Episode #378 - Amityville in Space

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Amityville in space!

[0:06] To be clear, we're still on Earth. It's Amityville that's in space.

[0:11] Well, technically, we're all in space, Stuart.

[0:13] What the f-

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:40] Hey, it's me, Stuart Wellington.

[0:42] I'm Elliot Kalin. Guys, ask me if I was at Ikea this morning.

[0:46] Hey, Elliot, were you at Ikea this morning?

[0:48] How'd you guys know I was at Ikea this morning?

[0:50] Okay.

[0:51] Stop watching me. Get out of my life.

[0:53] That's where Audrey is right now.

[0:55] At the same Ikea in Burbank?

[0:57] Well, probably not. I mean, who knows? I guess I could text her and ask, just to be sure.

[1:02] Dan, you don't put a tracking device on your wife at all times.

[1:05] How uncharacteristic of you.

[1:09] Don't start lies about me.

[1:13] Why did you bring up Ikea, Elliot?

[1:15] Because it may explain why my head hurts and why,

[1:18] while I'm doing the summary of this movie today, it may get a little unorganized.

[1:25] What's the word for things that are not organized?

[1:27] Well, were you watching the movie while you were in Ikea?

[1:31] Unfortunately, yes. Well, they were playing it on all the screens.

[1:34] Were you washing dishes in their kitchen section of Ikea?

[1:38] I walked into one of their fake kitchens and went to a fugue state

[1:40] and started washing the dishes. I think I was in my kitchen.

[1:43] Yeah, everything clean. Must get everything clean.

[1:46] Punish, punish, et cetera, et cetera.

[1:48] Well, look, let's back up.

[1:49] Well, I'll say this. If you're taking kids to Ikea,

[1:52] they are going to want to open all the refrigerators and freezers.

[1:54] They will never not find it hilarious

[1:57] when there's a sign in the freezer that says,

[1:58] take your favorite meatballs home,

[2:00] advertising that you can buy frozen meatballs at Ikea.

[2:04] When that sign wasn't in the freezer, they were noticeably disappointed.

[2:07] And they said, let's check the next one.

[2:08] And they'd open it up and go, take your favorite meatballs home.

[2:11] Like, this is hilarious.

[2:12] So, yeah, no, man, I can put myself there.

[2:16] If I were a kid, I'd feel the same way.

[2:18] Yeah, yeah.

[2:19] I mean, you've done a lot of acting exercise,

[2:21] so you can really you can sense memory.

[2:23] That's what we call it.

[2:24] Memory of knowing that meatballs exist.

[2:28] I was going to set up what this podcast is.

[2:31] This is a podcast called Ikea Memories,

[2:33] where we talk about things that happen to us at Ikea.

[2:36] It comes out four times a month.

[2:38] Two of those times are episodes like this one,

[2:40] where we talk about a bad movie, watch a bad movie.

[2:43] We talk about it or, you know, sometimes it's not bad.

[2:46] But the word on the street is it might be, you know,

[2:48] we hear a lot of rumors.

[2:51] We're kind of like movie investigators.

[2:54] Yeah, we go down to the shoeshine boy.

[2:56] And we go, you hear about any bad movies there, Curly?

[2:58] And he goes, I don't know.

[3:00] Maybe I've seen a bad movie.

[3:01] We hand him a 10.

[3:02] And he goes, all right, all right.

[3:03] There's a new bad movie coming out.

[3:05] It's called Amityville in some ways.

[3:07] But my memory is fuzzy.

[3:09] We hand him another 10.

[3:10] He goes, oh, yeah, now I remember space.

[3:12] Amityville is space.

[3:13] Yeah.

[3:13] Inflation is also hitting Curly.

[3:16] And he's like, yeah, you know, maybe I

[3:18] could tell you a little bit whether or not

[3:19] people like it or not.

[3:21] If you refresh my memory.

[3:22] And then Elliot slams him up against the wall.

[3:24] And he's like, how about I don't rearrange your face, Curly?

[3:27] And Curly's like, well, my face is already curly.

[3:29] That's how I got the name.

[3:30] And I'm like, Curly, how could a face be curly?

[3:33] Is it a beard or is your face just weak?

[3:34] Look at me.

[3:36] Well, when I was born, they didn't have forceps.

[3:38] So they used a spiral cut ham spiral cutting machine.

[3:41] And I was left with this curly spiral face.

[3:44] Yeah.

[3:45] That's why I wear this big hat with the shadow

[3:47] that goes over my face.

[3:48] So you can't quite see the curliness of it.

[3:50] And all his portraits have to be drawn by Junji Ito, et cetera.

[3:55] Yeah, I have to commission them especially.

[3:58] So I'll never forget when I first read Uzumaki and I said,

[4:01] finally, a story I can relate to.

[4:03] Yeah, finally, I can see myself in comics.

[4:05] And we're like, just tell us.

[4:06] Just tell us what they said about this on Rotten Tomatoes.

[4:08] I'm going to need another $5.

[4:10] Listen, your face is going to be Rotten Tomatoes

[4:12] if you don't tell me.

[4:13] He goes, well, my face is covered in a mask of Rotten Tomatoes.

[4:17] It hides the curliness.

[4:19] When it's curly and it's covered in tomatoes,

[4:21] is his face spaghetti?

[4:23] And then he goes, you caught me.

[4:24] And he runs away.

[4:25] Wait, that was Spaghetti Jones, the bank robber.

[4:28] After him, boys.

[4:28] Oh, my God.

[4:31] We could cut Curly out, you know,

[4:33] and just check Rotten Tomatoes ourselves.

[4:35] But, you know, he's a small businessman.

[4:36] Yeah, we want to support.

[4:38] He's also small.

[4:39] Yeah, he's a small man with a very small business.

[4:43] Very specific business that really only caters to us.

[4:46] Anyway, I hope that's an all-important backstory.

[4:49] But another important piece of our backstory is

[4:51] as the summer comes to an end, in the fall months.

[4:54] Oh, so much world building.

[4:55] Yeah, keep going.

[4:56] What is this, Rings of Power?

[4:57] Come on.

[4:58] We get a couple of theme months.

[5:00] And we're entering the first of our Flophouse calendar theme months.

[5:05] Small Timber or Small Vimbers.

[5:08] There's a little bit of disagreement over whether it's called Small Timber.

[5:10] One third of the Flophouse, Dan, calls it Small Timber.

[5:13] Two thirds, Stuart and me, call it Small Vimber.

[5:15] And amazingly, this is the beginning of a feud

[5:19] that will eventually tear the galaxy apart

[5:21] as two sides, one calling it Small Timber,

[5:24] one calling it Small Vimber,

[5:25] war against each other for eons

[5:28] until really the universe is laid waste.

[5:31] So if any future historians are wondering

[5:34] where did this civilization-defining clash begin,

[5:37] it happened on this podcast.

[5:39] It was, just to clarify,

[5:41] it was when the other third called it Small Vimber

[5:44] and then we laughed and insisted on calling it Small Vimber for the rest of time.

[5:48] Yeah, well, anyway, the whole point is,

[5:51] it's the one month year where we give in to the worst angels of our nature

[5:56] and don't punch up at big Hollywood movies,

[5:58] but find some smaller movies to talk about.

[6:00] And oh boy, did we find a small movie to talk about this time.

[6:04] Yeah, Hollywood breathes a sigh of relief

[6:07] as we're not coming after them.

[6:09] There is an interesting bit of backstory with this.

[6:12] Ellie, I know you probably,

[6:14] you know, you've started doing some research too.

[6:16] You may have come across this.

[6:17] Mark Polonia, who directed this movie.

[6:21] And wrote it.

[6:22] And wrote it.

[6:23] He started making low-budget horror and sci-fi movies

[6:28] back in sort of the direct-to-video era

[6:31] and his movie Feeders came out.

[6:36] Blockbuster Video picked it up

[6:38] close after Independence Day came out.

[6:41] And what's the movie called?

[6:43] Feeders.

[6:44] Feeders, okay.

[6:45] So I guess.

[6:46] I thought you were saying feeders weird.

[6:48] Yeah, the very fact that it had aliens in it,

[6:51] apparently, and again, this is Wikipedia research,

[6:54] so take it with a grain of salt,

[6:55] but it catapulted it to the top independent rental of that year.

[7:01] And he's had a career of just like,

[7:03] he's a low budget, but he's had like 70 movies.

[7:08] In 2022 alone, he came out with one, two, three, four,

[7:12] five, six, seven, eight, nine movies.

[7:15] And I'm sure these are all,

[7:16] I don't think any of these are getting theatrical releases.

[7:19] These are all direct-to-video or VOD, you know.

[7:21] This is also the fourth movie he has made with Amityville.

[7:26] He made Amityville Island, Amityville Exorcism,

[7:28] Amityville Death House.

[7:29] Well, I want to talk a little bit about that.

[7:30] Write what you know.

[7:31] Before we start, so anyone listening

[7:33] who's not familiar with the Amityville House.

[7:35] In the 1970s, there was a book called The Amityville Horror

[7:38] about a supposedly true story, it's not true,

[7:40] about some people who moved into a house

[7:43] where murders had taken place

[7:44] and they were haunted by things.

[7:45] And this led to a brief burst of movies

[7:49] that were about the first movie in 1979 based on the book,

[7:53] and then a sequel to that and another sequel to that.

[7:55] But then also, it's a true story,

[7:57] so nobody can really own it completely.

[8:00] So for years and years, there have been Amityville movies.

[8:03] And then in the past 10 years,

[8:05] there was this sudden explosion again in new Amityville movies,

[8:09] all made by different companies with different angles on them.

[8:12] And I want to talk about some of the angles after you say.

[8:16] Okay, I just wonder if some of the new explosion

[8:18] comes because of the Conjuring universe being big

[8:22] and the two hucksters at the center of the Conjuring world,

[8:27] the purported actual ghost investigators,

[8:30] real-life people who just want to make money off of the idea of ghosts

[8:35] at the center of the Conjuring

[8:36] are also the figure into Amityville lore.

[8:39] And I wonder if that's the re-emergence.

[8:41] I think that's probably a big part of it.

[8:42] I think ever since paranormal activity,

[8:45] there's been like a haunted house,

[8:47] low-budget haunted house resurgence.

[8:50] But since 2011, there's been the Amityville haunting,

[8:55] the Amityville asylum, Amityville death house,

[8:57] the Amityville playhouse, Amityville no escape,

[9:00] Amityville vanishing point,

[9:01] the Amityville terror, Amityville prison,

[9:03] the Amityville murders.

[9:05] That's not, and these are not the big budget one

[9:06] was Amityville the awakening,

[9:08] the Amityville harvest and Amityville poltergeist,

[9:10] which is an Amityville academy,

[9:12] then Amityville Island, Amityville vampire, Amityville 1974.

[9:15] But then on IMDB, these are the ones that showed up

[9:18] when I looked up Amityville in space alongside it.

[9:21] There was also, hold on.

[9:23] This is, there's also, let's see, Amityville cop,

[9:26] Amityville Germany, it's coming out next year,

[9:28] Amityville Bigfoot, Amityville Toybox,

[9:30] Amityville Scarecrow, Amityville Clown House.

[9:35] There's a movie called Amityville Poo, Killer Poop 2.

[9:38] Amityville Ghosts was another one.

[9:40] And the one, let's see, there's also Amityville in the hood,

[9:43] which I don't know how this haunted house

[9:44] in a very specific place ended up in the hood.

[9:46] A comedy called Amityville Karen.

[9:49] There's one called, I mentioned Amityville Bigfoot

[9:51] and of course, Amityville Vibrator,

[9:53] which is a comedy about a haunted vibrator

[9:56] in a haunted house.

[9:57] So there's, there's a lot of full moon.

[10:00] Full moon picture. I mean, I'm sure a full moon is in the picture at some point

[10:03] But uh, there's it's a medieval has just become a shorthand for haunted house. So it's very funny that this one specific house

[10:10] It's now just shorthand for it

[10:13] the way that you could say

[10:15] Like Loch Ness Monster to mean any kind of sea serpent no matter where it is

[10:19] but I so you you have

[10:22] Answered I guess a question that I had and that's because this is based on real life made-up shit

[10:29] It is not copyrighted in the same way that like no and that's why there's why there can also be a movie called Amityville house of

[10:36] Blues because yeah, apparently because you can't copyright the idea of the blues either

[10:40] But yeah, that's so Amityville is a real it's like if they like the movie

[10:45] Casablanca exists

[10:47] That yeah, and they when the Marx Brothers were making movie a night in Casablanca

[10:51] Warner Brothers said don't do that and the Mars brothers were like, well, it's the name of the city like we can use it

[10:56] Copyright the name of a city, you know, so Amityville Casablanca should be coming out soon

[11:00] It's about a haunted cafe during World War two

[11:02] I also I this is kind of Oh in development according to IMDb is Amityville Amityville bulldozer, which is just killdozer

[11:09] I assume yeah, this is a slightly roundabout story. So I implore you to cut down on the interruptions, but

[11:16] Did I mention I do the leprechaun already? Oh god. I think I did

[11:20] I'm just asking for trouble. No, I you guys know, I don't think you've been able to

[11:25] Drop by and see them because you're way too busy for such shenanigans, but I do a thing

[11:32] Sometimes called cinema pandemica where me and my friend John we like trade off times

[11:37] And then we also have guest people just to edit like an hour of clips of like on a theme

[11:42] I'm not just like it's just a thing. We started doing during the pandemic just to spend the time and I was putting together

[11:50] A new one and it was gonna be called shark 2020

[11:54] well

[11:54] it is called shark 2020 and it's like I looked at all the movies tagged shark on IMDb and I

[12:01] Paired it down to the ones that were actually about sharks and we're fiction films

[12:07] Which has no actual sharks in it. Yeah

[12:09] But I mean like in one hour super cut of like shark movies from 2020 that doesn't really follow a normal narrative logic

[12:17] But I tried to give it at least a sort of an exquisite corpse logic and one of the movies

[12:22] I downloaded was this Amityville Island by

[12:25] Mark Polona and

[12:27] I had to not use it in the thing because I was like I scanned through the whole thing like

[12:31] Three or four times being like where's the shark in this?

[12:34] Like why is this tagged with the keyword shark and I'm like, well, I guess it's not I can't use it

[12:40] But it was kind of I wanted to do it because it had some of the same

[12:44] The same actors as Close Encounters of the Shark kind

[12:48] Also by him and I'd be like, oh, it'd be so confusing to people being like, yeah the same actors

[12:53] Like totally different characters on top of all the other editing. I'm doing anyway, that was a long walk

[12:58] But I'm just to say that this Amityville thing is sweeping the nation. It is just the other day

[13:05] Yeah, I you know, you guys might know that I'm a bit of a horror movie buff

[13:09] But I have to admit I've never seen an Amityville movie really until this point there was there was one with Ryan Reynolds, right?

[13:16] Yeah, where he's like

[13:18] Most of it for the big-budget remake. That was the word shirtless

[13:23] Psycho-dad. Yeah. Yeah the original with Josh Brolin, and I would think Margo Kidder

[13:28] James, bro, that right James. It was Josh James

[13:32] It would have been a bit. Yeah, it's about Margo Kidder marrying a baby and a ghost is like that's crazy

[13:36] Don't do that. That one was a big hit and it's kind of inexplicable because it is so boring

[13:42] but I forget which one it was either two or three is

[13:46] Kind of a bonkers horror movie, which I know that you like. Yeah

[13:50] Well, it's being a bonkers coming up next year, I think or maybe later this year's Amityville Thanksgiving

[13:55] So there's even more Amityville

[13:57] Enjoyment to going on but today we're telling it has bonkers candy on Thanksgiving. That's why that was

[14:03] Yeah

[14:05] Yeah, so the so guys let's talk about Amityville in space. That's the one we're here to talk about

[14:11] No, you know the background everybody now Amityville. It's a haunted house murders took place in this house

[14:15] Now it's full of goose ghosts and goblins ghouls and and geists. That's poltergeist. It's not like Willie Geist the the former media person

[14:26] Yeah, very much so so

[14:28] We begin we're watching through a video camera viewfinder

[14:31] Which makes sense because the movie is entirely shot on video on digital video

[14:34] And I will mention right at the top just like just like Michael Mann's movie

[14:40] Yeah, at first I was like did Michael Mann do this?

[14:44] No, the images were actually a little clearer than than some

[14:49] The so this is so small member, this is maybe the smallest small member movie we've ever I guess a talking cat is a little

[14:56] smaller than this but

[14:58] I mean cuz like Andy the Talking Hedgehog at least had like

[15:02] What was it Dean Cain in it like this movie?

[15:04] It is so it this is one of those movies where they're like

[15:08] Let's go to the ship the spaceship computer and it's clearly the editing computer and yeah

[15:13] Everything is taking place inside the same living room or the same conference room, you know, we're at it

[15:20] it's very small, but it's small in a way that movies never used to be now that like

[15:25] Computers have given people the illusion that they can make anything look good

[15:31] Because like I feel like this loosely is a mockbuster in its way, you know, like it's got its yeah

[15:38] Kind of its name that plays on a known quantity and then it tries to do this special effects

[15:44] Story, but it does it by just you know

[15:48] Compositing a picture of like a house into space, you know

[15:52] Put it put like putting up some like aluminum foil on the wall to make it spacey

[15:57] Yeah

[15:58] I guess I could have looked it up on IMG

[16:00] Maybe I was trying to figure out what the what the budget of this movie was and I can't imagine it was more than two

[16:05] or three thousand dollars

[16:06] if that

[16:08] What do you think? Yeah, and we just contributed to paying back that budget. Well, that's the thing like this is one of these movies where

[16:15] I'm gonna I

[16:17] Don't want to get too ahead of myself. I

[16:20] Texted Elliot. I'm like this movie shouldn't be so boring for how silly it is

[16:23] Yeah, but and I gotta say looking at the looking at the

[16:27] Poster art. I was kind of excited because yeah, the house is on like a rock

[16:32] That's a skull and the whole thing kind of looks like a late-period

[16:36] Iron Maiden album. Yeah, sure. I'm like, why not? Eddie's a Eddie's a house now

[16:41] His travel time and space have twisted him into a haunted house sure. Yeah, but it's hard to like what I

[16:49] That being said it's hard to kind of make fun of it as much as I want to just because it's like yeah

[16:54] Well, clearly this this is this guy's business model. He makes movies that cost almost nothing. He can sell them off and

[17:01] He's a successful independent artist

[17:05] Watching it

[17:06] I was like, I admire that someone got together like a bunch of people got together and made a movie regardless of how bad they

[17:12] Knew it was going to look which is a kind of confidence. I have never had I there's nothing stopping me

[17:17] I'm picking up a DV camera making a movie at home not worrying if it looks like garbage and just making it but except my

[17:24] own fear that someone's gonna look at it and say this looks like garbage, but these people don't care and

[17:29] Clearly this is their business model is to make a movie for nothing

[17:32] Get guys who do a bad movie podcast to pay to rent it and then make the money back that way and it's a brilliant

[17:37] Yes model. It was the explosion of podcasts, you know, I can only assume he's doing great

[17:43] Yeah, I mean, I guess I'd rather I assume it's the same way that you had he made his bones

[17:48] I guess in the direct-to-video market where video stores needed stock to fill their shelves

[17:53] It's kind of similar or drive-in theaters the gears before that needed movies to show so they'd show low-budget stuff that like

[18:00] Amazon Prime and Netflix and others they need

[18:03] Poster thumbnails to just fill their screens with and nobody's never gonna choose this but the poster will fill a spot

[18:08] So pretend they have a lot of cars. What was that one?

[18:11] We watch where the guy morphs into a dog for a while

[18:14] Oh a love on a leash was that it love on a leash? Yeah, you know what?

[18:18] That was that was pretty low. I forgot about that one. We did see some stinking small boys

[18:22] So yeah, that this is this is a small stinker just like those ones

[18:24] So we're watching so again Michael Mann directed it

[18:27] We're watching through a video camera viewfinder at a house with a ghost in the window

[18:30] It's and and the ghost in this manifests mainly as like two glowy eyes that float around

[18:36] Yeah, Chloe lights that look vaguely like eyes and there's police tape around and there's a reporter

[18:41] you can tell she's a reporter because she's wearing a zip-up sweatshirt and

[18:44] Says and there's a couple police you can tell because they're wearing berets

[18:48] Yeah, and it's it's in the in the the greatest tradition of student film

[18:52] You just have your friends pretending to be police officers and they look nothing like it

[18:57] This person says something is going down at the Amityville house that reside

[19:01] And she's talking about the evil that resides in this house in our neighborhood and in our nightmares

[19:08] I'm enjoying I'm enjoying this dialogue. So therefore we introduced to one of the main characters. This is father Benna

[19:16] Who I he it's hard to take him

[19:19] He's a priest but it's hard to take him seriously as a priest partly because he wears

[19:22] Kind of like the kind of hat that like a white jazz musician wears

[19:25] But also he has hair like Larry fine from the Three Stooges

[19:28] And so I kept thinking he has he has this air about him. I'm like a clown with his makeup off

[19:32] Is that how you guys felt?

[19:34] Well, I mean I first you know, this actor's first came to my attention

[19:37] Of course in a little film called Close Encounters of the Shark Kind

[19:41] We all remember it. Hey, did you take anything from their other movie? Apparently he's in Sharkula

[19:48] Dracula bites a shark. Yeah. Well, I mean

[19:52] Elliot it could be that a shark bites a track. That's fair. That's a good point. That's a good and more likely to be honest

[19:58] but this character so

[20:00] convincingly embodied, uh, chattier of two goons, uh, that I can't see him as anything

[20:07] else.

[20:08] Yeah.

[20:09] Now you say you can't see him as anything else.

[20:10] He, of course he does play father Benna in another movie, apparently Amityville exorcisms.

[20:14] This is a recurring character, but, uh, oh yeah.

[20:16] Cause I mean when he shows up, the reporter's like it's father Benna.

[20:20] So like he's clearly, everybody knows him.

[20:22] You also probably don't take him serious, Elliot, because his priest scholar seems to

[20:26] be falling out the whole time.

[20:28] Always.

[20:29] And then later when he, when he throws holy water around and he has a little bottle with

[20:31] holy water printed on it.

[20:33] Uh, but Dan, some of the other roles that, and I don't like to make fun of people in

[20:36] low budget things completely, but just, so this actor, he's been, he also, he's played

[20:39] a lot of parts.

[20:40] He also, wait, he also played father Benna in a movie called Noah's shark.

[20:45] So Dan, I hope you, that is a movie name that's a movie.

[20:50] That's a title to spark the imagination because what a, what a, what a bonanza for a shark.

[20:56] Noah's Ark is this two of every animal on there.

[20:58] He was also in a movie called Jurassic shark to a quack bullet aqua apocalypse, but he

[21:02] was in the movie.

[21:03] He's in a lot of these movies that are the same director made there's dune world, which

[21:07] is a, which is a, I don't know what it's a rip off of and uh, the empire of the apes

[21:11] movies.

[21:12] Uh, but he also played a character named Yamoto in a movie called Zillow foot, which makes

[21:16] me worries that he played a Japanese character, which would not be okay.

[21:20] Um, anyway, he's just like someone, you know, and it was born in Japan and was given a Japanese

[21:26] that's possible.

[21:27] Bermuda in the movie land shark and Klaus in the movie shark and Stein.

[21:31] Uh, so Dan, you've got, there's a lot of, there's a lot of shark movies for you to look

[21:35] at, but anyway, if anything, at this point we can agree, he's probably an amateur ichthyologist,

[21:41] but he's not, he's also kind of an amateur priest.

[21:43] He's not very good at it.

[21:44] He mainly just remains calm and a house into space.

[21:48] Well he didn't do it.

[21:49] You'll see that.

[21:50] Okay.

[21:51] He, he says this is the final confrontation.

[21:52] He tells the reporter and the cops to leave and he walks into the house and suddenly there's

[21:55] spooky lights and growling laughter immediately.

[21:57] And there's kind of this glowing cloud of flame.

[21:59] Describe the house, Elliot.

[22:00] The house is, looks like a house.

[22:02] Just looks like you just walked into a random person's house and you can see, uh, you can

[22:08] see like a nice selection of blu rays and Xbox games that does happen later.

[22:15] Most movies takes place in the living room.

[22:17] So it's kind of funny.

[22:18] It's kind of funny later when a, one of the, as jumping ahead, one of the astronauts shows

[22:21] up, oh no, a, a cyborg shows up in the living room and then it just looks over and sees

[22:26] that there's a demon, some sort of a demon ninja just standing on the stairs looking

[22:29] at.

[22:30] It's amazing.

[22:31] It's amazing.

[22:32] So, uh, this glowing cloud, he taunts him.

[22:34] Uh, he says, Christ is power.

[22:35] A Christ is very powerful, but this father is this, this priest is weak and he splashes

[22:39] holy water around from a surprisingly tiny bottle that just says holy water on it with

[22:43] the cross.

[22:44] It looks like a little hand sanitizer bottle.

[22:45] There's a real battle of wills which comes to a head or should I say a hand when the

[22:50] demon uses telekinesis to twist Benna's surprisingly mannequin, a hand right off of his arm and

[22:57] it falls to the ground, clearly a mannequin's hand, not even attempting to make it look

[23:00] otherwise.

[23:01] Uh, then a wins though somehow.

[23:04] And he says, uh, he's going to sacrifice his life and he calls on God to remove this house

[23:08] from the earth, causing the house to lift up into space, uh, and, uh, in a sort of Gilliam

[23:14] esque animation.

[23:15] Not exactly.

[23:16] Yeah.

[23:17] A transition that would be fitting for one of my PowerPoints.

[23:20] Yeah.

[23:21] There's a real, there's a real, there's a cut rate element to the whole movie.

[23:25] Uh, and the house disappears, taking the priest with it.

[23:27] Then we get the titles, Amityville in space.

[23:30] And those run for a while over, over a charitably long credit sequence for a movie.

[23:35] That's an hour and 15 minutes long.

[23:37] A fair amount of it is opening credits.

[23:40] Suddenly we don't have time running credits.

[23:41] We're in space.

[23:42] It's the year 3015.

[23:43] That's right.

[23:44] A hundred years from now, but pretty close.

[23:46] Yeah.

[23:47] Yeah.

[23:48] There's a readout on screen that says it's 3015.

[23:49] This is the deep space cruiser Wyoming two, two seven.

[23:52] That's floating by a space cruiser that I like is named in honor of both the state Wyoming

[23:56] and the hit sitcom two, two seven starring Jack K.

[23:59] What if a movie like this just had like, you know, it'd be like the future 3015 all disease

[24:08] has been eradicated, but one government rules the universe.

[24:15] Pants are optional.

[24:16] Like, what if it just ended with, let's, let's strap you into this part of the building.

[24:20] It asks a lot of questions and I hope the movie answers them, but that's the future

[24:25] liberals want.

[24:26] Yeah.

[24:27] Yeah.

[24:28] Yeah.

[24:29] And, and I guess Winnie the Pooh and Donald Duck, my style icons.

[24:34] Yeah.

[24:35] And Porky Pig.

[24:36] And Porky Pig is the leader.

[24:37] And he goes, well, we did, we did, it did to discovered I won't do any more stuff.

[24:40] We discovered that we could remove people's freedoms to speech, religion, protest, and,

[24:47] and community and other, and other things, as long as we gave them the freedom not to

[24:50] wear pants.

[24:51] They fell for it.

[24:52] Discomfort of those pants.

[24:53] That was doing it.

[24:54] And then we pan down to hell and Hitler is like, ah, if only I realized pants was the

[24:57] key.

[24:58] Yeah.

[24:59] Yeah.

[25:00] Anyway.

[25:01] Anyway, back to this movie, which has put even less world building into it than we just

[25:07] put into ours.

[25:08] Yeah.

[25:09] Uh, so the mission is that the space was on is to destroy rogue black holes in space.

[25:12] This creates the idea of a rogue black hole, which is a funny idea because black holes

[25:17] are naturally occurring things.

[25:19] They don't have, it's not like they're, they're, they're good ones, you know, and they destroy

[25:23] them by throwing nukes into them, which shouldn't work.

[25:26] A black hole's gravity is so dense.

[25:27] I assume it would just suck the nuke and the radiation right into it.

[25:31] But again, this is a movie about a haunted house that flies into space.

[25:34] So we can't really be that upset about them not getting the physics of black holes.

[25:37] Exactly.

[25:38] Right.

[25:39] And we will see later on in the movie, we'll see animations of those nuclear rockets being

[25:43] launched from the launch bay.

[25:45] And the animation does look a lot like one of those animations when you get a strike

[25:49] at a bowling alley.

[25:50] Yep.

[25:51] Very much so.

[25:52] Yeah.

[25:53] And what is a bowling alley but throwing something into a black hole?

[25:55] Exactly.

[25:56] Yeah.

[25:57] I mean, it's not a black hole full of pins, but still.

[25:59] So, uh, the crew, they all get their names on screen.

[26:01] Let's meet our robot roll call here.

[26:03] There's the leader, Captain Halstead.

[26:05] There's the medical officer, Dr. Nermy.

[26:07] She's the only woman on board.

[26:08] There's Jacob.

[26:09] It's the weapons specialist who appears to be managing things from the editing bay for

[26:13] the movie.

[26:14] And he has sunglasses on, which is how, you know, he's a cool dude, I guess.

[26:17] And that's the extent of the character personality building for Jacob.

[26:20] There's Maitland.

[26:21] He's the navigator.

[26:22] He has a beard.

[26:23] And as we'll learn, he likes to complain a lot.

[26:24] So he's kind of the Dan McCoy of the group.

[26:25] And he's basically always seated.

[26:27] Yes.

[26:28] And he's always sitting down again, kind of the Dan McCoy of the group.

[26:30] And then, and then there's Vox, the cyborg analyst, which is, can you explain the look

[26:36] of this cyborg?

[26:37] I would love to.

[26:38] Maybe that's what you're going to get into.

[26:40] So we got to talk about Vox.

[26:41] So imagine you were wearing a child's Halloween costume that's meant for a, like a hazmat

[26:47] suit, but it's silver.

[26:49] And he just kind of moves herky-jerky like a robot and talks like this and is very illogical.

[26:55] And I'm wondering what part of his, him as a cyborg, because, yeah, no, it's clearly

[26:59] just a man wearing, you know, some Mylar or whatever.

[27:03] Now, so...

[27:04] No, no, no.

[27:05] Dan, that was your Lar?

[27:06] I thought it was Mylar.

[27:07] Sorry.

[27:08] Now, the question is, do you think he's, the, the character is supposed to actually

[27:13] be an android or do you think the character is actually supposed to be a guy pretending

[27:17] to be an android?

[27:18] Oh, oh.

[27:19] And everyone on the ship is just sort of indulging it because, you know, that's how they get

[27:22] the best work.

[27:23] I mean, I would love that.

[27:24] I mean, Roger Ebert said, you know, rest in peace, said that you can't, you can't bring

[27:27] in things from outside of what you're shown on screen, really.

[27:30] It's not fair.

[27:31] But I like that reading of it, that in the future, there's a subset of people who just

[27:34] pretend that they're robots and everyone has to, has to deal with it.

[27:37] And, and one of our conservative listeners now is like, well, that's where we're heading.

[27:41] Kids are going to decide they're robots and we're going to have to allow it.

[27:43] And I'm like, let's, come on, let's do this.

[27:45] Let's do this.

[27:46] It doesn't exist.

[27:47] And stop listening to our podcast.

[27:48] I mean, keep paying, keep sending us money, but don't listen.

[27:52] So Nermi, she's in the middle of giving Halstead a checkup.

[27:55] He kind of hits on her, but it's, as the movie unfolded, I was like, oh, he's just

[28:00] kind of being like a, like a, the way that like a friend would like make a joke about

[28:04] a friend.

[28:05] It's not a, he's not, I was worried there's going to be some scene where they have either

[28:08] a romance or harassment, but it's just, but she denies him anyway.

[28:11] He is tired of this mission and she has a son back home who's waiting for her.

[28:14] And he's like, how old is he now?

[28:16] And she goes three.

[28:17] And it's like, uh, thanks to the theory of relativity, that kid is probably like 50 years

[28:21] old now.

[28:22] Sorry, Dr. Nermi.

[28:23] Yeah.

[28:24] If the deleted scene from aliens taught me anything, it's your kid is a dead old person

[28:29] by now.

[28:30] So, um, Jaykowitz, he programs a black hole destroying missile, which as Stuart said is,

[28:34] is a CGI, uh, very, very flat graphic.

[28:38] And Maitland, he's getting annoyed at Vox's logical thinking, oh, why do you have to be

[28:41] so damn logical?

[28:42] And Maitland appears to work at a local news desk that has had foil put behind it.

[28:47] And I think that's exactly what it is.

[28:49] Yeah.

[28:50] This is, this is one of the more inexplicable choices because they're like a couple, they're

[28:55] couple of shots in this where I'm like, okay, someone who kind of knew what they were doing,

[29:00] like worked on this.

[29:01] There's like, you know, it looks, no, no, I mean it looks cheap, but you're like, you've

[29:05] got these CGI built environments of a spaceship and then you have, you know, uh, a wall that

[29:14] just has like billowing, uh, metallic fabric on it, shooting, uh, lights back into the

[29:21] camera.

[29:22] So it's similar to when they go to the, he goes to the futuristic comm device and it's

[29:27] clearly a desktop with an Apple logo right on the front of it.

[29:31] Yeah.

[29:32] I actually want to get to that, but like with this scene, I'm just like, does the same director

[29:35] look at this and be like, yeah, okay, sure.

[29:39] This is like, it seems like this director is pumping at about a movie a month.

[29:42] So I don't think he's spending that much time on it.

[29:44] Some of it has effort.

[29:45] I, but the thing I thought about when the Apple computer came up, I'm like, yeah, like

[29:49] in a better movie, like this could be like a sort of an Alphaville thing where not everything

[29:54] is modern.

[29:56] Like I kind of wonder, even a satirical thing where like they work for Apple.

[30:00] pulls the world government now and like,

[30:02] Apple has sent them out to blow up black holes

[30:04] or whatever, you could work with it.

[30:06] But it is, I mean, it is a movie in which

[30:08] not everything is futuristic because

[30:09] almost nothing they have is futuristic.

[30:11] But I like that this guy's sitting down

[30:13] to what is clearly just a computer on a desk,

[30:16] because I'm like, yeah, why wouldn't that

[30:18] still exist in the future?

[30:20] Why in the future does everything have to be

[30:21] built into a console or the wall,

[30:24] so you have to like, what happens if that wall

[30:27] needs to get ripped up or what, you know, like, yeah.

[30:28] It's a good point, but also, when they walk

[30:30] into a house, as we'll get to,

[30:31] they act as if they have no idea what it is,

[30:34] because it's so far in the future,

[30:35] which I think was very funny.

[30:36] But anyway, so House of Reports is reporting

[30:39] to Madam Tice, who seems to be some sort

[30:41] of galactic president, but also she keeps

[30:44] hitting on him and she invites him to get drinks

[30:46] when they come back for a rest break.

[30:48] It's kind of a wild interaction.

[30:50] Yeah, it starts out business and very quickly

[30:52] becomes pleasure.

[30:53] Well, also, she talks in such a, like,

[30:55] clearly, like, I'm making a double entendre

[30:58] like, sort of voice, where it's like,

[31:00] I've always found you to be very accommodating.

[31:04] It sent me into, like, this thought spiral

[31:06] where I'm like, do I know anyone who has ever,

[31:09] like, talked to me in that tone?

[31:13] Like, but it's not an entendre unless you give it

[31:18] that tone, because otherwise it just sounds like,

[31:20] I don't know.

[31:21] I mean, it's interesting acting.

[31:23] She may have, well, just been like,

[31:26] I thought maybe we could get together for some sex, quote.

[31:29] I'd be like, wait, so hold on, is that a not even entendre?

[31:33] Like, is that a zero entendre?

[31:35] If you're gonna be that obvious, why don't you just say,

[31:37] like, hey, I can't wait till you come back to Earth

[31:39] so we can fuck.

[31:40] Yeah, well, this is, because this movie is PG,

[31:43] I think, probably, technically.

[31:45] So they encounter, oh, no, there's some swearing in it.

[31:47] They encounter, so it is hard R.

[31:49] They encounter the largest black hole on record

[31:51] and they're about to shoot it with a missile

[31:52] when Vox says to stop, because there's an item

[31:55] floating through space and they're baffled

[31:56] as to what it is.

[31:57] It seems to be made out of wood with some metal

[31:59] and there's organic material.

[32:01] It's a house.

[32:01] They've never seen a house.

[32:02] This is less than 100 years in the future.

[32:04] And they've never seen, oh, that's right.

[32:06] No, this is less than, wait a minute.

[32:08] This is less than 1,000 years in the future.

[32:09] I did my math so wrong earlier.

[32:10] This is less than 1,000 years in the future.

[32:11] I meant to say earlier.

[32:13] And they don't know what a house is.

[32:14] And it's like, if you went back to the year 1022

[32:17] and you walked up to, you were in a village

[32:19] and you saw a house, you wouldn't be like,

[32:20] what is this, this thing?

[32:22] You'd be like, oh, it's an old house.

[32:23] It's some kind of mud-based domicile.

[32:26] Yeah, it's, I'm looking inside.

[32:28] I'm seeing some sort of bed-like thing.

[32:30] It's straws in some kind of primitive sleeping horizontal.

[32:36] But I meant to, earlier when I said 100 years,

[32:37] I meant to say 1,000 years.

[32:38] It's less than 1,000 years in the future,

[32:39] but they keep saying, later they're like,

[32:41] your religion disappeared eons ago.

[32:44] And it's like, eons ago?

[32:46] I don't know, that doesn't make any sense.

[32:48] But anyway, there's a house floating.

[32:50] They don't know what it is.

[32:51] It gives Dr. Nermy a scared feeling

[32:52] and Vox detects a life-form inside.

[32:54] And then they experience a shockwave,

[32:56] which creates a goat-head pentagram

[32:58] floating in space between them and the house.

[33:00] And it's great.

[33:01] Now, Elliot, Stuart, as metalheads,

[33:04] did you both just leap out of your seat

[33:07] and just sort of psychically astral project

[33:09] so you could high-five each other?

[33:10] Yeah, yeah.

[33:11] That's what happened.

[33:12] That's what happened.

[33:13] I immediately played all.

[33:14] Have you been secretly looking at our text thread?

[33:16] Yeah.

[33:18] Our collective text thread?

[33:19] No, the Stuart and Elliot secret text thread.

[33:23] I can't believe you would do that to me.

[33:25] I mean, Dan, you and I have a separate text thread

[33:26] from our floating house text thread.

[33:29] Don't tell Stuart!

[33:31] But you said I was special.

[33:33] You are special, just not that special.

[33:35] Anyway, I'm moving along.

[33:37] I thought that came out wrong.

[33:37] You're not making eye contact with me, Elliot.

[33:39] That's a clear sign that you're lying.

[33:43] No, but Dan, you're right.

[33:44] I immediately stopped listening to all three albums

[33:45] from Green Lung, the English pre-Christian metal band,

[33:50] and then went back to this one.

[33:52] They're all like, they're like, it seems evil.

[33:54] And then maybe the captain's like,

[33:56] could be a coincidence.

[33:59] This is some just cosmic thing that happens.

[34:01] Yeah, it's just a normal thing that happens.

[34:04] And we get a lot of shots where we see the spaceship,

[34:09] we see the black hole, we see the pentagram,

[34:11] and then we see the house.

[34:13] And it looks really cool,

[34:14] and it would be a great desktop background or a screensaver.

[34:18] Yeah, it's got a real adult swim type quality,

[34:21] a lot of this.

[34:22] So Maitland is like, send Vox to investigate.

[34:25] Now, we don't care if anything happens to him.

[34:27] He's just a cyborg.

[34:28] And that's when Dr. Nermy,

[34:32] for the first time we get to see the kind of like

[34:34] the ship CGI hallways with someone

[34:36] actually walking through them.

[34:37] And it doesn't work that great.

[34:38] It's just someone in front of a green screen with this CGI.

[34:42] And I imagine, Dan, the reason it looks so much better

[34:44] is they probably bought these pre-made from somewhere.

[34:46] Like these are, I imagine this is stock

[34:49] spaceship hallway graphics.

[34:51] That's a good point.

[34:52] And that's where the majority of the $700 budget

[34:55] went to probably.

[34:56] And she senses a presence right before something falls

[35:00] and narrowly misses her.

[35:01] And the way this is framed, I could not tell what it was.

[35:02] It seemed to be a support beam,

[35:04] but I don't know why you would have one of those

[35:05] in a spaceship hallway.

[35:07] It might've been a pool noodle.

[35:08] What was it that fell and almost hit her?

[35:10] It might be the sloppiest cat scare

[35:12] I've seen in a horror movie.

[35:13] Yeah, it was like a mop, right?

[35:16] It was like a mop panel, literally.

[35:18] I knew it was a long straight line of some kind.

[35:21] Yeah, it was basically just like the rake gag

[35:24] from the Simpsons.

[35:25] Yeah, yeah.

[35:26] And then she goes into her office and she's attacked by,

[35:29] she describes them as tentacles,

[35:30] but they look like pool noodles

[35:31] that are coming out of the camera.

[35:33] So it's like our monster's eye view of these pool noodles

[35:35] just hitting her.

[35:36] And then they disappear and she's like, what?

[35:38] And so Vox-

[35:39] And I don't know about you guys,

[35:41] but at this point I'm like,

[35:42] I think we're in for a good movie.

[35:44] Yeah, this movie has ticked off all the boxes of quality.

[35:48] So Vox beams over to the house and Nermy is like-

[35:50] Now, Elliot, let's clarify.

[35:52] So this spaceship has a transporter technology

[35:56] which involves somebody walking into like a little closet

[35:58] and you can clearly see on the back of the closet,

[36:01] it says, revolving dark room door.

[36:03] Yes, yeah.

[36:04] Printed on the wall,

[36:06] similar to the previously mentioned Apple logo

[36:09] on the Apple computer.

[36:10] Yeah, they were very,

[36:12] I mean, maybe there's something kind of Penn and Teller-ish

[36:15] about how open they are with the everyday props

[36:17] they were using for this.

[36:18] I mean, clearly they were relying on the performance

[36:21] to sell the illusion.

[36:22] This was the first-

[36:23] Exactly.

[36:24] It's like Dogma 95 sci-fi movie.

[36:26] Much like Frederick March and,

[36:29] sorry, Frederick March,

[36:30] Fred McMurray and Barbara Stanwyck had to mime

[36:34] using an ignition key in a car in Dublin Demnity

[36:38] because the fake car they were in did not have a real dash.

[36:41] So they had to mime turning the key,

[36:43] the engine not starting, being nervous,

[36:45] turning it again, the engine starting.

[36:48] These people have had to use the,

[36:50] fall on all their object work and their acting training

[36:52] to mime being in a transmitter

[36:54] that is not just a revolving dark room door.

[36:56] Yeah, no, I saw that sign,

[36:58] the revolving dark room door sign,

[37:00] and I immediately thought of the moment in Ed Wood

[37:03] where Tor Johnson walks into-

[37:08] When he bumps into the doorway.

[37:09] Walks into the doorway, and I was like,

[37:11] in real life, you deal with that problem every day

[37:13] because of the size.

[37:16] And there is a moment later on

[37:18] with a disembodied hand,

[37:19] and it's just like the scene with Bill Legosi

[37:20] having to wrap tentacles around himself

[37:22] and then pretend that he's fighting an octopus.

[37:25] So, Halstead, so Nermy is like,

[37:28] I was attacked by a tentacle monster and then disappeared.

[37:30] And Halstead goes,

[37:31] hmm, sounds like you got a case of nerves.

[37:32] Vox, he transmits into the house.

[37:35] We get his POV of just wandering around a house,

[37:37] very house of the devil.

[37:38] And he IDs it as a primitive living quarters with oxygen.

[37:41] And Jacob, which is like, I don't believe it.

[37:44] Everyone is always rude to Vox.

[37:46] They're so anti-cyborg.

[37:48] It's really offensive.

[37:49] And he wanders around for a while and there's a,

[37:50] suddenly, there's a hooded demon man on the stairs.

[37:54] Who's like, standing like he had just come down

[37:56] to like, meet his date.

[37:58] Or like, he was upstairs in his man cave

[38:01] and decided, yeah, I will have some ice cream,

[38:03] and walked halfway downstairs

[38:04] before realizing there was a cyborg in the living room.

[38:06] Dan, can you describe this demon creature?

[38:09] Well, you only see,

[38:13] I mean, don't you see like half his face?

[38:15] Because like the top half has like a fringe of a hood.

[38:20] A little modesty veil.

[38:21] Yeah, I mean, he's, I don't know.

[38:23] He's kind of like a dark, like a gray

[38:26] or purple-y kind of thing.

[38:27] He looks kind of prune-y faced.

[38:30] Yeah, your standard sort of demon, you know.

[38:34] Spirit Halloween demon mask.

[38:35] Yeah, off the rack mask.

[38:37] Yeah.

[38:38] Wearing a lot of black.

[38:39] He does have bare human hands.

[38:42] And when he moves his head in different directions,

[38:45] you can see he also has bare human skin in his neck joints.

[38:49] And as the movie goes on, I mean,

[38:51] obviously his lines were dubbed in afterwards.

[38:53] There's no moving mouth on the mask.

[38:55] But as the movie goes on,

[38:56] he gets more and more overly effusive

[38:58] with his head movements when he's supposed to be talking.

[39:01] To the point where it looks like he's just jerking

[39:03] his head around at times to represent speech.

[39:06] So Vox sees this demon, but his visual feedback

[39:09] to the spaceship is not showing it.

[39:11] And the demon calls himself Legion.

[39:13] And then Vox says, does not compute, which is hilarious.

[39:17] Yeah.

[39:18] I wish Legion had said.

[39:21] You're supposed to know all the names in the universe?

[39:24] Come on, Vox.

[39:25] Get out of here.

[39:25] It's not a Tobin spirit guide.

[39:26] I don't know.

[39:27] I wish that Legion had said,

[39:28] well, Vox is a pretty messed up name too.

[39:30] But Legion grabs Vox's face and the feed goes down.

[39:34] Oh no.

[39:35] And Jakowitz goes, let's just blow up the house.

[39:37] Who cares about Vox?

[39:38] And Halstead is like, no, we should rescue him.

[39:41] Actually, actually a good point.

[39:43] Yeah, we should rescue.

[39:44] He's got great infographics,

[39:46] can sort of explain difficult things in the news to us.

[39:50] Oh, yeah, he doesn't have Vox the website.

[39:52] Other things that Vox does.

[39:54] Yeah, yeah.

[39:55] They're very good at explaining ends of movies

[39:56] that needed no explaining.

[39:57] Clarity.

[40:00] the union by the way? I would say Vox tends to actually stick itself to the ones that

[40:05] actually explain it. I don't know about that. Other sites have no problem being like. Yeah

[40:11] before we praise them too much, do they recognize their union or no? I don't remember, I don't

[40:16] remember. No I don't know anything about the workings of them. I don't want to make any

[40:19] claims for them as a work site. They do explain the news well, but they should pay people

[40:26] to write. We here at the flop house agree. We stand up for labor organization and fair

[40:31] wages, in fact more than fair wages. Forget fair wages, generous wages. Extravagant wages.

[40:37] Yeah exactly, ludicrously extravagant wages and healthcare. So Halsted and Nermy, they

[40:43] take plastic guns and they beam over. These plastic guns are so funny. They just tweak

[40:48] plastic lasers and almost throughout the movie, whenever you have them firing, they are very

[40:52] noticeably pointing them off frame, so you just hear the sound effect. And later on,

[40:56] they have to check their weapons before they all go into the haunted house. And Maitland

[41:00] is checking the weapons. He just kind of shakes them or like squeezes them a little bit because

[41:04] there's no way to check them. They have no moving parts. Also, you know, the one I remember

[41:09] most was like just sort of flat red. They did no additional painting to sort of give

[41:14] it. I would have loved like a bad boys or like a like a hot fuzz style gear up montage

[41:19] for these crappy weapons. There's no indicating that like none of the actors are making any

[41:24] effort to indicate weight. No, not at all. Plastic weight weapons. Yeah, yeah. I wish

[41:30] they're just sticking them in their side pockets of their pants. So they go, so the two of them

[41:35] beam onto the ship. They transmit over and they just kind of spend their time again,

[41:39] Morehouse the Devil stuff, just walking around. They try out recliners. They laugh at noise TV.

[41:43] This seems to be like some kind of primitive nutrition center.

[41:48] Yeah, when they go to the kitchen. That was the part that made me when they laugh at the TV,

[41:52] they're like, look at that monitor. I'm like, you were just using like just a normal

[41:58] iMac Pro earlier. In a bunch of the scenes, they have tube monitors. They have old TVs that are

[42:04] hugely deep because they have vacuum tubes in them. Like that's crazy. Exactly the same.

[42:09] Or whatever kind of tube it is, an old TV. But yeah, a flat screen TV, you'd think they'd be

[42:13] cool. Look at this. And Normie is briefly spooked by a hand scuttling along the floor and Halstead

[42:20] rolls his eyes at her. Medical officers always seeing things. Yeah. And they find Vox depowered

[42:25] on the floor. Halstead goes, looks like something tore him to pieces, which is not the case at all.

[42:29] He's not sure at all. It's ridiculous. That's when you kind of have to go off script to kind

[42:34] of deal with your actual environment. I guess that's not an actor. He decided to radio play

[42:40] it a little bit just to just to give the audience more of a excitement. And then Legion's glowing

[42:47] eyes appear before Normie and she walks upstairs in a trance and points to a closet door while the

[42:52] zombie hand is creeping around. Halstead opens the door and it's a closet. Inside is Father Benna

[42:56] in what appears to be like a coma or something. And Normie comes out of her trance anxious. She

[43:00] doesn't remember it. And they transfer back, taking Father Benna with them. Maybe this

[43:04] retired clown can tell them what's going on in this haunted house. And here's where I want to

[43:08] stop and say one thing. Yeah. Watching this movie, I was like, when we picked Amityville

[43:13] in space, I was like, this is a dumb idea for a movie. And then watching it, the more and more I

[43:16] was like, this is a good idea for a movie. Like, it's a really cool idea to have. Don't have the

[43:20] opening. We have a spaceship. Find a haunted house, like a real house floating in space,

[43:25] and they got to put on their spacesuits and wander around this house. Maybe the house is much bigger

[43:29] on the inside than it appears on the outside. It's spooky, you know, and there's ghosts. I love the

[43:32] idea of astronauts like spacemen having to explore a really scary haunted house. But this movie has

[43:39] no budget and it doesn't have any ideas of what to do with this. So I felt like I just wasted it.

[43:44] You know, the movie you're describing, Elliot, is not far from Event Horizon, which is a really

[43:49] good movie. It is really good. And I wish that Event Horizon could have gone further and been

[43:53] instead of a haunted spaceship that takes the place of a house like a real. I think there's

[43:56] something really scary about like you go to like finding a house in space and wandering through it

[44:01] and like for some reason it has gravity. Like the laws of reality don't affect this house.

[44:06] It's really cool, but it's not what they do in this movie. But anyways, the version that I want

[44:10] is they find a haunted fun house in space. Oh, it's waiting for the sequel. Astronauts walking around

[44:18] and then like just like a spring loaded skeleton. I mean, that's like a very good sequel to

[44:25] Killer Clowns from Outer Space. Some air bursts into their face. Man, I did the spookarama at the

[44:31] Coney Island recently. There's a part that we went by that was just like

[44:36] like when you go to the eye doctor to get your eyes tested and they

[44:40] burst a bunch of air into your eyes. And that was all. I guess the scary thing is I don't know

[44:45] what diseases just came out of my body. He said, I know the spookarama was in 4D.

[44:49] Whoa. So there they they find Benna. They take him back and Nermy examines. It goes,

[44:54] oh, Ben is not dead. He's in some sort of suspended animation. And it's a surprisingly

[44:58] casual conversation because they found an ancient house with a person in it and brought

[45:03] him back and he's still alive. It's just kind of very casual about it. And then Ben opens his eyes

[45:07] and he's clearly he's clearly missing a hand. Yes. The space pentagram starts glowing and

[45:12] Ben starts choking Nermy, which you think he would be able to do that. Well, he's just got

[45:16] the one hand and then he snaps out of it and yells, no, no, and runs away. Red alert, red alert. Oh,

[45:22] quick cut montage of stuff has been a wanders through the green screen corridors. There's

[45:25] a red alert siren. He runs to the weapons room and starts typing on a keyboard and then Halston

[45:29] Maitland hit him with a stun ray. And they're like, how did he know the launch sequence?

[45:34] And we never learned that. How we know we don't sequence. We get a demon's eye view of wandering

[45:38] around the house for a while. And Legion is just going to talk to himself about how there's so many

[45:43] places to rule on high in this new future. And the the crew goes into what appears to be either

[45:49] utility room or a conference room. And they interrogate Benna. And he goes, I'm from Earth.

[45:54] And they go, Earth. Oh, yeah, that was that planet that was destroyed by an exploding sun

[45:58] centuries ago. And he's like, oh, yeah, I believe in God. And they're like, huh, that's an ancient

[46:02] thing. Nobody remembers that anymore. It's things have changed so much in less than a thousand

[46:06] years. And it's it's pretty impressive that he has such a good grasp of galactic common as well.

[46:11] Yeah, that that universal basic in English still remains the same language.

[46:16] That's true. There's been no language drift over the centuries and millennia.

[46:22] Yeah. Or ethnic drift. You can still have an all white crew of this of this intergalactic ship.

[46:26] You never see a nonwhite person in the entire movie, I think.

[46:30] Benna handles all this and he learns that he handles this information pretty easily.

[46:33] It's not that big a shock to him to learn that he's in the future and the Earth is

[46:37] going to have a lot going on back. That's true. I'm it seems. And he's like, I mean,

[46:41] he's still coping with the loss of a hand. That's that's true. Everything everything

[46:45] falls before that. Well, you know, every you know, it seems like a small sacrifice to him.

[46:51] In the face of say, I mean, to defeat Satan, I'd lose a hand, too. It's a pretty that's a

[46:54] pretty fair because you'd be famous for one thing. You get a cool robot hands like in I

[46:58] Know Who Killed Me. True. Yep. And I will say maybe it's that it's the enormity of the thing.

[47:02] There's that scene in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy where Arthur Dent can't quite comprehend

[47:06] the idea of no more Earth. And so he has to think about how there's no more McDonald's

[47:10] hamburgers. And that's something that he can kind of feel something about because it's small enough

[47:13] for him to comprehend. And I think about that all the time, how there's going to come a point when

[47:18] either I die and Popeye's is still around or Popeye's ends before I die. And I don't know

[47:23] which one I'd be sadder about if I die. And I know there's still Popeye's chicken out there that I'm

[47:28] not going to get to eat or if Popeye's runs its course before I do. And I have to live a life

[47:32] without that amazing, delicious chicken because I love that chicken from Popeye's. Guys, which

[47:36] do you think would be worse? Oh, I thought your sadness. Well, I mean, like you're going to die

[47:42] either way, Elliot. So I thought the sadness in the one scenario was just, you know, your children

[47:49] and your children's children denied the chance to know the deliciousness. I mean, that's I mean,

[47:54] my children already know it well. But yeah, I want my grandchildren to know it. Certainly,

[47:57] there is a chance that Elliot will be loudly having a conversation in an inn about how he

[48:02] will never die. And then death and the Lord of Dreams will be walking by, overhear him and grant

[48:10] his wish and he'll live forever. What a sweet deal. And every hundred years, I know I don't

[48:13] have to make plans on one day because I already have. So, you know, occasionally it could happen

[48:19] that Elliot, you know, takes the bag that death has and orders death into the bag. Yeah. Yeah.

[48:27] And all I really wanted was said all I wanted was a deck of magic cards that never lost. But instead,

[48:31] I decided to put death in that bag. Yeah. Yeah. Well, these are all good possibilities. All

[48:37] things that have happened. Pick your own. Yeah. Choose your own death venture. So he's like,

[48:42] well, anyway, it's a house and I there's evil in it and I fought it and I lost my hand and God took

[48:46] us up into the heavens. And Halsted is like, this guy's crazy. And Bennett says this demon won't stop

[48:51] until it destroys the galaxy, which I don't know why he would assume that it's not what the demon

[48:55] is saying. The demon wants to rule the galaxy. Yeah. And Nermy is like, I believe him. And

[49:00] Halsted says it's all a series of coincidences. And they lock up and they take him out of that

[49:04] room and take him to what looks like the same room and lock him up. And but then avows to the

[49:08] universe that he's going to finish this. And Nermy is like, are we ever going to get home?

[49:13] And Halsted goes, sure, we will. And Bennett gets those demon floaty eyes again. And then the eyes

[49:19] go down the ship's corridor to the Apple computer that Halsted uses. And when he calls Madam Tice,

[49:27] Legion calls Madam Tice and then chokes her through the computer and turns her evil. And

[49:32] you kind of wonder at the after that point, why is Legion bothering with anything else on this

[49:36] space? Yeah, man. When he's turned, there's no transmit over normal radio frequency. And he's

[49:41] already he's already converted the empress of the galactic kingdom or something. At the very least,

[49:47] the head of this corporation. Yeah. Yeah. And Maitland falls asleep at his post. And this is

[49:56] the series each. This is a series of scenes in which each of the crew members has.

[50:00] the dream where Legion transports them to the house or somewhere and messes with them

[50:03] in some way.

[50:04] So Maitland wakes up in the house and it's implied, I guess, that Legion is crushing

[50:09] him.

[50:10] You hear like crushing noises, but Maitland's just going, ah, ah, ah, and then he wakes

[50:13] up at his desk and goes, what the fuck?

[50:15] Which was hilarious.

[50:17] And then Legion wanders into the weapons room and he sends Jakowitz into sort of a space

[50:21] void where he encounters an evil vision of Benna and the zombie hand grabs Jakowitz's

[50:25] head and he tries to shoot off the zombie hand and shoots himself and then wakes up

[50:28] and goes, huh?

[50:29] And then Nermy transported to the house and she gets a headache and she's attacked by

[50:33] evil versions of her crewmates and Vox stabs her and Nermy goes, why?

[50:37] And Legion goes, because I want to.

[50:40] And the delivery is hilarious.

[50:41] Yeah.

[50:42] Yeah.

[50:43] And like that last one causes damage.

[50:45] But up until that point, it's just like, OK, I guess they're having bad dreams.

[50:48] Well, this is still a bad dream because Legion snaps her neck and she wakes up crying.

[50:52] And then Ben is tossing and turning in his sleep and Halsted, now he finally appears

[50:57] in the house and he gets surprised by Legion and he goes, what the hell?

[51:00] And Legion says, exactly.

[51:01] Hell.

[51:02] Oh, that's great.

[51:03] And he and Halsted, for some reason, can now go on to have a very casual conversation about

[51:08] the nature of evil.

[51:10] And Legion, his personality is never quite clear.

[51:12] I love it.

[51:13] Yeah.

[51:14] He goes, he goes, he goes, I am, shall we say, malevolent.

[51:17] I shall say that.

[51:22] Not to put too fine a point on it.

[51:24] Some have described me as pure evil.

[51:27] Yeah.

[51:28] And he's it's very weird to have Legion suddenly be like the like chatty kind of charming devil

[51:34] when before it was just kind of a mean devil.

[51:37] Don't worry, I'm the baddie.

[51:40] And they talk about good and evil and Satan's backstory.

[51:43] And Legion goes, do you like the devil's backbone?

[51:45] Yeah.

[51:46] The devil's backbone and the devil's staircase, which is part of the West Highland Way.

[51:49] It's a devil's funny bone.

[51:51] The devil's power.

[51:54] The devil's anvil, syrup and other bone in your ear, hammer, hammer, that's what it is.

[52:00] And Legion goes, do you like to play games?

[52:02] And Halsted says, no, which is a hilarious response.

[52:08] It makes you wonder if in the beginning of Scream, when he says, do you like scary movies?

[52:11] Does she say yes or no?

[52:12] Because if he was like, do you like scary movies?

[52:14] And she goes, no.

[52:15] And he goes, oh, well, I guess you don't have a frame of reference for what I'm doing right

[52:18] now.

[52:20] So is it what I expected?

[52:22] She indicates a general fondness for the genre.

[52:24] OK.

[52:25] Yeah.

[52:26] Yeah.

[52:27] And Halsted's eyes start to bleed and he wakes up seeming slightly perturbed.

[52:30] Halsted is never really affected by much of anything.

[52:32] Anyway, Benna wakes up, he sees Legion on the ship and Benna seems more annoyed than

[52:37] scared.

[52:38] Wait a minute, is this is this where he wakes up on his cot and you can clearly see somebody

[52:41] standing in front of him and he like takes his time, he puts his hat on his head, he

[52:46] sits up in his cot.

[52:47] Yeah.

[52:48] And then he looks up and then it cuts to Legion just standing there.

[52:51] Yeah.

[52:52] Yeah.

[52:53] And Legion was very politely waiting for him to adjust himself and get ready for the conversation.

[52:57] Legion is like, God is gone.

[52:59] Evil has won.

[53:00] We're in the void.

[53:01] There is no God here.

[53:02] Which implies.

[53:03] OK, Dan, your dad is a minister, right?

[53:04] So well, he was at one point.

[53:08] OK.

[53:09] He said he was kicked out of the church.

[53:10] Right.

[53:11] But he has a basic.

[53:12] He's a basic understanding.

[53:13] So he was a minister.

[53:14] Then he became a theology professor.

[53:15] And now he is retired.

[53:16] Oh, OK.

[53:17] I thought you said something about failed exorcisms.

[53:19] Yeah.

[53:20] Many failed exorcisms.

[53:21] So the idea that in the void of space, there's no people, I guess.

[53:26] So there's no God really runs up against my idea.

[53:29] My understanding of God, which is that the entirety of creation is his and he's everywhere.

[53:33] Yes.

[53:34] I'm in the places where there's no people.

[53:35] I'm omnipotent.

[53:36] Yeah.

[53:37] Yeah.

[53:38] I mean, yeah, I maybe he means that like in the same way that, you know, there's certain

[53:44] parts of my life that are that I don't think about at all because it would just be sort

[53:49] of a waste of my time.

[53:50] Oh, I see.

[53:51] You know, so maybe God's just not paying a lot of attention.

[53:54] So the vast, vast, vast reaches of outer space are kind of like a gym membership God has

[53:59] that he just forgets about because it gets auto build every month.

[54:02] OK.

[54:03] I can see that.

[54:04] And it reminds me of the time when I went through a really rough patch and I'm sorry.

[54:09] And I said, God, what's going on?

[54:10] And he said, look behind you in space.

[54:13] And I said, well, there's just one spaceship.

[54:15] And he goes, those were the times when I was piloting the spaceship and you were in hypersleep.

[54:20] And I was like, God, I don't think the metaphor really works the way you want it to.

[54:24] What is hypersleep?

[54:25] Anyway, he's like, you know, it's kind of like a cold hibernation of some kind.

[54:28] Well, wouldn't you want to say cry asleep?

[54:30] Plus.

[54:31] Yeah.

[54:32] It's like sleep.

[54:33] Plus, you know, sounds pretty good.

[54:35] This is even better.

[54:36] Well, it's like a full night's sleep, but you do it in 10 minutes.

[54:40] Yeah.

[54:41] Oh, amazing.

[54:42] That's pretty good, actually.

[54:45] So they talk about how evil's over and Legion says, why don't you join me and serve at my

[54:49] right hand?

[54:50] Wouldn't that be ironic?

[54:52] Which is a good move that he almost got it.

[54:58] He's like, it would be ironic.

[54:59] I love the irony of that.

[55:02] This is when he's really overacting, his head bobbing for the for the conversation.

[55:04] And he goes on for a while.

[55:05] They talk about prophecies.

[55:06] Then he realizes he's lost his cross and he asked God why he's forsaken him.

[55:10] And then evil Madame Tice calls Halstead and berates him.

[55:12] And you can tell she's evil because she annunciates everything she's saying.

[55:17] Captain Halstead, because that's how evil people talk is that her hair is kind of in

[55:21] her face.

[55:22] Yeah.

[55:23] And her hair is a little bit messier.

[55:24] Yeah.

[55:25] And she says toe the house.

[55:27] Not full like Ringu or anything, but, you know, it's, you know, right.

[55:32] It's not brushed goatee for like hair indicator.

[55:37] Yes.

[55:38] Yes.

[55:39] It's a little bit brush goatee.

[55:40] You're evil at that point.

[55:41] Yeah.

[55:42] Yeah.

[55:43] And she says, tow the house back to the home planet.

[55:44] The Council of Elders has spoken and he goes, well, I disagree with the elders.

[55:47] And she threatens him.

[55:48] He calls an emergency meeting.

[55:49] And that's what Halstead encounters Legion in the hall.

[55:51] And we hear but don't see the fire.

[55:53] Yeah.

[55:54] Legion is just kind of hanging around.

[55:56] And Halstead points his gun off camera and then we hear blasters and Legion disappears.

[56:01] Everybody meets up.

[56:02] Halstead's like, I believe Benin now.

[56:03] Now that I know that the empress is evil and there's a demon on the ship, I've seen him.

[56:07] And Benin goes, we have to destroy the house to stop Legion.

[56:10] He says, quote, it's it's life for it.

[56:13] That's the point of its life force, for whatever reason, because the movie is not bothering.

[56:16] It's kind of like in a in the Rise of Skywalker where they were like the emperor's back somehow.

[56:21] Yeah.

[56:22] Yada, yada, yada, the emperor.

[56:25] And they say they're going to set explosive charges in the house, blow it up and then

[56:29] nuke the black hole.

[56:30] And Madame Tice calls, but they pretend they can't hear that the call is coming in.

[56:34] Oh, terrible reception.

[56:35] Oh, we're going through a space tunnel.

[56:36] Literally the joke they use.

[56:37] Yeah.

[56:38] They think they do say terrible reception.

[56:39] They prep their equipment, which means just kind of shaking plastic guns.

[56:40] And Benin prays.

[56:41] They beam into the house and Benin finds his dropped holy water and Tice calls and orders

[56:42] Jacob to stand down.

[56:43] But he gives away their plans and she demonize him.

[56:44] And they plant the charges.

[56:45] And then he charges.

[56:46] Are there like bombs?

[56:47] Right?

[56:48] Yes.

[56:49] Yeah.

[56:50] They're like, they look like they look like tiny little little bombs.

[56:51] Yeah.

[56:52] That you put your keys in or something.

[56:53] Yes.

[56:54] Which is probably what they are.

[56:55] And Jake, what's blasts Maitland in a trance.

[56:56] And I was like, oh, no, how are they going to beam back the zombie hand attacks and then

[56:57] the house shakes and a kind of how would you describe this monster?

[56:58] I see it seemed to be like a coughed up hairball, but it's not.

[56:59] It's not.

[57:00] It's not.

[57:01] It's not.

[57:02] It's not.

[57:03] It's not.

[57:04] It's not.

[57:05] It's not.

[57:06] It's not.

[57:07] It's not.

[57:08] It's not.

[57:09] It's not.

[57:10] It's not.

[57:11] It's not.

[57:12] It's not.

[57:13] It's not.

[57:14] It's not.

[57:15] It's not.

[57:16] It's not.

[57:18] it's not.

[57:19] It's not.

[57:20] It's not.

[57:21] It's not.

[57:22] It's not.

[57:23] It's not.

[57:24] It's not.

[57:25] It's not.

[57:26] It's not.

[57:27] It's not.

[57:28] It's not.

[57:29] It's not.

[57:30] It's not.

[57:31] It's not a kind of how would you describe this monster?

[57:32] I see it seemed to be like a coughed up hairball covered in eyes and tentacles, so OK, so a

[57:33] little backstory.

[57:34] I mean, I would describe this monster as sort of like a monster made out of yarn that sort

[57:35] of undulating and it's got a bunch of like googly eyes on it.

[57:36] Now, I will backstory.

[57:37] Audrey's nephew, Si, was here last night and part of the day we were babysitting.

[57:44] Basically, do not tell me you showed him Amityville in space.

[57:47] No.

[57:48] Well, I here's the thing.

[57:49] Like we went, we got up early, went to the park with the understanding that I would leave

[57:54] at a certain point.

[57:56] They would stay out.

[57:57] They'd meet size mom.

[57:58] They'd all go to Ikea, as previously said, you know, and the point was, I feel like I'm

[58:05] watching go.

[58:06] It's different stories that are all intersecting out of order.

[58:09] Yeah.

[58:10] So I don't want this kid to see any of Amityville in space because it is nominally a horror

[58:15] movie like ahead of watching it.

[58:17] I'm like, it's probably not going to be scary, but probably best not for the kid to see it.

[58:24] And then Audrey at a certain point was like, it's too hot.

[58:27] We got to come back.

[58:28] We're going to hang out in the other room like that's fine.

[58:30] This movie is just boring.

[58:33] It's not scary at all.

[58:35] And then the one part that side was around where a monster was there.

[58:39] It was this monster.

[58:40] And I'm like, this monster is just kind of cute.

[58:43] It looks like something in a yoga, but yeah, yeah, Cyrus looked over and he goes, pretty

[58:47] cute.

[58:48] And so I guess I would say his hair wasn't bleached white from terror.

[58:54] Yeah.

[58:55] This film, this horror, this ostensible horror movie has failed to scare a six year old.

[58:59] So probably it may not have, you know, reached all its core competencies.

[59:04] It's a good thing we didn't watch it for Shocktovers, which is saying true.

[59:08] So this monster, he starts out, correct me if I'm wrong.

[59:11] He seemed to start out stop motion and then he was clearly just a model.

[59:14] They were waving in front of the camera, right?

[59:16] Yeah.

[59:17] And that's what it looks like.

[59:18] Yeah.

[59:19] Yeah.

[59:20] And they run away from it really easily.

[59:21] They escape into a closet and that's when they learn Jake Witts has been corrupted.

[59:25] And oh, yeah.

[59:26] Benna throws holy water on the monster.

[59:28] And the captain reveals.

[59:29] So I was like, how are they going to beam back?

[59:31] And the captain goes, oh, well, I do have this pocket, this machine in my pocket that

[59:34] I never mentioned before.

[59:35] That is the power to beam us back.

[59:38] And it works just fine.

[59:40] They beat up Jake Witts.

[59:41] They set off the charges and blow up the house.

[59:43] Legion yells.

[59:44] And then Jake Witts creeps out cartoonishly like that.

[59:47] It is this.

[59:48] They're like, we did it.

[59:49] We blew up the house.

[59:50] They're all bent over a console.

[59:52] And Jake Witts, he might as well just be on tiptoes with a piano going, do dee dee dee.

[59:58] He creeps out so easily.

[1:00:00] It looks like he's trying to... it looks like he's a performer who's just trying to

[1:00:04] like slip off stage without anyone noticing. Yes, there's a real children's pantomime kind of like

[1:00:09] where's Jacobowitz? Behind you! Behind you! What? Behind here? No, over there! Over there!

[1:00:15] Like that element to it. He's about to start the missiles to launch, I'm not sure why,

[1:00:21] and Nermy shoots him and then they redirect the missile after it's been launched to nuke that

[1:00:25] pentagram in space. Do that pentagram! Which means also that the black hole is still there and

[1:00:32] Benna says goodbye, I've accomplished my mission and just wanders off. He's on the same spaceship

[1:00:37] as him, like I don't know where he's going or what he's doing. It's such a funny exit.

[1:00:42] Like they're just gonna bump into him in the crew lounge. Sometimes you just need your own

[1:00:47] space, you need to have this feeling of control where you can control your physical environment.

[1:00:52] I have to imagine like he's been waiting a thousand years almost to defeat Legion and

[1:00:57] they finally did it and I'm sure he's feeling glad but there's also got to be an emptiness

[1:01:01] about that. Like this was his whole life for a long time and now what does he have?

[1:01:04] Everything he knows is gone, he's stuck on the spaceship. He's missing a hand. Although it's

[1:01:10] the future, I bet they can give him a new one. They have cyborgs and the heroes realize their

[1:01:14] engines were knocked out and they're drifting towards the black hole and Nermy says they should

[1:01:18] pray. Then that's when Ben sprinkles holy water around again and he lures Legion into the

[1:01:23] transmitter. I forgot Legion is still on the ship and he basically walks into the transmitter and

[1:01:30] allows Legion to walk in with him and start strangling him and then Halsted beams them

[1:01:35] both into space and then blasts them with the ship's lasers and then we get a quick moment

[1:01:40] where Ben arrives in heaven and is told he did a good job. It's amazing, no notes.

[1:01:46] The ship falls into the black hole. Oops, all black holes episode of this.

[1:01:52] Tice's fleet arrives to find only the black hole and Tice laughs evilly and her eyes grow

[1:01:57] demony. She says all according to plan. What was that plan? That's got to be just for

[1:02:06] the public. Her greatest enemy Father Ben is dead in heaven. The Legion's gone,

[1:02:13] that house is destroyed, the pentagram is pentagon. You gotta assume it's like whenever

[1:02:20] anything happened under President Trump and he'd be like, yeah, like we meant to have happen,

[1:02:25] this is exactly what it's supposed to be. I meant to slip on that banana and

[1:02:31] dive into a pile of shit is a dream I had about Trump once. So Amityville in space,

[1:02:38] it does not leave you with a the end question mark. No, it could. I feel like it ends with

[1:02:45] an exclamation point. Yeah. And here's and I'm just learning this now from the MTV page. Here's

[1:02:50] the tagline to the movie. Screams go unheard in space. Well, it's a it's a bootleg mock

[1:02:58] mockbuster of a tagline for a different movie. Legally distinct from legally different enough.

[1:03:05] So this is this is the part of the podcast where we do final judgments. Clearly, we were all pretty

[1:03:10] into it. This is a good movie, a bad, bad movie or a movie we kind of liked. I'll just go really

[1:03:19] fast, which is that, as I said, I texted Elliot. It's a little too boring for us. Silly. It is like

[1:03:26] I there's a charm to this kind of movie that is that goes for me beyond mere like irony.

[1:03:33] Like I don't like I don't find a lot of joy just being like, ha ha, that we're dumb.

[1:03:38] Like that's that's that's a little bit of joy doing that. Maybe sometimes. But in general,

[1:03:44] I watch a movie like this. I kind of enjoy the genuine sort of joy of low budget filmmaking

[1:03:51] where it's like you watch something like Be Kind, Rewind, where they're

[1:03:55] sweeping all these blockbusters and there's get their homemade versions of the special effects.

[1:03:59] The difference with that being that Be Kind, Rewind is a medium budget movie where they're

[1:04:03] pretending to make low budget movies. Yeah, sure. But there is like something

[1:04:07] charming about this kind of movie a lot of the time. Unfortunately, this version,

[1:04:14] I just felt was a lot of, as Elliot said, walking around halls, people having conversations

[1:04:20] and not enough genuine strangeness. I if you're going to watch a Mark Polonia movie,

[1:04:27] go back to the beginning where like he and his twin brother, who has since sadly passed,

[1:04:34] did a bunch of stuff at the beginning where I think they were trying a little harder, maybe.

[1:04:37] Yeah. Before it became a an idea of like, OK, well, this is our this is our business model.

[1:04:45] And I saw Feeders, too, and found that a lot more kind of goofy fun.

[1:04:51] But this one I found that bad. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I feel like this is

[1:04:56] pretty close to a good, bad movie. It's very silly. But you're right. Like there's

[1:05:02] there's not enough effort involved to be like, I don't know, to get like joy out of it. Like,

[1:05:08] it feels like it's just kind of cranked out. Like, let's get this done in one take.

[1:05:13] Let's spend as little money as possible and hopefully we'll get some make our money back,

[1:05:17] which would be almost impossible not to. I think this movie is fairly boring.

[1:05:24] I think it is short enough that it could be a good, bad movie if you're with other people.

[1:05:29] It's a very short four minutes. Yes, it's very short. And but I think on its own. Yeah,

[1:05:34] it is a bad, bad movie. I was hoping it would be like dancing, sillier. And like,

[1:05:40] I thought I was hoping for more of a bonkers energy, you know,

[1:05:46] but instead it feel for a movie that didn't certainly didn't have to be made.

[1:05:50] And it felt like a lot. There's a fair amount of kind of going through the motions of what a movie

[1:05:54] like this is. But if you want to laugh at extremely low budget things, then this is

[1:05:59] it's not the worst. But there are better ones out there. For instance, I was just looking while we

[1:06:06] Dan, while you were talking at the without the sound, I was looking at the trailer for Noah's

[1:06:09] Shark. And there is a part where someone is being attacked by what appears to be a hand puppet of a

[1:06:13] shark. So. So you could try that. Pretty good. Hey there, I'm Ellen Weatherford,

[1:06:23] and I'm Christian Weatherford. And we've got big feelings about animals that we just got to share.

[1:06:29] On just the zoo of us, your new favorite animal review podcast. We're here to critically evaluate

[1:06:34] how each animal excels and how it doesn't rating them out of 10 on their effectiveness, ingenuity

[1:06:39] and aesthetics. Guest experts give you their takes informed by actual real life experiences

[1:06:45] studying and working with very cool animals like sharks, cheetahs and sea turtles. It's a field

[1:06:51] trip to the zoo for your ears. So if you or your kids have ever wondered if a pigeon can count,

[1:06:56] why sloths move so slow or how a spider sees the world. Find out with us every Wednesday

[1:07:01] on just the zoo of us in its natural habitat on maximum fun dot org. Listen and subscribe

[1:07:07] wherever you get your podcasts.

[1:07:14] Carrie, is it? Oh, yes. Hi, I'm Carrie. I am Psychic Ross, and I will be reading you this

[1:07:19] evening. Oh, interesting. Well, OK, I co-host a podcast. It's called Ono Ross and Carrie. Yes,

[1:07:25] I'm sensing that the spirits are telling me it is a show about. Well, it's about like

[1:07:29] fringe science and spirituality and claims of the paranormal. Oh, you knew that you do

[1:07:35] research online, you. But more importantly, like we do in person investigation, investigate.

[1:07:40] Yeah. Well, my God, that's amazing. See me and my friend. This is so weird. My friend Ross,

[1:07:45] same name as you. Weird. He and I just go and try them all out. And actually,

[1:07:48] we've gone to a number of psychics. And to be honest with you, it's a lot like this.

[1:07:52] It's called Ono Ross and Carrie. They can find it at maximum fun dot org. I could have told you that.

[1:07:58] Hey, if you if you want to have some of the joy of a movie about a haunted house in space,

[1:08:04] but you don't want to actually watch a haunted house in space, micro dosing, that's a that's

[1:08:08] maybe an option. Yeah, that's true. Got your own haunted one. Same vibe. You've probably heard

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[1:08:52] and use code flop to get free shipping and 30 percent off your first order. Links can be found

[1:08:58] in the show description. But again, that's micro dose dot com code flop. Elliot, do you want to

[1:09:06] plug anything? Perhaps the graphic novel I just read? Sure, I'd love to. Dan is referring to

[1:09:12] Maniac of New York Volume two. The Bronx is burning. That's right. It's the second

[1:09:17] Maniac of New York comic from Aftershock Comics. I wrote it. Andre Moody, the great artist,

[1:09:22] did the art for it. And it's continuing the adventures of all your favorite characters

[1:09:27] from the first Maniac of New York book. Maniac Harry, of course, the mindless slasher that is

[1:09:32] plaguing New York, but also Gina Green and Zelda Pettybone, the two women determined to stop him.

[1:09:38] And I know Dan enjoyed it. Right. I mean, he was texting me when he was reading it. He seemed to

[1:09:44] like I mean, part of that was me, you know, sort of wanting to get credit for being a good friend

[1:09:50] in the same way that, you know, a petty person such as myself, like has a hard time, you know,

[1:09:57] putting a tip into a tip jar without.

[1:10:00] letting the person know that they have it and exactly been tipped because I'm

[1:10:04] just so scared about the way other people think of me, Elliot, and whether they think that I am doing...

[1:10:10] But, on top of all my personal issues, I thought it was a very, very good comic

[1:10:17] that I enjoyed. I gulped it down in one sitting, and I think all of you, if you

[1:10:24] enjoy The Flophouse, if you enjoy this sort of thing, maybe it's something that

[1:10:26] you would enjoy as well. Yeah, I think so, too. So that's The Maniac of New York,

[1:10:29] Volume 2, The Bronx is Burning. If you haven't read the first one, Maniac of New

[1:10:32] York, Volume 1, The Death Train, pick them both up, and perhaps we'll see more of

[1:10:37] Maniac Harry in the future, but this is all there is right now, the two books.

[1:10:41] Perfect, perfect stocking stuffers. And if you've got kids, I mean, they are, for

[1:10:46] the horror fan in your life, if it's a wide enough stocking. Yeah, I guess, if you're not, yeah, if you're

[1:10:50] not afraid of the trade paperback maybe bending a little bit. Yeah. Be careful

[1:10:54] about how you insert it into the stocking. I mean, you don't know what my stockings look like. Yeah, yeah, sure is known for his wide

[1:10:58] stockings. And if you have kids, don't show them that comic, but do play them the

[1:11:02] Who Was podcast, a podcast I co-host with Megan O'Neill, and it's on iHeartRadio,

[1:11:08] but also available wherever your podcasts are available, and it's a

[1:11:10] history quiz show podcast for kids, kid contestants, kid listeners, adult

[1:11:15] historical figures. No swears, right? No swearing, no inappropriate humor, it's the

[1:11:21] opposite of the Flophouse, it is very focused and all ages, so, and worthwhile,

[1:11:25] there's information in it. So, if it's for kids, it's basically just like Minions

[1:11:29] shit, right? There's a lot of, no, there's no Minions stuff in it, which my children

[1:11:33] are very unhappy about because they're obsessed with Minions right now, but

[1:11:36] that's the Who Was podcast. Get it? With podcasts, for kids. Stu, what about you?

[1:11:40] What have you got to promote? Oh, hey, I have two bars in Brooklyn, we have

[1:11:45] Hinterland's Bar and Minnie's Bar, just come by, say hi, why not? Also, if you

[1:11:50] email, if you're like, I want to support Hinterland's Bar and my favorite

[1:11:55] podcaster in the world, Stuart Wellington, you can just, you can get some

[1:11:58] Hinterland's Bar merch, we just got our supplies back up to stock, you just need

[1:12:03] to email hinterlandsbarmerch at gmail.com and we'll, and that'll start the sales

[1:12:10] conversation. And if you want to buy merchandise that I get a taste of, you

[1:12:15] can do that at the Flophouse podcast, or flophousepodcast.com. Wow. So which one

[1:12:22] is it, Dan? Which one is it? Flophouse podcast, without the the. So, normally

[1:12:27] this is the point in the podcast where I would say we get letters from listeners

[1:12:31] and we read a few letters, but we passed an important milestone just recently, 15

[1:12:37] years of the Flophouse, last month it was 15 years on from the first episode's

[1:12:43] release, Stealth, which Elliot was not on, but he joined very quickly thereafter,

[1:12:48] episode eight. And the 15th anniversary is Crystal, so if anyone wants to send us

[1:12:54] anything. Yeah, well, you know what, Elliot, that's the perfect segue because

[1:13:00] the little bit I was going to do in replacement of letters was Crystal-themed

[1:13:04] in honor of the 15th anniversary. It's going to be a little taste of a mini

[1:13:13] right in the middle of a maxi. Oh, so we're playing a game. We're going to play a very short game. A very short game is a

[1:13:21] quote from Crystal Bernard, female lead of the sitcom Wings, starring

[1:13:28] Stephen Webber and Tim Daly, about a small regional airline. And in there

[1:13:35] also Thomas Hayden Church, Tony Shalhoub, you know, big name, but look at their

[1:13:40] stack cast. Is it a quote from Billy Crystal, of course, beloved funny man,

[1:13:47] Princess Bride, the Oscars, etc. And or is it a quote from Crystal the Monkey, one of

[1:13:55] the most famous monkeys. You may know Crystal from Community, The Hangover, and

[1:14:01] Night at the Museum. I would challenge the idea of one of the of Crystal

[1:14:06] being one of the most famous monkeys. I think probably a widely seen monkey, but

[1:14:10] known by name. Okay, well, yes, not personally famous, one of the biggest

[1:14:16] monkeys in Hollywood, along with that monkey that's in the Pirates of the

[1:14:20] Caribbean movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the one from Friends. I think the

[1:14:27] Pirates one is the Friends one. Oh, Johnny Depp was on Friends? Yeah. Oh, man. Okay, so.

[1:14:33] Piece of trash. Well, is it Crystal Bernard, a quote from Billy Crystal, or Crystal the

[1:14:41] Monkey? All right, okay. I knew that I did not want to be a statistic, that I wanted

[1:14:46] happiness within, and I wanted to be present because I knew what a great

[1:14:50] mover I was. I could move things and make things happen.

[1:14:56] That doesn't sound like a monkey. Should we take turns? This is free form. I'll buzz in.

[1:15:02] Yeah. Billy Crystal. That was Crystal Bernard. Whoa! Egg on Elliot's face.

[1:15:11] What an idiot. A Swarovski crystal egg on my face. Ow. Here's another quote.

[1:15:19] Oh, and I got this. Yeah. Billy Crystal. No, no. No, sorry. Again. Oh, I can't believe you missed that one up.

[1:15:29] That one was Crystal the Monkey. Here's one. You're not going to let Stu steal? Consider the rose. The rose is

[1:15:35] the sweetest-smelling flower of all, and it's the most beautiful because it's the

[1:15:38] most simple, right? But sometimes you got to clip the rose. You got to cut the rose

[1:15:43] back so something sweeter-smelling and stronger and even more beautiful will grow

[1:15:48] in its place. That's from who? Anyone? I'm going to buzz in. I believe that is from a commercial for Crystal Light.

[1:15:59] No, I'm afraid not. That was that was Billy Crystal. That was Billy Crystal.

[1:16:04] Okay. How about this one? We actors have to be conscious of ourselves. There's vanity involved.

[1:16:10] There's competitiveness. There's something that's not appealing to me about myself that I try to

[1:16:13] get away from. I'm constantly trying to see that in others. That doesn't feel like home to me.

[1:16:20] Yeah. Crystal the Monkey. That was Crystal Bernard. Oh. Crystal Bernard. Okay. Here's

[1:16:27] there's just two more. What's the score right now, Dan? What's the score? Zero to zero.

[1:16:32] Tie game. Anyone's game. Yeah. Here's one. What's so fascinating and frustrating and great about life

[1:16:38] is that you're constantly starting over all the time, and I love that.

[1:16:44] Yeah. Tough one. Okay. I've got one. I've got one. I've got one. Okay. Is it Jesus Crystal?

[1:16:54] That was not from Greasy Jesus. That was not from Jesus Christ Super Crystal.

[1:17:04] No. Were you trying to say Jesus Christ Super Crystal and you said Greasiest Jeans?

[1:17:08] Yes.

[1:17:14] Greasiest Jeans. Well, let me remind you of the words of our Lord Greasiest Jeans

[1:17:21] when he said, he said, burn the other beach.

[1:17:28] Okay. I got one. Let's remember the words of our Savior when he said that

[1:17:33] truly the Meiji would embarrass the Derv. Oh, I've got one final quote. Here it is.

[1:17:48] Yeah. Yeah, it was. Yeah, sure. Fuck it. It was Greasiest.

[1:17:54] Yeah. I'm going to say Greasiest also. It was Greasiest doing an impersonation of Crystal

[1:18:00] the Monkey. Everyone's a winner. That's the way we do it. And that was our gift to you,

[1:18:09] the listener, to celebrate 15 years of this podcast. 15 years. You've been listening to

[1:18:14] this garbage for 15 years. It's complete crap. I think our show is really cool, actually,

[1:18:21] and the people who listen to it are also cool. No, it's true. We're uncomfortable with our own

[1:18:27] selves, so we discount accomplishments. Anyway, let's move on. I was thinking about this. I was

[1:18:34] talking to my wife about this, and I was like, it's been 15 years, which means in five years,

[1:18:39] it's conceivable that we'll have 20 years of this show. And at that point, I just don't know

[1:18:43] how we stop. It just keeps going. Someday we might have 50 years of this show. That's the problem.

[1:18:50] Well, I think what we're aiming for, let's be clear, is the Mark Twain Award for American

[1:18:59] humor. Okay, that's our goal. So we got to elect a flophouse president so that they can curry favor

[1:19:09] the Kennedy Center Honors. I don't know how it works. Yeah, yeah. But we want one of those

[1:19:13] awards. Give us one of those. Okay, we'll just keep going for that one.

[1:19:18] But we're like an MTV Kids' Choice Award or Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award or whatever.

[1:19:24] Just dump a bunch of cash on us. Yeah, like an MTV Movie Award for

[1:19:28] greatest what the moment or whatever. Yeah, our best kiss from the MTV Movie Awards,

[1:19:35] we'll take it. It's always fucking Spider-Man. It's always Spider-Man hanging upside down every

[1:19:40] year. You know what? I get it. It's hot. They're up there, Harry Styles and Olivia Rodrigo opening

[1:19:50] the envelope and they're like, oh, Spider-Man again. Why do we still do this? Why do we do this?

[1:19:57] Why are we trapped in this sardine?

[1:20:00] In hellscape where we are constantly just saying spider-man wins the best kiss. Yeah

[1:20:04] That was the original the original myth of sisyphus was he kept having to announce spider-man as winner of best kiss

[1:20:10] the myth of spider kiss

[1:20:12] That's the kiss of the spider kiss and they go spider-man will accept this award via satellite and he's in his office

[1:20:19] Full of mtv movie awards behind him. It's like I can't believe you didn't say myth of kiss

[1:20:24] Or kiss a face

[1:20:26] Kiss the myth of kiss

[1:20:29] The myth of kiss a face is that he's just trying to smooch that boulder, but it keeps rolling up the hill

[1:20:33] Kiss a face sounds like something that jerry lewis made

[1:20:38] Sort of like later in his career. Yeah, but it's a it's a yeah, it's a jerry lewis kind of greek greek myth type thing. Yeah

[1:20:45] Uh, that kind of stuff

[1:20:49] Let's uh recommend

[1:20:51] Oh movies that we saw that's what this is the movie pipe movie podcast

[1:20:56] Recommend movies that we saw we love the flicks here at the old flop house. Yeah flop house has the movies recommendations

[1:21:03] I'm gonna i'm gonna recommend a couple things. The first thing is more, uh on on behalf of audrey who

[1:21:10] Uh said that I should give honorable mention to a movie that we watched

[1:21:14] uh, we went to the the wedding of one of uh

[1:21:19] Ellie's my old co-workers at the daily show. Um

[1:21:23] and uh

[1:21:26] Audrey and I did ellie was not there. Uh, I was not invited

[1:21:31] What are we gonna get to the move confusing?

[1:21:34] Uh, this is a lot of backstory for what's just going to be the title of a movie that you're recommending. Yeah

[1:21:39] We we went up to albany for this. We've been traveling during the day. We uh, we're out in the sun

[1:21:45] Not like a lot of travel but we you know, I say yeah

[1:21:48] Everything getting out of new york is a hassle. It's true. Um, just ask bill just ask bill murray in that one movie

[1:21:53] Yeah, oh boy quick change. Um, yeah, so we were looking not that quick to change took a long time to get out of new york

[1:21:58] That's the thing the title's ironic. That's what makes the movie. So good. We were looking for something father benna considers it. Yeah

[1:22:05] very light and um

[1:22:07] You know easy on the brain at the end of the day

[1:22:11] Like pie, uh, we're going through netflix

[1:22:15] Is that easy on the brain a pie? Yeah, uh, we're going the movie not shoving a pie into your ear. Yeah

[1:22:22] Like that was a pie easy on the yeah, that was when I watched the movie pie. I'm like, when's he gonna stick a pie?

[1:22:30] Point is

[1:22:31] We were scrolling through netflix. Uh, I saw the description for the movie work it which had the words dance

[1:22:39] Competition and ragtag group and I knew that those are three of audrey's

[1:22:44] Key keywords when it comes to things that she might enjoy. So i'm like keywords

[1:22:49] kiki words, um and

[1:22:52] Point is now you're not talking about work at the sitcom that barely existed about two guys

[1:22:57] Who have to dress in drag to keep their jobs? Yeah, this is not even my main recommendation

[1:23:01] I'm, just saying a lot of backstory for it. Do you like it? Well

[1:23:05] There's been a lot of roadblocks

[1:23:08] On the way, uh, if you like that kind of thing, it's a fun example of that kind of thing

[1:23:13] It's not much beyond that but you don't always yeah, I mean you're not you're not like

[1:23:18] Begging the academy to yeah. Yeah. No, i'm like you like a fun dance competition movie that one might be for you

[1:23:24] Okay, but the more challenging, uh much sadder movie i'm recommending is resurrection starring rebecca hall

[1:23:31] about uh

[1:23:33] a woman who has

[1:23:35] um

[1:23:36] You know, it's a horror movie. There are levels of reality. It's hard to say exactly what happens in the film

[1:23:43] let us just say that someone who

[1:23:45] Was part of abusive relationship with her reenters her life and she has

[1:23:50] Sort of a mental dissolution from that point which makes it a very painful

[1:23:54] Movie to watch in a lot of ways, uh, and also a very rebecca hall movie. She likes to make. Yeah

[1:23:59] Well, that's women whose minds dissolve. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say the best in the biz when I'm a brittle fucking

[1:24:05] Love rebecca hall in

[1:24:08] Particularly though in horror movies about trauma. I loved how good she was in the night house like she is great at

[1:24:15] just being someone who is

[1:24:18] very strong, but also dealing with forces that any

[1:24:21] would shake any strong person and uh

[1:24:25] in this case the force is tim roth who is

[1:24:28] Like equally good on the other side just like a horrible man

[1:24:32] Who clearly is just a malevolent force and uh talk about it

[1:24:37] Did it did I ever tell you my story about when my brother met him?

[1:24:40] No, my brother met him and then asked him if they could take a picture and he went no and just walked away

[1:24:48] Uh

[1:24:48] But this movie just be forewarned. Like I said, it is about someone who is sort of re-experiencing the trauma of

[1:24:57] past abuse which

[1:24:59] Might be not for everyone, but it's a horror movie

[1:25:02] Uh that goes some very strange places. The acting is so good

[1:25:07] And I just really had a great time even while it being almost unbearable at certain points, too

[1:25:13] uh

[1:25:14] I've been watching a lot of a lot of horror movies lately and the one i'm gonna pick out of my horror movie bag

[1:25:20] I guess it's a horror movie is uh

[1:25:22] bodies bodies bodies, uh a

[1:25:25] kind of a thriller, uh

[1:25:27] with a bunch of youngins all in a house and

[1:25:31] Somebody dies and they're trying to figure it out and they all suspect each other

[1:25:36] Some uh important points is that lee pace is in it and he is very tall

[1:25:41] Um, and let's see, uh, rachel senat. I think senat. I don't know how to pronounce name

[1:25:47] From uh shiva baby, uh, which I recommend previously and was shot in this very neighborhood that we're sitting in right now

[1:25:54] Uh mere blocks from where i'm seated

[1:25:58] She's getting a lot of extraneous world building

[1:26:01] Blowing up my spot. Uh, yeah when when the when the when the shiva baby tour comes through

[1:26:09] That must be dan mccoy's department, yeah, uh, but she gives a really great, uh, almost star making

[1:26:15] Uh turn it's it's fun. It's light. Uh, it's you know got some jokes. I liked it

[1:26:22] Bodies bodies bodies i'm gonna recommend a movie, uh from 1947

[1:26:26] It's called the gangster and it's a late noir film. I guess it's a medium time noir film. Uh,

[1:26:33] and it stars, uh, barry sullivan as a gangster with the

[1:26:36] kind of funny name of shabanka who uh

[1:26:39] And the movie has trouble getting over the fact that the main character's name is shabanka. But uh, the he is uh,

[1:26:45] He's a numbers guy. He runs the numbers racket in uh somewhere in in brooklyn, I think and

[1:26:51] He it has this view of the world where he trusts no one he's always uh

[1:26:56] Thinks everyone's going to betray him. He suspects everything and he refuses to let himself relax or care

[1:27:02] uh

[1:27:02] really deeply about somebody else or let someone else care about him and that ends up biting him in the end as

[1:27:07] Uh a larger organization moves in on him and he finds that he has nowhere he can turn

[1:27:11] And it's got a really great supporting cast kim tameroff is in it

[1:27:15] Uh, there's elisha cook jr

[1:27:16] Has a small role in it all these people who are great in old movies and there's a couple of side plots

[1:27:21] That are kind of that are surprisingly funny or tragic

[1:27:24] There's a tragic story about a man who owes too much money because he's been gambling

[1:27:28] And has embezzled some there's a funny story about the soda jerk at a at a soda fountain who is considers himself a

[1:27:37] a

[1:27:38] Just a lady's man, but can't really seal the deal

[1:27:41] Uh, but overall is a kind of dark movie and one of the things that's real cool about it is

[1:27:46] It was super low budget for the time

[1:27:48] They did not shoot anything on location in new york

[1:27:50] Which meant they had to create these kind of very artificial new york street sets and kind of like coney island style boardwalk sets

[1:27:57] and so it has this weird kind of

[1:27:59] Uh, like dreamlike quality to it because the street scenes look so artificial in a really cool in a way that I thought was really cool

[1:28:06] Uh, so that's the gangster. It's just a

[1:28:08] It's a nice little strange noir movie

[1:28:11] so

[1:28:13] Hey, we did it. Yeah 15 years. You did it. Happy birthday to us. Um

[1:28:18] We celebrated that birthday with amityville in space and the game about crystal bernard

[1:28:26] Just like the flop house, um, hey, uh, if you like this nonsense

[1:28:30] There's a chance you'd like the other nonsense over at maximum fun.org. Some of it's not even nonsense some of it has

[1:28:36] Real information if that's your flavor, uh

[1:28:40] and um also, uh

[1:28:42] You know tweet about us review us do what you can to spread the word. It really does help. Um,

[1:28:47] If you've done in the past, hey, we're not talking to you. Don't get mad at us for bothering you about it again

[1:28:51] Okay, it's it's fine. It's fine. Everyone's okay. Everyone's friends here. Yeah, right calm down. Yeah, but um dan are you okay also?

[1:28:59] I think so

[1:29:00] Uh one one other thing, uh, this is edited by howl dotty, uh, alex smith howl dotty on twitter

[1:29:07] uh, there's a

[1:29:10] A podcast called howl dotty's fast. Yeah, you're just a guest right? I was recently just a guest

[1:29:15] I forgot to plug it during the plugs, but i'll plug it now that we're talking about how great alex is our producer

[1:29:20] Uh, we wrote a song in half an hour

[1:29:22] And then I sang it and you can hear me

[1:29:25] Trying to find like the notes of a song that i've never heard before because we just invented it

[1:29:31] uh, I mean alex gave me the notes, but it's

[1:29:34] So much harder than singing like a karaoke song that you've heard a million times. I'm like, yeah, I think this is the tune

[1:29:39] Anyway, if you want to hear me sing a bossa nova about being

[1:29:44] Uh an adult crybaby. Um

[1:29:47] Yeah, then that's where you can do it over it

[1:29:50] Fast track so check that out. Um, but for the flop house i've been dan mccoy

[1:29:55] I've been stewart wellington. I'm elliot caylen

[1:29:58] Bye

[1:30:00] I don't know, should we start? Is that how we do it?

[1:30:04] Yeah, we always, I mean, if we don't start, we never finish.

[1:30:09] That's true, yeah, yeah, no. That's a good, that's true. As true as it is

[1:30:13] unnecessary to say. What is a podcast if not saying words, as

[1:30:21] Jesse says over and over. Yeah, what is a podcast if not saying unnecessary

[1:30:25] stuff? Yeah. Maximumfun.org, comedy and culture. Artist-owned, audience-supported.

Episode #378 - Amityville in Space

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