FH Min 61 - Aquatic 80's

[0:00] Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[0:06] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:08] I'm Elliot Kalin, starting up the episode and ready for some Flophouse funnies.

[0:13] Dan, what do we do on this podcast?

Dan McCoy

[0:15] Well, the normal episodes are ones where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[0:23] But also, those take up two weeks in a month.

[0:26] And the other two weeks are taken up by what we call the Flophouse Mini.

[0:30] Which are theoretically shorter. Sometimes they aren't.

[0:33] And they're a lot more freeform.

Elliott Kalan

[0:36] Not to be confused with the TV channel freeform, which is unrelated.

[0:40] Nor is it a sponsor.

[0:43] No. In fact, they can go to hell.

Dan McCoy

[0:47] This episode is one that I'm driving.

[0:51] It is a concept that I hope you'll go along with.

[0:54] I don't know if you'll enjoy. We'll see.

[0:56] But I'll introduce it thusly.

[1:00] Okay.

[1:00] By the time.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02] Yeah, I think Stuart and I are both buying into you introducing a concept.

[1:06] Okay.

[1:06] Sure.

Dan McCoy

[1:07] Thanks.

[1:08] I've set up the premise that I will introduce a premise.

[1:12] I hope that you'll accept that.

[1:14] And go with me.

[1:15] Okay.

[1:15] By the time you hear this episode, Stuart and I will have presented No Way Out at the Nighthawk Theater.

[1:25] So, I'm advertising a thing that has passed already.

[1:29] We have introduced a film at the Nighthawk, which is a thing that we do from time to time when our friend Christina asks us to do it.

[1:38] Christina Cacioppo, a programmer at the Nighthawk.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42] Best in the biz.

[1:45] And No Way Out is part of her.

[1:47] Wait, wait.

[1:47] Hold on a sec.

[1:48] I want to take a minute to talk about Christina before we go.

[1:50] I feel like theater programmers don't often get the glory that they deserve.

[1:55] And she really is the best in the biz.

[1:57] We've known her for a long time.

[1:59] She was the programmer at 92Y Tribeca, a now defunct space that I used to present a screening series at because she allowed me to.

[2:07] Yeah.

[2:07] She worked at Alamo.

[2:09] She's just a fantastic programmer.

[2:11] And who decides which movies are going to make it to the theaters other than the big ones that hit you over the head with themselves so you have to watch them?

[2:18] It's these programmers.

[2:19] So, thank you, theater programmers, for bringing us the movies we might otherwise not get a chance to see in glorious widescreen.

Dan McCoy

[2:27] Hmm.

[2:29] If they're projected in white.

[2:31] Okay.

[2:31] They might not be projected in widescreen.

Elliott Kalan

[2:32] Maybe they're projected using that little thing where you put your phone inside of a cardboard box and it just kind of – and it just shoots out an image onto a pillowcase or something like that.

[2:40] But either way, programmers, thank you.

[2:42] Go to your theater right now, your local theater.

[2:44] Go just kiss your local theater programmer right now and say thank you.

Dan McCoy

[2:47] Don't kiss them.

[2:48] Don't kiss them.

[2:49] At least not without their consent.

Elliott Kalan

[2:51] If you're in a relationship with them and you're not sneaking up behind them, which is weird even if you're in a relationship.

[2:57] Go ahead and kiss them.

[2:58] But otherwise, maybe just give them a nice handshake.

[3:01] Yeah.

[3:01] Or just wave.

[3:02] Or just wave and say good job.

[3:03] Thank you.

[3:04] Or salute them.

[3:05] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[3:05] Or like $20 and just like a little tip envelope.

[3:09] Wow.

[3:10] Now it seems weird.

[3:10] That seems creepy.

Stuart Wellington

[3:12] Yeah.

[3:12] One of those little like birthday envelopes where it has a little keyhole cut out for the president's face and you're like, what?

Elliott Kalan

[3:21] Oh.

[3:22] As if the president is creeping on you?

[3:24] Who cares?

[3:26] Ulysses S. Grant is watching you.

[3:28] Oh, Grant.

Stuart Wellington

[3:30] So Dan.

[3:31] Or Benjamin Franklin.

[3:32] I know he's not a fucking president.

[3:34] He's not technically a president.

Dan McCoy

[3:35] He's on money.

[3:37] Yeah, that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[3:38] He is on money.

[3:39] So the point of this was.

[3:41] He would have been a president if he hadn't been a felon, but we can get into that later.

[3:46] Yeah, because there's never been a bad person president.

[3:49] No, that's because before they.

[3:51] Nor on money.

[3:53] When someone is elected.

[3:54] Nor on money.

[3:55] There's never been bad people.

[3:56] When someone's elected president, they have to go talk to the Archangel Gabriel who says, be straight with me.

[4:02] Have you ever done a bad thing?

[4:03] And if they say yes, he says, thank you for telling the truth.

[4:08] You can't be president.

[4:08] If they say no, then he has to go back and check their history and I guess cut out their brain and weigh it against a stone.

[4:15] And if it weighs more than the stone because it's weighted down with sin, they can't be president and they're replaced by a robot.

[4:21] Oh, wow.

[4:21] That's crazy.

[4:22] Oh, that's cool.

[4:23] A lot of people don't know that.

[4:24] So, Dan, so No Way Out.

[4:25] What's that all about?

[4:27] This movie that you will have already shown by the time this airs.

[4:29] Don't tell me.

Stuart Wellington

[4:30] I'm actually going into this screening completely blind other than knowing the names of three of the stars.

Dan McCoy

[4:38] No Way and Out?

[4:40] Yep.

[4:40] Well, now that you've made a big thing of this, I will reveal that this was just a way to get into a largely unrelated bit.

[4:48] Oh, thank God.

[4:49] I appreciate.

[4:49] Oh, there really is no way out of this intro.

[4:51] I appreciate you really pumping it up.

[4:53] But the point is, this was part of Christina's series on erotic thrillers at the Nighthawk called Nighthawk Diaries.

[5:03] I think that she was programming before erotic thrillers really sort of reemerged in the zeitgeist.

[5:11] Did they?

[5:12] So, she was ahead of the group.

[5:14] Oh, yeah.

[5:14] There were a bunch of articles about.

Stuart Wellington

[5:16] They're having a mo.

[5:17] Oh, okay.

Dan McCoy

[5:18] Yeah.

[5:18] I would say the moment has died down a little bit.

[5:22] But you should still go see the series.

[5:26] The series is great.

Stuart Wellington

[5:28] Yeah, because people got tired of being scared and horny at the same time.

[5:32] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[5:34] No Way Out was also featured recently in the erotic 80s series.

[5:39] Okay.

[5:40] You Must Remember This.

[5:42] So, I thought let's piggyback on the success of that series with my own mini episode called Aquatic 80s.

[5:51] I like this.

[5:53] I like it.

[5:53] Okay.

[5:54] Interesting.

[5:55] There are four films from the 1980s which are tagged with the keyword aquatic humanoid on IMDb.

[6:04] And so, we're going to take a little trip.

[6:07] Take it apart.

[6:08] Through the four movies from the 80s with the aquatic humanoid tab.

[6:14] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[6:15] So, that whole No Way Out thing really was a misdirect.

Dan McCoy

[6:19] I mean, again, if you guys would just let me sort of get through my intro.

Stuart Wellington

[6:24] It's called hanging a lantern on it.

[6:28] So, just look at you.

[6:30] Follow the lantern and the lantern takes you to the aquatic 80s.

[6:33] It's fine.

[6:34] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[6:34] It's a magic lantern that you follow.

[6:36] Yeah.

[6:38] Also, in a real form of film, kind of.

[6:40] Magic lanterns.

Dan McCoy

[6:41] So, starting at 1980, the first and relatively speaking most famous of the four.

[6:52] And when you relatively is doing a lot of work here.

[6:55] The first is Humanoids from the Deep.

[6:57] I was wondering if that was going to be the first one.

[6:59] Yeah.

[7:00] Yeah.

[7:01] And this is about aquatic humanoid monsters who come ashore to murder men and sexually assault women.

[7:10] So, that's not really something that would fly as a whole plot of a movie these days.

[7:14] It was the 80s.

Elliott Kalan

[7:15] That was rated G at the time.

[7:17] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[7:18] Well, it was a Roger Corman production.

[7:21] So, it came pretty standard for old Raj.

[7:24] Yeah.

[7:25] To have fish men.

[7:26] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[7:27] Although, it was weird that Ronald Reagan devoted most of his State of the Union address to urging Americans to go see humanoids from the deep.

[7:34] So, that they would be fully aware of the dangers that were lurking for us.

[7:38] The dangers of horny fish.

[7:42] They should have called it horny fish from the deep.

Stuart Wellington

[7:45] I mean, I feel like that's the subtitle for the Providence comics.

Dan McCoy

[7:51] It's interesting that you bring that up, Elliot, because it was originally titled Beneath the Darkness to make it sound classy so they could attract good talent.

[8:01] Wow.

[8:02] That is super classy.

[8:04] Yeah.

[8:04] But Corman changed it to Humanoids from the Deep with his unerring eye for exploitation.

[8:11] And speaking of which, Corman, the paradox of him is he would give female directors jobs when that was far, far less common.

[8:23] But then he would do things like he did on Humanoids from the Deep where he went behind Barbara Peters, the director's back, to insert nude scenes that she had refused to include earlier.

[8:35] And just generally make it a lot rapier.

Elliott Kalan

[8:41] One of my least favorite words that ends in ear.

[8:48] For a man who loves ears of corn.

[8:51] Well, just like sleepier.

[8:53] Okay, I'll accept it.

[8:55] Slimier.

[8:55] Ooh, I'll take it, I guess.

[8:57] But yeah, rapier.

Stuart Wellington

[8:58] And Elliot, not normally blessed with long reach, likes to fight with spears.

[9:05] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[9:07] So definitely not a movie to watch if that is something that will traumatize.

Stuart Wellington

[9:14] Yeah, if you're like a substitute teacher and you got to put a tape on for the kids.

Elliott Kalan

[9:21] It's biology class.

[9:23] I guess I'll put this one on.

[9:24] Might as well.

[9:24] It says Humanoids in the title.

[9:26] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[9:28] Now, it stars a victim of John Lamb.

[9:32] This is manslaughter, Vic Morrow.

[9:36] Acquitted, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[9:37] He was acquitted for that crime he very much committed and caused.

Dan McCoy

[9:41] So I'm just digging myself further into the problematic elements of this film.

[9:46] But here's some good news.

[9:48] I mean, it wasn't Vic Morrow's fault.

[9:50] Yeah, yeah.

[9:50] I wasn't asking for it.

Elliott Kalan

[9:53] He was like, John, for this next scene, make the helicopters go super low.

[9:57] He's like, John, John, John.

[9:58] Slow enough to crash on me.

Stuart Wellington

[9:59] John, but let's only do it if we can have some child actors on board that didn't sign releases.

Elliott Kalan

[10:05] Yeah, let's only do it if we can have some illegally hired child actors.

[10:07] Ugh, John Landis.

[10:08] Anyway.

[10:09] Fucking sucks.

[10:09] Yeah, so you know it's from the deep.

Dan McCoy

[10:10] The special effects team for this did work on The Terminator, Gremlins, The Howling, and The Fly, among other things.

[10:18] It went on to big careers.

[10:19] Wow, that is some fucking bangers.

[10:22] Yeah.

[10:22] Yeah, yeah.

[10:22] Well, and this is the only of these four movies that I think I did see a long while ago, and I remember the monsters looking pretty good.

[10:34] And the composer was James Horner, who probably overall is best known for a score to Titanic, but...

Elliott Kalan

[10:43] He's best known for sticking his thumb into a Christmas pie in a corner of some kind and pulling a plum out.

Dan McCoy

[10:49] That was his brother Jack.

[10:51] Oh, I'm sorry.

[10:52] That's right.

[10:52] I'm sorry.

Elliott Kalan

[10:52] That was his brother Jack Horner.

[10:54] Sorry, composer James Horner.

Dan McCoy

[10:56] I'm apologize.

[10:57] Who was last seen in a corner.

[10:59] Did he get out?

[11:00] Who knows?

[11:01] Nothing but a plum on his thumb to eat, yeah.

[11:05] Good old plum-thumbed horn, they called him.

Elliott Kalan

[11:09] He's like, look, I dedicated my life to ending the scourge of guinea worm in far-off countries,

[11:16] and yet you put one plum at it with your thumb.

[11:19] That's all they call you is plum thumb.

Stuart Wellington

[11:20] I feel like when I heard that song as a kid, I'm like, is this a fucking thing that Christian kids do?

[11:30] Who sticks their thumb in a pie and pulls out a plum?

[11:33] What the fuck's going on here, right?

Elliott Kalan

[11:35] What's going on?

[11:36] Don't ask me.

[11:36] I'm Jewish.

[11:37] We don't even eat plums.

Stuart Wellington

[11:38] Dan?

[11:39] Dan, you're super Christian.

Elliott Kalan

[11:41] So this is one of these things that like...

[11:43] You're super Christian.

Dan McCoy

[11:44] I heard a story that could be apocryphal because all of these...

Stuart Wellington

[11:49] At a DC Talk concert or something, I'm sure.

Dan McCoy

[11:53] All of these explanations for nursery rhymes are usually apocryphal.

[11:58] So who knows?

[12:00] But I remember seeing or reading something about how like the idea was that this was all allegorical and like the plum he pulled out was, you know, like a plum, like political favor.

[12:16] And it was all a political allegory of some kind.

[12:20] But it's probably all nonsense.

Elliott Kalan

[12:21] Seems unlikely.

[12:22] I'm glad that we finally myth busted that one.

[12:25] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[12:27] How many Pinocchios did that story get?

Dan McCoy

[12:31] Like a billion.

[12:33] This movie, Humanoids from the Deep, it's interesting.

[12:34] It's funny that the thing that Elliot was encouraging me to do was to miss that movie on a film that I told him about via text called The Beach Girls and the Monster from 1965.

[12:51] Which it's an interesting, fun, bad movie.

[12:54] If you like that kind of thing, check out The Beach Girls and the Monster.

[12:57] It has a lot of Beach Girls go-go dancing and a monster, or does it?

[13:06] But mostly it's...

Elliott Kalan

[13:07] Well, the fact that you did that makes me kind of guess that maybe there's not really a monster in it.

Dan McCoy

[13:11] Yeah, it's like this weird movie that feels like a soap opera that they just stuck in some shots of go-go dancing girls and a monster in occasionally.

Stuart Wellington

[13:19] I don't want to kill the mood, but the movie has humans in it.

[13:24] It's got monsters.

[13:25] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[13:26] Yeah.

[13:26] Those are the real monsters.

[13:27] We are the real monster.

[13:28] That's a good point.

[13:30] Sorry for killing the mood in this cool podcast.

[13:33] No, no.

[13:33] It was a little too real.

[13:35] A little too real.

[13:35] Sorry, guys.

Dan McCoy

[13:36] I didn't talk about that movie because I was sort of only half watching it.

[13:41] I didn't feel like I could give the full Flophouse treatment it deserved.

[13:46] But it's funny to think that, like...

Elliott Kalan

[13:47] Is this for a man who routinely leaves the movie to go cut some fruit up and then comes back?

Stuart Wellington

[13:54] He'll go to the theater and leave to cut fruit up and they're like, sir, what are you doing?

[13:59] This is the concession stand.

[14:00] Why are you cutting fruit?

Dan McCoy

[14:02] It's just interesting to me that that happened because I came up with this alternate idea and then I realized that this first movie, Humanoids from the Deep, was very consciously Roger Corman's attempt to sort of do a more modern version of this sort of micro genre of beach monster films.

Elliott Kalan

[14:22] Yeah, like the monster party beach and things like that.

Dan McCoy

[14:24] Exactly.

[14:26] So this is the Corman sleazier version.

[14:29] But anyway, let's move on to the next aquatic...

Elliott Kalan

[14:31] Now is Roger Corman related to the director Michael Mann?

Dan McCoy

[14:35] That's a good...

[14:36] Yeah, that's a good question, Dan.

[14:37] Well, he's the core of director Michael Mann.

[14:39] If you whittled him down, that's what's inside.

[14:44] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[14:45] I know.

[14:47] Now I don't have to do it because he told me that's good for Michael Mann.

Dan McCoy

[14:51] Continuing this tour of aquatic 80s...

[14:55] Now he's Dan's become a real Roger Tormann.

[15:01] This next film now accounts very online as to when this movie came out.

[15:08] IMDb says 1980.

[15:10] Wiki says 81.

[15:12] But because of that dispute, it is second on a tour after Humanoids, which came out in 80 for sure.

[15:19] This is called Rana, the Legend of Shadow Lake.

[15:23] Okay.

[15:24] And the single trivia item on IMDb is Rana is Spanish for frog.

[15:33] I don't know if I'm pronouncing it correctly, but R-A-N-A is Spanish for frog.

[15:37] I think frog is right.

[15:39] I think you said it right.

Stuart Wellington

[15:40] Thank you.

Dan McCoy

[15:41] I did.

[15:42] Okay, good.

[15:42] I pronounced frog correctly.

[15:45] Swish.

[15:45] Just nothing but net on that one, Stu.

Elliott Kalan

[15:47] Nothing but net.

[15:49] Beautiful.

[15:50] Beautifully done.

Dan McCoy

[15:52] This movie also has an alternate title, which makes sense when you know that it's Spanish for frog.

[15:59] It says the alternate title is Croaked, colon Croaked Frog Monster from Hell.

[16:10] Cool.

[16:11] Now, according...

[16:12] Better title, I think.

[16:13] Yeah.

[16:15] And more appropriate to where this came from, because this is a trauma film.

[16:21] And apparently Lloyd Kaufman in his book said this was one of the five best trauma movies, which is a low bar.

[16:28] But there you go.

[16:31] If you want to see a good trauma movie, maybe this is your one.

[16:34] Hey, Dan, I got a question.

Stuart Wellington

[16:35] I'm going to head Elliot off at the pass real quick and ask you, is Lloyd Kaufman related to Michaelman?

Elliott Kalan

[16:44] Like, is he when Michaelman has a cough?

Dan McCoy

[16:47] And he coughs.

Elliott Kalan

[16:48] Okay.

[16:49] That's what I was asking.

[16:50] Thank you.

Dan McCoy

[16:50] When he coughs, he vomits up his core.

[16:53] Roger Corbin.

[16:54] Oh, wow.

[16:55] Wow.

[16:56] Amazing.

[16:57] It's like the cat in Uninvited.

Elliott Kalan

[17:01] Now, Dan, are you familiar with the director of this movie?

[17:04] I'm just looking up now.

[17:05] It's Bill Rubain, who did a couple of mystery science theater movies.

[17:08] He did The Giant Spider Invasion, and he did Monstra Go-Go, which is maybe the worst movie I think they've ever done on that show.

[17:16] Worse than Manos, certainly.

[17:19] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[17:19] I mean, I remember, I think I had the Amazing Colossal episode guide, and I think that they singled it out as the worst movie.

[17:27] I remember watching that.

Elliott Kalan

[17:28] For a lot of my mystery science theater watching, when I was young, the only way to see it was to watch it weeknights at midnight, from midnight to 2 a.m. on Comedy Central.

[17:36] And any time it was Monstra Go-Go, I just knew I was in for a lot of long shots of people hanging around a tunnel, waiting for a monster that never shows up.

[17:45] And it felt like it was endless.

[17:47] It would just go on forever.

[17:48] Yeah.

[17:48] Somehow, 40,000 hours of waiting were crammed into what was probably 25 minutes of screen time.

[17:54] But, oh, man.

Dan McCoy

[17:55] Theory of relativity.

[17:57] Anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[17:58] That's what Einstein was talking about.

[18:01] It was the case of the movie Monstra Go-Go.

[18:03] This is when relativity really comes into play.

Dan McCoy

[18:07] Now, details on this movie are slim.

[18:13] The Wikipedia plot summary tops out at one sentence.

[18:17] It says, when a fortune is discovered at the bottom of a lake, a diver is out to get it, even when he discovers that the loot is being guarded by an awful underwater beast.

[18:28] And I took a look at some YouTube clips to try and fill out my knowledge of this.

[18:34] And they are very muddy.

[18:36] And the monster, the titular monster.

[18:39] They're muddy because it's a lake with a frog in it?

[18:42] It just, it's not beautiful cinematography.

[18:46] I mean, it's probably degraded over time.

[18:48] Who knows?

[18:49] It could have been gorgeous.

[18:50] Yeah.

[18:51] I mean, like, YouTube is the 4K restoration.

Stuart Wellington

[18:53] Yeah.

[18:54] Yeah.

[18:54] YouTube is known for its crystal clear presentation, right?

Dan McCoy

[18:58] Yeah, it's true.

[18:59] But it's the monster, the titular monster looks kind of like a Cheddar Goblin.

[19:06] Which title?

[19:07] Raw or Croaked?

[19:10] Let's say Croaked.

[19:11] Okay.

[19:11] So his name is Croaked.

[19:12] The frog monster from hell is the titular.

[19:15] So he looks like the Cheddar Goblin.

[19:17] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:18] Yeah.

[19:19] High praise.

[19:20] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[19:20] This is as good a time as any.

Elliott Kalan

[19:23] Character find of, what was that?

[19:26] 2018?

[19:28] This was...

[19:29] That's a good guess, yeah.

[19:30] When did Mandy come out?

Dan McCoy

[19:31] 1980 or 81.

[19:32] Oh, Mandy.

[19:33] Yeah, yeah.

[19:33] I don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[19:34] Yeah, the Cheddar Goblin I'm talking about.

[19:36] Oh, okay.

[19:36] 2018.

[19:37] Got it on.

[19:37] I just looked it up.

[19:38] Got it right on the money.

[19:39] Wow, no scope.

Dan McCoy

[19:39] Yeah.

[19:40] Killed it.

[19:40] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:41] That's when I sniped that one without even looking.

[19:45] Amazing.

[19:45] I know.

[19:45] It's amazing.

Dan McCoy

[19:46] Yeah.

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Elliott Kalan

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[20:20] Honestly, what reason do you have for not doing that?

Dan McCoy

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[20:51] In this economy?

Elliott Kalan

[20:53] I guess medieval peasants don't like to feel good?

[20:56] Yeah.

[20:57] I think they liked it.

[20:58] I guess that's true.

[20:59] Didn't have a lot to afford them the chance.

Dan McCoy

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[21:05] And to learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code FLOP, that's F-L-O-P, to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.

[21:15] Links can be found in the show description.

[21:17] But again, that is microdose.com, code FLOP.

[21:23] And now we are halfway through our tour of aquatic 80s.

[21:29] Hi, everyone.

S4

[21:36] I'm Anna McLeod.

[21:37] And I'm Alexis B. Preston.

[21:38] And we host a show called Comfort Creatures, the show for every animal lover, be it a creature of scales, six legs, fur, feathers, or fiction.

[21:48] Comfort Creatures is a show for people who prefer their friends to have paws instead of hands.

[21:53] Unless they are raccoon hands, that is okay.

[21:55] That is absolutely okay, yeah.

[21:57] Yes.

[21:57] Every Thursday, we will be talking to guests about their pets, learning about pets in history, art, and even fiction.

[22:03] Plus, we'll discover differences between pet ownership across the pond.

[22:07] It's going to be a hoot on Maximum Fund.

Justin McElroy

[22:11] Hi, everybody.

[22:12] My name is Justin McElroy.

[22:13] And I'm Sydney McElroy.

[22:14] Dr. Sydney McElroy.

[22:16] That is true.

[22:17] It's important in this context because we host a medical history podcast called Sawbones.

[22:22] Oh, I thought we were going to, we should have worked on that.

[22:24] Sawbones.

[22:25] Sawbones isn't afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions.

[22:29] Like, are vaccines as safe and reliable as they want us to believe?

[22:34] Yes.

[22:34] Do I have to get a flu shot?

[22:37] Yes.

[22:37] Okay.

[22:38] Is science a miracle?

[22:40] No.

[22:41] We have a lot of great history for you and a lot of laughs.

[22:45] And sometimes the history is so bad that there's no laughs.

S4

[22:48] But you'll learn something.

[22:50] You'll feel something.

Justin McElroy

[22:51] And it's always Sawbones.

Dan McCoy

[22:54] Every week on Maximum Fund.org.

[22:56] Now, this next movie, also from 1981, presuming that the previous one was actually from 1981.

[23:06] Mm-hmm.

[23:06] It is.

Elliott Kalan

[23:07] We'll never know.

[23:08] There's no way of knowing.

[23:09] I mean, it feels like the aquatic 80s are fucking front-loaded in the 80s.

[23:13] Yeah.

[23:14] I think people got kind of tired of aquatic humanoids.

[23:17] There's a movie that I'm really wondering if it's on this list, if it may not list, and we'll find out at the end.

[23:21] There's a pretty big aquatic humanoid movie from the 80s, but I'm wondering if we're going to get to it.

[23:26] Dan, what's the next one?

Dan McCoy

[23:27] It's not this one.

[23:29] This next one is Saturday the 14th.

Elliott Kalan

[23:35] Okay, so it's one day after Friday the 13th.

Dan McCoy

[23:37] Yeah, Saturday the 14th.

[23:39] I have not seen this film either.

[23:41] Really?

[23:42] Like I said.

[23:44] That doesn't sound like you, Dan.

[23:46] I have seen Saturday the 14th Strikes Back, which was released in 1988.

[23:54] And I remember distinctly watching Saturday the 14th Strikes Back when I was a kid on a family vacation somewhere.

[24:03] It was the end of the day.

[24:04] We checked into a motel with my parents.

[24:08] Spooky motel.

[24:08] Everyone was tired.

[24:10] And, you know, we just got to go with what's on television.

[24:14] And when I was a kid, there were fewer things.

[24:16] Yeah.

[24:17] Yeah.

[24:18] Whatever the TV is offering up, that's what you're watching.

[24:20] Saturday the 14th stars.

[24:20] Who's that?

[24:21] Ed Beagley Jr.?

[24:22] Well, I'll tell you.

[24:24] Saturday the 14th stars Richard Benjamin, actor who later on did a lot of directing.

[24:30] Paul Apprentice.

[24:30] Has two names.

[24:31] Richard and Benjamin.

[24:33] Paul Apprentice and Jeffrey Tambor is also in this film.

Stuart Wellington

[24:37] Oh, I think I'm thinking of Transylvania 6-5000.

Dan McCoy

[24:40] You are thinking of Transylvania 6-5000.

[24:42] I have seen Transylvania 6-5000.

[24:44] Yeah.

[24:44] Gina Davis is incredible in that movie.

[24:49] Yeah.

[24:50] No argument here.

Elliott Kalan

[24:50] That's either the movie that she met Jeff Goldblum on or the movie they made while in the throes of love after meeting on Earth Girls Areas.

[24:58] I can never remember which one it was.

[24:59] One of them they met on and the next one they made while they were in love.

[25:03] And I don't remember which it is.

[25:04] It wasn't The Fly.

[25:05] They were already in love by then, I think.

Stuart Wellington

[25:07] Oh.

[25:07] Well.

[25:08] Man.

[25:08] Made a lot of good stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[25:10] They made a lot of movies together.

[25:11] I never thought about it.

[25:13] Gina Davis and Jeff Goldblum are really the William Powell and Myrna Loy of the 1980s.

[25:17] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[25:19] Okay.

[25:20] So returning to Saturday the 14th, the original, the first in the Saturday the 14th franchise.

[25:28] Now one would think from the title this is a slasher spoof, but it is actually a spoof of old horror movies such as one might see in the 30s or 40s.

[25:39] So it's more up Elliot's alley.

[25:41] Sure.

[25:42] Again.

[25:44] I love seeing things I love get made fun of.

[25:47] From the director of, the director who came back for Saturday the 14th Strikes Back.

[25:52] He also made Space Raiders, financed by Julie Corman, wife of Roger.

[25:59] So it's keeping it in the family aquatic humanoid wise.

[26:07] Now, I, as I said, haven't seen it, so I can't speak to the specific aquatic humanoid.

[26:12] I assume it is a take on the creature from the Black Lagoon if it is old horror movies.

[26:17] But the IMBD trivia page says, and I quote, at one hour, 11 minutes, and 46 seconds, the bathtub fish monster punches through the glass and reaches inside the house, momentarily grabbing the breast of Debbie, parentheses, Carrie Michelson, as she is standing to the side of the window, happening ostensibly by accident.

[26:41] So that's the trivia.

[26:44] This accidental boob grab is the trivia for Saturday the 14th.

Elliott Kalan

[26:50] They should have called the movie Accidental Boob Grab.

[26:52] That's a scarier title.

[26:55] For both of the people involved.

Dan McCoy

[26:57] It was originally called Nailed, and then they turned it into Accidental Boob Grab.

[27:01] That's a callback.

Elliott Kalan

[27:01] Looking at the cast list, Dan, it looks like it also, it features a performance by Severn Darden, who was a Second City member, who I always thought had a really cool first name.

[27:11] His first name is Severn.

[27:13] S-E-V-E-R-N.

[27:14] It's pretty cool.

[27:15] He's in some of the Planet of the Apes movies.

[27:17] Anytime he comes up in a book about comedy, I'm always like, where do you get a name like that?

[27:21] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[27:22] Yeah.

[27:23] And so this movie, uh...

[27:24] Probably his parents.

[27:26] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[27:27] Good point.

[27:28] He probably did.

[27:29] Good.

Dan McCoy

[27:30] Not, uh, critically acclaimed.

[27:32] Uh, the variety quote I found called it a pathetic farce, which will seem frail even on TV, which it probably should have been made for in the first place.

[27:42] So, there you go.

[27:44] Wow, that's harsh.

[27:45] Uh, um...

[27:46] People gotta eat variety.

Stuart Wellington

[27:48] And with that, with that in mind, did the sequel live up to that same harsh critique?

Dan McCoy

[27:53] You know, when I saw it at age, I'm gonna guess around eight.

[27:58] Oh, very discerning age.

[28:01] Pretty funny, but maybe...

[28:04] You know what?

[28:05] It couldn't have been eight, because the sequel came out in, uh, 88, at which point I would have been ten already.

Stuart Wellington

[28:11] So, yep, unless you're in a house of leaves and things don't work the same.

Elliott Kalan

[28:16] Did you go to the Motel of Leaves?

[28:18] Was that where you saw it?

Dan McCoy

[28:19] I probably was about 12, I would guess, by the time it showed up on TV and I was encountering it.

[28:24] Anyway.

[28:24] Okay.

[28:26] The non-descerning age of 12.

Elliott Kalan

[28:28] That history is mystery.

[28:29] So, that's three down.

Stuart Wellington

[28:31] That's three aquatic 80s down.

[28:33] We only got one more left.

Elliott Kalan

[28:34] Are there any accidental boob grabs in Saturday the 14th Strikes Back?

[28:38] Because I could see a 12-year-old liking it for that.

[28:40] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[28:41] Uh, you know what?

[28:42] I can't, I cannot recall.

[28:45] Okay.

[28:45] I cannot recall.

[28:46] Um, I didn't take notes.

[28:47] You're pleading the fifth on this one.

[28:49] All right.

[28:49] Yeah.

[28:49] Mm-hmm.

[28:50] Um, and so, the final stop in our tour of aquatic 80s...

Stuart Wellington

[28:56] LA was playing, like, uh, a rejected NBC game show, Stump Mr. Skin, right there.

Elliott Kalan

[29:06] Show me accidental boob grab.

[29:10] Let's see what Mr. Skin has to say.

[29:12] Mr. Skin's silhouette looks a lot like Dan.

[29:15] And for some reason, it's Ben Stein playing Mr. Skin, though.

[29:18] Oh, boo, boo.

[29:19] I'm Hezekiah Skin, and you're going to win my money if you can beat me at figuring out

[29:26] which nudity is in these films.

Stuart Wellington

[29:27] Not as problematic as his political beliefs.

Elliott Kalan

[29:30] I had a, I had a, Dan, before we get to number four, I just was like, I had a heated conversation

[29:35] with someone recently about how mad I still am at the characters in Knocked Up for not knowing

[29:40] there was already a Mr. Skin website.

[29:42] I know.

[29:42] It made me so mad.

[29:43] It made me so mad.

[29:44] I said, how are these guys, they cannot be that interested in nudity.

[29:48] Particularly these guys.

[29:49] What?

[29:50] Yeah, particularly these guys.

[29:51] How can they be so interested in nudity in film and not be aware of the number one information

[29:57] source for where to find it?

[29:59] It just, it made me so, I could not, I was like, if these characters, either this, either

[30:02] this movie is asking me to suspend my disbelief too much.

[30:05] Or these characters are such morons that I have no sympathy for them in any case.

[30:09] Either way, I, I'm, for some reason I was still mad about it.

Stuart Wellington

[30:12] It's like watching, like watching Crouching Dagger and Dragon and being like, I guess I

[30:16] have to assume everyone can like fly around and stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[30:20] I'm much more willing to pick that up.

[30:22] But it also, there was a moment, there was a moment in my head while I was talking to

[30:25] someone about this where I was like, why am I still so like, like angry about this?

[30:29] Why is this still something that I remember, let alone am heated about?

[30:32] Was the person you talked to, I hope you're a therapist.

[30:35] It was Judd Apatow actually.

[30:37] Oh, weird.

[30:37] So it really hurt my career.

[30:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[30:39] I can see that.

[30:41] Okay.

[30:41] We were at the, we were at the, the annual memorial for Harvey Korman at which it's made

[30:47] very clear that he's not related to Roger Korman.

[30:50] That's the main, the main aspect of it.

[30:52] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[30:54] So our final stop and Stuart, Stuart astutely noted that.

[31:01] Astutely?

[31:02] The aquatic humanoid genre was front loaded to the beginning of the decade.

[31:09] And then we saw them disappear from screens for a while.

[31:13] Build up excitement.

[31:14] Possibly America had become, you know, the novelty had worn off.

[31:18] But by.

Elliott Kalan

[31:19] The brief three movie craze had come to an end.

Dan McCoy

[31:22] This last one is from 1987.

[31:25] Oh, fuck.

Elliott Kalan

[31:26] That's so deep.

[31:27] I doubt.

[31:28] I think this is.

[31:29] I'm not.

[31:29] Is this the one that I'm thinking of?

[31:31] It's called Demon of Paradise.

[31:33] Oh, no.

[31:33] I, I, cause I'm thinking of Splash, Dan.

[31:36] A huge hit about an aquatic humanoid that came out in the 80s.

[31:39] An enormous movie about an aquatic humanoid.

Dan McCoy

[31:41] Look.

[31:42] I'm just going by what?

[31:43] It's called Splash.

[31:44] It's about a mermaid.

[31:44] IMDb tagged as aquatic humanoid.

Elliott Kalan

[31:48] It seems like, it seems like that's a big, a big miss.

Dan McCoy

[31:51] I think that maybe there, there's a difference in, in the minds of the, the taxonomy makers

[31:58] at IMDb.

[31:59] Maybe.

[32:00] Between mermaids and aquatic humanoids.

[32:02] I just, I just see.

[32:03] Mermaids have a name and that's mermaid.

[32:05] I guess that's true.

[32:06] And aquatic humanoids is just referring to.

Elliott Kalan

[32:08] I just, I just see Daryl Hannah going up to accept her, accept her aquatic humanoid, I guess,

[32:14] check.

[32:15] And them saying, I'm sorry, you don't, this doesn't apply to you.

[32:17] You're a mermaid.

[32:18] Doesn't count.

[32:19] Yeah, it doesn't count.

[32:19] Yeah.

[32:20] So that's, so there it goes, there goes my thinking that you were saving the biggest

[32:24] movie for last and that it would turn out to be Splash.

[32:26] Huge hit.

[32:27] Enormous.

[32:27] I think for kids today, it's hard to, it's hard to tell how much this movie about a guy

[32:33] who basically, how would you say it?

[32:36] Like, like traps a mermaid into loving him.

[32:39] Yes.

[32:40] Like how much, how huge a movie this was.

Dan McCoy

[32:42] Yeah.

[32:43] Well, and particularly speaking of Mr. Skin, for a young Dan who remembers Daryl Hannah's

[32:48] butt as she walks onto Liberty Island.

[32:51] Now Dan, this is 1980.

[32:52] Now, scared by hair on Disney+.

Stuart Wellington

[32:55] Disney+.

[32:55] Put some extra digital hair over that shit.

Elliott Kalan

[32:58] That's wild, man.

[32:59] So you, wait, did they, her hair hangs over it or they just gave her a really hairy butt?

[33:04] That's actually a good question.

Dan McCoy

[33:05] Her hair hangs down longer than it previously did.

Elliott Kalan

[33:08] They're like, so when, when Roy Disney, I guess, I think he's since passed, but when he,

[33:12] when he bought these movies, he goes, Hans gotta shoot second.

[33:16] Dorito has to shoot first.

[33:17] And also we cannot see Daryl Hannah's butt anymore.

[33:20] We gotta cover it up.

[33:22] Impossible.

[33:22] The two most important corrections.

Stuart Wellington

[33:25] People have been pointing out that like Disney plus is going to have fucking Deadpool soon.

Elliott Kalan

[33:30] It's already there.

[33:31] It was so weird to turn on, to go to Disney plus, uh, and to have on the front page, Deadpool,

[33:37] Deadpool two.

[33:37] I was like, that's nuts.

[33:39] And you're like, kids, kids, let's watch this shit.

Stuart Wellington

[33:44] You're not, you'll be sick of Ryan Reynolds soon.

[33:47] So let's just get this shit out of your system.

Elliott Kalan

[33:49] I know how much you love breaking the fourth wall.

[33:52] But, uh, the, uh, but that's crazy.

[33:55] So yeah, Dan, so that's 1984.

[33:57] Uh, how old were you in 1984 when, when Splash came out?

Dan McCoy

[34:01] Uh, I would have been six.

[34:03] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[34:04] So is this the origin story for your interest in butts?

[34:06] Could it be?

Dan McCoy

[34:07] I mean, by the time it got to, you know, like.

Elliott Kalan

[34:10] So either that or Donald Sutherland and Animal House.

Dan McCoy

[34:12] I probably would have been eight.

[34:13] It's possible.

[34:14] It's possible this is the origin story.

[34:17] Yeah.

[34:17] It was Donald Sutherland reaching for a sandwich or whatever it is in the cupboard.

[34:23] Okay.

[34:24] Anyway.

[34:25] Um.

[34:27] Demon of Paradise.

[34:29] Okay.

[34:29] Now this film.

[34:30] Not Splash.

[34:32] No.

[34:32] Not Splash at all.

[34:34] Wait, wait, wait.

Stuart Wellington

[34:34] Uh, similar.

[34:35] Wait for him to describe the plot.

[34:37] It might actually be Splash.

[34:38] Okay.

[34:39] Is, okay.

[34:39] Is Tom Hanks in it?

Dan McCoy

[34:41] Uh, the plot of this is that, uh, there is a lake monster called Akua or Akua.

[34:49] And despite rituals performed by fire twirling women that are meant to appease, uh, this monster,

[34:57] dynamite fishing wakes this lake monster up.

[35:02] And it preys on tourists at a nearby resort.

[35:06] And now this film is set in Hawaii.

[35:09] Okay.

[35:09] But it was shot in the, shot in the Philippines where a lot of exploitation films, uh, were

[35:14] shot.

[35:14] There's a great documentary called, uh, Machete Maidens Unleashed about all of the, uh, the

[35:21] low budget sleaze shot in the Philippines.

[35:25] Um, and this one is from prolific Filipino director, uh, Ciro Santiago.

[35:31] Who has 100 directing credits.

[35:34] Wow.

[35:35] Including the films Angel Fist, Caged Heat 2, and Vampire Hookers.

[35:40] Um, and, uh.

Elliott Kalan

[35:44] I like that.

[35:44] You think it's, the title's going to be Vampire Hunters and then it takes an abrupt swerve

[35:48] after the hunt sound.

Dan McCoy

[35:50] The, the trailer looks pretty entertaining.

[35:52] I gotta say, I, uh, not a movie again I've seen, but, uh, uh, uh, a worthy end to the

[36:00] aquatic 80s.

[36:02] Sure.

[36:02] Yeah.

[36:03] Moving into the dry 90s.

Elliott Kalan

[36:05] Oh, it was, I mean, it's not like, it's funny.

[36:08] Yeah, it's right.

[36:08] 90s was pretty dry.

[36:09] It's like, they didn't release any movies about water.

[36:11] There certainly wasn't a movie about a water world in the 1990s.

[36:14] An entire world of water, inconceivable.

[36:17] A huge world of water.

[36:18] And of course.

[36:18] That killed it.

[36:19] There's never water in movies afterwards.

[36:21] And the abyss is not on this list where there's a humanoid kind of face made out of water

[36:26] that's not aquatic enough for them?

Dan McCoy

[36:27] Uh, it's not an 80s movie, number one.

[36:30] Wow.

[36:31] When did the abyss come out?

[36:32] Not humanoid.

[36:34] That's 90s.

[36:35] That's early 90s.

Stuart Wellington

[36:37] Ed Harris, if you're listening, write in and tell us when your movie came out.

[36:41] And by movie, I mean a bit.

[36:43] It's 1989, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[36:43] Dan, it came in just.

[36:45] What?

[36:45] It came in just on the wire, 1989 for the abyss.

[36:48] So I guess you owe an apology to Ed Harris.

[36:51] I would not call.

Dan McCoy

[36:53] I mean, I guess I would not call any of those creatures humanoid.

[36:57] Maybe when the water takes on Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio's face, but that water is not the creature.

[37:05] It is just being controlled by the creature.

[37:07] Oh, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[37:08] Okay.

[37:09] You know what?

[37:09] I apologize.

[37:10] And I owe an apology to Ed Harris, too.

[37:12] Thank you.

[37:13] Also, too, James Cameron, whose new Avatar movie is all about water.

[37:17] So it looks like wet is back.

[37:19] Is that the subtitle?

Stuart Wellington

[37:21] It's Avatar 2, all about water.

Dan McCoy

[37:25] They're wet this time.

[37:26] It's called Avatar 2.

[37:27] Wet enough for you?

[37:30] So, you know, before we leave the aquatic 80s, I just want to ask the question that really I think these movies puts in the mind, which is, why are fishmen so horny?

[37:44] Ooh, good question.

[37:46] Throughout history, even going back to the original fish man, the creature from the Black Lagoon.

Elliott Kalan

[37:52] Yeah, he is also, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[37:54] Very horny as a group.

Elliott Kalan

[37:56] My younger son loves the creature from the Black Lagoon.

[37:59] He has a little stuffed creature from the Black Lagoon.

[38:01] He talks about him all the time.

[38:02] He was very upset when he found out there's no Abbott and Costello meet the creature from the Black Lagoon.

[38:07] And we've talked about writing a spec screenplay of that, which I hope to someday share with the Flophouse listeners if they're interested, that hopefully my four-year-old and I can put together.

[38:16] But, yeah, it's hard for me.

[38:17] He tells me – he asked me to tell him the story of the creature from the Black Lagoon, and it's hard for me to do it since it's in a kid way.

[38:22] Since it's basically about a monster who kidnaps a woman.

[38:26] Yeah.

[38:26] Like, yeah, why are these aquatic humanoids always so, you know – what's the word you – I'm trying to look for a word that's not rapey.

[38:35] Guys, what's a word that would describe it?

[38:37] Well, bad.

Dan McCoy

[38:41] Maybe we don't want to take this trip down fish lane.

[38:47] It is a good question why fishermen are so horny.

Stuart Wellington

[38:52] Normally, fish don't strike me as overly horny creatures.

[38:57] No.

[38:58] I mean, there is the happy fisherman.

Dan McCoy

[39:00] There's the happy fisherman.

[39:01] We've talked about before, the fish that seems to be interested in sucking the dick of someone.

Elliott Kalan

[39:07] I mean, the real question is why is the fisherman fishing without pants on?

[39:11] Because from the water up, he's wearing a shirt and a fishing vest.

[39:14] From the water down, there's nothing.

[39:16] So that's the – why is the fisherman doing that?

[39:17] I mean, I think we know why.

[39:19] It's so he gets a blowjob from a fish.

[39:21] That's – okay, fair.

[39:23] But it's also strange considering most fish don't have sex.

[39:27] As far as I know, the female fish just puts her eggs down and the male fish, when the female is not looking, I guess, when she goes to answer the door, he runs over and sprays his sperm all over it and then laughs to himself and runs away.

[39:39] So it doesn't really make any sense at all.

[39:42] So, yeah, I don't understand it.

[39:44] So if you're an ichthyologist, write in.

Dan McCoy

[39:47] I think that it's clear that the fish is more interested in the fisherman's pleasure than its own sort of enjoyment in that scenario.

[39:55] Right, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[39:55] Or that it does think that his penis is some kind of worm and that it's a strange worm and that it has to be fellated in order to consume.

[40:05] I assume –

Elliott Kalan

[40:06] The fish is like, I shouldn't eat this one.

[40:09] I'll just put my mouth on it and swim back and forth for a while.

Dan McCoy

[40:15] Well, write in, listeners.

[40:18] Or don't, please.

Elliott Kalan

[40:20] Write into did we jump the shark, courtesy of the Flophouse, and tell us, did we jump the shark and was that shark horny?

Stuart Wellington

[40:26] This episode has raised a lot of questions.

[40:28] We're going to have a week to think about it.

[40:30] We'll bring this conversation up again next time here at the Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[40:34] No, I don't think we will.

[40:36] No, we won't.

[40:37] We'll bury this episode in the desert near the ET cartridges that are out there.

[40:44] Anyway, hey, normally there's less alarming stuff that we do here on the podcast.

[40:52] Check it out.

Elliott Kalan

[40:53] Oh, we should mention, by the way, if you're listening to this episode with children, please don't.

[40:57] Please stop it.

Dan McCoy

[40:59] Please take them to get their memory wiped at the Eternal Sunshine company.

Stuart Wellington

[41:06] Get the MIBs to flash them in the eyeballs.

Dan McCoy

[41:10] At your local brain scan booth.

[41:13] But thank you all for listening.

[41:15] Thank you for bearing with us.

[41:17] Again, my strange concept that I came up with today when I was like, oh, shit, it's my turn.

[41:23] And there are a lot of other great shows on the network.

[41:27] Better planned out than this one.

[41:29] Check them out at MaximumFun.org.

[41:33] If for some reason you still like us, let people know about the show.

[41:38] Recommend it to people.

[41:40] Recommend a different episode, though.

[41:42] Mm-hmm.

[41:42] No, this one.

[41:43] And thank you to Alex Smith, who's going to make something listable out of all this hash that we do, this audio hash.

Stuart Wellington

[41:50] He's going to spin gold out of this garbage.

[41:53] And in return, we owe him a baby.

Elliott Kalan

[41:57] I know that usually Dan has one or two things that he tells Alex to take out.

[42:02] I want to see the list that Dan puts together for this one.

[42:07] Yeah.

[42:08] The David O. Selznick-style 50-page memo about this episode.

Dan McCoy

[42:13] For The Flophouse, I have been Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[42:19] And I'm ashamed that I'm also Elliot Kalin.

Stuart Wellington

[42:23] Bye.

Elliott Kalan

[42:27] Let me actually start this.

Dan McCoy

[42:37] Ah!

[42:37] Why did I squeal so loudly?

Elliott Kalan

[42:40] I think that has to be the way the episode starts is with Dan saying, let's start this thing.

[42:46] Ah!

[42:47] Like he's auditioning to replace David Lee Roth.

[42:51] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[42:53] Danny Lee Roth.

Dan McCoy

[42:54] Hey, everyone.

[42:55] Ah!

[42:57] You've just heard me scream because it's time for The Flophouse.

[43:01] I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

Dan McCoy

[43:05] And I'm Elliot Kalin.

[43:06] The stated mission for this show is to watch a critical or commercial flop and then talk about it.

[43:13] But on our off weeks.

[43:14] And yes, yes, occasionally discuss Topeka, Kansas.

[43:17] Mm-hmm.

[43:18] We do Flophouse minis, which are a little more freeform.

Stuart Wellington

[43:22] And sorry to interrupt, but every once in a while we also talk about a good movie like Tango and Cash or the movie Cats.

Dan McCoy

[43:29] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[43:31] Thank you for that important clarification.

[43:34] Now, how would we handle it if there was a movie called Tango and Cats where Ray Tango, the hottest cop on the force, has to team up with some cats to take down Cat Palance?

[43:42] Because Jack Palance has been reincarnated as a cat after being blown up in Tangled Cash.

Stuart Wellington

[43:46] I can't imagine Cat Palance would like this situation very much since those cats and Ray Tango would take his money.

Dan McCoy

[43:52] Sometimes I wonder why we don't seem to, like, grow our audience any further past where we're at.

[43:58] And perhaps it's because...

[43:59] Yeah, it's a good question.

[44:00] Every episode starts with multiple interruptions before we get to the gist of what we're doing.

[44:08] Already getting hot.

[44:08] I love it.

Elliott Kalan

[44:09] I'm sure it certainly doesn't help.

[44:11] So, anyway...

[44:13] That being said, hey, Dan.

[44:13] So, another thing I was wondering...

[44:14] Just kidding.

[44:16] Allow me to explain.

Dan McCoy

[44:19] By the time you hear this episode of the show...

[44:22] We will all be dead.

Elliott Kalan

[44:25] And you have to solve the mystery.

[44:28] That's what I've cooked up.

[44:30] MaximumFun.org

Dan McCoy

[44:32] Comedy and culture.

S6

[44:34] Artist owned.

[44:35] Audience supported.

FH Min 61 - Aquatic 80's

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