FH Mini 51 - Talkin' Toys with T'Elliott

[0:00] Hello, everybody. Welcome to another Flophouse Mini. That's right. It's the Flophouse, but

[0:09] not at the maxi size. It's the mini size with wings. And tonight we wanted to do a special

[0:15] mini to help promote and endorse our Flophouse virtual live show, which is happening this

[0:21] evening. If you're listening to this on the day of its release, which is Saturday, March

[0:26] 19th, then today you can watch our Flophouse live virtual show where we talk about Masters

[0:32] of the Universe. It starts at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific. To get tickets, you just go to

[0:37] theflophouse.simpletics.com. Now, if you're listening to this a couple days after release,

[0:41] you missed the show, I'm sorry to say, but you can still buy a ticket and download the recording

[0:46] of the show. You have one week to do that. After that week, the show will disappear forever and

[0:50] no one will ever see it again. We've got new presentations from us. Dan has some kind of

[0:54] surprise thing that he's not going to tell us what it is. Stu says he has a surprise.

[0:58] I'm just going to be there. I'm taking bets. Elliot and I have been taking bets,

[1:02] but I think Dan's going to show Hole. I didn't. Yeah, I'm betting no, but Stuart's been betting

[1:08] yes. And so that's the if you want to see if Dan shows Hole, that's theflophouse.simpletics.com

[1:15] today. That's up to you, Dan. And so in order to in order to get people in the mood for a

[1:22] movie like no, not for you, not for your hole, Dan, or holes. It's not happening now in order

[1:29] to get people in the mood for Masters of the Universe, a movie based on a toy line.

[1:33] I thought today we'd take a look at toys based on movies. That's right. It's time for Elliot

[1:38] Kalin's once every 35 years, 10 best movie related action figures. That's right. I did

[1:44] one when I was five years old, 35 years ago, and I'll do one again in the future when I'm 75 years

[1:48] old. It's a 35 year thing like Haley's Comet. If it Haley's Comet came around 35 years instead of

[1:53] whatever it is, 70 something. So today, Dan, Stu, why don't you come with me on a little walk down

[1:59] toy memory lane as we look at Elliot's choices for the top 10 best movie related action figures

[2:05] now? And these are now again, these are toy lines based on movies. These are not toys that were

[2:10] adapted into movies. So there's no Ninja Turtles on this list. There's no Thunder cats is there's

[2:15] no Transformers is any of that stuff. So wait, do they make a they make a Thundercats movie?

[2:21] Uh, well, they've been talking about making one for a long time. You know,

[2:25] what about Thunderbirds movie? I know that. But that's not the same thing. No,

[2:32] they wait. They made of the birds movie. Yeah, they made up the birds movie. It's called the

[2:36] birds. It's based on the movie of the same name. So the movie is based on the movie of the same

[2:45] name. Yeah. OK, interesting. That's it's the Alfred Hitchcock was really eating his own tail

[2:51] on that one. So which was good because he didn't want people to know he had a tail. So that was

[2:55] the only way to get rid of it back then. They didn't have the surgery to eat it right off.

[2:58] Like turning red. I sent you guys a packet of photos. So feel free to go to the first page

[3:05] of that packet. Please don't look ahead to the later pictures. And you should be seeing number

[3:11] 10. Dan Stewart, can you describe what you're seeing here? Well, it is a grim one. Yeah,

[3:18] I will say that much. It looks like Mohawk. It's Stripe. Stripe. Oh, sorry. The later one. I

[3:26] couldn't remember. They both have Mohawks is the confusing thing. Mohawks is more of a more

[3:31] of a spiky thing. Spiky Mohawk has white hair because he's a silver fox. Yeah. Stripe is

[3:39] Stripe. Stripe. Trickster King of the Gremlins. And that's a great way to describe him. He's like

[3:44] coyote. He looks a little bit out of shape. I guess that's kind of a pun because he's literally

[3:51] a plastic thing that has been kind of bent around. I mean, Gremlins are like we're twisted

[3:56] creatures. Yeah. And this one is literally twisted. So this is a Gremlins rubber figure

[4:01] from 1984. This is a toy I had and I loved very much. As you can see from the picture,

[4:05] he's kind of doing kind of a shimmy Charleston type dance. They were very hard to get to stand

[4:09] up properly. And the best this person could do was bend the knees inward and have the hands kind of

[4:15] like off to the side as if he's dancing. So this is my number 10 pick for the best movie related

[4:20] toys. It was a bendy stripe. It looked great. It felt rubbery like you imagine real Gremlin

[4:25] skin would feel. And adding to the excitement of it was the fact that I played with it so much

[4:30] that the metal wires inside that held its shape started poking out through the rubber skin.

[4:35] And it was just like my bones. Yeah, exactly. So just like the real stripe, it was very dangerous

[4:40] to play with. Watch out, everybody. And also you shouldn't get it wet because it would not dry,

[4:44] it would just smell. Yeah, that's good. Good point. Did you ever try feeding that shit after

[4:50] midnight? I mean, it was be pointless. He's a Gremlin already. But what happens? What happens

[4:55] if you feed a Gremlin after midnight? Does it become a super Gremlin? It does because I have

[4:59] just becomes a super Gremlin or it goes back and becomes a mogwai. No, I never tried it before.

[5:04] So that's that's the Gremlins figure. Do you guys have any Gremlins toy memories?

[5:09] I don't have any Gremlins toy memories. A couple years back, I think it was our first Christmas

[5:15] together as as, you know, partnered in any way. Audrey got me a Gremlin figure that has it's

[5:22] from the original movie. And it's got a lot of the movie theater, you know, accoutrement,

[5:29] like it has three glasses and a beer and a cigarette and popcorn bags you can put on the

[5:36] ears. It's a nice little I've I've lost at least two of these smaller items that came along with

[5:45] it already. But I am very fond of my Gremlins figure. What about you, Stu? Yeah, so just like

[5:51] you guys, I love Gremlins two. And when Gremlins two came out, there was a I think Topps put out

[5:58] a series of trading cards and I obsessively collected them at the time. I probably should

[6:03] have identified this as a signifier of upcoming addictive obsession habits. And I should have

[6:11] nipped in the bud. Unfortunately, I did not. Yeah. And then at the same time, I was playing

[6:16] the Nintendo game Gremlins two, which was based on the movie. And that was the first Nintendo game

[6:22] based on the birds. I think that was the first Nintendo game that I beat. And I remember taking

[6:27] a picture of the end game screen. That couldn't have been the first game I beat. Ducktales is the

[6:32] first game I beat. Yeah. But I feel like Gremlins two was a game that I beat. And I'm like, hell,

[6:37] yeah. So I took a picture and I sent that shit in the Nintendo Power. Did not hear back from them.

[6:43] Their loss. That was a fun game. I look no shades to a little bit of an easy game,

[6:49] but a very fun game. Well, why do you think they didn't print it? Nintendo Power. I sent it in

[6:53] and Nestor opened up the envelope and was like this easy stuff, not not magazine worthy. You

[6:57] know what? I just remembered that I had that I really loved was I don't I think it was like

[7:03] some sort of fast food tie in. Maybe I had a series of records that told the story of Gremlins.

[7:13] Yes. Yeah, I had those also. Yeah. And there was a lot of storybooks that told it. There's

[7:18] one called what Billy's New Pet or something like that. Anyway, I had a lot of Gremlins toys as a

[7:22] kid. A lot of them are still at my mom's apartment. We had so many gizmos. But this one, I think,

[7:27] has disappeared, which is good because it was. Well, I was always a gizmo, never a stripe.

[7:34] We had gizmos up the wazoo. Anyway, so let's move on to the next one. Don't scroll. Just

[7:39] go to the next page. Just go to the next one you had. Oh, OK, so now we're going to number nine.

[7:46] This is Showtime Beetlejuice from 1989. Dan, can you describe this toy?

[7:50] This supposedly ill thought out toy. Yeah. So if you imagine in Beetlejuice where he says

[7:57] it's Showtime, that that is that is what makes this Showtime Beetlejuice because he's got the,

[8:05] you know, like the carousel head hat kind of thing with like bat wings around. He doesn't have

[8:12] the long hammer arms, mallet arms that he does have at that point in the thing. But they have

[8:20] tossed in on the side a banister Beetlejuice snake, you know, the snake with the Beetlejuice

[8:27] head. Although it is really tiny, it looks like kind of a it's like smaller than his arm. Yeah,

[8:35] it's made it's made to kind of attach to his arm. And here, according to the packaging,

[8:38] it's called a rotten rattler. And so the reason I included this was this was my first experience

[8:43] with Beetlejuice was seeing this toy at a friend's house and having no idea what it could possibly be.

[8:50] It does not look like Beetlejuice character very much like the sculpt does not look like. Yeah,

[8:55] I'm sure you were able to easily extrapolate what the plot of the movie was like. OK, this guy has

[9:01] a carnival for a head. So he's probably a couple that die in an accident. It was really I feel like

[9:10] my first experience of Beetlejuice was this toy, then the Beetlejuice cartoon. And only many years

[9:14] later, the movie. So for years, I thought that Beetlejuice was the star of the movie Beetlejuice

[9:18] and didn't realize that if anything, he's the villain of the movie. But yeah, this was I always

[9:22] thought it was a strange choice to make your Beetlejuice figure from one moment in the movie

[9:26] when his head is misshapen. Yeah, I went into something else. We have to talk about that in the

[9:31] upper right corner of the packaging. We have a Beetlejuice who has, you know, again, he's got

[9:38] human legs and arms and hands or at least Beetlejuice human legs, arms and hands. But his

[9:46] face is sort of the snake Beetlejuice. He's got like a snake head like he's one of the bad guys.

[9:53] The word balloon says, can I be scary or what? And then above that, you'll notice it says ages four.

[10:00] and up, which seems wildly inappropriate.

[10:03] Yeah, very little playing with this.

[10:05] Very optimistic.

[10:07] There's something and there's a and I'm going to touch on this,

[10:09] actually, in the He-Man Live show is the inappropriateness in the 1980s

[10:13] of what materials were deemed licensable for children's merchandise.

[10:17] It was just like anything goes.

[10:19] And it doesn't matter how scary or rated the movie, you know.

[10:22] And this is after the like Saturday Night Live

[10:25] Dan Aykroyd sketches where they make jokes about toy manufacturers

[10:29] not giving a fuck about killing kids with their horrible toys.

[10:33] Yes.

[10:33] And it was right before the classic Big Red commercial, which is during.

[10:36] Yeah, yeah, the big the big red SNL commercial, which is a Viking

[10:40] whose helmet spins and just squirts red toxic goop all over the place.

[10:45] So, yeah, people knew that toys that kids played with toys.

[10:48] They didn't think like, oh, yeah, an adult would like this.

[10:50] At the time, kids toys were for kids, you know.

[10:52] So let's move on to the next one.

[10:54] This can be a more this is a slightly more modern toy.

[10:56] Let's go to number eight.

[10:58] And I'm sure you recognize all the characters in this.

[11:03] Yeah, this is this is a Star Wars set.

[11:05] These are some of your favorite characters.

[11:06] Is that Juca's Baron Papa Noda tier to Neil and Chi Curie?

[11:13] And this, of course, everyone knows that this is the Star Wars

[11:15] Lucas Collectors set, which is the set collecting all the characters

[11:19] George Lucas and his kids played in the Star Wars prequels.

[11:22] And I got to say, it's a pretty it's a pretty cool move for a dad to do that.

[11:26] Yeah, I mean, that's a fucking flex.

[11:29] That's amazing.

[11:30] What's amazing also is if you look at this smaller picture,

[11:33] one of the figures, the Chi Curie figure, I think it is,

[11:36] is side eyeing the George Lucas figure like, Dad,

[11:38] I can't believe you made me dress up like this.

[11:42] Then one of my big regrets is when I when I got a tour of Industrial Light

[11:46] and Magic years ago is not buying this in the gift shop that they had

[11:52] because it would be because I just thought it was such a crazy thing

[11:55] to have where it was like, yeah, yeah, I love Star Wars so much

[11:58] that I want toys of the creators family that I can play with.

[12:01] Because like in terms of, you know, being in the movie,

[12:05] I don't know exactly what these characters are, but they kind of all

[12:10] like they give the vibe of like, oh, they would be standing behind

[12:15] Queen Amidala in one scene. Yeah.

[12:18] Yes. Yes, very much so.

[12:19] These are not major characters,

[12:20] but Star Wars has never let that stop them from making a toy

[12:23] that a character is only appears in one frame.

[12:25] You know, like it's one thing.

[12:26] It's one thing to do this.

[12:28] And it's another thing to wear, like as a as a wrap gift for Peter Jackson.

[12:34] Some of the crew got together and hired the Perry Twins,

[12:38] the miniature sculptors to sculpt up a set of figurines of Peter

[12:42] and Fran and their kids as 28 millimeter figurines, which is amazing.

[12:48] And I think that's super cool.

[12:49] And he also he also commissioned those same sculptors

[12:52] to sculpt up a line of New Zealand World War One infantry,

[12:55] which is super cool, too.

[12:57] But he didn't try and sell them to to people that aren't his family.

[13:01] Yeah, he didn't package them and then sell them.

[13:03] You'll notice also, it says in the corner here, ages four plus

[13:06] four year old love to play with George Lucas's family members.

[13:09] It's just they love it.

[13:11] The it's it's a it's a weird it's a weird flex to be like,

[13:15] you want to complete Star Wars figure set by my children.

[13:19] So let's move on to the next the next page.

[13:21] Yes. Now, this is this is a more even if anything, an even more niche product

[13:27] than the Lucas family figures.

[13:29] Yeah, this is this is from the silent screamers line from 2000, 2001,

[13:35] which was the strange thing of they look like McFarlane toys,

[13:38] but they're not McFarlane toys where they are horror toys of characters

[13:41] from silent movies.

[13:42] And this is Maria from Metropolis.

[13:45] One. Yeah, I want a figure of Maria from Metropolis,

[13:47] maybe the greatest robot in the movies.

[13:49] I mean, it's like C3PO, but a lady.

[13:51] But the things I think are funny about this is that the sculpt for this figure

[13:55] has made her boobs so much bigger than they are in the movie.

[13:57] They're they're giant.

[13:59] Yeah. Well, also, she's sitting with her legs splayed wider,

[14:02] weighed apart in the packaging.

[14:04] Like, yeah, mostly the packaging.

[14:07] You just have like someone just standing there.

[14:09] But this this is a figure that I've never seen before.

[14:12] Someone just standing there.

[14:14] But this this is Maria spreading this robot.

[14:17] Yeah. Well, she's sitting on the throne where she's for where she turns into

[14:21] where she loses her robot shape and becomes Maria.

[14:24] The the taking the form of the the worker's daughter.

[14:28] Yes. But there is something yet it does look like her legs are kind of cocked

[14:31] at a at like a sexy angle, you know, guys.

[14:35] And I want to talk to you.

[14:35] Is there anything nerdier than and I have a reason for asking this.

[14:39] Is there anything nerdier than buying a kind of gritty action figure

[14:44] of a character from a silent horror film from the 1920s?

[14:49] You know what? I would normally say no, but I feel like this is a setup for

[14:53] something. No. Yeah, right, guys.

[14:56] I think no, I think you're right.

[14:57] It's true. We can say yes or no.

[14:58] I was going to say, like, I feel like this if I if I bring somebody home

[15:03] to show them my well-appointed

[15:06] living room and I have my display cabinet

[15:09] where I put all my in packaged figurines,

[15:13] I would probably put this one near the back.

[15:16] Now, I'm asking you this because I did not own this figure,

[15:19] but I did own a different figure from this line, the Caesar,

[15:22] the somnambulist figure from the cabinet of Dr.

[15:24] Caligari, who that figure.

[15:28] It's like it's super, you know, Edward Scissorhands gothy looking,

[15:32] but it also kind of looks like the artist Michael Allred, creator of Madman.

[15:36] Now, I want you to scroll down.

[15:37] There's a runner up for number seven on this list.

[15:40] If you scroll down just the next one and that in runner up.

[15:44] Let me know when you get there.

[15:45] Oh, my. The runner up is the Nosferatu figure of the same silent screamers line.

[15:50] And the reason this really to me is one is one of the few figures

[15:54] that comes with several mice, several dead rats as things

[15:57] that you can have as accessories.

[15:58] But also, I think it's possibly the least antisemitic Nosferatu

[16:02] I've ever seen, which really hit me that they managed to make one

[16:06] that did not feel like it was a cartoon in a newspaper.

[16:09] I have to say that this feels like

[16:13] the spitting image version of Nosferatu,

[16:17] the British puppet satire.

[16:19] Yeah. Like they did a version.

[16:22] Very Punch and Judy Nosferatu.

[16:24] Yeah. It's a little distorted from what, you know, from the F.W.

[16:29] Murnau movie.

[16:30] I feel like that was I feel like the packaging makes some promises

[16:35] that I don't know if it's going to be able to keep like it says

[16:37] featuring skin burns when exposed to sun.

[16:42] Yeah, I never had this one.

[16:43] So I don't know if that actually happened or not.

[16:45] Seems like a rat base with extra rats.

[16:48] Oh, man. Yeah, like I get it.

[16:53] One rat is fine.

[16:55] Rats. And you'll notice that this one also the base connected to the base

[16:58] of the Renfield figure, which was sold separately.

[17:01] But you're right. These these figures were done with like this.

[17:04] You know, this kind of twisted 90s kind of like distorted style.

[17:08] There was around this time that they had these like

[17:10] like twisted Wizard of Oz figures, too, where they were all kind of like

[17:14] tough and scary.

[17:15] And that's it was along those lines.

[17:17] It was in that kind of Marilyn Manson.

[17:18] We're going to take Alice in Wonderland or whatever and make it like

[17:21] make it Cormac McCarthy twisted.

[17:23] Ellie, yeah.

[17:24] Would you say this is your daddy's Nosferatu?

[17:27] I would say this is not your daddy's Nosferatu

[17:29] because your daddy didn't have a Nosferatu.

[17:31] Your great grandfather had a Nosferatu.

[17:34] Yeah. Yeah.

[17:36] So before before we take a brief break for ads,

[17:39] I want to just go down to one more.

[17:40] I want to go out to the next the next one.

[17:42] Go down to the next page.

[17:44] So this is number six.

[17:45] Don't scroll fast. Number six.

[17:48] And so, Dan, can you describe this story?

[17:50] You describe this figure since you had such a reaction to it.

[17:53] Well, it looks like a shirtless, unmuscled man with a mustache

[17:59] described as German mechanic action figure from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

[18:04] Yeah, that's right.

[18:05] And you'll notice that somehow, according to this, this picture

[18:07] I took from the Internet, it was on sale for two dollars and eleven cents,

[18:10] which is a strange price.

[18:12] It's a strange number to put on a price tag.

[18:14] I would like to highlight the inset.

[18:16] There's a little there's a little inset picture of the figure in action

[18:22] that says quick action arm for realistic play.

[18:26] That's what I'm looking for.

[18:27] I don't know what unrealistic play would be like.

[18:31] It's like, I'm sorry, Bobby.

[18:32] You're you're you're moving that action figure around,

[18:35] but it just doesn't feel like a realistic play to me.

[18:37] So and again, yeah, he just ages for not ages for not the character

[18:43] of the the beefy Nazi that punches Indy in the face

[18:46] before being killed by a propeller is for ages four and up, of course.

[18:50] Now, this figure.

[18:51] Well, what I like about it is partly one.

[18:54] It's a character you would not expect them to make a toy of.

[18:56] He's only in one scene and there's nothing particularly distinctive about him

[18:59] other than being bald and having a mustache to that.

[19:02] They call him German mechanic as opposed to like Nazi soldier

[19:05] or something like that, because the fact that he's a mechanic

[19:08] doesn't really play into his character.

[19:10] No, he doesn't.

[19:11] We mostly just wrench or anything, you know, punches.

[19:14] And but also that when you look at the actual figure itself,

[19:17] he just kind of looks like a dad.

[19:19] He looks like a dad who took his shirt off to wash the car.

[19:22] Yeah, he looks significantly less intimidating than he does in the movie.

[19:25] And the movie, you're like, oh, man, this dude is going to fuck Indy up.

[19:29] But the figure, you're like, oh, no, he's a little potato.

[19:32] Yeah, no, he's not.

[19:33] He's got a dad bod a little bit.

[19:35] He's, you know, a little bit, you know,

[19:39] he doesn't have enough body hair to be a bear, but he's got like,

[19:43] you know, a nice mustache.

[19:45] I think I like that this is a Kenner figure,

[19:49] you know, Kenner, obviously known

[19:52] for the original Star Wars action figures.

[19:55] Like the GI Joe's.

[19:56] Well, was that Hasbro?

[19:59] G.I. Joe's Hasbro.

[20:00] I do believe, but Kenner, of course, famously got the Star Wars, uh, got the Star Wars license

[20:07] and rode that to the money bank as opposed to, I don't know, the other kinds of banks.

[20:13] To the goblin bank.

[20:14] A sperm bank, where they'd be like, why are you bringing these toys here?

[20:17] This is, this, we don't want people to use these while they're, while they're delivering.

[20:21] Or the blood bank, which is where Blade hangs out outside waiting for suck heads to walk

[20:25] in and he's like, I'm gonna smoke y'all.

[20:27] Now this one doesn't come with any accessories, but if it did, I imagine it would come with

[20:30] like a can of beer and probably like a little portable black and white television set that

[20:35] it could, it could, it could prop in a garage on top of a workbench.

[20:39] Yeah.

[20:40] Or like a folding chair.

[20:41] Or a pretzel.

[20:42] Or a pretzel would fit really well.

[20:43] Like a big, a big doughy pretzel.

[20:44] I would love a pretzel.

[20:45] Kenner, give him a pretzel.

[20:46] Come on.

[20:47] Hang out with that guy with a pretzel and some beer.

[20:48] Yeah.

[20:49] Yeah.

[20:50] So you have to imagine that at some point, a kid got this toy, took it out of the package,

[20:59] of course they want to play with it, and then left it in a box and that someone then found

[21:03] it without the packaging and was like, why does he have a shirtless, like a shirtless

[21:07] hairless bear daddy?

[21:09] Like why does he have a toy of this?

[21:12] Because there's nothing else about him that, that particularly screams adventure.

[21:16] Now was, now was Roadblock the GI Joe guy who kind of looked like this or was that Leatherneck?

[21:23] I mean, this, this guy reminds me of a Sergeant Slaughter, but without the hat and the sunglasses.

[21:28] And he wore a shirt.

[21:29] It sounds like you're talking about all of his distinguishing characteristics.

[21:32] Yeah.

[21:33] Yep.

[21:34] Now, let's take a break.

[21:35] I've got a few more toys for us to go through, but don't scroll ahead.

[21:38] Let's take a break because we've got some sponsors on this episode.

[21:41] Dan, would you like to tell us, tell, the sponsors are not toy makers, unfortunately.

[21:47] Dan, who's sponsoring us on this episode?

[21:49] It's a real hard left turn.

[21:50] I want to talk to you briefly about microdosing.

[21:54] This is a time of, uh, I feel like that goes hand in hand with laughing about toys.

[21:58] It really is.

[21:59] It does.

[22:00] This is a time in our lives, guys, where, you know, maybe we want to chill out a little

[22:05] bit without impairing our judgment.

[22:08] I think that is kind of the vibe of a current society.

[22:14] Yeah.

[22:15] If you've heard about microdosing, if you search around a bit on the internet, you know

[22:18] that a lot of people are doing it to just feel better, to like chill out, to perform

[22:24] better.

[22:25] Our show today is sponsored by Microdose Gummies.

[22:29] The Microdose Gummies deliver a perfect entry-level dose of THC that helps you feel the right

[22:35] amount of good.

[22:38] I have had experience with them.

[22:39] I will say they do make you feel the right amount of good.

[22:44] Yeah, I'll back you up on that.

[22:46] They don't mess you up.

[22:47] They just, maybe you're just a little more equipped to handle what the world throws at

[22:54] you.

[22:57] I have enjoyed them.

[22:58] I will say that.

[23:00] Microdose is available nationwide.

[23:03] To learn more about microdosing THC, just do a quick search online or go to microdosegummies.com.

[23:10] And use code FLOP, that's F-L-O-P, to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.

[23:18] Links can be found in the show description, but again, that is microdosegummies.com and

[23:23] code FLOP.

[23:25] Hey, the show is also sponsored by Squarespace.

[23:31] You know what?

[23:32] You probably need a website.

[23:35] And Squarespace is that all-in-one platform for building that website and growing your

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[24:39] And when you're ready to launch, use your offer code FLOP to save 10% off your first

[24:44] purchase of a website or domain.

[24:47] Like if you're trying to create a website that's all about Elliott's favorite toys,

[24:52] you can do that now and make it look much more professional than what Elliott gave us

[24:56] to look at these pictures of toys.

[24:58] I mean, I didn't know I needed to make it publication ready.

[25:02] I think you're doing just fine, buddy.

[25:07] This internally used document had to be hitting the stands tomorrow.

[25:14] It's literally just a Word document, or I sent it to you as a PDF, I guess, where it's

[25:17] a one picture with a line of text on it.

[25:20] There's just a certain level of professionalism I've come to expect from podcasters.

[25:25] I want to remind everybody, as I mentioned before, if you're listening to this on the

[25:28] day of release, that's Saturday, March 19th, that today is the day of our Flophouse live

[25:34] virtual show where we're talking about Masters of the Universe, the greatest movie based

[25:38] on a toy line.

[25:39] No, of course it's not.

[25:40] But I can't think of any off the top of my head that are better.

[25:43] It's going to be at 9pm Eastern, 6pm Pacific, it's only $10 for your ticket.

[25:47] And if you get it, you have one week of access to the downloaded video.

[25:50] We're going to have some new merchandise for sale during the show that's only available

[25:54] during the week of the show, and we're going to be doing new presentations and stuff.

[25:57] It's going to be great.

[25:58] That's theflophouse.simpletix.com for tickets, theflophouse.simpletix.com.

[26:05] So that's tonight, 9pm Eastern, 6pm Pacific, theflophouse.simpletix.com.

[26:09] Hi, I'm Jesse Thorne, the founder of Maximum Fun, and I have a special announcement.

[26:18] I'm no longer embarrassed by my brother, my brother in me.

[26:22] You know, for years, each new episode of this supposed advice show was a fresh insult, a

[26:29] depraved jumble of erection jokes, ghost humor, and frankly, this is for the best, very little

[26:36] actionable advice.

[26:39] But now as they enter their twilight years, I'm as surprised as anyone to admit that it's

[26:44] gotten kind of good.

[26:45] Justin, Travis, and Griffin's witticisms are more refined, like a humor column in a fancy

[26:51] magazine, and they hardly ever say bazinga anymore.

[26:55] So after you've completely finished listening to every single one of all of our other shows,

[27:01] why not join the McElroy brothers every week for My Brother, My Brother in Me?

[27:07] Maximum Fun is a network by and for cool, popular people, but did you know it also has

[27:12] an offering designed to appeal to nerds?

[27:15] A show for nerds?

[27:17] On Maximum Fun?

[27:18] The devil, you say?

[27:20] It's true!

[27:21] It's called The Greatest Generation, and they review episodes of a television program for

[27:26] nerds called Star Trek.

[27:28] They've reviewed TNG, DS9, and are now reviewing Voyager.

[27:32] Hey, Star Trek, my daughter enjoys that program.

[27:36] Well if she enjoys that, and she enjoys humor of the flatulent variety, might I recommend

[27:40] she subscribe to The Greatest Generation?

[27:43] Hey, are you calling my kid a nerd?

[27:45] Why, I oughta.

[27:47] Well, gotta go!

[27:48] Become a friend of DeSoto by subscribing to The Greatest Generation on MaximumFun.org

[27:52] today!

[27:53] Okay, now, without further ado, let's get to the second half of this list, which is

[28:00] my five favorite toys based on movies.

[28:02] Now guys, we're getting into some really special ones here that mean a lot to me, so let's

[28:05] scroll down to the next one, number five.

[28:08] So let's go to number five, again, don't skip ahead.

[28:10] And you're gonna see, I think, one of the classic tie-in figures.

[28:15] Dan, tell me what you see.

[28:18] First, Bob the Goon from Batman, the movie, that's the Tim Burton's original Batman from,

[28:27] what is it, 89, I think?

[28:29] 1989.

[28:30] I forget the name of the actor, he was in a lot of Jonathan Demme movies, if that makes

[28:39] sense.

[28:40] Yeah, classic character actor, Bob the Goon.

[28:44] He's got a uzi, he's got a knife, he's got a hat, and apparently, according to this,

[28:52] this like wham, you know, balloon here, he's got a button-activated power kick.

[28:59] I want to see that shit in action.

[29:01] Or as it says, coup de pied, mécanique, action par un bouton.

[29:07] Yeah, so this might be a Canadian package, it lists everything in English and French.

[29:11] This is Bob the Joker's Goon as portrayed in the movie by Tracy Walter, and yeah, this

[29:16] was one of your first movie-based bad guys in toy form that I remember as a kid, and

[29:23] I have to admit, the character of Bob the Goon didn't make a huge impression on me in

[29:26] the film, but seeing the toy, I was like, oh, I guess he must be a major character.

[29:31] What's so striking to me about this toy is that the figure doesn't look like the actor

[29:37] and doesn't even look like the picture of the actor on the packaging.

[29:40] Well, the picture on the packaging also doesn't look like the actor.

[29:44] It doesn't look like the actor, that's true.

[29:45] I would say the picture on the packaging looks a little bit more like the actor, and the

[29:48] figure looks more like if Willie Nelson had played Bob the Joker's Goon.

[29:52] Sure, and the picture on the packaging looks more like Billy Jack.

[29:56] Yes, he looks just like Billy Jack.

[29:58] If Billy Jack went bad.

[29:59] Well, there was a thing, they had all these

[30:00] jack figure sitting around.

[30:02] Now, I gotta say, you said that he's a bad guy, and you know what?

[30:06] You can tell he's a bad guy, because this is for ages 5 and up.

[30:09] Yeah, this is not for kids.

[30:11] Only 5 and up, you can have Bob the Goon.

[30:14] And, of course, his accessories are, I think as Dan mentioned, a gun, a knife, and his hat.

[30:18] So that his hat can come off when you need it to.

[30:20] And go, whoo!

[30:22] Yeah, yeah, when he sees Batman's secret identity and his fucking hat flips off his head.

[30:27] And you gotta give them credit over at, I forget which company this is.

[30:31] You gotta give them credit that with Star Wars, they'll make up a whole name and a backstory for every figure.

[30:37] Even if it's not in any way connected to what happens in the movie.

[30:40] But with Bob, no, not even a last name.

[30:43] He is Bob, he is the Joker's goon.

[30:45] That is all the information you're gonna get.

[30:47] And I hope you enjoy it.

[30:48] To be honest, he looks more like Bob from Twin Peaks than he does like Bob in the Batman movie.

[30:53] Which I would say is for ages 6 and up at least.

[30:56] At least.

[30:57] But maybe it's a hidden Batman-Twin Peaks crossover, which would have been great, Dan.

[31:02] Here's something significant I would like to say about the picture of Bob the goon.

[31:06] So he's wearing a hat.

[31:08] If you look at the head.

[31:10] That is significant, yeah.

[31:11] If you look at the head, the hat seems to cover up to where his eye is on his hat.

[31:20] As if beneath the hat, his head narrows significantly in sort of a Zippy the Pinhead, the Conehead's sort of scenario.

[31:31] I do not understand how a normal human head would have this size hat worn as it is shown here.

[31:39] I would also say that this packaging art looks a lot like Magic the Gathering and other fantasy artist Paolo Parente's work.

[31:46] Who knows?

[31:47] Who knows?

[31:48] Maybe.

[31:49] Could be.

[31:50] So that's – I mean there's a lot of good detailing on this art.

[31:53] The kind of expanding waist of the jacket that he's wearing is very lovingly detailed.

[31:59] So that's pretty nice.

[32:01] But yeah, you're right.

[32:02] That hat doesn't – it looks like a big chunk of his head has moved.

[32:05] Maybe that's why he works for the Joker because he lost part of his head and he's looking for it.

[32:09] Now I haven't seen the new Batman movie.

[32:12] Does Bob show up in that?

[32:14] Bob the Goon does not show up in the new The Batman.

[32:18] Well, they're waiting for the spinoff The Bob.

[32:20] I mean maybe it wasn't long enough.

[32:22] Do you think there's a director's cut that's like five hours long where Bob the Goon shows up?

[32:26] The funny thing is I went – like again, I don't know if we – I don't think we mentioned it in this episode.

[32:32] I think we – pull back the curtain.

[32:35] We recorded two things at once tonight, which is a rare occurrence.

[32:38] Which is probably why everyone is extra spicy and bad at their jobs.

[32:42] In the previous thing we recorded –

[32:45] Which is an episode that will come out a week after this one.

[32:47] Yes.

[32:48] I referenced having a Alamo season pass, which means that you pay a certain amount.

[32:54] You go and see – you can see one movie a day.

[32:57] Dan flexing on all our listeners here.

[32:59] Yeah, wow.

[33:00] He can see movies whenever he wants.

[33:02] Taking Squarespace money and putting it right toward the Alamo.

[33:04] My point is I will see certain things that maybe I wouldn't see otherwise.

[33:09] The other week I did a double feature of Uncharted and The Batman.

[33:17] Wow.

[33:18] Dan, you need hobbies.

[33:19] You've got to find something to do with your time.

[33:23] I think life may turn around.

[33:26] But my point is The Batman famously –

[33:31] That's what we all keep wishing for, right?

[33:33] Three hours long.

[33:34] So watching Uncharted before The Batman may have added to my impression of The Batman.

[33:41] Which was – it was an old-fashioned butt buster.

[33:45] I find butt buster in pain after watching the three hours of The Batman.

[33:50] I fantasize about the times when I would get to go do double features at the movie theater.

[33:56] I haven't done that in a long time.

[33:58] I have not done that in a very long time.

[34:00] My best one was The Witch – or no.

[34:02] It was Upgrade followed by Hereditary.

[34:05] Oh, man.

[34:06] What a fucking double feature.

[34:07] Yeah, wow.

[34:08] I was fucking wasted by the end of that shit.

[34:10] Yeah, if anything, I can't argue with that other than I would probably switch them.

[34:14] I feel like Upgrade would be a little bit more fun after The Hereditary.

[34:18] Well, why don't you go back in time and tell Stuart years ago to do it the other way, Dan?

[34:21] Although I've got to say, man, when people first see Tony Collette crawl on them walls, everyone's hooting and hollering at rules.

[34:29] Yeah.

[34:30] Now that's a fun one to see in the theater.

[34:32] Oh, what a movie.

[34:33] That has one of my favorite floating body effects, Hereditary.

[34:37] Yeah, that's great.

[34:38] Yeah.

[34:39] So anyway, that's Batman, Bob the Joker's goon.

[34:41] It's a classic toy.

[34:42] Dan recommends The Batman.

[34:44] He thinks it's great.

[34:45] It will make your butt bust.

[34:46] So let's move on to the next page.

[34:48] Bust your butt at the back.

[34:50] Now this is, again, another toy based on a movie.

[34:53] Scroll down to the next one.

[34:54] Don't scroll any further.

[34:55] Just go to number four.

[34:56] Okay.

[34:57] Ooh, I love this.

[34:58] Now this is the Bull Alien from the Aliens toy line from 1993.

[35:02] Were you guys aware that in 1993, almost 15 years after the movie Aliens came out, they released an Aliens toy line where they imagined, hey, what would happen if the alien was in different kinds of animals?

[35:15] And this is what it would be like coming out of a bull.

[35:17] So describe this bull for me, Dan.

[35:18] This is like if an alien-infected bull from TV's Night Court is what you're doing.

[35:25] No, no, not at all.

[35:26] No, you're misunderstanding.

[35:27] Richard Maul.

[35:28] I understand, but that's a misunderstanding.

[35:30] It's not actually.

[35:31] Okay.

[35:32] Which is weird because Richard Maul's blood is already acidic.

[35:36] Yeah, but that's just because he eats so much ketchup and vinegar.

[35:40] Yeah.

[35:41] Well, I would say about this, it looks like a bull, and it looks like an alien, and it is also – it looks like someone has sort of half-hazardly, half-heartedly spray painted part of this bull.

[35:57] Alien red.

[35:58] I don't think there's a lot of rhyme nor reason to which parts of this are sort of reddish, but that's what it is.

[36:06] Now describe to me again what makes it bullish?

[36:10] What makes it bullish?

[36:11] Other than the fact that it's hedging big on gold right now.

[36:17] Yeah, it feels good about the future of the market.

[36:21] The way its legs are are kind of as if it's like hoofing at the ground.

[36:27] I don't know how you say it.

[36:29] Stamping as if it's going to charge, and it's got some bull horns.

[36:34] Those would be the two big bull things.

[36:36] Now, Elliot, are these the same figure in both pictures?

[36:39] Because one's neck is way shorter than the other neck.

[36:42] So that's the thing.

[36:43] It had a head-butting power where its neck could extend.

[36:47] So this is it standing up with the neck extended and also sitting forward.

[36:50] Now we're talking about the alien that's already got a weird amount of phallic imagery.

[36:55] Yes, and now it also has an extending, veiny neck as well.

[37:00] Yes, you've understood it completely.

[37:02] That was H.R. Giger's fucking design notes to the bull alien design team.

[37:08] You're going to be happy to know that there's also a gorilla alien which had a head that you could squeeze and water would squirt out of it.

[37:14] Just continuing that imagery.

[37:17] Now the thing I like about this, the bull alien in particular, I love the horns.

[37:21] It makes it look satanic like it's a demon alien.

[37:23] But also you can kind of build your own story around it like, hey, what if Ripley, she's had a hard time with all these aliens.

[37:30] She just wants to take a load off.

[37:32] She goes to the Calgary Stampede, the famous show in Calgary, and she just wants to take in some bulls at this rodeo show.

[37:38] But then, uh-oh, there's an alien inside one of the bulls.

[37:42] And it gets out, maybe uses its horns to tear through someone's belly – a bull's belly, I guess.

[37:47] And it's just wreaking havoc, and now she's got to get on a cow or a horse and rope that bull.

[37:53] And there's endless hours of imaginative play that way.

[37:56] You make up your own story.

[37:58] I mean, for me, it's – I don't know about you guys, but I was just tired of Ferdinand just sitting under that fucking tree just dicking around.

[38:05] I think he should get a xenomorph on the face and squirt out a little bull alien.

[38:11] Yeah, and they take that bull alien to the bullfighting ring, and all the lovely ladies have flowers in their hair.

[38:17] And he sniffs the flowers and just tears the head off of the Toreador.

[38:21] Yeah, this is how it happens.

[38:22] So that's the Aliens Bull Alien.

[38:24] Again, I don't have the packaging, so I don't know what ages this was recommended for, but this was 1993.

[38:29] I'm going to assume three and up.

[38:31] I'm going to say 80 to 85.

[38:34] Yeah, this is – so it's still the era before toys were like a grown-up collectible explicitly.

[38:40] So let's move on to number two – no, sorry, to number three.

[38:43] Let's move on to the next one, number three.

[38:44] This is the toy I wanted the most when I was a kid.

[38:46] Oh, look at this.

[38:48] So this is the City set from the commercials for the real Ghostbusters toys.

[38:53] This was not a toy available in stores.

[38:55] This was the set that the professional commercial directors and set designers made to show off the Ghostbusters toys.

[39:03] This was not a toy you could buy.

[39:04] There's a little bit of a tease on your part, Elliot.

[39:06] Well, this was a tease on the part of the advertisers, Dan, because this is what I always wanted to use with my Ghostbusters toys, and yet I could not because it didn't exist.

[39:13] It was not buyable, and I would just watch these commercials, and I'd be like, sell us the buildings.

[39:18] I want the city buildings.

[39:20] That's what I wanted.

[39:21] Yeah, you wish that you had some kind of – you were some kind of oligarch and could just buy whatever you wanted.

[39:28] I could just call up the commercial and say, bring that to me, and they'd have to do it.

[39:33] Now, these are impressive little sets.

[39:35] They look like the old HBO feature presentation city or whatever.

[39:40] One of my favorite pieces of filmed anything is that old HBO promo.

[39:46] It's a city at night.

[39:48] The camera swoops through it.

[39:49] You hear the buses honking.

[39:51] It goes over the suburbs.

[39:52] Then it goes over the mountains.

[39:53] It goes into the sky.

[39:54] What's this coming out of the sky, coming to us out of the universe, this cosmic visitation?

[39:59] It's the HBO logo.

[40:00] So we go towards it, we go into the O of the HBO logo

[40:03] and unfathomable, unfathomable universal energy,

[40:06] prisms of pure tranquility and understanding

[40:10] and galactic harmony are flying through this O

[40:13] and what does it bring us?

[40:14] Your feature presentation.

[40:15] Oh, I just love it.

[40:16] Just imagine the music, makes my neck tingle.

[40:18] So Dan, you're saying?

[40:19] No, it's the adventures of Ford Fairlane.

[40:22] It's like this thing, this camera takes you up.

[40:26] Adventures of Pluto Nash.

[40:28] It takes you up out of the mundane world of every now

[40:32] and up into the sky, into a magical place

[40:34] where the toy is constantly playing,

[40:36] starring Richard Bryan, yeah.

[40:39] Here's Beastmaster.

[40:40] Miami Blues is playing.

[40:42] And now that we've lifted you,

[40:44] now that you've ascended to the heavens

[40:45] like unto the rapture,

[40:46] here's Dream On, starring Brian Ben-Ben.

[40:50] Still not on HBO Max.

[40:53] Enjoy Hot to Trot.

[40:55] Now I, I will enjoy that shit.

[41:00] Yeah, I will.

[41:01] I'm a kid, I don't know it's bad.

[41:03] It's got two things I love,

[41:05] a talking animal and fucking Bobcat.

[41:07] And people who are hot to trot.

[41:10] Now do you think the producers of that movie,

[41:12] that there was an old man who was like,

[41:13] we want to do a talking movie about a talking horse

[41:17] with Bobcat Goldthwait.

[41:18] A talking horse and a talking Bobcat?

[41:20] Yeah, make the movie.

[41:21] And then he saw it and he was like,

[41:22] wait, the Bobcat's a guy?

[41:25] Get this, it's called Hot to Trot.

[41:27] Get it?

[41:28] Because of a horse.

[41:29] No, I was going to say like,

[41:31] this is a, this is a lovely.

[41:32] The hot part, of course, is Bobcat in this case.

[41:36] I don't know.

[41:36] Horses are an inherently sexy animal.

[41:38] It's those haunches.

[41:39] So Bobcat's the one that trots?

[41:41] I don't fucking think so, Elliot.

[41:44] I would say that these, like,

[41:49] look, I would watch these commercials too, Elliot.

[41:51] And I would be like, man,

[41:52] if I only could have these cool sets

[41:55] that they're playing in, like, that would be so cool.

[41:59] But it doesn't, it didn't even need to,

[42:02] what I'm trying to get to is,

[42:03] it didn't even need to be like these nice city sets.

[42:06] Like, I would watch these G.I. Joe commercials, whatever,

[42:09] or they'd be like,

[42:10] they'd like have like rocks arranged like artistically,

[42:14] and maybe there'd be like some water,

[42:16] there'd be like a pool of water,

[42:18] and I'd be like, awesome.

[42:20] Yeah, there's always like a little river

[42:21] and like a fort made out of sticks and things

[42:23] that they blow apart with missiles.

[42:25] And I didn't know how to make that stuff as a kid.

[42:27] But I felt like this was the,

[42:28] what was weird about that was,

[42:29] so the way my child mind worked

[42:31] was those G.I. Joe commercials,

[42:32] I was like, some kid made that,

[42:34] and they're better at it than me.

[42:35] These Ghostbusters ads, I'd be like,

[42:37] well, no kid made this, they bought it.

[42:39] Somebody bought this for them, and I want it.

[42:41] Because if you can buy it,

[42:42] I can have it as long as I've got the green.

[42:44] And that's how I got into the vice industry,

[42:47] just to feed my Ghostbusters realistic building habit.

[42:50] First you get the money, then you get the power,

[42:52] then you get the Ghostbusters sets.

[42:56] Yeah, child, oh, just memories.

[42:58] So let's move on, so that's number three.

[43:00] We've got two more left.

[43:01] Let's go through.

[43:02] The second one, this is my second favorite movie toy.

[43:04] Oh, this is a classic one.

[43:06] This is a classic one.

[43:07] Stuart, what is it?

[43:08] Tell me what it is, Stu.

[43:09] It's Rocky the Meat.

[43:13] So this is a toy, unlike some of the other ones on here,

[43:15] I actually own this.

[43:17] I still have it in my garage.

[43:19] It was given to me as a gift by, I believe,

[43:21] our former coworker, Daniel Radosh.

[43:22] No, it was given by me!

[43:25] What the fuck?

[43:25] I know, I know.

[43:26] I know, I know.

[43:28] Oh, God, you got me.

[43:29] I wanted you to get mad.

[43:30] I wanted you to get mad.

[43:31] I was like, you got the Dan's wrong.

[43:34] Dan gave me this, and it is from the Rocky line,

[43:37] where they were like, you know what?

[43:39] We're just gonna make one of the meat that he punches,

[43:41] that he practices on, and it is a package.

[43:43] It's just a side of beef,

[43:45] and then a bloody butcher's apron

[43:47] that you could put on the Rocky figure.

[43:49] My favorite thing about it is it just says,

[43:51] it doesn't say side of beef or punching exercise.

[43:54] It just says the meat in big letters.

[43:56] Yeah, because they're like, what does Arby's have?

[43:59] It's got this.

[44:00] Rocky's the meat.

[44:03] That's the moral.

[44:05] There's also a date on here.

[44:09] November 21st, 1976.

[44:12] So all the Rocky figures, they had dated on it

[44:14] which movie they were from, basically.

[44:16] They would say which Rocky movie they were from

[44:19] and what year that movie was from.

[44:21] So that just shows you, this is the original Rocky.

[44:24] The famous meat.

[44:25] Oh, I like that.

[44:26] Yeah, this specifically is listed 21st of November, 1976,

[44:30] the meat versus Rocky Balboa.

[44:33] In the case, the meat gets top billing.

[44:35] Well, and you know why,

[44:36] because the meat won on points, technically.

[44:38] Rocky got the TKO, but the meat won on points in the end.

[44:42] The judges were in the meat's pocket.

[44:43] The rumble in the meat locker.

[44:46] What I like about this, too,

[44:47] is it is a Star Wars level of making an action figure

[44:50] out of anything, anything that could be made into a figure.

[44:54] But for Rocky, a series that has never been,

[44:56] I think, a particularly kid-friendly film series.

[45:01] But anyway, the meat.

[45:02] You can't ask for anything better

[45:04] than a side of beef action figure.

[45:06] Or can you?

[45:08] Let's scroll down to number one

[45:10] for my favorite toys from movie.

[45:11] Now again, this is a little bit cheap

[45:13] because these are not real toys,

[45:14] but these are, this is the My Dinner

[45:16] with Andre action figures

[45:17] from the movie Waiting for Guffman,

[45:19] which the joke in it is,

[45:22] well, they just sit there and talk, right?

[45:24] Yeah, that's what I want my action figures to do.

[45:26] I can get action figures that fight ghosts

[45:28] or superheroes or whatever,

[45:29] but two figures that understand the importance

[45:32] of good conversation and a good meal,

[45:34] that's hard to find.

[45:35] It's incredible, yeah.

[45:36] You want an action figure like Andre Gregory,

[45:39] who's gonna come in and tell you

[45:41] about some bullshit spiritual experience

[45:45] he had across the world.

[45:46] And you're like, that sounds interesting,

[45:47] but I enjoy sleeping under my electric blanket.

[45:50] I mean, yeah, that's true.

[45:51] I mean, the one that I really want

[45:52] is the Wallace Shawn figure,

[45:53] because finally an action figure who just listens,

[45:55] who's curious about what I have to say.

[45:58] Who knows the questions

[45:59] that'll get me out of my shell, you know?

[46:01] So guys, what would you do

[46:02] with your My Dinner with Andre figures

[46:04] if you were playing with them?

[46:05] What scenario would you put them in?

[46:09] Well, they would have probably dinner together

[46:12] in some form.

[46:14] So sticking pretty much to the template of the movie.

[46:16] Yeah, well.

[46:17] Well, I would say just like with my G.I. Joe figures,

[46:20] I would test the limits of the physicality

[46:23] and the flexibility of these figures.

[46:24] I'd stretch them and pull them and see.

[46:28] I would take them to the edges of pleasure and pain.

[46:32] Okay, interesting.

[46:33] Where that intersects, you know?

[46:35] Now, the thing is, I wish these were real figures,

[46:37] because I want to see them in that package

[46:38] that says ages four and up for the Wallace Shawn figure.

[46:43] And to know that some kid would get it.

[46:46] Some kid's grandma went to this toy store.

[46:48] It was the day before Christmas.

[46:50] The shells were cleared out,

[46:51] except for this one Wallace Shawn figure.

[46:53] And it gets brought to this kid,

[46:55] and it's the most magical Christmas.

[46:56] And they strap Wallace Shawn to a model rocket

[47:00] and shoot it up into the sky.

[47:01] And Wallace Shawn finally achieves his dream

[47:03] of going into outer space.

[47:05] Did you guys know that was his dream?

[47:06] I didn't, I just learned now.

[47:07] I just assume it is.

[47:08] He's never said it,

[47:09] but I get a real wants to go into space vibe from him.

[47:12] I figure he just wants to, you know,

[47:15] produce the best production of Chekhov

[47:18] that has ever happened.

[47:19] Fair.

[47:20] In space.

[47:21] In space, yeah.

[47:22] It's easier to do Chekhov without gravity.

[47:25] Jason X plus the cherry orchard.

[47:30] Starring Wallace Shawn.

[47:32] As Jason?

[47:35] I don't know, man.

[47:36] I'm just the money man. Jason is the star.

[47:38] Yeah, so guys, thank you for joining me

[47:41] on this little trip down my favorite

[47:43] movie-based action figures

[47:44] from the Gremlins toys of my youth

[47:46] to the Star Wars George Lucas's family toys

[47:50] of my young adulthood until today.

[47:54] My love of my dinner with Andre

[47:56] and my wish to reenact it in toy form.

[47:58] Ellie, do you think they're ever gonna make a movie

[48:02] where Jason kills a fuckload of Argonauts?

[48:05] Oh, you know that they should.

[48:07] They should make Jason. Jason Voorhees, not Jason.

[48:09] Jason Voorhees.

[48:09] I mean, Jason from Jason and the Argonauts,

[48:11] he merely...

[48:12] Yeah, he was on the same team, right?

[48:15] He's an asshole.

[48:16] He is famously an asshole.

[48:17] He's terrible with Medea.

[48:19] He seduces Medea into killing her family, you know?

[48:22] But I feel like they're leaving money on the table

[48:25] to not do Jason and the Argonauts

[48:26] and Jason Voorhees has been hurled backwards

[48:28] in time to antiquity.

[48:31] Just on the loose, just going after...

[48:33] I mean, you have to have a scene.

[48:34] I know it's conflating time periods, but nobody cares.

[48:37] You have to have a scene where Socrates is like on trial

[48:40] and then Jason chops his head off or something like,

[48:41] or like Jason stabs Julius Caesar, you know?

[48:44] Jason takes the Argonauts.

[48:47] Yep, Jason is inside the Trojan horse.

[48:50] Yeah, oh, that would be amazing.

[48:51] And they're like, oh, let's bring this horse in here.

[48:53] And he just busts out

[48:54] and he's just slashing people's heads left and right.

[48:56] Jason goes to Hades.

[48:58] Yep, and Achilleus is like, oh, I can beat this dude.

[49:01] And then Jason stabs him in the ankle with a machete

[49:04] and he just fucking dies.

[49:06] Yeah, this, you know what?

[49:07] Okay, that's what the mini should have been about.

[49:10] Everybody go and erase your memories of this mini.

[49:13] We're gonna do a new mini

[49:13] that's all about Jason versus the Argonauts

[49:15] and every character from ancient Greek

[49:18] and Roman myth and history.

[49:20] But guys, I'm glad we could all hang out together tonight.

[49:23] If you'd like to hear more of us talking about toys

[49:26] or just anything in particular,

[49:28] tune in tonight, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific,

[49:31] the Flophouse live show.

[49:32] We're gonna talk about Masters of the Universe.

[49:34] I will talk more about toys, specifically He-Man toys

[49:38] and other toys related to said He-Man toys.

[49:40] Some of my very true real life embarrassing memories

[49:43] will be said and it's all for only $10.

[49:46] And Danons do have some real surprises lined up

[49:48] that I don't know what they are.

[49:49] They're even surprises to me and I'm excited about it.

[49:50] So go to theflophouse.simpletics.com.

[49:53] Again, that's theflophouse.simpletics.com

[49:56] and join us, won't you, tonight

[49:57] with Masters of the Universe.

[49:59] And if you can't make it,

[50:00] night that this is released get your ticket anyway because you can still

[50:03] watch the video for one week only one week only one week only like in dream

[50:08] girls but it's a week instead of a night I get it yeah sure no it's cool yeah

[50:13] it's cool for the flop house I've been Elliot Galen I've been Dan McCoy uh it's

[50:21] me Stewart Wellington wishing you champagne wishes and toy dreams good

[50:28] night everybody night maximumfun.org comedy and culture

[50:39] artists owned audience supported

FH Mini 51 - Talkin' Toys with T'Elliott

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