Ep. #360 - House of Gucci, with Audrey Lazaro

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss House of Gucci.

[0:03] No, Dan, you mispronounced it. The title is...

[0:05] House of Gucci!

[0:31] Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:36] No! Hey there, Dan. It's me, Stuart Wellington.

[0:40] I'm Elliot Kalin, and I'm wondering why Stuart was so upset by Dan naming himself.

[0:45] Sorry, I was buffering there, guys.

[0:47] Oh, okay.

[0:48] Okay. Knock, knock, guys.

[0:50] Knock, knock, beep, beep.

[0:52] Who's got the keys to the Jeep?

[0:54] Who's joining us today, Daniel?

[0:56] It's our guest, Audrey Lazaro.

[0:58] How would Flophouse listeners know you best?

[1:02] Um...

[1:04] By Dan's constant mentions of my brilliant insight to bad movies.

[1:09] Sure.

[1:10] You are the person who I feel like the Flophouse audience at large

[1:14] was first cued into, or clued into, I guess,

[1:17] by when Dan would be like,

[1:19] so I watched this movie with a friend,

[1:21] and we're like, oh, no pronouns.

[1:25] We don't know who this person could be.

[1:27] It was you! You were the friend!

[1:29] That was me.

[1:30] And now you're here with us.

[1:31] You're a friend.

[1:32] You've accepted us.

[1:33] My plan has worked.

[1:34] And now you've been promoted from friend to wife,

[1:37] and then promoted from wife to podcast co-host.

[1:39] Yeah.

[1:40] That's how it goes.

[1:41] Your long time, your grift has come to pass.

[1:43] Well, I have to say, it's been my dream

[1:45] to work with my favorite podcaster, Elliot Kalin.

[1:49] My favorite.

[1:50] Aw, thank you, Audrey.

[1:51] I'm looking forward to it, too.

[1:52] How quickly that dream will become a nightmare in moments.

[1:55] It's a real monkey's paw situation.

[1:57] It's easy to love them from the outside.

[2:00] Oh, it's so much harder to love me from the inside.

[2:03] Ask the bacteria in my body.

[2:05] They do not like it.

[2:06] Some of them help you out, you know, with digestion and such.

[2:09] Begrudgingly, begrudgingly.

[2:10] They're like, all right, for just this once,

[2:13] we'll create an alliance, you and me.

[2:16] Okay, so, yeah, Audrey married me in November.

[2:23] Yeah, but there's more to her than that, Dan.

[2:26] I'm a whole person, everybody.

[2:29] I have hopes and dreams.

[2:31] You're a main character.

[2:32] Dan is the supporting character.

[2:34] No, that's fine.

[2:35] I'm just, you know, if you're listening to this podcast

[2:38] and you're wondering the chain of events that led us here,

[2:42] one of the links is our wedding.

[2:46] No, but it's very much, she's the Jean Gradier Cyclops, Dan.

[2:49] She's the hero of the story,

[2:50] and it turns out you're just the supporting character, yeah.

[2:52] And so who would that make you?

[2:54] Yeah, I'm Nightcrawler or Beast.

[2:56] Everyone knows it.

[2:57] Maybe I'm one character made up of the two of them, Nightbeast.

[2:59] And Stuart is, of course, Callisto, leader of the Morlocks.

[3:03] Oh, yeah, I am.

[3:04] Oh, man, Callisto rules.

[3:05] Yeah, she's awesome.

[3:06] Hey, how did you guys know I was always Jean Grey

[3:08] when we would play X-Men when we were kids?

[3:10] Just context clues.

[3:11] Well, I'm done adjusting everyone's microphones slightly,

[3:14] so let's get into the movie.

[3:15] What are we doing on this podcast, Dan?

[3:16] Oh, sorry, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie

[3:18] and then we talk about it.

[3:19] And let's be clear from the top.

[3:21] I would say that House of Gucci got mixed reviews.

[3:25] I think this is right on the edge of something we might cover on the show.

[3:28] On the edge of glory?

[3:29] I think it was.

[3:30] I mean, the fact that we're covering on the show

[3:32] means it's squarely something we're covering on the show.

[3:34] No, that's true.

[3:35] That's true.

[3:36] You got him, Elliot.

[3:37] Boom.

[3:38] By definition.

[3:39] Take him away, officer.

[3:40] I just want to say that we didn't walk into this one

[3:44] necessarily assuming the worst, as sometimes we might,

[3:48] even though I do think that we try and have an open mind

[3:51] about all of the movies we watch.

[3:53] We don't want to just be jerks about it.

[3:54] I mean, hell, this is a movie that will most likely get nominated

[3:57] for some kind of awards.

[3:59] Certainly for acting and makeup awards, it'll be nominated.

[4:03] But, you know, it has had some detractors.

[4:07] We'll see whether we agree with it.

[4:09] But also, you know, during the pandemic, it was, you know,

[4:12] it's easy for things to be technically flops at this particular time.

[4:17] I mean, actually, it's already made much more than its budget.

[4:20] It's technically a box office success.

[4:22] Okay.

[4:23] Well, maybe it's just that we wanted to watch something

[4:25] that we might enjoy for once.

[4:26] Yeah.

[4:27] I mean, when it comes down to it, listeners,

[4:29] if you are mad that we decided to watch a movie that we thought

[4:32] ahead of time might not be bad, then I'm sorry.

[4:35] If we're not combining ourselves to the narrow purview that you've come

[4:39] to expect and assume and demand from us, we need pleasure in our lives too.

[4:43] Times are really rough.

[4:45] Everyone deserves joy.

[4:46] Yeah.

[4:47] Yeah, exactly.

[4:48] Thank you.

[4:49] Or not.

[4:50] We'll see.

[4:51] No spoilers.

[4:52] In this episode of The Flop House, Dan, let's start the show.

[4:55] Okay.

[4:56] So this is a movie called House of Gucci.

[4:59] It's about the Gucci fashion family, a particular chapter of their lives.

[5:06] Should we do a quick warning that we're probably going to do

[5:08] a bunch of bad accents?

[5:10] Yes.

[5:11] I mean, so, yeah, so anyone listening to this episode.

[5:15] The House of Gucci makes the strange, interesting choice that even though

[5:19] the actors are all speaking in English, because they are Italian characters,

[5:22] they will speak with Italian accents.

[5:24] It was varying degrees of cartoonishness, going from Jeremy Irons,

[5:28] who speaks with an English accent tinged with Italian,

[5:30] to Jared Leto, who speaks as Chico Markswood in his scenes.

[5:34] Now you say that, but there have been several articles out there saying

[5:37] that Jared Leto is actually the one who does it the best,

[5:40] as comical as his character is.

[5:43] But he does, we'll get to it, there's one part where there's a joke

[5:46] that comes up a couple times that's based on a mispronunciation,

[5:49] which does not make sense if they're supposed to be speaking Italian,

[5:52] that he refers to a mouse as a moose a couple times,

[5:56] which is a Chico type joke.

[5:58] And if they're speaking Italian, why would he get those words mixed up?

[6:01] That joke only makes sense if they're speaking English with an Italian accent.

[6:04] I don't know the Italian words for mouse and moose.

[6:06] Maybe they also sound similar, but I don't know.

[6:09] That's a separate issue.

[6:11] As you say, the weird trick that movies try to pull once in a while,

[6:15] where it's just like, maybe they'll think we're speaking this language

[6:18] if we speak with an accent of that language.

[6:21] That someone who's playing a Russian character, if they're not Sean Connery,

[6:24] will speak with a Russian accent even though they're speaking English.

[6:27] Or how everyone in ancient Rome has an English accent.

[6:30] It's just the way we do movies here in the U.S. of A,

[6:33] because not everyone can have our beautiful American accents.

[6:36] Do you think it's better if there's no accents at all,

[6:38] or do you think it's better when like a Death of Stalin situation

[6:43] where everyone just is like, buckwild, let's do whatever we want?

[6:46] What do you guys think? What do you say, Stu?

[6:49] I feel like a consistency is key.

[6:51] I feel like House of Gucci kind of like that's highlighted here

[6:55] because Lady Gaga's accent is a little bit – it feels a little bit –

[6:59] A little bit Eastern European.

[7:00] Yeah, a little bit kind of Dracula, but she's very consistent with it.

[7:03] Just like Jared Leto is a lot like the Azzamata bit from –

[7:07] what is it? The Looney Tunes cartoon.

[7:10] Yeah.

[7:11] I mean, Jared Leto is playing the guy on the box from the pizza store.

[7:15] He might as well have his fingers in an OK symbol,

[7:19] kissing his own fingers going, ooh, that's a nice, that's a nice.

[7:23] It's funny you say that, Stuart, because that is what I said to Audrey

[7:26] when we were talking about accents.

[7:28] The thing that bothers me the most, when I think something's a bad accent,

[7:31] it's when like an actor seems just at sea and just like keeps shifting it

[7:35] within the scene.

[7:36] Like what matters to me most is consistency of accent,

[7:39] and everyone on this movie is doing totally different things,

[7:42] but they're all internally consistent to themselves.

[7:44] Yeah.

[7:45] So I was reading something about what Lady Gaga's process was,

[7:50] and she really spoke in this accent for months and months and months.

[7:54] For nine straight months she only spoke with this accent.

[7:57] Yeah, and she also will change dialect.

[8:00] So she starts off with a dialect where she is supposed to be from in the movie,

[8:04] and depending on who she's talking to and depending on what the situation is

[8:09] and where the time of her life she's at, she will change the accent and inflections.

[8:15] So there's a lot of thought that goes into it,

[8:18] but people who are Italian speakers who study the language still think it's not that great.

[8:25] But it's really thoughtful.

[8:27] Well, that strikes me as a performer putting too much thought into it.

[8:31] They're thinking how would their voice really change

[8:34] because the character she's playing, which we'll get into,

[8:36] is very much a chameleon who wants to seem different ways to different people.

[8:39] But to the audience at home who is only going to experience this character

[8:42] for about two and a half hours and all at once

[8:45] and who probably doesn't know that much about Italian dialects,

[8:49] I certainly don't, it comes off as her being somewhat inconsistent.

[8:52] Ironically, I don't know if you guys felt this way,

[8:54] the person I thought had the least consistent accent was Al Pacino,

[8:57] a man who has made movies where he's shot scenes in Italy before,

[9:00] who is an Italian-American who spoke Italian in a movie.

[9:04] And he's the one where it seemed like at certain points he was supposed to be like,

[9:07] oh, yeah, yeah, I'm not playing Jimmy Hoffa, I'm playing an Italian character.

[9:10] Yeah, I think it's really hard when you're like Italian-American

[9:13] is very different from like an Italian-person accent.

[9:16] Oh, I just remembered his Jimmy Hoffa accent,

[9:20] which was like in and out of Chicago.

[9:23] It's wild.

[9:25] Well, there will be more accent talk, we promise, but let's get into the movie.

[9:29] But that was all because of the warning that we'll probably be doing

[9:33] fairly insulting Italian accents at some point during this or cartoonish, let's say.

[9:38] They're done with love for the Italian people and their great culture

[9:41] and all the wonderful things they've brought.

[9:43] My travel dream is I want to go with my family to Italy

[9:46] and drive south through the entire country.

[9:50] I don't think there's anything else in the world I want to do more than that.

[9:53] So anytime I make a pizza voice, I'll learn.

[9:57] I'll learn for that trip.

[9:59] No, he's driving a car.

[10:00] I'm sure they'll all know we're going to use a stick like a broomstick.

[10:02] We're going to be playing Quidditch all the way down.

[10:05] I'm sure they'll all forgive you, Elliot, knowing that you so desperately

[10:09] want to be a tourist in their country.

[10:12] Anyway, speaking of Dan, wow.

[10:15] Speaking of voices, the movie begins with a voiceover from Lady Gaga

[10:20] as we hear about how coveted Gucci is, like what a revered name it is.

[10:25] And Adam Driver is drinking coffee and riding a bicycle

[10:29] and doing all sorts of Italian things.

[10:31] And it's not just any coffee.

[10:33] It's a tiny little Italian coffee where they always show

[10:36] they show him sitting there for a while and then he takes a sip out of that cup.

[10:39] And I'm like, how many sips could you really be taken out of that little cup?

[10:41] Like, come on. Yeah.

[10:42] And there's there's two weird moments in this where she she's like,

[10:47] you will save all your life just so you can have enough money

[10:50] so you can afford the second cheapest thing in a Gucci store.

[10:53] Newsflash, you won't.

[10:55] And I'm like, you don't know me.

[10:57] And then also this is one of those fucking movies

[10:59] where they start at the end, right?

[11:01] Like, yeah, this is the moments before he's like, I'm going to live forever.

[11:06] And then a dude comes and smokes him.

[11:07] Spoiler alert. So I yeah, so oh my God.

[11:11] So like, I don't know about you guys, but I'm very tired of this.

[11:14] Unless it really matters.

[11:15] What do you what is what's happening?

[11:17] I had no idea.

[11:18] In my notes, I have it at the end.

[11:20] It's like, oh, he's riding a bike again.

[11:23] And in my notes, I have after this scene, light sepia filter

[11:27] to show us that this is in the past, but I didn't connect.

[11:30] Yeah, yeah, that was the same time.

[11:33] Yeah, the scene ends with the guy being like Senior Gucci

[11:35] and he's about to pull out his his silenced pistola.

[11:38] Well, yeah, it's a really it's a really weird way they do it.

[11:41] Because you're right, Stuart.

[11:41] This is something that we've seen a lot now where it's like,

[11:44] we're going to start at the end.

[11:45] Then it's like, hey, you're probably wondering how me,

[11:47] the heir to the Gucci fortune got got got assassinated.

[11:51] Well, let me tell you, it's a weird story.

[11:52] But I didn't know the Gucci story beforehand, so I didn't.

[11:56] I knew something bad was about to happen, because otherwise, why show this?

[11:59] But it feels strange to not show, not show what's going to happen to him

[12:04] so that you get that because if you don't have the story, then you're like,

[12:07] oh, I guess somebody is about to interrupt him.

[12:09] Well, I mean, I say someone calls his name presumably the hitman.

[12:14] But yeah, but my knowledge of it comes from, you know, knowing that this.

[12:18] You do that when it's at the height of action.

[12:21] So like it would make more sense if you see Gucci as a brand

[12:26] and you see how famous everyone is and like how successful it is.

[12:30] And then you drop, you know, the murder and then you rewind.

[12:35] But yes, just shows us a guy on a bike who just had a coffee.

[12:38] Yeah, it's kind of like hanging out.

[12:40] And that's the thing that's that gets to my I think maybe my biggest issue

[12:45] with the movie is that it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's

[12:48] a movie and I'll this is a movie that I liked a lot of but didn't like all of,

[12:52] which is that I'm not a fashionista.

[12:54] I know the name Gucci, but I don't know much about it.

[12:56] Yeah, I know. I know what you're saying.

[12:58] But I'm more of a I guess I'm more of a Sandinista,

[13:02] but which is someone who loves sand or just no, I love I love sand

[13:06] because it gets everywhere and it's very rough.

[13:08] But the that I the I don't I needed a primer at the beginning that was kind of

[13:13] and I didn't want them to do like a Star Wars letter word crawl.

[13:15] But I don't really know where Gucci fits in the fashion world.

[13:18] And for the first hour and 20 minutes, this movie, it's just kind of taken

[13:22] for granted that, you know, what Gucci is, why it's desirable.

[13:25] And so when they're arguing, they're like, this is Gucci.

[13:27] This isn't just this isn't Versace. It's Gucci.

[13:29] I was like, I don't know. I don't know what.

[13:31] So I wish that there was some scene in the beginning that kind of set up

[13:34] because there's a line later on where Adam Driver goes, Versace,

[13:38] it's like you're at a at a Hollywood premiere and this other one's like this.

[13:40] Gucci, it's the Vatican of fashion.

[13:42] And I was like, I wish someone had said this in the first seven minutes of the movie

[13:45] because I would have understood what like kind of why people felt this.

[13:49] Well, I think this movie kind of in some ways wants to be a Martin Scorsese movie.

[13:54] And he like toyed with doing it at one point, the script.

[13:59] And I think that a Scorsese version of this, he teased with doing it.

[14:02] He was like, maybe maybe I just know I won't do a Marvel movie.

[14:08] But you know what? Maybe I'll maybe I'll do Shutter Island instead.

[14:11] There were a lot of I'll do you.

[14:14] I'll do you have some Gucci. Oh, just kidding.

[14:16] I'll make silence.

[14:16] Oh, it's me.

[14:18] But it's amazing what a prankster.

[14:20] It's like, sorry, Martin, there's not enough Rolling Stone songs

[14:23] that are blended with Italian opera songs.

[14:26] So you can't do this movie.

[14:27] I mean, it makes more sense.

[14:29] Let me close this movie.

[14:31] Wait, wait, wait.

[14:32] OK, well, yeah, we'll talk about the needle later.

[14:35] The Scorsese version of this movie would have what you want.

[14:38] Like, I guess it would have focused on like a lot of process and history.

[14:42] And then like, yeah, what would the Wong Kar-Wai version be?

[14:46] Because he was also up to direct this movie around 2016.

[14:50] The one. Well, and that would be beautiful.

[14:53] The Wong Kar-Wai movie version of this movie would have had another thing.

[14:56] This movie is missing, which is that this movie, as we'll get into it, is very cold.

[14:59] It's a Ridley Scott movie.

[15:01] And this movie should have been warm and hot.

[15:03] It should have been.

[15:04] Yeah, it should have been.

[15:05] It just should be a passionate movie.

[15:07] But since it's Ridley Scott, it's a very cold movie.

[15:09] And like when I was watching it, I was like, I wish Almodovar had made this movie.

[15:13] Like, I wish it like.

[15:14] And then the performers are trying to get it to that level.

[15:17] But but Ridley Scott is such a such a cool guy.

[15:20] What works in Alien or like, I don't know, Matchstick Man, you know, isn't

[15:24] isn't quite right for this.

[15:25] But anyway, also, but someone mentioned the music.

[15:28] We'll get to the needle drops later because there's some this one is.

[15:31] Oh, boy. Some some totally work for me.

[15:34] Yeah, no, I wrote. Yes, I was.

[15:36] OK, anyway. Yeah.

[15:37] So we flashback in time to I think I think the 70s.

[15:40] I didn't get the year 1978 Milan, it says on the title on the screen.

[15:45] And Lady Gaga is being ogled by construction workers

[15:49] as she goes to her job as her dad's secretary.

[15:52] She should really park closer to the trailer

[15:54] because she parks like three blocks down and walks across.

[15:59] She wants, you know, I'm and I assume we don't want this.

[16:02] But Lady Gaga seems to really enjoy these catcalls.

[16:04] That's what the movie is trying to say.

[16:07] Yeah. Yeah.

[16:07] This character, pretty, pretty.

[16:09] Patrizio Reggiano, right?

[16:11] Yeah. Yeah.

[16:12] Call her Lady Gaga.

[16:14] And I'll probably call.

[16:15] What's his name? Maurizio.

[16:17] Maurizio Gucci.

[16:18] I'll call him Adam Driver for the most part.

[16:20] You know how it goes in this podcast.

[16:22] Anyway, she gets a call to go out that night.

[16:25] She's in a club.

[16:26] We're on the radio by Donna Summer's playing

[16:29] and Adam Driver's behind the bar.

[16:31] Lady Gaga tries to order a drink from him and he's like,

[16:34] I'm not a bartender, but it's never really explained

[16:36] why he's behind the bar.

[16:38] Like, I mean, he's just looking for a drink.

[16:39] There's no bartender.

[16:40] You need to meet cute.

[16:41] And that's that's OK.

[16:43] And he's like, he's like charmingly befuddled.

[16:45] Like he is.

[16:46] He is a straight nerd at this point, right?

[16:48] Yeah, it's very awkward.

[16:49] And so my guess is that he felt weird talking to the bartender.

[16:53] So he waited for the bartender to go on break

[16:55] so he could go back behind the bar and get himself a drink.

[16:57] That's my guess.

[16:58] Yeah. So at this point, I was like,

[17:01] team Lady Gaga, fun woman.

[17:04] Yeah. Look at this shy, awkward man.

[17:06] And it's like, oh, he's kind of cute.

[17:09] Wait, why are you looking at me?

[17:11] No, because you're you're doing the the summary.

[17:14] So I was letting you go.

[17:17] And now there's no deeper implication there.

[17:19] No, no deeper implication about about kind of a cool, stylish lady

[17:24] who set her eyes on kind of a geeky, kind of nerdy, kind of quiet guy

[17:29] who ends up turning both of them into monsters.

[17:31] I feel like stiff is a really good term.

[17:33] Yeah, yeah. Stiff, pale, just kind of like effectless.

[17:36] But also like self-interested.

[17:38] It's so weird how Adam Driver kept quoting Sherlock Holmes

[17:42] while he was at the bar.

[17:43] And it's like Lady Gaga wouldn't like this.

[17:46] Quoting Shrek.

[17:48] Quoting Shrek.

[17:50] So I would buy that anachronism so hard.

[17:53] As Shrek says.

[17:55] The one thing out of time on this.

[17:58] As a Shrek says, I believe in a fairy tale.

[18:02] That's not even a song.

[18:04] My body wants to hold me.

[18:05] The world is going to rule me.

[18:09] I'm talking about my reputation.

[18:11] It's another song.

[18:13] Yeah, all the famous Shrek quotes we're finding out are just songs

[18:16] that were in Shrek other than donkey.

[18:19] There's no there's a there's a there's an onion quote that's famous from Shrek.

[18:24] An onion quote. Yeah.

[18:26] About onions.

[18:28] Yeah, he's got layers.

[18:31] I think you're I think you're thinking of Harriet the Spy,

[18:34] which is a lot like Shrek.

[18:37] Anyway, so they dance together.

[18:40] Adam Driver's uncomfortable.

[18:41] He doesn't seem to know how to dance, but she's, you know, cutting a rug.

[18:44] And Lady Gaga has clearly set her eye to this man.

[18:48] She makes it her business that they will run into each other at,

[18:52] I guess, the library.

[18:55] It's like a school bookstore because, yeah, yeah.

[18:58] I think it's a university bookstore.

[19:00] He's in law school. Yeah.

[19:01] And and yeah, she's she's following him around town

[19:04] trying to find the perfect place to bump into him because and it's one of those

[19:07] things where it's like, OK, I was watching me.

[19:09] I'm like, it's early on.

[19:10] I don't know whether this is supposed to be creepy or supposed to be cute.

[19:14] And as the movie goes on, you're like, OK, it was creepy.

[19:15] But at the time, it could be cute.

[19:17] I just realized something.

[19:18] There was a guy following them around in a car.

[19:20] I don't know who that is.

[19:22] That's the guy who's the lawyer, I believe, right?

[19:26] I don't think so.

[19:26] I think that was kind of like just this guy following around.

[19:30] It looked like it.

[19:31] At first, I thought it was a goon who was spying on him.

[19:32] But then I think it might just have been his driver,

[19:34] which it's ironic that Adam Driver needs a driver.

[19:37] Like, why would Adam Driver need a driver?

[19:38] He's already a driver.

[19:39] Like, come on, it's like, why does Minnie Driver have a driver?

[19:42] All right.

[19:43] All right. That makes sense.

[19:45] Yeah. But because I.

[19:48] Wait, why did they make such a big deal out of it?

[19:50] Like, I don't know at first because it was it was a weird.

[19:53] They made a big deal of it.

[19:55] And they made it seem as if he didn't know this guy was following him.

[19:57] But then later he's just talking to him.

[19:58] So I think it was just.

[20:00] Well, I thought he worked for his dad, who was like concerned about like what he might be up to.

[20:05] It's possibly like, yeah, it's very unclear, you know, but it but it's not I don't think it's

[20:09] Domenico, the lawyer becomes a bigger and bigger character.

[20:12] Anyway, Lady Gaga stands in front of his Vespa until he crumbles to ask her out.

[20:19] And she writes her phone number on his Vespa windshield and lipstick.

[20:22] Would you have your hands?

[20:24] Audrey, you don't need to raise your hand unless Elliot's talking and then

[20:27] well, part of a silent gesture is that you can see it.

[20:31] Yeah, Audrey, Audrey, we still haven't figured that out.

[20:34] We've been doing this for almost 15 years.

[20:36] We don't figure out how to notify each other that we want to say something.

[20:39] I find that the clumsier the show is, the more people like it.

[20:42] But sure, sure.

[20:46] She puts let's just make this clear, because I don't know if you guys picked up on this, but

[20:52] she put her number on the windshield and then she used the lipstick.

[20:58] That is so disgusting.

[21:01] Did Charlene say?

[21:02] Because I know she recommended it last week.

[21:05] Yeah, sure, sure.

[21:07] Didn't point that out.

[21:07] And that's a big thing.

[21:08] Maybe I mean, maybe it's loves windshield.

[21:11] Maybe it's an Italian thing.

[21:12] But maybe like bugs and dirt are a key part of getting a perfect lip.

[21:16] You're right.

[21:17] I don't know how the Italians do lipstick.

[21:20] So maybe it's I think it's just a movie.

[21:22] Oh, boy, just trying to be sexy in the movie.

[21:24] It's like there's a scene in the movie The Believer with Ryan Gosling, where he throws

[21:28] up and then his girlfriend gives him a kiss right afterwards to, like, calm him down.

[21:32] And it's disgusting.

[21:35] No.

[21:35] So they have a nice date together and it culminates in an awkward kiss in a rowboat

[21:41] where they're just kind of trying to awkward describes a lot of their romance.

[21:45] It's a fairly awkward date.

[21:47] It's like she doesn't want to go into a fancy restaurant.

[21:49] So they kind of awkwardly hold street food and then they get into a rowboat.

[21:53] They almost fall out of over and over again.

[21:55] This is a montage.

[21:56] She's wearing different outfits.

[21:57] So these are separate.

[21:59] These are different awkward dates.

[22:00] Yeah, they're getting more.

[22:01] They're getting they're not getting any more comfortable with each other.

[22:04] She's really forcing the issue with him.

[22:05] Yeah.

[22:05] Well, OK, well, enter Adam Driver's dad, Jeremy Irons, who makes no particular effort

[22:13] at an accent, and he dials back the natural Jeremy Irons ham factor.

[22:19] Quite like he doesn't even sound like scar.

[22:22] He doesn't sound like he does.

[22:24] He doesn't sound like a lion.

[22:26] He doesn't look like, although he looks like what I have written down here is

[22:32] if they took John Waters and somebody was like, take John Waters and make him straight.

[22:37] And that's like, yes, there's another there's another scene where he's dressed up.

[22:41] And my note says Dunedin goes to the Met Gala.

[22:47] And he's playing Rodolfo Gucci.

[22:49] Yeah, who was so that we start to get a little bit of the Gucci family tree here.

[22:52] Dan, you want me to lay it out for you?

[22:55] Yeah, I will get into it.

[22:56] But I think maybe having it ahead of time will be helpful.

[22:58] So so so so the founder of Gucci was Gucci.

[23:02] Oh, Gucci.

[23:03] And this and of his children, the ones who are now running the company in the movie are

[23:07] his son's Rodolfo Gucci, who was an actor who then

[23:10] became, I guess, a designer for the for the company and his brother, Aldo Gucci,

[23:14] who will later be played by Al Pacino.

[23:16] And Aldo Gucci has been kind of running the business side of the business.

[23:20] And Rodolfo Jerry Meyerns is Adam Driver's dad.

[23:23] And Al Pacino is the father of Jared Leto's character, Paolo Gucci,

[23:26] who is, as Danielle said, we're watching the Fredo of the move of the family.

[23:30] Yes, totally.

[23:31] The movie had come out in the 90s.

[23:33] Joe Pesci would have killed that fucking role.

[23:35] Fredo's.

[23:36] Audrey's got a quizzical look.

[23:39] I'm afraid I was the the goofy brother in the Corleone family,

[23:44] the one that no one trusts with the legacy.

[23:48] He's the one who he should be next in line after James Conn's character Sonny dies.

[23:52] But he is OK.

[23:53] He's older than not too many spoilers.

[23:55] He's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[23:58] I'm your older brother, Michael.

[24:00] But he's a moron.

[24:01] And so they're like, you go to Las Vegas and just be an idiot.

[24:04] Just don't go do that.

[24:05] You know, so anyway, they all go out to lunch together.

[24:08] And Jeremy Irons is, you know, like taking enough with Lady Gaga, but is like, OK,

[24:14] she learned he learns that her dad works in, quote, ground transportation,

[24:19] which brands her as a poor in his eyes.

[24:22] And well, he well, so his her dad runs.

[24:25] I'm part of the mafia.

[24:27] It's not he's he says if her dad runs trucks, he's part of the mafia.

[24:31] She's lower class.

[24:31] And he goes, make her your mistress.

[24:33] But don't you don't marry her.

[24:34] This is it's like in in the The Marvelous Mrs.

[24:39] Maisel when Joel brings his his rebound girlfriend, his secretary.

[24:42] They left Mrs.

[24:43] Maisel for his parents.

[24:44] And his dad is like, have sex with her, do whatever you want.

[24:47] But you do not marry this girl.

[24:48] Don't you don't marry a girl like this.

[24:50] And I don't know about you guys, but at least when I was a teenager and my dad didn't like

[24:53] my girlfriend, him complaining about to me did not make it make me not want to see her.

[24:59] No, I mean, maybe he's playing a classic like reverse psychology game where he's like,

[25:06] I love these two, but he's so awkward.

[25:08] Maybe I'll ignite their passion, which is just the plot of the Fantastics.

[25:12] Maybe he just saw the Fantastics could be.

[25:17] Yeah.

[25:17] So, yes.

[25:18] And Adam Driver has a little monologue about Jeremy Irons's characters, regrets and ghosts,

[25:24] which like Audrey and I both felt unearned at that point.

[25:27] The movie is like we have no idea who you are.

[25:30] Jeremy Irons.

[25:31] We're both jotting stuff down.

[25:32] And once in a while we see something and we both start typing and then we look and it's

[25:37] like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[25:38] Then we high five and then we dance.

[25:42] This movie took us six hours.

[25:44] Like a wave.

[25:46] But it sounds like you really you really made the most out of it, you know, made it.

[25:50] Yeah.

[25:51] Anyway, he says he's got the other people.

[25:54] How did the other people in the theater take it?

[25:56] Just stop the movie and then dance for a little bit.

[25:59] We're like, you don't understand theater.

[26:01] And then we high five.

[26:03] And somebody's like, I have a podcast.

[26:08] Yeah, we high five that person.

[26:11] So he says he's going to marry her.

[26:14] And I am driver shows up at at her parents for her hand in marriage.

[26:18] And it's like, I'm I just split with my father.

[26:21] So I have nothing to offer.

[26:22] So can I have a job with you?

[26:24] He takes a job with her dad and we see him.

[26:27] I found this very charming at this point.

[26:30] Yeah.

[26:31] An Italian cover of I'm a believer, the monkey song starts playing and he's spraying trucks

[26:36] off with water, which is in Shrek.

[26:38] Wait a minute.

[26:42] We did it.

[26:43] House of Shrek.

[26:44] But Adam Driver clearly is charming everyone by he gets into water fights.

[26:49] I love other guys.

[26:50] Yeah, they're having fights and playing like he loves it.

[26:54] Speaking of those fights, I mean, it's the best job in the it's the best job in the world.

[26:58] You just play with have fun with your friends in the middle of the day.

[27:01] Your wife calls you into the office and you have sex.

[27:03] And that's it.

[27:03] That's your job.

[27:04] As you were saying, speaking of hose fights, Lady Gaga finds the soccer so cute that she

[27:10] calls him to the office and they have sex while opera plays.

[27:14] And his sex style is jackhammer.

[27:18] It looks not it does not look pleasant for either of them.

[27:21] They don't really linger on it in a way that they're like,

[27:26] like, what I have is unbearably long sex scene.

[27:30] Like Ridley Scott was like, stretch for time.

[27:33] It's like, thank God, a movie is a fucking sexy.

[27:36] Now I fumble with the button some more.

[27:41] And she's wearing her cute shit underneath her dress.

[27:43] It's great.

[27:44] Thumbs up, says Stewart.

[27:45] But there's there's something it's like it's a very sexy scene until they start actually

[27:49] having sex.

[27:50] And then it's like and then it's like you're slowly driving by a car wreck.

[27:53] And you're like, I should be going faster.

[27:54] Let's part of the jar when they're like grunting like animals.

[27:58] I love it.

[27:58] Can I just say that you look at Adam Driver and Lady Gaga and you don't think that they

[28:03] would really go well together.

[28:04] But I think they have good chemistry.

[28:06] And I think like it makes sense to see the two of them on screen together.

[28:10] Yeah, at least in these early scenes, I think.

[28:12] And I like I like their later scenes, too.

[28:15] Basically, I like the scenes with them more than basically anything else in this movie.

[28:19] But like they're they're like charming.

[28:21] They're like super awkward and charming and like nerdy.

[28:24] I kind of like it.

[28:26] Yeah.

[28:26] Yeah, I think they're they I think their performances are.

[28:30] Yeah, they're at pretty much exactly the pitch they should be at for this movie.

[28:34] And I wish the movie was like meeting them at it because they're they're like they're

[28:38] just like a little bit above realistic, you know.

[28:41] But but I mean, Lady Gaga is not I'm not surprised at all by this.

[28:45] But she's just I think she's a really good actress.

[28:47] You know, she's especially especially a role like this that plays to her theatricality,

[28:51] you know.

[28:52] And I think she's good at roles, too, because the other one is what's the shallow movie

[28:58] A Star is Born, where it's like these very ambitious,

[29:02] like clawing to the top type women that she's particularly good at.

[29:07] The problem with I had the problem the problem I have with A Star is Born is

[29:10] it's the same problem I have with any movie that Madonna's in except for A League of Their Own.

[29:14] You don't like women?

[29:16] I hate women.

[29:16] So I'm like, replace this character with a man.

[29:19] No, is that it's hard?

[29:20] A man, Gaga?

[29:23] Yeah, is that Lord Gaga?

[29:26] Yeah, is that they are so powerfully charismatic in their their personas as who they are that

[29:31] it's hard to see them as something else.

[29:33] So luckily, she's playing such a theatrical character here that I'm like, OK, that's this.

[29:37] Whereas in A Star is Born, when she's first hanging out and she's just singing in a bar,

[29:40] I was like, but that's Lady Gaga.

[29:42] Like, what's Lady Gaga doing there?

[29:43] Like, she's in an arena.

[29:45] Like, come on.

[29:45] Is anyone else seeing this?

[29:48] But she's also very good, like in this movie, in the early scenes,

[29:51] playing someone who's kind of like small and cute and like doesn't seem to be kind of.

[29:57] No, but it's but theatrically small, theatrically small.

[30:00] yeah yeah um anyway so that's it you kind of you don't know for a little bit whether she is

[30:05] whether yeah whether she's the the innocent who's going to be corrupted by the gucci family

[30:09] or if she's the all about eve character who's gonna who's going to bring corruption to them

[30:13] yeah and i think that's a really that's really good on her part yeah um well anyway they get

[30:17] married uh with hardly anyone on the groom's side george michael's faith plays not my favorite of

[30:24] the needle drops let me tell you no it is this is the one where i was like i could i i spent so

[30:28] much time trying to work out the mathematics of why this is the song to play in this in this scene

[30:33] and i just couldn't do that math so someone right in but also i really want to know there's one

[30:38] there's two people who are on the groom's side this like kind of elderly couple or like

[30:42] couple in their 50s or 60s and i was like i want to know who they are yeah like who is who are the

[30:46] one gucci couple who decided to show up at his wedding uh so although gucci uh arrives in the

[30:52] movie at this point al pacino uh he sees about the wedding in a magazine and uh he goes to see

[30:59] jeremy irons they are both uh 50 50 uh partners in the gucci business he comes did you did you

[31:06] think it was did you think it was weird that so the paparazzi are taking pictures at the wedding

[31:10] and then and it goes the movie goes to black and white as the pictures are being taken

[31:14] but when aldo picks up the magazine the pictures in color that he sees it's a weird choice there's

[31:20] a couple of stylistic choices in the movie like that where i'm like why is it doing this like hold

[31:24] on i don't but anyway what did we watch french dispatch audrey was like how do you feel about

[31:29] it going back and forth from black and white to color i'm like i don't mind but it doesn't it

[31:33] does not seem to have any rhyme or reason in the in that movie and and uh i'm going to talk about

[31:37] french dispatch maybe a little bit later in the episode but uh that was something in it where i

[31:41] was like it was like yeah why i don't i don't know why he's switching between these two things you

[31:46] know uh anyway uh so aldo's here in part he talks about uh you know building a mall in japan and

[31:53] jeremy adams is too tied to the old ways and gucci has this luxury brand he doesn't want to you know

[31:58] make it for the masses but also aldo is there to tell him to men bridges with his son and uh he

[32:05] invites lady gaga and adam driver to his birthday party over the phone while getting a massage yeah

[32:12] and uh and uh his you know this movie does a pretty good job of taking like very boring uh

[32:19] plot point conversations and trying to find something that's going on like whether it's

[32:23] a massage or like just have like animals playing in the background or or one of my favorites when

[32:29] uh lady gaga and selma hayek are in a mud bath and they're like smearing mud on each other's faces

[32:35] yeah they're in they they're plotting while on a spa date together oh they're just even

[32:40] like later on jared leto has to pick up al pacino at the airport and so

[32:43] to show that he's on the phone with someone complaining about how bad his crotch

[32:49] pretty good yeah uh anyway so there he had to make the choice to make that call at that time

[32:56] like yes fish out coins from his pocket uh-huh i mean he has like a little he has like a little

[33:02] purse wallet you know like with a little clasp on it yeah al pacino uh guilts adam driver

[33:08] into coming back into his birthday because he and uh his uh jeremy irons's character are getting

[33:14] older so we see at the birthday there's a violent rugby game where we meet jared leto for the first

[33:20] time where he gets sacked and there's blood in his nose and he then the subsequent scene has him with

[33:27] like tissue stuffed in his nose the whole time i will say i didn't realize they were playing rugby

[33:33] because i didn't see the ball at first yeah so they walked into this party there's just a group

[33:38] of dudes rumbling on the ground i'm like oh my god this is why he doesn't want to come back to

[33:42] this family this is how they handle parties they just fight at first it's like a it's like a scene

[33:48] out of the great like for that you'll just have a party and they'll just be a huge brawl like everyone's

[33:52] hitting each other as hard as they can but then the ball shows up you're like oh it's rugby okay

[33:56] it's not just it's not just a 40 man fight yeah for for aldo's amusement which is still a strange

[34:01] thing to have at a birthday party right like you don't want to do an intense sport i don't

[34:08] know i don't know maybe there's something there i think it's a i think it's a rich families thing

[34:12] where every every event is an opportunity for a competition of something like the way that

[34:17] the kennedys would play football like you have to at every party is a chance for you to to

[34:23] dominate somebody else very succession you know yeah yeah very succession i mean and this movie

[34:28] is about succession let's talk a little like uh jared leto here is buried under a ton of makeup

[34:33] i've heard people on the internet describe it as a situation of white face

[34:41] i don't know about that he has he has this character pitched at a i feel like he has

[34:46] this character pitched at a different level from the other characters in the movie that he is like

[34:50] he is basically doing a because he's playing older than himself or at least feels older than he

[34:56] actually is and uh he it feels a little bit like walton goggins as uncle baby billy from righteous

[35:02] gemstones where you have a younger man playing an older man that's like herky jerky and weird

[35:07] but like this movie isn't at the same pitch as righteous gemstones which is a comedy

[35:13] obviously a comedy whereas house of gucci does is like a drama that you have to remember like

[35:19] it feels like a comedy i i saw a david erlich review where i i liked what he said he said it

[35:25] was like comedia del arte fredo and uh i think that that's yeah this this this movie is going

[35:32] for opera and he's doing opera bufa yeah to put it on to put it on a to put it in layman's terms

[35:37] but i think but no he is but he is he's playing like a like a caricature of that character and

[35:42] but he's doing it i mean he's what he's doing at the right level like that's where everyone should

[35:48] be i'm not saying yeah i agree i don't disagree with you i'm saying it's just different than

[35:52] yeah yeah but to be honest i kind of feel like that's the experience of being in a movie

[35:56] or anywhere in a room with jared leto is that jared leto is at a different pitch of

[36:00] of existence than everybody else well and it's just like uh this very much watching this i'm

[36:04] like yeah this is the gucci the gucci cousin who like mails dead rats to his co-workers

[36:11] i can see that so i have to make a confession that uh den you know this about me but i don't

[36:18] know if you guys do where i'm very bad with particular faces and uh specifically a lot of

[36:26] white men look alike and so it's very very very frustrating for me when i've seen pictures of

[36:32] jared leto in the makeup and i know who he's supposed to be and the lawyer is in the same

[36:38] room who sort of looks like jared leto i'm like wait is he playing two parts why does why did

[36:44] they hide jared leto under makeup and then hire another jared leto look alike that's a good point

[36:50] i mean and dance like they they don't really look that much they don't look that much alike but i

[36:54] mean and the other one is like a full head of hair and jared leto is this huge bald well no no

[37:00] she thinks that the other guy looks like how jared looks in real life it's like

[37:05] i think the old man and play tilda swinton yeah yeah uh it's confusing but they're two separate

[37:14] guys speaking of jared leto this is the scene where we learn about paulo this is like where

[37:18] he's really introduced he's wearing a corduroy suit in kind of a lavender pink and with a belt

[37:25] that goes on the front only yeah it's like a suit jacket with a strap in the front that buckles yeah

[37:31] and as mentioned before he has toilet paper in his nose and he's smoking a cigarette and he's

[37:35] arguing that his style is chic and it's the future and you know like i don't mind his clothes i i

[37:42] maybe they're not i don't know they're not the classic gucci but i i i don't know i mean to be

[37:47] honest i uh his clothes uh are amusing to me but also like i'm not that i couldn't quite tell at

[37:53] there are times when when i could tell from his designs that these look not great but it's like

[37:58] there was no point where i was like yeah but the gucci clothes look amazing like there's a

[38:02] part later on where they're like look at these fancy gucci shoes they're very exclusive and the

[38:06] people looking at them are like oh it's like the holy grail but i was like it looks like a loafer

[38:10] with like a big fucking gold buckle yeah like i don't know like i've never been a fan of yeah

[38:15] they love big buckles and and uh that were like pilgrims yeah what are they like italian

[38:21] pilgrims like fancy pilgrims a bunch of solomon canes well what was confusing to me is that his

[38:28] style was really more 80s so it was sort of the future so i was like yeah looking at it from

[38:35] 2022 it makes sense it looks bad but i guess like for 80s this is where it was going so he's not

[38:43] wrong yeah especially in the fashion show that gets shut down later i'm like i can't tell this

[38:48] is supposed to be bad within the context of the movie but is it bad because it's progressive and

[38:53] they're too conservative or is it bad because it's progressive but not progressive enough

[38:58] yeah well yeah we're progressive done but well also there's a fashion show later on that's

[39:01] supposed to be the rebirth of gucci and it's like satin assless chaps and things like that

[39:06] okay movie now i don't know what's supposed to be good i had in my notes i'm like oh you know

[39:12] like everyone's reacting like this is good so i guess that these like assless leather chaps

[39:17] saved the company but yeah my notes are assless guys my notes say boy but boy but boy but boy but

[39:24] boy but yeah that was just your you were gonna do tongue twisters for elocution um it's an asmr

[39:33] practice yeah that's what the ass in asmr as we go to sleep um so just whispers boy but over and

[39:43] over i don't know why so anyway they leave uh and adam driver is like look none of this is real

[39:54] like the gucci family is not royalty they got into leather goods what is reality

[40:00] father was a bellhop and carried rich people's luggage but uh lady gaga is clearly enamored of

[40:07] this lifestyle that she's had a peek of and uh she's really fun in the scene she's shown a lot

[40:12] of leg it's great they open a gift yes it's almost like it's almost like on the drive home she

[40:17] decides to take her pants off there's so much like yeah on on display yeah but the gift from the

[40:21] family is tickets to new york um and then uh lady gaga is watching television she sees a psychic on

[40:29] pina well dan i think you forget i think you you you glossed over how so the tickets are to new

[40:33] york so that he can become part of the the company and then lady gaga gives him a blow job while

[40:38] they're driving to convince him i mean it's not like normal integral to the plot or anything i'm

[40:43] just saying well i think it shows that she's really driving driving behind who's driving

[40:51] that's who drives the drive men that's what she's providing a sexual reward for him getting back

[40:57] into the family she's she's really at she is already at the point where she's not just like

[41:01] oh i want to be a part of this she's like i'm pushing my husband yes to make him be a part of

[41:06] this so that i can be part and at each point where people are offering him things she's saying yes

[41:10] he's saying maybe and then she's going afterwards when it's the two of them and really saying this

[41:15] is a yes we're gonna do this yeah yeah adam driver's like call me maybe and she's like call

[41:20] me yes well anyway uh she sees the psychic on television pina who is played by salma hayek and

[41:27] at first uh i think it's just like a psychic commercial so i'm very confused when lady gaga

[41:32] calls in and salma hayek answers the phone yeah no no this is like she's she's the italian equivalent

[41:39] of frazier you can call in and she'll answer your problem yeah so was miss cleo live or was it just

[41:45] an ad no it's just an ad those are just ads those were ads for a hotline yeah yeah uh and and also

[41:51] she was not a real psychic and in case anyone's wondering this is not pina bausch the choreographer

[41:55] this is a different pina so um but she asked whether she's gonna get what she wants and she's

[42:02] told to get a great fortune um so anyway we go uh uh lady gaga goes to a gucci store to see aldo

[42:10] to try and maybe they're maybe they're just that rich that they can call any show and the show has

[42:15] to answer the phone and talk to them or the gucci switch over from being a commercial to being a live

[42:19] show like it's like if you like if you were watching like uh like yellow jackets and you're

[42:26] like i have some advice for these girls and you you're so rich that you call them up and they

[42:29] have to answer a phone in the in the show yeah sure yeah they answer the phone they get all the

[42:34] actors together they set up that scene so that they could put in the live call exactly you have

[42:40] to wait for a while and then and even though it totally breaks that it breaks the reality of that

[42:44] show for them to have a phone call in the show yeah you're just that power yeah it's like they

[42:48] like pull open a panel on a tree because they're still stuck out in the woods in the 90s and

[42:52] there's a phone right there so they answer it you're like oh i was hoping i was calling the

[42:55] modern day because i love melanie linsky and want to tell her that um anyway modern day on the phone

[43:02] okay hold on they've got to send those actors home bring the modern day accuracy they put modern

[43:07] family instead what a shame oh now you're talking to ty burrell which is its own sort of special

[43:12] pleasure but it's not what you wanted when you called yeah exactly uh she brings uh aldo and

[43:17] maurizio back together building uh bridges mending bridges whatever uh uh lady gaga says she's

[43:26] pregnant uh she says she's pregnant is that that's also that's that when they go to aldo's

[43:30] second birthday party yes because like a toddler he has multiple birthday parties

[43:35] with different people yeah i figured there's passage of time there yeah i thought it was like

[43:38] a year past it's very hard to tell time in this i assumed that he had had his family birthday party

[43:45] and now this was his birthday party with the workers of gucci like they were going to like

[43:49] little leather fife elliot i i will split the difference but not out of diplomacy this actually

[43:54] is the way i feel uh i couldn't tell what the movie was saying whether it was possibly a second

[44:00] birthday party or they're saying and a year passed and this is like a sequence where where we see

[44:05] them both in in is it both in new york and in italy like looking at like they get the tour kind

[44:12] of of the business from all this yeah and i yes i want to mention that lady gaga was wearing four

[44:18] inch heels at a farm which i don't know if you guys know this but if you're wearing a stiletto

[44:24] heel and you're in the ground it just like your heel sinks so yeah that is a lot of hard work

[44:30] for her and real commitment real commitment i mean and the real problem is if it sinks too far

[44:36] and it takes root and it sprouts into a stiletto tree and then you got to just you got to bring in

[44:42] workers to pick those stilettos and harvest them and take them to the gucci stores yeah lady gaga

[44:47] you could kill a million steven webers with those things apologies for the siren outside that i'm

[44:52] sure you can all hear the and this there's a scene in here where after kind of getting the tour uh

[44:58] lady gaga is trying to once again trying to convince uh maurizio to take a stronger hand

[45:04] in the company and she does that while night lotioning which i'm a huge fan of night lotion

[45:09] is always that's a key uh key step you know night lotion if you're gonna try and convince somebody

[45:14] before bed uh anyway aldo you know and meets them at gucci store he says lady gaga can have anything

[45:20] she wants they all go to dinner uh he wants uh adam driver to be his right hand man and but he's

[45:26] still dubious meanwhile though paolo goes to uh jeremy irons to tattle on uh what's going on

[45:34] between aldo and his son and uh i think paolo's like cool maybe we can do a dad swap so like you

[45:42] can be my dad now do a cool collab because he like are you my dad now dad don't call me dad

[45:48] he brings jeremy irons a bunch of fashion drawings to grind try and get support for these designs

[45:53] and uh jeremy irons like humors him for a moment to make him like seem like oh maybe he's going to

[45:59] be nice and then he's like hide your drawings away because you're a triumph of mediocrity

[46:04] and that's the one thing that he and uh aldo his father can agree on that he's an imbecile

[46:10] and he mostly seems mad that he's combined browns and pastels in his designs yeah i guess that's a

[46:16] fashion that's even more cruel than just denying the guy out right it's like making him have hope

[46:22] so you can crush it it's like the opposite of a reality show judge where you're like

[46:27] i don't like this thing you made i love it yeah yeah pack it pack your knives because you're

[46:34] going to the finals that's because he's an actor he understands what suspense is yeah and but paolo

[46:40] gets his revenge when he takes jeremy iron's signature scarf and pees on it yeah i genuinely

[46:45] felt bad for him until he peed on the scarf but jeremy no what's his name jeremy's iron no what's

[46:51] uh jared leto is doing such like his performance is so good yeah and uh you genuinely feel sorry

[47:01] for him knowing he's that you know he's that guy who sent terrible things to his co-stars in

[47:08] suicide squad yeah well he's definitely all the way in at this point like there's yeah we're

[47:13] getting a lot of jared leto on the screen here yeah and he's acting in front of jeremy irons

[47:17] again an actor who is known for a hamming the fuck up so you know you know jared leto's bring

[47:22] his a game yeah jeremy irons is like don't ever show these drawings to me again now i have to go

[47:27] set a series of death traps before bruce willis and samuel l jackson do not bother me yeah uh

[47:33] meanwhile adam driver and lady gaga have their baby and they're called back to italy because

[47:38] uh it's called a bambino character is ill oh bambina because it's a daughter oh my mistake

[47:45] they tell him he has a granddaughter alexandria named after uh uh adam driver's character's mother

[47:52] at lady gaga suggestion and they they bring him a lock of the baby's hair instead of bringing him

[47:58] the baby to see which seems weird i don't know why they didn't do that and uh the there's a father

[48:03] son uh you know rap approach mont uh right before jeremy irons is dead um cut to the funeral

[48:12] the lawyer explains that because he didn't sign uh something uh morita so these are these are the

[48:19] this is the certificate of shares that shows that he's a 50 owner in gucci rudolfo never signed the

[48:24] paperwork and so uh if they try to inherit them they're going to be hit with an enormous estate

[48:29] tax this is italian law i guess what a tax they cannot pay what rich people do is give you

[48:34] everything beforehand so that it's not an inheritance you just have it yeah but it's

[48:40] like a debt yeah because of this because i assume because of this uh this conflict between them and

[48:46] then he also forgot jeremy's character spends a lot of time just sitting in a room watching his

[48:50] own old movies yeah so i mean he's not watching dead ringers he's watching rudolph yeah i feel

[48:55] like that's i i feel like that's gonna be us when we're like super old as we'll be like sitting

[49:00] somewhere just listening to our old podcasts wrapped up in a fucking shawl wearing glasses

[49:05] i would love it to sit sit in a little italian garden with a tiny cup of coffee listening to

[49:10] the old it would be great and then you know and there's and you know we're we're dead because our

[49:15] head just slumps forward slightly and then some leaves fall off a tree yeah and that's it i was

[49:19] gonna say i mean a bird would a hundred percent shit on my dead body at that point yeah sure

[49:25] you don't care you're dead why not it's a joke yeah you're just like gotta get one final larf in

[49:29] there the uh yeah i like one last larf last larf the last larf um so and lady gaga's outrage yeah

[49:42] like they're like you're like gucci to to pay it off to pay no and luckily we have already been

[49:49] introduced to the idea that lady gaga is a master forger since she forges her father's signature

[49:54] when she worked for him yeah now salmahai

[50:00] She's already been able to forge a signature she's seen every day of her life.

[50:03] Why can't she forge a signature she may never have seen?

[50:06] Selma Hyke is now Lady Gaga's personal psychic, advising her not to let others take what's hers.

[50:12] Selma psychic.

[50:14] Yeah.

[50:14] She's got plenty of cats in her apartment.

[50:16] I Feel Love by Donna Summer kicks in.

[50:19] So that made me happy.

[50:21] And although-

[50:22] Sure, it's a great song.

[50:23] Shows Adam Driver's new office and everything seems fine.

[50:27] Lady Gaga sees that the housekeeper has a handbag that's a knockoff Gucci.

[50:32] And so she goes downtown and she finds people selling these counterfeit bags in the street.

[50:36] And she's mad that Adam Driver doesn't seem to care about it.

[50:39] But and she's like, it damages the brand.

[50:43] And they take it to Aldo, who doesn't mind because it kind of means that

[50:46] Gucci is this aspirational thing.

[50:48] Like, who cares if people are having knockoffs?

[50:51] And I think it's also-

[50:52] Now, am I understanding this incorrectly?

[50:55] That Gucci was-

[50:58] I think they're implying was the source of those fake Gucci's.

[51:00] These are lower quality Gucci bags that they're allowing-

[51:02] I thought that there was that implication as well.

[51:05] But it was hard to read exactly what was being said.

[51:08] We debated over this.

[51:10] And I don't know.

[51:12] I think what the uncle was saying is that the name is what's important.

[51:17] So if like it is aspirational for people, whatever, let them have it.

[51:21] It's the luxury item that the rich people will get the quality anyways.

[51:26] Well, I think that but I think that's what he's saying is that,

[51:28] look, we make the quality items for the rich people.

[51:31] But we make a lot of money off of these crappy versions that people think are counterfeit.

[51:35] But we still make some money off of it.

[51:37] Like that this is the real that he-

[51:38] I think what he's saying is this is really where we make our money.

[51:41] I feel like that was implied but not stated directly.

[51:43] And I mean, in real life, they do a lot of this.

[51:45] A lot of like the fake ones are ones that come from the company.

[51:49] It's like that's the scam, you know, it's fake luxury.

[51:53] But he also just like tells them like, oh, without me, you'd be shoveling shit in Tuscany.

[51:57] So he's basically like, look, I made this company what it is by being a schemer and

[52:03] kind of a con artist.

[52:04] So get mad at me if you want.

[52:06] But that's the only way you can afford that huge apartment that you have.

[52:10] And it seems like, you know, Aldo has a good point.

[52:11] But then we cut to a fashion show where Adam Driver learns from a designer that

[52:15] Gucci isn't respected anymore.

[52:16] So maybe Lady Gaga has a good point.

[52:20] And she's like, you got to take out the trash.

[52:22] And that means Aldo and Paolo.

[52:24] And Paolo has started his own clothing line, which Lady Gaga wants to talk to him to fix

[52:31] like this competition.

[52:32] She goes to see him and flatters him.

[52:34] Jared Leto does a lot of funny dancing in this scene.

[52:37] Yeah, and she does a lot of like very fake like, oh, you're so smarter.

[52:43] Oh, how do you become such a good dancer?

[52:44] It's really good.

[52:45] Yeah.

[52:46] And he's like, I am a good dancer.

[52:47] Thank you so much.

[52:48] I am.

[52:48] I'm glad you noticed.

[52:49] Nobody noticed.

[52:53] And this is where he says he says moose when he means mouse, which, again, only makes sense

[52:57] if the conversation is in English.

[52:59] It doesn't really make sense if they're speaking Italian because he's from Italy.

[53:02] He speaks Italian and he knows and they don't have moose in Italy.

[53:04] So they have a word for mouse, I assume.

[53:06] I don't speak Italian, but, you know.

[53:07] But she's pouring poison in his ear, trying to get him to break with.

[53:12] Yeah, it's not Hamlet.

[53:14] They're not really literally poison.

[53:16] I mean, that's the tale of Gonzaga.

[53:18] It's not really.

[53:22] So how do you think they killed the king?

[53:24] How do you think Claudius killed him if it wasn't pouring poison in his ear?

[53:27] Oh, you think that's like the direct thing that happened?

[53:30] That was my guess was that it was like this play is saying exactly what we just did.

[53:34] Whereas I think Claudius would be able to shrug it off like, hey, that's how they're

[53:37] killing the king.

[53:38] I killed him a different way.

[53:40] But if there's a poison expert, tell me out there would pouring poison in someone's ear

[53:50] it killed Gonzaga and I'm assuming Hamlet's dad.

[53:53] Yeah.

[53:54] Anyway, so she's like trying to get him to break with his dad.

[53:59] And Jared Leto is like, can you keep a secret?

[54:01] And this is where she does the father, son and house of Gucci line.

[54:05] Oh, yeah, that's where if I was in the movie theater watching this,

[54:09] I would be hooting and hollering.

[54:11] According to according to the Internet ad lived by Lady Gaga.

[54:14] Yeah.

[54:15] And Apollo's like, what am I going to get out of it?

[54:19] And she's like, we'll do we'll make your line your clothing line.

[54:23] And I'm drivers mad that, you know, she's making these deals without him.

[54:28] But she's like, this line will never see the light of day.

[54:31] And Adam Driver seems disgusted by her schemes.

[54:34] But he also is like going along with all of them, which is like later on.

[54:38] Yeah, when he rejects her for all the manipulation, she's like,

[54:42] dude, you took you played your part in all of this.

[54:46] Yes.

[54:46] Well, I think this is the this is the we're getting to the inflection point where

[54:51] she goes from being the malevolent one to him becoming the malevolent one.

[54:55] It's like this movie.

[54:56] It really wants to it really follows a godfather model in a big way with Adam

[55:00] Driver being the closest equivalent to Michael Corleone, where he starts out as the innocent.

[55:04] And by the end of it, he's in as deep as anyone's ever been.

[55:07] And he's gone farther than anyone's ever gone in his corruption.

[55:11] But it's like there's such a I mean, one of them.

[55:13] I mean, that's one of the greatest movies of all time.

[55:15] Like his his corruption descent is so clear.

[55:18] And it's so understandable.

[55:19] And this one that I take.

[55:20] Yeah, I'm going to live here.

[55:22] So the Godfather is one of the greatest movies of all time.

[55:24] But there's a there are times during this where like the the corruption arc is just

[55:29] not quite as clear.

[55:30] And I got I have to admit that I got confused about what their business machinations were.

[55:34] There's a part where Paolo finishes a fencing match and Maurizio talks him into some kind

[55:38] of scheme.

[55:38] And I'm like, I don't really understand what they're talking about shortly after.

[55:42] Yeah, right.

[55:43] Yeah, that's there.

[55:44] Paolo meets with Adam Driver.

[55:47] Basically, Aldo has been doing tax fraud.

[55:49] And so they're going to use that as leverage.

[55:52] Paolo tries to phone Aldo to threaten him.

[55:55] And because he's kind of just like simpering in his attempts to be like a blackmailer,

[56:01] Pacino just hangs up on him.

[56:03] Yeah, because at first he's like, no, no, no.

[56:05] Tell me what you want to tell me about.

[56:07] And Jarlo's like, ah, no, no, no.

[56:08] Let's wait until you're free.

[56:09] He's like, no, tell me now.

[56:11] He's like, it's about taxis.

[56:12] Like, oh, tell me later.

[56:14] No, he said, taxis.

[56:17] What about a taxi?

[56:18] I don't know about a taxi.

[56:19] Bye.

[56:22] I mean, I could watch so many scenes of Aldo and Paolo.

[56:25] They're so great.

[56:27] Like, I want to see I want the web series where it's just like six minute episodes of

[56:31] Aldo and Paolo.

[56:32] What a promotional tool that they just left on the table right there.

[56:36] Oh, they just let there's this.

[56:37] And we'll get to it.

[56:38] My favorite scene of the two of them where Paolo gives all those some bad news.

[56:42] And he just, yeah, this was this was the this was the must see show that Quibi needed that

[56:48] they didn't have.

[56:48] They were wasting their time with, you know, what's her name, being a judge and stuff like

[56:53] that.

[56:53] But anyway, so.

[56:55] But yeah, maybe that's what it was.

[56:58] She was a judge or something.

[57:00] Maybe Aldo should have not hung up on it because the next scene is cut to Department of

[57:05] Treasury men showing up to his squash game to arrest him.

[57:09] And Paolo Jared Leto has this regretful scene on the phone where he is at his biggest comic

[57:17] opera.

[57:18] I feel like just like sad over the phone and like moving back and forth from that to being

[57:24] like, do you think he's going to suspect it was me?

[57:27] Yeah, the guy who threatened him to do that before Aldo is guilty.

[57:35] He's sentenced to jail for a year and a day, which seems very specific.

[57:40] And we go to Paolo's fashion show of brown and pastel clothes, which is shut down immediately

[57:46] by a copyright lawsuit saying that he shouldn't have the right to the Gucci name.

[57:52] And his wife is gamely trying to sing opera through all of this scene as everything gets

[57:56] shut down.

[57:58] And Paolo confronts them.

[57:59] So upsetting.

[58:00] Yeah.

[58:02] And this is the only diegetic opera in the whole movie, right?

[58:05] Every other time.

[58:06] It's like, well, we got something to do.

[58:12] But it's just like booming.

[58:13] We got this Tracy Chapman song.

[58:14] Wait a minute.

[58:15] It turns into an opera.

[58:18] Fast car.

[58:20] Yep, it is fast car.

[58:21] No, it's not fast car.

[58:22] But Paolo's like, don't you even look at me.

[58:24] You're lying a sack of potatoes.

[58:27] And he said, that's the line.

[58:29] That's he has the immortal line.

[58:31] Never confuse shit with chocolate.

[58:34] What's crazy about that line is he says it.

[58:36] He's like, because I know the difference.

[58:38] And then it cuts to Adam Driver and Lady Gaga.

[58:40] And they're like stunned because it looks like they're considering how does he know

[58:44] the difference?

[58:46] Did he eat?

[58:47] Did someone trick Paolo into eating shit?

[58:49] Or did he eat it?

[58:50] Or it's within his character arc.

[58:53] I think I paused the movie at that point.

[58:55] And I was like, Dan, he's saying he ate shit, right?

[58:58] They're like, here in Italy, we do have toilets that sometimes look like bowls.

[59:02] Did he just walk up to one and think it was a bowl of chocolate and chow down and start

[59:06] digging in?

[59:07] Like, Paolo, what are you talking about?

[59:11] Could have been one of those Pittsburgh toilets where it's just a toilet in the middle of

[59:14] the room without any walls.

[59:16] That is so wild.

[59:17] What do you do with that?

[59:19] Why do you need so much space?

[59:20] In the case of Paolo, you just eat the turds.

[59:24] You assume it's chocolate and you just go for it.

[59:27] Yeah.

[59:27] Anyway, Gaga wants to buy the shares of Gucci.

[59:31] The only thing that would have made it better was, I know the difference.

[59:34] And they start going, milka, milka, lemonade around the corners of where the fudge is made.

[59:39] And believe me, it doesn't taste like fudge.

[59:42] Well, not a real fudge.

[59:43] I'm not saying it's a real fudge.

[59:44] Don't eat it.

[59:45] Okay, okay, Paolo.

[59:47] I've learned my lesson many times.

[59:50] Um, yeah, so, uh, Paolo is like, fudge you.

[59:56] It'll look similar, but it smells very different.

[1:00:00] That's how you're gonna tell!

[1:00:01] Okay, Paolo, we got it, we got it.

[1:00:02] A subtle difference, a chocolate does usually not come in soft tubes.

[1:00:08] Yeah, a chocolata is a thing, it has kind of a bitter taste depending on how sweetened it is,

[1:00:13] but a shit is just, you know, it's just poop.

[1:00:16] It's not, it just tastes like poop and it smells like poop, you understand?

[1:00:20] If there's corn in it, it's probably poop.

[1:00:24] Paolo, we understand.

[1:00:25] If there's an undigested kernels of corn, who would put that in a chocolate?

[1:00:29] I wouldn't. A chocolata with the corn in the kernels?

[1:00:31] It's a weird, I've heard of baking bits in the corn.

[1:00:34] I don't know if it's some kind of joke.

[1:00:37] I don't, let me be honest with you, let me be frank.

[1:00:40] Now, in a caddyshack, they may stake a poop in the chocolate.

[1:00:44] A chocolate for the shit, it's very different though.

[1:00:46] That's the opposite of the situation.

[1:00:48] I don't even like it when you put sea salt in a chocolate, so why would I like a corn or other things?

[1:00:54] If it's like a baby's chocolate and they swallowed like a penny.

[1:00:57] Okay, there's a penny in it.

[1:00:59] Why would someone put that into chocolate?

[1:01:00] Why would they put the chocolate in a diaper?

[1:01:02] So don't eat that either.

[1:01:03] And they're like, and they've already left and walked into the house.

[1:01:05] He's talking to nobody at this point, you know?

[1:01:08] Well, anyway, the police raid.

[1:01:10] I like that Audrey, look at Audrey's face is, I think, is just confusion at whether I'm saying this or whether it's still the character of the bit or how far it's going or any of that.

[1:01:19] No, I was thinking about, you ever, well, I don't know.

[1:01:22] Do you guys go to baby showers?

[1:01:24] There's a baby shower game.

[1:01:25] I used to.

[1:01:25] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:01:26] Yeah, we eat out of a chocolate.

[1:01:28] That's why it's disgusting.

[1:01:30] It's gross.

[1:01:31] I don't want that because because because so many of so many social rituals are about humiliating the person that you're there to celebrate.

[1:01:38] So would you rather eat the chocolate from the diaper or do the race to like have the baby bottle that you're trying to empty by like sucking on the baby bottle until it's finished?

[1:01:51] And it's full of beer or something like that.

[1:01:53] Yeah, I know.

[1:01:54] Can I just what happens if I lose?

[1:01:56] Do I get shot?

[1:01:57] Is it squid game?

[1:01:58] Yeah, yeah, it's like squid game.

[1:02:00] Yeah, it's cold.

[1:02:02] You know what?

[1:02:02] It's a nice life and you know what?

[1:02:04] I get it.

[1:02:04] It's fine.

[1:02:05] It's cool.

[1:02:06] I get it.

[1:02:06] Welcome.

[1:02:06] Just welcome to squid.

[1:02:08] Welcome to squid shower.

[1:02:10] There's 250 of you and we're going to do some baby shower games.

[1:02:13] I thought this was squid bridal shower.

[1:02:16] Sure, we can do some of those too.

[1:02:17] We'll ask questions about your fiance and if you get them wrong, then I guess you'll be shot by this.

[1:02:21] Giant robot girl.

[1:02:22] So the the literal house of Gucci not the the figurative fashion house, but the house that they're living in gets raided at this point by the cops because one assumes that Paolo has tipped them off to the forgery that has allowed them to have their inheritance and Lady Gaga's trying to clean up the mess.

[1:02:45] Well, meanwhile, Adam driver flees to Switzerland on his Vespa, which it's like a motorcycle with his loafers.

[1:02:53] Yeah, and this sounds like a tense scene.

[1:02:55] So is there like tense kind of thrillery music playing during the scene?

[1:02:59] Write down the music.

[1:03:00] Did you know it's ill effect?

[1:03:01] It's it's it's a it's all Barber Saville music.

[1:03:04] It's all it's all comic opera.

[1:03:06] So yeah, yeah.

[1:03:07] And this is like this is the start of another act of the movie.

[1:03:10] So of course Lady Gaga has a very different haircut and outfit.

[1:03:14] Like she has got she looks much more severe than she had previously.

[1:03:18] And then this is going to lead into a number of scenes that I probably is the highlight of the movie for me.

[1:03:24] I think it might even top the Aldo Paolo stuff, which is of course Maurizio and Patricia hanging out in Switzerland.

[1:03:32] It's so much fun wearing.

[1:03:33] Yeah, it's so hard to tell how much time has passed because like the birthday party.

[1:03:38] We don't like I thought that was a year and everyone's like, oh, it's the same.

[1:03:42] Yeah, it's the same birthday.

[1:03:44] And like Lady Gaga looks the same.

[1:03:46] Adam driver looks the same besides these haircuts that you're mentioning.

[1:03:50] So it's really like you don't know how much time has passed.

[1:03:54] Well, we don't even see the kids getting that much older.

[1:03:57] Well, that's the thing.

[1:03:58] You think that you'd use their daughter getting older to like help mark that time, but they're not interested in the daughter.

[1:04:04] Yeah, that but this is a yeah, this is when things start start to go.

[1:04:08] So is skiing in Switzerland runs into Camille Cotten an actress who Audrey knows a lot from Collier.

[1:04:17] She's yeah.

[1:04:18] She's one of the leads and call my agent that French show.

[1:04:21] Okay.

[1:04:22] It's super fun.

[1:04:23] Everyone should watch it.

[1:04:25] It's they have real-life French actors and I think there's an American actor in one of the episodes where they are the agents with these actors.

[1:04:35] Yeah, yeah, I'll watch it.

[1:04:37] Yeah, you have to watch and see.

[1:04:40] Okay, I'll find out and she plays a character named Paolo, which is kind of confusing.

[1:04:45] So it's very do you think at any point because spoiler alert, they begin to have a romance at any point.

[1:04:54] They're making out or something and he's like, you know, your name is the same as my idiot cousin's name probably probably that happens.

[1:05:01] But and I just I like you mentioned the opera thing when they were raiding the house.

[1:05:06] Yeah, this actress is like a comedic actor in France.

[1:05:11] So like I know everyone says it's supposed to be a drama, but are we sure that it's not supposed to be a little comical.

[1:05:20] I think I think it is supposed to be funny.

[1:05:23] I think it's supposed to be funny and it's supposed to be a it's supposed to be an a an over-the-top melodrama type thing.

[1:05:29] But like I don't think it's supposed to be a laugh out loud comedy, but it's supposed to be like a the way that like Goodfellas is a comedy in a lot of what has a lot of fun.

[1:05:36] Funny scenes, you know, but it's but it's but Ridley Scott is just like his comedy is not his thing and and like excitement and big emotions are not his thing.

[1:05:46] You know, so the movie so visually it's so gray and white and you're like throw some color on the screen.

[1:05:53] Come on.

[1:05:54] The emotions are so big like let's make colorful.

[1:05:56] You know, I do.

[1:05:57] I do really like one of the reasons I like this Switzerland sequence is I like how like bright the clothes are.

[1:06:02] I love Lady Gaga's fucking ski outfit.

[1:06:05] That's all red with like bright.

[1:06:06] I don't see a shit.

[1:06:07] I love it.

[1:06:08] Awesome.

[1:06:09] I love when she says when she's wearing this big like Russian fur hat that is the size of a globe.

[1:06:14] Like it's amazing.

[1:06:15] Yeah, she can first image from this movie the picture of the two of them in Switzerland.

[1:06:20] Yes, everyone went wild.

[1:06:21] Yes, I want to see that and that I feel like this sequence kind of lives up to that.

[1:06:26] I love like when she confronts Paola and yeah, like, oh no, we're just friends on co-star.

[1:06:31] We're just checking out if our alignment really strange to find out he had friends all along because this whole time you just see the family members and people that work for the family and now it's like wait, shut up.

[1:06:42] You have like a group of friends that they all know you and they think you're fun.

[1:06:46] Where do these people come from?

[1:06:47] Get back.

[1:06:48] Sorry, the friction between this new woman and Adam driver romantic friction between them.

[1:06:56] Romantic friction is an interesting way to put it.

[1:06:59] A free song and then there's a negative friction with Lady Gaga as Stewart said.

[1:07:05] Oh, I see.

[1:07:06] He's she sits down and is like, hey, I don't understand people who steal things.

[1:07:11] Wink, wink, get it.

[1:07:12] I don't know.

[1:07:13] Look, I may not be the most moral person but don't steal things from other people.

[1:07:19] Okay, this is when Lady Gaga is really her performance has really come into its own and she's entered.

[1:07:25] She's trying to enter like Cruella de Vil territory.

[1:07:27] Yeah, we're just like great good.

[1:07:28] And then Dan, I think you've you've get into the scene.

[1:07:31] Let's mention.

[1:07:32] They do you they do have one marker of the time period here Christmas Christmas and they're playing with a Simon and then they give their daughter a Teddy Ruxpin.

[1:07:41] And it's like, come on guys, so fucking great because they give her a Teddy Ruxpin.

[1:07:47] You're like hell.

[1:07:48] Yeah, Teddy Ruxpin and then she gives him a watch and he's like totally shitty about it.

[1:07:52] And he kisses her forehead instead of her mouth and then he gives her her gift.

[1:07:56] He doesn't even give it to her.

[1:07:57] He lets the daughter give her the other daughter hands it to her and he lets his wife think that he didn't get her a gift for Christmas.

[1:08:04] Yeah, and then she opens the package and it's a fucking gift card to Bloomingdale's a place.

[1:08:08] She doesn't shop and he's like, hey people can change, you know, it's it's fucking so harsh man.

[1:08:14] It's great.

[1:08:15] Yeah, it's a harsh scene and it's and it's the like the the I mean, I do like it as a scene because that that as a way of showing how cold he's gotten to her combined with how goofy it is that it's like gotta show.

[1:08:26] It's the 80s Simon Simon Simon Teddy Ruxpin.

[1:08:28] It's great.

[1:08:29] I love that.

[1:08:31] But well that night he's like I'm sending you home.

[1:08:34] It's clear that like the relationship has reached a breaking point the next morning.

[1:08:39] He's like watching her leave out the window as he's on the phone about other possible investors for Gucci.

[1:08:45] Meanwhile Lady Gaga's getting another pep talk from her psychic and you miss the when he sends her away.

[1:08:52] This is like Charlene and made a comment when we were watching it about how she hadn't seen Adam driver play a character.

[1:08:58] That's like goofy and like nice and then finally during their fight like he gets fit like he gets physically violent.

[1:09:06] Like we he taps into the traditional Adam driver range of emotions and he like jokes her and he's like, he's like like grow up or grow a little and she's like, oh then put some inches in me loser and it's crazy.

[1:09:19] Yeah, I have a video that I got to send to Charlene then if she hasn't seen him be funny because he was on SNL as a host and he is hilarious hosting a cat funniest home videos thing.

[1:09:33] It's pretty great.

[1:09:34] I know I everyone co-signed this cat everyone watch it.

[1:09:37] It's America's funniest cats.

[1:09:39] I haven't seen that off to watch it anyway.

[1:09:41] So yeah, I've driver meets with the investors and he's like, you know, let me entice you with this fancy loafer that Elliot mentioned earlier and they're on me.

[1:09:52] It's like you can't former gophers.

[1:09:57] Yeah, he's you can't buy these.

[1:09:58] These shoes are in the Metropolitan.

[1:10:00] Museum of Art, and I'm like, yeah, they're just shoes. I don't know. I mean, they look

[1:10:03] like expensive shoes, but it's not, you know, they're not like Chuck Taylor's, something

[1:10:07] cool, you know, and off the wall vans, you know, Supreme or the Pope wears a Gucci.

[1:10:17] I just wanted to say that Aldo and Paolo reunited. The Pope wears the Pope wears Birkenstocks

[1:10:23] year round. I know the Pope must die. Parentheses T diet. I saw that all you know about the

[1:10:32] Pope is just that that one movie. They had to change the name and the investors they

[1:10:36] go to is called and I'm sure it's the real one is called Invest Corp, which I think is

[1:10:41] kind of great. Like, yeah, it's such a bland thing. They're there. It's an Iraqi investment

[1:10:47] group, right? Yeah. But the moment we've all been waiting for happens. Aldo and Paolo reunite

[1:10:52] in the airport. As Elliot mentioned before, Paolo's on the phone talking about his crotch

[1:10:57] smell to somebody. They have trouble finding their car in the parking lot. He's in he's

[1:11:04] in a matching tracksuit. Yeah, that's got like multiple colors and like triangle angular

[1:11:10] things on it. Right. And yeah, it looks like a fucking trapper keeper. He should have been

[1:11:18] designing homework supplies all the time. Yeah. Him and him and Lisa Max could have just divided

[1:11:23] up that all that business between. So you put a dog with a baseball bat in his mouth

[1:11:27] and it says a Babe Ruff on it. Here's my idea. Here's my idea. It's a it's a folder like

[1:11:34] a folder. The kids put the homework in the folder and on the front it's a Tyrannosaurus

[1:11:39] with a Mohawk and he's a surfing with sunglasses on and they're like print a billion of these

[1:11:44] things. You're a genius. Kids are going to love this. See, they should have let Paolo

[1:11:49] run the show. Yeah. Yeah. And Paolo Aldo is mad at him for selling his chairs. But here's

[1:11:57] what I think. You cannot have a too many a floating a triangles and a kind of neon squiggles

[1:12:01] like they go home. He's like they make up your dishes. You didn't wash it. So we like

[1:12:10] look at this place. It's a mess. These dishes. We got to watch them together. And it's and

[1:12:14] this is my maybe my favorite move moment in the movie is them washing these dishes and

[1:12:19] and Paolo goes, hey, I sold my shares in Gucci and Al Pacino just goes, oh, like as if as

[1:12:26] if someone just shot a rocket up his butt. Like that's the sound that he's making. Amazing.

[1:12:34] And so meanwhile, I'm driver and Paula have sex. Pina sees this psychically happening

[1:12:42] somehow. Maybe that was this part is also at this point, the movie is suggesting that

[1:12:46] Pina has real psychic abilities and have sex. And and Lady Gaga is like, what are they doing?

[1:12:51] What are they doing? And she's like, oh, I can't tell you. I can't tell you where they

[1:12:55] are. She's sitting on a giant couch that looks like lips. That's fucking hard. And the Gucci

[1:13:02] lawyer comes to Lady Gaga at her daughter's school with divorce papers. She refuses to

[1:13:07] sign Aldo and Paolo are going to sell to these investors. But Aldo notices the shoe and he's

[1:13:14] like, I know what's up. I know I've been betrayed. It had to have been Maurizio who gave these

[1:13:21] shoes, calls him a fucking traitor, but signs away the shares anyway.

[1:13:24] We get a bit of a montage where he's being Adam Trevor's being interviewed for Vogue,

[1:13:29] getting pictures taken. He's on top. And I think this is the stuff that's kind of the

[1:13:32] weakest part of the movie for me, because I don't really give a shit about watching

[1:13:37] a nerd barely run a company. Yeah. Well, at this at this, the movie has been so much about

[1:13:44] the fight to control Gucci. And now they have it. And it's like now he's going to run this

[1:13:49] company into the ground. And it's like, yeah, I don't really care about Gucci, the company.

[1:13:53] Like the character I've been following up to this point is Patricia is Lady Gaga. And

[1:13:58] now she recedes so far into the background and it's like, OK, he's not running Gucci very well.

[1:14:04] Great. I don't care. You know, well, speaking of Lady Gaga, she shows up to plead with him.

[1:14:09] Wait, I did like I did like when he's wasting. So he's spending money poorly and he buys this

[1:14:14] incredibly expensive car where the doors slide up. And he's so dark. And he's something like

[1:14:20] that. Yeah. And he's and he's so tall that he gets into it so clumsily. And I thought

[1:14:25] that was a great moment. It's like this guy is not fit for what he's doing. He's playing

[1:14:29] a role that he is. He really doesn't know how to pull off. He can barely get into this

[1:14:33] super expensive car that he just had the company buy for him. I thought that was a funny scene

[1:14:36] where Lady Gaga is waiting outside, like like the most spurned, like Staten Island Italian

[1:14:43] wife. It's it's amazing because he's so fucking mean to her and she's like trying to win him

[1:14:49] over with the fucking photo album, the pictures of their family. And she says, look what we

[1:14:54] created together. Like, oh, man, like, oh, and he's like, nope, sorry, don't care. Bye.

[1:15:01] He goes, he goes, I feel bad for you. He goes, Alexandra misses you. He goes, I saw her two

[1:15:06] weeks ago. I'll see her again next weekend. And it's like, wow. And he's like, I'm busy.

[1:15:10] Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, he is like peak evil ex-husband here. Yeah. And oh, wait, Dan,

[1:15:17] I'm looking up. Investcore is a real company. Yeah. Oh, OK. Yeah. So invest were founded

[1:15:22] in 1982, headquartered in Bahrain. So. Well, she rages about being spurned to Salma Hayek

[1:15:29] while they lie around in my baths, as we talked about before. Just, you know, spirit smearing

[1:15:36] mud on each other's faces. Not a thing that ladies do when they're like, maybe we would

[1:15:42] take mud baths together, but we wouldn't put the mud on each other like Lady Gaga. And

[1:15:49] really like menacing. So wait a minute. What would you instead? I don't know. Playful.

[1:15:54] Wouldn't you perhaps like maybe have like a pillow fight? That's kind of playful. But,

[1:15:59] you know, you have enough force that the pillows rip open and there's like, I mean,

[1:16:04] we're not talking about modern pillows that are like rubber or whatever.

[1:16:08] You know, bucks buck like buckwheat shells or something like that. Yeah. That's less fun.

[1:16:13] Less sexy for the pillow to rip open and just buckwheat holes fall everywhere. Yeah.

[1:16:18] Yeah. Well, anyway, she leaves threatening. It is. It is very funny to see them suddenly

[1:16:24] plotting while they're at the at a spa. And I was like, oh, so they took a spot. Yeah.

[1:16:27] Yeah. It's also interesting to see. Like, I think the scenes with Salma Hayek,

[1:16:34] you realize there's no women in this movie. Yeah. And this is like the most women interact

[1:16:39] with each other in this movie. And it's sort of sad that it's like she has no friends that

[1:16:45] can turn to just the psychic that she pays. There's a scene earlier in the movie where

[1:16:49] they're talking about how to handle Paolo and Lady Gaga is like, well, he's surrounded by all

[1:16:54] this masculine energy. And I'm like, you know, shit, the whole movie. Yeah. Yes. It's not House

[1:16:59] of Bechdel test. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Cool. Cool. Well, there usually isn't enough women to have

[1:17:06] a conversation between two women. So it's not even like there's a chance.

[1:17:12] Well, we see Salma Hayek and Lady Gaga in the next scene wearing black jackets and jeans,

[1:17:17] which shows that they are serious. Yeah. This is like a fucking community theater.

[1:17:23] It's so funny. They're like, we're going to go to a to a roadside dive to hire a hit man.

[1:17:28] We got to dress up like moms on their night out pretending to be bikers.

[1:17:32] Yeah. And they also argue over the cost. Lady Gaga is not going to go above 600 million lira

[1:17:39] for a hit, but they which is roughly seventy five dollars. That's a lot of money. Yeah,

[1:17:44] we we had we Googled it and I think it's like thirty five grand maybe. Oh, yeah. A lot of money.

[1:17:52] But the lira is a notoriously non-valuable currency. Yeah. And we go see Adam Driver at

[1:18:00] the fashion show with the assless pants. So this is a but and this is this is a big inflection

[1:18:07] moment in Gucci history. History. Apparently, this is when they this is the first show that

[1:18:11] Tom Ford was there, their designer. So this director Tom Ford. Yeah. Director Tom Ford.

[1:18:16] Yeah. But and this is related to Harrison Ford. No, I don't think so. Ford's fuel station in the

[1:18:24] L.A. JetBlue terminal. I don't think so. Tom Ford's involved with that, but it's the Ford

[1:18:29] Fiesta. Are they really? Well, Ford, they have Tom Ford Fiesta. I mean, the fashion show is quite

[1:18:35] a fiesta. But this again, one of those scenes where it's like this is an important moment for

[1:18:38] the history of the business, but it doesn't it doesn't really carry much because you're not

[1:18:43] that interested in the business. But I will say the reason I bring it up, Tom Ford is played by

[1:18:46] Reeve Carney, who I did see on Broadway in Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark. Oh, yeah. And

[1:18:52] the there is a moment where where Adam Driver looks over and he thinks he sees Lady Gaga standing in

[1:18:59] the corner, like in the shadows, like lit by flashbulbs, like she's a fucking Twin Peaks

[1:19:04] villain or something. Yeah. But that's just all in his mind. That's just foreshadowing of his doom.

[1:19:09] He's just haunted by it. And so and then and this is and they read they spent a long time reading a

[1:19:15] positive review of this fashion show, which, again, watching it, I was like, yeah, I guess

[1:19:19] everyone loves this. It's like a lot of guys wearing leather vests with no shirt and like,

[1:19:23] you know, kind of kind of billowy pants like, OK, I don't know what everyone loves, Elliot.

[1:19:28] You don't understand fashion. I mean, I don't understand fashion. It's very true. Yeah.

[1:19:34] So they go to the investors dinner afterwards and they're like the investors are telling

[1:19:41] Adam Driver that, like, look, all those stuff that was cheapening the brand arguably was also

[1:19:47] profitable and that profits gone now. And meanwhile, Maurizio has been spending too

[1:19:52] much on personal items. They mentioned a three million dollar watch, which is like the three

[1:19:59] million dollar.

[1:20:00] Watch the seven million dollar townhouse is like what if you even that the townhouse that's expensive

[1:20:05] But like when you know your watch is slightly less than what you paid less than half of what you paid for your building

[1:20:09] Yeah, you know, you know, you know fucking clocking heard that line. He's like

[1:20:15] I mean, is it does it a watch that travels through time because then I could see it being worth it

[1:20:19] But yeah, so they want to buy him dan. So dan wait dan. So what's the most you want for a watch dan?

[1:20:25] That's what I want to get to dan what's the most you would pay for a watch what's the most I would

[1:20:30] Really expensive

[1:20:34] Priced watch you can't be like, yeah, I want to spend like a hundred and some dollars

[1:20:39] either twenty dollars or seventeen thousand dollars the museum of

[1:20:43] The moma store the moma store has pretty good interesting watches. Okay

[1:20:48] Yeah, do that. Okay, cool. Okay

[1:20:51] Okay, we're gonna go to the store right now

[1:20:55] Okay, well

[1:20:57] Let's head over there right now and I snap my fingers and suddenly we're at the moma store

[1:21:01] And there's someone from the store showing off the watches

[1:21:03] Wait, this is that british show that like the guy just snaps his fingers and then like they change the backdrop

[1:21:08] What was that connection? I don't know this show. Oh anyway, um, let's let's please wait

[1:21:13] Let's get back to tom ford. They don't say his name at all that like dan was confused about well

[1:21:19] They they don't say it until he's reading his review

[1:21:22] So until then they're like they're like we got this young guy from texas and I was like, okay

[1:21:27] Who is this? I don't care like tell me his name. I don't know it whereas i'm sure the people

[1:21:31] It's the moment

[1:21:32] this is for the fashion fans what it was when like thanos shows up at the end of the first avengers movie where I was like

[1:21:38] Thanos so they're like someone had to whisper to their date. That's tom ford

[1:21:42] But they really waited for that payoff because you meet tom ford in a different scene

[1:21:48] And then like things happen

[1:21:53] But he's also reading his review

[1:21:56] About himself in the third person

[1:21:58] So I was still at that point confused like whether he was tom ford or whether someone else that we saw

[1:22:05] I only knew because I looked up the act like the cast and I saw

[1:22:09] yeah, but

[1:22:10] It's if ever there was a movie that that could have benefited from uh,

[1:22:14] Like the way they do in the irishman where people's names come up on screen

[1:22:17] Yeah, and they appear like this could have benefited from that point is

[1:22:21] Uh, they want to buy him out for 150 million and make the lawyer ceo, but he throws his food down the floor and walks out

[1:22:27] Uh, we return now to the beginning scenes of the movie

[1:22:30] Uh, which take their sweet time replaying considering that this movie is almost three hours long and we've already seen this footage before

[1:22:38] We get some full-on like i'm gonna live forever king of the world type bike riding from our boy adam driver

[1:22:43] Yeah, but he gets totally totally unearned on his he's just been told that his company is falling apart

[1:22:47] And they want to push him out and he's like, you know what?

[1:22:51] I would I would argue that he is he has realized that he never actually wanted

[1:22:56] To be in. Oh, maybe and that he is free again. He's riding a bike. He's living his fucking best life, baby

[1:23:03] Unfortunately, it's running out sands through the air and he's he's established himself as his own man

[1:23:08] Which he never could before before he was always his father's son. That makes sense

[1:23:12] Sadly at his moment of greatest triumph at getting bought out he gets shot

[1:23:19] uh multiple times and dies, uh, we see lady gaga write

[1:23:24] Paradiso in her journal and really shaky handwriting for reasons that i'm not quite clear on which is

[1:23:30] Which is what happened because it happened in real life because that's what patrizia reggiani reggiani did in real life. No

[1:23:36] Uh, well, she shows up crying

[1:23:38] At the house where uh her husband's mistress is and hugs her and then kicks her out of the house

[1:23:44] She gives her a hug and then she's like, okay

[1:23:47] Escort her off the property and then beautiful moment

[1:23:52] Yeah, like that's the kind of moment the movie needed so much more of is it's like the movie picks up momentum as it

[1:23:58] As it goes like a snowball rolling downhill

[1:24:00] So by this point lady gaga is doing this type of dynasty level soap opera stuff. Like we really wanted the whole movie

[1:24:06] Yeah, and she she's crying and she hugs the crying mistress and then goes escort her out of my house

[1:24:13] Yeah for for as slow as the recap first scenes were then we abruptly cut to two years later

[1:24:19] We're in court lady gaga. Pina the hitman are sent to jail. We are told uh

[1:24:25] With with text on screen. She clarifies that it's not patrizia reggiani

[1:24:30] That's patrizia gucci. Yeah

[1:24:32] Yeah, but they're all sent for from between 20 and 30 years in jail, uh, one of them gets a life sentence

[1:24:38] I can't forget which one um, probably the national shooter. Yeah

[1:24:43] aldo and

[1:24:44] palo die, uh

[1:24:46] We learn and gucci is successful under tom ford, but no more gucci's actually serve. Uh for the house of gucci

[1:24:55] I kind of hoped that when they said aldo and palo died it was going to be through some like kitchen hijinks

[1:25:03] Aldo and palo died

[1:25:06] Died trying to catch a mouse that was running loose in their apartment

[1:25:10] Turns out it really was a moose

[1:25:13] Yeah

[1:25:15] Yeah, it's they they had put out a mouse trap and then a moose came out and stomped on them

[1:25:19] Yeah hit them in the antlers. It's tragic. They say at the end says no good. There are no gucci's involved the gucci and

[1:25:24] Business like okay. There's no mcdonald's. Is that mcdonald's? Yeah

[1:25:28] I don't know what to do like they tell us how well the fucking brand is doing and i'm like

[1:25:32] I don't give a shit about that capitalism sucks

[1:25:35] Yeah

[1:25:36] Yeah, like we're supposed to be in awe like wow the gucci brand lives

[1:25:41] All that stuff happens, but gucci endures I guess there is justice in the universe, you know

[1:25:47] But it's it's but it is very it's very abrupt that how the movie has spent so much time building everything up

[1:25:52] And then it's uh, she it's like he's dead. They're on trial. Goodbye folks. That's the end of the movie

[1:25:57] They could have cut some of that like button fiddling in the sex scene and

[1:26:01] Spend a little more time at the ending or or make the sex scene longer and have lady gaga

[1:26:07] Use your stiletto heels to pop the button off of his pants. Yep. That was so good

[1:26:13] Okay. Well, let's do final judgments whether it's a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie

[1:26:17] We kind of liked I you know, i'll start off very quickly

[1:26:20] Yeah, I like this movie. Like I think that I think it was too long. I think it could have

[1:26:26] You know benefited for someone from a director who was

[1:26:30] You know not afraid of being a little sillier like I think that yeah

[1:26:35] I think that the it really needed to lean into the like murders of the rich and famous

[1:26:40] element of it like

[1:26:43] It should have been soapier and yeah, and like, you know tawdry. Yeah

[1:26:47] I will not say this very often about anything but like I feel like ryan murphy could have handled this like one of his shitty shows

[1:26:54] Like yeah, he he can hit that kind of tone, right? Yeah, I feel like yeah

[1:26:58] You wanted either like I was saying earlier

[1:27:00] You wanted either the almo dover version of it

[1:27:02] Which would be like the art trash version of it because his movies as beautiful as they are have like their sleaze elements

[1:27:07] Which they he he revels in yeah, or the ryan murphy version of it where it's just like, oh, what did she say?

[1:27:13] Can you believe that? Oh my god

[1:27:16] you know, so

[1:27:17] Yeah, I would say

[1:27:19] This is this is a rare flop house movie that i've watched twice now

[1:27:22] Uh, and i'm gonna say it's a movie I kind of like, uh, there's sequences that I really enjoy

[1:27:27] I mean, I feel like there's as i've I think i've explained like there's old sections of the movie. I don't really care about

[1:27:33] Uh, but I I do really enjoy basically anytime lady gaga's on screen

[1:27:37] I think she's great and makes the movie really fun. And of course the aldo paolo stuff's great

[1:27:44] Everyone's giving it their all it's a lot of fun

[1:27:47] Like you said I like they either needed to cut or expand selma hayek's

[1:27:52] Role in it where I understand why it's there because she's part of the murder

[1:27:58] But also it was like they would cut to these scenes and nothing happens and cut away again

[1:28:03] So if they could cut some of that out, this would be a lot more fun. Everyone was really good at it. So yeah

[1:28:10] Yeah

[1:28:12] What's the options? Yeah, you liked it. I liked it

[1:28:16] Yeah, I also liked it

[1:28:17] I I mean if this is one of the things where it's like I feel like too often we work on a uh on a

[1:28:22] binary of good movie or bad movie and

[1:28:25] This is like it's not great

[1:28:27] but it's a it's not a bad movie and it was and I enjoyed a lot of it and it was like to watch a

[1:28:31] movie where it's like

[1:28:32] Okay, like there's flaws in this and I can recognize the flaws

[1:28:35] but yeah, like

[1:28:36] The acting is the performances are great and the makeup's fantastic and there's a lot of fun scenes and like

[1:28:42] And I genuinely like the choice to take like popular songs

[1:28:47] That are like blended in like either italian versions or versions that have like italian opera elements. I think that matches with like the tone

[1:28:55] So well, I think it's going it's the tone they're going for. I feel like the opera

[1:28:59] whenever the opera started playing

[1:29:00] It was like what i'm seeing on screen is not as is not at the level that the opera is at like I want to see

[1:29:05] It being nuts like I want the idea of like of like blending american like pop culture

[1:29:11] Like trash culture with something that is like elevated in a way

[1:29:17] We saw natalie walker's cabaret show, is that what you would call it? Yeah

[1:29:22] um

[1:29:23] and one of the things she did was sing opera while

[1:29:27] Video of the real housewives were on in the background. And so there's the captions of what's happening there

[1:29:33] And she's like no look

[1:29:34] It's the same thing opera and the real housewives is the same thing and I think that's sort of what this movie was trying

[1:29:40] To do and it just needed just a little like everyone just needed to get on jared leto's level

[1:29:46] yeah, and the and the and like the the the look of the movie and the and the way it was edited and stuff like that

[1:29:51] Needed to be on like it

[1:29:53] Yeah, it needed that that the the thing that opera and real housewives have in common is like emotions at their highest pitch

[1:30:00] And like, that's what this movie needed more of.

[1:30:01] But at the same time, that doesn't make it a bad movie.

[1:30:03] It's like a solid three-star movie, you know?

[1:30:05] It's a movie that's trying to be a four-star movie,

[1:30:07] but it's a three-star movie.

[1:30:08] That's okay.

[1:30:09] But it'll probably win costuming, makeup.

[1:30:12] Yeah, makeup and face.

[1:30:12] Maybe one of the actors, depends.

[1:30:15] Yeah.

[1:30:16] It's the rare movie that makes you think, though,

[1:30:18] like, oh, I wish you could be more like Jared Leto.

[1:30:23] Very rare.

[1:30:24] Almost never happens.

[1:30:25] Wait, explain why.

[1:30:28] It almost never happens that you're like,

[1:30:29] Jared Leto, yes, do that.

[1:30:32] I want that to be what this is.

[1:30:35] I thought you were saying that it's the rare movie

[1:30:36] that makes you want to be Jared Leto.

[1:30:38] And I was like, you want to be Paolo?

[1:30:39] Like, that doesn't make any sense.

[1:30:41] He seems like he's having fun.

[1:30:41] Hey, yeah, Paolo.

[1:30:43] He died in poverty.

[1:30:44] Modest dreams.

[1:30:46] He died in poverty before the final events.

[1:30:49] This is also, this is a tiny thing.

[1:30:51] But the movie is like, in this year, the murder happened.

[1:30:54] And then text, it's like,

[1:30:55] Aldo and Paolo died in these years.

[1:30:57] And it's like, wait, but that's before,

[1:30:58] before the murder stuff happened, so.

[1:31:00] But anyway, House of Gucci.

[1:31:03] Runway, don't walkway to House of Gucci.

[1:31:06] That would be my quote if I really loved it.

[1:31:07] Terrible.

[1:31:09] You should be ashamed.

[1:31:16] You're in a theater.

[1:31:16] The lights go down.

[1:31:18] You're about to get swept up by the characters

[1:31:20] and all their little details and interpersonal dramas.

[1:31:23] You look at them and think,

[1:31:24] that person is so obviously in love with their best friend.

[1:31:27] Wait, am I in love with my best friend?

[1:31:29] That character's mom is so overbearing.

[1:31:31] Why doesn't she just stand up to her?

[1:31:32] Oh God, do I need to stand up to my own mother?

[1:31:35] If you've ever recognized yourself in a movie,

[1:31:37] then join me, Jordan Cruciola,

[1:31:38] for the podcast Feeling Seen.

[1:31:41] We've talked to author Susan Orlean

[1:31:42] on realizing her own marriage was falling apart

[1:31:44] after watching adaptation, an adaptation of her own work,

[1:31:48] and comedian Hari Kondabolu

[1:31:50] on why Harold and Kumar was a depressingly important movie

[1:31:53] for Southeast Asians.

[1:31:55] So join me every Thursday

[1:31:56] for the Feeling Seen podcast here on Maximum Fun.

[1:32:00] I'm Lisa Hanawalt.

[1:32:01] And I'm Emily Heller.

[1:32:03] Nine years ago, we started a podcast

[1:32:04] to try and learn something new every episode.

[1:32:06] Things have gone a little off the rails since then.

[1:32:09] Tune in to hear about low stakes neighborhood drama.

[1:32:12] Gardening.

[1:32:13] The sordid, nasty underbelly of the horse girl lifestyle.

[1:32:17] Hot sauce.

[1:32:18] Addiction to TV and sweaty takes on celebrity culture.

[1:32:21] And the weirdest, grossest stuff

[1:32:23] you can find on wikipedia.org.

[1:32:25] We'll read all of it, no matter how gross.

[1:32:28] There's something for everyone on our podcast,

[1:32:30] Baby Geniuses.

[1:32:31] Hosted by us, two horny adult idiots.

[1:32:33] Hang out with us as we try

[1:32:35] and fail to retain any knowledge at all.

[1:32:37] Every other week on Maximum Fun.

[1:32:43] What I have now is an ad.

[1:32:45] It's from Squarespace.

[1:32:46] Squarespace is one of our sponsors.

[1:32:49] Actually, the only one other than you,

[1:32:52] the listener, right now, for this episode.

[1:32:55] Not in general.

[1:32:56] What am I saying?

[1:32:57] I'm getting it confused.

[1:32:57] Let's start over and say that this show

[1:33:00] is sponsored in part by Squarespace.

[1:33:03] Where you can turn your cool idea into a new website,

[1:33:06] blog, or publish content.

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[1:33:33] use the offer code flop to save 10% off

[1:33:37] your first purchase of a website or domain.

[1:33:41] Now, Dan, I had an idea for a website

[1:33:43] and I was wondering if Squarespace could help me out with it.

[1:33:45] I would love to hear it.

[1:33:46] So it's a website.

[1:33:47] I was inspired by the movie.

[1:33:48] It's called mooseormouse.com.

[1:33:50] Let's say you got an animal in your house.

[1:33:52] You caught one.

[1:33:52] Is it a moose or a mouse?

[1:33:53] You don't know.

[1:33:54] Send it to us.

[1:33:55] Our team of experts will figure out

[1:33:57] whether it's a moose or a mouse

[1:33:59] and we'll give you the results within four to six months.

[1:34:01] Now what's the postage situation on this?

[1:34:03] Because, I mean, postage for a moose

[1:34:06] obviously much higher than a mouse one would.

[1:34:08] Yes, that's true.

[1:34:09] We don't, you have to pay postage.

[1:34:11] Okay.

[1:34:12] And if you want it sent back to you,

[1:34:13] you have to pay postage back to you.

[1:34:15] Otherwise we just release it into a parking lot.

[1:34:18] But what about moose the cake?

[1:34:20] Like the dessert?

[1:34:21] Do you also look into that?

[1:34:23] What about moose the character

[1:34:25] that attends Riverdale High School?

[1:34:26] From our team?

[1:34:27] These are all things you can send that to us.

[1:34:29] But Audrey, I'm very glad you mentioned moose the cake

[1:34:31] because we have a sister site, shitterchocolate.com.

[1:34:34] Just don't, but don't, you don't have to send it to us.

[1:34:37] Just send us a picture

[1:34:38] and we can usually figure it out from that.

[1:34:40] Yeah.

[1:34:41] Context clues often is good enough.

[1:34:43] Yeah.

[1:34:44] So there's a real Japanese show

[1:34:46] where people take bites out of things

[1:34:49] and it could be chocolate or it could be the real thing.

[1:34:52] So it's like, they'll put a shoe in front of you.

[1:34:55] The real thing?

[1:34:57] The Faith No More albums?

[1:35:00] So it's like chocolate

[1:35:01] or it's like a chocolate shoe or a real shoe.

[1:35:03] Yeah.

[1:35:04] So they'll just shove something in your face.

[1:35:06] You just leap of faith, take a bite.

[1:35:09] And you're like, oh, okay, whoo, that was chocolate.

[1:35:11] Or sometimes, oh, that was leather from a shoe.

[1:35:14] I don't think, I don't, sorry.

[1:35:16] This is a-

[1:35:17] From what I recall,

[1:35:18] I don't think they just shove things in your face

[1:35:20] and they're like, take a bite.

[1:35:21] I think you're like, if I remember the clip we watched-

[1:35:23] Well, there was one that was a table.

[1:35:25] So then you get down to the table's leg and you bite it.

[1:35:29] Like they don't bring the table to you.

[1:35:31] Well, no, but you have to figure out

[1:35:33] what in the room you're gonna bite.

[1:35:34] And then you're like, oh, I hope it's chocolate.

[1:35:37] I don't know.

[1:35:38] It was in Japanese.

[1:35:39] So I couldn't tell if that's the rules of the game.

[1:35:41] Yeah.

[1:35:42] And I'd also like to remind listeners

[1:35:45] that we have not a sponsor for the show exactly,

[1:35:46] but a thing that I did that is available for sale.

[1:35:49] That's right.

[1:35:50] The Maniac of New York, the Bronx is Burning,

[1:35:52] my new Maniac of New York series from Aftershock Comics.

[1:35:54] Number two, issue number two,

[1:35:56] should be on comic book store shelves

[1:35:57] as you listen to this episode.

[1:35:59] So that's the new series, Maniac of New York,

[1:36:01] the Bronx is Burning.

[1:36:03] Please buy them.

[1:36:04] And if you like them and you buy them,

[1:36:05] then maybe I'll hopefully get to do more of them.

[1:36:07] So go to your local comic book store

[1:36:10] and tell them, make my Maniac of New York,

[1:36:13] the Bronx is Burning.

[1:36:15] Yeah.

[1:36:15] Thanks for adding the extra words at the end.

[1:36:17] Cause it might confuse them if you just said the first part.

[1:36:20] Yeah.

[1:36:21] Then they'll give you a 4K Blu-ray copy of Maniac,

[1:36:25] the remake starring Elijah Wood.

[1:36:27] Wow.

[1:36:28] Not the William Lustig film.

[1:36:30] Everyone loves Elijah Wood.

[1:36:31] Everyone loves Elijah Wood, says Audrey.

[1:36:35] E-L, cool, E-J, E-W.

[1:36:37] Everyone loves cool Elijah Wood.

[1:36:40] Hey, this letter is from a listener.

[1:36:44] And the listener is called Tyler Last Name Withheld.

[1:36:47] Hi.

[1:36:48] Perry?

[1:36:49] Who writes,

[1:36:50] after quitting on Fear of the Walking Dead

[1:36:52] after its first season,

[1:36:54] I was recently surprised to find out

[1:36:56] that one of its most recent seasons

[1:36:58] featured a doomsday cult nuking Texas.

[1:37:02] What are some examples you've had

[1:37:03] of being temporarily detached from an ongoing media

[1:37:06] and being baffled by how wild a shift it underwent?

[1:37:11] Thanks, Tyler Last Name Withheld.

[1:37:13] I gotta be honest,

[1:37:15] I couldn't think of a situation

[1:37:17] where I dipped out and dipped back in,

[1:37:19] because usually if I dip out, I'm out.

[1:37:23] But I will say that the example I think of,

[1:37:29] I thought of for this was Angel,

[1:37:31] where in the last season-

[1:37:34] Student by day, stripper by night?

[1:37:36] Spoiler alert for the show, Angel, don't-

[1:37:39] They made a show about that, Elliot?

[1:37:41] Yeah, I guess so.

[1:37:43] Dan's talking about it.

[1:37:44] In the last season, they're put in charge

[1:37:47] of what was previously their largest enemies

[1:37:51] in the idea that they could change it from the inside,

[1:37:56] which was a big shift in what the show was.

[1:37:59] And honestly, I thought that that last season

[1:38:02] finally found its footing before then going off the air.

[1:38:06] But do you guys have thoughts about it?

[1:38:08] Yeah, I mean, this is kind of a tough question.

[1:38:11] I can think of plenty examples

[1:38:13] where I took time away from a media that I really liked.

[1:38:18] And then when I went back to it,

[1:38:20] I had changed in some way.

[1:38:22] Like, I mean, I hate to say it,

[1:38:24] but I love the Venture Brothers.

[1:38:27] But when I came back to it after a long break,

[1:38:30] I realized I'm like, this just isn't for me anymore.

[1:38:32] Like, this is, for whatever reason,

[1:38:35] I don't know if it's,

[1:38:37] I don't think it's any different than it originally was.

[1:38:39] I'm just, I'm just a different Stewart now.

[1:38:40] This is not my cup of worms.

[1:38:44] Or like something where-

[1:38:46] Do you, I mean, a cup of worms

[1:38:47] is something you would normally like,

[1:38:48] but if it's under the right circumstances?

[1:38:50] Gummy worms, duh.

[1:38:52] Okay, fair point, fair point.

[1:38:55] Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

[1:38:56] I'm surprised you didn't just assume that.

[1:38:58] Or something where, like, I started a show

[1:39:01] and then I put it down because,

[1:39:03] like something like, I remember I started You

[1:39:06] and I watched the first season.

[1:39:07] I started the second season.

[1:39:08] I'm like, uh, I'll take some time away from this

[1:39:12] because I had ingested so much at once

[1:39:14] and I wasn't really vibing.

[1:39:16] And then when I came back, you know, like a year later,

[1:39:18] I was like, oh wait, I really like,

[1:39:20] I like this more than the first season.

[1:39:23] Dan loved that second season so much.

[1:39:26] He was texting me.

[1:39:27] I remember he was not at home.

[1:39:28] He was texting me the ending of it.

[1:39:30] I never watched the show.

[1:39:31] And he's like, you won't believe what happened.

[1:39:33] This is, this show is wild.

[1:39:35] I will make it clear that I, you know,

[1:39:37] I made sure that Audrey was not gonna watch the show.

[1:39:41] Wow, you are saving yourself

[1:39:43] and taking some serious anti-spoilers heat from people.

[1:39:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:39:48] I had that experience, not exactly the same experience,

[1:39:51] but a little bit with where the X-Men comics are right now.

[1:39:54] That's, I've been, I realized recently

[1:39:56] that I've been reading,

[1:39:57] I've been following Marvel comics characters for.

[1:40:00] 30 years, which is ridiculous.

[1:40:02] It's not something anyone should do,

[1:40:03] but I've been doing that, and I took a little bit of break

[1:40:06] from the X-Men family books, and then there was a big

[1:40:09] kind of reboot of them, or not reboot,

[1:40:11] but a change of the way they work and everything like that,

[1:40:14] and it's ongoing now still, and there's a lot of fans for it

[1:40:18] but it's just not to my taste, and all the characters

[1:40:21] are acting not in the way that I am used to them acting.

[1:40:24] And so it's like, there was this big status quo shift

[1:40:26] in the comics where I can't quite wrap my mind around

[1:40:30] these characters doing these things now,

[1:40:32] but at this point, it's been the status quo in the X-Men

[1:40:34] for over a year, so it's not like,

[1:40:36] so at this point, I'm the one who's out of step with it.

[1:40:39] Give me a tasty example, because I probably checked out

[1:40:43] on X-Men at a similar time.

[1:40:45] So the big storyline now is that the X-Men

[1:40:48] have started their own country, which they've done before,

[1:40:50] but now they're really doing it.

[1:40:52] They've started their own country,

[1:40:53] only mutants are allowed to be there,

[1:40:55] it's a mutant paradise, which the comics represent

[1:40:57] as it being a place where people are constantly

[1:40:59] just drinking, and all they do is dance and drink

[1:41:02] all the time, and nothing else goes on there.

[1:41:04] Is that not paradise?

[1:41:05] Well, I mean, there's gotta be some,

[1:41:07] I mean, part of the problem is that the characters

[1:41:10] do nothing recreationally except drink,

[1:41:11] so there's nothing going on on the island but drinking.

[1:41:14] But they've decided that instead of living in the shadows,

[1:41:17] they are now going to become the most powerful nation

[1:41:19] on Earth and kind of push all the other nations around,

[1:41:22] and they made a big show of taking Mars

[1:41:24] and saying, this is ours now, it's our planet,

[1:41:26] we're colonizing it, and it just feels like

[1:41:30] it's a different morality than the comics I'm used to,

[1:41:33] where in the traditional X-Men comics,

[1:41:34] we're like, we gotta figure out a way to live together,

[1:41:37] humans and mutants, and this morality is,

[1:41:40] we've been pushed around long enough,

[1:41:41] it's time to start pushing the rest of the world around.

[1:41:44] And it's very separatist as opposed to integrationist.

[1:41:48] And it's just, and characters are going along

[1:41:51] with this plan that, it seems unrealistic to me,

[1:41:55] that their personalities would,

[1:41:57] but maybe I'm just out of touch,

[1:41:59] and we live in more confrontational times,

[1:42:01] and the old soft liberalism has given way

[1:42:05] to the hard-edged liberalism of today.

[1:42:08] So I don't know, I can't figure it out,

[1:42:10] but eventually it'll be rebooted

[1:42:11] and they'll be back to being in a school

[1:42:13] and going into space every now and then, so, you know.

[1:42:17] This-

[1:42:17] Oh, I have an answer.

[1:42:18] Oh, sorry.

[1:42:19] Yeah, I'm bringing Audrey into the question.

[1:42:21] I actually have multiple answers.

[1:42:22] Wow, wow, wow, wow.

[1:42:24] You know, Audrey always asks me what the questions are

[1:42:27] for the podcast, and I think gives them

[1:42:31] significantly more thought than I do.

[1:42:33] Yeah, Dan, there's just one word I can say

[1:42:34] to the way you treated Audrey, and that's wow.

[1:42:36] Let me say it backwards, wow.

[1:42:37] Let me say it upside down, mom.

[1:42:39] Anyway, Audrey, continue.

[1:42:41] The three examples I can think of

[1:42:45] start off more conventional,

[1:42:48] and I think at some point they realize,

[1:42:50] oh, we could go weird with this.

[1:42:52] So, number one, Archer, which they've gone

[1:42:55] through so many stories that they're like,

[1:42:56] let's take this, what was it, like a country,

[1:42:59] like southern thing, and then there's a noir one.

[1:43:04] There's a noir one in the 40s.

[1:43:06] Okay, now it's like an 80s drug-running thing.

[1:43:10] Now they're in outer space,

[1:43:11] and now it's like an Indiana Jones-type thing,

[1:43:13] and they definitely lost me through those,

[1:43:15] because it was like, am I gonna watch a whole season

[1:43:17] of what kind of feels like fan fiction

[1:43:19] about these characters?

[1:43:21] So there's that.

[1:43:22] I mean, community's a big one.

[1:43:23] That's not even one of the things.

[1:43:25] Oh, yeah, well, I mean, that was just like,

[1:43:27] they just turned over basically the entire cast by the end.

[1:43:30] Well, like, so the two other ones

[1:43:33] are Search Party and AP Bio,

[1:43:35] so Search Party's first season was really

[1:43:38] a little more straightforward in the,

[1:43:40] like, this group of friends trying to find their friend

[1:43:44] and those adventures that they have while doing it,

[1:43:48] and then it just kept turning into a different thing,

[1:43:51] and it's all equally good.

[1:43:53] Do you watch Search Party, or?

[1:43:55] I watched, I think I'm like halfway

[1:43:58] through the second season, yeah.

[1:43:59] It just, like, drastically changes what it is.

[1:44:02] We're partway into the fifth season,

[1:44:04] and it's almost in, like, science fiction territory now.

[1:44:07] I should give it another try.

[1:44:08] I watched the first episode of the first season,

[1:44:10] and I found the characters so unpleasant to spend time with.

[1:44:13] Oh, you will, but like-

[1:44:13] They're very unpleasant.

[1:44:15] Over time, you'll kind of learn to, I don't know,

[1:44:18] appreciate their unpleasantness.

[1:44:20] I can also choose not to spend my time

[1:44:22] getting to know unpleasant characters.

[1:44:23] Yeah, but it's a good show.

[1:44:24] The same way, anytime someone's like,

[1:44:26] start this new show, it starts out rough,

[1:44:29] but by the end of the first season, it's great,

[1:44:30] and I'm like, so you're telling me

[1:44:31] I have to spend 11 hours, 12 hours?

[1:44:33] Well, you can do what you want.

[1:44:35] I both get it, like, in that there's some characters

[1:44:37] that I'm like, I just can't spend time with you,

[1:44:39] but also, like, I don't look to fiction

[1:44:42] for, like, people that I necessarily

[1:44:44] want to spend time with.

[1:44:46] No, I mean, there are many shows

[1:44:47] where there are unpleasant characters.

[1:44:48] I mean, like, I love Mad Men.

[1:44:49] Most of those characters are assholes.

[1:44:51] But that perfectly maps onto your ethical

[1:44:53] and moral fucking standards, Elliot.

[1:44:56] Mad Men.

[1:44:56] Mad Men, yeah, that's the thing.

[1:44:58] Yeah, because anyway, what happened to men

[1:45:00] that were not allowed to be, like, men anymore?

[1:45:03] Anyway, but they, but, uh.

[1:45:05] Is that what Mad Men's about?

[1:45:07] Yeah, well, it's kind of not about that,

[1:45:09] but the, when I'm saying that they were unpleasant,

[1:45:13] like, I only want to watch things with characters I like,

[1:45:15] it was more like, these characters were not,

[1:45:17] it was not, it was not, it would be,

[1:45:19] I didn't get to the point where I was like,

[1:45:21] these characters are intriguingly unpleasant to me,

[1:45:23] you know, or the same way that, like,

[1:45:25] that show Forever that came out with

[1:45:27] my Rudolph and Fred Armisen from a few years ago,

[1:45:31] where I was like, where I was like,

[1:45:33] show, I do not want to spend any,

[1:45:35] like, I do not like these people,

[1:45:36] and this show is not intriguing me into figuring out why.

[1:45:39] Like, as opposed to something like,

[1:45:42] like, I don't know, any number of other shows

[1:45:46] where it's an unpleasant character,

[1:45:47] but you're like, oh, but this show has really grabbed me.

[1:45:49] But I think it's more a matter of personal taste.

[1:45:52] So, take it or leave it.

[1:45:53] I'm not saying it's a bad show,

[1:45:54] nor am I saying that nobody else should watch it.

[1:45:57] Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't try to convince you

[1:45:59] to do something you don't want to do.

[1:46:01] I do think that there are certain shows,

[1:46:05] it's hard to find a show where they,

[1:46:06] like, they can take it to somewhere that's so different.

[1:46:10] Yeah.

[1:46:11] That, like, just the idea

[1:46:13] that you could start with something

[1:46:14] and just keep shifting it in this way

[1:46:16] that they're letting them do is interesting.

[1:46:19] But, I mean, don't watch it if you don't want to.

[1:46:21] I know, I mean, I should also mention,

[1:46:23] part of the issue is that, unlike you guys,

[1:46:26] I live in a world where I have roughly a half hour

[1:46:29] at the end of every day that is my entertainment time

[1:46:33] for grownups, between putting a child to bed

[1:46:35] and then finishing my chores before going to bed myself.

[1:46:38] We all make choices, dude.

[1:46:38] I didn't tell you to have kids.

[1:46:40] No, that's true.

[1:46:41] This is, no, I mean, I am in a world

[1:46:43] entirely of my own choosing.

[1:46:44] It's one of those things where it's like-

[1:46:45] Sam doesn't even like it.

[1:46:47] But I remember-

[1:46:47] I love Stuart's resolute refusal

[1:46:50] to give you any sympathy for him.

[1:46:52] You make your own page, dude.

[1:46:54] But it reminds me of when the Wet Hot American Summer Show

[1:46:59] came out and my friends who, at the time,

[1:47:01] did not have a child yet were like,

[1:47:02] we just had to sit down and watch the whole series

[1:47:04] over a weekend.

[1:47:05] We just couldn't, basically in one sitting.

[1:47:07] And I was like, well, I don't have that option.

[1:47:10] I know I've removed, that door is one that I closed myself.

[1:47:12] No one closed it for me, but the door is closed, you know?

[1:47:17] Yeah.

[1:47:17] And the last one is AP Bio,

[1:47:19] which started out as more of a-

[1:47:21] Traditional sitcom.

[1:47:22] Yeah, traditional sitcom.

[1:47:23] And I think it moved to Peacock and they realized,

[1:47:27] oh, we can do whatever we want.

[1:47:29] And it really is just like an experiment

[1:47:31] in what a sitcom could be.

[1:47:34] Like, I think one episode is just,

[1:47:37] what are those called when it's like, previously on?

[1:47:40] Oh, yeah, I think they just usually call them-

[1:47:42] The recaps.

[1:47:43] Yeah, and they just kept using recaps

[1:47:45] throughout the whole show for, you know, 20 minutes.

[1:47:48] That sounds great.

[1:47:49] So it's like, memento the show.

[1:47:51] Yeah.

[1:47:53] I forgot to, wait, I forgot to mention one thing

[1:47:55] about that X-Men series I wanted to mention,

[1:47:57] is that they've also, part of the society

[1:47:59] they've created on this X-Men island

[1:48:00] is that everyone can be brought back to life.

[1:48:02] No one dies forever.

[1:48:04] But if you, all these mutants have lost their powers,

[1:48:08] and if they want their powers back,

[1:48:10] they have to be murdered in a gladiator arena

[1:48:12] by one of the X-Men so that they can be reborn.

[1:48:15] Isn't this just Dragon Ball Z?

[1:48:16] What?

[1:48:17] Maybe, but there's part of me that's like,

[1:48:19] I kind of can't buy a world where the heroes

[1:48:21] have to murder people in order to reward them

[1:48:23] with getting their powers back.

[1:48:25] So X-Men has passed me by.

[1:48:26] I'm too soft.

[1:48:27] I'm too old and soft.

[1:48:28] If they want their powers back,

[1:48:30] they have to open the powers booth and step inside.

[1:48:33] I mean, if only.

[1:48:36] And it's like an old-fashioned police box.

[1:48:39] No, it looks like a powers booth.

[1:48:42] But with Powers Booth's face on the top, Stuart.

[1:48:45] That's what I'm saying.

[1:48:45] It's a booth with Powers Booth's face on it, yeah.

[1:48:47] Okay, fine.

[1:48:48] You get the virtual credit.

[1:48:50] This is-

[1:48:52] Everyone, Stuart's really bobbing his head back and forth,

[1:48:55] like, fine.

[1:48:57] All out, I guess.

[1:48:58] Yeah, real bobblehead.

[1:49:00] This is from Amelia Last Day Withheld,

[1:49:03] who writes, dear peaches-

[1:49:04] Bedelia, Amelia?

[1:49:05] It has to be.

[1:49:06] Could be Amelia Bedelia.

[1:49:07] It has to be Bedelia.

[1:49:09] I'm assuming Amelia heard that for the first time ever

[1:49:12] just now on the podcast.

[1:49:15] Recently, we discovered three wasp nests inside our chimney.

[1:49:20] We found this out when dozens of wasps

[1:49:22] started pouring out of the fireplace one afternoon.

[1:49:25] Like, that's horrible.

[1:49:26] Wait, are they sure it wasn't that a mummy

[1:49:28] had been awoken somewhere in the house?

[1:49:30] It could be.

[1:49:31] Well, as the rest of the family screamed

[1:49:33] and proceeded to make human-shaped holes in our walls,

[1:49:36] I began the job of getting the wasps out of the house

[1:49:39] and taping mosquito netting over the fireplace.

[1:49:42] The whole time I was swatting angry insects out of my way,

[1:49:44] I kept thinking, wow, Candyman is scary.

[1:49:47] I hope the new movie captures this intense,

[1:49:50] horrifying confusion of swarming bees

[1:49:52] coming at you from nowhere, which made me think,

[1:49:56] have the Flopsters ever lived through a moment

[1:49:58] that was straight out of a movie?

[1:50:00] Or has something ever happened that was so perfectly timed slash orchestrated that you swore a director had set it up

[1:50:08] Amelia

[1:50:11] I'm gonna credit Amelia for being so not like Amelia Bedelia who would have totally screwed up that situation

[1:50:16] Yeah, and this Amelia was on top of it. Good night. That's really fast thinking and she's like I applaud you

[1:50:21] Yeah, I got a SWAT the wasps Amelia Bedelia calls the SWAT team in

[1:50:26] Oh Amelia Bedelia our our bullets were of no use against these wasps. Yes

[1:50:32] She calls the SWAT team on a mainline Protestant Church in Connecticut

[1:50:40] Yeah, I

[1:50:43] Mean I've had my own run-ins with stinging insects if you listen back to an early mini where I

[1:50:50] was trying to get firewood and I was kicking a log and all of a sudden beer bees poured out and

[1:50:56] If only beers for it poured out

[1:51:01] Spuds McKenzie showed up. It was just like a movie

[1:51:03] I

[1:51:25] Think I've talked to the podcast before about a time when my family we went on a trip

[1:51:29] We visited when we were visiting my family in New Jersey

[1:51:32] but then I had to leave my family with my

[1:51:34] parents so that I could go work for the weekend in Atlanta on a pilot for a show and

[1:51:39] while I was away my family had this big reunion where like my sister's family from London was there and

[1:51:45] my mom and dad who don't always get along were on like the best behavior and I missed this amazing family reunion and on the

[1:51:51] Way back from the airport when I was coming back to pick them up

[1:51:53] So we go back to LA cats in the cradle started started playing and it was like to come on life

[1:51:59] This is too on the nose like a scene in them in a movie

[1:52:01] You know that that's what we'll be playing while I'm missing out on a great family event. Oh

[1:52:06] You're looking at me. I mean I look I don't want to get too

[1:52:11] sappy or too detailed but because Audrey's on the

[1:52:15] podcast

[1:52:19] No, the the fact that like we're gonna talk about a story you don't want her to hear

[1:52:26] Very bad things

[1:52:29] So anyway that happened to us we went out on a couple of dates and I foolishly was like not for me

[1:52:35] but we were still

[1:52:37] friends and we became ever closer friends to a point that like I just kind of

[1:52:43] I

[1:52:44] Almost had to look math inside my head to realize that I'd fallen over her because I'm dumb and then by that time

[1:52:50] He had almost moved on and I had to make a big declaration of love and etc. I remember you

[1:52:56] Telling me at a another person's bachelor party while I was totally fucking hammered about this

[1:53:02] That you were in fact in love with Audrey and I put my head on the bar and my hair caught fire. Yeah

[1:53:14] Own head, you know. Yeah. Well, yeah, I remember Stuart was I was like talking to him about it

[1:53:18] He's like, oh that explains why my hair smelled in the shower this morning. Yeah, he had forgotten that he had

[1:53:24] But and then you had to run to the airport to get to her before she flew off to get another job, right

[1:53:30] I'm getting at it felt like a much more romantic comedy

[1:53:34] progression of

[1:53:35] Things than I had ever experienced. Yeah, you should have seen when we were at Cats Deli. It was a real

[1:53:47] Then fake such an orgasm the place was a mess

[1:53:51] I

[1:53:53] Spraying mayonnaise everywhere

[1:53:56] He had like a ketchup bottle full of a

[1:54:09] He was like look you need a lot you need a wider nozzle to get so it doesn't clog with mayonnaise

[1:54:13] So I had to get this made this

[1:54:15] Yours looks like mayonnaise. Mine's more like a cottage cheese

[1:54:20] Oh

[1:54:23] Audrey you had one though. I do have one where wait I had many which one's the least bad

[1:54:34] There was there was one time where I ran into somebody I did not want to run into

[1:54:40] It was boy troubles. It was a love triangle of sorts and she

[1:54:46] Messaged me up really a lot and it was very traumatic. Anyways, I never thought I'd see her in person

[1:54:53] I just saw her profile picture and then we were in a Sephora the one in Soho

[1:54:58] uh-huh, and I saw like we could see each other and we spoke to each other and like I was like

[1:55:04] Saying something like oh is is that brand good or whatever you say at a Sephora?

[1:55:09] Yeah, and she's like it's you and I said, yeah, it's you too

[1:55:14] and we had this conversation and I was dating the guy at the time not it was yours and

[1:55:23] And it was really like your heart rate goes up and you know

[1:55:27] like I walked out of there and I was in the strange mood of like

[1:55:31] being very shaken and so I walked down so that's that's and so I walked down to Prince Street in front of the

[1:55:38] Place where there's like vendors set up and I'm still shaken and this woman is selling jewelry

[1:55:46] And she's like she had a very soft voice and she was like, oh touch whichever one you want. This is before kovat

[1:55:52] well way before

[1:55:53] Kovat obviously and

[1:55:55] She's like each one has a story and a meaning it's like like that one that you're touching

[1:56:00] It attracts the spiral in it attracts good energy to you

[1:56:05] I'm like, which one's the one where you want to keep all the bad energy. Yeah, I didn't make any of those yet

[1:56:11] But you know, that's a good idea. Maybe I should and then boom a

[1:56:15] Pigeon drops in front of us. It just like died in front of us and I'm like, oh my god and

[1:56:22] We were freaking out cuz a bird just like dropped in front of us. I'm like, oh my god. I killed a bird with my bad

[1:56:27] energy

[1:56:28] It's like I can't believe I did this like I don't believe in this kind of stuff

[1:56:32] but you know if you're at a height and sure and

[1:56:36] She was calming me down and the the person at the next stall was like it's okay and then put him in a box and then

[1:56:43] The woman's calming me down. It's like it's fine. You know, it's fine. It's like yeah, it's fine. It's fine

[1:56:47] And I calmed down and then the bird

[1:56:57] Can our podcast be about this instead I just want

[1:57:02] a hundred dollars worth of jewelry

[1:57:04] So...

[1:57:06] You had to at that moment

[1:57:08] Yeah, they're like the bird trick works

[1:57:10] We pulled off the bird scan

[1:57:12] When the bird comes home they're like I hope nobody saw me come back

[1:57:14] Yeah

[1:57:16] Well

[1:57:18] The bird shows up for it's cut

[1:57:20] I'm out there

[1:57:22] Fighting for my life

[1:57:24] It hurts to keep dropping like that

[1:57:26] You don't understand

[1:57:28] I can't do this for much longer

[1:57:30] The doctor said I gotta stop

[1:57:32] Wait wait just one big score

[1:57:34] There's another unhappy woman walking down the street

[1:57:36] Well

[1:57:38] We can't do better than that

[1:57:40] So let's move on to our last segment of the show

[1:57:42] Recommendations

[1:57:44] This is where we recommend a movie that we saw

[1:57:46] That we liked

[1:57:48] I don't know I feel like

[1:57:50] I fear I may have

[1:57:52] I don't know are you going to recommend the French Dispatch Elliot?

[1:57:54] Based on what you said before

[1:57:56] I am going to recommend the French Dispatch

[1:57:58] Oh you guys that's so cute

[1:58:00] Yeah

[1:58:02] I was going to and I was going to start by saying

[1:58:04] This is going to make some people angry

[1:58:06] That I'm recommending the French Dispatch

[1:58:08] Because I know he doesn't like Wes Anderson at all

[1:58:10] Makes him so mad

[1:58:12] Why don't you like a beautiful aesthetic

[1:58:14] I just

[1:58:16] I don't connect with his movies emotionally

[1:58:18] That's it

[1:58:20] I think that's totally cool

[1:58:22] But what if all the captions were in that metal font

[1:58:24] I changed my mind

[1:58:26] His style is so

[1:58:28] At this point has gotten so ridiculously

[1:58:30] Distinctive of himself

[1:58:32] That if you don't like it

[1:58:34] Don't bother

[1:58:36] But at the same time

[1:58:38] I'm a big fan of his stuff

[1:58:40] Not his animation stuff

[1:58:42] That's what I don't understand when people go out of their way

[1:58:44] To like bad mouth Wes Anderson

[1:58:46] I'm like at this late date

[1:58:48] Do you not know what you're going to get from this movie

[1:58:50] And it's so easy to avoid

[1:58:52] It's not like

[1:58:54] You're a big comic book fan

[1:58:56] And you feel like you've got to go see all the DC movies

[1:58:58] So you can be in on the conversation

[1:59:00] Just don't go see them

[1:59:02] You're like oh man

[1:59:04] Spider-Man got pushed out of the IMAX theaters

[1:59:06] Because of the French Dispatch

[1:59:08] Yeah exactly

[1:59:10] I don't get mad at Stewart for not liking it

[1:59:12] Because I can totally see why someone would not like it

[1:59:14] But he does me the courtesy

[1:59:16] Of not bringing it up all the time

[1:59:18] Although now he's got a gleam in his eye

[1:59:20] Like he's going to

[1:59:22] I'm in goblin mode

[1:59:24] But since we're both recommending it Dan

[1:59:26] You do talk a little bit about it

[1:59:28] Then if I have anything else to add

[1:59:30] I'll talk very quickly

[1:59:32] This all being said

[1:59:34] There were moments early on where I was afraid

[1:59:36] Is this going to be the world's most

[1:59:38] Specific and esoteric

[1:59:40] Sketch comedy movie

[1:59:42] Because it did have that

[1:59:44] Very wry

[1:59:46] Sketch comedy vibe

[1:59:48] The fact that it's explicitly

[1:59:50] It's a movie

[1:59:52] Version of a fake magazine

[1:59:54] And that magazine is a copy of the New Yorker

[1:59:56] With a little bit of Paris Review thrown in

[2:00:00] at you're like this is a movie for a very specific audience.

[2:00:03] Yeah. This is a movie that's reliant on knowledge of a

[2:00:06] magazine, you know. Yeah. So, but fortunately, I am a member

[2:00:11] of that specific audience like you know it is one of those

[2:00:13] movies where I'm like well, I'm glad that someone's making this

[2:00:16] movie because it feels specifically for me in a way

[2:00:21] that like these that it normally wouldn't get made like

[2:00:26] it is such a specific vision that like I'm glad to see it

[2:00:29] and my biggest problem with it like I would be suggested by

[2:00:33] the sketch comedy remark is that like I did think like oh

[2:00:36] am I not gonna emotionally connect with this one in the

[2:00:40] way that like you know you often find trouble with it but

[2:00:44] like as kind of goofy as all of the stories are in certain

[2:00:49] ways. I think that the the thing that the movie does well

[2:00:53] is that by the end of each segment, you are emotionally

[2:00:57] engaged. There is some sort of catharsis. There's some sort of

[2:01:00] like bigger thing that's being sort of gotten at even though

[2:01:06] it is kind of beautifully unclear in certain cases what

[2:01:10] exactly it is like but not in a way that feels like a mistake

[2:01:15] in a way that feels like it it it it leaves open possibilities

[2:01:18] and and I think that as it goes on each successive story, I

[2:01:22] found more moving, but what were you gonna say Elliot? No

[2:01:25] no, I agree. I think that it's it's like it does feel at times

[2:01:29] like it is a Wes Anderson sketch movie, but it also feels

[2:01:32] in the same way like you are reading. It's like one of the

[2:01:36] a book that I love is Maurice Sundeck's Nutshell Library,

[2:01:40] which is just for little picture books and this feels a

[2:01:42] little bit like Wes Anderson's version of that where it's like

[2:01:45] here's some miniature Wes Anderson movies and they have

[2:01:48] the strengths of Wes Anderson movies and they have the

[2:01:49] weaknesses of Wes Anderson movies like he's still every

[2:01:52] every story for the most part, except the one of them comes

[2:01:56] that comes at it from the point of view of a some sort of like

[2:02:01] like artistically sensitive man who needs a woman to support

[2:02:05] him without question basically in a way that is not always

[2:02:09] that doesn't always sit well with me, but at the same time

[2:02:12] like the I feel like he's gotten to the point where the

[2:02:15] complaint you always see in reviews about him is his movies

[2:02:18] feel so precisely constructed like it's like you're looking

[2:02:21] in a little dollhouse rather than a real world and he has so

[2:02:24] fully embrace that in this movie where it is at such a high

[2:02:27] level of aesthetic artificiality that I really like a lot to the

[2:02:31] point where there are these he is digging into into real

[2:02:36] emotions, but in a way that is like brought it put across in

[2:02:40] this very like not not realistic artificial way that

[2:02:44] while I was watching, I was like he's basically he and Guy

[2:02:47] Madden are converging at certain points, which is

[2:02:49] something I never expected before and so I also just love

[2:02:54] like he'll construct an entire room with a ton of weird

[2:02:58] details and like a ton of people doing things and you'll

[2:03:00] see it on the screen for 4 seconds and it's like wow they

[2:03:04] put a lot of they put a lot of work into every single moment

[2:03:06] of this movie and it's at the same time. It's also a movie

[2:03:09] that is not afraid to get silly enough that there's a police

[2:03:12] chase that involves like a strong man dressed like a

[2:03:15] strong man whose entire job seems to be to cling to the

[2:03:18] hood of a car and then and not let go for the for the entirety

[2:03:22] of a car chase. So II really enjoyed it, but it's like you're

[2:03:26] watching like the apotheosis of Wes Anderson. It's like it

[2:03:28] doesn't get more Wes Anderson than this. Audrey. What did you

[2:03:31] want to say about it? Did you do you think that it would be

[2:03:34] seen as more successful if it was given a buster scrubs

[2:03:38] treatment where it's a Netflix thing where it's meant to be

[2:03:43] short stories? I don't know cuz it's very explicitly like

[2:03:48] you're looking at a movie version of a magazine and it's

[2:03:50] this story and then this story. I think that it's I think

[2:03:53] there's a Wes Anderson has just reached a point with his way of

[2:03:56] doing things that you either like it or you don't like it.

[2:03:58] you know and I think if you wanted to get someone into Wes

[2:04:01] Anderson movies, this would be the last one to show them

[2:04:03] because because it's like do you want to see it? It was like

[2:04:07] and he's he's still he's not a young man, but he's young to be

[2:04:10] doing this. They're like it felt like there are a lot.

[2:04:13] There's a tradition of directors getting to a point

[2:04:15] where they start doing kind of omnibus films where you have

[2:04:18] like Fellini doing Roma or Akira Kurosawa doing dreams where

[2:04:23] it's like I'm going to explore my interests and my style in

[2:04:28] ways that doing one story in a movie can't really afford me.

[2:04:32] I'm going to take as many opportunities as I can and this

[2:04:33] is him doing that where it's like yeah. I don't I'm going to

[2:04:36] do like a bunch of different little things and they're each

[2:04:38] going to be in my style, but I'm going to be doing different

[2:04:40] things with that style and I'm going to let it just go out as

[2:04:44] far as I can go with it and I and we watch it at home with

[2:04:47] like with dread because I kept people kept telling me this is

[2:04:51] the movie where Wes Anderson where no one said no to him and

[2:04:54] it went to and he just didn't know what to do and the whole

[2:04:56] time watching. I'm like I'm really enjoying this. Am I wrong

[2:04:58] for enjoying this that I'm like that I'm like really enjoying

[2:05:00] it. You know I thought you meant that you did it as like a

[2:05:03] double feature with the movie dread and I'm like this is

[2:05:05] watching judge dread. Yeah. I know we watched it with dread

[2:05:09] because I was like, but the thing is which one do I watch

[2:05:12] first, which which is the proper set up for the other? No

[2:05:15] yeah and because also like we were watching dread in 3D and

[2:05:19] West French Dispatch is not in 3D, but but the also. I don't

[2:05:24] know. I really I really liked it, but it was me seeing an

[2:05:27] artist. I like exploring what he's doing pushing what he's

[2:05:30] doing as far as he can go and there are a number of really

[2:05:33] silly jokes in it. So Audrey, why don't you go next? The

[2:05:38] movie I'm recommending is an Italian movie based on a true

[2:05:43] story. Based on a novel of a true story and it is Italy in

[2:05:51] the 1970s. Hold on a second that Dan's alarm just went off

[2:05:55] while Audrey was speaking. Dan that is the height of of male

[2:06:00] aggression. I'm terrible. I think it's to remind me to take

[2:06:03] a pill. You're like I needed a reminder to interrupt Audrey.

[2:06:08] I didn't know we were gonna go this long. Anyway, it's

[2:06:11] amazing. He timed it so perfectly. Yeah. It's called

[2:06:16] I'm not scared and it's about children playing in rural Italy

[2:06:25] and they find one of them finds that there's another child

[2:06:28] hidden away that I guess the parents kidnapped and it's a

[2:06:34] it's a pretty dark story, but it's told through the eyes of

[2:06:37] the kids and so there's a little bit of that wonder in

[2:06:42] it and it's it's a pretty good story and it's just a different

[2:06:46] way to you know see the tumultuous times of 1970 Italy

[2:06:52] where there is a lot of kidnappings. I think that's

[2:06:54] when the Getty son was kidnapped. Do you guys know that

[2:06:58] when Belfast? I know that Ridley Scott also did a movie

[2:07:02] about that, but I don't I don't know the details of the story,

[2:07:04] but yeah, so it's it's that time period and so it's about

[2:07:07] the kidnapping of this kid and another kid finding him about

[2:07:10] their friendship and how that's a movie that that's a movie

[2:07:14] that has super dark subject matter, but yeah, they managed

[2:07:16] to make it not not bleak like it doesn't feel like a bleak

[2:07:19] depressing movie and they and they really pull off that kid

[2:07:22] point of view. Yeah. It reminds me of the devil's backbone like

[2:07:27] that same sense of wonder as a child, but also there's dark

[2:07:31] things happening around them. Yeah. It's like devil's

[2:07:33] backbone or spirit of the beehive or like there's an old

[2:07:37] French movie called Forbidden Games where it's like kids

[2:07:40] kids dealing with darkness and seeing it through their through

[2:07:43] their eyes in a way that like imbues it with like poetry.

[2:07:47] Yeah way. Yeah. That's a good movie. I'm not scared. Okay.

[2:07:52] Well, good recommendation. That's a better recommendation

[2:07:54] than Dan and my recommendation. Yeah. I've been watching a lot

[2:07:58] of movies because it's kind of award season. so I'm trying to

[2:08:00] catch up on **** that people are talking about and I guess I

[2:08:04] will today. I'll recommend a movie that's it was it went

[2:08:09] straight to Netflix. Well, I guess not straight to Netflix.

[2:08:11] It's stopped in theaters first. I'm going to recommend Power of

[2:08:14] the dog. That's right. P O the D. It's great. Can I do wait?

[2:08:21] Can I do? Can I do my P of the **** right? What can I do the

[2:08:27] audio version of a joke? I tweeted yesterday before this

[2:08:30] which is Huey Lewis Huey Lewis reviewing it and going the

[2:08:32] power of the dog is a curious thing in a lot of ways it is

[2:08:37] and it's directed by the champion Jane Campion or should

[2:08:41] I call her Cambion because she's a little devilish with

[2:08:44] the twist. I love that you are. I love that you're becoming

[2:08:48] Jean shallot is that you should do all your recommendations.

[2:08:53] Benedict Cumberbatch is a cumbersome snack. It's amazing

[2:08:58] performance. Not as successful, but it's still a good try and

[2:09:00] I don't give a **** working hard. So what I'm going to say

[2:09:02] is this is a great little movie directed by Jane Campion with

[2:09:10] where Benedict Cumberbatch and Jesse Plemons play a couple of

[2:09:13] brothers who run a ranch in Ye Olde and Cowboy times and they

[2:09:18] are. They wouldn't say that.

[2:09:23] Benedict Cumberbatch is a real **** and Jesse Plemons is like

[2:09:27] a lovely little wallflower. That's the guy from Breaking

[2:09:30] Bad, right? That is the guy from Breaking Bad and of course

[2:09:33] Friday Night Lights and his real life wife, Kirsten Dunst is in

[2:09:39] the movie. Kirsten Dunst star of movies forever and is great

[2:09:44] and when she got her Hollywood Walk of Fame star, I think I

[2:09:47] saw a news story describe her as Spider-Man's Kirsten Dunst

[2:09:51] and I'm like **** you take her name out your mouth, dude.

[2:09:54] She's been in so much **** don't just say Spider-Man. Did

[2:09:58] they make did they?

[2:10:00] set of Fargo or do they know each other before then? I think they met on the set of Fargo.

[2:10:03] Oh, that's sweet. I mean, I think he murders her in that. No, no, they're husband and wife

[2:10:10] in that. Yeah, but I think he has a lot of spoiled. Ewan McGregor and Mary. What's her

[2:10:16] name? Mary Elizabeth Winstead also met on the set of Fargo. That's a real that's a real love.

[2:10:24] If you want to find a partner, you go and you work for Fargo and you find your spouse.

[2:10:29] Yeah, that's a way to do this has already been on. That's why they sing that song. Noah Hawley,

[2:10:34] Noah Hawley, make me a match. Find me a find Noah Hawley. So it is a it is a tight thriller.

[2:10:45] It is shot beautifully. It has a Johnny Greenwood score. So, you know, you're going to be jamming

[2:10:50] that shit. Benedict Cumberbatch gives a great performance. His accent is an American character

[2:10:57] is come on, questionable. It's Benedict Cumberbatch. You can't expect him to do an

[2:11:01] amazing American accent. It's like expecting Al Pacino to do a normal voice. And it's got some

[2:11:08] twists and turns. And it's just fucking great, man. I totally recommend it. Power of the dog.

[2:11:14] Or when you go to your grocery store, just ask for that's right. P of the D.

[2:11:20] Wait, so they're buying a movie at the grocery store. You never did that from like the bargain

[2:11:24] bin where you are. Is there a rental at the corner like some stores? But usually I wouldn't

[2:11:29] usually I didn't have to ask the cleric for a specific movie. I just see what was available.

[2:11:33] You know, dude, I don't give you shit for saying my New York. OK, fair point. I mean,

[2:11:41] before you do a little bit, I do give you shit for that. So it's great. You should check it out.

[2:11:46] OK, yum, yum, yum. It's going to win awards. Well,

[2:11:49] I Audrey, thank you for being our guest. I know it was probably hard for you to get here in all

[2:11:53] the snow. So thanks. I didn't have to. Sure. I have to neuter your pets, right?

[2:12:04] Sure. Yeah, sure. I read a good book lately. It's called Good Neighbors. You should read that.

[2:12:10] Hey, you know who Good Neighbors is written by Sarah Langan, who's Jerry J.T. Petty's wife.

[2:12:16] OK, I thought that that would mean something to you. No, I mean, I like him a lot. He's a great

[2:12:22] guy and I like his movies. Yeah. Anyway, great book. But it's not like I don't know what the if

[2:12:28] you were looking for, like a big, like viral moment where I'm like, what? What? Then I apologize.

[2:12:34] I'm sorry. Well, wait, run into the other room and tell your kids and watch them lose their mind.

[2:12:38] Yeah, they're going to love it. But that's what reminds me of. So there's a video of a kid

[2:12:44] so there's a video of a kid, these kids watching Empire Strikes Back and they find and he says,

[2:12:48] Luke, I'm your father, and the kids have this big reaction. And I was like, that'll happen when we

[2:12:51] watch it. And I watched it with with Sammy and he goes, Luke, I am your father. And Sammy turns to

[2:12:56] me and goes, is that true? And I go, yeah. And he goes, OK. And I was like, that was it. Really

[2:13:01] process that information quickly. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, good for him. I mean, he's going to

[2:13:05] be back. Checked it, though, that he did. He knows Darth Vader is a bad guy and maybe a liar.

[2:13:11] I mean, kids nowadays are more accepting of what a family looks like. That's not traditional. So

[2:13:15] that's really good. Yeah, that's very fair. He's like lots of my friends at school.

[2:13:19] They they were raised by their uncle and aunt. Their dad's an evil cyborg. They don't know their

[2:13:23] mom. Yeah, it's like, oh, that's true. OK, that must be tough for Luke, but we'll see where it

[2:13:28] goes. Maybe he'll take that disappointment, make him stronger, like in Great Expectations.

[2:13:36] And I'm like, that's not exactly what happens at Great Expectations. But

[2:13:40] anyway. Well, anyway, thank you for listening, listeners. Why don't you head on over to

[2:13:46] MaximumFun.org if you like podcasts. There's many more on the network that we are on,

[2:13:53] which is called Maximum Fun. And you can see what they have over there that you might like.

[2:14:00] And thank you to Alex Smith, who is our producer. A big fan of French Dispatch as well. So I'm

[2:14:06] sure he'll he'll like put some cool sound effects underneath here. Your recommendation.

[2:14:11] It's like, oh, wow. It's cheering. Yeah. Yeah. Lots of applause. Yeah. Yeah. But,

[2:14:19] you know, what a treat to do this movie with all of you. This is a blast for the Flophouse.

[2:14:25] I have been Dan McCoy and I have been Stuart Wellington and I've been Elliot Kalin.

[2:14:32] And for this time being, I'm Audrey Lazzaro.

[2:14:39] I like, Audrey, that you left the door open to become something else someday.

[2:14:46] Did you guys know that the founder of Gucci was named Guccio Gucci?

[2:14:50] I didn't know that. His first name was Guccio and there's a lot of Italian names in between

[2:14:56] and his last name was Gucci. And I'm like, what a country. I love it.

[2:15:00] Because Guccio Gucci sounds like an Irish Italian man.

[2:15:03] Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Guccio Gucci.

[2:15:07] Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.

Ep. #360 - House of Gucci, with Audrey Lazaro

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