FH Mini 60 - StuStu's Podcast Adventure

[0:00] Hey there, boils and ghouls, this is Stuart Wellington on the Flophouse podcast.

[0:08] We're doing one of those Flophouse minis this week.

[0:11] That's where we, on our off weeks, instead of doing our normal show where we watch a

[0:15] bad movie and then talk about it, we're going to be doing something a little bit different

[0:18] tonight.

[0:19] We're going to do whatever the fuck I want to do.

[0:22] Once again, I'm Stuart Wellington, and joining me, as always, are my co-hosts, who will introduce

[0:27] themselves now, Dan McCoy and Elliot Kaelin, and I want to warn everybody, this is going

[0:33] to be an extra fun episode because I have a lingering cough.

[0:36] Oh, that usually equals fun.

[0:39] So I may cough sometimes.

[0:41] Yeah.

[0:42] Sometimes when Stuart is very drunk, those are good episodes, and sometimes when Dan

[0:46] is getting over being sick, yeah, just bring some kind of strange energy out.

[0:53] For some reason, we can do all three of those at one time.

[0:56] Oh, doggie.

[0:57] Oh, wow.

[0:58] So if this is your first time listening to the show...

[1:01] What's my equivalent to you being drunk and Dan being sick?

[1:03] I think you're just kind of normally a ball of energy.

[1:07] Okay, ball of energy.

[1:09] I was worried where that sentence was going, but what I'm normally.

[1:12] You're normally a great dude.

[1:18] You have full-blown ability to make people laugh.

[1:23] Great dude-itis.

[1:24] Okay.

[1:25] I'm afraid it's a malignant case of good stuff.

[1:30] Yeah.

[1:31] If this is the first time you're tuning into the podcast, I would highly recommend turning

[1:35] this shit off and listening to a different episode.

[1:38] We have more normal episodes, yeah.

[1:40] Yes.

[1:41] This is for the real ones, the true fans.

[1:44] Uh-oh.

[1:46] Now I'm digging myself in deeper.

[1:48] Okay, so today's episode is something...

[1:51] Part of a series we call Stuart Wellington for completists only.

[1:54] Yep.

[1:56] So this is a little Flophouse Manny brought to you by Minnie's Bar and Maniac of New York.

[2:02] And this Manny has a subtitle, and that is, we are titling it, Stew Stew's Podcast Adventure.

[2:11] That's right.

[2:12] So we're going to be talking about a...

[2:15] I think everybody knows, if you know me, you know that I'm a man of many passions.

[2:19] And that's an appropriate reference to what I'm talking about today.

[2:23] I'm a man of many passions.

[2:24] The soap opera passions.

[2:25] He loves passions.

[2:26] I have many of them.

[2:27] Many seasons of passions.

[2:28] So what are some of your passions, Stew?

[2:32] Name some of your other passions.

[2:33] Yeah.

[2:34] Before we get into this specific passion, tell us in general what your passions are.

[2:38] Let's see.

[2:40] Writing PowerPoints for a live podcast with my two friends.

[2:44] Okay.

[2:45] Who are they?

[2:46] Warhammer.

[2:47] Warhammer.

[2:48] Oh, who are they?

[2:49] Okay.

[2:50] When I mentioned you should ask me questions, I didn't even realize.

[2:54] So Warhammer, I would say, what, George R. R. Martin, the books, not the shows?

[2:58] Yep.

[2:59] Wow, you're pretty good.

[3:00] Is passion fruit one of your passions?

[3:02] Because I know that you're passionate about fruit, but is passion fruit specifically...

[3:05] Yeah, that's a good question, man.

[3:06] I would like to direct your attention to the episode titled The Fruit House, where I address

[3:12] my top five favorite fruits.

[3:14] Yeah.

[3:15] And an episode that seemed to drive you both super mad.

[3:19] Yeah.

[3:20] And you said that The Passion of the Christ was a life-changing movie for you?

[3:23] It was.

[3:24] It was life-changing in that my life was different because it was slightly older.

[3:29] Yeah.

[3:30] Afterwards, you were somewhat around two hours older.

[3:34] Yeah.

[3:35] Slightly older.

[3:37] And as soon as the movie was over, you looked in a mirror and you said, but there was time

[3:40] then.

[3:41] Where did the years go?

[3:43] Where did it go?

[3:44] I looked, yeah, I looked in a mirror.

[3:46] I had a special mirror made just to show, I don't know, now I'm talking about the...

[3:50] You had a special mirror made that has a mustache painted on it in a mirror so that you look

[3:54] like an old man when you look at it.

[3:56] Yeah.

[3:57] I had to get a special mirror artist to do that for me, which I was about to start talking

[4:05] about the rehearsal on HBO Max, which I'm not going to talk about.

[4:08] That's going to be for a later thing because, oh boy, that show, woo doggy.

[4:12] Instead, I'm talking about a different show, or in fact, in this case, I'm going to be

[4:16] talking about a show and a comic book.

[4:20] I'm talking about a long-running...

[4:22] Three's Company and Mouse.

[4:27] Weird pairing, but I'm sure it'll all click into place once we see the surreal design.

[4:34] I've been reading the book Fun City Cinema recently, which Dan got me for my birthday

[4:39] last year.

[4:40] At one point, they mentioned that there was a double feature that was released where it

[4:43] was Rosemary's Baby and The Odd Couple, and it was called the greatest double feature

[4:47] ever when it was released.

[4:50] That's actually...

[4:51] Two classic New York stories on one deal.

[4:53] It's true.

[4:54] I mean, it doesn't not live up to its name.

[4:58] Okay, so what I'm talking about today is not that.

[5:01] I'm talking about something completely different.

[5:03] I'm talking about a long-running Japanese intellectual property called JoJo's Bizarre

[5:08] Adventure.

[5:10] The reason I use the term intellectual property is because it began as a serialized manga

[5:17] and has since been adapted into...

[5:19] Now, can you define manga for any of our listeners who are in 1987?

[5:23] Sure.

[5:24] So manga means Japanese comic book.

[5:29] And in fact, that's one of the things I wanted to...

[5:31] Before...

[5:32] And it's...

[5:33] In addition to being...

[5:34] It's been adapted into live action films, into original animated films, and what is

[5:40] currently going on is an ongoing animated series.

[5:46] Now, I have mentioned JoJo's Bizarre Adventure before, and I've made reference to it on previous

[5:52] episodes of the podcast, often to crickets and no response.

[5:56] Yeah.

[5:58] I mean, the problem is that we did a number of episodes that were co-hosted with several

[6:02] crickets.

[6:03] That's true.

[6:04] And it was hard for them to take part in the conversation because they have to talk by

[6:06] rubbing their wings together, I think, and crickets, write in if I'm wrong.

[6:12] And so it was hard to understand what they were saying a lot of the time.

[6:15] And I'm glad that you mentioned several because normally when you go to buy crickets from

[6:18] like a pet store or something and you're like, yeah, can I get, I don't know, like one or

[6:21] two crickets?

[6:22] They're like, sorry, dog.

[6:23] It only comes in a giant-ass box full.

[6:26] I remember when I was a kid and I had pet lizards, having to go once a week to buy a

[6:31] bag of crickets, and I would feed the lizards one cricket each a day.

[6:35] But it meant that I had a bag of crickets just in my room all the time.

[6:39] You know what?

[6:40] You know what I remember?

[6:41] My brother had like, also had lizards, and we would walk along the side of the driveway.

[6:49] Like we would walk along the grass on the side of the driveway.

[6:52] Because if you stepped, like sometimes crickets would jump out onto the driveway where they

[6:57] were easy to pick up and catch.

[7:00] And in retrospect, this memory feels like a memory of a time when there were still bugs

[7:08] in the world.

[7:09] Like when climate change hadn't like so scorched the earth that like, I just don't think that

[7:16] if I like went home right now and I walked along a driveway, there'd be enough crickets

[7:21] to feed a pet.

[7:22] Lizard, that's what I'm saying.

[7:23] I think you need to move to California, Dan, because I'm constantly finding bugs and spiders

[7:27] in my house.

[7:28] Yeah.

[7:29] Lizards, Lizards, write in and tell Dan if you have seen a bug recently.

[7:33] I mean, I'm not saying there aren't bugs around.

[7:36] Tell Dan where the good cricket hunting is.

[7:38] I'm aware.

[7:39] Oh, weird.

[7:40] We got a bunch of letters from Michael Shannon's character from the movie Bug.

[7:44] He says he's seen a million of them.

[7:46] He says they're under his skin right now.

[7:50] So he hasn't seen them then, but he feels them.

[7:52] Dan, I have this image now of you and your brothers wearing orange hunting vests and

[7:55] hunting caps creeping along the driveway.

[7:58] Yes, they should be very, very quiet, quiet.

[8:01] Well, hunting crickets, pith helmets.

[8:04] Yeah.

[8:05] Yeah.

[8:06] OK, so so from the sounds of it, you guys, do you do you have any understanding of what

[8:11] Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is about?

[8:13] What it is?

[8:14] I mean, I based a lot on your recommendation.

[8:17] I started reading the manga and I quickly found it was not quite for me.

[8:22] OK, well, I know we're going to find out more about that.

[8:26] We'll dig into that.

[8:27] Audrey has watched it.

[8:29] I didn't watch it with her.

[8:30] I assume it is about a man named Jojo and the bizarre adventure or adventures that he

[8:37] has.

[8:38] Yeah.

[8:39] Yeah.

[8:40] Well, Jojo is it was a man who thought he was a something, but he let it all something

[8:46] something.

[8:48] I don't know what he says in the study, but I know he's left his home in Tucson, Arizona

[8:52] for something.

[8:53] First, California grass.

[8:55] Yeah.

[8:56] Which is at this point, the California grass is all dying.

[8:58] There's a big drought.

[8:59] So Jojo, don't come here for grass.

[9:00] Go to the East Coast where there's plenty of water.

[9:03] Not likely, but anyway, do you guys do you guys have much experience with manga or what?

[9:14] Like watching long running animated series series?

[9:18] I will say.

[9:19] Yeah, sure.

[9:20] I'll say yes.

[9:21] There you go.

[9:22] Give me some examples.

[9:23] Give me some examples.

[9:24] Well, I don't have to.

[9:25] As I said, no, Dan doesn't Dan doesn't have to.

[9:28] I haven't.

[9:29] I guess I haven't watched.

[9:30] Do they have to be long running Japanese animated shows?

[9:33] Yes.

[9:34] And I guess you know what?

[9:35] I haven't watched too many of that because like Cowboy Bebop is not that long a series.

[9:40] But that's a good example.

[9:44] But that was, you know, when I was in college, I used my roommate and I used to watch a lot

[9:47] of Cowboy Bebop.

[9:48] I've read and I've read plenty of manga in my time.

[9:53] You know, look, if Katsuhiro Otomo is doing it, I'll read it.

[9:57] Yeah, I mean, he's the master.

[10:00] It's the best.

[10:00] Yeah.

[10:01] Okay, so we're gonna jump right in

[10:04] and we're going to talk now.

[10:06] The thing about my experience with JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

[10:09] is in no way am I an expert,

[10:10] so I'm not gonna get everything right.

[10:12] I describe myself as an enthusiastic amateur

[10:16] or I don't know.

[10:19] And my first exposure was to the OVA,

[10:26] which is another term for like an animated movie

[10:29] basically that's broken up into parts

[10:31] that came out in the 90s.

[10:33] No, an OVA involves the production of eggs.

[10:37] Oh, okay, interesting.

[10:38] So I got that totally wrong.

[10:39] I biffed it.

[10:40] Add that one to my biff column.

[10:42] Put it in the goofs page for Stuart Wellington on IMDb.

[10:45] Put that in my biffs.

[10:47] And so I watched the original animation from the 90s

[10:53] that's based on the third part, aka Stardust Crusaders.

[10:57] And I loved it.

[10:58] I thought it was great.

[10:59] I watched it a bunch of times.

[11:00] I think I recommended it on the show years ago.

[11:01] It's awesome.

[11:03] And then years later, I was looking for some comics to read

[11:06] and I'm like, you know what, fuck it.

[11:07] Why don't I read it?

[11:08] Why don't I go back?

[11:09] I like this.

[11:10] Let me go back and start from the beginning.

[11:12] So I read the first couple,

[11:13] I read the first three series as a manga.

[11:18] And then after that,

[11:20] they didn't have all the manga's translator

[11:23] put out in these fancy hardbacks.

[11:25] So I started watching the animation.

[11:26] So there's, for series four and five,

[11:31] I only watched the show.

[11:33] So it's gonna be, my experience might be a little different.

[11:36] I might know things as one way or another way

[11:40] just to give people a little background.

[11:41] Stuart, you definitely know things.

[11:43] I'm like, don't be so hard on yourself.

[11:45] Yeah, and he's seen things.

[11:46] He's seen things he can never forget.

[11:48] Yeah, exactly.

[11:50] It's a surprise that I haven't torn my eyeballs out.

[11:53] Yeah, yeah.

[11:54] It's amazing that Sam Neill got so much acting work

[11:57] after he tore his own eyeballs out

[11:59] because he's a method actor.

[12:00] He does his own stunts.

[12:01] Well, where he was going,

[12:02] he didn't need eyes anymore, is the thing.

[12:05] And where he was going was the Borgias.

[12:08] So he didn't end the hunt for the wilder people

[12:10] and he didn't need eyes for those, I guess, yeah.

[12:12] It's similar to how Christopher Lloyd got jobs

[12:16] after he threw away all the roads that were created

[12:20] because they didn't need roads in the future.

[12:23] In a way, I wish we didn't need roads

[12:26] because the United States infrastructure

[12:28] is falling to pieces.

[12:29] And preach, brother.

[12:30] Let's pedestrianize this whole country.

[12:32] Walk end to end just like Forrest Gump.

[12:34] He showed us the way.

[12:35] Yeah, suck it, Robert Moses.

[12:37] Is this, yeah, he should, thank you, yes.

[12:40] Here's something that a lot of people

[12:42] don't mention in the goofs column.

[12:43] At the end of Back to the Future,

[12:44] he says, where we're going, we don't need roads.

[12:46] When you see the future in Back to the Future Part II,

[12:47] there are lots of roads.

[12:50] Yeah, it's fucking nasty with them.

[12:51] It seems like when you're flying,

[12:53] it's not like you can just fly wherever.

[12:55] There are like specific flight paths

[12:56] that are basically sky roads.

[12:58] Yeah, that's a very good point.

[13:00] That's a very good point.

[13:00] That's actually a good point.

[13:01] I'm starting to think this guy who invented time travel

[13:04] after hitting his head on the sink

[13:05] when he was standing on the toilet

[13:07] might not have it all together.

[13:08] Yeah, I don't trust him.

[13:10] Okay, so we're gonna jump right in.

[13:13] I'm gonna explain a little bit about JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

[13:16] We're gonna jump right in.

[13:18] We're gonna raw dog it.

[13:19] I'm gonna talk a little bit about JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

[13:22] There will be some mild spoilers,

[13:24] but I hope that at the end,

[13:26] you will understand a little bit

[13:27] of why I love this property.

[13:30] Okay.

[13:31] Okay, so I put together

[13:32] a little bit of a slideshow for you guys

[13:34] so you guys can see some of the beauty

[13:36] of what I'm talking about.

[13:38] Let's pull this shit up

[13:39] and I'm gonna start slideshow over here.

[13:42] Now, we have this first slide

[13:44] and this is the introduction.

[13:45] This is the first part of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

[13:48] Now, something you have to understand

[13:50] is that there are multiple JoJo's

[13:52] and there are many Bizarre Adventures

[13:54] and it's broken up into different series

[13:56] and it kind of follows roughly

[13:59] multiple generations of the Joestar family.

[14:02] Now, Joestar, of course, is a traditional family name,

[14:05] a Liverpudlian family name.

[14:07] Let me start my slideshow.

[14:11] I mean, that would explain why the Beatles

[14:13] have a song about a guy named JoJo.

[14:15] That's absolutely true.

[14:17] And in fact, you're also going to see

[14:19] through some of the naming conventions

[14:21] that the creator of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure,

[14:24] Hiroki Araki, is a huge fan of rock and roll

[14:28] and pop music because he is not too careful

[14:32] at disguising some of his favorite bands

[14:35] and singers and songs.

[14:36] Now, are you gonna get into,

[14:37] I assume at some point, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

[14:39] crosses over with JoJo Rabbit

[14:40] for the larger JoJoverse for JoJo No Way Home?

[14:43] Uh-huh, exactly, yeah.

[14:45] It crosses over.

[14:47] There has been an argument in the case of that.

[14:50] Well, we'll talk about this later.

[14:52] Okay, we'll actually get into that

[14:53] when we get into part three, Stardust Crusaders.

[14:55] So we're gonna talk first about part one,

[14:57] that is Phantom Blood.

[14:59] And right here, we have this first slide.

[15:00] This is from the opening of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

[15:03] And our story opens in 1880 in Liverpool.

[15:08] Now, which one of these guys is JoJo that I see here?

[15:13] That's a very good question.

[15:15] The fellow on the right with the dark hair

[15:18] is Jonathan Joestar.

[15:21] And he's holding a book

[15:22] and he's got a little red bow tie, very thick neck.

[15:25] I gotta- Both of these guys

[15:26] are very billy.

[15:27] Yeah, they're beefcakes.

[15:28] I gotta object to the way this gentleman

[15:30] is dressed with the purple hair

[15:32] because not only, so there's a,

[15:37] he's wearing a dress shirt with a bow tie

[15:39] and then over that appears to be

[15:41] some sort of v-neck sweater or sweater vest

[15:44] that's paisley.

[15:45] And then over that, there is a vest.

[15:49] And then over that- It's like a corset vest.

[15:50] It doesn't cover his whole chest.

[15:51] There is sort of a smoking jacket cape.

[15:56] And I think that it's a lot of things going on.

[15:58] Liverpool is very cold.

[16:00] There's a lot of styles happening here.

[16:03] They should call it JoJo's Bizarre Lairing.

[16:05] Yes.

[16:06] Well, I'm glad that you're pointing out

[16:09] some of these style choices

[16:10] because one of the great things about this series

[16:13] is the, I guess, the fashion-forward element

[16:18] of the characters.

[16:19] Now, standing over Jonathan Joestar's shoulder

[16:23] is Dio Brando.

[16:25] Now, Dio Brando is his adopted brother.

[16:29] Okay.

[16:30] Dio Brando's father saved Jonathan's father's life

[16:35] after a carriage accident

[16:37] that took the life of Jonathan's mother.

[16:40] So he adopted this poor kid, Dio Brando,

[16:43] and brought him into the family.

[16:44] Now, and the whole part of this story arc

[16:47] is kind of the conflict between Dio and Jonathan.

[16:52] Now, Jonathan's our hero,

[16:54] so of course he has nothing particularly interesting

[16:57] about him.

[16:58] He's big and tough and smart.

[17:00] Dio, on the other hand-

[17:01] If I'm remembering from reading the comic,

[17:03] he is incredibly naive.

[17:05] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[17:07] And Dio, on the other hand, is immediately evil.

[17:11] He like beats up a dog early on.

[17:15] He kisses Jonathan's sweetheart.

[17:18] He turns all of Jonathan's friends against him.

[17:21] They fight quite a bit.

[17:23] And as you can see, Dio's also holding there,

[17:25] he's holding this stone mask.

[17:28] And now that stone mask is gonna be pretty important

[17:30] because in the course of their struggles,

[17:34] they find out this stone mask is an Aztec artifact,

[17:38] and it somehow, when blood is splashed on it,

[17:43] it awakens, and if attached to a person,

[17:45] turns them into a vampire.

[17:47] Okay, that counts as a bizarre adventure.

[17:49] Who says, smoking!

[17:51] Right?

[17:52] He says, it would be appropriate,

[17:54] or he'd say, at least somebody stop me,

[17:57] which somebody should stop him.

[17:58] And that somebody is Jonathan Joestar.

[18:00] Now-

[18:02] When Jim Carrey says, somebody stop me,

[18:04] does that mean that that whole movie is a cry for help?

[18:06] Yes, in many ways.

[18:08] Well, he's a murderer.

[18:09] I feel like that's a part of the appeal of Jim Carrey

[18:12] is there's clearly sadness behind his eyes.

[18:14] Very much so, yeah, like Will Ferrell, yeah.

[18:17] So wait, he's a murderer, you mean the mask or Jim Carrey?

[18:22] Well, I think the mask just sort of brings out

[18:24] what's inside you, as we see in the movie, The Mask.

[18:27] Like, you know, when the bad guy gets it,

[18:29] he just turns into a big, like, tough guy

[18:30] who, like, spits out bullets.

[18:32] But when Jim Carrey, you know,

[18:34] who watches tech-savory cartoons,

[18:37] yeah, he turns into, like, a wolf.

[18:40] He turns into a real cherry-popping daddy.

[18:43] And the dog just pees all over everything, right?

[18:45] That's the worst kind of daddy, the worst kind of daddy.

[18:47] By far.

[18:47] Worst kind, yeah.

[18:50] And nobody knows what happens

[18:52] when Jamie Kennedy puts on the mask,

[18:53] because no one saw that movie,

[18:54] not even the people who made it.

[18:56] It's a mystery.

[18:58] That's what the experiment was.

[19:01] If you watch that movie,

[19:02] write in and tell us that you did

[19:04] and that you're a real person.

[19:05] And if you're Jamie Kennedy or not.

[19:08] You're not a real person.

[19:09] Sorry, Jamie.

[19:11] Sorry, Jamie.

[19:13] As I said, the conflict between Jonathan Joestar

[19:17] and Dio Brando is central to this.

[19:21] Dio is trying to get Jonathan's father's fortune.

[19:23] He's trying to somehow get his father

[19:25] to leave his entire fortune to him.

[19:28] And in the process, he poisons Jonathan's father slowly.

[19:32] And then when his evil deeds are revealed,

[19:37] he puts on the mask, becomes an immoral vampire.

[19:42] And the rest of the series is Jonathan

[19:46] trying to defeat a evil, super powerful vampire dude

[19:51] who kills everything.

[19:52] It's a very gory kind of horror forward story.

[19:56] And he doesn't do it on his own.

[19:58] He enlists the help of some friends.

[20:00] Let's go to the next slide.

[20:01] Okay.

[20:02] We have two more Victorian gentlemen on the left.

[20:06] We have Eddie from the don't come around here.

[20:08] No more video.

[20:09] Yeah.

[20:10] Now it's funny that you bring up Tom Petty because that actually

[20:14] is a he's a like a gutter born criminal named Robert E.

[20:22] O Speedwagon.

[20:24] Oh, wow.

[20:26] Okay, who you know, he's like a he's a rapscallion type.

[20:32] He becomes an important figure in the whole universe.

[20:35] He eventually forms a foundation that pays for the Joestars

[20:40] family's fight against evil and on the right is another gentleman.

[20:44] This is William Zeppoli who is an Italian martial arts master

[20:51] sure who can harness the power of Ham on which involves some

[20:57] kind of like careful breathing.

[20:59] Yeah, just ham the power of ham.

[21:03] It's spelled very similarly.

[21:05] It's it's it's one of those like common.

[21:08] I feel like it's a common thing in martial arts.

[21:11] It's like martial arts fantasy stories to use ham and to use

[21:14] like like breath control like breath controls like an all-purpose

[21:19] like if you can control your breathing you can in this case.

[21:22] It's it gives you like the power of life, which is the opposite

[21:26] of Dio's power of death.

[21:29] You can obviously you can describe these gentlemen.

[21:31] They're they're both wearing top hats.

[21:34] They are flashy dressers checkerboard top hats very common back

[21:38] then Zeppoli's got the longest cuffs in the world with three

[21:45] cufflinks on the outside per cuff and big guns very muscular arms.

[21:51] They're all kind of dressed like circus performers from like a

[21:55] rock-and-roll traveling freak concert circus, you know, like it

[21:59] like every time a band like Marilyn Manson did like a circus

[22:02] theme. I feel like these would be like the ringmasters, you know,

[22:05] exactly and that's exactly how you'd imagine a martial arts

[22:10] mastered from Italy to dress now the Jonathan is it an Italian

[22:17] form of martial arts where he went to the east to learn martial

[22:20] arts, but he's from Italy, you know, I'm trying to remember

[22:23] because it was a while since I read this one, but I feel like

[22:27] it's a Karen.

[22:28] I he learned it from a master who will be introduced in the next

[22:32] segment.

[22:33] Okay, but it's it's like a I don't it's his like goal to defeat

[22:38] like destroy the mask and the creatures that created this stone

[22:42] mask.

[22:43] So I don't maybe it comes from like the Aztec people.

[22:46] I don't know maybe I mean he doesn't have to worry about destroying

[22:48] the mask the sequel pretty much did that the franchise is dead

[22:51] in the water.

[22:52] That's true.

[22:54] So Jonathan and his friends as as we said fight do do are raises

[22:59] an army of zombies and the obviously one of the highlights, of

[23:05] course, you're in the 1880s.

[23:08] They got a definitely fight a zombie version of Jack the Ripper.

[23:12] Oh, I thought I was going to say going to going to the going to

[23:16] the big exposition at the Crystal Palace where they had those

[23:18] dinosaur statues.

[23:20] Uh-huh.

[23:21] They didn't do that.

[23:22] That would have been a great idea.

[23:23] Oh, okay.

[23:24] The bad in the in a in a final act of sacrifice Jonathan defeats

[23:30] do but he sacrificed himself and he but he's going to live on

[23:35] through his unborn child thus ensuring that we have another

[23:39] generation and we have another Bizarre Adventure on our hands.

[23:43] So let's move to the next slide guys do it.

[23:45] Can't wait to see if okay.

[23:47] This is this is the next slide.

[23:48] This is the you're looking at the cover of the first issue of the

[23:52] comics.

[23:52] This is for Jojo's Bizarre Adventure part two titled battle

[23:57] tendency and so and who's this guy who's who's incredibly ripped

[24:03] and his shirt can't even cover his abs.

[24:05] That's how I mean, he's lifting his arms up.

[24:07] I guess you're going to see a common style choice that many of

[24:10] these characters their shirts cannot cover their abs and there's

[24:14] a lot of straps similarly their gloves cannot cover their fingers

[24:19] now.

[24:19] So the the gentleman on at right in front that's going to be this

[24:25] series Jojo that is Joseph Joestar the grandson of Jonathan

[24:31] Joestar.

[24:31] Okay, so the Joestar family continues.

[24:33] So Jonathan's son didn't do much of anything the adventures

[24:36] skipped a generation not.

[24:38] Yeah, I think I I believe the unborn child in this case was a

[24:41] daughter actually.

[24:42] Oh, okay Stewart.

[24:43] I will say that I've seen Josephine Joestar could still have

[24:46] adventures.

[24:47] Anyway, Dan continue.

[24:48] I've seen I will I've seen comic covers that are clearer to interpret

[24:54] than this one.

[24:55] It is like I'm not quite sure not not comic book covers by Dave

[24:59] McKean.

[25:00] There's that's that's true.

[25:02] It looks like we are looking at like a face through sort of the

[25:07] facets of a big diamond or something like yeah.

[25:10] Yeah, it's almost or like there's rays of light coming out from

[25:13] Jojo that are obscuring the figures in the back who is doing a

[25:16] real glamour pose with both of his arms above his head and he

[25:22] is so he can see his abs.

[25:25] Yeah in the back in the in the scintillating light that seems

[25:28] to be radiating out from Joseph Joestar.

[25:31] You you can see images of this series fill-ins which we'll talk

[25:37] about in a second.

[25:38] So this series takes place much later.

[25:41] It takes place in the 1930s.

[25:45] From the way that he was dressed what was his tank top with

[25:48] straps and his fingerless glove gauntlets.

[25:51] Yeah, it looks kind of like a Rob Liefeld character.

[25:56] He does if Rob Liefeld was cool.

[26:00] Actually.

[26:00] Yeah, you know trees made some good stuff.

[26:02] I mean, it's like a Rob Liefeld character in that we don't see

[26:04] his feet because the image cuts off at the waist.

[26:07] That's actually true.

[26:08] Yeah, but he doesn't have enough pouches.

[26:11] Yeah.

[26:11] Oh, no, not all straps without pouches.

[26:12] That's a that's a Liefeld.

[26:13] No.

[26:14] No.

[26:14] So 1930s.

[26:15] What's what kind of guy is he?

[26:16] Is that your alified?

[26:18] No.

[26:18] No of the week, by the way, Elliot.

[26:20] Yeah, that is.

[26:21] Yeah.

[26:21] Thank you.

[26:21] That is that's my LFI.

[26:23] Thank you for reminding me of my LFI.

[26:24] No.

[26:25] The LFI.

[26:25] No.

[26:26] No this week is if you're going to have straps put some pouches

[26:28] on them.

[26:29] What are your heroes going to carry things in?

[26:31] We don't know what they're carrying in the pouches.

[26:33] We don't need to know probably subway tokens and lipstick, but

[26:36] your heroes need straps with pouches.

[26:38] That's the Liefeld.

[26:39] No.

[26:39] No and my LFI.

[26:40] No.

[26:40] No for the week.

[26:41] Thank you.

[26:42] So this series Jojo is he's a globetrotting Adventurer like

[26:47] you'd imagine.

[26:49] He's he's working on behalf of the Speedwagon Foundation Speedway

[26:54] REO Speedwagon is still alive, but he he's an old man and he

[27:00] is dealing with some Nazi problems.

[27:04] We all the the focus of this story is the creators the race

[27:11] of beings that created that vampire mask from the first series

[27:15] are a group of four immortal beings that are found in stone

[27:22] pillars in the Aztec ruins these four Pillar men.

[27:27] Let's advance so we can see what they look like.

[27:29] Yeah.

[27:30] Yes, please.

[27:30] I love this.

[27:31] Oh, they look like all the other characters.

[27:33] They look exactly like all the other characters.

[27:36] So these four immortal beings that are let's say roughly

[27:40] humanoid.

[27:42] They they I mean, they're pretty humanoid.

[27:45] They're pretty human.

[27:46] They're just big buff dudes.

[27:47] Who?

[27:47] Yeah, they look like any comic and they have lines on them that

[27:50] I can't tell if they are scars or stitching like they're right

[27:54] out of canvas like they're rotten men.

[27:56] That's like two shadows.

[27:58] So these are the four Pillar men.

[28:00] They are immortal beings that are seeking to become the ultimate

[28:05] being and in order to do that, they need to both they need to

[28:07] combine one of these stone masks with a rare red gem called

[28:12] the stone of Aja for all you Steely Dan fans out there.

[28:18] I don't get that reference.

[28:19] I don't understand.

[28:20] These four Pillar men are named Santana, Wamuu, ACDC, and

[28:27] Kars. Now of those four, which one do you think is the most

[28:31] powerful guys?

[28:32] Just based on the name.

[28:33] ACDC.

[28:34] It's gotta be, right?

[28:35] Dan, what do you think?

[28:36] I would say AC, I mean like Kars is probably my favorite band

[28:40] of those.

[28:40] But yeah, ACDC is probably the most powerful.

[28:43] I gotta surprise you guys.

[28:44] It's Kars is by far the most powerful.

[28:47] Really?

[28:48] That's surprising.

[28:51] And so this series.

[28:52] But I like it.

[28:53] So you don't have to tell me which one is which, but I like

[28:54] that they all seem to have kind of boy band personalities.

[28:56] One guy, that one guy with the kind of white headdress is

[28:59] clearly the sensitive one and the guy with the other guy in

[29:03] the middle is like the seductive one.

[29:04] The one with the black head wrap.

[29:05] He's the leader and the one in the back.

[29:07] He's kind of like the bad boy bruiser.

[29:09] He's the one who's like a little bit less articulate, you

[29:11] know, you wonder which fan is going to like that one because

[29:14] he's all about breaking stuff, but he's got his fans.

[29:17] He's got his fans.

[29:18] That's the thing about boy bands and also characters from

[29:21] JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, which any group of characters from

[29:25] this series are a lot like boy bands.

[29:28] So the focus of this series is Joseph Joestar's struggle

[29:33] against these immortal beings that are almost impossible to

[29:36] defeat. In fact, he gets in a fight with them and they they

[29:41] beat him so badly and he's like, don't kill me yet.

[29:44] Give me a month to get more powerful.

[29:46] Let me give me a month to train and then I'll give you a real

[29:49] fight and these Pillar Men are like, you know what?

[29:52] Fuck it.

[29:53] Let's do it.

[29:53] Let's I want a real fight.

[29:55] Incredibly lenient, an incredible opportunity on the

[29:57] Pillar Men, very sportsman-like.

[30:00] on there. They put magic-binding poison rings around his heart and throat that after a month

[30:09] they will dissolve and kill him. So he has to defeat them in battle and the only way

[30:13] you can get the antidote is from their nose rings and lip rings, respectively. So of course

[30:19] he has to go train and let's move on. Let's see his teacher. That's right. Let's advance

[30:23] to the next slide. That's his teacher, Lisa Lisa. She's a Hamon master. That's right.

[30:28] We're talking about breath control again. It still sounds like it's based around ham.

[30:33] Yep, it's based around ham, the magical life-giving force of breath control. He fights these mortal

[30:43] beings. From Lisa Lisa, I'm getting big Carmen Sandiego vibes. She's a mysterious woman.

[30:51] She has very big shoulder pads. Yeah, she's great. It's awesome. Her arms seem to be the

[30:58] length of her body, but they're bent at the elbows, so it's hard to tell. It's perspective,

[31:02] dude. Wait, she's holding her waist. Wait a minute. This is this is interesting because

[31:10] I just listened to the recent there was a I listened to the podcast. It's called the

[31:18] hit parade. It's a slate podcast and they had a an episode on I forget what the name

[31:27] of the style of music it was. No, it was why to go. No, I questions. No, there's a there's

[31:40] a type of music that Lisa Lisa Lisa and cult jam. The band was a part of this wave of freestyle

[31:49] freestyle. That was what it was. And I was like, oh, I'm listening to this podcast. Let

[31:56] me Google Lisa Lisa. And half of it was these Jojo's Manga characters. Yeah. And so I don't

[32:09] think that's the band Lisa Lisa and cult jam that I'm looking at. It seems to be a

[32:15] large muscular woman from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. But so this is this is it's interesting that

[32:23] you did this. It provides the second half the resolution to a mystery that was in my

[32:29] brain like, why does this why does this character have the same name as this band? It seems

[32:36] like everyone has the name of bands and Jojo. So, oh, oh, you you're you're buckle up, buddy.

[32:44] So so this once again, these these first two parts are fairly straightforward. We have

[32:49] like a Victorian horror action adventure and then like a globetrotting action horror adventure

[32:55] against immortal monsters. OK, now we're about to get to the two main genres. Yeah. Before

[33:03] we jump into the third part, which is where I feel like this series really kicks off,

[33:07] like really the heart of Jojo's. I feel like Dan has some words from one of our sponsors.

[33:12] That's true. You know what? The Flophouse is sponsored mostly by listeners like you

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[37:04] Stuart, back to you. Okay, now let's get into series three of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Let's

[37:11] do it. Stardust Crusaders. Why don't you guys advance the slide so we can see. You're looking

[37:14] at the cover of the first issue of Stardust Crusaders there. Oh, so many hearts. Oh boy.

[37:22] Yeah, so as you can see, there's some very specific design choices. And on right there,

[37:27] you see this series, JoJo. That's Jotaro Kujo, the grandson of Joseph Joestar. Kujo?

[37:36] Jotaro Kujo, he's the Japanese grandson of Joseph Joestar. And he, this is the,

[37:46] finally we have a JoJo that actually has a little bit of personality. Jotaro is clearly. In volume

[37:52] three. In volume three. Well, where's the previous cable shows? You just got to stick with

[37:59] it through the first couple of seasons and then it gets really good. In a lot of ways, it's like

[38:03] succession. I'm waiting for someone to be like, stick through the first three seasons, but in the

[38:08] last episode of the fourth season, it really gets good. How many seasons are there? Four seasons.

[38:12] That's the last one. Actually, I'm a firm believer that if at any point you are intrigued by what I'm

[38:21] talking about, I would highly recommend starting with series three, or I think with the animated

[38:27] series, they actually condense the first two into just the first season. So just start with Stardust

[38:33] Crusaders because this is where this kind of defines the series. Maybe that's what I should

[38:38] have done because I started reading the first volume and I did find the personalitylessness

[38:43] of the original Joe Prime to be a little off. It reminded me a lot of the Nathaniel West book

[38:55] called A Cool Million, in which the joke of it is just that these two characters who are

[39:02] naive, optimistic Americans of the type that you would see in novels around the turn of the century

[39:06] in the 20th century, just terrible things happen to them one scene after another, just horrible

[39:10] things. And they're always really naive and idealistic and optimistic. And I was like,

[39:14] oh, this Jojo guy reminds me of this, but it's like, I don't know where this story is going or

[39:19] what's going on. So Stardust Crusaders is the one. Stardust Crusaders is where you should start

[39:24] because this is the series where they fight. You might as well call it Stardust Crusade Here's.

[39:30] They really should have. There's no law against it. The most notable addition at this point is

[39:37] they introduced the idea of the stand. Now, the stand stands are like magic powers that select

[39:47] individuals have. It's like like a mutant power or superpower, but it's some kind of a power that

[39:54] only other people who have a stand can see. And it's usually represented by.

[40:00] by some kind of like anthropomorphized figure of some kind.

[40:06] As you can see on the image on the right,

[40:08] we see Jotaro with his stand, Star Platinum.

[40:13] So describe it, it's kind of like a bluish purplish,

[40:16] what, armored figure with long hair

[40:18] and he's got gloves covered in frog eggs

[40:20] or some kind of brown bobber.

[40:21] Looks like a wrestler, yeah, looks like a wrestler.

[40:24] Okay.

[40:25] And he's just kind of jumping out of JoJo

[40:28] in a flurry of Japanese lettering.

[40:30] Yeah, so these stands are something

[40:32] that the stand user can summon

[40:34] and provide some kind of magic power.

[40:38] In this case, Jotaro, Star Platinum,

[40:41] moves super fast and punches things super hard.

[40:44] Okay.

[40:45] And if they're called a stand-

[40:46] I don't remember him in the book, The Stand.

[40:48] Dan, I-

[40:49] He's not, but you should check.

[40:51] I'll go, Dan, can you guys wait a second

[40:52] while I go check my unabridged version

[40:55] of Stephen King's The Stand?

[40:56] Oh, God.

[40:57] Okay.

[40:58] This'll take a while.

[40:58] Part one, chapter one, everyone was feeling sick.

[41:01] Ugh, I'm feeling so sick.

[41:02] I guess it's some kind of virus or something.

[41:04] That's not good.

[41:05] I'm almost 100% sure it more likely starts

[41:09] with some kind of like 50s bullshit

[41:11] or like some kind of slurring.

[41:13] Yeah, baby, you love your man lyrics.

[41:16] A description of a classic car.

[41:20] So, Jotaro, as I said, he-

[41:22] I mean, if it makes you feel better,

[41:23] there definitely are scenes of a teenage boy masturbating

[41:27] and then letting the semen just kind of dry

[41:28] into a scale on his belly.

[41:30] There's a lot of that in Stephen King books, too.

[41:32] Doesn't happen in JoJo's, but I haven't read it all yet.

[41:35] So-

[41:36] The baby's adventure is not that bizarre.

[41:38] As I said, Jotaro is kind of a bad boy.

[41:41] He's sassy, but he's a little bit smart.

[41:45] He doesn't like authority.

[41:46] He also has hair that kind of clips

[41:48] through the back of his hat, which is really cool.

[41:50] Cool.

[41:51] He is, in all ways, he's the coolest dude.

[41:55] Okay.

[41:56] And he goes on a globetrotting adventure

[41:59] against an immortal vampire.

[42:01] That's right, Dio's back.

[42:03] And when Dio came back, he awoken the stands

[42:06] in a number of different individuals.

[42:09] So Dio is sending stand-powered individuals

[42:13] who he has brainwashed to fight them.

[42:15] And then, of course, they turn them over to their own-

[42:18] You know, it's one of those things where they like

[42:20] get in a fight, and by the end, they're friends again.

[42:22] And then they join up their team.

[42:23] So let's go ahead and-

[42:24] So he's causing people to literally stand

[42:25] in the place where they live.

[42:27] Exactly.

[42:28] I'll have to exam that statement.

[42:30] So let's go to the next panel.

[42:31] This is some fan art where we have,

[42:33] this is our team, this is our globetrotting adventure.

[42:36] I hate to say it, I kind of like the fan art.

[42:37] Yeah, the fan art is a little less busy, I would say.

[42:43] See, I think you're ignoring the appeal.

[42:47] Okay.

[42:48] I think you're ignoring the appeal of the poses

[42:51] that could never be reproduced by a human body.

[42:54] So as we can see, this is Jotaro, Kakyoin,

[42:58] Polnareff in the middle, he's the silly bad boy.

[43:02] There's a lot of bad boys.

[43:03] You have Avdol, and then on the far left,

[43:06] on the far left, that's right, you have Joseph Joestar,

[43:10] the hero from the previous series.

[43:13] Grandpa Jo comes along to help.

[43:16] So they travel around the world in Willy Wonka.

[43:20] It's a lot like Willy Wonka.

[43:21] So Willy Wonka, I didn't realize,

[43:23] Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

[43:24] is an unofficial prequel, I guess,

[43:26] or I guess it takes place in between volumes

[43:28] of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

[43:29] I would argue all those,

[43:31] and all those characters dress appropriately.

[43:35] Yeah, it's an Ario Speedwagon,

[43:36] was dressed kind of Wonka-ish, yeah.

[43:40] There's a guy here who has straps on his pants

[43:45] in such a way as to sort of like emphasize his area.

[43:49] Like they go-

[43:50] Yeah, yeah, it's like a codpiece over his pants.

[43:52] No, but they're like straps that go where,

[43:54] as Stuart would put it, the cum gutters go,

[43:57] to sort of like, you know, like pull it-

[43:59] Don't put words in Stu's mouth,

[44:00] especially not those words.

[44:01] Pull it taut over the Buffalo area,

[44:05] as they would say on Mystery Science Theater.

[44:08] Yeah, it's, well, so that's Muhammad Avdol.

[44:12] His, of course, his stand is Magician Red,

[44:16] because as you've already pieced together,

[44:19] all the stands, at least initially,

[44:22] are all themed around the major arcana of the tarot.

[44:27] I had guessed, yeah.

[44:27] It makes a lot of sense, right?

[44:30] You didn't even need to say it, because-

[44:32] But you look at these characters and you're like-

[44:33] Way ahead of you, way ahead of you.

[44:36] You look at these characters and you're like,

[44:37] they're dressed pretty crazy.

[44:40] Well, again, this is very reserved for this series.

[44:43] These are, this is very normal style.

[44:45] So let's move on to the next.

[44:46] So they got to fight an enemy,

[44:48] and that enemy, of course, is Dio Brando, a mortal vampire.

[44:52] Let's look at his next panel.

[44:53] That's what Dio looks like now.

[44:54] So his belt buckle and also his knee pads

[44:57] are all in the shape of enormous hearts.

[44:59] Yep, because he's got style.

[45:01] And standing over his shoulder, that's right,

[45:03] Dio has a stand as well.

[45:05] His stand, The World.

[45:08] The World.

[45:09] What's The World's power?

[45:11] Other than also having heart-shaped knee pads.

[45:12] Like the Earth?

[45:13] Like the World World?

[45:15] Well, you know, the card, The World,

[45:17] the major icon of the world.

[45:20] And in fact, his, it takes them,

[45:22] so one of the exciting things about stands

[45:25] is that we're talking, they routinely run into situations

[45:29] where they have to fight these super powered individuals

[45:32] who have some kind of superpower.

[45:33] And every time it almost becomes a,

[45:37] they have to like figure out what their enemy's power is.

[45:41] Whereas I was used to like Western superhero comics

[45:43] where like somebody will show up and I'm like,

[45:45] I'm the master of, you know, shooting webs out of my hands

[45:48] or I'm gonna cover you in glue

[45:50] and then I'll drive forever, Spider-Man.

[45:53] In this stuff, the stand users are like,

[45:56] I am not gonna tell you shit

[45:58] because as soon as you know what my powers are,

[46:00] you'll be able to defeat me.

[46:02] So a lot of it is like trial and error

[46:04] and figuring it out.

[46:05] And luckily we got a Jotaro Kujo who's super smart

[46:09] as well as being sassy and super tough.

[46:11] So a lot of it is trying, is the like,

[46:16] there's a certain amount of,

[46:21] I don't know what the word I'm looking for, but-

[46:24] Mystery?

[46:25] Exactly, that's exactly what I was looking for, mystery.

[46:28] So-

[46:31] This reminds me of many years ago

[46:34] when I was a student at NYU,

[46:35] the cartoonist Evan Dworkin came to talk

[46:37] to the Science Fiction and Fantasy Club

[46:39] and he talked about how stupid he always thought it was

[46:42] that Electro, he's fighting Spider-Man,

[46:46] Spider-Man goes, I know Electro's powers,

[46:48] I know I get him wet, he'll short out.

[46:50] He gets him wet, he shorts out, he sends him to jail.

[46:52] Electro gets out of jail,

[46:53] he puts on the same Electro costume

[46:55] and it's like you're saying Stu,

[46:56] it's like he's advertising how you defeat him

[46:58] and Evan Dworkin was positing a world

[47:00] where Electro dresses up like Scorpion

[47:01] and Spider-Man goes, it's Scorpion,

[47:03] I know how to stop him, I just grab his tail

[47:05] and swing him around and he grabs his tail

[47:06] and Electro just electrocutes him through the tail

[47:09] and that would have been a spartan move,

[47:10] but these Western heroes and villains are just so prideful.

[47:13] They can't put on another one's clothes

[47:16] and kind of let them get the credit, you know?

[47:18] Yeah, exactly and that's Dio's whole thing

[47:21] is he doesn't let anyone know what his power is,

[47:23] which of course is to freeze time for everyone else

[47:27] for exactly five seconds, which I don't think is a lot.

[47:31] No, but that's a good power to hide too

[47:33] because you're not gonna figure it out right away, yeah.

[47:36] And then of course, and though his stand

[47:38] is fairly close ranged, he'll usually freeze time

[47:42] and then have his stand go and punch a hole

[47:44] through the person, which is fatal for most people.

[47:48] Yeah, nine times out of 10.

[47:50] Nine times out of 10, so that is Stardust Crusaders.

[47:52] Dan, wait, are you pulling that

[47:53] from the New England Journal of Medicine?

[47:54] Is that where you're getting that statistic from?

[47:56] Yeah, I'm punching holes being punched through people.

[47:59] Stardust Crusaders has a ton of crazy stuff

[48:02] and it introduces stands.

[48:04] It's this like fun globetrotting adventure

[48:06] that ends up in Egypt.

[48:07] There's one of my favorite sequences is a,

[48:11] there's a sequence where they get in a,

[48:15] they're fighting a stand user who is a gambler

[48:18] and he keeps forcing them to gamble away

[48:21] basically their lives and it's like such a silly,

[48:27] like non-action based sequence, but it's so fun

[48:30] and the reactions of all the characters are so crazy.

[48:33] I love it in every animated version I've seen.

[48:36] When I read it, it was like,

[48:38] I already knew what was gonna happen, I still love it.

[48:40] And that's like the heart of what I love about JoJo's

[48:44] is that it's like, it's never what I expect

[48:47] and there's, I love the like weird mystery

[48:51] of trying to figure out everybody's abilities

[48:53] and people overreacting to things, it's great.

[48:56] So Stardust Crusaders, thumbs up.

[48:59] If you wanna check out JoJo's, that's the place to go.

[49:03] Time to move on to the next one

[49:05] and that's our next series, that's right.

[49:07] Oh yeah, and also in Stardust Crusaders,

[49:10] there's a villain named Vanilla Ice who destroys people.

[49:13] Okay, destroys people.

[49:14] Just like the real Vanilla Ice.

[49:16] Well, his stand involves creating a void bubble around him

[49:22] that destroys everything it touches,

[49:25] which is probably inspired by Vanilla Ice.

[49:28] Okay, so let's move on to the next slide.

[49:29] This is the first cover of our next series,

[49:32] Diamond is Unbreakable.

[49:35] Now we have a nice, cool collection of characters there.

[49:38] Obviously, you can see in the back, Jotaro Kujo shows up

[49:42] and now he's a little more experienced.

[49:43] He's learned some stuff from his battles with Dio.

[49:46] But we have a couple other characters here.

[49:47] He's got a bigger hat, certainly.

[49:49] As you can see, a couple of these characters

[49:50] are wearing school uniforms.

[49:54] I could not, honestly, I could not tell that.

[49:56] They're so covered in giga's and baubles

[49:59] and chains and things.

[50:00] and ornaments, I did not, I missed that.

[50:03] So this series takes place entirely in a small Japanese town named Morioh,

[50:12] and it almost has like a weird Twin Peaks vibe,

[50:15] because there's a serial killer who is stalking the streets,

[50:20] a serial killer, that's right, who has the powers of a stand,

[50:25] and we follow our new JoJo, Josuke Higashikata,

[50:31] a Japanese teenager with a cool pompadour haircut and a powerful stand ability,

[50:35] and a bunch of his friends as they travel around town and deal with other stand users,

[50:41] and eventually try and track down this serial killer.

[50:45] Let's get right to Josuke, that's him, go to the next panel.

[50:49] Oh, is this from the cartoon?

[50:51] This is from the cartoon, that's Josuke.

[50:54] As you can see, he's got a pompadour haircut,

[50:59] and over his shoulder is his stand, Crazy Diamond.

[51:05] Sure, I mean, let's describe this character,

[51:10] I would say that this character is if there was sort of a fetish gear version of Bane.

[51:15] Yeah, I could say that, I was going to say like if the X-Men villain Avalanche,

[51:19] if half of his costume fell off in pieces,

[51:22] and revealed that he didn't wear anything underneath.

[51:24] There is a lot of flesh here.

[51:27] A lot of, yeah, it's his, and it's a lot of flesh,

[51:30] just kind of hearts stuck onto his body.

[51:33] Including one in the groin zone.

[51:36] Yeah, one in the groin zone, and one has like a little,

[51:39] yeah, he's got a little like soul patch heart, yeah.

[51:42] Which matches the hearts that Josuke uses to adorn, to decorate his school uniform.

[51:50] Yeah, and he's also got tubes going from his neck into, I don't know what, his back?

[51:54] Seems unnecessary.

[51:57] Like Bane had like a tank that he would get stuff from.

[52:00] Tubes going from one part of his body to another part of his body.

[52:05] I mean, we all have those inside of us.

[52:06] Yeah, exactly.

[52:09] So, this where...

[52:11] I'm just noticing that the top of his helmet is flat, but it's still shaped like a heart.

[52:15] Shaped like a heart, hell yeah.

[52:17] So, Josuke's stand is similar to Star Platinum in that it's fairly short range,

[52:25] it's fast and tough, but it has a very specific unique ability.

[52:29] And that's the things it punches and destroys, he can remake.

[52:35] So he can heal people, he can fix things that have been destroyed.

[52:39] This is the series where they really start exploring some of the wacky stand powers that they can do.

[52:43] And some of the weird combos that they can do with the various abilities.

[52:49] And it's also an important thing because previously when they would introduce like a villain that has a power that like kills somebody,

[52:57] now what they'll do is they can demonstrate how deadly somebody's stand is,

[53:02] and then Josuke can use Crazy Diamond to just heal that person again.

[53:08] Which is important, you need to have a healer on your team basically.

[53:11] Yeah, you gotta balance out the party.

[53:14] Can I just say before we move on, also Jojo, the top of Jojo's pompadour kinda looks like a waffle iron.

[53:22] Like the texture is, to me, very evocative of a waffle iron.

[53:29] And one of the key things about this Josuke is you cannot make fun of his hair, or else it sends him into a berserker rage.

[53:37] So Dan, you better keep that to yourself.

[53:39] Oh no!

[53:40] Do not say anything more about that because you might get a visitor that you are not going to be happy with.

[53:46] Yeah, what he does isn't very nice.

[53:48] So a lot of this series is Jojo and his friends running into enemy stand users, having a life or death battle,

[53:58] and then oftentimes defeating the enemy and that enemy becoming their friend and part of the team.

[54:04] Which is great. At one point, a character shows up that is an alien.

[54:09] And that's the first time we've ever addressed aliens in the series, which is kinda wild.

[54:14] And the alien has a stand. That stand, of course, is Earth, Wind, and Fire.

[54:18] It's a wild season. It's a lot of fun. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

[54:25] And also it plays into the horror angle with an evil serial killer villain who we'll introduce on the next slide.

[54:33] Right there. That's Yoshikaga Kira.

[54:41] That's the name of the uptight businessman serial killer guy who is just looking for some woman to share his life.

[54:53] But he often kills them. In fact, always does.

[54:56] And standing in front of him is his stand. That's right. Killer Queen.

[55:00] Now his stand has some powerful thighs. Yeah, those thighs are roughly as wide as barrels.

[55:07] And he's also some sort of a cat robot. He looks like a cat robot.

[55:13] Based on his appearance, what do you think his power is?

[55:17] Well, he's certainly jellicle. So there's that right off the top.

[55:21] True. So I'm sure he can sing about himself.

[55:25] I mean, like, I don't know. Something about it, like some sort of like evil love perfume.

[55:32] Is that a thing? I mean, it is.

[55:35] That would 100 percent fit within this series.

[55:38] So the powers of Killer Queen are all based around explosives.

[55:43] Because nothing is more powerful than a serial killer that can blow up all evidence of his crimes.

[55:49] Oh, my God. That's how he's been able to survive for so long in Morioh.

[55:56] This is a super fun series. It leads to a really fun conclusion with some fun time hopping shenanigans.

[56:03] I like this one a lot. Yeah. So thumbs up. A lot of sweet, sweet boys in this one.

[56:11] Speaking of sweet boys, we're going to move on to the next series where we leave Morioh, Japan.

[56:18] And we go to on a trip to Italy, Italia. So let's look at this next group of boys.

[56:24] This this group. Yeah, it's I'm not in Italy.

[56:29] Yes. So either Italy or or Narnia.

[56:33] So looking at these boys, what do you what do you think their profession is?

[56:40] I'm getting I'm getting real improv everywhere vibes, some kind of modern circus or mostly acrobatics.

[56:46] I know we mentioned a boy band before, but maybe that I don't know.

[56:50] Yep. Are they are they wait, wait, hold on. We'll figure this out.

[56:53] Are they are they a roller derby team like a roller derby team?

[56:58] I know I know you guys don't have a lot of experience with it, but they are very clearly a group of Italian mafiosos.

[57:04] Oh, sure. OK. Yeah. Yeah.

[57:07] It's yeah. With the with the belt buckle that says a hanging over the one having kind of like a half shirt with leather.

[57:15] Sort of to a neck leash, open jumpsuit, this like white jumpsuit with like an open breastplate.

[57:22] Yeah. Like just like tags dangling off of it.

[57:27] They're like little paddle ball paddles just hanging off of it.

[57:30] And of course, and there's the guy who's got a no shirt and then a tie and then over that kind of a weird kind of slid up the middle jacket.

[57:40] Or the one that has sort of abs painted on in purple on their shirt.

[57:45] Yeah. There's the one that has a hat that is like a red.

[57:48] It's almost like a miniature wimple, like a phallic kind of blue sword going down the forehead.

[57:55] Classic mafiosos. Yep.

[57:58] So this is this is the team.

[58:01] We didn't even mention the one whose hair is it seems to be it seems to be contorted to the shape of three eyeballs along along his forehead.

[58:09] The best part is that the last member of the team is the Jojo of this series.

[58:13] That's right. Giorno Giovanna.

[58:17] Now, this is this is that's the the blonde haired fellow with the curls and the heart shaped cut out of his pink jumpsuit.

[58:25] OK, yeah. So this is this is the cast of the the final series I'm going to be talking about tonight.

[58:31] This is Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Series five.

[58:35] Vento Oreo, the Golden Wind.

[58:39] And these are the are Jojo.

[58:42] Let's move on to the next slide. Our next slide is right there.

[58:45] That's Giorno Giovanna and his stand.

[58:49] Giorno Giovanna and his stand. The Gold Experience.

[58:53] I think at this point, I think at this point that there is I think we've danced around that there is a there's a real heavy kind of Tom of Finland homoerotic.

[59:00] Yeah. Are they a lot of the stand?

[59:02] The stand is kind of like leaning into Jojo with its arms around his shoulders over him.

[59:08] Yeah. Head kind of like nozzles against Jojo's head.

[59:11] And there's a tear falling from the stand's eye.

[59:13] It looks like or perhaps that's just that it's just come up out of the water.

[59:16] But there's a real I feel like this is the most this is the one that has a sexual relationship between Jojo's stand.

[59:23] Part of the one of the things about Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and the art style is that I always kind of liken it to if somebody was doing fashion plates for an issue of Italian Vogue and use only WWF wrestlers to models.

[59:38] And I feel like this is the this is the most on the nose.

[59:41] Like I feel like the the fashion in this specific one, since they are in Italy, the fashion is is super bonkers.

[59:49] And it's so funny because they they regularly mention how the the the mafia can blend in with society.

[59:57] And I'm like every single one of them.

[1:00:00] these gangsters looks like a maniac.

[1:00:02] I mean, I'd just like to blend in

[1:00:03] with like the future of TimeCop.

[1:00:05] Yeah.

[1:00:06] Or like the Super Mario Brothers, the movie world.

[1:00:08] The fifth element they would blend right in.

[1:00:12] Like there's moments where they're like,

[1:00:13] we need to find the stand user in this crowd.

[1:00:16] I'm like, I think you can find him.

[1:00:18] It's the crazy looking one.

[1:00:20] So as I said before,

[1:00:21] so standing over Giorno's shoulder is his stand,

[1:00:24] the gold experience.

[1:00:27] His stand is a similarly short range stand,

[1:00:32] but the, and similar to Josuke's,

[1:00:36] it has a life-giving element.

[1:00:38] So the things it touches, it can alter the life form.

[1:00:43] So it could turn something that has,

[1:00:45] like it could turn a stick into like somebody's liver,

[1:00:49] or it can turn a beetle into a necklace.

[1:00:54] It's this weird kind of all purpose,

[1:00:57] like morphing ability.

[1:00:59] It has the same power that Calvin's transmogrifying box has

[1:01:05] in Calvin Hobbes.

[1:01:06] But the focus is around life, which is kind of cool.

[1:01:08] Cause it does, it's like an echo from the previous,

[1:01:11] like the Hamon, like breath control life energy thing.

[1:01:14] So an important thing here also is that

[1:01:17] Giorno Giovanna isn't a Joestar.

[1:01:20] Giorno is the son of Dio Brando.

[1:01:24] That's right, the villain from Stardust Crusaders.

[1:01:28] So he puts together, he joins,

[1:01:31] he joins this team of gangsters with the express purpose

[1:01:35] of trying to take down the boss,

[1:01:37] because the boss of the Italian crime organization,

[1:01:40] Passione, that's the name of the organization.

[1:01:43] This boss has been, yep.

[1:01:45] This boss has been selling drugs to children,

[1:01:48] which in this series is the worst possible thing

[1:01:51] you could do.

[1:01:52] So he wants to become a-

[1:01:53] It's still pretty bad.

[1:01:54] I mean, in real life, it's pretty bad.

[1:01:55] No, you're right.

[1:01:57] He wants to become a gang star in his words,

[1:02:00] and overthrow the organization,

[1:02:03] and run the organization himself.

[1:02:05] And he enlists, he initially fights,

[1:02:07] and then enlists the, who I would consider to be

[1:02:11] the real hero of the story.

[1:02:12] Let's move to the next slide.

[1:02:14] That's the capo of their group.

[1:02:17] That's Bruno Bucciaretti,

[1:02:19] and his stand, Sticky Fingers, aka Zipper Man.

[1:02:24] Because a lot of the names-

[1:02:25] Oh, yeah, the huge zipper.

[1:02:25] I get it, those are zippers that are hanging from them.

[1:02:28] A lot of the names have been,

[1:02:29] were changed for the English translation and dub.

[1:02:33] There's a stand called Craftwork

[1:02:36] that was changed to Arts and Crafts.

[1:02:39] Obviously, in this case, there's,

[1:02:41] one of my favorites is Baby Head,

[1:02:44] well, was originally Baby Face.

[1:02:46] That's a stand that involves a computer

[1:02:49] and using somebody's DNA to create a evil stand baby.

[1:02:54] This is a wild series.

[1:02:55] I am so glad this is called Zipper Man,

[1:02:59] because I was looking at it,

[1:03:01] I'm like, that looks like a big,

[1:03:03] like the little thing,

[1:03:05] like the thing that you hold onto in a zipper,

[1:03:07] the little tab, like the giant one

[1:03:11] hanging off of kind of the belt area of the stand.

[1:03:15] And I was like, am I crazy?

[1:03:18] Is that like a zipper thing?

[1:03:20] And it was good to know that I was right.

[1:03:23] It's not Little Penis Man.

[1:03:25] Yeah.

[1:03:26] You were gonna say something.

[1:03:27] No, no, yeah, just that it does look like

[1:03:29] he has a giant paddle penis.

[1:03:30] Yeah.

[1:03:31] And Bruno has this like weird, short bangs.

[1:03:34] And that stand has a lot of attitude.

[1:03:35] I feel like the stands have more and more attitude.

[1:03:37] Yeah.

[1:03:38] Yeah, this one's all attitude.

[1:03:40] Bruno Bucciarati is the leader of the group.

[1:03:42] He's got a bowl cut with bangs,

[1:03:44] and he has these like barrettes in his hair.

[1:03:47] I don't know if I'd call it a bowl cut.

[1:03:48] That's a Louise Brooks haircut.

[1:03:49] Yeah, it's a bob.

[1:03:50] Thank you.

[1:03:51] It's a little bob.

[1:03:52] Yeah.

[1:03:53] It's a bob, you're right.

[1:03:54] Similar to Giorno, he's got a cutout in his little suit

[1:03:57] showing off a nice set of tattoos.

[1:04:00] Now, his stand's sticky fingers,

[1:04:03] when things it touches, he can open up like zippers.

[1:04:07] So it allows him to like, he can like punches,

[1:04:11] he can punch somebody's arm

[1:04:12] and their arm will come unzipped from their body.

[1:04:15] He can punch his own body and unzip parts of it.

[1:04:19] Now, Stuart, this is postulating

[1:04:21] that just like a normal arm is zipped on.

[1:04:25] Well, the power creates the zipper, right?

[1:04:27] Yeah, it creates a zipper.

[1:04:28] He can punch a wall and create a zipper

[1:04:31] and then fall through the wall

[1:04:33] and then zip the wall closed.

[1:04:35] Because the ability to unzip a zipper

[1:04:36] is not that great a superpower.

[1:04:37] Most people can do that.

[1:04:39] Yeah.

[1:04:39] That's true.

[1:04:40] You don't need a stand for that.

[1:04:42] Just embarrass people by being like, X, Y, Z.

[1:04:45] Now, what if he punched zipper from Rescue Rangers?

[1:04:51] I feel like zipper would get covered in zippers

[1:04:53] and then get unzipped and we would all be fucking bummed.

[1:04:56] Didn't zipper like-

[1:04:57] That would be so sad.

[1:04:58] Yeah.

[1:04:59] Wait, didn't zipper marry gadget?

[1:05:02] Well, in the, yeah, in the recent Chippendale movie.

[1:05:05] Canon, it's Canon, Dan.

[1:05:07] They're married now.

[1:05:09] You have to imagine them on their honeymoon.

[1:05:11] Imagine it right now.

[1:05:13] So-

[1:05:14] Imagine it, sure.

[1:05:14] Why not?

[1:05:15] I'll do it.

[1:05:16] Let's look at some of the villains

[1:05:18] that are arrayed against our rowdy boys here.

[1:05:21] Okay.

[1:05:21] We got a, the next slide is the,

[1:05:24] this is the Assassin Squad that are all named after food.

[1:05:28] We got Chocolata, Pesci, Fromage, all those fucking shits.

[1:05:35] And they, of course, attack them.

[1:05:37] They attack our friends one by one.

[1:05:40] One of them, Pesci, has a stand

[1:05:43] that is a magical fishing rod.

[1:05:46] Yeah, it's great.

[1:05:48] Man, it's great.

[1:05:49] These guys, look at these normal gangsters.

[1:05:53] The one where his head is also his neck

[1:05:55] and he's got like a pineapple top coming out of his head.

[1:05:57] That's Pesci, of course.

[1:05:59] And he's kind of a wimping.

[1:06:00] This is the first time that I realized,

[1:06:03] I'm like, oh, it's Joe Fish.

[1:06:04] Joe Fish is his name.

[1:06:07] Joe Fish.

[1:06:08] Yeah.

[1:06:09] Anyway, sorry.

[1:06:10] Thank you for that real-

[1:06:11] Yeah, no, I'm glad.

[1:06:13] The guy in the middle with the weird goth gesture cap.

[1:06:16] Robert De Niro is Robert of Nero.

[1:06:18] What?

[1:06:21] Amazing.

[1:06:22] And Al Pacino's name actually means Pachinko.

[1:06:25] Oh, the game where the new series on Hulu.

[1:06:30] Both.

[1:06:31] Is it Hulu?

[1:06:32] I don't even remember.

[1:06:33] I don't know.

[1:06:34] So I want to point out,

[1:06:35] I want to point out in the next slide,

[1:06:36] we're going to advance to the next slide

[1:06:38] because I got something special for you.

[1:06:41] We have a stand that's right after Dan's heart here.

[1:06:45] That is one of the enemies,

[1:06:46] and the stand is Talking Heads.

[1:06:50] Oh.

[1:06:51] Oh, man.

[1:06:52] Now, describe Talking Heads to me.

[1:06:54] As the series goes on,

[1:06:55] it's really visually moving into Aeon Flux territory.

[1:06:57] Yeah, that last one was super Aeon Flux.

[1:07:00] Yeah, the bodies are getting thinner and more distort,

[1:07:03] like their postures are more distorted

[1:07:06] and on oblique angles,

[1:07:08] and yeah, that kind of unnerving Aeon Flux quality.

[1:07:12] I would say that the stand.

[1:07:14] Yeah, describe it.

[1:07:15] You were going to say describe it.

[1:07:16] It's, you know, I understand why it's called Talking Head

[1:07:20] because the head is the largest thing,

[1:07:22] but it's not just a head.

[1:07:23] It's got little arms and like kind of a little body

[1:07:27] that trails off into a tail.

[1:07:30] It's like a baby devil genie.

[1:07:32] Yeah, it kind of looks like if there's a cute version

[1:07:35] of that squid from Prometheus, it's sort of in that zone.

[1:07:38] It's in the movie.

[1:07:39] The cute version is in the movie.

[1:07:40] Okay, yeah.

[1:07:41] It's a little baby squid.

[1:07:43] Yeah.

[1:07:44] So to give you an idea of what Talking Heads power is,

[1:07:46] is it climbs into your mouth and replaces your tongue

[1:07:49] and then says the exact opposite of what you want it to say.

[1:07:53] Amazing.

[1:07:55] What a great power.

[1:07:56] For speaking in tongues, I get it, yeah.

[1:07:58] It's a very specific power, luckily.

[1:08:01] It's used in coordination with a teleporting shark stand

[1:08:07] that can teleport from different bodies of water,

[1:08:09] including blood and tears coming out of your eye.

[1:08:13] Sure.

[1:08:15] Yeah, so, yeah, this is a, again,

[1:08:18] this is similar to Stardust Crusaders

[1:08:20] in that there's a little bit of a globetrotting element.

[1:08:22] They travel all around Italy.

[1:08:25] We get to know all of these rowdy boys.

[1:08:26] Like Stanley Tucci.

[1:08:27] Wait, so is Stanley Tucci looking for Italy

[1:08:29] or whatever, or is that just a JoJo's adventure?

[1:08:32] It is a lot like a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

[1:08:34] I wonder what Stanley Tucci's stand would be.

[1:08:37] I mean, he dresses, depending on the role,

[1:08:40] could easily dress like one of our various stand users.

[1:08:43] An incorrectly made Negroni is his stand.

[1:08:46] Oh, no.

[1:08:48] Wow.

[1:08:49] Shots fired.

[1:08:50] Shots I don't understand fired.

[1:08:53] So in the third series, we introduced the concept of stands.

[1:08:57] In the fourth series, we introduced the idea

[1:09:00] that stands are given to people

[1:09:04] if they are shot by a magical arrow

[1:09:07] that will either kill them or bring out their stand.

[1:09:10] Oh, like the Terrigen mist, okay.

[1:09:12] Exactly, and a lot of the action involves chasing around,

[1:09:15] trying to get that arrow away from bad guys.

[1:09:19] Finally, in this series, we address the idea

[1:09:24] that stands come from an alien meteorite

[1:09:28] that came to Earth and was basically causing

[1:09:33] some kind of a virus that would either kill you

[1:09:35] or give you powers, and then somebody took

[1:09:37] the meteorite rock and formed arrows out of it

[1:09:41] and then sold those arrows to a hag named Enya in Egypt

[1:09:47] who gave them to Dio.

[1:09:49] So that's how, so far, that's where we're at on stands

[1:09:53] and how they came to be.

[1:09:54] And finally, let's talk about the guy,

[1:09:57] the big bad, the boss of the.

[1:10:00] Letís go to the next slide, this is what a crime boss looks like guys.

[1:10:05] Of course thatís what you think of, thatís DiAvolo and his stand, King Crimson.

[1:10:11] Yeah, so DiAvolo is a super bad dude, he dresses like a totally normal gangster and King Crimson

[1:10:20] has a little baby face.

[1:10:21] If a gangster was in those creepy Calvin Klein commercials from about 25, 30 years ago, where

[1:10:28] kind of young people in jeans and no shirts stood next to ladders in a basement and answered

[1:10:32] uncomfortable questions about themselves.

[1:10:34] And his stand looks like Iron Man in fishnets.

[1:10:39] This is that waffle print again, if Iron Man fell into a waffle iron, this is that guy.

[1:10:45] And King Crimson, itís another thing where DiAvolo tries to keep his identity secret

[1:10:50] because of course heís a secretive mob boss.

[1:10:55] He tries to keep his power secret, based on the name King Crimson, what do you guys

[1:11:00] think his power might be?

[1:11:06] He releases a flood of blood, that would be awesome.

[1:11:13] It is not a flood of blood, thatís similar to some other stands though.

[1:11:17] So maybe what if itís like he takes you to court, because youíre in the court of the

[1:11:23] Crimson King, so heís a lawyer and heís good with injunctions and torts and things.

[1:11:30] These are all really good guesses.

[1:11:32] He has a two-part power.

[1:11:33] One is that he can see briefly what is going to happen in the future.

[1:11:38] And the other is that he can erase 10 seconds worth of time, which is a weird power and

[1:11:47] I donít quite know why or how itís good, but he does it a lot.

[1:11:55] So it leads to a very complicated showdown at the end that is not necessarily my favorite,

[1:12:01] but this was still quite a bizarre adventure to go on.

[1:12:08] So thatís it with the end of five series worth of JoJoís Bizarre Adventure.

[1:12:16] Iím looking forward to see where it goes next.

[1:12:18] I believe our next JoJo is our first female JoJo, Jolene Cujo, the daughter of Jotaro,

[1:12:26] the coolest dude in the universe, as I mentioned before.

[1:12:28] Thereís so many cool stands, you got to catch them all.

[1:12:33] I recommend this series.

[1:12:35] Guys, do you have any parting questions or thoughts on this adventure Iíve taken you

[1:12:39] on?

[1:12:40] No.

[1:12:42] I feel like before this I had sort of my understanding of JoJoís Bizarre Adventure was at an F and

[1:12:52] now itís sort of a D+.

[1:12:54] Easily a D+, yeah.

[1:12:56] Thank you.

[1:12:57] No, youíre welcome.

[1:12:59] I also donít have any questions.

[1:13:01] I feel like that was thorough, comprehensive.

[1:13:04] It did leave me asking more questions than were answered, but it also left me afraid

[1:13:09] of answering those questions.

[1:13:10] Yeah, exactly.

[1:13:11] And unsure of myself and who I am and what works in the universe and what I should be

[1:13:16] expecting from my entertainment.

[1:13:17] So thank you for that.

[1:13:19] So guys, Iíve almost finished this bottle of Mezcal, so I think itís probably a good

[1:13:22] time for us to sign out.

[1:13:25] This podcast is on the MaxFun Network.

[1:13:27] You can check out a bunch of other fun podcasts on there.

[1:13:30] Some are not about JoJoís Bizarre Adventure.

[1:13:34] Roughly 99.99999% are not about JoJoís Bizarre Adventure.

[1:13:40] So youíre saying thereís a chance.

[1:13:43] This podcast was edited by the loving hands of Alex Smith.

[1:13:47] You can find him as HowlDotty on various social media.

[1:13:51] You can check out his podcast, HowlDottyís Fast Track, which Dan just recorded a dope-ass

[1:13:56] song for.

[1:13:57] Itís true.

[1:13:58] Iíve been Stuart Wellington.

[1:14:00] Iíve been Dan McCoy.

[1:14:03] And Iím Elite Kalen.

[1:14:05] Bye!

FH Mini 60 - StuStu's Podcast Adventure

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