FH Mini 57 - The House House

Dan McCoy

[0:00] Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse. Before we get started, I'm just going to turn it over

[0:08] to Elliot real quick. Hey, Flophouse listeners. Hey, I know your ears love hearing us. Wouldn't

Elliott Kalan

[0:14] your eyes love seeing us and your mouths and noses love breathing in the air that surrounds

[0:19] us? You bet they would. That's why we're going to be in person for the first time in

[0:23] like two years, August 7th at our old stomping grounds, The Bell House in Brooklyn, New York.

[0:28] That's August 7th. It's a Sunday, 7.30 p.m. because we're old people. Doors open at 6.30

[0:34] p.m. Tickets are available right now. Go to thebellhausny.com. And for this special event,

[0:39] we need a special movie to talk about. That's right, we're talking about the film of the

[0:42] summer, the movie that has taken the nation by storm, The Morbius. The title's not The

[0:48] Morbius, it's just Morbius. Anyway, let's pretend I just said Morbius. We're going to be talking

[0:51] Morbius, that's right. Ahem, quoting meme as if an old man who's still cool. It's Morbin

[0:57] time. So everybody, listen to the meme. It will be Morbin time, August 7th at The Bell House.

[1:04] Go to thebellhausny.com. Look it up on the calendar. Get tickets, August 7th, 7.30 p.m.

[1:09] Us in person, in front of your very eyes. And now, back to Dan McCoy for your regularly scheduled

Dan McCoy

[1:16] Flophouse Mini.

[1:17] Hey, everyone. Yeah, this is a Flophouse Mini. So, you might be familiar with the Flophouse,

[1:21] the hit podcast, the three of us all host.

[1:24] I hope so if you're listening to it, you're soaking in it.

[1:27] You watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Well, this is what we do in the off weeks

[1:32] where we don't watch a bad movie. We just kind of freeform it. And I'm in charge tonight.

Stuart Wellington

[1:38] To mixed results, certainly. What's a mixed result? The quality of our minis are mixed results.

[1:46] Yeah. Dan, can we just freeform it, you know? When we're just spitballed.

Elliott Kalan

[1:49] Well, speaking of freeform, Dan, can I hijack the mini again to talk, tell a real life true

[1:53] story of something that happened to me today that was a real emotional rollercoaster?

Dan McCoy

[1:57] Yeah, let's do that shit. We're not using tape anymore. We can burn as much time as we want.

Stuart Wellington

[2:02] If this involves you playing poorly at the video game, what is it, Rollercoaster Tycoon,

[2:09] that would be a true emotional rollercoaster for me.

Elliott Kalan

[2:12] It would be, with my emotions. Yeah. Today, I learned for the first time, which I had never

[2:18] realized before, that the We Get Letters song that Paul Schafer would perform on the David Letterman

[2:23] show actually originated on the Perry Como show. And I said, hold on, I got to see this.

[2:28] I look up We Got Letters song Perry Como, up comes a YouTube video, and one of the comments

[2:33] on the YouTube video from seven years ago says, Elliot Kalin, the early years. And I was like,

[2:39] what? This is amazing. And there's two replies to it. Let me see what the replies is. And so I'm like,

[2:44] at first I learned that this song goes back decades earlier than I thought. I thought it was a Paul

[2:47] Schafer original, and it's not. He's just a liar who stole it. Then I go to find the video,

[2:53] and there's actually a reference to me in one of the comments. What's this reply going to be?

[2:56] Something about what a great guy I am? First reply, who is Elliot Kalin? And then I came

[3:01] crashing right back down. Turns out I'm not the hot stuff I thought I was.

Stuart Wellington

[3:04] From user Danielle Kalin.

Elliott Kalan

[3:08] What?

[3:11] So anyway, that was just a little emotional rollercoaster today as I was shocked to learn

[3:15] Paul Schafer didn't write that song, then shocked to see my own name attached to the clip

[3:18] on YouTube, then write it again by seeing that I'm not famous.

Dan McCoy

[3:23] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[3:24] Sand kicked in your face.

[3:28] Digital sand.

[3:29] Digi sand, they call it.

Dan McCoy

[3:30] All is fleeting.

[3:31] All glory.

[3:32] And everything else.

[3:34] Hey, so this is a-

Elliott Kalan

[3:36] Certainly sick transit.

[3:37] Gloria.

[3:38] Gloria.

Dan McCoy

[3:39] Oh, wow.

[3:42] That also goes back to Perry Como.

[3:44] Weird.

Stuart Wellington

[3:44] I think, Elliot, I think it's time for the kids to rediscover you like they rediscovered

[3:50] Kate Bush.

[3:52] And you are going to be the-

Dan McCoy

[3:53] Finally.

[3:54] Finally.

[3:55] You're going to be so excited.

[3:57] The dulcet tones of Elliot will be the ones saving Max from the dastardly mind flare from

[4:05] the underground.

[4:05] Oh, no.

[4:06] I mean, it's Vector.

[4:07] I mean, he's an under-

[4:08] I mean, he's an under-

[4:08] God, but-

[4:09] I don't know.

[4:10] I forget.

[4:10] Like, I love-

[4:12] I actually really like Stranger Things.

[4:14] I know a lot of people-

[4:15] I think you and I are simpatico on this, Stuart, where it's like, yeah, we get it.

[4:19] A lot of people are tired of the 80s nostalgia, but I still enjoy the-

[4:23] I think it's a well-done version of that.

[4:25] Yeah.

[4:26] And, but the one thing about this latest season, and I'll do no spoilers, but the one thing

[4:31] about this latest season that I kind of hang up on is like, look-

Stuart Wellington

[4:37] Is it the kid with the Agnes Varda haircut?

[4:40] No.

[4:41] No.

[4:41] Which kid is that?

[4:43] Will.

Dan McCoy

[4:44] He looks like a young Agnes Varda.

[4:45] He does look like a young-

[4:46] No, it's that I like how this season is based on such a kind of a standalone horror premise.

[4:55] Uh-huh.

[4:56] And I don't necessarily like have a particular attachment to like the show keeping previous

[5:05] horror premises alive, even though they have, like they've linked it all.

[5:10] But I don't think that the new season, like none of it makes sense to me in like the murky

[5:18] mythology that the show has put together.

[5:22] That like after the previous seasons where there's just kind of like monsters coming out

[5:28] of alternate dimension that in this case, there's just like, oh, there's one dude who

[5:32] wants to fuck with people.

[5:34] Yeah.

[5:35] Yeah.

[5:35] It's a hell mouth situation.

[5:37] Yeah.

[5:38] It doesn't feel like they belong to the same cosmology to me, I guess is what I'm trying

[5:42] to say.

[5:43] Fair.

[5:44] Uh, anyway, let's, uh, move on.

[5:46] Now that we've, you know, fulfilled our-

Elliott Kalan

[5:50] Talking tube with two dudes.

[5:51] Requirements.

[5:52] I'm not even going to bother to make my tortured Kate Bush joke that I was going to make.

[5:56] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[5:57] Hey.

[5:57] Why would you torture Kate Bush?

[5:58] She's amazing.

[5:59] No, that's not-

[6:00] Stuart.

[6:02] Guys, I said, let's keep it short tonight.

[6:04] And it's seven minutes in and we haven't even gotten to the premise that I've brought to the

[6:09] table for tonight's-

[6:10] Okay.

[6:10] Whose fault is that driver of the show?

[6:13] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[6:13] Dan's like, I want to talk about Vecna and how as a demon overlord tied with the undead,

[6:18] he's a perfect fit for Stranger Things.

Elliott Kalan

[6:21] Dan's like, okay, I'm in charge.

[6:23] I want to keep things on track.

[6:24] But first, let's talk about TV.

[6:26] Hey guys, you watching the Stranger Things show?

Dan McCoy

[6:29] Um, I wanted to try and steer us back into the zeitgeist after your Perry Como trip.

[6:37] Yeah.

[6:38] Yep.

[6:40] And, uh, so, hey.

[6:42] Uh, in the past-

[6:43] Yes, no one's-

[6:44] You're the only one talking, Dan.

[6:45] You don't need to interrupt yourself.

[6:46] Just go for it.

[6:47] You know what?

[6:48] In the past, I've done a lot of, uh, game-based minis.

[6:52] Have you ever?

[6:54] And tonight is no different, because I'm kind of talking to shit.

[6:58] Oh, wow.

[6:59] Already the games have begun.

Elliott Kalan

[7:00] The return of the dreaded game master.

[7:03] Every mini that Dan runs, a little bit like, uh, we're going to get a million dollars in

[7:09] our uncle's will.

[7:10] And then it turns out by daybreak after we've passed the contest that the true joke from

[7:14] Beyond the Grave is that there was no money in the will.

Stuart Wellington

[7:16] Yeah, yeah.

[7:17] Lose's spookies made us leave the house.

Dan McCoy

[7:20] So, uh, this game, all right, our podcast is The Flophouse.

[7:26] This game is called The House House.

[7:29] Okay.

[7:30] The premise.

[7:30] Okay, interesting.

Elliott Kalan

[7:31] I mean, here's, here's what I'll tell you about this game.

[7:34] This better be, this better be you name someone and we have to tell if they're a member of

[7:38] the Bauhaus architecture movement or the Bauhaus band.

[7:41] Sure.

[7:41] Or Dr. House.

[7:44] Well, uh, primarily.

[7:46] Each one Dan just says Hugh Laurie.

[7:49] Mm-hmm.

[7:50] Yeah, that's the answer to all.

Dan McCoy

[7:52] Uh, there's a hundred questions.

[7:53] Um, no, uh, we're primarily, I would say, a movie podcast.

[7:58] And there are a lot of movies with the word house in the title.

[8:03] Mm-hmm.

[8:04] So, in this game, we're going to go back and forth.

[8:06] Each of you is going to get a first shot at alternating questions, uh, and there'll be

[8:12] steals.

[8:13] There are steals.

[8:13] Okay.

[8:14] Oh, fuck yeah.

[8:15] Uh, but otherwise, pretty simple.

[8:16] Just a quiz.

[8:18] Uh, I will give a, a sentence describing the house and you tell me what type of house it

[8:25] is.

[8:25] Now, that, that, that, that makes it sound like I'm literally going to describe the

[8:29] architecture of the house.

[8:30] Let me go on further.

[8:31] This is just a cute framing for the game.

[8:34] Uh, basically, I will give a.

[8:35] Like a balloon frame house.

[8:36] I will give a clue and you tell me the name of the movie with house, the title that I'm

[8:40] talking about.

[8:41] I will give you an example.

Elliott Kalan

[8:43] So, when you said you're going to describe a house and we have to tell you what house

[8:46] it is, that was just not a, not an accurate way to describe the gameplay.

[8:49] Uh.

[8:50] You're going to describe a movie and we're going to tell you the title of that movie.

Dan McCoy

[8:54] Yes, except for the cute thing about it is you're like, oh, this is a blank house.

[9:01] Oh, I see.

[9:02] Or, like, or a house of blank.

[9:05] I getcha.

[9:06] Along those sorts of, so, okay.

[9:09] If you'll just let me get to the example, Elliot.

[9:11] Yeah, let's do it.

[9:12] All of your questions.

[9:13] I didn't know an example was coming.

[9:15] Well, I did say that there was one.

[9:18] Okay, example.

[9:19] This is a clue.

[9:20] You walk into a house and Vic Morrow's murderer is there directing the guy who played Mozart in

[9:26] Amadeus.

[9:27] Ah, I see.

[9:28] What kind of house is this?

[9:30] Elliot, I see you know.

Elliott Kalan

[9:31] That's an animal house.

[9:32] That is an animal house.

[9:34] Okay.

[9:34] Do I get a point for that?

Dan McCoy

[9:36] Or that was just an example?

[9:36] No, that was an example.

[9:38] Oh, I wasted it.

[9:39] I wasted it.

[9:40] Yeah, the framing is more like, you know, how Jeopardy has the answers and the questions

[9:45] reversed and whatnot.

[9:47] Oh, that's why I didn't win.

Elliott Kalan

[9:49] I didn't realize that.

[9:50] I thought that they were giving me the questions and I had to answer and I was so confused because

Dan McCoy

[9:56] there were no question marks.

[9:57] It's just a premise that then is basically not important because, for instance, on Jeopardy,

[10:04] those are still questions.

[10:05] I feel like the reason you didn't.

Stuart Wellington

[10:06] Now, I don't want to relitigate anything, Elliot, but I feel like the reason you didn't win

[10:10] Jeopardy is you didn't want it bad enough.

[10:12] I've watched enough movies about sports and stuff where athletes, the only reason they're

[10:16] able to win is because they want it bad enough or they have the power of friendship.

[10:20] And I don't think you had either of those two things.

[10:22] No, that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[10:23] I was all on my own and I did not want it badly enough to get a used buzzer set from

[10:29] a different game show, I think, and practice with that at home.

[10:33] It didn't even occur to me.

[10:34] Now, Dan, that's the funny thing about Jeopardy is Merv Griffin was always like, so there

[10:39] was this big outrage, this scandal, when they gave the answers to the contestants on 21.

[10:45] So I thought, why don't we give them the answers, but we keep the questions.

Dan McCoy

[10:49] But you're right, it is still asking a question and you're replying with an answer.

[10:54] 100% a question.

[10:55] Yeah.

[10:57] Anyway, so here we go where we got to play The House House.

[11:02] And Stuart, you're up first.

[11:05] These will, I did put them roughly in order where I assume they will get harder for you

[11:12] as we go along.

[11:12] I can't guess exactly which movies you know better than others, but this is kind of my...

Stuart Wellington

[11:19] I'm pretty sure I don't know much, but I know I love you.

Elliott Kalan

[11:23] I think you won the last game, Stu.

Stuart Wellington

[11:26] Yeah, well, you know, I'm just trying to psych you out because I had the fucking power of

[11:32] friendship, boys.

[11:33] And you won it.

[11:35] And Grayskull.

Elliott Kalan

[11:36] Yep.

[11:37] Okay, Stuart.

[11:38] That reminds me, Stu, He-Man said if you could return the power of Grayskull, he'd really

[11:41] appreciate it.

Stuart Wellington

[11:42] I am friends with Orko, and Elliot is kind of like a Cringer type character.

[11:48] So yeah, I guess I am like He-Man.

Elliott Kalan

[11:49] I mean, if only if you mean because I turn into an armored battle cat occasionally.

[11:54] Yes.

[11:54] Yeah.

[11:56] Stuart, you walked into a...

[11:58] It is offensive.

[11:59] I'm so much more of an Orko than a Cringer.

Stuart Wellington

[12:01] Well, we already have an Orko in our friend's circle.

Elliott Kalan

[12:04] Fair point.

[12:04] I guess I'll be man-at-arms then.

[12:08] We already have a man-at-arms too.

[12:11] Well, can I be mecha-neck?

[12:13] I've always wanted to be tall.

[12:15] Okay.

[12:15] Yeah.

[12:16] Manny faces.

Stuart Wellington

[12:17] Oh, is he a goodie?

Elliott Kalan

[12:18] I'm Moss Man.

Stuart Wellington

[12:20] Oh, man.

[12:21] Such good smells.

[12:22] Dan, we were playing a game, not just walking around.

[12:25] Yeah, we're playing a game.

[12:25] So what's the game?

[12:26] What's the...

[12:27] How do we play the game?

[12:29] You get the first question.

Dan McCoy

[12:30] Stuart, you get the first question.

Stuart Wellington

[12:33] Okay, cool.

Dan McCoy

[12:35] Okay.

[12:35] The question is this.

[12:37] You walk into a house and you're immediately starstruck by the world's most famous bouncer.

[12:43] What kind of house is it?

Stuart Wellington

[12:45] Oh, that's a roadhouse.

[12:47] I just walked into the double deuce, baby, and that's the roadhouse.

[12:51] It's the kind of place they sweep the eyeballs off the floor at the end of the night.

Elliott Kalan

[12:55] Yeah.

[12:56] That would be amazing if there was a scene where Patrick Swizzy had to go in and just with one of those big janitor brooms is just sweeping up piles of eyeballs.

[13:04] Sweeping up piles of eyeballs.

Dan McCoy

[13:06] Yeah, no bigger gimme than to ask Stuart a question about roadhouse.

[13:11] Yay!

Elliott Kalan

[13:13] If this was what kind of freak and you were like, well, this is a freak who has no ding-dong.

[13:19] I think that would be...

[13:20] That's a big gimme for him also.

[13:22] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[13:24] Elliot, you walk into a house and notice that all of the mermaid figurines have jizz on them.

[13:30] What kind of house is it?

Elliott Kalan

[13:31] Well, that would be a lighthouse, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[13:33] It is a lighthouse.

[13:35] There's one thing we know about lighthouses.

[13:39] They're full of...

[13:40] Let me go on.

[13:41] That's the horny Robert Pattinson.

[13:44] That's who's in them.

[13:46] Okay, back to Stu.

[13:48] Yay.

[13:48] You walk into a house and it's awesome.

[13:51] All of it's awesome except for a sort of lame Rob Zombie trailer with Nick Cage right in the middle.

Stuart Wellington

[13:59] Okay.

[14:01] Wait a minute.

[14:02] That's a grindhouse.

[14:05] Yay!

[14:05] I did it.

[14:06] A grindhouse.

[14:07] That's a grindyhouse.

Dan McCoy

[14:10] There's...

[14:11] I like some of Rob Zombie's movies, a couple of them.

[14:16] But yeah, his shortcomings as a director are really...

Elliott Kalan

[14:19] Are you really excited about his Munsters reboot that he's finally got his hands on?

[14:24] Is that what...

[14:24] That's what he's working on or what's coming out next from him is a Munsters.

Stuart Wellington

[14:27] You know that movie's going to have the baddest fucking Dragula you've ever fucking burned through the witches in.

Elliott Kalan

[14:33] Is it going to be...

[14:34] Is it twisted like Cormac McCarthy or is it still going to be funny?

[14:37] I think from what I've seen, it seems like it's still going to be funny.

[14:41] But you know...

[14:41] He's hilarious, guys.

[14:43] He's like the Cormac McCarthy of the screen, so...

Stuart Wellington

[14:46] Yeah.

[14:46] He's really funny, guys.

[14:49] I don't know if...

[14:50] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[14:50] It's going to be crazy.

[14:52] We are going to have to call our doctors, our GPs, and have them check in on our funny bones.

Elliott Kalan

[14:59] I mean, to be fair, there's something pretty funny about a guy who calls himself Rob Zombie as a young rock and roller.

[15:05] And then as an old man making movies continues to call himself Rob Zombie.

[15:09] That's pretty good.

[15:10] It'd be funnier if he called himself...

[15:13] Or Bobby Zombie.

[15:14] Bobby Zombie.

[15:16] Bobby Z.

Dan McCoy

[15:18] Okay.

[15:19] That's Robert Siddar, Elliot.

[15:21] Oh, you're right.

[15:21] Bobby Z is Robert Siddar.

[15:22] Rest in peace, yeah.

[15:24] Elliot.

[15:26] You walk into a house and you spend most of the time just walking around empty rooms and dancing to one thing leads to another by the fix.

[15:34] But somehow it's still terrifying.

[15:37] That would be a house of the devil, Dan.

[15:38] I'm scared just to think about all that walking.

[15:41] That is the house of the devil.

[15:43] It's empty.

[15:44] Wow.

[15:45] Or is it?

Elliott Kalan

[15:46] Well, then you can't know.

[15:47] Because you know at any moment Tom Noonan's going to come back from his date.

[15:50] Where is he going that night?

[15:53] What if...

[15:54] What's the movie where he's on a date?

[15:57] Is it...

[15:57] And what happened was?

[15:59] I think so.

[15:59] What if that was the same character?

[16:00] You're thinking of Manhunter.

Dan McCoy

[16:01] He was on a date in Manhunter.

[16:02] Yeah, yeah.

[16:03] That's what it was.

[16:04] Technically correct.

[16:04] He was on a date with...

[16:06] Took Joan Allen to see a tiger.

[16:08] Or not actually see a tiger.

[16:09] I guess feel a tiger.

[16:10] Yeah, because she's blind.

[16:10] Yeah.

[16:11] Yeah, her character.

Elliott Kalan

[16:12] He's on a date with the work of William Blake.

[16:15] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[16:15] Yeah.

[16:16] Doesn't end well.

Elliott Kalan

[16:17] Well, depending on your point of view, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[16:22] Okay.

[16:22] Back...

[16:23] Let's see.

[16:24] Back to...

[16:25] To me, things are heating up over here in the house of the...

[16:28] Stuart.

[16:28] Yeah, sorry.

[16:30] You walk into a house, and it's an exact reversed version of the house you used to live in with

[16:36] your dead husband.

[16:38] What?

Stuart Wellington

[16:41] Oh, that's what?

[16:43] The night house?

[16:44] That is the night house.

[16:46] Rebecca Hall, baby.

[16:49] Nailed it.

Dan McCoy

[16:51] That's your super yaki shirt.

Stuart Wellington

[16:53] It just says, Rebecca Hall, baby.

[16:56] The night house where every day is opposite day.

[17:00] Yeah.

[17:01] Oh, man.

[17:02] What a flick.

[17:04] That's a good...

[17:04] Did you finally see it, Stu?

[17:05] I did.

[17:06] It's great.

Dan McCoy

[17:06] I like that one a lot.

[17:08] Okay.

[17:08] Oh, I haven't seen it yet.

[17:09] Oh, it's great.

[17:09] I'm glad you got that question.

[17:12] Elliot, here's a question for you.

[17:13] You walk into a house, and you get a letter from Sandra Bullock in the future?

[17:21] I was worried you were going to ask about that one.

Elliott Kalan

[17:23] Uh, because I'm not sure I remember it.

[17:25] Um, is that the house at the lake?

Dan McCoy

[17:28] Ooh, judges.

[17:30] The house on the lake?

Elliott Kalan

[17:32] No, I'm...

[17:33] Now you're getting colder.

[17:35] The lake house?

[17:36] Yes, it is.

[17:37] It is the lake house.

Dan McCoy

[17:38] I think you should give me half a point.

[17:41] Yeah.

[17:41] One half.

[17:42] Okay.

[17:43] All right.

[17:45] Uh, not bad, honestly.

[17:48] This is getting a little bit harder.

[17:49] All right.

[17:52] Stuart.

[17:52] Uh-huh.

[17:53] You walk into a cartoon house, and you're like, wait, this was made by Dan Harmon and

[17:58] Rock Shrob?

[17:59] Yeah, that is.

[18:00] Monster House.

[18:01] Monster House.

Stuart Wellington

[18:02] You mean the fucking movie they made instead of finishing Scud the Disposable Assassin?

Dan McCoy

[18:07] Fuck that shit.

[18:08] I wasn't aware.

Stuart Wellington

[18:10] Uh, they later on finished, they later on finished Scud the Disposable Assassin.

[18:14] I remember in college, I'm sure I told this story, uh, about when, uh, when they like,

[18:19] uh, just didn't finish the series, and I wrote them like a mean email, and I don't remember

Dan McCoy

[18:27] who wrote me back, but it was the meanest fucking response.

[18:31] Wow.

Stuart Wellington

[18:31] Uh, and it, I mean...

[18:32] It was like touching a hot stove for me.

[18:34] I have never written another mean email since.

Dan McCoy

[18:39] I, I, those are not, I mean, yeah, those are not people I would expect a kind email back

[18:43] from in that situation.

Elliott Kalan

[18:45] I had, I had a, a very curious, uh, experience with, with Rob Shrabb, where he was the director

[18:51] on the second season of Mystery Science Theater, and, uh, we, I was, I was working on the show,

[18:58] and there was a guy named Seth who was working on the show.

[19:00] Uh, we had two very different jobs.

[19:02] I was the head writer, and he was kind of, uh, one of the head design guys, or was the

[19:07] head design guy.

[19:08] And I guess because we both have glasses, uh, Rob Shrabb could not tell who was who,

[19:12] and just called me Seth for the entire shoot.

[19:14] And it was, and I started correcting him in the beginning, and then I just stopped at a

[19:17] certain point.

[19:18] I was like, it's not, it's not, my life's too short to keep, to keep going into this.

Dan McCoy

[19:23] Um, well, Elliot, maybe, uh, you can take the taste of that out of your mouth with a,

[19:29] with a victory on this next question.

[19:30] Probably not.

[19:31] Huh?

[19:32] Yeah, getting on the board.

Elliott Kalan

[19:34] I'm on the board, Stu.

[19:36] You're winning, but I'm still on the board.

Dan McCoy

[19:39] Uh, you walk into a house, and you're like, I think I remember us doing this house on the

[19:45] flop house, maybe.

[19:46] Is this the one where the leads ended up getting married?

[19:50] I think that would be Dreamhouse.

[19:53] That's Dreamhouse.

Stuart Wellington

[19:55] Wait, that's the movie that, uh, where Danny Craig and, uh, and Rachel Weisz met.

[20:00] And then they, uh, fell in love, which, of course.

Dan McCoy

[20:03] Yeah.

[20:04] Who can blame them?

[20:04] How come you're not on either side?

[20:06] They're both great.

[20:08] Um, hey, that's, uh, that's halfway through the question.

[20:12] So, what do you know?

[20:13] And we know you've had some issues with counting in the past.

[20:15] No, I, I was very careful.

[20:17] You know, what better time than right in the middle of everything to take a break?

[20:25] And that is a break to say thank you to all the members of MaxFun who support us.

[20:31] And also thank you to our sponsors.

[20:33] We have a couple this week.

[20:34] The first one is Trade Coffee, a company that I recently, you know, I started, uh, I subscribed

[20:42] myself, uh, because I liked their coffee and I, I need to have coffee around the house.

[20:49] And why, why not have good coffee?

[20:52] Yeah.

[20:53] Or a change.

Stuart Wellington

[20:53] Sounds like you could use a cup right now.

[20:55] Mm-hmm.

[20:56] Well, it's, it is, it's kind of late here.

Dan McCoy

[20:59] Uh, uh, hey, Trade Coffee.

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[22:10] And don't...

[22:11] Well, this is old coffee.

[22:13] They're going to say, don't forget about Father's Day coming up.

[22:16] But that...

[22:17] That's...

Elliott Kalan

[22:18] It's slightly less than a year till the next one.

[22:21] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[22:22] True.

Dan McCoy

[22:23] It's coming up, guys.

[22:24] Keep it in mind.

[22:25] You can stockpile so much coffee in that time to give to your dad.

[22:29] Or...

[22:30] Speaking as a dad, it's never a bad time to get a gift.

[22:33] Yeah.

[22:33] That's the thing.

[22:34] It doesn't have to be for Father's Day.

[22:37] You can give it just because you want to or because you forgot about Father's Day.

[22:42] That's another option.

[22:43] It happens.

[22:43] Yeah, that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[22:44] Or maybe you just want to make it a little easier for the dad next time you barge into

[22:49] their room at 4.30 in the morning demanding chocolate because you just had a dream where

[22:53] you wanted chocolate and your parents wouldn't give you chocolate.

[22:56] Certainly a piping hot cup of personalized, algorithmically derived for you coffee would help

[23:01] take the edge off that particular situation.

Dan McCoy

[23:03] You want to be better than Dream Dad, don't you, Elliot?

Elliott Kalan

[23:11] I mean, I do.

[23:12] Only because I'm worried that Dream Dad will lure my children away into the netherworld.

[23:17] But it sounds like he's not giving them chocolate in the middle of the night either.

Dan McCoy

[23:22] Also, we're sponsored by Lumi Labs.

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[24:26] Elliot, why don't you just mention that show one more time?

[24:30] Sure.

Elliott Kalan

[24:31] Just in case you missed the mention at the beginning, just to remind you in case you were like, I guess I'll get tickets when the show is over.

[24:39] Don't.

[24:40] Don't wait until this episode is over.

[24:41] Don't.

[24:41] Go to thebellhausny.com.

[24:44] Why?

[24:45] You'll notice that on August 7th, a certain podcast is coming to the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York to perform live and talk about the movie Morbius.

[24:52] Could it be the Flophouse?

[24:54] Dan, Stu, and Elliot, my favorite audio friends, coming to my town if I live in Brooklyn or the surrounding environs in close driving or train distance.

[25:03] And talking about Morbius, the, in quotes, hit movie of the summer that captivated the internet without translating into money at the box office.

[25:13] Yes, that is exactly what's happening.

[25:14] August 7th, we'll be there at the Bell House, 7.30 p.m., talking about Morbius.

[25:19] The three of us doing our first live show in over two years.

[25:21] It's going to be super fun.

[25:22] We're raring to go.

Stuart Wellington

[25:24] I can't wait.

[25:24] I can't wait to see if Elliot can adapt to podcasting outside of his natural environment, his garage.

[25:32] Hey, he's not in his garage.

[25:33] I'm in my bedroom for this one, but usually I'm in my garage.

[25:37] I'm just goofing, guys.

[25:38] We're doing bits here.

[25:39] This is a fucking bit house.

Elliott Kalan

[25:41] Can I do a podcast when I'm not feet away from a tower of worm-eaten compost?

[25:46] I mean, it's a worm tower, so the compost is in trays that the worms are devouring.

[25:50] It's not a pile of loose compost.

Stuart Wellington

[25:52] We can bring worm compost to the Bell House.

Elliott Kalan

[25:55] Oh, that would be so great.

[25:56] Thank you.

[25:57] I'd really appreciate it.

[25:57] I kind of need it now.

S4

[26:01] Hello, I'm a stuffy dowager, Countess.

[26:05] Travis?

[26:05] I'm judging everybody's manners.

[26:08] Oh, no.

[26:09] Schmanners isn't judgy.

[26:10] It's about teaching you to be your best self and be a little more confident when you enter

[26:14] social situations that you don't understand, and maybe also teach you a little bit about

[26:18] history you didn't know or give you interesting things to talk about at parties.

Elliott Kalan

[26:22] Yeah, like the secret life of Emily Post.

S4

[26:25] Or, like, why wristwatches are the way that they are.

Elliott Kalan

[26:28] We can talk about table manners from the Victorian era.

[26:32] Sure.

S4

[26:32] Or what it's like to attend a Regency ball.

[26:34] Yeah.

[26:34] You can find all that and more if you listen to Schmanners on Maximum Fun or wherever your

[26:40] podcasts come from, I guess.

[26:43] Schmanners, Schmanners.

[26:45] Get it?

S5

[26:46] A man was walking along a beach which represented his life.

[26:51] At his feet were two sets of footprints, his and God's.

[26:55] But looking back down the beach, the man could see that in the hardest parts of his life, there

[26:59] was only one set of footprints.

[27:02] So the man said to God, why is there only one set of footprints when times were hard?

[27:07] Where were you?

[27:08] And God replied, my precious child.

[27:12] I was in my car listening to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast.

[27:17] The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award winning comedy podcast and you can find it at

[27:23] MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Dan McCoy

[27:27] Guys, I don't, I don't, you know, we don't usually do news on this show, but I just got some breaking

[27:32] news from the New York Times.

[27:34] I want to, I want to tell you guys about it.

[27:35] Oh, okay.

[27:36] But it should still be relevant when this is released in a couple days.

[27:39] Breaking news from the Times.

[27:42] Trumpet, a bloodhound, won best in show at the Westminster Dog Show.

[27:47] Oh, fuck yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[27:49] Wait, Dan, I have a follow-up question here.

[27:52] Was Trumpet a good boy?

Dan McCoy

[27:56] The New York Times says that you can see photos of all the very good dogs from the competition.

[28:03] So Trumpet, all of them.

[28:05] All dogs go to heaven.

Elliott Kalan

[28:06] Does it, does it explain, does it explain how Trumpet winning the Westminster Dog Show sounds

[28:10] like good news, but it's actually bad news that will make life harder for the Democrats?

Dan McCoy

[28:16] I feel like that's more of like a sort of a contrarian like slate kind of take on things.

[28:21] Oh, the Times does plenty of that stuff.

[28:24] All right.

[28:24] Well, let's get back to the game.

[28:26] As you may recall, Stuart was in the lead by half a point.

[28:31] By a whisper.

[28:33] Four to three and a half.

Elliott Kalan

[28:34] Merely because I wanted to give the lake house a more interesting title.

Dan McCoy

[28:39] Stuart, you're up.

[28:41] Okay.

[28:41] Here, here it goes.

[28:42] You walk into a melting house and people are cheering Paris Hilton dying, even though she

[28:48] never did anything to any of them personally.

[28:51] That would be the House of Wax remake.

[28:55] That is the House of Wax 2000 starring Elisha Cuthbert.

[29:01] I don't know why I laughed at that.

[29:02] It's just a fact about.

[29:03] It's a funny name.

Elliott Kalan

[29:04] House of Wax.

Dan McCoy

[29:06] Yeah, well, it's got a K sound in it, even though it's spelled with a C, you know.

[29:09] Yeah.

[29:10] Cuthbert.

[29:11] Anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[29:11] That's why Elisha Cook Jr. was also a funny named performer.

Dan McCoy

[29:15] Elliot, you, sir, walk into a house and you're like, what's that guy doing in a fat suit?

[29:23] Wait, this was made by the same director who did Beverly Hills Chihuahua and Scooby-Doo?

[29:28] What house could this possibly be?

[29:30] I'm telling you, it's getting harder now.

[29:33] Yeah, that's much harder.

[29:39] The fat suit means.

[29:41] Wait, do I get to steal?

[29:43] Oh, yeah, you can steal if you want.

Stuart Wellington

[29:45] I don't think I know it, though.

[29:48] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[29:49] I mean, you might as well.

[29:50] I should have guessed something.

[29:51] I had no idea, though.

Stuart Wellington

[29:53] Yeah, I don't know.

[29:54] House of Dogs?

[29:55] No, it's not House of Dogs.

Dan McCoy

[29:58] We're talking Big Mama's House.

[30:01] Oh.

[30:02] Big Mama's House.

Elliott Kalan

[30:04] Oh, I forgot about that.

Dan McCoy

[30:06] That I didn't see.

[30:09] Let's see if you'll know this one.

[30:11] You walk into a house and you're like, wait, this thing made $200 million and stars Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington.

[30:20] Why don't I remember this house exists?

Stuart Wellington

[30:25] Oh, shit.

[30:26] Okay.

[30:29] Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington.

[30:33] This is.

Dan McCoy

[30:35] Respectful hit, apparently.

[30:36] But no one recalls it.

[30:39] Yeah.

[30:42] Man.

[30:46] Like, I don't know.

[30:47] Like, I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[30:47] Like, money house?

[30:49] Not money house.

[30:50] Ellie, do you have a steal on this one?

Elliott Kalan

[30:53] I have two guesses.

[30:55] Uh-huh.

[30:57] Let me ask you this.

[30:58] This is probably too much.

[31:00] Is the house in the beginning of the title or the end of the title?

[31:04] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[31:05] Ooh.

[31:08] Is that too much?

[31:09] Might be too much.

[31:11] Let's just say it is a two-word title.

[31:15] Okay.

[31:15] I'll give you a totally unrelated hit.

[31:17] Is it Safe House?

[31:18] It is Safe House.

[31:19] God damn it.

Elliott Kalan

[31:21] I was worried for a second that I was pulling a lake house on it again.

[31:26] And then it was called, like, House of Bullets or something.

Dan McCoy

[31:29] House of Safe.

[31:30] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:30] House of Safe.

Dan McCoy

[31:32] Mm-hmm.

[31:33] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[31:34] Well, that was a respectable steal.

[31:35] Well done.

Dan McCoy

[31:40] Hey, everyone.

[31:41] So, this is the point at which regular, you're going to stop hearing regular gameplay.

[31:47] Alex, you should put, maybe you put in, like, a horn or something before I said,

[31:51] hey, everyone.

[31:53] Because.

Stuart Wellington

[31:53] Cool.

[31:53] Let's talk.

[31:54] Let's give more notes during this part of the show.

Dan McCoy

[31:56] Yeah.

[31:57] Sure.

[31:58] Maybe, like, a record scratch, Alex.

[32:00] Yeah.

[32:01] Or something that, you know.

[32:02] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[32:02] Like a lightsaber igniting.

[32:04] I mean, by this point, the funny thing is the audience will have already heard the sound

[32:07] effect.

[32:08] So, we're giving.

[32:08] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[32:09] We got to explain the sound effect because they're getting mad right now.

[32:14] So, what happened was we recorded the rest of this.

[32:17] It was hilarious.

[32:18] But it turns out that Elliot's memory card was full.

Elliott Kalan

[32:23] I made a rookie mistake.

[32:24] It was.

[32:25] Yeah.

[32:25] After years of doing this and did not check ahead of time how much space was on my memory

[32:30] card.

[32:30] I thought I had a lot more time than I did.

[32:32] And so, I apologize to Dan and to Stu.

[32:35] And I apologize to you, the audience, because you missed out on, well, all I remember is a

[32:39] bit about Parker Posey owning a poster shop of some kind.

Stuart Wellington

[32:42] But all these funny bits, like it was like there was three Rob zombies in the room just

[32:47] cutting it up, you know, chopping it up with them jokes.

Elliott Kalan

[32:50] He's just, he's such a natural funny man, you know.

Dan McCoy

[32:53] But we're going to, here's what we're going to do.

[32:55] We're going to, like, we're not going to try and recreate exactly what happened in terms

[33:00] of like, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[33:02] But Dan, you put work into these questions.

Dan McCoy

[33:04] So, we should at least acknowledge these questions.

[33:06] We should at least give the play-by-play.

[33:08] Yeah.

[33:08] We're going to go back and do the play-by-play.

[33:10] We're going to do it as if this didn't happen, but without the pretending that it didn't

[33:18] happen.

[33:18] Or maybe that we're just recounting the events.

Stuart Wellington

[33:21] Yeah.

[33:21] So, I had just totally biffed it on the safe house question.

[33:26] I feel like a real fool, but you know what?

[33:30] I mean, if 10 people tweet at me that they saw the movie safe house and recall elements

[33:38] of its plot, I will be very impressed.

[33:41] Just tweet at D-A-N-K-M-C-C-O-Y on Twitter.

[33:47] Just tweet at that address and tell them that you've seen safe house and you're familiar with it.

Elliott Kalan

[33:53] I think it's taking Dan a moment to realize you spelled out his name.

Dan McCoy

[33:57] Yeah.

[33:58] No, I just want to get back to it, honestly.

[34:02] I was letting the bit happen because then we would speed back to the questions, which

[34:09] was Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[34:11] Dan was going limp in this case.

[34:14] He was.

[34:15] I was playing possum.

Elliott Kalan

[34:17] Dan was allowing you to pull him out of the building so that he could, as a show of civil

[34:21] disobedience.

Dan McCoy

[34:23] So Elliot, your question, we all remember, was this.

[34:27] And I said, you walk into a house where an Iranian actress is winning a Best Supporting

[34:33] Actress Award, even though, again, it's a house you barely remember.

Elliott Kalan

[34:38] Oh, yes.

[34:38] And I had said that would be a house of sand and fog.

[34:40] And that's right.

[34:41] We did have, to fill in the listeners, we did have a discussion about whether or not the

[34:44] Academy Awards should be based on a 10-year delay system where you pick a movie and then

[34:49] they wait 10 years and if people still remember it, then it still gets that Academy Award.

Dan McCoy

[34:54] Yeah.

[34:54] I think that's, you know, like we talk about how many bad picks are made.

[34:59] You know, just, you know, let's think on it for a decade.

[35:03] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[35:03] As a culture.

[35:05] Yeah.

[35:06] Let it marinate.

[35:06] I'm calling it the Academy Awards sleep on it for a decade plan.

[35:10] Yeah.

[35:11] Hey, no reason to make a quick decision.

[35:13] Let's sleep on it for a decade.

Stuart Wellington

[35:16] By that time, everybody's had a chance to watch that fucking thing, you know?

[35:21] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[35:23] You think that's the biggest advantage?

[35:26] It's that Academy members will actually watch the screeners.

[35:30] They might.

[35:31] Yeah.

[35:32] All right.

Elliott Kalan

[35:34] As someone with a stack of Writers Guild Award screeners that I'll probably get to someday,

[35:39] yeah, I'll watch that James Brown movie someday.

[35:41] I'll hold on to that screener, sure.

[35:43] Then years pass.

[35:44] It becomes a coaster.

[35:46] And then, I don't even know what happens to it.

[35:48] It disappears somewhere into the house.

[35:50] The screener gnomes take it.

Dan McCoy

[35:52] That's the beautiful metamorphosis a screener goes through from lowly DVD to beautiful coaster.

[36:00] That's nature.

[36:02] Okay.

[36:03] Stuart.

[36:04] Yep.

[36:04] Your next question, if you'll recall, was perhaps my laziest question of the evening,

[36:09] which is, you walk into the house that Toby Hooper made after eaten alive.

[36:14] And you said?

Stuart Wellington

[36:15] Fun house, of course.

Dan McCoy

[36:17] That's, of course.

[36:19] We all remember.

Stuart Wellington

[36:19] It recently got out like a re-release, right?

[36:23] It, uh...

Dan McCoy

[36:24] Uh, I don't know about that.

[36:26] I, but you're probably right.

[36:28] It, it's, it had like a...

[36:31] Yeah, I think you're right that they did like a remaster of it.

[36:34] It's a beautiful looking movie.

[36:36] Yeah.

[36:38] A little slow, but good.

Elliott Kalan

[36:40] I mean, Dan, you also could, I mean, it would have been a totally different story if you had asked,

[36:44] okay, you walk into a house and it's a madness song about buying a condom for the first time.

[36:48] That would be house of fun, which is the opposite of fun house, or reversed.

[36:52] Hmm.

Dan McCoy

[36:54] Ellie, it's funny you say that, because you also had a question.

[36:58] You remember, it went like this.

[36:59] You walk into a house and you're like,

[37:01] this house is gonna make Parker Posey the new It Girl.

[37:05] Now, Ellie...

[37:06] I was confused by this.

[37:07] I was confused by this.

[37:08] You thought, you rightfully reminded me that, uh, Party Girl was kind of...

[37:13] That was kind of her breakout role, yeah.

[37:16] Yeah, but I did mention, uh, a hat, a distinctive hat, which...

Elliott Kalan

[37:21] Dan gave me a somewhat unfair clue saying that, oh, and she's wearing a hat,

[37:25] and that's when I knew it was House of Yes.

[37:26] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[37:28] Because of the poster.

[37:29] Yeah, yeah.

[37:30] Mm-hmm.

[37:31] Yeah, she looks like Jackie O, and that's when we went on our Flight of Fancy

[37:36] about Parker Posey's poster...

[37:40] Depot.

[37:41] ...panorama.

[37:43] Yeah, we...

Stuart Wellington

[37:43] I suggested that Dan had, uh, tailored this question for Elliot because he had already

[37:49] bought Elliot an autographed poster of House of Yes as a birthday gift for an upcoming birthday,

[37:54] and Elliot's like, of course I would accept anything autographed by Parker Posey, and I'm

[37:58] like, even a copy of Darwin Cook's graphic novel, Parker?

[38:02] And he's like, of course not.

[38:03] I don't like that at all.

[38:05] And I'm like, that's wild.

[38:06] It's great.

[38:06] And she's the perfect person to put an autograph on it.

Elliott Kalan

[38:10] I mean, this is...

[38:11] A lot of this conversation I don't remember, but there's no recording of it thanks to my

[38:15] own foolishness, so I have to assume it was exactly as he reported.

Dan McCoy

[38:19] You know, it's funny.

[38:20] I was going to make a joke about how this last part of the episode is trading on, you know,

[38:25] how much everyone loves hearing jokes they weren't there for explained to them.

[38:31] But then Stu saved it by swerving into new fantastical territory.

[38:41] Speaking of Stuart, Stuart was up next.

[38:44] Oh, yeah.

[38:46] Speaking of one-third of the blockhouse, one-half of the men I'm talking to at this moment, you

[38:53] walk into a house.

[38:53] I love it.

[38:53] Keep the fractions coming.

Elliott Kalan

[38:55] I love it.

[38:55] We're in a math house.

[38:56] Not a meth house.

Dan McCoy

[38:58] A math house.

[38:59] Stuart, you walk into a house and you're like, Kirstie Alley and John Larroquette, this

[39:04] is going to be hilarious.

[39:06] But, spoiler alert, it is not hilarious.

[39:10] And Stuart jumped on this one.

[39:11] Just like the anthrax song, it's a madhouse.

[39:14] Yeah, he jumped right on it.

[39:16] He knew it.

[39:17] Yeah, I knew that shit right away, baby.

[39:19] He jumped on it like a grenade and he was Captain America.

[39:22] Elliot, the final...

[39:24] We all remember this.

[39:26] Oh, what a...

[39:27] I mean, it just happened.

[39:28] What a magical night it was.

Elliott Kalan

[39:29] It's just too bad the listeners weren't there to experience it, you know, as it was happening.

[39:33] Again, my fault.

[39:34] It was my mistake, and I apologize to the listener, that they didn't get to experience IRT that's

[39:39] in real time, this magical miracle on ice.

Dan McCoy

[39:43] Yeah.

[39:43] I also wanted to assure the listener, by the way, we normally have, you know, checks and

[39:49] balance.

[39:49] Not checks and balance.

[39:50] It's not what I'm looking at.

[39:51] Like, what...

[39:52] Failsafe.

[39:52] We have a failsafe.

[39:54] We, you know, we have a backup.

[39:56] We, but we moved to a different Zoom recently and forgot that it's auto-recorded.

[40:01] Yeah.

[40:01] So there was a double failure here.

[40:04] But don't worry that this is going to be a problem.

Elliott Kalan

[40:07] Were both failures on my part?

[40:08] Yes.

[40:09] But still, I'll remind everyone that I routinely get woken up at 4.30 in the morning by a

[40:13] three-year-old demanding chocolate at the top of his lungs.

[40:17] So...

[40:17] Because of a dream.

[40:18] Because of a dream he had.

[40:20] So my...

[40:21] He's constantly having...

[40:23] He has...

[40:24] I mean, as many young kids do, he has, it seems, night terrors.

[40:26] And he yells in his sleep.

[40:28] And he yells things like, no, I don't want to.

[40:30] Stop.

[40:30] And then I'll wake him up the next morning.

[40:31] I'll be like, what was your...

[40:32] What were you dreaming about last night?

[40:34] And he's like, I didn't want to have to take a bath.

[40:36] And you told me I had to take a bath.

[40:37] Like, that's the kind of dream that he has.

[40:39] So...

Dan McCoy

[40:39] Elliot.

[40:41] Yes.

[40:42] Okay.

[40:42] Well, we recall is what I'm saying.

[40:45] What happened was I said that you walk into a house and you're like, is that a young

[40:49] Helen Hunt?

[40:50] No, wait.

[40:51] That's the actress that looks like her younger clone.

[40:53] It doesn't matter.

[40:55] This was released three days after September 11th.

[40:57] So no one will care.

[40:59] And you pulled it out at the last second for a half point win.

[41:05] I was aching to steal this shit.

[41:08] You remember that that movie is called what, Elliot?

Elliott Kalan

[41:11] That's right.

[41:11] It was Glass House starring Lili Sobieski, a.k.a.

[41:17] Little Helen Hunt.

[41:19] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[41:20] And she's backed up by, who's that?

[41:22] Udo Kier?

[41:24] Stellan Skarsgård?

[41:26] Stellan Skarsgård.

[41:27] Oh, right.

Elliott Kalan

[41:28] That's the guy.

[41:29] Guys, have you ever felt like your scars are not adequately protected?

[41:33] I did.

[41:34] And that's why I picked up Stellan Skarsgårds Skarsgårds.

[41:38] Now, they're the only guards for scars.

[41:40] Wherever you have a scar, just place one of the scar guards on it.

[41:43] And Stellan guarantees your scar will be guarded.

[41:47] Stellan Skarsgårds Skargårds are available.

[41:51] Well, mainly on the dark web.

[41:52] So, if you need, if you want to know where they are, I'll help you.

Stuart Wellington

[41:54] They also have them in Child Size from Alexander Skarsgårds Skarsgårds.

Dan McCoy

[42:03] Full-grown adult children, though.

[42:06] Only.

Elliott Kalan

[42:08] You can play a pretty wide range of ages.

[42:12] Do you guys ever feel like there aren't enough angry horses in your tropical storms?

[42:17] That's why I got Peter Storm Mare's Storm Mare.

[42:22] The only source for horses in tropical storms that I trust.

[42:26] I was like, where's he going with this?

[42:29] Hey, guys.

[42:31] Here's a situation we've all had.

[42:34] We told our friends about the hot date we were having, and then we failed to make it even to first base.

[42:39] The next morning, we don't want them to know that we didn't get anywhere with our date of choice.

[42:44] That's why I get the late William Hickey's Hickeys.

[42:48] Artificial Hickeys handcrafted by the late William Hickey.

[42:51] You just apply them to your neck.

Stuart Wellington

[42:53] Not quite as fantastic a pole as the Peter Storm Mare's, but that's good.

Elliott Kalan

[42:58] I was trying so hard to think of another person that had two words in their name, and I could only think of a one-word name.

Dan McCoy

[43:06] All right.

[43:06] Well, you know what?

[43:08] It's late, so let's sign off.

Elliott Kalan

[43:11] You should go to—

[43:12] Hey, guys.

[43:12] Have you ever worried that you don't have enough burrs?

[43:15] Maybe you need a full ton of burrs.

[43:16] That's why Tim Burton's Burr Ton is the product for you.

[43:20] It's a full ton of burrs.

[43:23] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[43:24] Now, are those Raymond Burrs or just the plant seed?

[43:29] That's a very good question.

Elliott Kalan

[43:30] A lot of people only have, let's say, 50 or 60 pounds of Raymond Burrs.

[43:34] But if you need a ton of Raymond Burrs—

[43:36] Yeah, sure.

[43:37] In this economy?

[43:38] —and you can fill as many Godzilla movies as you want.

[43:40] You just pour out the burrs.

[43:42] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[43:44] Anyway, the point is, this is the Flophouse.

[43:47] It's a podcast that I wouldn't say is normally more professional than this, but it certainly usually has fewer technical difficulties.

[43:55] But we—

Elliott Kalan

[43:57] If your definition of professional is that they check their equipment ahead of time, then it's usually more professional than this.

Dan McCoy

[44:02] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[44:04] But somehow we, you know, are part of a network.

[44:07] It's called Maximum Fun.

[44:08] You can go to MaximumFun.org to see all the other great shows on the network.

[44:13] If you want to see our website and all the stuff we've got on there, including a link to the event, the Bellhouse Show, where we'll be talking about Morbius, you can go to FlophousePodcast.com.

[44:27] Our producer, Alex Smith.

[44:29] I'm sorry, Alex, that the day that this happens is also the day we're getting you the audio one day later than normal.

[44:38] But thank you, and you can find him on Twitter at HowellDotty.

[44:45] He is a great and forgiving man.

[44:49] For the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[44:52] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[44:53] I'm Elliot Kalin saying I apologize and I'll try better next time.

Stuart Wellington

[44:57] Bye!

[44:58] Bye!

Elliott Kalan

[45:04] MaximumFun.org

Dan McCoy

[45:05] Comedy and culture

[45:07] Artist owned, audience supported.

FH Mini 57 - The House House

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