EPISODE #376 – Morbius, LIVE!

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Morbius.

Stuart Wellington

[0:03] Live from Brooklyn, New York!

[0:30] This is the point where the people who've never been to these shows before are like,

Elliott Kalan

[0:38] oh, they're really just sitting at that table.

[0:40] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[0:43] I apologize to everyone sitting in this general zone.

Elliott Kalan

[0:46] Apologize for how much of Elliot they get to see.

[0:50] Thank you.

[0:51] I've been like...

[0:51] Thank you.

[0:52] You need to sit over there.

[0:53] Sexy side.

[0:54] Because I'm not tall enough to really be seen over the table.

[0:56] So if you want to see me, you got it over there.

Stuart Wellington

[0:59] Elliot was doing some squats backstage, and guys, he's got it.

[1:02] Thank you.

Dan McCoy

[1:03] Thanks.

[1:04] He's got it.

[1:05] He's got it.

[1:06] Suck legs.

[1:06] Yep.

[1:08] Take him to...

[1:08] So should we start the show now?

[1:11] Yeah.

[1:12] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie, then we talk about it.

[1:16] In this case, this is a live show.

[1:18] We're back live.

[1:19] Yay!

[1:19] Woo!

[1:20] For the first time...

Elliott Kalan

[1:22] That's right.

[1:22] The first time in over two years.

[1:25] And so, of course, we went to our old homestead, the Bell House.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28] I mean, honestly, this is where I would want to be.

[1:30] I love this place.

[1:31] The staff are great.

[1:32] Tip the bartenders.

[1:33] It's awesome.

[1:34] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:35] And it's extremely convenient for two-thirds of us.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39] Not you.

[1:40] Not so much for me.

[1:42] Not so much.

[1:43] But I tacked on a visit to my family in New Jersey, so it's all worth it.

[1:47] You can write off your love as a work expense.

Dan McCoy

[1:52] Oh, I've been doing that for years.

[1:54] Let's, yeah.

[1:55] Morbius.

[1:55] What about this movie?

[1:56] Well, everybody, we're talking about Morbius today.

Elliott Kalan

[1:59] That's right, Morbius.

[1:59] It starts with an M, and that rhymes with movie.

[2:02] No, wait a minute.

[2:02] Hold on.

[2:04] It starts, M movie starts with M, and that rhymes with...

[2:07] Oovie.

[2:08] Oovie.

[2:08] Uh-huh.

[2:09] Yeah.

[2:09] Which is not a word.

Dan McCoy

[2:10] Which kind of sounds like Oogie Loves.

[2:12] Yeah.

[2:13] And the Great Balloon Adventure.

[2:14] Which is a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[2:14] Which is a different movie.

[2:15] So, Morbius, I don't have to tell you all in the audience or you listening at home that

[2:19] Morbius was meant to be the movie of the summer.

[2:22] It was the movie that was released to theaters only to die.

[2:25] Only to rise again and be released a second time to die yet again.

[2:31] Just like Jesus, except dying a second time.

[2:36] Let's see.

[2:37] Did Morbius deserve this unheralded fate?

[2:40] I mean, it's a Morbius movie.

[2:41] Of course it did.

[2:43] Before we start talking about the movie, we're going to summarize this movie.

[2:46] I'm curious.

[2:47] Show of loudness or hands in the audience.

[2:49] How many of you are familiar with the character of Michael Morbius before this movie was announced?

[2:52] Okay.

[2:54] Surprising amount.

[2:55] It's too bad that he...

Dan McCoy

[2:55] Remember, this is a podcast audience, so those numbers should be way higher.

[3:00] It's not a...

Elliott Kalan

[3:00] Yeah.

[3:01] This is not an accurate sample size of the American population.

Stuart Wellington

[3:03] They made a point of calling him Michael Morbius, leaving out the fact that he did all

[3:06] that hard work to become a doctor at age 18.

[3:08] Sorry.

Elliott Kalan

[3:09] Dr. Michael Morbius.

[3:10] You're right.

[3:11] Dr. Michael Morbius, MD.

[3:13] Perhaps, I'm just going to...

Dan McCoy

[3:14] Morbius Doctor is what that stands for.

Elliott Kalan

[3:16] I'm going to...

[3:16] Yeah, Morbius Doctor.

Dan McCoy

[3:17] It's a little redundant, but he insists upon it.

Elliott Kalan

[3:19] He gave himself the degree.

[3:21] I think we could all...

[3:21] It's like Rand Paul with ophthalmology.

[3:23] He licensed himself.

[3:24] Yeah.

[3:25] I think let's...

[3:26] I'm going to say something that a lot of...

[3:27] Might be a bit of a controversial thing for Spider-Fans.

[3:30] My second, maybe second least favorite Spider-Man character.

[3:34] Wow.

[3:34] Yeah.

[3:35] Ask me who my least favorite one is.

[3:36] Who's your least...

[3:36] Molten Man.

[3:37] Piece of shit.

[3:40] What a crappy character Molten Man is.

[3:42] He's not even really molten.

Dan McCoy

[3:44] Now, what is...

[3:44] Yeah.

[3:45] Does he melt?

[3:45] What does he do?

[3:46] No.

[3:46] What is...

Elliott Kalan

[3:46] Hot metal covered him and somehow gave him super strength and thick skin.

[3:51] And he started out as a crazy guy, but he's also Spider-Man's friend, Liz Allen's half-brother,

[3:55] I think.

[3:55] So now he just wears a suit and goes to work every day.

[3:59] At the chemical company.

[4:00] Like the metal suit or just a normal suit?

[4:02] No, a normal suit.

Stuart Wellington

[4:02] He works at the same place that he had that workplace injury?

Elliott Kalan

[4:06] Yes, he does.

[4:08] It's a family business, so he couldn't sue.

Dan McCoy

[4:10] You know, they're economic pressures.

Elliott Kalan

[4:14] Elliot.

[4:15] He's a terrible character and Morbius is second terrible.

[4:17] And he comes from a time when the comic book code...

[4:20] This is going to be boring.

[4:21] The comic book code in the 1970s...

[4:23] I mean, we can't skip it.

[4:24] No, we can't.

[4:25] Always an option.

[4:26] No, no.

[4:26] People saw it was a Morbius episode, they said, get boring.

[4:29] Yeah.

[4:29] There was a rule that said no vampires.

[4:31] In the 70s, they were like, you know what?

[4:32] You can have vampires.

[4:34] And Marvel's like, great, let's have Spider-Man fight Dracula.

[4:36] And then Stan Lee said, no.

[4:37] It's got to be a superhero vampire, not Dracula.

[4:40] And then Dracula showed up later in the Marvel books.

[4:42] Anyway, so they invented this guy.

[4:44] Anyway, Morbius begins in the misty jungles of Costa Rica.

[4:48] And so we see a helicopter go into a cave full of bats.

[4:51] And it just made me feel bad because Costa Rica is also where all the Jurassic Park shenanigans have.

[4:55] When will American monster stuff stop using Costa Rica as its stomping grounds?

[4:59] You know, it's not fair to the Costa Ricans.

[5:00] It's a lovely country.

[5:01] They're pretty laid back there.

[5:02] They don't even have an army.

[5:03] And it's like, you know what?

[5:04] Leave them alone.

[5:05] Anyway, so that's my pro Costa Rica rant.

[5:09] Stop sending American vampires to Costa Rica.

[5:12] Come on, everybody.

[5:13] So there's this cave full of bats.

[5:15] What's weird is that Michael Morbius, I think, is already at the cave.

[5:18] He's like, the helicopter shows up.

[5:19] It's unclear from the editing, at least to me, whether he was on the helicopter or he was just there waiting for his ride.

[5:24] Yeah.

[5:25] And he's on, oh, no, he does come out of the helicopter.

[5:28] He comes out on crutches.

[5:30] And he's amazed, he says, by the power of these vampire bats.

[5:33] And he sets up a big trap that's, like, made out of electric strings or something.

[5:36] Yep.

[5:37] And the helicopter pilot is like, I don't want to stay here past sundown.

[5:41] And this is the problem the movie has, is that it seems to confuse vampire bats with vampires, which are not the same thing.

[5:46] Vampire bats are just called that because they drink blood.

[5:48] But, like, they're bats.

[5:49] They're just bats.

[5:51] They don't bite you unless you're asleep and you're a cow.

[5:54] So you don't really have to worry about it.

[5:56] Better get your garlic.

[5:57] I do only one of those things.

[5:58] Yeah, that's true.

[5:59] And your CPAP machine is so loud, it would scare the bats away.

[6:01] It would scare the bats away.

[6:02] It would mess with their echolocation and they'd crash into walls.

[6:06] And, you know.

Dan McCoy

[6:07] Now, here's where I reveal the surprising twist that I have seen Morbius twice at this point.

[6:15] Yeah, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[6:15] As someone who...

[6:16] I feel bad.

[6:17] I said all those bad things about Morbius before.

[6:19] Dan's a real Morbhead.

[6:20] He was so excited.

[6:21] So finally, my favorite Spider-Man character, second favorite, Molten Man, he said, is that finally they're going to make a movie out of him.

[6:26] And he raced to the theaters.

Dan McCoy

[6:28] As a season pass holder at the Alamo Draft House and someone who has, you know,

[6:35] interesting work schedules.

[6:38] At the time you were, let's call it, amorphously employed.

[6:41] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[6:42] My friend John was like, I'm going to Morbius.

Dan McCoy

[6:45] I'm like, hell yeah, let's do it.

Stuart Wellington

[6:47] And it's two o'clock on a weekday.

Dan McCoy

[6:51] I'll never die.

[6:52] I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[6:55] There is no, there is no, maybe no greater spitting in the eye of God than seeing Morbius twice with the limited time that he has given you on this earth.

[7:05] Each man gets three score and ten.

[7:07] I don't think so.

[7:08] I'm seeing Morbius a second time.

[7:10] You make fun of me, profit.

Stuart Wellington

[7:13] We were watching the movie this afternoon and Dan got up to go to the bathroom and he made me pause it.

Dan McCoy

[7:22] A half truth at best.

[7:25] No, I just wanted to say that like.

[7:26] I saw it twice.

[7:27] Now you get it.

[7:27] Only this.

[7:28] No, I mean the second time I do get something which is like this first scene is set up as if it's going to be a framing device.

[7:35] Like everything in watching movies, like movie language taught me to think like, okay, this is a scene.

[7:41] We're seeing a bit of it now.

[7:42] We're going to return to this point at some part of the movie.

[7:46] We never return to this point.

[7:48] This is not a framing device.

[7:50] This is just like we want to see bats up top and then we'll get into chronologically telling the story.

[7:57] But in between Dr. Michael Morbius being a child and being an adult soon to be vampire man, there is this scene that we saw earlier.

[8:08] Yeah.

[8:08] I think.

Elliott Kalan

[8:09] Yeah, it's told out of order and kind of a, you know, magical realist sort of Gabriel Garcia Marquez style.

Stuart Wellington

[8:14] Yeah, it's a brilliant work of genius.

[8:16] You expect Michael Morbius to get surrounded by bats and turn and face the camera and say, hey guys.

Dan McCoy

[8:23] You're probably wondering how I got here.

[8:25] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[8:26] This hairdresser's smock surrounded by bats.

Elliott Kalan

[8:29] Cool guy like me.

Stuart Wellington

[8:30] You want to learn over the course of the movie, but we don't.

Elliott Kalan

[8:32] No, you don't.

[8:32] No, well we do learn.

[8:33] But anyway, so Morbius cuts his hand and he holds the bloody cut up to the trap.

[8:36] And of course, because bats, like sharks I guess, can detect a little bit of blood and just a lot of air, the bats rush out of the cave to get out that sweet blood.

[8:45] And the crew of the helicopter runs away as Morbius stands up to the bats bravely and lets them, I guess, lick at his hands.

[8:51] Because then we cut to Greece.

[8:54] It says 25 years earlier, even though it seems like the 1950s, but this is like 1997.

[8:59] And we meet young Michael Morbius, not yet the kind of guy who would stick his bloody hand against a bunch of bats.

[9:05] And he loves origami.

[9:07] That's important.

[9:08] And he lives at a hospital because he's got a rare blood disorder that makes it hard for his body to do stuff.

[9:14] And he's watched over by Emil Nicholas.

[9:17] That's the technical term.

[9:19] I mean, they don't really go into it much.

[9:20] Dr. Emil Nicholas, played by Jared Harris, one of my favorites.

Stuart Wellington

[9:25] He went to Jared.

Dan McCoy

[9:28] Twice.

[9:34] I'm regaining my strength.

[9:36] Hold on.

Elliott Kalan

[9:38] So Dr. Jared Harris, he goes, oh, there's this new kid, Lucian.

[9:40] And Morbius goes, all the kids who sleep in the bed next to me are named Milo.

[9:43] Your name's Milo now.

[9:45] And inexplicably, they're now best friends.

Dan McCoy

[9:48] Yeah.

[9:48] And also later, as Stuart and Charlene pointed out when we're watching it, Jared Harris refers to this kid as Milo.

[9:54] It just becomes his name.

[9:57] It's crazy.

[9:58] And we're supposed to like this guy who has put this other name on this kid.

[10:02] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[10:03] That's not how names work usually.

[10:05] And they've got this rare genetic disease.

[10:07] They need infusions of blood three times a day.

[10:10] Very rough.

[10:11] And across the street, a bunch of mean Greek teens heckle them.

[10:14] Oh, those Greek teens.

[10:16] Oh.

[10:17] That's what the movie Grease was about.

[10:18] How mean they are.

[10:22] So one day, Lucian passes out because his blood machine breaks down.

[10:25] And Michael Morbius fixes it just in time.

[10:27] He's just a kid, but he knows how to fix this blood machine.

[10:29] And Dr. Jared Harris is like, you should go to a school for gifted kids.

[10:32] And Michael writes a letter to Milo slash Lucian saying, hey, this isn't goodbye.

[10:36] I'm going to find a cure for us.

[10:38] And then Milo goes outside.

[10:40] He immediately goes outside and the Greek teens tease him and beat him up.

Dan McCoy

[10:42] Yeah.

[10:43] Immediately without his dark protector.

[10:46] But it's funny to me that Jared Harris is like, oh, there's a school for gifted teens.

[10:51] He's like, do you know a team of scientists had to design that machine and you fixed it with a spring from this pin?

[10:57] I'm like, yeah.

[10:58] He didn't have to rebuild the machine.

[11:02] I mean, look, I couldn't fix some Milo's machine if you put that as a test to me.

[11:08] But I don't think it's like amazing that he's like, oh, the power.

[11:11] I need to link the power.

[11:12] Like he acts like, I don't know, he's sending you off to spring school to be a spring scientist.

Elliott Kalan

[11:17] Yeah.

[11:18] He's the world's greatest springologist.

[11:20] But it is like he's like, you defeated their machine.

[11:23] You must be smarter than them.

[11:26] So cut to, I guess, which 25 years later from the place we just were, because Dr. Michael Morbius has all grown up and getting the Nobel Prize for creating artificial blood.

[11:36] And Jared Harris was presenting it to him, which seems weird.

[11:39] He's not on the Nobel, maybe he's on the Nobel Committee, in which case he should have recused himself if his former patient and friend and protege is winning.

Dan McCoy

[11:46] Also, if anything, he looks younger than he did 20 years ago.

[11:50] Jared Harris does.

[11:51] Jared does.

[11:51] Not Michael Morbius.

[11:52] Not Michael Morbius.

[11:52] He looks like he was a kid before.

[11:53] He takes care of himself.

Stuart Wellington

[11:54] Yeah.

[11:54] And the thing is, they specifically say that the synthetic blood Dr. Michael Morbius invented has saved more people than penicillin, which is a lot.

[12:03] That's a lot of people.

[12:04] That's a lot of people.

[12:05] A lot of people.

[12:05] That's like the biggest effect the superheroes had on the world.

Elliott Kalan

[12:09] It's far, far better than the other stuff superheroes do, usually.

[12:13] Every now and then they save the world.

[12:13] Usually.

[12:13] Yeah, destroying Sokovia.

[12:15] Oh, wow.

[12:16] Hot takes.

[12:17] Whoever talks about that these days.

[12:19] Yeah.

[12:20] It's amazing.

[12:21] These good works came from this bad boy, Michael Morbius, played by Jared Leto, a genuine real-life bad boy who supposedly does bad things.

[12:29] But we learn in the next scene that he rejected the Nobel Prize despite being there at the ceremony.

[12:35] So I guess he waded through the whole speech.

[12:36] Could have been an email.

[12:37] He showed up, his mentor talked about what a great dude he is.

[12:41] He gets up to the podium and I guess was like, peace, this sucks, walks away.

[12:45] And he never really gives a reason, I think, as to why he did it.

[12:47] Yeah, he just wanted to hear everybody boo him as he stormed off.

[12:50] He goes, I feed off your hate.

[12:52] I feed off your hate.

[12:53] Boo me.

Dan McCoy

[12:53] I think he says, like, I can't accept an award for something that was a mistake, which, speaking of penicillin, correct me if I'm wrong.

[13:02] Like, it just seems like, yeah, just take the award.

[13:05] Take the W, dude.

Elliott Kalan

[13:06] Well, considering Dustin Hoffman won a Nobel Prize for the moment in Midnight Cowboy when a car almost hits him and he goes, hey, I'm walking here, which was also a mistake.

[13:13] That wasn't supposed to happen.

Dan McCoy

[13:15] Yeah, I can't believe they gave out Nobel Prizes for moments in movies back then.

Elliott Kalan

[13:19] It was a thin year.

[13:20] It was a very thin year for physics.

[13:23] That was the physics Nobel Prize.

[13:26] So, Dr. Morbys is telling this all to a child patient who thinks he's a real badass for turning down the Nobel.

[13:31] And he's with his love interest slash partner, Dr. Martine Bancroft, who says that you are pushing yourself too hard.

[13:40] This isn't good for you.

[13:41] But she's figured out his secret.

[13:43] That in his secret lab, which is across the hall from where his patients are, he has been mixing human DNA with bat DNA.

[13:52] And he's got a big tube, and when you press a button, it flills with bats like a money tunnel full of bats.

Stuart Wellington

[13:56] Yeah, he's got a bat zone.

[13:59] And sometimes they'll be talking, and we'll hear it muffled as if we're in the bat zone watching them.

[14:05] And then the camera just pans onto the bat zone, and we hear them normal.

[14:08] It's crazy.

[14:09] It doesn't really work, is what you're saying, technically.

Dan McCoy

[14:12] And you were pointing out earlier that he's acting as if he's hiding these bats.

[14:16] Yes.

[14:16] When if you just turn the lights on in the bat zone, you see the bats.

Elliott Kalan

[14:19] The bats show up.

[14:21] Someone's got to clean that room.

[14:22] Is Michael Morbius doing the janitorial duties for that room?

[14:25] I don't think so.

[14:25] Yeah, he's just like, uh, some science meant that there's a lot of guano in there.

[14:29] Well, that's the other thing.

[14:30] There's no, that's the other thing.

[14:31] The tube is guano free, which means someone is really working hard.

[14:34] Yeah.

[14:35] These bats shit like crazy.

[14:37] And that stuff is phosphorus heavy.

[14:40] So anyway, she finds this big tube of bats, and he's like, you know, vampire bat saliva

[14:46] has a unique anticoagulant, and if humans could make that, it would cure my disorder.

[14:51] And it's like, hold on, dude.

[14:52] So would you be like spitting into your own blood?

[14:54] That doesn't make any sense.

[14:56] Hold on.

[14:57] And this is the first part where the movie is sort of slowly establishing over the course

[15:01] of the film that vampire bats are magic in some way, and that they have supernatural

[15:04] powers without ever going so far as to say it.

[15:07] And there's a lot of points in the movie that would make more sense if they were like,

[15:09] oh yeah, bats are magic, instead of this kind of made up science stuff.

[15:13] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[15:13] It's my favorite bat store in Brooklyn, bats are magic.

[15:16] Yeah.

[15:18] Some local humor for those listening over the podcast.

[15:21] I hope the people listening to the recording are also in Brooklyn.

[15:23] Yeah.

[15:24] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[15:25] And she's like, this is too much.

[15:26] You shouldn't tamper in God's domain.

[15:28] And he's like, big things only come from pushing boundaries.

[15:31] You're scientists, dude.

[15:32] Yeah.

[15:33] Well, but there are limits.

[15:34] I mean, but on the other hand.

Dan McCoy

[15:35] There are limits, but this is definitely one of those things where it's just like, oh, you're

[15:39] tampering in God's domain.

[15:41] It's like, yeah, I guess.

[15:43] But in real life, you know, combining yourself with a bat doesn't turn you into a vampire.

[15:48] I'll remind you, Dan, this is a movie.

[15:52] I get it.

[15:53] I just, I think that you pointed out how like conspiratorial thinking has been unhealthy

[15:57] for the world.

[15:58] Yeah.

[15:58] I think there are a lot of these Frankenstein derivatives that are like, oh, science will

[16:03] inevitably lead to monsters running amok.

[16:06] And it's just like, no, no, science was, it's going to help us guys.

[16:09] Chill out.

Elliott Kalan

[16:10] Yeah.

[16:11] Worst case scenario, there's thousands of nuclear weapons just lying around.

Dan McCoy

[16:15] But that's the bad thing.

[16:16] Okay.

[16:16] Not all science, of course.

[16:17] I'm just saying it's a double-edged science sword, everybody.

[16:20] Boo, science.

[16:21] Fine.

[16:21] You found a counter example.

[16:23] I guess everything I said was wrong.

Elliott Kalan

[16:25] I did it.

[16:26] I bet you don't even know what AR stands for in AR-15, Dan.

[16:29] Debate me.

[16:30] Anyway, so.

[16:31] Anyway, so.

[16:32] I don't really think that.

[16:33] Anyway, so.

[16:35] Anyway, Morbius is like, I'm just injecting a mouse with this human bat DNA.

[16:39] And the mouse dies immediately.

[16:41] But then they get called away.

[16:43] And they come back.

Stuart Wellington

[16:44] That mouse is doing great.

[16:45] It's up and kicking.

[16:46] It worked.

[16:46] And it's got like this little costume on.

[16:48] It looks like a real vampire.

[16:50] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[16:50] It would have been so amazing if they came back.

[16:52] And the mouse, they're like, wait a minute.

[16:54] This mouse isn't showing up in a mirror.

[16:55] Hold on.

[16:57] I'll just feed the mouse.

[16:58] Let's offer it this garlicky pizza slice.

[17:00] Oh, it's shrinking away from it.

[17:03] Well, I'll just.

[17:03] You're taking the cheese, but not the garlic.

[17:04] I'll just do what I always do every day and baptize this mouse in holy water.

[17:08] Oh, he's burning.

[17:09] So.

[17:10] And this is the point where in my notes I wrote.

[17:13] They put a patient in a coma.

[17:15] And that's where I wrote in my notes.

[17:16] Lito's performance is sedate to comatose itself.

[17:19] Because this is a guy who's supposed to be kind of like a charismatic bad boy of medicine.

[17:23] And I don't know if you guys felt the same way.

[17:24] It's almost like he is already dead throughout the movie.

[17:28] He's so.

[17:28] His energy is so low.

[17:30] And I wondered if he.

[17:30] And not like Han Solo, who's charismatic and full of energy.

[17:33] His energy is so low.

[17:35] How low is it?

[17:37] That it's hard for him to carry a whole movie.

[17:40] And I wonder.

[17:41] Do you think he was doing this?

[17:42] Because we all know.

[17:43] We've all heard the stories.

[17:44] That he was so into this character.

[17:45] That he figured this character would have trouble going to the bathroom.

[17:48] So I will also have trouble going to the bathroom.

[17:50] And he was taking so long to go to the bathroom in between takes.

[17:53] That it was putting the movie behind schedule.

[17:55] So do you think that he was also like.

[17:57] This character would be very low energy.

[17:58] Because he doesn't have a lot of.

[18:00] Elliot.

Dan McCoy

[18:00] Elliot.

[18:01] Was that a.

[18:01] That's a true story.

[18:02] Okay.

[18:02] I have to check.

[18:03] He apparently would.

Elliott Kalan

[18:04] Couldn't tell him it was a joke about Jared Leto.

[18:07] Or a truth about Jared Leto.

[18:08] No.

[18:08] He would apparently.

Elliott Kalan

[18:08] I mean.

[18:08] This is just a story I heard.

[18:09] I wasn't there.

[18:09] He would apparently limp on his crutches to the bathroom.

[18:12] And I guess.

[18:13] You know.

[18:13] Close the door.

[18:13] Privacy.

[18:14] You know.

[18:14] And nobody knows what was going on there.

[18:16] But it was taking so long for him to go.

[18:18] Use the bathroom.

[18:19] And come back.

[18:19] That it was putting them behind schedule.

[18:20] And they had to come up with.

[18:21] They had to come up with a compromise.

[18:22] Which is someone would wheel him to the bathroom in a wheelchair.

Dan McCoy

[18:25] It just sounds like.

[18:26] I mean.

[18:26] Like you.

[18:27] As a man with two children.

[18:30] Probably understands the joy of going to the bathroom.

[18:32] And staying there for a while.

[18:33] Not.

[18:34] Oh yeah.

[18:34] By myself.

[18:35] Yes.

[18:35] Exactly.

[18:35] I thought you meant with them.

Elliott Kalan

[18:36] I thought you meant with them.

[18:37] When my child goes.

[18:38] My child who can use the bathroom by himself.

[18:40] Goes.

[18:40] Come with me to the bathroom.

[18:41] I want you in the room.

[18:42] But turn around.

[18:42] Don't look at me.

[18:43] No.

[18:43] It's like.

[18:44] This is weird.

[18:45] I'm saying.

[18:46] Before the show.

[18:46] I went to the bathroom.

[18:48] Oh yeah.

[18:48] Very much so.

[18:49] Yeah.

[18:49] Oh.

[18:49] I'd love to go in there.

[18:51] Read for a while.

[18:52] You know.

[18:53] Anyway.

[18:53] But that's besides the point.

[18:54] The point is.

[18:55] Guys.

[18:56] Why is Jared Leto so.

[18:57] So non-existent in this.

[18:58] I mean.

Stuart Wellington

[18:59] Maybe that's what he thinks a smart person does.

[19:01] Oh.

[19:02] Like maybe he thinks a smart person leans against stuff and closes their eyes a lot.

Elliott Kalan

[19:07] Okay.

[19:08] I believe it.

[19:09] Okay.

[19:09] The thing he leans on are crutches and his long hair and special effects.

[19:15] So Michael goes to visit his friend grown up Milo.

[19:18] Who he still calls Milo.

[19:19] And he's become kind of a decadent wastrel.

[19:21] Who's still attended to by Dr. Jared Harris.

Dan McCoy

[19:23] Played by a doctor.

[19:24] Who.

[19:25] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:25] That's true.

[19:26] That's what Matt Smith.

[19:27] Yep.

[19:28] Matt Smith.

[19:29] Yeah.

[19:29] And Milo tells Michael.

[19:31] Hey.

[19:32] Whatever you do.

[19:33] If you find a cure.

[19:34] I'm backing you 100% with my money.

[19:36] And Morbius is like.

[19:37] Well.

[19:37] It might not be technically legal what I'm doing.

[19:39] And he goes.

[19:40] Okay.

[19:40] I'll do it.

[19:41] You do whatever you need to.

[19:42] But don't fall in love.

[19:43] Hold on.

[19:43] Which is weird.

[19:44] Which seems like unnecessary advice.

Dan McCoy

[19:47] Not only does he say.

[19:49] It might not be technically legal.

[19:50] He's like.

[19:50] We need to do it in international waters.

[19:53] Yeah.

[19:54] Cut to a chiron of a ship.

[19:56] That says international waters.

[19:57] International waters.

[19:58] Now look.

[19:59] I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on maritime law.

[20:02] But.

Dan McCoy

[20:03] And the topic seems fairly complex.

[20:06] That's why there are people who go to law school for it.

Elliott Kalan

[20:08] There are people who specialize just in that kind of law.

[20:11] But in my.

[20:11] In the law about how much time it takes to marry somebody.

[20:14] In my cursory.

[20:16] My cursory Googling of international waters.

[20:20] I love.

[20:20] One half of the audience loved that joke.

[20:22] And the other half did not like it.

[20:23] Which makes.

[20:24] We're in Brooklyn.

[20:25] It's a port city.

[20:25] There's half of the people here work in the maritime industry.

[20:29] My.

[20:30] The stevedores were not happy.

[20:31] Yeah.

[20:31] They were over there.

Dan McCoy

[20:32] Frank Sabaka scowling at you.

[20:34] My brief research.

[20:37] Confirmed what I suspected to be true.

[20:39] Which is that.

[20:40] International waters is not the criminal's panacea.

[20:43] You're saying.

[20:45] That popular culture would have us believe that.

Elliott Kalan

[20:47] You're saying if they want to do this experiment.

[20:48] They would have to go on the money plane.

[20:50] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[20:53] I'm saying that if you commit a crime in international waters.

[20:57] You are subject to the laws of the country you're from.

[21:00] Oh.

[21:01] Oh.

[21:01] So.

[21:02] Well.

[21:02] So they're not trying to become a vampire out on a boat.

Stuart Wellington

[21:05] I guess I'm saying.

[21:06] So they're on a boat with a bunch of boat mercs.

[21:09] A bunch of mercs for some reason.

Elliott Kalan

[21:11] A bunch of mercs in case any pirates come by and say.

[21:13] I'm the captain now.

[21:14] They've got these mercenaries.

[21:15] And Michael Morby is a Martine.

[21:17] She's on board with the experiment now.

[21:18] Literally.

[21:19] And they mix the thing and the computer says success.

[21:21] Because I guess the computer knows.

[21:23] And they banter.

[21:25] And then he hands her an origami bat.

[21:27] And she injects him with the serum.

[21:28] And he starts convulsing like Norman Osborn.

[21:30] Inhaling goblin gas.

[21:31] And this crew member.

[21:33] Thank you.

[21:33] This merc.

[21:34] Thank you for putting it into words all in your scene.

[21:36] Yeah.

[21:36] I gotta.

[21:38] I'm like what movie is this Stuart scene?

[21:41] What in the story of Ricky O could be in this?

[21:43] And so a crew member.

[21:46] This crew member.

[21:46] Head of the family.

[21:47] Is there anything there?

[21:50] He almost gets the point of ripping his own ding dong off.

[21:52] Is that?

[21:53] Yeah.

[21:54] So this mercenary comes in and just starts harassing Martine.

[21:57] Which it's like these people hired you.

[21:59] What are you doing?

[22:00] Yes.

[22:00] And then they go into the Morbius room.

[22:02] He's not in his chair.

[22:04] He's hanging from the ceiling.

[22:05] And he's got fangs now.

[22:06] He turned into a vampire.

[22:07] And the crew member is like I'll shoot it.

[22:09] That doesn't work.

[22:10] And Morbius attacks him and bites him.

[22:11] He's gone feral.

[22:12] And he's just throwing himself around the cell.

[22:13] And the crew comes in.

[22:14] And they shove Martine to the floor.

[22:15] And she hits her head.

[22:17] And Morbius is just killing everybody in bullet time.

[22:18] And we get some cool Morb-eye view scenes.

[22:20] Yeah.

[22:21] As he's stalking the crew through the ship.

[22:23] But this is like the weird.

Dan McCoy

[22:24] Like the mercs are on the ship.

[22:26] Yeah.

[22:26] Let's be honest.

[22:27] So there's someone that Dr. Michael Morbius, the living vampire, can murder.

[22:32] Yes.

[22:32] That we don't feel all that bad about.

[22:34] Yeah.

[22:35] They're already bad dudes.

[22:36] Yeah.

[22:36] But it is so baffling to me.

[22:37] We saw them gambling.

Dan McCoy

[22:38] Because it's like isn't this your buddy Matt Smith's boat?

[22:42] Why do you have these angry men with automatic weapons who are arguing with you at all times?

[22:47] I mean.

[22:47] Anyway.

[22:48] It's a good question.

[22:49] I mean.

Stuart Wellington

[22:49] This is the first real action scene we see.

[22:51] So the action is there's a lot of like smoke trails coming off of Morbius.

[22:56] And he's both very fast and also very slow sometimes.

Elliott Kalan

[23:01] So he's constantly followed by these kind of either purple or black smoke trails depending

[23:05] on what he's wearing at the time.

[23:07] And I read or at least the Amazon Prime trivia told me it was loosely it was inspired by Pokemon

[23:12] movements.

[23:13] So.

[23:14] Because I got it.

[23:15] It makes sense because in this movie they got to catch them all all being vampires.

[23:19] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[23:19] I mean later on like later on we sort of are able to surmise that these like weird CGI trails

[23:25] are kind of his echolocation kind of like airflow around him.

[23:30] Yeah.

[23:30] Something like that.

[23:30] Yeah.

[23:31] And at times I honestly.

[23:33] He's not carbon neutral.

[23:34] Let's just say that.

[23:36] Honestly.

[23:37] There are a couple times where I thought this looks cool.

[23:40] And a lot of the time it looked like CGI mush.

[23:42] Yeah.

[23:43] Especially towards the end.

[23:43] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[23:44] One of his powers is he can do echolocation like a bat where he kind of zones out and his

[23:49] ears get little ripples.

[23:50] His ears get real wrinkly and ripply.

[23:52] Yeah.

[23:52] And it's kind of like it's basically detective mode from the Arkham games.

Elliott Kalan

[23:56] Yeah.

[23:57] He's.

[23:57] It's.

[23:58] We'll get to his full power set when he tells us about it.

[24:01] Oh I'm sorry.

[24:01] I spoiled.

[24:02] Anyway Morbius wakes up.

[24:04] And now he's back to normal.

[24:05] Except he's Jax now.

[24:07] He's no longer the frail Michael Morbius who looked like Samuel L. Jackson in Glass.

[24:10] Now he's like Michael Morbius who worked out for a movie role.

[24:14] And he finally puts on a shirt and he walks through the wreckage of the boat and checks

[24:18] Martine.

[24:18] He can hear her heartbeat and watches the security video of him killing everybody and is so sick

[24:23] and he throws up I assume the blood that he drank.

[24:25] And he calls for an emergency airlift but takes the vials of Batman serum.

[24:29] But they never say Batman in it.

[24:30] And that's.

[24:31] Here's where we get the stars of the movie.

[24:33] FBI agents Al Madrigal and Tyrese Gibson.

[24:35] And I will say this.

[24:37] Al Madrigal.

[24:38] Al Madrigal.

[24:38] Friend of the show.

[24:39] He's been on our podcast.

[24:40] I thought he came out probably the best of anyone in this movie.

[24:42] Yeah.

[24:42] He made a meal of this shit dude.

[24:43] He was.

[24:44] He had a bunch of funny jokes.

[24:45] He did not embarrass himself.

[24:47] I want to see more of him in the movie.

[24:48] Tyrese.

[24:50] Tyrese is fine.

[24:52] Tyrese is fine as the guy that Al says jokes to and he goes mm-hmm and then walks away.

Dan McCoy

[24:56] He's let down by being the tough cop whereas Al's the funny cop.

[25:01] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[25:01] And they're investigating to find out all the security footage was wiped and the bodies

[25:05] were drained of blood.

[25:06] Martine is the only survivor because Michael Morbius has disappeared.

[25:09] And Milo sees this story on the news.

Stuart Wellington

[25:11] I do like that the police are immediately like it's a vampire.

[25:14] Yeah.

[25:14] They do not.

[25:15] No question.

[25:16] They're immediately like it's a vampire.

[25:18] It's that dude.

Dan McCoy

[25:18] Put out an APB for a guy with a widow's peak who doesn't drink wine.

Stuart Wellington

[25:22] Let's get APB all points blade.

[25:24] If Jared Leto's walking around you're like it's that fucking dude.

[25:28] Like come on.

Elliott Kalan

[25:29] He does so much to make it obvious that he's a monster.

[25:32] He's always wearing like a hood real scary like and skulking around.

[25:36] But I did enjoy that that usually in horror movies there's the part where someone goes

[25:40] look these bodies were all drained of blood.

[25:42] It's a vampire.

[25:43] And they're like sure it is pal.

[25:45] Throw him in the crazy hatch.

[25:47] And then no you gotta believe me.

[25:48] And a vampire is a killing person after person.

[25:50] They're like what's going on here.

[25:52] But here yeah they're like it's a vampire.

[25:54] We've seen movies.

[25:55] We know vampires.

Stuart Wellington

[25:55] A fucking boat shows up with a bunch of boat mercs drained of blood.

Dan McCoy

[25:59] That's a Dracula move dude.

[26:00] That is Dracula.

Stuart Wellington

[26:01] That's how he shows up.

Dan McCoy

[26:02] There was a vampire in Brooklyn just last month.

Elliott Kalan

[26:06] Dan I hate to tell you it was actually almost 30 years ago.

[26:09] You're very old.

[26:10] How old am I?

[26:11] You age quite a bit.

[26:12] Oh god.

[26:13] My youth.

[26:14] It is pretty ballsy of them to have a boat full of dead bodies show up.

[26:18] Since that literally does happen in Dracula.

[26:20] Like I wish Al had just been holding the cliff notes of Dracula and put them down and was

[26:23] like seems like a vampire alright.

[26:26] It all fits.

[26:27] And Milo sees us on the news and is like that's my boat.

[26:30] And so Morbius he goes to his lab.

[26:33] The serum is wearing off which leaves him weak.

[26:35] And he's drinking bags of artificial blood for strength.

[26:38] He has this overpowering urge to drink blood.

[26:40] And he tells us in voiceover because I guess he started a journal that when he drinks blood

[26:44] he feels physical.

[26:45] Yeah he like talks into his little vape pen.

[26:47] Yeah.

[26:48] He's physically strong and he parkours around his office and he's got he can hang upside down

[26:52] like a bat and the bats welcome him he says like a brother which is ridiculous.

[26:57] And he's got echolocation now like Stuart says he has kind of ruffles ears and stuff.

[27:02] But the artificial blood is losing its effectiveness for him.

[27:05] Soon he'll have to choose between drinking the blue the artificial blood or the red.

[27:09] The blood of real live people who have blood in them.

[27:12] It's always about politics huh?

[27:15] Yeah.

[27:16] And Milo goes to Michael's lab and Michael's like I need some blood.

[27:20] I'm real jonesing for it.

[27:21] And Milo's like hey here's some fake blood.

[27:23] Wow you're strong.

[27:24] Have you been working out?

[27:25] And he goes I want that cure too.

[27:27] And Morbius goes no it's not a cure.

[27:28] It's a curse.

[27:29] Go.

[27:30] But later that night a nurse is attacked by something vampirey in the hospital which also

[27:34] sometimes seems to have the power to make the lights flicker on and off.

[27:36] Well so.

[27:37] So is the vampire just standing there pressing the switch?

Dan McCoy

[27:39] It's like it's like you know power saving lights.

[27:44] It's supposed to like follow you as you go down the hall and turn off.

[27:48] That part makes sense.

[27:49] But then later on like all of the lights just sort of shut down even though they're still

[27:55] like the vampire's still eating her.

[27:57] So I don't know.

[27:58] The answer is the director thought it would look cool.

Elliott Kalan

[28:01] I like how you started out kind of explaining it being like it's okay and then you end up

[28:04] admitting that it didn't make any sense.

[28:05] No no no none of that made sense.

Stuart Wellington

[28:07] It sounds like you're explaining it to the victim before they get killed by a vampire.

[28:11] Like don't don't worry about that you'll be fine.

Dan McCoy

[28:13] Don't worry you'll look really cool.

Elliott Kalan

[28:14] The lights are not your real issue.

[28:16] Don't worry about them there's a vampire stalking you.

[28:19] So the next day Morbius is at work or something and he hears people going hey they found this

[28:24] nurse's body drained of blood and he's like oh oh oh.

[28:27] And Al and Tyrese try to arrest him but he escapes by climbing up the inside of a big

[28:32] Guggenheim style stairwell.

[28:33] And then he goes to the roof and then I couldn't quite understand this.

[28:36] He almost gets blown off the roof.

[28:37] What was this supposed like by what wind?

[28:39] What was this telling us?

Stuart Wellington

[28:40] Yeah I mean I think he like later on he flies on wind like a vampire does.

Elliott Kalan

[28:45] But was this trying to be like his bones are lighter now so he can't stand up to the wind

[28:49] as well on this roof.

[28:50] Probably.

[28:52] It's just a very it makes him look like a real wuss.

[28:54] And especially because Tyrese catches him.

Stuart Wellington

[28:58] My one weakness wind.

[28:59] Yeah.

[29:00] So he runs away from the police and then the next time we see him he's in like a maximum

[29:05] security prison and I'm like that guy almost got a fucking Nobel Prize and they don't have

[29:10] any actual evidence against him right?

[29:12] Other than the fact that he did it because he's a creepy vampire.

Elliott Kalan

[29:16] The evidence I guess.

[29:17] Okay.

[29:18] What.

[29:18] Let's say we're the we're the DA.

[29:20] We're making the case against Michael Morbius.

[29:22] Okay.

[29:22] So we know Michael Morbius is a creepy weirdo with a tube full of bats.

[29:26] It's a weird game of penis right we're playing.

[29:27] Okay.

[29:27] Yeah.

[29:28] And and we know that a nurse that works with Michael Morbius has been drained of blood.

[29:32] Who are the suspects?

[29:34] There's a guy with a big tube of bats.

[29:35] So let's start with him.

[29:37] I don't know who our other suspects are because there's almost no other cast members.

[29:40] At a certain point we have to start suspecting the FBI agents because they're the only

[29:44] ones left in the cast.

Dan McCoy

[29:45] I mean I think that what's his face.

[29:49] Jared Harris.

[29:50] You know he as far as I recall he's Moriarty.

[29:53] So he might be.

Elliott Kalan

[29:54] Okay.

[29:54] Fair.

[29:55] Okay.

[29:55] Cool.

[29:56] And he's also you know a Russian nuclear physicist.

[29:59] So that's yeah that's hard.

[30:01] And but yeah you're right.

[30:01] Other than the fact that Morbius is a possibly known vampire.

[30:04] Jared Leto.

Stuart Wellington

[30:05] It's just kind of wild that he is immediately in prison.

Dan McCoy

[30:08] Yeah.

[30:09] And.

[30:09] Yeah.

[30:10] America's most beloved citizen.

[30:12] Dr. Michael Morbius under arrest tonight.

Elliott Kalan

[30:14] But it's such a great story.

[30:16] Nobel rejecting scientist.

[30:18] Arrested for vampire murder.

[30:20] Oh.

[30:21] It's like.

[30:22] The headlines write itself.

[30:23] That's the headline.

[30:24] Anyway.

[30:24] It didn't write itself.

[30:25] I said it.

[30:25] But you know what I mean.

[30:26] So Morbius.

[30:29] He.

[30:29] So he's he's in jail and he's like the fake blood isn't working.

[30:32] I don't know what to do.

[30:32] And the FBI agents interrogate him.

[30:34] And and Jared Leto's going feral.

[30:36] And he's like I'm hungry.

[30:38] You don't want to see me when I'm hungry.

[30:39] Which is like I guess they're a little joke version of the Hulk's angry line.

[30:43] Yeah.

[30:43] But it's.

[30:43] He should have said hangry.

[30:45] Yeah.

[30:45] He should have said you wouldn't like me when I'm hangry.

[30:48] And and then Tyrese would be like what's that.

[30:50] And I'll be like it's the thing that kids say.

[30:51] It's hungry and angry together.

[30:53] You're so hungry that you're angry.

[30:54] So this fantasy version.

[30:55] Why would you just say angry.

Dan McCoy

[30:56] You're explaining slang to Tyrese.

[30:58] Al is explaining slang slang to Tyrese.

Elliott Kalan

[31:00] Okay.

[31:01] Tyrese.

[31:01] Considering all respect to Tyrese.

[31:02] He is a man who saw a fake Martin Scorsese quote saying that Morbius had changed his mind

[31:06] about superhero movies being cinema.

[31:08] Retweeted it and then had to take it down.

[31:10] It was revealed to him that it was a fake.

[31:12] That makes me feel sad.

[31:14] It is a little sad.

[31:16] That makes me feel sad.

[31:16] It shows a fair amount of misunderstanding of Martin Scorsese's thinking.

[31:20] But you know.

[31:21] Anyway.

[31:22] Milo goes to visit Morbius.

[31:24] And Morbius is like maybe I did kill her.

[31:25] And Milo's like there's no way you did it.

[31:27] There's no way you did it.

[31:28] And then he leaves and throws his cane away and stops limping.

[31:30] Because he obviously did it.

[31:32] Like he's a vampire now.

Stuart Wellington

[31:33] He leaves a blood bag and his cane.

[31:36] And the corrections officer's like I don't know.

[31:38] Fucking care.

[31:38] Yeah.

[31:39] In Morbius itself.

Dan McCoy

[31:41] They don't pay me enough.

[31:42] I could understand if the guard is going to overlook a bag of fake blood.

[31:47] Because maybe they're going to have a prank show.

[31:49] But a cane.

[31:50] A heavy tipped cane has been left behind.

[31:52] He's like I don't know.

[31:53] Whatever.

Stuart Wellington

[31:54] Oh this guy's got to do a Kaiser Sose thing and walk away.

Elliott Kalan

[31:58] Milo's like I'm his lawyer.

[31:59] I'll go in.

[32:00] And I guess they never check to see if he's a lawyer or anything like that.

[32:04] Like this.

[32:04] Anyway.

[32:05] Yeah.

[32:05] He obviously.

[32:06] Even Morbius at this point.

[32:07] I was watching it.

[32:07] I'm like how long is it going to take moron Morbius to realize Milo did it.

[32:11] But Morbius realizes it instantly.

[32:13] He drinks the blood Milo behind.

[32:14] Turns into a vampire.

[32:15] And just smashes through the wall.

[32:17] Because vampires can smash through cement.

[32:19] He tracks Milo down and finds him right after Milo eats a news vendor who's mildly rude to him.

[32:24] And Milo's like yeah I killed that nurse.

[32:26] Anyway.

[32:27] Morbius embrace being a vampire.

[32:29] It's totes cool.

[32:30] Because this is what vampire movies about white people are about.

[32:34] As I said in my presentation before the show.

[32:36] Listeners of the podcast.

[32:36] You missed it.

[32:37] White people vampire movies are about how it's kind of cool and sexy to be like a criminal vampire who drinks blood.

[32:43] And is kind of damned but kind of cool.

[32:45] Because you know you're kind of getting.

[32:46] You're going to get forgiven for it later when you get a job at your dad's company or whatever.

[32:50] So.

[32:51] It's fine.

[32:51] You can be a vampire for a little bit and sow your wild blood oats and then go away.

[32:55] But they do a vampire fight which leads them into a subway station labeled Front Street.

Stuart Wellington

[33:00] It's a very New York style London subway station.

Elliott Kalan

[33:03] But with its curved tunnel and British style escalators it is really a.

[33:07] It's an amazingly New York.

[33:08] There's a crumpet selling station.

[33:12] The fact that as they're fighting they pass Paddington only proves that it's a New York station.

Dan McCoy

[33:17] Would you like some marmalade on your ticket as is traditional here in New York City?

Stuart Wellington

[33:23] If Paddington had been there it would have raised the fucking stakes so high because I would have been like don't touch that beautiful bed.

Elliott Kalan

[33:29] I mean almost every action movie the stakes are higher.

[33:33] Paddington's there.

[33:35] Look the convicts have taken over the plane and Paddington's on that plane.

[33:42] The plane's full of snakes and Paddington.

[33:43] The only good thing in this world Paddington.

[33:46] Why is someone selling Paddington plane tickets?

[33:49] The president's plane is being taken over by terrorists and Paddington is on that plane.

Stuart Wellington

[33:54] And we're in the movie theater and Elliot's like Stuart where are you going?

[33:57] And I'm like I gotta get on that fucking plane.

Elliott Kalan

[34:01] Gotta save that beautiful bear.

Dan McCoy

[34:03] Just like Mark Wahlberg if I was there.

[34:07] Nothing would happen.

Elliott Kalan

[34:09] A lot of bad behavior we're referring to tonight.

[34:12] Okay so a lot of bad boys in the literal sense of doing bad things when they were boys.

[34:17] So okay.

[34:18] So they're fighting.

[34:19] They're in this very fake New York station which they didn't even give the name of a real subway station.

[34:23] Front Street is a real street.

[34:24] It used to be the eastern part of the island.

[34:27] That was cool.

Dan McCoy

[34:27] Until the landfill filled in and created more of a downtown.

[34:30] Anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[34:31] But they don't have a station there.

[34:33] Anyway.

[34:33] And Milo fights some cops for a minute.

[34:35] And then he monologues for a little bit.

[34:36] And Morbius is like I'm gonna cure you.

[34:38] They're about to find a platform.

[34:39] When Morbius realizes something.

[34:41] Wind.

[34:42] The kind of wind that comes when a train is coming into the tunnel.

[34:45] And he stands there for seemingly 17 hours.

[34:48] Putting his hand into the wind to kind of gauge the aerodynamics.

[34:52] And then he just suddenly glides away on the wind in front of the subway train.

[34:56] And it looks so silly.

[34:58] It looks so ridiculous.

Dan McCoy

[34:59] Like a human leaf.

[35:01] I'm gonna snopes this and tell the audience that human beings are not shaped properly to take advantage of Bernoulli's principle.

[35:10] Okay.

[35:11] We will not cause lift and we cannot glide on the wind like a leaf.

[35:16] Just in case you want to try this.

[35:17] Don't try it.

[35:18] At home.

[35:19] You will fall to the ground and die.

Elliott Kalan

[35:20] When you're on the subway platform tonight and you feel that wind coming.

[35:23] That beautiful wind.

[35:24] Step back.

[35:25] Please stand away from the platform edge.

[35:27] Do that right off the bat.

[35:28] A helpful voice will tell you the same thing in kind of a passive aggressive way.

[35:33] And then do not really fight the urge to jump in front of that train and fly home.

[35:37] Because it is not gonna work out well for you.

[35:41] You will go home but only in the way that sailors drowning.

[35:45] Only the way that sailors were drowning say it feels like going home.

Dan McCoy

[35:49] Like a spiritual will speak of talking.

[35:51] Yeah, yeah.

[35:51] Going home.

Elliott Kalan

[35:52] You'll go home to the creator.

[35:53] Yeah, you won't go to your apartment.

[35:56] And your cat will be like, where is this guy?

[36:00] He should have the decency to die in his home so I can eat him.

[36:03] Dan, you beat me to it.

[36:05] You beat me to it by half a second.

[36:06] No, I'm proud of you.

[36:07] Anyway, so.

[36:09] So, uh.

[36:10] Morbius finds Martine and he fills her in and he's like, hey, I'm a vampire now.

[36:13] And while they're at a cafe or a diner or something, he overhears some thugs talking about crime.

[36:18] And then he follows them to an underground science crime lab and throws them all out and makes it his own crime lab.

[36:26] And this scene raises so many questions about how the world of Morbius works.

[36:29] Morbius works.

Dan McCoy

[36:30] He's not a counterfeiting lab, but he's going to use it for biological science.

Stuart Wellington

[36:33] Yeah.

[36:34] The thugs are trying to pass a counterfeit hundred and the woman wearing the register is like, this is fake, I can't take it.

[36:39] He's like, well, how about you take one for yourself?

[36:41] And I'm like, that one's fake too, dude.

[36:44] This one.

[36:44] She just doesn't want trouble.

Elliott Kalan

[36:46] Then you take this one.

[36:47] It's totally real.

[36:47] Don't use the pen on it.

[36:48] Done.

[36:49] Sir, it has a picture of William Franks on it.

[36:52] This is not a real.

[36:55] Anyway, so.

[36:55] Is that Top Cat?

[36:57] This is.

[36:58] Oh, but when he takes over.

[37:00] My buddy John Lithgow thinks you should take it.

[37:04] Nothing but respect for my president.

[37:06] It's not on money.

[37:06] I don't understand.

Stuart Wellington

[37:08] You know, when they take over this, when they take over the printing press lab, he does the bit from the trailer where the thug whose hand is being shattered is like, who are you?

[37:19] And he says, I'm Venom.

[37:21] And in the trailer, he's like, ha ha, I'm actually Michael Morbius.

[37:24] But that isn't in the movie.

[37:25] No.

[37:25] So he just tells the guy he's Venom and that's it.

Elliott Kalan

[37:28] And it doesn't make sense.

[37:29] I know.

[37:29] So that guy thinks Venom came in and bothered him.

[37:31] He's like, Venom flew all the way across the country.

[37:33] And there's the other earlier, Al's like, this is weird.

[37:36] Like that thing in San Francisco.

[37:37] And it was like, oh, I get it.

[37:39] Venom, wink, wink.

[37:39] And he just says, I'm Venom.

[37:40] It's like, all right.

[37:41] Well, then why were they beating around the bush earlier?

[37:43] I don't.

[37:43] But yeah, so now he's stolen a crime lab.

[37:46] I mean, he killed a bunch of people on a boat.

[37:48] He's stolen a crime lab.

[37:49] He's unfairly cast aspersions at Venom.

[37:52] Very difficult.

[37:54] And meanwhile, Venom's having troubles of his own on the other side of the country,

[37:58] dealing with Woody Harrelson's wig.

[38:00] So anyway.

[38:02] And Milo threatens Martine at the lab.

[38:05] So Martine goes to Michael Morbius's crime lab,

[38:07] which I guess he sent her an address change note,

[38:10] so she would know to go there.

[38:11] And she cuts herself, and he smells it.

[38:14] And he's tempted by her blood.

[38:15] And so they go up to the roof and kiss,

[38:17] because she's turned on by his bloodlust.

[38:19] He says it awakens a primal hunger in him.

[38:21] And she goes, me too.

[38:22] She doesn't really say me too, but you know.

[38:24] And then they get Burger King together.

[38:25] And then they get, yeah, the primal hunger for Burger King.

[38:28] Why don't we have it our way?

[38:31] And they go, do you want soda with that?

[38:34] And he goes, I don't drink soda.

[38:37] Unless I can use the cup to mix all the different sodas in the dispenser together.

[38:41] Not even diet soda?

[38:43] No, studies have shown that it also contributes to obesity.

[38:47] It's still not as good for you as water.

[38:50] Okay, but if you press the water thing, it's in the Minute Maid,

[38:53] so you're still going to get a little bit of juice in there.

[38:54] Oh!

[38:56] All right, I'll take a two-liter soda.

[38:58] He turned into Max one side-out by the end.

[39:00] Yeah, love it.

[39:03] It's just him in that movie where he moves to the United States and settles a farm.

[39:09] What's it called?

[39:10] Strange Brew.

[39:11] No, that's not, it's neither of those.

[39:12] Never mind.

[39:13] Okay, so the FBI agents, they see the surveillance video of the killing.

[39:16] They see it's Milo, not Morbius.

[39:18] Great, Morbius didn't clear his name.

[39:20] Modern technology did.

Stuart Wellington

[39:20] It's one of those things where they pull up the CCTV footage,

[39:24] and they're like, computer enhanced,

[39:25] and it's this perfect image of Matt Smith,

[39:27] who we had previously seen dancing.

[39:29] Did we talk about him dancing?

Elliott Kalan

[39:30] No, we have, so we haven't yet got to the,

[39:34] oh, did we skip the dancing scene?

Stuart Wellington

[39:35] He's fucking feeling himself.

[39:38] Oh, baby.

[39:39] Oh, you know what?

[39:39] Because he's like fucking dancing with his shirt off.

[39:42] Let's talk about this.

[39:43] The thing is, his clothes still fit,

[39:44] even though he's way more jacked.

Elliott Kalan

[39:46] Here's the thing, here's the thing.

[39:47] So, one, he's very rich.

[39:48] He could have had them tailored that day.

[39:49] That's true.

[39:50] Milo, he's exercising, he's dancing,

[39:52] and then every now and then he just throws him in front of the mirror

[39:54] like a vampire face, like,

[39:55] into the mirror.

[39:56] Like, he's like a kid getting ready for the prom.

Stuart Wellington

[39:59] He's constantly fucking face morphing.

[40:01] It's crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[40:03] I will say, okay, let's take a moment to talk about the face.

Stuart Wellington

[40:04] So, is that science or magic?

[40:08] Because it happens really fast.

[40:09] I mean, it's the science of special effects

Elliott Kalan

[40:10] that make his face morph like that.

[40:12] What do you mean in the movie?

[40:13] Yeah, I mean, in the movie.

[40:14] There's no...

[40:15] It's supposed to be magic or science.

[40:16] There's no magic mentioned in the movie,

[40:18] so you gotta say...

[40:18] So, it's supposed to be real...

[40:19] It's supposed to be science.

[40:19] They can morph that fast.

[40:20] Yeah, it's how bat, vampire bat DNA,

Dan McCoy

[40:23] vampire bats morph their faces all the time.

Elliott Kalan

[40:25] Yeah, that's why vampire bats,

[40:28] they go...

[40:28] And they morph their teeth?

[40:30] Yeah.

[40:31] No, they don't morph their teeth.

[40:32] Vampire bats have the same teeth all the time.

[40:34] They don't even have fangs.

[40:36] They have kind of little saws

[40:37] that they use to cut open cow necks,

[40:39] and they lap up the blood.

[40:40] They don't even suck the blood.

[40:41] They just lap it up,

[40:42] like a cat.

[40:43] Again, cats.

[40:44] Anyway, so...

[40:45] Milo is really feeling so...

[40:48] Let's talk about the CGI effects,

[40:50] because I actually thought

[40:51] they did a really good job

[40:52] with the CGI face effects in this.

[40:54] I'll give the effects people credit.

[40:56] By the end of the movie,

[40:57] as with all action movies,

[40:59] the effects kind of fall apart a little bit.

[41:00] But early on,

[41:02] I was like,

[41:02] they're doing a good job

[41:03] of giving him a little Morbius no-nos,

[41:05] because Morbius the Connors

[41:06] doesn't have a nose.

[41:07] Yeah, there's no nose.

Dan McCoy

[41:07] Is that your alified no-nos?

Elliott Kalan

[41:10] This week's alified no-no.

[41:12] Look, use CGI

[41:12] to take someone's nose off their face.

[41:14] Don't do it the Roman Plansky way

[41:15] and just cut it with a knife,

[41:17] because that's not okay.

[41:18] He does that in Chinatown.

Dan McCoy

[41:19] Yeah, it's hot on this stage.

[41:21] All right.

[41:22] I assume it's also hot in the audience.

[41:24] All right.

Elliott Kalan

[41:24] So the FBI's like,

[41:26] hey, it's Milo.

[41:27] It's not Morbius,

[41:28] which is,

[41:28] they shouldn't show up on cameras

[41:29] if they're really vampires,

[41:30] but I guess they didn't...

[41:31] They're living vampires, Elliot.

Dan McCoy

[41:33] Good point.

[41:34] Good point.

Elliott Kalan

[41:35] It's also one of those movies

[41:36] where the cops are like,

[41:37] how are we going to see who did this?

[41:38] And Tyrese looks up

[41:38] and sees a security camera

[41:40] and goes,

[41:40] closed-circuit TV.

[41:42] It's like,

[41:42] yeah,

[41:42] that's the first thing

[41:43] you should check, dude.

[41:44] But Jared Harris sees the news

[41:46] and they talk about Morbius

[41:47] and in the news they say,

[41:49] dubbed the vampire killer.

[41:50] And I was like,

[41:51] say dubbed the living vampire.

[41:53] It's his name.

[41:54] Like, that's his tagline.

[41:56] But anyway,

[41:57] Jared Harris goes to Milo

[41:58] and says,

[41:59] hey,

[41:59] I can help you.

[42:00] And Milo's like,

[42:01] I want to help.

[42:01] I'm a vampire.

[42:02] And he slashes Jared Harris' belly

[42:03] and roars a bunch.

Stuart Wellington

[42:04] He hits him with his sonic boom punch.

[42:07] He has this special move

[42:08] where he punches you

[42:09] and then like,

[42:10] sound radiates.

[42:11] Yeah,

[42:11] because sound,

Elliott Kalan

[42:12] because bats.

[42:13] And so,

[42:14] and Martine and Morbius,

[42:15] they create an antibody

[42:16] that kills bats and humans.

[42:17] We would just call that poison.

[42:19] But,

[42:19] but I guess you need

[42:21] special science for it.

[42:22] And then he makes two shots,

[42:24] one for Milo

[42:25] and one for himself

[42:25] because by tomorrow

[42:26] he's going to need human blood.

[42:28] And Jared Harris is like,

[42:29] Morbius,

[42:29] come find me.

[42:30] And Morbius goes

[42:30] and Jared Harris is dying there.

[42:32] And then Morbius,

[42:33] using his super hearing,

[42:34] he picks up Milo

[42:35] threatening Martine

[42:36] and he casts

[42:37] an echolocation wave

[42:39] over the entire

[42:40] island of Manhattan

[42:41] and manages to narrow

[42:43] target in

[42:44] on Martine's heartbeat

[42:45] on top of a building.

[42:46] That's nuts.

[42:48] And so,

[42:48] and he's all morbed up now

[42:49] and he leaps up

[42:50] and he glides

[42:50] across the updrafts

[42:52] of the city

[42:52] trailing purple magic smoke

[42:54] like just the,

[42:55] just the pot dream he is.

[42:58] But it's,

[42:59] and she goes there

[42:59] and she's like,

[43:00] drink my blood,

[43:01] make my death mean

[43:02] something.

[43:02] And he's like,

[43:02] no, no.

[43:03] And he kisses her

[43:03] and she bites his lip

[43:04] but then he gets her blood

[43:06] and he drinks,

[43:07] and she dies.

[43:07] Yeah, he gets a,

[43:08] he gets a,

Dan McCoy

[43:09] there's like a bit

[43:09] of splashback.

[43:10] There's some CGI blood

[43:11] that involves her mouth.

[43:12] Now, Elliot,

[43:12] when you're watching this,

[43:13] did you start singing

[43:14] to yourself,

[43:16] feed on me

[43:17] when you're not strong.

[43:20] I, I didn't.

[43:22] You drink my blood.

[43:23] No, that's very good.

[43:24] It helps you carry on.

[43:26] No, I didn't start singing that.

[43:28] Elliot,

Stuart Wellington

[43:28] did you start singing,

[43:29] this turd is a vampire.

[43:32] There, there, there, there, there, there, there.

[43:34] Set to suck.

Elliott Kalan

[43:37] Yeah.

[43:37] And he roars

[43:38] and he's going to go out

[43:39] and Milo's applauding.

[43:40] He's right there

[43:41] and they fight.

[43:42] They plummet off a building

[43:42] through a construction site.

[43:44] This building they're flumming through

[43:45] is roughly 4,000 feet tall

[43:46] and then they smash through the ground

[43:48] and fall another 4,000 feet.

[43:50] Yeah,

[43:50] like a weird cave underneath.

[43:52] It's like a sewer canyon.

[43:53] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[43:54] Now I got to tell you, Elliot,

[43:55] when we watched this this afternoon,

[43:57] the,

[43:58] we couldn't figure out

[43:59] how to dim the lights

[43:59] in the room we were in

[44:00] so this was all just like

[44:01] a mishmash.

[44:02] You couldn't figure out that.

Elliott Kalan

[44:02] How to hit the lights.

[44:03] Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

[44:05] It's Metallica.

[44:05] Anyway, so.

Dan McCoy

[44:06] Yeah, you felt left out

[44:07] when we were singing that.

Elliott Kalan

[44:08] Yeah, I did.

[44:08] I did.

[44:09] Anyway, so I,

[44:10] so maybe this is a great climax.

[44:13] Dan Stewart,

[44:13] they watched it without me

[44:14] this afternoon

[44:15] because I had family stuff to do.

[44:16] I watched it on my own,

[44:17] again, on an iPad

[44:18] while doing the dishes.

[44:19] So maybe this is,

[44:20] maybe this is a beautifully

[44:21] wrought action scene.

Dan McCoy

[44:22] it was all equally incoherent.

[44:24] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[44:25] There's a lot of fighting

[44:26] and there's blah, blah

[44:27] and there's smoke everywhere

[44:28] until finally,

[44:29] Michael screams so loud

[44:31] that it lets out an energy wave

[44:33] that attracts a huge horde of bats

[44:35] who surround him

[44:36] and lift him up.

[44:37] Wait, his brothers?

[44:37] Yeah, his brothers.

[44:38] And I guess,

[44:39] and they give him strength

[44:41] and this would make so much more sense

[44:42] if it was magic.

[44:43] Like, but it's not.

[44:44] It's science.

[44:45] So it's kind of the way that like,

[44:46] I guess when you're psyching up

[44:47] for like a varsity football game,

[44:49] like your team brothers

[44:50] all circle around

[44:51] and you're like,

[44:51] do it, do it, yeah,

[44:52] you can do it, you know.

[44:54] It does,

[44:54] I assume they do that.

[44:55] I didn't play football,

[44:55] but anyway.

[44:57] And again,

[44:58] if it would be mad,

[44:59] if he was magically connected

[45:00] to bats,

[45:00] it would make sense.

[45:01] It doesn't.

[45:01] It's all science.

[45:02] And Michael attacks Milo

[45:04] with his last furious bat strength

[45:05] and he stabs him

[45:06] with the killer serum

[45:07] and Morbius sadly devamps

[45:09] as his friend dies.

[45:11] And the cops and FBI

[45:11] show up at this big hole

[45:13] in the street they made

[45:13] and it looks so much

[45:14] like they showed up

[45:15] in the Bob's Burgers movie

[45:16] and I wish it was

[45:19] just a little crossword

[45:20] and a huge tornado

[45:21] of bats emerges.

[45:22] Who knew there were

[45:23] so many vampire bats

[45:24] in the sewer canyons

[45:25] of New York?

[45:26] I guess there are.

[45:28] And Martine opens up her eyes.

[45:29] She's now a vampire.

[45:31] And Morbius flies up

[45:32] into the sky

[45:32] and then straight

[45:33] into the camera.

[45:34] Credits.

[45:35] Movie over.

[45:36] Thus begins

[45:36] movie number two.

[45:39] Because, okay,

[45:40] the credits start

[45:41] and this is among the,

[45:42] some of the decisions

[45:43] made in Morbius

[45:44] are baffling.

[45:44] Some are not baffling.

[45:46] This is the most baffling

[45:47] to me.

[45:47] It's the first mid-credits scene.

[45:49] There's two scenes

[45:49] during the credits.

[45:50] Yes.

[45:51] And it is,

[45:51] it feels like nothing more

[45:53] than that.

[45:53] The second episode

[45:54] of the Morbius TV show,

[45:56] a couple scenes

[45:56] were tacked onto this one

[45:58] to bring it to feature length.

Stuart Wellington

[45:59] Because this Batman movie

[46:01] already has one Joker.

[46:03] Now it needs

[46:04] a second Batman, baby.

Elliott Kalan

[46:06] Yeah.

[46:07] So that's,

[46:07] because we see

[46:08] as the vulture,

[46:09] Michael Keaton

[46:10] from Spider-Man

[46:11] coming home again,

[46:12] is,

[46:13] he teleports,

[46:14] he teleports

[46:14] into a prison cell

[46:15] and he goes,

[46:16] oh, the food's better here

[46:17] or something.

[46:18] He instantly understands

[46:19] that he's in another universe.

[46:20] It's a fucking laugh line.

[46:21] Like, it's amazing.

[46:22] Huge laugh line.

[46:22] The crowd loses their minds.

[46:23] And the news is,

[46:24] and the news is going,

[46:25] a hearing has been set

[46:26] for the man

[46:27] who calls himself

[46:27] Adrian Toomes

[46:28] who somehow mysteriously

[46:30] appeared in a prison cell

[46:31] but of course

[46:31] not belonging to this universe.

[46:33] There are no crimes

[46:34] on his docket.

[46:35] So why would we keep him

[46:36] in the prison?

[46:37] We don't know.

[46:38] And they let him go.

[46:39] And you're like,

[46:40] what does that have to do

[46:40] with Michael Morbius?

[46:41] That's really weird.

[46:42] This guy from another dimension.

[46:43] I don't understand.

[46:44] I mean,

[46:44] I love to see Michael Keaton

[46:45] always.

[46:45] It's like, you know,

[46:46] and he's playing his character

[46:47] a bird man,

[46:48] best picture winning movie.

[46:49] And so,

[46:50] he's played a Batman.

[46:53] He's played a man

[46:54] who played a bird man

[46:54] and he finally played a bird man.

[46:56] And so,

[46:56] then we get

[46:57] credit scene number two

[46:58] where Morbius drives,

[46:59] he's driving fast

[47:00] down a rural highway.

[47:01] All charges dropped.

[47:03] He's a legal vampire now.

[47:04] It's like the end

[47:04] of Short Circuit 2.

[47:05] He's the first vampire citizen,

[47:06] I guess.

[47:07] And he stops

[47:09] and he checks his watch.

[47:10] Someone's late

[47:11] to the meeting

[47:11] and he morbs up

[47:12] as the vulture,

[47:13] Michael Keaton,

[47:14] in full armor

[47:15] with a mask on.

[47:16] So it's probably not

[47:17] Michael Keaton there

[47:17] but it is his voice.

[47:18] I want to pause here

Dan McCoy

[47:19] to say something

[47:19] very nerdy.

[47:20] He swoops in

[47:21] using his normal vulture suit

[47:23] which I'm like,

[47:24] well,

[47:24] how do you get

[47:25] his hands on?

[47:25] He built it,

[47:25] Dan.

[47:26] He built another one.

[47:26] But that's like

[47:27] from fucking Chitauri

[47:28] tech that he got

[47:30] because he was part

[47:31] of the clean up team

[47:33] when the Avengers,

[47:36] you know,

[47:36] you know what I'm talking about.

[47:37] This is space technology.

[47:39] So in this one

Elliott Kalan

[47:40] he used Atari tech.

[47:42] Dan,

[47:42] you just watched

[47:43] the Morbius movie.

[47:44] You're going to quibble

[47:46] with how a guy

[47:46] built it.

[47:47] I said it was goddamn nerdy, Elliot.

[47:49] Good point.

[47:49] Fair point.

[47:50] You're right.

[47:50] You inoculated yourself

[47:52] against criticism.

[47:53] I'm just saying

Dan McCoy

[47:54] this opens up

Elliott Kalan

[47:55] a lot of questions.

[47:56] It does open up

[47:56] a lot of questions.

[47:57] And Vulture shows up

[47:59] and what's really funny

[48:01] is they were clearly

[48:02] not in the same place.

[48:04] When this is shot

[48:04] he's like,

[48:05] either that

[48:05] or Jarrett Leto

[48:06] has taken

[48:07] not reacting

[48:08] with the same level

[48:09] that his co-performer

[48:10] has to an amazing

[48:12] new degree.

[48:13] Because a guy

[48:15] with huge turbine wings

[48:18] has just landed

[48:18] in front of him.

[48:19] And Morbius was like,

[48:20] hey, what's up?

[48:21] And Vulture says,

[48:23] hey, I think

[48:24] we should team up.

[48:25] And Morbius goes,

[48:26] intriguing.

[48:27] Cut to credits.

Dan McCoy

[48:27] Why would this

[48:28] be intriguing?

Elliott Kalan

[48:30] He's not a superhero.

[48:32] He's not a supervillain.

[48:33] He's a doctor

[48:34] who's also a vampire.

[48:36] Why would it be intriguing

[48:37] to team up for once?

[48:39] It's intriguing

[48:39] because he's neither

[48:40] a criminal,

Dan McCoy

[48:41] there's six movies

Elliott Kalan

[48:43] that Sony wants to do

[48:44] for some reason.

[48:45] Are they going to

[48:45] co-author a paper

[48:47] on something?

[48:49] Yeah.

[48:50] I guess we'll find out

[48:51] the answers

[48:51] whenever the Craven movie

[48:52] comes out.

[48:53] But it was such,

[48:55] there was almost part of me

[48:56] that was like,

[48:57] movie,

[48:57] you made yourself worthwhile

[48:58] by having the most

[48:59] baffling scene

[49:00] I've ever seen.

[49:01] Where it was like,

[49:02] yeah,

[49:02] these characters show up

[49:03] in each other's movies

[49:04] and then they hint

[49:05] that they're going to be

[49:05] in a movie together

[49:06] without ever wondering

[49:07] why these characters

[49:08] would show up

[49:08] in each other's movies

[49:09] or be in a movie together.

Dan McCoy

[49:10] These Sony post-credit

[49:11] scenes are nutty.

[49:13] So we've gone short

[49:15] on this one so far?

[49:16] We're going to do

[49:17] our final judgments

[49:18] whether there's

[49:19] a good bad movie,

[49:19] a bad bad movie

[49:20] or a movie we kind of like

[49:22] and I'll tell you something,

[49:23] there's no video

[49:26] to cover this

[49:27] in the way that we do

[49:28] when we do streaming shows

[49:29] but I'm going to run

[49:30] and pee

[49:30] as you give your

[49:31] final judgments.

[49:32] I'm sorry.

[49:33] Wow.

[49:33] I just really need to.

Elliott Kalan

[49:35] Wow.

[49:35] I don't want to own

[49:36] Wilson all over you

[49:36] but wow.

Dan McCoy

[49:38] I really need to.

[49:39] Wow.

[49:39] But I can hear,

[49:40] I will hear you.

[49:41] Sure, yeah,

[49:41] over your thunderous urine.

[49:44] I'm going to say,

[49:45] I'm going to quickly say

[49:46] the first time I saw

[49:48] this in the theater

[49:48] I was like,

[49:49] oh,

[49:50] there's part of me

[49:51] that likes the first half

[49:52] of this movie

[49:53] that feels like

[49:54] an old 90s

[49:54] superhero movie

[49:56] where people didn't think

[49:57] superhero movies

[49:58] were going to be successful.

[50:00] They try to hide

[50:01] that it's a superhero movie.

[50:01] Yeah,

[50:01] they're like focusing

[50:02] on third tier

[50:03] cut characters

[50:06] but this is a bad,

[50:07] bad movie.

[50:07] Anyway,

[50:07] gotta go.

[50:09] So,

[50:10] Stu,

[50:13] well,

Elliott Kalan

[50:13] Dan runs off,

[50:15] can't defend

[50:15] his argument there.

[50:18] He is,

[50:19] first he calls himself

[50:20] a nerd.

[50:20] Can't argue with me,

[50:21] I'm a nerd,

[50:21] I'm not supposed

[50:22] to say his stuff.

[50:23] Then he's like,

[50:23] can't argue with me,

[50:24] I'm not here in person,

[50:24] I'm peeing.

Stuart Wellington

[50:27] Yeah,

[50:27] I don't know,

[50:27] it's tough.

[50:29] It's hard to say,

[50:30] this is a bad,

[50:31] bad movie.

[50:32] It's fairly boring,

[50:33] it has some good moments,

[50:34] but it's bad,

[50:35] bad,

[50:35] come on.

Elliott Kalan

[50:35] Yeah,

[50:36] it's a bad movie,

[50:37] although I did not like it

[50:38] until Dan earlier

[50:39] said the same thing to me

[50:40] about it feeling like

[50:41] a 90s movie

[50:42] where they didn't really

[50:42] know how to do superheroes

[50:43] where suddenly,

[50:45] it's the thing that where

[50:46] a movie that is bad,

[50:47] you see it when it's

[50:48] in theaters and you're like,

[50:48] that was dumb.

[50:49] And then 30 years later,

[50:50] you're like,

[50:51] I'm kind of affectionate

[50:52] for that dumb stuff.

[50:53] And then you see

[50:53] something that's like it

[50:54] and you're like,

[50:55] this is dumb.

[50:55] But,

[50:56] you know,

[50:56] it reminds me of this

[50:56] other dumb thing

[50:57] that I didn't like

[50:58] at the time,

[50:59] but now I'm inexplicably

[51:00] nostalgic for.

[51:02] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[51:02] I mean,

[51:02] there's a couple,

[51:03] like the weird

[51:04] detective mode bullshit

[51:05] I like,

[51:05] but come on,

[51:06] I mean,

[51:06] it's not,

[51:07] yeah,

[51:07] it doesn't take

[51:08] any actual risks.

[51:09] It's fairly boring.

Elliott Kalan

[51:10] Well,

[51:10] I mean,

[51:10] it's a movie that

[51:11] doesn't,

[51:12] at no point during this

[51:13] they were like,

[51:14] what should a Morbius movie

[51:15] be about?

[51:16] Like,

[51:16] that,

[51:17] and it's such a,

[51:18] I'll give them credit,

[51:19] it's hard to make

[51:19] a good movie about Morbius.

[51:21] Let's just get it out there.

[51:22] He's not a character

[51:22] with a lot of what I would

[51:23] call potential.

[51:25] Well,

[51:25] someone yelled out

[51:26] Molten Man,

[51:27] of course,

[51:27] my least favorite

[51:28] Spider-Man character.

Stuart Wellington

[51:30] And I'd saddled

[51:30] with a star

[51:31] with,

[51:32] let's say,

[51:32] not the most star power.

Elliott Kalan

[51:33] Yeah.

[51:34] And,

[51:35] and also,

[51:36] it just,

[51:36] it's a movie that,

[51:37] I don't know,

[51:37] you know,

[51:38] we've enumerated

[51:39] a number of flaws,

[51:39] but let's just say that

[51:40] it was,

[51:41] the weird thing

[51:42] about this movie

[51:43] is that the studio

[51:44] that made it

[51:45] didn't get the joke

[51:46] of everyone on the internet

[51:47] pretending they wanted

[51:48] to see it

[51:49] because it was,

[51:51] so obviously

[51:51] not a thing

[51:52] you would go out

[51:52] to see

[51:53] and just not understanding.

[51:55] And there was something

[51:55] kind of purely beautiful

[51:56] about that.

[51:57] In a world where,

[51:58] people say sometimes

[51:59] we live in a post-ironic world

[52:01] and this was the first time

[52:02] where I really felt it

[52:03] where it was like,

[52:04] oh,

[52:04] they don't get that people

[52:06] are ragging on this movie.

[52:08] Like,

[52:08] they really think

[52:09] like P.T. Barnum said

[52:10] or whatever

[52:10] that all publicity

[52:11] is good publicity

[52:12] and they're gonna release this

[52:14] and people are gonna

[52:14] go crazy for it.

[52:16] And,

[52:16] they didn't

[52:17] because

[52:18] it's a character with,

[52:20] and they were like,

[52:20] hey,

[52:20] nobody knew

[52:21] who the Guardians

[52:22] of the Galaxy were

[52:23] and that made a

[52:23] boff-o-be-o.

[52:24] But,

[52:25] you know,

[52:25] it's,

[52:26] there's something

[52:27] beautifully naive

[52:28] about that.

[52:29] Oh,

[52:30] Dan's back,

[52:30] everybody.

[52:32] Dan's back,

[52:34] didn't learn his lesson

[52:34] and is drinking

[52:35] something.

Stuart Wellington

[52:40] Hey,

[52:41] hey,

Stuart Wellington

[52:41] it's John Moe,

[52:42] host of

[52:42] Depression Mode,

[52:43] a podcast

[52:44] about people's

[52:45] mental health journeys.

[52:47] Guess who we got?

[52:48] Guess who?

[52:49] It's Jamie Lee Curtis.

S7

[52:50] I look at life now

[52:52] as the game of guess who,

[52:53] which is simply

[52:54] the process of elimination.

[52:56] I know what I don't like.

[52:57] That's how I found out

[52:58] who I am.

Stuart Wellington

[53:00] Jamie Lee Curtis

[53:00] on addiction,

[53:01] show business,

[53:02] and fooling people.

[53:03] All on Depression Mode

[53:04] from Maximum Fun,

[53:05] wherever you get your podcasts.

[53:06] Well,

S5

[53:11] Manolo,

[53:12] we have a show

[53:13] to promote.

[53:14] It's called

[53:15] Dr. Game Show.

S4

[53:16] It's a family-friendly

[53:17] podcast where listeners

[53:18] submit games

[53:19] and we play them

[53:20] with callers

[53:21] from around the world.

S5

[53:22] Oh,

[53:23] sounds good.

[53:23] New episodes

[53:24] happen every other Wednesday

[53:26] on MaximumFun.org.

S4

[53:28] It's a,

[53:28] it's a fast and loose

[53:30] oasis

[53:30] of absurd

[53:32] innocence

[53:33] and naivete.

[53:35] Are you writing a poem?

[53:36] No.

[53:36] And just

[53:37] saying things

[53:39] from my memory.

[53:40] And it's a nice

[53:41] break from reality.

[53:43] Is that,

[53:44] are we allowed

[53:45] to say that?

S6

[53:46] It sounds bad.

S4

[53:47] It comes with a 100%

[53:48] happiness guarantee.

[53:49] It does not.

S6

[53:51] Come for the games

[53:52] and stay for the chaos.

Dan McCoy

[53:55] Hello.

[53:56] This is a live show

[53:58] and that means that

[53:59] as always,

[54:00] it's me,

[54:01] Dan McCoy,

[54:02] with your patented

[54:02] solo ad read.

[54:05] Sorry if I've,

[54:06] uh,

[54:07] sound a bit tinny.

[54:09] I forgot to get

[54:11] the digital recorder

[54:12] we normally use

[54:13] back from our tech man,

[54:15] Matt,

[54:15] after this live show.

[54:17] I have been doing this

[54:18] for 15 years now

[54:20] and I still

[54:22] make dumb mistakes,

[54:24] but I'm recording it

[54:26] on my laptop

[54:27] to bring you

[54:29] all the great news

[54:30] about the people

[54:31] who make this show

[54:34] possible.

[54:35] Like,

[54:36] for instance,

[54:37] Squarespace,

[54:39] the all-in-one platform

[54:40] for building your brand

[54:41] and growing your business

[54:42] online.

[54:44] Stand out with a beautiful

[54:45] website,

[54:45] engage with your audience,

[54:47] and sell anything.

[54:48] Products,

[54:49] content you create,

[54:50] and even your time.

[54:53] Squarespace

[54:53] has many great services

[54:55] beyond just being able

[54:57] to build your website there.

[54:59] You can use insights

[55:00] to grow your business,

[55:01] learn where your site visits

[55:02] and sales are coming from,

[55:05] analyzing which channels

[55:06] are most effective.

[55:07] You can sell your products

[55:08] on an online store,

[55:09] whether it's physical

[55:10] or digital products

[55:12] that you sell.

[55:13] Squarespace has the tools

[55:14] for you

[55:14] to start selling online

[55:16] and all websites

[55:18] are optimized for mobile.

[55:20] People look at it

[55:20] on phones,

[55:21] people look at websites

[55:22] on tablets,

[55:24] they're throwing them up

[55:25] on screens

[55:27] of all shapes and sizes

[55:28] and content

[55:29] automatically adjusts

[55:30] so your site looks great

[55:31] on any device.

[55:32] At this point,

[55:34] if I was doing this

[55:35] with Elliot,

[55:35] he'd be like,

[55:36] Dan,

[55:37] I've got an idea

[55:37] for a website.

[55:39] Could Squarespace

[55:39] help me?

[55:40] And I'd say,

[55:40] yeah, sure, Elliot.

[55:41] And he'd say,

[55:42] yeah, it's called

[55:43] Is It Morbid Time?

[55:45] And it would just have

[55:46] a clock that would indicate

[55:47] whether or not

[55:48] it's Morbid Time or not.

[55:50] But because Elliot isn't here,

[55:52] we're not going to do that.

[55:53] Head to

[55:54] squarespace.com

[55:55] slash flop

[55:56] for a free trial.

[55:57] And when you're ready

[55:58] to launch,

[55:58] use offer code FLOP

[55:59] to save 10% off

[56:01] your first purchase

[56:02] of a website

[56:02] or domain.

[56:04] And that puts me

[56:05] in mind of microdosing

[56:07] because the next commercial

[56:09] has microdosing

[56:11] as the intro.

[56:12] You've probably heard about it.

[56:14] If not,

[56:14] just know that all sorts

[56:15] of people

[56:16] are microdosing daily

[56:17] to feel healthier

[56:18] and perform better.

[56:20] Our show today

[56:20] is sponsored

[56:21] by Microdose Gummies.

[56:23] Microdose Gummies

[56:23] deliver perfect entry-level

[56:25] doses of THC

[56:26] to help you to feel

[56:28] just the right amount

[56:29] of good.

[56:30] They're not going to

[56:30] make you feel

[56:32] weird or crazy.

[56:34] You're going to just have

[56:35] a little extra.

[56:37] You're going to feel

[56:38] a little more relaxed.

[56:39] It's good for sleeping.

[56:41] That's how Stu uses it.

[56:43] You know,

[56:43] sometimes if I want to

[56:45] watch something weird

[56:46] on the TV,

[56:47] I enjoy it.

[56:48] Anyway,

[56:49] Microdose is available

[56:50] nationwide.

[56:52] To learn more about

[56:52] microdosing THC,

[56:53] go to microdose.com

[56:54] and use code

[56:55] FLOP

[56:56] to get free shipping

[56:57] and 30% off

[56:59] your first order.

[57:00] Links can be found

[57:01] in the show description,

[57:02] but again,

[57:03] that is

[57:03] microdose.com

[57:05] code

[57:06] FLOP.

[57:07] And before we get back

[57:08] to the show,

[57:09] we do have

[57:09] a personal

[57:10] jumbotron.

[57:12] This message

[57:13] is for

[57:14] two

[57:14] from

[57:15] Emmy.

[57:17] And

[57:18] two says,

[57:19] or wait,

[57:19] two,

[57:20] that's who it's for.

[57:21] Emmy says,

[57:22] you are one of the

[57:23] most incredible

[57:24] humans I have

[57:25] ever met.

[57:27] Seeing you

[57:27] never fails

[57:28] to bring a smile

[57:29] to my face.

[57:30] I hope this message

[57:31] makes you as happy

[57:32] as you've made me.

[57:34] Happy birthday,

[57:35] babe.

[57:36] I love you

[57:36] so much.

[57:38] That is

[57:39] very,

[57:40] very,

[57:41] very sweet

[57:42] and a great

[57:43] note

[57:43] to return back

[57:45] to the bell house

[57:47] for the rest

[57:48] of our live show

[57:49] on

[57:50] Morbius.

Elliott Kalan

[57:52] Did you say

[57:53] something funny

[57:53] while it was gone?

[57:54] So much.

[57:55] So much funny stuff.

Dan McCoy

[57:56] Yeah, yeah.

[57:56] We covered it.

[57:57] I'll hear it on the podcast.

[57:58] You'll hear it

[57:58] when you listen to it.

Stuart Wellington

[57:59] Now, normally

[57:59] on the podcast

[58:00] is where we recommend

[58:01] a movie

[58:01] that you should watch

[58:03] instead of Morbius.

[58:03] And obviously

[58:04] when you go home tonight

[58:05] you should fire up

[58:06] fucking Prey

[58:07] because it rules.

Dan McCoy

[58:09] Have you watched

[58:10] that shit?

[58:11] It's amazing, dude.

[58:12] I love

[58:13] it's in Cloverfield Lane

[58:14] so I'm excited

[58:15] with it.

Stuart Wellington

[58:15] It fucking rules.

[58:16] Like, I haven't seen

[58:16] an action movie

[58:17] in a while

[58:17] that got me

[58:18] that, like,

[58:18] fired up.

[58:19] It's awesome.

[58:20] Go see it.

[58:21] If you like

[58:21] predators

[58:22] fighting bears

[58:22] and shit.

Elliott Kalan

[58:24] So, normally

[58:25] we would recommend

[58:27] stuff and read

[58:27] letters from listeners

[58:28] but today

Dan McCoy

[58:29] we're in person.

[58:30] Hey, we don't have

[58:32] to read letters

[58:32] from listeners.

[58:33] We can take

[58:33] questions from people

[58:35] which are like

[58:36] how do we do that?

[58:37] Letters that we've

[58:38] removed the middle part

[58:39] from.

Elliott Kalan

[58:39] It's the original letters.

[58:40] Questions in person.

[58:41] Yeah.

[58:42] The original letters

[58:43] talking.

Dan McCoy

[58:44] There's a microphone

[58:46] right there.

Elliott Kalan

[58:47] Right there in front

[58:48] there's a microphone.

Dan McCoy

[58:49] Everybody.

[58:49] I don't know how much

Elliott Kalan

[58:50] time we have.

[58:50] I don't care how much

[58:51] time we have.

[58:52] We're going to waste

[58:52] your time still.

Dan McCoy

[58:54] We should try and keep

[58:55] it to 15 or 20 minutes.

[58:56] You heard it.

Elliott Kalan

[58:57] 35 minutes.

[58:58] All right, everybody.

[58:59] Not that long.

[59:00] So, before we have

[59:01] a...

[59:02] Please line up.

[59:02] You're doing a great

[59:03] job, everybody.

[59:04] Before we...

[59:05] Please...

[59:06] Hey, everybody.

[59:07] Stop fighting.

[59:07] No.

[59:08] No.

[59:08] Put down that broken

[59:09] bottle.

[59:09] Oh, God.

[59:09] No.

[59:10] Oh, God.

[59:11] There's a...

[59:12] So, the...

[59:13] I'm going to say two

[59:14] things.

[59:14] One very relevant,

[59:15] one not relevant to

[59:16] this.

[59:16] Okay.

[59:17] Actually, the not

[59:18] relevant thing I

[59:18] want to even bring in.

[59:19] Okay.

[59:19] Anyway, so, the

[59:20] relevant thing.

[59:21] Hey, everybody.

[59:22] We've all been at Q&As

[59:23] where someone's up there

[59:24] and they're like talking,

[59:25] talking, talking,

[59:25] but they're not really

[59:26] asking a question.

[59:27] They're just trying to

[59:27] grab that moment where

[59:29] they can be a part of

[59:30] the show.

[59:31] Just like in, you know,

[59:33] those things where you'd

[59:33] go to the mall and you'd

[59:34] take your picture and then

[59:35] they'd put it in an

[59:36] adventure like they'd

[59:37] green screen your face on

[59:37] the hero and you'd be

[59:38] part of the show.

[59:39] Anyway, we really

[59:40] appreciate that you're

[59:41] all here.

[59:42] It really means a lot to

[59:43] us.

[59:43] We know you're real

[59:44] excited about us, which

[59:45] is wonderful.

[59:45] Thank you.

[59:46] We can feel it all the

[59:47] way from the stage.

[59:47] But think to yourself

[59:48] this.

[59:49] If I was sitting in the

[59:50] audience and I was

[59:51] listening to someone say

[59:52] this and it wasn't me

[59:53] saying it, would I be

[59:54] interested in it?

[59:55] And if the answer is

[59:56] no, please say

[59:57] something else.

[59:59] But that's to say that

[1:00:00] but that's to say not in

[1:00:02] an insulting or a critical

[1:00:03] way because we're really

[1:00:04] excited that you're here.

[1:00:05] We're really excited to

[1:00:06] be here.

[1:00:06] So question away.

[1:00:08] It's Morbin time,

[1:00:09] question wise.

[1:00:10] Can I pick this up?

[1:00:12] Yeah.

[1:00:12] I guess so.

[1:00:13] Yeah.

[1:00:14] Pick up its video.

[1:00:15] Only belly button

[1:00:16] questions, please.

[1:00:17] It's a very low

[1:00:17] microphone.

[1:00:18] Thank you.

[1:00:18] The closer it can come

[1:00:20] to.

[1:00:20] Oh, perfect.

[1:00:21] Yeah, there you go.

[1:00:23] Yes, thank you.

[1:00:24] And you should all be so

[1:00:25] amazed at my self-control

[1:00:26] that I'm not singing a

[1:00:27] song right now because I

[1:00:28] want to hear your

[1:00:28] questions.

[1:00:28] Okay.

[1:00:30] Later.

[1:00:30] I'll sing a song later.

[1:00:31] I'll sing a song later.

[1:00:32] No, it's question time.

S5

[1:00:35] Are you aware of the

[1:00:36] Morbius meal at the

[1:00:37] Look Cinema?

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:39] Okay, you're going to

[1:00:39] have to define some

[1:00:40] terms in this question.

[1:00:42] One, all cinemas are

[1:00:43] Look Cinemas.

[1:00:44] It's a visual medium.

S5

[1:00:45] It's a Look with an

[1:00:46] eight in the middle.

[1:00:48] It is a brand of

[1:00:49] cinema chain and they

[1:00:50] have meals for their

[1:00:51] character movies.

[1:00:53] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:53] So the tartine meal is

[1:00:55] weird.

S5

[1:00:57] Yes, and they had a

[1:00:58] vampire sunrise, which is

[1:01:00] a sunrise drink that I

[1:01:01] did not know was

[1:01:02] alcoholic.

[1:01:03] Vampire bites, which

[1:01:05] are pretzel bites that

[1:01:06] they've named vampire

[1:01:07] bites.

[1:01:07] Okay, so they don't

[1:01:08] really bite you.

[1:01:08] That's good.

[1:01:09] No, absolutely not.

[1:01:11] And cheesy garlic bread.

[1:01:14] Wait, wait.

[1:01:14] But garlic will kill a

[1:01:16] vampire.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:18] I, you know, I guess it

[1:01:20] could be themed from one

[1:01:21] end or the other.

[1:01:22] Like, I guess you're,

[1:01:24] you know, if the monster

[1:01:27] squad is taught us

[1:01:28] nothing, it's that a

[1:01:30] handy slice of the

[1:01:31] garlic bread can be just

[1:01:33] the thing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:34] Yeah, for Jojo Rabbit,

[1:01:35] we've got our Hile hot

[1:01:36] dogs.

[1:01:37] I don't know, Look Cinema.

[1:01:38] It seems like you don't

[1:01:39] understand the point of the

[1:01:40] movie.

[1:01:41] Vampires don't like

[1:01:42] garlic is what I'm

[1:01:43] saying.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:44] Yeah, all right.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:44] I get it.

[1:01:45] It's bad for them.

[1:01:46] So, so have you had this

[1:01:47] meal?

[1:01:47] Yes.

S5

[1:01:48] Okay, and how was it?

[1:01:48] I went for my 19th

[1:01:49] birthday for our seventh

[1:01:51] showing of Morbius.

[1:01:52] We've seen it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:55] And you made fun of me.

[1:01:56] You think you're, you

[1:01:57] think you're, because

[1:01:58] you're young, you have

[1:01:58] all the time in the

[1:01:59] world.

[1:01:59] You don't.

[1:01:59] There's so many better

[1:02:00] movies you could be

[1:02:01] watching.

[1:02:01] I know.

[1:02:02] Watch them now.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:03] No, no, this is part

[1:02:04] of the Morbius

[1:02:06] gentlemen's that is the

[1:02:09] TikTok craze, right?

[1:02:10] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1:02:10] Where everyone dresses

[1:02:11] up in a suit and goes to

[1:02:12] see Morbius.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:13] You dress in a top hat

[1:02:15] and tails and go see

[1:02:16] Morbius.

[1:02:17] Yeah.

S5

[1:02:17] That was seven out of

[1:02:18] nine and a half.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:19] Oh, God.

[1:02:20] Why the half?

S5

[1:02:21] Because I fell asleep.

[1:02:23] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:24] Fair.

[1:02:24] During Morbius?

[1:02:25] More like.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:30] Audrey also fell asleep

[1:02:31] during Morbius earlier

[1:02:32] today.

[1:02:33] Dan, being a good

[1:02:33] husband, took a picture

[1:02:35] of her and texted to me

[1:02:36] with a caption that

[1:02:36] said, more like

[1:02:37] Snorvius.

[1:02:41] That's a true story.

S5

[1:02:44] I have a short

[1:02:45] follow-up question,

[1:02:46] which is, would you

[1:02:46] eat the Morbius meal?

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:48] Yeah.

[1:02:49] I mean, it's just

[1:02:49] go like Fred and

[1:02:50] you have to have

[1:02:51] pretzel bites.

[1:02:51] Why not?

[1:02:51] Yeah.

[1:02:52] I'll eat almost anything.

[1:02:53] Yeah, I'll be honest.

[1:02:54] Yeah.

[1:02:55] Okay, good question.

[1:02:56] Good question.

[1:02:57] We all learned

[1:02:58] something today.

[1:03:00] You know what?

[1:03:01] The Morbius you know.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:07] Yes.

[1:03:08] Hi there, friends.

[1:03:08] Hello.

[1:03:09] So I've got a pretty

[1:03:10] simple question, but I

[1:03:11] want you to all answer

[1:03:12] this individually in your

[1:03:13] heads before any of you

[1:03:14] answers it out loud.

[1:03:15] Wow, that's fucking

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:16] rules.

[1:03:18] I don't want you to

[1:03:19] bias each other.

[1:03:20] I didn't know Jigsaw

[1:03:21] was going to be coming

[1:03:21] up and make us play a

[1:03:22] game.

[1:03:23] Would you like to

[1:03:24] play a game?

[1:03:24] Yeah, for sure.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:26] Look, if you touched

[1:03:28] E.T., the extraterrestrial,

[1:03:30] would he feel wet or dry?

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:36] That's a very good

[1:03:37] question.

[1:03:38] You know what, sir?

[1:03:39] You were right to make

[1:03:40] us, you were right to

[1:03:41] set the terms ahead of

[1:03:42] time.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:43] Okay, do I have to

[1:03:44] write this down and

[1:03:45] then we'll reveal it

[1:03:46] at the same time?

[1:03:46] I feel qualified.

[1:03:47] I might need to

Dan McCoy

[1:03:48] sleep on it.

[1:03:48] I'm going to say I

[1:03:49] don't see any shimmer

[1:03:51] on him.

[1:03:52] I feel like he would

[1:03:53] be dry.

[1:03:54] I feel like in the

[1:03:55] words of the Simpsons

[1:03:56] talking about Hans

[1:03:58] Molman, it would be

[1:03:59] like kissing a peanut.

[1:04:00] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:01] Certainly, certainly when

[1:04:02] he's dying, he looks

[1:04:03] very dry.

[1:04:04] He looks drier there.

[1:04:05] Yeah, yeah.

[1:04:06] But I would also think

[1:04:07] he would be fairly dry,

[1:04:09] but I mean, you should

[1:04:10] stay away from E.T.'s

[1:04:11] underside anyway, but

[1:04:12] that might be a little

[1:04:12] wetter.

[1:04:13] Yeah.

[1:04:14] I mean, I can already

[1:04:19] tell you're giving it

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:20] more thought.

[1:04:21] You've got to like

[1:04:22] clean out his wrinkles.

[1:04:26] That's got to be wet,

[1:04:27] right?

[1:04:28] You've got to clean

[1:04:29] him out or he gets

[1:04:29] sick.

[1:04:30] Me?

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:31] You, Dan.

[1:04:32] Look, for your

[1:04:33] 10th birthday, we've got

[1:04:34] E.T.

[1:04:34] He's an alien.

[1:04:36] You said you'd take

[1:04:36] care of your E.T.

[1:04:37] That means cleaning

[1:04:38] out his wrinkles.

[1:04:39] There's all sorts of

[1:04:40] chip crumbs in there.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:42] When I asked you to

[1:04:43] adopt that E.T., you

[1:04:44] said that I'd be the

[1:04:45] one to clean up after

[1:04:46] him.

[1:04:46] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:46] You've got to take

[1:04:47] him home, all that

[1:04:48] stuff.

[1:04:48] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:49] I'm going to say

[1:04:50] both depending.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:51] All right.

[1:04:52] I think that's fair.

[1:04:53] Okay, interesting.

[1:04:55] Very good question.

[1:04:57] I don't know if I can

[1:04:58] handle any more brain

[1:04:59] puzzlers like that.

[1:05:00] Follow that one up.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:02] Oh, shit.

[1:05:03] Hi, Andrew.

[1:05:04] Last name withheld.

[1:05:05] Hi.

[1:05:06] I wanted to take the

[1:05:07] opportunity to ask the

[1:05:08] preeminent Topeka

[1:05:09] focus bad movie

[1:05:10] podcast.

[1:05:12] As a native Kansan

[1:05:13] myself, I'm wondering

[1:05:14] what is your favorite

[1:05:15] or least favorite part

[1:05:16] of Topeka?

Dan McCoy

[1:05:19] I mean, I can say

[1:05:20] right now my favorite

[1:05:21] part of Topeka is

[1:05:22] the name.

[1:05:23] It is a great...

[1:05:25] I love saying

[1:05:26] Topeka.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:27] Yeah, it's so similar

[1:05:28] that I've heard about

[1:05:28] a bodega there that's

[1:05:30] worth talking about.

[1:05:32] But yeah, I've never

[1:05:33] been to Topeka.

[1:05:34] I've only been able to

[1:05:35] vicariously enjoy or

[1:05:37] despise it through the

[1:05:38] words of our listeners.

[1:05:39] And I can't wait to...

[1:05:40] We've got to do a show

[1:05:41] in Topeka.

[1:05:42] Yeah, my least favorite

Dan McCoy

[1:05:42] part, I guess, is being

[1:05:43] unsure about whether we're

[1:05:45] being unfair to this.

[1:05:47] You're not.

[1:05:47] I feel like we've got to

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:47] go there for like a week

[1:05:49] and then do a show that's

[1:05:49] all about Topeka.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:51] I think I got this one.

[1:05:52] I think my favorite part is

[1:05:54] the mall?

[1:05:59] And my least favorite part is

[1:06:01] school?

[1:06:02] School?

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:07] Oh, look at Stuart cutting

[1:06:09] the Gordian knot like that.

[1:06:11] Oh, amazing.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:12] Yeah, he is the coolest of us.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:13] Let's go.

[1:06:14] Hey, how's it going?

[1:06:15] Josh, last name withheld.

[1:06:16] Hello.

[1:06:17] Thanks for coming.

[1:06:18] So first, I just wanted to

[1:06:20] pile on the subway scene.

[1:06:23] The train doesn't stop at the station.

[1:06:25] It could be an express train,

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:28] but you're right.

[1:06:29] It's crazy.

[1:06:29] That's a good point that it is not,

[1:06:31] it doesn't seem to be a functioning

[1:06:32] mass transit system.

[1:06:33] It seems to be the MTA is operating

[1:06:35] only as a Morbius pushing system.

[1:06:39] It's a fair point.

[1:06:40] Fair criticism.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:41] Yeah, and then secondly,

[1:06:43] I totally forgot the question

[1:06:44] I was going to ask

[1:06:45] by the time I got up here.

[1:06:46] So I'm just going to say

[1:06:47] you guys all have great shoes on.

[1:06:49] Oh, thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:51] Thanks very much.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:57] Hello.

[1:06:58] Hello.

[1:06:59] Zach, last name withheld.

[1:07:01] Hello.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:02] So Jared Leto was pretty amazing, right?

[1:07:05] Oh, sure.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:05] Yeah, naturally, yeah.

[1:07:06] What a dreamboat.

[1:07:07] There are times when I was like

[1:07:09] not sure he was on the screen.

[1:07:11] He was exuding so little energy.

[1:07:13] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:14] And it's probably because

[1:07:15] he was so method.

[1:07:16] So I was wondering

[1:07:17] what other movies

[1:07:18] could be improved

[1:07:20] or made worse

[1:07:21] by somebody going so method.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:24] I mean, almost all movies

[1:07:26] could be made worse

[1:07:26] by someone going method.

[1:07:27] There's so many,

[1:07:28] people do terrible things

[1:07:29] in movies.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:30] Certainly be made worse

[1:07:31] for that person's coworkers.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:34] Oh, yeah.

[1:07:34] Always.

[1:07:35] Oh, for sure.

[1:07:36] That's like...

[1:07:37] Unless...

[1:07:37] Hmm, let's see.

[1:07:38] I mean, human centipede,

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:40] obviously.

[1:07:41] Are there any...

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:43] Stuart, you're just

Dan McCoy

[1:07:45] taunting

[1:07:47] the one iTunes reviewer

[1:07:48] who was disgusted

[1:07:49] by how often

[1:07:50] human centipede was brought up.

[1:07:51] All the time.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:52] That's all we talk about.

[1:07:54] This is how I sound.

[1:07:58] Like, why would you put

[1:08:00] that in an iTunes review?

[1:08:01] I don't care how you say it.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:03] Uh, method.

[1:08:06] What would be...

[1:08:07] Cats.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:07] Yeah.

[1:08:09] Yeah.

[1:08:09] If they lived as cats

[1:08:10] for...

[1:08:11] They're cats forever.

[1:08:12] At all times.

[1:08:12] I'm just a cat now.

[1:08:13] Yeah, that'd be pretty great.

[1:08:15] For all time.

[1:08:16] Dame Judi Dench,

[1:08:17] now a cat,

[1:08:18] says that

[1:08:19] being a cat

[1:08:21] will not in any way

[1:08:21] interfere with her future roles.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:23] How she...

[1:08:24] She, uh,

[1:08:26] bequeathed all of her riches

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:27] to herself upon her death.

[1:08:29] A local Yorkshire family

[1:08:31] was amazed to find out

[1:08:32] that the cat they had adopted

[1:08:33] was actually

[1:08:34] famed actress

[1:08:35] Dame Judi Dench.

[1:08:40] What first tipped them off

[1:08:41] that this wasn't a normal cat

[1:08:42] was the tattoo that said

[1:08:43] Cat Life on her tummy.

[1:08:46] Anyway, I don't really

[1:08:47] have an answer,

[1:08:48] but that's a good one.

[1:08:48] Yeah, let's end it at that.

S6

[1:08:55] Hi, I'm Claire.

[1:08:56] Uh, last name withheld.

[1:08:58] Saved it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:58] You caught yourself real fast.

[1:08:59] Good job.

[1:09:00] You did it.

S6

[1:09:00] Mick, last name withheld.

[1:09:02] Um, I previously wrote in

[1:09:04] to say thank you

[1:09:06] for the podcast

[1:09:07] because it keeps me company

[1:09:08] when I'm hospitalized

[1:09:09] and things like that.

[1:09:11] And I thought it might be

[1:09:12] appropriate to ask

[1:09:13] if, uh,

[1:09:15] you have any recommendations

[1:09:16] for comfort sick day

[1:09:17] kind of movies.

[1:09:18] Hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:20] Uh, my,

[1:09:22] my go-to comfort

[1:09:23] sick day movie

[1:09:23] for a long time

[1:09:25] has always been

[1:09:25] The Last Unicorn.

[1:09:27] Uh,

[1:09:29] it's got the saddest

[1:09:30] soundtrack in the universe.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:31] It's really.

[1:09:32] Yeah, there's like,

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:33] but it's beautiful.

[1:09:34] So wistful for, uh,

[1:09:37] Dan, I'm a Pisces sun,

[1:09:39] Cancer moon.

[1:09:40] Okay.

[1:09:41] The deep well of emotion.

[1:09:44] I,

[1:09:45] yeah, it's sad

Dan McCoy

[1:09:47] because, like,

[1:09:48] I don't know.

[1:09:49] I, like,

[1:09:50] Dan, look at your soul.

[1:09:51] Dan's like,

[1:09:52] Death Wish.

[1:09:52] Is he like,

[1:09:53] like,

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:53] no, no, no,

[1:09:54] I just,

[1:09:54] I feel like,

[1:09:55] I,

[1:09:55] I mean,

[1:09:55] Dan's real answer

[1:09:56] would be like

[1:09:56] some kind of weird

[1:09:57] 70s Italian sci-fi porn,

[1:10:00] you know?

Dan McCoy

[1:10:01] No, no,

[1:10:01] what I was thinking

[1:10:02] was, like,

[1:10:02] I realize

[1:10:04] as I grow older

[1:10:05] that I am becoming

[1:10:06] the thing that,

[1:10:07] like,

[1:10:08] bothered me

[1:10:09] when I was younger.

[1:10:09] I'm just like,

[1:10:10] oh,

[1:10:11] the people who were young

[1:10:12] at this point

[1:10:13] are now dominating culture

[1:10:15] and everything is nostalgia

[1:10:16] looking back to their culture.

[1:10:18] So I feel, like,

[1:10:18] shameful that the

[1:10:19] true thing is,

[1:10:21] like,

[1:10:21] yeah,

[1:10:21] I want to regress

[1:10:22] to, like,

[1:10:23] my childhood films,

[1:10:24] like,

[1:10:25] like,

[1:10:25] uh,

[1:10:25] give me a slasher

[1:10:27] of the 80s

[1:10:28] or something that I saw

[1:10:29] on USA Up All Night

[1:10:30] even though I know

[1:10:31] all the problematic elements

[1:10:33] of it now.

[1:10:34] Like,

[1:10:34] like,

[1:10:35] it just envelops me

[1:10:36] in this nostalgia

[1:10:37] but then I feel bad about it

[1:10:39] is what I was struggling

[1:10:41] with inside myself.

[1:10:42] And, you know,

[1:10:43] Mendel's struggle

[1:10:43] is great for podcasting.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:47] For me,

[1:10:47] it's,

[1:10:48] uh,

[1:10:48] it's that double feature

[1:10:49] singing in the rain

[1:10:50] in Wizard of Oz.

[1:10:51] Love them both.

[1:10:52] Fear joy on film

[1:10:53] but they also made me cry

[1:10:54] at the end.

[1:10:55] Beautiful.

S6

[1:10:56] I appreciate that

[1:10:57] and also I have,

[1:10:58] uh,

[1:10:58] the discharge hospital bracelet.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:59] You do?

[1:11:00] Okay, great.

[1:11:00] Okay,

[1:11:00] stick around.

[1:11:01] Don't go anywhere.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:03] That is to be signed later.

[1:11:04] Yeah, yeah.

[1:11:05] For the audience

[1:11:05] who might be confused.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:07] I'm collecting them

[1:11:08] so I can sneak into a hospital

[1:11:09] and kill nurses.

[1:11:11] And steal blood

[1:11:12] because I'm a vampire.

[1:11:12] Because I'm a living vampire.

[1:11:13] I'm a living vampire

[1:11:14] so I need,

[1:11:14] but it's hard to get

[1:11:15] into hospitals these days.

[1:11:16] And they can't find

[1:11:17] blood elsewhere.

[1:11:18] It's not like people

[1:11:19] are just walking around

[1:11:19] full of blood.

[1:11:20] Anyway.

[1:11:21] Wait a minute.

S6

[1:11:23] Hi, I'm Fleet.

[1:11:26] So first of all,

[1:11:27] I just want to pitch

[1:11:28] for Hinterlands.

[1:11:29] Thanks for the best

[1:11:30] first date bar.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:34] My, um.

[1:11:35] Thank you so much.

[1:11:35] I own a little bar

[1:11:36] called Hinterlands.

[1:11:38] It's great.

[1:11:38] Come visit.

[1:11:40] Yeah.

[1:11:40] You won the Nobel Prize

[1:11:41] for it but you turned it down.

[1:11:41] I won the,

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:42] I turned it down.

S6

[1:11:44] Reject it brutally.

[1:11:45] So I actually have

[1:11:46] a Morbius question

[1:11:46] that really confused me

[1:11:48] when I watched the movie

[1:11:48] and I'm wondering

[1:11:49] if you could clear it up.

[1:11:50] Okay, you're the expert.

[1:11:51] Yeah, I need, um.

[1:11:52] Well, this is,

[1:11:53] so they set up

[1:11:54] that Matt Smith

[1:11:55] and Morbo

[1:11:56] have like the same power set.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:58] Morbo.

[1:11:58] Yep.

[1:11:59] How did,

[1:11:59] yeah, yeah.

[1:12:00] How did the bats

S5

[1:12:02] pick which one to support?

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:04] That's a good question.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:06] You're right.

[1:12:07] Just political views

[1:12:08] that breaks down.

[1:12:09] I had no idea.

[1:12:10] Along.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:12] Because bats,

[1:12:13] unlike a lot of other,

[1:12:15] here's the,

[1:12:15] here's something

[1:12:15] I'm going to tell you.

[1:12:16] Animals that are awake

[1:12:17] during the day

[1:12:17] like humans

[1:12:18] are chaotic evil.

[1:12:20] Now, animals that are awake

[1:12:21] at night,

[1:12:22] bats, possums,

[1:12:23] uh, some people

[1:12:24] but not most of them

[1:12:25] are chaotic good.

[1:12:27] So they can just

[1:12:28] recognize the goodness.

[1:12:29] Ironically,

[1:12:29] Jared Leto,

[1:12:30] as we said,

[1:12:31] probably not a great guy

[1:12:32] but in the movie

[1:12:32] he's playing a good guy.

[1:12:34] Well, he's not that good a guy.

[1:12:35] You know what?

[1:12:36] I think it's just because

[1:12:37] he's just friends with those,

[1:12:38] maybe they're the bats

[1:12:39] from the tube

[1:12:39] and they just heard him

[1:12:41] and went down there.

[1:12:41] I don't know.

[1:12:42] Yeah, the bats were like,

[1:12:42] I know that guy.

[1:12:43] He's a good dude.

[1:12:44] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:12:44] He's the guy who cleans up

[1:12:45] all of our shit.

[1:12:46] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:47] That's the guy

[1:12:48] that two bats

[1:12:49] were talking about.

[1:12:50] Yeah, we'll help him out.

[1:12:52] Hey!

[1:12:52] My cousin was talking

[1:12:54] about you.

[1:12:57] Look at this guy.

[1:12:58] It's Morbius.

[1:12:59] Bobby!

[1:13:00] Hey!

[1:13:00] There's a living vampire

[1:13:01] over here.

[1:13:02] Bobby!

[1:13:04] Forget about it.

[1:13:04] Come on.

[1:13:06] Oh, I love these bats.

[1:13:08] Yeah.

[1:13:09] What do you think

[1:13:09] you guys think?

[1:13:09] You go have some blood?

[1:13:10] Should we give us

[1:13:11] some blood tonight?

[1:13:11] Yeah, yeah, why not?

[1:13:12] Let's get some blood.

[1:13:12] Yeah, sure, we're bats.

[1:13:13] Yeah, okay.

[1:13:14] Yeah, it's Thursday.

[1:13:16] Thursday, blood night,

[1:13:18] get dressed up.

[1:13:19] Yeah.

[1:13:20] I hope that helps.

[1:13:21] I don't know.

[1:13:25] And you know those bats

[1:13:27] are biting someone

[1:13:28] and they go,

[1:13:28] oh, best blood.

[1:13:29] You don't get blood

[1:13:29] like this in other cities.

[1:13:30] Only in New York.

[1:13:31] Best blood.

[1:13:31] Shut up!

[1:13:32] You mean the blood

[1:13:33] on First Avenue.

[1:13:34] That's the best blood.

[1:13:35] Fuck you.

[1:13:37] Blood on Bleeker.

[1:13:38] Come on!

[1:13:39] Best blood.

[1:13:40] Best blood in the city.

[1:13:42] That means it's

[1:13:42] the best blood in the country,

[1:13:43] which means it's

[1:13:44] the best blood in the world.

[1:13:44] Anyway, so...

[1:13:47] Yes, you have a question

[1:13:48] about New York bats?

[1:13:49] What if the New York dolls

[1:13:50] were called the New York bats?

[1:13:51] They've extended.

[1:13:52] Okay, anyway.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:54] Leo, last name is Helen.

[1:13:55] So in the past,

[1:13:56] you've covered

[1:13:56] the Nick Cage-ification

[1:13:58] of John Cusack.

[1:13:59] And tonight,

[1:13:59] you covered

[1:13:59] the Tommy Wiseau-ification

[1:14:01] of Jared Leto.

[1:14:02] So I want to know

[1:14:03] who is a weird actor

[1:14:04] that you want to see

[1:14:05] become an even weird actor?

[1:14:06] Mine would be

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:07] Ryan Gosling

[1:14:08] becoming Steven Seagal.

[1:14:10] Oh, wow.

[1:14:10] Yeah, that would be

[1:14:11] an interesting transformation.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:13] Actors getting weirder.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:15] I mean, I feel like

[1:14:16] Timothy Chalamont

[1:14:17] is on the Johnny Depp trail

[1:14:19] right now.

[1:14:19] Sorry, Chalamont?

[1:14:21] Whatever.

[1:14:21] I don't know how

[1:14:22] to pronounce his name.

[1:14:22] There's half the letters

[1:14:23] you don't even say.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:25] He's hoarding letters.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:27] I feel like there's only

[1:14:28] enough time for that

[1:14:29] pale, elfin little guy.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:31] There's only so much time

[1:14:32] before he becomes

[1:14:33] a real man.

[1:14:33] I mean, I think

[1:14:33] Robert Pattinson

[1:14:34] is just on like a road

[1:14:36] to get his man

[1:14:36] as he can.

[1:14:38] I appreciate that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:39] Robert Pattinson

[1:14:39] is becoming

[1:14:40] just like

[1:14:41] my idea

[1:14:43] of what David Cronenberg is.

[1:14:44] I hold in my heart

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:47] that local celebrity

[1:14:49] Michael Shannon

[1:14:50] can get weirder.

[1:14:53] It's possible.

[1:14:55] I see him walking

[1:14:57] around the neighborhood

[1:14:57] with a bag of beers

[1:14:59] and his mustache.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:01] You got a little more

[1:15:02] in the basement,

[1:15:02] Michael, you say.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:05] That's the only thing

[1:15:05] I miss about Brooklyn.

[1:15:06] I was walking around

[1:15:07] seeing John Turturro

[1:15:07] yelling at cars.

[1:15:12] Yeah.

[1:15:12] Anyway, who goes to?

[1:15:15] So, yeah.

[1:15:17] Yeah, I feel like

[1:15:18] there's room for

[1:15:19] a good, legitimately weird

[1:15:20] new actors.

[1:15:21] Yeah, who get real weird.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:23] Okay, let's put

[1:15:23] a Craigslist ad

[1:15:24] for weird actors.

[1:15:26] Must be weird.

S8

[1:15:29] Hello.

[1:15:29] I wanted to ask

[1:15:30] if you think this movie

[1:15:31] would be any better

[1:15:31] if the main character

[1:15:32] is Milo

[1:15:33] as someone who's

[1:15:34] misnamed

[1:15:34] by someone named

[1:15:35] Michael Morbius

[1:15:36] and then gets revenge

[1:15:37] by having the best

Dan McCoy

[1:15:38] dance moves.

[1:15:39] Holy shit.

[1:15:40] Yeah, I mean,

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:40] Matt Smith has so much

[1:15:42] more fun in this movie

[1:15:43] than the character

[1:15:44] with more in his name.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:45] Yeah, I think you've

[1:15:48] tapped into a much

[1:15:48] better version

[1:15:49] of the movie.

[1:15:50] It is incredible

[1:15:52] that he's like,

[1:15:53] my name's Lucian.

[1:15:53] No, it's not.

[1:15:54] It's Milo.

[1:15:55] You're Milo now.

[1:15:56] Hero of the movie.

[1:15:56] Do what I say.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:57] Like, that's...

[1:15:58] Lucian is like

[1:16:00] a perfect vamp name.

[1:16:01] Yeah, it is.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:02] It's a much better

[1:16:03] vamp name than Milo.

[1:16:03] It's supposed to be

[1:16:04] this moment of like

[1:16:05] showing like

[1:16:06] how cynical this kid is

[1:16:07] at this young age

[1:16:09] that like,

[1:16:09] oh, the two previous Milos

[1:16:11] have already died.

[1:16:13] Like, and I

[1:16:13] won't learn anyone's

[1:16:15] new name,

[1:16:16] but it really sets off

[1:16:18] this hero on a sour note.

[1:16:20] It makes me...

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:21] Yeah.

[1:16:21] It just continues.

[1:16:22] It makes me wish,

[1:16:23] yeah, that now there's

[1:16:23] a version of this movie

[1:16:24] that was not so

[1:16:25] um,

[1:16:26] more be-normative,

[1:16:28] I'm gonna call it.

[1:16:29] Where it's like,

[1:16:30] and that was more of the like,

[1:16:31] like kind of like a,

[1:16:32] like a Oscar Wilde

[1:16:33] decadent phase type movie.

[1:16:34] Which I guess is

[1:16:35] an interview with the vampire

[1:16:35] to a certain extent.

[1:16:36] Where it's like,

[1:16:37] where it's like,

[1:16:38] yeah, let's be a vampire.

[1:16:39] Let's just like do bad stuff.

[1:16:40] Like, come on.

[1:16:41] We're vampires, you know?

Dan McCoy

[1:16:42] Yeah, because it really is.

[1:16:43] I mean, it's just degrees

[1:16:44] of living vampire.

[1:16:46] Like, neither of the,

[1:16:47] like both of them

[1:16:48] are murderers

[1:16:49] who drink blood.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:50] Well, I feel like there's a,

[1:16:51] I've, for a while

[1:16:52] I've been tinkering with

[1:16:53] and I don't think

[1:16:53] I'll do it yet.

[1:16:54] I feel like

[1:16:54] I've never seen a really,

[1:16:56] I've never seen a good movie

[1:16:57] about capitalist vampires.

[1:16:59] Like, I haven't seen one yet

[1:17:00] that goes all the way.

[1:17:01] And it's like,

[1:17:01] make that movie.

[1:17:02] Like, Milo.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:03] Hollywood, you're scared

[1:17:04] to go all the way

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:05] with your capitalist vampire movies.

[1:17:07] Like, Milo is clearly like,

[1:17:08] he's a rich guy in it.

[1:17:09] But they never,

[1:17:10] they never want to go all the way

[1:17:11] to like a rich person

[1:17:12] who is preying on the,

[1:17:13] you know, the underclass

[1:17:14] or something like that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:15] So you look kind of like society,

[1:17:17] but instead of faces

[1:17:18] coming out of butts,

[1:17:19] it's vampires.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:19] Well, I mean, society,

[1:17:20] I feel like society is,

[1:17:22] it doesn't really make that,

[1:17:23] it doesn't really say

[1:17:24] that message clearly.

[1:17:25] It does have a face

[1:17:26] coming out of a butt,

[1:17:26] but still.

[1:17:27] I mean, someone just yells

[1:17:28] society at one point.

[1:17:29] That's the message.

[1:17:31] Yeah.

[1:17:31] But yeah, okay.

[1:17:32] Yeah, it would be a better movie.

[1:17:34] That goes without saying.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:34] I am taking control

[1:17:35] of this line.

[1:17:36] It is hot in here.

[1:17:38] I apologize to everyone

[1:17:38] that it is hot in here.

[1:17:40] We will get through the line

[1:17:42] and then we will say goodnight.

[1:17:43] But your question, please.

S7

[1:17:46] Catherine, last name withheld.

[1:17:47] Hi, guys.

[1:17:48] As a person from Kansas,

[1:17:49] I am certainly

[1:17:51] on the non-Tapeka terrain.

[1:17:53] Okay, interesting.

[1:17:54] But I will chat about that

[1:17:56] with anyone else

[1:17:57] from Kansas here.

[1:17:58] My question is,

[1:18:00] as a group of people

[1:18:01] who have seen both

[1:18:02] Death on the Nile

[1:18:03] and Cats,

[1:18:04] would you prefer

[1:18:05] to watch a film

[1:18:06] that is a straight-laced

[1:18:08] murder mystery,

[1:18:09] a la Death on the Nile,

[1:18:10] except for all the characters

[1:18:12] are the characters from Cats,

[1:18:13] or would you prefer

[1:18:15] to watch...

[1:18:15] Well, we know it's McCavity.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:16] Well...

[1:18:17] There's no mystery there.

[1:18:19] He's broken

[1:18:19] every human law.

[1:18:21] Or would you prefer

S7

[1:18:23] to watch a murder mystery

[1:18:25] with human characters,

[1:18:27] except it is in the style

[1:18:28] of a musical review,

[1:18:30] a la Cats?

[1:18:31] Oh.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:32] You guys love musicals.

[1:18:35] I have to say

[1:18:36] that you were describing

[1:18:36] the first option.

[1:18:38] I'm like,

[1:18:38] the second option

[1:18:39] better be pretty fucking good

[1:18:40] for me to not go

[1:18:43] for the Cats murder mystery.

[1:18:46] Nobody leave the room.

[1:18:47] Old Deuteronomy

[1:18:48] has been murdered.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:50] It did.

[1:18:51] For a second,

[1:18:51] you were describing

[1:18:52] Dan's next birthday party.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:57] Guys,

[1:18:57] let's do a murder mystery

[1:18:59] birthday,

[1:19:00] but all of you,

[1:19:00] please dress in leotards.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:02] Do a lot of meow.

[1:19:03] What I love is that

[1:19:04] Dan is presenting it

[1:19:05] like he's asking everyone

[1:19:06] to do it,

[1:19:07] but usually he sends

[1:19:08] an email that's like,

[1:19:09] okay, everybody be here.

[1:19:10] You're wearing this.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:11] And then you open the door

[1:19:12] and he's wearing a mustache

[1:19:13] that has whiskers.

[1:19:14] He goes,

[1:19:14] oh, Dan,

[1:19:15] I'm Hercule Poirot.

[1:19:18] Meow, meow.

[1:19:20] I'll be investigating

[1:19:24] this meow order tonight

[1:19:25] and I'm like,

[1:19:27] oh,

[1:19:28] I flew out from L.A.

[1:19:29] for this.

[1:19:31] Now,

Dan McCoy

[1:19:31] that's how I know

[1:19:32] it's a fantasy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:36] Well,

[1:19:37] if it was like

[1:19:38] our 50th birthday.

[1:19:38] Yeah, sure.

[1:19:39] Big one.

[1:19:40] Option A.

[1:19:41] Option A.

[1:19:41] I go with option A.

[1:19:42] Yeah,

[1:19:42] that's option A.

[1:19:43] I think they're both,

[1:19:44] I mean,

[1:19:45] for this question,

[1:19:46] option A,

[1:19:46] but I do kind of like,

[1:19:47] I do like the idea of a,

[1:19:48] if someone could pull off

[1:19:49] a musical murder mystery

[1:19:50] like that,

[1:19:51] where it's just people

[1:19:51] introducing themselves

[1:19:52] in song,

[1:19:53] I mean,

[1:19:54] that would be pretty amazing,

[1:19:55] but it would take,

[1:19:56] it would take someone

[1:19:57] of amazing musical ability

[1:19:59] to do it.

[1:20:00] Hmm.

[1:20:01] Better than me.

[1:20:04] Whew.

[1:20:06] Oh,

[1:20:06] you really dodged a song

[1:20:07] on that one.

[1:20:07] Yeah.

[1:20:08] Good question though.

[1:20:08] Looking off into the sky

[1:20:10] is it?

[1:20:11] It's going to start.

[1:20:12] I like to,

[1:20:13] I like to leave the audience

[1:20:14] with an anti-climax

[1:20:15] at the end of every answer.

S8

[1:20:16] Hi guys.

[1:20:17] Sam,

[1:20:18] last name withheld.

[1:20:20] So,

[1:20:20] every year my wife and I

[1:20:22] watch,

[1:20:23] in October,

[1:20:23] try to watch as many

[1:20:24] horror,

[1:20:25] thriller,

[1:20:26] or just Halloween themed

[1:20:27] movies as possible.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:29] Hocus Pocus,

[1:20:29] et cetera.

[1:20:30] Yeah,

[1:20:30] Hocus Pocus.

[1:20:31] First October,

[1:20:32] yeah.

[1:20:32] Yeah,

[1:20:32] Ernest scared stupid,

[1:20:33] yeah.

S8

[1:20:35] So,

[1:20:36] are there any

[1:20:37] horror movie,

[1:20:37] horror thrillers,

[1:20:38] or Halloween themed movies

[1:20:39] you guys can recommend

[1:20:40] that don't,

[1:20:41] that aren't torture porn

[1:20:42] or rely on jump scares?

[1:20:46] Rely on jump scares.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:46] My number one

[1:20:47] Halloween movie

[1:20:48] that I always recommend,

[1:20:50] I don't,

[1:20:51] I wouldn't describe it

[1:20:52] as either of those things,

[1:20:53] is Night of the Demons,

[1:20:54] the original,

[1:20:54] it's great.

[1:20:56] Yep,

[1:20:56] thank you.

[1:20:56] Give me at least one woo.

[1:20:59] Yeah,

[1:21:00] I don't know,

[1:21:00] it's like,

[1:21:00] kind of the perfect

[1:21:01] like haunted house

[1:21:02] Halloween party

[1:21:03] that turns into

[1:21:04] a demon murder fest.

[1:21:06] it's great.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:07] I would go

[1:21:08] for that sort of thing.

[1:21:11] There's some jump scares

[1:21:12] in it,

[1:21:12] but Trick or Treat,

[1:21:14] the Michael Doherty movie

[1:21:16] that's like,

[1:21:16] kind of an anthology movie,

[1:21:18] but it's more like,

[1:21:19] just different types of horror

[1:21:20] intertwined on Halloween.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:23] Elliot's gonna say,

[1:21:24] what,

[1:21:24] cries and whispers,

[1:21:25] hello.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:26] everyone knows,

[1:21:26] on record,

[1:21:27] Persona's the scariest movie

[1:21:28] I've ever seen,

[1:21:29] but it's like,

[1:21:30] these two women,

[1:21:31] their identities are merging,

[1:21:32] this is terrifying.

[1:21:33] But,

[1:21:34] if you haven't seen,

[1:21:35] you may have watched already,

[1:21:35] if you haven't seen

[1:21:36] the original The Haunting,

[1:21:37] Robert Wise,

[1:21:37] The Haunting,

[1:21:38] it's an old movie,

[1:21:40] but it's very creepy scary.

[1:21:41] And there's a scene

[1:21:42] where you're just looking

[1:21:43] at a wall,

[1:21:43] basically,

[1:21:44] and I was like,

[1:21:44] this is very scary right now.

[1:21:47] And there's nothing less

[1:21:48] jump scare than a wall.

[1:21:50] It can't move.

[1:21:52] So that's what I would say.

[1:21:53] You could literally stare

[1:21:54] at one to calm down right now.

[1:21:55] Yeah,

[1:21:56] yeah,

[1:21:56] that's true.

[1:21:56] Unless there was a scary

[1:21:57] face painted on it.

[1:21:58] Yeah.

[1:22:01] Dan,

[1:22:02] would it calm you down

[1:22:03] to stare at a wall

[1:22:04] with a scary face painted on it?

[1:22:07] How cool is this face?

[1:22:09] Okay,

[1:22:09] good question.

[1:22:09] Next question,

[1:22:10] please.

[1:22:10] Yeah.

[1:22:11] We'll talk about this later,

[1:22:12] because I painted a scary face

[1:22:13] on your wall.

S8

[1:22:15] Hi,

[1:22:15] I'm Wednesday,

[1:22:16] last name with Held.

[1:22:17] First,

[1:22:18] I have to compliment a cape

[1:22:19] because I actually use it

[1:22:20] as a,

[1:22:20] for Vampire,

[1:22:22] the Masquerade,

[1:22:23] the game that I run.

[1:22:24] Cool.

[1:22:25] It's a very good game.

[1:22:26] Cool dude alert,

[1:22:27] everybody.

[1:22:29] I want to ask you,

[1:22:31] what do you think

[1:22:31] Matthew Smith has done

[1:22:33] to deserve this?

[1:22:34] As a film career,

[1:22:36] it's not been great

[1:22:38] between this Terminator

[1:22:39] and I'm sure he's been

[1:22:40] in a lot of other bad films.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:42] He was in Last Night's Soho,

[1:22:44] which is not good,

[1:22:45] but he's good in it.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:46] A movie I like better than Stuart,

[1:22:47] but yes,

[1:22:48] it's not widely beloved.

[1:22:51] Yeah,

[1:22:51] he's not,

[1:22:52] post-doctor,

[1:22:53] he's not had the greatest luck.

[1:22:56] I don't know.

[1:22:57] I mean,

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:57] I don't know really much

[1:22:58] about him otherwise.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:00] He's going to be a Targaryen suit,

[1:23:02] everybody.

[1:23:03] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:04] Sometimes people just don't get the breaks.

[1:23:05] Sometimes they're kind of thrust

[1:23:07] into that,

[1:23:08] into the kind of...

[1:23:09] Are you going to ask me

[1:23:09] which Targaryen he's going to be?

[1:23:11] No,

[1:23:11] not interested.

[1:23:13] Sometimes an actor through no...

[1:23:14] Well,

[1:23:14] if you need to,

[1:23:15] for your own good feelings,

[1:23:17] talk about Lynn.

[1:23:18] Okay.

[1:23:18] Sometimes an actor through no fault

[1:23:20] of their own

[1:23:20] gets thrust into what's called

[1:23:21] the heavy role,

[1:23:22] where they're just kind of like

[1:23:23] the bad dude that the hero

[1:23:24] has to either fight

[1:23:25] or get over or whatever.

[1:23:26] But,

[1:23:27] you know,

[1:23:28] maybe he just loves

[1:23:28] making these movies.

[1:23:29] He's like,

[1:23:30] I want to be in these movies

[1:23:31] that are like not that good

[1:23:32] and I'm like a bad guy.

[1:23:34] Oh,

[1:23:34] but he's English.

[1:23:35] So he'll be like,

[1:23:35] that's what I want to do.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:37] As someone who came

[1:23:38] to the new Doctor Who episode

[1:23:40] starting with him as...

[1:23:42] Doctor New.

[1:23:42] As the Doctor.

[1:23:44] I do think that also

[1:23:45] in that role

[1:23:46] that there's a lightness

[1:23:48] that like tempers a lot of...

[1:23:50] Like he's got like a weird vibe

[1:23:53] which is good

[1:23:53] and like engaging

[1:23:55] in what makes him

[1:23:56] a good character actor for things.

[1:23:58] But I think that the lightness

[1:24:00] that he brings in the Doctor

[1:24:01] is not something that's there

[1:24:03] when he's like cast to the

[1:24:04] villain all the time

[1:24:05] and it's not serving him well.

[1:24:08] I don't know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:09] Yeah,

[1:24:09] he looks like a bad guy

[1:24:10] so they make him a bad guy

[1:24:11] but he's a lot more fun

[1:24:12] than that so...

[1:24:13] Yeah.

[1:24:14] He's a fun guy.

[1:24:15] He's a fun guy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:16] He's a real mushroom.

[1:24:17] This episode's going to come out

[1:24:18] a day after something

[1:24:18] terrible about him comes out.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:24] We're so close to the end.

[1:24:25] We're doing it guys.

[1:24:26] What?

[1:24:27] Oh.

[1:24:27] Dos preguntas.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:30] Hi,

[1:24:31] my name's Peter

[1:24:31] and I was just wondering

[1:24:33] where you thought

[1:24:34] Milo got all his money.

[1:24:36] Oh.

[1:24:38] I think it's because

[1:24:38] Otis died and left him

[1:24:40] all the cash.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:42] I mean,

[1:24:42] I did assume he inherited it

[1:24:44] but I think it was Otis.

[1:24:44] Did somebody poo Otis?

[1:24:47] I mean,

[1:24:47] because the sad reality

[1:24:48] is a lot of Milo's

[1:24:49] and Otis has died

[1:24:50] in the making of that movie

[1:24:50] so...

[1:24:51] Oh, God.

[1:24:52] I didn't do it.

[1:24:55] I said sad.

[1:24:56] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:59] Look,

[1:24:59] I feel bad

[1:25:00] about the thing

[1:25:01] I made up.

[1:25:02] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:03] I wish.

[1:25:04] But so,

[1:25:05] so,

[1:25:07] yeah,

[1:25:07] where did Milo get?

[1:25:07] I always assumed

[1:25:08] he inherited it,

[1:25:09] that he was a rich guy.

[1:25:10] I assume Morbius

[1:25:10] has money too.

[1:25:11] You know,

[1:25:12] the Jared Harris

[1:25:13] hospital in Greece

[1:25:14] does not come cheap.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:16] But what do you guys think?

[1:25:17] I kind of figured like,

[1:25:18] oh,

[1:25:18] he's like

[1:25:19] this kind of weird

[1:25:20] like kid genius

[1:25:21] and maybe he had

[1:25:22] a little seed money

[1:25:23] and invested well

[1:25:25] and like gambles a lot.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:27] Online poker

[1:25:28] or something.

[1:25:29] Yeah,

[1:25:29] yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:29] yeah,

[1:25:29] yeah.

[1:25:30] He's maybe,

[1:25:30] he's one of those guys

[1:25:31] who,

[1:25:32] he's maybe all this time

[1:25:33] he's one,

[1:25:34] because he certainly

[1:25:34] starts acting like a real,

[1:25:36] like a real showboating creep

[1:25:37] when he gets all blooded up.

[1:25:39] Maybe he's one of these guys

[1:25:40] who like just look,

[1:25:41] makes himself seem rich

[1:25:42] on Instagram

[1:25:43] and then makes money

[1:25:44] off of that.

[1:25:45] So he's always like,

[1:25:46] he'll like go to a place

[1:25:48] where there's a fuselage

[1:25:49] of a prop plane

[1:25:50] and he'll take a picture

[1:25:50] of himself

[1:25:50] walking off of it

[1:25:52] and be like,

[1:25:52] returning from Dubai

[1:25:53] or something like that.

[1:25:55] And he hires a bunch of women

[1:25:56] to like lay in a bed with him

[1:25:58] and takes a picture

[1:25:58] and is like,

[1:25:59] Tuesday,

[1:25:59] you know.

[1:26:00] This is all,

Dan McCoy

[1:26:00] this is all going to pay off

[1:26:02] when I become a vampire later.

[1:26:03] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:04] I just need to make enough,

[1:26:06] well that's the thing,

[1:26:06] on Instagram,

[1:26:07] he's been pretending

[1:26:08] to be a vampire all this time.

[1:26:09] So when Morbius is like,

[1:26:10] I have a cure,

[1:26:10] he's like,

[1:26:11] oh God,

[1:26:11] I hope it turns me

[1:26:12] into a vampire

[1:26:12] because I've been living

[1:26:14] a lie for so long.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:15] If it turns me

[1:26:16] into a Van Helsing,

[1:26:17] I'm full.

[1:26:19] Oh.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:21] And finally.

[1:26:23] Hello.

S6

[1:26:25] That's good.

[1:26:27] Last question.

[1:26:28] What is goth

[1:26:29] and is Dr. Michael Morbius goth?

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:32] Ooh,

[1:26:32] what is goth

[1:26:34] and is Dr. Michael Morbius

[1:26:36] a goth?

[1:26:36] Well,

[1:26:37] that's a good question.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:41] The traditional,

[1:26:43] I would argue

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:43] he's not just well.

[1:26:44] The traditional

Dan McCoy

[1:26:44] stalling tactic,

[1:26:45] that's a good question.

[1:26:47] Good question,

[1:26:48] good question.

[1:26:49] I mean,

[1:26:49] I just,

[1:26:50] I just imagine that,

[1:26:52] look,

[1:26:52] there are two goth pillars

[1:26:53] in my mind.

[1:26:54] Go on.

[1:26:55] On the one hand,

[1:26:56] I imagine Robert Smith

[1:26:57] up here above my left shoulder.

[1:26:59] Yeah.

[1:26:59] On the other hand,

[1:27:00] I imagine Death

[1:27:01] from the Sandman comics.

[1:27:05] With a name similar

[1:27:06] to Morbius.

[1:27:07] Yeah.

[1:27:08] And I think that

[1:27:10] I wouldn't see them

[1:27:12] all hanging out together

[1:27:13] necessarily,

[1:27:14] but I could see

[1:27:15] Morbius,

[1:27:16] you know,

[1:27:17] trying to be like them.

[1:27:19] So,

Dan McCoy

[1:27:19] yeah.

[1:27:19] And Morbius,

[1:27:20] I think so.

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:20] Morbius cares more though.

[1:27:22] Isn't part of being goth

[1:27:23] like not caring?

[1:27:24] Oh,

[1:27:25] I don't know about that.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:26] I don't know.

[1:27:26] I think goths care a lot.

[1:27:28] I think part of being goth

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:31] is caring a painful amount.

[1:27:33] Yeah.

[1:27:34] It's why you literally

[1:27:36] put a barrier of face paint

[1:27:37] between you and the world.

[1:27:38] It's because,

[1:27:38] yeah.

[1:27:39] But,

[1:27:39] yeah,

[1:27:40] I would say

[1:27:41] I don't think he's a goth.

[1:27:42] I'll tell you what,

[1:27:43] I don't think so.

[1:27:44] You know why?

[1:27:45] He didn't choose that lifestyle.

[1:27:47] He doesn't feel

[1:27:47] an affinity with it.

[1:27:48] He's just a bad.

[1:27:50] Like,

[1:27:50] that's,

[1:27:51] like,

[1:27:52] he's not,

[1:27:52] just because he's like

[1:27:53] rocking around

[1:27:54] in a hooded sweatshirt

[1:27:56] with the hood pulled down.

[1:27:57] He's like,

[1:27:57] you know,

[1:27:57] people,

[1:27:58] society's based on a lie.

[1:27:59] I'm a bat.

[1:28:00] And it's like,

[1:28:00] now that I'm a bat,

[1:28:02] I can see it.

[1:28:02] He never talks about his feelings

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:04] except for how he feels

[1:28:06] now that he's a super hard body.

[1:28:08] Yeah.

[1:28:09] And I feel like

Dan McCoy

[1:28:09] you don't usually know.

[1:28:10] How do you feel

[1:28:11] now that you're

[1:28:11] a super hard body?

[1:28:17] Let's take a look

[1:28:18] at these thighs.

[1:28:19] Can we?

[1:28:20] Look at that.

[1:28:22] I'm not,

[1:28:22] I'm really not comfortable

[1:28:23] with the way

[1:28:23] Dana's objectifying

[1:28:24] Stuart right now.

[1:28:27] It seemed like a good way

[1:28:28] to end things

[1:28:29] on a high,

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:30] honestly.

[1:28:31] Yeah,

[1:28:31] I'm fair.

[1:28:32] So I,

[1:28:33] you know what,

[1:28:33] so what are our votes?

[1:28:34] You say yes,

[1:28:35] goth?

[1:28:35] I say yes,

[1:28:35] goth.

[1:28:36] I say no goth.

[1:28:37] Being a goth

[1:28:38] is all about

[1:28:38] life stinks.

[1:28:39] Let's die.

[1:28:39] I'm going to say

[1:28:40] no goth.

[1:28:41] Oh,

Dan McCoy

[1:28:42] not a goth.

[1:28:44] You heard it

[1:28:44] in Crawford

[1:28:45] by a vote

[1:28:46] of two to one.

[1:28:47] And you know what?

[1:28:47] Let's keep the energy

[1:28:49] going and say

[1:28:50] that's the show.

[1:28:53] Woo!

[1:28:53] Thanks for being here.

[1:28:55] Thank you,

[1:28:55] Brooklyn.

[1:28:56] I've been Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:58] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[1:29:00] I've been Elliot Kalin,

[1:29:01] not a goth,

[1:29:02] but goth adjacent.

[1:29:07] So,

[1:29:08] here's a little story

[1:29:08] about Jurassic Park.

[1:29:11] Just a little park

[1:29:12] full of dinosaurs.

[1:29:15] Oh yeah,

[1:29:16] they were extinct.

[1:29:17] The idea of rhyming.

[1:29:19] Thanks to DNA,

[1:29:20] they brought them all back.

[1:29:24] It's a very easy song

[1:29:25] to parody.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:25] Thank you for explaining

[1:29:26] the plot to Jurassic Park.

[1:29:27] Well,

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:27] that's only the premise.

[1:29:29] So there's this paleontologist

[1:29:30] named Alan Grant.

[1:29:32] No.

[1:29:33] He doesn't much like kids.

[1:29:34] No.

[1:29:34] He works with Ellie Sadler.

Dan McCoy

[1:29:36] Save it for many.

[1:29:40] So.

[1:29:41] Maximumfun.org.

[1:29:43] Comedy and culture.

[1:29:44] Artist owned.

S9

[1:29:46] Audience supported.

EPISODE #376 – Morbius, LIVE!

Transcript

In this episode

Description