FH Mini 48 - A Trip Down Memory Lane with Nukie, featuring Erik Marcisak

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] Hello, welcome to the Flophouse Mini.

[0:06] That's right, it's the Flophouse, but it's a slightly smaller episode.

[0:10] It's just the length of a normal podcast episode and not one of our normal extra-sized, which

[0:15] is for us regular-sized episodes.

[0:17] And so, to wrap up, just to remind you, the Mini is regular-sized, which is smaller than

[0:22] our normal episodes, which are bigger-sized than regular podcasts.

[0:25] I'm Elliot Kalin, your Not Complicated at All host, and joining me are my regular co-hosts...

[0:31] Dan McCoy.

[0:32] Oh, and right over here, it's Stuart Wellington.

[0:35] And joining us today is a very special guest, a luminary of the video game scene, but you

[0:41] probably know him best for his important role in the secret origins of the Flophouse, the

[0:47] person who created the comedy space through which Dan and I first met and became bestest

[0:53] buddies.

[0:53] That's right, it's Eric Marsizak, former New York comedy impresario, current Canadian

[0:58] video game impresario.

S3

[1:01] Whew, okay.

[1:02] That was the sound of...

[1:03] This is my first podcast, so I've never been on a podcast, so...

[1:06] Yeah.

[1:06] I know it's very...

Stuart Wellington

[1:07] Okay.

[1:08] Alex, loop in a fucking bottle-popping sound effect back there.

[1:12] Okay.

[1:12] It was awesome.

[1:13] It looked great.

[1:14] Yeah, it didn't make a lot of noise, though.

[1:16] Yeah, it didn't make a lot of noise on the...

Dan McCoy

[1:18] Well, maybe...

[1:19] I don't know.

[1:20] Maybe...

Elliott Kalan

[1:20] Eric popped a bottle of champagne, but it appears to be a screw-top bottle of champagne

[1:23] rather than a cork, so...

[1:25] No, I popped it off the way you're supposed to, right, Stuart?

[1:28] I don't know if you saw it on the room.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29] You did it perfectly.

[1:30] It just didn't cause a lot of sound.

[1:32] That's why I'm telling Alex, Alex, make sure to loop it, make it sound insane.

[1:36] I want people to be, like, wondering if there's an earthquake happening in their town when

[1:40] they hear this episode.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41] The correct way to do it, Eric, in the future, the correct way to pop a champagne cork is

[1:44] to shoot it into Jessica Biel's eye during the mid-credits scene at the end of a very

[1:50] bad movie.

[1:51] There's a little asterisk, and then there's a little box that that asterisk leads to,

[1:55] which is, see the last episode, Accidental Love, a.k.a.

[1:58] Nailed.

[1:59] Smile on Stan.

S3

[2:00] Well, I actually got the reference because it's a weird thing.

[2:03] I love this show.

[2:03] I just want to say.

[2:04] I've been listening to it forever.

[2:05] I'm going to take a sip, though.

Stuart Wellington

[2:07] Since you kind of get credit for creating it.

S3

[2:11] I don't think so.

[2:12] I don't know about that one.

Stuart Wellington

[2:13] Thank you, Eric, for not running with that all the way to the courts.

S3

[2:15] But I love the show, and I've expressed it to Dan several times, I think.

[2:20] Stuart, probably not so much because we're not.

[2:22] We don't see each other that often.

[2:23] We're kind of like, yeah.

[2:25] Ironically, you don't tell me much, Eric, and we talk every few weeks.

[2:28] No, you and I vent about just how horrible it is to be just writing and be in this business

[2:32] that just wants to eat your soul all the time.

[2:34] Yeah, that's true.

[2:34] We do talk about that a lot.

Elliott Kalan

[2:36] Well, Eric, to explain to listeners who may not know the secret origins of the Flophouse.

[2:40] Oh, yeah.

[2:41] Eric, for many years, ran – he's a longtime friend of ours.

[2:45] For many years, ran comedy spaces in New York, one in particular, which was called Juvie Hall,

[2:51] underneath the Gene Frankel Theater on Bond Street.

[2:53] This is after we had left the place that we had gone to after leaving Show World, the Porn House,

[2:59] where Eric first began his comedy-producing career.

Stuart Wellington

[3:03] No, we can't just speed over –

Dan McCoy

[3:05] Eric ran a space called Above Kleptomania that was a theater above Show World, which was one of the few remaining sex – I guess live sex shows and porn places in New York.

Elliott Kalan

[3:21] By the time we were there, I don't know if it was a live peep show.

Dan McCoy

[3:23] I think they just had video booths.

S3

[3:25] It had video booths.

[3:26] It was basically a place where they had – Giuliani came down with this rule on all these sex entertainment places in Times Square,

[3:34] and he said a percentage of this place could be for this horrible stuff of just basically a closet where a guy could watch a video clip and jerk off to it.

[3:43] But there had to be a percentage of the space that had to be dedicated to like a legit business so they would have souvenirs.

Stuart Wellington

[3:49] I also want people to know like in New York, unlike – like outside of New York, everybody's got a closet in their home where they watch pornography and just jack off onto the floor,

[3:59] and then a stranger comes and cleans it.

[4:01] Well, in New York, you actually have to rent that.

[4:03] Because your apartments aren't big enough.

[4:04] You don't have the closet space.

[4:05] Apartments aren't big enough.

[4:05] Yeah, exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[4:06] If the closet is big enough to jerk off in, it's technically a bedroom in New York and you can rent it out.

[4:11] Now, this show world had some very frightening circus-themed decorations and also some of the least accurate posters on the walls.

[4:20] I remember there was one of Times Square that said like Times Square in 1942, and there was a big poster for The Third Man, a post-World War II movie.

[4:27] So that could not have been 1942.

[4:28] Oh, man, what idiots.

[4:30] And there was a poster that just was a picture of Frank Sinatra that said The Golden Age of Jazz on it.

S3

[4:35] We're really going on a tangent, but Elliot, that's one of my glorious memories of hanging out with you while waiting for another show to finish,

[4:41] was just like looking at this stupid poster and how wrong it was.

Elliott Kalan

[4:45] Yeah, and so after – but my favorite memory of us performing at Show World was when I and my former sketch partner Brock Mahan used to perform as the hypocrites.

[4:54] We had very small audiences.

[4:55] Often it would just be like a family member of mine and then some rando who thought the girls were going to come out at any moment and start taking their clothes off.

[5:03] And one time my grandmother, who at the time was in her early 80s maybe or late 70s – it must have been her late 70s – was there with my mom and my sister.

[5:13] And they went to see the show.

[5:15] And then we were standing under the marquee afterwards before going our several ways.

[5:19] And we heard a couple walk by, and the woman turned to the man and said, this place looks too tame for us.

[5:23] I think it's something that my grandmother was a patron of the pornographic part of it.

Stuart Wellington

[5:28] Imagine the history that your grandmother has seen and that she then got to go to Show World to watch you perform.

[5:34] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[5:35] And she did – I mean not to go on a tangent on a tangent, but my grandmother did meet with many illustrious people.

[5:42] She told me many times about the dinner party she was at where she sat next to Jackson Pollock's art agent and tried to press him to admit that Jackson Pollock's work was garbage.

[5:52] That she was – she kept saying, come on, you admit it.

[5:54] It's not real painting, right?

[5:55] Admit it.

[5:56] It's a bit.

[5:57] And the man whose job was to sell Jackson Pollock's paintings to galleries did not bite the pain on that one.

[6:03] Did he admit it?

[6:04] Anyway, Eric eventually moved to this other theater space, Juby Hall, where Dan and I first met.

[6:10] And we all performed comedy there for a while.

[6:11] Not Stuart.

[6:11] He was too cool for that.

[6:13] But Stuart was a patron there, if I remember correctly.

[6:15] Yeah, Stuart was a patron.

[6:15] I don't know when you moved to New York, Stuart.

S3

[6:17] Was that – when did you come with Dan?

[6:20] Yeah, it was around then.

Stuart Wellington

[6:20] I feel like I either went to go see Dan perform there or I went with Dan to see Elliot's show.

[6:29] Yeah.

[6:29] But no, I wasn't a performer because I had not gotten over – I was still a coward and didn't like to perform in front of audiences.

[6:37] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[6:38] But Stuart was very kind to come either way because this was not – Eric, no insult to you.

[6:49] Who has launched many great comedy careers.

[6:54] Ours and Sarah Schaefer and Matt Coff and various folks went through the whole – but this is not the high end of New York comedy that we're talking about.

[7:06] This is a small basement black box theater.

[7:10] One can imagine, I guess, that since the last theater was literally in a sex shop that this was a step up but we were not rocketing straight to the top.

[7:19] Even though literally it was a step down.

S3

[7:21] It was below ground.

[7:22] Below, yeah.

[7:23] No, it was – I mean like at that time – that was a crazy time of comedy in New York City.

[7:28] There was the UCB theater.

[7:29] There was another one.

[7:30] There was a pit.

[7:31] There were all these other theaters that were kind of competing for people and classes.

[7:35] Most of them wanted you to kind of join their cult and pay $300 so that you could learn how to do –

Elliott Kalan

[7:40] And so, Eric, would you say that yours was either the – was yours either the friendliest theater or the least successful cult?

S3

[7:46] I'd say the least successful cult because I did not charge any money for anybody to pay for any classes.

[7:53] That's a problem.

Elliott Kalan

[7:55] Pete, readers of – was it the Post or the Daily News may remember that Eric is notorious as the man who was quoted in the paper as saying Lorne Michaels is an old man who needs to step aside and leave SNL to someone else.

[8:05] Still hasn't done it.

[8:07] He hasn't.

[8:08] He hasn't.

[8:09] Yeah.

[8:09] Any day, though.

S3

[8:10] Any day.

[8:11] He's going to.

Elliott Kalan

[8:12] Yeah.

[8:12] And this caused a furor in which the Upper Citizens Brigade took to the message boards to lambast Eric in a real example of all these comedians standing up for the biggest man in television comedy.

[8:25] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[8:25] He's fucking caping for Saturday Night fucking live.

[8:29] Jesus.

Dan McCoy

[8:29] Yeah, it was a real admirable case of the most successful alt comedy theater supporting the most successful sketch comedy show in American history against a tiny downtown theater.

S3

[8:46] Brave stuff.

[8:47] Brave stuff.

[8:48] Good stuff.

[8:48] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[8:48] Okay.

[8:48] I can't paint me as like – you can't paint us and me and the show that we were doing as like totally innocent.

[8:55] I had a show called Saturday Night Rewritten that was literally like we're going to watch Saturday Night Live and then the next day we're going to basically be inspired by what they did and write a whole new show in less time.

[9:06] And it could be almost as funny as that show.

Elliott Kalan

[9:09] I think it was funnier.

[9:10] It was certainly less professional.

[9:11] But I think often it was funnier than the show the night before.

[9:13] Yeah.

[9:14] Funnier than Saturday Night Live?

Stuart Wellington

[9:17] History's least funny show that I've watched every episode of?

[9:20] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[9:21] I do think that it was – part of the problem was the framing of the show made it seem much more like we were just taking Saturday Night Live sketches and tweaking.

[9:32] And literally rewriting them, which we were not.

[9:34] The sketches themselves were all new sketches.

[9:35] Yeah.

[9:36] It was a completely new show that was vaguely inspired by SNL in the same way that an improv scene is inspired by a word from the audience.

S3

[9:45] But like a full disclosure, like, you know, 100 years later, like I – the name was on purpose.

[9:56] The explanation of the show was on purpose to kind of get audience members through the door.

[10:00] Oh, yeah.

[10:01] Of course.

[10:01] The interview that I did where I called Lorne Michaels a grandpa who should retire, which I think he was about 20 years ago still.

[10:09] But –

[10:09] Well, now he's a mummy who should retire.

Stuart Wellington

[10:11] But I –

[10:11] You were just being a provocateur?

[10:13] Yeah.

S3

[10:14] I was being a young asshole who was trying to get more butts in the seats and like maybe be like, hey, this guy thinks he's, you know, like an asshole.

[10:25] Oh, totally, totally.

[10:25] Like a disruptor.

[10:26] Like it was a total – it was a gamble.

Elliott Kalan

[10:28] You were a sketch comedy disruptor.

[10:30] Yeah, yeah.

[10:31] And you were hoping that day would come where the lights would go up and there was just clapping and there's one person in the seats and it's Lorne Michaels.

[10:36] And he said, well, the gauntlet has been thrown down.

[10:38] A worthy competitor.

[10:40] Well, well, well.

Dan McCoy

[10:41] But that being the case, people should have taken you about as seriously as I always took you, which is not that much.

[10:48] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[10:48] Exactly.

[10:49] So this episode is not just about Eric's career as a comedy provocateur.

[10:55] Really?

[10:55] Par none.

[10:57] Talk forever about that.

[10:58] Non-parallel.

[10:59] This is – Eric is here because another thing that Eric really stoked in us, although I think he wasn't the first stoker, but certainly he was –

[11:08] Bob Stoker was one of the earliest stokers.

[11:10] Yeah, Bram Stoker was a very early stoker.

[11:11] Austin Stoker, certainly.

[11:12] Yeah, yeah.

[11:13] And Stoker the movie, which actually came later than the events that we're going to be talking about.

[11:16] And Stroker Ace.

[11:19] Once you introduce Strokers, there's a whole history that goes back even farther.

[11:23] Oh, lordy.

[11:24] But Eric is also a bad movie connoisseur.

[11:29] And Eric, we were talking about before the show, you and I, about talking about some of our memories of being maybe over-eager bad movie connoisseurs.

[11:37] And one movie in particular that we glommed onto.

[11:41] Yeah.

[11:41] The movie is new.

[11:42] As someone who used to go to video stores and buy used tapes that looked like they'd be bad movies.

S3

[11:48] Right.

[11:49] Maybe it's my age or whatever, and I'm looking back, and it's this convergence of being old, wondering why I still like bad movies, and wondering why I also devote my time to listening to you guys every episode.

[12:01] Oh, wait a minute, dude.

[12:03] Hold on.

[12:04] Hold on.

[12:05] Hold on.

Elliott Kalan

[12:05] Don't give us the Lorne Michaels treatment.

[12:07] Come on.

[12:09] You guys should all retire.

[12:10] Don't disrupt this podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[12:11] I got to go text the UCB Theater to come beat you up.

S3

[12:14] Oh, my God.

[12:15] They will if I step inside.

[12:17] Oh, wait.

[12:17] They don't exist anymore.

[12:18] Burn.

[12:19] Oh, wow.

[12:19] Oh, man.

Elliott Kalan

[12:20] Who outlived who?

[12:21] I mean, your theater ended long before theirs did.

[12:24] Yeah, I know.

[12:24] I ran away.

[12:26] You literally went over the boundary to another country.

S3

[12:29] I had to.

[12:30] I got so scared of certain people.

[12:32] I just had to run.

[12:33] I had to go on the run.

[12:35] No, so thinking about all this kind of stuff, guys, like I said, and I don't think I finished

[12:41] the thought, but I love this show.

[12:42] I love it.

[12:43] And I used to be a fan that used to be like, ooh, I see the title of what they're watching.

[12:47] Let me watch the movie and then listen to what they have to say.

[12:51] And then I kind of over time evolved to the point of just like, I just like what they say,

[12:56] like what you guys are talking about.

[12:58] And I think it's that communal feeling that I've chased throughout my life with bad movies.

[13:06] And there's something about it that I find fascinating.

[13:09] And you guys provide that little like hour and a half, two hours longish or whatever.

[13:14] Sometimes more.

[13:15] Sometimes more.

[13:16] Like once a week that I get, even with the guests and the mini episodes.

[13:20] Like it's still like, I like hanging out with you guys, even though it's all one-sided.

[13:24] Like I don't think I've spoken to Stuart since pre-pandemic.

Stuart Wellington

[13:27] No.

[13:28] Probably at a wedding or some other function.

[13:30] Yeah.

S3

[13:31] I think, yeah, maybe at a live show we kind of like cross paths.

[13:34] But then like Dan, occasionally we email and Elliot, we chat.

Elliott Kalan

[13:38] We talk on the phone regularly.

[13:39] Yeah.

[13:39] So Eric, it's a – but bad movies are no longer the glue of your social life that they once were.

S3

[13:47] No, they're not.

[13:49] What is the glue of your social life now, Eric?

[13:52] Yeah, yeah.

[13:52] He's a parent.

[13:53] He doesn't have a parent.

[13:54] I have nothing.

[13:55] I have nothing but you guys.

[13:57] It's one-way conversation.

[13:58] For me, it's booze.

Stuart Wellington

[13:59] I mean, it's pretty simple.

[14:01] For me, it's glue, weirdly.

[14:04] Like I have a glue-making glass.

Elliott Kalan

[14:07] Yeah.

[14:07] And so Eric, so you were talking about Nuki.

[14:10] There's this one particular movie that was a big one for Eric and me and also Eric and other friends of ours.

[14:17] But it's a movie that was mentioned in I think multiple speeches at your wedding, Eric.

[14:21] Yeah.

[14:22] So tell us about Nuki.

[14:24] We can make this an unofficial miss that movie even though I've seen this movie several times.

S3

[14:27] Well, my question is Dan and Stuart.

[14:28] Have you guys seen it?

Dan McCoy

[14:31] I have not seen it.

[14:33] I've seen Elliot's presentation on Nuki probably eight to ten times.

[14:37] Yeah, that makes sense.

[14:38] I used to do it a lot.

Stuart Wellington

[14:39] I've seen this presentation so many times and the message of Elliot's presentation is don't watch the movie.

[14:45] Yeah.

[14:45] And I tell you every time I've seen him do it, like three people come up to me afterwards and they're like, man, I got to watch Nuki.

[14:52] I'm like, you weren't listening, dude.

[14:55] I don't even want your take on Fight Club now.

Elliott Kalan

[15:00] I don't care if you like the Chinese ending more where they arrest him at the end.

[15:04] The buildings don't blow up.

Stuart Wellington

[15:06] I got to say that's quite a choice.

Elliott Kalan

[15:08] It's a twist that I was not expecting.

[15:10] I'm impressed.

[15:11] Well, learning in this past week or two that China often will, I guess, end movies with a text screen that just says everyone was arrested.

[15:19] It turned out okay.

[15:21] That's the way that Unbreakable is.

[15:22] That's the end of Unbreakable, baby.

[15:24] So we got the Chinese edit of Unbreakable in the theaters.

Stuart Wellington

[15:27] Which, master of twists himself.

[15:29] I think he can appreciate it.

[15:31] Game recognized game.

Elliott Kalan

[15:34] So, Eric, tell us about Nuki.

[15:35] Give us the basic facts.

S3

[15:38] Okay.

[15:39] So we start on a tracking shot.

[15:41] It's in –

[15:42] I don't think we can go into that much detail.

[15:44] It's getting the weeds here, boys.

[15:46] It's a tracking shot in Long Island City.

[15:48] One Fred Durst is walking down the street, his hat backwards, and he's walking –

[15:54] I think you're –

Elliott Kalan

[15:55] Eric, I think you're talking about the video for Nookie.

[15:58] Not the movie Nookie.

[15:59] Oh, you're right.

S3

[16:00] I'm sorry about that.

[16:02] No, Nookie –

[16:02] So Nookie was this weird movie that I found at the time.

[16:08] There were –

[16:09] In New York City, there was a lot of mom-and-pop VHS stores that were going out of business that were, like, just closing down, and they had to sell their stocks.

[16:15] So it would be, like, five movies for 20 bucks.

[16:18] And you'd look at these covers, and you're like, what the hell is this shit?

[16:20] So you put it on one time, and it was – just watching it at home, and it was – it's basically a knockoff of E.T.

[16:27] Somehow learning now, like looking at the information now, it was filmed in South Africa.

[16:32] Like, it's a South African production.

[16:34] So it was kind of a knockoff of trying to do that, and it was –

Elliott Kalan

[16:38] It filmed in South Africa not before the end of the bad times in South Africa.

[16:43] Right.

S3

[16:44] Sorry, not after.

Elliott Kalan

[16:45] It was before the end of the bad times.

[16:46] It was a time when you really didn't want to be affiliated with South Africa.

S3

[16:49] Right.

[16:50] And so it's basically like a – it's a story of two brothers that get separated, and one is captured by NASA.

[16:59] These are aliens.

[17:00] These are aliens.

[17:01] Yeah, that's a key point to them.

[17:02] Key point, yeah.

[17:03] I forgot about that.

[17:03] I would describe them first as aliens, brothers second.

Dan McCoy

[17:06] They probably would write.

[17:08] They would say brothers first.

[17:09] Brothers first and not aliens at all because –

Elliott Kalan

[17:11] Yeah, because they see the Earth people as aliens because they're from the other planet.

[17:14] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[17:14] Oh, I guess that makes sense because they're just normal, right?

[17:19] And we're the aliens.

[17:20] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[17:20] When they show up – it never makes sense in movies when aliens show up and go, we're from outer space.

Stuart Wellington

[17:25] No, they're from home.

Elliott Kalan

[17:26] We live in outer space to them.

Stuart Wellington

[17:27] Yeah.

[17:28] I mean, actually, everybody's in outer space.

[17:29] We just happen to be sitting on this rock, you know?

[17:31] That's a very good point.

[17:32] Very good point.

Dan McCoy

[17:33] Money is all made up.

[17:35] Do you ever think about this?

[17:36] Like, it just has the value that we put on it.

Elliott Kalan

[17:38] Hold on.

[17:38] Dan, I have a picture of a chimp wearing a hat that I really want to sell you for a million dollars.

[17:44] Okay.

[17:45] Well, if that million dollars is made up, I mean, who cares?

Stuart Wellington

[17:48] You should just –

[17:48] It's true.

[17:49] Yeah, just give it to me.

[17:50] It's not real money.

[17:52] Oh, man.

[17:52] Eric's room got really cool.

[17:54] Yeah.

S3

[17:54] I have this for work.

[17:57] Just any time the conversation gets really college-drugged out kind of.

[18:01] I just – I go back to a dorm where it's got Bob Marley on the wall.

[18:05] There's what?

[18:06] Across the Universe movie poster?

[18:08] Yeah.

[18:08] Julie Taymor's movie Across the Universe.

[18:09] No frame.

[18:09] It doesn't need a frame.

[18:10] Why would you put a frame on a poster?

Stuart Wellington

[18:12] It's a movie poster.

[18:12] No, frames aren't real.

[18:14] That's just not money.

[18:14] That poster wants to be free.

[18:17] Is that a tapestry on the ceiling or is that just another movie poster?

S3

[18:20] It's Garden State right next to it.

[18:22] Oh, wow.

[18:22] That's really cool.

[18:23] Probably something of some mountain seas.

Stuart Wellington

[18:26] Oh, and is Dan sitting on a hamburger grill?

[18:29] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:29] Yeah, Dan has that background of singing that guitar hamburger from Better Off Dead, right?

[18:34] Yeah.

[18:35] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[18:35] That's a scene that lives in my brain.

[18:39] You know, much like Bernstein in Citizen Kane, I don't think a month goes by that I don't

[18:45] think about that scene from Better Off Dead where a hamburger sings for no reason.

Elliott Kalan

[18:49] You saw that claymation hamburger for just a couple minutes.

[18:51] He didn't see you at all.

[18:52] Yeah.

[18:52] Yeah, but a month doesn't go by.

[18:54] So, Eric, Nuki and Niko, they're brothers from space.

[18:57] One's captured in America.

[18:59] The other lands in Africa, right?

S3

[19:01] Right.

[19:01] And so it's really about them trying to connect with each other or get back together so that

[19:07] they can kind of like be with each other and then kind of leave the earth because it's

[19:11] pretty dangerous and fucked up.

[19:14] And there's one.

[19:16] So the one brother that's at NASA is just getting like studied by NASA and getting pumped

[19:20] with drugs.

[19:22] And there's a drama there.

[19:23] And he's in the US.

[19:25] And the other one is in Africa who befriends like a tribe.

[19:29] And it's really weird.

[19:31] But they try to meet each other.

[19:34] And in the end, the happy ending is, of course, they meet each other.

[19:37] And they take a talking chimp with them.

[19:41] Back into space.

Elliott Kalan

[19:41] There's also a chimp that they can.

[19:43] Well, because Nuki can talk to animals.

[19:44] Nuki has a bewildering variety of powers.

[19:47] He can freeze people with his mind.

[19:48] He can change the weather.

[19:49] He can talk to animals.

[19:51] But he spends a lot of the movie just kind of like with his head in his hands, not knowing

[19:54] what to do and like sitting in the sun looking depressed.

Stuart Wellington

[19:56] A lot of those powers seem easily represented on film with not a lot of money.

Elliott Kalan

[20:02] I think you'd be correct.

[20:04] Yeah.

[20:04] It is.

[20:05] And Miko, on the other hand, his brother, he can leave the lab where he's being tortured

[20:11] on his own will.

[20:13] He keeps leaving and then walking back in again, which is confusing.

S3

[20:17] See, that is a detail I've already started to delete in my head.

Elliott Kalan

[20:20] He like walks out of the chamber they kept in and has a conversation with the computer for

[20:24] a long time and then walks back in again.

[20:26] And you're like, just go.

[20:27] Miko, just go.

Dan McCoy

[20:28] Now, what I recall from the Nuki presentation that, again, I've seen several times is that

[20:33] one or both of the aliens is very snotty.

[20:37] That there's like a lot of-

[20:38] Yeah, that's Nuki.

[20:38] That's Nuki.

[20:39] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[20:39] Nuki constantly has-

[20:40] He constantly has snot dripping out of his nose.

[20:42] Yeah.

[20:43] And this is not done-

[20:44] Eric, it's not done comically, right?

[20:45] It's not comedically.

[20:46] It's just like-

S3

[20:47] No, I think he's suffering from the environment or he's got like a cold or something.

[20:51] But it's just, it's always, it's a thing that they had to have somebody on set be like,

[20:55] oh, it's dried up.

[20:56] Let's spray more nose snot ooze coming from his nose.

Stuart Wellington

[21:00] That's not really highlights the character design of them having very enormous upper lips.

[21:06] Like, right?

[21:06] Yes.

[21:07] Like, they look kind of like the Grinch or like when Sam Elliott shaves off his mustache

[21:10] and you're like, what is going on here?

Elliott Kalan

[21:12] Or like when you look at Bruce Willis and you realize just how much space is between his

[21:15] nose and upper lip, which is quite a bit.

[21:17] I don't like to watch that.

Dan McCoy

[21:18] If I recall, they kind of look like the exact midpoint between, say, E.T. and a big turd.

[21:25] Like if you like-

[21:26] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[21:26] Yeah, very much so.

[21:27] Yeah.

[21:27] Like an ambulatory pile of dog poop.

S3

[21:29] Yeah.

[21:30] And the great thing is that they built two.

[21:32] Like you could almost, if you were to do like a cheat movie where you'd be like, ah, I've

[21:36] got one Nuki suit and like, you know, you put on a hat and it's like, ah, that's Miko.

[21:40] No, they built two for the very dramatic scene at the end where they hug each other and like

Elliott Kalan

[21:46] with a chair there's snot.

[21:47] Yeah, as opposed to a Tanuki suit, which allows you to turn into a statue for just a very short

[21:51] amount of time.

[21:53] Yeah.

[21:54] And fly.

[21:55] Yeah, and fly also.

[21:56] Yeah.

[21:56] That would be very easy.

Stuart Wellington

[21:57] No, the statue's more important.

Elliott Kalan

[21:59] I mean, you can fly just using a maple leaf or using a leaf.

[22:03] You know, the Tanuki suit gives you the statue power.

[22:05] That's true.

[22:05] It's true.

[22:05] Yeah.

[22:06] Multiple uses.

[22:08] Anyway, this is all Super Mario Brothers talk.

[22:09] Welcome to Superboys, the Super Mario Brothers podcast where we talk about just the costumes

[22:15] that Mario gets to wear.

Dan McCoy

[22:19] Yeah, we talk about Karibo's shoe.

[22:21] Karubo's shoe.

[22:22] I don't know how you pronounce it, but you know, that shoe lets you bounce around on piranha

[22:26] plants.

Elliott Kalan

[22:28] Finally.

[22:29] And they say that the tech industry isn't solving real world problems.

[22:32] Yep.

[22:33] So it's a video game podcast?

[22:36] It's whatever we want it to be.

[22:37] It's a mini.

[22:37] Okay.

[22:37] So I think, I feel like we haven't fully gotten across just how bad Nuki is.

[22:43] Because it sounds like just any other E.T. ripoff shot in apartheid South Africa with

[22:49] characters who are constantly being tortured and snot pouring out of their noses.

[22:55] There's just an air of depression around the whole thing, right?

S3

[23:01] There's an air of depression, but there's also like, at the same time, it's mixed in

[23:04] with like, they were trying to make a movie.

[23:07] Like, they weren't doing a trauma thing where they're just like, let's make this crazy ass

[23:11] shit.

[23:11] Like, this was, this was a jet.

[23:13] Like, somebody was like, this will be great for kids.

[23:16] Like, they love E.T.

[23:18] They'll love this.

Dan McCoy

[23:19] Well, I think that that puts your finger.

[23:22] I mean, like, Nuki is notoriously bad.

[23:24] Again, Elliot's message is don't watch it.

[23:27] But, but I think that what you're saying puts your finger on one of the things I do like

[23:32] about bad movies to get back to kind of the general question we started with.

[23:37] Yeah.

[23:37] Which is that, you know, watching a movie of that caliber, which is to say lower than most

[23:45] movies normal people will ever watch, I do find a certain joy in seeing it and seeing

[23:52] the people who made it thinking like, we are making a movie.

[23:56] Like, the excitement of filmmaking, just like that, like we are telling a story.

[24:01] We are part of it.

[24:02] We are Hollywood.

[24:03] We are making a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[24:04] That Muppet Show Magic Factory stuff.

Dan McCoy

[24:05] Yeah, exactly.

[24:06] It's the way, like, you know, I think that Be Kind Rewind is kind of an underrated movie.

[24:13] It doesn't, like, it doesn't go a lot of places plot-wise, but I think that it captures

[24:18] that joy of, like, the do-it-yourself homemade film.

[24:23] And I think that if you watch a really low-budget, poorly-made movie, you get some of that same

[24:30] joy where you can really see the handcrafted quality of the crap you're watching.

Elliott Kalan

[24:35] I think this, I think Nuki is high enough budget that it does not have that handcrafted

[24:40] feel.

[24:41] It has big stars in it, Glynnis Johns, Steve Railsback, huge stars.

[24:45] Yes.

[24:47] And, but I know what you mean.

[24:49] There's, I mean, that's part of the, as much as Neil Breen's movies are a horrifying look

[24:54] into the mind of a man who seems to have been brought here only to hate the world that he

[25:00] has found himself trapped on.

[25:02] There is, there is an endearing quality of the, like, yeah, this guy's doing it.

[25:06] Like, he's, I've, I've never gotten my act together enough to make a movie, but this guy's

[25:09] doing it.

[25:10] It doesn't matter how bad it is.

[25:11] Like, he's going to make it.

[25:12] He's going to make it happen.

Dan McCoy

[25:13] I have watched, by the way, I have not watched all of Twisted Pair.

[25:17] I have watched the first 30 minutes of Twisted Pair.

[25:19] Then I shut it off, intending to get back to it, and I haven't done it yet.

[25:22] But that's the one, that's the most recent one, which we haven't covered on the, on the podcast.

[25:29] I just want to report back to you guys that based on the first 30 minutes, he has moved

[25:34] into a whole new area, which is the film is almost entirely made of stock footage that

[25:41] he has inserted himself into and seemingly written a story around.

[25:46] I mean, that's Ed Wood stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[25:48] That's the, yeah, that's the magic of filmmaking.

[25:49] Yeah.

[25:50] That's the end stop, won't stop.

S3

[25:51] Did he use the promo code from the Flophouse to get some of that?

Elliott Kalan

[25:54] Yeah, we did.

[25:55] From Storyblocks, huh?

[25:56] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[25:58] Yeah, the thing, like, Neil Breen is like a lot of the, a lot of the heavy metal artists

[26:03] that I have liked over the years where I'm like, oh, I like the music, but this guy's

[26:08] a creep.

[26:08] And that's the thing about Neil Breen is you're like, oh, he does some things that are really

[26:12] great, like dumb bullshit, but he's a horrible person who has bad ideas.

Elliott Kalan

[26:19] So I, well, so what is it then about, I, I understand there's a, there's a part of me

[26:24] that I, that gets so much pleasure out of watching a bad movie with other people.

[26:29] Yeah.

[26:29] I mean.

[26:29] And enjoying it with them.

[26:30] And, but I want, but there's a, there's a period in my life where I, I crossed that Rubicon

[26:34] of watching bad movies by myself.

[26:36] And that was a big mistake.

[26:38] That was a big mistake.

[26:39] Huge.

[26:40] In the, in the words of one.

[26:42] Referencing a good movie.

[26:43] Of one's Julie, one Juliet Roberts.

[26:45] That, that, the, what happens, what have you guys had experience with that?

[26:50] With that suddenly finding yourself watching a bad movie bear?

[26:52] So, I mean, Dan, you were just talking about watching Twisted Pairs.

[26:55] So I guess you're still living in that, in that zone.

Dan McCoy

[26:58] Yeah, well, look, it, it all depends on where your, your life is at, Elliot.

[27:03] Like, uh, I, I, there was, uh, you know, a few years where I was, uh, let's say extra

[27:11] sad when I was watching bad movies on my own and, uh, having a, a, a cocktail while, while

[27:18] doing so.

[27:19] And I wouldn't recommend that lifestyle to, to folks.

[27:22] But now that my life is, uh, back in a, uh, more happy, stable place, um, you know, I

[27:28] can enjoy a bad movie on my own, but I, I would definitely recommend that you do it with

[27:34] people.

[27:34] Like, uh, it really is, it does cross the line into a shameful waste of time.

S3

[27:41] You're just doing it by yourself.

[27:43] Yeah.

[27:44] I, like for me, like this is the core of it.

[27:48] Like I started and it's, it was, it's very, I remember I have this vivid memory.

[27:52] I was like, I was at a sleepover with some friends.

[27:54] We weren't, we didn't have a pillow fight.

[27:55] This was only a couple of years ago, right?

[27:57] Only a couple of years ago.

[27:58] But I was like, I was trying to do the math on it and I was like 10 or 11.

[28:01] And it's like, there's a friend of mine just being like, Hey, have you seen up USA's

[28:05] up all night?

[28:06] Like, let's want, like, let's watch this.

Elliott Kalan

[28:09] Dan's eyes just lit up.

[28:11] Yeah.

[28:12] This brings Dan to the happiest.

[28:13] What were they showing?

[28:14] Uh, screwballs, California hot wax, uh, Bikini Car Wash Company 2.

[28:18] What, what, what bikini business, based business were they, were they, were

[28:22] investigating?

S3

[28:24] It was actually a bikini, it was a bikini store.

[28:27] It was just, it was a bikini shop.

[28:30] You got to start from somewhere.

[28:31] Probably a Malibu bikini shop.

Elliott Kalan

[28:33] I would submit, I would say objection, your honor, that, uh, USA up all night.

[28:37] There is a secondary motive here, aside from watching a bad movie, uh, that involves the,

[28:42] uh, what, what's been termed the cheapest special effect, which is the human boob.

[28:48] So I would say, I would say it falls into a different category of shameful things to do

[28:51] by yourself.

Stuart Wellington

[28:52] Elliot, I've arguably spent more money on human boobs than anything else.

[28:58] But yeah.

[28:59] So, uh, USA up all night, bunch of boys hanging around.

[29:03] I bet this party was great.

[29:04] The passing popcorn around.

[29:07] Sneaking coax.

S3

[29:07] Yeah, we're watching the thing, we're talking where, we're, no, we're just, the thing is

[29:13] like, it was the first time, I'm an only child, so it was like, for me, it was like, oh wow,

[29:16] I'm hanging out with other people, we're kind of watching a movie and like, we're talking

[29:20] about it.

[29:20] We're not like in a theater where you kind of have to be quiet.

[29:22] We're just being assholes in somebody's room and just kind of ragging on it, put ourselves

[29:28] above this like piece of shit that's on TV.

[29:32] Like, so somehow I keep coming back to like that kind of thing and it's come back in a

[29:37] different form.

Elliott Kalan

[29:38] I get that there's a, you get, you feel, when you first start watching bad movies, you do

[29:41] feel a sense of superiority.

[29:42] Like, can you believe this garbage?

[29:43] Like, this is ridiculous.

[29:45] Who would make this?

[29:45] And it's only as you, as, as the amount of bad movies that you watch overtakes the amount

[29:50] of good movies that you're like, oh no, now I'm beneath it now.

[29:53] Like, I don't even have, I don't even, I'm just a spectator.

[29:55] I don't even have it in me to go out and make a bad movie.

[29:58] I'm just sitting here watching them, filling my life with them.

Stuart Wellington

[30:00] Well, also the more that I've become.

[30:01] The bad movie is above me.

[30:03] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[30:04] The more that I've become like, I mean, Lord knows I've never made a movie, but let's,

[30:09] let's call it showbiz adjacent.

[30:11] The more that I become.

[30:11] The Lord would know that.

[30:12] The Lord knows all.

[30:13] Yeah.

[30:13] Showbiz adjacent.

[30:15] It's more like a feeling of there before the grace of God goes on.

[30:19] Like, I start getting like this weird fondness where I'm just like, you know what?

[30:24] You got out there and you tried.

[30:26] Good job.

[30:27] You'll get them next time.

[30:29] Have some orange slices.

Elliott Kalan

[30:30] So when you're watching, you're, yeah, you're more, you're more the, the supportive coach.

[30:35] Yeah.

[30:36] Sure.

[30:36] Yeah.

S3

[30:37] But for me, like, so that origin of being pre-puberty, puberty area of just like being a shit disturber,

[30:46] early just a shit disturber and just kind of like making fun of these things with other

[30:49] friends and having a blast.

[30:51] Like the movie wasn't important.

[30:52] Now it was just like, I'm hanging out with my buddies.

[30:54] And then like, you know, you grow up, you go to a different school.

[30:57] I'm not friends with those kids anymore or whatever.

[30:59] Not even Facebook friends with them.

[31:01] But, uh, wow.

[31:02] But you, yeah.

[31:03] Yeah.

[31:03] Sick burn.

Elliott Kalan

[31:04] Well, you're too busy with your new QAnon crew that you keep telling me about.

[31:07] Yeah.

S3

[31:08] Trust me.

[31:08] You got to believe it.

[31:09] It's, it's real pizza game.

[31:10] No, it's not.

[31:11] Please edit that out.

[31:12] I shouldn't have said this.

[31:14] Um.

Elliott Kalan

[31:15] Too late.

[31:16] This is going out live on Joe Rogan's channel.

[31:18] Oh, damn it.

[31:19] Oh, wow.

S3

[31:21] Damn it.

[31:21] So I feel like I went through a phase of doing that.

[31:26] And then, like I said, the VHS stores kind of closed down and then it became a thing of

[31:30] just like, I went, I went into film school and it was just kind of like, oh, we're analyzing

[31:33] movies, but we're also making fun of them.

[31:35] You know, like it, that, that feeling is the same feeling that I get from listening with,

[31:41] like with you guys.

[31:42] Honestly, I'm sorry to be like a fan boy about the whole thing, but it's just like, you

[31:46] guys bring that, bring me back to that slumber party when I was a young teen.

[31:53] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:54] So, um.

[31:56] We're the cool slumber party that you aren't friends with anymore on Facebook.

[32:00] Yeah, that's right.

S3

[32:02] And it's so one-sided.

[32:03] You guys are just so funny with it that I don't have to say anything.

[32:05] It's, it's, it's a blast listening to it, but it's just like.

Dan McCoy

[32:08] I mean, that is, that is the Flophouse slogan.

[32:11] You mentioned it before.

[32:12] A bunch of assholes in a room or whatever it was.

Elliott Kalan

[32:15] Be an asshole in a room.

[32:17] I mean, that describes so many things though, like, like Congress and most corporate boardrooms.

Stuart Wellington

[32:23] Wow.

[32:24] I guess we're opening our third eye, guys.

[32:28] Good one, Elliot.

[32:29] No, I think you guys are right.

[32:30] Like, I feel like the thing that I love about mad movies is that it, it taps into the same

[32:35] thing that, like, I feel like humans that are searching for a partner are looking for somebody

[32:41] that when weird shit is happening, they can give that person a look and there will just

[32:46] be a knowing look in their eyes that you will be able to share a moment without having to

[32:49] say anything.

[32:50] And watching bad movies, I kind of, is kind of the same way.

[32:53] Like being able to watch a bad movie and having a friend that you can share that, that like

[32:57] weird thing with is really great.

[32:59] So that's what, that's what we are.

[33:01] We are somebody's perfect mate.

Elliott Kalan

[33:04] And we're going to find out who on today's episode of Flop Date.

[33:08] So Dan, can you bring in the contestants?

[33:10] Uh, sure.

[33:11] For Flop Date, the ones we're supposed to go on dates with to find out who we're the perfect

[33:14] mate of?

[33:16] Yoo-hoo!

[33:18] Boys!

[33:19] Oh, no.

[33:20] Oh, and what's your name, miss?

Dan McCoy

[33:23] I don't know.

[33:24] I'm an old lady, I'm a lady from an old cartoon.

[33:27] Woo-hoo!

[33:28] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[33:30] Probably, uh, like a flower name, like Petunia or something like that.

Elliott Kalan

[33:34] Yeah.

[33:34] This is going to make it harder to make Flop Date Island.

[33:37] That was going to be the next episode.

[33:39] It's going to end up being the three of us on an island.

Jesse Thorn

[33:45] Hi, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

[33:48] And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.

[33:50] Our comedy podcast, Jordan, Jesse, Go!

[33:53] just celebrated its 15th anniversary.

[33:56] It was a couple months ago, but we forgot.

[33:59] Uh, yeah, completely.

[34:00] Our silly show is 15 years old.

[34:03] That makes it old enough to get its learner's permit.

[34:06] And almost old enough to get the talk.

[34:09] Wow, I hope you got the talk before then.

[34:11] A lot of things have changed in 15 years.

[34:13] Our show's not one of them.

[34:15] We're never changing and you can't make us.

[34:18] Jordan, Jesse, Go!

[34:19] The same forever!

[34:21] At MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

S6

[34:27] Prepare yourself for the greatest pro wrestling podcast spectacular known as...

[34:32] ...and fights.

[34:33] A back-dropping audio showcase that helps you understand the world of pro wrestling with a lot of love and no toxic masculinity.

[34:42] Featuring host Danielle Radford.

Jesse Thorn

[34:45] Time to kick butt and chew gum.

[34:47] And I'm all out of butts.

S6

[34:49] Lindsay Cal.

Jesse Thorn

[34:50] I'm a brutal Brit and my fists were made to punch and hit.

S6

[34:54] And Hal Lublin.

[34:57] I was doing the voiceover this whole time.

Stuart Wellington

[34:59] Hear us talk about pro wrestling's greatest triumphs and failures.

[35:03] And make fun of its weekly absurdities.

S6

[35:06] On the perfect wrestling podcast.

[35:08] Fights and fights.

[35:11] Every Saturday, Saturday, Saturday on Maximum Fun.

S3

[35:15] So I'll ask the question to you guys.

[35:16] Where did you guys get hooked on this drug of watching a bad movie with other people?

[35:23] Like what was your first experience with it?

Dan McCoy

[35:27] Well, I got hooked on bad movies the nerdiest way.

[35:31] Through books.

[35:33] Which was my brother, my brothers John and Rob, I'm not sure whose it was specifically.

[35:42] They had the book, the Golden Turkey Awards by the Medved brothers who Michael Medved has gone on to be a terrible asshole.

[35:51] Speaking of assholes.

Elliott Kalan

[35:52] But at the time he was a lovable man who would just put out books ripping apart other people's movies.

[35:58] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[35:59] But, you know, like it was, it was a, you know, sort of one of the earlier like mainstream like, hey, let's all have fun laughing at bad movies things.

[36:11] And I read it cover to cover.

[36:14] I was fascinated with all the bad movies in there.

[36:17] That's kind of where like Plan 9 from Outer Space got its reputation.

[36:21] That was the one that they chose as the worst movie of all time.

[36:25] And then, of course, Mystery Science Theater later on.

[36:31] But, yeah.

[36:33] What about you guys?

[36:35] I had pretty much the same story.

Elliott Kalan

[36:36] So I can't really, I have nothing to add.

[36:38] So books?

[36:40] Like that exact book?

[36:41] Well, I didn't, I actually, I feel like I discovered those books after I discovered Mystery Science Theater.

[36:44] But that's not that.

[36:45] But I do remember showing my friends Mystery Science Theater and finding out that they did not find it as funny as I did and being horrified by this.

[36:53] And I think the only, the only thing I can compare it to is when I discovered Monty Python and showed it to my friends.

[36:58] And they did not find that as funny as I thought it was.

[37:00] And I was like, why am I friends with these people?

[37:02] Like what's, what's going on?

[37:03] I don't understand.

[37:04] But, but I guess I was searching for, again, that communal aspect.

Dan McCoy

[37:08] You were searching for young Dan McCoy in the basement of Juvie Hall.

S3

[37:12] Yeah, but like, seriously, if you would have shared, like I, same thing went for me with Monty Python.

[37:18] Like I got the scripts to the Monty Python sketches there.

[37:21] They published them.

[37:22] Yeah.

[37:22] And would share them with other, like I was sharing videotapes, things that I had and stuff like that.

[37:27] And none of my friends at that time, the ones that I'm not friends with on Facebook, none of them got it.

[37:31] Like they just were like, what is this weird shit?

[37:33] But like, I think if, yeah.

[37:35] Yeah, that's what we were going to say.

[37:37] Sorry.

[37:37] No, I just, I, I, it kind of makes sense that like you had that also, Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[37:42] We all had that one friend we tried to introduce to Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was not into it.

[37:49] And instead he just wanted to watch Major League every day for a summer.

[37:53] And you know what?

[37:53] You just watch it with them because they're your friend and Major League kind of rules.

[37:59] Yeah, right.

[38:00] We did all have that experience.

[38:01] That is a universal experience.

[38:02] Universal experience.

[38:04] And yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[38:05] As seen in Joseph Campbell's book, the hero with a thousand friends who don't want to watch Mystery Science Theater and just want to watch Major League every day for a summer.

[38:13] But we watched it anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[38:14] This hero only had the one friend.

[38:17] But I, so yeah, Mystery Science Theater was obviously my introduction.

[38:20] But then for me, like a big part of it was, uh, the communal aspect for me was in high school, the guys that I, uh, on, on the weekends, the guys that I would play role-playing games with.

[38:33] Like one night on the weekend, we would stay up, we'd stay up all night playing role-playing games.

[38:37] The next night we would go to Blockbuster or whatever local video store, family video, ideally, because they had the best selection.

[38:44] Uh, and pornography.

[38:46] Um, and we would rent like a handful of tapes and we would just sit around watching, uh, we would, it would almost always be bad horror movies.

[38:54] And we'd just watch a stack of bad horror movies and we'd complain the whole time.

[38:59] And, uh, that was great.

[39:00] And I missed that in somebody's stinky basement like mine.

Dan McCoy

[39:04] And, you know, as long as this movie, or this movie, as long as this episode of the Flophouse, uh, has kind of a Flophouse origins, uh, theme in it.

[39:13] Like, you know, when, uh, I first came to New York, uh, Stuart was here in New York as well.

[39:19] And I, we've said this in the past, but, um, you know, we, we didn't know each other so well in college.

[39:27] We had friends in common, but then being, you know, new to New York, uh, we started hanging out much more frequently.

[39:36] And most of what we did was we'd get together and be like, all right, what's the dumbest movie we could watch together?

[39:42] Uh, so that was even before the podcast, that was like early bonding for, uh, me and Stu.

Stuart Wellington

[39:50] Because we both wanted to watch the dumbest possible thing we could find from that video store on Atlantic Avenue, right?

[39:55] Yeah.

[39:56] Was it family video?

[39:57] Which one was, oh, that's hard.

[39:59] That's hard to remember.

[40:00] Or was it?

[40:01] Yeah, it was on Atlantic.

[40:02] Yeah, that was back.

[40:03] It doesn't matter.

[40:04] It's gone.

[40:04] No, I just 20 years.

Dan McCoy

[40:05] I just remember, like, you know, in the early days of the Flophouse, you know, it, it, it was videos.

[40:11] It was DVDs that we would be watching, you know, like I would go to what was nearby.

[40:16] And like, I remember one day I came back with Bratz and you guys were like, I don't know.

[40:23] I don't know about this.

[40:25] I got a feeling.

[40:26] We were like, did you want to watch this?

Elliott Kalan

[40:28] Did you rent this to watch after we left on your own?

[40:32] Or?

S3

[40:33] Yeah, I got put on a watch list for her.

[40:36] Worth it though.

[40:37] What a great movie.

[40:38] So, so question for you guys then, like you, I know life has put you guys up in different places and COVID isolation, stuff like that.

[40:47] So before in the olden days when you guys were recording this, you guys were watching the movie together, together the whole time.

[40:54] Yes.

[40:54] Like in the same room.

[40:56] Always in the same room.

Elliott Kalan

[40:57] And then we record it right afterwards in the same room.

[41:00] Immediately.

[41:00] Right.

[41:00] Yeah.

[41:00] And that's how these guys got to watch me eat so many chickens over the course of those years.

[41:05] It still haunts me.

Stuart Wellington

[41:07] And I would be like, and I would be getting drunk while watching the movie.

[41:10] So by the time we started recording, I was definitely drunk.

Elliott Kalan

[41:13] And you'd see, and Dan was tired because he'd either fallen asleep or was watching, looking at something on his phone.

Stuart Wellington

[41:20] That only happened one time that Dan fell asleep, but it was hilarious.

Elliott Kalan

[41:26] Yeah, it was one of the Transformers movies.

S3

[41:30] So, so then now you guys watch it separately or do you guys watch it on a shared call?

Elliott Kalan

[41:37] No, we watch it separately, which means that we're kind of back to watching a bad movie on our own.

[41:43] Although now we know that there's professional, semi-professional reason to do it.

[41:47] Right.

[41:49] But yeah, it's, or I guess Dan, Dan watches with Audrey.

[41:52] Stu, I don't know if Charlene watches with you.

[41:54] If I ever try to watch.

[41:54] Most of the time, no.

[41:55] Yeah.

[41:55] If I ever try to watch with my wife, she usually stops watching or falls asleep about 20 minutes in, 25 minutes in.

[42:00] So she still doesn't know who committed the crime in House of Gucci.

[42:04] So.

[42:05] It was Gucci.

[42:06] It was Gucci the whole time.

[42:07] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[42:07] The, but there is, we do get some of the communal aspect of it because it is fun to watch a bad movie by

[42:13] ourselves and then come together and like, I'm, I'm always looking forward to see what, what they have to say about it.

[42:21] And, uh, I like to be surprised when Dan likes the movie.

[42:25] Although at this point, I think I'm just going to assume he likes most movies.

[42:29] Yeah.

[42:29] Now I'm more surprised when he doesn't like the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[42:31] I just like movies, guys.

[42:33] Whenever we record, Dan just goes, you know, the magic of the movies.

[42:37] Fresh, fresh, fresh baked popcorn.

[42:40] And you got your, you got a Twizzler in one hand.

[42:44] Heartbreak feels good here.

Dan McCoy

[42:45] I'm sitting there with Nicole Kidman, you know, just watching the twinkles on the screen.

[42:50] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[42:52] Just give me those screen twinkles.

[42:54] Just make them extra twinkly and put them on the biggest screen you can get.

[42:58] Screen me those twinks.

[43:00] Oh no.

[43:02] No.

[43:04] Well, it's short for twinkles.

[43:05] Uh, but yeah.

[43:06] So, so Dan, Dan has become an old softie.

[43:08] I, uh, now that I, I know that, uh, I see my children getting older and see the sand running

[43:14] out of the hourglass of my life.

[43:15] I get angrier and angrier at these movies that I'm spending my time watching them.

Stuart Wellington

[43:18] You look in your hands and you see hairs falling out of your head.

Elliott Kalan

[43:23] I'm passing.

[43:24] Hairs falling out of my palms.

[43:26] The palms I, I earned that hair with all of my self-abuse over the years.

[43:30] And now I'm losing it?

[43:31] Terrible.

S3

[43:33] So would you guys, okay, I was going to ask that question about the, like watching it together.

[43:39] Cause I always assumed if you guys were watching it together, you guys were making comments,

[43:43] kind of almost, I almost would assume you would be making bits or like.

[43:47] No, Dan sometimes texts us while he's watching them.

[43:49] Okay.

[43:50] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[43:51] Okay.

[43:51] And we go, we go save it for the podcast, but maybe we should do that.

[43:54] Guys, maybe we should do that sometime.

[43:55] We'll watch it on like a, on like a Google Hangout.

[43:58] Do they still do that?

[43:59] We'll sync up.

[44:00] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[44:01] I mean, we could, uh, we, you'd have to text us when your dishwashing time is.

[44:07] I mean, I don't have to wash dishes while I watch those.

Dan McCoy

[44:09] A bunch of 30 minute chunks.

Elliott Kalan

[44:12] Yeah.

[44:12] That's true.

[44:13] Uh, and I would want you to be doing dishes too at the same time.

S3

[44:16] Elliot would often, Elliot would often, that's when I do calls with Elliot and I then termed

[44:21] it bath time.

[44:23] Cause it just sounded like Elliot was giving me a bath.

[44:26] Just like some wonderful audio.

Dan McCoy

[44:30] Uh, well you, you, you clink and clank like a porcelain too.

[44:34] So that's the other part of it.

[44:35] Exactly.

S3

[44:37] Half my body here in Canada.

[44:39] That's what it is.

Elliott Kalan

[44:40] Well, I feel like we've answered all the questions we set out to answer tonight.

[44:44] Why do people watch bad movies?

[44:46] What is a new key?

[44:48] Uh, what's, and it turns out the answer is the friends we made along the way.

[44:52] Uh, that's the answer to all those questions.

[44:54] Yeah.

[44:55] Um, so Eric, is there anything else you, any final thoughts you wanted to give to us before

[45:00] we close out this miniature kind of a little diorama episode of, uh, of the flop house,

[45:07] a little nutshell episode of the flop house, like, uh, that little library of murder scenes

[45:11] that that person put together to, uh, to teach forensics people about.

[45:15] Do you know the one I'm talking about?

[45:16] What?

[45:17] Anyway, nevermind.

[45:18] Uh, Eric, did you have any, did you have any, did you have any parting shots?

S3

[45:24] No, just keep on trucking guys.

[45:26] You know, I'd love, I'd love to hear you guys even more.

[45:29] You know, that, I feel like that's been a request I've had with Dan from when the show

[45:32] longer episodes is what I'm hearing.

[45:34] No, seriously, longer, longer episodes or like more often.

[45:38] I'm happy.

[45:38] I love that you guys do the minis.

[45:40] This is the right.

Elliott Kalan

[45:41] This is the time to announce it.

[45:42] We're going daily, everybody, a new episode every day.

S3

[45:45] Oh God.

Elliott Kalan

[45:46] Now, would you, if we, if somehow our pledges were at such a high level that this could be

[45:51] our only job, would you consider doing a daily episode of this show?

[45:55] Every day we watch a better than a quarter of a minute.

Dan McCoy

[45:57] If it was our, if, well, I mean like what kind of money are we talking about?

Elliott Kalan

[46:00] I mean like, not, I mean you're not rich, but like you don't have to worry until the show

[46:04] ends and then you have no retirement savings.

[46:06] And no skills.

[46:08] And no skills.

[46:08] Yeah.

[46:08] And you're certainly not earning Guild health insurance off of the podcast.

S3

[46:12] Yeah.

[46:13] But like there's, there's the, there's the fan in me and also the bullshit artist producer

[46:18] who'd be like, yeah, guys, trust me.

[46:19] There's going to be an audience for you.

[46:21] If you do this every day of your life, like they're going to be coming for you.

[46:23] You guys are going to be influencers all over.

[46:25] You guys are going to move together into an influencer house.

[46:28] Oh yeah.

[46:28] And you're totally going to like, yeah, it's going to be the flop house house.

Elliott Kalan

[46:30] We've just got to, we've just got to pump out that 10 to 15 hours of content a week

[46:34] and we'll be, we'll be sitting pretty.

Dan McCoy

[46:36] Speaking of this being the only job I have, uh, before we say goodbye to Eric, uh, I just

[46:42] want to mention the live show.

[46:45] Oh, we probably should have mentioned that at the top.

[46:47] Theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[46:51] Theflophouse.simpleticks.

[46:52] That's T-I-X.com.

Elliott Kalan

[46:55] Not T-I-C-K-S like, ah, Lyme disease.

Dan McCoy

[46:57] T-I-X, like short for tickets.

[46:59] For, uh, $10, you can get yourself a ticket to the Masters of the Universe live streaming

[47:06] show.

[47:07] We're doing a live show, but we're doing it online because we still don't feel comfortable

[47:11] touring out in the world.

[47:12] So, um, on Saturday, March 19th at 9 p.m. Eastern, that's 6 p.m. where Elliot lives on

[47:22] the other coast.

[47:23] What are we going to be reviewing?

[47:25] We got Masters of the Universe from 1987, uh, based on He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

Elliott Kalan

[47:31] The live action He-Man movie.

[47:33] I'll talk about this when we, when we, when we do the show that is my first experience,

[47:37] I think, as a kid with seeing an adaptation of a property I loved made by adults who could

[47:43] not care less about it and are just going to change everything they can about it because

[47:46] they don't care.

[47:47] Uh, so it was a very jarring experience for me as a young person, but I haven't watched

[47:51] the movie since then as a result.

[47:52] So we're going to see.

Stuart Wellington

[47:53] I was very into it as a kid.

[47:55] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[47:57] Um, yeah.

[47:58] So we'll discuss the movie.

[48:01] We'll, uh, do some, uh, presentations and other comedy bits.

[48:05] Uh, this is not a, uh, this is not a, uh, you're going to get to see my apartment.

Stuart Wellington

[48:07] You're going to get to see Elliot's, uh, torture garage and Dan's bookshelf.

[48:12] It's going to be great.

[48:13] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[48:13] It's just a garage.

[48:15] This is, this is, yeah, this is not a, uh, screening of the movie.

[48:18] We do not have the rights to masters of the universe.

[48:20] Uh, this is just, you know, what we would do on the road, which is, you know, talk about

[48:25] a movie plus other stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[48:28] Yeah.

[48:28] We'll be doing our presentations and questions from the audience and talking about masters

[48:33] of the universe starring Dolph Lundgren, Courtney Cox, Frank Langella, and Billy Barty.

[48:38] The only movie with that cast.

[48:40] So if you want to hear about those actors, this is your one chance.

Dan McCoy

[48:45] But, uh, Eric, thank you for joining us, uh, from the frozen North.

[48:49] Is there anything you want to plug or anything?

S3

[48:51] Uh, I could plug Far Cry 6, but I'm not getting a kickback because I left the company.

[48:56] So it doesn't really go into my bank account, but, uh, Far Cry 6.

[49:01] I work on video games and they take like five years to make.

[49:04] We put a lot of heart and soul into it and then it just kind of goes.

[49:08] So I'm working on something that'll come out in like four years.

[49:11] So I'll be back maybe in four years to plug that one.

Dan McCoy

[49:14] Yeah, but you can plug it for people to, you know, enjoy your work, you know?

[49:20] Yeah.

[49:20] And you've, uh, you've snuck, uh, Flophouse references into, uh, stuff in the past.

S3

[49:26] Every game I work on, I have you guys in there in multiple degrees.

[49:30] I even have like at the end, I worked on the Eastern campaign.

[49:34] The country's broken up into three parts of, uh, on Far Cry 6.

[49:37] And at the end, there's a bad guy that you have to face off with.

[49:41] And if you don't kill him, you have the option to not kill him.

[49:43] I'm spoiling the ending for you.

[49:45] If you don't pull the trigger on him, he'll just call somebody.

[49:49] You're in the room with him, but he'll just start calling like other pieces of shit like himself.

[49:54] And some of the people on the call are Elliot, uh, Stewart, and just references those guys.

[50:05] And I think he even mentions the house cat, but it's just, it's just, I just throw in things there just to be like,

[50:10] Eh, I don't know if anybody will find it, but maybe the, the, the Flophouse players who-

[50:14] People find it.

[50:16] They'll find it.

[50:17] So you guys are in there.

[50:18] And the bad guy's name is McKay.

[50:20] We tried McCoy, but everybody was just like, it's going to be Star Trek.

[50:24] So it got morphed into McKay.

[50:27] So you were, you, Dan, you, you were going to be the piece of shit asshole of the whole campaign.

[50:33] That was the original plan.

[50:35] Inspired by at least.

[50:36] Yes.

[50:37] Yeah.

[50:38] Yeah.

[50:38] Based on a true story.

[50:39] Right.

Elliott Kalan

[50:41] He's an evil college professor.

[50:44] Yeah.

[50:47] Well, Eric, thank you so much for joining us.

[50:49] Uh, Dan and Stewart.

[50:50] It's always a great time, uh, spending time with my friends talking bad movie stuff.

[50:55] And thank you listeners for tuning into this special Flophouse mini walk down slightly

[51:01] Memorly Lane.

[51:02] Memorly Lane is what I called it.

[51:04] Memorly Lane.

[51:05] Tension Lane.

[51:05] It's, Memorly Lane was named after Fred Memorly, the inventor of-

[51:09] Memories.

[51:10] Memories.

[51:12] And when, and when he was telling, he wanted to name it after himself, but he, the patent

[51:15] office guy was here taking it over a, over the phone and he misheard it and he misspelled

[51:20] it.

[51:20] Yeah.

[51:20] So anyway, uh, thanks for listening.

[51:23] Uh, again, that's our live show is on March 19th.

[51:26] Uh, tickets are available now though at, what was it, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[51:30] Uh, theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

Elliott Kalan

[51:34] And we'll be back with you next week with another all new episode of-

[51:39] The Flophouse.

[51:40] The Flophouse.

[51:41] That Flophouse.

[51:42] We'll work on that.

[51:43] Is that a thing we do?

[51:44] Bye, everybody.

[51:45] Bye.

[51:46] See ya.

[51:52] Maximumfun.org.

Jesse Thorn

[51:54] Comedy and culture.

[51:55] Artist owned.

[51:57] Audience supported.

FH Mini 48 - A Trip Down Memory Lane with Nukie, featuring Erik Marcisak

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