FH Mini 56 - Missed That Movie! Night of the Juggler

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] So we were just talking about how the Star Wars TV shows are really making the case that what we thought was a universe of adventure and amazement is actually just roughly 30 people who go to the same two planets over and over again.

Dan McCoy

[0:16] Yeah, yeah.

[0:17] Either we just started the episode or you're filling Alex in on what happened before we sit recording.

Elliott Kalan

[0:23] That's right.

[0:24] Hey, everybody.

[0:25] Welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:26] My name is Ellie Kalen.

[0:27] And tonight I'm going to be taking the wheel of what's going to be a very wild ride.

[0:33] Joining me are Mr. Toad himself, Dan McCoy, and the weasel, Stuart Wellington.

Stuart Wellington

[0:37] That's me.

[0:38] I'm a weasel.

Elliott Kalan

[0:40] Do you like it?

Dan McCoy

[0:41] Holly Shore is here.

[0:43] He's got a bone to pick with you.

[0:45] Oh, shit.

[0:46] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[0:47] Is it the bone that Encino Man was carrying around because he's a caveman?

[0:50] It is the bone.

[0:51] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[0:52] He keeps it as a lucky totem.

Elliott Kalan

[0:55] And normally on the Flophouse, as you know us.

[0:57] Guys, real quick.

Stuart Wellington

[0:58] Was Pauly Shore one of those comedians who got super jacked?

[1:01] Should I be frightened of Pauly Shore?

[1:03] Probably.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04] I don't know, actually.

[1:05] Dan, can you do a Google search for Pauly Shore jacked question mark?

Dan McCoy

[1:09] I don't think so.

[1:10] But I will say that the boss of the thing I'm working at right now, a gentleman that Elliot and I both know, Josh Lee, was talking about how his friend got to know Carrot Top.

[1:22] And my main question was, did your friend know him for the transformation or was it afterwards?

[1:30] And unfortunately, it was afterwards.

[1:31] So I don't know.

[1:32] I have no backstage juice.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34] That seems like the most interesting time to know Carrot Top.

Dan McCoy

[1:37] Well, I want to know what precipitated it.

[1:39] I want to know what he was going through.

[1:41] Oh, I see.

[1:41] That like really got into it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42] Probably like me, your run-of-the-mill midlife crisis.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46] Yeah, although it was around the time I think that Carrot Top was experimenting with props based on gamma radiation.

[1:53] Sure, yeah, yeah.

[1:54] His props are free weights.

[1:59] So anyway, this is the Flophouse.

[2:00] Normally on this podcast, we talk about a bad movie that we've just watched.

[2:04] But did I say normally?

[2:04] I mean half the time.

[2:06] The other half the time, what we call the off weeks, we do these.

[2:09] Flophouse Mini Mannies.

[2:10] It's a Flophouse Mini Manny brought to you by Minnie's Bar and Maniac of New York, as well as the Who Was podcast on our heart radio, co-hosted by me.

[2:17] Hey, kids, don't listen to this podcast.

[2:19] It's not appropriate for you.

[2:20] Listen to the Who Was podcast.

[2:22] Wherever podcasts are available.

[2:24] So joining me again, as I said, are Dan, the D-Man, Decoy.

[2:28] And that's what I said.

[2:29] It was Decoy because I wanted three Ds in a row.

[2:32] Sure, why not?

[2:33] And Stu, the S-Man, Swellington.

[2:36] And we're here to talk about it.

Stuart Wellington

[2:38] I was looking forward to how Elliot was going to introduce me.

[2:41] I was just going to put it.

[2:42] Did not disappoint.

[2:45] Thanks.

[2:45] Yeah, he is swelling by the day.

[2:48] Muscles-wise.

[2:49] If I know anyone who's swelling, it's Stu.

[2:51] And sometimes boner-wise.

[2:53] Okay.

[2:54] Possibly.

[2:54] We don't need to.

Elliott Kalan

[2:54] I haven't seen someone swell like this since Violet Beauregard chewed the wrong piece of gum back at the old Wonka factory.

[3:01] We all know how that turned out.

[3:03] What about the Santa Claus?

[3:03] They fished her body out of the river.

[3:06] So do you think – my younger son is obsessed with Willy Wonka right now.

[3:10] All those kids just had their bodies disposed, right, after Wonka ruined them in the factory?

Dan McCoy

[3:16] I mean, I think the movie and the story, the original Ralph's story.

[3:21] I think they all show up at the end and they're alive and they walk home.

[3:24] Oh, they do?

[3:24] Yeah, yeah.

[3:24] Okay.

[3:25] Because, like, it does play – there are certain ones where you could plausibly think, like, yeah, they survived somehow.

[3:31] Yeah, maybe Augustus.

[3:32] Yeah.

[3:33] They embiggened Mike TV.

[3:36] Oh, Augustus.

[3:37] He's the one that I'm most worried about.

Elliott Kalan

[3:39] Oh, I'm most worried about Veruca since she falls down a pipe that leads to an incinerator.

[3:44] Yeah.

[3:45] I mean, it's possible it's not on today, though.

[3:48] That's true.

[3:48] That's a good point.

[3:49] But anyway, guys, we're not here to talk about Willy Wonka right now.

[3:53] We are here to talk about a movie I watched.

[3:57] Wait a minute.

[3:57] Is this a regular episode of The Flophouse?

[4:00] Yeah.

[4:00] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[4:02] This is a mini-manny, which means it's time for Missed That Movie, the semi-regular mini-segment

[4:08] where one of us tells the other two about a movie we watched, and they decide, did they

[4:12] want to miss the movie?

[4:14] Did they, are they hissing that they missed the movie?

[4:18] I don't remember what our ratings are.

Dan McCoy

[4:19] Yeah, it's true.

[4:20] You're the keeper of these ratings, I think.

Stuart Wellington

[4:23] Was it, we should have missed that movie?

[4:26] Was it, would have missed that movie?

[4:28] Or could have not missed the movie?

Dan McCoy

[4:29] I don't think that's right.

[4:31] I think I'm right.

[4:34] Are you glad you missed it, sad to miss it, or had to not?

[4:38] I missed it.

[4:38] Oh, I see, I see.

[4:39] Hell yeah.

[4:40] And so tonight I'm talking.

Stuart Wellington

[4:41] How do I not remember those incredibly accurate categories?

Elliott Kalan

[4:45] Yeah.

[4:45] I mean, to be fair, they're better categories than spookily scarifying or whatever the.

[4:49] No, those are, those are the made-up ones that Stuart says.

[4:53] For Shocktober.

[4:54] They're all made-up.

[4:56] Yeah, they're all, all movie ratings are made-up, Dan, just like all movies are made-up.

[5:00] There's no naturally occurring organic movie rating system that grows out of the ground.

Dan McCoy

[5:04] What about this movie that I have in a perfect crystal?

[5:07] Oh, okay.

[5:07] I found it growing outside.

[5:11] Oh, cool.

[5:11] It's one of nature's miracles.

Elliott Kalan

[5:13] So, Dan, Stu, maybe you've seen this movie.

[5:16] I don't know.

[5:17] Tonight I'm going to be talking about a film from 1980, Columbia Pictures.

[5:21] The year I was born.

[5:23] The year you were born.

[5:24] Dan, born a different year.

[5:25] Me, also born a different year, but around that time.

[5:27] Cool.

Elliott Kalan

[5:27] Yeah.

[5:28] And it's a film called Night of the Juggler.

[5:32] And this stars.

[5:32] Oh, I haven't seen this.

[5:34] This stars James Brolin.

[5:36] And it is a, it comes out in 1980, but it was shot in 1978.

[5:40] And it is very much a 70s scuzzy New York crime, semi-exploitation, gritty thriller.

[5:49] So, guys, let me tell you a little bit before we get into the plot about Night of the Juggler.

[5:53] Okay.

[5:54] One, there is no juggling in the movie.

[5:57] I'm sorry to break it to you.

[5:59] And on top of that.

[5:59] That's going to be my first question.

[6:01] On top of that, most of the movie takes place during the day.

Stuart Wellington

[6:04] So, it's an incredibly accurate title.

[6:06] Is it like, is it like everybody's looking back on that one night where there was a juggler?

Elliott Kalan

[6:11] No, that would be a movie with a juggler and at nighttime.

[6:14] This is the opposite.

[6:15] There's no juggler and it's during the daytime.

[6:17] You're saying, oh, it's like, it's a, it's a, people are sitting around wistfully remembering

[6:20] the time there was a juggler at night.

[6:22] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[6:22] Yeah, it's the curious case of the juggler in the, in the nighttime.

Stuart Wellington

[6:26] It's like, it's like in People Under the Stairs.

[6:28] I don't remember there actually being a scene where there were any people literally under

[6:33] stairs, but Evil Dead 2 features a lady under the stairs.

[6:37] So, that should be called Person Under the Stairs.

Dan McCoy

[6:40] I'm gonna, I'm gonna make the mildest of objections to you, Stuart, because.

[6:45] I'll allow it.

[6:46] I don't know what it is, but I'll allow it.

[6:47] The reason why this objection is so mild is I'm also basing this on my memory.

[6:52] But I think there were people directly under the stairs and the people under the stairs.

Stuart Wellington

[6:57] Okay, listeners.

[6:58] So, right in.

[6:59] Is Stuart right or is Dan right?

[7:01] Right in.

[7:01] Winner take all.

Dan McCoy

[7:03] If any, if any people.

[7:04] Or if you're the ghost of Wes Craven, haunts the wrong one of us.

[7:07] Yeah.

[7:07] I mean, I would love for him to haunt me.

[7:09] Yeah, man.

[7:10] Proof of life after death.

[7:12] I think, Stuart, you're thinking of.

[7:14] That's why.

Stuart Wellington

[7:16] I was so confident if I saw a ghost.

[7:17] A supernatural phenomenon?

Elliott Kalan

[7:20] Stuart, I think you're thinking.

[7:20] I don't know why everyone's scared of them.

[7:23] Stuart, I think you're thinking of the first Harry Potter movie in which there was a person

[7:26] under the stairs.

[7:27] Harry Potter, who lived under the stairs.

[7:29] Right.

[7:29] Yeah.

[7:29] The main character.

[7:30] Yeah.

[7:31] Yeah.

[7:31] And it was a metaphor for Reagan's poverty programs, I think.

[7:34] Anyway.

[7:34] So, Night of the Juggler.

[7:36] This is, this movie needed two directors.

[7:38] That's how tough it is.

[7:39] It was directed.

[7:40] Oh, like AI?

[7:42] Yes.

[7:42] Well, I mean, AI has one director.

[7:44] It was based on, I guess, the notes that Stanley Kubrick left in between pages of a magazine

[7:48] he was reading on the toilet or something like that.

[7:50] And then Spielberg picked him up at the estate sale.

[7:52] So, it started being directed by Sidney J. Fury, who you know as the director of The Ipkris

[7:57] File, Superman 4, most of the Iron Eagle series, and of course, the Rodney Dangerfield

[8:02] classic, Ladybugs.

[8:04] And he, it's an interesting filmography.

[8:08] I think the original version of Ladybugs had a lot more murder in it.

[8:12] So, he actually was shooting the movie and he left it after a few weeks because James Brolin,

[8:17] it appeared he had broken his foot doing a stunt.

[8:20] And so, Sidney Fury was like, I don't want to do this anymore.

[8:23] And he left and the producers sued him for breach of contract.

[8:26] He didn't come back.

Stuart Wellington

[8:26] Did James Brolin break his foot kicking an Uruk-hai helmet like Viggo Mortensen broke

[8:31] his foot in The Two Towers?

[8:34] No, there's actually no Uruk-hais in this movie as set as it is in late 70s New York.

Elliott Kalan

[8:39] You're not selling this movie to me.

[8:40] Sorry.

[8:41] Anyway, maybe it'll help you to know that it was –

[8:43] Lose two points.

[8:44] Maybe it'll help you to know that the – oh, I got to make up those points on the back

[8:48] end.

[8:48] The man who took over the directing, Robert Butler, directed a previous Flophouse movie,

[8:53] The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes.

[8:55] Oh, okay.

[8:56] He also did a lot of TV.

[8:56] So, a real stylist.

[8:58] And he co-created Remington Steel.

[9:00] So, that's why he's in the Hall of Fame.

Stuart Wellington

[9:02] What's – throw me the quick elevator pitch for Remington Steel.

[9:07] I don't think I recall.

Dan McCoy

[9:08] Remington Steel – oh, you go.

Elliott Kalan

[9:11] So, it's like she's a lady detective, but she thinks people aren't going to take her seriously.

[9:14] So, she hires a guy to play a fake detective.

[9:17] And she's doing the real work.

[9:19] And he's like the – Timothy Dalton is like the suave cover.

Dan McCoy

[9:24] Wait, no, it's Brosnan.

[9:26] It's Pierce Brosnan.

[9:26] Oh, it's Pierce Brosnan.

[9:27] I'm sorry.

[9:27] Yeah.

[9:27] I got my Bonds mixed up.

[9:29] But that's like – yeah, that's kind of the joke of it where they're just like, who seems

[9:34] like a handsome globetrotting man of mystery?

[9:37] Let's get Pierce Brosnan, you know, because he's like so – he was so absurdly like he had

[9:43] that vibe.

[9:44] And then they're like, let's do it for James Bond.

[9:47] And then it was like, no, too much.

[9:48] Too much.

[9:48] James Bond's already that guy.

[9:50] It feels like too much when you put him on that.

Elliott Kalan

[9:53] I think – what they probably said is they said, who could be a king of France?

[9:56] Let's make him remnant and steal.

[9:58] Who'd be like a long-haired king who wants to kill a mermaid in a very loosely sketched

[10:04] out ritual?

Stuart Wellington

[10:05] Who could have a Thomas Crown affair?

Elliott Kalan

[10:08] Steve McQueen?

[10:09] Well, who could have another Thomas Crown affair?

Stuart Wellington

[10:11] Who could deal with Dante's Peak?

Elliott Kalan

[10:15] Who could seduce a British gangster in a public pool in a very small role in the movie The

[10:23] Long Good Friday?

[10:24] Pierce Brosnan, of course.

Dan McCoy

[10:26] Who could be a matador in a sort of a metaphorical way?

[10:30] He's not actually a matador in the movie.

[10:33] Mamma Mia.

[10:34] I've got it.

[10:34] Pierce Brosnan.

Elliott Kalan

[10:36] Because he's in Mamma Mia, too.

[10:38] Anyway, so the screenplay of the movie – let me just tell you a little bit more.

[10:41] We'll get into the movie itself.

[10:42] It was written by two screenwriters.

[10:44] Rick Natkin, who you know best.

[10:45] Dan, for writing your favorite movie, Necessary Roughness.

[10:48] And also –

[10:48] Oh, of course.

Dan McCoy

[10:50] A caviar delivery system?

[10:52] Yeah.

[10:53] I watched that.

[10:54] I'm like, is this roughness necessary?

[10:56] No, but it's hilarious.

[10:58] Dan, the title clearly states the roughness is necessary.

Elliott Kalan

[11:01] You've got to trust that a football with horns knows what's necessary.

Stuart Wellington

[11:05] I watched fucking Major League so many times that when Necessary Roughness came out, I'm like, this is going to hit the same way.

[11:13] And you know what?

[11:13] It fucking didn't.

[11:14] And I was hurt.

Elliott Kalan

[11:16] Oh, that's so sad.

[11:17] Really let you down.

[11:18] That's Unnecessary Roughness on your heart.

[11:20] And the other screenwriter was this guy, William W. Norton.

[11:22] He wrote a lot of Burt Reynolds movies like White Lightning and Gator.

[11:26] And then in the 80s, he went to –

[11:27] Wait, wait.

Dan McCoy

[11:27] Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[11:28] You're telling me that a guy who wrote for Burt Reynolds worked with a guy who wrote Necessary Roughness?

[11:36] How could they get along?

Elliott Kalan

[11:38] Well, it's a good question because Norton seems like kind of a tough character.

[11:41] He went to jail in the 80s for running guns for the Irish National Liberation Army, which was made up of IRA guys who did not like the ceasefire and wanted to keep fighting.

[11:51] And he then moved to Nicaragua and killed a burglar who broke into his house.

[11:55] And he eventually lived in Cuba for a while before sneaking back into the United States.

[11:59] And according to the Wikipedia entry I read about him, he was nervous for years that the FBI was trying to get him until somebody called him up and was like, don't worry about it.

[12:06] No one cares about you.

[12:07] Just live your life.

Stuart Wellington

[12:08] So it sounds like we're talking about some real-life political turmoil.

[12:11] Dan, let's hear your opinions on the Northern Ireland conflict.

Dan McCoy

[12:19] My opinions are uninformed, so I shouldn't give them.

Elliott Kalan

[12:24] So this movie, it's very similar to the movie Kidnap starring Halle Berry, which was another flop house.

Stuart Wellington

[12:31] I believe it was starring an SUV featuring Halle Berry.

[12:35] It was starring like a town and country.

Elliott Kalan

[12:37] That's true.

[12:38] But the movie was shot in 1978, not released until 1980.

[12:42] Let me tell you.

[12:43] So by the time it was coming out, I think New York had – New York was still in the dumps.

[12:48] But it maybe wasn't as super bad as it had been.

[12:50] Let's start.

[12:51] It's New York.

[12:51] We begin with a man sitting next to Central Park waiting for his breakfast to arrive at an outdoor diner.

[12:59] When it arrives, he arranges the food on his plate into a smiley face and then dumps a ketchup bottle on top of it in an act of hostility.

[13:06] Then he gets up and leaves, does not eat it.

[13:08] So you know this guy is nuts.

[13:10] Okay.

[13:11] He has just ruined a perfectly good breakfast.

[13:14] So it turns out this is a crazy guy.

[13:17] He is – and I use crazy not in a medical or diagnostic term, just to describe a loosely sketched character in a 70s semi-exploitation movie.

[13:30] So he is staking out Central Park hoping to kidnap a rich girl on her way to school.

[13:36] And the kidnapper is played by Cliff Gorman who is an actor who won a Tony for playing Lenny Bruce in the play Lenny, which makes a lot of sense with his performance here because he's kind of playing what if Lenny was a madman as opposed to a self-destructive comedian.

[13:49] And you'll be interested in OSTU.

[13:51] He was in the original off-Broadway cast of The Boys in the Band.

[13:55] Oh, no shit.

[13:57] Anyway, I don't know why you'd be interested to know that.

[13:59] Then we're introduced to the main character, James Brolin.

[14:02] He's an ex-cop turned trucker.

[14:04] And he's one of these movie characters who's kind of a screw-up, but everyone in the neighborhood knows him and likes him.

[14:08] And he just wears jeans and a button-down flannel shirt.

[14:11] And he's got a beard.

[14:12] So you know he's super cool.

[14:13] He's down to earth.

[14:15] His ex-wife wants to take their daughter to live with her and her new husband in Connecticut.

[14:19] He doesn't like that.

[14:20] No, got to stay in the big city.

[14:21] It's a real over-the-top type scenario.

[14:23] It's his daughter's birthday, and he just returned home from a long-haul run.

[14:27] Which leads me to wonder, who was she staying with during this time?

[14:30] Because he just goes to his apartment and she's there.

[14:33] She's just a kid.

[14:34] But it's her birthday, so he brought her some hot dogs.

[14:35] I mean, this was the 70s.

[14:37] It was different back then.

[14:39] It was different back then.

[14:40] Back then, he brought her some hot dogs and tickets to the ballet.

[14:43] And she's basically, she's about 13, but somehow she keeps talking about how she's on a diet.

[14:47] And he's like, okay, let's jog to school then.

[14:49] And it's a weird, it's very weird how much this character is talking about her diet in the beginning.

[14:53] And does he go jogging in jeans?

[14:56] You know it.

[14:56] He wears the same.

[14:57] Hell yeah.

[14:58] He got right off that truck in the same sweaty, ratty clothes and then wore them for the rest of the movie.

[15:04] Never changed it.

Stuart Wellington

[15:05] I got to say, dudes that go to the gym and work out in jeans and Timberlands, man, fucking A, that's some energy right there.

[15:14] Dudes that are doing full squats and everything in a pair of jeans, how are you doing this?

Dan McCoy

[15:19] I mean, the jeans, yeah, certainly not in a pair of jeans with a good fit.

[15:26] I can see you doing squats in jeans that you shouldn't be wearing.

[15:31] You know what I mean?

[15:32] Well, there's just too much space going on.

Stuart Wellington

[15:35] Is it because they're turned around like crisscross?

Dan McCoy

[15:38] I'll tell you something.

[15:40] I spaced out earlier.

[15:43] Did you say that there's no juggling in this movie?

[15:45] There's no juggling in the movie, Dan.

[15:46] Ugh, man.

Elliott Kalan

[15:47] So in case you thought he was a homicidal juggler who juggled knives, that's not what happens.

[15:53] Oh, but there is a Mandy Patinkin.

[15:56] Don't jump ahead, Dan.

[15:57] Why are you doing research on the movie I'm supposed to present it, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[15:59] I'm not, no plot.

[16:01] I just, I see the cast.

[16:03] Okay, we're about to get to Mandy Patinkin.

Elliott Kalan

[16:04] So they're jogging to school.

[16:05] The kidnapper sees them, assumes that this girl is the rich daughter, that he's the rich person's daughter that he's trying to kidnap, and grabs her.

[16:13] And James Brolin, he just chases after.

[16:16] And I'm not quite sure why this guy, I mean, this guy is unhinged.

[16:19] He sees a girl in overalls jogging with a man who looks like a bum.

[16:24] And he's like, she must be rich.

[16:26] Time to pick her up.

[16:27] That must be her valet, her Batman that escorts her to school.

[16:33] And Brolin chases them, and there's a long chase sequence where he's chasing after the car.

[16:39] He almost manages to pull her out of the kidnapper's car.

[16:41] He jumps into a cab driven by Mandy Patinkin, who is playing a Puerto Rican character, or a character of some Latin, Hispanic derivation.

[16:51] And he's really going on up.

Dan McCoy

[16:53] As he is in The Princess Bride.

Elliott Kalan

[16:55] But The Princess Bride, he's playing a Spaniard in The Princess Bride.

[16:58] But The Princess Bride is such a storybook fairytale fantasy, whereas this is supposed to be greedy New York.

[17:05] It's like the king's daughter.

[17:06] Yeah.

[17:06] And you kind of wonder, you know they could have found an actual Puerto Rican person to play, or Cuban or Dominican, whatever ethnicity he's supposed to be.

[17:15] But instead they go with Mandy Patinkin, and he is really hamming it up.

[17:18] He hamms it up like crazy.

[17:19] And James Rowland goes, that guy kidnapped my daughter.

[17:22] And he goes, get in the car.

[17:23] And they just drive.

[17:24] And he keeps talking about how he should beat that.

[17:25] He's like so totally on board with James Rowland chasing and beating up this guy right away.

[17:31] And he's like, oh, he must be a white guy.

[17:33] These perverts are always white guys.

[17:34] And he gives James Rowland a tire ironer, and it tells him to go beat the shit out of the kidnapper.

[17:38] And so anyway, this is a long chase.

[17:41] The kidnapper manages to escape, pulls the daughter onto the subway.

[17:43] Brolin jumps the turnstiles to follow them and gets arrested on the other end as if someone's like,

[17:49] we got a jumper.

[17:50] Radio ahead.

[17:51] As if in New York in the 70s, they're really putting APBs out for turnstile jumpers.

[17:57] Sorry, guys.

[17:58] I was having trouble with my microphone for a moment.

[18:00] I hope that was, Alex, I hope that wasn't affecting anything before then.

[18:02] But now it seems to be doing fine.

[18:04] Pure gold.

[18:05] Perfect.

[18:06] Sorry.

[18:07] Uh-oh.

[18:07] Yeah, a lot of things were going crazy in the 70s.

[18:10] People were jumping out of movie screens.

[18:12] There's some in Times Square.

[18:12] There was a cricket in Central Park or something like that.

[18:15] Anyway, it was nuts.

[18:15] There was a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.

[18:19] Yeah, that was one of the signs of New York's real collapse when that Connecticut Yankee showed up in King Arthur's Court.

[18:24] Yeah, and there was also a kid in King Arthur's Court.

[18:26] There was so much going on in King Arthur's Court.

[18:27] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[18:28] And there's a kid who would be king?

Elliott Kalan

[18:30] Yeah, there's a kid who would be king.

[18:31] There was a rookie of the year.

[18:33] Cyclical.

[18:33] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[18:34] There was a Disney's The Kid?

Elliott Kalan

[18:36] It was so-

[18:37] Yeah.

[18:37] Well, there were angels in the outfield.

[18:39] I know about that.

[18:40] Yeah.

[18:40] It was a rough time.

[18:41] It was a rough time for New York.

[18:43] So anyway, then we get a little comedy scene with a police lieutenant.

[18:47] This police lieutenant, he's played by Richard Castellano.

[18:49] He's famous as Take the Cannoli Clemenza from The Godfather.

[18:53] And he's really stressed out.

[18:55] He's planning his daughter's wedding because cops in the movies, on the worst crime day, it's always their daughter's wedding or birthday or something like that.

[19:03] It's their anniversary.

[19:04] They got to get home for her.

[19:05] He stops into a health food yogurt store and he's like, what you got here?

[19:09] Let me see.

[19:10] My son-in-law, he's gone to invest in his yogurt business, chocolate.

[19:14] You can't do anything wrong with chocolate.

[19:15] Hey, this is pretty good.

[19:16] How do you make it?

[19:17] And the guy's like, yeah, well, you take the milk and you ferment it and the microbes have got to be in there.

[19:21] And he goes, microbes?

[19:23] Blah.

[19:23] Forget about it.

[19:24] And walks out.

[19:25] Anyway, that's the yogurt scene.

[19:26] That's the famous yogurt scene.

[19:27] It sounds like a great scene, actually.

Dan McCoy

[19:31] Now, so this – yeah, I wanted to ask about this.

[19:34] You called it a health food yogurt store.

[19:36] Yeah, it's health food yogurt.

[19:37] Is it – I mean, is it fully just yogurt though?

[19:41] Is that the one item that is sold in the store?

[19:43] No, no.

[19:43] I think they have other stuff.

[19:44] But yogurt is their signature dish.

Elliott Kalan

[19:47] You know, this was back at a time when yogurt was not yet a thing everybody was eating.

[19:51] This is like yogurt is to the 70s as sushi was to the 80s where it was like if you're rich in a movie, you're eating sushi and everyone else thinks it's weird.

Stuart Wellington

[20:00] Or like hummus in the 90s.

Elliott Kalan

[20:02] Yes, exactly.

[20:03] Hummus in the 90s.

[20:04] What was it in the 2000s, Dan?

[20:05] You're on the food scene.

[20:07] Yeah, you're a food guy.

Dan McCoy

[20:09] You're a food guy.

[20:10] Creme fraiche.

[20:11] Yeah, you're –

[20:12] Yeah, ramps.

[20:14] I do remember when everyone was talking about ramps for some reason.

[20:16] Do you remember there was –

[20:17] Couldn't stop.

Stuart Wellington

[20:18] Like ramps in guanciale.

[20:20] Like come on, get out of here.

Elliott Kalan

[20:21] There was this episode of Top Chef –

[20:23] I mean, that sounds delicious.

[20:24] This episode of Top Chef.

[20:24] Yeah, it sounds amazing.

[20:25] It's a perfect combo.

[20:26] They were at the Union Square Farmer's Market and they go, they have ramps?

[20:29] They have ramps here?

[20:30] And all the chefs are going crazy about ramps.

[20:31] And me and my wife were like, what are ramps?

[20:33] Like what is this?

[20:34] We had to look them up.

[20:35] It was like, oh, it's a green.

[20:36] Okay, that's all it is.

Stuart Wellington

[20:38] I'm looking up ramps and it just keeps giving me screenshots of skate or die.

Elliott Kalan

[20:43] And then ride or die, Dan McCoy, the website.

[20:47] Yeah.

[20:48] So anyway, that's the famous yogurt scene.

[20:50] Anyway, we're going to see more of that lieutenant later.

[20:52] He's one of our – he's the speaks truth to power guy on the force, I guess.

[20:57] Anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[20:58] Do we see the yogurt shop anymore?

Elliott Kalan

[21:00] No, the yogurt shop never comes back.

[21:02] That's it.

[21:02] Okay.

[21:02] I just wanted to clear that up.

[21:04] Stuart's favorite character has left.

[21:06] Yeah, sorry.

[21:06] There's no more yogurt.

[21:07] There's no juggler.

[21:08] There's only one scene of yogurt.

[21:09] So I apologize for that.

[21:11] So the kidnapper, he takes Brolin's daughter to his neighborhood, which is this burned out

[21:15] part of the South Bronx.

[21:16] It's full of wreckage.

[21:17] And he explains his reasoning behind this, which is that he is super racist and is just

[21:22] throwing around a lot of cancelable language.

[21:24] And he's blaming everything on minorities being shipped into his neighborhood by rich people

[21:28] so they can destroy the neighborhood and then buy up the buildings.

[21:31] It's real great replacement theory stuff.

[21:33] It's really horrible.

[21:33] Does he at least do it in like a song, like in West Side Story?

[21:37] No, it's not a song so much as a rant as he drags a girl through the real vacant, burned

[21:42] down lots of the South Bronx.

[21:43] And there's something about these scenes that is, it really gets across, maybe it's just

[21:49] one block that they were on that they filmed all the shots on.

[21:52] I don't really know how badly torn apart that area was at the time outside of the fiction

[21:56] of the movies that have led me to believe that it was just Bronx warriors all the time.

[22:00] But it really looks like they're in the middle of the apocalypse, that they're just walking

[22:04] through lots of rubble and things like that.

[22:07] And it makes me think, you know what, New York?

[22:11] I'm glad that you're not like that anymore.

[22:12] I love you, but you're bringing me down.

[22:14] No, I'm glad that you're not full of vacant lots full of rubble.

[22:16] As hard as it is to live there now.

[22:18] And it's too expensive.

[22:18] And the buildings they put up nowadays are, let's face it, ugly.

[22:21] They look like a combination of either college dorms or the Fortress of Solitude.

[22:26] And there's that whole Hudson Yards thing.

[22:28] Don't even start on that.

[22:29] Anyway, you know what?

[22:30] Forget about it.

Stuart Wellington

[22:31] Yeah, you'd prefer unchecked gentrification as opposed to, you know, a blasted landscape

[22:36] run by street gangs.

[22:38] And they can only be stopped by one man.

[22:41] Doll Man, played by Tim Thomerson.

Dan McCoy

[22:43] A pint-sized intergalactic cop with a giant gun.

Stuart Wellington

[22:46] Is that what Doll Man is about?

[22:48] Here's the thing.

Elliott Kalan

[22:49] I mean, that's the first one.

[22:50] The second one is versus the demonic toys.

[22:52] But there was, I mean, we all remember the headlines when it said, Ford to Doll Man, drop

[22:57] dead.

[22:58] And Doll Man was the only thing standing between New York and total collapse.

[23:01] But you know what?

[23:02] In thinking about some of the new buildings they've been putting up, I kind of turned around

[23:06] on it.

[23:06] So you know what?

[23:07] If it means they don't build any more of that big, like, you know, the vessel, the thing

[23:12] at the Hudson Yards that looks like a hollow beehive, you know what?

[23:16] Let's tear parts of the city down.

[23:17] If it means no more of those.

[23:18] Because I'm not a fan of that.

Dan McCoy

[23:19] Or those buildings where, like, the windows are all different colors.

[23:23] I don't like those ones.

[23:23] Oh, well, that sounds pretty.

[23:24] I haven't seen any of those.

[23:25] You mean like a church?

[23:27] Well, yeah, I'm talking about stained glass, Stuart.

[23:31] Beautiful stained glass.

[23:32] I hate it.

[23:34] No, there's like weird...

[23:36] Trying to impress me with the majesty of God.

[23:38] There's like these...

[23:39] There's a couple of skyscrapers that look kind of like 80s trapper keepers.

[23:44] Cool.

Elliott Kalan

[23:45] Do they have a lot of, like...

[23:46] They have a lot of, like, neon squiggles and dinosaurs with sunglasses on them?

[23:51] Yeah.

[23:52] I love that shit.

[23:53] And chicken nuggets on roller skates.

[23:54] Chicken nuggets on roller skates.

[23:56] Yeah.

[23:56] Danny just described the coolest building in the world.

[23:58] Yeah.

[24:01] Sounds great.

[24:02] Now I love...

[24:02] You know what, Danny?

[24:03] You turned me around.

[24:04] Now I like gentrified New York again.

[24:05] This has been a real roller coaster.

[24:06] Anyway, he kidnapped...

[24:09] It turns out he kidnapped this girl because he thought she was the daughter of a rich real

[24:12] estate developer.

[24:12] And he's going to ask her dad for a million dollars.

[24:16] He takes her to his home after casually killing somebody.

[24:20] And he talks for a long time about how great his mom and dad were.

[24:23] And he plays with this vicious looking dog who never really enters.

[24:26] He plays into the story.

[24:27] And later he dresses up the daughter in his mom's old dress.

Stuart Wellington

[24:29] Real quick, real quick.

[24:30] You said vicious looking dog.

[24:32] Do you mean that the dog looks like Vicious, the character from Cowboy Bebop?

[24:35] I mean, he looks like Sid Vicious.

Elliott Kalan

[24:37] He's got, like, a safety pin through the ear.

[24:42] And he's thinking my way.

[24:44] Yeah.

[24:45] All that stuff.

[24:46] And he's heading toward an early death.

[24:49] Yeah, exactly.

[24:50] So this guy, he's turning out to be a real creep.

[24:55] Dan?

[24:56] Maybe this is a good place.

[24:57] Speaking of creeps.

[24:58] Dan, would you like to be creepy and introduce the ad for today?

Dan McCoy

[25:04] Okay.

[25:04] I guess I will.

[25:05] Why not?

[25:06] Hey, guys.

[25:07] Have you heard of microdosing?

[25:09] You heard about this?

[25:10] Yes.

[25:10] I'm going to pull out.

[25:11] You have.

[25:12] Okay.

[25:12] This isn't creepy at all.

[25:12] This is an important message for America's youth.

Elliott Kalan

[25:15] Dan, please tell us more.

Dan McCoy

[25:16] I'll put this newspaper away with the headline story.

[25:20] Microdosing colon awesome.

[25:22] You've probably heard about microdosing.

[25:23] What newspaper was that?

[25:24] Microdosing.

[25:27] High Times Daily?

[25:28] Certainly not high.

[25:30] Yeah, exactly.

[25:31] Hey, you've probably heard about microdosing.

[25:34] If you search around a bit on the internet, you'll find all sorts of people are microdosing to feel healthier and perform better.

[25:40] You don't have to search that hard.

[25:41] There's a thing called Google.

[25:43] You can use that.

[25:44] Dan, what's this an ad for?

[25:45] Stay on target.

[25:46] All over the place.

[25:48] Hey, our show today is sponsored by microdose gummies.

[25:51] Microdose gummies deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good.

[25:58] If you've been wondering, hey, is THC right for me?

[26:02] What's the entry level?

[26:03] Where can I get in on this?

[26:04] Where's the ground floor?

[26:06] These deliver the entry-level doses that you crave.

[26:11] Look, I've talked about it before.

[26:13] Pandemic's been hard on me, as it has on a lot of people.

[26:16] A lot easier on me than many people, so I'm not complaining.

[26:20] But it's a stressful time.

[26:22] And in a stressful time, it's been pleasant to have something that just shaves off that edge that grinds against your psychology.

[26:37] Perfect metaphor.

[26:38] That makes you feel anxious and tired and worried all the time.

[26:45] Maybe a microdose could help you with that.

[26:48] It has helped me.

[26:49] It's available nationwide.

[26:51] To learn more about microdosing THC, you can just do a quick search online.

[26:55] Hey, that's in the copy.

[26:57] That's not me telling people to Google it.

[26:58] That's right in the copy.

[27:00] Or go to microdose.com.

[27:03] Microdose.com.

[27:04] I sort of stumbled, so I wanted to say it again, clearer, and use code FLOP, F-L-O-P, to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.

[27:14] Links can be found in the show description.

[27:16] But again, that is microdose.com and code FLOP.

S4

[27:25] Um, hi, I'm looking for a movie.

[27:27] Oh, I gotcha.

[27:28] Uh, there's that new foreign film with the time travel.

Dan McCoy

[27:30] There's an amazing documentary about queer history on streaming.

[27:33] Have I told you about this classic where giant robots fight?

[27:37] Or there's that one that most critics hated, but I thought was actually pretty good.

S4

[27:40] Ooh, I know.

[27:41] The one with the huge car chase, and then there's that scene where-

[27:44] The car jumps over the submarine.

[27:46] Wow, who are you eclectic movie experts?

[27:49] Well, I'm Evie Wadiwe.

Stuart Wellington

[27:50] I'm Drea Clark.

[27:51] And I'm Alonzo Duralde.

[27:52] And together, we host the movie podcast Maximum Film.

S4

[27:56] New episodes every week on MaximumFun.org.

Dan McCoy

[27:58] And you actually just walked into our recording booth.

S4

[28:01] Oh, weird.

[28:02] Sorry.

[28:02] I thought this was a video store.

[28:04] You seem like a lady with a lot of problems.

S5

[28:09] Do you sometimes wonder whatever happened to the kids at your school who really loved Star Trek?

S6

[28:13] You might remember a kid like me, the one who read the Star Trek novels and built starship models.

[28:19] I also took music classes to avoid taking gym classes that required showering after,

[28:23] but I don't see what that really has to do with-

S5

[28:25] Or a kid like me.

[28:26] I introduced myself to kids at my summer camp one year as Wesley.

[28:30] But when the school year started and some of those kids were in my new class,

[28:33] I actually had to explain to my friends that I had tried to take on the identity of my favorite Star Trek character.

[28:39] The shame haunts me to this day.

S6

[28:40] I'm sure some of those Star Trek fans from your childhood grew up to have interesting and productive lives,

[28:46] but we ended up being podcasters.

S5

[28:49] On The Greatest Discovery, you'll hear what happens to two lifelong Star Trek fans who didn't grow up to be great people,

[28:55] they just grew up to be people who love jokes as much as they love Trek.

S6

[28:58] So listen to our new episodes every week on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

[29:05] Thanks.

Elliott Kalan

[29:06] Let's get back to the chase.

[29:07] Literally, because during that big chase earlier, James Brolin saw the kidnapper drop something outside of a porno theater in Times Square.

[29:15] It's 70s New York.

[29:16] You can't escape going to a peep show in Times Square.

[29:19] So that's what he does.

[29:20] He goes there.

[29:20] You can't escape it.

[29:21] You can't escape it.

[29:22] You try.

[29:22] That's what Escape from New York is about.

[29:24] Snake Plissken is like, I don't want to go to that.

[29:25] I think they're gross, but he has to go there.

Stuart Wellington

[29:27] And you're like, well, you have such a suggestive name, sir.

Elliott Kalan

[29:30] But Ernest Borgnine drives them straight to one.

[29:33] Hey, buddy, I know a place where you're going to have a good time.

[29:35] And he's like, I don't want to go here.

[29:36] I'm Snake.

[29:37] Yeah, a guy named Snake and Plissken.

[29:39] I don't know what it means, but sounds doity.

[29:41] Anyway, go on in.

[29:42] I'm Ernest Borgnine.

[29:44] Academy Award winner.

[29:45] I'm driving a cab in this prison city.

[29:47] It's me, Marty.

[29:48] It's me, Marty.

[29:50] And then Michael J. Fox goes, me?

[29:51] And he goes, no, no, no.

[29:52] That's a different Marty.

[29:54] Yeah, it's very confusing.

[29:56] When two characters from different movies made 30 years apart have the same name.

[30:00] It's very confusing.

[30:00] Ahead of its time.

[30:01] So he goes to theater.

[30:02] He has to get a bunch of – he has to find –

Stuart Wellington

[30:04] Do you think when they're making Back to the Future, they're like,

[30:06] are you sure we should call him Marty?

[30:08] Because there was a character also named Marty 30 years ago.

Elliott Kalan

[30:12] It's an Academy Award winning film by that very name.

[30:14] When people say, Marty, they're going to remember that movie.

[30:16] Remember it won an Academy Award and leave immediately to go see that movie.

Dan McCoy

[30:22] Thankfully, they locked all the doors to the theaters.

[30:25] Big fire hazard.

[30:26] Could have turned out badly, but you know.

[30:28] You just assumed the whole audience is Gremlins, right?

[30:31] In case everyone enjoyed Back to the Future.

Elliott Kalan

[30:32] Yeah.

[30:34] That's what I always assumed.

[30:35] Yeah.

[30:35] That's why I go to so few movies because I'm like, oh, it's going to be full of Gremlins.

[30:39] Wait a minute.

[30:39] That would be great.

[30:40] I should go.

[30:40] Yeah.

[30:41] Yeah, yeah.

[30:42] When they're tearing you apart, you're like, thank God.

[30:46] How I wanted to go.

[30:47] So he saw a dancer outside of this theater pick up something that the kidnapper dropped.

[30:53] So he goes there.

[30:54] There's only one way to find this dancer.

[30:55] He's got to cash in his dollar for quarters and pump them into the peep show window.

[31:01] And this is kind of a farcical scene where every time he puts in a quarter and the steel door goes up to reveal the window into the room where naked women are just kind of hanging around talking to Johns on the phone, the wrong dancer keeps coming up to him.

[31:16] And he's going, no, her over there.

[31:18] Her over there.

[31:18] And then the door goes down.

[31:19] And he puts another quarter and a different dancer comes by.

[31:22] This James Brolin.

[31:23] He just can't catch a break.

[31:24] First, his daughter gets kidnapped by a psychopath.

[31:27] And then he just can't get the right woman's attention.

[31:30] That sounds tough.

[31:31] He breaks into the room.

[31:32] And here's one of the problems with James Brolin in this movie.

[31:35] He rarely says things like, my daughter was kidnapped.

[31:37] I need your help.

[31:38] He goes up to the, he keeps saying to the strippers, my little girl's been taken.

[31:42] My little girl.

[31:43] And they're like, I'll be your little girl.

[31:45] And it's like, just say daughter.

[31:46] There's a word for it.

[31:47] There's a word everyone knows that means the child that you are the dad of who's a girl.

[31:51] It's daughter.

[31:52] Just use that one.

Dan McCoy

[31:52] Well, the original screenplay was written by Abbott and Costello.

[31:57] Abbott and Costello.

[31:58] They're a lot more misunderstanding.

[31:59] I guess that makes sense.

Elliott Kalan

[32:00] Yeah.

[32:00] Because by this point, Abbott and Costello were too old to perform.

[32:03] So they were instead, they were ghostwriting comedy routines for thriller movies.

Dan McCoy

[32:07] Yeah.

[32:07] And there would be scenes where someone was in the strip club where someone would be stripped

[32:11] behind Costello.

[32:14] And he'd be going.

Elliott Kalan

[32:16] For those that don't know, Dan's pointing behind him.

Dan McCoy

[32:19] And he's, it sounds.

Elliott Kalan

[32:19] He wanted Abbott to turn around.

[32:21] He's too scared of the stripper.

[32:23] He's too scared of the stripper.

[32:24] Yeah, I get it.

[32:25] But Dan, Dan, it sounded like he was just hissing like a cat.

[32:28] It sounded like I was hissing.

[32:29] Yeah, I turned into a cat person.

[32:31] Or a snake person.

[32:32] Or a snake person.

[32:33] Well, that's like in that movie.

[32:34] Abbott and Costello meet the cat people.

[32:36] Where Abbott turns into one of the cat people.

Stuart Wellington

[32:40] Written by Paul Schrader, right?

[32:42] Yep.

[32:43] Yeah.

[32:44] So here's the funny thing.

[32:45] Right after heartbeats.

Dan McCoy

[32:46] It's one of the first times when your Paul Schrader references have made sense, Stuart.

[32:52] Boom, mean Uncle Paul.

[32:55] Wait, so he's your uncle.

Elliott Kalan

[32:57] Yeah, mean Uncle Paul.

[32:58] Fucking paid off.

[33:01] I just, I want, someday I want someone to miss, I want this to get out there.

[33:05] It's that in Paul Schrader's obituary it said, like, after writing Taxi Driver and directing movies like Blue Collar and American Gigolo,

[33:13] he took a turn to comedy for heartbeats before returning back for films like First Reformed.

Dan McCoy

[33:20] There's some terrible editorial cartoon that's like, his heart is beeping in heaven now.

Elliott Kalan

[33:28] I thought, I wasn't even going to be that imaginative.

[33:30] I thought he was just at the pearly gates and St. Peter goes, welcome in, Mr. Schrader.

[33:33] I loved heartbeats.

[33:34] Yeah.

[33:35] Exactly.

[33:36] So, that's one of Stuart's urban legends.

[33:38] You can trace it right back to Stuart, that Paul Schrader made heartbeats.

[33:42] Anyway, he finally, uh...

Stuart Wellington

[33:43] You know this fucking dude, you know that dude is going to be fucking around on Facebook one of these days and come across this shit.

[33:49] And he's going to be, he's going to be so mad he'll close the browser where he's getting kicked out of an online poker game.

Elliott Kalan

[33:55] So, James Brolin, he breaks into the room where the dancers are and he gets beaten up by the bouncers, but the dancer he just wanted to talk to gives him what the kidnapper dropped.

[34:07] It's some sort of a dog medal.

[34:08] Meanwhile, the kidnapper, he calls the mom of the rich girl he thinks he's kidnapped.

[34:12] What's a dog medal?

[34:14] You know, like a dog tag.

[34:15] Oh, okay.

[34:15] But I think they call it a dog medal in the movie.

[34:19] Because of copyright or something?

[34:21] Yeah, because dog tags is a trademark.

Dan McCoy

[34:25] Yeah.

[34:25] I mean, well, dog medal just sounds like an award that you got for being the best dog.

[34:30] For best dog.

[34:30] Or saving other dogs in combat or whatever, you know.

Elliott Kalan

[34:34] Or it sounds like a super cool wrestler name, Dog Metal.

Stuart Wellington

[34:38] Dog Metal sounds pretty cool, dude.

[34:40] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[34:41] So, Dog Metal is a strain of metal music in which they just have dog sounds instead of guitar.

[34:48] Uh-huh.

Stuart Wellington

[34:49] That already sounds, wait, there's no guitar at all?

[34:52] No guitar at all.

[34:53] They just use dogs for both melody and harmony?

[34:55] Yes.

[34:55] Okay, let's do it.

Elliott Kalan

[34:56] It's different dogs.

[34:57] There's lead dog and there's bass dog.

[34:58] And instead of drums, it's cats.

[35:04] Wow.

[35:04] Yeah.

[35:05] And you'll never guess what the lead singer is.

Stuart Wellington

[35:08] I guess if I'll – should I guess?

[35:10] Are you waiting for me to guess?

[35:11] You'll never guess.

[35:12] Just try it.

[35:12] You'll never guess.

[35:14] Is it Sebastian Bach from Skid Row?

[35:18] Oh, you guessed it.

[35:19] Okay, yeah, it is Sebastian Bach from Skid Row.

Elliott Kalan

[35:21] I said you'd never guess it, but it was the first one you guessed.

[35:23] Yeah, you know, I'm good at games.

[35:25] Yeah, so Sebastian Bach from Skid Row.

[35:27] He was on Broadway for a little while and then he started up a new project called Dog Metal.

[35:31] It's him and some dogs and cats.

[35:32] He was also in Gilmore Girls, obviously.

[35:35] Obviously.

Dan McCoy

[35:36] He was in fucking Gilmore Girls.

[35:37] I'm not making that up.

[35:38] No, but your use of the term obviously.

[35:42] No, he was part of Lane's band.

Stuart Wellington

[35:44] I say obviously because I know that there's a lot of fans of Stars Hollow listening to this podcast right now.

[35:49] And they're like, duh, Ellie, why didn't you talk about Sebastian Bach being Gilmore Girls earlier?

[35:53] You're right.

[35:54] They're all fans of the GGs and Paris and the rest of the gang.

[36:00] None of the dudes.

[36:00] There are no good dudes in that show.

Elliott Kalan

[36:02] Even I know that.

[36:03] I know that.

[36:04] I don't even watch the show regularly.

[36:06] Okay, I've only seen a few episodes.

[36:07] Okay, so the kidnapper calls the rich girl's mom and is like, hey, give me a million dollars or I'll start chopping up your daughter and sending her to you in pieces.

[36:13] The mom is justifiably confused because her daughter is right there in the room with her.

[36:17] But she still calls the police because that's still a scary call to get, even if this person doesn't have your daughter.

[36:23] James Brolin, at this point, I was not taking notes while watching the movie, so I reconstructed this afterwards.

[36:29] That's someone he's taken to the hospital and a sympathetic cop kind of lets him leave to go get his daughter.

[36:35] But just as he is escaping incognito, a doctor goes out.

[36:39] His name is Boyd.

[36:40] A doctor goes out, Mr. Boyd, I found the cane that you asked for.

[36:43] And the cops arrest him again.

Stuart Wellington

[36:45] Now, this takes place in New York, so Mr. Boyd is a bird, right?

Elliott Kalan

[36:50] Yeah.

[36:51] That's a good point.

[36:52] I need to think of that.

[36:52] Yeah, yeah.

[36:52] His name is probably Bird, but they're calling him Boyd.

[36:55] Mr. Boyd.

[36:55] Yeah.

[36:56] And yeah, he's teamed up with a woman named Goyle.

[36:58] Yeah.

[37:00] Sure.

[37:02] And for some reason, they call Harry Styles, Harry Stoyles.

[37:05] Oh, I get it.

[37:07] You know what that makes sense?

[37:07] It's getting anachronistic, but it's getting great.

[37:09] So I guess what this also means is that Popeye Doyle in French Connection, his real name is Popeye Dural.

[37:14] Mm-hmm.

[37:15] Yeah.

[37:15] Okay.

[37:15] We're all learning something.

[37:17] Yeah.

[37:18] And when they're saying that food is spoiled, they're really saying that it's spurled.

[37:24] Which I'm, you know, I don't know what that means, but.

[37:28] We'll never find out.

[37:29] So here's the thing.

[37:31] He goes to this, he gets booked to this police station.

[37:33] Who happens to be there?

Dan McCoy

[37:34] Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[37:36] To spurl something out is to cause a chaotic or messy source to flow out in an outpouring.

[37:42] So.

[37:43] Accurate.

[37:44] You know.

[37:45] Yeah.

[37:45] If it's spurled, apparently just dropped it on the floor maybe.

[37:48] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[37:48] Well, I mean, that'll ruin some food.

[37:50] Like if you're holding an egg.

[37:52] Yeah.

[37:53] The five second rule doesn't work for eggs.

[37:55] Just don't even try.

[37:56] Don't scoop.

[37:57] Don't scrape it up.

Dan McCoy

[37:58] I mean, if it's a hard boiled egg and, you know, the shell's still relatively intact.

[38:02] You're right.

[38:02] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[38:02] Just dust it off and scarf down an egg, you know.

[38:05] Treat yourself.

Dan McCoy

[38:07] Treat yourself to an egg.

[38:10] Just like the egg council says.

[38:12] Yeah.

[38:12] The egg council says treat yourself.

[38:14] Hey, America, treat yourself to an egg.

Stuart Wellington

[38:15] The shell's brought to you by eggs.

Dan McCoy

[38:17] Treat yourself to a sweet treat, an egg.

[38:23] Hey.

[38:23] The yolk's not.

[38:24] The white's not much, but the yolk's a nice egg.

[38:28] You've earned it.

[38:28] Surprise.

[38:29] You had a hard day today.

Elliott Kalan

[38:30] You had to take the subway.

[38:32] It was super crowded.

[38:33] Bad day at work.

[38:34] And then your significant other dumped you.

[38:37] Hey, take the edge off.

Stuart Wellington

[38:42] Yeah, yeah.

[38:43] The pandemic.

[38:44] Political turmoil.

[38:46] War.

[38:47] Why don't you have an egg?

Elliott Kalan

[38:49] I imagine a commercial with the egg council where someone is, you know, there's all this

[38:52] bad stuff and then someone turns off the news and goes, ah, and then just opens up a carton

[38:57] of eggs and smiles.

[38:59] You've never let me down.

Stuart Wellington

[39:01] Pulls a hard boiled egg out of their pocket.

[39:05] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[39:05] Because they keep, because, because, because they're on hobo.

Stuart Wellington

[39:08] That's still a rapper, idiot.

Dan McCoy

[39:18] And it's a, and there's a narrator that just goes, eggs in good times.

[39:22] They just seem to go together.

Elliott Kalan

[39:24] Now, here's the other commercial.

[39:25] Okay.

[39:26] Based on that rapper, Stuart.

[39:28] So, someone, they go, oh, I have some candy in my pocket.

[39:30] And they pull it out and it's all sticky and covered in lint.

[39:33] And he goes, oh.

[39:34] And the next egg pulls out a hard boiled egg from his body and goes, it has its own wrapper,

[39:38] dummy.

[39:39] And then just flakes the shell off, leaving little pieces of eggshell all over the floor of the

[39:44] theater.

[39:44] You're going to be so hungry.

Dan McCoy

[39:46] And it's Kirk Cameron is the thing.

[39:49] He's like, an egg, a hard boiled egg comes in its own wrapper.

Elliott Kalan

[39:51] This is, this is, this proves, proof of intelligent design that if you cook an egg, it has a shell

[39:57] still.

[39:59] That God created.

[40:00] The shell doesn't cook away.

[40:01] God in his infinite wisdom knew that we would figure out that you boil these.

[40:07] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[40:07] Kirk Cameron.

[40:08] God had a plan and that was us figuring out how to boil eggs.

[40:12] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[40:14] Okay.

[40:15] Anyway.

[40:15] So anyway, he gets this police station.

[40:16] Who does he run into?

[40:18] Uh-oh.

[40:18] It's his ex-partner, Dan Hedaya, a crooked cop whose life Boyd ruined when he reported him

[40:25] for doing corrupt things.

[40:26] Hedaya's like, oh, my family hates me and all that stuff.

[40:29] He takes him to an interrogation room and gets ready to beat him up, which is silly.

[40:33] James Brolin is so much bigger than Dan Hedaya.

[40:36] The idea that Dan Hedaya is going to be able to take him is bonkers.

[40:39] He's got like a vibe, you know?

[40:41] I guess that's true.

[40:44] He's got the vibe of the dad in Clueless.

[40:46] Yeah, but he's like young.

Stuart Wellington

[40:48] Like, what did he look like when he was not the dad in Clueless?

[40:50] He looked almost exactly the same.

[40:52] Where his eyebrows still enormous?

Elliott Kalan

[40:52] Yeah, this is like, this is about 15 years before he's the dad in Clueless and he looks

[40:57] pretty much the same.

[40:58] Yeah.

[40:58] So, James Brolin beats him up and runs away.

[41:02] Now he's wanted for beating up a cop.

[41:04] Here is maybe the most amazing scene in the movie.

[41:06] Doesn't change his clothes though, right?

[41:08] He's still wearing a plaid shirt and jeans.

[41:11] Same clothes.

[41:12] He doesn't think to disguise himself, shave off his beard.

[41:14] He's not exactly Harrison Ford in The Fugitive, you know?

[41:17] Where Harrison Ford is like, the police are after me.

[41:19] I have a beard.

[41:20] Let me shave it off.

[41:21] It'll totally, it'll surprise them.

[41:23] They're looking for a man with a beard.

[41:25] They don't know that beards are removable.

Stuart Wellington

[41:27] Police are after me.

[41:28] I will put a plastic green hat on my head and walk around the St. Patrick's Day parade.

Elliott Kalan

[41:33] Yeah, yeah, that works too.

[41:34] They think I'm not Irish, so this will confuse them.

[41:38] So, do you realize Kirk Cameron, he also said, he goes,

[41:40] intelligent design shows that God knew we might have to run from the police at some point.

[41:44] So, he gave men facial hair that can be removed to create two different looks in instant disguise.

Dan McCoy

[41:50] Beards are not permanent.

[41:52] I'm sorry, I'm looking at Dan Hedaya's.

[41:55] You know, filmography.

[41:57] I'm wondering, other than The Craft, or not The Craft, sorry.

[42:01] Other than Clueless.

[42:02] He was one of the four craft ladies?

Elliott Kalan

[42:06] I don't know why I said The Craft.

[42:08] Other than Clueless.

[42:08] That is, no, it does suggest an interesting, different version of Clueless,

[42:12] where instead of Alicia Silverstone making over Brittany Murphy,

[42:15] Brittany Murphy introduces Alicia Silverstone to magic.

Dan McCoy

[42:18] I think it's because I was scrolling by The Crew, which is a movie he's in.

[42:23] Oh.

[42:24] Other than Clueless, has he played just like a nice, a regular nice dude?

[42:30] Yeah, like Bloodstained Man.

[42:32] Yeah.

[42:34] The nicest.

[42:36] I mean, I just like, you know, he's great at what he does.

[42:39] I just, I pity the poor man.

[42:40] Even if what he does isn't pretty.

[42:42] Like, he's just like, I guess my thing is I play real creeps all the time.

[42:48] Yeah, it's called having a tour here, Dan.

[42:50] It's a fucking living, buddy.

[42:52] Yeah, yeah.

[42:52] Yeah, come on.

[42:52] Yeah, I guess so.

[42:53] I mean, yeah, no, to be a character actor who plays creeps all the time,

[42:57] that would be pretty fun.

[42:57] Living the dream.

[42:58] Yeah, I admit.

Elliott Kalan

[42:59] And boy, what a creep he is, because he chases after James Brolin

[43:02] into the streets with a shotgun in his hands,

[43:04] and he's just blasting away at him in real New York City streets.

[43:08] And James Brolin is just ducking under cars and stuff,

[43:10] and people are running and screaming.

[43:12] It's not really clear that the extras know this is a movie.

[43:16] It's very possible they just had Dan Hedaya blasting away

[43:19] with a shotgun full of blanks and then had windows rigged to explode.

[43:23] And it is, this scene is, it's just,

[43:25] it's the most over-the-top scene in the whole movie to me

[43:28] because it's super intense, and you're like,

[43:30] there is no way that no one's going to get hurt.

[43:32] He's just chasing after him out in the middle of the day.

[43:35] Again, it's just set during the day,

[43:36] even though the movie's called Night of the Juggler.

[43:37] It should be called Day of the Juggler,

[43:38] and actually it should be called Day of the Guy

[43:40] Who Wears a Plaid Shirt because there's no jugglers in it.

[43:43] It's just, it's an amazing scene.

[43:45] I mean, Day of the Kidnapper seems more accurate.

[43:49] Yeah, I mean, that's what,

[43:49] and later on they refer to him as the Mole Man.

[43:52] So they could have called it Day of the Mole Man.

[43:54] Okay.

[43:54] Yeah.

[43:55] Yeah, they should have.

[43:56] Anyway, that police lieutenant played by Clemenza,

[43:59] he is wiretapping calls from the kidnapper,

[44:03] but he gets the kidnapper paranoid

[44:05] because the guy who's running the tracer on the call

[44:08] makes a lot of noise for some reason.

[44:09] He like knocks over a pile of videotapes or something.

[44:12] And now the kidnapper doesn't trust anybody.

[44:14] Boyd, he's got this dog tag,

[44:15] this dog medal for heroic service in protection of dogs.

[44:19] He takes it to the animal control offices in the city

[44:21] because he wants to look up the owner's name and address,

[44:24] and he gets helped by a beautiful young woman

[44:26] played by Julie Carman,

[44:28] who you will know, of course,

[44:29] as the female lead in In the Mouth of Madness.

[44:31] And she decides,

[44:32] kind of just by looking at James Brolin's eyes,

[44:36] she decides he's a good man and she's going to help him.

[44:38] And she becomes his kind of sidekick

[44:40] through most of the rest of the movie

[44:41] until she kind of disappears at a certain point.

[44:44] Probably to go read some Sutter Cain.

[44:46] Yeah, she gets her job as an editor editing Sutter Cain,

[44:50] and things went downhill from there.

[44:52] So they find the name of the guy.

[44:54] His name is Gus Soltik,

[44:55] and he lives up in the South Bronx.

[44:56] She goes, oh, that's near where my neighborhood is.

[44:58] It's bad.

[44:59] You should come with me.

[45:00] And they bond on the subway up there.

[45:03] She's clearly, I guess, supposed to be attracted to him,

[45:05] but the movie does not have them build a romance

[45:08] within minutes of meeting, really.

[45:10] So I give the movie credit for that.

[45:12] Unlike the movie Brain Smasher,

[45:14] a love story in which Terry Hatcher falls for Andrew Dice Clay

[45:19] within like 40 minutes of knowing him.

[45:22] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[45:23] She sees how good he is at smashing brains.

Elliott Kalan

[45:25] Yeah, it's hard to find a good man.

[45:27] All the good men who smash brains are either gay or taken.

[45:29] So you got to jump on the one that's there.

[45:32] Dan, when you smash brains, how does that pay?

[45:34] Is that a good job?

[45:35] Do you get benefits?

Dan McCoy

[45:37] How does it pay?

[45:37] I mean, it's on commission is the weird thing.

Elliott Kalan

[45:40] Okay, how does that work?

[45:41] Explain, please.

Dan McCoy

[45:43] Well, you got to find someone who will pay you to smash a brain.

[45:47] Well, that's not commission.

[45:48] That's a salary position.

[45:49] You take a cut of all the brains you can smash.

[45:53] I don't understand.

Elliott Kalan

[45:56] I mean, if it works, it works.

[45:58] I'm not an economist.

[45:58] I don't need to know how brain smashing functions.

[46:01] If Elliot can't understand it, maybe his brains aren't even smashed.

[46:05] Oh, it's possible.

Dan McCoy

[46:05] It just sounds like gibberish.

Elliott Kalan

[46:07] So anyway, the kidnapper goes, I want you to leave a million dollars for me in this parks

[46:11] department structure.

[46:12] It's right next to where a big outdoor rock concert is being set up.

[46:15] And the other cops are like, he'll show up and we'll just shoot him with snipers in the

[46:19] middle of this crowded rock concert.

[46:21] And Richard Castellano was like, that's a terrible idea.

[46:24] But he said he leaves a cop to wait in the shadows of the room where the money is going to be.

[46:28] Boyd and Maria get uptown and it's like, you know what?

[46:31] This movie is set in kind of scuzzy New York.

[46:33] It's from the 70s.

[46:34] The movie hasn't been, it hasn't shown us like kind of a racist caricature of a street gang.

[46:40] We've seen a racist caricature of a taxi cab driver, but not so much of a street gang.

[46:44] Well, here they are.

[46:45] It's time for them to show up.

[46:46] And they're mad at James Brolin because they think he's stealing one of their women.

[46:49] And they chase after him and he runs away and eventually finds the location of

[46:54] Stoltik, who the locals call the Mole Man.

[46:56] He gets there just as Stoltik as taking his daughter out to go to the money handoff.

[46:59] And Boyd starts chasing him through the rubble of the South Bronx.

[47:02] But then that street gang shows up.

[47:03] There are roughly 500 members of the street gang and they all try to kill Boyd.

[47:07] And he's just fighting them off like crazy until the police show up and start arresting everybody.

[47:12] And Boyd, even though he is wanted for assaulting a police officer, getting into a fight in a

[47:18] porn theater, also jumping the turnstile, maybe the worst, because when he does that,

[47:22] he's stealing from everybody.

[47:23] By stealing the fare that he owes to the MTA, he's stealing from everybody who uses the

[47:28] subway.

[47:28] Wow, you've been talking to your buddy Eric Adams, huh?

[47:31] Anyway, so Eric Adams and I met at this Bitcoin convention and he had a lot of interesting

[47:35] things to say about crime prevention.

[47:37] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[47:39] He told you to check inside the walls of your kids' rooms and see if there's any contraband.

[47:45] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[47:45] So with Eric, it's been so liberating being in Los Angeles and not in New York that I don't

[47:50] really keep tabs of Eric Adams.

[47:51] And it's nice having a different mayor here that I can dislike as opposed to the mayor of

[47:55] New York.

[47:57] Dislike and be disappointed in.

[47:58] And we have a mayoral election coming up.

[48:00] The primary is going on right now.

[48:02] Today is the primary election day.

[48:03] I already mailed in my ballot last week.

[48:06] Yeah, you were saying you can't wait for Caruso to win, right?

[48:08] I was saying what I really want is I want this.

[48:11] I thought it was David Caruso.

[48:13] That's the thing.

[48:13] That's why I voted for him because I thought he was going to deliver the state of the city

[48:16] address with sunglasses on and then take them off and put them on when he had puns.

[48:20] No.

[48:21] Stuart's right.

[48:21] I really want the city to be run like a weird outdoor mall that feels like the village from

[48:26] The Prisoner.

[48:27] So anyway, just kidding.

[48:29] I didn't vote for Caruso.

[48:31] So anyway, Boyd says on the radio, hey, this guy, Saltik, he works in the city tunnels.

[48:37] This is something that we learned that I didn't bring up until now.

[48:39] He's going to use the tunnel system to get to where the money is.

[48:42] He's not going to go above ground.

[48:43] Yeah, that's why they call him the mole man.

[48:45] And so now the kidnapper is on the train to the way the concert is going to be.

[48:49] He's super creepy.

[48:50] He starts telling Boyd's daughter that he's getting the money so the two of them can run

[48:54] off and live together in love.

[48:55] It's really gross.

[48:56] It's terrible.

[48:58] The kidnapper gets the handoff area, almost immediately shoots the cop who's lying in

[49:02] wait form there.

[49:03] And this is it.

[49:04] Boyd shows up and it is time for him to take down this kidnapper.

[49:07] Uh-oh.

[49:08] The kidnapper runs into the maintenance tunnels of the city.

[49:11] This is where he's at his strongest.

[49:12] And he uses every trap he can think of.

[49:14] He's releasing steam.

[49:16] There's something with electricity.

[49:17] It goes on forever.

[49:18] And I was watching this movie on YouTube because it's not that easy to get a hold of otherwise.

[49:23] And the visuals were a little blurry and also dark.

[49:26] So it's kind of hard to tell what was going on during the roughly nine minutes straight

[49:30] of them fighting in the subways.

[49:32] It was, to be fair, the movie lost a lot of momentum because it was-

[49:35] So you missed the Ninja Turtles coming in and-

[49:38] Yep.

[49:39] Wondering where their pizza was.

[49:41] Yeah.

[49:41] I have to assume that's what happened.

[49:43] So you think the Ninja Turtles are foolish enough that they just tell the pizza guy, come

[49:48] to the sewers and then they're just sitting around baffled by the fact that the pizza has not

[49:52] arrived?

Dan McCoy

[49:52] Well, if the first movie is any indication, they tell them to go to like a certain address

[49:59] and like a half or a quarter or whatever it is.

[50:04] And then they're like, hey, look down here.

[50:06] And yeah.

[50:09] If I recall, also they don't tip him because he's a little late, which is pretty shitty.

[50:15] That's not fair.

[50:15] That's fucked up, dude.

[50:16] Michelangelo's part.

Stuart Wellington

[50:16] Those Turtles, they're real Ayn Rand.

[50:18] Well, it's because they've never had to work a service job before, you know?

[50:22] Yeah.

[50:23] No, no.

[50:23] They've got it pretty sweet.

Elliott Kalan

[50:24] Just ninjas.

[50:25] Well, that's a skilled laborer job.

[50:29] Yeah.

[50:30] Have you guys ever had this happen to you?

[50:31] This happened to me once at my credit card company.

[50:32] I was so impressed.

[50:33] That's why I'm sticking with them.

[50:35] Their fraud prevention alert system.

[50:37] They saw that I had paid for a pizza party for a number of kids.

[50:41] I'd bought 10 or 11 pizzas.

[50:42] And they just wanted to check and make sure that a Ninja Turtle had not stolen my credit

[50:45] card.

[50:45] And I really appreciated that they did that.

Stuart Wellington

[50:48] It was great.

[50:48] Well, because they saw the topics listed and it was ice cream and anchovies and just like

[50:55] kernels of corn for some reason.

[50:57] And you're like, this is popular in Europe, but not here.

Dan McCoy

[51:00] They got algorithms to pick up that sort of thing.

[51:03] When a Ninja Turtle tries to order pizza.

Elliott Kalan

[51:05] Yeah, it happens.

[51:06] Done.

[51:07] And they suggest movies to them that they want to watch.

[51:09] I know that's what algorithms do.

[51:11] Yeah.

[51:12] Anyway.

[51:13] Do you think there's...

Stuart Wellington

[51:14] And they combat LeBron James in the Toon World or whatever, right?

[51:19] Mm-hmm.

[51:20] Did that happen?

[51:21] Oh, algorithms.

[51:22] Algae rhythms.

Elliott Kalan

[51:22] I thought you meant Ninja Turtles.

[51:23] I was like, I don't remember Ninja Turtles and Space Jam.

[51:26] Algae rhythms do that.

[51:28] Yeah.

[51:29] What a movie.

[51:29] That Space Jam movie.

[51:30] It was on the airplane recently that we were on.

[51:35] My son was like, oh, Space Jam.

[51:36] Should I watch that?

[51:37] And I was like, why?

[51:38] We already have an HBO Max subscription.

[51:40] Like, you don't need a great advertisement for that.

[51:42] But look, it's the nuns from the devils.

Dan McCoy

[51:43] You don't have to be on a plane for this, Sammy.

Elliott Kalan

[51:46] He was pointing out all the Easter eggs.

[51:48] He was going, there's baby Jane.

[51:50] Betty Davis herself.

[51:52] It's my friends, the droogs.

[51:54] Yeah.

[51:55] Droogs.

[51:56] All my favorite characters.

[51:58] Yeah.

[51:59] So, the nuns from the devils.

[52:02] I mean, it's almost worth it.

[52:04] The movie exists just for that being in there.

[52:08] There's Malcolm McDowell as Caligula right behind LeBron James.

[52:13] Anyway.

[52:13] We're hanging out with the mask.

[52:16] So, the fight goes on forever.

[52:20] Eventually, Brolin defeats him.

[52:21] I couldn't tell if he kills him or not.

[52:23] The movie, like I said, it gets really dark here.

[52:24] Boyd takes his daughter back up to the surface and she says,

[52:27] I still don't want to move to Connecticut.

[52:29] And he goes, you're just like your old man.

[52:31] And then I guess they go off and watch that rock concert

[52:33] as honored guests of the police department.

Stuart Wellington

[52:36] Now, what do you think would have happened in the Space Jam movie

[52:38] if the mask had lost his magical mask

[52:42] and then Caligula had picked it up and put it on?

[52:44] Do you think he'd still say smoking and somebody stop me and shit like that?

[52:48] Yeah, but he'd say it in Latin.

Dan McCoy

[52:50] You might say smoking.

[52:51] I don't think Caligula was worried about someone stopping him.

[52:56] It's kind of the point of the story is that he wasn't worried about that.

[52:58] He did what, yeah.

[52:59] Yeah.

[53:00] I mean, he certainly wouldn't encourage anyone to stop him.

Elliott Kalan

[53:05] Maybe he would dare them to stop him.

[53:07] Maybe that's part of the fantasy.

[53:09] Try to stop the great Caligula.

[53:10] When he dressed up in a suit suit and then made his horse a senator.

[53:14] Yeah, that's –

[53:15] Yeah, yeah.

[53:16] What else?

[53:17] I wonder what else mask Caligula would do.

[53:19] I wish I remembered more of what happens in the movie The Mask.

Stuart Wellington

[53:22] Well, he would probably lead his army on an invasion of England

[53:24] and then just pick up some stones and then go home, right?

Elliott Kalan

[53:27] Oh, they were like seashells, right?

[53:28] He just picked up seashells.

[53:29] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[53:29] So here's the thing.

[53:30] I've heard conflicting explanations of that story.

[53:32] One is that he had gone mad and he thought that he had defeated the sea

[53:36] and the other was that he was so disappointed in his army that he was like,

[53:40] you know what?

[53:41] We're going to go fight the sea.

[53:42] Pick up some seashells.

[53:43] That's our treasure.

[53:44] You guys did a great job.

[53:45] That was kind of sarcastic.

[53:47] There's a lot of Caligula stories that might have been –

[53:49] like when he made his horse a senator, he might have been like just insulting the other senators.

[53:54] See, I would have figured –

[53:55] Not actually doing it for realsies.

Dan McCoy

[53:57] The point of it was that he got to England and he's like,

[54:00] this is the beaches you have?

[54:02] Ah, yeah, yeah.

[54:02] These are your beaches?

Elliott Kalan

[54:04] It's just rocks.

[54:06] Rocks and shells.

[54:08] Let's go home, guys.

[54:09] Why did I come here?

[54:09] Italy has great beaches.

[54:11] What am I doing here?

Stuart Wellington

[54:12] Everybody here vacations in Spain.

Elliott Kalan

[54:18] Anyway, so who else –

[54:19] I forgot.

[54:20] Who else –

[54:20] What other characters were in the background of Space Jam?

[54:24] What other great –

[54:24] Warner Brothers properties?

[54:27] What other great characters from history?

[54:29] Yeah, what if the Iron Giant got a hold of that mask, huh?

[54:32] Or what if Caligula got a hold of the Iron Giant?

[54:35] Oh, boy.

[54:35] That would be trouble.

[54:38] So much trouble.

[54:40] So now this, of course, is retconning Caligula as a Warner Brothers release, which, of course, it wasn't.

Stuart Wellington

[54:46] Yeah, the CEO of Warner Brothers, Bob Guccione.

Elliott Kalan

[54:50] Yeah, Bob Guccione sold it.

[54:53] It was a big mistake when they appointed Bob Guccione head of Warner Brothers, and suddenly all the Looney Tunes characters were just golden showering each other.

[54:59] It's the future of animation.

[55:00] Yeah, yeah.

[55:01] Trust me.

[55:01] Iron Giant's famous line, I am not a senator.

[55:05] Anyway, so that's Night of the Juggler.

[55:08] Here's what I'm going to tell you about this movie.

[55:09] It is not as classy as your Taking a Pelham 123s or your Dog Day Afternoonses, but it's also not quite as gross as some of the real exploitation-y movies made in New York at the time.

[55:21] It's kind of betwixt and between, and as a result, it's kind of a little too rough for fun and not quite intense enough for making you feel bad fun, like when you watch an exploitation movie and you feel bad afterwards.

[55:36] But guys, here's the question.

[55:38] Are you glad you missed your movie?

[55:40] Are you sad you missed the movie?

[55:42] Or do you have to unmiss the movie?

[55:44] Is that what it was?

[55:46] Yes.

[55:46] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[55:49] I'll say that once you started talking about it and the title sunk in with the plot together, I realized that this is a movie that I had heard about before on the Pure Cinema podcast, which is a good podcast about a lot of genre movies.

[56:07] What's it about?

[56:08] Like cooking?

[56:11] It's often genre movies, not always, but also often little scene movies.

[56:19] And I would say that, you know, I would criticize it for sometimes being the kind of thing where they recommend something just because they're such movie lovers that they want to recommend something obscure and new and perhaps overvalue the novelty of it.

[56:38] But then again, that's my whole letterboxed diary is me giving maybe one star too many to various things because they're on the outskirts and I find it interesting for some obscure reason.

[56:54] So anyway, the whole point is I was already kind of interested in it.

[56:59] So I would say I had to not miss it, which is that I will look it up at some point.

Stuart Wellington

[57:06] Stuart?

[57:07] I feel that Elliot's description, while exciting, which I having heard Elliot describe many movies over the years, you have a talent for it, sir.

[57:19] I also can tell that I don't think I would enjoy watching the movie as much as I enjoyed listening to you describe it to me.

Elliott Kalan

[57:27] I think it is.

[57:28] I would, to be fair, I think it is a movie that is probably more fun to hear about or read about than it is to actually watch.

[57:36] So I'm going to say I'm glad I missed it because there's only so many kernels of sand in this hourglass, baby.

[57:44] Would it change your thinking at all if I mentioned that the father of the rich girl who is not kidnapped is played by Marco St. John, who as Wikipedia describes, is known for his role as the horny truck driver in Thelma and Louise.

[57:58] So you can kind of imagine that it's the same character who lost his real estate riches and became a truck driver and then had his truck blown up.

[58:06] Would that help?

Stuart Wellington

[58:07] I will say I do want to go and find the scene where Dan Hedaya is just blasting shit with a shotgun somewhere on YouTube, maybe.

Elliott Kalan

[58:17] That scene is definitely worth watching.

[58:20] He's just going bananas with a shotgun and it's very scary.

[58:27] It's a very scary scene because you're like, I kind of believe Dan Hedaya did this for real and they just had to write it into the movie.

[58:33] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[58:35] Okay.

[58:36] Well, thanks for enlivening our life with another movie that we have missed.

Elliott Kalan

[58:42] No problem.

[58:43] Guys, I was so glad to share it with you.

[58:45] And listeners, I was even more glad to share it with you.

[58:47] As always, I should say this more often.

[58:48] I apologize for anything I said during this podcast that was either insulting or unfunny.

[58:54] So please.

[58:55] Oh, we can just do that?

[58:56] Yeah.

[58:56] Well, I'm doing it now.

[58:57] Oh, that's how you put your foot.

[58:59] I'll apologize.

[58:59] You make sure that your foot's on base.

Dan McCoy

[59:01] Exactly.

[59:02] I'll apologize for much of my life then.

[59:05] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[59:05] Okay.

[59:06] That's good.

[59:06] We can do that.

[59:07] But this is the end of another Miss That Movie Mini Manny episode of the Flophouse Podcast.

[59:14] I've been Elliot Kalin and joining me on this tour through the torrid underbelly of 70s New York has been...

[59:23] Me, Dan McCoy.

[59:25] And me, Stuart Wellington.

[59:28] We'll be back next week with a regular episode where we talk about a more recent movie that all of us have seen.

[59:34] Stay tuned.

[59:35] It's going to be...

[59:36] Probably like this, but slightly more structured.

[59:39] No, it's not going to be Stay Tuned.

[59:41] Or maybe...

[59:41] No, maybe it will be.

[59:42] Stay Tuned starring the late John Ritter.

[59:44] Sure.

[59:44] No, it's not going to be Stay Tuned, everybody.

[59:46] But stay tuned to this podcast, which will not be about Stay Tuned, next week on The Flophouse.

[59:55] Thanks to everyone at Maximum Fun, our network.

[59:56] Thanks to our editor-producer, Alex Smith.

[1:00:00] And thanks to you.

[1:00:01] Good night.

S7

[1:00:14] Thank you.

FH Mini 56 - Missed That Movie! Night of the Juggler

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