here's my understanding.

Elliott Kalan

[9:16] Yeah.

[9:16] Dan, are you going to try to figure out what the plot is from the trailer?

Dan McCoy

[9:19] I was going to try, I intuit that you as well were going to sort of.

[9:24] Yeah, but you do go first.

[9:25] Go ahead.

[9:26] It seems to be some sort of multi-generational rom-com.

[9:31] And I think that maybe Felicity Huffman or perhaps Jane Fonda or perhaps both have some

[9:38] sort of issues with alcohol.

[9:39] That's what I have sort of intuited.

Elliott Kalan

[9:43] So my guess is Lindsay Lohan is Felicity Huffman's daughter and Felicity Huffman is Jane Fonda's

[9:49] daughter.

[9:49] Correct.

[9:50] Which would make Jane Fonda Lindsay Lohan's grandmother.

[9:53] Yes.

[9:54] And Jane Fonda's always like, I got these rules.

[9:56] Here's my rule.

[9:57] That's my rule.

[9:57] And Lindsay Lohan seems to be a troublemaker as seen by the fact that she's expressed a

[10:02] healthy sexual interest in a man in the trailer.

[10:05] And none of the shirts she owns have midriffs.

[10:08] Yeah, that's a problem.

Dan McCoy

[10:09] We can credit 2007 for that for sure.

Elliott Kalan

[10:12] And Felicity Huffman, I guess, here's my guess.

[10:16] Okay.

[10:16] She fled town because she had trouble with her mom and she couldn't make it there.

[10:19] She had to go to the big city.

[10:20] She raised Lindsay Lohan.

[10:21] Maybe either doesn't have a husband.

[10:23] Maybe it was a sperm donor situation.

[10:25] Or maybe she adopted Lindsay Lohan.

[10:27] Maybe Lindsay Lohan was dropped off at her.

[10:28] Maybe midichlorians.

[10:29] Yeah.

[10:30] Maybe it's midichlorians.

[10:31] Maybe it's midichlorians.

[10:32] Yeah.

[10:33] Using the wisdom of Darth Plagueis, Felicity Huffman was able to create Lindsay Lohan at her

[10:38] own blood.

Dan McCoy

[10:39] Like a basic, the man left situation.

Elliott Kalan

[10:42] I guess we saw Carrie always.

[10:44] So is he the guy, so is he, so not having been able to figure out a lot of the trailer,

[10:49] I assumed he was like a salesman who, but maybe he's a husband.

S3

[10:53] He's the husband.

[10:54] Okay.

[10:54] He is the husband of Felicity Huffman's character.

Elliott Kalan

[10:58] Okay.

[10:58] And they don't, and Jane Fonda doesn't like him, which is why she hit him with a baseball

[11:01] bat.

S3

[11:04] There's, see, and here's the thing is, all these things are like, you guys have just described

[11:08] the movie that was advertised to you.

[11:10] Okay.

[11:11] Sure.

[11:11] Here's the thing.

[11:12] Here's the thing about this movie that like, it's like, it's like, it's like, did you love

[11:17] the fish out of water story that was overboard?

[11:20] Did you like the surprising rom-com that was Pretty Woman?

[11:25] We are going to add boner jokes to that and give you Georgia Rule.

[11:30] Where?

[11:32] The secret plot point.

[11:35] When this trailer says, the things that tear us apart, what they are referring to is the

[11:44] bombshell that Lindsay Lohan's character drops about a third of the way into the movie.

[11:48] That she's a Wendigo.

[11:50] That she has been chronically raped by her stepfather since she was 12 years old.

[11:56] Yikes.

[11:56] What?

[11:57] That doesn't.

[11:58] The underpinning of Georgia Rule, the movie you just watched a trailer for, is that Lindsay

[12:04] Lohan's character is a ruckus and a rebel and her mom and her stepdad just can't take

[12:08] it anymore.

[12:09] So Felicity Huffin's going to ship her off for the summer to Idaho to go be with her horrible

[12:13] harpy, bitch of a mother, Jane Fonda, who she had to flee from as a teenager because she

[12:18] was simply too restrictive and never said, I love you.

[12:21] So Lindsay's getting a reform school summer with her grandma.

[12:24] And when we are there, Lindsay Lohan's character confronts Dermot Mulroney's who has tragically

[12:29] lost his wife and child two years ago in a horrible accident.

[12:33] And she's like, you know what?

[12:34] We've all got shit to deal with.

[12:36] We get it.

[12:36] You're fucking sad.

[12:37] Your wife and baby died.

[12:39] You need to move on.

[12:40] And you're like, what the fuck are you doing, Lindsay Lohan?

[12:43] And he's like, what do you know about survival?

[12:46] You don't know a goddamn thing.

[12:47] At which point at the 4th of July parade in Hull, Idaho, Lindsay Lohan over barbecued burgers looks

[12:54] at him and says, my stepdad started having sex with me when I was 12 years old.

[13:00] Now this.

[13:01] And you're like, what fucking movie are we in right now?

Elliott Kalan

[13:08] It definitely sounds like less of a romp.

S3

[13:11] That's the thing though.

[13:13] That's the thing though, my friends, is this movie plays it like a romp the entire time.

[13:19] That kicky little Mandy Moore song playing at the end of that trailer where she's ready

[13:24] to feel extraordinary.

[13:26] Like that is the energy of this movie.

[13:30] And so like when you see Jane Fonda running out of the house with a bat beating down Carrie

[13:35] Elwes, it's because she has learned that her granddaughter is a victim of sexual molestation.

[13:43] It's not like you get out of here, Carrie Elwes, you scamp.

[13:47] It's you pedophile.

[13:49] Get the fuck out of my house and away from my family.

Dan McCoy

[13:52] Yeah, it takes a way different tenor.

[13:54] Like it did seem to be sold to us as like wacky grandma with bat rather than like justified anger.

S3

[14:03] Isn't that scene when Dermot Mulroney is having his world champion make out with Felicity Huffman?

[14:07] You see her hair short in that?

[14:09] It's because in a prior scene just before that, she had been drunk on the floor of her mother's

[14:13] house asking her why she could never say I love you, blacked out in front of a half dozen

[14:17] bottles of alcohol and cut off her own hair that's sitting on the floor in front of her.

[14:20] Then she goes to Dermot Mulroney doctors, the guy she used to date when she was like probably

[14:24] in high school, and she is asking him for help getting off of alcohol.

[14:29] She's like, I need like whatever this like anti like something that like would make her

[14:33] sick if she drank.

[14:34] So they start making out after she looks at him and says, how did I miss it?

[14:38] And he goes, people get busy.

[14:40] She goes, no, how did I miss it about Rachel?

[14:43] And he goes, I don't know how you missed that.

[14:44] So then they fall into each other's arms after she says, I don't know how I missed that my

[14:48] daughter was being molested by my husband.

[14:51] That is what tees up that make out.

Stuart Wellington

[14:55] Now guys, I'm going out on a limb here, but I think no molestation is a pretty normal rule,

[15:03] right?

[15:04] Yeah, it is.

S3

[15:05] That's just like a hard and fast one.

[15:07] That seems a little bit more committed than dinner at six or you're not eating.

[15:12] Like this is, this movie, this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[15:16] This is even worse.

[15:17] It's even worse than when my sister and mom went to go see my girl in the theaters.

[15:21] And I was like, was it fun?

[15:22] And they were like, he died.

[15:26] They went, they went expecting a movie like a bad news bears movie for girls.

[15:31] And then it was, and they were like, yeah, he died at the end.

S3

[15:33] The scene where you watch in the trailer, where you watch Lindsay Lohan's character wrestling

[15:37] with a little boy on the ground.

[15:38] That's that wrestling match.

[15:39] And because Lindsay looks at the child and says, oh my God, you're hard.

[15:45] And then grandma sprays them down with a hose because no fighting is a Georgia rule.

[15:49] And she jumps up and she's like, what?

[15:50] He can like get a boner on my leg, but like, I can't like, like shove him off of me.

[15:56] So that happens in that.

[15:57] Also in that trailer, they say.

Elliott Kalan

[15:58] And Jay Fonda goes, you're a handmaid and you'll do what you're told.

S3

[16:02] No, that's when she looks at the neighbors and says she was raised in California.

[16:05] So then at another point in that trailer, the voiceover man says, three generations under

Elliott Kalan

[16:10] one roof for a summer.

S3

[16:13] Inaccurate.

[16:13] Lindsay Lohan's character is sent to live there for the summer.

[16:16] Felicity Huffin's character drops her off, spend one night, comes back weeks later, and

[16:20] then spends like three nights reconciling with the truth of her daughter being a victim of

[16:26] molestation.

[16:26] Now, point of order.

Elliott Kalan

[16:27] Objection.

[16:28] Objection.

[16:28] Your Honor, they didn't say how long that three generations were under one roof.

S3

[16:32] They said for a summer.

Elliott Kalan

[16:34] They say for the summer.

[16:36] For the summer.

[16:37] Three generations.

[16:39] For the summer.

[16:39] Your Honor, I believe they're talking about the summer of a soul, which who knows how

[16:44] long that could last.

S3

[16:44] That could be true.

[16:46] And that's that scene on the boat where Garrett Hedlund's like rocking around and he like

[16:49] falls off.

[16:49] Well, the thing is, is his character is Mormon.

[16:52] And so when he starts making eyes at Lindsay Lohan and they're out on this boat together,

[16:56] she with her extremely frayed relationship between intimacy and sex and desire and self-worth,

[17:04] she like looks at him and is like, what do you mean you've never had sex?

[17:06] And like, well, I'm a Mormon.

[17:07] So she takes off her underwear and she's like, you want to see?

[17:11] And you're like, what the fuck is going on on this boat?

[17:13] And she just takes off her underwear and starts like opening her legs so Garrett Hedlund cannot

[17:17] sensibly see her vagina.

[17:18] And then she's like, you can touch it if you want.

[17:20] So then he starts like very uncomfortably sliding his hand up her leg, at which point

[17:25] the camera just stays on Lindsay Lohan's face where she looks increasingly like she's

[17:29] going to cry because you're watching a victim of chronic abuse reconcile with the fact that

[17:34] she wants this man to like her in the only way she understands affection is sex.

[17:38] So then she claps her legs shut and is like my turn and then gives him a blow job.

Elliott Kalan

[17:43] So I guess what you're saying is Gary Marshall was not the artist with the right sensitivities

[17:48] to tell this tale.

S3

[17:49] This is like, what if we took the kookiness of New Year's Eve and added the most grave and

[17:57] harrowing emotional catalyst for a story you could put in a film.

Elliott Kalan

[18:01] So what's your, and so what's your, what's your tale of this?

[18:03] What's your experience with this film?

[18:04] How did you come across it and how did, how did you first?

S3

[18:07] I just watched this trailer and was like, I love Lindsay Lohan.

[18:10] It's 2007.

[18:12] Felicity Huffman, definitely a thing at that moment in time with Desperate Housewives and

[18:17] Transamerica, like she's, she's in the zeitgeist.

[18:20] Jane Fonda, Eternal.

[18:22] And I was like, I will watch any Lindsay Lohan movie.

[18:24] Like that's where I'm at with this.

[18:26] And Hector Elizondo.

[18:27] Hector Elizondo.

Elliott Kalan

[18:28] To be fair, not mentioned in the trailer at all, but I should have known he was going

[18:32] to be in there because it's a Gary Marshall movie.

S3

[18:34] Yeah, that's a very good point.

[18:35] Hector Elizondo also.

Elliott Kalan

[18:36] And the trailer says, number one Hector Elizondo movie.

[18:39] That's the first rule.

[18:41] The first rule is Hector Elizondo is always, he's always slightly off camera throughout the

[18:46] entire trailer and the entire movie.

S3

[18:47] I think, I think Hector Elizondo in this movie plays like, for some reason, a Basque man

[18:51] who like makes it a point of being like, I'm Basque.

[18:54] And the doctor's like, you can't lift anything because you have a hernia.

[18:56] And he's like, I have to lift.

[18:57] I'm Basque.

[18:59] Is that a Georgia rule?

[19:02] Or is that?

[19:02] He's the best employee I've ever had.

[19:04] He lifts like a Basque.

Dan McCoy

[19:06] Okay.

[19:06] Well.

S3

[19:06] I don't know this about the Basque people.

Dan McCoy

[19:08] This is also an unpleasant element.

Elliott Kalan

[19:12] Don't.

[19:12] I mean, it's not a stereotype I've ever been.

[19:14] I'm not, I don't know too many stereotypes about the Basques, but, uh, but that they're

[19:17] very good at lifting is not something that.

S3

[19:19] They're, they're in fact like genetic imperative to lift, I guess.

[19:24] And so I just thought.

[19:25] I mean, Stuart gets it.

Elliott Kalan

[19:26] He's got a genetic imperative to lift.

[19:27] Yeah.

[19:28] I can't stop.

[19:29] I can't turn it off.

S3

[19:30] You can't stop lifting.

[19:31] He's lifting right now, everybody.

[19:32] I'm watching him lift right now.

[19:33] And I wondered what was going on.

[19:35] And so I rented this movie and I put it on.

[19:38] And then when the molestation plot was introduced, I was.

[19:42] Agog.

[19:43] And then spent the rest of the movie trying to piece together the myriad tones that were

[19:48] being thrown at me for how I was supposed to process all this information.

[19:52] It is.

[19:53] I have never, I have never felt so blindsided by any screen media in my entire life.

[20:00] And I have watched a Serbian film.

[20:02] Like I have never.

Elliott Kalan

[20:03] Well, yeah, but you know, going into a Serbian film, what you get, you didn't, it's

[20:06] they, they didn't, they didn't.

[20:07] You can know, but can you really know?

Dan McCoy

[20:10] No, I get it.

[20:10] Can you really know?

[20:11] It's kind of a rom-com trailer for a Serbian film.

[20:14] They certainly did not.

[20:15] They certainly did not.

[20:16] There's gotta be one out there.

[20:18] I mean, so this is a public service you're doing basically warning people of that.

[20:24] So this is a Georgia rule.

[20:25] Yeah, this is a Georgia rule awareness PSA.

S3

[20:28] It is.

[20:28] It is so.

[20:29] And like watch, this is only the second, because I watched it coming into this again.

[20:32] And this is only the second time I have seen it because since I've watched it, I've

[20:35] been too shocked to return to it.

[20:37] And watching it was no less shocking now.

[20:39] But at the very least, I was like, you know what I couldn't see at the time?

[20:43] Is that everybody is giving a really good performance in this movie.

[20:47] I was like, you know what this movie is making me do?

[20:50] Really miss Lindsay Lohan as an actress.

[20:52] Like, because goddammit, she was good.

[20:55] And she's a star.

[20:56] And like you watch this, like, god, you were funny.

[20:58] You had the timing.

[20:59] And like somehow you are spinning lemonade out of these gallows humor lemons that you

[21:05] are put in the middle of.

[21:06] And that, the scene where she confronts those girls that you watch, the thing, the reason

[21:10] that scene comes up is because Garrett Hedlund decides he has to drive to his Mormon girlfriend's

[21:15] Mormon university and tell her in person that he got a blowjob from a stranger.

[21:19] And he's like, I've got to be honest.

[21:21] Like, I can't, I can't just tell her this over the phone.

[21:23] And so Lindsay goes with him.

[21:25] For some reason, he thinks they should do this together.

[21:27] And the girlfriend's, like, decides her friends are going to surveil him for the rest of the

[21:32] time this girl's in town.

[21:33] Like, he's not going to be able to get away with anything.

[21:35] He can't see her.

[21:36] He can't be around her.

[21:37] The girls are surveilling.

[21:39] So they find, like, they make it a point of, like, every so often when they see her in

[21:42] town, they'll be like, slut.

[21:43] They just, like, yell things at her.

[21:44] So she finally, like, she is at a gas station.

[21:48] They call her out.

[21:49] Their car doesn't start.

[21:50] She starts chasing them down in Garrett Hedlund's truck.

[21:53] And they think she's going to run them over.

[21:54] And instead, she gets out of the car and she starts, like, she tries to reconcile.

[21:57] She's like, I get it.

[21:59] Like, message received.

[22:01] You don't have to worry about me.

[22:02] We're just friends.

[22:03] You can leave us alone.

[22:04] Like, it's totally cool.

[22:05] And the girl basically calls her a whore again.

[22:08] So Lindsay's like, fine.

[22:08] I tried to do this nice way.

[22:10] And that's when she's like, if you do anything to me again, if you talk to Harlan, I am going

[22:15] to find every single one of your boyfriends.

[22:18] And I'm going to fuck them stupid.

[22:20] And it is in, it is actually an excellently delivered line.

[22:25] It is.

[22:25] I was like, you know what?

[22:26] Even amidst this chaos, I'm buying this.

[22:29] I'm buying this line right now.

[22:30] And yes, use your sex positivity to say you will ruin these girls' lives completely for it.

Stuart Wellington

[22:35] Now, so do you feel like when you're watching, you're saying all the performances are great,

[22:40] and I believe you, does it feel like they didn't quite realize what kind of movie they were in?

[22:47] Like, do you think they thought they're like, nope, this is our ticket to the Golden Globes, baby?

S3

[22:51] It absolutely would be the Golden Globes.

[22:54] And it feels like everybody feels like they are really, they are really playing this script.

[23:01] Like, it is, it's fascinating to watch because, like, it feels like they did know, but, like,

[23:08] maybe they thought the irreverence was going to play as subversive, whereas it plays just,

[23:14] like, almost, like, almost, like, assaulting in how it is.

[23:18] It's like, it's like if somebody was, if somebody said the words trigger warning assault to you while laughing maniacally,

[23:25] or, like, they handed you a Valentine card that said trigger warning for sexual assault.

[23:30] Like, that is, like, the combination of sensations of experiencing.

[23:33] Not a very popular card.

Elliott Kalan

[23:34] No, I mean, there's something, there's something kind of, like, Cards Against Humanity about it.

[23:39] So it's, like, kind of, like, both not funny and gross.

[23:42] That is an extremely good point.

S3

[23:43] Yeah.

[23:43] That is an extremely, this is a card, if Cards Against Humanity was a movie,

[23:47] in its cacophony of intentions and tones.

[23:51] It would be Georgia rule.

Elliott Kalan

[23:53] Now, here's something that, on Wikipedia, this makes me, in some ways, more interested in the movie

[23:57] because it shows the effort.

[23:58] It says that it was set on Idaho, but apparently it was shot in Southern California,

[24:02] and much of the scenery was created with CGI.

[24:04] It says on Wikipedia.

[24:05] Who knows if that's true?

[24:06] But it makes me imagine that this is Gary Marshall's avatar, maybe.

[24:09] Like, how many years was he working on this, creating this Idaho environment?

S3

[24:12] This is, Georgia's home is Home Tree, and these are Navi,

[24:17] and this is his avatar.

[24:19] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[24:21] And the blowjob scene is a lot like, what, sticking your ponytail into a flying monster or some shit?

S3

[24:26] Yeah, it's a lot like the ponytail connective tissue.

[24:29] Yeah.

[24:30] It is, it is, and, like, you can see from this, like, you watch the trailer,

[24:34] it's, it's, I can't ever decide if it's better for people to,

[24:37] because, like, because we're talking about it, I wanted you guys to see the trailer first,

[24:39] but I couldn't, I was thinking today, would it be better to tell people,

[24:43] watch this movie and then watch the trailer, or tell them to watch the trailer,

[24:46] then watch the movie?

[24:46] I can't decide if it would be better to set them up for the lie,

[24:49] or make them, make them realize the lie that they were meant to buy after the fact.

Elliott Kalan

[24:54] I guess you gotta run it both ways and see what, see what, what results you get.

[24:58] You gotta run, and then a control group that doesn't watch Georgia Rule,

[25:01] and watches a different Gary Marshall movie.

S3

[25:03] Because clearly, the studio had this in their hand, and they're like,

[25:05] we simply cannot tell people what this is about.

[25:09] No.

Stuart Wellington

[25:09] They're like, no one will go to see the movie.

[25:11] Do you think they cut, like, a sad version of the trailer first, and they're like, ugh?

S3

[25:15] They had to, because, like, that scene where she, when Felicity Huffman's, like,

[25:20] in the trailer, when she's like, there's a time when you would have thrown me out by my hair

[25:24] for drinking in the house, and she's like, I'm too old, and so is your hair.

[25:27] That's, like, a harrowing moment where, like, that scene ends with Felicity Huffman so drunk,

[25:32] she collapses in the living room and busts open her lip.

[25:35] And her daughter and her mother have to carry her up the stairs,

[25:39] because she's too belligerent to function.

[25:41] Like, it is a grave scene about how could I never have known,

[25:45] how could I never have realized, and they cut it in the trailer as a gag.

[25:49] Like, they were like, we have no idea what to do,

[25:53] so let's just tell everybody that these are just normal jokes.

Elliott Kalan

[25:59] This trailer reminds me of the trailer, I mean, in a different way, I guess,

[26:02] the trailer for The Grey, where that led me to believe it was going to be about a man

[26:06] who was having a fistfight with a wolf.

[26:09] Absolutely.

[26:10] When really, that's, like, the last five seconds of the movie,

[26:13] and until then, it's just five men walking to death in the frozen north.

S3

[26:18] Which, like, The Green Knight is not not about a man walking to death, also.

[26:22] Like, I was sold somebody who was going to ride on the shoulder of a giant,

[26:26] not somebody who would turn down the opportunity

[26:28] and just be a hot loser who goes on a long walk.

Stuart Wellington

[26:30] That's what's so great about it, is he's a hot, confused loser.

[26:33] He is a pretty hot, hot loser.

S3

[26:35] There are so many hot loser men around me who don't know shit.

[26:39] I don't know why that's cinema, but, like, Deb Patel is very handsome,

[26:42] and it looked very pretty.

[26:44] But, like, I was promised giants, and I got, like, a drive-by of them.

[26:48] I was like, wait, he didn't even ride the giant?

[26:51] What the fuck is this?

[26:52] I thought you wanted a story to tell.

[26:53] Well, he got some movie Riding Giants.

[26:54] Gawain.

Elliott Kalan

[26:55] I mean, you should go see the BFG, I guess.

[26:57] The kid rides a giant like crazy.

[26:59] Damn right.

[27:00] Damn right.

[27:01] The BFG delivered.

[27:03] Mark Rylance delivered.

[27:05] This kid rides a giant like crazy.

[27:07] Oh, he came on the flop house.

S3

[27:08] The tagline, this kid rides a giant like crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[27:12] This is coming at an interesting turning point in Gary Marshall's career

[27:15] because according to, I'm looking at his credits now,

[27:18] three years before was his previous direct royal effort,

[27:21] The Princess Diaries 2, Royal Engagement.

[27:23] And then three years later is Valentine's Day.

[27:25] So it does feel like perhaps somebody quantum leaped into his body

[27:29] and decided to make a darker project in between what are two very fluff movies,

[27:34] you know?

S3

[27:35] I mean, this might sound like very aggressive,

[27:37] but it feels like the run of George A. Roll New Year's Day,

[27:42] Valentine's Day is like elder abuse.

[27:45] Like, guys, we can give Gary anything.

[27:47] And like we can get paid for writing or et cetera,

[27:51] producing a Gary Marshall movie, and he doesn't know.

[27:55] Like it's so fucking weird that it's like, did Gary know?

[28:00] Did someone tell Gary?

Elliott Kalan

[28:01] What if it's like how like, you know,

[28:04] the thing where it's like I do one for the studio and then I do one for me?

[28:07] Yeah.

[28:07] But which one was the one for Gary?

[28:09] Which one?

[28:10] Which one?

Stuart Wellington

[28:11] Or Georgia Rule?

[28:12] Was this a blacklist script?

[28:14] Well, the script, that's what I was going to say.

Elliott Kalan

[28:16] The way Eddie Murphy was like, I'll do Dreamgirls,

[28:19] do Dreamgirls, but only if you fund Norbit.

[28:21] And it's like, wait, where are your priorities?

[28:23] But sorry, Dan, you're saying.

Dan McCoy

[28:24] Well, no, the screenwriter of this, I looked up,

[28:27] his three prior credits before Georgia Rule are As Good As It Gets,

[28:33] Life As A House, and Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

[28:37] Those are successful films.

[28:38] It feels like Gary Marshall got someone else's mail.

[28:43] Like the screenwriter meant to send this to like, I don't know,

[28:47] like Lawrence Kasdan or something.

[28:49] I don't know.

[28:50] Yeah.

S3

[28:50] No, that is perfect.

[28:52] He got somebody else's mail and he just like, he went for it.

[28:56] And this is, it's a fascinating time in the era of Lindsay Lohan

[29:01] because this is like, before this,

[29:03] she's had like a little thing in Prairie Home Companion.

[29:05] And that was, that was like a Robert Altman film.

[29:08] And so that was a big deal.

[29:09] Herbie Fully Loaded came in 2005.

[29:11] And I think that was kind of like the last gasp of her,

[29:13] almost the last gasp of her.

[29:14] Like I make kids movies.

[29:15] Just My Luck was similar to that as well.

[29:17] But then there was Bobby.

[29:19] And that was supposed to be this big, you know,

[29:21] Oscar Beatty ensemble thing that just sort of fizzled out.

[29:24] Oh, right.

Elliott Kalan

[29:24] I forgot about that movie.

[29:26] Yeah, yeah.

[29:27] That Emilio Estevez directed, right?

S3

[29:28] If Valentine's Day was about Bobby Kennedy's assassination.

[29:33] Like let's put that intersecting ensemble cast situation in here.

Elliott Kalan

[29:37] I love the idea that Gary Marshall was up for that movie.

[29:40] He's pitching.

[29:40] He's like, all right, it's Bobby Kennedy's assassination day.

[29:43] But what if it was on Valentine's Day?

S3

[29:45] Yeah, but think of it as love actually.

[29:47] But on the day Bobby Kennedy, beloved Bobby Kennedy was assassinated.

Elliott Kalan

[29:50] Can anyone find love on the day that Bobby Kennedy is killed at the Ambassador Hotel?

[29:55] Gary, that's not the tone we're going for with this.

[29:56] Well, I'll make Georgia rule.

[29:58] I'll show you.

S3

[29:58] Well, I'll make Georgia rule.

[29:59] I'll mix all the tones.

[30:00] You want to tell me about tone?

[30:02] I'll show you tone.

[30:03] I'm going to make Georgia rule.

[30:04] And then in 2007, we get both.

[30:07] We get both Georgia rule and the Lindsay Lohan classic, I Know Who Killed Me.

[30:14] So this is a fascinating transition time for Lindsay Lohan in her career where she's like,

[30:20] I think the rumors are starting to plague her.

[30:22] She's starting to be seen as unreliable and irresponsible.

[30:24] She's also being saddled as like, oh, Lindsay Lohan's a lesbian because she dates Sam Ronson.

[30:28] And that makes her a freak because it's 2007.

[30:31] And there's the very public blowing up of her family with her dad.

[30:34] And so she's becoming huge tabloid fodder.

[30:37] And so she's trying to make these like serious movies, like become a serious genre film actress

[30:43] and something like I Know Who Killed Me, which plays as like going for something wildly profound

[30:47] that just comes out as this incredible cornucopia of things.

[30:51] And Neil McDonough's there.

[30:52] And so is Julia Orman inexplicably.

[30:53] And then you have Georgia rule, which feels like, oh man, Felicity Huffman, Jane Fonda.

[30:58] It's Gary Marshall.

[30:59] And like, it's a rom-com, but not the rom-com you expect because there's this heavy detail.

[31:03] And it feels like it's going for honestly a movie that feels like it could be made more

[31:08] successfully now.

[31:09] Like, I feel like we are, we've, we've gone dark, we've gone esoteric.

[31:14] And there's a sort of blending of the mainstream and the art house in this way because of the

[31:18] proliferation of distribution platforms where it feels like something handled a bit more

[31:22] cannily like Georgia rule could actually pull off.

[31:25] Like it feels like it is possible.

[31:27] But at this time, I think it was supposed to be this like edgy subversion of the genre that

[31:32] was going to be a great move for Lindsay and ended up being just sort of another one in

[31:36] a string of things that felt like Lindsay Lohan can't carry a movie as a star because

[31:39] she's trouble when it's like, or because it's Georgia rule, like, or because it's I know

[31:44] who killed me and it's not her fault.

Elliott Kalan

[31:45] Because she, she, she was working with not good material.

[31:47] This is 2007 is the same year that Juno comes out.

[31:51] And so I think you're right that it feels like it's like they're going towards this idea

[31:54] of like some kind of edgy, you know, controversial comedy, but they, and I don't even,

[31:59] I don't even particularly like Juno that much, but it's, it's more successful.

[32:03] It sounds like this one is.

[32:04] But there's also the possibility that the backers got too much investment for it.

[32:09] And they figured if this movie fails, we can just run away with all the money.

[32:13] And we, and we don't have, and nobody, nobody looks into the books of a failed movie.

[32:17] Right, Dan?

[32:18] It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a con that can't lose.

[32:21] Right.

[32:22] A perfect crime.

[32:23] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[32:23] You know what?

[32:24] I, I've never heard of this failing before.

[32:26] So you've convinced me, Zero Mustel.

S5

[32:34] Hi, I'm Annabelle Gurrich.

[32:36] And I'm Laura House.

Elliott Kalan

[32:37] And we're the hosts of Tiny Victories.

[32:39] My tiny victory is that I sewed that button back on the day after it broke.

S3

[32:46] We talk about that little thing that you did that's a big deal to you, but nobody else cares.

[32:50] Did you get that Guggenheim Genius Award?

[32:53] We don't want to hear from you.

[32:54] We want little bitty tiny victories.

S5

[32:55] My tiny victory is a tattoo that I added on to this past weekend.

[32:59] Let's talk about it.

Elliott Kalan

[33:00] My victory is that I'm one year cancer free, but my tiny victory is that I took all of the

[33:06] cushions off the couch, pounded them out, put them back, and it looks so great.

S3

[33:12] So if you're like us and you want to celebrate the tiny achievements of ordinary people, listen

[33:16] to Tiny Victories.

[33:18] It's on every Monday on Maximum Fun.

S5

[33:23] Are you feeling elevated levels of anxiety?

[33:27] Do you quake uncontrollably, even thinking about watching cable news?

[33:31] Do you have disturbing nightmares, only to realize it's two in the afternoon and you're up?

[33:37] If you've experienced one or more of these symptoms, you may have FNO.

[33:42] News overload.

[33:44] Fortunately, there's treatment.

[33:46] Hi.

[33:46] I'm Dave Holmes, host of Troubled Waters.

[33:49] Troubled Waters helps fight FNO.

[33:51] That's because Troubled Waters stimulates your joy zone.

[33:55] On Troubled Waters, two comedians will battle one another for pop culture supremacy.

[34:00] So join me, Dave Holmes, for two, two, two doses of Troubled Waters a month.

[34:06] The cure for your FNOX news overload.

[34:09] Available on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Dan McCoy

[34:14] The Flophouse is sponsored in part by Stitch Fix.

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[34:25] Like if Elliot went to a store, it would be for a smaller gentleman who likes big belt buckles.

[34:35] Or for Stuart, you know, it would be all chunky cardigans in his store that he would throw on over like a bootleg Minions t-shirt.

[34:46] Which for some reason looks good on him because everything looks good on him.

[34:51] Or for me, you know, it would be like a tweed jacket.

[34:56] Something that you would think that you'd throw on to have some tea in your home library.

[35:04] If you were, you know, a refined enough person to have a home library.

[35:11] Sitting next to my books right now in a small room that also houses all of the brooms and mops in the house right now.

[35:24] I don't know why I've decided to put them in here.

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[36:09] That's stitchfix.com slash flophouse to try Stitch Fix Freestyle.

[36:17] Stitchfix.com slash flophouse.

[36:21] That's the last time I have to say it.

[36:23] And you know I'm happy because I'm not good at saying words.

[36:28] Now back to the show.

Stuart Wellington

[36:32] Before we get to a plug, Dan, this is basically one of our reoccurring mini episode structures, which is miss that movie.

[36:40] It's true.

[36:41] This would be a time for us to decide whether or not we are sad we missed it, glad we missed it, or had to not miss it, and we're going to go watch it right now.

[36:52] So, Dan, which of those three do you feel?

Dan McCoy

[36:55] Well, while I agree with our guests that Lindsay Lohan is a talented actor who unfortunately had a sort of a promising career derailed by a lot of tabloid stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[37:09] When it turns out, Felicity Huffman was much more of a criminal than Lindsay Lohan this whole time.

[37:14] It turns out.

Dan McCoy

[37:15] That's the twist.

[37:16] I don't think that I could stomach combining Gary Marshall with a plot that has a reveal of consistent sexual assault.

[37:32] So I'm going to say I'm glad I missed it.

[37:34] Okay.

[37:35] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[37:36] Yeah.

[37:36] I would say I am obviously morbidly curious about it because of the word picture you made.

[37:42] I would encourage you all to watch this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[37:44] I mean, I feel like I kind of need to now that I know.

[37:46] Yeah, it's like if Gary Marshall and Tracy Letts made something together, which I don't know how to work.

[37:51] On the other hand, I think I may have enjoyed it the best this way, hearing Jordan talk about it, much like I don't – the way I prefer to receive the new Sex and the City series is by hearing my coworkers complain about it.

[38:03] Right.

S3

[38:04] It's like how I love watching Grey's Anatomy via people on Twitter talking about Grey's Anatomy.

[38:09] Grey's Anatomy is the most fun show to know nothing about, and here catastrophically insane details just come up.

Elliott Kalan

[38:17] Well, because you're like, well, that can't possibly be the case.

[38:19] There's no way.

[38:20] But –

S3

[38:20] When somebody tries to tell you an out-of-context thing about Grey's Anatomy, they're like, okay, I'm not going to explain the whole thing.

[38:25] But like she has one leg.

[38:26] There was a plane crash, and then this happened.

[38:28] And it's like, wait, what now?

[38:30] Like they – and then like they have – and they have marital – like it's always about the leg.

[38:34] I'm like, wow.

[38:35] And then like I remember hearing about like somebody like fucking blowing up on Grey's Anatomy.

[38:40] Like, yeah, the bomb spot had to come into the hospital and get the thing, and then he blew up into like pink mist.

[38:45] I was like – and I thought Pretty Little Liars was fucking crazy.

[38:49] Like, wow, guys.

[38:51] Favorite show of all time, Pretty Little Liars.

Elliott Kalan

[38:56] I love – this is what it feels like I think when I'm trying to – when I'm talking to Dune with my family.

[39:02] I'm talking about Dune with my family, and I'm like, okay, yeah, he becomes a multi-thousand-year-old half-man, half-sandworm.

[39:08] And he has to be overthrown by a clone.

S3

[39:10] I don't – I only know Dune from the films.

[39:12] Of course I'm aware of the books, but like I've only ever watched the films.

[39:15] And I was trying to explain – I was trying to explain Dune to somebody without explaining too much of Dune to somebody to be like – to just like go see the movie.

[39:21] And I remember like I just said the word Arrakis, and they were like, wait, who's Arrakis?

[39:26] And I was like, we've already gone too far.

[39:27] Like you already want too much information.

[39:30] Like I was really trying to not like put terms out there, but it just like – it was using – it was like I was using the word and the definition, and people were like, I don't know what the hell you're saying.

[39:39] And I was like, I'm sorry.

[39:40] I've said too much.

[39:41] But by saying not enough, I'm sorry.

Stuart Wellington

[39:43] Yeah, it was like –

[39:43] I failed you.

[39:44] It was like when my wife and I were watching We're Here, the show where drag queens show up in Queer Eye, a small town.

[39:55] And there was an episode where Bob the drag queen was talking to a young queer kid whose idol was Dio Brando, the villain from the JoJo series.

[40:06] And Charlene's like, what is that?

[40:08] Wow.

[40:09] And I'm like –

[40:09] Stuart was so excited.

[40:10] Like do you want to know because I can –

[40:13] Do you?

Elliott Kalan

[40:13] Yeah.

[40:14] I can tell you all about it.

[40:15] Are you ready?

[40:16] I feel like this is – you held out two pills and you said, if you take the red pill, I'll take you into JoJo.

[40:21] But if you take the blue pill, you can just forget this conversation ever happens.

Dan McCoy

[40:25] I admire Audrey's ability if I like – like I will ask her if she wants to know.

[40:30] But then like I'll – once I'm explaining, I admire her ability to say, don't care.

[40:36] Like once she's hit the wall.

S3

[40:39] That's admirable.

[40:39] That's very admirable.

[40:40] Not everybody can do that.

Elliott Kalan

[40:41] Yeah.

[40:42] See, Dan, you – unfortunately, you don't know the joy of having children, which is that they have to listen to you sometimes.

[40:47] Oh, okay.

[40:50] And alternately the not so much joy of having to explain all the Spider-Man movies while watching the newest Spider-Man movie to a seven-year-old who has seen none of the other ones and keeps calling Andrew Garfield Andrew Jackson.

[41:05] Harshman Fair.

[41:06] Yeah.

[41:07] So I'm going to say I'm probably – I'm probably going to keep missing this movie.

[41:12] But –

S3

[41:13] You guys are – I mean –

[41:14] I may need to see it.

[41:14] Live a lesser life.

[41:15] Fine.

[41:15] I may need to see it.

[41:16] I guess like live less fulfilled lives.

[41:18] That's your decision.

[41:19] But like this is really – I cannot – I have not done my duty sufficiently in life evangelizing Georgia rule because people should participate in this, especially like again as an incredible artifact of the aughts, the messiest I think time perhaps in our pop culture history.

[41:38] This calamity of like chauvinism and faux feminism and incredibly like rigid gender binaries but also RuPaul's Drag Race is about to premiere in 2009.

[41:48] And it's like, oh, but like Obama's in the White House but he doesn't like gamer energy yet.

[41:52] And so it's like this illusion of progress because we had Queer Eye and Ellen was on TV and so are Will and Grace but at the same time everything's homophobic.

[41:59] Yeah.

[41:59] So like it's a nutso-ass time in pop culture which makes it feel like Georgia Rule is actually a perfectly indicative film of 2007.

Stuart Wellington

[42:07] And interestingly, because it came out in 2007, there is a very real chance that in like a sliding doors moment, the early days of the flop house, we might have covered this movie.

[42:19] And I will totally tell you the steward of that time period did not have the emotional depth to handle that kind of a twist.

[42:28] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[42:28] Yeah.

[42:29] As a podcast, I'm glad we missed it.

[42:32] Yeah.

[42:32] I think we're all better.

[42:33] I'm much –

[42:34] It seems safer terrain to have missed it.

[42:36] I'm much happier that we did I Know Who Killed Me which was more our type of thing that we could handle, you know, at that time.

S3

[42:42] Yeah, me and on my podcast about the intersection of pop culture of the 2000s and millennium era horror films, we went so deep into the annals of I Know Who Killed Me.

[42:53] And we got the loveliest DM from the screenwriter of that who was like, I just wanted to say that like that movie was my first and as you might imagine, last job in Hollywood.

[43:03] Aww.

[43:04] And I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you guys saw what I was trying to do with that film.

[43:10] And we were like, we're here for you.

[43:12] We are the Stan club of I Know Who Killed Me who is here for you.

[43:17] Absolutely like singular stuff.

[43:19] You can't request cinema like that.

[43:23] It just has to come out of the ether like a gift, a jewel, a shining orb dropped into your hands and you get to choose whether you appreciate it or let it go into the night.

[43:33] I feel like – I know Who Killed Me was the first episode Elliot was on.

Elliott Kalan

[43:37] It was, yeah.

[43:38] Wow.

[43:39] Yeah, back then.

[43:39] Wow.

S3

[43:40] We're really charting the course of this podcast.

[43:42] Lindsay Lohan right now.

Elliott Kalan

[43:43] It's a really important one in my personal history, yeah.

[43:47] Hugely.

[43:48] And I just – I have so many memories of watching it and being like, why does she have a robot hand now?

S3

[43:55] Lindsay Lohan's first sex scene featuring two robot appendages.

Stuart Wellington

[43:58] And we also did like a riff show where we watched it live and told jokes.

[44:04] Yeah.

[44:04] And I remember it being – I remember seeing it on the big screen and being like, this movie is better than I remember it being.

[44:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[44:11] I stand by what I said.

[44:12] If it was in Italian, people would be like, oh, what a good movie.

[44:16] What it does with color.

[44:17] Oh, so interesting.

[44:18] It is.

[44:18] It's a piano film.

S3

[44:19] Yeah, yeah.

[44:20] Yeah, yeah.

[44:20] A hundred percent.

[44:21] Like, if this were pulled – if I Know Who Killed Me was pulled straight from 1977 and it had the name Bava next to it, people would be like, oh, my God.

[44:28] Like, dudes would be masturbating to how amazing it is.

Stuart Wellington

[44:31] Or even the same time it came out and it was like a Nicholas Wendig Reffin movie.

S3

[44:36] Yeah, yeah.

[44:37] Yes, absolutely.

[44:37] As perhaps the Neon Demon's biggest fan, I couldn't think of a higher endorsement than that.

Dan McCoy

[44:42] Yeah, yeah.

[44:43] No, no, seeing it again, I kind of came around on the movie and I was going to say that, like, hearing that the screenwriter had no further work would make me feel bad for our episode if we had any control or influence over –

[45:00] Especially back then we didn't.

[45:01] We still don't now, but we really didn't then.

[45:03] But if that person somehow stumbles upon this, you know –

S3

[45:11] I was a little hard on I Know Who Killed Me.

[45:14] An important – hey, everybody was.

[45:16] And I think an important note about, like, the timing in which, like, George Rule comes out and I Know Who Killed Me, like, sort of around the same – around that exact same time is that, like, I remember going to see I Know Who Killed Me in theaters.

[45:25] And I remember when Lindsay Lohan's name popped up on screen, the other people in the theater started laughing.

[45:29] It was, like, a reflexive, like, they were there as a gag to watch a Lindsay Lohan train wreck.

[45:34] Because it was happening in her career at that time that that was how she's being received by people.

[45:39] So, like, this movie comes out and from what I remember, like, in interviews she's talked about, she speaks so warmly of, like, working with Gary Marshall and working with Jane Fonda and Felicity Huffman.

[45:48] Like, it seems like the experience of making this was a really warm and positive one for her.

[45:52] But it was at this point where she was getting so saddled with stigma that it was becoming this perpetuating problem of, like, you know, the more difficult people saw Lindsay Lohan as being, I'm sure, the more easy it was to be maybe kind of shitty because you were resentful of how people were talking about you and treating you.

[46:06] So, this is, like, a really fragile time in her career.

[46:11] And so, this movie being sort of as crazy as it is feels like, it's like, well, yes, I feel like that fits in line with the timeline of, like, how this person was trying to piece together the next step forward and sort of the odd range of material they were doing around this era.

Elliott Kalan

[46:26] That was during that bad period when young women were just, like, anything they did that was somehow scandalous that started in the 19-teens and continues to question mark, question mark, question mark.

[46:39] I feel like there's so many cycles of, like, I've been thinking so much about, because she's one day older than me, of how Britney Spears, when she, like, shaved her head and people were like, she's a mad woman.

[46:51] What's going on with her?

[46:52] And it's, like, looking back, that seems, like, not really worth putting on a newspaper or talking about.

[46:57] You know, like, it's such a, you know.

S3

[46:59] Well, this was the, and this was the era, too, when, like, it's just a couple years before this that, and I've talked about this before, but Lindsay Lowe is on the cover of Rolling Stone as their hot girl for their annual hot issue.

[47:10] And you read that profile of her, and I posted about it last year, and I went on this kind of whole thing because it was around when, like, the I Am Paris documentary is coming out and the Britney documentary is coming out.

[47:19] We're starting to, people who were in their formative years in the millennium era are starting to become the people who talk about history and the people who are sort of cementing that history and reevaluating it.

[47:28] And you look back at that profile, and Rolling Stone was at its sort of, like, peak of the present, like, 21st century zeitgeist at that time.

[47:35] It obviously had a heyday in the 70s when it was founded, but then in the 2000s, it was really hitting a zenith again, and it really capturing the de rigueur spirit of how we wrote celebrity profiles at the time, which was deeply snarky, deeply misogynist, really flippant, cruel, and weirdly pervy.

[47:52] And, like, you read that hot girl profile now, and the first five paragraphs are about her boobs.

[47:58] They're about a girl who just turned 18, and they're about, like, a thing you might have noticed about Lindsay Lohan is that she's developed.

[48:04] And I'm going to talk about the history of Disney stars developing, and this is when Annette Funicello got boobs in Beach Bake at Babylon.

[48:11] And it's, like, the writer who he was interviewed, like, I started talking about this, and the story started going around.

[48:17] Then a Washington Post journalist did a story about this profile and how we talked about women in the 2000s, and that writer, Mark Bellinelli, I think, he interviewed for the story.

[48:26] And was, like, I read that, I did that at the time and thought I was, like, subversive of the way we talked about women, and I thought it was, like, a way of, like, breaking the standard of how we held them to, like, being children forever.

[48:41] He's, like, but I read it now, and it's egregious.

[48:43] Like, I apologize that I did that.

[48:45] Like, to the point where a person writing something now, like, the very beginning of it, he says, like, when I meet Lindsay Lohan, I, like, verify that her boobs are real.

[48:56] He says, like, by discreet fact-checking, a.k.a. looking at her tits, and, quote, a goodbye hug.

[49:03] It's, like, oh, good, I'm glad you were scoping out the 18-year-old girl's boobs by giving her a, quote, discreet goodbye hug on your way out the door.

[49:10] I'm guessing it wasn't that discreet.

[49:12] Yeah, probably.

[49:13] I think in his mind it was discreet.

[49:14] And, you know, you know what?

[49:16] The hallmark of discretion is publishing an article where you say it afterwards.

[49:20] So, you know, like, this is the era, and that was, and I fucking loved Rolling Stone at that time.

[49:26] I subscribed.

[49:27] I ate up those articles.

[49:28] The profile of Jessica Simpson by Vanessa Gregoriadis was just, like, too mean, and I was, like, this is cruel and awful, and I hate it, the Housewife of the Year cover.

[49:35] But, like, I loved that, and that magazine did that tone.

[49:39] It, like, snatched it from FHM and Maxim magazine and did it better than any of the other glossies.

[49:43] Like, their celebrity profiles were definitive.

[49:46] And that was, like, we enjoyed that shit at the time, and this is what you have to contend with?

[49:51] Like, fuck, that is nuts.

[49:53] That is cultural nuts madness.

[49:57] I talk about this stuff a lot.

[49:58] I'm really, like, heads in this era all the time.

Elliott Kalan

[50:00] I mean, luckily, all those problems are solved, which is why we can look back on it.

[50:04] Yeah, thank God.

[50:04] Thank God that 15 minutes ago we said no more, and then we fixed it.

[50:08] Like, otherwise, there'd be a lot to be worried about.

[50:10] That was so, I'm so glad that we made that decision to stop doing that.

S3

[50:13] Yeah.

[50:14] Yeah.

[50:14] I'm so glad we stopped doing that, and we don't carry any memory or weight of it or baggage from the past.

[50:18] It's just all dissolved, you know?

[50:20] Otherwise, we'd have a lot to reckon with.

[50:22] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[50:23] Shit.

[50:24] Something to talk to our therapists about.

[50:26] Yeah.

S3

[50:27] We're fresh out.

[50:28] We're fresh out of things.

[50:29] Don't need to.

Elliott Kalan

[50:31] Yesterday, you were just telling me that your last time with your therapist, they were like,

[50:35] do you want to talk about that Rolling Stone thing?

[50:36] And you're like, I think I got it.

[50:38] I think we made amends.

[50:40] I think I've coped.

[50:41] Yeah.

S3

[50:43] But thank you guys so much for giving me the forum to discuss Georgia Rule.

[50:47] What a treat.

[50:48] I hope you have had as much fun as I have tonight.

[50:51] Jordan, already you're better at hosting our podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[50:53] No.

[50:55] So, Jordan, what would you like listeners to take from you and look out for next?

[51:02] What would you like to plug?

S3

[51:04] I would absolutely like to plug the new podcast, the podcast that brings me here today on the Maximum Fun Network.

[51:09] It is Feeling Seen, where you mentioned we're here, and we actually had Eureka O'Hara on the pod.

[51:15] What?

[51:15] To talk about feeling represented by Drew Barrymore's performance of Josie Grosie in the movie Never Been Kissed.

[51:24] Sure.

[51:25] Each episode I have on a different person, and I ask them about where they have found representation or a mirror for themselves in films.

[51:32] And sometimes that's one character.

[51:34] Sometimes it's several characters.

[51:36] We have an upcoming episode where it was unexpected, but the actor picked the character they had just played in a movie, and we talked about what it is to embody, to be these vessels of being an avatar of representation for other people.

[51:49] So, it's me wanting to just sort of have as much as I can get people to buy into the premise and have, like, emotional or vulnerable conversations with me while also, like, trying to have as much fun with them as possible.

[52:00] Like, I think we're doing a really good job, and I think people would really like it.

[52:03] So, it would be super if you could check the Feeling Seen pod out.

[52:06] And I have, like, a handful of others.

[52:08] A disaster movie podcast, Disaster Girls.

[52:10] The horror movie podcast, Otzterion.

[52:12] I do a lot of talking.

[52:14] You can have so many hours of me talking.

Elliott Kalan

[52:17] And I'm looking forward to the invitation to have me on to talk about Salacious Scrum in Return of the Jedi.

[52:22] Hey!

S3

[52:23] Salacious B. Crum!

Elliott Kalan

[52:25] Dan's going to say, like, fucking Wonder Boys or some shit.

Dan McCoy

[52:31] Yeah, I was like, Charlie Brown, Eeyore, which one would be?

[52:35] Anyway.

S3

[52:37] Salacious B. Crum, icon.

Elliott Kalan

[52:40] Oh, yeah.

[52:40] He's both pet and employee.

[52:42] That's what's so amazing about him to me.

S3

[52:45] Rare intersection.

Dan McCoy

[52:47] So, let's put a cap on it.

[52:52] Let's send it off to bed.

[52:54] And by send it off to bed, I mean me and Stuart on the East Coast.

S3

[52:59] Yeah, Georgia Rule, off to bed, guys.

[53:02] Podcast ends.

[53:03] Sweet Georgia Rule dreams tonight.

Dan McCoy

[53:05] Dan and Stu.

[53:07] I'll have these goofy dreams that will be interrupted by something horribly tragic and upsetting.

S3

[53:14] And then hear a Mandy Moore soundtrack along with that to marry it all together into the Georgia Rule.

[53:19] Yeah, well, that's every dream.

Dan McCoy

[53:20] Yeah, that's my white noise machine.

[53:24] Thank you for being with us.

[53:26] Check out MaximumFun.org for many other great podcasts, including Jordan's.

[53:31] Thanks to Alex Smith, our producer, for making us sound good.

[53:36] For the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[53:40] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[53:42] I apologize for being Elliot Kalin.

[53:45] And Jordan, you have been?

S3

[53:47] And I have been Jordan Cruciola.

[53:50] Bye.

Stuart Wellington

[53:52] Bye.

FH Mini 46 - Missed that Movie! Georgia Rule, with Jordan Crucchiola

Transcript

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