Episode #364 - Bliss, with Chuck Bryant

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] Hey, Flophouse listeners, I know you're expecting to hear Dan's voice say,

[0:02] on this episode, you will hear that.

[0:05] Don't worry, it's going to be amazing.

[0:06] We're going to have a really funny joke off of it that I don't know what it is yet.

[0:08] But first, this is me, Elliot, and I want to talk to you about the Flophouse Live Masters of the Universe show,

[0:13] which is coming directly to your computer screen if you buy a ticket to it.

[0:17] That's right.

[0:18] One week after this episode comes out, Saturday, March 19th, at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific,

[0:24] we are going to talk about 1987's Masters of the Universe,

[0:28] so far the only live-action He-Man movie ever made.

[0:31] Probably it will continue to be that way, but we'll see.

[0:33] There's going to be a lot of exciting things in the show.

[0:35] Original PowerPoint presentations we've never done before.

[0:38] I'm going to tell you some embarrassing stories of my childhood in my presentation that are He-Man related.

[0:43] And then we're going to talk about He-Man.

[0:44] We're going to take Q&A from the audience.

[0:46] If you've seen our live shows before, you know they are really fun.

[0:48] If you haven't seen them before, this will be a good one to see.

[0:51] The show is only going to be available for one week.

[0:55] If you missed the show, you can still watch the recording

[0:56] for one week afterwards if you have a ticket.

[1:00] But we hope you can see it live.

[1:01] If you can't, please buy it anyway so you can access the recording.

[1:04] That's March 19th, Saturday, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[1:07] Tickets will be on sale up to the very moment of the show.

[1:11] So please buy yours now, but consider buying it, you know, later if you decide to,

[1:16] but I'd rather you buy it now.

[1:17] And now, without further ado, let me tell you where to get those tickets.

[1:20] It's theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[1:23] Theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[1:25] That's where you get your tickets for the Flophouse Live Masters of the Universe show.

[1:28] $10 a ticket is a pretty good deal.

[1:30] You're going to get a lot of entertainment per your dollar.

[1:32] And now, on to the show.

[1:34] Dan, what are we watching on this episode?

Stuart Wellington

[1:37] On this episode, we discuss Bliss, the movie that dares to keep kids off drugs.

[1:43] Hey, everyone.

Dan McCoy

[2:13] Welcome to the Flophouse.

[2:15] I'm Dan McCoy.

[2:16] Hey!

[2:16] It's me, Stuart Wellington.

[2:18] Oh, wow.

[2:19] Hey!

[2:20] I like Hilton over here.

Stuart Wellington

[2:23] And joining us for this very special episode, we have a star of podcasts.

[2:29] We are joined by Chuck Bryant, host of Stuff You Should Know, formerly of Movie Crush,

[2:34] a podcast that all three of us were on that was about movies.

[2:38] Hey, Chuck, thanks for joining us.

S4

[2:39] Yes, but I fired myself, so I don't do that show anymore.

Stuart Wellington

[2:43] Oh, I'm so sorry that you fired yourself.

[2:44] Were you at least nice about it?

S4

[2:46] I don't even know who's doing the show now, to be honest.

[2:49] No, the show retired, but after the flop special, the trifecta, the trio, it was hard to continue,

[2:55] to be honest.

[2:56] Yeah, we tend to ruin things.

Elliott Kalan

[2:58] Yeah.

[2:59] Yeah, the dissolve we ruin, too.

[3:01] We tend to kill a lot of things.

Dan McCoy

[3:03] I told you guys right about, like, it was literally the day that the dissolve went under.

[3:08] Dissolved.

[3:10] Like, Keith had reached out about, like, doing more stuff with us after we did that week on

[3:15] Taking of Pelham 123.

[3:17] And I was like, oh, I should get back in touch with him.

[3:19] And I said, hey, you know, do you want to do something else?

[3:23] And he's like, uh, maybe you should look at the front page of the website today.

[3:28] And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry.

[3:30] Yeah.

[3:30] What a great site that was.

[3:32] Anyway, Chuck.

[3:33] Chuck is, yes, podcast royalty.

[3:35] I was looking up chart rankings to make my, to confirm what I knew already.

[3:41] Because Dan is a petty person.

[3:43] We are, we are, no, no, no, no, no.

[3:45] It's impressive.

[3:46] We are in and out of the top 100 comedy podcasts.

[3:52] More often we hang out in the top 200.

[3:54] Hell yeah.

[3:55] But Chuck.

[3:56] Two is bigger than one.

[3:58] When I saw him.

[3:59] It means it's better.

[4:00] He was, uh, the stuff you should know was in the, within the top 30.

[4:06] I can't remember exactly of podcasts overall.

[4:09] That is all podcasts.

[4:10] And that, that is an amazing number considering as people like to joke, everyone has one now.

[4:17] So congratulations and thank you for wasting our time, wasting your time on our show.

Elliott Kalan

[4:23] That was our regular segment, Dan McCoy, awkward pod ranker.

[4:27] Where he delivers, he delivers a compliment.

[4:29] In a way that feels like he's, he's angry at somebody.

[4:32] Yeah.

[4:32] I'm not angry at anybody.

[4:33] Dan tries to beat dick our guest over here.

Dan McCoy

[4:35] I was trying to build up just how impressive that is.

[4:39] Like you were in the top 30, but you know, that's cool.

Elliott Kalan

[4:41] That's cool.

[4:41] We were in the top 200 too.

[4:42] So it's, you know, it's not like, uh, not like it's a special.

Dan McCoy

[4:45] I'm trying to give a sense of relative importance to the podcast universe.

[4:50] Whereas we are, we are solidly in the like, yeah, yeah.

[4:54] Uh, people who know us like us, right?

[4:57] Zone.

[4:58] Whereas, uh, Chuck's in the zone of like, may have actually heard of this podcast.

[5:03] Oh yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[5:03] Well, Chuck's like a, like a network broadcast show and we're like, you know, it's one of

[5:08] the higher up cable channels, you know?

[5:10] Yeah.

[5:11] It's not, it's not speed vision, but it's not the discovery channel.

[5:14] You know, it's somewhere in between.

S4

[5:16] Yeah.

[5:16] It's somewhere in there.

[5:16] Uh, well, this is it.

[5:17] Thank you so much for joining us.

[5:19] Yeah, man.

[5:19] This is a dream come true.

[5:20] Cause you know, I am a, uh, a flopper big time flopper for many years now.

[5:25] It's one of my favorite shows.

[5:26] Awesome.

[5:26] Thank you.

[5:27] It's my, it's my happy go-to place, uh, when I'm feeling blue.

[5:31] So.

Elliott Kalan

[5:31] Would you say that it's where you find your bliss?

[5:34] Oh God.

Stuart Wellington

[5:36] Oh, I got really nervous.

[5:37] I was about to start singing blue.

[5:39] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[5:41] I know what it's like to feel blue.

[5:43] Thank you, Stuart.

S4

[5:45] Dan was angry at me for this movie pick.

[5:48] Uh, he just texted me yesterday.

[5:49] You son of a bitch.

[5:51] And then I said, I haven't watched yet.

[5:52] I'm watching tonight.

[5:53] And he just said, steal yourself.

Elliott Kalan

[5:56] Dan is not going to like my feelings about this movie.

[5:58] I'll just tell you that right off the bat.

Dan McCoy

[6:00] But we'll get into it.

[6:02] Yeah.

[6:02] A little bit.

[6:03] I will be the dissenter, I think, of this one.

Elliott Kalan

[6:05] Man, should we fire up the engine on this thing?

[6:07] Let's do it.

[6:08] Yeah.

[6:08] Let's, let's say what we do on this podcast, shall we?

Dan McCoy

[6:10] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[6:13] In this case, we watched, uh, the movie, the movie Bliss, which, uh, stars Owen Wilson

[6:20] and Selma Hayek and a bunch of, bunch of hats, a parade of hats.

[6:24] They don't wear that many hats.

Stuart Wellington

[6:26] They wear more hats than you would expect.

Elliott Kalan

[6:29] I would say.

[6:29] That's a good point.

[6:30] If your hat expectation was zero to three, then you will be surprised.

Stuart Wellington

[6:34] And if, uh, if you're trying to watch the movie in advance of this episode, remember it's

[6:38] Bliss 2021, not the other movies named Bliss.

[6:42] I know there was like a horror movie on Shudder that I think I recommended.

[6:45] And there's probably a bunch of other movies called Bliss.

[6:47] It's, you know, a one word title.

Elliott Kalan

[6:49] Uh, Stuart, are you going to be, uh, handling the summary for this one?

[6:52] Oh, you know it, Elliot.

[6:53] Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[6:54] Uh, was that, did I come on too strong there?

[6:58] Was that cool?

[6:58] No, no.

[6:58] Well, I mean, it was in response to a direct question.

[6:59] No, that was exactly the level of energy I was hoping for.

[7:01] Yeah, yeah.

[7:01] That's great.

[7:02] Right down the middle.

[7:03] Uh, okay.

[7:03] So this movie Bliss, uh, stars Owen Wilson as a character named Greg Whittle, which as

[7:10] you know, is means little in baby talk.

[7:13] Yep.

[7:14] And there's a little kind of Whittle about him.

[7:16] Yeah.

[7:17] He's sitting at his office desk at his job, which is at a business called technical difficulties.

[7:22] And he is drawing, uh, he's drawing these like black and white pencil sketches of a beautiful,

[7:28] well-appointed Mediterranean villa that looks a lot like the Sapienza level from Hitman.

[7:33] So I think that helps Dan and Elliot picture.

[7:36] Sure.

[7:36] Exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[7:37] I mean, we saw the movie, so we don't really need to picture it for the audience at home.

[7:40] If they know the Hitman games, that'll certainly be helpful.

Stuart Wellington

[7:42] Yeah.

[7:43] So he's a bit of a dreamer.

[7:44] Uh, he's got some trouble in his marriage.

[7:46] Uh, his daughter is.

[7:48] I mean, his marriage is over.

[7:49] Is that he's divorced?

[7:50] The ultimate trouble.

[7:51] Technically, I'm right.

[7:52] The worst trouble.

[7:52] Doesn't get more trouble than that.

[7:54] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:55] A pool hall hasn't been built in his marriage.

[7:58] That's not the trouble we're talking about.

[7:59] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[8:00] I mean, I think at this point.

[8:02] That starts with D.

[8:02] That rhymes with T.

[8:03] That stands for trouble.

Stuart Wellington

[8:05] I feel like at the point of divorce, usually most of the trouble's over.

[8:09] Yeah.

[8:09] Maybe so.

[8:10] Maybe the problems are all done.

[8:12] Yeah, exactly.

[8:12] So his marriage is doing great is what you're saying.

[8:15] He's a happy marriage.

[8:16] Yeah.

[8:17] That's the way the cycle of entropy works.

[8:20] Uh, okay.

[8:21] So, you know, he's a bit of a dreamer.

[8:23] Um, his daughter is graduating.

[8:25] And so she calls him and is urging him to get his shit together so she can come to her

[8:29] graduation.

[8:30] Um, his job, the office seems to be in chaos and there's a lot of like ringing phones and

[8:35] shouting while he sits in this office, procrastinating and drawing and not taking pills that he

[8:41] has a prescription for.

[8:43] And it's there.

[8:44] I think the movie is trying to convey something that is, uh, is fairly simple, but they draw it

[8:50] out and make it very annoying.

[8:51] How do you guys feel?

Dan McCoy

[8:52] Well, I, I was very confused, but like I, this movie stressed me out right from the start

[8:58] where Owen Wilson is, he is told that the boss wants to see him and then he dithers around

[9:05] for like eight minutes.

[9:06] He dithers around.

[9:07] Doing other stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[9:08] He decides that's when it's time to call the pharmacy to re-up his prescription.

[9:11] And that call goes for a long time.

[9:14] And it was, it was, I think they're trying to get across, yeah, this guy does not have

[9:18] his act together and he lives in a world of stress.

[9:20] Uh, but they, they've, it's the way they've done it is at the, at the time I was like,

[9:25] what, what are we doing here?

[9:27] Like, come on everybody.

[9:28] And then once the movie settled in on me, I was able to look back at it and go like,

[9:31] you know what?

[9:32] That was kind of a funny way to get it across that he is, he is deliberately avoiding seeing

[9:36] his boss, even as the second, the receptionist keeps angrily calling him.

[9:40] And he's like, yeah, yeah.

[9:40] What other tasks can I get into right now?

Dan McCoy

[9:44] I just know that like, even, you know, even at a job that I am not worried about getting

[9:50] fired from, which spoiler alert is what's about to happen.

[9:53] If the boss calls me, I, I jump out of my chair and for fear of being, uh, being fired

[10:01] for angering the gods.

[10:03] Uh, but yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[10:04] It becomes a little bit clearer when there's a, uh, within the next couple minutes, you'll

[10:08] realize that this movie is a bonkers universe movie and is not, not a naturalistic

[10:14] movie.

[10:14] And so then this all makes more sense.

[10:16] But at the, but at the time you're like, dude, what's going on?

[10:18] Like, what are you doing?

S4

[10:19] Did you guys see, uh, something that really annoyed me about this movie all throughout

[10:24] was it was humans kept doing things that like humans don't even do.

[10:29] Like, did you see how he, did you see how he checked it to see how many pills he had?

[10:34] Like, first of all, if you're on medication, you'd like, you'd know probably when your

[10:37] cycle is and when you're, when you should re-up.

[10:40] Yeah.

[10:40] He looked at it.

[10:41] He stared at the pill bottle.

[10:42] He shook it.

[10:43] And then he held it up to the light.

[10:46] And I was just like, the script probably said he realizes he's low on bills.

[10:50] And he's like, how would I do that?

[10:52] And it was, it annoyed me immediately.

Stuart Wellington

[10:55] That's how I check like the liquor level when I'm doing inventory on like a dark liquor

[10:59] bottles.

[11:00] I have to hold it up to the light and just guesstimate it.

Elliott Kalan

[11:02] My guess is that in the script it said like he opens the bottle and pours, you know, three

[11:06] pills into his hand.

[11:06] And then on set, Owen Wilson just could not get that.

[11:08] He's like, I can't get these new caps open.

[11:11] Like I just, the bottle won't open.

[11:13] I don't know.

[11:13] And like, and that takes, take 79.

[11:16] The director was like, just hold them up to the light.

[11:18] Just shake it.

[11:19] All the light.

[11:19] He's like, what if I do that?

[11:20] What if I just shake it and hold it?

[11:21] Like, that's what I'm telling you to do.

[11:22] I can't get this cap.

[11:24] I just can't.

[11:24] Wow.

[11:25] It's like, wow.

[11:25] This cap is so hard to open.

[11:27] Yeah.

[11:27] Wow.

[11:28] And then the prop guy went, oh, I got the Owen Wilson proof caps.

[11:31] I forgot I got, I forgot I got the Owen Wilson proof cap.

[11:35] Yeah.

[11:35] Oh boy.

Stuart Wellington

[11:36] So he, so he leaves to go to see his boss.

[11:39] And as he walks out of his office, he has left his wallet behind, which all of a sudden

[11:43] like fuzzes out.

[11:44] Like it's some kind of digital artifact.

[11:46] I'm like, what is going on?

[11:48] We're in the matrix, baby.

[11:50] Back to serenity.

Elliott Kalan

[11:52] Oh, I was, I was like a ghost is stealing your wallet.

[11:54] Oh, okay.

[11:55] He didn't.

Stuart Wellington

[11:56] Yeah.

[11:56] Samara is grabbing it.

[11:57] Um, so he goes to meet his boss.

[11:59] Uh, his boss fires him for having low productivity and then he stands up too fast and his boss

[12:03] flies backwards, cracking his head open on his desk and dies.

[12:07] Owen Wilson then props the body.

Elliott Kalan

[12:08] That was the moment where I said, okay, now I think I understand what the wavelength

[12:11] this movie is on.

[12:12] Oh yeah.

[12:13] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[12:14] Well, I got, but I gotta say.

[12:16] It happens so quickly too.

[12:18] As probably the dissenter here, like this is the part that gave me hope.

[12:22] This was like the part where I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm in for it.

[12:24] Yeah.

[12:25] Elliot and Stu weren't lying on their, on their, on their texts.

[12:28] This will be great because he also stands up so unnaturally.

[12:32] Like, like they are less than an inch away from each other and he pops up like a jack in

[12:38] the box and, uh, the man immediately dies.

Stuart Wellington

[12:42] He kills the man and then he picks his boss up and he props him up against the window with

[12:45] an ingenious little bit of prop work where he threads the, his boss's shirt sleeves through

[12:52] the latches on the window.

[12:54] So it looks like his arms are up, like he's doing a, like a field goal.

[12:57] Wow.

[12:57] Yeah.

[12:58] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[12:58] So it's just in the natural pose of a man pressing his entire face in front and palms against

[13:03] a window and then draws the curtains across.

[13:06] It was really, really something else.

Stuart Wellington

[13:08] Perfect crime.

[13:09] Yeah.

[13:10] So, uh, he, he quickly exits the, the, the building.

[13:14] He leaves, uh, he goes to his regular dive bar across the street.

[13:18] He orders a double whiskey neat and he meets, uh, Isabel Clemens, who is played by Salma

[13:24] Hayek, who is a weird, uh, wait, Hayek, Hayek?

[13:30] Hayek?

[13:31] I usually, I've heard it.

[13:32] What the fuck's wrong with you, Elliot?

[13:34] I've heard it, Hayek, but Hayek you could try.

Elliott Kalan

[13:35] Maybe that's, that sounds, that sounds more.

[13:37] Are you coming for me, Elliot?

[13:39] That's, that's all I know.

[13:40] What's up, Elliot?

[13:41] Look, I'm trying to loosen up on Dan.

[13:42] What is up, Elliot?

[13:44] If I, if I, if I ease up on Dan, it means I've got a hard up on used to, so.

Stuart Wellington

[13:49] Okay, so, uh, Salma Hayek is playing, uh, like an eccentric, artistic, unhoused lady

[13:57] who, uh, can manipulate objects and sees the world as either real or fake.

[14:03] She manipulates objects with her mind.

Elliott Kalan

[14:05] We, I mean, not.

[14:05] With her mind, yeah.

[14:06] Yeah, she doesn't just reach out and pick them up and smush them.

[14:09] A sculptor.

[14:09] Yeah, she's not, she's not just one of those people who like.

[14:12] I mean, she could do that.

[14:12] She could be a sculptor.

[14:13] I mean, she could do that, but it's not like she's just reaching out and fiddling with

[14:15] ashtrays and things like that and pouring all the salt out of salt shakers, you know?

Dan McCoy

[14:19] It's true.

[14:19] I do manipulate objects, uh, daily.

[14:22] Just as a normal person.

Elliott Kalan

[14:23] At least once a day, I try to manipulate an object of some kind just to make sure my hands

[14:27] still work, you know?

Dan McCoy

[14:28] Yeah, sometimes people say I'm manipulating too much, but, uh, I say that's private.

[14:32] Well, that particular object you are manipulating too much.

[14:34] The hair on your palms could indicate that.

Elliott Kalan

[14:35] Yeah, how are, your eyesight fading is, is, yeah, you're manipulating that one object

[14:39] a little too much.

[14:40] Worth it.

[14:41] Uh.

[14:42] You're like, but I look at the things that I'm, that I'm using to help me manipulate it.

[14:47] Wait a minute.

[14:47] Uh-huh.

[14:48] My imagination, of course.

[14:50] Uh-huh, yeah.

[14:51] I found a loophole, God.

Stuart Wellington

[14:55] So, uh, from her window booth seat, she has, uh, discovered that, uh, Owen Wilson has killed

[15:02] his boss and, uh, hidden the body because, of course, he propped him against a window.

[15:07] And what can you do through windows, Elliot?

[15:08] One of the best shots in the movie, actually.

Elliott Kalan

[15:10] See things.

[15:11] You can see them.

[15:11] Yeah, that they look across the street and just see his boss's dead body pressed against

[15:15] the window.

[15:16] He's like, right, right.

[15:18] That's one of those new two-sided windows.

[15:20] Right.

[15:20] Where you can look through both sides.

Stuart Wellington

[15:22] Okay.

[15:23] So she, she's like, okay, I will, I will help you get out of this jam, but you need to go

[15:28] to the bathroom and get a necklace that's filled with orange crystal drugs from my boyfriend.

[15:35] Oh, my God.

[15:35] And he's like, oh, wow.

[15:36] Okay.

[15:37] And he goes and does it.

[15:38] And luckily, the boyfriend is passed out.

Dan McCoy

[15:40] Yeah.

[15:40] She sets it up like it's going to be a big challenge.

[15:42] And he's just passed out.

[15:44] Boyfriend played by a past guest of the show, Ronnie Chang.

[15:48] Also a friend, a nice man.

[15:51] I'm sorry that we're doing this movie, Ronnie.

[15:52] Was that Ronnie Chang who was playing the boyfriend?

Elliott Kalan

[15:54] Ronnie Chang played Kendo.

[15:55] Was he also the boyfriend?

[15:57] No, that's the same guy.

[15:59] Was that the same guy?

[15:59] I don't remember seeing his face when he's passed out.

[16:01] Was it Ronnie?

[16:02] I am pretty sure it's the same.

[16:04] Okay.

[16:04] Nonetheless.

[16:05] I mean, it doesn't really matter.

[16:06] It could conceivably be Kendo.

[16:07] Because I remember saying to myself, oh, there's Ronnie.

[16:10] Considering Kendo is the character they get these crystals from throughout the movie,

[16:14] it could be.

[16:15] That makes perfect sense.

[16:16] I will admit, when his name came up in the credits, I was like, Ronnie is doing so much

[16:20] work.

[16:21] He's in every movie that I've seen.

[16:22] No, he's doing great.

[16:23] He's doing great.

[16:23] Yeah.

[16:24] We should have him on the show again.

[16:25] He's too big for us.

[16:26] I mean, he's not Chuck Reins.

[16:28] But, you know.

[16:29] I realized we had a guest today.

[16:31] And I shouldn't talk about other people who are more famous than the guest.

Stuart Wellington

[16:35] He returns the necklace to Salma Hayek, or Isabel, I guess, who then takes

[16:40] out one of the...

[16:41] Yeah, or Hayek.

[16:43] Both of them.

[16:43] Whatever.

[16:44] It doesn't matter.

[16:44] Here's how I try to remember it.

Elliott Kalan

[16:45] It's like I'm staying at the Salma Hayek.

[16:47] And then I just, instead of ending it Hayek, I end it with an ek sound.

[16:53] Like ek versus Sever, which is the other thing that you think is.

[16:56] I'm like, I'm staying at the Hyatt to see Axe versus Sever.

[17:02] And I remember it's Axe, not X, because of Axe body spray.

[17:05] So that's the simple mnemonic I use to remember Salma Hayek.

[17:09] I like to sometimes I go, Salma and I are going on a kayak.

[17:13] And that's how I remember it, too.

Stuart Wellington

[17:15] So he returns the crystal necklace back to Isabel.

[17:18] She then berates him for not stealing the wallet as well.

[17:21] So he goes back to the bathroom.

[17:22] And while he's on his adventure, on his wallet quest, she doses his drink with a crystal.

[17:27] Uh-oh.

[17:28] She then gives him a speech and then uses her magic to make the dead body of the boss fall

[17:32] out the window and look like he committed suicide.

[17:35] Case closed.

Elliott Kalan

[17:36] And we know it's case closed because there's a surprisingly large amount of news coverage

[17:40] of this random guy jumping out of a window.

[17:43] We get ongoing coverage throughout the movie of the investigation and that they've deemed

[17:48] it suicide.

[17:49] And this would be at most like a 20-second story on the local news, maybe.

S4

[17:53] Did you hear the line that his annoying – the colleague that came to his office at the

[17:58] beginning and really aggressively started trying to see his drawings?

[18:03] Did you notice the line when the guy landed on the sidewalk?

[18:07] No.

[18:07] He ran – Owen Wilson runs across the street and this guy yelled, he just committed suicide

[18:12] in the middle of the day.

[18:17] It was inexplicable why he would point that out.

[18:20] That's a nighttime activity.

Stuart Wellington

[18:22] I know.

[18:22] Don't you know?

[18:24] Oh, man.

[18:24] Okay, so –

[18:25] During business hours.

[18:28] They make their escape before they get found out.

[18:32] And Isabel makes Greg pawn his cell phone at a pawn shop and they end up having to sell – because

[18:40] he lost his wallet, he can't go back to the hotel he's staying in and he doesn't have

[18:44] ID.

[18:45] So when they sell his cell phone, it is for only $10.

[18:49] And Greg, of course, says, wow, they really grind you down for that no ID thing, which

[18:55] is one of the many observations that Owen Wilson makes to all of Isabel's wild stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[19:02] Yeah, he is – his responses are always more along the lines of like when you're hanging

[19:06] out with your dad and he sees someone with like spiky hair and he's like, I guess somebody's

[19:11] going to the barber today.

[19:13] Like that level of like, hmm, I guess they're really grind you on that no ID thing.

Dan McCoy

[19:18] I feel like that's some of the Owen Wilson charm shining through what's basically – like

[19:24] it's a very – you know, the character is going through a lot.

[19:28] So the performance is a depressive performance, but it's like you can't hide that little bit

[19:32] of Owen Wilson that wants to comment on everything like he's Popeye or something.

Stuart Wellington

[19:37] And it provides an interesting foil to Salma Hayek?

[19:42] Hayek?

[19:43] Hey, it's –

[19:43] Am I saying it right?

Elliott Kalan

[19:44] Are you guys going to give me shit every time?

[19:45] No, I won't give you shit again.

[19:46] It's a choose-your-own-pronunciation.

[19:48] Do it however you would like.

Stuart Wellington

[19:49] And she like grabs a hold of this role with both hands and shakes it constantly.

[19:54] It is – she is all in on this thing.

[19:56] Yeah.

[19:56] Which is, you know, like kind of the complete opposite of Owen Wilson's like low-key charm.

[20:01] Not Loki, although he wasn't Loki and he was very charming.

Elliott Kalan

[20:04] Do you guys know – have you seen – so I've seen – I saw this at Target and I was

[20:08] so – I was like, well, who would buy this?

[20:10] And they have – it's a 12-inch action figure of Owen Wilson's character from Loki and he

[20:13] comes with a clipboard and I think a jet ski magazine and it's like, what would you

[20:18] do with this?

[20:19] It's just a guy in a suit.

[20:21] Like, why would you own this?

[20:22] And the idea that like a child – like a grandma will be like, I got you one of those Marvel

[20:27] toys and it's this guy.

Dan McCoy

[20:30] I think you're operating on a very outdated sense of who's buying action figures.

Stuart Wellington

[20:36] Yeah, I feel like what's the over-under on the number of butts that thing is going up?

Elliott Kalan

[20:40] Well, I can see that.

[20:41] If you're buying it as a marital aid, then sure, I can understand that.

[20:44] Oh, boy.

[20:44] You have to be the biggest Marvel completist to be like, you know who I need?

[20:48] I need Owen Wilson's businessman character.

[20:51] He's not a businessman, but you know what I mean.

[20:52] He looks like one.

[20:53] He's a detective.

[20:54] He's a time cop.

[20:55] But he's not a time cop that like wears a time cop uniform.

[20:57] He's just in a suit.

[20:58] He doesn't do any splits or anything.

[21:00] Oh, look at me, Danny.

[21:03] That's most of the test too if you're going to get on the civil service exam to get into

[21:06] the time cop academy is whether you can do splits.

[21:09] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[21:10] I saw – I forget which – I think it was Kickboxer.

[21:13] I watched Kickboxer recently, guys, and there's a part in it.

[21:18] I don't know if you've seen Kickboxer.

[21:19] I don't know if I'm telling you stuff.

[21:20] Not in many years.

[21:21] I don't know if I'm a partner where while he's getting trained, his like legs are being

[21:28] pulled apart by ropes on like winches.

[21:30] Like the guy who is training him is like – and I was like, oh, man, the origin story of

[21:37] Van Damme splits is in this movie.

[21:39] Like they have to explain like no normal human can do splits like this.

Stuart Wellington

[21:44] No.

[21:44] Yeah, you got to pop those legs out.

[21:46] So he goes back to her like her camp that she later refers to as her tarp home, which is

[21:52] pretty funny.

[21:53] It's like a series of tents that are by an overpass, and they're going there to hide from

[21:59] the law.

[22:00] He can't go back to his hotel, which is where he's been staying since his divorce.

[22:03] So he sticks around.

[22:04] They share a stir fry.

[22:06] They have a drink.

[22:07] They're watching TV, which I think they can only watch on mute, she specifies.

[22:12] He learns that he's innocent.

[22:15] She teaches him how to light candles using her magic, and he says, are you kidding me?

[22:22] Finally, I don't have to walk across the room to light candles.

Elliott Kalan

[22:25] I mean, that is a huge help.

[22:27] Like let's say you're trying to have Hanukkah from a distance.

[22:30] There's a lot of –

Dan McCoy

[22:31] Look, I'm a fan of candles, Elliot.

[22:33] I have one lit right now across the room.

[22:36] Stuart can confirm.

[22:37] To make the place smell good, but it's not a big part of my life.

Elliott Kalan

[22:41] Look, here's the scenario.

[22:43] I'm going to give you two scenarios.

[22:45] One, you're taking a bubble bath.

[22:47] You go, oh, no, I forgot to light that candle so I can really relax and get the spa experience.

[22:52] I don't have to get up.

[22:52] I'm all wet.

[22:53] Then you do it from across the room.

[22:55] Scenario number two, you're at a friend's house.

[22:57] They're having a party.

[22:59] You have to go to the bathroom.

[23:00] It's so bad all of a sudden.

[23:01] Yeah.

[23:02] And you realize, uh-oh, I can't get up to light that candle because I'm stuck to this toilet and people are going to smell it.

[23:08] Again, light that candle from across the room.

[23:11] It's an amazing tat.

[23:12] It's an amazing ability.

[23:13] And it can be yours for only $49.99 if you get the Semiac Adelite Candle from across the room app.

Dan McCoy

[23:21] Is that a one-time cost?

Elliott Kalan

[23:23] No, it's a weekly subscription.

Dan McCoy

[23:25] No, no, I don't.

[23:26] I don't think I'm going to be interested.

Stuart Wellington

[23:28] Okay, so he shows off, shows her his sick drawings of, his pencil drawings of various homes that he wants to live in.

[23:36] She seems already kind of familiar with these.

[23:39] And she asks where the dream home is.

[23:41] And he responds, right here in the brain-powered mind of Greg Whittle.

[23:46] And that line works because she then begs him to kiss her.

Elliott Kalan

[23:50] Yeah, and it's a little bit of foreshadowing about some brain power.

S4

[23:57] Can I point out one other terrible line real quick?

[24:00] Please.

[24:01] Just like this, I know this guy is supposedly like a pretty good science fiction writer, but did you notice what Salma Hayek was doing?

[24:08] Literally, when she said the words, I'm living off the grid, she plugs in the string lights.

[24:17] And I was like, I don't know if this guy knows what living off the grid means.

[24:21] But she says it literally as she's plugging in electricity for her beautiful string lights and her tarpon.

[24:26] And after they've been watching television.

[24:28] Yeah, it was pretty great.

[24:30] Anyway, just another ludicrous line.

[24:32] That's my segment, ludicrous lines.

[24:34] Ludicrous lines with CB.

Stuart Wellington

[24:38] So meanwhile, we see that Greg's daughter is kind of going around town.

[24:45] She tracks down her brother and tries to convince him to help her find their dad that she doesn't trust what her father's been telling her.

[24:55] And her brother does a pretty passable Owen Wilson impression.

[24:59] I thought that was pretty great.

[25:02] Okay.

[25:02] And then time seems to have passed because we now catch up with Greg and Isabel and they're at the roller rink.

[25:07] Oh, boy.

[25:08] Yeah, it's hot.

Elliott Kalan

[25:09] This sequence is an amazing sequence.

[25:12] Unbelievable.

[25:12] Yes, George, lay it on us.

[25:13] Lay it on us.

Stuart Wellington

[25:14] By now, Greg is like full on skater boy.

[25:17] He's got a t-shirt.

[25:18] He's got a long sleeve underneath that thing.

[25:21] And they are roller skating around.

[25:23] Are they wearing hats yet?

[25:24] No, they don't have hats on yet.

[25:25] Well, the hair is floppy now.

[25:27] The hats are at the end of the scene.

[25:28] Okay.

[25:28] Yeah.

[25:29] His hair is definitely floppy.

[25:31] Yeah.

[25:31] So they roller skate around.

[25:33] As fits the flop house.

Elliott Kalan

[25:34] Yeah.

[25:34] Thank you, Owen, for getting hair that works with the podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[25:37] Yeah.

[25:37] They take some orange crystal pills.

[25:39] They fuck in the bathroom.

[25:40] Then they use magic to terrorize the other skaters, including some old people.

[25:44] They're just tripping old.

Elliott Kalan

[25:45] Before escaping in stolen trench coats and ill-fitting fedoras.

[25:48] They're tripping skater after skater.

[25:50] And at first it's like someone who rushes past them.

[25:52] And then it's a guy who grabs a woman's butt.

[25:54] And they're like, he's a vigilante using his telekinesis to trip people.

[25:58] And then it's just everybody.

[25:59] And Isabel's like, I don't like those old people over there.

[26:01] Okay.

[26:02] They're not real.

[26:03] Go ahead and trip them.

[26:04] And he trips them.

[26:05] And then eventually it cuts to them.

[26:07] And they're standing in a roller rink where everyone else is lying on the ground prone.

[26:10] I assume killed by Owen Wilson's mind powers.

[26:14] Well, it basically became zap.

[26:16] And they scream, king of the rink.

Dan McCoy

[26:18] And they stack up the bodies.

[26:20] And jump on them.

Elliott Kalan

[26:21] And then like Benny and June are like the teens in the 1979 video or something.

[26:25] They run out laughing and steal some old people's hats and coats and just run out.

Stuart Wellington

[26:30] So they go running out.

[26:32] And the police are showing up at this moment.

[26:34] And they stand watching the cops drive away with the suspects that the police have captured.

[26:40] And all of a sudden they see that the suspects are them in the back of the police car.

[26:46] And instead of them standing on the sidewalk, it's some other people wearing trench coats and fedoras.

[26:52] So we're like, what is going on?

[26:54] Is this movie – this movie isn't like a normal movie at all.

[26:57] Yeah.

[26:58] That's one reaction.

[26:59] This movie is a little twisted.

Elliott Kalan

[27:01] Yeah.

[27:01] This movie is a little – this is – what is this?

[27:02] Did Cormac McCarthy write this?

[27:04] Because this thing is twisted.

[27:05] It's fucking twisted, dude.

Stuart Wellington

[27:08] So they've been – they're arrested and they're released.

Elliott Kalan

[27:11] They're released and almost goes, ask me if I told them my name.

[27:14] I didn't.

[27:14] And she goes, I didn't tell them your name either.

[27:16] And it's like, well, it's not like when you get arrested they go, what's your name?

[27:19] And you go, I'm not going to tell you.

[27:20] And they're like, then I guess we can't hold you.

[27:22] We don't even know who you are.

Dan McCoy

[27:24] You can go.

[27:25] You found the one loophole in the criminal justice system.

Stuart Wellington

[27:29] Yeah, I mean –

[27:29] It says right here in the book you can't arrest someone without a name.

[27:32] Okay, off you go.

[27:34] They both like look and behave as if they're tweakers, right?

[27:38] Like they're – okay.

S4

[27:39] And it's also the middle of the day still, by the way.

[27:42] This packed roller rink of adults and old people on walkers, it's still in the middle of the day.

[27:49] I guess they didn't want to shoot nights or what?

Elliott Kalan

[27:51] No, and just the idea that an old lady with a walker is entering the rink, not just the building,

[27:56] but she's about to step onto the rink where the skaters are.

[27:59] It's a moment where you're like the more you pull the threads out from it,

[28:04] the less anything makes sense on any basic level.

[28:06] My one dying wish.

Dan McCoy

[28:08] I remember when I was a young girl, I skated so beautifully.

[28:12] Surely nothing will happen to me that's bad at the roller rink today.

Elliott Kalan

[28:18] No one's ever been hurt at a roller rink.

Stuart Wellington

[28:22] So time seems to continue passing.

[28:25] His daughter is going to run down motels looking for him.

Elliott Kalan

[28:29] That's possibly just because time is an illusion that our consciousnesses have developed, Stuart.

[28:34] Let's make that clear.

S4

[28:35] That sounds like stuff you should know, Chuck.

[28:37] What do you think?

[28:38] All I know is it's constantly daytime in this world.

Stuart Wellington

[28:42] So now at this point, Greg and Isabel stop off for some artisanal chicken sandwiches.

Dan McCoy

[28:51] Artisanal is an interesting way to describe it.

Stuart Wellington

[28:53] You just stole my ludicrous line.

Elliott Kalan

[28:54] That's what he orders.

Dan McCoy

[28:55] Yeah.

[28:56] Oh, that's true.

S4

[28:58] Now what artisan carved the chicken?

[29:02] It's two artisanal sandwiches, two orders of fries, and two drinks, and it's $12.

[29:07] So I'm sure it's very high quality stuff.

[29:10] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[29:11] She goes, get me a chicken sandwich.

[29:15] And he's like, okay.

[29:15] And then he watches her run off, get into a car with a John, and then drive away.

[29:19] And it's like it takes him a while.

[29:22] It takes a mile for him to realize that his beloved that he's been with for who knows how many days,

[29:27] because again, it's always daytime, that he's just murdered a roller rink full of people for.

[29:32] Is sex working on the side.

[29:36] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:36] Either seems to be working as a full service sex worker, or possibly just tricking them and attacking them, which she does later.

[29:45] Which later happens, yeah.

[29:45] But he still tries to get those Sammies.

[29:48] And he gets them.

[29:49] And he gets them, just not the way he expects it.

[29:50] Yeah, that's right.

[29:51] The hard way.

S4

[29:52] Yeah.

[29:52] Yeah, I mean, she asked for it.

Stuart Wellington

[29:54] They're in a relationship, it seems.

[29:55] They're soulmates.

[29:56] That's specifically what they say.

[29:58] So while he's at the restaurant, his son happens to be there, and his son witnesses him behaving like kind of a tweaked out drug guy.

Elliott Kalan

[30:10] And he doesn't have the $12 on him to buy these sandwiches.

[30:13] So he goes, maybe I'll order them later.

[30:16] Yeah.

[30:16] As if the money will miraculously appear in his hands.

Stuart Wellington

[30:19] Yeah, and he goes and hides behind the chicken sandwich restaurant.

[30:23] And then the employee who he spoke to previously just gives him a bag of old chicken sandwiches.

[30:30] And which, of course, he's very excited about.

[30:32] Which are no more than two hours old, though.

[30:34] Yeah.

[30:35] Yeah, no, I mean, that's fine.

[30:36] He pointed out.

[30:37] I mean, it just kind of goes to shit.

S4

[30:38] The screenwriter felt the need to point out the company policy for how long the chicken sandwiches had to sit.

[30:44] Because the guy says, you know, at the two-hour mark when they've been sitting, we can bring them out to you.

Dan McCoy

[30:49] Yeah.

[30:50] Very important.

[30:50] Now, you have to understand, they're no longer considered artisanal at this point.

[30:53] Right.

[30:54] You still want them.

[30:55] Formerly artisanal.

Elliott Kalan

[30:56] And he just throws them away.

[30:57] He goes, I don't want them.

[30:58] No.

[30:59] Now, this is a much more positive experience than, is it Slamma Jamma?

[31:03] Is that the one where he's sitting outside the back of a grocery store eating moldy bread while crying?

[31:10] Was that the one?

[31:11] That's correct.

[31:14] This one, Owen Wilson is very appreciative.

[31:16] And Slamma Hayek comes back and he goes, they're cold, but they're good.

[31:18] And it's like, okay, maybe it is artisanal, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[31:22] Yeah.

[31:23] Just as good cold, maybe better.

[31:25] So they need to get more of the, what, the yellows, the oranges?

[31:30] The yellow crystals.

[31:31] Yeah.

[31:32] So they go to her drug dealer.

[31:35] So she has to, she meets up with him and her connection is played by Ronnie Chang playing Kendo, who is some kind of a drug scientist.

[31:45] And while, while she's doing that, Owen Wilson is outside and he gets offered a variety of slang drug terms and then shows off his butt.

[31:56] Amazing.

[31:57] Amazing.

S4

[31:57] One of my favorite parts of this movie was when the drug dealer inexplicably just pulls his pants down as he walks off.

Elliott Kalan

[32:05] It's really, it's one of those moments that you're like, I don't know if anyone on set knew what was going on at that moment.

[32:11] I thought I was being fucked with at that point.

[32:13] I was like.

[32:13] It made me wonder if that was not an actor.

[32:15] And this is just something that happened while they were shooting at night and they let it stay in the movie.

S4

[32:19] That's his signature move.

[32:20] He does that in everything he's in.

Elliott Kalan

[32:22] Well, it's one of those things where it's like, it's like, do you want any drugs?

[32:25] No, I don't want any.

[32:25] You don't want any drugs?

[32:26] You want any now?

[32:27] Well, now that I've seen your butt.

[32:29] Yes, I do want drugs.

Dan McCoy

[32:33] I missed that he was a drug dealer.

[32:34] So I assumed, and maybe this still, maybe this still applies, that it was some sort of come on for other services.

[32:42] That is possible.

[32:43] It may have been.

Stuart Wellington

[32:44] I wasn't familiar with all those, the slang terms he used.

[32:47] So I, hey, in that case, I mean, yeah, like it's, it's tough.

[32:52] If you don't know the slang.

[32:53] Okay.

[32:54] So.

Elliott Kalan

[32:54] It's like when you go to In-N-Out and you don't know the off menu, like, and you're like, I just want 12 burger patties on top of one another.

[33:01] Can you please put it on, put it on the menu so I know how to order it, please?

[33:05] Don't treat this like we're, like, don't treat this like we're spies, like with code words.

[33:09] This isn't a speakeasy, a burger speakeasy.

[33:13] There's nothing illegal about these hamburgers.

[33:15] So just advertise them.

[33:16] Just tell me, I want to give you money in exchange for 12 hamburger patties stacked on top of each other.

[33:20] So just, like, tell me how to do it.

Dan McCoy

[33:23] Mm-hmm.

[33:23] Yeah.

[33:24] You're like, is it a yertle?

[33:25] Is that what it's called?

[33:25] Just tell me.

Elliott Kalan

[33:27] It's the same way every, every airport in America seems to have different rules for whether your shoes go on or off the conveyor belt.

[33:34] Yeah.

[33:34] In the metal detector or the scanning machine, it's like, just tell me.

[33:39] Like, don't yell at me when I do it wrong.

[33:41] Like, just tell me how to do it.

[33:42] Like, I, you know, whatever.

[33:44] You guys have to take your shoes off.

Dan McCoy

[33:45] If it's a local thing to different places, like, if they have different stuff, that's fine.

[33:49] But the level of anger sometimes when you do it wrong and it's just like, man, it's different all over the place.

[33:57] Just let me take my shoes off.

[33:58] It's fine.

Stuart Wellington

[34:00] You guys don't, you guys aren't, you guys don't have known traveler numbers yet?

[34:03] You haven't applied for the, oh man.

[34:05] Sheer laziness on my part.

Elliott Kalan

[34:06] Oh man.

[34:07] I thought you had to be a gnome to do that.

[34:09] Yep.

[34:09] It's gnome travelers.

[34:10] Like gnome chomsky.

[34:12] Yeah.

[34:12] You got it for free.

[34:13] Yeah.

[34:13] Gnome chomsky is really, he's, he's such a controversial gnome.

[34:16] What more controversial than other gnomes, you know?

[34:18] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[34:19] Okay.

[34:19] So, uh, while he is waiting outside, uh, his daughter, Emily finally tracks him down.

[34:25] She tries to convince him to come with her and to get cleaned up.

[34:29] Um, and, but he wants her to wait for Isabel.

[34:32] So Emily's like, no, I'm not going to do that.

[34:35] And just leaves.

Elliott Kalan

[34:36] Well, and he goes, he goes, no, I'm going to make it to your graduation.

[34:39] And she goes, graduation was two weeks ago, dad.

[34:41] Yeah.

[34:41] And he is noticeably upset for a moment, but it's, it's own will.

[34:46] And he's never that upset about much of anything in the movie.

[34:48] He's just kind of like takes bad news a little roughly.

[34:50] And then, and then gets back to his main thing, which is hanging out with Isabel.

S4

[34:53] He also describes what graduation is earlier in the movie.

[34:57] I don't know if you remember that.

[34:58] Another ludicrous line.

[35:00] Uh, he's talking about looking forward to it.

Elliott Kalan

[35:03] Another ludicrous line.

[35:05] That's the, that's the thing for it.

S4

[35:06] He says, uh, he went, yeah, I'm going to go, I'm going to watch you walk across the

[35:10] stage and in your cap and gown and get your diploma handed to you.

[35:14] I'm like, what, who is writing this movie?

Dan McCoy

[35:17] Well, you know, that's for, that's for aliens who may be watching the movie.

[35:21] That's what it felt like.

Elliott Kalan

[35:22] There are a lot of things in the movie where they'll just throw a thing at you and they'll

[35:25] be like, you get it right.

[35:26] But then, yeah, the most basic aspect of modern life, they're like, we better explain that.

[35:31] Anyway, people need roofs to live under so that rain doesn't hit them while they're

[35:35] sleeping.

[35:36] Do it.

[35:36] We should explain that.

Dan McCoy

[35:38] I like that explanation of why we have roofs to live.

[35:41] I mean, it's one of them.

[35:43] Rain doesn't get them.

[35:44] It's a big one.

Stuart Wellington

[35:46] So Isabel returns with the, the, the crystal drugs.

[35:49] Uh, some guys in a van start to hassle them.

[35:52] So Owen Wilson takes a whole handful of pills and then crushes it with his telekinese, uh,

[35:57] telekinetic powers.

[35:58] Kind of like Akira.

[36:00] Mm-hmm.

[36:00] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[36:01] The, uh, was the guy, the guy in the van, was that the same guy that, that, that tried

[36:05] to seduce Owen Wilson with his butt and the promise of drugs?

Stuart Wellington

[36:08] That's the thing.

[36:09] It, it all blurs together, Elliot.

[36:10] I can't tell.

[36:10] I couldn't tell.

Elliott Kalan

[36:11] I wasn't sure if it was the same guy or not.

[36:12] I guess this is a real, it was Kendo the passed out boyfriend situation for me.

Stuart Wellington

[36:16] If he stuck his butt out the window instead of his face, I probably would have recognized.

Elliott Kalan

[36:20] And then started talking out of it like Ace Ventura.

Stuart Wellington

[36:23] Oh man.

[36:24] The thing is that stuff is still funny.

[36:26] Yeah.

[36:27] Still hilarious.

Elliott Kalan

[36:27] He's like, excuse me, I need you to butt out of my neighborhood.

[36:31] And he's, he's waving a gun around at his butt.

[36:34] Unless you want to buy some drugs.

[36:37] You better get out of here or you're going to be a rectum.

[36:41] Wait.

Dan McCoy

[36:44] I guess this guy needs to work on his puns a bit.

Elliott Kalan

[36:46] Can I anus you a question?

[36:49] Oh God, stop it.

[36:51] Again.

Stuart Wellington

[36:54] I do enjoy watching Stuart laugh at it.

[36:56] Yeah, like when Stuart was.

Elliott Kalan

[36:57] Stuart's fake laughter is a joy to me.

Stuart Wellington

[36:59] Yeah.

[37:00] Greg wakes up in the camp and he packs his stuff, including his drawings and goes to a community

[37:06] center to call his daughter from a pay phone.

[37:08] He leaves a message.

[37:10] When he returns, Isabella is kind of freaking out, worried that he's left her and she's concerned

[37:15] about their dwindling drug supply.

[37:17] And she's behaving like she's going through withdrawal at this point.

[37:20] Yeah.

[37:21] So she thinks he is too attached to his daughter who is not real.

[37:25] So they're going to need to take a different kind of crystal.

[37:28] They need to take a bunch of blue crystals that you put into like a metal tube that goes up

[37:32] your nose.

[37:33] And then you each have to take 10 of them.

[37:35] And that will take you out of the simulation that you're in as long as you're real and not fake

[37:39] like all the other people.

[37:41] So, but they don't have exactly 10.

[37:43] So they take a partial dose and they squirt it up their nose and wake up in the future.

[37:51] They're in a laboratory all connected through their noses to a giant thing called a brain

[37:55] box filled with brains.

[37:57] Other people including Ronnie Chang.

[37:59] Yep.

[38:00] Ronnie Chang is also connected to this.

[38:03] Isabel tells a lab tech.

[38:04] Isabel, who is Dr. Clemens at this point, tells a lab, a bunch of jargon to a lab tech

[38:10] that implies that this is one of many simulations and they are forced to eject and that there's

[38:15] a few people that are in the simulation.

[38:17] They're real.

[38:17] And everybody else is an FGP.

[38:19] That stands for fake generated person.

Dan McCoy

[38:24] Yeah.

[38:25] Now, Elliot, this is the part, this, this whole segment of the movie.

[38:29] Yes.

[38:30] Is the part that angered me the most.

Stuart Wellington

[38:32] Because the scales have fallen from your eyes and you see the world.

Elliott Kalan

[38:34] Because now you know, you're like, oh wow, I know what, I know what reality, I know what

Dan McCoy

[38:37] the higher reality is.

[38:38] I should have taken the red pill.

[38:40] The exact opposite is, in fact, the case.

[38:43] I knew by this point it is clear.

[38:47] It should be clear to anyone viewing this film.

[38:50] This is a film about these people who, you know, are down and out.

[38:54] They are engaged in a shared delusion spurred on by the circumstances in their life and

[39:00] their drug addiction.

[39:02] And now we go full into fantasy mode for a very long period of the movie.

[39:07] And I guess the part that angered me about it was just like, yeah, okay, I know that none

[39:12] of this is real.

[39:13] Why are we spending so much time in this universe?

[39:17] It is.

Elliott Kalan

[39:17] This sequence, I actually like a lot of stuff.

[39:19] I mean, I'm going to say, spoiler alert to Final Judgments, I actually like this movie

[39:22] a fair amount.

[39:23] I think it is an unsuccessful movie.

[39:24] But I like some of the things it does in trying to pull off this trick that it doesn't

[39:28] really pull off particularly well.

[39:30] But I think you're right.

[39:32] This sequence is too long.

[39:34] But I like how there are certain things in this sequence that are a person who does not

[39:40] know what they're talking about's idea of what a utopian future would be.

[39:44] So there's a part where Isabel is like, there's three things that made the future perfect.

[39:49] One, automation.

[39:51] Two, asteroid mining.

[39:53] Three.

[39:54] And I forgot what the third one was.

[39:55] Synthetic biology.

[39:56] She asked him, she's like, what are the three things?

Stuart Wellington

[39:58] Can you guess?

[39:59] And I'm like, not those things.

Elliott Kalan

[40:01] Synthetic biology.

[40:02] And it's like.

[40:02] Artesanal chicken.

[40:04] And those are the kinds of things that, like, those are the kinds of buzzwords that, like,

[40:08] a person might hear and in their psychosis or in their, you know, the distortion of a drug

[40:13] mind would try to tie together into some reality.

[40:15] Or like, later she goes, your invention, the thought visualizer.

[40:19] And it's like, you know, a screen where you think things and they appear as a cartoon.

[40:22] And it's like, yeah, I believe this is like someone who's not a scientist's idea of what

[40:26] science might be like in the future.

[40:27] It's like a baby's idea.

Dan McCoy

[40:28] I did think it was funny, though.

[40:30] Like, the third thing was, like, asteroid mining.

[40:34] And Wilson's reaction was, I never would have thought those.

[40:38] I never in a million years would have said those ones.

[40:40] And I'm like, yeah, yeah, it's true.

[40:42] You wouldn't have.

[40:42] No one would have.

[40:43] Yeah.

[40:44] Oh, sorry.

S4

[40:45] I just, you know, when he asked about the thought visualizer, she says, you know,

[40:50] I'm waiting for the more, the obvious explanation that this movie does over and over.

[40:54] And she just goes in her great Selma Hayek accent.

[40:57] It's a thought visualizer.

[41:00] And that's all she says.

[41:01] Yeah, that's all she says.

[41:02] Because they don't really know what it is.

[41:04] Except for wearing a pickle.

[41:05] Like, that's the other big, like, line.

[41:08] They show everything in the thought visualizer except the most, like, I guess the best joke

[41:13] in the thought visualizer, which is wearing a pickle.

[41:15] Which I assume is them literally in a pickle.

[41:17] But it never shows it.

[41:19] That's my guess, but you never see it.

Stuart Wellington

[41:19] Yeah.

[41:20] And that, like, later on.

[41:22] Well, they assume that you, they're going to let your own brain, your own brain-powered

[41:25] mind do the work on that one.

[41:27] Yeah.

[41:27] You're like, is that a kosher pickle?

Dan McCoy

[41:29] Is it a half sour?

[41:30] Is it a full sour?

Elliott Kalan

[41:32] What kind of pickle is it?

[41:33] Or that spoiler alert, I assume, for what Stuart was going to say later, that they go to

[41:36] a big scientist party and they meet Bill Nye there.

[41:40] Because he appeared on a television earlier in the movie.

[41:42] Yeah.

[41:42] And who's really funny in this.

[41:43] And it's like, and it's like, yeah, this is, this guy's not a scientist.

[41:47] This is, I mean, also, what's his name?

[41:49] The, that philosopher.

[41:51] Yeah, that was another dude.

[41:53] Slavoj Zizek is in there.

[41:55] And I don't believe that Owen Wilson would have heard of him.

[41:58] But I know the filmmakers did.

[41:59] But, like, if a person was, like, a regular person who's not plugged into science would

[42:03] be like, yeah, I went to this big science party.

[42:05] And you know who's there?

[42:06] Bill Nye.

[42:07] Because he's the most famous scientist.

[42:08] Like, I'm surprised Neil deGrasse Tyson didn't show up.

[42:11] Because all you have to do to get him in your movie is just say the words Neil deGrasse.

[42:14] And he appears before you and says, where's the camera?

Stuart Wellington

[42:18] So we, we're jumping ahead.

[42:20] So they're currently in a weird futuristic university.

[42:23] Everything is marble.

[42:24] Everything's white or beige.

[42:26] In addition to, like, the people.

[42:29] Yep.

[42:29] Again, looks like Sapienza.

[42:31] Yeah.

[42:31] In addition to the people walking around, there's also holographic projections of people

[42:36] walking around.

Elliott Kalan

[42:37] This was my ludicrous line that I liked here.

[42:39] He goes, what's with all the ghost people or hologram people?

[42:43] Like, he's got to hedge his bets.

[42:44] They might be ghosts.

[42:45] Right.

Dan McCoy

[42:46] And also the hats get a lot better in this world.

[42:50] Oh, yeah.

[42:50] Much cleaner, nicer hats.

[42:52] Yeah, those are carbon-free hats.

Elliott Kalan

[42:53] Those hats aren't contributing to climate change.

[42:56] Yeah, finally.

Stuart Wellington

[42:56] So they, they, they explore the, like, the waterfront part of the town and Owen Wilson

[43:00] gets really excited for olive oil.

[43:03] At which point Isabel says, put that brain boner away.

[43:08] Unbelievable.

Elliott Kalan

[43:09] Yeah.

[43:10] And then he's, and there's a, and there's these, there are all these, like, I don't know.

[43:14] It's, it's, it's a ridiculous idea of what a utopia would be like.

[43:18] They've got olive oil here.

[43:19] We've got to get it for the house.

[43:21] She goes, yeah, put that brain boner away.

[43:22] Like, we've got olive oil at the house.

[43:24] Like, it's, it's like.

[43:25] We have gallons of it.

[43:26] Gallons of it.

[43:27] Yeah.

[43:27] Like, it's, it's the, you know, there's that old John Mulaney joke about how Donald Trump

[43:31] is a, is a homeless person's idea of a rich person where it's like, yeah, I'm going to

[43:35] have a big gold building with my name on it.

[43:36] Like, this is that his idea of a, of a, of a utopia where he's rich is that he has gallons

[43:41] of olive oil at his house.

[43:43] Like, I don't know.

[43:44] I liked all that stuff, but it does go on for too long.

Stuart Wellington

[43:47] It goes on for a long time.

[43:48] So they also point out in the distance, there is a hotel that had been featured in his drawing,

[43:53] the hotel Pleiades, which Isabel says, Pleiades, what a beautiful name.

[43:58] Play at ease.

[44:00] And I'm like, that's, I don't think that's what that means.

[44:02] I don't know what's going on.

Elliott Kalan

[44:04] She says, what better name for a hotel with an observatory?

[44:07] And they never go to the observatory.

[44:08] There's no reason for it to be there.

[44:10] Like, I don't, it's just, it's, it's such a strange detail to go out of your way to comment

[44:14] on and never do anything with.

[44:16] Yeah.

S4

[44:16] It was really weird.

[44:17] But at least at this point in the movie, we know why Owen Wilson signed on because he

[44:21] read the script and he said, so I'm going to go to Italy and make out with Selma Hayek

[44:25] a lot.

[44:25] Okay.

[44:26] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[44:27] Yeah.

[44:27] I mean, I don't know.

[44:28] It'd be hard for him to say no to it, to that project.

[44:30] Yeah.

[44:31] Sure.

[44:31] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[44:31] For even the character in the movie, there's worth reasons to ruin your life.

[44:36] Sure.

[44:37] Okay.

[44:38] So they're hanging out in their villa.

[44:40] His memory hasn't returned.

[44:41] Strangely.

[44:42] It should have returned, even though they're out of the simulation.

[44:44] And then we cut back to the simulation where his daughter, Emily is still looking for him.

[44:50] That's strange because that's just a simulation and she's an FGP.

[44:54] What's going on?

[44:56] Selma explains about the three things that caused this utopia.

[45:00] Again, automation, synthetic biology, and asteroid mining.

[45:04] I'm sure you guessed, all the listeners guessed.

[45:06] They're getting really stoned too.

[45:08] Oh, yeah.

[45:09] Yeah.

[45:09] I mean, that's a utopia.

[45:11] She pulls out a TV screen that is the thought visualizer that has animation similar like the

[45:16] Fallout video game.

[45:18] And you tell the TV what you want and it'll show it to you, right?

Elliott Kalan

[45:24] It's incredibly useless.

[45:26] What a power.

[45:27] It's just visualizing what you're imagining at the moment.

[45:30] He's like, oh, wow, like a tiger riding on the beach and there's a dinosaur in a bikini.

[45:35] And it's like, okay.

[45:37] Like, it's not that useful.

[45:38] This machine.

[45:39] You can cut out the middle man in this.

[45:41] Yeah.

[45:41] I don't have to draw this.

[45:42] Just think about the thing.

[45:43] Imagine what it looks like.

[45:45] She goes, and now it's, this is, we're going to do it.

[45:47] My favorite one.

[45:49] We're in, say we're in a pickle.

[45:50] And he says it and they laugh, but you don't get to see the screen.

[45:53] Yeah.

[45:53] And then later Bill Nye is like, hey, have you tried it with we're in a pickle?

[45:56] It's like, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[45:57] So they decide to have one more day in paradise.

[46:00] Cause she wants to go back into the simulation.

[46:02] He's like, no, this is amazing.

[46:03] Why would we do that?

[46:05] So they decide to have one more day in paradise.

[46:08] They ride a boat.

[46:08] They again put on some nice hats.

[46:12] They get off the boat, immediately go into a mixer.

[46:15] So, you know, it's paradise.

[46:17] It's a mixer between artists and scientists.

[46:20] Bill Nye shows up.

[46:21] He suggests that her research isn't doing so well.

[46:25] And then Isabel and Greg get into a fight.

[46:28] We have the philosopher talking about turtles all the way down.

[46:32] Meanwhile, they're being observed by a pair of holograms that look a lot like his FGP daughter.

[46:37] What do you guys think?

[46:39] It is.

[46:40] It is.

[46:41] Yeah.

[46:41] That's exactly who it is.

Dan McCoy

[46:43] Good work, Columbo.

Elliott Kalan

[46:45] So Greg doesn't want to go back in.

[46:47] One more thing.

[46:48] This looks like a picture of you.

[46:50] Yeah, it is a picture of me.

[46:51] Okay.

[46:54] You are you.

[46:56] Yeah, I said I was me.

[46:56] Greg doesn't want to go back in.

[46:57] I'm confirming it.

Stuart Wellington

[47:00] Greg doesn't want to go back into the simulation.

[47:02] So he convinces Isabel to present her findings on stage.

[47:05] She says as long as he'll sit and be interviewed for it.

[47:09] So they do this big presentation.

[47:11] The signs describe it as the ugly simulation process.

Dan McCoy

[47:17] I'm not quite sure what is supposed to be demonstrated here.

[47:22] Like he says a thing and then she and then I guess he also says the thing that's more true.

[47:30] Like the her science allows us to hear that.

[47:33] I didn't really.

Elliott Kalan

[47:34] Well, it's a mood altering thing.

[47:36] The idea is that you get so used to paradise that you start to nitpick about the tiny things and it's no longer satisfying.

[47:42] But then you spend a little time in the brain box experiencing how crappy life used to be.

[47:46] And when you come back out of it, you feel great and you appreciate things again.

[47:50] So she's like showing this video.

[47:52] She asked him, hey, how's life?

[47:54] It was a before and after interview.

[47:56] Yeah.

[47:56] Like the first interview followed by his like exit.

[47:59] Yeah.

[47:59] So she asked him.

[48:01] She's like, how's life?

[48:01] And he's like, it's amazing.

[48:02] I love everything.

[48:03] And then she shows the old interview pre brain box.

[48:05] And she's like, how is everything?

[48:07] And he's like, I can't get the pool temperature right.

[48:09] This place fucking sucks.

[48:10] Like the idea is the it's essentially the children's book.

[48:15] It could always be worse.

[48:16] But in a in an incredible science fiction scenario where you put yourself through a crappy place that when you come out, you're like, you know what?

[48:23] Paradise is nice.

[48:24] Maybe it doesn't matter if the pool is a little cold.

[48:26] At least I'm not living under an overpass in a kind of tent city shoving crystals up my nose.

S4

[48:31] You know, well, it turned into a like a rich guy's Yelp review of some really awesome place.

[48:36] Basically.

[48:37] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[48:38] Yeah.

[48:38] Basically.

[48:40] He's and during the interview at one point, he gets distracted by the holographic projection of his FGP daughter, Emily.

[48:48] But for all intents and purposes, this presentation goes off.

[48:52] She she's used him as a successful example of the experiment.

[48:55] And the crowd goes crazy.

[48:57] Like they're loving it.

Elliott Kalan

[48:57] It's also it's a hilarious presentation of science because it's like she could have just said, hey, pretend that you really like stuff now.

[49:04] Like there's no data.

[49:05] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[49:05] She's showing them.

[49:06] And there's not you need you would have to do a study of many people under controlled circumstances.

[49:11] It's like, well, let me you don't think it works.

[49:13] Well, let me ask my husband and lover if it works.

[49:16] Yeah, I think it works.

[49:17] Then you must be a genius.

[49:19] Like, it's not even at the level of teaching Peter Boyle how to sing and dance to putting on the Ritz.

[49:24] It's not even that level of like scientific evidence.

Stuart Wellington

[49:28] So during the after the presentation mixer, he tracks down the hologram of his daughter who suddenly becomes real.

[49:37] And she urges him to come back and that she's concerned for him.

[49:42] But he's confused.

[49:44] And then she gives him the crystal necklace.

[49:47] And then she's telling some kind of a story.

[49:51] And it is summarized with braids, not brains.

[49:56] Right.

[49:57] It feels like a weird improv.

[49:59] Yeah.

[50:01] So she wants him to choose between the two worlds.

[50:06] And the simulation starts to blur into this futuristic world.

[50:09] Sometimes the wall looks like a rundown slum.

[50:12] Other times it's this beautiful, I guess, like university.

[50:17] He takes an orange pill and starts to use powers again, pushing, making way for Isabel so she can escape the press of rioters.

[50:28] And everything starts to devolve into chaos.

[50:31] They need to get back into the lab and jack back into the brain box so they can get the ten crystals, which is the only place to get the blue crystals.

[50:38] You need to go back into the brain box, which is where they make the blue crystals.

[50:42] And they need to take ten each or else it won't work.

Elliott Kalan

[50:44] Yeah, it makes sense to me.

[50:45] The only way to get – again, this is, Dan, as you mentioned, the drug-addled dementia of a man having a psychotic break.

[50:52] But, yeah, they have to go into the brain box so they can finally escape the brain box.

S4

[50:57] Now, was this the part where they had the sort of scene where they were running on the rooftops together?

[51:02] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[51:03] Oh, no, no.

[51:04] That was later.

[51:04] As soon as they jack back in.

[51:06] Yeah, as soon as they get in.

[51:08] All right.

[51:08] Well, probably another ludicrous line coming up.

Elliott Kalan

[51:11] They're like running through the plaza and like garbage is appearing around them.

[51:14] Not the band.

[51:15] Right.

[51:15] That would be amazing.

[51:16] Just like, you know, trash.

Dan McCoy

[51:18] Okay.

[51:19] Well, are you ready with – did you hear what Chuck said?

[51:21] Are you ready with the jingle?

Elliott Kalan

[51:22] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[51:22] Wait.

[51:23] I'm trying to remember.

[51:24] Oh, yeah.

[51:24] Okay.

[51:24] So, wait.

[51:26] Hey, this is ludicrous.

[51:27] Get ready for another ludicrous line sponsored by me.

[51:31] Ludicrous.

[51:32] Okay.

[51:32] Now you do, Chuck.

S4

[51:33] Well, I didn't want to jump ahead, but it's when they're running on the roof and it goes

[51:36] really fast.

[51:37] I don't even notice it.

[51:38] But he says something about like, well, shouldn't we have figured that out before people started

[51:44] shooting or something?

[51:45] And then Salma Haye goes, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.

[51:49] It's so weird.

[51:52] And I even played that part for my wife this morning like three times and we were just dying.

[51:56] And it's clearly ADR.

[51:58] Like they were like, well, she's got to say something there because she has no line and like

[52:02] no snappy comeback.

[52:03] Maybe she could just make fun of him.

Elliott Kalan

[52:05] I mean, I love that moment because it was like she, by that point, she is, so the first

[52:10] half of this movie is trying to set her up as like this, basically like a, the, the kind

[52:15] of nightmare version of a, of a manic pixie dream girl.

[52:18] And then she is just so mean to him.

[52:20] The moment, like from that moment on and like she has made his life a nightmare and he's

[52:25] just like, oh, maybe you shouldn't have killed that guy.

[52:27] And she's like, meh, meh, meh, meh.

[52:29] Like she's just like adding, adding like childish.

[52:32] Teasing on top of it.

S4

[52:34] It was so weirdly out of place in a movie that didn't even make sense.

[52:37] So it should have.

[52:38] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[52:38] Yeah.

[52:39] They're back in the simulation.

[52:40] They start to use their powers to cause all kinds of havoc, cutting people's throats,

[52:44] throwing stuff around.

[52:45] They run into Kendo who keeps calling her Dr.

[52:48] Clemens and he starts to reach for something.

[52:51] She claims it's a gun.

[52:52] So she blasts him.

[52:54] Ronnie Chang falls down dead.

[52:55] Turns out he wasn't reaching for a gun.

[52:57] He was reaching for blue crystals.

[52:59] So yeah, they escape over the rooftops.

[53:03] They're on the run.

[53:04] They need to get back to their tarp home, as she calls it.

Elliott Kalan

[53:08] And they have a gun at this point too.

[53:09] They have tricked a, she has gotten into a car with a John and then they beat him up and

[53:16] they take a gun and a wallet.

[53:17] Ludacris line though.

[53:18] Yeah.

[53:20] Did you catch it?

[53:21] Again, this is me, the rapper Ludacris.

[53:23] I'm also an actor and I'm back to introduce another ludacris line.

[53:26] It's a ludacris line from Chuck.

S4

[53:29] When she gets in the car with a John, she says like, you know, what do you want?

[53:34] And he says, like every man would say, he went, how about a BJ and a finger in the butt?

Stuart Wellington

[53:41] I mean, I gotta say a man who knows what he wants.

[53:44] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[53:44] I respect the specific order and, you know, that's a fine thing to want.

[53:51] I was kind of confused.

[53:53] Like it seemed like this transaction was going to happen in the car and that's like a hard

[53:57] physical thing to do.

[53:59] I feel like, I don't know, in the confines.

[54:01] Stuart's like, I don't know if you're creative about it.

Elliott Kalan

[54:04] Stuart's like, oh, have you ever been in a car?

[54:05] I mean, the worst thing that happens is her hand's going to fall asleep because of the

[54:09] weight of him on her arm while she's putting a finger in his butt.

[54:11] Yeah, true, true, true, true.

[54:13] But it is very funny.

Stuart Wellington

[54:14] It's like he's ordering.

[54:15] It's like he's ordering an archant.

[54:16] We should use our thought visualizer and diagram that shit.

Elliott Kalan

[54:21] Okay, but only if it's in a pickle.

[54:24] But the way that maybe that's what in a pickle means is a finger in a butt.

[54:27] That's what you see.

[54:28] But it's like he's ordering off the menu at the restaurant.

[54:32] How about a BJ and a finger?

[54:33] Yeah, he scanned the fucking QR code.

[54:35] Yeah, well, we're running a combo on that right now.

[54:38] Okay, sure.

[54:38] We don't usually put those two together, but sure.

[54:41] It's your way right away, sure.

Stuart Wellington

[54:43] The cops have them surrounded at their tarp home.

[54:46] They realize they actually don't have enough crystals for both of them to get out of there.

[54:52] They only have enough for one of them.

[54:54] And Owen Wilson at first is like, well, I'll just take them then.

Elliott Kalan

[54:56] Oh, yeah, that's my favorite part.

S4

[54:58] He's like, all right, well, I'm going then.

[54:59] Sorry.

Elliott Kalan

[55:00] I can't stay here.

[55:01] I'm going.

[55:02] But then he's not so unshivalrous for long.

Stuart Wellington

[55:05] So she takes the drugs.

[55:09] She distracts the cops before squirting the blue crystals up her nose and giving him enough time to escape.

[55:16] He goes running away in a pretty interesting long take, like a long single shot of him running away.

[55:23] I thought that was kind of cool.

[55:24] For a while.

[55:24] Yeah.

[55:25] Uh-huh.

[55:26] And then he, of course, immediately runs all the way to a rehab clinic where he checks himself in.

[55:31] And at his first meeting, he says that he believes he has a daughter.

[55:35] And then we – sometime later, he meets up with his daughter on a bench.

Dan McCoy

[55:39] She's my daughter and I believe her I think is how he puts it actually.

[55:43] Yes.

[55:43] Which is an unusual opening thing to say.

Elliott Kalan

[55:49] It's not quite a ludicrous line but it is an out-of-the-ordinary line.

[55:53] Before this – so I just – there's a moral I feel like that the movie gives earlier – a little bit earlier when he's arguing with Isabel that I feel the movie doesn't really earn.

[56:04] Where he's saying to Isabel, he's like, well, I'll use those crystals then.

[56:07] He goes, no, wait.

[56:09] You use the crystals but first kill me and I'll wake up in the real world.

[56:12] And she goes, I don't know.

[56:13] And he goes, well, that's – you said that's what happened when you killed Kendo.

[56:16] And she's like, yeah, but I don't really know.

[56:17] Like she's just going to casually give the way that she probably did kill Kendo.

[56:21] And the – and so he's telling her that.

[56:24] You know what?

[56:25] Actually –

Stuart Wellington

[56:25] I also like the idea that he's like, yeah, just use a rock and bash my brains.

[56:31] Yeah.

[56:31] I'm like, that's intense, dude.

[56:34] Like if I'm playing a video game and I have to do that, I'm uncomfortable about it.

[56:37] And he knows she has a –

[56:38] Let alone a person.

Elliott Kalan

[56:39] He knows she has a gun too.

[56:40] So like do it fast or do it slow but you got to kill me.

[56:44] Maybe use – just use that rock.

[56:46] Use a spoon.

[56:47] Tell you what.

[56:49] He's like, you know what?

[56:50] That world is beautiful but this world is beautiful too because you never know what's going to happen.

[56:54] It's so unpredictable.

[56:55] You know, anything can happen and that's beautiful.

[56:57] And I was like, okay, if that's the moral the movie is pushing, then I don't – I don't think the movie has earned that moral because –

[57:04] This has been an unpredictable movie but it's also – his life is just a nonstop spiral into chaos.

[57:09] There's never – you know, there's very little magic going on between him and Salma Hayek in this real stimulation fakes real world.

[57:18] Right.

[57:19] In the grim world.

[57:20] Yeah.

[57:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[57:22] So –

[57:23] Which is clearly the real, real world.

[57:25] Wait, what?

[57:27] It's –

[57:27] The real, real world.

[57:28] The real, real world.

[57:30] Yeah, yeah.

[57:30] Because people have stopped being polite and they started being real.

[57:32] Right.

[57:32] Nobody is very polite in the movie.

Dan McCoy

[57:34] So wait, is his boss dead?

[57:37] Well, he shows up later on.

[57:39] That was a confusing part to me because I'm like –

[57:41] I don't –

[57:43] Is his wallet real?

[57:44] The logic of this movie, like I guess, you know, people have fantasies about killing their boss.

[57:52] So like if that's part of the fantasy, the early part, then sure, that makes sense.

[57:58] But then why would you have a fantasy where it happens in such a weird way?

Elliott Kalan

[58:01] Yeah, well, because he's a weird guy.

[58:04] As you can tell, he's a pretty strange guy.

Stuart Wellington

[58:06] Did he really have a corner office at a place called Technical Difficulties?

[58:11] Right.

[58:11] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[58:12] I think that –

[58:13] So here's what I'm going to say about this movie.

[58:14] I think to go at it from a literal point of view and say,

[58:17] but which stuff was real then and which stuff was not real is to not get the point of the movie.

[58:22] And again, the movie is not clear in its point.

[58:24] It's not –

[58:24] Like I was saying, it's not really successful in what it's doing.

[58:26] But I think the entire time it is his emotional – the emotional state that he is in.

[58:33] And you can't – the same way that like a more successful version of a movie like this is like Synecdoche, New York,

[58:38] where there's no point in that movie I feel like where you are watching the literal natural worlds that we all exist in.

[58:43] You are always in Philip Seymour Hoffman's head the entire movie.

[58:47] So anything is –

[58:48] Yeah.

[58:48] To ask is this – or the way that –

[58:50] I remember once watching Memento with somebody years ago and it was still a newish movie.

[58:55] And they're like, I like to believe that he's just a serial killer and he's made up everything that happens and none of it's real.

[59:01] And I was like, well, that's a boring movie.

[59:03] Like what a boring movie that is.

[59:05] But like there has to be an idea that some of it's real.

[59:08] But you're – like when he's at that company called Technical Difficulties, that is just a room full of people saying into phones over and over again,

[59:14] I'm sorry you're having technical difficulties.

[59:16] Like that is just his emotional understanding of the where he works and things like that.

[59:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[59:23] Guys, when I watch Commando, I like to imagine that Alyssa Milano's character isn't – doesn't actually exist and he's just killing all these people for no reason.

Elliott Kalan

[59:29] I mean that's the thing.

[59:31] It's like once you do that, you can do that for every movie.

[59:34] There's no movie where you can't say, oh, well, that character doesn't exist.

[59:37] It's all in their head.

[59:38] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[59:39] Now I'm playing with power.

Dan McCoy

[59:40] No, this is – no, I agree.

[59:42] This is a fault of like internet theorizing that has like gotten so out of hand.

[59:48] I mean there's a confusion between like having an opinion about a movie and being like – and I can also invent whatever extra textural thing that I want to support my view of the film.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:00] There's a story that Roger Ebert used to tell about showing a class of students the movie being there where at the end – spoiler alert.

[1:00:07] He literally – he walks on water at the end because he's such an innocent I guess or it's not quite – it's not explained to you.

[1:00:13] And that students in his class were like, well, maybe there was like a ridge under the water or like maybe it wasn't that deep.

[1:00:21] And so that's what he's really walking on.

[1:00:22] Maybe there's like a track under the water.

[1:00:25] And he was like, you can't invent stuff that's not on screen in the movie.

[1:00:28] Like the movie is challenging you with something.

[1:00:32] You can't just be like, well, I'm going to make up an explanation that's supported by nothing in the film.

[1:00:36] And I feel like that's a thing that happens a lot.

[1:00:39] Well, I think the fact that the idea that movies have to be explained – like there's so many articles where it's like the ending of Spider-Man No Way Hum explained.

[1:00:46] And I'm like, I don't – it seems pretty clear.

[1:00:48] Like I don't know what you need to explain about that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:52] They were like the end of Power of the Dog explained.

[1:00:55] I'm like, it's actually pretty clear.

[1:00:57] It's incredibly clear.

[1:00:58] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:59] I tweeted about a – actually, I saw this clickbait article today that was like 10 dangling threads that Night Court never got to wrap up.

[1:01:08] And I was like –

[1:01:09] Wow.

[1:01:09] I had to see what it was.

[1:01:10] I was reading it.

[1:01:11] I'm like, yeah, these are just things that happened.

[1:01:14] Where did he learn that?

[1:01:15] I know, I know.

[1:01:17] But it was like, oh, his relationship with this other character never got – and I'm like, okay.

[1:01:23] I'll raise you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:24] I'll raise you, Dan.

[1:01:25] I once saw an article and I clicked on it because I had to called all the Back to the Future movies ranked.

[1:01:31] And it was like there's only three of them.

[1:01:35] How did it go?

[1:01:36] Did it go one, two, three?

[1:01:37] That's how I do it.

[1:01:38] Yeah, basically.

[1:01:38] Pretty much, yeah.

[1:01:39] That was – but it was like – it was the most – it was like, hey, they told me I need to write five articles today.

[1:01:47] It is 4.50 p.m.

[1:01:48] I know.

[1:01:49] I got to get this fifth article written.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:51] I guess I'll rank all the movies in the three movie series.

[1:01:53] It both infuriates me and I'm like, I know this is just some poor writer who wants to write who has to do this.

[1:01:59] Yeah.

[1:02:00] You know, but God, what a world.

[1:02:02] Anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:02] That was – yeah, that was all the movie.

[1:02:04] That was good.

[1:02:04] That was the whole movie.

[1:02:05] That was the whole movie.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:06] It's called Bliss.

[1:02:06] Most game shows quiz contestants about topics they don't even care about.

S5

[1:02:16] But for 100 episodes, the Go Fact Yourself podcast has asked celebrity guests trivia about topics they choose for themselves.

S4

[1:02:23] And introduced them to some of their personal heroes along the way.

S5

[1:02:26] Oh, my gosh.

[1:02:28] Shut up.

[1:02:29] Oh, I feel like I'm going to cry.

[1:02:31] Oh, my stuff.

[1:02:33] It's so, so exciting to meet you.

S6

[1:02:34] Join me, J. Keith Van Stratton.

S5

[1:02:36] And me, Helen Hong, along with special guests DJ Jazzy Jeff and Faith Saley, plus some amazing surprise experts on the 100th episode of Go Fact Yourself.

S4

[1:02:47] And join us twice a month, every month, for new episodes of Go Fact Yourself here on Maximum Fun.

S6

[1:02:55] Hi, Maximum Fun.

[1:02:57] It's me, James Arthur M. from Minority Corner.

[1:02:59] Okay, I got some good news and I got some bad news.

[1:03:02] Bad news.

[1:03:03] Minority Corner, after seven years and 340 episodes.

[1:03:06] We are wrapping up our show.

[1:03:08] I know, I know.

[1:03:09] But hey, good news.

[1:03:10] Good news is that means we must have solved racism and homophobia and sexism and equality and equity for all.

[1:03:18] Yay.

[1:03:19] No, no, we didn't.

[1:03:21] Well, I'd like to think at least that we are better off than when we started seven years ago.

[1:03:25] So don't worry.

[1:03:26] We might be saying goodbye, but our episodes will live on in the podcast airwaves.

[1:03:31] More and more.

[1:03:33] More until the internet crashes and burn.

[1:03:35] Whatever comes first.

[1:03:36] Minority Corner.

[1:03:36] The final episode is right here on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

[1:03:41] Minority Corner.

[1:03:41] Because together, we're the majority.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:43] The Flophouse has some sponsors this week and we're very excited to tell you about them.

[1:03:48] This podcast, The Flophouse, is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy.

[1:03:53] Look, this is the time in a person's life and also the history of the world when more than anything, you need to take care of yourself.

[1:04:00] Because things are not easy.

[1:04:02] I think, I don't know if you, I don't know if anyone listening has noticed, but the past couple years have been difficult.

[1:04:08] And so this is a time, especially, when you need to look out for yourself, take care of yourself, do what you can to get yourself feeling like you can keep going.

[1:04:17] Not just at the bare subsistence survival level, but also enjoying life and having a good life and making the most of your time.

[1:04:24] Because we only have so much time on this earth.

[1:04:26] BetterHelp didn't tell me to say that, but you know what?

[1:04:29] You needed to hear it.

[1:04:30] I'm sorry, but do it now because you need to take care of yourself.

[1:04:33] It's time.

[1:04:33] You don't have a lot of time left.

[1:04:35] You're next.

[1:04:36] You're next.

[1:04:36] That was the end of the invasion of the body snatchers.

[1:04:38] Anyway, therapy is something that I have fallen back on many times.

[1:04:42] It's been very helpful to me.

[1:04:43] And not just in times when I have felt like I am fraying at the edges, but just regular times too.

[1:04:48] It's something that can help you just get the most out of your time.

[1:04:52] And also, it's good to have that time to just be able to talk about yourself and what's going on with you and feel like you can shine a spotlight on yourself for a moment.

[1:04:59] And just be yourself and talk in a way that's helpful.

[1:05:03] And that's where maybe BetterHelp is the solution for you.

[1:05:06] Therapy in general, I'd recommend to everybody.

[1:05:08] And perhaps BetterHelp can help you that way.

[1:05:09] It is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist.

[1:05:14] So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to, which I know is something that I like because that way I can pretend the therapist is not looking at me.

[1:05:22] If I can't see them, then they can't see me, which helps me to talk about things that I'd be uncomfortable talking about when someone can look at me.

[1:05:28] It can be more affordable than in-person therapy.

[1:05:30] And you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours.

[1:05:33] A lot of getting a therapist and finding the right one is being matched and trying out sometimes multiple people to find the one that you connect with the best.

[1:05:40] So getting matched quickly is great.

[1:05:42] If it's not the right match for you, you can get matched quickly again.

[1:05:45] Give it a try.

[1:05:46] See why over 2 million people have used BetterHelp Online Therapy.

[1:05:49] We're sponsored by BetterHelp, and that means that Flophouse listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash flop.

[1:05:56] That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash flop.

[1:06:01] Try it out.

[1:06:01] What are you waiting for?

[1:06:02] I don't know.

[1:06:03] So go ahead and do it.

[1:06:04] I know.

[1:06:05] I'm doing it.

[1:06:06] I'm sorry.

[1:06:06] I didn't mean to put more stress on you, but that's why therapy is good because you can handle that stress.

[1:06:10] Okay.

[1:06:11] Now it's sounding more like another thing I have to check off, and it's more pressure, and I know it's something I need to do to help myself.

[1:06:16] I'm sorry.

[1:06:17] I didn't mean it that way.

[1:06:18] Betterhelp.com.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:20] Slash flop.

[1:06:20] The Flophouse is also sponsored in part by…

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:24] Did I get too real with my own thought process there, guys?

[1:06:26] You did, yeah.

[1:06:27] I apologize.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:28] I apologize.

[1:06:28] Trip through your internal monologue made extra.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:31] A real bliss.

[1:06:33] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:35] So the Flophouse is sponsored in part as well by Storyblocks.

[1:06:39] Bring your stories to life without sacrificing your vision with Storyblocks.

[1:06:45] Storyblocks' unlimited all-access plan gives you unlimited data.

[1:06:48] Do unlimited downloads of the over 1 million-plus assets in their library.

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[1:07:11] The stock is their commitment to increase representation in stock media by hiring creators from marginalized communities to create content that is more reflective of the diverse world we live in.

[1:07:23] I've used Storyblocks multiple times.

[1:07:27] I made a couple of videos for previous live shows, intermission videos using Storyblocks.

[1:07:34] A little peek behind the curtain.

[1:07:37] I'm going to do something new for the intermission video this time around.

[1:07:41] This is the first time hearing this.

[1:07:42] I like to change things up and surprise people.

[1:07:44] But when I did use them, they were great.

[1:07:49] I could find a lot of footage.

[1:07:52] Anything that I thought of in my dumb little brain, I could put in the search bar.

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[1:07:58] Looked great.

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[1:08:01] You can explore their library and subscribe today at storyblocks.com slash flop.

[1:08:07] That's storyblocks.com slash flop.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:11] We also got us a Jumbotron today.

[1:08:14] Something that you can do too if you want.

[1:08:16] But the Jumbotron that we got this time goes as follows.

[1:08:20] My name is Ryan and I mix full albums for bands for free.

[1:08:26] I used to work professionally in the field, but now I just do it because I love it.

[1:08:31] I have availability in my schedule in 2022 to take on some new mixing projects.

[1:08:37] So I'm looking for bands who have recorded an album but haven't mixed or released it yet.

[1:08:43] If that sounds like you or someone you know, please visit imixforfree.com and submit your project for consideration.

[1:08:53] Not a gimmick.

[1:08:55] For reals.

[1:08:57] I don't charge.

[1:08:58] I just like doing it.

[1:09:00] So go to imixforfree.com to submit your project.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:10] Let's talk about Final Judgments.

[1:09:12] Whether it's a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, a movie we kind of liked.

[1:09:17] I will kick us off because I think I'm the outlier and I'll just be like, look, I know it's not rational.

[1:09:24] Sometimes like a reaction that people have to movies.

[1:09:28] For some reason, this movie just rubbed me the wrong way and made me angry.

[1:09:32] And I think part of it is like, I like Owen Wilson and Salma Hayek and they're giving it their best.

[1:09:38] So parts of this movie are.

[1:09:40] I also like Ronnie Chang.

[1:09:42] I like Ronnie Chang.

[1:09:44] A very nice human being.

[1:09:46] I just, they're good at what they do.

[1:09:51] And so I actually was emotionally affected by some of the stuff.

[1:09:54] Like the scene where Owen Wilson is presented with the fact that he has already missed his daughter's graduation.

[1:10:01] It made me sad.

[1:10:02] But I think part of it is I make a deal with art and or entertainment that, okay, movie, if you're going to make me sad, you better be good.

[1:10:14] Like, if something's dumb and it also makes me feel bad, I feel a lot worse about it, I think.

[1:10:22] And so to me, this was a case of a lot of miserable things happening.

[1:10:28] And I don't think that it did enough to present it in a artful or entertaining way for me to react well to the fact that I just sort of walked out like upset.

[1:10:40] And it told me something that I already knew, which was like, okay, this man's life is in spiral and he needs help.

[1:10:48] And at the end, he got help.

[1:10:50] And I guess that's good for this fictional man.

[1:10:52] But I didn't enjoy the journey.

[1:10:54] But what do you guys have to say?

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:57] Sorry, I just got forwarded a movie review by one Chuck Bryant.

[1:11:04] I'm going to say, you know what?

[1:11:06] This movie was pretty good.

[1:11:11] I mean, this is a dumb movie.

[1:11:14] This is a dumb, bad movie.

[1:11:15] It is like a student film that has a wildly high production budget.

[1:11:23] And in that it has these like very earnest feelings that it does not know quite how to express.

[1:11:31] Owen Wilson is doing his best.

[1:11:34] Salma Hayek is doing her best.

[1:11:37] And there's some very funny line readings that like I saw somebody on Twitter describe Danny McBride's line readings in Righteous Gemstones is like the uncanny valley of dialogue.

[1:11:47] And I feel like a lot of this movie is that way too.

[1:11:50] Like it's been run through like three different processors before you get some kind of end result with like, you know, the brain powered mind of Greg Whittle.

[1:11:58] But yeah, I mean, I would say this is a solid good, bad movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:03] I would say it would work as a good, bad movie for sure.

[1:12:07] And I actually – but I did kind of like it.

[1:12:09] It was a movie that I don't think is successful.

[1:12:12] It feels like a – it feels like a – it's trying to do the kinds of things on a even slightly less pretentious level than Mother did and is not anywhere near that level of achievement.

[1:12:24] And Mother's movie I like a lot.

[1:12:25] And there is a – I think Owen Wilson is not really well cast in it like because he is so incapable of showing shock or amazement or like he's so even keeled all the time.

[1:12:38] He shows amazement all the time.

[1:12:39] He's constantly saying wow.

[1:12:41] That's the problem.

[1:12:41] But even his wows are so incredibly – when he says wow, it feels like he is saying it because he thinks you expect a reaction from him.

[1:12:48] Like you've just given him a present that he was not impressed by and he's like, no, wow, wow, yeah, wow.

[1:12:55] That's something.

[1:12:56] Like it's not – I think he is – he doesn't really do manic particularly naturally.

[1:13:02] And it's a movie that is like – it's super ham-handed.

[1:13:05] I think you're right, Dan, that it does not really earn the emotions it's going for.

[1:13:09] But I liked a lot of it in the world.

[1:13:12] Once it was clear to me what this movie is, that this is about a guy who is in a toxic relationship who has lost his grip on reality and has to make a choice between am I going to stay?

[1:13:25] Am I in this objectively more pleasant fantasy or am I going to return to reality because there's someone there who is – who needs me because my daughter needs me basically and doesn't need me to take care of her but just needs that connection?

[1:13:40] Like I really like that aspect of it.

[1:13:42] And I feel like the movie doesn't – the movie doesn't fully understand what emotions it's going for.

[1:13:48] But at the same time, there's part of me that's like – like Stuart says, it feels like a student film on a big budget.

[1:13:52] There's a lot in this that I would forgive more if it was a student film or a super independent film because it has ambition to it.

[1:14:00] Unfortunately, it has the budget to meet that ambition which I think is to its detriment because it doesn't have – it's – craft-wise, it's not meeting that ambition.

[1:14:08] So it's like it should be – it's not as good a movie as it wants to be or thinks it is.

[1:14:12] But there's still a lot in it that like got to me a little bit and I was enjoying that journey.

[1:14:18] But I also, Dan, enjoy movies where people's minds are falling apart and we're seeing it through that.

[1:14:24] So like there's parts of this where I was like, yeah, yeah, this is like someone trying to do a not arch like – or not cheeky like Terry Gilliam type story.

[1:14:35] And it's not really working.

[1:14:37] But I still liked – I liked the attempt and I liked all those ludicrous lines that Chuck was saying.

[1:14:41] I was like, yeah, because it's through the mind of someone who's falling apart.

[1:14:45] So like I get that.

[1:14:46] Even the fact that the non-player characters in the thing are called fake-generated people, it's like, yeah, this guy – this world is the creation of something.

[1:14:54] Someone who is not a good writer in the world of the movie.

[1:14:57] So like he doesn't know – he's not a good name for it.

[1:14:59] But anyway, Chuck, what did you think?

S4

[1:15:02] Well, I kind of vacillated between thinking it was really, really, really bad.

[1:15:09] And I think the student film comparison is really spot on.

[1:15:13] It felt like it's the most student filmy major production I think I've ever seen.

[1:15:19] But because I was watching it for the show, I kept wanting to have a good time because I was looking forward to recording with you guys.

[1:15:28] So –

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:28] That was your mistake.

[1:15:29] That was your big mistake.

S4

[1:15:30] I know.

[1:15:30] I was kind of going up and down.

[1:15:32] At one point, I tried to imagine that this character was Dignan.

[1:15:36] And this was just like Dignan from Bottle Rocket years later.

[1:15:40] And like this is really what happened to him.

[1:15:42] And then I kind of liked it a little bit more.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:44] They're both on the run from Johnny Law.

[1:15:45] Yeah.

[1:15:45] It makes more sense than if it's Owen Wilson from Behind Enemy Lines.

[1:15:49] Well, that's true.

[1:15:49] That's probably true.

[1:15:50] Yeah.

[1:15:50] True.

[1:15:50] Because then he knew how to handle like weapons and stuff, you know.

S4

[1:15:53] But I'm with Dan.

[1:15:54] Like ultimately –

[1:15:55] What about Drillbit Taylor?

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:57] It could be Drillbit Taylor.

[1:15:59] Could be Drillbit Taylor.

[1:16:01] Was he Dupree or was someone else Dupree in that movie?

[1:16:04] I think he was Dupree.

[1:16:05] I think he was Dupree.

[1:16:06] No, I think he was me.

[1:16:07] Was he Marley?

[1:16:08] Was he me?

[1:16:08] He was Marley.

[1:16:09] Yeah.

[1:16:10] And Dupree.

[1:16:10] Right.

[1:16:12] He was Detective Marley Dupree.

[1:16:15] Oh, man.

[1:16:17] Man, give me like 20 books based on that character.

[1:16:19] Yeah.

[1:16:20] And what if he was Lightning McQueen but years later now and he's not a car anymore and he's

[1:16:25] falling hard on his luck, you know.

S4

[1:16:28] Ultimately, I'm with Dan though.

[1:16:29] Like it made me mad at a certain point.

[1:16:32] Like I can wrap my head around a good bad movie if I think the director can kind of give

[1:16:39] you a nod and a wink and say have fun with that.

[1:16:41] But this feels like a director who was very overly serious about it.

[1:16:46] And if you didn't like it, then you didn't get it.

[1:16:48] And then I kind of started getting a little angry at it because it felt self-important.

[1:16:53] Like I think the director thinks he made a great movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:57] Oh, he certainly thinks he made a statement of some kind.

[1:17:00] You know, which he doesn't.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:03] But yeah.

[1:17:04] Bad, bad, bad movie for me overall.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:06] Wow.

[1:17:06] We really ran the gamut with our ratings this time.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:09] Uh-huh.

[1:17:09] Yeah.

[1:17:10] We're providing no guidance for anyone who might be curious about Bliss.

[1:17:16] But maybe, maybe not.

[1:17:17] That's a good lesson for all of you listeners.

[1:17:20] Don't look to us to know what to do with your life.

[1:17:23] Don't give in to peer pressure, kids.

[1:17:25] Yeah.

[1:17:25] You got to look inside.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:27] And that there's nobody whose taste in movies is always going to match up with everybody else's

[1:17:32] or anything.

[1:17:32] Like even in Roger Ebert's book of like, I hated this movie reviews.

[1:17:37] Like there's movies in there where I'm like, oh, I like that movie.

[1:17:40] I guess he didn't like it.

[1:17:41] That's okay.

[1:17:41] You know.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:41] Well, he famously gave bad reviews to both Raising Arizona and Blue Velvet, which are.

S4

[1:17:47] Oh, right.

[1:17:48] The Google reviews on this are really weird though.

[1:17:49] I never look at those, but I poke through some of them and it's really evenly divided.

[1:17:55] And it seems like a hundred percent of the people that, that love, there are people that

[1:17:59] love this movie and think it's like one mass, one person called it a masterpiece.

[1:18:04] Uh, it seems like across the board, they all took the interpretation that it was about

[1:18:08] mental illness and drug addiction only.

[1:18:11] And, uh, most of these people were people who were formerly addicted who said like he nailed

[1:18:16] it and like, this is what it's like.

[1:18:18] Uh, and, and the director himself said, uh, the movie works best if there's a by stability

[1:18:24] of interpretations.

[1:18:26] What does that mean?

[1:18:27] I had to look it up.

[1:18:28] It's a scientific term meaning like basically each interpretation is completely valid and

[1:18:34] equal and kind of cancels each other out or supports one another.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:38] I mean, that's the thing.

[1:18:39] If it's a movie about somebody who is, if, if that's the thing to me, if the future stuff

[1:18:43] is taken as real, I like it.

[1:18:45] If you're existing in a space where you don't quite know for sure.

[1:18:47] But if the, if the, if the, if he was like, no, no, the future stuff is real, then I'd

[1:18:50] be like, this movie is a piece of junk.

[1:18:52] Like, come on.

[1:18:53] That doesn't, that's, that's not, none of that makes any sense.

[1:18:55] Yeah.

[1:18:56] Yeah.

[1:18:56] Well, but there were things, especially in the relationship between him and Salma Hayek

[1:18:59] when she is mood swinging wildly and he is kind of caught in her orbit.

[1:19:04] Like there are times where I'm like, oh, well this is basically the movie bug, but like

[1:19:08] with, with more.

[1:19:09] Yeah.

[1:19:09] That's a good, that's a good comparison.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:11] Yeah.

[1:19:11] Well, that's, I mean, like, I'm glad Chuck said that because I did want to say, you know,

[1:19:16] like I could see this movie being meaningful, very meaningful to people who have struggled

[1:19:21] with addiction or, or, uh, mental illness in some way that I don't feel like I'm totally

[1:19:29] qualified to say.

[1:19:31] I just know that from my perspective, like the, is it this or that?

[1:19:35] Like, even if it's not meant to actually be like trying to trick you as a movie made me

[1:19:41] angry.

[1:19:42] Cause I'm just like, don't mess around with me movie.

[1:19:45] Like I'm, I'm finding certain parts of this affecting, but you know, I, what game are you

[1:19:51] playing?

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:52] Now I'm just, now I'm just imagining, uh, if they swapped out Owen Wilson for Ashley Judd

[1:19:57] or Michael Shannon.

[1:19:58] Oh wow.

[1:19:58] What a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:59] If it was Michael Shannon instead of Owen Wilson, can you met like this movie, I think

[1:20:04] would be up at a different level.

[1:20:05] Cause you're like, totally.

[1:20:06] Yeah.

[1:20:06] I get it.

[1:20:06] This guy is, this guy is unhinged.

[1:20:08] Yeah.

[1:20:08] He doesn't know what's going on.

[1:20:10] You know?

[1:20:10] Weird casting.

[1:20:11] Yeah.

[1:20:11] Uh, Dan, I think this, this shows a big, I like, I like being messed with by movies.

[1:20:15] I think maybe you shouldn't watch, you should probably not watch all those check new wave

[1:20:19] movies I was recommending a little while ago.

[1:20:20] I don't know if they're going to be on your wavelength.

[1:20:22] All of them.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:23] Well, I did like bug.

[1:20:25] So does that change your, I told you about the time I saw somebody watching bug on their

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:29] laptop on a plane.

[1:20:31] I'm like, wow, there's a lot of nudity.

[1:20:32] That's a good call.

[1:20:33] Man, this guy's got stones.

[1:20:35] This guy knows what's up.

[1:20:36] That's like a movie I would pick and then have to like cover my laptop with my torso.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:42] You have to, you'd have to try to block the laptop with your boner so that no, that nobody

[1:20:45] would see it.

[1:20:46] It wasn't supposed to.

[1:20:46] I like when I was watching Zola on the plane and I'm like, the most erotic, sexy movie

Dan McCoy

[1:20:51] bug.

[1:20:52] Hey, let's move on to letters.

[1:20:55] Why not?

[1:20:56] You know, it's just for fun.

[1:20:57] Let's do this.

[1:20:59] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:59] M.

[1:21:00] That's a good one.

[1:21:01] What?

[1:21:02] Also Q.

[1:21:03] You don't use it a lot, but Q's a good letter.

[1:21:06] Look at it.

[1:21:06] It's got a pleasingly round shape with that little stick coming out and it's like, hey.

[1:21:10] Kind of getting a bad rep lately.

[1:21:12] Yeah.

[1:21:13] Yeah.

[1:21:13] Well, I mean, he's been put up to some bad uses, but the letter itself visually.

[1:21:16] That's true.

[1:21:17] Why do you think it's so popular with crazy people?

[1:21:19] Because it's a beautiful looking letter and you're going around it and you're like, I

[1:21:22] know what this letter's got in store for me.

[1:21:24] And then there's that little cross thing that goes through it and you're like, wait a minute.

[1:21:28] I wasn't expecting that.

[1:21:30] It's got a little twist.

[1:21:30] There's a twist at the end.

[1:21:32] W is a pretty good letter, but again, that's just M upside down.

[1:21:35] We can argue over which way it looks best.

[1:21:36] Just two U's.

[1:21:37] Yeah.

[1:21:38] And what about, so Dan, what's a letter you like?

[1:21:40] Probably like a D because your name starts with it?

[1:21:42] Well, I like this letter.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:44] I don't know what it's from because I cut it off.

[1:21:47] Apparently, I'm sorry.

[1:21:50] Classic.

[1:21:51] But if it's your letter, you should feel proud because you did good.

[1:21:55] It's on the flop house.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:57] The first name and the last name have both been withheld.

[1:21:59] I hope you're enjoying your moment in the sun, your little moment of stardom.

[1:22:04] Hello.

[1:22:05] I'm one of those kids from the 50s.

[1:22:07] Wait, let me see if I can find it.

[1:22:08] They're like, today, and we're celebrating the birthday of, well, we don't know the name,

[1:22:12] but there's some kid somewhere with a birthday.

[1:22:14] And the kid would be like, wait, but I wasn't mentioned.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:18] Okay, wait.

[1:22:18] It's from Trisha, last name withheld.

[1:22:20] I found it.

[1:22:21] Okay.

[1:22:21] Thank you.

[1:22:21] Great.

[1:22:22] Okay.

[1:22:23] This question is for Stuart.

[1:22:26] Yay.

[1:22:26] I saw that Tom Holland took on bartending for his role in Uncharted.

[1:22:31] Yep.

[1:22:32] Would you let him bartend at your bar?

[1:22:33] Question mark.

[1:22:34] Which celebrity would you let bartend at your bar, given the opportunity?

[1:22:38] Thanks for all the laughs.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:40] I mean, I feel like, I mean, of course I would let Tom Holland.

[1:22:44] He's a huge star.

[1:22:45] Tons of people would show up.

[1:22:47] I would have to get like, I'd have to get extra people to check fucking IDs, I'd imagine.

[1:22:51] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:22:52] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:53] Because, you know, if Tom Holland's there, then Zendaya's going to be there also.

[1:22:57] So, you just got to watch it.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:59] Again, as long as we're on, it's Loan and it's Zendaya.

[1:23:04] Zendaya.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:06] I would make fun of you, but then I was heavily correcting Stuart earlier and probably wrong

[1:23:11] when I corrected him.

[1:23:12] So, I'll take it.

[1:23:13] No, no.

[1:23:13] Thank you for that.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:14] I know for a fact that it is Zendaya.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:16] So, let's see.

[1:23:17] Wait, is that your way of hinting that you've been seeing her on the side?

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:21] Don't tell Tom Holland.

[1:23:22] Oh, no.

[1:23:25] I've seen some of his bartending moves.

[1:23:27] He could like throw a bottle right at your head.

[1:23:29] Yeah, he's got some cocktail level moves.

[1:23:32] Some flair bartending.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:33] He was bitten by a radioactive spider.

[1:23:34] I think he can bartend.

[1:23:36] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:37] I mean, there are a lot more goes into it than just physical dexterity, Elliot.

[1:23:41] It's, you know, ability to like talk to people and read people.

[1:23:45] And I mean, I guess he can do all those things because he's both a human and he has spider

[1:23:50] abilities.

[1:23:50] Yeah.

[1:23:50] He also has the socialized.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:52] He has the proportional socializing skills of a spider, which is actually worse than a

[1:23:55] regular human.

[1:23:56] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:57] Uh-huh.

[1:23:58] Because he'll trap you in his orbit and slowly suck all your life juice out.

[1:24:02] Which sounds like some customers I know.

[1:24:07] As far as not, if you're listening to this podcast, you're not one of those people.

[1:24:13] You're great.

[1:24:15] The, I feel like, I don't know, like, I don't know, like a Bill Murray type.

[1:24:19] Get a Bill Murray behind my bar.

[1:24:21] I'm sure he'd be fine.

[1:24:22] That'd bring up a lot of people.

[1:24:23] A lot of drunks like Bill Murray, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:26] Sure, I guess.

[1:24:28] I don't know why you're looking at me.

[1:24:28] I mean, you would know better than us.

[1:24:29] Again, you're in the liquor industry, so you would have a better idea of what people who

[1:24:32] drink would like.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:33] I mean, I would want to get somebody like a George Clooney or Ryan Reynolds who has a

[1:24:39] booze brand to come out and hawk their booze, something like that.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:42] What about Danny DeVito?

[1:24:44] He's got a limoncello.

[1:24:46] Yeah, of course.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:47] Danny DeVito, yeah.

[1:24:49] Ryan Reynolds?

[1:24:50] What am I, crazy?

[1:24:50] He's amazing.

S4

[1:24:51] Mm-hmm.

[1:24:52] Crying.

[1:24:52] I was waiting for Dan to say crying.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:55] Yeah, yeah, what's up?

S4

[1:24:56] Stu, there was a ludicrous line from the bartender in the movie, too.

[1:24:59] I don't know if that bugged you or not.

[1:25:01] Which one?

[1:25:02] Well, I need my cue first.

[1:25:05] Oh.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:06] It's a ludicrous line from Chuck.

[1:25:09] It's a ludicrous line sponsored by me, ludicrous, rapper and actor.

S4

[1:25:14] In the bar, when Owen Wilson orders the double whiskey, the bartender is out of, you know,

[1:25:20] almost out of whiskey in the first bottle.

[1:25:22] And, you know, when you bartend, you just go grab the other bottle.

[1:25:25] This bartender poured a little bit and then went like this.

[1:25:28] He held up the empty bottle and shook it at him and went, hey, I'll be right back.

[1:25:32] And then he goes and gets the other bottle.

[1:25:35] It's just like, no bartender does that.

[1:25:38] The bartender just like goes and grabs the other bottle.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:41] Well, what's so wild is it's like, I mean, you knew you were going to pour that for the movie, right?

[1:25:47] Like it wasn't really plot wise.

[1:25:50] I guess.

[1:25:50] He should have held it up to the light.

[1:25:51] Actually, that would have been great.

[1:25:52] He should have checked.

[1:25:53] Yeah.

[1:25:53] He should have checked that first.

[1:25:55] Yeah.

[1:25:56] I mean, it was a weird scene.

[1:25:58] Yeah.

[1:25:59] Totally.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:59] I mean, like I've seen you at the bar indicate that the bottle is done.

[1:26:08] I don't know that you've shaken it in front of my face, but you're like, hold it up.

[1:26:12] Here's proof.

[1:26:13] Yeah.

[1:26:14] I'm not lying to you.

[1:26:14] Yeah.

[1:26:15] I don't.

[1:26:15] Yeah.

[1:26:15] That's the thing.

[1:26:16] I don't think I would have been like, there was more in there.

[1:26:19] What's Stu trying to pull?

[1:26:21] Yeah.

[1:26:23] Okay.

[1:26:24] This is another letter, guys.

[1:26:25] It's from David, last name withheld.

[1:26:27] Uh-oh.

[1:26:27] Who writes, Dear Elliot, in the recent episode about Tom and Jerry.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:33] Your brother, I want to tell you something.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:37] No, it's not from David, last name withheld, Caitlin.

[1:26:39] It's from David I.

[1:26:42] In the recent episode.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:44] You, but you're Dan.

[1:26:46] You're not David.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:48] I, Dannyus.

[1:26:49] In the recent episode about Tom and Jerry, you explained to us about how meat is also

[1:26:56] a cartoon.

[1:26:57] This made me wonder, is vegan meat in this universe also made to look animated?

[1:27:03] What do you think?

[1:27:05] David, last name withheld.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:07] I want to say yes, because they had such, again, they had such a commitment to every living

[1:27:15] thing that is not a human or a plant in that movie being a cartoon.

[1:27:19] Yeah, I think they, probably the fake meat, they just arranged those, that soy or whatever

[1:27:24] it is to make, or jackfruit to make it look like it's a cartoon.

[1:27:27] Yeah.

[1:27:28] I think they should do that.

[1:27:29] In Tom and Jerry 2, where they get a hold of a vegan food company for some reason.

[1:27:34] Do you guys, do you guys remember that movie?

[1:27:37] Well, it shows how long Dan sits on the letters that referred to the recent episode about Tom

[1:27:41] and Jerry, which was.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:42] It's not a question of sitting on them.

[1:27:45] We get a lot of letters, guys.

[1:27:47] Despite what I said earlier, you know, we're reasonably popular.

[1:27:51] We get a fair number of letters.

[1:27:54] I can't get to them all.

[1:27:55] I'm sorry to everybody who sent in letters that have not been addressed on the show.

[1:28:01] Trust me that it is nothing personal.

[1:28:04] It is either I have gone too long and feel like I can't go back too far in the archives,

[1:28:10] or it's a question maybe that's been asked before, and you should just go back and listen

[1:28:15] to them all over again.

[1:28:17] Drive those numbers up.

[1:28:18] Maybe you'll get your answer there.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:20] Or they're not starting off their letter with a line like, Dan McCoy's the best, or letter

[1:28:25] for Dan.

[1:28:26] How do you get so cute?

[1:28:28] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:30] Dear Dan, who I'd like to have sex with, I have a question for Stuart and Elliot.

[1:28:34] That kind of thing.

[1:28:35] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:28:36] Let's go on to recommendations of movies.

[1:28:41] Why not?

[1:28:41] Hey, why not?

[1:28:42] You know, let's treat ourselves.

[1:28:43] Movies that we saw that we liked.

[1:28:46] I went and saw the Nighthawk Prospect Park had a one night only showing of Near Dark on 35mm.

[1:28:56] Oh, that's a great movie.

[1:28:57] A movie that is still very hard to see.

[1:29:00] I don't know what the rights issues are.

[1:29:02] Use your eyes.

[1:29:03] What?

[1:29:04] Just use your eyes.

[1:29:06] It is a movie.

[1:29:07] Oh, I was using my toes.

[1:29:10] It is a movie that cannot be, I believe, can't be streamed right now, and the DVD is out

[1:29:15] of print.

[1:29:16] But, an early movie by Catherine Bigelow, the first one she directed on her own, I believe.

[1:29:22] She had another one that she co-directed before that.

[1:29:27] Hey, Dan, I got some good news for you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:29] It looks like it might be on Shudder.

[1:29:32] Oh, really?

[1:29:33] Yeah, maybe.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:33] Okay.

[1:29:34] Well, maybe I'm wrong.

[1:29:36] Anyway, it has been historically hard to see.

[1:29:39] And I saw it about 20 years ago and had not seen it in the interim.

[1:29:45] And I think when I was younger, I was expecting the wrong thing out of it.

[1:29:48] I knew it was this beloved new horror classic, very influential vampire movie, kind of changing

[1:29:57] how vampires were always shown in movies.

[1:30:01] Because, like, before that, I mean, it's not solely responsible for this in any way, but

[1:30:05] there was a lot more of kind of the Dracula-style vampire.

[1:30:07] And since then, there's more kind of these living on the margins of society, you know,

[1:30:13] out west vampires.

[1:30:16] Anyway, I think I was expecting something a bit more silly because it's an 80s horror movie.

[1:30:25] And that's kind of what I always liked about 80s horror.

[1:30:27] And maybe a bit more violent.

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:30] Almost like a bright night or something?

Dan McCoy

[1:30:32] Yeah, yeah.

[1:30:33] There's only one really tense scene, and it is very intense in the bar.

[1:30:38] But what it is is much more about a vibe.

[1:30:41] It feels like you're kind of trapped in this dream that is both mundane and fantastic, and

[1:30:48] things get worse and worse.

[1:30:52] And I don't know.

[1:30:53] It's just got a feel, a glow about it.

[1:30:56] An ominous, dreamy, romantic glow that I responded to a lot this time around.

[1:31:03] Liked it a lot.

[1:31:04] Near Dark, Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:07] Yeah, I'm going to recommend a similar, I guess, keeping with a theme of being trapped

[1:31:13] in fantasy worlds or dealing with addiction.

[1:31:15] I'm going to recommend a movie called Oslo, August 31st.

[1:31:19] It is the second movie in the Oslo trilogy by director Jakob Trier, whose recent movie,

[1:31:25] Worst Person in the World, was my favorite movie of last year and is incredible.

[1:31:28] You should go see it.

[1:31:30] Oslo, August 31st, follows one day in the life of a 34-year-old man who is about to get

[1:31:40] out of rehab for drug use.

[1:31:42] And he is given the day to go into town and go to a job interview so that he can transition

[1:31:51] back to life.

[1:31:52] And he tries to kind of rekindle or find some of the threads of his past life.

[1:32:00] And one of the things that I love about this movie and Worst Person in the World is how the

[1:32:07] director is able to capture, at least for me, a very specific, almost like elder millennial

[1:32:13] ennui of not feeling like you don't really have a place in the world or that you haven't

[1:32:19] kind of figured your life out.

[1:32:21] And when you were growing up, you always assumed that when you got older, it would all make

[1:32:26] sense.

[1:32:28] And we follow this character played by Anders Danielson Lai, or Lee, I can't pronounce

[1:32:34] it.

[1:32:34] And he's, yeah, it's great and sad and funny and beautifully shot.

[1:32:41] Highly recommend it.

[1:32:42] It is sad, though.

[1:32:45] But yeah, it's great.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:47] I am going to recommend a movie, too.

[1:32:50] First, though, I'm going to say that that same director that Stuart just talked about,

[1:32:54] a long, long time ago in episode 19, I recommended his movie Reprise, which is also really good.

[1:32:59] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1:33:00] So if you like those other movies that Stuart mentioned, then you should try that, too.

[1:33:04] But I'm going to recommend a movie from 1992, this movie called Swoon, written and directed

[1:33:09] by Tom Kalin.

[1:33:10] No relation.

[1:33:11] Come on, guys.

[1:33:12] Spelled differently.

[1:33:14] And this is a movie about Leopold and Loeb and their relationship in the days leading

[1:33:21] up to and then the years after the murder that they committed.

[1:33:26] And it focuses much more on their relationship and them as two gay men who are drawn into this

[1:33:34] very unhealthy relationship with each other, perhaps because there's no way for them to

[1:33:40] find a healthy relationship because it's the 1920s and they cannot be out and gay.

[1:33:45] But it's told – it's in black and white and it's told in this very kind of like uneasy style

[1:33:52] that's very – both very still and also always feels like something's – something terrible

[1:33:57] is about to happen.

[1:33:58] It feels a little bit like a Guy Madden movie in some ways, which for me is a very high

[1:34:02] compliment because I love Guy Madden's movies.

[1:34:04] Anyway, that's Swoon.

[1:34:06] It's – I thought it was really good, but it's one of those movies that like – it's

[1:34:11] not a like sit back and relax kind of movie.

[1:34:14] It's very much a like – this movie is going to keep poking me and make me kind of think

[1:34:20] about why it's telling me these things and what it's trying to say.

[1:34:23] But I enjoyed it a lot.

[1:34:24] Chuck, what would you like to recommend?

S4

[1:34:25] I got a recommendation, another movie from 1987, Dan, called Five Corners.

[1:34:32] It's a movie I saw in college years ago and I kind of forgot about and I saw it

[1:34:36] again kind of randomly recently and it was written by the great John Patrick Shanley

[1:34:41] and was very under the radar, kind of a small indie about this New York neighborhood in

[1:34:47] the 1960s.

[1:34:48] It's got Jodie Foster and Tim Robbins and John Turturro.

[1:34:52] I don't want to give away too much, but it's kind of a – it's John Patrick Shanley, so

[1:34:57] it's sort of a quirky indie crime sort of plot.

[1:35:02] But it's a movie that tonally is just kind of odd.

[1:35:07] It's like a not quite real world that you're watching, but it's kind of hard to describe.

[1:35:11] But I always like to recommend little-known films and I think Five Corners was kind of

[1:35:17] wildly underseen back then.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:19] That sounds like the kind of movie Dan loves.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:21] You know, I was the one person who kind of liked Wild Mountain Time out of the –

[1:35:26] Oh, that was a great episode.

[1:35:29] Has anyone seen Five Corners?

S4

[1:35:31] No, I haven't seen – I'm not familiar with it at all.

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:33] But I'm going to watch it.

[1:35:35] I'm putting it on my list right now.

[1:35:36] It's on Tubi, it says.

[1:35:38] Pretty interesting.

[1:35:38] So, like –

[1:35:39] Oh, Tubi.

[1:35:40] Tubi Treasure Trove.

[1:35:42] Like every movie I hear about that I want to see, suddenly it turns out it's on Tubi.

[1:35:47] So.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:47] You know, I had the network reach out to see if we could get a Tubi sponsorship.

[1:35:52] And they're like, why the fuck would we do that?

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:54] You're already promoting us.

[1:35:55] Yeah, I know.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:56] I think maybe they don't want to be associated with a podcast about bad movies specifically

[1:36:02] if I had to guess.

[1:36:03] Oh, come on.

[1:36:04] But who knows, you know?

S4

[1:36:05] And also, you know, to the floppers, if you hear these guys, it's a lot of fun hearing

[1:36:09] them talk about the bad movies.

[1:36:11] But if you want to hear them talk about a good movie, Dan was on Movie Crush and he – we

[1:36:15] talked about – had a great discussion about Aliens.

[1:36:17] Dan, you didn't even remember which movie it was.

[1:36:19] I could see it in your face.

[1:36:20] Yeah, you saw my face.

[1:36:22] I was trying to remember.

[1:36:23] Elliot and I talked about taking a poem 1-2-3, which is a lot of fun.

[1:36:26] Yeah, my favorite.

[1:36:27] And Stuart introduced me to the wonderful world of Ricky O.

[1:36:31] Ricky O, story of Ricky, baby.

[1:36:32] Best movie in the world.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:34] So those were a lot of fun.

[1:36:35] I mean, I know you love it, Stu.

[1:36:37] It's a little – I don't know if you can really say it's the best movie in the world.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:41] Oh, weird.

[1:36:41] What metrics do you use, Elliot?

[1:36:43] That's a good point.

[1:36:44] That's a good point.

[1:36:45] It's all relative.

[1:36:46] Yeah, yeah.

[1:36:46] Who liked Bliss?

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:47] Punch someone's head off in the movie you like?

[1:36:50] Yeah.

[1:36:50] That's a fair point.

[1:36:51] Yeah, no one strangles someone with their own intestines in the movies I like.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:56] Well, Chuck, that's great because I was about to ask if you had anything to plug and you

[1:37:02] already started, but is there anything else that you want to highlight?

[1:37:05] No.

S4

[1:37:05] You know, stuff you should know if you want to listen to that show.

[1:37:09] We've been around for a minute and you either like it or you don't.

[1:37:13] How's that for a plug?

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:14] Wow.

[1:37:15] I love the casual arrogance of like, you've heard it.

[1:37:19] You don't need to know.

[1:37:19] At this point, it's entered the lives of all Americans.

[1:37:22] You don't need to.

[1:37:23] It's not new to anybody.

[1:37:24] You don't need to do commercials anymore.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:25] What I like about it is it has a certain amount of lovable goofballness, which if you

[1:37:32] like our show, you probably like, but you also actually learned something unlike our show.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:36] We learned a lot here.

[1:37:37] We learned how to pronounce Lindsay Lohan's name.

[1:37:39] Yeah, and Selma Hayek.

[1:37:41] Selma Hayek.

[1:37:41] Zendaya.

[1:37:43] Yeah, Zendaya.

[1:37:44] And we learned that what was about it.

[1:37:47] What, graduation?

[1:37:48] Yeah.

[1:37:49] How to graduate.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:50] I learned about the three things that brought about the utopia.

[1:37:53] Yeah, three things.

[1:37:53] Our automation, synthetic biology, and asteroid mining.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:56] Yeah.

[1:37:57] So, you know, I guess in Don't Look Up, when they want to mine that asteroid, they're right

[1:38:01] after all.

[1:38:02] You guys haven't seen it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:03] I haven't seen fucking Don't Look Up.

[1:38:05] It's not.

[1:38:06] What is it, nominate for Best Picture?

[1:38:07] It is?

[1:38:08] Oh, what?

[1:38:09] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:10] We may have to get around to that one.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:11] Next thing you're going to tell me, Licorice Pizza is nominated for, what?

[1:38:16] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:17] Hey, I love that movie.

[1:38:19] I was.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:19] Yeah, I like that one.

[1:38:20] I wanted to love it so much, and I started it with real, I was like, yeah, this is going

[1:38:25] to be really good.

[1:38:26] And as it went on, I just liked it less and less, until by the end, I was like, movie,

[1:38:31] I feel like you, I've got to bait and switch with this movie.

[1:38:34] I did not learn what it was like to run a water mattress business.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:38] You're right.

[1:38:38] You're right, Ali.

[1:38:39] It was no bliss, that movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:41] I'm not going to, I mean, I'm not going to say that Bliss is a great movie.

[1:38:44] I got more out of it than I got out of Licorice Pizza, I guess.

[1:38:47] I don't know.

[1:38:47] We're in a pickle, guys.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:49] We are in a pickle.

[1:38:50] Yeah.

[1:38:51] Well, the only way to get out of a pickle.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:53] I guess, I guess, I just, I didn't enjoy it as much as, I guess, I enjoyed it more than

[1:38:57] I enjoyed that Oscar-nominated pedophilia movie, Licorice Pizza.

[1:39:00] But anyway.

[1:39:02] Wait a minute.

[1:39:03] That is a huge overstate movie.

[1:39:06] Wow.

[1:39:07] Somebody put a nickel in Elliot today.

[1:39:09] Jesus.

[1:39:09] Dan, I'm being deliberately combative and prerogative.

[1:39:12] You know it.

[1:39:12] I wanted her brought up on charges.

[1:39:14] You know it, and you love it, Dan.

[1:39:15] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:17] Wow.

[1:39:18] Geez.

[1:39:19] I feel like we had such a clean way out, and then we got drawn back.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:23] Dan, there's no way out.

[1:39:24] Just like there's no way home.

[1:39:25] Spider-Man, no way home.

[1:39:26] In theaters now?

[1:39:27] Is that a sponsor?

[1:39:29] Still is in theaters.

[1:39:29] Yeah, that shit's all over the place, man.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:31] Well, it was the most successful movie during the pandemic.

[1:39:34] It's still in theaters.

[1:39:35] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:35] Is this Elliot's lobbying for Spider-Man, no way home to get nominated for Best Picture?

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:41] I'm just saying, if you want people to watch the Oscars, you've got to nominate only movies

[1:39:45] that already make a lot of money.

[1:39:47] That's what awards are for.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:49] Yeah, awards are to reward the already rewarded.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:52] When a couple years ago, when they were like, the people who make the big budget movies are

[1:39:56] mad that they're not getting rewarded.

[1:39:57] And it's like, you are with the money.

[1:39:59] That's what the money is for.

[1:40:01] You made a choice of what kind of movie you were going to make.

[1:40:05] A movie that people liked, and that's fine.

[1:40:07] That's fine.

[1:40:08] That's totally fine.

[1:40:10] You know what?

[1:40:10] You've got the money.

[1:40:11] Pay someone to make an Oscar for you.

[1:40:13] Just put your name on it.

[1:40:14] Who cares?

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:16] Yeah, it's not like a statue maker's like, no, it's against the statue maker's code to

[1:40:21] replicate somebody's Oscar statue.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:24] They'll kick me out of the craft guild if I do that.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:28] The craft cheese guild.

[1:40:30] This Oscar's made of craft cheese.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:32] A different color gold.

[1:40:34] The only person who was willing to do it was a guy who sculpts craft cheese.

[1:40:37] So all these people, all these movie producers go to him and he goes, another Oscar.

[1:40:41] He goes, this might be kind of a weird thing, but I was wondering if you could sculpt an Oscar

[1:40:45] out of craft cheese.

[1:40:46] Don't worry, you're not the first.

[1:40:49] Do you remember, Dan, were you there when craft sent us a-

[1:40:52] Prepare the mold.

[1:40:53] When at The Daily Show, craft sent us Jon Stewart sculpted, it was like a block with his face

[1:40:59] sculpted into it.

[1:41:00] Oh, wow.

[1:41:01] Yeah.

[1:41:02] And I think they were just desperately trying, I think, to get mentioned on late night shows.

[1:41:05] I think they sent all the late night hosts a block of cheese with their face sculpted

[1:41:08] in it.

[1:41:09] And it was one of the most, one of the strangest things, especially because people then started

[1:41:12] eating it.

Dan McCoy

[1:41:14] Yeah.

[1:41:14] No, it sat downstairs.

[1:41:16] People like carved a few chunks off of it to eat and then got thrown in the trash.

[1:41:21] Yeah.

[1:41:21] But thanks for the cheese craft.

[1:41:26] I guess your plot for more publicity work is just delayed and on a much smaller scale.

[1:41:35] Yeah.

[1:41:35] The Plophouse thanks you for that cheese.

[1:41:37] Years later.

[1:41:39] Okay.

[1:41:40] Well, I guess now we can officially sign off saying, hey, we're part of the MaxFun

[1:41:45] network.

[1:41:46] Go to MaximumFun.org to find other great shows on the network, including one by John Hodgman,

[1:41:56] Chuck Bryant's pal.

[1:41:57] The first time we met Chuck was hanging with Hodgman.

[1:42:01] Yeah.

[1:42:01] Just hanging with Hodgman.

[1:42:03] You know, you can go check out Howl Doughty on Twitter.

[1:42:07] That's our producer, Alex, who we thank for making us sound less dumb, hopefully.

[1:42:15] Hopefully.

[1:42:18] And I guess just thank you for listening.

[1:42:21] For the Plophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:22] I've been Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:24] I've been Elliot Kalin.

[1:42:25] And I've been Chuck Bryant.

[1:42:27] Or have we?

[1:42:29] What?

[1:42:30] What?

[1:42:30] Bliff.

[1:42:33] Is it hot in here?

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:38] Yeah, baby.

[1:42:38] That's why I took my shirt off.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:39] Yeah, that's why Stuart's wearing no sleeves.

[1:42:42] Paid for the whole shirt.

[1:42:43] Only kept the torso.

[1:42:45] I like that Dan was like, let's do the count off.

[1:42:47] And I'm immediately doing something that we don't need.

[1:42:51] That's exactly how I hoped this would go.

[1:42:54] Uh-huh.

[1:42:54] Yeah.

[1:42:55] Alex, keep all this.

[1:42:56] This is brilliant.

[1:42:57] Keep all this.

[1:42:57] Don't really.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:58] Oh, man.

[1:42:58] Don't even save it for the end.

[1:42:59] Just put it right on top.

[1:43:01] So newbies are like, mm, cool.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:03] I'm going to start out with a bang.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:05] MaximumFun.org.

[1:43:07] Comedy and culture.

[1:43:08] Artist owned.

[1:43:10] Audience supported.

Episode #364 - Bliss, with Chuck Bryant

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