Episode #375 - Short Circuit 2, with Ben Hosley

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Short Circuit 2.

[0:05] If the first movie asks the question, who's Johnny?

[0:08] The second movie asks the question, where's Johnny?

[0:12] The answer, hell.

[0:14] What?

[0:17] OK, Toronto.

[0:18] It's Toronto.

[0:20] That's why it didn't look like New York.

[0:22] Yeah, because it's Toronto, but they never really

[0:25] refer to where he is.

[0:26] We'll talk about it.

[0:27] We'll talk about it.

[0:27] OK.

[0:30] We'll do it.

[0:31] We'll do it.

[0:51] Hey everyone.

[0:52] Welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:53] I, the one you're hearing right now, am Dan McGloy.

[0:58] And me, Stuart, the professional one.

[1:01] His last name is Wellington.

[1:02] That's how professional he is.

[1:04] That's his first name.

[1:05] And I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:06] And joining us, we have a very special guest today.

[1:10] Guest, please introduce yourself for the audience.

[1:12] They love a mystery.

[1:13] But now it's time to reveal the solution to the mystery of who

[1:16] is our guest today.

[1:17] Guest.

[1:18] Hello.

[1:19] It is Ben Hosley.

[1:21] It's Ben Hosley.

[1:22] Producer Ben, you may know him as.

[1:23] That's right.

[1:24] From Blank Check.

[1:25] Blank Check with Griffin and David.

[1:28] There's a whole list of nicknames

[1:29] that we will not go through.

[1:30] Oh, so we're not going to do the nicknames.

[1:32] OK.

[1:32] I appreciate that, actually.

[1:34] That is a bit.

[1:35] I can see you tensing up.

[1:37] Yeah, I feel like we started in the early days of the show.

[1:41] It's been going for about seven years.

[1:43] So, you know, I know it's cute.

[1:45] It's like about a half the run of.

[1:47] Almost half of our run.

[1:48] Yeah, yeah.

[1:49] That's amazing.

[1:49] Yeah, yeah.

[1:50] And yet, rocketed past us in success very quickly.

[1:53] Understandably.

[1:54] Yeah, it's a very good show.

[1:55] It's a good show.

[1:56] Probably listening to that.

[1:57] And probably because the episodes are shorter than ours.

[2:00] Wait a minute.

[2:01] They're not.

[2:02] They are not.

[2:03] They are so long and it feels like over the years

[2:06] they have just gotten longer and longer.

[2:08] Same.

[2:09] Truly like three hour run time.

[2:12] It's crazy.

[2:13] Ben, did you encourage David to have a child

[2:16] just to get the links of the episodes down?

[2:19] Do you? Yes.

[2:20] Yeah, yeah.

[2:20] Subconsciously, I was trying to, like, influence him

[2:23] so that he would impregnate his wife and hopefully would lead

[2:27] to him needing to go and constantly take care of his child

[2:31] and therefore cut down on the run time of our recordings.

[2:35] You kept being like, hey, man, look.

[2:36] Oh, look at this picture of this happy family with a baby.

[2:38] Man, that looks great.

[2:40] Oh, I just smiling.

[2:41] You're like you're like these episodes are getting so long.

[2:43] I got to start sending more chocolate covered strawberries

[2:46] to David's house so he can finally get this thing going.

[2:48] Sure, yeah, yeah, that's how it happens.

[2:51] No, I just break into his house and put rose petals on his bed

[2:54] so he can finally do it and get a baby.

[2:56] Yeah, just anonymous edible arrangements

[3:00] every other week coming to his doorstep.

[3:02] That's how you spice up a marriage, guys.

[3:05] Well, we were very excited to get Ben on the show.

[3:10] We've had, as you know, Griffin and David, if you're a listener, you've heard them.

[3:15] And Ben, we asked what he would like to talk about.

[3:21] OK, and I guess we were right up the top.

[3:24] You wanted to. I do. Yeah, yeah.

[3:26] OK, so so we're like, Ben, out of every possible movie we could watch.

[3:31] Yeah. What do you what are you dying to get to give more?

[3:36] What, like get more eyes on?

[3:39] Yeah, you said we said, what movie do you feel like needs to be seen,

[3:42] has to be seen, needs to be talked about?

[3:45] You want to just experience the magic of and it would help if one of the main

[3:48] characters who is where the least problematic thing about them

[3:52] is that their name is also your name, Ben.

[3:55] Sure. OK, so here's the context.

[3:58] We were drinking at the time of this conversation.

[4:00] So I just want to say that, yeah, like with Dan and Stuart, likely story.

[4:05] OK, sure. Yes.

[4:06] And so I know the show's been going for quite a long time.

[4:11] So I'm like, OK, what is like going to be some kind of deep cut movie

[4:17] that they haven't covered yet?

[4:19] And what came to mind was from my childhood,

[4:23] this dumb robot movie that I remember watching

[4:27] anytime I would catch it on cable TV. Yeah.

[4:30] And I also I remember. Yeah.

[4:33] I watched it a lot as a child as well.

[4:36] And what I remember about both of them, right, is that the robot

[4:40] he's a fun, cool guy.

[4:43] He's very cool. He's very cool.

[4:45] In the robots of my childhood, he is up there with the good robot

[4:50] Bill and Ted's from Bill and Ted's bogus journey, like under coolest robots

[4:53] I can think of. Yeah.

[4:55] So I remember, too, being where he really loosens up.

[4:59] Johnny. Yeah. Yeah.

[5:01] Yeah. No, it's less, you know, about the military sort of complex.

[5:06] He starts calling himself Johnny.

[5:08] Yeah. He processes trauma.

[5:10] He's ready to move on with his life.

[5:12] Yeah. And he's thriving.

[5:14] The first one, the first one, he's really discovering

[5:17] what it's like to be a sentient being.

[5:18] And the second one, he's like, I'm here.

[5:20] I'm alive. Time to reference every pop culture thing

[5:24] of the mid to late 80s over and over again.

[5:28] Just to make sure people make sure people know that I'm just a cool dude

[5:31] who never stops fucking talking ever, even when he's chasing down a wharf.

[5:36] I feel like I was less charmed by Johnny.

[5:40] Well, I think it was more that I think it's more by the end of the movie.

[5:42] I think the producers, the movie are like, this is not the exciting climax.

[5:46] We hoped it was.

[5:46] What if we just layer in tons and tons of off camera quips from Johnny

[5:50] five over and over again?

[5:52] And I know it's rich coming from me, a guy who never talks and is very annoying.

[5:56] But I got to say, it's just one of those times when I was watching it.

[5:59] And I think maybe that's what hurt me so much was seeing Johnny five

[6:01] and being like, is that what I'm like to people?

[6:04] But in a thing that is that is barely alive and is very annoying.

[6:08] Oh, terrible.

[6:09] In addition to the talking robot, there's something else

[6:12] about this movie that makes it notorious. Yeah.

[6:16] And I think that's what we're talking about. Right.

[6:18] So I suggested this film

[6:22] thinking about it as the 10 year old. Right. Yeah.

[6:26] The 10 year old that would watch this movie.

[6:29] And so I said, why not short circuit, too?

[6:32] Yeah. And then sat down to watch this film two days ago

[6:37] and was horrified. Yeah.

[6:40] By what we are going to now have to talk about.

[6:44] Now, when you made this suggestion to Dan, did you read the look of concern

[6:47] on his face? And they're like, why would Dan?

[6:51] Is it the movie's going to be so bad or maybe Dan's friend or robot?

[6:54] I thought he was shocked because it was such a good pick.

[6:58] It's like, why would we talk about that movie?

[7:00] It's a great movie.

[7:01] Oh, my God. We have overlooked this one.

[7:04] We haven't talked about it on the show.

[7:06] We have we have, in fact, referenced it a fair amount of time,

[7:10] specifically, usually the Los Lobos kick your balls into outer space.

[7:14] Los Locos.

[7:16] Los Locos is a band. They do not appear in the film.

[7:20] And I would argue I would argue, OK, there's two.

[7:24] I would say that obviously we're dancing around the most problematic thing

[7:26] in this movie, which is Fisher Stevens reprising the role of Ben,

[7:29] who is an Indian character that Fisher Stevens is playing in brownface character.

[7:34] They did. I will give them credit.

[7:35] They changed the character's last name from the first movie,

[7:39] I guess, to throw people off slightly.

[7:41] I don't know where they forgot.

[7:42] I mean, that may be the most insulting thing is they were just like,

[7:44] I guess he has some Indian last name.

[7:46] We'll give him another Indian last name.

[7:47] But I would say Los Locos are in some ways more offensive

[7:51] than Fisher Stevens performance because they are the idea that like street gang,

[7:56] OK, Latino, and they induct Johnny five into the gang.

[8:00] And he's immediately like, hey, and all they do is steal stereos from cars.

[8:05] I would argue they are even even more problematic than Fisher.

[8:08] Yeah, they are.

[8:08] Well, they have no they have no positive side.

[8:11] Whereas Fisher Stevens, he's a man who has looked back on his career,

[8:16] apologized that this happens like he seems thoughtful about it.

[8:21] You know, look, even like

[8:25] even at the time, they should have known better.

[8:26] But it was a different time.

[8:28] But the other side to that is at least he is creating a lovable,

[8:33] multifaceted character who is, you know, an attempt to be a full human being.

[8:38] He has a lot of malapropisms, which are, you know, ethnic humor

[8:42] that certainly does not does not help.

[8:46] But it's Locos are just like cartoon villain gang.

[8:51] Oh, and also the fact that like they are they're a multiethnic gang.

[8:55] But if the idea was that they all speak with kind of main type accents,

[8:59] you know, and like that, that the idea is just like, well,

[9:02] and also the fact that it's never clear where this movie is set.

[9:05] They never say.

[9:06] And I mean, they do accept Johnny five into their ranks.

[9:09] He becomes a member of the gang after after they trick him

[9:12] into stealing several dozen car stereos.

[9:15] But they say this movie is never very clear.

[9:18] And when I was a kid watching it, I assumed it was New York

[9:20] because the second movie in a series is almost always the New York movie.

[9:24] And they but it's clearly not examples

[9:29] in in Gremlins, too.

[9:30] They go to New York.

[9:31] Doesn't it go to New York in the first?

[9:34] Oh, I guess. Yeah, that's right.

[9:35] He does. That's one of the different ones.

[9:36] But like the Muppets take Manhattan is not the second one, but it's

[9:40] it's one of the early sequels.

[9:42] Like there was a there was a feeling in a lot of movies.

[9:44] I feel like where it's like once the character has proved themself,

[9:47] then they can go to New York.

[9:48] Yeah, like Jason, Jason proved himself to kill all those teenagers

[9:55] in the sticks, and then he's like, I got to take my ax to the big city.

[9:58] Yeah, there was a scout who was.

[10:00] at the summer camp went, you know what, kid?

[10:02] I think you got what it takes to go on Broadway.

[10:05] Wow, really?

[10:06] I could kill people on Broadway?

[10:08] Come on, kid.

[10:08] And then it didn't work out.

[10:09] He didn't really have what it took.

[10:11] But this movie, it's shot in Toronto,

[10:15] and it's very clear watching it

[10:16] that they are dancing around where it is actually set.

[10:18] And so just the idea that they were like,

[10:21] it's a city, a street gang, Latino street gang.

[10:24] It doesn't matter where we are.

[10:25] It's a big city.

[10:26] There's a Latino street gang.

[10:27] It's whatever.

[10:28] It's what we do.

[10:29] It's definitely America, though.

[10:30] It's definitely in some ways more racist.

[10:32] But it's still-

[10:33] It's not in Canada.

[10:34] It's not meant to be in Canada

[10:36] because they go through a citizenship ceremony at the end.

[10:40] Yeah, well, that's the other thing is that

[10:41] it's that you know, it could very well not be

[10:44] in the United States until the very end.

[10:45] Yeah, when he takes the oath of citizenship

[10:48] for the United States,

[10:49] which they usually don't do in Canada, as far as I know.

[10:50] They also have a black three-card moddy street hustler

[10:55] whose reaction to Johnny Five

[10:57] is also cartoonishly sort of stereotyped.

[11:00] So-

[11:01] Wow, yeah, this is a real racist movie.

[11:02] On the ethnic front, it's not good.

[11:05] It's so racist.

[11:06] It's like, I'm so sorry, truly,

[11:09] to anyone that potentially would be offended by this movie.

[11:13] You know what I'm also gonna say?

[11:14] Johnny Five is kind of a racist depiction of a robot,

[11:17] to be honest.

[11:18] How so?

[11:19] He has no thoughts in his head

[11:20] other than whatever input has been given to him.

[11:23] He's just constantly spitting out nonsense.

[11:26] They're all like, oh, what's he gonna bleed?

[11:28] Motor oil?

[11:29] And then he does later, or battery fluid,

[11:31] or whatever it is.

[11:31] Yeah, I mean, battery fluid, yeah.

[11:32] He falls into a lot of robot stereotypes

[11:34] that he can read books real fast.

[11:37] Johnny Five is definitely a character

[11:39] who shows that knowing a lot of facts

[11:42] doesn't make you smart.

[11:43] But being a Johnny Five,

[11:45] the character doesn't show up

[11:46] for like 20 minutes into the movie.

[11:48] And also, I hate to break it to you guys,

[11:49] Johnny Five was played by a puppeteer and a voice actor,

[11:52] not by a real robot.

[11:54] It wasn't until WALL-E that you had a real robot

[11:57] played by a robot, yeah.

[11:58] And so they have living or get flesh humans

[12:01] in robo-face in this movie.

[12:03] I had no idea.

[12:06] I don't want to do too much talk about,

[12:08] too many jokes about anti-robot sentiment

[12:12] to diminish the fact, like I wanna,

[12:14] let's address this fully and then move on

[12:17] and not really dwell on it.

[12:19] But yeah, Fisher Stevens is not an Indian man.

[12:22] He is doing this in brown face

[12:24] with a very broad Indian voice.

[12:30] I don't think it is,

[12:33] I don't think it is ill-intentioned,

[12:35] but it is very, very miscalculated, let's say.

[12:39] Yeah, and the strangest thing about it

[12:41] is that apparently in the first movie,

[12:43] they cast him as a white character

[12:44] and then decided to change the character

[12:46] to an Indian part, but then had him play it anyway.

[12:50] Which is a strange way to do things.

[12:52] Yeah, and I, look, if I was a better sort of,

[12:57] I don't know what I, I wouldn't call myself

[12:59] the producer now that Alex does all the editing,

[13:01] but as a better arranger of things for the show,

[13:05] I might've said to Ben, are you sure you wanna do that?

[13:09] But it was a movie that I saw a lot as a kid, I thought.

[13:13] That's why they call him the steamroller,

[13:15] is he just wouldn't take no for an answer

[13:17] when it came to short circuit too.

[13:18] You can tell how assertive and angry he is.

[13:22] No, I was just like, you know, we can probably address it

[13:26] and there's a lot of other funny things to talk about,

[13:29] but it is, you know, it's a thing that would keep me

[13:33] from recommending this movie to anyone now.

[13:38] As a kid, I don't think, like, you know,

[13:40] I grew up in the middle of the country, I just didn't,

[13:42] like when I saw Fisher Stevens in another part,

[13:45] like I was a kid, I was like, oh, he's, I didn't know,

[13:48] I thought, he's white, I didn't, what?

[13:50] Yeah, I mean, to be honest, I grew up in New Jersey

[13:53] at a school where there were a lot of Asian-American kids,

[13:55] a lot of Indian-American kids, and as a kid,

[13:58] I never put two and two together

[14:00] that Fisher Stevens was playing it,

[14:02] playing an ethnicity that he was not.

[14:05] And I was just, I was rereading the article

[14:07] that Aziz Ansari wrote for the New York Times

[14:08] where how as a kid, he was like finally an Indian hero

[14:12] in a movie and it wasn't until he was a college student

[14:14] that he was like, wait a minute,

[14:15] that guy's not from India, hold on a second.

[14:18] But so there's, so you can say it's a bad,

[14:22] it was a bad decision, but Fisher Stevens kind of

[14:25] did the best he could, although you,

[14:27] I think he didn't really understand the problem

[14:29] until he saw Dana Carvey wear a turtle face

[14:32] in Master of Disguise and he realized how much it hurts

[14:34] to see your culture appropriated

[14:36] since Fisher Stevens does look like a turtle.

[14:37] That's true, yeah, Fisher Stevens does look like a turtle,

[14:40] he would be perfect to play Scar

[14:42] in the turtle remake of The Lion King.

[14:45] Yes, Michael Cera would be playing the Simba character.

[14:50] There's a whole.

[14:51] Well, Michael Cera's the grown-up Simba, right?

[14:53] Yeah.

[14:54] He's a grown-up Simba.

[14:55] He's just doing his takes.

[14:56] You're saying it's a turtle-fied Lion King?

[15:00] Yeah, yeah, it's like the Turtle King,

[15:02] but you gotta clarify that it's based on the Lion King,

[15:05] so I say a turtle version of the Lion King.

[15:08] I mean, the poster will probably call it Turtle King,

[15:11] but maybe we'll release it as Turtle version.

[15:14] You're the turtle, he's the Turtle King.

[15:16] That's a very different story, very different story.

[15:18] Now, Stuart, the real question is,

[15:19] would the opening song still be the Circle of Life

[15:20] or would it be the Turtle of Life?

[15:22] That's a good question.

[15:23] Would the song be Cocoon in the Turtle?

[15:24] I mean, turtles do look like circles, so that's.

[15:27] They do, they are round.

[15:28] Yeah, I don't know.

[15:29] Can you feel the shell tonight?

[15:31] I don't know, what are we doing?

[15:32] Can you feel the shell tonight?

[15:35] They're all great songs, yeah.

[15:37] Any other turtle references that we can make?

[15:40] I literally don't know anything else about turtles.

[15:42] I just wanna finish casting this movie.

[15:45] Who's playing the Mufasa in that movie?

[15:47] Who's the dad, you know?

[15:49] Oh, man, it's really tough.

[15:50] And what animals are Timon and Pumbaa?

[15:52] Because are these sea turtles or are they land tortoises?

[15:55] Okay, so Timon and Pumbaa are not going to be turtles.

[15:58] I think it's essential that they are not.

[16:00] They have to be some other kind of creature, maybe.

[16:03] So Pumbaa's main trait is what, farting a lot?

[16:07] Farting and being kind of a.

[16:08] What other animal farts a lot?

[16:10] Are we going, Dan, you know a lot about farting.

[16:16] I mean, I do fart a lot.

[16:17] Let's get back to.

[16:18] Okay, so Dan, so Pumbaa is Dan.

[16:20] Okay, in this version.

[16:22] So guys, let's talk about what happens.

[16:26] Why don't I take the summary reigns on this one?

[16:28] How does that sound?

[16:30] Okay, the movie opens.

[16:31] Just quickly, if I may, quickly.

[16:33] Yes, Ben, the steamroller, Ben.

[16:34] I also wanted to just say, I looked up an article

[16:40] in the LA Times that was promoting this movie

[16:46] and it was an interview with Fisher Stevens.

[16:48] And so, because I know we're moving on,

[16:50] but I just wanted to quickly add some choice quotes.

[16:53] This is from the original release.

[16:55] Yes, back in 1988, the year America made a choice,

[17:00] Bush or Dukakis, and I never looked back.

[17:03] This is one of the quotes when he's talking about his career.

[17:08] He says, I'm like the UN.

[17:11] Okay.

[17:12] Yes, and then lists off some of the other roles.

[17:15] So not only has he done this as an Indian man,

[17:18] he's done this many times in a bunch of other movies.

[17:21] Okay, well, this makes me feel less like it was a mistake.

[17:25] It's so fucked up.

[17:26] I can't even like, because there is a tradition

[17:30] in Hollywood, right?

[17:32] Going way back, you watch old movies.

[17:34] Oh, going back to the earliest movies.

[17:35] No, Elliot exclusively watches old movies.

[17:38] And that's why, because I don't like ethnic actors.

[17:41] I only want to see white actors playing other ethnic actors.

[17:43] I'm just kidding.

[17:44] That's not why.

[17:45] Oh, we got it on wax.

[17:47] No, it's on tape.

[17:48] No, that's not why.

[17:48] It's because old movies are just better,

[17:50] aside from the problematic elements, which there are many.

[17:53] But anyway, so you're saying,

[17:54] so it's an old Hollywood tradition

[17:55] to not want to cast non-white actors.

[17:57] Yes, and it just is so surprising to me

[18:01] that it's like in the 80s, this is still happening.

[18:05] I'm like, I'm just so astounded.

[18:07] So, okay, one other, a couple other pieces here.

[18:11] At a benefit premiere of the film,

[18:13] this is included in the article,

[18:15] Princess Diana was surprised he was not native of India

[18:19] when they met.

[18:21] What a weird world where Princess Diana

[18:23] was sitting watching this movie.

[18:25] I know, that's what I'm like.

[18:26] I can't even imagine.

[18:27] I mean, there's never been a historical incidence

[18:30] of a British person being insensitive to India.

[18:35] I mean, nothing in any biography of Princess Di,

[18:41] or even the movie Spencer,

[18:43] are there moments where they show us

[18:45] her watching Short Circuit or Short Circuit 2.

[18:47] That should have been the ultimate low point

[18:49] for the character in Spencer,

[18:51] was her having to watch Short Circuit 2.

[18:53] Do you think Kristen Stewart had to watch Short Circuit

[18:57] to get into the character?

[18:58] Yeah, because she knew Princess Di did it, yeah.

[18:59] She did all, to get into that character,

[19:01] she did everything that she knew Princess Di did.

[19:03] She married Prince Charles briefly.

[19:04] She had two sons.

[19:06] She watched Short Circuit 2.

[19:07] The idea that at a certain point,

[19:09] Princess Diana was sitting in a theater,

[19:11] watching a robot do an impression of Crazy Eddie

[19:15] from the local New York area electronic store commercials

[19:18] is bonkers to me.

[19:19] That's nuts.

[19:20] Crazy Eddie, by the way,

[19:21] who then later works at Radio Shack?

[19:24] That was, I was confused.

[19:26] We'll get to that, it's confusing.

[19:27] He's a character named Manic Mike in this one.

[19:29] Not to be confused with Magic Mike, who's very different.

[19:32] I just think that that's like a local,

[19:34] that's a local mom and pop electric store type thing.

[19:42] The Radio Shack wouldn't have someone do that character.

[19:45] Probably not.

[19:46] No, no.

[19:47] Well, unless it's a franchise, you know?

[19:49] You don't have to franchise it out.

[19:51] By this point, this may have been already the,

[19:53] no, I don't wonder if Crazy Eddie was,

[19:54] it must have been still around.

[19:56] This was before Crazy Eddie's shut down

[19:57] because they were cooking the books and breaking books.

[20:00] We're getting way ahead of ourselves. Let's just, let's get actually,

[20:02] we're way behind ourselves.

[20:03] There's no reason to talk about the downfall of the crazy Eddie franchise

[20:06] chain. Yeah. What other,

[20:07] what other facts do you have about short circuit too,

[20:09] before we get into the story?

[20:10] Well, just the other thing about that premier is that it was a benefit.

[20:13] Whoa. It's a fucking benefit. So that's great.

[20:18] It was, it was a benefit for a better representation in film.

[20:23] And this film was an example of what not to do. Yeah. Okay.

[20:27] So the last thing in this feature with Fisher Stevens is, uh,

[20:31] he goes out with this quote, I'd like to play a white guy someday.

[20:36] Oh. And he never did. And he never did. Not till hackers. Just kidding.

[20:40] He's in hackers. Yeah. He's in there. Yeah. And he's in lost and a bunch of other

[20:43] stuff. He's had a big, long career. Yeah. He's done a very long career.

[20:46] And he's an Academy award-winning documentary maker. Yeah. So,

[20:50] so I guess, so if he listened to this, yeah. Yeah. Fisher Stevens,

[20:54] you got what you wanted, but was it worth it to get there?

[20:58] All right. All right. So short circuit too. Great. Those are all,

[21:02] that's all helpful context. The movie begins with what for me was,

[21:05] it's a high point, the old Tristar Pegasus logo,

[21:08] which I have not seen in years. Uh, this is the era.

[21:11] This is the era before Tristar merged with Columbia, I think.

[21:14] And before they were all bought by Sony.

[21:16] So to see that horse with its flapping wings and hear that music and that gets

[21:20] trapped in a triangle, it brought back a lot of childhood memories. Yeah.

[21:22] You know, Elliot, I would feel bad about, uh, backtracking,

[21:25] but you were just talking about the Tristar logo. So obviously

[21:30] we're not in too much of a rush. No, no. We're three seconds into the movie.

[21:33] We're not even into the actual film. I feel like before we talk about short

[21:37] circuit too,

[21:38] we should give a brief summary of the events of short circuit,

[21:42] wherein go for it. Steve Guttenberg and Fisher Stevens play,

[21:47] uh, row robo scientists who have made these in Montana. Yeah.

[21:52] Made robots for the government. Uh,

[21:55] they're dismayed to learn that they're going to be, uh, you know,

[21:58] they put lasers on them. They're going to be used as, as military things,

[22:03] which is naive on their part. That's incredibly naive on the robot makers part.

[22:08] Uh, number five gets hit by lightning, um,

[22:12] as shown on the poster for the movie. And, uh, you know,

[22:16] in true, uh, Frankenstein fashion, this makes him alive.

[22:20] It changes something in his, uh, programming. Like he becomes sentient.

[22:25] Uh, I feel like during the eighties,

[22:27] there were a lot of fucking movie posters with dudes getting hit with electricity.

[22:31] Yeah. Like that. Electricity was huge. Young Einstein, uh,

[22:36] weird science, possibly shocker. Yeah. He goes on the run.

[22:42] You are blessed to talk. Well, let's not talk about that one.

[22:45] Number five goes on the run.

[22:47] Another one there that it's, which is worth not talking about. Yeah.

[22:50] Number five goes on the run. Uh, he meets Allie Sheedy who is a local hippie,

[22:56] who teaches him to respect life. Uh,

[22:59] Steve Guttenberg and Allie Sheedy have a romance.

[23:02] So they ended up thwarting the government. Uh, that's basically it.

[23:06] The first one is kind of like the bad boy scientist,

[23:09] which is like the type of scientist that I just can't stand. It's like,

[23:13] how often are we really like in the real world though?

[23:16] Do we have a bad-ass scientist? Yeah. I mean, I'm sure on some level,

[23:21] a lot of scientists are bad-asses within their field,

[23:23] but they might not fall within the confines of a traditional bad-ass.

[23:27] I feel like any adult is committed to homework for the rest of their frigging

[23:32] lives. Yeah. Come on.

[23:34] And it's a slippery slope from that just to like an Elon Musk type who thinks

[23:38] he's super cool and, and uh, is constantly face planting in different ways.

[23:43] Like, you know, okay. Lava is cool, right?

[23:47] Cool as hell. But like someone who studies lava is kind of boring.

[23:52] I mean, I think part of the issue is that part of the issue is that most of

[23:56] science is not the fun stuff we see in movies.

[23:59] It's a lot of like keeping records and observing things very closely.

[24:03] And we're like, I wanted to be a scientist when I was,

[24:05] when I was a kid cause I had been taught by cartoons that being a scientist

[24:08] meant like building time machines and things like that or like meeting aliens.

[24:12] But it's not a lot of science is putting different chemicals into a hundred

[24:16] different vials that have bacteria in them and then recording what happens for

[24:20] the next couple of weeks and then trying it again with a hundred new chemicals.

[24:23] You know, I forgot that Ben was the bad boy bully of podcasting,

[24:26] but that's what they call him. Bad boy. Bully. Ben. Another nickname. Yeah.

[24:31] It's one of my many nicknames.

[24:33] Before I move on to short circuit two at long last,

[24:36] I wanted to say one more thing,

[24:38] which is both of the short circuit movies are written by the same screenwriting

[24:42] team who also wrote tremors. But the first one was, uh,

[24:46] I was surprised the movie tremors learn was directed by John Badham who did

[24:51] war games and Saturday night fever.

[24:53] And this one is by a director who mostly did like bionic woman episodes and the

[24:59] TV show V and other stuff.

[25:01] He created the show V created his name's Kenneth Johnson.

[25:04] He created the show alienation.

[25:05] So like he's not just a, like a, he's a TV creator I would say. No, no,

[25:10] I know. I just, not just a journeyman director, but I don't,

[25:14] he, he had, I'm still impressed by the career.

[25:17] I'm just saying that like in terms of in Hollywood terms,

[25:22] it's like, okay, we've got this like kind of big name director.

[25:25] And then they're like, okay, now give this equal to the TV guy.

[25:29] Yeah. He's no, he's not John Badham.

[25:31] And John Badham is not even a top tier star director. You know,

[25:35] like I don't think people are, it's not like people are like, Oh,

[25:37] I got to go see the new John.

[25:38] What are you guys going to do a blank check series on John Badham?

[25:41] I don't think anytime soon. No, I don't think that that,

[25:44] I don't think he ever got that blank check is the thing.

[25:47] I don't know. John Badham ever, ever got that blank check authorization. Um,

[25:51] but okay. War games is great.

[25:53] Now that it is great. I love that movie.

[25:55] If you're going to see a movie about an Ascension AI that is doing the wrong

[25:59] thing, then war games is the movie to see and not, not the short circuit. Okay.

[26:03] Now that we're caught up on short circuit and we know that it's about a robot

[26:06] that comes to life, let's talk about short circuit too.

[26:08] So we start off with a Fisher Stevens is a reprising his character of Ben from

[26:13] the first movie. As I mentioned,

[26:15] he does have a different last name than in the previous movie,

[26:17] which is I think is a sign of the slipshod nature of much of this sequel. Uh,

[26:22] he's out on the street of a, of an unidentified city. As we mentioned,

[26:25] the movie allows you to believe it's New York. If you say New York,

[26:29] the movie is not going to correct you at any point. Uh, you know,

[26:32] the same way that there are many times where I have not seen a movie or read a

[26:37] book that someone's talking about.

[26:38] And I just kind of don't say that out loud and let them believe that I know the

[26:42] thing that they're talking about. That's what this movie is doing with New York.

[26:44] Yeah. Uh, and Ben is out on the street.

[26:46] He's selling tiny little toy number fives, uh,

[26:50] that like to dance and things like that.

[26:51] And next to him is a guy named Fred played by Mike McKeon, uh, who is,

[26:56] who is selling Rolex watches, which is like, yes, it's,

[27:00] that's 1980s shorthand for con man is out on the street selling Rolex watches.

[27:05] And when, when they're three buttons down, they're like a sleaze ball. Yeah.

[27:09] Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. How many buttons do you undo? Yeah.

[27:12] He's always talking about his silk shirt and he talks like this.

[27:16] He talks like this. Yeah. And there's a, there's a,

[27:19] the other day we were driving and we passed her Rolls Royce on the road and the

[27:23] guy driving it was the sleaziest looking guy I'd ever seen in my life.

[27:27] Like he looked like he was a drug kingpins henchman in a movie from 1987 and I

[27:32] was like, it's kind of,

[27:33] it was either going to be a distinguished old British man or this guy who's

[27:36] driving. Yeah.

[27:37] You either thought he was going to stop and ask for some great coupon or some

[27:40] shit. Exactly. That's an appropriate joke for this episode.

[27:44] Or reveal that the whole trunk is just full of cocaine. That's the thing. Okay.

[27:48] So, uh, Mike McKeon is like, uh, Hey, you know what? Uh,

[27:52] why don't I sell you some of these watches?

[27:53] But then one of the mini Johnny fives,

[27:56] has he started calling himself Johnny five or no? Yeah, I think so. Okay.

[27:59] I couldn't remember if he did in the first movie. I mean,

[28:02] who's Johnny? The song was related to the first movie.

[28:06] I think though in the first movie they just always called him a number five

[28:10] because when he shows up in this movie, he's like,

[28:12] I'm calling myself Johnny now it's Johnny five. Yeah. Yeah.

[28:16] And Ben is surprised by that. So I was like, Oh,

[28:19] I didn't realize that he didn't know that. Anyway, uh,

[28:20] that little robot,

[28:22] he rolls all the way through a huge shopping mall and rolls by the office of

[28:25] one Sandy Bannatone, uh, played by, uh,

[28:29] Cynthia Gibb who for the past few years has been doing almost exclusively

[28:33] Christmas themed, uh, projects. And, uh,

[28:36] she is the toy buyer for this huge department store.

[28:39] Nothing she is interested in. Does her boss want to buy for the store? And it is,

[28:44] it is to be fair, all kinds of shoddy gimmicky junk that looks like you would

[28:48] find in the bargain bin of a Spencer's gifts. Uh, I love that.

[28:52] I love that her last name sounds like Panatone.

[28:54] And I also love that she is way ahead of the curve on giant eyebrow, uh,

[28:59] fashion. Cause her eyebrows are huge. They look awesome.

[29:02] I hadn't really noticed the size of her eyebrows. Okay. Well,

[29:05] I guess it's time for a rewatch of short circuit too.

[29:08] You know what? Yeah. Let me, let me stop the recording.

[29:10] Let me watch short circuit too again. Uh, but her boss is like,

[29:12] I want high tech stuff, high tech things.

[29:15] And then Johnny five rolls in this tiny little robot Johnny five.

[29:19] And she finds Ben who turns out is living and working out of a truck. And she

[29:22] says, Hey, I want a thousand of these little robots toys.

[29:26] Can you make them for me? And Michael McKeon is suddenly like, uh, money. Yes.

[29:29] I'm your, I'm his business partner. Uh, yeah, we can build those for you.

[29:32] A $50 a piece. Sure. Sure. Anyway,

[29:34] we'll build you a thousand of those robots in 30 days.

[29:37] And Ben's in love with her too. So that helps.

[29:39] Ben is instantly in love with her. So he's, he's all tongue tied,

[29:42] which allows Fred to, to swoop in and, uh,

[29:46] just take over that negotiations. Meanwhile,

[29:49] there's a motorcade rolling into the city and, uh,

[29:53] again, we still don't have Johnny five in this movie yet.

[29:57] We're not going to have it for a while.

[30:00] We're setting up the dominoes that Johnny 5 will knock down.

[30:07] A motorcade rolls into the city delivering a priceless diamond collection to a bank.

[30:11] And I guess the diamonds are going on display somewhere in a week, but they're going to

[30:14] wait in this bank vault for a little bit until then.

[30:16] What do we care about diamonds?

[30:17] I thought this was a short circuit movie.

[30:19] Uh oh!

[30:20] Wait and see.

[30:21] Like all kids movies from the 80s, this has to do with the things kids love most.

[30:26] 1.

[30:27] Corporate intrigue and how hard it is to start a business and keep it running.

[30:30] 2.

[30:31] Someone who's worked at a job for a long time that they don't feel respected at so they

[30:34] decide to rob their employer.

[30:36] The two things kids love that are in most children's 80s movies.

[30:39] Live action.

[30:40] Division.

[30:41] So, uh.

[30:42] And this bank.

[30:43] We watched the guards travel through the bank, which is a shopping mall, right?

[30:48] It's like, it's like a massive shopping mall with escalators.

[30:52] Yeah.

[30:53] Pretty much.

[30:54] It's towards the biggest bank in the world.

[30:56] There's multiple levels and escalators.

[30:58] So Michael McKeon, this being a kids movie, he goes to a pool hall where there's a stripper

[31:03] dancing to get a loan from a pool shark to start up their Johnny Five toy making business.

[31:08] They rent a rundown building.

[31:09] Shades of Ghostbusters in that.

[31:11] But that building.

[31:12] Uh oh.

[31:13] They don't realize in the basement, it's secretly the headquarters for two guys who are trying

[31:17] to tunnel across the street into the bank to steal those diamonds.

[31:22] Somehow they're using a computer to do this.

[31:24] I don't really know why.

[31:25] But the two guys.

[31:26] The graphics are incredible.

[31:27] When they're like, how long is it going to take?

[31:28] We get like a little 3D representation of us flying through a fucking tunnel like it's

[31:32] like the opening of a movie where there's popcorn and shit flying in your face.

[31:36] And then it just ends with the word vault flashing.

[31:39] That's amazing.

[31:40] Yeah.

[31:41] He really, he really cheaped out on the animation for the vault.

[31:45] Yeah.

[31:46] Um, one of the, one of the crooks is a, is a technology expert and the other is just

[31:49] a cook.

[31:50] Crook.

[31:51] He's just a guy who's a tough guy.

[31:52] And so, uh, Ben is now overseeing a staff of homeless people that Fred has hired to

[31:56] build little Johnny fives, uh, until the two crooks come in.

[32:00] They can't have these guys in the building if they're going to use it as their headquarters.

[32:03] They come in in masks and they just wreck the place with crowbars and scare everybody

[32:07] away.

[32:08] Oh no.

[32:09] How's Ben going to make a thousand of these little robot toys?

[32:11] It's impossible.

[32:12] Wait, but then a deus ex machina arrives.

[32:15] That's right.

[32:16] A literal machina.

[32:17] Because what appears in a giant packing crate, Dan, who is it?

[32:21] Oh, it's Johnny five.

[32:22] And he, and this packing crate, this giant packing crate, like jumps its way into the,

[32:29] into the warehouse.

[32:30] I'm not quite sure what the mechanism of that is, but, uh, using the same physics that hippity

[32:35] hopper that the kangaroo from the Looney Tunes cartoons would use if he was in a box and

[32:40] the box is jumping around.

[32:41] Yeah.

[32:42] This is about the point in the book, you know, him coming to New York is about the point

[32:46] in the movie that I tried to Google one of my favorite things from the early web.

[32:50] I wasn't able to find it and may finally be gone for a scrub from the internet.

[32:55] But one of the, my favorite weird things I found in the early days was someone had done

[33:00] this illustrated calendar of Johnny five.

[33:03] Um, oh right.

[33:04] I remember seeing that also.

[33:06] Yeah.

[33:07] Yeah.

[33:08] Each month was like a postcard that he, or like a letter that he'd sent to Stephanie

[33:14] back home being like, I'm in France now, you know, like, Oh, people are weird here.

[33:18] And like, it would be him like in a beret in front of the fucking love that shower.

[33:23] So he's like, so they just did that shit and they weren't being paid.

[33:27] They just made these cool, just a fan thing for like fucking really fucking loved short

[33:32] circuit.

[33:33] And I wish I could, I hope there, it was, I think beautiful in like sort of the innocence

[33:39] of it.

[33:40] It was, it was really groundbreaking and you can, and it's, it's, it's a direct trail from

[33:44] that to the, uh, recent fan comic where the two main characters of Zootopia are in a relationship

[33:50] and they break up because one of them had an abortion without telling the other one.

[33:54] And it takes place in Jerry Seinfeld's apartment for some reason.

[33:57] I feel like that's, that's the, that's the state of kind of fan fiction, uh, of the,

[34:02] of children's characters.

[34:03] Yeah.

[34:04] You can draw a direct line.

[34:05] Yeah.

[34:06] Yeah.

[34:07] It's like the descent of man.

[34:08] But with those things.

[34:09] So anyway, uh, Johnny five is here.

[34:11] Finally, this movie can begin the star of the show.

[34:14] He rolls around making wisecracks.

[34:15] As always, he is hungry for input.

[34:17] He wants constant input.

[34:19] He reads a book really fast.

[34:20] Dan, did you have an issue with this?

[34:21] He reads the Hound of the Baskervilles and guesses that the chauffeur did it.

[34:25] And then the, and then flips through it and goes, he did.

[34:27] Is there a chauffeur in Hound of the Baskervilles?

[34:30] This is the part where I admit that despite being a lover of all things Sherlock Holmes,

[34:38] I cannot make it through the full length novels.

[34:43] I don't, I don't, have you tried reading it?

[34:46] Like Johnny five reads it, uh, we just flip through the pages and don't really look at

[34:50] the words.

[34:51] Yeah.

[34:52] I mean, I read, I, I did read a study in Scarlet, which is probably from what I hear the worst

[35:00] one.

[35:01] Uh, but you know, I had to read the, the first Holmes novel and it was, or, or story of any

[35:08] kind.

[35:09] And that's a bad one because half, like partway through it, just all the actions just switches

[35:14] to, uh, I don't know, is it Utah?

[35:17] Like there's this whole like interlude where they talk about a bunch of Mormons in America

[35:22] and it's just backstory for the solution of the mystery that will eventually be revealed.

[35:27] And I'm like, where's Sherlock Holmes?

[35:29] That's what I want.

[35:30] But I, I don't know.

[35:31] I'd never read.

[35:32] So that was also, that was a long way of saying you don't know.

[35:34] I'm surprised.

[35:35] You felt you had to defend your Holmes bona fides by telling us you did try to read another

[35:45] long Holmes.

[35:46] One.

[35:47] Oh, I die.

[35:48] Oh, Elliot.

[35:49] I have a sickness, uh, as a speaker where like, I feel like I have to travel down every

[35:55] road and explain all of it.

[35:57] And uh, you know, my wife is a saint is putting up with it.

[36:03] We're still talking about short circuit too, right?

[36:05] I'm not sure.

[36:06] Ben, are we still talking about short circuit too?

[36:08] Should we get back to it?

[36:09] How do you feel?

[36:10] I don't think we have to jump back into it.

[36:12] I'm willing to hear Dan sort of further explore just communication in general.

[36:18] Yeah.

[36:19] Yeah.

[36:20] It's going to come as such a shock to our listeners is the thing.

[36:22] Okay.

[36:23] So Ben is like Johnny five can't learn that he's in a city.

[36:25] He loves input so much that he'll just roll.

[36:28] He'll just go outside and get lost and cause trouble.

[36:30] So he, he kind of tells them that the entirety of the world is the building that they're

[36:34] in right there.

[36:35] And that there's nothing but a boring void outside, which is philosophically an interesting

[36:39] proposition to put forward to a robot, um, in the movie room, I guess in a, yeah, in

[36:48] a, in a much more harrowing way, uh, Johnny assembles a toy really quickly and then he

[36:52] makes an, isn't that special church lady reference.

[36:55] So he already has.

[36:56] I like that.

[36:57] I like that.

[36:58] I was excited about that.

[36:59] By the end of the movie, by the end of the movie, it is like a snowball rolling downhill.

[37:05] References until by the end, all of his dialogue is just like, it's just like, go ahead, make

[37:10] my day and stuff like that.

[37:12] We're racing faster and faster and the stars blur together, but so, uh, Johnny works at

[37:18] night watching a Tarzan movie on TV, which will come in later when he does a Tarzan move

[37:23] and also sees a, uh, a commercial for a crazy Eddie style, uh, place called manic mics.

[37:29] You may recognize the guy playing manic mic.

[37:31] It's Don Lake, regular Christopher guest, uh, actor.

[37:35] And also just like Fisher Stevens was in the super Mario brothers movie.

[37:38] So this is, uh, his second flop house episode appearance.

[37:41] So exciting for him.

[37:42] He'll receive it.

[37:43] He'll be receiving his certificate in the mail with a big number two on it.

[37:46] Uh, and when, when we, it'll just be the number two though, it'll be very confusing for him.

[37:53] When Johnny five shows up to the warehouse, he starts building one of the little toy robots

[37:58] I don't know about you guys, but he built it just as fast as a human would build it.

[38:03] He wasn't going that much faster.

[38:05] I don't know how that was going to solve all their problems.

[38:07] I think more than he can work 24 hours a day.

[38:09] He doesn't have to pay him.

[38:10] Yeah.

[38:11] They can pay him with input.

[38:12] Yeah.

[38:13] They pay him an input.

[38:14] I was, I thought you were going to say, will Johnny five have like sort of a, like some

[38:21] sort of psychological existential crisis when he's like making a small robots building robots

[38:27] himself.

[38:28] It's like when people fuck each other and make little babies, like a little smaller

[38:31] versions of themselves, only the same existential crisis that we all have when we make smaller

[38:36] versions of ourselves, where he's like, he's like, how do I only put the good parts of

[38:40] myself in this toy and not the bad parts of myself.

[38:42] And now that I have this, I can foresee a future where I'm not around anymore.

[38:47] And I have to give this toy the input it needs to go on its own and make its own little smaller

[38:51] toys.

[38:52] Polly pocket sized Sunday.

[38:53] Oh wow.

[38:54] Imagine them in little diapers.

[38:57] I can.

[38:58] Yeah.

[38:59] It'd be so sweet.

[39:00] It'd be very cute.

[39:01] Very cute.

[39:02] Uh, it's basically, we're basically talking about batteries not included at this point.

[39:06] Right?

[39:07] Yeah.

[39:08] That's the movie where the alien robot gets mistaken for a hamburger.

[39:12] Yeah.

[39:13] They flip.

[39:14] Yeah.

[39:15] She's on it.

[39:16] Yeah.

[39:17] I missed that one.

[39:18] Oh, you missed that one.

[39:19] It's like from the same time, right?

[39:20] Yeah.

[39:21] It's the one where I, it's that Tron Amici is the star.

[39:25] I think they might, there might be a connection.

[39:27] Let me check this.

[39:28] Actually.

[39:29] That is not clues from 1987.

[39:30] So it's a year before short circuit too.

[39:33] Yeah.

[39:34] And that's the one where like a, uh, like a, a building, uh, is going to get torn down.

[39:39] But luckily these little robots save the day from outer space.

[39:43] They're outer space robots, right?

[39:45] But it's also, they're outer space robots.

[39:47] Yeah.

[39:48] Where it's like little robots in the big city.

[39:49] Yeah.

[39:50] Yeah.

[39:51] Much like the show Caroline in the city, which is also about a robot in a city.

[39:54] Yeah.

[39:55] That is, yeah.

[39:56] Uh, it's Caroline stands for, what was it?

[39:58] It was, uh, it was.

[40:00] pacification, awesome robot, or living intelligence, not electronic, but it's not a great acronym.

[40:13] You know, I remembered correctly, one of the writers of this movie wrote Batteries Not

[40:18] Included.

[40:19] Oh.

[40:20] There is a connection.

[40:22] Oh, and Mick Garris had the story.

[40:26] Brad Bird had a screenplay credit on Batteries Not Included.

[40:29] Wow.

[40:30] Yeah, he's been around for a while.

[40:31] Heavy hitters, yeah.

[40:32] Woo!

[40:33] Anyway.

[40:34] Anyway, that's why Batteries Not Included is a better movie.

[40:35] Batteries Not Included should have been better if Brad Bird worked harder.

[40:37] Well, it's not a, I mean, he was young at the time.

[40:40] Anyway, so Johnny Five gets seen, oh, actually, there's a question I want to ask.

[40:44] So did any of you guys grow up in the New York or New Jersey area?

[40:48] No.

[40:49] I grew up in Jersey.

[40:50] Okay, so you grew up seeing Crazy Eddie commercials on TV, probably.

[40:53] Oh, for sure.

[40:54] Like I did.

[40:55] Yep.

[40:56] So, Dan and Stu, were you familiar, if you had seen this as a kid, would you know this

[40:58] as a reference to a real thing?

[41:00] Was Crazy Eddie a national enough chain that you would have seen in these commercials?

[41:05] I was familiar with the trope of Crazy Eddie.

[41:09] Like Crazy Hitchman?

[41:10] Style.

[41:11] Yeah, but I don't know that I...

[41:12] Yeah, the Saturday Night Live did a bit, right?

[41:14] Yeah.

[41:15] Did you guys ever see the Question Mark Guy?

[41:18] Oh, yeah.

[41:19] He's another Hitchman.

[41:20] Yeah.

[41:21] Yeah.

[41:22] With a similar bit.

[41:23] Matthew Lesko?

[41:24] Well, his was all about, you know, the government's giving out free money.

[41:26] Buy my book.

[41:27] So, a friend of mine, he tells me a story I love where he was at a hotel and saw Matthew

[41:31] Lesko, the Question Mark Guy, checking in and he was like, he introduced himself and

[41:35] said like, hey, big fan.

[41:37] And the guy went, the government is suing me.

[41:40] Because apparently a lot of those programs are not really meant for anybody to just apply

[41:47] and get free money from the government.

[41:49] Yeah.

[41:50] Well, it's like subsidies, right?

[41:53] Basically.

[41:54] I think you do need to be a turnip farmer to get that turnip farming subsidy.

[41:57] You can't just sell your house as a turnip farm.

[42:00] So, anyway, the bad guys, they see Johnny through the window and they decide they need

[42:04] to smash him.

[42:05] So, the next morning, Johnny Five, he shows off all these new features and stickers he's

[42:09] got.

[42:10] He does the first of infinite Manic Mike Crazy Eddie impressions that he does throughout

[42:15] the movie.

[42:16] Maybe he only does it a couple times, but it seems like a lot.

[42:18] And then goes off to sign the contracts with the department store.

[42:24] Oh, and we've already seen that Ben has fallen asleep the night before while studying for

[42:28] the citizenship test.

[42:29] He's studying to become an American citizen.

[42:31] It really makes you wonder how he worked on that top secret military robot program in

[42:34] the first movie without being a naturalized citizen.

[42:37] But hey, you know, things were looser in the 80s.

[42:39] I don't know.

[42:41] And while talking to Fred, Fred lets slip that they're in a city.

[42:44] Uh-oh, they're in a city?

[42:46] Input.

[42:47] Johnny Five goes out and goes sightseeing.

[42:48] He's making jokey observations about everything.

[42:50] And we're to believe that this like derelict warehouse is in the middle of town.

[42:55] Yeah, it's like right there, like right across the street is like a big business plaza.

[43:01] It's yeah.

[43:02] Yeah.

[43:03] I mean, to be honest, there are there are times when that happens, but it's yeah, it's

[43:06] usually not.

[43:07] I guess by jowl.

[43:08] I guess like a like now.

[43:09] Well, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[43:12] The funny thing about it, too, was like like as soon as he finds out that there's an exciting

[43:20] city outside, he wipes the grime off the window and looks out.

[43:24] And then it's like a series of shots of the most uninspiring things, like just like like

[43:29] a van, like driving by or whatever.

[43:31] And, you know, I'm so naive even at my advanced age that it didn't even occur to me.

[43:38] I'm like, oh, of course, this wasn't shot in New York.

[43:39] But I'm like, why are they showing this?

[43:41] Like why is it you like looking outside and being like, oh, the Chrysler building or whatever,

[43:45] like something?

[43:46] Yeah.

[43:47] That genuinely would be like, oh, I got to get out and see the sights.

[43:49] Yeah.

[43:50] Well, even if even if they weren't really shooting there, they could just get a get

[43:53] a stock shot of exactly.

[43:55] But more like, oh, look, a mailbox is outside.

[43:58] I have to imagine the director was like, this movie needs to establish a certain level of

[44:02] realism or the audience will never fall in love with Johnny five.

[44:06] We can't just have people believe all these things are happening outside the window.

[44:10] We only can show the things that are really happening outside the window.

[44:14] Not very much.

[44:15] He he goes, he of course, he plays like mentioned we mentioned earlier, plays three card Monty

[44:19] and almost gets in a fight.

[44:21] He meets the it meets the Los Locos street gang who have the immortal rhyme, which I

[44:25] still remembered to this day, even before I watched the movie, guys, you want to do

[44:29] it for me?

[44:30] What's the Los Locos?

[44:31] Rhymed up.

[44:32] You seem primed for this one.

[44:35] OK, so this you got if you want me to say it, Los Locos, kick your ass, Los Locos, kick

[44:39] your face, Los Locos, kick your balls into outer space.

[44:42] And this was something me and my friends when we were seven coolest, funniest thing

[44:46] I've ever heard.

[44:47] We thought it was the funniest thing.

[44:49] It was the toughest thing.

[44:50] We thought it was so amazing.

[44:51] As a kid, we all thought they were called Los Lobos, which sounds cooler than Los Locos.

[44:55] But they yeah, that's we all it's it was amazing how there are so many I can never fully remember

[45:01] people's birthdays.

[45:02] And yet before the movie started, it started playing.

[45:05] I was saying the Los Locos rhyme to myself.

[45:07] This is ridiculous.

[45:08] It's also such a funny like conception of a street gang.

[45:12] It's like, OK, these guys are really tough.

[45:15] So they're going to have a rhyme like a song, basically.

[45:21] Well, you want people to remember you.

[45:23] And the best way to do that is with a cool rhyming jingle.

[45:26] Yeah.

[45:27] And so they convinced him to steal a bunch of car stereos.

[45:30] And then they say, what do they say?

[45:33] They say they are, oh, they're like part of the stereo department or something.

[45:40] They have some kind of like funny.

[45:42] They talk about how they work for the city, cleaning people's stereos and then bring them

[45:46] back and they go, we never see a department of car repair.

[45:51] And Johnny Five, he doesn't know.

[45:53] He's never experienced.

[45:54] No one's ever lied to him before.

[45:55] He's never even seen the movie.

[45:56] The Invention of Lying.

[45:57] It wasn't made yet.

[45:58] So he can't see the show Lie to Me.

[46:00] It didn't exist at the time.

[46:02] So, you know, yeah.

[46:04] And so he joins the gang.

[46:07] And the thing I thought, the thing I did is spray painted a variety of exciting colors.

[46:13] They give him a wild style.

[46:14] Yeah.

[46:15] Yeah.

[46:16] Makeover.

[46:17] Yeah.

[46:18] And he's got a vest.

[46:19] Yeah.

[46:20] A little bit of street wear.

[46:21] Yeah.

[46:22] And he gets found and returned back to his headquarters by Oscar Baldwin, a nice man

[46:25] who works at the bank across the street, paid by Jack Weston, who is an actor that was in

[46:29] a thousand million things.

[46:31] And he he comes.

[46:34] Johnny comes back.

[46:35] He offends Ben with the Los Locos rhyme.

[46:36] Ben is very angry at him.

[46:38] And Johnny is sad to learn that he was tricked.

[46:40] And he's like, why is everyone in the city so angry all the time?

[46:43] Why do they get so angry at me all the time?

[46:45] And there's part of me that was like, Johnny Five, that's a good question.

[46:47] Why are cities hives of aggression?

[46:50] Why do we why do they bring out the worst in people sometimes?

[46:52] But also, you're very annoying.

[46:53] You're very annoying robot.

[46:55] You're bumbling around saying annoying things like that's why they get mad at you.

[46:59] It's you.

[47:00] A lot of the time, Johnny Five.

[47:02] It is like like the whole theme of this movie and so much as there is one is like Johnny

[47:06] Five is alienated because no one will believe that he's alive.

[47:11] Yes. And they think he's a toy or a stunt or a puppet or.

[47:14] Yeah. Yeah. And and at the you know, at the end, his big triumph is getting citizenship.

[47:20] And it's interesting that like for all that, for all of this movie makes so many like racial

[47:28] mistakes, it also is like trying to make a stab at like this idea of like inclusivity,

[47:34] because like, yeah, Ben also like bonds with Johnny Five over this idea of feeling like

[47:40] he's the other and lonely in the city, which, you know, in a much smarter movie would be

[47:46] interesting. But like it well, and it's also one of the things we're done well.

[47:50] That's a statement on how we dehumanize people who are different, but done poorly.

[47:55] It is saying that this Indian man has more in common with a robot than with a which is

[47:59] terrible, which is a terrible message.

[48:01] Yeah. Like like any movie, like any movie where an indigenous person is like an amazing

[48:08] tracker and is closer to the animal spirits than other people like that's not I mean,

[48:12] that's not his named Hawk.

[48:14] And a fair point, fair point.

[48:17] So that night the crooks break in.

[48:19] They try to attack Johnny and he throws them out while quipping a lot of the next morning.

[48:23] Fred learns that Johnny is an 11 million dollar robot and wants to sell him.

[48:26] And Ben is like, no, he's my friend.

[48:28] And he takes Ben to lunch to distract him and convinces him to go ask Sandy out so that

[48:33] he can go take Johnny Five and try to sell him.

[48:37] And but Johnny Five gets he gets distracted by a big bookstore.

[48:41] He loves all the input and he takes two books as Fred kind of hustles him out of there.

[48:46] The crooks try to break into the factory again.

[48:48] They want to burn it down. But Johnny Five has set up a bunch of traps that and that

[48:52] also involve a recording of him quipping.

[48:55] So even when he's not there, he can still quip loudly.

[48:58] This movie runs on quips.

[49:00] So Fred, Fred takes Johnny Five, this company to sell him.

[49:03] And I was confused here. Maybe you guys can tell me about this.

[49:05] The people walking into the room seem to know about the Nova Corporation robots that

[49:09] Johnny was part of. They're talking to each other and they're like, I thought they

[49:12] destroyed all those Nova Corporation robots.

[49:14] But then when they get in the room with Johnny Five, they're like, OK, so how does he

[49:17] work? Is it like a remote control?

[49:18] Like, where are you controlling him from?

[49:20] And so it's like a second ago they knew what this was and now they don't.

[49:23] Like, are they trying to calm Fred?

[49:25] Ben, explain it to me, please.

[49:27] In the first movie, the difference between Johnny and the other robots is they don't

[49:33] have consciousness.

[49:34] Uh-huh. So they're they they understand them to be traditional robots and that they

[49:41] don't speak and they are just programmed, whereas Johnny is a free thinker.

[49:48] Yeah, do they? So wait, do these other robots like watch TV and then mimic what they

[49:53] watched? And I mean, they they're built so that they could do that if they wanted to.

[49:59] But they they.

[50:00] probably don't because they weren't hit by lightning and given the power of

[50:03] consciousness.

[50:04] Correct.

[50:05] Yeah, that's why the same thing happened to Benjamin Franklin with the kite and the

[50:07] key experiment was he was hit by lightning and suddenly he could think for himself and

[50:10] was repeating stuff from TV all the time.

[50:12] Yeah.

[50:13] It made the other founding fathers very irritated that he would, they'd be like, Ben, it's

[50:18] your turn to sign the Declaration of Independence.

[50:21] And he was like, I'm going to do it because I'm crazy, I'm lazy and I'm out of this

[50:24] spacey.

[50:25] And they're like, please stop.

[50:26] We saw that commercial, Ben, but please stop.

[50:30] So that happens when you get hit by lightning, I guess.

[50:32] And Johnny Five is like, you're trying to sell me, but I'm alive.

[50:35] I won't be a slave.

[50:36] And he falls out of a window.

[50:37] Luckily, he does have a hang glider that comes out of his back and he lands at a sculpture

[50:42] garden where a spectator calls him repulsive.

[50:44] And that makes him sad.

[50:48] I was worried about Johnny Five when he fell out that window, I got to admit.

[50:52] Oh, then you're really going to be worried when he gets beaten all to shit with a crowbar

[50:55] later on in the movie.

[50:57] He really played on my emotions with the way that it treated Johnny Five because he goes

[51:02] through some shit.

[51:03] And he's like, I was not as irritated as Elliot.

[51:05] I'm like, this is just a naive, innocent robot in the city who's almost getting destroyed

[51:11] at every turn.

[51:12] But like, I was worried when he was falling out the window because it seems to happen

[51:17] for a very long time.

[51:18] And he's like, he has a lot of time to think about it.

[51:21] He's like, oh, this isn't good.

[51:23] You know, gravity, velocity, falling at X miles per second, you know, yeah, it's a very

[51:28] tall building, Dan.

[51:29] It's a very small while to put his hang glider out.

[51:34] You know what?

[51:36] He's like a robot in the city and he falls in with some crooks and he gets beaten up

[51:38] a lot.

[51:39] They just ripped off Chappie with this movie.

[51:42] Short Circuit Two is just a rip off of Chappie, guys.

[51:44] Yeah.

[51:45] This is crazy.

[51:46] I can't believe they're so blatantly rip off Chappie.

[51:49] The same thing when we reviewed Chappie all those years ago that we said that Chappie

[51:54] is a rip off of Chappie.

[51:56] Yeah.

[51:57] So Sandy is getting chewed out by her boss for trying to sell junk at the store when

[52:02] Ben walks in and she's stressed.

[52:04] He tries to make awkward chit chat.

[52:05] He does.

[52:06] She doesn't even recognize that he's trying to ask her out.

[52:08] And so then he just couldn't pull it off this time.

[52:12] Johnny five.

[52:13] He has the bright idea to steal some clothes.

[52:15] So he'll fit in.

[52:16] He steals the most enormous shirt in the world and a hat.

[52:20] Right.

[52:21] It's very broad shoulders.

[52:22] You know, he's a robot, but he's a robot.

[52:28] That shirt.

[52:29] Who would wear that shirt?

[52:30] Who is wearing this shirt?

[52:31] That's the size of a robot.

[52:32] It's it's it's astounding.

[52:33] It's a big and tall robot store.

[52:36] Should we describe what Johnny looks like?

[52:39] Yeah.

[52:40] Yeah.

[52:41] Maybe some of the people out there that are not going to even bother to watch this scene.

[52:44] Wally.

[52:45] Yeah.

[52:46] OK.

[52:47] Yeah.

[52:48] He's like a big Wally.

[52:49] It's like a big Wally.

[52:50] Well, and he's got gentle legs.

[52:52] He's got like tank tread feet.

[52:54] Sure.

[52:55] Sure.

[52:56] Yeah.

[52:57] I want somebody.

[52:58] I want somebody to draw this robot based exclusively on this.

[53:01] His body is like a reclining chair.

[53:03] Yeah.

[53:04] Look to it.

[53:05] Yeah.

[53:06] Yeah.

[53:07] Yeah.

[53:08] Like a heart like the in the internal structure of a reclining chair.

[53:10] Yes.

[53:11] And then he's got he's got two long arms with like with robo fingers at the ends.

[53:16] And then his head is like kind of like Wally's.

[53:17] It's like a flat.

[53:19] It almost looks like a like a boombox, but he's got two waggly eyebrow top.

[53:24] I would say.

[53:25] And I don't know why they put that on the robot, to be honest.

[53:27] I don't know why the robot has.

[53:29] Oh, but it looks like a kind of like a it looks like a viewmaster sort of with, you

[53:35] know, the head.

[53:36] And then the eye.

[53:37] It has these flat pieces of metal that are eyebrows, which are also the brilliant thing

[53:41] about Wally's design, which I think, honestly, took a lot from this, you know, shows a lot

[53:48] of emotion.

[53:49] And this was designed by a guy who worked on Tron and Blade Runner.

[53:52] I think it's a really cool design.

[53:55] Sid Mead who designed him, right?

[53:57] Yeah.

[53:58] And I think so.

[53:59] It's performed by a Muppet performer who does the voice as well.

[54:04] And I think that probably did the the movements because I read that they had it set up.

[54:10] So, you know, it's it was like motion capture.

[54:12] They had like, yeah, like a guy in like a suit.

[54:15] He kind of moves around like a skexy moved and then, yeah, I will say the thing.

[54:20] And that puppeteer, Tim Blaney, he worked on Mystery Science Theater when I worked on

[54:24] it.

[54:25] He was one of the one of the bot puppeteers.

[54:26] And I just I was too nervous to talk to him about about Johnny Five.

[54:29] And someone just point out and go, you know, he's Johnny Five, right.

[54:32] And I was like, what?

[54:33] Because I hadn't seen the Short Circuit movies in years and still liked Johnny Five.

[54:37] And now having watched Short Circuit two again, I don't like him anymore.

[54:39] But yeah, yeah, it was still I was still super impressed that the guy who did the puppeteering

[54:45] was working for it, you know, was working on that on the show.

[54:47] But it was only watching this movie that I realized that Johnny Five has a nose to that.

[54:51] There's like a bump in between his eyes that looks like a nose.

[54:54] And there are times when he kind of looks like if Urkel was a robot even more than the

[54:59] Urkel bot looks like if Urkel was a robot.

[55:01] Oh, interesting.

[55:02] Yeah.

[55:03] And his body position is a little bit like, prove me wrong.

[55:07] Have you ever sat in one of those ergonomic chairs where your like feet are kind of under

[55:12] you a little bit?

[55:13] Like it's almost like you're sitting on your knees kind of, you know, I'm talking about

[55:16] that's kind of what it's kind of like.

[55:18] That's kind of what Johnny Five's body posture is like.

[55:20] Yeah, he's he's always like slightly hinged at the hips.

[55:24] His eyes are apertures and like a camera.

[55:28] I do feel like it's effective to like that's another aspect of like how he's expressive.

[55:34] Yeah.

[55:35] Yes.

[55:36] I mean, of all the issues with this movie, the design of Johnny Five and the puppeteering

[55:39] of Johnny Five are not one of them.

[55:41] Like, yeah, that was a huge hit.

[55:43] Amazing.

[55:44] Yeah.

[55:45] It's it's in this one and last one.

[55:46] It's amazing puppeteering job.

[55:47] Like for all that, you know, you're watching a movie.

[55:49] You never feel like you're not watching a robot rolling around talking and interacting

[55:52] with things like he always does have a living robot.

[55:55] Yeah.

[55:56] And he does have kind of a nose.

[55:57] And it's like it's like a but it's like a black kind of, you know, box boxy nose.

[56:05] And that's combined with the the eyebrows give some kind of a groucho look that I like.

[56:10] Yeah.

[56:11] I also.

[56:12] Oh, sorry.

[56:13] I was just saying it's kind of weird.

[56:14] I don't know that he ever does a groucho impression, maybe in the first one.

[56:17] He does look like groucho.

[56:19] So sorry, Ben, you're going to say I like the design like I like of the robot itself,

[56:24] the aesthetic where I like on blank check regularly, always love to talk about old school

[56:31] graphics, visual effects.

[56:34] And I feel like the Apple aesthetic, that sleek kind of aesthetic.

[56:39] Yeah.

[56:40] It's just so nice to see this throwback kind of a rector set looking kind of robot.

[56:45] Yeah.

[56:46] Yeah.

[56:47] Yeah.

[56:48] I agree.

[56:49] It's like boxy, almost cobbled together.

[56:50] Yeah.

[56:51] Yeah.

[56:52] It's got wires and things.

[56:53] Yeah.

[56:55] It's kind of the opposite of the two art critics who see him in the sculpture garden.

[56:58] Right.

[56:59] Who are like that?

[57:00] Impulsive.

[57:01] Yeah.

[57:02] Yeah.

[57:03] Who are like the classic 80s style?

[57:04] Like, you know, like yuppie hipster types who nowadays I'm like, man, they look fucking

[57:11] cool.

[57:12] Yeah.

[57:13] They do look cool.

[57:14] Yes.

[57:15] Clark Griswold is just off camera, ready to like tap some shit on him or something watching

[57:19] watching Christmas vacation.

[57:20] Now, I'm like, why are they fucking with those cool people?

[57:25] Yeah.

[57:26] Like they have the house I want to have.

[57:28] I mean, that might be I've I've said it before.

[57:30] I've been on a record that Christmas Vacation is the first movie I remember seeing and thinking

[57:34] I don't like this.

[57:35] I don't like what I'm watching.

[57:37] Like, what am I doing wrong?

[57:38] I don't like what I'm seeing right now.

[57:40] It has a weird sourness.

[57:42] Yeah.

[57:43] Yeah.

[57:44] But I agree, Ben, that there's some there is something very refreshing about this old

[57:46] school design that looks like a machine.

[57:48] It doesn't it's not rounded and cute and and smooth and sleek and it doesn't look like

[57:52] a toy, which is ironic because they're making toys of him.

[57:55] So then one of us, Johnny Fives rolling around, he sees a church and there's a sign that says

[58:00] looking for answers.

[58:01] And he goes in and goes into confession.

[58:03] And the priest is surprisingly accepting and keeps him at how everyone has a soul and he's

[58:07] alive.

[58:08] Then he sees it's a machine and he kicks him out of the church.

[58:10] Oh, boy, to talk about talk about a harsh, satirical statement on the non inclusiveness

[58:16] of Catholicism, I guess.

[58:18] And he says he can't confess by remote control.

[58:21] He's very offended by it.

[58:22] So obviously.

[58:23] So Johnny Five is making trouble in a bookstore, making trouble in a church.

[58:26] He probably making trouble in a bubble, just like in biodome.

[58:29] And these cops stop him and arrest him.

[58:31] And he does a John Lovett's impression.

[58:32] And they give him they take mugshots of him and everything, even though then they put

[58:36] him in the stolen property room.

[58:37] And Ben is brought in to get him.

[58:39] And he finds the books that Johnny Five took from the bookstore, Frankenstein and Pinocchio.

[58:44] Obviously, Johnny Five is working through some issues.

[58:48] The cop one of the like, there's like some cop that has a really funny, like, take where

[58:54] he's just like mugshots.

[58:55] Like, are you fucking serious?

[58:56] Yeah.

[58:57] Yeah.

[58:58] And that night.

[58:59] It's like, I only get one line.

[59:00] I'm going to fucking nail it.

[59:01] I'm going to do it as big as possible.

[59:02] I hope there's a take of him going mugshots and falling over backwards like his feet just

[59:03] are coming out of the frame like a Bazooka Joe comic.

[59:04] No one falls like that anymore.

[59:05] No.

[59:06] Or you get no all the way up.

[59:21] And people used to fall like that constantly just stuff.

[59:24] People said to them, they were shocked.

[59:26] I hate being that guy.

[59:28] It's like, you know, talking about like Gen Z and stuff.

[59:30] Yeah.

[59:31] It's just like, we don't get like slips like we used to.

[59:34] Yeah.

[59:36] People got to stop spending all their money on avocado toast and start falling out of

[59:40] frame so that you can see their legs more.

[59:43] Mm hmm.

[59:44] Yeah.

[59:45] You know, back when we were growing up, if someone told you something surprising, you

[59:48] would just flip backwards and just bolt over.

[59:52] And there wasn't all this free pornography everywhere.

[59:55] You had to work hard to get it.

[59:57] You had to put your reputation on the line to go to a public place.

[1:00:00] that sold it. Or hang around a train station and find some lying around the tracks. Or

[1:00:06] go into a forest in the woods in New Jersey and dig them up where some old man has left

[1:00:11] them, yeah. And if you were to find the bag of magazines and you discover it, you'd fall

[1:00:17] backwards. Surprise! Kick your feet up! Unfortunately, a lot of young men died hitting their heads

[1:00:23] on rocks and trees after finding pornography in the woods. That was the original plot of

[1:00:27] Bridge to Terabithia. I still remember. He went out into the woods by himself and found

[1:00:34] porn and that's why he died. Exactly, that's why it's so sad. I still remember being in

[1:00:39] a B. Dalton at our local mall and going and like I was in the humor section or whatever

[1:00:47] and someone had stuck a penthouse spout back there and I, you know, it's like finding buried

[1:00:52] treasure and I don't know why those ladies decided to go rollerblading in the nude, but

[1:00:59] God bless them. Yeah, yeah. Live your life, girls. I hate to break it to you, Dan, because

[1:01:04] someone was paying them to take pictures of them rollerblading. What? This isn't like

[1:01:08] Life magazine. They were doing it for the love of the game. I don't think so. Let's

[1:01:14] not cheapen our nude rollerblading by accepting money for it. So did the B&B Dalton just stand

[1:01:20] for books? Yeah, books. It's got to be right. I think so. I mean, it was founded by Dalton

[1:01:25] from Roadhouse. Maybe he was trying to separate himself from his. Oh, maybe it's Bouncer Dalton.

[1:01:29] That's what it's probably is. Bouncer Dalton. Correct. OK, so that night, Johnny Five tells

[1:01:35] Ben he's feeling lonely. Ben admits he's lonely, too. He's afraid Sandy's going to reject him.

[1:01:40] Johnny Five decides to help him with all the romantic input he picked up at the bookstore.

[1:01:45] And the next day, the robbers are like, you know what? Let's get the robots to steal the

[1:01:48] jewels. And we find out their man on the inside of the bank is Oscar Baldwin, the nice man at the

[1:01:54] bank who befriended Johnny. He says, I'll handle the robot. You just keep doing what you do. And

[1:02:00] Johnny Five helps Ben accidentally on purpose run into Sandy. And then he broadcasts that he like

[1:02:06] uses the antenna to take over an electronic sign to broadcast things for Ben to say, which already

[1:02:12] from the beginning, the things he's saying are not good. But then a cat jumps on Johnny Five.

[1:02:16] And for somehow this somehow this messes with his broadcasting so that he's broadcasting

[1:02:20] advertisements and things and offensive things in Spanish. And this is so I'm sorry for I mean,

[1:02:28] this is a scene that I remember most clearly from watching this countless times as a kid,

[1:02:34] because I don't know, I really actually genuinely laughed when you know, like because Ben is

[1:02:42] apparently willing to say whatever Johnny Five, he doesn't give me it and then think about it.

[1:02:48] He just reads it. He starts reading it as he's saying it. And so by the end of each,

[1:02:51] it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken like he never stopped. He never doesn't finish

[1:02:57] it. He always says the whole thing. That was a specific moment that really made me laugh as a

[1:03:01] kid, the tough man to make a tender chicken because then also, there's a little like,

[1:03:06] very old time like pixel animation of like a man punching a chicken.

[1:03:12] Like gives this quizzical look. But before this, like, yeah, Johnny Five's Cyrano is not very good

[1:03:22] because like, you know, she'll just say something like the word stage and he'll be like, and Johnny

[1:03:29] Five's like, Oh, I know a quote about stage. I you know, all the world's a stage. And yeah,

[1:03:36] it doesn't seem like it's good. Good dating advice. Another part of this moment in the movie

[1:03:42] is then a man shows up with, I guess, peanuts and balloons. Yeah, this is the middle of the night.

[1:03:51] Selling balloons. And who's buying balloons in the middle of the night? On your way home,

[1:03:59] you're in the doghouse. Did you buy a couple of balloons?

[1:04:01] No, I forgot it's my anniversary. I got to get some balloons and peanuts.

[1:04:06] Move things over with a big bunch of balloons. I miss there used to be a guy who would who would

[1:04:14] go to all the bars and Park Slope selling athletic socks. And it's probably the same

[1:04:19] sort of thing, right? Like buying socks from the sock guy. And I feel like going to a bar like,

[1:04:23] yeah, a lot of our bartenders need new socks. So it was a pretty good deal.

[1:04:27] Yeah, that's a good idea. And so then he admits the whole thing. I have a friend.

[1:04:32] You're fucking me up that you keep saying my name.

[1:04:34] Yeah, sorry. I can see it messing with you.

[1:04:36] Every single time I'm like, I'm not hanging out with Johnny.

[1:04:39] You wish. Well, I'll say I would say Fisher Stevens, but he so disappears into the part

[1:04:46] of Ben that, you know, it's not really him. He put one hundred and ten percent.

[1:04:50] Yeah. So. So Fisher Stevens, he admits that it's all a ruse they put together.

[1:04:56] And this wins over Sandy instantly in the way this happens always in sitcoms and movies,

[1:05:01] where it's like you made such a big effort for me.

[1:05:04] It's like, why didn't you say something? Why were you doing all this weird shit to me?

[1:05:08] And so they start. Yeah.

[1:05:10] They start bonding over their love of old time rock and roll.

[1:05:14] And Johnny helps a new characteristic of Sandy that we haven't had a new characteristic of of Ben,

[1:05:20] to be honest, that I don't think we've heard for some reason.

[1:05:23] This was the part that really hung up, hung Audrey up that like all of a sudden we learned that she's like Sandy.

[1:05:29] All we knew about Sandy is that she was a nice girl.

[1:05:32] We don't like knowing her one quality was like just kind of vaguely nice.

[1:05:37] And now she's like she loves rock music.

[1:05:39] And I'm like, why are you getting more hung up on the fact that she seems immediately interested in Fisher Stevens,

[1:05:46] even though he's been acting super weird and had this creepy scheme to talk to her?

[1:05:51] Well, as soon as as she agrees to go out with him for more, a robot jumps out,

[1:05:56] shoots a suction cup dart at a taxi cab, reels it back into that for them,

[1:06:01] and then they get in it and drive away like that's a big red flag.

[1:06:04] It's starting a relationship.

[1:06:06] If this guy is followed around by a violent robot that essentially is stealing a car.

[1:06:11] Like, yeah, ladies, don't.

[1:06:13] If he shows up on the first date and he got a giant robot that pulls the taxi back.

[1:06:20] I think that's a red flag.

[1:06:22] Don't go to a second location with the guy who was a robot.

[1:06:27] So the next day they deliver the toys to the department store.

[1:06:30] And I have to admit, I had I had lost track and I thought they were still making them.

[1:06:33] I don't know where Johnny five found the time, what was getting arrested

[1:06:36] and rolling around the city and going to church.

[1:06:38] And apparently he finished all those robots.

[1:06:40] So that that deadline is no longer hanging over them.

[1:06:42] The stakes for that are over.

[1:06:43] Yeah. Also, he just is like having a conversation with the delivery man.

[1:06:49] Yeah. Like it's it's like this thing where sometimes.

[1:06:52] All right. Fine. He's on the street.

[1:06:54] Yeah. Like he's just rolling by like New Yorkers.

[1:06:57] New Yorkers are like, OK, whatever.

[1:06:59] Right. You know, it's a good time to ask follow up questions.

[1:07:03] Sure. Even like a famous person.

[1:07:05] You know, it's like you're like, oh, I got to respect them.

[1:07:07] It's like the same with the robot.

[1:07:09] Yeah. They're used to seeing Murray Futterman walking down the street,

[1:07:11] fighting a bat gremlin like they're there.

[1:07:13] New Yorkers aren't fazed by very much.

[1:07:15] Frog and a pig might get out of a car and go to a diner.

[1:07:18] Jason might kick a boombox.

[1:07:21] Oh, Tom and Jerry might like, you know, show up at a hotel.

[1:07:25] At a hotel. Ideally, there's a big gorilla climbing, climbing a skyscraper.

[1:07:28] Well, don't look up. They'll know you're a tourist.

[1:07:30] Don't look at that gorilla like it's New York.

[1:07:32] They've seen it all, you know.

[1:07:34] Santa Claus shows up working in a department store for some reason.

[1:07:37] Yeah, there's no state.

[1:07:38] But Marshmallow Man, Bill the Butcher and a bunch of other gangs are going to have

[1:07:42] a big fight. Yeah.

[1:07:44] Baseball furies. Yeah.

[1:07:46] Bill Murray can't seem to get out of the city and he's dressed like a clown.

[1:07:49] It's New York. They've seen it all.

[1:07:51] They've seen a there's a lady giving birth to Satan's baby.

[1:07:53] You know, it's New York.

[1:07:57] Only in New York.

[1:07:59] But yeah. So now he's just having a conversation with the delivery guy.

[1:08:01] And the delivery guy is just razzing Johnny Five constantly.

[1:08:04] He's like, take me to your leader.

[1:08:06] Oh, like making robot and alien jokes.

[1:08:08] And it's like, are you not astounded that a robot is handing off these items for you

[1:08:13] to deliver? This has to be the most charge.

[1:08:17] Like this has to be the most exciting

[1:08:18] thing that's ever happened to you in your delivery job.

[1:08:21] But I guess, again, he's seen it all.

[1:08:22] He's accepting packages from time travelers.

[1:08:25] I guess it is Doc Browns after this to get packages.

[1:08:28] Like he goes to the he goes he goes to another warehouse and a xenomorph walks

[1:08:32] out and hands him like a supply of candy that has to go to his door.

[1:08:35] Like this guy, he's seen it all.

[1:08:37] So

[1:08:39] when they're finished, Ben comes back from his date, implying that he spends the night

[1:08:43] with Sandy, which is a full on day at this point.

[1:08:48] Yeah. And he's smoking a cigarette in a cig.

[1:08:50] That's why he's still in the same clothes.

[1:08:52] But his tie's a little loose.

[1:08:54] You know what that means.

[1:08:56] We know that.

[1:08:58] Yeah, that's shorthand for sex.

[1:08:59] And when the robbers come in and kidnap

[1:09:02] them and Oscar jumps out and he distracts Johnny five and then talks him into digging

[1:09:07] a tunnel ostensibly to keep Ben safe, he's worried about Ben.

[1:09:11] This is a big city.

[1:09:12] Let's make him an escape tunnel that he can get dug in.

[1:09:15] Meanwhile, Ben and Fred, they get thrown

[1:09:17] into a freezer in the back of a Chinese restaurant and they argue and then they

[1:09:20] make up and then Ben reveals that Johnny five is alive and will die if he runs out

[1:09:25] of electric power.

[1:09:26] I don't remember why he was worried about that at that moment.

[1:09:30] But because as far as they know, they don't know that Johnny five is has been

[1:09:34] talked into digging a robbery tunnel, but they're worried about it.

[1:09:38] And as Johnny five digs, Oscar complains

[1:09:41] about his job and how he handles all this money, but he never gets any of it.

[1:09:44] And Johnny five comes out and hugs him,

[1:09:46] which I did think was a funny moment in the movie that he takes a break from being

[1:09:50] being an unwitting criminal to hug this guy.

[1:09:53] It only thing that would have made it funnier is if he had hugged him too hard

[1:09:56] and crushed him and then was like, oh, no, oh, no, Oscar.

[1:10:00] Oh no, and he doesn't know what to do.

[1:10:03] Yeah, Ben has to take him out in the woods and shoot him.

[1:10:06] And now Ben has apparently been in the freezer for a day, for hours, because he's like,

[1:10:11] Oh, I'm missing my other date with Sandy.

[1:10:13] They made a date for the next night, and Sandy is all dressed up waiting for him.

[1:10:17] And the only way they can get in touch with her is...

[1:10:21] Okay, so somehow I guess he had a big calculator with him.

[1:10:24] This is wild.

[1:10:25] This is so fucking crazy.

[1:10:27] This is absolutely wild.

[1:10:28] It makes no sense.

[1:10:29] There's a currently unused phone line in the freezer that they're in,

[1:10:33] I guess in case someone needed to make a really private call,

[1:10:36] when they're doing an inventory over the phone.

[1:10:39] You don't have a freezer phone in your walk-in freezer?

[1:10:43] Yeah, I should get one, because my cell service is so bad in my walk-in freezer.

[1:10:47] Which, by the way, has very little in it.

[1:10:49] There's not a lot in it.

[1:10:50] They don't need a walk-in freezer.

[1:10:51] There's like ten ducks in there, I think.

[1:10:53] And that's about it.

[1:10:54] And they shouldn't be handling frozen ducks.

[1:10:57] They should be getting fresh ducks, cooking them right away,

[1:10:59] hanging them in the window to entice me to come in,

[1:11:02] because nothing looks more delicious to me

[1:11:04] than a freshly shellacked Chinese food duck hanging in the window.

[1:11:07] Guys, is there any way to resist it?

[1:11:09] They look so delicious.

[1:11:10] They are delicious.

[1:11:11] I do like that Michael McKean just keeps breaking open boxes,

[1:11:15] and is like, it's more like lobsters or whatever.

[1:11:19] He's completely nonplussed about...

[1:11:21] What was he expecting to find?

[1:11:23] Like a lock-picking kit?

[1:11:27] I thought maybe there might be one of those holes from Roger Rabbit

[1:11:29] that we can throw onto a wall and then walk through it.

[1:11:34] So Ben is such a genius.

[1:11:35] I mean he invented a sentient robot with some help from lightning.

[1:11:38] Maybe there's lightning in the freezer that helps him build this.

[1:11:40] He takes his huge calculator, which I don't know where he was keeping it,

[1:11:44] under his shirt maybe,

[1:11:46] and he turns it into a device that can transmit Morse code over the phone line

[1:11:51] and also call over the phone line.

[1:11:53] So they manage to call Sandy's number, but he doesn't know Morse code.

[1:11:57] So he taps out a series of classic rock songs,

[1:12:00] each of which has a clue in it to direct her from her apartment to the restaurant.

[1:12:05] In order.

[1:12:06] In order, yeah.

[1:12:07] And it starts with help me Rhonda, and that's how she knows,

[1:12:09] oh it must be Ben who needs help.

[1:12:11] Who else would tap out the sound to help me Rhonda on my answering machine?

[1:12:15] There's so many leaps of logic here,

[1:12:18] and it is by far the zaniest thing that happens in the movie.

[1:12:21] If you got that message,

[1:12:23] you would be like a ghost that's trying to connect with me over the phone.

[1:12:27] Or just like, yeah, like, I don't know.

[1:12:30] I guess it's too early for like it to be the Internet.

[1:12:36] Yeah, somebody's modem called me.

[1:12:38] Yeah, I think somebody's modem called me or just like,

[1:12:40] oh, there's something wrong with the phone line.

[1:12:42] I wouldn't be like, hmm, this beeping sounds kind of like help me Rhonda.

[1:12:46] I guess I better go find my new boyfriend.

[1:12:50] I must use my escape room skills to help them.

[1:12:53] And it seems like he continues doing the song long enough for her to recognize what it is.

[1:13:00] He has to build in that window of like, okay, she's going to hear it.

[1:13:04] It's going to take her a little while to figure this out.

[1:13:07] So I'm going to just keep doing it for a bit.

[1:13:09] I do like what this leads to, though,

[1:13:11] which is like her driving all around town in a taxi,

[1:13:16] and the taxi driver is just like immediately getting on board with this

[1:13:20] and just like being like enthusiastic.

[1:13:22] Because this is the 80s, he is a Russian cab driver who loves American music

[1:13:27] because in the 80s, Russians in movies were always crazy about it.

[1:13:31] They loved America.

[1:13:32] They were like, oh, this is great.

[1:13:34] I've seen Red Heat.

[1:13:36] I know all about it.

[1:13:37] Yeah, exactly.

[1:13:38] The Bay starts playing and they go, the docks.

[1:13:42] Broadway, head down to Broadway.

[1:13:45] And so he knows all the songs too, and he's just up for this scavenger hunt adventure,

[1:13:49] and I'm sure the fare is going to be enormous.

[1:13:51] Like this is a long drive.

[1:13:53] Yeah.

[1:13:54] So she finds them.

[1:13:56] Apparently there's no one in the restaurant at all because she can just walk in

[1:14:00] and open up the freezer, which, correct me if I'm wrong,

[1:14:02] usually if you walk into a restaurant,

[1:14:04] they don't just allow you to go in and open up the freezer and just explore.

[1:14:08] It depends on who's on shift.

[1:14:10] Los Locos, she was like, I'm from the city's freezer department.

[1:14:14] Yeah.

[1:14:15] I thought you meant that she kicked their ass, their face, and their balls.

[1:14:18] In that order.

[1:14:19] And they flew into the stratosphere.

[1:14:20] Yeah, they flew into orbit.

[1:14:22] And so Johnny Five, he finally cuts into the bank vault and he realized that,

[1:14:26] and Oscar takes the jewels, and Johnny Five is like, wait a minute.

[1:14:29] This is a bank vault.

[1:14:31] Those are famous jewels that I recognize.

[1:14:33] We're stealing.

[1:14:35] And Oscar runs off and Johnny Five runs off and then the bad guys chase him.

[1:14:39] And this is when they beat him up with crowbars so badly that they're just

[1:14:42] smashing his body apart and there's sparks flying out and there's oil or fluid

[1:14:47] coming out of him.

[1:14:48] It's horrific.

[1:14:49] I have to imagine when I was a kid this must have really disturbed me.

[1:14:53] It's like the opening of fucking RoboCop, right?

[1:14:55] Yeah, it is.

[1:14:56] When Murphy gets all blasted.

[1:14:57] It distressed me as an adult.

[1:14:59] When the red battery fluid splatters over the one guy who's like,

[1:15:05] you don't understand.

[1:15:06] This is artificial intelligence.

[1:15:07] Like the criminal who kind of is sympathetic a little bit to Johnny Five.

[1:15:12] He can't destroy this.

[1:15:13] That makes him the worst criminal though.

[1:15:15] Yeah.

[1:15:16] I just like the horror of it.

[1:15:18] Because he knows that what he's doing is bad and he does it anyway.

[1:15:21] Yeah, and all while Johnny Five is like, dude, don't disassemble.

[1:15:25] I'm alive.

[1:15:28] And Oscar's going, kill him.

[1:15:30] Kill him.

[1:15:31] It's horrible.

[1:15:32] The whole thing is horrible.

[1:15:33] And up to this point, Johnny Five has been super badass.

[1:15:38] Every other time they've tried to physically stop him,

[1:15:42] he just whips their ass and throws them around like he's the bionic woman.

[1:15:45] Yeah.

[1:15:46] I guess maybe he's tired from all that digging in the tunnel.

[1:15:50] And he's confused.

[1:15:52] So he's able to use his antenna to call some remote control airplanes over

[1:15:55] to chase away the bad guys, which I don't think would really work in real life.

[1:15:59] No, it's the scariest thing ever.

[1:16:01] If a model airplane flew at me.

[1:16:04] That's actually pretty bad.

[1:16:07] Okay.

[1:16:08] Now you're talking about me right now, a normal guy walking down the street.

[1:16:11] Yes.

[1:16:12] But if I was in the middle of killing a robot with a crowbar,

[1:16:16] I feel like I would be less afraid of a model airplane flying at me.

[1:16:19] You're like, bring on more synthetics.

[1:16:20] I will destroy them all.

[1:16:22] I'll take them all on.

[1:16:23] Oh, the rise of the machines?

[1:16:25] I don't think so.

[1:16:26] Smash, smash, smash.

[1:16:27] I have a taste for oil.

[1:16:28] This is for the meat puppets.

[1:16:30] Cutting our strings.

[1:16:31] No more.

[1:16:32] Oh, a chess machine's breaking fingers?

[1:16:34] I'm going to break its fingers.

[1:16:36] I'm going to rage against these machines.

[1:16:38] Yeah, let's do this.

[1:16:39] And then they're just Luddites.

[1:16:40] They're just smashing printing presses and sewing machines.

[1:16:43] And so the planes chase them off.

[1:16:45] And now Johnny Five, there's a readout on him that shows he has two hours left to total memory failure.

[1:16:51] Oh, no.

[1:16:52] And the cops come up through the bank tunnel just as Ben and Sandy show up.

[1:16:55] They arrest Ben and Sandy.

[1:16:56] Fred sees the cop car and runs off looking for Johnny Five.

[1:16:59] As mutilated, Johnny Five is rolling through the city.

[1:17:03] He steals a car battery, but it doesn't really help him that much.

[1:17:06] And Fred finally finds him, and Johnny Five can't even talk anymore.

[1:17:08] So he has to write, I'm dying in chalk on a wall.

[1:17:12] It's pretty fucked up, actually.

[1:17:14] Yeah, it's really intense.

[1:17:16] It's really sad.

[1:17:17] And he's like, get Ben.

[1:17:18] And Fred is like, Ben's arrested.

[1:17:20] So they go to a Radio Shack, which luckily in the middle of the day is not open and nobody is there.

[1:17:25] Now you're probably wondering, like real Radio Shacks now.

[1:17:28] You're probably wondering, Stuart Wellington, former employee of Radio Shack.

[1:17:34] Oh, shit.

[1:17:35] Yeah, I was a manager of a Radio Shack store for a while.

[1:17:38] And am I an expert?

[1:17:40] Do I think you could fix a Johnny Five in there?

[1:17:43] I would say no.

[1:17:46] No.

[1:17:47] No?

[1:17:48] Now, Stuart, was it your idea –

[1:17:49] You need a cell phone.

[1:17:51] Yeah, that's true.

[1:17:52] I mean they couldn't get a cell phone then.

[1:17:53] It was 1988.

[1:17:54] But, Stuart, was it your idea when you were at Radio Shack that the Radio Shack Twitter feed should be super horny and a real douche?

[1:18:00] Yeah, that was my idea.

[1:18:02] I sent an e-mail to the corporate.

[1:18:04] I never heard back.

[1:18:05] Years later.

[1:18:06] He said, dear Mr. Shack, your Twitter feed should be super horny in a totally unprofessional way.

[1:18:12] And they said – and it stacked up in his e-mails.

[1:18:14] And he finally got to it.

[1:18:15] He was like, hey, this is the right idea.

[1:18:17] We need to pivot away from all this Lance Armstrong content they were pushing for a long time.

[1:18:23] Like, really?

[1:18:25] Not the coolest dude.

[1:18:27] So Johnny Five was able –

[1:18:29] Old Mr. Radio Shack.

[1:18:30] I'm sorry.

[1:18:31] No, no.

[1:18:32] What were you saying?

[1:18:33] Tell me more about Mr. Shack.

[1:18:34] I was imagining old Mr. Radio Shack being mad at the horny Twitter.

[1:18:38] My store has always been a store where you can go and get those fiber optics that glow at one end.

[1:18:43] They're a decoration I guess some people want.

[1:18:46] It's a store for families.

[1:18:47] It's a family store where you can go in looking for something and the people working there don't know what it is or what shelf it's on.

[1:18:54] And then you leave.

[1:18:56] That was my dream when I started the company.

[1:18:59] I ran a store in Park Slope, and like 90 percent of it was people wanting the cable to connect their MacBook to their TV.

[1:19:10] And I'm like every time, like you need an extra dongle that they don't sell here.

[1:19:14] It was a very exciting time.

[1:19:17] Yeah.

[1:19:18] Yeah.

[1:19:19] And so Johnny Five, he's able to type out instructions to Fred, and Fred is able to fix him.

[1:19:25] But he still needs a new battery and needs wiring to get his memory to power, and he's kind of only half coherent.

[1:19:32] He's talking gibberish.

[1:19:33] He keeps calling Fred derf, I assume in a reference to my friend Dahmer, author of Derf Factors.

[1:19:38] Yeah, Derf Factors, yeah.

[1:19:39] And Johnny Five learns that the bad guys only kidnapped Ben and Fred, but they tried to destroy him.

[1:19:47] And he goes, oh, kidnap the humans, destroy the machine, and that makes him really mad.

[1:19:54] And so what does he do?

[1:19:55] He gets punk as hell.

[1:19:56] Yeah, he gets fucking badass.

[1:19:57] This is what I remember from the movie.

[1:20:00] becomes like a super badass looking dude with chains hanging off and spikes. He has himself a

[1:20:05] mohawk. It's basically like one of it's supposed to be I think one of those piercings that's like

[1:20:10] from your ear to your nose I feel like. I thought they were very cool. Oh it's it's it's Gizmo

[1:20:16] getting all Rambo'd up in Gremlins 2. It's not quite as cool as that I mean Gizmo as Rambo's

[1:20:22] like that's the coolest thing I've ever seen. And also because Gizmo legitimately he uses a

[1:20:27] flaming pencil as an arrow to kill a spider gremlin. And he's been tortured the whole movie

[1:20:32] up to that point and when he finally flips like the audience just loses their fucking minds.

[1:20:38] Oh they go nuts. It's right up there with Yoda fighting Count Dooku at the end of episode 2

[1:20:42] when you're like what what I didn't know this little dude could do this. You find out who's

[1:20:47] the man. Yoda man. Yeah I can't believe that was a real commercial. I cannot like and that

[1:20:53] was a commercial they dropped after release where they're like we need to juice up these sales.

[1:21:01] We didn't realize this was the breakout moment was Yoda kicking ass. So we'll now really start

[1:21:06] and that commercials look so fake looking like they are like they look so cheaply quickly

[1:21:10] produced. But it reminded me of when that movie Bringing Down the House I think that was it came

[1:21:14] out with when Eugene Levy had the line you got me straight tripping boo. And they started adding a

[1:21:19] word balloon that said that to the to the average the print advertisements to be like this is the

[1:21:24] movie where he says it in case in case you only know this movie as you got me straight tripping

[1:21:28] boo it's this movie. This is the movie where Eugene Levy says it. They must have had an argument

[1:21:32] they're like don't give it away for free and like no no no the value of hearing him say it in the

[1:21:37] theater. Yeah and the crowd reaction that's gonna sell itself don't worry about it. Yeah don't worry

[1:21:42] we want people to know. You just don't want to be standing around the fucking water cooler on

[1:21:46] Monday morning and have somebody say that shit and you not have like a blank look on your face.

[1:21:51] Well everybody needs to know what it specifically is referencing. Yeah yeah you don't want to feel

[1:21:56] like you don't get it. Yeah exactly. So that's why you got to know who Yoda who Yoda man is.

[1:22:02] And who says and who's who's got who says you got me straight tripping boo and who

[1:22:07] got that who's the boo who's got them under what circumstances cause the tripping.

[1:22:11] Yeah I don't remember in the movie them saying Yoda man. They don't. No they don't say that in

[1:22:17] the campaign. Okay so just in the campaign they show it's like a bit with Yoda like right before

[1:22:23] Yoda shows up and fights Count Dooku but the commercial like they either do they actually

[1:22:28] have like a like like a voiceover artist say. The way I remember it is they had an announcer say

[1:22:33] who demand Yoda man and the words Yoda man came up on screen very very cheaply CGI'd on like.

[1:22:40] And this is on over footage from a Star Wars movie. So it looks like he's going to send us

[1:22:46] a very sternly word. Yeah he's going to he's going to have to explain to us how expensive

[1:22:50] those words were. But but it was what those words were worth much like William Wordsworth

[1:22:55] the guy who came up with the Yoda man ad campaign because being a poet doesn't pay very much.

[1:23:00] And from his poem I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high over Yoda man.

[1:23:07] And so there's a that's what brings people to the bluff house. Like Ben's face right now

[1:23:18] witnessing this in person for the first time like what the full force of Elliot and

[1:23:24] laughing but also putting his head down with his hands very tired by it.

[1:23:29] Now does this bring back Griffin flashbacks. How does this. What is this. Oh does it. Because right.

[1:23:35] Yeah I feel like Elliot you get comparisons to Griffin on occasion. Yeah I feel like Griffin

[1:23:41] is the high gloss version of me. Yeah a little more motor mouth tricksters right. Yeah yeah.

[1:23:46] No I'm feeling it. I'm feeling the frustration a little bit but also the joy. Yeah yeah. Oh

[1:23:52] OK that's fair. We call it we call it joystration. It's both frustration and joy.

[1:23:57] Because you know like it's all strong emotions right. So like you know that you have this

[1:24:01] association with Elliot that like bonds you to it. I know I feel intensely but I don't

[1:24:07] remember what I feel. Oh annoyance irritation and disappointment and exhaustion. So Fred

[1:24:14] tries to talk him down from going after the crooks but Johnny 5 is ready to go on a rampage.

[1:24:19] And this is where we get to this is the other zaniest thing in the movie which is Johnny 5

[1:24:25] with a mohawk all like tough guy out with Michael McKeon riding him on like like a segway right.

[1:24:33] Riding him through the streets of this generic brand city that has not been named. While while

[1:24:38] what holding out for a hero is playing what's the song. Well yeah that happens I think a little bit

[1:24:43] later as I need a hero comes. Yeah yeah. Yeah Michael McKeon. That was the moment where I'm

[1:24:47] like man it was fun to be Michael McKeon right. That's like right. Johnny 5 around.

[1:24:53] I don't know. Here's the thing. I think we would think that I don't know that Michael

[1:24:55] McKeon was having so much fun. I know you think it is a film about Michael McKeon's life. It's

[1:25:03] going to open with him riding on Johnny 5. And then it'll freeze frame. It'll be like

[1:25:08] you're probably wondering how I get here. I do. I was I want to say you were right.

[1:25:13] That song is called holding out for a hero. I apologize. Oh thank God. Credit. Delicious

[1:25:17] credit. Michael McKeon for reasons passing understanding follows me on Twitter. I don't

[1:25:23] think he listens to The Flop House but if he does. He's got to start. Right in. Tell us what it felt

[1:25:29] like to be riding Johnny 5 around. Wind in your hair. Falcons at your wrist. We are such fans. We

[1:25:35] have so much respect for your work. Yes yes. And we would love to talk to you about what it was

[1:25:39] like to ride around Johnny 5 during the making of Short Circuit 2. You've had a long illustrious

[1:25:45] career like Spinal Tap is still one of my one of my favorite comedies of all time. There's you know

[1:25:48] you've done so much. You're such an amazing dramatic actor. But I want to hear about what it

[1:25:52] was like to write about Johnny 5. And it's pretty cool that in this movie he gets to be the Slip

[1:25:57] and Jimmy character basically. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well I mean it's it's a bit similar to his

[1:26:02] Lenny character from Laverne and Shirley. You know kind of like. And so. But he's he's a man with a

[1:26:08] lot of range. You can do a lot of stuff. And I will say there are no moments in this that I feel

[1:26:12] like are embarrassing for him. I feel like he and his character I think never comes off as like

[1:26:18] embarrassing or cringy. But I'm sure it was embarrassing to be riding around the streets

[1:26:22] of Toronto on the back of a giant puppet robot. Yeah. I mean it's not like he's like it's not

[1:26:26] like he's like John Candy and Splash where you're like fuck dude. Let's edit all your lines out

[1:26:33] please. You've referenced all I remember from that movie so long as I've seen Splash. What

[1:26:38] I feel like he's just like so aggressively horned. All I remember is him dropping money

[1:26:43] on the ground so he can go to pick it up and look up women's skirts. That's all I remember from him

[1:26:47] in that movie. Yeah. Which is not a. I remember even as a kid being like that's not you're saying

[1:26:53] that's a no no. I'm saying that's a big no no. Yeah. Yeah. That's a big no no. That gets elified

[1:27:00] Elliott's certified big no no of the week. You know what I'm elifying it everybody that

[1:27:06] stands for Elliott certification. I'm elifying that. Yeah. That's my no no of the week is

[1:27:11] dropping change on the ground so you can pick it up while looking up women's skirts. Don't do it.

[1:27:16] That's elified. Just take it for granted. Not a no. That's a no no. Don't say you got to get a

[1:27:21] pretty deep squat or have to be around a lot of tall women to be looking up those skirts.

[1:27:25] Yeah. Well it's unless you shine to like a mirror she. Yeah. The change is very very

[1:27:32] shiny. So you can just. Yeah. But don't do it. That's just the impracticality morally. Just

[1:27:38] don't do it. What's my yes yes. Well my elified yes yes for the week has got to be riding around

[1:27:42] on a robot's back. Well you can't go wrong with that. So Fred that like if if New Yorkers saw

[1:27:52] that they'd be like Yeah. OK. Get on my phone. I'll put it up on what is New York. Yeah. This

[1:27:58] will be my modern love entry to the New York Times. There was a man riding a robot.

[1:28:02] One frustrated sort of like is this improv everywhere. What's going on. Yeah. Yeah. Walk

[1:28:09] along like one of those. I've never had a day in my life kind of videos. It's just like oh my god

[1:28:14] I got like you know my iced coffee man on a robot. Then I went to a rooftop party.

[1:28:20] Or it sounds great. Well some some guy who did some dumb guy who's got a college internship in

[1:28:26] the city posts about it. I saw this guy riding a robot. This freaky stuff is happening around

[1:28:31] here. He loses his job. He's got to go home. Yeah. It doesn't. It's all sorts of stuff like that.

[1:28:37] Anyway Johnny five. They go into the sewers to stop the pop up and stop the car. The poster

[1:28:42] you may have noticed for short circuit two involves Johnny and Ben in the sewers. No it's

[1:28:46] Johnny and Fred in the sewers in the movie. And I'm tired of these posters lying to me.

[1:28:50] When I see the poster for bringing down the house it accurately tells me which character says you

[1:28:54] got me straight tripping boo. They don't they don't have another character saying it. No that's

[1:28:58] a good point. So then Johnny five fights the robbers. He's wisecracking non-fucking stop.

[1:29:05] He just never stops talking. And he chases. He ties them up or whatever. And he chases Oscar

[1:29:09] while he's sparking and bleeding everywhere. Oscar gets on a boat. Johnny five follows along on land

[1:29:15] and then he gets on it with his few last minutes of life. He swings on a there's a moment style.

[1:29:20] Oscar is running away and he's like yes. Are you. He's like are you a curse from God.

[1:29:27] And that's it. There's no response. That's the one time when Johnny five doesn't say shit because

[1:29:32] he's like you better fucking believe it. You know I am. Yeah. Yeah. Vengeance is mine sayeth Johnny.

[1:29:40] So with his last minutes of life he catches Oscar. The police show up. Ben and Sandy and Fred all show

[1:29:46] up just in time for Johnny five to say goodbye and die. And then Ben takes a defibrillator because

[1:29:52] the EMS people showed up for a robot. And he takes the defibrillator from him and he starts.

[1:30:00] shocking him and he manages to shock him back to life and he tells the MS guy he goes

[1:30:03] don't cut off that power or I will just I will shove you through a hole or something I don't

[1:30:07] remember what his thread is but it's like that's not how a defibrillator works like it's not a

[1:30:11] constant stream of power it's sharp shocks that are meant to jump start a heart Johnny

[1:30:15] Five doesn't have a heart like it's not how machines work yeah you can't transfer to a battery

[1:30:20] some of that power it doesn't it's the same way that like you can't really kick a jukebox and

[1:30:24] have it start playing that's because Fonz is a magical being that's how yeah do you think now

[1:30:28] do you think the EMT showed up assuming that there was a guy inside the robot suit that he

[1:30:33] was going to need to do an emergency appendectomy on like that that performer who was in the Godzilla

[1:30:38] monster suit that one time yeah where they had to have the surgery through the suit while he was

[1:30:44] still wearing it and they realized that he was immune to anesthetic that's the craziest story

[1:30:50] I've ever heard that this performer uh yeah he had like that's the worst place to have an

[1:30:55] appendectomy in your body in it to have it to have an appendectomy while you're wearing a thick

[1:31:01] rubber suit and you're also on a scale model of a city that's very small and you have to know that

[1:31:06] for the surgeon it's hard to resist the urge just walk away from the surgery for a moment to smash

[1:31:10] some buildings to live out a dream of being a giant who can step on buildings because surgeons

[1:31:13] don't usually get to do that yeah yeah my uncle that's fun fact of the week my uncle is a retired

[1:31:20] retired bone surgeon never got to stomp around on buildings was never a giant anyway surgeon yeah

[1:31:26] like that's a fucking job I guess yeah it sounds cool yeah it sounds when you got when your bones

[1:31:32] when your bones got to get pulled out of your body or whatever anyway I could totally imagine

[1:31:36] him using a bone saw to just cut through someone's rib cage or something anyway he doesn't do that

[1:31:40] ready before he uses it because he loves he's a big spider man so much yeah I mean they're great

[1:31:47] really what is it he's a macho man randy savage fan but only when he's playing another character

[1:31:51] yeah yeah that makes sense so he loves so he loves the slim jim ads and he loves bone saw

[1:31:55] but he doesn't like wait is he not playing macho man in the slim jim i always assumed he was playing

[1:32:01] a slim jim guy named slim jim was he not okay we are so close to the end of this movie yeah

[1:32:08] uh so uh johnny five he's in all the newspapers now he's a big star he's on the cover of people

[1:32:12] magazine which is which i guess is accepting him as a person you can't get more accepted as a person

[1:32:18] than beyond people magazine people life magazine that also would mean that he's alive yeah he's

[1:32:25] he's uh starring in a remake of alive uh magazine like all living things he only has a limited time

[1:32:31] yeah time also affects non-living things it's called entropy and erosion and stuff so that's

[1:32:37] a little bit here uh it's a news week only a living thing can feel weak uh inanimate objects

[1:32:44] always have strength uh so the uh now it's a little bit of the future yeah they have their

[1:32:49] own company and you reach too much of the earth yeah so they have a they have a new they have

[1:32:56] their own company called input inc you know fred has made it because it's the 80s so he's wearing

[1:33:00] a suit a fancy suit with sunglasses on and is talking to a big zack morris cell phone that's

[1:33:05] how you know you're successful he says he says words like bubble and stuff like

[1:33:09] yeah yeah yeah and he says you want my toys everybody wants my toys and he and sandy are

[1:33:13] late they've got a rush to the citizenship oath ceremony the only evidence we've received so far

[1:33:18] that this movie is not set in toronto because up to this point everything else has pointed in that

[1:33:22] direction uh and ben is taking the oath and also a shiny gold johnny five that's right his body got

[1:33:29] turned to gold somehow not a great replacement because gold is not a strong metal it's weak like

[1:33:35] newsweek magazine says it's very malleable and uh and johnny five gets singled out by the judge

[1:33:41] administering the oath that he is america's first robotic citizen with all rights inherent to all

[1:33:47] citizens now that means he has fewer rights now because of the current supreme court which loves

[1:33:52] taking rights away they're a bunch of assholes but up and so johnny five uh no longer has certain

[1:33:57] rights but he has all the rights that americans have left sandy kisses ben and that and they asked

[1:34:02] johnny five how do you feel now that you're a citizen he goes i feel alive and he jumps in the

[1:34:06] air which he should not be able to do he does not have legs and then there's a freeze frame

[1:34:12] freeze frame that's how you end a fucking picture guys

[1:34:18] we haven't talked about the score but uh some primo 80s like saxophone pop movies for her plays

[1:34:26] oh yeah and uh we enjoy the credits the solid synth stuff too yeah yeah yeah that's true is it

[1:34:33] is it the score like the love theme from romancing the stone no it's not that good

[1:34:38] my the best saxophone score 80s the score that sounds so 80s the music just looking it up now

[1:34:45] the music is by charles fox who did a lot of tv uh scoring in the 70s uh he wrote the theme song

[1:34:51] for the love boat uh and he also uh was he also was one of the writers on killing me softly

[1:34:56] so he's has oh he has a grammy for the song killing me softly with this song no the song

[1:35:02] that makes more sense no so uh so yeah that's the epic story of uh of short circuit two uh and

[1:35:10] there was no short circuit three there was i guess they want they were talking about making a sequel

[1:35:15] and they did not because this movie was not a success yeah although it was so to live up to all

[1:35:21] your expectations ben and i'm dan fuck um re-watching it uh because i love this fucking movie as a kid

[1:35:29] i was like singing the songs i was like i'm thinking about how badass johnny five looked

[1:35:34] when he was like a punk rock version oh yeah i was super into it uh well before we get a reaction

[1:35:41] let's we have a we have a branded segment that's all okay what's that segment it's called final

[1:35:46] judgments uh where we decide whether it's a good bad movie a bad bad movie or a movie we kind of

[1:35:52] like um yeah ben we already why don't you kick us off all right well i will say that having been the

[1:36:02] one to suggest we watched this cursed fucking movie um and now revisiting it as an adult i uh

[1:36:12] will probably never watch it again and i i have to say i think this was a bad bad movie

[1:36:21] and just that as much as it was you know i guess nostalgic to see my robot friend johnny five again

[1:36:30] i just couldn't get past the scenes with um the character ben was so distracting so cringy

[1:36:38] yeah just awful so as much as you know it's like as much as

[1:36:47] we're gonna have to kind of always face this with our 80s 90s comedies really just movies from that

[1:36:53] era in general that we grew up on and then you revisit and you're like horrified i mean that

[1:37:00] is just so consistent um this is one of those like the nerds did what yeah seriously um so i

[1:37:11] just i just feel that as much as like i i remember growing up loving this movie uh i i on rewatch i i

[1:37:19] feel nothing but kind of uh uh ill will towards uh this film yeah i mean the our reactions to

[1:37:32] these movies that we do fall so often outside of the codified uh categories we created that

[1:37:39] we really should get different categories the categories have become kind of a a joke at this

[1:37:44] point but i i will say that like yeah that this is a movie that has one big problem and it's

[1:37:52] consistent it's it's consistent consistent racial insensitivity whether it be the lead character

[1:37:59] being in brownface the whole time or minor characters just being terrible stereotypes

[1:38:06] um if that were not true about the movie i would say like while this has little to offer me

[1:38:14] beyond nostalgia as an adult person i would think it was a fine sweet little comedy for kids

[1:38:23] and it would you know it'd be perfectly okay but that that is a a glaring flaw i would say with the

[1:38:32] film uh what do you guys have to say yeah i mean i'm it's i it's obviously uh looking looking back

[1:38:42] it is obviously a bad bad movie uh there's i'm i'm i'm i find it i'm fine there's something

[1:38:49] compelling for me watching it because i'm like why did i love this movie so much uh and the

[1:38:56] puppeteering work is incredible like they uh they do some really impressive and uh very creative ways

[1:39:04] of like blocking and using johnny 5 and i think that stuff's all super cool but yeah and i'm also

[1:39:10] shocked at how like they like made this crazy bank heist uh subplot i don't know like it's

[1:39:18] it's a very weird movie uh but no it's not it's not particularly good yeah i think there's a so

[1:39:25] uh i have a i have a concept that i have uh named the classic movie cringe which is when you watch

[1:39:31] an older film and often there is many many times where there is a moment that is racially insensitive

[1:39:40] or sexually insensitive or misogynist or things like that and you just kind of have to cringe at

[1:39:46] it and move on and there's kind of a ratio in my head that i can't codify but where the quality of

[1:39:51] the film has to kind of outweigh the quality of that cringe that the intensity of it to a certain

[1:39:58] extent to make the film

[1:40:00] And I love a lot of old movies that have those moments where you like cringe through it and then you move on.

[1:40:05] I love westerns which are an inherently cringing and problematic genre since they're built on extermination and colonization.

[1:40:12] And are themselves then also misogynistic.

[1:40:15] Burt lends on real life extermination and colonization.

[1:40:19] So I'm used to kind of being through that stuff.

[1:40:22] And I feel like if this movie had been – because without the racist stuff, I feel like this is a good-bad movie.

[1:40:29] It's super dumb and silly and the robot effects all look really good.

[1:40:33] It's not a good movie. It's not funny.

[1:40:35] And as a kid, I thought it was funny because kids –

[1:40:37] I feel like with kids, if the jokes are fast enough and there are references to things, then kids like it.

[1:40:41] I'm experiencing this right now because my kids have discovered the Despicable Me and Minions movies.

[1:40:45] And watching them, I'm like –

[1:40:47] Wait, there's movies about those things?

[1:40:49] Yeah, I thought they were just memes that people's aunts put online.

[1:40:53] No, no. They started as movies and they are super fast-paced in terms of jokes.

[1:40:57] And there's a lot of references to things that my kids don't know what they are, but they know it's a reference to something.

[1:41:01] And they love them.

[1:41:03] And so it's like if you took out the racist stuff, this would be kind of a good-bad movie.

[1:41:08] But with it, the quality of the movie is just not –

[1:41:11] and the ludicrousness of the movie is not of a high enough caliber to make up for the rest.

[1:41:16] So it becomes a bad, bad movie.

[1:41:18] But I will say that sometimes when you're a movie –

[1:41:22] when you're a lover of any kind of cultural media, you have to wade through the toxicity of the past in order to get to the glimmers of treasure that still exist.

[1:41:32] But don't do that with Short Circuit too.

[1:41:34] It's not worth doing with Short Circuit.

[1:41:36] Yeah, definitely not worth it.

[1:41:38] Watch Chappie instead.

[1:41:40] No, no.

[1:41:41] No, no.

[1:41:42] What?

[1:41:43] But the way that like – I've been re-watching Seinfeld recently.

[1:41:45] And there's an episode that I watched recently that was so funny but then also has a whole subplot that's super racist.

[1:41:51] Anytime a Chinese person is on that show, it's super racist because they all just yell loudly in broken English.

[1:41:57] And it's like, oh, I wish if only this subplot wasn't in this episode.

[1:42:01] It would be an amazing episode of television.

[1:42:03] But the stuff in it that is funny to me is so funny that I'm like, okay, I'll fringe through this part to get to the funny scenes.

[1:42:11] But Short Circuit too is not at that – is not the level of Seinfeld.

[1:42:15] You know, a good way maybe to deal with the disappointments of nostalgia could be microdosing.

[1:42:24] Oh, okay.

[1:42:25] You've probably heard about microdosing.

[1:42:27] If not –

[1:42:28] Not in this context before.

[1:42:29] I want to hear more.

[1:42:30] Yeah, tell me.

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[1:43:34] Elliot, I believe you have a Jumbotron now that Stewart is done opening various cans on microphone.

[1:43:41] Yeah, during the ads.

[1:43:43] That was a good idea.

[1:43:44] So the Jumbotron I have, this is a message for David, and this message is from Crystal.

[1:43:49] So if your name is David and you know a Crystal in your life, this message might be for you, and you'll figure out if it is for you from the context of the message, which goes like such.

[1:43:57] Howdy, peaches.

[1:43:58] I'm wishing my wonderful Spider-Man-loving partner a happy 17th wedding anniversary.

[1:44:02] We usually don't celebrate our anniversary in part because we don't always remember the date in July we were married on.

[1:44:07] But 2022 marks 20 years together.

[1:44:10] So I wanted to get a special shout-out from our fave peaches.

[1:44:13] Here's to 20 more years, babe.

[1:44:15] That's so sweet.

[1:44:16] Happy anniversary, David and Crystal.

[1:44:17] Congratulations.

[1:44:18] That's wonderful.

[1:44:19] That is wonderful.

[1:44:22] Hey, and you know what else is wonderful?

[1:44:24] What?

[1:44:25] You know what, Dan?

[1:44:26] When this episode comes out, it's only going to be a few days before the release of the collected edition of Maniac of New York, The Bronx is Burning, my second volume of Maniac of New York comics from Aftershock Comics, written by me, art by Andrea Moody.

[1:44:38] It's the story of an unstoppable slasher, loose in New York, and this time he's in the Bronx.

[1:44:43] So that's on August 3rd.

[1:44:45] The collected edition, Maniac of New York, The Bronx is Burning, is coming out just a few days after this episode is released.

[1:44:49] I snuck in an ad for my own stuff.

[1:44:52] It's great.

[1:44:53] Yeah, sounds like a good, I don't know, Halloween gift.

[1:44:57] Do those exist?

[1:44:59] I'm trying to think of a holiday that might be coming up soon.

[1:45:01] Anyway.

[1:45:02] I mean, it comes out on one of my son's birthdays, and he loves scary stuff.

[1:45:06] So buy it for one of Elliot's son's birthdays.

[1:45:09] But don't buy it for them because they're too young for it.

[1:45:12] So buy it for someone you love and say happy Elliot's son's birthday.

[1:45:16] Hi, my name is Graham Clark, and I'm one half of the podcast Stop Podcasting Yourself, a show that we've recorded for many, many years.

[1:45:29] And at the moment, instead of being in person, we're recording remotely.

[1:45:34] And you wouldn't even notice.

[1:45:36] You don't even notice the lag.

[1:45:39] That's right, Graham.

[1:45:41] And the great thing about this.

[1:45:44] Go ahead.

[1:45:45] No, you go ahead.

[1:45:47] OK.

[1:45:48] Go ahead.

[1:45:50] And you can listen to us every week on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcast, your podcast.

[1:46:00] Hi, it's me, Dave Hill from before here to tell you about my brand new show on Maximum Fun.

[1:46:07] The Dave Hill Good Time Hour, which combines my old Maximum Fun show, Dave Hill's Podcasting Incident, with my old radio show, the goddamn Dave Hill Show, into one new futuristic program from the future.

[1:46:19] If you like delightful conversation with incredible guests, technical difficulties, and actual phone calls from real life listeners, you've just hit a street called easy.

[1:46:28] I'm also joined by my incredible co-host, the boy criminal, Chris Gersbeck.

[1:46:32] Say hi, Chris.

[1:46:33] Hey, Dave.

[1:46:34] It's really great.

[1:46:35] That's enough, Chris.

[1:46:36] And New Jersey chicken rancher, Des.

[1:46:38] Say hi, Des.

[1:46:39] Hey, Dave.

[1:46:40] The Dave Hill Good Time Hour.

[1:46:41] Brand new episodes every Friday on Maximum Fun.

[1:46:44] Plus, the show's not even an hour.

[1:46:46] It's 90 minutes.

[1:46:47] Take that, stupid rules.

[1:46:49] We nailed it.

[1:46:51] Hey, and while we're doing plugs, I just want to do a quick shout out to my friend and friend of the pod, Tom Fowler.

[1:46:57] He's a comic book creator, and he has a brand new book on the way.

[1:47:01] It's a collection of the comic book Refrigerator Full of Heads, which is part of DC's Hill House line, and it's the follow-up to a successful Basket Full of Heads.

[1:47:12] If you're a fan of horror comics, 80s horror, hammer horror, all that stuff, this is something for you to check out.

[1:47:20] So you should head down to your comic shop and get that preorder in because preorders are super important in this business.

[1:47:27] And the cutoff is going to be either the 8th, 19th, or 21st, depending on your comic book distributor.

[1:47:33] So head to that shop and ask for it.

[1:47:35] It is curated by the one and only Joe Hill, and there's a lot of other great people working on it.

[1:47:42] So check it out, Refrigerator Full of Heads.

[1:47:45] But moving on back to the show from our delightful sponsors and Elliot's plug, here's some letters.

[1:47:58] August 3rd, Maniac of New York, The Bronx is Burning. Collected edition. In comic book stores August 3rd.

[1:48:02] Oh, Dan, letters time, huh?

[1:48:04] Listeners sometimes write us letters. I mean frequently they do because we've made it part of the show.

[1:48:10] Yeah.

[1:48:11] And this is the part where I talk about them.

[1:48:13] This first letter is from Amos, last name withheld, who writes,

[1:48:19] I've become a big Nicolas Cage fan thanks in no small part to the podcast.

[1:48:25] It's been a delight to witness his late career renaissance, although I hope he continues to churn out direct-to-streaming B-movies so that Cage-mas can continue.

[1:48:35] But this brings me to my question.

[1:48:38] Are there any other actors that you think deserve late career reconsideration and that you would like to see rescued from B-movie purgatory?

[1:48:47] That's Amos, last name withheld.

[1:48:52] Um, you guys have any thoughts on this?

[1:48:56] Any actors that you would like to see rescued that maybe are, you know, not being given the parts that they deserve?

[1:49:05] I mean, to think of a few, I mean, it's also tough because I don't know if these are actors that necessarily fall within these categories.

[1:49:14] For a while I would say Melanie Linsky was always an actress that I wish had gotten more big parts and got more, you know, awards consideration.

[1:49:24] But she's been working consistently and she's great in Yellow Jackets.

[1:49:28] Yeah, she's got her own TV show.

[1:49:30] But I don't know, like, Jeffrey Combs definitely deserves to be in more stuff.

[1:49:35] I love Jeffrey Combs. More Jeffrey Combs, please.

[1:49:38] He's so great in everything he's in. Put him in more stuff.

[1:49:41] Not just Star Trek stuff. Put him in other stuff too, please.

[1:49:44] Put him on stuff that Stewart's going to watch.

[1:49:46] Yeah.

[1:49:47] Um, I, a couple, just sort of looking at movies that I've watched recently.

[1:49:53] Uh, the movie that I talked about for Miss That Movie last time.

[1:50:00] Like Mimi Rogers, like kind of got a raw deal.

[1:50:03] Like she, you know, had like, she's not in the movie raw deal though.

[1:50:08] Right?

[1:50:08] No, like she was in kind of a few big movies at the, the sort of the peak of

[1:50:14] her career, but then I don't know, never seemed to really, uh, you know, like she

[1:50:21] works consistently, but I think that she could have done bigger things.

[1:50:25] Like when I, when I see her like show up and saying ginger snaps, I'm like, I'm

[1:50:28] so happy about it, she's so good in it.

[1:50:31] And, um, also I, I recently, I went to the Nighthawk to see Supernova, the

[1:50:37] legendarily, um, troubled production that like started out as a Walter Hill movie.

[1:50:41] He took his name off of it.

[1:50:42] They had another director and then like Francis Ford Coppola

[1:50:45] came in, re-edited that.

[1:50:47] Uh, anyway, it stars James Spader, who certainly had like a great career, but

[1:50:53] like of late just kind of seems happy to be in these long running television

[1:50:59] shows and I, I just wish that we saw something that was a little more

[1:51:04] ambitious out of it.

[1:51:06] Like, I mean, I can't fault him for it.

[1:51:07] I just wish that he would get a, a good like career movie role as well.

[1:51:13] Um, you guys have anything you haven't said anything?

[1:51:19] Um, I'll shout out Keith David.

[1:51:22] Yeah.

[1:51:22] Oh yeah.

[1:51:23] He's amazing.

[1:51:24] Yeah.

[1:51:24] That's my boy.

[1:51:25] I like, I mean, we did on Blank Check, um, a little while back, Carpenter,

[1:51:31] mini-series, um, and I mean, he just has an amazing voice and I just look, was

[1:51:39] looking at his filmography.

[1:51:40] He apparently is in NOPE.

[1:51:42] Oh, great.

[1:51:43] Yeah, yeah, I also, and Michael Wincott is in NOPE and I fucking love Michael

[1:51:47] Wincott.

[1:51:49] It's another character actor.

[1:51:50] Sorry.

[1:51:50] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1:51:51] That's okay.

[1:51:52] I'm going to say more Keith David, more Keith David in the world, please.

[1:51:56] He's got like also the best smile, best smile, such a great voice.

[1:52:01] Like he's just, he's so killer.

[1:52:04] I want to flip the premise of this question and say, I kind of want to free

[1:52:08] a lot of the great actors that are working today from the A-list kind of big

[1:52:12] budget franchise IP movies that they're making.

[1:52:15] I feel like there's an entire generation of actors that I think is so caught tied

[1:52:19] up in Star Wars and Marvel and those kinds of things that they're not getting

[1:52:25] the more individual or unique or iconic on their own roles that they could be

[1:52:30] getting.

[1:52:30] And that's disappointing to me that there's a, I feel like now it happens

[1:52:34] with, um, indie directors, which doesn't bother me as much, but with, with some

[1:52:39] of these, with some of these actors, they get locked into a franchise and they

[1:52:44] just don't get to do too much else.

[1:52:46] And those movies also eat up resources that studios could be using to make one

[1:52:50] off movies that are amazing, you know, and memorable rather than big chain

[1:52:54] franchises.

[1:52:54] So I would love to, I wish that there are many actors that I would love to have

[1:52:59] like bigger careers, but I also want the actors who have big careers to be able

[1:53:03] to do things that are more unique or special and not just, Oh, well now

[1:53:09] they're playing this character in this, in this adaptation of a, of a thing from

[1:53:13] my childhood, you know?

[1:53:15] That could like, I guess they're a Thundercat now and they will be for as

[1:53:19] long as those movies are made.

[1:53:20] It's something I like, there was a period where, uh, Colin Farrell was

[1:53:24] starring in a lot of big, like he was in like SWAT and all kinds of other shit.

[1:53:28] And now he's like, now he's kind of leaning into doing more smaller roles

[1:53:33] or more interesting projects.

[1:53:35] Uh, and he's great.

[1:53:39] But I think a lot of that, a lot, a lot of that is tied up in my being tired of

[1:53:43] web, uh, I went to, um, I took, uh, my older son to Comic-Con for, in San Diego

[1:53:48] for the day, a couple of days ago and tired you out and I was tired out, but

[1:53:52] also that it made me realize how tired, how tired I am of seeing the things that

[1:53:57] I grew up with dominating media or, or, or media at least, and how hungry I am

[1:54:03] for new things, new things my son can enjoy that I don't know anything about.

[1:54:07] And also new things that are just new ideas.

[1:54:09] Like I love as much as I love, you know, all the, all the junk I grew up with,

[1:54:13] like, I want some, I, I don't, I need new, I want new things, you know?

[1:54:16] And, and I'd love to see the actors of today doing new stuff.

[1:54:19] You want like Johnny five, you want input.

[1:54:23] Yeah.

[1:54:23] Well, but not just any Johnny five would just take any input.

[1:54:26] Like if he had rolled into the wrong part of that store, he's just reading, you know,

[1:54:30] a lot of libertarian books and things like that.

[1:54:34] I mean, there is though, something to Johnny five, getting

[1:54:38] to experience the internet.

[1:54:39] I mean, talk about input.

[1:54:41] Yeah.

[1:54:42] That'll be short.

[1:54:44] Immediately.

[1:54:48] Johnny five is that he's storming the Capitol on January 6th and telling people

[1:54:52] that blowjobs happen on first dates.

[1:54:54] And like, like it's all like all the terrible things he picks up on the

[1:54:58] internet and he just rolls around going, am I the asshole?

[1:55:01] Am I the asshole?

[1:55:02] Like, um, well, actually, actually.

[1:55:06] And some, a girl runs up and goes, I'm such a big fan of yours.

[1:55:09] And he goes, Oh, are you really a fan of me?

[1:55:11] Tell me what's that?

[1:55:11] What's my middle name then?

[1:55:12] Oh, you failed my test.

[1:55:13] Forget it.

[1:55:15] Tell me, tell me five of my songs.

[1:55:18] I don't like modern day, modern day incel radicalized Johnny five.

[1:55:21] I don't like this.

[1:55:23] Well, let's, let's leave, let's leave this fantasy figure behind and move on to, um,

[1:55:28] Johnny five is like, I'm not getting those vaccines.

[1:55:30] You don't have to Johnny five.

[1:55:31] They're you're, you're not, you're a machine.

[1:55:33] You're not going to get a virus.

[1:55:34] Don't tell me.

[1:55:37] He would look pretty cool wearing a milady fedora, you know?

[1:55:42] I mean, a handsome man looks good in anything.

[1:55:44] Uh, so let's, there's another letter here.

[1:55:47] It's from Emma last name withheld.

[1:55:49] Who writes this, this, uh, uh, email is titled from the mouths of babes.

[1:55:57] Please.

[1:55:58] I am begging you tell Elliot.

[1:56:00] I introduced my boyfriend to the flop house while also rewatching the star

[1:56:05] wars prequels and this absolute treasure of a man said the separatist battle droids

[1:56:10] sound like that nerdy dude from your podcast.

[1:56:14] I need to know if Elliot finds this more less or just as offensive

[1:56:19] as the comparison to Morocco.

[1:56:21] Love you.

[1:56:22] And the last name withheld.

[1:56:25] I mean, I love my rock.

[1:56:26] I've, I've worked with Morocco.

[1:56:27] I he's a, he's a great guy.

[1:56:28] So I'm not, I'm not offended by that at all.

[1:56:30] The battle droids, I think more just the fact that they're so

[1:56:33] incredibly incompetent all the time.

[1:56:35] Yeah.

[1:56:35] Um, but other, I'd never heard that comparison before, but I'll take it.

[1:56:39] I'll, I'll accept it.

[1:56:40] I understand.

[1:56:41] I'd so much rather be that than Watto.

[1:56:43] So.

[1:56:44] Yeah.

[1:56:45] Well, um, it's still shorter than a lot of blank check, but

[1:56:50] we've kept been here a while.

[1:56:51] So let's, uh, let's speed through, uh, the last thing I'm looking for the exit.

[1:56:57] Well, you know, yeah.

[1:57:00] How often are you, how often are you texting someone breaking or

[1:57:03] canceling or changing plans?

[1:57:05] Because the episodes have, have gone longer than you thought they would.

[1:57:08] Quite often, because what happens to is Griffin will be classically late.

[1:57:13] Um, and then they'll start talking about some nerd shit that I can't listen to.

[1:57:21] And then we'll probably start then about an hour after we've met up and then it'll

[1:57:27] be like a two and a half long recording.

[1:57:30] And then, yeah, I have to tell my girlfriend that like, I'm going to be

[1:57:33] late for dinner because I was talking about the matrix, the new matrix.

[1:57:39] You were listening to somebody passionately explain how the M and M

[1:57:42] experience isn't what it should be and how it's advertised.

[1:57:48] I love that Ben like breaks the, like, you know, there's this old stereotype

[1:57:52] that like nerds and I don't know, how would you describe yourself?

[1:57:57] Sort of like humorous dirt bags.

[1:58:00] Can't, uh, can't get along.

[1:58:03] I mean, you just described him like that party plays on the, that's the part I

[1:58:08] play on the show, kind of the every man.

[1:58:11] Um, yeah, I, I, I mean, nerds and, and, and people like me can get along because

[1:58:18] they're both misanthropes and, uh, have trouble communicating with people.

[1:58:24] So it's like, you, you, you have that sort of shared bond of being kind of a

[1:58:28] weirdo.

[1:58:29] Yeah.

[1:58:29] Freaks and geeks, you know, together in one candy bar.

[1:58:35] Um, Hey, you got your freaks and my geeks.

[1:58:37] Well, you got your geeks and my freaks.

[1:58:39] Let's try it.

[1:58:40] No, that's cannibalism.

[1:58:41] Stop, stop.

[1:58:42] They're eating freaks and geeks.

[1:58:43] Stop.

[1:58:45] Let's do the recommendations.

[1:58:47] Uh, movies that we've seen that we enjoyed that might be a better use of your time.

[1:58:52] Um, in short circuit to, I think, I think I didn't recommend this.

[1:58:57] I hope I'm not, my memory is full of holes these days.

[1:59:01] I'm sorry if I already recommended this.

[1:59:04] Uh, I would be remiss not to though, because it is related to Stuart's favorite

[1:59:11] movie, Ricky, Oh, the story of Ricky.

[1:59:15] I saw the cat.

[1:59:15] Did I talk about this?

[1:59:16] No, I saw the movie, the cat from, uh, 1992.

[1:59:22] It's, uh, apparently based on like a whole series of novels about a character

[1:59:27] that if you watch the movie, the cat, you would walk out being like, wait,

[1:59:31] that was the main character you wouldn't have, you wouldn't have known.

[1:59:34] It's mostly about these aliens who are living on earth.

[1:59:38] And, uh, one of them like is like a guy, like just some dude, like one of them

[1:59:43] is a young lady and one of them is in the form of a cat it's a, and they,

[1:59:49] there's a fight in it between like a cat and a dog where, you know, both of the,

[1:59:55] both it's very, it's a dramatic like science fiction fight between.

[2:00:00] cat and a dog where like there's like this cat puppet flying around and stuff and like a lot

[2:00:05] of glowing stuff and none neither of the animals get hurt and they're both get to be like good guys

[2:00:10] so animal lovers can watch this movie and be happy but it is by the end it gets just as gross as

[2:00:18] ricky well not just as gross ricky was pretty great there's like they're there to fight like

[2:00:25] a bad alien and they get you know mixed up and like there's the the main character from the

[2:00:31] novels is i guess an investigative reporter there's all these shenanigans i don't really

[2:00:35] understand it is one of these bizarre movies where really getting everything that that happens isn't

[2:00:42] key to your enjoyment of it it's just a very strange movie with a lot of delightful

[2:00:49] bizarre practical effects and things that happen uh and if you like story of ricky i guarantee you

[2:00:58] will also enjoy the cat that's a solid recommendation for me steward uh stew do you have a

[2:01:05] i do i will go next i am going to recommend a movie that i don't think we've recommended on

[2:01:10] the show before it's directed by uh ridley scott and it's written by that sicko freak

[2:01:18] cormac mccarthy what a fucking nasty boy you know he's always trying to shock the squares

[2:01:26] his author photo should have him in a fucking straight jacket because he's just that twisted

[2:01:32] and he serves up another sticky slab of creepy shit in this one where a the description of the

[2:01:39] movie so this is a movie with a lot of people in it there's a big uh cast a lot of stars you got

[2:01:44] your fast bender you got your penelope cruz cameron diaz's last movie is that correct uh as

[2:01:50] of yet i believe that she's coming back she has announced okay for counselor too i hope uh javier

[2:01:56] bartem's in it yeah a bunch of people bunch of folks uh brad pitt's in it uh and the the plot

[2:02:02] description uh is a lawyer finds himself in over his head when he gets involved in drug trafficking

[2:02:08] which is true that is technically true but it is a much weirder movie than that every character

[2:02:14] every conversation is in a kind of like i like a location that is at both times like high class

[2:02:21] and also very grimy uh javier bardem is dressed insane the whole movie uh cameron diaz does have

[2:02:31] sex with a car uh it's it's it's a well i don't know it's just like a weird kind of gross movie

[2:02:38] where characters are just constantly talking about fucking and uh it does feature a really

[2:02:44] it features a chekhov's bolito which is a execution method that will slowly strangle and

[2:02:50] slice off your head uh and you know that they talk about it a bunch up front you're like oh

[2:02:55] that's weird they're going to be talking very specifically about the rules of this uh this

[2:02:59] execution device well you know that shit comes back in the end baby so the counselor uh you were

[2:03:06] a good time thank you i want to say for any any car fetishists in our audience this isn't like

[2:03:11] detain level car fucking it's more you know kind of grinding against a car but that's true i just

[2:03:17] don't want i don't want anyone to be disappointed yeah yeah thanks for thanks for heading off those

[2:03:23] angry letters right now dan yeah elliot what do you got to recommend i'm going to recommend this

[2:03:30] is a slightly qualified recommendation uh we watched this movie where a guy who is not indian

[2:03:36] played an indian person and i recently watched a movie where indian people played indian people

[2:03:41] and it's uh the tollywood movie that everyone's talking about that's right rrr uh the movie

[2:03:47] directed by ss rajamouli that tells the story the heavily fictionalized because in that none of what

[2:03:53] happens in it is true story of two real-life uh anti-british revolutionaries in uh 1920s india

[2:04:02] who uh have a um have an incredible friendship that involves lots of action scenes and the two

[2:04:09] of them torturing each other at different points and uh it's a it's a it's a just big explosive

[2:04:16] big budget indian action adventure movie uh there's a lot of fun stuff in it the action scenes

[2:04:21] are really great there's a scene where one of the characters releases a whole herd of animals

[2:04:26] to to to attack the guards at a base um it's qualified because politically the movie is

[2:04:32] problematic if you are following indian politics at all and by the end of the movie there is a

[2:04:37] a musical number that is so essentially that it's so incredibly like nationalistic that i was like

[2:04:42] wait a minute this movie kind of became propaganda at the end like this movie just just turned into

[2:04:48] nationalist propaganda so i would say um enjoy it for the action scenes there's one scene that's

[2:04:54] an entire action scene where one of the guys is on the shoulders of the other guy while they're

[2:04:58] fighting people that's uh and enjoy that aspect of it but uh please don't take it as a um as a

[2:05:04] fair look at the indian independence struggle uh it is uh politically problematic but the

[2:05:13] adventure scenes are really fun in it uh and there's some fun dancing in it too so that's rrr

[2:05:17] it's available all over the place though dubbed into hindi which is not the language

[2:05:22] and it was made in so i don't know why but i couldn't tell the difference i don't speak any

[2:05:26] of those languages then what have you got what would you like to recommend well so okay i mean

[2:05:31] you mentioned fast bender i feel like overall these three recommendations have been pretty

[2:05:37] straightforward pretty genuine i got a dumb ass one okay yeah yeah all right a movie that if you

[2:05:44] haven't watched yet i highly recommend is assassin's creed okay have you seen yeah i think

[2:05:50] we may have even done an episode i don't think we might have done it get insulted tell us that's

[2:05:55] weird but i want you to do this show in the episode i think yeah it does sound fucked up

[2:06:03] can you explain to us why we shouldn't have done it yeah i think we said in the episode i think we

[2:06:08] said in the episode anyone who likes this and is named ben is a dumb ass so i apologize for that

[2:06:13] i didn't even know yeah but so why assassin's creed why what's great about it you sit down

[2:06:20] and you hit play you are transported okay to a whole different universe oh shit all right

[2:06:31] with rules that don't necessarily apply to like our reality okay but you're so on board because

[2:06:40] it's sick all right yeah there is an amazing action it's like set in a time in history that

[2:06:48] i don't know anything about so i'm just like i'm on board for whatever i'm seeing yeah it's dusty

[2:06:54] i love it it's got tons of cool ass fighting and violence and shit you know i didn't really play

[2:07:01] the video game so i have no context but i i do love that uh there's just this weird machine that

[2:07:11] somehow through memory gets people to travel in time none of it makes sense but damn is it good

[2:07:19] okay like if you wanna there's like movies that i like where it makes you feel like you're not

[2:07:26] alive anymore when you watch it does that make sense yeah you're just like i have like floated

[2:07:31] out of my body and that's like uh you're like stumbling out of the movie theater wondering

[2:07:37] like you have to check your pockets because oh i wouldn't see this in the theater this is a theater

[2:07:42] going no but i'm saying like when you like that's the feeling of like you're you have left your body

[2:07:48] behind you have entered another realm maybe you have re-entered a different body that is not your

[2:07:52] own yes exactly um but it's it's just uh it's a blast it actually has a decent director um i think

[2:08:02] is justin curt curdsell curdsall um but it it's like beautifully shot and yeah for a video game

[2:08:10] movie it's not half bad okay i i i do like you're you're not the first guest to recommend a movie

[2:08:18] that has been also featured on an episode so that and you're not alone in liking assassin this is

[2:08:26] i've heard defenses of assassin's creed from people i trust you know we had a different

[2:08:33] experience but maybe if we weren't and there's yeah there's also there's also the argument that

[2:08:37] when we go into a movie for the purposes of the podcast it is hard that for our uh our opinion to

[2:08:44] not be colored a little bit a little bit yeah a little bit i always i would want to like it maybe

[2:08:50] we went into short circuit too with the wrong attitude and maybe that's why we didn't we didn't

[2:08:54] care for it but that's what i've been trying to go i've been trying to go into these movies lately

[2:08:58] being like what am i going to like about this movie just so that i'm not yeah going after things

[2:09:03] just for negative reasons but assassin's creed i didn't like can you guys jump from rooftop to

[2:09:09] rooftop i i can't i mean how close are the rooftops yeah that's a great distance away

[2:09:15] no no i know i couldn't do that do you have knives hidden under your sleeves no i don't i don't have

[2:09:21] no not currently dangerous so i feel like what else you need to know yeah you make a good point

[2:09:28] it's actually a pretty good point yeah and it's got assassins in the name true yep yeah creed

[2:09:35] we all love the movie creed yeah yeah and the band creed yeah

[2:09:42] you know we have familiarity there maybe you like to play assassins i think you've turned us around

[2:09:49] um you know what i'm putting i'm putting it number one on my i'm putting on my top 10 list

[2:09:55] for this year even though it didn't come out this year that's how that's how much you've convinced me

[2:10:00] Uh, this has been a lot of fun.

[2:10:03] Uh, Ben, is there anything you would like to take this moment to plug?

[2:10:07] Yes.

[2:10:08] Um, listen to blank check.

[2:10:09] I mean, if, um, you like longer, yeah, we did a big deal.

[2:10:15] I know that's crazy.

[2:10:16] I got them to wrap my nicknames, which is absurd.

[2:10:20] Yeah.

[2:10:21] Um, but, uh, yeah.

[2:10:23] So check out blank check if you want to listen to a movie

[2:10:26] podcast that goes even longer.

[2:10:28] Um, and I will, yes.

[2:10:33] Okay.

[2:10:33] Well, I'm sorry that I introduced that idea to your listeners.

[2:10:37] Um, and I will just also say, uh, coming soon.

[2:10:42] Cause I don't know exactly when this is coming out.

[2:10:44] So whatever, hopefully I'll maybe actually make the website and launch it.

[2:10:48] But I also have a fashion line.

[2:10:51] Um, so, uh, congratulations is the name.

[2:10:55] So if you go to congrats, you lations, yeah.

[2:10:59] Cause the other one was already taken.

[2:11:01] That's congrats.

[2:11:03] Why?

[2:11:04] Oh, you lations.

[2:11:06] I have, uh, various merch and dice, including buried jeans.

[2:11:12] Um, which sound exactly like what they are.

[2:11:14] Yeah, I was going to say, I'm a, I'm a listener.

[2:11:16] So I know about these buried jeans, but I didn't know that it would necessarily

[2:11:23] translate immediately to everybody.

[2:11:25] But I guess you saying, yeah, I know what, like what they are.

[2:11:28] That is the quickest and easiest, clearest way of, of saying, if you want

[2:11:34] more explanation, just go to the website and you'll see that.

[2:11:38] I mean, what, what, you know, this is beautiful because you're giving them a

[2:11:41] taste that'll make them want to go.

[2:11:44] Yeah.

[2:11:45] Uh, well, this has been fun, but yeah.

[2:11:47] Thanks for having me on though.

[2:11:48] This is a blast.

[2:11:50] Thank you for coming.

[2:11:51] And I guess, and I guess, sorry too.

[2:11:54] I should just apologize too.

[2:11:57] Sorry about that.

[2:11:58] Sorry.

[2:11:59] You're forgiven.

[2:12:00] We'll allow it.

[2:12:01] Or the flop house.

[2:12:03] I've been Dan McCoy.

[2:12:04] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[2:12:06] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[2:12:08] I'm Ben Hosley.

[2:12:10] Bye.

[2:12:11] Bye.

[2:12:12] Bye.

[2:12:18] I bought a Steely Dan album, Elliot.

[2:12:20] This is how I know that I've reached that age.

[2:12:23] You did it.

[2:12:24] What album?

[2:12:25] Uh, uh-huh.

[2:12:27] Or is it Aja?

[2:12:28] Aja.

[2:12:29] I don't know.

[2:12:29] I think it's Aja.

[2:12:30] I mean, that's a solid place to start.

[2:12:32] A-J-A.

[2:12:34] I took a stab and I stabbed wrong.

[2:12:36] I stabbed the wrong person with my Steely Dan album.

[2:12:42] They call him Steely Dan.

[2:12:43] He's the, he's a killer who stabs people with Steely Dan albums.

[2:12:46] And his name is Dan.

[2:12:47] Is he Steely?

[2:12:49] He's actually not that Steely.

[2:12:50] That's the thing.

[2:12:51] We wish he fit the band better.

[2:12:53] Yeah.

[2:12:54] He's very warm and loving.

[2:12:55] Aside from the stabbing, of course.

[2:12:58] Well, yeah.

[2:13:00] Maximumfun.org.

[2:13:02] Comedy and culture.

[2:13:04] Artist owned.

[2:13:05] Audience supported.

Episode #375 - Short Circuit 2, with Ben Hosley

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