Ep. #361 - Accidental Love, with Matthew Silverstein and Dave Jeser

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Accidental Love.

[0:03] Also known as Nailed, directed by David O. Russell under the name Stephen Green, it's confusing.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flop Fest.

[0:39] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:40] Hey, Dan McCoy.

[0:41] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:42] Hey, Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington.

[0:43] I'm Elliot Kalin, and we've got some very special guests with us today.

[0:44] May I introduce them to you guys?

[0:45] Yes, please do.

[0:46] Yes, I wanted to get your full consent before introducing them.

[0:47] I did not want to strike this surprise you with them or you just spring them on you as

[0:48] surprise guests.

[0:49] These aren't real guests.

[0:50] They're just guests.

[0:51] They're guests.

[1:07] These aren't surprise witnesses, although I do have those later on.

[1:08] Oh, yes.

[1:09] We emailed about it.

[1:10] Okay, don't pull back the curtains, too.

[1:11] So we have some special guests today.

[1:12] This doesn't happen a lot for us.

[1:13] We're going to talk about a movie, and we have with us the writers of the movie.

[1:17] That's right.

[1:18] Joining us, you may know their work from the Man Show or Crank Yankers or Solar Opposites.

[1:22] They created the shows Drawn Together and What Just Happened, and they're currently writing

[1:25] on Housebroken on FOX.

[1:27] You can also watch it on Hulu, but it's also on FOX Monday nights.

[1:30] They're Matt Silverstein and Dave Jesser, the writers of Accidental Love, aka Nailed,

[1:35] right?

[1:36] Hey.

[1:37] Hey, guys.

[1:38] Thanks for joining us.

[1:39] Well, thanks, guys.

[1:40] Thanks for having us.

[1:41] It's nice to be on a show about a movie we wrote.

[1:42] And this is a podcast where you talk about the worst movies ever, right?

[1:46] Not the worst.

[1:48] I didn't know the premise of the show.

[1:50] I feel like I've been blindsided.

[1:51] Yeah, I told him it was more of an inside the screenwriter's studio type of thing.

[1:56] I think this is the first time this has happened.

[1:58] Of course, Chris Weitz was on a mini where we talked a little bit about New Moon, the

[2:03] movie that we made fun of before.

[2:05] And we talked a little bit.

[2:06] We had a mini where we talked to the writer of the Super Mario Brothers movie.

[2:10] Yeah, yeah.

[2:11] But this is the first sort of main episode where we're talking to people deeply involved

[2:16] in the film.

[2:17] It's the first time where we're really going to be dissecting the movie with the people

[2:20] who are somewhat out.

[2:22] This is all on our quest to eventually have Paul Schrader on here and then our show will

[2:27] immediately be canceled.

[2:28] What's he going to be talking about?

[2:29] Marmaduke?

[2:30] He talks about all kinds of shit.

[2:31] Is that the movie you keep claiming he wrote?

[2:35] No, he wrote Heart Beeps, Dan.

[2:38] Paul Schrader was not involved with Heart Beeps, Stuart.

[2:41] I don't know why.

[2:42] And you go on to Wikipedia now and it says Heart Beeps, a Paul Schrader joint, which

[2:46] is not accurate at all.

[2:47] When I was watching the card counter, I couldn't help but think about Heart Beeps the whole

[2:51] time.

[2:52] I think that's just you.

[2:54] It is about a somewhat robotic man.

[2:55] I can understand that.

[2:56] But anyway, this isn't a podcast about Paul Schrader, Dan.

[2:59] What do we do on this podcast?

[3:01] Well, we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[3:04] And this is a movie, I'm sure we'll get into it, that had all the pieces in place to be

[3:10] a good movie.

[3:11] A very fine director of films, David O. Russell.

[3:16] I mean, I I've heard negative personal things about it, but I mean, as a human being, I

[3:20] think we can't give him top marks, but he's certainly a talented filmmaker.

[3:25] It's got a top-notch cast full of big name stars.

[3:29] And behind the scenes, you've got two of the best screenwriters in the biz, Jesser and

[3:32] Silverstein.

[3:33] Silverstein and Jesser.

[3:34] But it went through a lot of production things, which I'm sure we'll talk about.

[3:39] Our career, we've sort of based on the guiding principle that we want to make something that

[3:43] either everyone loves or hates.

[3:45] And I think this is another success.

[3:49] You don't want to make a wishy-washy movie, not for you, the two and a half star.

[3:52] Yeah, it was fine.

[3:53] No, no.

[3:54] All stars or no stars, Elliot.

[3:58] So to be full disclosure, I work with Matt and Davon Housebroken, and they're really

[4:05] fantastic and both fantastic writers and great people.

[4:09] And I love talking to them.

[4:10] And so I was very excited to have them here when I found when I found out that they wrote

[4:13] this movie.

[4:15] And I'm curious.

[4:16] And can you explain to the audience kind of where where you were in your careers?

[4:19] This is 2015 and how you got involved in this movie, which had all the earmarks of a hit.

[4:24] Totally.

[4:25] Yeah.

[4:26] Big name stars.

[4:27] Yeah.

[4:28] We we had just finished.

[4:29] We Drawn Together was just canceled.

[4:30] And I think I don't know if we were doing anything specific.

[4:33] Right.

[4:34] We were probably just starting to work with 20th.

[4:35] I think we worked on a show called Unhitched, which was a Fairly Brothers show.

[4:39] We come off the strike.

[4:40] Right.

[4:41] There was a strike and we were in desperate need of health insurance.

[4:44] Oh, that's what it was.

[4:46] Ironically, this is the movie we ended up working on because we needed health insurance

[4:51] and the movies about getting health insurance.

[4:53] The secret to how big name Hollywood people get involved in bad projects a lot of times

[4:57] with actors.

[4:58] It's that they have a divorce they have to pay for.

[4:59] And with screenwriters, it's that they need health insurance.

[5:01] That seems to be the the constant tale.

[5:03] Yeah, that's right.

[5:04] Because we work on our animated show Drawn Together.

[5:06] A lot of animated shows aren't gilled and Drawn Together wasn't.

[5:09] So we didn't get health insurance.

[5:11] And the strike came like, oh, my gosh, we need we need our wife was pregnant.

[5:15] And we needed to make a combined total.

[5:17] I think it was $40,000.

[5:20] And we said, we need to need to make a guild $40,000.

[5:23] And through our manager or agent or someone, they said, oh, David O. Russell is making

[5:28] a movie based on Kristen Gore, Al Gore's daughter's book called Sammy's Tale.

[5:34] And he wanted some crazier, dumber writers.

[5:38] I'm smart.

[5:40] I'm not in the biz.

[5:41] So you guys can help me read between the lines.

[5:44] But when you say health insurance and pregnant wife, does that just mean gambling debts?

[5:50] Gambling and meth.

[5:51] Oh, wow.

[5:52] Yeah.

[5:53] Designer drugs.

[5:54] So then we so then we went and we met with him and it was great.

[5:57] We went to his house, which looked like it looked like a frat house.

[6:01] Right.

[6:02] Like it was like it was there's like only like a dirty couch and a half filled pool

[6:05] in the backyard and crappy lawn furniture.

[6:08] We just went outside and just started talking to him.

[6:10] And he was in a bathrobe, at least in my memory.

[6:13] He was in a bathrobe.

[6:14] What is what year?

[6:15] Talking day.

[6:16] What is it?

[6:17] Two thousand two.

[6:18] Two thousand four.

[6:19] Yeah.

[6:20] Target.

[6:21] Fifteen years.

[6:22] Yeah.

[6:23] So this sounds to me like Alfred Molina and Boogie Nights.

[6:24] Was it?

[6:25] Oh, it was a little bit like that.

[6:26] That whole vibe.

[6:27] And so he's like, listen, I wrote a script for this book.

[6:30] I'm writing it with Kristen Gore.

[6:32] It's her book, Sammy Hill.

[6:34] And we're adapting it to a movie.

[6:35] And I'm like, well, would you like me to read the book?

[6:37] And he's like, no, we don't want it to be anything like the book.

[6:40] Let's get rid of the book.

[6:41] And I was like, well, do you want me to read the draft you guys did?

[6:43] No, we don't want you guys to read the draft.

[6:45] We don't want it to be based on the book or the draft we did.

[6:48] But I do want to do a movie about a hot girl going to Washington.

[6:53] And then so then we started riffing on ideas off of that brilliant idea.

[6:58] The original title was Sexy Smith Goes to Washington.

[7:00] Yeah.

[7:01] Yeah.

[7:02] So that's what we had to start with.

[7:04] And then I'm not quite sure how it all ended up, but I think we started pitching on ideas

[7:09] about a woman trying to get health care in D.C.

[7:13] And then we brought up an episode we did of Drawn Together where one of our characters

[7:17] had a brain tumor that hit different parts of her brain and activated different parts

[7:22] of her personality.

[7:23] So she was sometime a big nymphomaniac or a racist stereotype.

[7:29] And I think he really sparked to that.

[7:30] And then we came up with the nail in the head and and then the rest is history.

[7:34] And then when you were when you were working on this movie is called Nailed because it's

[7:39] to give away some of the plot involves a woman who gets a nail in her head that changes her

[7:42] personality sometimes as opposed to this is a it's a confusing movie because it's available

[7:46] under the title Nailed on Tubi.

[7:49] But when you watch the movie, the title card says Accidental Love.

[7:52] Yeah.

[7:53] So it's like even the movie.

[7:54] It's I guess it's a real sign that the movie doesn't know what it wants to be.

[7:57] I could have watched this on Tubi.

[7:58] I watched it on IMDb TV with all those stupid commercials.

[8:02] Tubi also has stupid commercials.

[8:03] Yeah.

[8:04] I don't know what you're like.

[8:05] Oh my God.

[8:06] And the other fascinating thing is like where David Russell was in his career at that point,

[8:11] he had just he did I Heart Huckabees.

[8:14] And I think there was nothing really going on.

[8:15] He was sort of in a lull.

[8:17] I guess that's why we were able to get in there.

[8:19] And he did Three Kings before that as well.

[8:22] He did a bunch of great movies.

[8:24] I guess Spanking the Monkey.

[8:25] Spanking the Monkey.

[8:26] Yeah.

[8:27] And then I remember I remember getting off at the Astoria subway in Forest Hills, the

[8:31] subway station there.

[8:32] And there was still like 10 to 15 years later, there was still a Three Kings poster kind

[8:37] of stuffed behind a ticket kiosk thing where they're just like, well, we can't really use

[8:42] this anymore.

[8:43] So we'll just leave this artifact forever.

[8:46] That's like the the there there used to be like a gas station on Broadway around Houston.

[8:52] I don't know if it's there anymore.

[8:53] And it's or it was a parking lot.

[8:54] And they had a huge ad for The Majestic starring Jim Carrey.

[8:58] And it was an enormous standee, probably 20 feet tall of a sad Jim Carrey.

[9:04] And it was and the movie opened and closed within weeks, but that was there for it felt

[9:08] like 10 years.

[9:09] Like you'd walk by and it was just, yeah, it was it was a relic of an ancient civilization

[9:13] with Jim Carrey.

[9:14] The Majestic.

[9:15] Yeah.

[9:16] Yeah.

[9:17] Yeah.

[9:18] Look upon my works.

[9:19] He was the biggest star.

[9:20] Yeah.

[9:21] He was a huge star.

[9:22] So do you do you want to talk at all, Matt and Dave, about about the conflict behind

[9:26] the scenes with with this movie, or would you rather help me set you up because because

[9:32] basically it was clear with David O. Russell, we had never worked with him.

[9:37] We had a great time working with him, but it was always a new idea, a new idea, a new

[9:40] idea.

[9:41] He saw the movie Monster House and that changed his perspective on the movie.

[9:45] So at some point, Matt and I did get a job and had to move on and left him and Kristen

[9:50] Gore to finish writing the movie.

[9:52] We had no idea if it was getting made and we heard it was.

[9:56] And it was years later when we got a call from the Writers Guild saying, hey, there

[9:59] was.

[10:00] submission for credits for this movie. And just so you know, you are not getting any credit."

[10:05] And we said, well, that makes sense. We had moved on in our careers. We weren't around for the

[10:09] shooting of the movie or the finishing of the script. So we thought, all right, that makes

[10:13] sense that Kristen Gore would rewrite everything we wrote, because most of the stuff we wrote was

[10:17] about a guy who had a boner forever and a guy who had a prolapsed rectum. And that stuff didn't seem

[10:23] like it was in Kristen Gore's world. But it was the night we got the call or the day we got the

[10:29] call from the Guild saying, hey, if you don't put in a file to get credit or whatever it is,

[10:35] then you won't get credit in the movie. And Matt decided, oh, I should just read at least the

[10:39] script. I'll read what they submitted. And you had something like 24 hours.

[10:44] Yeah. They had called me like a few times. And then it was literally like, yeah,

[10:49] like it's the end of the day today or by midnight. If you don't file something,

[10:53] you can't get credit. And so I'm like, whatever. I'll at least read what they submitted.

[10:58] And then I read the treatment and it was a treatment that we wrote, but our names were

[11:03] taken off of it. So then I immediately look on my, you know, I look back, I mean, we're talking,

[11:06] it was already like three or four years after the fact. I look on my computer and I find the exact

[11:11] document, but our names also on it, at which point then I was like, well, I just kind of lost my mind.

[11:17] And I'm like, well, now I do want credit. I don't care how shitty this movie is.

[11:22] I erased my name. I want to go ahead and, and then Dave got a copy of the script or a version

[11:28] of a shooting draft or something. And he started, he just sort of skimmed through it. It was like,

[11:30] yeah, there's, there's some stuff here that we, we, you know, stuff of the original draft. I'm

[11:34] like, well, fuck then let's, let's try to get some credit. Like at least get a story by credit,

[11:38] which is what we really felt we deserved because we thought we, we helped develop the story.

[11:43] And by the way, just as a, as a coda, we didn't get paid enough for the movie to get health

[11:48] insurance. If we did not, if we got story, if we got credit for the movie, you know,

[11:54] you get a certain bump. That bump would have taken it past the threshold where we would have had,

[12:01] you know, in, in the writer's guild, you use credits. So you basically use up credits until

[12:05] you can't have health insurance. So we had to use up these credits and then lose our health

[12:09] insurance ultimately, but this would have gotten us back over that threshold. So you weren't,

[12:14] you weren't just doing this for vanity. You weren't just doing this to see your name in

[12:17] lights. You were doing this for your family. I was out of spite and Dave's was out of his

[12:25] blood. Matt, Matt married. Well, he didn't need health insurance. I was having a baby.

[12:29] I had my meth and gambling problem. So then, so then I, you know, we, we sat down and we,

[12:35] we penned a letter to the arbitration committee, the WGA, the people that then look a, a neutral

[12:40] party who looks at the scripts, looks at all the materials and decides who deserves credit.

[12:45] And so then I, I wrote this letter. Matt, if you would feel comfortable

[12:48] with reading some of this letter to us. I don't know if I'm comfortable, but I'll do it.

[12:52] Here it is. It's July 29th, 2013. Wow. Heady times. Yeah. All right. Dear members of the

[12:59] arbitration committee. While you have most certainly read in the trades that we, Dave

[13:04] Jesser and Matt Silverstein are seeking stories credit on the Jessica Beal vehicle nailed. Do not

[13:10] be fooled. The stakes have never been lower. Even the director David O. Russell is refusing credit

[13:15] on this tasteless piece of cinematic diarrhea. Unfortunately, given the current status of our

[13:20] writing careers, we cannot afford to be denied the credit we deserve on any crappy movie and

[13:26] make no mistake. This movie is total shit, but we are responsible for at least taking half of this

[13:32] shit. And it's important for the world to know that Matt Silverstein and Dave Jesser squeezed

[13:36] out a painfully large portion. Wow. OK, so it goes on. Now, Kristen Gore believes she deserves

[13:44] sole credit writing because she took the biggest shit out of all of us. And to get sole credit,

[13:49] Kristen Gore has proved repeatedly throughout this process that she is full of more shit than

[13:54] anybody. Starting with the first treatment she submitted to the committee, claiming that only

[13:59] she and David O. Russell authored the treatment without us. Now, to her credit, once we reminded

[14:05] her, she was able to recall spending weeks in a small house with us while we wrote the majority

[14:10] of the treatment. We don't hold any of that against her because people forget stuff like

[14:13] that all the time, especially when they erase the names of the people they don't want to share

[14:19] credit with from the actual document. Wow. This is crazy that I wrote this. Here's the ending.

[14:26] Anyhow, listen, we all spent way too much time discussing who's responsible for this movie. No

[14:30] one is going to see. We really do wish we had better careers so we could distance ourselves

[14:35] from Nailed, too. But the sad fact is we can't. But all we're asking of you, dear members of this

[14:40] committee, is take a deep whiff of this shitty movie and ask yourself this simple question.

[14:45] Who's shit does this smell like? And then look at our credits or just reread this poorly written

[14:50] statement. Do that. And we believe you'll agree that Nailed stinks like us. God bless

[14:58] Matt and Dave. So that was that was our that was our statement to try to get credit on a movie

[15:04] that's a giant piece of shit. And it was successful. And that it's a story of triumph of

[15:09] the human spirit because it was successful. And you did get credit on this. I'm just going to

[15:14] be polite because you're in the room. Not very good movie. And here well, here's the crazy twist.

[15:18] I mean, the big six cent thing. I never watched the movie until yesterday to prepare for this

[15:24] podcast. And we didn't write this movie. We just didn't. We didn't write it. We definitely

[15:31] helped come up with the story. But we we had very little to do with this movie.

[15:36] Yeah, I watched it last night for the first time. I'm curious to hear what you guys think,

[15:40] because it seemed to me that, you know, David Russell jumped off the movie before they even

[15:45] finished shooting it. He was sick of them not giving him whatever. I don't know the

[15:50] the reasons, but he jumped off. He didn't want credit for the movie.

[15:53] Then they shot the first scene where the nail gets in her head and read and then edit it and

[15:58] got it out because David Russell was winning Oscars by then. But it seemed to me that probably

[16:03] David Russell, because, you know, he has a movie in his head, probably had an idea of how this movie

[16:08] would look. And then new people came in, finished it and had no idea. Now, who knows what David

[16:14] Russell's version would have been like? But I can't imagine this version he had in his head

[16:19] and he as he shot those scenes. I mean, watching it, my impression was definitely that like,

[16:26] yeah, there was a movie in here and then it just got rearranged by people who are like,

[16:32] I don't know, like we came in, we found this footage, like what what can we do with it?

[16:37] Because like it's a little bit like the actual story of this movie of its making is the fake

[16:42] story of the Blair Witch Project, which is stumbling on footage that you then assemble

[16:46] into some kind of some kind of releasable product. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know

[16:52] how accurate anything online is, but it seemed to be that like there was all this stuff where

[16:57] like funding would fall through and then like they would deny more funding and and they wanted to fire

[17:03] people off of it. So by that point, David Russell lost interest and like there was stuff that they

[17:08] left off shooting like key important stuff to the end because they're like, oh, we like wait

[17:14] to like do the nail gun accident to the end. They have to give us more money. And then there was

[17:19] like a strike and they couldn't do it. And we just very like if you see the nail gun accident,

[17:24] it just seems like, yeah, like there might as well be like a scene missing card that you put

[17:29] up on the screen at that point. It's like the lap dance in in Death Proof and Grindhouse with

[17:34] real missing. Or was that Planet Terror? I don't remember. No, no, it's Death Proof. Yeah. So why

[17:39] don't we why don't we talk about when we talk about what this movie is about? We talked about

[17:42] that. It doesn't that that Matt and Dave in a in a in a story of victory for all writers, I think,

[17:49] managed to managed to rest their names back onto it. So what is this movie that called Accident

[17:54] to Love Slash Nailed that they're that they're on? Well, we know as we were talking about it,

[17:58] that it involves a woman with a nail in her head. So let's start. So the movie, for some reason,

[18:02] starts with the text a few years ago, and then it goes to a CGI map of America.

[18:07] And we zoom into Indiana where we meet Alice Echol, Jessica Biel. She's a roller skating

[18:12] waitress at a car that it takes place a few years ago in Indiana. And it doesn't mention where I'm

[18:16] at since I was in Indiana. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got the old thing that put that under

[18:21] film. But I guess that's true. Stuart, was it was this a was this an accurate representation

[18:26] of Indiana what we see on screen? I mean, it felt I actually got homesick and I started crying.

[18:33] Because of all the roller skating waitresses that used to serve you.

[18:36] Yep. And classic cars. I will say I wonder whether a few years ago. I mean, like that's,

[18:41] you know, look, that's kind of a joke thing that sometimes happens where it's just like

[18:46] the day after tomorrow when they don't want to like set in time. But I also wonder if like

[18:50] by the time this movie was released, like Obamacare had come out. And yes, you know,

[18:55] Lord knows it's not the best health care system. But the premise of this movie, you know,

[19:01] was kind of no longer as possible to get. Yes. So I don't know. I wonder if that was part of it.

[19:08] That's that makes it that's a very good point. That's a good point that I hadn't thought about

[19:11] because it does. It is. It's just a very vague. They should just put before Obamacare on the

[19:15] front. Yeah, but but then they go to this diner with all like these 50s cars and she's a rosy.

[19:20] So you think it's well, now we're not back in 1950, which is really bizarre, but you're not

[19:25] you're living you're living in. I mean, it's a sort of a historical time in American history.

[19:30] It's kind of like you're living in a mythic version of America. She's anyway, she's great

[19:34] on her skates. She does knock a guy over. It's weird. You see a bunch of shots of her doing

[19:38] really great skating tricks. And then she just bumps into a guy and knocks him down.

[19:42] And it's one of the things you're like, so is she bad on her skates? I don't anyway.

[19:45] It's setting up the important thing that she often gets hit in the head,

[19:49] which will come into play later. Right. So her boyfriend is Scott. He's James Marsden.

[19:53] He's a state trooper, which, you know, because he has a mustache and he always wears his uniform.

[19:57] And he is planning to propose to her at the fanciest restaurant.

[20:00] front in town, the fancy gondola, it's called, and he secured, weeks ahead, he secured the

[20:05] best table, the one next to the gondola, which is suspended from ropes or chains above the

[20:10] ceiling.

[20:11] But the proposal gets interrupted by a guy using a nail gun to fix the gondola, which

[20:16] seems like a weird thing to do in the middle of dinner service anyway.

[20:19] I would recommend, as a bar owner, I would recommend against doing that while you're

[20:24] in the middle of a busy service.

[20:25] But you know, it's hard to get a contractor out, so I guess I understand.

[20:29] It's like there was that movie we watched where, I forget, was it Nicolas Cage or somebody

[20:33] else?

[20:34] They had to turn off, they had to get the lights off in a place, so they stood on the

[20:36] toilet in the public bathroom, and the fuse box was on the ceiling directly above the

[20:40] toilet, and you were talking about, as a bar owner, that's a poor place to put your fuse

[20:44] box.

[20:46] So there's a confusingly edited accident, I'll call it, and Alice ends up with a nail

[20:51] in her head, but yeah, you kind of don't see it.

[20:55] It's all done through suggestion.

[20:56] It's almost like they're making the audience complicit in the act of the nail going in.

[21:01] The way that you don't see the knife go into Janet Leigh in Psycho, you don't see the nail

[21:04] go into Jessica Biel's head.

[21:08] But it makes sense that they, I guess they put off shooting that scene until the end

[21:11] and then they didn't have money to do it, and so it's, you know, it's kind of...

[21:14] And it couldn't get some rustic-ass practical effects of stuff squirting out of the head.

[21:19] Well, that said, you know that Tom Savini, when he watched this, was like, why didn't

[21:24] they hire me?

[21:26] I would have done it.

[21:27] It would have been great.

[21:28] Blood everywhere.

[21:29] You know, Three Kings had that great scene where you see the bullet go inside the body

[21:31] and what happens.

[21:34] It makes you think that...

[21:35] I wonder if he had something in mind where you would see the nail go in and like go into

[21:39] her brain, which would...

[21:40] The whole movie is about that.

[21:41] But yeah, three-dimensional Sonny Chiba style.

[21:44] Exactly.

[21:45] Yeah, it suddenly goes to x-ray.

[21:48] You see the bones get broken.

[21:49] They go to the hospital where Dr. Bill Hader refuses to operate to remove the nail because

[21:54] Alice doesn't have insurance.

[21:56] And while they eat hamburgers in the operating room, they talk about how the nail is so deep

[22:00] in her brain that it could cause personality changes and loss of inhibitions and speaking

[22:05] languages that she vaguely remembers from childhood.

[22:08] And so whenever she gets mad in the movie from now on, she just speaks Portuguese.

[22:11] And Scott, he takes back the engagement ring and gives her his lucky eagle talon, which

[22:16] is something that I was expecting her to carry through the rest of the movie and it just

[22:19] disappears.

[22:20] And I was disappointed that that was not...

[22:22] But just to be clear, he takes back the engagement ring because he doesn't want to be engaged

[22:28] with someone who has a nail in her head and who does not have health insurance.

[22:31] Like that's a deal breaker.

[22:33] The nail in the head he was okay with because he thought, oh my God, she's on her parents'

[22:36] health insurance.

[22:37] But the minute he finds out she's not on her parents' health insurance, he suddenly takes

[22:42] off the ring because he can't be married to a burden.

[22:45] Her parents, one of whom is played by Beverly D'Angelo.

[22:48] She could play both, though.

[22:49] She's great.

[22:50] Yeah.

[22:51] She could play both parents?

[22:52] Yeah, she could play both parents.

[22:53] So do you think they'd both be female characters or she would be playing a man and a woman?

[22:57] I mean, I think she's got range, Elliot.

[22:59] I don't, I mean, I leave it up to her, you know?

[23:01] Okay.

[23:02] I mean, we'll see what the D'Angelo...

[23:03] That's usually what you do in movies, right?

[23:06] There are...

[23:07] Look, this movie, like we said, has been chopped up and put back together in a Frankenstein

[23:15] shambling monster of a film.

[23:17] And it does have funny bits in it, particularly because a lot of the actors are talented comic

[23:26] actors.

[23:27] And I liked James Marsden just, like, constantly giving percentage chances for various things.

[23:35] Like, okay, it's a 60% chance we're still engaged, you know?

[23:40] And there's, like, one point later on when one of the women's like, I don't like your

[23:43] numbers or something.

[23:44] That was very funny.

[23:45] But...

[23:46] Marsden, I mean, he's been the saving grace of a number of Flophouse movies in the past.

[23:52] He's a really talented comic actor.

[23:54] Not a great cyclops, but it's a hard character to do, you know?

[23:58] It's a hard character to do anything with.

[23:59] I mean, that kind of what makes this whole movie fascinating is, like, the cast is insane.

[24:03] It's such a great cast.

[24:05] I mean, even...

[24:06] Yeah, we...

[24:07] I mean, Bill Hader was in that part.

[24:08] Yeah, Bill Hader shows up.

[24:09] He's fantastic.

[24:10] Like, everyone...

[24:11] Yeah.

[24:12] Tracy Morgan shows up.

[24:13] They're doing their best.

[24:14] Yeah.

[24:15] When Tracy Morgan says anything, I laugh at it, just because it's impossible for me not

[24:19] to laugh at his delivery, even if the film around it is not holding...

[24:22] That's where they kicked you out of that...

[24:24] They kicked you out of that Holocaust memorial that he was doing, because he was talking

[24:28] about...

[24:29] Well, he shouldn't have been in charge of that.

[24:30] I mean, he was trying his best to make it somber, and you just wouldn't stop laughing,

[24:33] and they eventually had to leave.

[24:34] I mean, I think the blame's on the organizer, in that case.

[24:36] Yeah.

[24:37] I don't know about that.

[24:38] Maybe.

[24:39] I mean, it was called...

[24:40] It was called Remembering Through Our Laughter, which was, you know...

[24:44] Misleading.

[24:45] It was a bad idea for a Holocaust memorial.

[24:46] Yeah.

[24:47] So, Alice's parents, they hold a fundraiser.

[24:48] This is where we meet the local veterinarian, Christy Alley, and some of the other kooky

[24:53] characters in this town.

[24:54] There's Reverend Norm, played by Kurt Fuller, who you may remember from, like, Ghostbusters

[24:57] 2, and things like that.

[24:59] And he's a minister with a constant boner because of a Viagra accident.

[25:05] And we meet Keyshawn, played by Tracy Morgan, who we'll later learn has a prolapsed rectum

[25:10] from a weightlifting accident.

[25:11] So they are also in desperate need of healthcare.

[25:14] I remember showing David O. Russell, have you guys seen that image online of that weightlifter

[25:19] from the Olympics?

[25:20] He was squatting.

[25:21] I don't know about the Olympics.

[25:22] Yeah.

[25:23] And his whole butt hole fell out of his...

[25:24] Yeah.

[25:25] Like his, yeah, his little singlet ripped.

[25:27] And I remember showing him that, and he was so excited.

[25:31] And then that's what I remember looking in the script, as soon as someone showed up with

[25:34] a prolapsed rectum.

[25:35] I was like, Matt, we did write this!

[25:37] Yeah!

[25:38] Wait a minute, Kristen Gore didn't write prolapsed rectum!

[25:40] We showed him that picture!

[25:42] That's our vision!

[25:43] Now, I haven't, I also, like almost everybody else in the world, I haven't read the book

[25:48] that it's based on.

[25:49] But I did look up the summary, and it is about a woman trying to pass healthcare, a healthcare

[25:52] bill in the Capitol.

[25:53] No way!

[25:54] So it does seem like, yeah, the main Silverstein-Jester addition is the, is the new tone of boners

[26:01] and prolapsed rectums.

[26:02] Yeah, but I also looked into it, like, she's a lobbyist in the book, like she just, like

[26:06] she already is a creature of Washington.

[26:08] I, I, I'm glad that you explained that you did not read the script, because I was like,

[26:13] there's not a very good synopsis of the book online, but nothing about the book seemed

[26:17] to sound like the movie at all.

[26:19] Yeah.

[26:20] And I mean, like at this point, I feel like the tone of the movie is fairly wacky, and

[26:25] the, a lot of the, like, angles, like, there's a lot of close-ups, and it's, the angles are

[26:30] all askew, like it's meant to be-

[26:32] And the music's very wacky, yeah.

[26:33] Yeah.

[26:34] And it feels like, almost like, I mean, Tim Burton-y isn't the right thing to say, but

[26:38] like, it feels like they're trying to, like, I don't know.

[26:41] It felt to me like someone who was trying to emulate wacky comedy, but doesn't know

[26:46] how, doesn't have a good sense of humor, or understand why, and I don't know if that's

[26:50] what was David O. Russell's original intent, to be as wacky, I have no idea.

[26:54] But yeah, it definitely came across wacky, it also came across as an incredibly horny

[27:00] movie without ever reaching any moment of sexy.

[27:05] Yeah, despite Jake Gyllenhaal's bicep veins you see later, and I'm like, wow, he's on

[27:11] a serious cut to get there.

[27:13] Yeah.

[27:14] It's a really, like, yeah, it feels like a teenager's idea of sex, too, because whenever

[27:18] there's a sex scene, it's like, you just see legs flinging around in the air, and you hear

[27:23] like, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ee, ooh, it's like, there's, it's, but we'll get to that.

[27:26] So they don't raise enough money, Alice's loser, Alice's loser job because we're mood

[27:29] swings to that nail, Kirstie Alley tries to remove the nail with some home surgery,

[27:34] and it just causes her to get so violent that Scott finally breaks up with Alice.

[27:39] Now, three weeks later, don't know why we needed it to be three weeks later, but it

[27:42] is, Alice is watching TV, and she sees an ad on TV for her local congressman, Representative

[27:47] Howard Birdwell, Jake Gyllenhaal, who is not yet at, he's not at Okja levels of wacky Jake

[27:55] Gyllenhaal, but he gets pretty high up there.

[27:57] He's on his way.

[27:58] Yeah.

[28:00] I enjoy the, I mean, you know, you can tell me whether this was intended or whether I'm

[28:06] reading too much into the movie, but I do think that, like, there's a bit of a sly joke

[28:12] in the fact that later on we will see how Jessica Biel's, like, lack of shame, like,

[28:21] allows her to fit into Washington, like, immediately and skillfully, like, her shame, her shamelessness

[28:30] is her success, and Jake Gyllenhaal's character is shameless in sort of a, like, gormless,

[28:37] like, weak man way, whereas, like, very clammy-handed, yeah.

[28:42] Yeah, she is shameless to a good cause, but they are a good match in part because, like,

[28:48] her injury and subsequent, like, you know, honestly, mental illness, like, makes her

[28:54] fit right in.

[28:55] It's kind of the being there gag, I guess.

[28:59] Yeah, but there is, yeah, the implication that to get ahead in Washington, you have

[29:02] to be missing the part of your brain that controls your behavior.

[29:06] Exactly.

[29:07] Yeah.

[29:08] That's, yeah, this is a deep movie.

[29:10] That's a good point.

[29:11] Thank you.

[29:12] Yeah, that was, that was what we, that's what we added to it.

[29:14] Yeah.

[29:15] That's smart.

[29:16] The smart stuff.

[29:17] So, Representative Howard Birdwell, he got elected on a platform of providing colored

[29:20] glues for school kids, they need glues and more than color, and, which is a funny joke,

[29:25] and he asked, he says, if you need help, contact me.

[29:27] So, she and the Reverend and Keishon, they go to D.C. to get help with their health care

[29:31] needs.

[29:32] They have a brief dust up with a security guard at the Capitol Building, Rakesha, who

[29:36] just leaves with Keishon immediately on a date, and I was like, oh, well, that's not

[29:39] going to come back.

[29:40] No, it does.

[29:41] That's a storyline throughout the movie, is Keishon and Rakesha's relationship.

[29:45] And Birdwell's aide, he won't let Alice meet with him.

[29:48] Birdwell's too busy meeting with housewhip Pam Hendrickson, played by Katherine Keener.

[29:53] Who's almost unrecognizable in this wig.

[29:57] There were times when I was like, I had to remind myself, I was like, this, she was,

[29:59] this is.

[30:00] when she was in like being John Malkovich she seems so cool all the time and here she manages

[30:04] to be like I guess just a Washington person like not cool it's a very different character for her

[30:08] to play um but she's super talented that's what happens um yeah she I mean she's giving off like

[30:14] Allison Janney type energy in this role yes yeah Allison Janney energy which hopefully the country

[30:19] will be operating off of by 2050 that's that's the goal that's in Biden's Build Back Better program

[30:24] we gotta replace oil with Allison Janney. Elliot you're living in a fool's paradise that's not

[30:29] gonna like you know like that we've got you know a few more decades of Allison Janney energy

[30:34] God willing. Down lobbying for Christine Baranski energy over here. I mean that's also solid energy

[30:41] I mean if only if only we could uh we could harness all of our all of hers all of our uh

[30:48] talented television and film actresses Jean Smart could power Chicago we know that and stage

[30:53] and stage yes and they're also stage actresses yeah uh anyway Catherine Keener she uh wants to

[30:58] she wants Gyllenhaal support for a bill that would build a military base on the moon and she's

[31:02] already gotten the support of this Girl Scout group by promising that she'll get Shakira to

[31:07] perform at their jamboree even though that's just a lie and this is I think where the movie kind of

[31:11] misunderstands comedy is that her her lead aid is Paul Rubens and he's given very little to do in

[31:18] the movie and Paul Rubens is like he if he's playing maybe the least wacky character in the

[31:23] entire movie which is a strange choice when this is literally Phoebe Herman running around

[31:28] she made me laugh really hard he like looked at camera and narrowed his eyes a couple times

[31:33] he was definitely his own hey can I make a just a quick comment about the uh the moon base

[31:39] when we were breaking the story I knew the Catherine Keener character existed and

[31:44] and David uh Russell really wanted her to be trying to pass a bill for something really evil

[31:50] and he was looking for pitches and Matt pitched well what if she's trying to build like a Death

[31:54] Star and I think you were just sort of half joking half serious I know that David O Russell was like

[31:59] that's a terrible oh no I mean like I literally thought he was going to throw something at me

[32:03] like he thought it was the worst idea he'd ever heard and so I was like oh okay all right I mean

[32:10] I don't know Death Star has only been up until that point it's only been successful in movies

[32:14] and then when he went we went with him to pitch the movie uh once we broke it out with Kristen

[32:22] and it was the weirdest thing I mean we've been pitching uh you know to varying degrees of success

[32:26] but we're always as prepared as we can be we had written half the outline for the pitch that David

[32:32] hadn't read when we went in to pitch the movie so he was reading things for the first time in front

[32:37] of the head of Sony you know even to the point where he was reading it going oh this is pretty

[32:41] good and then he would read what we had written or what Kristen had written and then at some point

[32:45] he said and then they meet this Catherine Keener character and she's trying to uh bill uh get a

[32:51] bill going for what was it again Matt what was your pitch and I was like oh the the Death Star

[32:58] like I was so scared to say yes the Death Star I'm like oh my god and he sort of went on with

[33:06] the pitch and then eventually he was like yeah you know he hadn't read any of the third act that we

[33:10] had tried to put together for him and he was like hey they go to Washington it pretty much all works

[33:15] out you get it right and I remember thinking we were going to get all right well thanks for coming

[33:19] in that was weird but they bought the movie immediately right in the room be like wow that

[33:23] sounds like a great movie let's do it I'm like what where am I how does this work so we assume

[33:30] there'd be no Death Star and in any of our treatments because he was so against it we

[33:34] didn't have it in and then last night when I watched the movie the first time it wasn't unfortunately

[33:38] the Death Star but it was a moon base which I'd like to think there's not that big there's not

[33:44] that big a leap I mean they make it very clear in Star Wars that that's not a small moon that's a

[33:49] battle station yeah but the uh but but it's I mean it's pretty close it's not that different uh

[33:55] so uh so Paul Rubens is like hey Howard you got to find a likable ordinary person to be at this

[34:00] PR event tomorrow to endorse the moon base because we need to we've got the we've got the Girl Scouts

[34:05] on board we need to make it look like ordinary Americans really want this moon base that can

[34:09] blow things up from space and uh Jake Gyllenhaal runs into Jessica Biel in the hallway and uh he

[34:14] she's like I need your help with health care and he's like that's way too complicated I'm a freshman

[34:17] representative I can't do that and she gets hit in the head by a passing eagle statue that someone's

[34:22] carrying and that I guess shifts the nail in her head enough that she comes she comes suddenly

[34:26] uncontrollably horny and they have such cartoonish sex in in office in the capital to the and Alice

[34:32] has her first ever orgasm and she's reaching up to portraits of presidents and tearing their

[34:36] crotches out wow you know in the in the throes of this earth-shattering orgasm it's really it's

[34:42] very cartoonish and she's like I can't believe I did that I blame it on the nail you do it all

[34:46] the time I mean the problem is my wife won't let us do it near portraits anymore because I've

[34:50] destroyed so many of them yeah you've been good you and just the cost to get things framed is

[34:54] fucking so expensive oh it's so expensive and I you know and I my hands get all cut up from

[34:58] grabbing the for breaking through the glass you know and so and all that so you know and this was

[35:02] an important moment right because they had set up Jessica Biel had never had an orgasm with uh her

[35:06] with James Marsden which is not likely yeah it's hard for me to lie look at him and then only when

[35:15] she has uh this horrible affliction this nail in her head that's you know tearing apart her brain

[35:20] uncontrollably to the point where she has sex with random people not in the I guess a hallway or a

[35:25] closet of frame pictures it was hard because like it wasn't his office and it wasn't someone else's

[35:31] office but he was like get out I'm working here it was just and the camera hanging around so

[35:37] and portraits of presidents which this is congress like you think they'd be portraits

[35:41] of representatives you know but you know what nobody's gonna recognize Sam Rayburn's crotch

[35:44] so I guess put Bill Clinton up there so you're saying Dave sorry no no that was it that finally

[35:49] it was in that uh special romantic circumstance she could finally feel comfortable enough to have

[35:54] an orgasm yeah it turns out she has a very specific kink which is it has to be in the Capitol

[36:00] building office with portraits in it otherwise yeah within five to seven minutes of being hit in

[36:05] the head by a 12-foot wide statue of a golden eagle which was just tearing through the halls

[36:11] yeah and with a super cut up Jake Gyllenhaal yeah you're right jacked he is like later and I'm like

[36:19] what was he making at this point in his career I think probably too it was like right around

[36:25] Prince of Persia yeah oh really then that makes sense because it yeah because he's

[36:29] because he is pretty jacked in Prince of Persia right he's got to do all that jumping

[36:32] in within minutes like the main thing of Prince of Persia does is jump yeah it's all jumping the

[36:37] video games yeah uh that's what the main the main responsibility is when in in ancient times when

[36:42] you were a Prince of Persia was jumping from platform to platform that was that was the main

[36:45] role yeah in prep in preparing to become a sultan uh so uh she she's like I can't believe I did that

[36:51] it's this nail on my head and he goes look I'll put the health care bill as a rider on this moon

[36:55] base bill if you'll come speak at this PR event this moment of crazy sex has proven to me that

[37:00] you are the average American that I need to to get the approval of America for this and uh there's a

[37:05] scene where Alice and the Reverend and Keishon they all seem to be sharing one hotel room

[37:09] and uh all we learned that is Keishon did not tell Rakesh about his prolapsed rectum and he does

[37:14] and he wants them to help him lie to her about it it's a very it's a very sitcom-y storyline

[37:18] because it's literally like a moment yeah yeah um the next day it's wait can I ask you guys a

[37:23] question about that scene I think I saw what who played the minister or the priest uh Kurt

[37:27] Fuller right that scene because I looked for it a lot was one of the only scenes you actually saw

[37:32] his boner not in yeah through his pants so this joke where you're supposed to be running around

[37:38] with a boner the whole time they never even except for that scene in this hotel room they may have

[37:43] been sharing he was on the bed and you saw it sort of like suddenly pushing up against the side of

[37:47] his pants yeah it's more like a gag they do a lot of describing Kurt Fuller was probably like

[37:52] no I take this role really seriously I'm going to make sure that I have a real boner the whole

[37:57] time and they're like uh don't you want to go with the prosthetic he's like nope even though

[38:00] I'm wearing black pants you're going to definitely be able to tell that I have a boner I have to

[38:05] admit I was distracted during the scene where they explained what like the other main characters with

[38:10] medical issues uh their problems were so I spent the rest of the movie kind of like piecing it

[38:16] together well he seems concerned about his penis did he like is it like chafed and somewhat like

[38:23] what is it yeah it does happen a business quite a lot this is like Robert Altman's images you

[38:30] really got to pay close attention to figure out the story yeah yeah uh they also I do like how

[38:35] in their hotel room she has a x-ray of the nail on her head taped to the lamp so we will always

[38:41] remember that she has a nail in her head like you would think she wouldn't want to see that all the

[38:46] time but maybe you know I mean maybe it keeps hitting the part of her brain that makes her

[38:50] forget that there's a nail in her head you know it's like momento yeah yeah momento it's it's it's

[38:55] it's uh it's tattooed across her across her her uh her uh clavicles uh in backwards it says you

[39:01] have a nail in your head so when she looks in the mirror it says that yeah so the next day it's the

[39:04] moon event Alice's get Alice she gives a speech that's kind of confused but it's very passionate

[39:08] she's a big hit the moon base gets more popular thanks to her support everyone celebrates with a

[39:13] drinking party at her hotel at the hotel room and everyone leaves so that Jessica Biel and

[39:18] Jake Gyllenhaal can have sex again uh then it's the next day uh they're doing a photo op and what's

[39:24] funny is that she's always she's always got her crew of people with her like Tracy Morgan and

[39:29] her always with her and Rakesh after a certain point and and later on Catherine Keener is like

[39:34] can you tell her not to bring her crazy friends like like the uh well that was that was something

[39:39] I remember Matt you and I pitched we originally there was the other guy uh who was fused to his

[39:44] couch a shut-in based on you know all the story and and so he went with them to Washington and

[39:50] wherever they were on the bus to Washington all of a sudden in the capital or at the hotel room

[39:55] he was still on his couch yeah we never explained that's right we never

[40:00] how he got there but he would always be there like like you know like job of the hut on his thing

[40:04] just always there at any given space and watching the movie i i i really am upset they cut that out

[40:10] because that would have been amazing i think they shot it they just cut out all the scenes of the

[40:13] guy on the couch really yeah i hope that's true that's disappointing uh they they figured it

[40:20] pushed the movie a little too far that you know that was too wacky yeah yeah they want to keep

[40:25] the more serious tone yeah yeah this is about politics uh so they're doing a photo op in the

[40:29] house office of house speaker buck mccoy he's played by james brolin and now james brolin's

[40:34] taking credit for the moon base bill which annoys keener and alice learns oh the hell did you say

[40:38] it was originally supposed to be james khan it was originally supposed to be james khan and

[40:42] apparently according to wikipedia there was a creative disagreement about his death scene and

[40:46] i think it was probably the fact that james brolin uh it starts choking on a piece of a cookie and

[40:51] kurt fuller tries to give him a heimlich and this is the one of the few times we see his boner is

[40:55] the joke is that his boner keeps jabbing him keeps jabbing james brolin in the butt while he's giving

[40:59] the heimlich my guess is james khan didn't want to do that scene that's my guess so they're like

[41:03] get me another james we need a james that we already started making the credits we wrote the

[41:09] james part but we didn't make the con part so and the backspace katherine keener unplugging it was

[41:16] just so awkward and weird and i know that was so yeah so he's he's choking and they try to

[41:21] defibrillate him and katherine keener now she's mad that he's taking credit so she knocks the plug

[41:26] of the defibrillator out and he dies but it's also like at that point he's dying he's choking so the

[41:31] defibrillator is not the thing to go to i guess it's hard to stop but you gotta remove the

[41:35] obstruction in his trachea that's that's what's gonna save him you know that didn't yeah paul

[41:39] rubin's character you know is is you know does his angry squint some more at katherine keener and

[41:45] through and like this is the moment where he totally loses faith with her as we see later on

[41:50] in the because she did murder the speaker of the house well but he but she but he but she didn't

[41:55] though that's the thing like it's like oh they're trying to they're trying to zap a man who is

[42:01] choking out of choking like so you're suggesting that she did it because she knew it was the wrong

[42:06] treatment you're saying she actually almost saved him by it has no basis on it one way or the other

[42:12] it did seem like it did seem like they wanted all right we need the joke of him getting poked

[42:16] in the ass by the guy with a hard-on but we also want katherine keener to unplug the paddles yeah

[42:22] those two things he can't have the same issue no no no we need both we need both the movie

[42:27] doesn't work without both and dan is having an issue with the medical factuality of the movie

[42:31] where a woman has a nail in her head that causes her to become a nymphomaniac yes uh so at the end

[42:37] also that the girl scouts learned that shakira was never going to come to their rally that happens to

[42:41] uh it's the next it's there it's the speaker's funeral of course alice and all her friends are

[42:46] there how they got invited to what is a fairly sparsely attended funeral for the speaker of the

[42:51] house of representatives the third third in line for the presidency um scott sees her on tv and

[42:57] he's instantly into her again uh and paul rubens is like i know you unplug that defibrillator and

[43:01] katherine keener is like don't ruin this day for me and she just kind of drops it and alice is mad

[43:06] at howard for lying to her about putting the health care writer on the bill she finds out that

[43:09] was never going to happen he says look something dramatic would have to happen to save that health

[43:13] care bill so she gives up she says how's this for dramatic and she gives a big impromptu eulogy

[43:17] where she says that she heard the speaker's dying words and that his dying words were to support the

[43:22] health care bill and were against the moon base and his widow the speaker's widow loves it and

[43:27] everyone applauds and katherine keener is so pissed now her moon base is in the balance because

[43:32] of this this young upstart and howard is like i'm so amazed that you did that uh i love i think i

[43:38] love you and she's like i think i love you too and he goes i'm too scared to face katherine keener

[43:41] though and he jumps out a window and runs away and so alice she decides to form an alliance with the

[43:47] girl scouts now they're selling cookies to support the health care bill and katherine keener

[43:52] retaliates with an anonymous smear accusing this the girl scouts of promoting child lesbianism

[43:57] which seemed like a real low point for the movie and for the characters yeah it was a strange moment

[44:02] but you know yeah i i it happened we have to report the news as it occurs we can't cover up

[44:09] what look future generations need to know about the sins of accidental love you know they can't

[44:13] we can't whitewash this anymore you know uh we've we've had to we have to show them that our gods do

[44:19] have feet of clay you know in this case uh and uh they have a big uh squaw girls girl scout jamboree

[44:25] scott shows up to win alice back uh and he's like actually the katherine keener put me up to it uh

[44:31] but i'll prove myself to you by finding howard representative birdwell so he can introduce that

[44:35] health care bill and he finds howard birdwell at a kind of uh masculinity retreat yeah like an iron

[44:41] john sort of uh like this was a thing that like i don't feel like this was like contemporary really

[44:48] at the time that this movie was made like there was more of an 80s thing i feel like yeah growing

[44:53] up and audrey why he was like why is he at this thing i'm like you know it's one of those

[44:58] masculinity retreats and she's like that's a thing well because growing up also in today's

[45:04] world when you're worried about losing your masculinity you don't go to a retreat where

[45:07] you go around a fire and a loincloth and racial people you get really into conspiracies and you

[45:11] try to overthrow the government like that's what you do when you're worried about your masculinity

[45:14] now so you go you go to a or you like you go to a town that's having uh that's having uh civil uh

[45:21] civil uprisings and you try to shoot people that's what you do now so i so i can see why

[45:25] audrey was confused about it yeah yeah yeah um howard howard bumming us all out that's great

[45:30] yeah there's no problem hey did i bum everybody outside about that let's go yeah i mean it helped

[45:35] the real world does it help to mention again that jake gyllenhaal is completely ripped like he's

[45:39] huge i mean this is like oiled up baby like hell yeah price of admission yeah yes and uh he's like

[45:46] i can't go until i finish uh ritual fire combat with four more people and prove that i'm a man

[45:51] and james bison's like well why don't you just leave and say that you're a man and he's like

[45:55] yeah i can do that what did he take off the table so it's a it's a trophy that he's like i can't go

[46:01] unless i earn this trophy and it's only later after he takes it that it's revealed that it's

[46:04] like moose testicles that he has yeah i guess but so first it just looks like he's grabbing

[46:09] like a bunch of like a couple of rotten crab apples off yeah off a table it looked like baked

[46:13] apples to me yeah yeah yeah baked apples i thought there were prunes so this makes sense yeah that

[46:18] would have been weird if you said prunes yeah i mean hey helps you pass the uh yeah at this point

[46:24] at this point james marston's acting because he is trying to win alice back and like you don't

[46:31] kind of know where any of the characters are like the the romance balance is kind of weird because

[46:36] it i mean like it's called accidental love i went into it assuming it was going to be some kind of

[46:41] romantic comedy and i feel like that's kind of how they pitch the movie at this point because

[46:44] the political stuff didn't quite match anymore i mean we literally have the guys here who pitched

[46:48] the movie did you pitch the movie at all as romantic comedy yeah god i don't know how what

[46:52] it was pitched as well how was this pitch day was just sort of like it was supposed to be it was a

[46:59] romantic comedy a young uh ingenue goes to hollywood to change the world and on her way

[47:04] deals with uh all sorts of love and romance that she's not ready to handle i agree with you steward

[47:10] it's hard to sort of see where you're supposed to come out here because neither of the men are

[47:16] particularly good choices in terms of who they are james marston wants to like abandon her

[47:23] assuming that she seems like she might have health issues and jake gyllenhaal is this sort of like

[47:28] callow uh opportunist and i mean at this point situations where you're like are these the only

[47:35] two men in the world and meanwhile you know she's only kind of shown to be into jake gyllenhaal at

[47:41] least at first because she has a nail in her head i mean to be honest the best the best partner

[47:47] available seems to be tracy morgan all he did was lie about a medical disability that he you know

[47:52] was very embarrassed about otherwise he seems like a real stand-up guy who's supportive immediately

[47:56] committing no he's very nice he seems like very nice he meets rakisha instantly and it's not a

[48:01] pleasant meeting like she's mad at them because they tried to bring a nail gun into congress and

[48:05] he instantly is supportive of her and is just like and never leaves her side and they're together for

[48:10] the rest of the movie when they when they head off in that first scene and and they're like where

[48:14] are you going where we just got here what about our whole and he's like oh this is how it works

[48:18] in the black community it happens really quick we take off i was like what what joke are they

[48:23] referencing or yes yeah that's i feel like that's a stereotype that doesn't exist but they're kind

[48:28] of wheeling it into existence like you know you know how it is with us egyptians we love the

[48:33] circus really is that true well as you know here in japan we're all about collecting hats

[48:41] is that is that something that people say about the japanese anyway uh howard shows up he says

[48:47] he announces that this big j alice is about to tell the uh squaw girl girl scouts which i feel

[48:52] like the movie has a number of sins but for some reason the like obviously they couldn't say girl

[48:59] scouts changing it to girl squaws felt uh i mean obviously it's the time and like but it felt extra

[49:06] tone deaf with i don't know i guess it's probably because i'm watching it now in 2000 uh i mean

[49:12] look i don't i'm not gonna mount a spirited defense of that but i think it probably was

[49:17] intended as like satirical in the way that like you know boy scout organizations you know

[49:23] like i feel like there is an element of in the past of like stealing uh well yeah there's an

[49:31] element of and like in summer camps and then like organizations in summer camps outdoors stuff

[49:37] there's a real history of appropriating the idea yeah yeah indigenous americans and like yeah but

[49:42] the version of the movie that we see does not make that uh doesn't make it that clear yeah

[49:48] doesn't really make it a joke and i can only blame the screenwriters in this case you know

[49:52] if it's not on the page it's not on the stage you know that's just how it is

[49:56] so alice is like we should just give up this is never going to happen when

[50:00] returns with Howard and Howard says I'm going to quit my party and introduce the health care bill

[50:03] and he kisses Alice which really angers Scott and they very briefly fight and then Alice is like

[50:07] I'm sorry that I used you to bring Howard back we use each other now like we're we're Washington

[50:12] people and Scott walks out as the Girl Scouts all argue over which suitor is cuter they're like I

[50:17] like Howard well I like Scott it's like they're both very handsome men like I get it they're both

[50:22] you know it's the uh it's the next day okay we're getting we're in the home stretch of the movie

[50:27] Congress has come into session under temporary speaker Catherine Keener she's going to be voted

[50:32] on she keeps saying remember tomorrow when you vote on the new speaker how how good I was and

[50:37] it's like so what but is this they keep acting as if it's like the first day of the congressional

[50:42] session which it just it's not clear it's not clear where this is in the congressional calendar

[50:45] and why they couldn't just vote today on who the new speaker is it seems like that would be the

[50:49] most important thing to to do right off the bat um but the uh Howard gets up and he proposes the

[50:54] health care bill and that's when Catherine Keener drops the hammer she presents evidence in the form

[50:59] of women that Howard had previously promised bills introduced bills that lobbyists had given him in

[51:06] exchange for sex and she says this must be the same scenario and uh there's multiple shots as the

[51:12] women are walking up it seems unnecessary of congressmen like leering at the women and being

[51:16] like oh yeah like it's so totally it's almost like the movie was like we've got to show that

[51:22] congressmen would find these women sexy or else this this plot point doesn't work so we got to

[51:26] have them all just be like biting their knuckles and just going like oh you know I do like I do

[51:31] like the the shots of Jake Gyllenhaal like trying to make himself smaller and weasel out of it like

[51:36] he's Roman Roy or something yeah yeah it's an odd moment too because like I feel at this at this

[51:44] juncture we're supposed to kind of like Jake Gyllenhaal a bit more and and and I kept expecting

[51:50] like the movie just presents this genuinely like gross behavior on his part and then just kind of

[51:59] leaves it well because here we're seeing we're seeing the behavior of the old Jake Gyllenhaal

[52:04] before yeah I guess with Alice I think it's what it's supposed to be and uh you know they're

[52:08] they're reminding us that he used to be a cad and now he's a catch uh from pad to catch that's my

[52:12] new my new romance novel yeah it's like there's and then the sequel cad catchers uh but it's

[52:20] actually about the uh program cad it's not uh yeah yeah it's a it's a computer thing and of course

[52:25] the sequel cod catchers is just about how hard it is to be a fisherman these days when the oceans

[52:29] are depleted so again I don't mean to blow this out but damn you damn you Poseidon yes I if only

[52:35] Odysseus hadn't pissed him off we'd have plenty of fish to eat but yeah it goes back that far

[52:41] uh so and so everyone's like boo boo but then they're like let Alice speak give her a chance

[52:46] to speak like it's the the congressman really acts just like a local town hall meeting anywhere

[52:51] uh and Alice gives a speech uh and then fake passes out for drama and congress is like yeah

[52:57] yeah let's vote on her health care bill she gives this big rousing speech for it and they vote and

[53:01] it fails by a landslide and then Alice faints for real and Gavin Geter did have a line here that I

[53:07] like she goes health care fails just like always anyway moving on but uh this is also this is a

[53:13] low point for everybody but Keisha learns that Keisha lied to her that Keisha lied to her about

[53:17] his his prolapsed rectum and then and it really offends her that that's why he won't let her near

[53:22] her his butt and he dumps him and reverend norm is like guess it she guesses what's happening with

[53:28] him with with a you know like real perception she's like immediately like oh do you have one

[53:33] of those baboon hats and somebody must have showed her that video yeah yeah reverend norm loses faith

[53:40] in god and uh they see howard shaking hands with paul rubens oh no and he gives a speech

[53:46] recanting his support for alice he reaffirms his support for the moon base bill and he's

[53:50] introducing a new bill to rename the house gym after speaker mccoy james roland's character

[53:55] and alice is disgusted and she leaves and they're back at the motel and she's packing up and then

[54:00] she hears on the tv the news announces that the bill to rename the house gym just passed and it

[54:05] included a rider for health care for people with very specific catastrophic consequences

[54:10] which include her and all of her friends and the anchor goes so i guess everybody else is still on

[54:14] their own which is a funny joke and uh the it turns out nobody read the bill that howard submitted

[54:20] except for paul rubens who didn't tell katherine keener about it because that's what they really

[54:23] shouldn't cancel and we see paul rubens kind of like he like run by in the background and she's

[54:28] being interviewed which is it's like just let peewee be peewee you know every every glimpse

[54:32] we get of it and uh she's like the moon base passed but it doesn't matter anymore and howard

[54:38] scheduled for what they call a rare triple censure but he says on tv it was all worth it

[54:42] uh to help alice who he loves and alice starts kissing his face on the tv which i thought was

[54:48] it was a pretty funny bit where she's like trying to french kiss the television screen

[54:52] um but uh they find out he's he's broadcasting from the parking lot of their motel and so she

[54:57] runs out and kisses him and all all is well we cut to a wedding for a congressional candidate

[55:03] is howard running again uh is alice running are they getting married no it's the marriage of

[55:08] quichon and rakisha and quichon is running for congress something he never seemed interested in

[55:13] until this moment when we see that he's got a campaign button on them and uh they get married

[55:18] and everyone dances through the credits and it goes on for such a long time we see so much dancing

[55:24] from them halfway through the credits there's a scene where alice gets up to give a toast

[55:28] and then a champagne cork hits her in the eye and then and then that scene is over we never

[55:33] hear what she was gonna say and then we get some bloopers mostly jake gyllenhaals and you're like

[55:37] okay we saw them dancing there was a mid-credit scene pre-marvel cinematic universe i think and

[55:43] then we had bloopers the movie must be over no there's more dancing we see them dancing for a

[55:48] long time and she and jessica biel has a bandage over her eye so this is clearly in continuity

[55:53] supposed to be after the scene we saw so it's and i have to admit like watching them dance was

[55:58] probably the most fun i had watching the movie like they they really seem to be into dancing

[56:02] and having a good time for the first time well that was that was the thing about the ending i'm

[56:05] like i'm like oh wait a minute i think i had fun watching this because they're all

[56:10] wait a minute this was they're tricking me at the end into thinking i actually had a good time

[56:14] watching this and it's like and usually i don't like usually i don't like credits where the cast

[56:19] is dancing at the end of barb and star i go to casa omar they started kind of all dancing during

[56:23] the credits and i turned off the tv immediately and said nope and my wife was like i wanted to

[56:27] see that but with this they really i don't know and so did you guys like the dancing part like

[56:34] these aren't bloopers i don't want to watch this well every movie i check every movie we finish i

[56:38] check and see if there's bloops i'm like yeah the card counter where the bloops i want to see i want

[56:42] to see the times he counted the cards wrong uh counter the movie where halfway through i had to

[56:47] pause it and google card counter oscar isaac sunglasses to find that they're only like 250

[56:52] dollars i could get those sunglasses good and so uh guys did you write the part where they with

[56:57] the dancing was that in the original treatment for like 10 minutes i think we wrote the bloopers

[57:01] but no not the dancing okay i don't think we wrote any we didn't really truly didn't write any of this

[57:09] so that was the greatest revelation watching this like oh my gosh we fought for credit

[57:13] got it didn't deserve it and really don't want it yeah i think you deserved that story by story

[57:19] if you had gotten it that way how did it feel when you realized that it was less of what you

[57:23] wrote was it like oh thank god or was it like oh my god all my gold boy uh i think i i i felt well

[57:30] yeah like on one hand relieved like well yeah i i'm not responsible for any of this garbage uh on

[57:35] the other hand uh i i felt real stupid for fighting for it to be fair you didn't fight that hard no

[57:46] it was more about being funny with the way we were fighting for it that was what was more fun

[57:50] about it i think we heard about it for so long and i was always fascinated but not enough to

[57:55] actually watch the movie and in the way back of my head i thought we would watch something

[57:59] fantastically weird you know you could i heard about the cast and i heard the stories you guys

[58:04] heard where they held off shooting the gondola scene till the very end and david russell there's

[58:09] something even in stuff i don't like of his it's amazing and weird but when you watch it it all

[58:14] adds up to i guess elliot put it best watching them dance at the end was the most fun part of

[58:21] the movie it didn't add up to anything outside of you know just not a good movie well it makes you

[58:27] it makes you really wonder it's like it's one of those movies kind of like um mike nichols making

[58:31] day of the dolphin well you're like why was this the movie that this person was making i mean in

[58:35] that case it was a contractual obligation that he had to make a movie so he decided to make a movie

[58:39] about talking dolphins trying to assassinate the president but uh the that you kind of you wonder

[58:44] kind of like what is it did david russell just feel like he needed maybe like a more mainstream

[58:48] movie after i heart huckabees to get back or something like that or is he just a guy who

[58:53] pinballs from one thing to another or what what did he want to do with it you know he was very

[58:57] passionate about this and he had to be because they kept trying to shoot this uh shut the shoot

[59:02] down and he kept fighting and fighting and i mean this was not an easy movie for him to get made

[59:06] so it really was like a passion project for him um so yeah but i i don't understand where i don't

[59:14] understand why but it certainly was um well we said we had one moment that i forgot one other

[59:21] fun story where we were where we were in the development of it and we were talking to the

[59:25] producers with david and the script was terrible at that point and the producers weren't happy with

[59:30] it and then david sort of got kind of quiet on the notes phone call and they're like what's the

[59:35] matter david yeah i don't know you guys aren't making this fun for me anymore and when things

[59:40] aren't fun sometimes i just i kind of just walk away and then all the producers are like oh no no

[59:44] no no david we love it it's gonna be great yeah i was like wow that really worked and it saved the

[59:50] movie so i don't know how oh man maybe he seems he seems like a volatile human being that's some

[59:57] toxic shit there dude

[1:00:00] Well, I know that at least one half of our special guest has to leave for a family obligation.

[1:00:07] So you know, this is probably a good time to do final judgments and wrap up this part

[1:00:14] and then you can go.

[1:00:16] But final judgments, of course, where we say whether the movie was a good, bad movie, a

[1:00:21] bad, bad movie or movie, you kind of like, guys, I got to say, this may be controversial.

[1:00:29] I kind of enjoyed watching this.

[1:00:31] I know that it's not good.

[1:00:33] I wish the listeners could see my face right now.

[1:00:35] It's an expression of of just like, oh, so it is so chopped to pieces like it is clearly

[1:00:43] looking around Dan's apartment like he lives like this.

[1:00:46] I mean, let me let me give my reasons like it is chopped to pieces.

[1:00:52] It is a hobbled movie, but I can squint and see the movie that was trying to be made.

[1:01:00] I can see that there was a talented filmmaker with some ideas behind it.

[1:01:05] Like you don't see a big budget Hollywood movie with stars that is about like political

[1:01:11] issues very frequently.

[1:01:12] Only when Adam McKay's making them.

[1:01:15] Yeah.

[1:01:16] And I don't know, like I the parts that like kind of like still make it through.

[1:01:24] I enjoyed even though, you know, it's only interesting really as a curio of something

[1:01:31] that like could have been something it isn't.

[1:01:34] But I still I still kind of got a kick out of it.

[1:01:36] But what do you guys have to say?

[1:01:37] Yeah.

[1:01:38] You know, I kind of thought like when I was watching it, it did feel like a student film

[1:01:42] that had potential.

[1:01:43] Like you're like, all right, this is not a good film.

[1:01:45] Some of the people behind it.

[1:01:46] Oh, wow.

[1:01:47] They're going to go on to do great things.

[1:01:48] Not me, Dave, but the other people who were involved.

[1:01:54] So yeah.

[1:01:55] So we've got one that's bad, good.

[1:01:58] And Matt, what do you say?

[1:01:59] No, well, no.

[1:02:00] Yours is I kind of liked it.

[1:02:01] Right.

[1:02:02] My bad.

[1:02:03] I liked it a little bit.

[1:02:04] Mine's a bad, bad until the dancing at the end.

[1:02:05] I'm like, oh, wait a minute.

[1:02:06] No, it's good.

[1:02:07] No, bad, bad, bad, bad.

[1:02:10] I think I'm going to go with bad, bad or bad, boring, which is the worst.

[1:02:15] Wow.

[1:02:16] That's the worst.

[1:02:17] That's the worst kind.

[1:02:18] I would say like I feel like the first half was bad, bad, but it was interesting.

[1:02:24] You know, there's something special about a comedy that is made wrong by somebody like

[1:02:31] David O. Russell, who doesn't seem to understand or whoever else took over, who doesn't seem

[1:02:35] to understand like, you know, comedy.

[1:02:39] Despite having a lot of talented comedians involved.

[1:02:43] But then I guess it got kind of bogged down in my lost interest until the dancing, of

[1:02:47] course.

[1:02:48] And then I was back in.

[1:02:49] So bad, bad, baby.

[1:02:50] Yeah.

[1:02:51] I'm going to say bad, bad.

[1:02:52] I agree that it's it feel.

[1:02:53] I think I would I would be more I would be more merciful towards it if it was a student

[1:02:58] film.

[1:02:59] Like it feels like an unfinished student film, but it's not an unfinished student film.

[1:03:04] It's very much a movie that was made by professionals.

[1:03:07] And there's just like I think it kind of gets less and less interesting the more it

[1:03:11] gets into politics and Washington and things like that.

[1:03:15] And there's a I mean, if the movie can't pull off someone not wanting to get the Heimlich

[1:03:21] because they keep getting poked with a boner, then then I don't know what are they what

[1:03:25] are they doing?

[1:03:26] Why are we even here?

[1:03:27] It's like a it's it feels like a yeah, it's just it kind of doesn't know.

[1:03:33] It doesn't know how to tell the jokes that it's that it's trying to tell.

[1:03:37] It does feel like a movie that was not finished.

[1:03:39] Like it looks really weird.

[1:03:40] It looks like it wasn't it wasn't finished, like it wasn't color corrected or anything

[1:03:43] like that.

[1:03:44] But it's so I'm going to say bad, bad, but I'm going to say good, good to our guests.

[1:03:51] And I'm not not the movie, but you know, it's like it's you are the dancing at the end.

[1:03:57] And now this is the dance.

[1:03:58] Yeah.

[1:03:59] Now it's the dancing part.

[1:04:00] But it's it's yeah, it's rare when you watch a movie and the and the best part of it is

[1:04:05] the cast just just having a ball afterwards at what I assume probably doubled as the wrap

[1:04:09] party because they because the funding was so low, you know?

[1:04:13] Yeah, well, I'm glad you guys.

[1:04:15] I'm glad you guys.

[1:04:16] I'm sorry.

[1:04:17] Go ahead.

[1:04:18] Go ahead.

[1:04:19] You see them dancing together and their show and like Jessica Biel and Jake Gyllenhaal

[1:04:23] show chemistry dancing together that they don't show throughout the rest of the movie.

[1:04:27] Like you're and like James Marsden, the rest of them, it's like, oh, they really seem to

[1:04:30] like each other when they're when they're just dancing, when they're not playing the

[1:04:33] characters, you know.

[1:04:35] Matt, what do you say?

[1:04:36] No.

[1:04:37] Yeah, it does.

[1:04:38] It feels like an ensemble of like like friends.

[1:04:39] And you feel like, well, this is a great party.

[1:04:40] It's going to be a fun time.

[1:04:42] But it's not.

[1:04:43] It's terrible.

[1:04:44] But I'm glad you guys made me watch it.

[1:04:47] I was really.

[1:04:49] And now I got my feelings.

[1:04:51] I disagree with you on that one.

[1:04:54] I'm happy to podcast.

[1:04:55] I'm happy to stay on for as long as you want.

[1:04:58] I'm sorry.

[1:04:59] And the time I welcome to our lives, 14 years of my life.

[1:05:04] Yeah.

[1:05:05] That's our life.

[1:05:06] There are times when I look at I keep a list each year of the movies I watch that year.

[1:05:09] And the times I look at the list and I'm like, oh, like, why?

[1:05:12] Why did I fight?

[1:05:13] It's been so much of my life.

[1:05:14] I'm sorry that the money and personal fame isn't enough for me, for you, Elliot.

[1:05:19] Wow.

[1:05:20] I'm just saying it's a high.

[1:05:21] I just remember like I remember thinking to myself, I texted you, Matt, like I could be

[1:05:24] in bed right now scrolling through nonsense on Instagram instead of watching this movie

[1:05:30] I fought credit for that I thought would be interesting.

[1:05:32] Hey there, I'm Ellen Weatherford and I'm Christian Weatherford, and we've got big feelings about

[1:05:40] animals that we just got to share.

[1:05:44] On just the zoo of us, your new favorite animal review podcast.

[1:05:47] We're here to critically evaluate how each animal excels and how it doesn't rating them

[1:05:52] out of 10 on their effectiveness, ingenuity and aesthetics.

[1:05:56] Most experts give you their takes informed by actual real life experiences, studying

[1:06:00] and working with very cool animals like sharks, cheetahs and sea turtles.

[1:06:05] It's a field trip to the zoo for your ears.

[1:06:08] So if you or your kids have ever wondered if a pigeon can count, why sloths move so

[1:06:12] slow or how a spider sees the world.

[1:06:15] Find out with us every Wednesday on just the zoo of us in its natural habitat on maximumfun.org.

[1:06:21] And don't forget to like, share, comment, subscribe, wherever you get your podcasts.

[1:06:29] Somewhere between science and superstition, there is a podcast.

[1:06:35] Look, your daughter doesn't say she's a demon.

[1:06:39] She says she's the devil himself.

[1:06:41] That thing is not my daughter.

[1:06:44] And I want you to tell me there's a show where the hosts don't just report on French science

[1:06:49] and spirituality, but take part themselves.

[1:06:54] Well there is.

[1:06:55] And it's Oh No!

[1:06:56] Ross and Carrie on Maximum Fun.

[1:06:58] This year we actually became certified exorcists.

[1:07:02] So yes, Carrie and I can help your daughter.

[1:07:05] Or we can just talk about it on the show.

[1:07:08] Oh No!

[1:07:09] Ross and Carrie on maximumfun.org.

[1:07:12] Everybody, I've got some exciting news for you now that we're done talking about accidental

[1:07:17] love, aka nailed.

[1:07:18] And the exciting news is, that's right, the Flophouse is coming back live again on your

[1:07:23] computer screens, just like last year.

[1:07:25] But again, it's been a while.

[1:07:27] You haven't seen us in a few months.

[1:07:29] So it's time for us to show our pretty faces to you and remind you that we are aging somewhat.

[1:07:36] We're going to get to see Elliot's garage again.

[1:07:38] You get to see my garage again and my big Bolton board with new things on it, hopefully

[1:07:42] not the same Super Mario Brothers page that's still up there on the Bolton board.

[1:07:46] We're going to be doing a live show online, not in person, but online Saturday, March

[1:07:51] 19th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[1:07:55] We're going to be talking about, I'm very excited about this one, Masters of the Universe.

[1:07:59] That's right.

[1:08:00] The He-Man movie with such big stars as Dolph Lundgren, Courtney Cox and Billy Barty and

[1:08:04] Frank Langella.

[1:08:05] I was so excited about Billy Barty that I mentioned him before Frank Langella.

[1:08:09] But this is a movie that I have not seen since I was a kid.

[1:08:12] I have very few memories of it, except that at one point they eat chicken and I'm very

[1:08:18] excited to see it with these guys again.

[1:08:20] So is that the origin of your chicken love in a like Last Crusade sort of way?

[1:08:26] Like all in one day, you know, you like fell into a vat of chicken and watched Masters

[1:08:33] of the Universe.

[1:08:34] Masters of the Universe was screening somehow inside a vat of chicken.

[1:08:36] I guess they use it to keep the chickens sedated and you were going to you're going to drown

[1:08:39] in the chicken and then Spider-Man saved you.

[1:08:42] I don't know.

[1:08:43] You saw a dinosaur.

[1:08:44] Yes.

[1:08:45] A dinosaur.

[1:08:46] Yeah.

[1:08:47] And then you went to an old movie.

[1:08:48] Exactly.

[1:08:49] It all happened that one day.

[1:08:50] It was a big day.

[1:08:51] Let me check my diaries.

[1:08:52] You have it all checks out.

[1:08:53] So that's Saturday, March 19th at 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern or rather 9 p.m. Eastern,

[1:08:58] 6 p.m. Pacific.

[1:08:59] We're going to be talking about Masters of the Universe.

[1:09:01] It's one of our live shows.

[1:09:02] We're going to have PowerPoint presentations we do at the beginning that are exclusive

[1:09:05] to this show.

[1:09:06] We'll never do them again.

[1:09:07] We're going to have a live question answer afterwards where you can write your questions

[1:09:10] into the chat box or whatever.

[1:09:13] And we'll read it.

[1:09:14] We'll try to have some audience polls in the middle of it.

[1:09:16] Lots of fun stuff.

[1:09:17] We'll get you involved.

[1:09:18] You make the call.

[1:09:19] You be on the show somewhat.

[1:09:21] And as always with these shows, if you can't make it to that date, if you buy a ticket,

[1:09:25] you'll have access to a recording of the live show for a week afterwards.

[1:09:29] So let's say you live in a part of the world where Saturday at 9 p.m. Eastern is not the

[1:09:33] easiest time for you to get on your computer and start watching something.

[1:09:36] Don't worry.

[1:09:37] Get a ticket.

[1:09:38] It's only $10 and you'll get a week's worth of access to the recordings.

[1:09:41] You still get to watch it.

[1:09:43] So it's Saturday, March 19th, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[1:09:46] The Flophouse is going to head on into elder millennial nostalgia with Masters of the Universe,

[1:09:51] the movie.

[1:09:52] And it's only $10.

[1:09:53] You want to buy a ticket?

[1:09:54] I know you do.

[1:09:55] Go to the flophouse dot SimpleTix dot com.

[1:09:59] That's SimpleTix.

[1:10:00] TheFlophouse.SimpleTix.com or also tinyurl.com slash FlophouseLive.

[1:10:05] Those are the two links.

[1:10:06] Go to them and buy a ticket.

[1:10:09] Why not?

[1:10:10] It's going to be fun.

[1:10:11] We'll be there.

[1:10:12] Why not?

[1:10:13] Yeah, why not?

[1:10:14] Why not?

[1:10:15] Give me one reason why not.

[1:10:16] Exactly.

[1:10:17] Why not?

[1:10:18] I couldn't hear.

[1:10:19] There's none.

[1:10:20] So we'll be there.

[1:10:21] I hope you will be too.

[1:10:22] Saturday, March 19th, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6% Pacific, but you will have access to the recording

[1:10:23] for a week afterwards.

[1:10:24] Thank you.

[1:10:25] We got some sponsors.

[1:10:26] The Flophouse is overwhelmingly kept in business by the contributions of listeners like you.

[1:10:31] Like you.

[1:10:32] But we have some lovely advertisers, including Stitch Fix.

[1:10:37] Your style isn't one size fits all.

[1:10:40] It's about what suits your body and what suits the moment.

[1:10:43] So why not shop at a store that is personalized to your size and style?

[1:10:49] Stitch Fix Freestyle is your trusted style destination where you can discover and instantly

[1:10:55] buy curated items based on your style, likes, and lifestyle.

[1:10:59] Whether you're looking for a brand you love or to try a new one at Stitch Fix Freestyle,

[1:11:05] you can shop over a thousand brands and styles personalized to your size and fit.

[1:11:10] Plus there's no subscription required and they offer free shipping, returns, and exchanges.

[1:11:17] You know, I use Stitch Fix Freestyle.

[1:11:21] The shirt I'm wearing is actually a Stitch Fix thing.

[1:11:24] I was going to say, I like it.

[1:11:25] Not to mention it looks really nice.

[1:11:26] Your shirt.

[1:11:27] Yeah.

[1:11:28] You know, we can't all be a Stuart Wellington who used the pandemic to get more into shape.

[1:11:33] In my personal experience, I got less in shape and I needed some new clothes to fit my new

[1:11:39] body and Stitch Fix Freestyle really helped me out on that.

[1:11:43] I appreciate it.

[1:11:44] I mean, I also needed new clothes.

[1:11:46] Yeah, yeah.

[1:11:47] I needed new clothes.

[1:11:48] Stuart also had a new body.

[1:11:49] All my shirts got ripped out.

[1:11:50] That's true.

[1:11:51] Stuart's new, hotter body.

[1:11:52] Your muscles were just busting through the seams.

[1:11:55] Yeah.

[1:11:56] That was the stitch that needed fixing.

[1:11:57] I kept blowing the crotch out of all my pants.

[1:12:01] That's because that lady popped the button off of it with her stiletto heel.

[1:12:06] But anyway, let's get started with Stitch Fix today by filling out your style quiz at

[1:12:13] stitchfix.com slash flop house.

[1:12:16] That's stitchfix.com slash flop house.

[1:12:19] Just try Stitch Fix Freestyle.

[1:12:22] Stitch Fix.com slash flop house.

[1:12:26] This podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy.

[1:12:30] We talk about BetterHelp a lot on this show because they sponsor us.

[1:12:33] And let's talk about some of the stigmas around mental health.

[1:12:36] A lot of people think that it is something that you only need when you are falling apart.

[1:12:41] You should wait till life is just completely unbearable and you are bursting at the seams

[1:12:45] like Stuart's clothes.

[1:12:46] But that's not true.

[1:12:47] The therapy is a tool that you can use anytime in your life.

[1:12:51] You can use it before things get worse.

[1:12:52] I call it preventative maintenance.

[1:12:53] That's what they call it in the military.

[1:12:56] And it can help you avoid getting to the place where you feel like you're unbalanced and

[1:12:59] things are falling apart.

[1:13:00] I'm a big believer in therapy.

[1:13:02] I've used it a lot myself.

[1:13:04] It's a special time for me to focus on myself and have someone else there to bounce ideas

[1:13:09] about myself off of or just to listen to me.

[1:13:12] Because growing up in a house full of Jewish people, I was not listened to often because

[1:13:18] everyone was always talking all the time.

[1:13:19] And now as the parent of two young boys, I am also not listened to ever at all by anybody.

[1:13:26] Anytime I try to read a historical plaque to them, they just walk away.

[1:13:28] They will not listen.

[1:13:31] Try it out.

[1:13:32] Better help my could-be-your.

[1:13:33] Is that what you do in your therapy sessions?

[1:13:34] You read your therapist a bunch of historical plaques?

[1:13:37] I've taken pictures of the historical plaques my children would listen to and I just read

[1:13:40] them to him.

[1:13:41] And he goes, oh, interesting.

[1:13:42] So therapy, it's a useful thing for whatever you need it to, either whether you're just

[1:13:45] tuning yourself up, whether you need space to talk out just the things you need to talk

[1:13:49] out to get out the emotions that you don't have an outlet for, or just to spend time

[1:13:54] focusing on yourself, which is valuable to all of us.

[1:13:57] We're living in the end times of civilization.

[1:14:00] Things are rough.

[1:14:01] Why not take some time for yourself?

[1:14:03] Maybe better help is your way to do that.

[1:14:04] It's a customized online therapy that offers video phone or even live chat sessions with

[1:14:08] therapists if you don't want to be on camera, which I know I sometimes feel like it can

[1:14:13] be more affordable than in-person therapy.

[1:14:14] You can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours.

[1:14:17] Try it out.

[1:14:18] The person they match it to the first time might not be the right person, so you might

[1:14:21] try it out again.

[1:14:22] That's the thing with therapy.

[1:14:24] Sometimes it takes time to find the right therapist relationship, but when you do, it

[1:14:27] can be really, really rewarding and something that just helps you when you need the help.

[1:14:33] Give it a try.

[1:14:34] See why over 2 million people have used Better Help Online Therapy.

[1:14:37] And because this podcast is sponsored by Better Help, Flophouse listeners get 10% off their

[1:14:42] first month at Better Help.

[1:14:44] Go to betterhelp.com slash flop.

[1:14:47] That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash F-L-O-P for 10% off your first month.

[1:14:54] Try it out.

[1:14:55] See if this is the way that therapy is right for you, and maybe it'll help you to get to

[1:15:00] a place where you are finally saying, hey, I don't mind that we're in the end stages

[1:15:04] of civilization anymore because I'm doing okay.

[1:15:08] And what's that?

[1:15:09] It looks like we have a jumbotron, and this message is for Clara, and the message is from

[1:15:17] Derek.

[1:15:18] You're a real Bobby Dazzler, and I can't think of anyone else to flee a foreign country before

[1:15:24] their borders close with than you.

[1:15:27] I'll never kick you out of bed for eating crackers, no matter how much bedroom honey

[1:15:32] and crumbs you get on the sheets.

[1:15:35] You want to wistfully look at me through a window and be my top pocket find in matrimony

[1:15:41] forever?

[1:15:43] Was that a proposal?

[1:15:44] It might have been a proposal.

[1:15:46] I hope that I did it right then, because, yeah, you got to write in and let us know

[1:15:52] how that went.

[1:15:53] There's a Clara or a Clara out there with a Derek.

[1:15:58] Man, there's a real minefield.

[1:16:01] Write in to Stuart Wellington, ruin my relationship, care of the Flophouse, if that's what happens.

[1:16:06] Or write in to Stuart Wellington, made my dreams come true, care of the Flophouse, if

[1:16:10] that's what happens.

[1:16:11] If you want Stuart to make your dreams come true, you can get up on the jumbotron by going

[1:16:19] to MaximumFun.org slash jumbotron, where you can get a personal message for $100 or a promotional

[1:16:26] one for $200, dreams coming true via Stuart, not guaranteed.

[1:16:32] But Stuart and Elliot, do you have anything you want to plug before we get back to the

[1:16:35] meat of the show?

[1:16:36] I have a couple of bars, Hinterland's Bar and Minnie's Bar.

[1:16:39] You should go support them and check them out if you are comfortable going out in New

[1:16:42] York City, that is.

[1:16:44] And my new series of Maniac of New York comics is on store shelves now, so that's Maniac

[1:16:49] of New York from Aftershock Comics.

[1:16:51] Ask for it by name.

[1:16:52] If your local comic store doesn't have it, ask them to order it for you.

[1:16:56] Maniac of New York from Aftershock Comics.

[1:17:02] Okay, well, now let's roll right into letters from listeners.

[1:17:08] Like you.

[1:17:09] Like you.

[1:17:10] Me?

[1:17:11] But I'm not, I mean, I'm listening right now, but I'm not, I'm one of the co-hosts, I'm

[1:17:13] not a listener.

[1:17:14] Yeah, you can still write a letter if you really wanted to, if you want your voice to

[1:17:18] be fucking heard.

[1:17:19] Okay, maybe, yeah, this is my chance to finally express my opinion on the show.

[1:17:23] Dear Dan and Stuart, hey, it's Elliot, your friend, how are things going?

[1:17:28] So I've got some bad news.

[1:17:30] Maybe I should tell you later.

[1:17:31] Okay, probably.

[1:17:32] This doesn't seem like the best time.

[1:17:33] So expect another letter from me where that's more on topic.

[1:17:36] Now I'm going to be worried about that bad news.

[1:17:39] I do have a question.

[1:17:40] What's your favorite thing about working with Elliot?

[1:17:42] I hope it's something good.

[1:17:43] Love the show.

[1:17:44] Keep on flopping.

[1:17:45] Love, Elliot.

[1:17:46] You know what?

[1:17:47] My favorite thing about working with Elliot is I know that if I find myself at a loss

[1:17:51] for words, which does happen frequently, I can count on Elliot to plug that hole in the

[1:17:56] sinking ship.

[1:17:57] Oh, wait.

[1:17:58] That's technically a good thing.

[1:18:00] Yeah, we got another letter.

[1:18:01] It looks like.

[1:18:02] Dear Dan.

[1:18:03] Hey, it's Elliot again.

[1:18:04] I heard what you said.

[1:18:05] And while it was phrased as a compliment, it was kind of a dig.

[1:18:08] I don't know that I really appreciate you're talking about me that way.

[1:18:12] I mean, it makes sense because I've spent many years insulting you on the podcast, but

[1:18:17] it still seems a little bit like you was kind of a backhanded compliment.

[1:18:21] Was I reading too much?

[1:18:22] Wait, the letter is not over, Dan.

[1:18:24] Was I reading too much?

[1:18:25] Was I reading too much into it?

[1:18:26] Again, let's make those plans so I can tell you that bad news that I have.

[1:18:29] I'm so worried about this bad news.

[1:18:30] Keep on flopping.

[1:18:31] Stay cool.

[1:18:32] Have a great summer.

[1:18:33] Love, Elliot.

[1:18:34] No, no, Elliot.

[1:18:35] I just now we're getting into real, real stuff here.

[1:18:38] I know I, as is often the case with me, who is maybe a kind hearted man who doesn't know

[1:18:45] how to express such things and often is rude accidentally.

[1:18:50] I genuinely appreciate the fact that I know that you always have my back, both both as

[1:18:56] a friend and on the show with some sort of private as a hole in a ship.

[1:19:03] And then when he can't talk, you're sinking and you saved his life with your constant

[1:19:08] never ending babble.

[1:19:10] Yeah.

[1:19:11] We got another letter coming in.

[1:19:12] Hold on, dear Daniel Kirk McCoy.

[1:19:17] Our client, Elliot Kalin, has decided not to bring action against you after hearing

[1:19:23] your recent explanation, though he was has initiated legal proceedings against you on

[1:19:28] charges of slander and defamation.

[1:19:31] He has decided after remembering your friendship not to do so.

[1:19:35] Please consider this a favor.

[1:19:36] He has done you.

[1:19:37] You now owe him a favor in a very legally binding sense.

[1:19:41] Wow.

[1:19:42] Sincerely, yours.

[1:19:43] Love the law offices of Kalin, Kalin and Kalin.

[1:19:46] So, yes.

[1:19:47] P.S.

[1:19:48] We are not related to Elliot Kalin and therefore it is still ethical for us to represent him

[1:19:51] in court.

[1:19:53] Well, I was worried.

[1:19:54] So, Elliot, I haven't been able to give you a compliment yet, but before I do that, I'm

[1:19:57] going to need your birth date, the location of your birth.

[1:20:00] and the time you were born.

[1:20:02] It seems like a lot of information.

[1:20:07] Put that on the podcast.

[1:20:09] Well, Stuart, I'll give you that information later,

[1:20:11] so that I guess you can have access to my bank account.

[1:20:14] And, Dan, what's our other letter?

[1:20:16] Are there any letters that are not from me today?

[1:20:19] We have a couple of them.

[1:20:20] This first one is from Kevin Lassing with Held, who writes,

[1:20:23] Hey, floppers, I know it's become a popular cliché

[1:20:26] to complain that Hollywood doesn't have any original ideas anymore.

[1:20:30] Does it ever.

[1:20:31] Even though I think people have probably been saying that

[1:20:34] since the concept of Hollywood became a thing.

[1:20:37] But as trite as it sounds, I've been thinking lately

[1:20:39] about films that have potential to be good,

[1:20:41] but suffer too much from their connection to the source material.

[1:20:45] For example, I think I would have enjoyed the movie Joker a lot more

[1:20:50] if it had been the story of a failed comedian

[1:20:52] dealing with a murderous, trauma-induced mental illness

[1:20:55] and didn't also have to carry the burden of the Joker mythology.

[1:20:59] Or, in a different vein, I would have found The Greatest Showman

[1:21:03] more appealing as an ambitious musical about a fictional circus manager

[1:21:09] than a biopic about terrible human being P.T. Barnum.

[1:21:13] Plus, the creators could likely have made more interesting choices

[1:21:17] without them feeling out of place.

[1:21:19] I'm curious, do you all have movies that you wish

[1:21:21] had been disconnected from the larger stories that inspired them?

[1:21:24] Thanks for considering Kevin Lastname withheld.

[1:21:27] One thing that came to my mind is a movie that I'm sure

[1:21:30] that we will cover on the podcast at some point,

[1:21:32] Ghostbusters Afterlife, which I saw because my friends were like,

[1:21:37] you want to see Ghostbusters Afterlife?

[1:21:39] I'm like, yeah, whatever. I'll do whatever dumb thing.

[1:21:41] Well, thanks for providing that backstory, Dan.

[1:21:44] That was an amazing tale.

[1:21:45] Dan's found a clown, everybody.

[1:21:47] I'm just so glad we could hear that story of tragedy

[1:21:50] and triumph against the odds.

[1:21:52] I mean, I think it would be slightly unusual that I ran out

[1:21:57] and saw Ghostbusters Afterlife without encouragement.

[1:22:00] I would say it falls squarely within your demographic

[1:22:02] as someone who grew up watching Ghostbusters.

[1:22:04] Yeah, but I knew, like the, I would just say that the trailer

[1:22:08] contained nothing that appealed to me.

[1:22:10] Oh, I see.

[1:22:11] But having seen it.

[1:22:13] I remember talking to you once and you said,

[1:22:14] you know what was missing from Ghostbusters?

[1:22:16] Cornfields.

[1:22:17] I wish it wasn't set in New York because I wanted more cornfields.

[1:22:19] But they kept the orangutan Ghostbuster, right?

[1:22:22] That's a different, that's the original.

[1:22:25] So you're saying it's based on the original, original Ghostbusters.

[1:22:28] There's two guys and an orangutan.

[1:22:30] No, I, this is a weird thing to say for a movie that is so much fan service.

[1:22:38] Like it seems like without the connection to Ghostbusters,

[1:22:40] there's no movie left.

[1:22:42] But the stuff in it that I enjoyed had nothing to do with Ghostbusters.

[1:22:46] I mean, particularly also there's a whole nother level of poisonousness

[1:22:50] of like it coming after the female-led Ghostbusters and all the like,

[1:22:55] I'm giving it back to the fans bullshit, which is like, you know,

[1:22:57] it's a, it is categorically a worse movie than the Ghostbusters

[1:23:02] that was all women.

[1:23:03] But the parts of it that were not Ghostbusters,

[1:23:06] I kind of enjoyed as like, oh, this is an attempt to do like

[1:23:10] an Amblin style movie.

[1:23:13] And I like Carrie Coon a lot.

[1:23:15] And I like McKenna Grace, the young actress who plays Egon's granddaughter.

[1:23:23] He's very good at it, I thought.

[1:23:25] And there's just stuff in it.

[1:23:27] I'm like, wow, if this was unburdened from being a Ghostbusters movie,

[1:23:30] I could see myself enjoying this.

[1:23:33] But the fact that it is a largely humorless film that is based on a

[1:23:38] straight-up comedy is really tripping points.

[1:23:41] But what other ones do you have?

[1:23:44] I would really, which I haven't seen Ghostbusters After Life yet,

[1:23:47] and I would really like to do it for the podcast at some point.

[1:23:50] So we'll see.

[1:23:52] For me, I think I've talked about this on the podcast before.

[1:23:55] I think that the movie Solo from, this is the movie Solo from 2018,

[1:24:00] a Star Wars story, not Solo starring Mario Van Peebles from 1996,

[1:24:04] which is not connected to a previously existing.

[1:24:06] It's a good movie.

[1:24:07] It's based on a novel, I guess, which is a great movie.

[1:24:10] But the movie Solo, a Star Wars story, that I would,

[1:24:13] I think I would have enjoyed it more,

[1:24:16] and I think people would have liked it more if it was not a Star Wars movie.

[1:24:19] Because then it becomes just kind of like a fun science fiction adventure

[1:24:23] movie, and you don't have the worst parts of it,

[1:24:25] which is explaining how he got the name Solo,

[1:24:28] explaining where his jacket came from,

[1:24:30] explaining how Chewbacca got the nickname Chewie.

[1:24:33] You lose all that stuff.

[1:24:37] They made the movie where, I'm pretty sure the pitch was,

[1:24:40] we finally get to find out where he got his name.

[1:24:42] Yeah.

[1:24:43] It's like Solo's a weird name.

[1:24:45] How did he get that?

[1:24:46] Yeah.

[1:24:47] In a galaxy filled with normal style names.

[1:24:49] Yeah.

[1:24:50] We can finally explain how Dengar or Salacious Crumb or Greedo got their names.

[1:24:54] We'll see.

[1:24:57] Greedo is greedy.

[1:24:58] He is greedy.

[1:24:59] And he's Italian.

[1:25:00] And Rodians are named for the trait they'll probably have when they grow up.

[1:25:04] Greedo, the lost Marx brother.

[1:25:06] Yeah.

[1:25:07] The same way that, well, because he's not lost.

[1:25:08] He was shot.

[1:25:09] That's why he wasn't in any of the movies.

[1:25:10] He was shot by Han Solo.

[1:25:12] But it feels like it's a fun movie that only suffers from comparison and

[1:25:20] connection with the other Star Wars movies.

[1:25:22] And I'm sure that I'll feel that way about some Marvel movie that comes up

[1:25:27] someday where I'll be like,

[1:25:29] I kind of wish this wasn't like a Marvel connected movie.

[1:25:32] It hasn't happened yet, but it will.

[1:25:34] Stuart, what about you?

[1:25:36] I mean, I don't think I really have much to add to it.

[1:25:39] I mean, I feel like Solo is such an obvious example,

[1:25:42] but I feel like for the most part,

[1:25:44] I would prefer more sci-fi properties that aren't tied to an existing

[1:25:50] property, like sci-fi movies and shows.

[1:25:54] Well, I would say, and I'm sure you'd probably be okay with an adaptation of

[1:25:58] a book, just not a show that is tied into like a large universe of

[1:26:02] preexisting films or TV shows.

[1:26:04] Yeah, I don't need it.

[1:26:05] I'd rather watch something like fucking Raised by Wolves,

[1:26:08] that wacky sci-fi Ridley Scott show that's basically like a heavy metal

[1:26:12] comic come to life than something that's Star Wars-y right now.

[1:26:18] Yeah.

[1:26:19] This is the one I thought of,

[1:26:21] which is weird because I really enjoyed this movie.

[1:26:25] Did you guys see Rampage?

[1:26:27] No, I didn't see it.

[1:26:28] I remember the game very well.

[1:26:30] I remember the game very well.

[1:26:32] It got me into the theater.

[1:26:35] My son and I loved it.

[1:26:36] It's a lot of fun,

[1:26:37] but I was randomly talking about this before you guys told me about this

[1:26:41] letter.

[1:26:42] The beginning of the movie is The Rock,

[1:26:44] who is very antisocial, doesn't go out, doesn't have friends,

[1:26:47] doesn't want to date,

[1:26:48] but mostly because he's really close to his favorite gorilla.

[1:26:53] And at nighttime, he doesn't want to go home.

[1:26:55] He only does whatever he has to do and then comes back to work to hang out

[1:26:59] with his gorilla.

[1:27:00] And that's sort of the little through line is it's not until the end that he

[1:27:03] makes a friend.

[1:27:04] It's not really a romantic connection, just any friend.

[1:27:07] But the beginning of the movie is so fun because people are pushing him to

[1:27:10] go have a social life, and it's The Rock.

[1:27:12] And he's not made up to look less like The Rock.

[1:27:15] He's good looking.

[1:27:16] He's charming.

[1:27:17] He's beefcake.

[1:27:18] He's super charismatic.

[1:27:19] He's super sexy.

[1:27:20] But the only friend he has is this gorilla.

[1:27:23] It's the only one he can connect to.

[1:27:25] He really has to get back early in the morning so he can hang out with his

[1:27:28] gorilla.

[1:27:29] And my son and I were going,

[1:27:30] it would be really fun to watch a movie about if you got rid of the rampage

[1:27:34] part where ultimately him, a giant wolf,

[1:27:36] and this other creature took down the city.

[1:27:39] If it was just about like a you, me, and Dupree, him, this gorilla,

[1:27:43] and the new girl in his life seemed like a much more,

[1:27:46] a much funnier, more original movie.

[1:27:48] If you could just shed the whole we need to destroy buildings with giant

[1:27:52] animals.

[1:27:53] Yeah.

[1:27:54] So when you watch the movie, I highly recommend if you don't,

[1:27:56] just I think that's another option,

[1:27:58] another direction the movie could have gone that we would have liked.

[1:28:01] I feel like that's the kind of direction,

[1:28:02] like if they had made that movie in the 80s when they're like,

[1:28:05] we don't have the budget to destroy a city,

[1:28:07] but we do have a budget to hang out a lot.

[1:28:09] It's like how the original, the Tim Burton Batman movie,

[1:28:14] every time I watch it, I'm like,

[1:28:16] I forgot how much of this movie is the Joker just watching television and

[1:28:19] getting mad at the television.

[1:28:20] Like there's a lot of that and it's,

[1:28:22] it's fun to watch characters hang out sometimes.

[1:28:24] Yeah.

[1:28:25] This last letter is,

[1:28:28] it falls under the correction house side of letters.

[1:28:33] This is from Joseph.

[1:28:35] What did I say wrong about?

[1:28:37] It's not you.

[1:28:39] I think it was me this time.

[1:28:40] Cause I often,

[1:28:41] I often get minor things wrong about like Star Wars and people are like,

[1:28:44] excuse me actually.

[1:28:45] And I go,

[1:28:46] I'm the one who's supposed to do that.

[1:28:47] I don't like it being done to me.

[1:28:48] So this whole podcast has been an elaborate way of teaching you.

[1:28:53] We got to keep doing it.

[1:28:55] Cause I still have not learned my lesson.

[1:28:57] Not sure if David's jurisdiction extends to obscure non-American hyper

[1:29:03] regionally specific sports,

[1:29:05] but I believe the peaches may have misidentified the sport being played in

[1:29:09] house of Gucci.

[1:29:11] Now you're referring to what David Kalin is the David they're talking about,

[1:29:15] right?

[1:29:16] Yes.

[1:29:17] Not our guest today,

[1:29:18] not our guest today,

[1:29:19] Dave Jester,

[1:29:20] but my brother's sports fan,

[1:29:21] David Kalin.

[1:29:22] Got it.

[1:29:23] Yeah.

[1:29:24] While rugby is a very physical sport,

[1:29:26] you are not allowed to just brawl in order to clear a path for the ball to

[1:29:30] be carried.

[1:29:31] A sport where this is allowed is Calcio Fiorentino or Calcio

[1:29:36] Storico normally translate translated as historic football or Florentine

[1:29:41] kicking game.

[1:29:42] I like that.

[1:29:43] The game is basically now.

[1:29:45] That sounds like the bootleg version of football that you would buy at a

[1:29:48] boutique.

[1:29:49] Yeah.

[1:29:50] Florentine kicking game.

[1:29:51] Yeah.

[1:29:52] Like,

[1:29:53] Oh no.

[1:29:54] Grandma got me 64 tape of,

[1:29:55] uh,

[1:29:56] I wanted the super bowl and she got me Florentine kicking game.

[1:30:00] games you couldn't tell the difference. It's still got John Madden on it though.

[1:30:03] Oh rest in peace. There's a yearly tournament between the four quarters of

[1:30:07] Florence played in Piazza Santa Croce. I think

[1:30:10] that might be what they were playing but I'm not sure.

[1:30:13] For Elliot who has stopped listening by now the sport has a comics connection.

[1:30:18] Megaton from the comic Bitch Planet is based on the game.

[1:30:22] Joseph Lester. So there you go. Why does that writer

[1:30:28] assume Elliot stopped listening? Is that a thing on the podcast you often

[1:30:32] No I mean it just it was a correct assumption because I don't really I

[1:30:35] don't I just don't not that interested in sports and didn't really need to know

[1:30:38] uh but but I'm glad that they brought me back. That was when I heard my name again

[1:30:42] I said huh what and I stopped thinking about I

[1:30:44] stopped thinking about a cowboy riding a Deinonychus across the across the

[1:30:48] American desert uh being chased by other cowboys that are

[1:30:52] riding like uh you know Tyrannosaurus. Yeah talk about a real blood meridian.

[1:30:56] Well now no there's no dinosaurs in Blood Meridians too.

[1:31:00] What wait for real? Yeah you gotta reread that book. I think you were

[1:31:03] imagining them riding dinosaurs which is not in the text. I mean maybe you

[1:31:07] could bring it in your adaptation. I think this is why Carson McCullers has

[1:31:10] been has been denying your your attempts to adapt it into a screenplay

[1:31:14] every time. Who's Carson McCullers? I'm sorry I meant Cormac McCarthy.

[1:31:18] Did he write the book I read? No no sorry yeah you know what it is is

[1:31:22] that Carson McCullers is Blood Meridian a

[1:31:24] different book is uh is dinosaurs and Cormac McCarthy is not.

[1:31:28] As we established in a previous episode Cormac McCarthy is is all about freaking

[1:31:31] people out and doing things that are real.

[1:31:33] F**ked it up. Dropping some twisted f**ked up s**t on y'all norms.

[1:31:36] Yeah um let's let's move into the last segment which is of course uh

[1:31:42] recommendations of films that maybe you should watch instead of the one we

[1:31:46] watched uh for this podcast. Although if you

[1:31:50] watch if you watch the one that we watched today uh do

[1:31:52] Dave do you get residuals still for it? Oh I can't imagine.

[1:31:56] In the end when we finally did get credit

[1:31:59] the production company had gone bankrupt so we never

[1:32:05] money we never got the credit uh we needed for

[1:32:08] health insurance so I can't imagine I make any money but I

[1:32:12] you might be able to maybe there's something legally where you can assert

[1:32:14] ownership of the rights now you can own the movie and do what you want with it.

[1:32:18] Uh that's a great idea would you guys help me edit another version

[1:32:22] or just an hour and a half of dancing we just pour through the unused

[1:32:26] the unused dancing footage and see what we can cobble together.

[1:32:30] Yeah we open we open on dancing accidental dancing um they're dancing

[1:32:36] and then it says you're probably wondering how we got to

[1:32:39] this dance well let me explain and then it just cuts to more dancing.

[1:32:42] Always cool always a good idea um so for my recommendation um I'm gonna

[1:32:49] mispronounce some more Italian words and say that uh

[1:32:54] I watched uh Tenebrae recently on Shudder and uh you know I

[1:33:01] I'm coming around on like Italian horror I'm up and down on for some reason

[1:33:07] the illogic and uh strange plots bother me more in

[1:33:13] supernatural horror but um jellos where it's just you know a slasher

[1:33:20] whodunit I I'm I find that I'm fond of them and I I guess you know as a

[1:33:25] Brian De Palma fan it's not weird that I would like just like sleazy weird

[1:33:31] uh murder mysteries uh and Tenebrae is is is a really over the top one where

[1:33:36] it's like it just seems like uh Argento is fucking around and being

[1:33:41] like let me construct a bunch of elaborate uh thriller sequences just to

[1:33:48] show off and uh is that the one with Max von

[1:33:52] Seidau and somebody kills somebody with a flute

[1:33:54] uh no it's not that you know John Saxon is in it

[1:33:58] uh as a he's not the main character he's like the

[1:34:02] the main character is a book author uh you know like a

[1:34:07] writer of thrillers who then gets involved in uh

[1:34:10] murders in Italy where uh someone is doing copycat stuff and uh

[1:34:17] I don't it's just it it is one of these movies that is just

[1:34:22] absurd plotting uh thriller set pieces and sleaze and if

[1:34:28] that's your kind of thing it's fun uh Stuart what do you got

[1:34:33] uh I'm gonna recommend a movie that I don't know

[1:34:37] uh that's that's up for a couple of awards right now

[1:34:40] uh it's the new Sean Baker movie called Red

[1:34:43] Rocket uh it's uh kind of follows along Sean Baker's

[1:34:48] uh movies that are like kind of I feel like they kind of walk the line of

[1:34:52] exploitative um and it is about a down on his luck

[1:34:58] uh porn star former male porn star who uh goes back to the small town in

[1:35:03] Texas that he's from uh he's at a very low point and he has to

[1:35:06] hustle his way back on top um and he is a

[1:35:12] like a shitty scheming hustler character but there's also a certain amount of

[1:35:17] charm and charisma to him uh and he also runs around you get to see his giant

[1:35:21] dong flopping uh and it has probably the single best use

[1:35:26] of the one song that's uh that's featured in the movie uh so I

[1:35:30] totally recommend it for that um but it is like it's a difficult it can

[1:35:33] be a difficult movie to watch uh partly because uh I mean there's

[1:35:38] there's a certain amount of grooming and sexual creepiness between an

[1:35:42] older man and a younger woman uh but uh it I found it to be a like a

[1:35:47] fun and like tense movie uh I'm going to recommend

[1:35:52] a movie I've been on a little bit of a Denzel Washington kick lately

[1:35:56] and why not because he's great uh and I really enjoyed his

[1:36:00] Macbeth movie that he made which is called Denzel Macbeth

[1:36:04] and I thought the uh I think I did that's not the movie I'm recommending

[1:36:08] tonight but I did like the tragedy of Macbeth a lot

[1:36:10] and I did find it amazing that the the Macbeth movie was the movie I felt had

[1:36:14] the fastest and briskest pacing of any major

[1:36:18] Hollywood film that I saw released this year

[1:36:20] that it was like I'm like oh this new James Bond movie is almost three hours

[1:36:23] long well let me see how long Macbeth is an hour and 40 minutes fantastic

[1:36:27] um slam dunk but uh I recently watched the first time devil in a blue dress

[1:36:32] uh the mystery that he did in the mid 90s uh based on the book by Walter

[1:36:36] Mosley and I'm recommending it even though when I worked at Barnes & Noble

[1:36:39] Walter Mosley came in and was very rude to me once

[1:36:41] but uh that's that's a story for another time but uh but

[1:36:45] uh it's a it's set right after World War II

[1:36:48] and Denzel Washington is E. Z. Rollins this guy who's just lost his job

[1:36:52] for talking back which he's people don't want him to do because he is a

[1:36:56] black man in the late 40s in LA and he gets caught up in a mystery

[1:37:01] uh that kind of leads him to becoming a detective even though he wasn't one

[1:37:04] before and the mystery itself is like fine like

[1:37:07] it's okay but Denzel Washington's so good in it

[1:37:10] and the atmosphere of it is so great and the performances are so great

[1:37:14] they do a great job of making like I feel like in the in the early 90s in the

[1:37:19] mid 90s they were still doing like period films where they went

[1:37:22] all out with like the sets and the costumes and the cars in a way that

[1:37:26] felt very real and uh he's and it's it's just a really

[1:37:30] uh the atmosphere of it's really fantastic and Don Cheadle

[1:37:33] is uh plays a supporting role in it as uh

[1:37:36] EZ's friend Mouse who is a very casual psychopathic murderer

[1:37:40] he's dedicated he's devoted to his friend but he's kind of quick to kill

[1:37:43] and Don Cheadle Don Cheadle is so good in it uh and

[1:37:47] it was just a performance of his I hadn't seen before and they're both

[1:37:50] a breakout role for him too like even though that that movie was not

[1:37:54] a huge like box office success if only though

[1:37:57] it was one that like really catapulted him to bigger things I feel like watching

[1:38:02] you're like why wasn't this a bigger hit and why

[1:38:05] didn't they make like five or six more of these yeah well

[1:38:08] you can tell that they they would the plan seems to be like we're gonna make

[1:38:11] an an EZ Rollin series now but I think the

[1:38:14] real problem is that the mystery at the heart of it is not

[1:38:16] the most compelling interesting mystery but you want to spend time with these

[1:38:20] characters and the the and you and seeing Denzel Washington

[1:38:24] playing this character is just like really entertaining and

[1:38:28] affecting so like it's worth watching for the performances in the atmosphere

[1:38:31] and just don't worry too much about I mean the plot is fine but it's not like

[1:38:34] um it feels like one of many movies I've

[1:38:36] seen where like they're kind of going for Chinatown

[1:38:39] and they and the the story is just not up to Chinatown level

[1:38:43] you know uh like um uh Motherless Brooklyn is kind of like that too

[1:38:47] where they're like this is going to be the Chinatown for New York and the

[1:38:51] highways and the expressways and it's just like well but it's not

[1:38:54] but like this isn't as good as Chinatown but yeah uh

[1:38:57] but Devil in a Blue Dress I really enjoyed a lot uh Dave do you have a

[1:38:59] movie you'd like to recommend um well obviously everyone should watch

[1:39:02] Rampage for sure um but at least the first 10

[1:39:06] minutes of it at least the first another movie that I recently re-watched

[1:39:09] you guys are probably if you're old horror movie buffs

[1:39:13] um I watched right when you know like uh

[1:39:16] video stores at first opened up and our parents like go get whatever you want

[1:39:20] and I watched an old it was a 1982 horror film Basket Case

[1:39:23] have you guys seen that movie oh sure oh yeah um and it

[1:39:27] well first of all I watched it I guess I was nine or ten years old which might be

[1:39:30] too young and it always uh for the movie the

[1:39:33] movie where that where a monster twin is killing prostitutes

[1:39:36] uh yeah raping and killing prostitutes oh right right the opening scene is them

[1:39:41] sort of cutting him off of his side and it wasn't till recently

[1:39:45] uh as much as that movie seeped into my nightmares and subconscious for years

[1:39:49] I had a cyst removed that was uh determined to be a dermoid cyst

[1:39:53] which is you know the process of the egg uh splitting when you're born one of

[1:39:58] them it's almost

[1:40:00] into a twin, but then can be absorbed by your body. So I had one, I had one living like right

[1:40:04] over here, I guess, and I had it removed. And that was exactly what that movie was about,

[1:40:10] was that twin obviously grew a little bit more like quattro off of his body was a little bit

[1:40:15] more than a little bit more. Yeah. So you're saying you what you so with you were like

[1:40:20] basket case, huh? Well, there but for the grace of God, like that could have been my story.

[1:40:25] So it was years later when I got when I had the dermoid cyst and then it came back, you know,

[1:40:29] I had forgotten about it for years that it really so maybe this is more of a movie that you should

[1:40:33] watch if you want to get to know me, really, what my story could have been. But and my kids think

[1:40:40] it's so funny that I had my twin brother or sister living in my head. And now that I've

[1:40:44] shown I've watched that movie again, it really it really speaks to me about what could have been.

[1:40:49] If I had if my brother or sister had only grown a little bit more, but I love that movie. It's

[1:40:54] the first real like twisted, you know, poorly conceived. And it was a lot of bad stop motion.

[1:41:03] It's a movie, too. And if you and it's a lot of it is shot in 42nd Street or the Times Square area

[1:41:08] in New York at the time in the early 80s, late 70s. And it's full on grimy New York.

[1:41:14] Yeah. Full on. Like if you want to see if you want to see the New York that

[1:41:17] everyone's nostalgic for when it was when it was when it was when it was just like gross

[1:41:21] and grimy and grimy, then Basket Case is a good place to go for it.

[1:41:26] Grimy and grimy. Grimy is also a children's story that I'm working on where it's a it's

[1:41:32] one one kid's just always dirty and the other one's always committing crimes.

[1:41:36] Well, before we sign off, I'd like to thank our guest, Dave Jesser. Do you have anything

[1:41:42] you want to plug? I think Dave may have frozen. Hold on. No, I think he's having internet problems.

[1:41:47] Well, I'd like to say thank you to our guests, Matthew Silverstein and Dave Jesser.

[1:41:55] And I would say to our listeners, if you have a moment, please go to iTunes and leave us review

[1:42:00] to help spread the word about the show. You can follow The Flophouse Pod on Twitter and

[1:42:05] The Flophouse Podcast on Instagram. Apologies for the difference. And you can go to YouTube

[1:42:12] slash The Flophouse Podcast. You had a third option to see our YouTube channel.

[1:42:19] If you would like Flophouse merch of any kind, if you go to Flophousepodcast.com and click on

[1:42:25] the merch tab, that's where you can find that. We're a member of the Maximum Fun Network.

[1:42:32] Go to MaximumFun.org to check out all the great podcasts on the network. Thank you to our producer

[1:42:37] Alex Smith. He is at HowlDotty on Twitter. That's H-O-W-E-L-L-D-A-W-D-Y on Twitter to see

[1:42:50] what else he's up to. We had briefly lost Dave off of the call earlier. Yeah, just because of

[1:43:00] the internet. Just because of the internet. But now that he is back, I just wanted to ask,

[1:43:06] is there anything you would like to plug before we say our absolute final sign off?

[1:43:11] Uh, I'd just like to say that for about five seconds there, my biggest nightmare came true,

[1:43:16] where I shared the most deepest, most personal, intimate details about my

[1:43:20] physical repulsion that lived inside of me, and I thought you guys cut me off.

[1:43:26] Cut you off like you were a dermoid cyst. Yeah, you're like, kill this asshole's

[1:43:30] mic. We don't need this. Get it out of here. This is disgusting. Who is this freak that

[1:43:33] you brought onto our podcast? Anytime you want to come on and tell us stories about gross things

[1:43:41] that got cut off of you, please do. Yeah, we really appreciate it. No, I have nothing to plug.

[1:43:46] Watch, I guess, Housebroken, and you guys are all awesome. This was so much fun. Thank you for

[1:43:53] inviting me. Thanks so much for being on the show. It was great. Yes, thanks for being on the show.

[1:43:57] Thank you to the audience for listening, but until next time, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:44:03] I've been Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kalin, and joining us has been

[1:44:07] Dave Jesser, and also Matt Silverstein, but he had to run. Bye.

[1:44:17] One, two, three, four, five. Excellent. Very nicely done. Very nicely done. Now record.

[1:44:27] No, no. No, Dave. You should. Oh, boy. Okay. The Three Stooges make a podcast.

[1:44:35] So we start recording after we finish. No, you knucklehead. What? No. Okay.

[1:44:40] Maximumfun.org, comedy and culture. Artist-owned, audience-supported.

Ep. #361 - Accidental Love, with Matthew Silverstein and Dave Jeser

Chapters

Transcript

Description