Ep. #360 - House of Gucci, with Audrey Lazaro

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss House of Gucci.

[0:03] No, Dan, you mispronounced it. The title is House of Gucci!

[0:30] Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:36] No! Hey there, Dan. It's me, Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:40] I'm Elliot Kalin, and I'm wondering why Stuart was so upset by Dan naming himself.

Stuart Wellington

[0:45] Sorry, I was buffering there, guys.

[0:47] Oh, okay.

[0:48] Okay. Knock, knock, guys.

[0:50] Knock, beep, beep. We've got the keys to the cheek.

[0:52] Oh, look.

[0:53] Who's joining us today, Daniel?

Dan McCoy

[0:55] It's our guest, Audrey Lazaro.

[0:56] Now, Audrey, how would Flophouse listeners know you best?

S2

[1:03] By Dan's constant mentions of my brilliant insight to bad movies.

[1:08] Sure.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09] You were the person who I feel like the Flophouse audience at large was first cued into, or clued into, I guess,

[1:16] by when Dan would be like, so I watched this movie with a friend, and we're like, oh, no pronouns.

[1:24] We don't know who this person could be.

[1:26] That was you.

[1:27] You were the friend, and now you're here with us.

[1:30] You accepted us.

[1:32] My plan has worked.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34] You've been promoted from friend to wife, and then promoted from wife to podcast co-host.

[1:39] Yeah.

[1:39] That's how it goes.

[1:40] Your grift has come to pass.

S2

[1:42] Well, I have to say, it's been my dream to work with my favorite podcaster, Elliot Kalin.

[1:48] My favorite.

[1:49] Thank you, Audrey.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50] How quickly that dream will become a nightmare in moments.

[1:54] Oh, it's a real monkey's paw situation.

[1:56] It's easy to love them from the outside.

[2:00] Oh, it's so much harder to love me from the inside.

[2:02] Ask the bacteria in my body.

[2:04] Yeah.

[2:04] They do not like it.

[2:05] Some of them help you out, you know, with digestion and such.

[2:08] Begrudgingly.

[2:09] Begrudgingly.

[2:10] They're like, all right, for just this once, we'll create an alliance, you and me.

Dan McCoy

[2:15] Okay.

[2:16] So, yeah, Audrey married me in November.

[2:22] Yeah, but there's more to her than that, Dan.

[2:25] I'm a whole person, everybody.

S2

[2:28] I have hopes and dreams.

[2:31] You're a main character.

Dan McCoy

[2:32] Dan is the supportive character.

[2:34] No, that's fine.

[2:35] I'm just, you know, if you're listening to this podcast and you're wondering the chain

[2:40] of events that led us here, one of the links is our wedding.

Elliott Kalan

[2:46] No, but it's very much, she's the Jean Grady or Cyclops, Dan.

[2:49] She's the hero of the story and it turns out you're just the supporting character.

Stuart Wellington

[2:52] Yeah.

[2:52] And so who would that make you?

Elliott Kalan

[2:54] Yeah.

[2:54] I'm Nightcrawler or Beast.

[2:56] Everyone knows it.

[2:57] Maybe I'm one character made up of the two of them, Night Beast.

[2:59] And Stuart is, of course, Callisto, leader of the Morlocks.

[3:03] Oh, yeah.

[3:03] Oh, man, Callisto rules.

[3:05] Yeah, she's awesome.

S2

[3:05] Hey, how did you guys know I was always Jean Grey when we would play X-Men when we were

[3:09] kids?

Dan McCoy

[3:09] Just context clues.

[3:11] Well, I'm done adjusting everyone's microphone slightly, so let's get into the movie.

[3:15] What do we do on this podcast, Dan?

[3:16] Oh, sorry.

Dan McCoy

[3:16] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[3:19] And let's be clear from the top.

[3:21] I would say that House of Gucci got mixed reviews.

[3:25] I think this is right on the edge of something we might cover on the show.

[3:28] On the edge of glory?

[3:29] I think it was.

Elliott Kalan

[3:30] I mean, the fact that we're covering on the show means it's squarely something we're covering

[3:34] on the show.

Dan McCoy

[3:34] No, that's true.

[3:35] That's true.

[3:36] That's true.

[3:36] But I...

Elliott Kalan

[3:36] You got him, Elliot.

[3:37] Boom.

[3:38] Yeah.

[3:38] By definition.

[3:39] Take him away, officer.

Dan McCoy

[3:40] I just want to say that we didn't, like, walk into this one necessarily assuming, like,

[3:46] the worst as sometimes we might.

[3:48] Oh, no, true.

[3:48] Even though I do think that we try and have an open mind about all of the movies we watch.

[3:53] We don't want to just be jerks about it.

Stuart Wellington

[3:54] I mean, hell, this is a movie that will most likely get nominated for some kind of awards.

[3:59] Certainly.

[3:59] Certainly for acting and makeup awards.

[4:02] Yeah.

[4:02] It'll be nominated.

Dan McCoy

[4:04] But, you know, it has had some detractors.

[4:07] We'll see whether we agree with it.

[4:09] But also, you know, during the pandemic, it was, you know, it's easy for things to be technically

[4:15] flops at this particular time in history.

Elliott Kalan

[4:17] I mean, it's actually, it's already made much more than its budget.

[4:20] It's technically a box office success.

[4:22] Okay.

[4:22] So...

Dan McCoy

[4:23] Well, maybe it's just that we wanted to watch something that we might enjoy for once.

[4:26] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[4:27] I mean, when it comes down to it, listeners, if you are mad that we decided to watch a

[4:31] movie that we thought ahead of time might not be bad, then I'm sorry.

[4:35] If we're not combining ourselves to the narrow purview that you've come to expect and assume

[4:40] and demand from us.

[4:42] We need pleasure in our lives, too.

S2

[4:44] Times are really rough.

[4:45] Everyone deserves joy.

Elliott Kalan

[4:46] Yeah.

[4:47] Yeah, exactly.

[4:47] Thank you.

S2

[4:48] Or not.

[4:49] We'll see.

Elliott Kalan

[4:49] No spoilers.

[4:51] In this episode of The Flophouse.

[4:54] Dan, let's start the show.

[4:54] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[4:55] So, this is a movie called House of Gucci.

[4:58] It's about the Gucci fashion family.

[5:02] A particular chapter of their lives.

[5:05] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[5:06] Should we do a quick warning that we're probably going to do a bunch of bad accents?

[5:09] Yeah.

[5:10] Absolutely.

Elliott Kalan

[5:11] I mean, so, yeah.

[5:13] So, anyone listening to this episode.

[5:14] House of Gucci didn't warn us, but...

[5:15] That's...

[5:16] The House of Gucci makes the strange, interesting choice that even though the actors are all

[5:20] speaking in English, because they are Italian characters, they will speak with Italian accents

[5:23] with varying degrees of cartoonishness.

[5:26] So, going from Jeremy Irons, who speaks with an English accent tinged with Italian, to Jared

[5:31] Leto, who speaks as Chico Markswood in his scenes.

Dan McCoy

[5:34] Now, you say that, but there have been several articles out there saying, like, that Jared Leto

[5:38] is actually the one who does it the best.

[5:40] Well, except he...

[5:41] As comical as his character is.

Elliott Kalan

[5:43] But he does...

[5:44] We'll get to it.

[5:44] There's one part where there's a joke that comes up a couple times that's based on a mispronunciation,

[5:49] which does not make sense if they're supposed to be speaking Italian.

[5:52] Yeah.

[5:53] That he refers to a mouse as a moose a couple times, which is a Chico-type joke.

[5:58] And if they're speaking Italian, why would he get those words mixed up?

[6:01] That joke only makes sense if they're speaking English with an Italian accent.

[6:04] I don't know the Italian words for mouse and moose.

[6:07] Maybe they also sound similar, but I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[6:09] That's a separate issue.

[6:10] That is the...

[6:11] Yeah.

[6:11] As you say, the weird trick that movies try to pull once in a while, where it's just like,

[6:17] maybe they'll think we're speaking this language if we speak with an accent of that language.

Elliott Kalan

[6:21] That someone who's playing a Russian character, if they're not Sean Connery, will speak with

[6:25] a Russian accent, even though they're speaking English.

[6:27] Or how everyone in ancient Rome has an English accent.

[6:30] You know, that's just how...

[6:31] It's just the way we do movies here in the US of A, because not everyone can have our beautiful

[6:35] American accents.

S2

[6:36] Do you think it's better if there's no accents at all?

[6:38] Or do you think it's better when, like, a death of silence situation where everyone just

[6:44] is like, buck wild, let's do whatever we want?

[6:46] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[6:47] Well, what do you guys think...

[6:48] What do you say, Stu?

[6:49] I feel like a consistency is key.

[6:51] Yes.

[6:51] I feel like House of Gucci kind of, like, that's highlighted here, because Lady Gaga's accent

[6:56] is a little bit...

[6:58] It feels a little bit...

[6:59] It's more Eastern European.

[7:00] Yeah, a little bit Count Dracula, but she's very consistent with it.

[7:03] Just like Jared Leto is a lot like the Atsumata bit from the...

[7:07] What is it?

[7:08] The Looney Tunes cartoon?

[7:10] Yeah.

[7:10] Yeah, I mean, Jared Leto is playing the guy on the box from the pizza store.

Elliott Kalan

[7:15] Like, he might as well have his fingers in an OK symbol, kissing his own fingers, going,

[7:21] ooh, that's so nice.

[7:22] That's so nice.

Dan McCoy

[7:23] It's funny you say that, Stuart, because that is what I said to Audrey when we were talking

[7:27] about accents.

[7:27] It's like the thing that bothers me the most, when I think something's a bad accent, it's

[7:32] when, like, an actor seems just at sea and just, like, keeps shifting it within the scene.

[7:36] Like, what matters to me most is consistency of accent, and everyone on this movie is doing

[7:40] totally different things, but they're all internally consistent to themselves.

S2

[7:44] So I was reading something about what Lady Gaga's process was, and she really spoke in this

[7:51] accent for months and months and months.

Elliott Kalan

[7:54] For nine straight months, she only spoke with this accent.

S2

[7:56] Yeah, and she also will change dialects, so she starts off with a dialect where she's supposed

[8:02] to be from in the movie, and depending on who she's talking to and depending on what the

[8:08] situation is and where the time of her life she's at, she will change the accent and inflections.

[8:15] So there's a lot of thought that goes into it, but people who are Italian speakers who study

[8:20] the language still think it's not that great, but it's really thoughtful.

Elliott Kalan

[8:26] And that strikes me as a performer putting too much thought into it.

[8:30] Instead of, they're thinking, how would this person, how would their voice really change?

[8:34] Because the character she's playing, which we'll get into, is very much a chameleon who

[8:37] wants to seem different ways to different people.

[8:39] But to the audience at home, who is only going to experience this character for about two and

[8:42] a half hours and all at once, and who probably doesn't know that much about Italian dialects,

[8:49] I certainly don't, it comes off as her being somewhat inconsistent.

[8:52] Ironically, I don't know if you guys feel this way, the person I thought had the least

[8:55] consistent accent was Al Pacino, a man who has made movies where he's shot scenes in Italy

[9:00] before, who is an Italian-American, like, who spoke Italian in a movie.

[9:04] So it's, and he's the one where it seemed like at certain points he was supposed to be like,

[9:07] he was like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm playing, I'm not playing Jimmy Hoffa, I'm an Italian character.

S2

[9:10] Yeah, I think it's really hard when you're, like, Italian-American is very different

[9:14] from like an Italian person accent.

Stuart Wellington

[9:16] Yeah.

[9:17] Oh, I just remembered his Jimmy Hoffa accent, which was like in and out of Chicago.

Dan McCoy

[9:23] It's wild.

[9:25] Well, okay, let's, I, there will be more accent talk, we promise, but let's get into the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[9:30] But yeah, but, but, but that was, that was all because the warning that we'll probably be

[9:33] doing fairly insulting Italian accents at some point during this, or cartoonish, let's say.

[9:38] They're done with love for the Italian people and their great culture and all the wonderful

[9:41] things they've brought.

[9:42] I still dream, my dream, my travel dream is I want to go with my family to Italy and

[9:47] drive down the entire, drive south through the entire country.

[9:49] That's something, I don't, I don't think there's anything else in the world I want to do more

[9:52] than that.

[9:52] So, so anytime I make a pizza voice.

[9:54] Can you drive six?

[9:56] I'll learn, I'll learn for that trip.

[9:58] Yeah.

[9:58] No, he's driving a car.

[9:59] I'm sure they'll all.

[10:00] Yeah, no, no, we're going to use a stick like a broomstick.

[10:02] We're going to be playing Quidditch all the way down the nation.

Dan McCoy

[10:05] I'm sure they'll all forgive you, Elliot, knowing that you so desperately want to be a

[10:09] tourist in their country.

[10:12] Anyway, speaking of voices.

[10:13] Sorry, Dan.

[10:14] Wow.

[10:15] Speaking of voices, the movie begins with a voiceover from Lady Gaga as we hear about how

[10:21] coveted Gucci is, like what a revered name it is, and Adam Driver is drinking coffee and

[10:28] riding a bicycle and doing all sorts of Italian things.

Elliott Kalan

[10:32] And it's not just any coffee, it's a tiny little Italian coffee where they always show him sitting

[10:37] there for a while and then he takes a sip out of that cup and I'm like, how many sips

[10:40] could he really be taken out of that little cup?

[10:41] Like, come on.

[10:42] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[10:42] And there's two weird moments in this where she's like, you will save all your life just

[10:48] so you can have enough money so you can afford the second cheapest thing in a Gucci store.

[10:54] Newsflash, you won't.

[10:55] And I'm like, you don't know me?

[10:58] And then also, this is one of those fucking movies where they start at the end, right?

[11:02] Like, this is the moments before he's like, I'm going to live forever and then a dude comes

[11:08] and smokes him.

[11:08] Spoiler alert.

[11:09] So, yeah.

[11:11] So, I'm just so like, I don't know about you guys, but I'm very tired of this unless it

[11:16] really matters.

[11:16] Wait, what's happening over here?

S2

[11:18] I had no idea.

[11:19] In my notes, I have it at the end.

[11:21] It's like, oh, he's riding a bike again.

[11:24] And in my notes, I have, after this scene, light sepia filter to show us that this is

[11:29] in the past, but I didn't connect.

[11:31] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[11:32] Yeah.

[11:32] That was the same time.

[11:34] Yeah, the scene ends with the guy being like, Senior Gucci, and he's about to pull out his

[11:37] silenced pistola.

Elliott Kalan

[11:39] Well, it's a really weird way they do it, because you're right, Stuart.

[11:42] This is something that we've seen a lot now, where it's like, we're going to start at the

[11:46] end, then it's like, hey, you're probably wondering how me, the heir to the Gucci fortune,

[11:50] got assassinated.

[11:52] Well, let me tell you, it's a weird story.

[11:53] But I didn't know the Gucci story beforehand.

[11:56] So, I knew something bad was about to happen, because otherwise, why show this?

[12:00] But it feels strange to not show what's going to happen to him, so that you get, because

[12:07] if you don't know the story, then you're like, I guess somebody's about to interrupt him while

[12:11] he had an otherwise nice day.

Dan McCoy

[12:12] I say, someone calls his name presumably the hitman, but my knowledge of it comes from,

[12:18] you know, knowing that this movie exists.

S2

[12:20] But I think you do that, right?

[12:22] You do that when it's at the height of action.

[12:24] So, like, it would make more sense if you see Gucci as a brand, and you see how famous

[12:30] everyone is, and like, how successful it is.

[12:33] And then you drop, you know, the murder, and then you rewind.

[12:38] But this just shows us a guy on a bike who just had a coffee, and it's just kind of like

[12:43] hanging out.

Elliott Kalan

[12:44] And that's the thing, that gets to my, I think maybe my biggest issue with the movie, and

[12:48] I'll, this is a movie that I liked a lot of, but didn't like all of, which is that

[12:52] I'm not a fashionista.

[12:54] I know the name Gucci, but I don't know much about it.

[12:56] He's a madmanista.

[12:57] I know what you're saying.

[12:58] But I'm more of a, I guess I'm more of a Sandinista, but, which is someone who loves

[13:04] sand.

[13:04] The Clash album, or just a...

[13:05] No, I love sand because it gets everywhere, and it's very rough.

[13:08] But the, that, I don't, I needed a primer at the beginning that was kind of, and I didn't

[13:13] want them to do like a Star Wars letter, word crawl, but I don't really know where

[13:17] Gucci fits in the fashion world.

[13:18] And for the first hour and 20 minutes of this movie, it's just kind of taken for granted

[13:22] that you know what Gucci is, why it's desirable.

[13:25] And so when they're arguing, they're like, this is Gucci.

[13:27] This isn't just any, this isn't Versace, it's Gucci.

[13:29] I was like, I don't know.

[13:31] I don't know what.

[13:31] So I wish that there was some scene in the beginning that kind of set up, because later,

[13:35] there's a line later on where Adam Driver goes, Versace, it's like you're at a, at a Hollywood

[13:39] premiere.

[13:39] And this other one's like this, Gucci, it's the Vatican of fashion.

[13:42] And I was like, I wish someone had said this in the first seven minutes of the movie.

[13:45] Because I would have understood what, like kind of why people felt this way.

Dan McCoy

[13:49] Well, I think this movie kind of, in some ways, wants to be a Martin Scorsese movie.

[13:54] And he like toyed with doing it at one point, the script.

[13:59] And I think that a Scorsese version of this.

Elliott Kalan

[14:01] He teased with doing it.

[14:02] He was like, maybe have some Gucci.

[14:04] Maybe.

[14:05] I just know I won't do a Marvel movie.

[14:08] You know what?

[14:09] Maybe I'll do Shutter Island instead.

[14:11] Wow.

[14:13] I'll do you.

[14:14] I'll do you have some Gucci.

[14:15] I'm just kidding.

[14:15] I'll make silence.

[14:18] Gucci, it's me, Max Scorsese.

[14:19] What a breakster.

Stuart Wellington

[14:20] It's like, sorry, Martin.

[14:21] There's not enough Rolling Stones songs that are blended with Italian opera songs.

[14:26] So you can't do this movie.

Dan McCoy

[14:27] I mean, it makes more sense.

[14:29] Hold on.

[14:29] Let me close off the point of why I brought Max Scorsese up.

[14:32] Okay.

[14:33] Yeah, because we'll talk about the needle drops later.

[14:35] The Marty Scorsese version of this movie would have what you want.

[14:38] Yes, it would have.

[14:39] I think it would be focused on a lot of process and history.

[14:43] And then like.

[14:43] So what would the Wong Kar Wai version be?

S2

[14:46] Because he was also up to direct this movie around 2016.

[14:50] The Wong.

[14:51] Well, and so.

[14:52] That would be beautiful.

Elliott Kalan

[14:53] The Wong Kar Wai movie version of this movie would have had another thing this movie is missing,

[14:57] which is that this movie, as we'll get into it, is very cold.

[14:59] It's a Ridley Scott movie.

[15:01] And this movie should have been warm and hot.

[15:03] It should have been.

[15:04] Yeah.

[15:04] It should have been.

[15:06] It should be a passionate movie.

[15:07] Yeah.

[15:07] But since it's Ridley Scott, it's a very cold movie.

[15:09] And like when I was watching it, I was like, I wish Almodovar had made this movie.

[15:13] Like I wish.

[15:13] Oh, totally.

[15:14] And the performers are trying to get it to that level.

[15:17] But Ridley Scott is such a cool guy.

[15:20] What works in Alien or like, I don't know, Matchstick Man, you know, isn't quite right for this.

[15:25] But anyway, also, but someone mentioned the music.

[15:28] We'll get to the needle drops later because there's some.

[15:30] This one is, oh boy.

Stuart Wellington

[15:32] Some totally work for me.

Dan McCoy

[15:34] Yeah.

[15:34] No, I wrote down some.

[15:35] Yeah.

[15:36] Okay.

[15:36] Anyway.

[15:37] Yeah.

[15:37] So we flashback in time to, I think, I think the 70s.

[15:40] I didn't get the year.

Elliott Kalan

[15:42] 1978 Milan, it says on the title, on the screen.

Dan McCoy

[15:45] And Lady Gaga is being ogled by construction workers as she goes to her job as her dad's secretary.

S2

[15:52] She should really park closer to the trailer because she parks like three blocks down and walks across.

[15:57] She likes it.

Elliott Kalan

[15:59] She wants, you know, most women I assume don't want this, but Lady Gaga seems to really enjoy these cat calls.

S2

[16:04] I think that's what the movie is trying to say.

[16:07] Yeah.

[16:07] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[16:07] This character, Patrizia Reggiano, right?

[16:11] Yeah.

[16:11] She knows what she, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[16:12] I'll call her Lady Gaga and I'll probably call, what's his name, Maurizio?

[16:17] Maurizio Gucci.

[16:18] I'll call him Adam Driver for the most part.

[16:20] You know how it goes in this podcast.

[16:22] Anyway, she gets a call to go out that night.

[16:25] She's in a club.

[16:26] We're on the radio by Donna Summer is playing.

[16:29] And Adam Driver's behind the bar.

[16:31] Lady Gaga tries to order a drink from him and he's like, I'm not a bartender.

[16:34] But he's never really explained why he's behind the bar.

[16:38] He's just looking for a drink.

[16:39] There's no bartender.

[16:40] You need to meet cute and that's it.

Stuart Wellington

[16:43] And he's like charmingly befuddled.

[16:46] Like he is a straight nerd at this point, right?

Elliott Kalan

[16:48] Yeah.

[16:48] He is very awkward.

[16:50] And so my guess is that he felt weird talking to the bartender.

[16:53] So he waited for the bartender to go on break so he could go back behind the bar and get

[16:56] himself a drink.

[16:57] That's my guess.

[16:58] Seen it before.

[16:58] Yeah.

S2

[16:59] So at this point I was like team Lady Gaga, fun woman, looks at this shy, awkward man and

[17:07] it's like, oh, he's kind of cute.

Elliott Kalan

[17:09] Wait, why are you looking at me?

S2

[17:11] No, because you're doing the summary.

[17:14] So I was letting you go.

Elliott Kalan

[17:17] There's no deeper implication there.

[17:19] No.

[17:19] Okay.

[17:20] No deeper implication about kind of a cool, stylish lady who set her eyes on kind of a geeky,

[17:26] kind of nerdy, kind of quiet guy who ends up turning into monsters.

[17:31] I feel like stiff is a really good term.

[17:33] Yeah.

[17:33] Stiff, pale, just kind of like effectless.

[17:36] But also like self-interested.

S2

[17:38] It's so weird how Adam Driver kept quoting Sherlock Holmes while he was behind the bar.

Elliott Kalan

[17:43] It was like Lady Gaga wouldn't like this.

[17:47] Quoting Shrek.

[17:49] Quoting Shrek.

[17:50] That would be so, I would buy that anachronism so hard.

[17:53] As a Shrek says.

[17:55] The one thing out of time on this.

[17:59] As a Shrek says, I believe in a fairy tale.

[18:02] No, that's not even.

[18:03] Somebody once told me the world is going to roll me.

[18:07] I'm talking about my reputation.

[18:11] It's another song that's in it.

Dan McCoy

[18:13] Yeah.

[18:13] All the famous Shrek quotes we were finding out are just songs that were in Shrek.

[18:17] Other than Donkey.

[18:19] There's no.

S2

[18:20] There's an onion quote that's famous from Shrek.

Dan McCoy

[18:24] An onion quote?

[18:25] Yeah.

[18:26] About onions?

[18:28] Yeah.

[18:29] He's got layers.

[18:30] He's got layers.

[18:30] Oh, okay.

[18:31] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:31] I think you're thinking of Harriet the Spy.

[18:34] Which is a lot like Shrek.

Dan McCoy

[18:36] Anyway.

[18:37] So, they dance together.

[18:40] Adam Driver's uncomfortable.

[18:41] He doesn't seem to know how to dance.

[18:42] But she's, you know, cutting a rug.

[18:44] And Lady Gaga has clearly set her eye to this man.

[18:48] She makes it her business that they will run into each other at, I guess, the library?

[18:54] Is that where they were?

S2

[18:55] It's like a school bookstore?

Dan McCoy

[18:57] Yeah.

[18:58] Because he's like, what are you studying?

[18:58] He's in a university bookstore.

Elliott Kalan

[19:00] I see.

[19:00] Because he's in law school.

[19:01] Yeah.

[19:01] And yeah, she's following him around town trying to find the perfect place to bump into him.

[19:06] Because, and it's one of those things where it's like, okay.

[19:08] I was watching the movie.

[19:09] I'm like, it's early on.

[19:10] I don't know whether this is supposed to be creepy or it's supposed to be cute.

[19:13] And as the movie goes on, you're like, okay, it was creepy.

[19:16] But at the time, it could be cute.

S2

[19:17] I just realized something.

[19:18] There was a guy following them around in a car.

[19:20] I don't know who that is still.

Dan McCoy

[19:22] That's the guy who's the lawyer, I believe, right?

Elliott Kalan

[19:25] I don't think so.

[19:26] I think that was kind of like, there's this guy following around.

[19:30] It looked like it, at first I thought it was a goon who was spying on him.

[19:32] But then I think it might just have been his driver.

[19:34] Which, it's ironic that Adam Driver needs a driver.

S2

[19:37] Like, why would Adam Driver need a driver?

[19:38] He's already a driver.

[19:41] It's like, why does a mini driver have a driver?

[19:42] Come on.

[19:43] All right.

Elliott Kalan

[19:43] You've got to write that in the goofs.

[19:47] IMDB goofs.

[19:48] Wait, why did they make such a big deal out of it?

[19:50] Like, I thought it was.

[19:52] At first, because it was, yeah, it was weird.

[19:53] They made a big deal of it.

[19:55] And they made it seem as if he didn't know this guy was following him.

[19:57] But then later, he's just talking to him.

[19:59] So I think it was just.

Dan McCoy

[19:59] Well, I thought he worked for his dad, who was, like, concerned about, like, what he might be up to.

[20:05] It's very unclear, you know.

Elliott Kalan

[20:08] But it's not a, I don't think it's Domenico, the lawyer, who becomes a bigger and bigger character.

Dan McCoy

[20:12] Anyway, Lady Gaga stands in front of his Vespa until he crumbles to ask her out.

[20:19] And she writes her phone number on his Vespa windshield and lipstick.

[20:23] You have your hands.

[20:24] Audrey, you don't need to raise your hand unless Elliot's talking.

S2

[20:27] Well, part of a silent gesture is so that you can see it.

Elliott Kalan

[20:32] Audrey, Audrey, we still haven't figured that out.

[20:34] We've been doing this for almost 15 years.

[20:36] We still haven't figured out how to notify each other that we want to say something.

Dan McCoy

[20:39] I find that the clumsier the show is, the more people like it.

[20:43] Sure, sure.

[20:43] Sure.

[20:43] Tell yourself that.

[20:44] Tell yourself that, yeah.

S2

[20:46] She puts, let's just make this clear, because I don't know if you guys picked up on this, but she put her number on the windshield and then she used the lipstick.

[20:58] Uh-huh.

[20:58] That is so disgusting.

[20:59] It's not normal, right?

[21:00] Gross.

[21:01] Did Charlene say, because I know she recommended it last week.

Stuart Wellington

[21:05] Yeah, Char didn't point that out, and that's a big thing.

[21:08] Maybe, I mean, maybe it's an Italian thing, but maybe like bugs and dirt are a key part of getting a perfect lip.

[21:16] You're right.

S2

[21:17] I don't know how the Italians do lipstick, so maybe it's part of it.

[21:21] I think it's just a movie, guys.

[21:22] Oh, boy.

Elliott Kalan

[21:22] I think she's just trying to be sexy in the movie.

[21:25] It's like there's a scene in the movie The Believer with Ryan Gosling where he throws up and then his girlfriend gives him a kiss right afterwards to like calm him down, and it's disgusting.

[21:33] No, thanks.

[21:33] It's like, oh, gross.

[21:35] Oh, no.

Dan McCoy

[21:36] So they have a nice date together, and it culminates in an awkward kiss in a rowboat where they're just kind of trying to balance.

[21:43] I feel like awkward describes a lot of their romance.

Elliott Kalan

[21:45] Yeah.

[21:45] It's a fairly awkward date.

[21:47] It's like she doesn't want to go into a fancy restaurant, so they kind of awkwardly hold street food, and then they get into a rowboat that they almost fall out of over and over again.

[21:55] This is a montage.

Dan McCoy

[21:56] She's wearing different outfits, so these are separate dates.

Elliott Kalan

[21:59] Oh, these are different awkward dates.

[22:00] Yeah.

[22:01] So they're not getting any more comfortable with each other.

[22:04] She's really forcing the issue with him.

Dan McCoy

[22:05] Yeah.

[22:06] Well, okay.

[22:06] Well, enter Adam Driver's dad, Jeremy Irons, who makes no particular effort at an accent, and he dials back the natural Jeremy Irons ham factor quite a bit.

Stuart Wellington

[22:19] Yeah, because I was like, he doesn't even sound like Scar.

[22:22] He doesn't sound like Scar at all.

Elliott Kalan

[22:24] He doesn't sound like a lion.

[22:26] He doesn't.

[22:27] He doesn't look like a lion.

S2

[22:28] Although he looks like, what I have written down here is if they took John Waters and somebody was like, take John Waters and make him straight.

[22:37] And that's like.

[22:37] Yes.

[22:38] Yeah.

[22:38] He's straight John Waters.

Stuart Wellington

[22:39] There's another scene where he's dressed up and my note says, Duna Dane goes to the Met Gala.

Elliott Kalan

[22:46] And he's playing Rodolfo Gucci.

[22:49] Yeah.

[22:49] Who was.

[22:50] So we start to get a little bit of the Gucci family tree here.

[22:53] Dan, you want me to lay it out for you?

Dan McCoy

[22:55] Yeah.

[22:55] We'll get into it.

[22:56] But I think maybe having it ahead of time will be helpful.

Elliott Kalan

[22:58] So the founder of Gucci was Gucci O'Gucci.

[23:03] And of his children, the ones who are now running the company in the movie are his sons, Rudolfo Gucci, who was an actor who then became, I guess, a designer for the company.

[23:13] And his brother, Aldo Gucci, who will later meet by Al Pacino.

[23:16] And Aldo Gucci has been kind of running the business side of the business.

[23:20] And Rudolfo, Jerry Myers, is Adam Driver's dad.

[23:23] And Al Pacino is the father of Jared Leto's character, Paolo Gucci, who is very, as Danielle said, when we were watching, the Fredo of the movie, of the family.

[23:30] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[23:31] Totally the Fredo.

[23:32] If that movie had come out in the 90s, Joe Pesci would have killed that fucking role.

Dan McCoy

[23:36] Fredo is, Audrey's got a quizzical look.

[23:39] So Fredo is the goofy brother in the Corleone family, the one that no one trusts with the legacy.

Elliott Kalan

[23:48] He's the one who, he should be next in line after James Caan's character Sonny dies, but he's older than Michael.

[23:54] Not too many spoilers.

[23:55] And he's like, I'm smart.

[23:56] Oh, sorry.

[23:57] I'm smart.

[23:58] I'm your older brother, Michael.

[24:00] But he's a moron.

[24:01] And so they're like, you go to Las Vegas and just be an idiot.

[24:04] Just go do that, you know.

Dan McCoy

[24:06] So anyway, they all go out to lunch together.

[24:09] And Jeremy Irons is, you know, like, taken enough with Lady Gaga, but is like, okay, he learns that her dad works in, quote,

[24:18] ground transportation, which brands her as a poor in his eyes.

Elliott Kalan

[24:23] And possibly part of the mafia.

[24:27] He says if her dad runs trucks, he's part of the mafia.

[24:31] She's lower class.

[24:32] And he goes, make her your mistress, but you don't marry her.

[24:34] Yeah.

[24:35] This is, it's like in the marvelous Mrs. Maisel, when Joel brings his rebound girlfriend, his secretary, they left Mrs. Maisel forward to his parents.

[24:44] And his dad is like, have sex with her.

[24:47] Do whatever you want.

[24:47] But you do not marry this girl.

[24:48] You don't marry a girl like this.

Stuart Wellington

[24:50] And I don't know about you guys, but at least when I was a teenager and my dad didn't like my girlfriend, him complaining about it to me did not make it make me not want to see her.

[24:58] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[24:59] No.

[25:00] Sorry, Mark.

[25:02] Maybe he's playing a classic reverse psychology game where he's like, I love these two, but he's so awkward.

[25:08] Maybe I'll ignite their passion.

[25:10] Yeah.

[25:10] Which is, you know what, which is just the plot of the Fantastics.

[25:12] Maybe he just saw the Fantastics on Broadway.

Dan McCoy

[25:16] Could be.

[25:16] Yeah, so, yes.

[25:19] And Adam Driver has a little monologue about Jeremy Irons' character's regrets and ghosts, which like, Audrey and I both felt unearned at that point in the movie because we're like, we have no idea who you are, Jeremy Irons.

S2

[25:31] We're both jotting stuff down and once in a while we see something and we both start typing and then we look and it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[25:38] Then we high five and then we dance.

[25:42] This movie took us six hours to watch.

[25:44] We dance like a wave on the ocean.

Elliott Kalan

[25:45] Yeah, no.

[25:46] Romance.

[25:46] It sounds like you really made the most out of it.

[25:48] Yeah.

[25:49] You know, made it experience.

[25:49] It's a real night in.

[25:50] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[25:52] Anyway, he says he's going to marry.

Elliott Kalan

[25:53] How did the other people in the theater take it when you would just yell, stop the movie and then dance for a little bit?

S2

[25:59] We're like, you don't understand theater and then we high five some more.

[26:02] Uh-huh.

Elliott Kalan

[26:03] And somebody's like, they have a podcast.

Dan McCoy

[26:08] Yeah, then we high five that person.

[26:11] So he says he's going to marry her and Adam Driver shows up at.

[26:16] At her parents for her hand in marriage.

[26:18] And it's like, I'm, I just split with my father.

[26:21] So I have nothing to offer.

[26:22] So can I have a job with you?

[26:24] He takes a job with her dad and we see him.

[26:28] I found this very charming at this point.

[26:30] Yeah.

[26:31] An Italian cover of I'm a believer.

[26:33] The monkey song starts playing and he's spraying trucks off with water.

Elliott Kalan

[26:37] Which is in Shrek.

[26:38] Wait a minute.

[26:39] That's in Shrek House of Gucci connection.

Dan McCoy

[26:42] We did it.

[26:43] House of Shrek-y.

[26:45] But Adam Driver clearly is charming everyone by he gets into water fights.

[26:49] I love it.

[26:49] Other truck guys.

[26:51] Yeah, they're having hose fights and playing soccer.

Elliott Kalan

[26:53] He loves being a truck man.

[26:54] Speaking of hose fights.

[26:56] I mean, it's the best job in the, it's the best job in the world.

[26:59] You just play with, have fun with your friends.

[27:00] In the middle of the day, your wife calls you into the office and you have sex.

[27:03] And like, that's it.

[27:03] That's your job.

Dan McCoy

[27:04] As Stuart was saying, speaking of hose fights, Lady Gaga finds the soccer so cute that she

[27:10] calls him to the office and they have sex while opera plays and his sex style is jackhammer

[27:16] hard.

Elliott Kalan

[27:17] It looks not, it does not look pleasant for either of them.

[27:21] They don't really seem to enjoy themselves.

S2

[27:23] And they also lingered on it in a way that they're like, like what I have is unbearably

[27:28] long sex scenes.

[27:29] It's like Ridley Scott was like stretched for time.

Stuart Wellington

[27:33] And Stuart's like, thank God a movie has a fucking sex scene.

[27:37] Well, they're like, fumble with a button some more.

Elliott Kalan

[27:40] I know.

Stuart Wellington

[27:41] And she's wearing her cute shit underneath her dress.

[27:43] It's great.

[27:44] Thumbs up, says Stuart.

Elliott Kalan

[27:45] But there's something, it's like, it's a very sexy scene until they start actually having

[27:49] sex.

[27:50] And then it's like, and then it's like you're slowly driving by a car wreck and you're

[27:53] like, I should be going faster.

[27:54] Let's get this scene.

[27:55] Part of the charm.

[27:56] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[27:56] When they're like grunting like animals.

[27:58] I love it.

S2

[27:58] Can I just say that you look at Adam Driver and Lady Gaga and you don't think that they would

[28:03] really go well together.

[28:04] But I think they have good chemistry and I think like it makes sense to see the two of

[28:09] them on screen together.

Stuart Wellington

[28:10] Yeah.

[28:11] At least in these early scenes, I think.

[28:13] And I like, I like their later scenes too.

[28:15] Basically, I like the scenes with them more than basically anything else in this movie.

[28:19] But like they're, they're like charming.

[28:21] They're like super awkward and charming and like nerdy.

[28:24] I kind of like it.

Elliott Kalan

[28:26] Yeah.

[28:26] I think they're, they, I think their performances are, are, yeah, they're at pretty much exactly

[28:32] the pitch they should be at for this movie.

[28:34] And I wish the movie was like meeting them at it.

[28:37] Cause they're, they're like, they're just like a little bit above realistic, you know?

[28:41] Yeah.

[28:41] But, but I mean, Lady Gaga has not, I'm not surprised at all by this, but she's just a,

[28:46] I think she's a really good actress, you know?

[28:47] No, she's amazing.

[28:48] And she can, especially, especially a role like this that plays to her theatricality, you know?

S2

[28:51] And I think she's good at roles too, like, cause the other one is, uh, what's the shallow

[28:57] movie?

[28:57] A Star is Born.

[28:58] A Star is Born, where it's like these very ambitious, like clawing to the top type women

[29:04] that she's particularly good at.

Elliott Kalan

[29:07] The problem with, I had the problem, the problem I have with A Star is Born is it's the same

[29:11] problem I have with any movie that Madonna's in except for A League of Their Own.

[29:14] You don't like women?

[29:16] I hate women.

[29:17] So I'm like, replace this character with a man.

[29:19] No, is that it's hard.

[29:20] A man, Gaga?

[29:22] I'm sorry.

[29:22] Yeah.

[29:23] Sir Gaga.

[29:24] Is that, Lord Gaga, yeah.

[29:26] Is that they are so powerfully charismatic in their, their personas as who they are that

[29:31] it's hard to see them as, as something else.

[29:33] So luckily she's playing such a theatrical character here that I'm like, okay, that's

[29:37] this.

[29:37] Whereas in, uh, in A Star is Born when she's first hanging out and she's just singing in

[29:40] a bar, I was like, but that's Lady Gaga.

Stuart Wellington

[29:42] Like what's Lady Gaga doing there?

Dan McCoy

[29:43] Like put her on, she's going to be in an arena.

[29:45] Is anyone else seeing this?

[29:47] But she's also very good, like in this movie, in the early scenes, playing someone who's

[29:51] kind of like small and cute and like doesn't seem to be kind of like the-

Elliott Kalan

[29:58] No, but it's, but theatrically small.

[29:59] Yes.

[29:59] Theatrically small.

[30:00] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[30:01] Um, anyway, so-

Elliott Kalan

[30:02] Well, that's that you kind of, you don't know for a little bit whether she is, whether,

[30:05] yeah, whether she's the, the, the innocent who's going to be corrupted by the Gucci family

[30:08] or if she's the all about Eve character who's going to, who's going to bring corruption to

[30:13] them.

[30:13] Yeah.

[30:13] And I think that's a really, that's really good on her part.

Dan McCoy

[30:15] Yeah.

[30:16] Um, well anyway, they get married, uh, with hardly anyone on the groom's side.

[30:20] George Michael's Faith plays.

Stuart Wellington

[30:22] Not my favorite of the needle drops, let me tell you.

Elliott Kalan

[30:25] No, it is.

[30:26] This is the one where I was like, I could, I, I spent so much time trying to work out

[30:29] the mathematics of why this is the song to play in this, in this scene.

[30:33] And I just couldn't do that math.

[30:35] So someone write in.

[30:36] But also I really want to know, there's one, there's two people who are on the groom's side.

[30:39] This like kind of elderly couple or like a couple in their fifties or sixties.

[30:43] And I was like, I want to know who they are.

[30:44] Like who is, who are the, the one Gucci couple who decided to show up at his wedding?

Dan McCoy

[30:49] Uh, so Aldo Gucci, uh, arrives in the movie at this point, Al Pacino.

[30:54] Uh, he sees about the wedding in a magazine and, uh, he goes to see Jeremy Irons.

[31:00] They are both, uh, 50, 50, uh, partners in the Gucci business.

[31:04] He comes in.

Elliott Kalan

[31:05] Did you, did you think it was, did you think it was weird that, so the paparazzi are taking

[31:09] pictures at the wedding and the, and it goes, the movie goes to black and white as the pictures

[31:13] are being taken.

[31:14] But when Aldo picks up the magazine, the picture is in color that he sees.

[31:18] Oh, interesting.

[31:18] So I don't know why.

[31:20] There's a couple of stylistic choices in the movie like that where I'm like, why is it

[31:23] doing this?

[31:24] Like, hold on.

[31:24] I don't, but anyway.

[31:25] What did we watch?

Dan McCoy

[31:26] French Dispatch.

[31:27] French Dispatch.

[31:27] Audrey was like, how do you feel about it going back and forth from black and white to color?

[31:31] I'm like, I don't mind, but it doesn't, it does not seem to have any rhyme or reason

[31:34] in the, in that movie either.

[31:36] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[31:36] And, and, uh, I'm going to talk about French Dispatch maybe a little bit later in the episode,

[31:39] but, uh, that was something in it where I was like, it was like, yeah, why I don't, I

[31:44] don't know why he's switching between these two things, you know?

Dan McCoy

[31:46] Uh, anyway, uh, so Aldo's here in part, he talks about, uh, you know, building a mall

[31:52] in Japan and Jeremy Adams is too tied to the old ways and Gucci has this luxury brand.

[31:57] He doesn't want to, you know, make it for the masses, but also Aldo is there to tell

[32:01] him to mend bridges with his son.

[32:04] And, uh, he invites Lady Gaga and Adam Driver to his birthday party.

[32:10] Over the phone while getting a massage.

[32:11] Yeah.

[32:12] And, uh, and, uh, his, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[32:15] This movie does a pretty good job of taking like very boring, uh, plot point conversations

[32:20] and trying to find something to be going on.

[32:22] Like whether it's a massage or like just have like animals playing in the background or,

[32:27] or one of my favorites when, uh, Lady Gaga and Salma Hayek are in a mud bag and they're

[32:33] like smearing mud.

[32:34] Yeah.

[32:34] On each other's faces.

[32:35] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[32:35] They, they, they, they're plotting while on a spa date together.

[32:38] Oh, they're just even like later on Jared Leto has to pick up Al Pacino at the airport.

[32:43] And so to show that he's on the phone with someone complaining about how bad his crotch

[32:47] smells.

Dan McCoy

[32:48] It's pretty good.

[32:50] Yeah.

[32:51] Uh, anyway, so there.

S2

[32:52] He had to make the choice to make that call at that time.

[32:56] Like.

[32:57] Yes.

[32:57] Fish out coins from his pocket.

Stuart Wellington

[33:00] Uh huh.

[33:00] I mean, he has like a little, he has like a little purse wallet, you know, like with a little.

[33:04] Yeah.

[33:04] Clasp on it.

[33:04] Yeah.

[33:05] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[33:05] Al Pacino, uh, guilts Adam Driver into coming back to his birthday because he and, uh, his,

[33:12] uh, Jeremy Irons' character are getting older.

[33:15] So we see at the birthday, there's a violent rugby game where we meet Jared Leto for the

[33:20] first time where he gets sacked and there's blood in his nose.

[33:24] And he, then the subsequent scene has him with like tissue stuffed in his nose the whole

[33:29] time.

S2

[33:30] I will say I didn't realize they were playing rugby because I didn't see the ball at first.

[33:34] Yes.

[33:35] So they walked into this party.

[33:37] There's just a group of dudes rumbling on the ground.

[33:40] I'm like, oh my God, this is why he doesn't want to come back to this family.

[33:43] This is how they handle parties.

[33:45] They just fight.

Elliott Kalan

[33:46] At first, it's like a, it's like a scene out of the great, like for that, you'll just have

[33:50] a party and there'll just be a huge brawl.

[33:52] Like everyone's hitting each other as hard as they can.

[33:54] But then the ball shows up and you're like, oh, it's rugby.

[33:56] Okay.

[33:56] It's not just, it's not just a 40 man fight for, for Aldo's amusement at his birthday.

S2

[34:00] Which is still a strange thing to have at a birthday party, right?

[34:04] Like you don't want to do an intense sport.

[34:07] I don't know.

[34:08] Maybe you guys do.

Elliott Kalan

[34:10] I think it's a, I think it's a rich families thing where every, every event is an opportunity

[34:15] for a competition of something.

[34:17] Like the way that the Kennedys would play football.

[34:19] Like you have to, at every, every party is a, is a chance for you to, to dominate somebody

[34:24] else.

[34:24] Very succession, you know?

[34:26] Yeah.

[34:26] Very succession.

[34:27] And I mean.

[34:28] And this movie is about succession.

Stuart Wellington

[34:29] Let's talk about, like Jared Leto here is buried under a ton of makeup.

[34:33] I've heard people on the internet describe it as a situation of white face.

Dan McCoy

[34:40] No, I don't know.

[34:41] I don't know about that.

Stuart Wellington

[34:42] He has, he has this character pitched at a, I feel like he has this character pitched at

[34:47] a different level from the other characters in the movie that he is like, he is basically

[34:51] doing a, cause he's playing older than himself or at least feels older than he actually is.

[34:57] And he, it feels a little bit like Walton Goggins as Uncle Baby Billy from Righteous Gemstones

[35:03] where you have a younger man playing an older man.

[35:05] It's like herky jerky and weird.

[35:07] But like this movie isn't at the same pitch as Righteous Gemstones, which is a comedy,

[35:13] obviously a comedy.

[35:14] Whereas House of Gucci does, is like a drama that you have to remember.

[35:18] Like it feels like a comedy.

Dan McCoy

[35:20] I saw a David Ehrlich review where I liked what he said.

[35:25] He said it was like, Comedia dell'arte Fredo.

[35:28] And I think that that's probably.

Elliott Kalan

[35:30] This movie is going for opera and he's doing opera buffa.

[35:34] Yeah.

[35:34] To put it on, to put it on a, to put it in layman's terms.

[35:37] But no, he is, but he, he's playing like a, like a caricature of that character.

[35:42] And, but he's doing it.

[35:43] I mean, he's, what he's doing.

[35:45] I think he's pitched at the right level.

Stuart Wellington

[35:47] Like that's where everyone else should be.

Elliott Kalan

[35:49] I'm not saying.

[35:49] Yeah, I agree.

Stuart Wellington

[35:49] I don't disagree with you.

[35:50] I'm saying it's just different than everyone else.

[35:52] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[35:52] Yeah.

[35:52] But to be honest, I kind of feel like that's the experience of being in a movie or anywhere

[35:56] in a room with Jared Leto.

[35:58] Is that Jared Leto is at a different pitch of existence than everybody else.

[36:02] Well.

[36:02] And it's just like a, this, very much watching this, I'm like, yeah, this is the Gucci,

[36:06] the Gucci cousin who like mails dead rats to his coworkers.

S2

[36:10] I can see that.

[36:12] So I have to make a confession that Dan, you know this about me, but I don't know if you

[36:19] guys do where I'm very bad with particular faces and specifically a lot of white men look

[36:27] alike.

[36:28] And so it was very, very, very frustrating for me when I've seen pictures of Jared Leto in

[36:34] the makeup and I know who he's supposed to be.

[36:37] And the lawyer is in the same room who sort of looks like Jared Leto.

[36:40] And I'm like, wait, is he playing two parts?

[36:42] Why did they hide Jared Leto under makeup and then hire another Jared Leto lookalike?

Elliott Kalan

[36:49] That's a good point.

[36:50] I mean.

S2

[36:51] And Dan's like, they don't really look that much alike.

[36:53] They don't look that much alike.

Elliott Kalan

[36:54] But I mean, and the other one is like a full head of hair and Jared Leto is this huge

[36:58] bald.

Dan McCoy

[36:58] Well, no, no, but she thinks that the other guy looks like how Jared Leto looks in real

[37:04] life.

[37:04] It's like the old man and play Tilda Swinton in Suspiria.

[37:10] Yeah.

[37:12] It's confusing.

[37:13] But they're two separate guys.

[37:14] Speaking of Jared Leto, this is the scene where we learn about Paolo.

[37:18] This is like where he's really introduced.

[37:20] He's wearing a corduroy suit in kind of a lavender pink.

Elliott Kalan

[37:24] With a belt that goes on the front only.

Dan McCoy

[37:27] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[37:28] It's like a suit jacket with a strap in the front that buckles.

Dan McCoy

[37:31] Yeah.

[37:31] And as mentioned before, he has toilet paper in his nose and he's smoking a cigarette and

[37:35] he's arguing that his style is chic and it's the future.

[37:38] And, you know, like I don't mind his clothes.

[37:41] Maybe they're not, I don't know, they're not the classic Gucci, but I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[37:46] I mean, to be honest, his clothes are amusing to me, but also like I'm not, I couldn't

[37:52] quite tell, there are times when I could tell from his designs that these look not great,

[37:57] but it's like, there was no point where I was like, yeah, but the Gucci clothes look

[38:01] amazing.

[38:02] Like there's a part later on where they're like, look at these fancy Gucci shoes.

[38:05] They're very exclusive.

[38:06] And the people looking at them are like, oh, it's like the Holy Grail.

[38:09] But I was like, it looks like a loafer with like a big fucking gold buckle.

[38:12] Like, I don't know.

[38:13] But you love big buckles.

[38:15] Yeah.

[38:15] They love big buckles.

[38:17] And, and that.

[38:18] Were they pilgrims?

[38:19] Yeah.

[38:20] What are they?

[38:20] Like Italian pilgrims?

[38:22] Like fancy pilgrims?

[38:23] I don't get it.

[38:24] What are they?

Elliott Kalan

[38:24] A bunch of Solomon Canes?

S2

[38:25] Well, what was confusing to me is that his style was really more 80s.

[38:30] So it was sort of the future.

[38:32] So I was like, yeah, looking at it from 2022, it makes sense.

[38:37] It looks bad.

[38:38] But I guess like for 80s, this is where it was going.

[38:41] So he's not wrong.

Stuart Wellington

[38:43] Yeah.

[38:44] Especially during the fashion show that gets shut down later.

[38:46] I'm like, I can't tell.

[38:48] This is supposed to be bad within the context of the movie.

[38:50] But is it bad because it's progressive and they're too conservative?

[38:54] Or is it bad because it's progressive but not progressive enough?

Elliott Kalan

[38:58] Yeah.

[38:58] Or progressive done.

[38:59] But well, also, there's a fashion show later on that's supposed to be the rebirth of Gucci.

[39:03] And it's like satin assless chaps and things like that.

[39:05] And I was like, okay, movie.

[39:06] Now I don't know what's supposed to be good and what's not supposed to be good.

Dan McCoy

[39:09] I had in my notes, I'm like, oh, you know, like everyone's reacting like this is good.

[39:14] So I guess that these like assless leather chaps saved the company.

[39:18] But all chaps are assless, guys.

S2

[39:20] My notes say boy butt, boy butt, boy butt, boy butt, boy butt, boy butt.

[39:25] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[39:26] Perfect.

[39:26] That was just your, you were going to do tongue twisters for elocution.

Stuart Wellington

[39:32] It's an ASMR practice.

[39:33] Yeah.

[39:34] Yeah.

[39:34] That's what Audrey whispers to me as we go to sleep.

[39:40] So.

Elliott Kalan

[39:41] Just whispers boy butt over and over to you.

[39:43] I don't know why.

[39:44] Dan, Dan, boy butt.

[39:45] That's how Dan gets jokerified.

Dan McCoy

[39:48] So anyway, they leave and Adam Driver is like, look, none of this is real.

[39:54] Like the Gucci family is not royalty.

[39:56] They got into leather goods.

[39:57] What is reality?

[39:59] Exactly.

[39:59] Like the grandfather was a bellhop and carried rich people's luggage.

[40:04] But Lady Gaga is clearly enamored of this lifestyle that she's had a peak of.

Stuart Wellington

[40:10] And she's really fun in this scene.

[40:11] She's showing a lot of leg.

Dan McCoy

[40:13] It's great.

[40:13] They open a gift.

[40:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[40:15] It's almost like it's almost like on the drive home.

[40:17] She decided to take her pants off.

Dan McCoy

[40:19] There's so much leg on display.

[40:21] Yeah.

[40:21] But the gift from the family is tickets to New York.

[40:24] And then Lady Gaga is watching television.

[40:27] She sees a psychic on TV.

[40:29] Pina.

Elliott Kalan

[40:29] Well, Dan, I think you glossed over how.

[40:33] So the tickets are to New York so that he can become part of the company.

[40:37] And then Lady Gaga gives him a blowjob while they're driving to convince him to be in New York.

Dan McCoy

[40:40] I mean, it's not like integral to the plot or anything.

[40:43] I'm just saying.

S2

[40:43] Well, I think it shows that she's really driving the driving force behind.

[40:50] She's rewarding.

Elliott Kalan

[40:51] Who drives the drive men?

[40:53] That's what's spray painted on the walls.

Dan McCoy

[40:55] She's providing a sexual reward for him getting back into the family.

Elliott Kalan

[40:58] She's really.

[40:59] She is already at the point where she's not just like, oh, I want to be a part of this.

[41:02] She's like, I'm pushing my husband to make him be a part of this so that I can be a part of it.

S2

[41:07] And at each point where people are offering him things, she's saying yes.

[41:10] He's saying maybe.

[41:11] Yeah.

[41:11] And then she's going afterwards when it's the two of them and really saying, this is a yes.

[41:16] We're going to do this.

Elliott Kalan

[41:17] Yeah.

[41:18] Adam Driver's like, call me maybe.

[41:19] And she's like, call me yes.

Dan McCoy

[41:22] Well, anyway, she sees the psychic on television, Pina, who is played by Salma Hayek.

[41:27] And at first, I think it's just like a psychic commercial.

[41:30] So I'm very confused when Lady Gaga calls in and Salma Hayek answers the phone.

Elliott Kalan

[41:37] Yeah.

[41:37] No, no.

[41:37] This is like, she's the Italian equivalent of Frasier.

[41:40] You can call in and she'll answer your problem.

[41:42] Yeah.

S2

[41:43] So was Miss Cleo live or was it just an ad?

Elliott Kalan

[41:46] No, it was just an ad.

[41:47] Those were just ads.

[41:48] Those were ads for a hotline.

[41:49] Yeah.

[41:50] Yeah.

[41:50] And also, she was not a real psychic.

[41:52] And in case anyone's wondering, this is not Pina Bausch, the choreographer.

[41:55] This is a different Pina.

[41:56] So.

Dan McCoy

[41:58] But she asked whether she's going to get what she wants and she's told she'll get a great fortune.

[42:04] So, anyway, we go, Lady Gaga goes to a Gucci store to see Aldo to try and win.

Elliott Kalan

[42:11] Wait, maybe they're just that rich that they can call any show and the show has to answer the phone and talk to them.

[42:16] That's how we're the Gucci.

Dan McCoy

[42:17] Switch over from being a commercial to being a live show.

Elliott Kalan

[42:20] Like if you were watching like Yellow Jackets and you're like, I have some advice for these girls.

[42:27] And you're so rich that you call them up and they have to answer a phone in the show.

[42:31] Yeah.

[42:32] Sure.

S2

[42:32] Yeah, they answer the phone.

[42:33] They get all the actors together.

[42:35] They set up that scene so that they could put in the live call.

Elliott Kalan

[42:39] Exactly.

[42:39] You have to wait for a while.

[42:40] And even though it totally breaks the reality of that show for them to have a phone call in the show.

[42:46] Yeah, yeah.

[42:46] That you're just that powerful.

[42:47] You're just that wealthy.

Stuart Wellington

[42:48] Yeah, it's like they pull open a panel on a tree because they're still stuck out in the woods in the 90s.

[42:52] And there's a phone right there.

[42:53] So, they answer it and you're like, oh, I was hoping I was calling the modern day because I love Melanie Linsky and want to tell her that.

[43:00] Anyway.

[43:00] Can you get modern day on the phone?

Elliott Kalan

[43:02] Okay, hold on.

[43:03] They've got to send those actors home.

[43:05] Bring the modern day actors in.

S2

[43:06] They put modern family instead.

[43:08] What a shame.

Elliott Kalan

[43:09] Oh, now you're talking to Ty Burrell, which is its own sort of special pleasure, but it's not what you wanted when you called.

[43:14] Yeah.

[43:14] Exactly.

Dan McCoy

[43:15] She brings Aldo and Maurizio back together building bridges, mending bridges, whatever.

[43:22] Mm-hmm.

[43:24] Lady Gaga says she's pregnant.

Elliott Kalan

[43:27] She says she's pregnant.

[43:28] Is that – that's also – that's when they go to Aldo's second birthday party.

[43:32] Yes.

[43:32] Because like a toddler, he has multiple birthday parties with different people.

[43:36] Yeah.

[43:36] I figured it was passage of time there, buddy.

[43:37] Yeah.

S2

[43:38] I thought it was like a year past.

[43:40] It's very hard to tell time in this.

Elliott Kalan

[43:43] I assumed that he had had his family birthday party and now this was his birthday party with the workers of Gucci.

Dan McCoy

[43:48] Like they were going to their like little leather fiefdom, you know.

[43:51] Elliot, I will split the difference but not out of diplomacy.

[43:54] This actually is the way I feel.

[43:56] I couldn't tell what the movie was saying.

[43:58] Whether it was possibly a second birthday party or they're saying and a year past.

Stuart Wellington

[44:03] And this is like a sequence where we see them both in – is it both in New York and in Italy like looking at – like they get the tour kind of the business from Aldo.

S2

[44:13] Yeah, and I want to mention that Lady Gaga was wearing four-inch heels at a farm, which I don't know if you guys know this.

[44:22] But if you're wearing a stiletto heel and you're in the ground, it just like – your heel sinks.

[44:28] So that is a lot of hard work for her and real commitment.

Elliott Kalan

[44:33] Real commitment.

[44:33] I mean – and the real problem is if it sinks too far and it takes root and it sprouts into a stiletto tree and then you got to just – you got to bring in workers to pick those stilettos and harvest them and take them to the Gucci stores.

[44:45] You could make Lady Gaga into a tree.

Stuart Wellington

[44:47] You could kill a million Stephen Webbers with those things.

[44:50] Apologies for the siren outside that I'm sure you can all hear.

[44:53] And there's a scene in here where after kind of getting the tour, Lady Gaga is trying to – once again trying to convince Maurizio to take a stronger hand in the company.

[45:05] And she does that while night lotioning, which I'm a huge fan of.

[45:08] Night lotion is always – that's a key step.

[45:12] You got a night lotion if you're going to try and convince somebody before bed.

Dan McCoy

[45:15] Anyway, Aldo, you know, meets them at a Gucci store.

[45:19] He says Lady Gaga can have anything she wants.

[45:22] They all go to dinner.

[45:23] He wants Adam Driver to be his right-hand man.

[45:26] But he's still dubious.

[45:28] Meanwhile, though, Paolo goes to Jeremy Irons to tattle on what's going on between Aldo and his son.

[45:37] And I think Paolo's like, cool, maybe we can do a dad swap.

[45:41] So, like, you can be my dad now.

Stuart Wellington

[45:43] Do a cool collab.

[45:44] Because he, like, brings a bunch of –

Dan McCoy

[45:46] Are you my dad now, dad?

[45:47] Don't call me dad.

[45:48] He brings Jeremy Irons a bunch of fashion drawings to try and get support for these designs.

[45:54] And Jeremy Irons, like, humors him for a moment to make him, like, seem like, oh, maybe he's going to be nice.

[45:59] And then he's like, hide your drawings away because you're a triumph of mediocrity.

[46:04] And that's the one thing that he and Aldo, his father, can agree on, that he's an imbecile.

[46:09] And he mostly seems mad that he's combined browns and pastels in his designs.

[46:14] That's even more cruel.

S2

[46:17] That's even more cruel than just denying the guy out, right?

[46:21] It's like making him have hope so you can crush it.

Stuart Wellington

[46:24] It's like the opposite of a reality show, Judge, where you're like, I don't like this thing you made.

[46:29] I love it!

Elliott Kalan

[46:31] Yeah.

[46:32] Pack your knives.

[46:34] Because you're going to the finals.

S2

[46:35] That's because he's an actor.

[46:37] He understands what suspense is.

Elliott Kalan

[46:39] Yeah.

[46:39] But Paolo gets his revenge when he takes Jeremy Irons' signature scarf and pees on it.

[46:44] Yeah.

S2

[46:44] I genuinely felt bad for him until he peed on the scarf.

[46:48] But Jeremy – no, what's his name?

[46:50] Jeremy's Iron?

[46:51] No, what's –

[46:52] Jared Leto?

[46:53] Jared Leto is doing such – like, his performance is so good.

[46:58] Yeah.

[46:58] And you genuinely feel sorry for him knowing he's that, you know, he's that guy who sent terrible things to his co-stars in Suicide Squad.

Stuart Wellington

[47:09] Yeah.

[47:09] Well, he's definitely all the way in at this point.

[47:12] Like, there's – we're getting a lot of Jared Leto on the screen here.

[47:15] Yeah.

[47:16] And he's acting in front of Jeremy Irons, again, an actor who is known for a ham and the fuck up.

[47:20] So, you know Jared Leto's bringing his A game.

Elliott Kalan

[47:23] Yeah.

[47:24] Jeremy Irons is like, don't ever show these drawings to me again.

[47:27] Now I have to go set a series of death traps before Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson.

Dan McCoy

[47:30] Do not bother me.

[47:32] Yeah.

[47:33] Meanwhile, Adam Driver and Lady Gaga have their baby and they're called back to Italy because Jeremy Irons –

[47:40] It's called a Bambino.

[47:41] Character's ill.

Stuart Wellington

[47:42] Oh, Bambina because it's a daughter.

Dan McCoy

[47:44] Oh, my mistake.

[47:44] Thank you.

[47:45] They tell him he has a granddaughter, Alexandria, named after Adam Driver's character's mother at Lady Gaga's suggestion.

Elliott Kalan

[47:54] They bring him a lock of the baby's hair instead of bringing him the baby to see it, which seems weird.

[48:00] I don't know why they didn't do that.

Dan McCoy

[48:01] And there's a father-son, you know, rap approachmont right before Jeremy Irons is dead.

[48:10] Cut to the funeral.

[48:12] The lawyer explains that because he didn't sign something, Maurizio –

Elliott Kalan

[48:18] So this is the certificate of shares that shows that he's a 50% owner of Gucci.

[48:23] Rudolfo never signed the paperwork.

[48:25] And so if they try to inherit them, they're going to be hit with an enormous estate tax.

[48:30] This is Italian law, I guess.

S2

[48:31] What rich people –

[48:32] A tax they cannot pay.

[48:33] What rich people do is give you everything beforehand so that it's not an inheritance.

[48:38] You just have it.

Elliott Kalan

[48:39] Yeah.

[48:40] But he didn't do that.

[48:42] Yeah.

[48:42] Because of this – I assume because of this conflict between them.

[48:46] And then he also forgot.

[48:47] Jeremy Irons' character spends a lot of time just sitting in a room watching his own old movies.

[48:50] Yeah.

[48:51] So –

[48:51] I mean –

[48:52] Not Jeremy Irons' old movie.

Stuart Wellington

[48:53] He's not watching Dead Ringers.

[48:54] He's watching Rudolfo's movies.

[48:55] Yeah.

[48:55] I feel like that's – I feel like that's going to be us when we're like super old as we'll be like sitting somewhere just listening to our old podcasts wrapped up in a fucking shawl wearing glasses.

Elliott Kalan

[49:05] I would love that.

[49:06] To sit in a little Italian garden with a tiny cup of coffee listening to the old episodes of the Flop House.

[49:11] Yeah, that'd be great.

[49:11] Through a fucking Victrola.

[49:12] And then – and you know we're dead because our head just slumps forward slightly and then some leaves fall off a tree.

[49:19] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[49:19] And that's it.

[49:19] They know we're gone.

Stuart Wellington

[49:20] I was going to say, I mean a bird would 100% shit on my dead body at that point.

[49:24] Yeah, sure.

[49:25] You don't care.

[49:26] You're dead.

[49:26] Why not?

[49:26] Yeah, it's a joke.

[49:27] Yeah, you're just like –

[49:27] Got to get one final larf in there.

[49:29] The – yeah, I like –

[49:30] One final larf.

Elliott Kalan

[49:33] One last larf.

[49:36] Last larf.

[49:37] The last larf.

[49:39] Amazing.

[49:40] So – and Lady Gaga's outrage.

[49:42] Yeah, like they're like –

Dan McCoy

[49:43] You could sell your shares in Gucci to pay it off.

[49:46] To pay.

[49:47] No.

Stuart Wellington

[49:47] And luckily we have already been introduced to the idea that Lady Gaga is a master forger

[49:52] since she forges her father's signature when she worked for him.

[49:55] Yeah.

[49:56] Uh-huh.

[49:57] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[49:58] Now Salma Hayek.

Elliott Kalan

[49:59] So she's already been able to forge a signature she's seen every day of her life.

[50:03] Why can't she forge a signature she may never have seen?

Dan McCoy

[50:06] Salma Hayek is now Lady Gaga's personal psychic advising her not to let others take what's

[50:12] hers.

[50:12] Salma psychic.

[50:13] Mm-hmm.

[50:14] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[50:14] She's got plenty of cats in her apartment.

[50:16] It's great.

Dan McCoy

[50:16] I feel love by Donna Summer kicks in.

[50:19] So that made me happy.

[50:21] And Aldo –

[50:22] Sure, it's a great song.

[50:23] Shows Adam Driver's new office and everything seems fine.

[50:28] Lady Gaga sees that the housekeeper has a handbag that's a knockoff Gucci.

[50:32] And so she goes downtown and she finds people selling these counterfeit bags in the street

[50:36] and she's mad that Adam Driver doesn't seem to care about it.

[50:39] And she's like, it damages the brand.

[50:42] And they take it to Aldo who doesn't mind because it kind of means that Gucci is this aspirational

[50:47] thing.

[50:48] Like, who cares if people are having – want knockoffs.

Elliott Kalan

[50:51] And I think it's also – now, am I understanding this incorrectly that Gucci was – I think

[50:58] they're implying was the source of those fake Gucci's.

[51:00] These are lower quality Gucci bags that they're allowing to be sent out.

Dan McCoy

[51:03] I thought that there was that implication as well, but it was hard to read exactly what

[51:08] was being said.

S2

[51:08] We debated over this and I don't know.

[51:12] I think what the uncle was saying is that the name is what's important.

[51:17] So if, like, it is aspirational for people, whatever, let them have it.

[51:21] It's the luxury item that the rich people will get the quality anyways.

Elliott Kalan

[51:26] Well, I think that – but I think that's what he's saying is that, look, we make the

[51:29] quality items for the rich people, but we make a lot of money off of these crappy versions

[51:34] that people think are counterfeit, but we still make some money off of it.

[51:37] Like, that this is the real – I think what he's saying is this is really where we make

[51:40] our money.

Dan McCoy

[51:41] I feel like that was implied but not stated directly.

Elliott Kalan

[51:44] And in real life, they do – a lot of the fake ones are ones that come from the companies.

[51:49] It's like that's the scam.

[51:52] It's fake luxury.

Dan McCoy

[51:53] But he also just tells them, like, oh, without me, you'd be shoveling shit in Tuscany.

Elliott Kalan

[51:58] He's basically like, look, I made this company what it is by being a schemer and kind of

[52:03] a con artist.

[52:04] So get mad at me if you want.

[52:06] But that's the only way you can afford that huge apartment that you have.

Dan McCoy

[52:09] And it seems like, you know, Aldo has a good point.

[52:12] But then we cut to a fashion show where Adam Driver learns from a designer that Gucci isn't

[52:15] respected anymore, so maybe Lady Gaga has a good point.

[52:20] And she's like, you got to take out the trash.

[52:22] And that means Aldo and Paolo.

[52:24] And Paolo has started his own clothing line, which Lady Gaga wants to talk to him to fix,

[52:31] like this competition.

[52:32] She goes to see him and flatters him.

[52:34] Jared Leto does a lot of funny dancing in this scene.

[52:37] Yeah.

[52:38] And this is a great scene.

Stuart Wellington

[52:39] She does a lot of, like, very fake, like, oh, you're so smart.

[52:43] Or, oh, how'd you become such a good dancer?

[52:45] It's really good.

[52:45] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[52:46] And he's like, I am a good dancer.

[52:47] Thank you so much.

[52:48] Oh, I am.

[52:49] I'm glad you noticed.

[52:49] Nobody noticed, buddy.

[52:50] That's where your moose and mouse shit came.

[52:53] And this is where he says moose when he means mouse, which, again, only makes sense if the

[52:57] conversation is in English.

[52:58] It doesn't really make sense if they're speaking Italian because he's from Italy and he speaks

[53:02] Italian and he knows.

[53:03] And they don't have moose in Italy.

[53:04] So they have a word for mouse, I assume.

[53:06] I don't know if I speak Italian, but, you know.

Dan McCoy

[53:08] But she's pouring poison in his ear trying to get him to break with his dad.

[53:10] But not literally.

[53:12] Yeah.

[53:13] It's not Hamlet.

[53:14] They're not really literally pouring poison in his ear.

[53:16] Well, I mean, that's the tale of Gonzago.

[53:18] It's not really in the action of Hamlet.

Elliott Kalan

[53:22] So how do you think they killed the king?

[53:24] How do you think Claudius killed him if it wasn't pouring poison in his ear?

Dan McCoy

[53:27] Oh, you think that's like the direct thing that happened?

Elliott Kalan

[53:30] That was my guess was that it was like this play is saying exactly what we just did.

[53:34] Whereas I think Claudius would be able to shrug it off like, hey, that's how they're

[53:37] killing the king?

[53:38] I killed him a different way.

[53:39] Anywho.

[53:41] That'd be weird about you.

[53:42] What a coinkydink.

[53:43] But not too much of a coinkydink.

Dan McCoy

[53:44] If there's a poison expert, tell me out there, would pouring poison in someone's ear be

[53:49] It killed Gonzago and I'm assuming Hamlet's dad.

[53:53] Anyway, so she's like trying to get him to break with his dad.

[53:59] And Jared Leto's like, can you keep a secret?

[54:02] And this is where she does the father, son and house of Gucci line.

[54:05] Oh, yeah.

[54:06] That she.

Stuart Wellington

[54:06] That's where if I was in the movie theater watching this, I would be hooting and hollering.

[54:11] According to according to the Internet, ad libbed by Lady Gaga.

[54:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[54:15] And Paolo's like, what am I going to get out of it?

[54:19] And she's like, we'll do a we'll make your line, your clothing line.

[54:23] And I'm drivers mad that, you know, she's making these deals without him.

[54:28] But she's like, this line will never see the light of day.

[54:31] And Adam Driver seems disgusted by her schemes.

[54:34] But he also is like going along with all of them, which is like later on when he rejects her for all the manipulation she's done.

[54:42] I'm like, dude, you played your part in all of this.

[54:46] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[54:46] Well, I think this is the this is the we're getting to the inflection point where she goes from being the malevolent one to him becoming the malevolent one.

[54:55] And it's like this movie, it really wants to it really follows a godfather model in a big way with Adam Driver being the closest equivalent to Michael Corleone, where he starts out as the innocent.

[55:04] And by the end of it, he's in as deep as anyone's ever been.

[55:07] And he's gone farther than anyone's ever gone in his corruption.

[55:11] But it's like there's such a I mean, one of them.

[55:13] I mean, that's one of the greatest movies of all time.

[55:15] Like his his corruption dissent is so clear and it's so understandable.

[55:19] And this one, there are times when he's.

[55:20] Yeah.

[55:21] I'm going out on a limb here and say the godfather's one of the greatest movies of all time.

[55:24] But there's a there are times during this where like the the corruption arc is just not quite as clear.

[55:30] And I got I have to admit that I got confused about what their business machinations were.

[55:34] There's a part where Paolo finishes a fencing match and Maurizio talks him into some kind of scheme.

[55:39] And I'm like, I don't really understand what they're talking about here.

Dan McCoy

[55:41] Yeah, I think that happened shortly after.

[55:42] Yeah.

[55:42] Right.

[55:43] Yeah.

[55:43] Well, that's their Paolo meets with Adam Driver.

[55:47] Basically, Aldo has been doing tax fraud.

[55:50] And so they're going to use that as leverage.

[55:52] Paolo tries to phone Aldo to threaten him.

[55:55] And because he's kind of just like simpering in his attempts to be like a blackmailer, Pacino just hangs up on him.

[56:03] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[56:03] Because at first he's like, no, no, no.

[56:05] Tell me what you want to tell me about.

[56:07] And Gerlo's like, ah, no, no, no.

[56:08] Let's wait until you're free.

[56:10] He's like, no, tell me now.

[56:11] He's like, it's about taxis.

[56:12] Like, oh, tell me later.

S2

[56:14] No, he said taxis.

[56:17] What about a taxi?

[56:18] I don't know about a taxi.

[56:19] Bye.

[56:20] And then hangs up on his son.

Elliott Kalan

[56:22] I mean, I could watch so many scenes of Aldo and Paolo.

[56:26] They're so great.

[56:27] Like, I want to see.

[56:28] I want the web series where it's just like six minute episodes of Aldo and Paolo.

Stuart Wellington

[56:32] What a promotional tool that they just left on the table right there.

Elliott Kalan

[56:36] They just left.

[56:37] There's this.

[56:37] And we'll get to it.

[56:38] My favorite scene of the two of them where Paolo gives Aldo some bad news.

[56:42] Could have saved fucking Quibi if you ask me.

[56:44] Yeah.

[56:44] This was the must-see show that Quibi needed that they didn't have.

[56:49] They were wasting their time with, you know, what's-her-name being a judge and stuff like that.

[56:53] But anyway, so.

Dan McCoy

[56:55] But, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[56:58] Chrissy Teigen.

[56:58] That's who it was.

[56:59] She was a judge or something.

Dan McCoy

[56:59] Maybe Aldo should have not hung up on it because the next scene is cut to Department of Treasury men

[57:05] showing up to his squash game to arrest him.

[57:09] And Paolo, Jared Leto has this regretful scene on the phone where he is at his biggest comic opera,

[57:18] I feel like, just like sad over the phone and like moving back and forth from that to being like,

Stuart Wellington

[57:25] do you think he's going to suspect it was me?

Dan McCoy

[57:27] Yeah.

[57:29] The guy who threatened him to do that?

[57:32] Moments before.

[57:33] Aldo is guilty.

[57:35] He's sentenced to jail for a year and a day, which seems very specific.

[57:40] And we go to Paolo's fashion show of brown and pastel clothes,

[57:44] which is shut down immediately by a copyright lawsuit saying that he shouldn't have the right to the Gucci name.

[57:52] And his wife is gamely trying to sing opera through all of this scene as everything gets shut down.

[57:58] And Paolo confronts them.

[57:59] So upsetting.

Elliott Kalan

[58:00] Yeah.

[58:01] And this is the only diegetic opera in the whole movie, right?

[58:05] Other times it's like, well, we got something to do.

[58:11] But it's just like booming on the soundtrack.

Stuart Wellington

[58:13] We got this Tracy Chapman song.

[58:14] Wait a minute.

[58:15] It turns into an opera.

[58:18] Fast car?

[58:20] Yep.

[58:20] It is fast car.

[58:21] No, it's not fast car.

Dan McCoy

[58:22] But Paolo's like, don't you even look at me.

[58:24] You're lying a sack of potatoes.

[58:27] And he's sad.

[58:28] That's the line.

Elliott Kalan

[58:29] That's what he has the immortal line.

[58:31] Never confuse shit with chocolate.

[58:33] With chocolate.

Stuart Wellington

[58:34] What's crazy about that line is he says it.

[58:36] He's like, because I know the difference.

[58:38] And then it cuts to Adam Driver and Lady Gaga.

[58:40] And they're like stunned because it looks like they're considering, how does he know the difference?

Elliott Kalan

[58:46] Did he eat?

[58:47] Did someone trick Paolo into eating shit?

[58:49] Or did he eat it?

[58:51] Or?

S2

[58:51] That fits within his character arc.

[58:53] I think I paused the movie at that point.

[58:55] And I was like, Dan, he's saying he ate shit, right?

Elliott Kalan

[58:58] Yeah.

[58:58] They're like, here in Italy, we do have toilets that sometimes look like bowls.

[59:02] Did he just walk up to one and think it was a bowl of chocolate and chow down and start digging in?

[59:07] Like, Paolo, what are you talking about?

Stuart Wellington

[59:11] Could have been one of those Pittsburgh toilets where it's just a toilet in the middle of the room without any walls.

[59:16] That is so wild.

[59:16] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[59:17] What do you do with that?

Stuart Wellington

[59:19] Why do you need so much space?

[59:20] Apparently, in the case of Paolo, you just eat the turrets out of the bowl.

Elliott Kalan

[59:23] You assume it's chocolate and you just go for it.

[59:27] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[59:27] Anyway, Gaga wants to buy the shares of Gucci.

Elliott Kalan

[59:31] The only thing that would have made it seem better, he goes, I know the difference.

[59:34] And they start going, milka, milka, lemonade around the corners of where the fudge is made.

S2

[59:39] And believe me, it doesn't taste like fudge.

Elliott Kalan

[59:42] Well, not a real fudge.

[59:43] I'm not saying it's a real fudge.

[59:44] Don't eat it.

[59:45] Okay.

[59:46] Okay, Paolo.

[59:47] I've learned my lesson many times.

Dan McCoy

[59:53] Yeah.

[59:54] So Paolo is like, fuck you.

Elliott Kalan

[59:56] It'll look similar, but it smells very different.

[59:59] That's how you can tell.

[1:00:01] Okay, Paolo, we got it.

[1:00:02] We got it.

[1:00:02] We got it, Jared Leto.

[1:00:03] Chocolate.

[1:00:04] It's the very sweet.

[1:00:05] It usually doesn't come in soft tubes.

[1:00:08] Yeah, chocolate, here's the thing.

[1:00:10] It has got kind of a bitter taste depending on how sweetened it is.

[1:00:13] But shit, it's just, you know, it's just poop.

[1:00:16] It's not, it just tastes like poop and it smells like poop.

[1:00:19] You understand?

S2

[1:00:20] If there's corn in it, it's probably poop.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:23] Okay, and they're like, we get it.

[1:00:24] They're like, Paolo, we understand.

[1:00:25] If there's an undigested kernels of corn, who would put that in a chocolate?

[1:00:29] I wouldn't.

[1:00:29] A chocolate, I wouldn't have the corn in the kernels?

[1:00:31] It's a weird herd of bacon bits in the corn.

[1:00:33] It's a kind of joke.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:35] I don't even, I don't, let me be honest.

[1:00:38] Like one of those omega showers.

[1:00:40] Now, in a cabbie shack, they mistake a poop in the chocolate.

[1:00:44] A chocolate for the shit.

[1:00:45] It's very different, though.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:46] That's the opposite of the situation.

[1:00:47] I don't even like it when you put a sea salt in the chocolate.

[1:00:50] So why would I like corn or other things?

[1:00:54] If it's like a baby's chocolate and they swallowed like a penny.

[1:00:57] Okay, there's a penny in it.

[1:00:59] Why would someone put that in the chocolate?

[1:01:00] Why would they put the chocolate in the diaper?

[1:01:02] So don't eat that either.

[1:01:03] And they're like, and they've already left and walked into the house.

[1:01:05] He's talking to nobody at this point, you know?

Dan McCoy

[1:01:08] Well, anyway, the police raid.

[1:01:10] I like that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:11] Audrey, the look on Audrey's face is, I think, is just confusion at whether I'm saying this

[1:01:16] or whether it's still the character of the bit or how far it's going or any of that.

S2

[1:01:19] No, I was thinking about, you ever, well, I don't know.

[1:01:22] Do you guys go to baby showers?

[1:01:24] There's a baby shower game.

[1:01:25] I used to.

[1:01:25] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:01:26] Or like you have chocolate.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:29] Why?

[1:01:30] It's disgusting.

[1:01:30] It's gross.

[1:01:31] I don't want that.

[1:01:32] I don't understand.

[1:01:33] Because so many social rituals are about humiliating the person that you're there to celebrate.

[1:01:39] Yeah.

S2

[1:01:39] Would you rather eat the chocolate from the diaper or do the race to like have the baby

[1:01:46] bottle that you're trying to empty by like sucking on the baby bottle until it's finished?

[1:01:51] And it's full of beer or something like that?

[1:01:53] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:54] Can I just, what happens if I lose?

[1:01:57] Do I get shot?

[1:01:57] Is it squid game?

[1:01:58] Yeah, yeah.

[1:01:59] It's like squid game.

[1:02:00] Cool.

[1:02:00] Push the dirt on top.

[1:02:02] You know what?

[1:02:02] I've had a nice life and you know what?

[1:02:04] I get it.

[1:02:04] It's fine.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:05] It's cool.

[1:02:06] I get it.

[1:02:06] Welcome to squid shower.

[1:02:10] There's 250 of you.

[1:02:11] And we're going to do some baby shower games.

[1:02:14] I thought this was squid bridal shower.

[1:02:16] Sure, we can do some of those too.

[1:02:17] We'll ask questions about your fiance and if you get them wrong, then I guess you'll be

[1:02:20] shot by this giant robot girl.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:21] So, the literal house of Gucci, not the figurative fashion house, but the house that they're

[1:02:28] living in gets raided at this point by the cops because one assumes that Paolo has tipped

[1:02:35] them off to the forgery that has allowed them to have their inheritance.

[1:02:41] And Lady Gaga is trying to clean up the mess.

[1:02:45] Meanwhile, Adam Driver flees to Switzerland on his Vespa.

[1:02:50] It's like a motorcycle with his loafers.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:54] And this sounds like a tense scene.

[1:02:55] So, is there like tense kind of thrillery music playing during the scene?

Dan McCoy

[1:02:59] I didn't write down the music.

[1:03:00] Did you have the music?

[1:03:00] Well, no.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:00] It's all Barbara Seville music.

[1:03:04] It's all comic opera.

[1:03:06] So, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:06] Yeah.

[1:03:07] And this is the start of another act of the movie.

[1:03:10] So, of course, Lady Gaga has a very different haircut and outfit.

[1:03:15] She looks much more severe than she had previously.

[1:03:18] And then this is going to lead into a number of scenes that I probably is the highlight of

[1:03:24] the movie for me.

[1:03:24] I think it might even top the Aldo Paolo stuff, which is, of course, Maurizio and Patrizia

[1:03:30] hanging out in Switzerland.

[1:03:32] It's so much fun.

[1:03:32] Wearing fix.

[1:03:33] Yeah.

S2

[1:03:33] It's so hard to tell how much time has passed because like the birthday party, we don't – like,

[1:03:39] I thought that was a year.

[1:03:40] And everyone's like, oh, it's the same.

[1:03:42] Yeah.

[1:03:42] It's the same birthday.

[1:03:44] And like, Lady Gaga looks the same.

[1:03:46] Adam Driver looks the same besides these haircuts that you're mentioning.

[1:03:50] So, it's really like you don't know how much time has passed.

[1:03:54] We don't even see the kids getting that much older.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:57] Well, that's the thing.

[1:03:58] You think that you'd use their daughter getting older to like help mark that time, but they're

[1:04:01] not –

[1:04:01] But you barely see her.

[1:04:02] The movie is so uninterested in the daughter.

[1:04:04] Yeah.

[1:04:04] But this is – yeah, this is when things start to go bad.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:08] Maurizio is skiing in Switzerland, runs into Camille Cotin, an actress who Audrey knows a lot

[1:04:16] from Calling Her Agent.

S2

[1:04:17] She's – yeah, she's one of the leads in Call My Agent, that French show.

[1:04:21] Oh, okay.

[1:04:21] Okay.

[1:04:22] It's super fun.

[1:04:23] Everyone should watch it.

[1:04:25] It's – they have real-life French actors, and I think there's an American actor in one

[1:04:30] of the episodes where they are the agents for these actors.

[1:04:34] Yeah.

[1:04:35] Yeah.

[1:04:36] I'll watch it if it's West Studio.

[1:04:37] I think that could be it.

[1:04:38] You have to watch and see.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:40] Okay.

[1:04:41] I'll have to find out.

[1:04:41] And she plays a character named Paolo, which is kind of confusing.

[1:04:45] Because we already have a Paolo.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:48] It's very – do you think at any point – because spoiler alert, they begin to have romance.

[1:04:53] At any point, they're making out or something, and he's like, you know, your name is the

[1:04:56] same as my idiot cousin's name.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:59] Probably.

[1:04:59] Probably that happens.

S2

[1:05:01] And I just – I – like, you mentioned the opera thing when they were raiding the house.

[1:05:05] Yeah.

[1:05:06] This actress is like a comedic actor in France.

[1:05:11] So, like, I know everyone says it's supposed to be a drama, but are we sure that it's not

[1:05:18] supposed to be a little comical?

[1:05:20] Oh, no.

[1:05:20] I think it is supposed to –

[1:05:21] I think this movie's supposed to be funny.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:23] I think it's supposed to be funny, and it's supposed to be an – it's supposed to be

[1:05:25] an over-the-top melodrama type thing.

[1:05:29] But, like, I don't think it's supposed to be a laugh-out-loud comedy, but it's supposed

[1:05:32] to be like a – the way that, like, Goodfellas is a comedy in a lot of ways.

[1:05:35] It has a lot of funny scenes, you know.

[1:05:37] But Ridley Scott is just like – his comedy is not his thing, and, like, excitement and

[1:05:45] big emotions are not his thing.

[1:05:46] Yeah.

[1:05:46] You know, so – the movie's so – visually, it's so gray and white, and you're like,

[1:05:52] throw some color on the screen.

[1:05:53] Come on.

[1:05:53] The emotions are so big.

[1:05:55] Like, let's make it colorful, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:56] Well, I do – I do really like – one of the reasons I like this Switzerland sequence

[1:06:00] is I like how, like, bright the clothes are.

[1:06:02] I love Lady Gaga's fucking ski outfit that's all red with, like, goggles and shit.

[1:06:07] I love it.

[1:06:08] It's awesome.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:08] I love when she sits down.

[1:06:10] She's wearing – she's wearing this big, like, Russian fur hat that is the size of a globe.

[1:06:14] Like, it's amazing, yeah.

S2

[1:06:15] Wasn't the first image from this movie the picture of the two of them in Switzerland

[1:06:19] and everyone went wild?

[1:06:21] Yes.

[1:06:21] Like, oh, my God.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:21] I want to see that, and I feel like this sequence kind of lives up to that.

[1:06:26] I love, like, when she confronts Paola, and she's like, oh, no, we're just friends on CoStar.

[1:06:30] We're just checking out if our alignments match up.

S2

[1:06:32] It's also really strange to find out he had friends all along because this whole time

[1:06:36] you just see the family members and people that work for the family, and now it's like,

[1:06:41] wait, shut up.

[1:06:42] You have, like, a group of friends that they all know you and they think you're fun.

[1:06:45] Uh-huh.

[1:06:45] Like, where did these people come from?

[1:06:47] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:47] Well, let's get back – sorry.

[1:06:49] There's friction between this new woman and Adam Driver, romantic friction between them.

[1:06:56] Romantic friction is an interesting way to put it.

[1:06:59] Well, a frisson, and then there's negative friction with Lady Gaga, as Stuart said.

[1:07:05] Oh, I see.

[1:07:06] She sits down and is like, hey, I don't understand people who steal things.

[1:07:11] Wink, wink, get it?

[1:07:12] I love it.

S2

[1:07:13] Look, I may not be the most moral person, but don't steal things from other people, okay?

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:20] I mean, this is when Lady Gaga is really – her performance has really come into its own,

[1:07:24] and she's starting to enter, like, Cruella de Vil territory, where it's just like, great, good.

[1:07:29] And, Dan, I think you've – getting to the scene, let's mention they do have one marker of the time period here.

[1:07:35] The Teddy Ruxpin?

[1:07:36] It's Christmas, where it's Christmas, and they're playing with a Simon, and then they give their daughter a Teddy Ruxpin, and it's like, come on, guys.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:43] And that scene is so fucking great because they give her a Teddy Ruxpin, and you're like, hell yeah, Teddy Ruxpin.

[1:07:49] And then she gives him a watch, and he's, like, totally shitty about it, and he kisses her forehead instead of her mouth.

[1:07:54] And then he gives her her gift.

[1:07:56] He doesn't even give it to her.

[1:07:57] He lets the daughter give her the gift.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:58] Yeah, the daughter hands it to her.

[1:08:00] He lets his wife think that he didn't get her a gift for Christmas.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:03] And then she opens the package, and it's a fucking gift card to Bloomingdale's, a place she doesn't shop.

[1:08:09] And he's like, hey, people can change, you know?

[1:08:12] It's fucking so harsh, man.

[1:08:14] It's great.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:15] It's a harsh scene, and it's the – I mean, I do like it as a scene because that as a way of showing how cold he's gotten to her combined with how goofy it is that it's like, got to show it's the 80s.

[1:08:27] Simon, Simon, Simon, Teddy Ruxpin.

[1:08:28] That's great.

[1:08:29] I love it.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:30] But that night, he's like, I'm sending you home.

[1:08:34] It's clear that, like, the relationship has reached a breaking point.

[1:08:38] The next morning, he's, like, watching her leave out the window as he's on the phone about other possible investors for Gucci.

[1:08:45] Meanwhile, Lady Gaga's getting another pep talk from her psychic.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:50] And you missed the – when he sends her away, this is like –

[1:08:53] Charlene made a comment when we were watching it about how she hadn't seen Adam Driver play a character that's, like, goofy and, like, nice.

[1:09:01] And then finally, during their fight, like, he gets – like, he gets physically violent.

[1:09:06] Like, he taps into the traditional Adam Driver range of emotions.

[1:09:10] And he, like, chokes her.

[1:09:12] And he's like, he's like, like, grow up or grow a little.

[1:09:16] And she's like, oh, then put some inches in me, loser.

[1:09:18] And it's crazy.

S2

[1:09:20] I have a video that I got to send to Charlene then if she hasn't seen him be funny because he was on SNL as a host.

[1:09:27] And he is hilarious hosting a cat funniest home videos thing.

[1:09:33] It's pretty great.

[1:09:33] Yeah, no, I co-signed this cat.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:36] Everyone watch it.

S2

[1:09:37] It's America's Funniest Cats.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:39] I haven't seen that.

[1:09:40] I'll have to watch it.

[1:09:41] Anyway, so Adam Driver meets with the investors and he's like, you know, let me entice you with this fancy loafer that Elliot mentioned earlier.

[1:09:51] And they're on board.

[1:09:52] Are they made of gofers?

[1:09:53] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:54] Yeah.

[1:09:54] He's like, you can't –

[1:09:55] Former gofers.

[1:09:55] He's like, you can't –

[1:09:56] Former gofers.

[1:09:57] Yeah.

[1:09:57] He's like, you can't buy these.

[1:09:58] These shoes are in the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

[1:10:00] And I'm like, yeah, they're just shoes.

[1:10:02] I don't know.

[1:10:02] I mean, they look like expensive shoes, but it's not, you know, they're not like Chuck Taylor's something cool.

[1:10:08] Mm-hmm.

[1:10:08] You know.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:09] And Aldo –

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:10] They're not off-the-wall vans, you know.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:11] Doesn't say supreme all over it.

[1:10:13] Doesn't the Pope wear Gucci or –

[1:10:15] Maybe.

[1:10:16] The Pope will wear a Gucci.

[1:10:17] Maybe the young Pope.

[1:10:18] I just wanted to say that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:19] Aldo and Paulo reunited –

[1:10:21] No, the Pope wears Birkenstocks year-round.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:23] I know that the Pope must die – parentheses T – diet.

[1:10:29] I saw that on a box once.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:31] All you know about the Pope is just that, that one movie.

[1:10:34] Yeah.

[1:10:34] They had to change the name.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:35] And the investors they go to is called – and I'm sure it's the real one – is called InvestCorp, which I think is kind of great.

[1:10:41] Yeah.

[1:10:42] It's such a bland thing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:44] Well, they're – it's an Iraqi investment group, right?

Dan McCoy

[1:10:47] Yeah.

[1:10:48] But the moment we've all been waiting for happens.

[1:10:50] Aldo and Paulo reunite in the airport.

[1:10:53] Oh, I know.

[1:10:53] As Elliot mentioned before, Paulo's on the phone –

[1:10:56] Highlight of the movie.

[1:10:56] Talking about his crotch smell to somebody.

[1:10:59] And they have trouble finding their car in the parking lot.

S2

[1:11:02] Wait.

[1:11:02] He's in a matching tracksuit that's got like multiple colors and like triangle, angular things on it, right?

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:12] Yeah, it looks like a fucking trapper keeper.

[1:11:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:16] He should have been designing homework supplies all this time.

[1:11:21] Yeah.

[1:11:21] Him and Lisa Max could have just divided up that business between themselves, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:25] Put a dog with a baseball bat in his mouth and it says a babe rough on it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:31] Here's my idea.

[1:11:32] Here's my idea.

[1:11:32] It's a folder.

[1:11:34] Like a folder.

[1:11:35] The kids put the homework in the folder.

[1:11:37] And on the front, it's a Tyrannosaurus with a mohawk and he's a surfing with sunglasses on.

[1:11:43] And they're like, print a billion of these things.

[1:11:45] You're a genius.

[1:11:46] Kids are going to love this.

S2

[1:11:48] See, they should have let Paulo run the show.

[1:11:50] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:51] It would have been a billionaire.

[1:11:52] Oh, man.

[1:11:53] Aldo is mad at him for selling his shares.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:56] Here's what I think.

[1:11:57] You cannot have too many floating triangles and kind of neon squiggles.

[1:12:04] Good stuff.

[1:12:05] Well, like they go home.

[1:12:06] He's like, your dishes.

[1:12:08] You didn't wash them.

[1:12:09] Washing the dishes.

[1:12:10] It's so good.

[1:12:10] Like, look at this place.

[1:12:11] It's a mess.

[1:12:12] These dishes.

[1:12:12] We got to wash them together.

[1:12:14] And this is maybe my favorite moment in the movie is them washing these dishes.

[1:12:18] And Paulo goes, hey, I sold my shares in Gucci.

[1:12:22] And Al Pacino just goes, oh.

[1:12:25] Like, as if someone has just shot a rocket up his butt.

[1:12:29] Like, that's the sound that he's making.

[1:12:32] It's amazing.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:34] And so, meanwhile, Am Driver and Paula have sex.

[1:12:40] Pina sees this psychically happening somehow.

[1:12:42] Maybe.

[1:12:43] I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:43] This part is also, at this point, the movie is suggesting that Pina has real psychic abilities

[1:12:47] and is watching them have sex.

[1:12:49] And Lady Gaga is like, what are they doing?

[1:12:51] What are they doing?

[1:12:52] And she's like, oh, I can't tell you.

[1:12:53] I can't tell you.

[1:12:54] I don't know.

[1:12:54] Show me where they are.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:56] She's sitting on a giant couch that looks like lips.

[1:12:58] And she's like, that's fucking hot.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:00] And the Gucci lawyer comes to Lady Gaga at her daughter's school with divorce papers.

[1:13:07] She refuses to sign.

[1:13:09] Aldo and Paulo are going to sell to these investors.

[1:13:12] But Aldo notices the shoe.

[1:13:14] And he's like, I know what's up.

[1:13:16] I know I've been betrayed.

[1:13:18] It had to have been Maurizio who gave these shoes.

[1:13:21] Calls him a fucking traitor.

[1:13:22] But signs away the shares anyway.

[1:13:25] We get a bit of a montage where Adam Driver's being interviewed for Vogue, getting pictures taken.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:31] He's on top.

[1:13:31] And I think this is the stuff that's kind of the weakest part of the movie for me.

[1:13:34] Because I don't really give a shit about watching a nerd barely run a company.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:40] Well, at this, the movie has been so much about the fight to control Gucci.

[1:13:46] And now they have it.

[1:13:47] And it's like, now he's going to run this company into the ground.

[1:13:50] And it's like, yeah, I don't really care about Gucci the company.

[1:13:53] Like, the character I've been following up to this point is Patrizia.

[1:13:56] It's Lady Gaga.

[1:13:58] And now she recedes so far into the background.

[1:14:01] And it's like, okay, he's not running Gucci very well.

[1:14:04] Great.

[1:14:05] I don't care.

[1:14:06] You know.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:06] Well, speaking of Lady Gaga, she shows up to plead with him.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:09] Wait, I did like when you see he's wasting.

[1:14:12] So he's spending money poorly.

[1:14:13] And he buys this incredibly expensive car where the doors slide up.

[1:14:17] And he's so tall.

[1:14:17] Is that a Countach?

[1:14:18] A Lamborghini Countach?

[1:14:20] Something like that, yeah.

[1:14:21] And he's so tall that he gets into it so clumsily.

[1:14:24] And I thought that was a great moment.

[1:14:26] It's like, this guy is not fit for what he's doing.

[1:14:28] He's playing a role that he is.

[1:14:30] He really doesn't know how to pull off.

[1:14:31] He can barely get into this super expensive car that he just had the company buy for him.

[1:14:35] I thought that was a funny moment.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:36] The scene where Lady Gaga is waiting outside like the most spurned Staten Island Italian wife.

[1:14:46] Because he's so fucking mean to her.

[1:14:48] And she's trying to win him over with the fucking photo album of pictures of their family.

S2

[1:14:53] And she says, look what we created together.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:56] Oh, man.

[1:14:57] Like, ugh.

S2

[1:14:58] And he's like, nope, sorry, don't care, bye.

[1:15:01] He goes, Alexandra misses you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:05] He goes, I saw her two weeks ago.

[1:15:06] I'll see her again next weekend.

[1:15:08] And it's like, wow.

[1:15:08] And he's like, I'm busy.

[1:15:10] You're a bad dad.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:11] Like, yeah.

[1:15:12] He is, yeah, like peak evil ex-husband here.

[1:15:15] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:16] Oh, wait, Dan.

[1:15:17] I'm looking up.

[1:15:17] InvestCore is a real company.

[1:15:19] Yeah.

[1:15:20] Oh, okay.

[1:15:20] Yeah.

[1:15:21] InvestCore founded in 1982, headquartered in Bahrain.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:25] Well, she rages about being spurned to Salma Hayek while they lie around in mud baths, as we talked about before.

[1:15:35] Just, you know, smearing mud on each other's faces.

S2

[1:15:39] Not a thing ladies do when they're, like, maybe we would take mud baths together, but we wouldn't put the mud on each other in that way.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:46] But what if you're like Lady Gaga and you're being, like, really, like, menacing?

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:50] So, wait a minute.

[1:15:51] Would you instead, I don't know, perhaps.

[1:15:53] Menacingly playful.

[1:15:54] Wouldn't you perhaps, like, maybe have, like, a pillow fight that's, like, kind of playful?

[1:15:59] But, you know, you have enough force that the pillows rip open and there's, like, I mean, we're not talking about, like, modern pillows that are filled with, like, rubber or whatever.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:08] You know, like, buckwheat shells or something like that?

[1:16:12] Yeah.

[1:16:12] That's less fun.

[1:16:13] Less sexy for the pillow to rip open and just buckwheat holes fall everywhere.

[1:16:17] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:18] Yeah.

[1:16:18] Well, anyway, she leaves threatening messages.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:22] It is very funny to see them suddenly plotting while they're at a spa.

[1:16:25] And I was like, oh, so they took a spa day together?

[1:16:27] Yeah.

S2

[1:16:28] It's also interesting to see, like, I think the scenes with Selma Hayek, you realize there's no women in this movie.

[1:16:36] Yeah.

[1:16:36] And this is, like, the most women interact with each other in this movie.

[1:16:41] And it's sort of sad that it's, like, she has no friends that she can turn to.

[1:16:46] Just the psychic that she pays.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:48] There's a scene earlier in the movie where they're talking about how to handle Paolo.

[1:16:52] And Lady Gaga's like, well, he's surrounded by all this masculine energy.

[1:16:55] And I'm like, yeah, no shit, the whole movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:58] Yeah.

[1:16:58] It's not House of Bechdel test.

[1:17:00] Yeah.

[1:17:01] Yeah.

[1:17:01] Oh, wow.

[1:17:01] Let's say that.

[1:17:02] Cool.

[1:17:03] Cool.

S2

[1:17:03] Well, there usually isn't enough women to have a conversation between two women.

[1:17:08] True.

[1:17:09] So it's not even, like, there's a chance.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:11] Well, we see Selma Hayek and Lady Gaga in the next scene wearing black jackets and jeans, which shows that they are serious.

[1:17:19] Yeah.

[1:17:20] This is so funny.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:20] This is a fucking community theater Rizzo look.

[1:17:23] Yeah.

[1:17:24] It's so funny.

[1:17:24] They're like, we're going to go to a roadside dive to hire a hitman.

[1:17:28] We got to dress up like moms on their night out pretending to be bikers.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:32] Yeah.

[1:17:32] And they also argue over the cost.

[1:17:36] Lady Gaga is not going to go above 600 million lira for a hit.

[1:17:41] But they pay out.

[1:17:42] Which is roughly $75.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:43] That's a lot of money.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:44] Yeah.

[1:17:44] We Googled it, and I think it's like 35 grand maybe.

[1:17:49] Oh.

[1:17:50] That's a lot of money.

[1:17:51] Yeah, that's a lot of money.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:52] But the lira is a notoriously non-valuable currency.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:57] Yeah.

[1:17:58] And we go see Adam Driver at the fashion show with the assless pants.

[1:18:03] Yeah.

[1:18:03] Boy butt.

[1:18:05] Boy butt.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:05] And this is a big inflection moment in Gucci history, apparently.

[1:18:09] This is the first show that Tom Ford was their designer.

[1:18:13] Director Tom Ford?

[1:18:15] Yeah.

[1:18:15] Director Tom Ford.

[1:18:16] Yeah.

S2

[1:18:17] Related to Harrison Ford?

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:19] Nope.

[1:18:20] No.

[1:18:20] I don't think so.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:21] Co-owner of Ford's fuel station in the LAX JetBlue terminal?

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:25] I don't think so.

[1:18:27] Tom Ford's involved with that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:29] What about the Ford Fiesta?

[1:18:30] Are they related?

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:31] Well, Ford does so.

[1:18:32] Yeah, that's when they have that party.

[1:18:32] Tom Ford does so.

[1:18:33] I mean, the fashion show is quite a fiesta.

[1:18:35] But this, again, one of those scenes where it's like, this is an important moment for the history of the business.

[1:18:39] But it doesn't really carry much because you're not that interested in the business.

[1:18:44] But I will say the reason I bring it up, Tom Ford is played by Reeve Carney, who I did see on Broadway in Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark.

[1:18:50] Oh, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:51] And there is a moment where Adam Driver looks over and he thinks he sees Lady Gaga standing in the corner, like, in the shadows, like, lit by flashbulbs like she's a fucking Twin Peaks villain or something.

[1:19:05] Yeah.

[1:19:06] But that's just all in his mind.

[1:19:07] That's just foreshadowing of his doom.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:10] He's just haunted by it.

[1:19:11] And they spent a long time reading a positive review of this fashion show, which, again, watching it, I was like, yeah, I guess everyone loves this.

[1:19:20] It's like a lot of guys wearing leather vests with no shirt and, like, you know, kind of billy pants.

[1:19:26] Like, okay, I don't know.

[1:19:27] That's what everyone loves, Elliot.

S2

[1:19:28] You don't understand fashion.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:30] I mean, I don't understand fashion.

[1:19:32] It's very true.

[1:19:32] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:34] So they go to the investors' dinner afterwards and they're, like, the investors are telling Adam Driver that, like, look, all those stuff that was cheapening the brand, arguably, was also profitable and that profit's gone now.

[1:19:49] And meanwhile, Maurizio has been spending too much on personal items.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:55] They mention a $3 million watch, which is, they're like, the $3 million watch, the $7 million townhouse.

[1:20:01] I was like, even the townhouse, that's expensive.

[1:20:05] But, like, when you know your watch is slightly less than what you paid, less than half of what you paid for your building, that's too much for a watch.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:10] Yeah, you know, fucking Clock King heard that line.

[1:20:12] He's like, ooh.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:15] I mean, is it a watch that travels through time?

[1:20:18] Because then I could see it being worth it.

[1:20:19] Yeah.

[1:20:20] So they want to buy them out.

[1:20:21] Dan, so Dan, wait, Dan.

[1:20:22] So what's the most you would pay for a watch, Dan?

[1:20:24] Why are we waiting?

[1:20:25] We're so close to the end.

[1:20:25] That's what I want to get to.

[1:20:26] Dan, what's the most you would pay for a watch?

[1:20:29] What's the most I would pay for a watch?

[1:20:30] Watches get really expensive.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:31] Watches are wild because it's hard to find, like, a mid-priced watch.

[1:20:34] You can't be like, I want to spend, like, a hundred and some dollars on it.

[1:20:38] You know what's great watches?

[1:20:38] They cost either $20 or $17,000.

S2

[1:20:41] The museum of the MoMA store.

[1:20:44] The MoMA store has pretty good, interesting watches.

[1:20:47] Okay.

[1:20:48] Yeah, do that.

[1:20:49] Okay, cool.

[1:20:50] Okay.

[1:20:50] That's a hot tip.

[1:20:51] Okay, we're going to go to the store right now.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:53] Let's throw this shit on TikTok.

[1:20:55] Okay.

[1:20:55] Well, the MoMA store sounds great.

[1:20:57] Let's head over there right now.

[1:20:59] And I snap my fingers and suddenly we're at the MoMA store and there's someone from the

[1:21:02] store showing off the watches to us.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:03] Wait, this is that British show that, like, the guy just snaps his fingers and then, like,

[1:21:07] they change the backdrop?

[1:21:08] What was that?

[1:21:09] Connections.

[1:21:09] I don't know that show.

[1:21:10] Oh, anyway.

[1:21:12] Let's please move on.

S2

[1:21:13] Wait, let's get back to Tom Ford.

[1:21:15] They don't say his name at all that, like, Dan was confused about.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:19] Well, they don't say it until he's reading his review.

[1:21:22] Yeah.

[1:21:23] So until then, they're like, we got this young guy from Texas.

[1:21:26] And I was like, okay, who is this?

[1:21:27] I don't care.

[1:21:28] Like, tell me his name.

[1:21:29] I don't know it.

[1:21:30] Whereas I'm sure the people, it's the moment, this is for the fashion fans, what it was when,

[1:21:35] like, Thanos shows up at the end of the first Avengers movie where I was like, Thanos?

[1:21:39] So they're like, someone had to whisper to their date, that's Tom Ford.

S2

[1:21:42] But they really waited for that payoff because you meet Tom Ford in a different scene.

[1:21:48] And then, like, things happen.

[1:21:50] Then the fashion show happens.

[1:21:51] And then you get his name.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:52] Or when the wind tour showed up.

[1:21:53] But he's also reading his review about himself in the third person.

[1:21:57] So I was still at that point confused, like, whether he was Tom Ford or whether someone else that we saw.

S2

[1:22:05] I only knew because I looked up, like, the cast and I saw.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:09] Yeah.

[1:22:09] Let's get back to.

[1:22:10] If ever there was a movie that could have benefited from, like, the way they do in The Irishman where people's names come up on screen when they appear.

[1:22:18] Like, this could have benefited from that.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:19] Point is, they want to buy him out for $150 million and make the lawyer CEO.

[1:22:24] But he throws his food down the floor and walks out.

[1:22:27] We return now to the beginning scenes of the movie, which take their sweet time replaying considering that this movie is almost three hours long.

[1:22:36] And we've already seen this footage before.

[1:22:37] Yeah.

[1:22:38] Much of it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:38] We get some full-on, like, I'm-gonna-live-forever, king-of-the-world type bike riding from our boy Adam Driver.

[1:22:43] Yeah.

[1:22:43] But he gets shot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:44] Totally unearned.

[1:22:46] He's just been told that his company is falling apart and they want to push him out.

[1:22:48] And he's like, you know what?

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:50] Everything's going great.

[1:22:51] I would argue that he has realized that he never actually wanted to be in that company.

[1:22:58] Oh, maybe.

[1:22:58] And that he is free again.

[1:23:00] He's riding a bike.

[1:23:00] He's living his fucking best life, baby.

[1:23:03] Unfortunately, it's running out.

[1:23:05] Sands through the hourglass.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:05] And he's established himself as his own man, which he never could before.

[1:23:09] Before he was always his father's son.

[1:23:11] That makes sense.

[1:23:12] I see that now.

[1:23:12] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:12] But sadly, at his moment of greatest triumph at getting bought out, he gets shot multiple times and dies.

[1:23:21] We see Lady Gaga write Paradiso in her journal in really shaky handwriting for reasons that I'm not quite clear on.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:29] Which is what happened because it happened in real life because that's what Patrizia Reggiani did in real life.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:35] Yeah.

[1:23:36] Well, she shows up crying at the house where her husband's mistress is and hugs her and then kicks her out of the house.

[1:23:44] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:44] She gives her a hug and then she's like, okay.

[1:23:47] Escort her off the property.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:49] Beautiful moment.

[1:23:50] Shoulder checks her.

[1:23:51] She like body checked her.

[1:23:52] Yeah.

[1:23:53] Like that's the kind of moment the movie needed so much more of.

[1:23:56] It's like the movie picks up momentum as it goes, like a snowball rolling downhill.

[1:24:00] So by this point, Lady Gaga is doing this type of dynasty level soap opera stuff.

[1:24:05] Like we really wanted the whole movie.

[1:24:06] Yeah.

[1:24:07] She's crying and she hugs the crying mistress and then goes, escort her out of my house.

[1:24:12] That was so good.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:13] For as slow as the recap first scenes were, then we abruptly cut to two years later.

[1:24:19] We're in court.

[1:24:20] Lady Gaga, Pina, and the hitman are sent to jail.

[1:24:23] We are told with text on screen.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:26] She clarifies that it's not Patricia Reggiani.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:30] It's Patricia Gucci.

[1:24:32] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:32] Yeah.

[1:24:33] But they're all sent for, from between 20 and 30 years in jail.

[1:24:37] One of them gets a life sentence.

[1:24:39] I can't forget which one.

[1:24:40] Probably the guy who killed.

[1:24:42] Yeah.

[1:24:43] Aldo and Paolo die, we learn.

[1:24:47] And Gucci is successful under Tom Ford.

[1:24:49] No more Gucci's actually serve for the house of Gucci.

[1:24:54] Which it says as if it's.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:55] I had kind of hoped that when they said Aldo and Paolo died, it was going to be through some like kitchen hijinks.

[1:25:03] Aldo and Paolo died.

[1:25:04] Pressure cooker accident.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:06] Died trying to catch a mouse that was running loose in their apartment.

[1:25:10] Yeah.

[1:25:10] Turns out it really was a moose.

[1:25:13] Yeah.

[1:25:14] They had put out a mouse trap and then a moose came out and stomped on them.

[1:25:19] Yeah.

[1:25:20] Hit them with the antlers.

[1:25:20] It's tragic.

[1:25:21] But they say, at the end it says, there are no Gucci's involved in the Gucci business.

[1:25:25] Like, okay, there's no McDonald's.

[1:25:27] Is that McDonald's anymore either?

[1:25:28] Like, I don't know what to tell.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:29] They tell us how well the fucking brand is doing.

[1:25:32] And I'm like, I don't give a shit about that.

[1:25:34] Capitalism sucks.

[1:25:35] Yeah.

S2

[1:25:36] Yeah.

[1:25:36] Like, we're supposed to be in awe.

[1:25:38] Like, wow.

[1:25:39] The Gucci brand lives.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:41] All that stuff happens, but Gucci endures.

[1:25:43] I guess there is justice in the universe.

[1:25:46] You know.

[1:25:47] But it's very abrupt.

[1:25:49] The movie has spent so much time building everything up.

[1:25:52] And then it's like, he's dead.

[1:25:54] They're on trial.

[1:25:55] Goodbye, folks.

[1:25:56] That's the end of the movie.

S2

[1:25:57] They could have cut some of that, like, button fiddling in the sex scene and spend a little

[1:26:02] more time at the ending.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:04] Or make the sex scene longer and have Lady Gaga use her stiletto heels to pop the button

[1:26:09] off of his pants.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:10] Yep.

[1:26:10] That was so good.

[1:26:13] Okay.

[1:26:13] Well, let's do final judgments.

[1:26:15] Whether it's a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie we kind of liked.

[1:26:18] I, you know, I'll start off very quickly.

[1:26:20] Yeah.

[1:26:20] I like this movie.

[1:26:21] Like, I think that, I think it was too long.

[1:26:24] I think it could have, you know, benefited for someone, a director who was, you know,

[1:26:31] not afraid of being a little sillier.

[1:26:33] Like, I think that, I think that it really needed to lean into the, like, murders of the rich

[1:26:39] and famous element of it.

[1:26:41] Like, at its heart.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:43] It should have been soapier and, you know, staudrier.

[1:26:47] Yeah.

[1:26:47] I will not say this very often about anything, but like, I feel like Ryan Murphy could have

[1:26:52] handled this.

[1:26:52] Like, one of his shitty shows.

[1:26:54] Like, he can hit that kind of tone right.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:57] Yeah.

[1:26:58] I feel like, yeah, you wanted either, like I was saying earlier, you wanted either the

[1:27:01] Almodovar version of it, which would be like the art trash version of it, because his movies,

[1:27:05] as beautiful as they are, have like their sleaze elements, which he revels in.

[1:27:09] Or the Ryan Murphy version of it, where it's just like, ooh, what did she say?

S2

[1:27:13] Can you believe that?

[1:27:14] Oh my God.

[1:27:15] That kind of stuff, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:16] So, yeah.

[1:27:18] Yeah, I would say, this is a rare Flap House movie that I've watched twice now.

[1:27:22] And I'm going to say, it's a movie I kind of like.

[1:27:25] There's sequences that I really enjoy.

[1:27:27] I mean, I feel like there's, as I think I've explained, like, there's all sections of the

[1:27:31] movie I don't really care about.

[1:27:33] But I do really enjoy, basically, anytime Lady Gaga's on screen, I think she's great and makes

[1:27:39] the movie really fun.

[1:27:40] And of course, the Aldo Paolo stuff's great.

S2

[1:27:44] Everyone's giving it their all.

[1:27:45] It's a lot of fun, like you said.

[1:27:48] I, like, they either needed to cut or expand Selma Hayek's role in it, where I understand

[1:27:54] why it's there, because she's part of the murder.

[1:27:58] But also, it was like, they would cut to these scenes and nothing happens and cut away again.

[1:28:02] So if they could cut some of that out, this would be a lot more fun.

[1:28:07] And everyone was really good at it.

[1:28:09] So...

[1:28:10] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:10] Yeah.

[1:28:11] This is a...

S2

[1:28:12] What's the options?

[1:28:14] Yeah, Dan.

[1:28:14] You liked it.

[1:28:15] I liked it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:16] Yeah, I also liked it.

[1:28:17] I mean, this is one of the things where it's like, I feel like too often we work on a binary

[1:28:22] of good movie or bad movie.

[1:28:24] Yeah.

[1:28:24] And this is like, it's not great, but it's not a bad movie.

[1:28:28] And it was, and I enjoyed a lot of it.

[1:28:30] And it was like, to watch a movie where it's like, okay, like there's flaws in this and

[1:28:34] I can recognize the flaws.

[1:28:35] But yeah, like the acting is, the performances are great and the makeup's fantastic.

[1:28:40] And there's a lot of fun scenes and like...

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:42] And I genuinely like the choice to take like popular songs that are like blended in, like

[1:28:49] either Italian versions or versions that have like Italian opera elements.

[1:28:52] I think that matches with like the tone.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:55] Well, I think it's the tone they're going for.

[1:28:58] I feel like the opera, whenever the opera started playing, it was like what I'm seeing

[1:29:01] on screen is not at the level that the opera's at.

[1:29:04] Like I want to see it being nuts.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:06] But I mean the idea of like blending American like pop culture, like trash culture with something

[1:29:13] that is like elevated in a way.

S2

[1:29:15] I want to mention, we saw Natalie Walker's cabaret show.

[1:29:20] Is that what you would call it?

[1:29:21] Yeah.

[1:29:22] And one of the things she did was sing opera while video of the Real Housewives were on

[1:29:29] in the background.

[1:29:30] And so there's the captions of what's happening there.

[1:29:33] And she's like, no, look, it's the same thing.

[1:29:35] Opera and the Real Housewives is the same thing.

[1:29:37] And I think that's sort of what this movie was trying to do.

[1:29:41] And it just needed just a little, like everyone just needed to get on Jared Leto's level.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:46] Yeah.

[1:29:47] And the look of the movie and the way it was edited and stuff like that needed to be on.

[1:29:52] Yeah.

[1:29:53] It needed that, the thing that opera and Real Housewives have in common is like emotions

[1:29:58] at their highest pitch.

[1:30:00] And like that's what this movie needed more of.

[1:30:01] But at the same time, that doesn't make it a bad movie.

[1:30:03] It's like a solid three-star movie.

[1:30:05] You know?

[1:30:05] Yeah.

[1:30:05] It's a movie that's trying to be a four-star movie, but it's a three-star movie.

[1:30:08] That's okay.

[1:30:09] Yeah.

S2

[1:30:09] But it'll probably win costuming, makeup.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:11] Yeah, makeup effects.

S2

[1:30:12] Maybe one of the actors.

[1:30:14] Depends.

[1:30:15] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:16] It's the rare movie that makes you think, though, like, oh, I wish you could be more like Jared

[1:30:21] Leto.

[1:30:23] Very rare.

[1:30:23] Almost never happens.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:25] Wait.

[1:30:26] Explain why.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:28] It almost never happens that you're like, Jared Leto, yes, do that.

[1:30:32] I want that to be what this is.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:35] I thought you were saying that it's the rare movie that makes you want to be Jared Leto.

[1:30:38] And I was like, you want to be Paolo?

[1:30:39] Like, that doesn't make any sense.

[1:30:40] He seems like he's having fun.

[1:30:41] Hey, yeah.

[1:30:42] Paolo.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:42] He died in poverty.

[1:30:44] Modest dreams.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:46] Hey.

[1:30:46] He died in poverty before the final events.

[1:30:49] This is also, this is a tiny thing, but the movie is like, in this year, the murder happened.

[1:30:54] And then text, it's like, Aldo and Paolo died in these years.

[1:30:57] And it's like, wait, but that's before the murder stuff happened.

[1:30:59] So, but anyway, House of Gucci.

[1:31:03] Runway, don't walkway to House of Gucci.

[1:31:06] That would be my quote if I really loved it.

[1:31:07] Terrible.

[1:31:09] You should be ashamed.

S5

[1:31:15] You're in a theater.

[1:31:16] The lights go down.

[1:31:18] You're about to get swept up by the characters and all their little details and interpersonal dramas.

[1:31:23] You look at them and think, that person is so obviously in love with their best friend.

[1:31:27] Wait, am I in love with my best friend?

[1:31:29] That character's mom is so overbearing.

[1:31:31] Why doesn't she just stand up to her?

[1:31:32] Oh, God, do I need to stand up to my own mother?

[1:31:35] If you've ever recognized yourself in a movie, then join me, Jordan Kruciola, for the podcast Feeling Seen.

[1:31:41] We've talked to author Susan Orlean on realizing her own marriage was falling apart after watching Adaptation, an adaptation of her own work,

[1:31:48] and comedian Hari Kondabolu on why Harold and Kumar was a depressingly important movie for Southeast Asians.

[1:31:55] So join me every Thursday for the Feeling Seen podcast here on Maximum Fun.

S6

[1:32:00] I'm Lisa Hanawalt.

[1:32:01] And I'm Emily Heller.

[1:32:02] Nine years ago, we started a podcast to try and learn something new every episode.

[1:32:06] Things have gone a little off the rails since then.

[1:32:09] Tune in to hear about.

[1:32:10] Low stakes neighborhood drama.

[1:32:12] Gardening.

[1:32:13] The sordid, nasty underbelly of the horse girl lifestyle.

[1:32:17] Hot sauce.

[1:32:18] Addiction to TV and sweaty takes on celebrity culture.

[1:32:21] And the weirdest, grossest stuff you can find on wikipedia.org.

[1:32:25] We'll read all of it no matter how gross.

[1:32:28] There's something for everyone on our podcast, Baby Geniuses.

[1:32:31] Hosted by us, two horny adult idiots.

[1:32:33] Hang out with us as we try and fail to retain any knowledge at all.

[1:32:37] Every other week on Maximum Fun.

S2

[1:32:40] Geniuses.

[1:32:41] Tell us something we don't know.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:42] What I have now is an ad.

[1:32:44] It's from Squarespace.

[1:32:46] Squarespace is one of our sponsors.

[1:32:49] Actually, the only one other than you, the listener right now, for this episode.

[1:32:55] Not in general.

[1:32:55] What am I saying?

[1:32:56] I'm getting it confused.

[1:32:57] Let's start over and say that this show is sponsored in part by Squarespace.

[1:33:03] Where you can turn your cool idea into a new website, blog, or publish content, sell products and services of all kinds, and much more.

[1:33:10] Squarespace does this by giving you beautiful, customizable templates created by world-class designers with everything optimized for mobile right out of the box.

[1:33:20] A new way to buy domains and choose from over 200 extensions and free and secure hosting.

[1:33:26] So, why not head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial.

[1:33:31] And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:41] Now, Dan, I had an idea for a website and I was wondering if Squarespace could help me out with it.

[1:33:44] I would love to hear it.

[1:33:46] So, it's a website.

[1:33:47] I was inspired by the movie.

[1:33:48] It's called mooseormouse.com.

[1:33:50] Let's say you got an animal in your house.

[1:33:51] You caught one.

[1:33:52] Is it a moose or a mouse?

[1:33:53] You don't know.

[1:33:54] Send it to us.

[1:33:55] Our team of experts will figure out whether it's a moose or a mouse and we'll give you the results within four to six months.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:01] Now, what's the postage situation on this?

[1:34:03] Because, I mean, postage for a moose, obviously, much higher than a mouse.

[1:34:08] One would presume.

[1:34:08] Yes, that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:09] You have to pay postage.

[1:34:11] Okay.

[1:34:12] And if you want it sent back to you, you have to pay postage back to you.

[1:34:15] Otherwise, we just release it into a parking lot.

S2

[1:34:17] But what about moose the cake?

[1:34:19] Like, the dessert.

[1:34:21] Do you also look into that?

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:23] What about moose the character that attends Riverdale High School?

[1:34:26] From Archie?

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:27] These are all things you can send that to us.

[1:34:29] But, Audrey, I'm very glad you mentioned moose the cake because we have a sister site, shitorchocolate.com.

[1:34:34] You don't have to send it to us.

[1:34:37] Just send us a picture and we can usually figure it out from that.

[1:34:40] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:41] Context clues often is good enough.

[1:34:43] Yeah.

S2

[1:34:44] So there's a real Japanese show where people take bites out of things and it could be chocolate or it could be the real thing.

[1:34:52] So it's like they'll put a shoe in front of you.

[1:34:55] Wait, to play the real thing?

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:56] Like, like.

[1:34:57] The Faith No More album?

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:59] So it's like chocolate or it's like a chocolate shoe or a real shoe.

S2

[1:35:03] Yeah.

[1:35:03] So they'll just shove something in your face.

[1:35:06] You just leap of faith, take a bite, and you're like, oh, okay, whoo, that was chocolate.

[1:35:11] Or sometimes, oh, ooh, that was leather from a shoe.

[1:35:14] I don't think.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:15] I don't.

[1:35:16] Sorry.

[1:35:16] This is a.

[1:35:17] From what I recall, I don't think they just shove things in your face and they're like, take a bite.

[1:35:21] I think you're like, if I remember the clip we watched.

[1:35:23] Well, there was one that was a table.

S2

[1:35:25] So then you.

[1:35:27] You're in a room and you have to like.

[1:35:28] Get down to the table's leg and you bite it.

[1:35:29] Like they don't bring the table to you.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:31] Well, no, but you have to like figure out what in the room you're going to bite.

[1:35:34] And then you're like, oh, I hope it's chocolate.

[1:35:37] I don't know.

S2

[1:35:37] It was in Japanese.

[1:35:39] So I couldn't tell if that's the rules of the game.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:41] Yeah.

[1:35:42] And I'd also like to remind listeners that we have not a sponsor for the show exactly, but a thing that I did that is available for sale.

[1:35:49] That's right.

[1:35:50] The Maniac of New York.

[1:35:51] The Bronx is burning.

[1:35:52] My new Maniac of New York series from Aftershock Comics.

[1:35:54] Number two.

[1:35:55] Issue number two should be on comic book store shelves as you listen to this episode.

[1:35:59] So that's the new series.

[1:36:00] Maniac of New York.

[1:36:03] Please buy them.

[1:36:04] And if you like them and you buy them, then maybe I'll hopefully get to do more of them.

[1:36:07] So go to your local comic book store and tell them, make mine, Maniac of New York.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:14] Yeah.

[1:36:15] Thanks for adding the extra words at the end.

[1:36:17] Because it might confuse them if you just said the first part.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:20] Yeah.

[1:36:20] Then they'll give you a 4K Blu-ray copy of Maniac.

[1:36:25] Yeah.

[1:36:25] The remake starring Elijah Wood.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:27] Wow.

[1:36:27] Not the William Lustig film.

[1:36:29] Everyone loves Elijah Wood.

[1:36:31] Everyone loves Elijah Wood.

[1:36:33] Says Audrey.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:35] E-L-Cool-E-J-E-W.

[1:36:37] Everyone loves Cool Elijah Wood.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:40] Hey, this letter is from a listener.

[1:36:44] Hey.

[1:36:44] And the listener is called Tyler Last Name Withheld.

[1:36:47] Hi.

[1:36:47] Perry?

[1:36:48] Who writes,

[1:36:50] After quitting on Fear of the Walking Dead after its first season, I was recently surprised to find out that one of its most recent seasons featured a doomsday cult nuking Texas.

[1:37:02] What are some examples you've had of being temporarily detached from an ongoing media and being baffled by how wild a shift it underwent?

[1:37:11] Thanks, Tyler Last Name Withheld.

[1:37:13] I got to be honest.

[1:37:15] I couldn't think of a situation where I dipped out and dipped back in because usually if I dip out, I'm out.

[1:37:23] But I will say that the example I think of, I thought of for this was Angel where they, in the last season.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:34] Student by day, stripper by night.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:35] And spoiler alert for the show Angel.

[1:37:37] Oh, man.

[1:37:38] Don't.

[1:37:39] They made a show about that, Elliot?

[1:37:41] I guess so.

[1:37:43] Dan's talking about it.

[1:37:44] In the last season, they become, they're put in charge of what was previously their largest enemies.

[1:37:51] And the idea that they could change it from the inside, which was a big shift in what the show was.

[1:37:59] And honestly, I thought that that last season finally found its footing before then going off the air.

[1:38:06] But do you guys have thoughts about it?

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:08] Yeah.

[1:38:08] I mean, this is kind of a tough question.

[1:38:11] I think of, I can think of plenty examples where I took time away from a media that I really liked.

[1:38:18] And then when I went back to it, I had changed in some way.

[1:38:22] Like, I mean, I hate to say it, but I, I, uh, I love the Venture Brothers, but when I came back to it after a long break, I realized I'm like, this just isn't for me anymore.

[1:38:32] Like this is for whatever reason, the, the, I don't know if it's, I don't think it's any different than it originally was.

[1:38:38] I'm just, I'm just a different Stuart now.

[1:38:40] This is not my, uh, my cup of worms.

[1:38:43] Um, or, uh, or like something where.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:46] Do you, I mean, a cup of worms is something you would normally like, but if it's under the right circumstances.

[1:38:50] Gummy worms.

[1:38:51] Okay.

[1:38:52] Fair point.

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:54] Uh, I'm surprised.

[1:38:55] Cool.

[1:38:56] Cool.

[1:38:56] I'm surprised you didn't just assume that the, or something where like I started a show and then I put it down because like something like, I remember I started you and I watched the first season.

[1:39:07] I started the second season.

[1:39:08] I'm like, uh, uh, I'll take some time away from this.

[1:39:12] Cause I had ingested so much at once.

[1:39:14] Uh, and I wasn't really vibing.

[1:39:16] And then when I came back, you know, like a year later, I was like, oh wait, I really liked, I liked this.

[1:39:20] I liked, I liked this more than the first season.

S2

[1:39:23] Dan loved that second season so much.

[1:39:25] He was texting me.

[1:39:27] I remember he was not at home.

[1:39:28] He was texting me the ending of it.

[1:39:30] I never watched the show.

[1:39:31] And he's like, you, you won't believe what happened.

[1:39:33] This is, this show is wild.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:35] I was making clear that I, you know, I made, I, uh, I made sure that Audrey was not going to watch the show.

[1:39:41] Wow.

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:42] You are, you are, you're saving yourself and taking some serious anti-spoilers heat from people.

[1:39:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:47] Uh, I had that experience, a, not exactly the same experience, but a little bit with, uh, where the X-Men comics are right now.

[1:39:54] That's a, I've been, I realized recently that I've been reading, uh, I've been following Marvel comics characters for almost 30 years, which is ridiculous.

[1:40:02] It's not something anyone should do, but I've been doing that.

[1:40:04] And, uh, I took a little bit of break from the X-Men family books, and then there was a big kind of reboot of them, or not reboot, but a change of the way they work and everything like that.

[1:40:14] And it's ongoing now still, uh, and there's a lot of fans for it, but it's just not to my taste.

[1:40:20] And all the characters are acting not in the way that I am used to them acting.

[1:40:24] And so it's like, there was this big status quo shift in the comics where I can't quite wrap my mind around these characters doing these things now.

[1:40:32] But at this point, it's been the status quo in the X-Men for over a year.

[1:40:35] So it's not like, so at this point, I'm the one who's out of step with it, you know?

Dan McCoy

[1:40:39] Give me a tasty example, because, uh, I probably checked out on X-Men at a similar.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:45] So this, so the big storyline now is that the X-Men have started their own country, which they've done before, but now they're really doing it.

[1:40:52] And they've started their own country.

[1:40:53] Only mutants are allowed to be there.

[1:40:55] It's a mutant paradise, which the comics represent as it being a place where people are constantly just drinking.

[1:41:00] And like, all they do is dance and drink all the time and nothing else goes on there.

[1:41:04] Is that not paradise?

[1:41:05] Yeah.

[1:41:05] Well, I mean, there's gotta be some, I mean, the part of the problem is that the characters do nothing recreationally except drink.

[1:41:11] So there's nothing going on on the island but drinking.

[1:41:14] But, uh, they've decided that instead of living in the shadows, they are now going to become the most powerful nation on Earth and kind of push everyone, all the other nations around.

[1:41:22] And they made a big show of taking Mars and saying, this is ours now.

[1:41:25] It's our planet.

[1:41:26] We're colonizing it.

[1:41:27] And it just feels like the, um, it's a different morality than the comics I'm used to, where in the traditional X-Men comics, we're like, we gotta figure out a way to live together, humans and mutants.

[1:41:38] And this morality is, we've been pushed around long enough, it's time to start pushing the rest of the world around.

[1:41:44] And it's very, um, separatist as opposed to integrationist, you know.

[1:41:48] And it's just, and, uh, characters are going along with this plan that it seems unrealistic to me, you know, that they would, their personalities would.

[1:41:57] But, you know, maybe I'm just out of touch and we live in more confrontational times and it's, and the old, the old soft liberalism has given way to the hard-edged, um, liberalism of today.

[1:42:08] So, I don't know, I can't figure it out, but eventually it'll be rebooted and they'll be back to, like, being in a school and, like, going into space every now and then.

[1:42:15] So, you know.

Dan McCoy

[1:42:16] Uh, this, uh.

[1:42:17] Oh, I have an answer.

[1:42:18] Oh, sorry.

[1:42:19] Can Audrey answer the question, Dan?

[1:42:21] I actually have multiple answers.

[1:42:22] Wow.

[1:42:23] Wow.

[1:42:24] Wow.

[1:42:24] You know, Audrey always asks me what the questions are for the podcast.

[1:42:28] And I think gives them significantly more thought than I do.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:33] Yeah, Dan, there's just one word I can say to the way you treated Audrey and that's wow.

[1:42:36] Let me say it backwards.

[1:42:37] Wow.

[1:42:37] Let me say it upside down.

[1:42:39] Mom.

[1:42:39] Anyway, Audrey, continue.

S2

[1:42:41] Um, the three examples I can think of start off more conventional and I think at some point they realize, oh, we could go weird with this.

[1:42:51] So, number one, Archer, which.

[1:42:54] Yeah.

[1:42:54] They've gone through so many stories that they're like, let's take this.

[1:42:58] What was it?

[1:42:58] Like a country, like southern thing.

[1:43:02] Well, it was like.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:03] There was a noir one.

[1:43:04] There's a noir one in the 40s.

[1:43:06] Okay, now it's like an 80s, like a drug running thing.

[1:43:09] Yeah.

[1:43:09] Now they're in outer space.

[1:43:11] And now it's like an Indiana Jones type thing.

[1:43:13] And they definitely lost me through those because it was like, am I going to watch a whole season of what kind of feels like fan fiction about these characters?

[1:43:20] I think so.

S2

[1:43:20] Yeah.

[1:43:21] So there's that.

[1:43:22] I mean, community is a big one.

[1:43:23] That's not, that's not even one of the.

[1:43:25] Oh, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:25] Well, I mean, that was just like, they just turned over basically the entire cast by the end.

S2

[1:43:30] Well, like, so the two other ones are Search Party and AP Bio.

[1:43:34] So Search Party's first season was really a little more straightforward in the, like, this group of friends trying to find their friend and those adventures that they have while doing it.

[1:43:48] And then it just kept turning into a different thing.

[1:43:51] And it's all equally good.

[1:43:53] Do you watch Search Party?

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:55] I watched, I think I'm like halfway through the second season.

[1:43:59] Yeah.

S2

[1:43:59] It just, like, drastically changes what it is.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:02] We're partly into the fifth season and it's almost in, like, science fiction territory now.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:07] I should give it another try.

[1:44:08] I watched the first episode of the first season and I found the characters so unpleasant to spend time with.

[1:44:13] Oh, you will.

[1:44:13] They're very unpleasant.

[1:44:15] Over time, you'll kind of learn to, I don't know, appreciate their unpleasantness.

[1:44:20] I can also choose not to spend my time getting to know unpleasant characters.

[1:44:23] Yeah, but it's a good show.

[1:44:24] It's the same way anytime someone's like, start this new show, it starts out rough, but by the end of the first season, it's great.

[1:44:30] And I'm like, so you tell me you have to spend 11 hours, 12 hours for you?

[1:44:33] Well, you can do what you want.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:35] I both get it, like, in that there's some characters that I'm like, I just can't spend time with you.

[1:44:39] But also, like, I don't look to fiction for, like, people that I necessarily want to spend time with.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:46] No, I mean, there are many shows where there are unpleasant characters.

[1:44:48] I mean, like, I love Mad Men.

[1:44:49] Most of those characters are assholes.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:51] But that perfectly maps onto your ethical and moral fucking standards, Elliot.

[1:44:56] Mad Men.

[1:44:57] That's the thing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:58] Yeah.

[1:44:58] Because anyway, what happened to men that were not allowed to be, like, men anymore?

[1:45:03] Anyway, but –

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:04] Is that what Mad Men's about?

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:07] Yeah, well, it's kind of not about that.

[1:45:09] But the – when I'm saying that they were unpleasant, like, I only want to watch things with characters I like.

[1:45:15] It was more like these characters were not – it was not – it was not – I didn't get to the point where I was like, these characters are intriguingly unpleasant to me.

[1:45:23] Or the same way that, like, that show Forever that came out with my Rudolph and Fred Armisen from a few years ago where I was like, show, I do not want to spend – like, I do not like these people.

[1:45:36] And this show is not intriguing me into figuring out why.

[1:45:39] Yeah.

[1:45:39] As opposed to something like, I don't know, any number of other shows where it's an unpleasant character but you're like, oh, but this show has really grabbed me.

[1:45:49] But I think it's more a matter of personal taste.

[1:45:52] So take it or leave it.

[1:45:53] I'm not saying it's a bad show nor am I saying that nobody else should watch it.

S2

[1:45:57] Yeah, I wouldn't – I wouldn't try to convince you to do something you don't want to do.

[1:46:01] I do think that there are certain shows – it's hard to find a show where they, like, they can take it to somewhere that's so different.

[1:46:10] Yeah.

[1:46:11] That, like, just the idea that you could start with something and just keep shifting it in this way that they're letting them do is interesting.

[1:46:19] But, I mean, don't watch it if you don't want to.

[1:46:21] I know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:21] I mean, I should also mention – part of the issue is that unlike you guys, I live in a world where I have roughly a half hour at the end of every day that is my entertainment time for grownups between putting a child to bed and then finishing my chores before going to bed myself.

[1:46:37] We all make choices, dude.

Stuart Wellington

[1:46:38] I didn't tell you to have kids.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:40] No, that's true.

[1:46:41] No, I mean I am in a world entirely of my own choosing.

[1:46:44] Sammy didn't like it.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:46] I love Stuart's resolute refusal to give you any sympathy for – you made your own cage, dude.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:55] But it reminds me like when the Wet Hot American Summer Show came out and my friends who at the time did not have a child yet were like, we just had to sit down and watch the whole series over a weekend.

[1:47:05] We just – basically in one sitting and I was like, well, I don't have that option.

[1:47:09] I know I've removed – that door is one that I closed myself.

[1:47:12] No one closed it for me, but the door is closed, you know.

S2

[1:47:16] Yeah.

[1:47:17] And the last one is AP Bio, which started out as more of a –

[1:47:21] Traditional sitcom.

[1:47:22] Yeah, traditional sitcom.

[1:47:23] And I think it moved to Peacock and they realized, oh, we can do whatever we want.

[1:47:29] And it really is just like an experiment in what a sitcom could be.

[1:47:33] Like I think one episode is just – what are those called when it's like previously on?

[1:47:40] Oh, okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:41] Yeah, I think they just usually call them previously on.

S2

[1:47:43] Yeah, and they just kept using recaps throughout the whole show for, you know, 20 minutes.

[1:47:48] That sounds great.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:49] So it's like Memento the show.

[1:47:51] Yeah.

[1:47:52] I should – I forgot – wait, I forgot to mention one thing about that X-Men series I wanted to mention.

[1:47:57] They've also – part of the society they've created on this X-Men island is that everyone can be brought back to life.

[1:48:02] No one dies forever.

[1:48:04] But if you – all these mutants have lost their powers, and if they want their powers back, they have to be murdered in a gladiator arena by some – one of the X-Men so that they can be reborn.

[1:48:15] Like Dragon Ball Z?

[1:48:16] What?

[1:48:17] Maybe.

[1:48:18] But there's part of me that's like I kind of can't buy a world where the heroes have to like murder people in order to reward them with getting their powers back.

[1:48:25] So X-Men has passed me by.

[1:48:27] I'm too soft.

[1:48:27] I'm too old and soft.

Dan McCoy

[1:48:28] If they want their powers back, they have to open the powers booth and step inside.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:33] I mean if only – it's like an old-fashioned police box.

[1:48:39] No, it looks like – but it's got powers booth – but it's got – but with powers booth's face on the top, Stuart.

[1:48:45] That's what I'm saying.

[1:48:45] It's a booth with powers booth's face on it.

[1:48:47] Okay, fine.

[1:48:48] You get partial credit.

Stuart Wellington

[1:48:50] This is –

S2

[1:48:51] Everyone, Stuart's really bobbing his head back and forth like fine.

Dan McCoy

[1:48:57] Loud, I guess.

[1:48:58] Yeah, real bobblehead.

[1:49:00] This is from Amelia Last Day Withheld who writes, dear peaches –

[1:49:04] Bedelia?

[1:49:05] Amelia?

[1:49:05] It has to be.

[1:49:06] Could be Amelia Bedelia.

[1:49:07] It has to be Bedelia.

Stuart Wellington

[1:49:08] I'm assuming Amelia heard that for the first time ever just now on the podcast.

Dan McCoy

[1:49:15] Recently, we discovered three wasp nests inside our chimney.

[1:49:19] We found this out when dozens of wasps started pouring out of the fireplace one afternoon.

Elliott Kalan

[1:49:25] That's horrible.

[1:49:26] Wait, are they sure it wasn't that a mummy had been awoken somewhere in the house?

Dan McCoy

[1:49:29] Could be.

[1:49:30] Well, as the rest of the family screamed and proceeded to make human-shaped holes in our walls,

[1:49:36] I began the job of getting the wasps out of the house and taping mosquito netting over the fireplace.

[1:49:41] The whole time I was swatting angry insects out of my way, I kept thinking, wow, Candyman is scary.

[1:49:47] I hope the new movie captures this intense, horrifying confusion of swarming bees coming at you from nowhere.

[1:49:54] Which made me think, have the flopsters ever lived through a moment that was straight out of a movie?

[1:50:00] Or has something ever happened that was so perfectly timed slash orchestrated that you swore a director had set it up?

[1:50:08] Amelia.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:10] Does anything come to you?

[1:50:11] I'm going to credit Amelia for being so not like Amelia Bedelia who would have totally screwed up that situation.

[1:50:17] Yeah.

[1:50:17] And this Amelia was on top of it.

[1:50:19] That's really fast thinking and I applaud you.

Dan McCoy

[1:50:22] Oh, you got to swat the wasps?

[1:50:24] Amelia Bedelia calls the SWAT team in and they're like, oh, Amelia Bedelia, our bullets were of no use against these wasps.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50:31] Yes, she calls the SWAT team on a mainline Protestant church in Connecticut.

[1:50:36] And then it's like, no, Amelia Bedelia.

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:38] Because she hates playing against them in Call of Duty.

[1:50:40] Yeah.

[1:50:43] I mean, I've had my own run-ins with stinging insects.

[1:50:47] If you listen back to an early mini where I was trying to get firewood and I was kicking a log and all of a sudden bees poured out and I lost my bees.

[1:50:56] If only beers poured out.

[1:50:58] That would have been great if beer had poured out.

[1:50:59] Oh, yeah.

[1:51:00] Yep.

[1:51:01] Spuds McKenzie showed up.

[1:51:02] It was just like a movie.

S2

[1:51:05] Stu would still be kicking trees out there.

Stuart Wellington

[1:51:08] Yeah, I'd be kicking every log I found.

Dan McCoy

[1:51:11] He'd be like a video game character.

[1:51:14] Anything that was separate from the background, he was taking a kick to me.

[1:51:19] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:51:20] There's barrels around.

[1:51:21] I am definitely rolling through.

Elliott Kalan

[1:51:24] Similarly, I think I've talked on the podcast before about a time when my family, we went on a trip.

[1:51:30] We were visiting my family in New Jersey.

[1:51:32] But then I had to leave my family with my parents so that I could go work for the weekend in Atlanta on a pilot for a show.

[1:51:38] And while I was away, my family had this big reunion where my sister's family from London was there.

[1:51:45] And my mom and dad, who don't always get along, were on like the best behavior.

[1:51:49] And I missed this amazing family reunion.

[1:51:50] And on the way back from the airport when I was coming back to pick them up, so we go back to L.A., Cats in the Cradle started playing.

[1:51:57] And it was like, two, come on, life.

[1:51:59] This is two on the nose like a scene in a movie.

[1:52:02] You know, that's what we'll be playing while I'm missing out on a great family event.

Dan McCoy

[1:52:06] Oh, you're all looking at me.

[1:52:08] I mean, look, I don't want to get too sappy or too detailed, but because Audrey's on the podcast.

[1:52:15] I mean, like.

[1:52:16] Oh.

[1:52:17] No, I just, like, I just.

[1:52:18] Oh.

[1:52:19] No, the fact that, like.

Elliott Kalan

[1:52:21] Because you're going to talk about a story you don't want her to hear.

[1:52:23] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:52:23] No, no, we, well, you know, we went out.

[1:52:25] Have you ever watched very bad things?

[1:52:28] No, no, no, no.

[1:52:28] Just.

[1:52:29] So anyway, that happened to us.

Dan McCoy

[1:52:30] We went out on a couple of dates and I foolishly was like, not for me, but we were still friends and we became ever closer friends to a point that, like, I just kind of.

[1:52:44] I almost had to do, like, math inside my head to realize that I'd fallen for her because I'm dumb.

[1:52:49] And then by that time she had almost moved on and I had to make a big declaration of love and et cetera.

Stuart Wellington

[1:52:55] I remember you telling me at another person's bachelor party while I was totally fucking hammered about this that you were, in fact, in love with Audrey.

[1:53:05] And I put my head on the bar and my hair caught fire.

[1:53:08] Yeah.

[1:53:08] And I had to.

Dan McCoy

[1:53:11] But did you remember it?

[1:53:12] Did you remember it?

[1:53:13] He should have been slapping his own head.

[1:53:15] Yeah.

[1:53:15] Well, yeah, I remember Stuart was, I was, like, talking to him about it and he's like, oh, that explains why my hair smelled in the shower this morning.

[1:53:22] Yeah.

[1:53:22] He had forgotten that he had set his hair on fire.

[1:53:26] But.

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:26] And Dan, you had to run to the airport to get to her before she flew off to take that other job, right?

Dan McCoy

[1:53:30] Yeah, well, that's what I'm getting at.

[1:53:31] It felt like a much more romantic comedy progression of things than I had ever experienced.

S2

[1:53:37] Yeah, and you should have seen when we were at Cat's Deli, it was a real.

[1:53:41] Uh-huh.

[1:53:42] Yeah, well, like, I'll have what he's had.

[1:53:44] I faked such an orgasm at Cat's Deli.

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:47] Dan faked such an orgasm.

[1:53:49] The place was a mess.

[1:53:50] I was spraying mayonnaise everywhere.

[1:53:55] Yeah, because he had, like, a ketchup bottle full of mayonnaise.

[1:53:59] Super soaker.

[1:54:00] It was a super soaker.

[1:54:02] Super soaker full of mayonnaise.

[1:54:03] He had to buy a custom.

[1:54:05] He came really prepared for that cat's dinner.

[1:54:09] Yeah.

[1:54:09] He was like, look, you need a wider nozzle to get so it doesn't clog with mayonnaise.

[1:54:13] So I had to get this made.

[1:54:15] This mayonnaise super soaker.

[1:54:16] Oh, wow.

Stuart Wellington

[1:54:16] Yours looks like mayonnaise.

[1:54:17] Mine's more like a cottage cheese consistency.

[1:54:19] Oh, no.

Dan McCoy

[1:54:23] Audrey, you had one, though.

S2

[1:54:24] I do have one where, wait, I had many.

[1:54:28] Which one's the least bad?

[1:54:31] That's up to you.

[1:54:32] That's the story of the podcast.

[1:54:34] There was one time where I ran into somebody I did not want to run into.

[1:54:40] It was boy troubles.

[1:54:43] It was a love triangle of sorts.

[1:54:44] Yeah.

[1:54:44] And she messaged me really a lot.

[1:54:50] And it was very traumatic.

[1:54:52] Anyways, I never thought I'd see her in person.

[1:54:53] I just saw her profile picture.

[1:54:55] And then we were in a Sephora, the one in Soho.

[1:54:58] Uh-huh.

[1:54:58] And I saw, like, we could see each other.

[1:55:01] And we spoke to each other.

[1:55:02] And, like, I was, like, saying something like, oh, is that brand good or whatever you say at a Sephora?

[1:55:09] Yeah.

[1:55:10] And she's like, it's you.

[1:55:12] And I said, yeah, it's you, too.

[1:55:15] And we had this conversation.

[1:55:17] And I was dating the guy at the time.

[1:55:20] Uh-huh.

[1:55:20] Not Dan.

[1:55:20] Yeah, the boy was yours.

[1:55:21] And it was really, like, your heart rate goes up.

[1:55:27] And, you know, like, I walked out of there.

[1:55:29] And I was in the strange mood of, like, being very shaken.

[1:55:33] And so I walked down.

[1:55:34] So that's in Soho.

[1:55:36] I walked down to Prince Street in front of the place where there's, like, vendors set up.

[1:55:41] And I'm still shaken.

[1:55:44] Uh-huh.

[1:55:44] And this woman is selling jewelry.

[1:55:46] And she's like, she had a very soft voice.

[1:55:48] And she was like, oh, touch whichever one you want.

[1:55:50] This is before COVID.

[1:55:52] Well, way before COVID, obviously.

[1:55:55] And she's like, each one has a story and a meaning.

[1:55:59] It's like that one that you're touching.

[1:56:00] It attracts the spiral in it.

[1:56:03] It attracts good energy to you.

[1:56:05] I'm like, which one's the one where you want to keep all the bad energy?

[1:56:08] Yeah.

[1:56:08] She's like, I didn't make any of those yet.

[1:56:11] But, you know, that's a good idea.

[1:56:12] Maybe I should.

[1:56:13] And then, boom, a pigeon drops in front of us.

[1:56:17] It just, like, died in front of us.

[1:56:19] And I'm like, oh, my God.

[1:56:21] And we were freaking out because a bird just, like, dropped in front of us.

[1:56:25] I'm like, oh, my God.

[1:56:26] I killed a bird with my bad energy.

[1:56:28] It's like, I can't believe I did this.

[1:56:30] Like, I don't believe in this kind of stuff.

[1:56:32] But, you know, if you're at a heightened point.

[1:56:35] Sure, yeah, yeah.

[1:56:36] And she was calming me down.

[1:56:38] And the person at the next stall was like, it's okay.

[1:56:41] And then put them in a box.

[1:56:42] And then the woman's calming me down.

[1:56:44] It's like, it's fine.

[1:56:44] You know, it's fine.

[1:56:46] It's like, yeah, it's fine.

[1:56:47] It's fine.

[1:56:47] And I calmed down.

[1:56:48] And then the bird flew away.

[1:56:51] What?

[1:56:52] The bird flew away.

[1:56:54] Brought back to life.

[1:56:55] I was like, oh, my God.

Stuart Wellington

[1:56:57] Can our podcast be about this instead?

[1:56:59] I want to talk.

[1:57:00] I just want Audrey to tell us.

[1:57:01] And then I bought, like, $100 worth of jewelry.

[1:57:05] Awesome.

[1:57:06] You had to.

[1:57:07] You had to at that moment.

[1:57:09] Yeah.

[1:57:09] They're like, the bird trick worked.

[1:57:11] We pulled off the bird scan.

[1:57:13] When the bird comes home, they're like, I hope nobody saw me come back.

[1:57:15] Yeah.

[1:57:18] Well.

[1:57:18] The bird shows up for its cut.

[1:57:21] I'm out there fighting for my life.

S2

[1:57:24] It hurts to keep dropping like that.

[1:57:27] You don't understand.

[1:57:29] I need the money.

[1:57:29] I can't do that for much longer.

Elliott Kalan

[1:57:30] The doctor said, I got to stop.

[1:57:32] Wait, wait.

[1:57:32] Just one big score.

[1:57:34] There's another unhappy woman walking down the street.

Dan McCoy

[1:57:37] Well, we can't do better than that.

[1:57:39] So let's move on to our last segment of the show.

[1:57:43] Recommendations.

[1:57:43] This is where we recommend a movie that we saw, that we liked.

[1:57:48] I don't know.

[1:57:49] I fear like, I fear I may have, I don't know.

[1:57:51] Are you going to recommend the French dispatch, Elliot, based on what you said before?

[1:57:55] Because I am going to recommend the French dispatch.

[1:57:57] Let's both do it.

[1:57:58] And I was always.

[1:57:59] Oh, you guys, that's so cute.

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:00] Yeah.

[1:58:00] I was, I was, I was about, I was going to, and I was going to start by saying this is going

[1:58:04] to make some people angry that I'm recommending the French dispatch.

[1:58:06] I love looking at Stuart.

[1:58:08] Yeah.

[1:58:08] Because I know he doesn't like Wes Anderson at all.

S2

[1:58:11] Makes him so mad.

[1:58:11] Why don't you like a beautiful aesthetic?

Stuart Wellington

[1:58:14] I just, I don't connect with his movies emotionally.

[1:58:17] That's it.

[1:58:18] I think that's totally cool.

S2

[1:58:20] But what if all the captions were in like that metal font?

[1:58:23] I changed my mind.

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:25] Because I think his, his, his style is so, at this point has gotten so ridiculously distinctive

[1:58:31] of himself that if you don't like it, don't bother.

[1:58:35] Don't go into it.

[1:58:36] But, but, but at the same time, I'm a big fan of his stuff.

[1:58:39] Not his animation stuff.

[1:58:40] Don't love his animated movies.

Dan McCoy

[1:58:41] That's what I kind of don't understand when people like go out of their way to like bad

[1:58:45] mouth Wes Anderson.

[1:58:46] I'm like, at this late date, do you not know what you're going to get from this movie?

[1:58:50] And it's so easy to avoid.

[1:58:51] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:58:52] It's not like, it's not like, um, you're a big, you're a big comic book fan and you

[1:58:56] feel like you got to go see all the DC movies so you can be in on the conversation.

[1:59:00] Like, just don't go see them.

Stuart Wellington

[1:59:01] You're like, oh man, uh, Spider-Man got pushed out of the IMAX theaters because of the

[1:59:05] French dispatch again.

[1:59:07] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:59:07] Yeah.

[1:59:08] Yeah.

[1:59:08] Exactly.

[1:59:09] Like, I don't get mad at Stuart for not liking it because I can totally see why someone

[1:59:13] would not like it.

[1:59:14] Oh, for sure.

[1:59:15] But he does me the courtesy of not bringing it up all the time.

[1:59:18] Although now he looks, he's got a gleam in his eye like he's going to.

[1:59:22] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:59:22] A little grim.

[1:59:22] I'm in goblin mode.

Elliott Kalan

[1:59:24] But, um.

[1:59:24] But so since we're both recommending it, Dan, you do talk a little bit about it.

[1:59:27] Then if I have anything else to add.

Dan McCoy

[1:59:28] I'll talk very quickly, which is just to say that like, this all being said, there were

[1:59:33] moments early on where I was afraid.

[1:59:35] I'm like, oh, is this going to be like the world's most specific and esoteric sketch comedy

[1:59:40] movie?

[1:59:41] Like, cause it did have that like very wry, like sketch comedy vibe almost.

Elliott Kalan

[1:59:47] The fact that it is a, it's explicitly a movie that is a movie, it's a movie version of a

[1:59:53] fake magazine.

[1:59:54] And that magazine is a copy of the New Yorker.

[1:59:56] So right off that with a little bit of Paris review thrown in.

[1:59:59] So right off the bat, you're like, this is a movie for a very specific audience.

[2:00:03] This is a movie that's reliant on knowledge of a magazine, you know?

Dan McCoy

[2:00:07] Yeah.

[2:00:07] No, but fortunately I am a member of that specific audience.

[2:00:12] Like, you know, it is one of those movies where I'm like, well, I'm glad that someone's

[2:00:16] making this movie because it feels specifically for me in a way that like these, this, it normally

[2:00:24] wouldn't get made.

[2:00:25] Like it is such a specific vision that like, I'm glad to see it.

[2:00:29] And my biggest problem with it, like I would be suggested by the sketch comedy remark is

[2:00:35] that like, I did think like, oh, am I not going to emotionally connect with this one in the

[2:00:40] way that like, you know, Stuart was saying he often finds trouble with it.

[2:00:43] But like, as kind of goofy as all of the stories are in certain ways, I think that the thing

[2:00:52] that the movie does well is that by the end of each segment, you are emotionally engaged.

[2:00:57] There is some sort of catharsis.

[2:00:59] There's some sort of like bigger thing that's being sort of gotten at, even though it is kind

[2:01:07] of beautifully unclear in certain cases, what exactly it is like, but not in a way that feels

[2:01:14] like a mistake in a way that feels like it, it, it, it leaves open possibilities.

[2:01:18] And, and I think that as it goes on each successive story, I found more moving.

[2:01:24] But what were you going to say, Elliot?

Elliott Kalan

[2:01:25] No, no, I agree.

[2:01:26] I think that it's, it's like, it does feel at times like it is a Wes Anderson sketch movie,

[2:01:31] but it also feels in the same way, like you are reading, it's like, um, one of the, a

[2:01:36] book that I love is, uh, Maurice Sendak's nutshell library, which is just four little picture

[2:01:41] books.

[2:01:42] And this feels a little bit like Wes Anderson's version of that, where it's like, here's some

[2:01:45] miniature Wes Anderson movies.

[2:01:46] And they have the strengths of Wes Anderson movies and they have the weaknesses of Wes Anderson

[2:01:50] movies.

[2:01:50] Like he's still every, every story for the most part, except the one of them comes at,

[2:01:56] comes at it from the point of view of a, some sort of like, uh, like artistically sensitive

[2:02:02] man who needs a woman to support him without question, basically in a way that is not always,

[2:02:09] that doesn't always sit well with me.

[2:02:10] But, uh, at the same time, like the, I feel like he's gotten to the point where the, the

[2:02:15] complaint you always see in reviews about him is his movies feel so precisely

[2:02:19] constructed.

[2:02:21] Like, it's like you're looking in a little dollhouse rather than a real world.

[2:02:23] And he has so fully embraced that in this movie where it is at such a high level of aesthetic

[2:02:29] artificiality that I really like a lot to the point where, uh, there are these guys, he

[2:02:34] is, uh, digging into, into real emotions, but in a way that is, uh, like brought it put

[2:02:40] across in this very, like, not, not realistic artificial way that while I was watching, I was

[2:02:45] like, he's basically, he and Guy Madden are converging at certain points, which is

[2:02:49] something I never expected before.

[2:02:51] Um, and so I also just love like, he'll construct an entire room with a ton of weird details

[2:02:58] and like a ton of people doing things and you'll see it on the screen for four seconds.

[2:03:02] And it's like, wow, they put a lot, they put a lot of work into every single moment of this

[2:03:06] movie.

[2:03:06] Uh, and it's, it, at the same time, it's also a movie that is not afraid to get silly enough

[2:03:11] that there's a police chase that involves like a strong man dressed like a circus strongman,

[2:03:16] whose entire job seems to be to cling to the hood of a car and then, and not let go for

[2:03:21] the, for the entirety of a car chase.

[2:03:23] So I, I really enjoyed it, but it's like, you're watching like the apotheosis of Wes Anderson.

[2:03:28] It's like, it doesn't get more Wes Anderson than this.

[2:03:30] Audrey, what did you want to say about it?

S2

[2:03:32] Did you, do you think that it would be seen as more successful if it was given a Buster

[2:03:37] Scruggs treatment where it's a Netflix thing where it's meant to be short stories?

Elliott Kalan

[2:03:46] I don't know.

[2:03:47] Cause it's very explicitly like you're looking at a movie version of a magazine and it's

[2:03:50] this story and then this one.

[2:03:51] I think that it's, I think there's a, Wes Anderson has just reached a point with his

[2:03:56] way of doing things that you either like it or you don't like it, you know?

[2:03:59] And I think if you wanted to get someone into Wes Anderson movies, this would be the last

[2:04:02] one to show them because, because it's like, do you want to see it?

[2:04:06] It was like, and he's, he's still, he's not a young man, but he's youngish to be doing

[2:04:10] this.

[2:04:11] They're like, it felt like there are a lot, there's a tradition of directors getting to

[2:04:15] a point where they start doing kind of omnibus films where you have like, um, Fellini

[2:04:20] doing Roma or Akira Kurosawa doing Dreams where it's like, I'm going to explore my interests

[2:04:26] and my style in ways that doing one story in a movie can't really afford me.

[2:04:32] I'm going to take as many opportunities as I can.

[2:04:33] And this is him doing that where it's like, yeah, I don't, I'm going to do like a bunch

[2:04:37] of different little things and they're each going to be in a, in my style, but I'm going

[2:04:40] to be doing different things with that style and I'm going to let it just go out as far

[2:04:44] as I can go with it.

[2:04:45] And I, and, uh, uh, we watched it at home with like, uh, with dread because I kept,

[2:04:49] people kept telling me this is the movie where Wes Anderson, where no one said no to

[2:04:53] him and it went to, and he just didn't know what to do.

[2:04:56] And the whole time watching, I'm like, I'm really enjoying this.

[2:04:57] Am I wrong for enjoying this?

[2:04:59] That I'm like, that I'm like really enjoying it.

Stuart Wellington

[2:05:01] You know?

[2:05:01] I thought you meant that you did it as like a double feature with the movie dread.

[2:05:05] And I'm like, that's badass.

[2:05:05] I thought he was watching it with Judge Dredd.

[2:05:07] Yeah, I know.

Elliott Kalan

[2:05:08] We watched it with dread because I was like, but the thing is, which one do I watch first?

[2:05:12] Which, which is the proper setup for the other one?

[2:05:14] No.

[2:05:15] Yeah.

[2:05:15] And because also like we were watching dread in 3d and West French dispatch is not in

[2:05:20] 3d, but, but, uh, the, the also, uh, I don't know.

[2:05:25] I, I really, I really liked it, but it was me seeing an artist.

[2:05:27] I like exploring what he's doing, pushing what he's doing as far as he can go.

[2:05:32] And there are a number of really silly jokes in it.

Stuart Wellington

[2:05:34] So, uh, Audrey, why don't you go next?

S2

[2:05:36] Um, the movie I'm recommending is, uh, an Italian movie based on a true story, um, based on

[2:05:46] a novel of a true story.

[2:05:48] And it is Italy in the 1970s.

Elliott Kalan

[2:05:52] Hold on a second.

[2:05:53] That Dan's alarm just went off while Audrey was speaking.

[2:05:56] Dan, that is the height of, of male aggression.

Dan McCoy

[2:06:01] Terrible.

[2:06:02] It's to remind me to take a pill.

Elliott Kalan

[2:06:05] You're like, I needed a reminder to interrupt Audrey.

[2:06:08] This is my interesting.

[2:06:08] We were going to go this long.

S2

[2:06:11] Uh, anyway.

[2:06:12] He timed it so perfectly.

[2:06:13] Yeah.

[2:06:14] Um, it's called, I'm not scared.

[2:06:18] And it's about, um, children playing in rural Italy.

[2:06:25] And they find one of them finds that there's another child hidden away that I guess the

[2:06:30] parents kidnapped.

[2:06:31] And, uh, it's a, it's a pretty dark story, but it's told through the eyes of the kids.

[2:06:37] And so there's a little bit of that wonder in it.

[2:06:42] And it's, it's a pretty good story.

[2:06:44] And it's just, um, a different way to, you know, see the tumultuous times of 1970 Italy,

[2:06:51] where there is a lot of kidnappings.

[2:06:53] I think that's when, uh, the Getty son was kidnapped.

[2:06:57] Do you guys know that?

[2:06:58] When Balthazar Getty?

Elliott Kalan

[2:07:00] I know that Ridley Scott also did a movie about that, but I don't, I don't know the details

[2:07:03] of the story.

S2

[2:07:04] But yeah, so it's, it's that time period.

[2:07:06] And so it's about the kidnapping of this kid and another kid finding him about their friendship

[2:07:11] and how that goes.

Elliott Kalan

[2:07:12] It's a movie that, that's a movie that has super dark subject matter, but yeah, they managed

[2:07:16] to make it not, not bleak.

[2:07:18] Like it doesn't feel like a bleak, depressing movie and they, and they really pull off that

[2:07:22] kid point of view.

S2

[2:07:23] Yeah.

[2:07:23] It, it reminds me of, uh, the devil's backbone, like that same sense of wonder as a child, but

[2:07:30] also there's dark things happening around them.

Elliott Kalan

[2:07:32] Yeah.

[2:07:33] It's like devil's backbone or spirit of the beehive or like, uh, there's an old French

[2:07:37] movie called forbidden games where it's like kids, kids dealing with darkness and seeing

[2:07:42] it through their, through their eyes in a way that like imbues it with like

[2:07:46] poetry in a way.

[2:07:47] Yeah.

[2:07:48] That's a good movie.

[2:07:49] I'm not scared.

Stuart Wellington

[2:07:51] Uh, okay.

[2:07:52] Well, I'm good.

Elliott Kalan

[2:07:52] Recommendation.

[2:07:53] That's a better recommendation than Dan and my recommendation.

Stuart Wellington

[2:07:56] Uh, yeah, I've been watching a lot of movies cause it's kind of award season.

[2:07:59] So I'm trying to catch up on shit, uh, that people are talking about.

[2:08:02] And, uh, I guess I will today I'll recommend, uh, a movie that's on, it was, it went straight

[2:08:09] to Netflix.

[2:08:10] Well, no, I guess not straight to Netflix.

[2:08:11] It stopped in theaters first.

[2:08:12] I'm going to recommend power of the dog.

[2:08:15] That's right.

[2:08:15] P of the D.

[2:08:17] Uh, it's great.

[2:08:19] Uh, can I do, wait, can I do, can I do my, uh, P of the dick, right?

Elliott Kalan

[2:08:23] D of the D.

[2:08:25] What?

[2:08:26] Can I do the audio version of a joke I tweeted yesterday before we go to this?

Stuart Wellington

[2:08:30] Which was Huey Lewis, Huey Lewis reviewing it and going, the power of the dog is a curious

[2:08:34] thing.

[2:08:35] In a lot of ways it is.

[2:08:37] And it's directed by the champion, Jane Campion.

[2:08:40] Or should I call her?

[2:08:42] I love it.

[2:08:43] Because she's a little devilish with the twist.

Elliott Kalan

[2:08:45] I love that you are, I love that you're becoming Jean Chalot.

Stuart Wellington

[2:08:49] Is that you should do all your recommendations?

[2:08:52] Uh, Benedict Cumberbatch is a cumbersnack in this amazing performance.

[2:08:58] Not as successful, but still a good try.

[2:09:00] I'm trying, I don't give a shit.

[2:09:00] Yeah.

[2:09:01] Working hard.

[2:09:01] So what I'm going to say is, uh, this is a great little movie, uh, directed by Jane

[2:09:08] Campion, uh, with, where Benedict Cumberbatch and Jesse Plemons play a couple of brothers

[2:09:13] who run a ranch in ye olden cowboy times.

[2:09:17] And they are a.

[2:09:19] They wouldn't say that.

[2:09:23] Benedict Cumberbatch is a real asshole and Jesse Plemons is like a lovely little wallflower.

[2:09:29] That's the guy from Breaking Bad, right?

[2:09:30] That is the guy from Breaking Bad.

[2:09:32] And of course, Friday Night Lights.

[2:09:34] Um, and, uh, his real life wife, uh, Kirsten Dunst is in the movie.

[2:09:40] Uh, Kirsten Dunst, star of movies forever and is great.

[2:09:43] Uh, and when she got her Hollywood Walk of Fame star, I think I saw a news story describe

[2:09:49] her as Spider-Man's Kirsten Dunst.

[2:09:51] And I'm like, fuck you.

[2:09:52] Take her name out your mouth, dude.

[2:09:54] She's been in so much shit.

[2:09:55] Don't just say Spider-Man.

[2:09:57] Um, but she is.

Elliott Kalan

[2:09:58] Did they make, did they meet on the set of Fargo?

[2:10:00] Or did they know each other before then?

[2:10:02] I think they met on the set of Fargo.

[2:10:04] Oh, that's sweet.

[2:10:05] Um, and.

[2:10:06] I mean, I think he murders her in that.

[2:10:07] No, no.

[2:10:08] It doesn't.

[2:10:08] No, they're husband and wife in that.

[2:10:10] Yeah.

[2:10:11] But he, I think he has.

Stuart Wellington

[2:10:12] Oh, I don't want to spoil it.

S2

[2:10:13] You and McGregor and, um, Mary, what's her name?

[2:10:17] Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

[2:10:18] They also met on the set of Fargo.

[2:10:19] That's a real, uh, that's a real love mess.

[2:10:21] That's a magic maker show.

[2:10:23] Yeah.

[2:10:24] If you want to find a partner, you go and you work for Fargo and you find your spouse.

[2:10:29] Yeah.

[2:10:29] That's the way the, that's why.

Stuart Wellington

[2:10:30] David Thewlis has already been on.

Elliott Kalan

[2:10:33] That's why they sing that song.

[2:10:34] Noah Hawley, Noah Hawley, make me a match.

[2:10:37] Find me a find.

Stuart Wellington

[2:10:38] Noah Hawley.

[2:10:39] Um, so it is a, uh, it is a tight, uh, thriller.

[2:10:45] It is shot beautifully.

[2:10:47] It has a Johnny Greenwood score.

[2:10:48] So, you know, you're going to be jamming that shit.

[2:10:51] Uh, Benedict Cumberbatch gives a great performance.

[2:10:55] His accent is an American character is, come on, questionable.

[2:10:59] It's Benedict Cumberbatch.

[2:11:00] You can't expect him to do an amazing American accent.

[2:11:02] It's like expecting Al Pacino to do a normal voice.

[2:11:06] Um, and it's got some twists and turns.

[2:11:09] And it's just fucking great, man.

[2:11:11] Uh, I totally recommend it.

[2:11:13] Power of the dog.

[2:11:14] Or when you go to your grocery store, just ask for, that's right.

[2:11:19] P of the D.

Elliott Kalan

[2:11:20] Wait, so why are they buying a movie at the grocery store?

Stuart Wellington

[2:11:23] You never did that from like the bargain bin where you just.

Elliott Kalan

[2:11:25] Or is there a rental at the corner?

[2:11:27] Like some stores have a rental.

[2:11:29] Usually I wouldn't, usually I didn't have to ask the clerk for a specific movie.

[2:11:32] I just see what was available, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[2:11:34] Dude, I don't give you shit for saying make my maniac in New York.

[2:11:38] Okay, fair.

[2:11:40] Actually, I do.

[2:11:41] I mean, before people come to me, I do give you shit for that.

[2:11:44] Um, so for the dog, it's great.

[2:11:46] You should check it out.

[2:11:47] Okay.

[2:11:47] Yum, yum, yum.

[2:11:48] It's going to win awards.

[2:11:49] Well.

Dan McCoy

[2:11:51] Audrey, thank you for being our guest.

[2:11:53] I know it was probably hard for you to get here in all the snow.

[2:11:56] So thanks.

[2:11:58] Yeah, thank you.

S2

[2:11:59] I didn't have to.

[2:12:00] Uh, sure.

[2:12:01] I have to.

[2:12:02] Um, neuter your pets, right?

[2:12:05] That's what.

Dan McCoy

[2:12:06] Sure.

[2:12:07] You're plugging that?

[2:12:07] Yeah.

S2

[2:12:08] Sure.

[2:12:08] I read a good book lately.

[2:12:10] It's called Good Neighbors.

[2:12:11] You should read that.

Dan McCoy

[2:12:12] Hey, you know who Good Neighbors is written by?

[2:12:15] Sarah Langen, who's JT Petty's wife.

[2:12:18] Okay.

[2:12:20] I thought that that would mean something to you.

Elliott Kalan

[2:12:22] No, I mean, I like him a lot.

[2:12:23] He's a great guy and I like his movies.

[2:12:24] Yeah.

[2:12:25] Anyway.

[2:12:25] Great book.

[2:12:27] Um.

[2:12:28] But it's not like, I don't know what the, if you were looking for like a big, like viral

[2:12:32] moment where I'm like, what?

[2:12:33] What?

[2:12:34] Then I apologize.

[2:12:35] Uh-huh.

[2:12:36] Sorry.

Stuart Wellington

[2:12:36] Well, wait, Elliot, run into the other room and tell your kids and watch them lose their

[2:12:40] mind.

[2:12:40] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[2:12:41] Yeah, they're going to love it.

[2:12:42] Well, that's like, it reminds me of a, so there's a video of a kid, these kids watching

[2:12:46] Empire Strikes Back and they find, and he says, Luke, I'm your father.

[2:12:49] And the kids have this big reaction.

[2:12:50] And I was like, that'll happen when we watch it.

[2:12:52] And I watched it with, with Sammy and he goes, Luke, I am your father.

[2:12:56] And Sammy turns to me and goes, is that true?

[2:12:57] And I go, yeah.

[2:12:58] And he goes, okay.

[2:12:59] And I was like, that was it.

[2:13:01] Really processed that information quickly.

[2:13:03] Yeah.

[2:13:04] Yeah.

[2:13:04] I mean, good for him.

[2:13:05] I mean, it's good that he fact-checked it though.

[2:13:07] That's true.

[2:13:07] He did.

[2:13:08] He did fact-check it.

[2:13:08] He knows Darth Vader's a bad guy and maybe a liar.

[2:13:11] So, you know.

S2

[2:13:11] I mean, kids nowadays are more accepting of what a family looks like that's not traditional.

[2:13:15] So, that's really good.

Elliott Kalan

[2:13:17] Yeah.

[2:13:17] That's really cool.

[2:13:17] That's very fair.

[2:13:18] He's like lots of my friends at school.

[2:13:20] They, they, they were raised by their uncle and aunt.

[2:13:22] Their dad's an evil cyborg.

[2:13:23] They don't know their mom.

[2:13:24] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[2:13:25] He's like, oh, that's, that's true.

[2:13:26] Well, okay.

[2:13:27] That must be tough for Luke, but we'll see where it goes.

[2:13:31] We'll see.

Elliott Kalan

[2:13:32] Maybe he'll just take, maybe he'll take that disappointment and make him stronger, like

[2:13:36] in Great Expectations.

[2:13:36] And I'm like, that's not exactly what happens at Great Expectations.

[2:13:39] But anyway.

Dan McCoy

[2:13:40] Well, anyway.

[2:13:42] Thank you for listening, listeners.

[2:13:45] Why don't you head on over to MaximumFun.org.

[2:13:49] If you like podcasts, there's many more on the network that we are on, which is called Maximum Fun.

[2:13:55] And you can see what they have over there that you might like.

[2:14:00] And thank you to Alex Smith, who is our producer.

Stuart Wellington

[2:14:04] Mm-hmm.

[2:14:05] A big fan of French Dispatch as well.

[2:14:06] So I'm sure he'll, he'll like put some cool sound effects underneath your, your recommendation.

Dan McCoy

[2:14:12] Like, oui, oui.

Stuart Wellington

[2:14:13] Ooh, wow.

[2:14:14] And like, audience cheering.

Dan McCoy

[2:14:16] Lots of applause.

[2:14:17] Yeah.

[2:14:18] Yeah.

[2:14:18] But, you know, what a treat to do this movie with all of you.

[2:14:23] Yeah, this is a blast.

[2:14:24] For the Flophouse, I have been Dan McCoy.

[2:14:27] And I have been Stuart Wellington.

S2

[2:14:30] And I've been Elliot Kalin.

[2:14:32] And for this time being, I'm Audrey Lazaro.

Elliott Kalan

[2:14:36] Bye.

[2:14:39] I like, Audrey, that you left the door open to become something else someday.

[2:14:43] Did you guys know that the founder of Gucci was named Guccio Gucci?

[2:14:50] I did say that.

[2:14:51] Wait, you're kidding, right?

[2:14:53] His first name was Guccio.

[2:14:55] And there's a lot of Italian names in between.

[2:14:56] And his last name was Gucci.

[2:14:57] And I'm like, what a country.

[2:14:59] I love it.

Dan McCoy

[2:15:00] Because Guccio Gucci sounds like an Irish Italian man.

Elliott Kalan

[2:15:03] Yeah, yeah.

[2:15:04] That's, yeah.

[2:15:04] Guccio Gucci.

[2:15:07] MaximumFun.org.

S7

[2:15:09] Comedy and culture.

[2:15:11] Artist owned.

[2:15:12] Audience supported.

Ep. #360 - House of Gucci, with Audrey Lazaro

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