Lee Cronin's The Mummy

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Lee Cronin's The Mummy.

Elliott Kalan

[0:03] The movie that dares to ask the question,

[0:06] what if Lee Cronin made a mummy movie?

Dan McCoy

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse.

[0:35] I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[0:36] Hey, thanks for welcoming me to The Flophouse, Dan.

[0:39] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:40] Well, so was the welcome just meant for Stuart?

[0:42] Yeah, you got to...

[0:44] Oh, okay.

[0:44] You want one, you got to pay.

[0:45] So I'm an interloper, okay.

Stuart Wellington

[0:47] He's only allowed one invite per...

[0:49] Only one invite, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[0:50] I guess I'm Elliot Kaelin, the stowaway to this one,

[0:54] because Dan couldn't be bothered to get a plus two for the podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[0:57] Elliot latched onto my tummy like a lamprey or whatever.

[1:01] Yeah, exactly.

[1:02] I stuffed myself in your navel like a little...

Elliott Kalan

[1:04] But the good thing is...

[1:05] Like a little aquato.

Dan McCoy

[1:07] He's cleaning you of, you know, excess skin, parasites.

[1:12] Yep, exactly, yeah.

[1:14] So, guys, kind of like an oxpecker and I'm a giraffe.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18] A lamprey doesn't do that, Dan.

[1:20] A lamprey, I think, is a blood-sucking...

[1:21] Oh, I don't know.

[1:22] You're thinking more like a remora, you know.

[1:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25] I was just...

[1:26] I think an oxpecker's cooler because, like, I feel like we could be...

[1:30] If we were in, like, a third-generation Lion King offshoot,

[1:34] I would be this giraffe character.

[1:36] You would be the oxpecker that's, like, eating all the toots and mites off.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40] Oxpecker sounds like an insult, though.

[1:42] I'm trying so hard not to make a joke off of the oxuspecker.

[1:44] So, yes.

[1:45] Yeah.

[1:46] But I think that's right, Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[1:47] You know why you guys had to be gross?

[1:48] We're talking like making a Disney movie here.

[1:50] It's fucking weird.

Elliott Kalan

[1:52] But this is in Lion King 4.

[1:53] They do it now.

[1:54] And they're trying to go for an adult audience.

Dan McCoy

[1:56] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[1:57] Yeah.

[1:57] It was...

[1:58] Rule 34 somehow funded a movie.

Stuart Wellington

[2:02] And they're like, well, Stuart's voice sounds different enough from Seth Rogen's.

[2:07] Yeah, exactly.

[2:07] So, that's fine.

[2:07] He can get him in here.

Elliott Kalan

[2:08] He can be the big kind of rhino or giraffe character.

[2:11] Again, giraffe character.

[2:12] Yeah, yeah.

[2:14] Dan, what character are you in this Rule 34 Lion King ripoff, I guess, or official sequel?

Dan McCoy

[2:19] Is there like a...

[2:21] Is there an animal that just sort of watches from a distance?

Elliott Kalan

[2:25] Most animals.

[2:26] Most animals watch.

[2:27] They're a meerkat, but they've already got one.

[2:29] So, you know.

[2:30] Maybe you're a bird of some kind, too.

[2:31] Maybe you're a cape culture.

Dan McCoy

[2:32] Maybe I am a bird of some kind.

[2:33] Yeah.

[2:33] I'm like a bird.

[2:35] Yeah, don't know where your home is.

[2:36] This is a flyaway.

[2:39] This is a podcast, mostly as you can hear, it's a podcast where gibberish is spouted in

[2:45] sort of a stream of consciousness monologue between three like-minded idiots.

[2:52] But also, it's a podcast where we watch a movie that was critically or commercially shunned,

[2:58] and then we talk about it.

[2:59] Stuart didn't like my characterization.

[3:02] He frowned when I was too down on us as a podcast.

[3:05] As idiots.

[3:06] I'm the one who pooped through that.

[3:07] We're cool dudes.

[3:08] Yeah.

[3:09] In this case, we'll be talking about Lee Cronin's The Mummy.

[3:13] That's right.

[3:15] Shocktober cannot contain the bounds of The Mummy.

Elliott Kalan

[3:18] Also, they make a lot of horror movies these days.

[3:21] Yeah, they really do.

[3:22] So, there's a bounty of them, which is not a bad thing.

[3:23] And I just want to say off the bat, this movie, I think I will be unfair to it.

[3:30] I think all of America was because if someone comes to you and says, hey, we want to

[3:35] put your name in the title of the movie, how do you say no to that?

[3:38] On the other hand, I think it was much easier to make fun of this movie because the official

[3:42] title is Lee Cronin's The Mummy.

[3:44] And the case can be made that Lee Cronin is not a well-known enough piece of property

[3:49] to put his name in front of a much better-known piece of property, The Mummy, and expect those

[3:54] two things to balance out.

Dan McCoy

[3:55] Let's make a couple things clear.

[3:57] Number one, it was not Lee Cronin's fault.

[4:00] From all reporting, he was not particularly interested in this idea, but they wanted to do it to

[4:05] differentiate it from the existing Brendan Fraser Mummy.

[4:08] This was like a Blumhouse dictate that he then got on board with.

[4:11] Don't you think they're that different?

[4:13] They feel pretty similar.

[4:13] They're pretty similar.

Elliott Kalan

[4:15] On the other hand...

[4:15] One's a kind of semi-all-ages adventure and the other one is a movie where...

[4:19] Very bisexual.

[4:20] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[4:20] Very bisexual, friends.

Elliott Kalan

[4:22] Yeah.

[4:22] The other one is a movie in which children are tortured over and over again.

Stuart Wellington

[4:27] Oh, right.

[4:28] Yeah, which does...

[4:29] Is actually the fact that it says Lee Cronin's does clue you in that there's going to be

[4:35] child torture in it.

Dan McCoy

[4:36] I guess so, yeah, compared to the previous movie, yeah.

[4:38] But the other side of it is, yes, it is objectively hilarious as a title.

[4:43] When I first saw the title, I was like, is Lee Cronin like a Dean Kuntz figure that I just

[4:49] am not familiar with?

[4:50] That he wrote a bunch of books and now finally one of them is coming to...

[4:55] I'm like, oh no, he made The Hole in the Ground.

[4:58] Yeah.

[4:59] And the second Evil Dead...

[5:00] And Evil Dead Rise.

[5:01] Evil Dead Rise.

[5:02] Rise, yeah.

[5:02] The second new one.

[5:03] The second one is always the one that has to have Rise in the title.

Elliott Kalan

[5:06] Evil Dead Rise is fine.

[5:07] I feel like the new Evil Dead movies, I haven't seen the newest one because I don't think it's

[5:09] out yet, but the...

[5:11] It's out, we saw it.

[5:12] Oh, is it?

[5:13] I haven't seen the new one.

[5:13] The newer Evil Dead movies lose what to me is the most important aspect of the Evil Dead

[5:18] movies, which is charm and fun.

[5:21] Yeah, yeah.

[5:22] And they're just...

[5:23] I mean, those movies exist.

[5:25] There's no reason to remake them, really, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[5:27] Not to go on too much of a tangent here, but I was talking to a friend of the podcast,

[5:31] Steve Kostansky, and he pointed out kind of what I think is probably the key ingredient

[5:36] that's missing is there's no Ash character.

[5:38] Like, no character who's kind of an idiot.

[5:40] No character in that mode, in that role.

[5:43] Yes.

[5:43] There's no character who's kind of an idiot, who you don't mind seeing get beat up a little,

[5:48] but you also want to root for.

[5:50] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[5:50] Yeah.

[5:51] And I think that is one of the things, yeah, that differentiates that series.

[5:54] Because this direction they've taken them in is just to try to get extreme, gross out,

[5:59] you know, what things can we do with a human body.

[6:01] Still funny.

[6:01] Yes, I do think...

[6:02] Well, that's what I was going to say.

[6:03] Still has got some funnies.

Dan McCoy

[6:04] I think that it's funnier than critics are giving these recent ones credit for.

[6:09] I don't think the first one was that funny, but I think Rise and Burn.

[6:13] Not until, like, the very end when it goes super crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[6:16] I mean, Burn, I haven't seen it.

[6:17] Rise has some funny parts in it, but there's also, like, a...

[6:20] I mean, part of it is also that, like, the Evil Dead stuff has just become kind of like a generic type problem,

[6:27] you know, as opposed to...

[6:29] It was so distinct in the old movies, partly because it was goofy as all get out, but, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[6:33] Well, it's important that we're talking about Evil Dead now because we're about to talk about a movie that feels a lot like an Evil Dead movie.

[6:39] It feels kind of like 40% hereditary plus 30% The Exorcist.

[6:44] I would say 85% The Exorcist.

Elliott Kalan

[6:47] I would say it is a very high percentage The Exorcist.

[6:49] I'm being generous, Elliot.

[6:51] I mean, I guess so.

[6:53] Any movie that starts in a Middle Eastern country and then involves a little girl saying swears and being mean to her family

[6:59] because she's possessed by something is The Exorcist.

[7:02] Like, that's the same movie.

Stuart Wellington

[7:04] So, real quick before we get into this one, guys, because as you guessed, I'm on some mummy duty or, wait, some mummy duty?

[7:14] Which one?

[7:15] Which one works better?

[7:15] Well, they wouldn't normally mummify the duty.

Elliott Kalan

[7:18] That's not part of Egyptian burial practices.

[7:20] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:21] Only if they wanted to take it into the next world with them, which is probably not.

Elliott Kalan

[7:24] If it was a piece they were particularly proud of.

[7:26] Yeah.

[7:26] So, do you guys...

[7:27] Look at the size of that thing.

Dan McCoy

[7:29] Do you guys have any...

[7:29] Can you believe I passed that?

[7:31] Wrap it up.

[7:31] Put it in a jar.

[7:32] I'm sure the God of death this...

[7:34] I want to show Anubis this thing.

[7:35] He's going to be like, whoa!

Stuart Wellington

[7:37] Yeah, yeah.

[7:37] It looks like a field hockey stick.

[7:39] Let's check it out.

Elliott Kalan

[7:42] ISIS, get over here.

[7:43] Osiris, get over here.

[7:44] Look at this thing.

[7:45] Check this out.

Stuart Wellington

[7:45] It looks like a Kopash.

[7:50] So, what I was asking is, do you guys have any personal history with mummies?

Elliott Kalan

[7:55] Or the mummy?

[7:56] I mean, just recently...

[7:57] I have an angered one, if that's what you're asking.

[7:59] I haven't gotten...

[8:00] I haven't been involved with a mummy that has been reanimated.

[8:03] I have to admit, the mummy has always been my least favorite of the universal monster classics.

[8:08] If only because it's hard to do stuff with him when he's in mummy form.

[8:14] But that first mummy movie, the 30s, was really good.

[8:17] Those Brandon Fraser mummy movies were pretty fun.

[8:19] But recently, at the California Science Center, I think it may still be up,

[8:23] there's an exhibit of real-life mummies,

[8:25] bodies that have been either mummified or were naturally mummified

[8:28] by the places that they were buried or left in.

[8:31] And I took my son to see that, and I've got to say,

[8:34] we looked at a lot of dead bodies.

[8:36] They're real dead bodies, real mummies, and it was kind of spooky.

[8:39] You can't help but imagine those bodies getting up and talking to you,

[8:42] maybe offering you a meal, which you should not accept.

Dan McCoy

[8:45] Doing a dance, yeah.

[8:45] The thing is, I'm so distant at this point from like...

[8:50] Humanity.

[8:51] Yes.

[8:52] Honestly, kind of.

[8:53] But also...

Stuart Wellington

[8:55] Was that Japanese novel not quite human or not even human or something?

Dan McCoy

[9:00] The horror concept of a mummy has been so abstracted for me

[9:05] that I had to think about it now,

[9:07] and I'm just like, you know, there is something cool about a mummy.

[9:10] Essentially, it is like just a flavor of zombie,

[9:14] but it's one that has been like specifically like they've put it,

[9:18] they've preserved it,

[9:18] they've put it in like a container for thousands of years,

[9:22] and then you're like open it up,

[9:23] and there's good stuff in that.

[9:25] It's just, it is a harder one, as you say,

[9:28] to do a lot of different things with, I think.

Elliott Kalan

[9:30] Well, I think you're putting your finger on what makes a mummy special,

[9:33] which is that it is an ancient thing that is still alive.

[9:35] It should be dead, but it's still alive, and it is old.

[9:39] And what this mummy movie fails to,

[9:40] what this mummy does is just,

[9:42] it just possesses human bodies by a demon.

[9:44] It's like not actually,

[9:45] there's not very much mummy in this mummy movie.

[9:48] It's not really a mummy movie.

[9:49] It's not really a mummy movie.

[9:50] But it's the idea,

[9:51] every universal monster has an element of something that is unnatural,

[9:55] something that seems so against the laws of nature,

[9:57] but also something that is sensitive and vulnerable or sympathetic in some way,

[10:02] or at least understandable in some way.

[10:04] And the mummy,

[10:04] it's the combination of,

[10:05] this is an ancient dead thing that is somehow still alive,

[10:08] but also that it has a reason,

[10:10] it has a desire that keeps it alive in a way.

[10:12] It's similar to Dracula in that way.

[10:13] It's an undead thing that has a desire for a living thing,

[10:17] in the original mummy movie at least.

[10:18] And this,

[10:19] that's the key of it.

[10:20] And it feels like in this one,

[10:20] they don't,

[10:21] they were trying to look for a different way.

[10:22] And the Brennan Fraser ones.

[10:23] And the Brennan Fraser ones,

[10:23] to be sure.

[10:24] Yeah, that's true.

[10:24] That's true.

[10:25] M-O-Tep's got,

Stuart Wellington

[10:26] you know,

[10:28] stuff to do.

[10:28] He's horny.

[10:29] Yeah.

[10:30] M-O-Tep be horny.

[10:31] M-O-Tep has an M-O,

[10:33] and it be in horny.

Elliott Kalan

[10:35] So many of the monsters are horny when it comes down to it.

Dan McCoy

[10:38] It really,

[10:39] yeah,

[10:39] it really says something,

[10:41] I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[10:42] About the human condition,

[10:43] you know.

Stuart Wellington

[10:43] Yeah.

[10:43] So obviously,

[10:44] I have been selected to do the Samamari,

[10:47] because of my,

[10:48] my connections to ancient Egyptology,

[10:51] ancient Egyptology,

[10:52] because of course,

[10:53] I own all 10 albums by the Egypt-themed death metal band,

[10:57] Niall,

[10:58] one of the greatest death metal bands of all time.

[11:00] So I will make sure that I,

[11:01] you know,

[11:02] luckily that has helped me understand the whole.

Elliott Kalan

[11:04] How far are you along in getting the cover of the Iron Maiden Power Slave album tattooed on your back?

[11:09] I know it was a multi-stage process.

[11:10] What have you got so far?

Stuart Wellington

[11:11] That was a problem.

[11:12] I have a bunch of cover-ups back there that I have to do,

[11:15] because I have like a yin-yang,

[11:16] and I have a tramp stamp of the Bat Out of Hell cover I got to cover up.

[11:24] After Meat Loaf Let Me Down.

Dan McCoy

[11:26] Not really a stamp at that point.

[11:29] I figure you need a good size for that to be legible.

[11:31] No,

[11:32] no,

Stuart Wellington

[11:32] that was part of the problem,

[11:33] was it was too small.

[11:33] Yeah,

[11:34] yeah,

[11:34] it's like a postage stamp,

[11:35] and I mean,

[11:36] hey,

[11:36] credit to the artist,

[11:37] it's still,

[11:38] you know,

[11:38] it's very legible,

[11:39] but I got to get that cover and arrested.

Dan McCoy

[11:40] One of the great tattoo miniaturists to get it done.

Stuart Wellington

[11:42] Yeah,

[11:43] we were-

[11:43] Tattoo some rice.

[11:44] So we were trying to decide if,

[11:46] for that Power Slave album cover,

[11:49] if we should just have somebody holding up a letter that has a postage stamp of the Meat Loaf Bat Out of Hell,

[11:55] but they're also like,

Dan McCoy

[11:56] does this make sense?

Stuart Wellington

[11:58] Somebody who worships at a giant pyramid with Eddie on it,

[12:02] would he be sending mail with a modern stamp?

[12:06] I mean,

[12:06] the problem is that-

[12:07] And that's a forever stamp,

[12:08] right?

[12:08] I'm like,

[12:08] no,

[12:09] it's not a forever stamp.

Elliott Kalan

[12:10] You need those extra little stamps that Marge's husband paints in Fargo.

[12:14] I think that part of the issue is that it would appear that someone was handing the letter to Eddie to mail,

[12:20] and that seems like that's not respectful of his position as a pharaoh.

[12:23] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[12:23] exactly.

[12:24] Yeah,

[12:25] he's not going to go to the post office.

[12:27] Of course not.

Elliott Kalan

[12:28] It sucks.

[12:28] He's too busy being a power slave,

[12:30] bemoaning that he has to die and can't live forever.

[12:32] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[12:32] Thank you.

[12:33] Yep.

[12:33] Okay,

[12:34] so our movie begins.

[12:36] That movie,

[12:37] Lee Cronin's The Mummy.

[12:39] It begins-

[12:39] Wait,

Elliott Kalan

[12:39] can I say the dumbest joke,

[12:41] the dumbest Iron Maiden joke about mail?

[12:42] Yes,

Elliott Kalan

[12:42] please.

[12:43] Instead of saying return to the center,

[12:44] it says back to the village.

[12:45] Anyway,

[12:45] continue.

Stuart Wellington

[12:48] Oh,

[12:48] I love it.

[12:49] That's just for me.

[12:51] So-

[12:52] It wasn't for me.

[12:53] No.

[12:53] Dan,

Dan McCoy

[12:53] you gotta listen to Power Slave.

[12:54] It's a great album.

Stuart Wellington

[12:55] Anyway,

[12:55] it's a great album.

[12:56] It's arguably Iron Maiden's best album.

[12:59] Yeah.

[12:59] Maybe not my favorite,

[13:00] but their best.

[13:00] It's hard to argue,

[13:01] yeah.

[13:01] So we,

[13:02] we begin,

[13:03] our story begins in Aswan,

[13:05] I think I'm pronouncing that Aswan,

[13:07] Aswan,

[13:07] Egypt.

[13:09] A family returns home

[13:12] to find that their pet bird is dead

[13:14] under mysterious circumstances.

Elliott Kalan

[13:16] And this family,

[13:17] this family loves to sing along to the radio,

[13:18] except for the mom,

[13:19] who is a real buzzkill and killjoy.

[13:21] Real buzzkill,

Dan McCoy

[13:22] a lot of cool tattoos,

[13:23] looks like a wizard.

[13:24] She stops the singing and I was like,

[13:26] I was kind of enjoying that song.

[13:27] I don't know how much I'm going to enjoy in this movie.

[13:29] So I was not on her side.

[13:31] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[13:31] No,

[13:31] I mean,

[13:32] she is,

[13:32] she is coded as an evil witch pretty early.

[13:34] Yeah.

[13:35] And that,

[13:35] that was the game I was playing throughout the movie,

[13:37] which is how racist is this?

Stuart Wellington

[13:39] It's a,

[13:40] it's a good question,

[13:41] Mark,

[13:41] but,

[13:42] uh,

[13:42] well,

Elliott Kalan

[13:42] let's,

[13:43] let's go through the movie and then we'll discuss.

[13:45] We'll decide.

[13:45] We three white men will decide for ourselves.

[13:48] Thank you.

[13:48] This is for Egyptians.

[13:50] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[13:50] Uh,

[13:50] so they find this dead pet bird and they're like,

[13:52] uh,

[13:52] oh,

[13:53] it started again.

[13:54] So mom and dad go down into the basement,

[13:56] which leads to a buried giant black pyramid.

[13:59] They go inside the pyramid to find a black basalt sarcophagus,

[14:05] uh,

[14:06] using a series of pulleys and winches.

[14:08] They lift up the lid of the sarcophagus to find a mummified human figure.

[14:12] And they're like,

[14:13] eh,

[14:13] it's probably fine.

[14:14] That thing's moving.

[14:15] Uh oh.

[14:16] And it uses its magic telekinesis powers to make a hook,

[14:21] spear the dad through the throat,

[14:22] and blood goes everywhere,

[14:23] which I will honestly say,

[14:25] I'm like,

[14:26] this is wackier and grosser than I expected initially.

[14:28] So,

[14:29] uh,

Elliott Kalan

[14:29] I agree.

[14:30] I will say though,

[14:31] that,

[14:31] uh,

[14:31] it is funny to me that they see their bird has died,

[14:33] their pet bird.

[14:34] oh,

[14:34] the mummy must be reviving.

[14:36] And I'm like,

[14:37] I don't know.

[14:37] Pet birds,

[14:38] they die pretty frequently.

[14:39] I feel like,

Stuart Wellington

[14:41] I mean,

[14:42] yeah,

[14:43] I mean,

[14:43] I haven't,

[14:43] I've been around more birds than mummies.

[14:46] So I don't,

[14:47] my sample size is a little different than these people.

[14:50] Um,

[14:50] so,

[14:51] but this is another,

[14:52] there's,

[14:52] I feel like there's many examples in this movie of something absolutely crazy happening.

[14:56] And then just like cutting to a completely different scene.

Elliott Kalan

[15:00] There is a moment later on where there is a bonkers scene that happens in front of a number of other people.

[15:05] And then they just cut to that night.

[15:07] no,

[15:08] no,

[15:08] no.

[15:09] Hold on a second.

[15:11] People are not leaving and going,

[15:13] well,

[15:13] that was weird.

[15:14] And then letting the family go about its business.

[15:16] No.

[15:16] You're like,

Stuart Wellington

[15:16] oh,

[15:16] I'm glad that party wrapped up early.

[15:21] Okay.

[15:22] So now we cut,

[15:23] uh,

[15:23] we cut to Cairo and we don't know when this first scene takes place,

[15:27] but we cut to Cairo.

[15:28] It's 2018.

[15:30] We meet a family living in,

[15:32] still time.

[15:33] Yeah.

[15:33] We find a family living,

[15:34] uh,

[15:34] and living in Egypt.

[15:36] Uh,

[15:36] the father is Charlie.

[15:38] He's a reporter,

[15:39] uh,

[15:39] like an American reporter who,

[15:41] uh,

[15:41] stationed in Cairo.

[15:43] Yeah.

[15:43] He,

[15:43] his wife is Larissa,

[15:44] who is a nurse and their children are Katie and their youngest is Sebastian.

[15:49] And Larissa is pregnant.

Elliott Kalan

[15:51] So the,

[15:52] the,

[15:53] so Charlie is played by,

[15:54] by the actor Jack Rayner and classic,

Stuart Wellington

[15:57] classic,

[15:57] uh,

[15:57] bad bear boyfriend.

Elliott Kalan

[15:59] And he must have been paid by the wide eyed surprise.

[16:03] Look,

[16:03] like if you did a drinking game for this movie,

[16:05] which was how many times does Charlie with wide eyes look in shock at something?

[16:09] You would die because you would have alcohol poisoning.

[16:12] I,

[16:12] I've started finding it so funny that he had this,

[16:14] this react,

[16:15] everything that happened,

[16:16] he had this wide eyed,

[16:16] like,

[16:16] Oh,

[16:17] reaction.

Stuart Wellington

[16:19] They should have got him for the,

[16:21] uh,

[16:21] for the war of the worlds movie.

[16:23] Um,

[16:23] yeah,

[16:24] the,

[16:24] uh,

[16:25] but he was,

[16:25] you know,

[16:25] he was,

[16:26] he was a great doofus in midsummer.

[16:28] Uh,

[16:29] I liked him in the peripheral,

[16:31] the William Gibson series.

[16:33] Uh,

[16:33] that was pretty fun.

[16:34] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[16:34] I just,

[16:34] I just have a chip on my shoulder cause he was the star of the TV show,

[16:37] strange angel,

[16:37] which was an adaptation of a story that,

[16:40] or strange all,

[16:41] which was an adaptation of a story.

[16:42] I wanted to adapt,

[16:43] uh,

[16:43] a true life story.

[16:44] And I wrote a spec pilot for it.

[16:46] And then that show came out and I'm like,

[16:46] well,

[16:47] I guess,

[16:47] I guess that's not going to happen.

Stuart Wellington

[16:49] So that's a bummer.

[16:50] Um,

[16:50] so,

[16:51] uh,

[16:52] they,

[16:53] Charlie gets some news that he is,

[16:55] uh,

[16:55] he's been offered a job to move to New York,

[16:58] uh,

[16:58] New York city.

[16:59] And I think we can all agree.

[17:01] Greatest city in the world,

[17:02] baby.

[17:03] Um,

[17:03] those dreams are cut short because they're child.

[17:05] You are the empire state of mind.

Dan McCoy

[17:08] And that cut it.

[17:09] We can't,

[17:10] we can't afford that.

[17:11] We can't afford that.

Stuart Wellington

[17:13] Um,

[17:13] so,

[17:14] uh,

[17:14] they're,

[17:15] these dreams are cut short.

[17:16] These dreams are cut short.

[17:19] Yeah.

[17:19] By when they're younger,

[17:21] when their child,

[17:22] Katie is kidnapped out of their garden by,

[17:26] uh,

[17:27] the same tattooed,

[17:28] uh,

[17:29] wizard lady.

[17:30] Who hates music,

[17:31] but loves giving chocolates to kids.

[17:33] Yeah.

[17:33] And is the mother of a girl named Layla.

[17:35] We all find out.

[17:36] Layla.

[17:38] Your mommy be a mummy.

[17:40] Layla.

[17:41] So she,

[17:41] uh,

[17:42] Oh,

[17:44] I'm glad that,

[17:44] yeah,

[17:45] I'm glad that,

[17:45] uh,

[17:46] I'm glad that recorder,

[17:48] like semi muted Elliot when he had a certain decibel level.

[17:52] Um,

[17:53] okay.

[17:53] So,

[17:54] uh,

[17:54] she uses a combination of candy,

[17:57] uh,

[17:58] promises,

[17:58] and then a magic nectarine.

Elliott Kalan

[18:01] She gives candy.

[18:02] Da,

[18:02] da,

[18:03] da,

[18:03] da.

[18:04] Dan and I have to interrupt with songs as many times as possible in this one.

Dan McCoy

[18:06] I'm glad you did it.

[18:07] Cause I,

[18:08] I definitely had the impulse to do the exact same song.

Stuart Wellington

[18:12] So this,

[18:12] uh,

[18:13] lady gives her a nectarine,

[18:14] a bug pops out,

[18:15] climbs down her throat,

[18:16] seems to,

[18:17] uh,

[18:17] send her into some kind of convulsions.

Dan McCoy

[18:19] That's how people get me,

[18:20] by the way,

[18:21] too.

[18:21] Candy and promises.

Stuart Wellington

[18:22] So Charlie chases after his daughter who has been kidnapped.

[18:26] Of course he is,

[18:27] uh,

[18:27] he is stopped by a mysterious sandstorm that shows up out of nowhere.

[18:32] Uh,

[18:33] they go to the police.

[18:33] There's no leads.

[18:35] The police think that maybe the parents,

[18:36] not even the Glen Gary leads.

Elliott Kalan

[18:38] Cause they are not closers.

Dan McCoy

[18:39] They don't get those leads.

[18:40] No,

[18:40] you don't get those.

[18:41] What the fuck?

[18:41] Yeah.

[18:42] Yeah.

[18:42] If they had closed a bunch of other,

[18:43] uh,

[18:44] cold cases of child abductions.

[18:46] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:46] First process with Cadillac.

[18:48] Second prize set of steak knives.

[18:49] Third prize,

[18:50] you'll find this little girl.

[18:54] So they,

[18:55] uh,

[18:55] ABM always be mummying.

Stuart Wellington

[18:57] The detective assigned to their case is detective Zaki or Zaki.

[19:02] Um,

[19:02] and she,

[19:03] you know,

[19:04] uh,

[19:05] has dealt with a lot of,

[19:07] uh,

[19:07] kidnappings and missing children.

[19:09] And rarely does the,

[19:11] does it end well.

[19:12] Um,

[19:13] fast forward eight years later.

[19:15] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[19:16] And this is,

[19:16] but this is very,

[19:17] this is very funny,

[19:18] which is that it shows,

[19:19] it shows like a local news story and you,

[19:21] and then it turns out to be nothing.

[19:22] And you're,

[19:23] you're at Al Pacino's news and you see news and you see the

[19:25] dad is working there.

[19:26] And then it just goes eight years later in huge letters on the side of

[19:30] the screen.

Dan McCoy

[19:31] They've taken a left turn to Albuquerque.

[19:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:35] They're not interested in going to the carrot festival.

[19:38] Yeah.

[19:38] No.

Dan McCoy

[19:39] Why would they?

Elliott Kalan

[19:41] They're not rabbits.

Stuart Wellington

[19:44] Be a strange thing for a family to do.

[19:46] Oh,

[19:47] to be like a carrot salesman that has to deal with fucking bugs,

[19:50] bunny.

[19:50] Like that guy would be just like fucking bother you.

Dan McCoy

[19:55] But only after you've done something to him.

[19:57] I mean,

[19:58] if you're following the Chuck Jones.

[19:59] He's not going to,

Stuart Wellington

[20:00] he's not going to pay for like the listed price for these things.

[20:04] He's going to trick me.

Elliott Kalan

[20:05] He's going to try to trick you.

[20:05] Yeah.

[20:05] I am not going to give you a discount.

[20:07] You are going to give me a discount.

[20:08] I'm not going to give you a discount.

[20:09] You are going to give me a discount.

[20:10] You're not going to give me a discount.

[20:11] I am going to give me a discount and you're going to take this discount.

[20:13] You know what?

[20:13] Take the carrots for free.

[20:15] And then it always takes a moment before they recognize it.

[20:17] We just watched,

[20:17] I just showed my younger son,

[20:18] Roger Rabbit for the first time.

[20:20] And he enjoyed it a lot.

[20:21] And there was that part where he doesn't want to drink and he pulls that trick on him.

[20:25] Yeah.

[20:26] That movie,

[20:27] I'll tell you what,

[20:28] the period appropriate misogyny does not come off as well,

[20:33] but still an amazing looking movie.

[20:34] That movie looks amazing.

Stuart Wellington

[20:36] Yeah.

[20:37] And we're specifically just talking about Bob Hoskins' body,

[20:40] yaddy,

[20:40] right?

Elliott Kalan

[20:41] We are indeed.

[20:42] You get a shirtless scene with him.

[20:44] That's what everybody wants.

Stuart Wellington

[20:44] Yeah.

[20:45] Yeah.

[20:45] What a hunk.

Elliott Kalan

[20:45] They call him Bod Hoskins.

Stuart Wellington

[20:47] What a performance that he fucking pioneered this,

[20:51] like,

[20:51] I'm working with tennis balls acting.

Elliott Kalan

[20:53] Yeah.

[20:54] I mean,

[20:54] apparently it was really,

[20:55] apparently it really threw him for a loop and it took him a while to get back to do

[20:58] another movie because he was like,

[20:59] I'm still seeing these characters all around me.

[21:01] He had to like put himself in a place where he really saw them there.

[21:04] And that's why he started murdering people.

[21:06] Oh yeah.

Dan McCoy

[21:07] But then he hit himself in the head with a big wooden hat,

[21:09] a mallet.

[21:10] And he stopped seeing the characters.

[21:11] Yeah.

[21:12] Yeah.

[21:12] But he lost his,

Elliott Kalan

[21:13] his memory,

[21:14] unfortunately.

[21:14] And he thought he was Italian racing star,

[21:16] Bobby O.

[21:17] Hoskins.

Dan McCoy

[21:20] That explains those four years in his career.

[21:22] And all the scarves he was wearing.

Stuart Wellington

[21:27] So eight years later,

[21:29] Charlie,

[21:29] Larissa,

[21:30] Seb,

[21:30] and their new younger daughter,

[21:32] Maude,

[21:33] live in Albuquerque with Larissa's wife.

[21:36] What appears to be a castle.

[21:38] Yes.

[21:38] Their house is enormous.

[21:39] It is an enormous castle house in Albuquerque.

[21:41] I mean,

[21:42] the dollar stretches a little farther.

[21:43] It does.

[21:44] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[21:44] if you're a producer at a local news show,

[21:46] you are making the big bucks.

Stuart Wellington

[21:48] Well,

[21:49] Larissa is also a nurse,

[21:50] right?

[21:51] That's known for a high,

[21:52] high return.

[21:54] I mean,

[21:54] it depends on,

[21:55] I mean,

[21:55] it depends on where you're doing it.

[21:57] You know,

Elliott Kalan

[21:57] she could be the private nurse for an eccentric trillionaire.

Stuart Wellington

[22:00] We don't know if it's possible.

[22:00] She could be the private nurse of Joaquin Phoenix's character at the end of-

[22:04] Okay,

[22:04] if she's like some sort of concierge nurse,

[22:05] then perhaps.

[22:06] Yeah,

[22:06] yeah.

[22:07] And they live with Larissa's mother,

[22:09] Carmen,

[22:09] who is a older religious woman.

[22:12] Yes.

[22:13] That will be important in a little bit.

[22:16] Okay.

[22:17] Back in Aswan,

[22:18] Egypt,

[22:18] there's a plane crash,

[22:20] a little-

[22:21] Looney twins back in Aswan.

[22:22] Yeah,

[22:22] a little twin prop plane crashes in the middle of,

[22:27] I guess,

[22:27] like a woods or something.

[22:30] Somewhere.

[22:31] It just crashes somewhere.

[22:32] We do find some pretty cool dead bodies that popped out of this.

[22:36] I mean,

[22:37] like,

[22:37] there's a little bit of love.

[22:39] Look at those awesome dead bodies.

[22:41] I mean,

[22:41] there's an effort to be like,

[22:42] well,

[22:43] if somebody's dying in this movie,

[22:44] it's going to be gross and crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[22:46] Nobody dies in a calm way in this movie.

[22:49] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[22:50] Which,

[22:50] I have to give it credit.

[22:51] Like,

[22:51] that's,

[22:52] hey,

[22:52] I don't think,

[22:53] I don't think,

[22:54] not to spoil things,

[22:56] I don't think this movie works.

[22:58] But there's clearly some things about it that I think are good.

Elliott Kalan

[23:01] It definitely is not afraid to be gross.

[23:04] It's not afraid to be gross.

[23:05] It's not afraid to be in your face.

[23:06] And it's not afraid to do a lot of,

Stuart Wellington

[23:06] like,

[23:06] split diopter shots and other,

[23:08] like,

[23:09] kind of wacky filmmaking stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[23:10] I was worried their diopter was broken,

[23:12] and it was only split.

[23:13] There's so many split diopter shots.

[23:14] Yeah,

[23:14] it was only split, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[23:15] oh,

[23:16] who'd we borrow this one from?

[23:18] Brian De Palma.

[23:21] Okay,

[23:22] so,

[23:23] there's a plane crash.

[23:24] Of course,

[23:25] in that plane was a giant basalt black sarcophagus.

Dan McCoy

[23:28] Do we ever learn why they were transporting it?

Stuart Wellington

[23:31] Yes.

[23:31] Okay.

[23:32] We'll later find out that they were,

[23:34] that these are the brothers of Layla,

[23:37] the sons of the magician lady.

[23:39] Yeah.

[23:40] And they were trying to transport that because,

[23:43] Oh,

[23:44] it's going to be flooded.

[23:45] The valley was going to be flooded.

[23:47] Yeah.

[23:48] So,

[23:48] and I don't,

[23:49] I guess being flooded is bad.

[23:51] I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[23:52] I mean,

[23:53] It's one of those things where like,

[23:55] certainly when there was,

[23:56] when the Aswan Dam was built many,

[23:58] many years ago,

[23:58] like it flooded a lot of low lying areas and people had to move.

[24:01] And that's one of the reasons that there's a,

[24:04] there's a temple,

[24:07] a full Egyptian temple,

[24:08] a minor one,

[24:08] but a full one in the Metropolitan Museum is that was given as a gift in

[24:11] exchange because of the work that the Met helped fund for them moving

[24:15] things to make way for the water that was coming through the dam.

[24:18] But that was also,

[24:19] but that was 50 years ago.

[24:21] So I don't know.

[24:21] I don't know what they're talking about in terms of,

[24:23] maybe they're building a new dam.

[24:24] Maybe it's just a reference or something.

[24:25] In the movie.

[24:26] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[24:27] Okay.

[24:28] So when the authorities open up.

Elliott Kalan

[24:30] I will say though,

[24:30] it's also a kind of not totally clear when this movie is taking place in some

[24:35] ways.

[24:36] Yeah.

[24:36] Because they,

[24:37] do people use cell phones in it?

[24:38] Eight years later.

[24:39] I can't remember.

[24:40] But like,

[24:40] it says 2018 and 2026 in the description,

[24:44] but like everything looks vaguely 70s-ish in the movie.

[24:47] Like the way people dress,

[24:49] the colors of their interior decorating,

[24:51] but I don't think it's supposed to be set then.

[24:53] I think it's supposed to be set now.

Stuart Wellington

[24:54] There's definitely a reference to Taylor Swift.

[24:57] Yes,

[24:57] that's right.

Elliott Kalan

[24:58] There's a reference to Taylor Swift.

[24:59] And the Egyptian police have computers.

[25:01] So maybe it's set now,

[25:02] but it feels like it's,

[25:03] it feels like it's set in the now.

[25:04] There's also.

[25:05] And VCRs.

[25:06] And VCRs.

[25:06] They have,

[25:07] they have a VHS technology.

[25:08] Yeah.

[25:08] No.

Stuart Wellington

[25:10] Okay.

[25:11] So the authorities open the sarcophagus.

Elliott Kalan

[25:12] Let's remove that.

[25:13] Tornographer,

[25:14] can we remove that from the record?

[25:15] My question about when the movie takes place.

[25:16] Thank you.

[25:17] I forgot about the references to Taylor Swift,

[25:19] which are,

[25:19] which firmly planted in the here and now.

Stuart Wellington

[25:21] Yeah.

[25:22] Yeah.

[25:23] So they open up the sarcophagus and they find a mummified person,

[25:27] which turns out to be,

[25:28] that's right,

[25:29] 18,

[25:30] what,

[25:30] like 18 year old Katie,

[25:32] who is,

[25:33] by all accounts,

[25:37] perfectly healthy,

[25:38] but seems to be in a semi catatonic state.

[25:42] Her appearance.

[25:43] She has claws for hands.

[25:44] She has claws for hands.

[25:45] Her appearance looks,

[25:47] either the results of makeup effects or digital effects,

[25:51] or a combination of the two.

[25:53] She looks a lot like Snoke from the Attack of the Clones.

Dan McCoy

[25:56] That is a good call.

[25:57] She's got a very Snoke-ish look.

[25:58] Last Jedi,

[25:59] yeah.

[25:59] She looks,

[26:01] and,

[26:03] I mean,

[26:04] eventually acts,

[26:05] like it is a build,

[26:06] but it's not that much of a build.

[26:07] She looks and acts so much like a monster girl,

[26:13] that it is very funny.

[26:15] The length of time,

[26:17] I mean,

[26:17] I realize that this is her family,

[26:18] but it's very funny the length of time.

[26:20] And everyone seems to be in denial about her.

[26:23] yeah,

[26:24] yeah,

[26:24] she's okay.

[26:25] We can fix her.

Elliott Kalan

[26:26] I think they recognize from the beginning

[26:28] that she has been physically and mentally disturbed

[26:31] by what's happened.

[26:32] But I think they see her as like,

[26:34] oh,

[26:34] we're going to have to take care of her the rest of her life.

[26:35] And we're trying to put a good face on it.

[26:37] Her mother's a nurse.

[26:38] And her mother's a nurse.

[26:38] So she's like,

[26:39] oh,

[26:39] this is a case of mummy monster-fication.

[26:41] I've dealt with this before.

[26:42] But I will say,

[26:43] it does take them a long time to recognize

[26:45] that something supernaturally evil is going on.

[26:48] Yeah.

[26:49] When,

[26:49] when,

[26:49] when there are,

[26:50] there's a part,

[26:50] we'll get to it later,

[26:51] where,

[26:51] where the mother is clipping her nails

[26:53] and accidentally pulls off a huge long strip of flesh

[26:55] from her daughter's leg.

[26:57] And she's just trying to like,

[26:57] kind of glue it back on or whatever.

[26:59] Like,

[26:59] it's,

[26:59] it's like,

[26:59] what are you doing?

[27:00] This is not supposed to happen.

Dan McCoy

[27:01] Almost like an exorcist spider walk at one point.

[27:06] I'm like,

[27:06] that's not normal behavior.

[27:08] No matter how traumatized you've been.

Stuart Wellington

[27:10] Come on.

[27:11] Okay.

[27:11] So they,

[27:12] the parents are notified.

[27:14] They're,

[27:14] they do a little yippee.

[27:15] They jump on a plane and fly back to Cairo.

Elliott Kalan

[27:18] People fly between Cairo and New Mexico so casually in this movie.

[27:22] That is a long ass flight.

[27:23] That would be a long flight.

Stuart Wellington

[27:24] Yeah.

[27:25] Yeah.

[27:25] No,

[27:25] the,

[27:26] this is back when the Concorde was running

[27:27] and it was running exclusively from Cairo.

[27:29] It was the Cairo Albuquerque.

[27:31] Direct route.

[27:32] Yeah.

[27:33] The two hubs.

[27:33] Yeah.

[27:36] The,

[27:36] so they notify the parents.

[27:39] They go over there.

[27:39] They find Katie.

[27:40] Obviously they are perturbed,

[27:42] but they're also happy to have their daughter.

[27:45] They're so glad to have her back.

[27:46] Yeah.

[27:46] And the authorities are like,

[27:47] yeah,

[27:48] it might just take a little while.

[27:49] Best thing to do is take her home.

[27:51] And,

[27:51] but the doctors are like,

[27:52] she's perfectly healthy.

[27:54] I don't,

[27:55] I like later on,

[27:57] we'll find out that she is not,

[27:59] that her skin is in fact like weird,

[28:01] parchment,

[28:02] but yeah.

[28:02] Okay.

[28:03] Dude.

[28:03] They didn't do a very thorough examination.

[28:06] They were probably,

[28:07] they probably had the heebie jeebies.

[28:08] Like,

[28:08] can we get her out of here?

[28:10] Yeah.

[28:10] She's cool.

Elliott Kalan

[28:11] You,

[28:11] you,

[28:12] you examine her.

[28:12] I don't want to examine her.

[28:13] You examine her.

[28:14] I don't want to do it.

[28:15] We'll just tell the parents we examined her.

[28:16] Yeah.

[28:17] The fact that they don't find that parchment is,

[28:19] is,

[28:20] is,

Elliott Kalan

[28:20] is little.

[28:21] Bazonkers.

Stuart Wellington

[28:22] Okay.

[28:23] So,

[28:23] uh,

[28:23] they take Katie home.

[28:25] Uh,

[28:25] the rest of the family is a little,

[28:26] uh,

[28:27] a little weirded out by her.

[28:29] They put her on a,

[28:30] the second floor,

[28:31] which is odd since she does need a wheelchair.

[28:33] I feel like they should have moved her,

[28:34] prepared a ground floor.

[28:35] They should have prepared a ground floor bedroom.

[28:37] Yeah.

[28:37] Um,

[28:38] but it means,

Elliott Kalan

[28:38] but it means that her flora can then bubble over with,

[28:41] with some kind of acidic bile scum.

[28:43] Yeah.

[28:44] Yeah.

[28:44] Mummy vomit.

[28:45] Um,

Stuart Wellington

[28:46] so Katie is basically catatonic.

[28:49] Uh,

[28:49] there's a moment where her,

[28:51] her grandmother is praying over her and she like headbutts her,

[28:55] which is,

[28:55] Hey,

[28:56] you know,

Elliott Kalan

[28:56] that receives no comment from the family.

[28:59] Nope.

[28:59] Like a bunch of those things happen and it never,

[29:02] no one seems to care.

Dan McCoy

[29:03] Mom's been on thin ice for a while.

[29:06] Somebody,

[29:07] somebody took her down a peg.

[29:08] Yeah.

[29:08] Finally.

Stuart Wellington

[29:09] Okay.

[29:10] So she,

[29:10] she's so great with her faith.

[29:12] But like,

[29:13] you know,

[29:13] she,

[29:14] uh,

[29:14] her,

[29:15] her body moves a little bit,

[29:16] let's say a little bit weird.

[29:18] Um,

[29:19] she performs,

[29:20] uh,

[29:21] initially small acts of self harm.

[29:23] Um,

[29:24] she manages to sneak into the walls and crawl around on the inside of the walls and gobble up a scorpion.

Elliott Kalan

[29:30] She finds really questions whether she needs that wheelchair since she seems to be moving around better than a normal person would be in a non mummy person.

[29:36] would be in the,

[29:37] in those hallways.

[29:39] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[29:39] Yes.

[29:39] I want to ask for you whether it's the same,

[29:41] like one of my top things that Bob,

[29:44] like I,

[29:45] you know,

[29:45] I'm pretty,

[29:47] uh,

[29:48] uh,

[29:48] desensitized at this point as a lifelong horror movie fan and watcher.

[29:53] I,

[29:54] but toenail stuff is,

[29:57] is a real problem.

[29:59] Okay.

[30:00] Now we're there.

[30:01] Finally,

Stuart Wellington

[30:01] we'll get to it.

[30:02] The toenail stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[30:03] I thought you were going to say children in harm,

[30:05] in which case I would say,

[30:06] yeah,

[30:06] I find that I,

[30:07] I,

[30:07] that is a little bit worse for me.

[30:09] I don't have children.

[30:09] It doesn't bother me.

[30:10] The toenails don't bother me that much.

[30:11] There was a certain point,

[30:12] there was a certain point in the movie where I was like,

[30:14] this is not making me upset because it is a movie about this.

[30:18] It's making me upset because young actors had to do these things on camera.

[30:22] And I don't like that.

Dan McCoy

[30:23] You know,

[30:24] that was something that was starting to upset me a little bit,

Elliott Kalan

[30:26] but that's because I'm a parent.

[30:27] I care about children.

[30:28] You guys,

[30:28] again,

[30:28] as childless,

[30:29] uh,

[30:30] adults,

[30:30] you think kids are somewhere between animals and refuse.

[30:33] So you don't worry about it.

Dan McCoy

[30:34] Yeah.

[30:35] It's weird.

[30:36] I'm,

[30:36] I'm the,

[30:37] uh,

[30:37] I'm the,

[30:38] I'm,

[30:39] I'm in the opposite direction actually.

[30:40] I mean,

[30:40] not that,

[30:41] I mean,

[30:41] maybe I'm too trusting,

[30:42] like certainly,

[30:44] uh,

[30:44] certainly being a child actor,

[30:46] like has fucked up a number of people.

[30:48] You were a child actor?

[30:49] So,

[30:49] uh,

[30:50] so maybe that is what I should be worried about.

Elliott Kalan

[30:52] But I was.

[30:53] I assume it's not the same,

[30:54] but like the,

[30:55] this is clearly the exorcist.

[30:56] And like the exorcist fucked up Linda Blair.

[30:58] Yeah.

[30:58] In a big,

[30:59] I mean,

[30:59] everyone who worked on that movie,

[31:01] it messed with them,

[31:02] but her especially.

[31:02] And so I'm like,

[31:03] so watching this,

[31:04] I'm like,

[31:04] uh,

[31:05] I don't,

[31:05] when,

[31:06] just,

[31:07] just having,

[31:07] having a little girl just repeating swears over and over again.

[31:10] Like,

[31:11] I don't love that stuff.

Dan McCoy

[31:12] I like to believe we've,

[31:14] learned something from all previous fuck ups,

[31:16] but maybe not.

[31:16] Maybe I'm.

Elliott Kalan

[31:17] I mean,

[31:17] I will not.

[31:18] And I,

[31:18] not knowing anything about the making of this,

[31:20] I'm not going to accuse Lee Cronin of doing what.

[31:22] Yeah.

[31:23] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[31:23] a Friedkin.

[31:23] Yeah.

[31:24] Yeah.

[31:24] Friedkin is bad to people.

[31:26] Like was bad to people.

Stuart Wellington

[31:27] They didn't call him wildly Cronin.

[31:29] No.

Dan McCoy

[31:30] I,

[31:31] but,

[31:31] but I was sort of perturbed by like,

[31:33] why did you have to take a movie about a mummy and make it about this little girl be tortured?

[31:39] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[31:39] Yes.

[31:39] Well,

[31:40] I think that,

[31:40] that was part of it.

[31:41] Don't worry,

Stuart Wellington

[31:41] there's a bunch of kids getting tortured in this.

[31:44] It just,

Elliott Kalan

[31:44] it feels,

[31:44] but it also feels,

[31:45] it feels like a weird way to take them.

[31:47] What it really feels like to me is they took a preexisting story and then attached a mummy element to it.

[31:52] Yeah.

[31:52] Or they just were like,

[31:53] well,

[31:53] what can we do with a mummy?

[31:55] Let's just like make one of the kinds of movies we normally make.

[31:57] And we'll just,

[31:58] again,

[31:58] we'll just attach a mummy element to it.

[31:59] They're not really,

[32:00] they're not really digging into and unearthing what's special about the mummy.

[32:03] So we're so excited about this.

[32:05] They're not really unwrapping the mummy to reveal what's unique about it.

Stuart Wellington

[32:07] Yeah.

[32:07] People heard us talking about the toenails.

[32:09] So let's get to that.

[32:09] Let's get to the toenails.

[32:10] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[32:14] This whole section,

[32:18] I was like,

[32:18] okay,

[32:18] this is pretty creepy and gross and like a little funny.

Stuart Wellington

[32:21] And then,

[32:22] so she's trying desperately to like pull,

[32:25] like clip this toenail.

[32:27] And the whole time,

[32:28] like the grandmother's just like telling some kind of random story.

[32:31] Yeah.

[32:32] And of course,

[32:32] in the process of clipping off this massive toenail on her big toe,

[32:36] it just pulls off a long strip of skin up her shin.

[32:41] Later on.

Elliott Kalan

[32:42] You're not using a toenail clipper correctly.

[32:44] And then we were affecting the skin behind the toenail.

Dan McCoy

[32:47] Well,

[32:47] yeah,

[32:47] the force should be sort of downward,

[32:49] not pulling toward you.

Elliott Kalan

[32:51] You're not supposed to be pulling the whole nail.

[32:53] I thought it was just going to be that she was going to start pulling nails off of her.

[32:56] I didn't expect the long strip of flesh.

[32:58] As bad enough as it is.

[32:59] Yeah.

[33:00] So.

[33:00] I never knew this about you,

[33:01] Dan,

[33:02] that toenails are a thing for you.

Dan McCoy

[33:04] I mean,

[33:05] just,

[33:05] I mean,

[33:05] not like,

[33:06] I don't have,

[33:06] I'm not grossed out by toenails,

[33:07] but I'm grossed out by.

[33:08] I'd hope not.

[33:09] Long claw toenails that then rip off your face.

Stuart Wellington

[33:14] I guess so.

[33:15] Like dew claws.

[33:16] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[33:17] It reminds me,

[33:17] what's the movie,

[33:19] what's the movie where the guy's teeth are coming out

[33:21] and he just can't stop pulling them out of his mouth?

[33:23] And you're like,

Dan McCoy

[33:24] he was.

[33:25] That's a bad dream I had.

Elliott Kalan

[33:26] No,

[33:27] there's some movie,

[33:27] I forget what it was,

[33:28] there's some movie where a guy,

[33:29] listeners write in,

[33:29] there's some movie where a guy,

[33:31] he realizes one of his teeth are loose

[33:33] and he just keeps pulling the rest of them.

[33:34] And I remember watching him being like,

[33:35] just stop pulling them,

[33:36] dude.

[33:36] Just stop removing them.

[33:37] You don't need to take all of them out.

[33:38] Probably,

Stuart Wellington

[33:39] I mean,

[33:40] I feel like we're not addressing root causes here.

Dan McCoy

[33:43] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[33:44] On the roots of the teeth.

[33:45] Yeah.

[33:45] No,

Dan McCoy

[33:45] I've definitely seen that scene.

[33:46] I know what you're talking about.

Elliott Kalan

[33:47] The fly is,

[33:47] the fly is just like one of them comes out,

[33:49] right?

[33:49] This was one where the guy just couldn't stop himself

[33:51] from removing all of his teeth.

Stuart Wellington

[33:53] Yeah.

[33:53] He's going to even it out.

[33:55] And then it's like,

[33:55] no,

[33:56] no,

[33:56] it's not even.

[33:56] Yeah.

[33:56] So it's like shaving his,

Elliott Kalan

[33:57] it's like cutting his own sideburns basically.

[33:59] Like,

Dan McCoy

[33:59] oh man,

[34:00] they're three inches above my ears.

[34:02] Finally,

[34:02] I'm rescued from the tyranny of teeth.

[34:04] He's saying to himself.

[34:05] And when they do track down.

Elliott Kalan

[34:06] I can finally go to an all smoothie diet.

[34:08] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[34:09] Well,

[34:09] when they do finally track down Katie,

[34:11] she is holed up in the walls using some kind of like metal to like scratch at the gaping wound on her leg.

Elliott Kalan

[34:19] She does a lot of going,

[34:20] we're like chattering the teeth a lot really fast.

Stuart Wellington

[34:22] Like a lot of scenes,

[34:24] she just ends.

[34:25] Yeah.

[34:25] And then nothing seems to have happened.

[34:26] Her legs all bound up.

Elliott Kalan

[34:27] It is,

[34:28] this movie,

[34:28] it's almost like at the end,

[34:31] they would finish editing a scene or writing a scene.

[34:33] And then they would just be like,

[34:35] let's set that aside.

[34:35] We don't need to look at that anymore.

[34:37] Where were we when that last scene ended?

[34:38] I don't remember.

[34:39] Let's just start over again from the beginning.

[34:41] And so these things keep happening and the parents have no reaction to them other than a general growing sense of anxiety.

[34:47] But you'd be like,

[34:47] well,

[34:47] the first thing you would do is take this girl to the hospital,

[34:50] right?

[34:50] When this is happening,

[34:51] like you call in help probably at this point.

Stuart Wellington

[34:53] These are all,

[34:54] these are all short episodes of the Lee Cronin's,

[34:56] the mummy Quibi program.

Elliott Kalan

[34:58] Yeah.

[34:58] This was,

[34:59] this was a vertical that they turned into a film.

[35:01] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[35:01] So what the fuck is going on?

[35:03] Guys.

[35:04] Well,

[35:04] let me tell you,

[35:05] uh,

[35:06] the,

[35:07] while inspecting the strips of flesh hanging from the wheelchair,

[35:11] Charlie discovers that there seems to be some kind of writing on the skin.

[35:15] What?

[35:15] From the,

[35:15] on the inside of the skin.

[35:16] So he starts to separate all the,

[35:18] he separates the skin.

[35:20] It turns out that the skin is not really skin,

[35:22] but like,

[35:22] like parchment or something covered in,

[35:25] uh,

[35:26] what appears to be hieroglyphics or,

[35:28] uh,

[35:28] we will later learn to be a language even older than hieroglyphics.

[35:31] Hieratic writing.

[35:32] Yeah.

[35:32] So he tracks down a college professor.

Elliott Kalan

[35:35] They had not yet invented pictures when they made this language.

[35:37] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[35:37] He tracks down the college professor.

[35:40] Uh,

[35:40] of course,

[35:40] probably this dude loves the band Nile.

[35:43] He's probably cranking,

[35:44] uh,

[35:45] annihilation on the wicked on repeat.

Elliott Kalan

[35:46] Evilist sounding voice that a college professor expert in a movie could possibly have.

Stuart Wellington

[35:51] Um,

[35:51] and he gives him the skin and he's like,

[35:54] well,

[35:55] looks like this stuff is like,

[35:57] it keeps mentioning this dude,

[35:58] uh,

[35:58] the Namoranian,

[36:00] uh,

[36:00] or Nazmaranian.

[36:02] Nazmaranian.

[36:03] Yeah.

[36:03] Nazmaranian,

[36:03] who's an ancient demon,

[36:04] uh,

[36:05] demon,

[36:06] you know,

[36:06] long before,

[36:07] uh,

[36:08] Christ,

[36:09] uh,

[36:09] a destroyer of families.

[36:11] And you're like,

[36:12] okay,

[36:12] I guess I know where this is going.

[36:13] Little on the nose.

Elliott Kalan

[36:14] Yeah.

[36:15] Now,

[36:15] this was,

[36:16] did it bother you?

[36:16] All that Nazmaranian doesn't really sound,

[36:18] I mean,

[36:18] it could be wrong.

[36:19] It doesn't really sound like an Egyptian sounding name to me.

Stuart Wellington

[36:21] Mm.

[36:22] Mm.

[36:22] It's probably a holdover from when this script wasn't about the mummy.

Elliott Kalan

[36:26] It's very possible.

[36:28] All right.

[36:28] Yeah.

[36:29] That's very possible.

Stuart Wellington

[36:30] Okay.

[36:30] So back home,

[36:31] uh,

[36:32] Charlie,

[36:32] uh,

[36:33] discovers that Katie in bed,

[36:36] her,

[36:37] she's chattering her teeth and she's doing m-m-m-morse code.

[36:41] So he goes downstairs.

[36:42] Not m-m-m-mummy code.

Dan McCoy

[36:44] He writes down her,

Stuart Wellington

[36:45] yeah,

[36:46] he tracks down,

[36:46] thank you.

[36:47] He tracks down the,

[36:48] uh,

[36:49] he,

[36:49] he writes down what she's chattering about,

[36:51] goes downstairs,

[36:52] uh,

[36:53] and he,

[36:53] he uses her old Morse code,

[36:56] uh,

[36:56] book to determine what she's saying.

[36:58] She's saying Layla over and over and over again,

[37:00] because that's her favorite song.

Elliott Kalan

[37:01] Every item in her Girl Scouts trunk,

[37:05] he has very little urgency until he's actually translating.

[37:08] And then the camera work and the editing are hilarious.

[37:10] You would think writing down something on paper was the most exciting thing that could ever happen.

[37:15] There's,

[37:15] it was,

[37:15] I was like,

[37:16] I love it.

[37:16] It's so,

[37:17] it's,

[37:17] it's so pulse pounding,

[37:18] but first he had to go through his trunk of memories.

[37:20] But anyway,

[37:21] it says Layla,

[37:21] her favorite song.

Stuart Wellington

[37:22] I hate to say Layla over and over doesn't,

[37:24] wasn't,

[37:25] doesn't equal the reveal I was hoping for with the intensity of this sequence.

[37:30] Like if it was like,

[37:31] help me,

[37:31] I'm trapped in here or something.

[37:32] I'd be like,

[37:33] okay,

[37:33] that works.

[37:34] But no,

[37:34] it's just a name over and over.

[37:35] If the dad was like,

Dan McCoy

[37:36] oh,

[37:36] she wants to see her friend Layla.

[37:38] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[37:40] I can't even keep track of my kids' friends anymore.

[37:43] He goes to his wife,

[37:43] do you know this Layla?

[37:44] Yeah,

[37:44] it's Katie's best friend.

[37:46] Do you not know who Layla is?

[37:47] I,

[37:48] I thought it was one of your work friends.

[37:49] Excuse me,

[37:50] do you not even listen to me when I talk about work?

Stuart Wellington

[37:51] I thought it was a world famous kidnapper.

[37:55] Turns out it is related to a kidnapper.

[37:57] So he reaches out to detective Zaki,

[38:00] who traces the information,

[38:04] the name and the,

[38:06] oh,

[38:06] and then she suggests,

[38:07] you know,

[38:08] it might be,

[38:08] it might be related to her disappearance.

[38:11] So he goes through a big trunk of letters that people had sent when she was missing.

[38:16] And he finds one that has,

[38:19] is covered in like the chocolate wrappers that,

[38:21] that Katie had been given.

[38:23] And it's from Layla saying,

[38:24] I wish this didn't have to happen to you.

[38:27] We'll later find out that this is written by the daughter of the wizard lady who had kidnapped her.

[38:32] The magician.

[38:33] The magician,

[38:35] sorry.

[38:35] Had,

[38:36] had befriended her.

[38:37] Well,

[38:37] she works at wizard magazine though.

[38:39] Oh,

[38:39] really?

[38:39] Wow.

[38:40] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[38:41] I wanted that job so badly when I was 14 years old.

Stuart Wellington

[38:44] Oh,

[38:44] man.

[38:45] I just wanted to be the casting guy who got to pick which celebrities,

Elliott Kalan

[38:48] which football players are going to play the X-Men.

[38:51] That all you have to do is figure out again,

[38:53] how are you explaining that Howie Long should be Venom,

[38:55] Glenn Danzig should be Wolverine,

[38:57] Jean-Claude Van Damme is Gambit.

[38:58] It's the same people every time.

Stuart Wellington

[38:59] Same people.

[39:00] Well,

[39:01] there's an art to it.

[39:04] So.

Elliott Kalan

[39:05] Tia Carrera,

[39:06] Psylocke,

[39:06] it's the same people every time.

[39:07] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[39:08] Okay.

[39:08] So this,

[39:09] they kind of work together and Detective Zaki finds that,

[39:15] traces it to a nectarine farm,

[39:17] which matches the crime scene of where she was abducted.

[39:21] She finds this nectarine farm in Aswan,

[39:24] Egypt.

[39:24] So she goes there and she finds this nectarine farm.

[39:29] And the family house that we saw at the beginning of the movie,

[39:32] she explores it.

[39:34] She goes down into the basement,

[39:36] very spooky style.

[39:37] Does she see the pyramid,

[39:39] the basalt pyramid?

[39:39] She finds the,

[39:40] the,

[39:41] the pyramid.

[39:42] She goes down.

[39:43] There's,

[39:43] but where's the sarcophagus?

[39:45] We obviously know it's gone.

[39:46] She,

[39:47] she kind of explores a little bit.

[39:48] And then as she comes up,

[39:49] this is classic.

[39:50] This is like classic scary video game moment because you go through the house

[39:54] initially.

[39:55] It's spooky,

[39:56] but there's no monsters.

[39:57] It's empty.

[39:58] But then when you come on the way,

[39:59] back,

[39:59] that's when the monsters show up.

[40:01] So you have to use your memory of what the house was like to get out.

[40:05] So when she gets up there,

Elliott Kalan

[40:07] which is not what happens in the movie.

[40:09] Like,

[40:09] I mean,

[40:09] she doesn't use her memory of the house to get out.

[40:11] She just shoots.

[40:12] She doesn't,

[40:13] I mean,

[40:13] she doesn't need,

Stuart Wellington

[40:14] she's got a gun.

Dan McCoy

[40:14] We got a gun.

[40:15] We got a gun.

[40:16] She selects gun.

[40:17] She selects gun.

[40:20] She hot keys it.

[40:21] She types use on monster.

[40:23] I didn't realize it was a point and click.

[40:24] It's an old one.

Elliott Kalan

[40:25] I didn't realize this was the Sam and Max hit the road,

[40:28] you know,

[40:29] of these,

[40:29] of this movie.

[40:30] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[40:30] So when,

[40:31] when,

[40:31] when she gets upstairs,

[40:33] the magician is returned.

[40:34] The magician attacks her with a knife,

[40:37] but she is shot.

[40:38] And the detective then sees the daughter Layla running away.

[40:42] She chases her.

[40:43] Layla is simply leading her to a old lunchbox that contains,

[40:48] that's buried out in the desert.

[40:50] On a cliff.

[40:51] On a cliff.

[40:51] A lunchbox that features a VHS tape.

[40:54] that's gotta be bad for the tape,

[40:56] right?

[40:56] Out there in the desert.

[40:57] It's not a good way to store it.

[40:58] No, yeah.

[40:59] So,

[40:59] I mean,

[41:00] those things don't last very long,

[41:01] right?

[41:02] But,

[41:02] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[41:02] they're not taken care of properly.

[41:04] They can last a good time,

[41:05] but putting them,

[41:05] burying them in the hot desert is not going to do that.

Stuart Wellington

[41:07] Yeah, yeah.

[41:08] So it's a VHS tape that just has Katie written on it.

[41:11] Uh-oh,

[41:11] this looks like evidence.

[41:13] Later on,

[41:13] she will interrogate this Layla.

[41:16] And Layla is missing her tongue

[41:18] because she spoke out against what was happening

[41:22] and reveals that it is all tied in with this family curse

[41:27] where they have to protect people from this Nazmaranian

[41:32] by transferring the spirit from one host to another host.

Elliott Kalan

[41:36] And then mummifying the host

[41:38] so that the Nazmaranian is trapped inside of that.

Stuart Wellington

[41:40] Trapped inside it.

[41:42] So,

[41:42] of course,

[41:43] Detective Zaki's got to hop on that Concord,

[41:45] head over to Albuquerque.

[41:47] Meanwhile,

[41:48] in Albuquerque,

[41:48] She doesn't go to Albuquerque the classic way,

Elliott Kalan

[41:50] which is burrowing under the ground.

[41:51] Yeah.

[41:52] Just leaving just a,

[41:53] you know,

[41:53] a line of dirt that pops up.

[41:55] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[41:56] So,

[41:57] uh,

[41:58] meanwhile,

[41:59] back home,

[41:59] uh,

[42:00] Katie,

[42:01] now the Nazmaranian,

[42:02] their powers are growing

[42:03] because they got some of their-

Elliott Kalan

[42:05] It's so funny if she's like,

[42:06] I call myself the Nazmaranian now.

[42:07] Like,

[42:08] does it seem weird to you

[42:08] that Katie signed her school papers,

[42:10] Nazmaranian?

[42:11] Nazmaranian.

Stuart Wellington

[42:12] Uh,

[42:12] her powers are-

[42:13] Should we look up,

Elliott Kalan

[42:13] look that up in Wikipedia?

[42:15] Nah,

[42:15] we don't need to look that up.

[42:16] We don't need to look that up.

Stuart Wellington

[42:17] Yeah,

[42:18] I mean,

[42:18] do you-

[42:18] Yeah,

[42:19] let's pick up a baby name book

[42:20] to see what the meaning of it is.

[42:22] Let's see what it means.

[42:23] Deathbringer,

[42:24] oh no.

[42:25] Destroyer of families.

[42:27] Nazmaranian,

Elliott Kalan

[42:29] that's beautiful.

[42:30] It's ancient Egyptian

[42:31] for destroyer of families.

[42:33] It doesn't sound ancient Egyptian.

[42:34] Uh,

[42:34] well,

[42:35] it is,

[42:35] according to the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[42:38] The,

[42:38] so,

[42:39] uh,

[42:39] Katie's powers are growing.

Elliott Kalan

[42:40] We had a demon reveal party

[42:41] for the baby.

Stuart Wellington

[42:43] Uh,

[42:43] so Katie,

[42:44] uh,

[42:45] first,

[42:45] uh,

[42:46] starts messing with

[42:47] the youngest child,

[42:48] Maude,

[42:49] and starts possessing her.

[42:51] She coaxes her over to her doorway

[42:53] with honey words

[42:54] and then licks her toes.

Elliott Kalan

[42:56] If you want to see

[42:57] Bea Arthur possessed by a demon,

[42:58] this is not the movie for you.

[43:00] I apologize.

[43:01] She would have been great

Dan McCoy

[43:01] in this role though,

[43:02] right?

[43:03] As a little girl?

[43:04] Yeah,

[43:04] I think so.

[43:05] It really starts off,

[43:06] like,

[43:07] the possession of the family though

[43:08] really starts off

[43:09] by just sort of making them

[43:10] like dicks.

Elliott Kalan

[43:11] I mean,

[43:12] that's what,

[43:12] I mean,

[43:12] she possesses Maude

[43:14] and basically just means

[43:14] that Maude just uses

[43:15] the C word a lot.

[43:16] Like,

[43:17] that's pretty much it.

[43:18] Um,

[43:19] and,

[43:19] yeah,

[43:20] I mean,

[43:20] it's not like,

[43:20] she doesn't,

[43:21] later she possesses

[43:22] the brother

[43:22] and it just means

[43:23] he just kind of skulks around.

[43:25] Andy,

Stuart Wellington

[43:25] Andy helps her,

[43:27] escape from some

[43:27] of her skin bindings.

[43:28] So,

[43:29] um,

[43:30] uh,

[43:31] then,

[43:31] uh,

Elliott Kalan

[43:32] later on.

[43:32] So was the idea,

[43:33] so wait,

[43:34] so was the idea that

[43:35] she's,

[43:36] starts getting really powerful

[43:38] because the mom,

[43:40] when she was clipping her nails,

[43:41] first started removing

[43:42] the bindings by accident?

[43:43] Yeah.

[43:43] Okay.

[43:44] Yeah.

[43:44] I think I was,

[43:45] I think until now

[43:45] I totally missed that,

[43:46] that that was a,

[43:47] that that was anything

[43:48] other than a creepy gross out

[43:49] that had any effect

[43:50] on the story.

[43:51] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[43:51] So later on,

[43:52] while the family's,

[43:54] uh,

[43:54] is doing other stuff,

[43:56] the grandma is spending

[43:57] some time with Katie alone.

Elliott Kalan

[43:58] They have lives outside

[43:59] of Katie's predicament.

[44:00] They can't just be hanging

[44:01] around the house all day

[44:02] being,

[44:03] what's up with Katie?

[44:03] Let me look at Katie.

[44:04] At that point,

Dan McCoy

[44:04] I think they're making excuses

[44:05] to get away from Katie.

Stuart Wellington

[44:07] You know,

[44:07] like,

[44:08] like Maude is at school

Elliott Kalan

[44:09] using the C word

[44:10] a bunch

[44:10] and getting in trouble.

[44:12] I could really use,

[44:12] a toothpick.

[44:13] Let me go run down

[44:14] to the grocery store

[44:15] and get,

[44:15] get some toothpicks.

[44:16] They come back.

[44:17] Oh,

[44:17] you know what we also needed?

Dan McCoy

[44:19] Batteries.

[44:20] Honey,

[44:20] are we out of lip balm?

[44:21] No,

[44:22] we've got a bunch of it.

[44:22] Well,

[44:23] we can't have too much.

[44:24] I gotta,

Stuart Wellington

[44:25] I should probably get more.

[44:26] It's pretty dry here

[44:28] in Albuquerque,

[44:29] right?

Elliott Kalan

[44:29] I should probably see.

Stuart Wellington

[44:30] Let me check the weather.

[44:31] Yep,

[44:31] it's gonna be dry tomorrow.

Elliott Kalan

[44:33] I should probably see

[44:34] if OfficeMax

[44:34] has that new printer paper in.

[44:37] Anyway,

[44:37] you've got Katie,

[44:38] right?

[44:38] Okay,

[44:39] bye.

[44:39] You'll handle Katie.

[44:40] See ya.

Stuart Wellington

[44:41] Thanks,

[44:42] grandma.

[44:42] On my phone,

[44:43] I saw that there's

[44:43] a new three-ply toilet paper.

[44:46] I should,

[44:46] I mean,

[44:47] it feels stupid

[44:47] not to go buy some.

[44:48] I should check that out.

[44:49] It's for the same price.

Dan McCoy

[44:51] An extra ply

[44:51] for the same price.

Elliott Kalan

[44:53] You said you wanted to try it.

[44:54] At the,

[44:55] at the CVS,

[44:56] they had,

[44:57] at the magazine stand,

[44:58] they had like a time-life special

[45:00] all about the history

[45:01] of Dungeons & Dragons.

[45:03] I should make sure

[45:04] there's still a copy of that.

[45:05] I want to,

[45:05] I wanted to get a copy of that.

[45:06] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[45:09] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[45:11] So,

[45:11] he comes home.

[45:12] So they're all doing that stuff.

[45:14] I just remembered

[45:15] they had one about Sherlock Holmes too,

[45:17] just the history of Sherlock Holmes.

[45:18] It's a special,

[45:19] you know,

[45:19] it's not like a real magazine.

[45:21] It's just kind of like

[45:21] a special issue

[45:22] that's all about this one thing.

[45:24] It's not quite a book,

Dan McCoy

[45:25] but it's not quite a magazine.

[45:27] It exists

[45:27] in a sort of

[45:28] liminal space.

[45:29] Let's call it a,

Elliott Kalan

[45:30] let's call it a magazine.

[45:32] Let's call it a magazine.

[45:33] I should probably get one of the,

[45:34] I should go back and get it.

Dan McCoy

[45:35] I should go patent

[45:36] magazine as I phrase.

Elliott Kalan

[45:38] I should go down

[45:39] to the copyright office

[45:40] and make sure

[45:41] that the word magazine

[45:42] hasn't been trademarked already.

[45:43] Yeah.

[45:44] Because I'm sitting

[45:44] on a gold mine right here

[45:45] and Katie's,

[45:46] with Katie's special needs,

[45:48] we need that money.

[45:48] So I'll just go down there.

[45:50] Oh,

[45:50] the local copyright office,

[45:51] the closest one is in,

[45:52] is actually in Arizona.

[45:53] Well,

[45:53] I guess you can handle Katie

[45:54] for a couple of days,

[45:55] right?

[45:55] I just got to head over

[45:56] and take care of this thing,

[45:57] you know?

Stuart Wellington

[45:58] And the lamination

[45:59] on my library card

[46:00] is peeling a little bit,

[46:02] so I should head over there

[46:02] and just refresh that bad boy.

[46:04] I should just get,

Elliott Kalan

[46:05] let's just get another one

[46:06] of those.

[46:06] I mean,

Dan McCoy

[46:08] reading's a lifelong journey,

[46:10] you know,

[46:10] and you've got to keep up.

Stuart Wellington

[46:12] And as I said,

[46:12] it's pretty dry around here

[46:14] and that can be nightmare

[46:14] on your lamination.

[46:15] Oh,

[46:16] yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[46:16] yeah.

[46:16] If that lamination

[46:16] comes off the card inside,

[46:18] it's going to get brittle.

[46:19] It's going to dry up

[46:20] and get brittle

[46:20] and we can't have that.

[46:21] Because what if,

[46:22] I mean,

[46:22] with this Katie situation,

[46:23] we need a lot

[46:25] specialized information

[46:28] and the library

[46:29] is the best source for that.

[46:30] I mean,

[46:30] really,

[46:31] it's America's greatest idea

[46:32] next to the national parks.

[46:35] I haven't been to a national park

[46:36] in a while.

[46:37] I should,

[46:37] you know what?

[46:38] I should,

[46:38] I could get in touch

[46:39] with nature again.

[46:40] That's why they're there.

[46:41] Yeah.

[46:42] You got Katie,

[46:42] right?

[46:43] Okay,

[46:43] cool,

[46:43] cool.

[46:45] Speaking of getting Katie,

[46:47] Katie uses this moment alone

[46:49] with her grandma.

[46:50] Get Katie,

Elliott Kalan

[46:50] get shorty.

[46:51] How long has it been

[46:51] since we saw Get Shorty?

[46:52] You love that movie.

[46:53] I'll just hop down

[46:54] to the video store

[46:54] and pick that up.

[46:55] And then I'll go to the library

[46:56] and get the book.

Stuart Wellington

[46:57] Did you know they made a TV show?

[46:59] Let's try it out.

Elliott Kalan

[47:01] It's technically streaming,

[47:02] but I should get the DVD set

[47:03] from the library.

[47:04] I feel like that's,

[47:05] that's,

Elliott Kalan

[47:05] that'll support them.

[47:06] That'll support them,

[47:07] yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[47:07] I should go to Hastings

[47:09] to see if they have a discount.

Elliott Kalan

[47:11] Elmore Leonard wrote a sequel

[47:13] to Get Shorty called Be Cool.

[47:15] I never read it.

[47:15] I should go to the bookstore.

[47:17] I bet they'll have it.

[47:18] They probably turned

[47:19] Elmore Leonard's house

[47:20] into a museum or something.

[47:21] I bet that's for sale

[47:21] in the gift shop.

[47:22] I should go over to Michigan

[47:23] and pick that up.

[47:25] Really support

[47:26] the Elmore Leonard Foundation.

Stuart Wellington

[47:29] So using this moment alone

[47:30] with grandma,

[47:31] Katie uses her magic powers

[47:33] to beat up grandma

[47:34] and torture her

[47:36] and then make her

[47:36] jump out the window

[47:38] where she crashes onto the hood

[47:41] of Charlie's arriving car

[47:43] which elicits many giggles

[47:45] from the possessed Maud.

[47:46] Yes.

[47:47] And then grandma-

[47:47] The others are horrified.

Elliott Kalan

[47:48] Are they horrified enough

[47:49] to think maybe there's something

[47:51] larger going on here?

[47:52] No.

[47:53] Not yet.

Dan McCoy

[47:53] Nothing would indicate that.

[47:55] Yeah.

[47:55] And then she's dragged off-

[47:56] Grandma didn't seem like

[47:57] she was going to jump out the window

Stuart Wellington

[47:58] but I don't know.

[47:59] No, you don't know her.

Elliott Kalan

[47:59] She does all kinds of stuff.

[48:01] You can't control her, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[48:02] She's then dragged off

[48:03] the hood of the car

[48:03] by angry wolves

[48:05] who disembowel her

[48:06] while she's still alive.

[48:07] Not wolves, coyotes.

Elliott Kalan

[48:09] Coyotes, my mistake.

[48:09] And this is another thing

[48:09] that I found very funny

[48:10] was they go out,

[48:11] there's a bunch of angry coyotes

[48:13] baring their teeth at them

[48:14] and just at their house

[48:15] and they're like,

[48:16] oh, let's ignore this.

[48:17] And I found it funny

[48:17] for two reasons.

[48:18] One, don't leave the house

[48:19] if there's a pack of angry animals

[48:21] of any kind waiting for you.

[48:22] Two, I deal with coyotes a lot

[48:24] in my everyday life.

[48:25] I see them a lot in person.

[48:26] Yeah, you say meep meep

[48:28] and run away from them.

[48:28] I do.

[48:29] Well, the thing is,

[48:30] all I have to do

[48:30] is paint a road

[48:31] on the side of a big boulder

[48:33] and they just slam themselves

[48:34] into that, you know.

[48:35] But coyotes are particularly,

[48:37] unless they are sick in some way,

[48:39] they're particularly meek animals.

[48:41] They are not looking for a fight

[48:42] and they're very easy

[48:42] to get along with.

[48:43] So then they're like,

[48:44] uh-oh, coyotes.

[48:45] I was like,

[48:45] there must be a scarier animal

[48:46] for them to bring in

[48:47] than coyotes.

Stuart Wellington

[48:49] Yeah, but I would imagine

[48:50] these ones are like

[48:51] magically driven by the will

[48:54] of Nazmaranian.

Elliott Kalan

[48:55] They're magically maddened

[48:56] by the Nazmaranian.

Stuart Wellington

[48:57] So it is,

[48:58] that is a pretty,

[48:59] that's a fun gross out

[49:00] where the mom runs up

[49:01] to the window,

[49:01] looks down,

[49:02] sees her mother being

[49:03] disembodled by coyotes

[49:04] and her mother's like

[49:06] screaming while it's happening.

[49:07] that's pretty crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[49:08] This is pretty intense.

[49:10] Luckily, it's over.

[49:11] The madness is done.

[49:13] Yeah, that's the last

[49:14] of the gross crazy scenes.

[49:15] It is a very intense scene.

[49:17] I ought to say,

[49:18] like this movie works

[49:20] in certain scenes

[49:21] in terms of like

[49:22] over the top,

[49:23] gross out.

[49:23] Oh, that's more extreme

[49:24] than I thought.

[49:25] Again, does it work

[49:25] as a mummy movie?

[49:27] This is where I have

[49:27] my main issues.

Stuart Wellington

[49:29] No, it's very much,

[49:30] this is very much

[49:32] the evil dead

[49:33] poking through.

Elliott Kalan

[49:34] Yes, I will also say

[49:35] that most of the bad things

[49:37] that happen

[49:37] happen to children,

[49:39] women,

[49:40] older women,

[49:41] which is again

[49:42] like the most vulnerable

[49:43] members of the family

[49:44] in some ways.

[49:45] I don't, again,

[49:46] don't love that.

[49:47] Not down with that.

[49:47] Things I enjoy

[49:48] watching for fun.

[49:50] I would so much

[49:50] rather see a male body

[49:52] which can handle

[49:52] a bunch of,

[49:53] you know,

[49:53] a guy in the prime

[49:55] of his life,

[49:55] real fit,

[49:56] a grown-up dude.

[49:56] I'd so much rather

[49:57] see him get ripped apart.

Dan McCoy

[49:58] A Bruce Campbell,

[49:59] you're saying.

[50:00] A Bruce Campbell.

Elliott Kalan

[50:01] Yes, exactly.

[50:02] Than an old woman

[50:04] or a child.

[50:05] Old men,

[50:07] that's a little bit

[50:08] of a gray area.

Dan McCoy

[50:10] There are certain

[50:11] old men.

[50:12] I would love to see

[50:13] you get ripped apart

[50:14] by coyotes.

Elliott Kalan

[50:14] I mean,

[50:15] if we can choose

[50:16] who's going to get

[50:16] ripped apart,

[50:17] then yeah,

[50:17] for sure.

Stuart Wellington

[50:17] Can we do some

[50:19] libel here?

[50:19] Can we get in trouble?

[50:20] Can we say some

[50:21] crazy shit here?

[50:22] I mean,

[50:22] it's not libel.

[50:23] Can we start

[50:24] naming names?

[50:25] Can we say

[50:25] anyone in particular?

Dan McCoy

[50:27] I just said

[50:27] there's certain people.

[50:28] Certain people.

[50:29] Certain people

[50:30] ruining certain things.

[50:33] For certain everyone.

Elliott Kalan

[50:37] Certain bad people

[50:39] doing bad things

[50:40] who are bad.

[50:41] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[50:42] And, you know,

[50:43] coyotes.

Stuart Wellington

[50:44] Yep.

[50:45] Okay, so of course

[50:46] you gotta have a funeral.

[50:48] So we have a funeral.

[50:48] Again, coyotes are not

[50:49] the animals you're gonna

[50:49] want to use for that though.

[50:50] No, that's true.

[50:51] Luckily,

[50:52] they decide to have

[50:53] the funeral at home,

[50:54] which is perfect for chaos.

[50:57] Chaos Katie is gonna

[50:58] work her magic.

[50:59] I actually feel like

[51:00] this sequence

[51:01] would have been

[51:01] way more fun

[51:02] if they had gone

[51:03] to a funeral home.

[51:04] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[51:05] It would have also

[51:06] made more sense

[51:07] why they then are able

[51:08] to kind of shrug it off

[51:09] a little bit afterwards.

[51:10] You handle this.

[51:11] Yeah.

[51:11] But this is when

[51:13] the movie,

[51:13] I wish it had gone

[51:14] even a little further

[51:15] because it starts getting

[51:15] into like dead alive

[51:16] territory here

[51:17] in terms of like

[51:18] the just over the topness

[51:20] of what's going on.

Stuart Wellington

[51:21] Okay.

[51:21] So during the funeral,

[51:24] the Katie is locked up

[51:27] in her room.

[51:28] I think,

[51:28] you know,

[51:30] parents know

[51:31] something bad's going on.

[51:33] Maude is downstairs

[51:34] pulling her teeth out

[51:36] one by one

[51:36] and spitting blood

[51:37] all over the deviled eggs.

[51:40] And then...

Elliott Kalan

[51:42] That shows there's a demon

[51:43] in the house

[51:43] because those aren't just eggs.

[51:44] Those are deviled eggs.

[51:46] Oh.

[51:46] Even the eggs

[51:47] are filled with evil.

[51:48] It's a little Easter egg for you.

[51:49] Sebastian hears Katie's...

[51:50] Not an Easter egg, Dan.

[51:51] Easter egg represents rebirth

[51:52] and the promise of Christ.

[51:54] Yeah, for new life.

Stuart Wellington

[51:55] I think Sebastian starts hearing

[51:56] Katie's voice in his head

[51:58] around now

[51:58] or maybe that's later.

[51:59] I didn't write that part down.

[52:00] No, that is around now.

Elliott Kalan

[52:01] He's like guarding her room

[52:03] but then he starts hearing

[52:04] her voice in his head.

Stuart Wellington

[52:05] Yeah, yeah.

[52:06] And then he like

[52:06] puts on headphones

[52:07] and he's still hearing her voice.

[52:09] Yeah.

[52:10] Okay.

[52:10] He was listening to that one album

Elliott Kalan

[52:11] that she put out

[52:12] after she became a mummy.

Stuart Wellington

[52:13] So now that all of Maude's teeth are out

[52:16] she goes over to Grandma

[52:18] and she pulls out Grandma's dentures

[52:21] and then starts attacking a man,

[52:24] an old man

[52:25] and then Katie has punched a hole

[52:29] through the floor

[52:30] and dragged her like spider demon body out

[52:33] and she runs over

[52:34] and jumps into the coffin

[52:36] and starts devouring Grandma.

[52:39] Yeah.

[52:39] And yeah,

[52:41] and then they like

[52:42] everybody screams

[52:43] and then it's just kind of done.

Dan McCoy

[52:46] Katie,

[52:46] the coyotes already ate the best part.

[52:48] Yeah.

[52:48] That's the teller.

[52:49] You're stuck with the leftovers.

Elliott Kalan

[52:51] The coffin falls over

[52:52] and Katie is just licking,

[52:54] lapping up human remains off the ground.

[52:56] Oh, human embalming fluid.

[52:58] Embalming fluid, yeah.

[52:59] Because she's a mummy.

[53:01] She loves that stuff.

[53:02] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[53:02] If she was a mummy character

[53:04] in a video game

[53:05] that would replenish her health bar

[53:07] by licking up embalming fluid.

[53:09] That is the barbarian,

[53:10] the equivalent of a barbarian's turkey leg.

Elliott Kalan

[53:12] Yeah, yeah.

[53:13] In Lee Kronin's The Mummy for the SNES.

[53:16] That would be exactly how it works.

[53:17] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[53:18] Where you get to play as the mummy,

[53:20] which is, you know,

[53:20] it seems like a misunderstanding of the text,

[53:24] but I think it works.

Elliott Kalan

[53:25] So, so let's, yeah,

[53:28] because this is the moment,

[53:29] this was the moment where the movie broke for me

[53:31] to a certain extent,

[53:32] which was that you have had

[53:34] this very public disaster funeral

[53:36] where one daughter is,

[53:39] has attacked a man.

[53:40] The other daughter is eating

[53:42] the corpse of the grandmother

[53:43] and people are screaming.

[53:45] Everyone's seen it.

[53:46] The floor is a mess.

[53:47] And then they cut to that night

[53:49] and it's like,

[53:50] oh boy,

[53:50] what are we going to do about Katie?

[53:52] It's like,

[53:52] wait a minute.

[53:53] Rough day, huh?

[53:54] You're telling me that like,

[53:56] nobody called child protective services,

[53:58] the police,

[53:59] the room is still not messy.

[54:01] Like, did they clean it up?

[54:02] Like, this is the kind of thing that

[54:04] if it happens in front of the public,

[54:06] there's no way you just have an evening after that.

[54:09] I find it so funny

[54:10] that it was like,

[54:10] it was like the end of a sitcom.

[54:12] That's our Katie.

[54:13] And then the next episode,

[54:14] they reset right to the beginning,

[54:15] you know?

Stuart Wellington

[54:16] So they, of course,

[54:17] are hanging around the house

[54:20] when just hanging around.

[54:22] They're not getting invited anywhere.

[54:23] They're prized after that funeral.

[54:24] At this point,

[54:25] Katie has been firmly tied up to her wheelchair

[54:29] and Maude is locked somewhere.

Elliott Kalan

[54:32] What was that?

[54:32] Do you think they still went to the burial?

[54:34] Like, they had a car procession.

[54:35] They were like,

[54:35] all right,

[54:36] get her back in the box.

[54:37] I mean,

[54:38] Grandma shows back up later,

Stuart Wellington

[54:39] so we don't know.

[54:40] Yeah, that's true.

[54:41] Maybe they just left the coffin there.

[54:42] Yeah.

[54:43] So Detective Zaki shows up

[54:46] fresh from her Concorde flight

[54:48] and she's like,

[54:49] you guys got to watch this video.

[54:52] calm down.

[54:53] Like,

[54:54] there's time to watch videos later.

[54:55] But she's like,

[54:56] no,

[54:56] you got to watch this video.

[54:57] So she makes...

Elliott Kalan

[54:58] Not since my dad showed me RoboCop

[55:00] when I was eight,

[55:01] seven,

[55:01] eight years old

[55:02] has someone been so excited

[55:03] to show a videotape

[55:04] to somebody else.

[55:05] Yeah.

[55:05] So she runs in there

[55:07] and they...

[55:07] It would be so funny

[55:07] if she was like,

[55:08] you guys got to watch this video

[55:09] and it's just her doing

[55:10] six skate tricks.

[55:11] She's like,

[55:12] check this out,

[55:12] check this out.

Stuart Wellington

[55:14] Yeah,

[55:14] yeah,

[55:14] yeah.

[55:14] It's,

[55:15] yeah,

[55:15] this guy's going to do

[55:16] a quick flip.

[55:17] Look at this edit

[55:18] that this guy did

[55:19] where he throws shoes

[55:20] up in the air

[55:20] and suddenly

[55:21] they're on his feet.

[55:24] The...

[55:24] So she makes them

[55:26] watch this videotape,

[55:27] which is,

[55:28] we've been dying for,

[55:29] what happened to Katie?

[55:30] So we basically

[55:31] just see the ritual

[55:32] where the magician

[55:35] has a bunch of people

[55:37] and they tie Katie

[55:37] to a board

[55:38] and then they suspend her

[55:40] over a mummy

[55:41] and then they do

[55:42] some chanting

[55:43] and then the mummy

[55:44] barfs like black stuff

[55:47] into Katie's mouth

[55:49] upside down.

[55:50] For a long time.

[55:51] And then they're like,

[55:52] okay,

[55:53] good to go.

[55:53] Let's tie her up

[55:54] and let's mummify this one.

[55:55] Takes a lot to make a moment.

[55:56] Close the sarcophagus.

[55:57] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[55:58] Would you say,

[55:58] now is the presence

[55:59] of the demon

[56:00] as a sort of liquid

[56:01] that can transfer

[56:02] a person to person?

[56:03] Is that a reference

[56:04] to Prince of Darkness

[56:05] and the kind of liquid devil?

[56:06] Or the hidden.

[56:08] Or the hidden.

[56:09] But the hidden

[56:09] is like not a liquid.

[56:10] It's an alien

[56:10] that lives inside your throat.

Dan McCoy

[56:12] It's sponsored content

[56:14] for liquid death.

[56:15] Oh, is that what it is?

[56:16] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[56:17] The water that's finally cool.

[56:19] Finally water that's awesome.

Stuart Wellington

[56:20] It's pretty cool though, right?

[56:21] It's got a skull on it.

[56:22] It's got a skull in the can.

[56:23] The coolest thing.

[56:24] I mean, the thing is

[56:25] is that it normally,

[56:27] you know,

[56:27] water is a foundational element

[56:29] of life.

[56:30] I'm like,

[56:30] water's for pussies.

[56:31] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[56:34] Finally, there's a water

[56:35] with enough tea

[56:36] that Pete Hegseth

[56:37] can drink it.

Stuart Wellington

[56:38] Yeah, there's some water

[56:39] that I'll put some hair

[56:40] on your scrote, Dan.

[56:42] Finally.

Elliott Kalan

[56:42] Finally.

[56:43] People with Dan's

[56:44] been complaining

[56:44] about his bald scrote

[56:45] all these years.

Dan McCoy

[56:47] I've been dehydrated

[56:48] all these years

[56:49] because water

[56:49] isn't manly enough

[56:50] for me.

[56:50] Uh-huh.

[56:52] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[56:53] Yeah, you finally

[56:53] want to use that,

[56:54] uh, what,

[56:55] that manscaped,

[56:56] uh, ball shaver

[56:57] or whatever.

[56:58] Yeah.

[56:58] Um, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[56:59] Dan's only been drinking

[56:59] male urine

[57:00] because it's water

[57:01] that's gone through a man

[57:02] and therefore

[57:03] received some male essence.

[57:04] Yeah.

[57:04] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[57:05] Mm-hmm.

[57:05] So, uh,

[57:06] they watch this cool video.

[57:08] Meanwhile,

[57:09] some stuff's going on.

[57:10] Uh, Sebastian gets-

[57:12] Some cool stuff's going on.

[57:13] Sebastian gets loose

[57:15] and he, uh, you know,

[57:16] he's possessed.

[57:17] He's possessed.

[57:17] So he goes in there

[57:18] to start, uh,

[57:19] letting Katie out.

[57:21] Um, Maude is just, like,

[57:22] ramming her head

[57:22] against the door.

[57:23] Um, Grandma shows up

[57:25] and starts attacking them.

[57:26] Uh, they are all,

[57:28] they're basically, like,

[57:29] running up and down stairs.

[57:31] Grandma's, like,

[57:31] uh, evil dead zombie

[57:32] type thing

[57:33] and she spits a,

[57:34] uh,

[57:36] she spits a scorpion

[57:38] into, uh,

[57:40] Detective Zaki's mouth.

[57:41] The scorpion then

[57:42] sticks its stinger

[57:43] through her trachea.

[57:44] Yeah.

[57:45] And then she, like,

[57:46] pulls it out

[57:47] and kills it, I think.

[57:49] It was,

[57:49] it's pretty gnarly.

[57:50] Um, and they, uh,

Elliott Kalan

[57:53] That, that pierced trachea

[57:54] is going to cause her

[57:55] some trouble

[57:55] a little bit later.

Stuart Wellington

[57:56] Yeah, a little bit later.

[57:57] So they, uh,

[57:58] they run around.

[57:59] Eventually, uh,

[58:01] I mean, eventually,

[58:02] it was,

[58:03] in all the hijinks,

[58:04] Katie's, like,

[58:04] chasing them around.

[58:05] There's a ton of sand

[58:06] everywhere,

[58:07] which just kind of

[58:07] makes everything look shitty.

[58:09] It's gonna get every place.

[58:10] Yeah, it's gonna get everywhere.

[58:10] I hate it.

[58:11] Yeah, I hate it.

Elliott Kalan

[58:12] It's so rough.

[58:13] It's not at all

[58:13] like Natalie Portman's skin.

[58:14] No.

Dan McCoy

[58:16] The opposite.

[58:17] You know,

[58:18] anyone who doesn't

[58:19] understand the reference

[58:20] is gonna be

[58:21] so confused

[58:21] by you saying that.

[58:23] That's a very creepy

Stuart Wellington

[58:24] thing to say

[58:24] if you're not familiar

[58:25] with these Star Wars prequels.

[58:27] Yeah.

[58:27] Flint Marco

[58:27] must have been watching

[58:28] Attack of the Clones

[58:29] and been like,

[58:30] what the fuck?

Dan McCoy

[58:31] I feel personally

[58:33] attacked.

[58:35] You don't need to

[58:36] subtweet me

[58:37] with this whole movie.

Elliott Kalan

[58:38] So you're saying

[58:39] I've got no chance

[58:40] with you,

[58:40] Hayden Christensen?

[58:41] Well, fine.

[58:42] And he pulls all the posters

[58:43] off his wall, yeah.

[58:44] He pulls his

[58:45] Shattered Glass poster

[58:46] off the wall.

[58:47] It's a good movie.

[58:48] Shattered hopes.

[58:50] So eventually...

[58:52] Shattered Glass

[58:52] is a good movie.

Stuart Wellington

[58:53] It's a good movie.

[58:54] Eventually,

[58:55] Charlie is wrestling

[58:57] around with his daughter

[58:58] and Detective Zaki

[59:01] uses her hand

[59:02] to hold her trachea

[59:03] together enough

[59:04] so that she can then

[59:05] recite the magic words

Elliott Kalan

[59:07] that she memorized

[59:09] watching the tape.

[59:09] Matu, Barata,

[59:11] Nickto.

[59:12] I liked her having

[59:12] to push her trachea

[59:14] back into place.

[59:15] I thought that's great.

[59:15] I thought it was unrealistic

[59:16] that she had memorized

[59:18] the spell already

[59:19] after watching VHS,

[59:20] maybe twice, you know?

[59:22] Was she practicing it

[59:23] on the plane?

Stuart Wellington

[59:24] Yeah, probably.

[59:25] She brought a little

[59:26] VHS player on the plane

[59:28] to watch.

[59:28] Yeah, probably, yeah.

[59:30] So, and of course,

[59:32] after reciting the words,

[59:33] Katie then barfs stuff

[59:34] all over her dad's face.

[59:36] Which, to be honest,

Elliott Kalan

[59:37] that's gonna happen

[59:38] if you're a dad.

[59:39] Your kid will barf

[59:40] all over you at some point.

[59:41] It's gonna get in your mouth.

[59:43] You know,

[59:43] it'll turn you into a demon mummy.

[59:44] It's gonna happen.

Stuart Wellington

[59:45] They transferred

[59:46] the Nazmaranian

[59:47] to Charlie.

[59:49] Flash Forward.

[59:51] Don't sing

Elliott Kalan

[59:51] Cheer Up Charlie to him.

[59:52] He will not.

[59:53] He has a Nazmaranian inside of him.

Stuart Wellington

[59:54] Katie is basically

[59:55] healed and normal again.

[59:57] The kids seem okay.

[59:59] The kids are all right.

[1:00:00] Charlie, of course,

[1:00:01] is living inside

[1:00:02] of a black basalt sarcophagus

[1:00:04] that they brought over

[1:00:06] from Cairo

[1:00:07] because they're putting

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:08] in their basement.

[1:00:09] The import paperwork

[1:00:11] must have been a nightmare

[1:00:12] to bring that basalt sarcophagus

[1:00:14] over from Egypt.

[1:00:15] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:15] And also, like,

[1:00:16] that would have taken forever.

[1:00:18] It would take so long.

[1:00:19] Like, I hope

[1:00:19] the mummification

[1:00:20] holds pretty well.

[1:00:22] I mean, maybe they

Dan McCoy

[1:00:22] made a new one.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:24] Maybe they made a duplicate.

[1:00:25] Yeah, those are just lying around.

[1:00:27] You can just go out

[1:00:28] to the store.

[1:00:29] I said made him one.

[1:00:30] I didn't say bought him one.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:32] Yeah, they went to Tomb Depot

[1:00:33] and just bought a basalt sarcophagus.

[1:00:35] And you're like,

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:36] okay, well,

[1:00:36] I guess he's gonna be,

[1:00:37] he's the new host.

[1:00:38] What are they gonna do with that?

[1:00:39] So, of course,

[1:00:40] we then cut to-

[1:00:41] Mummy episode four,

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:42] a new host, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:43] We then cut to a hospital in-

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:46] And here's the thing.

[1:00:48] If they ended the movie with,

[1:00:49] they just have forever,

[1:00:51] their dad exists in a sarcophagus,

[1:00:53] is just a mummy.

[1:00:54] Now this family has defeated the curse,

[1:00:56] but at great sacrifice.

[1:00:57] I'm like, you know what?

[1:00:57] I didn't love this movie.

[1:00:58] Now this family has two mummies.

[1:00:59] But that is a,

[1:00:59] but that is a good horror movie ending.

[1:01:03] That's something,

[1:01:03] there's a traumatic scar

[1:01:05] on this family now

[1:01:06] because of his experience.

[1:01:08] That's a good horror movie ending.

[1:01:09] But no, no, no, no, no.

[1:01:10] This is the American family.

[1:01:12] Nothing bad can happen to them

[1:01:13] in the long run.

[1:01:14] So, Stuart, what happens?

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:16] So they track down,

[1:01:17] we cut to a hospital in Egypt.

[1:01:19] The magician who had been shot

[1:01:21] has survived,

[1:01:22] but she is in this hospital prison

[1:01:25] or something.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:25] And she's being forced to listen

[1:01:26] to the song that her family

[1:01:27] was singing to

[1:01:28] on the radio earlier.

[1:01:29] She hates it.

[1:01:30] Drives her crazy.

[1:01:30] A very specific piece of torture.

[1:01:32] I don't know how they knew

[1:01:32] that she hated that particular song.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:34] And of course,

[1:01:35] the detective, Larissa,

[1:01:37] show up

[1:01:38] and they wheel in Charlie

[1:01:39] and he's all mummified.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:41] And he is the smuggest

[1:01:43] fucking looking mummy.

[1:01:44] The look on his face,

[1:01:45] I was like,

[1:01:46] come on.

[1:01:47] I don't like that.

[1:01:47] Like that the mummy himself

[1:01:48] is like,

[1:01:49] yeah, you're about to get yours, bitch.

[1:01:51] Like, hey, hey.

[1:01:51] You know, payback's a bitch, bitch.

[1:01:53] I was like,

[1:01:53] I don't like this at all.

[1:01:54] I don't like it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:55] This is the stand-up

[1:01:56] and cheer him home

[1:01:56] into the movie.

[1:01:58] And then, you know,

[1:01:59] they're going to start

[1:02:00] reading the words

[1:02:01] and he's going to start barfing

[1:02:02] and that's the end of the movie.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:04] Here's the other thing.

[1:02:05] Do I agree with

[1:02:07] the magician's,

[1:02:08] you know,

[1:02:09] tactics?

[1:02:12] Do I think that maybe...

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:13] Can't argue with the results, though.

[1:02:14] No.

[1:02:15] Do I agree with her tactics?

Dan McCoy

[1:02:17] Are there maybe

[1:02:18] more deserving hosts

[1:02:20] for a mummy demon

[1:02:21] than just some innocent girl?

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:23] Yeah.

[1:02:23] Sure.

[1:02:24] Many of them are in the government

[1:02:24] right now.

[1:02:25] Sure, yeah.

[1:02:27] But, I mean,

[1:02:27] she is trying to...

[1:02:28] What if some coyotes

Dan McCoy

[1:02:29] just got loose?

[1:02:30] She is trying to keep the world...

[1:02:32] That's all we're asking.

[1:02:33] She's just trying to keep

[1:02:34] the world safe

[1:02:35] from the mummy curse.

[1:02:37] Well, she's trying to save

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:37] her family from the mummy curse.

[1:02:38] She's part of a...

Dan McCoy

[1:02:39] Not all families, kind of.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:41] Not all families.

[1:02:41] But I will say that

[1:02:43] one of the things

[1:02:44] about this is that,

[1:02:45] I mean,

[1:02:45] it is supposed to be

[1:02:45] turned about, like,

[1:02:46] she took an innocent girl

[1:02:48] and she did this,

[1:02:50] so now it gets brought to her.

[1:02:51] But there is also

[1:02:53] this implication

[1:02:53] where it's like,

[1:02:55] if a non-American family

[1:02:56] has this curse,

[1:02:58] what are you going to do?

[1:02:59] If an American family

[1:03:00] has this curse,

[1:03:01] unacceptable.

[1:03:02] No, no, no, no, no.

[1:03:03] It is much better

[1:03:03] for someone in another country

[1:03:05] who is of another culture

[1:03:06] to have to deal

[1:03:07] with this punishment

[1:03:08] or this burden

[1:03:09] than for an American

[1:03:10] to do it.

[1:03:11] And that was one of those things

[1:03:12] where I was like,

[1:03:12] again,

[1:03:13] I can't tell

[1:03:14] if this movie's

[1:03:14] really racist.

[1:03:15] Like,

[1:03:16] not every Egyptian character

[1:03:17] in it is an evil magician,

[1:03:19] just one of the two

[1:03:20] most prominent characters

[1:03:21] in it.

[1:03:22] You have a heroic

[1:03:23] Egyptian character

[1:03:24] in the form

[1:03:24] of the police officer,

[1:03:25] but there's still

[1:03:26] that assumption

[1:03:27] of, like,

[1:03:28] when something happens

[1:03:28] to an American,

[1:03:29] it is much worse

[1:03:30] than when it happens

[1:03:31] to someone

[1:03:32] in another country.

[1:03:33] That's a dangerous principle.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:34] I feel like this last sequence

[1:03:36] feels like a tacked on

[1:03:37] after initial audience.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:40] That's my guess.

[1:03:41] Or the studio saying,

[1:03:42] it feels like a tacked on ending

[1:03:44] for sure.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:45] This is the thing

[1:03:45] that will rescue

[1:03:46] Lee Cronin's The Mummy,

[1:03:47] they said.

[1:03:48] Well, I think it does

[1:03:49] the scores.

[1:03:50] Laughing and singing a song

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:51] as opposed to sad.

[1:03:52] Skyrocket.

[1:03:53] I think,

[1:03:53] yeah,

[1:03:54] it leaves it on a higher note

[1:03:56] than the bleaker ending.

[1:03:59] And two,

[1:04:00] it also paves the way

[1:04:02] for another Lee Cronin's The Mummy.

[1:04:06] Well,

[1:04:07] will that happen?

Dan McCoy

[1:04:08] I don't know.

[1:04:08] Well, let's do our final...

[1:04:09] Only time will tell.

[1:04:10] Made money.

[1:04:11] Let's do our final judgments.

[1:04:13] As always, of course,

[1:04:15] is this a scummy mummy,

[1:04:16] a crummy mummy,

[1:04:18] or a yummy mummy?

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:19] Oh, you brought back

[1:04:20] all of our famous mummy categories.

[1:04:22] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:23] Yeah, it's just good.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:24] Which one did the Tom Cruise

[1:04:26] The Mummy get?

Dan McCoy

[1:04:27] Bad, bad.

[1:04:27] Yummy.

[1:04:28] I think he got crummy.

[1:04:30] Crummy mummy.

[1:04:31] Yeah, crummy mummy, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:33] Now, what's the difference

[1:04:34] between crummy mummy

[1:04:34] and scummy mummy?

Dan McCoy

[1:04:36] Scummy, in my mind,

[1:04:37] is good, bad.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:38] Oh, okay, okay.

[1:04:39] Because I would think

[1:04:39] scummy is worse than crummy.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:41] Yeah, but that's why

[1:04:42] it's so good.

[1:04:44] Scummy has a disreputable charm,

[1:04:46] whereas crummy is just lousy.

[1:04:48] I see.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:48] Just disappointing, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:49] Yeah.

[1:04:50] Yeah, yeah.

[1:04:50] They're not, like,

[1:04:51] talking about Mos Eisley

[1:04:52] being a hive of crumb

[1:04:54] and filthy.

[1:04:55] That's true.

[1:04:56] Because salacious crumb

[1:04:57] wasn't there at the time.

[1:04:58] Salacious crumb

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:58] and his brother are crumb.

[1:05:00] When salacious crumb

[1:05:01] is the most balanced

[1:05:02] member of the family,

[1:05:03] you got a problem

[1:05:04] in that family, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:05] They both have

[1:05:05] thickens, though.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:08] One of the funniest things

[1:05:10] about salacious crumb

[1:05:10] is his name is officially

[1:05:11] salacious B.

[1:05:12] Crumb.

[1:05:13] And in my son's

[1:05:14] Star Wars characters book,

[1:05:15] it points out,

[1:05:16] he is one of only

[1:05:16] two Star Wars characters

[1:05:17] with a middle initial.

[1:05:18] And I'm like,

[1:05:19] what does that middle initial

[1:05:20] stand for?

Dan McCoy

[1:05:22] You see other characters

[1:05:23] with a middle initial.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:24] The other one is

[1:05:24] Wicket W. Warwick

[1:05:26] or Wicket T.

[1:05:27] or whatever Wicket

[1:05:28] that Ewok's name is.

[1:05:29] So two characters

[1:05:29] you would least expect

[1:05:30] to have that kind of thing.

[1:05:32] To have middle names.

[1:05:34] You think,

[1:05:34] certainly,

[1:05:35] Senator Palpatine

[1:05:35] probably has a middle name.

[1:05:37] He doesn't have a first name.

[1:05:38] It's just Palpatine,

[1:05:39] you know?

[1:05:39] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:41] He must have a first name.

[1:05:43] It's Sheev, right?

[1:05:43] It's Sheev Palpatine.

[1:05:44] Oh, that's right.

[1:05:44] It is Sheev, yeah.

[1:05:47] I'm going to call this

[1:05:48] a crummy mummy.

[1:05:50] I will say that,

[1:05:52] like, you know,

[1:05:53] Lee Cronin has taken some shots

[1:05:55] for his name being in the title.

[1:05:57] It's so just,

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:58] I feel,

[1:05:59] there's no way that he,

[1:06:00] I mean,

[1:06:00] unless he demanded

[1:06:01] it in his contract,

[1:06:02] this has to be called

[1:06:02] Lee Cronin's The Mummy,

[1:06:04] which I doubt.

[1:06:04] Like, it sucks so bad

[1:06:06] to be put in that situation

[1:06:07] where it's like,

[1:06:07] am I going to turn down

[1:06:08] having my name in the title?

[1:06:10] I guess not.

[1:06:11] But like,

[1:06:11] this just opens him up

[1:06:12] for unnecessary criticism.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:14] No, and I,

[1:06:15] I will say,

[1:06:17] his first movie,

[1:06:18] Hole in the Ground,

[1:06:19] I liked Okay.

[1:06:21] I still haven't seen it.

[1:06:22] His Evil Dead movie

[1:06:24] is my favorite

[1:06:25] of the new three ones,

[1:06:27] I said,

[1:06:28] you know,

[1:06:28] because I do think it

[1:06:29] has the closest

[1:06:31] to a sense of fun

[1:06:32] in those movies.

[1:06:34] It definitely gets sillier

[1:06:35] as it goes on.

[1:06:35] Yeah.

[1:06:36] And the thing about this movie

[1:06:38] is like,

[1:06:38] there's stuff in it

[1:06:39] that like,

[1:06:40] I kept feeling like,

[1:06:41] well, I should like this.

[1:06:42] Like, at the end,

[1:06:43] when she is holding,

[1:06:45] like, putting a finger

[1:06:46] through a hole in her throat

[1:06:48] so she can talk

[1:06:49] because she's ripped

[1:06:51] a scorpion out of there,

[1:06:52] like,

[1:06:53] I should like it.

[1:06:54] But the thing is,

[1:06:56] my problem with this movie

[1:06:57] is it has set

[1:06:58] such a dour tone

[1:07:00] early on

[1:07:01] and has been

[1:07:02] so sort of like,

[1:07:04] draggy and unpleasant

[1:07:05] for most of it

[1:07:06] that it doesn't have

[1:07:07] the sense of like,

[1:07:08] fun I need

[1:07:09] for that gross stuff

[1:07:10] to do anything for me.

[1:07:11] Like,

[1:07:12] I have gotten

[1:07:13] so bored

[1:07:14] by the movie

[1:07:14] at that point.

[1:07:15] I find the parents

[1:07:16] to be like,

[1:07:17] such non-characters.

[1:07:18] I find everything

[1:07:19] to just be sort of unpleasant

[1:07:20] that I can't

[1:07:22] get into the stuff

[1:07:23] that is like,

[1:07:24] silly and gross.

[1:07:25] So,

[1:07:26] crummy for me.

[1:07:28] Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:29] Yeah,

[1:07:29] I'm gonna say

[1:07:30] that this is a crummy mummy.

[1:07:31] It,

[1:07:32] you know,

[1:07:35] again,

[1:07:36] it has some charms.

[1:07:38] There's some style

[1:07:39] that I like.

[1:07:40] It's very gross

[1:07:42] at times,

[1:07:42] which is fun.

[1:07:44] But yeah,

[1:07:45] I think it's a bit

[1:07:46] of a mess.

[1:07:47] I'm,

[1:07:47] the,

[1:07:48] I think one of the biggest

[1:07:49] things is just how

[1:07:50] little personality

[1:07:51] everything seems to have.

[1:07:53] Like,

[1:07:54] even,

[1:07:54] even this ancient,

[1:07:56] like,

[1:07:57] demon creature

[1:07:57] is just like,

[1:08:00] just basically becomes

[1:08:01] like a Freddy Krueger

[1:08:02] by the end,

[1:08:02] but not without,

[1:08:03] but without the charm

[1:08:04] of a Freddy Krueger.

[1:08:05] Without the style

[1:08:05] and the charisma,

[1:08:06] yeah.

[1:08:07] Yeah,

[1:08:07] and the hat

[1:08:07] and the glove

[1:08:08] and the whole energy,

[1:08:10] you know.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:11] I mean,

[1:08:11] if Freddy Krueger

[1:08:12] was not a child molester,

[1:08:13] he'd be,

[1:08:14] he'd be lovable.

[1:08:15] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:18] He'd be able

[1:08:18] to still get jobs

[1:08:19] in Hollywood.

[1:08:20] He wouldn't have

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:21] gotten canceled

[1:08:22] by those parents

[1:08:22] who killed him

[1:08:23] in a fire.

[1:08:26] That's a real cancel.

[1:08:28] Yeah,

[1:08:28] hard cancel.

[1:08:29] People are like,

[1:08:30] we canceled

[1:08:30] Leopardy Krueger.

[1:08:31] No,

[1:08:31] he's just gonna wait a while

[1:08:32] and then come back

[1:08:33] in dreams

[1:08:33] and kill our kids.

[1:08:34] Like,

[1:08:34] he's just gonna ride it out.

[1:08:36] Yeah.

[1:08:36] I agree.

[1:08:37] I also call this

[1:08:37] a crummy mummy movie.

[1:08:40] It's,

[1:08:40] like,

[1:08:41] I agree with you guys.

[1:08:42] There's some parts in it

[1:08:42] where you're like,

[1:08:43] I wish I'd gone farther

[1:08:44] into madcap,

[1:08:45] kind of like,

[1:08:46] bonkers territory,

[1:08:48] but it really,

[1:08:49] I don't like seeing,

[1:08:51] I really,

[1:08:51] there's just too much

[1:08:52] punishment meted out

[1:08:53] to children

[1:08:54] and the elderly

[1:08:55] in it for me.

[1:08:56] And,

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:57] I can't get over the fact

[1:08:58] that a big issue

[1:08:59] I have in the movie

[1:09:00] is the title,

[1:09:01] both the presumption

[1:09:02] of putting Lee Cronin's name

[1:09:04] so big

[1:09:05] when he does not have

[1:09:05] that huge body of work,

[1:09:07] but also,

[1:09:08] that it's not really

[1:09:08] a mummy movie.

[1:09:09] Like,

[1:09:09] it's not really about what's,

[1:09:11] instead of saying,

[1:09:12] well,

[1:09:12] what is it about the mummy

[1:09:13] that makes it a thing

[1:09:14] that has lasted

[1:09:15] as an idea

[1:09:16] for all this time,

[1:09:17] and they made so many

[1:09:18] other movies of

[1:09:18] that they just kind of

[1:09:19] slapped the name

[1:09:20] on an exorcist demon movie,

[1:09:21] which is a totally

[1:09:23] acceptable type

[1:09:24] of horror movie,

[1:09:25] but,

[1:09:25] call it the mummy,

[1:09:26] I want,

[1:09:27] put a mummy in there,

[1:09:28] you know?

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:29] Yeah,

[1:09:29] give me a mummy.

[1:09:31] Yeah,

[1:09:31] give me a desiccated skeleton

[1:09:32] covered in burial wraps.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:34] Well,

[1:09:34] not a desiccated skeleton,

[1:09:35] that's the thing,

[1:09:36] it's been preserved.

[1:09:37] Yeah,

[1:09:37] I guess you're right.

[1:09:38] They give me a half-preserved

[1:09:39] corpse covered in rags

[1:09:40] that comes back to life

[1:09:41] and maybe it wants

[1:09:42] a lost love,

[1:09:43] maybe it wants

[1:09:43] some other thing.

[1:09:44] Maybe you just stole

[1:09:45] its treasure

[1:09:45] and it wants its back.

[1:09:46] Yeah,

[1:09:46] it stole the treasure,

[1:09:46] dude.

[1:09:47] Yeah,

[1:09:47] come on.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:48] And then I'll

[1:09:48] stick an army

[1:09:49] of scarabs on you.

[1:09:50] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:52] So,

[1:09:52] do you think this mummy

[1:09:52] has sandstorm powers

[1:09:53] just because the mummy

[1:09:54] in the Brendan Fraser mummy

[1:09:55] movies had sandstorm powers?

[1:09:56] Yes,

[1:09:56] of course.

[1:09:58] Of course it is.

S4

[1:10:04] What is manners?

S5

[1:10:06] It's kind of a social dance

[1:10:07] that we've all agreed to.

[1:10:08] Who is manners?

[1:10:09] Well,

[1:10:09] we reference Emily Post a lot.

S4

[1:10:11] Why is manners?

S5

[1:10:13] Let's go back to royal etiquette.

S4

[1:10:15] Schmanners answers

[1:10:16] all these questions.

S5

[1:10:17] Through examining history,

[1:10:19] culture,

[1:10:19] literature,

[1:10:19] and more,

[1:10:20] we'll give you

[1:10:21] the ultimate insight

[1:10:22] on why we did it,

[1:10:23] how we do it,

[1:10:24] and why we still

[1:10:25] might do it today.

S4

[1:10:26] So,

[1:10:26] check us out every Friday

[1:10:27] on MaximumFun.org

[1:10:29] or wherever podcasts

[1:10:30] are found.

S5

[1:10:31] Manners Schmanners.

[1:10:32] Get it?

S6

[1:10:34] Good evening.

[1:10:37] Thanks for tuning in

[1:10:38] to 101.1 MaxFun.

[1:10:40] It's midnight here

[1:10:42] on Host to Coast

[1:10:42] and we've got Sarah

[1:10:43] from Michigan

[1:10:44] on Line 1.

S5

[1:10:45] Hi,

[1:10:46] I'm calling in

[1:10:47] for some help.

[1:10:47] I used to love reading,

[1:10:48] but between grad school,

[1:10:50] having kids,

[1:10:50] and the general state

[1:10:51] of the world,

[1:10:52] I can't seem to pick up

[1:10:53] a book and stick

[1:10:54] with it anymore.

S6

[1:10:55] Sarah,

[1:10:55] this is an easy one.

[1:10:56] Just listen to

[1:10:57] Reading Glasses,

[1:10:58] a podcast designed

[1:10:59] to help you read better.

[1:11:01] Bria and Mallory

[1:11:02] will get all the pressure,

[1:11:03] shame,

[1:11:03] and guilt

[1:11:03] out of your reading life.

[1:11:04] You'll be finishing books

[1:11:05] you love in no time.

S5

[1:11:07] Great.

[1:11:07] That sounds amazing.

[1:11:08] Also,

[1:11:08] I do think my husband

[1:11:09] is cheating on me

[1:11:10] with Mothman.

[1:11:10] Can you help me

[1:11:11] with that one?

S6

[1:11:11] Ooh,

[1:11:12] I don't think they cover that.

[1:11:13] Reading Glasses

[1:11:13] every Thursday

[1:11:14] on Maximum Fun.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:19] Hey,

[1:11:19] I don't think they cover that.

[1:11:20] Hey, folks.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:21] Today's podcast

[1:11:21] is brought to you

[1:11:22] by the good folks

[1:11:23] over at Squarespace.

[1:11:25] If you are listening

[1:11:26] to this podcast,

[1:11:27] you probably spend

[1:11:28] a lot of your time

[1:11:29] online.

[1:11:31] And you know,

[1:11:32] if you want to upgrade

[1:11:33] your experience,

[1:11:34] if you want to take things

[1:11:35] to the next level,

[1:11:37] that's right.

[1:11:38] You need your own website.

[1:11:41] Maybe you are running

[1:11:42] a small business.

[1:11:43] Maybe you are trying

[1:11:44] to get paid

[1:11:44] and send invoices

[1:11:46] and schedule things

[1:11:47] and provide all those things.

[1:11:50] Do online transactions.

[1:11:52] Have a website.

[1:11:53] Be a professional-looking person.

[1:11:55] Be a real individual.

[1:11:57] That's right.

[1:11:58] Squarespace is the place

[1:11:59] to go.

[1:12:01] I've always wanted

[1:12:02] to be a real individual

[1:12:03] and now I know how to do it.

[1:12:05] You can be,

[1:12:06] you can be,

[1:12:06] Dan,

[1:12:07] you can not only be

[1:12:07] a meatspace individual,

[1:12:09] but you can also be

[1:12:10] an online individual.

[1:12:11] Thank you.

[1:12:11] No,

[1:12:12] that sounds dangerous.

[1:12:13] Thanks to Squarespace.

[1:12:14] Do it, Dan.

[1:12:15] Go for it.

[1:12:15] Come on.

[1:12:16] Squarespace provides you

[1:12:17] with everything you need

[1:12:18] to have a professional-looking website,

[1:12:20] including the ability

[1:12:21] to make on-brand invoices,

[1:12:23] online payments,

[1:12:25] streamline your workflow,

[1:12:26] and they also provide

[1:12:27] a full suite

[1:12:28] of professionally designed templates

[1:12:30] so that you,

[1:12:31] who may not be

[1:12:32] a professional decorator,

[1:12:35] designer,

[1:12:36] et cetera,

[1:12:36] you can just pick and choose

[1:12:37] from the things

[1:12:38] that they are already

[1:12:39] providing for you.

[1:12:41] Now,

[1:12:42] it has intuitive

[1:12:43] drag-and-drop editing,

[1:12:45] beautiful styling options,

[1:12:46] unrivaled

[1:12:47] virtual design effects.

[1:12:49] You need no experience

[1:12:51] at all.

[1:12:52] I believe they're

[1:12:52] visual design effects.

[1:12:55] I said virtual.

[1:12:56] That's because I

[1:12:57] live in the virtual space

[1:12:58] and you can too

[1:13:00] by being online

[1:13:01] using Squarespace.

[1:13:03] So,

[1:13:04] head to

[1:13:04] squarespace.com

[1:13:06] slash flop

[1:13:07] for a free trial

[1:13:08] and when you're ready

[1:13:09] to launch,

[1:13:10] use offer code

[1:13:11] flop,

[1:13:12] that's F-L-O-P,

[1:13:14] to save 10%

[1:13:15] off your first purchase

[1:13:17] of a website

[1:13:17] or domain.

[1:13:19] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:20] Let's take a moment

[1:13:21] to recognize

[1:13:21] that the Flophouse

[1:13:22] is coming to you

[1:13:23] live in person

[1:13:25] in September

[1:13:26] if you live

[1:13:27] in Louisville,

[1:13:27] Kentucky

[1:13:28] or are living

[1:13:29] close to Louisville,

[1:13:30] Kentucky

[1:13:30] or have the ability

[1:13:31] to travel

[1:13:32] to Louisville,

[1:13:33] Kentucky

[1:13:33] by Friday,

[1:13:35] September 18th.

[1:13:36] We will be appearing

[1:13:37] live at the

[1:13:38] Whirling Tiger

[1:13:39] with special guest

[1:13:40] Howell Doughty.

[1:13:41] You may know him

[1:13:41] as Alex Smith.

[1:13:42] He's going to be with us

[1:13:43] at the show

[1:13:44] and we're going to be

[1:13:45] talking about what movie?

[1:13:46] The Most Glittering

[1:13:47] of Hall Movies.

[1:13:48] Literally,

[1:13:48] the title of it is

[1:13:49] Glitter,

[1:13:50] starring Mariah Carey

[1:13:51] as Glitter.

[1:13:53] I haven't seen it yet,

[1:13:53] so I don't know

[1:13:54] if that's the name

[1:13:55] of the character

[1:13:55] or something they invent

[1:13:57] or what,

[1:13:58] but we will be there.

[1:14:00] Invention of Glitter.

[1:14:01] It's like that

[1:14:02] Pop Tarts movie.

[1:14:03] It's how Glitter

[1:14:04] got made.

[1:14:04] Cherry Seinfeld's

[1:14:05] all over it.

[1:14:06] That's Friday,

[1:14:07] September 18th

[1:14:08] at the Whirling Tiger

[1:14:09] in Louisville, Kentucky.

[1:14:10] Tickets are available.

[1:14:11] Go to

[1:14:12] flophousepodcast.com

[1:14:13] slash events

[1:14:14] and you'll be able

[1:14:15] to buy tickets.

[1:14:15] I mean,

[1:14:15] I assume tickets

[1:14:16] are available.

[1:14:16] I actually don't know

[1:14:17] if they're still available.

[1:14:18] Go to

[1:14:18] flophousepodcast.com

[1:14:19] slash events,

[1:14:20] click on buy tickets

[1:14:21] and it will take you

[1:14:22] to where you can buy

[1:14:23] tickets to see us.

[1:14:24] Yeah,

Dan McCoy

[1:14:24] find out for yourself.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:25] It's our first ever show

[1:14:26] in Louisville.

[1:14:27] We're very excited about it.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:29] Come see that tiger whirl.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:33] As always,

[1:14:34] I have some personal plugs

[1:14:35] I'd like to mention.

[1:14:36] It's the same old ones

[1:14:37] as always.

[1:14:38] My comic book

[1:14:38] Barbarian Behind Bars

[1:14:39] from Mad Cave Studios.

[1:14:40] Those issues have come out,

[1:14:42] but you can go and pre-order

[1:14:43] the collected edition.

[1:14:44] Let's say you're a Dan McCoy,

[1:14:45] you don't like to buy

[1:14:46] the individual floppy issues,

[1:14:48] so you can go pre-order

[1:14:49] the collection

[1:14:49] and you'll get it.

[1:14:50] Too floppy.

[1:14:51] Yeah.

[1:14:52] In addition,

[1:14:53] talking about floppy issues,

[1:14:54] Harley Quinn from DC Comics,

[1:14:56] I'm still writing.

[1:14:56] It comes out every month.

[1:14:57] Each floppy issue,

[1:14:59] those get collected too,

[1:15:00] but you might as well

[1:15:00] buy the floppies.

[1:15:01] Why not?

[1:15:01] Enjoy it month to month.

[1:15:03] And of course,

[1:15:04] my book,

[1:15:04] Joke Farming,

[1:15:05] is available now

[1:15:06] in audiobook.

[1:15:07] You can listen to me

[1:15:08] read it to you

[1:15:08] or you can buy it

[1:15:10] as a regular book

[1:15:10] and read it yourself

[1:15:11] or you can get both

[1:15:13] and follow along with me

[1:15:14] as I go through the text

Dan McCoy

[1:15:15] with my own voice.

[1:15:17] And that's not floppy

[1:15:18] because you can hear it

[1:15:19] in your mind.

[1:15:19] Yeah, yeah.

[1:15:20] Yeah, exactly.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:21] Floppy issues

[1:15:21] is a definite subset

[1:15:22] of my therapy sessions.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:27] What are you talking about?

[1:15:28] We're great.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:30] Oh, Dan,

[1:15:31] why are you getting defensive

[1:15:32] at the concept

[1:15:32] that somebody might be

[1:15:33] talking about you?

[1:15:34] A therapy.

[1:15:36] Okay, and

[1:15:37] if you are

[1:15:38] in the New York area

[1:15:39] and you love me

[1:15:41] and or comics,

[1:15:42] you can come see me

[1:15:44] host a panel

[1:15:45] on the Adventure Zone

[1:15:47] graphic novel series

[1:15:49] which just published

[1:15:50] its final chapter.

[1:15:52] I'm moderating a panel

[1:15:53] on the Adventure Zone

[1:15:55] graphic novels

[1:15:56] along with

[1:15:57] special guests

[1:15:58] Carrie Peach,

[1:15:59] Ben Wilgus,

[1:16:00] Calista Brill.

[1:16:01] I'm very excited.

[1:16:03] This is at Flame Con,

[1:16:04] the world's greatest

[1:16:05] queer comics con

[1:16:07] and it's going to be

[1:16:08] on Saturday,

[1:16:09] August 15th

[1:16:10] at 4 p.m.

[1:16:12] at the New York

[1:16:13] Marriott Marquis Hotel.

[1:16:15] Don't show up at 5 p.m.

[1:16:16] You'll miss it.

[1:16:17] You'll just be seeing me

[1:16:18] running,

[1:16:19] being probably carried out

[1:16:21] on people's shoulders

[1:16:21] for what a good

[1:16:22] moderation I did.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:23] And I am,

[1:16:25] I'd like to plug

[1:16:26] being very,

[1:16:27] comfortable with being

[1:16:28] talked about in therapy

[1:16:29] because that's what

[1:16:30] helps you guys be

[1:16:33] less mad at me

[1:16:34] outside of therapy.

[1:16:35] We'll see.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:35] It's like Oscar Wilde

[1:16:36] once said,

[1:16:37] the only thing worse

[1:16:37] than being talked

[1:16:38] about in therapy

[1:16:39] is being not talked

[1:16:40] about in therapy.

[1:16:42] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:43] Great plugs all around.

[1:16:44] Yeah,

[1:16:45] great plug for Oscar Wilde.

[1:16:48] Let's move on

[1:16:49] from Lee Cronin's

[1:16:51] The Mummy.

[1:16:52] To what?

[1:16:53] Directed by Lee Cronin.

[1:16:55] Oh.

[1:16:55] To,

[1:16:55] Oh,

[1:16:57] did Lee Cronin make this?

[1:16:58] Lee Cronin's The Mummy?

[1:17:00] Let's answer some letters

[1:17:01] from listeners.

[1:17:03] Okay.

[1:17:03] Like you.

[1:17:04] This letter.

[1:17:06] Uh-oh.

[1:17:06] Dear Loflop House,

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:07] my name's Lee Cronin.

[1:17:08] Have you seen

[1:17:08] my Mummy movie?

Dan McCoy

[1:17:10] I love you guys.

[1:17:11] Oh, boy.

[1:17:12] This is from

[1:17:13] Finn,

[1:17:13] last name withheld.

[1:17:15] Wolfhard.

[1:17:16] I was gonna say,

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:17] Finn McCool,

[1:17:17] the famous hero

[1:17:18] of Irish,

[1:17:20] uh,

[1:17:21] uh,

[1:17:22] what's it called?

[1:17:22] Folklore.

[1:17:23] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:25] What is it called?

[1:17:26] Um,

[1:17:27] this is a,

[1:17:28] this is gonna be a bit more

[1:17:29] of a technical question

[1:17:30] than we normally get.

[1:17:31] Oh.

[1:17:32] Uh,

[1:17:32] not,

[1:17:33] not that technical.

[1:17:34] Hi,

[1:17:34] Floppers.

[1:17:35] I've recently started running

[1:17:36] a free screening series

[1:17:37] at my work

[1:17:38] where I show weird

[1:17:39] or old movies,

[1:17:41] mostly to my friends

[1:17:42] at the moment,

[1:17:42] but the audience

[1:17:43] is slowly growing.

[1:17:45] I had every movie

[1:17:46] I wanted to show

[1:17:47] for the year planned out

[1:17:48] weeks before my boss

[1:17:50] gave me the okay,

[1:17:51] but on the night

[1:17:52] of the first screening,

[1:17:53] I realized that our

[1:17:54] projector screen

[1:17:54] is pretty square,

[1:17:57] meaning that I can only

[1:17:58] show films

[1:17:59] in Academy ratio.

[1:18:01] So far,

[1:18:02] I've shown Daisies,

[1:18:04] Bluebeard's Eighth Wife,

[1:18:06] The Murder of Fred Hampton,

[1:18:08] and Tetsuo 2 Body Hammer.

[1:18:10] At work?

[1:18:12] Any,

[1:18:13] Where do you work?

[1:18:15] Any recommendations

[1:18:16] for favorite

[1:18:17] or obscure

[1:18:17] Academy ratio movies

[1:18:19] would be appreciated,

[1:18:20] but I have a question

[1:18:21] for each of you.

[1:18:21] Elliot,

[1:18:22] as the former host

[1:18:23] of closely watched films

[1:18:24] at the 92Y,

[1:18:25] which Eastern European

[1:18:26] and pre-code films

[1:18:28] should I be showing?

[1:18:29] Stuart,

[1:18:30] since all of my

[1:18:31] full moon Blu-rays

[1:18:32] have been restored

[1:18:33] to 16.9,

[1:18:35] I can't show

[1:18:35] Castle Freak

[1:18:36] or Head of the Family.

[1:18:37] Any classic

[1:18:38] direct-to-video

[1:18:39] recommendations?

[1:18:40] Dan,

[1:18:41] how much goodwill

[1:18:42] do I have to build up

[1:18:43] with my audience

[1:18:43] before I can show them

[1:18:44] the great bikini

[1:18:45] off-road adventure?

[1:18:47] Finn,

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:48] I mean,

[1:18:48] you've already showed

[1:18:49] Tetsuo 2 Body Hammer.

[1:18:50] I feel like the gloves

[1:18:51] are off.

[1:18:52] You know,

[1:18:52] you can show anything.

[1:18:53] I think,

[1:18:54] you know,

[1:18:54] as I am on record

[1:18:56] as saying,

[1:18:57] I think that,

[1:18:57] I think that the shining

[1:18:58] topmost achievement

[1:19:00] of the Czech New Wave

[1:19:01] is closely watched Trains.

[1:19:03] Dan recently saw it

[1:19:04] and didn't like it

[1:19:04] as much as I do,

[1:19:05] but,

[1:19:06] you know,

[1:19:06] that's all right.

[1:19:06] But I liked it.

[1:19:07] I liked it totally.

[1:19:08] But another one to show

[1:19:09] would be the Fireman's Ball,

[1:19:11] the Milos Forman movie,

[1:19:12] which is really good

[1:19:12] and is in color also.

[1:19:14] In terms of,

[1:19:15] I mean,

[1:19:15] the thing is,

[1:19:17] the old movies

[1:19:18] are all in that kind of,

[1:19:19] or so many of them

[1:19:20] are in that ratio

[1:19:20] that you have a plethora,

[1:19:22] a wealth of old movies

[1:19:23] to show.

[1:19:23] And a movie I recommend

[1:19:25] because Dan also,

[1:19:26] I think,

[1:19:26] saw this recently

[1:19:27] is the musical

[1:19:29] Love Me Tonight.

[1:19:30] Dan,

[1:19:30] did you see it?

[1:19:31] Did you enjoy it?

[1:19:31] Or no?

Dan McCoy

[1:19:32] I did see it.

[1:19:33] I did enjoy it.

[1:19:34] It has a few,

[1:19:35] like,

[1:19:37] you know,

[1:19:37] things that to the modern sensibility

[1:19:38] are not so great.

[1:19:40] Like,

[1:19:41] there's a song

[1:19:42] that Chevalier sings

[1:19:45] that involves

[1:19:46] racism and abuse both.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:49] Well,

[1:19:49] it involves abuse.

[1:19:50] That's one where,

[1:19:51] that's the Apache song

[1:19:52] where he's singing,

[1:19:53] he's not,

[1:19:53] that's his song about,

[1:19:55] he's singing about being

[1:19:56] a French kind of like

[1:19:57] low-life criminal.

[1:19:59] And they were called

[1:20:00] Apaches in France,

[1:20:01] which is racist,

[1:20:02] but it's not actually

[1:20:02] about Native Americans,

[1:20:04] that song.

[1:20:05] he is singing about his life

[1:20:06] as a low-life

[1:20:07] who beats his girlfriend

[1:20:08] and things like that.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:09] And it is sold

[1:20:10] as a comic song,

[1:20:11] so that one was a little

[1:20:12] hard to get through,

[1:20:12] but even for someone

[1:20:14] who's like,

[1:20:15] you know,

[1:20:15] I'm very used to being like,

[1:20:16] well,

[1:20:17] that was the time,

[1:20:17] I can't do anything about it,

[1:20:18] I'll ignore that part for now.

[1:20:21] But,

[1:20:22] but yeah,

[1:20:23] otherwise,

[1:20:24] a very,

[1:20:24] like,

[1:20:25] I was impressed

[1:20:25] by how much

[1:20:26] just like really silly humor

[1:20:28] is in there.

[1:20:29] I mean,

[1:20:29] and Chapalier

[1:20:30] is certainly likable in it,

[1:20:33] but I really liked

[1:20:34] the supporting cast

[1:20:35] of comic actors.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:37] But I would also,

[1:20:38] I'd recommend

[1:20:38] there's a bunch of,

[1:20:39] I'd like,

[1:20:40] if you want to show

[1:20:41] Gold Diggers of 1933,

[1:20:43] which is a great,

[1:20:44] fun comedy musical

[1:20:45] from the 30s,

[1:20:46] if you want to show

[1:20:46] Million Dollar Legs,

[1:20:48] the W.C. Fields one,

[1:20:49] that is a,

[1:20:50] that's a movie

[1:20:50] that's so silly

[1:20:51] it verges on nonsensical

[1:20:53] at times.

[1:20:54] But yeah,

[1:20:55] there's a lot of great movies.

[1:20:56] I mean,

[1:20:56] that's the great thing

[1:20:57] if you're shown in that format,

[1:20:58] there's a lot of great old movies

[1:20:59] that are in that format.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:00] What's the aspect ratio

[1:21:01] we're talking here?

[1:21:03] It's Academy,

[1:21:04] so it's like what?

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:06] 4.3 or something?

[1:21:07] It's as square as you can get.

[1:21:09] It's not Letterboxd,

[1:21:10] you know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:11] Yeah,

[1:21:11] I was thinking of

[1:21:13] like a super square movie.

[1:21:17] I remember the movie

[1:21:18] I would recommend,

[1:21:20] which doesn't really

[1:21:21] answer your question.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:21] Academy ratio,

[1:21:22] I'm sorry,

[1:21:22] is 1.37 to 1.

[1:21:24] Yeah,

[1:21:24] that's what I thought.

[1:21:25] It is 4.3.

[1:21:26] All right.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:26] Yeah,

[1:21:27] so the movie

[1:21:28] I'm going to recommend

[1:21:28] doesn't actually fit

[1:21:29] the criteria

[1:21:30] of an old-timey one

[1:21:31] of like a VHS,

[1:21:33] horror classic.

[1:21:34] But I'm going to recommend

[1:21:36] Jennifer Kent's

[1:21:37] The Nightingale,

[1:21:39] which is shot

[1:21:39] in Academy ratio.

[1:21:41] And it is a

[1:21:42] harrowing,

[1:21:43] tough experience

[1:21:45] to watch.

[1:21:45] And there's something

[1:21:46] about the

[1:21:47] tighter aspect ratio

[1:21:49] that makes it feel

[1:21:50] more claustrophobic

[1:21:51] for me.

[1:21:53] Yeah,

[1:21:54] and if you're already

[1:21:55] watching Tetsuo 2,

[1:21:56] then,

[1:21:56] you know,

[1:21:57] this is fine.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:59] You know,

[1:21:59] I'm also going to

[1:21:59] recommend one of my

[1:22:00] favorite comedies,

[1:22:01] another comedy,

[1:22:01] that's The Miracle

[1:22:02] of Morgan's Creek

[1:22:03] by Preston Sturgis movie.

[1:22:06] And,

[1:22:06] you know,

[1:22:06] I'll recommend

[1:22:06] another movie

[1:22:07] about this,

[1:22:08] The Devil

[1:22:09] and Daniel Webster,

[1:22:10] which is another,

[1:22:11] it's what,

[1:22:12] Reuben Mamoulian,

[1:22:12] I think,

[1:22:13] directed that.

[1:22:14] And that's a,

[1:22:15] not entirely comedy,

[1:22:17] but it's a,

[1:22:18] that's a good

[1:22:18] kind of like,

[1:22:19] oh,

[1:22:20] it's William Dieterly

[1:22:21] directed that.

[1:22:22] That's,

[1:22:23] the one from 1941

[1:22:24] is really good.

[1:22:25] So,

[1:22:25] any of those,

[1:22:25] they're all good.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:26] Yeah.

[1:22:26] Yeah,

[1:22:27] and I don't think

[1:22:27] you could get away

[1:22:28] with any of the

[1:22:30] bikini branded films.

[1:22:33] If it has bikini

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:34] in the title,

[1:22:34] you probably shouldn't

[1:22:35] show it at work.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:36] So,

[1:22:37] I'm just going to go

[1:22:38] with a recent

[1:22:39] Square movie,

[1:22:41] The Lighthouse,

[1:22:43] which,

[1:22:44] the lewdest that gets

[1:22:45] is a man

[1:22:45] masturbating to a

[1:22:47] carving of a mermaid.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:49] We've all been there.

[1:22:50] And he was hard

Dan McCoy

[1:22:51] up for material.

[1:22:53] But I,

[1:22:55] a movie I,

[1:22:55] Literally.

[1:22:56] A movie I like a lot.

[1:22:58] And when Stuart and I

[1:23:00] saw the most recent

[1:23:01] Evil Dead movie together,

[1:23:03] there was a,

[1:23:03] there was a trailer

[1:23:05] for what is it?

[1:23:07] Werewolf?

[1:23:08] The,

[1:23:08] the upcoming

[1:23:10] Robert Eggers thing.

[1:23:11] And I'm like,

[1:23:11] I leaned over to Stuart.

[1:23:12] I'm like,

[1:23:12] I've liked all of his movies,

[1:23:13] but I wish he would go back

[1:23:15] to something like

[1:23:15] The Lighthouse

[1:23:16] rather than,

[1:23:17] you know,

[1:23:17] continuing to mine

[1:23:18] sort of these,

[1:23:20] I don't know.

[1:23:21] Like,

[1:23:22] it feels like

[1:23:23] that is something,

[1:23:24] The Lighthouse is something

[1:23:25] new and unique to him.

[1:23:28] Whereas,

[1:23:29] like,

[1:23:29] there's this,

[1:23:29] like,

[1:23:30] classicism of,

[1:23:31] of,

[1:23:32] you know,

[1:23:33] doing this right after

[1:23:33] Nosferatu

[1:23:34] doesn't feel as interesting

[1:23:35] to me.

[1:23:36] Yeah.

[1:23:36] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:37] Yep.

[1:23:38] Anyway.

[1:23:39] Maybe The Lighthouse

[1:23:40] is his take

[1:23:41] on,

[1:23:42] like,

[1:23:42] Creature from the Black Lagoon.

[1:23:44] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:47] This second and final letter

[1:23:48] is from Patrick,

[1:23:49] last name withheld,

[1:23:50] who writes,

[1:23:52] in the first Max Fun Drive

[1:23:54] episode,

[1:23:55] the bonus episode,

[1:23:56] that is,

[1:23:57] Transformers the Movie,

[1:23:58] 1986,

[1:24:00] Dan raised several

[1:24:01] vociferous,

[1:24:02] even violent objections

[1:24:03] to the characters

[1:24:04] of the Dinobots,

[1:24:06] e.g.

[1:24:07] their ability to breathe fire

[1:24:08] and their incorrect grammar

[1:24:09] when speaking.

[1:24:11] I don't think I had a problem.

[1:24:13] Anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:13] Dan have no problem

[1:24:14] with grammar.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:15] Unlike the other Autobots,

[1:24:18] the Dinobots were built

[1:24:19] on Earth by Wheeljack,

[1:24:21] an Autobot race car scientist

[1:24:22] with a Brooklyn accent

[1:24:24] whose ears lit up

[1:24:25] when he spoke.

[1:24:26] Their intellectual shortcomings

[1:24:28] in inaccurate dinosaur physiology,

[1:24:30] such as Grimlock dragging

[1:24:31] his tail on the ground,

[1:24:33] are the result of the imperfect work

[1:24:34] of a guy whose other inventions

[1:24:36] frequently exploded,

[1:24:37] file under incorrectly regarded

[1:24:39] as goofs.

[1:24:40] Yours, Patrick,

[1:24:42] That's a fair point, Patrick.

[1:24:45] And a good chance

[1:24:47] for me to remind people

[1:24:48] that members of MaxFun

[1:24:49] get to listen to bonus episodes

[1:24:51] like our episode

[1:24:52] on Transformers,

[1:24:54] the movie.

[1:24:55] And I know that we haven't put out

[1:24:57] any new ones since then,

[1:24:59] but they are on the schedule

[1:25:00] to record

[1:25:01] coming up soon.

[1:25:03] We've just been busy.

[1:25:04] Yeah.

[1:25:04] The summer's been hard.

[1:25:06] I will say,

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:06] maybe this is me being a snob

[1:25:07] considering the different types

[1:25:08] of fictional lore

[1:25:09] that I know the ins and outs of.

[1:25:11] I cannot be expected

[1:25:12] to know the lore

[1:25:13] of the Dinobots

[1:25:14] at this stage

[1:25:15] in my life, Patrick.

[1:25:16] I'm glad that you're there

[1:25:17] to fill us in about it

[1:25:18] and to educate us on it.

[1:25:20] But yeah,

[1:25:21] I'm going to defend Dan

[1:25:22] on not knowing

[1:25:23] all the reasons

[1:25:24] for the Dinobots'

[1:25:25] scientific inaccuracies.

[1:25:27] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:27] I mean,

[1:25:28] it would be weird

[1:25:29] if Dan learned

[1:25:29] a lot about

[1:25:30] an old-timey cartoon

[1:25:32] and the...

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:33] If Dan suddenly

[1:25:34] spent a lot of his life

[1:25:35] watching a cartoon

[1:25:36] for children,

[1:25:38] a cartoon made

[1:25:39] for children,

[1:25:40] and learned

[1:25:41] and learned

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:41] all the lore

[1:25:42] and really

[1:25:43] knew the episodes

[1:25:44] in such detail

[1:25:44] that he could recount them

[1:25:46] to people

[1:25:47] afterwards,

[1:25:48] it would be...

[1:25:49] That would be strange.

[1:25:50] It would be out of place.

[1:25:51] It would not be the best use of his time.

[1:25:52] Very out of character.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:53] I just opened

[1:25:54] Letterboxd

[1:25:56] in anticipation

[1:25:57] of us going on

[1:25:58] to our recommendations

[1:25:58] and the first thing

[1:25:59] I saw on my feed

[1:26:00] was Jamie Loftus'

[1:26:03] review of The Lighthouse.

[1:26:06] Oh.

[1:26:06] Serendipity.

[1:26:07] Yeah.

[1:26:08] Wait,

[1:26:08] she reviews serendipity?

[1:26:10] Mm-hmm.

[1:26:10] But the place.

[1:26:12] The restaurant

[1:26:12] or the movie?

[1:26:13] The place,

[1:26:13] not the movie.

[1:26:16] That coffee thing.

[1:26:18] It's delicious,

[1:26:19] I hear,

[1:26:19] or whatever it is.

[1:26:20] Coffee thing?

[1:26:20] I don't know.

[1:26:21] They have like

[1:26:21] the million-dollar sundae

[1:26:22] or whatever.

[1:26:22] Sunday,

[1:26:23] I don't know.

[1:26:23] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:24] Thousand-dollar pizza.

[1:26:26] I don't fucking know.

[1:26:27] Hey, man.

[1:26:27] Billion-dollar babies.

[1:26:28] Hey, man.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:30] Let's move on to...

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:33] Did Dan get high

[1:26:34] real fast?

[1:26:35] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:35] Let's move on to,

[1:26:37] what do we call them?

[1:26:38] Recommendations.

[1:26:39] Recommendations.

[1:26:39] That we've seen

[1:26:40] that might be worth

[1:26:42] our time.

[1:26:44] We've, you know,

[1:26:45] as mentioned

[1:26:45] in the previous mini,

[1:26:48] we've not done

[1:26:50] a recording for a while

[1:26:51] because of various

[1:26:53] things during the summer,

[1:26:56] you know,

[1:26:56] travel, etc.

[1:26:58] So,

[1:26:58] I have a backlog

[1:26:59] of movies

[1:27:00] that I've watched

[1:27:01] and I'm gonna

[1:27:01] give you two.

[1:27:03] I'm gonna hit you

[1:27:03] with two.

[1:27:03] Whoa!

[1:27:05] Merry Christmas to us.

[1:27:07] I watched

[1:27:07] for the first time

[1:27:08] 1979's

[1:27:10] Stalker,

[1:27:11] the Tartofsky movie.

[1:27:14] I had,

[1:27:15] you know,

[1:27:16] put it off

[1:27:16] for a long time

[1:27:16] because I'm like

[1:27:17] an almost

[1:27:18] three-hour

[1:27:19] existentialist

[1:27:20] Soviet

[1:27:21] sci-fi movie.

[1:27:23] I mean,

[1:27:24] Dan,

[1:27:24] that all makes

[1:27:25] it sound amazing.

[1:27:25] I could watch

Dan McCoy

[1:27:25] something stupider.

[1:27:27] No,

[1:27:27] I mean,

[1:27:28] like,

[1:27:28] it's true.

[1:27:29] Like,

[1:27:29] well,

[1:27:30] it was still

[1:27:30] on my list,

[1:27:31] obviously,

[1:27:31] but sometimes

[1:27:32] the energy

[1:27:33] to start

[1:27:34] a thing like that

[1:27:34] is the difficult thing.

[1:27:37] And then once I put it on,

[1:27:39] I immediately was like,

[1:27:41] oh my God,

[1:27:41] this is like

[1:27:42] so gorgeous looking.

[1:27:44] Like,

[1:27:44] there's so many

[1:27:45] fascinating things

[1:27:46] going on

[1:27:46] in the screen,

[1:27:49] in every corner

[1:27:52] of the scene.

[1:27:53] And it made me think

[1:27:54] a lot about,

[1:27:56] you know,

[1:27:56] what we say sometimes

[1:27:57] when we talk about

[1:27:58] a movie being slow.

[1:27:59] Like,

[1:28:00] a movie can be slow

[1:28:00] in two ways.

[1:28:01] It can be

[1:28:02] merely descriptive

[1:28:04] and not judgmental

[1:28:05] to say that

[1:28:06] a movie is

[1:28:07] paced slowly.

[1:28:09] And then

[1:28:09] there are movies

[1:28:11] that feel slow

[1:28:12] because

[1:28:12] there is no

[1:28:14] sort of

[1:28:15] propulsion

[1:28:16] between scenes.

[1:28:17] Like,

[1:28:17] you're not

[1:28:18] raring to learn

[1:28:20] more about the story

[1:28:21] or there's a bunch

[1:28:22] of stuff in there

[1:28:23] that doesn't need

[1:28:24] to be in there,

[1:28:25] that doesn't feel

[1:28:26] like it's been considered.

[1:28:27] It's just kind of,

[1:28:28] like,

[1:28:29] junk

[1:28:29] clogging up

[1:28:30] the movie.

[1:28:32] And I think

[1:28:32] Stalker is the

[1:28:33] first type of movie

[1:28:34] where it is slow

[1:28:35] but it is transfixing.

[1:28:37] Like,

[1:28:37] you start thinking

[1:28:38] about how little

[1:28:41] the camera is moving

[1:28:42] a lot of the time.

[1:28:43] You know,

[1:28:43] it'll fix on

[1:28:44] a scene

[1:28:45] and then

[1:28:46] things will move

[1:28:47] around within the scene

[1:28:48] and then

[1:28:49] the camera will

[1:28:50] drift off

[1:28:51] to the side

[1:28:52] and a new

[1:28:53] amazing thing

[1:28:54] will be revealed.

[1:28:56] And, you know,

[1:28:58] at the end

[1:28:59] maybe it gets

[1:28:59] a little too,

[1:29:00] like,

[1:29:01] we're three men

[1:29:03] in a room

[1:29:03] like,

[1:29:04] talking out

[1:29:05] philosophy

[1:29:05] for me

[1:29:06] and loses

[1:29:07] a little bit

[1:29:08] of its magic

[1:29:08] but it's

[1:29:09] an amazing movie

[1:29:11] that I enjoyed

[1:29:12] all the way through.

[1:29:14] And then on the

[1:29:14] other end

[1:29:14] of the spectrum,

[1:29:16] that was a

[1:29:17] first time watch.

[1:29:18] This was

[1:29:18] a childhood

[1:29:20] movie

[1:29:21] that I saw

[1:29:21] a lot

[1:29:22] but hadn't

[1:29:22] seen

[1:29:23] for years

[1:29:23] and years

[1:29:24] and that's

[1:29:24] A Boy Named

[1:29:25] Charlie Brown

[1:29:26] from 1969,

[1:29:28] the first

[1:29:29] theatrical

[1:29:29] Peanuts movie.

[1:29:31] It is

[1:29:32] an interesting

[1:29:34] movie in that,

[1:29:34] like,

[1:29:34] it is beyond

[1:29:35] loosely plotted.

[1:29:37] It is,

[1:29:37] for the first

[1:29:38] half at least,

[1:29:39] essentially

[1:29:40] a bunch of

[1:29:41] blackouts

[1:29:42] and slightly

[1:29:43] longer storylines

[1:29:44] taken directly

[1:29:44] from the

[1:29:46] Peanuts strip

[1:29:46] kind of,

[1:29:47] like,

[1:29:47] just loosely

[1:29:48] knit together.

[1:29:49] Eventually,

[1:29:51] a plot

[1:29:51] emerges

[1:29:51] about Charlie

[1:29:53] Brown winning

[1:29:54] the Spelling Bee,

[1:29:54] the local

[1:29:55] Spelling Bee

[1:29:55] and going

[1:29:55] on to

[1:29:56] National Spelling

[1:29:57] Bee

[1:29:57] and,

[1:29:59] or state,

[1:30:00] I don't know.

[1:30:02] I think it's

[1:30:03] worldwide.

[1:30:06] And that

[1:30:07] is also

[1:30:08] based on

[1:30:08] a storyline

[1:30:09] but it has

[1:30:11] been changed

[1:30:12] and expanded

[1:30:12] and it

[1:30:14] captures

[1:30:15] the feeling

[1:30:16] of the

[1:30:17] strip so

[1:30:17] well but

[1:30:18] also it'll

[1:30:20] go off in

[1:30:21] these,

[1:30:21] like,

[1:30:21] weird reveries

[1:30:23] like Bill

[1:30:23] Melinda's

[1:30:24] the animator,

[1:30:26] you know,

[1:30:26] director,

[1:30:27] does a good

[1:30:28] job at

[1:30:29] translating

[1:30:30] what is

[1:30:30] essentially a

[1:30:31] very flat

[1:30:31] comic to

[1:30:32] animation but

[1:30:33] then every

[1:30:34] once in a

[1:30:34] while he'll

[1:30:35] cut loose

[1:30:35] and do,

[1:30:36] like,

[1:30:37] something more

[1:30:38] visually

[1:30:39] interesting including

[1:30:40] like an

[1:30:41] eight-minute

[1:30:41] sequence where

[1:30:42] Schroeder just

[1:30:43] plays some

[1:30:43] Beethoven and

[1:30:44] we get some

[1:30:44] cutout animation

[1:30:45] so it is

[1:30:47] both,

[1:30:48] like,

[1:30:48] funny and

[1:30:49] wistful and

[1:30:50] pretty

[1:30:50] and it,

[1:30:52] you know,

[1:30:53] philosophically it

[1:30:54] is a good

[1:30:56] movie about

[1:30:57] constant failure

[1:30:59] and

[1:31:00] persevering in

[1:31:02] the face of

[1:31:03] just a,

[1:31:05] what seems to

[1:31:06] be a cold

[1:31:07] world.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:08] so when

[1:31:08] philosophy is

[1:31:09] discussed by

[1:31:09] three Russian

[1:31:10] men,

[1:31:11] that's too

[1:31:12] much for

[1:31:12] you,

[1:31:12] but when

[1:31:12] it's

[1:31:13] animated

[1:31:13] children,

[1:31:14] you're all

[1:31:15] over it.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:15] says a

[1:31:16] perfect

[1:31:16] aphorism

[1:31:17] and that's

[1:31:19] all,

[1:31:19] it doesn't

[1:31:20] go on for

[1:31:21] 20 minutes.

[1:31:23] Yes,

[1:31:23] I do prefer

[1:31:24] that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:25] Well,

[1:31:26] I have in

[1:31:28] the intervening

[1:31:29] weeks,

[1:31:30] I did

[1:31:30] finally go to

[1:31:32] see a movie

[1:31:33] in 40X,

[1:31:34] guys.

[1:31:35] I went and

[1:31:36] saw back

[1:31:36] rooms in

[1:31:37] 40X.

[1:31:39] Really

[1:31:40] lost.

[1:31:41] Oh,

[1:31:41] yeah,

[1:31:41] and it

[1:31:42] was a lot

[1:31:42] of shaking

[1:31:43] around,

[1:31:44] wind blowing

[1:31:45] on my face.

[1:31:46] There was a

[1:31:46] fair amount

[1:31:46] of smoke

[1:31:47] in the movie

[1:31:48] where they

[1:31:48] shot like

[1:31:49] smoke canisters

[1:31:50] in the,

[1:31:51] it was pretty

[1:31:51] cool.

[1:31:52] But I don't

[1:31:53] need to promote

[1:31:54] this very huge

[1:31:55] movie.

[1:31:55] I liked it

[1:31:56] quite a bit.

[1:31:57] But the movie

[1:31:58] I want to

[1:31:58] recommend today

[1:31:59] is a movie

[1:31:59] called Kill

[1:32:01] from a few

[1:32:02] years ago.

[1:32:03] This is a,

[1:32:04] I believe.

[1:32:04] Not Kill,

[1:32:05] the samurai movie

[1:32:06] from the 1960s,

[1:32:06] which is a great

[1:32:07] movie.

[1:32:07] No.

[1:32:08] This is a,

[1:32:09] this is a,

[1:32:10] I believe,

[1:32:11] Indian action

[1:32:12] movie that

[1:32:13] takes place

[1:32:14] almost entirely

[1:32:14] on a train

[1:32:15] where a

[1:32:17] commando

[1:32:18] is,

[1:32:19] boards the

[1:32:19] train to

[1:32:21] try and

[1:32:22] convince the

[1:32:23] love of his

[1:32:23] life to

[1:32:24] not get

[1:32:25] married.

[1:32:26] She's just

[1:32:27] been engaged

[1:32:27] and he doesn't

[1:32:28] want her to

[1:32:28] get married.

[1:32:29] He wants her

[1:32:30] to run away

[1:32:30] with him.

[1:32:31] Her whole

[1:32:32] family's on

[1:32:32] this train,

[1:32:33] but he stows

[1:32:34] away with his,

[1:32:35] like,

[1:32:35] he gets on

[1:32:36] the train as

[1:32:36] well with his,

[1:32:37] like,

[1:32:37] commando buddy.

[1:32:38] And unfortunately,

[1:32:40] that train is

[1:32:40] the target

[1:32:41] of a large

[1:32:42] gang family

[1:32:43] of robbers.

[1:32:45] And things

[1:32:46] get messy.

[1:32:48] It's, like,

[1:32:49] this very intense

[1:32:50] action movie,

[1:32:52] very much like

[1:32:53] the raid on a

[1:32:54] train.

[1:32:54] And at about,

[1:32:55] like,

[1:32:55] 30 or 40 minutes,

[1:32:56] you're like,

[1:32:57] I feel like I've

[1:32:58] probably seen

[1:32:59] everything this movie

[1:32:59] has to offer.

[1:33:00] And then the movie

[1:33:01] totally steps it up

[1:33:02] a notch and it

[1:33:03] gets crazy.

[1:33:05] And it also,

[1:33:06] like,

[1:33:07] it does a very

[1:33:07] good job of

[1:33:09] making the bad

[1:33:10] guys,

[1:33:11] like,

[1:33:11] a believable,

[1:33:12] interesting set

[1:33:13] of villains.

[1:33:14] And it's,

[1:33:15] yeah,

[1:33:15] it's just,

[1:33:15] it's great.

[1:33:16] And it's,

[1:33:16] like,

[1:33:17] it's a little bit,

[1:33:17] like,

[1:33:18] it's tongue-in-cheek

[1:33:19] enough where,

[1:33:19] like,

[1:33:20] it feels like the

[1:33:21] lead dude gets a

[1:33:22] guitar sting every

[1:33:23] time he,

[1:33:24] like,

[1:33:25] you know,

[1:33:25] flexes his muscles

[1:33:26] and turns his

[1:33:27] lantern jaw at the

[1:33:28] enemy.

[1:33:28] It's great.

[1:33:29] And it also is,

[1:33:30] like,

[1:33:31] 90 minutes,

[1:33:32] which is,

[1:33:32] like,

[1:33:32] perfect.

[1:33:33] Like,

[1:33:34] lean and mean,

[1:33:35] gets in,

[1:33:35] gets out,

[1:33:36] great.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:37] I'm gonna recommend

[1:33:38] a movie that is not

[1:33:39] lean,

[1:33:41] doesn't get in,

[1:33:41] get out in 90 minutes.

[1:33:43] Is it mean?

[1:33:44] It is a little mean

[1:33:45] at times.

[1:33:46] And that is,

[1:33:47] I was recently on

[1:33:48] a long airplane ride,

[1:33:49] so I was able to watch

[1:33:50] a long movie

[1:33:51] that I'd been putting off,

[1:33:53] and that movie is

[1:33:53] The Secret Agent,

[1:33:54] possibly the least seen

[1:33:56] of the Best Picture nominees

[1:33:57] from last year.

[1:33:59] Heard good things.

[1:34:00] And so,

[1:34:01] it was good,

[1:34:02] and I liked enough

[1:34:03] that I am recommending it

[1:34:04] today on The Flophouse.

[1:34:06] This is a Portuguese movie.

[1:34:08] It's directed by,

[1:34:09] I'm gonna mispronounce

[1:34:10] his last name,

[1:34:11] but it's,

[1:34:12] it's like,

[1:34:12] Mendonsofiliu,

[1:34:13] who also did the movie

[1:34:14] Baccarat,

[1:34:15] if you guys have seen that.

[1:34:17] He does some other movies too,

[1:34:18] but Baccarat was the one

[1:34:19] that I kept hearing about

[1:34:20] and watched right before this.

[1:34:21] And it is the story of

[1:34:23] a number of different characters

[1:34:24] living in Brazil

[1:34:25] in the 1970s

[1:34:27] during the military

[1:34:29] dictatorship there

[1:34:30] and how dangerous

[1:34:31] it was to be someone

[1:34:32] who would run afoul of that.

[1:34:34] But it's also,

[1:34:36] there's a lot of life in it,

[1:34:38] there's a lot of fun in it.

[1:34:39] There's one sequence

[1:34:39] which is based

[1:34:40] on a historical thing

[1:34:41] that is so,

[1:34:43] like,

[1:34:44] lunatic.

[1:34:45] And I was like,

[1:34:46] what is going on?

[1:34:46] Hold on a second,

[1:34:47] it comes out of nowhere.

[1:34:48] And I had to look it up

[1:34:49] to find out

[1:34:49] that it's based

[1:34:50] on a real thing.

[1:34:52] but it's a really great movie,

[1:34:54] it's really well put together,

[1:34:56] and I think

[1:34:56] it's not a movie

[1:34:57] where you're going to get

[1:34:58] like a kind of

[1:35:00] comprehensive ABC plot.

[1:35:03] It's not a

[1:35:03] like straightforward thriller

[1:35:05] necessarily,

[1:35:06] but it's a really good movie

[1:35:07] about kind of

[1:35:08] the feel of being in a place

[1:35:10] and the kinds of characters

[1:35:11] that would exist

[1:35:12] in this place.

[1:35:13] And the lead actor in it,

[1:35:15] Wagner Mora,

[1:35:16] or Wagner Mora,

[1:35:18] he was nominated

[1:35:20] for Best Actor.

[1:35:20] And throughout the movie,

[1:35:21] I'm like,

[1:35:22] yeah,

[1:35:22] he's doing a pretty good job.

[1:35:23] Yeah,

[1:35:23] this is pretty good.

[1:35:24] And then his final scene,

[1:35:26] I was like,

[1:35:26] well,

[1:35:26] this is a great performance.

[1:35:27] Like,

[1:35:27] this last scene,

[1:35:28] I thought the performance

[1:35:28] was fantastic.

[1:35:29] Like,

[1:35:29] I'm seeing a person

[1:35:30] rather than a performance.

[1:35:32] I'm seeing like a,

[1:35:32] it felt like the thing

[1:35:34] that I love so much

[1:35:35] about the performance in Tar,

[1:35:36] where I'm like,

[1:35:37] oh,

[1:35:37] I don't feel like I'm watching

[1:35:38] someone giving a performance.

[1:35:39] I feel like I'm watching

[1:35:39] this character existing,

[1:35:41] you know.

[1:35:42] So,

[1:35:42] I really recommend it.

[1:35:43] It's a long movie.

[1:35:44] It's almost three hours long,

[1:35:45] but it's well worth it.

[1:35:46] It's probably a movie

[1:35:47] you could watch in pieces

[1:35:48] if you really needed to.

[1:35:50] But,

[1:35:50] if you happen to be on a plane

[1:35:51] from Geneva

[1:35:54] to the United States,

[1:35:55] like I,

[1:35:56] or actually from France

[1:35:56] to the United States

[1:35:57] like I was,

[1:35:58] then go for it.

[1:35:59] Dial up the secret agent,

[1:36:00] kick back,

[1:36:01] watch it.

[1:36:02] It was really good.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:04] Okay,

[1:36:05] some very specific

[1:36:06] recommendations

[1:36:08] about where

[1:36:09] This is the movie

[1:36:10] I recommend

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:10] if you are on a work trip

[1:36:12] from France

[1:36:13] to the United States.

[1:36:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:16] Well,

[1:36:17] that was our show

[1:36:18] on Lee Cronin's The Mummy.

[1:36:21] Let's wrap this thing up.

[1:36:24] Thank you, Stuart.

[1:36:25] Thank you for that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:26] Let's place

[1:36:27] the elements

[1:36:28] of this podcast

[1:36:29] into canoptic jars.

[1:36:31] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:32] Let's

[1:36:32] shove

[1:36:33] a hook

[1:36:35] up this podcast nose.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:37] Rip the brain out

[1:36:38] and throw it away.

[1:36:39] Let's place this podcast

[1:36:42] in its tomb

[1:36:42] behind a series

[1:36:43] of booby traps

[1:36:44] which will be broken through

[1:36:46] and looted

[1:36:47] over the centuries.

[1:36:47] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:48] This show

[1:36:49] is edited

[1:36:51] and produced

[1:36:52] by Alex Smith.

[1:36:53] He goes by the name

[1:36:54] Howell Doughty

[1:36:54] all over the internet.

[1:36:56] If you've ever wondered

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:57] what he looks like

[1:36:58] in person,

[1:36:58] come see us

[1:36:59] in Louisville, Kentucky

[1:37:00] Friday,

[1:37:01] September 18th.

[1:37:04] He'll be there.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:06] You took the words

[1:37:07] right out of my mouth.

[1:37:09] So thank you, Alex.

[1:37:11] Thank you to Maximum Fun.

[1:37:13] If you want to listen

[1:37:14] to a lot of other

[1:37:14] great podcasts

[1:37:15] on the network

[1:37:16] that we are on,

[1:37:17] Maximum Fun,

[1:37:18] go to MaximumFun.org.

[1:37:21] Check them out there.

[1:37:22] Until next time,

[1:37:24] for the Flophouse,

[1:37:25] I have been Dan McCoy.

[1:37:26] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:28] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:37:29] Not a mummy,

[1:37:30] but maybe someday.

[1:37:32] Let's hope.

[1:37:32] Bye.

[1:37:39] On this episode,

Dan McCoy

[1:37:45] we discuss

[1:37:45] Lee Cronin's

[1:37:48] Lee Cronin made a mummy?

[1:37:51] I'll believe anything now.

[1:37:56] About mummy hater

[1:37:58] Lee Cronin?

[1:37:59] Him?

[1:38:02] You want to keep going?

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:05] Somebody should do another one.

[1:38:07] You have to.

[1:38:08] Okay, let me try another one.

[1:38:09] Let me try another one.

[1:38:10] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:11] On this episode,

[1:38:12] we discuss

[1:38:13] Lee Cronin's

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:15] The movie that had

[1:38:16] all of America

[1:38:16] asking the question,

[1:38:18] wait,

[1:38:18] who's Lee Cronin again?

[1:38:21] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:22] And let us begin.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:24] Mine didn't hurt

[1:38:25] Lee Cronin's feelings.

[1:38:26] Yeah.

[1:38:26] Actually,

[1:38:27] but let me do another one.

[1:38:28] Let me do another one

[1:38:28] that won't hurt his feelings.

[1:38:29] Hold on.

[1:38:30] Mm-hmm.

[1:38:32] Maximum Fun.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:33] A worker-owned network

[1:38:34] of artist-owned shows

[1:38:36] supported

[1:38:36] directly

[1:38:37] by you.

Lee Cronin's The Mummy

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