FH Mini 57 - The House House

[0:00] Hey, everyone, welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:06] Before we get started, I'm just going to turn it over to Elliot real quick.

[0:09] Hey, Flophouse listeners, hey, I know your ears love hearing us, wouldn't your eyes love

[0:14] seeing us and your mouths and noses love breathing in the air that surrounds us?

[0:20] You bet they would.

[0:21] That's why we're going to be in person for the first time in like two years, August 7th

[0:26] at our old stomping grounds, the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York.

[0:28] It's August 7th.

[0:30] It's a Sunday, 730 p.m. because we're old people.

[0:33] Doors open at 630 p.m.

[0:35] Tickets are available right now.

[0:36] Go to the bell house and why dot com.

[0:38] And for this special event, we need a special movie to talk about.

[0:41] That's right.

[0:42] We're talking about the film of the summer, the movie that has taken the nation by storm.

[0:46] The Morbius at the title is not the Morbius.

[0:48] It's just Morbius.

[0:49] Anyway, let's pretend I just said Morbius.

[0:51] We're going to be talking Morbius.

[0:52] That's right.

[0:53] I am quoting meme as if an old man who's still cool.

[0:56] It's Morbin time.

[0:58] So everybody, listen to the meme.

[1:00] It will be Morbin time, August 7th at the Bell House.

[1:03] Go to the bell house and why dot com.

[1:06] Look it up on the counter.

[1:07] Get tickets August 7th, 730 p.m. us in person in front of your very eyes.

[1:13] And now back to Dan McCoy for your regularly scheduled Flophouse Mini.

[1:16] Hey, everyone.

[1:17] Yeah, this is a Flophouse Mini.

[1:19] So you might be familiar with the Flophouse, the hit podcast, the three of us all host

[1:25] to it.

[1:26] You watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[1:30] Well, this is what we do in the off weeks where we don't watch a bad movie.

[1:34] We just kind of freeform it.

[1:35] And I'm in charge tonight to make results.

[1:39] Certainly.

[1:40] What?

[1:41] What's the mixed result?

[1:43] The quality of our minis are mixed results.

[1:45] Yeah.

[1:46] And when we just freeform it, you know, when we're just spitballed, well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:50] Freeform.

[1:51] Dan, can I hijack the mini again to talk?

[1:52] Can I tell a real life true story of something that happened to me today that was a real

[1:55] emotional rollercoaster?

[1:56] Yeah, let's do that.

[1:57] We're not.

[1:58] OK, we're not using tape.

[1:59] If it involves you as much time as we want, if this involves you playing poorly at the

[2:05] video game, what is it?

[2:08] Rollercoaster tycoon.

[2:10] That would be a true emotional rollercoaster for me.

[2:12] It would be with my emotions.

[2:14] Yeah.

[2:15] No.

[2:16] Today I had it.

[2:17] I learned for the first time, which I had never realized before, that the We Get Letters

[2:20] song from the Paul Schaeffer would perform on The David Letterman Show actually originated

[2:24] on the Perry Como show.

[2:26] And I said, hold on, I got to see this.

[2:28] I look up.

[2:29] We Got Letters song Perry Como.

[2:31] Up comes a YouTube video.

[2:32] And one of the comments on the YouTube video from seven years ago says, Elliot Kalin, the

[2:37] early years.

[2:38] And I was like, what?

[2:39] This is amazing.

[2:41] And there's two replies to it.

[2:42] Let me see what the replies is.

[2:43] And so I'm like, first, I learned that this song goes back decades earlier than I thought.

[2:47] I thought it was a Paul Schaeffer original.

[2:48] And it's not.

[2:49] It's a liar who stole it.

[2:50] Then I go to find the video.

[2:53] And there's actually a reference to me in one of the comments.

[2:55] What's this reply going to be?

[2:56] Something about what a great guy I am?

[2:58] First reply.

[2:59] Who is Elliot Kalin?

[3:00] And then I came crashing right back down.

[3:02] Turns out I'm not the hot stuff I thought I was.

[3:05] From user Danielle Kalin.

[3:08] What?

[3:09] So anyway, that was just a little emotional rollercoaster today as I was shocked to learn

[3:15] Paul Schaeffer didn't write that song.

[3:16] I was then shocked to see my own name attached to the clip on YouTube.

[3:19] Then write it again by seeing that I'm not famous.

[3:24] Yeah.

[3:25] Sand kicked in your face.

[3:28] Digital sand.

[3:29] Digi sand, they call it.

[3:30] All is fleeting.

[3:31] All glory.

[3:33] And everything else.

[3:34] Hey.

[3:35] So this is.

[3:36] Certainly.

[3:37] Certainly.

[3:38] Sick transit.

[3:39] Gloria.

[3:40] Gloria.

[3:41] Oh, wow.

[3:42] That also goes back to Perry Como.

[3:44] Weird.

[3:45] I think, Elliot, I think it's time for the kids to to rediscover you like they rediscovered

[3:50] Kate Bush and you are going to be the finally going to be so excited that the dulcet tones

[3:58] of Elliot will be the ones saving Max from the mind flayer.

[4:04] Oh, no.

[4:05] I mean, it's back under God, but I don't know.

[4:10] I forget.

[4:11] Like, I love I actually really like Stranger Things.

[4:14] I know a lot of people.

[4:15] I think you and I are simpatico on this, Stuart, where it's like, yeah, we get it.

[4:19] A lot of people are tired of the 80s nostalgia, but I still enjoy that.

[4:23] I think it's a well done version of that.

[4:25] Yeah.

[4:26] And but the one thing about this latest season and I'll do no spoilers, but the one thing

[4:31] about this latest season that I kind of hang up on is like, look, is it the kid with the

[4:38] Agnes Varda haircut?

[4:39] No, no.

[4:40] Which is that?

[4:41] Well, it looks like a young Agnes Varda.

[4:42] No, it's that I I like how this season is based on such a kind of a standalone horror

[4:54] premise, and.

[4:58] I don't necessarily like have a particular attachment to like the show keeping previous

[5:05] horror premises alive, even though they have like they've linked it all.

[5:10] But I don't think that the new season like none of it makes sense to me in like the murky

[5:18] mythology that the show has has put together that like after the previous seasons, there's

[5:25] just kind of like monsters coming out of alternate dimension that in this case, there's just

[5:30] like, oh, there's one dude who wants to fuck with people.

[5:34] I don't know.

[5:35] Yeah.

[5:36] Yeah.

[5:37] It's a it's a hell mouth situation.

[5:38] Yeah.

[5:39] It's like they belong to the same cosmology to me, I guess, is what I'm trying to say

[5:43] there.

[5:44] Uh, anyway, let's move on now that we've, you know, fulfilled our talking to you with

[5:51] two requirements.

[5:52] I'm not even going to bother to make my tortured Kate Bush joke that I was going to make.

[5:56] OK.

[5:57] Hey, why would you torture Kate Bush?

[5:59] She's amazing.

[6:00] No, that's not.

[6:01] Oh, yeah.

[6:02] Stewart.

[6:03] As I said, let's keep it short tonight and seven minutes in and we haven't gotten to

[6:07] the premise that I've brought to the table for tonight.

[6:10] OK.

[6:11] Whose fault is that?

[6:12] Driver of the show.

[6:13] Dan's like, I want to talk about Vecna and how as a demon overlord tied with the undead,

[6:18] he's a perfect fit for Stranger Things.

[6:21] Dan's like, OK, I'm in charge.

[6:23] I want to keep things on track.

[6:24] But first, let's talk about TV.

[6:26] Hey, guys, you watch Stranger Things show.

[6:32] I wanted to try and steer us back into the zeitgeist after your pericoma.

[6:36] Yeah.

[6:37] Yeah.

[6:38] And so, hey, yes, no one's you're the only one talking, Dan.

[6:45] You don't need to interrupt.

[6:46] Yeah, you got to go for it.

[6:47] You know what?

[6:48] In the past, I've done a lot of game based minis.

[6:53] Have you ever?

[6:54] And tonight is no different because I'm going to do it already.

[6:59] The return of the dreaded game master show, every every mini that Dan runs, a little bit

[7:06] like we're going to get a million dollars in our uncle's will.

[7:10] And then it turns out by daybreak after we've passed the contest, the true joke from beyond

[7:14] the grave is that there is no money in the will.

[7:16] Yeah.

[7:17] Yeah.

[7:18] Lose the spook.

[7:19] He's made us leave the house.

[7:20] So this game.

[7:21] All right.

[7:22] Our podcast is the Flophouse.

[7:26] This game is called the House House.

[7:29] OK.

[7:30] OK.

[7:31] Interesting.

[7:32] I mean, here's here's what I'll tell you about this better be.

[7:35] This better be.

[7:36] You name someone and we have to tell if they're a member of the Bauhaus architecture movement

[7:39] or the Bauhaus band.

[7:41] Sure.

[7:42] Or Dr. Well, primarily, each one then just as Hugh Laurie, that's the answer to all there's

[7:52] a hundred questions now.

[7:56] We're primarily, I would say, a movie podcast.

[7:59] And there are a lot of movies with the word house in the title.

[8:04] So in this game, we're going to go back and forth.

[8:06] Each of you is going to get a first shot at alternating questions and they'll be steals.

[8:13] There are steals.

[8:14] Oh, fuck.

[8:15] Yeah.

[8:16] But otherwise, pretty simple.

[8:17] Just a quiz.

[8:18] I will give a sentence describing the house and you tell me what type of house it is.

[8:26] Now that that that that makes it sound like I'm literally going to describe the architecture

[8:29] of the house.

[8:30] Let me go on further.

[8:31] This is just a cute framing for the game.

[8:33] Basically, I like a balloon frame house.

[8:36] I will give a clue and you tell me the name of the movie with house the title that I'm

[8:40] talking about.

[8:41] I will give you an example.

[8:43] So when you said you're going to describe a house and we have to tell you what house

[8:46] it is.

[8:47] That was just not a not an accurate way to describe the gameplay.

[8:49] You're going to describe a movie and we're going to tell you the title of that movie.

[8:53] Yes, except for the cute thing about it is you're like, oh, this is a blank house or

[9:02] like or a house of blank or, you know, along those sorts of.

[9:07] So, OK, if you'll just let me get to the example of all of your I didn't know an example was

[9:14] coming.

[9:15] Well, I did say that there was one.

[9:18] OK.

[9:19] Example.

[9:20] This is a clue.

[9:21] You walk into a house and Vic Morrow's murderer is there directing the guy who played Mozart

[9:26] and Amadeus.

[9:27] I got a house.

[9:28] Is this.

[9:29] Elliot, I see.

[9:30] You know, that's an animal house that is an animal house.

[9:34] OK.

[9:35] This is I get a point for that or just that was an example, but I wasted it.

[9:39] I wasted it.

[9:40] Yeah, the framing is more like, you know, how Jeopardy has the answers and the questions

[9:45] reverse and whatnot.

[9:46] And so.

[9:47] Oh, they.

[9:48] Oh, that's why I didn't win.

[9:49] I didn't realize that.

[9:50] I thought I thought it was so I thought that they were giving me the questions I had to

[9:54] answer.

[9:55] I was so confused because there were no question marks.

[9:56] It's just a premise that then is basically.

[10:00] not important because, for instance, on Jeopardy, those are still questions.

[10:05] I feel like the reason you, now, I don't want to relitigate anything, Elliot, but I feel

[10:09] like the reason you didn't win Jeopardy is you didn't want it bad enough.

[10:12] I've watched enough movies about sports and stuff where athletes, the only reason they're

[10:16] able to win is because they want it bad enough or they have the power of friendship.

[10:20] And I don't think you had either of those two things.

[10:22] Yeah.

[10:23] No, that's true.

[10:24] I was all on my own and I did not want it badly enough to get a, get a used buzzer set

[10:29] from a different game show, I think, and practice with that at home.

[10:33] It didn't even occur to me.

[10:34] Now, Dan, here's the, that's the funny thing about Jeopardy is that is Merv Griffin was

[10:37] always like, so, uh, there was this big outrage, this scandal when they gave the answers to

[10:44] the, to the contestants on 21.

[10:45] So I thought, why don't we give them the answers?

[10:48] But we keep the questions, but as you're right, they, it is still asking a question and you're

[10:53] replying with an answer.

[10:54] 100% a question.

[10:55] Yeah.

[10:57] Um, anyway, so here, here we go.

[11:00] We're going to play the house house and the Stewart, you're up, you're up first.

[11:05] These will, uh, I did put them roughly in, in order where I assume that will get harder

[11:11] for you as we go along.

[11:12] I can't exactly, you know, better than others, but this is kind of my, uh, I'm pretty sure

[11:20] I don't know much, but I know you won the last game's too.

[11:26] Yeah.

[11:27] Well, you know, I'm just trying to psych you out because I had the fucking power of friendship

[11:32] boys and gray skull.

[11:36] Yup.

[11:37] Um, okay.

[11:38] So that reminds me, Stu, he, man said if you could return the power of gray skull, he'd

[11:41] really appreciate it.

[11:42] I am friends with Orko and Elliot is kind of like a cringer type character.

[11:48] So yeah, I guess if only if you mean, because I turned into an armored battle cat occasionally.

[11:54] Yes.

[11:55] Yeah.

[11:56] Um, Stewart, you want it as offensive.

[11:59] I'm so much more of a twerko than a cringer.

[12:01] Well we already have an Orko in our friends circle.

[12:04] I guess I'll be man at arms then.

[12:06] Oh, we already have a man at arms too.

[12:11] Well I guess I'll be, well, can I be mechanac?

[12:13] I've always wanted to be tall.

[12:15] Okay.

[12:16] Yeah.

[12:17] Yeah.

[12:18] I'm kidding.

[12:19] I'm, I'm lost man.

[12:20] Oh man.

[12:21] Such good smells.

[12:22] Uh, Dan, we were playing a game, so what's the game?

[12:26] What's the, what's the, what's the, well, how do we get, you get the first question?

[12:30] Stewart, you get the first question.

[12:33] Oh, okay.

[12:34] Cool.

[12:35] Okay.

[12:36] The question is this.

[12:37] You walk into a house and you're immediately starstruck by the world's most famous bouncer.

[12:43] What kind of house is it?

[12:45] Oh, that's a road house.

[12:47] That's, well, I just walked into the double deuce baby and that's the road house.

[12:51] It's the kind of place they sweep the eyeballs off the floor at the end of the night.

[12:55] Yeah.

[12:56] That would be amazing if there was a scene where Patrick, where Patrick Swayze had to

[13:01] go in and just with one of those big janitor brooms is just sweeping up piles of eyeballs.

[13:04] Sweeping up piles of eyeballs.

[13:06] Yeah.

[13:07] No, no bigger gimme than to ask Stewart a question about road house, but, uh, I don't

[13:13] know if this was, if this was what kind of freak and you were like, well, in this, on

[13:18] this, this is a freak who has no ding dong.

[13:19] I think that's a big gimme for him also, uh, Elliot, uh, you walk into a house and notice

[13:26] that all of the mermaid figurines have jizz on them.

[13:30] What kind of house is it?

[13:31] Well, that would be a lighthouse, Dan.

[13:33] It is a lighthouse.

[13:34] That's if there's one thing you know about lighthouses that they're full of, uh, Robert

[13:43] Pattinson.

[13:44] That's who's in them.

[13:46] Okay.

[13:47] Back to Stu.

[13:48] You walk into a, you walk into a house and it's awesome.

[13:52] All of it's awesome except for a sort of lame Rob Zombie trailer with Nick Cage right in

[13:57] the middle.

[13:58] Okay.

[13:59] Uh, wait a minute.

[14:00] Uh, that's a grind house.

[14:01] I did it.

[14:02] That's a grindy house.

[14:03] Uh, there's, I like some Rob Zombies, uh, movies, a couple of them, but, uh, I don't

[14:16] know.

[14:17] But, uh, yeah, his, his shortcomings as a director, are you really excited about his

[14:20] monsters reboot that he's, he's finally got his hands on?

[14:24] Does that what, that's what he's working on or what's coming out next from him is a month.

[14:27] You know, that movie's going to have the baddest fucking Dragula you've ever fucking burned

[14:33] through the witches.

[14:34] Is it twisted like Cormac McCarthy or is it still going to be funny?

[14:37] I think from what I've seen, it seems like it's still going to be funny, but you know,

[14:42] Rob Zombie, he's like the Cormac McCarthy of the screen, so he's really funny guys.

[14:51] It's going to be crazy.

[14:52] We are going to have to call our, our doctors, our GPs and have them check in on our funny

[14:59] bones.

[15:00] I mean, to be fair, there's something pretty funny about a guy who calls himself Rob Zombie

[15:04] as a young rock and roller.

[15:05] And then as an old man making movies continues to call himself Rob Zombie, that's pretty

[15:09] good.

[15:10] I mean, it'd be funnier if he called himself or Bobby Zombie.

[15:14] Okay.

[15:15] Okay.

[15:16] That's Robert Siddhar, Elliot.

[15:18] No, you're right.

[15:20] Bobby Z is Robert Siddhar, rest in peace.

[15:24] Yeah.

[15:25] Elliot, uh, was, uh, you walk into a house and you spend most of the time just walking

[15:30] around empty rooms and dancing to one thing leads to another by the fix, but somehow it's

[15:35] still terrifying.

[15:36] Oh, that would be a house of the devil, Dan.

[15:39] I'm scared just to think about all that walking.

[15:41] That is a house of the devil.

[15:43] It's empty.

[15:44] Wow.

[15:45] Or is it?

[15:46] Well, you know, at any moment, Tom Noonan is going to come back from his date.

[15:50] Where is he going that night?

[15:53] What if, uh, uh, what's the movie where he's on a date?

[15:57] Is it?

[15:58] And what happened was, I think so.

[15:59] What if that was the same character?

[16:00] You're thinking of Manhunter.

[16:01] He was on a date.

[16:02] Yeah, that's what it was.

[16:03] Technically correct.

[16:04] He was on a date.

[16:05] It was on a date.

[16:06] It took Joan Allen to see a tiger.

[16:07] Or not actually see a tiger.

[16:09] I guess.

[16:10] Yeah.

[16:11] She's blind.

[16:12] Yeah.

[16:13] Yeah.

[16:14] Her character.

[16:15] He's on a date with the work of William Blake.

[16:16] Mm hmm.

[16:17] Yeah.

[16:18] Doesn't end well.

[16:19] Depending on your point of view.

[16:20] I guess.

[16:21] Okay.

[16:22] Back.

[16:23] Uh, let's see.

[16:24] It's to me.

[16:25] Things are heating up over here in the house of Stuart.

[16:28] Yeah.

[16:29] Sorry.

[16:30] You walk into a house and it's an exact reversed version of the house you used to live in with

[16:36] your dead husband.

[16:38] What?

[16:39] Uh, oh, that's, uh, what?

[16:43] The night house.

[16:44] That is the night house.

[16:46] Rebecca Hall, baby.

[16:47] Nailed it.

[16:48] That's your super yucky shirt.

[16:49] It just says Rebecca Hall, baby.

[16:56] The night house where every day is opposite day.

[16:59] Yeah.

[17:00] Uh, what a flick.

[17:04] That's a good.

[17:05] You finally see it, Stu.

[17:06] I did.

[17:07] It's great.

[17:08] I like that one.

[17:09] What?

[17:10] Uh, I haven't seen it yet.

[17:11] Oh, it's great.

[17:12] I'm glad you got that question.

[17:13] Uh, Elliot, here's a question for you.

[17:14] You walk into a house and you get a letter from Sandra Bullock in the future.

[17:19] Uh, I was worried you were going to ask about that one.

[17:23] Uh, cause I'm not sure I remember it.

[17:25] Um, is that the house at the lake?

[17:27] Ooh, judges.

[17:28] The house on the lake?

[17:29] No, I'm.

[17:30] Now you're getting colder.

[17:31] The lake house?

[17:32] Yes, it is.

[17:33] It is the lake house.

[17:34] I think you should give me half credit.

[17:35] Half a point.

[17:36] Yeah.

[17:37] Or half.

[17:38] Okay.

[17:39] All right.

[17:40] Uh, not, not bad.

[17:41] Honestly.

[17:42] This is getting a little bit harder.

[17:43] All right.

[17:44] Stuart.

[17:45] Uh huh.

[17:46] You walk into a house and you get a letter from Sandra Bullock in the future.

[17:50] All right.

[17:51] All right.

[17:52] All right.

[17:53] Stuart, you walk into a cartoon house and you're like, wait, this was made by Dan Harmon

[17:58] and Rob Schrub.

[17:59] Yeah, that is.

[18:00] Monster House.

[18:01] Monster House.

[18:02] You mean the fucking movie they made instead of finishing Scud the Disposable Assassin?

[18:07] Fuck that shit.

[18:08] Uh, they later on finished, they later on finished Scud the Disposable Assassin.

[18:14] I remember in college, I've told this story about when, uh, when they like, uh, just didn't

[18:21] finish the series and I, I wrote them like a mean email and I don't remember who wrote

[18:27] me back, but it was the meanest fucking response.

[18:30] Wow.

[18:31] Uh, and it, I mean, it was like touching a hot stove for me.

[18:34] I have never written another mean email since those are not, I mean, yeah, those are not

[18:41] people I would expect a kind email back from in that situation.

[18:45] I had, I had a very curious, uh, experience with, with Rob Schrub where he was the director

[18:51] on the second season of Mystery Science Theater.

[18:54] And uh, we, I was, I worked, was working on the show and there was a guy named Seth who's

[18:59] working on the show.

[19:00] Uh, we had two very different jobs.

[19:02] I was the head writer and he was kind of, uh, one of the head design guys or was the

[19:07] head design guy.

[19:08] And I guess because we both have glasses, uh, Rob Schrub could not tell who was who

[19:12] and just called me Seth for the entire shoot.

[19:14] And it was, and I started correcting him in the beginning and then I just stopped at a

[19:17] certain point.

[19:18] I was like, it's not, it's not, my life's too short to keep going into this.

[19:23] Um, well, Elliot, maybe, uh, you can take the taste of that out of your mouth with a,

[19:29] with a victory on this next question.

[19:31] Probably not.

[19:32] Yeah.

[19:33] Getting on the board.

[19:34] I was not on the board, Stu.

[19:35] You're winning, but I'm still on the board.

[19:36] Uh, you walk into a house and you're like, I think I remember us doing this house on

[19:45] the flop house.

[19:46] Maybe.

[19:47] Is this the one where the leads ended up getting married?

[19:51] I think that would be dream house.

[19:53] That's dream house.

[19:54] Wait, that's the movie that, uh, where Danny Craig and, uh, and Rachel.

[20:00] that and then they fell in love which of course yeah who can blame you not on either side they're

[20:06] both great um hey that's uh that's halfway through the question so are you sure and we

[20:14] know you've had some issues with counting in the past no i that was a low blow i'm sorry

[20:20] you know what better time than right in the middle of everything to take a break and that

[20:26] is a break to say thank you to all the members of max fun who support us and also thank you

[20:32] to our sponsors we have a couple this week the first one is trade coffee a company that i

[20:39] recently you know i started uh i started i subscribed myself uh because i liked the coffee

[20:46] and i i need to have coffee around the house and why why not have good coffee

[20:52] yeah sounds like he could use a cup right now well it is it's kind of late here uh uh hey

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[22:07] slash flop for 30 off and don't well this is old copy they're gonna say don't forget about

[22:14] father's day coming up uh but uh that it's it's only it's slightly less than a year till the next

[22:23] it's coming up guys keep it in mind you can stockpile so much coffee in that time to give

[22:28] to your dad speaking speaking as a dad it's never a bad time to get a gift yeah that's the thing it

[22:34] doesn't have to be for father's day uh you can give it just because you want to or because you

[22:40] forgot about father's day that's another option yeah that's true or you or maybe you just want to

[22:46] make it a little easier for the dad next time you barge into their room at 4 30 in the morning

[22:50] demanding chocolate because you just had a dream where you wanted chocolate and your parents

[22:55] wouldn't give you chocolate certainly a piping hot cup of personalized algorithmically derived

[23:00] for you coffee would help take the edge off that particular situation you you you want to be you

[23:06] want to be better than dream dad don't you elliot

[23:11] i do only because i'm worried that dream dad will lure my children away into the netherworld but

[23:17] sounds like he's not giving them chocolate in the middle of the night either so

[23:21] um also we're sponsored by lumie labs uh you may have heard about microdosing if not

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[24:14] to get free shipping and 30 off your first order links can be found in the show description but

[24:20] again that is microdose.com code flop elliot why don't you why don't you just mention that show

[24:29] one more time just uh sure just in case you missed the uh yeah just in case you missed the mention

[24:34] at the moment at the beginning just to remind you in case you were like i guess i'll get tickets

[24:38] when the show is over don't don't wait till this episode is over don't go to the bell house ny.com

[24:44] why you'll notice that on august 7th a certain podcast is coming to the bell house in brooklyn

[24:49] new york to perform live and talk about the movie morbius could it be the flop house dan stew and

[24:54] elliot my favorite audio friends coming to my town if i live in brooklyn or the surrounding

[24:59] environments in driving or train distance uh and talking about morbius the in quotes hit movie of

[25:07] the summer that captivated the living vampire captivated the internet without translating

[25:11] into money at the box office yes that's exactly what's happening august 7th we'll be there at the

[25:16] bell house 7 30 p.m talking about morbius the three of us doing our first live show in over

[25:21] two years it's gonna be super fun we're raring to go i can't wait i can't wait to see if elliot

[25:26] can adapt uh to podcasting outside of his natural environment his garage hey he's not as gross

[25:33] i'm in my i know this one but usually in my garage yeah i'm just goofing guys we're doing

[25:38] bits here this is a fucking bit house can i do a podcast when i'm not feet away from a tower of

[25:44] worm-eaten compost i don't know i mean it's a worm tower so the compost is in trays that the worms

[25:49] are devouring it's not that's not a pile of loose compost we can bring worm compost to the bell house

[25:55] oh that would be so great thank you i'd really appreciate it i kind of need it now

[26:02] hello i'm a stuffy gallagher countess travis i'm judging everybody's manners oh no trainers

[26:09] isn't judgy it's about teaching you to be your best self and be a little more confident when

[26:14] you enter social situations that you don't understand and maybe also teach you a little

[26:18] about about history you didn't know or give you interesting things to talk about at parties yeah

[26:23] like the secret life of emily post or like why wristwatches are the way that they are we can

[26:29] talk about table manners from the victorian era sure or what it's like to attend a regency ball

[26:34] yeah uh you can find all that and more if you listen to schmanners on maximum fun or wherever

[26:40] your podcasts come from i guess manner schmanners get it a man was walking along a beach which

[26:49] represented his life at his feet were two sets of footprints his and god's but looking back down the

[26:56] beach the man could see that in the hardest parts of his life there was only one set of footprints

[27:01] so the man said to god why is there only one set of footprints when times were hard

[27:07] where were you and god replied my precious child i was in my car listening to the beef and dairy

[27:15] network podcast the beef and dairy network podcast is a multi-award winning comedy podcast

[27:22] and you can find it at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts guys i don't i don't uh you

[27:29] know we don't usually do news on this show but i just got some breaking news from the new york

[27:33] times i want to i want to tell you guys about it okay it should it should still be relevant when

[27:38] this when this is released a couple days from the times uh trumpet a bloodhound won best in show at

[27:45] the westminster dog show oh fuck yeah uh wait dan i i have a follow-up question here uh was trumpet

[27:53] a good boy uh you know what the new york times says that that you can see photos of all the very

[28:00] good dogs from the competition so trumpet all of them all dogs go to heaven does it does explain

[28:07] does it explain how trumpet winning the westminster dog show sounds like good news but it's actually

[28:12] bad news that will make life harder for the democrats i feel like that's more of like a sort

[28:17] of a contrarian like slate kind of uh take on things oh the times does plenty of that stuff

[28:24] all right well let's get back to the game as you may recall stewart was in the lead uh by but by

[28:30] half a point um by four to three and a half merely because i wanted to give the lake house a more

[28:36] interesting title uh stewart you're up okay here here he goes you walk into a melting house

[28:44] and people are cheering paris hilton dying even though she never did anything to any of them

[28:49] personally that would be the house of wax remake that is the house of wax 2000

[28:58] starring elisha cuthbert uh i don't know why i laughed at that it's just a fact about it's a

[29:03] funny name house of wax uh yeah well it's got a k sound in it even though it's spelled with a c you

[29:09] know yeah cuthbert anyway cook jr was also a funny named performer elliott you sir walk into a house

[29:19] and you're like what's that guy doing in a fat suit wait this was made by the same director who

[29:25] did beverly hills chihuahua and scooby doo what house could this possibly be i'm telling you it's

[29:31] getting harder now yeah that's much harder i don't know uh the fat suit means do i get to steal oh

[29:43] yeah you can steal if you want i i don't think i know what those okay i mean you might as well

[29:50] i should have guessed something i had no idea though yeah i don't know house of dogs

[29:58] we're talking

[30:00] Big Momma's House.

[30:01] Oh, I forgot about that movie that I didn't see.

[30:08] Okay, Stewart, let's see if you'll know this one.

[30:11] You walk into a house and you're like, wait, this thing made $200 million and stars Ryan

[30:18] Reynolds and Denzel Washington.

[30:20] Why don't I remember this house exists?

[30:23] Oh, shit.

[30:27] Okay, uh, Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington.

[30:33] This is a respectful hit, apparently, but no one recalls it.

[30:40] Yeah.

[30:41] Man.

[30:42] Like, I don't know, like a money house, not money house.

[30:50] Ellie, do you have a steal on this one?

[30:53] I have two guesses.

[30:57] Let me ask you this.

[30:59] This is probably too much.

[31:01] Is the house in the beginning of the title or the end of the title?

[31:04] Wow.

[31:05] Oh, I don't know.

[31:08] Is that too much?

[31:09] It might be too much.

[31:12] Let's just say it is a two word title.

[31:14] Okay, I'll give you a totally unrelated hit.

[31:17] Is it safe house?

[31:18] It is safe.

[31:19] I was I was I was worried for a second that I was pulling I was pulling a lake house on

[31:26] it again.

[31:27] And then it was called, like, House of Bullets or something safe.

[31:30] Yeah.

[31:31] Mm hmm.

[31:32] Okay.

[31:33] Well, that was a respectable steal.

[31:35] Well done.

[31:38] Hey, everyone.

[31:41] So this is the point at which regular you're going to stop hearing regular gameplay, Alex.

[31:48] You should put maybe put in like a horn or something before I said, hey, everyone, because

[31:53] cool.

[31:54] Let's talk.

[31:55] Let's give more notes during this show.

[31:56] Yeah.

[31:57] Sure.

[31:58] Maybe.

[31:59] Maybe like a record scratch.

[32:00] Yeah.

[32:01] Yeah.

[32:02] Or something that, you know, yeah.

[32:03] Like a like a lightsaber igniting.

[32:04] I mean, at this point, the funny thing is, the audience will have already heard the sound

[32:07] effect.

[32:08] So, yeah, we got to explain the sound effect because they're getting mad right now.

[32:14] So what happened was we recorded the rest of this.

[32:17] It was hilarious.

[32:19] But it turns out that Elliot's memory card was full.

[32:23] I made a mistake.

[32:24] It was after years of doing this and did not check ahead of time how much space was on

[32:29] my memory card.

[32:30] I thought I had a lot more time than I did.

[32:32] And so I apologize to Dan and to Stu and I apologize to you, the audience, because you

[32:37] missed out on.

[32:38] Well, all I remember is a bit about Parker Posey owning a poster shop of some kind.

[32:42] But all these funny bits, like it was like there was three Rob zombies in the room just

[32:47] cutting it up, you know, chopping it up with them jokes.

[32:50] He's such a natural, funny man, you know, but we're going to here's what we're going

[32:54] to do.

[32:55] We're like, we're not going to try and recreate exactly what happened in terms of like, you

[33:01] know, we're not going to put work into these questions.

[33:04] So we should at least give the play by play.

[33:08] Yeah, we're going to go back and do the play by play.

[33:10] We're going to do it as if this didn't happen.

[33:15] But without the pretending that it didn't happen.

[33:18] And we were just recounting the the event.

[33:21] Yeah.

[33:22] So we did.

[33:23] I just totally biffed it on on the safe house question.

[33:26] I feel like a real fool.

[33:29] But you know what?

[33:30] I mean, if 10 people tweeted me that they saw the movie safe house and recall elements

[33:38] of its plot, I will be very impressed.

[33:41] Just tweet at d a n k m c c o y on Twitter and just just that address and tell them that

[33:52] you've seen safe house and you're familiar.

[33:53] I think it's taking Dan a moment to realize you spelled out his name.

[33:57] Yeah.

[33:58] No, I know.

[33:59] I was I just want to get back to it.

[34:02] Honestly.

[34:03] I was just letting the bit happen because then then we would speed back to the questions,

[34:09] which was Dan was going limp in this case, allowing you to pull him out of the building

[34:19] so that he could as a show of civil disobedience.

[34:23] So Elliot, your question, we all remember, was this and I said, you walk into a house

[34:30] where an Iranian actress is winning a Best Supporting Actress Award, even though, again,

[34:36] it's a house you barely remember.

[34:37] Oh, yes.

[34:38] And I had said that would be a house of sand and fog.

[34:41] And that's right.

[34:42] We did have to fill in the listeners.

[34:43] We did have a discussion about whether or not the Academy Awards should be based on

[34:45] a 10 year delay system where you pick a movie and then they wait 10 years.

[34:50] And if people still remember it, then it still gets that Academy Award.

[34:53] Yeah, I think that's, you know, like we talk about how many bad picks are made.

[34:59] You know, just just, you know, let's let's think on it.

[35:02] Give it a decade.

[35:03] Yeah.

[35:04] Let it as a culture.

[35:05] Yeah.

[35:06] Let it marinate.

[35:07] I'm calling it the Academy Awards.

[35:09] Sleep on it for a decade plan.

[35:10] Yeah.

[35:11] Hey, no reason to make a quick decision.

[35:13] Let's sleep on it for a decade.

[35:16] By that time, everybody's had a chance to watch that fucking thing, you know?

[35:21] Yeah.

[35:22] You think that's the that's the biggest advantage is that Academy members will actually watch

[35:30] the screeners.

[35:31] They might.

[35:32] Yeah.

[35:33] All right.

[35:34] OK.

[35:35] So someone as someone with a stack of Writers Guild Award screeners that I I'll probably

[35:38] get to someday.

[35:39] Yeah.

[35:40] I'll watch that James Brown movie someday.

[35:41] I'll hold on to that screener.

[35:43] Sure.

[35:44] Then years pass.

[35:45] It becomes a coaster.

[35:46] And then I don't even know what happens to it.

[35:48] It disappears somewhere into the house.

[35:50] The screener.

[35:51] The screener gnomes take it.

[35:52] That's the beautiful metamorphosis a screener goes through from lowly DVD to beautiful

[35:59] coaster.

[36:00] That's that's nature.

[36:02] OK.

[36:03] Stuart.

[36:04] Yep.

[36:05] Your next question, if you'll recall, was perhaps my laziest question of the evening,

[36:09] which is you walk into the house that Toby Hooper made after eaten alive.

[36:14] And I said, fun, fun house, of course, that's that's of course, we all recently it recently

[36:20] got out like a re-release.

[36:22] Right.

[36:23] And I don't know about that, but you're probably right.

[36:30] It's it had like a.

[36:31] Yeah, I think you're right that they did like a remaster of it.

[36:34] It's a beautiful looking movie.

[36:36] Yeah.

[36:37] A little slow, but good.

[36:40] I mean, Dan, you also could.

[36:41] I mean, it would have been a totally different story if you had asked, OK, you walk into

[36:44] a house and it's a madness song about buying a condom for the first time.

[36:48] That would be House of Fun, which is the opposite of Fun House or reversed.

[36:52] Mm hmm.

[36:53] Ellie, it's funny you say that because you also had a question.

[36:58] You remember it went like this.

[37:00] You walk into a house and you're like, this house is going to make Parker Posey the new

[37:05] it girl.

[37:06] Now, I was confused by this.

[37:07] I was confused.

[37:08] You thought you rightfully reminded me that Party Girl was kind of that was kind of her

[37:15] breakout role.

[37:16] Yeah.

[37:17] Yeah.

[37:18] But I did mention a hat, a distinctive hat.

[37:21] Dan gave me a somewhat unfair clue saying that, oh, and she's wearing a hat.

[37:25] And that's what I knew.

[37:26] It was House of Yes.

[37:27] Yes.

[37:29] Because of the poster.

[37:30] Yeah.

[37:31] Yeah.

[37:32] Mm hmm.

[37:33] Yeah.

[37:34] She looks like Jackie O.

[37:35] And that's when we went on our flight of fancy about Parker Posey's poster.

[37:41] Deep panorama.

[37:43] I said I suggested that Dan had tailored this question for Elliott because he had already

[37:49] bought Elliott an autographed poster of House of Yes as a birthday gift for an upcoming

[37:53] birthday.

[37:55] And Elliott's like, of course, I would accept anything autographed by Parker Posey.

[37:58] And I'm like, even a copy of Darwin Cook's graphic novel, Parker.

[38:02] And he's like, of course not.

[38:03] I don't like that at all.

[38:04] And I'm like, that's wild.

[38:06] It's great.

[38:07] And she's the perfect person to put an autograph on.

[38:10] I mean, yeah, a lot of this conversation I don't remember, but there's no recording of

[38:14] it.

[38:15] Thanks to my own foolishness.

[38:16] So I have to assume it was exactly as you reported.

[38:19] You know, it's funny.

[38:20] I was gonna make a joke about how this last part of the episode is trading on, you know,

[38:26] how much everyone loves hearing jokes they weren't there for explained to them.

[38:31] But then Stu saved it by swerving into a new fantastical territory.

[38:42] Speaking of Stuart, Stuart was up next.

[38:44] Oh, yeah.

[38:45] Speaking of one third of the house, one half of the men I'm talking to at this moment,

[38:53] you want to do a house actions coming.

[38:55] I love it.

[38:56] We're in a math house, not a math house, a math house, Stuart.

[39:00] You walk into a house and you're like, Kirstie Alley and John Larroquette.

[39:04] This is going to be hilarious.

[39:06] But spoiler alert, it is not hilarious.

[39:10] Stuart, just like the Anthrax song, it's a mad house.

[39:15] He jumped right on it.

[39:16] He knew it.

[39:17] Yeah, I mean, I'm sure I would be grenade and he was Captain America, Elliot, the final.

[39:25] We all remember this.

[39:26] Oh, well, I mean, it's a magical night.

[39:30] It's just weren't there to experience it, you know, as it was happening again, my fault.

[39:34] It was my mistake.

[39:35] I apologize to the listener that they didn't get to experience IRT.

[39:39] That's in real time.

[39:40] This this magical miracle on ice.

[39:43] Yeah.

[39:44] I also want to assure the listener, by the way, we we normally have, you know, checks

[39:49] and checks and balances and I want to look at like what it would fail safe.

[39:53] We have a fail safe.

[39:54] We you know, we have a backup.

[39:56] We but we moved to a different system recently.

[40:00] Yeah, so there was a double failure here, but don't worry that this is gonna be both failures on my part

[40:08] Yes, but still I'll remind everyone that I routinely get woken up at 4 30 in the morning by a three-year-old demanding

[40:14] Chocolate at the top of his lungs. So because of a dream because of a dream he had so

[40:21] He's constantly having treat. He yelled he has I mean as many young kids do he has it seems night terrors

[40:26] He yells in his sleep and he yells things like no, I don't want to stop and then I'll wake up in the next morning

[40:31] I'll be like, what was what were you dreaming about last night?

[40:33] And he's like I didn't want to have to take a bath and you told me I had to take a bath like that's the kind

[40:38] Of dream that he has so

[40:41] Elliot okay. Well, we were recall is what I'm saying

[40:44] What happened was I said that you walk into a house and you're like, is that a young Helen Hunt?

[40:49] No, wait, that's the actress that looks like her younger clone. It doesn't matter

[40:54] This was released three days after September 11th, so no one will care and

[40:59] You pulled it out at the last second

[41:03] For a high was when a key room to steal this shit

[41:08] You remember that that movie is called what Elliot? That's right. It was glass house starring Lili Sobieski

[41:15] aka

[41:16] little Helen Hunt

[41:19] Mm-hmm, and she's backed up by who's that? Udo Keir?

[41:22] Stellan scars guard

[41:24] All right, that's the guy that guys have you ever felt like your scars are not adequately protected?

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[41:42] Stellan guarantees your scar will be guarded. That's right. Stellan scars guards scar guards are available

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[42:02] Full-grown adult children

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[42:12] Do you guys ever feel like there aren't enough angry horses in your tropical storms

[42:17] That's why I got Peter storm mares storm mares

[42:22] The only source for horses in tropical storms that I trust

[42:34] We told our friends about the hot date we were having and then we failed to make it even to first base the next morning

[42:40] We don't want them to know that we didn't get anywhere with our with our date of choice

[42:43] That's why I get the late William Hickey is Hickey's. That's right. Artificial Hickey is handcrafted by the late William Hickey

[42:51] You just apply. I'm not not quite as not quite as fantastic a pole as the Peters

[42:58] Hard to think of another person that had two words in their name and I can only think of a one-name person one way

[43:05] All right, well, you know what it's late so let's sign off

[43:10] You should go to guys have you ever worried that you don't have enough burrs, maybe you need a full ton of burrs

[43:16] That's why Tim Burton's burr time

[43:18] Is the product for you? It's a full ton of burrs

[43:22] Yeah

[43:24] Now are those Raymond burrs or just you know, the plant?

[43:29] That's a very good question. A lot of people only have let's say 50 or 60 pounds of Raymond burrs

[43:34] But if you need a ton of Raymond burrs, yeah

[43:36] Sure, you know and you fill as many Godzilla movies as you want you just pour out the burrs

[43:42] Mm-hmm

[43:44] Anyway, the point is this is the flop ass

[43:46] It's a podcast that I wouldn't say is normally more professional than this, but it certainly usually has fewer technical difficulties

[43:55] but we

[43:57] Definition of professional is that they check their equipment ahead of time that it's usually more professional than this. Yeah. Yeah

[44:04] But somehow we you know are part of a network it's called maximum fun

[44:08] You can go to maximum fun org. See all the other great shows on the network if you want to see our

[44:15] Website and all the stuff we've got on there including a link to the event

[44:20] The bell house show or we talking about Morbius you can go to a flop house podcast calm

[44:27] Our producer Alex Smith. I'm sorry Alex

[44:31] That this happens is also the day we're giving you the audio one day later

[44:38] But thank you and you can find him on Twitter at how old Dottie

[44:44] He is a great and forgiving man

[44:49] For the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Ellie Kaelin saying I apologize and I'll try better next time

[45:01] You maximum fun org comedy and culture artists owned audience supported

FH Mini 57 - The House House

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