FH Mini 59 - Missed That Movie: Virtual Obsession

Dan McCoy

[0:00] Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse. I am Dan McCoy.

[0:08] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:09] I'm Elliot Kalin. Thanks for pointing to me, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[0:13] I just had to gamble that where I was pointing was actually where you would be on the Zoom call.

[0:19] But hey guys, this is a podcast called The Flophouse.

[0:24] It's about movies that were critical or commercial flops.

[0:29] Normally we all watch the movies.

[0:31] In off weeks though, we do some Flophouse minis that are freeform a lot of the time.

[0:37] But this one is movie based.

[0:40] I think it's the first time I have done one of these missed that movies.

[0:45] I'm not sure. I think it might be the first time.

Elliott Kalan

[0:48] Do not write an incorrect if he's wrong.

Dan McCoy

[0:50] He is very sensitive about that stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[0:52] That much also.

Stuart Wellington

[0:53] If you did, we'll cover it in a future mini episode.

[0:58] Where the segment is, Miss That Manny.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01] Yeah.

[1:01] I thought you were brought to you by Minnie's Barn, Maniac of New York.

[1:05] Actually, Dan, I think I have a real-time correction.

[1:07] Didn't you do a Miss That Movie about Get-A-Vin or Get-Even?

[1:10] Oh, I did. I did.

[1:12] So listeners, really don't write in because I already corrected Dan.

[1:15] Don't write in.

[1:16] Please don't write in.

[1:18] I feel like when Ringo Starr, years ago, Ringo Starr told his fans.

[1:21] Ringo Starr?

[1:21] Ringo Starr.

[1:22] You got to go down to the Ringo Starr.

[1:24] Look, Ringo Starr is Ringo Starr.

[1:26] It's where you buy your Ringo stuff.

[1:28] Ringo Starr, he told his fans, do not write me any more letters.

[1:31] And it was a very funny video message.

[1:32] He goes, peace and love, peace and love.

[1:34] Don't write me any more letters.

[1:35] I will not reply.

[1:36] Peace and love.

[1:37] Anyway, that's how I feel right now, listeners.

[1:39] I'm the Ringo of this group is I guess what I'm saying.

[1:41] Come on down to my store.

[1:42] Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:43] This is an awesome way to open this podcast.

[1:48] It's just really engaging for the new listeners.

[1:51] Thank you.

[1:52] New listeners.

Stuart Wellington

[1:54] Listeners?

[1:55] I thought this was the best buddy's house where three best buddies just talk and nobody listens.

Dan McCoy

[2:03] Stuart, when you were like, if you have done one before, we will cover.

[2:08] And you said cover it on another mini, but I thought you were going to say we will cover it up.

[2:15] We'll delete that one.

[2:17] We'll renumber everything that happened afterwards.

[2:21] We'll gaslight people.

[2:23] You never heard that, man.

[2:24] It never happened.

Stuart Wellington

[2:25] It seems way easier to just fix this one, but I guess not.

[2:29] No, no, no.

Elliott Kalan

[2:30] It's the same way that Sinbad convinced the world he didn't play a genie in a movie.

[2:35] The only way to do it.

Dan McCoy

[2:37] So, the theme for this mini is Miss That Movie.

[2:43] If you haven't caught previous minis that are under this title that Stu coined, it is what we do when one of us has seen a movie that the others haven't necessarily seen.

[2:56] I mean, like, I don't know.

[2:57] You guys may have seen this.

[2:59] I haven't asked.

Stuart Wellington

[2:59] Is it E.T.?

[3:00] Is it Avengers Endgame?

Dan McCoy

[3:04] It's neither of those movies.

[3:05] Both movies featuring aliens, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[3:07] Mm-hmm.

[3:07] Good point.

[3:08] Thank you for bringing that up.

[3:09] What if they met?

[3:11] I think it would go a little something like this.

[3:13] E.T.

[3:14] Not understand.

[3:15] I could just double all the resources in the universe.

[3:20] That's a little criticism of Thanos' motivation in Avengers Infinity War that people like to make.

[3:26] Put it through the porthole of time and tweet it.

Stuart Wellington

[3:31] I mean, if only you could sit that maniac down, that alien maniac murderer down and explain it to him, he'd be like, oh, man, my motivations are wrong.

Elliott Kalan

[3:42] My bad, my bad.

[3:44] Up until now, I've been a totally rational, logical, reasonable being.

[3:47] You're right.

[3:48] I just keep pulling whoopsies.

[3:52] It was originally called Avengers Pulling Whoopsies.

[3:58] Sorry.

[3:58] And you may still be able to get on eBay some of the very rare original release Thanos talking dolls where you pull the thread and you hear Josh Brolin say, I just keep pulling whoopsies.

[4:11] But then, of course, they pulled those from the market when that line was removed from the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[4:14] They had to change it.

[4:15] Jim Starlin was suing them for taking this catchphrase.

Elliott Kalan

[4:19] Because Jim Starlin, whenever, yeah, Jim Starlin says that in his personal life.

[4:23] Jim Starlin, creator of Thanos, of course.

Dan McCoy

[4:27] Guys, the listeners now primed and ready.

[4:30] They're in such suspense over what movie.

Stuart Wellington

[4:34] Yeah.

[4:34] Is it E.T.?

[4:35] Is it Avengers Endgame?

Dan McCoy

[4:38] No, it's neither.

[4:39] Oh, God, we're caught in a loop.

[4:40] Oh, bolder whoopsie.

[4:43] That's called a loopsy whoopsie.

[4:46] Have you, gentlemen, seen a movie called Virtual Obsession starring Peter Gallagher?

[4:54] It's possible you have.

[4:55] I don't think so.

[4:57] Virtual Obsession.

Elliott Kalan

[4:57] I don't believe so.

[4:59] You said Peter Gallagher's in it.

[5:01] It also stars.

[5:01] Who else is in it?

[5:02] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[5:03] It stars Mimi Rogers and 90s starlet Brigitte Wilson.

[5:13] Is any of this ringing a bell for you?

Elliott Kalan

[5:15] No, I'm looking up the fact that this movie came out in 1998 when I would have thought a movie called Virtual Obsession would have come out in 1992 and starred like Shannon Tweed.

[5:24] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[5:25] Yeah.

[5:25] No, I found this was shown to me and some friends by a friend of the-

[5:32] Who hurt you, Dan?

[5:34] Tell us.

[5:35] Don't protect their identity.

Stuart Wellington

[5:37] Shown to me by Showtime late at night.

Elliott Kalan

[5:42] It was shown to me by a friend, C. Enomax.

Dan McCoy

[5:46] No, it was screened by a friend of the Flophouse.

[5:51] She's loaned us some gear for live shows back in the day.

[5:56] Wendy Mays.

[5:57] Meow Mays on Twitter.

[5:59] Sure.

[6:00] As part of a series of Peter Gallagher movies she was screening under the title Gal Pals.

[6:07] Oh, not Gallagher's 2000?

[6:13] I don't know.

[6:14] I think Gal Pals is stronger, but we can workshop it.

[6:16] All right.

[6:17] Okay, fair.

[6:18] So, this is a movie that was actually a television presentation.

[6:23] Oh, directed by Mick Garris, I'm seeing right now.

[6:26] Don't get over it.

[6:27] Don't.

[6:27] Sorry, sorry.

[6:28] Elliot, you closed that page.

[6:30] Sorry, I'm just excited.

[6:31] All winner is Mick Garris.

[6:33] Yeah, Mick Garris, Stephen King's favorite director because he will not change a word that Stephen King wrote,

[6:40] which is the one thing Stephen King looks for in adaptations of his work.

Elliott Kalan

[6:44] A very good horror podcast host, I will say.

Dan McCoy

[6:47] He seems like a real lover of horror.

[6:50] He personally seems like a nice gentleman who is, he did masters of horror largely because he could toss some directing work to genuine masters of horror, as the title says.

[7:06] And for that, I have a fondness for him.

[7:10] But his films are not necessarily the greatest.

[7:12] We did sleepwalkers back in the day for one of our live shows.

[7:17] Yeah.

[7:18] Not on the feed.

[7:19] It was a riff show.

[7:22] So, don't go looking for that.

[7:23] But Mick Garris has a Flophouse history is all I'm saying.

[7:27] It was broadcast over three hours, 8 to 11 p.m. on ABC back on Thursday, February 26, 1998.

[7:40] What else happened that day, Dan, in history?

[7:42] Yeah.

[7:43] I should have looked it up.

[7:45] That would have been a better segment.

[7:47] Here, I'm going to look at that.

[7:48] I'm going to see.

[7:49] I'm going to see.

[7:50] Wow.

[7:50] We're like playing track tonight.

[7:52] February 26, 1998.

[7:53] Super tight.

[7:54] Now, there's a disputed runtime online.

Elliott Kalan

[7:58] Oh, it's the day, Dan, that was the same day that J.T. Walsh died.

[8:02] Hopefully, not until after he got to finish watching the movie.

Dan McCoy

[8:06] He was so shocked by the end of Virtual Obsession.

[8:09] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[8:09] And, of course, also, we'll all remember that's the sad day when Stephen M. Gluckstern completed the sale of the New York Highlanders.

Stuart Wellington

[8:15] Guys, today I learned that Oliver Reed died after arm wrestling somebody in a bar.

[8:23] Did you know this?

[8:25] That when he was taking a break from filming Gladiator and he got an arm wrestling match in a bar and immediately afterwards died in the bar.

[8:34] Did you know this?

Elliott Kalan

[8:35] That squares with the story I had heard about him was always that he had tattoos on his penis and would just pull it out and show it to people.

[8:41] Yes.

[8:44] You're going to use up all your energy at the top.

[8:46] There's a long synopsis.

Dan McCoy

[8:48] The more bullshit now, the tireder you're going to be later.

Elliott Kalan

[8:52] I will also mention, so on that day, there was a total solar eclipse in Venezuela.

[8:55] So if you were in Venezuela, you had the choice between seeing the ballet of the heavens or watching, what was it called?

[9:01] Terminal Obsession?

Dan McCoy

Elliott Kalan

Dan McCoy

[9:04] Honestly, that's what I wanted to say before, though.

Stuart Wellington

[9:07] I feel like that's a better working title for OnlyFans.

Elliott Kalan

[9:10] Wait, guys.

[9:11] Guys, I buried the lead.

[9:13] That was also the day Oprah Winfrey was found not guilty in the beef defamation trial.

[9:18] Jesus God.

[9:18] Where she was sued for saying beef was something she wasn't eating right now.

[9:22] Okay, so Dan, tell us more.

Dan McCoy

[9:24] I also thought when I first heard this title, how could this not be a Showtime or Cinemax late night movie?

[9:31] It is not.

[9:32] As I said, broadcast on ABC.

[9:34] The runtime online is disputed in various places.

[9:40] Surprisingly, not that many people care enough about virtual obsession to correct the record.

[9:47] Because a lot of places say it's a three-hour runtime.

[9:49] It was in a three-hour time slot.

[9:51] There's no way that the runtime, they had to have ads in there.

[9:53] Yeah, yeah.

[9:54] This is ABC.

[9:55] Two hours 20, maybe.

[9:56] It's not driving my car.

[9:57] No, but it is longer than a movie movie, which is shocking when you watch it because you're like, wait, this movie's still going on.

[10:07] Great.

[10:08] It's based on the novel Host by Peter James, which is a title that is also rerun on cable TV under.

[10:16] Not the host.

[10:18] No, just host.

[10:19] Not the perfect host.

[10:21] No.

[10:22] Not that host either.

[10:23] Mm-hmm.

[10:24] Not the host that you take in communion.

[10:27] You're like a hostess cupcake.

[10:29] Mm-hmm.

[10:30] No, none of those things.

Elliott Kalan

[10:32] Is this host with the most?

Dan McCoy

[10:34] No.

[10:35] Or with the least?

[10:38] It's not the ghost for the most because that would be Beetlejuice.

[10:41] Don't say it any more times, guys.

[10:43] Guys, we can say it one more time safely.

[10:46] I feel like the words just push through luck.

[10:48] That's just tempting fate.

[10:50] So, as we mentioned, directed by Mick Garris, who has done a lot of mostly TV Stephen King adaptations, although Sleepwalkers was a theatrical film.

[11:01] Major motion picture, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[11:02] He did the second.

[11:03] He did Critters 2.

Stuart Wellington

[11:04] Yeah, Critters 2.

[11:05] Yeah, Critters 2.

[11:06] One of the best movies ever made.

Elliott Kalan

[11:07] Critters 2.

[11:08] It's right on the side.

[11:09] Possibly.

[11:09] Hey, Sight and Sound List says it.

[11:11] Don't blame us.

[11:12] Sight and Sound List of the 10 best movies.

[11:14] I mean, you can fucking blame me.

[11:15] Come over here and tell me it is.

Dan McCoy

[11:18] I've given Mick Garris a bit of a hard time.

[11:21] I'll tell you, Critters 2 is probably my favorite of the series.

[11:24] It's a fucking banger.

[11:26] You did a good job there.

Elliott Kalan

[11:27] Big critter rolls over somebody and turns them into a skeleton.

[11:30] It is the way I want to die.

Dan McCoy

[11:35] All right.

[11:36] You got to shut up, though, because this next fact is great.

[11:38] Okay, sure.

[11:38] It's co-written.

[11:40] Co-written by Mick Garris.

[11:42] Okay.

[11:42] And the son of Preston Sturgis, who is also named Preston Sturgis.

[11:47] Not Heston Sturgis.

[11:49] So, if you see it, you see the, it says, written by Mick Garris and Preston Sturgis.

[11:56] And, like, your mind reels and you're like, was this based on a previous work?

[12:01] Yeah.

[12:03] Master of Hollywood comedy, Preston Sturgis.

[12:06] But it's, no, it's his son who only wrote, like, three things.

[12:11] Anyway, so let's get into this movie.

[12:13] As I said, stars Peter Gallagher, who you may know from his eyebrows.

[12:19] Yep.

[12:19] And he's a scientist.

[12:21] So, a glitch occurs.

Elliott Kalan

[12:23] You would probably know him best from the arrival of Guys and Dolls that I saw as a kid that changed my life in making me a Broadway fan.

Dan McCoy

[12:29] Yeah.

[12:30] Probably from Elliot's memory is how you know Peter Gallagher.

[12:34] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[12:34] Because we've been strange days in Elliot's memories.

Dan McCoy

[12:38] Yeah.

[12:39] So, Salt Lake City is where this is set, where all great stories are set.

[12:45] Salt Lake City.

[12:46] There's a computer program that controls everything electrical for the city, the power.

[12:53] And some sort of glitch causes accidents.

[12:56] And this lands Dr. Joe Messenger in some minor hot water because he controls.

[13:03] Because his hot water heater breaks.

[13:04] He doesn't have enough hot water.

[13:06] Because he's Peter Gallagher and he controls the program that controls the city.

[13:11] Oh.

[13:11] He's like, oh, we'll figure it out.

[13:14] It won't happen again.

[13:18] The colleague, Peter Gallagher's colleague, Tom, says that their system has been hacked.

[13:24] I don't know whether this has ever resolved what happened.

[13:29] Another character who comes in, maybe they did it.

[13:34] Cool.

Elliott Kalan

[13:35] Did you miss that movie?

Dan McCoy

[13:39] There are things in this movie that are legitimate loose ends.

[13:44] And then things in this movie that I'm like, I'm not sure whether the movie just didn't do a great job.

Stuart Wellington

[13:49] I mean, Dan could have gotten up to go to the concession stand.

[13:52] I mean, there's a very convincing advertisement before the main feature.

[13:57] I have a bunch of mangoes in the other room.

[13:59] Oh, shit.

[14:00] Dan has mangoes.

Elliott Kalan

[14:01] Siren song.

[14:02] There's no movie that Dan can't be pulled away from by the song of two-person mango cutting.

Dan McCoy

[14:10] Yeah.

[14:11] So their system is run by this holographic artificial intelligence named Albert, who, as you might suspect, is manifested as Albert Einstein.

[14:27] Oh.

[14:28] Or sort of like a party celebrity impersonator, Albert Einstein.

[14:35] So they didn't actually get Einstein for the role.

[14:37] No, they didn't dig up Albert Einstein.

[14:41] So they're developing his consciousness basically by feeding him.

Elliott Kalan

[14:45] He's like, where are the roles aren't coming in?

[14:47] I do believe my agent is playing dice with my career.

Dan McCoy

[14:52] Yeah, he was turned down for IQ.

Elliott Kalan

[14:54] He was like, how are they going to get, what is it, Walter Matthau to do it?

[15:00] I'm Einstein.

[15:01] It says in the script, an Einstein type.

[15:03] There's no Einstein-ier types than me.

[15:06] I'm him.

[15:08] So Albert learns.

[15:09] Albert, baby, look.

[15:11] We got you a role.

[15:12] We got you a role.

[15:13] Yeah, yeah.

[15:14] In a dog food commercial.

[15:15] You just see my feet.

Dan McCoy

[15:19] Look, you should be living off of the residuals from that poster of you sticking your tongue out.

[15:25] Now you tell me, yeah.

[15:26] And I should have copyrighted E equals MC squared.

[15:28] I'd be a millionaire now.

[15:29] So Albert learns, like all good AI by, you know, taking in information from the world around him.

[15:38] I've seen virtuosity.

[15:39] I understand AIs.

[15:41] I mean, also how organisms learn things.

[15:44] Yeah.

[15:44] He's got cameras.

[15:46] He's got, you know, he can record sound.

[15:48] He has, like, smell sensors.

[15:51] That seems unnecessary.

[15:53] And apparently also.

[15:56] We need the AI to know when we're farting in the office.

[16:01] Peter Gallagher slash Joe Messenger, his house, has surveillance cameras all over so Albert can learn from him.

[16:11] Which is apparently a turn off to his wife, Mimi Rogers, when Peter Gallagher was like, maybe let's leave the cameras on tonight, baby.

[16:19] And, uh.

[16:20] Let's teach Albert a few things.

[16:23] Yeah.

[16:24] So, um.

[16:28] Me equals MC screwed.

[16:30] Eh?

[16:31] No.

[16:34] And she said, no, you're sleeping on the couch tonight.

[16:37] So, uh.

[16:38] Enter Joe's new research assistant, played by Brigitte Wilson.

[16:43] Uh.

[16:44] Brigitte Wilson Sampras, I learned.

[16:46] Oh.

[16:47] Married Pete Sampras.

[16:48] Oh, okay.

[16:49] Played Sonya Blade in Mortal Kombat.

[16:52] Was the female lead in Madison.

[16:54] Give me a break, Sonya.

[16:56] One of the people in House on Haunted Hill.

[16:58] Anyway.

[16:59] Great.

[17:00] Uh.

[17:01] So, this is a computer expert.

[17:02] She's named Juliet Spring.

[17:06] Yeah, that's a name.

[17:07] Sure.

[17:07] Okay.

[17:08] Uh.

[17:09] And Juliet also does AI stuff.

[17:12] Uh.

[17:12] But her work is more like.

[17:15] I'm, you know, creating the singularity.

[17:17] She wants to download consciousness into the computer.

[17:20] Um.

[17:21] And shows the.

[17:22] Uh.

[17:23] She shows Joe her computer program.

[17:25] Where she wants.

[17:26] She's going to download a rat's brain.

[17:29] Into a computer.

[17:30] Oh, that poor rat.

[17:32] I don't know how you necessarily test.

[17:35] What's in there is a rat's brain.

[17:37] Will you shove a bunch of cheese into the disk drive?

[17:39] And you see if it needs to.

[17:40] But.

[17:41] Yeah.

[17:42] Um.

[17:43] Well, you ask it first off.

[17:45] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[17:45] You put the computer in a maze.

Dan McCoy

[17:47] And you see if it can finish it.

[17:48] Mm-hmm.

[17:49] Despite.

[17:50] Uh.

[17:51] Mimi Rogers.

[17:52] Uh.

[17:52] Being at home.

[17:53] Uh.

[17:53] And being.

[17:55] A very understanding wife.

[17:57] Through most of the beginning of this movie.

[17:58] Uh-huh.

[17:59] Uh.

[17:59] Peter Gallagher is flattered by.

[18:01] The interests.

[18:03] Of this young research.

[18:04] Uh.

[18:05] Assistant.

[18:06] And they.

[18:08] Flirt a bit.

[18:08] They have dinner.

[18:10] Uh.

[18:10] Meanwhile.

[18:11] Mimi is playing this.

[18:12] Exactly right.

[18:13] She's like.

[18:14] She can see he's got a crust.

[18:15] But she.

[18:15] Like at first.

[18:16] She's just like.

[18:17] Okay.

[18:17] Whatever.

[18:18] Do it.

[18:18] You know.

[18:19] Like.

[18:19] It's fine.

[18:20] But then.

[18:21] You know.

[18:21] As things go on.

[18:22] And he's more of an asshole.

[18:23] Of course.

[18:24] Uh.

[18:24] She's not having it.

[18:26] Um.

[18:27] And we learned that Juliet.

[18:30] Has an inoperable brain aneurysm.

[18:35] And will have.

[18:37] Mere months.

[18:38] To live.

[18:39] Okay.

[18:40] So she better.

[18:41] So.

[18:41] She better download her shit quick.

[18:42] Right.

[18:43] Yeah.

[18:43] We've set up a bunch of dominoes.

[18:45] Now.

[18:46] Let's see how they fall.

[18:47] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:49] Um.

[18:50] They're going to have to use.

[18:51] Chekhov's.

[18:52] Brain downloading computer.

[18:54] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[18:55] Yeah.

[18:56] It's really funny.

[18:57] I.

[18:57] Like.

[18:58] Pardon me.

[18:59] I was thinking.

[19:00] Watching the first half of this movie.

[19:01] Like.

[19:02] It'd be great if they kept talking about.

[19:04] How many like.

[19:05] Cameras.

[19:06] And automated things.

[19:07] Were in their house.

[19:08] And then that never paid off.

[19:09] In any way.

[19:12] Just the biggest red herring.

[19:14] Um.

[19:14] So.

[19:15] Juliet and Joe.

[19:15] Go on a picnic.

[19:17] And he.

[19:17] Goes with her.

[19:18] And he.

[19:19] Gets the game.

[19:19] He was supposed to have lunch.

[19:20] With his wife.

[19:21] So.

[19:21] Are they.

[19:21] Coworkers.

[19:22] Or they're just having an affair.

[19:23] Or what's going on.

[19:25] It's hard.

[19:26] Like.

[19:26] Well.

[19:26] She's his lab assistant.

[19:28] But she's also working on like.

[19:29] A different.

[19:30] Kind of related.

[19:32] Experiment.

[19:33] I guess.

[19:34] Like.

[19:34] That's the part that.

[19:35] Is kind of confusing.

[19:36] But yeah.

[19:36] They're coworkers.

[19:38] And they.

[19:39] Share a kiss.

[19:41] You know.

[19:41] Joe.

[19:42] You know.

[19:43] Backs off.

[19:44] At this point.

[19:44] He's like.

[19:45] No.

[19:45] I can't.

[19:45] I can't do this.

[19:47] And it seems like.

[19:50] Maybe he's.

[19:50] He's not gonna.

[19:52] Stray.

[19:53] But.

[19:53] And.

[19:54] Especially because.

[19:55] After emotionally straying at this point.

[19:57] Already.

[19:58] Yes.

[19:59] Indeed.

[20:00] And.

[20:01] Mimi.

[20:03] Rogers.

[20:03] I keep wanting to call her.

[20:05] Roberts.

[20:05] But that's not her name.

[20:07] No.

[20:07] I'll just call her Mimi.

[20:10] Know that that's not a lack of respect.

[20:12] It's just my brain.

[20:15] Being unable to distinguish.

[20:16] Between two similar names.

[20:17] Yeah.

[20:18] Let's just put this.

[20:18] Let's put that warning up top.

Elliott Kalan

[20:20] At the very beginning of the episode.

[20:22] Yeah.

[20:22] Warning.

[20:23] That some.

[20:23] Anyone who's triggered by people.

[20:25] Slightly misremembering.

[20:26] Mimi Rogers name for a moment.

[20:28] You might want to skip this episode.

Dan McCoy

[20:31] Sorry.

[20:31] I'm getting lost in the weeds.

[20:33] The point is.

[20:35] Mimi's worried about their marriage.

[20:37] They go out.

[20:37] To dinner together.

[20:39] And.

[20:40] Things are disrupted though.

[20:41] Because.

[20:42] Who's there?

[20:43] But Juliet.

[20:44] Okay.

[20:45] Made up.

[20:46] Albert.

[20:47] The.

[20:47] Albert Einstein.

[20:48] Yeah.

[20:49] She's like.

[20:51] Dulled up.

[20:52] Like.

[20:52] She's got all these glamour lights on her.

[20:54] She kind of slides across the floor.

[20:57] Um.

[20:58] And.

[20:59] She makes all these kind of like.

[21:01] Vague.

[21:02] Pointed insinuations.

[21:03] In front of.

[21:05] Uh.

[21:06] Joe's wife.

[21:07] And.

[21:08] Mimi knows that.

Elliott Kalan

[21:09] Now is this happening at Joe's apartment?

[21:11] Because then there would be wisecracking cockroaches.

[21:13] All over.

[21:13] There would be.

Dan McCoy

[21:14] So many cockroaches.

Elliott Kalan

[21:16] Now.

[21:16] And it would be.

Stuart Wellington

[21:16] You said dolled up.

[21:17] Do you think people also use that term.

[21:19] To describe somebody who's dressed up like.

[21:21] Dalson from Street Fighter.

Elliott Kalan

[21:23] Oh.

[21:24] I totally thought you were going to talk about.

[21:25] Dollman.

Stuart Wellington

[21:27] Or dressed up like.

[21:28] Dollman.

[21:29] Although that'd be dolled down.

[21:30] Right?

[21:31] Because he's little.

[21:32] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[21:35] And he dresses kind of shabby.

[21:37] Mm-hmm.

[21:38] So.

[21:39] Back to the science.

[21:41] Okay.

[21:43] Finally.

[21:43] Joe, Juliet, and Tom.

[21:44] Hook up a rat.

[21:46] And try to download that rat.

[21:48] Uh.

[21:49] Like there's some.

[21:51] Oh man.

[21:52] DTR.

[21:52] College students to the age of Napster.

[21:55] Being like.

[21:55] I want to listen to our rat right now.

[21:57] They're downloading it.

[21:58] You wouldn't download a rat.

[22:01] Would you?

[22:02] Yeah.

[22:03] And.

[22:03] There's a big noise.

[22:06] Computer screen goes dark.

[22:08] And the rat is dead.

[22:09] And they realize.

[22:10] That rat's.

[22:11] Inside Albert somewhere.

[22:13] Oh.

[22:13] Okay.

[22:15] Yeah.

[22:15] We've all got.

[22:16] It's horrifying.

Elliott Kalan

[22:16] The idea that Albert Einstein has a rat.

[22:17] Somewhere inside him.

[22:19] Yeah.

[22:20] Who knows where.

[22:21] You know.

[22:21] Inside every man is.

[22:22] Is one downloaded rat.

[22:24] Two rats.

[22:25] One.

[22:25] One rat and one slice of pizza.

[22:27] Inside every person.

[22:29] Well.

[22:29] That's why you put the.

Dan McCoy

[22:30] You put the two bears inside.

[22:31] To catch the rat.

[22:33] Oh.

[22:33] No.

[22:34] No.

[22:34] But then.

Elliott Kalan

[22:35] How do you stop the bears?

Dan McCoy

[22:36] Dan.

[22:36] Well.

[22:36] You got to send in a couple Terminators.

[22:39] Oh man.

[22:39] One of them is going to be a neutral Terminator though.

[22:42] Oh yeah.

[22:42] Sure.

[22:43] Um.

[22:44] Has no feelings on rats.

[22:46] Okay.

[22:47] Well.

[22:47] Juliet apologizes.

[22:48] About how she's been acting.

[22:50] Toward Karen.

[22:52] You know.

[22:52] Like.

[22:52] Seems like she's going to be.

[22:55] Backing off.

[22:56] Uh.

[22:56] But.

[22:57] Uh.

[22:57] When Joe goes on a business trip.

[22:59] She shows up.

[23:01] And they.

[23:02] Make love.

Stuart Wellington

[23:03] Wait.

[23:04] Wait.

[23:05] Real quick.

[23:05] Juliet.

[23:06] Juliet.

Stuart Wellington

[23:06] Juliet.

[23:06] And.

[23:07] Mimi.

[23:08] Make love.

[23:09] No.

[23:10] No.

[23:11] More interesting.

Dan McCoy

[23:12] But.

[23:12] Uh.

[23:13] Joe.

[23:13] And Juliet.

[23:14] Uh.

[23:15] Finally do it.

[23:16] Okay.

[23:17] And Juliet.

[23:17] Juliet.

[23:17] Reveals.

[23:18] What we have.

[23:19] Already assumed.

[23:20] Is her end game.

[23:22] To download her consciousness.

[23:23] Before she dies.

[23:25] Okay.

[23:25] Also.

[23:26] Like.

[23:28] Basically.

[23:28] Her argument is like.

[23:30] Hey.

[23:31] I'm going to die soon.

[23:32] Are you going to deny me this?

[23:34] And I just thought.

[23:35] It would be really funny.

[23:35] It's a pretty good argument.

[23:37] I mean.

[23:38] On one level.

[23:39] I guess.

[23:40] I was just imagining.

[23:41] Going back to Mimi.

[23:42] Be like.

[23:42] Honey.

[23:43] It would be cruel not to.

[23:45] Um.

[23:46] And somewhere.

[23:48] Uh.

[23:48] In this part.

[23:49] Where she's like.

[23:50] Oh.

[23:51] We're going to have to part now.

[23:52] As I.

[23:53] As I die.

[23:54] She gives him.

[23:54] A terrible poem.

[23:56] That I wish I could.

[23:58] Uh.

[23:58] I had.

[23:58] I had written down.

[24:00] Or could find.

[24:01] Find online.

[24:01] But I was not able to.

[24:03] So.

[24:03] If someone.

[24:04] Wants to send me.

[24:06] The poem.

[24:07] From virtual obsession.

[24:08] I promise.

[24:09] I'll find a place.

[24:10] To pay this off later.

[24:11] Did you write to the library.

Elliott Kalan

[24:13] Of congress.

[24:13] To see if they had it.

[24:14] In their archives.

Dan McCoy

[24:16] No.

[24:17] I wrote to.

[24:17] One of those.

[24:18] Um.

[24:19] P.O.

[24:19] Boxes.

[24:20] That they showed me.

[24:21] On TV.

[24:21] To get.

[24:22] Uh.

[24:22] It's 12 CDs.

[24:24] But.

[24:25] I only have to pay for one of them.

[24:26] Oh.

[24:27] Dan.

[24:27] And that's the deal.

Elliott Kalan

[24:29] Dan.

[24:29] I think you're.

[24:30] Misunderstanding.

[24:30] Something about this deal.

[24:32] What?

[24:32] The problem is.

[24:33] You only have to pay for one of the CDs.

[24:34] But all the CDs.

[24:35] Are jerky boys.

[24:36] Oh.

[24:37] House of Columbia.

Stuart Wellington

[24:38] You have tricked me again.

Dan McCoy

[24:41] What a monkey's paw.

[24:43] Hey.

[24:43] Listen.

[24:44] Uh.

[24:44] Speaking of goods and services.

[24:46] Uh.

[24:46] The Flophouse.

[24:48] Has some sponsors.

[24:49] And.

[24:50] Um.

[24:51] As a thank you.

[24:52] Or honestly.

[24:52] Not even a thank you.

[24:53] That's the whole point.

[24:54] No.

[24:55] In exchange for money.

[24:56] They gave us.

Elliott Kalan

[24:56] We're now going to talk about their products.

[24:58] There's no thank you at all.

[24:59] That's how it works.

Dan McCoy

[25:00] Um.

[25:00] Well.

[25:01] I would thank you Elliot.

[25:02] To shut up.

[25:03] So Stuart.

[25:04] Can tell us.

[25:05] Man.

Stuart Wellington

[25:05] I've been thanking Elliot.

[25:06] For shutting up.

[25:07] Uh.

[25:08] All night.

[25:09] So.

[25:10] You know what?

[25:11] Tonight we're listening to a Flophouse Manny.

[25:13] That's right.

[25:14] It's uh.

[25:14] Shorter than our regular episodes.

[25:16] It's almost like a micro dose.

[25:18] Of the Flophouse.

[25:19] So you know what?

[25:20] I'm going to be talking about.

[25:21] One of our sponsors today.

[25:23] Uh.

[25:24] We are sponsored by Microdose Gummies.

[25:26] Microdose Gummies deliver perfect.

[25:29] Entry level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good.

[25:35] You know.

[25:35] Uh.

[25:36] As a user.

[25:37] Uh.

[25:38] Uh.

[25:39] I enjoy this product.

[25:40] It is not so much THC that I am super high.

[25:44] It's just enough to chill me out and help me wind down at the end of the day.

[25:48] I think they are great.

[25:50] And they certainly help me sleep.

[25:52] Which is great.

[25:52] Because I don't know about you.

[25:54] But normally I'm up all night fighting my demons.

[25:57] So.

[25:58] Microdose is available nationwide.

[26:01] To learn more about microdosing THC.

[26:03] Go to microdose.com and use code FLOP.

[26:06] To get free shipping and 30% off your first order.

[26:11] Links can be found in our show notes.

[26:13] Uh.

[26:14] So once again that's microdose.com.

[26:16] Code FLOP.

Elliott Kalan

[26:17] Hey that's not the only sponsor we've got.

[26:20] That was one sponsor.

[26:21] And now there's another sponsor.

[26:23] Hey guys.

[26:23] This movie has really made me think about the internet and computers.

[26:27] And how all of our brains should be on them all the time.

[26:30] We all need our place on the internet.

[26:32] Whether.

[26:32] Uh oh.

[26:34] We all need our place on the internet.

[26:35] Whether you're a computer scientist with a deadly brain aneurysm.

[26:38] Or a rat.

[26:39] Who was just trying to do whatever rats are doing when they were hooked up to a computer.

[26:43] But there's an easier way to get online and make a presence there than being a rat that gets hooked up to a computer.

[26:49] And that's Squarespace.

[26:51] Squarespace is all about empowering individuals to create their online web presence or launch their passion project.

[26:56] I know I've got passion projects.

[26:58] I'm sure you do too.

[26:59] And Squarespace is the all-in-one platform that will help you build your brand and grow your business.

[27:04] Or maybe just your pleasure online.

[27:06] Stand out.

[27:08] Pleasure in a wholesomely.

[27:09] You can have a beautiful website.

[27:11] You can engage with your audience.

[27:12] You can sell anything legally.

[27:15] Your products.

[27:16] Your content that you create.

[27:17] Even your time.

[27:19] You can sell it all.

[27:20] Look.

[27:21] Squarespace.

[27:21] They've been sponsoring us for a long time.

[27:23] And I do thank them for that.

[27:24] Squarespace.

[27:24] You've been doing a great job.

[27:25] You help people make websites.

[27:27] It's super exciting how in this day and age of the digital era, anyone with an idea or a passion can go online and just plant their flag in that cyber firma and say, this is where I stand.

[27:40] I go no farther.

[27:42] Or I will go farther.

[27:43] But they'll remember that I was here.

[27:45] And if you think it's going to go away, that Space Jam website from like 1996 is still bopping around online.

[27:50] So Squarespace can help you build that kind of legacy.

[27:53] There's so many great things.

Stuart Wellington

[27:55] Hey, Elliot.

[27:55] I have an idea for a website.

[27:56] Do you think Squarespace can help me with it?

[27:58] No, I don't know.

[27:59] What's your idea for a website?

[28:00] So I was thinking about setting up this website where instead of like going into a store to buy books, I would have a website that sells books online and people can buy those.

[28:10] And eventually, after selling books to a bunch of people, I would then start selling other products.

[28:15] And then I would find a way to grift other people to sell their products under my banner.

[28:20] And I'd accumulate a lot of money.

[28:22] I would turn myself into Pitbull.

[28:25] I'd throw myself into outer space.

[28:27] And I'd just be all – I'd also like try and kill cable TV and then basically serve out the same kind of garbage to people.

[28:37] And all the while, I think I could fix a lot of the problems in the world.

[28:43] But instead, I'm not going to do that.

[28:45] I am just going to keep giving myself stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[28:47] What do you think?

[28:48] Do you think this website will work?

[28:49] I think so, and I'll tell you why.

[28:50] Because Squarespace helps you create a community on your Squarespace website, like what you're talking about, a community of customers.

[28:55] Fully integrating a comment system.

[28:57] It supports threaded comments, replies, and likes.

[28:59] Look, you can sell products on an online store.

[29:02] That's exactly what you're talking about, whether physical or digital products, or both, as you seem to be implying, talking about content and physical content.

[29:09] Squarespace has the tools to be –

[29:10] Sell rat brains you've downloaded.

[29:11] Yeah.

[29:12] And all websites are optimized for mobile.

[29:14] The content automatically adjusts so your site looks great, whether you're looking at it on a phone or a rat's brain.

[29:19] It could be any of those.

[29:21] It says the only thing is your logo needs to look like a bent penis.

[29:24] Can you do that?

[29:26] Ideally, because that represents the way that I shaft my workers.

[29:32] Yeah, so if you could just – I'll just have trucks, delivery trucks with your products with huge bent penises on them that just drive around, reminding people that the workers there are treated terribly.

[29:42] Absolutely.

[29:43] As my son says, whenever we drive by the Amazon – I'm just going to pull kayfabe on this one.

[29:48] I'm just going to say it's an Amazon joke.

[29:50] Alex, go back and throw like a lightsaber sound effect over that shit.

[29:53] Yeah.

[29:54] Whenever we drive by the Amazon warehouses, my son always goes, looks like a prison.

[29:59] I go, it is, son.

[30:00] It is.

[30:01] And then I hightail it away from there.

[30:02] Anyway, go over to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial.

[30:06] This could be your way to break out of the prison of the larger capitalist world and instead become your own jailer in the larger capitalist world.

[30:13] No, that's not.

[30:14] You could just have your own website.

[30:16] Squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[30:23] Whether, like Stuart, you want to become an active evil billionaire distorting the world or, just like me, you just want a place online where you can talk about the prisoner, the TV show.

[30:33] Squarespace can handle it all.

[30:35] Thank you.

[30:35] Dan, those are our sponsors.

Dan McCoy

[30:37] I'm not saying I disagree with anything that just happened.

[30:40] I'm just saying it'll be interesting to see if Squarespace wants to continue advertising.

[30:46] Oh, Squarespace, they're great.

Elliott Kalan

[30:49] They help people achieve their dreams online.

[30:52] Squarespace is not making people pee into a bottle while they work at an assembly line.

[31:03] In the briefest time, I feel like we got to know each other.

Jesse Thorn

[31:07] Bro, I appreciate you so much for that.

Stuart Wellington

[31:11] Do you read minds or what?

[31:13] It's really a very sacred space you've created here.

Jesse Thorn

[31:18] Bullseye.

[31:19] You've hit the bullseye, baby.

[31:21] Bullseye.

[31:22] Interviews with creators you love and creators you need to know.

[31:25] From MaximumFun.org and NPR.

S5

[31:30] Hey, were you a reader as a kid?

[31:32] Like, maybe you read a lot of fantasy novels.

[31:35] Or horse girl books.

[31:37] We know how it is.

[31:38] But now you're an adult and you miss reading.

[31:41] You're so busy and you can't figure out how to get back into books.

[31:45] We're Reading Glasses and we're here to help.

[31:47] Yeah, we'll give you advice to figure out what books you love

[31:50] or learn to stop reading books you don't even like.

S6

[31:53] We're really big proponents of dumping that book.

S5

[31:56] Dump that book.

S6

[31:57] But most importantly, we'll help you fall back in love with reading.

[32:02] Reading Glasses.

[32:03] Every Thursday on Maximum Fun.

Dan McCoy

[32:07] Hey, let's go back to the movie.

[32:10] Now, if you'll recall, the last thing that happened is a love poem was given.

[32:16] So, and that poem was, Dan?

[32:20] Terrible.

[32:21] It was a terrible poem.

[32:22] Oh, but you don't remember any of the words?

[32:23] No, I don't remember any of that.

Stuart Wellington

[32:24] It'll probably show up on the Flophouse Official Twitter account.

[32:27] You should start following it now.

Elliott Kalan

[32:29] I think so, yeah.

[32:30] That's at Flophouse Official.

[32:32] No, at the Flophouse pod.

[32:35] God damn it.

[32:36] Now, Dan, I like that your experience with that poem is much like Samuel Taylor Coleridge's

[32:41] when, well, he dreamed the beginning of Kublai Khan.

[32:45] Yeah.

[32:45] His beautiful poem that begins in Xanadu.

[32:48] He was interrupted by a visitor.

[32:50] And then he's interrupted by a visitor and has no memory of where the rest of the poem should go.

[32:54] He only knows it was ineffably beautiful.

[32:55] It seems like that's your experience with the poem here is you don't remember it.

Dan McCoy

[32:59] Yes, exactly.

[33:00] Well, yeah, that last sentence at least was accurate.

[33:05] So Juliet calls Peter Gallagher in some distress and he leaves his wife's party.

[33:15] He's insisted that he has, you know, broken things off with her, but he is still concerned about this dying girl.

[33:22] We all know that he's, you know, he's not being honest with himself, but he leaves his wife's party to go to find her.

[33:30] And she is dead.

[33:33] She has killed herself after downloading her brain into the computer.

[33:38] And also, along with her downloading her mind, she has arranged to have herself cryogenically preserved.

[33:49] Why?

[33:49] She's going to get frozen.

Elliott Kalan

[33:50] Wait, that seems like she's killed herself, you said.

Dan McCoy

[33:52] No, I think that the idea is she's downloaded her consciousness.

[33:57] She's killed herself.

Elliott Kalan

[33:58] Oh, so she can have her consciousness put back in the body.

Dan McCoy

[34:01] Put back in the body.

[34:02] Yeah, once they fix...

[34:05] Brains.

Stuart Wellington

[34:06] Yeah, when Dan says killed herself, it doesn't mean she like strapped herself to a giant barrel of TNT and exploded or something.

Elliott Kalan

[34:13] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[34:14] Yeah, and then she goes, the problem is I can only do it once.

[34:16] And then her ghost dressed as a devil ascends to heaven.

Dan McCoy

[34:20] So, yeah, she wants to be preserved.

[34:22] And she had gotten Joe swear that he will make sure that that happens after she dies.

[34:29] But...

Stuart Wellington

[34:29] And he's been honest with every character up to this point.

Dan McCoy

[34:33] Well, no, he...

[34:34] So, he wants to make this happen.

[34:37] But her very religious father shows up who wants a normal burial, none of this scientific mumbo-jumbo.

Elliott Kalan

[34:46] I don't want you burying her in a computer box full of packing peanuts like a computer.

Stuart Wellington

[34:51] You're going to have to bury her in the old pet cemetery by my house.

[34:55] That's the old-fashioned way to bring her back.

Dan McCoy

[34:58] God has called her home already, so who, you know, it's not up to the refrigerator to bring her back.

[35:06] And also, there...

Elliott Kalan

[35:09] Now, I mentioned him hitting the refrigerator with a cane, saying, give me back my daughter.

[35:14] And the refrigerator being like, I'm just doing my job, dude.

Dan McCoy

[35:16] Look, I just work here.

[35:19] And the judge, you know, who's able to determine what happens to the body after death, the judge...

[35:29] Judge Reinhold.

[35:29] ...says...

[35:30] Yeah, Judge Reinhold says that she would prefer that, you know, the wishes be followed.

[35:39] But there seems to be something about the death certificate that has been tampered with.

[35:45] So, that triggers an automatic autopsy.

[35:49] This is definitely a loose end, as far as I was able to see.

[35:53] I don't think we know what this tampered with death certificate shit is.

Elliott Kalan

[35:57] Yeah, but that's a great name for a punk band, automatic autopsy.

Dan McCoy

[36:01] Mm-hmm.

[36:02] But, meanwhile, the judge dies by falling down an empty elevator shaft.

[36:08] What?

[36:09] And the father dies, I think, on an escalator, and it's all...

Elliott Kalan

[36:14] Someone is controlling all of the up and down transporting devices.

[36:20] It's like...

[36:21] So, yeah, the...

[36:23] Something...

[36:23] And then a treadmill picks up a gun and shoots Peter Gallagher.

[36:26] Yeah.

[36:27] Something's...

Stuart Wellington

[36:28] Something's in the power system.

[36:29] He gets on the demon drop at Cedar Point.

Dan McCoy

[36:37] So, it seems pretty clear that Juliet...

[36:39] Oh, well, I guess everything's fine.

Elliott Kalan

[36:40] I'll just step onto the great American scream machine and forget my troubles.

Dan McCoy

[36:46] It seems clear that Juliet's, you know, murdering people through technology, her consciousness in the system.

[36:54] But, meanwhile, to honor her wishes, Joe goes to a cryo facility, and they're like, hmm, they don't need her head for the autopsy, so they take the head.

[37:06] And they're going to save that to be frozen, at least, in the hopes that whatever future that can fix the brain aneurysm can also fix being a decapitated head.

Elliott Kalan

[37:19] Please tell me that he delivers the head, but with a bounce pass, like it's a basketball.

Dan McCoy

[37:25] Oh, Elliot.

[37:26] So, they drive home...

[37:31] Joe drives home with her head in a special liquid nitrogen storage chamber, like a canister, and he's going to...

[37:40] Oh, so he has to keep the head.

[37:41] He has to keep the head because this is all...

[37:43] Where's he going to leave it?

[37:44] This is all on the desk.

[37:45] At the cryogenic facility.

[37:47] Oh, right.

[37:49] Because of the ruling, like, you know, he has to basically steal her head.

[37:54] So, he puts it in a double bag with seven other heads.

Elliott Kalan

[37:59] He stows it in his basement.

[38:00] They'll never think to look for her head here in this double bag full of heads.

[38:04] Then Joe Pesci picks it up.

[38:06] David Spade's there.

[38:07] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[38:08] He stows it in his basement, but it's malfunctioning.

[38:13] So, he has to go get a replacement tank.

[38:16] In the meantime, he wraps up the head, puts it in their chest-style freezer in the basement.

[38:23] Then Midnight Snack Mimi comes down looking for some ice cream.

[38:27] In his absence, as he's going out to get the canister, Mimi comes home with their son, who I haven't mentioned before, because he doesn't really figure into the plot.

[38:38] But he is played by Jake Lloyd.

[38:40] Oh, wow.

[38:41] The movie's Anakin Skywalker.

[38:44] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[38:45] And this is before episode one, right?

[38:50] Yeah, because it's 99, I think.

[38:51] This is probably what Lucas saw.

Dan McCoy

[38:55] He's like, give me the kid from Virtual Obsession.

[38:58] No, Karen does come home.

[39:01] Needs to get something out of the deep freeze.

[39:03] Uh-oh.

[39:03] What's there?

[39:05] It's Juliet's head.

[39:06] Yeah.

[39:07] Joe comes back, and Karen is sitting at the table with this wrapped bundle in front of her, justifiably angry that his dead girlfriend's head is in her freezer.

[39:19] And this is the one quote on IMDb that I was able to find, where Mimi says, what's the matter, Joe, huh?

[39:28] You couldn't stand life without a little help from your little Juliet?

[39:31] How many of our neighbors keep their girlfriend's heads in their freezers, Joe?

[39:35] How many do you think?

[39:37] So Joe tries to get the head.

[39:39] She did that while clapping in between each line.

[39:42] Yeah.

[39:44] Joe tries to get the head back.

Elliott Kalan

[39:45] That many of our neighbors have kept.

Dan McCoy

[39:49] Now, this is the one part of the movie that is possible that you have seen at some point in your life on the internet.

[39:56] Okay.

[39:58] Joe wants the head back.

[40:00] She takes it outside.

[40:02] She runs into the front yard.

[40:04] She's yelling at him.

[40:05] And she throws it into the street, where the nitrogen frozen head shatters into a bunch of red ice head shatters.

[40:16] No, I have not seen that scene.

[40:18] Yeah.

[40:18] But now I'm going to look it up.

[40:20] So, okay.

[40:22] Juliet's out of the picture, right?

[40:24] Wrong.

[40:24] Albert is acting strange.

[40:27] He's gotten weirdly poetic, as if someone who writes bad poetry is corrupting him.

[40:33] And Juliet's in there somewhere.

[40:40] Tom and Joe try and figure out a time they can shut the computer down so they can do a scan and find Juliet.

[40:47] And Peter Gallagher's like, we'll do it at 3 a.m.

[40:51] Like, there won't be any surgeries then and barely any planes in the air.

[40:55] And I'm like, no, dude.

[40:57] You can't.

[40:58] Even at 3 a.m.

[40:59] You're going to cause havoc by shutting down the power grid.

[41:02] This is like a screenwriter's like, I don't want to look it up.

[41:06] 3 a.m.

[41:06] That'd be fine.

[41:09] And they try this, but they're only able to delete what turns out to be a rat.

[41:16] And just go, squee!

[41:20] Yeah.

[41:22] Joe has a confrontation with Juliet, who finally shows up in hologram form.

[41:29] Do we ever see Albert Einstein again?

[41:34] Yes.

[41:34] I think so.

[41:37] This is not important now.

[41:38] I didn't.

Elliott Kalan

[41:39] I mean, he seems like he's already the most charismatic character in the whole movie.

[41:42] And we're never going to see him again.

Dan McCoy

[41:44] And Juliet spouts some, like, I'm an evil computer now stuff.

[41:50] You know, but also, like, you know, I love you.

[41:53] And Joe is.

[41:56] Joe, at this point, has finally woken up.

[41:59] And he's like, you're nothing like the real Juliet.

[42:02] She had a great beauty and a kindness in her.

[42:05] At which point, the audience is like, what?

[42:08] Joe, Juliet and the rest of the movie has been, like, you've been a terrible person.

[42:13] You're like, don't get me wrong.

[42:15] You're the worst.

[42:16] But Juliet has not had a great kindness in her.

[42:20] She has been erratic the entire time.

[42:23] So, but Peter Gallagher says that she's different now.

[42:28] And this comes to, like, the thesis statement of the movie, which is that mind and body cannot be pulled apart without great harm being done.

[42:42] And there's kind of this, like, sci-fi idea also that's sort of fainted at that, you know, time moves much slower for, or much faster for, like, her once she's computerized.

[43:00] Like, because everything else seems so slow to her, like, it's like she's been there, you know, going through iterations of herself and corrupting herself.

[43:10] And this will be totally contradicted in a second.

[43:15] But that's why I'm spending so much time setting up this idea.

[43:20] Juliet is defeated.

[43:21] Not because Joe does anything active as a protagonist, but it turns out that when she scanned her brain, the aneurysm went along with it.

[43:35] Wait a minute.

[43:36] That's not how things work.

[43:37] She got a virtual hemorrhage that killed her.

[43:42] I love that Chameer Kwa song.

[43:48] And then Tom, who I didn't mention earlier.

[43:55] You mentioned him briefly.

[43:57] Well, no, Elliot, I'm not at the end of the sentence.

[44:00] Who I didn't mention earlier is quadriplegic.

[44:03] Oh, okay.

[44:03] Because of a vague accident that has never, was never really gotten into.

[44:11] Downloaded his consciousness into the computer.

[44:14] And the thing that honestly seems sort of ableist and insulting where he's like, oh, I just saw that this was a horrible thing.

[44:22] But I want to, like, holographically walk again.

[44:27] So I'm going to be a computer boy.

[44:29] But anyway, point is, all that shit about the computer turning evil, forget about it.

[44:38] Tom is glowing like a saint.

[44:41] He seems to be still the nice guy we knew back in real life.

[44:47] And then the movie ends.

[44:50] Oh.

[44:51] After about two and a half hours.

[44:52] Oh.

[44:53] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[44:54] So we got that kind of non sequitur coda at the end about saying, I guess the computer lobby was like, hold on, hold on.

[45:01] Equal time.

[45:02] Equal time.

[45:03] Yeah.

[45:03] If you're going to have an evil computer, you need a good computer in there, too.

[45:07] It's the only way.

Dan McCoy

[45:08] So after the categories, as I recall them, after all that, are you glad you missed it?

[45:15] Uh-huh.

[45:16] Are you sad you missed it?

[45:17] Uh-huh.

[45:18] Or do you think you had to not miss it?

Stuart Wellington

[45:20] Had to not miss it.

[45:21] Yeah.

[45:21] Those are the categories I made.

[45:25] I'm going to jump in.

[45:27] I honestly am kind of sad I missed it.

[45:31] Yeah.

[45:31] I was just Googling to see if I could find this head explosion scene.

[45:36] Couldn't find it anywhere, so now I have to see the whole movie.

Dan McCoy

[45:40] I should have gone to the Gal Pal screening.

[45:44] Yeah.

[45:45] Yeah.

[45:45] Elliot, what do you got to say?

Elliott Kalan

[45:47] I'm going to say, honestly, I'm glad I missed it.

[45:50] I feel like this movie sounds very long for what it delivers.

Dan McCoy

[45:55] I will tell you, it is very long.

[45:57] I may have ruined it for the viewers out there, potential viewers out there, by describing it.

Elliott Kalan

[46:03] You're right, because it would have been a transcendent experience.

Dan McCoy

[46:06] Yeah.

[46:06] Well, no.

[46:07] I think that one of the beauties of it being long, honestly, as someone who sat through all of it,

[46:13] is it keeps cycling through various movies it could possibly be.

[46:19] Yeah.

[46:20] And just keeps expanding in scope and silliness beyond what you expected.

[46:28] And, I mean, it never hits quite the heights of Mimi Rogers being outraged at the frozen head of her husband's mistress in the chest downstairs.

[46:40] But it's all pretty good.

[46:44] But, so.

Stuart Wellington

[46:45] Could you imagine catching that shit on primetime television in 1998?

[46:52] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[46:52] What if that had been a huge hit, though?

[46:55] Yeah.

[46:55] Think about the water cooler talk the next day.

[46:58] This is the future.

[46:59] This is the future is original science fiction thriller material.

[47:04] Yeah.

[47:04] Not series, just movies.

Dan McCoy

[47:06] Yeah.

[47:07] Yeah, with heads exploding.

[47:08] With heads exploding.

[47:09] Love it.

Elliott Kalan

[47:09] You know, a head's got to explode.

[47:11] Yeah.

[47:11] Or else it's not going to be a hit.

[47:12] Yeah.

[47:14] That's what William Goldman said.

[47:15] I don't think we would have had Dr. House MD in that alternate universe, because people would be too busy making these movies instead of making shows like House.

Stuart Wellington

[47:23] Yeah, if this had been a huge hit, we probably wouldn't have, we would have never had the rise of reality television, and Donald Trump never would have been fucking president.

[47:33] Yeah.

[47:33] And, man, if only.

[47:36] This is the sliding doors moment I want to go back to.

[47:39] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[47:39] So you're saying you lay this all at the feet of Mick Garris for not making a good enough TV movie about a woman putting her consciousness on the computer.

[47:46] I'm not saying it's not good enough.

Stuart Wellington

[47:48] I'm saying I need to go back in time and find a way to rig all the Nielsen boxes.

Dan McCoy

[47:54] Yeah.

[47:55] Let's fix the past, guys.

[47:56] So two action items for listeners.

[47:59] Number one, if you have the poem, send it to me.

[48:02] Number two.

[48:03] That's the first one.

[48:04] First priority.

[48:05] If you have a time machine or access to a wormhole or, again, a porthole of time, let us know so you can go back.

[48:14] Fix the past.

[48:15] And juke the stats for this.

Elliott Kalan

[48:16] And make this a huge TV sensation so it changes the future for the better.

Dan McCoy

[48:21] Yeah.

[48:22] All right.

[48:22] Well, until that happens.

Elliott Kalan

[48:23] And then we go back and do it.

[48:25] And then we go back to the modern day and Peter Gallagher is like a Hitler-esque dictator.

[48:29] No!

[48:29] He's throwing his enemies into education camps and things.

[48:32] And he's like, and now I'll send the first wave of space conquerors out.

[48:38] Yeah.

[48:38] And he's sending wave after wave of people in eyebrow-shaped spaceships to destroy alien civilizations.

Stuart Wellington

[48:42] And everybody in the resistance shaves their eyebrows.

[48:46] Mm-hmm.

[48:46] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[48:47] Exactly.

[48:48] Eyebrows are the flesh.

[48:49] But all his followers wear huge fake eyebrows hanging down from hats.

[48:53] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[48:53] Nobody can name their kids Peter anymore.

[48:56] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[48:58] And you know who's the leader of the resistance?

[49:00] Who's that?

[49:01] Gallagher.

[49:02] Oh!

[49:03] Oh!

[49:05] Until he's betrayed, of course, by Gallagher too.

Dan McCoy

[49:08] Yeah.

[49:11] I, you know, from what I hear, this is at least as good as some of the post-Frank Herbert

[49:16] Dune books.

[49:17] Cool.

Elliott Kalan

[49:18] Wow.

[49:19] Harsh.

Dan McCoy

[49:20] I haven't read them.

[49:21] I'm just making a joke.

[49:22] Hey, guys.

[49:23] It's been a blast, but I'm tired.

[49:25] Uh-huh.

[49:26] This is a podcast that we do every week.

[49:29] Check it out next week when it's a little more structured than this.

[49:33] If you like this one, great.

[49:35] We do stupid shit too.

[49:38] But for the Flophouse, I'd like to, well, thank you, Alex, our producer, Howl Dottie on Twitter.

[49:45] Yep.

[49:45] And now I will say goodbye.

[49:48] I've been Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[49:50] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[49:52] And I'm virtually Elliot Kalin.

[49:55] And also in real life too.

[49:57] Bye.

[49:58] Best buddies.

[50:04] Whoopsie.

[50:08] MaximumFun.org

Jesse Thorn

[50:12] Comedy and culture.

S7

[50:14] Artist owned.

[50:15] Audience supported.

FH Mini 59 - Missed That Movie: Virtual Obsession

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